#like yolanda walked around and said a few lines

[gertstarlight]

Also the shivcat dynamic should’ve been explored more. Not even in a gay way but after Yolanda realized Cindy wasn’t behind everything I think they could’ve used that to evolve their relationship and to have an actual conversation and stuff. Ugh I loved the finale but I can’t pretend that I’m suuuper happy with how everything turned out

EXACTLY ANON!! yolanda's life basically fell apart cuz of henry/cindy but she never got a real apology or any effort to make amends on their part.. their dynamic was literally tossed aside after they "solved" the jsa drama in ep 6

[opalimagines]

End of the Summer

The American Dream sponsors a fair to close out the summer. Takes place in the summer between seasons two and three.

Rick Tyler/gn!reader

Warnings: None

Notes: This was inspired by a fair that happens in the town my grandparents live in, which is a lot like Blue Valley. So it's not as unrealistic as it probably sounds lol.

Summer in Blue Valley was finally coming to a close.

To celebrate—and to help make up for the dreary weather earlier in the summer—the American Dream and other local businesses organized a full-blown carnival. On Saturday and Sunday, the whole of downtown would be taken over by rides and games and food stalls.

You decided you wanted to go the moment you heard about it, and luckily Rick and Jakeem agreed to go as well. Even Yolanda had managed to find an excuse to leave the house at the very last minute. Beth was volunteering all weekend at one of the booths, but she assured you all that she'd have an opportunity to get away and enjoy the fair while you were there.

This wasn't something that happened every year, but after such an odd summer, the town made it happen. Since it was the first day, the streets were crowded. It seemed that nearly everyone in town, and maybe even some from surrounding towns, had turned out to have fun.

The four of you had started out sticking together, but Yolanda went off to get something to eat, and Jakeem decided he wanted to go on the Gravitron after some convincing from his genie pal, so you and Rick ended up on your own.

After several minutes, you saw a face painting booth, ran by a few kids that Rick recognized as art students at Blue Valley High. There wasn't a line at the moment, but he was still surprised when you stopped. "I've never done this before. I'm going to give it a try."

"I'm gonna go find a game to play," he said, gesturing over towards the prize booths.

"I'll meet you after. Good luck!"

And, with that, Rick was on his own for a while.

He kept a casual pace, walking down the street and through the mass of people, looking for a game to pass the time. He chose to ignore the funny looks some of the student volunteers were giving him, just like he always did.

A prize at one of the booths caught his eye. A familiar speedy blue hedgehog, about a foot tall, hanging up along the top of the booth. Not only did you have a poster of him in your room, but you'd also convinced Rick to play one of the games with you during his second evening at the Garrick-Swift home. While he wasn't very good at playing as Tails—or as anyone, really—he thought he'd do much better at this water gun game and maybe win something for his friend.

Rick handed the operator a bit of cash, and after a few rounds, walked away with his very own Sonic.

"Hey, Rick!"

He turned around at the sound of your voice and found you making your way towards him in the crowd. The first thing he noticed was your face, which had been entirely painted like a tiger. It was a wonder you'd been able to sit still the whole time. He smiled a bit as you stopped in front of him. "Nice face paint."

"Thanks," you said with a grin. "It was my first time, so I wanted to go all out. How did your games go?"

Suddenly, Rick became very aware of the prize he held in his hand, and his cheeks began to warm. This was stupid. He should probably just give it away to a little kid or something—

"Oh, you won a Sonic? He's so cute!"

After a beat, Rick held it out to you. "You can have it if you want."

"Really?" You asked with wide eyes. He spent who knows how much money and put in effort into winning it, and he was just giving it to you?

"I had to pick a prize, and I'm not a stuffed animal guy," he said, as if he hadn't instantly thought of you the moment he laid eyes on it.

You reached out and took it, pushing back tears. No one besides your father and your other family (of sorts) from Opal City had ever given you anything like that. "Um, thanks. I love it."

Rick smiled, and you smiled back, but the moment was interrupted by Beth's voice.

"I see them over here!" You spotted her several yards away, Yolanda and Jakeem following behind. Once all five of you were together, she continued. "We're going on the ferris wheel. Do you guys want to come?"

"I do!"

You looked over at Rick hopefully, and he answered, "Yeah, sure."

The group began making their way in that direction as Beth noticed the toy that rested in the crook of your elbow. "You won a prize? That's great!"

"Actually, Rick won it and gave it to me. I was busy getting my face painted."

You didn't notice the look that she and Yolanda shared as you turned toward Jakeem. "Hey, how did you like the Gravitron?"

"It was awesome. I definitely didn't throw up," he answered very unconvincingly, so Thunderbolt's whisper-yell of "He's lying" surprised no one.

Once at the ferris wheel, you and Rick were put in one car, and Yolanda and Beth in another. Jakeem had managed to get one to himself, because the disembodied voice of the Thunderbolt was sure to freak someone out.

As people continued to be loaded up, your car was lifted up higher and higher. Rick looked out over the town, not caring too much for the view. He knew he'd lived other places before, but he could only remember Blue Valley. The place he desperately wanted to escape, where he was probably never going to be seen as anything but a troubled kid, except by a handful of people. He enjoyed the quiet of the woods outside of town, but that was about it.

"Wow, what a view!"

He turned towards you and saw you leaning out of the side of the car a bit, clutching onto your Sonic. For a split second, he almost grabbed onto you to keep you safely inside, but he quickly realized you were still pretty secure. Not that falling out would be a problem for you anyway, considering you could apparently run up and down buildings with ease.

"You mean the endless cornfields?"

"Yeah, you probably don't find it too exciting. But I've lived in big cities my whole life. There's not much of this, mostly just skyscrapers as far as the eye can see." You sat back fully in your seat and looked over at him. "You should visit Opal someday. I could take you to the views no one else can get to, like the top of the electric company building. It's got a little of the ocean, a little of the skyline, and Opal Gardens, too. You can even see a bit of Turk County."

Being on top of a skyscraper didn't sound like a good time, but he didn't hate the idea of visiting your home city and getting a tour of the best sights. "That sounds cool."

"Maybe we can go during spring break? We've got our home there, so you could stay a few days if you wanted to. Papa would probably like going back home for a while." You realized that you were getting way too ahead of things, and you quickly stopped yourself. "No pressure, of course, but it could be fun."

Rick gave you a little smile, fidgeting a bit with his hands. "You always make Opal City sound pretty great. You obviously love it a lot. I wouldn't mind seeing it."

I wouldn't mind showing it to you, you almost said, but your stomach was doing backflips, and not because of the ride.

You turned to once again look out of the side of the car, and Rick cleared his throat as he did the same.

Meanwhile, Beth and Yolanda could hear everything from the car above you, and they were already planning to text Courtney all about it.

[onesapphireeye]

dragon rider

You'd be lying if you said you weren't a massive fan of the rock group, The Valyrians. In fact, you did lie on your job application. Now, in your new position, you were their loyal servant in every sense of the word. Nonetheless, when their belongings start to vanish, Aemond begins to imagine you're the culprit and has finally caught you in the act.

modernband!aemond x reader.

warnings: NSFW. Not for minors. fingers in a v. use of she/her for reader. some cussing. bisexual reader. reader is a kleptomaniac.

nori says: i love you guys and i love that you loved my band au edit!!! this is not beta read. xoxo

word count: 1,670~

"You've really got to be joking." Rhaena's angelic voice cut through the air, and you looked from your feet to the pile of odds and ends gathered around your backpack. "Stealing is one thing, but the things you chose are plain weird."

"Stealing is wrong, no matter what you take," Helaena chided from the doorway. "I understand wanting trinkets, but please stop."

"She can't stop. Look at all this shit—you're a fucking pervert." Baela muttered. You couldn't find a way to disagree. 

Your backpack was stuffed with an eclectic mix of their most personal possessions. It started with an innocent intention—to return Hel's ladybug scrunchie that you'd seen her leave behind in the dressing room five cities ago.

But then, you saw Rhae's lip gloss laying on a counter and couldn't resist taking it. You remembered watching her apply it, in that slow sexy way where not a spot on her lips wasn't shiny, and went back to the hotel and practically made out with the wand.

Baela's favorite bra had been the riskiest thing until today, your heart beat rapidly every time you heard her complain to the stylist about how it had come up missing. You liked to wear it as you finger fucked yourself, imagining her arms were the ones wrapped around you.

There were other things too.

Thank you cards meant for other fans, a pair of socks, earrings from all of them, Baela's gua sha roller, Helaena's set of butterfly hair clips, Rhaena's colored pencils and a sketch pad... Even a used compostable coffee cup.

You had collected so much from the girls. You didn't want to forget how special they had made you feel when this job was over. They had been so, so good to you, including you in everything, making you feel less like a lackey and more like one of them. You had gone above and beyond being just an admirer, you were obsessed. You wanted that feeling to last forever.

"We don't have time for this!" Baela shouted, "I want everything that you took back and you better be cool about it. I don't want any Yolanda Saldívar shit happening."

"Baela!" The other two girls tried to reign in their drummer, but she was adamant.

"No, don't Baela me! Clearly she's insane and out of line." You watched the girls' feet walk out of the room and winced when the door slammed behind them. Thankfully, they took it better than you expected and, most importantly, you hadn’t been fired yet.

You were about to go for your backpack when you noticed Aemond was still in the room. He snagged it up and began to rifle through your treasures. Your eyes finally lifted from the ground and you frowned at him. You sighed in annoyance when he pulled out the pair of underwear you had managed to get from Rhaena today. He gave a quizzical raise of an eyebrow and a smirk etched onto his lips, but he didn't seem to be judging you and that made the hair on the back of your neck raise in a pleasant way.

"What did you take of mine?" Aemond spoke for the first time since he had called the girls in here after catching you zipping up your back pack. You had seen him watching you for the last few days, but the thrill of taking something new outweighed your sense of self preservation.

In truth, you hadn't taken anything of Aemond's. He had been your reason for applying for this job in the first place, but you came to realize that his blasé blah stage persona was real. In the beginning of the tour, he had been... well you couldn't quite say warm, but he had been warmer toward you. Now, he was all stares and silence.

His eyes seemed to be constantly on you, he'd linger around and watch, but you did whatever you could to try to put him in awkward circumstances. Like bending over for too long and then glancing over to see if he was peeking up your skirt. The answer was always yes, but he never looked embarrassed when caught.

"Why would I take anything of yours?" You gave him a smile that was all teeth and more of a snarl. You had long ago dropped the shy girl act you put on for the others. He wasn't nice to you, so fuck him.

"Do you think I'd want to remember you, Aemond?" You heard him suck his teeth and watched as he dropped the backpack to step closer to you.  He was so tall, looming over you, but you didn't back down. Instead, you matched his gaze with your own heated intensity. "Or are you just upset I don't get aroused by the thought of you?"

His eyes glowed with something that made you think you misread his previous intentions. Maybe he hadn't been acting nonchalant? Maybe he genuinely wanted you?

You decided to test your theory.

"Poor little neglected, Aemond. Upset the crazy girl didn't take anything from him?"

He grabbed your lower face with one of his large hands, the studded rings on his fingers were warm and pressed into your skin ever so slightly. "There's nothing little about me, Sweetheart."

Aemond's thumb came to trace your bottom lip and you bit it playfully. His eyes watched in fascination as you sucked it into your mouth. "Your mouth is as naughty as your thoughts, huh?" he said as he pushed it deeper, so that all you could do was moan in response.

He pulled his finger from your mouth, only to lean down and replace it with his tongue. Your body reacted to the sensation with a moan of pleasure. His hands moved to your hair, gently pulling it as he kissed you.

You both stumbled backwards until your back hit a wall. He continued to kiss you hungrily, as if he couldn't get enough of you. You opened your eyes to find him watching you intently, and let out a small groan.

Aemond finally broke away from the kiss and looked at you with burning desire in his eyes. "Do you want to remember me?" he asked hoarsely. Without waiting for a response, he hurriedly tugged at his shirt until it was off and tossed away across the room. You gasped at the sight of his bare chest, admiring the hard planes and curves of muscle beneath the smooth skin.

His hands came up to cup your face, and he stared deeply into your eyes before leaning down to press feather-light kisses along your jawline and neck. Your breathing was so loud that it filled the entire room as electricity seemed to travel through every nerve ending in your body. He grabbed one of your wrists and pinned it above your head as one of his legs came between yours trapping you against the wall.

"Say yes," he murmured huskily against your ear before pulling away just enough to look into your eyes again.

"Yes," you nodded vigorously, feeling yourself grow more lost in him with each passing second. "I want to remember you."

He spun you around in a swift and graceful motion, taking you by surprise. Only then did you notice that Aemond had backed you up to the large mirror wall in the dressing room; and you found yourself staring into your own reflection.

You could feel his breath on the back of your neck and it sent a shiver through your body. His hands moved up and down your torso as he held you tight in his embrace, and his lips found the nape of your neck and kissed it lightly.

He started to move his attention lower, squeezing and caressing your hips and ass. You felt your body responding to his touch, and you found yourself pushing back against him as he continued to explore.

There was a mounting pressure between your legs, as Aemond's fingers pulled the bottom hem of your mini skirt up and moved your underwear to the side. He brushed against your clitoris, eliciting another moan from your lips. His other hand massaged your inner thighs, and you could feel yourself getting wet.

He leaned in closer to whisper, his voice low and full of desire. "Yeah, I'll give you a reason to want to remember me." The words sent excitement coursing through your body and you pushed back against him harder, wanting more.

He seemed to understand what you wanted, as he alternated between soft caresses and firmer strokes around your clitoris, teasing it until it was hard and swollen with desire. You were so close now that you could feel your legs trembling as he continued to stroke you nearer to the edge.

The sensations were overwhelming, yet still not enough.

"Aemond," You whimpered out his name. He moved further down and began rhythmically rubbing around your entrance before slipping a finger inside of you.

When you were slick and ready, Aemond added another finger and then another, stretching you wide open as he pumped his hand into your sensitive flesh. You felt yourself beginning to spiral out of control as he moved his fingers in and out of you faster and faster.

You could feel the pleasure radiating throughout your body with every thrust, and you could see your fucked out reflection in the mirror.

Finally, you reached the peak of satisfaction and let out a loud gasp as an intense wave of euphoria swept through you. Your eyes closed in ecstasy. Your body throbbed and your head spun as Aemond continued toying with you until you were completely spent.

As he pulled his fingers out of you, you felt yourself melt against him, exhausted and in awe of the experience you had just shared. You opened your eyes to see him looking at you through the mirror with a satisfied smirk. He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead and stepped back.

"You're fired."

[hournites]

Hands Off the Wheel

Hournite fluff ~ ❤️

~.~ 

When she gets there, Yolanda shoves his bag on the coffee table over to dump her own, giving Rick the boot on the sofa to make room for her. 

“Where’s Beth?” She reaches for the blanket throw, tossing it over her legs and pulls out her phone. 

“Library.” 

Yolanda glances up from her Instagram feed. 

Rick scowls, her unsaid words irritating him. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” 

“You said that yesterday.” 

“I know,” Rick bites out. “I mean it this time.” 

“You can’t hide this forever.”

“I can, actually.” 

Courtney walks in with the cookies from her mom. Yolanda picks a soft one from the corner while Rick scoops up five at once. 

“Are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?” 

“Yes,” Yolanda says at the same time Rick says, “No.” 

The girls share a look. 

Courtney teeters on the arm of the sofa, something she’d been scolded not to do five hundred times by Pat but has yet to listen. “We can help you if you want.” 

Rick stops eating cookies to lick at his chocolate-stained thumb. “How?” 

“Well…�� Courtney crosses a leg over the other. “We can drop hints about it, warm her up to the idea…” 

Rick leans back against the sofa and closes his eyes with a soft groan. “You make it sound like it’s something she needs to be warmed up to.” 

“No!” Courtney backtracks when Yolanda lets out a little laugh. 

“No! That’s not what I mean!” 

“It’s what you said, Court.” 

Courtney throws a half-moist cookie at Yolanda, earning a high shriek in response as she wipes chocolate out of her hair. 

Rick lets out a weary sigh, palms still pressed over his eyes. “Maybe I’m overthinking this and it’s just something I’ll get rid of. I don’t need to tell Beth at all. We can forget it ever happened.” 

“Tell me what?” 

They all jump. 

“Jesus!” Rick yelps as his face warms. “How long have you been there?” 

Beth stands in the doorway next to Pat, Chuck perched on top of her coiffed hair. She slides her backpack down her arm to smile confusedly at her friends. “A few seconds?” She looks up at Pat. “My bike had a flat. Pat drove me in.” 

“A flat!?” Courtney exclaims. “Are you okay?” 

“She’s fine,” Pat says, heading into the kitchen for the source of the cookie scent, the plate between the teens empty with crumbs. 

Beth waves off her concern. “Yeah, I’m fine. What does Rick want to tell me?” 

Yolanda looks at Rick who looks at Courtney who looks back at Rick. 

“Um,” he says. 

“He likes your outfit?” Yolanda fills in. She gets up and leaves the awkward room. 

Beth doesn’t buy it, folding her arms over her blue striped blouse. “What’s so odd about that?” 

“Nothing,” Rick reassures her, wiping his sweaty hands against his jeans. “It’s um. Can I talk to you, outside? Alone?” 

Beth tilts her head at him. “...Why?” 

“Because I want to tell you that thing. That I need to tell you.” 

Courtney stares at them, fixated. 

“It’s nothing bad!” she blurts out when Beth catches her eye. 

Her shoulders relax and she agrees, walking back out with Rick. 

“Did I say something to bother you or something or maybe Chuck went out of line? Because obviously I’m missing something and everyone else knows and I get that I usually miss some stuff sometimes but this feels really weird and I’m sorry if I—” 

“I built you a car.” 

Beth blinks. “I beg your pardon?” 

Rick swallows. “A car. I fixed one up for you. I know you didn’t ask but you’ve been studying for your license and then I had a few parts and then a few weeks went by and suddenly I had a Dodge Challenger in my driveway...”

Her expressive eyes are round and wide, Rick can’t tell what she’s thinking when her mouth parts like that. He shifts his weight from one foot to another, trying not to panic. “Look, Beth, I know you didn’t ask for a car, certainly not from me, but it just sort of happened, so....”

The gears turned slowly in her head. “You built me. A car. From car parts. For me.” 

