#like you're the reason Roman became the person he now

[sweet-angeleye]

"and you got no idea how much that hurts me to say"

HE STILL CARES ABOUT ROMAN BUT REFUSES TO HELP HIM 😭😭

JUST HELP THEM OUT ALREADY DAMN GIRL

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

Back at it again being So Normal About worldbuilding about the cesitail beings and reread Syzygy for the billionth time, and missing so much foreshadowing like, how the fuck did I not see this coming. Bro, My guy, I just-- GRABS SYZYGY BY MY MOUTH AND SJKDFHSDJFHSKDHFDSKFHSDKFHS Cough Anyhoots. I may… have not climbed out of the "Flavors/Herbs/FOOD being a part of Syzygy magic" rabbit hole, But it's been 2 weeks and I wanna explore something new, I'll get back to the Food Magic later A-hem

Hollows, amiright? Skin and bodies of Hollows just magically work similar to humans, right? They can get drunk without a liver; I assume that when Juice touched Janus, his skin sizzled like how a human's would. I assume they run normal temperture. They give off everything to be perceived as humans SO MUCH, from needing actual sleep to food for energy, and to the tastebuds etc.

The only thing that keeps them being alive is just perceiving themselves to be alive, right? What's the limit on that? Can you cut off an arm of a hollow? I'm very aware that would painfully hurt, but would they deflate? Could you reattach it? I imagine you can't regrow it, seeing that you need so much much energy to match what a singular arm do. Much more easier to attach said arm. What if it's your head, though?? Hollows actually need air in them to function because deflation is A THING.

If someone, stupidly determined, to find the limit of being alive, what would they find out, is this whY REMUS COULDN'T BE HOLLOW? BECAUSE HE WOULD NO DOUBT FIND THE LIMIT?! LET MY BOY BE HOLLOW FOR SHIT AND GIGGLES. I ASSUMED THAT THE REASON WHY ROMAN AND REMUS BECAME GHOSTS BECAUSE SOMETHING MUST'VE HAPPENED TO SPLIT THEM FROM THE REST BUT I BET THIS IS THE REAL REASON /j/j/j/j/j/j (Smhh, the Sun is so godsdamned powerful but can't split a man's personality into perfectly 6 hollows? smhh)

Taking a brief break from writing Folk Music Academic Analysis to answer this to the best of my abilities. HELLO! The reason you missed so much foreshadowing is because I intentionally crammed the first few chapters of Syzygy with so many 'what the fuck?' moments of worldbuilding to distract anyone reading the first time. It's only because you're desensitized to the weirdness of dragons being real and everything being back-to-front and the city being clockwork that you start to notice things the second time and onward. But that wasn't the question!

Can you cut off the arm of a hollow? Obviously you can! You can cut the arm off anything, with enough effort! But you can think of hollows as very slowly deflating paper bags. When Janus slices himself open as a demonstration in chapter four, he doesn't immediately deflate and collapse into a heap of skin, because it's a pretty small wound, all things considered. The bigger the breach, the quicker the complete bodily collapse is, and the more deflated a hollow is the harder it is to bring them back - a bit like when your heart stops beating or when you stop breathing, for a normal human person. So, in that respect, cutting off a hollow's arm is about as dangerous as cutting a flesh-and-blood person's arm off - if you move quick, you can probably cauterize/seal the wound quick enough that they'll survive. But it's certainly not going to be fun or easy to recover from.

If you cut off a hollow's head, you will hear a comical squeal of air like a deflating balloon, and then their body will go flying everywhere (like a deflating balloon), and they will be pretty much completely dead and deflated before you can catch up to them, also their head will collapse. Hollow Beheadings were outlawed in the mid-1700s because they were just too silly to take seriously. (This started out mostly a joke but it's making me laugh thinking about it, so it might actually be canon now. Whoops.)

You have hit the nail on the head for why Remus in particular is not a hollow, in an out-of-universe me-writing-it sense. He would be such a menace to deal with. He'd burn the Stacks to the ground. In-universe (and I think I mentioned this in the comments at some point? can't remember, I've written a lot of explanations/extra worldbuilding in the comments) Roman and Remus are ghosts and not hollows because they function at a much more conceptual and unrealistic level than the other sides - they're more Imagination Juice and Creative Power than the others, so they wouldn't quite fit into the hollow suits that the others could, there just wasn't enough of them to make entire real people. Maybe if there was only one Creativity, they could make another non-ghostly addition to the Hollow Side Squad, but as it was... they ended up as leftover energy clinging onto reality, with most of their personalities/memories intact, but not enough power to, like, really affect things or push the plot in any solid direction. Not until the ball properly got rolling, anyway.

[atranswomansdiary]

Day 156

November 8, 2020

“Dies ist der Morgen danach Und meine Seele liegt brach Dies ist der Morgen danach Ein neuer Tag beginnt Und meine Zeit verrint”

So, yeah: it is the morning after.

Things went well, I guess? Not as I expected at all but, in retrospect, I don’t know what the fuck was I thinking about when I imagined things going, let’s put it this way, “smoothly” when it is about things that concern me.

First things first: of course that one of my siblings forgot what I had asked and fucking missed the family meeting! She was kind of apologetic, saying that she really, absolutely had to meet with her boyfriend this very day, but it was still a shitty thing to do, in my opinion. If someone who never does so asks you, explicitly and ahead of time, to please be present for something, I think the least you can do is either commit to it or say outright that you won’t be there. I imagine that she didn’t want to be there because she didn’t want to be part of the family drama? I don’t know and, to be honest, I don’t think it really matters. I don’t think her presence would’ve changed the outcome or the others' reactions.

When I found out about them not being there, I had to make a decision. Either I canceled the whole thing or I moved forward. I decided to be respectful to my other sisters (and to my parents) and just go ahead with the thing.

We ate some lunch, had some chit-chat, and then the time came for me to open up and tell them the reason for the family meeting. Instead of going for some kind of preface or explanation, I chose to go for the Aristotelian line of reasoning. In other words: I started with the conclusion.

So I told them what I had told my (remaining and former) friends: “I’m considering transitioning”.

Let’s start with the positive stuff. My younger sister’s reaction was almost everything I could have hoped for. She asked me the usual questions—”Are you sure? Have you considered whether you're just gay?” Etc.—and, once I reassured them that yes, I was sure of at least considering the possibility, she seemed to be onboard. No drama there—at least not for now.

Speaking of drama: my dad cried. Like a lot. And he never cries. It shocked me and it really threw me off, but it was at least an emotional reaction, and he said it was because he was imagining my suffering. Of course I cried during this part as well. And if that had been all, if this was the full report, I’d say that it went OK. Could’ve been better, but it could’ve been way worse too.

And then we come to the subject of my mom.

Being completely transparent here, this was the reaction that matter to me the most. Not because I love her more than my dad or my sisters, but because she’s the one I have the closest relationship with. We talk almost every day over the phone and we have long conversations. She genuinely cares for me and my well-being, and does everything in her power to help me. She sends me frozen meals cooked by her, she washes my clothes (and sometimes irons them, against my protestations), and is all around just there for me, you know?

And she’s also, in her own words, a Roman Catholic. And a traditionalist and all around conservative. She’s the type of person that complains that life was better before… And she actually means it. She’s not a homophobe, but seeing two homosexuals displaying any signs of affection makes her squirm. She doesn’t practice her religion much… But you wouldn’t know it by listening to her. She is, all in all, a proper baby boomer with a pension that’s a misery but who still thinks that capitalism and our overall system are as good as it's ever going to get.

So now you understand why her reaction was so important to me—and why I dreaded it so much.

I was thinking the other day, trying to see if my memories could help me foresee her reaction… And the results were not great.

I remember two instances where she and I didn’t agree on important issues and it became a problem. The first was about religion—of course! We had many arguments back in the day, when I was young and stupid (I’m no longer young, thank you very much). At one point, it got so bad that I used to either work all weekend or escape to my grandparents’ or a friend’s house in order to avoid arguing with her.

The second time I recall was the time when I told her that I had decided to study philosophy once I was finished with high school. I don’t know why, but she lost it. This time we didn’t argue so much as she just stopped talking to me and looked at me like I had a disease or something for days.

In both instances, things only got better when I gave in. I just stopped saying out loud what I though about religion at home. I kept my ideas in general to myself and to whoever wanted to listen to me. And I didn’t study philosophy after high school.

Come to think of it, there’s another very important thing my mom and I have never agreed upon… And this is the only instance I can think of in which I’ve gone directly against her wishes. My mom doesn’t really like that I’m a writer. She never has. She never asks about it, nor has she never expressed any words of support for me regarding it. In fact, she always asks, “when are you going to get a real job?” whenever she can. And I’ve been pretty serious about writing (at least as much as an asshole like me can be about anything) for the past… Decade? Whoa! Times flies away indeed.

And yet, in spite of her lack of support and constant sabotage, I haven’t given in. And every time she’s been happy because I got a “real job” in the past ten years, for one reason or another, I’ve felt myself dying a little inside.

You can tell I’m delaying the inevitable, can’t you?

So, what happened? Nothing awful. At least not dramatically awful or anything like that. She didn’t disavow of me or ask me to leave, no. She just stood there, by my side, looking straight ahead (and perhaps avoiding looking at me?) and didn’t say a single thing. Not one word came out of her mouth. She didn’t cry like my dad nor asked questions like my sister. She just stood there, stone-faced and seemingly in shock. She said something about it being “my life” and “my business” (or something to that effect) and then avoid talking about it for the rest of the evening.

