azaleassence

[azaleassence]

Party 4 u - III

part 1 <--> part 2

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: after your tragic birthday and the encounter with bucky on the rooftop, you decided you were done-- but bucky didn't want that-- he was determined to get back what he lost, even if it meant to beg and yearn for you

warnings: none

a/n: holy shit ya'll, i am so sorry it took me THIS long to update, i got the severe case of writer's block ever since i posted part 2 of thiz but don't worry, i have a lot of new works in my drafts !! reblogs and likes are mostly appreciated!

length: 3.4k

That night etched itself in your brain. For the following days after your birthday, you had gone into a deep hole where it seemed like everything was meaningless.

You barely left your room, engulfed in the darkness with the memories of that night repeating over and over and over again.

[I only threw this party for you]

The way he was late, the way he let you walk away, the way he didn't mutter at least one apology--you hated it.

It took everything in your body to pull itself out of bed and eat your meals, if it wasn't that, it was Natasha dragging you out of bed.

Today was one of the days where you felt bedridden. Natasha went on a mission yesterday and still hasn't come back so you had no one except yourself to get up and get food.

You debated on it for a while, ignoring how your stomach was rumbling for not intaking any food yesterday and today. With a sigh of defeat, you sat up on your bed, putting on your bunny slippers and grabbing the robe curled up on your nightstand.

[Only threw this party for you]

Leaving your room with one glance at the mirror, you knew you were a mess. The walk from your bedroom to your kitchen felt long and neverending as you passed by the lounge where most of the avengers were hanging in.

You heard them call for you but no response left your lips nor did you take your eyes off of the floor to look at them. Making your way into the kitchen, you finally raised your head up to walk to the refrigerator, only to be met by Bucky who was hunched over the island counter.

You abruptly stilled for a second, your eyes finding his as you diverted them elsewhere and walked to the fridge.

You felt his eyes follow your form, the air inside the kitchen thickening with tension and unsaid words. You grabbed a box of frozen pizza from the fridge's door, taking your time and ignoring his eyes burning a hole to your side.

Closing the door, you walked to the microwave and placed the box inside before pressing the buttons as the sound of the microwave filled the silence between you.

You didn't take your eyes off of the microwave, looking at it as if it was the most fascinating thing you have ever seen, but Bucky noticed.

[Yeah, if you saw my tears, would you touch me?]

He noticed how you ignored him, how your eyes diverted away when you walked inside the kitchen, how your hair looked messier than usual, how your bunny slippers were both on the wrong foot, and how your eyes were droopy and red like you had been crying.

Everything inside him screamed at him to say something, to apologize, and to explain himself, but after you left his message on read; he knew he wasn't welcome to say anything.

So he remained quiet, watching you with focused eyes as the microwave stopped, you then grabbed the pizza box out of it.

With that, you left the kitchen-- not sparing him another glance as the aroma of the pizza followed you out.

Two things were understandable at that moment-- one, he lost you, and two, he was determined to get you back.

[Kiss me on the mouth, say you love me?]

The following days were a blur for you. Whenever you left your room, you had Bucky waiting for you to go inside a room so he'd get the chance to talk to you.

You never let him. You see him walking inside the same room you're in? You leave. You notice him looking at you? You'd move until you were out of his field of view. Him joining a conversation you're in? You exit the conversation.

Bucky was chasing a ghost-- a ghost of you that tolerated and loved him before.

[Leave a message, tell me you're sorry?]

Every night were these messages, long ones and short ones, every one of them being filled with Bucky explaining himself and trying to tell you how sorry he was.

Your heart hurted and it pained even more when you saw how he begged in his texts. But you just weren't ready, you weren't ready to face him again.

You needed time and space, and Bucky understood that-- except the space part.

[Hit me right back, hit me right back]

Bucky had thought that he had broken through the first wall around your heart when he noticed how you took a second before looking away from him when he walked inside the lounge.

You didn't.

You instead grew more distant. He didn't catch you in the same room anymore trying to leave, you were quiet and not engaging in any conversations when the team was together, he didn't even see you walk around the hallways anymore trying to get from one place to another.

It was like you changed your entire routine just to not see him. And by entire routine, you mean the entire routine. Your Monday training with Natasha was moved to Wednesdays, where the training room was normally empty.

You ate dinner earlier or later than the team, you hung out in the rooftop pass 12 which was later than your original 10pm peace alone-- everything you did changed.

[Why you treating me like someone that you never loved?]

Your usual rants and talks with Natasha about Bucky were left unsaid. No words left your mouth that connected to him, you lived like he didn't exist.

It confused and worried Natasha because she saw how wasted and done you were, but being the good friend she was to you-- she didn't pry.

But it wasn't only Natasha who noticed how the air around you changed-- the rest of your team did. They asked Natasha about it only to get a blank answer.

Everyone was concerned, even Tony who normally just acknowledged you during missions and when you had something snarky to say to him, everyone wanted to know but they didn't get anything from the two of you.

[I only threw this party for you, only threw this party for you, for you, for you.]

Bucky wasn't making progress into getting back in your heart, you held protective walls that weren't going down without a fight, but he wasn't giving up either.

He started small, he stopped bombarding you with messages and trying to corner you in a room to explain-- if he wanted the time to talk to you, he needed to wait and gain it. So that's exactly what he did.

[I was hopin' you'd come through, I was hopin' you would come through, it's true, it's true.]

Then followed the random coffees on the island counter along with a post-it with your name written on it with a small star or a happy face (sometimes both).

Then the food inside the refrigerator, a bowl with spaghetti that Wanda cooked covered in cling wrap with another post-it with your name to avoid you not eating if ever the team finished the food before you got the chance to eat.

You didn't budge though, you kept your stance steady and your heart protected even if it warmed for a few milliseconds when you noticed these small gestures.

You noticed how after you changed the temperature inside the lounge once, it had stayed that way. You saw how Scott changed the temperature higher but whenever you find yourself inside the lounge, the temperature was just the right one for you.

