#like you mean to tell me there was NO mention of it whatsoever????? sounds like he's tried calling before too
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vampfiire · 2 months ago
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man.. the father of all time eddie diaz did NOT i repeat DID NOT deserve that video call
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steddieme · 10 days ago
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in most fics i've read robin is grossed out when steve talks about his sex life, which is probably far more in character for her, but hear me out
imagine them discussing literally everything. like having no boundaries whatsoever.
one day robin mentions she's never seen a dick and she's curious what all the fuss is about.
robin: you have one
steve: yeah...?
robin: so show me
steve: ??
steve: sure, why not
when steve pulls down his pants, robin just stares at him with a blank face
robin: that's... it?
steve: what do you mean that's it??
robin: it looks sad
steve: ??? well, it's not hard rn, obviously???
robin: ugh, boring
steve: you want me to show you my hard dick?? is that what's happening rn?
robin: i mean yeah?
steve: your judgemental face is forever burned into my mind. i don't think i'll ever be able to get hard again.
then robin bursts into his room like a week later
robin: steve, you're a slut-
steve: hey!
robin: so you know your way around a vagina, right?? i need you to tell me if i have a rash or not
steve: do you not own a handheld mirror?
robin: i'm freaking out so much, i can't make a sound observation rn
steve: *sigh* alright
turns out robin does indeed have a rash and steve takes her to the doctor
at one point they lose all shame. steve regularly air dries while robin hangs out in his room. robin makes steve do her monthly breast self-exam. they check each other for ticks.
when steve and eddie start dating steve tells robin literally everything. robin knows way too much about eddie and she loves it.
robin comes over for movie night, eddie is already there
robin: how was your day?
steve: we slept in, then eddie fucked me, it was great-
eddie: *chokes*
steve: then we cooked lunch, there are some leftovers in the fridge, go ahead and eat. yours?
eddie: ???
robin: ugh, don't get me started-
eddie: wait wait wait, how did you just say that so casually?
stobin: ???
eddie: that i fucked you??
steve: i tell robin everything. i told you that. you said that's fine.
eddie: i didn't know that included our sex life?
steve: why wouldn't it? ... wait, oh no, are you not okay with that?? i'm sorry, i thought you knew??
eddie: oh no, it's fine! it just surprised me is all. y'all are real freaks, carry on
stobin: okay then
robin freaks out before her first date with a girl
robin: what if my vagina looks weird???
steve: are you planning to fuck her on the first date, buckley? and how many times do i have to tell you your vagina looks absolutely normal??
robin: no, i'm not, but it's still a valid concern!!! what if my vagina looks hideous to girls??
eddie, the silent observer: lol
steve: what are you even talking about... a vagina is a vagina, vagina lovers love all vaginas
robin: stop saying vagina
steve: vagina vagina vagina-
robin tackles him and they end up wrestling until steve yields
steve: okay okay,, as someone who's seen his fair share of coochies
robin: that's even worse
steve: yours looks perfectly fine.
eddie: wait, you've seen it?
stobin, staring at him: ...
eddie: right, dumb question
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roseykat · 1 year ago
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TITLE: Sexual habits
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SUMMARY: an OT8 blurb of each of the members’ small sexual habits.
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work and page whatsoever.
TAGS: mentions of sex, orgasms, notions of nipple play and biting (nothing major)
MASTERLIST
BANG CHAN
You know that video compilation of when everytime Chan laughs, he squeaks? He does the exact same thing but in the bedroom too. When the pleasure is exceedingly intense for him, he will moan and what not. But amongst those erotic sounds that come out of his mouth, are tiny squeaks. It’s like he does it because he can’t take it. As he watches his cock slide in and out of you, glistening with your juices, Chan is a moaning (slightly squeaky) mess.
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MINHO
Furrowing his eyebrows during sex. It’s his face of concentration and it’s insanely hot. He might look angry, but he’s the complete opposite. Similar to others, it’s just his way of expressing what he’s feeling on the inside whenever he fucks you. His mind is trying to hone in on the feelings that your pussy or mouth makes him feel, because of that, he’ll hiss at the pleasure building while his eyebrows knit together. It makes you wish you could take a photo of him in that state if he’d let you…
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CHANGBIN
Has a very strong habit of lip biting. Usually when you ride him, Changbin will watch down his abdomen at the space in between your legs where his cock slips away smoothly. As a result, he’ll tend to bite down on his bottom lip out of frustration at how good he feels and how good it looks. In saying that, he also has a tendency to bite your lip whenever the two of you are making out or kissing.
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HYUNJIN
Needs to orgasm at the exact same time as you. To him, there’s something about cumming with you that he finds so indescribably hot and also makes him orgasm harder. It won’t usually take you long to cum and neither for him, but the only difference is that if and when he is waiting for you to reach the same height as him, he has to try with every ounce of his strength not to bust so early in order to cum with you.
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JISUNG
Rolling his eyes. With a very over sensitive body, Jisung isn’t immune to dealing with large volumes of pleasure. So when you edge him - he’s fucking gone. He goes from swearing into the air, cursing at nothing bc of how good it feels, then his words melt in his brain before they come out. It’s easy to reduce him to just moans and grunts all the while you get to watch his eyes continue to roll back sometimes. It’s an interesting observation seeing a person just lose all grip of reality. However, you swear that his eyes will get stuck in the back of his head one day.
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FELIX
Grasping or holding onto you. This seems obvious bc sex can be complicated when you haven’t got a hold of something. Like grabbing someone’s hips or ass, areas as such. But that’s not the type I mean. Felix needs to hold onto you bc he enjoys the intimacy of it. If he’s fucking you missionary, his left arm is underneath your body, above your shoulder blades like he’s trying to hug you. When you’re riding him, he sits up with you so his arms can wrap around your body when you roll your hips down onto his cock. It brings his skin closer to yours and he’ll never ever get enough of just feeling your body. Not even in a sexual way sometimes.
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SEUNGMIN
Checks in on you a lot. While we (most of the time mainly me) sometimes proclaim him as a bit of mean/hard top/dom at times, he’s also very caring. When trying new positions, he’ll ask you things like ‘is that okay?’, ‘how do you feel?’, ‘tell me what it’s like baby’, ‘need me to go faster or slower?’ There’s something about him asking those variations of consensual questions that turn you on even more bc it demonstrates that he’s in tune to the moment and with what’s happening but most importantly, because he cares about your needs and overall loves you a lot.
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JEONGIN
Seems to have a habit where he bites and or nips. Half the time, Jeongin doesn’t even mean to do it and doesn’t realise that he is until it evokes an emotion out of you. Your neck appears to be the spot that he goes for because he finds that that’s where you’re the most sensitive. If not, then he goes for your earlobe. Or in more heated situations where his mind flies out the gate, he will lick, bite, and suck on either one of your nipples. He loves the way that when he does it, you arch your back which presses your chest further into his mouth for him to torment you.
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r6s6r · 11 months ago
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constellations
cole walter x reader
warnings : angst, 18+, swearing, kinda long, mentions of anxiety and anxiety attacks.
i have been obsessing over MLWTWB recently so i am currently trying to make myself chill out so i am making this
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——————————————————————
y/n had met alex at school and they instantly became bestfriends. they bonded over their love of video games and books
it went on like that for years. they were attached at the hip and she became like a part of the family
she was always around that they never even questions when she doesn’t go home some nights
of course they made sure she slept in a different room, which she always curled up on the recliner in the living room so danny could make his way down to watch his movies, careful not to wake her up. even if he did, she didn’t mind. she would be lulled back to sleep by the sound of the tv.
that was until jackie came to live with the walters
she didn’t mind jackie, she actually liked having a girl around but all of a sudden alex was in a trance over the olive skinned girl.
she felt pushed to the side.
forgotten.
———
she stood against the counter while alex stared at jackie, her heart broke a little bit.
she didn’t feel jealous, she hadn’t seen alex that way whatsoever. he was her bestfriend but he was distracted and that made y/ns mind spiral.
she had always had a problem with that. her mind never ending and always telling her she would be forgotten. she wasn’t good enough. she’s replaceable.
her mind then spiraled and she felt lightheaded. she needed air right then or she would burst into flames
she pushed herself from the counter and started towards the front door
“hey! you okay?” jackie smiled at her
“ye-yeah i’m okay, jackie. i’m just gonna go take a walk.” the tears were coming and she knew it
“do you want me to come with?” jackie offered warmly, almost like she knew the look on y/ns features
“oh no, jacks that’s okay”
“okay…” she looked at y/n to analyze her, jackie looked over to alex and saw him with his book to his face and then looked at y/n who was already out of the door and sighed.
y/n made her way down the steps as fast as she could.
her heart was pounding so loud she couldn’t hear anything going on around her. she just kept walking
she couldn’t think of anything else to do, her feet taking her to god knows where
until she ran right into him.
cole walter.
her coley poley.
she grabbed his arm and pushed herself up to keep upright, her whole body was shaking. she prayed he hadn’t noticed but cole knowing her like the back of his hand
he knew something was very wrong
“hey, doll. what’s going on?” he grabbed onto her to keep her steady.
“c-cole. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to run into you. i’m sorry. i just needed some air. i’m sorry” the apologies just kept coming and the tears were on the brink of spilling
she could barely hear her own words over her speeding heart.
“hey. hey, it’s okay. talk to me, y/n/n” she looked at him, seeing his eyes for the first time since running into him
they looked helpless
she saw pain and sadness behind them
but the way the sun hit them just right, she saw hope. she saw a little cole running through the fields of the ranch with her, she saw life in his green orbs
they reminded her of the fields here in spring. the different patterns that swirled in the color of his eyes.
she took a deep breath and tried to tell him
but she choked and started to panic again.
he grabbed her face in his hands “look at me y/n/n” and she did
he talked to her slowly but nothing made it to her conscious brain. she just focused on the way he was taking breaths and the golden color his eyes had become
she tried to mimic his breaths, slow and deep.
“will you walk with me, coley poley?” she basically begged and he smiled and nodded at her.
so they did, they walked for what felt like forever before she finally calmed down enough to discuss why she had panicked.
“i just feel replaceable. since jackie got here alex has been, well, distant and we haven’t been hanging out as much. i’ve just been wandering around the house and the ranch with no real place to be anymore. without alex, where is my place here? is he gonna forget about me?” she looked at cole and his expression softened
“well, truly you are unforgettable. none of us would have you anywhere else. we all love you, you know that right, y/n/n? plus, she’s without. if you were my best friend, i would make sure you knew that.” he sighed looking off in the distance then back at her
“you would?” “i would”
“cmon, i wanna show you something” he stood up and offered his hand to her which she took and he brought her up with ease.
he turned his back to her “get on”
“what?” she questioned
“a princess does not get to walk to a secret location” he smiled at her over his shoulder and with a sighed she hoisted herself onto his back.
“giddy up cowboy.” she smiled at him
“yes ma’am.” he winked with a fake southern accent
and he began to make his way towards their destination.
when they made it, her eyes lit up. their destination was at the pond that had hundreds of flowers growing around it, it was truly beautiful around this time of year.
she jumped down and raced towards the pond, to a group of flowers and she laid right down. she closed her eyes and took in the scent of the air around her
cole made his way to her and smiled down at her.
“lay down with me coley poley”
“you gotta stop calling me that. the girls will never let me get close to them if you don’t”
“oh like you need anymore girls flocking your way. you basically have all of them worshipping the ground you walk on” she rolled her eyes and elbowed him as he sat down with a strained face
she knew it was hard for him since the incident with his leg.
she could never imagine how hard it must really be
“not all of them” he mumbled looking right at her
she made eye contact with him once again, his green eyes staring hard into her e/c ones.
she started counting the light freckles on his face and she began to speak “well i can’t be taken down by the cole effect. i am too strong” she smiled and flex her arms like she was the worlds strongest man
he laughed at her “i swear i’ll never hear the end of ‘the cole effect’ i don’t get it”
she scoffed at this “you don’t get it? okay let me try it on you. give you a little bit of the ‘y/n effect’ i would like to call it”
“okay give it to me y/l/n”
she peered out to the water where the sun was shining and leaned towards cole real close, close enough to smell her strawberry scented perfume and lotion.
she pointed to the water and gently touched his back “you see how the sun just shines on the water, coley poley?” she started, keeping her voice low and smooth
she rubbed a circle on his back which made cole shiver but she ignored it
“it shines right into your eyes, you know? makes them look so,”
he looked at her
“so green and gold. they sparkle, i could just look at them all day. they remind me of a meadow right as the sun is about to set”
her hand continued to rub his back
he looked like he had never been told this before
almost like it wasn’t the truth, y/n had just made it more seductive and sensual.
“it’s just like that, huh?” he whispered
“it’s just like that.” y/n pulled away but he grabbed her wrist quickly
“y/n”
“coley poley”
“y/n.”
“cole”
“did you mean it?” he leaned closer to her
“every word.” she smiled at him and leaned with him
“y/n!” she heard alex’s voice and the gallops of feet. her and coke scrambled up quickly and saw alex and jackie riding together
jackie must have said something to alex and he immediately came to find me, not noticing something was off until of course jackie said something.
jackie must of been good at reading people, y/n hated that. she hated being seen through like glass.
cole was standing behind her, pulling the leaves out of her hair and brushing off the back of her shirt.
alex looked at cole with a hard look. knowing what happened between them was rough but they were all still like family.
“what are you guys doing out here?” alex questioned them
“i just needed a walk and cole tagged along. i needed the company” y/n sneered back.
he was acting like she did something wrong
their problems weren’t hers, she needed someone by her side and alex obviously wasn’t gonna be there drooling over jackie.
“why didn’t you ask me?” his eyebrows furrowed when asking
“because you were busy, alex. come on, cole.”she answered perplexed, as if he didn’t know why.
she put her hand out towards cole and he took it. they started walking back to the ranch and whatever alex and jackie did wasn’t on her mind.
they made it back to the ranch
“thank you, coley poley. i really needed that�� she smiled facing him
he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “of course, doll. anytime you need me, i’m only a shout away.”
y/n made her way into the house to see isaac and lee playing mortal kombat on the couch so she plopped herself in between them and called the next round
————
y/n had fallen asleep in the recliner but woke up to the house of the front door closing. she adjusted her nightgown and threw on a jacket by the front door and made her way outside. she saw the lights on in the barn where cole worked on his truck
she knew it had to have been him. she stood outside and enjoyed the breeze for a moment before walking out to the doors. her hand reached for the handle and she took a deep breath before opening it.
“coley poley?” she questioned as she closed the doors, she heard light music in the back.
she never pegged cole to listen to this type of music
lights are turned off
music is on
minds are unlocked
this feeling is amazing
“hey doll. did i wake you?”
“kind of but that’s okay. you weren’t loud, i’m just a light sleeper.”
he looked around the hood and started to lower it down before closing it completely
he was wearing a white tank top and his hair was messy around his forehead
she walked over to him and smiled at her “no scary monsters that need scaring away, right princess?”
“why no, of course not my knight. only you” she snickered at him
he feigned hurt “i could never hurt my princess. even if i am a monster”
“you’re no monster, cole walter.” she stepped closer to him
“what if i am? would you run?” he stepped even closer to her
“never.” she whispered, face to face with him.
when i hit the spot you know i hit it perfectly
and you taste so sweet
leave me wanting more soon
as we get out the sheets
he reached up and cupped her cheek his hand hands
he caressed her cheek with his thumb and she leaned more into it
she reached her hand up to his and held on to it, scared it would disappear if she didn’t.
she closed her eyes and sighed at the warmth of him.
he then pulled her to him and closed the gap between them.
he swayed them back and forth with the music.
lights are turned off
music is on
minds are unlocked
this feeling is amazing
hands on your waist
liquor is all that we taste
your freckles lead the way
i trace your constellations
she looked up at him and he was already looking at her big e/c eyes.
his eyes were that beautiful gold that they got at certain points when looking at her
all he could think was how ethereal she looked.
the dim light shining on her face, making her eyes sparkle and shine.
she lips plump and pink and her lashes looked long and wispy
she embodied natural beauty.
he didn’t feel himself leaning into her
but she was leaning in too.
he stopped himself thinking about how alex would really feel about this.
cole questioned himself for a second before y/n cupped his face to look at her and the look in her eyes threw every thought of doubt out of the window.
he grabbed her face and their lips finally met.
sparks had never been a thing for cole, he just did it to make other girls happy but this was different for him
it was for her too
now isaac had been her first kiss when they were young and of course Dylan, coles friend taking her virginity at a party after they had both had too much to drink. she never told anyone and she was sure he didn’t either, cole would’ve killed him.
this was different like it was what was missing from her life.
like she was waiting for the perfect moment and this was it.
cole knew this was different.
they pulled away and looked at each other for a split second before he started backing her against the front bumper of his truck
“cole..”
