#like…this is what connor mcdavid fell in love with

[tylerpitlicktruther]

btw this is what connor mcdavid let break his heart

[tradetobest]

do u still think abt the golf au bc i would pay billions for you to infodump about it…

YEs i love thinking about this au so much thank you so much for asking me about it anon ilysm....

(under the cut bcs it feels a bit long to me)

this was my first act as a hockey fan it has such a special place in my heart.... i thought about it while i was in class and sorted everyone into categories Definitively. thank you for making me do this. of course some of the things i have these guys do you Shouldnt Do on a golf course, and like this is Super unrealistic but i love having my fun ok…. just Good Vibes… (also, im generalizing “clubhouse” as both people who work as servers at the course’s restaurant and the people who help golfers with carts/clubs/etc and all that. i did Not work there At All so it just makes it easier for me to loop them…. imagine they just like rotate around or something….)

OK… so…. starting with the two who started it all, mitch and auston.

i dont ever think i ever totally explained what mitch and auston's roles were besides surface level stuff so!! mitch is a member of the turf team at the golf course, which are basically the group of people who go around and cut the grass and do the landscaping and all of that. like ice crew, but just for the golf course.

auston is like. i don't know. some sort of moderately rich guy. maybe he's Auston Matthews or maybe he's just rich, i have no clue. all that matters is he golfs. maybe he's a professional golfer. of course, i imagine everything in this au as happening at my course, but tbh it works at any course...

(now, of course, one of mitch's friends works at the clubhouse, and tells mitch every time auston is sitting there looking for him... willy nylander youre a real one)

just imagine mitch driving around a work truck with a rake, a bucket of sand, and a leaf blower in the back and auston (dressed prim, and proper, white pants white shoes white hat purple shirt all nice) literally falling all over himself to talk to him. loitering all over just Hoping that Maybe mitch will drive by and he can rope him into conversation. meanwhile when mitch sees willy he’s like “yeah auston’s so cute but like idk if he’d ever go for me” and willy is like “yeah you have no fucking idea”

i used to have to do this task which was just. watering all of the flowers near the clubhouse and i can imagine mitch doing that and like surroptitiously glancing over his shoulder to check if auston is around or watching or something… just some good old fluffy pining yk…

i have a like Whole Ass procreate file w everyone sorted into lil groups so here’s some little tidbits …

i think i mightve talked abt this in another post but sid (crosby) and claude (giroux) both work for turf and are both Incredibly Competitive about it in the most insane way ever… im talking “you take half the course i take half the course and we see who finishes faster” (starting at 6am ish) mowing competitions and theyre both done at 8 on the dot…. insane people shit…. they did it with bunkers ONCE and claude tripped and fell into a bunker and broke his wrists so they do not do that anymore o7….

in honour of my boss feeling like my dad i put patty marleau and matt martin in turf…. they do rough mowing in honour of the two guys at my course who Only did rough mowing…. big ass machine

the thing to know about guys who are higher up on the turf echelon is that not only do they all know each other but they also went to school for it… turf school…. all this to say top grad of turf school Sidney Crosby got some little ducklings and thats how Connor McDavid (top turf school grad) got to this course…. we love that for him

shoutout to other guys who also have fun little romance stories but who arent mitch and auston, including but not limited to:

connor mcdavid, who keeps getting his work paused by these three golfers, which always makes him grit his teeth and smile softly at them, because Holy Shit Let Me Get Back To My Job Please. matthew tkachuk (son of Great Golfer Keith Tkachuk) seems to take joy in interrupting connor while he’s in the middle of something, jack eichel always catches him bent over and sweaty trying to shove the wheels back onto a greens mower for one of the kids, and leon draisaitl stands on the side to wait until connor’s at least done a pass to ask him something. matthew jack and leon can be seen at the clubhouse after they finish a round, head in hands, because connor is oblivious to their flirting. maybe they should try learning the names of different types of grass.

jamie drysdale (uni student staying with his grandparents over the summer) always comes to the clubhouse for breakfast with them, which absolutely delights bored server trevor zegras… too bad the summer has to end some time! lol! anyway

tyler bertuzzi (turf) seems to always have dirt under his fingernails, some mulch and woodchips stuck to his shorts, scuffs on his knees, and a dirty ass sweater on. dylan larkin (clubhouse) finds him INCREDIBLY endearing.

brady tkachuk (son of Great Golfer Keith Tkachuk) when he’s not driving his brother around so he can try and find connor (“seriously, matthew, he looks busy” “no, it’ll be fine, look—”) is smiling sweetly at the fumbling german waiter who always engages leon in rapidfire german conversation. tim, his nametag says, and brady would love to have more than a few word conversation with him. maybe he should interrupt leon’s brooding time with matthew and jack and ask him to teach him some german.

if you want to communicate with the turf team’s mechanic and don’t want to be asked “where sid? tell him—” you should bring sid with you to see him. however, if you do bring sid, you will have to watch him and said mechanic do Weird Flirting for a good 30 mins before your question is answered. this is outside of the Weird Flirting they do anyway, all the time. if a day goes by without sid twirling his hair kicking his feet over some shit geno said to him earlier in the day has the day really gone by?

followup turf/clubhouse Flirting (I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION THEM IYKYK) tyler seguin, Pretty Boy Galore, and his loud, bubbly, and all consuming obsession with quiet doe-eyed turf worker jamie benn. now thats what i call oblivious. “yeah i flirt with jamie all the time but he just thinks its a joke haha he couldnt want me i know that like have you seen him?” “yeah tyler flirts with me but he’s just joking he doesn’t mean that he could never like me like that have you seen him?” and all that good good shit… tyler sees jamie take off his shirt once because it got soaked and loses his mind.

jack hughes (brother of turf guys luke and quinn) absolutely has the biggest crush on his coworker, fellow clubhouse worker nico hischier. once nico got wet in the rain and soaked through his white work shirt and jack almost lost his fucking mind. absolutely twirling his hair kicking his feet.

both pairs of bruins that i like (bergeron/marchand and swayman/ullmark) are fun little golf tandems. me when i get a hole in one and hug and twirl around a kiss my golf partner. what if we kissed in the front seat of a golf cart. and all that.

finally… honourable mention to john tavares (golfer, has his own labelled golf cart at a course in toronto… love that for you king….) kris letang (turf) and marc-andré fleury (clubhouse) who get to listen to sid moan and groan about geno, and self jarvis (turf) who is completely out of place among the other teams included in this au but i love him so hes here lmfaoo

anyway. yeah. i have LOTS of ideas about this au if you couldnt tell and anon i am SO happy you asked abt it… sorry it took me a few days i have to write like most days for school this semester and its leaving me Very Little time to do anything but reblog posts and draw matty and woller. MATTY AND WOLLER. oh my god i cant believe i almost forgot them uhhh…..

matthew knies and joseph woll are….. both turf workers maybe… yeah. call that lets talk while filling divots on the course or raking bunkers. what if we kissed in the rain while shovelling dirt and seed mix into small holes over and over again. Them

OK IM DONE FR NOW. thank you so much sorry there are no visuals i have written this mostly in class now but if you want to know more or if you want me to elaborate on a specific dynamic (or add some people, because god knows these are just the guys i know/like) or want visuals for anything i can 100% provide, might just take a bit again haha… ilysm anon you made my week

[tapedsleeves]

2023 hrpf fic roundup

VGK / 6167 (mark stone / max pacioretty):

won't run away (but I'll have to take it slow) - the 6167 max thinks mark might be ace fic (rated T) passes too quick to see me - max has a migraine 5x drabble I want strings attached (prequel to our secret's worth its weight in gold published in 2022) - wherein mark buys the ring he hides from max in secret's worth i'd rather drown - after max is traded, he invites his family to visit Mark's house for christmas. but i can't see behind the sun - plane flirting triple drabble tripped and fell on you - max and mark met & hooked up as teenagers wear you like a stitch - mark has temporary amnesia or a gentle kiss - a vague pirate au double drabble

VGK / 981 (Jack Eichel / Jonathan Marchessault):

a wall to bring us closer - jonathan sees the photo of the way jack is looking at him later & decides to do something about it. from a shudder to a shockwave - jack falls in love with vegas, hockey, and jonathan marchessault you don't need to wonder, you're doing fine - Jack gets an idea for the post game award no reason to put up a fight - jack and marchy at stevie's wedding just what i needed - jack makes a kissing bet to get Marchy the Conn Smythe your whole life is a head (I hope we get to see it) - marchy has a crisis about being older than jack

Misc:

VGK: Chandler Stephenson / Shane Hnidy / Neon in the nighttime - parade hookups :)

VGK: Nic Roy / Zach Whitecloud / In all of my wildest dreams (they just ended with you and me) - bubble musing triple drabble

VGK: Nic Roy / Zach Whitecloud / i'll set you up against the stars - Nic wears lingerie

Canes: andrei svechnikov / jordan martinook / teach me to breathe (break me in half) - babygirl andrei :)

NJD: Nico Hischier / Jack Hughes / it's our anthem - first kiss double drabble

Kraken: Will Borgen / Carson Soucy / well and remix of and well from Will's POV

Kraken: Will Borgen / Carson Soucy / go hunt for honey - carson shares chocolate with will

Jets/VGK: Connor Hellebuyck/Laurent Brossoit / Message Pending / connor attempts to invite laurent to his house for a visit.

Jets/VGK: Connor Hellebuyck/Laurent Brossoit / but my body's in the lead - smut set after the Jets lose in round one of the 23 scp

Panthers: Matthew Tkachuk / Aleksander Barkov / Leon Draisaitl / fracture me - quick and dirty porn to make sure that dom!sasha is taking care of Matthew properly.

Panthers: Matthew Tkachuk / Aleksander Barkov / Leon Draisaitl / full time problem - leon calls sasha to set up matthew

Leafs: Kyle Dubas / Sheldon Keefe / ache it 'til you make it - sheldon gets stuck in playoff time loops

Leafs: Kyle Dubas / Sheldon Keefe / checking it twice - sheldon makes sure to write kissing on Kyle's to do list for tomorrow.

Leafs: Kyle Dubas / Sheldon Keefe / sand inside that hourglass (WIP) - Sheldon's wife used to peg him, Kyle offers to scratch the itch.

Avs: Nathan Mackinnon / Jonathan Drouin / just here to become the best yet (i'm just here for the psych assessment) - Jo finds a way to make Nate feel better after their back to back shut out losses

Oilers / VGK: Jack Eichel / Connor McDavid / or stone unturned - 5 times connor touched jack eichel

[cgsf]

Men's Hockey (RPF) fanfiction recs:

Connor McDavid/Leon Draisaitl

"he's no jacob from the bible (but damn he made me pray)" 🔒 (M) by softnoirr | 8,567 | He fell in love with his best friend. He fell out of love with the thing they did together. He broke like a puppet crumbling under its strings.

"freight train running" 🔒 (E) by adeleblaircassiedanser | 1,607 | Right now he cares roughly zero about anything except Leon’s warm hands on him, the way he smells and tastes like he showered and used Listerine and shaved just to be waiting here, waiting for Connor. “Sit down,” Leon says. “I want to blow you. You look so fucking money.”

"The Great Escape" 🔒 (E) by marmolita | 6,809 | Sometimes you just need to drive across Canada with your girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend, and a couple of dogs.

"circle the drain" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 3,431 | “Listen.” Connor leans right up to the mic. “If there’s any kind of—anybody, studying time travel out there, I’m stuck in a time loop, okay? I’m stuck and I don’t know what else to do, take me off to a lab or whatever but I’m so fucking sick of—” “What the fuck,” Leon says, too loud.

"in the spaces no one looks" 🔒 (M) by anonymous | 18,873 | When the lights come back on after the Pride Tape presentation and the boys start to stir, Connor looks at Ebs, sitting on the floor in front of him, and he says, without thinking, "Is this about me?" Everyone within earshot freezes.

"All In" 🔒 (E) by marmolita | 29,414 | The website is simple and straightforward. The header reads Black Forest BDSM and there's a tasteful banner showing a set of leather handcuffs laying on elegant sheets. There's a photo on the side of a solidly built man in leather pants and a tight fitting shirt, cropped so that his mouth is visible but the rest of his face isn't.

"tonight we're gonna drown the sound out" 🔒 (E) by winglavender | 1,970 | Some days Leon still can't believe he gets to have this: Connor, his hair fluffed up from Leon's fingers, all his teeth showing, easy and relaxed in a way he isn't anywhere else.

"older, younger, both" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 1,875 | "You look really young this year." "I look the same," Connor says.

"living by the hour" 🔒 (M) by notthequiettype | 1,233 | "Good birthday?" Leon hums, and starts opening up Connor's slacks.

"the weakness of wanting anything" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,323 | "I can't believe you didn't tell me you had an exit strategy," Leon says, and taps the lit button to keep the doors from closing. "I didn't," Connor says, and steps in. "I just got tired."

"this year" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 409 | Connor had been saying, this year this year this year for so long now, a prayer that had lost specificity a long time ago.

"green in your love" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,151 | How it could have, should have, and did.

"green as weeds" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,671 | Connor knows he shouldn't go, that even if Leon's been nice enough to him, gone out of his way include Connor in team stuff more enthusiastically than Connor was used to, it was still different than going to his house, going to a party, going to a party at his house.

"love me mercilessly" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 2,309 | It's not usually like this.

"the consensual reality of ordinary life" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 3,779 | Two years ago, the bland domesticity of a routine would've sent Leon into a spiral.

"show me how to be your boy" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 3,535 | "I'm good," Connor says, when the hot surge of it settles into an ache for more. "You're always good," Leon says, smirking against Connor's mouth.

"universal properties" 🔒 (NR) by stridents | 7,950 | The video has 400k views already. Or at least, this version on Twitter does, which seems to be a repost of an already-deleted account. The caption is just two eyes emojis, a shocked face, and Connor’s fucking Twitter handle.

"a brief, unauthorized guide to tending an exit wound" 🔒 (NR) by stridents | 10,121 | In the ten months between March 2021 and January 2022, Connor McDavid gets swept in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs, initiates a breakup, and is hit very hard on the head.

"legs and limbs" 🔒 (T) by stridents | 757 | “You’re unglaublich.” Connor says it soft and haltingly, because it’s new and unfamiliar and Leon’s. His mouth is refusing to cooperate, tongue sitting too close to his new teeth. “Very good.” Almost true. And besides – Leon loves him.

"The Sexual Adventures of McDavid (or How Connor Learns To Relax)" 🔒 (M) by carissima | 6,546 | Leon’s heart is racing as he steps into the shower and flicks the water on. It’s hot and the pressure is too high, his skin prickling as the water flows down his body. He ducks his head under the spray and tries to get his breathing under control. Connor just checked him out, he’s sure of it.

"(a kiss) to encourage" 🔒 (T) by carissima | 1,023 | “I don’t mind running,” Leon says, stepping off the machine and grabbing a bottle of water that he downs in one long drink. “You just need some motivation.” Connor groans and gets to his feet. “Nope. Nothing could motivate me to run.” Leon pats his shoulder. “We’ll think of something.”

"push and pull" 🔒 (T) by carissima | 5,415 | “Say you want it then,” Leon says, skating backwards and keeping his gaze locked on Connor. “Say you want the fucking trophy, Connor.” “I want the trophy,” Connor yells. It echoes weirdly in the empty space around them but he doesn’t care. “Are you happy now?” “Not yet but we’re getting there,” Leon says.

"dragging myself back home" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 4,021 | Connor doesn’t go to Cologne on a whim. He’s been thinking about it for a long time—since Leon announced his retirement from the NHL more than a year ago. Connor meant to go watch him play, told him so even, the handful of times they’d talked to each other. But the NHL season was what it was, and even when they were teammates Connor never followed Leon home for the offseason.

"four years, no calls" 🔒 (M) by blaahaj | 4,241 | Connor takes a swig of his beer and waits until Leon’s a safe distance away. This won’t be pleasant, but some things need to be said. “He’s not gonna fuck you, just so you know,” Connor tells Tyson, gently as he can.

"got the ceiling with the stars" 🔒 (E) by eversincewefellapart | 5,655 | “That’s so dope. You got a sugar daddy, huh?” Connor’s face goes hot extremely fast. “I — what? No?” Kailer finally looks up. “The rich older guy you’re dating drops thousands of dollars on gifts for you and takes you on vacations?” he says, and Connor hesitates before nodding. “Congratulations! You got a sugar daddy.”

"the most remarkable thing about you" 🔒 (T) by winglavender | 6,719 | "I was never going to get in the middle of what you and Connor have anyway. You know what I mean," Darnell waves a hand. "The dynamic duo, the two top scorers, the All Star legends, carrying the whole team on your very impressive shoulders. And that crush Connor had on you for years." Darnell shakes his head. "I just can't compete with that kind of bond." Leon is sitting down, but he feels like his skates just slipped out from under him. "What?"