Bucky took notes in everything that pissed you off, something he should've done a long time ago. He notes the way you leave the room when the team puts on a horror film. He sees the way you go inside the kitchen for a cup of tea only to find your mug in the sink used by someone else, you stomp away.

So he did everything perfectly just so your day could get better, while doing all of these in secret-- which he thought he was doing, you noticed.

[Only threw this party for you, i only threw this party for you, for you, for you.]

It wasn't long when the walls around your heart slowly cracked with seams that water could seep through.

For once, you joined the entire team for dinner, maybe sparing Bucky a glance or two when you notice how his eyes were at you-- he never stopped looking.

You slept better at night without staring at the ceiling, the humidifier Wanda lent you with the lavender scent helped you mostly.

You got back your spirit whenever training with Natasha, your usual snarky remarks for Tony surfaced, your age jokes for Steve saw the light, the way you spend your free time back in Bruce's lab to help-- you were slowly getting back on track.

You couldn't lie to yourself and ignore the way Bucky had helped you stand up after falling to your knees. Bucky tried to make amends for the faults he did and everyone noticed-- that's how they pieced together the puzzle pieces about the sudden air change.

They noticed how his eyes softened when looking at you, his usual resting angry face was nowhere to be seen when looking at you.

They notice how his voice unconsciously becomes quiet when someone mentions you.

The progress was slow but visible, Bucky was trying to win your heart again-- and as much as you tried to hate that idea, you can't lie that he's one step away from winning.

[I'm about to party on you]

Then came the night of the gala where you and the Avengers were invited as a token of the company's gratitude for helping them when needed.

You weren't keen on going, not when a part of you still looked like a mess, but with Natasha convincing you to go-- you just couldn't say no.

The dress you wore was floor-length, a dark shade of blue with matching black 3-inch heels and a black clutch. Your hair was in an up-do with a few strands falling in front of your face-- credits to Wanda who practically begged to do your hair.

You arrived 20 minutes late, spent those 20 minutes inside the taxi you hailed mentally preparing yourself after not socializing for quite a long time.

The huge doors were opened by the two security guards, welcoming you in the loud, elegant, and expensive gala. You were determined to grab a drink in now before socializing to at least give you an ounce of confidence.

Making your way through the loud crowd, the soft playing of Jazz Suite No.2: VI. Waltz 2 played by the orchestra on stage at the north of the ballroom.

As you walked through the crowd, a pair of cerulean eyes had never left your figure ever since you walked inside. Walking through the room as if you owned it, walking with composed steps-- looking at you as if he worshipped the floor you walked on.

[I'm about to party on you]

Not even a second passed since you reached the bar, someone had already approached you.

"Hey, I'm Dmitri, Ceo of Klear." He held his hand out, a small smile on his face.

Klear, the company that held this event-- the company that almost blew up the entire city because of smuggling hidden firearms in their products but due to press and the hidden strings they pulled-- it was ruled out as an accident.

It was your team that had to swoop in and save everyone along the perimeter.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Dmitri. I'm--" You shook his hand.

"I already know who you are, sweetheart, made quite an impression at the mission." He held your hand up to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss on the back of your palm.

You pulled your hand away from him, letting out an awkward chuckle. "I actually wasn't there, I was dealing with problems at the tower."

He laughed, taking it as a joke and claiming that he saw you at the scene. The conversation was filled with nothing but confusion and awkwardness, you need an out.

You scanned the room, looking for Natasha or Wanda, or literally anyone to pull you out of this embarrassment-filled conversation. Instead, your eyes landed on the same cerulean eyes that you once called comfort.

[Watch me, watch me party on you, yeah]

At the opposite end of the wall where the bar was located– was Bucky, leaning on one of the tables attached to a pillar, holding a crystal-cut glass with whiskey, taking a drink from it as he stared back at you.

You blinked once then twice, taking your eyes off of Bucky and turning back to Dmitri, nodding mindlessly at something he's saying about stocks and business despite your ear muting his voice out.

"Hey, cupcake." Natasha's smooth voice appeared from the side as you turned to her, an inaudible sigh of relief eliciting from your mouth. "Steve wants to see you out on the balcony."

"Okay." You put down your half-finished drink on the counter. "Please excuse me." You walked to Natasha, walking away from the bar beside her.

"Looked like you were on the brink of sleeping there." Natasha joked as you let out a soft chuckle, as you're walking away from the bar, your eyes subconsciously diverted for a second at the same pillar you saw Bucky leaning on only to find it empty.

"Y-yeah, stocks are not my cup of tea." You stuttered over your words as you looked back over at Natasha. The two of you walked to the opposite side of the bar, away from your place with Dmitri but before you could make it back to the bar, Natasha stopped you.

"Steve is actually asking to see you, cupcake."

"Oh shit, really? I thought it was just an excuse you made up to pull me away from Dmitri."

"No, it wasn't." Natasha nodded her head in the direction of the balcony. You walked away from her, walking to the balcony by the east side of the place.

[Party on you, party on you]

You made your way to the balcony, fixing your dress as it scrunched up from walking. As you neared the door to the balcony, your eyes landed on a single figure right outside, leaning on the ornate fences.

A single figure that definitely wasn't Steve.

As you push the glass doors open enough to slip through, the doors closing behind you as you let go of the handles.

His name was stuck in your throat as he turned around to face you, those eyes piercing right through yours as his hands slipped into the pocket of his trousers.

"Bucky." You manage to finally murmur out as you stopped, just inches away from the door and not bothering to take another step closer to him.

"Hi." He says shortly as you take a look around the balcony.

"Is Steve here? Nat told me he's looking for me." Your hands went behind your back, fidgeting with your fingers.

"No, uh-- that's me. I told her to get you, you looked like you were about to fall asleep." He admitted.

"You were looking at me?"

"I always do, sweetheart." That goddamn nickname had you weak in the knees as you cleared your throat.

[Party on you, party on you]

"Then, why did you have her call me over here?" You asked, feet still planted on the ground.

