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neptuneiris · 10 months ago

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could you pretend to be in love? (06/10)

The Connection

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: an unexpected person from the past shows up and there is a family dinner to attend, resulting in disastrous thoughts and difficult decisions.

word count: 8.9k

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the chapter is finally here!

sorry it took me so long, if you didn't see my last post go do it and you'll know why👀 but we can put it behind us now and I'm excited to tell you that the next chapter will finally give us that next level we've been waiting for so long!

I really hope it won't take me that long but for now, let's enjoy this new chapter and as always, I'll be very anxious to read your comments🥰

enjoy!

The day of the dinner is slowly approaching.

And you still don't feel completely sure about it. However, despite your doubts and worries, you haven't backed out.

Mostly you think about what you're going to tell Aemond's mother by way of ruining things out of nervousness. Of course he should have already given her information about the relationship, but you're worried that she'll ask you questions and you won't know how to answer.

But that's not the reason she wants to get to know you… is it?

You think she probably just wants to know more about you, your likings, your non likings, your aspirations in life, your dreams, your family and things related to that.

Right?

You just hope so.

You've never done this before, meeting a guy's parents, ever. And you just get more nervous and feel more pressure knowing that Aegon and Helaena will be there too.

As well as you also feel guilty about the fact that they all think that you and Aemond are for real and you're just going to go there and convince them and assure them that you and Aemond are crazy about each other… when it's not true.

Now it's Thursday, tomorrow is dinner and Aemond doesn't seem at all concerned about it, when your thoughts are being completely tormented with it.

Still, you listen attentively to his words as you put away some books in your locker and he's standing next to you, leaning against the lockers, with the Romeo and Juliet book in his hands.

"Why did you make me read this shit? It's too hard to read and I don't like it," he says longingly.

You look away from your books to him and place a small amused smile on your lips at the sight of his face.

"It's like poetry and I don't like poetry, I don't understand it," he says frustrated, "I don't understand any of the weird rhyming they say."

"Well, Shakespeare has a unique way of expressing himself."

"Yeah, but what does he mean by 'My lips, two humble blazons, are ready to seal with a kiss softly'?" he recites reading the phrase with his brows furrowed and you let out a small laugh.

"Shakespeare loved beauty in words, even if it meant complicating things a bit."

"Yeah but why can't he just kiss her and be done with it without saying these weird words that give me cringe?"

"Come on," you give him an incredulous look, "It's romantic. The whole book is romantic with a tragic ending."

"This is definitely not romantic," he says incredulously and shaking his head, "It's weird, boring and makes me want to puke."

You look at him with a pout.

"You're not romantic at all."

"Excuse me?"

He immediately comes to defend himself, staring at you incredulously and completely indignant.

"I can be extremely romantic, thank you very much."

You raise your hands in a gesture of surrender, with a small smile as you see the spark of amusement in his gaze.

"You of all people should know that, you've witnessed it and you're the reason I do it mostly," he adds.

"But that's not… you know," you give him an expectant, knowing look.

"It's still romantic."

"No, it's not," you say with a laugh.

At your playful response, still busy at your locker, you don't notice and Aemond suddenly approaches. He takes your chin with one of his hands gently but firmly enough, causing you to look up at him, catching you off guard.

"What did you just say, my love?" he asks with a mischievous smile and amusement in his gaze, appearing serious and warning.

He brings his face closer to yours with a demanding gaze and your heart begins to pound as you let yourself be carried away by his proximity.

It is clear that he is going to kiss you, what does this mean if not kiss you? So you watch him expectantly and with your face lifted towards him, really looking forward to the sweet contact, your lips inches from his.

But first Aemond looks around briefly, wanting to make sure that some students in the hallway are watching you. When then, you see that he is overlooking a specific spot in the hallway.

You see how there is a slight glint in his eye and then he no longer moves.

You frown slightly, waiting. And before you can say or do anything, Aemond suddenly pulls away.

Confusion overtakes you and he clears his throat by averting his gaze, then smiles softly at you as if he wasn't about to kiss you seconds ago.

"Then I'll be more romantic next time," he says, taking his distance from you, as if trying to minimize the tense moment you've just shared.

Was he going to kiss you or not?

You can't just tell him to kiss you either, that he was going to, since this isn't real but… the change in his behavior confuses you, you don't quite understand what just happened and you don't know what to say.

"I have to go to the field now," he tells you, averting his gaze for a moment before looking at you again, "I'll see you in class, okay?"

"Hum… yeah, yeah, okay," you nod, still confused.

He gives you one last smile and before leaving, he gives your shoulder a light squeeze with his hand, another gesture that catches you off guard. Without a kiss on your forehead or cheek, as he usually does, he walks away.

You stand in the hallway, watching him go, with a mix of emotions you can't help but feel confused, uncertain and... disappointed.

Questions swirl around in your mind, but you don't have any answers. So shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you close your locker door and head to your next class.

Eventually you continue to run into him and he acts normal, as usual. He sits next to you in class, does the teacher's requested activities with you, and walks with you through the halls to the next class.

And everything is…normal, in a way.

Although he's still being kind and attentive, he's not being as affectionate as usual.

You can see how he's distracted, deep in thought from time to time, something is on his mind, something that you have no idea what it is but that keeps you alert, confused and makes you feel completely different from previous days.

You sense that the dynamic between you today has changed somehow, leaving you feeling bewildered.

And you don't know why.

Although it's not until break time that you find yourself sitting at a table alone, still feeling this awkwardness, when Alysanne comes in and drops the big bombshell on you that makes all the sense in the world.

"Why are you here eating so casually when I just saw your boyfriend catching up with his other ex-girlfriend?"

You raise your gaze to her almost instantly, with a mixture of surprise and confusion, a knot forming in your stomach as the weight of her words settle on your shoulders.

"What?"

"Yeah, Floris Baratheon," she says, then looks at you slightly confused, "How did you not know this?"

"What?" you repeat, not understanding.

"Floris Baratheon," she repeats to you slowly and clearly, "Dark hair, not as tall and certainly not as bitchy as Alys but still she falls into the category of girls who are superficial and think they are better than other girls," she explains to you.

Confusion lingers in your gaze, for despite the explanation, you still don't remember anything about a girl named Floris Baratheon at school.

"You really don't know who she is? Aemond didn't tell you about her?" asks Alysanne incredulously and your face answers her questions, "She transferred schools for a semester and just returned this morning. She and Aemond weren't actually dating but they had a thing when he and Alys broke up for like the twelfth time."

Your mind whirls as you process the information.

Honestly you had no idea about Floris' existence back in your invisibility days at school. Therefore, you also had no idea that she and Aemond had ever had any kind of relationship.

However… there is something you have an idea of at the moment.

This is why Aemond acted weird with you this morning, because of her. He must have seen her in the hallway and his demeanor changed completely.

"I-I didn't know that," you admit in a soft, low voice, trying to hide the uneasiness that is starting to creep up on you.

"Well, it's weird that Aemond didn't tell you anything, especially since I saw the two of them so comfortable and happy talking," she lets you know, "And I'm not telling you this with any malice or to make you feel bad, it's just that I think you should know, even though I thought you already knew."

You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling a surge of emotions wash over you that you can't quite explain, nor can you avoid.

You're not sure what to think or how to react to this, but one thing is for sure; things between you and Aemond are likely to get complicated.

But what can you really do?

You and he aren't really dating. What's the point of asking him about it when it's really none of your business? Besides if he didn't talk to you about it before, when he saw her, it must be for this very reason.

You have no right here, even if you feel this.

"Do you want to get out of here?" asks you Alysanne later, noticing your face and probably everything that is invading your mind.

And soon enough, she takes you to the rooftop of the school, outdoors, where you just sit and watch the sky and listen to her while she smokes a cigarette, talking to you about Cregan being around her lately.

But as much as you want to give her your full attention and corroborate what she is telling you, you can't.

The rest of the classes are without Aemond, since you don't share them with him, and when the school day ends, still not knowing exactly whether to wait for him to drive you home or not, you head for the exit of the building, deep in thought.

"Hey."

You feel a hand grab your shoulder and when you turn your head without stopping moving forward, you find Aemond standing next to you.

"Hi," you reply softly, turning your gaze back to the front.

And he at your side gives you an attentive, curious and slightly confused look.

"Are you okay? I didn't see you at break," he says softly, "I also texted you and you didn't respond."

"Oh," your mind goes blank for a moment, "I was with Alysanne on the roof. She was talking to me about some things."

"Hmm," he nods, still watching you between a mixture of attentive and curious.

Then the two of you say nothing more, with the silence loud between the two of you and that tension emanating from your body, when you speak again.

"Are you going to drive me home today?" you decide to ask him, watching him, with that hesitation in your tone of voice and look.

And he frowns, watching you blankly.

"I always drive you."

You are about to speak but a third voice does it for you, stopping your steps and also Aemond's.

"Aem!"

The two turn their heads and there she is, Floris Baratheon.

Black hair, brown eyes, slender and absolutely beautiful features. She approaches with a smile, showing off her perfect, aligned teeth.

Everything about her screams money, as well as elegance, from her perfectly coiffed hair to her impeccable designer clothes and accessories.

And the moment she catches both your attention and Aemond's, you notice how he beside you tenses slightly.

"Hey," she gives him a charming smile and her full attention, placing herself in front of him, "The guys are going to get something to eat, I was just told. Do you want to join us? We can take off in your car and catch up some more."

"Hum…" he is silent for a moment, shooting you a nervous glance, scratching the back of his neck.

And throwing you another glance, this finally catches Floris' attention and she notices your presence as well.

"Oh… hi," she smiles softly at you.

Despite your nerves and how uncomfortable you're starting to feel, you force yourself to smile as kindly and genuinely as possible.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you," she tells you in an exaggeratedly kind tone of voice.

And this too finally gets Aemond to react.

"Yeah, right, that's my fault," he says trying to act nonchalant and completely relaxed, "Floris, this is Y/N, m-my girlfriend."

You watch as she parts her lips and her surprise is evident as she looks at Aemond and then turns her attention back to you.

"I-I didn't find the moment to tell you."

You instantly observe Aemond, with a look that even you can't explain and he suddenly can't control his nervous gestures anymore, giving a wary glance to you and then to Floris.

"Oh."

She turns her gaze back to you and though she tries to hide her surprise, the strength of her smile seems a bit forced as she holds out her hand to you.

"I'm Floris, nice to meet you."

And within everything you're feeling right now, like awkwardness and feeling out of place, you still shake your hand with hers.

"Nice to meet you."

Tension is in the air and Aemond looks hesitant for a moment. And you continue to feel like an intruder between them, getting in between the interaction of two people sharing a history you don't fully know about.

When Aemond speaks again.

"Floris is my…

He tries to tell you, but his words are left floating in the air.

Suddenly you see how he struggles and searches his mind for a way to introduce you to the girl he had a thing with in the past, only according to him, you don't know that, when certainly Alysanne already took care of it.

And just like you, you too feel Floris' anticipation, waiting for him to introduce her.

"An old friend," he finally says.

Floris arches an eyebrow slightly at Aemond's introduction, her lips curving into a smile that seems to contain more than just politeness.

"Yes, that," she punctuates, with a knowing look that to you does not go unnoticed, "Well, I just wanted to know if you were free for this afternoon. Although if you want you can bring your girlfriend with us," she proposes.

Aemond takes a moment to respond, averting his gaze as he scratches the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.

And that's when you decide to speak.

"You can go with them," you tell him and that immediately gets his attention and hers, "I can just take the bus or something and I'll see you later," you say to start walking away from both of them.

His attention and slight surprise is most visible on his face, but before you can move too far away, he grabs your hand and advances towards you.

"What? No" he immediately inquires, "No, I'll take you home."

The determination in his tone of voice and in his gaze makes you feel a little more comforted, but still, you can't shake this uneasiness in you about Floris' presence.

And that's when Aemond turns to her again without letting go of your hand.

"Sorry Floris, another time," he tells her in his firmer, slightly strained voice.

And she nods with a sympathetic look, though you can't help but sense there's something else behind her expression.

"Of course, I understand, it'll be for next time then," she says, before turning to you, "It was nice meeting you, Y/N."

And finally she is the first to walk away.

You exchange a look you can't quite describe with Aemond and feel the awkwardness and seriousness linger between the two of you, even as the two of you leave the building and make your way to his car.

And once in the passenger seat and with Aemond driving through the city streets, you find yourself fiddling with your fingers in your lap, still feeling the awkwardness in the air.

You don't understand exactly what's got you right now but you can't even see Aemond out of the corner of your eye, so you keep your gaze focused straight ahead and on the side where the window is.

"Are you okay?"

You suddenly hear his voice speak softly to you, feeling his gaze on you from time to time and you squirm a little in your seat before you speak, swallowing hard.

"Yeah, all good," you say, trying to sound convincing.

He exhales deeply, noticing your distance again.

"I'm sorry if the Floris thing made you uncomfortable. S-she…" he sighs, "She's truly a childhood friend. We had something in the past but it was very brief and it's no longer relevant."

And although there is nothing wrong with his words, you still can't help but feel a slight knot in your stomach. And you act completely unconcerned.

"I understand," you say simply, in a soft voice and still without looking at him.

But this is not convincing to Aemond, who licks his lips and can't help but worry about the situation.

"I mean it."

"Aemond," you call him softly, finally looking at him, "I understand, I really do," you assure him, "I also meant it when I said you should go eat with her and your friends. You seemed very uncomfortable and there was no problem from me."

He nods slowly, but still looks a little uneasy.

"I just didn't expect I was going to see her again."

And you don't know if that's worse.

"Are you ready?"

Oh God, are you?

"I don't know," you answer honestly, nervously, looking at your outfit.

For this occasion you chose a pair of pants, ankle boots and a white tank top with a black jacket over it. You don't look overdressed but decent for the occasion, along with your makeup and hairstyle.

"Hey, easy," he says softly, placing both hands on your shoulders, "It's going to be okay. Besides we won't be alone, Aegon and Hel will be with us."

"Yeah but that's not what I'm worried about," you clarify, playing with your fingers, "What if I ruin everything?" you ask watching him fearfully, "What if everyone realizes that we're not really dating because of me?"

"I'll take care of that, don't worry," he assures you, with his soft gaze, "You just have to corroborate everything I say and stick to the main story. Other than that, my mother will just ask you questions about you to get to know you better."

"Are you sure?" you ask, not entirely convinced.

"Very," he affirms you, conveying calmness and assurance in his voice.

"You've done this before?" you can't help but ask, still with some hesitation, "I mean…" you lick your lips, nervous, "You've brought a girl before to dinner with your family?"