"memory that beats like a drum" 🔒 (M) by notthequiettype | 1,581 | "You lead, I'll follow." Leon says it like it's easy. "Yeah," Connor asks, his voice kind of reedy from yelling on the ice. "That simple?" This doesn't feel simple, suddenly. It feels huge and complicated and maybe almost scary if Connor wasn't too tired to feel anything resembling fear. He wants it anyway. "Anywhere."

"the years of love's past" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 2,169 | Connor sent a gift. It was what you did when you were an adult and an invitation was extended to you, even if it was one you wouldn't accept. Couldn't.

"Can't Change The World (But Maybe I'll Change Your Mind)" 🔒 (M) by puckinghell | 11,006 | Leon knows he should maybe try to contact Connor, but he doesn’t really know what to say. The thing is, if it was anyone else, he’d text. He’d tell them it’d be okay – even though he has no clue – and to get through it and that he’s there for them. He’d then expect to not hear from them again. But it’s Connor, and everything is different, with Connor.

"the perfect blend" 🔒 (T) by carissima | 5,714 | “This your first time here then?” Darnell asks, reaching below the counter to pull out a loyalty card that he dangles in front of Holy Fucking Hottie. “Ten visits gets you a free coffee.” “I guess it depends whether the coffee’s any good then,” Holy Fucking Hottie says, his gaze flickering over to where Connor is sliding the lid on his espresso.

"if we make it through december (we'll be fine)" 🔒 (M) by softnoirr | 15,610 | “Are you uh,” Connor takes a breath, “Are you doing anything for Christmas?” Leon pauses, his hands stilling on the laces of his skates, but he doesn’t look up. Connor’s starting to develop a paranoia that he’s going to forget what Leon’s eyes actually look like.

"tonight the sky's alive" 🔒 (E) by anonymous | 2,371 | Leon grabbing his hand while they were out shopping in the city had been a new thing. Weird but nice, which basically described all of Connor’s friends. He guessed that was a consequence of focusing on hockey for so long.

"kiss me with your mouth open" 🔒 (E) by winglavender | 12,920 | "Why, are you offering?" Leon's still smiling, ready to make a joke of it again. Connor swallows. "What if I was?"

"take me back to places i feel loved in" 🔒 (T) by fishfoods | 1,637 | They'd had a conversation after that last doctor visit, a mess of words and comfort, hands held too tight. Connor could see it in Leon's eyes then. He wasn't going to ask. Connor should've known. He'd never, ever, ever ask. Someone else would've. Not Leon. Connor has one year left. One year. He's going to play, and then he's going to come back, and they'll figure things out from then.

"i know you're something else" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 4,274 | Connor’s never had a friend like Leon before.

"door number two" 🔒 (M) by blaahaj | 5,919 | “You this nice to all Hallsy’s hookups?” Leon asked. Connor shook his head. “You’re the only one I’ve met.” God, he really was new.

"came to win" 🔒 (M) by revanchist | 400 | Because he’s drunk, and because he’s not thinking with his head, and because it’s always harder at the scene of the crime to pretend the crime didn’t happen in the first place, he says, “Sometimes you’re so good I want to slap you.”

"be the one to set me free" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 31,327 | Connor tips his chin up and Leon's mouth is on his in the same breath, something slow and new and careful, exploratory, cautious, Connor's hunger for it simmering low and then roaring to life, hot and heavy in his belly. It's different than kissing Amanda, or Leslie, or any of the girls before or in-between, like it's touching something new. It feels like an itch being scratched that he didn't know was there at all.

"I'm not a sailor, I'm a captain" 🔒 (E) by LizzieMack | 1,940 | so connor mcdavid has a hot tub

"for control, grip" (E) by brinicles | 3,330 | Everything Leon does is foreign and fantastical. He comes back every fall and feels like something from another dimension all over again, something new, novel, a whole different hemisphere of frost boiled down into his blood, a frame that Connor can study endlessly: can watch and scrutinize and never really figure out, never get a handle on. This isn't that, though. This is just Leon being a little shit.

".500" (T) by brinicles | 4,647 | "Fuck," he mutters. "Hey," Connor says from the doorway. He stumbles again. "Fuck," he says again. (Mar 9 2020, EDM vs VGK: You can keep the game alive, but the season dies fast as the year goes on.)

"Better Than I Ever Even Knew" (E) by Lewsy | 13,185 | Connor gets it, has made his peace with the fact that most people find him painfully boring, but he’s managed to keep Leon around, so maybe it’s not that bad.

"and just for this moment (as long as you're mine)" 🔒 (E) by adoringsolitude | 5,815 | He digs his nails into his forearm in a desperate attempt to ground himself as he strains to catalog every sensation, knowing with absolute certainty that even if he manages to ask someone else for this someday, it won’t be as good as this.

"we’re only alive if we bruise" (M) by snowinthestars | 1,916 | Leon and Connor don’t really have personal space with each other.

"no dawn, no day" (T) by jalebibaby | 1,784 | Later, when his heart rate shoots up, and his lungs are on fire, trying to keep up with him pushing so hard to get back on the ice, he counts to twenty-nine.

"even when i lose i’m winning" (NR) by allthatsings | 1,109 | Connor helps an injured Leon get ready for bed during Round 3 of the 2022 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

"impulsivity" 🔒 (NR) by notthethequiettype | 791 | connor goes to germany

"the way things have a double life" 🔒 (M) by notthequiettype | 3,777 | connor decides to try playing it fast and loose. leon isn't handling it well.

"Two Minutes for Hooking" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 5,271 | It used to bother him, being looked at, picked apart, but he’s used to it now. Part of the job.

"what we've made" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,683 | "Come to the house." "Aren't you sick of me?" "Not as sick as I'll be of the quiet."

"miracle summer" 🔒 (T) by Helenish | 2,748 | “I thought,” Connor says once, tucked in next him, drowsy. “When I first saw you coming off the Ferry, I thought you were summer people.”

"cherry bomb" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 2,469 | "Cherries are a little on the nose." Connor hums again, the end tilted into a question. "Fruit," Leon says, and lets his fingers graze higher, the soft skin of Connor's inner thigh.

"sure as the sea" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 3,698 | They don’t do this. But Connor looks so happy, so carefree like he never is, and before he can stop himself Leon asks the girl, “When are we leaving?”

"if i'm not what you hoped" 🔒 (E) by winglavender | 10,425 | "Heard the Leafs lost tonight." "Yeah." Mitch pulls an exaggerated face. "Leading the whole game and then Connor's guy ties it up with a disgusting pass, absolutely filthy, and then scored the overtime winner." "That's rough. You want another one?" The bartender tips her head at Connor's half-empty glass; he shakes his head. "Who's your guy?" "Draisaitl, obviously." Mitch taps the rainbow-patterned 29 on Connor's arm for emphasis. "He's not my guy," Connor says.

"orbit" 🔒 (E) by withfeathers | 2,000 | Leon was one draft spot away from being on the other side of the ice. Not that he thinks about it much.

"when you find out" 🔒 (E) by nymhciv | 10,779 | It takes Connor a moment, blinking, to realise what Yamo is showing him. He sends work out pictures in the team group chat sometimes, they all do, a check in system that had been well established when Connor joined the team. Connor thinks that’s what Yamo is showing him, at first, wonders if he’s about to get shit for his form. Then the Connor on screen moves, sinks further into his lunge, brings his heel up towards his ass. They don’t send video in the team chat, but the team chat isn’t the only place Connor shares his work out routines. And Connor does post video on OnlyFans.

"love casts a shadow" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 645 | Leon thinks, after seven years, he should be used to it.

"cover to cover and unbound" 🔒 (M) by lighthousetowers | 24,659 | “That’s not the ending, is it?” Connor asks. “Uh,” Leon finds the spot where he stopped reading, “yes, it pretty much is. Last sentence: ‘Not made for each other, they are making each other.’ The end, I guess.” It takes a couple beats for Connor to speak. “Is it? The end? They’re still there. They’re still making each other.”

"say it, say it again" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 4,157 | “Where are we going?” Connor asks, lips brushing against Leon’s ear as they hit a speed bump. “Don’t know,” Leon says, eyes on Connor’s mouth as he brings a water bottle to his lips, “Don’t care.”

"but close ain't close enough" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 6,363 | “How come I have to be the girl?” Leon asks. Connor’s too disorientated from the heat and the blood rushing south, liquid fire in his veins with Leon’s breath ghosting over his shoulder so he blurts out, “Cause you’re the pretty one.”

"keep the bullet" 🔒 (E) by cuprun | 19,132 | “It’s not about the sex part. Like, that’s fun and it helps, but it’s more about, like,” Lauren pauses, really thinking about it, “giving up control. Letting someone else be in charge. Letting them figure out what he needs and give it to him without him having to ask.” She raises one shoulder in a delicate shrug. “He could probably explain it better.” Leon doesn’t get flustered, as a general rule, but he might now, at the idea of having this conversation with Connor himself. “And he’d want to do that with me?” “He trusts you,” Lauren says simply.

"Choke" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 8,635 | “Maybe I don’t want my dick sucked,” Connor said reflexively, as Leon racked the barbell with a clatter, heaved a breath, a half laugh, and said, “Speak for yourself.”

"accessory to the rockstar" 🔒 (E) by unsay | 5,318 | It’s not a competition. Leon has seen nature documentaries, he knows about that; he and Lauren evolved to fill different ecological needs.

"the lightning on your breath" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 18,073 | Connor says his name, this low, soft, "Leo," that's going to haunt Leon for the rest of his life, a moment pinned, and he leans in and presses their mouths together, slow enough that he gets to watch Connor's eyes drop shut, his fluttering lashes, to know that Connor knows exactly what's happening, not moving or backing away, laughing or shoving at Leon, just kissing back, opening his mouth against Leon's, and it's better than what happened when they were young when Leon was too cowardly to learn the shape of Connor's mouth against his, better than most of what Leon's had since.

"just the touch of your hand" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 3,463 | Connor's limbs slacken under Leon’s grip, brain short-circuiting, all systems fried except for a white-hot buzz of yes.

"better put that business to bed" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 2,870 | “Get it, Leo,” Connor rasps and fuck. Fuck, his voice. It’s almost completely gone, a throaty rumble two octaves lower than usual and Leon’s dick goes from mildly interested to rock-hard in three seconds flat.

"two strangers in the red light" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 14,937 | Connor looks up, derailed only momentarily by how good-looking the guy is, slacks and a button-down open at the top like his pictures, and a nice wool coat. Connor clears his throat. "Is it better if I tell you I didn't request it, at least?" "And ruin the fantasy that I just found out that Connor McDavid's an absolute freak? No way."

"polite fiction" 🔒 (E) by blaahaj | 3,651 | If Connor thinks it’s worth asking about, he thinks he can make it good, and he’s probably right.

"the best thing that hasn't happened yet" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 36,209 | "It's Connor, right," Leon asks, as he approaches. "It is, yeah. Nice to meet you, Mr. Draisaitl."

"leech" 🔒 (E) by blaahaj | 2,220 | Connor had been holding his breath since May, since Vegas. He didn’t say anything. Let his chest hurt.

"one pitch" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 533 | Connor's always liked the sound of the crowd, but tonight it feels like being smothered.

"i'm gonna tell you right now, they're all i'm thinkin' about" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 7,012 | Connor understands it now, why Lauren takes her time to pick her little outfits, to make sure she looks her best and preens when he compliments her. He wants to be adored too.

"bones in the foundation" 🔒 (M) by cuprun | 8,623 | connor & leon show off their magic disappearing act. it would be great if they did it on purpose. sometimes the haunted house is just your own house.

"Home by Now" 🔒 (T) by ClaraxBarton | 2,769 | There are brats, and then there are brats. Leon had grown up safe and secure in the knowledge that he was good. It hadn’t really been a question - if Leon would be a sub or a dom or a switch or adynamic. Draisaitl boys were always subs, always had been - always, his grandmother had once smirked, would be. So. Leon was a sub, but Leon was good.

"lean on my mistakes" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 4,287 | “So why are you two normal?” Leon asked. Kailer rubbed his chin. “I can still feel it,” he said after a second. “It’s just that I’ve had a crush on you for like three years now so it’s not a big deal. You do look really good though, man,” and he patted Leon’s chest. “Thank you,” Leon said, and looked at Connor.

"to think I almost had it going" 🔒 (NR) by bluenorth | 1,109 | There’s a ringing in Connor’s ears. It’s a never-ending crescendo, it drowns out the red mass of people that gets more agitated as the final seconds of the game run out. It feels personal and what can anyone do when time and luck are not on your side? When nothing you do is ever enough? When the thing you want is within your grasp and someone takes it before you can?

"bend and break this fever dream" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 7,019 | Connor McDavid Goes to Kink Class

"if i could make a wish" 🔒 (M) by lagerlout | 2,884 | “People can see us.” “It’s just the team,” Leon mumbles, lips brushing against his shoulder, “Any of them would want to take care of their captain.”

••••••

"did all of this sober" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 2,344 | “Yeah, I mean.” Connor’s hands are on his hips. He’s wearing the gross underarmor Leon always tried to get him to throw away, with padding over the collarbone. “Leo is…you know, we work very closely together off the ice. Worked. What happened is behind me and I just want to move on with the season.” Nobody has the balls to ask Connor about the other rumors going around. Leon figured they wouldn’t.

"Scoring Effects" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 30,196 | One constant of NHL hockey is that teams that are losing, on average, dominate play. They have the puck more, they take more shots, they take more risks, they score more goals. These effects are broadly called "score effects.”

Ongoing list that will be updated.

[leafs-lover]

Too Far Gone - Part Fifty One

A/N: There was supposed to be another cute/fluffy part before this but I figured you were getting bored of all the softness and decided to mix it up.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drinking, talks of mental health - anxiety, a little angst

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 5900

Coming home Auston is beat.

It wasn’t a particularly long trip, only gone for three nights, but for some reason he just feels mentally drained. He has for weeks.

The first time he noticed was the Sunday morning of the All-Star weekend. He spent the days before taking Taylour around the city, bringing him to the dressing rooms to meet the players (he was only really interested in Fred and Mitch) and all the mascots, they watched the skills competitions and games with his family. It was a great couple of days in St. Louis, so great Auston posted a picture of Taylour to his story for the first time, ever. You couldn’t see his face, could barely see any part of him with the puffy jacket and toque he had on, but something about it felt good. Even though there were press releases where Auston acknowledged he had a kid, a couple interviews where he’d casually say “my son” in an answer, it felt as if he was hiding Taylour from the world. He didn’t want Taylour to grow up and think he was embarrassed or ashamed of him because that couldn’t be further from the truth - media and fans haven’t shown they deserve to see that part of his life.

It didn’t come without consequences. Thousands of messages on Instagram, screenshots ending up on every other social media platform, but Auston didn’t worry about any of that. He only concerned himself with Tia’s response, and the heart emoji showed she was okay with the decision.

On the Saturday night he, Fred and Mitch ventured out, along with Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl, Matthew Tkachuk, Mat Barzal and a few other players. They had dinner and drinks, then they had shots. They shared stories of themselves and other players in the league. They all talked with a group of women; Fred ducked out early to go home with one of those women.

At 1:30, Auston climbed into bed and opened his phone. He ventured to Instagram and watched Tia’s stories – who spent the night out with friends celebrating her first official sale. She was practically bursting out of a low-cut, tight, emerald green crop top, her skirt was short and her boots stopped just below the knee. Auston saw and loved the outfit, that wasn’t what he focused on. His favourite part was how happy she looked.

Once he watched all of Tia’s stories, Becks started to play. He watched every single one of hers, smiling at the videos of Tia dancing - a few drinks always unleashed her quirky side. He even watched the one where she was in the background, talking to a blonde at the bar while Becks fumbled around with the camera, trying to focus on Camille and Emily who were singing wildly off-key to The Backstreet Boys. Auston laughed, he could practically smell the alcohol through the screen, or maybe that was his own.

He woke up early, surprisingly without a hangover. He FaceTimed Tia to confirm the plans to pick up Alex and Taylour at Pearson. In that moment he felt fine, then he tried to make plans for them to celebrate as a family, and it felt like she blew him off. She fed him something about being busy with school (midterms were coming up), working at the store and getting the order out. Auston understood and didn’t push it, but it just kept happening.

Any time he’d see her he’d casually bring it up and she always had a reason not to. It felt like pulling teeth. There were thirteen days where Auston was in Toronto and didn’t have a game, that she could have picked from.

The only reason he got her to a restaurant was because he told Taylour it was her birthday, and she couldn’t say no to him. He tried to tell himself it was all in his head; Tia was actually busy and not ignoring him. The dinner fell on her reading week, and she should have been somewhat more relaxed. She could barely look him in the eye, and 90% of what she said was ‘hmm’ or ‘yeah.’ It shouldn’t have been that hard.

That was when he knew Tia was shutting him out. He didn’t know what caused it, everything on the surface seemed to be going well. She had a few more sales, she aced all her midterms, and when he asked Becks, she laughed him off and said she’d never seen Tia so happy.