“...You don’t have to accept it. I can probably sell it off or something—”

Beth’s hands are in her afro, processing Rick’s words at last and shrieks. Rick startles, taking a step back.  “Are you kidding?” She cries. “You built me a car?!”

“I’m sorry!” 

“You’re sorry!?” Beth launches at him, hugging him hard enough for Rick to stumble backwards. “Don’t be sorry!” 

Rick wasn’t yet prepared to have her in his arms, but she’s squeezing so fiercely he can’t help but hug her just as tight. “So you’re not weirded out?”

Beth laughs and pulls away, staring out across the street before turning back. “I don’t know what to say!” She hits his arm excitedly. “Rick!! That’s crazy! You’re amazing! Why would you do that for me?”

“You’re the only one I ever really want to make things for,” he answers honestly. 

A huge grin breaks across her face and then she’s reaching up to hug him again. “What colour is it?”

Rick fights back his smirk. “Green for Dr. Mid-Nite? It matches your suit.”

“Riiiiick!” She squeals, jumping up and down in an exuberant happy dance and puts a hand to her face and sits down. “I need a second.”

Rick watches as she stares wide-eyed at her shoes, processing the information.

“It’s just a car.”

“It is not just a car and you know it! It’s a car!” She slaps her hands over her cheeks. “Oh my gosh!”

“Do you wanna see it?” 

“Yes!” 

They get ready to go. Courtney and Yolanda peek out the front window of the living room with a second batch of cookies, giving Rick very annoying, very knowing looks. 

Yolanda’s nose scrunches up with amusement when Beth runs out with her purse and straps herself into Rick’s passenger seat, honking on the horn to get Rick to pick up the pace and drive her to West Farms.

“Sounds like she’s pretty happy ‘bout that car,” she says. 

They toss his keys through the window. Rick twirls them around his hand with a half-hearted eye roll when Courtney starts making kissing noises at him. 

~.~ 

“You pushed the seat up!” Beth palms at the steering wheel as she gets a feel for the make, grinning from ear to ear. 

Rick watches with his chin propped up by his hand, elbow over the black horizontal stripes on the hood with an easy smile. “Course I did. You’re tiny.” 

He’s rewarded with a splutter behind the dashboard. “And it’s safe?” 

“Pat looked it over after I did.” 

She checks for herself anyway and Rick is proud of her for it, scanning the interior, exterior and engine with the X-Ray vision mode of her goggles.

They go for a test drive around the wide roads of the Farm Lands, Rick answering her questions as they pop up. She still needs to pass her final test for her licence next month, but he’s not worried about that. Beth had a round of anxiety behind the wheel when she first started learning, but with Rick and, surprisingly, Mike’s encouragement (definitely not Courtney’s), she managed to push through. Beth parks along the dirt stretch of Rick’s property and sighs like a dream.

“You were great. You looked comfortable.” 

Beth ducks her head with a timid smile at his praise. Her hands fall to her lap and she squeezes her fingers together over her navy blue flared pants. “I can’t believe you did this all by yourself.” 

Rick shrugs, somehow more embarrassed now than before trying to choke the words out on Courtney’s front porch. “It’s just a 2008. It’s not fancy.” 

All of the parts might’ve come from Zeek’s junkyard but Beth doesn’t seem to care how it was made by her reverence. “Yes, it is.” Her hand runs along the leather seat and rests it on the centre console. “It’s beautiful, Rick.” 

She laughs. It’s contagious and strings him along until her giddiness simmers down and looks at him some more with that appraising eye of hers. Rick wants to look out the window to diffuse the sudden heat when she does that. He can’t. He wants to suffer in it. 

“I think I’m in love.” 

Her smile is soft and light and as the sun sets orange outside behind her, Rick is compelled to agree.  

“Good. I’m glad you like it so much.” 

Beth bites her lip and nods. Her fingers start to tap, and Rick frowns at them, wondering why she’s picking up the tick she developed before she was at ease in the driver’s seat. 

“What?” he prods when Beth goes silent, concerned. “Beth?” 

“Yeah, um…” Beth looks out the window, at Rick’s house and his yellow Mustang a little further ahead. The expanse of field and the dusk horizon overhead. Beth meets his caring gaze. And the power in it pulls him forward unwittingly. Her intensity has him breathless. 

She takes his hand to squeeze. “I’m not talking about the car.” 

~.~ 

“Did it work?” Court cajoles when Rick comes back through the front. “Did Beth kiss you?” 

He blushes, moving past her to get his bag. 

“That’s not why I built it,” he complains for the hundredth time. 

“She kissed him,” Yolanda decides without even looking up from her phone, still snuggled into the spot she stole from him on the couch. “Beth just posted the relationship on Facebook.” 

Court sticks out her tongue and fake gags. “Beth still uses Facebook?” 

“Hey.” Rick swipes the final cookie from the counter as she continues with her theatrics. “Pat uses Facebook.”

Courtney groans. “That’s my point!” 

Rick walks out. “Later.” 

Yolanda sits up straight. “What? Where are you going?” 

“Well...Beth took the car to her house so....” Rick stops at the doorway, donning a stupid smirk as it properly sinks in. “I gotta drive my girlfriend’s bike home.” 

[morizoras-cave]

Don’t Apologize (Request)

Sebastian Stan x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Anthony Mackie x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: Hi🖐 Can I please request a cast x teen reader and there in an interview and she's quite shy and doesnt talk much and the interviewer knows that so they ask her all the questions but she cant and she starts to cry so the cast get angry or something. I love your writing♥️

Warnings: language, anxiety

(A/N): so sorry i didnt do this like i usually do my cast x readers, i only chose seb and anthony for this. i hope its still alright. and im back to requests again, although it’s been fun doing some of my own work (and also work with loz, that beautiful bastard) for a while :)

“See you later, Bryan.. If you know what I mean!” Anthony yelled after the last interviewer, as he shuffled out the room with his list of unanswered. You and Sebastian were cackling, wiping your tears. You’d lost track of how many interviews you’d had to sit through of Anthony talking about his ‘round brown’. 

“Oh my god, how many of these do we have left?” Sebastian asked, calming down finally, and running a hand through his hair. 

“Why? You have something you want to tell me?” Anthony joked accusingly, looking from Sebastian to you. You shook your head silently, hoping to not be dragged into one of their never ending discussions. 

“Don’t- Don’t drag me into your shit, Mackie,” you mumbled. A wheeze escaped Anthony at your shy mumble. “Why couldn’t they just have paired me with Elizabeth again?”

Before Anthony could begin joking and making you and Sebastian laugh again, another interviewer walked in. She looked uptight and collected, wearing professional clothing and holding rather official looking papers. 

“Hello, I’m Yolanda,” she greeted Sebastian with a toothpaste-smile, and shook his hand firmly, before doing the same to you and Anthony. She was intimidating, not casual or approachable, but someone who had their shit together. 

She seemed interested in you right from the start. In her first few questions, she’d always look directly at you while asking. Her sharp gaze was anxiety inducing, even more so than all the other interviewers. Sebastian and Anthony ended up answering for you though, knowing that you were shy and uncomfortable with people. Yolanda didn’t seem satisfied with this though.

“Y/n,” now she was addressing you directly, spitting your name from her mouth like poison, “would you say that this movie is in line with you and your coworkers’ character arcs?” 

You were sure you could answer it. Well, if you were at home, talking to your pillow. Right there you could feel your heart beating painfully against your ribcage. Both of the men on either side of you definitely heard the way your breathing picked up.

“Uh. Well. Yeah, to a- to a degree. Some of them,” you choked out. Pathetically, you realized you were blinking away tears. No one had noticed yet, thank goodness. What a stupid thing to cry about, you thought. 

“Do you think it aligns with the comics’ character arcs? Do you think it’s good to diverge from the original story?” She asked intensely, eyes still boring into yours. You kept your gaze at the floor sheepishly, picking at your nails. 

Sebastian looked down at your hands in your lap, and quickly grabbed one in his hold, preventing you from picking your fingers. 

“Um.. Well, I think- I think that there are a lot of, you know, um, storylines and arcs in the, uh, the comics, so staying canon could mean a- a lot of things,” when you finished your sentence, you breathed out in relief. Your entire torso seemed inhabited by a wild, unresting anxiety, tingling and aching. 

A single tear slid down your face, and you quickly rushed the hand that was not in Sebastian’s to wipe it away. This definitely did not go unnoticed. You immediately felt Sebastian squeeze your hand and Anthony putting his arm around you protectively. 

“What the damn hell, lady? You’re stressing them out!” Anthony boomed, gesturing wildly with his free hand. You looked up and saw Sebastian’s jaw clenched and brows furrowed. Anthony had a similar expression, you discovered when you turned to him, a frown prominent on his features, and intense eyes. 

“What’s your problem?” Sebastian yelled. The woman seemed taken aback, mouth agape and on her chest like she couldn’t believe that they thought this was her fault. 

“It’s not my fault they started crying!” she said. Her voice shook quietly, clenching her hands around the bottom of the chair she sat on. 

“Yeah, it is your fault!” Anthony said. Meanwhile, you sat there uncomfortably, shaking. She was right, you thought, it was your fault for being such a baby, she was just doing her job. 

“I’m- I’m sorry, it’s not your fault-” you begun, finally raising your head to meet the woman’s eyes. Her gaze made you tremble. She was bristling. 

“No, Y/n, don’t apologize. It is her fault.” Sebastian cut you off, squeezing your hand once more, encasing it in his two. Anthony nodded angrily. 

“Alright, I think it’s best if you leave.” Another woman, whom you recognized as Anthony’s publicist, came racing into the interview. She put her hands on her hips, and nodded towards the door sassily. 

The interviewer huffed, and gave you another furious look. “You’ll hear of this on my blog. The world will know!” Then she got up and away, stomping all the way out. You breathed a sigh of relief, the moment the door closed behind her. 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian immediately turned to you, searching your eyes again. His heart broke at the way you trembled. You nodded. 

“Man, that woman was an asshole!” Anthony, too, could feel the way you shook under his arm on your shoulders. “That was not your fault, she was just a dick!” 

“Agreed!” Sebastian scoffed, hands still holding yours. 

Anthony’s publicist studied you three for a moment, furrowing her brows and chewing her lips. Then she looked at the filming crew, and the back at you three. “How about we say we’re done for today?” 

You all looked up, “Really?”

“I’ll handle the marvel dudes. You guys just take the rest of the day off,” she smiled warmly at you, a caring look in her eyes. A grin stretched on your face. Anthony and Sebastian exchanged glances when they saw your face, smiling.

“Back to the hotel then!” Sebastian grunted as you all stood up. You left and drove back to the hotel, and when you got there you ate sandwiches and chips. After that the three of you played Mario Kart together (something you’d taught them, and they’d absolutely fallen in love with it). 

“Fuck you, Stan!” Anthony spat, doing a flip over Sebastian’s kart and getting into 3rd place. You giggled from your place on 1st. 

“Oh fuck, don’t do this, Mackie, don’t do this!”

“Adios, Amigo!” Anthony cackled, disappearing far in front of Sebastian. The latter threw his head back in defeat. The round ended, you crossing the finish line on first, Anthony on second and Sebastian on fourth. 

“That was a shitty round, I demand a rematch,” he said, sipping his water. Anthony scoffed and shook his head. You did too. 

“Hey, by the way, N/n?” Anthony was looking at you from his place beside you on the couch. You nodded questioningly. “You know that wasn’t your fault, right? What happened back there with that lady?” 

You grew quiet, heat rising to your cheeks. Sebastian had a look on his face. You guessed they had talked together, that they would bring it up with you again. 

“Because it wasn’t. It’s not your fault you feel this way. It was that lady who should have been more mindful of you and how you feel. She was clearly trying to take advantage of your timidness to make you spoil something,” Sebastian continued. He still seemed angry, actually, clenching his hand. 

“So don’t apologize for that stuff, alright? That ain’t on you,” Anthony patted your back. You looked at him and then Sebastian with a smile, and then nodded sheepishly. 

“Alright, yeah. I guess you’re right,” you said softly.

“Of course we’re right!” Anthony was (unsurprisingly) immediately back to normal, “now back to the game, kiddos. Sebastian wants a rematch, he’ll get one.”

And then you played Mario Kart together for an unspecified number of hours, the thought of that asshole interviewer long gone. You felt right at home, at number one in Mario Kart and number one in their hearts. 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[killervibe]

Give and Take

Stargirl fic - Hournite post 1x09 

Summary: Beth and Rick debate Henry’s right to a position on the team. 

@diorsromantics @azhamdrety

~.~ 

Beth watched Rick pace from her seat on Mr. Dugan’s leather loft couch. She curled her fingertips into the sleeves of her sweater in an attempt to curb her nail-biting habit, one leg folded under the other. His own hand flexed like he wanted to do something with them. 

 A nervous tick, Chuck informed her. 

  She wasn’t looking to know—It wasn’t like Beth was prying for Rick’s tells. Chuck just sort of gave her the information she didn’t know what to do with, as he did with nearly everything. Beth always had questions for her questions, but she was beginning to learn that embracing Dr. Mid-Nite came with accepting too much detail. Still curious, her questioning concern never wavered. Her mind spiralled with thoughts so fast, all the time. She ached to know things. 

 It was different with Rick.  After discovering the truth about his parents’ accident, Beth’s feelings were conflicted about what she had a right to learn so freely about him. 

  It was just a hand flex. 

  With a stab of guilt, she tucked Chuck into her backpack.

  The chilling realization that the ISA might be cementing a separatist agenda in the space between sewers and pipes under Blue Valley did little to curb the mounting pile of untouched homework. But it was easy to shove that work aside for later when she couldn’t even concentrate, not in this uncomfortable, eerie silence with Rick’s agitated footsteps.  

  “...Rick.”

  “I don’t get it, Beth. I don’t. Are we the JSA or are we the Care Bears?”

  He met her gaze when she bit down on her lip, barely suppressing her giggle. He let out such a heavy sigh it was almost a groan. 

 “No, I’m serious—I wanna know.”

Somehow their conversation shifted from the urban planning books to Courtney’s plan to talk to Henry. She shrugged.

  He tugged at the strings of his yellow hoodie and his eyes narrowed at her. 

  “You’ve been awfully quiet about this. You’re usually doing all the talking.” 

  “Courtney sees the good in people.”

  “—And you?”

  Beth’s eyebrows creased together, looking down at her hands. “Courtney said he was confused and that we could help him by showing him what it’s like to have a team. Friends.” 

  He didn’t answer. Beth swallowed, chancing a glance to find him looking right at her. His eyes were so piercing, she froze in place, unable to do anything but return his gaze, transfixed. Something prickled at the back of her neck. Heat--not a shiver. Mr. Dugan’s garage had good insulation. Her palms itched to reach for her backpack zipper to ask Chuck what this feeling was, how it was caused.  

  “Beth,” he said quietly, his voice softened as he took another step closer. “You’re not Courtney. I asked about you.” 

  He took the opposite edge of the couch, his arm leaning against the back of the cushion.

  Beth took a deep breath. “Yolanda has a right to be angry and disagree, but I don’t think Courtney is wrong to talk to him.”  

  “—So you think we should just let Henry work with us as what—community service? Then hope Yolanda comes around?”

  “Maybe?”

  “Well shit, Beth. Life is more complicated than that.” 

  “You asked for my opinion,” she snapped. “So don’t swear at me.” 

  Rick started at her tone.

“Henry is different,” Beth continued, pulling her knees to her chest on the couch. “Henry has been...insensitive since we were little, but he’s also been so close to Cindy Burman. Maybe he knows something is off about his life, but he’s never been offered any alternative. We could be that alternative, Rick.” 

  “Henry ruined Yolanda’s life. That’s not insensitive. It’s cruel.” 

  “I know.” Beth groaned, burying her head in her hands. “I know. I don’t know.” 

  “He’d know everything about you, and I don’t mean what Chuck tells you. I mean every nasty crooked tiny thought flooding through your mind. He’d know about it before you could even process. Who the hell would want that, knowing what he’d done? He’d knock us on our asses after a single disagreement.”

  “He’d do that anyway if we let him get groomed by the ISA. We don’t know the whole story.”  

  “Damnit, Beth.” He smacked his hand hard against the edge of the coffee table. He knew she was right. He knew it. It was an extremely inopportune time, but she felt her smirk coming on anyway. 

  “I never said that I’d like having him on the JSA if we had to have him.” 

  Rick let out a sigh, dropping back onto the couch. 

  “Hey,” Beth said, inching closer. He lolled his head to the side. She grabbed his arm, inspecting the red line through his palm from his hit. “You need to stop doing that. You don’t have super strength all the time, okay? This furniture looks as old as Mr. Dugan’s cars here.” 

  “Are you mom-ing me?” 

  “Noooo,” she said, drawing out the syllable. “I’d just hate having to explain to Mr. Dugan that I had to drag you to the hospital for a tetanus shot.” 

  Rick laughed, pulling his hand away and shaking it out. “I can’t believe you call him Mr. Dugan.” 

  Beth’s mouth twisted at the thought of the alternative. “I’m not calling him Pat.” 

  He smiled. “Sure.” 

  Beth’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, scrolling through texts from her parents. They wanted to know where she was for once. It’s been a while since she sent them hourly updates, it’s possible they’re starting to notice her disappearances are no longer to walk around the giftshops or cafeterias of the hospital. 

  When she finished typing out a reply to reassure them she’d be coming home soon and sent another stream of texts to Yolanda, Rick picked up one of the abandoned urban planning books. 

  “I thought you wanted me and Chuck to go through all of those.” 

  “I changed my mind,” said Rick. 

  Beth tried not to let her amusement show, throwing a few of them into her own bag to read up on after her homework. 

  “Are you leaving?” 

  “Yeah, my parents want me home. You want to come?” 

  “I think I’ll stay here a bit longer,” he said. “My uncle doesn’t want me home.” 

  Beth’s face softened, that heat creeping up her neck again. “Okay.” 

  On second thought, her parents were still on their double shift. It wasn’t like they’d be waiting for her at home. She could stay a bit longer. Instead of making her way down, she pulled out her English lit notes, returning to her spot to go over them a couple of times for that reading comprehension test on Thursday. 

  Rick shifted to give her some room but didn’t comment on her change of mind.

  “...Rick?” she asked, thirty minutes of studying later.

  He didn’t take his eyes off his page. “Yeah?” 

  “We can agree to disagree about Henry,” getting up to go for real this time. “But whatever happens, we stick up for Yolanda. She is JSA and our friend. Henry isn’t. If Henry chooses to be a part of the team, it has to be his own decision, not because Courtney told him we want him here. I think it’s clear we don’t.” 