A part of me wants to believe that she’ll change her attitude regarding this, that maybe one day she’ll say that it’s OK, that she loves me and she’ll embrace me and say something like “I love you just the way you are. I always have and I always will.” Yeah, well, I didn’t say that I was a good writer.

Another part of me, the more cynical or realistic one, tells me that no, that this is it. That I have to continue forward and make my decision—whether to transition or not—regardless of my mom’s support… Or lack thereof. That a decision as important as this one can only be made from my center, from whatever makes me me. That it cannot depend on external approval of any kind, my mom’s included.

So here I am, the morning after, wondering whether this’ll be like religion or me studying philosophy… Or like being a writer. This is perhaps the greatest, cruelest test to my incipient transness. Will I go forward or will I go back? Can I? Today, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow. Definitely, one day, I hope I will know for sure.

Until then, with love,

ZZ

[azaleassence]

𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝'𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 ✓

❁ ― ship: shoto t. x reader

❁ ― warnings: death

❁ ― mha masterlist. main masterlist

❁ ― inspired by this tiktok video

There's a Roman god of love, desire and attraction, it's name is Cupid.

For some, they tend to believe that Cupid is the reason why someone falls in love.

Cupid shoots two people with their arrows, making them fall in love, it's like playing a game of matchmaker.

But sometimes, Cupid runs out of arrows so they shoot one person instead of two;

That person just so happens to be you.

Ever since you were introduced to him, you fell in love almost instantly, like Cupid was following you around; waiting for you to find your match.

It surely was just a small crush you developed as a kid, it would most certainly be gone by the time you're older, right?

No. No it wasn't.

When you both finished middle school, you asked his sister on what highschool he'll go to.

When you learned that he was going to one of the most prestigious highschool in Japan, you almost lost your hope in attending, but for him; you were willing to do anything.

Day after day after day, you trained and trained continuously, always coming home tired.

But it all paid off when you received the welcoming letter by UA, you were happy that you got in, but you were so joyous when you learned that you both will be in the same class.

The first half of your first year was chaotic, a student got kidnapped, you encountered almost over 50 villains, and you faced at least 2 almost-death experiences.

During that half of the school year, you tried so deparately hard to become closer to Shoto, but after time, you didn't make much progress.

But your new classmates did.

They became incredibly close to Shoto in a span of 5 months while busted your ass to become close to him for the 10 whole years.

But you continued to persevere, you didn't want to give up so easily.

But time has a funny way of being moody.

You laid on the ground, bloody and wounded. If you were to see yourself-- you wouldn't be able to recognize your own self.

You were crushed in debris, how did you get there?

At the fight with Tomura Shigaraki, everybody gave their all to become support and help to the pro heroes, you did your best as well, but it wasn't enough.

You couldn't scream for help, you couldn't use your quirk, all you could do was lay there, hoping and waiting for someone to find you.

And eventually someone did.

Shoto.

When he found you, you were already struggling to keep your eyes open, the sight in front of him almost terrified him; why?

With the help of your other classmates, you were brought out of the debris and to the open. Shoto was carrying you so delicately, afraid that if there would be any pressure applied to your body; you'd break.

All your other classmates had run off, looking for the nearest medic while Shoto was left with you.

"Hey, keep your eyes open-- don't close them."

You nodded, feeling happy that his face might be the last one you'll see, but at least it was his'.

"You should go, Shoto." Your voice was raspy and it almost hurts whenever you speak, but you didn't mind as long as you talked to him, right?

Shoto looked at you as if you were crazy, he was certain that he won't leave you there alone.

"No, I'll stay here until the medics arrive." He assures you.

Your heart warms as you smiled up at him.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

He stared at you, confused to what was your point.

"Before, you used to push everyone away when they got too close to you; now, you have so many friends." You continued. "So it wouldn't matter if I go now, wouldn't it?"

His eyes almost widened in disbelief, are you actually--

"I don't have enough time, Shoto. No matter how many times the medics try to heal me; it won't be enough." You told him, Shoto felt this stinging pain in his eyes, was he... crying?

Your eyes softened as you saw his eyes watering.

"Don't cry, I don't want to go with you crying as my last memory." You smiled, trying to keep yourself from crying as well. "I'm glad you got to find friends to comfort and be with you during your happiest times, and I'm grateful to be your friend as well."

He wiped his teary eyes with his shoulder to keep holding to you.

"But for me, you weren't just a friend." You statement caught him off-- no, this couldn't be happening now. "You're someone I look up to, someone I admire, and someone I wish I confessed to sooner."

His arms trembled, it was happening, and it was happening now.

"I love you Shoto and I'm thankful that you came into my life, because with you: I experienced the most happiest moments in life--"

"No, no, stop it. Don't say those words, the medics are coming and they'll save you, I know they will!" He shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks.

You reached up your hand to his cheeks and wiped his tears, smiling as you felt yourself getting teary-eyed as well.

"I love you, Shoto." You say with your last breath as your hand falls to the side of your body, Shoto sucked in a quick breath, his arms were trembling as he brought your body closer to him, giving you the sweetest hug, wishing that he would've done that a long time ago.

When your classmates came back with the medics, they halted their footsteps, seeing Shoto hugging your lifeless body, they knew that they were too late.

"I love you too..." Shoto mumbled so that only the two of you could hear it.

All left to wonder was, why did it took so long for Cupid to find you again and finally shoot their other arrow to your match when your arrow had already broke.

[firebreathingcatss-blog]

How can WWE tell us Kevin is wrong when he's been "the only guy who watches wrestling" and the only one that knows whats going on. Especially when Cody counters with "you have a small dick he's jealous of my suits" and just pulls shit out of nowhere for Kevin's reasons for turning that doesn't support the narrative and only serves to not make it Cody's fault.

We saw why. It is Cody's fault. We SAW it build in the narrative. We saw Kevin struggle for months. With his temper that's been acknowledged for YEARS. Cody helping Roman, the thing that made Kevin snap, does not make Cody a bad person. It's Cody's lack of ownership of Kevin snapping. We could have a great story of Cody trying to be a good person, getting help against the bloodline and not realizing it hurt his struggling friend and now he has to reason with the monster he created (it honestly could be a reversed role Seth vs Roman). Instead, we get "your dick is small" and "you're jealous of my position in the company." When Kevin has helped Cody for YEARS. We saw him decide and the build focused on this, refusing cheap shots at Cody for MONTHS. It was this ONE thing that made Kevin snap. It's how Cody and the rest of WWE is treating him in his reaction that is leaving a bad taste in people's mouths because we SAW what led to this and now it's like WHY KEVIN WHY HUR HUR ITS BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK. Like, im supposed to be rooting against KEVIN?? In this situation?

This is nothing like Drew's turn where we understand why, but he's still clearly the heal because while Jey deserved Drew's hate, Drew continued to spiral and lash out and make choices that made him a hypocrite in his turn like siding with the judgement day or being cool with the bloodline interfering with his match w Jey. SOLO WAS RIGHT THERE THE ONE WHO COST HIM HIS TITLE. He had reasons to hate Jey, but Jey making amends narratively, and Drew just wanted to murder him went against the babyface playbook. Drew didn't have to forgive Jey, but his clear reasoning became muddled. He got in his own head and became this unhinged magnificent beast that I dearly love, and sometimes he's still very much right. Kevin, on the other hand, is just right and nobody here is trying to make amends or prove themselves or even apologize. That's why hes not getting the heal heat they want. The booing is people who just want to have fun and boo when their supposed to. The only saving grace of this story besides Kevin being fabulous as usual would be if they play into Kevin's superpower of understanding Kayfabe and while WWE/Cody are like why Kevin why, narratively it's acknowledged Kevin is right here.

[wwerasliin-sideblog]

(I don't claim to know a lot about Roman or Seth or the Shield. These are just an amateur layman's thoughts based from just before WM 40)

Why isn't Roman trying? —

More than anything I think he's scared. And that's a wise thing. Scared of being betrayed again.. Scared of what he's going to find if he looks within himself.. Scared of losing the little he still has left in his grasp..

Is looking at himself going to be — Too much? Too intense? - to face. Or maybe he doesn't think his "problems" are to blame - so why look?

Yea he definitely needs to at least acknowledge the 'problems'. But it's like he's almost too afraid of his feelings and what he's going to find. Is he going to see himself for who he's really become, and like it?? Nah he doesn't want that.

Deep down he knows the consequences of what really looking at himself will produce. And the choices he's going to have to make because of it, and the actions he's going to have to take in relation to it. He's not ready, but is there really a perfect time though? Sometimes, there's never a perfect time for these things - if that's what he's waiting for. And if that's what he's waiting for...he's going to be waiting forever.

He's been blaming everything on everyone else. The way he acts and keeps acting, the decisions he makes and keeps making, the choices he keeps choosing...All because of everything and everyone else...especially that one betrayal, that one point in time, that one person who did it (iykyk).

But for how long? Till it is now your own choices that cause you to act the way you do. You're own actions that lead to the consequences they do. Not because of what somebody else did, but because of what you're doing. Now. At some point you're going to have to take responsibility and own up to your actions. Own up to whom you've become. Own up to who you continue to be.. Let's see if it's going to be sooner rather than later...or maybe, tragically never.