He is silent for a moment, as if considering how to answer, as the implication is clear because that's not the real question, you know that too.

Rather it is: have you ever brought Alys to dinner with your family before?

"Yes," he finally admits in a murmur, sincerely, "Yes, I have."

You stare at him silently, without the two of you saying anything else, only to look away and nod, again trying to look unconcerned, trying to calm your nerves further.

"My mother never liked her," he says later, again attracting your attention, "You know, Alys."

Again, you say nothing for a few moments, just lick your lips and nod.

"I understand."

Aemond lets out a heavy breath and takes a step towards you, lowering one of his hands to take one of yours, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of yours, this also immediately catching your attention, as you see him looking at you for a moment thoughtfully.

"Are you ready now?" he asks you softly, raising his gaze to you, "We can stay here a while longer if you want."

"No," you reply immediately, "No, I don't want to make everyone wait for us," you release a long breath, calming your nerves, "I'm ready now."

He places a small comforting smile on his lips.

"You'll do fine, trust me," he assures you then moves closer to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, just like at school.

His action definitely catches you off guard and you look at him slightly surprised, but Aemond doesn't give it that much importance, as if it was already a natural and routine thing between both of you, like a gesture of encouragement, to then take you by the hand together with him to the entrance of his house.

His house is nice and big, with a beautiful garden, so when you open the door, you see a huge and cozy living room with the dining room visible in the background, where you can make out Aegon's figure and his short silver hair.

Aemond closes the door behind you and you briefly look around, seeing the decorations of the elegant house, such as mirrors, flowers vases and also family photos.

Mostly, you see pictures of young children, which you recognize as Helaena, Aemond, Aegon and his other brother, Daeron.

There are also photos of what you assume is their mother and also a man, who you assume is the father, with Aemond and his siblings as children. But it strikes you that none of the four are smiling, just the mom a little.

There are more current pictures, only of Aemond, Helaena and Aegon smiling next to their mother, with no trace of their father and Daeron.

"He's my younger brother," he takes a single photo of a boy, standing next to you and handing it to you, "Daeron."

And just as you imagined, he's a boy of about fifteen with striking blue eyes and short silver hair, smiling at the camera with a bright face and looking in the background like he's standing in a lake at Honeyholt.

"Helaena was right," you say with a small smile, still inspecting the photo, "He really is the handsomest of the three of you."

"That's not true," he tells you immediately, taking the photo out of your hands and putting it back in its place with a quick, automatic gesture, making you laugh.

"What's up, bro?"

You both hear Aegon's voice and turn around, with the silver-haired man already walking towards you with a bottle of beer in his hand and a huge grin on his face.

"Are you drinking already?" Aemond inquires, "Mom's going to kill you."

"Oh, you know how persuasive I can be," he tells him without wiping off his smile, "Besides, I've already set the table," he points to the dining room, "It's dinner, bro."

"Careful," he warns you but he deliberately ignores him, heading in your direction.

"Y/N!" he exclaims your name smiling, coming over to embrace you, "Welcome to our home."

"Hi Aegon," you smile back at him.

He envelops you in a hug and you reciprocate cordially, instantly the strong smell of beer reaching your nostrils.

"Want one?" he points to the beer in his hand as he pulls away from you.

"I don't think so," Aemond answers him, again intertwining his hand with yours, "Where's mom?"

"In the kitchen with Hel" he points out, "Tell them to hurry, I'm starving," he says in a tone of voice that catches your attention.

But Aemond pulls you forward, starting to leave him behind, with a serious and disapproving look at his brother's attitude.

"It's the beer," he explains to you quietly, "I hate it when he drinks at home. I just hope it doesn't get unbearable later."

"Why?" you ask him, curious.

He shakes his head.

"Aegon is… complicated."

He doesn't say anything else and neither do you, mostly because he leads you toward the kitchen, but curiosity still lingers on that subject.

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in a supportive gesture that comforts you as you both cross the threshold into the kitchen, where instantly the smell of delicious freshly baked food hits your nostrils.

And the first thing you notice is a silver hair along with a darker one, who you assume must be Aemond's mother.

And immediately your nerves again explode and you feel your heart pounding hard in your chest.

"Hey, Y/N!"

A friendly voice says to you, being Helaena, who is wiping her hands with a clean dish towel and wearing a beautiful blue dress, instantly heading towards you with open arms.

"Hi Hel," you smile back happily, hugging her enthusiastically.

"Oh I'm so happy you're in our home," she says excitedly and warmly without letting go of you, "We've prepared turkey, I hope you like it," she says as she pulls away from you.

"Oh I'm sure it will," you nod at her with a sincere smile, feeling welcomed by the warmth of her welcome.

"Mom."

Aemond's voice momentarily pulls you out of your conversation with Helaena and you turn your head to meet the gaze of Alicent, Aemond's mother.

Instantly you try to control your nerves and keep your composure, remembering his comforting words.

And when Alicent's gaze meets yours, a warm smile forms on his lips, which makes you feel less nervous and conveys a sense of calm. Although the nervousness lingers, you feel a little more secure with his kindness.

Aemond places a comforting hand on your shoulder and steps forward to introduce you.

"This is my girlfriend, Y/N," he points to you with his small smile, "And Y/N, this is my mom, Alicent."

She is a very beautiful woman.

It's the first thing that comes to your mind, noting the dimples in her cheeks and that warm look she has, not being intimidating at all and being rather kind.

Besides the dark green dress she wears is completely beautiful, as well as her accessories. Everything about her radiates elegance and poise.

"A pleasure to finally meet you, my dear," she says, turning to you, "Gosh, I was so excited to meet you. It's so nice of you to come."

And without expecting it, just like Helaena, she too greets you with a hug, taking you completely off guard, causing you to let out a nervous little laugh as you hug her back.

"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Hightower," you say softly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by her kindness and warmth.

"Please call me Alicent," she says as she pulls away from you.

Before all this you asked Aemond what to call her, just for the heck of it and to feel less nervous and he told you 'Hightower', the last name of her father.

So you assume that Aemond's father is not someone who gets mentioned much around here. In the family photos he is present in only one picture. And Aemond doesn't talk about him either.

And he watches with a small smile at the interaction between you and his mother, feeling relieved that things are going well so far.

"Please go and take your seats. Dinner will be served soon," she says to Aemond and you.

"Do you need help?" he asks her.

"I'm already doing it myself," Hel says, "Don't worry, little brother."

"Can you help me with your brother, please," Alicent tells him, with a look of slight concern.

"Of course," he assures her in a gentle tone.

Soon the two of you return to the dining room, the two of you take a seat together with Aegon and Aemond tries to tell him not to overdo it with his drinks, that you are here to enjoy a nice dinner with his family.

But he just makes nonchalant gestures and tells him that everything is fine, to continue drinking, looking at the screen of his phone, waiting for dinner.

Then you don't know how much time passes exactly but Alicent returns very soon along with Helaena with the food, placing the dishes in the center of the table, indicating that all this will start soon.

Aemond places his hand on top of yours underneath the table, giving you every supportive gesture possible, reassuring you at every turn that he can that all will be fine.

Every brush of his fingers against yours conveys reassurance and comfort.

You feel a slight relief as you feel his touch, reminding you that you are not alone at this moment and his presence gives you strength to face any nervousness that may arise during dinner.

And with the food finally served, the silverware begins to clink against the plate glass as everyone begins to enjoy the delicious dinner.

Aemond, like the supposed boyfriend in love with you, is totally attentive to you, asking if you're served this or that, wanting to make sure you're well received and comfortable to make this more bearable.

And you thank him all the way, feeling his mother's gaze on both of you from time to time, without wiping away her warm smile.

"Did you like the food, dears?" she asks generally.

"Oh yes," Helaena says with a look of total complicity, delighting in the food.

"It's delicious, Mom," Aemond tells her later.

"Totally," you corraborate politely, nodding in her direction.

Alicent smiles in satisfaction and then turns her attention to Aegon, who hasn't said anything since everyone started eating.

"How about you, son?" she asks him softly.

"It's fine," he says curtly, taking a huge swig from his bottle of beer.

This definitely gets your attention but Alicent as well as Aemond and Helaena decide not to give it enough attention, as if they're already used to it and don't want to ruin the moment by his behavior.

But you do notice the disapproval in each of their looks, especially the disappointment in Alicent. Though she almost instantly turns her attention away from Aegon to Aemond and you.

"So, how long have you two been dating exactly?" she asks curiously and without losing the kindness in her gaze and tone.

"A month," Aemond replies without hesitation at your side, resting one of his arms on the back of your chair.

And Alicent shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.

"And I still can't believe he kept you hidden from me, Y/N."

You smile in his direction, trying not to let your nerves give you away, as Aemond again interjects, with a soft look.

"We didn't want to rush things."

"I told him not to take too long to tell you," Helaena says as well, pointing at Aemond as she watches her mother.

"But he didn't tell me anything, Aegon did," Alicent says in amusement.

"Oh come on, I was going to tell you anyway," Aemond tries to justify himself.

"Oh you were going to?" Hel questions him.

"You want to turn her against me."

"I'm just telling the truth, little brother."

This causes Alicent to laugh softly and his gaze meets yours, where you laugh softly too, as the fight between Aemond and Hel continues. But this causes you to begin to feel comfortable and more at ease with the whole situation.

The only thing at the table that is completely serious is Aegon, who continues to concentrate on his drink and the food in front of him.

His reserved attitude contrasts with the energy you have with Aemond, his mother and sister, but they don't really give him much attention and everyone continues to enjoy the delicious food and create topics of conversation.

"So…" Alicent begins to speak, watching you with her warm gaze, "What are your college plans, sweetie?"

Oh my God.

Okay, it's happening.

You think as you slowly start to panic, but quickly get yourself under control, settling back in your seat.

"You're all graduating soon," she points to her kids with a small smile.

And you're about to speak but someone else does first.

"Which wouldn't be the case if Aegon hadn't repeated year… twice," Hel says condescendingly, pouring herself more food in a casual gesture.

"Helaena," Alicent reprimands her in a soft tone.

"Don't start with me."

Aegon's voice finally makes itself heard in a long time, speaking in a cold, curt tone, not even observing his sister, focused on his food.

"Just saying," Helaena says also with a pout in his direction.

"Then speak for yourself. You're a year behind too."

"Ugh," she sighs, "You talk like you don't know what happened."

"That's enough," Alicent says calmly, watching you both with a look of silent warning.

The atmosphere tenses slightly and all is silent for a moment, as you notice how Aemond next to you only runs a hand over his chin and you only hear the clink of silverware clattering against glass plates.

Alicent then turns his gaze to you and there you decide to speak, hoping to restore comfort to the atmosphere.

"Well, actually, I've applied to Oldtown University," you say with a soft smile, controlling your nerves, "I'm planning on getting into law school."

Surprise flashes across Alicent's face, as you briefly feel Aemond watching you beside you.

"Oh, wow," she nods slowly, her expression one of amazement, "What a coincidence, that's the same college Aemond wants to go to."

Aemond nods with a small smile, completely keeping up appearances.

"Yes," he confirms, "In fact it's perfect for us to go to the same place after graduation."

And just to show more affection with you, he places his hand and yours intertwined on top of the table, watching you with that 'love' he seeks to convey in these moments in front of his mother.

And Alicent watches you both with her soft smile, but is still intrigued by you.

"And why that choice? Law is something you always wanted to study?" she asks you, with genuine interest in her voice.

You try not to focus too much on the way Aemond's thumb begins to gently caress the skin on the back of your hand, which at the same time also reassures you.

And you nod in Alicent's direction.

"Yes, it's something I've always been interested in. It's a very heavy degree with very dense material, but it's very interesting and it's long been what I've decided for myself."

Alicent nods in your direction, listening to you intently and looking completely interested.

"And I guess at Oldtown it's a great opportunity to want to study law."

"Oh yes," you say eagerly, "Oldtown has one of the best faculties with very capable professors and all the material you need. It's certainly a great opportunity."

"But I also think that getting to study at such an in-demand university with few places in that major can be difficult," she tells you corroborating in conversation.

"Yeah, that's the bad thing, but…" you shrug, "I'm hopeful."

You watch subtly beside you, focusing for a moment on Aemond, speaking with that complicit tone, as of course he doesn't forget that the reason you're here doing this is precisely because of Oldtown.

He knows that all too well too.

"And your parents are supportive of your decision to study law?"

Slight surprise passes across your face, definitely not expecting that question, but you quickly manage to soften your face, though you still remain silent for a moment.

You try to hide any trace of bewilderment as you search for a suitable answer. And it is Alicent's same warm gaze that encourages you to respond.

"Uh… yes, my father is just as excited as I am about this possible opportunity," you reply with a small smile, being honest, "He has always supported me in all my decisions."

You respond without saying anything else and with sincerity, not mentioning anything about your mother.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he nods at you and smiles warmly, "And what about your mother, dear?" she asks with genuine curiosity.

Inevitably your whole body tenses at that moment. And an uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you think again about how to respond.

You honestly didn't expect the conversation to get to this point, about how even after talking only about your father, you're still being asked about your mother.

And for a moment, you don't know what to say or what to do, but you finally decide to react after everything falls into an awkward silence and they begin to look at you slightly confused by your lack of response.

Until you decide to be honest.

"Well, I-I…" you bite your lips, "I don't actually live with her," you admit in a soft voice, avoiding eye contact for a moment, "And I haven't seen her since I was six."

Slight concern crosses Alicent's face, instantly watching you in regret.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie," she says sincerely, embarrassed to have caused you discomfort, "I had no idea. I apologize."

You're about to tell her it's okay, that it's no problem because she didn't know, that it's no big deal, but you don't even get a chance to speak when sudden laughter is heard throughout the dining room.

The tension in the air dissipates in that instant as everyone turns to the source of the laughter, Aegon.

He is visibly drunk, but still conscious enough to know what is going on around him and that is what is alarming.

Alicent, Helaena and Aegon's faces fill with bewilderment and disapproval, except for yours, as you watch Aegon in confusion, not quite understanding what is going on.

"Aegon," Alicent calls to him now truly annoyed, watching him seriously and reproachfully.

But Aegon barely manages to contain his laughter as he apologizes between laughs.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he mutters, his tone full of amusement and insolence.

Then Aemond at your side watches him completely serious, his jaw clenched and his gaze dark, holding back his fury at his reaction after you shared a very intimate and sensitive piece of information to you.

And Aegon laughs at it because of his own stupidity? Of course he's not going to allow that.

"What's so funny?" he inquires, expectant and about to explode.