She wasn’t upset or letting her mental health deteriorate. She wasn’t grappling with knowing Kylie lived on the other side of town, she wasn’t searching either of their names on Twitter or Tumblr. She had a problem with him.

Their usually playful banter was gone. FaceTime’s where they’d spend the entire time talking because Taylour was asleep completely stopped. Instead, he’d get texts that said “Taylour’s asleep, can’t talk.”

Days either dragged on or went by in a blur. He couldn’t focus on what people were saying or doing around him. When he stepped on the ice he managed to tune it all out and play hockey, but once the gear came off Auston shut down. The more she pulled away the more he felt himself fade. At this point he doesn’t what he needs to feel better, if anything can even help, but he needs something to bring him out of the haze.

His bag lands with a heavy thud by the door, he is too bothered to carry it to his room. He kicks his sneakers against the wall and tosses his keys on the small table a few feet away. With his head down he slips his hand into the pocket of his hoodie and lights up the screen. Defeated when he doesn’t see Tia’s name on the screen.

He’s so out of it, moving robotically, that he doesn’t even recognize the sounds coming from his living room. The clattering of plastic and faint giggles. He rounds the corner and Taylour drops one of the cars for the Paw Patrol tower which causes Auston’s head to snap up. So perplexed by what is happening he doesn’t even attempt to welcome the tiny body barreling his way; instead, Taylour runs right into his leg.

“Taylour?” Auston calls out, wondering if this is real.

“Hi, Daddy!” His entire face is glowing.

“What are you doing here?” Auston bends down and picks him up, bringing him in for a tight hug.

“I’m playing with my tower,” Taylour simply explains. 

“Yeah, I see that,” he lets out a quiet laugh, knowing his son doesn’t really understand the question. “Is your mom here?”

“Mhm.” Taylour nods.

“Where is she?” Auston gently pokes his side to prompt him further.

“I don’t know.” Taylour squirms and lets out a soft giggle, one of Auston’s favourite sounds. “Maybe the kitchen.”

She isn’t. Apart from the coffee pot that’s half full of cold coffee, there is no evidence she was ever there.

“I’m going to find her.” Auston kisses Taylour’s temple as he lowers him to his feet. “Then I’ll come play with you.”

“Okay, Daddy!” He emphatically nods.

Auston waited for a second to watch Taylour, worried that if he blinked Taylour could disappear. Even though he heard his voice, smelt his hair, and felt his touch, he still couldn’t believe it was real. Tia long ago was given a key, but only used it those couple days at Christmas. In fact, she rarely even comes to his apartment. He is the one with a car, it makes more sense for him to drive ten minutes than for her and Taylour to sit on a bus for almost forty minutes.

When Auston finally accepts this is real, Taylour is there and not some incredibly vivid hallucination, he turns around and walks back toward the door. He once again leaves the bag by the door, then ventures down the hall. He first stops at Taylour’s room, but she isn’t there – the bed is made, perfectly, with tight corners, pillows and stuffed animals neatly arranged – she was there at some point.

He pokes his head in the spare room, the bed is made which again could be Tia, but nothing else is out of place. There isn’t a hairbrush or face cream on the dresser, there is no sweater folded on the bed – left out for when she inevitably gets cold – and the faint scent of her perfume doesn’t linger in the air. The bathroom too is empty, along with the laundry. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she wasn’t there.

Then he hears it.

A mumbled curse word, followed by a loud clattering sound coming from his closet.

He has spent hours in her room, slept in her bed every night for months, but he can’t remember a time Tia was in his. Auston is so fixated on how peculiar everything is, he ignores the mountain of clothes on the various pieces of furniture, the Rubbermaid totes overflowing with sneakers and stacks of hats on the dresser.

Tia is so fixated on what she is doing she doesn’t even notice him. Pieces of wood, rods, and bags of screws and bolts scattered around. His drill is pushed to the corner and a pencil is tucked behind her ear, holding back her chestnut hair that is simply blow-dried. She is on her hands and knees, hunched over a set of Ikea instructions, spinning a screw in her hand.

“Who puts two screws in the same bag without labeling them,” she utters. “They are the exact same, but one is longer, how do I know if this –“

“What are you doing?” Auston leans against the doorframe, his voice drawing up her gaze. 

“I thought I had more time.” She drops the instructions and flicks her wrist to glance at the watch, then looks back up at him. 

“To remove all the clothes you dislike?” He queries, joking slightly. 

“Not enough time for that,” she dismisses teasingly, then turns her attention back to the instructions. “I’m trying to install these organizers.” 

Reaching down he grips her wrists and forces her to her feet - the only way to get her full attention. “Why are you installing organizers in my closet.”

Her eyes drop to the side. Tia doesn’t have the strength to look in his eyes and tell him. Wave after wave of anxious energy rolls off her. If she had the stomach for breakfast, it likely would reappear. But she couldn’t eat, has barely eaten in days.

“Tia?” Her behaviour does little to settle his nerves, in fact it does the opposite. His heart is pounding and one of his hands is bound in a fist, so tight his nails carve into his palm, but he doesn’t notice. With his free hand Auston grabs her chin and forces her to look his way. “Talk to me,” he pleads, desperately.

“I –“ she whispers, unable to speak with any sort of authority. Her eyes dart all over the place, never meeting his burning gaze until a thumb begins to sweep over her jaw. It’s such a simple touch, something he has done countless times before, and like every time before it works, she is looking at him. His usually warm and grounding eyes are panicked, desperate to be let in, but there is still a softness to them, one that gets her every time.

She rises to her tippy toes and wraps her arms around his neck. Her fingers tug at the baby hairs on the nape of his neck she lets out a soft sigh following the first brush of their lips - she missed the way he felt, the way he tastes. She tries not to think of the million ways this could end badly. She tries. And for a moment everything is amazing, perfect even. She swears Auston returns the kiss, which is all she needs to sink into it and tug on his curls a little harder.

Then Auston pulls away.

A wide and sweet smile is pressed to her face, she rises to her tippy toes again. This time Auston pushes her down to the floor and takes a step back, creating space between them.

“Tia?”

Auston is frozen. He was confused enough by her behaviour the last few weeks; he doesn’t even know where to start processing this. Did it actually happen, or is this still a very vivid hallucination?  

Her face twists into a mix of embarrassment and disappointment. She gasps. Horrified. Absolutely horrified. “I…I am so sorry,” she quickly fumbles out. What has she done?

She takes a step over an assembled drawer and tries to maneuver around him when he throws an arm in front of her stomach. Tia tries to swat at Auston’s arm, she can barely handle his concerned gaze, there is no way she can allow his touch.

“Please,” she croaks. A lump in her throat blocks the oxygen from reaching her lungs.

“Tia.” He almost laughs, how could she think he’d let her go?”

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

Auston’s voice is scarily calm. “But you did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just explain.”

Auston feels Tia lean back on her heals and his arm drops, the two of them stand just inches apart. The air that sits between them is heavy, so much that needs to be said but not enough words to say it. 

Neither one knows how long they stand there. Seconds bleed into what feels like hours. Breathing in the same air, barely able to hear the others shaky exhales over the pounding of their own heart. Tia uses all her strength to not crumble then and there. She never saw it going like this.

“Mommy!” Taylour’s voice ruptures the silence. “Mommy!” Two little feet pitter on the wood floor, and his voice getting louder. “Mommy, can I have a snack?”

“You want a snack?” Tia waits until he is in the closet to speak.

“Yes please!” He bashfully smiles.

“Okay.”

This time Auston let her go, he had to. He took a minute to compose himself as best he could, and when he finally emerged the kitchen was quiet. Taylour was sitting on a barstool, shoveling yogurt into his mouth and Tia had her back to him. She was gripping the counter tight, and her feet looked tethered to the floor.

Auston carded his hand through Taylour’s hair as he walked by, earning a muffled giggle. Then he walked over to Tia and found her biting on her thumb nail. Her face was white, but she is deep in thought.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

He sweeps he hair back behind her shoulder, providing him a better view of her face. She jumps at the contact.

“Nothing.” She whispers out, barely able to think straight. 

“You don’t kiss me like that and not talk about it.”

While it was unexpected and left him confused, it was the kind of kiss Auston could have gotten lost in. Her lips were soft yet warm and the sweet moan she let out almost caused his heart to explode. He could have spent hours exploring her, letting them fuse together. It reminded him of the kiss she surprised him with on their first date, the kind of kiss that used to keep him up at night. Unfortunately, over the last year it’s been the kind of kiss that has accompanied pain.

“I said it was a mistake,” she practically hisses.

“Tia.”

Auston grabs her by the shoulders and spins her around. She says nothing.

“Whether you want to or not, we are talking about this.”

She says nothing.

“Tia Grace Adams!” He finally speaks with authority, so much so it surprises them both.

“I like you okay!” The words come out before she has a chance to stop them. Hot embarrassment floods her face, only getting worse when his shoulders fall and eyes flutter closed. She wishes she said anything but that; surely she could have made up an excuse if she tried.

“You like me?”

Tia just nods.

She spent days trying to convince herself didn’t have feelings for him. And for a moment she believed it, then she made her first sale, he was the first person she told. The next night while out with her friends, Tia kept looking to the empty seat at the end of the table, she found herself wishing he was sitting in it. And later when Brody with his charming smile and charismatic personality approached Tia at the bar, she could only notice the ways he wasn’t Auston. Everything she did, grocery shopping, walking to get a coffee, she kept wanting him to be there, and every time something happened, no matter how big or small, she wanted to phone and tell him.

She hoped if she kept blowing him off he’d give up on the notion of taking her. He didn’t. He kept asking, anytime he saw her, and she couldn’t keep coming up with reasons to say no. Being around him was suffocating, but in the best way possible.

It took her a little bit, but she finally admitted to Heidi she had feelings for Auston. Heidi just smiled, in a way that said she already knew that but was happy Tia came to that conclusion. They spent the next few sessions talking about that and what Tia wanted. Now that she had admitted her feelings it was easy, she wanted Auston.

“You like me.” Auston repeats after a shaky breath. He takes another and then another, then pushes all the air out of his lungs and runs a hand down his face. Stroking over the stubble on his chiseled jaw, he breathes deeply again.

“Yeah.”

“You like me.” 

He blinks in disbelief.  

She nods. 

Auston doesn’t know why he is so dumbfounded by Tia’s admission. He held out hope for months she would tell him this exact thing, but as time wore on, he accepted this wouldn’t be the case. This shouldn’t be happening. 

“You like me.” 

“Can you say something, anything other than that,” she pleads. 

“I just…I don’t know what else to say,” he answers dejectedly, making her heart sink. “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Sorry for kissing you out of the blue –“ 

“I handled that better than this,” he scoffs.

“Daddy.” Taylour tugs at the hem of his shirt and looks up at him with beady brown eyes. “You play with me now?”

Auston looks down at Taylour and nods. “Yeah. That I can do.”

**

Tia had no idea what to do once Auston walked into the living room with Taylour. She didn’t want to talk, he begged her to only to repeat the same thing over and over then walk away. He sat on the floor and accepted the Skye figurine Taylour handed him. He put her at the top of the tower and sent her down the zipline. He pressed buttons and even laughed at some of the things Taylour said, he seemingly forgot about everything that transpired between them.

He didn’t.

He couldn’t.

It was all he could think about.

Taylour created some wild fictional story, a mystery they needed to solve. He would move the cars back and forth, give Auston instructions and laugh. Auston pressed the buttons to turn on the sound effects, he’d move Skye from point A to point B and smile whenever Taylour glanced his way. But he could not do anything else.

At some point a ministick was shoved in his hand, it took the ball hitting Auston’s ankle three times before he made an attempt to join in. Even then the ball would bounce over his stick or roll by because he just could not focus on it. His mind was caught on a loop, replaying Tia saying, ‘I like you’ and him…saying nothing.

Tia hoped that because her heart had been yanked from her chest, the rest of the day would have been blur. She felt it all.

Heidi tried to prepare Tia for the possibility Auston wouldn’t feel the same way, but Tia never considered that a possibility. In her mind, there was no way he didn’t. If she ignored the late-night FaceTime’s when Taylour is asleep, the kisses they shared, the way he looked at her and the fact he repeatedly told her that he loved her (never that he was in love with her, but Tia could read between the lines) there was still Fred. Every time he has seen her in the last three months, he has made a point of calling her out for having feelings for Auston. If Auston didn’t feel that way about her, why did his best friend care so much?

She played this situation out a hundred times and not once did it end this way. Every single time he kissed her back, said he had been waiting to hear her say that, and their clothes on a bedroom floor.

The door was barely closed before the phone was in her hand. It took everything for her to not fall apart sitting on a barstool in her ex-boyfriend’s kitchen, she couldn’t take anymore.

“Yeah.” Abby huffs into the phone after seven rings. Tia didn’t expect her to answer, they haven’t spoke in weeks. If the situation were reversed Tia wouldn’t answer, but she always let her ego get in the way.

“I kissed him Abs, I just...I kissed him.” Tia fumbles out, frantically pacing around the mess of clothes in Auston’s room.

“You kissed him?” The sound of running water stops on the other end, then wood scrapes as Abby sits down to focus.

“Yeah.” Tia admits. 

“That’s amazing Tia, I’m so hap –“ Her friend’s voice softens, Tia can feel the warm smile which only makes this worse.

“He stopped…he pulled away…” Tia’s voice trembles.

“What? Why did he do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“What happened?” Abby asks sternly.

“I kissed him, and he kissed me back. Then he just stopped. He seemed confused when I said I liked him, like I suddenly had two heads.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Abby laughs. “Why would he be confused when you say you like him but proceed to kiss you?”

“I told him after the kiss.”

“Tia,” Abby groans and lets her head fall. “What did you do?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Tia’s voice snaps. Warm tears well in her eyes and as she lets out a shaky exhale they begin to fall. Abby doesn’t say anything, she just listens to Tia cry through the speaker. Five minutes later, when she has a sliver of composure Tia starts to tell Abby what happened.

“I’m proud of you,” Abby says after minutes of incoherent rambling when she can finally piece it together.

“I ruined everything,” Tia laughs through the pain.

Subconsciously, Tia brings her left hand up and bites at the hangnail on her thumb. She frantically blinks, hoping to rid the tears from her eyes.

“That’s not true, you just surprised him.”

“Gee, you don’t say?”

“How long did it take for you to get to that conclusion?”

“I told Heidi a couple weeks ago… but you know it’s been way longer than that.”

Abby laughs to herself, the closest she’s going to get to you were right.

“Mhm, and don’t you think Auston deserves more that five seconds to draw a conclusion?”

Tia sighs and falls back onto bed. Abby is right, of course she is. Tia allowed herself time to get to this point, and as much as it may hurt, shouldn’t she give Auston the same courtesy?

“What do I do now?”

“You need to talk to him and let him know this wasn’t an impulse. That you spent weeks processing your feelings, discussed it in therapy before doing anything. You tell him to take his time and that you aren’t expecting an answer right away.” Tia continues to nod through the speaker, if only she put her ego aside maybe this could have been avoided.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Tia shudders at the thought.

“There is nothing you can do.” Even though it’s not the answer Tia wants, Abby doesn’t sugar coat it. “If that’s how he feels, I help you pick up the pieces.”

Tia releases all the air in her lungs. She knows should have considered this from the beginning, but she knew if her mind was allowed to wander to the possibility, she never would have had the courage to tell him. Now all she can think is how arrogant and ignorant she was to have thought that way.

“Tia?”

“Yeah?”

“You have to stop hiding.”

Tia took a few more minutes to gather herself. She sat on the edge of the bed and thought about what Abby said, tried to remember what Heidi had told her – considering she spent the entire time Heidi talked thinking I won’t need this, it proved to be a little challenging.

With a deep breath to settle her heart, Tia reached for the handle. She thought the slight breeze from the door opening was going to knock the air from her lungs, but what did was Auston, standing inches away, about to open the door from the other side.

“Oh.” Tia gasps. “Sorry.” She shakes her head. “I’m just –“

Auston jumps, just as surprised to see Tia. He knew she ventured down the hall, but once again, he didn’t expect to find her in his room.

“Okay.”

Auston shuffles to the side to let her by. They don’t say anything. They don’t even look at the other. Auston’s brows are drawn together, and he has no colour left in his face, still in a state of shock over everything that has transpired over the last four hours. Tia can only wonder how long he stood at that door, and how much he heard.

**

Auston and Tia moved somewhat robotically after that. She had been gone so long Auston made lunch, she couldn’t eat. She took the plate and placed it in the fridge, then made herself small, curled into a corner of the couch.

Tia heard the shower start, then stop a few minutes later. She heard faint muttering as he maneuvered the various bins and piles trying to find something. She heard plastic scrape along the floor, banging and cursing as he stepped on something that shouldn’t be on the floor. He wasn’t putting anything back, he did not have the mental capacity to look at Ikea instructions, but he needed space to walk and space to sleep. He spent some time stacking all the pieces for the closet storage system together in a pile, so they were out of the way but wouldn’t get misplaced. He closed the Rubbermaid totes, stacked them and left a few pairs of shoes on top for easy access. He pushed everything into corners, against the wall, and threw piles of clothes that were left scattered around on top.