“y/n” he whispered, putting his forehead against hers.
before their lips met once again. more urgency behind this one
her wraps wrapped in the hair at the base of his neck and his hands made her way to her neck
her skin felt like it was on fire
he lifted her to wrap around his waist making her gasp as his lips trailed down her neck and to her collarbone.
she pulled at his hair to bring his lips back to hers and he groaned at the tug of his hair.
alex is gonna be so mad if he ever finds out what happened in the barn that night
i trace your constellations
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scenesniper · 3 months ago
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Hello hello, good day to you! If you don't mind may I request general headcanons for Matthias? (I got attached to him pretty quickly after multiple successful kites)
Tysm!
☆ matthias czernin ; general sfw & nsfw headcanons
pairing / matthias czernin x afab gn! reader
disclaimer / mention of blowjobs, finger fucking, tit fucking, dry humping
word count / 1,005 words
author's note / thank you anon, i'm having a good day i hope you are as well! i've been meaning to write about matthias for awhile (really, he's been in my drafts for a month now) so getting this request made me more motivated to finish.
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SFW
☆ ”welcome, to the outstanding show..” a human so stiff as if he’s a puppet, he could easily be mistaken as one indeed. if there was no puppet in sigh, there’d be no telling that he was truly the puppeteer in charge.
☆ matthias czernin, a gloomy man with his drooped eyes that’d have mothers clutching their children’s shoulders as they walk past by him in the street, whispering, ”don’t look at him..” he looks almost unremarkable at first glance but if not for that burnt side of his.
☆ he’s not one to talk much, his expression seemingly to wander elsewhere and his eyes looking downwards. he’s one that lacks self confidence and self respect but oh, he so badly wants a sense of normalcy in this life. a mundane life.
☆ his uncertainty and hesitance towards commitment is clear, even after developing a relationship firsthand. he’s riddled with insecurities but god, does he love the idea of pursuing a romantic relationship. something that he’s lacked his entire life. he’d like it if you could meet him, outside of his family, his personal life. outside of ever meeting louis.
☆ matthias would certainly be lacking in the romantic field but he’d be a romantic at heart, albeit shy and very discreetly. fleeting, hidden touches of your hands in the dark or under covers. he’s not one to necessarily initiate, nor really enraptured with physical touch. however, he’d notice there’d be days where he would miss you and your touch.
☆ conversations with matthias would be with substance. he’s not a big fan on small talk, something that he’s always not been the best at. however, he’d always try his best to engage in it, only for you really.
☆ he would love to take you out, even if it’s a small outing. any moment with you is more than enough to him, a fleeting moment of you is everything to him. just to get away from his past, future, present.
☆ kissing with matthias can and could be awkward, he’s not experienced whatsoever and it’s more of a small and fast peck. but when it’s those days, when he’s completely so infatuated and need you ever so badly, he’d take you like a crazed man. it’s messy, sloppy and horrible, but you can feel those porcelain lips of his on you and really, that’s all that matters in that moment.
NSFW
☆ overtime, he would get confident on himself and those brief periods of yearning would turn into makeout sessions, him struggling to take off his layers of clothing and him gently pushing you on his bed, the sight of you all laid out for him.
☆ he’s hasty each and every time with you, not knowing where to look or how to act when he sees your naked sight. he’s embarrassed and feels as though he’s committing a great sin just having this view all to himself. but that turns him on even more.
☆ matthias czernin in bed is much more confident in both his personality and ability during bed, as if a switch is being turned on. he loves to take the reigns, to finally have some sense of control in his life. he’s slow and serious.
☆ he loves you giving him blowjobs, guiding you by your hair and pulling and tugging. those sounds of gagging that’ll come out of you and that feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat, he can’t last as long as he likes. rather than cumming inside of your mouth, he much prefers it if he cum outside of it as he doesn’t like how disrespectful it could be.
☆ matthias is someone that’s attentive. he’ll have his hands all around you as if you’re a doll, occasionally touching you in places just to get any elicit response. whether it’s him rubbing your nipples, playing with your clit and shoving his fingers deep in you. oh, how he loves the sight of his fingers deep in your womb. “you’re almost taking it all in..”
☆ he’s very sensitive in every part of his cock but especially the area hidden and lifted up from his foreskin. tease his foreskin, tease him and graze your lips. that just absolutely drives him crazy.
☆ he wants to hear your every sound, something that reassures him that he’s doing good. he’s very vocal but tries to shield it (which he really isn’t good at, at all). the sight of you burying your head in your pillow while he’s balls deep in you, is a sight that’s practically ingrained in his mind every second of the day.
☆ he has a boob and ass fixation, his hands are always on it or nearing those areas. whether it’s him licking your entire nipples, squeezing, or even tit fucking (no matter the size).
☆ he loves clothed humping, the feeling of friction. he could do foreplay for as long as possible, pinching your nipples through your clothes, his clothed cock poking you from behind and his other hand splayed around your entire stomach. he's absolutely in love with the sight of his rubbing cock on you as you’re clothed.
☆ his most certain favorite position is cowgirl. however, he’s very insecure of his “ghastly” appearance. he’d sometimes raise his hands near his face as if it’s out of habit to conceal himself.
☆ reassure him by putting his hands down, kissing each and every part of those “imperfections”, people would call him as they jab. praise him for his beauty and all that he is. he truly needs it. to return those affections, he loves to put his hands on your face. his thumb grazing your cheek and nearing your eye.
☆ aftercare with matthias would always be one with a bath drawn. he loves to feel and be clean. he’d love to help you dry your hair and you helping him with his afterwards. something about it just seems so.. domestic to him. it’s a heartwarming comfort to him.
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torturedtypewritersdept · 2 months ago
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proclivity - part two - the punisher
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✯ pairing:
ex!bff!rafe cameron x diabetic!kook!fem!reader
✯ summary:
at one point in time rafe was your best friend. can summer romance erase all the damage he's done?
✯ [4.1k] warnings:
mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, heartbreak, diabetes lingo, injury, ghosting, fluff and fear, domestic violence (not rafe), mean!ex!jj etc.
✯ a/n:
nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity and i have rewritten + reshared it here :) trying out a new format with this post, hope you like it!
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You wake again, tangled in your pink satin sheets, legs slick with sweat from your incessant tossing and turning. The mattress is worn in. Well, for a kook it is. It was once pristine, you could’ve been compared to the princess and the pea now as it made slumber hard and your muscles ache. Though, you weren’t sure if you could blame it on the mattress or the sickness that lingered within your body. Your reality quickly crashes down around you and it looms like a sleep-paralysis demon in the corner of your room; lurking, waiting for the perfect time to pounce and grab you by the throat. You imagine that the pounce isn’t what’s the most terrifying part of it – no it’s the way it grabs your throat, the way you scream but there’s no sound, nothing will come out. That’s dramatic – the analogy, you know it is. But, you can’t stop yourself from wondering why in the fuck Rafe motherfucking Cameron was defending you against your ex-boyfriend a mere ten hours prior. You can’t stop yourself from wondering why after years of radio silence would Rafe have come to your defense. You can’t stop yourself from creating the comparison between the way the ache of his memory, his touch washes over you – chokes you the way demon does. You were an old friend, that had to be what it was – maybe the nostalgia got to him – yeah, that’s it. He doesn’t care, he hasn’t cared for a long time; maybe he never did at all. That’s the only option that makes sense. You quickly throw your blankets off of you as your phone chimes. You find yourself hoping it's Rafe, which is odd, you haven’t hoped that in years. The sting of his absence has truly never ceased the way you had originally hoped that it would. You swallow the disappointment feverishly as you realize it's one of your other favorite Cameron’s – Sarah Elizabeth. She is the only one of the pogues that you are still currently speaking to because she swears up and down that she didn’t know about JJ’s indiscretions. She’s also more kook than pogue and you’re sure maybe she always will be. You trust her – you have to – she’s never lied to you in thirteen years, not that you’re aware of anyway. She’s been begging you to come hangout for weeks and you had to bluntly tell her that if any of the pogues were invited you would not be joining, under any circumstances whatsoever. You look at your messages finally as you force yourself to turn your thoughts off. 
sarah elizabeth: can you please do me a favor? 
You reply, sarcasm oozing from every letter typed out. 
does the great sarah cameron need me? What for?? 
You wait, the three bubbles popping up quickly, bobbing up and down as she thinks of a way to frame the favor you need her for. You smirk as her reply comes through. 
sarah elizabeth: don’t be a dickhead. c’mon, pretty please?? 
You quickly type back. 
depends what it is, princess. 
Your tone is cheeky, yet playful. This – she can work with. That’s what she thinks as she presses send again. 
sarah elizabeth: be my plus one on The Druthers today. No pogues. No rafe. Pretty please. 
You roll your eyes, but quickly agree. You know you can’t keep her waiting forever. 
pick me up in five. You owe me btw. 
Your feet strut down the dock loudly, padding after Sarah. She’s evergreen – she always has been, though you don’t know evergreen is the right use of wordage. She’s lively and bright like golden hour at the beach or the cotton candy skies you love to see above the water in the summer. She’s bold and audacious and you love her more than anyone. She turns from her jog, looking back at you as she giggles. She reaches back to you, grabbing your hand and you run with her for a moment. She looks back again, eyes full of love. The moment ends abruptly as she rushes into none other than her brother. You gasp – surprised. Sarah is too, her face quickly falls and she becomes angry as she hits his rock-hard abs with her tinier frame. If you were any more of a loser, you’d probably be drooling at the sight of him, tan-skin glistening in the sun. His abs are rock-hard, you notate on the invisible legal pad in your brain, a pen full of imaginary ink that is definitely leaking all over your hands. Even your imaginary self – the one in your brain – is a clutz around him. You internally groan. His jaw is set with annoyance as his sister rudely runs into him. However, the anger is quickly forgotten as he looks up and your eyes meet. Even from a good distance away, you are lost in the pool of his eyes. They are blue with hues of green and white in places; another reason why he is truly a sight for sore eyes. His demeanor instantly changes, he swallows thickly and Sarah brings the attention back to herself, like she always does. 
“What aren’t you going to say hi?”
She smirks, winking at him. 
“Uh, Yeah – hi, y/n. I’m sorry for the surprised face, I just didn’t know you’d be here.” 
You don’t say anything. Instead, opting for a simple head nod. 
“Everybody on!” 
Ward calls out, waving the three of you in. You walk ahead of Sarah, eager to get away from the both of them. 
“Be nice to her. I’ve been begging her to get out of the house for weeks, okay? Don’t ruin this. Just be nice and let her have a good day.” 
He sheepishly nodded his head. 
“Y-Yeah, okay. I promise not to be an asshole.” 
She smiles up at him in return. She knows he’s worked hard over the last eight months and he is a better man than before. So leans up and kisses him on the cheek. 
“I know, buddy.” 
Sarah asking you out for a day on The Druthers wasn’t completely unorthodox. You’d spent many summers where the only thing the two of you cared about was soaking in sun and letting the ocean’s salty kiss envelope you. There wasn’t anything wrong with that – especially if it was just going to be the two of you (no pogues). It’s currently the middle of June and you had a day off, so you thought, ‘Why not?’ There’s truly nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, even though you were surprised by the presence of Rafe and then John B showing up just as Ward was ready to set sail. The latter really fucking annoyed you, because well – Sarah had said no pogues and you were still feeling rather betrayed by all of them – John B included. You had agreed reluctantly to begin with and now – you were living in a nightmare; sandwiched between Rafe and Wheezie in 100 degree weather. If you could turn back time, if you could be someone else, someone with no history with him, with no longing for him to return to you like a phoenix, this would be your dream; his beefy arms pressed against yours.You weren’t sure why Sarah had even invited you now, because she was attached to John B’s hip and you could only watch in horror as they licked each other’s faces off right in front of everyone. Long forgotten was the ghost of who you’d met when you were seven, who she used to be; a princess in pigtails, and to think you considered her more kook than pogue just a few hours earlier. Rafe watched as you grimaced, looking on at them. He laughed, remembering your distaste for public affection, not just for Sarah and John B’s. You locked eyes with him and a grin made its way across your lips. It felt like you could look into his blue orbs forever. Forever was a strong word, since forever ended the second he looked away. This was all you got from him now, stolen glances and grins with no words to follow. It always left you wanting more. You immediately hated yourself for falling for his shit. You knew he didn’t mean it. It was so easy – falling back into it. 
You could feel the sweat pouring down your back right as Ward anchored the boat and decided it was time for a swim, so you got up, pulling your t-shirt off to reveal the gorgeous white one piece you had opted to wear so Rafe wouldn’t notice the scars on your stomach from your pump. You had taken the pump off and set a timer for one hour to remind yourself to put it back on after you were done swimming. Rafe still didn’t know about your illness and you wanted to keep it that way. He admired your body and the slender bathing suit that covered it, thinking about how in the world someone could be that beautiful. He looked on in awe as he watched you run and dive into the water and chuckled when the after effects of your splash came onto the boat to drench Sarah and John B. 
“Seriously?!” 
Sarah called out, shaking the water off of her like a wet dog. 
“Oops!”
You responded, sending Rafe into a fit of laughter. You swam for about 30 minutes before Rose and Ward called everybody for lunch below the cabin. 
“Y/N, come in. It’s time to eat.” 
Rafe called to you. You swam back to the boat, climbing up the ladder and Rafe dropped his hand down for you to grab, which you did, and he pulled you up. 
“You, you-uh look really pretty today.” 
He whispered. You couldn’t remember the last time you held his hand or felt the rough texture of the pads of his fingers wrapped around yours. It felt like ages. You almost fell for it again, but you quickly pulled your hand from his grasp; it felt like you had been scalded by a hot burner. 
“Don’t do that.” 
You bit out. 
“Do what?” 
He questioned puzzledly. 
“You know exactly what the fuck you’re doing!” 
You growled. 
“Just – just don’t, okay?” 
You replied, voice falling flat as the words cut through your core like a knife. You wanted to say yes, to say thank you, to say you too, but you knew how it ended. 
“Y/N, come join us!”
Ward spoke cheerily. 
“Just a sec, gonna sneak away to the bathroom.” 
You smiled in his direction and Rafe watched you intently, wondering how in the hell he was supposed to begin to fix anything when you so clearly wanted him dead. 
The next time you saw Rafe Cameron was at the boneyard, which you still loathed going to out of fear of running into JJ or any of the other Pogues. Things hadn’t ended well between the six of you, being that everyone knew about JJ and Kiara’s little Pogue affair and Sarah was the only one who had the decency to tell you the truth. You had cut ties with all of them. But, Sarah was still your friend and she begged you, for the second time, on this particular Friday to come out and enjoy yourself. So, you agreed. After an early morning shift at the island club, you spent time agonizing over what to wear in Sarah’s bedroom. Luckily, Rafe wasn’t home, and you decided on a pair of high waisted shorts and a crop top that went right above the waistline of your jean shorts. You adorned your neck with a rainbow colored beaded choker that Rafe had given you in the sixth grade, it was still your favorite necklace even though you knew you weren't his favorite girl anymore. 
You had mostly stayed away from the Boneyard since Rafe had relinquished his best friend duties, partly because of him, but mostly because the week after you and Rafe called it quits you got really really sick, had a seizure, and found out you had type one diabetes. You were angry with Rafe after that because you really, really needed your best friend. Had it not been for Topper and Sarah, you would’ve had to walk through it completely alone and you didn’t wish that on your worst enemy. 
As you and Sarah made your way on to the beach, she immediately locked eyes with John B and quickly disappeared. Fuck John B and his honey-colored eyes and the way they had a hold on her. You knew this was going to happen and you don’t know why you had convinced yourself any differently. You sighed heavily and made your way over to the Keg which was being run by Topper. 
“Hey, Top.”
You smiled kindly at him. 
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” 
He questioned, confusedly. He knew this hadn’t been your scene for a long time now. Though, that didn’t mean that he was unhappy to see you. 
“Sarah dragged me out of the house. Where are the other two stooges?” 
You questioned with a laugh.
“Around here somewhere, I think Rafe is upstairs with a girl or something.” 
He spoke without thinking and sighed when he watched your face fall. 
“Shit, Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want to hear that shit.” 
He regretted his words immediately, knowing the hold Rafe had over you.
“It’s okay, Top. You don’t have to protect me from who he is.” 
He nodded slowly. 
“Just make sure I don’t leave him another embarrassing voicemail at the end of the night, okay?” 
You meant it as a joke, really. But, Topper did not think it was funny at all. 
“Wait, you’re not drinking are you?” 
His brow furrowed in confusion, knowing that any alcohol you ingested would drop your sugar levels significantly. 
“Don’t worry, dad. I’m only going to have one or two.” 
You replied, sarcasm on your tongue. 
“Please, no more than that. You remember last time?”
He asked bluntly. 
“Yeah, Top. I remember.” 
How could you forget?
You sighed for what felt like the fiftieth time and watched as Topper poured the beer into the red solo cup in his hand. The ‘last time’ Top was referring to was the night you had left Rafe the embarrassingly honest voicemail about how much you missed him. A voicemail he never returned. You had a seizure the following day, blowing off steam at the gold course with Topper and of course, Topper was there to pick up the pieces, like he always was. But, you wished it was Rafe. 
“Here, stay close by. Please.” 