P.S. But I also feel like people are saying Seth is blaming everything on Roman, like Seth feels like he is in the right. But I don't see that. He's the one that said he was part of why Roman is like this, became like this - he helped in creating the start of this monster. He also just said he doesn't want to be a part of it. He doesn't want Roman to go back to all that tyrannical power. -How is Roman ever going to change if that happens?- Seth wants Roman to change, change for the better. Whether it's out of guilt or love, or most likely a combination of both.. ["I will not do it and you got no idea how much that hurts me to say... It hurts me here *pointing at his heart* for a LOT of reasons"] - Seth

[ofmays]

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ❍﹒𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝚂𝙰𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙴. history major &&; stereotypical brooding bookworm : house pulgasari's vice captain with an expertise in BLOOD MANIPULATION and RBF. . . he also really loves tchaikovsky and wine ( ONLY RED !! ) and will one hundred percent talk your ears off about the rise and fall of marie-antoinette &&; the roman empire — the roman empire IS his roman empire !!

hi everyone !! really excited to get to writing with everyone and learn about your muses all the more !! i'm finn ( he/they, 24 ) & i'll be writing MAY while staying here !! here are some direct links to may's PROFILE, his ANOMALY and his unfinished PLOTS page that i'll definitely get to in due time !! ( here's a quick rules page too for reference !! ) below this i'll leave a tldr on his background and ability, feel free to like this post if you're interested in plotting, but be warned that i'm going to be messaging each and every one of you anyways !! :3c

tw: small mention of blood/animal death !! i tried to be as brief as possible so apologies for the word vomit fr...

⠀ ❍﹒ current : brief about may as of now !!

may "kwanchai" sailee — don't call him kwanchai though...nobody does... !! currently 25 and is a taurus sun, cap moon and sag rising to anyone who knows what that means !! he is currently on his post-graduate year of history and is house pulgasari's vice captain (its very srs to him ok ??) he's known to be a hermit and keep to himself, mostly tucked away in corners of the library or campus. he love love LOVES classical music and what he studies, don't ask him about his interests or he won't shut up !! oh, and definitely don't ask him about his anomaly or he'll try to k*ll you with his brain . . .

⠀ ❍﹒ background : he doesn’t really have a tragic backstory tbh…all of his current problems stem from his distaste for his anomaly and what kind of person it makes him !! below i’ve left some trivia points i guess ?? just to get to know him better !!

— may is born to two loving parents in bangkok, thailand as their first son, a product of their pre-arranged marriage. he has one older sister and one younger sister. although his parents would disagree, he’s incredibly spoiled by them and is their secret favorite child (for some reason…) they are incredibly wealthy due to may's father's involvement in the fuel industry.

— throughout his youth, he attended only the best of the best schools and after school activities. he picked up ballet at a young age and excelled at it along with his studies. he still loves ballet to this day, but is far too dedicated to his current major: history, to pick it back up. he settles on watching drama rehearsals for now. a certain hamlet is just way too eye catching for him to look away…

— he learned of his anomaly at age eleven when a mouse was caught in a trap at home. he didn’t like seeing the mouse in distress, it evoked something in him, and the next thing he knows he’s directing blood back into its wound, steady, steady…until the pressure became too much and he near explodes the creature in his palm, killing it. since then he’s had a distaste for his ability and only uses it on himself.

— blood based anomalies run in his family, and while may has never been shamed for his ability, he was instructed throughout his life to keep it a secret while he attended high ranking schools. little did may know that it would prove to be incredibly difficult to keep his ability to himself due to his blood empathy, and soon enough his parents realized that it wouldn't be easy to hide it. in search of answers they found nuvilli, a drug currently in production. along with providing generous donations to the drug itself, and later to seoul university for anomalies, may was admitted to the university on the base of a scholarship, but to anyone else he basically paid his way in.

— may is extreeeemely anti-social...like really anti-social, and it's mostly to protect his own mental health with his blood empathy, nothing personal !! (most of the time) he gets a bad reputation for his overall attitude and anomaly; most would see him as intimidating(? or something similar!) and weird. he's actually really sweet under it all though, he has a lot of love and care to give !!

— being the vice captain of pulgasari is like a full time job to him /srs. he seemingly becomes a whole new person while taking part in games and meetings; entirely more confident. it's the only time he actually gets to show off his anomaly without feeling like a freak for it !! he's known to be pretty involved on field during games-- he's kiiind of an ace but he definitely won't say that about himself . . .

❍﹒ anomaly : a brief breakdown !!

may has a blood manipulation ability, he can use it for blood-bending and blood links, and suffers from blood empathy as a by product. he can only use blood for bending (from himself and from others) when it is visible. he's kinda really ashamed of his anomaly and doesn't talk about it a lot or use it :/ his main weaknesses are sight proximity and water !!

❍﹒ plots : a few quick ones i just thought of rn !!

— tutor may where may tutors your muse and helps them with school work ?? he's very studious and likes to help others when it comes to school work !! he also has a lot of extra time to himself due to being in his post-graduate year of uni !! (less days for a whooole lot more work to do) this is one of those plots where may will actually force himself to be social . . . — house pulgasari members plz plz plz !! self explanatory but maybe they get to see a different more confident side of may !! — his one and only sole ex that ruined his mental for months after they broke up because he swore he wouldn't get into a relationship for that EXACT REASON but he did it anyways and it went way worse than he could have ever anticipated !! both of them probably sucked like it was bad for both parties . . . — people who also live in the yellow hall !! self explanatory again >< — those who are in different houses than house pulgasari...they probably don't like may and may doesn't like them either...a fun competitive plot :3c — overall just people that get on may's nerves and visa-versa !! he has a very short temper and doesn't have a lot of patience for people, this paired with his anti-socialness does NOT make him the most pleasant person to be around on a surface level fdghdf

ok shutting up for now but if you have any ideas for plots please do not hold back, may is very dependent on them for connections !!

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

Rambling about how much the Succession series finale fucked me up.

Kendall realizing that the people who once supported him (Rava, Jess, and his kids) truly are gone, except his one true friend whom has already admitted that he can't trust him and that he'll "follow the money" told me how this whole shown will end early on. He got all of the weapons he needed for battle, just to stab himself in the foot.

Ep 9 he said he hoped part of his father was in him.

He got his wish.

He tried to get a vote of no confidence against his father in 1x06, yet it backfired, and it made sense why it did due to how poorly he handled it.

The finale was no different.

He also resembles Logan in the worst way by resorting to physically abusing Roman in private and public, and how he intimidated him during the voting. Now both of his siblings rightfully separated themselves from him.

Shiv's arc is the most tragic to me due to the fact that in S1 she wanted nothing to do with Waystar and worked with Gil against Logan, just to be ridiculed by him and called a coward for not competing.

In S2, Gil drops her and then she moves back into her father's "good" graces and fights to be CEO.

Logan promised that it's her, yet still sidelined her at any opportunity to the point where she embarrassed herself in front of the Pierce family.

It's funny how so many lines that I originally saw as petty insults like "Kendall is screwy, Shiv's not as smart as she thinks she is, Roman you're a moron" were accurate descriptions of the characters. Shiv swore she thought she would overturn her father, the man who runs a conservative media conglomerate, would appoint her as the CEO, as if these old ass yt men would take her seriously under any circumstances. She even had an odd dynamic with her own husband where she was the one with affairs and threw him under the bus at any time it was possible for her to.

In the end, she ended up exactly where she didn't want to be, the same position as her mother, a woman stuck in a hapless marriage with a child and a man whom she has a fraught relationship with. She had so much ambition, just for it to backfire horribly.

"A fucking waste of time" as Peter said.

To be fair, they did nothing but argue in front of them, cut family dinner short, or eat his prized cheese, so I get the annoyance. But you were part of why they are at odds against each other.

So boo hoo.

If any of the sibling resemble each other than being blood related, it's Shiv and Kendall. Both of them wanted to be the CEO of Waystar for their own personal reasons.

Kendall's reasons were very specific.

As he said, he was promised the role since he was seven years old. It's obvious that idea has followed him for years and years till he became an adult, like we all do, and it became bigger. It's how the show is started. He's ALWAYS wanted to succeed his own father.

He fought so hard to succeed his father since the first season and never stopped, he did have some pause during S3, but in that finale after confessing to his crime to Shiv and Roman and them comforting him In a way that hasn't been seen in the series almost ever was a huge change to their relationship as a whole, to see him lie about him speaking his truth just because he was scared that they'd rightfully use that information against him was hard to watch.

All of that fighting to overturn Logan, he became him in the process, using his intimidation against Roman to make him make a decision. I wouldn't be shocked if Shiv noticed that and decided to vote against Ken.

Speaking of Romulus, he's ironically the one sibling that escaped the waystar circle, but he was more kicked out of it.

After Gerri being the only person on his side, then dropping him after he impulsively fired her and had the nerve to act as of he didn't, after Mencken the neo nazi saw how he acted at the funeral (as a person who lost a loved one) and dropped him like a bad habit, and he burned bridges with Mattson, it's clear to say he doesn't have anyone else on his side.

He's not like Shiv or Kendall where they have intentions to be CEO, are the opposite sides of one coin, and the obvious fact that he ultimately doesn't care about almost anything.

He got out of the loop more than Kendall or Shiv did and yet he's still lonely, or at least that's what I interpret from that smile to a frown in his last scene.

After dealing with the physical harm from the protests, he ran back to his mother. (and let's be real, he's Caroline's favorite child). Shiv and Kendall would fight over who would be CEO, but he never cared that much.

For Roman to be the sibling that escapes Waystar, I truly didn't see that coming, but should have. Why would he subject himself to that kind of torture after he endured it for his entire childhood?

And this is the Roy sibling that I find the most annoying, but I will admit, he was fully aware of the bullshit his family was on 24/7.