He found Tia’s bag, open, in his room. He left it where it was and set her pajamas on a beside table. He left her hairbrush and toothbrush in the bathroom, set the couple hair elastics he found in a pile. The more he moved around the more he realized this wasn’t an impulse. There were enough clothes in her bag to last almost a week, the three hair elastics and products in his shower indicated she had been there for a few days, not just in his apartment but in his room.

Hours went by and neither one had said anything. Tia knew she should be the first to speak. She wanted to tell him everything. She just sat on the couch, picturing his response.

I’m sorry Tia.

I don’t feel the same way.

This isn’t a good idea.

Too much has happened.

We’re better off as friends.

I’m seeing someone. She’s great, I think you’ll like her.

I’m sorry.

Her heart breaks as those words ring in her ears. She is dizzy. Tears burn her eyes, and she fights to keep them at bay.

Auston heard her sniffling. A lot. It took every ounce of strength to not scoop her up and hold her tight. The heavy silence and suffocating tension broke him, it shouldn’t be like this. They shouldn’t be like this.

After dinner (another meal Tia didn’t eat), Taylour wanted to watch a movie, and on went Toy Story 3. He smiled and laughed and after everything, would turn to one of them with wide eyes and a big grin asking, did you see that? Auston always answered, smiled and tried to sound enthused. Tia, she could barely acknowledge him.

It scared him to see her like this and he hoped it was temporary. He’s met this version of Tia before, but always hoped that’d be the last time. This version of Tia is reminiscent of the one who stopped caring and hadn’t showered for days, her hair was tangled, laundry and dishes were piling up and she didn’t even care. This is the Tia from right after the article came out, the Tia from September that tried to fight through an insurmountable amount of pain alone. The previous times he met this version he was partially to blame, this time it was all on him.

He did this to her.

He broke her.

The credits began to roll long after Taylour fell asleep. Trailers for similar movies appeared and they watched them all. Then the Disney home screen reappeared, and they sat, staring at it for what felt like hours (it was less than three minutes) before Auston slithered out from underneath and carried Taylour down the hall.

As if Tia’s anxiety wasn’t through the roof, that was the moment it all started to become too much. Her palms became clammy, and heartrate began to accelerate. No matter how hard she tried to focus on it, she couldn’t seem to catch her breath.

Up until this point there was a reason to not talk about it – Taylour. Now that he was asleep, there was no buffer, Tia couldn’t hide her crippling anxiety and fears, she couldn’t avoid the heartbreak anymore. He deserved honesty, but she didn’t think she could handle his. At least not right now.

“You like me?” Auston asks, taking a seat beside her. If Tia didn’t know better, she’d think that’s all he could say. 

“Yeah.” She replies, as if that’s all she can say.

Tia finally turns and looks at him, the first time in hours, and that’s when she realizes he looks like hell – heavy dark bags linger on his hollow cheeks, he twists the watch on his left wrist round and round. His nostrils flare and he chews on the inside of his cheek, a nervous tick.

“I’m sorry for kissing you, for just throwing this at you. I know it’s a lot.” As she turns to look at him her hand fans over his thigh ever so briefly. He flinches. It’s small, barely noticeable, but it’s there. Tia would have missed it if she hadn’t become an expert at reading him, something she wishes she wasn’t. “I’m sorry.” 

“How um…how…” Auston clears his throat and lets his shoulders drop. His eyes are trained ahead, he tries to think of how best to approach this. He needs to be delicate, tug at the string until it slowly unravels. “Are you still taking your meds?” 

Neither delicate nor slow. 

“Every day.” Tia nods. She wishes that wasn’t his first response, to assume her mental health had collapsed. “Heidi actually thinks we can start cutting my dose back soon.” 

“That’s good,” his response is barely a whisper. 

“She’s been telling me to do this for a few weeks now. To tell you.” 

Auston’s eyes widen at her admission. “How long have you liked me?” 

“I only admitted it a couple weeks ago, but Heidi knew before that. She said it became obvious at Christmas.” 

“Christmas!” There is only shock in his voice. “That was two months ago!” 

“Yeah.” Tia nods.

“I feel like I’ve had a pretty good read on you, but you’ve had feelings for me for two months and I didn’t know!” 

“Apparently,” Tia nods again. “I only admitted it a couple weeks ago though.”

“But do you think she’s right? Have you been feeling this way for over two months?”

According to Heidi, Tia has felt this way since before Halloween but there were more pressing issues to focus on. Heidi knew that Tia would only admit her feelings for Auston when she was mentally and emotionally ready to take that step. which is why she left it well enough alone. Maybe there would have come a time where Heidi prompted the discussion, but Tia got there first.

Tia’s face scrunches up in confusion. Halloween, Christmas or two weeks ago, what difference does it make? How is this what he is fixated on?

“Yes.”

Auston flies off the couch before Tia can even react and starts to walk quickly, back and forth, around the living room. He paces, and he paces, and he paces.

His skin flushes and he scrapes a hand through his hair, then along his jaw, and over the back of his neck. He speaks, quietly, incoherently, to himself. He paces, and he paces, and he paces, stumbling over the toys that litter the living room.

Her eyes water and a heavy ball forms in her throat. She lets out a soft sniffle and water droplets begin to stain her sweater. She watches him. She waits.

She doesn’t know for what or how long it will take, but he’ll figure it out. It took him a month to visit after he found out about Taylour, almost another month to decide to be a part of Taylour’s life. She hopes it isn’t as long for him to process this, but she knows that eventually he’ll find what he’s looking for.

“What were you doing in my room?” He comes to a complete stop; his eyes are white with panic. “In my closet?”

“I thought that if we did this,” she points between them, “I would leave some stuff here. A couple pairs of jeans, some shoes. A sweater or two. I was just trying to make space, one thing led to another, and I was building shelves. I don’t know.”

Tia stands up and sniffs, no longer trying to hide the fact that she’s crying. She thought she had learned to accept heartache; she never realized the hardest part would be having to mourn someone who was still in her life. “I’m going to bed. Can you watch him while I’m at therapy tomorrow?” Her voice cracks and Auston just nods in response. “I really am sorry Auston.” She only speaks once she’s almost out of the room, away from him. “I should have done this differently; I was so sure you were going to say yes.”

“I never said no.” Auston whispers, but she’s long gone.

Taglist: If you are in this list you have expressed interest in the series (either through likes/reblogs or by asking). If it’s crossed out your tag didn’t work. If you would like to be removed or added to the list send me an ask:

@youtxbemusic @nicoleloveshockey @emsully2002 @hockeypuckspottspot @ashleymarine @albal321 @b34ut1fulb4st4rds @biznastysloneshift12 @burkylover @c-tangerine @canadian-girl87 @crazzyfann @dana-hqy @delighttfulll @evawest5 @every-beautifulthing-thereis @greendragonzz @heatherawoowoo @hockeybabe87 @hockeyinaussie @hockeyisit @hockeypuckedmeup @je-ne-regrette-rien @jakekisska @partypoison00 @princesscameston @puccbunni @queenmarvel21 @sixmapleleafs @starswin @trashforbarzal @0kikina0 @1-fuzzy-squirrels @janeydeaux @stuff4me2do @callsign-denmark @monnbc @simpgirl-lat @huneyjojo221 @idfan21 @elly-dx @samanthasgone @holyalfalfasprout @lwstuff

[teekays]

Davo for the character ask thing please!

this one took me so long because i have THINGS to SAY. i have cried in an airport over connor mcdavid. lets begin

First impression

i will be so real when i first got into hockey i totally fell for the like... this guy is the BEST agenda. mostly because i think i noticed that the praise he got was SO strong and i wanted to know what made him so good as opposed to other guys but i also noticed he got a lot of hate for being boring and i was like... they're all boring. why do we hate him for being boring specifically? and that led me on a quest to tease out The Connor Mcdavid Story

Impression now

i'm a mcdefender sorry. i know!! he's the most interesting guy in the world actually. like he IS boring but that is so clearly a purposeful obfuscation of whatever else he's got going on there that he developed because of course you're not going to just have your heart out there in the open as a first overall who's been hyped up for years as the Next One placed on a flop team in a flop city... it's also interesting to have seen that kind of relax a little bit in recent years and i think that relaxing is directly parallel to him becoming a little less like. black and white in his thinking which he very much was for a long time. like he's someone with a very strong sense of right and wrong and very strong ideas about How Things Should Be Done and as that has loosened up (because that's not conducive to like, being alive yknow) and as he's gotten more secure in his position he's gotten a little more willing to put himself out there which is fun. the morals thing does come out sometimes tho in that he will speak up if he feels like he needs to in the name of fairness. also i find his like, earnestness and the ways he's different than the nepo babies of the hockey world to be deeply charming even when they suck. like he's a shill grinding for his money but he's honest about it and i have to respect it. make your terrible millions and have a zero tolerance policy for being irreverent and Too Cool for the media while doing it. go white boy go

Favorite moment

sitting on mitch's lap in the everglades was a foundational babygirlism but also. right after the draft i don't remember who it was but little baby connor freshly in that oilers jersey was like "why are you ripping him to shreds rn he literally just got drafted" it makes my heart break into a million pieces i feel like when spongebob lost gary. because that's sooo... it's not him anymore really. but it will always be him and who he was.

Idea for a story

my sick and twisted mind has been percolating Mccareer ending injury for so long because i would like to see him freed from the shackles of hockey and having to build a life outside of what that means to him. who is connor mcdavid? find out next week when he escapes to a beach for a week and hates it

Unpopular opinion

say it with me now. estrogen could fix him! but also once again i think he is much less miserable than people want to think and if he is then it's justified. he lives in edmonton. you'd be sad too. also i covered this but he's actually a little freak and not boring at all if you know how to look at him!!!

Favorite relationship

i'm a mcstrome warrior til i die hashtag Your dead best friend is walking up the stairs hashtag I ain't a kid no more we'll never be those kids again. that being said i think also him and leon should get married. and another thing this may be also an unpopular opinion BUT i am actually so obsessed w ambitious girlboss lauren kyle and the way she so clearly runs their whole lives and he's so deeply okay with that... i think a common hockey boy trait is kind of always wanting to be told what to do because that's what you've done your whole life but to see someone quietly own it that way is so fun to me. i think she should lean into it and be like the tweet that's like "if two guys were in love with me i would manipulate them into doing gay shit together"/"if i had two boyfriends i'd dress them up like twins" with connor and leon and like leon is there for connor's benefit but she makes him think it's her idea so as not to upset the delicate balance. yknow?

Favorite headcanon

this is also from what we've seen mostly based in fact but he's absolutely dogshit at other sports. like. some guys are athletes and other guys are hockey players and he is absolutely a hockey player to his core. hilarious

[swissboyhisch]

How Karate Shaped Me Into Who I Am Today (Connor McDavid x Reader Blog Post)

Karate; A martial art that works around the concept of taking down your opponent with one strike. It was the sport I took up when I was only six after my father had taken me to his friend's dojo to have a look. It was thanks to my father I started the journey to where I am today, a four-time world champion in both of my events with my eyes set on Tokoyo 2020.

When I was 6, I was a quiet girl who kept to myself and my two friends, Connor and (Y/b/f/n). I had few friends and struggled to make more at school. That was until about six months after I had enrolled in karate. Karate boosted my confidence in myself and helped me make many friends. Essentially, they became more like another family to me. Similar to how Connor considers the Oilers as his family. 

It wasn't until I started competing that I truly began to understand why I was so in love with the sport. The sense of family within the team really escalates once you begin to compete. But what I fell in love with was the fast pace of the day or weekend. From the early starts to make sure you're there for the bow in, to the grueling kumite fights. Depending on which events I am in, affects how my day will be.  I could start my day with some judging or coaching; other days, my event may be first on the mat. I could spend the whole day judging (minus my events).

With each competition, I became more confident in myself and my abilities. I started to open up more to other people. Because of this, I had made friends with other karatekas from other provinces and countries. With each new friend, I was becoming more outspoken and extroverted. 

It wasn't until I was 12 and represented Canada for the first time that most people realised how much I had grown. I went around between my events and talked to everyone on my team. Once I had spoken to everyone, I moved on to other national teams. Starting with the USA, of course, I often moved onto the Australian and New Zealand teams next. Some of these people I still keep in contact with to this very day.

These are my friends from the French national team that I made a few years ago when I was 15. This photo was taken last year at the world championships. I love seeing all my friends from different countries. It's like a competition between the competitors to take photos with as many teams as you can. 

Honestly, without karate, I don't know what I'd be doing. I train every day, dedicating my life to becoming the best athlete I can (like many other professionals). I'm so excited for the next coming years, especially with the Olympics which includes karate for the first time. I have been waiting for years for this, and I'm excited about the outcome.

TAG LIST:

@penny4yourthoughts @mp0625 @hischierhaze

@dinonuggetsthings @francesfarhadi

[dubersbutt]

Take a Bow (4) - Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,

Warnings: Babies, anxiety/feelings of heightened anxiety, smut

It’s not that Connor hates kids. They just make him uncomfortable.

Like when his aunt had a baby when he was 13 his mom asked if Connor wanted to hold him. Connor was fine when his mom gently placed the baby in his arms. Up until his mom told her to be super careful with his head or else he could snap his neck and kill him. Or if Connor accidently pressed his soft spot it could severely detriment his brain development. It was too much responsibility.

At least that’s what he used to think.

He fell in love with Emilia the minute you walked through the front door with her in the baby carrier. The dogs were excited by the tiny squirming arms inside the carrier, he had to hold Lenny back so he didn’t crush her.

“This is going to sound super cliche,” Connor says as he coos into the carrier where Emilia is trying to open her tiny eyes, “but she is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.”

“She’s a lot cuter now that her head is a normal shape,” you joke, munching on a cookie Connor had set out for you.

“Can you stop making fun of our daughter’s cone head?” Leon rolls his eyes.

“You didn’t see it, it was terrifying.”

(Connor googles a picture of it later. Babies are fucking weird.)

He helps you up the stairs to the waiting cup of tea on the mug warmer in your bedroom. He lets you get settled, handing you the TV remote and giving you a kiss on the forehead before going back downstairs to meet his daughter (step-daughter? Connor didn’t really know).

“Can I hold her?” Connor asks when he finds Leon and Emilia in the living room.

“What happened to the three month rule?” He raises an amused eyebrow.

Connor had created it after the incident. He didn’t hold a baby that was younger than 3 months.

“I’m feeling brave.”

Leon scooches over so Connor has room to sit comfortably. Leon gently places Emilia in his arms, and gives Connor a pillow to prop his arm on. Emilia’s blinks at him before squirming and stretching her little arms over her head. Connor feels all warm and fuzzy in his chest.

“Hello, Emilia,” he says, with a smile on his face, “I’m your other dad.”

~~~

Connor’s not inherently a jealous person.

Or at least he thought he was. But ever since Emilia came home he’s been feeling it. He loves Emilia, don’t get him wrong. Well, actually, he should backpedal for a second.

Connor is still annoyed at Leon.

He knows he should probably bring this up (because look what happened last time) but he hasn’t because Leon was trying to make things right with you. He obviously was trying with Connor as well, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was an afterthought. Some days were better than others, but everytime Connor thought about how he woke up and couldn’t find Leon in the penthouse he felt like puking.

Emilia eases the pain. He truly does love her like his own. The only time he uses the “she’s your kid” card is when it's 2 am and he’s too tired to get up. But he rarely even does that because Connor’s always been the heaviest sleeper out of the three of you. But other than that, he volunteers for bathtime, plays with her while you’re in the shower, he doesn’t even hate changing diapers that much.The puppies love her too, they’ve transitioned from napping on the dog beds in the living room to the spot on the couch closest to the bassinet to keep an eye on them. He regularly has to stop Lenny from trying to jump in and crush Emilia.

Back to Leon (Connor tends to get side tracked when talking about Emilia). Connor’s still annoyed and he’s been working up to talking about it. But it never seems like a good time. First you were pregnant, and Connor didn’t want to upset either of you. Then it was playoffs and Connor didn’t have any time to think about anything else. Then they got swept and Connor did nothing but eat ice cream for a week like he just had his first heartbreak. And after that…well, he just hates confrontation.

He keeps telling himself that he’ll get around to it, that he just wants to gather his thoughts but he knows he’s stalling at this point. Mostly because -

“So did you do what we talked about last session?” Sophie, his therapist, asks him at the beginning of his appointment.

-his therapist calls him on his bulshit. And he realizes that’s the whole reason he pays her, but it’s still rude.

“About that…” Connor trails off.

She gives him an amused smile, “Connor, you know I don’t like telling you what to do but I strongly suggest you talk to Leon.”

“Sophie, my girlfriend gave birth, we started playoffs and got swept all in the last two weeks,” he says with an exasperated sigh, “I deserve a little time for myself. Isn’t that what you told me last week?”

“I was getting to that,” she says.

Connor almost didn’t show up to his first session. He spent the whole ride over that he his therapist would be a quiet homophobe and who’d sell his story to the presses and ruin his life.

But then he went in and saw the framed photo of Sophie and her wife and their twins. He let out a sigh of relief and felt more comfortable telling her about his life. She didn’t even really watch hockey and she told him that he thought he was a “good player” for his age. Connor always has to stop himself from laughing whenever she tries to compliment his playing style. She’s adorable.

“And what about  (Y?N)? Have you thought about what you were going to say to her?”

He knows. He just doesn’t know if you’ll want the same thing.

“I have, a little bit.”

“And would you like to share what you’ve been thinking about?”

“I-uh,” he swallows, “I want another baby?”

“Is that a question?”

“I don’t think so.”

Sophie sends him home with the same homework he had last week: try to slowly figure out what he wants to say when he’s eventually ready to have a talk.

When he comes home, Leon’s standing in the kitchen by Emillia’s bottle warmer. He looks stupid hot holding a baby and Connor’s only mildly annotated about it.

“Hey,” he flashes Connor a bright smile when he notices Connor’s presence, “Can you hold her while I make her a bottle?”

“Sure,” He takes Emilia from Leon before sliding the dimmer down on the light switch. Her eyes slowly open in the dim light and her gumless smile warms Connor’s heart.

“Hello sweet girl,” he coos, watching as she somehow wiggles an arm loose from her blanket, “I love you. I hope you had a good morning.”

He doesn’t expect her to answer, obviously, but she does start to open and close her mouth, indicating she's hungry.

“Leo, you’re too slow,” he taunts playfully, watching as Leon carefully measures out the formula, “she’s starving over here.”

“I can only move so fast,” he laughs.

When Leon finally gets Emilia her bottle Connor relaxes into the dining room chair as she eats her lunch.

“How was therapy?”

Connor told you and Leon that he started going when he came home from his session. Connor didn’t divulge everything that happened in his sessions but it felt nice to have someone ask.

“It was good,” he says, leaning over and resting his head on Leon’s shoulder, “I only cried a little this time.”

Leon chuckles, “Does that mean therapy’s working?”

“Probably.”