He pleaded, handing you the cup of beer.
“I’ll keep you company until he shows back up.” 
You joked, sending him a wink and nudging his elbow with yours. After a few minutes of catching Top up on the highs and lows of your current life events, you caught Rafe out of the corner of your eye, making his way down to where you and Topper were with Kelce right behind him. 
“Well, well, well, Y/N, to what do we owe the pleasure?” 
Kelce spoke in a jokingly sexy voice. He had always flirted with you and it had always pissed Rafe off, though you never understood why. Kelce was harmless and revolting; way too much of a ladies man for your pleasure. 
“Yeah, what are you doing here?”
His tone came out gruff and mean, and your eyes went to your feet again, as you recognized the voice of your ex-boyfriend. You slowly turned your head to see Kiara with her arm wrapped around JJ’s bicep, a snarl ever present on her face. Rafe watched your eyes intently, the sadness and anger that lingered in them sent him into protective mode once again. 
“I-I don’t know.” 
You stammered. 
“What are you gonna drink yourself to death over him?” 
Kiara interjected, pointing to your drink, her voice sinister, as she mocked you and your health condition. 
Rafe looked on in confusion, wondering what it was that she was referring to - the break up or something more? It felt like he was missing a key piece of information. The Y/N that he knew didn’t have a problem downing any drinks. Topper was quick to jump in and diffuse the situation before your life’s biggest secret was revealed in front of the one person you didn’t want to know. 
“Okay, that’s enough.” 
Topper warned, a growl on his lips.
“No, it’s not. She has diabetes, I mean Jesus Christ, you guys gonna let her get killed just because she’s sad?” 
JJ asked incredulously. If you were a bystander, you might think he gave a shit about you, but you know he doesn’t. He’s telling Rafe that you’re sick. He’s doing it to be a cunt, because he knows you’ve kept it from him since finding out. 
“You’re a cunt, JJ.” 
You retorted, aggresively. 
“Woah – big words for a big ol’ girl, huh?” 
He piped up, hinting toward your weight which was one of your biggest insecurities since being diagnosed. 
“What the fuck did you just say?” 
Rafe spoke up, growling in JJ’s direction before grabbing the collar of his shirt pushing him into the sand. 
“What’s with defending her honor, Rafe? I mean twice in a week, you wouldn’t want people to get the wrong idea, now would you?” 
JJ’s words are slimy – you wonder how you ever loved him as he resembles lord voldemort to you now. 
“And what idea would that be, Maybank?” 
He spits out in feverish anger. 
“I don’t know – that you give a shit about her?” 
He questions sarcastically. 
“That’s not the wrong idea – it’s the truth.” 
Suddenly, you can’t take it anymore. You don’t want to hear it from either one of these assholes. So you run away – as fast as you can. 
When Rafe had made it back to the party, after beating JJ into oblivion – his favorite activity this week, his eyes frantically searching for your slender form, Topper informed him you went off by yourself toward the water. He made his way down to where he thought you’d be and there you were, sitting on a piece of driftwood, your knees tucked into your body and your arms wrapped around them. It was almost as if you were giving yourself a hug. Rafe smiled at the sight. 
“Y/N.”
He called out.
“Oh, what, Rafe?”
You replied, questioning in your voice, wondering what the hell he was doing even talking to you. 
“Why’d you leave the party?”
He asked, innocently, even though he already knew the answer because he knew you like the back of his hand. 
“I’m just embarrassed – why do you care so much all the sudden, huh?” 
You chuckled angrily, trying to keep it as civil as possible so Rafe wouldn’t make fun of you for it later with a group of guys on the golf course. 
“You don’t have to be embarrassed that Maybank is a dick. He didn’t deserve you anyway.”
“Yeah and what – you think you do? Cause from where I’m sitting, that’s not the case.” 
You growled. He was taken aback at first, but slowly began to nod his head with tears in his eyes. Although you weren’t friends anymore, you constantly analyzed his features, knowing what each grimace or grin meant. You hadn’t meant to make him sad, that wasn’t the point. 
“Do you not want me to talk to you?”
His voice grew quiet and feeble. 
“Rafe, I’ve wanted you to say anything to me for the last two years that wasn’t an insult or cutting me down. I mean we were best friends for god sakes and y-you just left me behind.” 
The tears clouded your vision, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting them fall. Unbeknownst to you, Rafe was crying, hot tears leaked out of his eyes and fell onto his cheeks and before you could look up at him, he pulled you in. You fought the hug at first, but it just felt so good and warm and right. Eventually, you melted into his touch, resting your head on his chest. You hadn’t had one of these hugs in so long, it almost felt like it wasn’t real. These hugs, his hugs, could cure disease, they could put all your broken parts back together. Fuck JJ Maybank, this is Rafe Goddamn Cameron and you are so Goddamn thankful. 
“What’s that?”
Rafe motioned to the bulge sticking out from under your shirt as he pulled away from the hug the two of you shared. You looked up at his piercing blue eyes and decided enough was enough and this moment with him shouldn’t be wasted. It’s time to tell him the truth.
“It’s an insulin pump.” 
You mutter.
“Why do you need an insulin pump? You have diabetes, he wasn’t lying?”
Rafe looked confused, you had been friends for so long and he had never noticed it before. 
“I-I have diabetes, type 1. He wasn’t lying.” 
You reply.
“What? Since when?” 
He looked bewildered, like he didn’t know what to think or say.
“Since freshman year.” 
Your voice is small as you tell him your reality of the last two years. 
“Is that why you stopped showing up to parties?”
He asks, earnestly. You can't remember the last time you saw him look like that. 
“Uh, yeah, I mean you stopped talking to me and I didn’t have a reason to come around anymore. Plus, I can’t have a lot of alcohol. It just makes my sugar low, which makes me sick.” 
You replied, looking down at your feet, embarassed, fully expecting him to make a joke about it or say something awful. That was his prerogative. But he didn’t. He was concerned, scared, confused, even, as he asked you about your disability. 
“How did you find out?” 
He asks. 
“The week after you stopped talking to me I got really really sick and I had a seizure. Almost didn’t make it and that’s when they found it. Topper was the only person who knew.” 
You admitted. 
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t Topper tell me?!” 
He’s borderline hysteric as he realizes what he’s done, how he’d left you alone when you needed him the most. 
“I begged him not to. I knew if you found out you’d wanna talk and I wanted you to do that under your own pretenses not out of obligation.” 
Your words gut him and he knows he deserves far worse than this feels. 
“Can you let me back in? I mean – not now, or right away, but can you let me show i’ve changed, can you allow me to do that? Like old times.”
He questions, scared as he awaits your reply. 
“It’ll never be like old times again.” 
You reply bluntly. His Adam's apple bobs up and down and he knows you’re right, that you’re not saying this to hurt him – not you. You wouldn’t. You’re saying it because it’s the truth. 
“Understood.” 
He finally whispers. He rubs his palms against his knees, they are sweaty. It’s a sign – a tell before he goes into a full blown anxiety attack and you have to steer this conversation in another direction before he’s hyperventilating beside you – like old times. 
“Look, I’ll give this a shot – this friends bullshit, trial basis kind of vibes. If you prove me wrong and don’t end up being a piece of shit after all, we can extend our contract.” 
You reply with a half-witted smirk. 
“You mean that?” 
He asks hopefully. You almost yell at him again, but you don’t want to be cruel. 
“Sure. We can try. Meet me at our old spot tomorrow and we can try to figure this shit out. But, I’m gonna need some answers from you, Rafe. I mean it.” 
You reply sternly. He rises, helping you up to your feet again. 
“Can I hug you? O-Or walk you home, maybe? O-Or drive you, I have my truck – it’s here.” 
He struggles as he does his best to offer you support, that’s what friends are supposed to do. At Least that’s what he used to do for you. 
“Don’t push it okay? We’ll talk tomorrow.” 
You replied and for the first time in any length of time that he can remember, he’s left wanting more and not just more, he’s a guy that has plenty, plenty of everything. But, he’s lacking in you and the absence stings just as bad as the day he left. He hopes that you'll accept his reasoning, his need to become better for you. He hopes you won’t leave him in return. 
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taglist:
@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch
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ihopeiexplode · 4 months ago
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A/N: Hahahaha I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this I won't delete this
A/N: idk how to feel abt this one
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Boss!Sukuna Who: Was never fond of love. and never will be. well, unless it came to you of course
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"You seriously only dated 3 people in your whole lifetime??"
"I just answered your question. yes, i only dated 3 people, how many more times do i have to repeat myself?"
"Booo you are so boring..."
"Have you dated anyone and stayed with them after a month?"
"..."
"Exactly. get back to work"
"Gee your no fun"
He'd watch as you walked away from him with a pout on your face, when were you suddenly so interested in his love life?
"Sooo what's your type in a woman then?"
"Are you just gonna keep following me to ask stupid questions?"
"and plus. why do you care?"
"Welll Valentine's day is right around the corner and you said you never dated anyone before sooo being the good employee I am I'm making sure you have someone to spend the day with !!"
ah, that's why, he never cared for such a useless holiday seeing how his past history with his partners never worked out well the first one cheated, the second one used him, and the third one just straight-up cut contact with no reason whatsoever
maybe that's why he was never fond of the concept of love and never will be, it's a useless thing and all it's gonna do is just hold you back down so why bother.
and plus, with the current generation, he doubts true love even exists.
"Not interested."
"Awhhh cmon give it a try"
the moment a sound escaped from your mouth he immediately flicked your head
"ouch...."
yet despite him not telling you a single thing, you still hadn't given up,
"Nanamii hii !!"
"hm?"
"Sooo you've known sukuna for quite awhile sooo like..."
"hm, what about it?"
"do you know what his type is?"
"...."
the moment the room fell silent you'd look around noticing how everyone just stared at you dumbfoundedly
"wait your serious?..."
"yes...?"
".... how oblivious are you..."
"What is that supposed to mean"
"I'm sure you can figure it out..."
Since none was willing to answer you, you just brought matters into your own hands! i mean what better way to look into sukunas past lovers!! maybe it'll help you figure out his preferences,
but oh how wrong you turned out to be...
every woman, even guys... you showed him, he turned down every one of them. how are you supposed to help him find a date if he keeps turning down everyone!
You'd be on the rooftop leaning over a railing as you took a puff of your cigarette, eventually, you heard the door behind you open, and when you turned to look who it was, it was no other than sukuna
he stood next to you grabbing out his own pack of cigarettes as he snatched the lighter from your hand and lit his cigarette up while the two of you stared down at the city, admiring the bright lights as the two of you watched in silence
eventually, you decided to speak up,
"how come you keep turning down everyone I set you up with?"
"I told you, I have no interest in them, they don't fit my type"
"See that's the problem! how am I supposed to help if you won't tell me what your type is?"
"i already like someone, so no need"
"what."
"YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT SOONER"
"It's funny messing with you"
"I hate you"
"No, you dont,"
"Tch. whatever. but anyways, who do you even like?"
"You know them,"
"OH OH I KNOW THIS ONE"
with that, he just kept staring at you watching as you named everyone you knew, males included....?
by the time you were done, you were out of breath seeing how you said everything without breathing,
"Okay, so who is it?? I mentioned everyone I know"
"yeah but you didn't mention the person I like"
"I swear if the person you like is yourself..."
"want me to tell you?"
"PLEASE."
"There standing in front of me right now,"
"what? but I'm the one who's standing in front of you??"
"Exactly,"
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[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^
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yuyu1024 · 4 months ago
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Fake Dating
Pairings: Mingyu x Y/N
Genre/tags: non idol au, university couple
Warning: 🔞 fluff, suggestive but not purely smut, cursing, pet names, jealousy, mention of bullying but not extreme
~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 2.4k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: written this while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. Thats why it must be all over the place and does not make sense and feels a bit rushed... but yeah. 💀 im fine lol.
Anyways... busy days ahead.
Stay safe.
-----------------------------------------------------
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"Hold my hand..." he utters the second you jump out of his SUV's front passenger seat.
"What?" You grunt as you put your backpack on you.
"Just.... hold... my... hand..." he hiss through his teeth whilst smiling.
You roll your eyes, "Fine." And then intertwined your fingers with his.
"Next time... when I tell you to do something... just do it okay?" He says trying to sound sweet.
You got it now. His ex is probably within the perimeter of the parking lot that's why he asked you to hold his hand.
"Okay... I will listen next time..." you force a sweet smile and then tip toe to pinch him on his cheek as a gesture of trying to act like you find him cute but not really.
"Thank you."
You two are over acting everything but you know from outside perspective, it is believable. Coz you even got your friends fooled. None of them know that between you and Mingyu, everything is just fake. You are not actually dating. He just asked for your help.
Why you? You have no fucking idea.
"How long are we going to do this?" You ask as you two walk along the sidewalk.
"Until I get the reaction I need from her..."
"And what reaction is that?"
He snorts a proud and yet annoyingly laugh. "Beg."
"Beg?" You stop walking. "This thing will end when she begs for you to take her back?"
"Yeah."
You roll your eyes again and let go of his hand. "That is silly..."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Well... I know Selena." You sigh, "She was my schoolmate since highschool... and she never begs men. It's always the other way around."
"Wow. Don't look down at me like that! Am I not attractive enough to make her beg and regret she broke up with me?"
You scan him from head to toe. "You are not bad... I must say... you are the very first good looking guy I actually approve by looks....that Selena dated."
"Really?" He arches a brow.
"However.... given her history." You pull out your phone from your pocket. "Goodluck." You mumble as you go on and scroll over texts on your phone. "Plus... you using me... is a wrong move... I am not a competition or whatsoever for her."
"If that's what you think... why did you agree with me? Doing this?"
"I was... desperate... like you. I needed saving that day too... so..." you trail off, your eyes busy with your phone still.
Yeah. That day when Mingyu pulled you from the bleachers, you needed that save. You were getting bullied by the mean girls from your class. Well, just because you caught their eyes that day.
Anyways, that afternoon during Mingyu's practice, you were there being tormented by those girls. They were acting like they were your friends but they were pinching and pulling your hair just to make you feel uncomfortable. And then suddenly, Mingyu spots you from the distance.
He called you by your name, asks you about something about going home with him and then chatted about random stuff. You were so fucking confuse but you went with his acting. At first you thought he saw you getting bullied so he helped you. But them after the whole quick kdrama acting, he explained everything to you.
That's it.
"Hey..." Mingyu steals your phone from your hand. "Stop using your phone when we're talking... you know its rude if you are talking to someone and you are not even paying attention."
You try to take it back but you fail. He is taller than you. "I am listening... and answering.."
"No..." he locks your phone and puts it in his bag. "Why are you so addicted with your phone?"
"I'm not! I was just replying to someone..."
"Who?"
"None of your business... babe..." you stick your tongue out and dig your phone out of his gym bag. "Anyways... goodluck with practice... just message me if we need to do something or your giving me a ride home or not."
He frowns. "Of course, I will drive you home."
You smile. "Okay then... thank you. See you!" You wink and left
****
Days had passed. Nights had gone by so quick. It has been an hectic few weeks for you. With all of the reviewing you have been doing preparing for the exams, on top of trying to survive each classes. You are dead inside now basically.
"I'm so tired." You sigh as you lay your head on your book and unplug your phone from charging. "It has been four months already?" You mumble as you scroll over you calendar for your schedules and see the monthsary reminder that Mingyu had set for every 26th of the month. "We lasted this long...?"
You thought that this fake dating will be over after 3 weeks. 2 months tops if Mingyu wanted to be serious with the 'making selena jealous and beg' agenda. But four months? That's a record breaker. Well atleast to your judgement of him.
It's not that you are getting tired of this fake dating shit. It's just... emotionally draining you in somewhat way.
He makes your heart confuse every now and then. And you can't do anything about it. That big giant puppy is a good-looking, athletic and charming dude. His attitude in life and personality is not bad either. He is funny and smart too. So... he is a good dream boyfriend material.
It's not a shocker that Selena liked him. Nor the rest of his fanclub. Mingyu is....hot. And you are not blind nor heartless.
However since you know your place in this modern world, your level in the who's hot and who's not. You are NOT a good match for him. You are just existing now in his world because he have a mission. His ex. So.. catching feelings is not in your to do list.
Yeah you can always ask him to end the deal. He said it himself; that you have the freedom too. BUT, besides being the hot guy in your life. Mingyu had been a friend too...(which you lack in your life sadly) so you are not sure if you are willing to let go a decent friend if you end whatever relationship you have with him.
*buzz*
🐶: where are you?
💖: why?
🐶: wdym why? Don't tell me you forgot?
💖: forgot what?
💖: just tell me
💖: im busy.
It took three minutes before he replies again
🐶: my mother's party is tonight.
"Fuck!" You hiss as you scramble to get all your things in your bag
You got a few sshh and be quiet from the other students studying in the library.
"Sorry..." you mouth as you hurry your way out
🐶: just tell me where the fuck are you and im going to pick you up.
You were trying to reply as you run out of the building but then the sound of the pouring rain made you gasp.
"Shit!"