  Rick’s eyes flicked above the top spine of the dusty old book. She couldn’t see the rest of his face from her angle standing up by the stairs, but by the glint in his eye, he didn’t look annoyed. Far from it, actually. 

  “You’re not as naive as I thought, Beth.” 

  She pulled on the strap of her Champion bag, holding onto her blue helmet tightly, a funny smile spreading across her face. “Thanks, I think.” 

  “Yeah, it’s a compliment.” 

[isaacmcadoo]

I Need You To Need Me

A/N: This is a companion piece to my work from a few days ago Oh, My Life Is Changing Everyday that you can read here. You can also read this fic on my AO3 here. Enjoy!

Beth was getting worried. She thought she was being so ridiculously obvious with her feelings for Rick, but the more time she spent with him, the more it seemed that Rick did not feel the same way. He had shown no interest whatsoever, and her heart was breaking.

Henry poked Beth’s shoulder and broke her out of her trance.

“Earth to Beth,” Beth jumped slightly before turning to look him in the eye.

“What’s up?” She responded, reaching across his lap to grab a piece of popcorn and then popped it in her mouth. Henry swatted her away as he responded.

“You were daydreaming during the best part!” Henry whacked her bicep with the back of his hand. Beth put her hands up in surrender.

“Sorry…” Henry scoffed at her lazy apology.

“Don’t you dare pretend to be sorry. One, I know you aren’t, and two,” Henry smirked, “You were thinking about Rick. So you don’t really need to apologize to me? But you should apologize to Christopher Lloyd.” Beth rolled her eyes before training her eyes on the television.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lloyd, can you ever forgive me?” Beth pleaded with the screen. Henry nodded in approval, and the two fell into a short comfortable silence. Until Beth remembered what Henry had said about Rick.

“It’s so not fair that you can read minds.” Beth grumbled as she side-eyed Henry as he smirked and gently leaned over her until he was lying on top of her.

“I didn’t,” Beth could not handle this right now, so she sat up and pushed Henry up off of her.

“Shut up, I’m trying to watch the movie!”

“Why are you telling me to shut up! You’re the one that started talking first!”

“SHHHHH!” Beth put a finger up to cover her mouth and then moved it to Henry’s, making him laugh and the pair began silently watching the movie again.

The next day, Beth was at the grocery store with Yolanda, trying to decide what to make Courtney for her birthday cake.

“What’s her favorite kind of frosting, again?” Beth asked, looking up at Yolanda.

“Chocolate cream cheese,” she responded, immediately. Beth smirked as she grabbed the powdered sugar and baking chocolate off the shelf.

“And her favorite cake flavor?”

“Funfetti.” Beth covered her mouth to hide the giggle, but she couldn’t hide it from Yolanda.

“What?”

“You’re just very obviously in love with her.”

“Just because I know her favorite cake and frosting doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.” Beth glanced at her skeptically, as she reached for the rainbow sprinkles. Yolanda sighed.

“Okay, fine, but I’m not the only love sick fool here.” Beth looked up, confusion in her eyes. Yolanda rolled her eyes.

“Don’t even pretend that you aren’t completely in love with Rick.” Beth felt the heat rise in her cheeks before she set her jaw and stood up straight.

“Who said that I wasn’t?” Yolanda looked at her with wide eyes.

“Excuse me?” Beth grinned.

“I never said I wasn’t in love with him,” she left her words hanging in the air as she turned and walked down the aisle, Yolanda stared for a moment, shocked, before hurrying after her friend.

“You’re willing to admit it so quickly, though?” Yolanda questioned as she caught up with Beth, who shrugged.

“It’s the way I feel, so what’s the point of denying it?” Beth spoke casually as she scanned the cooler for the cream cheese.

“But it doesn’t scare you?”

“Oh, I’m terrified, constantly,” Beth grabbed a few packets of cream cheese, “And I don’t really plan on telling him, but when he’s not around, why deny it? I trust you not to tell him.” Beth smiles at Yolanda, who smiles back.

“So I promise not to tell Courtney if you promise not to tell Rick.”  Beth held her hand out to shake, and Yolanda returned it, beaming.

“So I guess we get to vent about being obvious and them being stupid,” Yolanda joked as the pair  began the trek to the checkout line. Beth laughed before pushing Yolanda gently with her basket.

The next day, Beth, with Yolanda and Henry’s help, was making the cake and some treats for the party. She shook her head as Yolanda ‘accidentally’ spilt some of the melted chocolate on Henry.  He retaliated by dropping an egg on the top of her head. They began to laugh as they both grabbed a handful of powdered sugar nodded at each other, and threw it at Beth. She squawked as it hit her face before she opened her eyes and launched a handful of sprinkles in their direction. The food fight continued to escalate until the trio heard the door open. They stood frozen as Rick walked into the kitchen.

His eyes surveyed the mess they had made before he let his eyes fall on Beth, who was the messiest of all.

“What the hell happened here?”

Beth shrugged her shoulders helplessly before Henry and Yolanda burst into a fit of laughter, they were soon followed by Beth. Rick could not be more confused, and Beth didn’t think much of it, but for a moment it looks like he was staring at her sadly. She calms down first and looks at the other two, hitting them both on the back of the head.

“We need to get cleaned up and you two need to finish making the frosting!” She scolded them and went over to the sink, grabbed a rag and began wiping her face off, before tossing one to Henry and Yolanda.

“Yolanda started a food fight.” Beth finally explained, smiling shyly at Rick. He returned the smile slowly.

“Henry started it! He cracked an egg on my head!” Yolanda broke the calm silence by whipping her towel towards Henry.

“Yeah, but you “accidentally” spilt that chocolate all over me!” Henry used air quotes to emphasize his point, and Yolanda whips him a few more times with the towel. He tries to duck and dodge but it doesn’t seem to work. Beth holds a hand up to her mouth and tries to stifle her laughs, before they both finally stop. The pair nodded at each other again, before they both took their rags and began whipping at Beth, who squealed and tried running around the kitchen. Beth hid behind Rick.

“Save me!” She squeaked from behind his back. He smiled back at her, making her beam up at him. He grabbed her towel from her and began whipping the other two with it. Beth’s heart fluttered at the sight of Rick coming to her rescue. Yolanda caught her and raised her eyebrows suggestively, making Beth blush. After a few moments they all calmed down. So Beth sets Henry and Yolanda to finishing up the frosting.

“Rick, you can help me make the beignet dough if you’d like, it needs to rise for twenty four hours.” Rick grins at the suggestion, he finally drops his backpack by the door before heading over to the sink to wash his hands. Beth holds up a pink frilly apron when he makes his way over to her and looks at it curiously.

“You saw what we looked like when you got here, you’re definitely going to want this,” she spoke before walking around and slipping it over his head. She took a deep, shaky breath before reaching around his waist and pulling the strings back. She tied them in a nice bow before gingerly placing her hands on his hips to spin him around to face her again. They stare into each others eyes for a few moments, neither taking a breath. She finally takes a breath before she lets out a howl of laughter, making Henry and Yolanda’s heads spin, they then both joined her. Rick’s face turned a very bright shade of red, before he smiled hesitantly.

“Guys, come on…” He fiddled with one of the ruffles on his shoulder as Beth began to catch her breath.

“I’m… I’m sorry, you just…” she giggled a few more time, “You look so cute!” Beth didn’t think it was possible for Rick to get anymore red, but he did, and she felt her heart swell in her chest before she turned and glared at their friends, who were still shaking from laughter. The look on her face, though, shut them up real quick. The pair then went back to making sure the frosting got properly mixed.

Beth turned back to Rick, a comforting smile on her face, she gestured at him to follow her. She brought him to the other side of the kitchen and began reaching for a pot that had somehow ended up on the top shelf. When it became clear she could not reach it, Rick took a step closer, lifting it up with ease, bringing it down to the counter in front of them. Beth turned to thank him, and suddenly became acutely aware of how close he had come to her. She looked up into his eyes and they stood like that, staring at each other, for longer than either could count. Beth felt herself leaning into him, and she could swear that he was leaning towards her too. Suddenly Yolanda’s giggle cut through whatever spell had fallen over them and they jumped apart, looking anywhere but at each other. Beth felt her heart speed up as they turned towards the counter and began to work silently side by side. Each very aware of the other’s presence beside them.

Beth sighed sadly as they worked silently side by side for a few moments. She sighed as she looked up, begging for Rick to feel the same.

‘Please, it’s all I really want.’ She thought as she glanced over at Rick’s face, scrunched in frustration as he measured out the ingredients. ‘And I don’t know how much longer I can take this.’

[sweet-teas-writing]

A Woman Scorned (Chp 3)

A/N: Hello beautiful people :) I'm so happy that you enjoyed the first two chapters last week! It makes me proud to know you're enjoying the story so far. And now here is a brand new Saturday, which means a brand new chapter. I will be posting each new chapter on Saturday, and, in this one, our dearest Ava will finally meet her old flame Alastor. Hope you guys enjoy and I love you all so much! Feel free to ask to be tagged into the tag list if you are not already.

Three: Ava, Meet Alastor

The sound of my alarm and the sun shining in from the window woke me up from a sound sleep. I groaned in annoyance and a bit of pain due to a slight headache as I sat up in the bed and looked over to my right. Jason was still asleep, snoring lightly. I glared angrily at him, wishing I could burn a hole through his skull. I hated… no I loathed him. The way he talks to me, the constant cheating. He told me that I wasn't good enough for him. But yet, the naive, heart-struck little girl in me was still in love with him, which is why I still put up with his shit. My head and my heart were always at constant war with each other, and each day it gets so hard on who to listen to.

I rubbed my temples, my headache starting to feel worse and took a deep sigh. I had to get it together, I had my big meeting today and I can't afford to get distracted. I got out of bed, making sure I didn't wake Jason, and headed to the bathroom to get ready. I opened the medicine cabinet and took two aspirin followed by a glass of water. I sprayed water in my hair and added my curling cream, making sure my bouncy curls stood out. I fluffed them out with a pick and side parted my hair. After taking a quick look in the mirror, I began to put on my makeup. I added some extra concealer to hide the puffiness around my eyes, followed by some eyeshadow and lip gloss. Satisfied, I walked over to the closet and pulled out my favorite white blouse and black slacks. After getting dressed, I put on my black stilettos, grabbed my blazer and purse, and grabbed a banana and a bottle of water before heading out the door.

Once I reached my car and climbed inside, I rolled down my windows and turned on the radio to find some upbeat music to listen to, needing a pick me up. While scrolling, I heard Mary J. Blige's song "Real Love" blast through the radio and it spoke to me. Her lyrics sang right through my soul, and I couldn't help but sing along loudly as I put on my sunglasses and drove out of the parking lot of my condo complex, feeling the cool, early morning Miami breeze and the warm sun.

I stopped for some coffee and a bagel before I arrived at my office. I walked into the meeting room to see Yolanda, Blake, and the rest of my team sitting around the table listening to a man tell some kind of story. I wasn't even paying attention to what he was actually saying because I was so fixated on his voice: confident, boisterous, and deep. His laugh made my body tingle; his speech so eloquent and charming that I could listen to him speak for hours. I knew that voice anywhere.

Yolanda saw me from the door and smiled, inviting me in.

"Ava! You're here! Come on in," she said. "There's someone we would like you to meet."

Everyone stood up from their seats, Blake had a devilish grin on his face, as Yolanda and our new client walked over to where I was standing. He wore a black suit with a crimson vest and tie and a neatly white pressed dress shirt. His shoes were also black but were lined with crimson accents. He was a very sharp dressed man. Upon looking at me, those bright, hazel eyes of his shone with adoration. A huge smile plastered his face, showing two rows of pearly white teeth. His hair, dark chocolate and thick, was coifed perfectly on top of his head. And he walked with a mixture of both grace and confidence. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face upon seeing him.

Yolanda gave me a quick hug before introducing me to our new client: "Ava, I would like you to meet our newest client to Springwells Marketing Agency, Alastor Montez. Alastor, this is the head of our marketing team, Ava…"

"Ava Thomas-Sanchez," Alastor said admiringly as he extended his hand out to me. "You still look as breathtaking as when we were in college. It is so good to see you again, my dear."

I chuckled before accepting his greeting. "It's actually Mitchell now," I told him as Alastor glanced at my wedding ring. "I'm... married."

Alastor blinked followed by a brief nod of his head. "Forgive me," he said apologetically. "Mrs. Mitchell."

I winced inwardly at his words. Why did that sound so gross? "It's okay," I said with a grin. "It's great to see you too, Alastor. I am really looking forward to working with you."

"As am I," he said.

I couldn't help but stare at him. It doesn't look like he's aged since college. His physique through his suit was noticeable, his chest large and impressive through his clothes. I would be lying if I said Alastor wasn't an attractive man. But I'm a married woman, so he is off limits. Strictly business and strictly professional.

Yolanda spoke up breaking me out of my trance: "So," she piped. "Shall we get started?"

Alastor and I look towards her: "Right, yes," I stammered. "Let's get started."

Alastor and Yolanda returned to their seats and the rest of the team sat down as I stood at the head of the table. I placed Alastor's file in front of me and turned to face him.

"So, you were mainly selling your products to a lot of wineries and country clubs back in California?" I asked Alastor.

"Indeed I was my dear," Alastor responded, the charm and flirtation thick in his voice. "California was known for producing wine so I figured it was the perfect place to set up my business. I started off at a few places here and there until the demand for my product grew, not just in California but across the West Coast. Most of the men who bought from me purchased cigars as well, because who doesn't like to smoke while drinking?" Alastor chuckled and my team were just hypnotized by his voice.

"So why the move to Miami?" I asked him curiously.

"Ah, Miami is an expert on knowing how to have a good time," Alastor stated confidently. "The number of nightclubs and restaurants here will make anyone here buy wine and cigars. Plus, I was bored out in California. I thought I needed a new change of…" he looked at me with a smirk. "Scenery."

I choked a bit before clearing my throat. Blake covered his mouth to stifle a laugh and Yolanda couldn't help but smile at my embarrassment.

"Right," I said after a moment. "Well, here at Springwells, we like to collaborate with our clients on the kinds of advertising that are best to promote their products to revenue the most profit than your competitors. According to your file, your distribution factory is set out in Orlando, and you charge $25 for each bottle and $80 for each box of cigars."

"Again, correct," Alastor said with a nod.

"So I would think it would be best to advertise in the upper class areas of Miami. Country clubbers, nightclub owners, charity donators, anyone who is willing to spend on the finer things. Maybe host a wine tasting event, add a couple of your cigars, anything to sell your product to your audience. We will work on the billboards and magazine ads to get your products out to the public."

"So determined," Alastor said with a grin. "You were always known to have such a bright mind, Ava."

"I'm flattered," I chuckled. "All I want is the best for our client, and I'm willing to do anything to achieve the satisfaction of them."

"Really now? I feel like I can be easily satisfied," Alastor said with a wink.

"You are very flirtatious today," I said shaking my head.

"Call it natural charm," Alastor chuckled.

I scoffed amusingly. "Same old Alastor."

"You know you've missed me," he chuckled.

"Well," I said to my team trying to tune him out. "We will get started immediately. We will attempt to get this done within the next two months, okay? Everyone get to work."

My team- minus Yolanda and Blake- snickered at me as they got up from the table and walked out of the meeting room. Alastor soon stood up from the table and made his way in front of me, holding out a small piece of paper.

"If you ever need to reach me," he said placing the paper in my palm. "You are more than welcome to give me a call."

I raised an eyebrow. "You do know I have your number in your file right?"

Alastor shrugged. "Well that's my business number. This one is a little more… personal."

I felt another blush creep up on my face but I immediately shook my head. "I…"

Yolanda took the piece of paper from my hand. "Thank you, Mr. Montez. That's very thoughtful."

Alastor shook his head and grinned. "Ah, my dear, you don't have to be so formal. Call me Alastor." He looked over at Blake still sitting down. "Both of you can."

"Mm, I'll call you whatever you want me to," Blake said with a wink.

Yolanda opened her mouth in soft gasp. "Okay. Alastor."

Alastor laughed. "You have very charming friends," he said to me. "It's good to see you again, Ava."

I nodded my head and bit the corner of my lip. "You too, Alastor. Um… I'll call you with the updates as we continue to work on expanding your business."

"I look forward to hearing your voice," he whispered.

I sped walked towards the meeting door: "Okay, time for you to go! Have a lot of work to do," I quickly said.

Alastor chuckled again and held up his hands. "Okay okay. I'll go. It's so cute to see you get all flustered." He turned to Yolanda and Blake. "It's a pleasure to meet you Yolanda. And you too, Blake."

"Oh honey, the pleasure was all mine," Blake said as Alastor walked out of the door towards the elevators.

I sat down at one of the tables and groaned aloud, shielding my face with my hands. Yolanda and Blame stood over me, with Blake having a cocky smile on his face and Yolanda a faint blush on her cheeks.

"God, that is a man right there," Blake sighed dreamily. "Charming, successful, and sexy as fuck. So much better than seeing a picture. I mean I would never cheat on Damian but… whew."

"He was quite the looker," Yolanda admitted. "But it seems he was quite interested in you, mami," she said to me. "He couldn't keep his eyes off you."

I whined through my hands. "He hasn't changed since college," I muffled. "Still as flirtatious as ever."

"I don't see the problem with it," Blake stated. "It's obvious he still wants you."

I lowered my hands and held up my left hand to Blake, showing my wedding ring.

"Oh," Blake shrugged. "Honey, live a little. There's nothing wrong with making another 'friend.'"

Yolanda scoffed: "I'm sure he wants to be a little more than friends."

I ignored my friends comments: "There will be nothing going on between me and Alastor. I'm a married woman and he is my client. It will be a completely professional relationship."

Blake chuckled: "Whatever you say, love."

Yolanda hugged and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Ignore his teasing, Ava. You know what's best for you. Follow your heart."

I leaned back into her arms. "I know, 'Landa. Thank you."

Blake rolled his eyes. "Why am I the bad guy here?"

"Cause you're always teasing her," Yolanda stated.

"Can't help she's easy to tease," Blake joked. "I'm sure Alastor can make her blush just as much as I do…"

"Blake shut up!"

**TBC**

Tag List: @sirenascales @masked--empress @evilangel84 @wwevampireamongkpop @queen-legacy-productions @superrezzy00 @neversatisfiedgirlfics @defenseofourdreams6277 @writing-reigns and anyone else who wants to read it!

