#like yes they are funny. but is this who i am to you

[dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes]

A/N: I was asked for more, so I am attempting. I’ve never written anything like this. I just love the idea of dad bod Logan…or muscular, fit body of Logan’s with a tummy or a decent gut. It’d be cute. Don’t judge me.

One evening when the guys returned from a merc job, Logan goes to the bedroom to get a change of clothes while still in his suit. He can wear an outfit under it rather comfortably but this time, he noticed his suit was tight in the middle. He went into the bathroom and looked at his profile where he got his confirmation that he had a tummy. He began to strip out of his suit and kept checking himself out in the mirror, not liking what he finds. Once he pulls off his tank top, he sees that it isn’t really a gut, just pudge. Just a layer of fat on his otherwise muscular form from eating three meals a day. He wonders if he should go back to alcohol and one meal a day. He shook his head since he feels better, feels healthier, and can tell what he is doing is good for him. He has more energy and much better alertness but he doesn’t like the pooch at all. He decides to go back to one meal a day while keeping the alcohol down and just making sure to drink water instead. He can do this.

What Logan doesn’t expect when he makes this decision is how Wade acts.

Three days later after Logan has returned to eating one meal a day, Wade immediately notices the change and doesn’t like it. By the second day, he decides to eat out at places he knows Logan likes but the man refuses saying he isn’t hungry. Wade knows he is lying. The man eats like him due to maintaining his healing factor.

At day three, Wade decides to pull out the stops, he wakes early to go to that bakery Logan loves their pastry to get him a dozen with half of it solely for Logan. The man glares at Wade over his black coffee and again claims he isn’t hungry.

Now, it is the morning of day four and Logan is having his black coffee and reading the newspaper.

“So, grandpa, how’s the crossword going?” Wade asks.

Logan sips his coffee and grunts. He sets the cup down and turns the page.

“Got the funnies? I’d love to see what that stupid orange cat is doing to Jon today. “ Wade sips his khaki color coffee full of sugar and creamer.

“No, this doesn’t have funnies,” Logan explains.

“Damn. I was hoping to see what that Valiant knight was up to too. Any sudoku?” Wade pokes again.

Logan quietly rumbles as he flips through the pages and removes the pages the sudoku is on before nearly slamming it down in front of Wade. “Is there anything else you need, princess, before I go back to quietly reading the paper?”

“Actually, yes,” confirms Wade.

Logan sets the paper down and gives Wade his undivided attention.

“Why aren’t you eat? You barely have one meal a day. What changed, peanut?” Wade’s eyes are lidded and he’s frowning. Logan can smell his genuine concern. Not wanting to admit the worry, as superficial as it may sound, he shrugs. “Just haven’t been hungry for some reason.”

“I smell bullshit, Wolvie, and you know it,” argues Wade. “I don’t understand why you’d limit yourself when you’re looking great.” Logan snorts at that but Wade continues, “You seem to have more energy, are seemingly happier, and haven’t even wanted to drink more than a few beers daily. I mean, you’ve been going on jobs with me which is always a blast when you come. What could be so important that you cut back on food of all things?”

Logan mumbles an answer that Wade doesn’t hear.

“I’m sorry, honey badger, could you say that for the whole class to hear?” Wade pushes.

“My suit’s tight,” Logan barely whispers as his ears pinken.

“Your suit’s tight?” Wade’s eyes incredulously asks. Logan refuses to make eye contact and stares at the table.

“Yeah, ok?! I need to lose some weight,” Logan rumbles angrily.

Wade leans back and relaxes his body, trying to seem as non-threatening to the upset beastly of the man who has his heart. “I do sew, Logan. Why don’t you let me help you out with this?”

Logan snorts and shakes his head. “Even I know letting clothes out, let alone this suit, is challenging without matching…everything,” he acknowledges. Wade is surprised Logan understands the complexities of sewing.

“True, but I know how to get matching material and where ,” Wade grins, haughtily.

Tag: @asgardiansofthegalaxyvol3

Logan moving in with Wade and gaining weight because not only is he eating three square meals a day, but he also picked up baking because both Al and Wade have a sweet tooth, and of course the sweets are there, he’s going to eat them too. But now he’s getting kind of chubby. Which isn’t a problem really. He looks healthier than he has in decades. Except…

Wade stopped flirting with him. Straight up just stopped. And yeah Logan’s been ignoring it right along because he knows Wade isn’t actually serious about it, but it was still kind of nice to be wanted. Especially since he came from a reality where he was literally the most hated man alive. And of course now he has actual feelings for Wade, he wants the option to be there.

So he decides to not only start going to the gym but also to stop eating. And of course Wade notices and has to sit him down and ask what’s up, he’s been super healthy lately why is he changing that

And Logan can’t admit why he’s doing it so he deflects. “So going to the gym isn’t healthy?”

“You practically live there now. You’re a certified gym rat. You’re overworked and underfed. THAT isn’t healthy.”

And they go back and forth until Logan finally admits it’s because he gained weight and doesn’t feel attractive anymore. “Hell, you don’t even flirt with me anymore and I’ve seen you hit on inanimate objects before.”