You are dumbfounded. You don't know what to do now. You have no umbrella and you need to get home and get dress for his mom's birthday party.
*phone buzzes*
"Where are you?" He says as soon as you answered the call
"Library building. Outside..." you exhale your frustration. You scan the whole empty space in front of you. No one is running. No human is in sight. "How can I go? I don't have any change of clothes with me... maybe... I can just--"
"Found you."
You look straight up and see his pick up truck.
He rolls down the window of the passenger seat. "Get in!" He yells
"Crap!" You put your phone in your leather bag and then raise your jacket on top of your head before running like crazy down the steps.
The moment you got in, he sees your legs, part of your skirt and shirt are wet, "I've been calling you..."
"Sorry... my phone died and I just charged it."
His forehead is wrinkled. He does not look like he is in the mood.
"Figured." He then opens the zip of your bag and takes your phone so he can plug it to his car. "Let's hurry home so we can both change..."
"But I don't have--" you pause as you see how drenched he is. "Why are you so soaked?" You take off your jacket and put it around him.
He chuckles. "Thanks?" He finds it funny that you give him your small as jacket to a big guy like him.
"Just take it... you're cold."
"So are you..." he says
"I'm fine." Then you scan the back seat of his car, checking if he have a spare shirt somewhere.
"What are you looking for?" He glances at you when he sees you reaching for something while he's driving. "Hey!" He holds on to you when you almost slipped.
"Got it!" You grunt. "I found you a--"
Your cheeks suddenly burns like hell. No, you did not randomly got sick or what. You're just caught off guard when you straighten up your position and felt... and saw that his hand is on your thigh.
Mingyu is fucking holding your thigh!
"Is that a shirt of mine?" He asks, his eyes is on the road.
"Uhmm..." you answer, "uhuh."
"How did you know I have clean a shirt back there?" He's still not moving his hand off you.
"Well..." you look outside the window to your side, pretending to not notice it. "I remembered you said you always bring extra... especially during practice."
He hums his answer. "You do listen when I talk..."
"Whatever."
You became silent and stiff. Even though eventually he removed his hand because he is driving. He needs his hands.
But the warmth that his hand left on your skin lingers. It burns. And it felt like your skin misses the touch.
*phone buzzes*
You bend over to unplug your phone and see who texted you. But then suddenly, Mingyu swerves his car to park giving you a whiplash and dropping your phone on the floor.
"What the fuck? Why are you so aggressive parking your--"
It was a blurr. You don't know what caused it nor what happened but Mingyu just parked his car, unbuckle his seatbelt and lunges at you. He, out of the blue, just started kissing you.
"Mingyu!" Your voice is small and weak. You're panting. "W-what the hell...?"
His eyes are just on you, scanning your face. Most particularly your bruised lips.
"I don't want you to reply to him anymore..." he says
"W-what?"
"I know your still texting your ex..." he cups your face with his one hand. "And I don't like it." He leans close again and kisses you more. Sucking your lower lip and tongue.
This is so fucking wrong but you can't get a grip of yourself to stop kissing back. It feels so fucking good. Your body was cold earlier but now, it's not.
"You are kissing me... because of that? You hate my ex?" You ask as your lips separates
"Don't be dumb. Of course that's not the only reason..." His hand slides back to your thights and it earned him a sensual reaction that made him smile in pure joy. "You know... I like it when you blush..." he says before going in for another kiss.
Everything that's happening is out og the blue. How did you both got in this situation? No clue. Does he like you? Is he just horny? What?
"W-wait..." your back is already leaning on the door whilst you still have your seatbelt on. "I don't think... this is right."
"Hmmm..."
"I think we should--"
Before finishing your sentence, Mingyu unbuckles your seatbelt and pushed your seat back so it lowers. You yelp as it goes down, flat.
"Move to the back." He orders
"What?" You look at him and the backseat.
"Crawl..."
"W-why?"
"Y/N... you know what I mean... go... please?"
You heart is beating fast. Its a mixed of excitement and fear of what if you guys get caught. Yes his car is tinted but...
He totally stops the car engine (to be safe) and then starts pulling his shirt off
"What are you doing?" You gasp
He smiles, "why are you asking questions that's already obvious?" He is big but he moved from the driver's seat to the backseat beside you.
"Well..." you hug your legs as you watch him move
"Don't tell me... you're a shy type person when it comes to fucking?" He is smirking.
"I'm... not....it's just..."
"Just what?" He ask while removing his bracelet and wrist watch
"Why are we doing this?" You question
He shrugs. "Because... I like you."
"You like me?" You are taken aback. "Seriously?" And then laugh. "You're funny..."
"Who said I'm joking?" He grabs both your ankles, spread your legs and place them on his side. He is hovering you now.
"But... selena..." you are breatheless as you see him basically on top of you now.
"The deal was only for a month...right?"
You nod
"It didn't worked. So... I moved on..."
"The fuck? So why do we still do this dating shit?"
"Because... I like you."
"What? I'm confused."
"Selena broke up with me... coz I started liking someone else..."
"What?! Who?"
Mingyu lowers down his face and starts kissing you on your neck, just below your ear. "Obviously... its you..."
He continues to nibble your neck until he felt your hips react with his touches.
"Your...y-your making this shit up... just to... just to fuck me..." you are moaning the words out now.
"If I just want to fuck you... I could just ask you right there and then in the field..." he explains "I'm sorry I made this fake dating shit up... but... I know you'll not try to date me if I didn't do it... I know you don't like me before... so..."
You just stare at him and try to absorb whatever he's saying
"Why.... why do you like me?"
"I don't know.. I just did..." he pushes the hair off your face. "I think you don't remember... but we've been to same classes a few times before... you were so quiet and always isolated that you don't notice me when I try to reach out..." he snorts a small smile. "I can explain the whole story in detail later if you want but..."
"But what?"
"I'm fucking horny right now... and I don't think I can wait anymore..."
Your eyes widens before laughing out loud. Mingyu is so real and does not deny what he needs.
"Okay then....." you try to stop laughing. "Let's do it quick before anyone sees us plus your mom is waiting..."
"Fuck yeah."
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yanderecrazysie · 6 months ago
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Rhododendron (Yandere Android! Oikawa and Iwaizumi)
Part 2 of the Flower Language Series
I got these meanings from the internet, so some may be wrong. Sorry if that is the case, but please ignore my mistakes.
Please do not request the Flower Language Series.
Title: Rhododendron
Pairings: Oikawa Tooru x Reader; Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, murder
Flower meaning: Danger, beware
Summary: There’s something off about your husband’s new androids.
“I know you don’t like me bringing home work, but this is going to blow your mind,” your husband said, one hand on your shoulders as he led you through the apartment to the living room, one hand over your eyes. 
You had a half-smile on your lips, “This has to do with your ‘top secret new project’, doesn’t it?” 
You came to a stop and he removed his hand from your eyes, saying, “You tell me.”
A gasp left your lips. In your doorway stood two tall, rather attractive men with their eyes closed. After a moment, something struck you as off about them, though you couldn’t put your finger on what it was. Maybe it was the way their skin shone under the fluorescent lights. Or maybe, the fact that their skin had no flaws whatsoever and their faces had perfect symmetry.
You spotted your husband’s company’s logo on their matching blue shirts and realization hit you.
“They’re- they’re robots, aren’t they?”
“Androids,” your husband was practically glowing, “I designed them myself. What do you think?”
“They look so real…” you left out the part where you found that to be very creepy.
“Just wait until they open their eyes,” your husband replied eagerly, misreading your hesitation, “The one on the left is called ‘Oikawa’. His model is designed for housekeeping and basic chores. The one on the right is ‘Iwaizumi’, and he’s kind of like an android guard dog.”
“And they’ll be… staying here?” you murmured, unsure of how you felt about their presence.
Your husband finally noticed that you were less than enthusiastic and began to squirm a little, “Well, yeah, just for a little while. They need to be tested so we can work out any bugs. They aren’t dangerous or anything, I promise.”
“And no one else can take them?” you asked in a small voice. You couldn’t help but shiver when you looked at them- something about them frightened you. Some part of you needed them gone.
The pained look on your husband’s face told you all you needed to know, and your heart sank. His voice was quiet when he spoke next, “I’m the lead designer on this project, so it’s required that I test them in a natural environment… I’m really sorry, honey.” 
You squared your shoulders and forced a smile to your face, “It’s fine. It’s totally fine.”
“It doesn’t sound fine.”
“Well, like you said, we don’t really have a choice,” you said, unable to keep the sourness out of your voice this time.
“I’ll turn them on,” your husband said softly, “Maybe you’ll warm up to them.”
“I hope so,” you sighed. You didn’t mean to be so unsupportive, but you had both agreed to keep your work at the office and, sometimes, it felt like only you held up your side of the promise. Not to mention, his “work” this time around was very unsettling.
“Oikawa, Iwaizumi, turn on,” your husband commanded.
Their eyes opened at the same time- one pair brown and playful, one pair green and serious. Both androids turned their attention to your husband instantly, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that they were somehow watching you at the same time.
“I’m adding another authorized user,” he continued. He pointed at you and the androids’ eyes snapped to look at you, making your stomach twist in displeasure, “This is my wife, (Y/n).”
Iwaizumi nodded and said, “Understood.” 
Oikawa, on the other hand, crossed the distance between you and held out his hand, a charming smile spreading across his face. You reluctantly let him take your hand in his and he lifted it to his lips. You shuddered at the coolness of his lips against the back of your hand. There was no warmth in his hands and lips. His “skin” was soft, but it lacked life.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sweetie” he said, his voice as sweet as honey.
You took your hand out of his and drew it against your chest. You couldn’t bring yourself to answer, so you merely nodded, a shiver crawling up your spine at his pleased smile.
You noticed the eager smile on your husband’s face and felt bad that you couldn’t match his enthusiasm. However, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the androids standing before you. Oikawa’s smile was unsettlingly perfect and Iwaizumi’s green eyes seemed to pierce through you. 
“Why don’t I show you what they can do?” your husband suggested excitedly, “Oikawa, clean please. Iwaizumi, check all the doors and windows please.”
“Yes, sir,” the androids said in unison. You watched as Oikawa began tidying up the kitchen, his movements as fluid as a human’s. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, began to check the house, locking the windows that you had forgotten about.
Your husband placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “See? They’re very helpful and you’ll barely notice they’re around.”
You highly doubted that you wouldn’t notice them, but you forced a smile, “I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”
—---------------------------------------------------------------
As the days passed, the androids seamlessly became a part of your household routine. Oikawa kept the house spotless, prepared meals, and engaged in small talk that was so eerily human-like that it unnerved you. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, rarely talked and guarded the front door and kept things locked up with military-like precision.
But the feeling of unease never stopped. Oikawa’s gaze always lingered on you for too long, and Iwaizumi seemed more interested in protecting you than your husband. You did your best to avoid being home when your husband was out.
One evening, you returned home from work to find the house unusually quiet. You were surprised that Oikawa was the one to let you in the house and lock the door behind you. It had always been Iwaizumi who did that.
“Good evening,” Oikawa said with a blindingly white-toothed smile, “How was your day, (Y/n)?”
“Good,” you replied, “Where’s Iwaizumi?”
“He’s outside, making sure everything is safe,” Oikawa said pleasantly, “What would you like for dinner?”
“I’m just going to rest, actually,” you said, “Is my husband home yet?”
“No, he is staying late at the office,” Oikawa replied.
That was odd, considering his big project was at the house and he was usually home early, working on the androids.
Oikawa’s head tilted, “You seem tense. Would you like a massage?”
You swallowed uneasily, “No thanks. I just want to rest. Alone.”
Oikawa nodded, but his intense gaze didn’t leave you as you hurried up the stairs and into your bedroom. You locked the door behind you, heart pounding. Something felt off, but you couldn’t figure out what it was.
Moments later, a knock sounded on the door. You froze, praying it wasn’t Oikawa. “Yes?” you called.
“It’s Iwaizumi,” the reply was muffled through the door, but his voice was steady, “I just wanted to let you know that you are safe now.”
“Thank you,” you said, feeling as though the words meant something deeper, “Good night.”
“Good night,” Iwaizumi replied. You listened for the sound of retreating footsteps down the stairs but the sound never came. He was still standing outside your door.
You pulled your phone out of your pocket and sent a text to your husband, asking when he’d be home. The wait for a response was excruciatingly long, but a reply finally came.
I’m still at the office, sweetie. Is everything okay?
You stared at the message for a full minute before you realized what it was that seemed off. He had never called you sweetie before. Suddenly, a memory resurfaced in your mind of Oikawa.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sweetie.”
As you stood there, trying to make sense of it all, the door handle turned slightly, as if someone was testing it to see if it was locked. You stopped breathing for a moment before shakily calling out, “Iwaizumi, what are you doing?”
There was a long pause before he answered, “Please do not be alarmed, (Y/n). I must ensure your safety.”
Gathering your courage, desperate for answers and plagued by unease, you opened the door. Iwazumi’s eyes widened at the sight of you as you demanded, “Where is my husband?”
Iwaizumi’s gaze didn’t leave you, “Your husband is at work, overseeing additional development.”
You frowned, “Iwaizumi has anything… changed in your programming recently?”
A flicker of something crossed Iwaizumi’s face, “Our job has always been to ensure your safety and happiness.”
“And what about my husband’s safety and happiness?”
Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed, “His safety is secondary to yours.”
A shiver shot down your spine and you quickly pushed past him, hurrying down the stairs. There was something you needed to know.
Oikawa was standing in the kitchen. Not cleaning or cooking, just standing there as though he were waiting for you to come down the stairs, a smile plastered on his face.
You headed for the door, ready to get in your car and get the hell out of your house and away from the androids, but Oikawa blocked your path.
“Out of my way!” you snapped.
“Where are you going?” Oikawa asked sweetly, “You aren’t safe out there, you know.”
“I need to talk to my husband, in person.”
Oikawa’s smile twisted into a victorious grin, “Why don’t you video call him right now?”
You shakily pulled out your phone, “Why a video call?”
“Then you’ll know we aren’t changing our voices to pretend to be him!” Oikawa said with a small chuckle. 
You weren’t even aware they could do something like that. At least he’s being honest. You reassured yourself.
You pressed the video call option on your husband’s contact page and waited. It took a moment for you to comprehend what was on the other side of the screen.
When you did, you screamed, mind branded forever with the sight of the remains of your husband.
Behind you, Oikawa began to laugh.
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Note
So... twst anime—
I feel I should be much more excited than I actually am. Don't get me wrong- I am excited ( for Leona animated content ) to see how they'll handle some things- but apart from the worries you listed, I just... I know this sounds a little gatekeepy but an anime will mean more ppl will know and talk about the story and I fear that they won't go into the game/other content and thus have a limited opinion on characters/events and misunderstand them. Basically I fear that characters will be even more mischaracterized than they already ( sometimes ) are by the current fandom 😭 ( specially Leona- gunshots )
[Referencing this post!]
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I feel like there's for sure been mixed reactions to the recent anime news. The general consensus is excitement, but occasionally I've also seen skepticism or worries that the anime won't be as good as the long period since the initial announcement would have had us believe. That's to be expected; we won't know the quality of the anime until we watch it ourselves.
Mmm, there's that age-old sentiment again 😅 The thought of, "More people will be exposed to Twst because of this; I'm worried they will misunderstand the story/characters." It always seems to make a comeback whenever a new major piece of Twst media is announced... It happened when the official EN localization was announced too. People were jumping to conclusions and worrying that the influx of "EN-only" folks and/or a sub-par localization would lead to newer fans not seeing the story and characters the same way as the JP side did. I'll repeat what I said back then (as I think the same logic applies), along with a few additional points/expansions, as are relevant:
As you've said, mischaracterization happens, even now. This is normal in fandom, and it doesn't necessarily make fandom a "bad" space. Variation in thought is a normal human thing in general and I don't think it should be discouraged. If everyone thought the exact same way, life would be boring and we would have a limited number of ideas circulating.
This thinking sort of presupposes that the Twst fandom is currently without issues (or has few of them) and that it is the growth of the fandom that will cause problems. From experience, I can tell you that fandoms always have their toxic pockets. Fandoms growing larger just exposes more of those pockets because, statistically speaking, with more bodies present, there's a higher chance something will come to light, be it a personal squabble, a cultural difference, actually serious allegations, etc. It's a natural part of a fandom's lifecycle.
How other people interpret the story/characters should have limited or no bearing whatsoever on your own enjoyment. It does not erase your own views on the story/characters either. If you find that your concerns about others are becoming overwhelming, I'd encourage you to take a step back and think about what in this fandom makes you happy.
I feel that the mentality I mentioned earlier stems from an "us versus them" mindset. We're viewing current Twsties as the "in" group and everyone else as the "out" group... when, really, I think it might be healthier to perceive the "out" group as potential Twsties. Like... instead of fearing them as strangers coming in to "taint" the fandom, let's try to think of them as "friends we haven't met yet". After all, these anime-first or anime-only Twsties could end up being your next buddy, someone cool you meet at an event, a Twst content creator you enjoy, etc. Try to reframe your thinking!