"Oh I didn't. That's all her, I simply just told her to get you away from the boring conversation you were having with Mr. Klear there." Bucky shrugs. "But I wouldn't mind grabbing this opportunity to talk to you too."

That made you inhale deeply as you mentally prepared yourself about what was coming, it was the topic you've desperately tried to bury deep inside you.

Finally, you walked to the ornate fences, standing on Bucky's right as you stared out in the view the city gave you.

With your eyes never wavering away from the city lights, Bucky still had his' on you, the air between you tensed again.

"I..." Bucky opened his mouth, his voice trailing off as he started to think of how to start. You faced away from the view and looked at him, your eyes held nothing but softness. "I'm sorry." The tone of playfulness from minutes ago was absent, instead it held regret and truthfulness.

"Bucky, you don't--"

[Party on you, party on you]

"I want to, doll, I need to apologize. After everything I've put you through until now, the very least I could do is apologize." He cuts you off with his firm but gentle voice. "That day when you first joined the Avengers, I swore I felt my heart stop. It stopped for a moment to the point where it felt suffocating, it was a feeling I have never felt-- so when I... when I felt it again the following day I knew it wasn't normal. I continue to feel it every single time I see you, it's a feeling I can't shake or ignore; it's something I feel with you and you only, sweetheart. So when I learned what was happening, I shut it down-- because, why would I ever get the chance to... love you?" His words left you speechless, he didn't hold any space for you to interfere. Instead, he stood there, spilling out every inch of his feelings to you because for him-- you at least deserve to know before you forget everything between you.

[Party on you, party on you]

The chatters from the party seemed hushed, the orchestra slowly fading away from earshot, the sounds of the vehicles under the building were silenced-- it was his voice only clouding your ears-- and you wouldn't want it any other way.

"And when... when Steve pointed out the way you were acting towards me too-- I knew I couldn't let that happen. You're such an... astonishing and extraordinary woman and I don't-- I don't deserve to be loved by you because what else would I ever give except danger and risks?" His voice turned out hushed, scared that one increase of a decibel in his tone would scare you away. "I don't... I'm not asking you to forgive me, sweetheart, I'm begging you just don't forget me."

[Party on you, party on you]

Your breath hitched, your hands dropped from the railings to your sides, your dress was flowing along with the breeze, your hair swaying along, and your mouth feeling stuck-- trying to find a response.

"I just... I missed you, doll, and I... I'd rather protect you a hundred more times from danger than lose you again." His words felt like the heavy weight from your shoulder disappeared, the weight you've been carrying for weeks on end.

Your foot took a step close to him, closing the distance between you as you tiptoed and kissed his lips, a silent way of saying that you do forgive him.

His arms were limp on his sides, his lips not kissing you back, his eyes wide in shock as he struggled to pull himself to reality where you were actually kissing him.

[Party on you, party on you]

When you pulled away, your eyes droopy and still fixed on his lips-- you took a short step back.

"You never lost me in the first place, Bucky." The soft mutter of his name coming from your mouth is what snapped him from his trance. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a soft kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his hands instinctively knew to snake around your waist.

The silence of the night, the soft playing of Clair de lune playing in the background, and your lips just pressed against each other-- it was perfect, so perfect you never wanted to leave.

[Party on you, party on you]

The kiss you shared was intimately slow so when the both of you pulled away from each other, both your eyes held nothing but love, a giggle erupted from your lips as the red lipstick you had smudged all over Bucky's lips.

The laughter shared between you brought you comfort, the touch his hands still stayed around your waist brought you contentment-- this was right, everything was right.

[Party on you, party on you]

a/n: did anyone else catch that glass onion reference i made hehehe

taglist !!:

@biaswreckedbybuckybarnes @burn0utp1sc3s @azrielsgirll @blackhawkfanatic @buckyslqve @1000shipsnh @drxies @il0vebucky @missexiled @forestwhisp @shushsuhshuh @lilia22hicks @kbear8863 @whiskeywineimfine @llliizzz @unicornqueen05 @am-3-thyst @stillhere197 @loverofdrewstarkey @ogoc-19 @theycallmeanxiety @srnomi @myst3c

[azaleassence]

it feels so surreal to see my work along with the other masterpieces in here, i feel so honored to be added into one of these 🥹🥹🫶

Bucky Barnes Fic Recs Pt. 2 - Imagines/One-Shots

More amazing stories written by amazing people 🤎✨🕯️💫🌹🪐🍂😊🤎🥺 If anyone would rather not be apart of this list please let me know & I'll edit it.

Part One

@inkdrinkerworld

courting: Bucky is a man from a different time. It shows when you start ‘going steady’ and honestly, you love it. Alternatively; Bucky uses 40’s dating etiquette to woo you, and surprises you with a modern turn of phrase.

@buckyalpine

Bucky can't lie: A smutty thot. Imagine the avengers fucking around with a lie detector test, testing how well the super soldiers were trained. Steve failed instantly while stating his own name, blushing from embarrassment. Bucky was shoved into the chair next.

@howiswhatawhy

Dive: college athlete! fuckboy(?)! bucky x tutor! Reader

@mrs-elsie-barnes

5 Times You Are Not Dating Bucky Barnes (and the one time you are)

@azaleassence

Party 4 u

@alisonsfics

you are my sunshine: a team bonding day is just what the thunderbolts need after a string of rough missions. you set aside all your other stress and make one goal for the day: get bucky to finally kiss you.

@orellazalonia

Even if You Forget: After a mission gone wrong, Bucky loses all memory of his relationship with you. Though heartbroken, you patiently stay by his side, offering gentle support and quiet company. Despite the emotional distance, you hold onto the hope that someday he’ll find his way back.

@cherdior

Till' Death Do Us Part: Even after your death, he continues to love you, so you stayed. You watch him fill the silence with old conversations, clinging to what used to be. But tonight, you finally ask him to let you go.

@jobean12-blog

In Your Arms: Bucky's been away on a mission and when he returns, you're all he wants.