~~~

Connor can’t help but laugh when he rewatches the interview of Leon talking about Emilia. He manages to somehow be adorable and sarcastic at the same time. You’re settled against his chest with your ipad resting on your lap and he can feel your giggles as Leon gives his short, glib answers to the journalists' annoying questions.

(Congratulations, she’s very cute.

“I know. She is my daughter after all.”

Your girlfriend’s not going to get mad about that comment?

“She’s gonna get mad if you keep asking questions about her newborn.”)

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen this yet,” Connor says as he runs his fingers through your hair.”

“Neither can I,” you giggle as Leon looks into the camera like he’s on the Office.

Leon rolls his eyes as he emerges from the bathroom, now freshly shaven.

“It’s not that funny,” he says.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Leo,” Connor says, gently hooking his fingers in Leon’s chain to pull him down for a kiss, “You’re very funny.”

“Why did you shave?” you say as Leon turns to give you a kiss, “Your beard looked so good.”

“It was also getting super scratchy,” Connor says.

Leon gets under the covers on Connor’s otherside, “Yeah Emilia’s been distracting me from the beard routine.”

You scoff, “the scratch is the best part, Con.”

“Tell that to the scratch marks on my ass,” Connor says without thinking, and then immediately blushes.

You groan, “Don’t talk about anything remotely sexy when my poor vagina is still healing from pushing out a whole watermelon.”

Leon laughs, “Don’t worry, baby, the beard will be back by the time you get your 6 week all clear.”

~~~

(5 weeks later - after your 6 week all appointment)

“Guess what bitches,” you shout as you enter the kitchen, “I can finally have sex again.”

“Mhm,” Leon hums, feigning disinterest, “And what would you like me to do about that?”

“You’re mean and not funny,” you say lightly hip-checking him, “Besides I have two boyfriends for a reason.”

“Yeah about that,” Connor stretches and yawns, “Emilia kept me up last night so I was gonna take a nap.”

You blink, “I will go to Whyte Av and find some rando to screw in a coat closet, don’t fucking test me.”

Leon grabs your hips and pulls you against his body so your back is flush against his chest before walking forward and pressing your hips into the kitchen counter.

“As if I could pass up the opportunity to fuck this sweet little pussy,” he grinds his hips, pushing your hips further into the counter.

“What have you been cleared for?”

“L-light, non-strenous sex.”

Connor laughs, “Boring, but better than nothing.”

“Davo, take her upstairs,” Leon commands so Connor scoops you up and carries you bridal style to the bedroom.

“Wait wait,” you say when they reach the top, “Where’s Emilia.”

“She’s napping in her crib,” Connor says as he drops you onto the bed, “Leo’s gonna check on her before he comes. So you can turn your brain off for a little bit.”

Connor doesn’t wait to hear your answer, just presses his lips to yours. He fels you moan against him. Connor’s hands slide under your shirt, slowly exposing skin. When he gets it over your head he trails his kisses down your body, unhooking your bra as he does. His kisses move in between your breasts to your belly.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs as he kisses your belly button, “you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”

He hooks his fingers on your shorts, pulling them down your legs. He settles himself on the bed as he spreads your legs to press kisses to your inner thigh.

“Perfect,” Connor says, lightly nipping at the sensitive skin.

The tiny hitch of your breath causes all of his blood to rush straight to his dick, but he can’t bring himself to care. He takes his time, warming you up with kisses to your inner thighs, gently scraping his teeth against the skin. He kisses your pussy before running his tongue through your folds. His tongue gently caresses your clit with his tongue. Your hand comes down in his hair when he sucks your clit into his mouth. Your hips start to move against his face, grinding down to give yourself more friction.

“So impatient,” he hums, fucking one finger in you.

“It’s been six whole weeks,” you say,  “I haven’t gone six weeks without sex since I was a virgin.”

Connor chuckles, “Easy baby, we’ll get there.”

~~~

Connor can’t help himself when he sees you changing Emilia’s onesie in her nursery. He walks up behind you, wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder.

“Good morning,” he says, planting a kiss on your cheek, “And good morning to the world’s most adorable baby.”

Emilia gurgles but doesn’t retort. Smh, someone needs to teach her how to be humble.

“Morning,” you reply, buttoning up her fresh onesie, “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” he responds with another kiss, “Except when you kicked me in my ribs.”

“I take offense to that,” you raise an eyebrow, “I am an angel in bed. And, yes, pun intended.”

Connor snorts, “We both know that's a lie.”

Both Connor and Leon have been victims of your aggressive sleeping style. One of these days he’s gonna tie all your limbs down, and not in a sexy way. But not in a murderous way either, let’s make that clear. In a Connor-wants-one-singular-night-to-not-get-punched-in-his-sleep way.

Oh god, his brain is rambling. Oh god, he does not want to do this.

“(Y/N),” he says before he can talk himself out of it, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

“About what?” you ask, holding Emilia close as you sit down in the rocking chair.

“I…” Connor has never been this sweaty in his life, “I want another baby.”

“Oh,” you say, indifferent, “Congratulations.”

His brow furrows, “what?”

“On growing a uterus,” you arch an eyebrow, “Because I sure as hell am not using mine again for like 3 years.”

Connor laughs, “I wasn’t saying right away. But, I just want to know if it’s something on the table.”

“I want another baby,” you say, “And as long as you’re willing to wait, I don’t see why it would be an issue.”

~~~

And Connor definitely feels lighter after his talk with you. And he even impresses Sophie by actually doing his homework for once:

“So did you talk to Leon yet?” She asks after he’s finished giving his rundown of his week.

“No,” he says sheepishly, “But I did talk to (Y/N) about having another baby.”

She has the professionalism to not look shocked, but Connor is getting a little better at reading her. Or at least he thinks he is. He still gets anxious whenever she writes things on her notepad, “and how did that go?”

“Honestly, it was better than I expected.”

“How so?”

He shrugs, “I guess I was just expecting the worst?”

“And why is that?”

He shrugs again, “Isn’t that something that you’re supposed to figure out when you psychoanalyze me at the beginning of every session?”

Sophie throws her head back in laughter, “You do know I can’t read your mind right.”

It sure feels like she can sometimes. Which is why he pays her but still, it’s rude. ~~~

Connor thought he was sweaty and anxious before talking to you. However, when it comes time to talk to Leon he also feels nauseous. Like, he might throw up in the kitchen sink again nauseously. But he’s been sitting on this for a few months now - but what if Leon hates him. What if he doesn't want to be with Connor anymore. What if he asks for a trade?

No, Connor’s spiraling. Leon’s a rational person; he's not gonna hate Connor for talking about his feelings, something Leon encourages because Connor tends to bottle things up until he explodes.

But what if-

No. No spiraling, yet.

“Leo,” Leon hums against Connors chest from his spot on the couch next to him, “You still awake?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly, “But I was thinking about going upstairs soon.”

Connor shuts the TV off, “Um, actually before that can we...talk?”

Leon sits up and stretches, “What about?”

Connor takes a deep breath, “I think - I think I’m mad at you?”

Leon looks a little confused, and Connor can’t say he blames him, “You think you’re mad at me?”

“I-yeah,” he takes another breath, “I know you’ve been trying really hard to reconcile with (Y/N), and that’s great, and I’m definitely not trying to say I take priority over her, but it kind of feels like you’ve put me on the backburner a bit.”

Leon nods, “How so?”

Connor shrugs, “I mean, when you came back and you apologized it was definitely pointed towards her. And it’s the little things, like you always make what (Y/N) wants for dinner and not me. It feels a little bit like there’s a hierarchy here.”

“Do you...feel this way with (Y/N) too?”

“A little bit,” he says, “But mostly with things concerning Emilia, so it’s not as big of an issue.”

Connor realized he feels a bit…scorned, for lack of a better word. Connor was with you first, and that’s not something he feels jealous about but now it’s all coming up. Connor never left you, Connor was the one who held back your hair and wiped your tears when Leon was MIA. Connor was there, Leon left.

...maybe he did need to talk to you some more.

~~~

Connor and Leon spend a long time talking on the couch before they join you in bed. Eventually, Leon puts his head in Connor’s lap as the conversation turns mundane and they just enjoy each other’s presence. It’s been a while since they’ve done that. They end the night with a little make out session that doesn’t lead anywhere more. It was nice.

The next morning Connor’s on baby duty. Not that he minds, it’s always nice to start his day with a smile from Emilia. He changes her diaper and puts a fresh sleeper on her, listening to the little baby noises she makes. When he’s finished he takes her downstairs to the kitchen where you and Leon are making breakfast.

“Good morning, babe,” Leon says when Connor turns the corner, “Do you want strawberries or blueberries on your french toast?”

Leon was making his favourite breakfast. Connor can’t stop the smile from spreading on his face.

“And how’s my favourite girl?” he asks, giving Emilia a little kiss on her forehead.

“A pooping machine,” Connor responds to her, and Emilia laughs at him.

“Did she just-?” you get from your spot on the barstool and run to Connor’s side.

“Her first laugh?” Connor says, “Yeah.”

He tickles her belly in an effort to get her to keep laughing, but she chooses that moment to be a stubborn newborn and frowns instead.

He looks at Leon, “She is absolutely your baby.”

“I smiled when I was a baby!”

“No, Leo he’s got a point,” you say in between funny faces, “your mom said she has one baby photo of you smiling because you would refuse to smile for the camera.”

“I was shy.”

“You’re a robot,” Connor says.

“Like you’re one to talk,” you scoff.

~~~

“Connor please,” you pant, “I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

Connor holds back a laugh, watching the sweat drip down your face, “I thought this is what you wanted?”

“Leo!,” you yell, catching his attention from across the room, “Tell Connor he’s being an ass.”

Leon does not hold back his laugh, “He’s got a point.”

“I can’t believe I’m getting bullied right now.”

Connor wraps his arms around you and pulls you close into his body, “It’s just some squats, baby, it’s not the end of the world.”

“It is when you keep adding weight!”

“Because you’re stronger.”

You just stare at him and, honestly, Connor feels a little scared.

“Tell you what,” he leans down so he can whisper in your ear, “If you make it through your sets, without complaining, Leo and I will take turns eating you out tears run down your pretty little face.”

“Promise?” you hold out your pinky.

Emilia’s being babysat by her grandparents so Connor feels no qualms when he links his pinky with yours, “Promise.”

“Promise what?” Leon pipes up from his place on the leg press.

“Connor offered up your body in exchange for squats,” you say, shouldering the bar once more.

“And what did Connor say I would do?”

“You’ll find out,” Connor says, waving a hand at Leon nonchalantly.

“I don’t even get to know how I’m being used as a bargaining chip?”

“Nope,” Connor says with a smile, popping the ‘p’.

~~~

Leon learns what the exact terms and conditions are of the agreement about an hour later. And, just like Connor expected, he does not complain.

He even has the audacity to wink at Connor as he’s tongue-deep in pussy. Ugh, he forgot what the butterflies in his stomach felt like when he’s not constantly annoyed with Leon. He can’t help himself, he gets up from where he was giving his jaw a break, and slides his fingers over Leon’s hole. Leon tenses up ever so slightly, he breaks the momentum he had on you, evident by how hard your ankles are digging into Leon’s shoulders.

“Don’t stop,” Connor grunts, slipping one digit past the rim, “You don’t cum until she does.”

He slides his finger all the way before uncapping the lube and lathering his fingers up and adding a second. Connor knows when he hits Leon’s prostate when He lets out a low groan into your cunt.

“Fuuuuuuck,” you whine, writhing against the sheets.

Leon pushes back on Connor’s fingers at the same time your hips start to grind down feverishly on Leon’s face.

“Make her cum, Leo,” Connor says, removing his fingers from Leon’s ass and teasing his hole once more.

Leon’s focus changes completely. His fingers dig into your hipbones, pulling you closer to him so he has a better angle. Your chest is rising and falling quickly, heaving off the bed when Leon finally sucks your clit. You cum with a shout, tumbling over the edge, pussy clenching around Leon’s tongue.

Connor wastes no time, grabbing Leon’s hips to steady him before spreading Leon's cheeks and swiping his tongue in long, broad strokes. Connor’s not the biggest fan of rimming, but Leon loves it. Leon groans as Connor teases him, starts to rut against the bed when Connor’s tongue dips into his hole, loses it when Connor starts to fuck him open with his tongue. He reaches over to jack Leon off, pumping him as he continues to take him apart. Leon goes limp beneath him, reduced to nothing but moans. Connor speeds up his ministries, revealing in the way Connor’s name falls weakly from Leon’s mouth. Leon bucks hard against the bed, cums with a shudder. Connor takes his hand off Leon's cock, and places it on his own but doesn’t quite relent on his tongue, working Leon through the aftershocks' pleasure. It doesn’t take very long for Connor to cum, finally letting up on Leon and effectively ruining his boxers.