And Wade stares at him for like 10 full seconds before he busts out laughing, like genuinely knee slapping chuckle fest because, “You think I stopped flirting with you because I’m shallow??? You honestly think I look like a burn victims even uglier ball sack and I’m being picky with how someone else looks?”

Logan tries to shrug it off with a “Everyone has preferences.”

“Trust me, Peanut, it isn’t that.”

“So then what is it?”

And now it’s Wade’s turn to be defensive until he realizes their conversation is just going in circles and Logan won’t stop destroying his body until he comes clean. So he has to stare at the wall as he tells Logan that it isn’t that he’s not attracted to Logan’s body anymore, it’s that he’s hyper attracted to it now, that he looks so healthy, so well fed, so inadvertently loved, and that it’s a reminder of all the domesticity of their situation that he’s actually fallen in love and can’t trust himself to casually flirt with Logan anymore because he’s genuinely afraid he’s going to do something and ruin their friendship now.

And they make out sloppy style and confess their love to each other of course

[harunayuuka2060]

WHB Not A Descendant (Cont.)

Leviathan: *dragging MC by the back of their neck* Michael has remained silent for some time.

MC: Isn't that a good thing?

Leviathan: No news is good news. And you've had nearly a month of rest, so it's time to return to work.

MC: Uh... I'm a devil of Gehenna.

Leviathan: *stops in his tracks and turns his head at them*

Leviathan: Foras is your work-husband.

MC: Oh, we broke up yesterday.

Foras: *appears* No, we didn't.

MC: ...

MC: *folded their arms*

MC: *has been stationed in Niflheim*

MC: ...

MC: What am I supposed to find here? *looking at a wasteland*

MC: *sigh* Whatever.

MC: *wears Raphael's wings, flaps them, and soars high into the sky, scanning the area*

MC: Hm? *has spotted a devil below*

MC: ...

MC: That's a large haul.

Andrealphus: ...

Andrealphus: You're a devil, yet you have Raphael's scent.

MC: ...Must be the wings. I remember washing them though.

Andrealphus: *looks a bit surprised* You must be that new devil...

MC: Hm?

Andrealphus: ...

Andrealphus: What are you doing here?

MC: Leviathan wanted me to look for Michael. He said he might be hiding here.

Andrealphus: *smiles* He was, but he escaped. You must be the reason why.

MC: Me?

Andrealphus: You might not have noticed, but you have quite a strong presence.

MC: Oh. So I lost the stealth.

Andrealphus: *chuckles* Anyway, would you like to come with me? I'm on my way to report to His Majesty Belphegor.

MC: ...

MC: Do you have food there?

Andrealphus: *smiles* Yes.

MC: Okay.

MC: ...

Belphegor: ...

Belphegor: What are you staring at?

MC: Sorry. I've never seen someone this degenerate.

Belphegor: Heh. You're a funny kid. I can kill you, y'know?

MC: Disinfect yourself first from head to toe. Thank you.

Beleth: Andre, where did you get this new pal of yours?

Andrealphus: Don't you know them, Beleth? They were the one who defeated Raphael and Gabriel.

Beleth: Huh? I thought that was just a rumor?

Harumon: Yeah! That's impossible! Just look at them!

MC: *does a peace sign with a poker face*

MC: ...

Andrealphus: What's wrong?

MC: *has been trying to teleport back to Hades* My box is not working.

Beleth: That means the other end is blocked.

MC: ...

MC: *sigh* Does that mean I need to walk?

Beleth: *chuckles* Your mission's not done yet.

MC: But I hate looking for someone who doesn't want to show up.

Belphegor: You just have to be patient.

MC: Do you do that?

Belphegor: 'Course not.

MC: ...

MC: *turns to Andrealphus*

Andrealphus: ...

MC: ...

Andrealphus: ...What is it?

Beleth: Looks like they want your help.

Andrealphus: I'm not sure-

MC: Andre-hyung.

Andrealphus: ...

Andrealphus: *smiles* Okay.

Belphegor: So that's how you play.

[mercy-burning]

Here We’re In Love (Apricity)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!Reader Summary: Spencer teaches you why he's become so fond of your mornings together. Category: Fluff (who am I) Content: Domestic fluff, a light dusting of erotic tension but nothing explicit, the first "I love you", happy tears Word Count: 1.2k

MASTERLIST

(AKA Mercy learned a new word and got The Feels, so she had to plug it into a fic. Obviously.)

----------------------------

There was once a time in Spencer's life when being in bed didn't generate a strong feeling of any kind. It was simply a task needed to end the day and transition into another, a means to an end, and least of all a luxury; Even when he was a child, responsibility outranked reveling in the comfort of a warm bed.

These days, though, it seems like all he wants to do is be in bed. Not because he feels depressed or exhausted in any extreme, but it's hard for him not to ache for an entire day spent solely enveloped in the warm embrace of linen, made even warmer by your presence. Since you've been with him, it brings something so normal and safe amongst the chaos of his daily life—not just in bed of course, but especially in bed. Especially in the mornings. It has quickly become his favorite part of the day, and he finds himself never wanting it to end.

His eyes open to find you already awake before sunrise, staring at him like he always gets caught staring at you. You try to remain still and calm, but the minute cinch in your expression tells him that you're probably chanting Ha-Ha! Got you! on repeat in your head, and the thought makes him huff a laugh.