[polandspringz]

Killing was never easy, not for me anyway With whomever comes to mind for it?

Okay, so I started this back in May, but didn’t touch it for three months and just sort of banged out the second half of it last night at 3 AM, so it might read a little jarring. This prompt was part of the “First Sentence” writing prompts, so I had to start with the line, although it won’t make much sense until later in the story. I decided to write about my gen:LOCK OC Yolanda and her trying to distract herself a few days after she had to kill Union soldiers in battle, and the perspective shifts and the way she’s thinking is rooted in my own habits of narrating things, so I apologize if it’s confusing.

If you want to read about Yolanda and where she exists in the gen:LOCK universe, click here for my profile about her!

Killing was never easy, not for me anyway.

“Hey, Cameron!” 

The tech-whiz kid visibly stiffened as the high pitched voice bellowed from down the hall. The walls of the Anvil carried it and the sound of clicking heels as the older girl raced at her, one hand cupped over her mouth as she waved her arm wildly, some sort of fabric scrap in her hand. This was the sixth time this week that the pink-haired woman had approached her like this, and it was only Wednesday.

As the footsteps got closer, Cammie eventually turned around, sighing as she braced herself to be slammed by exuberance. Sure enough, she opened her eyes to find a bright white smile and lime green eyes smirking at her through her bubbling energy.

“Yolanda, I told you already-”

“This isn’t about that! I listened to what you said and talked to Dr. Weller about it, so that’s all good-”

“-not to call me Cameron-”

“-but I wanted to get your measurements so I could sew something for you! I finished up my gift for Miranda, so I was hoping you would let me design for you next!”

Cammie winced as she thought about the previous designs Yolanda had dished out. While they were pretty, in their own way, their practicality during a time of war was debatable, and Cammie had a hard time wondering what the Colonel would say if she tried to send them out on the battlefield. She tried her best to look busy with whatever she could yank up on her display and gave her best fake smile.

“Oh… Well, while that’s nice, Yolanda, you shouldn’t waste your fabric on me, or any of us, for that matter! We can’t really change out of our suits so-”

I knew what she meant. I watched the two of us interacting from afar, and could see myself from above flailing to get her to listen to me, to tell her it was no trouble at and that if she would just see my sketches, that I promised I could make her something special.

I ended up slumping away from that, my heels clicking away, and the fog in my mind persisted, and I felt my soul float up and overtop me once more as I made my way disheartendly back to the dorm and my sewing machine.

Valentina heard the door clicking open before Yolanda’s hand even fell on the doorknob. Or perhaps it was her heels down the hall, that even though Valentina insisted on wearing something similar, never sounded as obnoxious as their own. They pushed themselves off the bed and stood up, leaving the other person grumbling as they went.

“Just stay there, Yolanda is coming in.”

Kazu groaned something intelligible in Japanese, to the point that the tech in their eyes couldn’t even translate it. Valentina sighed and rolled their eyes, yanking the blanket overtop of Kazu’s form just as the door opened.

“Oh, Valentina…” Yolanda sounded nervous, which was weird, for starters. There were only a handful of occasions that Valentina could cite that didn’t start with Yolanda bursting into a room with some high and mighty laugh and began to harass all of them. They tried not to look alarmed, and instead popped one hip as they waited for the girl to come in all the way.

“Did you need something?”

“Oh, I was just going to sew something again, but if you’re in here I can take my machine and go elsewhere-” 

The girl had stumbled over to the desk and began picking up her tool belt with shaking hands, all the while Valentina’s eyes followed her across the room and back towards the door. 

The dumb machine is so heavy. I can hardly lift it with my wrists, but if I take too long, Valentina will get annoyed or think I’m weak. I need to hurry and-

A pair of scissors leapt out of the belt as she hurriedly jostled it towards her waist. Valentina swooped in and caught the blades expertly before Yolanda could flail and cut herself or drop it on her foot, which was vulnerable somewhat through the suit she wore. They regarded the blades for a moment, the rusted and scratched up state of the dulling blades, before handed them handle first to the girl.

“Try and be careful,” was all they said before the picked up the sewing machine with ease, “Do you have a cart or were you planning on carrying this by yourself?” 

“Oh, uh, well! If you handle it to me I can carry it, I promise! No need to worry, but if you’re offering then I really don’t- Oomph!” 

Yolanda blinked and the machine was thrust into her hands, Valentina walking back towards the bed, flopping down beside the blanketed form of Kazu. Yolanda tried to ignore the pain in her wrists and she shuffled through the door. 

“Is she gone yet?” Kazu’s voice registered and translated itself on the display in her eyes. 

The door slammed shut behind me. It took me a moment to clear my mind and walk forward, but I can confidently say that I was okay!

She narrated to herself even as her lips trembled, her face growing red as she tried to hold it all in. No, go back to the angry but sadly optimistic stuff. She shook her head and forced a determined smile, and if her hands were free she would’ve pumped a fist to psyche herself up.

I staggered out of the dorm, waddling from the weight of the machine. Thankfully my scissors had been away before Valentina had given me the machine, or something bad might have happened. 

But, it’s okay. So I can’t sew in the dorm? So what? Or should it be, sew what? Chase would hate that pun. But, it’s not just my dorm. There’s got to be plenty of places I can I’ll just go to the lab. Dr. Weller will let me sit in there and sew. He’s done it before. Surely he’ll understand-

“Watch where you’re going with that thing!” She barely had a moment to register that she had banged into someone before she was stumbling backwards, then forwards, and then she was tumbling towards the ground, her hands flying wildly, the machine leaping from her hold to crash against the concrete floor.

“I’m sorry!” She yelped just before the sound of springs and metal exploded in her ears and her machine popped apart right in front of her face. It had bounced a few feet, but the force had sent it colliding straight for death, and she could see the mess that had fallen on the floor. She was not looking so hot either, as-

My sewing shears had flown out of my pocket and slid across the ground to be beside the trashed machine. My bobbins and thread, they wrapped around me, my thimbles were rolling by my eyes, and my spare needles and pins had fired out of their casing and were stabbing my elbow and my cheek. If I wasn’t so lucky, they might’ve poked my eye out.

She forced herself up from the floor to kneel, and without a word or anything said to the spectators, she went about picking up the pieces of her fallen work. She grabbed the shears and sliced through all the string that had tied itself into a bundle, and made quick work of tucking it all back into the pockets of the tool belt. The case for the needles was gone, so she threaded them into the canvas fabric of the thing and then went about scooping up the gears and coils that had rocketed out of the machine like a jack-in-the-box. When she actually got close to the machine, however…

“Yolanda, are you okay?” Chase was leaning over her, his hologram staring at her concerned.

“Oh, what? Of course I am! Just a little stumble.”

“But, your machine-”

Don’t let him see. Don’t let him see, “This old thing? I’ve dropped it so many times, much worse too, it’s no big deal! I can fix it in a few minutes, once I find a spot to set up. I’ll be back to making outfits for Caliban to wear in no time!”

He seemed assuaged by that, as he straightened up as Yolanda pulled the broken thing onto her lap to hold, “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried for a moment. Leon saw you fall, so he paged me. Apparently the others were too busy, but I’m faster anyway,” his eyes gazed around at the remaining screws and other machinery that was still on the ground, “Sorry that I can’t help you pick this stuff up.”

“No, no, it’s okay! Really.” That’s it. Force your best smile. It’ll all be-

“Are you really okay though? Leon said you seemed kind of down.”

You idiot! Hurry up and move past him! Get going before he sees- “Me? Down? Does he know who he’s talking about?”

“I saw you leave your dorm looking distressed. I figured it was a gL team issue so I didn’t want to get involved right away,” Leon said, walking over, “But hearing you say sorry after knocking into someone? Yolanda, I never knew you had those words in you.”

Leon folded his arms and stood beside the Chase, looking down at her. 

“He does have a point. You seem rather… polite, no offense though. Are you positive nothing is up?” 

“Yeah, normally by now, you would be calling us names or demanding we bow down and help you. I picked these up for you, by the way,” Leon said, holding a broken off piece of plastic from the machine’s thread guides in his gloved hand.

She took it and tucked it away before standing with the machine wrapped tightly in her arms. Her face was getting hot, and she knew it was apparent by the two’s expressions, but she forced herself to remain calm.

“Of course I’m fine! Just trying to find a decent place to sew around here! I’m going to the lab. Chase, I know you live there, but if you’re going to bother me please don’t return there while I’m working. I’ll be there all night, at most. And you don’t need to sleep anyway, right?”

That was a low blow, even for me. She pushed through the two of them with her head bowed, and when she reached the elevator and heard Chase calling after her, she bolted inside, shutting the door and letting the platform ascend to the third floor. Now that she was alone…

Once I was alone inside the elevator, I found myself circling back to Valentina and Kazu. It a shared room, yes, but I haven’t sewn in there for weeks, and there was no reason for them to be so rude about it all, what with slamming the door closed and all-

There was still a little bit of time before the elevator would shift and the door would open, so she set the broken machine down and pressed her hands against her face. I’m feeling hot, I’m probably all puffy and red. This won’t do. She sucked in a deep breath and smacked her cheeks twice, trying to calm herself down, but her eyes kept stinging. I couldn’t allow myself to cry. I don’t want anyone to think I’m upset now, do I?

I need to think about something different. This elevator ride is long, the Anvil should really add some music…

As the door opened and she shimmied the machine back into her arms, she let herself become consumed in her internal discussion about which classic J-Pop song would work the best for the rides. Something from the 2000s or 2010s, she said as she felt herself returning to her usual self, PonPonPon maybe. I’m sure Kazu would get a kick out of it. She rounded the big window that stretched on the wall outside the ESU, her heels clicking along the polished tile, she felt a smirk stretch across her face, her eyes crinkling with pride as she shook her head and let her pink hair tickle against the nape of her neck. Her long elegant strides carried her through the doorway and into the main part of the lab, where she heard voices echoing.

“I’m telling you Doctor-”

“And I’m telling you, Colonel, that I am not allowing-”

“Hello, Rufus!” Yolanda interrupted with a cheery voice, waving one hand slightly from where it was buried underneath the weight of the machine, “Do you mind if I sew?”

I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that the two of them were very much in a meeting right now. I could see as clear as day the fact that the Colonel was appearing in person in the ESU instead of mixing in as a hologram or summoning the Doctor upstairs to her office. However, I needed this. Dr. Weller would never say no to me, I knew that-

“Oh, Yolanda! I’m sorry, could you wait a bit? I’m a bit occupied at the moment with the Colonel,” His eyes glanced at the woman twice for emphasis, and Yolanda couldn’t deny that she was pierced by some form of annoyance even though the Doctor masked it behind a kind smile.

No… I found myself thinking, no… he can’t say-

“Merriweather. You heard the Doctor. Leave us.” The Colonel demanded. Yolanda was frozen in her tracks.

“Ah, but I thought that-”

“This is the ESU, a lab meant to advance gen:LOCK technology. You shouldn’t even be bringing your hobbies inside of here, as it will only get in the way. You have a dorm for that. Now, go.”

“Colonel, that’s a little harsh, don’t you think? I’m sure she means no harm?”

Yolanda’s mind was spinning, complete radio silence buzzing in her head as she struggled to find the words, to spin something together. Luckily, her face and vocal chords went on autopilot, and her muscles shifted into her trademark grin as she backed out of the lab flashing a peace sign at them.

“You’re right! So sorry! I shouldn’t have barged in like that, forgive me!”

She could see from Dr. Weller’s face, that she had said something wrong. She crossed the threshold and felt panic rising in her. He was looking at her sympathetically, brow furrowed as he watched her. 

What did I say, oh god, what did I say? Her words had sounded like mush in her own brain, but the Colonel seemed pleased by them, because she turned back and continued addressing the Doctor. Yolanda kept slowly backing away until she was around the corner again and back in front of the elevator. Just before she stepped in, she glanced back through the large window, and froze.

Chase’s eyes were open and watching her from the tank. 

I dropped the machine with a crash and bolted into the elevator. The doors closed before I could see if any heads turned their way at me.

Probably not. I didn’t matter anyway.

She wasn’t even two seconds into her elevator ride to who knows where when Chase appeared behind her. Yolanda let out a scream as she jumped and slammed her back into the buttons, adding to the confusion on which floor they were traversing. Chase merely folded his arms and stared her down.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, but honestly, there’s something wrong and you have to talk to at least one of us about it.”

“What are you on about?! There’s nothing wrong!” She snapped as she turned away, folding her arms. 

“Yeah, as if you apologizing once and curling into a ball wasn’t enough, you apologized twice. Plus, you’ve been super jumpy all day.”

“I have not been jumpy.”

“You just left your sewing machine on the floor of the ESU’s hall. I’m pretty sure it’s in even bigger shambles than it was earlier, when you dropped it the moment you accidentally banged into somebody. Now, look, you can talk to me. What’s up?”

I watched the numbers fall lower and lower on the elevator’s display. We were going to the hangar, it seems. The basement even-

“Hey,” Chase’s hand brushed against her, causing soft sparks to erupt along her shoulder as the hexagonal display forced itself around the solid it was cutting through, “You’ve been doing that a lot. Out of your head now. We’re in our brains too much in those crazy Holons.”

Yolanda leaned against the elevator wall and twisted her body, her legs almost crossing as she hugged herself tightly, “That’s the point of them, Chase.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m not dumb, and I know you know that. I also know, from what Yaz tells me about that mindshare you guys did a few days ago, that you think way too much. We’re outside now. We gotta use classic words to communicate.”

The door to the elevator dinged open, leading to an empty concrete space. Unless she turned around a hit another button, and risked being subjected to another music-less elevator ride with her interrogator, this would have to do.

I sighed and gave him a glare, waving my hand so he backed off. I could have easily walked through him but-

“Hey,” Chase reminded her as he tapped his finger against his head. She sighed again, shoulders slumping as she stepped out into the tunnels.

“Alright, fine. I thought about walking through you but that seemed rude, so I did that. Happy?”

“Not really. I will be when you tell me what’s wrong, though.”

“UGH!” She screamed as she clawed at her face, throwing her head back in frustration, “Nothing’s wrong! Nothing that any of you would even care about is wrong! We’re in the military, my petty problems about my machine breaking and being unable to find a place to sew don’t matter! You heard the Colonel! My hobbies should be in the dorm, but unfortunately, Valentina and Kazu didn’t really want me disturbing them right now! I wanted to make something for Cammie because I was starting to feel really good for once even though I haven’t been sleeping, but she didn’t want it either!”

“So you haven’t been sleeping. Yaz had a feeling about that.”

“Like I said, that’s not a problem, oh my ga-awd!” Yolanda drawled out as she began to storm down one of the tunnels. Chase quickly teleported in front of her.

“Now, hold on-”

“It doesn’t matter what Yasamin said, okay? We tried to mindshare, and it fell apart. It was a complete failure, so whatever she gleaned from that was probably corrupted or whatever.”

“Yeah, well, she said it failed because the amount of information you were giving off was too much to handle. She was getting too much from your head, she couldn’t decipher anything that was happening. She said it was like reading a novel or something. What’s up with that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, tube boy.” Yolanda hissed as she sped past him so more, trying to shove him out of the way but instead her arm sliced through him, almost at the exact spot his real body ended at, to add insult to injury. I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t care, I just wanted to get away from-

Chase continued to reform every few feet so he was next to her face as she stormed off.

“That’s another thing too. Sure, on a good day you’re a bit harsh, but you would never say shit like that to me. There’s got to be something seriously bugging you if you’re pulling out these sorts of jokes.”

“They’re not jokes! Okay?! Just leave me alone!” This wasn’t good, my composure’s shattering, she thought, the words spinning in her head making it easier for her to steel her expression even as tears welled up and her face grew puffy.

“Look, I’ve been locked in that tank- or tube, if that’s what we’re calling it now-  for a long time. I think I get what you’re going through, you’re narrating in your head, right?”

“Just, stop! Stop, stop, stop! Okay?!”

“Although I did it to help me pass the time, I realized with the help of the Doc and Yaz that it was something else. Depression. Something’s affecting you right now too, isn’t it? Well, it’s not going to get better unless you open up a bit.”

“It’s nothing-!”

“It’s the soldier, isn’t it?” Yaz’s voice cut through the echoey chamber of the place, and Yolanda froze. Standing in front of the elevator, the young woman stood patiently, “I may not have been able to get much out of that chaotic mindshare, but I know that I got plenty of fear from it. Your emotions were spiking, but you were keeping them under control with your words, giving feedback on every single motion you did to what was going on in front of your eyes. It was a lot to process.”

She walked forward and after the string of silence stretched out, she reached for Yolanda’s hand, holding it surrounded by her own.

“You weren’t here when we all arrived, but everyone else saw something terrifying their first time. Right after Kazu, Valentina, and Cammie suited up, they watched a Union spy die from being incompatible. Then, Cammie had her head torn off by that Union mech. I-” Yasamin swallowed, “I may not show it, but every Union soldier we swat away, send flying to their death or shoot down from their jet, I always have to stop myself from overthinking because… I know there’s a chance there’s someone I once knew inside there.”

Yolanda stood there, frozen for a few more seconds as Yasamin’s words sunk in. Chase’s presence was comforting beside her as well. Even though she had been rude to them too since she got here, they had been the most understanding of her plight, and the least bothered by her haughtiness. She slowly let herself be lulled by Yaz’s confession-

But then she felt the tears on her face and her strength came back to her and she pulled away harshly, her hand smacking away Yaz’s as she looked at the woman with disgust almost, “How dare you think you understand me. I’m not upset in the slightest. I always wanted to join the military, I knew what I was getting into-”

“You joined it to develop technology, clothing- you didn’t sign up for battle-”

“I knew it would happen eventually, okay?! I’m not an idiot… “ She turned away, rubbing her eyes so they couldn’t see, and yet, she felt herself spilling, “I get it… I’m not the best person to be around, I’m terrible, no way around it. I can’t hold my tongue ever, and in times like this, I just get panicked and I just became meaner and meaner, and worse and worse. I’m spoiled, and I don’t like it that everyone here is so content with how things are. I’m not. I’m not happy in the slightest. I wasn’t happy when I left for England, I’m not happy that I’m back. I don’t know where I want to be frank, I just know that this isn’t the world I was meant to be in.”

She thought she heard Yasamin’s gasp, but Yolanda kept going.