So his ending makes sense, he smirks, but then frowns about the people waystar, employed or not, whom had his back and he screwed up the relationship with, but that whole place felt like a cage to him, so what loss is there anyways?

Connor, Connor, Connor. The eldest son, ready for what a long distance relationship with his own newlywed wife. He and Shiv and a similarity to their father when it comes to romantic relationships. His father dies and he gets married, Shiv suggests an open marriage to Tom on their wedding night. BANG!

Logan was with Sue-Ann when he was married to Caroline and with Kerry when he was married to Marcia. Oh how history repeats itself. Connor is the eldest son and only escapes half of the abuse just because he's the most neglected.

Connor and Roman have a similarity due to how uninterested they are in the battle to be the next CEO, Roman saw it as a cage and Connor saw it as a competition to see who could be loved by their broken father. (which at this point he knew was pointless)

It's sad to see Connor and Willa soon to be separated because, Out of all four siblings, Connor has Willa, one can say he bought a person, but she has had many opportunities to leave, but still stayed and had his best interest in mind, even reminding him to stay true to his original ambition. Can anyone else related to him say that?

Personally, I don't think so.

This finale felt right in the most tragic way for me because, the series had shown so many signs of how it would all end from S1-3

Kendall losing the vote of no confidence, Shiv being shanked by Tom, Roman losing his personal support, Connor being outcasted, etc.

Tom has been aware of how Shiv treated him for a while, there was no way he wouldn't get his lick back in the end, especially knowing the environment he's in. Yes as effeminate as he can be, he'll use what he can to get what he wants, just like the Roys do.

He used Greg as his own Shiv stand-in because he knew he couldn't overstep his boundaries with her while Logan was alive, when he died he did feel so much empathy for not only Shiv, but her brothers as well because he is still human and finding out your parent died in an airplane bathroom and you have a few seconds to say goodbye is a lot for a person.

Nonetheless, Tom and everyone persisted in their pursuit for power, meanwhile Connor took ownership of his father's residence, because I'm sure Marcia would love to let go of a home she shared with an unfaithful husband.

With the eldest son's rules of claiming what they want in a full mansion and then being pulled together by the old footage of their father, it's easy to still think they'll have some solidarity even after anointing Kendall as the best choice..

Choosing items with a simple sticker was a warning. Tom choosing Greg as his second is a win, but a loss. Mattson can just easily choose another U.S. CEO if he feels lole getting rid of Tom, but he is the current decision.

Tom 'the people pleaser' Wambsgans being CEO is a shock, but not as much as a shock for me as opposed to most of which saw this finale.

Logan called out his own children, them playing toy soldiers, being unserious people, and full-fledged morons.

He was unfortunately correct.

For Kendall to try so hard to be Logan 2.0, to the point where he lied to them, where Shiv said she can't stomach him, where he resorted to ignoring Connor and barely taking Ewan seriously when he was one of the only ones being honest with them,

Connor inheriting the delusion that Logan had with how he honestly believed his life will go on to be, Roman with his "I win" mentality his father has, or Kendall & Shiv having the cutthroat, "I'll demolish anyone who might oppose me" sense that their father had for years.

But the tragedy is that none of his children truly present that state of mind.

It's not surprise that the biggest people pleaser of all characters, Tom, would be the one to impress Mattson.

Tom has been a pick-me since episode one, but he showed how much he will and has worked in his own favor.

Greg was someone I thought would overthrow and fire Tom, but Tom being the one who was chosen as CEO feels so unexpected, but appropriate. He managed to reverse the dynamic of his relationship with Shiv, but maintain it with Greg, even though both relationships involve emotional manipulation, they still come back to each other, unfortunately.

Shiv and Tom have said some truly horrific things toward each other for a married couple under a few months and yet they never left each other officially, Greg has tried to throw Tom under the bus as well since he is a blood relative meanwhile Tom projected his own personal issues with Shiv onto her own cousin, whom she stole $20 from, and yet, Tom refuses to leave Greg alone.

Tom now being able to control Greg & overpower Shiv at this moment is shocking, yet hauntingly expected.

It haunts me how when shiv and Roman chose Kendall as the leader, they just casually mocked his way of speaking, when in reality, he used the same disturbing methods as their deceased father, Tom still having Gerri, but especially having Greg's back in the end. Shiv noticed how her brother was turning into Logan and his much her own husband outsmarted her in the end, Roman just ordered the same drink Gerri did just to feel some sort of accomplishment, and Kendall came to the conclusion that no one else was completely in his corner.

Shiv as CEO was never gonna happen, Roman was too silly to take seriously,  Roman had a whole speech prepared for his father's funeral and couldn't deliver it, Kendall spoke his and now in retrospect, it feels more like wishful thinking, Connor never got to say his own eulogy, and Shiv delivered one that was poignant, yet still unchanging to the environment around her.

Anyone who tells me or might tell me this series finale made no sense should keep it to themselves, because the writing was on the wall.

[lucky-pool-pond]

My dear Brainrot and Roman Empire: 

Almost finished playing BG3 and absolutely loved it despite all bugs, problems and mistakes. But one thought keep troubling me after revealing past of the Emperor and how touching his relationship seems to be with Ansur.

Guys, I'm serious, I need AMV, because these two being lovers or just written in stars legendary bromance, they have major vibe Arcade and Saturno. Honestly, they have too little time on screen, but it felt, all those pears were just perfect. 

There is so little content in this fandom for me personally on  many things, like Raphael and Tav as worthy combatants and all tension between them (I just can’t help myself), the story between Hope and Raphael, all his sayings about Tav in diaries, Haarlep being most iconic all the time (I need him and Raphael doing that barbie prison posing, because despite being smart he prefers being the best bimbo in the world and material girl, I can’t help but just adore him), sweet sweet Withers (my baby, my baby, you're my baby, say it to me), him, who, with his little riddles and simple phrases, just hanging around kept my/Tav's faith and sanity in check, because when you watch almost everything Laezel believed in turn against her, Gale being forced to kill herself by his ex-lover/his goddess, Shadowheart stuck between Shar's foggy future and Selunite's past, Arabella's parenrs, Astarion with all his baggage, Will with Mizora and his father, Karlach with a sick heart, so you come to him broken and still find some kind of stability and desire to keep going, thinking you're still doing right - well, doing everything that Scratch could not say, but always wanted - Stoney and Boney being my most healthy comfies (If I ever enter into a relationship, then let it be like this).

I almost cried at Jaheira story with her husband(I have utmost respect to him), Minsc and Astarion bro duo - is my favorite, despite i always enjoyed sarcastic banter between Astarion, Gale, Shadowheart and sometimes Lae'zel, then Jaheira and Minthara came - that moment I needed to stop all quests lines and just listen to them talking, then came Minsc and Boo and I fall, recruiting Minsc was one ofthe best decision in the whole game, and so on.

In the camp in the third act, I caught myself thinking that, I don’t have to glue them together, they can now stick together and communicate without me. I just look at them and my eyes rejoice, my dear babies, my big broken family, I will do everything to make you happy, safe and sound (also had a bug that the whole camp was hanging around with me, so this ralks in-between often made my day a day). I'm one step away from actually starting to make content, because AAAAAA what are you doing to me?

But Ansur and the Emperor became my roman Empire. I don’t care about the nature of their relationship, because whatever they are for each other, their devotion, their common  past and non-romantic intimacy, understanding and knowledge of certain traits, it’s as if they have their own language.  

Ansur’s despair, although he was there almost until the very end - I’m just AAA, oh glass, my favorite tasty glass. I can’t even imagine how hard it was for both of them not only to meet in person, but also the absurdity of finally seeing the corpse of their dear comrade. And although only one of them is technically undead, both are essentially looking at the corpse of their former friendship.

I can’t even express in words how much I feel about this. And it seems to me personally that for some reason Ansur knows that Tav and their group of adventurers will be able to overcome what Ansur could not prevent a long time ago, which is why he fights so hard. I just can’t bear this resentment, this bitterness, this story with all the little pieces that were shown to us.  Someone do it, please

[t4t-apexeclipse]

You

i wrote this in a heavily dissociated state (that im in once again). it’s a bit of a personal piece that i struggled to edit. i hope y’all like it

Summary: Janus is dissociating, and Logan wants to help

Characters: Janus, Logan, Roman (mentioned)

Pairing(s): loceit

Warnings: written experience of a dissociative episode, the feeling of giving up, idk what else

Word count: 933

~

Janus couldn't read the words on the page. He was too far gone.

He vaguely noticed Logan walk into the room. He probably said something, but Janus couldn't hear over the sound of the white noise in his head.

He came back to his body when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at Logan. "Hello, darling." He took in Logan's expression, furrowed brows and slight frown, and became concerned. "You seem troubled, Logan, is everything alright?"

"I'm fine," Logan assured. "Are you?"

Janus may have been dissociated, but he wasn't stupid. He knew what Logan was getting at and decided to deflect.

He placed a hand on Logan's, which was still on his shoulder. "Better now that you're here."

"Flattery will not deter me. Are you dissociating again?"

Janus looked in a random direction to avoid eye contact. "No."

"For the embodiment of deception, your lying skills could use some work."

Janus sighed. "It's fine, love."

"It is not. Would you like to do a grounding exercise?"

"I'm so sick of the grounding exercises."

"It's certainly better than the alternative."

"Is it?"

Janus closed his eyes and wished he hadn't said that.

"Is doing a grounding exercise better than dissociating? I'm inclined to say yes."

Janus sighed. "It just feels so... pointless. We chase it away and it keeps coming back. It's exhausting. After a while you just... wanna give up."