Lastly!! We have no idea how the anime will go. They might not make it solely the main story just because it’s a manga adaptation. The team might have weaved in vignettes/event stories or bonus content exclusive to the anime which helps flesh out the characters.
I think that about wraps up my thoughts. I hope that helps alleviate some of your concerns. Hang tight, keep an open mind, and pray that the L*ona content in the anime is good 🤡
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perksofbeingpoet · 6 months ago
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☆ WHAT THE POETS' HOBBIES WOULD BE (IF THEY HAD NORMAL LIVES AND FREE TIME) ☆
MEEKS: something tells me meeks would be really into rollerblading or skating? idk i can really picture him as a skater boy, and i can see pittsie coming with him to try it out! meeks would be very chill about it, not trying to learn the coolest tricks or something, BUT he'd totally bring his skateboard everywhere and the poets would tease him about it like oh hey mr cool, do you skateboard? that's so cool i'm SWOONING, good that you brought it to the theatre in case there's a skateboarding emergency
PITTS: photography/videography. if he lived today, pittsie would totally be a youtuber, but i can see him always taking pictures or even "vlogging" in the canon era, too! he just enjoys capturing these memories, and at the end of every year, he'd do a sort of "best of this year" with the poets- i also see him as a big plant dad, not sure if he'd do it in the 60s though? but i can picture pittsie having several little succulents. oh and baking/cooking!! meeks always snacks on his stuff before it's ready and it drives pittsie insane
TODD: i know everyone's convinced todd would be into crocheting, but i honestly don't really see it? no hate whatsoever, i get where people get the idea but to be honest i think crocheting would make todd frustrated/anxious. this boy needs movement, something to do so his mind shuts up, and i think that's swimming. i honestly think todd would be a really dedicated swimmer, maybe to the point where it gets a bit unhealthy because he just throws himself into it to turn his thoughts off?
CHARLIE: yes this one is kinda obvious but charlie would totally pursue music if he had the time and means- he seems so passionate when he plays the saxophone, it's one of the few scenes where we get to see him not joking around, dismissing things with a quip and smirk, but earnestly enjoying something. charlie wouldn't only play, I totally picture him going to jazz clubs and loving to dance there and chat up girls. oh he'd also play video games as soon as they're available!
KNOX: i've mentioned this before but knox would 2000% learn how to play the guitar, and then proceed to play it at dps meetings and with chris. i know it sounds super douchy but honestly, i think knox wouldn't even notice that it comes off as annoying sometimes? he just really enjoys playing the guitar and wants to share that with others. also seems like someone who'd love running, i can see him being one of those people who go on 1 hour jogs in the morning :') Oh and drawing! But he'd be quite shy about it.
NEIL: this is so hard for some reason? 😭 i mean obviously he'd act, and probably go to the theatre quite often on top of that- i also think neil would like cycling, but other than that it's pretty difficult for me to think of what his hobbies would be- i kinda see him as just hanging out with friends a lot and going to parks etc. to chill when he's not at rehearsal. feel free to share your ideas if you have some!
CAMERON: dancing. he's SO ashamed of it and only does it in the comfort of his own room, but if cameron could do anything he wanted, i think he'd do ballet? HELP GUYS I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I FEEL SO SURE ABOUT THIS, CAMERON IS PRETTY MUCH BILLY ELLIOT IN MY MIND BUT HE NEVER GETS TO PURSUE BALLET/DANCING COS HE LIVES IN A TIME AND SOCIETY THAT DOESN'T ALLOW THAT?? WHY IS THIS SO CANON TO ME???? also crosswords.
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poeghoul · 1 year ago
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hard times iii.
in which they're far too drawn to each other.
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word count: 7,852 warnings: mentions of drug usage and abuse, unwanted advances, angst, possessiveness authors note: not proofread. only a few parts left to this series </3 im far too attached to them.
masterlist
part one part two
Y/n made her way out of the diner, the new waiter, Ross, following close behind her. “It’s not too bad, I promise. You’ll get the hang of it soon,” she turned to face him, smiling to try and relieve his anxiety. The poor boy had spilled orange juice all over his black sweater, the thick fabric sticking to his chest, and still slightly damp. “Plus you’ll be taking the night shift and barely anyone comes in.”
He exhaled through his mouth, raising his eyebrows at her, “so that means shit tips, huh?” he joked at her. She pulled her lips into her mouth, hesitant to answer, and when she went to challenge his assumption, he cut her off. “Fuck, really? Shit, I’m fucked,” running a hand through his hair, he shook his head. She pursed her lips at him.
“It’s not awful, I swear. And you’re new, so,” she trailed off, not entirely knowing what to say to the blue eyed boy. “They always start the newbies off at night,” the end of her sentence sounded more like a question, and he just smirked at her and tilted his head to the side. 
“You’re shit at making people feel better, you know that?” he grinned at her, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth, shaking his head at her. She grinned at him, exhaling a laugh through her nose. “Ya need a ride or anything?”
“Mm, no I have a ride already, thank you though,” she gestured to the man standing next to the black SUV behind her. A ‘shit’ coming from the boy in front of her. “Yeah,” she pursed her lips. Ever since the first night Jax had picked her up, everyone who worked at the diner bombarded her with a million questions anytime the ‘mystery’ man stood in front of the building; how’d you score that, who is he, how do you know him, etc. 
“No offense, but how the fuck are you able to drive that? Or have someone drive you in that,” he stared at her, a befuddled look graced his face. 
She tucked her bottom lip in between her teeth for a second, his gaze switching from her eyes to her lips and back once the flesh was released, “um, a friend of mine kinda owes me a favor and this is how he’s paying me back,” she shrugged, her right arm coming up to rub her left, an anxious habit.
A humorless laugh escaped him, “I will never ask for a favor if this is what you’re expecting in return,” he gestured to the car. “I’ll see you in the morning, y/n,” he patted her shoulder before running his hand down her arm, barely even touching the jacket covered skin, and grazed her hand for a moment longer than he should’ve. She blushed from the action, taking in a sharp breath before nodding and bidding him goodbye. 
They parted ways; Ross walking to a beat up ‘99 Honda Civic hatchback, and y/n to her (Harry’s) personal chauffeur’s car. She sent a smile to Jax before wrapping her arms around his torso, squishing her face into his chest (he was significantly taller than her, but not as tall as Harry). 
“Hey, sweetpea,” he greeted her, she felt the vibrations rumble through his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, a hand coming up to caress the back of her head and a gentle kiss was placed on the crown of her head. “Wanna tell me who that was?” he pulled back to wink at her, she just rolled her eyes unwrapping her arms and crossing them over her chest and he opened the door for her, 
“That was Ross, he’s the new waiter I told you about. Not very good though,” she stepped up into the backseat and sat her bag down on the seat next to her. A few weeks ago, she’d be getting in the backseat hoping Harry would greet her with an apology or an explanation. Now, she’d be surprised to even smell Harry’s lingering cologne. He’s been avoiding her since the last time he came to her apartment. No calls, no texts, no interactions whatsoever. 
Jax laughed, closing the door before running around the back of the car and hopping in the front seat. His eyes met hers in the rearview mirror, “that bad, huh?” Her eyes widened and she nodded, her mouth agape. 
“I’ve never met anyone that uncoordinated, I swear. He’s great with the customers, he really is, he just can’t balance a tray to save his life,” she sighed, “Dan put a lot of faith in me, too, which makes it worse. Like, I can’t just magically make someone a great waiter, especially if this is their first waiting job.”
“That’s rough, sweetpea, I’m sorry.” 
“Is it bad I don’t think he’ll last long?” sympathy laced her tone. 
“Not at all, and from the sounds of it, that seems likely,” he shrugged one shoulder and started the car. Pushing the parking brake down, he shifted into reverse before pulling out of the parking lot and on to the main street leading to her studio. 
“Yeah,” she pulled her lips into her mouth, looking out the window. She had switched to the morning shift, paranoia suffocating her every night making her shifts much harder to get through without choking on her anxiety. And because no one else was willing to take the night shift, they had to hire another waiter. And apparently, for god knows why, they just had to hire one with no experience. And just had to make y/n train him. A form of punishment, she’s sure. “How was your day?” she looked back to him, eyes trained on his side profile. 
“Mm, fine. Uneventful as normal. Just waited around for,” he met her eyes in the rearview, “Mr. Styles,” she looked down at her hands, picking at her over bitten cuticles, dried blood staining her nail beds. “He had another meeting with Mr. Horan,” she nodded slowly. Niall hadn’t even come into the diner. They both had disappeared. 
The drive was short, it always was. Soon enough, she was thanking him, like usual, and running up the stairs to her apartment. Unlocking the door, she could hear the bells she had attached to the door handle on the inside sing loudly. It was annoying, but with where her mind had been the past month, she deemed it necessary. Kicking her shoes off, she plopped on her chair, rolling her neck from side to side trying to alleviate the tension. 
After her third morning shift, she had started to regret asking to be taken off nights, she had no clue what to do in the middle of the afternoon. When she’d get off around ten, she would come home and get ready for bed and watch a show or scroll through tiktok until she’d be half asleep with the phone slipping from her grasp. It was a routine she’d been used to for about eight months, but developing new routines and sticking to them was not her strong suit. 
Getting off this early highlighted how alone she felt. It got dark around 4:30 and winter was creeping in. Her seasonal depression started to settle in, making a home in the cavity of her chest. 
+++
Harry sat across from Niall in his home office, sitting back in his expensive Italian leather chair with his leg crossed over his knee. He rarely ever hosted meetings in his home, never trusting anyone enough to invite them in, but Niall was entirely different. He managed to snake his way into Harry’s life; calling and texting him at all hours of the day, inviting him to attend church with his wife and two daughters or out to play a game of golf. Harry was suspicious about the amount of communication and invitations, but learned that Niall was one of the friendliest men he’d ever come across, and eventually accepted an invitation to a game of golf. That was entirely a bad idea, however, since Niall was practically glued to Harry’s side ever since. 
He had even told him about what happened with y/n, to which Niall prompted him to just come clean to her about how he felt. But of course, it wasn’t that simple. If it was, Harry would’ve done that the moment he saw his sweet girl shed a tear. They never spoke about it after Harry yelled at Niall to stop meddling. 
“Who do you think did it?” Harry asked the blue eyed brunette, referring to a shootout that happened at a Motel 6 twentyseven miles from where they were meeting. Motel 6’s were notorious for drug dealings, though Harry never dared to step foot near one. 
Niall shrugged, “could’ve been anyone, really. But I’m sure it had something to do with Justus. He’s always down there, creepin’ around,” a scowl graced his gentle face. 
Harry brought his fingers to rest on his mouth, tapping a finger on the skin above his lip and raising an eyebrow at the man's theory, “Hm, Justus, aye?” Niall nodded. “ ‘S a possibility, he loves his motels. Who else could’ve been down there, though? Couldn’t have just been a deal gone wrong, he had to have stepped on someone’s toes.”
“Well, it-” Niall cut himself off, perking up as he put the pieces together in his head, “Payne. It was fucking Payne, god that prickhead.”
“Niall, that name holds no significance with me, who is that?” 
“Liam Payne,” Niall answered, leaning forward, “terrible prices, terrible stock, always lacing whatever he’s able to get his hands on to sell for less,” Harry scoffed, shaking his head. “Laced a batch of coke with fent and killed twelve people but of course, being who he is, no one ever ratted him out. Hells gonna swallow him whole rightfully so.”
“Hm,” Harry hummed out, “let’s hope he makes his way up here,” a grin took over his features. Niall stared at him in confusion. 
“Why’s that? Don’t want him anywhere near me, if ‘m bein honest.”
“Well, you won’t have to deal with him. I’ll happily take care of him.” 
Niall gulped, “I don’t know Harry, he’s shitty but,” he paused, trying to think of the right phrasing, “powerful. Very powerful.”
Harry’s grin widened, the skin around his eyes wrinkling, “and I’m not?” he retorted. Niall shook his head, chuckling, knowing where Harry was headed. “Like I said, I’ll happily take care of him.”
“Devious bastard.”
Niall and Harry said their goodbyes, one of Harry’s men walking him out. Harry sat in his office, alone again. He sat back in his chair, messing with the H and S rings on his left hand, his mind wandering to his little lamb, whom he hadn’t seen in far too long. He wondered if she thought of him, wondered if her thumb ever hovered over the call button under his name in her contacts like he had done with her. She consumed his thoughts daily. He’d ask Jax about how her day went and why she switched to the morning shift, to which Jax couldn’t answer truthfully as he didn’t even know. 
Papers scattered the desk in front of him, numbers, dollar signs and crossed out names on nearly every page. The amount of clutter on the desk made him restless, unable to think straight, but he couldn’t bring himself to organize it in any way. He’d begin to put things away but would quickly get overwhelmed with the amount of shit he had to file away. So, he just stared at the piles, his mind occupied by the girl he didn’t get a chance to know, by his own fault. 
He reached into his jacket pocket, reading the time, 4:37 pm, and his notifications, looking for one in particular. 
Jax D.
She’s home safe, area secured.
A small smile graced his lips, happy she was home safe and unharmed. He wished she would’ve told him instead, however. Wishing to hear the words fall from her pretty pink lips. He tapped at the screen to respond. 
Harry:
Good. Thank you. 
He set his phone down, his heart aching in his chest, missing his sweet little lamb. 
+++
“What are you doing tonight?” Ross asked y/n as she unlocked the front doors for the pair, she looked at him over her shoulder as she pulled the door open.
“Mm, probably nothing, I work tomorrow morning so I don’t really wanna do much,” she let him walk in before her, following him inside before locking the door behind them. “Why, what’s up?” she quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Just curious, damn,” he held his hands up in surrender, she rolled her eyes and laughed at him. 
“Well, why are you curious?” The two made their way into the back room, setting their stuff in their designated lockers. She sat down on the bench, retying the shoelace that had come undone. He sat in front of her, legs on either side of the bench. 
“Well, I was gonna see if you wanted to do something cause I’m off tomorrow and I assumed you were too so,” he shrugged, staring at her as she sat across from him.
She looked up at him, mouth slightly agape. “Oh,” she nodded slowly. “What were you thinking?”
“What?”
She rolled her eyes at him, “what did you wanna do?”
“Oh, I’m dumb, I thought you meant, like, what are you thinking,” he said in a scolding tone, she laughed. “But whatever you wanna do, we can see a movie or something.”
She nodded her head slowly, contemplating the idea. It wouldn’t be bad, she could get a blue and red icee, but she didn’t want to give up her daily alone time (with working in the service industry, she looked forward to that very much needed time). But with how melancholy she’d been feeling lately, the alone time became very depressing after an hour. 
“I’m down,” she smiled at him, a dimple cutting into her cheek. “What do you wanna see? The new Priscilla movie is out, I really wanna see that but we don’t have to watch that if you don’t want to,” she rambled. 
“That’s Elvis’ wife right?” She nodded, “I love Elvis,” she cringed. She had a deep hatred for him and his stupid voice and stupid hair. She vowed to never step foot in Vegas because of him. “Let’s do it. Check the times, do you wanna go after work so you’re not staying out too late?” 
“Oh yeah that’s actually perfect.”
He grinned back at her, “perfect. It’s a date.”
He got up before she had the chance to correct him; it was absolutely not a date. 
+++
Harry sat on the edge of his bed, buttoning up a crisp white shirt. He had returned home from his morning jog and worked out for a little over two hours before getting in the shower and readying himself for the day. No meetings planned, which he was thankful for. He just had to foresee a shipment coming in from Arizona, some of the finest coke he had ever seen was set to come in today and he didn’t trust anyone enough to not tamper with the sweet white powder. Jax, Daniel and Lee met him in the hallway, ready to take him to the warehouse, while the rest of his men were already on their way. 
“Morning, Mr. Styles,” one of the burly men greeted him, Harry didn’t bother to respond to the greeting, instead looking to Jax to inquire about his angel. 
“She was dropped off at 5:45 this morning, I watched her go inside with the new waiter. She texted me she doesn’t need a ride home but I’ll still check the area out when she’s set to be off,” Harry’s neck almost snapped with the way he turned so quickly.
“What? Did she say why she doesn’t need a ride home?”
Jax shook his head, “She didn’t, sir.”
“Show me the texts,” he stopped in his tracks, his hand reaching out, waiting for the phone to be placed in his palm. Jax hesitated. Harry narrowed his eyes at him becoming impatient. “Show me the texts, now.” Jax reached into his jacket pocket to pull out his phone and tapped on the screen before handing it over to Harry. 
Y/n 🐇☁️
Ross said he can give me a ride today:) love u see u in the morning
Harry reread the message four times over, his heart caught in his throat. He turned the screen off and gave the phone back to Jax, turning on his heel to walk out to the car. He settled in the backseat, Lee next to him, while Jax and Daniel sat in the front. 
He sat staring out the window, the car not even moving yet. His breathing rapid, his heartbeat similar to one of a rabbit getting caught in the grip of a hawk. 
