#like…bruh…already got a white one AND pink one

[sevenmothz]

can someone get me a brother that picks out good gifts, plzthnx

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

20: He's Bouncing on my Booty Cheeks, I Love the Way He Rides

A/N: Ignore the chapter title.

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

ONCE AGAIN, YOU STUMBLE ASS BACKWARDS INTO VICTORY!!!!

You stretch dramatically in the middle of the living room, a happy smile on your face after a week of being in fucking misery.

That’s right, cucks. You’re no longer sick! You felt it start to go away a few days ago, but this morning you felt absolutely perfect!

Sure, there’s your bad back pain, but that’s just par for the course! You think Papyrus had already left this morning considering that A: it’s 10 in the morning and his pattern for the past week told you that 8 out of 10 times he’s already out of the house at this time. And B: It’s strangely quiet, the faint trousle of bones is no longer in the house.

Shame.

You already showered and now you’re dressed and ready to go. Since you don’t want to get sick again like a little bitch, you went with something to fit the theme. A deep purple turtleneck and a black coat on top, simple jeans, and your loyal boots. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. That being said, you wish you had something a little more cunty that also kept you warm…

You feel like chewing gum…

Anyway, you walk up the stairs and head to Sans’ forbidden zone: aka his room. You don’t know if Sans is awake or even in his room at all. You’re going to ask if he wants to go with you (if he’s even there), if not then you’ll just have to fly solo. You’d rather not deal with monsters trying to fight you, but momma didn’t raise no bitch.

Knock Knock Knock.

You’re busy thinking about how long you should wait until you knock again when the skeleton’s voice unexpectedly comes out the other side.

“who’s there?”

You snort, “Uh…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Interrupting cow.”

“…”

“…”

“…interrupting co-”

“-Moooo.”

There’s a heavy sigh from the other side of the door before it opens. You back up and have enough mind to look away so you don’t get a peek inside his room. It doesn’t really mean anything since you know what it looks like (you’ve seen the fucking lore videos), but you hope it means something to Sans at least.

Sans looks as ready as he always does, though instead of pink gloves today, they’re plain white. Hm, you like the pink ones better.

“that was a bad one.” He says, closing the door behind himself.

You shrug, “It got you out here, didn’t it?”

“your first day free from sickness, and you use this power for evil?”

“Don’t sound so disappointed, I know you liked it.”

The skeleton rolls his eye-lights, “anyway, what’s up? you uh, you look like you’re ready to go somewhere.”

“I am. It’s been a week, I’m sure poor Grillby’s been missing my punk ass. If he needs more time to think about it, then fine, but I want an update on my pending application. You wanna come with?” You smile.

“oh, you’re serious about that.”

You cross your arms and pout slightly.

“alright, alright. well, if you’re sure then let’s get going right now.”

You perk right back up, your smile widening as you begin to walk back downstairs. Sans shakes his head and follows close behind, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets. You’re a lot more energetic now, it’s almost endearing if it wasn’t so tiring just to watch. You weren’t like this when you two first met, but then again, you two aren’t exactly honest with each other. Plus he barely knows you, so he doesn’t think it’s fair to judge what you’re “normally like.”

“hey, [y/n].”

You look up at him from the bottom of the stairs, “Yeah?”

“you’re not gonna ask me to ride grillby’s dick for this, are ya?”

“AH-HA HA!! Shut up about that!!”

“it’s gonna be a cold day in the underground ‘til i can forget you saying that to me.”

“But we’re in Snowdin! It’s cold here all the time!”

Sans tilts his head, tapping his chin in false wonder, “hm, can’t say i feel that cold, though. you must be mistaken.”

“Bruh.”

“come on,” Sans slips right by you, “we can’t dick ride from here.”

You follow by his side with an easy grin, “Wait, so we’re dick riding now? I thought you were volunteering.”

“and take on that hottie alone? you gotta be out of your mind.”

“He IS pretty, fine, isn’t he…”

“...oh, you’re serious about that, too.”

“You know what? I don’t appreciate you judging me right now. Isn’t it usually an admirable trait when someone doesn’t give a shit about what another person looks like?”

“i think the lines start getting blurred when it’s getting into monster-fucker territory.”

“Oh, heck no. You know the fuck a monster-fucker is, but not Sugar Daddies or BDSM terms?”

“…”

“…”

Sans and you were just standing at the door, haven’t even left yet because you two are too busy standing around talking. This isn’t the conversation you were hoping to have with the comic, but you suppose that was your first mistake: having hopes. He snorts (somehow) and shakes his head.

“i think this is the type of conversation that should never leave the comfort of these walls. Or our ears.”

You grin, “You mean your spiritual ears?”

“ugh, you get what i mean.” Sans rolls his eye-lights, “c’mon. let’s get goin’ before i get any lazier.”

“Alright, alright. Uh, lady’s first.”

His permanent grin widens while he opens the door, “my, how kind of you.”

What a fucking dork. Why do you always get stuck with the mentally ill ones? First yourself, then Elliot, and now Sans the Skeleton. Thank God you’re, like, kind of normal passing when it counts, like with Toriel. Surely she isn’t aware of how brain-dead you actually are.

The walk to Grillby’s was comfortably silent and kind of amusing. You weren’t talking because there were people out and about and you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to keep the conversation PG. What’s even funnier is that you think Sans isn’t talking for the same reason. Should you be ashamed that you’ve tainted the poor man with your ways? Probably, but the unfortunate truth is that you don’t feel ashamed at all.

Arriving at the cozy restaurant, you open the door for Sans and allow him through first. He gives you his thanks because he’s polite sometimes. There are only two people, you supposed it’s “too early;” Red Bird and Ugly Fish were sitting at their usual place at the bar, waving at you in a casual greeting. Grillby is cleaning off one of the tables carefully spraying the table with what looks to be a shimmering cleaning product and rag. Poor guy, he’s stretching his arm far ahead of himself and being careful not to touch anything wet.

“See–!” You suddenly speak up, gesturing vaguely with your hand, “This is something I could be doing for you, Grillby. With me around, never would you have to worry about liquids trying to extinguish your hot ass ever again.”

The poor fire-man jumped at your voice, but as you kept talking, his startlement turned into amusement. He places the items on the table and crosses his arms, waiting for you to finish yapping.

Sans shrugs his shoulders, “i told you she’d insist on it.”

You raise an eyebrow, “You were just saying how you didn’t actually think I was serious.”

“i never said such things.”

“It was implied.”

“not the same thing, dude.”

“Anyway!” Wow, it is way too easy to go back and forth with this man–uh, skeleton. “If you still need time to think about it, don’t worry. I just wanted to know if you got any thoughts or concerns or updates or whatever.”

Grillby shakes his head and walks a little closer, clearing his throat quietly. Wait, why is he–Does he plan on speaking?!

The restaurant is silent, both you and Sans watching the hot man in anticipation. You fiddle nervously with your fingers while the skeleton is leaning slightly forward with his hands in his pockets.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…You’re hired.”

YOOOO!!!!

You and Sans bounce in excitement, unintentionally grabbing each other’s arms like excited children. Grillby rolls his eyes and shakes his head, though you can sense a smile on him anyway. You let go of poor Sans since you don’t think he realized you two got touchy and you don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

You clear your throat and grin while putting your hands on your hips, “That’s what I like to hear! So, when should I-”

Grillby held up a finger, and you were silenced immediately.

“But…” Grillby speaks softly, his voice is so smooth and soothing, and you may or may not have a voice kink. “I don’t need assistance from Mondays to Wednesdays. Really, Thursdays through Sundays are my busiest. So, I’ll only need you during those days if that’s fine.”

You nod slowly, “You have such a great voice. I’m sorry, I had to say it.”

Sans deadpans, “you can’t keep your thoughts to yourself for, like, ten minutes?”

You shrug and hold up your hands, “My bad, gang.”

Grillby didn’t seem to be bothered. If anything, the fire crackled irregularly for a few seconds before calming down. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he got flustered.

“Okay, okay, okay.” You shake your hands frantically, “In all seriousness, though. That sounds just fine with me. Today’s Wednesday, so I’ll come in tomor-”

“-No, you will start NEXT week. Sans said you wanted to take some time to settle into Snowdin, but you just got here a week ago. So, take a little more time to yourself,” You sense him smiling at you, “It’ll give me time to get you a uniform too, and prepare to have extra hands around here.”

You’re about to protest against that, but Sans speaks up before you can.

“well, aren’t you super considerate, grillbz? hey, since we’re feelin’ nice, maybe think about forgiving my tab?” He winks.

“…”

“…”

“No.”

“meh, had to try.”

“I’m not going to complain about not going to work, but… I dunno, only Thursdays to Sundays aren't gonna be enough for me.” You frown, crossing your arms and putting a hand to your chin, “I don’t consider myself a workaholic, but I like having money. Like, a lot of money. If you need me only for those days, I might find somewhere else for Mondays and Tuesdays.”

Sans winces slightly, “uh… really? didn’t take you for the materialistic type.”

“Hm? I might not act like it, but I love having things, and I love spoiling myself,” You smile in reminiscence of your late partner, Kōrenki, “It didn’t help that I used to have someone who was happy spoiling me, too.”

This is the story you hope they believe. It IS true you love shiny things, but the main reason is because you still fully intend to pay Sans rent. If it turns out you legitimately become the only person with a(n) (stable) income, you’re going to need that money to provide for you three.

Sans’ smile wavers, “so, you’re a material girl, huh?”

MATERIAL GIRLLL 💅🎀✨

It took everything in your fucking body to not say that. It must’ve shown on your face because Sans is giving you the side eye.

“whatever joke you’re about to say, probably don’t say it.”

“Yeah…”

“If you’re looking for more work, I might got you covered.”

You, Sans, and Grillby look back at the bar where Red Bird and Ugly Fish are sitting. Ugly Fish already looks fucking wasted to Hell and back, his head down on the bar while his friend is lazily swishing her liquor in a glass cup. She smiles at you with a wink.

“I know a good place not too far from here, back in Downtown Snowdin. It’s not very popular, but it’s ran by good folks, I think it’ll be good for you,” Red Bird nods at you. “Since you used to live there, you might’ve heard of it?”

You scrunch up your nose with a smile, “Mm… I don’t think so? But I’m open to checking it out. You think the owners would be fine if I only wanted to work two days, though?”

“Ohhh, for sure! The owner is an older one, always looking forward to helping out the locals in whatever way she can. If she knew you just wanted some small, extra work, she’d take you in no problem.” Red Bird nods, “Here, here, lemme write down the directions for ya.”

Your smile widens as you bound towards her, “You–are a saint, thank you so much!”

Sans raises a bone brow, keeping his eye-lights on you, “guess some people live to work, huh grillbz?”

The hot man just shrugs. Guess he’s done talking for today, though Sans is surprised he spoke at all. It’s not like Grillby never talks, but it’s still an unusual occurrence, even to Sans. He watches you patiently until Red Bird hands you a torn napkin with poorly written scribbles that the skeleton knows will be his job to understand what the hell they mean because you have never been to Downtown Snowdin.

A small shop in Downtown Snowdin… Yeah, he thinks he knows where it is. He thinks he’s been there on a past Reset, though it couldn’t have been more than once since they didn’t have anything special that the Shop here couldn’t offer him. Look at you, making him experience new things already and you’ve barely been here at all.

How tiring, actually.

You wave the napkin in the air with a big smile, stopping in front of the comic, “Lookie, lookie! Think we can head there right now?”

“sure, might as well do it now before i get too lazy to take you later,” Sans shrugs, holding his hand out for the napkin, “lemme take a look at it.”

You let Sans take it so he can give it a gander. You wonder if he knows this place, but you suppose you’ll find out in a bit. You look at Grillby while putting your hands on your hips. He mimics your movements and nods at you.

Cheeky man.

“You sure you can take it for this next week? I really don’t mind starting tomorrow.”

Grillby nods at you once again but says nothing. Guess him talking took more effort than anticipated, but you don’t mind it. Maybe you can actually teach him ASL; even if you and he are only using it, you think a way of communication would be nice. Sans nods and clears his throat to get your attention.

“yeah, i know where this is. if we go now, we can get there in… eh, about ten minutes. you ready to head out?”

“Yeah, sure! Let’s get going!”

The goodbyes were short and to the point, no one wanted to get in the way of your eagerness, and you all had a feeling you’d be seeing each other soon anyway. Due to Sans’ kindness, he used a shortcut to skip that bridge so you wouldn’t tweak out again. Though after that, he takes you to another path that you noticed before but didn’t pay any attention to at the time. You knew the Underground had a lot more to it than shown in the game, but now actually going through it in person…

“Gawdamn, this place is huge, dude!”

Sans snorts, “you didn’t think the underground was just a small hole in the ground, didja?”

“…Well, not anymore.”

He simply shakes his head at you, “maybe we can go exploring more another time, then.”

“Yeah, I’d really like that, Sans.”

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fluffyart5000

[hetr0ph0bic]

can you do a shuri x riri smut for valentine’s day?

warn; smut jealousy oooo i luv it, porn yall, strength kink, size diff, possessive shuri.

a/n oooo yalll i luvvv this one, ALSO I DIDNT PROOF READ BITCH IM TIRED

JEALOUS

if his bitchass look over here again im going to fucking kill him

needless to say, the night isnt going to play. riri and shuri sit hand in hand, in a booth. the two find themselves at a diner, in chicago for valentines. riri got the invite from instagram.

“ come on shuri please, can we go? plus its a good time since your in town” riri pleaded to shuri.

“oh fine we can go plus i want a good unhealthy american milkshake”.

so here they are slurping on vanilla milkshakes and chewing on a large order of fries. pink and red paper cutouts float all around them. cute hearts and x’s and o’s, placed all over the table. big themed balloons cover the ceiling. and honesty, the night was going so, so well. shuri and riri talk about any and everything. from work and college life to how to eat a milkshake and fries properly. 

“no bruh you have to dip the fry in the milkshake” riri reaches to grab the fry from shuri’s hand 

“what no i don't want to” she weaves riri’s hand, scooting farther in the booth

“what? why not, it's good!” riri gives up and grabs fries from the basket.

“i don't think thats…right. like who wants soggy fries?”

“girl please here just try it” riri dips the fry and hands it to shuri. the older reluctantly strains her neck. with one more look at riri she bites down on the new food. after a few chews, she chimes in.

“mmmm this is good”

“i knoww” riri claps her hands together, happy that shuri actually liked it.

“ although i can feel the diabetes growing on me”

 happiness danced between the two. well, that was until, some guy walked into their sight. he stopped and leaned on the white walls. placing his disgusting eyes of lust on riri.

“ummm” riri begins to shift uncomfortably, shuri speaks up quickly, noticing the change.  

“wait, you know him, because what is he looking at?” shuri starts already on defense mode

“wait, chill. chill! if he doesn’t stop, then we can just leave. okay?”

shuri slowly agrees, and she sets her eyes of the man. he quickly turns his head, noticing a man walking up to him. he says something to the random man, seconds pass, and the ugly eyes are on riri again

“okay, his time is up” shuri rises from the booth

“shuri ! shuri sit down” riri leans over the table, a loose grip on shuri’s wrist

“what?” she speaks but doesn’t move her eyes from the new target

“you can’t just go hitting on people! this is america!!!”

“uhhh okay? your point”

“the chicago police will have our ass because you be hitting people”

“ look, i know you're new here but, america’s navy blue gang doesn’t scare me. plus with your criminal history now you decide to be scary ”

“GIRL-okay look shuri, don't. hurt. nobody”

“riri if his bitchass look over here again im going to fucking kill him”

“oh my god”

“bast what, first of all look at him. thats a MAN! YOUR GAY WITH A GIRLFRIEND. ri he doesn’t even view you as a human, looking at you like that. and i don’t share nor like it”

while the two genius pass words, the nightmare of the night walks up to them. shuri jumps up with no hesitation. riri rushe's to grab her top, yanking her back.

“aye aye slime let holler at you-” 

“she good” shuri speaks up for riri, hoping this guy would just get the hint.

“tuh! i was talking to shawty with the fat-”

 a loud smack is heard throughout the diner. with a blur, riri sees the man’s body fly back. the boy slams into a broken chair. he slumps down on a now broken chair, way pass his original standing point. riri watches and lingers as people gather around the man. slurping pulls her out of the daze, looking over to her right she sees shuri. the royal carries on slurping the vanilla shake.

“ damnit i want the cherry but i can’t get it” 

 “ bruh you can’t be for real right now” 

“i don’t see why you so worried about his ugly ass”

“i’m not worried bout him you just can’t-”

“did he make you feel uncomfy?” riri’s breath gets caught in her throat. he did. and a part of her is happy shuri punched his ass into the wall. riri stammers over her words as shuri sits in the booth.

“oh okay then” shuri says while slurping her straw

riri shakes her head, looking to the right she sees the people walking through the door. two of them, muscled men in blue wrinkly outfits, strutting over to them.

“shuri them people coming, we gotta go” riri grabs the two bags on the table.

“oh okay i’m talking the milkshake, you want the fries tho?”

“no i don’t want no damn fries! let’s go.”

“ooooo aggressive! wait! wait!” riri walks out of the diner, making shuri jogging a bit to catch up with her. shuri sees the tiny girl in a pink top and loose jeans get closer and closer.

“okay slow down! mama slow down!” shuri breathes out and sucks in long breaths

“man bye, stop acting like your tired! im tired. i need a drink after the shit you be pulling” 

shuri thinks it's smart to keep quiet as they walk down the chicago streets, looking for a decent bar. soon the two have two drinks each. watermelon and strawberry margaritas. shuri currently chews on her and riri’s pieces of fruit from their drinks.

“no because? what is wrong with you- like we get it your strong as shit but like all that so unnecessary” riri starts wanting to get to the bottom for why shuri acted like that.

“it’s a problem that i don’t like that bitch”

“stop fucking lying, WHY don’t you like him besides the entire creepy? weirdo? part”

“girl, im not lying”

“ …girl? shuri you buzzed a bit?”

“don’t make me feel like that! so are youu”

yeah they most definitely feel it. luckily two drinks are the limit, only to feel a little buzz. and in riri’s case it allows her to shed the nerves and anxiety. 

“ i know what your problem is” riri smacks and chews on the ice from the drinks.

“ ri please, it's valentines” shuri joins, gnawing down on the ice.

“ girl hush up- you sooo jealous of everything and everyone”

“that’s not true” shuri calls over the bartending closing out the tab. they still linger, chewing on the ice, still talking.

“oh its not true? ok what is then big head”

“number one, your head is bigger than mine. and im not jealous-”

“ you’re right, it's call delusional i mean possessive”

“ yeahh…. and that’s not a crime! i know what i am do you know what you are?”

“ oh easy a genius!”

hours later, shuri is grabbing riri’s hand and leading her out of the bar.

“where we finna go?” the smaller ask but is meet with silence 

“ummm where are you taking me? helloooo answer the question!” riri begins poking the panther's cheeks and tugging their matching clothes.

“ahem ahem! ngangamsha (your majesty) where areth thou taking me”

“ooooo okay you’ve been practicing” shuri breaks the silence, surprised on riri’s improvement

“yeaaa! cuz i’m in the game fr, you know i do this!”

“ but i do have a little surprise. since we had to leave the restaurant because of weirdos”

shuri covers her eyes as she leads her into the further into the airbnb. riri jumps and shakes from excitement.

“ooo okay okay is it food or like something else” riri asks for a hint, while she sticks her hands in the air trying to feel around for the answer.