@writingunderneathawillow

Blue Valentine: the four times bucky makes you cry + the one time you make him cry

@vividxpages

You, Forever: Bucky thinks if he gives this whole congressman thing some more months, he’ll might be okay with this new kind of lifestyle. Everything for the mission, right? But he just can’t bring himself to accept the fact that he keeps missing out on the evenings with you.

@lolab4t

Off Duty Part One: after a rare night off, you stumble back into avengers tower at 2 am.. tipsy, feet hurting, and definitely not expecting to run into bucky barnes on the couch. Part Two: days after the tipsy night on the couch, you’re left wondering what it meant… especially with bucky acting infuriatingly normal. the tension leads to a steamy exchange between the two, where bucky seems to let go of his gentleman manners for a bit.

@bcksgirl

helping bucky practice kissing leads to a whole lot more (SMUT)

@bcksbarnes

Flowers in Hand: unfortunately for bucky barnes, he is head over heels in love with you, and when you want something, it doesn't take much convincing. Traces of a Lonely World: bucky's job takes him away from you more that he cares to admit. most of the times you can understand, but there are some nights it tears you apart. Have I Found You: you and bucky are in the beginning stages of your relationship and get caught in a rainstorm

@magicaloneandmystery

Blush: the five times Bucky made you blush and the one time you did.

 @fanficgirl429

Y/N admits to Bucky that she has feelings for him

@navybrat817

Don't Look or Touch: Bucky isn’t having a good day and John suffers the consequences

@thunderbolt-ing

"I Can't Do it Alone": Who would've thought that you tearing panelists apart with merely your sharp words would land you a job? Or, better yet, here's how you became Congressman Barnes' legislative aide.

@featherandferns

You or Nothing: when the Thunderbolts enter the void, Bucky goes missing. You take it upon yourself to find him, venturing into his deepest pockets of his shame.

@bruisedboys

bucky flirts with his shy secretary (fem!reader)

@artficlly

the art of pretending: being mentored by bucky is nothing short of torture; he’s cold, infuriating, and impossible to please. but when a mission gone wrong leaves you stranded in a freezing safehouse together, you start to wonder if all that supposed hatred has just been hiding something else entirely. (SMUT)

@midnightquips

Chaos: You and Bucky are involved in a friends with benefits situation. But when feelings start to creep in, you’re not quite sure if this situation is the best for you anymore.

@the-winter-spider

Pink Skies: He left, and the world didn’t end but something in you did. What followed wasn’t healing, not at first, just presence, patience, and hands that never let go.

@marvelstoriesepic

If you asked me now: Years after separating for college, you reunite with Bucky while coincidentally working the same wedding. Still on the list: Frat!College!Bucky x College!Reader - Bucky Barnes, the infamous frat guy, known for sleeping around and throwing parties left and right, constantly invites you, out of all people, to all of them. His intentions though remain a mystery to you. Following a troubling event that leaves you shaken and anxious, Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. Stolen glances and exchanged smiles gradually blossom into a connection that goes beyond what meets the eye. Powdered Sugar: childhood best friend fuckboy!Bucky x hopeless romantic!Reader - Your friend group is having a night out at the local carnival. Bucky is his charming self and you are tired of pretending it doesn’t affect you. Creamy and Crunchy: Bucky joins you grocery shopping to everyone’s surprise. Like he means it: You can’t take another night of hearing Bucky fuck a girl who isn’t you. Weakness: You use Bucky’s only weakness to your advantage until it bites you in the ass.

@delusionalwriterr

Gym Buddy: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Reader. You have a hard time keeping your eyes off of your gym crush.

@sinner-as-saint

stick to me, like caramel: Sergeant Barnes has retired, and moved as far away as possible from the superhero life. He’s still in touch with some of his friends, but he never asks them to visit. Nor does he ever leave the quaint, warm small town he’s found himself in, or the spacious home he has, nestled between mountains and dense pine woods. Bucky lives a quiet life, away from danger, guns and bullets, aliens and wizards, and all the other noises. He likes it here. It’s calm, nice, and quiet. Nothing stresses him out, nothing bothers him. Nothing, except a certain neighbour of his. She torments him, in the best ways. And Bucky’s not sure how long he can resist her. (SMUT)

@world-of-aus

Hot Shot: NHL!Photographer!Reader x Hockey Player!Bucky

@marvelwitchergilmore

Anchor: Bucky is there for you when no-one else is. Late Nights: Bucky talks to you after you have a nightmare. Something More: Since you met Bucky, he's always looked at you with...something more. And you never knew why. One day, you finally find out what he means by it.

@wkemeup

Flight Risk: Bucky becomes a flight risk after a failed mission and is put in lockup under Steve’s orders. Even though Bucky won’t say a word of what happened, you camp outside the door to his cell so he knows he isn’t alone.

@fawniswriting

Even Fallen Things: The story of a girl and her fallen flowers, as well as a boy who can't seem to forget either of them. After I Was Too Late: The three times Bucky saved your life, and the one time you save each other. Before I Could Say It: The three times Bucky almost confessed his love to you, and the one time he finally does.

@pellucid-constellations

Are You Bored Yet?: College!Bucky x Tutor!Reader - God, you hated Bucky. Bucky probably hated you, too. Maybe. It was hard to tell when he was drunk and calling you pretty at a party you shouldn't have gone to.

@msmarvelwrites

Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of: “ You had been an empath for as long as you could remember. But still, there were days more frequently than not that you wished you could turn it all off. ”

@cheekybarnes

The Shape of Life: You didn’t plan to become a guardian overnight—and you never planned to ask Bucky for help. He wants a future you’re not sure you believe in, and now you’re both standing at the edge of it, trying to decide what comes next. A Place to Land: After a night out goes violently wrong, you call Bucky—without knowing what you’re even asking for. He shows up anyway, staying long after the worst of it, until you finally start to believe you’re safe. Hold Fast: A winter mission goes sideways, forcing you to cross a frozen lake under fire. The ice doesn’t hold—and when you go under, Bucky is the only thing between you and the dark.