“That soldier… He wasn’t a drone… He wasn’t mindless… They screamed for help when I smashed them into the ground… I… I didn’t mean to be that strong, I didn’t mean to do it that roughly… I just didn’t know how to stop him and it was my first time in battle with that Holon and the necks of people are so small and our hands are so big then and underneath my feet I thought about how many people I had trampled accidentally that evening and I just-”

At long last, her legs gave out and she felt all the pieces of her break, spilling out onto the floor like the machine she had dropped earlier. She was thankful none of them tried to hug her, as they weren’t that close and while Chase physically couldn’t, Yasamin settled on giving her a simple hand on the shoulder as they both waited for her to finish. 

When her breathing had been reduced to mere hiccups, and her words slurred to simple angry comments at herself for being so uncouth, (crying in a tunnel underneath the military base, like, who I am?) Yasamin gave her a gentle smile.

“Killing isn’t easy for any of us. We all find our own ways to deal with it. Cammie and Kazu treat it like a video game, Valentina knows what those people are capable of, and stays back so they don’t have to hear or see the lives they’re taking. Chase and I-”

“We get up close, because we know that it’s the only way we can take back what they took for us.”

“-Yes. You just have to find your own way.”

Yolanda sniffled and thought for a moment, hands balled up on her knees as she felt her feet slipping along the floor.

“Does it have to be something on the battlefield? I don’t think that’ll work.”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t. You’ll need to be calm afterwards so you can download, so-”

“Then,” Yolanda sat up, feeling strength come back into her even as she felt more vulnerable than she had before, “then, can I sew you something?”

“What?”

“I tried to ask Cammie but she said no, and Kazu and Valentina were busy so I didn’t want to bother them but I’ve thought of designs of things for you guys and even though I know we won’t get much use out of it all I wanted to try making stuff and I stayed up late the other night because it helped calm me down and-”

“Alright, alright, alright. I’ll let you, but no guarantees I’ll actually wear it. Now, let’s go back up, shall we?”

“We’re going to have to fix your machine first though,” Chase added.

“And we will need to talk to the others,” Yaz said, helping Yolanda to her feet, “It will be important in improving our connection to you.”

“You may be a member of gen:LOCK 2, but until we find more compatible people, you’re part of our team.”

Yolanda managed not to cry as she let Yaz support her with an arm slung over her shoulders and a hand on her waist, supporting her as her legs had gone weak with the sudden exhaustion brought on by crying.

“So, what’s the to do list? Machine, sewing, dinner, group talk, then I can give you guys my gifts?”

“Actually, it’s sleep, then we have the talk. Fixing the machine and sewing come last.”

“Sleep?”

“We’ll kick Valentina and Kazu out. We don’t know when we’ll have another attack, and you need to be in your best form if we want to try mindsharing again.”

“Okay,” was all Yolanda managed as they reached their floor and walked out. 

Yolanda easily fell into slumber after Yaz and Chase managed to extract the other two from the dorm. Unbeknownst the girl, they called Cammie and everyone to the lab where they spoke to Weller about what they had been told. Although no one was really surprised, and Valentina certainly felt no guilt towards whatever had been happening (“It was her choice to bottle it up”) and Cammie continued to feel annoyed at the girl (“She’s mean spirited. I doubt she actually cried that hard,”) Chase was the one who managed to convince them all to settle down and work on including Yolanda more in their lives on the Anvil.

“We all managed to click from spending all of time together. Maybe she’s still mean spirited because she doesn’t feel connected to any of you guys yet, and doesn’t want to intrude.”

“A wall, I certainly agree,” Dr. Weller added from where he tinkered with the broken mish-mosh of metal and plastic that had been dropped outside the lab, “I’ve spoken with her a few times alone, she would genuinely like to get to know you all.”

When Yolanda woke up, she went into the dorm bathroom and washed her face as she tried to get whatever blotchiness still remained off. Yesterday was embarrassing, she was completely out of character and let herself be too weak, she thought. It was one thing to be giddy about a design, it was another to spill your guts out to two strangers you hardly knew. 

It was late, according to her watch, but Yolanda had never been one for rules. Breaking the curfew, she strolled down the halls to where she assumed her machine had been dumped off at, after that second drop she assumed no one else would recognize it as anything other than trash, but couldn’t find it near there. She traced her way back up to the ESU, finding a few screws on the ground by the elevator, but no signs. Carefully, seeing Caliban was still circulating while Chase rested, the jazz music playing through the open door into the hall, she snuck inside, looking around the lab for another clue.

Her eyes landed on the rebuilt machine, covered in sticky notes of different colors with a message from each member.

I spotted your designs when I went to tinker at the desk earlier, I liked that jumper with the rabbit ears! - Cammie

It may not be sewing, but you could design something for me in the Ether maybe. -Val

The design with the studs wasn’t too bad… -Kazu. This one was in Japanese, but the tech in her contacts easily altered it for her.

Same thing Val said, I may be pretty dressed down in the other world, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a bit more fashion oriented. -Chase

The embroidery you started was beautiful. I look forward to seeing the finished product. -Yaz

Chase and I could always use the company, don’t let what the Colonel said get you down. You’re welcome anytime she isn’t around. It’ll be our secret. But hey, maybe if you make something for her too, she’ll be more receptive. -Dr. Weller.

She smiled down at the last one, noticing the way he had underlined his signature. She knew she was pushing it calling him Rufus, but it was too fun not to be see where she could get the Doc to crack. Sure, she may have broken down earlier today, but like Yaz said, they all had done something like that at one point or another, so it wasn’t weird. Besides, she couldn’t keep going around apologizing and being sappy. That just wasn’t her. 

She felt a mischievous smile come to her as a new design idea began to bloom. Eagerly, she sat down and flipped over one of the post-its, pulling out a pen as she quickly sketched. 

She hadn’t even thought about doing something for Leon, yet. She would have to come up with something extra gaudy to make him forget her pitiful state from earlier today, she grinned.

[deztinywarriors]

The Linked Charms - Episode 29 (Multi Liverpool players)

[thenickelportrust]

What kind of kisses do the ROs prefer (ex. nose kisses, cheek kisses, etc) ?

I’m gonna split this into giving and receiving- for fun!

Finley:  

Giving: Finley is always a fan of teasing kisses- kisses on the edge of the mouth, just next to the lips but not quite there, or a featherlight brush of their lips to the side of the cheek- again, just almost a real kiss but not exactly there yet. They’ll pull back with a smile each time.

Receiving: Finley is a fan of receiving surprise kisses- brushing aside their bangs to give them a kiss on the forehead if the MC is passing by their desk to pick something up, or little pecks on the cheek after a hug- or on the neck while hugging. Little things that aren’t planned or expected but spur of the moment, just because they wanted to kiss them, those are their favorite.

Raf:

Giving: Raf is the kind of person who will pepper his lover’s face with kisses if allowed. Those quick little kisses bouncing from spot to spot in an attempt to cover them fully are his favorite to give. I guess perhaps in that way you could say there’s no specific place he’d prefer to kiss- just all of them, as much as he can.

Receiving: Raf’s favorite kind of kiss is the kind of kiss the MC gives.

Jacob: 

Giving: Jacob love giving kisses on the spots that don’t get enough affection- the bridge of the nose, behind the ear. If the MC is at all ticklish then he’d absolutely be the type to kiss where it is he’s ticklish.

Receiving: Jacob is a big fan of full, deep, classic kisses on the mouth. He loves the kisses that seem like they just stepped off a movie screen- hands in hair, eyes closed, lips pressed together until you have to break apart for air. Expect big, goofy grins afterwards.

Lucy: 

Giving: Lucy loves doing the lift-and-kiss. She’ll lift the MC up, maybe twirl them around at first, and press little kisses to their chin and cheeks and neck where she can reach. 

Receiving: Lucy is a fan of neck-and-shoulder kisses, little peppering smooches that trail from her ears down to her shoulder and back up again. She’s an absolute sap for those and only slightly ticklish

Yolanda: 

Giving: Yolanda often has to settle for on-the-cheek pass by kisses and she’s not someone who enjoys ‘settling’. So, instead, she’s best when she can do full, kisses- and she loves catching others off guard. The kind where Yolanda’ll take the MC’s hand before she leaves and pull her towards herself to press her lips to the MC’s- enough so that both are tempted to just stay late for the day so they don’t have to break apart just yet. Those are the kind of kisses that linger, and the ones she loves to give.

Receiving: I mean honestly… give what you like to get. The exact same goes for the kind of kisses Yolanda loves to receive- unexpected, deep, and lasting.

Eileen: 

Giving: Eileen loves little pecks on the nose and forehead especially. Just quick presses to the MC’s nose before she has to leave for work the day. The kind that promise more kisses later while also leaving a happy flutter until then.

Receiving: Eileen has a lot of freckles on her face and if you kiss those freckles I’m about 90% sure she might implode into a giggling mess. Freckles-kisses are good kisses to her.

Informant: 

Giving: The Informant loves lazy kisses. The kind where they’re cuddling together and he’ll press a kiss to the top of the MC’s head or the side of their face or just wherever’s within immediate reach. Lazy, sloppy kisses that linger for a while before eventually pulling away just to find somewhere new to press his lips to.

Receiving: Kisses by the eyes, he so often wears his sunglasses and taking them off is kind of an act of extreme trust. So the fact that the MC is able to kiss by his eyes makes those little presses to the corner of them or the flutter over the eyelid extremely important.

Ricky:  

Giving: ???

Receiving: ???

Back in his playboy days pretty much all the kisses Ricky would give or receive would be rushed kisses. The kind that didn’t care about whose lips you were kissing more just the pressure and the act of the kiss itself. They were always pressured, too, kisses that could never leave a mark or even any lasting feelings- which always made them seem ever so slightly disingenuous. Empty. Kissing was an act the same way walking and talking and breathing were acts and sure, he’d mastered it as he had all others but it shared the same mundane meaninglessness- the same automatic function of them.

So what kind of kisses does he like? When the kiss means more than just an act? When who your kissing actually matters? To be frank, he doesn’t know.

He’s never tried to know.

V: 

Giving: Get ready to be swept off your feet-… literally. V’s favorite kiss to give is the grandest kiss of them all, to sweep the MC off of their feet and perhaps even dip them before going in for the actual kiss. They love to make even the smallest of kisses an event.

Receiving: (EDITED IN BECAUSE W H O O P S I FORGOT ABOUT RECEIVING FOR V:)

If you’re going to kiss V then you’d better mean it... or don’t. They love the kisses that seem like they’re about to become something more but then the MC pulls away just before either of them can really settle into the kiss. Or if you kiss down the line of their jaw but stop just before the lips- those kinds of kisses are their favorite.

Also a while ago on discord I talked about the types of kisser each RO is so I’ll go ahead and copy that below the read more line since it’s not directly related to this ask but still pertinent.

Finley: Finley has definitely had some practice with their own ex. So they’re actually a damn good kisser- but especially once they get to know their partner. They’re very good at reading others so they kind of adapt to what it is seems to make their partner tic. 

 Raf: Raf in college is awkward and stiff and embarrassed and has no idea what to do in any way shape or form and oh god he’s probably fucked it all up now. Raf of course has the time to practice with the MC so by the time their married he’s much better, probably lost some of his experience over the four years of divorce but… nothing a little more practice couldn’t help get back. 

 Jacob: Jacob I said before but I’ll put here as well. Normally, he’s a pretty good kisser- has plenty of experience. But with the MC he is… extra eager and nervous at first and as a result the first kiss is sloppy and much to fast and he swears he’s normally better at this. Which is something he can prove, later into the relationship. 

 Lucy: Lucy tends towards the eager side on kissing. She can come on too strong and passionate from the get-go especially if your MC is a fan of gentler, slower kisses. She can be a bit rough but only because she’s always very excited to kiss the MC. Take some time and she’ll learn to slow down eventually, but might have to relearn it every couple of times. 

Yolanda: Yolanda is probably the best kisser out of everyone here. Of course. Passionate, romantic, slow or fast, rough or gentle, you name it and she can kiss it. Makes big screen Hollywood movie kisses look like sloppy make-out sessions by two awkward teenagers.

Eileen: Eileen is definitely in need of some practice. Keeps giggling through the kiss, a bit too eager but at the same time a little bit shy and pulls away early, too. Might take a while but she can learn, and is happy to learn, too. 

Informant: The Informant isn’t a bad kisser persay… but he hasn’t had much practice, so he’s not exactly a very good kisser either. A neutral, middle ground that needs a few more practice sessions to get good at kissing.Ricky:  Ricky is, perhaps surprisingly, a damn good kisser. Again, he was a playboy. Now, with the MC (especially an MC that isn’t female) he’s a bit more awkward than usual, a tad bit stiffer. But when he relaxes, it’s pretty easy to see why he developed the underground reputation that he did.

V: Depends on how you like your kisses. If you’re a fan of the rough and wild- with lots of teeth and tongue and kissing until you run out of breath then… V is your person. If not… yeah, uh, might want to work on it with this one. (Will also dip the MC if allowed) (Even if said dip is over a rooftop)

[thebustedandtheblue]

The Busted ch 3

Chapter 1| Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Neither Stakar nor Yondu was sure if she was even tasting what she was shoving into her mouth but they didn’t say anything about it. N’Zar was on her third bowl of wet brown lumps that might’ve been soup at one point, but had given up the culinary ghost and congealed into amorphous slop that once had been meat or maybe potato. She didn’t care what it was. It was food and it was the best damned meal she had in what felt like a lifetime. The three of them were sitting in the mess, devoid of other Ravagers, whom all were not so silently watching from the doorway, Aleta at the door.

“Guess Aleta was right. She’s a skrull.”

“So she’s not a spy then?”

“I guess not. Looks like she picked the wrong ship.” “Heard she banged up the Dallos pretty bad.”

“Are you sure she’s not from the empire?”

“Y’know she’d be kinda cute if she tried.”

N’Zar turned to the group. She waved at the men and they waved back. She gave a big smile and they did so in return. Her eyes rolled back and her head lolled around her neck. Her jaw went slack and her mouth split farther open than should be possible, with an eruption of tentacles spewing from her mouth and ears. The men jumped back, save for Aleta, whom let out a long horsey cackle at the terrified crew. N’Zar returned to her usual skrull self and back to the bowl of brown with a satisfied grin on her face. Neither Stakar nor Yondu were amused.

“Nice crew. So when do I get one of those uniforms y’guys wear?” She asked, shaking a gravy-covered spoon at the two.

“Maybe when you pay everything off. We’ll give you some new clothes in the meantime.” Stakar said, eyeing the holes and stains in her shirt.

“I’m not going to have to like, do some initiation thing am I?”

The two men looked at each other. She wasn’t paying them any mind, instead focusing the bulk of her attention to scraping out as much of the thick broth as she could. She didn’t notice either of their subtle grins.

“As a matter of fact, you do.” Stakar said, leaning in to the table to emphasize the gravity of the statement.

N’Zar stopped mid-mastication. She stared at the stone-faced captain with pleading eyes, but he remained unmoving and unforgiving. It wasn’t until she noticed the crack in Yondu’s facade that she realized he was fucking with her.

She frowned and wiped gravy from her face. “That’s not funny.” “Yes it is” Yondu sneered. “Shit girl, you’d probably think gullible was written on the ceiling if we said it was”

N’Zar fought the urge to look up by returning to cramming lumps of meat or potato in her face.

“So what am I gonna do here?” She asked on her last nerve of the night.

“We are, but you just got here. You’re not going on any missions yet. You’ll be working in there.” Stakar motioned to the galley. “And in the lower decks. Cleaning.”

N’Zar set down her spoon in her bowl. “I’m a maid? Seriously? What about shadowing Yolanda?” She motioned towards Yondu.

“Yondu.” He said.

“You will be shadowing him. He’ll be down here too. For now.”

“I-What!? Why?”

“Because you’re the reason she’s on this ship. You still fucked up, Yondu, so you get two are going to get to know each other a bit better.”

Yondu and N’zar looked at each other with venom in their eyes.

“Yes, sir.” they both said.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a ship to run.” Stakar stook from the table, heading towards the hall. “Wait, where am I sleeping? Don’t i get new clothes? Can i at least get more to eat?!”

“Bunks are on the fourth deck. There’s usually leftover clothes up there. No guarantee they’ll be clean but they’ll probably have less holes. Yondu can show you around for the rest. I’m heading back to my quarters i’m done with this headache for a few hours.”

And with that, Captain Stakar made his leave and back to his quarters. He sat down at his desk. The Skrull empire was very far from Knowhere. And the amount of debt she wracked up sounded like trafficking, and she looked like she’d been out there for a while. But thirty thousand units was ten times the rate. Whatever she did, she needed to escape, and she needed to disappear. Stakar opened a private channel of communication.

“Mainframe.” “Yes captain?” “Can you do a background check for me on the new kid? I want to see if she’s got a bounty on her head. Her name’s N’Zar N’Zenne.” “Gimme a sec....It doesn’t look like she does. Or at least there aren’t any skrull with that name.”

“Did you check the imperial databases?”

“I’ve been trying but it’s going to take a while to get through to the Skrull’s firewalls.”

“You do that. Wake me up if something pops up.” Stakar walked towards his bed, Aleta was there waiting patiently.

“You suspect her.” She stated.

“You don’t?” He asked, stripping down to his skivvies and climbing into the small bed they shared.

“I do, but I doubt she’s dangerous. Just not very bright.” She rolled on to her husband. “She’ll get along fine with everyone if Yondu doesn’t kill her first.”

A pensive ‘hmm’ rumbled in his chest.  

“She made me laugh.” she added. “Scared the stones right off Marty.”

Of course I’m stuck with this little green witch, Yondu thought. He was still in the mess hall with his new ward. She was sitting there now on her fifth bowl. Her eyes flashed at him for a second before focusing on the last scraps of food. Once Stakar had left interest in the new member of the crew had waned, and the other men dispersed to do their jobs, or to sleep.

“I can’t believe you ate all that.” He said.

“Shifting takes a lot of energy,.” she replied, sucking the last of the gravy off her lips. “And yer a pretty big shift, darling.”

“Stop calling me darling. It’s Yondu. Udonta”.

“All right, all right. I didn’t mean anything by it, d...Udonta.” N’Zar stood and walked towards the galley, bringing the bowl with her. Yondu had followed suit. To his relief it wasn’t to go in for a sixth bowl but to rinse it out in the already full sink.