“Aw Leo,” Connor says once he can catch his breath, “We have to watch the duvet cover now.”

~~~

“Where is my baby?” Connor teases playfully when you walk through the door, baby carrier in hand.

“Calm your tits,” you say, placing the carrier on the kitchen counter and allowing Connor to take her out, “She’s home, and just woke up from a nap.”

“I wish I took a nap today,” Connor says as he rocks Emilia in his arms. She gives Connor a toothless smile and Connor just wants to smoosh her.

“Has anyone ever told you, you look really good holding a baby?” Leon says, giving Connor a quick peck on the cheek.

“Good enough to have another baby?” Connor asks.

You roll your eyes, “Two years, Con.”

“I’m just teasing.”

And, yeah, Connor finally starts to feel like he’s home again.

[catzy88]

As a 90s kid, I kept coming back to a fic idea based on the 90s/00s teen movies where the popular guy starts dating the unpopular girl because of a bet. Naturally, the girl finds out about it at some point. Cue drama and angst, but the guy is remorseful and apologizes to the girl with a big gesture, like running after her to an airport just as she's about to take off. She, of course, forgives him and they kiss and live happily ever after.

Now, imagine this, but with McEichel and a lot more dark and angsty.

Psst. Here's a playlist of the songs I was listening to while writing this:

The Smashing Pumpkins - Never Let Me Down Again

The Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Parallel Universe

My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult - A Daisy Chain 4 Satan (Acid & Flowers Mix)

Oasis - Talk Tonight

Jack seduces Connor at the Combine and steals his first everything. (First everything except going first at the Draft.) Jack just wanted to see if he could do it, and because he was jealous of Connor getting drafted as the overall #1 draft pick. But for Connor it was real. He fell in love with Jack, hard. And when Jack suddenly, and cruelly, saying it was just a game, dumps Connor, he goes into a downward spiral.

Connor starts partying a lot, so much so that it starts affecting his hockey, too. The hockey world is shocked: The Next Next One, the Savior of Hockey isn't saving anyone, the least himself. Sex, drugs, and hockey, baby! Before Jack, Connor was a good Canadian boy, but after... After, he becomes a shameless slut, snorting coke at nightclubs, getting into bed (or any surface, really) with anyone willing. By the time the World Cup of Hockey rolls around, approximately one third of the NHL has f*cked Connor McDavid more than on the ice.

But Connor is still madly talented, so he's selected to team North America. And sure, Jack has been vaguely and uncomfortably aware of what has been going on with Connor. (The NHLers are a bunch of gossips.) But he hadn't imagined it would be this bad. He observes from the sidelines Connor's erratic behavior, but things don't come to a head until one night, when the Young Guns are celebrating a win at a club.

Connor had disappeared early on, but at some point in the evening Jack sees him near the bathrooms with some guy who is aggressively pushing Connor against the wall. The guy seems to be saying something into Connor's ear, and with a smirk he takes both of Connor's hands into his and pulls Connor into the men's bathroom with him.

At this point, Jack sees red. He's not even really sure why, because he doesn't care about Connor, but this is his team mate. If nothing else, he needs to make sure Connor doesn't do anything that compromises the team and their chance to win. So, he goes after Connor and the guy to the bathroom. What he sees there, makes him absolutely livid.

The guy has Connor bent over a sink, with Connor's pants halfway down, and the guy in process of getting his own pants undone. The thought that couldn't they have gotten at least to a stall where everyone wouldn't be able to see them, hysterically makes it's way to Jack's head. His feet move him without him even noticing, but in the next moment the guy is on the floor, holding his face where Jack had punched him.

Aside from getting the guy away from Connor, Jack decides to ignore him and turns to look at Connor. Connor who is staring at Jack with eyes blown wide and mouth open. His pupils are dilated and he's sweating, but he's still the most beautiful thing Jack has ever seen. And suddenly he doesn't remember why he ever left Connor behind.

And sometime after that, after they've gotten back to the hotel and Connor has sobered up, they have that much needed talk they should've had ages ago. It doesn't magically make everything okay, because Connor will still have to battle with addiction and Jack will have to earn Connor's trust, but it's a road they're willing to take. Together.

[draikaesehoch]

Hi xD so since I have no clue about ice hockey feel free to tell me all about your favourite team or hockey player? ♥️

Thank you for sending this again (and fu to tumblr for swallowing my earlier reply).

Since I don’t really have a favorite player, I will just share my opinion and thoughts on the Oilers 😅 keep in mind I am still relatively new to hockey, so this is just me babbling. I didn’t fact check any of the stuff, so some of it could be bs… and honestly this whole thing is just me venting about this incredible team that most people don’t really take notice of.

I present you the Oilers:

They are one of the seven Canadian teams in the NHL. Based in Edmonton, Alberta. Usually part of the pacific division, due to Covid, they will form an all Canadian division for the 2021 season (I am still in denial about that though, it's going to be a mess and someone will cry, probably me).

The Oilers are struggling to make it to the playoffs, despite their talented roster.

Their superstar is Connor McDavid (first overall pick in the 2015 draft), he’s arguably the best hockey player alive. His speed is unmatched (yeah Barzal won the fastest skater competition but we all know Connor is the fastest player, especially with a puck). They put a lot of faith in him to get the team to a regular spot in the playoffs. He’s obviously the captain.

(this gif doesn't even do him justice!!)

And then they have this German dude, Leon Draisaitl, he was drafted in 2014 (3rd overall) by the Oilers. He didn’t have the best start and was sent to the WHL, but soon proved his potential. He got called back for the 2015-16 season. Had an incredible season in 2016-17 (with the Oilers making it to the playoffs and ending an 11 year playoff drought). He’s been getting better ever since and was named this year’s MVP (2019-20). As well as receiving the Ted Lindsay Award and the Art Ross Trophy. +Deutschland’s Sportler des Jahres Award! Which in a football (/soccer) dominated country, is HUGE!!

He has a super cute dog named Bowie. Leon is from Köln and like most Germans, he’s a football fan. Thank god he’s a decent human being and supports his local football club (and not some club like Bayern).

May I present Bowie 🥺💕 (the K, dude we get it, you love your hometown 🙄)

Other notable guys are Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (also first overall draft pick), Darnell Nurse, Oscar Klefbom and Adam Larsson.... and Zack Kassian, he’s kind of crazy, not really a fan of him tbh (but that’s because he likes to beat up a guy from the Flames I am unfortunately quite fond of).

Okay tbh all of them are notable and amazing, this team is so great once you get to know them.

They have had like seven coaches in the last ten years, so it's safe to say they are still on their path of finding themselves. I'm not sure about Dave Tippett yet, but compared to his predecessors he’s going okay. We will ignore that they lost to the Hawks in the playoff’s qualifying round, because what the heck was that?! But that’s another thing, their leadership is still fairly young and especially Connor has to deal with a lot of pressure and expectation, they just lack experience but if they can keep the current team together, it wouldn’t surprise me if they win a cup in the future.

….

Sooo... Connor and Leon, they play the most beautiful hockey together, like it so beautiful to watch, I am not even kidding, their passing is incredible, THEY ALWAYS FIND EACH OTHER (they are probably hockey soumates or some shit). I could go on about this forever, every time I see them play together, I remember why I fell in love with hockey.

but yeah having two so skilled centers on the same line isn’t necessarily the most efficient combination, there’s only so much time they can be on the ice together and only so much goals they can score, so they try to split them up. Makes sense I guess, because why have your two best players on the same line, when you can have them on separate lines and still have them produce just as well.

We still get to see them play together on the power play (or in overtime) tho and thank god because with their skill and blind understanding, makes the Oilers' power play the best in the league.

What else is there 🤔

Ahh, they got Jesse Puljujärvi back, which hell yes, I am so happy about that! I mean look at that precious ray of sunshine!!

I am most excited about Tyson Barrie though, I think he can really bring something to them team, first and foremost experience and stability but hopefully some personality as well. The Oilers are, for the lack of better words, kind of closed off and boring? I don’t necessarily feel that way but people call them depressed and stuff. I would say, they are maybe a bit more private and potentially less glamorous. But then again, they are a Canadian team and the Canadian media can be quite harsh when it comes to hockey, so it would make sense for most of them to try to stay under the radar.

Have a gif of Tyson and Ralph (because who wouldn't want that 🥺)

THE BATTLE OF ALBERTA:

Was kind of dead for years, is coming back to live, it’s basically like the derby thing in football. The Calgary Flames and the Oilers are both from Alberta, so it’s a regional and divisional based rivalry but boy is it entertaining! To keep it short, they hate each other and there’s lots of fighting and bad blood.

I mean there are goalie fights and all 😳🙌🏻

TO SUMMARIZE MY MESSY THOUGHTS, I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR AND SO SHOULD YOU!!

Und danke dafür, dass Du mein Hockey stuff erträgst... Deine Asks und Kommentare sind immer so unglaublich lieb und ich bin so dankbar!!! 🥰💕

[csykora]

it’s been a lot of a week

1) Love ya Matty, going out on a career year before your wrists actually fell off like I expected, we’ll always remember this sexy photo I did not edit at all.

The bit where he told management and they told him “Please think about not doing it tho???” and he graciously left and then, what, came back a week later and told them, “Hi. So like I said, I still want to do it” brought me great joy.

2) Congratulations to assorted Draft children and Quinton Byfield, now the highest-drafted black player ever!

3) At the beginning of all this, yes, I did loudly ask, “Does Connor McDavid have to die or develop extensive neuropathy for the NHL to give a damn?” 

Yes, I do now feel sorry for putting that out there.

Two vague thoughts:

That information wasn’t leaked. The team shared it, which means McDavid told the team to share it (which I can’t imagine they were jazzed about). I appreciate that choice right now. I really do. No one should have to share medical information, but it does make a difference when someone in his position does. 

But I’m sick of the way information is being shared. “Tested positive”. Yes, it’s technically accurate, yes, it used to mean something, but the way hockey news has taken to using it is fucked. He “tested positive”...and is having “mild symptoms”? So you mean “he is sick.” Or you mean “he has coronavirus.” Those are more naturalistic, normal ways to use English words. (Including in medicine, where I know it seems like we use some wild English.) I get saying it in the news when there’s doubt, when it needs to be confirmed with secondary testing or they’re asymptomatic, but now we’re using it every single time. We know Blues players were sick enough to lose a lot of weight: that’s not just “tested positive”, that’s “sick”! “Tested positive and having symptoms” isn’t entirely wrong but it’s weird and it’s ubiquitous and when a weird thing becomes ubiquitous I worry that there’s a reason: it creates distance. “So-and-so tested positive” and “they are sick” or “they have a serious illness” don’t technically mean different things, but...I can’t pretend that they don’t make many readers feel different, or...they make space for hockey fans and apparently management who want to breeze by without believing that coronavirus makes people seriously sick. 

I do not like that. 

Anyway here’s McDavid kissing Pat Maroon’s dog because I just learned about that. Probs should not do that again for a while. 

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Baby McDavid

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Requested: Yes – Anonymous X2

Tagging: @aw-hawkeye @caswinchester2000

Fandom: NHL  

Relationship: Established; Connor McDavid x Pregnant!Reader

Summary: The Reader goes into labor with hers and Connor’s first child, when he’s away in Tampa for a game.

Word Count: 902

Warnings: Childbirth

Connor was awoken from his slumber by his phone going off. He groaned and heard Nuge in the other bed groan to and the ruffling of blankets and Connor assumed that he rolled over and covered his head with a pillow.

Connor grabbed his phone and he felt a bit of panic when he saw that it was you calling and that it was 3am.

“Are you okay?” Connor asked you, sitting up in his bed and kicking off the blankets so he could walk to the bathroom so he wouldn’t bother Nuge with being on the phone.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” you said, trying your hardest to keep the bit of panic out of your voice.

Connor ran his hand through his hair. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?”

“My water broke, Connor. I’m in labor.”

Connor felt like a bucket of ice water had been thrown over him and if he was tired before, he wasn’t anymore.

“Are you sure?” He asked you, pacing in the bathroom. Of course it would be his luck at he would be in Tampa, the furthest place from Edmonton when you went into labor.

You laughed. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure about that.” You took a deep breath. “My contractions are about twelve minutes apart and I would really like it if you didn’t miss the birth of our child.”

Connor nodded. “No, of course, I’m going to head to the airport and get on the first flight to Edmonton and I’ll call you when I know the departure time. Do you have someone there? Have you called someone?”

“My mom’s on her way over.” You replied. “I called her and then I called you.”

“That’s good. Text me when she gets there so I know you’re okay.”

You nodded. “Of course.”

The two of you fell into silence for a moment and you smiled, even though you knew Connor couldn’t see you. “Hey, Con?”

“Yeah?” He asked, his mind still racing over how he’s going to handle everything.

“We’re going to have a baby.” You whispered.

Connor smiled. “We’re going to have a baby.”

It was serval hours before the flight departed for Edmonton and it was a five hour flight and once he landed and got cell signal back, his phone lit up with text messages from your mom. He hurried to flag down a cab to head to the hospital before answering his text messages.

Conner: “Did she have the baby?”

Your mom: “No, not yet. She’s 9cm though so it’s going to happen soon.”

Connor: “I’m on my way to the hospital.”

Once at the hospital, he jumped out of the car and nearly forgot his suitcase. Once he had his suitcase, he hurried into the hospital and towards labor and delivery. He didn’t bother asking the receptionist for the room number since your mom had texted it to him earlier.

“I’m here, I’m here.” He said as he walked into the room, pushing his bag into the corner before walking over to you, taking your hand into his.

“You are so glad you made it because if you didn’t, I would have kill you.” You told him.

Connor gave you a smile. “I know, but I made it. I’m here. I’m here and we’re going to have a baby.”

When it came time to push, Connor got in behind you and he helped the doctor count for your pushes and whispered reassuring and motivating words in your ear between contractions.

And you pushed and you pushed and you pushed.

It was agony, true agony.

The pain was unlike anything you had ever experienced.

Connor repeated to you in soothing and motivational tones how great you were doing and how excited he was to meet the baby.

And finally, your baby was here. You felt the infant leave your body and you and Connor heard the baby’s cry.

“It’s a boy!” The doctor called and then clamped the cord and looked up at Connor. “Do you want to cut the cord?”

Connor nodded and slowly and carefully got out from behind you so that he could cut the cord. If he was being honest, the whole thing was very gross, but at the same time it was wonderful.

The baby was then passed to a nurse who cleared its airway and wiped it off a little before she wrapped the baby in a blanket and passed the child to you.

Connor followed the baby and sat down on the side of your bed to look down at you and the baby. You cradled the baby on your chest and just looked down into the baby’s beautiful eyes, they looked just like Connor’s, if they stayed that colour. Connor, like you, was captivated by your newborn.

He reached out with shaking hands to cup your hand, which was supporting the infant. You felt him release a shaky breath.

“Hello.” Connor whispered to the child and brought his pointer finger out to stroke the baby’s cheek.

“Do you want to hold him?” You asked Connor and he nodded.

You gently passed the baby to Connor, who cradled the small infant in his arms. “I’m your daddy.”

You leaned over towards him so that you could rest on his shoulder. “I love you so much. You did a great job cooking this guy up.” He said and the kissed the top of your head.

[judefan833-blog]

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[drabblemesilly]

Dylan Larkin #6.1

Requested by Anon:  Could you write one (Carter hart, Connor McDavid, Mitch, auston, eichs, Larkin or Nate Bastian) along the lines of: you're really shy and good friends with (player of choice) and they're super close and protective/supportive of you (like they know well so they'll like order stuff for you so you don't have to and they can read you really well) and they've kinda helped you become way less shy. But then one of their teammates makes a joke about like when will you guys date And while mentally panicking you do the whole "what no! We're best friends." And then afterward he's like really weird because he kinda just realised that he doesn't like being just your best friend and then he's really grumpy and like idk almost gets in a fight and is really reckless and then afterwards while you're waiting (because he's taking agessss) you get chatting to some guy and he's furious (idk if this is going to be wayyy to long omg) but he doesn't say anything and just doesn't  Just doesn't speak to you for ages and you're so furious so you don't speak to him and idk you can finish it (IM SORRY ITS SO LONG but I'm fuelled by angst).

*YOU GUYS! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! This is a loooong request and so a very looong fic. You know I love me some angsty, Larks multi-parters. This is the first of 3, maybe 4, chapters. I feel so good about this and I hope you do too. Enjoy!*

Word count: 1,316

Pro tip: never kick a door open when you weigh next to nothing, no matter how angry or agitated you are. Really, you’ve tried kicking down Dylan Larkin’s front door twice now and the only thing it’s gotten you is a sore foot and a wounded pride. Damn it, Dylan. Why can’t anything just go the way they’re supposed to?

Why can’t he just answer your calls or respond to your messages? Fuck, he can’t even be bothered to show up to your Sunday brunch place – the one you’ve always gone to on Sundays if he’s in town and has the time. He can’t even make up excuses because they only had home games this week.

Toning down your annoyance, you gave the door another wild knock, “I know you’re in there,” you leaned into the banister, “Dylan! I can hear Mario Kart, bitch.”

You looked around the porch to look for a comfortable place to sit in, determined to stay here until Dylan opens the door and talks to you. At this rate, you’ll have to sneak into their dressing room at the arena to see him. Whatever in the world did you do?

Okay, so the last time you saw him was at Anthony Mantha’s apartment. That was Friday night and you were there to celebrate because he was finally going to be reinstated. You had fun, some booze… maybe a little too much booze, if you are being honest, and then Dylan brought you home. Like usual.

He hasn’t talked to you since. Which is very much not like the usual.

Taking out your phone, you opened your messages and stopped until you landed on his last message, ‘I’m outside,’ was what he texted you that Friday night, telling you that he was ready to go home and that you should be too.

It’s been almost two weeks since then and this radio silence thing has got to stop, especially after his fourth fight in as many games last night. Dylan Larkin fighting: out of the ordinary but always welcomed. Dylan Larkin fighting for four games in a row: uh-oh.

Why is he so freaking angry?

Your ears perked when you heard some sort of shuffling inside. FINA-FUCKING-LY.

Except your heart deflated when the door opened and Luke Glendening appeared.

“You look like you need another layer on you,” he said as a way of saying hello, a smile playing on his face.