@waternilly

"Pick You Up at Seven?": Almost two weeks after meeting Bucky, he finally asks you out to a proper date.

@skaye44

Migraine: You suffer from migraines. You haven't had one in a while so you go out shopping with Wanda and Nat only for one to start when you are halfway done. You ask Bucky to come and get you, so he drops everything and does, leading to some TLC he gives you while you rest and recover.

@helaintoloki

Misunderstanding: you accept Bucky’s invitation to attend Tony’s charity gala as his date, but your night quickly turns sour when you find out about his bet with Natasha after accidentally sending yourself back in time, you run into a younger version of the man you loathe only to find yourself questioning your feelings for him Somethin' Stupid Part One: a drunken confession spoils a perfectly good evening Part Two: being forced to go on a mission together allows bucky and y/n to come to an understanding

@maemae2998

Behind Closed Doors: Military Officer Bucky AU (SMUT)

@thedevilsoftruth

gorgeous and cinnamon: A cute date with the hotie you met online turns into a night of him fucking your brains out after you open up to him about a certain " fella " who did you wrong. (SMUT)

@daxisyzz

Pretty Please: Bucky Barnes is hopelessly in love with you. He gives you everything you ask for—until you stop asking. That’s when he decides to give you the one thing you never say aloud.

@writingunderneathawillow

Dozed Off

@imtryingbuck

Timeless Love: Bucky might have met the love of his life in the middle of a war, he just wished he was able to live a life with her.

@mandoalorian

Under His Claim: Congressman!Bucky Barnes x Personal Assistant!Reader - After a heated confrontation with Ethan, Bucky can’t hold back any longer. His possessive instincts take over when he returns to the safe house. Bucky makes it clear that you are his—now and forever. (SMUT) The Cost of Freedom: Bucky thought he could outrun his past, but HYDRA always finds a way to drag him back. A confrontation with Ross reveals a chilling ultimatum—become the Winter Soldier again, or lose everything. When Bucky races back to your apartment, it’s already too late. You’re gone, leaving only an unmade bed and the echoes of a fight you never saw coming.

@aquaticmercy

The Congressman’s Secretary: Bucky forgets his birthday. You, his secretary, remember. Sanctuary: Bucky needs to vent, and you’re there to listen. One day, you both try a powerful sex magic ritual that blurs the line between healing and love. Better Man: Trapped in an abusive relationship, you cross paths with Bucky Barnes. Maybe, you deserve a second chance at love. Princess: You fall for Bucky Barnes, the Avenger assigned as your bodyguard. When a photo of the two of you kissing leaks to the tabloids, your clients start questioning your company’s integrity.

@malum-forev

Eyes, They Never Lie: Sam and Bucky try to recruit (Y/N), Bucky's ex and a former Avenger who has left that life behind. But they realize her life has changed completely once they meet a her daughter with striking blue eyes.

@appocalipse

The Same Thing: during a mission, you put yourself in harm's way to protect bucky. back at the avengers compound, he wants to know why.

@itsalliny0urhead

Let Me Stay: Bucky doesn’t ask for help. He never says he needs you. But when the nightmares hit, you’re the only one who can reach him. In the silence of the early hours, you hold him through the shaking, the memories, the guilt. He says he doesn’t deserve love — but you stay anyway. Because he’s yours. And you’ve never needed him to be perfect — only real.

@levanswrites

In the mood: He tells himself it’s fine. Gotta keep moving—bigger things to do, too many items on his list.  His libido doesn’t even crack the top ten. Until he met… you.

@moonlitdesertdreams

the beach: Post CATWS, you and Bucky have found temporary refuge somewhere warm and tropical. Now, you both enjoy an early morning on the beach.

@vunblr

Crumbs of Connection: When Bucky wanders into a quirky late-night bakery, he doesn’t expect the warmhearted owner to challenge his defenses.

@ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes

An (Almost) Unheard Confession

@reverieblondie

Book Club: Working at a library and at times be boring... but what happens when one of your regulars wants to make a book club? Just you and him? (SMUT)

[azaleassence]

currently working on party for u part 3, reply under here to be added to the taglist for that part >o<

part 3!!

[azaleassence]

Party 4 u - II

part 2 to Party 4 u -- part 1 -> find part 1 here

pairing: self-doubter!bucky x yearner!reader

summary: ever since you joined the Avengers, you always found Bucky attractive and interesting. call it love at first sight maybe. during your time in the Avengers, you'd always go over your limit when he's around-- wishing to just impress him. but despite everything, ever show-off, every flirtatious comment you throw at him, every mention of your name-- he never gave you at least a bit of his attention. it wasn't until your birthday when you decided you were done. the last string pulled? him not coming to your birthday. you lived your life knowing that he never got the hint but... a part of him knew, he always has.

warnings: self-doubting bucky, use of alcohol, being drunk, speaking out her drunk thoughts, both stubborn reader and bucky, mentions of blood, stitching up wounds, and cleaning of wounds, slightly ooc bucky, no use of y/n

a/n: thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs on my first part, my highlight of the day was the notifications i kept getting here in tumblr ^^

length: 2.8k words

[You could watch me pull up on your body]

Coming back from a failed mission, you were covered in bruises and wounds. Your white jacket was stained with dirt and mud, you don't remember from where.

The mission you attended was a trap, an ambush. They were luring all of you in to only activate the Winter Soldier inside Bucky. Instead of you focusing on the enemies, you were faced with an enraged Winter Soldier.

It took all three of your combined strength to finally knock him out. And here you are; all bloodied up and dirty. Sam and Steve had their fair share of the blood and wounds on their body while Bucky basically had his face scarred due to the punches you were throwing at him.

So here you are, inside his room: sitting on a chair beside his bed where he was laying on and tending to the cuts on his face. You couldn't lie but you did go overboard on knocking him out whenever you got the chance, so you paid the price by tending to him.

Not like you were hating the idea, being close to him? Were the gods listening to you?

You snap from your thoughts as you notice his eyes fluttered open. Being cautious, you immediately stood up from the chair and moved away from him if ever he still was the winter soldier version of himself.