“No dishwasher?” She asked.

“It’s busted. We put too many in there one night and never got around to fixing it.” He stated.

Her nose scrunched at the sight, and the thought that this was her job for the foreseeable future. It can wait until morning.

Yondu walked out of the mess hall with his new green shadow trailing behind him. Her mocking nature was gone as the two made their way through the decks and into the main crew’s sleeping quarters. Near everyone was asleep, and those who weren’t looked at her. Some with curiosity, most with contempt. Each had their own bunk in the hall. She could see in the low light each little nook was decorated how the men who slept there saw fit. Some posters, little decals, many had dimmed holographs of scantily clothed aliens, gyrating or. Her custodian stopped in front of one, in the back and the top most of the column of three, devoid of neighboring bunkmates. Little trinkets littered the small shelf next to the cot.

“Is this one taken?” N’Zar asked, placing her hand on the bed underneath his.

Yondu had taken off his leather duster, and began unbuckling the holster for his arrow. “Take it.” he said, unbuttoning the shirt he wore underneath.

She sat down in the bunk and the two disrobed in silence. She glanced at him briefly while his back was turned. He wasn’t terrible to look at now that she had the chance. He was young but already riddled with scars. Two stood out to her. They were old and deep. One was the long, jagged line that ran from the back of his implant to the base of his spine. The other was a dark and permanent bruise around his neck. He undoubtedly had similar ones across his wrists. The remnants of another life, one of blood and bondage.

“Do you see something you like?” a hoarse and deadpan whisper asked her. She hastily went back to untying her disintegrating shoes as if nothing had happened but the deep emerald rising on her cheeks betrayed her. She didn’t even bother taking off her clothes before sliding under the covers.  Yondu chuffed, satisfied with embarrassing the little green witch.

She laid there, hearing the loud snores of her new shipmates and staring up at the cot above her. She swore she could make out the contour of his back through the thin mattress. Damn him. Damn him for being so easy on the eyes. No. don’t think that. No matter how starved for affection she was, she was the most bottom rung on the ladder. She would not touch him. Her aim was on other things. On the cold unyielding units she so desperately needed. She reached up to the groan in the cot above her, her touch she hoped was feather-light. She closed her eyes in silent prayer.

Sl’gur’t thank you for sending me a fool in a scoundrel’s leathers.

As a matter of fate, down came said scoundrel’s arm. Startled at first. But noticing the familiar twitch of a nightmare in his hand.  N’Zar lifted her own, in experiment, barely touching him, her fingernails grazing his skin. His hand went slack at her touch. She brushed her thumb against his knuckles and fought the urge to cool and hush hin and frighten away the terrors that beguiled his mind. Once he calmed her hand retracted back to her own body. It wasn’t her business to keep company to those who couldn’t sleep, as long as she could eventually find peace of her own.

N’zar rolled to her side, into the bunk and screwed her eyes shut the best she could. This is what she was brought to, this is what she would endure.

At least he was easy on the eyes.

[hournites]

“promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up” for hn🥰

mild spoilers for ep8 based off the synposis

~~~~

With the tears subdued and the roaring headache dulled to an ache, they decide to give Beth Courtney's bed for the night. It's not as large and comforting as her own, but after the night they've had, Beth refused to move anywhere else. Rick sat by her head at the pillows, back against Courtney's fairy lights, dimmed to keep their flashing to a minimum. The pink and purple bulbs catch against the curtains, and if they blinked wrong, their hearts would lodge up in their throats, convinced it's not a light, but a shadow. A purple hand creeping in to haunt them again. Eclipso.

But Eclipso isn't there anymore. And Rick brings the blanket up closer around Beth's shoulders as his heart breaks. He's okay because Beth will be. She's alive and freed from the visions but she won't talk about the game that the devil from the diamond played. Not to Pat or Courtney or Barbara or Yolanda. Not to her mother over the phone or Buddy behind a quiet door.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Yolanda," Rick asked carefully, again. He watched as Beth's closed her eyes, but he knew she was listening. "She knows what it's like."

"No."

Rick's hand slid down the blanket. Blue and covered in stars. Typical Courtney. Beth huddled under the lump, and it took all of his effort not to pull the blanket back and demand for his best friend to come out of the empty shell to talk to him. Even when something bothered her, Beth knew with Rick would be a safe place to talk. How could that have changed so quickly?

"Beth, we're all worried."

"You should be worried," she snapped. "We should all be very worried." Her voice cracked as she continued. "Eclipso is a monster."

Rick's lips thinned into a straight line. He knew exactly what kind of monster Eclipso was. The kind that left a rattle in his bones after only one shove. The kind that murdered Isaac Bowin and terrified psychopaths like Cindy Burman.

"I just want to help you," he said at a loss. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Rick stood up. He yanked the cord of the fairylights until the room was completely dark. If Beth wanted to be left alone, he'd do that. He'd do anything, he realized. And it was a horrible realization, one that had come at the dawn of Rick's worst hour. He almost lost her. The near miss wouldn't leave him alone. She was almost gone, just like the rest of Eclipso's victims. Her light was almost snuffed out, and none of them were ready for that.

"I'll let you sleep."

"No," Beth said again.

Rick paused, unsure what to do. "What?"

"No." Noises rustled from the bed and Rick fumbled in his pocket for his phone, using the flashlight to see Beth half-pulled up against Courtney's headboard. "Don't go home."

"I wasn't going to leave," Rick explained. Though he wasn't sure what he was going to do, exactly. Maybe share the couch with Courtney. "Why?"

She took a slow breath. "Don't go."

He walked back to the bed and she latched onto his arm. "You're safe, here. It's safe. We'll all be in the other room, and we're going to keep you safe, Beth. Court's got her staff and Pat has STRIPE. Jennie's back, and we've got Jakeem with the pink pen. Mike and his handy toaster." His heart leaps when that finally cracks a smile. "We're good, okay? You can sleep. We're not going to let anything happen to you. I promise."

"I'm sorry. It's just..." She lapsed into silence again. Rick wished so much she would just talk.

Rick gently coaxed her head back against the pillow. "Sleep," he whispered again, because her miserable was tangible. Rick could taste and smell and feel it and it wasn't going to end unless she wasn't awake to be it.

"Promise me you'll still be here when I wake up?"

Rick swallowed the lump in his throat with a nod that Beth could no longer see. "I promise."

[mwcowan]

Mark & Georgia’s 2018 Philippines Trip

Here we go again, another trip, another blog. For those of you familiar with our recent Road Trip blog this will be of a different sort because it’s going to be a different sort of trip, a mix of business and pleasure. We’ll be based at Georgia’s mom’s house in Manila, making a series of short trips here and there over the next month. Hopefully it will result in some interesting thoughts and photos.

Day 1:  Graeagle to Sunnyvale to San Jose to SFO

Seems like I was driving all day, although it was a pleasant drive until I got close to the Bay Area into all the traffic. I’ve really gotten used to the “traffic” in Graeagle, where it’s unusual to see more than 3 cars in town. At Georgia’s suggestion I drove straight to EBR for a visit with my old colleagues and to check up on how things are going there. Quite well it seems, with a number of development projects underway, what we engineers like. But everyone seems to be really stressed with all the clinical and regulatory related tasks on their plates now. That’s what I knew would be coming with the US clinical trial, and I’m even more certain I picked the right time to retire.

Took an hour in that lovely traffic to drive from EBR to Georgia’s sister Dinah’s house (all of 12-13 miles) and another hour to drive to SJC and back for Georgia to return her rental car (she had flown there last week). An hour to pack Georgia’s stuff and back on the road to SFO. In our Road Trip blog it was noted that Georgia has trouble packing light and this trip is no exception.

The box weights 69.5 pounds (carefully titrated as the airline limit is 70), the black suitcase is about 55 pounds, the red carry-on is acceptably light. Not shown is a backpack. Yes she has problems packing light. OK, to give her a break, since we’ll be in Manila on Thanksgiving, the box contains a frozen turkey, ham, and all the fixings for a proper Thanksgiving dinner, things that you can’t get in the Philippines. Plus a LOT of other goodies for her mom, our snorkel gear, etc..  She got her standby cleared quickly, got her ‘luggage’ checked with a few stares from the baggage handlers, and was soon off to her flight to Hong Kong.

With my flight to Tokyo in the morning, I overnighted at an inexpensive motel near SFO,  one that turned out to be unexpectedly nice. At least I wasn’t itching in the morning.

In case you don’t know, in the interest of national security we don’t fly together. That’s not really it… Georgia flies Cathay Pacific since she gets family privileges from her sister Vinee, a CP flight attendant. Georgia pays a ridiculously low fare for business class. I fly United since I spent so much time with my butt in their seats for business travel I can buy the cheapest economy fare and use my miles to upgrade.

Day 2: SFO to Hong Kong (Georgia) and Tokyo (Mark)

Both of us had very bumpy flights, on mine the seat belt sign was on most of the time, and the flight attendants were told to buckle up multiple times. Didn’t stop me from eating and drinking my way across the Pacific though; I arrived in Tokyo fully stuffed. Georgia reports the same on arrival to HK.

Flying in the front of the plane is the only way to go; I fear the day when my miles run out. Georgia may have to take a job with an airline so I can get family privileges. Anyway, she’s continuing on to Manila this afternoon while I’m overnighting in Tokyo at another airport hotel and flying on to Manila tomorrow morning. The flight with a 19-hour layover is a lot cheaper than one with a short connection, saving much more than the cost of a hotel. That’s a good enough reason but I admit to being a travel wuss, I like having this break to get cleaned up and rested. No reason to hurry!

Day 3: Tokyo to Manila

Easy travel day to Manila for Mark; couldn’t sleep so got up early and went to the airport (a 2 min walk from my hotel) and had breakfast at the nice ANA lounge. Smooth flight to Manila but with the usual holding pattern on arrival. I’ve never flown into that airport without doing at least a few circles. I think the airport planners are the same people who planned the traffic control in Manila.

Speaking of Manila traffic, shortly after I arrived we needed to drive Georgia’s mom to meet with the family attorney to have some documents notarized. Off we went to Alabang, one of Manila’s districts, with Mark driving and only a vague idea of where we were going… after many calls to the attorney we finally decided we’d never find the meeting spot and just parked and told him where we were. He knew the area well and was able to find us. By the time we headed back home it was dark, which makes driving in Manila even more terrifying. People all over the place, motorcycles, trikes, and jeepneys pulling in and out and stopping wherever and whenever. Feels like you’re inside a video game. Luckily we got home before we ran out of lives; Mark quickly headed to the fridge to grab a much-needed San Mig.

Sorry for not having more pictures, but there havn’t been many photo opportunities up to this point. Things will pick up in a day or two.

Day 4: Manila to Tacloban

A couple errands this morning then back to the house to pack our bags for a 3-night trip (nice light luggage this time!) then to the airport for a quick flight to Tacloban on Leyte island. A couple days of business to conduct here and in Catbalogan on the nearby island of Samar. You probably remember Tacloban from the 2013 super-typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda in the Philippines). Tacloban was the center of devastation from this storm. The city was all but destroyed; nearly 6000 perished in this city alone. Flying in we could see one of the reasons the storm wreaked such havoc – the city and territory surrounding it are very level and low-lying, stretching flat many miles until the mountains are reached. Besides the winds which removed nearly every roof in the city, storm surges of up to 20 feet did the most damage, including completely leveling the airport we flew into. We didn’t know what to expect, but were pleased to see a strongly recovering city and meet a few people whose strength, determination, and pride are readily apparent. There are still a few reminders of the storm, we saw 4 or 5 abandoned, gutted, roofless buildings, but almost all traces are gone and the city has been rebuilt, at least on the roads we passed.

In a striking contrast to Manila, traffic here is very civilized. Our taxi driver actually stopped and let another car enter a roundabout before him! To regress a bit and explain Manila traffic, in the US we drive (most of us at least) by the lines on the road and by rules where for every situation the right of way is defined. Right of way in Manila is determined by which car can squeeze a millimeter in front of the other. Georgia has remarked that it’s a great waste by the government painting lines on the roads as no attention whatsoever is paid to the lines, the number of lanes being defined by the number of cars, trucks, and motorcycles that can possibly squeeze side to side within, and often beyond, the edges of the roadway. It can seem like total chaos, but carnage and catastrophic accidents are minimal as traffic speeds using these principles are generally reduced to a crawl.  Vendors in flipflops can walk in between and around cars without fear of being run over as they can move faster than the cars can.  It surprisingly works as long as you’re in no hurry to get somewhere.

A side note... if you like a glass of wine or two, finding it can be challenging as the Philippines is not at all a wine-drinking nation. Interestingly enough, grape cultivation and winemaking were brought to California by the Spanish Catholic priests and followed the path of the missions. Yet with 300 years of Philippine colonization by the Spanish, grape growing appears to have been unsuccessful here and wine can be difficult to find.

Normally we don’t worry about it and settle for a cold San Miguel. This evening Georgia was craving a glass before dinner so we asked at the hotel desk where we could find a bar or restaurant that could help us get a fix, and we were pointed to a place across the street.  Georgia was excited when the menu had a small wine list, including two Cabernets and a Merlot. She asked for one of the Cabernets; the waitress said she had to go check if they had it. She came back shortly and apologized, saying they were out of that wine. Georgia asked for the other Cabernet. Sorry we’re out of that one too. OK, what about the Merlot? Sorry ma’am, we’re out of the Merlot too. Do you have any wines? No ma’am, we’re out of all wines. Amusing to us at least as this is a recurring story – we’ve even seen nice restaurants in large hotels in Manila, with impressive wine lists, unable to produce anything but a Barefoot Bynum red. Maybe Georgia goes to work for an airline, and Mark starts a wine import business. We finally got a lead for a nice Italian restaurant, which had a good selection of Italian wines. An excellent dinner and Georgia finally got her wine! Another thing you wouldn’t expect here is great Italian food – we both feel that we’ve found some of the best outside of Italy, in restaurants started by Italian ex-pats who have been captured by Filipina wives (or vice-versa)! I can understand that. 😊

Day 5:  Tacloban to Catbalogan

This morning’s business was a meeting with the local head of the Philippines Land Bank. This is a government-chartered organization obtaining land and re-selling to farmers. The income from the farmer’s loans funds the acquisition of property. The subject transactions here are about 165 hectares (400+ acres) of family-owned property in Catbalogan, much of which has been settled on by squatters/farmers. This is the type of land the Land Bank is trying to get, to officially distribute to the squatters and make them legal taxpayers. The family has been trying for many years to deed the property over and receive payment. Many frustrating years, always being told that this document or the other is needed; when that’s produced there’s always another. And then the next time they go back, the official they were working with isn’t there any more and no one has any recollection of previous actions.

The meeting went well, it seems that the government is making an effort to centralize and simplify these things, for example going forward this can be handled through the office in Manila rather than having to travel to Tacloban. According to the official very little is left to do before this can be completed. Georgia warns that we shouldn’t count on this assurance yet.

Now we’re tourists for the afternoon – our driver picks us up from the Land Bank and we head towards Catbalogan. We’d hired a driver and car for the day to take us around on our errands and then deliver us to Catbalogan, about 110 km from Tacloban. On the way he drove us through one of the areas hardest hit by the typhoon, a low-lying seaside area of shanty homes. You may remember seeing post-typhoon pictures of a large freighter sitting on land quite a way from the water – rather than removing the whole thing they left it in place, some 300 meters from the water, built some structure around it and turned it into a memorial for the Typhoon victims. Strange to see a freighter in the neighborhood but a fitting tribute.

The disturbing part of it though is the neighborhood. The whole area was completely swept bare, but it’s been rebuilt as it was, with poorly constructed shacks of wood and tin. That’s how the people lived before, and what they know, but it’s a shame that the government didn’t help relocate them or at least build more substantial homes.

We drive over the San Juanico bridge which links Leyte and Samar islands, the longest bridge in the Philippines, built during the Marcos regime. Current president Duterte plans to build a longer one (mine’s longer than yours!) linking Luzon to Visayas but it hasn’t been built yet. Following the bridge is a winding 2-hour drive up the mountains and back down into Catbalogan.

Catbalogan is a city “in the provinces”. I’d heard that term before but wasn’t sure what Filipinos were referring to – the meaning is similar but more polite sounding than our euphemism “out in the boonies”. It’s a busy city, but very remote and without many of the amenities you find in the larger cities. We’re booked at the most expensive hotel in town: a “deluxe triple room” with private bath is $34/night. The room is cozy with a double and a single bed and not much space to move around, but the hotel is spotlessly clean, due we think to the army of OJT (on-job-training) helpers from a local high school. At least 20 of these always-smiling faces are constantly cleaning and re-cleaning, each one stopping to give us a warm greeting whenever we appear, coming or going.

To me, Catbalogan is the “city of trikes”. Manila has a lot of trikes, but this city is totally clogged with them, and they’re all in (slow) motion all the time. Both motor- and human-powered, passenger trikes and delivery, they’re everywhere. Colorful, each has been customized by its owner, with the owner’s name and often a favorite bible verse or a personal testament to the glory of God emblazoned on front or back. Some busses and delivery trucks are also on the streets, but few private cars. Why would you need one? A noisy and bumpy ride on a motor trike costs 8 pesos (about 15 cents) to take you anywhere in the city. The pedal trikes are the economy ride, only 7 pesos. We go first class!

You can play a quick video of a trike ride in Catbalogan here:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/3SMSh43GFNhmnvf79

Day 6:  Catbalogan

Business day #2 with visits to the Registry of Deeds (task is to get the deed to the property annotated with the names of the new settlers), then to the Department of Agrarian Reform (task unknown). Conference with Georgia’s sister in the US and back to the DAR to ask for a map of the new property division. Both the ROD and DAR have promised to have the documents ready tomorrow morning so back we’ll go.

While here in Catbalogan we’ve been “taken care of” by a family that is linked to Georgia’s by a long friendship. Third-generation daughter Bayan has been helpful getting us to the various appointments; today we met Lola (grandmother) Noling, the family matriarch, at her electronics and appliance store she’s been running for 65 years. She’s 87 and going strong, no hurry to retire. We were chatting in the store and asked if they knew a place that had good Tomalos – a Filipino take on the tamale with rice “masa” around a pork filling, coated with peanut butter, then wrapped in banana leaf and steamed. With typical Filipino hospitality, it seemed only minutes before table and chairs were pulled out and Tamalos and Lumpia appeared for us to try. Different, delicious, and RICH! Georgia and I couldn’t quite finish a whole one. And also in true Filipino fashion just as we were putting our forks down we were asked what we’d like for lunch. Oh jeez, didn’t we just finish lunch? Lola Noling definitely wanted to take us out so we agreed to dinner, we’ll meet her at the store around closing time.

Dinner was at a nice restaurant right on the harbor, with Lola Noling, daughter Collette (Bayan’s mom), two of her sons Bong and Jun, Bayan, and a few more family members. A feast of delicious food, more than enough beer, hilarious conversation with her sons trying to speak English and me trying to understand Taglish – it was one of those amazing times that leaves you with a smile, a warm heart, and a new family.

Day 7:  Catbalogan to Tacloban to Manila

Georgia thinks I’m writing too much. Maybe I’m trying to find things to write about in the absence of any real interesting travel. I’ll keep it short today.

Two more appointments this morning. First back at the DAR to pick up maps of the property. This visit was successful. Then an appointment at the Registry of Deeds to meet with the registrar whom Georgia had an appointment with yesterday but she wasn’t in the office. She was most helpful (not) explaining the number of documents that still needed to be completed and 2 new cities we would have to visit to get this done. One step forward, 2 back.

We took a shared ride van back to Tacloban, through rain most of the way. The highlight of the day was a 30 minute trike ride from the van terminal to the airport, in the rain. Remember, these things don’t have doors – Mark held an umbrella out as a door/windshield and managed to stay pretty dry. His luggage tied to the back of the trike didn’t fare quite as well.

Day 8:  Manila to Nasugbu

Finally! Today we made the 2 ½ hour drive from Manila to Nasugbu, the location of Kawayan Cove and our house-to-be. This is the third time we’ve made this drive ourselves (no driver) and it’s starting to seem familiar, at least when we get out of Manila and onto the Cavite Expressway heading south. Today I got very much the same feeling as when I drive from the Bay Area to Graeagle, with lots of traffic and the associated stress until we reach Auburn, about halfway there. After that it’s an enjoyable drive through the mountains and pine forests the rest of the way. This was very similar – through Manila, Cavite, all the way to Naic it’s a lot of traffic and those ever-annoying trikes. Past Naic you enter the mountains, tropical jungle rather than pine trees, and all the traffic, trikes, and stress disappear. Finally we get our first view of the Batangas coast, and get that peaceful feeling that we’re getting close to home.

We’re staying for three nights at Punta Fuego, a members-only golf and residential club just up the coast from Kawayan Cove. Luckily one of Georgia’s brother-in-law’s parents are members here and can make reservations for us at one of the club’s guest “casitas”.

Lovely place with a lot of different beaches and nice amenities – we looked at properties here but as this is one of the older developments along this coast all of the better lots are already taken, and we had our hearts set on an ocean view. Not to mention the prices, and the monthly dues, and all that…

Tomorrow we get to see our house for the first time!

[lovelybones81]

Unthinkable

Summary: Seven years, three movies, two people, one story. But before they can get their happily ever after, Sebastian Stan and Camille Solis must learn to trust in each other and in themselves, before allowing the unthinkable to happen.

Warnings: Fluff, future smut, Language, Angst, mental health, WOC lead character

Rating: NC-17

NOTE: Hi yall! I’m reposting the last chapter because for whatever reason, it’s not showing up on my masterlist! I’m working on the next chapter as we speak! **update: I’ve decided to combine the last 2 chapters as one, since they are are so short! 

Chapter 15   The Hard Stuff

 “Dude! Where the hell have you been?” Chace Crawford exclaimed, gently slapping Sebastian on the chest.

 Sebastian distractedly took a long drag from his cigarette. “Huh? What?” Blowing the smoke from one side of his mouth, his eyes wondering around the large outside terrace. “Have you seen Cass?” He asked, ignoring Chace question completely. “Or Camille?” 

 Chace gave his friend a curious look, but before having the chance to respond, a female voice interrupted. “Chace!” she whined. “I thought we were going to dance?” Sebastian frowned in annoyance at the voice.

 “Get us another round of drinks.” Chace ordered sweetly. “I’ll be right in.” The woman didn’t argue, just gave him a beaming smile, turning on her heels and making her way back inside. Once the admirer was out of sight, Chace turned back to Sebastian. “What happened to you?”

 At the same time Sebastian asked again. “Have you seen Cam?”

 Yes, Camille. That’s who he needed to talk to. He wasn’t sure what would come out of his mouth if he found Cassidy first. He was fuming. 

 “I saw Cass inside with-. “  Chace stopped as realization hit his face. “Oh.” His eyes widening. 

 “Yeah.” Sebastian muttered after taking another long puff. 

 “C’mon man, you know she didn’t mean any harm-“ 

 Sebastian glared. “She needs to learn how to stay out of people’s damn business.” Taking an angry puff off his cigarette. Camille, himself, Alyssa and Chace had an early dinner. Then met up with a few other mutual friends at a high-end bar/club Chace has suggested. He had been having a pleasant night until about twenty minutes ago. The night has been going pretty smooth, with drinks, dancing, laughing and flirting all around. He even gotten a nice buzz after a few beers, but it slowly began to fade when someone bumped into him at the bar. 

 His first thought was: Camille coming to join him after she had disappeared to the ladies room. But he had been mistaken. Sebastian hadn’t talked or seen his ex-girlfriend since the breakup. At first, it had been because of their busy work schedules, but eventually it was by Sebastian’s choice. As more time passed, a few things had begun to come to light about her unfaithfulness during their time together.

 “She must have put her up to this-. “  Chace said, trying to defend Cassidy. 

 “Yea well- she should have known better.” Sebastian growled, putting the beer bottle up to his mouth. Wanting desperately to get the alcohol buzz back. He knew drinking was not the answer, but it was the only thing he could control. Beer and a cigarette was all he needed at the moment-and talking to Camille. 

 “Camille did come out here with me...” Chace mumbled, looking around his surroundings with concern. “Wait-she was with Cassidy before you went to the bar. I thought she-“ 

 Chugging the last bit of his beer, he tossed the empty bottle in the trash can closest to him and snorted. “I think I would have noticed if she has been standing next to Leighton.” He might have reacted a bit nicer if Camille had been around. Instead all the anger, confusion and hurt had seeped out and he had been nothing but snippy with Leighton and Cassidy. And from the expression on Cassidy’s face, she had thought she was doing a service putting them together in the same room. But before Sebastian had the chance to say anything, she quickly disappeared with a lame excuse. Leaving him alone with his ex. 

 By then, people had started to gawk and Sebastian knew he would have to be the adult and walk away. He wasn’t as well-known as other actors but in the New York scene people knew who he was. And they especially knew about the relationship with Leighton. So he said his hello through gritted teeth, even giving her a quick hug before walking away. It had not been enough. She followed and cornered him, wanting an explanation on why he had been avoiding her phone calls. Before he even realized what was happening they had made their way into one of the VIP bathrooms, bickering and fighting. 

 It wasn’t his style. But something inside of him hated the fact that she had shown up at the same bar he was at. Because he knew it had not been a coincidence. She planned this.

 “Oh wait.” Chace started. “She got a phone call!” nodding vigorously at his revelation.  

 “Who?”

 “Camille!” He peeked over his shoulder. “So she’s out here somewhere.”

 Sebastian laughed despite his mood. “Thanks man.” Placing a hand on top of Chace’s shoulder. “Did you see which way she went?”

 “Toward the other side of the terrace…I think.”

 Glancing down at the watch Camille had given him for his birthday, he wondered who she was on the phone with. It was past midnight in New York, and even though it was 2 hours earlier in Los Angeles, he was pretty sure Tia Yolanda was already in bed. Which meant she was most likely on the phone with her sister.  

 He took a puff from his cigarette once more before speaking.  “I’ll find her.” 

 Chace nodded. “Cool.” Glancing eagerly over Sebastian’s shoulder into the inside of the bar. 

 Sebastian smirked. “Didn’t you send her to fetch drinks?” He teased.  

 Chace glared back at Sebastian. “Ha-ha.” He said sarcastically. “I’ll catch you later.” He must have spotted the female admirer inside because Sebastian didn’t even get a chance to say a word before Chace quickly disappeared back into the bar.

 Shaking his head, Sebastian turned on his heels in the opposite direction, in search of Camille. The outside terrace was bigger than he expected, for the next 15 minutes he walked virtually all the way around with no sight of her. He was about to give up and head back inside, but came to a halt- from the corner of his eye, he spotted her leaning into the rails of the terrace, half of her body turned to him, with one elbow slanted over the top of the rail, her head tilted to the other side. Sebastian’s eyes looked her up and down. Once again, flabbergasted of how strikingly beautiful she was- even if it was from the back side. Tonight she had chosen to wear a dark pencil skirt with a low back cream cami, outlining every single curve and strappy heels to match, her curls up, divulging her neck.

 Sebastian licked his lips sensually, putting the last bit of his cigarette out in the corner ashtray, forgetting for a split minute why he’d been looking for her in the first place. His thoughts couldn’t help but drift to whether or not she was wearing anything else underneath the skirt.

 But as quickly as the thought came to him, the faster he chastised himself for thinking it. Besides, checking her ass out was not the reason he had been looking for her.

 What he needed was his friend who would listen to him. For the last few weeks he had been trying not to burden her with his problems, but now realized he did need someone to talk to. Camille’s words from the night before resonating; about him being her best friend. He felt the same way. Camille was now part of his core of friends, one of his best friends. He wasn’t sure of where their relationship was going to lead or end up -if earlier conversation was any indication (it felt like a seesaw at times trying to guess who would pull who down first) but they were in each other lives now and Sebastian wouldn’t have it any other way.

 She was intently into her conversation she hadn’t notice him nearing closer. He stood a few feet away, his ears picking up on the phone call. 

 “Did you drive?” Camille asked in a troubled tone. There was a pause on the other end as she listened to whomever was speaking. She spoke again. “Okay- I mean is there any way you could have someone drive you home? Or pick you up? You shouldn’t be driving-.” She pleaded softly. The person on the other line must have been arguing because he heard Camille say: “Promise me you’ll get someone to take you home.” She urged. “Do you want me to call-. “ Getting interrupted again. 