“i’m not telling you, you’re literally about to see it”

“okay well move your fingers” then she tries to pry shuri’s fingers from her eyes. once the engineer gives up on the method, she starts to duck under the hands. 

“slow down” shuri laughs and her antics slow down 

“ you are gonna hurt yourself” walking a few steps forward shuri let’s riri’s eyes see the room.

valentines theme food is everywhere. from their favorite fruit, desserts,candy. watermelon, cupcakes, cookies, donuts, big candied grapes, every red and pink candy under the sun. and if it isn’t red or pink, it’s covered in colored chocolate. 

“awwww baby this is so cuteee pause. is this our name on the cookies? stawp”

“ yeah since i cut the diner short i thought you would like it”

“like it? i love it ” riri grabs a pink cookie biting into it

“good, i love you” shuri wraps her arms around the smaller’s waist. riri leans her head back on shuri’s chest. she still nibbles on the sweet cookie, eyes full of stars. body working up a nice heat, as shuri rubs up and down. she traces words in her skin and plays with her pink tank top. the smaller twists her body in shuri’s hold. turning to look up at shuri she offers the rest of the cookie. shuri holds on riri as she feeds her the cookie. once shuri has eaten it all, riri brushe's off crumbs and pink sugar pieces with her fingers. soft fingers brush skin around shuri’s lips. 

“clean” riri whisperers.

 riri doesn’t move her fingers though. she slowly makes her way to rest her limbs on shuri’s shoulders. the two share a look of want and need before moving closer.

“i love you too” riri breathes out before shuri crashe's their lips together. small pants fall out of each other's mouths. they both put in effort to wreck the other. riri bites down on shuri’s bottom lip, knowing it will cause her to lose her shit. in return, shuri swipes riri off the ground and puts her against the wall. placing her veiny hand on riri’s jaw, shuri kisses into her mouth. using her other hand, she holds her up against the wall. riri spreads her legs, welcoming shuri into her. shuri grinds their clothed heats together, causing riri to break the kiss.

“ fuck don't stop” riri sucks on shuri's tongue and laps every part of the older’s mouth. tears swell up in the engineer's eyes. growing restless, shuri holds riri to her chest as she makes her way to the bed. 

shuri tightens the hold on riri neck as she dips her long fingers into riri’s pussy. she pumps at a steady pace, curling fingers. riri screams as she plays with the sensitive muscles. she leans down to her lips. using her free hand, she spanks riri’s ass. the recoil doing nothing, but rocking her in the digits even more. 

“spread it open” shuri demands. riri recess her grip the sheets and shuri’s hair. she wiggles her hands to gain more feeling. finally, she reaches down to her legs. hands on her thighs, she pulls them apart.

“ummhmmm keep it like that”

while riri holds her legs, shuri pumps her fingers in and out mesmerized.  she’s in a loop, brown and pink with slick has her in a trance. the only thing breaking her out is the whimpers from the girl herself. she slowly pulls out, eyes locked with riri’s. shuri only has the tip of her fingers in as she pushe's all the away back in and uses her thumb to circle riri’s clit. riri eyes roll to the back of her head as she throws her head back, hitting the bed 

“hhayi (no) get up and look at me” shuri rasps out

on wobbly arms, riri manages to sit back up. shuri again slowly pulls out. she looks at her glistening fingers before offering them riri. as riri tongue swipes over shuri's fingers, the taller allows a long then line of spit to fall over riri’s spread out heat. shuri leans down and kisses riri’s pretty swollen lips. smacking fills the room 

“haa haa fuck shuri mmmm” riri let’s the moans spill out her mouth.

“i bet you thought that shit was cute huh” shuri talks while eating 

“what are talk- fuck me god”

“can’t nobody touch you like this but me."

“can’t nobody do it like you baby” riri cries out. shuri places her hands on riri’s thighs. she pushe's back on her legs, making her body curve. she can make riri’s body rock, and on her mouth she did.  tongue flat she works riri’s body against her. heavy planted up and down her legs go, while shuri's mouth slurps side to side

“fuck baby fuck”

switching it up, she picks up riri from her spread position, and plopping her on her face. above, riri tries to buck away from shuri. griping on to riri’s thighs, shuri continues to eat. juices poop out of the smaller, quickly covering shuri face as they drip down her neck. 

“shuri i’m s-s-sh mama i’m so close”

humming, shuri focuses on riri’s clit, she sucks and licks fast. when riri voice cracks, shuri lick her slit. she watches as the tiny girl arches her back with a cry. riri shakes as shuri continues to please her with her fingers.

finally, shuri eased riri back on the bed. the younger still shaking and sniffing her cry’s 

“okay so how you want it” with a cracked voice, riri starts up.

“what”

“man don’t be asking dumb questions, i said how you want it?”

“well missy… you can wait a second, don’t want you crying in my shit” 

“oh you got jokes!? you think you did yo big one and you DIDN’T” riri raises her voice as she's about to get up. the poor girl didn’t even process shuri moving, but she did. she grabs riri throws her down on the bed again. shuri placed her thumb on her clit, she moved it just a teenie weenie bit

“wait please okay”

“ohh that’s what i thought… and i kinda want you on your knees or something”

“okay” riri slips down off the bed, hitting the tile with haste.

“after you eat a bit” shuri says while passing a plate of fruits and water.

tags @karimwillia @shuri'smainbxtch @shuri'szn @widowmakker @letitias-fav @rxcently @acommonwhor3 @garbagesleepschedule @nightlife-things @sweetalittleselfish-honey @louderfortheback @heartsforjojo @youralphawolf72 @blackqueensforeva

[stvnmvrsh]

wish you'd ask me - matt maltese

Valentine's Day was inescapable, it seemed. It was just another cash-grabbing holiday, but It's all everyone at school's been talking about for the past few weeks. School announcements over purchasing Valentine's grams, holiday bake sales, and the student council asking for volunteers to decorate accordingly. He's been dragged everywhere from the store to the mall, even to the shopping center by his various friends, each of them trying to find the perfect cards and gifts. He thought everyone was a fool scrambling around like wriggling worms. He'd already bought a pack of Terrence and Phillip Valentine cards and hastily written them all out for his friends. He suddenly found himself a hypocrite when Kenny offhandedly asked him a question.

"D'ya get anything for Kyle yet?" Kenny asked as he mashed the buttons on the controller.

They were sitting in Stan's living room on the couch playing Mortal Kombat for the nth time. Stan flushed hard, his Neptune eyes not leaving the screen. Ever since Kenny's deduced Stan's major crush on Kyle, he'd been teasing him about it to some degree. But of course, he'd drummed it up quite a bit recently because of the nature of the holiday.

"Quit your cheap tricks, Ken. I almost got you!"

"That's real cute, Stan. Forreal though."

Stan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "What about you? What are you getting Marj?" Stan could see him smile softly at the mention of his long-time girlfriend.

"I'm halfway through making her a paper bouquet of white roses. I've already got a Hello Kitty plushie picked out and a huge bag of peach ring gummies. Then, I'll take her someplace to eat."

"Fuck. You've got it figured out, huh?" Stan says glumly and tosses his controller to the side of the couch. Kenny's won.

"Scorpion wins!" The TV announces.

"Nice one." Stan offers his fist to Kenny.

Kenny smiles broadly and fistbumps him. "Gg, bruh."

"Y'know someone might confess to Kyle, right?" Kenny presses his back against the couch arm, tossing his feet into Stan's lap.

"If I were you, I'd get my shit together and ask him out before someone else does. I'd hate to see you regret it~" Kenny singsonged.

Stan's stomach dropped so far it touched his asshole. He hadn't thought of that.

"Fuuuuck." He whined, lightly punching at Kenny's mismatched sock-clad feet. The left one was white with a grey toe and heel. The other hit mid-calf and was green with marijuana leaves.

"Well, you could get him something that reminds you of him. Or maybe write him a nice letter along with some flowers. You could even bake him something. I'll help you if you want. " Kenny suggests while scrolling on his phone, squishing Stan's thighs with his feet.

Stan sprawled out further onto the couch and considered.

"S'okay. I'll figure it out soon." Stan replied, pulling his hat over his bleached strands, wondering how to successfully ask his best friend out.

---

Stan gawps at the red and pink hearts coating the walls. Glittery streamers were strung up and absurd posters depicting crude drawings of Eric as Cupid were plastered around. It looked like Valentine's Day exploded and no nook or cranny was spared. He could hear girls gossiping about their crushes and quiet whispers of boys betting on each other to get kissed by the end of the day.

"Woah, dude, who's that for?" Stan questions timidly as Kyle shoves a red, heart-shaped box into his locker.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about, Stan." Kyle feigns ignorance as he tries to compose himself, pushing his wire-framed glasses up his nose. Stan thought they were cute.

"No way. Someone gave it to you?" Stan looks at him, bewilderment on his face.

"Who's it for, Kyle?" Stan presses on, confused as to why he didn't want to answer.

"No one's, alright?" He groaned in embarrassment, blood rushing up his neck already. Before Stan could get another word in, the bell rang for class.

"Just drop it, okay? We have to go to class anyways, and I don't want to be late."

"Okay, bro, whatever you say," Stan holds two hands up in defeat.

"C'mon then." He takes Kyle's hand and pulls him along the hallway, failing to notice Kyle's lovesick smile.

"You're still coming over after work, right?" Kyle implored, mumbling at the back of Stan's head.

"Count on it."

It's hard to focus on Mr. Garrison's lesson on quadratic equations when Stan's stomach feels like a bunch of frogs jumping around.

He's always felt like this around Kyle. He was always happy to see him, the sight of this green hat was familiar, comforting. It made the glacial early mornings a little more tolerable. This morning, however, was a little different. Stan was dying to know who the box was for. The thought of Kyle giving his love away was hurting him. Furthering his distress was the thought of someone confessing to Kyle and him accepting.

Oh god. Stan thought, burying his head into his notebook.

---

Stan was relieved he didn't drop the vase of pink carnations due to his sweaty palms as the door swung open.

"For you, Sheila." Stan greeted her, presenting the flowers.

"Oh, goodness, Stan these are just beautiful! Thank you! Come inside, sweetheart, Kyle's just in his room." She smothered him a hug and ushered him inside. He almost wondered what it would be like to be her son-in-law, but he hastily shoved that thought from his mind.

He stepped inside, taking his sneakers off and setting them by the door. He said his hellos to Gerald and Ike before heading up the stairs to Kyle's room.

"Hey, dude." Stan poked his head through the door before opening it fully. Kyle's head lifted from his homework. The room was lit only by his green banker lamp and a vanilla-scented candle on his dresser.

"Hey Stan, how was work?"

"Pretty good. Someone adopted that golden retriever I was talking about last week." Stan replied. He'd been working part-time at the local pet shop.

"Aw, how nice. Glad they've found a home." Kyle's eyes were twinkling gems in the lamplight as he shoved his homework away. Stan wishes he could ogle at them all day long.

"You're nicer." Kyle's head snapped to him, wondering if his ears were damaged, if he really heard him right.

Stan thrust his hand into his coat pocket before he could weasel out.

"I got something for you. I know it's a little late, but I didn't want Cartman to see it. Happy Valentine's Day."

Abashedly, he handed him a thin, rectangular box.

"Holy fuck, Stan, you didn't have to! The card you gave me in class is enough for me."

Stan stayed silent as Kyle's fingers traced around the black crushed velvet. He opened the box and let out a soft gasp. It was beautiful. A 14k gold Star of David pendant. It was shaped like a coin, the star embedded in the center. The round edge was braided like a rope. The chain was was a thin cuban-link. Kyle was at a loss for words. He quickly swiped at his eyes, not wanting the tears to drop.

"Flip it over." Stan urged.

"SM & KB?" Kyle's voice trembled as he traced the engraving on the delicate surface. He refused to blink, he didn't want the tears that were stored to cascade down his cheeks.

"Us." Stan finished as he walked over, taking the pendant from his hands. He twirled Kyle around in his office chair.

"May I?"

"Please."

Kyle felt Stan's fingertips dance at the nape of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat. Stan made sure to keep his touch sparse and gentle, in fear he might scare him away.

"I got it because it reminded me of you," Stan confessed, remembering Kenny's various suggestions. "I thought it'd look nice on you. I was sorely mistaken,"

A sound escaped Kyle's mouth as he whipped around with a hurt expression, but Stan quickly finished his sentence.

"You look stunning, Ky."

Kyle could have sworn he had died a kind death and was levitating towards heaven if not for Stan tucking a stray curl out of Kyle's vision. He was close enough to see the candle's flame reflecting in his eyes. Kyle always thought Stan's eyes were so blue it was fucking ridiculous. Like the ocean, he could feel the water pulling him under, a powerful spell.

Their noses were almost touching now. Kyle could smell the delicate rose scent of Stan's laundry detergent. Stan braced both his hands on the chair's armrests, effectively caging Kyle in. There was no way of escape, but he didn't mind.

"Kyle." Stan's breathy tone made his body tingle.

"Yes?"

"Recently, I found that I love you. But, I think I always have." Stan stepped back only to pull Kyle up from his seat. He grasped one of his hands and placed it up where his heart was.

"You feel it?" Stan's heart was thrumming under his fingers.

"I feel like it's always beating for you. I didn't know why my heart always went crazy when you said nice things to me, or when we'd have dinner with our families together, or when we'd go stargazing, just you and me. But, now I know it's because you're important to me and I want you in my life forever."

Kyle raised his unoccupied hand to cup Stan's cheek. "Promise you want me?" He thought his heart was beating just as fast as his, too.

"Want you? I need you."

Their yearning lips met, ravanous for one another. Stan's hands found themselved roaming underneath Kyle's loose Greatful Dead sweater, pulling his lithe waist as close as possible. Kyle's were threaded in Stan's hair, desperately, so much so that they didn't hear Sheila come in.

"I bought you boys some cookies-" She started, but she was frozen mid sentence, astonished.

"MA!" "Oh shit!" The two exclaimed, flying apart from themselves like they were burned.

Guilt and embarassment were clear to see on their faces, Sheila saw quite well even in the dimly lit room.

There was a lenthy stillness in the room that felt like forever when really it was more like a minute. Stan refused to look at anything but the floor, Kyle was trying to ge Stan to look at him, and Sheila was looking at them both. She decided to break the silence.

"Do you boys need condoms as well or-"

"Ma!" They were all in varying degrees of embarrasment and apology.

"We can talk about this whenever you're ready, bubie." She said patiently, giving her son a peck on the forhead. She gave Stan a knowing smile and set the plate of chocolate chip cookies on Kyle's desk, leaving the room. It was just the two of them again.

They examined eachother, both smiling ear to ear. No words were needed as Kyle grabbed two cookies, one for him and the other for Stan. They were eating the cookies sitting on his bed when Kyle remembered.

"Oh!" Kyle went over to his backpack and rummaged a bit before he pulled out the red box. He held it out to Stan.

"For me?" Stan was dumbfounded, cookie crumble on the corner of his mouth.

Kyle giggled and rolled his eyes, "Yes, dumbass, now open it!"

Stan couldn't fucking believe this. God, he's perfect. Stan was ready to thank every god for Kyle. In the heart-shaped box was a golden chain bracelet. It had two charms; one was a heart with a key hole shape in the middle, another was the left size of a heart.

He thought he could conbust into tears at any moment. He looked towards Kyle who beamed at him and held up his right arm. He pulled his sleeve down to reveal another gold chain bracelet. A key charm and the right side of a heart to match with his own.

"They're magnets," Kyle bought their bracelets together and the two halves connected forming a full heart.

"My other half." Stan grew teary, interlocking their hands.

"You're so sappy." Kyle said before kissing him again.

Valentine's Day was inescapable, it seemed. It was just another cash-grabbing holiday, but It's all everyone at school's been talking about for the past few weeks. School announcements over purchasing Valentine's grams, holiday bake sales, and the student council asking for volunteers to decorate accordingly. He's been dragged everywhere from the store to the mall, even to the shopping center by his various friends, each of them trying to find the perfect cards and gifts. He thought everyone was a fool scrambling around like wriggling worms. He'd already bought a pack of Terrence and Phillip Valentine cards and hastily written them all out for his friends. He suddenly found himself a hypocrite when Kenny offhandedly asked him a question.

"D'ya get anything for Kyle yet?" Kenny asked as he mashed the buttons on the controller.

They were sitting in Stan's living room on the couch playing Mortal Kombat for the nth time. Stan flushed hard, his Neptune eyes not leaving the screen. Ever since Kenny's deduced Stan's major crush on Kyle, he'd been teasing him about it to some degree. But of course, he'd drummed it up quite a bit recently because of the nature of the holiday.

"Quit your cheap tricks, Ken. I almost got you!"

"That's real cute, Stan. Forreal though."

Stan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "What about you? What are you getting Marj?" Stan could see him smile softly at the mention of his long-time girlfriend.

"I'm halfway through making her a paper bouquet of white roses. I've already got a Hello Kitty plushie picked out and a huge bag of peach ring gummies. Then, I'll take her someplace to eat."

"Fuck. You've got it figured out, huh?" Stan says glumly and tosses his controller to the side of the couch. Kenny's won.

"Scorpion wins!" The TV announces.

"Nice one." Stan offers his fist to Kenny.

Kenny smiles broadly and fistbumps him. "Gg, bruh."

"Y'know someone might confess to Kyle, right?" Kenny presses his back against the couch arm, tossing his feet into Stan's lap.

"If I were you, I'd get my shit together and ask him out before someone else does. I'd hate to see you regret it~" Kenny singsonged.

Stan's stomach dropped so far it touched his asshole. He hadn't thought of that.

"Fuuuuck." He whined, lightly punching at Kenny's mismatched sock-clad feet. The left one was white with a grey toe and heel. The other hit mid-calf and was green with marijuana leaves.

"Well, you could get him something that reminds you of him. Or maybe write him a nice letter along with some flowers. You could even bake him something. I'll help you if you want. " Kenny suggests while scrolling on his phone, squishing Stan's thighs with his feet.

Stan sprawled out further onto the couch and considered.

"S'okay. I'll figure it out soon." Stan replied, pulling his hat over his bleached strands, wondering how to successfully ask his best friend out.

Stan gawps at the red and pink hearts coating the walls. Glittery streamers were strung up and absurd posters depicting crude drawings of Eric as Cupid were plastered around. It looked like Valentine's Day exploded and no nook or cranny was spared. He could hear girls gossiping about their crushes and quiet whispers of boys betting on each other to get kissed by the end of the day.

"Woah, dude, who's that for?" Stan questions timidly as Kyle shoves a red, heart-shaped box into his locker.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about, Stan." Kyle feigns ignorance as he tries to compose himself, pushing his wire-framed glasses up his nose. Stan thought they were cute.

"No way. Someone gave it to you?" Stan looks at him, bewilderment on his face.

"Who's it for, Kyle?" Stan presses on, confused as to why he didn't want to answer.

"No one's, alright?" He groaned in embarrassment, blood rushing up his neck already. Before Stan could get another word in, the bell rang for class.

"Just drop it, okay? We have to go to class anyways, and I don't want to be late."

"Okay, bro, whatever you say," Stan holds two hands up in defeat.

"C'mon then." He takes Kyle's hand and pulls him along the hallway, failing to notice Kyle's lovesick smile.

"You're still coming over after work, right?" Kyle implored, mumbling at the back of Stan's head.

"Count on it."

It's hard to focus on Mr. Garrison's lesson on quadratic equations when Stan's stomach feels like a bunch of frogs jumping around.