He noticed you moving away from him as he furrowed his eyebrows and blinked his eyes a couple of times to adjust to the light. He sat up on the bed, groaning in pain due to his sore limbs and hundreds of wounds and stitches around his body.

"Don't move too much. I had just finished stitching the open wound on your leg." You said with a small voice as you walked closer to him and closed the first aid kit you had taken from your room.

"What..." He mumbled, confused. His eyes were looking around the room as if trying to remember some of the memories before it all turned fuzzy during the mission. His eyes darted everywhere until it landed on your focused and scarred up face when you threw away all the dirtied cotton balls you had used to clean him up. 

You noticed his confusion as his eyes landed on you. You purse your lips as you sighed before pulling the chair away from the bed and sitting on it.

"You went... full-on winter soldier on us. The mission was a trap." You filled him in as you looked at his face, sensing more curiosity and confusion. 

"And that?" He asked as he referred to your face.

"Your artwork." You retorted as an almost nonexistent frown appeared on his face, it was so small you almost didn't see it. "I got you back though, don't worry. My face isn't the only one wrecked here." You added, taking heavy weight off of his shoulder with your short words to light up the mood.

An awkward silence passed the two of you as you looked around the room before standing up from the chair and grabbing your first aid kit.

"You should get some rest and avoid moving too much, you have 2 stitches on your leg, 4 on your stomach, and 1 on your flesh arm." You pointed out as you turned around and left.

Before Bucky could mutter a word of thanks to you, you had already closed the door and went out your way to go back to your room.

Bucky laid back down on his bed, his metal forearm resting on his forehead as his eyes remained at the ceiling. He fucked up. Hurting you? What was he thinking?

[Like it's summer, take my clothes off in the water]

This was refreshing. After the trap mission you attended about 3 months ago, you came home from a new mission with little to none bruises on your body.

All because you had helped conduct a plan with Natasha and Steve. The ideas, the execution-- all were proposed by you and all went off well once the mission was done. You felt... fulfilled.

As you made it to the Avengers tower, you were walking past your teammates to go back to your room. Sam put a hand on your shoulder as you stopped and looked at him.

"You should plan more missions, we cannot afford anymore first aid kits." Sam joked as you patted his hand on your shoulder.

"You're very much welcome, Sam. Although, I only take tokens of gratitude with alcohol and beer." You retorted as he took his hand off of your shoulder.

"You got it, boss." Sam flashed you a smile as he looked at the direction where the rest of the Avengers were going to-- the lounge. "Hey, everybody! Drinks tonight at the bar, all on me." He calls out as you let out a short laugh at his enthusiasm. 

"Hell yeah, I'm getting tired with the rich-ass wine Tony has in this place." Bruce yelled from the lounge. "No offense, Stark." He said in a more quiet manner as Tony shook his head.

Sam looked at you as you chuckled and nodded, agreeing to the drinks thing. Sam walked away as he went to join the rest of the team in the lounge.

[Splash around and get you blessed like holy water]

As you turned around to walk to the hallway to your room, Bucky was walking towards the direction where you were standing. His eyes gazed at you as he found himself almost slowing down his pace before picking it up again and walking past you.

You stood there, your feet planted on the floor as you blinked a couple of times before letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding in when you saw Bucky approach you.

You turned your head to the direction of the lounge as Bucky continued to walk away from you, not even bothering to look back at you.

Sighing to yourself and your silly thoughts-- you turned and walked to your room.

[I don't know what you've been waiting for]

Sitting in the warm-lit kitchen with hot tea nesting in both your hands. Was this the second time in a week where you're ranting to Natasha about these unspoken feelings?

"I don't know anymore, Nat." You sighed as you finished pouring out all your feelings to her as she listened with a focused face.

"Why won't you just... tell him?" She asked in response as she leaned on the counter.

"If only it was that easy." You murmured. "Have you seen how the man *ignores* me? I saved his ass multiple times during missions and yet there was no nod of approval, no thank you's, nothing. Whenever I pin Sam down during training, he always looks away-- uninterested." You pointed out as Natasha let out a short sigh.

"You're overthinking it." 

"I'm literally not. Confessing my feelings to him would be just pure suicide, I'd rather get sent to space." You muttered as you took a long sip from your mug.

"But keeping it to yourself would only kill you little by little." She countered as you frowned at her words, not even denying the fact that it was actually gnawing on you every waking second. "And plus... maybe he also has hidden feelings towards you; just waiting for the right time to tell you, y'know, with the two of you being busy majority of the time, it's hard to find a time." She tried to reassure you but your heart felt nothing but icy cold as you doubt he was feeling the same. 

God, this was tiring.

[You know I've been waiting for you]

"Buck, we're gonna be late for her birthday." Steve sighed as he rested his elbows on his knees while sitting on the edge of Bucky's bed.

"I know that... I just... I don't know how I can face her." Bucky muttered as he paced back and forth in his room.

During the entirety of Steve's life where he had known Bucky (excluding their cryo era), not once has he seen Bucky this nervous to see a girl. Well, not until now.

"What are you even stressing about?" Steve asked as he rubbed his eyes in frustration. It was the same as every other day-- Bucky = stressing for no reason except the fact that he'll see you again which was entirely weird considering that you've been coworkers for so long now, and Steve being there for him to get him through his stressed episodes.

"What if she doesn't like my gift? I knew that I should've splurged for something better." Bucky asked as he looked at the paper bag on his desk. 

"Bucky, it won't matter. I'm sure that she'd appreciate that-- love it even. And if I'm not wrong, as long as you give her a gift-- she'd be grateful, hell, if you gave her an empty paper bag; she would worship it and keep it." Steve sighed as he looked up at Bucky.

"An empty paper bag? What kind of gift is that?" Bucky furrowed his eyebrows.

"It was a figure of speech, Buck. But that's not the point-- you're getting all stressed for nothing." Steve assured him. "Don't you see how the girl looks at you? It's like you hang the stars and moons in the night sky." Steve points out. "She likes you, Bucky."