Aegon straightens in his chair, a smirk on his face.

"Oh, nothing," he replies mockingly, "I just think she and you are perfect for each other. Apparently, we're not the only ones who have parental issues, are we?"

He asks watching his mother and sister, which makes Alicent feel even more tense, watching you worried and apologetic about the little show her eldest son is putting on.

"That's enough," she reprimands him firmly.

But Aegon seems determined to move on and turns to you again with a gesture of camaraderie, ignoring his mother's words and his brother's attitude.

"Don't worry, Y/N," he tells you with a crooked smile, "You can talk about it here and no one will judge you. All of us would understand, wouldn't we? We who wouldn't know about the subject of fucking neglectful parents with their kids."

Aemond's gaze becomes even more intense and his jaw tighter, watching his brother as if he could throw daggers at him with his eye.

"Shut the fuck up," he orders him, controlling himself as much as he can at that moment.

"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him worriedly.

"Or what?" Aegon challenges him, "She better know what she's getting herself into once and for all. With our fucking family traumatized by her own father who never cared about us."

"I said shut the fuck up," Aemond demands of him rising from his chair, causing everyone at the table to become alarmed.

Alicent rises at about the same time he does, and Helaena rises next, alert and worried, while you and Aegon continue to sit, he still unconcerned and you… because you don't even know how to feel about it.

The tension is too much, this is all unexpected and it's all happening too fast. And as if things couldn't get any worse, Aegon continues to talk and drink more.

"I'm just saying you two are the perfect match," he continues, his tone increasingly amused, "She doesn't have a mom and you don't have a dad, bro. Awesome, isn't it?"

Then it all happens too fast.

Aemond advances towards Aegon with a furious determination on his face that puts everyone at the table on alert, reaches towards him and grabs him hard by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to get up.

"Aemond!"

Alicent and Helaena immediately intervene, rushing towards them to stop them, but Aegon doesn't even have time to react before he finds himself on his feet, with Aemond holding him tightly.

"Stop it, Aemond!" exclaims Alicent, his tone full of authority and concern.

You finally rise from your seat as well, alert and worried, not knowing exactly what to do or what to say, feeling your pulse racing.

Then Aegon reacts as well, his face transforming into one of rage, placing his hands on top of his brother's.

"Get your fucking hands off me," he manages to say with difficulty.

"I told you to shut the fuck up or didn't I?"

"Oh and now you're going to hit me? Huh?" he asks, punching him in the chest with his hands, "You're going to hit me? And for what? For telling the truth?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you huh!? You fucking cunt," Aemond hits him back in the chest.

"Let go of me, you fucking asshole!"

"That's enough!" Alicent intervenes again, her voice firm and full of authority, "Aemond, let go right now!" she orders, furious, implying that she won't repeat it a fourth time.

The tension in the room seems to increase with each passing moment, as you hold your breath, watching Aemond worriedly, as does Helaena.

Aemond hesitates for a moment, glaring at his brother with determination, until he finally releases him with a tug, pulling away from him still watching him in warning and utter annoyance.

Aegon straightens, rubbing his neck as he glares at his brother resentfully.

"I don't need this shit. Enjoy your fucking dinner," he says grumpily, grabbing his bottle of beer and heading for the stairs, not giving anyone a glance.

At least your pulse starts to calm down when you see how it's finally all over, but you still watch Aemond worriedly.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Alicent turns to you sorrowfully, averting your gaze to her, "What a shame."

"No, no, don't worry…

You start to say in a soft tone when Aemond's serious but definitely kinder voice makes itself heard in your direction.

"I'll wait outside."

The three of you watch him silently and watch as with nonchalant gestures he takes his car keys from his front pocket and with his face still contained in fury, heads out of the house.

With a lump in your throat, you turn to Alicent and Helaena, feeling the weight of tension still hanging in the air even so.

"Thank you so much for dinner. It was nice to meet you," you say to Alicent, trying to sound as calm, gentle and kind as possible.

Alicent smiles sadly back at you, still with her saddened and troubled face.

"It was lovely to meet you and have you come, honey," she tells you sincerely, "Still I'm so sorry. It wasn't my plan for dinner to end like this."

"I totally understand, don't worry," you say with a small smile, "We can always do it again."

You say and immediately regret it, but manage to soften your face in time.

This was supposed to be the only time you would do this, but you feel you owe it to her, to Alicent, as she prepared a delicious dinner with great care. She seemed so excited and happy about everything, especially about you coming that it is such a shame that this happened.

More than anything else that's why you say so.

"Of course," she nods to you, kindly and cordially.

You bid her goodbye with a gentle hug, then embrace Helaena as well, conveying your silent support through the simple gesture.

"If you need to talk, we can do it at school," she murmurs in your ear before releasing you.

"Sure," you promise, returning the hug gratefully.

You take one last look at both of them and head out of the house. And once outside, you feel a shiver run down your spine as you face the cool night air.

And there you see him, in the middle of the night silence and at the edge of the street, leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette with an almost absent gesture, looking thoughtful but also still a little upset about what happened.

You watch as he lets the smoke go between his parted lips and you, letting out a long breath, head towards him.

When he looks back at you, you too just watch him silently and he wordlessly opens the driver's door with a soft squeak and gets in the car, so you follow after him, feeling the weight of silence between you.

You too slide into the passenger seat and close the door, where soon the two of you find yourselves moving through the quiet streets of the city, the music on the radio playing at a low volume in the background.

And that's the only sound between you, the music, and even then it's a little uncomfortable.

You bite the inside of your cheek, struggling to find the right words as the tension lingers, but you don't even know what to say. What are you supposed to say when that happened?

But finally it's Aemond who breaks the silence.

"I hope you enjoyed the show," he murmurs, not taking his eye off the road.

You are momentarily speechless, not knowing what to say at that, not even finding the right words in your mind. Then you let out a low sigh, understanding how he must be feeling.

You mean… you went to meet his mother, it was a family dinner, everything was going well and to suddenly have it all end like that with very personal confessions that you had no idea about… it must be completely frustrating for him that you witnessed that.

"Are you okay?" you ask him in a low, soft tone, watching him intently, concerned and understanding.

He lets out a long breath, pursing his lips as he considers your answer, saying nothing for a moment. But when he finally does, he says it in a voice laden with weariness, regret and seriousness.

"I'm not even upset that Aegon said all that… he… he's right," he says resentfully, "I'm upset that you had to witness it."

The weight of his words falls on you, sensing Aemond's seriousness and frustration in his words. You watch his serious and weary face, the fury he is still holding back.

And for a moment, you look like you're not going to say anything, but after biting your lips, you finally speak.

"You don't have to worry about me," you tell him in a soft voice, "After all, he was right about what he said about my mother too," you add, seeking to offer some comfort, "I don't even remember her, you know? And honestly… it doesn't affect me nor do I care."

If your words caused anything in him, he doesn't show it, as he continues with his eye focused on the road.

But inside, he can't help but feel a little surprised and amazed at your ability to accept those circumstances with such calm and determination compared to him.

And finally he nods, understanding the truth of your words.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper.

You watch him with a soft and… slightly thoughtful gaze, feeling the tension between the two of you finally begin to fade, resulting in a warm and pleasant atmosphere for the two of you, as usual.

And unexpectedly for him, you take his free hand gently and intertwine your fingers with his, offering a small gesture of support amidst still the frustration he is feeling.

"I don't," you confess softly.

You don't say anything else and neither does he, hoping you can put this behind you. And all along the way, he keeps gently stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.

You wait anxiously, moving your foot repeatedly up and down, glancing from time to time at your surroundings and also at the screen of your phone, wanting to keep the time very much in mind.

The gentle morning breeze caresses your face, with the sun painting golden hues in the morning sky and listening in the background to the birds singing, but also all the movement of the soccer team training early at this hour from the field.

Everything seems to be calm, except for your racing heartbeat, where you avoid biting your nails and simply bite your lips in a nervous gesture, as well as the inside of your cheek.

Then you finally see Aemond approaching with his backpack on his shoulder and his face soft.

"Hey," he says softly, taking a seat in front of you, taking off his backpack and watching you carefully, "What's up? Is everything okay?"

Out of nerves, your whole body tenses and you avoid stuttering as you speak, stirring in your seat.

"Yeah, yeah, just…" you lower your gaze, playing with your fingers, "I just want to talk to you about something."

Aemond nods, giving you his full attention.

"Well? What is it?" he asks you warmly, not wanting to put pressure on you as he notices all the tension that is invading you at the moment.

But he honestly starts to worry seeing you that way.

And you swallow hard, with your gaze lowered, feeling the need to just let it out and nothing more, having that urge so you don't keep torturing yourself with your destructive thoughts.

"I was thinking that… maybe…" you let out a sigh, "Maybe we should stop this," you mutter, your voice barely a whisper.

And Aemond only watches you more intently, beginning to look alert, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Stop what?"

You bite the inside of your cheek hard, completely flustered.

"Our fake relationship," you reply cautiously, watching him intently and with some concern.

"What?" he immediately queries you, "I-I don't-I don't understand."

"I think we've both accomplished what we wanted to… oh well, almost everything," you tell him knowingly, "But we've already put on a good show in front of the whole school, Alys is upset enough, and the cheating thing is behind us. We should stop."

You explain but in the middle of all your explanation, Aemond only frowns more, listening to you completely attentive, watching you surprised and incredulous.

"And the trip to Dragonstone?" he inquires you, with a serious and alert look, "That trip is key, it would be great for both of us to go together, as a couple."

You try to remain calm, but your heart is pounding and your nerves are getting the better of you.

"Yes, I know, but… do we really need to keep pretending?" you ask, "You've already saved your reputation, remember?"

Aemond shakes his head firmly, his jaw tense with mounting frustration.

"It's still not enough," he tells you seriously, "At least wait until after the trip."

"Aemond, I don't see why we should wait until then," you mutter, unsure, "We can finish everything now."

Aemond's expression hardens, his jaw tense with frustration as he tries to understand you.

"Y/N, the trip is in the contract," he tells you firmly, "And we agreed to finish everything until graduation."

You exhale, feeling the overwhelming weight of the situation that you didn't expect was going to get this bad the moment you decided to do this.

"I know, but I don't see the point of this anymore."

He becomes more confused, shaking his head, looking at you confused and now completely frustrated.

"What-what's wrong?" he asks you in a soft but urgent voice, attentive, "Did something happen?" he asks you concerned and interested, "Did something happen that I still don't know about?"

Oh God.

Fear grips you as you struggle to keep your composure and not let your nerves get the better of you.

"Or is this because of the dinner thing? And because of Alys' pranks?" he asks you worriedly, "If it's that, tell me. I-I'll find a way to fix it. You won't have to go to dinner at my house again and I'm sure I can talk to Alys."

"No, no… I-I…" you sigh, "It's not that-

He shrugs, looking at you confused and frustrated.

"Then what is it?"

Your heart pounds as you struggle to keep your composure in front of him.

Your words get stuck in your throat, enduring Aemond's still serious, worried and frustrated look on you, waiting for an explanation. But the feeling of panic grows in your chest and you resign yourself completely.

"Nothing, forget it," you say in a whisper, lowering your gaze.

You stand up and gather your things, slinging your backpack over your shoulder, just as Aemond sighs and looks more frustrated.

"Y/N," he calls your name in a tired gesture.

But you don't heed him, just focus on getting away from him,

"Y/N, please stop," he says to you in a soft but urgent voice.

But you don't stop, you can't.

How could you do it and how could you tell him that the real reason you decided to bring this up to your fake boyfriend is because maybe you are actually falling in love with him and the feeling is getting more and more intense, and you can't help it?

You just can't.

general taglist:

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @iloveallmyboys

#aemond targaryen #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond x reader #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond one eye #aemond x y/n #modern aemond

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hellkeepers-if · 1 year ago

Text

DEMO (prologue out) UPDATES

Set in an alternate version of Singapore, you're a fresh university graduate bumbling through life as you desperately look for a job.

...Or that's what your mother thinks. In a world where occult ceremonies are as common as an existential crisis, there's no way you were ever going to be a perfectly average office worker. Just like your twin brother, you work for the International Society Of Exorcists (ISOE) which deals with supernatural occurrences, demonic rituals, and the like.

When a tragic event befalls your older sister, it uproots your entire life and everything you ever knew about the supernatural. With it, comes a forced need to come to terms with a family history straight out of the movies.

After all, how the hell did it take twenty years to find out that you're descended from the freaking king of the underworld?

"I have a duty to myself, but more importantly, my family."

——————

Inspired by Supernatural, Fullmetal Alchemist, Noragami, and the Percy Jackson series, Hellkeepers is a +18 urban fantasy/paranormal interactive fiction, involving elements of Chinese and Southeast-Asian mythology. In every playthrough, you will...

• Play as a female, male, or non-binary Chinese demigod/ess.

• Determine the relationships between you and your family members. After all, they will play a big part in your story...

• Peel apart the full truth behind you and your siblings' birthright. Your parents can't hide it forever.

• Learn more about Chinese and Southeast Asian mythology as you warp into different dimensions, unlike anything you've seen before.

• Learn more about who you were in your past life.

| Nishimura Kazuo (he/him)

Age: 26

Ethnicity: Japanese

With a penchant for mischief and a charm that woos even the most stubborn of grandmas, Kazu is the wildcard of your organization. You think he's an anarchist, and the only reason he's tied down to the ISOE is so that he has an excuse for whatever havoc he wreaks on the supernatural.

The A-ranked exorcist is your colleague and your brother's mentor, though you rarely ever see him in his office. But if you ever need him for demon fighting, he'll be there. Most of the time.

"Mind taking that pesky thing out for me while I take a quick nap?"

| Quentin Khanh (Quan) (he/him)

Age: 25

Ethnicity: Vietnamese

Quentin, more affectionately known as Quan, was your childhood friend. After he moved overseas, the weekly texts you sent him fizzled into nothing but a lost friendship.

Since then, he's returned to Singapore as a forensics pathologist and researcher under your organisation. Whether you like it or not, you have to no choice but to work with him for most of your investigations.

"If your bribe doesn't involve a penthouse worth of money, don't talk to me."

| Reyna Aliyah Santos (she/her)

Age: 23

Ethnicity: Mixed (Filipino-Chinese)

You've never quite met someone like Reyna. A halfling with a demon mother and a human father. Being raised in Singapore all her life with little knowledge of her parents, it's natural that Reyna would come to the ISOE for help at the mere instance of a fox tail and white fur.

You've been tasked to help her mask and get comfortable with her supernatural powers, but she won't make it easy for you. After all, foxes do bite.