“If that’s your way of telling me I should leave, better luck next time brother,” you replied, sliding your phone back into your pocket and crossing your arms on your chest, “I’m not leaving until whatever’s up Dylan’s ass crawls out of it.”

For someone so big and bulky, Luke didn’t make any sort of sound as he gingerly closed the door and leaned against it, “he’s really not feeling you right now, bud,” he shook his head, “I don’t know why.”

“You and me both,” you sighed, “he hasn’t talked to me in two weeks,” you rubbed your face, “I just want him to tell me what I did.”

Straightening, Luke dangled his house keys in front of you, “I’m gonna go grab something to eat,” he said, walking down the front porch and into the driveway.

You watched him stop and turn back to face you, “tell him you found these in the porch,” he winked before tossing his keys towards you, almost hitting you on the head, “blow him or something, kid,” he laughed, “he needs to let all those steam out.”

For the record, Dylan Larkin is your best friend and nothing more. It doesn’t look it now because he’s being a jerk but he was the one who helped you overcome your stutter back in 4th grade. When he was confused whether he should go the collegiate way or give up his NCAA eligibility and go to the major juniors, you stayed up all night with him listing the pros and cons. He was there, front and center, when you graduated and you cheered the loudest when he got drafted.

There’s no Dylan Larkin without you and no you without him. It’s just the way it is.

Except apparently, there is a Dylan Larkin without you and this particular Dylan… he’s not all that amazing. He’s angry and picks fights with men like Zdeno Chara and Tom Wilson.

You let yourself in the house and followed the sound of something cooking, finding Dylan chopping some nuts in the kitchen. He’s sporting a pretty good shiner, courtesy of his last conquest: Brayden Point.

Leaning against the archway leading to the kitchen, you nodded at his blackeye, “nice shiner you got there, bud,” you casually commented, trying so hard to not yell at him.

Aaaaand nothing. He didn’t say anything, like you weren’t even there.

Hopping on the bar stool just a few feet away from him, you picked a grape and started eating, “okay,” you shrugged, “you can ignore me but that’s not gonna get you anywhere.”

Still nothing. Woah, he’s good at this silent treatment thing.

“Really?” you shook your head, picking another grape, “you’re just gonna ignore me like you’ve been doing the last few weeks?”

Taking out a book from your bag, you wiggled in your seat, “then I’m just gonna stay here and make myself comfortable.”

“Suit yourself,” he muttered, turning around to toss the nuts into the pan.

You almost fell off the stool from sheer happiness. Holy Lord, he talks.

“’Kay,” you nonchalantly turned the page of your book, not really reading. Instead, you’re watching him move around the kitchen, shoulders so tight that he looked like he needed some deep tissue massage. His cheeks were tomato-red and the bruise around his eye looked as angry as he did.

Dylan Larkin, for all intents and purposes, looks like he is not in the mood to talk to you.

“Seriously, Dyl,” you sighed, closing the book before turning to him, “what’s up?”

“Nothing,” he said, avoiding eye contact, “you should go.”

“Oh,” you huffed, chuckling a little, “no one’s leaving until you untwist your panties, boo.”

That was the worst thing you could have said. Heh.

Rolling his eyes, Dylan shoved on hand into his curls and let out a frustrated sigh, eyes suddenly piercing you in place, “what do you want?” he spat.

“I just want to know why you’re ignoring me,” for all your fake bravado and macho stuff, you really can’t get mad at Dylan. He’s too important in your life that you just can’t risk it.

“We’re best friends,” he sounded so angry that you just sat there dumbfounded. His words were a conflict to his tone so you really don’t know how to respond to that.

“Okay?” you urged.

“You said,” he let out angrily, “we’re best friends.”

“We are best friends,” you argued, “we’ve been best friends for more than half our lives, Deedee,” when in doubt, use the childhood nickname he was never really fond of.

“You told the rookie that we were best friends,” he repeated, probably referring to Michael Rasmussen, who you were talking to at the party.

Now he just sounds like a petulant child, “we ARE best friends, what is wrong with you?” you finally stepped off the stool so you can poke his chest, “why are you so angry at me for telling people that you’re my best friend, that’s the truth. You’re my best friend, right?”

“I am,” he answered back, “and I’m not angry at you,” he said, eyes softening a little, “I’m angry at myself.”

“Okay now you just don’t make any sense.”

“You said we were best friends,” he said again, taking the plate he prepared, “just best friends,” he added so silently that you almost missed it.

Dylan gave you a lopsided smile, “think about that,” he shrugged, “you know where to find me.”

[ficclique]

In addition to our own personal top fics (which you can view here), we asked you all to send us your choices for your fics of the decade and why you loved them. We received so many wonderful submissions, and now want to share them with everybody! In an effort to not make this post too long we’ve edited down the comments that people left us, but everyone had some really lovely things to say, so if anything catches your eye here we really encourage you to take a look at the complete list of comments here.

Without further ado, please enjoy the top fics of the decade as chosen by you, our listeners: 

Submitted by: Cricket

Fic 1: pilgrimage by wolfsupremacist

Info: EXO RPF, Baekhyun/Sehun

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411497/chapters/43607615

Cricket’s comment: I can't get over all the building in this fic -- the world building, the character building, the relationship building. The main character’s development was like watching a child grow: it's hard to see it happening, but once you reflect on who he became versus who he was, it's so obvious how he changed.

Fic 2: the eye of providence by minhyukwithagun

Info: NCT RPF, Jaehyun/Taeyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981330

Cricket’s comment: I have genuinely never laughed so hard while reading a fic.There were so many little details that the author added that were unnecessary to the overall plot but just made the characters so much more real. You get to learn so much about everyone in such a (relatively) short amount of time.

Fic 3: so collect your scars and wear them well by addandsubtract

Info: Hockey RPF, Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075128

Cricket’s comment: I feel like this fic changed me as a writer. It touches on such a relatable subject: that feeling of being completely unsure of what you should do with your life when Plan A doesn't work out, and discovering who you are without the thing that you previously thought defined you.

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Submitted by: Claire

Fic 1: The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero by Ellarose C

Info: Hetalia, ?

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5819880/1/

Claire’s comment: This fic launched 3 of my high school friendships that continue to this day. It's cute and Hallmark levels of unrealistic, and I LOVE it. The overwhelming nostalgia and gratefulness I feel towards this fic (and all of Carrie's work, honestly) still blows me away.

Fic 2: Embers by Vathara

Info: Avatar: The Last Airbender, gen

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/

Claire’s comment: The best, wildest, most comprehensively worldbuilt ATLA fic I have ever read. Tea, dragons, realistic motivations, that ending... perfect. *chef kiss*

Fic 3: Of A Linear Circle (series) by flamethrower

Info: HP, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028

Claire’s comment: I linked the whole series because I simply cannot pick a favorite installment. OaLC focuses on fixing the glaring plot holes in the Wizarding education system, accurately depicting the Founders' Era thanks to copious research, and showing that no one is truly irredeemable (except Voldemort himself, who more than earns it).

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Submitted by: Threepwillow

Fic 1: All the Other Ghosts by rainjoys

Info: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Link: https://rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/146587.html

Threepwillow’s comment: All The Other Ghosts and its direct sequel, Grey, are some of the most incredibly original and simultaneously incredibly transformative works of fanfiction I have ever read. The way they masterfully twist elements of canon to fit into the lore of their AU is second only to the profound, revelatory character studies that they've executed. This shit is extraordinary.

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Submitted by: Segs

Fic 1: Hemostuck (series) by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite

Info: Homestuck, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8470

Seg’s comment: THE WORLDBUILDING. THE ARTWORK. THE NARRATIVE VOICE(S). THE INCREDIBLE GRASP ON CHARACTERIZATION. DID I MENTION THE WORLDBUILDING.

Fic 2: transistor by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760093/chapters/44503969

Seg’s comment: Rips my heart to shreds piece-by-piece and then gently puts it back together in the end. It's another put-these-characters-in-a-darker-setting sort of thing. It is brilliant and beautiful and I love it dearly.

Fic 3: any sign of spring by bluecarrot

Info: Hamilton, Hamilton/Burr

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523227/chapters/17100376

Seg’s comment: This fic is so dang atmospheric. It feels very physical -- the temperature, the environment, the drawing. It's bittersweet, but ends on the sweet, and I think the sweetness is all the more emphasized for it. Rereading it feels like coming back to a familiar place.

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Submitted by: Ang

Fic 1: Anarchy In The U.K. by Yahtzee

Info: X-Men First Class, Erik/Charles

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673552/chapters/1232410

Ang’s comment: the writing of this one made it so easy to get completely lost in the au while still knowing the characters so well from the source material! super engaging, totally consumed my life for a week

Fic 2: blackjacks running down by back by dangerbears

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499474

Ang’s comment: this is like my comfort blanket fic! every time i reread it (even though i'm not in that fandom anymore), it's still just as funny and cute as it was the very first time i read it - again the au is so easily believable because the characterizations are so familiar.

Fic 3: this city bleeds its aching heart by renne

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829

Ang’s comment: unsurprisingly, it's another au that is so easy to fall into! this is another one that i've been consistently rereading since i first read it (in 2015, for this one) because it's my absolute favorite trope with a ship that i'm still very much into!

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Submitted by: Scout

Fic 1: she called it a void by vans88

Info: Star Wars, Finn/Poe/Rey

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493500

Scout’s comment: Short and powerful and essential to anyone's viewing of the new Star Wars trilogy. Seriously one of the most careful, tender, and graceful queer addendums to a piece of pop culture this decade.

Fic 2: The Love Song of The North American Douchebag by gyzym

Info: Star Trek RPF, Chris/Zach

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852395

Scout’s comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!

Fic 3: all this learning here is by you by decinq, nighimpossible

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105441

Scout’s comment: Revolutionized – and I would argue – drove the GROWTH AND SURVIVAL of hockey fandom. One of the best known works in the fandom, and a masterclass in how to build a set of characters that you're genuinely envious you don't get to see or know. Two incredible authors and a plethora of personality. Fun and sexy and lighthearted but poignant. Chef kiss.

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Submitted by: Em

Fic 1: the subtle science and exact art of chess-boxing, by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931885/chapters/44945971

Em’s comment: fishcola is definitely one of the top reasons i actually started reading/writing polygon rpf. this fic!!!!! i sWEAR its so /so/ good oh my GOSH. yes, full disclosure im fish's beta for chessboxing but also i am enthusiastic simply because it is a very beautiful and powerful narrative on trauma, healing, and how the people we choose to interact with affect our emotions.

Fic 2: the old men call me by my mother’s name by theviolonist

Info: HP, Hermione/Ron

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044467

Em’s comment: as a certified Trans(TM) im always pursuing and consuming trans content. the old men call me by my mother's name is an hp fic that i still cherish years after first reading it. trans!ron is a concept not often explored in hp fic, much less trans /girl/ ron. massive gender feels, folks.

Fic 3: national hot dad alliance is now calling… by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor

Info: Haikyuu! , various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683/chapters/13045579

Em’s comment: national hot dad alliance really is the perfect evolution of a groupchat fic. i laughed, i cried, i fell in love with the characters all over again as these captains from different teams bond over graduating. and also being Dads(TM). in some cases-- pining over their fellow volleyball players-- plus star wars, the x-files, and memes. overall its is very good and i will stan it eternally

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Submitted by: Staci

Fic 1: No Homo, by orphan account

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073

Staci’s comment: Literally my favorite AU ever written. The characterization is SO on point and it truly is a super fun read. It’s also a super long which helps with painting such a detailed picture of these two dummies who are-totally-just-bros-with-added-benefits. I’d recommend this to anyone, even if they’re unaware of Teen Wolf, but if you’re a Teen Wolf fan then it’s even better.

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Submitted by: Nadine

Fic 1: Too Long, Too Close (series) by callmejude

Info: MCU RPF, Chris/Sebastian

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/253528

Nadine’s comment: kink exploration and bdsm done well.... and so thoroughly. but there's more! theres FEELINGSSSSSS uhhhhhhh it made me CRY it's so good.

Fic 2: On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl

Info: HP, Harry/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879841

Nadine’s comment: I could've put a few other fics by this author because they write the best drarry but uhhhhh. I had to choose and it was either gonna be TURN or this one. Idk why but this one makes me so unbelievably emotional bc it was Harry who's Going Through Stuff and I just loved it a lot.

Fic 3: around the world in eighty thousand days, by fallfreely

Info: 1D, Liam/Harry

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856935

Nadine’s comment: It was hard to pick a 1D fave but I think that this fic always had a v special place in my heart & I can't even explain why. I love the dynamic of this pairing (even though it's not even my OTP, wtf. I'm a Gryles and Narry truther... *eye emoji*) and the whole FEEL of this fic and it's slow burn tour fic, soo.

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Submitted by: Frecklebomb

Fic 1: Shalbatana

Info: Mars Trilogy, Gen

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629

Frecklebomb’s comment: A beautifully-written gen fic (with an incredibly gorgeous podfic by Luzula) in the near-future-scifi Mars Trilogy fandom but very easy to enjoy without canon knowledge. I revisit this story over and over and always marvel at the presence of the landscape and alien planet in it, the way it feels like a character. Bonus Mars rover feelings (I cry every time about the robot).

Fic 2: Through a Glass Darkly, by susiecarter

Info: DCU, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395793/chapters/46155535

Frecklebomb’s comment: Sprawling post-apocalyptic epic, so rich and cinematic that it feels like a movie I somehow read. The worldbuilding and tension of the focal ship are what sucked me into this fic, but what stayed with me was the richness of the ensemble characters. I find myself just thinking about their character arcs, and imagining what they'd be doing post-story. I want fic of this fic.

Fic 3: Too Far Down The Road, by SoniaVice

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208136/chapters/30212907

Frecklebomb’s comment: An amnesia trope origfic set in handwavey hockey fandom (author said they 'set it free' to be OMC/OMC when the dynamic needed to be different from the RPF ship it started out as). It gives me so many good feelings about family (of choice and otherwise) and ageing and self-acceptance and sexuality, and the way you can choose to be changed by the people you spend your life with.

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Submitted by: Em (Springsteen)

Fic 1: Pull Me Under, by zarah5

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766

Em’s comment: first of all zarah5 is a fandom legend. second, this is like the pinnacle of fake relationship fics to me it's 140k and so much of it is pining and like truly, who among us doesn't love harry styles with their whole heart. I can't think about the '10s without thinking about one direction and when this fic came out I remember a lot of people fully losing their minds.

Fic 2: Door to Door, by Ferritin4

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478298

Em’s comment: this is one of the first hockey fics I ever read and I still come back to it so often. The relationship builds so well, Tyler's dogs are in it, it's just so sweet, and plus it's a very readable 10k.

Fic 3: Darling It Is No Joke, by thehoyden

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194

Em’s comment: look I can't be retrospective about this decade and /not/ include a sterek fic. the first half of this decade for me was all 1d and teen wolf and full disclosure, it's been a while since I've reread this fic, but I remember the banter being really stellar and thehoyden is another one of those authors who I just. Adore.

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Submitted by: Dan

Fic 1: The Heart Rate of a Mouse (series) by Anna (arctic_grey)

Info: Bandom, Ryan Ross/Brendan Urie

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/712953

Dan’s comment: This fic is incredibly iconic. It’s definitely one of my favorites of all time—the way the story is told is just heart wrenching, and it manages to always keep you on edge about what’s going to happen. The portrayal of self discovery, love, jealousy, down to the settings and all the social issues of the time period (the 70s), is amazingly done.

Fic 2: The Cat’s Miaow by Pennyplainknits

Info: Bandom, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930529

Dan’s comment: This fic is unlike anything else I’ve read. First off, I LOVE historical AUs, and the noir setting is everything I could have wanted and more. The author has managed to create such a delicate and profound romance along with an interesting plot that borders on thriller without ever going too far with either side of the story.

Fic 3: Get Real Get Right (Fuckin Right) by sophiahelix

Info: Riveyonce Cuoknowles, Sufjan Stevens/Drake

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9029020

Dan’s comment: Honestly? This is just art.

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Submitted by: Carina

Fic 1: Bite Marks by provocative_envy

Info: HP, Hermione/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580953/chapters/7894464

Carina’s comment: i've shied away from aus in harry potter fic for years, especially american college aus but this fic in my opinion kept the best of the characters and modernized them in a way that felt true to who they are.

Fic 2: old jokes from a wild youth, by knightspur

Info: SEVENTEEN RPF, Mingyu/Minghao

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127073

Carina’s comment: mingyu and minghao are in love, but they're not soulmates. i love the dynamics and the quiet intimacy between them, and also how they work through wanting to be together despite them not having a bond in the way soulmates have.

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Submitted by: Katy

Fic 1: The River and The Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure

Info: 1D, Harry/Niall

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005275

Katy’s comment: this fic honestly surpasses the genre of fic. it is a genre all its own. it is the pinnacle in catharsis and heartbreak and having a satisfying end that is completely unsatisfying as well. I will never recover from this fic.

Fic 2: Out of the Dead Land by Orphan Account

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955

Katy’s comment: there is a specific phrase in this fic that has and will continue to stay with me. I will never hear the phrase "up or down" without feeling immense heartbreak. an amazing blend of source material to create something altogether its own - but could still take place in either canon

Fic 3: Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Jimin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168