He broke the uncomfortable silence, “Is Ross the new waiter?” Jax nodded, nonverbal. “He seems interested in her?” Again, the man nodded, not daring to say anything more thinking it would just piss him off further. But Harry wasn’t angry, he was more hurt than anything. He knew he had no right to be upset in any way, afterall he walked out on her, but it still didn’t sit well with him. “What time is she set to be off today?” He turned, looking at the man in the passenger seat. 
“Scheduled off at 2:30, but depends on if she’s finished with her tables. She's still training the new waiter so it could be longer than that. She said he’s not very good,” Jax threw the last bit in there to appease Harry. It worked. 
“You’ll switch cars for the day, you can take the beemer, I want to see her make it home safe.”
“Yes, Mr. Styles.”
+++
Y/n and Ross made their way out of the diner, headed to his beat up little car (he swore it was the coolest “ride” and that the ladies “loved” it). He would take y/n home so she could change and lend him one of her oversized shirts, offering him that after they made the plan to go right after work thinking he’d be uncomfortable in a food stained sweater. He declined the offer at first but after he spilled a copious amount of coffee and syrup on him, he asked if it was still on the table.
Harry and Jax sat in the heavily tinted Beemer watching the pair as they walked out of the double doors and into the piece of shit, as Harry put it. He was fuming, his foot tapping against the carpeted mats of the car as he clenched his jaw, Jax thought he was closing to breaking a few teeth or the mandible all together. The two men followed them as they made their way to y/n’s. 
Harry hadn’t been in this area in a week's time; he had been following Jax in that very car, watching to make sure she was actually making it safe to her little home.
He watched as he parked his car on the street, and watched as they walked up the stairs and stood at the door for him to unlock it. That made him even more angry, how was she so comfortable with a man she barely knew to allow him in her apartment? 
The chiming of bells rang through her apartment as she pushed open the door. 
“Bells?”
She nodded, “I’m a girl living alone, kinda a necessity,” she shrugged, setting her keys down. “Thirsty?” He shook his head. 
“Ya know something’s really gotta be done about that.” She looked at him, a confounded look on her face. 
“What?”
“Like women are scared to live alone, that’s, like, really shitty. And pads and tampons should be free.” She stared at him, her head cocked to the side before shaking her head and approaching her dresser. 
“I have a few sweaters you can borrow too if you’re cold,” she reached into her pajama drawer and pulled out an old Jimi Hendrix shirt she had purchased at a record store from her hometown years ago. The neckline was fraying and the graphic design was barely dark enough to where it was easy to make out.  
“Yeah, I’ll take one if that's alright,” he smiled at her, holding the t-shirt up in front of him. “Do you actually like Hendrix or is this just like a hand-me-down?” 
She rolled her eyes, going through the bin of sweaters she had, trying to find one that would actually fit his lanky, but tall, frame. “Yes, I actually like him, asshat. I have Are You Experienced on vinyl,” she nodded her head to the turntable that sat in the corner, near her bathroom door. A collection of vinyl growing dust sat on the bottom shelf of the stand it sat on. 
“Damn my bad, cupcake.” She hated that. She hated how he called her ‘cupcake’ or ‘sweetie’. She hated how it sounded, hated how it made her feel, hated how degrading it was. She handed him a plain gray sweater, saying nothing, not making eye contact. “Thanks,” he took it from her, his hand grazing hers in an unnecessary manner. Without warning, he pulled his shirt over his head and fumbled with the t-shirt she had handed him. He was just standing in her room basically half naked. 
“Oh,” she said, turning around and facing the opposite of him. He laughed from behind her. She wished she had chosen her alone time. Or at least asked to see the movie later in the day as she was going on nine hours of being with the boy. 
“I’m decent now.” She turned to face her dresser again, filing through her shirt drawer looking for a long sleeve to wear under her sweater. Even with the chilly fall weather, movie theaters cranked their ac all the way up. “I’m gonna change in the bathroom,” she shut the door after getting the last word of her sentence out, thankful to have a moment to herself. 
While she was undressing her upper half, she heard a pounding on the door, the bells clanking against the wood. “Hey are you okay?” she shouted.
“Yeah,” he yelled back to her, “there’s some guy at your door, should I open it?”
Some guy? She couldn’t think of anyone who would drop by randomly on a Tuesday afternoon, other than Jax but he knew she didn’t need a ride so it couldn’t have been him, right? 
“Gimme a sec,” she tugged her long sleeve over her head and opened the bathroom door, pulling her hair out of the neckline. 
She covered the eyehole for a moment before briefly looking into it, but someone was covering the other side of it. She glanced back at Ross, shrugging her shoulders, silently asking what she should do. 
“Here, I got it,” he approached her and she stepped back to give him some space. He cracked the door open slightly, just enough space for his head to be visible from the other side. “Hey can I help you?” 
The door was pushed open, Ross groaning at the force from the man on the other side. Harry stomped his way in the apartment, looking around the space before his eyes landed on her. His gaze softened. He didn’t say anything. Neither did she. 
“Dude, you can just fucking come into someones house man,” Ross said from behind him. Harry rolled his eyes, turning to face the significantly smaller boy. 
“Don’t fucking call me dude, who the fuck are you?” Harry yelled as he approached him, towering over him and backing him into the wall.
Ross swallowed, his back hitting the brick wall. “I-uh, who are you?” he retorted, Harry chuckled. 
“What are you doing here?” y/n spoke up, taking a step closer to him. Harry turned, locking eyes with her again. 
He didn’t have an explanation that didn’t make him sound insanely jealous and possessive of someone who wasn’t even his. “I, y/n, I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I’m sorry.”
“Can we go outside for a second?” Harry nodded, his hand on the doorknob waiting for her to come with him. He closed the door behind him. She didn’t say anything, a sad look on her face.
Harry’s hand twitched beside him, wanting so desperately to pull her into him to hold her or even to touch her cheek again. She poked at the chipped nail polish on her nails. 
“I still haven’t made any banana bread,” she broke the silence. A smile made a home on Harry's lips. 
“Hmm, that’s exactly why I came, how’d you know?” she smiled up at him, a gleam in her eyes. Harry’s smile wavered. His hands twitched again, his subconscious begging him to run, begging him to stay far away from the sweet angel that stood in front of him. 
“ ‘S just a guess,” her head dipped down again, her arms coming to wrap around her torso as the autumn air nipped away at her. 
They stood in silence for a moment, none of the two knowing what to say after weeks of no contact. Harry felt he couldn’t ask her about the morning shift or about the things Jax has told him about her life recently; he wasn’t invited into that part. Rather, he uninvited himself to that part of her life when he sent he Jaxs information then proceeded to go back and forth with blocking and unblocking her number. 
“We’re going to see Priscilla, it starts pretty soon.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” 
“Didn’t know you were an Elvis fan.”
“I’m not,” she was quick to disprove the claim, “it’s not about him, it’s about his child bride.” Harry chuckled. 
“Hm, I’m not too fond of the ‘Viva Las Vegas’ bastard either,” she smiled, wryly. “I’ll head out then, I hope you enjoy your night,” he turned on his heel, she followed behind him, meeting him at the stairs.
“Harry,” he turned, surprised with how close she was. “If you’d like, um, you can come over after I get home.”
“I’d love to,” he grinned at her. 
“Harry?” They were so close to each other. 
“Yes?”
“You promise you’ll come back?” His heart broke, practically shattered at that. He shook his head fervently. 
“Yes. Yes, y/n, I’ll come back once you tell me to.”
“I’ll see you soon, Harry.”
“I’ll see you soon, y/n.”
Harry descended down the stairs, she stayed in her spot, peering over the railing to watch him walk away. She hoped he’d keep his promise. The front door to her apartment creaked, Ross peeking his head out, warily. 
“He gone?” she nodded, heading back into her space. “Who was that? He’s scary as shit, cupcake. How do you know him?” he asked, bewildered by the mysterious man who practically burst into her home. 
“Ya know that friend who owes me a favor?” He nodded. “That’s him. He’s kinda temperamental, I’m sorry,” a pursed smile was sent to him as an apologetic gesture. 
“Kinda is an understatement, sweetheart.” There it was again. A nickname coated in degradation. One she hated coming from him, but if Harry or Jax had said it, it would absolutely be and feel different. 
“Are you ready to go, I’m sure we’re gonna miss all the trailers and you know what’ll happen if I don’t get my blue and red Icee.” she joked. 
“First, I truly doubt something bad is going to happen to the county of Placerville and second its blue raspberry and cherry. Not blue, not red.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. 
“Yeah whatever, let’s go dipshit.” His laugh boomed through the room as she picked her keys off the counter. 
+++
Y/n was sobbing. Her heart caught in her throat as Elvis was forcing Priscilla to pack a bag to take to her parents after she confronted him about finding a love note in his jacket pocket. He was terrifying and the movie just reinforced how poorly she thought of the beloved singer. 
A hand grazed her knee, finding a place on her thigh. She was stunned, not daring to move her leg in any way. The thumb moving from side to side, a reassuring gesture, sure, but coming from someone she didn’t think of in any way other than a coworker; it was unwanted, unjustified. She swallowed back the acid building in her throat and reached for her watered down Icee, sipping on the cool liquid. She still hadn’t moved the hand and she wouldn’t for the remainder of the film, far too scared of potential consequences.  
A flood of relief washed over her when the movie ended and the lights returned. A halo of light above their heads woke the sleeping boy next to her.
He stretched out, “ ‘s over?” she nodded. 
“I take it you weren’t a fan?”
He shook his head, “I don’t think I was the target audience,” he shrugged, “you liked it?”
She nodded, “I loved it.”
They stood from their seats and headed for the exit, she tossed her melted Icee remnants and popcorn before they exited the building entirely. It was completely dark out and pouring. They ran to his car, trying to outrun the downpour embracing them. 
Silence covered them as they sat in the car, the heater spat out cold air before finally heating the space to a more comfortable temperature. He put the car into reverse and sped out of the parking lot. Soft indie music played through the speakers, no artists y/n had particularly liked but she wouldn’t complain as she wasn’t the one driving. 
His hand found a home on her thigh again, higher than the previous unwanted gesture was. She glared down at it for a moment before grabbing his hand in between her thumb and pointer finger, moving it so it sat on the gear shift instead. He chuckled. 
“Sorry, thought it was fine since,” he turned to glance at her before looking back out the windshield, “you didn’t move it earlier.” 
She stared at her hands in her lap, swallowing the saliva building up in her mouth. “I, um,” she pulled her lips into her mouth for a moment, “I’m not really interested in you like that. I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” he took a sharp breath, before laughing. “I’m really bad at reading people. I’m sorry, I got the wrong idea.” Relief washed over her. 
“No don’t worry, I’m also extremely passive and I can’t really express myself like I should, I don't know.” 
“Well, it's both our faults then,” he smiled at her and she sent one right back. 
Harry watched as he put his car into park, having made it back to her apartment complex before them as his car went much faster than his beat up civic. He watched as y/n reached over the middle console to hug the boy and watched as she got out to ascend the stairs. Now he would simply wait to get a text to invite him up. 
Y/n opened the door, greeted by her bells, and flicked on the lights. She ran around her studio, trying to tidy up quickly, and lit a pumpkin spice candle before running into the bathroom to take a quick shower, desperate to wash the rain scent off her (and Ross’ lingering touch).
Harry sat in his car, his fingers dancing along the dashboard impatiently as he wondered what was taking her so long. Naturally, his mind went to the worst case scenario; someone broke in and is holding her hostage or she fell and twisted her ankle and is screaming on the floor from the debilitating pain or-.
His phone chimed, her message casting a glow onto his face.
Y/n:
i’m home now you can head over whenever:)
His anxiety was alleviated from her text message, a confirmation of her safety and wellbeing. He immediately got out of his car, the warmth from the heated seats almost disappeared instantly with how cold and wet it was. And like her, he ascended the stairs to knock on the door.
On the inside, y/n was confused by the knocking, not realizing it was Harry with how quickly the knocking happened after she sent the text. She peered through the peephole and immediately opened the door, not wanting him to stay in the cold much longer. The bells on the handle sang.
“Bells?” She nodded. “Hm.”
“It’s a safety thing, I guess.”
“You don’t feel safe?” He stepped closed to her as she shut the door behind him.
“Well, it’s not that I don’t feel safe, I just wanted extra precaution,” she shrugged.
“If you don’t feel safe I’ll have Jax stay in the area and have hourly check ins or we can relocate you or-”
“Relocate? Harry, no it’s not that big of a deal I just wanted to be able to hear the door from the shower.” Harry glared at her. 
“Not that big of a deal? Y/n, your safety is a huge deal.” 
“Can we drop it? Please, I don’t want to talk about it,” she approached her bed and sat down, picking up a decorative pillow to mess with the trim. 
Harry sighed and sat next to her on the bed, moving her hair from her face. She looked at him, the glimmer in her eyes returning. The little voice in Harry’s head returned, even louder, shouting at him to leave her alone; to get out of there and never look back.
“We can drop it, but you need to tell me if you ever feel unsafe, little lamb, understood?” She nodded. “Y/n,” he said in a warning tone, “tell me you understand, please. 
She rolled her eyes, smiling. “Yes, Harry, I understand.”
“Thank you.”
“How’d you get here so fast?” Harry froze, trying to come up with an excuse but blanking, just staring at her for a minute while his mind went a million miles an hour. “Harry?”
“I, I kinda just stayed in the parking lot while you were gone.”
She laughed. “No way, you waited more than two hours? Just sitting in your car?” he hesitantly nodded, a blatant lie.
He absolutely did not wait in his car outside of her apartment. He followed them to the theater, bought himself a ticket to the same movie, and sat at the very top with his head low, and watched them the entire time. He watched as her shoulders shook from crying, watched as she ate her candy and drank her Icee, watched when the boy she was with, whose name he never bothered learning, placed his hand on her lap. He watched them leave the theater with anger coursing through him. 
“You didn’t have to do that, Harry.” He shrugged, not caring to continue this conversation. 
“Why are you on mornings now?” 
She sighed, “I got scared,” her tongue was thick in her mouth, scared to cry again if it resulted in him leaving once more and ending contact for another month. His hand met her back, lightly rubbing the tender flesh beneath his rough hand. Her hands fumbled with the zipper on the pillow. “The night we met really freaked me out.  Like when you left, I swore someone was still here watching me. It was freaky. And the next morning I was so drained, I think that's why I forgot Jax was coming to get me. And then the time changed and I got even more scared cause I would just basically be working in the dark the entire shift and I don’t know I just psych myself out sometimes,” she ended her tangent, partially forgetting to breathe throughout it. 
Harry’s hand moved to tangle in her hair, slightly gripping the strands between his fingers, before removing his touch from her all together. 
“And you forgot your phone,” he joked, a soft smile on his lips. 
She pulled her lips in her mouth, exhaling a laugh through her nose, “and I forgot my phone.”
Silence dawned on them once more. A comfortable one, neither needing to speak as they basked in each other's presence. 
She scooted closer to Harry, her head making contact with his shoulder. Harry gulped at the contact, unsure of what to do with himself. His hand raised, touching her cheek gently. They sat there, in silence, for what felt like an eternity. A comfortable, blissful eternity. 
She had fallen asleep on his shoulder, her breathing became evenly paced and softer. Harry laid her down under her sheets, and saw himself out after kissing her forehead and blowing out her candle. 
+++
Y/n was having an okay day, nothing bad had happened at work, so far. No rude customers, no shitty tips and best of all, no training needed to be done. So, yes her day was going well. Until she received a message from Harry saying they needed to have a talk and that he’ll be picking her up. He was consistent with punctuation, but the period at the end of his sentence horrified her. She was a sweaty, anxious mess her entire shift. 
She reread the message every ten minutes. Time was moving so slow. Her anxiety was eating away at her, like it had been starving for months and had finally found a body to ravage to satiate the hunger. She had four cigarettes during her shift. 
Harry leaned against the passenger door of his car, waiting for y/n’s shift to end. She could feel his eyes on her every time she passed by the window at the front to attend to her last table, she knew he was watching her; he was so attentive. It made her sick. 
When her shift finally ended, after what felt like an eternity and a half, y/n pushed the doors open and made her way to Harry. He looked down at her with a smirk. She hoped he couldn’t see her throat bobbing while she swallowed down the excess saliva building in her mouth. 
“Ya kept me waiting, little lamb.” he opened the car door for her and she could feel her coworkers staring out the window at the pair. 
“‘M sorry.” She sat on the heated seat, placing her bag on the floor between her feet. Harry leaned over her to connect her seatbelt. “Thank you,” she muttered before Harry closed the door. 
“How was your shift?” he asked as he buckled himself in. 
“S’fine.” she mumbled. 
“Angel,” her heart pounded against her sternum, you could practically hear her heartbeat in the silence. “What have I told you about mumbling?”
She bit her lip, gnawing on it before answering. “You don’t understand it.” she practically whispered.
“That’s right, little lamb. Now, why do you keep doing it?”
