#like yes the stuff about growth and betterment is -chef's kiss- but I love a good

[screechthemighty]

Okay so related to that reblog I did from @forgedobsidian but

fr an underrated element of the plot of Ragnarok is how everyone--EVEN FATE ITSELF--interprets prophecy using limited information and their own biases, and how knee-jerk responses to that only make the situation worse. It's actually wild on a replay how right but not right literally everyone was and how the parts where they weren't right completely changed the outcome. Had to put this under a cut because I am once again screaming for too long about God of War but think about it!!

Atreus is depicted holding a father with a marred eye in his arms as that father is badly injured and possibly dying, and he seems upset. Everyone assumes it will be his own father (and to be fair, Kratos has been killed like. so many times). It's actually ODIN, the All Father, not technically "dying" but getting soul pokeball'd, and Atreus is upset because his offer of redemption was shut down. Atreus is seen alone at the end of the mural prophecy not because he lost his father, but because he has decided to go his own way in the world.

War god with a spear will lead the armies at Ragnarok. Assumption is it's Tyr, because that's the cultural knowledge everyone has. NO ONE can guess that it'd be Kratos, who leads them into Ragnarok with the spear that Brok makes for him.

Surtr and Sinmara create Ragnarok. This is depicted as a romantic embrace that causes them to meld, leading Atreus to assume that both of them are needed to be there. In the end, their love DOES create Ragnarok, but it's Surtr's sacrificing himself so Sinmara doesn't HAVE to die and the fact that they literally gave each other their hearts that does it, not a crystal gems fusion dance.

And again, people's knee-jerk reactions to the interpretations are at best a misunderstanding, and at worst actually cause the situation to happen, possibly while creating new and exciting problems in the process. Atreus and Kratos nearly have this massive rift in their relationship due to the whole "fate says Kratos is going to die" thing. Atreus trying to find Tyr to fulfill the Tyr-at-Ragnarok prophecy lets Odin right into their hideout, and arguably leads to Kratos being in the situation where he's the war god with a spear (Brok's death being a big part of the push towards them starting a war with Asgard). And Freya's helicopter parenting did cause Baldur to die a needless death (his hatred of her and inability to let that go being a big part of what gets him killed).

It is only in the circumstances where people choose to just calm the hell down and live their own lives, trusting in themselves and others rather than fretting about prophecy, that the outcomes are fairly happy. Faye not telling Kratos about his and Atreus's fates gave them that freedom for a long time. Kratos and Atreus agreeing that they make decisions for themselves mends the rift between them. Freya was right to point out that Kratos didn't have malice in his heart when he killed Baldur because it does kind of change the outcome. It means that even if he's the guy who keeps ending up in situations where he has to kill gods, he's not a monster. Which is the big important thing here in terms of his actions, his character development, everything. If he had let himself become convinced again that he was a monster, who knows where that might've taken them? Nowhere good, that's for sure!!!

It's like there's this distinction in the worldbuilding between prophecy and fate. Prophecy is set in stone, and everything we see prophesized does happen. But there's not really such a thing as fate. Just people who use past outcomes and behaviors to try and interpret prophecy. And if they don't take into account that people can change, or that they might not have all the facts, then they're inevitably going to miss what's really being shown.

[mutable-manifestation]

"So he pasted on a stoic expression and gave a simple "No.""

Here's where we differentiated because I shifted to Damian's POV and kinda forced the matter. So we could Get Damian's perspective on Danny's cover." After that was the stuff I couldn't figure out because of this spot right here! Danny's answer had to be "no" the misunderstanding doesn't sink as well if it doesn't.

The memory of tests, the pre-established no-codewords *chef's kiss* because it is always going to be safer for Danny to make contact in some other way. With invisibility and intangiblity even more so.

Closing the box cutter like that, perfect. Danny knows better than to attempt to rival Damian, especially when he's under the assumption that Damian is still acting heir. Oof I can't think of any reason getting called back wouldn't spell trouble.

I love the slight implication with the evil billionaires list and tuckers unspoken question, to me it reads like Lex has also tried to clone Phantom. Which I don't think was intended but, it tracks! He totally would!

Tim's questions, Danny looking to Damian for orders. Yes. Just yes, perfection, right there in front of my face but the question didn't even occur to me. Wonderful.

Everything that follows, YOUR TAGS they look like my notes we were on the same wavelength I swear!

Do you have plans to keep going with this? Can we collab if you do?

See I couldn't bring myself to use the Damian POV because in my mind his internal dialogue would just be. Static.

Like, yes, he's a highly trained assassin. And idk too much about batman timeline but I've seen stuff about how he's had character growth and gotten better about things over time. If he came to them at 10 and he's 16 now, that's 6 years for his personal growth. Learning to care about people again.

But outside of missions the batfam are all hot garbage and personal interaction, and I imagine Damian's had enough growth by this point to get to the "people matter to me as more than murder tools/mission tolls" idea, but without any of the understanding of how to deal without a given context.

And with Danny, the context has always been "avoid/ignore."

Danny isn't a classmate. He isn't one of his adopted brothers that he has learned how to squabble/get along with over time. And, most of all, whatever Danny might believe, he is not a League member. Which leaves Damian with no framework for how to deal with him.

Damian had/has a hard enough time getting over his League training, how does he help Danny get over his? Especially when 10 years of it would have been training he did to himself.

How does he interact with someone he was raised to hold at arms-length^2?

So I figured doing his POV would be too difficult because I couldn't think of much beyond static, panicked rambling, and several mock-conversations on how to break it to Danny that the League is gone without him going off on a suicide mission against the coup-people.

Which is kind of a shame, because you could fit a lot of angst in ala grief for Danny's seemingly emotionless state and guilt for forgetting him (which, not Damian's fault the League just sucks, but people don't stop blaming themselves for things just because they know they don't need to. Emotions be cray).

"Oof I can't think of any reason getting called back wouldn't spell trouble"

idk why but this made me think of an AU version where Damian intercepted the letter but the League actually was calling Danny back at the time (no coup), so they try to find him in Nanda Parbat only to find the (fake) dead body to the resulting tune of: Batfam Grief Rampage Time (TM). Except the League called him back because they found out what he was leaving out of his reports (about the portal & tech, not about him being a halfa) so when the batfam go to Amity to talk to the Fenton's about their "dead" son Amity is walled off w/an anti-liminal shield & armed to the teeth waiting for assassins (bc u know the whole town is in danger of being conscripted after bathing in portal radiation for so long. Call that "League of Assassins Park" at that point - sans the whole cult aspect. Unless u count the Phantom Phans).

"I love the slight implication with the evil billionaires list and tuckers unspoken question, to me it reads like Lex has also tried to clone Phantom. Which I don't think was intended but, it tracks! He totally would!"

You know that really wasn't the implication I was going for, but I could totally see Lex trying to clone Phantom. Maybe he heard about the whole overshadowing thing and was like "yo loyal clone to control the actual superman is way better than a second superman that could (did) go rogue! And this one can even be a (former) human!!!"

"Tim's questions, Danny looking to Damian for orders. Yes. Just yes, perfection, right there in front of my face but the question didn't even occur to me. Wonderful."

Am basking in the positive feedback like a lizard in the sun thanks ☀️🦎🥰 

"Do you have plans to keep going with this? Can we collab if you do?"

I thought about making a follow-up, but the stuff others tagged on kinda satisfied the brain itch for me.

But! I could totally see this turning into a fully fleshed-out fic, and I think I'd enjoy writing for it, so if you want to make it happen I'd be happy to collab :)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

dang that was cuuuuuute. Spell the Beans my beloved <3

the pairing of Duce slowly (with Frankie's frank observation skills) realizing that his mom glossed over a LOT of bullying in all her triumphant monster high stories, and then seeing Dacula being so worried about his daughter's future, him working to get where he is so Draculaura would have it easier- and how he DIDN'T accept her witchcraft at first! Because he was worried it'd make life HARDER for her!

That was a gooooooooood writing choice. Finding out how one parent did have it hard makes seeing the other one worrying about their kid just, chef's kiss.

(the implication that Mortimer the delivery dragon might have been one of Medusa's only friends at school ;_;)

(her HIDING in his den of missing things bc it was her only safe space there ;A;)

i AWWWWED out loud at the retelling of Lyra and Medusa's meet cute.... someone tripped up Medusa (again) and Lyra was there to catch her! She fell head over heels for Lyra, literally <3

(thank u monster high people for making Lyra SO bird like she got TALONS she got WING ARMS she SING TALKS i LOVE IT)

everyone trying to eat the human dad and Apollo Wolf (now THAT is a name) using.... water skiing metaphors.... to help the head monster with child raising. he's so excited to be there and he helps but oh gosh yes please get him out of there

Frankie was MVM this ep tho.

Between spear heading the search for the next talisman, accidentally helping Duce understand his mom better (and clean his room), AND coming in clutch at the end figuring out an excuse for how Toralei got her hands on witch stuff without any of the current students being a witch- Thank you, big sparkling brain bits, you did good work tonight

also love that it took to the VERY END of the ep for Toralei to stop going after Drac and finally give her and her witchery a pass.

we see what her mom is like. we see how much it's gotta be costing her, to not only "waste" her mom's time but not even have anything to show for it. ayyyyye but the character growth is slowly kicking in! Yes.

i just stared at Drac's face a lot this ep. poor ghoul was going through it most of the time, but that last ending smirk as she fakes a ghost witch was a Treat >:D

[evansbby]

Hiiii, i know ive been mia for sooo long because i havent been on this app for ages but i opened it recently and saw that you posted poyt5 and sis… when i tell you i stayed up for around an hour reading the whole thing in one go…. IT WAS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!! Literally crying shaking throwing up because ive been waiting for it to come out and i really couldnt guess what was going to happen. Let me get into this one by one please ehm okay

So the fact that omega STOOD UP FOR HERSELF!!! YES! FINALLY!!! She didn’t let Peter pull her away, she didnt let Steve gaslight her anymore, she put her foot down and demanded respect… in the most omega way but she did it and honestly it was one of the best oarts of the entire chapter. I can feel her growing out of this shell of a person to someone who knows their self worth and im so damn proud of her!!! Her accepting that she shouldn’t be treated like shit by steve or bucky or sam or her own mother and actually being smart emough to decide to not be the same as her mother and be there for her child is just *chefs kiss*.

And Steve; the way he changed over the course of a week because he has realised that his actions actually have consequences and realising he was a terrible person and facing that, accepting it and turning a new leaf?? GROWTH! Him actually protecting omega this time around instead of controlling her and rather controlling his anger?! YAAAAAAS. And his relationship with his mother omg i think what omega said about not wanting to be around had such a huge impact because of what his mother is going through as well. He couldn’t lose two of the most important women in his life 😭😭😭😭. And honestly I melted at the sexy shower scene becausee sis it got me wanting a man so damn bad you have no idea!!! And his actual proposal and the mating and the i love yous at the end 🥹🥹🥹 my heart. AND STEVE WITH HIS BABY GIRL AAAAAAAAAAAA kill me now. He’s turned into the man he always pretended to be, an even better man and though im sure he has a lot more stuff to deal with, he’s getting there and that is what matters

I really loved it and i love you for sharing this amazing story with us and let us become a little poyt book club <3 it was a perfect ending to a perfect journey and you deserve the world for giving it to us 🩷🩷🩷🩷

-🌸

HEY BABE! Thanks so much for reading and sending this in!!!

And yes! This chapter was all about the change and growth of the two main characters! Omega did stand up in her own way to all these men in her life, and Steve 1000% was affected by omega saying she wanted to die bc deep down he knew his Mom is dying too 🥺🥺🥺 he didn’t want to lose both of them 🥺🥺🥺 he needs omega so much that he’s willing to change for her🥰🥲

THANKS SM BESTIEEE

[ellasadventuresinfandoms]

Okay, back in May @isolatedphenomenon asked me if I had an les mis fic recs and I went "oh boy do I !" and then promptly fucked off and disappeared from tumblr for like 6 months...