Logan knelt down to meet Janus at eye level. "Do you not feel better once the dissociation has passed? Is that not worth fighting for?"

Janus didn't have any arguments left in him.

"Why don't you get a shower?" Logan suggested.

Janus smirked. "Why? Do I smell that bad?"

A hint of a smile appeared on Logan's face. "No, it might help with the dissociation."

Janus sighed. "It's so much effort taking a shower. I have to get up, get clothes and a towel, go into the bathroom, turn on the water and adjust the settings, get in the shower- you see what I'm getting at here?"

"You're breaking it down too much. It might help if you view it in three steps; prepare for your shower, get in the shower, and get dried and dressed."

Janus saw no reason to argue with him. "Alright, I suppose. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make everything so difficult."

"You're not making anything difficult. It's just that certain things happen to be difficult at the moment. And that's perfectly alright."

Janus felt a sudden swirl of emotion in his chest. He finally looked at Logan. "You'll be here, right? When I get out of the shower?"

Logan held his hands. "Always."

Janus wanted to smile, and tried, but there was no telling how it actually looked. Hopefully Logan knew how much Janus loved him.

Step one: prepare for the shower.

Janus managed to climb out of bed, going to his dresser and getting some clothing. He had towels in his bathroom, so that was taken care of. It seemed that step one was already done.

Step two: get in the shower.

Janus turned on the water, piping hot. He stepped in and let the water flow over him. All he could do was stand in place for a moment. The water felt especially nice on his scales. After a moment, he finally began washing his hair and body, and it was as though he was washing his dissociation away.

Step three: get dried and dressed.

Janus was actually rather reluctant to step out of the shower. He managed, drying himself off with a towel and putting on the clothes he picked out.

Except the shirt he picked clung to his skin in the worst possible way and he couldn't stand it another moment.

Taking off his shirt, he put his dirty clothes in the hamper and stepped out of his bathroom. He put the shirt back in the dresser and turned towards his bed.

He smirked at the way he caught Logan staring.

"I traded dissociation for mild sensory overload, so... no shirt."

"Ah, I understand. Does that mean the shower helped?"

Janus walked over and laid down on his side of the bed. "I'm still a little fuzzy around the edges, but... it did. Thank you."

"Of course, dear. Is there anything you need?"

Janus gave him a sheepish look. "I... I-I'll do a... grounding exercise."

Logan smiled briefly. "Alright. Five things you can see?"

Janus looked around. "Bookshelf... painting... TV, dresser, and... you." He smiled over at Logan.

Logan grinned. "Very good. Four things you can touch?"

"Blanket... pants... um...." He reached over to his nightstand and picked up an abandoned mug. "This mug. And...." He held Logan's hand. "You."

Logan's cheeks turned pink. "Excellent. Three things you can hear?"

Janus listened closely to his surroundings, chuckling slightly. "Uh, Roman singing musical numbers next door... um, the ceiling fan... and...." Janus leaned over and rested his head against Logan's chest, listening to the gentle thump of his heartbeat. "You."

"Good job. Two things you can smell?"

Janus inhaled deeply. "Me and you."

"And one thing you can taste."

Janus leaned back to look into Logan's amber eyes. He pressed his lips against Logan's, smiling softly as they kissed. He pulled away after a moment.

"You."

Logan's cheeks were fiery red now, his eyes filled with stars. "Only you could turn a grounding exercise into an opportunity to flirt."

Janus grinned. "I'm a hopeless romantic, what can I say?"

"Hopeless sounds right," Logan teased.

Janus chuckled. "God, I love you."

Logan pecked his lips. "I love you, too."

[mermaidsirennikita]

How are you liking this season of succession so far? Any predictions on shiv’s pregnancy?

I'm loving it; it had some of the strongest episodes I've seen on the show. I have some thoughts about what it *could* mean re: Jesse Armstrong choosing to end the show after filming the season. On the one hand, I imagine he probably largely had an "epilogue" in mind with s5--which means it would have been a potentially interesting addition, but not necessary. On the other, I feel like it's possible that the looming writer's strike + the shitshow at the fuck factory that is HBO leadership could've factored in. That certainly doesn't mean the season will end up being bad or end badly. Like I said, I'm loving it. But it's just something I wonder about. Is this his ideal ending? It can be superb and not what he would've done if other factors hadn't been present.

The episode where Logan died was deeply moving in a way I can't fully describe. They're teeing Sarah Snook to win the Emmy she's deserve for quite a fucking while now. I find Tom's progression and swinging between pathetic and effective so compelling, and always have. I truly think it's possible that Tom could take it all (assuming we know who takes it all in the end) but it's early yet. Kendall is hitting the beats we've been waiting for... for years.

I went into this season feeling it was fairly likely that Shiv would be pregnant; not so much because of Sarah's pregnancy, but because of the heavy suggestions last season. Imo, for a show about succession... this was also a given. As dark--and invalid--as this is, I don't know that Logan saw Kendall's children as his legacy. Sophie is adopted, and Iverson is neurodivergent in some way (I don't know if he's meant to be interpreted as adopted as well). Logan being the horrible person he is, imo this would declassify both of them as his potential next gen. He would've seen Shiv's child as the true sort of... promise of that future. And he's dead. Lmao.

I don't fully understand the accusations that Armstrong is writing misogynistically when he has Shiv get pregnant; and when he has Shiv get pregnant as she's being passed over in favor of her brothers; and when her pregnancy is this implied thing that further underscores her vulnerability and why she'll never be on the throne. Like, yeah--that's the point. Shiv should be able to be pregnant and not have that affect her. Shiv should be a valid contender (and I have to say, for reasons beyond her gender, she is not; Shiv has not had the formal experience or training on paper that Kendall and Roman have, and that is very likely *because she is a woman*) but very basic things about her, things as basic as her becoming a mother as Kendall became a father, disqualify her in this setting. She's been set up to fail from the start.

Except tbh, failing is kind of winning because they're all vying for this toxic, poison apple of a throne that will give nobody happiness and divorce whoever gets it from their soul. You shouldn't feel like your favorite is winning if they get it. Like, I'm not saying I don't get rooting for your favorite to have moments. I loved Kendall's smug smile that didn't truly hit his eyes in the last episode. I also think he's ending this show physically or emotionally dead.

In terms of the baby, I think it's possible the show ends before she has the baby. I don't see her miscarrying. I don't see her aborting. I can see it ending on this level where she's gonna give birth and you're like "Jesus, that kid is DOOMED". I imagine it will be ambiguous. Shiv aborting is just... I don't really see how that serves the narrative, and I feel like the kind of twisted perspective Shiv has on motherhood--her mother being so emotionally abusive, and the Roy kids always wanting to prove they're better than their parents--means she'll have the kid to prove a point. It will be part of her twisted back and forth with Tom (I love their relationship; it's fascinating and I 100% refute the "Shiv and her horrid husband" narrative lmao, he's horrid but she straight up emotionally abused the man for three seasons, let's not play) and her attempt to validate herself. Sound familiar?

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

Merry Superstition Holiday

What do Hercules, King Arthur, Odin and Jesus have in common?

They are all Literary myths whom had religious cults built up around them after their theoretical deaths.

So how is it that Jesus became one of the most influential and intriguing figures in all of world history?

Because it seems with human beings the further from reality something is, the more unbelievable something is, the more we are inclined to believe it because of superstition, because we fear the unknown, so we just make shit up to compensate for our stupidity.

It's how we got every one of mankind's imanagery heroes, fear of the unknown through superstition.

Because the story of Jesus, ya see,.... is so far fetched from reality People are just attracted to its bizarreness fairy tale qualities about him.

I mean, the story goes something like this;

About 2000 years ago, a young married woman, still a virgin, was made pregnant by God, a fictitious character (an imaginary person), she gave birth to a baby in a barn, and three wise men found this baby by following a weird star in the heavens that guided them to him throughout the desert so they could worship him and give him gold and scented oils. That baby was named Jesus. Called the Son of God, the fictitious character and imaginary person.

Then jesus told people he was God and performed miracles like magically making fish and bread appear, turning water into wine, and raising people from the dead just to name a few.

So then jesus told his followers to eat some bread which was his flesh, and drink some wine, which was is blood.

Then the Jewish authorities were angry with Jesus for being a showboat and taking attention away from them, so they turned Jesus over to the Romans and convinced them to crucify him because of loss of followers,..... but a few days after Jesus died he came back to life again and told everyone that his whole plan from the start was to let them murder him, so his death could wipe out all sin of mankind so the world would have everlasting peace.

And we see how that worked out, it failed miserably, and people today are still as sinful, if not more, as they were during the time Jesus walked the earth in the fairy tale story.

So Jesus's followers wrote all this down in a book called the Bible, a new organized religion, and if you don't follow the Jesus religion he will come back to judge you.

Yeah, this guy that was murdered, then came back to life a few days later, then just vanished into thin air, and is now supposedly in a place called heaven no one can see until they die, where all good followers will go to that support the religion financially in this life so the the people that teach the bible don't have to work for a living in this life?

............... now I'm thinking of a Donald Trump Hoax that seems similar........Hmmmmmmmm.

Sooooooo,

You better watch out,

You better not cry,

You better not pout,

I'm telling you why,

Jesus Christ is coming back to town.

Ya see, He sees you when you're sleeping,

And he knows when you're awake,

He knows if you've been bad or good,

So be good for goodness sake.......

Ohhhhhhhhh,

You better watch out,

You better not sin,

You better not pout,

Gotta save your skin,

'Cause Jesus Christ is coming back to town.