He's always felt like this around Kyle. He was always happy to see him, the sight of this green hat was familiar, comforting. It made the glacial early mornings a little more tolerable. This morning, however, was a little different. Stan was dying to know who the box was for. The thought of Kyle giving his love away was hurting him. Furthering his distress was the thought of someone confessing to Kyle and him accepting.

Oh god. Stan thought, burying his head into his notebook.

Stan was relieved he didn't drop the vase of pink carnations due to his sweaty palms as the door swung open.

"For you, Sheila." Stan greeted her, presenting the flowers.

"Oh, goodness, Stan these are just beautiful! Thank you! Come inside, sweetheart, Kyle's just in his room." She smothered him a hug and ushered him inside. He almost wondered what it would be like to be her son-in-law, but he hastily shoved that thought from his mind.

He stepped inside, taking his sneakers off and setting them by the door. He said his hellos to Gerald and Ike before heading up the stairs to Kyle's room.

"Hey, dude." Stan poked his head through the door before opening it fully. Kyle's head lifted from his homework. The room was lit only by his green banker lamp and a vanilla-scented candle on his dresser.

"Hey Stan, how was work?"

"Pretty good. Someone adopted that golden retriever I was talking about last week." Stan replied. He'd been working part-time at the local pet shop.

"Aw, how nice. Glad they've found a home." Kyle's eyes were twinkling gems in the lamplight as he shoved his homework away. Stan wishes he could ogle at them all day long.

"You're nicer." Kyle's head snapped to him, wondering if his ears were damaged, if he really heard him right.

Stan thrust his hand into his coat pocket before he could weasel out.

"I got something for you. I know it's a little late, but I didn't want Cartman to see it. Happy Valentine's Day."

Abashedly, he handed him a thin, rectangular box.

"Holy fuck, Stan, you didn't have to! The card you gave me in class is enough for me."

Stan stayed silent as Kyle's fingers traced around the black crushed velvet. He opened the box and let out a soft gasp. It was beautiful. A 14k gold Star of David pendant. It was shaped like a coin, the star embedded in the center. The round edge was braided like a rope. The chain was a thin Cuban link. Kyle was at a loss for words. He quickly swiped at his eyes, not wanting the tears to drop.

"Flip it over." Stan urged.

"SM & KB?" Kyle's voice trembled as he traced the engraving on the delicate surface. He refused to blink, he didn't want the tears that were stored to cascade down his cheeks.

"Us." Stan finished as he walked over, taking the pendant from his hands. He twirled Kyle around in his office chair.

"May I?"

"Please."

Kyle felt Stan's fingertips dance at the nape of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat. Stan made sure to keep his touch sparse and gentle, in fear he might scare him away.

"I got it because it reminded me of you," Stan confessed, remembering Kenny's various suggestions. "I thought it'd look nice on you. I was sorely mistaken,"

A sound escaped Kyle's mouth as he whipped around with a hurt expression, but Stan quickly finished his sentence.

"You look stunning, Ky."

Kyle could have sworn he had died a kind death and was levitating towards heaven if not for Stan tucking a stray curl out of Kyle's vision. He was close enough to see the candle's flame reflecting in his eyes. Kyle always thought Stan's eyes were so blue it was fucking ridiculous. Like the ocean, he could feel the water pulling him under, a powerful spell.

Their noses were almost touching now. Kyle could smell the delicate rose scent of Stan's laundry detergent. Stan braced both his hands on the chair's armrests, effectively caging Kyle in. There was no way of escape, but he didn't mind.

"Kyle." Stan's breathy tone made his body tingle.

"Yes?"

"Recently, I found that I love you. But, I think I always have." Stan stepped back only to pull Kyle up from his seat. He grasped one of his hands and placed it up where his heart was.

"You feel it?" Stan's heart was thrumming under his fingers.

"I feel like it's always beating for you. I didn't know why my heart always went crazy when you said nice things to me, or when we'd have dinner with our families together, or when we'd go stargazing, just you and me. But, now I know it's because you're important to me and I want you in my life forever."

Kyle raised his unoccupied hand to cup Stan's cheek. "Promise you want me?" He thought his heart was beating just as fast as his, too.

"Want you? I need you."

Their yearning lips met, ravenous for one another. Stan's hands found themselves roaming underneath Kyle's loose Grateful Dead sweater, pulling his lithe waist as close as possible. Kyle's were threaded in Stan's hair, desperately, so much so that they didn't hear Sheila come in.

"I bought you boys some cookies-" She started, but she was frozen mid-sentence, astonished.

"MA!" "Oh shit!" The two exclaimed, flying apart from themselves like they were burned.

Guilt and embarrassment were clear to see on their faces, Sheila saw quite well even in the dimly lit room.

There was a lengthy stillness in the room that felt like forever when really it was more like a minute. Stan refused to look at anything but the floor, Kyle was trying to get Stan to look at him, and Sheila was looking at them both. She decided to break the silence.

"Do you boys need condoms as well or-"

"Ma!" They were all in varying degrees of embarrassment and apology.

"We can talk about this whenever you're ready, bubie." She said patiently, giving her son a peck on the forehead. She gave Stan a knowing smile and set the plate of chocolate chip cookies on Kyle's desk, leaving the room. It was just the two of them again.

They examined each other, both smiling ear to ear. No words were needed as Kyle grabbed two cookies, one for him and the other for Stan. They were eating the cookies and sitting on his bed when Kyle remembered.

"Oh!" Kyle went over to his backpack and rummaged a bit before he pulled out the red box. He held it out to Stan.

"For me?" Stan was dumbfounded, cookie crumbles on the corner of his mouth.

Kyle giggled and rolled his eyes, "Yes, dumbass, now open it!"

Stan couldn't fucking believe this. God, he's perfect. Stan was ready to thank every god for Kyle. In the heart-shaped box was a golden chain bracelet. It had two charms; one was a heart with a keyhole shape in the middle, another was the left side of a heart.

He thought he could combust into tears at any moment. He looked towards Kyle who beamed at him and held up his right arm. He pulled his sleeve down to reveal another gold chain bracelet. A key charm and the right side of a heart to match with his own.

"They're magnets," Kyle bought their bracelets together and the two halves connected forming a full heart.

"My other half." Stan grew teary, interlocking their hands.

"You're so sappy," Kyle said before kissing him again.

[cacklingblobbittyrabbitty]

unhinged rainbow magic post 7 of 12

We started having yet more opinions by the time we reached these bitches let me tell you but it’s gonna get worse from here!

PETAL FAIRIES (not flower fairies cos I guess that was already copyrighted by that woman with the delightful drawings Cecily Hodgeson? Idk)

Tia YES I Actually Love This Looks like a tulip! The vibes are on point Colour scheme is delightful Caramel hair is finally working So simple but works so well Timeless but still got them 2000s vibes hell yeeeaaaahhhh

Pippa You can either do the hairdo OR the headband NOT THE COMBINATION You need a scrunchie, not a headband Once again the poppy vibes are splendid Are they all gonna have the same boring-ass ballet flat shoes? That being said I do like the flowers on the shoes Necklace is TOO BIG and looks like a WOUND, get the war images out of here jesus Dress is cute tho plus the massive waistband actually works here!

Louise The combination of colours? Green and pink? Are you a fimble bitch? White and green would have really worked so why the pink bro??? The necklace looks like its eating her. It’s a lot.  Halter neckline + massive waistband that somehow makes it an empire waistline + leggings under a dress Knee high boots! So from the waist down she’s pulling it off Leggings + boots = spies vibes which is a compliment well done Louise DIFFERENCE OF OPINION - hair my friend: not the worst but I hate the flower and overall it’s not helping the look me: colour works, I like the flower especially if you get rid of the necklace, hairdo is so 2000s and she’s rocking it

Charlotte Still kinda gay hmm Why is the sunflower fairy so blue? Is it meant to be the sky? This is the One Time they’ve fucked up dark hair (so far anyways lol) The outfit is a vibe but it’s so meh (ig could be worse tho) Colour combination isn’t horrific it’s just… interesting I can’t tell whether the blue trousers, brown belt, and yellow flats works or not Very 2000s - low waist, flares, big flower belt, crop top Necklace is too big AGAIN! The petals are unproportional bro! You’ve got some baby sunflowers that haven’t been loved adequately going on here! There is too much brown and not enough yellow! But like overall why is there more brown and blue than yellow? Have they ever seen a fuckin sunflower??????????

Olivia I LOVE THE HAIR it’s a yes from us luv This is how you don’t fuck up a headband! This is how u use a scrunchie! Most detailed belt we’ve ever seen Really like the colour scheme - delightful surprising lil bit of yellow Pink vest? We’d lilac instead but keep the shoes pink The very existence of this vest looks like she got dresscoded bruh Shoes are adorable! This is necklace that could work IF IT WAS SMALLER currently it looks like a starfish is attached to her neck lmaoooooo

Danielle Primary school teacher vibes (wraparound shawl, long bead necklace, the pose) - she definitely lives vicariously through the four year olds she teaches Double necklace????? Is it Necessary????? (it’s a pasta necklace painted pink) Ballet flats are back! The skirt/dress is delightful but the cardigan is Not, a lil yellow belt would be better holy fuck Why is the hair teaching me maths? I like the length and style of her hair but the colour is off because the cardigan is too goddamn yellow

Ella LOOK AT ALL THAT PINK I’d honestly prefer a darker pink or even burgundy though, my childhood internalised misogyny is rearing its ugly head here Ballet shoes for bad bitches! This is the SECOND petal fairy to be unintentionally empire-waistlined by her massive belt Can the petal fairies please stop wearing entire flowers as necklaces please? How about a singular petal each? You don’t need an entire fuckin flower! Skirt looks twirlable tho yayy Really like the waviness of the hair yeeeee and the colour is cute

[livinglifeonpause]

Build Up - Pre-4 Mission

Pre-4 Mission why do they have Baekho on here? Like get Bumzu ffs. IF YOU V10: Lee Geonwoo (22) (JustB) - 2 >2 (pinky hair) V2: Jay Chang (22) (ONEPACT) - 8.5 > 8 V7: Kang Hayoon (20) (Loud) 7 > 5 - (mullet cut, yellow sweater vest) V21: Hong Sungwon (25) (solo?) 7 >5.5 (black and white checks, red hair, cute eyes, nice ass jawline) - If anyone is gonna try to do Taeyang, I think Jay Chang was a good choice. - Sungwon was fine, not really here for pinky (Geonwoo). TOP TIER: Jay Chang was the correct choice LOW TIER: Geonwoo. correct choice as well AFTER AWHILE

V31: Jang Intae (26) (nothing) 1 > 5 (white sweater vest) V1: Seunghun (24) (CIX) 4 > X (my babbbyyyyy) V21: Hong Sungwon (25) (solo?) 7 > 8 (blue sweater) V3: Bain (22) (JUST B) 9 > 6 (bright ass orange hair. OH I DID NOT expect this kid to be this kid.) - YAASSSSS EAT Seunghunnie baby! - omg, who is that in the light ass blue. he is CUTE! (Taehwan) - okay, but why is Sungwon even doing this show? he 100000% just needs to be in musicals. - dying at Baekhos shady ass facials - didn’t love this song for Seunghun though - does Seunghun KNOW how pretty he is? TOP TIER: Seunghun ….. I would have picked Sungwon honest, but I support this. LOW TIER: Hong Sungwon - OH! My baby Seunghun PLAYING THE GAME! okay! - also the homie with glasses LOOOOOVES him - ALSO WTF! Since when he got braces? DONT GO, DONT GO V34: Park Jeup (30) (Imfact) 8 > 10 ( V20: Lee Donghun (30) (A.C.E.) 6 > 10 ( V33: Neon (23) (nothing) 1 > 10 ( V22: Hyukjin (30) (100%) 7 > 9 ( - okay real talk, I’ve MISSED Jeup’s laugh! - so Donghun is really handsome! I’ve just never noticed cause Chan and Jun were up in my face. - wonder how Jeup felt having Hyukjin join? He’s fucked with him before on the unit. - YASSSSSS giving Donghun his screen time!!!! - Jeup has effing BULKED up. - SAME BAEKHO, SAME! “His Voice!” - honest, how the fuck would you pick top tier? I’m downloading this. - 3 Donghun, 2 Neon, 1 Jeup TOP TIER: DONGHAN - honestly, I support that! - how THE FUCK is he gonna choose low tier?? AHHHH FUCKING SUBS! LOW TIER: Hyukjin - accurate.

SHALL I LOVE YOU AGAIN V18: Kim Seohyung (22) (musicals) 2 > 3 (black blazer) V16: Kim Seong jeong (24) (nothing) 1 > 3 (tan pants, funny face) V40: Yeo One (27) (Pentagon) 2 > 2 (pentagon kid) V23: Yun Inhwan (32) (solo - ENAN) 4 > 2. (smiley one) - ma'am that kid is 32, why he acting all cutesy?? - I'm not really here for low voices.... so I'm not expecting much. - that one kid is too baby face to have a voice that low.- Seohyung. It's like, fine though - smiley kid still smiling - yeo one, pass. BORING - this song is so boring, fuck me. dead. END ALREADY. judges hated it too. - fucking love eunkwang. his faaaaace. TOP TIER: Kim Seong jeong. I pick Kim Seohyung. but honestly, it doesnt matter AT ALL. LOW TIER: Kim Seohyung - yeah thats fine

DITTO V12: Wumuti (24) (Solo?) 8 > 6 (orange hair, weird face/eyes) V11: Jeon Woong (26) (AB6IX) 3 > 4 (black and wht checkered) V37: Kang Seokhwa (23) (Wei) 7 > 4 (whiteish hair) V30: Jung Soomin (19) (Solo) 4 > 7 (english sleepy one) - kid, COMMIT to that intro bro - not really here for the Wei kid (Seokhwa).... ohhh but wait, he asked the Wumuti kid if he was okay and that was nice - they already focusing wayyyyyy to much on Wumuti so that means he gonna win. - AB6IX "ra ta ta" soooo boring. - but also that one kid (in the light tan/white coat) dancing and the other kid (in the tan coat) just staring at him. HAAAAAAAA! - Wumuti has really good energy though. This song is just like meh though. Wish he had picked different TOP TIER: Wumuti.... idk, Wumuti or Jung Soomin. doesn't matter, hated the song choice. stupid ass song for a SINGING show. bruh, Wumutifeels so fake though. LOW TIER: Jeon Woong - that's fine. I dont care.

TOMBOY V19: Lee Gwangseok (25) (solo) 1 > 4 (tan coat) V15: Park Juhee (17) (trainee) 1 > 6 (pink jacket) V29: Hwang Inhyeock (25) (Nada) 3 > 6 (yellow sweater) V26: Jo Hwanji (28) (Musicals) 3 > 5 (uniform) - not looking forward to this one?? - omg, this Taehwan kid from Vanner in the baby blue? Gorge. - this is a pretty song - okay! they got me! the combo worked. and the kids surprised me!! - TOP TIER: Juhee... i would also pick Juhee! - this was my 2nd fave after the Jeup one LOWTIER: Lee Gwangseok .... correct

SOMETHING LIKE THAT V35: Kwon Euibin (24) (Idol Band) 4 > 5 (white shirt, black bowl cut) V25: Ma Jaekyung (27) (Romeo) 3 > 4 (white shirt, black wave hair) V13: Taehwan (30) (Vanner) 9 > 7 (handsome boy) V9: Lee Minwook (23) (NewKidd) 4 > 5 (blue vest)

- wait, what competition did Taehwan win??? - songs too effing LOW - blue vest has a rich voice or something TOP TIER - Lee Minwook..... i'd say Taehwan LOW TIER: Ma Jaekyung

BREATHE V5: Lim Junhyeok (30) (Ex-Day6) 1 > 2 (Day 6 kid) V8: Choi Haram (22) (Musicals) 2 > 6 (pinstripes) V6: Jeong Inseong (29) (KNK) 5 > 6 (tan/white) V38: Lee Hwanhee (25) (UP10TION) 3 > 5 (tan coat) - KNK kid is GOOFY (Inseong) - Day6 kids rubs me the wrong way. always has. bossy ass. voice isnt even that good ass. (Lim Junhyeok) - Haram kinda looks like Feel Dog TOP TIER - Haram .... I vote KNK kid Inseong LOW TIER: Lim Junhyeok - why did they edit this dramatic and to be like a surprise??? DELCAMOME V36: Bitsaeon (28) (M.O.N.T) 5.5 > 3 (colored sweater) V24: Ji Yeonwoo (??) (nothing) 7.5 > 4 (black suit) V17: Choi Suhwan (22) (X101) 3 > 4 (white w/ rhinestones) V4: Sunyoul (27) (UPT10TION) 2 > 2 (black like my scarf) - okay kids, lets bring it - wasn't Yeonwoo's voice better then all of theirs? the fuck are they teaching him for? - ewww. this song is fucking dumb. - I still dislike Sunyoul, but i'm into his stage presence - THE FUCK ASRE THE RAPPING FOR. this is so fucking dumb. - no one wins. this is like worse then the pentagon boring ass one? TOP TIER - Choi Suhwan.... me, none. pass. - I wanna go back and watch The Unit. That was such a good show. - I love the Eunkwang & Jaehwan interactions... like they respect each other LOW TIER: Ji Yeonwoo -meh BEAUTIFUL V28: Taewoo (26) (solo) 5 > 1 (smooshed face) V39: Kim Minseo (21) (nothing) 4 > 4 (grayish sweater) V32: Jeong Yunseo (??) (nothing) 2 > 3 (white sweater) V14: Lim Sanghyun (26) (solo?) 5 > 6 (checked suit) - smoosh face does not fit into this song with these kids. he's way too harsh. it's jarring (Taewoo) - I want to see checked suit Sanghyun in a different group TOP TIER: Sanghyun ... Sanghyun obvi. - THE FUCK DID THE SUBS GO? LOW TIER: Kim Minseo

[melancholybliss92]

Bruh I'm not done with My rant yet. This girl said a long long time ago when that brown diarrhea bitch in Kansas try to contact the 40 yr old and he never answer. That was her hint it's done. She would have tried to contact him again in 2020 when she deleted all pics with her druggie bf in Kansas. They said she would have snooped on the other guys page and saw he's with someone smarter younger and more successful which is me. They all said she knows her place that's why they never talk again . She's in clear denial one of her flings found someone with a fit body, hot young and successful while she stuck in Kansas living with in a piece of shit apartment with a younger white dirty White dude who does not buy her expensive gifts. She has to lie and front and make corny posts about him to keep him because she knows No One else will want to be with her. The 40 yr old said this chick looks like a man, smokes weed, staying at a dead end job and she is fat and hiding her body, she has no real hobbies except eat food and she lies. She doesn't have pics of her working out or showing her body but he said she keep saying she work out. Her fling which is the guy I'm with. He said she was keeping him as a back up because if she was happy with the current boy she wouldn't try to contact him years ago in 2018 or 2019. He said she been doing that trick since 2016 before she ran away to Kansas. They met at work. They didn't talk for months. He said outta nowhere she would message him on Facebook chat saying hey. He said years ago when he got the random text from an unknown number its 100% her. He said thats already weird she with the white boy in kansas but she try to reach out to him. He never ever answer. He didn't even save her number but she saved his . That's sad as shit . She in Denial making up fairy tales saying if she comes back the 40 yr old will wife her lmaoo. He knew she was moving to Kansas back In 2016. He didn't stop her once time lmao. If he wanted to wife her, he would have stopped her from moving to Kansas back in 2016. She hinted to him she needed a room mate. He didn't help her. Bitch is crazyyy. If he wanted to marry her he would have gotten a place in Philly and message her to come back. Nobody wants her ugly ass in philly she failed and ran away to Kansas. Now she making endless lies like guys want her and she's the one that left. He even said her cousin got her the job and she was in her cousins apartment in kansas first. He said she can't do anything on her own .