Anyway on the off chance people are interested, here is my vastly too long list of  my favourite les mis fanfic (that I'm almost 100% sure I'll have accidentally missed some of my favourites off of...)

The vast majority of these are main pairing Enjolras/Grantaire, so I've put those first, divided into multi-chaptered and then one-shots. Below that will be other pairings!

Multi-chaptered

• Witch Boy Series : magic AU, starting with Grantaire solving Enjolras' curse - this is just Incredible world building which gets better as it goes on - my favourite is the Babet interlude

• World Ain't Ready : you know how fandoms tend to have a fic that is just associated with it ? in my experience, for les mis this is it - and well deserved ! High school, fake dating AU with some of the most engaging writing

• BE : Enjolras is dragged back into theatre production, helping Eponine put on a production of Hamlet - really love the characterisation in this, and this is really one of those modern AUs that actually feels like real life - really good writing

• After the End : the definitive apocalypse AU in my eyes - les amis are an underground resistance to the dystopian government - really wonderful characterisation of Grantaire and the amis

• You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. : I tend to find fic by scrolling through bookmarks of a pairing, which means I often see repeats; this is a fic that if I see I just re-read cause I know I'll enjoy it - the amis sparked a failed rebellion, and now 18 months later Grantaire ends up staying at Enjolras' after returning to Paris for Marius and Cosette's wedding

• Your Heart on Your Skin : Soulmate AU with flower tattoos marking important emotions and events - wonderful concept and world building 

• Impatient to Be Free : Daughters of Bilitis AU - if that doesn't make you excited I don't know what else to say to convince you (aside from saying the author is a simply wonderful writer)

• You Dance Dreams : Okay. Not to be over dramatic, but this fic did genuinely qualitatively change my life, in that it was the first thing that got me looking up contemporary ballet and now that's like one of my favourite things and big hobby So. Also its really great writing; music/creative arts school les amis with Grantaire choreohraphing the ballet for Combeferre's opera, with a heavy emphasis on Grantaire realising he really never actually got over Enjolras

• philia : this one is an absolute classic to me, but not given nearly enough recognition - one of the more realistic college AUs ever written, and the writing of Grantaire is so good because it hits the perfect balance of sympathy and annoyance about his behaviour (that's a genuine compliment) 

• Coffee Hooligans : fucking tragedy this never got properly finished, Enjolras leads the amis as social justice vigilantes and tries to hide the criminal bits of his life from R

• Fighting the Hurricane : Pacific Rim AU that's less an AU and more just placing the les mis characters in the Pacific Rim universe. Really good and riveting read, also super interesting depiction of Grantaire

• Weaving Olden Dances : Fairy AU - Grantaire "claims" Enjolras to prevent his execution - really good writing, love Grantaires characterisation 

• Paris Burning : canon era (sort of) where cities have a physical being - Grantaire is Paris and becomes entangled in Enjolras' revolution - oh the world building is truly *chefs kiss*

• Euphoria is You For Me : Enjolras and Grantaire keep meet cuting in a wonderfully written Brooklyn - feels like a love letter to Brooklyn at times, and I really like the characterisation of Grantaire 

• so please just fall in love with me this christmas : Enjolras works for the environmental company Grantaire volunteers at, and keeps getting secret gifts at Christmas - I sound a little like a broken record but the Grantaire characterisation is very good

• You Are the Moon : Wild West esque Space AU - Grantaire has to call on the amis to help rescue Valjean and Cosette, despite Grantaire leaving the amis 6 months before. On re-reading the Enjolras characterisation feels a little rushed, but overall fantastic story telling and the Grantaire arc is a Delight 

• Pandemos : Enjolras is aphrodite, and seeks peace from all his suitors in R/Hephestus' cave

• Pining for You : Hallmark christmas romance - Grantaire returns home to work on his father's tree farm, and Enjolras is the lawyer helping prevent the farm being sold - cute as shit imo

• Once We're Kings : Fantasy AU - a country hosts a ball to marry Prince Enjolras and the rival country sends Grantaire as a fuck you - one of the best ways of doing Enjolras as a prince in a fantasy and just really nicely written

• Never Bitter and All Delicious : Fairy Godmother AU - yes really, yes its genuinely a very good read

• On One Condition : Fantasy AU - Enjolras is a bored knight who finally goes to check out the local dragon, which turns out to be Grantaire - I really like how they capture Enjolras' stubborn nature and it's such a well written soft growth of love between them

• That's How Easy Love Can Be : Les Amis work at a primary school; and its secret santa time! very fun portrayal of Enjolras

• The Lark and Her Lieutenants : re write of canon where Cosette is the leader of the revolution - just *chefs kiss*

• If You Tickle Us, Do We Not Laugh : Grantaire is Enjolras' secret android - really good at writing a relationship that's incredibly loving but just keeps being antagonistic and coming off wrong 

One Shots

• True Colours : AU where you leave colours on the people important to you - Enjolras and Grantaire falling for each other is so soft and gently written its lovely, this is genuinely one of my favourites

• Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right : this one is so good to me, because it builds off my pet hatred of everyone assuming Enjolras doesn't care about (or at least actively show he cares about) his friends

• blooming : very soft post-dystopian utopia that has just a really wonderful sense of hope and light to me

• and the wall leaned away (or: The Pros and Cons of Tilling) : perfectly realised characterizations of the amis, Grantaire needs a date to her final year art exhibition - deals with anxiety over protest in a way that actually hits for me

• not just one of the crowd : R helps run a leftist bakery and bike repair shop - very cute characterisation, and I think more les mis fanfic should link to anarchist essays

• Lovesickness : Enjolras is an idiot and thinks he's sick rather than having a crush - the writing of Joly and Combeferre in this is some of my favourite depictions of these two

• If there's a rocket, tie me to it : absolutely heartbreaking sci-fi AU about the amis as doomed mecha pilots

• Where I Fall is Where I Land : Enjolras is a Roman commander as Rome's power is leaving England, and then meets the pict Grantaire (+ fun soulmark stuff !)

• You Started Foreign to Me : Enjolras moves to america and R is the overnight grocery clerk who helps her learn Spanish - cute fluffy lesbians with a wonderfully written driven Enjolras

• Love Is Touching Souls : very cute soulmate AU - and one I really love for really truly considering the implications of soul marks and creating historical lore around it

• Ten Years : R is a musician, and it non-linearly charts his relationship to Enj from high school to 10 years later

• put up with me then I'll make you see : Grantaire lives above Enjolras, and its christmas - I find it to have a very fun interpretation of pining Enjolras

• A Cat Called Trash Can : this was one of the first les mis fics I ever read (yes I know it says it was published in 2020, but I think it has to be a re-upload or something?) and it does still have a special place in my heart - Grantaire rescues a cat, but Enjolras is the only one with an apartment free to look after it 

• Still I'm Begging to Be Free : inception AU where les amis have to rescue a sleeping R from his own brain

•I'm in it for You : cw: illness, cancer - R has cancer and is being a martyr about telling his friends so Enjolras drives him back from chemo

• walls come tumbling down : sky high au - a very good high school AU with the perfect level of campy superhero powers

• This brave new world's not like yesterday : Enjolras needs a job, so ends up working in a bowling alley with Grantaire and bonding

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

• In Defiance of All Geometry : les amis are a student co-op house, Enjolras and Combeferre are pining friends and Grantaire is the newbie

• Still the Same : this is very good writing and very compelling - if you can get over the (imo) plot hole of Enjolras working for the FBI. R was an art thief Enj put away and is briefly helping the FBI out, and Combeferre is Enjolras' husband

• To Kingdom Come : cw: war and PTSD from that, Enjolras and Combeferre are part of a group of refugees that have crossed into a more fantasy land, and Grantaire is a lone traveller from that land that attempts to help - that was a shit summary of this very emotional, wonderfully written fic about war and love in all forms

• Gonna need (a spark to ignite) : I always love a twist on a classic trope, and this is a very fun take on the soulmate AU - Enjolras loses feeling in his soul mark as a child, falls in love with Grantaire and then his soulmate, Combeferre, turns up

Eponine/Cosette

• Pretty Girls Don't Know the Things That I Know : simply stunning writing - perfect example of soft writing about a harsh world

• she knows her way around : Eponine and Cosette bond, ostensibly so Eponine can find out about her for Marius, and their interactions are so playful and realistic, its wonderful

• always find me floating on oceans : Cosette stows away on Eponine's pirate ship - I do always have a soft spot for eposette fics (not just cause I ship it) because they truly characterise Cosette in a really considered and interesting way

• There's No Making Love : I'm putting this under eposette even though there is some significant enjolras/grantaire content, because the Cosette characterisation is so fun and cute

• round and round again : this fic really beautifully translates Cosette's bad childhood and then isolated teenage years, and the impact that would have on her as an adult into a modern AU

• Underwater Thunderheards : this is based off the book The Scorpio Races, and is just a really nice short fic  about longing

• How To Change The World Without Taking Power : Marius has a crush on Cosette and she's tried being polite and subtle in turning him down, so just ends up fake dating Eponine instead

• blood red fruit and poison's kiss : Snow White AU - Cosette as Snow White

• The Winters Cannot Fade Her : Snow White Au 2.0 - Eponine as Snow White - this was written as a pair to the one above which is just so cute to me

• marriage à la mode : Cosette and Eponine run a bridal shop together and it's very cute !

• Temporary Hold : I personally find this a really fun and very unique take on Cosette - with exams coming up she decides she needs to get laid on the reg and so hits up Eponine to act as if they're already long term girlfriends

Combeferre/Courfeyrac

• better than you had it : fake dating but kick it up an emotional notch - Courf and Ferre pretend to still be together after breaking up for a family event

• take flight, come near : nice and cute low fantasy, where Combeferre runs a dragon sanctuary and Courf finds an injured dragon

Rare Pairs

• The Future's Owned by You and Me : cute Enjolras/Feuilly with actual radical politics and real life organising difficulties and wins

• First Dates and Other Dangers : Combeferre and Grantaire agree to go on a blind date and it's awkward until it isn't - just cute !

• after midnight : Combeferre has insomnia and meets Grantaire in various all night fast food chains

• as you are : Bahorel and Jehan getting ready together

• Almost Romantic : Jehan works at a museum, and takes Combeferre on a little tour

• Understudy : Jehan/Combeferre, with Combeferre's insecurities regarding being seen as second best to Enjolras

• Here There Be Dragons : Courf/Enj/Ferre - Courf and Enj are superheroes and Ferre is the doctor that patches them up

• To Let it Occur (Laisser Faire la Nature) : Feuilly has a stupidly long stopover in Paris and meets Enjolras

• rule of three : Courf/Enj/Ferre as spies and loving boyfriends

• Good Rhetoric : snapshots of cute cuddly courf/enj/ferre

• subluxate, dislocate, replace : found family and chronic illness with Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

• Strike stone, strike home (like lightning) : so this fic took one minor piece of lore about Tolkien's dwarves and made a beautiful j/b/m fic from it

• Almost Inevitable : Bahorel/Feuilly friends-with-benefits

• god only knows (what I'd be without you) : Bahorel/Feuilly with a closeted Feuilly and a beautiful Feuilly and Eponine friendship

[btsqualityy]

Heaven Sent; Part 6

Jin x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Warnings: Emotional manipulation (at least, that’s what I think it would be catergorized as).

Month seven was a month of exploration. After you and Jin admitted to being attracted to each other and deciding to try things out to see what happens, you were seemingly thrown into the deep end with how open Jin became after that.

You learned that he loves to cook, and that he would’ve been a chef if he hadn’t taken over the business end of his father’s restaurants. He double majored in both business and culinary arts, and he was Hae-il’s roommate and the first person that he met during their first year. He loves trot music, and you’ve unfortunately been on the receiving end of him serenading you with a song numerous times. He also loves video games and you were willing to bet that if he didn’t have to work, then he’d been stuck behind a computer screen playing games all day. 