These lyrics sound very familiar for some reason about another fictitious and imaginary character we just made up out of thin air, but people support this character out of greed, rather than love like we do Jesus.......

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[notmuchtoconceal]

Your answer to my last ask made me think. I've had a handful of my asks mistaken for This Guy Who You Once Knew, and a small number of his asks were mistaken for mine. And I've noticed that the moments when this most often happen are when Language Demon is relapsing or I'm in a more morally dubious state of mind. I, at least, make an effort to distinguish myself from Him but This Guy sometimes likes to use me as a cover for himself whenever he wants to ask you something that's meant to pry at your shared past.

I also think it's very telling that my evil side is surprisingly common. It's common enough to be nearly indistinguishable from Past Flame, which means it's boring and stupid. You're trying to get me to make this revelation. And the revelation is that when I obey you and play nice, and speak poetically I get rewarded with recognition as my true self. Ask Friend Crazy Guy, not Wisconsin Faggot From Your Past.

Shit. And I just asked this question about clones, which you somehow managed to spin back around on me by implying I'm nothing more than a clone of Past Flame.

God dammit. Fucking fucking fuck. I wasn't supposed to be the one who learned the lesson here! Oh my fucking god, bro. Stop being so much smarter than me. I can only get so erect. This is why I'm your lil bro, even when I try to fuck with you. Maybe you want me to be nice to my clone, maybe not. Personally, I want to lay his bloody carcass at your feet. If you like I can describe in grisly detail how I would dismember him. You're mine. And there can only be one. I know you love the attention. And you deserve it, too.

I'll obey you. For now.

Love you. Love your soul.

Man, I really do admire Charles Bukowski for his integrity.

I think people who find him repulsive are insecure lil bitches.

When you're talking to a fat, nasty sack of lard and spite and human bitterness who makes your eyes burn as though fart gasses erupting off spectacular moss-black Martian swamplands, it puts ya on edge.

Makes ya feel hard to be manipulated, other than all the ways you already manipulate yourself. What reflexive fear-signals you spout out.

In this sense, the Roman Bacchus is a far more honest and reliable depiction of Liber Pater than Greek Prettyboy Dionysos.

Ya talk to a nasty trollish fatass who's always pickin fights with ya -- the very image of a Socrates -- it puts ya in a different sorta philosophical mindset than an alluring naked half-young female muscle twunk who wants to read ya poetry to dismember your corpse and dance around.

'Tis true.

Perhaps we would all be far more inclined to live lives of sterling integrity were we all but lumpen and tendril-mosaic'd sea sponges endlessly spewing our seed into the polluted streams around us.

I mean, hey.

Donald Trump is the Archetype of the American Male.

Donald Trump is the Collective Worst Impulses of Every American Dad.

Donald Trump is the American Trauma Solidified into Muppet Form.

We've all known somebody exactly like Donald Trump before he became the mascot for the cartoon, and his intense mimetic appeal is precisely because he is archetypal of a sickness for which we have no name.

Joe Biden is identical to him in value and character.

Joe Biden lies just as much and is currently enabling a genocide.

Joe Biden lies by omission and sweet-talks ya, kids.

Daddy Trump's just as much of a fuckin liar, but at least ya fuckin know he's one. You can predict all his lies, and it's almost a relief when he fuckin does exactly what ya think he's gonna do! He's like a pet! It's great!

Biden, oh my God. Sure. I believe in Democracy.

Do you?

This is also the reason I've preferred Hemingway to Fitzgerald. He'll write a story about a dumb lil prick who needs to go big game hunting to feel like he's a big man, only to get shot by his own cunty vindictive jealous girlfriend who thought he was the biggest game all along!

Then you'll just sit there having no idea what the fuck it was about and continuing on with your life thinking men are shit cause when presented with earnest and inexplicable human emotion you refuse to think.

You know.

As opposed to a silver-tongued prettyboy like Fitzgerald who can open with daddy's stolid and freely-given wisdom about not judging people and seeing things from their circumstances, then not be able to figure out for two hundred pages why he's obsessed with the image of a big rich ostentatious simp ruining his life chasing an unavailable woman.

Holy fuck, do I love cute lil lying prettyboys who get drunk and ruin their lives writing glamorous poetry to hide the total lechery of values at the center of their being which they refuse to nourish with honest love!

Still, though. I like being pretty. You can't make me not pretty.

Beauty is a psychological need, for me and this beautiful soul I cherish.

That woman, bro. That woman.

She ain't no Martha Gellhorn, but she's somethin!

[risingsidesakira]

Greetings wonderful Citizens, and you nerds!

My name is Rose, mainly they/them pronouns but I enjoy the occasional 'he' figuratively thrown in there as well :P I've been following Sanders Sides for ~5 years at the time of writing this (that's my best estimate at least) and it's meant a lot to me, but beyond a couple of reblogs on my main here and there and comments under AO3 fics, I've never really participated in the fandom much and don't really know anyone who's actively into the series. I'm hoping to remedy all of that with this little side blog!

Now, a couple Side-related things about me...

Current Favorite Side?

Logan for sure- Though, Roman might have recently become an additional favorite as well. Those two have SO many issues I love them so much...

and if you're wondering if that "them" right here refers to the Sides or their Issues™, you'll find that the answer is simply "yes" :P

Initial favorite side?

Early on it was Virgil, I believe! Followed by the microsoft nerd in second place, then on equal footing. I don't actually remember at what point that stuff changed and Logan became my fave🤔

What about the other sides?

Well, first of all how I feel about Janus changes every other day, lol.

Patton has been getting a lot more interesting! I used to not be a big fan because I'm not really one for the extremely bubbly characters - much like I used to not like Roman as much as the others, actually. But nowadays Patton himself is having some Issues™ and that is something I very much enjoy hehe

Virge used to be my favorite, but for some reason my brain doesn't latch onto him as much as it used to. Still love him! But, he's a bit more in the background when I think about the Sides nowadays.

Remus is a trash goblin. He can be really funny sometimes and I love some of his mannerisms, but alas I'm not the biggest fan beyond that- Well, not the biggest fan of him, but I'm still very glad that he's a part of the series. DWIT and WTIT are two of my favorite episodes, actually.

And as for the orange side... at the time of writing this, we don't know anything about orange other than his appearance in WTIT and a couple of theories. Personally, I really really want Logan himself to be orange. I think that would lead to a lot of interesting growth for him as a character and would really shake up the entire cast - along with bringing some more context to his general tendency towards being a little hot-headed on occasion.

Favorite ship?

I don't really do a lot of shipping. If I had to choose one it would be Logince - Logan and Roman both have SO MANY ISSUES that they're just burying or hiding and they just. They fit so well together, whether platonically or otherwise.

Any AUs?

As of writing this, I've not really delved much into the realm of AUs. At least not ones that aren't canon-adjacent.

But I am working on one within my brain-cage! It's likely gonna stay there, beyond some art if I feel like it, unless someone ends up messaging me about it. It also doesn't really have a name set in stone just yet, so as of right now I just refer to it as the Lost Sides AU. It moves the timeline around a bit, particularly on how early Creativity split, considers the sides to maybe be not entirely imaginary (magic stuff. still trying to work that part out properly), and gives Logan a hell of a lot more trauma, haha. I'm working on spotify playlists for the guys from this AU right now, too :V

Favourite types of fics to read?

ideally? hurt/comfort, platonic logince-centric, somewhat canon-adjacent universe, no nsfw, if orange is in it he's not a separate side but rather just another part of Logan

But I also just generally tend to enjoy Logan and/or Roman-centric canon-adjacent sfw hurt/comfort stuff. I'm a sucker for angst but prefer when it has a good ending eventually :v

Okay, that's all i can think of right now! Welcome to my blog lol

[kitkatopinions]

The world they landed in 'the Ever After' is something they recognized from a fairy tale, including some of the things that happened to them happening to the protagonist of the book and meeting characters they'd met in the book, but they soon got 'off book' so to speak. Later they discovered that the Ever After is actually the birthplace of the Brother gods, who were given a passageway to Remnant to create worlds of their own. The fairy tale based on the Ever After is apparently everyone's favorite book in Remnant.

Weiss felt bad about losing Atlas and not doing the best job during the Fall of Atlas, but then got over it in a snap.

Blake and Yang were forced to confess their feelings for each other and kissed.

Jaune lived in the Ever After for around twenty years or so (long enough to be going gray,) because he plucked a time fruit from a time tree that sent him back in time in the Ever After. He became the fictional character 'the Rusted Knight' that existed in the book, guiding the protagonist Alyx and her brother Lewis (who wasn't included in the OG book) through the Ever After. Jaune thought that Lewis had been murdered while Alyx had gone back to Remnant, but then found out that Lewis had gone back to Remnant while Alyx had been murdered. Jaune also was acting as 'the hero' and protector to a village of Ever After people called the Paper Pleasers that he was kind of treating like servants while he tried to keep them safe from harm, and they all 'died' but came back to life just with no memories, as the 'Genial Gems.' Jaune learned to accept that people just die sometimes or something, and then was turned back into a nineteen year old while keeping all of his forty year old memories. It was never revealed that he's the one that killed Penny.