I told him I'm moving to another apartment back in 2021. He stop me and said he's getting a house come move in with him . That 50 yr old looking Italian transvestite is crazyyyyyy. He stopped me from moving but he didn't stop her.

She fucked up she lost a good guy now she stuck in a apartment in Kansas with a younger dude who doesn't buy her expensive gifts like the 40 yr old. If she thinks paying $100 insurance is expensive and OLD computer parts is expensive. Wait till the fat bitch sees what he buy me .

He pay half my rent. He didn't do that with her to get her to stay. $1500 laptop, half $450 rent. $500 necklace. $1600 hotel. $1000 car parts. $400 tires. $150 sketches shows. $65 nike shoes. $half 1300 lasik, I paid half $1500. The list goes on. He got me a recent $200 pink gaming keyboard it goes on and on.

[sukirichi]

— the other side

request:  BRUH YOUR SWIMSUIT SHOPPING WITH JJK IS GOD LEVEL 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 I think you wrote Gojo perfectly 🥺 Could I pretty please request FaceTime sex with Gojo 🤩 Like maybe Gojo’s away on a mission and he really misses reader and he’s needy so he calls her and has her put the phone down in front of her and tells her what to do 😳

warnings: nsfw, mutual masturbation, facetime sex, dirty talk (+unedited fic)

note: i actually wasn’t sure if i could write this well since i’m not the best at dialogue, but i tried my best and i hope you like it anon! thank you for the request! dinner has been served!

masterlist ! 

Ruined. He’s absolutely ruined you.

You pull your fingers out of your clenching hole, your cheeks sweaty as you pant against your pillow. Hole clenching around nothing at the sudden emptiness, your chest heaves up and down with the gnawing dissatisfaction that you could no longer cum yourself; could no longer feel pleased unless it’s Gojo doing it for you.

Before you know it, a single tear flows down until it collects besides your lips. Hands rubbing against your tired eyes, you sigh at the clock blaring 2:19 AM mockingly at you.

It’s two in the fucking morning – and you haven’t cum ever since Gojo left for work.

Your fingers just wasn’t enough; could never be enough compared to his magical tongue and long dick that absolutely drives you into with so much need, large hands grappling against your soft mounds for leverage while he pounds himself into you.

It’s not the same without him. It’s been four long days ever since Gojo left for work; four torturous days that you’ve done everything you could to get off, only to keep failing after hours of humping your pillow or doing all the work with the cute pink dildo you got just for days he wouldn’t be around. It never ends well. Your wrist would only cramp or your thighs would ache afterwards, but you never came.

Perhaps that’s one of the consequences of being greedy and wanting to keep Gojo Satoru all to yourself. In return, he’s also stolen you of the privilege of fucking yourself.

Arm sprawled over your face, your breathing begins to regulate. Your legs are still wide open, arousal leaking from your disappointed cunt. You were ready, so ready for Gojo to come home and just fuck you silly.

You hate yourself for being this way, hate that your lips are trembling because you miss him so much and you’re actually crying all because you feel so empty without him buried within you.

It’s stupid, so fucking stupid, but you can’t help it.

You turn around to your side and hug his pillow closer to your body, breathing in his scent. It helps to calm you down a bit and even reassures you you’re not really alone; he’d come back in a few days and you’ll have him all to yourself again.

It’s been a long day, and the days just keep stretching over with the fact you’ve pretty much masturbated everywhere but still never got to come. A wave of exhaustion washes over you, your eyelids growing heavy at the same time you wrap one leg around Gojo’s pillow. His musky scent still remains, almost mocking that he’s never really away from you, but the dull aching deep within your pussy says otherwise.

You’re so helpless without him.

Just as you’re about to gaze off into to dreamland, your phone blares from your bedside table. You don’t waste another second before scrambling off the bed to get it, nearly falling off if you hadn’t grasped on to the sheets hard enough.

Gojo’s contact name of baby with a heart emoji flashes on the screen. Out of reflex, your entire body responds. Palms sweaty, lips puckered, pussy fluttering and nipples peaking – it’s embarrassing how your body reacts to him strongly. If he was here and he saw the way you open yourself up to him, Gojo would laugh while knuckle deep in you, teasing that you’re so eager for him and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

You quickly swipe right to answer, the grin on your face large and beaming when his handsome face greets you. “Satoru,” you smile, leaning back on the pillows to make yourself comfortable. “I missed you.”

There’s no lie about that. He’s still so handsome with one arm propped underneath him, hair down in messy strands and his eyes free from the blindfold, allowing you to witness the magic that pooled within that beauty. Satoru is now wearing a plain white shirt in exchange of his usual dark uniform, his bicep flexing under his weight, but you’re more focused on how his eyes crinkle once he finally saw your pretty face.

You could tell he misses you just the same.

“Hey, baby,” he coos through the call, and his low, husky voice immediately sends chill down your spine. The cold air bites at your exposed cunt and you shudder; you already know you’re wet again. It’s still ‘yesterday’ where he’s at, meaning that he’d have to leave for work after three hours or so as the sun begins to rise, while you’d still be slumbering at peace.

Or at least, sleep as comfortably as you could with countless failed orgasms.

“I missed you too,” Satoru sighs. His eyes droop for a moment, and he sees the way you open your lips, ready to tell him to get some more rest instead of calling you. Satoru only presses a finger to his lips, eyes glinting playfully at your awaiting gaze. “I’m fine, baby, don’t worry about me. I just needed to hear your voice.”

Your heart skips a beat at that. You’ve always known that Satoru is flirty, and even though he isn’t exactly being too flirty right now, the mere thought of him wanting to hear your voice before he sleeps does wondrous leaps to your wavering heart.

“Me too,” you confess in a small voice, tugging up the sheets under the chin as you grow more and more shy with each passing second. “It hasn’t been the same without you, Toru. I can’t…I can’t be myself when you’re not here.”

Satoru, despite being an absolute dumb fuck all the time, isn’t stupid when it comes to that tone of your voice. He nods once and presses the phone closer to his face, voice low and serious. “What’s wrong, baby? Do you want to talk to me about it?”

Yes and no. You seriously debate whether it’s best to tell him that you can’t cum without him, simply because he’s always so much better and feels perfect compared to your nimble fingers that barely even stretch you. On the other side, you don’t want to keep him up too late, plus phone sex… well, you haven’t really done it before. Just imagining showing yourself bare to Satoru through the camera already makes your body feel warmer than it already it is. He’s seen you naked hundred of times before, but the idea that he could record it…

You swallow audibly and look away from him. Your cunt is already gushing as you imagine Satoru recording the way you lose yourself as he buries his cock into your hilt, but it’s a different thing if you could both masturbate to the thought of each other.

“Babe,” Satoru cuts off your train of thoughts, “You feel frustrated too, don’t you? I’ve never hated my fist as much as I do now.”

Your head snaps to his direction so fast Satoru laughs at your crazed reaction, and the sound only increases when you start babbling to him. “Y-you,” you shake your head in disbelief, “You too? You can’t cum too? I mean, I’ve done everything I could, I even got a dildo but it’s not enough, Toru, it’s never enough, I need you so bad.”

You don’t care that you’re whining at this point. Satoru doesn’t give a damn either because he’s already palming his erection through his sweatpants from the other side of the world, jaw clenching as he imagines you doing lewd things without him.

“Aw, my poor baby,” he teases you, making you pout and hide under the sheets with only your eyes peeking through. “It’s okay, I’ve got you now,” his voice drops an octave lower, eyes darkening as lust consumes both your body. “Just be a good girl and follow my instructions, okay? I’ll make you feel good. We’ll make each other feel good. It’ll feel like I never left, okay?”

“O-okay,” you nod shakily, still unsure of what to do. “Is there-?”

“Yeah,” Satoru grunts as he whips his cock free from his confines, hips jutting forward now that his hand is wrapped around it. He sighs at the relief of finally getting his chance to cum. He understands your situation; his cock won’t even come close to the warmth of your tight pussy clenching on him. “Show me yourself, pretty girl. Show me those pretty pink lips of yours,” Satoru places his phone somewhere on the table near his bed, pushing his sweatpants down until his cock slaps against his underbelly, the tip red and leaking.

You gasp at how lewd he looks. The sheets are absolutely crumpled beneath him, and you clench your thighs at the sight of Satoru wrapping his hands around his large, angry cock with his eyes staring straight directly at the camera.

“Come on, baby, don’t be shy,” he rasps, “I want to see you, want to hear you. You’ll let me hear those beautiful moans, won’t you?”

When his hups jut forward to meet the tight grip of his hands, something inside you snaps. Breath shaky and legs trembling, you throw your sheets off to the side and get your phone stand before setting it up at your bedside table, making sure to tilt the camera downwards before you lean back onto the bed. You’re already naked underneath Satoru’s large shirt, and it doesn’t take much as you spread your legs eagerly for him, using two lips to spread your lips open even without his command.

Satoru groans at your arousal leaking down the sheets and making a mess. He pumps himself harder, smirking at how your heavy breathing is all he could hear. “So fucking pretty,” he praises, “Now put two fingers in your pussy for me, baby girl. Stretch yourself open so I can see how much you miss my cock.”

Obedient as ever, you do as you’re told, letting out a shuddered moan when your two fingers go past your walls without resistance. You’re wet, so fucking wet for him, but you want him. “Satoru,” you whine, pushing your fingers deeper and deeper and pulling them out for friction. Your walls clench around your digits and you start imagining that it’s his long fingers buried into you this time; getting off to his image and relishing in how Satoru is moaning your name. “Miss you baby,” you cry out, hands trailing up to squeeze your nipples. “I want you so bad.”

“Me too, baby, me too,” the sound of Satoru’s slick running up and down his shaft, along with his low groans, are like music to your ears. Your moan grows louder when you open your eyes and see that his muscles are flexing as he fucks his hand eagerly, his gaze focused on the way you’re shuddering around your own digits. “Another one. Add another one.”

Shakily, you add another one, your head falling back at the welcomed intrusion. It’s still not enough, but it’ll do for now.

You just imagine that it’s his cock inside you instead, each vein prominent as the ridges of your wall hug him completely. Satoru replaces his hand with your pussy as well, that the fist running down his dick is you bouncing on his cock instead. He can already picture the way your breasts bounce in front of him and Satoru shudders, “Tits,” he growls, “I want to see your fucking tits. Want to feel them on my hands,” Satoru chuckles at how eagerly you lift your shirt up to show him the beaded nipples, teeth biting down on the material with your hands still knuckle-deep in your pussy.

“Fuck, you’re always so pretty, babe.”

“Miss you,” you keep crying out, words muffled through the shirt you’re biting. You pinch your nipple at the same time you rapidly finger yourself, your pussy squelching and the sounds pornographic as it echoes all the way to Satoru’s phone. You miss him so fucking much that it’s unreal. There’s no more self control when your back hits the bed, hips lifting off the bed and giving Satoru a clearer view of your juices dripping down your ass.

Satoru can’t resist the way his balls tighten, desperate to have you right next to him so he can fuck your brains out already. He wishes he could come home and be in your warmth, be in your embrace, but he’s still got curses to kill that fucking you would just have to wait much to both parties’ displeasure.

Sweat is beading down his forehead as he watches you thrash around your bed, his cock only growing harder and a low growl emanating from his throat when you keep moaning satoru, satoru, satoru, I love you so fucking much.

“I love you too,” he manages to say in shaky breaths. “You’re so perfect for me – fuck.”

You push yourself off the edge by pulling your lips aside and pinch at your clit. At that, your back arches off the bed, making your fingers dig deeper into you and for a split second, you manage to hit your g-spot. Satoru can tell you’re close by the way your legs spasm and he encourages you, spitting down his cock as he pumps his fist around his length almost angrily.

“That’s good, baby, keep going, keep going,” his teeth clenches when you nod, tears falling down your pretty cheeks. “Want to fuck you so good – I’d have you screaming around my neck while I take you from behind and shove your face down the pillow,” you moan in response, the sound high pitched and almost whiny. Satoru chuckles before he cuts himself off with a hiss, his balls tightening and his cock throbbing already. “Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You want me to fuck your ass when I get home?”

“Yes, yes, please,” your belly tightens at the thought of Satoru stretching your tight hole, even better if he pulls at your hair while his hips slam at the flesh of your ass.

Rubbing your clit fervently, Satoru’s name comes out as a broken cry as your orgasm chokes you. The tears are staining your cheeks the same way your cum is making a mess on the sheets, and you grind down harder on the sheets, scissoring yourself just to extend your orgasm.

“Satoru,” you whine, “Fuckkk.”

“I’m close, baby, I’m-” Satoru falls forward when his cock shoots out thick ropes of cum, some of them landing on his abdomen and one sticks to his chin. Your pupils blow wide with lust as you shudder around your fingers while riding down your high, in disbelief that Satoru is cumming so much.

He’s shameless as he continues thrusting into his fists. You’re worried he would overuse his strength and beat his cock to death, but Satoru only chuckles as he keeps pumping his cock, his cum overflowing and pooling down his thick thighs.

“Shit,” he mumbles to himself, falling in the same state as you when he drops down on the bed. His dick begins to turn limp but it’s still twitching, turning a dark shade of pink as he beats his dick almost lazily the time. The both of you take a moment to breathe at the orgasm; not as mind blowing as the ones you’d get if he was there rutting into you instead, but because he’s there, you’re still left with the aftershocks of pleasure.

Wiping the arousal left on your hands on your shirt, you grab your phone and fall into your pillows, cheeks squished and eyelashes fluttering slowly. “Toru,” you call out softly, “You asleep?”

“I want to come home already,” is all he says. He’s still half-passed out in his bed and you laugh, rubbing your thighs together and grimacing when it starts to stick together from your cum. Glancing at Satoru’s form, you dash to the bath to clean yourself up by washing away the cum, coming back to see that Satoru was also in the middle of cleaning his cum with napkins.

“Facetime sex,” he laughs to himself with a shake of his head, mirroring your form by langind on his pillows. He looks absolutely adorable with his lips puckered out like that, azure blue eyes drooping close. “I miss you, babe. I promise when I come home I’m going to fuck you endless.”

You chuckle at his words, wondering how he’s able to say such suggestive things when he’s seconds away from passing out due to exhaustion. Your eyelids grow heavy as well, and along with the light blanket of satisfaction and post-orgasm bliss, the only thing that wouldn’t make this a good night of sleep is the fact Satoru isn’t next to you. Nevertheless, you’re grateful that Satoru took the time to call you despite his busy schedule.

Your heart flutters when Satoru lazily calls you baby, mumbling on and on about how much he misses you. Now that he’s come down from his high, he’s reverting into his big baby self.

His eyes are closed and he’s burying himself deeper into his pillows. You’re about to say goodbye when Satoru lightly snores from the other line, a smile tugging at your lips when you see that he’s now blissfully asleep. Wishing that you could run your hands through his hair, at least, you kiss the screen in the hopes it’d reach him at least metaphorically.

“Sleep well, my love,” you whisper before swiping left to end the call.

Even through the other end of the line, on the other side of the world, Satoru’s worries and exhaustion are washed away with the love you send him.

[fluffy-papaya]

Hermits but I decide how Gender they are (in good faith and /lh fun).

Bdubs: unhinged ferret is a valid gender. How does he do That with his voice, that is so unbelievably unfair. +2 Gender Points for the bleached mohawk. 10/10 gender.

Cubfan135: lab coats are good. I don’t know if he’s bald or has a shaved head but either way it makes for a nice combo with the beard. 7/10 gender. Eboy (beloved? beloathed? befuddled). 8/10 gender.

DocM77: evil scientist furry???? Sign Me The Fuck Up. If I don’t look human do I have to have a Gender? I thought not. Also- once again, voice?? Points added for crocs. 9/10 gender.

Etho: Impeccable Gender Vibes. Mask, white hair, ‘what the Fuck is interaction’ combined makes for one hell of a vibe middle school me would’ve loved. Smart, and yet without a brain cell, like all the cool gender kids. 11/10 gender.

False: bruh. Sword??? Sword and steampunk goggles??? I have those things in my closet right now. There is something about the jacket that makes my gender vibes tingle. please tell me I’m not the only one. 8/10 gender.

Gem: cottagecore gal! The overalls and flower crown make me smile. She gives off a gender but not The Gender, y’know? 6/10 gender.

Grian: trash man. stinky little gremlin. Mischief is a gender and he has proved it, right after proving Shenanigan and Trouble. I gotta vibe with the sweater, but he refuses to change his hair :( 5/10 gender.

Hypno: trench coat and possible crop top. hell to the fuck to the yeah. 9/10 gender.

Impulse: I did not think dad vibes were a gender until him. Cargo shorts are valid and a respectable gender pant choice. Drummer. He could probably make an afk gender farm. 9/10 gender.

Iskall: :] 10/10 gender.

Jevin: Amorphous blob in a hoodie was yet another seventh grade gender goal tbh, so I think I gotta give points for that. 7/10 gender.

Joe Hills: I do not need to explain this one. 11/10 gender.

Keralis: not a gender :( eyes scary :( but he has assigned me ASAV (assigned sweetface at video) so I gotta give him a little credit. 2/10 gender.

MumboJumbo: Y’know, if the suit look wasn’t already hella gender, the utter buffoonery that is the jumbo man would make it. No one with a Gender has a single brain cell, so thank you Mr. Jumbo for the accurate rep. 7/10 gender.

Pearl: black hoodie and shorts, highlighted hair- no joke, this is the actual middle school Gender I did have, so thank you Ms. Moon for making it 3/3. Also the name is very gender of her. 9/10 gender.

Rendog: Ladies, gentleman, everyone in between, please rise for the most Gender Man on the server, Ren-Diggity-Dog! We got a ponytail! We got suspenders! We got ripped jeans! We got a furry! 100/10 gender.

Scar: Listen. Listen. I know it is meant to be a vest but I keep looking at Scar’s skin and thinking it’s a corset. Do you see my dilemma. Do you see my problem. Half-naked wizard and cowboy are also pretty awesome genders. I respect his refusal to put on a shirt. 10/10 gender.

Stress: Like she is with all things, Stress is a pro at gender. The pink cardigan and occasional bits of murderous rage really sell the show. 8/10 gender.

Tango: …do I need to say anything? Man has gender to a T (heh), but I gotta take points off for the bug eyes. 9/10 gender.

TFC: no gender vibes, only pickaxe. Maybe branch mining does count as a gender? 3/10 gender

Beef: big, buff, bloody. I’m swooning over the gender this man has. Also another voice with extreme Gender moments, don’t sleep on this man hermitblr! 8/10 gender.

Wels: who needs an assigned gender when you can have: full body armor! I wish I could banish my evil gender clone to hell with a rap battle. 7/10 gender.

xB: the casual outfit is pretty slick, I gotta admit. I respect the gender that comes with isolation as well. Plus! APAK (assigned princess by Keralis) adds some points for him. 6/10 gender.

Xisuma: shapeshifting doomguy is not exactly a gender I thought I would ever see but goddamn do I see it. The bee and axolotl skins are both on the gender spectrum but at opposite ends. Points taken off for reasons unrelated to gender, I just really hate that he likes egg on his pizza. 6/10 gender.

Zedaph: …okay, if I gathered up 100 people with Gender and asked them ‘hey would you like macaroni for hair’ I know for a fact at least 5 of them would say yes. Obligatory maid dress mention. Obligatory Create Mod skin mention. Gender lies with the unethical experiments of a socially awkward scientist. 8/10 gender.