"Technically, I'm not stealing anything if they don't notice."

| Song Huayun (she/her)

Age: ????

Ethnicity: "Uhh...from Hell?" Chinese

| You don't know too much about Huayun, except for the fact that she lives in Diyu, the Chinese Underworld. As Diyu's gatekeeper, Huayun has seen countless depravities committed by humans before their deaths. That alone has made it hard for her to like them, and the contempt she shows you is no different than what she shows everyone else.

But with time, maybe she'll finally learn what it is like to feel human…and what a smile is.

"If it isn't the star of tonight's show. Welcome to Diyu."

| The Arbiter of Fate (m/f)

Theyre a stranger, or so you say. But this deity knows everyone...especially you.

#interactive fiction #interactive novel #interactive game #choice of games #adult fiction #dashingdon #cog wip #if wip #if recs #upcoming if #urban fantasy #hellkeepers if

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slaymitchabernathy · 19 days ago

Text

Cruel Intentions

| based off the man requests i have gotten for a new arranged marriage series!!! |

Coriolanus often wonders how he missed it. How it slipped his mind, how he was so naive, so stupid to miss it.

He thinks back to their wedding day, how sweet she was, how well behaved and perfect she was. To him, it made total sense, she was perfect because he deserved someone perfect, someone to devote their life to making him happy.

After all, Snow lands on top.

So he gave her his last name, slipped the ring on her finger, smiled for the photos, cut the cake, and whisked her away to his penthouse that would forever be her home.

The ring on his finger now feels like a ball and chain and he wants nothing more than to rip it off and toss it into the trash.

Three months ago Coriolanus Snow married Soarynn Nightingale. It was an arranged marriage, nothing new in the Capitol's elite circles who intended on keeping their circles small and exclusive. Why risk your son or daughter marrying out of their tax bracket when you can just arrange the whole thing?

Coriolanus met Soarynn at a dinner with both their parents, or well, his parents and her father. Apparently, her mother tragically passed away during childbirth, leaving Glen Nightingale with a baby girl and not a clue as to how to raise her. But he did good, he raised a polite, quiet, submissive daughter who conformed to all societal norms without the blink of an eye.

She was perfect.

Or so he thought.

The more he thinks about it, the more the signs become so obvious. Glen's eagerness to get the show on the road, how quiet Soarynn always was, how they never went on a date alone despite him being twenty-five and her being twenty. Coriolanus had brushed it off, his parents didn't want to risk a failed marriage so they were simply making sure that everything went as perfectly as possible.

Soarynn was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen, with dazzling eyes and luscious hair. She put other women to shame with her natural beauty. She dressed impeccably for someone her age and always used her manners when they were in public. Which was a good thing considering that Coriolanus was an aspiring politician who could not afford a bad reputation.

So when it came time to propose, he had no hesitation. He went out and bought a beautiful, expensive ring and slipped it on her finger without batting an eye.

Like a lamb to the fucking slaughter.

Their wedding was huge, it wasn't every day two prominent families became one. Everyone in the Capitol tuned in to watch their wedding and all their friends were there to witness the exchanging of vows.

Soarynn had been all sweet smiles and blushing cheeks, curling into him the moment too much attention landed in her lap. She had looked stunning in her wedding dress, it had been classy yet flattering for her figure, once again solidifying that he made the right choice in marrying Soarynn.

Once the wedding was over, he took her home and prepared to take her virginity, something every man planned for and every woman somewhat dreaded. He had been prepared to be gentle yet stern, she'd have to know who was the dominant party in their relationship.

She let him get the both of them undressed, on the bed and just as he was about to sink into her, she sunk her claws into him.

Soarynn was a fucking thorn in his side.

Coriolanus was quick to find out that the pretty quiet girl he thought he married was only like that in public. Behind closed doors, she gave him a run for his money. It had truly surprised him and the worst part was, no one would believe him if he told anyone. To everyone who knew her, Soarynn was so pliant, so sweet and willing to please.

He knows that he vowed to stand by her side no matter what but this has been a true testament to their marriage and they're only three months in. But he can't give up now, no, he has to push through, be strong and break her into the woman he wants her to be.

Right now she looks as innocent as ever, laughing with his mother across the room, sipping her tea. That little liar. Coriolanus looks at the man next to him who happens to be his father-in-law and wonders if Glen Nightingale is aware of the little fucking tyrant his daughter really is.

Soarynn should really consider becoming an actress based on the performance she's given everyone, including him. He was the dumbest audience member, drinking up every second of her lies.

"So when can we be expecting grandchildren?" His father asks him, causing his throat to dry up. Coriolanus has barely had time to think about children with his current campaign for President but he knows that children are expected with marriage, and sooner than possible. He can't imagine having children with Soarynn right now, they barely even have sex.

Despite her undesirable attitude towards him, Coriolanus wasn't going to let anything keep him from what was rightfully his. Sex was the one thing they could agree on. He only partook in sex when he needed to put her in her place, fucking her until she was screaming into the pillows.

It wasn't the most effective method, unfortunately. It would keep her quiet and put her in her place for about a day before she sparked back up and then he'd have to do it all over again. Coriolanus never thought he'd live in a time when sex felt like a chore but Soarynn really did bring out the worst in him.

"Soon," is all he says, watching his wife place her hand on top of his mother's. It's even worse because his mother loves Soarynn, she adores that girl like she's her own daughter. His father is more reserved in showing affection in general but Coriolanus can see it in his eyes that he's pleased with this union between them.

To his father, this is a successful business deal.

To Coriolanus, it's a punishment from an unknown source.

"How has she been doing?" Glen asks him, sipping his drink, "I know she was a bit nervous to move out." Coriolanus wants to roll his eyes at Glen's naivety but he too was once a fool who believed Soarynn's little act, "She's good," he tells Glen, offering him a tight-lipped smile, "it's been an adjustment for the both of us." The understatement of the fucking century but who's counting?

Glen nods, pleased that this has been going so well, "Ah good, I worried for the longest time that she wouldn't find someone, she's just so shy." She's also a fucking minx but what Glen doesn't know about his daughter won't hurt him.

It'll only hurt Coriolanus.

꧁ ꧂

Later that night the young Snow couple returns to their penthouse apartment and the act is dropped the second Soarynn steps through the door. "Keep your hands to yourself next time," she snaps, glaring up at him, "I'm not your fucking dog."

Coriolanus gave up on trying to be nice to her about a week into their marriage, "Well you certainly act like a little bitch," he shoots back, enjoying how her face falls. It's a battle of wits between the two of them and to his dismay, they're very well matched.

Soarynn is sharp and quick, never giving him too much time to recover from her little jabs. But Coriolanus sleeps well knowing that at the end of the day, she belongs to him.

"I'm not the one with my tail between my legs whenever we're around our parents," she says, walking down the hallway with haste. Coriolanus is right on her heels because she has no idea what he has to worry about on a daily basis. Soarynn spends her days shopping with friends and going to social events. She doesn't lift a fucking finger and yet she loves to show him her middle one.

He grabs her arm and pulls her back until they're face to face and he's fuming, "Fix your fucking attitude," he hisses, "before I fix it for you." If Soarynn was who she pretended to be, she'd be cowering in front of him with tears in her eyes, begging for forgiveness.

But she's not.

She smirks and tilts her head in the most sinister way possible, "What're you gonna do? Fuck me again? You know, you can't solve all of your problems by sticking your cock in me. One of these days you're going to have to actually grow a pair Coriolanus."

He's seething now, he'd never hit a woman but boy does she tempt him. "You belong to me," he says through gritted teeth, "and as my wife, your main priority should be to make me happy, not fucking miserable."

Soarynn rips her arm away from his grip, glaring up at him with her stormy blue eyes, "I don't belong to anyone," she spits out, "especially you."

Coriolanus watches her walk down the hall, furious and defeated at the same time.

He needs to get her under control, but how?

꧁ ꧂

"It's simple," Festus says, leaning over the table, "stop giving her what she wants."

Coriolanus feels terribly lost. He had come to his good friend Festus Creed for advice about his marriage since Festus actually believes his tales about Soarynn's behavior but now he's starting to wonder if he really is doomed.

"I don't give her anything," he claims and Festus shakes his head. "You keep giving her the reactions she's looking for," he explains, "she wants you to get upset, so you get upset. She wants you to doubt yourself and then you go ahead and doubt yourself. Stop reacting to her behavior and then you can correct it."

Coriolanus sits there dumbfounded, for once, Festus might be right.

Soarynn is clearly acting this way on purpose, to evoke a response, and one of these days if he's not careful, he's going to snap in public and then he will be the bad guy.

"Stop giving her what she wants and she'll be on her knees in no time," Festus promises, "it's reverse psychology."

Well, it's worth a shot.

꧁ ꧂

When Coriolanus comes home later that day, he doesn't go to find Soarynn like he usually does. Mostly because all he'll get in return is a glare and a scoff. Soarynn has made it very clear to him that she wants nothing to do with him unless they're in public. Behind closed doors, they stay apart, go their separate ways until it's time for bed.

He goes to his study instead, figuring he might as well prepare for his interview on Sunday. The Capitol News is interviewing all of the candidates running in the race and this will be a good time for him to gain some new supporters. He spends a few hours holed up in his study, going over questions, coming up with new, clever answers.

He still has time to go over anything with his advisors but he feels much better now that he knows what to expect. He glances at the clock on his desk and is shocked to see that it's well past dinner time. They usually have dinner together if he's home although they rarely speak and sit on opposite ends of the table.

Very domestic.

He considers getting up and going to the dining room to join her but decides against it, calling the maid to bring his dinner to him instead so he can do some more work.

It's nearing eight o'clock when he's disturbed by a soft knock at the door. "Come in," he says, still looking down at the papers in front of him. The door slowly opens and he hears her soft voice, "When did you get home?"

"Around one," he answers, not even looking at her.

"Oh."

Coriolanus resists the urge to grin, he might need to kiss Festus on the forehead because he's a genius for this idea.

"Did you need something?" He asks, flipping to the next page casually, "No," she says, "no I didn't need anything."

Coriolanus grunts, "Close the door behind you then."

He doesn't see her face but he can tell how his dismissing her makes her feel. Soarynn closes the door behind her and he listens to her quick receding footsteps.

Coriolanus finally breaks into a grin, it'll be a slow process to break Soarynn down but he's willing to put in the effort.

It's all about moves and countermoves.

꧁ ꧂

Coriolanus dives deep into his strategy of being cold and distant towards Soarynn. He doesn't speak to her unless absolutely necessary or if they're in public. He keeps himself busy with work and locked away in his study whenever he's home and refrains from taking any bait she lays out for him.

It's working tremendously well for him. Soarynn has been much more quiet and a lot more drawn back since he started acting this way. In public she's sweet but he can tell that she's desperate for the smallest touch he can offer her. But the second they're back home, he doesn't even look at her.

She did this to herself really, he's not the one to blame.

He's officially two months out from the election and the polls are in his favor. For now, though, something could always change as his advisors love to remind him. His mother is over the moon for his success and his father for once, seems genuinely proud of him. Running for President hasn't been an easy feat but he's doing exceptionally well if he says so himself.

He's getting ready for a charity dinner tonight, anything to show face and shake hands. Soarynn is coming with him to show support for her husband and he's got her in the palm of his hand.

He checks his reflection in the mirror one last time, making sure that his curls look perfect and that his tie is straight. The press will be there and he needs to be prepared for any questions they might ask him.

He can hear a small struggle ensuing in their bathroom and looks through the doors to see Soarynn struggling with the zipper of her dress. He sighs, he's been doing an excellent job of remaining cold and withdrawn so far but the small, hopeful part of him knows he should help her. After all, he is her husband.

He steps into the bathroom and she immediately tenses, watching him through the mirror, "Need some help?" He nods at the back of her dress and she looks unsure as to whether or not this is some sort of trap.

She finally nods, "Yes," she says softly.

Coriolanus walks up to her and rests one hand on her back while the other pulls the zipper up with ease. "Thank you," she says, turning to face him. He can see it in her eyes how lonely she is, despite having lots of friends and visiting her father, she's lonely in this big apartment when it's just the two of them. At least when they were arguing she could talk to someone.

"Tonight is very important," he tells her, ignoring her gratitude, "best behavior tonight." He walks out before she can say anything else, it's better this way.

It's better this way.

| Part 1. |

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kikyoupdates · 24 days ago

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Tears of a Villainess ⭑˚🗡️⭑ 𝑢𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟

yandere!ocs x reader

yandere, reverse harem, isekai, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Reincarnation isn't as great as it sounds, especially when you've been reborn as none other than the villainess. Fated to die if you stand in the heroine's way, you immediately resolve to distance yourself from the plot. As long as you have nothing to do with any of the relevant characters, surely, you'll be able to avoid an untimely death. But in a horrible turn of events, the heroine ends up wanting to get close to you. Are you really doomed to meet the villainess' tragic end? Or is there an even more sinister fate that awaits you?

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Even though your parents are furious with you for breaking off your engagement, you don't regret what you did.

After all, how could you? The relationship with Alistair was doomed to fail anyway. He's destined to fall in love with the heroine and would ultimately have ended the engagement of his own accord. But even if you make sure not to antagonize the main character, there's no telling what this universe has in store for you. It's highly likely that your death flag will activate the moment the canon plot is set in motion, and when that happens, you need to be uninvolved as humanly possible.

You made the right choice. Granted, you ruffled some feathers in the process, but you still think it's better to nip a problem in the bud rather than let it fester and screw you later on.

Your father isn't having it, though.

"The Calderwood family won't even speak to me!" he fumes, stomping around your room like some huffy preschooler. "I requested an audience with Duke Calderwood, and he snubbed me outright! What a disgrace you've brought upon this family! Do you feel no shame whatsoever!?"

Hardly any, to be honest.

You fiddle with a lock of your hair, visibly disinterested. At the end of the day, you're just looking out for yourself, and the best way to do that is to ensure none of the crucial characters have anything to do with you. It sucks if you hurt Alistair's feelings, but you'll gladly take that over dying a gruesome death. You know what your priorities are, and you intend to stick to them.

Surely your father would prefer having a living, breathing daughter over a dead one, no?

"I'm sorry, father. But like I said, I genuinely don't think that relationship would have lasted. Alistair didn't seem to care for me much either. I'm willing to bet he would have ended the engagement at some point, whether I took the initiative or not."

"Such shamelessness," your father scoffs. "Everything you say is completely and utterly preposterous. Do you really take me for a fool?"

I mean, those are just the facts, but whatever floats your boat, I guess.