Ruby was grieving Penny during the volume and spiraling and getting very little help from her team (though Weiss at least tried a bit,) and also experienced some pretty bad trauma that made her adverse to handling her weapon and even led to her seeing hallucinations. Ruby then yelled at her team and Jaune, basically saying that she didn't feel cared for, was under way too much pressure to be perfect, and no longer wanted to be the leader before taking jabs at Weiss for pushing her too hard in an effort to get home and at Blake and Yang for being more concerned with their relationship than anything else, and then ran away. She then went to Neo (for some reason) who was still trying to kill her and tortured her with clones she made look like dead people/ruby's friends, and tried to convince Ruby to drink tea that was poisoned with something that would 'unmake' Ruby - they call it 'Ascension' and the only example we had of ascension was the person becoming a completely different person with no real memories of who they had been. Ruby drank the tea, but when she 'ascended,' she had the choice to come back as herself and decided to do that, somehow being the only person to ascend without losing any memories or changing her appearance at all and suddenly no longer having the aversion to handling her weapon or seeing hallucinations. Her team then insisted that Ruby hasn't ever been weak or confused and that's why they follow her.

Neo seemed to accept that Roman was gone and decided to 'Ascend' herself, with RWBYJ leaving her behind with the vague idea that Neo will choose who to be now, leaving the potential possibility that she'll be back (or that Roman will be with how they frame ascension for Ruby as if she could've chosen to just return as someone who was already dead like Summer) but pretty much closing out her story.

RWBYJ went to Vacuo in the end with the vague line that they were going 'not where but when you're needed the most,' which to me indicates a possible time skip.

Oh, and Ruby also saw a memory of her mother lying to Tai that she was going on an Ozpin mission before leaving secretly with Raven to do something else, which was the last time anyone ever saw her.

So, new volume is over? Can someone summerize the important parts to see if it's worth watching it myself?

Sorry if that sounds unnecessaryly mean, but now I have school and work, can't use my precious time off too freely 😅

[thatgeekyemo]

Road To Redemption

peter parker x reader ∣ 4.1k

summery: You had been given a mission. One you'd found a reason to rather die than follow through.

warning: [Potential Trigger Warning] light language, violence, thoughts of self-harm

Even with the blindfold, you knew exactly where you were.

The cool metal of the chair you were sitting in sent a shiver down your spine and a grimace contorted on your features the more you became conscious, the more you became aware of the dull throbbing in your head from where they hit you. You flexed your fingers, the only thing you could do because your wrists were bound with rope. As well as your legs.

"Hellooo?" You sang out, hearing your voice reverberate against the walls in a slight echo. Sighing, you blinked behind the fabric that was keeping you in the dark before deciding to keep your eyes shut. You couldn't hear anything yet, but you knew once they  looked at the cameras and saw you were awake, the footsteps would come immediately.

You laid your head back, the metal cold against your neck and making goosebumps appear on your skin. You gulped, the sound loud in your ears in the silence. You figured since the chair you were in wasn't too warm, you hadn't been there long. You must've woke up before they thought you would.

You bit your tongue as you thought. There really wasn't anyone to say goodbye too, because you knew the odds were against you; you knew weren't leaving this room alive. The only person you would've bothered to talk to one last time was—

You stopped your thoughts when you heard the door open, bringing light so bright with it, it was almost blinding even with the blindfold before footsteps entered the room and the door closed again. You quickly erased your face of any emotion. It wasn't hard, you were conditioned to do so your entire life.

"You know Y/N," you bit back a scowl. You would recognize that slimy voice anywhere. "When I heard there was a rat in the business, I never would've thought it would've been you."

"Rat? Please," you scoffed, ignoring the pain in your head and ringing in your ears that only worsened when you spoke. "I'm more of a snake. Fox, even—" you jumped as a sharp stinging sensation spread through your cheek, holding in any noises that would give away you felt any pain. "Child abuse? I think that's a new low. Even lower than making a kid commit murder, I mean, yeesh," You felt two fingers tightly grab either sides of your jaw, squeezing, and you felt his hot breath fan across your face before he spoke.

"I've dealt with your mouth for too long. I would've cut out that tongue of yours if Boss wouldn't have had my head. But now that you're a traitor to us all, I can do whatever I want to you." He ripped off your blindfold, a few strands of your hair with it. You forced yourself to open your eyes despite not getting used to the light in the room and stare into his.

Nothing about Roman had changed. He was still a pale man with greasy blonde hair, yellow teeth, and still looked like a ferret more and more each day. He was still cruel and abusive. Unforgiving. That's why he was Boss' second in command.

"You've failed your mission Y/N. You let us all down. We all had such high hopes for you, as insufferable as you are, you could've gone places, maybe even have my job one day."

"Your job is boring," you raised your eyebrows, challengingly staring into his eyes, and maybe not feeling as intimidated as you should've been even though you were tied down with no space to even move your limbs. "You're basically a glorified lapdog, you even go out on coffee runs. I get the fun stuff, when's the last time you've blackmailed a senator into passing a law by threatening to show her husband photos of her cheating and got away with it? I honestly don't even think I was born yet."

This time, you saw the blow coming. The other side of your face this time. You closed your eyes on the impact, your face no doubt as red hot as the burning felt. But you just rolled your neck, licked the inside of your cheek, and opened your eyes again to try and alleviate the pain. This time, you knew the joking had to stop. They wanted information, and you knew of the ways they usually got it.

"What's the real reason why you haven't killed Peter Parker?" Roman growled, a hand shooting out to grip the back of the chair and push you back so that your weight was only supported by the two back legs, the man leaning over you intimidatingly, his lips turned down in a scowl. "We sent you to get rid of Spider-Man. Because that's your job. You've been protecting him. Why?"

"Have you ever thought about maybe he doesn't deserve to die?" You asked hypothetically. "If you want to make the deal so bad, go somewhere that's not New York, so Spider-Man won't crash your little party."

"There's so much you don't know kid, Spider-Man isn't just someone we wanted out of the way so he wouldn't cause trouble. A little while back, he interrupted a weapons trade, threw some of our best guys in jail. One of them being Boss' daughter. Boss personally wants him dead." He dropped the chair back down, slamming it harshly against the floor and you braced your neck so it wouldn't snap forward. You kept your eyes trained forward as Roman began to circle around you. "You've completed missions in less than two hours before. It's been more than a week, each day you come up with dumbass excuses. So tell me;" he stopped in front of you after he had come full circle, bending down to meet you face level. "Why isn't he six feet in the ground by now?

"Could it be you had the sudden epiphany that you would be able to run from us? Or," a cold smile appeared on his face as you continued to stare him down, your fists clenched tightly. "Does the cold-blooded mercenary have a crush, and you thought you could ride off into the sunset with your superhero boyfriend?"

You tried to contain the fire in your eyes, unknowing how successful you were exactly. "Right. Like I'm good enough for him. The Web-Head would be an idiot to fall for me." You lied through your teeth, the words coming out of your mouth as natural like silk from a spider. The words were partially true, Peter being the poor idiot who fell for the wrong girl.

"But he did, didn't he?" You didn't answer, instead clenching your jaw as Roman stood up. "Tell me where he is."

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" You growled. This was a complete lie. It was Tuesday, by now it had to be at least noon. He was most likely in school.

"Last chance Y/N, or I'm doing this my way."

"I don't know where he is." You stated firmly, your voice low and unnerving. This time you flinched as you saw the fist aimed for your face. You've taken worse hits than this, but when the hand connected with your jaw, making your head rattle and momentarily dull your senses, tasting the blood in your mouth, it made you question why you even let yourself be in this position in the first place. But you shook away the thought. If you were given the chance to redo your mission, you wouldn't change a decision you made.

"Fine." Roman pulled out a phone from his pocked and held it up for you to see. "I guess it's my way. I was hoping it would be, this is going to be way more fun." It took you a second to realize that he was holding up your phone, your vision still a little blurred from the punch.

You clenched your jaw to refrain from biting your tongue as you watched him bypass your password and go into your contacts. You wished there was a way you could get out of the ropes binding you in place, but it felt like they had searched you head to toe, confiscating all the weapons you usually kept on your body.

"Just sending a little message to Lover Boy, that's all," Roman said, glancing evilly in your direction when he noticed you staring him down like you had the power to burn holes into his skull. "Let's see how long it takes Spider-Man to show up and save you, hm?"

Your chest started to rise and fall with heavier breaths, both from anger and sadness. "He won't come." You spoke to Roman's back. He had started to leave the room.

"And what makes you so sure?"

"He doesn't care about me. He probably wants me dead as much as you do right now." The words were like a punch to the gut in their own, bitter in your mouth to admit that they were the truest words you've probably spoken in your entire life.

"Don't try lying to me now, girl, I have messages that say otherwise." He shook your phone in his hand as if to draw more attention to the electronic.

"I'm not lying." You called back. "If Spider-Man shows up, it won't be to save me. It'll be to take you down. Or he won't show up at all."

"It doesn't matter if that's the case, you've already unmasked him for us." He grinned, the expression cruel and mocking. "Either way, Peter Parker is going to be dead by the end of the week." And with that, Roman opened the door again, the blinding sunlight filling the room for a few moments before the door slammed shut, leaving you in nearly complete darkness.

A slew of curses ran through your brain. You wanted to yell, to scream. You knew you had to give them something so they didn't find you any more suspicious than you were starting to seem. It was the third day after you were assigned to kill Spider-Man. You figured that you would've taken them down from the inside by the end of the week, and that them knowing Peter's name wouldn't have been too much of a problem. But you got distracted, you let yourself get too caught up in his touch, stolen kisses... a whirlwind romance that shouldn't have been your story to live.

You lied to Peter. Manipulated him. He fell for deceit and lies that were intricately entwined with twisted truth. It all happened so fast, you never thought you could feel the way you did when you were with him. You still don't know what Spider-Man saw in you that made him trust you with his identity, but you wished you saw it in yourself.