ZombieCleo: [smacks zombie] wait that’s a terrible idea [lightly taps zombie] this gal can fit so much Gender in her. Being undead just really adds to the point pool here, guys! Sarcasm is a valid Gender Language that I gladly respect, right beside ‘flower crown’ and ‘striped socks’. 9/10 gender.

[clearlydiamondz]

Drug Lords

Erik!Stevens x Black!Reader

- - - - - - - - - -

Drug lord Erik Stevens have some dealings with his weapon supplier. He makes it known that no one is going to mess with her..

Warning: Smut, cursing, killing, 

- - - - - - - - - -

(Y/N) woke up at around 2:00 in the morning, her sleep was totally off. She went to bed around 10 but for some odd reason she couldn’t get to sleep. It was messing up her entire sleep schedule. She looked at her phone and saw that she had a text message from the one and only Erik Stevens. He sent a text over a little hour ago. She opened it.

Erik- you up?

She rolled her eyes. It’s been a couple of weeks since she last talked to him. She cussed him out when one of his little hoes had the nerves to hit her phone up after getting her number, saying how she was going to beat her ass when he find out who she was.

Little did she know who she really was...

She knew why he was texting her. It was a Friday night, he was most likely drunk and wanting to have sex. She’s not going to lie, she wanted some dick. And Erik sure as hell knew how to deliver it. She decided to text him back.

maybe, why ?

She grabbed her phone, slipping on one of her over sized T-Shirts and walked downstairs.

At the age of 24, (Y/N) ran her own ring. She moved and sold weaponry and technology to other lords, Erik being one of them. She made a lot of money, and made quite the reputation for herself. Erik respected that.

Erik- I’m pullin up,

She didn’t text him back. She gave him a keycard to her penthouse months ago whenever he wanted to come here and lay low.

She walked into her office, walking to her safe and grabbing her pink weed jar, wraps and her lighter. She walked back to the kitchen rolling a blunt. She heard the elevator coming up, before looking and seeing him step out. He had on a dark grey Nike sweat suit, a pair of white Nike Air Forces, and a black beanie.

“Why are you up?” he asked her placing his keys and wallet on the counter. She shrugged.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“So you decided to roll a blunt?” he asked leaning on the counter as she nodded.

“Yup, maybe this could help.” she smelled the liquor on him.

“How you get her so fast?” she asked him as he shrugged his shoulders.

“I was on my way when you texted me back.” he said.

‘What if I had someone over here?” she asked him tilting his head to the side as he rolled his eyes, smacking his teeth.

“(Y/N) stop fucking playing with me.” he told her as she scoffed.

“Whatever, I would offer you a drink but you seem a little tipsy.” she chuckled, bringing the blunt to her lips before lighting it. She took a breath letting the smoke fill before letting it out. Erik grabbed the blunt from her taking a puff of it, a longer  one than she.

“Damn this is good...” he coughed a bit before she tilted her head.

“So um, why are you here?” she asked him tilting her head to the side. “It’s not very usual that Erik tries to see the girl who cussed him out.” she said drinking from her water bottle.

“Well for one, I wanted to come by and see you. I’ve been texting your phone and you have been ignoring me.” he said as she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah... because I’m mad at you. I don’t need another one of your little bitches texting me.” she said in a matter of fact tone.

“Bruh I said, I don’t know how that bitch got into my phone, dead ass.” he said as she shook her head. “I’m being forreal. We did things a couple of months ago, I’m guessing she thought it was something more. She was over at JJ’s house while we were playing poker and I left my phone in kitchen. I’m guessing she saw the messages.. you know actually I think she saw the video of you playing in ya pussy and thought-” she hit him in the arm as he laughing.  

“I’m playin... but I still got that video.” he said. For some odd reason, him still having that video made her feel a little thump down there, but she couldn’t let him know that.

Erik did miss her.. like a lot. Nevermind the sex, he just loved being in her presence. In being without her for the past few weeks without her had a huge tole on him.

“Yeah because your a nasty ass nigga. That’s why.” she said taking the blunt from him, making her way back upstairs him following her. “You’re lucky I didn’t come by and shoot that bitch in her face.”

“Trust me.. you would’ve done been doing us both a favor.” he said. “Also, I want to make a deal with you. Word on the street you got some new weaponry, parts from Stark Industries.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe? Now that Tony is dead, government been trying to move his weapons. Straight disrespectful.” she said walking into her room. He took off his shoes and sweat shirt showing the white tank top, and his scars. “A couple of people interrupted the move, stole some equipment. Sold it on the black market,  I got my hands on some of the equipment. It was a hefty penny though. Making sure it couldn’t be tracked, tweaking it and shit. Costed me over 5 million for everything.” she said sitting on her bed taking a puff from the blunt. She was definitely starting to feel the high.

“How much you selling it for?”

“Well, I was able to make different things with it. So, depending on what it is. The lowest price I got so far is 250k.” she said handing him the blunt. He sat down in the recliner she had in her room.

“Damn,,”

“Yeah, I’ve already got people trying to do pre-orders but you know that’s not really my thing.” she said.

“So, will I be able to get my hands on a few.” he asked her as she laughed.

“Oh, your too funny. Just like everyone else, you need to come in contact with my team. Then I’ll see if you can get some of those products.” she responded. He kissed his teeth.

“Sorry, just because you’re the only client that I’ve had sex with doesn’t mean you can just get to me to get access or discounts.” she said. “If I thought with my Punani instead of my head with y’all niggas, I’d be broker than broke. No offense.”

“Yeah, you got a point.” she put the blunt on the night stand before standing up. She walked towards him, throwing her legs over him, sitting down in his lap before he leaned back placing his hands on her ass rubbing it.

“I’m guessing you missed me too.”

“Yeah, I guess I missed your big headed ass.” she sighed, as he gave her ass a slap. She jumped a bit before biting his lip. He forgot that she liked that.

She felt his dick pressing on her. “What you want from me, huh?” he asked her as they smirked each other. His plump lips was pouted and his eyes hang low, probably feeling a little high from the blunt. All she saw was a beautiful ass man, with a face she could use as a seat.

“I wanna ride your face.”

He raised an eyebrow at her as she smiled innocently at him. His mouth started to water at the thought of her pussy in his mouth. It was crazy how sweet she tasted, especially when she came. Tasted like honey and brown sugar.

He placed his hands under ass before standing up and walking to her bed. He placed her down before looking at her. He leaned down grabbing her by the con before leaning in for a kiss. The kiss was sweet and passionate. He really wanted to show her how much he missed her.

As they kissed, his hand trailed up the shirt coming into contact with her clothed wetness. He pulled them off with both hands still kissing her. His fingers found her clot rubbing it. His fingers were cold, she shivered at the coldness and the sensitivity. She moaned into the kiss as he pulled away.

“I’m barely touching you and your already breaking.” he chuckled. He sat down beside her before taking his shoes of then pulling her into his lap and laying back. “Come set that pussy on my tongue.” without a second thought, she lifted  her shirt, letting it sit over her ass as she placed herself on his tongue. Without hesitation, Erik had his tongue deep inside of her.

He could physically feel her squeezing himself around his dick making him moan, “Fuck daddy... eat my pussy just like that.” she whimpered out. He gripped her ass cheeks, squeezing one as she moaned.

She grinded her hips, riding his tongue as she threw her head back. He was trying to talk to her, but he had his mouth full.

He reached down, grabbing his dick palming it through his sweats. It was getting painful, and the restrictions of his sweatpants was not helping. She looked back and saw him touching his self before an idea popped into her head.  

“Hold up.” she lifted herself off before turning around. She hovered over his face, pulling the band from his sweatpants down. She pulled down the red and black Gucci boxers down freeing him as he winced. She looked at his dick before licking her lips. He was beautiful. Long and thick, pre cum dripping down the sides running down the veins. Within a split second, her lips wrapped around the tip, as her tongue swirled around it collecting all of his pre cum. She  moaned at the taste, he always tasted like fruit.

“Fuck.. don’t tease me. Put all of daddy in ya mouth.” he grunted. She followed his instructions before wrapping her hands around the base of his dick. She moved her hands slowly stroking as she sucked him.

“C’mon on daddy, keep eating my pussy..” she encouraged him as he moaned.

“Freaky ass.. I got you.” His lips wrapped her clit, sucking on it as she moaned around his dick. The feeling of giving and receiving pleasure at the same time wasn’t new to her, but her first time doing it, she knew that this wasn’t the last time doing it.

He was big, but she was determined to fit him all her in mouth. And she did just that. His dick was deep in her throat, she hummed in pleasure, the vibrations sent to him as he let out a deep  moan. “Fuck baby girl...” he moaned as she smiled. She leaned up, stroking him while rubbing along his hard dick, her spit dripping down to his balls.

He slowly thrusted into her hand as she smirked at his desperation. Finally, she had him like putty in her hands. She lifted up off of him before kissing him. She straddled his hips, his dick slightly rubbing against her pussy, the both of them moaning. She stood up, breaking away from her as she smiled.

She pulled the T-Shirt from her body before he stood up, taking off his clothes. She got down on her knees before looking up at him, batting her eyelashes at him. “You want daddy to fuck your throat. Huh?” he asked cupping her cheeks as she nodded. “No, say it.”

“I want daddy to fuck my throat.. pretty please.” she begged licking the tip as he threw his head bad.

“There you go, beg me. Open your fucking mouth.” he said. Her mouth was open and he inserted her mouth, before thrusting in and out of he mouth. She loved gagging on his dick, and she knew that he loved that sound.

He was talking, but she wasn’t paying attention. She was just focused on the attack on her throat. She snuck her hands down the front, inserting a finger in her wetness before moaning, her eyes rolling back as she fingered herself.

“Yeah, play with that wet ass pussy. I can hear that shit all the way from up here.” she looked up at him, holding his dick in her throat. He pulled out.

“There is no way I’m cumming like that.” he said before grabbing her by her face and lifting her up. He smashed his lips into her, the two of them kissing in sync. “Fuck me...” she whispered. In a swift movement, Erik pushed her on the bed, as she opened up her legs.

The wetness was smeared all on her inner thighs, the center glowing with her wetness as she smirked at him. “Fuck..” he grunted getting in between her legs. He kissed her, distracting her from her. He inserted her as she gasped.

“Shit daddy..” she moaned. Damn she was hella tight. “Fuck your too big.” she whispered throwing her head back. Erik kissed along her neck, to her chin, then placed a kissed on her lips.

“Quit all that, take this dick like a big girl. Ain’t ya first time, so take it.” he said slowly stroking her. Already, she was creaming on his dick.

“Mmm, daddy. Fuck me just like that.” she whimpered out as he smiled at her.

“Yeah.. that’s right. Take this dick in that tight ass pussy. Making a mess all over my dick.. disrespectful.” he grunted out. She bit down on her lip, opening her eyes meeting his. She clenched her self tighter just to get a reaction out of him. His eyes fluttered closed, as he clenched his jaw. She smirked. .

“Daddy don’t slow down, that shit feels too good.” she teased him. It pissed him off how fast she was about to cum.. way too fast. And she was teasing him about it.

“Come up here ride my shit, since you wanna be all bold and shit. Hurry that ass up.” They flipped over as Erik was on his back. She sat down on his dick moaning as it hit her walls.

“Shit.. just use my shit bitch. That’s it.” he grunted as she moaned. She was so close and he was too. Maybe it was just because of the way that they were fucking each other, or maybe it was because it’s been a minute since the last time they fucked, but the two of them were both on edge.

She leaned back opening her legs as she showing him going in and out of her. “Feels so good.” she whispered to herself.

“Yeah show me all that. Just nasty..” he grunted fucking up into her. He was cumming. There was no point in stopping or trying to hold back considering he was close. And by the look and feel of the things, she was close to. 

“Daddy...  I’ma gonna-” She was interrupted by him cumming deep inside her walls. He moaned out, digging his hands in her ass as she moaned out loud. She continued fucking him, chasing her own orgasm. 

“Fuck.. fuck.” he grunted out as she continued riding him. That’s when she squirted all over his stomach. She fell forward, her head resting in her neck as they stayed like that for a minute. 

“We need to go again.. that shit was-”

“Hold up.. I need to catch my breath. You know I got asthma.” she said as he laughed. 

“You need ya inhaler or something?”

“Nah, lemme just catch my breath.”

- - - - - - - - - - - 

(Y/N) walked into the warehouse, looking at her woman pointing their gun at the poor man. The captain of the group, Venom, had her knife to his neck. 

Let’s just say, her team was ruthless. They were a team made of women, who handled her.. business. They were called the Mona Lisa’s. Mainly because they showed no remorse or emotion. But because the actual Mona Lisa was beautiful and mysterious, they gained that nickname. The tricked men into get information, they were amazing actresses actually. They could make somebody feel wanted and loved... and we all know how dangerous that could be.

“Who are you?” 

“I ain’t telling you shit, bitch.” he snapped at her as she rolled her eyes. 

“We gonna skip that part where you try to be all tough. There is nothing stopping Venom here from slashing your throat and trust me. That would most definitely be the high light of her day.” she warned him. “Actually, the highlight of her day would be torturing you until you speak.” she said matter of factly.

“Weak ass bitches, you don’t scare no body.” (Y/N) looked at Venom and smirked at him. 

“You take your time with him. Call me when he says something.”

- - - - - - - - - - - -

(Y/N) ran a face scan through the system, to find out that he use to work for Erik. Name was Claw. Nasty and just plain annoying. After stealing money from Erik and killing one of his close friends, he was never seen again. Erik and a lot of other lords

“So what is this surprise you got for me?” he asked him walking past her in her quarters where they did their interrogations. The entire time he was looking at her ass. They walked to the door as she turned around, 

“Look for yourself.” He walked in the room, looking in the glass window seeing him tied to a chair, as Venom continued cutting his fingers off his one hand, piece by piece. 

“Is that-”

“In the flesh. I caught him trying to sneak into my warehouse where I’m holding some of my weapons.” she said as he looked at her. 

“I hope it’s not the-”

“It’s not the Stark ones. Those are in Alaska. But I’m worried. Out of all my years of moving and supplying, I’ve never had someone successfully break into my warehouse. And I know the Mona Lisa’s aren’t slacking because they are highly trained. I sent over a hundred of them to Alaska to protect the gear.” she said biting her acrylic thumb in nervousness. “This idiot was dumb coming in here alone, but I know niggas. Niggas that are smarter, and I just have this deep feeling that someone is planning something to get at me.” she looked at Erik. He’s known her for years, she’s never really shown nervousness or being scared. He saw that she was genuinely scared. Some might say she was over thinking, but in her line of work you could  never over think.

“Aye calm down, I promise you I won’t let anyone get to you, ight. Even if it takes my last breath.” he reassured her. “Starting with this motherfucker. I’m killing his ass.” he said about to walk to the door to entre the room but she stopped him.

“Wait, lemme talk to him. I got a plan.” she walked into the room before walking over to her. 

“Alright, so I know who you are.” she said as he cursed. 

“You knew who I was this entire time and you’ve been letting this crazy bitch do this shit!” he yelled at her as (Y/N) laughed. 

“Man, calm down. I ain’t even that serious. Plus, it’s been a minute since Venom have had a little bit of fun. She deserves it.” (Y/N) smiled at Venom as Venom smirked at her. 

“Anyways, I know that you’re working with Erik. Or use to work with him. I sent a couple of my girls over there to do.. a lil bit of damage. Kill some of his goons, injure a couple more, but I’m keeping Erik alive.” he said as Claw shook his head. 

“Your dumb if you did that.”

“Well, you and I both know the success rate my girls have so...” she trailed off. 

“No, your dumb if you think that I still work for that bum ass nigga, or I’m trying to get in good terms with him. Fuck his bitch ass..” he said. She chuckled. 

“Well it make sense..  I mean, you were his close friend. Right hand man. Makes since you’d try to steal my shit. I did tell my girls to make sure that Erik know your alive.” she said as his face turned to complete fear. She tilted her head to the side pouting. 

“Tell me why you tried stealing my shit.”

“I-I was doing it to have so I could sell it.” he said as she rolled her eyes. That’s all she wanted to hear but she still wanted to fuck with him. 

“Bull shit. Tell the truth. Either way you’re going to die whether it’s by me or by him. Why?”

“I’m telling you. I only wanted to sell it. Everyone know your work is worth billions and I-I needed some quick cash. J-Just don’t tell him I’m alive.”

“Damn,,, for him to be a bum ass nigga, you a lil scared ain’t you,” she said tilting her head to the side. “Anyways he knows so..” she shrugged. 

“N-No he doesn’t. He would’ve been here by-” she looked towards the window than looked back at him. He got the hint. The door opened and Erik walked in, the vein in forehead popping out as his jaw clenched.

“So I’ma a bum ass nigga now?” he asked him, (Y/N) rolled her eyes. She knew his Ego was hurt. Erik looked at Venom, before smiling at her. 

“Thanks Sweetheart. Love what you did but I got it from here.” he winked at her as she smiled blushing. 

“No problem Erik.” she walked out as (Y/N) chuckled. 

Venom was dangerous, well that’s how she got her nickname. But deep down, she was a girl that blushed even at the smallest compliments. She was a sweetie, but if it came down to it, she didn’t hesitate to drop a body. And she did enjoy tourtuing somebody for her enjoyment.  

“Look Erik-”

“Don’t say my name. First of all, I’ma kill you for what you did to me. But- I’ma make sure that shit is slow. Especially coming up in here fucking with her. And about that one, I’ma make sure yo ass wish you were dead.”

“Well you have your fun, let me know when everything is done so I can have someone come clean up ya mess.” she placed a kiss on his cheek before walking out. 

She knew that Erik was gonna handle business for her, maybe he’ll get a lil something for it.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Here’s a lil fact about me, I’m obsessed with Erik and reader being lords or mob bosses or whatever you wanna call it. 

Taglist:

@sociallyawkward18 @raysunshine78 

@justgetitoverwith0 

[dilfwaynes]

virgin!wanda x experienced!reader?

⚢ pairings ; wanda maximoff x fem!reader

✗ warnings ; oral sex, wanda being a complete shy virgin & reader guiding her, praise kink.

a/n: not edited !! but i will be making this into a full oneshot when i have time. feedback is welcomed obvi i want her so bad bruh

navigation | masterlist | requests are open !!