He clenches his jaw. "I told you the other day that you would regret your selfish actions, but it seems like you have yet to com to terms with the weight of the situation. But don't worry. Starting today, you'll learn remorse. I'm going to put you through hell to make you wish you never acted out in the first place."

You gulp. He's saying he's going to put you through hell, and that certainly didn't sound appealing. Shit. You knew ending things with Alistair was bound to have consequences, and ultimately, you still think the safest choice, but you can't deny that you're feeling pretty nervous right now.

What is he going to do to you? Is he the type of parent to enact physical discipline on his child? Does he intend to slowly deprive you of your meals, or confine you to a small, prison-like room for days to end?

Truly, the possibilities are endless, and the more you imagine it, the more terrified you become.

Shit is about to hit the fan.

"...I want you to complete all of this by the end of the day."

You blink. There's been a change in locatioon, and you're currently in one of his offices. Your father dragged you here against your will while you screamed bloody murder. Since you're still very much unfamiliar with the layout of the manor, you were convinced he was taking you to one of the secret torture chambers.

But no, it's just an ordinary office, equipped with an impressively large collection of bookshelves, as well as the desk you're sitting at.

You watch, somewhat mystified, as your father slams a notebook down in front of you, along with a few pens and pencils.

"All of these questions," he repeats. "You are to finish every single one of them by the end of the day. And you won't be permitted to leave this room until you do. If you end up having to stay up all night to work on them, I don't care. This is what you get for acting with no regard to your own family."

...this is your father's idea of a punishment?

"I know how much you hate doing academic work," he smiles smugly. "I understand if you feel like crying. But I really have to put my foot down this time. You've simply gone too far. It's time for you to learn that you can't always get what you want."

You stare at him in disbelief.

He's either fucking with you, or you've totally lucked out and discovered that your father isn't at all the scary, strict parent you assumed he was.

"So... I have to solve all these math problems," you clarify. "And once I do... I can leave and get on with the rest of my day."

Your father snorts. "Well, sure. But we both know you won't be getting out of here anytime soon. And don't misunderstand. This isn't only a one-time punishment. From now on, you'll be expected to study every single day. Did you think I was kidding? You made a grave mistake, and you need to face the consequences."

"A-Alright," you stammer, doing your best to keep a straight face. It's tremendously difficult not to laugh, because you got a pretty good look at most of those math problems.

Needless to say, this is going to be a piece of cake.

Your father heads to the door, but he stops before leaving to glare pointedly at you. "I'm serious," he warns. "I have a servant posted by the door who will inform me if you dare to snea kout before completing your work. There's no way out of this. I'm afraid you're just going to have to suffer, my dear."

"I understand, father." You make a big show of nodding your head with a somber, repentant expression. "It's going to be hard, but I'll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He shakes his head and mutters something to himself - probably that you're stupid and have no chance of finishing all these questions in time - then he finally leaves the room.

The moment he's gone, you crack your knuckles.

"Adorable," you muse. "He thinks this is a lot of work? For a modern-age university student with virtually no sleep schedule?"

Spoiler alert: it isn't.

You get down to the grindm and just as you predicted, tis may as well be child's play for an overworked student such as yourself. You're used to having to meet unreasonable deadlines, having to work with uncooperative group members to complete massive projects and earn a decent grade. And of course, you're also no stranger when it comes to cramming desperately the night before an exam.

This is, to put it simply - light work.

But it seems like the villainess wasn't exactly the brightest of the bunch (which is really no surprise), because the servant posted at the door lets out a flustered squal once you step out of the room.

"Lady [Name]!" he exclaims. "Please, get back inside the room immediately! Your father specifically told me not to let you leave until you finished all your work!"

"But I have finished," you say simply.

"You... what?"

"I'm done. I solved all the problems."

You lift up the notebook and start turning pages so that he can see every question has been completely filled in.

The servant's jaw drops open.

"U-Um," he splutters nervously. "That is... well, I mean... I-I myself am not educated enough to review these, so I will need to get your father's opinion on this matter. Please, wait right here!"

He runs off without a moment's delay, and soon enough, you hear a loud voice booming across the hallway.

"...what do you mean she's already done?"

Your father must think you're trying to pull a fast one on him, because he seems just about ready to explode when he storms up to you. He even shakes his fist in frustration. Not with the intention of hurting you, but more to say, seriously? You're really going to try this shit with me?

[Name], I'm not even a little amused," he scowls. "I thought I made it very clear that you are not to leave this room until you finish all the work I've assigned you!"

"I really have completed all the questions, though," you insist, handing him the notebook. "Here. Please take a look. I wanted you to check my answers in case I made any mistakes."

He scoffs derisively and snatches the notebook from your hands, clearly prepared for disappointment. "Just to be clear, I meant that you need to solve them. As in, answer all the questions properly. You can't just scribble random nonsense and call it a day-"

He stops rambling mid-sentence. You watch, rather amused, as his eyes dart across the pages you've filled in. All of a sudden, he isn't bitching you out anymore, and you have a pretty good feeling why.

"They're... they're all correct," he mumbles in disbelief. "But how is this possible? You're just... you've always been so..."

Stupid? Tactless? A complete waste of a character?

"...so bad at studying!" he exclaims.

Ah. It looks like he decided to go with a milder insult. What a considerate father he is.

"I've worked really hard," you state matter-of-factly. "I feel horrible about letting you down, and I want to prove I'm capable. From now on, I intend to be disciplined and driven, every single day."

Your father takes several steps back, and he raises his hands defensively, looking as though he's just seen a ghost.

"S-Something isn't right..." he mumbles, visibly pale. "You, there! Are you positive [Name] never left the room? Is it possible she snuck out at some point and got someone to solve these questions for her?"

The servant furiously shook his head. "I assure you, my lord, I was right there standing watch the whole time! Nobody entered or left the room. I swear on my life."

Even though he was clearly trying to be reassuring, it seems his words have had the opposite effect.

Your father looks even more distraught.

[Name], what's the matter with you?" he asks in a hushed, almost fearful tone. "You're acting strange. Even your mother was saying that you didn't quite seem like yourself the other day."

He's suspicious. And why wouldn't he be? You're not his actual daughter. In fact, you're an entirely different person - from a different reality, at that.

Perhaps most people would say the smartest thing to do is play the role you've been given. To emulate the villianess, [Name], and do your best to convince everyone that you're the same insufferable scumbag they've always known.

And if you had been transmigrated into virtually any other body, that's probably what you would have done.

But living the way [Name] did -by making enemies left and right- is a recipe for disaster. You've already seen her story play out, and you know how it ends.

In horrible, painful death.

So, yes. You're not exactly being subtle about your approach. People are bound to notice that you're not an abusive brat all of a sudden. They're going to be flabbergasted by your behavior, and it's practically unavoidable.

You've already decided how you want to live in this world. Here, you will completely rebrand the woman known as [Name], and you will rid yourself of this miserable 'villianess' status. It's unfortunate that your parents can't seem to recognize their own daughter, but they'll just have to come to terms with it.

From now on, you're [Name.]

And so, you smile.

"I apologize, father. I understand why this change must be shocking to you. But I realized recently that I want to build a different kind of life. I'm ashamed of the way I've behaved until now. It's time for me to grow up and start doing things differently. This is a promise I made to myself."

Both your father and the servant still appear to be visibly stunned. Well, it's not exactly the kind of transformation that's easy to swallow, you suppose. It's basically the equivalent of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.

"I promise to work very hard from now on," you say. "I'll show you that I can find a respectable man to take Alistair's place, and I'll keep up with my studies as well. If I do a good job and prove I am serious about this, will you forgive me for ending this engagement?"

Your father struggles to find the words. "I-I suppose and that would be acceptable, but-"

"Great! Again, I really am sorry about what happened. But everything will work out in the end. You'll see."

Befor ehe cn even think of a response, you've already taken to happily skipping down the hallways, humming a tune as you do.

He blinks repeatedly.

"What in the world just happened?"

Since you completed all your work, as promised, your father leaves you alone for the rest of the day. It turns out that neither of your parents in this world is particularly strict. Certainly not as strict as your real parents, at least. Well, they died a few years back, which you figure is probably for the best, otherwise they'd be mourning your absence right about now.

Anyways, the Alistair situation seems to have been resolved. As long as you prove that you can excel academically, and you eventually marry some other rich, successful man, it sounds like your family will leave you to your own devices.

Now, you finally get to do the thing you've most been looking forward to.

"Let's get out of town!" you exclaim.

Fiona, who you've since learned is your designated personal maid, tilts her head to the side while folding some sheets into a drawer.

"Into town, my lady? Are you sure it would be alright for you to do that? I worry your father might get awfully upset again..."

It hasn't been long since you've awoken in this world, and naturally, she's still quite afraid of you. Still, you can tell that she's slowly starting to let her guard down. At first, she was visibly confused and probably thought that you were putting on an act, but it seems like she's starting to realize that you've geuinely changed for the better.

"I finished all the work he gave me," you beam. "He seemed really surprised I managed to answer every question correctly, and in such a short time too. I asked him if I'm allowed to leave the manor, and he said I could."

Seriously. You're definetly not complaining about it, but your parents don't really know how to put their foot down and give you a proper punishment. You figured you would basically be under house arrest after breaking up with Alistair.

It's really no surprise that the villainess turned out to be a spoiled brat.

Fiona stands up and dusts her apron off. "Th-That's very impressive, Lady [Name]. I had no idea you were so smart."

There's a pause, and then she lets out a gasp, having just realized what she said.

"I-I didn't mean to say that I thought you were unintelligent!" she insists. "I always knew that you were smart, but um... um... I just didn't know you were extremely smart! R-Right. That's what I meant. Please don't... please don't be upset with me..."

She whimpers, shoulders trembling uncontrollably. Unfortunately, it looks like you still have a long way to go before she feels comfortable around you, and doesn't live in constant fear that she'll be punished for saying the wrong thing.

"Don't worry, I know what you meant," you chuckle. "I take no offense to it. Besides, it's completely understandable that you would be shocked. My father certainly was. I have to admit, I wasn't exactly working hard before. I didn't put much effort in. But now that I'm actually taking things seriously, it shows."

Fiona lets out a sigh of relief. "O-Of course, my lady. It's very cmmendable that you've decided to put in your best effort."

"Anyways, long story short, my father agreed to let me go out. Since I want to head into town, would you mind accompanying me? Even though I have permission to leave, he still doesn't want me going all by myself. ANd I'd definitely prefer to take you over someone else."

"You'd... prefer to go with me?" Fiona blinks, incredulous.

"Of course! I know you the best out of everyone, so you're obviously my favorite," you happily state.

Fiona takes a few moments to let your words sink in, and it semms like she must be pretty flattered, because she makes a shy face and blushes fiercely.

"I-I'm honored that you would say that," she mumbles, still too flustered to look you in the eye.

Oh my god. She's so cute! I just want to hug her and squish her cheeks.

"If you'll have me, then I'll gladly accompany you," she nods. "Please let me know if there's anything I need to bring along. I'll pack everything into a bag."

"Don't worry about tht. I'm not bringing anything with me. I just want to go out for a little stroll around town and stretch my legs."

You're not really lying. It's not like you have anything specific in mind, but ever since you got here, you've been wanting to explore as much as you can. After all, it's not every day you get reincarnated into a fictional world. You figure it is time to let you inner fangirl out.

And so, with Fiona at your side, you hop into a carriage and take a quick trip to the center of town.

"... holy shit, it looks even cooler than I thought it would!"

You're so excited that you accidentally voice your thoughts aoud, but thankfully, Fiona doesn't think much of it. Considering how crazy you've been acting lately, she doesn't really dwell on most of what you say.

Anyways, you're actually here! It's kind of amazing when you think about it. There's so much of this world that you have yet to explore - all sorts of places that you saw in the game - and it's unreal that it's all right within reach.

It's not like your old life as horrible or anything, but you have to admit that this new one is endlessly more exciting.

Well, setting aside all the different ways you could die, of course.

Fiona offers you an encouraging smile. "Lead the way, my lady. You've worked really hard, so you more than deserve this break."

Honestly, you wouldn't consider doing a few pages of math problems that hard, but you'll take the praise regardless.

It goes without saying, but you don't really know where you're going. There are a few spots that you caught glimpses of while playing the game through the heroine's point of view, but this world obviously has a lot more to explore than what was shown.

Good thing you've got no place to be.

"Let's go there," you point excitedly, "and also there. After that we'll stop by there. Oh! And it looks like they've got all kinds of food stands scattered about. I want to try everything. Even if it seems like I'm about to puke, please dont try to stop me. I'm willing to take the risk."

Fiona stammers out a few protests as she desperately tries to keep up with your breakneck pace. You could certainly afford to take your time, but you want to see as much of the town as possible. There's a bunch of other places you want to visit too. It's hard to pace yourself when this is such an incredible-

"Thief! That man stole from me! Someone stop him!"

You turn around in a hurry, and sure enough, some guy is sprinting down the street as if his life depends on it. He's holding a big brown bag filled to the brim with fruits and vegetables, it seems. A petty theft, but a theft nevertheless.

Hold on, isn't this the perfect opportunity? If I step in to catch a thief, surely your horrible reputation will have to improve.

A smile spreads across your lips. What luck! It looks like you'll be able to demonstrate your endless generosity even sooner than expected.

Fiona starts pulling on your arm. "Lady [Name], please be careful. We should get out of the way and-"

"Halt, thief!"

Ignoring Fiona's protests, you step into the middle of the street and stand there with your hands squared upon your hips. You're still a noble, after al. Your words and actions carry a lot of weight around these parts. He'll have to think twice about stealing.

Except your act of bravery doesn't exactly go over the way you planned, and instead of being intimidated by your authoritative presence, the thief grits his teeth.

He also pulls out a knife.

"Get the hell out of the my way, bitch!"

Oh, balls.

It looks like you mght have bitten off more than you can chew. Fiona outright screams at the sight of the man charging straight towards you, knife pointed outwards, and she pulls you back so hard that you trip and fall to the ground.

There you lie, helpless and vulnerable, but fortunately, you are spared.

"...I'd avise you to stop running while I have both of your legs."

It takes a moment for your disoreintation to fade, but you swear you hear the sound of a sword being drawn.

Hardly two seconds later, the knife the thief was holding is knocked onto the ground, mere inches away from you.

The thief has been apprehended.

"Are you alright, my lady?"

Someone approaches you. It's a man, but the sounds of it, and the same one that just spoke earlier. You groan weakly. It certainly wasn't a pleasant fall, but you're glad Fiona acted in time, otherwise you might not have evaded the thief's knife.