Katy’s comment: this fic is one that I found more recently, but I can already tell that it is one that is going to stick with me for a long long time. it is another fic that I feel transcends the genre of fic entirely

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Submitted by: Corie

Fic 1: Build A Temple In Me by Authoress

Info: Haikyuu!, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716002

Corie’s comment: A wonderful and moving fanfic with fantasy akin to studio ghibli. If I have to recommend Haikyuu fanfiction this is it.

Fic 2: Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

Info: Haikyuu!, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898771/chapters/8721568

Corie’s comment: Another haikyuu!! Fic! I remember reccing this to my friend and she said it was more akin to a novel then any fanfiction she has read. High praise IMO

Fic 3: Fake Sugar by minverse

Info: BTS, Jungkook/Seokjin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707098/chapters/33987549

Corie’s comment: Oh sweet god I love minverse’s writing and this fic has it all. Romance, smut, and a nice dollop of humor.

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Submitted by: Abby

Fic 1: an awful curse by blinkiesays

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604092

Abby’s comment: Non-linear timeline, au within the story, "every me loves every you," domesticity but also heavy angst, and it's so beautifully written it makes me want to cry reading it. also it harkens back to the time of when the show was still good.

Fic 2: dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye

Info: Les Miserables, Enjorlas/Grantaire

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994140/chapters/1966093

Abby’s comment: It's such a great, understandable ensemble fic for a dense canon, with such a great modern day au setting, but the whole time it really deals with the main character's depression and alcoholism and the complete overwhelming love that he has for the guy he's shipped with. it's so gritty and real but the ending brings so much hope I love it.

Fic 3: comment fic by anon

Info: iCarly, Sam/Spencer

Link: https://author-abz.livejournal.com/35003.html

Abby’s comment: this is an ANONYMOUS comment fic someone wrote me when I was feeling down on LJ and it's so short but so complete, and it says everything it needs to about it being okay to mess up and just be messed up together. also: "glitter emergency" (technically a cheat, it's from 2008; I forgot it was so old)

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Submitted by: Kassie

Fic 1: An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky

Info: Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676

Kassie’s comment: an exercise in worthless introduced me (indirectly) to my favorite musician and (directly) to the subject i almost minored in during undergrad, so honestly i would put it as a fic of the decade even if it wasn’t one of the best fics i read in the supernatural fandom.

Fic 2: Superstition (series) by Superstition_hockey

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/413233

Kassie’s comment: superstition started out as a tropey, fun, lighthearted short fic, and grew into a big thing that deals with a lot of serious topics incredibly well while also being still very funny and emotional and having honestly some of my favorite fictional characters i’ve read in years

Fic 3: United States v. Barnes

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304905/chapters/5071058

Kassie’s comment: united states v barnes is the multimedia fic of my DREAMS. this is what i want to show people to explain why i love fanfic so much. it does so much with the medium its working in and the presentation of the fic, and fits that perfect fanfic niche of exploring the kind of background that will never appear in canon but that everyone wonders about.

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Submitted by: Kat

Fic 1: I’ve felt and I’ve Been by autotunedd

Info: Big Bang RPF, Seunghyun/Jiyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349758/chapters/35616516

Kat’s comment: Possibly the fic that marked my entire decade. The characters are so human and real, the plot is heavy and winding and the twists sometimes seem life ending. It is heavy, it is painful, it is sad, it is angsty, it is maybe even a smidge too real and dangerous at times, but it makes a solid read, a long, relatable novel about real people with real fears and problems.

Fic 2: Eversion by thespectaclesofthor

Info: Detroit: Become Human, Hank Anderson/Connor

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754140/chapters/36638253

Kat’s comment: Beautiful, long, detailed, well written, hard hitting, serious, sweet, painful, kinky, all in one! The characters have so much depth, their issues and inner workings seem so real and the plot is so carefully crafted and detailed, every chapter keeps you at the edge of your seat. All in all, beautifully crafted, passionate, hard hitting piece that I couldn't help falling in love with.

Fic 3: Eggshell Landscapes and the Burden of Love by NoContractTermination

Info: NCT RPF, Taeil/Johnny

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446438

Kat’s comment: Short, sweet, angsty and charming! I loved the intimate look into their relationship this fic brings, the trials and tribulations and the struggle to communicate. It all seemed so raw and real and coupled with the author's beautiful writing, it all came together in a perfect read, with bounds of re-read potential.

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Submitted by: Wen

Fic 1: the bellwether by highoctane

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634426

Wen’s comment: Feelings!!! It's really refreshing to read a character who, as an established adult, is reconfiguring an understanding of himself without it being either a whole crisis or a sudden seamless lightbulb moment. It's very fair to both characters' emotions, letting them both react in a way that feels wonderfully human and real rather than idealistic.

Fic 2: Five Times the Potion Seller Refused to Sell a Potion (and One Time He Didn’t) by misura

Info: Potion Seller (Justin Kuritzkes Short Film), Knight/Potion Seller

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441447

Wen’s comment: It's based on a 3 minute meme video and if it was just a tweet or post with the title alone it would be a great joke but... someone went and wrote the dang thing! And it could have been ridiculous crackfic, and while it certainly toes that line it's also got a really fun flow of dialogue that leaves a lot to the imagination without it getting confusing.

Fic 3: I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town by Daniel Lavery

Info: The Untitled Goose Game, gen

Link: https://www.shatnerchatner.com/p/i-am-the-horrible-goose-that-lives

Wen’s comment: the writing is tremendous and sits beautifully in that razor's edge space where english is used just strangely enough to create a fantastic character voice without going too far and falling into some kind of awkward english language uncanny valley. it's so hard to pick out the best line because every line is the best line. "Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose."

━

Submitted by: Mage

Fic 1: Fog, Sheets and Thunder by theopteryx

Info: My Chemical Romance RPF, Frank/Gerard

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351396

Mage’s comment: i have literally thought about this fic at least once a week since i read it in 2012. do not ask me why. i have no answers.

Fic 2: Flowers in Bones by fringecity (indiachick)

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256390

Mage’s comment: sometimes i just wanna be a careful selection of small animal bones that yoongi gently unearths and meticulously crafts into an altar of pressed flowers and ink

Fic 3: It Happened Quiet by hobimo

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070646/chapters/34939646

Mage’s comment: haunted woods :) cryptids :) that deeply unsettling feeling that there are greater, mysterious forces at work and there's nothing you can do about it :)

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Submitted by: BirdieLeonie

Fic 1: Reprise (series) by Elfpen

Info: Star Wars, various (Obi-Wan centric)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I spent about seven months of my life reading nothing but Star Wars time-travel fix-it fics. (I am not exaggerating; there are enough of them to last that long or longer.) This is my favorite.

Fic 2: Friday Night Arrives Without a Suitcase by marycontraire

Info: Hockey RPF, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534247

BirdieLeonie’s comment: This is a fic I have kept coming back to again and again in the years since I first read it. It's domestic and sweet and still adult. It's like curtainfic, inverted; the leads live together and parent their kids and go grocery shopping before they have a romantic or sexual relationship.

Fic 3: The Hero’s Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer (podfic), by artzbots, blackglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, kalakirya, Opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande

Info: MCU & Welcome to Night Vale, Jemma Simmons/Jasper Sitwell

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462223

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I love podfic, I love crossovers, and I love this fic. Again, I picked this because of all the thousands of MCU fics I've read, this is the one I find myself coming back to repeatedly. This crossover is creative, fun, and plays with one of my favorite tropes: what was happening to a minor character in the background of the story we saw?

[randomoranges]

it’s post holidays but whatever.

also this one is more - vignetty.

also i changed its title like 4 times.

also, let’s play a game called “can we actually link together most of these holiday fics into one universe?” 

the answer is yes.

8 of them can be linked together ha ha ha (if you wish)

Here’s what it would look like: Last Christmas I Gave you My Heart [Please Come Home for Christmas], Auld Lang Syne [And a Happy New Year], Baby It’s Cold Outside [Turn the Lights On], I’ll be Home for Christmas [For the Holidays You Can’t Beat Home Sweet Home], It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year [Kiss me Underneath the Mistletoe], Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time [Ransack the Mall, Shop Until you Lose Your Mind], Merry Christmas Darling [Take a Walk with Your Favourite Girl], I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You [Christmas Calling - Bright Lights Falling]

also there is One More Xmas fic left. Finally. 

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time [ Ransack the Mall, Shop Until You Lose Your Mind ]

 Étienne rolled over in bed and tried to find Edward, in order to curl up around him and take advantage of his body heat, but instead, the spot beside him was empty, if a little warm. He furrowed his face in Edward’s pillow and for a moment, it was sufficient, until even that wasn’t warm enough and he heard movement coming from somewhere else in the room. He knew it was late – or more, like early. He ignored it at first, his brain too sleep-lagged to properly care, or process things, but when he heard the noise again, he stirred, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Ed?” He asked, even if it sounded less like “Ed” and more like a mutated groan.

There was movement again in the room, until the bed dipped and Étienne recognised the familiar scent of Edward. He moved towards the warm body and reached for whatever part of his boyfriend he could find first, which ended up being an elbow.

“Early. Bed.” He said, making Edward chuckle.

“You go back to sleep, Teddy, I have to get ready.”

Étienne frowned, but then relaxed when he felt a gentle hand run through his hair. Still, Edward wasn’t slipping back under the blankets and that only put a slight damper on his current bliss. “Time?”

“Close to four thirty.”

Étienne frowned again, even if he was half-asleep. It’s what got him to sit up and give Edward a puzzled look, even if the look was more of a squint and his eyes were mostly still shut, “Remind me again, why?”

It was a tradition, Edward told him, when poor people lined the mall to get good deals on televisions and bread makers, because limited amount of stock and capitalism. Where every year, on Boxing Day, he and his mother went to the mall to get things they had been eyeing at bargain prices and where poor employees went in late Christmas Day to get ready. Edward had asked Étienne if he wanted to come along, but Étienne had told him, that even though he loved him dearly, and even though he got along well with Edward’s mother, there was absolutely no way in hell that he would go anywhere near a mall, on Boxing Day. Ever. Especially at this God forsaken time.

Edward had called him soft.

Étienne told him he needed at least some sleep.

Edward had told him it was his loss.

Étienne had told him to have fun and had even given him fifty dollars to “get something nice.”

Edward had thrown a pillow at him. (But he’d kept the money. A gift was a gift. And he could do a lot of damage with a fifty.)

“Because, it’s capitalism, baby,” He said with a laugh to his voice and Étienne groaned. “And, also, we really need a new toaster.” He paused as he put on a pair of pants, “Gotta have a hearty breakfast so we have energy for bargains! Also, by getting an early start we can be first in line – all part of the Strategy, Curly, you sure you don’t want in? We could use the extra set of hands.”

Étienne made a face at that – he wasn’t sure he would ever understand the logic behind such suffering, but if it made Edward happy, who was he to stop him? Hell, he didn’t even go Boxing Day shopping back home – and stores opened at 1pm back home! He had nearly fainted when Edward had told him stores here opened at normal times and people lined up even earlier. He had heard all about the Strategy so many times that he still wasn’t entirely sure how it worked out, but Edward and Mrs. Murphy swore by it and he wasn’t about to argue. He valued his spot in the good graces of Mrs. Murphy – he’d heard what happened to those who fell out of the good graces of Mrs. Murphy. (It wasn’t pretty.)

“God speed,” He chose to say instead and plopped back down in bed, pulling the covers over himself.

Edward chuckled softly and tucked him in, before placing a kiss to his forehead, “Be good – we should be back this evening, maybe earlier, depends. Anyways, Dad’s staying home, but he’ll be glued to the TV – World Juniors and Spengler start today. You’re more than welcome to watch with him – and don’t worry, I got you some real beer if you want – it’s in the back of the fridge.”

Étienne made a sound that could have been acknowledgement, but Edward didn’t stay to find out and instead headed out, while Étienne fell back asleep.

–

When Étienne deigned it was late enough to get up, he padded out of Edward’s old childhood bedroom and made his way to the main floor. He briefly remembered Edward telling him he was off to the mall, what felt like hours before, and true to his boyfriend’s word, he found Mr. Murphy sitting in the living room sofa, sporting his Team Canada sweater, with the TV on.

It was a good thing Étienne had already previously met Edward’s parents, for this would have been a much more daunting morning had he not. It wasn’t that Edward’s parents weren’t nice, but between the two of them, Mrs. Murphy was much easier to read than her husband. Mrs. Murphy was warm and welcoming. She was easy with words, a quick hug and she had a killer sense of humour. Her husband, on the other hand, was a man of few words.

Mr. Murphy was tall, built like a mountain, very strong and very intimidating looking. He had a full head of very dark hair, an intelligent look in his hazel eyes and sharp features. Étienne believed Edward would look like his father in thirty or so years, if he was half a foot taller and worked on the rigs for twenty odd years. Mr. Murphy was a family man who had done what he had needed to do to support a wife and two children. He had made sacrifices and had worked hard to make sure his family never needed for anything. He liked his sports channel, he liked his beer, and he fiercely loved his family.

From what Edward had told him, his father was proud of his province, loved where he was from, loved to take his truck out for a ride, and had strong conservative values. He and Edward had not always seen eye to eye and for a long time, Edward had been convinced his father would disown him the moment he found out he was gay, but as it turned out, Mr. Murphy equally loved his son fiercely. Over the years after Edward’s coming out, they had mended their broken bridges and had actually learnt to get to know one another. Now, at least, Edward knew that even if his father was more of the silent type and didn’t always express his feelings, and even if they didn’t always agree on politics, his father still wanted what was best for him and had his back. Therefore, it had been a relief when Mr. Murphy hadn’t told Étienne to leave and instead had invited him to sit at the table, when Edward had brought him over, a few summers ago. (And if anyone asked, Étienne had not been a nervous mess at the time. At all.)

It was why Étienne felt quite at ease (or, at ease) politely greeting Mr. Murphy, making himself something to eat, and then getting comfortable on the living room loveseat afterwards with his sketchbook and phone, while Mr. Murphy gave him a quiet play by play of what had happened up until now with the games.

–

Étienne ended up spending most of his morning and early afternoon watching hockey with Mr. Murphy. Even if Team Canada wasn’t playing, Mr. Murphy watched the other games to see what Team Canada could eventually face, if they got to play these teams, or when they would play them. The man certainly knew his hockey and was quite enthused about the sport, if Étienne was to judge by the comments he kept making. He even switched between the World Juniors tournament and the Spengler cup, but only during breaks and intermissions, since the Juniors’ had more at stake than the Spengler – or so Mr. Murphy said. Étienne didn’t mind and kept up with the games as he doodled away in his sketchbook.

“I remember back in 2015 when Connor McDavid came back. There was a lot of hype around that year’s Team Canada – a lot of talent as well. The great thing about this is you have all this up and coming talent, but you also get these surprises. You never know who’ll shine. Anything is possible.” He said and Étienne nodded, not quite sure what to add to that. “Hope Team Canada makes it far this year.” He added.

“I don’t see why they shouldn’t – they have a strong defence and that Dufour has a pretty solid forecheck. But they’re in a tight group and the other teams seem to have a lot of dept as well. Plus, Switzerland can be surprising and both Finland and Russia are juggernauts. They’ll have to be careful.”

Mr. Murphy sat up a little straighter and looked at Étienne, surprised, “Didn’t think you knew your hockey that well, son,” Étienne shrugged, even if his cheeks pinked a little.

“I follow the tournament – my sister volunteered the two years it was in Montreal. It’s an intensive game – more creative than regular hockey.”

Mr. Murphy nodded sagely, “Who would’ve thought the art kid knew so much about hockey?” He laughed and luckily, Étienne had had enough talks with Mr. Murphy (even if they were few) to know that he was only joking and that “art kid” was more of am endearment than an insult.

“I am absolutely full of surprises, Mr. Murphy,” Mr. Murphy laughed even louder and Étienne couldn’t help but grin.

“You know, I think your old man might actually like me,” He wrote to Edward, even if his boyfriend wouldn’t see his message until he got back home – or in his mother’s car.

–

It was indeed evening when Edward and his mother returned, loaded with bags and Étienne and Mr. Murphy helped them unload the car. (Étienne stayed inside but carried the bags from the door to the kitchen – it was cold outside and he didn’t have polar bear skin, unlike his boyfriend – or his boyfriend’s father, who was going from the car to the door in nothing but his slippers and what he had been wearing earlier.)

“I see this was a productive shopping trip,” Étienne said as a means of greeting once the last of the bags were in.

“It was, but I met my quota of people for the rest of the year. There were so many people, oh my God, but my mom and I still managed to get everything we wanted and then some,” He high-fived his mother as she walked by and Étienne shook his head, amused, “The Strategy, once more, proved to be flawless,” Étienne still wasn’t sure he understood the folly behind this madness, but he supposed there were many things that he did that Edward did not understand either.

“Good thing the year ends soon.” Étienne said, grinning as Edward made a face.

“Why am I not even surprised you said such a thing?”

“I am a gift, Murphy, you need to appreciate it.”

Edward stuck out his tongue, but Étienne only laughed as he helped Edward out of his jacket and hung it in the closet, “Jokes put aside, you look beat, d’you want me to run you a bath after you put everything away?”

“Yes, please, you’re the absolute best; so, how was your day? And what’s this with my father actually liking you?”

Étienne recapped his day as he helped Edward empty out the bags and told him about the games he had watched. He paused every now and again as Edward showed him his purchases of the day and once they were done, Étienne kept his promise and ran Edward a bath with extra bubble bath.

If Edward nearly fell asleep in the tub, Étienne blamed it on the “Strategy.”

FIN