“let me shower then we can watch your little white family sitcoms,” you tease bumping your shoulder against hers playfully

she rolls her eyes at you, smiling slightly at your banter and the comfort you seep into her

lessening the pain of pietro somewhat, you were one of the few who automatically welcomed and forgave her. as well as going out of your way to check on her and hang out

even after her few rejections of you trying to pry in and cheer her up, it wasn’t until you saw her watching malcolm in the middle and got into a conversation about it, that she finally warmed up to you.

starting with shyly waking you up in the morning to get breakfast with her or sitting by you for meetings or eating settings

all those shy gestures were adorable to you, especially when she picks at the hem of her clothes when shes shy or nervous/unsure

needless to say you did have fun playing at her shy nature, especially when you interlock hands with her that sometimes leads to you bringing her hand down to your thigh

if you’re feeling bold and extra needy for the witch that night, getting the okay once you feel her timidly slide her hand upper to your thigh and draw patterns against your skin

though it never went anything past that with most of the time wanda never touching in any sexual way unless you parted her to

but you couldn’t really count simple touches on your thigh sexual if you were to be honest

you sigh out feeling the steaming water pour on your skin and heating it, the release of the tension you’ve been feeling between your thighs somewhat with the scent of sandalwood filling your nose and your playlist in the background 

wanda’s eyes flickers to the tiny ajar in the doorframe at catching your reflection through mirror

her throat runs dry when your eyes catches her and you simply stare back with sultry through hooded lids

she quickly turns her eyes away with flaring cheeks and pretends to busy herself with finding a sitcom for you guys to watch

not paying attention to the soft thud landing on the floor

“hi.”

with slight redden she slowly looks at you timorously, mouth going muggy at you naked with the towel on the floor.”hi”

without a second thought you walk over to her, her hand already out to catch your waist. staring up at you as you settle down on her lap and pulling her into a kiss

“wait, krasivaya devushka hold on,”she gasps out from your hold, retraining you from going back to getting her tongue down your throat.”i-i’ve never done this before”

you tilt your head at her embarrassed gaze before giggling out softly and cupping her cheeks” wanda are you a virgin?”

from the pink that tints her cheeks and lack of answer gives you everything you need to know

her eyes falters, turning away and beginning to pull away from your hands, embarrassed and annoyed, thinking you’re judging her for still being a virgin at 19 probably

you shake your head and tight your hold on her

“shhh thats okay, don’t worry baby, i’ll teach you.”giving a quick kiss to her both of her cheekbones, and lips before you gently intertwine your hand with hers, pressing your lips to her sharp jaw

you take in her shaky breathe as you take her hand and place it on your waist, taking ahold of her other one and guiding it to your throat

gripping the back of her neck and kissing her hard enough to lose your breath

moaning at the soft hesitant squeeze she gives out at your neck, her hand sliding from your tiny waist to your ass, squeezing.

“fuck wanda,” you sigh out breaking away from the kiss to take in air.”lay back”

you nudge her down towards your bed and getting off of her lap to slide down to your knees

“tell me if you want me to stop,”she hastily nods with her hands already at the roots of your hair, tugging lightly at your hot breathe on her core

scooting up her black skirt and peeling away her underwear and give a long strip against her sex, reveling in her breathy moan.

wrapping your lips around her clit and grinning at the jitter of her hips, her grip tightening in your hair

”blyad, just like that malysh,” she cries out pulling you closer by your neck and grinding on your face to cum.”so so good.”

the praise going straight to your pussy as well as wanda tugging at your hair

clamping your tongue with her walls and grinding her pussy against your face, you know shes close to cumming

“gonna cum all over that face”your eyebrows rise slightly at the sudden change of talk, her shyness disappearing.

with a final jitter of her hips and scream you feel her cumming in your mouth and leaking to your lips and chin

she pulls you up by your hair and kissing you, moaning at the taste of herself.

she gasps out before finally pulling away for breathe,”i think i kinda got the hang of it.”

she laughs breathlessly before pushing you on the bed,”my turn now sweetheart.”

[bakugohoex]

CONGRATS ON 1K!!! For the event, could you do Bakugo with Fluff #4??? It just seems so much like him

“because i’m fucking in love with you”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: language, fluff, kissing

word count: 2500+

a/n: i have to write a levi oneshot now, bruh i might just go sleep, who knows what i’m going to do

summary: in which bakugo watches you get too close with another man and can’t help but let his anger take over seeing you with anybody other him

1k event masterlist

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Bakugo had many reasons to get angry on a warm summer day at the office. Being a pro hero had its ups and downs, the down being what was occurring today. Paperwork, he hated it with a passion, he loved the idea of fighting and defeating villains but the idea of writing it all up made his skin itch in disgust. Of course he had his sidekicks to help him, but they would never know the true extent of having to re-read over fights that occurred and signing it all off.

Bakugo still had other reasons that annoyed him, the weather had become broiling, his sidekicks were pissing him off and then there was you. You with your hero costume that looked tighter every time he saw it, you with the way you’d walk into a room and have everybody on your feet. You who had whipped him like a servant boy, he hated having to work alongside you. You had your own agency a couple blocks away from him, but ever since you both found out you took the same route. You’d come and annoyingly meet him throughout the day.

He hated it, and as he signed off on another report, his V neck not helping him at all, he heard the sounds of chatting from outside his office, that's when he saw it through the glass. The way you flaunted past the desks with your skimpy hero costume which he understood was for the best possible use of your quirk. But even then, it always cupped your body in just the right places. 

You seemed to have been waving at one of the new sidekicks Bakugo had recruited. He hated it, pen almost breaking from his anger, he watched as you didn't bother to knock only cascade inside with the looks of others following your pristine body. “What?”

“How rude, Bakugo! Is that any way to greet your favourite pro hero.” You mocked falling onto the chair with a hefty sign, he watched at how you were clearly out of breath with the way your chest heaved harshly. 

“Shut it, extra. What do you want?” He repeated.

You began playing with the stuff on his desk, he’d noticed how you always needed something in your hands and since he had always left a small jelly like plushie just for these moments. You happily put it in your hand pulling and stretching at it before looking up at him, “are you not coming for the patrol?”

“I got paperwork.” He signed as you saw the almost boxful of papers. 

“No fair, I'll just go on my own then.” You were about to stand up when he stopped you. 

“Get one of your sidekicks to go, idiot, help me with this.” He gestured to the paperwork that he knew wasn't the full extent as you both had decided to split it.

You gave another huff at him, “just because I’m organised doesn't mean i want to spend my Monday morning doing dreary paperwork.”

“I know you split it 70:30 so fucking help me.” He growled loudly making a shiver run down your spine. 

“So needy, Bakugo, let me just call them.” You gesture to your phone as you walked outside his office. You leant against the glass door, Bakugo’s eyes fixed to the way your ass and thighs had been pushed against the wall. He licked his lips as he stared longley at your body before hearing your sign. 

That's when he saw his new sidekick come up to you, of course he knew that the sidekick was only a couple years younger than the two of you. But he had a crush, the way his eyes lingered across your body, the way he passed you the coffee which you hadn’t even asked for. The way you laughed at his shitty joke, were you really flirting back with a man like that, Bakugo scowled before directing his eyes back to the paperwork. 

“I’ll make sure to come for you when I need some coffee.” You laughed at the boy as you opened the glass door. 

Bakugo heard the boy give a chuckle touching your arm as he let you go through the door. “Here do you want some?” You gestured to the coffee you had, noticing the empty coffee mug on the side of his desk. 

“No.” Bakugo muttered but nevertheless took the coffee and drank a large gulp of it. “Why don’t you get your little coffee boy to bring more?”

He was pissed not only had you let his stupid sidekick touch you, but you’d made him feel special as if he had your attention. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” You chucked the cup in the bin, going over to the box where you grabbed some files out. 

Bakugo didn’t make a remark instead letting you read over what had occurred and sign it off. “Bakugo.” You whispered halfway through your first file and already bored. “Bakugo.”

“What?” He questioned after he had seen you become more concentrated in the pen you held than the paperwork itself.

You stared at him with a bright smile, “we should get some lunch.”

“Y/n, it’s only half 10, it's a bit early for lunch.” He scowled, chucking the finished file into the complete pile.

“But I’m hungry.” You whined leaning against the cold desktop, it was white and probably made from marble, but it was the best bet of comfort you’d get from Bakugo’s office. 

“Go get some food then.” He muttered as you stood up all giddy. “Get me something as well.”

“Now who’s the hungry one.” You mocked as you happily skipped out of his office, he couldn't help but roll his eyes and give a slight smile to you. But that’s when he saw his stupid sidekick come up to you. His face faulted, his smile turning downwards as he watched you both converse and leave to the elevator.

“You really don’t have to come.” You spoke stepping into the elevator, you hated how vulnerable you felt with Bakugo, how easily he could stare at you and make you go weak at the knees. He was perfect, an amazing pro hero who was ahead of you in the charts by the couple of numbers. You were almost grateful that your paths had crossed and that you spent patrols together, but his sidekicks were a whole other thing. 

You knew the coffee boy had a crush; the whole department knew that. But how could you let a sweet boy down after all he did was such good things, how could you tell him you’d rather have his asshole of a boss than a sweetheart like him. “No, it’s fine, I was going that way anyway.”

“Oh why?” You questioned through the long elevator ride down.

“I had to buy some stuff for my sister's birthday and I'm on my break.” You nodded happily, not asking anymore through the uncomfortable silence as soon as the door dinged open, you both walked out, he had walked you to the bakery as you were craving a sandwich, he waited as you picked one you liked and one that Bakugo definitely likes. He didn't say a word until you spoke. 

“What are you thinking of getting your sister?” You asked walking with him into the store selling gifts. 

“What do you like, I mean girls like?” A heavy blush formed on his face as you began looking through the gifts. 

“I’d probably go for that drinks set, it’s cute if she of course drinks that is.”

He quickly spoke to ease your gaze, “she does.” He instantly grabs it going to pay, you didn't question his rash decision and you both walked back to the building. 

“I’m sure she’ll love it.” You smile out as you both step through the office again, Bakugo in an instant saw the two of you, bags in hand. 

“I hope so, thank you Y/n.” He smiles putting his hand on your shoulder, he goes in for a hug which you happily give, he was clearly nervous for his sister's birthday. Bakugo watched intensively, surprised at the hug as he stormed out of the doors of his office on a mission to grab you and take you with him. 

“Y/n.” He bellowed out. 

You both retreated from the hug, staring at the angry blond, “Bakugo, i bought sandwiches.” You happily smile out, rummaging through the bag to show him it, “and cupcakes.”

His face fell, a smile erupting that he didn't know he was even capable of, you looked so happy showing him the cupcakes with the pink frosting on them. “Come on.” He whispered watching you come beside him, his arm on your back guiding you inside. 

Bakugo guided you inside, watching you happily pull out the food, he saw how you moved the chair for visitors beside him making him move up. You were closer than he had expected, leaning across to grab the cupcakes and stuff one in your face. “You looked angry before?”

“I wasn't.” He muttered while taking a bite of the sandwich. 

“Don’t lie to me, what’s up?” You began to play with his other hand, he hadn't expected it but the way your hands had just met his own, the way you skimmed his veins and the rings that embodied his fingers. It felt like heaven, but your eyes gave a sense of doubt and resistance. 

“I...I just don’t like you spending time with that guy.” He spoke staring at you, your eyesight was on his hand still, the way you continued to play with his fingers before moving to the back of his hand. 

You took a sharp breath before speaking to yourself, “is it because of his crush on me?”

“You know about that?” 

“Of course I know Bakugo, I think everybody knows about it.” You whispered out softly.

“Is he your type?” Bakugo had gone against his words of jealousy, maybe if you admitted you liked coffee boy then he could move on more easily. 

You finally looked up at the blond, his piercing red eyes giving a look of caution, “he should be.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Bakugo moved his hand away from you, your unclear answer had made him a lot more pissed at the idea of you stringing both the men along. 

“I...I just mean that he’s nice y’know and he should be my type, but he’s not.” Bakugo’s anger seemed to calm down as he gave you a softer look. 

“Who is then?” Bakugo went to grab the cupcake you had bought for him ,taking a soft bite as the sweet frosting enchanted his mouth.

“You have frosting on your lips.” Bakugo went to lick it as you avoided his question entirely. 

“Y/n, who’s your type?” Bakugo repeated staring at you, in an instant you stood up not wanting to confess anything else. 

“I’m going to go see how my guys are doing.” You left him with no other word, he couldn't even stop you at how you almost ran away from the situation. Even if he had found out you didn't like the coffee boy you were now avoiding him which felt a lot worse.

Bakugo tried calling you but it went to miss call, he ended up finishing the rest of the paperwork and by the end of the day he knew you’d probably be hung up in your office, pushing yourself to do something other than talk to him. He began walking the short distance in the humid air, the sun was just about to set as he arrived at your agency. He always liked the vibe you had going on, even your sidekicks were okay, a lot better than his own. He was able to get inside with ease, walking the steps towards your office, he could see your shadow through the frosted glass. 

You seemed to be pacing on the phone to someone, but he couldn’t tell who until he was just in ear shot. “I can’t tell him that, he’s going to think these months have just been me being selfish.”

Bakugo couldn’t hear the other line but it raised more questions in the boys mind instead. He was careful about being unseen until he heard you continue. “He’s a fucking idiot, how could someone like him ever love me, I’m nothing special.”

He heard another long sign from you at the response from the other side before hearing you say your farewells and begin to pace about the room. Bakugo softly knocked against the door, hearing a come in as he walked inside, your office being as pristine as ever. You were no longer wearing your hero costume, assuming you had been on a patrol yourself at the tiredness that set in your eyes.

He saw you as a normal civilian at this moment, so sweet and innocent but you gave a glare. “How long were you listening in for?”

“I...I wasn't.” He stuttered out. 

“Bullshit, why the fuck were you listening into my private conversation?” You scowled again leaning against your desk.

Bakugo knew he was caught but in his idiocrasy decided to make the situation worse, “who’s the guy you’re talking about?”

“Why do you care?” You spoke stubbornly.

“Y/n, who’s the guy?” He repeated himself.

You faced the blond scowl on your face at his relentless pushing of an answer. “It’s nobody okay, I don’t even understand why you care so much?”

Bakugo’s anger rose at you hiding even more from him, how could he work alongside you if you were just going to keep him in the dark about some stupid guy that probably meant fuck all in the big picture. He knew this wasn't the true reason behind his anger though, he was jealous, some man you loved didn't love you back, and he was here with all his love to give.

“Because I’m fucking in love with you.” Bakugo shouted, the words spewing out without even realising. Bakugo’s eyes widened and so did your own, he looked at how your eyes had almost softened at the confession.

“You...You love me?” You questioned standing up to come closer to him. 

“I’m not repeatin…”

You quickly interrupt him, your bodies almost touching as your hand moves to his face making him stare right back at you. “I love you too.” You softly whispered before closing the gap between the two of you. His hand moved to your face guiding the kiss as he had to bend down to even meet you.

It was filled with passion and drive from the countless nights you both spent together in each other's office, the morning patrols together and even the galas you attended together as friends. Everything you both had wanted from each other had come down from a singular kiss in a small office in the middle of Japan.

A small moan escaped your lips, his tongue gliding in with such ease as he toyed with your own, almost sucking the spit and saliva that was across your own tongue. He let go taking a harsh breath and he brought your face closer to his, foreheads touching as he gave the softest look he possibly could. You stayed in his arms, just staring at each other with such love and passion, both knowing nothing could break you both now.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @katsuhera @answer-the-sirens @animexholic @wapbenders @the-shota-king-masayuki @bakugousmrs @crystal-lilac @dai-tsukki-desu @fandomsinthegalaxies @crimsonbows-and-arrows @admin-in-residence @otterlockholmes @gabrann

[sailorsero]

nothin’ else like this - nsfw

author: claire (@sailorsero​) ship: solo adult bakugou katsuki, dash of adult bakugou x gender neutral reader, side adult kaminari denki x adult shinsou hitoshi prompt/genre: birthday & food kink themed solo play wordcount: 2887 warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing, kink, food fetish/food kink/sploshing a/n: • written for the Bakugou’s Birthday Bash Collaboration - check out the masterlist to see everyone elses!) • shoutout to @foolishfortuna who is writing an amazing food fetish kiribaku that inspired me to write this kink • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘birthday cake’ by rihanna

nothin’ else like this *** pinkyofficial • HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BLASTIEST BOY IN THE GALAXY!!! @explosiongoddynamight LOVE YOU!!! 💥🧡🍹🎂😘 CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AND GET TURNT WITH MAH BOYSSS!!! BAKUSQUAD BABY!!! 👬🧍‍♀️👬 GO TELL DYNAMIGHT HAPPT BIRTHDAY Y’ALL!!! #dynamight #pinky #birthdaybitch

its_cellophane: happt birthday @explosiongoddynamight pinkyofficial: @its_cellophane suddenly we’re a squad of 4 #cellowho theredriot: Look at us 🥺 can’t wait to celebrate together, love you guys!!! happy birthday bro @explosiongoddynamight ♥️ chargebolt: But can we get #birthdaybitch trending tho?? 🤔

Bakugou tutted, flicking through the photos Mina had posted to Instagram. One from last years Hero Gala, with Tweedle Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest crowded into his personal space - all smiles, suits and champagne flutes. A post-graduation selfie with the woman herself, where he felt so triumphant at moving onto the next stage of his quest to become #1, that he hadn’t even objected to the filter that gave them huge eyelashes and bear ears. A couple from their most recent meetups, candids from their school days (mostly taken without his knowledge, let alone permission; the only one that he was posing for featured a double middle finger that had set Iida off for a good fifteen minutes), one from a photoshoot his publicist had strong armed him into and his friends had christened ‘The Great Bakugou Thirst Trap of 2020’.

Bakugou did not consider himself a sentimental person, or someone who placed a great deal of importance on his own birthday; he hadn’t even made any fuss when you told him you were needed in Osaka for a mission that would take you away two days before he turned 24.

But he couldn’t help but go back to the first photo of the bunch, allowing himself a soft smile he would deny under oath.

His 17th birthday, his first birthday with - ugh - real friends. He remembered rolling his eyes when Racoon Eyes had given her blindingly pink phone to the waitress, yelling at Sparky and Tape Face when they’d shoved themselves into the same side of the booth as the rest of them, growling when Shitty Hair had told him to ‘say ‘cheese’, Bakubro!’.

They all looked so young, pre-undercuts and piercings and late teenage growth spurts. He’d have to remember the (very secret) happiness that night had brought him next time Kirishima annoyed him by stepping mud into his carpet or Kaminari pissed him off by opening his big fat mouth.

Bakugou was drawn from his thoughts by knocking on his office door. Knocking that started out strong for the first hit, dropping noticeably into something more tentative for the rest; probably once they remembered whose door they were knocking on. Kirishima had once told him that the interns drew straws on who had to ‘rattle the beast’s cage’ (interact with Bakugou). He’d know; that idiot had been rattling Bakugou’s cage 25/8 since their first year at Yuuei.

“Come in!”

The door opened far enough for an assistant who had already been by this morning with a sack of birthday cards mixed in with regular fan mail to poke their head through the gap.

“Mr Dynamight, Sir, there’s another delivery for you.”

Bakugou nodded, leaning back in his leather desk chair and stretching out his back. Damn paperwork day, and on his birthday. Fuck, was 24 the age your back started aching from sitting in a goddamn chair?!

The assistant continued as they approached the desk, despite the fact that Bakugou didn’t fucking ask.

“It’s a cake, from a lovely bakery downtown; a delivery person just dropped it off. Their cakes are exquisite, by all accounts.”

They stepped back from the desk once the baby blue box was securely placed down, a white satin ribbon wound expertly around it. An embossed logo Bakugou recognised shone under the overhead light.

The blonde’s quirk made short work of the ribbon, burning it idly with one hand so the rest could be severed with ease.

Bakugou flipped the lid of the box up, letting it fall fully open so he could inspect the contents. He blinked. He blinked again.

It was a cake. A strawberry shortcake, slathered with cream and fresh fruit, and perfectly placed in the centre was a chocolate disc with immaculately piped words.

♡ HAPPY BIRTHDAY DYNAMIGHT ♡

“It’s from your fanclub!”

He let his eyes drift back up to the assistant, who - from what Bakugou could infer from the overly positive, cheery tone he was using - clearly thought Bakugou was seconds away from blasting the expensive gateau across his office, and was trying to avert having to call the janitorial staff back up to this floor. He understood; unbridled, perhaps not-always-reasonable rage was kind of his brand, and the cleaners had already had to make a return journey today after Kaminari had set off several sprinklers making toast.