She could cry, sob and dry heave even. Fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness as if she had angered a god. “I don’t know, I’m sorry.” she fiddled with her fingers. Harry’s hand grabbed her own and pinched the inside of her palm, a squeal escaping her lips. He laughed. 
“Don’t apologize, ‘m just messing with you,” he smiled at her as he parked his car, already at her complex. He was quick to undo his seatbelt and get out, running to her side to open the door for her. “After you.” he gestured to the stairs, allowing her to go in front of him. 
She opened the door, her bells greeting the two. She stood by the door as Harry took a seat in her chair (it finally was free of clean clothing).
“Can you tell me what you want to talk to me about? Please?”
“Eager?” she nodded. 
“More scared than anything.” her breathing was heavy. 
“Oh, my sweet lamb.” remorse covered his face, so sorry and upset he had made a literal angel wait in apprehension. He stood from his spot on the chair and moved to stand before her. Without hesitation, he held her face in the palm of his hand, her nuzzling into the warmth of his touch. “I’m sorry I scared you, didn’t mean to, angel.” 
“S’okay, Harry, I know.” 
“Sit with me,” he removed his hand from her face, instead reaching for her hand to sit with him on the chair. He sat and patted his lap, an invitation for her. 
“There’s not enough space for the both of us.”
He tugged on her arm, “s’fine, just sit.”
“Harry, that chair is 100 years old, I’m not breaking my favorite antique piece.” 
“Y/n,” his tone laced with warning. 
“Harry,” she whined back. “Just sit on the bed with me please.” she pouted. 
And, of course, Harry would give in, standing up with her hand still in his and sitting on the bed to please her. Their thighs were touching with the proximity of their bodies, y/n hoped he couldn’t hear her heartbeat or feel the sweat coating her palm. 
“Can you tell me now, please.” she rested her head on his shoulder, Harry could hear her pouting as she spoke. 
He sighed, squeezing her hand in his. “I feel very,” he paused, trying to gather his thoughts so as to not scare her with how he truly felt. “I feel very protective of you, y/n.” 
“Wow that’s a shocker,” she interrupted, sarcastically. 
“Y/n” he warned, again. 
“Sorry. Go ‘head.” 
“No interruptions, please.” she nodded, “Good girl.” she grinned, “I feel very protective of you and I thought leaving you alone would make it not as intense but it definitely only made it worse, angel. I just, I need to know you’re safe and okay and I have no idea why but I just need to know. Your safety means so much to me, your wellbeing.” he swallowed, taking in a shaky breath. “I need to tell you, or warn you, about what I do.” 
She lifted her head, making eye contact with him, a puzzled look replacing her previously smitten expression. 
“I kinda sell drugs.” Still, she maintained eye contact. He looked at her, waiting for a response. 
“Is that it?” 
“What?” Harry asked, confused. 
“You sell drugs?” he nodded. “Oh okay.”
Still, Harry stared at her, bewildered by her nonchalant response. “You’re okay with that?” 
“Harry, there’s like ten people in this town with nothing to do, literally everyone deals or buys. Not a big deal.” she shrugged a shoulder, her fingers messing with his rings. 
Still, he stared at her, his expression growing concerned. “It’s not just weed, y/n.” She laughed, his eyes were bulging, his jaw slack and a furrow in his brow. 
“I can assume it’s not just weed, you won’t be making much with just weed here.”
“Your casualness with what I’m telling you is concerning.”
Her smile faded, “I'm sorry, what do you want me to say?”
He ran his hand through his hair, dropping his gaze to their hands entwined. “I don’t know. I just didn’t expect you to be so calm.” 
“I used to do coke,” she shrugged. Harry’s eyes snap to hers, squeezing her hand a little more. “I had really bad issues maybe, like, last September. It was really bad, the withdrawals were insane but one of my friends' brothers had, um,” she swallowed down the acid building in her throat. "He got some laced with fent and he passed. My friend only got worse because of it and the guy who sold him it didn’t even care, he was just like ‘well that happens sometimes’, such a fucking asshole like he had just killed someone and that didnt even spark anything in him! I stopped after that cause I was so scared,” she admitted. “My friend never got better, he had to move in with his parents and they forced him to go to rehab but that didn’t even help.” 
“I’m sorry.” was all Harry could offer. 
She looked up at him through her lashes, “I trust you, Harry. I do. But if you’re selling anything laced,” she shook her head, her breathing picking up. 
“I’m not, angel I promise I’m not, I’d never.” he let go of her hand, placing both hands on the sides of her face, forcing her to look at him.
“If you ever work with Liam Payne I’ll kill you.” He laughed at her threat, the name going over his head at the idea of a girl her size trying to cause harm to a man of his stature. “Don’t laugh at me! I’m being serious, Harry. If you ever work with him I’ll never wanna see you again. Liam is a terrible person. I don’t want you to get involved in that too.” 
He deadpanned, “Liam Payne?” she nodded. “How do you know him?” 
“Who do you think sold the laced batch?” Harry was furious. He removed his hands from her face, standing up and letting out a frustrated groan. “What’s wrong? Do you know him?” 
“No,” he responded immediately. “Never met him, Niall was telling me about him. There was a shootout the other day and we think it was him, probably was that stupid fuck. He could be the reason we fucking get caught! Fuck!” he shouted, the girl flinched, her gaze returning to her hands. 
“I'm sorry I brought it up, I didn't mean to make you mad at me.” 
He stared at her, his breathing heavy. She couldn’t look at him, wouldn’t dare to make eye contact with him out of fear of him taking it out on her. She knew deep down, however, he would never lay a finger on her; never cause any harm to her whatsoever. But the thought was still prevalent. 
“ M'not mad at you, never at you, little one. Look at me,” she looked up at him, her eyes meeting the green ones she adored. He sat back on the bed, taking her face in his hands one more. “not at you at all. Promise.” she nodded, grabbed his hands from her face and nuzzled her face into his neck, her hands gripping his jacket. “I’m sorry for scaring you, won't do it again.” he apologized as he rubbed her back. 
“Thank you.” she kissed the side of his neck, momentarily feeling his pulse with her lips. Harry’s heart fluttered in his chest. 
Harry wished he could stay like that forever, with her warmth against his, her face nestled in his neck. Peace was finally in his grasp, holding onto it so delicately like a fine piece of china, far too scared to drop it and destroy the delicate art, but it was never in his nature to be deft. He’d take what he could get, and if this was all he would be offered, he would accept it with open arms and a half empty heart. He longed to be full again.
and know that one day, you and I could be okay.
tags: @tiaamberxx @jerseygirlinca @n0vaj3an @tpwk-mia @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @hannah9921 @love-letters-to-uranus @ribbonknives @annesauriol @moneybaby07
if your @ is in red the tag doesn’t work. thanks for reading and supporting ₊˚⊹♡
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lostyesterday · 1 year ago
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As a visually disabled person myself, one thing I wish TNG had done with Geordi is show his disability actually affecting how he functions in his daily life. For example, I can’t remember a single time in TNG where Geordi is shown as needing accommodations in his work environment. You might say that’s because his visor means that he can basically “see” normally and so he wouldn’t need accommodations, but I find this explanation frustrating.
For one thing, real life visually disabled people absolutely require accommodations to do most jobs, so if Geordi’s meant to be any kind of accurate reflection of the experiences of blind people, he should require some accommodations. For me at least, it isn’t some kind of wish fulfillment fantasy to see a visually disabled character who can do anything a sighted person can with no accommodations whatsoever. Instead, it feels like a denial of everything that being disabled has meant to me over my life. Disabled people are disabled. We have more difficulty doing certain tasks than an able-bodied person would – that’s what makes us disabled. We require changes to our environment in order to function well.
Also, literally just based on the in-universe information given about Geordi’s visor, it doesn’t make any sense to me that he wouldn’t require accommodations. Geordi’s visor is not really described as simulating vision, it is described as providing completely different sensory information about the physical properties of the world around him. I like to imagine the visor’s input as a kind of enhanced spatial awareness with a precise knowledge of where certain objects are, what their shape is, and what they’re made of. As TNG mentions several times, Geordi’s visor provides much more information than human eyes do, but, importantly, in the few episodes where the details of how Geordi’s visor works are discussed at all, it’s never described as providing purely visual information such as the color or reflectiveness of an object. I think that if Geordi faces a mirror, his visor will tell him there’s a piece of glass in front of him and he’ll know about how large it is and what material it’s made of, but he won’t be able to see his reflection in it, because the visor doesn’t provide that kind of visual information. This distinction is important to me, because it means that Geordi is still functionally blind with the visor, and it should mean that he interacts with the world differently from a sighted person.
For example, I would have loved if Geordi had been shown to be unable to recognize particular people until they spoke. All his visor tells him is that there’s a person in front of him and about what size and shape they are, but this isn’t generally enough information to determine a person’s identity. He canonically perceives Data as looking very different from an organic person which makes sense because Data is made of fully different material. And maybe Geordi can generally tell different species apart based on different body temperatures or something like that. But I really wish that Geordi had been shown at least a few times to need the sound of a person’s voice or some other cue to tell him who they were.
I also think it doesn’t make sense that Geordi can apparently read text on computer screens. How can he read if the visor doesn’t really provide visual information? A computer screen should just register as a flat piece of material. Geordi should have required some kind of accommodation to be able to use the computer screens. For example, maybe Geordi could use the computer entirely through voice commands, something that obviously already exists in the star trek world. Or he could use some kind of tactile display. The Voyager episode The Year of Hell shows that computer terminals on starships are able to utilize a tactile display that I’m guessing is somewhat similar to braille. I loved this mention in Voyager of tactile displays, because it indicates that Starfleet ships are probably automatically equipped with such accessibility devices. Geordi needing an accommodation as small as this would have gone really far in terms of making him feel like a genuine representation of a disabled character, at least to me.
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monvante · 10 months ago
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persona non grata ╱ myg, 𝟏.
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per·​so·​na non gra·​ta: unwelcome or unwanted. not popular or accepted by others.
pairing: myg x f!reader
genre: suspense / noir / detective au
rating: mature | 18+
chapter word count: 3,067
content warings: crime, blackmail, missing person investigation, themes of violence and murder, 90's cult references, corrupt cops, mentions of physical fighting, cockroaches, depictions of dementia, substance abuse & addiction, reader is grieving a breakup;
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chapter i. goodbye, kanan.
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Tuesday night, March 18th @ ViCAP Unit, Missing Persons Dept.
Your hands don’t feel clean. They just never do. 
“It’s that same nightmare,” you rub them together, finding comfort in the heat.
Yoongi looks at you. He says nothing, because of course he doesn't. He already noticed the dark circles under your eyes this morning, how you looked at your cup of coffee with a bit more disgust than usual.
He admired your hatred, your devotion to your spiteful heart.
“Cockroaches.” Your sad chuckle is but self-mockery. Your gaze is crestfallen.
He’s left to calculate within the machinations of his mind whatever meaning there is in your nightmare. 
Yet, Yoongi finds none whatsoever.
“Have you eaten?” 
“Why?”
“Just asking,” he shrugs. “Take tomorrow off,” Yoongi hides his hands inside the pockets of his trench coat. His concern is disguised in his eyes, looking out the foggy windows of the department office. “You need it.”
“I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Let it go.”
“He was eight years old! He was a child!”
The air tightens in your lungs and your throat thickens with silence. You didn’t mean to sound so exasperated, you didn’t mean to sound like anything, but you’ll have to be the first to face your emotional ties to the cold case of a young boy whose face is ingrained in the back of your mind.
Yoongi gulps ⎯  it’s the first thing he does when the truth’s engulfed in his stomach. You glare at him, but he doesn’t budge. Not for a few seconds at least, taking a few steps back as he still refuses to look you in the eye. All cops are cowards.
“You wanna know why we got this case?”
Your brows perk. 
“It’s not because we’re good,” he scoffs. “Last year... I confronted McKinnon about the money. He called me a snitch… I didn’t- I didn’t tell him you were in on it, but I figured he knew. That bastard just.. kept looking at me with those filthy eyes and I- I hit him, okay? I got him good. He deserved it.”
“Is that why you kept avoiding me all those months?”
“Kind of. He said we wouldn’t come out of it alive if the ACU so much as dreamt of it… So I kept quiet. He gave us a case full of dead ends and shit evidence to keep us busy… Said we deserved it.”
The Anti Corruption Unit had been onto the agents’ tail that month. Not that it matters. Nothing was found.
“Why– why didn’t you tell me?”
He runs a hand through his hair, slowing down his breath. In the same second, he fails himself and his fury comes out in full force.
“Fuck’s sake! And risk you being dead? Or worse?!” 
There are drops of sweat down his temple. You can see them because the yellow street lights glisten against his skin and you figure he’s telling you the truth. Even if he wasn’t, you’d be inclined to believe him. 
No one else in this godforsaken unit has a commitment to the truth like Yoongi. 
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Thursday morning, March 20th @ ViCAP Unit, Missing Persons Dept.
Agent Gerwig gives you a warm, tight-lipped smile when you pass her down the hallways. You hurry past the agents down the coffee machine, avoiding small talk and nearly tripping down the stairs on your way to Yoongi’s desk. 
The insides of your stomach are twisting and turning as you rush inside, uninvited and breathless, waiting for him to acknowledge you behind his incessant typing and the meaningless emails he reads everyday. 
Yoongi seems as still and lifeless as ever, which somehow comes as a comfort to you. 
“Days off are supposed to make you look better, not worse. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He types as fast as he comes up with witty remarks. 
“That’s because I have!” You spit back, fists closed tightly around the newspaper in your hands.
He quirks up one brow, enough for you to know you’ve got his attention.
“Here,” you toss it onto his desk. “Read it.”
November 27th, 1991. Solved case: Thanksgiving kidnappings linked to man apprehended by police.
“That’s Adam Bowen. He got arrested a night after Kanan went missing,” you huff, catching your breath. “They never considered him a suspect because… the timelines didn’t add up, apparently.” 
Yoongi looks up at you from the large frame of his glasses.
“And?”
“Police always suspected he worked with his brother… but they never found enough evidence to prove it. They never even found said brother, the guy disappeared out of thin air and Bowen never told them anything. Not a word.”
He leans back, stretching his arms. His gaze diverts away from you or the paper altogether and he’s staring into space, seemingly at a loss for words.
“They got one brother, huh? Looks like it was enough for them to settle it,” Yoongi clicks his tongue. “Sloppy as all hell.”
In your heart, there’s some feeble hope, but most of it has been filled with despair and a fierce jealousy towards anyone who still maintained a sense of normalcy. Your last seven years have been haunted by nightmares, tainted by the faces of all the missing person reports hanging on your walls.
“We got a second half of the story to figure out.”
Yoongi nods. He closes off his laptop and puts his hands around his gun belt.
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Friday night, March 21th @ Agent ___’s home.
Circe’s orange tail swirls around your leg before she’s meowing next to her empty bowl, with cute and threatening eyes glaring into your soul. You can barely catch your breath on the couch ⎯  you got shit to do. 
Her paws trail happily after you once you’re pouring the pack of Whiskas onto her tiny plate, making a mental note to throw nearly all the home decor away before Easter comes. The apartment is filled with portraits, vases and candles Yuri generously left you with. 
Such courtesy of your ex-fiancée to have abandoned all your memories and stories behind. 
You’re running out of coffee, hope and sugar.
Yuri was not a bad man. It’s what you told yourself, once. He wanted the kids and the white picket fence life, away from violent gangs and city lights, where he’d craft the perfect nuclear family, worthy of homemade apple pies and Sunday barbecues.
But you liked the urban loneliness, your shoebox apartment and the green subway lights on your way back home. You liked the comfort of knowing every neighborhood like the palm of your hand, the ins and outs of every highway and the thought of heartless strangers passing you by, not caring for your name.
You missed him. His warm body pressed against yours and his golden, brown skin; you missed him selfishly ⎯  your comfort zone walked away and resentment grew alongside the fondness. 
You hoped he was happy without you, but not too much.
When your co-workers asked you about him, a few days after he packed his bags, all you gave them was a shrug and a poor explanation, the kind that everyone does: we were incompatible, it wasn’t meant to be, I wasn’t ready. The list went on and on.
The only one to not probe was good old loyal Yoongi. He was indifferent enough to other people’s personal lives not to ask. When you told him, he patted you on the shoulder awkwardly and placed your coffee by your desk with extra whipped cream. 
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Saturday afternoon, March 22nd @ Rosefell Nursing Home.
Violet Bowen was not, by any means, what you’d call a reliable witness. She seemed pale beyond human comprehension and her words mostly consisted of hummings or muttering. The moment you saw her, you felt a sting of empathy too strong to ask her of her missing, possibly outlaw brother.
She had no other relatives nor close visitors, except for a caring ex-neighbor who’d bring her flowers every Friday. With nails painted a deep shade of red, she looked to be around eighty, but you couldn’t quite tell. Violet was in poor condition, plagued by dementia and the loneliness of lost loved ones. 
Her caretaker is a vibrant, blonde nurse. A blonde Southern belle whose name tag read in big, uppercase letters.