 Sebastian watched her body language, one finger nervously playing with a few curls that had fallen from the top of her head. Sighing she spoke again. “I know you’re sorry-but we can-.“ But not able to finish her sentence, instead she let out an exasperated sound. “Why?” Another pause, as the voice on the other side of the line spoke. “Because you’ve had a lot to drink and you aren’t making any sense right now.” Camille’s voice sounding defeated as she straighten up, back still to Sebastian. 

 He wasn’t all the way sober, but the pieces slowly started to fit together on who she was on the phone with. And it made him clinch his jaw in annoyance. Wasn’t she avoiding his calls? Isn’t that what she had asked him to do earlier in the park? Hit the ignore button on her phone? Why hadn’t she done that again?

 “I know you wish it wouldn’t have happen.” Camille lamented. Sebastian knew he should not be eavesdropping, but couldn’t seem to move from his spot. “But it did. And I really don’t want to talk about this-.”  David must have interrupted because she was quiet for a few more seconds. “Right now you just need to find a way to get home.” 

 Sebastian felt his stomach tighten in anger, listening to her plead with him. And why the hell was David calling anyway? She was thousands of miles away, she couldn’t do anything from New York. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? 

 “David-this isn’t the time.” Anxiously tugging on the curl wrapped around d her finger. “I-I don’t know when-but it’s not right now.” She stammered. “No I can’t come home.” Another long pause. “It’s not that-.“ Stomping her foot lightly on the ground beneath her. “Don’t!” Camille exclaimed in her best stern voice. 

 Sebastian had the sudden urge to take the phone from her and throw it over the terrace. Yet a part of him was annoyed with her as well. Why continue to torture herself? 

 “If you show up, you know Nat will not hesitate to call the police.” Camille warned. “And I can’t meet you. I’m not back in LA yet.” Letting out a dejected sigh, as if she knew the conversation was not going to lead anywhere new.

 She spoke again. “What? I’m not understanding.” David must’ve repeated himself because the next words out of Camille’s mouth were: “I’m not sure. Maybe in the next few days?” Slowly turning around so she rested against the terrace rail and at the same time tossed her head back. “No, not in Manchester.” Sebastian heard her murmur. He must’ve asked where she was, because she hesitated to answer. “Just promise me you’ll fine away to get home.” Trying to change the subject. “I can’t stay on the phone with you all night.” 

 Even though she no longer had her back to him, she still hadn’t notice him standing there. She was quiet for a few minutes, the phone still to her ear, listening. 

 “This is not how we should be having this conversation.” She started again. “Why have I been avoiding you? Because this hasn’t been easy for me and I needed to try and deal with it.” Another long pause. “Hold on I can’t hear you.” 

 Sebastian watched her take the phone away from her ear to tap the screen. 

 “I want us to work this out.” David’s voice came over the speaker phone. “I miss you.” His words slurring. 

 “Just get home.” Camille repeated. “Okay?” 

 “No!” David’s voice adamant. “Not until you say we will-will work this out. Not until you say you’ll talk to me when you get back here.” He pushed, and she shut her eyes, not saying a word. “Camille? Ille…” he pleaded.

 It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see the hurt in her as she listened to David plead with her. If he could only see what his actions were doing to her.

 “These last few weeks haven’t been easy.” She confessed. 

 “I know sweetheart. And it’s my fault.” David replied, his words still slurring. “I love you Camille. I-I love you.” 

 She rubbed a hand nervously over her face. “I know David.” 

 “Then let me p-prove it. Let’s talk okay? Please. I know you still love me. We’ve been together too long to just end things this way.” He was begging now, that was obvious. 

 Good. He didn’t deserve her. 

 Camille folded one arm across her chest bringing the other arm up with the phone up to her face, listening. Sebastian watched her quickly wipe a tear away. “I’m gonna get off the phone.” She managed to say. 

 “Wait-sweetheart-“ 

 She shook her head even if though he couldn’t see it. “No, no. I gotta go.” It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself. “You’ve obviously have had a lot to drink and I’m not exactly the most sober person right now... and answering was a mistake.” Taking in a shaky breath. 

 David wasn’t giving up so easily. Sebastian heard him quickly speak again. “Okay, okay-at least think about it? Please? Say you’ll think about seeing me when-when you get home?” 

 Camille wiped another tear from her face before answering. “If I do-will you head home right now? Have someone pick you up?” She tried to bargain. 

 “Yeah. Yes.” 

 “Okay-I’ll think about it.” 

 “Yeah?”

 “Yes.” Camille stated. 

 “Great!” David said too enthusiastically for Sebastian’s taste. “You know I love you right? I love you.” He repeated for what seemed the 100th time in the past 10 minutes.

 Sebastian watched Camille turn to lean into the terrace railing again. “I know.” Sebastian heard her say. “I...love you too.” 

 Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair, feeling like someone has just stung him in the chest, listening to Camille say those three little words to someone else. He knew he shouldn’t be listening. It wasn’t his business. Camille was a grown woman after all. Barely hearing Camille say goodbye to David, he turned on his heels, hoping she wouldn’t notice. 

 “Seb?” He heard her call out. 

 He stopped mid-step, jaw twitching, eyes shut. Well, so much for that idea. Slowly he turned back in her direction. She stood in the same spot, only this time facing him, her phone gripped tightly in her hand, a forced smile on her beautiful face. 

 “No wine?” She tried to tease making her way toward him. 

 “Huh?” 

 “I thought you went to the bar to get us drinks?” 

 “You disappeared on me, so it just seemed useless.” He said in an edgy tone, not sure where it was coming from. Camille must have noticed too because her eyes widen in surprise. 

 “What’s wrong?” She quickly asked, taking a closer step. 

 Sebastian shook his head, not meeting her gaze. “Nothing.” He lied. 

 Was she going to tell me him about David? Or just pretend like the conversation had just not happen? What the hell was wrong him?! Who was he to demand any explanation from her? But he couldn’t seem to control his emotions at the moment. He was annoyed and angry on how she handled the whole situation with David.

 “Liar.” Camille stated with a suspicious glare.

 Her response only infuriated him. So he snapped back. “Are you okay?” mirroring the same look she had given him.

 Tilting her head to one side, she broke the gaze for a split second, pressing her lips together before locking eyes again.  “I’m fine. What makes you think I’m not?” 

 So she was going to pretend as if the phone call hadn’t happen. “Just making an observation.” 

 Wrinkling her forehead. “Did I do something to upset you?” She asked cautiously 

 Was he upset? Fuck yes he was. His cheating ex-girlfriend had just cornered him, and he had just heard the girl he had feelings for confess her love to her cheating ex fiancé, so yes he was a little upset. And confused. And he needed another cigarette and beer to deal with this. Could he possibly be overacting? Yes. But his drunk ass was not listening to reason at the moment.  

 Shrugging nonchalantly he responded. “No. Why would I be?” 

 If he wasn’t irritated himself he would have been scared of the dirty look she was giving him. She shrugged and snipped back. “Just making an observation of my own.”  

 Sebastian wasn’t sure how long they stood there -just staring, but it was obvious they were both trying to figure out what the other one was thinking. He spoke up first. “We should probably get back inside with everyone else.” Pointing in the direction of the club. 

 Camille’s face soften, reaching out to touch his elbow. “Wait- Sebastian what’s going on?”

 He knew he could talk to Camille, that’s why he had been looking for her in the first place. But after hearing (fine, eavesdropping) on the conversation, he was hesitant to do so. It didn’t make sense, it was just how he was feeling at the moment. “Nothing.” He repeated, forcing a smile. “I just need another beer.” Patting his back pocket. “And maybe a cigarette…” he mumbled to himself. Where the hell did he leave his pack? Maybe his behavior was a bit petty, he just couldn’t help himself.  He patted his pants again. “Where the hell did I put them?” He mumbled to himself. He looked up in surprise when Camille handed him the pack. 

 “You asked me to hold on to them while you went to the bar.” She reminded with a small smile. 

 “Thanks.” He muttered. Shit, he had. That conversation felt like so long ago now. They had been flirting for most of the night. Getting closer and closer as they sat in the VIP area with the rest of his friends when he’d realized Camille’s glass was empty. So he offered to get them refills. 

 “Sure.” Camille answered, gripping tightly on to her phone. 

 Glancing down at her hands, Sebastian found himself asking. “Were you on the phone with someone?” He didn’t know why he had asked but a part of him wanted to know what her answer would be. 

 Camille looked anywhere but his face, licking her lips nervously with a shake of her head. “No.” She answered simply. “Just needed some air.” 

 He gave a small nod back, taking another cigarette out of the pack. Okay, so she wasn’t going to tell him about the phone call. Why did it bother him so much? Because for the last months they shared everything. Not sure of what else to say, he put the cigarette to his lips.  

 Camille took another step closer, facing him. Without warning she took it out of his mouth. “What happened?” 

 He glared, trying to grab it back from her. “What are you talking about?” 

 She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “Well, 20 minutes ago you were all happy and drunk and now you look like someone hurt your puppy.” She tried to joke.  

 He was getting tired of this conversation. What was the big deal? She didn’t need to know his mood change had to do with her and his ex. “You’re right- I’m upset.” He started. “I’m upset because I’m out of beer.” Trying his best to not sound cross with her, he forced a smile, but it quickly faded when he spotted Cassidy walking toward them. Camille opened her mouth to respond, but shut it when she saw the look on his face. She slowly turned her head, following his gaze. Cassidy stood a few feet away, nervously bouncing on the balls of her heels. He clinched his fists at the sight of her. He needed to control his anger. Or at least try.  

 Cassidy tugged a strand of blond hair behind her ear, slowly walking over to them.  “Sebastian, I’m so sorry.” She stated quickly. “I had no idea she was going to do that…“ Stammering the last part. 

 Sebastian couldn’t help but glare. “You know Cass -you should really learn how to stay out of peoples business.” He barked. 

 “Sebastian-. “  Camille warned. 

 But he wasn’t listening. He was angry. Why did everyone else think they knew more about his relationships than he did? Cassidy had been pushing for Leighton and him to reconcile for weeks now. “You knew exactly what would happen.” He accused. Camille watched the both of them, not sure of what was going on. Sebastian continued. “You just have to be the middle of everything...” 

 Cassidy eyes widen at the words. “I said I was-“ 

 Sebastian brought a hand up. “If I were you- I would keep quiet because nothing you say is going to change any of this.” He snapped. If he wasn’t so upset he would have felt a bit guilty at the way she looked right now. 

 “Sebastian-. “  He heard Camille repeat softly. “Maybe this can be talked over tomorrow?” She suggested. “When everyone is a bit more sober?” 

 Breaking the gaze from Cassidy, he looked back at Camille, his jaw twitching. “This really doesn’t concern you.” He blurted out.

 Camille raised both eyebrows, in confusion and hurt. But it quickly fade, the look in her eyes held anger as she narrowed them at him. Chewing on her lower lip she cleared her throat, taking a step back from him. “You’re right.” She said shortly. “I’m sorry.” Looking between them. “I’ll be inside…getting another drink.”

 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Sebastian let out a large frustrated sigh. He hadn’t meant to make her feel alienated, he just didn’t know how to handle all these damn feelings at the moment. And he wasn’t thinking clearly. He watched her take two steps (leaving Cassidy standing there) before he quickly made his way to her, grabbing onto her elbow. “Camille, wait- I’m-I’m sorry-“  

 Camille glanced at him over her shoulder, eyes not showing any emotion. “It’s fine.” Trying to break free from his grip. “Let go.” She ordered through gritted teeth. Sebastian knew better than to argue. He dropped his hand and she gave him a grim smile. “Thank you.” And without another word, walked away from him.

----------------------

 “Thanks.” Camille muttered walking straight past Sebastian when he opened the front door of the apartment. Without another word, she began taking the hair pins out, a headache coming on. Letting her curls fall to her shoulders, she gently massaged her scalp, moaning softly, eyes shut. She opened them back up to find Sebastian watching. Quickly she moved the hand away, as they locked eyes. Maybe if she wasn’t so irritated with him, this could have led to another one of their little flirting sessions, but she was feeling humiliated from earlier, that not even his good looks could sweet talk him out of this. “I’m going to bed.” She announced.

 “Are you seriously going to ignore me?” Sebastian probed, the look from a few seconds ago disappearing, shutting the door behind him. “In my damn house?” Camille turned on her heels, giving him a blank stare. He pursed his lips together and blew air out of them. “I guess you are.” He concluded, flipping the light switch on. “Look-. “  He started.  “I’m sorry about earlier-.” His eyes filling with regret.

 She cleared her throat with a shake of her head. “And I said it was fine.” Trying to avoid eye contact so he couldn’t read her emotions.

 Sebastian snorted, shaking off his jacket and tossing it on the end of couch, mumbling in Romanian. Camille only scowled, wishing she understood what he just said. “Well at least you’re talking to me now.” He observed. She opened her mouth to protest, but swiftly pressed her lips together. Raising one eyebrow, Sebastian snorted again. “Oh yeah, everything is fine. You’ve barely said two words to me since we left the bar.” he accused, walking toward the kitchen.

 He was right. She hadn’t spoken a single word to him on the taxi cab ride. Mostly because she was too heated to say anything. Her anger and hurt was not only because of Sebastian, but also due to the conversation with David.

 Sebastian had every right to tell her to butt out of his life, it was just the menacing tone of how he had asked that bothered her. It was fairly obvious he was upset. Camille wasn’t sure if his anger was directed toward her. And if it was, what the hell had she done to deserve it? They had been having a fun evening- or at least she thought so- before he had gotten up to the bar. And maybe she was overacting. Her mind was foggy with David’s word; his confession of wanting to fix their relationship still lingering in her head.

 Plus she was not completely sober. So having serious relationship discussions while under the influence of red wine was not ideal. Yet, her heart couldn’t help but skip a beat at the miniscule possibility of working things out with David. But then again maybe that was the wine talking. She shook her head slightly, as if doing so would somehow would make all of her jumble thoughts evaporate.

 “Camille?” His voice sounded so far away. Blinking a few times, her eyes focused back on Sebastian’s face. Her stomach clinching at the sight of him. Unsure of how he fit into the puzzle of her feelings. Because despite the anger she felt at the moment, Sebastian was important to her. “Camille?” he repeated, only softer that time.

 Running one hand through her curls, she mumbled. “I’m just gonna go to bed-. “  Maybe sleeping would help clear the mind.

 “Wait-. “  His voice gruff, feeling the familiar tingle down her spine when he touched her hand. “Can we just talk? Please?” 

Camille’s eyes fell to where their hands touched and she pulled it away. “What are you gonna say? That you’re sorry-“

 “Yes.” Sebastian interrupted, those blue orbs growing wide almost in she would forgive his moment of assholeness. 

 “Okay.” 

 Sebastian took a step closer, squinting in suspicion. Obviously not happy with her answer. “Now who’s being the -“

 “Asshole?” Camille supplied. 

 “Okay,” he started with a nod. “I deserve that.” She blinked slowly in response. Camille wasn’t going to make this easy. He frowned, running his fingers nervously through his hair when he recognized it too. “C’mon Cam. I don’t like this.” He paused. “I wasn’t upset with you....” 

 Raising a perfect eyebrow, not saying a word, she licked her lower lip. “Is this what you meant earlier?” She snipped despite trying to keep her tone even.

 Sebastian looked at her in confusion. “What?”

 “About seeing this side of you?” she prompted. The confused look in his eyes evaporated at the words. Instead those blue soft orbs Camille had come to know, slowly turned icy. Pretending the look didn’t bother, she tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. Fuck maybe she shouldn’t have said that. Because she had a feeling she’d just pushed the wrong button. Biting on her upper lip she shook her head. “Never mind.”

 “No. If you have something to say then say it.” The beautiful sculpted jaw clenching and unclenching. His face inches from hers now. The smell of mixed alcohol and cigarettes hitting her nostrils rapidly. “I just think it’s funny though…you not willing to let this drop when I heard you easily forgive someone else-“

 Camille’s eyes narrowed, his words making her stomach drop. “Wait-. “  She stammered, moving a hand up and taking a step back from him. “W-wait-what?” Her eyes searching his face for answers to something she already knew. But she wanted to hear him say it. Yet her anger wasn’t going to let her. “You were eavesdropping?” she growled. “Are you kidding me Sebastian? Who do you think you are?!” her voice escalating with every word. She sucked in a shaky livid breath. “You had no right to do that-I-I-.”  At the same time, taking clumsy step back, almost tripping on her heels.

 Sebastian was quick on the draw, gripping her by the waist before she fell backwards. “Take a breath.” His voice calm.

 She glared, shoving the arm that was around her waist down and off her. No! He wasn’t just going to make this go away with his charms and looks. He had been listening to her conversation with David. She had wanted to process it by herself before deciding to share it with anyone. Before deciding to share it with him. And he had violated her privacy. “Don’t.” she breathed when he took a step toward her. The alcohol was not helping the emotional roller coaster she was going through. Quite the opposite, it heighten it. And everything was still fresh, Sebastian’s and David’s words. And her own muddle thoughts.

 Was she exaggerating? It was possible. But her mind and heart were not on the same page at the moment. Their eyes locked and Camille saw the apprehension in his. Almost as if regretting what he just said. Well it was too late. There was no taking it back. Tears forming in the back of her eyelids, she looked away.

 Why the hell was she going to cry?

 She heard him sigh loudly. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Taking a step close again, and trying to make her meet his gaze. Camille sniffed, stubbornly not meeting his eyes. “I was looking for you....and when I found you -yeah....you were on the phone.” He finished lamely. 

 “And instead of leaving you decided to stand there and listen -“ 

 “You had him on speaker phon-!” Sebastian bellowed but stopped, clinching his mouth shut to keep from saying anything else, instead waving a hand in front her. After a few moments of silence, he let out a dejected sigh, rubbing the top of his head nervously. “I was looking for you.” He repeated slowly. “To talk.” He paused for a long moment. “And yea, maybe I could have... walked away-“ 

 “But you didn’t.” Camille snapped. 

 Sebastian scowled and repeated. “But I didn’t.” He crossed his arms, seemingly frustrated. “Why are trying to pick a fight?”

 Her jaw dropped at his accusation. “ME?” she yelped. “I wasn’t the one who was acting like a jerk.”

 “I told you I wasn’t upset with you-“

 The tension in the room whirling between them like a tornado funnel. Furiously shaking her head, Camille continued. “It was before Cassidy walked out into the terrace Sebastian. You were upset with me.” Rubbing her hands nervously up and down her own arms and shoulders. “You still are. I might not know you as long as Charles or Chace but I’ve been around long enough now to know when something is wrong or bothering you.”

 He threw his head back in an exasperated sigh. “I was looking for you, Camille. Because I wanted to talk.”

 “But you didn’t talk.” She indicted. “Instead you acted like a damn prick.” Sebastian’s eyes widen in surprise, and she could have sworn his lips twitched upward at the word. Any other time, Camille would have welcomed an innuendo comment, but not at the moment. And Sebastian picked up on it, because he kept his mouth shut. Her feelings were hurt and trying to joke out of it was only make it worse.

 He hastily reached out for her, tugging softly on the loose curls closest to her neck. “Draga-.”  His fingertips touching her skin now. 

 Her body shiver despite her mind wanting to shut it down. She gave a small shake of her head. “Don’t-Sebastian.” She warned. 

 “Don’t what?”  Stroking the skin behind her left ear

 “You can’t sweet talk your way out of this.”

 She heard him snort. She glared. 

 “You know, we act more of a couple than couples do.” 

 “Well, it’s a good thing we aren’t one then.” She bit back

 Sebastian glared at her remark. Okay, she could have been a bit nicer with her response. Clearing his throat. “You’re right. It’s a good thing we aren’t.” The tone of his voice icy, his hand dropping from her. Great, neither one was saying or doing anything right tonight. 

 Sebastian’s mouth twitched in annoyance, licking his bottom lip. “You know what? You’re right, bed sounds like a good idea.” It was obvious her words had stung. He took a step back. 

 It was her turn to reach out for him. “Wait.” She said with a sigh. “You said you were looking for me.” She stated softly. Despite the feeling of anger towards him at the moment, she still cared. And she wanted to know he was okay. Something had obviously happened between the time he was at the bar to the time he walked outside. Then it dawned on her. “What happened with Cassidy?” He gave her a dubious look. “Oh right.” She mumbled. 

 This is why they were having this whole fight/argument about. Camille not minding her own business.

 Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows and said dejectedly. “Think whatever you want Camille. I already said I was sorry. I mean, you’re the one letting other people off the hook over worse things.”

 Camille’s jaw dropped at his words. “I’m sorry not all of us can be perfect like you.” She snarled. “I’m sorry I can’t just snap my fingers and make all these feelings disappear.” Her voice breaking. She was projecting her emotions. That was fairly obvious. “Unlike you, I can’t seem to push my feelings-.”

 “You want to know why I was looking for you?” he interjected, before Camille had the chance to continue. “The reason why I was so upset? Why I’m still so pissed off?” He snarled. Camille jumped slightly at the tone of his voice, pressing her lips together to keep from speaking. She could have snapped and told him to fuck off but the look in his eyes stopped her. Why? Because they mirrored her own feelings of confusion, hurt, anger and sadness. And just like hers, they were caused by someone else. Sebastian continued. “Cass let Leighton know about tonight. It shouldn’t fucking matter, she is free to go wherever the hell she wants, but Cassidy’s brilliant plan was to get us together- for what? I don’t fucking know.”

 Camille watched him, unsure if she should speak. He clearly needed to vent his frustrations of seeing his ex-girlfriend. Before she could stop herself.  “You didn’t have to talk that way to her.” Referring to Cassidy, then bit her lower lip. Maybe she did need to learn how to stay out of other people’s business.

 “I know.” Sebastian mumbled, running his fingers through his short hair, before locking eyes with her. And there he was again- the gentle Sebastian. The one she had come to know and care for in the last months. The one who always made her laugh, and feel safe and good about herself.

 “What did she do?” Camille found herself asking. 

 “It doesn’t matter.” He said with a shake of his head.

 Camille groaned in frustration. “Fine, kept shutting me out.”

 He glowered. “You have your own things to deal with-.”

 “What are you? 12 years old? Besides you were the one that told me there was no shame in talking to him.” She reminded.

 “You’re right. I did say that.”

 Camille narrowed her eyes, knowing exactly what he doing, trying to deflect. “You wanted to talk. That’s why you came looking for me right?” she paused. “Then talk to me.” Almost pleading.  

 Pursing his lips together, Sebastian shut his eyes, as if debating with himself about whether he wanted to share or not. Opening his eyes again, he spoke. “I found out from mutual friends…that she was not being faithful while we were together.”

 Her stomach dropped at the words. They were all too familiar. Quickly, things started to make sense now. Why he had been so hesitant to talk about Leighton. Why he wouldn’t take her calls. Her face must have held a look of shock, because he smiled despite everything. “Why are you smiling?”

 “Because- this is why I hadn’t said anything.” Walking toward the living room, plopping himself down on the couch. “The look on your face. I didn’t want to make you feel-.”

 She felt a bubble of annoyance hit her stomach. “I hate when people tell me how to feel.” She warned with a raised eyebrow. “Why don’t you let me be the one to decide that?” Following his lead, she made her way toward the living room, sitting on the arm of the couch. “It didn’t cross your mind that maybe I would be able to relate?” 

 “It did.”

 “You could have talked to me-.”

 “And I told you I wasn’t ready.” He gripped. “Besides you have your own shit to deal with...” 

 Maybe it was the fatigue of the last few days, combine with the events from earlier in the evening, plus their own feelings but Camille felt the very little self-control and reserve evaporate her body. “Which you’re shaming me for.” She snipped back, standing up, nervously playing the shoulder straps of her dress.

 He gritted his teeth. “You’re a grown woman Camille. And we both know it’s not what I’m trying to do. Don’t try and make this into something it’s not.” Getting up from the couch, and walking around it to get to her. "I just don't want you getting hurt. Again." he confessed. He was standing in front of her now. 

Giving him a sad smile, she said. “It’s too late for that.” He opened his mouth, but she waved a hand dismissively. “This isn’t about me anyway.” And it wasn’t. Yes there was shit she was dealing with but it didn’t make her blind to others problems. Especially Sebastian. He snorted taking a step back. “What?” She asked. 

“This isn’t something that can be fixed.” 

“I know that. I’m not trying to.” She argued, getting aggravated with him again. “I just thought maybe you could use someone to talk to.” Slipping her heels off, she bend down to pick them up. “Goodnight.” She simply stated, gripping the straps of the heels, and turning in the direction of bedroom hall. Camille wasn’t going to argue anymore.

 “That’s it?” Sebastian called after her.

 “Yep.” Camille said over her shoulder. She was a few feet from the guest bedroom door when she felt a hand grasp her wrist. Without looking at him, she said. “I’m exhausted Sebastian. And we just keep going around in circles with this conversation, so I’m going to bed.” Rubbing her temple with the palm of her free hand. “I’m not trying to force you tell me how you’re feeling, it’s not my place- you’re right. But it doesn’t mean you have to be dick about it.”

 He tighten the grip on her. “Camille.” He pleaded, but she refused to make eye contact. He released her hand and she let out a sigh of relief, but it quickly turned into a gasp of surprise when she felt Sebastian slip around her, standing between the bedroom door and her. She shut her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Look at me.” He ordered gently.

 Camille’s eyes fluttered open, a small frown on her lips. He had one hand gripping on to the door handle, while his eyes searched her face. After what seemed like an eternity, Sebastian whispered. “This isn’t easy.” At those words, Camille finally met his gaze in curiosity. He didn’t have to elaborate, Camille knew exactly what he meant, but it still didn’t get him off the hook. He inched closer. He was so much taller that he hovered over Camille, those blue eyes dropping to her lips. Tilting his head to one side as if deciding what to say next.

 The way he was eyeing her at the moment made her break the gaze. “Sebastian…” she started, trying to push past him to get into the room.

 “Cam-.”

 She furiously shook her head. “No, Sebastian.” Giving him a small shove that made him drop his hand from the door knob. The anger from earlier resurfacing. “I’m done.” Trying to not be distracted by those long eyelashes.

 “You’re the one that wanted me to talk about it!” Pointing to himself in disbelief. “I can’t fucking win with you tonight!” he mumbled.

 At those worse, Camille felt every inch of her body heat up, but she wasn’t going to argue. Instead, she reached behind him and gripped on to the door knob, twisting and pushing the door open behind him. His jaw dropped in surprise at how quickly she pushed past him, into the spare room. “You’re right, you can’t. So let’s just stop okay?”

 “You don’t mean that.”  But Camille was already closing the door in his face.