"What's so funny?" you ask seriously.

Spencer's smile remains as he shifts, close enough to touch his forehead to your own. "Absolutely nothing."

"You've always been a terrible liar."

"I don't know what you mean."

The giggles between the two of you steadily increase with every sentence, until your laughs turn into lazy kisses and then to sighs.

Sunlight eventually breaches the shades, signaling a different type of warmth and the start of a new day, and Spencer selfishly begs it not to be so, his hands reaching for you as you try to escape the bed.

"Stay," he groans, successfully keeping you next to him. "You don't have anywhere to be today, and neither do I..."

Bringing one of his hands to your lips, you laugh. "I know... But I don't want to spend all day in bed..."

"Then we won't... Just a few more hours?"

Your laugh this time is a full-blown cackle. The sound makes his heart soar. "Hours?"

"Yes, hours... This is the most comfortable place in the whole world. Don't you think that deserves hours of your time?"

"I suppose..." Snuggling back into the covers and adoringly rolling your eyes as your head hits the pillow once more, you've finally succumbed to your boyfriend's charms, a feat that feeds his silly pride and also warms him to the core.

You tell him you won't fall asleep and demand him to follow suit, to which he happily agrees, and then you're talking him through your plans for the day. Your voice is just as strong of a comfort as your touch, every syllable bright and soft, and certainly more pleasant than the incessant chirping of birds that some people seem to find soothing first thing in the morning for one reason or another.

As you talk to him, Spencer feels like he's sinking further into the mattress, like your voice and your smile and your fingers absentmindedly trailing the veins of his arms as you speak are casting him into an inescapable state of magnificent solitude.

He'd begged you for hours, but the unexaggerated truth is that he could stay like this forever.

Sensing the trance you seem to have put him under, you pause and tilt your head to study him. Still, your fingers stay true to their wanderlust and dance along the surface of his skin like it's second nature.

"You're looking at me funny."

"Hmm?"

Even as he raises an eyebrow, acknowledging you acknowledging him, it's like he can't be bothered to care. The dreamy haze in his eyes as it bores into you is a comfort in itself, but it's also very... tingle-inducing.

A familiar blaze heats your insides and every surface of your skin, and even without so much as a suggestive hum from him, you still find yourself shying away. "Stop it!"

You half-expect him to argue that he's not doing anything wrong in that cheeky way of his, but he remains silent and thoughtful, studying you carefully.

"Are you familiar with the concept of 'apricity'?"

Usually when he teaches you new things, he isn't staring at you like that. His voice isn't quiet and wistful and teetering on the edge of melancholy.

Unsure of what to make of it all, you shake your head. "No..."

"The word itself comes from the early 1600s. It's archaic, but the feeling is quite beautiful, and relevant to many people whether they know it or not. Apricity defines the feeling of the sun's natural warmth in the cold, usually harsh, winter."

You consider this, and try the word on your tongue, repeating it slowly and nodding. A small smile forms on your lips. "I like it. I guess it's nice to know that oddly-specific feeling has a name..."

Spencer hums and grabs your hand. "You have no idea..."

You laugh softly again. "No, I don't... Enlighten me?"

He considers this for a moment, then smiles, pulling you close to him. "That's just it— You enlighten my very existence. Just by being here in this bed with me."

As he attacks your neck with kisses, you can't help the string of laughter that escapes you. "Oh really?"

"Absolutely." The word is a confident rumble into your skin that soaks through, straight from his lips and down into to the depths of your soul and beyond. It erases any doubt you've ever harbored, lifts you into the light, and manifests as its own form of sunshine, settled right in the nooks and crannies of your heart.

Spencer pulls away briefly to look at you, taking your head in his gentle hands. His voice is soft, but firm.

"I guess what I mean is that... My life can be really dark and frigid a lot of the time... But ever since I've known you, it's like those moments aren't really so terrible anymore, because I know what true, natural love feels like. When I'm here, with you, I truly believe that nothing can hurt me. All I feel is warmth. Your warmth... You're my apricity."

An involuntary pout accompanies your wide, watering eyes as you lean into his touch, a tightness at your throat even as you try to tell him the easiest thing in the world.

"I love you," you manage to get out through a sob. It sounds utterly lame in comparison to the poetic metaphor he's just confessed to you, but given the fact that it's the first time the words have left your mouth, they seem to have the same effect on him regardless.

Spencer matches your pout and the two of you are drawn together like a summer thunderstorm— boldly, brightly, and full of life. The tears fall between you in a heap of pouring rain, but there's nothing gloomy in the love that carries you through it.

"I love you, too," he whispers, pulling away for a moment.

You kiss him again, then tell him, "I never want to leave this bed."

He kisses you and laughs, wiping away your tears as you both fall back, head to the pillows once more.

"I'm not going to fight you on that one."