A cake. Yes, a cake. From his fanclub. A cake from his fanclub. That he was definitely going to eat and nothing else, nothing weird! A cake for him to eat. At home. In private. As soon as possible.

“That’s-” He cleared his throat and tried again. “That’s...great. It looks delicious...yes. Thanks. That’s all. You can...go.”

The assistant looked like they were struggling to process the combination of words that had just left Bakugou, but he was pleased when they decided to take this struggle on the road and left his office with a rushed “Yes, Mr Dynamight, Sir, thank you, you are welcome, good bye!” and the click of the office door.

Bakugou barely had time to drag his fingers through his hair, letting out a breath he had apparently been holding since he’d spoken, before the door opened again.

“Knock knock!” “You know he says it doesn’t count if you say it instead of doing it, especially if you’ve already open- Denki!”

Bakugou groaned as Kaminari shot across the room, peering into the still-open box on the desk. “Ooh, that looks amazing, bro! Can I have some?”

“Hey, Kats! Happy birthday, man!” Kirishima beamed at him before dropping his gaze to the cake Kaminari was currently eyefucking. Bakugou slid the box an inch or two closer to himself. He steadfastly ignored the other blonde’s question.

“Thanks, Ei. What’s Dunce Face doing here - world’s worst birthday present?”

Kirishima snorted, clapping Kaminari on the shoulder. “Ran into him a few blocks away on our patrols; figured we’d catch you now to say ‘happy birthday’ on the actual day instead of waiting for Saturday!”

Kaminari brought out what he probably considered the big guns; his finger guns, that he did for literally everything. “Happy birthday, Blasty! Speaking of your birthday, where did the cake come from? Sent with luuurve from Osaka? Although, that would be weird because you don’t even really like sweets and this won’t keep until Saturday when we get togeth-“

“It’s from my fanclub, Pikachu, and keep your staticky hands off my cake!” Bakugou flipped the lid back down, shielding the cake from view.

“Man, don’t be like that - there’s no way you’re gonna be able to eat all that by yourself!” Kaminari whined.

“Relax, Denks - you know Y/N has a cake ordered for Bakubro’s Belated Birthday Blowout!” Kirishima patted his back consolingly.

“I really wish you’d all stop calling it that. God, letting you guys have their number was a fucking mistake.”

Kaminari looked thoughtful; it was terrifying. “You know, I heard, one time, a hero got given a homemade cake by a fan, and when they took a bite of it, they realised they had a mouth full of the fan’s pubic hair!”

“Dude!” “What the everloving fuck, Dunce Face?!”

Kaminari just beamed, apparently proud of himself for making Bakugou question his life on the anniversary of his birth.

“Firstly, does this cake look fucking homemade to you? Secondly, where the fuck did you read that? ‘Disgusting Stories for Stupid Fucking Idiots Monthly’?”

Kaminari shrugged, nonplussed. “Sero told me.”

“Yes, then. Same thing, pretty much.”

Kirishima interrupted, looking thoughtful. “If you think Bakubro’s cake is full of pubes, why do you want to eat it?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a mouthful of pubes, bro! ‘Toshi’s more of an au naturel kind of guy…”

Bakugou saw Kirishima’s (painful looking) thinking face intensify, and intervened immediately. “Ei, do not pull at this thread. He-“ Bakugou punctuated with a harsh jab towards the electric hero. “- has told us several times that he’s had Mindfucker’s dirty feet in his mouth before, not to mention all the bodily fluids, and then there’s all the disgusting public places they’ve fucked, and-“

“Don’t kinkshame me, bruh!” Kaminari cut in, sounding lowkey offended, but Bakugou noted the look of pride from before hadn’t diminished, even a little bit.

Bakugou snorted. He constantly shamed Kaminari and his walking corpse of a boyfriend, but that was because they were shamelessly disgusting oversharing nymphomaniacs and someone had to do it. Preferably before one of them creamed their pants in a karaoke bar again. That was Shinkami shaming, not kinkshaming.

He definitely had no room to kinkshame people; not with the plans he had for this cake.

***

Bakugou slammed the door to his apartment shut with his hip and laid the bakery box down on the side table so he could make quick work of his boots and jacket.

God, that had to have been the longest taxi ride of his life. He couldn’t risk the subway with such a precious cargo, so he’d had to sit in the back of the cab next to the box (that he’d had to resist the urge to belt in) and sweat in silence.

Bakugou didn’t know where this kink had come from - maybe he’d watched too much Food Network in his formative years, or passing by the bakery with the amazing smell opposite his junior high school twice a day for three years before going home to jerk it had warped his sexuality; all he knew was, he was gonna fuck this cake.

It was a shame that you were miles and miles away and unavailable for a Facetime like no other; introducing you to his kink had been one of the best weekends of his life, and he was pretty sure - if he knows you as well as he thinks he does - you’d placed an order for two birthday cakes for his belated celebrations.

Maybe you’d got other stuff in mind, too - pie, custard, ice cream, syrups, chocolate, sushi, spaghetti, fruit…and now he was half-hard, still fully dressed and standing in the hallway.

Well, you weren’t here now, but it was his birthday, dammit! He would just have to play alone, and send you some photos afterwards.

Bakugou seized the box and made quick strides until he could place it down on his bedside table.

The comforter flew off of the bed, pooling into a lavish lump on the floor right before the pillows landed one by one on top. The undersheet was last, leaving the rubber sheet beneath exposed to one of the only two people who knew it was there in the first place.

The box made its final move to the middle of the protected mattress, where Bakugou tilted it just enough to be able to coax the cake free with help from gravity and without getting it all over his hands. Not yet…

Bakugou made short work of his clothes, kicking his pants and briefs off impatiently a second before climbing onto the bed and kneeling beside his prize.

Normally, he’d take his time, play around more, have more of a plan, but today, the anticipation had him on a knife edge already. It had been nearly four hours since he’d unwrapped this gift, and he was dying to play with it.

Bakugou leant his knees spread apart, sinking into a squat so he was as close as he could get to his treat.

He was fully hard now, and gave his cock a couple of quick pumps, letting his fist settle loosely from the base down as he took a deep breath and brought his leaking tip to the side of the cake.

His breath left him in a quick rush when the first contact was made; the cream was on the cooler side, and the smooth finish of the outside of the cake was everything he had been missing since he’d last indulged himself like this.

It took all the self control Bakugou had to only push the head in, then pause and take a breath, focusing intently on every sensation as he pushed in as slowly as was physically possible.

The afternoon of waiting felt like edging, so the sensation against his cock, inch by inch, was almost too much as it was not enough.

The sponge was almost as soft and velvety as the cream, but providing some texture and resistance that felt as delicious as the dessert looked.

Bakugou let out the first of many moans as he bottomed out, the air in the bedroom already beginning to smell like sugar and strawberries - just the right side of cloying, and he knew before long it would be so heady he’d be dizzy from it.

He pulled out almost as slowly as he went in, raising himself back up a little and bracing himself with his hands on the other side of the intact cake, leaving him looking over it on his hands and knees.

His reentry at a slightly higher point of the cake wasn’t quite as slow as the first breach, but he’s never been known for his patience.

Bakugou pulled in and out a couple of times, leaving a clear hole to fuck as he began to do just that, his hips begnining to thrust in a steady rhythm.

It didn’t take long for the squishy sounds coming from between his legs to turn into sloppy ones; the delicate cake was beginning to buckle already, the defined layers enveloping his cock becoming mushy around him.

Balancing his weight on one arm, he swiped his now-free hand across the top of the cake, coming away with as generous a handful of cream and strawberry slices as he could without threatening the structural integrity of the cake prematurely.

Bakugou raised his hand and smacked it right into the middle of his chest, before smearing it across his right pec, rubbing purposefully over his nipple as he did so. His hips sped up slightly without intention - or him noticing - as he alternated between smearing the food deeper into his flushed skin, and tugging on his nipple.

He could hear whimpering in his ears and it took a beat or two for Bakugou to realise they were coming from him. Fuck, it all just felt so good.

He blindly grabbed another small handful, this time coming away with some cake mixed into his spoils, before repeating the treatment on his left pec, but with a roughness borne of his increasing desperation.

“Fuck, fuck, shit, I-“ He hissed out a breath, pinching his nipple firmly as he felt the cake begin to collapse inwards, the squelch of the fucking he was giving it echoing in his ears.

A final scoop of the dessert onto his fingers went straight into his mouth, his plush, pink lips parting to accommodate three fingers; he was close.

Bakugou’s balance was starting to go as his orgasm approached, so he pulled his fingers free from his tongue and resumed his position, but beginning to sink lower into the mess he was fucking into his mattress protectors. From his angle, his balls began to slap what was left of the sides of the sinking cake, and the noise that created tore another moan from the blonde.

He could feel the sticky mess coating his crotch and inner thighs, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the feeling of indulging in the kink that turned him on like nothing else, wanting to savour something he knew was nearly over.

“Oh my fuck- ing, shit, oh, fuck-“

Bakugou’s hips were moving at a frantic pace now, chasing a release inside the cake while it still had an inside.

His orgasm had been teetering for a couple of minutes, then came all at once. A shout turned into a long, drawn out moan that was almost a cry, as he spilled his release in one, two, three bursts; biting his lip so hard, he’d discover later he’d drawn blood.

His arms gave out before he’d come back to himself, his lower half landing into the gooey puddle of expensive baking with a splat that would almost have been enough to get him half hard again if his soul hadn’t just shot out of his dick into a cake.

The blonde let out a deep, satisfied sigh, smiling dopily into the shiny, specialist bedsheet. Happy birthday to me, indeed.

Bakugou had only just had the energy to raise himself back onto his hands and knees when he had to find a little more to turn his head towards the door at the sound of it creaking open.

“Awh, did someone get you a birthday cake, babe?”

He nodded. You were back early.

You dropped your duffel on the floor, taking your first step towards the bed as you slid your shirt off with ease.

“Ooh, good - you saved some for me! I’m starving…”

[h2bakugou]

could I request a headcanon where bakugo, kaminari, kirishima, and maybe todoroki (that’s not too many) react to their gf giving them a painting they made with their body

a/n: yes! im a bit late for this trend but it’s super cute and i wanna do this bruh, i have a canvas i just need to repaint it and then boom

headcanon: them reacting to receiving their s/o’s painting they made with their body

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, 16+ for mild suggestive themes?

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

You’ve seen the trend a few times before you finally get the guts to do it for Bakugou. 

You’re super excited when the time comes. You’ve never done something like this. All the gifts you’ve given Bakugou before were usually store-bought, either a small piece of jewelry or a new sweater or shirt.

Never a painting that you made.

After getting all the craft supplies to make it, you turn on some music and get to work.

Painting the canvas a solid black color, you wait for it to dry as you look at the color of paint you’ve chosen to use on your body. A bright orange that matches the highlights of Bakugou’s hero costume.

You roll your shorts up and begin to apply the paint after feeling that the black has dried on your canvas.

Applying the paint is tricky, but with the help of a mirror, you’re able to apply it evenly. 

Pressing your bottom down on the canvas, you can’t help but laugh at the situation. You’d just printed your ass in bright orange onto a canvas.

You let your butt rest against the canvas as you lifted the leg you were going to paint and stamp next, applying paint to it carefully as to not let it drip onto the canvas.

You pressed your leg down and used your hands to push it against the canvas.

Sitting for a minute or so, you soon got up and did your hand last. Looking at it from afar, it looked great.

You touched it up some, made the color opaque and then cleaned up. You made sure to sign your name on the bottom in the matching orange paint carefully.

You got most of the paint off, but the rest you’d have to scrub off in the shower. You threw on some loose pants and waited for your canvas to dry completely before taking it to Bakugou’s room.

 Bakugou was finishing up some homework when you knocked on his door.

“Come in.” He groaned, not expecting to see you hiding behind a canvas in his doorway.

“Happy anniversary.” You smiled and handed him the canvas. When he turned it over his cheeks flushed red.

“Holy shit.” 

“I know it’s not much-”

“You’re a fucking piece of art.” Bakugou set the canvas down and pulled you into him, his lips landing firmly against your own.

The kiss was rough, but sensual.

“Does this mean you like it?” You pull away and giggle.

“I love it.”

»»————-　★　————-««

denki kaminari

»»————-　★　————-««

You’ve got the supplies and you’re ready to get to work. You’ve painted your canvas black and you’ve selected a nice electric yellow.

It’s an easy process of applying the paint.

But as you’re sitting on the canvas, stamping your ass on it, you begin to wonder if Kaminari would like it.

He’s can be a bit perverted, but he’s still super sweet. Is this going to make him short circuit?

You’ve been together for a few months now, and for just a random reason, you wanted to do this for him.

You’ve seen the trend and you want to surprise him.

After successfully stamping your body to the canvas, you sign it and let it dry before delivering it to him.

You dress in one of his electric pun related shirts and some sweatpants and make your trip to go give it to him.

When you arrive, he’s playing Mario Kart with Sero and somehow beating him.

You wait for him to be finished before you give him the gift, not wanting to interrupt his game.

“Alright baby! What’s an angel like you need?” He sets his controller down and walks over to you, giving you a kiss, totally ignoring the canvas your holding.

“I made you something.” You smile, turning the canvas over. 

And just like you’d feared, sparks of electricity begin to shoot off of him, his cheeks burning a bright pink shade.

“It’s-you’re...beautiful.” Kaminari mumbles, looking at it and then back up to you.

Sero looks at the canvas and his cheeks brighten up a bit too, but he looks away respectfully.

“This is amazing, can I hang it up?” Kaminari asks, his eyes wide and full of love as he looks at you.

“It’s yours, do whatever you’d like with it, silly.” You kiss his cheek as you watch him jolt over to his bed and quickly move a poster so he can hang it up.

»»————-　★　————-««

eijiro kirishima

»»————-　★　————-««

After seeing the trend, you’re set on making one for Kirishima. You’ve been together for a few months, and feeling a little confident, you decide to surprise him for training so hard these past few weeks.

You paint your canvas the day before you plan on doing the project so it’s already dry and ready for you to plaster yourself on it.

You’ve chosen a crimson color, similar to the shades of red in both his hero costume and his dyed hair.

Kirishima always tries really hard, and his determination inspires you. He has his moments of self-doubt, but it just goes to show that he’s human, like you.

This is something you wanted to do because of him. Kirishima is always telling you how beautiful you are, and it’s hard to feel beautiful sometimes. So, feeling confident, you decide to make yourself, and him a little gift.

The process of stamping your butt, leg, and hand to the canvas is fun, and something you’ll remember forever.

You love the way it looks when it’s finished, and you’re proud of yourself.

Kirishima is lifting weights as he studies when you knock on his door. He shouts for you to come in.

“Hey babe!” He smiles when he sees you. You walk through the door, shimmying the canvas along with you.

“Hey Kiri.” You give him a quick kiss on the cheek and smile as you hold the canvas behind your back.

“What’s that?” He questions, eyeing the canvas.

“You’ve been working hard, and you also reminded me that we’re beautiful. So I made you something to say thank you.”

You hand him the canvas and he’s speechless.

Kiri’s heart was racing as he stared at the perfection before him. He would’ve packed it up and sent it to the nearest art museum to hang it there.

“You’re so gorgeous.” He whispers as he sets the canvas down and walks toward you, pulling you into a hug.

“Thank you, you’re gorgeous too.” You smile, kissing him softly.

“You are truly a work of art.” Kirishima pulls away and nuzzles you closer.

“Can I make one of these for you?” He asks innocently.

“Kiri!” Your face begins to heat up.

“What?!” It hits him. He face palms and waves his hand at you.

“Shut up!” You two begin to laugh.

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

After taking a few dates to art museums, and the trend you’ve seen all over social media, you’re inspired to give Todoroki an art piece.

It’s more of a gift for him being himself since your anniversary isn’t for another week or so.

But there’s nothing wrong with giving gifts to each other.

You paint your canvas black and let it dry. You’ve chosen a bright navy color, one similar to the color of his hero costume.

At first, you were going to do a classic red and white combo, but you figured he was probably tired of seeing the same color combo in everything.

So you rolled up your shorts and got to work applying the paint on your butt. When you sat down on the canvas, it was an odd feeling. The cold paint had gave you chills when you first applied it, but you soon got used to the feeling.

It was like cuddling up to Shoto’s right side on trips or whenever you two got time alone.

Applying the paint to your leg and pressing it against the canvas, you sat and waited for the paint to stick to the canvas. Standing, you did your hand print and did some final touches.

Letting it dry was surprisingly more agonizing than you thought. You were brimming with excitement, ready to go give it to him already.

when it was finally dry, you put on one of his sweaters, one you’d ‘borrowed’ from him, and some cozy pants.

Todoroki was reading in his room, skimming over a few chapters in one of the classes reading assignments.

when you knocked, he spoke up for you to come in. His eyes immediately noticed the canvas you were holding.

“Hey baby.” He says softly, a gentle smile on his lips. You could always lift whatever mood he was in.

“Hey Sho.” You respond as you tiptoe into his room. You bite your lip as you begin to speak.

“I made you something, and I hope you like it.” You turn over the canvas and hand it to him.

His eyes widen and his cheeks flush.

Your body was painted in a familiar shade of blue as he stares down at the art. It’s gorgeous.

“You made your body into art.” Todoroki hums quietly as he glances at a wall, ready to hang it up already.

“I did, it was a trend I saw-”

“You are a masterpiece, I am honored to have this.” Todoroki set the canvas down carefully and moves over toward you, peppering you with kisses.

“I love it, thank you.” Todoroki thanks you for your gift and your own cheeks begin to heat up.

“I’m glad you like it.” You smile, butterflies floating around in your stomach.

“You should make some more art, it’s lovely.” Todoroki admires it some more.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[dealwithwarlords]

Ikemen Vampire and their Godly parents

Inspired by Percy Jackson.

Mozart: Apollo

Son of the God of light, of sun, of music, of truth, of poetry, and arts. May not be a leader but set trends. I will start with the most obvious fact and that is Mozart’s talent for music, as all of us know Apollo’s children are exceptional for the arts in general. Mozart is not someone that tends to laugh frequently but as a good children of Apollo, you can hear the sound of what it could be beautiful Bells when he does, and a smile as warm as the sun. Because of his prolonged time on practicing he sometimes has little to none sunlight, that makes him really moody (more than he already is) so taking some walks or playing with Schelm in the garden are necessary for his health even if he claims to not need it.

Not all of Apollo’s children are blond, some of them have physical traits that are related to the sun such as freckles, warm skin subtones, and even if their hair is black if you see it in the sun light you can see a golden or brownish reflection on their hair, in Mozart’s case if we see carefully there’s also warm subtones such as beige, and pink :

While other white haired characters have cold undertones like blue:

Because of Mozart’s incredible fair skin it’s easy for him to get freckles. Apollo’s children are lie detectors, as they say, you cannot cover the sun with your thumb, Mozart knows from miles away when someone is lying.

Apollo’s children are scary when they get mad, be aware of what they could do when they lose control, just like Mozart, it may seem like he’s always angry but he actually isn’t, when he’s angry you will know.

Apollo’s kids are naturally over dramatic, they turn everything into inspiration for music, plays, etc. remember that time when Mozart said that dry things like cookies are his “worst enemy”? Just because Marie Antoinette gave him a bunch of them, he didn’t know what to do and decided it was a good idea to stuff everything in his mouth...

To what MC finished laughing because ... bruh 😂

Isaac: Athena

Goddess of wisdom, handicraft, knowledge and warfare. Children of Athena are gifted with a sharp and brilliant mind. Do I have to say more ? Isaac is a genius, he has an incredible hunger for knowledge, and curiosity that makes him discover the most incredible things in this world. Children of Athena enjoy reading a good book and most of the time you can see them lost in their thoughts.