Bucky stops as he looks out the window from his room. "I know... I just don't think that I deserve it-- her love." He muttered.

Steve sighs again, how many times has he heard the same thing from Bucky? Over a million. He understood that Bucky was in denial-- it was a clear sign since he hasn't felt these feelings towards a girl since the 40s, but Steve never understood how stubborn he could be.

So then, Bucky ran to him once again until Steve gave him a million-dollar advice before leaving and going to the direction of the place you had rented out for your birthday-- leaving Bucky alone to dwell on his thoughts, alone.

He even came across the thought to just... not go. But he couldn't do that, not to you at least. So after giving his dwelling more time, he grabbed his keys to his motorbike and drove to the place, ignoring how his heart pounded in his chest.

[(I only threw this party for you)]

So here he was. 2 and half hours late to your party and standing beside you, inches away.

"Bucky?" You called out for him as he took his eyes off of the city lights and turned to look at you. "You're here?"

Once he got a clear look at your face, it was clear that you were crying. Dried up tears on your cheeks, swollen eyes, and the red nose? A flash of concern went through him.

[All I'm thinking, all I know is]

"I did. Sorry I was late." He apologized as you fully looked at him with droopy eyes.

"Asshole." You cursed him out, clearly drunk as the curse smoothly left your mouth. "You know how long I waited for you?" You asked with a quiet voice that brought pangs of pain shoot through Bucky's chest.

"I was conflicted with something." He responded with sympathy as he noticed how your eyes glistened. "I'm sorry." He apologized again.

[That I hope you knock on my door]

"Whatever." You slur as you looked away from him, your eyes blinking twice to blink away and tear and refocus your eyesight once you get a little too sleepy due to the countless drinks you had taken.

Bucky took a step to his side, getting close to you until his arm was only an inch away from your right one. 

The action didn't go unnoticed by you as you felt a shiver go down your spine, you don't know if it was because of how close he was or the breeze by the wind-- you were too drunk to care.

[Nervous energy]

From your blurry peripheral, you see how he takes his arms off of the railing and turns to look at you but your body freezes, you couldn't face him, at least not now. Not with the tears clouding your eyes and not with your body shivering.

He saw how you didn't return his gaze, he noticed it all. Without skipping a beat, he takes off of his black leather jacket and places it over your shoulders, it was big enough to cover half of your dress.

Your heart stopped as you finally looked at him, your eyes droopy as the alcohol caught up to you. Nothing was exchanged between the two of you, no words, no sounds-- just the silence.

[My heart rate rises higher, higher up]

"What... what is this?" You asked, the words coming out of your mouth drunkenly and before you could even assess what you were saying. 

"What do you mean?" He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, tilting his head slightly.

"This." You referred to the whole thing, the alcohol clouding your judgement before you could stop letting the words out. "One time you'll be nice and understanding to me, the following-- you'd ignore me as if I don't exist." You let the drunken thoughts out while Bucky looked at you with a guilt-pained expression.

"I... I don't-"

"Don't deny it, you asshole. You act like I'm an incurable disease during some days and act like I'm the oxygen you need to breathe during the others." You looked at him, helpless as the words continued to fall from your mouth. "Just be straight and tell me that you don't give a shit about me so I can finally go and move on." You added, your chest tightening with every word, every syllable, and every letter.

Bucky opened his mouth to deny what you implied before closing it again as he took a double take to the conversation he and Steve had before-- was he really worth your love after making you feel like this? Helpless, tired, and broken?

[I wish you'd get here, kiss my face]

The alcohol was still in your system but it slowly exited your system as you continued to hold eye contact with Bucky. A strong wind gushed through the rooftop as the leather jacket around your shoulders fell to your feet. You couldn't be bothered to pick it up as Bucky struggled to form words in his mouth.

A scoff left your mouth in disbelief at the lack of response you got from him. You were used to not having long conversations with him but with something so serious as this one-- you expected him to at least hold the conversation for 5 minutes.

[Instead you're somewhere far away]

"I hate you. I wish... I wish I never had fallen for you." You sucked in a harsh breath, stepping back as you almost lost your balance. Bucky was quick to reach his hand out for you but you pushed them away once you regained your balance. "Don't." You breathed out as you turned around from him and walked to the door back inside the place, you wrapped your hands around yourself as a way to try and warm you up.

Bucky stood alone on the rooftop, an empty hole in his chest as he glanced at his leather jacket on the floor, your words hanging heavy around him.

"I wish I hadn't fallen for you either." Bucky muttered to himself as he watched you walk inside. His words didn't hold resentment nor hatred towards you-- it held hatred for himself.

[My nervous energy will stay]

After your birthday, you bid your friends and peers goodbye as they left the place one by one. You stayed behind to pay the remaining half of the bill.

After paying, you walked back to the booth where you hung out with your team, seeing your phone by the booth, but it wasn't alone. Beside it was a brown paper bag with a tag.

Thinking that it was a gift from Natasha, you grabbed it along with your phone and read the tag on the paperbag.

[I hope you realize one day]

'Happy birthday, from Bucky'

Your heart stopped as you read the tag and opened the paper bag, taking the paper filling out as your eyes landed at a rectangular box inside. Grabbing it and taking it out of the bag, you opened the box as you were greeted with a shimmering necklace.

A necklace you remembered losing during your last mission-- a necklace that you wore since for as long as you can remember. A paper was stuck to the box with his handwriting. 

'I know it isn't the original but I know how much you value your necklace, happy birthday'.

A pang hit your chest as you read the letter again and again until a notification sound from your phone snapped you out of your thoughts. You closed the box and placed it back inside the paperbag before opening your phone to see a notification from himself.

Bucky:

Please let me explain myself

I can't let you go just like this.