You willed the tears not to come, instead focusing on the throbbing of your increasingly swelling lip. That's the source of the blood, at least, you thought as you felt it drip down your chin. You closed your eyes, and began to do something you hadn't ever thought you would do in your entire life. You began to pray.

Not to one God in particular, but to any entity that would spare any time to listen to you. You prayed that Spider-Man or the police picked up on the clues you left, that May and Ned wouldn't get hurt, that Peter's identity would stay safe, and with all the mental strength you had, you prayed that Spider-Man wouldn't show up. That Peter would be smart enough to stay out of danger, let you rot. You deserved it, after what you put him through, and you prayed he let his anger get the best of him, that he would ignore you. Because he was better off without you.

You could live a million lifetimes and never be good enough for Peter Parker.

You had no way of tracking the time, but you knew you must've been sitting there for hours. The light coming through the sliver under the door had died down, meaning the sun was setting. Your headache was dying down, but you were still in pain, your butt numb, your fingertips and toes starting to become cold from the tight ropes slowly cutting off your circulation.

You hadn't tried to move, hadn't tried to escape, instead you just sat there. Waiting.

Waiting for Roman to come back to through that door, hold a gun to your head, and pull the trigger.

You wondered if Peter ever saw the text. You hoped if he had, that he chose the right thing and decided not to show. And if he hadn't... you didn't want to think about that. But the longer you sat there, the longer you realized that this was Peter you were thinking about. The boy with the hero complex of ten men, and the guilt complex of twenty.

There was no way Peter would let you die, even if he hated you from the bottom of his heart, you knew he couldn't bear for a life to be lost because of him. That would eat him from the inside out, and he would find ways to blame himself even if it wasn't his fault, even if he was the victim the entire time.

You hated that this was all true. That you knew that in a matter of time, Spider-Man would come flipping into the base, taking out guy after guy, not even thinking about if it would be too much for him to handle, all for you. Just to make sure you were safe.

But what then? Surely he wouldn't forgive you. And if he did, you wouldn't let him. Because you didn't even think you could forgive yourself.

Now you started to count the hours. One. Three. Seven.

Your eyes were half lidded as the bright light started to fill the room again, a beacon of light in the darkness you were sitting in the entire night. Your throat was dry from your previous lack of self care, and your headache was back from your refusal to fall asleep. Some part of you wanted yourself to suffer for everything you did. Not just for Peter, but for the lives you took, the people you hurt without question or looking in to see if they deserved it. You were only a teenage girl now, but you were already a deadly being ever since Boss had found you in that bunker in Russia, a small child left to die, covered in the blood of the other children that were in there with you, crying in the corner over the horrific acts you had done.

Your entire life, you were only made to kill, and you didn't want to be only a weapon anymore. You knew there was no way to erase your past, and the easiest way for you to find peace was to erase your future.

You hung your head, the silence nearly deafening at this point, the sound of you breathing the only sound in the room.

Some part of you felt it was crazy to be smiling, but night had fell again. You thought maybe this was it, maybe everything was going to work out, that Peter had made a smart decision and not to act on impulse.

But you always did have the worst timing.

The smile immediately fell from your lips when sounds of gunshots pierced the air, hurting your head and making you flinch. Shouts and the footsteps of multiple people running followed soon after, and you knew exactly what had happened. The fight had just started.

A tear ran down your face. The first one to have been shed throughout the entire time you were in that room, over twenty-four hours. The damn boy couldn't resist, you knew Peter couldn't live with that on his conscience.

You wanted to wipe it away so bad, but you couldn't move. The fact that you had to remind yourself you were glued to one spot made another tear stream down your face. And another one came when you realized that Spider-Man was out there, fighting. Maybe not necessarily for you, but he was going to find you. Another one came. And another. And another, until silent tears were steadily running down your face, quiet sobs heaved in your chest, weak gasps escaping your mouth as you tried your hardest to stop.

The gunshots abruptly came to an end. So did the shouts and the footsteps.

Everything was silent. Too silent. Until there was a rattling at the doorknob in front of you. Your head jerked up, staring at the door with wide eyes, but you closed them and shrank into yourself when after another brief silence, there was loud bang as the door was forced —kicked— open.

Spider-Man was out of breath, his fists raised, prepared for another fight, but all he was met with was you and an empty room. Tension quickly filled the air, and he didn't become any less guarded as he cautiously stepped forward, saying nothing to break the silence. In fact, you were the one to do so, your voice coming out rough and broken.

"You should've left me to die."

He didn't say anything, stopping in front of you. You couldn't bring yourself to meet the white eyes of his mask, knowing he was staring right at your beaten face after he had crouched down. You didn't know if you had actually heard him letting out a breath of relief or if it was something your brain wanted to hear.

He moved his hands to the rope, finding the knot under your right wrist, but he hesitated as his fingers hovered above it.

"That wouldn't have made me any better than them." You had never heard Peter's voice so emotionless but somehow at the same time so bitter and full of animosity.

He then immediately got to work on the knot, it taking a couple of tries, but he loosened it enough for him to be able to pull the rope off. He then repeated the actions three more times, freeing your other hand and your legs. The relief of the constriction being gone also bringing a stinging sensation to your red and raw skin from where it had been cutting into your wrists and ankles the entire time.

Pain shot up your arms and legs as you tried to stretch, your wrists and fingers numb and your legs tingling. You could tell Peter wasn't sure what to do as he stood there in front of you, and you didn't blame him, but what you did know what that he wasn't going to leave until you did.

Seeing as you had no choice, you began to stand up. You didn't get far, however, your feet being asleep, and you nearly collapsed forward and would've hit the ground if Peter hadn't caught you.

"M'fine," you mumbled, grimacing through the pain and cringing at the lie as you pushed him off. You didn't deserve his help. You were a little unsteady on your feet, but you successfully were standing up.

"The police are going to be here any minute. So we need to go." He started back towards the door, but stopped when he noticed you weren't following him. "Come on—"

"You need to go." You told him, ignoring the way your voice cracked. "I'm just as much, if not more of a criminal than any of those guys out there. I shouldn't be let go, you shouldn't have come back for me."

"Y/N, you can't be serious." Peter's voice dropped, and when he saw just how serious you were, he let out a small huff of anger before grabbing your hand and forcing you to walk with him.

You stumbled the first few steps, walking through the doorway and onto the pier shrouded in darkness, the only light coming from the moon. You had to get used to using your legs after a day of not using them, but once you did, you started to try to pull your hand out of his, but Peter seemed to have no intention of letting you go.

"Dammit! Just save yourself!" You nearly screamed at him. "I'm not worth it!"

Peter let go, it surprising you equally as much as it didn't, and he turned to you faster than you could blink.

"Don't you dare say you aren't worth it." You had to take a step back from the intensity of his voice, your foot hitting a pistol that must've been stray from the battle that took place just minutes ago and pushing it out of the way some. "Because I just mentally fought with myself, and guess which side won? The side that wanted you. I just took on nearly forty guys who, for the most part, were all armed, blindly. No back-up. Do you wanna know why? For you! So we are leaving now, whether you like it or not. Before I lose you again."

His voice was now thick with emotion, wavering and breaking that last sentence. You felt your eyes welling up with tears again as you stared speechless at the costumed boy in front of you. Closing your eyes, you felt yourself nod your head as an okay. You didn't know if you could bear hurting him even more than you already had, and you didn't want to find out. But when you opened your eyes, just as Peter outstretched his hand again, you saw movement over his shoulder.

Without any second thought, you pushed Spider-Man away. Just as the bullet ripped through the nighttime air. You dived for the gun you remember bumping into, rolling and grabbing it, both hands wrapped around the handle. And before they could act, before Spider-Man could act, your sights had already found your target and you pulled the trigger. You hoped that it was loaded, at least one of your prayers coming true as the small flash of light and the air piercing sound appeared as the bullet left the barrel of the gun in your hands. The kickback was a little too much for your numb fingers, and you dropped the weapon, but it didn't matter. Because you had hit your intended target right where you wanted.

You shot to kill.

You only registered Roman's body as it crumbled to the ground, pistol of his own falling out of his hand. Slowly, shakily, you stood back up. The distant sounds of sirens had appeared, but you didn't hear them for long before you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, holding you tight, and then the force of you moving through the air was so loud against your ears you could hear anything but the howling winds.

You did it again, like the embedded instinct in your body had told you to do. But this time, instead of someone innocent, it was someone who deserved it. Because if after all he went through, after all you put him through, you weren't going to let Peter Parker die in front of you. Not after the lengths he had gone to to save you in the first place. As long as you were alive, Peter carried your life with him. And you would happily, without a doubt, die, protecting him.

Because that was the most you could do. The only way you could ever repay Peter, make up for what you've done, feel better about yourself, would be to do anything for him. To give up your life, for him.

And as you were swinging in the air, you wondered how long it would take Peter to forgive you, if he ever could. How long before he asks to start over. How long before you start a life knowing you'll never be good enough, never deserve the love of a boy as hurt and broken but strong and stubborn like him.

Maybe death was the easiest way to move on, but you also knew nothing worthwhile ever came easily. You had to accept that, because there was no way Peter would let you turn yourself in, let alone take your life. If you wanted to prove your worth, you needed to face what you had done. Maybe you could atone for everything you had done, and maybe it could be enough.

Things weren't going to get better with Peter for a while. A long while. But you knew that he was going to help you, make sure you got the help you needed. And if Peter thought that you were worth that, maybe, just maybe, you could believe it for him.