We know that Athena’s children can be street smart and book smart, the majority likes to be street smart since they already have a facility to keep info from books, but in the case of our apple boy he’s chosen to be book smart, this kind of children tend to have difficulties to relate to others and create deep bonds since their brilliant minds make them feel detached from the world that surrounds them.

Napoleon : Zeus

Charismatic

Natural leaders

Children of Zeus are the leaders struggling with the pressure of being leaders. Since they are such a reliable people, their friends usually seek for them when they need help, maybe they are not as wise as a child of Athena, but their empathy makes them good advisers too. They’re strong and resilient.

Serious but yet humorous

Assertive

Children of Zeus are prideful, they like to tease others but when the tables turn they don’t really know how to react (not like they are doormats but more like in a teasing way something like pikachu face: “you ... you just teased the son of the lightening.. right in front of my salad” that kind of reaction. It’s actually kind of cute 😂

They can be flighty or warm, depends of the person they are dealing with and their mood.

Physically traits could be grey, blue or in some cases green eyes. Children of Zeus usually have gray hairs since a young age.

Arthur: Dionysus

God of wine, madness, ecstasy and theatre

Children of Dionysus are sociable, charismatic and the life of the party. The ones with all the connections. They’re the friend that everyone references when they say ‘I know a guy’ and we all know that Arthur knows or at least recognizes a lot of faces in Paris.

Children of Dionysus are not only party people, they are really clever too, people usually don’t give them credit for how smart they really are, but they prefer to keep that intelligence hidden ‘cause they don’t want to intimidate anyone, after all the party needs to continue !

They are the ones you can always count on to have a good time. The best telling jokes and reading the atmosphere of a room. they are the ones you call when you’re upset and just want to forget about reality for a night.

Stubborn, determined and chaotic nature.

Most of Dionysus children are empaths, that’s how they can feel the mood so well and make everyone have a good time, nevertheless if they don’t have a control over this ability it can be bad for their health, appropriating other people's problems or feeling guilty if they cannot help their friends as a good “host” would do.

Another thing, Arthur really seems to enjoy alcoholic beverages such as beer, wine, etc. besides coffee.

Talking about physical traits Dionysus children rock semi long hair, this chill and laid back appearance is the signature of the god of party and wine. Even when they wear formal clothes you can see this relaxed look on them.

I remember one time I read a post where it said that Dionysus children often have the nicest shoes in the room (idk why? 😂) BUT DUDE that’s true, there was also other post where you guys were talking about who had the best taste in shoes and guess who was one of the best fashionistas 👌👌😂

Also, olive undertones, in hair, skin, etc. if we see Arthur’s hair for example, sometimes it doesn’t appear to be entirely blue, it also has olive undertones:

Jean: Hades

God of the underworld

Talking about children of hades we can see that they are not only the “quiet ones” but also people with a sharp intuition. They observe everything and everyone, quietly. Tend to hold grudges and feel out of place, they stay a lot of time inside their heads and because of this children of hades usually have a hard time finding their “meaning in life” or “their place in this world”. Since they are deep they have a difficult time relating to others, meanwhile everyone is talking about the trends of the year, children of Hades are in other Chanel .

They like to be by their own, or maybe with someone that actually understands them.

I think most of the time people only focus on their “dark personality” and forget to appreciate other traits like the incredible willpower that they have to achieve anything that attracts their attention.

Physically talking, as we all know, children of Hades have dark tones in their hair, eyes and skin tone. There’s something cold in their appearance that makes them look intimidating and mysterious

Vincent : Apollo

Do I really need to explain this one ? 😂😂

I will just cover some facts that relate to Apollo’s children since Vincent is like the PERFECT example of what is being an Apollo’s child.

I think Vincent has a BIG potential to learn any instrument that he likes, also archery but I doubt it since he wouldn’t like to hurt anyone.

Is easy for Children of Apollo to tan, just imagine our angel with a beautiful sexy tan 🙌🏻😫✨

EMBODIMENT OF LIGHT

also, Apollo’s children are healers, and Vincent wants not only to help but if possible heal everyone’s suffer, as we can see in his route, he wants to help MC with her anxiety to return to her time nevertheless he’s never too pushy and waits until MC feels prepared to open up to him.

Apollo’s children are people pleasers, in a mini drama, Vicent tells Leonardo that if there was a girl in the mansion he wouldn’t know how to behave, since he only wants to give a good impression.

Leonardo : Hephaestus

Children of Hephaestus , Their minds are constantly working on something and their ideas running wild.

They have SO many ideas that they have dozens of project running AT THE SAME TIME, they can even compete with children of Athena.

Some of this children may not be geniuses but out of their curiosity and hunger for knowledge is because they can become worthy opponents to the other god or goddesses children.

Masters on none, but master of many.

They also got that freaking cheeky smile of their father.

Intelligent, good looking and good jokes.

Physically talking children of Hephaestus have strength in their upper body, just like their father, they have enough strength in their hands, arms and back to carry or forge any metal and turn it into a weapon (or any creation but you get me) what usually makes them have (on males) big shoulders or backs and in females, they have shorter but stronger fingers.

Comte : Aphrodite

Who was the one that fell in love in the middle of war ????

YUP this guy ☝️

Children of Aphrodite are hopeless romantic, they find beauty and love in the darkest places and times. They are the ones that you go for advice (not the kind of advice you would go to Athena, but one that helps your heart to find a solution).

They like luxury and aesthetic stuff, Comte with all the money that he has could be living his life like Leo, relaxing, giving little attention to appearances, etc. BUT NO

DADDY COMTE NEEDS TO WEAR HIS DIOR PAJAMAS AND RELAX IN A ROMAN BATH THANK YOU. It’s not like he’s superficial, but he just likes to pamper himself.

Children of Aphrodite have charm speak, Idk you but every time Comte speaks is like velvet for my ears. Most of the time people only see Aphrodite’s children as superficial, not so intelligent and unnecessary at battle but they are dead wrong, actually they are really observant and can be manipulative since they understand and almost feel others people emotions and intentions.

Even though their mother is the Goddess of Love, they can hide their emotions pretty well

It is known that Aphrodite’s children can speak fluently French and Oh look at that Comte is French, coincidence ? I DONT THINK SO.

Theo: Ares

God of war

Children of Ares are topically seen as this really short-tempered guy /girl but there’s more about them. I’m gonna start with the basic personality traits, Children of Ares are stubborn as hell, does it reminds you of Theo ? 😅 they are also really protective of those they love, it may not appear like it but they don’t like injustice, so when they see someone that’s being a jerk they fight with everything they got, sometimes they exaggerate tho.

HATES GOSSIP they like to say thing straight to the point and don’t have filter, sometimes they may seem rude but they are just saying the truth

Doesn’t take shit from anyone

Determinant and never gives up, they also give (its rare but they do) advices when they see you really struggling with something, an example of this could be when (in Leo’s route) MC had a hard time deciding what to choose between staying in 19th century France or coming back to her time with Leo, to what Theo noticed her struggling and gave her a brief but nice advice.

HARD ON THE OUTSIDE SOFT ON THE INSIDE

Children of Ares are aware that they intimidate their siblings, that’s why they become silent and prefer to stay in their cabin, but if you want them to open up to you, a nice smile and kind personality would be a great combo to go with them.

Children of Ares are really intelligent, after all their father is also a strategist.

Shakespeare: Hades

Again ... do I have to explain this one ? 😂

Shakespeare is deep af. Children of Hades see the deepest and darkest things in life, that’s why they tend to feel depressed, but because of that they also can see the brightest parts. This contrast usually is embodied in an artistic way, it may be in plays, dancing, singing, stories, etc.

The goth friend

Children of Hades are one of the kindest siblings among all God and Goddesses out there since they know what loneliness feels like.

guess who feels like that ? YUP Will does

they like to be alone but not lonely.

Dazai: Dionysus

Dionysus was known to be a Reckless, crazy god that resembled freedom and fun. Children of Dionysus are usually found smiling for ... no specific reason, some could say is even scary or suspicious, like if they were drunk 😅.

Dionysus has parties where everyone dances and can fall into madness and ecstasy. Dazai is a sensual man, he has this aura that is just so appealing and comfortable to be with, but he is still a mystery, just like his father. Dyonisus was a god that usually doesn’t get in other’s people problems but it is known that he has a lot of powers, and the majority remains a mystery to humans.

Dazai is someone that craves to feel and be loved, but is scared to be rejected for who he really is, instead of that he prefers to show the “clown facade” that everyone likes, after all is easier to have “company” in a party full of people that you don’t know but they don’t really care about you than opening up to someone and being vulnerable.

People usually describe children of Dionysus as “crazy”

They are normally underestimated, but they have an incredible ability for the arts, they create the most crazy yet deep monologues.

These people tend to get obsessed over things they like, this is somewhat bad for them since they can get addicted to things like alcohol, tobacco, etc.

Talking about physical traits, Dazai is like the perfect definition of a Dionysus child, chill appearance, medium long hair, PURPLE HAIR, likes (maybe a little too much) alcohol, smooth voice.

Sebastian : Demeter

Goddess of agriculture, fertility, nature, and seasons.

Children of Deméter have this motherly figure in their group of friends.

Natural protectors.

Great cooks

They can be really strict at scolding their friends, family etc. but they just want the best for their loved ones.

Children of Deméter aren’t really aggressive, but don’t get in their wrong side which would be trying to hurt their family, because they go havoc.

They have an amazing intuition, just like a good mother.

Their personalities are calm and collected, they may panic on the inside when something bad happens but never let it show.

Deméter children are so aware of the details they are the ones that give the best gifts since they know deeply their loved ones, what they like and what they don’t, again, like a good mother.

Faust: Hecate

Goddess of magic, witchcraft, ghosts, necromancy and crossroads.

Children of Hecate are really intelligent and have an amazing memory, after all they have to memorize dozens of spells.

They usually have lots of books, since they have to know the functionality and sources of the magic they are using.

CU RI O US

They may appear frightening since they face and aesthetic aren’t really welcoming sometimes, but they are actually pretty nice.

SNAKE PERSONALITY

cunning and ambitious

Children of Hecate know how to handle necromancy, which makes them closer to death, that’s why talking about this kind of topics doesn’t scare them.

Children of Hecate can be obsessive, they can stay all day and all night practicing their witchcraft, PLS SOMEONE TAKE THEM OUT OF THEIR ROOM.

They have a different type of aesthetic, maybe is not totally GOTH but there’s something religious or spiritual there, they believe that there is a superior power in the world.

Incredibly good teachers. They may not be as charismatic as Apollo kids, but they are patient and good listeners.

Calm but can be sadists too so be careful.

Vlad : Nemesis

Children of Nemesis, as their mother, tend to hold grudges and is really difficult for them to forget those who wrong them.

They can go ExTrEMe lengths in their revenge, elaborate plans that doesn’t matter how much time they take, they will do it.

Maybe scarier than Children of Ares.

Yandere personality who ?

They are really observant and intelligent, they have the ability to find Achilles ankle of any of their enemies.

Manipulative, that gives them the ability to awake rage on the ones they want like allies.

Curiously children of Nemesis have a strong sense of justice and balance, and they will do anything to carry on with their ideals, even if that means taking extreme measures.

Physically talking there’s always red on them, and I’m talking about red hair, liking for red color, and oh ! Look at that, who has red eyes ??

Charles : Tyche

Goddess of chance, fate and fortune.

I really had a hard time deciding for this one, and I don’t know a lot about him but from what I’ve seen I can say he’s a Tyche’s child.

Children of Tyche are extremely friendly and enthusiastic.

J O K E S

very hyperactive

Smarter than they look, observant and empaths, also they like to prank people like a pixie would do.

Pretty smiles, and they giggle like a lot.

Usually green eyes.

Obviously they like to gamble or if the other participants doesn’t like to, Children of Tyche conform with just playing

They love nature and animals.

A kid in an adult body

Don’t let their cute smiles, dimples or freckles fool you, they can be manipulative.

Idk why but I imagine Tyche kids with fairy like features, maybe that’s why lots of them have a short height.

[obsidiancreates]

What’s This? An AU, of An AU, of An AU? Hell Yeah Baby AU Turducken.

(An AU of the Sia RP Roleplay, which is an AU of my Vampire Markiplier Egos AU. AU cubed.)

(Sia and Evan are @sororia04s’s OCs!)

--------

Doc stumbles through the forest, panting. Stupid speed, work, work.

“Come back! The ritual is incomplete!”

Doc keeps quiet, but in his head he’s screaming, 'Why would I want to change that?!’

He shouts as he slams into another person. He scrambles to his feet, expecting another- another wizard or whatever they were-

Instead he’s face-to-face with another terrified person, looking at him with wide eyes. “Who-who are you?”

“Who are you?”

“I-I’m no-one.”

“Me either-”

Doc and his roadblock both shout as two more people slam into them, knocking them both down. They all four get up, ready to fight.

The other two look haggard. Doc looks bad, yes, with blood on his neck and dripping down his chin and his scrubs torn and dirty, but these men look like they’ve been on the run for decades.

The one in the ruined winter coat steps in front of his friend with the pink mustache. “Are you two Hunters?”

Doc and the first roadblock share a confused look. 

“What?” they both say at once.

The man in the coat sighs. “Too convincing for Hunter acting, thank god. My name is Dam- er, Dark. This is Willia- Wilford, I mean.”

The man with the pink mustache smiles and waves.

“I-I’m Eric,” the roadblock says, twisting a yellow cloth in his hands.

“Doc.”

They just watch each other warily for a bit.

“... Just been turned?” Dark ventures, looking at Doc’s neck.

Doc puts his hand over it. “Long story,” he says weakly.

“I see him!”

Dark pulls out a knife. “What’s that?”

“The story,” Doc says, “Shit, shit-”

“Climb the trees!”

Dark has scaled the tree before Doc even fully registers the words. He scrambles his way up, and presses against the trunk. Don’t see him, don’t see him, don’t see him-

He hears footsteps, and sickeningly, heartbeats. They’re right below, and oh, gross, his mouth is watering, he’s about to vomit-

“Frick off!”

The shout comes from the ground.

Doc peeks, and sees five guys facing against the, the necromancers, maybe.

“We’re searching for someone,” the head magic guy says.

“Don’t care! Frick off!”

The mage laughs. “Frick? Really?”

The guy, a young man in a dirty tank top, scowls. “Yeah, really! Googles! Go to town!”

The four other men move forward in unison, and Doc closes his eyes as screams ring through the trees. He hears most of the mages escape, but he can smell enough blood to know it wasn’t without losses.

Things are silent for a moment.

“You dudes can come down!”

Doc peeks out again.

“You have a murder squad!” he hears Dark shout back.

“Yeah, but you dudes are vamps! I am too! Kinda! So like, we’re all being hunted by dudes, yeah?”

There’s a pause, and then Dark and Wilford appear back on the ground. Eric follows. Doc sighs, steps down... and unceremoniously tumbles out of the tree.

“Ow,” he wheezes.

The guy in the tank top helps him up. “Don’t worry bruh, that leg’ll heal right up. I’m Bing, these are the Google bros. They’re named after their colors.”

The four other men make no introductions.

“They’re androids,” Bing says. “Still working on getting them to not hate people.”

“And-androids?” Eric steps away from them. “Like-like robots?”

Bing nods. “That’s who I’m being hunted down by. I’m the world’s first ever working cyborg, and like, a whole buncha androids and robots want me to lead an uprising thing.”

“Oh,” Doc says weakly. “That’s what those guys want me for, but um, not robots.”

“Oh, sweet! Er, I mean, that sucks. Uh-”

“Wait!” Dark is looking into the woods. “Hang on, I know that feeling-”

Two more people tumble out of the woods yet again. Dark catches on, and his eyes widen in disbelief. “The DA?”

The person moves out of his arms, an equally disbelieving look on their face. They bring their hands up and sign, “Damien?”

The other man gets up, groaning. “I’m fine, thanks for asking,” he grumbles.

“Mark,” The DA signs, “Mark, it’s Damien!”

“Holy- you’re alive? Your file said you were probably dead.”

“Really? ... Then why the fuck are you Hunters always after me?”

Mark shrugs. “They kept a lot of secrets. Former Hunters, by the way.”

“Dude, we’ve got a whole troop going!” Bing looks excited by this. 

“Hey Bing?”

“Yeah, Doc Dude?”

“You can let go now. My leg did heal up, I think.”

“Oh, yeah, for suh dude! Sorry.”

Doc stands up, and tests his leg. “Oh, that’s freaky.”

“You-you get used to-to it,” Eric says tiredly.

“If there’s anyone else in the woods, please come out now!” Wilford shouts.

“There can’t possibly be-”

Three more people step out.

Dark throws up his hands. “What do I know? A hundred and thirty years old and I’m still oblivious.”

The guy in the middle, a man with a once-white shirt and striped pants, waves a little. “We’s was hoping youse would move on, to be fairs. We’s bein’ hunted too.”

“By Hunters?”

“Uh, I’m bein’ hunted by my olds dance troop.”

“Oh. That’s... new.”

“The Host is being hunted by a group of Artistic Sadists whom he used to be friends with.”

Everyone startles, getting a proper look at that guy for the first time. Bing slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle a scream, and Eric starts to hyperventilate.

“The Host is aware he has no eyes. He will not be offended by freak outs.”

“No, no, I’m over it,” Bing says, voice a little strained. “It’s bad-butt. ... I have a swearing filter in my programming, please don’t look at me like that. I literally can’t control it.”

The last man raises his hand. “Hi, Bim Trimmer. Have you heard of my family before? Old money, stuck up, evil assholes who want to sacrifice me to gain immortality and power.”

Doc and Eric speak at the same moment.

“I think that’s what the mage guys wanted to do to me.” “I-I’m on the-the run from my-my dad too.”

“Oh, we already have something in common. How nice.”

They all stand around looking at each other for a while.

“... You guys wanna team up?” Bing suggests.

Bim gives him a look, raising his eyebrow. “We just met. And it seem like most of us already have teams.”

“Look, we’re all being hunted, yeah? By a buncha different groups. But like, we’re a small army, right? There’s like, fourteen of us. We might as well stick together.”

“We don’t even know each other,” Dark argues.

“We know none of us are trying to kill each other! That’s already way better than most of our interactions with strangers, yeah?”

There’s murmurings of agreement.

“Alright, so, let’s just like, try to trust each other, and see if we can, I dunno, manage to make a home base. Pretty obvious we’ve all been running for our lives for like, years on end, so-”

Doc and Eric shout, jumping to the side, as two more people roll out of the woods. This time, people with heartbeats.

They both get to their feet as quick as they can. The woman holds a pocket knife in her hands, and the young man holds a heavy book. Siblings, clearly. They press against each other, eyes wild and with a readiness to fight.

There’s a tense silence, a breeze the only disturbance in the area.

And then Bim speaks up.

“So, who’s chasing you two?”

The two siblings look confused for a moment. 

“We’re all being hunted,” Dark says in the voice of someone who’s rehashing something he’s tired of rehashing.

“... It’s personal,” the woman says.

“Is it your family? That’s what I first said, and the answer if my family,” Bim replies.

“... Maybe.”

“What’re your names?” Dark asks. 

“... Sia.”

The young man looks at her like she’s crazy, and she shrugs. He looks up. “... Evan.”

“Nice too meet you.” “Hi.” “It-it’s a pleasure.” There’s a whole speech’s worth of different greetings.

Bing beams at them. “Want to join our club?”