[Party on you]

a/n: can ya'll tell that i rushed this :,(

click here to be added to the taglist for the third part >.<

[azaleassence]

Party 4 u

part 2

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: ever since you joined The Avengers, you always found Bucky attractive and interesting. call it love at first sight maybe. during your time in The Avengers, you'd always go over your limit when he's around-- wishing to just impress him. but despite everything, every show-off, every flirtatious comment you throw at him, every mention of your name-- he never gave you at least a bit of his attention. it wasn't until your birthday when you decided you were done. the last string pulled? him not coming to your birthday. you lived your life knowing that he never got the hint but... a part of him knew.

warnings: yearning!reader x actingoblivious!character, slight angst if you squint, mentions of alcohol and getting drunk, no use of y/n, desperate and longing reader

a/n: this is my first song-oneshot, I've gotten a sudden liking to avengers, bucky specifically :p

length: 1.3k

Watching as the place you rented out slowly filled up with people you've invited; greetings and hugs seemed never-ending.

Your eyes scanned the room as you looked for the people you've invited first, the Avengers. Your eyes landed on the corner party booth as a smile perked up on your lips. Moving through the crowd, you gradually made it to the booth.

"I'm so glad you guys came." You expressed as Natasha stood up from the booth and engulfed you in a hug.

"Of course we'd come, can't miss this day for the world." She responded as she pulled away from the hug and patted you on your lower middle back.

[I only threw this party for you]

You looked at the booth, confused as two people were missing from the team.

"Where's Cap and Bucky?" You asked, trying hard not to seem so concerned for the two.

[I was hoping you'd come through]

"Steve messaged me and told me that they'd get here late, dealing with Bucky's problems." Sam responded as he turned his phone off.

"Problems? Did something happen?" You ask as you took a seat beside Natasha and grabbed one of the shot glasses. 

"Don't know, Steve didn't say." Sam shrugged as he took another swig of his beer from the glass he was holding.

"Why, concerned?" Natasha piped in as you turned to look at her with a face giving a silent warning to not continue what she was implying.

[I'm about to party on you]

"No, just wondering." You swiftly covered up as you downed the shot of alcohol you grabbed from the table, wincing as the strong taste hits your throat. "That's god awful. What is this?" 

"That was a shot of Everclear, Natasha was making a drink." Clint looked at you with a half-disgusted face that you downed a shot of one of the most strongest alcohol and half-concerned face.

"Well, shit." You chuckled at yourself before grabbing one of the alcohol bottles present on the table and poured yourself a shot.

The night progressed, shots were drank, and bottles were downed to the last drop. 

[One thousand pink balloons]

You were leaning back on the booth as they continued to talk about a story you couldn't care less about. The alcohol may have burned your throat but they can't burn up all the pain in your chest. The dress you wore, the makeup that took you 2 hours to do, the place you waited months to get a reservation for-- they all went to waste.

[DJ with your favorite tunes]

It was already some time after 11 and yet the seat in front of you remained empty. The DJ had played music you had requested him to play multiple times during the night only for the sole purpose that Bucky would hear it. Why? Maybe because you overheard him talking about it to Sam.

[Birthday cake in August, but you were born nineteenth of July]

[Champagne pourin' in your mouth]

You drowned yourself shot after shot all while Natasha and the rest of The Avengers trying to stop you but unfortunately for them, your stubbornness is enhanced more when you're drunk.

[Called your friends from out of town]

The booth where The Avengers was sitting was nowhere close to stopping drinking just like how Bucky was nowhere to be found. An hour ago, Steve had already made it to the bar but alone, no sign of Bucky. An unfamiliar ache pierced through your heart as you covered it up with drinking more alcohol. You were already used to this so why did it hurt now? 

[Got the party bag with the purple pills]

With another raise of your hand, you ordered more beer, more shots, and more alcohol to be placed on your table. Better to drown your sorrows now, right?

[And I'm waiting for you by the window]

[Called your digits but the phone kept ringing]

You hastily grabbed your phone from your pocket, almost dropping it as you pulled it out. You blinked multiple times, trying to focus as you inputted your password. As if out of habit, your thumb immediately clicked on the icon of the messages app and instinctively at Bucky's contact.

[Wish I knew what you were thinking]

You stared at your phone for a good 5 minutes before typing a poorly written message for him. Satisfied at what you wrote, you sent the message before turning your phone off.

[Hope you walk in the party]

You pushed your phone back to your pocket, or so you thought. You divert your attention to the entrance door as it remains untouched without a trace of Bucky. Your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to calm yourself down.

You only threw this party to get noticed by him, but he didn't even pop in for a minute. 

[Cause I threw the party just for you.]

Feeling sick to your stomach, you excused yourself as you made your way to the door that leads to the rooftop to get fresh air. Wasted, you stumbled your way to the door and pushed it open as you were greeted with a cold breeze.

Your eyes were basically closing as you walked to the railings and enjoyed the little peace up there all while the muffled songs from the DJ Stand continued playing behind you. You held yourself with both your hands holding the railing.

All the city lights were blurry in your eyes and before you knew it, tears started to roll down your eyes. The unfamiliar feeling of the tears made you confused as you held up one of your hands to touch your wet cheek.

A short laugh escaped your mouth out of disbelief as you inhaled a sharp breath. You hated this unfamiliar feeling, loathed it even.  You were confused as to why everything was happening, confused why you're so affected, confused why out of everyone-- it just had to be him.

It wasn't long until you leaned against the railing, your eyes drying up as the tears that left them slowly dry up due to the cold air of the night sky. Despite the continuous shots you've taken, you found yourself slowly sobering up yet still a bit tipsy.

You took notice of the sound of the rooftop door opening then closing. You wished it was a random staff who'd ignore you because if it was anyone else you knew, your peace would be interrupted. The unknown figure stopped a few inches far from your right as they too gazed at the city lights under them.

You didn't take your eyes off of the view and ignored the presence of the individual beside you, thinking that they also wanted peace. Yet that peace was interrupted when you looked at your peripheral and saw a familiar metal arm leaning against the metal railings of the rooftop.

"Bucky?" You breathed out as you raised your head to look at the unknown-known individual beside you.

[Party on you...]

part 2