You say it's fine if it's all in my mind Oh, you look so real but it feels like a lie, so

Don't pinch me in case I'm asleep In case you're not here 'cause this is a dream And we've never met so we're not in love In case I'm asleep, don't pull the–

Don't touch me, this coma is nice Too good to be true, so just let me lie Down in the sheets, 'cause here we're in love In case I'm asleep, don't pull the-

Plug Oh-oh-oh

--Pull The Plug, Ashe

[writer-freak]

Spoiled Rafayel x bodyguard reader

Idea: Spoiled bratty rich girl x bodyguard who's forced to put up with it

Warnings: Gn reader, fluff, AU, strong reader, Rafayel being overdramatic, Rafayel being a tease and a bit of a brat, pretty short I just wrote down whatever came to me A/n: I had this little idea of for a spoiled rich girl x reader and who would fit better for this type of a scenario than Rafayel. Reader isn't really meant to be Mc and this is more of an AU. Maybe I'm gonna write some more for this idea as I find it pretty fun.l

"You're not carrying me?" Rafayel blinked at you, all wide, expectant eyes, his lips forming into a pout. "But my legs hurt."

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Your legs don’t hurt. You just don’t want to walk."

He gasped, clutching his chest like you’d just stabbed him. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing? I—"

"You literally just told me that your custom-made boots are the most comfortable things you've ever owned."

"A betrayal of this magnitude... and from my own bodyguard!" He dramatically leaned against the nearest wall, resting the back of his hand on his forehead.

"Rafayel."

"Look at me, left to suffer. The streets are so—so dirty, and here I am, expected to walk like some commoner."

You were this close to walking away and letting him figure it out himself. But no, you were his bodyguard, and no matter how insufferable and annoying he was, you were stuck with him.

Unfortunately.

"Listen, your highness," you drawled, grabbing his arm and forcing him back upright. "You have two perfectly good legs. Use them. Or do you want me to throw you over my shoulder and carry you like a sack of potatoes?"

His eyes shined at that, a wicked smirk appearing on his lips. "Oh? How bold of you. Are you sure you can handle all this?" He gestured vaguely at himself. "I am quite the precious cargo."

You let go of his arm. "Walk."

"Ugh, fine." He sighed like you were asking him to climb a mountain instead of just taking a few steps. "But if my legs fall off, I hope you can live with the guilt."

This was your life. Babysitting a spoiled, dramatic, and entirely too attractive pain in the ass.

You weren’t sure exactly when things started to change.

Maybe it was the way he started listening to you more, actually taking your orders seriously instead of treating them like some funny suggestions.

Maybe it was the way he’d hover a little too close after a fight, his eyes scanning you for injuries, lips drawn into a rare frown.

Or maybe it was the way your heart didn’t jump in frustration anymore when he teased you, but instead, your heart jumped with some other more dangerous feeling.

"You know," Rafayel mused one day, sprawled across a luxurious couch while you stood stiffly by the door. "I think I've grown quite fond of you."

You arched a brow. "Oh? In a ‘you’re my favorite servant’ kind of way?"

He grinned. "In a my bodyguard is the only person I trust and also happens to be devastatingly attractive kind of way."

You stared at him. "Rafayel."

"Yes, my dear protector?"

You exhaled sharply, trying so hard not to let his words affect you. "You can’t just—just say things like that."

He tilted his head, his eyes glittering. "Why not? Does it fluster you?"

You turned away, ignoring the heat creeping up your neck. "I’m leaving."

"But who's going to protect me from all the dangers of the world that are out to get me?"

"You'll be fine."

"Wait, wait!" He scrambled up. "Fine, fine! I won't tease you. At leasdt not as much." He looked at you, his gaze softer now. "But you are my favorite."

You sighed, but this time, you couldn’t quite fight off the small smile tugging at your lips.

Maybe this job wasn’t so bad after all.

Divider by: @cafekitsune

[sworeidnevercompromise]

ꨄ︎ pillow talk: a drew starkey smau part one > series masterlist

divider creds: @adornedwithlight

filmupdates

liked by lucaguadagninoarchive and others filmupdates It was announced a few months ago that Y/N Y/L/N and Drew Starkey are set to star in the upcoming "Pillow Talk" remake directed by Luca Guadagnino. The trio will be discussing the film at the 81st annual Venice Film festival this Wednesday.

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y/nweloveyou agh yay my girl's going to venice!

youruser 💚 ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkeyfan !!!!! venice venice venice!

y/narchive Currently leaping for joy right now!

reputation1389 umm...who was asking for a remake of this movie & also why the hell would they cast y/n to play jan lmfao

officialmikeymadison_ !!!!

madelyncline yes yes yes

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youruser

liked by y/narchive and others youruser venice! ti amo moltissimo! 💚

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bestfrienduser venice film festival TOMORROW how are you feeling queen

youruser @/bestfrienduser so so excited

lucaguadagninoarchive 💚💚💚 ・♥️ by author

allabouty/n ohh ur gonna serve w ur red carpet look i just know it

taliaryder bellissima

alexademie need to see you soon

youruser yes let's grab a slice 🍕

drewstarkey press tour t minus 1 week ・♥️ by author

alexanderludwig Can't wait!

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ynarchive

liked by allabouty/n and others y/narchive y/n has arrived at the venice film festival!

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allabouty/n GOD she looks good wtf! ♥️ by author

timotheechalametpapsmear y/n y/l/n it seems I’ve grown quite fond of you tho there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard

quietquitting @/timotheechalametpapsmear "no sexual urges or desires" is insane bc she's literally the most gorgeous woman alive. i simply cannot relate to ur statement timotheechalametpapsmear @/quietquitting i'm crying LMFAOOO

sallythecinephile yeah she ate ��️ by author

samanthasnarkington it's giving cunty tissue paper

allabouty/n @/samanthasnarkington 💀

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drewstarkeypics

liked by drewstarkeyfan and others drewstarkeypics Drew has arrived at the 81st annual Venice Film Festival!