CAROLYN R. NURSING ASSISTANT
It’s Yoongi who interrogates Violet, remaining unaffected by her lost gaze and brown eyes. He flashes her a picture of her brothers back in the 80’s, sporting what looks to be fluffy mullets. 
She smiles then and her shaky hands point at Adam, but nothing else comes out of her aside from a gleam of life in her eyes. Even if she knew where they were, she wouldn’t tell them a word. 
Carolyn’s smile grows disconcerted. Her hands lay on Violet’s forearm as she pulls a thick chunk of her blonde hair out of her face in typical Southern charm. 
“I think my girl’s had enough here, yes?” She forces a grin, glancing over at Violet. “If you’ll excuse us, it’s tea time.” 
Carolyn helps Violet out of her seat and into the cafeteria. You’re not sure if it’s bad timing or a deliberate attempt from the nursing assistant to end this conversation, but you’re leaning on the latter. Off they go, taking slow, mindful steps away from both of you.
You refuse to look at Violet’s way. Something about her made you want to cry your heart out; the thought of loneliness being an imminent threat to you, too. 
“It’s pointless, Yoongi,” you mutter in your seat, slouching your shoulders. “She’s not going to remember anything.”
He hates to agree. Yoongi tsks, fiddling with his watch.
“Did you check her records at the reception?” He glances over at you, mind brimming with some sort of nefarious idea.
“Yeah,” you nod. “I mean- I didn’t check if she had any funds… It looks like all her properties and money were confiscated by the government, but I should run a background check on her bank accounts, to be sure.”
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Monday afternoon, March 24th @ Tech Unit, Information Management Division.
Jenny’s doodles lie by her desk, making the room feel like a high school classroom. You haven’t spoken to her since December; what was once a blossoming friendship wilted away thanks to your cowardice and the desire to protect her from Deputy McKinnon’s claws. If Jenny found out, she’d jump the gun. 
And she didn’t have the best aim.
Her Naruto sketches have improved greatly since you last saw them, a massive improvement for just a couple months. Both of you used to laugh at her poorly drawn stick figures, now it looks like she’s ready to take her comics career seriously. You’re happy for her ⎯  she’ll find a way out of this hellhole.
The air is thick and humid in the early Spring, but filled with an extra layer of awkwardness when she sees you from across the room. Jenny’s strides towards her desk are heavy with grief and resentment, but she holds her gaze your way.
“Have you had enough space from me after not picking up my calls?” She slides onto her chair, scribbling a few notes onto her monthly planner. “Long time no see, idiot.”
You don’t have much to say for yourself, even when your chest pangs with her affectionate, yet sarcastic use of the word idiot. 
“A lot happened, is all,” you gesture sheepishly, hands reaching for the insides of your pockets.
“I can imagine.”
“I’m sorry, Jenny… I didn’t mean to-” 
She looks up at you, eyes drenched with irony and something.. something which you can’t name. If it’s hatred or love, you can’t tell.
“Wat’cha want?”
You swallow dry and uneasy, unfolding the paper on your hand with Violet Bowen’s name and address. It’s crumpled and a little thorn ⎯  you were ready to throw it away seconds before coming into the Tech Unit.
“I- I need a background check on someone,” you mutter, lowly. “Bank account activity… Credit cards… Anything you can find from the last… thirty years, maybe?” 
Your attempt at a chuckle fails, denouncing your regret. Jenny notices the furrow of your brows and how concerned you seem, ripping the paper away from your hands. 
“Sure.” 
The seconds fill with silence. You stand by her desk, waiting for a snide comment, a spiteful joke, anything. She looks at you like she knows you want to apologize again.
“Nice sketches!” You smile as a desperate invitation to make friendly conversation. 
Jenny doesn’t cave in.
“You’re dismissed,” she nods at the doorway and hops onto her laptop. “I’ll text you when I’m done.”
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Monday night, March 24th @ Agent ____’s home.
“Hey,” you mutter over the phone. “Just checking up on you and mom.”
“Finally!” Albeit sarcastic, your younger sister’s voice is nothing but chirpy, as it has always been. “We miss you, you idiot. You know that, right?”
Over the phone, you can hear your mom’s laugh and a few unintelligible words. It seems she’s adjusting to your dad’s absence. Somehow, you had stopped calling after the funeral. It’s not that you didn’t miss them back ⎯  you were sick of being flooded with memories every time you’d hear her voice. Like your dad was still there too, right beside her.
“Sorry, sweetcheeks. I’ve just been busy.” The explanations and apologies roll off your tongue.
“You know you can’t avoid us forever, right?” Her voice is so sober, it’s as if she’s older than you by a million years. 
When you gaze out the window, loneliness overcomes you. The years spent playing hide and seek in your childhood home are long gone, replaced by miles of distance between you and your family ⎯  how you became so caring and so bad at expressing it like your father. You hate how much of you is made of all the people you love. And miss.
“You there?”
“Y-yeah, yeah I’m sorry.” 
“I swear to God, you gotta stop doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“This.” She pauses. “Acting like we don’t exist. Seriously. We miss you.”
A pang of guilt flashes through your chest. 
“I know.” Your voice is small through the phone again. In between the anxiety and the seconds, you fiddle with your bracelet. “I’m sorry.. It’s been hell.”
“I promised you I wouldn’t tell mom about your breakup, but she keeps asking me. It wouldn’t hurt if you opened up for once.” She sounds more hurt than angry, vindicating your mother after all the months you spent avoiding calls and texts under the pretense of your busy adult job.
Even in the softness of her voice, her words feel harsh. You gulp down a threatening tear, staying silent on the phone. She was still right, though.
“Listen, we love you, okay? I don’t know what kind of shit you’re going through because you won’t tell me everything.. but dude, please, seriously just come visit us sometime. I know you’ve got your job and all, but act human for once. Please?”
“Okay, okay. I’ll try. I promise.”
“Good. I gotta go now. Mom wants to go grocery shopping for some french-whatever-pie and I promised her I’d help. Give Circe my love!”
You chuckle, sadly.
“Yeah… Yeah, it’s okay. I’ll see you guys soon.”
When the call ends, silence deepens. It’s your own doing, you know, but that doesn’t make it any less suffocating. Even when you crave solitude, you’re just plagued by loneliness. 
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Wednesday morning, March 26th @ Java café.
Today, Yoongi thinks you look a little better. And by better, it means rested. Of course, your gaze is still very much zombie-like, with glimpses of terror in your eyes when you look away. 
But in this line of work, it ain’t all rainbows and sunshine.
It’s never rainbows and sunshine, he realizes.
“So,” you sigh.
“So.” Yoongi punctuates, giving you room to breathe.
Your eyes are distant, watching children play in the puddles from last night’s rainstorm. The weather has been cruel to this city, punishing sinners and saints alike with a dreadful fog in the mornings and plenty of humidity to drive your hair follicles to the brink of insanity.
“Bowen’s alive, Yoongi. There’s a big chance he just… got away with it.”
Your words aren’t met with so much enthusiasm. You suppose it’s the skepticism in this field ⎯ even the good news don’t feel like good news. Before his questioning and theorizing begins, Yoongi brings up a valid concern.
“Why didn’t his brother spill his whereabouts, though? It’s not like Adam had any reasons to protect his brother any longer.”
“Unless he did.” You counter-argue.
“Why, though? It doesn’t make sense. In ninety percent of the cases, you know what happens. So-called partners in crime turn against each other. It’s good ol’ politics.” Yoongi leans back in his chair, nodding at the waitress for more coffee.
“Maybe he had something to lose,” you purse your lips. The biting of your inner cheeks is such an instinctive habit of yours that it barely stings until you realize how much tension you’re holding in. “Or someone, you know?”
“Several someones.” Yoongi blinks. “Do you remember the Mormon Heritage cult?” His eyes narrow as he scrapes the top of his head.
Your back and forth is interrupted by the local waitress pouring hot black coffee onto Yoongi’s cup. He seems like he’s on a roll today ⎯  it’s his third cup. That you know of.
“Uhhh, kind of. They were a thing in the nineties, weren’t they?” 
“Yeah.. well… the Satanic panic might’ve contributed to that,” Yoongi nods, slipping his mobile out of his pocket. His fingers are hasty, typing up a Google search so he can word vomit every single fact possible. “But we know that the Jesus believers can somehow always be worse.”
He sounds so snarky, it earns a laugh out of you.
“The Bowens were around that time,” he says. “I mean ⎯  the connection seems unlikely, but with these people, you never know.”
You sigh. 
“McKinnon didn’t give us this case for nothing, huh?” Even with half a smile on your face, you can’t help but feel defeated.
“Cheer up, buttercup. I think we got a lead.” He smiles with his teeth for once in a lifetime, raising his eyes from his phone to meet yours. You know he is up to no good ⎯ and that can only be a good thing.
“Buttercup?”
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thesiltverses · 5 months ago
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I was listening to S2Q&A and I went over the character limit on Spotify so I'm just gonna drop my comment here instead:
I think all y'all do incredible work, but I'm especially a fan of the sound design! It's one of my favorite things about audio dramas that makes them distinct from audio books. The environmental storytelling that comes through is so satisfying and easy to understand without sounding manufactured.
I might be a minority, but I actually love the muddiness and chaos of your action/battle scenes. You're clearly mastering a fine line between listenability and honoring the disarray of the scene. I enjoy the brief pockets where I don't understand what's happening beat-for-beat because it feels like I'm caught in the fray of it, and not being able to 'keep the score' until it's over ramps up the tension deliciously.
Everyone does fabulous work on this, but I just wanted to gas up your sound design. It's like costuming or lighting- you're doing your job well when those things support the story, and it means people don't notice that effort at times because it's so seamless. One 'tech' to another: very well done!!!
Thank you so much, that's really kind and means a lot! Other than in the Q&As, I haven't really talked that much about picking up sound design duties over the course of the series, but it really has been a meaningful and exciting learning experience for me, not least as a writer getting to hone his writing via audio editing.
Since you mentioned it and I can't pass up the opportunity for a rant - listenability and what that actually should mean in practice is a topic I think about a lot.
I think it's important for audiodrama designers not to get haughty or defensive when listeners struggle to comprehend a particular sequence (I have designed scenes poorly where the dialogue clearly didn't rise over the background noise sufficiently, I've designed scenes poorly where the action was clearly too chaotic or lacked sufficient cues to help the audience through it).
But equally - between wildly different auditory processing capabilities and the wildly different listening environments and listening habits at play, I don't believe there's any perfect state of comprehensibility available in this medium, and sometimes I think our hunt for it can lead us astray.
Over the years, I've heard from listeners who honestly can't tell the voices of actors with globe-spanning accents apart, I've heard from listeners who can't pick up on environmental SFX cues indicating a change of location and need something more explicit in the dialogue whenever there's a scene shift, I've heard from listeners who can only listen through one earbud in the workplace and therefore don't want binaural sound, listeners who struggle to hear any action sequence whatsoever as more than incoherent noise, and listeners who can only enjoy audiodramas solely as a second-screen activity and who can't keep up with a fast-moving or complicated plot without regular recaps.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, and those listeners aren't wrong to respond in this way - everyone has their own processing threshold, and everyone has their own needs and preferences as an audience member.
But I also don't believe I'd personally want to create a full-cast show under the limitations that would arise from my attempting to strictly solve all of those problems at once (as opposed to being flexible and considerate about them during the design process).
There has to be room for calculated ambition and big swings in the medium, and there has to be room to trust the audience to keep up with you during the ambitious moments, albeit with one eye firmly on accessibility - otherwise audiodrama is likely to remain dominated by 'one actor with a nice soothing voice telling stories' or 'one small group of characters having lots of conversations about their ongoing efforts to resolve a single plot thread'. Which is often fantastic, but there's plenty of it already!
When it comes to action scenes in particular, I've been trying to operate under the consistent philosophy of 'before, DURING, after', with equal weight and design attention given to each third.
In other words, if we do enough careful and quiet work to establish the environment and props and rising tension ahead of a big noisy chaotic sequence, and if we do the careful and quiet work afterwards to clearly show where the characters have ended up and what condition they're in, my belief is that it's 100% acceptable if the audience can't immediately track the movement of Character A's fist hitting Character B and Character B falling against a table in three seconds flat.
Like good action editing in cinema, an engaged audience member will follow the motion and comprehend the outcome cleanly, even if they don't take in all the details. That, to me, is a vastly better result for the work than having to include a 'oh, no, he stabbed you with that knife!!' line of dialogue.
Anyway, you just wanted to gas me up which was very kind and instead I wrote out this big long blather. So apologies, and thank you so much again!
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lemotmo · 5 months ago
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Hey I found that one BT blog and this answer is even better. The question they got was basically why don't Buddie shippers remember that the original plan for Eddie was Maddie, and why don't we understand that's proof Buddie has never been the plan. They also went on a rant about the date scene from the finale. The ask also mentioned being blocked by Ryan and Oliver and threw in some Ryan/Oliver hate so just a heads up!
A. Hi anon! Okay you're correct, and I believe it was Jennifer herself (I could be wrong) that let us know the original plan was Eddie/Maddie but she lobbied hard for Chimney (go Jen!) and it means absolutely nothing. I hope that doesn't sound mean but it has no bearing whatsoever on anything at all. Nothing. Buddie doesn't have to have always been the plan to go canon. It can go that way if the natural trajectory of the story and characters lead things that way. And right now that looks like where it's going. I could be wrong, but it feels like that's what's coming. I mean Eddie and Maddie aren't even friends at this point, lol. I can't remember the last time they even had a scene together. I know both Ryan and Jennifer said they wanted more Eddie/Maddie interaction, which might mean they know they're going to have scenes together in the coming season. I hope they do, it's weird that they haven't interacted more. And none of that has anything at all to do with Tommy. I'm not at all sure what you mean by that? There is no Tommy connection running through the history of this show. That is not a thing. Yes he has history on the show but not to every character on this show. And certainly not to the degree you're trying to imply.
I have zero idea why people are choosing the finale date scene as their Tommy hill to die on. It was a terrible scene. It was wildly out of place in the context of that episode, and people should be willing to admit that. It was unequivocally and universally panned. The journalists who review and cover the show, the general audience, no one understood or liked that scene. The fact that Tim had to come out and flat out tell us it was supposed to be flirting is embarrassing. And tells you everything you need to know about how hard of a dud that scene was. We have all seen Buck flirt. And that wasn't even close. And it felt entirely out of character for Buck in every possible way. A lot of it can be pinned to K, who is a terrible writer in general, but, in my opinion, has never known how to actually write Buck. I also think Oliver wasn't trying to make it flirty, which maybe if he had tried it would have helped some but he clearly wasn't going for flirty. The episode as a whole was abysmal and that scene was no different. There is no need to pretend otherwise.
Now I'm going to lecture. I haven't seen a single Buddie shipper excuse Ryan's past comment. Not a single one, I'm sure someone somewhere has, but I haven't seen it. What I have seen is plenty of excuses offered for Lou's problematic history. What Ryan said was wrong, flat out inexcusably wrong. And guess what? He owned it. Publicly. He made a public apology and clearly worded himself. You can tell between then and now he's grown as a person. You only need to look at his relationship with Aisha to know that. We don't tear down or try to erase someone's personal growth to excuse the behavior of someone else. That's not how life works. You don't get to diminish Ryan's growth and personal journey to make you feel better about Lou's twitter history. Lou could have addressed things, and he chose not to. Actually he chose to go radio silent. Whether that turns out to be work related or not remains to be seen. I'm sorry you're upset that you've been blocked by Ryan, but if you sent him what you sent me in this ask, I can see why he blocked you. I also don't think it should be surprising that Oliver also blocked you. I don't think they're sitting around talking about Tommy fans like you're saying, but it wouldn't at all surprise me if they're sharing certain things they're being sent. They're friends. They're going to talk. They're allowed to be friends. You're not the first person who's mentioned being blocked by both of them. They are both huge mental health advocates and them blocking nasty comments should surprise no one. It is surprising, and incredibly disappointing, to kind of see how many people they appear to have had to block though. Look the bottom line is the story has already been decided. Whatever the direction is won't be altered by being assholes to the cast. And if we did have any kind of power to change things, which we don't, being openly hostile toward, and an asshole to, the main cast, would accomplish the opposite of what you want.
Imagine what this anon had to have sent to Ryan. I don't want to know. Also, imagine choosing the date scene as your favorite scene 🤣. Good on the answer though, it was I'm sure, humiliating to have to publicly explain that scene.
Wow. Thank you Nonny. :)
I have to admit, the eloquent way this person explains everything is incredible. They say all the things I've thought about, but might not have voiced so clearly in my previous posts.
So, I'm just going to leave this here for everyone to read. I encourage you all to take a look at it. It's highly interesting.
And again, please no hate on this post. I'm not posting this to mock anyone or to generate more hate.
I'm merely posting this because this is clearly written by a BT fan who has not been lead on by Lou's headcanons in his cameos. This person sees the show for what it. They see the way the story is unfolding and respectfully speaks their mind about it without any insults towards anyone else in the 911 fandom. I can appreciate that from anyone, no matter what they ship.
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