"Here," the same man says, offering you his hand. "Allow me."

"Oh, thank you."

You blink away the fuzziness in your eyes and reach up to grab the man's hand. His grip is strong, and he pulls you to your feet with ease.

Finally, you meet his gaze.

And all the blood drains from your face.

"You're not hurt, are you?" he frowns, examining you for any possible injuries. "What you did just then was incredibly reckless. You never know whether or not these criminals are armed, not to mention that a young lady such as yourself shouldn't be taking on that kind of risk. Please be more careful from now on."

You didn't know how to respond. Try as you might, the words just won't form.

This man... you know him. In fact, you know him shockingly well. Having played through the game for hours on end, you couldn't possibly forget his face, not even if you tried.

His name is Carmine Mortis, he's a knight, and he is yet another one of the heroine's love interests.

But if things go wrong...

He is also the man who will publicly execute you.

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cannebady · 4 days ago

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feel the thought of love again

Read on AO3.

Unfortunately, the fallout from that shitshow of a trial isn't limited to Stolas and Blitzø.

Fizz had woken up that morning in love and confident that day; feeling as he usually did existing in the most supportive relationship of his life. Little did he know that Ozzie's actions, or lack thereof, just a scant few hours later would shake some of that confidence to it's core. He's still in love, and Fizz has to believe in the kind of love that can jump hurdles, but he can't ignore that his partner did shit-all when called upon to save Blitzø's life. They're working on it, and he's cautiously optimistic they they'll be fine in the long run, but he knows now that the differences between them run deep.

He remembers being stuck in that cage with Blitzø, listening to him lament about Stolas's ignorance and fuck if he doesn't get it now. While Ozzie has worked through a number of his inherent classist beliefs, there are latent ones that run deep and he showed that on the biggest stage with the highest stakes. The same stage where another royal, Stolas, had shown the exact opposite. Oh how the tables have turned.

He and Blitzø have texted since then, of course they have. As soon as the broadcast ended and Fizz had come back to himself enough to remember he had fingers and a phone, he'd texted Blitzø into the wee hours of the morning, hanging on every response, as few and far between as they'd been, so that he could fall into a fitful sleep. He'd needed proof of life and maybe some facsimile of comfort after nearly having to watch him fucking die. But, it's been weeks since then and he hasn't been able to convince himself to go and actually see Blitzø.

He'd planned to. Fuck the entire night of the trial he'd been fighting the urge to leave and run to Blitzø's side immediately and had only stopped when Blitzø had confirmed that Stolas was alive and with him. Fizz had wanted to give them time to settle in and by the time he woke the next morning he'd had to set aside time to have a screaming fight with Ozzie that left him feeling hollowed out and nearly as lonely as he had when his lungs stilled burned with smoke and he was four limbs down.

Back then, he'd always felt like Blitzø had abandoned him after the fire. He'd mentally railed against him for setting the blaze and leaving Fizz to deal with the consequences himself like a coward, and while there is some truth there, Blitzø had admittedly given up trying after being turned away (thank you Cash Buckzo and your A+ parenting), after this experience, Fizz is starting to understand Blitzø a little better. It's far harder than Fizz would've thought to make yourself face a reality you're not ready for, even if that reality is that your former and also sort-of current best friend is alive and well. Maybe if that were all, it wouldn't be so hard, but Fizz had to come to terms with multiple unfortunate truths that night. The first being that his partner wasn't the fool-proof, knight in shining armor he thought he was. The second is a bit more complicated to align with his reality.

A reality, where, for example, your decades-lapsed crush on your best friend is falling less into the category of lapsed and further into the category of rekindled and primed to fuck up your life.

Who would've thunk that they could make this even more complicated than it was after the fire?

There's Ozzie to consider, who Fizz may be furious with but he still loves so deeply, and fuck, now there's Stolas too. Stolas who gave up fucking everything to save Blitzø in front of every denizen of Hell, the Goetia, and the Sins in a stunt so tragically romantic that it's on par with Ozzie's public declaration of his love and their relationship less than a year ago. That's not even to mention the fact that Blitzø is clearly in love with Stolas too and certainly not hung up on any former jesters he may or may not have blown up in the past.

His head thunks on his pillow and he groans to the air of the room because whoowee does he know how to fuck up a wet dream.

Not having a grueling rehearsal schedule since giving Mammon his middle finger has left him with entirely too much time to think and not nearly enough bullshit to distract himself with on a random Wednesday afternoon. That's when the thought first coalesces.

Maybe today is the day.

Maybe today he'll go and see IMP for the first time and confirm that Blitzø is alive and well.

Maybe Blitzø will be his usual boisterous and borderline insufferable self and it'll be the final nail in the coffin this crush needs.

Yeah, that's it. That's the plan. He's been churning around an idealized Blitzø from when they were kids in his head and letting it take up residence in his heart. As soon as he sees the reality, his crush will recede back to its rightful tomb and he'll be able to move on and he'll have the satisfaction of seeing that his best friend is just fine with his own two eyes. They'll be friends and nothing more. No complicated feelings as far as the eye can see.

It's perfect.

Fizz spends an embarrassing amount of time trying to pick an outfit before ultimately choosing something comfy (because who's he trying to impress, right? He's giving himself side-eye at this point.) and calling one of Ozzie's cars to bring him to Pride. In just under an hour he's sitting in a coffee shop a block down from IMP waiting for his order (a heinously sweet concoction for himself and an iced coffee for Blitzø) and reevaluating all of his life choices.

They call his name for the order, both his and Blitzø's coffee getting a smiley face on the cup (and he understands his, but Blitzø's?), and head's out and face the challenge. The car is waiting outside, and will be nearby until he wants to head back to Lust, but he decides to walk. Take the opportunity to figure out what the fuck he's actually going to say.

For the millionth time in the last hour he thinks that he should've texted Blitzø to make sure it was a good time, but he knew that he'd chicken out the minute he opened the text chat, so he's winging it. They've known each other since they were kids, they've reconnected after the deepest traumas tore them apart, surely dropping in unannounced can be forgiven, right? (And it isn't at all that he'd be heartbroken if he wasn't welcome right now. Not at all.)

The outside of the building, when he arrives, is a bit worse for the wear. It looks like it's been freshly plastered in some places, but overall it looks like it took a beating fairly recently, but he's not entirely sure if that's related to the trial or just one of the many charms of Imp City. It's impossible not to notice, however, that the building (and most around it) are absolutely covered in graffiti of Blitzø's name and it occurs to Fizz, for the first time, that all of Hell saw the trial. There were articles about the employees of IMP, and their fearless leader, being the only imps to ever survive a run-in with the Sins, but it isn't until now that Fizz realizes that Blitzø went from being down on his luck to a veritable people's hero overnight.

Fizz is still famous, but Blitzø has some notoriety in his own right now. Something warm settles in him at that. Blitzø has made mistakes (but they're in Hell, who hasn't?), but he's worked hard for what he has and Fizz is happy for him. Happy that he's getting some positive recognition for once. Happy that perhaps there will be something to fight the self-hatred that's taken root and simmered in his friend since they were children.

He decides he's dilly-dallied enough and pushes through the door into the building. He walks down the hallway and finds the sign for IMP. He immediately recognizes the art as Blitzø's style and, not for the first time since they reconnected, he's impressed by his friend's skill. Maybe clowning wasn't his forte, but he's always been creative in his own way, always been resourceful and powerful. This small bit of art shows that and he feels that same warm feeling settle again. Fizz thinks about knocking, but before he does, he takes a second to peep through the window and what he sees nearly resets his brain chemistry.

The inside of the office looks typical at first glance; just a small office with the typical office accoutrements (nothing like the penthouse he shares with Ozzie, dripping in erotic opulence), but on second look he realizes that the inside seems warm. It radiates a home-y feel, from the mismatched furniture to the fact that it's still decorated for Sinsmas, despite the holiday having passed. It's chaotic in a way that screams Blitzø, but that's not what stops Fizz in his tracks.

Front and center is what he assumes is the reception desk, manned by none other than Stolas, formerly of the Ars Goetia. Gone are his fancy clothes and fuckass hat. He's in a soft looking (admittedly cute as fuck) sweater and a basic set of trousers - regular clothes. Something not amiss on anyone in Imp City.

That, too, is not what sends him reeling.

It's what Blitzø is doing. The former prince looks close to tears as he stares at his phone; the look on his face is sad and nearly despondent. It's the look of someone who has lost everything and is hanging by a thread. But then there's Blitzø; brash, loud, chaotic Blitzø, who was nowhere when Fizz had that look on his face, who is gently rubbing Stolas's back with one hand, pushing a mug that reads "I'm a Hoot" in Blitzø's illegible handwriting towards the owl with the other, all while leaning his head nearly on the bird's shoulder and whispering so low Fizz can't hear. He may not be able to decipher the words, but his friend looking up at the bird like he alone set Blitzø's world spinning. And he just might have.

Fizz hasn't seen that look on Blitzø's face since they were teenagers, and now has the feeling that he understands something he likely missed when he was young. Blitzø used to look at him like that. And now he knows what it means.

Suddenly, peeping through the window seems like an invasion of privacy, like he's seeing something he shouldn't be. He breaks the tension by opening the door before he can talk himself out of it.

Stolas looks up first, four claret eyes meeting Fizz's across the lobby, and the way he immediately smooths his face into an indifferent mask sets Fizz's teeth on edge. It's partially deserved, considering they've only been in the same room once before and Fizz was publicly roasting Blitzø as Ozzie dragged Stolas through the mud, but he hates it all the same.

Sensing the change in the bird's demeanor, or more likely feeling him tense, Blitzø turns toward him and his jaw drops a little before splitting into a grin that gives Fizz stomach flutters like he's walking a high wire. The fact that Blitzø noticed him because of Stolas's reaction instead of his own entrance only burns him a little.

"Fizz!", Blitzø nearly yells, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

While he seems happy, Fizz also notices that Blitzø's eyes start anxiously darting around the office, and it looks like he's trying to decide if he should be embarrassed or not. That burns Fizz's a little too, that he's so far out of Blitzø's orbit that he feels like he needs to clean his life up to meet Fizz's standards. As if they didn't grow up in the same shitty tent in the same shitty circus under the same shitty circumstances.

Just wanted to see your dumb face, he should say. Just wanted to see how the lower half lives, is what he would've said a year ago.

What he does is so much worse. The whole situation closes in on him, the thought that he was moments from losing any chance at this moment, the fact that he went without Blitzø in his life for over a decade, the fact that he's possibly been in love with this jackass since he was ten and was more than likely loved in return for some part of that, that even after all the animosity Blitzø saved his life and then supported him without the promise of anything at all��(and offering Fizz the knowledge that Blitzø blames himself, hates himself even), and it all weighs down on him at once. He feels the begrudging sting of tears and fuck this couldn't happen at a worse time.

He goes to take a breath in but he chokes and ends up wheezing, "I missed you," before looking down at the splotchy carpet and drowning in a maelstrom of emotions only Blitzø could evoke in him. Before he knows it, he feels himself ensconced in familiar, strong, warm arms.

The smell hits him next. There's so much about it that's familiar, cheap detergent and cheaper cologne, but there are newer layers like gunpowder and something that smells an awful lot like lavender preening oil (and doesn't that stir something awful and sweet in Fizz's chest?). In any version, it's like a blanket and Fizz is squeezing the life out of Blitzø before he knows it and gross crying into his shoulder. There's a thunk with a subsequent splash that Fizz registers in his periphery but couldn't be fucked to care about because Blitzø is alive and here and holding him and fuck.

"Fuck Fizz, you okay? You need me to call your big chicken?", and that just makes Fizz cry harder. Because sure, there's a part of him that'd love to bury his face in Ozzie's feathers and let his soothing touch lull him to sleep, but that feels like so much right now and this feels like everything too. Blitzø's voice is soft like he hasn't heard it in years, not since the Before when they were young and unfinished and the soft tone of Blitzø's voice came with the cracks of puberty.

All at once Fizz is relieved and furious. "You almost died you absolute asshole," Fizz's voices gives out into a whine and Blitzø snorts but holds him tighter, stroking his back like he's made of glass. He hates it and loves it and hates that he loves it.

"I didn't though! I'm right here. It's all good," Blitzø reassures, allowing a fucking purr to run beneath the words and the open vulnerability and intimacy makes Fizz want to scream and cry and maybe propose marriage. He hasn't heard that sound since before the fire.

He purrs back best he can, gravelly and uneven, and hears Blitzø breath in sharp, like he didn't expect it.

Everything is a bit hazy and they're lost in their own world. Vaguely, Fizz hears someone say, "I'll just grab these," before the he feels someone move near them to start to pick up what he dropped. The fucking coffees, he remembers. He'd intended to give Blitzø a coffee before he came here, which seems like a decision he made a thousand years ago for how slowly time is moving. Fizz moves to disengage and help clean up his mess, but he's promptly pulled back into the embrace (not that he minds at all) and realizes that Stolas is taking care of it.

This whole situation is weird and he feels like the bird is giving him major side-eye but he can't even be fucked to care because Blitzø is holding him so tight, holding him together, and he thinks he might've been craving this for fifteen years. It feels like maybe Blitzø was too.

Stolas looms over them for a second, whispers something to Blitzø, to which the imp nods, and then they're both shepherded over to the couch, still embracing, where Fizz promptly entangles himself with as much of Blitzø as possible. Cybernetic limbs wind around flesh and blood and it seems like they can't stop pulling the other closer, reveling in it.

The purring and back stroking is hypnotic, as is the feeling of their tails twisting together (Fizz tries hard not to think about other implications there because it is not the time and this moment is perfect, but the thought lingers), and Blitzø's reassuring whispers that he's here and they're fine start to calm Fizz's racing heartbeat. Time passes like syrup and Fizz has no idea how his eyes have been closed when he finally opens them.

He's wedged in the corner of the couch with Blitzø's back to the room and Fizz has a clear eyeline over Blitzø's shoulder to desk where Stolas is watching them passively. He can read in that gaze the exhaustion, the weariness, and the concern that lives under the surface. It's a familiar look. Fizz should know.

They make eye contact and he gets a terse smile from the owl. He gives one back, trying to convey "I'm sorry I was a dick to you in public" and "thank you for saving this asshole, he means the world to me" and "I'm sorry I might be in love with both your sort-of boyfriend and a deadly sin that would've let him die" with nothing but his eyes and teeth and thinks he might've gotten about 30% of it across before Stolas looks away pointedly.

Blitzø must be exhausted too, because Fizz feels him get heavier in his arms, feels his whispering taper off into tiny snores and sleepy purrs and Fizz realizes in that moment that he'll stay here all night holding him if he needs to. Hell, he's not sure he could leave if he was asked to. At the moment this is right where he wants to be.

There's a metric shit load of nonsense for them to work through, each layer more complicated than the next, but he's realizing that he's ready to do it.

His therapist is going to have a fucking field day when they meet the following week, but for now he'll hold his best friend (and guy he kind of maybe definitely loves) in the office of the business he built himself, in eye and earshot of the former prince who saved his life and sit in the complexity.

It feels good. It feels right.

Blitzø snuffles into Fizz's neck and something in that screams home in a way he's been searching for. Perhaps there's love enough in Hell for all of them. Perhaps there's a touch of redemption, too.

#helluva blitzo #blitzø #fizzarolli #fizzaroli helluva boss #Blitzfizz #Blitzarolli #fizzarozzie #Stolitz #Helluva boss

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cookinguptales · 1 year ago

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As someone who grew up in a bilingual household where we spoke English but also signed, the part of Mabel and Theo's relationship that fascinates me the most is the communication, or lack thereof.

I'm mostly hearing (...sort of...) but grew up around a lot of d/Deaf people, CODAs, interpreters, etc. so while I can't give any input on the experience of profound deafness, I can at least tell apart different styles of signing. It's a little hard to tell sometimes how much of this is characterization vs. the skill level of the actors, but it is interesting.

Teddy Dimas does not sign fluidly. It's immediately obvious. It's not that he's terrible or that he can't be understood... it's just that there are a lot of tells that he does not sign as a primary language. The terseness of the signs, the deliberateness. You can tell that there's a second of thought before each sign, a jerky sort of compactness to them, that's common with people who learn to sign later in life. (Or who don't get a ton of practice with it.)

Signing, when you do it right, requires the use of your whole body. That can be hard for hearing people, who are generally used to more restrained movements. Teddy Dimas has never quite lost that restraint. He still can't go all in, not with his signing or his parenting.

I always thought this was really interesting, because it means that Teddy most likely learned to sign for his son (tragically uncommon with hearing parents of Deaf children) but that he still can't quite translate his thoughts properly into sign language. He can't quite get his emotions through to his son. There's a barrier there between them, and it seems to be largely one that Teddy's erected -- until Theo starts snapping back.

What I'm getting at is that Teddy has always forcibly drawn his son into his world instead of immersing himself in Theo's, and it shows. And it has really harmed their relationship, in more ways than one.

Zoe... we don't see a ton of her signing, but there does seem to be something somewhat performative about it. It's more fluid, like perhaps she's done it her whole life, but there's also something sort of... idk, false about it? And I wonder if that's just Zoe. It felt like she was always covering up her true feelings of loneliness and emptiness with a flamboyant personality, and the little flourishes to her signing seem to convey that as well. Her signing feels almost theatrical to me.

Theo and Mabel, though... I've always loved that episode where they go to Coney Island together. I get the criticism that Theo said at the beginning that he couldn't understand much of what she said when he was reading lips -- and then she proceeded to just talk at him for the rest of the episode anyway. But to me, at least, that always seemed like it was kind of the point. They couldn't understand each other, not fully, and that was something soothing to them.

There's something healing, I think, about shouting into the void. Letting out all of your most personal, complicated feelings without fear of repercussion or judgement. Talking into the wind because you know it won't talk back. You need to feel that echo but also know that it won't be heard.

I think there was some of that there in their initial relationship. Both of them desperately needed to talk, to get everything off their chests, but both of them also have trouble opening up to others due to trauma. So I think speaking to someone who couldn't understand them was, in some ways, ideal. They could make a human connection while keeping it fairly impersonal. They could unload without fear of judgement -- or worse, understanding.

Oddly, I think their mutual need to communicate without being understood was the one thing they understood best about each other. They could sense each other's loneliness and wariness and inability to trust that they could tell someone something important without it being used against them -- because their love and their trust have always been used against them.

So maybe in a way, their inability to talk to each other was actually what helped them communicate on a deeper level...?

Still, though. Still. I was so pleased to see that Mabel is learning more sign language so she can talk to Theo. She's got a long way to go, but no one learns to sign overnight. She's making progress, and you can tell that Theo appreciates it. There are still times where he gets too excited and signs too fast and she doesn't catch all of it, and there are times when she gets so wrapped up in her own soliloquies that she forgets that you have to face Deaf people while talking to them, but there's a familiarity to it now. When he signs too fast, she smiles and teases him. When she talks too quickly or forgets to sign or turns away from him, he just smiles and sighs and shakes his head. Then waits for her to come back.

Theo finds it irritating, obviously, but also understands that it's just... Mabel. She spends so much time in her own head that she has trouble communicating even with people who speak her language, as evidenced with Tobert. And maybe Theo does understand her in ways that others can't. Maybe it's the very fact that he accepts that he can't always understand her that makes her feel comfortable with him.

I also have to wonder, y'know... Has anyone ever learned to sign for him before, other than his father, who clearly saw it as a burden? Has anyone ever seen him as worth the effort of learning, not out of an obligation to speak to him but a desire to? No wonder he's being patient with her. I wonder if anyone has ever put in as much effort for him as she already has. It makes me so sad to think about, because what she's doing now is so... bare minimum. Theo has been so desperately alone, and so much of that is because his father isolated him. It's because no one else ever reached out. :(

idk, it just makes me happy that these two people who originally bonded over their inability to communicate are now comfortable enough with each other to try actually talking. There's something so shy and so joyful about it. I love that for them, especially Theo.

I don't want him to be alone anymore!! I want him to have someone he can talk to, whom he trusts enough to talk to, who thinks he's worth learning to talk to back!

Their odd brand of bilingual communication (or lack thereof) is just fascinating to me. ;;

#omitb #omitb spoilers #only murders in the building #long post #look I'm not going to pretend to be an expert #I learned to sign from parents and siblings and babysitters and a WHOLE bunch of nuns #some of whom knew ASL and some SEE #I never had formal training because I just learned kind of... organically I guess #and my signing is VERY pidgin #I can talk to my family obviously but I'm never going to call myself an expert #but these are my thoughts at least

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envy-of-the-apple · 11 months ago

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Hello, first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! I hope you had a happy birthday today !

I recently read your recent fic (The Sun eats the Moon) and the writting was amazing. But I have some question in my mind like :

"After that maybe 'Reader' could take contraception in secret, no ?"

"Is she (or they) gonna end up married to him, and forced to be a housewife or just following him where he goes ?" honestly I think her destiny is tragic no matter the result.

"How did he react to her disappearance, did he tried to find her (honestly my question was why he didn't ask her parents or search where did she goes, but honestly its a good thing that he didn't search) ? And during 10 years, how was to him ?" Maybe the only thing we can say "good" about him is he will only looking toward her and not any women after THAT day...?

And last question, I was wondering what will happen to them after THAT day like I know fr that in the media there will be news, but honestly I think the conclusion is well writting, the fact you first introduce the concept about the Moon and conclued with the detailed about the Moon and how tragic the ending is for them (Moon and 'Reader'). And if you are going to a Geto's it's will also be interesting because he was there to.

Sorry for the long message (eng isn't my first language) and thanks you to read that ! Have a nice day or night !

Thank you!!!!!!All great great great questions! I'll try to answer them as best as I can before giving tooo much away lol:

Why cant Ms.Moon take contraception?

yes Ms.Moon (that's my nickname for the mc now lol) could definitely try to take contraception in secret but I don't think it'll be a good ending if Gojo finds out. In the comments of the fic, many ppl were pointing out that Gojo was intentionally trying to get Ms. Moon pregnant back when they were "dating" buuuut it was sort of an afterthought for him. His logic was 'oh well it doesn't matter either way. you're staying with me regardless' but now that he's seen that Ms.Moon is 100% willing to leave him his next course of action is 'k well can't do that if you have a kid'. It's really not about Ms.Moon having a baby, rather it's insurance that bestie won't just dip again. He cares about you more than any kid you'd make together (awww thats so....sweet???)

Will Gojo force Ms.Moon to get married?

Probably, he's a romantic at heart teehee. But also he loves the attention. Part of the reason he was so effective in "keeping" Ms.Moon (in high school) was largely due to public pressure. Now, where he's basically a celebrity, his obsession with the spotlight has only increased. He's gonna be on talk shows and never shy about your relationship to the press. Gojo will definitely describe your relationship as 'newly reunited highschool sweethearts'. People at work will definitely bombard you for the details, and you were never one to be defiant so you'd probably just mutely agree with him (that's why he loves you so much: you're so agreeable). He'd make sure your wedding is the biggest celebration of the year. And then he'd drag you to Aruba or something for yalls honeymoon:)

Why didn't Gojo try to find Ms. Moon?

He did! When you dipped (graduated early and left for college) he went ballistic. I totally forgot to add this in, but Gojo is a huge reason why Ms.Moon doesn't talk to family anymore/anyone in that town. You didn't even tell your parents what college you were headed off to. I bet Gojo harrassed your family for a bit, because he's Gojo Satoru, but when it's clear you just disappeared I bet he was depressed. As terrible as he was, he did love you. It was also a pride thing for him. No one's ever 'won' against him, and you technically did. He'd greatly underestimated you and you got away. I bet he'd be a little impressed at that. I think in the fic it was greatly implied that he was searching for you buuuut eventually he forgot because he got so busy with his life. He still thought about you, but its was probably more along the lines of 'damn, can't believe i lost that bitch' And then you unceremoniously fell from the sky. Surprising, but he's grateful. It was fate to meet you again or was it? *cackles in omniscient author*

The Aftermath

Yeah, you're not living a normal life after that ever again. You're moving in with him, he's getting that marriage certificate ready bye bye freedom. I don't think he'd lock you up, buuuut having a security detail on you at all times, putting a tracker in your phone, and constantly calling/texting you is pretty close to life in prison right? EVENTUALLY, he'd limit your social network, then not-so-gently encourage you to quit your job. By the end of it, you'll be his little housewife but I think he'd be nice about it. (kind of)

#yandere #x reader #yandere jjk #dark content #dark jjk #dark gojo satoru #gojo satoru #asks #yandere gojo satoru #“The Sun Eats the Moon” Asks #SEM

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candyskiez · 6 months ago

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thinks about teru again. he’s so funny and tragic to me. like. ok so he got targeted by a psychic terrorist organization that sent adults to try and kidnap him at a young age. and he rationalizes it by going “i am the Protagonist this is happening because i am the Main Character” and then lives his life by that idea bc it’s that or face the fact that he’s nothing, that he’s an average person and all these things happened to him for no reason. and then he meets mob and wants to befriend him, has questions he wants to ask- here is someone who might finally understand him. and then bc teru is thinking like a Main Character i think he goes “ok so if i defeat him then we’re friends otherwise we’re rivals” bc he’s still going off of tropes and cliches. and then shigeo fucking curbstomps him and he goes “oh ok i get it im not the main character 👍 KAGEYAMA’s the main character. so i must be The Rival Character then” but it’s just a way he can act as a friend without breaking the tropes he uses to rationalize his trauma

YEAH YOU GET IT! YOU UNDERSTAND! He's so horribly lonely but also literally everything about his mindset is directly standing in the way of giving him any connection. He holds people to such high standards that they're always going to disappoint him, so he spends time with none of them. He craves constant approval and affection but none of it is enough to satisfy the need for actual connection. So he just goes through shallow relationship after shallow relationship going Yep. This is great. I am happy. And I genuinely think he doesn't realize he's NOT happy because like. When you're in a shitty situation for your entire life you don't necessarily realize things can be Better. So Teru is not captured by claw when other people are, and he can do things that other people can't, so his situation is better than most! Nevermind the fact hey maybe there shouldn't be Claw. Maybe people shouldn't be attacking random kids. Maybe this is all insane. He's just like. Wow I'm so strong and smart for evading claw, because the idea that he just was Lucky would be terrifying and take away his entire sense of safety. He needs to be the smartest toughest guy that Has Ever Existed™ because if he's not, then suddenly he could get captured or die at any moment. And that's suddenly way less haha my life is so cool! The denial juice is strong here.

Literally everything about his introduction episodes is so damn telling. He tells the body improvement club everyone always underestimates him. But he conveniently leaves out how this makes him feel, or if he's offended. We see him lose his shit when Mob says he isn't able to hurt him, so clearly he's far more affected by it than he wants to admit. But he can't be upset by it. It's an Advantage in this Battle he's in. No one takes him seriously, and that means he can get away with more shit, and that means it's easier to beat them in battle! Nevermind the fact that he works his ass off, he is not upset at all, because that would be ridiculous. It's an Advantage. He wraps literally everything in his life that hurts him up in a bow of "Actually, this is good." He cannot admit that anything about him or his life is bad. He cannot admit that he isn't perfect, or that his life isn't just a fun challenge, or that he maybe misses his parents a little bit. He like...just fully submerges himself in the idea of being a character so he doesn't have to realize how easily he could die or have his life ruined. If his parents stop sending him money, he's fucked. If claw beats him, he's fucked. He doesn't have actual connections with people, because he views them too lowly to let them in at all, and he is fucking himself over so hard with it. He needs this to not be terrifying. And he also needs to be in the right, I think. I mean, he treats all of the fights at school like a game. It feeds his ego and it means he's safe. People can't touch him and it feels good to take out his anger (he's just angry that they disrespect him, he has nothing else whatsoever to have unresolved anger about, he is completely fine and is just enjoying being able to wipe that smug smile off that assholes face. He is so okay and well adjusted!) He's just. A mess of weird ass coping mechanisms. If he isn't right, which he definitely is!, suddenly he isn't the main character, suddenly he's not just Doing Whatever, suddenly he's just another asshole. Y'know. Do I make sense. He needs to be right because if he's not right it goes from a fun game to he was just an asshole for no reason and he didn't actually gain anything at all.

God. I need to rewatch EP five, because it's insane and also tells you so much about Teru, I'm sure it's even better on a rewatch. I need to rewatch this show soon or I'll die. But like. God. He takes the idea of the only other natural esper his age he's ever met being different than him SO personally. Because he's right. He is doing everything exactly the way he is supposed to. Clearly this guy is an idiot and weak. That's why he's afraid to fight him. Clearly. He can't comprehend that maybe Mob just straight up doesn't want to hurt him. Mob thinks he's better than him. Mob needs to be taken down a peg. And then he can't hurt Mob. Then he can't break his fucking barrier. Hes fought espers before. He knows how to fight espers. He is perfectly capable of it. He has literally everything he needs to beat him and for the first time he very suddenly Can't. And this person is so different and is treating him like he's having a temper tantrum and isn't following his rules that he's formed his entire life around. Can I interest you in autistic Teru. Can I please interest you in the fact Teru has autism. Please ma'am I just want a minute of your time.

I also feel like. The fact he Needed to idolize Mob is very telling. Mob defeated him so CLEARLY he's so powerful and perfect and amazing. He still can't let go of Being Amazing, of the idea he can't fail for no good reason. He needs Mob to be special or else he means nothing. Or else he's worthless. He needs to mean something. His entire identity is hinged around Mob now which. No pressure. He needs Mob to be perfect or else he's worth Nothing. So he puts him on a huge pedestal so he doesn't have to do any reflecting and now he can have the added bonus of a friend and it's Fine! It is totally fine. He is not affected by the fact he almost killed a man on accident. He is not affected by the fact he may have severely injured several people. He is not affected by the fact Mob could've killed him. He is not affected by the fact he was wrong. None of this affects him at all. He is So Fine.

And then he switched the narrative around to haha I was the one who needed to be taken down a peg. This is fine. My world view is not in shambles. I don't need to reassess anything. Everything that happened to me is still cool and fine and I still matter because I'm in the main characters life. So it's fine. He goes from nothing matters except Me to nothing matters except Kageyama, but at first he's done absolutely zero reconfiguring.

Also like. He romanticized that fight so much. Can we please talk about that. God. Hi. This fucking kid. Someone please like. Get him a therapist and maybe a Capri Sun.

I'm too tired to write more right now and think I should probably go ahead and post but like. Yeah. God. This show. Teru makes way too much damn sense. I want to shake him. What is his problem (just spent several paragraphs analyzing his problem.)

#mp100 #mp100 spoilers #hanazawa teruki #teruki hanazawa #candyskiez asks #candy meta

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funnycreatortimetravel · 9 months ago

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So the Madoka Magica movie is coming out and there's a lot of speculation about how it's going to end (or rather, be the start of a new series of movies/a show? Idk, it was extremely vague.)

And while I love the idea of Homura and Madoka ending up together because they both deserve some happiness, I can't help but feel like the best ending for Homura at this point is letting Madoka go so she can become a healthy adult (which, let's be real, that's not possible in this world.)

And by "letting go," I don't mean cutting contact or abandoning her, I mean they can still be friends while Homura can become a person who sees herself worthy of living with or without Madoka. Because as much as I love my favorite tragic lesbians, Homura isn't her own person in the relationship with Madoka.

Like, Madoka has a loving family, loving friends, and people cheering her on. And even if she doesn't believe she's good enough to do anything, she still objectively has things going for her, a safety net if you will. And she still has a goal in mind that doesn't involve one specific person, but rather she wants to become someone that people can depend on/wants to help other people (regardless if this is at the cost of herself.) I'm not saying it's a good or even a healthy goal but with some tweaks, I could see the goal becoming something she could work toward as a means of personal growth and not just because she thinks she's useless.

Meanwhile, Homura doesn't even have parents as far as we're concerned.

The only ties she has that we're told about are the catholic school she attended and the hospital she pretty much lives in. No friends, no family, and no aspirations of her own. And because of her circumstances, she really wouldn't be able to. It's no fault of her own. I get why, then, she attaches herself to someone like Madoka. I'm sure ANYONE would attach themselves to Madoka if they were in the position Homura was in.

And then that starts the obsession. A long, tiring journey in which this poor girl sacrifices her mental health, her youth, countless years spent trying to save this doom girl and her doomed friends while she herself is also doomed. She's pretty much made herself Madoka's sole protector while also not allowing herself to even do or enjoy the one thing she wanted in the first place; being Madoka's friend.

It's all but confirmed that Homura hates everything about herself as seen in her backstory and rebellion when she was destroying her labyrinth. Her saving Madoka is the one good thing she thinks she's associated with, so much so that she's OK with dying either to protect Madoka or in a world without her.

Like, the concept of one person being the only reason you continue existing is so unhealthy (note that I'm not saying their relationship itself is, it's just her mindset.) I completely understand wanting to help your friend you know...not die a terrible death, but Homura doesn't think she has anything going for her outside of protecting someone else and that's such a sad thought to me. She thinks of all her past friends as enemies now, and she alienated herself from everyone. She thinks, now, that it's her versus Kyubey, the other magical girls, and Madoka herself. The girl is borderline, if not entirely, suicidal.

I'm hoping so badly that in the next movie, this is the start of healing for Homura (though it probably won't be because Mr. Uro loves his sad/bitter-sweet endings.) I hope this is the start where she's able to piece together who she is outside of wanting Madoka, who she could've been had Kyubey not manipulated her and the other girls into making contracts, had her parents not died, had her body not been as fragile as it was, had her confidence been strong, had she felt she was good enough to befriend and get close to other people without fearing her hurting them or them hurting her.

Sayaka was able to let the bitterness of not being with Kyosuke go, accepting that even though she wanted him, she couldn't be with him and even if she was, she never would've been happy. She was able to realize the flaws in her "ideal magical girl" concept and accept the fact that she's just one person and even though she's not perfect and didn't get the thing she wanted, she's still able to be a hero in her own right in the company of people who actually love and support her because she's Sayaka Miki, not because she's a heroic magical girl.

Mami was able to be honest with herself, similar to Sayaka, that she's not a perfect person, that the perfect magical girl illusion was never her. She's able to admit to herself that she was inherently selfish that all she wanted was friends and family, and that there's nothing wrong with that. She doesn't have to keep up the pressures of being perfect and mature and all-knowing because, at the end of the day, she is still that little girl who almost died in a car crash that claimed her parents' lives, and she has to live with the fact that she didn't and wasn't able to save them even when she had the chance to. And she's able to come to terms with the fact that though she was alone, she didn't have to be lonely. She's able to realize that it's not too late for her and she can make her own family that will stick around with her, flaws and all. And she can be a good role model for her little sister surrogate and also orphan Nagisa, but this time, she can be a realistic big sister rather than an idealistic one.

Kyoko can move past the pain of her family's demise, and unlike Mami, feels as though she is directly responsible for it. She was a naive kid who only wanted the best for her family and yet, by doing the "right thing" her father goes on a massive suicide-homicide rampage and she's left to think that her naivety, that her wanting to do the right thing, was what killed them. But no, it wasn't. It's ok to have hope and to have the desire to help others and do the right thing. While the actions of the wish were undesirable, it didn't change the fact that Kyoko's heart was in the right place and that she could continue to try to help others without fear of it coming back to haunt her. She can let the tense guard she's had up since her family's death and enjoy the little things in life she never got to when she was too poor; food, drink, comfort, and having others around that care about you. While she thought that it was her wish and her misunderstanding of what her father wanted that ultimately killed her family, it's the same desire and intentions that push her to save Sayaka and befriend her and the other girls later on.

Now Madoka is an interesting case because she, like Homura, is sort of trapped in being who they were before they gained powers.

Now that Madoka is essentially back to where she started (unlike everyone else who at least has something/someone in their lives now in Rebellion compared to the OG series where they were missing those intimate connections) again,

she's left to feel like she's missing a key part of herself (only in the OG series, she was missing the confidence she had the in OG timeline as a magical girl whereas, in Rebellion, she's literally the missing part of the Law of Cycles) and you're left to wonder if she'll be satisfied, or will she challenge this new world that seems too good to be true, a world that was made just for her and only her?

And Homura?

Poor Homura.

Being an orphan and having no one, not even doctors or nurses it looks like, be close to you? Being unable to live comfortably due to a physical condition you had no say in? Having to be behind because of said physical condition and then having an inferiority complex WHILE teachers belittle you for things out of your control? So then you consider yourself a burden and truly believe only death and loneliness await you? AND YOU’RE ONLY 14???

And then you think you've met this amazing person, this girl who thinks you're interesting and cool with no ulterior notices, a girl with amazing powers that are as wonderful as her only to have the rug pulled under you and realize that the cost of those powers and your protection is her's and others like her inevitable demise.

So then you attempt to right that wrong because even further than your want to save your friends, you know the system that they're in is objectively terrible and needs to be torn down.

But then you try to warn said friends about the system and all they do is belittle you and admit they're comfortable in something that's designed to kill them before they turn twenty, and when (or even if) they're finally aware of the system and the terrible reality of it, they STILL blame you for not telling them sooner even though you tried your damn hardest? Or even worse, try to KILL you after they find out for themselves?

And then top that off with an oppressive alien race trying to control you and pretty much end your life prematurely or turn you into an immortal Lovecraftian Paper mache creature that looks like it was created by five-year-olds should you fall into despair at the hands of this default depressive system and you'll have to remain like that, killing and trapping people while you have no memories of your life as a human and have to live as an animal of pure instinct and evilnesses until some unknowing other magical girl puts you out of your misery, and the cycle will rise and repeat eternally.

Then not to mention other magical girls who try to "game the system" (which only leads to them dying/witching out even earlier, indirectly harming the girl you're trying to protect) or even worse, the girls see you as competition because they're insecure/power hungry instead of joining you in taking down the system set up so where death is an inevitable thing regardless, indirectly siding with the species that are literally killing them slowly but surely (and yet you're somehow still the problem in their eyes.) And then to add the shit sprinkles to this shit show of life, you have to battle this biblically accurate German clown of a witch that's a bunch of witched-out magical girls mashed together like a Cthulu-esque Ren and Stimpy-type creation (that's also pretty much invincible to everything that you and all of the nukes and missiles you store in a tiny, rinky-dink space-time shield you were pretty much cursed with while everyone else gets a built-in weapon.)

Not to mention the PTSD of having everyone and everything around you die and crumple to bits for 12 years over and over again, failing at every turn to complete the only goal you have for yourself (which isn't even for you, it's just saving another person because you believe you're extensible at that point) and at every twist and turn, you're beaten, bruised, belittled, scared, tired, pushed to the brink and all alone with no one to depend on because you're the ONLY one who can and will remember anything once you have to go back in time.

And then you learn the more you go back in time, the more fate and karma you're attaching to this girl which makes the aliens target her even more because of the level of potential she has. And even worse, you find out that the girl you've been fighting so hard to protect is now an entirely different person, lacking the confidence and outgoingness that made you fall in love in the first place, her desire to become a confident magical girl being unfulfilled because of you.

But you have to play the smaller evil. You have to deter her from making a wish, even if it means inadvertently scaring her away from the idea, even if it means being cold and calculated and harsh because she won't listen otherwise.

You have to crush that confidence because that desire will only lead to her death, but she can't know that because well, you still want her to trust you.

But because you've been trying so hard to scare her away from the idea of becoming a magical girl, she ends up becoming scared anyway and distancing herself from you, meaning you don't even have the comfort of knowing you two are friends anymore.

And even still, all of the other magical girls, including her, always end up dead or turning into witches no matter what you do, leaving you to fight the final boss witch alone and failing every single time because it's just too powerful.

But you can't stop. No matter what, you can't stop. Because stopping means death for you, the girl you love, and the entire world, whether it be because of Walpurgis or Madoka's witch which is only so powerful because of you and your time-traveling shenanigans.

So you do another timeline, and things go wrong like they have for the past 100 timelines so you're just numb to it now, and while you're fighting the boss witch, you get critically injured. And now armed with the knowledge that you'd just be putting an even bigger target on your friend's back, you resolve that your efforts were all in vain and useless and decide to just let yourself witch out because you have no other choice.

Only, you're interrupted by your friend, who's finally ready to put her fears aside and make a wish.

Your biggest fear is coming true and you're powerless to stop it.

So she makes her wish and becomes a magical girl Jesus pretty much and restores hope to every magical girl.

Every magical girl except for you.

She says your efforts are the reason why she was able to make such a powerful wish and thanks you for your service, as if you're an old veteran about to retire, and then she ejects you to a remade world, a world without her.

And you're doomed to fight in this world, the world she gave her life to protect, a world in which only you remember her. You don't let yourself become too close to the other magical girls for fear of losing that connection once the Law of Cycles takes them away.

So you're doomed, essentially. The one thing you've fought to protect is gone forever and there's no one but you left to grieve for her, and you start an endless fight against the new evil creatures in place of witches until you're about to disappear yourself.

But you don't even have the comfort of peaceful passing on because AHA!, that evil alien race wants to you use as a sadistic experiment to inflict suffering on you and the other magical girls while controlling the one saving grace you all had, to restart the terrible system you were trying to run away from in the original world.

So they place you in this fake simulation of happiness and fun and magical girl transformations all for the sake of controlling you and the girl you fought for and thought was safe.

So you take matters into your own hands and resign to destroy the labyrinth, even if it means your death, hoping the other magical girls put you out of your misery once and for all.

But if you die, then who would be left to protect that girl you love so much?

So you take matters into your own hands and override her power, creating an idealized world in which everyone can be happy at the cost of making all of your past friends your enemies later.

Even the girl you love and gave your life for time and time again.

All for the sake of keeping her safe once more from not only herself since you pulled a piece of her from the Law of Cycles, but also those terrible aliens who can only think about themselves and their sick curiosity.

I so badly want a happy ending for Homura, and I'm so hoping that that happy ending is one without magic or Karmaic fate or the weight of 26 years of repeated time travel or having to save her girlfriend from a terrible demise or dooming herself to magical Jesus type limbo for eternity all while she's the only one who can remember.

Outside of Madoka, what does Homura enjoy now in Rebellion? What were her dreams, if she had any? Her aspirations? What was her childhood like (even though we know it was lonely) was there anything in her life that even remotely made her feel that living was worth it?

If and when she becomes an adult, what will she be like? What career what she want to pursue? What interests her? What does she want the most for herself? Power? Fame? Company? Comfort?

And will it even be possible for her to enjoy anything outside of Madoka so long as she attaches her self worth to this one, ordinary girl?

Will she succeed in protecting her at the cost of herself? At the cost of anyone else excluding the kyubey?

Will she give up ultimate control over the world, or will she double down; ok with challenging her friends-turned-enemies all for the sake of her love?

And if so, will she succeed as Madoka's sole, eternal protector forevermore, or she be dethroned and killed, left to rot in a labyrinth of her self-hatred and mistakes? (God, I hope not.)

Or...will she finally be saved and released from the shackles of fate, time, and space so she can live her life as a normal girl, a life she wasn't granted even before she made her wish?

My excitement for this movie is beyond real.

#madoka magica #homura akemi #pmmm madoka #sayaka miki #kyoko sakura #mami tomoe #puella magi madoka magica #madoka x homura #madoka magica rebellion #madokami #magical girl madoka magica #devil homura

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