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drewstarkeyfan the outfits & the posing r kinda killing me lowkey it's giving 🧍‍♂️

supercargo @/drewstarkeyfan the way y/n was serving looks & poses on the red carpet and drews lowkey just standing there is so funny. go girl give us nothing

reputation1389 he looks so gorgeous now all i have to do is get y/n away from him

supercargo @/reputation1389 oh that's not... samanthasnarkington @/reputation1389 shut the fuck up

drewstarkeyfan he's blowing a kiss to me in the last slide btw

rafeyswife33 @/drewstarkeyfan hey girl i hate to tell you this but he's actually my man drewstarkeyfan @/rafeyswife33 i will fight you to the death.

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allabouty/n

liked by reina115 and others allabouty/n pics of y/n during her press interview for luca guadagnino's pillow talk.

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reputation1389 this look is BORING!

y/nssangels wow this hair really suits her she's so cute

drewy/nthinker Y/N I LOVE YOU!

lovely232 她有一张人们过去常常为之去打仗的脸。♥️ by author

y/nitalia ciao bella

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drewstarkeypics

liked by drewstarkeynation and others drewstarkeypics ✨NEW✨ Drew at the Venice Film Festival, discussing Pillow Talk

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drewstarkeynation His eyes are the same shade of blue as the background 😍

supercargo i'm salivating

jmeade123 smash next question

reputation1389 slide 2 is him when he sees people shipping him with y/n

y/nssangels @/reputation1389 i am in your walls.

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youruser

liked by drewstarkey and others youruser sick of teaser trailers, i know. pillow talk's full trailer releases tomorrow. movie comes out in just 2 months. i have never loved a project more. luca - adapting such a classic film can be challenging, but you knocked it out of the park. drew, sweet drew, i couldn't have asked for a better costar. & to my fans: i hope you all love this movie as much as i do. see you @ the movies november 7th. 💚

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drewstarkey november can't come soon enough

youruser @/drewstarkey counting down every second

caring1spunk slide 6. smash. ♥️ by author

a24 💚

y/nweloveyou will you be posting for every press tour stop?

youruser @/y/nweloveyou most likely! brace yourselves for spam LMFAO

drewy/nthinker "drew, sweet drew" is insane just kiss already ♥️ by author

samanthasnarkington @/drewy/nthinker OMFG SHE LIKED THIS IS CRAZY drewy/nthinker @/samanthasnarkington i literally almost passed out guys is drew x y/n coming true ?!?!?!?!?!?!

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drewstarkey

liked by youruser and others drewstarkey director's cut

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alexanderludwig Excited to be on this press tour with you, man!

drewstarkey @/alexanderludwig can't wait brother youruser @/alexanderludwig @/drewstarkey 🎶 2 heads 2gether can b better than 1 🎶

madelyncline proud of u bud ♥️ by author

dstarkeynews I’m so proud of you, never stop. ❤️

a24 !!!!

obx they grow up so fast 😥 ♥️ by author

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y/nupdates

liked by explqin and others y/nupdates Y/N serving gelato at a shop in Venice

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singkirbysing So so happy that my song Kool Aid has been put over a video of this gorgeous girl @/youruser. Can't wait to see the new movie! ♥️ by author

youruser @/singkirbysing i love you wtf!!!

youruser slinging gelato is kind of my calling ngl ♥️ by author

youruser tbh had no idea this video was being taken. why'd i serve so hard ♥️ by author

y/nweloveyou she looks good in every single frame she's so photogenic i feel physically ill

y/nssangels this is right near my house i'm scared

left4rat i would pay one million dollars to have y/n hand me gelato

drewstarkeyfan all that gelato and she's still somehow the sweetest thing in there

fairylights2222 mother served (literally)

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y/nweloveyou

liked by y/narchive and others y/nweloveyou day 1 of the pillow talk press tour complete!

y/nitalia

liked by y/narchive and others y/nitalia Y/N servizio per gelati a Venezia. È così bella, questo vestito e il trucco le stanno così bene. 😌 (Y/N serving gelato in Venice. She is so beautiful, this dress and makeup look so good on her. 😌)

bestfrienduser

liked by youruser and others bestfrienduser @/youruser press tour brought her to me in greece

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youruser see you again soon beautiful ♥️ by author

youruser why r u literally radiant

bestfrienduser @/youruser all you gorgeous youruser @/bestfrienduser stop i'm going to kiss you

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youruser 10m

drewstarkey 10m

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodrando]

Just saw an old animatic by Casserole:D on YouTube and y'all

I am missing the old Dream smp days, lemme just say. I won't get deep into recent controversies and things, this is my rant. Do not take anything to heart.

I miss the Dream smp.

When, yes, the world was in chaos, but we could rely on a funny Quackity stream, Ranboo mining for hours, Tommy laughing like an old man and being called a child. Tubbo saying something that WILL be taken out of context later. wilbur, when I could look at him and not feel disappointed and sad.