There was just so much more to Jin and his personality that you never knew about, and you couldn’t believe that you found yourself liking him more and more as the two of you spent more time together. 

“Uncle Jinnie, can I get the songpyeon?” Aera asked Jin from her place perched on his shoulders and you couldn’t help but to laugh at the way that she pronounced the word. The three of you had met for brunch at a little café down the block from his office, where he had been doing some work.

“Little Heart, we’ve talked about this,” Jin chuckled as he patted her feet where they swung lightly by his chin. “Just say rice cakes.”

“But I’m a big girl and that’s what the sign says!” She shot back and you smiled as you looked up at her.

“Don’t remind me,” you chuckled. “You’re growing up too fast Love.”

“Can I get them uncle Jinnie?” Aera asked again, and you and Jin could both hear the impatience that had creeped into her tone so he rapidly nodded before turning to the cashier.

“Can we have two pink lemonades, an iced Americano, a songypeon and two dasiks?” Jin ordered and the cashier nodded. Jin then reached down, pulling his wallet out of the pocket of his slacks and taking out his card, handing it to the cashier. After he got his card back, the three of you moved further down the counter so that the next person behind you could place his order.

“I hope that we didn’t pull you away from anything too important,” you spoke up as you looked at Jin. 

“Nah, I was just filling out some paper work and signing off on some things, so it was mostly procedural stuff,” he told you. “And even if it were really important, I don’t mind taking a break for you guys.”

“It’s also Saturday, so you shouldn’t be overworking yourself anyways,” you smiled gently, trying to hide the way that your cheeks had warmed up from his words. 

“Order #353,” a voice called out and you and Jin stepped up to the counter, grabbing your drinks and snacks. After finding a small table in one corner of the café, the three of you sat down, Aera perched on Jin’s lap as she ate her rice cake. 

“Did you have a good week at school Little Heart?” Jin asked her and you watched as her little eyes widened.

“Yes,” she whispered and Jin looked down at her, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“She had an issue with a boy in her class on Wednesday,” you told him and he looked up at you. 

“What happened?” He wondered.

“The little boy made a comment about Hae and Aera stomped on his foot and hit him in the stomach,” you revealed. 

“Aera,” Jin called disapprovingly and Aera’s head whipped up at the utterance of her real name from Jin. 

“It wasn’t my fault!” She exclaimed. “He said Daddy died because he doesn’t love me and I know that’s not true so I hit him!”

“Of course it’s not true sweetheart,” Jin cooed, lifting his hand and wiping away at the hot tears that had started to gather in the corners of her eyes. “Your Daddy loves you so much and he wouldn’t have left if he had the choice so that boy shouldn’t have said that. That doesn’t mean that you can just go around hitting people either though.”

“Mommy said the same thing,” Aera pouted.

“That’s because Mommy’s pretty smart,” Jin smiled. “So no more fights, ok?”

“Ok,” Aera nodded before going back to eating. 

“Thanks,” you said and Jin raised an eyebrow as he brought his cup of coffee to his mouth. 

“For what?”

“For backing me up,” you replied. “She’s always better convinced if more than one person tells her the same thing.”

“Just like Hae,” Jin laughed as he shook his head. “Anyways though, what do you guys have planned for today?”

“Me and Mommy are going to see grandma and grandpa today!” Aera interjected suddenly. 

“Your parents?” Jin asked and you shook your head.

“Hae’s,” you told you. “I think it’ll be good for her to see them, especially after what happened this week. We’re gonna go catch up and then Aera is gonna stay the night.”

“Good idea,” he agreed. “So does this mean that our regular Saturday movie night is cancelled?”

“Only this one,” Aera told him and he smiled before reaching down and tweaking her nose. 

“Good,” he said, making her giggle as you watched them fondly.

After finishing your drinks and snacks, Jin walked with you and Aera back down the block to your car. He put her inside, helping her strap herself into her booster seat before shutting the door and looking down at you.

“So, are you and me still on for our movie night?” Jin smirked and you reached out, smacking his chest lightly as you rolled your eyes. 

“You’re gross,” you giggled. “But yes, we’re still on. I’ll only stay with Aera for about an hour and then I’ll be home so you can just come over whenever.”

“Alright. I do have to finish up some stuff but I don’t think it’ll take me long at all,” he responded. “Still, I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“Ok,” you smiled and the two of you stood there in silence for a few seconds, just looking at each other. 

“Is she looking?” Jin asked and peaking your head around his arm, you saw that Aera was looking down at one of the books that you kept in the car for her.

“Nope,” you told him and suddenly, his lips were pressed against yours. You kissed him back, sighing contentedly before pulling away.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he whispered, and you nodded.

“Bye.”

......................................

“Oh, hi my baby!” Jin-joo exclaimed, leaning down so that she could catch Aera in her arms as Aera rushed up to her. You shut the car door, smiling as you walked up to the front steps of Hae-il’s parent’s house.

“Hi Y/N-ah,” Gun greeted you and you stepped forward, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before pulling back. “Is that little one’s bag?”

“Oh yeah, it has all of the things that she’ll need,” you nodded, pulling Aera’s small backpack from over your shoulder and handing it over to him.

“We still have some of her stuff here though,” Gun mentioned.

“I figured but she’s hit a growth spurt in the last two months or so,” you told him with a smile. “It seems like she outgrew every single piece of clothing that she owned all at the same time.”

“That just means you’re eating well huh?” Jin-joo smiled at Aera, who nodded rapidly in her arms. “Well, both of you come on in.” You followed behind Jin-joo and Gun, watching with a smile as they both helped Aera take off her jacket and her shoes. As you worked on taking off your own shoes and jacket, Jin-joo handed Aera off to Gun.

“Why don’t you show Aera some of the new things that we bought for her?” Jin-joo suggested and Aera’s eyes instantly lit up. 

“New toys?” She wondered excitedly.

“Why don’t we go see?” Gun chuckled, turning off and carrying Aera off down the hallway. Once they were gone, Jin-joo turned to you with a wide smile.

“Tea?” She offered.

“Please,” you nodded, following behind her into the kitchen. You sat down at the small table that was there and you watched silently as she grabbed a kettle, moving over to the sink and filling it with water before moving over to the stove. 

“How have you been getting along dear?” She asked you and you sighed lightly, thinking over your answer. 

“Honestly, I’m doing a lot better than I thought I would be after only 7 months,” you admitted. “I haven’t burst out crying in a good three weeks or so, which I consider to be progress.”

“That’s definitely good progress,” she chuckled with a soft smile as she moved to sit across the table from you. “And Aera?”

“Oh, she’s been doing amazingly,” you smiled. “Well, of course besides the incident on Wednesday.”

“I felt so bad when you called and told us about that,” Jin-joo sighed. “I bet she misses him so much.”

“She does,” you confirmed. A few seconds of silence passed over the two of you before you heard her take a deep inhale. 

“I have to say Y/N-ah, and I really hope that you don’t take extreme offense to this, but I began to think after you called Thursday,” Jin-joo began. “And I couldn’t help but to wonder if Aera acting out that way has to do with Seokjin?” Your eyes immediately widened at her words, not expecting her to say that.

“What would he have to do with that?” You questioned.

“Well, I know that she’s been spending an increased amount of time with him, with the both of you, together,” she corrected herself. “And with her being so young, I can’t help but to be concerned about what that’s doing to the memory that she has of her father.”

“Jin-joo, you’re skirting around what you really want to say, and I’d prefer if you would just say it,” you told her.

“Alright, fine,” she nodded. “In my opinion, it is much too soon or you to be moving on and seeing other men and Aera is clearly suffering from it.” You couldn’t help the chuckle that you let out then, the disbelief almost overwhelming you.

“First off, the relationship that I have with Jin isn’t anything like you’re thinking,” you said. “Secondly, you know me Jin-joo. You know I’d never do anything that would carry even the slightest risk of harming Aera in any way, shape, or form.”

“But you’re grieving, and grief can make us do things that we normally wouldn’t,” she noted.

“I can see that,” you replied tersely. 

“Look Y/N-ah, I’m only concerned about your and Aera’s well being,” she insisted. “Hae-il’s death has greatly affected all of us but more than anyone, it’s affected Aera the most. Now, I know Seokjin and I know he more than likely has the best of intentions but I don’t think it’s a good idea to allow him to get too comfortable in Aera’s life.”

“But he’s already been around since she was born,” you shot back. 

“Which makes it even worse that he’s pursuing you not even a year after her father’s death,” Jin-joo explained before exhaling harshly. “I’m going to ask you a question and I would like an honest answer.”

“Ok.”

“Did you love my son?” She asked and your jaw dropped slightly.

“Of course I did, and you know that better than anyone,” you spat harshly.

“Then for the sake of that and the sake of the wellbeing of my granddaughter, who is the only tie that any of us have to Hae-il, you should wait to involve yourself in any other relationships,” she advised you and you hated to admit it, but you really began to think about what she was saying. Things with Jin had happened very quickly and even though you had been concerned with how your relationship with him would look to others, it hadn’t been at the forefront of your mind.  

Even though you didn’t like how she approached the topic with you, you had to admit that just maybe....she had a point.

......................................

Your thoughts only began to run away with you even more after you left Hae-il’s parents house and made it back to your own. 

You never wanted your love for Hae-il to be doubted but you could understand why Jin-joo would ask you a question like that. You had been spending a lot of time with Jin but you had always justified it by saying that if he makes you and Aera happy, then there was no harm in having him around.

But did he really make Aera happy though? It seemed like he did and she definitely loved him, which no one with eyes could deny, but she was also an easily distracted 6 year old who would be happy if you gave her a sucker. You had to think about if having Jin around so much was causing her to act out or not, because maybe she felt like she was loosing touch with Hae-il and that was absolutely the last thing that you wanted. 

Once you got home, you decided that you wanted to be close to Hae-il so after taking a shower, you changed into a pair of his old jogging pants and one of his button up flannel shirts. After making yourself some ramen, you settled down with it on the couch, making sure to grab your photo album on the way. Grabbing a blanket, you pulled it over your lap and opened the photo album, choosing to look through some of the photos while you waited for your ramen to cool down. 

The very first photo you saw was from your and Hae-il’s engagement photo shoot, where he was sitting in a chair and you were standing behind him, your arms wrapped around his neck. Your engagement ring was on display, a dainty ruby rock that fit around your left ring finger perfectly. You’d always loved that ring, even sometimes favoring it over the gold wedding band that you exchanged with Hae-il a year after that engagement photo shoot. You hadn’t worn it since Hae-il died though, not being able to stomach looking at it for more than a few seconds at a time.

The next photo was of you and Hae-il on your wedding day, your eyes shining with tears as Hae-il read his vows to you at the altar. That day was amazing, the love that you were feeling for him almost overwhelming you at times throughout the ceremony. You laughed to yourself as you remembered how Hae-il almost spilled wine on your wedding dress at the reception later that night, getting slightly too tipsy on soju as he tried to whisk you around the dance floor.

As you continued to look through the photo album, you hadn’t even realized that tears had been welling up in your eyes until it rolled down your cheek and onto the photo album, splashing right onto a photo of you, Hae-il, and Aera that had been taken on her first birthday. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered. “I can’t believe that I even thought that I’d be able to do this.” As you continued to look through the album, your phone buzzed on the table and when you leaned forward to pick it up, you saw that you had a text from Jin.

“On my way out soon,” it read. “We still on for tonight?”

Biting your lip as more tears rushed down your face, you huffed harshly as you realized what it was that you needed to do. 

“No,” it stated simply. After making sure that it sent, you then turned your phone off, setting it back on the table before looking back down on the photo album. 

“I love you,” you whispered as you ran your finger over a photo of Hae-il holding a baby Aera and smiling brightly at the camera. “And I’m so sorry if I made you think that I didn’t.”

[olwolo]

C!wilbur can eat my fists for saying the syndicate is like a government, let my boys have their anti-gov book club man. And alsoo we really are on the same page, it's just so much fun! And people don't usually take funny characters seriously and that's my favorite part lmao they make the chill times and the serious times way better, literally the best of both worlds. TRAINING ARC PRIOR TO BREAK IN YES. Olwolo pls if we have that I'll here and just make a rave on ur inbox!! We are not even asking for too much u know :( and I understand what you mean 100% !! Despite cc!niki obviously saying she enjoys where she's now, I adore their interactions so much! Their canon interactions are few but so good!! I feel like c!techno knew c!niki would be a good ally since she burnt that tree down! I mean, after all he did on that day he took his time to knowledge niki's actions u know? Something she did by herself and mostly to herself. I'm too much fan of the techno-sensei stuff and man do I love to think about how strong niki can grow with techno's help while also being like... 99% at fault of that growth because she was the one that stepped away from her past and looked for the syndicate after the invitation! Techno relationship with everybody in the syndicate is just so nice because they are strong together but he isn't the only reason they are, u know? He's just a attentive character ig lolol idk if that makes sense but YEAH. The "good work, niki" and the "so, how are you feeling about this?" After tommy died and just everything about her returning to baking and stuff. They are turning to best friends you honor! We love to see! But also, headcanon that the only one that enters techno's house while he's away is niki to talk to Steve and make sure he's not mad anymore <3 the true power friendship right there!

But OLWOLO HEADCANONS MY BELOVED! I love it omg I thought I recognized the flowers from that first mumza art u posted and omg that idea!! I love the headcanon that mumza is such a nature force while still being the goddess of death! I mean, life and death walk together ig! Persephone vibes~ (which makes me want to ask u ur thoughts for niki's codename on the syndicate but anyway ahaha) And your design for Kristen is also so nice ugh I would love to hear more headcanons if u have any! The fact he notices the flowers on the forest behind his house too on his last stream 🥰 ugh I love them. The sketch of c!phil following the path is so cute,, like how intriguing it was at first for him !! And then ur last art he's like really close to her ugh man I love it 🧨

sdjkkl i took that comment more as cc!wilbur poking fun at the people saying that the syndicate is a government than a serious in character moment. and i'll gladly welcome the rave if we do get that training arc. and god i just love when moments from earlier streams end up nicely tying up with the more recent stuff! like you said c!niki telling c!techno she was the one who burned down l'mantree fits so well with why he thought to invite her to the syndicate. i rewatched the vods from the beginning a while back and seeing how things from those early storylines fit with how the characters and the story progressed when it wasn't even planned and how some things get a new context too. it's all chef's kiss. the syndicate dynamic is just so good i can't get enough of it. and aaah niki and steve content!! i love it! and i don't have too much to say about the codenames besides they fit well from what i read about the mythology lol.

and idk there's just something that fits so well in including flowers in a design for godess of death!mumza. i didn't want to make the design like too grim (though i have a few ideas for that alternative too) because that's not entirely what death is about to me so i took like a more peaceful approach i guess? with the mostly white robes and flowers? but still wanted to have that vibe of mystery and something not being quite normal so i gave her the veil and pitch black hair that can resemble a cloud of space. i don't really have more headcanons for now (unless we're talking about overall dsmp bc oh boy i feel like i have too many) but knowing my brainrot i'll come up with something new soon enough hjkl and the flowers growing in the forest gave me so much validation!!!! like i sketched the mumza design right after the forest first appeared and seeing the flowers included in canon in a way was so nice!

[sumeshi-t]

random 1AM horny thots: the boi's reaction when seeing fem!s/o get a food baby after eating too much lol

characters: oikawa and ushijima (for now; might add a few more later on 😙✌🏻)

aksjdjajh pls enjoy my midnight brain vomit. i know this ain't too good and idk if it's been done before or not but oh well, here it goes 🥵

im shy but ackck im gon tag u @seijoh 🥺 i hope u feel better and sleep well tonite

Oikawa Tooru:

you surprised your bf by going to argentina so you could celebrate his birthday together

you asked help from some of his teammates he's told you about, and they were in on the surprise.

the moment you entered the gym where they trained, he hits a powerful serve, fueled by his excitement after just seeing a glimpse of you from the corner of his eyes. he got a service ace from that, even you were sure it was over 110km/h

then this boy just runs up to you, trapping you in his embrace, your feet off the ground and spinning you around

then comes the cake his teammates got him, someone on the side was actually recording all this. he was already peppering your face with kisses and you two just looked so damn happy even the coach was smiling wtf

so anyway, you guys go out that night and eat

oikawa tells you what food he likes, and what he thinks you were gonna like and he's so spot on like he knows you so well he even brings out the 100% out of your tastebuds—

lol

you were so full from all the food, so full from the love, attention, and affection your boyfriend was showering you that you felt "drunk"

trust me that shit happens. y'know, like food coma? yeah, you ate a lot and it feels like you actually got high on sum dr*gzz

it was time to call it a night, you gave the team some japanese souvenirs as a way of thanking them, not just about tooru's bday, but also because they're taking care of your man really well 🥺

oikawa brings you back to his apartment, apologizes for not having cleaned up and you say you didn't mind because really, it wasn't that dirty or like the jungle-type madness but even then, he goes straight up to at least making the place neat for the two of you so he cleans some of his mess

there was a full body mirror on the far wall, it reflects his bed and him moving about behind you. you were checking yourself out and you ended up chuckling

you put a hand on your low back and another to rub your belly. you were wearing such a body-hugging outfit so the food baby was hella obvious

"look tooru, i'm pregante," you laugh at your own joke and continue to rub your belly

oikawa lichrally stops. and just stares. at your smiling face then down to where your hands were placed.

this boy gulps. why was he feeling so thirsty all of a sudden-?

when you didn't hear him respond, you turn to look at him and he was already making his way toward you.

he wraps his arms around you, hands on your belly. there was no music but you two were swaying to the sound of each other's heartbeats.

without a word, his lips went straight for your neck, nipping and sucking; his hot breath tickling your sensitive skin, hands busy touching you everywhere.

you see him smirk while whispering, "seeing you like that babe, it just makes me want to knock you up so bad,"

next thing you know you were both naked on the bed, facing the mirror

you were on your knees, watching yourselves as your boyfriend took you from behind, your back arched against his chest while his hand gripped on your neck and the other firm against your hickey-filled abdomen; cum was already leaking out of your abused hole you actually lost count how many times the two of you came—

this was a fulfilling kind of feeling full.

and sure enough, you were bringing home with you a different kind of surprise when you went back to japan.

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

it was The Grandma Ushijima's 80th birthday

yeah that lady who wanted to correct your boyfriend's left handedness. she's still alive n kicking

yours and ushijima's schedules were freed up for a few days to help out in the celebration and of course, you stay in the Ushijima ancestral home

yes, ancestral home. tatami mats and all. but high quality ones with silk covers and stuff.

his family didn't mind having you two sleep in the same room; bc ngl they've been wanting a great grandchild.

the sooner the better

like fuck marriage, they want to see results first.

in the three days you spent there, you notice how yours and wakatoshi's tea is different, like is that some kinda ginseng floating around there-? type of different

or how they dug up all of his cute baby pics aww, look at his cute bare bottom

i also hc wakatoshi used to thumbsucc the left thumb it b cute and adorable, you were gushing until whoever was talking to you say that they can't wait to see him have a son or a daughter

anyway, the party soon came along

wakatoshi loved it when he saw you playing with the cousins' children, and how much you just fit in with the family

if he could, he'd have gotten on his knee there to propose, though he didn't have a ring... also, he didn't want to steal the spotlight from his grandma

sometimes he wonders if you were actually a long lost relative

bc also goddamn, your cooking is *chef's kiss* top notch, michelin chef, gordon ramsay approved

and what better way to reward yourself for a job well done is to self-appreciate the craft you yourself created

needless to say, your big appetite got yourself a big food baby after dinner

thus it was now bedtime, children were now asleep, other relatives already back in their own homes

this was the last night you two were staying over

you were lying on your side, face to face with wakatoshi; you were the one mostly doing the talking, jumping from family matters to his volleyball career

then your hand idly rested on your belly, rubbing it, and then you laugh, recalling the encounter you had with some of the Ushijima elders and aunts

"toshi, they really want me to get pregnant so bad. do you think they'll stop pestering me if i show myself like this?" you pat your food baby belly and snicker

his eyes wander towards your belly and he just froze in his spot

the sight of and the prospect of you carrying his child in that body of yours just flipped a switch inside of him. he reaches for your face, eyes now locked with yours. you melt under his big, warm hand, unaware of the brewing storm of emotions your boyfriend was having

"y/n"

"hmm?"

"i think the aunts are right,"

"what...?"

"i... want you to have my child, but... do you?"

which basically translates into "i want to fuck your brains out, may i?"

consent is sexy mhhm

he's so gentle, so careful with his movements, he treats your body like a sacred temple, his every kiss a wordless declaration of worship;

this baby bear was honestly just afraid of breaking you because he knows after that night, wakatoshi jr. will be next who's going to stir up your insides to make space for its growth

you really had to beg him, "more, harder!"

you really had to taunt him, "how are you gonna make me pregnant if you don't go deeper–oh,"

wakatoshi let go of the last string of self-control he had, that your face was pushed against the tatami mat, ass in the air, your hips slapping against each other

you oh-so-tried not to make much noise, but you knew how much wakatoshi loved that

you were sure that anyone who happened to pass by that room was gonna be so embarrassed yet so elated at the huge possibility of having another member to The Ushijima clan

[ti0mumu]

okay so, having finished the Persona Trinity Soul anime, my rank of the animations for the Persona Franchise is:

1 - Persona 3: The Movie (all four of them obviously)

It’s far and beyond the most solid of them. all characters have a good personal growth, you can understand each one’s motivations (protagonist included), the final delivers it, just *chef’s kiss* all around. Also as a game about the ~power of friendship~ they also feel like friends because they are all related to the main plot so you can see them moving forwards together

2 - Persona 4 The Animation

I might be biased but I definitely think they did a good job with this one. Due to being a movie, P3 can’t give much focus to the social links which is understandable due to it being a movie, P4 on the other fully utilizes it’s given time well by making all the side characters, if not liked, at least understood. Also we got a lot of fillers that are genuinely good and help us see the main gang as just kids being kids and friends and I really enjoy it. Two downsides I wanna point out are: The protagonist feels... kinda bland? idk I love Yu and he has a lot of cool scenes but you don’t really... feel him like you do with Makoto (P3 protag). The delivery of who’s the murderer (have I mentioned that this show is about teens catching a serial killer?) also feels... weak.

3 - Persona Trinity Soul

Out of the gate I have to say that if you’re a fan of persona franchise you have to watch this series as if it weren’t a part of the persona franchise. It has a lot of similar things to it like “teens have to fight cuz adults are useless”, “man with little to no morals is fucking shit up”, “fight against god” (?), “robot waifus”, the usual but... idk it just feels different. the pace is more slow (sometimes a bit too slow) and the persona action is definitely more spaced out but... it just feels right? i guess my thoughts on the matter is just that the series is solid. not great, by most certainly not bad. the characters aren’t like other persona characters that you latch on because they’re “the bad boy that is actually a cinnamon roll” or “the artistic dumbass” or whatever but they do have their struggles and personalities if that makes sense? the final showdown is really good but I do feel like the ending was just... too vague about everyone’s future but still.

4 - Persona 5 The Animation

*sigh* If I am very biased towards P4, I’m also very biased towards P5 but in the opposite direction. So before I start chewing it now like a rabid dog, my positive thoughts on the series: The “mini bosses” are actually very engaging to watch cuz is more engaging to watch an abusive jerk being kicked in the ass than it is to see a fight against... some weird tarot concept or the embodiement of someone’s fears y’know? also some points in the game look better done in the anime than in game.... AS for the bad points: There’s no real filler episode? these guys live and breath being phantom thieves??? their beach episode (both of them) we see them talking about phantom thief stuff and while, yes I don’t expect them to drop the plot completely I just... missed the feeling of persona 4 of “kids being kids”, which also stunts their growth as a group because... I don’t really buy it how they see each other as friends, a fact that is even worse for the side characters like there’s a couple of cameos of the goth doctor lady but she.. doesn’t do anything? Iwai only is shown being grump like, if I didn’t knew how they are in game I would be like “who the fuck are those bitches? why they appear on the oppening? why they are given some spotlight at the final battle?” because they are just that? random people that really don’t interact much or at all with the main character, much less the plot. speaking of main character he’s another dissapointment to me cuz his only trait is being “oh so cool” like.... the later fights seem to be only the protagonist’s merit which makes the whole ~power of friendship~ thing even worse I... I guess that the better way to say it is that the series has a sprinting start and then trips middle way through and don’t really gets back up.

Last but not least:

Unranked - Persona 4 The GOLDEN Animation

Didn’t watched yet, can’t say nothing lol. I assume is P4A but slightly to the left?

So yeah, that’s my thoughts on the matter! Don’t forget to like and subscribe and hit the notification bell

[bwaldorf]

If you're still doing "send me a character", Jiang Cheng or Nie Huaisang 😁

yes, i absolutely am! 😁 thank you, kendra 💕 

> JIANG CHENG

how i feel about this character

it was definitely ... a Journey with jiang cheng, as you well know. it’s partly bc of how he’s initially set up in the plot at the beginning vs then going back in the past and coming to understand his character more. i really started appreciating and loving him more in my 2nd rewatch. so while i’m still signing this man up for necessary therapy, i really appreciate the depth his character has and how despite his issues, he’s a good person who just can’t always show it super well hhhh

all the people i ship romantically with this character

huaisang .. idk when sangcheng grew on me this much but i actually really like them! they’d be a very cute couple

xichen .. im not HUGE on this ship. it’s a solid good one, but i’m not very personally attached to it

my non-romantic otp for this character

wei wuxian ... something about their bond specifically (in cql esp) REALLY gets my heart. they really deserved better, even though things didn’t end off terribly

yanli .. bc the yunmeng trio is actually something that can be so personal

huaisang ... even without looking at their dynamic through a shipping lens, they have such a fun friendship and i wish they interacted more in the present timeline </3

my unpopular opinion about this character

no idea if it’s unpopular but i honestly think cql’s jiang cheng is the best. (which is funny bc i used to really have a bone to pick with him in my first watch .. i still do but it’s different. more out of love than before) in my opinion (thus far anyways, since im still reading the novel) it’s the most nuanced depiction of his character. still lov him in the donghua and what i’ve read of the novel so far but cql jiang cheng is just .. chefs kiss. i just really love how you can tell despite his anger, he really really cares about his loved ones

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

a better reconciliation with wwx at the end :( it was really melancholic and im glad they got to Kinda talk things out but i wish it was different, even if him and wwx couldn’t be the twin heroes of yunmeng in the way that they originally envisioned

we talked about this, but it’d have been very amusing to me to see him on those blind-dates mxtx mentioned bc i wanna see why this man is flopping in his love life so bad

also would’ve loved to see jiang cheng (and lwj tbh) post-wwx death. in mdzs and/or cql, it just would’ve been heartwrenching but kinda touching to see him coming to terms with his part in that and also what led up to him keeping chenqing

im also curious as to whether or not he actually tortured people who practiced demonic cultivation or not. bc i remember seeing an interesting post on here once about how maybe he didn’t and it was kinda his way of trying to find out if wwx was still alive </3 

> NIE HUAISANG

how i feel about this character

absolutely loved huaisang from the jump! he’s an absolute sweetheart and such a good, loyal friend. i care him 🥺 i’d have loved him a lot just as he was but then seeing who he became post-nmj’s death .. golly! i think it just added a lot to the character that i really enjoy. his character development is an underrated one i think about a lot

all the people i ship romantically with this character

jiang cheng ... for the reasons mentioned above! friends to lovers is always a good, solid dynamic

wwx ... i don’t actively ship those two but i think if lwj wasn’t in the picture, i could’ve absolutely seen these two together maybe? 

my non-romantic otp for this character

nie mingjue ... i really enjoy their bond! (still gotta see the fatal journey which i know’ll probably solidify this for me even more) though nmj’s a lot stricter with him in mdzs, they really do have such a nice dynamic. nmj cares about him so much T_T and despite him being intimidated, i know nhs respects him a lot too

wwx .... YEP! y’all get it, im sure & i don’t need to explain. but i truly truly love those two a lot and the slight growth we see in their dynamic as well in the present. i.e. that fan scene where wwx genuinely compliments his interests rather than poking fun at it like he did in the past :’)

jiang cheng .. bc friendship <3 u get it and im too lazy to write more

meng yao ... now ... don’t persecute me. and this is very cql-centric but they were like brothers :( and even in mdzs, you can tell meng yao did care about him in his own way before shit went sideways. ofc #nhswasright at the end though but it’s just sad to think about what a better dynamic it could’ve been if things had been different

my unpopular opinion about this character

erm .. i don’t really have one! i just would like everyone to remember that despite him being silly and a bit stupid (complimentary) sometimes, he’s also super smart and perceptive. even if it isn’t always Book Smart, he’s still a very capable character. like ............. in terms of interpersonal perceptibility (idk if that makes sense, if not just roll with it), i think he’s quite comparable to wwx

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

would’ve been obsessed to see more of his #Plotting both during the plot of the present as well as in the years of wwx’s death. like i would’ve loved to see him really setting the gears into motion as well as figuring out jgy’s role in everything. like i think i just would’ve really loved to see WAY more from his pov. i get why we didn’t in cql/mdzs but god am i obsessed with seeing smart characters work

would’ve also been really into seeing him with his saber. not using it necessarily (though him trying to practice with nmj overseeing it would’ve also been neat) but having him grapple with the complicated nature of the nie clan cultivation would’ve been very cool

i love how a lot of this is just .. i wanna know how nhs’s mind works more. like the scene with jgy’s hat at the end of cql, i’d have been superrr into what he does post-canon. in mdzs i believe it seems like he was maybe vying for the chief cultivator position and i think it’s doable in cql too so I Would Like To See It

some of this stuff is probably covered in fatal journey so im very excited for that

also .. am curious as to whether nhs’s position as clan leader would’ve changed post-canon. like would he have shown how capable he is or let people still think he was just a pushover 

oh ALSO one more thing . where is nhs’s bird ... i think we all would like an update 

send me a character? ✨

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

for the character ask: futaba sakura? (if she's already been asked, then you can choose whoever!!)

Send me a character and I’ll talk a bit about them!

Hi! Yes excellent, Futaba is a fantastic choice! I have not gotten her yet, I don’t get a lot of asks, probably because it takes me forever to actually answer them. Anyways! Like last time, under a cut cause I am A Wordy Bitch and this is gonna be long.

do I like them:

Bro, I fuckin’ adore Futaba. That’s my little sister. (First playthrough of P5 I sibling-zoned so many of the characters the protag could have romanced. Ann? That’s my sister. Sumi? Sister, which made That One Fight really, uh, well not fun, but. Yeah. Makoto? Definitely sister.) She’s fantastic, she’s relatable, she’s adorable, how could I not love her?

5 good qualities:

1) I shall reiterate: relatable. I may not know computers, but I do know not being able to hold a conversation unless it is in the Realm of Interests.

2) Ballsy. I knew from the first playthrough going in completely blind (and therefor not knowing What All Was Up With Akechi), when she grabbed Akechi’s phone, she was bugging that fuckin’ thing. Because that was not her usual behavior, outside of the lobsters moment at the beach or when she’s hiding behind the protag, she’s not the kind of person who gets in another person’s bubble, especially not a shady stranger, even if he’s got the fanciest phone on the goddamn planet. So going for that lie with a fuckin’ detective was just. -chef’s kiss- Futaba maxed her fuckin’ Guts stat and that needs to be talked about more.

3) Her little laugh. Nyehehe.

4) Girl just casually became the most notorious white hat hacker on the planet to help people and expose corruption on her own. Just doing good with what she had. Four for you, Glen Coco Medjed Alibaba.

5) Respect to her working with Akechi in 3rd semester despite everything they’ve learned. Doing it not only for the greater good, but also for the chance to roast him during Mementos conversations. It’s great, she’s great.

3 bad qualities:

1) Hacked a military base just to see if she could??? Okay to be fair this could also go on the good qualities list but also that feels like an unnecessary risk considering the line of business she’s in?

2) Can’t swim. We took you to a beach, why didn’t you say anything? We could have taught you!

3) Won’t tell Yusuke where she got her mask. It’s a cool mask, let him have one of his own. Actually maybe it’s for the best, better to not let him make the choice between that and food and set off my Inner Grandma.

favourite episode/etc:

Okay, I say this as someone who would sell their kidney for a mod that lets us be nicer to Mishima, but I about died when she obliterated that boy from orbit by calling him an NPC after he asks if she has a dirty streaming channel and says ‘kek’ out loud. I loved that bit and look forward to it every playthrough.

otp:

I mentioned on the Sumi answer that I adore Sumitaba. Also Kana is never seen in her social link but Futaba/Kana.

brotp:

Shutaba, but specifically in an “Autistic Siblings Just Vibing” sort of way where he’s never shamed her for her mask, he’s got his own that he’s just sneaky about, those glasses ain’t prescription. But also, like with Sumi and Ryuji, just give her all the friends.

ot3:

Futaba/Real Food/A Better Sleep Schedule

notp:

Much like most of the P5 cast, I don’t have a hard notp for her (barring that which is overtly gross, she’s 15). I personally read her dynamic with the protag as more sibling, but that’s in part cause I’m An Older Sibling and will adopt anything that moves. I’ve still read some good shutaba stuff, even if it’s not something I’ll seek out myself. Same with Yutaba, bickering doesn’t necessarily equate romantic chemistry, but I’ve still enjoyed stuff that paired them.

best quote:

"My whole world is expanding. Every day brings new and different discoveries. The direction of Sojiro's cowlick, the atmosphere of Yongen, the various types of coffee beans... Things might be the exact same as they were yesterday, but from my perspective, it's all spinning." Bro, the growth...

head canon:

Futaba is the autistic bicon we need and deserve.

[forestgreenlesbian]

ook i am just going to dump my thoughts!

think i was like? semi worried because she kept talking about how different this album was going to be from stranger and i love stranger i love her soft acoustic stuff so i was a little nervous it would be so different that i wouldn’t like it but literally i’m a whole idiot because it’s like stranger but with the production turned up to ten.. think i might actually call it a perfect album??? like perfect for me subjectively i really love every single song i’ve been having a breakdown for three days straight... feels sort of like a bon iver esque transition from soft folk to more varied instrumentation and production like the growth between for emma and 22 a million but even better... glad i listened to the leak because i actually have to get shit done today and i would not have been able to hear it for the first time fdkggmn

ok les go love dvd menu as an intro yes i am a sucker for instrumental tracks + that interview where phoebe said she’d love to do a whole instrumental album and have it as a score for a film like portrait of a lady on fire.... christ....and the transition into garden song is like chefs kiss i loved garden song as soon as it was out as a single so moody and beautiful she told me my resentments getting smaller i know i know

kyoto god god i love how she leaned into the pop aspects also stare at the chem trails with my little brother literally any time she mentions jackson i have a stroke older sister complex etc etc and the little woo sound she kept in there i’m? in love with her?

punisher is just. makes me feel a bit like i have a hole in my chest lol such a well balanced and moving tribute to elliott who i’m ngl i was never that into but just the whole concept and the chorus and the feeling like you owe this person something for inspiring you so much but at the same time never wanting to actually meet them

i was a lil eh about halloween at first i think mayb because the verse is not my fave even tho the lyrics are as usual incredible but the chorus is just so sweet like i want to cry lol and the guitar that is mr christain lee lose this number hutchinson at work babey! conor’s feature is nice tho in some ways i’m a bit like did he really add anything to the song love the outro though the way the tune goes off as it fades

CHINESE SATELLITE............ might b my fave currently... it’s the strings fucking hell it is the STRINGS that was the first song i listened to because somehow i just knew it was going to gut me and i was right i can’t stop listening to it. the lyrics are just.. too much.. pretending to be myself... i wish i wrote it but i didn’t so i learn the words.. i look at the sky and i feel nothing... i believe when you’re gone it’s forever... like WHAT am i supposed to do with that????? i know she talked about how this song originally had like a big U2 esque chorus lol and how they pared it back and i’m so glad because the impact of the verses and then the softer chorus is just. a lot it’s a lot i told you this was the scott street of punisher because every second makes me go insane ngfmfng

ok getting onto the songs clearly about c*nor lmao i don’t rlly want to focus on that glad that he was there to provide inspo for such ART but the whole situation makes me feel weird don’t know why but we are not dwelling! i heard her play moon song on one of her livestreams and i was like. already in love but the studio version is so good... the lyrics again she’s just so like unabashed in how she loves and how it can be ugly and hard and beautiful at the same time... and the dig at eric claption just because she hates him.. queen!

god savior complex apparently she wrote the melody in a dream???? jesus christ anyway i feel like it calls back to stranger in such a nice way and also has such a nice sense of place like we are in that car! we are there in that one room apartment! i know she said it’s about loving someone who hates themselves (so [redacted] then, we all know ms phoebe) which is a lot but it also feels a bit like a lullaby to me so soft

i see you.......... one that grew on me until i literally couldn’t think about anything else when i heard it as a single i was like ok yes! fun! great! but the more i listened to it and after i heard the demo i just lost my mind every time i think about “i used to light you up, now i can’t even get you to play the drums” i go insane it’s scott street again god bless marshall vore and his drums! damn! also the way she sings i’ll climb through the window again.. feels like a throat punch

can’t even type graceland too without wanting to cry how is this song so beautiful think it might be my fave after chinese satellite it is just. the most beautiful thing how many times am i gonna use that word a lot apparently but again the sense of place is there and it just feels like? such a healing moment after all the previous songs. especially with lucy and julien on there like! the harmonies!! ladies!!! there’s something almost fleetwood mac about it as well it makes me think of silver springs and obviously the dixie chicks influence basically it’s perfect send post

i know the end is SUCH  a good closer.. the screaming alone.. i knew we were going to be blessed with some yelling thank you ms bridgers also the strings in this one too i love a violin apparently fuck me and god it gives me such sufjan vibes circa illinois era like esp the outro with everyone singing together and the horns and where she takes the melody... think she mentioned suf actually in that stereogum interview i’m really imploding.... and the end with her soft screaming and the cough i’m. i love how it feels like two parts interwoven like a lot of my fave songs do and the way it BUILDS man that whole section makes me want to lie on the ground and wait for the end... when the drums kick in....the sound effect when she sings about lightening.... when everyone joins in on the end is here.... the way the tone changes for the outro with the screaming.... ok this is long i should stop but basically congrats on a perfect album phoebe i’ll never recover! :~)

[wexhappyxfew]

HAPPY TRIVIA TUESDAY SHANNON!! Why did you start writing and how did you get from your starting point to here? (Like- basically can you talk about your development as a writer?)

AHHHHH JAMIE HAPPY TRIVIA TUESDAY!!!! and omg thank you so much for the ask you wonderful human, you’re such a supportive bean thank you!!! <3 

and these questions *chef’s kiss*

One of the main reasons I started writing is actually something people may not suspect. Growing up, I actually HATED writing because of experiences in a 3rd grade or 2nd grade class - I can’t remember exactly. But we were supposed to write a short story and when I presented mine, I was told that it didn’t have good enough ‘context’ or a real drive or plot, even though for me I thought it did. Supposedly it just ‘wasn’t what the hopes of writing a short story would be’. I was later told it was because I needed a simpler topic. Smh. So that set me off really and all through elementary I strayed from writing, writing classes, anything and I mostly just read because I was like just not confident at all with writing. And I struggled big time with essays, reports, story writing. In 6th grade, my ELA teacher tore apart my story as well - so yeah I wasn’t exactly happy about that either :( I was already off on a bad foot. 

But when I reached 7th grade - this was after my best friend introduced me to Wattpad and such - I started seeing the impacts of fanfiction actually and that you can base it off something and then make it completely your own! WHICH I LOVED! Because I like a bit of structure BUT THEN I LIKE GOING WILD!!! I like having that model a bit, but then being able to go and do what you want with writing. 

And honestly, I’ll be honest, I have written over 20 different works, but Band of Brothers is my only published work :) It’s short stories, other fics based on stuff like Stars Wars, The Maze Runner, etc...a bunch of stuff like that! 

And then I really discovered the impact of writing on me. I found that it became a hobby for me and I knew that when homework was done - I had the ability to go and write and escape to a completely different world. And for me, since I have trouble focusing in school and then it makes stuff more difficult to complete homework and such, I liked being able to escape to a different world through writing. And writing saved me more than anything in quarantine.

At the beginning of quarantine, I just was not in a good headspace especially with everything happening, but being able to go and write The Soldier of Stars with Hazel Parker, and being able to develop a deeply flawed character and write interactions with others, and then go and write a strong female bonded friendship as well as strong female characters who were also deeply flawed, really helped me through because it was rough. I don’t know what I would’ve done without it. 

But writing truly, I saw a change in myself even in school. Because of writing fanfiction really, I saw improvements in my essays at school surprisingly by 8th grade! They were used for examples, I was getting good grades on them - even if it were just a science report - and the teachers were complimenting my way of writing and my style. I remember in 8th grade I was partnered with a girl, where we were given 10 vocab words and had to create a story with it and we would share our stories with each other and I remember looking at me after I read it and saying, “ YOU wrote that? ITS AMAZING!” and she was just super shocked. And I think that’s where I really started writing after that tbh. 

Through high school I had major improvements and by my AP Lang Exam I took, I was nervous bc it was 45 mins for it, which isn’t exactly normal bc of COVID, but I was just like “Focus, you write FOR FUN for HOURS ON END, you can write for 45 minutes.” And that really focused me. And I got a 5 on the exam, which I was very happy about. But I swear it’s simply because of how much I write, and how OCD I am about making sure it is all perfect and up to my standards. I swear on it. Because with my writing, I like a flow and I feel if you don’t have a flow it just doesn’t work - and having a flow helped me AP exam bc without it, I would’ve done worse. But flow helps and being able to write with a flow helped more than anything! SO YES fanfiction helped earn me a good grade on my AP exam LOL

And for me writing has just been a place to express who I am. Sure, I like clothes, but most of the time for school, I’m too tired to try super hard and end up throwing on a sweatshirt and leggings and I’m not super talkative either, I’m quite shy. So writing, is where I really feel I can express myself and just BE myself. I can purely just write for fun and if people read it COOL! THANK YOU! But I’ve always written for myself, for personal enjoyment, and to see my characters, so when others love them, it’s always so nice!!! But writing has always been such a personal thing for me, and I love it more than anything in the world, where I feel I can truly express myself! <3

AND...my development as a writer is something I can definitely talk about!! <3

For me, each new story I write, I can see myself developing. Because when you start out, you’re not perfect - I SOOOO was not perfect - I wrote in 1st person (NO HATE AT ALL I JUST SUCK AT FIRST PERSON), I barely included any emotional value or ideas focused simply on timeline, I just wrote without second thought or really a care. But with Band of Brothers, I really developed. I write in 3rd person heavily, so I can explore different heads and emotions and character arcs, and ideas and interior monologue, which for a quiet person like me I LIVE FOR!

For Sunshine Soldier, I wrote with Charlotte Tarvers and developing her character, as she is someone who is very similar to myself, is something I have loved more than anything in this world. She’s my OG OC, my original little BoB Beeb. And her story I really focused on relationships and friendships of characters, simply because of what I was trying to portray with her of the fact she was a character who was called ‘Sunshine’ and loved everyone and was loved by everyone and was really that light in Easy. But in that story, I didn’t develop emotions (as I go back and reread) and descriptions as much as I wish I had. I feel there’s parts EVERYWHERE, where I could go in and add a little bit more of everything there

For The Soldier of Stars (+Ad Astra Per Aspera) I feel you see A BIG CHANGE in writing because this is where, with a quiet character like Hazel Parker who is heavily and deeply flaws, where we see the emotion and description that Sunshine Soldier misses at some points, comes out. Writing Hazel’s character (+that of Catherine and Lizzie and their bond) we focus more on an internal monologue, heavy and deep set emotions, and a constant questioning of reality from someone who is deeply hurt, and quiet and humble and soft-spoken like Hazel. And for me, there’s just so many lines in The Solider of Stars that I love with all my heart, because there are so filled with emotion and deep meaning and such and ACK I LOVE IT! One of my favorites is from Ad Astra Per Aspera - Chapter 4: The Little Bird, where all it is, is Hazel’s interior monologue after her wound. Her struggle and mental battle to simply stand and use the bathroom normally - from bed to bathroom and back. And there’s no present dialogue - very in character for Hazel, and simply just flashbacks and her mental mind having it’s own battle with having to constantly push herself to get over this fear and keep pushing herself to get better, to keep fighting. It’s a hard chapter, but so deeply beautiful of a raw struggle of simply being human.

And I feel with The Soldier of Stars (+Ad Astra) I felt myself simply just write with so much pure and raw emotion, which I held from Sunshine Solider a bit, even though Sunshine Soldier has A LOT I feel still LOL. But I definitely saw growth between these two stories, a whole lot, and I feel as I keep going I’ll just keep growing and growing with it all.

I feel with The Soldier of Stars (+Ad Astra ) I finally took the time and care to focus on my characters, and each of them individually, and really focus on emotions and feelings, which is something present in war for many and especially having a quiet character makes it easier I feel because they don’t say much but they FEEL so much. 

I would talk about Landslide - but I don’t want to get out of hand and spoil anything, so I’ll leave it at that for the moment <3 

I’ve just truly seen myself really develop and grow as any writer would and it has been so fun to see where my writing has taken me!! Thank you so much for the question Jamie, this was truly SUCH a good one to ask, because I can tell just a bit of my own story and personal struggle with it all. Thank you!!! <3

[vaguely-concerned]

empire of ivory here we go!

previous temeraire let’s read here

- um excuuuuse me I have waited two books for us to come back home to britain to see everyone again and now everything is awful and shitty and scary and my fave is leaving and nothing’s how it should be??? no??? this is unfair??????

- tharkay NO please don’t go everything provably goes to hell whenever you leave D:D:D:

(to be fair to him I guess it’s understandable to want some time alone to process the absolute outrageous bullshit he just pulled for a guy he’s known for like four months)

he used his page time well tho; instantly convincing roland of his worth and making her laugh... giving laurence his cup of tea b/c he looked like he needed it more... telling laurence that he’s leaving because he promised to do that much at least... truly the best boy, off to fetch more dragons apparently because it wasn’t quite crazy enough the first time

- god I love jane roland, I’m so glad my two faves got along instantly, between them they could... maybe protect laurence from himself? at least a little??? I can but dream

- I think this is the most emotionally invested I’ve been in a piece of media since that time I spent a few months completely incoherent over uncharted, and naughty dog very kindly held my heart in their hands and chose to be gentle with it in the end but I am not so sure that is how it’s going to be for this series and I am Not Prepared for the suffering

- I love whenever laurence thinks uncomfortably about one of the various and sundry atrocities committed by the government he’s still pledged all his loyalty to. yes william maybe the british empire... is in fact not good and has enough blood on their hands to dye the ocean red. I can’t wait until he connects the dots here (and presumably has a pretty intense crisis if faith about it because it seems like one of the loadbearing structures of his character... actually no wait I’m not ready to see this D:D:D:)

- the little details like the fact that he just calls bb!roland ‘emily’ and harcourt becomes ‘catherine’ so easily in his narration now are so so sweet  

- lord allendale is one of those dudes who have good politics but is a shitheel to his family and I want to smack him

laurence being the mortified poster boy of this party, though? priceless, imagine coming up with a protagonist this effortlessly involuntarily hilarious, it’s the mark of true genius

- I don’t usually quibble over things like this, but I think the edit for this fourth book specifically is a bit lacking? I’ve come across a lot of mistakes even my dumb ass can pick up on already, and I’m only a hundred pages or so in

- caught between crying and cackling at this part b/c like laurence I’m  d e v a s t a t e d  at the thought of temeraire getting sick but also temeraire is just like cheerfully getting laid the whole time

also how did none of the aviators think to give laurence The Talk about giving his dragon The Talk, you all know what he’s like

- oh thank god

- I have spent half of today crying about dragons coughing, how are you this fine evening good reader

- btw this series fills a hole in my soul left by jkr giving me all those tantalizing hints of different types of dragons in ‘fantastic beasts’ and never following up on it

- tharkay may not be here but laurence just mentioned him like once in his narration so let’s take the excuse to reminisce about the good old days (when tharkay was here)... remember that time when the one of his own jokes he laughed openly at was about lawyers and laurence frankly should have responded better b/c it was kind of funny and sadly temeraire doesn’t have the worldly experience to know it yet.... aaah precious, he truly is a sardonic blessing to my heart and deserves the world

okay back to our regularly scheduled content   

- riley why u gotta b such a bitch about this

(I love how laurence is constantly doubting himself over this tho, as if he’s done something wrong in this situation... like honey baby if there’s one thing worth breaking a friendship over it’s probably them being cool with slavery lol. it shows how much laurence has grown, considering that this disagreement has always existed between them but he used to be willing to just overlook it... I’m so proud of you laurence)

also lol @ berkely coming in to tell them everyone can hear them, I have a desperately soft spot for him and maximus. just the image of both of them turning to him ‘united in appalled indignation’ like ‘excuse you???’ and him giving exactly zero fucks... *chef kiss emoji*

- most important information revealed in this book: a) dragons are not widely considered to have committed original sin, thank you reverend erasmus and b) laurence has taken time out of his day at some point to worry about it b/c he’s a dork

(this is the sort of world building I am hopelessly weak to lol)

- gong su tricking temeraire into eating in the most melodramatic way possible... god bless you chef

- fkjhsadkjfhsdkjalhfaskjldhf laurence judging chenery for what he’s wearing while going out into the jungle in full uniform hat included himself... I caaaaan’t

- demane has only appeared on three pages so far but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this book and then myself

- ‘average dragon speaks one million languages’ factoid actualy statistical error. Temeraire Linguist Georg, who wants a pavilion thank you very much & learns over 10,000 languages each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted <3<3<3

(I love that temeraire is like... a nerd dragon with a hopelessly jock captain)

- laurence effortlessly rating the relative hotness of the other male aviators to try to suss out who harcourt has slept with fjsaldfhsdkljafh do you ever hear yourself think william

like this is the thing about him it’s so easy to headcanon him as bi b/c he can be so mindbogglingly oblivious it’s entirely possible he literally wouldn’t even have noticed until someone smacked him over the head with it

- see I’m very happy they found the cure but I don’t fucking trust it b/c the pattern of these books tends to be to give you one moment of ‘oh phew everything is going to be okay’ about 2/3 into the story and THEN everything goes to hell and fifty pages later laurence is dissociating and napoleon has conquered prussia 

- THERE WE GO RIGHT ON SCHEDULE

temeraire is never going to let laurence go anywhere without him again and rightly so

- hasn’t mrs erasmus been through enough. can’t she just be allowed to chill 

- this is really cool world building but I’m too stressed out to appreciate it

really enjoy the description of architecture tho this sounds so awesome

- sfahdfklsahdfksjda laurence making sure his clothes are as washed and presentable as possible... I can’t with you you beautiful idiot

- TEMERAIRE OH MY GOD IS HE HERE IS LAURENCE HALLUCINATING PLS SAY HE’S ACTUALLY HERE

- ...well I mean if anyone has a freudian excuse for being kind of dickish I guess it would be these guys? it’s actually pretty chill of them to only flog one of them (laurence, because he just can’t play it any way but stupid lawful good at every turn) and not just killing them all I guess, they kept them fed and stuff

- oh thank god

- temeraire you are the most darling dragon boy and I love you

I was really really worried for a moment there that the reference to the Colosseum was a not-so-subtle hint they would have to gladiator fight to the death but thankfully they were basically just calling in a parliament

- DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STAB A CHILD IN THE STOMACH?? I HOPE HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE DICK AND DIES pls say demane is going to be okay

- aw okay finally something good for mrs erasmus I will take it

- laurence you useless fool of a narrator is demane okay?? 

- god roland is just so cool naomi novik really gave us a jovial butch silver fox aviator lady huh... she did that for us and I for one am full of gratitude

- oh thank GOD (hm I sense a running theme here lol) the kid is going to be okay I can breathe again

- iskierka the pirate captain + temeraire’s reaction... perfect

- ;____________; I would lay down my life for temeraire and also that’s a gutpunch of a moodswing... the perfect hilarity of ‘that is an ugly hill’ immediately followed by That... jesus

- awww every time volly shows up again is a joy (temrer!!!)

- laurence... laurence you need to stop asking people to marry you because you never actually really fucking mean it!!!!! have you learned nothing about yourself since book 1, trust your goddamn instincts for once in your life you and roland have been doing perfectly okay thus far as like... affectionate fuckbuddies right? 

(her reaction was priceless tho god bless)

- aaaah there we go the british government is looking more like itself... welcome to the world of realpolitik laurence I’m really sorry :(

- “It is only dragons, you know” JANE ROLAND WTF DID YOU JUST SAY

- “This government is not of my party; my king is ill and mad; but still I am his subject. You have sworn no oath, but I have.” He paused. “I have given my word.”

:) this is... fine

(like. I know this is necessary character growth and he’s basically been a waste of a good man in service to a government like this the whole time and the writing’s been on the wall since book 1 but I don’t want this to be happening to hiiiiim)

- tfw... ur dragon boi is so good... that being anything less than good for him in turn is unthinkable...................... b o i

- ...jane doesn’t really know him very well if she didn’t see this coming from a mile off tho does she

I mean I guess she has other stuff to think about but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone

- remember when he thought the entire corps was weird and now he’s finally at home there... and has to leave it behind :):):) super extra fine is what this is

- yeah okay laurence definitely has a crush on ol’ bonaparte noting that down lol he’s all but blushing after that kiss on the cheek 

also... if you just overlook the dictator thing for a moment is napoleon wrong about what he’s saying tho. (no and not even laurence is prepared to say so he’s just going to go back there and get murdered anyway b/c idk lawful good is dumb as fuck sometimes I guess)

It’s really cool how the author shows that napoleon has a better handle on laurence’s psychology after barely meeting him than a lot of people he’s known for years now, though, really adds to his menace and appeal as a character

- wow uh that’s one way to end a book... it’s actually tipped over from tragedy into a strange sort of hilarity for me now: he literally got sued out of his life’s earnings for being a decent human being, committed treason for the same reason and is about to be hanged for thinking genocide might have been a step too far -- in the span of thirty pages. I believe ‘that escalated quickly’ is not too much of an exaggeration here

- SIPHO IS GONNA WRITE BOOKS ONE DAY YOU GUYS!!!! I PROUDLY WELCOME OUR SECOND NERD TO THE CREW

 - I think this one might be my least favorite so far? not that I disliked it, it’s just the one that’s hit the worst by the fact that there’s not always that much time spent with the cultures central to the book; tswana seems really interesting but because of the way the plot played out and our limited perspective though laurence it just didn’t work for me? the cool shit comes in sipho’s book at the end, like how thoroughly they kicked the europeans out of the coast of africa, which is very cathartic (I will say that most of the second book being set on the ship and then only a sliver of it is actually in china annoyed me too haha) 

I have the distinct feeling this book is setting up for some Misery and breaking of the pattern a bit in the next one though, which will be interesting! ONWARDS TO MORE PAIN AND LAURENCE IS ALREADY PASSIVELY SUICIDAL FROM THE OUTSET SO LIKE... I’M SURE THIS WILL BE REAL FUN :)

maybe my boy will be back tho? silver linings silver linings clinging to some silver linings

[peppersjam]

My Top 10 Albums of 2018

In March of 2018, Spotify released the “Smirnoff Equalizer,” a web app that analyzed the percentage of Spotify listens by non-male artists. My results were embarrassingly dude, so I decided that I needed to devote more of my ear-hours to female artists. Thanks, Smirnoff!

The results of this initiative aren’t perfectly reflected in my top 10 list because I devoted a lot of spins to albums that didn’t come out in 2018 (in an attempt to correct my blind spot). Key new-to-me non-2018 albums:

Phoebe Bridgers - "Stranger in the Alps" (2017) (My Jam: Motion Sickness)

Waxahatchee - "Ivy Trip" (2015) and "Out in the Storm" (2017) (My Jam: Recite Remorse)

Carly Rae Jepsen - "E•MO•TION" (2015) (My Jam: When I Needed You) and "Cut To The Feeling" (2017) (on repeat, forever)

Charli XCX - "Pop 2" (2017) (My Jam: Out of My Head)

Paramore - "Riot!" (2007) (My Jam: Misery Business, duh)

But, time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking, into the future, so I have to talk about how I did with last year's list, and move on to this year's releases.

So, what's still in my current rotation from my 2017 top 10? More than half of them: Sleep Well Beast, Turn Out the Lights, Flower Boy, Ctrl, Melodrama, and DAMN. And, of couse, the Frank Ocean singles.

Runners up:

Kendrick Lamar et al. - "Black Panther: The Album" (so, so close to cracking my top 10. Sets a new standard for pop/hip-hop soundtracks. This decade's O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack? Does that make any sense at all?)

BROCKHAMPTON - "Iridescence" (I had BROCKHAMPTON's "Saturation" trilogy on repeat this year, but their new one didn't quite do it for me. I think they're still trying to figure out how to be their best musical selves post-Ameer Vann. Oh, but: 1999 Wildfire is THE BUSINESS so I'm not worried)

Pusha T - "DAYTONA" (Good, mean. Classic Pusha)

Nils Frahm - "All Melody" (Saw him live this year; he's going to be one of those artists that I see as many times as possible, a la Andrew Bird)

Other highlights: Drake released another bloated album. I blocked Kanye on twitter and didn't listen to ye. Had frequent fits of emo obsession, like getting into American Football many years late. Listened to Frank Ocean's "Moon River" and Spotify's POLLEN playlist a bunch.

Mistakes I'm probably making: underrating Mitski. Not mentioning Soccer Mommy in this post. Sleeping on Vince Staples's FM!

10. Cardi B – Invasion of Privacy

Many people wrote many things about Cardi B this year. I have nothing original to add: she is charismatic, unique, and good at rapping. She made good rap songs and put them on a good rap album that I listened to a bunch.

9. Mac Miller – Swimming

This is the first Mac Miller album I've latched onto. It's partly because of his tragic death, but even before that, I was impressed by his effortless flow and the way the entire album meshes together. In a year where rap underwhelmed me, it was nice to see real growth from a guy that I mostly only liked before because he gave beats to Vince Staples when no one else would. Ugh. Rest in peace, Mac.

8. Arctic Monkeys – Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino

I finally realized that the reason Arctic Monkeys have such staying power (for me and for the world in general, I guess) is that their lyrics are consistently delightful:

Take it easy for a little while Come and stay with us It's such an easy flight Cute new places keep on popping up since the exodus It's all getting gentrified I put a tacqueria on the roof It was well reviewed Four stars out of five And that's unheard of

7. Mitski – Be the Cowboy

"You know how you all loved Puberty 2? What if I did that but literally every part of it was better?" – Mitski, probably.

6. Big Red Machine – Big Red Machine

It's the folktronica The National and Bon Iver mashup that I've been waiting for. This album didn't have to be good. It could've ended up more like EL VY's Return To The Moon which was fun and listenable, but ultimately a B side. But nope: these songs are excellent, and wouldn't be out of place on a The National or Bon Iver record.

(I don't mean to outright diss the EL VY record. I love that the whole Eaux Claire bunch are playing around with projects like that, and like Big Red Machine. It seems like a pragmatic way to keep the mother bands from getting stale. But, like, pragmatic in a fun way, not in a robotic, soulless way.)

5. SABA – Care for Me

Saba's a kind of parallel universe Chance the Rapper where everything is sad. I know that's not fair - Saba isn't characteristically sad; it's just a sad album (and, weirdly, it's easier for me to love overly sad albums than overly happy albums). The album is good enough that I can forgive the cloying "Logout." And I can finally forgive the occasionally tasteless skits on Bucket List Project.

4. Beach House – 7

I was out on Beach House. I saw them live when they were touring for Bloom and I was underwhelmed by their live performance. It was fine but it wasn't for me. Not only did The Fox's acoustics muddle everything, the band didn't seem to have much energy for the set. I get it. It's Beach House. There's not going to be a mosh pit.

I still listen to every new Beach House album, though, mostly because Teen Dream was an important touch point in my indie rock awakening. And I'm glad that I do, but otherwise I would have missed 7, Beach House's best album. It's like they took Teen Dream and turned the "sleepy" dial down a notch or two. *chef's kiss*

3. boygenius – boygenius

Julien shredding on "Stay Down" is probably enough to warrant a spot on this list. It's fun to see these three women -- who are generally all about the introspective/sad vibes -- rock out. I feel lucky to have seen them perform these songs, and I'm crossing my fingers for a full-length in the future.

This entry also serves as a proxy for Phoebe's "Stranger in the Alps" which (boo) came out in 2017.

2. Lucy Dacus – Historian

It's not just that the songs are expertly crafted emotional indie music; Lucy's voice is stunning, and it's even more stunning live. Seeing her perform live bumped this album up a few spots for me for sure. I know this isn't supposed to be a "good stuff I saw live" list, but seeing these songs live helped to contextualize the lyrics and helped me understand Lucy as an artist (I hadn't heard of her before they announced the boygenius tour).

1. Tierra Whack – Whack World

I haven't been as excited during a first listen of a non-Frank/Kanye/Kendrick/Vampire Weekend album as I was for Tierra Whack's brilliant debut. It's got everything you need: fun beats, memorable hooks, and creative verses. It's only fifteen minutes long, so I naturally listened to it over and over again that first day, excitedly Slacking my co-workers in the #jams channel. Like the rest of the known universe (i.e., indie rap twitter) I wish that these songs were longer, but the silver lining is I don't ever listen to any of these songs without listening to all of these songs, which is a treat. Man. Just thinking about this album makes me smile. You could've listened to the album instead of reading this post! Go!

Next year is going to be the tenth year of compiling my top ten albums! I'll definitely do something to celebrate – maybe a top ten of the decade? Maybe a retrospective of all hundred albums that made my lists? Maybe some fresh charts and graphs? Will tumblr even still exist next year? Will the United States? Stay tuned!

[winchesterprincessbride]

Not What He Expected-Part 9

 You meet Dean Winchester in a bar when he attempts to come to your rescue after a drunk Alpha tries to take advantage of you.  He quickly realizes you’re not what he expected.  You’re a very independent Omega who is used to speaking her mind.  He’s all Alpha, but there is just something about you, an attraction that makes him want to know more…….

This part fills the Mating/Claiming Square on my @spnabobingo card

Part 1 (All parts are linked)

Master List

With my need for Dean temporarily satisfied, I was able to think clearly for the moment.  “We need to talk about this,” I said quietly.  Dean sat down next to me, his nostrils twitching at the scent of my heat.  He can’t seem to control himself, and he starts nuzzling my neck, his lips ghosting over the spot where he claimed me.

“Dean. You have to focus, baby. Look at me.” My words come out with a breathy little moan and he growls before his lips meet mine.  As they do, I see that his pupils are blown black with lust, the green barely visible.  He’s rutting badly.  

“Later.  We can talk later,” he mutters before he pulls me into his lap, his big hands grasping my hips hard enough to leave bruises.  And then my heat is consuming me and I am in a frenzy for his touch and we both are swept away, all rational thought going out the window.

We spend the next three days in an endorphin-fueled haze until my heat and his rut finally burn themselves out. I am exhausted and sore and doubt I will be walking normally anytime soon.  I collapse into his arms and we sleep like the dead until my growling stomach wakes me up.

When I open my eyes, he is watching me, but his gaze is clear so I know his rut is over.  “How long have you been awake?” I say sleepily.

“Long enough to know I’m starving.” Dean answers. “How about I make us some breakfast?”

I give him a surprised look. “Your gonna cook for me?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “You know, Y/N, I did manage to feed myself before I met you. I may not be a chef, but I get by.  I make a mean scrambled egg.” He says, flashing me that sexy grin of his.

“I’m just not used to guys cooking for me is all,” I whisper, feeling incredibly self-conscious.

“If you want to grab a shower I’ll have breakfast ready when you’re done.”  He tells me, kissing me quickly before jumping up and heading to the kitchen.

I feel like a new woman after a hot shower, and I smile as I hear Dean singing “Traveling Riverside Blues” off-key in the kitchen.  I stand in the doorway for a minute, just watching him.  Even with bedhead and three days growth of beard, he is the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.

Dean slides a plate of eggs and toast toward me, clearly proud of himself.  I take a bite, and then another.  The eggs are hot and creamy and super cheesy, just the way I like them.  I moan with happiness, and Dean’s eyes darken.

“How do you do that?”

I look up from my plate of happiness, confused. “Do what?”

“I’ve just spent the past three days fucking you seven ways to Sunday, and all it takes is that little moan you do, and I am hard as a freaking brick.” He replies, and suddenly the lightness is gone, and we are reminded there is unfinished business.

We eat in silence for a few minutes before I finally speak.  “So are we going to talk about this?” I ask, pointing towards the claiming bite on my neck with my fork.

His shoulders tense subtly, but I still notice it.  “I didn’t plan on doing it. I just couldn’t control myself.” He says quietly, not meeting my eyes.

I immediately assume the worst. He doesn’t want me.  He didn’t mean to claim me and now he’s stuck with an Omega he doesn’t want.  I feel like I’m going to be sick.  I push the plate of eggs away from me as if they are poison.  I don’t know what to say to him when he grabs my wrist.

“Look at me, Omega.” He commands. I look up, and the tears that I have been trying desperately to hold back spill down my face. “Y/N, please don’t cry.  Let me finish. I wasn’t planning on claiming you now, not during my first rut with you. But let me be clear. You are mine.  I just wanted to do it when I wasn’t out of my mind with rut. But I don’t regret it, not for one second. I love you.”

I am out of my chair so fast Dean barely has time to catch me before I tumble into his arms. “ I love you too, Alpha.”

“Your brothers are gonna have a field day with this,” Dean mutters against my hair and we both laugh.

I decided not to say anything for the moment about Dean claiming me.  I was always honest with Babi, so when my heat started, I had texted her and told her I needed a few days off and why.  She was an Omega, she understood how it was. 

 I left out the part about Dean being in rut.  She replied she was happy I had a handsome Alpha to help me through it and to let her know when I would be back to work.  She must have told the twins to leave me alone because I didn’t hear from either of them.

I got to work early because I wanted to get a head start on things since I had been out. There were certain items on the menu that only I made, and I knew we would be running low. 

I made sure to wear one of my uniforms with a higher neck so no one would see Dean’s claiming mark.  I didn’t want my family asking questions that I wasn’t ready to answer.

 I was elbow deep in flour when Cas and Meg came in.  “You look like your feeling better,” Meg said with a sly grin.  “Can’t imagine why.”

I glared at her and rolled my eyes in Cas’ direction. Babi must have told her. Damn her! “Much better.  Thanks for asking.”

“Please tell me your making pie. We’re just about out of everything.” Cas told you as he hung up his coat.

“Hello to you too, Brother Dear,” I said sarcastically. “I’m touched to see how much you missed me.”

“I missed your baking skills, anyway,” Cas said with a grin as he dodged the dough ball I lobbed at his head.It was really busy, and I was rushing around like a madwoman trying to catch up on all the stuff that needed to be done. I was still worn out from my heat, so by late morning, I was losing steam. I should have taken a break and eaten something, but I didn’t want to spare the time when there was so much to do.

I was filling the bakery case up front with some freshly baked pies when I heard a mocking voice speak from behind me.  “Well if it isn’t the little Omega tease.” 

I whirled around, ready to clock any dick that spoke to me that way. My eyes widened. It was that guy Barry from Dean’s garage.  Great, just what I needed today! “What do you want?” I snapped.

“I’m getting lunch. Thanks to you Winchester looks at me like he wants to snap my neck whenever he sees me.” Barry said with a sneer.

“Guess you shouldn’t have touched me then,” I said with a shrug, outwardly calm but inwardly seething.

The next second, both my brothers were standing next to me in full Alpha mode, blue eyes blazing with anger.  “What did you just call my sister?” Jimmy demanded.

“She’s your sister?” Barry questioned.

“Yes, she is,” Cas confirmed.

“I called her a damn tease.  Why else would she come into a garage full of Alphas when she’s in heat, looking so damn hot? She got Winchester so worked up she drove him into rut and he almost killed me.” Barry snapped.

“That’s it!” Cas exploded. “You need to leave, now! If I see you in here again, I will tell Dean you were bothering his Omega and he will kick your ass!”

“You heard my brother, Barry.  Get the hell out!  Dean won’t have to kick your ass because I will! Now go!” I told him furiously.

Barry looked at the three of us and realized he was seriously outnumbered, so he turned and walked out without even waiting for his food.  I finished putting the pies away and turned to the twins. “Thanks, guys.  He is an asshole. I’ll talk to Dean about him.”

Jimmy and Cas exchanged a look without speaking. One of their “twin telepathy” looks, I called it.  

“So are you going to tell us what happened?” Jimmy finally asked in a tight voice. 

“No, I’m not. It’s really none of your business.” I told them over my shoulder as I went back into the kitchen.

Jimmy and Cas left me alone for the moment, but knowing the twins like I do, I knew this wasn’t the end of this.  They wanted answers, and they wouldn’t stop until they got them. They were tenacious little bastards when they wanted to be.It was late afternoon, and I had been going nonstop since I’d gotten there.  It was just easier to keep going to avoid talking to Cas and Jimmy. I was in the walk-in refrigerator gathering some ingredients I needed to make quiche. I’d grabbed some eggs, cream, and some fresh herbs and as I stretched to grab butter from the top shelf, I got very dizzy.

The ingredients fell to the floor of the walk-in as I felt myself start to pass out. I made a quick grab for the metal shelf but I couldn’t get a grip, and my head hit the edge of it hard as I went down. The ragged gash in my forehead began to bleed profusely, my blood mixing on the floor with the cream and the broken eggs.

I never even heard Jimmy open the walk-in door and scream, “Cas, come quick!” at the top of his lungs. What happened next is all a big blur.  I don’t remember Babi coming, 911 being called, or the ambulance ride to the hospital.  I don’t even remember falling.  One minute I was getting ready to make quiche, and the next minute I wake up in the hospital with one mother of a headache.

“What happened? Why does my head hurt?” I ask groggily.

“You passed out at work and hit your head.  You have a concussion and a nasty gash that needed stitches and you are dehydrated. I suspect you haven’t eaten anything today, have you?” Babi grills me.

“I just had so much to do……” I began.

“You are the most stubborn girl I have ever met! You’re weak from your heat. You know how important it is to eat, and especially to drink lots of water.  Haven’t I taught you better than this?” Babi scolds me, and I feel like I am nine years old again.

“Has someone called Dean?” I asked quietly.

“He’s on his way,” Cas says in a hard voice. I look at him strangely.

“Speaking of Dean, we saw the mark on your neck, Y/N.  Do you have something you want to share with the class?” Jimmy asks in a very soft voice that hints at his barely restrained fury.

Part 10

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