I miss laughing with such a wide community, where we could make anything angsty if we tried hard enough. Crying for no clear reason about a British hamilton Minecraft roleplay that yep, was silly and stupid, but beautiful in its own way. A community before it was overtaken by stupid people with unlimited access to Twitter and no respect for others boundaries.

I miss being able to see a stupid, simple pig and not wanting to cry. I miss talking about the bench trio, sleepy boys, heck! Even the dream team. I so, so respect the young kids who went through so much behind the scenes at such a young age, but as selfish as it is I miss it.

I miss being able to jokingly call Tommy, Ranboo, and Tubbo children. I miss looking forward to Ranboo trips to the UK. I miss seeing them walk around in their silly black and white mask. Don't get me wrong, I so, so love how much more confident they've grown and I am still an avid watcher of Ranboo. But even though it's selfish I miss it. I want to go back to 2020 (even as terrible it was) for a little bit of that peace and belonging the Dsmp brought to me in that terrible time.

I miss technoblade. I doubt I could write more without actually crying so I'm leaving it at that.

This is my hello to all past dream smp fans. Yeah it was hard. But I hope that if you see this and feel some sense of nostalgia, you know you aren't alone.

[butchisrevolution]

dolly dog man readthrough #5

PART #1 BC MY ASS CANNOT STOP YAPPING

for whom the ball rolls

THERE IS SO MUCH TO ANALYZE IN THIS BOOK

holuy shit now they're tackling minority power struggle, racial discrimination and class war in dog man . wtf

is this that autism speaks thing or am i tripping

asl dogman my beloved

that must be stressful for li'l petey. like, you have two dads, the one you were created by and the one that adopted you. you have an deep rooted emotional attachment to the one who created you despite his flaws, "even crack babies love their mama", but you look up to your adoptive dad so much more because he aligns with your values. he does what's considered the right thing.

but he also has an innate dislike to your birth father, due to issues that predate you, issues you can't rectify. you know your birth father is trying to fix them, but you still have to watch your adoptive father unlearn his distaste for him. you know it's getting better, but it hurts just to see it. even one glimpse of hatred towards someone you love BY someone you love hurts immensely. but you just have to watch and wait, do what you can and stay optimistic because it's out of your control.

also, i like the artistic choice that every time there's an important or moving piece of dialogue it just shows their silhouettes and a color corresponding to the feelings that it brings up. its a nice touch

FUCK YEAH ANARCHY!!

also

my fav polycule . the gang is back together again. YES

from an analysis standpoint, he's feeling super insecure right now. he definitely doesn't want them around solely because he feels inferior to their parenting skills and thinks it would be too painful to have them around due to that. he also thinks his kid would like them more than him, which probably is making him feel unloved and unwanted. his kid's hesitancy is feeling like a rejection of him, which makes him question his identification with being better than his own father. he's thinking this subconsciously, of course, i don't think he's currently self aware enough to realize that

THE CONTRAST BETWEEN THIS SCENE AND THE PREVIOUS SCENE WHERE HE MADE HIM SLEEP IN THE CLOSET AGHH

THE CONTRAST AUGHHH

THEY'RE DOMESTIC NOW

WHAT DID I SAYYYY . IT WAS NEVER ABT DOG MAN AND 80-HD IT WAS ABOUT HIM. AND HIS DADDY ISSUES

shiiiiit

YESSS.. NOW THAT HE HAS CONFRONTED AND DISCUSSED THE ROOT OF HIS DISCOMFORT HE CAN FOCUS ON WHAT'S BEST FOR ALL OF THEM WITH LESS INSECURITY. BUST

my shaylas... theyre sharing the custody... my fucked up gay polycule... i am overjoyed

aweee... my shaylas ... <3

they r figuring out their family struggles and finding a healthier dynamic. this is great

also this is a rlly funny bedframe considering my petey npd theory.. LMAO

this is also literally just like what sleeping in a bed with an actual cat is like

generational mental illness confirmed. this is how u give ur kids disorders

oh baby. ow. he was repressing the guilt with cognitive dissonance, excusing it by thinking li'l petey wouldn't remember, but now that they've finally aknowledged it he has to confront it.

the symbolism in the last panel. the noises are scaring li'l petey. he's literally trying to shield him from the generational trauma :(

[gothamite-rambler]

Clark and Diana must've had a field day at Damian's existence

*and the rape part was a second canon that I think was retconned again. comics are weird*

Clark: I'm sorry… You have a child… again?

Bruce: Yes.

Clark: And he's yours… like DNA test, yours?

Bruce took a deep inhale and then sighed.

Bruce: Yes.

Clark: And the kid is also related to Talia Al Ghul?

Bruce: Yep… Yep… I thought the condom wouldn't break.

Clark: I… I… I'm— You thought the what wouldn't break?

Diana (amused): I'm surprised you didn't try the pull-out method with that thought process. You had a child with Talia and he's the new Robin, did I miss anything?

Bruce: No... no. You're about right.

Clark: I'm not sure how to react.

Diana: I got you on this. The dark knight, master detective, stoic emo billionaire had a child with one of your arch-enemies? The one you said you'd never have relations with again?

Bruce: …Yep.

Diana nodded and pointed at Bruce, laughing accordingly. The man covered his face, embarrassed.

Clark: Ignore her. You said you weren't even aware he was… alive. That there was a being that shares your DNA? You have plans that can defeat us, but you never thought to check in on the woman you slept with eight years ago?

Diana laughed harder, falling out of her seat in hysterics. Clark shook his head.

Bruce: Okay, at first I was aware she was pregnant, and then she said she lost the baby, so… I never called her about that. You can stop laughing, Diana!

Diana: I can't stop! This is too funny! It’s funnier than when Hermes tricked Zeus into drinking fermented wine. I can't breathe! Wait, wait— when Zeus found out about his child…

Clark (jokingly): Which one?

Bruce: I wasn’t aware he existed! I didn’t know the child I had with a crazy woman was around! Can she not laugh at me? I’m now linked to Ra's Al Ghul! This is a lot for me! Can you show me some pity?

Clark and Diana: No!

Bruce: Why are you judging me?!

Clark: Because you look hypocritical in the funniest way possible.

Diana: Exactly! You had a kid from a booty call. Wait, wait, serious time.

Diana got back in her seat and cleared her throat.

Diana: It was consensual, correct?

Bruce: Yes.

Diana: And you used a condom from where?

Bruce: …A gas station.

Diana: And you thought it would do the job? A gas station condom?

Bruce: I was hoping it would, or at the very least she'd have protection. I didn't know she wanted kids!

Diana (chuckling): You thought the woman who's been wanting to marry you for years wouldn't want kids?!

Clark (laughing): We listen and we judge!

Bruce: I hate you both. Stop judging me. I'm the Dark Knight.

Bruce covered his face, groaning.

Clark: We're just messing with you. I, for one, am happy you took the kid in. I imagine being raised around the Ghuls wasn't great… or safe.

Bruce: Um… okay, he wasn't just raised around them… Jason helped babysit him. He’s known for eight years.

Clark and Diana (mocking him): We listen and we judge!

Diana burst into laughter again.

Diana: I knew there was a reason I like him!

Clark: I'm pretty sure she's happy for you too. Just the—

Bruce (mortified): Yeah, the situation is humorous because it's at my expense and ironic that I fumbled like that. I'm going to be dealing with this a lot now. I do love him, though. He's a cute kid… He's neat, like all my other sons.

Clark: Aww, that's sweet and reassuring, honestly. A rich white man with a baby from a booty call usually doesn’t go well.

Bruce: The fact I know that's true really says something, but thank you for the compliment.

[michellejonesgf]

real and reel, we know but we don’t • spencer reid x cinematographer!gn!reader (sm au)

characters : spencer reid x gn!reader

summary : and they were roommates!

warnings: use of "y/n" (forgive me dears)

a/n : literally just saw these pictures and was like oh i like spencer reid and oh i like cameras lets smush them!

updated a/n : help this has been in my drafts SINCE AUGUST 2022. this may read as ooc and u know what.......let that be fine.....thank u pals

Liked by dontcallmejj, spencerreid, thisisemily and 142 others

notyn : “did you know that the first ever film was a black and white reel of a man going about his day. it was dziga vertov and the name of the film was ‘man with a movie camera’.” why do u need film school when u have a beautiful encyclopaedic wondermind <3

i love (hate) bring your roommate to work day!

queenofallknowledge : dr. spencer reid caught MANSPLAINING a successful cinematographer their own job???

→ spencerreid : Penelope, please stop saying that, I'm begging you, I was not mansplaining.

→ notyn : #spencerreidisoverparty

→ spencerreid : You too?

dontcallmejj : "roommate" okay, you ARE funny

→ queenofallknowledge : i was mad at you for not taking my side at work today but this comment erased all of that!

→ dontcallmejj : i couldn't take your side because i was eating lunch! but yes. we have, as the kids would call it, an "and they were roommates" situation on our hands.

Liked by notyn, derekmorgan, thisisemily, a_hotchner and 84 others.

spencerreid : What a wonderful life.

notyn : pictures taken by urs truly <3 commenting because mr. boy-genius-iq-of-5000 doesn't understand instagram etiquette!

a_hotchner : How do I not have some of these? They're wonderful!

Liked by derekmorgan, thisisemily, a_hotch and 46 others.

notyn : unseen pictures from my last day on set, these wonderful lovely people who have changed my life forever and i will always remember this adventure.

Liked by queenofallknowledge, thisisemily, dontcallmejj, derekmorgan and 144 others.

spencerreid : The love of my life taught me something cool! I am living, laughing, slaying.

notyn : kind of regret teaching him internet speak now...

queenofallknowledge : LOVE OF YOUR LIFE INDEED!! morgan, u owe me $50 baby

→ derekmorgan: Reid for all your coyness, this is the one place you choose to be bold?

queenofallknowledge : i mean, i saw them kissing in the break room the other day so...

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

[Image Description: 5 screenshots of The Magnus Archives transcripts.

image 1:

Basira: No, no — the hot one. He has scars like you, but kind of manages to pull them off — Archivist: Yes, Tim.

Image 2:

Basira has refused to compromise her position any further, so we're having to rely on Tim's involvement with certain staff at the police records office. Apparently, he is involved both with one of the ladies there, as well as the gentleman who manages the other shift. This is useful for acquiring information, but I am... uncomfortable with how easily discovered this arrangement might be.

Image 3:

Surprisingly, it seems comprehensive shipping records are harder for Tim to flirt his way into than police reports, and Sasha [screenshot ends].

Image 4:

Tim (rueful): I can't believe you'd just abandon our intense will-they, won't-they storyline like that. Sasha: Eeerm, I'm pretty sure we established it's very much won't they. Tim: No, no, no, no, see — we had the ill-advised hookup, the awkward aftermath, and the gradually rebuilt friendship, but — that's all season two stuff. We've got like five more seasons before we get the heartwarming epilogue that makes it canon.

Image 5:

Nikola: You can't even save him! Tim: But I can hurt you. Nikola: It will not end like this. Tim (dryly): You sound stressed. You know I hear the great Grimaldi's in town. You should go see it, cheer yourself up. Nikola: That's. Not. Funny. Tim: I know. (Detonator clicks, explosion goes off before abruptly cutting)

End image description.]

Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Scripted Undefeated Bracket — Round 2

Propaganda

Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives):

he's regularly sent to flirt with cops and paramedics to hustle information out of them, he's the canonical office hottie and I, for once, think he was right to blow up those fucking clowns

#c'monnn tim “the hot one” stoker sweep #tim “he'd better not be using institute funds to woo filing clerks again” stoker #tim “involved with one of the ladies there as well as the gentleman that manages the other shift” stoker #keep kayaking in heaven king 😔

Jonathan Harker (Re: Dracula):

#HOT JONNO RIGHTS #nothing is sexier than deciding you’ll become a monster alongside your wife

Mod Note: This is only the Jonathan Harker from the podcast Re: Dracula. Do not vote on the basis of any other Jonathan Harker.

Additional propaganda below the cut:

Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives):

#casner never struck me as sexy… and you DARE put him against canonically declared hot by basira TIMOTHY STOKER???

TIM STOKER #THAT IS MY BOY !!!!

#tim is KILLIN IT #as he should!!!

#Tim is the best #vote for him ❤️❤️❤️

Jonathan Harker (Re: Dracula):

At last, proper recognition for our boy Jonny!

[fuckmaster-unlimited]

what is it about me that makes people (specifically my friends) think “hey this guy is probably receptive to mpreg jokes”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[somerandomcockroach]

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[starry-bi-sky]

wolfpack. aka: if not friend, then why friend-shaped?

"Hey-- uh, Danny?" There's an almost imperceptible tremor in Tucker's voice.

Danny doesn't look up from what he's doing, his pencil scritching across his notebook as he tries to do another quadratic formula question. "Hm."

"What's -- uh -- what's with the dogs?"

He looks up now, and finally sees where Tucker is -- standing in the doorway of his room with an ashy look on his face and a skewed, nervous smile. He's got a white knuckle grip on the doorknob. Sam is wide-eyed behind him, and using him as a partial meat-shield.

Danny looks down to the two giant ghost wolves sprawled next to him lazily. One large green one with his head in Danny's lap, letting him use him as a prop-up for his notebook. Another equally large black one splayed against his hip, sleeping on her side with her head tilted inward to his calf.

Automatically, a grin tilts across Danny's face, and he lifts his notebook up to scratch behind the green one's ears. He opens a lazy eye, one that is bloody red with a ring of yellow around the pupil, before slipping it shut and leaning his head into Danny's touch. "This is Sirius and Procyon," he says, and reaches down to scratch Sirius' belly. "And they're not dogs, they're wolves."

"Great," Tucker says, his voice suddenly much smaller and faint, "Love that distinction."

Sirius makes a great big groan, and Danny's grin widens, his heart swelling with fondness. His hand slips away from her belly, and before he can put his notebook back down, Procyon pushes his head up his lap until his ear is against his stomach, demanding pets now too.

Sam peeks her head up from over Tucker's shoulder, "I think what Tucker's asking here is what are they doing here, Danny."

He shrugs, scratching under Procyon's chin. "They kinda just showed up. I tried sending them back to the Zone, but they keep returning." And they were weirdly intent on just following him around, which is the only reason he gave up on returning them. They weren't causing trouble, and they knew how to hide around the living. Plus, he just loves dogs. "So now I have two wolves living with me."

This, oddly enough, did not do anything to calm Sam and Tucker down. Tucker's mouth purses into a thin line, and he presses the sides of his palms to his lips in prayer. "How have your parents not found out about this?"

Danny wordlessly raises his hand, and his sleeve slides down to reveal a thin chain bracelet hooked around his wrist. He whistles sharply, and both Procyon and Sirius jerk their heads up to look at him, ears pricked up and eyes alert.

Silently, he points to his wrist and rattles it twice, and in unison both wolves stand up and pounce. Instantly, they turn into a respective, opaque black and green mist that swirls around the bracelet and forms into two, flat wolf charms.

Both wolves are posing in the stereotypical wolf howl, with little stars indented on the sides. Procyon's charm has the Canis Minor constellation engraved on it, while Sirius has the Canis Major.

Danny faces Sam and Tucker, and points at his wrist. "Like this."

[egophiliac]

(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....

can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.

fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH