#like yeah they sure did a lot to me. like make me suicidal and made easily treatable conditions turn into chronic problems 🤩🤩

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

[lilyevansisamilf7]

Another Life - Spencer Reid

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem Reader (Non Specified but imagined fem)

Warnings - not spell checked, character death??, cheating, all cm trigger warnings, Maeve, mentions of eating disorders addiction and suicidal thoughts.

Summary - You we’re ready to marry him, he was ready to leave.

———————————————————————

You fell in love four years ago. Budding new SSA Y/L/N and the marvellous Doctor Reid, the BAUs power couple, attached at the hip - perfect.

And perfect it was, you and spencer had been through everything together. Case after case, his addiction, your own struggles with disordered eating, and everything inbetween, so when he started being distant, and getting migraines, you were sure you could help. You found him the best doctors, geneticists, anything and anyone.

You never thought he’d fall for Maeve Donovan, his geneticist, i mean how could you, you’d seen the ring. He was going to propose, or so you thought, a beautiful amethyst ring hidden in the blazer pocket of his work suit. Not your favourite crystal but you’re sure he had a reason for picking it, he always did.

So you began planning.

And you planned and planned until it suddenly didn’t feel like he was going to propose anymore.

“Spence?” You call out from the kitchen where you’re making dinner.

“Yeah love?” He walks in.

“I was just thinking, do you ever think about marrying me?”

“Well yeah in the future when we’ve settled a bit more, i’m happy how we are right now”

“Oh” You sigh, “What about that ring in your blazer pocket? What’s that for then?”

Silence. You know what that means.

“Is she pretty?” He looks down at his shoes.

Your turn off the stove and wipe your hands on your trousers.

“It’s Maeve isn’t it? The doctor?” You giggle sadly “You always liked them smart”

“Y/n…”

“Does she make you happy?”

“Not like you do”

You scoff. He looks at you confused.

You pick at your nails, crying slightly. “You were the one for me Spence, and I just want you to be happy, I thought that was with me but i guess not anymore” You shrug before grabbing your bag.

“What are you doing?” He try’s to grab your hands.

“Im going to stay with Garcia tonight” You reach the door, “Maybe you can invite Maeve for dinner, i made your favourite. I’ll be back tomorrow to gather my things”

“Please don’t do this..”

“Goodbye Spencer Reid”

———————————————————————

The past month had been hell for you, you didn’t tell anyone the real reason you and Spencer split up, not wanting to ruin his friendships with the rest of the team, but you hadn’t been doing well. You’d lost a lot of weight, stopped going out with the team, and started throwing yourself into your work.

It was plain as day that you were heartbroken.

So when Spencer came in, seeking help for Maeve, you were advised to steer clear of the case. But you were determined to show everyone you were fine.

You worked the hardest on the case and found Diane first, and joined spencer on retrieving Maeve.

You walk in unarmed, as requested by Diane, and see Maeve being held by gunpoint.

“Diane, right?” You try and sound as calm as possible, “I’m Y/n”

“Stay back or I shoot her!”

“She rejected you didn’t she? Your paper? I read it and it was good, just needed a little more evidence”

“What evidence?”

“Someone who wasn’t your parents, who wanted to die”

You breath in

“I can help Diane, you need someone like me, you can kill me”

“You’re trying to trick me!” She exclaims.

“i’m not, Maeve doesn’t want to die, do you Maeve”

She begins to cry begging for her life.

“And you do?”

“I’ve got nothing left to live for”

You look to Spencer sadly.

“Think about it Diane, this gives you the evidence you need” You smile.

“You’re trying to trick me!”

“Fine, I guess Dr Donovan was right” I fake sigh and get a little closer, “You aren’t worth the time or effort”

In an instant, Maeve is thrown to the floor and Diane grabs and shoots you both in the stomach.

You fall to the ground.

Spencer instantly runs to you, cradling you in his arms, your breaths shallow and weak.

“Is Maeve okay?”

Astounded at your care he says “Please don’t worry about her, save your strength, the medics are on their way”

“I don’t think i have the time Spence”

“Please baby” He whispers.

“Are you happy Spence?”

“She’s not you…”

He holds you tight and you reach up to cradle his cheek with your hand, “Please let yourself be happy” A metallic taste covering the inside of your mouth.

As he’s holding you he can feel how much smaller you’ve become. “You’ve not been taking care of yourself” He begins to cry

“It’s not important now,” I whisper, “Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think i’m another life we made it

He thinks for a moment.

“I’m every universe i will be forever yours, I just wish it could’ve been in this one too” Beginning to sob

“And i will always be yours too, you were it for me Spencer Reid”

His tears fall down quicker than you can wipe them away.

“At least we’ll have all those other lives, we could have that wedding I planned,” I giggle sadly, “You would’ve loved it”

“I should’ve asked you, I wanted it to be you”

“I wanted it to be me too”

Your eyes begin to close, in the distant shouts for medics get louder, the blaring of sirens closer.

“I love you” he whispers, “Please don’t leave me, we’re not done yet”

———————————————————————

[im-sleepdeprived]

Crazier • Pt. 3

pairing: mcu!peter parker x reader

a/n: ITS FINALLY HERE omg I loved writing this series so much i had a blast. thank you for everyone who was asking me about part 3 because it felt amazing knowing you enjoyed it as much as me😭💕💕 i hope you enjoy !! (beware, she is long)

warnings: some angst thrown in here and there, fluff (later), mentions of breakups, mentions of cheating, very very brief mention of suicide ( someone mentions and old author who offed themselves), me not knowing anything about theater (I apologize in advance), glitter

read part 1 here & part 2 , masterlist

"And when we got the chair, Brad made me sit in it and he pushed me around the whole school!" You were telling Spider-Man about your day, and as always, he listened politely, only chiming every now and then. 

"Wow, you and this Brad guy sure did a lot together today, huh?" He said, and even with the voice changer, you could tell he sounded a bit off. "I mean yeah! He's a great guy, way cooler than I originally thought.” You told him, making him grind his teeth hard, not that you saw that. 

"Actually I'm a little upset that the play is about to come to an end." Your voice gets a little softer as you confess what's been on your mind today. "The rehearsals have been a blast, and the people are amazing and it's been such a good distraction from everything. I'm really sad to see it go," you looked down at your hands. 

Peter took one look at your expression and knew there was something else you weren't telling him. "Well what kinds of things do you need a distraction from?" he asked carefully.

"Um," you looked anywhere but at him, "well, my parents have been fighting a lot lately and it's just been really hard to be around the house, everything's so tense."

His lips parted but nothing came out. He knew about your parents, of course, whenever things got bad you'd always run over to his place to hang out. But now you couldn't do that anymore, so you were just looking for any way to avoid coming home for as long as you could. 

"And of course, there's that whole breakup." you continued. "But I've been pretty good at ignoring that so far, and I think that's just the way I'll keep going." You drummed your fingers on your thigh as you stared into nothing.

"Do you really think that's the best way to go about it?" He asked hesitantly. "Maybe you shouldn't just completely ignore something like that."

You gave him a questioning look, "And why wouldn't I want to forget about it? Isn't that what you're supposed to do eventually after a breakup?"

"Yeah, eventually," he repeated, "but wasn't that relationship a big part of you? Ignoring everything isn't gonna make all your feelings go away. You have to face your emotions, embrace them, and go through the motions before moving on."

He hated that you seemed to be fine all of a sudden. That you were getting so close with this Brad guy all of a sudden. It might've been selfish, but Peter didn't wanna see you moving on just yet, he still had a tiny hope in the back of his brain that you might take him back if he waited till just the right time. But the more you kept talking, the more that tiny hope diminished. 

You snorted, "Ok Dr. Spider-Man, I'm not sure a guy running around New York in a bright onesie is qualified to give out relationship advice, but you do you.”

He couldn't help but let out a laugh. "I'll let you know I give out great relationship advice and I'm not wearing a onesie," he huffed. "It's a super suit."

That just made you laugh harder, "Yeah, sure, whatever dude."

"So you and your team won?" he asked. He wasn't about to waste the only time in the day when he got to speak with you being jealous. He was gonna keep this conversation going. Try his best to give you what he never could as Peter. 

"Yes!" you beamed. "Oh and look," you scrambled around looking for the crown you had received after you won. You had brought it up with you just so you could show him. 

You put it on and straightened your posture, "We were rewarded with these fabulous crowns.”

Spider-Man let out a loud laugh. "Wow, you look like true royalty."

"Don't I?" you grinned. "I always wanted to be a princess when I grew up, so this is very fitting for me." You tapped the crown lightly and grinned at him.

Peter was sure he was grinning like a lovesick idiot. He remembered you telling him this, your crazy childhood dream during one of your late-night talks. He truly believed that if anyone in this whole world were some kind of royalty, it would be you.

“Just like Rapunzel.” He murmured. Your head perked up at that. “Oh my god,” you rush, “YES! Holy shit! She was my absolute favorite as a kid, how'd you know that?”

He fumbles a little but quickly finds himself. “You were humming ‘I See The Light’ a couple days ago. It was an educated guess.” You can hear the grin in his voice. “Glad to know I got it right though.”

You laughed a little and settled back down. “Dude, I'm not kidding. I used to eat yellow flowers as a kid 'cause I thought they’d give me magic hair.”

At that, Peter loses his mind. He’s cracking up and you're joining in beside him. This, he thinks to himself. This is what he’s been missing. This is how things should be. He can't help himself, the words are leaving his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts.

“So what about your ex? How’ve things been going with him?” Nice going dumbass. She's never gonna wanna talk with you again if you keep mentioning her ex-boyfriend.

You looked at him weirdly and started twisting the ring on your finger. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I-just I…” he scratched the back of his neck, “Well actually, I'm going through a breakup too, right now, and I guess…I don't know, hearing you talk about it, about him, makes me feel less alone.”

Peter Parker feels like shit. He feels like a total asshole. And yet, he doesn't feel bad enough to stop, to come clean. Not yet at least. He tried making himself feel better by thinking, ‘Well it's not a lie. I am going through a breakup. She just doesn't know with who.’

You stared up at him, shocked. He never shared anything about himself. Not a thing. You two joked back and forth but you were usually the one sharing personal issues (or triumphs, like today). You start to wonder what his personal life looks like. He can't be that much older than you from what you can tell by his sense of humor and some of his references. This man, no, boy, who spends practically all his time running around one of the most popular cities in the world, saving lives and changing them, is going through a breakup. And he’s currently sitting on a rooftop with you and talking about it.

You blew out a long breath. “If Spider-Man can’t find love, none of us stand a chance.”

He let out a soft laugh at that. “Ah, I wouldn't say that. I definitely have my fair share of flaws. And then some.”

You shake your head, “I'm sure the good outweighs the bad. I mean, come on,” you gestured towards him.

He laughed again. “So tell me, you still see him every day, right?

You nodded, deciding that if this made him feel less alone, you could do this. 

“Is it hard?”

You shrugged, “Honestly, I have no idea. I’ve been avoiding him like the plague. I’ve only run into him once and it was when me and another friend went to grab ice cream at our old hangout spot. I couldn’t look at him. I haven’t spoken to him since everything and I don’t really want to. Not anytime soon.”

He sighed. Of course, you didn’t wanna speak to him as Peter. He’d totally fucked you over, he’s lucky he found any kind of loophole at all because he really doesn’t think he can handle not speaking completely. 

“How do you think he feels?” He has no clue where the question came from but now that he’s asked, he can’t help the curiosity bubbling in him.

You run a hand through your hair and sigh, “I have no idea. One second he’s avoiding eye contact in the school hallway and the next, he’s staring daggers at me in an ice cream shop. He’s weird.”

Spider-Man chuckled lightly, “Yeah, he sounds like he is.”

“Do you see your ex a lot?” You hope he doesn’t see it as prying, you just want to see how similar your situations are. 

“Yeah, actually, I do.” He nods but says nothing else. 

“Is it hard?” You ask softly. 

He nods again, keeping his eyes low. “Crazy hard. Especially when I know everything is my fault.”

“Do you think she’d ever forgive you?” He only shrugged. “Do you want her to forgive you?”

He looks up at you, “Would you ever forgive your ex? After whatever it is that he did, I mean.”

You took a moment to think. “I don’t know. I think it’s different. I mean, I don’t know what happened between you guys, but I think with Peter and I, I think he was starting to lose interest.”

He can feel his heart drop. “What? Why would you say that?”

“Yeah,” you continued, not taking notice of the spider slightly freaking out beside you, “he just stopped caring. Stopped showing up, and stopped listening. If I didn’t know any better I’d actually think he’d cheated on me.”

“No way! I mean-,” he cleared his throat a little, trying not to sound as anxious as he felt, “Do you… do you actually that he did? Cheated, I mean. Do you seriously think he cheated on you?”

Please say no, please say no, please say-

“No, of course not,” you told him honestly. “Peter’s a lot of things, but he’s not a cheater. I’d accuse him of that.” You paused for a moment. “But there was something…I don’t know what. There was something he wasn’t telling me.”

He let out a breath of relief. Thank god, he doesn’t think he could’ve handled knowing you thought of him that way. And it’s true, he would’ve never stooped so low. As for the ‘something’…

“Say he were to show up, right now, knocking on your door. Begging to have you back and swearing that he’s changed. Would it work?” He asked half serious and half joking.

You laughed a little, “No, but it’d probably piss off my parents.”

He grinned beside you, his mask shifting slightly at the movement. “Aw come on. Not one for big romantic gestures?” He nudged your shoulder a little.

You smiled but your expression fell as you thought about his words some more. “No, I’m just not one for empty promises. Which is all he had to give me after a while. He used to be amazing, he used to be the perfect boyfriend. The Peter I knew disappeared and I wasn’t a fan of the one who replaced him.”

You look up at him and grin. “If there’s any chance of anything being repaired between us. Even a friendship. He’s gonna need to get his shit together.”

“So he cheated on her, which fueled her depression, and ultimately led to her suicide. And that wasn’t enough so he burned her most of her work, and profited off of the rest of it after she died!”

This is what your mornings looked like lately. Hanging out with MJ so much had been…interesting to say the least. There was always something you could learn from her. Currently, she was telling you all about some ancient female author’s shitty husband as you waited beside her locker while she grabbed everything she’d need for her next class. 

“Every article online about it says ‘allegedly’ but fuck that. It’s totally the truth,” She finished. 

“God. That sounds awful,” you grimaced. “Whatever happened to him? Didn’t they have kids?”

“Oh, he married someone, won a ton of awards everyone loved him. And yes, a son, who also dies by suicide, and a daughter. I'm pretty sure she writes kids' books now.”

You sucked in a breath. “Holy shit. And where did you learn all this?”

She shrugged. “I read a lot.”

“Right,” you nod, unable to completely shake off the grossness that story left you feeling. “So,” you started, hoping to change the subject. “What do you have next again?”

“Biology. But I think we have a sub today, so that’ll be fun.” She slammed her locker shut, leaned on it slightly, and turned toward you. “What about you?”

You shook your head at her, “Free period. I was gonna catch up on my reading for AP Lit. Hey,” you wondered aloud, “is it that sub that marks people tardy even if they’re a second late? I can’t stand him.”

She sprung up. “Shit. Shit. Fuck,” she rushed out. “It is. And I can’t get another tardy otherwise I get detention. Again. And my parents would kill me.”

You nodded, completely understanding. “Okay. Well, I’m just gonna go grab my stuff and head to the library. See you later!”

“Bye Y/N/N!” She yelled over her shoulder, already halfway down the hall. 

You laughed lightly before heading to your own locker. You opened it and grabbed your bag when you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

You slam your locker shut and turn around, only to come face to face with Brad. “Hey, Brad!” You grinned. 

You’d never really noticed Brad before. You never had anything against him, you both just ran in different crowds. Even after you both started working on the play, you were friendly with each other but it never went past a simple smile, wave, or quick ‘hello’. But in light of recent events, you were really starting to think of him as a friend.

“Hey.” He smiled right back. “Saw you here and thought I’d just stop by and ask how you’ve been.”

You gave him a closed-lip smile as you leaned back against the lockers. “That’s sweet. I’ve been okay, long morning though. What about you?”

He nodded. “Same. Stayed up pretty late last night going over my lines.”

“Really? Don’t really think you need that. I’ve seen you at rehearsals, you’re a natural Brad.”

“Yeah? You think?” He grinned wide at your compliment and ran a hand over his hair. “I’ve got ‘em memorized and all, but I just wanna make sure I know them, y’know?”

You nodded. He wants to make sure his delivery is as good as his memory. That’s another thing you didn’t expect from Brad Davis. His passion for theater. 

“Well like I said, I’ve seen you at rehearsals and I mean it when I say I think you’re fine. More than fine actually. So don’t stress yourself out Davis, you’re gonna be amazing.”

He beamed at you like a child. “Thank you Y/N, seriously. You don’t know how much that means.”

You smiled right back at him. “Anytime.”

It was quiet between you two for a bit, and you didn’t really know what to say. You were about to ask if he had a class he needed to get to when, suddenly, he took a few steps closer to you. 

That automatically took any words that might’ve been on your tongue and threw them in the dumpster behind the school. 

“There’s um, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, actually.” His voice is softer but, you hear every word and you can almost feel his breath on your face. 

“Oh?” Your voice matches his volume. This can't be happening. He knows you just broke up with Peter. He’s gotta be kidding. Or maybe, he’s about to ask something about the play. Yes, you think, he’s got a question about the play and he’s come to ask me, obviously, because I’m the director. 

The halls are quiet now, everyone else is in class, at the library, or something. It's just you and Brad, standing so close you could count his lashes. 

Just you and Brad. Brad, who won’t stop staring into your eyes for some reason, so you’re just left standing there….you and Brad.

And Peter. 

The sound of squeaky sneakers running down the hall seems to break him out of whatever trance he was held in and he steps back a bit, almost causing you to let out an audible sigh of relief. God, you could just kiss the person who decided to unintentionally interrupt whatever moment was just happening between you two. 

Or not. 

Because when you both turned to see who it was, your heart fell. Peter Parker is standing there, backpack hanging off his elbow, binder bursting with loose papers in hand, and staring at you like a deer caught in headlights. 

For a second, none of you say anything. Brad’s looking confused, staring at Peter. Peter is looking at you, then at Brad, then at you again. And you, well, you’re just wishing the school hallway would split in half and swallow you whole. You’ve run through a few different scenarios in your head, and falling into the earth’s core sounds the most appealing. 

Then Peter moves closer, clearing his throat as he approaches the both of you. “Hey guys, how’ve you been?” He asked. 

Neither you nor Brad replied. 

“Right. Hey man,” he turned to face Brad, his face suddenly serious, “don’t you drive a black BMW? Red rims, red interior?”

“Um, yeah, I do,” Brad answered skeptically. 

Peter blew out a long breath. “Think you might be in trouble dude. I just heard the principal saying he was gonna get it towed, something about you parking wrong.”

“What?!” Brad’s whole demeanor changed on a dime and you almost felt sorry for him. 

Peter held up both his hands. “I’m serious man, that’s what I heard. But don’t ask me,” he pointed to the hall behind him, “go ask Mr. Morita.” 

Brad stared at you for a moment before walking off, mumbling something about ‘another fucking ticket’ as you watched him leave. You almost grabbed his arm like a child, almost asked him to stay, just so you wouldn’t be alone with Peter. 

You swallowed. Brad had finally turned the corner, leaving him officially out of your eyesight and leaving you standing alone with your ex. It’s funny really, how you went from talking about suicidal classic authors with your friend a few minutes ago, to this. 

Yup, the Earth’s core sounds amazing right now.

For all the words he had to say when Brad was here, Peter was awfully silent now, doing that weird stare thing he did in the ice cream shop the other day. But there was no Ned to play polite this time, and no MJ to hold on a leash so she doesn’t bite. It was just you and him. 

And you had no problem running. 

You turned so quick, it took him a second to register the movement, and by the time he did, you were halfway down the hall. He ran after you. 

“Y/N, wait. Please.” He reached out a hand to place on your shoulder. You jerked away, his hand barely brushing your cardigan. 

You’re both standing in the hallway, and you’re still avoiding his eyes when you say, “We’re not doing this.” You shook your head and ran off, leaving a somber-eyed Peter in your wake.

There was no parking violation. Peter lied. But he had to. 

He’d gotten caught up doing some last-minute homework in the library. Spider-Man duties were keeping him busy lately because when he wasn’t fighting crime on the streets of Queens, he was spending time with you. 

He knows it isn’t right, he knows it isn’t fair, but god if it doesn’t feel good. He loves spending time with you and he hates that he can’t do it more often, hates even more that it’s his fault. And he damn sure wasn’t going to cut your meetups short because he had a few math questions waiting to be answered. 

So on his way back, the halls were empty when he suddenly heard a very familiar voice. You. 

But you were with someone. Brad. The thought made him roll his eyes. 

You were currently going off about how great Brad was doing so far in his role in the play you were managing. Stupid Brad, Peter was sure the only reason anything was going right in the planning of the show was because of you, you were the best person they could’ve picked for the job and all Brad had to do was say a few lines. You were the one who dealt with everything else. Brad should’ve been praising you, not the other way around.

He’d heard Brad’s response to your compliments and almost rolled his eyes again until he heard your response. Of course, you were being an absolute sweetheart. You probably had no clue what words like that meant coming for someone like you. You were probably oblivious to your effect on people, as you were probably oblivious to Brad’s true feelings about you.

You both went quiet for a moment, leaving Peter to wonder what happened when he heard Brad’s voice again. 

“There’s um, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, actually.”

No. 

No, no, no, no. No. 

If he were totally honest with himself, he knew it was coming. Especially after you told him about your little scavenger hunt around the school, and how well you got along with him, how kind he was being towards you. Brad didn’t just randomly see you in the hall and decide to say ‘hey’. He had class. Peter knew because he was supposed to be in that exact class right now.

He could handle another detention. 

Before he even knew it, he was running down the halls. He had no idea what he was going to do, even less what he was going to say but none of that mattered at the moment. He just had to make sure this didn’t go any further. There was no way he could stand by and listen to you agree to go out with some other guy. 

And then he was standing there, you’d both seen him, and it was too late to turn back. He stared for a minute, noticing how close Brad was standing next to you. His gaze flickered between you and him and all he could think was how wrong it would be for you to end up with someone like Brad. Stupid, stupid Brad, who hung out with all the stupid jocks, and threw those stupid house parties all the time. Who only talked about his stupid car, and what model it was-

An Idea popped into his head. 

He couldn’t help it. Bro Peter stepped out and dealt with Brad, knowing the one thing that would completely get rid of him at the moment. He wasn’t thinking about the consequences. 

As he’d suspected Brad left with almost no hesitation, Peter almost doubling over with how quickly he fell for it. 

And then, he was left with you, and every ounce of confidence, every word in his lifelong vocabulary, crumbled. It never ceased to amaze him how easily you could completely undo him. He was an avenger, for crying out loud, he had literally saved New York and, he didn’t want to sound cocky but, the world. He had faced villains, of all sorts, so despicable, it’s a wonder he’s alive at all. But he did it. 

But you…. He’s never felt like this before. So nervous, anxious, and scared to mess something up when all he wants is to fix it. In the superhero world, stunned silence isn’t an option. One moment of hesitation and everything could go to shit. But now, he’s not sure what the best course of action is. He’s not sure if speaking to you will make things worse, or better. If saying anything at all will give him more of a fighting chance. Was there even any chance of a fighting chance?

He didn’t miss how you hadn’t said a word and all he could think was ‘Please talk! Say something! Give me a hint for what I’m supposed to say!”

He was just stuck in place, staring directly at your face taking in your expression. You wouldn’t meet his eyes and there was no stopping the pang of guilt in his gut. You looked skittish, and it should’ve been no surprise to him when you turned to take off but it still took him a second to shake off that moment. 

Just a second though, because soon he was running right after you. He wasn’t going to let you off so easy this time. 

He’d called for you to stop, reaching his hand for your shoulder in hopes of getting you to listen. The way you jerk back as if his touch might burn you snaps something in him. 

And there they are, your first words to him (Peter him) since the breakup:

“We’re not doing this.”

And you’re already moving away again, already slipping away from him again while his hand hangs in the air. He almost touched you. Maybe it was better that he didn’t because he thought he might’ve never let go. 

He’s not sure if you meant what you told him as Spider-Man. Maybe it was just another one of your jokes. But he’s not ready to give up hope yet. He’ll give you time if that's what you need, he’s just scared of who else might try to make their move during that time. 

For now, he’s just gonna work on getting his shit together. 

And that starts with going to class, and getting his work turned in.

There’s a buzz in the air when you enter the auditorium the next day, that can only be described as highly-caffeinated-extremely-enthusiastic-high-school-theater-kids. You were all feeling the anticipation of your work these past few weeks being shared with all your friends and family. 

You were walking around checking up on the last-minute touchups. You walked up on stage and stopped in your tracks. “Oh my god,” your hand flies up to your mouth, “you guys! This is beautiful!”

The set group (Noah, Lacy, and Jack) all grinned up at you. They all had some form of paint on them. Lacy adorned a pair of overalls that consisted of black and navy blue splatters going up and down the front of her. Jack’s T-shirt looked as if it were being used as a rag for his hands, so there were so many colors intertwining with each other, that you couldn’t pick out a single one. Noah was the messiest of the group, this specific set being mostly his responsibility. The knees of his jeans were stained black, but it didn’t end there. He looked like a tornado of night, with all sorts of shades clinging to any visible part of him. Blues, blacks, indigos, you name it. And they were all gleaming with pride. 

“Hey Y/N,” Noah beamed at you. “We just finished the last backdrop.”

Behind them all was the backdrop which would be used for the last scene of the play. Lexi and Brad (or Stephanie and Gabriel, per the script) would stand in front of it and finally declare their love for one another, commencing their forever after with a passionate kiss. 

You knew it was supposed to be a night sky, but what you hadn’t known was how well of a job they would do. 

You let out a breathless laugh. “I can see that. It's stunning you guys, truly.” Although Midtown High was a school that specialized in the education of science and technology, the students here were extremely in touch with their creative sides as well. And that fact had never been more obvious to you than in that moment. 

“There's still one more finishing touch, and then it’ll be perfect.” Lacy grinned at you before running backstage. 

You were staring at where she'd just been, a furrow in your brows, when Jack nudged you lightly, “Oh, this is what she’s been waiting for since we started.”

Lacy came back, almost tripping over herself with how fast she was running. She held up a jar that sparkled in the auditorium lights as she moved it around, “Glitter!”

You grinned and clapped your hands together, “Oh I’m so happy I get to be here for this.”

Noah and Jack stood to the side while you and Lacy approached the large backdrop from the side. She made quick work of unscrewing the top and setting it beside her. She leaned over slightly and tilted the jar a tad before sprinkling it over the spacious work of art. 

If sprinkling glitter were a profession, Lacy would be a pro. 

You quickly figured out why she was so excited about this step, and it wasn’t just the glitter. Adding the glitter gave the scene more life. It made it look as if it were real, and you were looking at a sky bursting with sparkling stars.

 After getting the area in front of her, she turns to you, holding out the jar. “Here! Give it a go.”

You stared a her a bit before quickly shaking your head, “Lace, I never thought someone could be good at sprinkling glitter, yet here I am. You were like a freaking fairy! I’d totally ruin it, and I can’t do that to you guys.”

You held your hands up and started backing away slowly. You could hear Jack and Noah laughing behind you. 

Lacy just rolled her eyes with a smile stuck on her face. “Nonsense, Y/N, you’re a pro at everything you do,” she lowered her voice a little, “like that scavenger hunt?”

You gave her a look before turning around to make sure Mrs. Lightbody was nowhere around. “None of that,” you hiss, “that was a one-time thing! And it was a group effort!”

“Oh come on,” Noah this time. “We all know you had the hardest list of the bunch. Seriously Y/N, if Brad hadn’t shown me the list, I never would’ve believed that you did all that.”

Jack nodded. “Honestly, me and Lace wrote that as a little joke, like, ‘Hey, what if we were really wild with this? What would we do?’ And you came and proved us all wrong.”

Lacy hummed her agreement, “What they said, exactly. And this is just a bit of glitter. No big deal!” She grabbed your arm and pulled you towards her. 

You laughed lightly, feeling yourself grow a little flustered under their praises. You grabbed the jar of glitter from Lacy and went to work, being extra careful so you don’t ruin all their hard work.

“This is good glitter,” you say softly, completely concentrated on the task at hand. 

“Oh my gosh! I know right!” Lacy practically squeals her response. You laughed but could hear Noah groaning behind you. You finish with the glitter, screwing it shut before turning back to face him. 

“There’s no such thing as ‘good glitter’,” He did air quotes on that last part, sounding extremely frustrated and something told you this wasn’t the first time they had this conversation.

“Yes, there is! She just said so!” Lacy was standing her ground. Suddenly, she turned towards you, “Y’know who can settle this? Lexi. Go find her Y/N, take the glitter, and ask her what she thinks. She’s gonna agree with me, I can already feel it.”

You held in a laugh. “Sure thing Lace.” You turn to go find your other friend and as you're walking away you can still hear them arguing, Noah not convinced that glitter could be good or bad. It’s just glitter. 

You walked around the auditorium looking for Lexi and failing to find her. You started asking around, feeling sure that someone had to have seen her. You knew she was here, having seen her enter at the start of rehearsals. Walking around the front of the auditorium, peering down aisles, you were about to go check backstage when you heard a Brad Davis.

Now you’re not sure why, you didn’t do anything wrong after all, but a panic settled in you. Next thing you knew, you jumped into one of the aisles and crouched down. 

He was walking up the main row between the chairs, script in hand, talking to someone beside him who you couldn’t see. They were moving closer to you. Shit. 

In a rush, you start crawling, crawling, down to the opposite side of the aisle they were approaching. You were almost out, but you accidentally pulled down one of the chairs that are built to automatically flip up. Not a loud noise, but loud enough. You wince but don’t stop until you're sitting against the side of the row of chairs, out of their sight. 

You could hear the chatter stop and the footsteps slow. You sucked in your breath and folded in on yourself even more. You were already coming up with a cover for yourself. 

‘Oh, hey Brad. Yeah, I’m on the floor. Not avoiding you or anything, just….decided to see what the view of the stage would be like from here. Not good!’

It sucked and you really hoped you wouldn’t have to use it.

It seemed as though your luck for the day hadn’t expired because you heard them mumble amongst themselves and move on. After a few moments, You let out a sigh of relief and started crawling down towards the stage. You weren’t risking getting seen just yet.

You were starting to like Brad, you really were! But after recent events you had started to think the interest he’d taken in you wasn’t the same as the platonic one you’d taken in him. And you were bad at confrontation or being put on the spot. Obviously.

Plus you figured he’d want to talk about that weird moment with Peter in the hall the day before and you’d rather pretend that didn’t happen at all. Even you didn’t know what that was. 

Moving slowly, you kept your head down, trying to reach the stage so you could just bolt behind the curtains. Suddenly, a pair of pointed-toe black flats came into your view. You paused and slowly looked up. In front of you stood Ms. Lightbody. 

“Hi.” You said meekly. She looked down at you with a furrow in her brows, “Hello Miss Y/L/N. May I ask what you’re doing?”

You fumbled for a moment but finally found yourself. Clearing your throat, you stood up and dusted yourself off. “I dropped an earring.”

Way better than that other bullshit you were thinking of. 

She stared at both your ears, which adorned a pair of earrings you never took off. “Oh?”

“I’ve already put it back in,” you explained to her lamely. She gazed somewhere behind you and you followed her stare. Brad and his friend were still walking up and down the main row, lost in some conversation. You gulped, if she had seen you earlier, it would’ve been fairly obvious to her the real reason behind your little floor exploration. And that was just embarrassing. 

She hummed in response, “I see.” Her voice carried some tone of understanding and you felt yourself run hot with embarrassment under her gaze. 

“Did you need something, Miss?” You rushed out quickly, hoping to change the subject. 

“Yes,” she focused her gaze on you now, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say there was a sprinkle of amusement in her eyes. 

Ms. Lightbody was a newer addition to Midtown’s staff. She came in to replace the school’s previous drama teacher, and she also subbed at times. Most of the student body disliked her, thinking her short-tempered and strict but you knew that was far from the truth. It seemed this play helped you better understand your peers and superiors alike. She was an amazing teacher and, contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t an impatient maniac who didn’t have the skill set to teach. She was always willing to help someone who didn’t understand, but what she didn’t tolerate was purposeful incompetence.  

“Lexi is in one of the rooms backstage, I need you to go find her and tell her there’s one more scene we need to rehearse.” She paused and looked behind you again. “And I suggest you get to that soon because I think your friend, Mr. Davis, has spotted you.”

You blanched, unsure whether to dwell on the fact that she knew, or that Brad had spotted you. You turn slightly only to see Brad already looking towards you. 

You quickly snapped your head towards the lady in front of you again. “On it!” You told her, not waiting for a response before shooting up the stage and behind the curtain. 

You could’ve sworn you heard her laugh. 

You were backstage looking for Lexi. It wasn’t like her to stay tucked away like this, since rehearsals had started she was always ready for anything, talking things over with the other cast members, ready for criticism but rarely needing it. There was probably no one on the cast who was as excited as her. 

“Lex, you here?” You whispered softly. Behind the stage was empty and dark. You walked around carefully, trying not to accidentally trip on anything of the string or left-out equipment. All of this was going to need to be changed before tomorrow evening. 

Suddenly, so quiet you could barely hear it, was a shuffling noise. You looked around for some switch, finding it on the wall to your left. You switched it on and the action earned you a hiss from someone a little further in the room. 

You turned quickly, finding Lexi sitting at one of the small makeup desks, hands coming up to cover her face as if she were some vampire. 

That worried you. 

You rushed to her, placing a soft hand on her shoulder. “Lex,” your tone was quiet so as not to disturb her anymore. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

She looked up at you, hair disheveled, face a little pale, and eyes tired. “No, no I’m fine.” She shook her head but you weren’t convinced. 

You moved to sit at the desk next to her. “Okay,” you said softly, “then why are you sitting back here?”

She sighed a little. “I’ve just had a small headache since lunch. But I’ll be okay really. 

Your frown only deepens. “Did you eat today? Drink water?”

She nodded then rubbed her temples a little, shutting her eyes as she did so. “It’s probably my fault, I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m just tired.”

Her eyes snapped open and she looked more alert now. She clasped her hands together and smiled at you. “So wake me up Y/N/N. Tell me something interesting.”

Skeptically, you eyed her up and down. “Are you sure that's all? Should I take you to see the nurse?”

She shook her head again, her hair flying around her face as she did so. “No. I’m actually feeling better already, talking to you. I think the smell of Noah’s Axe Body Spray was just really setting everything off.” She gestured her hands around herself. 

You laughed, glad to see her acting like herself again. “But seriously,” she said, putting a hand on your knee. “Talk to me, it’s waking me up. How was your day?”

You let out a breath and leaned back in the chair, looking up to the ceiling. “Brad asked me out.”

She gasped so loud, you started up in your seat. “Shut up. Shut up!”

Smiling, you shook your head. “Well not yet. But I know it’s coming, you know what I mean? He keeps trying to get me alone, and he gets really close and starts staring into my eyes and everything. But he keeps getting interrupted.”

She gasped again, softer this time, and held her hand to her chest. “Oh my god. That’s so cute! Are you gonna say yes?”

You stilled for a moment. Were you going to say yes? You’d figured out what was most likely coming your way, but you hadn’t really thought of how to handle it. You couldn’t crawl across floors to avoid him forever. That would make graduation very awkward. 

And at the same time, you didn’t want to reject him. Brad was sweet, maybe not the type of person you usually went for, but he had his own things. Maybe you needed something new, something different. 

But something in your gut was telling you maybe you shouldn’t go out with someone who made you panic-crawl on the floor just to avoid having a conversation with them. 

Not to mention, you just weren’t interested in him like that. At all.

Lexi was going on about something or other, seemingly fine at the moment. “I totally knew he was into you. I mean, that whole picking you up in the library thing?” She shook her head. “Not just a platonic thing.”

You laughed loudly and stood up. You held out a hand for her to take. “Come on Lex, everyone’s looking for their star.”

She took your hand and stood. “I bet they are, I’ll have to apologize for hogging you from them.”

You laughed again and started pushing her towards the front stage. “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you! We’re playing with glitter!”

The rest of the day went by smoothly. You, Lexi, and Lacy applied the finishing touches to the backdrop. As Lacy had guessed, Lexi agreed with her. Lacy went on about all the qualities the perfect glitter should consist of; ‘catches the light, soft, and dustable.’

You were sure that last one wasn’t even a word but Noah gave in eventually and let the girls have their win. But that wasn’t enough for the three of you. Not wanting to put the glitter away just yet, you started sprinkling it on each other. 

Word spread across the auditorium like wildfire, and soon, a line started forming on the stage to get glitter sprinkled on you, boys and girls alike. Ms. Lightbody shut that down quick.

You stuck to avoiding Brad for the rest of the day. It wasn’t hard, you were both busy, him being one of the leads and you helping with a little bit of everything and making sure everyone stayed in order (with the exception of the glitter fiasco). 

At the end, Ms. Lightbody had gathered you all around to talk about how tomorrow was going to go. She went over the basics, what time the show was going to start, and what time you all had to be there. It was things you all already knew but it was good to go over. In the end, you thought she looked a little sad, and apparently, you weren’t the only one because someone else pointed it out. That made everyone jump and you all pulled her into a group hug. This little group had become like a crazy family and you were forever grateful you had a chance to be part of it. 

You left quickly after that, wanting to get out before Brad offered to walk you home or something. You said bye to your friends, taking extra time with Lexi. She had been more reserved after you two talked, not as tired as you’d found her backstage, but still not quite herself. You told her to get lots of sleep tonight. She was needed tomorrow

Now, you were sitting on the rooftop ledge, kicking your feet as Spider-Man sat next to you.

“Are you excited?” He asked. 

You nodded, smiling. “Very. We’ve all been working really hard for this. And you should see how great a job everyone has done. I can’t wait to see it all put together finally.”

“I’m sure you’ve done a great job,” he nods. “I really wish I could be there. You’re gonna need to take some videos for me. Show me afterward.”

You grinned wide. “Seriously? You’d wanna see?”

“Heck yea I wanna see,” he said, voice serious.

“Okay.” You nodded. “I’ll take plenty of videos, don’t worry.”

“Thank you.” He said, raising a hand a ruffling your hair. You laughed and slapped his hand away. He stared at you a little before asking, “What’s in your hair?

You grinned wide. “Glitter.”

He shook his head, laughing. “I don’t even wanna know.” You giggled beside him. 

 “Are your friends going to be there?” He asked.

“Um,” you say, still smiling. “Yeah, I think so. They said they will, and I think it’ll be fun.” MJ had told you she was definitely going to be there, she couldn’t wait to make fun of the kids in the play, she’d already bought her ticket. Ned said he wanted to see it as well, and Peter…well, after recent events you couldn’t think of any reason he’d be there. He probably wouldn’t be able to find the time in his busy schedule, even if you two were still together. So it was better like this. 

“What about your parents? Are they gonna try to make it?”

A beat passed before you replied. “No,” you shook your head. “I don’t think they’re gonna be there.”

He was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. He almost regretted asking. 

“But it’s okay,” you said, your voice so soft, it took everything in him not to reach over and pull you into his arms. “I wasn’t expecting them to anyway. I have my friends, that’s enough.” You cleared your throat and wrapped your arms around yourself. 

He watched you for a bit and it hit him then, just how strong you were. How much you had on your plate at the moment. How little you let it show. 

Your parents were basically roommates to you, you barely saw them, they were just there. The play you were managing? While everyone else had one job, one task they needed to focus on and get done, you were involved in everything. He remembered you mentioned to him a few weeks ago something about your phone blowing up since planning started. He never thought much of it then. 

The more he thought about it, the more he realized you were always doing this. When it wasn’t the play it was something with your family, or tutoring other kids at school. And on top of all of that, you were always available for your friends whenever they needed you, and your grades never slipped. Your essays and tests were used by your teachers as examples. He always knew, but not really. It was painfully obvious right now. And it was even more obvious to him that he never helped. He should’ve helped make things easier for you, because he loves you, because he cares for you. But all he did was add to your plate. The thought made him feel sick. 

“I’m so sorry,” Even through his voice-changer you could hear the sincerity, the despair in his voice. Your brows furrowed. 

“You don’t need to apologize, it’s not that big of a deal. I swear,” you told him sincerely. 

He nodded but the movement almost looked forced. “How have you been?”

You paused. “Good,” you nodded, as if confirming your own statement. “Busy, but good.”

“Have you taken a moment to breathe recently? Just relax yourself for a few seconds?”

You were taken aback by his question. No one had ever asked you that. “I- I don’t think so,” you replied quietly. 

“Alright, that’s okay, we can do that together. Here,” he held out both his hands, palms up. “put your hands in mine.”

You followed his lead and placed your hands in his. The material of his suit felt smooth, but thicker than it looked, and you were surprised to see how well your hands fit together. 

“Close your eyes.” He said, and you saw the whites of his mask flicker shut. You followed his lead. 

“Great. Now big breath, through your mouth.” You sucked in a handful of air, the sound ringing out like a quick gasp. 

His hands gave yours a gentle squeeze. “No,” he said, voice soft. You felt your face heat up and you tried again, this time slowly letting the air enter and fill your lungs.

“Now out through the nose.”

You let the air leave you, not even realizing how tense you were until you felt yourself relax. Your eyes fluttered open and you found him already staring at you. His thumbs had started gently caressing your hands and you found you didn’t mind at all.

“A few more times.” He told you, and you nodded at him. You closed your eyes again and repeated your actions from before, more sure of yourself this time.

When you had finished, you opened your eyes again. His eyes were still open and you thought his mask shifted into something like a grin.

“Better?” He asked you, and you smiled, nodding your head. It was crazy to you to think about how over these past few days, that very mask had turned into a comforting sight for you. You really thought of New York’s Spider-Man as a friend. And you hoped he felt the same.

You nodded again, unable to take your eyes off of him. You weren’t even aware you were still holding hands until he removed his from yours. You almost protested, your hands suddenly feeling colder than they ever have. 

But then he brought his hands up to cup each side of your face. 

Oh. 

You were sure you were melting. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, and you couldn’t even see his face! You wished he’d just rip it off, you wouldn’t care who was underneath. 

He brought his face closer and leaned his forehead against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut. You stayed that way for a minute, both of you just enjoying the moment before you decided to speak. 

“Take it off.” You whispered. 

“What?” He asked, his voice matching your volume. You had opened your eyes and you were looking at him now. You could clearly see the eyes of his mask were still closed and you fought off a smile. 

You brought up your hand to his face and traced his jawline. You could feel his jaw flex underneath your fingers and you could’ve sworn you heard him gulp. 

“Take it off.” You repeated, your thumbs now caressing his cheekbones. 

His eyes flew open and he leaned back. “No,” he shook his head, moving even further from where you two were seated next to each other. 

Your brows shot up at his sudden change of demeanor. You wished you hadn’t said anything. “Ok,” you said, voice quiet. “You don’t have to. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I was just- ugh I’m so sorry.”

“No!” He repeated. “Don’t apologize I- you did nothing wrong.”

But the way he was acting was making you feel otherwise.

“I have to go. Good luck tomorrow.” He said, stood up, flung out his wrist, and started swinging through the buildings faster than you could blink. 

Fuck. 

You were a wreck. 

Everyone was running all over the place, orders being shouted across the entire backstage. Some people seemed to have invited their friends to hang out backstage (which was not allowed). Every corner was packed. And you were in the middle of it all. 

“Y/N!” Ms. Lightbody called for you from across the swarm of bodies. You made your way through everyone, not stopping until you were standing in from of her. She placed a hand on your shoulder and steered you until you were both standing in a corner, as far away from the others as you could get. 

“Miss Walker isn’t here, and it’s starting to become a problem.” She told you, voice serious.

You blanched. “Lexi isn’t here yet?!”

She shushed you. “I don’t want to start a commotion. Things are barely going smoothly as is, and this will not make it better. Everyone will start worrying if they find out their lead hasn’t arrived, and we cannot have that.”

You nodded at her, mind racing. “What do we do?”

She sighed, “For now? Wait and hope for the best, there’s still a bit more time.”

You nodded again and she took a second to look around the room. “What is all this? Half these kids have no business here!” She turned towards you again. “I'm going to try to reach Miss Walker’s mother, deal with all these children Y/N, please. I want them gone by the time I get back.”

She turned to leave before she remembered something that had her turning right back, “You have Miss Walker’s contact information, correct?” You nodded at her again. “Great. Try to get ahold of her, will you? The sooner we figure this out the better.”

“Sure thing Ms. Lightbody.” You told her, waving her off, your voice sounding a hundred times more confident than you felt. 

You watched her walk out the back door to make her phone call, and you paused for a moment, unsure what to do first. You turned and pulled out your phone. Heading for the door Ms. Lightbody just walked out of, you pulled up your message thread with Lexi.

girl WRU !!!

you were needed like 30 mins ago !!!! 

get here-

You bumped into someone, your phone flying out of your hand before you could send that last one. You would’ve been sent flying backward if the person hadn’t gripped your waist tight to keep you steady.

“Woah, careful.”

You’d know that voice anywhere. Peter. 

“Parker,” you said, backing away quickly. “What are you doing here?” And you don’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did but…there’s just a lot on your plate right now. 

And it seems he can tell. He bent over to grab your phone, placing it back in your hands. “The lady at the office saw me walking by and asked me to drop these off.” He waved a big bag you hadn’t noticed in his other hand. 

You reached for it, saying, “Oh my god, perfect.” At the same time, he asked, “Are you okay?”

You completely ignored him, taking the bag from his hands. Turning around, you caught Jack walking by at just the right moment. “Jack! Here,” you called him over, “Those supplies you guys were asking for.”

“Sweet, thanks Y/N/N!” He said, leaning in to give you a quick hug. You smile but then quickly shove him away, “Thank J, but you really need to go finish. Like, right now.”

He straightened his posture and saluted you. “Ma’am yes ma’am!” He said, then he turned to Peter, who had been watching the whole exchange, “Sup Parker.” He sent a little head nod towards him, as he started walking away. 

Peter returned it, brows slightly furrowed as he looked between the two of you, “Hey man.” 

You started walking around, trying to count up how many people there were who weren’t a part of the cast or crew. 

One, two, three-

You felt a hand placed on your shoulder and you turned quickly, only to see Peter still hasn’t left. 

You looked at him in disbelief. The nerve of this guy. There’s no way he seriously thinks you’re going to talk about the two of you right now, is there?

“How are you?” He asks again and you’ve never found someone dumber than you did right now. 

“Hello?! Things aren’t going too hot in case you can’t tell, and you aren’t exactly helping right now!”

He nodded, “Okay. What can I do to help?”

You scoffed. “I don’t know, leave. It’s so crowded in here and I have to get all these extra people out. Shit,” you smacked your forehead. “I forgot I have to find Lexi. Fuck! And I have to-.”

“Y/N!” Someone shouted your name for the umpteenth time that night. You turned and met Vanessa, one of the people in charge of makeup. 

“We’re out of setting powder.”

“What?!”

She winces. “I know, I’m so sorry. We thought we had enough but then some of the boys were playing and knocked over-,”

You waved her off, not wanting to hear the rest of it. “Okay, okay. Do none of the other girls have any extra? Is no one willing to lend you some?”

She shook her head. “No! I already asked. I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll get you some.” Peter stepped in. “Just send me a picture of what it looks like and I’ll be back in ten minutes tops.”

Vanessa gasped, “Dude. You’re a lifesaver. Y/N,” she met your eyes, “your boyfriend is a lifesaver!”

“Oh he’s not-,” you started, but she was already walking away. You turned towards Peter, the disbelief on your face getting stronger every time you looked at him today. 

You started shaking your head, “What on earth are you doing Parker?”

“Helping you.” He said as if it were the easiest thing on earth. He wondered if you were making a conscious effort not to say his first name. 

Your head wouldn’t stop shaking left and right. “What? What do you- I don’t-,”

He cut you off, “And I’m gonna get rid of all the people who don’t belong here too.” He looked around the room before looking down at you. “You, just…take care of yourself Y/N. Don’t stress too much, it’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you even have the time?”

Shit. 

His face fell and you immediately felt guilt seep into your bones. 

“Peter I’m so-,” 

He cut you off again, his voice quieter this time. “No, that was..that was fair. But I mean it.” He raised his voice, sounding more sure now. “I’m going to help you out.”

He stepped away from you suddenly, leaving you standing with your mouth agape. He walked to the end of the room, stopping right before the door. “Alright, everyone! Listen up,” He clapped his hands together, his voice booming around the room. Everyone quieted down to hear him.

“Unless you had some part in putting all this together, I’m going to need you to follow me out right now. Let everyone do their thing, we don’t need to bother them any more than we already have.”

Everyone was still for a second.

“And,” he continued, “Ms. Lightbody gave me permission to start handing out detentions.”

That got everyone moving. Your brows furrowed as a sea of students started moving through the room and out the door. Ms. Lightbody did no such thing. 

Peter stood to the side, holding the door open. It had come down to the last few people and Peter held back a boy. “You,” he told him, “I’m gonna need you to stay outside this door and make sure no one enters unless they’re part of the cast or crew. We can’t have that happening again.”

“Oh shit. Like a bouncer?” The kid asked eagerly.

Peter stared for a bit before he nodded. “Yeah man, exactly. And listen,” he pointed at you, “if you’re not sure, you ask her, alright?”

The boy turned towards you and you offered him a smile. “Damn! She’s smokin’!” He exclaimed. If you weren’t so busy, you might’ve blushed.

Peter narrowed his eyes, and it seemed like he was considering something before he quickly shook his head. He grabbed the boy by the shoulder and placed him on the outside of the door. 

“Vanessa!” He shouted. “Send me a picture of the powder, I’m going right now.”

“Already sent Pete, thanks!” She shouted back, giving him a thumbs up from where she was standing by the makeup chairs. 

Pete? Why would she call him Pete? She doesn’t know him like that. I used to call him Pete-

You stopped your train of thought. You could not afford to think like that right now.

“Perfect.” He said, he made to move away but his eyes met yours and he froze. “I’m gonna…” he trailed off, feet stuck to the ground as his thumb pointed to the door. 

“Of course,” you nodded quickly. “And Peter,” you stop him before he turns to go, “thank you. So much.” You hoped your voice carried the sincerity you felt.

He smiled at you softly, “Anything for you Y/N/N.”

This time, you did blush. You turned away before he could see you and placed a palm on your forehead. 

“Wow,” a voice said from beside you. Brad. “Didn’t know Parker had that in him.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, “me either.”

“Hey, where’s Lexi?” Someone in the room asked. You felt your heart drop. Lexi. You’d completely forgotten about her after that whole thing with Peter. 

You had a show that needed to start in less than an hour and your star still hadn’t shown up. 

You pulled out your phone again, pulling up her contact. You were about to hit the ‘call’ button but right then, Ms. Lightbody walked in. 

She was holding her phone to her ear, and she was staring straight at you, her face full of dread.

“Lexi can’t make it. She’s got some type of flu, she can’t get out of bed. I am on the phone with her mother right now.”

Your jaw dropped. Chatter broke out everywhere. The kids were panicking, wondering what to do now, now that the lead of the whole show wasn’t going to be here.

Fuck. You should’ve known, yesterday when you saw her. But you were stupid enough to believe it was just lack of sleep. You should’ve figured it out faster so you could’ve planned something. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“Miss Y/L/N.” You looked up when you heard your name. “She’s asking to speak to you.” Ms. Lightbody holds her phone out for you to take. 

Your eyes widen, “Me?”

She nodded, hand still outstretched toward you. You swallowed and walked your way toward her. You reached for the phone and held it to your ear. The chatter around the room stopped, everyone straining to hear what was going to happen next.

“Hello?”

“It wasn’t the Axe Body Spray.”

You barked out a laugh at the unexpected joke. “Lex! Be serious, what happened.”

“I got sick when I got home from rehearsal yesterday, I’ve been asleep since.” It was then that you heard how different her voice sounded. Nasally and broken, like she’d swallowed a lawn mower. 

“My mom’s only woken me up about twice to drink some medicine,” she continued, breaking into a fit of coughing at the end of her sentence. Yeah, maybe it was a good thing she didn’t come.

“Lex,” you repeated, sounding more desperate this time, “what’re we gonna do?”

“Wait,” someone in the room with you starts, “what about her understudy?”

“There is no understudy, dumbass!” Someone quipped right back. 

“You,” Lexi said. 

“Huh?” You replied. 

“You, Y/N.” She repeated. “You need to do it. You need to play Stephanie. No one else could do it. You know all the lines. You know the whole play.”

You paled. “Be so fucking for real with me right now Lexi Walker.”

“I am.” She said seriously. Or, as seriously as she could sound when she had to cough after every other word she spoke.

People were leaning in now, trying to hear what was going on between the two of you. You ignored them, “Lex, there’s no way. You know I can’t do that.”

“Oh my god!” Someone shouted. Lacy. “Y/N! Y/N can do it!”

You shook your head quickly. “No! I can’t!” You replied to her, the phone still pressed to your ear.

“You have to, Y/N, please, for me. You know how much this means to me. You’re the only person I trust,” Lexi begged

There are shouts from your cast-mates now, encouraging you to take the role when that was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Lex, babe,” you tried to reason, “I didn’t rehearse as much as you did! I don’t know it like you.”

“No,” she agreed, “you know it better. All that time you spent, going over every detail of the set, the costumes, the script. It was for this. Now please, you know you can do it.”

You paused. You didn’t want to, but it was really looking like you had no choice. You looked around at everyone in the room, they all worked so hard, hell, you worked so hard to make this happen. You weren’t gonna let it all be for nothing.

You rubbed your temple with one hand, the other holding the phone up to your ear. “Do you guys really think I can do it?” You looked around at everyone, hoping they’d answer honestly.

A chorus of agreement rang out from the group but Ms. Lightbody stepped in. “Miss Y/L/N,” she started, “I know none of this has been ideal. And I know we’re asking a lot. You didn’t come in today expecting to step onto that stage, but right now, that’s what we need. And I think we would all appreciate your help in these unexpected circumstances.”

You stared at her for a moment. You always wondered why she spoke so formally all the time, maybe one day you’ll ask her.

“Sure, I’m down.” You shrugged and everyone started cheering. 

“Oh good,” Lexi sighed, “cause I need to go throw up right now, so bye. Tell everyone to take lots of photos and videos for me please!”

You winced. “We will Lex, you just work on feeling better. Now go, I love you.”

“Love you too babe.” She replied before hanging up quickly. 

“Alright,” Ms. Lightbody started pushing you to the makeup chairs. “Have a seat Y/N. Girls,” she turned toward the makeup crew. “Get started on her, afterward, take her to hair and then, get her into her costume.”

They all chorused an agreement and started fussing over you. You were one of the last people to get ready, everyone one else having already had their turn. 

With so many people working on you, your makeup was done in no time. Soon, only Vanessa was left and she was powdering your face.

“Peter came back?” You asked her once you realized what she was holding in her hands. 

She nodded. “Yeah, a few minutes ago, but he didn’t come in, left the stuff with the dude outside the door who’s calling himself our ‘bouncer’.”

You nodded, “Oh okay.”

“You’ve got a great boyfriend Y/N, seriously. Not many guys I know would help out like that, no matter…”

You zoned out while she was doing the finishing touches on your face. Not many guys you know either, Peter included. Or at least, the Peter you’d come to find yourself in a relationship with. The old Peter, however, would’ve done anything for you, and you for him. You got a glimpse of him earlier tonight and you wondered what it was that triggered that. 

The few moments of silence gave you time to go over everything that's been happening recently in your head. You’ve had a hectic past few weeks, but especially this last week. With the last few rehearsals, everything with Peter, everything with Spider-Man. Oh…

And then there was him…

There was a moment yesterday. You tried to gaslight yourself into thinking you imagined it but you didn’t. It was real. Until you ruined it.

You’d gone to bed late last night, staying on the roof even after he’d left in case he decided to come back so you could apologize again. You’d felt downright terrible all night. And this morning. 

It was none of your business to ask him to take off his mask. Who the hell did you think you were? There might’ve been something before but there was no way…not after the way he reacted last night. You’d pissed him off. And now you’d lost another friend.

“There you go!” Vanessa said, pulling back from your face and grinning. She held up a mirror for you to take a look. “What do you think? I think it matches Stephanie’s description pretty well, no?”

You gasped, “Oh my god Vanessa, this is exactly how I pictured her! When all this is over you have to teach me how to do my eyeliner like this.”

“Deal.” She grinned.

Suddenly, Ms. Lightbody walked by. “Who is that child standing outside the door?” She asked. Vanessa shot you a look and you subtly shook your head at her, and at anyone who turned towards you. 

No one answered her. “He asked me for my ID?!” You choked back a laugh. “He doesn’t even go here!” She continued. Everyone successfully avoided her, playing busy with whatever task they had in front of them. Vanessa kept brushing over your face with a clean brush while you both fought back smiles.

“Y/N!” Ms. Lightbody called. You shot out of your chair and approached her. “Yes ma’am?”

“Is your makeup all done?” You nodded while she examined your face. “Very well, head over to hair, we need everyone ready soon! Curtain opens in 15!”

That last one was directed at everybody and you could feel the shift in the atmosphere. If everyone wasn’t working before, they were now. 

You headed over to hair and let one of the people there pin it up for you. After that, you were held into your costume, your friends pulling on layer after layer before finally, you were completely ready. 

You looked in the mirror. “I look I came out a Jane Austen novel,” you murmured. 

Lacy, who stood beside you, laughed. “And it suits you! You look beautiful Y/N, stunningly classic. Very vintage.” She nodded in approval. 

You turned towards her and smiled, “Thank you, Lace.” You sucked in a breath and ran your hand down the hem of your costume. “I’m nervous,” you admitted shyly. 

“Don’t be,” she replied, voice soft. “Hey, if you could pull off that scavenger hunt, this should be a piece of cake.” She smirked wickedly at you. 

You laughed, “Actually, you’re right.”

“I always am.” she shrugged

“SHOWTIME EVERYONE, GET IN YOUR PLACES!” Ms. Lightbody’s voice boomed across the whole backstage. 

You both looked at each other. “Break a leg.” She grinned at you. 

You grinned right back. You could handle this. 

The anxiety from before had mostly worn off. Now, all you felt were nervous jitters and even a little excitement. Everyone was right, you knew everything about this play like the back of your hand, and you were looking forward to being out there with people you’d come to think of as friends. 

You got into place, standing beside Brad and some of your other cast-mates who were going to be in this first scene with you.

“Hey,” he said, voice low and he looked down at you with a large smile on his face. 

“Hi,” you replied, smiling right back. 

“Don’t think I got the chance to tell you, but I’m really happy you’re doing this.”

“Yeah, I think I am too.”

“Curtain warmers on?” Ms. Lightbody spoke into a little headset. “Perfect. And…action!”

The lights blinded you for a second, once the curtain opened, and you had to stop yourself from turning your face away. In the beat you had before the scene came to life, you chanced a glance at the crowd. You really wished you hadn’t. 

Peter Parker was sitting front row. 

As quickly as you looked, you averted your gaze, but not before you noticed a few things. Beside him sat Ned, and in the row behind them, right behind Ned’s chair, sat MJ. And all three of them had their mouths hanging open. You had to fight down the heat threatening to rise to your face. 

You never told them, hell, you didn’t even know. What were they gonna think? There was no way you could pull this off, you were all fooling yourselves, everyone was wrong and-

The first line was delivered, and it all came to life. 

You were panting, running backstage. There was a small intermission at the moment, and you had just changed your outfit, from the simple gown you were adorning, to a bigger one. This one was more detailed and more eye-catching. It was supposed to be special because it was meant for the last scene of the whole play. The confession. Your kiss with Brad.

In the heat of the moment, you’d forgotten that specific detail. And as you sat down in the makeup chair again and one of the girls reapplied your lipstick, it was all you could think about. 

You had to kiss Brad. And Peter would be sitting front row watching the whole thing. 

That shouldn’t matter. First of all, it was all part of an act. Even if you were still with Peter, (which you weren’t. You had to keep reminding yourself of that little detail) it wouldn’t have mattered because you were doing it for the play. A play you weren’t even planning on being a part of, acting-wise, of course. 

And then there was Spider-Man. If there was anyone you had to be kissing right now, you wished it was him. But there was no chance of that happening after last night. You wondered how he was feeling right now. He’d probably tell you to relax and stop stressing yourself out. 

The thought made you take in a breath through your mouth, and slowly exhale from your nose. Just like he’d taught you. You felt yourself relax and, not for the first time that night, you decided that you needed to just get through tonight. And then you could worry about everything else. 

The girl helping you with your makeup (you didn’t recognize her, but appreciated the help nonetheless) pulled away and smiled. “Alright, I think you’re good to go.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled back and stood from your chair.

Ms. Lightbody approached you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Come on, Miss Y/L/N. We need to get you in place.”

You nodded as she led you to the wing on the side of the stage, the curtains were still down, and by the time they opened again, you would be standing on the makeshift balcony (built by the props team), soon to be joined by Brad. 

You went to approach the steps of the balcony when you felt her hold you back.

“I wanted to thank you again Y/N. I know we were all planning on Miss Walker doing all this but honestly…I couldn’t be prouder.”

Your heart warmed at her confession. You were upset you didn’t get to see Lexi shine like you’d been planning but you hoped you’d do her proud. You were glad to know you did Ms. Lightbody proud. 

Without saying a word, you throw your arms around her in a warm embrace. She quickly reciprocated. 

“I know we’ve all given you a hard time these past few weeks, and we don’t say it enough but we appreciate you. All of us.”

You both pulled back and her eyes were full of emotion. “Thank you Y/N, truly. Now go, I’ll get Mr. Davis ready.”

You nodded and stepped onto the set, positioning yourself at the end of the balcony. The balcony protruded from the side of the stage and covered a quarter of it. The backdrop you’d been appreciating just yesterday now stood to your side. You saw parts of it glitter from the light leaking in from backstage and you stifled a laugh.

Soon, the curtain opened. You’d grown used to the lights by now, welcoming their glow over your face. You gripped the railing and played broken-hearted, right now, Stephanie and Gabriel had just had a falling out during a ball and you had run out onto the balcony to get some air. 

“Stephanie.” Brad approached behind you, and you turned around in fake shock.

The hardest part about acting, you’d come to find, was keeping a serious face and not laughing at yourself or your partner.

“Leave me be, Gabriel.” You waved a hand at him, turning away. 

He caught your arm and held it gently between the two of you, standing so close, you were trapped between the railing and him.

“I can’t,” he said, his voice strangled. He looked down at you, face so pained, you almost believed him. 

And so it began, the two of you going back and forth, delivering your lines, monologues about your feelings for each other, and how nothing in the world mattered except holding the other person, even for a moment. 

Brad was finishing up, he was pacing back and forth in front of you while you listened intently.

“…And all this, because I love you.” He stopped in front of you now, hands coming up to cup your face. You did your best to get your expression to convey the love you (or Stephanie) were supposed to be feeling and then it happened. 

Brad leaned, crashing his lips onto yours. You throw your arms around him, meeting him just as eagerly, and tried your best not to think about all the people currently watching suck each other’s faces off. One of his hands traveled down to your waist while the other moved from your cheek to hold the back of your head as he dipped you. Cheers broke out across the crowd. 

You two stayed locked together like that for a few moments as the curtains closed, and then you broke apart. You were both panting, faces flushed, but you didn’t have time to think about what just happened. You and Brad had started moving off the balcony and onto the actual stage itself, the other members of the cast and crew joining you to take the final bow. 

You all lined up across the stage, hands interlocked. With you and Brad in the middle, the curtains opened. You could still hear the applause before, but now, it got even louder and you couldn’t help the big smile that overtook your face. People were whistling, and clapping, someone was even throwing roses. You all took a bow together, and rose together, throwing your interlocked hands in the air. 

Your body was buzzing with adrenaline. It was over, you’d actually done it. You could see Ms. Lightbody standing to the side, gleaming with pride at you all. 

Soon, you all let go of each other and started embracing and exchanging congratulations. Brad turned toward you and pulled you into a tight hug, lifting you up a little. You laughed, holding onto him just as tight. The applause seemed never-ending, even as you all started walking off stage. 

Now backstage, there was a buzz in the air. Not the same as a couple hours ago, which had been anxiety and nerves. This was triumph, pride, and adrenaline. 

“Alright everyone,” Ms. Lightbody approached the center of the room once everyone had reconvened. “We’ve finally finished. And it was a hit.”

That caused everyone to start whooping and shouting. She rolled her eyes but even she couldn’t hide the smile creeping onto her face. 

She held up a hand, “Okay. I just wanted to let you all know, how proud I am of each and every single one of you. You all worked so hard to make this happen and you worked through every problem that came your way.” She gave you a pointed look and the cheers started up again. 

You hid your face in your hands as your friends pulled you into side hugs. “And I just wanted to say,” she continued. “We’ve all had a long night. Leave the cleaning for another day, everyone, go celebrate!”

She waved her hands and everyone started cheering again, moving as one to the back door to meet up with their friends and family. 

As soon as you entered the hall you were bombarded by thanks and praises from your friends. You thanked them and threw their compliments right back at them, saying that this whole thing was a group effort. 

You were flying from one group to another, everyone shouting your name. You were currently with Noah, Jack, and Lacy, telling them how good a job they did on the sets when you heard your name being shouted out again.

You turned around and saw MJ. Grinning, you excused yourself from the group and charged at her, pulling her into a hug without giving her any time to protest. To your surprise, she pulled you in just as tight. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She mumbled into your hair. 

“Oh my god,” you started, “MJ it was insane. It all happened so fast, that Lexi got sick, so she didn’t show up! And I knew all the lines and stuff so I had to step in cause no one thought of casting an understudy and-,”

You pulled back from the hug but kept your hands on her shoulders. “Oh my god, what did you think? Was it bad? You can tell me -,”

“No! No way, holy shit Y/N, it was so good!” 

“Seriously?” you smiled at her. “What happened to the whole ‘school productions are so cringe’ mindset?”

“That was before her best friend was starring in one,” said Ned. You hadn’t realized he was standing beside you two, with Peter beside him.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” He continued. “The show was amazing. And you popping up on stage was a fun surprise.”

You grinned at him. “Thank you, Ned! I’m so happy you all made it.” You looked at Peter and offered him a small smile. He’d really helped you out today, and the fact that he’d made it to the actual show, and stuck it out till the end, meant a lot as well. 

“Oh of course we made it!” Ned cut it, putting your attention back on him. “Petey here wouldn’t shut up about it. Went out and bought you flowers and everything.”

Your mouth fell open at his words, and for the first time, you noticed the large bouquet in Peter’s arms. You saw Peter nudge his friend hard and Ned winced before his face lit up in understanding. He grabbed MJ by the hand (which she quickly yanked back from him) and said, “Ok, well we’re gonna go talk to someone else. Congrats Y/N!” But you didn’t have a chance to reply before he was scurrying off, MJ with him. 

You stared at them for a bit before turning all your attention to Peter. He cleared his throat before saying, “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“These are for you,” he said, holding out the bouquet of fresh flowers. You accepted them from him and brought them up to your nose, taking in a whiff of the sweet scent. 

“My favorite.” You whispered, fingers lightly tracing the petals. 

He nodded. “Yeah, um, I saw them and I thought you might like them. Especially with everything, you know,” he gestured vaguely, “thought you’d like some flowers.”

Your heart warmed at the thought that he saw your favorite flowers while he was out and thought of you. “Thank you, really. But you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” He admitted. 

You looked around, unable to meet his eyes. You focused on the floor, “Well thanks Parker, that was really sweet of you.”

He sighed, “Y/N please, I don’t want to-,”

But he got cut off by someone shouting your name. “Y/N!” Brad approaches you two. He looked Peter up and down before turning to you, “Hey, so the whole cast and stuff is going out for ice cream in our costumes, thought it’d be fun. Wanna join?”

Your face lit up, “Of course!” 

He grinned right back at you. “Great. Come on, they’re leaving now.

You turned towards Peter, whose expression looked harder than before. “Listen, thank you so much for your help today, it means a lot. And thank you for the flowers.”

He nodded but his attention was on Brad. He finally turned toward you, his expression notably softening, “Like I said before, anything for you Y/N/N.”

You stayed there for a bit, caught in his eyes, unable to look away. It isn’t until Brad places a hand on your shoulder that you realize you’ve been staring.

“Ready to go?” He asked. You nodded and turned to leave. As you were walking out the door, you turned to look over your shoulder. You weren’t even sure why, but as you did, you caught Peter already staring. You sent him a little wave and he returned it before turning and walking away himself, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

You walked to the ice cream shop with the others, still holding your flowers. And after everything that happened today, all you could think about was Peter. 

You had a blast. The ice cream shop was packed with a bunch of high school kids in old-timesy clothing, laughing and joking with each other. 

Brad had paid for your ice cream, despite your multiple refusals, claiming that they all owed you for stepping in and saving their asses.

“Consider it a thank you for that great kiss earlier.” He winked before walking off. 

That had gotten you to shut up. 

You all sat at tables surrounding each other, even pushing some together. You ate your ice cream in peace, joining the conversation every now and then to make a joke. 

Someone had gotten Lexi on the phone and you all said hello. She congratulated you and you thanked her, letting her know you thought it should’ve been her on that stage instead. She made some joke about ‘if you wanted the whole front row to be covered in vomit, then I totally should’ve been there, you’re right.’ And you all laughed.  

You had noticed Jack and Lacy moved to their own spot across the store. They were laughing together with Jack’s arm around her cocooning them from the world. It seemed they had finally gotten together and you couldn’t be more happy for them.

For some reason, the only thing on your mind was Spider-Man. It was silly but all you could think about was finding a way to make things right with him. It sucked that you had no way to reach him, but you’d decided to wait on the roof tonight, hoping he’d see you while swinging and stop by. Even if he left right after you apologized, you wouldn’t mind. You just wanted to see him. 

You realized how late it was getting, and that it was usually now when you met up with him. So you'd asked Martha, (her mom helped with costumes, but she worked on the props) for a ride back since she had a car and lived in an apartment building near yours. 

She quickly agreed, claiming she was ready to go too, but she had to walk back to the school to grab her car. 

So you’d waited, but you couldn’t fight off your anxiety. Your leg kept bouncing up and down. You stayed like that for a while before Brad put a hand on your knee, stopping the action.

“You alright,” he asked, some sort of half-smile on his face. You looked at him then and thought, I can see why people like you Brad. He was kind, he was funny, he was fairly handsome, pretty popular too. And yet all you could think about was heading back home and waiting for someone you didn’t even really know. 

You nodded, “Yeah, I’m just waiting for Martha to pull up.”

“I could walk you home if you wanted.” He offered. 

You smiled but shook your head, “No, but thank you, I’m kind of in a rush.”

“Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine.” You assured him. “Just…tired.”

“Yeah,” he nodded at you. “I get that. But hey.”

You looked up at him expectantly. 

“Before you go there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Your eyes shot open. “Oh?” You said, and it felt oddly reminiscent of that moment the two of you shared in the hall. 

“Yeah. Would you wanna go out with me sometime?”

“Like a date?” You blurted out. Like an idiot, you thought. You knew it was coming and yet you’re acting like he just told you he was Taylor Swift. 

He smiled at you and nodded, “Yeah, like a date.”

Oh Martha, where are you?

You were silent for a few seconds before you cleared your throat. There was no crawling away this time, no Peter running to interrupt. You had to face this. 

“I really like you Brad but…I can’t out with you.”

His expression fell a little, but he didn’t look surprised. “It’s Parker, isn’t it?”

You were taken aback. “Huh?”

He nodded his head towards and flowers lying in your lap, “Parker. I saw you two today. When he was helping before the show, that was all for you. He sat front row before he even knew you were going to be on that stage.”

You blew out a breath and ran a hand through your hair, which you’d taken out of its updo. “I don’t know.” You told him honestly. “I don’t know and that’s the problem. Things are still really weird between me and him, and going out with you? That wouldn’t be fair to me or you.” And the other person you couldn’t wait to see.

He nodded again, understanding coating his features. “I get that, but hey,” he smiled at you, “we’re still friends right?”

You grinned wide, relief flowing through you. The last thing you’d wanted to do was hurt his feelings and you were so glad he was taking this so well. 

“Of course we are,” you replied honestly. Right then, your phone started ringing and you stood up to answer. Martha was outside waiting for you.

You walked back to your table, saying your goodbyes to everyone. You were pulled into hugs and thanked a few more times. You really wanted to take your time but you couldn’t stop the part of you that wanted to rush home and sprint onto the rooftop. 

As soon as you were out the door you were sprinting to the car. You spent the whole ride anxiously fiddling with the bouquet of flowers from Peter. 

You barely thanked her as you stepped out the door, closing it and waving goodbye as she pulled away. 

You rushed straight up the stairs, wasting no minute. You felt hopeful, for the first time in a long time. You were going to make sure he knew you were sorry, make sure the two of you remained friends. 

You stepped onto the roof, the wind blowing around you. Only then did you realize you were still in your costume. That didn’t matter though, you didn’t want to risk going down to change. And you were sure that if he did stop by tonight, he would love to hear about the crazy day you had. 

You stepped close to the ledge, setting the bouquet down by your feet and you leaned over slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of the hero you’d come to think of as a friend. 

A weird sense of familiarity washed over you, and you realized, this was exactly what you’d been doing a few hours ago. Standing on that makeshift balcony, waiting for your lover to come so you could make amends. Except, this wasn’t a fake balcony, and there was no way you and Spider-Man were lovers, barely friends at best. But still, there was something familiar there.

You waited. And waited. Just when you were starting to give up hope, you heard the small thwip you’d come to realize signaled his arrival. Soon after, you heard a pair of feet land in the middle of your rooftop. 

You turned toward him, heart racing. For a moment neither of you said anything, just stared at each other, but you quickly decided you needed to get your words out before he left again like last night.

“I am so sorry. I’ve been so worried since last night that I upset you and I can't stand it, please would you-,”

Oh….oh.

Before you could even inhale to get your next word out, he was walking towards you, ripping his mask off, gripping your face, and pulling you into a deep kiss.

You didn’t even get to see him but that was the last thought on your mind. He was kissing you. And it was perfect. Your hands flew up to his hair, and you tugged slightly, making him kiss you even harder.

His mouth moved against yours like he’d been waiting his whole life to do this, and couldn’t believe he finally got the chance. You met him just as eagerly, for each kiss, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips on yours.

Something about this, all of it, felt so, so familiar. But every time you made to pull away, his lips chased yours and you couldn’t help but give in. 

Soon enough you both pulled away to catch your breaths, eyes still shut as you leaned into each other, foreheads touching. You enjoyed the moment for a bit, and then you opened your eyes, about to make a joke about how that was an interesting way to accept an apology.

You gasped out loud, hands flying up to cover your mouth as you stumbled backward. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered. “Oh my god.”

“Y/N/N, I’m so sorry,” he says. Peter says. Because it’s Peter standing in front of you right now and he didn’t seem to be the least bit taken aback by your reaction.

You’re unsure what to say to him, your head is reeling and you can't breathe. 

“Oh my god,” you repeated, your voice barely a breath. 

“Y/N, please, please let me explain.” He stepped toward you and reached out a hand. 

You shook your head so quick, that you thought you might give yourself whiplash. “No. This,” you pointed at him, “is so sick, Peter.” Your voice broke at the end and you tried to fight back the tears that were already burning in your eyes. 

His eyes widened. “Y/N I promise you, it’s not what you think-,”

“What do you think I think Peter?” You asked him, voice full of exasperation. “Because I think, you lied to me. I think, you played me for a fool. I think, you’re sick and twisted for sitting here with me every night and playing friends with me. Asking me about my day, pretending to care. Fuck, asking me about my ex. Continuously,

“I think,” you continued, tears flowing freely now, voice shaky and weak, but still conveying your anger. “I think you got me to trust you, again. Just so you could stomp all over every bit of me, again!”

“It’s not like that Y/N, it was never like that. Please, believe me, sweetheart. Please don’t cry.” He begged, looking like it was taking every muscle in his body to hold himself back from pulling you in again. 

“Why should I believe you?” You snapped at him. It was hard for him to believe that, just a minute ago, he was holding you again. Kissing you like nothing else in the world mattered. He’d give anything to have that back.

“Because every moment we had out here was real! Every concern, every question. I was never playing pretend, I just, ugh!” He groaned out loud, dropping his head in his hands, and tugging his hair tightly before looking up at you again. “I fucked up Y/N,” his voice is watery, and because you can’t undo the time you spent together, as Peter and as Spider-Man, you can’t help the strong impulses you feel to hold him tight. But you stand your ground and wait for him to continue.

“First when I didn’t tell you about this,” he said gesturing towards his suit. “Which has its own reasons. And then again, when I bailed on you all those times, which was because of this. And again when I let you walk away from me that night at school. I should’ve fought for you, I should’ve shown up more, I should’ve shown up every time and never given you any reason to not trust me,

“But I didn’t. And you called things off… And at that moment, all I could think was you, walking down the streets of New York, crying, and distracted.” He shuddered and your heart fell. You’d never thought of it like that. “You don’t know the things I’ve seen,” he said, looking up at you, eyes red and face flushed. 

“So I thought I’d just walk you home, make sure you got there safely, and then I’d start staying away. But it was you,” his voice broke. “And you were so upset and all I could think was that it’s my fault and I hated myself. So when you invited me to hang out on the roof with you, I thought I’d show up, try to cheer you up a little,

“And you made me tea, that night,” he laughed softly. “I don’t think you even realized, but you made it the way I always drink my tea. My favorite.” Your mouth fell open a little when you realized you had, in fact, made his favorite tea that night. He’d told you during a late-night conversation before you two had started dating, and ever since, it was the only tea you drank. 

“So I had to stay,” he continued. “And then we started talking, and you were joking, and telling me things I had no idea about. And I never wanted to leave,” he admitted softly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked him, pointing at his mask on the floor, voice raspy from the tears still clogged in your throat. “When we were still together? I’ll bet that's why you were always bailing, isn’t it?”

He looked down and nodded. “It is. Or was. I wanted to,” he looked up at you suddenly, his face so sincere, that you could feel the desperation in his next words. “God Y/N, you have no idea how many times I almost did. But I stopped myself every time because the risks of you knowing were too high.”

“Risks?” You asked confused.

He nodded, “I’ve met a lot of people. Bad people. And if the one catches wind of this, of you? If someone ever tried something, I’d never forgive myself.” He looked away shaking his head.

“So no one knows?”

He shook his head again. “Only Ned and May.”

“Ned knows?” You knew they were best friends, but really?

“It's not like that, no.” He waved his hand. “He found out by accident. He was waiting in my room one day, and I crawled in through the window ‘cause I didn’t see him.”

You huff out a breath from your nose. That was so Peter. You’d bet money that May found out in some similar situation.

“Wait,” you started, “if we went through all of that, and you still didn’t tell me, why tell me now?”

“Because I can’t stand to be away from you any longer.” His voice sounded broken, like he’d been dying to get that off his chest.

He stepped closer again, and you didn’t push him away this time, much to his surprise. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of you.

“I’ll protect you from anything or anyone that may come your way. I’d do anything for you sweetheart,” he repeated his words from earlier and you felt something grow in your chest. One of his hands came up to cup your cheek, the other, moving to your waist. Your hands rose up to lay on his chest. 

“God, you have no idea how much it was killing me to sit beside you all those nights and not be able to touch you.” He whispered, staring straight into your eyes. 

You met his gaze. You believed him, every word. You’d known Peter for years, you knew when he was lying to you, which was part of why you broke up with him. You knew he was lying to you, or holding something back from you, you just didn’t know what. But you still had a few more questions. 

“Last night. Why did you run off? Why didn’t you just tell me then?”

“Because I was a coward,” he admitted, expression sad. “I was enjoying it all too much, I wasn’t ready to ruin it yet. I still couldn’t believe I found a way to still talk to you, and you were asking to see me,” he blew out a breath.

Yeah, obviously that didn’t initially start well. 

You nodded. “And when you kept asking me about you. About my ex and how I felt about him, why?” That part still had you confused

He looked up, closing his eyes, “I won’t lie to you sweetheart, that was just me being a dumbass. That was complete selfishness and…,”

He trailed off. “And what?” You questioned him. There was some unspoken thing you two were doing right now, that you could ask anything, and he’d answered honestly. It was the least he could do. 

“And jealously,” he finished quietly, looking down at the ground.

“Jealousy?” You repeated, still confused. “But who would you be jealous of…oh.”

And it was then that you realized how you’d talked about Brad to Spider-Man (before you knew who he was of course), and how, right after, when he’d asked about Peter, you’d said something about just trying to forget the whole thing. You had to hold back a laugh when you remembered all that. Poor guy must’ve been going insane. 

He nodded. “You kept talking about that Brad guy and talking about trying to get over me. And I hated that you seemed to be getting over me so quick. Like I said, completely selfish. I'm sorry.”

“No,” you shook your head, “that makes sense actually. But seriously Peter..” You trailed off, shaking your head again.

Worry crept onto his features, “I know I messed up Y/N/N, big time, but I’m willing to do anything-,”

“You really thought I was into Brad?” You asked, wrinkling your nose up at him. 

He let out a breath of relief, before laughing a little. God, he was so happy you were joking with him. 

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours, “I’m sorry sweetheart.”

“You’re forgiven,” you told him, the sincerity in your tone impossible to miss, and he knew you were talking about more than the crazy jealousy. 

He looked down into your eyes, his gaze so intense you almost went to look away. “I’m the luckiest man alive,” he whispered, his voice so low, you wondered if he even meant to say it out loud.

His eyes flickered down to your lips, and you took that as your cue. You leaned in, closing the gap between you. He kissed you back instantly. It was softer than the one earlier, but way more meaningful. Every press of his lips on yours felt like repairing something. Mending whatever it was that had broken between the two of you.

You pulled away first because you knew he wouldn’t, but he didn’t let you get far. He started planting kisses all over your face.

"Have I told you," Kiss. "How beautiful," Kiss. "I think you look tonight? And every night."

You laughed, face heating up at his compliments. "Thank you, Petey."

"I love it when you call me that." He said, grinning like a lovesick idiot. He leaned in and kissed your cheek one more time before he pulled away again. 

"I didn't like it." He said, a frown on his face.

"Didn't like what babe?" You asked, tilting your head up at him while your fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He let out a sigh, "The breakup. Being broken up. Not talking to you, as me, I mean. Not as Spider-Man. And I sure as hell didn't like seeing some other guy make out with my girl in front of everyone."

You laughed and you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach when he called you his girl. "Well don't worry," you told him, moving your hands to cup his face. "We're not doing that again, not if we can help it."

You leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips, before pulling away, which made him whine. 

 He moved his hands to your shoulder as he buried his face in your neck, breathing in your scent. 

“You drive me crazy, sweetheart.” He said, voice muffled by your skin. 

You giggled, “You drive me crazier, Peter Parker.”

‘crazier’ taglist: @coralineyouareinterribledanger @666yourmomdotcom

[skyahri]

Retire |Kakashi X Reader| HC

Summary: You need some convincing to leave ANBU.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and depression. Mentions of suicide. A bit angsty and self-destructive, but fluffy overall.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

Even though he'd retired a few years back, you were still an active ANBU captain.

The job was grueling, and he was well aware that the longer you stayed, the worse the missions became.

That isn't just because of the overall baggage people acquire, but because seasoned black ops were often sent on the more... unethical missions.

You'd been acting off recently. He had let it go at first, knowing how taxing the line of work could be, but something in his mind was bugging him to investigate.

He assumed everything had started to actually get to you, so he decided to check in on you between missions with team 7.

He knocked on your door. It took a minute, but you answered.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but this wasn't it.

Your appearance was appalling.

You'd lost a lot of weight, you had bags under your eyes, and you reeked of alcohol.

"Just checking in on you. It's been a while."

"Yeah, Tsunade has me on back to back missions. This is my first break in months."

He had assumed his intensive schedule with his team was the thing keeping you two apart, but apparently not.

"How about you get cleaned up while I go get us something to eat? My treat."

"I'm pretty tired, Kashi. I think I'd like to continue rotting for the time being. Thanks for the offer, though."

You gently shut the door in his face.

A sour look plastered itself on his face.

Unfortunately, your use of rotting didn't seem too far off, so he decided to talk to a third party about it.

His first stop was to see Tenzo. Maybe he knew what was up since you two worked so closely.

"I've noticed as well. I tried to ask, but they told me it wasn't appropriate for subordinates to question their captain."

Add that to the list of odd behavior.

You loved Tenzo like family, just like Kakashi did, so the sudden change was worrisome.

He went to ask Asuma as well, knowing he had been in the village more often than he had recently.

Asuma pulled him inside his home and away from prying eyes. Last thing he wanted was the wrong person hearing such a sensitive information.

"We already talked to Tsunade about it months ago when we noticed a decline in her health. Word got back to them, they said something about breach of trust, and they haven't spoken to any of us since."

Kakashi just nodded.

He remembered a time where he also reacted poorly when he'd been questioned in a similar manner.

The only difference is lord Third actually listened instead of allowing him to dig himself deeper into an early grave.

He dwelled on it for a few days.

He cared about you deeply. It was different than any of his other friendships- more personal and open.

The last thing he wanted was to go behind your back and end up with the same treatment the rest of the group was getting.

So he put on his big boy pants and showed up at your door again with vengeance.

He had been practicing what he'd say the whole way over. He needed to be prepared for anything you threw at him so he didn't falter.

But when you opened the door, his fire simmered out.

You just looked so tired.

His words got stuck in his throat.

So he did the only thing he could think of - he just walked forward, straight into you, and wrapped you up in a hug.

You resisted at first, but the second his warmth hit your bones, you relaxed.

It only lasted for a moment before the feelings started to set in, causing your body to shake with sobs.

You fell to the ground, dragging him with you, but his hold didn't loosen one bit.

"It's okay. I'm here for you."

That only made things worse. Something about his comfort was making all the feelings you've worked so hard to repress bubble up to the surface.

After you'd visibly calmed down, he'd picked you up and carried you to the couch. He positioned you so you'd be touching as much as possible without him being too forward.

"I hate ANBU."

Straight to the point. He wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"Why don't you retire? It's been almost fifteen years. That's way longer than most make it."

You hesitated. You had a reason, but the thought of saying it out loud made it sound so silly.

One look at Kakashi’s face told you he wasn't messing around.

You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. It made it easier to answer without him looking at you.

"If it's not me going out there, its someone else. I'm already too far gone, may as well save someone else from this fate."

Oh.

Kakashi had fully been expecting some sort of 'I can handle it' response, but this one was so... awful. Just absolutely heart-wrenching.

He collected his thoughts, trying to find a way to reason with you.

"There are people in ANBU who can handle that kind of mental load. You were that person many years ago,"

You just looked at him with that sad, defeated face, and it broke his heart all over again.

"But that's not the case anymore. It's time to pass on the torch."

You shook your head, ready to get up and kick him out. He just pulled you back down and held your hands in his.

"I was so angry when I was forced to retire. I felt like I could do more, like it wasn't that bad, and everyone was underestimating me. Do you know what happens when shinobi like us aren't told to quit?"

You shook your head.

"They end up like my father."

You stayed silent after that. How could you argue when he had just pulled the dead dad card?

So you promised to think about it.

He knew that would be as good as it would get, so he dropped it and opted to switch to a lighter subject.

After an hour or so of talking, you fell asleep. He carried you to your bed and tucked you in. He thought about staying over, but decided against it.

He didn't see you the next day. He'd knocked on your door, but no one answered, and he couldn't sense you inside.

He hoped you were just busy and not on another mission.

He did see you the next day, however.

He was heading to the Hokage's tower to chat with Tsunade about team 7's next mission when he bumped into you.

You smiled at him.

It felt like he was looking at a different person. You were almost glowing. Your eyes seemed a bit brighter, face looked a little fuller, and overall vibe was less damming.

"I retired this morning."

He damn near hugged you in front of the whole village.

"That's great to hear."

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Teenage Dreams (13 going on 30 AU) - part 1

Eddie Munson x Reader

Being 13 sucked, all the cliques and groups in school, fighting for popularity and all you wanted to be was 30, flirty and thriving, just like the cool girls in Star Magazine.

Next Part ->

Word Count:2,763.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Masterlist // Eddie Munson Masterlist

*dividers by @saradika-graphics

Thirteen, what a terribly awkward age for anyone to be. Never quite sure about where you were supposed to fit in. All the popular girls would pour over the latest gossip magazine, nattering about which heart-throb of the month they thought was hotter. You couldn’t help but overhear the shrill giggling about how far they’d gone with their boyfriends, with a scandalised scream from the group when Stacy Evans revealed how she had made out with her boyfriend at Jessie Miller’s party last week. The boys weren’t much better either, all hanging out in their groups, guffawing and joking, rating seemingly every girl in the cafeteria on a scale of one to ten.

And you weren’t an exception to this, no. As you carefully weave your way through the bustling school’s cafeteria, balancing your tray in your arms you catch the attention of Jason Carver, the most bone-headed of all the boys, but he was a promising young talent in the school’s basketball team, so he got away with a lot of the stuff he did and said, with nothing more than a light warning breezing past him.

“Nice Hello Kitty shirt, did your mommy pick that out for you?” comes Jason’s shouted remark, high-fiving his crew when they laughed at his joke.

“Hey, Carver, leave her alone! All you care about is throwing balls into laundry baskets anyway!” and there was Eddie, your best friend in the whole world, always at your side through thick and thin. He slings a friendly arm over your shoulder as he walks with you to your usual seats. “How’s it feel to be turning the big one-three, you’re officially a teenager now!” He laughs playfully.

“Don’t remind me!” you squeal back, shoving his shoulder with a laugh of your own.

As you walk with him to your seats, you are once again stopped in your tracks, confronted by Nancy Wheeler, the school’s resident popular girl and her small army of followers who went with her everywhere.

“Hey, bestie can I talk to you for a moment?” she narrows her eyes towards Eddie “Y’know, just us girls.”

“Alright, I can take the hint, Wheeler. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” Eddie smiles before walking off.

“The girls and I were so excited about coming to your birthday party tonight, and I told Steve Harrington about it and he said he wanted to come with us,” Nancy started, twirling a dark, bouncy curl around her finger.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but Mrs.O’Donnell is up our ass about this group project, and Steve said he would help us out, so I guess nobody is going to be able to make it, which is a shame, because we really all wanted to come.” she says with a tilt of her head and an almost pleading look in her blue eyes.

“I could write your report for you.” you offer.

“Fabulous!” she cheers, her pink lip gloss glinting under the fluorescent lights “Then I’ll see you at your party I guess.” She smiles, and with that, Nancy is gone, her gaggle of girls following closely behind her.

Eddie walks beside you as you make your way home, your backpack slouching down your shoulders with every step.

“Y’know I can’t believe you invited Nancy and her army of girls to your party tonight.” Eddie grumbles

“They’re my friends!” you defend.

“Nancy and her clones are not your friends, okay?”

“Well not yet anyway, but they’re so popular and I just think if I could get them to like me, maybe I could hang out with them.” you explain. “I mean it’s middle school, right? And not being popular is like, total social suicide.”

“I thought you didn’t care about that stuff! Why would you even want to hang out with them in the first place? You’re way cooler than them. They’re always so concerned about following “the latest trends”, they’re all so unoriginal!”

“I don’t want to be original, Eddie, I want to be cool!” you whine.

Eddie shakes his head at you dismissively, before reaching into his pocket.

“Want some skittles?” he asks, pulling out the brightly coloured packet.

“Skittles are for kids, Eddie.” you scoff with a laugh before holding your hand open to him.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” he smiles, dumping a handful of skittles into your palm. “I’ll see you at your party later, birthday girl.” 

You wrap your arms around him in a hug, saying your goodbyes,  before going your separate ways.

You fluff your hair in the mirror, swiping on a sparkly layer of strawberry pink lip gloss and adding the finishing touches to your baby blue eyeshadow. The electric sound of Van Halen’s ‘Jump’ stream through the tape player in your bedroom, it was a mixtape Eddie had put together for you for your birthday last year full of all the songs that he knew you liked plus a few more that he thought you might enjoy.

You turn yourself around in the mirror one final time, smoothing down the wrinkles on your flouncy pink party dress with your hands before putting down your lip gloss on your cluttered vanity table when you hear your mother knocking at your bedroom door.

“Honey! Can I come in?” she calls out.

You offer her a grumble of affirmation and she swings her way into your room.

“There’s my little birthday girl!” she squeals, pinching your cheeks.

You pull away from her, groaning with embarrassment.

“Mom! Stop teasing me, I’m not a little girl anymore, okay! I’ve got to look perfect if I want to get in with Nancy and her friends!”

“Oh, darling, you don’t need to worry about stuff like that. Just because you don’t look like the girls in Star Magazine, doesn’t mean that you’re not beautiful in your own way.”

“But I don’t wanna be beautiful in my own way!” you whine. “I wanna be like these girls.” you say, pointing to the beautiful, fashion model in the magazine spread out on your bed. They seemed to have it all figured out, always looking so effortlessly beautiful and carefree, without the stress of teen angst looming over them at all times. Thirty, flirty and thriving, the article had read, and that’s what you wanted. To be a flirty thirty-year-old without a care in the world.

“Sweetie, there’s a reason you don’t look like these girls, they’re models.” comes your mother’s response.

“I want to be thirty.” you pout.

Your mother hugs you close, placing a kiss to your forehead.

“You’ll get there one day, but until then, you’re my beautiful thirteen-year-old daughter.”

You’re alone in the basement of your house where it’s been decorated to within an inch of it’s life, brightly coloured streamers hang from the ceiling and a sparkly ‘happy birthday’ banner is plastered to the wall.

Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ music video plays from the small tv in the corner of the room, and you can’t help but join in with the familiar dance. When the music video first came out, you and Eddie had spent ages learning the routine religiously, it was one of the few songs that you both liked, the music being fun and funky enough for your tastes, whilst the music video was the right amount of creepy and spooky to capture Eddie’s attention.

You get lost in the music, the dance moves so ingrained in your brain that they come second nature to you, so much so that you fail to hear the creaking footsteps as Eddie descends his way down the steps to the basement.

“Happy Birthday!” he shouts, carrying a large pink box in his arms all neatly tied up with a sparkly bow. “I’ve got you a special present!”

“Oh my god, Eddie!”  you beam. “You know you didn’t have to get me anything!”

“And come to my best friend’s birthday party empty-handed, come on, you know that’s not my style.” he smirks as he sets down the box on the table. 

“What is it?” you look at him eagerly.

“Well it’s your birthday present, why don’t you go ahead and open it up and find out?”

You pull at the ribbon bow and lift open the box to reveal a carefully hand-built princess castle dollhouse. It’s carefully made with lots of little cardboard boxes stuck together, painted a soft baby pink, complete with hand-painted twirling vine flowers climbing up the spiral towers. Inside the walls are lined with lavender paper and colourful candy wrappers in place of stained glass windows.

“Remember, how you said you wanted the Barbie princess castle for your birthday last year? Well I wanted to give you something better than Barbie’s castle, and give you your own castle.” he smiles. “Look, and there you are, the birthday princess in her castle!” he smiles, nodding towards the miniature princess figurine, painted to look exactly like you in the mock-up throne room. “It was a D&D miniature I had been saving for this exact moment!”

“Oh Eddie this is beautiful!” you bubble, this was the sweetest thing that anybody had ever done for you.

“Wait! I almost forgot the best bit!” he smirks, reaching into his pocket to pull out another miniature D&D figure. “Can’t have a princess castle without a knight in shining armour to protect it now, can you?” It was a small knight, painted to look like Eddie, with his long dark curls, holding up a sword and a shield. “Thought you might need me to help protect you and your castle from those pesky dragons.”

You marvel at the amount of thought, care and attention to detail that Eddie had put into your present, your smile beaming across your face.

“And for the finishing touch, just a sprinkle of wishing dust!” he says, sprinkling a small amount of iridescent silver glitter over the castle.

“Wishing dust?” 

“Yeah, wishing dust knows what’s in your heart of hearts, your true desires and will make all your dreams come true.”

You and Eddie have a moment of peace, before the doorbell sounds out across the house.

“Oh they’re here!” you squeak, rushing around to tidy up as best as you can before letting Nancy in. “I’m just going to put this away for a moment, just so there’s room for everyone here.” you say picking up Eddie’s hand-made castle and putting it in the broom closet.  “Put on some music, please Eddie!”

You make your way to the front door, quickly smoothing your hands down your party dress before opening the door to Nancy and her gang of girls.

“Come on in, the party’s downstairs.” you smile, gesturing for everyone to make their way into your house. One by one all the girls follow Nancy inside, everybody shedding their jackets and dumping them into your arms as they go.

Just as you were about to close the door, Steve Harrington rolls up, with his friends Tommy and Billy trailing closely behind him. He was so cute, way more popular than you’ll ever be, but it never stopped you having a crush on him. He was the boy that all the girls wanted, with his head full of soft, shiny, bouncy hair and charming smile, it wasn’t hard to see why he had all the girls falling at his feet. The most popular guy in school, and he was coming to your birthday party. 

“Hey, Steve!” you wave him in, trying to play it cool. “The party's just getting started, come on in!”

Downstairs everyone was gathered together, and Eddie had put on his music, a noisy mix of screeching guitar strings and heavy drum beats. I suppose in leaving him in charge of the music, he was bound to play a little Metallica.

Although, however much Eddie was rocking out to Master Of Puppets, everyone else turned their nose up at his music choices. Particularly Nancy, who took it upon herself to wander over to the stereo, flick the switch off and eject the tape from the player, filling the room with immediate silence.

“You know, it’s only you who actually likes this music, freak.” Nancy sneers, pushing the tape into Eddie’s hands.

“Whatever,” Eddie shakes his head, making his way over to you “I’m going to head next door, go get my guitar, okay?” 

“Do whatever you want, Eddie. It’s not like I need a play-by-play of everything.” you tell him, in an effort to look cool in front of Nancy and her friends, which earns you a tittering giggle from the group.

“See you later, loser!” comes a whining laugh from one of Nancy’s friends as Eddie walks away.

“Hey, I have an idea of how we could spice up this party!” Nancy pipes up, flouncing across the room. “We could play Seven Minutes in heaven!” 

Everyone nods, a murmur of agreement sounding.

“..And since you’re the birthday girl, it’s only fitting that you go first.” she smirks, taking her satin scarf from around her neck and tying around your eyes as a blindfold, before walking you towards the open door of the broom closet. “You just go in there, and we’ll choose some lucky guy to follow you in, and then he gets to do whatever he wants with you for seven whole minutes. I know Steve is dying to spend some one-on-one time with you” comes her bubblegum sweet voice in your ear.

Nancy steers you into the closet, her hands on your shoulders.

“Before I forget, you did write my project report for Mrs. O'Donnell's class, right?” she asks.

“Yeah it’s on the table.” you nod.

“Thanks. Remember, keep that blindfold on and no peeking! Oh! And by the way, Steve’s big on going to second base.”

Nancy quietly locks the closet door, leaving you stuck inside waiting for your perfect first kiss with Steve Harrington.

Nancy and her gaggle of girls, along with Steve, Billy and Tommy make their way out of your basement, walking back up the stairs, passing Eddie as he comes back down.

“What’s going on?” Eddie asks, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“She’s waiting for you in that closet over there!” and with that Nancy leaves, quickly dashing from the party in favour of something more her scene.

Eddie shakes his head, Nancy had been bitchy enough to think that it was funny to leave you locked up in the cramped space of the broom-closet. He unlocks the door to see you sitting on the floor of the cramped up space, with the scarf tied around your eyes.

“I thought you weren’t going to come.” you say softly, thinking that finally you were going to get the chance to kiss Steve Harrington. “Where are you? I can’t feel you.” your soft voice comes out as you reach your hands out to find your man of mystery.

Eddie quietly allows himself the moment to reach his hand out to yours, letting his fingers interlock with yours.

“Oh Steve, I knew you were worth waiting for.” you sigh dreamily.

“Sorry to burst your bubble” Eddie laughs uncomfortably.

“Eddie?! What are you doing here?” you gasp, pulling the blindfold from your eyes. “Where’s Steve? Where’s everybody gone?” 

“They all left!” 

“What did you do?” you ask accusatorily.

“I didn’t do anything! I just went to get my guitar, and when I came back everyone was leaving!” Eddie defends.

You feel the red hot flare of embarrassment eating away in the pit of your stomach. Embarrassed that Nancy would actually want to be your friend, embarrassed that someone like Steve would actually go for a girl like you, but most of all upset at the fact that in reality, nobody wanted to come to your birthday party.

“No, get out!” you cry, pushing Eddie away from you.

“Wait! Please just let me talk to you! Please!” he pleads, but it all falls on deaf ears as you sink back into the closet, closing the door, leaving you to sit with your emotions.

“Leave me alone Eddie! I hate you, I hate me, I hate everybody!” you cry out shrinking into yourself, bringing your knees up to your chest, and slumping your head in your folded arms, letting your frustrated tears fall freely.

“I want to be thirty!” you cry out. “I wish I was thirty, flirty and thriving!”

A glistening sparkle washes over you, as you hug yourself tighter, wishing so hard that all of this was just a bad dream, that you were going to wake up from this and be living your dream life.

Thirty, flirty and thriving.

@paybacksawitch @penguinsandpotterheads @ali-r3n @aphrogeneias @eddiesxangel @mrsjellymunson @munsonology @onegirlmanytales @xxbimbobunnyxx

[katuschka]

Pierrot Sleeps

Josh Kiszka x f!OC/reader

/friends to lovers/

8.036 words

I dedicate this one to everyone who needs some healing...

Pierrot sleeps, silently He’s dreaming next to me Painted black tear, on his soft face And the sweetest lips; they never speak to me My Pierrot sleeps (Barbora Mochowa – Pierrot)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): heartbreak, unrequitted love, pining for a friend, breakup, friends to lovers, slow burn, sweet Josh, kissing, fluff, smut: petting, oral sex, vag. sex, a few allusions to a suicise of a minor character (in the past), briefly mentioned attempted suicide (retrospective), depressive thoughts, expressive language, bad weather

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At least it stopped raining… eventually.

Josh had expected there would be morning fog, so the fact that the world around them was shrouded in a thick blanket of clouds did not surprise him. Not only was it just as the forecast predicted, but he had been even looking forward to it. Foggy woods looked dreamy at this time of year. They’d have the best time, surely, and he could take a lot of pictures... 

He however did not expect to be woken up by heavy rain drumming on the roof above them, and – on top of that – a whole half an hour before the alarm clock was supposed to rouse them. Too early to be happy about being awake, and too little time left to go back to sleep. Had it been the fall morning sun shining right into his face, he wouldn’t say a word. But rainfall? That didn’t go according to the plan. 

He had been warned though, and despite his own nature, he chose to believe the technology instead. 

The initial rhythmic patter only grew in intensity and it soon sounded as if the cabin was built right under a waterfall. That, together with the obtrusive light coming from the screen of his phone, finally woke her too. She didn’t make herself known at first. She listened silently for several seconds to the downpour growing stronger and waiting for his reaction with malicious glee. She was rewarded pretty soon, and his loud, annoyed grunt made her chuckle. 

“Told you…,” she mumbled from under the cozy blanket sleepily, suddenly hopeful that they’d just stay inside, sipping sahlep in front of the fireplace. She would eat almond truffles and he could have his dried apple chips, or whatever. Maybe they could even try to play a game of chess. Josh had been telling her that he didn’t have the right brain for that, but she was adamant; and determined to teach him. His annoyed face, illuminated by the light blue light, however told that it probably wasn’t the best day for that. Again. 

They had been both really looking forward to the trip, so she wasn’t even sure why she suddenly felt almost glad that their hiking plans might be ruined. The prospect of getting wet and numb with cold didn’t appeal to her at all, but it usually didn’t stop her. And when it did (When the heavens literally opened just like that morning), she’d be pretty pissed off for being forced to stay inside. Not this time though. Not when she was enveloped with the warmth and the scent of him. And that was something she had been looking forward to even more.

They shared the bed, just like many times before, just like friends often do. The cabin had two separate bedrooms, but it didn’t even occur to them to part their ways for the night. Not when the whole point of this trip was not to be alone. That would be silly. 

And just like many mornings before, she closed her eyes again in a pretense of having fallen back to sleep just to revel in the morning smell of his body close to her for a little bit longer. But he wouldn’t be fooled by her closed eyes; being already quite familiar with her breathing patterns. 

“Yeah, you did, weather girl, but let’s not get discouraged, yeah? The…the app says it’ll be over in an hour. So, we’re still on schedule. AND it also says there might be some sunlight by midday, and so does the radar… Hey, hey, wake up! Tea?” 

“Coffee!” she huffed in exasperation. After all that time, he still kept trying. Coffee’s bad for you, blah blah blah… And maybe he was right. Just look at him! Fit and bubbly, filled with sunshine and energy right from the moment his eyes opened to greet the new day. Even when he was hurting, he always mustered enough energy to fill every room with light and love. As long as there were other people willing to share the moment with him, he was ok. Meanwhile, she felt like Gollum, torn between love and hate for the things that kept her (barely) functioning. Not just coffee… him, too. Her precious. She kept pursuing him, seeking his presence, while hoping that one day, she would be free, while not really wanting to. It was always the worst on mornings like this one, when she almost had him in her grasp, and then he always slipped out, because he was never hers. 

She watched him fumbling for his clothes in semi darkness, pondering. Sleeping just in his briefs right next to her never seemed to faze him, and the thought always made her heart sink. Maybe he didn’t like the way she looked, so he never considered those moments to be overly intimate. That’s fine. But didn’t it ever occur to him how much she loved his body? Probably not. They were such good friends, after all. Right? Truth be told, she really tried her best to hide the truth from him. There were so many things to say, but she never did. 

‘Come back to bed.’ What a simple request; one that people often say in situations like this one. ‘Come back to bed and just be with me. The world can wait…’ Yet she couldn't. She had no privilege to ask that. 

Such good friends. That’s what everyone kept saying: ‘You two are such good friends.’ Everyone except Jake; that nosy, observant asshole. He mentioned his suspicion just once, and then abandoned the topic forever after she made it VERY clear that she didn’t want to discuss it and threatened to cut his balls off if he ever mentioned that to Josh.

They had been so close from the very start – she and Josh – despite the fact that they were from two seemingly different worlds. Or maybe because of that, because he seemed to deliberately seek the company of the people who didn’t care what he was. He didn’t have to pretend anything in front of her; she just let him be himself, even when it was not always nice or flattering. She loved all of him. 

Yeah, she did. She loved him. And she knew she would from the moment she first saw him, when he ran into the coffee shop she worked in to hide from the rain... 

The bell chimed, and she looked up, together with several other people, all of them surprised by the sudden commotion that disrupted the serenity of that lazy afternoon. He literally fell through the door, giggling awkwardly before he looked around, beaming and taking everything in, like a child in a toy store.  

Are you familiar with those cheeky and extremely cliche movie scenes when the hero sees the object of their desire for the very first time and everything suddenly turns to slow motion? So melodramatic and stupid, very stupid indeed; so stupid they use it mostly in parodies these days. And yet, it’s also exactly what happened to her when her eyes first fell on the dampened halo of his messy curls. What a tiny, beautiful, ethereal man. He looked like an angel on vacation, dressed in pale jeans and a simple white long-sleeved shirt. Quite ordinary. It was the long string of beads around his neck, almost like a rosary, that made him look out of this world. But nothing could prepare her for the feeling that swept through her and he finally looked at her. 

When she was very little, maybe two or three, she had a very strange dream once. The sun fell from the sky, landed on their street right next to their house and she watched, quite mesmerized, how it rolled behind their windows like a huge fiery balloon. She was too small to know that the sun was literally just a ball of fire, and yet that’s exactly how it appeared to her in the dream, except “her” sun didn’t have more than two meters in diameter and it didn’t scorch anything. That strange and bizarre dream left such an imprint on her young and expanding mind that it eventually became one of her core memories. Then, as years went by and adulthood hit her with brutal force, she almost forgot about it. 

Until he appeared. 

He introduced himself as Josh without even being asked, ordered matcha tea and then he took a barstool by the counter right opposite to her, because she was the only person in the whole room willing to talk to him; everyone else was staring at their phones or laptops and just minding their own business. 

And it was SO easy talking to him, despite the fact that she was completely and utterly smitten with him, which usually tied her tongue in similar situations. Not with Josh. They talked for only half an hour about nothing important, but it was enough for him to unknowingly etch himself in her brain and gut. 

Then he finally picked Josh up, just when the rain stopped, and they left together, seemingly forever. 

Her mind was still full with the images of him when she went to bed that day, and he even materialized again as a drunken memory in her dreams. Her conviction that she wasn’t destined to have people like him in her life made the apparition both sweet and distant, but destiny never prevented anyone from having dreams about it, right? His existence seemed almost unreal the morning after. He became a vision – and an illusion – of a better world where people were actually nice to one another. Like a character from a favorite comfort book: someone who never really existed, but it was still nice to imagine.

Then, five days later, Josh came back. 

He stayed for three long hours, as if he had no responsibilities in this world except for filling it with his contagious laughter. He ordered a whole pot of oolong and charmingly voiced his desire to pester her for the rest of the afternoon. When she asked why, his answer was simply ‘why not.’ That’s what the places like the one she worked in were for, and she shouldn’t get excluded, he said.

So they talked again, pausing only when other people came to take their order. They talked about poetry and cartoons and favorite sweets (she loved almond truffles!). She told him about her early childhood and a grandmother who could bake heavenly pastries, and he shared funny stories about his brothers and praised the wit and beauty of his sister. 

There were times when such stories would make her feel miserable, but his own tales filled her with hopefulness. He exuded so much love and light no doubt because those people he talked about had always been there for him. If only she hadn’t failed to be there for her sister when she needed her the most. People kept telling her that it wasn’t her fault, but their words fell flat. Convinced that she should have known, she almost followed the same footsteps. They just found her in time…

Back then she told him that she was an only child. 

The next time, Josh came back with a small bag full of almond truffles, which he traded for her number. And so they slowly became regular friends, with their lives gradually intertwining even outside of that coffee shop. 

Days went by, then weeks. Slowly, she learned all about his passions and dreams, and nothing about his job. Then one day, just before Christmas, a group of people asked for a picture and he had to come clear afterwards. Nothing shocking in Nashville, It just made her admire him even more, and he couldn’t get mad when she finally told him her truth. Months passed by and finally there were no more secrets, even though her initial childish idea that he must have fallen from the sky was crushed. 

At least she wasn’t surprised when he disappeared for months. 

He often said ‘I love you’ and sometimes she imagined how it would feel if one day he’d mean it in a way that would make her skin tingle and cheeks burn. But that was not to be. The meaning was reserved for someone else, because he belonged to someone else. Plain and simple. They were so in love. Even through the veil of her jealousy, she could see the pure miracle of it. Everything Josh did seemed miraculous. It kept breaking her heart in the most peculiar and strangely addictive way. 

He was always there for her as a dear friend, but never as someone who could keep her warm at night. He was unavailable. 

Until he wasn’t. And yet…

He called her around two am that night, crying so hard he couldn’t even talk coherently. She wasted no time; having thrown just a long cardigan over her pajamas, she ran out the door, jumped in the car and headed straight to their… to his house. 

They snuggled together in his bed, and she kept holding him tight until he finally relaxed and fell asleep. And when she woke up a few hours later, feeling his limbs wrapped around her body and his hot breath on the exposed skin of her shoulder, she looked up at the ceiling and her heart broke in a thousand little pieces once again. So this was how it felt… and she was destined to experience it only when they both felt like that, only not for each other… His touches during waking hours kept whispering ‘I’m glad’, but never ‘I yearn’. 

He mewled suddenly, no doubt tormented by some disturbing dream, and grip around her only tightened. She turned to her side and hugged him back, watching his peaceful, doll-like face and listening to his light snores that made his parted lips quiver ever so slightly.  

“Why didn’t you call one of your brothers?” she asked once he finally opened his eyes and, seeing her face right in front of his, greeted her with his sweet smile, even though it was short lived. 

“You don’t judge me…,” he mumbled after a while.

“Your brothers don’t judge you either, silly! I know that, and so do you.”

“Yeah, but…I guess I needed a hug, and not just having my shoulder squeezed. Besides, they…they have their own people and, uh… other creatures to take care of...”

Ouch…

The truth is, he had tried to set her up with other people in the past, oblivious to the fact that the only one she wanted was him. So she kept lying to him, making up reasons why the dates and hook-ups never did work out. Even when she ended up in bed with them – and some of them were really good – it never made her want to see them more than just a couple times. 

She had been like that even before she met him, to be honest. Men and women had come and gone, and her heart had remained closed, save for a few youthful infatuations. Her resolve not to commit to anyone only strengthened after what happened to Shania. Then one day, Josh appeared with a golden key, forced it in the lock and occupied the tiny space ever since, unaware of what he really did. 

And the reason why she always tried to hide it the best way she (physically) could was because she was too grateful for what she already had in him. Such good friends… The risk of ruining it all was too great and too foolish. Because, by being there for her as a friend, he had already helped her more than she could possibly imagine. He had danced into the darkness of her dreary life and brought sunshine into it. She had a wonderful friend in him. The fact that she loved him romantically was just a minor snag. Maybe, just maybe, if she had known him sooner, she wouldn’t have to keep hiding the scarry reminder of forecast days on her wrists. But for everything there is a season…

… and fall is perfect for hiking. 

So was the summer after he left, and so they – Josh and her – took advantage of every opportunity to spend it together in nature… or at least in his garden. Because, in spite of all the bad things happening, one could always rely on nature to be beautiful and welcoming, at least for now. 

Josh’s busy schedule and constant traveling blessed him with the mercy of having his mind occupied, so that he wouldn’t have to think about the breakup so much, but everytime he got home – even when it was just for a few days – he kept seeking her company as well as her hugs, because his house suddenly seemed too big and silent and scary, and his brothers naturally wanted to spend the valuable time with their own significant others. 

After that first, painful night, falling asleep in each other’s embrace became at first a frequent occurrence, and later almost a habit. Their movie nights, Sunday outdoor trips or late night garden picnics often ended that way. Lying on a blanket under a cloudless sky and pretending they could actually see any stars, they cuddled more often than not as the temperature dropped. He cried a few more times in early June, but after a while it just became a pleasant habit. Josh was never the person to shy away from physical contact, so it felt completely natural to him. It was always innocent, too, with their hands never wandering to any inappropriate places. A few times she could feel his lips brush against her locks – feather-like kisses that never touched the skin – but that was it. It always left her hungry for more, and the hunger kept growing… 

The smell of coffee and vanilla coming from the kitchen put an end to her reminiscing, as it made her stomach rumble and pulled her mind back into the physical reality of the cabin. She finally managed to drag her lazy body out of bed and, after a short stop in the bathroom, followed the smell and the sound and the light, like a curious cat. 

Josh was not a fruit loop guy and she was not allowed to eat that shit either, at least not under his watch. In consequence, their days spent together also meant that she was eating properly for a while. 

She found him standing by the stove, making oatmeal with raisins and swaying to some unknown tune he was humming. She caught just a few words, something about bed and needing to touch again, and immediately wanted to go back, because damn! He was reading her mind. 

Her footsteps made him stop and turn around, greeting her with his radiant smile. Snap. Another beautiful picture for the photo album of her mind. Having been blessed with an excellent memory, she often used it as an internal polaroid, taking snapshots of the beauty of the world to browse through when old. She, however, cheated with her stills of Josh, replaying them in her mind every time she was alone in her own bed. 

“Finally! I thought I’d have to drag… you’re doing it again!”

“Doing what?” She couldn’t help but to reciprocate the toothy smile. 

“You know what!” He threatened to pat her head playfully with the stirring spoon, making her duck down so as not to have chunks of hot oatmeal in her hair. “Save some space in that fancy brain of yours for the wonders of nature. Today’s gonna be EPIC!” He swung the spoon epicly towards the milky blue nothingness outside the window. 

“It’s still raining, Josh.”

“Mmmm, not for long, I’m tellin’ya. Now grab that mug before that bitter shit gets cold.” He nearly overturned the cup of coffee with the large spoon and she snatched it out of his reach just in time to save the valuable fragrant liquid. He turned back to the stove, chuckling. “Gonna serve this heavenly manna in a sec, so take a seat, mademoiselle,” he added playfully in a low voice. “Cinnamon?” 

“Yeah, why not. Just a pinch.”

“As you wisssssssh… Here comes the sun, little daaaarling, here comes the su-un, and Iiiiii saaay…”

Moments like these often made her mind and body dissociate. The body was drawn to him, yearning to hug him from behind and bite at his exposed earlobe, while the mind knew her place was at the table, where she was told to patiently wait for the breakfast to be served, while admiring his beauty from a respectable distance. The mind always won. Their new-found closeness, however exciting and really borderline intimate sometimes, had its boundaries. 

He was right. The rain stopped eventually, so they packed their bags with all the necessities they might need for the whole day outside, and together they entered the misty world of barren bony branches, orange leaves and hidden horizons. It was already almost 8 am when they left the warm confines of their rented cabin, but the landscape remained shrouded in early November murkiness. They walked for at least an hour without speaking, the ubiquitous mist still unwilling to dissipate. 

“It’s almost like a completely different planet, isn’t in,” she finally broke the silence. 

“M-hm,” was the only response she got. She honestly often preferred it that way, being able to get lost in her own thoughts and daydreams, but that very rarely happened when Josh kept her company. His need to share everything that was on his mind – which was usually a LOT – could often be quite overwhelming. It also never failed to entertain everyone around him, because the vastness of his mind could compete with the plains on Mars, and it was just as untamed.

The fact that he was suddenly so unusually taciturn made her a bit uneasy. Something was wrong. She already noticed it the night before, and thought it was only understandable, given the recent events. She was devastated as well, thinking about Shania again, and how it would break her heart if she hadn’t chosen to make it stop beating willingly. 

But then they talked quite openly about that and he returned back to his normal, radiant self as soon as they climbed in their shared bed. Now she had that nagging feeling once again… as if he was hiding something from her. Something was different. 

“Are you still sad?” she asked tentatively. 

“About what?” His tone was wary, making her uncertain whether she should even continue or just let it be. Alas, her nosy nature prevailed.

“The breakup.”

It took him a few seconds to respond, clearing his throat and kicking a few pebbles first. She’d swear she could sense a brand new kind of tension in the air, but she couldn’t really  put her finger on it. It was almost just a split second.

“No, not anymore. Sometimes at night, when the house is quiet, I feel a sense of melancholy, you know? I guess I’m just not used to being alone. But I welcome the feeling, really. I think I wrote my best lyrics feeling just like that. And…” And he kept on talking. On and on and on.  She asked a simple question and he could have provided a simple answer, but after three minutes of babbling, just when his mind somehow wandered to Sam’s ravioli, she suddenly stopped in her tracks and started laughing. The bitch was back, as he himself would say, although that was not really it. He sensed her worry and just wanted to do anything he could to disperse it. 

“What?” He really tried to frown at her accusingly, but failed miserably, the corners of his mouth twitching. 

“It’s just… you could have just said ‘no’, but I admire the lengths you go to prove that you’re not.”

“Keep mocking my eloquence, love, and you’ll regret it, I tell ya!” Already a few steps ahead of her, he started walking backwards, pointing his finger at her menacingly. 

“Josh, be care…”

“FUUU…ouch!”

“...ful… Moron!”

 Of course he stumbled over an exposed tree root and fell right on his butt. Thankfully, he managed to land in the middle of a small heap of wet foliage instead of stones or worse – down the steep slope adjacent to the path they were on. She offered him her hand with an exasperated sigh and helped him get back on his feet, feigning anger – anything to hide how much that one word reverberated inside her ribcage. Love…   

“C’mon! Don’t be mad. My ass is damp and freezing now, so it’s fun, yeah?” Once back on his feet, he grabbed her shoulder for support in order to regain balance and smiled reassuringly to wipe that frown off her face. To no avail. No, it wasn’t exactly fun, and seeing his beautiful eyes so close only made it worse. She stared back into those dark beads before her gaze slid down to his lips that he licked just a moment ago, and the chilly mist filling her lungs suddenly felt like water, together with a totally unwelcome wave of arousal that swept through her body. She was genuinely mad all of the sudden, but only at herself. 

“You’re an idiot, Josh.” She let go and stormed up the path, forcing him to speed up to catch up with her. 

“Y/N, hang on… why are you so angry?”

“You were literally just a few feet from breaking your leg… or something else!” she spat in response and with her eyes set on the path ahead.

“No, I wasn’t. And nothing happened!” Josh raised his voice just a notch, his own anger growing. They were side to side again and he finally forced her to turn back to him. She tried to fight it, she really did, but in spite of her efforts to behave reasonably, she could feel her eyes prickle again, threatening to betray her. 

“It’s been almost five years since she jumped… in November…just…stop scaring me like that, ok?” Her voice quivered under the burden of her sudden deliberate machinations. What she said was true, but it wasn’t the real reason why she felt so upset at that very moment and she felt bad instantly for using it as an excuse. That was completely unfair to both of them. 

Josh’s features immediately softened and he pulled her in for a tight hug. “I know… sorry,” he whispered, and she melted into his touch, no longer caring how she “deserved” it. They remained like that for almost a minute before he commanded that it was time to move if they didn’t want to return back after dark. 

The rest of the morning was spent more or less in silence once again, interspersed with occasional casual chit chat. As the path grew steeper and more stony, pale patches of light cerulean blue began to show up through thinning low clouds, making them both hopeful. The air temperature grew gradually milder, too. “The inversion season’s finally here! Yay!” he exclaimed with childish enthusiasm – one of many things that kept people drawn to him like moths to a flame. It seemed just impossible not to love him. 

They reached the ridge – their final destination – just around midday, and just in time to step out of the clouds that still hung low in the surrounding valleys. It felt like reaching the sky, with the ridge and a few surrounding rounded peaks looking like floating islands in the midst of a foamy ocean.

“Aaaah, this is beautiful!” She tilted her head back, letting the sun warm up her damp cheeks. 

“Told ya,” he smiled softly and she expected him to continue teasing her, but he seemed unnaturally quiet and serene once again. Pulling his camera from the bag, he took a few snapshots of the misty sea below them. They watched the clouds roll by slowly for a while before he spoke. “I used to dream about telling stories through pictures...” 

She knew all about his old passion, but she also thought he was exceptional at what fate chose for him eventually. “You do tell stories Josh. You help people paint their own internal landscapes.” 

“Do I…”

“Of course you do!”

“So I believed. Pictures, words, soundwaves, doesn’t really matter, that’s not my point. I mean,.. I wasn’t really telling the… the truth yesterday. I am scared…I mean, not for myself, not really, but…I don’t…I guess, sometimes things are just destined to remain broken no matter how hard you try, you know…I’m mostly heartbroken, really.”

She wasn’t really sure where this was going. Having been familiar with his insecurities for quite some time, she knew too well that he was sometimes too humble for his own good, but he hardly ever sounded that defeated. “Well, you know…how was that line…’Take your broken heart and make it into art.”

“But what’s the point?”

And just like that, with a snap of a finger, the temperature dropped, making her shiver. Speaking to the world through art was the core of his whole existence and she’d rather die than watch him doubt the importance of it. 

“Josh!”

“Y/N!”

His feeble attempt to mock her sudden urgent tone annoyed her, but definitely not enough to stop her from trying to prevent him from going down that gloomy path. “Listen, asshole! Stop with the bullshit, ok? You believed we’d have sun today. And look! I absolutely needed this, and would have missed it if it weren’t for you. And MANY people feel the same, because you inspire them, so cut that defeatist crap or else I’ll smack it out of you!”

He looked at her as if she had already really slapped him in the face, but his shocked and astonished expression slowly morphed into a soft and grateful smile. “Thank you, Y/N.” 

“WELL YOU’RE WELCOME!” she responded with an unnecessary theatricality, unwilling to abandon the angry pose just yet, just in case. “Now give me this, because I think you need to see what I see.” She snatched the camera out of his hand and took a step back so that the viewfinder showed exactly what she wanted to capture. He, however, started fumbling for a phone in his jacket, completely ruining the shot. 

“No, let’s take a selfie,” he said when he finally found and unlocked it.

“Selfie? You? Since when have you been taking selfies?”

“I DO from time to time.” He looked almost offended, pouting at her like a defiant child. Sighing exasperatedly, she finally agreed to it, stepping closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around her shoulder.

“But you need to look into the lens Jo…” On the display, she could see him looking sideways at her, his eyes slowly tracing the contours of her profile. His jaw clenched and she could no longer finish the sentence. Instead, she slowly turned her own face to meet his gaze. He lowered his arm, snaked it around her and she held her breath, barely conscious of his other hand slowly finding its way to cup the nape of her head just below her ponytail. Dreamily, she watched his lips growing closer to hers until they met and she could swear her heart stopped. 

He tasted like apples. 

It was soft and tender at first, his pouty lips just brushing over hers like the wings of a butterfly. She leaned into it and invited him in, and soon they could taste each other properly, with their tongues entangling and dancing around languidly. She turned deaf and blind, but acutely aware of every cell of his body she could reach and taste and caress and devour, and getting high on it, her head spinning more and more with each passing second. 

When they finally parted and her sight returned, they looked at each other and even though neither said a word, they could both see the same question in each other’s eyes. 

What now…

The entire walk back into the cabin was spent in silent anticipation. The way he held her hand was completely innocent, even with their fingers intertwined… 

The contents of their minds, not so much. They didn’t dare to speak about it just yet, in fear that they might jinx it. She kept replaying it in her head, over and over again. The feeling of his soft lips on hers still lingered and her insides twisted and turned with the primal need for him to do it again. It was just as strong as thirst, and much more overwhelming. 

As the hour grew late, even the valleys were now sun-soaked. The world joined them in their silence and only the rustling of gravel and foliage under their feet disturbed the unearthly peace. Having kept her eyes on the ground, she looked up when they left the shadows of trees behind them and set foot on the vast clearing that separated them from their cabin… the fireplace… the bed… The road to it was blinding, as the late afternoon sun turned the distant horizon into silver ribbons, making them squint. She squeezed his hand involuntarily as her heart freaked out again, and he responded by stroking her knuckles with the tip of his thumb. The lust was palpable, making them both alert like lonely puppies just before hearing the door knob turn. 

Having avoided the topic for a few long hours, the tension between them only grew when they reached the cabin, only to be replaced with a sense of panic and uncertainty when they stepped inside. 

“So…”

“Are you hungry?” She interrupted him, before he could say more. Please say yes, so that I can cook us dinner and... 

“Not really, no.”

“Me neither.” She was fidgety, biting her lip, scratching her arm nervously, looking up at him and then averting her gaze repeatedly. 

“Y/N… we don’t have to…”

“I want to!” she blurted out and then sank her teeth in her lower lip again. 

Ok… calm down baby, let me…follow me…” he offered her his hand and slowly led her into the bathroom. 

They stripped each other slowly and then they kissed again. He turned on the shower and she bashfully stepped under the streaming water next to him. He pulled her closer and kissed her some more, while tracing the outline of her shoulders with his fingertips. Only then he dared to venture lower. 

His fingers brushed over her left nipple before he cupped the whole breast gently in his palm and she could swear it felt like he was cradling her very own heart in it instead, making her hold her breath. His eyes were lowered the whole time, watching his own actions intently and attentively, almost apprehensively, waiting for her reactions and receiving none. She was frozen with illogical fear. He looked up suddenly, making her head spin. “Tell me what you like,” he whispered. 

“Everything.” His brows shot up in question, so she clarified: “I like everything about this, Josh.” 

She meant it as encouragement, but it wasn’t helpful at all. He cleared his throat nervously and stroked her arm gently, from her shoulder all the way down to her elbow. His eyes once again followed the motions of his hand. “I wanna know everything about you.” This time he wasn’t talking about her life or soul. He already knew almost everything about that, after all those hours and hours spent talking and daydreaming together. Her body, however, was an unknown instrument, and he was desperate to learn how to play it well. 

Feeling wanted, and with all the newfound courage she could muster, she cupped his cheeks and kissed him with long suppressed passion, pausing only briefly to ask him back. “Can I learn everything about you, too?” 

“Please! You must,” he whispered against her lips, while she wrapped her fingers around his full-blown erection and started stroking him tentatively, making him moan in her mouth. Encouraged, she tightened her grip and quickened her pace. He gasped, breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead against hers instead. “You learn quickly, baby,” he whimpered, leaning with his outstretched arm against the tiled wall behind her. She kissed his flexed bicep in response and slid down on her knees in front of him, but he only shook his head and pulled her back up. 

“You don’t want that?” she asked, confused. There was a hint of hurt in her voice, so he pulled her in an embrace and kissed her wet hair as the water kept pouring down on them. 

“Just the idea of your lips wrapped around my dick tells me it’d be very quick… and I don’t want that. Let’s take this slow, yeah? Let me…” 

She let him take the lead and his lips went on a journey. They traced the edge of her jaw when he shampooed her hair and she tilted her head in delight. This new intimacy could only be described as ecstatic. Everything turned into a blur. She was just barely aware of him wrapping her in a bath towel, and she couldn’t remember how they got in bed. It was his tongue licking a stripe up her inner thigh that made her acutely aware of her surroundings once again. She gasped in surprise when she felt his hot breath on her wet pussy. Looking at her daringly, he hovered just an inch above it, the tip of his tongue resting on his upper lip tellingly. “May I?”

She swallowed harshly to relieve her parched throat. “I want you fuck me, Josh. Please.”

“And I will… but let me make you fly first.” Without any further ado, he darted his tongue between her folds and she arched her back as if struck by electricity. After a few more teasing licks, he wrapped his lips around her clit and started sucking gently, with his velvet tongue drawing slow circles on the underside before it started fluttering rapidly over the whole bud. Soon he sent her into orbit, just as he promised. She was still shaking and gasping for air when he swiftly climbed up her body and positioned himself in between her legs. 

Once inside her, he could no longer keep it slow. He let out a deep guttural groan and, as if a bolt of electricity shot through him, started thrusting into her with newfound virility. She wrapped both her arms and legs around him and pulled him even closer to her, almost afraid that he would float away and dissolve in midair if she stopped holding him tight enough, just like he always had done in her dreams. Even her own mind never allowed her to feel like this, so how could this possibly be real? After all that time. It felt too good to be real. His hands cradling her head, his own loud moans so close to her ear, urgent and melodic and almost lewd, all in one. With his elbows on each side of her head, and his lips brushing against her earlobe, she felt enshrined under him. It was overwhelming, it made her head spin as if high on oxygen…which she probably was. Unable to control her wildly beating heart and her quickened breath, she was barely conscious of that pleasant feeling he was stirring deep inside her. It didn’t even matter. She arched her back again and shivered as his singing grew louder. She could come just from listening to him. 

The skin on his back under her wandering hands, warm and velvety at first, soon turned damp and sticky from exertion, as his movements grew even more frantic and wild. She tilted her head back and cried out when he hit her cervix particularly hard… and he stopped. 

“What…” she asked dreamily. 

“You’re so tender and soft, I don’t wanna hurt you.” His face was hovering mere inches above her, as he was searching for more cues. Still inside her to the hilt, the blissful feeling of her velvety walls caressing his cock still lingered and it took all his will to keep himself from moving momentarily. His hips jerked involuntarily and she responded by deliberately tightening around him, making him hiss. 

“You’re not hurting me,” she mumbled, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. “I don’t even know if I ever felt this good. I’ve been waiting for this for so long…” Her own words made her freeze. She opened her eyes again and looked at him, frightened. His own expression was somber and almost unreadable. Oh god, you stupid cow, why did you say that? 

“How long, Y/N?”

Please, don’t make me ruin this even more, Josh. Just go on, just let me feel this at least once… 

His eyes never looked more beautiful. He kept looking down at her, searching for the answer. She knew she should say something, but the sudden lump in her throat made her only gasp for air as she tried to fight off the tears. Stupid, unstable bitch!

It seemed that he took mercy on her. Instead of pushing the subject, he leaned down and pressed his lips on the pulsing point under the skin of her neck. She closed her eyes and sighed in delight, waiting for him to resume the previous pace and make her mind go blank once more, letting her dream about her sun before the real one would come. 

He remained still though. His dick twitched inside her, making it known that he too wanted more, but he wasn’t merciful enough. And he wouldn’t let it go. 

“How long, Y/N?” Josh whispered once again against her skin. Each syllable was like a kiss, soothing. He left a physical trace of his words along her jugular, smoothing the gravity of that question mark with the tip of his nose. There was a new kind of urgency in his voice. At last, as if really reading her mind, he finally moved inside her once again, rolling his hips slowly as if to say ‘I’m not going anywhere’, encouraging her. 

“Since the first matcha tea,” she sobbed and he tried to soothe her nerves with yet another slow and deep thrust. But it was no use, the dam that had been holding her pent up emotions broke. He pulled out and lied down beside her. She missed him instantly but had enough dignity not to beg. She expected him to get up and leave. Instead, he pulled her closer and patiently waited for her to calm down. Only then he spoke.

“Y/N, he left because he…he thought that I liked you a bit too much. And, uh, after I called you and you came to me that night, I realized he might have been right…”

Josh was crying, he was yelling, he even tried to beg eventually, as the warm spring breeze coming from the open window suddenly felt like a winter gale on his exposed skin. He kept repeating ‘what does it mean, what do you mean…’, only to be told that it was up to him to figure it out. ‘But I love you!’ Josh cried some more, and it was met with silence for the first time.  ‘I can no longer say it back,’ he broke that silence after a while, and Josh’s hopeful eyes veiled with even more tears. ‘I wanted to be the only one. I’m not an idiot, so I beg you to stop treating me like one. Goodbye, Josh.’ 

And once again, Josh’s words were met with silence. The only difference was that she wanted to scream it back. “I’m so sorry,” she said instead after a long minute. “I didn’t want to be the reason for his leaving.”

“Y/N…” he inched closer and buried his face in her still damp hair. “You weren’t. I was. Didn’t you hear me?” 

She did, but her self destructive mind chose to ignore it. His cryptic might-have-beens couldn’t penetrate the armor that she had spent long years building. Thankfully, he knew her well enough to realize his mistake. Enough of all this beating around the bush. 

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear and this time it made her skin tingle and her toes curl. 

His caressing hand traveled from her shoulder down the middle of her chest, where he could feel the fast rhythm of her wildly beating heart. Her eyes were closer and she lay unmoving, except for her hand that wrapped around his fingers, stopping them momentarily. “I’m sorry babe, I just had to say it,” he continued. “And since you…”

“I love you more than life.” Her own words startled her, as if something fell down with a crash. Without waiting for him to make another move, she pulled his hand down to her wet pussy and his middle finger slid inside with ease. 

It quickly made him hard again. She spread her legs, inviting him back in. He shifted just a bit, with his head still resting next to hers on the pillow. She turned towards him, threw her leg around him and he entered her again just as their mouths reconnected again in a hungry, sloppy kiss. 

It was slow this time, but no less intense, with their senses heightened by the recent revelations. They were making love. She kept her eyes open, watching how his own rolled up and he moaned loudly with his tongue still swirling around hers, their parted lips barely touching. She could feel a second orgasm building soon and her breathing quickened, turning her own moans into short, high pitched gasps, making him hiss when her fingernails dug deep into his skin. 

Suddenly, he shifted and straightened, sliding his knees under her legs and grabbing her hips possessively. “That’s it baby, one more, go on, let go,” he urged and started thrusting into her with a new force that made her thighs tremble. She looked up and her jaw slackened at the sight. Her sweet and radiant Josh looked almost demonic in the twilight. He was watching her too, with his jaw clenched and his brows furrowed and glistening with sweat. 

“Harder,” she cried out and he obeyed, hissing and baring his teeth as he tried to hold on a little longer. Then suddenly, she could feel it snap and her whole body tensed, making him groan as she squeezed him inside her. A few more deep strokes before she could feel him falter. “Fill me up,” she whispered and her eyes widened. He placed his hand between her breasts, bent his head down and let out a long, high pitched whine, his body jerking erratically as he spilled inside her. Then he collapsed on top of her, panting. 

Josh

She looked like an injured doe, you know? So lonely and abandoned behind that counter. The room was full of people of all sorts, but – as it often happens – nobody paid attention to the things that desperately needed all the attention in the world. So I stayed a while – even though I didn’t really have to – watching her face brighten up, growing more and more beautiful with every passing second. I knew she had it in her.

Someone ordered an irish coffee and she had to grab a bottle of whisky from the upper shelf. That’s when I saw the scars on her wrists, and the shadows behind her deep blue eyes suddenly made perfect sense. 

There are millions of people on this planet who are hurting and I’ve always believed that nothing happens without a reason. When I was younger, I wished I could have saved everyone, but that’s impossible. There’s only so much burden one can bear. But I believe that every wounded soul has their person somewhere. A sibling, a parent, a friend, a lover… Someone willing to share the load. Sometimes they don’t find each other in time, otherwise the world wouldn’t be full of tragedies and tears. Sometimes you don’t choose it. It just happens. And sometimes, you fuck up in the process. Colossally, even. I’m painfully aware of the fact that I did, too. But everything happens for a reason. 

I just had to go back…

I can't imagine how it is To be forbidden from loving (ah, ah) 'Cause when you walked into my life I could feel my life begin And then I learned the truth How everything good in life seems to lead back to you And every single time I run into your arms I feel like I exist for love Only for love (Aurora – Exist For Love)

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @josh-iamyour-mama @lyndz2names @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @cheersdannyx2 @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @clownstarr @gretasfallingsky @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @psychedelectable

[amysgiantbees]

I just find it strange that the developers chose to rewrite Wyll. I love new Wyll I think he's fantastic and I don't necessarily want the previous version. But I find it bizarre that there was somehow so much negative feedback about old Wyll that they risked completely rewriting him.

Now I love all the companions. This is not Dragon Age Orgins where I debate recruiting Ogrun every time. But I just find it strange that the reason given was Wyll's negative feedback when most of the other characters have been unpopular too. Like Lae'zel is infamously unlikable to a great many people.

People love to bully Gale and there's even lines in game that call him pathetic. The DEV's in the IGN interview even agreed that Gale killing himself can be a good ending, " I really liked Gale setting off the bomb with the brain, and actually that felt like the right ending to me.

AS: In many ways it is, yeah." Which feels problematic to say the least, like I get supporting player choices but suicide is never the "right" way to do things.

Or even I'm pretty sure I remember Neil Newbon talking about how he was sure a lot of players had killed Astarion permanently in their playthroughs.

Then there are people being absolute freaks on the internet about Halsin all because he's polyamorous.

Like these characters are wildly popular too but they certainly have their haters. So why did they lack such confidence with Wyll? The best source I could find on early access Wyll is this article https://gamerant.com/baldurs-gate-3-wyll-early-access-story-change-karlach-explained/. It says that this change was made to make his story stronger, make him more unique, and give him more complicated emotional ties. Unless he was really basic before they did not accomplish this. He has less content so his story lacks the depth the other's do. It's also inconsistent, with you being able to put him off being a duke by telling him he'll be too power hungry which he has never been. His emotional ties are rushed. He never really confronts his father, having the tadpole do most of the work and never hashing out his feelings beyond that he's fine.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. According to the article he was meant to have a dark side like Shadowheart "According to the panel, depending on whether players allow him to go through with killing Karlach, he will become a radically different companion instead of if she is recruited." Which would have been cool but if they didn't have enough time to do that maybe they should have tweaked what they had.

Plus, according to the article in early access he was "a straightforward hero who develops a violent side regarding his patron or goblins." This article too show's that his early approval matches current Wyll pretty well except for dealing with Aunty Ethel and more goblin hate https://fextralife.com/baldurs-gate-3-early-access-companions-guide-wyll/.

I just don't know I just find it so frustrating that it was the black main character they chose to tweak and ran out of time to complete his story and still haven't fixed it with a patch. And in the IGN interview the devs kind of sounded like there wouldn't be anymore patches and it's just frustrating. Wyll deserves just as much content as any one else.

[pshcomforts]

➳ line without a hook | psh.

collegestudent!sunghoon x fem!reader (feat. sanha from astro)

“all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around”

synopsis: you and sunghoon have been friends since high school and though you guys can’t admit it, you two are in love with each other.

warnings/content: written in third pov. college au. friends to lovers. idiots in love. fluff! slight angst? sunghoon gets jealous (i always make him get jealous hehe). happy ending. sickly amount of “loser” & “idiot” used a lot as nicknames. suicide jokes. cursing and not proofread. i think that’s it?

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 6.2k

a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend). another personal oneshot fav.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: line without a hook by ricky montgomery

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

0:32 ──|───────────────── 3:36

the early morning made its peaking cracks of sunshine as y/n arose in her bed.

she rubbed her eyes awake, hands reaching for her phone for the time.

[ 7:48 am ] — it read.

the girl groaned out a sigh. ‘whose idea was it to register for a 9am class again?’ she thought before swiping her screen to check her missed notifications. almost immediately, she jumped out of her blanket when finding a text from her friend, sunghoon.

hoonster :) :

y/n, you awake??

Wake up loser, I’m on the way

You better be awake when I come

“aw shit!” she yelled, pushing her tired body.

in a rush, y/n exhibited loud thuds of footsteps as she ran back and forth from the bathroom to get ready.

“don’t be here yet, don’t be here yet!” she uttered under her breath.

her hands shakily found some casual clothes once she was done with the bathroom area.

just then, her phone furiously buzzed.

“hello??” she spoke.

“hey loser, you ready yet?” she heard sunghoon ask on the other side.

immediately, her heart thumped. she felt the butterflies of a high school type of crush hit her stomach. she swallowed down her feelings for her friend as she murmured, “you’re already here?”

hoon gave a quiet chuckle that exerted more butterflies to flood her abdomen. “yes dummy, i’m waiting at the front of your house. hurry up, we’re gonna be late!”

y/n groaned out a sigh after coming into the realization that her crush was still her asshole friend after all. “okay, okay! i’m coming out now!” she yelled, digging her feet into her favorite shoes before running out.

a few seconds later and sunghoon found the girl he’s liked since high school burst out of her house. a half smile tugged at his lips as he watched her quietly fume out a few words that he figured was most likely about being late.

his eyes formed into half moon crescents in a glistening look, heart and mind directly falling in the thought of being in her presence.

his car doors clicked and in came y/n.

she huffed out a few breaths of air before buckling her seat in. “now why the hell did i choose a 9am class??” her hand reached to her chest, feeling her heart beat like crazy.

sunghoon chuckled. he was in complete love and there was no doubt about that. “because you wanted a class with me, loser.” he joked, hands reaching down to his cup holder.

the girl shot him a glare — “excuse me? you were the one who said ‘let’s do chemistry 2A together,’ and now we’re both struggling!”

he cackled out another laugh as he merged the car into the next lane. “yeah yeah, you know you wanted that class with me.”

y/n huffed out a sigh in annoyance. “hoon, i swear-“

“got you some coffee, i know you’ll probably need it.” he said, quickly cutting her morning anger off.

there it was again. that nervous sensation bubbling inside of her. “you did??” her head tilted down to find her attractive friend hand her the cup of coffee.

this is what friends did right? pick them up? get them coffee? have a class together? surely, sunghoon thought of her just as a friend?

no. the two were idiots in love, but they liked it. the mixed signals. the chemistry. the tension. they loved the game of push and pull, and it became obvious to everyone but them.

“don’t act so surprised,” the handsome male intruded her thoughts. “i’m nice to you.”

y/n automatically scoffed at his words. “nice?? you are anything but nice, park sunghoon.”

the car screeched to a stop with a red light in front of them, causing him to glance back at her. “so if i’m not nice to you, what’s this then? picking you up, hm?” one of his thick brows raised in question as his inner lips softly curled.

the girl had to look away with how handsome he looked. just a simple stare could set her heart off.

“shut up, hoon. we’re friends, this is what we do.” she playfully rolled her eyes as he widened his smile.

“yeah.. friends.” he murmured. his heart lightly sank at the friend zone but he couldn’t dare to do anything else other than stare back at the road. “take the coffee, will you? i need to drive, unless you want us to crash.”

y/n gasped at his suicidal joke but quickly turnt it into a mount of giggles. “do it, sunghoon! crash us! i don’t want to go to chemistry.”

sunghoon immersed into laughter as well, shaking his head at how his favorite girl just joked about death. “sorry, looks like we have to make it through another day of torture.”

she sighed. “fine but if the professor asks why we’re late, i’m blaming you.”

“right back at you,” he snorted with a head shake, causing the girl to nudge his arms.

y/n rolled her eyes before turning her attention to her phone.

jake’s girl 🫂:

are you guys almost here??

sunoo’s been wondering

y/n <33:

almost!

well tell sunoo to hold on bc we still have to find parking!

jake’s girl 🫂:

girl your class starts in like 20 minutes!

jungwon’s bae 🩶:

Just get your butt over here!

hee’s fav 🤍:

hee and i are about to leave before you guys show

y/n <33:

LMFAOO we’ll be there soon!

“hurry up, hoon! they’re waiting!”

sunghoon made a ‘tsk’ noise with his tongue as he said, “i can’t go pass the speed limit here y/n. what do you want me to do?”

she groaned out a sigh before crossing her arms. “geez hoon, you’re driving like a grandma.”

“i’m sorry, speedy, i don’t want to get a ticket this early in the morning.”

the girl smiled as she watched him pull up to a parking spot. “finallyy! you parked far but..,”

“just shut up and walk, loser.” he responded, ruffling her hair before walking out of the car.

she clicked her tongue as she obeyed, slinging her heavy bag around her shoulders. as she did so, she felt the weight suddenly relieve off of her.

y/n turned her direction to where her friend was, and found him carrying her bag.

“hoon what-“

“i can see you practically struggling and well.. you’re weak so i’ll carry it for you.”

she rolled her eyes before letting him in proceed. “that’s sweet but that’s still asshole-like.”

hoon chuckled at her words as he held her bag around his shoulders. “come on, we’re gonna be late.”

the two rushed to their friend group, legs speeding through campus to find them huddled in a corner.

“finally! you guys took so long,” min-su groaned.

y/n laughed before sending a smack to her arms. “shut up, we’re here now!” she yelled back as she gave a soft nudge.

sunghoon chuckled, laying his arm on his friend’s shoulder in comfort. “she woke up late as usual,” he said, ruffling his own hair. “that’s why you don’t see her with her usual makeup on.”

the girl took offending, gasping in shock before harshly hitting his arm. “i hope that bruises, loser!” she cackled out a laugh as she proudly nodded.

hoon rubbed his arm while displaying a smile on his face. “never, i’m too strong.” he teased with a shit eating grin.

the group shared their laughs before ji-woo intruded — “stop being lovey dovey, your class starts soon!”

y/n groaned, ignoring her teasings about her and sunghoon as she replied, “you just had to remind me..,”

“shut up and go!” her friend yelled back, pushing her arm with a wide smile.

soon, y/n, sunghoon, and sunoo walked to their dreaded chemistry class while the others stayed together.

“why don’t we just ditch??” the girl murmured in a pout.

“you know we can’t y/n,” sunoo scowled.

“you guys suck.”

“just stay for the lecture, our exam is next week anyway,” responded sunghoon.

before she could give another remark, the three entered in the class.

with them being a little late, scattered seats filled the room, causing the three to separate. sunghoon and sunoo sat near each other while y/n sat about two seats away from them.

she huffed out a soft sigh as she plopped down. “let’s just go through this for the day..,” she murmured to herself.

hoon glanced at her from afar, pupils basically forming heart shapes in his eyes that had sunoo scoffing. his attention landed on the male who was only shaking his head.

“what?” sunghoon seethed through a clenched jaw.

“nothing.. loverboy.” sunoo snorted in a laugh afterwards, causing an irritating sigh to come out of hoon’s mouth.

“don’t call me that.”

“it fits you, surprised she hasn’t noticed yet with how much you stare at her.”

the older male quietly fumed in his seat, rolling his eyes as sunoo was spurting out every ticklish bone in his body.

“seriously, hoonie” sunoo teased — “she’s gonna notice at some point.”

“shut up,” sunghoon harshly whispered back, hands almost raising to send a smack like y/n always does.

“see? you’re picking up on her habits too.”

right when hoon was about to speak, the professor intruded in with a clear throat, hinting that class would be starting in seconds.

“deny it all you want, but you like the girl.” the younger boy softly said with a lean towards him. “don’t take too long though, someone else might steal her.”

sunghoon’s head popped up. he instantly looked at his friend with confusion/betrayal plastered across his face.

“not me, dumbdumb.” sunoo tilted his head towards y/n. “look who’s talking to her.”

almost immediately, hoon found his close friend talking to sanha — a guy in their class who was a few years older. he sat next to her, taking the empty seat and made small talk towards her.

“sanha??” he repeated the name with a scoff.

“you don’t have to be so obvious about your jealousy.”

“i’m not jealous,” hoon lied, an oblivious amount of red tinted on his ears.

the taller male began to ignore the remaining words sunoo spewed out, tuning it away so he could distract himself from the hurtful sight.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when what felt like long hours had finally passed, students scattered out of the class.

y/n stayed behind as usual, taking her time to gather her things when sanha approached her.

“hey, you said your name was y/n right?” he asked with glistening eyes.

“yeah, yours was.. sanha?”

her response that turned into a question caused a chuckle to erupt out of the tall boy.

“sorry, i have bad memory.” y/n quickly defended, allowing him to holler out a few more laughs.

“you’re okay, don’t worry. i was just wondering if we could exchange numbers? just if you want to have a study session together or something.”

the girl stood still in her stance. she’s never really been approached this way before. even if he was just being friendly, it’s definitely been a bigger step to how guys were upfront with her.

“oh.. yeah, sure!” y/n reached down for her phone and gave him the desired phone number.

it was then that sunghoon and sunoo walked in on the scene. “you ready?” the shorter male asked with lips pressing into a line.

“yeah, let me just finish this up.”

hoon took a quick glance down to her hands; watching how they softly grazed against some strangers burned his heart. he felt his blood boiling at how she was so politely nice to sanha.

“we don’t have all day,” he grumbled, causing a confused and annoyed glare to be shot at him from y/n.

she quickly turned back to sanha with an apologetic smile. “sorry, they’re in a rush more than usual. i’m always the one who has to rush them,” she cheekily said.

the older boy reflected the smile back as he warmly replied, “don’t worry, y/n, i can wait all day for you.”

sunghoon’s ears perked up at his words. ‘what is he trying to do? flirt with her?’ he thought to himself with a clear scoff in his throat.

the puff of air that left his mouth caused the three heads to turn to him. sunoo cackled out a laugh, hands on his mouth to shut himself up with amusement. he hit hoon’s chest while murmuring, “sorry he’s really cranky, he didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed today.”

y/n’s head cocked to the side. ‘but he seemed perfectly fine today,’ she thought. what an idiot.

“um, okay… well just text me when you want a study session.” she said to sanha, who began to furiously blush, pissing sunghoon off even more.

“hurry up, you’re taking a long time.” the boy who was jealous uttered in an eye roll.

she sent a glare towards him before turning her head back to sanha in a smile. “see you soon, sanha.”

he beamed an ear-to-ear grin to her before nodding and taking off from the scene.

“couldn’t have been more obvious that he liked you?” hoon unintentionally blurted in an eye roll.

“are you okay or what? why are you suddenly so bitter?” y/n shot to him with a side eye.

“yeah hoon, what’s wrong? cant handle seeing your friend get hit on?” sunoo intervened, raising his brows ever so slightly to display how much of an asshole he was being. he slung an arm around the girl, bringing her closer in his embrace as they walked out.

sunghoon let out a ‘pft’ before walking side by side with them. “why wouldn’t i be able to handle it? i’m shocked that some guy was even willing to ask for her number.” he said, causing a harsh push to be made from y/n.

“uh do i act like this when some girl asks you out?? no, i help you by giving advice..,” she rolled her eyes, ignoring the burning sensation in her heart before scooting her body closer to sunoo’s — allowing him to just chuckle alongside their bicker.

hoon huffed out a sigh. “can’t give you advice on this one then. sorry, loser.” he murmured. his attempt to play it cool was stupid, but the girl still bought into it with how annoying he was being.

“i didn’t ask for your advice, did i?” y/n snickered, causing another holler to be heard from sunoo.

sunghoon rolled his eyes and poked his tongue through his cheek. he hated how close she was suddenly becoming with their friend. usually, she’d be in his arms, his presence, and his care.

but all he could do for now was make snarky comments about some guy that asked for her number.

“so what? you’re gonna go out with this guy now? he’s gonna come to our hangouts now?” the annoyed boy half-heartedly joked, trying to let it come off as something playful with an awkward laugh.

his words only made sunoo and y/n look at each other. and with that, it only filled every inch of his body with more jealousy. he was a protective boy, what can he say?

he wanted to pull the girl he liked back into his arms but as much as he wanted to do so, they were still only friends — friends who joked and pushed each other around, not hugged.

so he scoffed once he realized it got quiet after what he said.

“what? our group is already big enough.”

“don’t tell me.. you’re jealous?” y/n replied, brows knitting together in shock.

sunghoon’s face began to blush in red, heart racing at how she suddenly figured him out. “what?? no. you’re stupid for thinking that.” smooth, sunghoon, real smooth.

she scoffed out a laugh as sunoo remained giggling. “you can admit it, i know you’re jealous.” she said with a tinting red starting to hit her cheeks as well.

her heart dropped at the thought that her longtime friend could be just ever so slightly jealous with who she was talking to. with their passing years of friendship, he never really took interest in her love life — or at least that’s what she thought.

the girl would tell him and he’d do his best in hyping her up, but she always secretly wished that he was the one she was excited about (and he did too).

but yet again, they were idiots in love.

“so are you gonna admit it?” she poked.

sunghoon rolled his eyes, jaw clenching with how well his favorite girl was provoking him. “what is there to admit?” he seethed.

sunoo laughed at his reaction. “geez, hyung, you don’t need to get too mad here.”

a scoff came out of the older male. “sunoo, stay out of this.” he murmured with a turned head.

y/n immediately took notice of hoon’s uncomfortable state and felt the need to stop. her light manner of stupid, silly jokes halted as she uttered — “okay let’s move on from this. should we meet with the others?”

“aren’t they in different classes right now?” sunoo asked, also attempting to move on from what just happened.

“well ji-woo’s in psych right now, i think min-su and dae are free, heeseung’s with them, jake’s in philosophy & ethnics, and jungwon’s in microbiology. and jay and niki are in.. forensics i think?”

sunoo and sunghoon looked at her in bewilderment.

“what?”

“do you just know everyone’s schedule or what?” hoon asked, mouth gaping open in shock.

y/n sent a quick smack to his arms. there’s the girl he knew. “i have their schedule in my notes, don’t judge me! i just want to know our available times..,”

her crush grinned, eyes twinkling in delight of how thoughtful she was. “looking at everyone else’s schedule.. you’re such a loser.” he teased, smiling wide at her defended gasp.

she continued to bully him with a mount of insults and hits. sunoo watched it happen, shaking his head at how he suddenly began third wheeling.

“okay, okay, enough! dae and them are near us, let’s go meet them.” he intervened, swatting a hand between the two.

sunghoon’s heart filled with joy as he ruffled her hair. he heard her give a soft grumble, smacking his hand away that only caused him to laugh even more.

the three continued like this until they eventually reached the others.

“you guys got here a little late..,” dae murmured, side eyeing them.

“sorry, we got held back because some guy wanted her number.” sunghoon responded, feeling a hint of jealousy seep through.

min-su and dae immediately bopped their heads up. “oh??” they asked in unison, earning a chuckle from their friend.

“it’s nothing, this cute guy was just sitting next to me the entire lecture and asked for my number at the end.” y/n replied with a shrug to her shoulders.

“girl, nothing???” dae guffawed.

“cute? mm, i’ll have to see about that,” min-su added in.

with that, her boyfriend, heeseung shot his head up. “you want to see another cute guy when your boyfriend’s right here?” he pouted, causing his girl to melt right at the spot.

“no, baby, i just have to make sure he’s good for her!” she quickly defended.

the group giggled at the couples quarrel before sunoo intruded — “his name’s sanha though.”

sunghoon subtly rolled his eyes but it didn’t go unnoticed by heeseung. the older male looked at him in the eyes that spoke — ‘this must be bothering you huh?’ but hoon chose to ignore and act like he didn’t see it.

“hmm.. sanha.. do you have a picture?” dae questioned.

“she just met the guy, why would she have a picture??” the undeniably jealous guy spoke with anger in his throat.

y/n pushed her brows together before agreeing. “yeah i just met him so i don’t have a picture but..,”

“i guess we can’t see if he’s good for you, y/n..,” dae said. “i do know who’d be good for you though.”

the girl tilted her head to the side. “uh.. who?”

her friend wore a cheeky smile, brows slightly raising as he shifted his gaze to sunghoon, who immediately caught on and began to panic.

“yeah, who is this guy..?” hoon blurted, scratching the back of his nape.

“well he’s been jungwon’s friend for a while now and i’d like it if he had the courage to ask you out, but he’s been too fucking shy.”

y/n looked as if she was confused but she wasn’t stupid. she knew dae was talking about sunghoon, she just wanted him to actually admit it.

“who’s the guy? do i know him?” her coy tone was obvious to min-su and dae, and possibly sunoo but not her crush. no, he stayed oblivious but mainly because he was scared.

as dae was about to speak, sunghoon stopped him — “hey is that jungwon?? that’s him, right?” he pointed behind the boy’s back; and lo and behold, it really was him.

hoon’s ass just got saved and all he could do was sigh out in relief.

while jungwon’s boyfriend ran to the man in the distance, y/n exchanged a look with min-su that could only emphasize their telepathy.

heeseung noticed their look since he was alarmingly close to his girlfriend, and because of that, he spurted out soft laughs.

once jungwon came into everyone’s view, the topic was changed.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

after about an hour, jake texted that he was waiting for ji-woo and eventually, they came together, and then jay and niki as well.

“so are we gonna go eat?” niki asked.

“yes please, i’m starving!” y/n beamed, causing sunghoon’s heart to thud in his chest.

“where at?” jake’s voice spoke, scooting himself closer to his girlfriend’s embrace while pushing his glasses up.

“just anywhere,” min-su replied as her fingers clung around heeseung’s hands.

“okay let’s go to ‘anywhere,’ i heard that place is good!” yelled dae. the stupid joke earned a shrieking laugh from jungwon, popping his dimples as he kept hollering — “that was funny, babe.”

the group laughed as well, maybe not as much as won, but just enough.

eventually, they agreed on some fried chicken place and set out to leave. before doing so, the question that min-su just had to pop to y/n caught everyone’s attention — “so are you gonna bring your boyfriend?” sunghoon shot his head up, thick brows furrowing at the joke.

“boyfriend?? you got a boyfriend and we haven’t even met him yet?” jay instigated with a brow raise.

y/n nervously laughed once she felt aware of everyone’s stares. “that’s what we’re calling him now?”

“what the hell did i miss??” ji-woo asked, turning her head to min-su and dae.

as the two teasingly smiled, a low voice suddenly spewed, “he’s not her boyfriend.”

the attention that was once on y/n had now shifted to the voice that was evidently sunghoon’s. the girl he liked cocked a head tilt in confusion with how upset he sounded while the others were silently judging him.

jungwon had the look of — ‘you’re busted,’ and jake had the look of — ‘too obvious bro,’ whereas heeseung spoke with his eyes that said — ‘min-su and i are definitely debriefing about this later.’

the rest of the members also exchanged glances that were somewhere along the lines of jungwon’s and jake’s.

as they all stared at him, sunghoon’s cheeks flushed with a deep color of red. “i was just um.. there to witness it, they’re not together.” he tried to play it off, but ji-woo was obviously not convinced.

“so you just witnessed it? that’s it?” she questioned towards the awkward male who was just nodding.

hating how quick the atmosphere became awkward, y/n broke the ice by saying, “okay okay, that’s enough. i’m hungry, let’s go.”

the tense moment passed and each couple went in their own transportation (as did sunghoon and y/n), allowing jay to drive sunoo and niki.

while hoon drove, y/n controlled the music.

“oh come on, stop putting this song on.” he grumbled.

“what! come on, it’s cute!” she defended, lightly slapping his arm.

the boy sent a scowling look as he replied, “it���s not cute, it’s sad and depressing.”

“hoon, it’s lily of the valley, how can you hate it??”

“it’s not the vibes right now,” he uttered while making a signal turn.

y/n rolled her eyes. she played the song because it was thee song she associated him with. “fine..,” she groaned, fingers typing fast to change the music.

silence filled the air for a second before another slow and steady song played, causing sunghoon to shoot her another look.

“what!”

“this song is still sad, y/n.”

the song that she put on was ‘everything’ by the black skirts — another song she associated him with.

“excuse me, you like sad songs! that’s what we have in common, loser.” the girl fumed while crossing her arms together.

hoon let out a low chuckle that sent goosebumps down her spine. “play something more upbeat, these songs are like something you slow dance to.” exactly.

her heart pounded at his words before grumbling out a low sigh. “fine… but just because you never shut up about this song.”

a click to another song was made and ‘mad’ by neyo began to boom in the car.

sunghoon instantly wore a huge smile. “that’s more like it!” he beamed, glancing over at her to shine that deathly grin.

y/n felt a butterfly tingle in her stomach but ignored it with her random karaoke session with him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

soon, the group found themselves gathered around a table with large mounts of fried chicken and fried goods in the center.

“let’s eat!” yelled one of the boys.

everyone began digging in and enjoying the food in front of them.

the couples sat across from each other, being love sick in watching their partner eat and be full on their tummies.

meanwhile, the single friends were in absolute disgust. every face morphed into horror as niki uttered — “we’re trying to eat here, stop that.”

ji-woo rolled her eyes at him as she squished her favorite boy’s cheeks, causing his glasses to slightly fall to the tip of his nose. jake gave a cheeky grin afterward as he muzzled his head further into her hands.

y/n nudged her. “ew ji-woo, don’t do that.”

“we’re cute, shut up.”

the single girl turned her attention to sunghoon who was also mirroring her facial expression. she cracked a laugh as soon as she saw him side eyeing his close friend.

“alright, just because you guys aren’t together, doesn’t mean that you guys can judge us.” min-su murmured. “but that is disgusting, ji-woo.”

the group erupted into harsh laughs afterwards, allowing a few to choke here and there on their chicken.

the night continued on and everyone soon went back to their light jokes about other things.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

eventually, the gang gathered out of the restaurant and left in their separate ways.

the couples left together of course, and jay took niki and sunoo — giving just sunghoon to take y/n home.

“are you gonna play better music?” he asked while getting in the car.

“um.. sure!” she beamed back.

he let out a soft chuckle before driving off to her address.

once the car ride that was filled with endless talks of past high school memories reached its destination (sorry that was long), sunghoon stopped the car with a soft screech.

“so i’ll see you tomorrow?” the tall male asked with a slight eyebrow raise. he leaned his head closer towards her, causing her heart rate to rapidly increase.

she gulped down her saliva before nodding her head. “yes, i’ll be more ready tomorrow..,” she murmured, voice weakening at the end to highlight her vulnerability.

he chuckled at her empty promise — “yeah you keep telling yourself that, i’ll be here around the same time.” his sparkly eyes trailed down from her lips and back to her eyes.

a nervous gulp was taken as he leaned in just an inch closer, leaving an obvious gap between them. the gap that defined their relationship. the clear boundary that was between friends and lovers.

it only lingered for a second before sunghoon pulled away, not letting any suspicions creep in with his feelings for her.

y/n panicked for a second. she felt the yearn for their lips to connect, but she, too, ignored it with the way he pulled away.

the girl rolled her eyes as she slightly smacked his shoulder. “whatever, bye hoonie!” she tried to break the awkward atmosphere.

his cheeks instantly grew red at the name call. she’s only used it on serious occasions and for her to just randomly call him that throbbed his heart.

“b..bye,” he nervously stuttered, mentally smacking his head afterward.

y/n beamed a smile, waving goodbye as she rushed out to avoid any other tension-filled moment.

soon, hoon drove off once confirming that she entered in safely.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a week had now passed, and their exam for chemistry was coming up.

y/n walked into the class, shoulders slumping down as she was reminded of their test. a pout formed on her face while taking her seat next to sanha.

the boy beamed a sweet smile towards her, catching sunghoon’s attention and causing him to almost break his pencil in half.

“hey y/n.”

her head whipped up to sanha in an instant. “since our exam is coming up, i was wondering if we could have a study session soon?”

“oh.. yeah, sure! when did you want to do it?”

hoon’s ears were colored red with every word that was processing through, but still, he was eager to hear more about the plans.

“how about today? are you free?”

“yeah, i should be after 4.” y/n responded, displaying a half smile towards the cute boy.

“okay, i’ll text you where to meet me at the library.”

she nodded in agreement before turning to the professor’s attention.

sunghoon scoffed like he always did, loud and clear. “study session my ass,” he mumbled under his breath.

sunoo laughed at his reaction as he softly ridiculed the older male. y/n didn’t catch on though, remaining attentive to the lecture; while hoon silently fumed in his seat even more.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when the day was almost coming to an end, y/n found herself already done with the study session.

sanha and her walked out while he apologetically said, “sorry that i’m not able to drop you off, i would but i have to rush home.”

she shook her head at his expression of regret. “don’t be! it’s okay, i’ll find a ride home, a family member will come!” she lied.

he walked away from the scene after uttering out another sorry. in return, she waved goodbye as she huffed out a breath of air.

“i’m alone.. and it’s dark… and i’m on an empty campus.. great!” the girl cursed to herself.

she sighed as she reached for her phone. “my last resort..”

y/n <33:

hoon..

um are you awake…

hoonster :) :

??

It’s 6, of course I’m awake

You need something?

y/n <33:

oh… LMAO

um..

hoonster :) :

???

What happened? Are you okay?

y/n <33:

can you..

pick me up….

hoonster :) :

Yeah I’m on my way

You’re still on campus?

y/n <33:

yeah…

hoonster :) :

Okay I’m coming right now

“that easy?” y/n questioned to herself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a few minutes passed and sunghoon pulled up with his car.

a sigh of relief left her mouth as she rushed to her passenger princess seat.

“thank goodness,” the girl mumbled with a clench to her chest.

“so this date of yours couldn’t even take your home?” hoon asked, giving an unbelievable scoff afterwards.

y/n rolled her eyes as he turned into a lane. “shut up. and it wasn’t a date, we just studied together,” she replied while looking out the window.

“you’re saying it wasn’t a date but i saw how you tried to make it subtle in touching up your makeup.” he paused for a second. contemplating whether he should say it or not, he impulsively spoke, “you looked pretty.”

her head quickly shot up. “what?”

“nothing,” the male swiftly shot back. “you really went out with him though?”

her heart began to burn at his question. “i mean.. it was just a study session, nothing more.” she nervously picked at her fingers, nails scratching at the barrier of skin.

a loud ‘pft’ left sunghoon’s mouth. “yeah that’s how it starts, idiot.” jealousy seethed through his body as he poked his tongue through his cheek.

“sunghoon-“

“can i just tell you something real quick?” he asked, letting the car come to a harsh halt at a semi-empty parking lot.

y/n cocked her head. “sure..?”

hoon avoided eye contact for a second, turning his head away once he felt his cheeks heat up.

“you okay..?” he heard his favorite girl ask.

his throat cleared and he finally locked eye contact with her. “i can’t take it anymore, y/n.”

“take what?”

“i can’t stand seeing you talk to some guy you barely know. i can’t stand it, i hate that you’re talking to him like he’s your boyfriend when you…,” he stopped in a breathless voice.

y/n didn’t say anything, hinting that he should continue — “when you should be doing that with me.”

“hoon-“

“i know we’re friends and i know i probably just made matters worse but i can’t stand it anymore. i want you, y/n.“

sunghoon’s hand firmly gripped onto the steering wheel in fear, heart almost beating out of his chest with how abrupt he was being.

“i’m sorry, i understand that you probably don’t like me back but i-“

his constant ranting was shut up with a soft peck on the lips. immediately, his eyes widened and he choked a little on his saliva with how quick the kiss was.

y/n breathed out a laugh at his reaction, grinning wide as she replied, “i like you too.. loser.”

sunghoon bit his lips in an attempt to hide his smile. he was feeling shy for a second before immediately pulling her back onto his lips. they smashed against each others, causing a satisfied groan to leave his throat.

he was finally kissing the girl he’s been liking since high school and all he could do was groan.

his hands cupped her cheeks as hers laid on his shoulders. his lips continued to firmly press against hers before pulling away.

hoon heavily breathed, eyes closing shut at the weighing relief that lifted off of his shoulders.

“like you.. so, so much.” he whispered in her ear.

y/n giggled, feeling the ticklish breath linger around her. “shut up, i heard you.” she teased.

he cackled a laugh as well before bringing his gaze up to her, letting his eyes stare at her heated face.

the girl quickly noticed and nudged his head away. “stop looking at me with those eyes,” she shamed her own head away before glancing at him again.

“what eyes?” sunghoon questioned, brows teasingly raising with a mischievous grin. his eyes trailed up and down as he stayed in a complete daze.

y/n groaned out a sigh as she pushed him away again. “stop it, hoonie.”

he felt blood rush to his cheeks with every heart throb that was taken. that nickname would now permanently be only for her to use.

“call me that again.”

“what? hoonie?” y/n poked, lips curling into a smile.

the male grinned ear to ear before pulling her into another soft kiss.

a second passed and he pulled away.

“i should take you home but i can’t stop kissing you.” he whispered gently against her skin.

“take me on a real date and then you can kiss me all you want.”

his hands intertwined with hers and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss at the back of it.

“okay i’ll take you on one tomorrow, show you what sanha couldn’t do.”

y/n playfully rolled her eyes — “yeah yeah you do that.”

he kissed her cheek before backing the car out of its parking spot.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

soon, the two arrived to her place late at night, and it was then that sunghoon promised her an actual date for tomorrow.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, gorgeous.”

“gorgeous??” her head bolted at the name, and he only cheekily smiled.

“yeah.. gorgeous.”

“shut up.. good night.” y/n’s cheeks flushed with red as she left the car.

he watched her safely get in and soon drove off with silent giggles and warm heart throbs.

sunghoon and y/n were officially a couple. no more being idiots, and no more being friends.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[bonny-kookoo]

I like u couple is so cute!!! Has mc met any of jk's exes? Like maybe even saw them around randomly? How did that go? Really curious how jk became the way he was at the start of their relationship

A/N: Warnings for potentially triggering content. Mentions of suicidal thoughts (VERY brief mention), PTSD.

"Oh, Jungkook?" A voice asks, and he wants to just get swallowed by the ground below. He really doesn't want to deal with her right now or ever- but mostly because he's not sure if he's capable of really dealing with it yet.

If he will ever be able to.

"Oh it is you! My god-" his ex smiles, visibly stunned by his appearance in the store. "-You.. wow. You changed a lot. How are you?" She asks, and and Jungkook can't help but let his tongue run over his piercings. They're new- she's never seen any of the by now two of them. Neither has she ever seen his new tattoos, now all colored and bold, and neither has he ever been this good in shape.

"I'm good." He nods, a bit tense, and she nods, her eyes familiar but also terrifying to him. He's scared of her. Not because she could physically hurt him right now or ever-

But because she hurt him emotionally, and he knows that's something she's probably still capable of, if he lets her.

"Listen.. I know we kind of ended on a bad note, and I'd.. I felt bad ever since." She apologizes, biting her lip, before she pulls out her phone. "Can we maybe talk? I want to at least.. I don't know, explain myself to you. Explain why you.. kind of made me feel like I had to break up, you know?" She says, and he feels his throat clog up as if he's having a panic attack.

He can't bring himself to tell her no. He's never been able to.

"And hey, it probably was good to take a break- I mean look at you!" She giggles almost excitedly. "You look like you finally grew up to be a man!" She laughs, and he's hurting again.

It's always been like that, even back then. Whenever she was happy, he wasn't. It was as if only his misery brought her joy.

"Still quiet though.." she teases, leaning in to catch his gaze as he's looking down. Maybe it's the fact she's older than him. Maybe she's always been intimidating to him. Or maybe he just felt like prey in her claws, her personality leaving him no breathing room. She's confident after all-

Wait. You're confident too. Why are you never making him feel like that?

You're just as bold, just as loud, just as confident. And yet, he never feels so suffocated like he does right now with her. You never make him feel pressured, or caged in, or as if he's cornered.

He feels free with you. He feels at ease. Soft. Alive.

When everything she's ever made him feel was the wish to be dead.

He takes a step back, breathes in, finally finds her gaze. "I don't want to." He says, and it's visible in her entire posture and face that she's taken aback. "And yeah- the breakup.. was good for me. It.. gave me time to heal." He nods to himself, as if he has to hype himself up to keep going.

Her brows lower. Her eyes become serious. He feels his confidence crumble.

"Kookie! I finally found one that fits-" you chirp, stopping for a second, sensing the tension. "Oh." You say.

"Oh." She says at the same time, clearly surprised.

It's now that Jungkook realizes the difference between you and her. You're colorful, vibrant, sparkling like a gemstone, happy and most of all-

Honest. In every word you say, everything you do.

"Awesome. Let's go pay for it and then get something to eat." He tells you, suddenly feeling energized again, as if your presence suddenly put armor on him. You're here. She can't hurt him if you're here.

"I see." She says, chuckles to herself as she looks you up and down. "Interesting choice." She bites. You laugh.

"Could say the same. You sure that top fits?" You giggle, before you take Jungkook's hand, making him grin, dimples showing.

And right there, between cheap jewelry and discount clothing is where he leaves her, his past, and his fears.

Walking out the store.

Together with you.

[bibibbon]

I made a huge mistake in going to the MHA subreddit. The braindead takes on 427 have me convinced I'm stuck in a parallel universe where we're reading a completely different story:

"It's great seeing Deku play therapist with the LOV, but all it seems to have done is make things worse!" A) Izuku shouldn't be having to play therapist to begin with, considering he's a 16 year old kid. B) most of the LOV don't see anything they did as wrong, so idk what the fuck Izuku can do about that. Also, WHY AREN'T PEOPLE HELPING IZUKU WITH HIS OWN GODDAMN FEELINGS?!

Apparently Bakugou killed Kurogiri, and there's absolutely ZERO reaction to it both in and out of universe. So of fucking course Izuku is a murderer, but not their precious Bakugou 🥱.

"I feel like Hori's really underrated as a writer!" Horikoshi doesn't know Show Don't Tell, how to actually develop characters, and how to craft actual stakes in the narrative from a hole in the ground. Also, MHA is one of the most popular mangas worldwide, so you're not even using underrated right.

"I feel like Horikoshi sees our discussions and then implements them in the story!" This I can kind of agree with, considering how much y'all hate Izuku and worship Bakugou. But on the other hand, I really doubt Horikoshi thinks the MHA subreddit is as important as you think it is.

"Bakugou's totally going to ask Izuku to start their own hero agency together at the end!" Jesus fucking Christ, just say you hate Izuku. How would that be a great ending for him? He not only has to see the source of his low self esteem and borderline suicidal feelings achieving the dream he'll now never have, but you want them to WORK together?!

@nutzgunray-lvt 👋

Well a lot of the time looking into Reddit is always a mistake unless you're asking a very niche question and you get an answer from 9 years ago or something.

I feel like a lot of people whether that be in universe or in fandom forget that izuku is a 16 year old child soldier. Izuku is more than a decade younger than a lot of the villains in the leauge. He is a child who has been exploited by the system and abused. We have seen in 425 izuku try and talk to someone but simply get brushed aside and while I don't blame shoto or ochako for doing that as they probably didn't mean it and are traumatised themselves it kinda of shows how much this has effected izuku. Also this doesn't help BECAUSE HORI GAVE US NO FLIPPING INTROPSECTION ON IZUKU'S BIT AGAIN!! Also Iam not sure if it's just me but Izuku's eye bags are heavily prominent in this chapter especially when he is talking to spinner.

The fandom especially the lov stans side of it love babayifying the actions of the leauge and hyper fixating on the humane soft side they may have while completely ignoring the horrible actions they commited. I talk about this better in one of @palesweetscherryblossom asks

I still can't believe that bk may of killed kurogiri. I don't even know when that happend and I checked the wiki but it says that kurogiris status is unconfirmed so I will be waiting until the last chapter to fully acknowledge if kurogiri is dead or not. However this brings up the point that the fandoms is being quite hypocritical if they're calling izuku a murder but not bakugo. They both killed people but for some reason it's izuku thats put into public light and bashing instead of all the other characters that have killed in the series including villains.

Yeah sometimes it feels like hori is looking at discussions of his series and implementing ideas but I think that goes more for his Japanese fans than us to be honest because after all they're his target demographic. I remember when I first joined Tumblr one of my earliest posts talked about how horikoshi's writing decisions were heavily influenced by his fans which may or may not be true.

At this point IAM convinced that izuku isn't getting a proper happy ending. Every time I think it can't get worse it does. Just by your comment of them starting an agency together haunts me just like the possibility that bk may become the number one hero

[lostinthenight-snow]

YOURE SO FUCKING PATHETIC

TW for mentions of suicide utc

So. Guess who's being threatened and told to kill themselves?

Me! Snow! Though I also go by Ember!

I think one of the biggest mistakes I made was choosing to create an rp account for a character like Sae right before season two came out. I should have known that he would be put in a tough spot with a lot of characters slating him and hating on him.

It started with one message. I wasn't that bothered with the first one, saying that Sae should have been died in Spain or something. I just deleted it because yeah, I don't wanna answer that kind of ask, but go ahead and ask it if you want to.

And then it just got out of hand, like you can see here. I don't know how hate towards Sae spreads to me as a mod, and why I'm receiving this level of hate. It's really fucking hurtful. Sae as a character shows no reflection of who Ember is as a person. That's the fun of fiction, keeping it separate from reality.

But anons have taken it too far these past 24 hours. I've turned off anon asks for a while to cool down and hope they leave me alone.

I just wanted to say to everyone here that you're free to rp pretty much any blog you like. Characterise anyone you like. Fiction has never been reality. And there is nothing wrong with 'liking' a bad character. Nothing.

And by the way! If you know my main, chances are you read the replies of my pinned post. Where I said my discord tag. Did you search it on tumblr to find me? Such dedication. Well done! My main account is lakeside-paradise. Check it out if you want.

As of now, I'm not sure what I want to do. Maybe I'll just leave here altogether. Maybe I'll make another account. Maybe I'll change this one. I just need some time to think about all this.

Alright, gang? We good? Good.

Tagging: @worlds-best-striker in case you wanted to see

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hii! Could you make a fluff snippet about a hero and a villain that have a mission that they have to pretend they are a couple,and give their first kiss? L love your snippets :) you are my favorite writer in tumblr💜💜

For you: a cookie 🍪

Dating had always seemed rather difficult to the hero. Opening up to someone, being vulnerable and revealing the depths of their mind wasn’t exactly what they deemed safe. In their career, countless people had betrayed them and the hero had never felt ready to be in a relationship.

Which was why they had dreaded this. Dating their enemy surely sounded like suicide.

The hero had struggled with the thought of living with someone for weeks just for the sake of the mission. The hero had a lot of problems, had a lot of issues and they hated to be viewed as anything less than perfect. They were a mess, their lifestyle was a mess. The hero couldn’t cook, couldn’t clean, couldn’t take care of themselves.

Sleep was an enemy, rest was too. And the hero had truly thought the villain would get annoyed and break off the arrangement.

But that didn’t happen.

“How’s your anxiety?” the hero asked quietly. Going out was probably the most challenging thing for both of them. Pretending to be in love wasn’t exactly easy.

“Much better, thank you.” The villain smiled at them from across the table and it wasn’t fake. They had chosen one of the restaurants where their targets were regulars and it wasn’t cheap. It turned out that the villain could be a very sweet thing, supporting the hero and making them feel better about themselves.

“…I was thinking about your idea. I’d like to try it,” the hero said. The villain looked at them and a soft blush covered their cheeks. Unbelievable that this person could name every bone in your body and break it with no struggle.

“Only if you’re comfortable, of course.”

“No, I…I think it’s good to try out. If I’m up all night you get no sleep either. Maybe physical contact can help with that. Something about survival instincts, I don’t know,” the hero said. Cuddling with the villain all night long didn’t sound too bad. It was just something…new. Physical contact was usually unpleasant for the hero. All they seemed to know was anger and violence.

Sometimes the hero wondered what it would be like to give into those feelings and simply do as their emotions told them. But they were pretty sure they would end up on the villain’s side then.

“I think we’re pretty good at this. The mission, obviously.”

“Oh, yeah…yeah, you’re right.” The hero looked at the empty plates, the empty glasses. Both of them didn’t really feel safe around people. Being a popular hero or a hated villain had those side effects. “Have you seen our targets yet?”

“No, I think they cancelled their reservations again,” the villain said. They let their eyes jump from table to table. The subtlety of it impressed the hero.

“Assholes.”

“Let’s pay, hm?” Let’s pay meant let me pay. The villain hadn’t even once let the hero take out their wallet and the hero knew whatever the villain did, whatever they said — all of it wasn’t real. However, no matter how hard they tried to convince themselves, they couldn’t help but find it sweet and dared to love it.

Once they were outside, the villain put their jacket around the hero’s shoulders and they walked home slowly.

“Do you think going out in a week again would be too suspicious?” The hero’s lips curled into a smile and they looked at the villain.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Even though the evening was turning into night, the hero could see how red the villain’s ears got. They scratched their neck and laughed nervously.

“That’s a very weird way of putting it.”

“Hm. Well, you can invite me on a professional business dinner, then. If that’s less weird.” The hero shrugged and smiled to themselves. Getting to know the villain, breaking the hard shell and discovering that the villain was passionate and sweet and maybe just as broken as they were, made the hero feel connected.

They didn’t know for how long they had chased this feeling. To be understood, to be…loved.

God, these feelings were horribly wrong.

“Or invite me on a date, your call,” they said quietly, nearly whispered it. It was meant as a joke. A joke rooted in hope.

“The date, then. Please,” the villain answered and the hero’s heart skipped a few beats. They played with the sleeves of the villain’s jacket nervously.

“…it was a nice dinner,” the hero said.

“Yeah, it was very nice.” They came to a stop and looked at each other. The hero could feel the villain’s gaze reaching into the depths of their heart. Their eyes dropped to the hero’s lips. For a moment, the hero thought their nemesis was leaning towards them but the villain only smiled lazily, cleared their throat and kept on walking with slow steps.

“I think you’re the first person I’ve ever dated. Even though it’s fake. It feels good,” they said. “I never went out on dates. Not like this.”

“Yeah, I get that. Feels like ages since I kissed someone. Not really the perfect life for a relationship,” the hero said. The hero turned to look at the (blushing) villain but when their eyes met, they seemed more than nervous.

“Can I?” They barely said the next words. “Can I please kiss you?”

“Yes.” The hero nodded desperately and felt the desperation between them growing when the villain came closer and held them. Their lips were on the other’s in seconds and, Christ, the hero couldn’t stop replying with kisses.

[sundewhasaudhd]

Fuck it, I know I said I wouldn’t post things about my AU’s out of order, but it’s my blog, and do want I fucking want

Sad TNT duo scene (tw: knives, suicide)

(PS, this thing’s pretty long, so you might wanna go grab some potatocorn or something):

W: *Looking down sadly at his reflection in his knife*

Q: *Practically slams open this man’s fucking door like he isn’t breaking and entering* Jesus fucking Christ Wilbur, where the fuck have you been?! I…people were really starting to worry about you.

W: (to himself) You, you cared?

Q: What?

W: Nothing. Why are you here?

Q: Did you not hear me dipshit, looking for you. I hadn’t seen you in a few days, I was starting to get concerned.

W: That feels a bit dramatic, don’t you think?

Q: Not when you’re at my border bugging me everyday, no

W: …

Q: You ok?

W: Yeah, yeah, I’m fine

Q: You sure? There were a lot of pauses in that four word sentence. Y’know if you have something you want to say to me you can say it

W: Yeah, since when has that been true?

Q: Excuse me 

W: Never mind, that’s not important right now

Q: Feels pretty damn important, but ok, sure

W: *takes a deep breathe* Quackity, kill me

Q: W-w-w

W: It’s perfect, I won’t be able to hurt you or anyone else, and you won’t have to put up with me anymore 

Q: Wilbur if this is your idea of “a joke” it’s not very funny

W: What about me asking you to kill me sounds like a joke to you? It’s not that hard if that’s what you’re concerned about. There are a bunch of knives in here, just take your pick. There are some over there, I think I have one near my bed, plus I’m sure you plenty weapons in your room. *Wilbur’s voice starts fading out* And you don’t have to make it painless if you don’t want to… *his voice is completely drowned out by either ringing or static, I haven’t fully decided yet*

Q: N-no you said you wouldn’t leave me! Th-that you’d be here for me! You promised you wouldn’t leave me again! You promised!

W: That’s what I do Quackity. I lie. I lie and I hurt and that’s all I’ll ever be good for. I can’t change that, no one can, which is why it’d be better for everyone if you just killed me

Q: I- no I’m not gonna kill you Wilbur!

W: Quackity, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me a single reason why I still deserve to live, why I should still be here tomorrow

Q: I-

W: You can’t. I know you can’t. And that’s okay. That’s great even! That’s you realizing how badly I’ve hurt you, and that you shouldn’t want me around *placing his knife in Quackity’s hand, which his dumbass doesn’t notice, because Wilbur’s touching his face and he’s gay* I don’t deserve to live Quackity. *starts moving Quackity’s hands (the knife) towards his chest* You should know that more then anyone. The only thing I’ve ever given you is pain, especially when you’re already hurting. You’re just doing yourself a disservice by letting me live.

W: Y’know, I really will miss you. You’re my favorite person, and I love spending every second I can with you. But that’s really selfish of me. At least you won’t miss have to miss me. Hell, anyone with half a brain cell won’t miss me

Q: What the fuck are you on about, of course I’d miss you if you died!

W: No, you won’t. I mean, come on, why would you. You hate me, remember

Q: I don’t h- *sees the knife in his hands, and then immediately drops it* Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?!

W: EVERYTHING!!! Every single decision I’ve ever made was at the expense of someone else! I’m trying to do the only good thing I can with my pathetic existence by ending it, which YOU don’t seem to understand! 

Q: Because that’s stupid! Yeah, you’ve hurt people, so what? We’ve all hurt someone else at some point!

W: CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

Q: …

W: I’m- this is exactly what I’m talking about. This is all I do. So, just pick up the knife, and put an end to my pathetic existence

Q: No! I won’t kill you Wilbur

W: Why are you being so stubborn about this?

Q: Because I love you, ok! I love you a lot. You’re the only constant in my life, and I really don’t wanna think about what would happen if you weren’t here. You’re my everything. And I *shaky sigh* I just can’t lose you again

W: …

Q: Fuck, just forget I said anything. I’ll just leave and pray that your not dead tomorrow mornin-

W: *hugs in gay* I love you too 

Q: *starts crying while hugging Wilbur tighter*

IF YOU LIKE MY SCRIPTS, PLEASE REBLOG :3

[bra1nw0rmz]

Hello!! A question for you, not in a offensive light at all but I wanna ask why you like pavlevi so much and how come it doesn't make you uncomfortable with the age gap? We don't know pavs age which is fair enough but.. You get my point! I still love em tho. Maybe I'm a bit conflicted

I’m so sorry but you made a fatal mistake of giving me an opportunity to yap about them ( but thank you for being very nice abt the question, it means a lot :3 )

Slight rant under more… tried my hardest to keep it short but I have so much to say abt these fuckass losers 😔

For the reasons why I like Pavlevi so much. It’s because they are my two favourite characters, I need to psychoanalyse them and make them trauma bond or I’ll DIE.

Levi has the solitary soul, he’s been alone for most of his life. What he seriously needs is connection. And I think most of the cast just can’t fundamentally understand him. (I’m not sure if I’m being biased and self projecting here because of my experiences being autistic but yeah 😭) And I genuinely think most of that cast would look at Levi with pity. Almost as if he can’t think for himself. And I think Levi hates it. It’s really a hard feeling to pin down, but it feels weirdly dehumanising?? Like say Karin or smth would mean well but it still feels like you’re being hang up to dry? And I think Levi fucking hates it when everyone is looking at him like that. And the pity ppl have for him comes from a place of being so disconnected from him. Most of them can’t really understand him or what he’s gone through I suppose?? It’s not their faults, it’s just how it is. Society has literally thrown him to wolves. His government striped him of his autonomy, has used him for it’s benefit and now it’s people look at him like this couldn’t have been avoided, that it’s something so sad, to be pitied. Which is also why I love pavlevi bc Pav is the only person that Levi can truely connect with. Someone else who’s gone through the same bullshit, torn apart by the same world. They are both cut from the same stone, just at different stages and coping in different ways which I think is interesting. And it’s so sad because why the hell does it have to be some Bremen fuck that actually treats him like a person and not just something to pity.

As for Pav’s side of the coin. I just really like to torture him. Due to what he’s gone through and seen, being in the army around the same age as Levi, if not younger. I feel like he’d see Levi as being fit to make his own damn decisions. It’s none of Pav’s business, Levi can do whatever and he honestly does not give a shit. But as they get closer I feel like I think Levi brings out all the guilt and shame Pav bottled up and pushed far down in his psyche. Like… he’s had to kill so many just like Levi, all to even get a chance at killing Kaiser. All of it being a glorified elaborate destructive suicide mission. And he’s very fucked up about it. Dread sets in for Pav because??? He’s a terrible person??? He’s had to wear this mask for so long, he doesn’t even know who he really is. Levi is just troubled and has been put in one unfair situation after another. Pav couldn’t move forward and purposely put himself in those situations and did those fucked up things. I also think it’s interesting to think of them as like an intimacy of convenience. Bc they both know they have no future and might die at any second, but it’s better to hold someone’s hand than be alone when you die.

Other tidbits!!

They are fucking funny, like c’mon getting bossed around by the enemy, and a LIEUTENANT on top of that, is fucking hilarious

I feel like you got this from the rant b4 but the Angst potential is crazyyyyy

Pav teasing Levi and making him all flustered, HELLOO??? I love blushy levi

Pav traversing caring for someone else that isn’t himself bc he’s fundamentally a self serving person gggghhh

IFUCKING LOVE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

The way their heavily different personalities clash would be fun

Having someone there who's gone through what you've suffered through is so comforting. you're not alone anymore….. IM SICK IN THE HEAD

I think Levi should be allowed to kiss boys as a treat

I also think he should be allowed to shoot Pav in the head as a treat

As for the age gap.. I don’t like it at all ofc. 😭😭 It’s definitely not ideal. And I can 100% understand how that can be a deal breaker….. but I also feel like people baby Levi too much? He has 1 breakdown because he just got back from war, is going through heroin withdrawals, everyone in his home town has been turned into violent monsters, he’s hearing voices and someone just tried to kill him and he gets labeled a wimp. You put a guy in the worst situation ever and he cries ONCE and ppl call him a crybaby and infantilise him 💀 He’s stronger than people give him credit for… but that’s more of a problem with fandom than anything.

Also like… I tried….. I really tried to not like pavlevi….. But I’m way too fucking autistic abt them. It’s so bad that when I see them I get an adrenaline rush and do laps around my kitchen. I’m so serious. These guys are like pseudo drugs to me, I need to chop my head off.

And ofc I wouldn’t support 18 and 30 smth irl, that’s fucking gross……… And I would say the same for a stalker and her victim.. because look, I love S4marina, but it’s basically in the same boat as Pavlevi to me..

This being a fandom that should primarily be adults, I feel like ppl should understand that. Yk, having better common sense and media literacy to understand this stuff ain’t okay irl. I still realise it’s not everyone’s thing and I’m not trying to convince ppl to like it, just explain why I like it (NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM LIKE I DO, I NEED TO DIE)…. Anyway uuhm I understand it makes some ppl uncomfy, which is valid! Just don’t go into spaces where you’ll be exposed to it ig??? If you seriously don’t like it, the block button/blocking tags is right there. I do that too !!

[cerebralinvasion]

Hiii! I have a BSD request! Its a bot dark but its related to something that Ive been working through lately. Can you do as many bsd characters as you can reacting to their S/O getting emotional on their birthday because they "didn't think they would make it this far"? Like they struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts/SH in their childhood and honestly didn't expect to make it to the age they are now? Its almost my birthday and I've been struggling with the same thing so i wanted some fluff with my favorite characters to help me through it! :) thank you so much!

trigger warnings: mentions of past self harm, depression, and suicidal ideation (reader no longer struggles with those things for the most part)

characters: fyodor, nikolai, dazai, ranpo, yosano, poe, chuuya, jouno, akutagawa

notes: ack sorry this took so long D: i know it’s probably long past your birthday by the time i get this out, but i wish you a happy birthday and i hope you enjoy anyways :))

fyodor

♡ fyodor being fyodor knows exactly what you’re feeling

♡ he understands perfectly why you’re getting emotional and reacting the way you are

♡ and he doesn’t judge you for it in the slightest, he thinks that the way you feel is perfectly valid

♡ he’s just not sure exactly how he should approach the issue or how he can actually help you

♡ but he really does want you to feel well

♡ it’s likely he’d wait for a calm moment between the two of you when there’s not much else going on

♡ something like enjoying a cup of tea together during the morning

♡ he’ll very very subtly poke at the topic and wait for you to explain it all yourself

♡ and once you do he’ll take that chance to comfort you now that you’ve brought it up

♡ “there’s no need for tears, alright? the past is is past and you’re here and well now. that’s what matters. no matter what you thought, you did make it this far.”

nikolai

♡ nikolai is able to tell what’s up when you’re getting upset, even if you try to hide it

♡ but he’s not too keen on making you feel bad or being too blunt when it comes to this

♡ so he mainly tries to focus on distracting you and giving you the best birthday he can

♡ lots of surprises and things for you to enjoy, stuff that makes you personally happy

♡ he kind of pretends to be oblivious to the fact that you’re down for the most part

♡ because he doesn’t want to accidentally make you feel like your emotions are dampening the mood

♡ because they’re not!! your feelings are perfectly valid to him

♡ so instead he only subtly touches on the topic near the end of the day once everything begins to settle down.

♡ “hmmm… you had a good time today, right? so it’s a good thing you’re still around! and as long as i can see your smile then all is right!”

dazai

♡ yeah dazai definitely gets the feeling

♡ but also… it’s dazai

♡ don’t get me wrong, he wants to be able to comfort you and make you feel better

♡ but he just… doesn’t know how

♡ he doesn’t need you to explain or tell him what’s wrong

♡ he already knows

♡ and he’ll probably try to make you feel better by diverting your attention

♡ making a big show of celebrating your birthday, giving you gifts and trying to make it the best birthday he can

♡ he wants to celebrate not only your birthday but the fact that you actually made it this far, even if you didn’t think you could

♡ so his cheesy over the top words proclaring him to be ‘completely at your service for the day’ and all the effort he put in to cater your birthday to you

♡ is kind of his way of telling you that he’s proud, and that he thinks you deserve to celebrate

♡ it’s not until later that night does dazai express his feelings directly

♡ when you’re both half asleep and holding each other under the blankets

♡ “i’m so happy you’re still here to celebrate. i hope you had fun today. and i want us to do this again.”

♡ again… that’s right

♡ he wants to make sure he can celebrate your birthday again

♡ and again, and again after that

ranpo

♡ despite his skills as a detective, ranpo can be pretty oblivious

♡ but he knows that somethings up, even if he doesn’t know what

♡ and he doesn’t like that! it’s your birthday! and you’re his partner!

♡ he thinks you really deserve to be happy and have a good day

♡ and he thinks that beating around the bush won’t help you feel better

♡ so while he will initially wait for you to tell him yourself

♡ if he decides your taking to long, he’ll just jumpstart the conversation

♡ so he very bluntly asks what’s wrong with you

♡ it might’ve come off as rude if you didn’t know him better, but you can tell he genuinely wants to know

♡ when you do tell him he’s kind of like ‘oh’

♡ and he sits there quietly for a little while

♡ because he doesn’t exactly know what to say

♡ it’s not often that he cares about being sensitive with others feelings and being careful about making them happy

♡ but when it’s you, he puts in a lot more effort to watch his words

♡ he thinks a lot more before he speaks, because he really does care about how you feel

♡ “you didn’t think you’d make it this far, but you did, didn’t you? you’ve made it through.” he pauses for a second before beginning to speak in a quieter tone. “and you’re going to keep making it through. so don’t be sad anymore… please?”

yosano

♡ oh my god

♡ what’s this?

♡ a single person in this list that actually has good communication skills?? impossible.

♡ but for real, yosano doesn’t beat around the bush

♡ the second she gets an inkling that you’re not doing well, she brings up the topic

♡ in an actual normal way

♡ she’s not overly blunt to the point of rude, but she’s also not skittish around the topic

♡ a soft ‘are you alright?’ with a concerned glance to you

♡ when you do explain she’s very understanding

♡ while she may not specialize in psychology, it’s still something she has some basic knowledge of

♡ so even though she can’t say she’s experienced the same feelings you have, she very much so understands them

♡ “and yet you’ve persevered despite the circumstances. i know it hasn’t been easy, but you did it anyways. it took a lot of strength and i believe that’s more than enough cause to celebrate. because you deserve a wonderful birthday and many more.”

poe

♡ poe is really nervous about accidentally making you more upset when it comes to this

♡ he really wants to make you happy! and he hates seeing you sad

♡ but he just doesn’t know what to do, and is really scared of doing the wrong thing

♡ so he tries to be cautious

♡ being extra soft with you and making sure not to say anything that could touch a sensitive subject, for the most part

♡ though at some point, one of you is gonna give

♡ whether it’s you finally confessing to him about the way you’d feeling

♡ or it’s him just getting to worried seeing you so down

♡ whoever brought it up, when you do begin to explain he’s very quiet, encouraging you to speak your mind without interruption before he responds

♡ “i’m so sorry to hear you feel that way…if you ever need my help, please let me know. i really do care about you and i don’t know what i would do if you ever needed me and i wasn’t there for you.”

chuuya

♡ chuuya loves you a lot it’s true!

♡ but he definitely doesn’t notice you feeling down at first

♡ it’s not that he doesn’t care! he cares about you so so much

♡ it’s just that, he’s not very… observant

♡ he pays attention, yes, but he’s not the very best at reading people

♡ he might be able to tell that somethings up, but he won’t be able to figure out what exactly is wrong unless you tell him

♡ so as soon as you do explain why you’ve been down it instantly clicks for him

♡ and he feels like a dumbass for not getting it sooner

♡ he makes sure to let you know how genuinely proud he is of you

♡ and how happy he is that you made it to where you are today

♡ “you’re so strong, i hope you know that. i’m so proud of you. i’m so lucky you’re alive.”

jouno

♡ unlike chuuya, jouno is very observant, especially when it comes to you

♡ so he was able to tell what was wrong

♡ especially since he was aware of your history with both self harm and suicidal thoughts before now

♡ does this mean he knows how to talk to you about it?

♡ absolutely not i’m so sorry

♡ while jouno is very much used to observing and being aware of how others felt, due to their heartbeat

♡ he’s not at all used to actually caring the way he does when it comes to you

♡ so he’s not exactly sure how to genuinely make you feel better, but that’s not to say he doesn’t try

♡ “you don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to. but if you need to talk i’m here to listen, yeah?”

♡ like he said, he’ll listen if you’d like to talk

♡ but if you’d rather not have a discussion he understands that as well

♡ if you don’t feel like talking about it, his method of cheering you up would probably involve distraction

♡ telling you interesting facts and stuff to get your mind off of it

♡ because while he’s not the best at filling a conversation with comforting words he is decently adept when it comes to small talk and casual chatter

akutagawa

♡ akutagawa is not a man who understands emotions very well

♡ not his own and certainly not others

♡ but if there’s one thing he knows it’s that he wants you to be happy

♡ and he’s worried because he doesn’t know how to do that

♡ but he really really wants to, more than anything

♡ he doesn’t know how to approach the topic

♡ even if he can tell you’re upset, he fears if he brings it up, he may make it worse

♡ so it’ll be up to you to tell him plainly how you feel

♡ “i… i can’t say that i will know how to help you when you feel this way, but i can say that i will always be on your side. and if you ever need it, i am always here to listen. i’m glad that you’re still around.”

♡ it’s quiet and mumbled, his words unsure and shaky

♡ he isn’t used to talking from the heart like this

♡ but every word is true

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Fuckin' with the Ecosystem- Chapter 3

Characters: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: With Carmy receiving Mikey's goodbye letter and you coming to understand the dire financial state of the restaurant, emotions are flying high. The nightmare doesn't let up until Carmy stumbles upon a fuck ton of money which leads him to ask you a very important question.

Warnings: Suicide mention, anxiety, cursing, alcohol.

A/n: This took way longer than I originally planned. This chapter is a long one and there's a lot of emotions. I wanted to make sure I did it right. I'm really enjoying writing this series and honestly I could write about Carmy all day, everyday! I've got big plans coming for this story so let me know if you want me to start a tag list. Please let me know what you think! Any interaction is super helpful for me :)

If you haven't read, here's: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

Enjoy!

It's Tuesday, and you're very aware of the days slipping through your fingers. When booking your flights, you thought two weeks would be too long but thought it wouldn't be bad to have some left over time to check out Chicago. Now that you're here, you were worried you weren't going to have enough time to go through everything with Carmy before heading back.

You arrive at the restaurant at 9 am to see Carmy already here and the others starting to filter in. As per usual, Marcus has been in since 7am, exploring the world of dessert making.

You take a sip from your hot coffee before reaching over for the leatherbound book on the other end of the desk. You've only flipped through it lightly not seeing anything that would be any importance. But you decided to have a deeper look to see if you're missing anything.

You open it and start scanning it. Each page consisted of a list of numbers with no order or description. Some of them crossed out, other not. The further you studied it, the more confused you got.

Was this the way Mikey was keeping track of this debts? You thought to yourself resting your forehead on your hand as you continued to flick through the pages.

"Carmy" you called out seeing him walk past the office.

He paused and leaned into the doorway, his hair more chaotic than usual.

"Uhh.. you a'ight?" You checking in on him noticing his messy state.

"Y-yeah, good, Why?" He questioned.

You shook your head slightly, remembering the actual reason why you stopped him.

"I'm going through Mikey's notebooks and seeing if there's any notes he may written down, and I stumbled on KBL electric, ring any bells?" You asked moving the book closer to him.

He leans down and furrowed his brows, pausing for a moment. His arm resting on the back of the chair you're sitting on.

"Uhh.." He raised his eyebrows.

His eyes continued to stare at the notebook like his mind was searching for the connection. You noticed his curls sticking up awkwardly and smiled to yourself.

"No...no idea" He eventually said.

You paused for a moment before flicking a couple of pages and point your finger to the same words but with $300,000 scribbled underneath.

"This?" You asked again.

He shook his head and stood up. He had no clue what that was about. Mikey was known for not being clear, but this was a joke at this stage. He made a mental note on how important bookkeeping was going to be when this place got sorted. He was not going to go through this nightmare again.

"Mornin'" Richie yawned strolling by, sporting an original beef zipped hoodie.

"Cousin" Carmy called at him, making him take a few steps back.

You glance up at him and noticed the tiredness still clinging to his eyes.

"Do you have any idea what this is about?" Carmy gestured to the desk looking over at him.

Richie readjusted the strap on his shoulder of his bag and took a step forward. He leaned in, bringing his eyes to the page.

"KBL electric" He said to himself, thinking.

"Fuck if I know" He flickered his eyes and gave a shrug before continuing his way to his locker.

Carmy brought his hand to his forehead, pushing his hair back. He let out deep exhale, continuing to look at the writing in the book.

"Look, maybe I'll come across something else that might give us a hint." You said, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

"I'll let you know if I see anything else." You brought your eyes back down to the book.

"Sounds good." Carmy stayed there for a beat before going back into the kitchen.

Time goes by, you have no idea how long it been. You hear a light cough and look up to see Marcus.

"Shit!" You gasped to yourself, completely startled.

"Fuck Marcus, a little warning? Maybe a knock?" You said putting your hand on your chest, feeling your racing heart.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He smiled looking down at you.

You brought your eyes down to see him holding a freshly made donut covered in icing sugar. He placed the plate on the desk.

"This looks.. unreal" You grinned picking up the donut glancing up at him.

"Yeah, well... I thought if I was gonna to really start nailing this down, I needed to learn the classics first." Marcus licked his lips, waiting for me to take my first bite.

You take a bite, a big one, making sure you get some of the filling. The dough is fresh and pulls away so delicately. Once you get a couple of chews in, the filling hits your tongue. The sweetest jam awakens your tastebuds. You raise your eyebrows out of pure instinct of how unexpectedly delicious it is. You pull away the donut and look at it to see the rich red filling oozes out of the donut. You bring your finger up to it to catch it before any of it drips off.

"Mhhmm...Dahhmmn Marcus." You called out with your mouth half full with donut.

He instantly beams, shining that big bright smile at you.

"Good?" He asked, angling his head.

"Fuck yeah, way better than good!" You complimented.

You lean in for another bite and stop.

"I can have the rest of this, right?" You double-checked looking up at him.

He nodded, chuffed with himself that he could get someone to react to his baking that way. With Syd and Carmy being critical about his previous attempts, he lacked the little bit of confidence.

You take another bite and enjoy the perks of being around a training prodigy of a pastry chef.

"Mmhh you show..mhh Syd... yet?" You asked with a mouthful of donut.

"Not yet.. I don't think I'm there yet. " He shook his head, putting his hands on his beanie.

"Marcus! Nah, I'm changing that." You swallowed and put the half ate donut back on the plate.

"Syd! Sy-" You yelled out leaning out the doorway over his shoulder.

"No, no- needa still fix-" Marcus put up his hands, trying to block the doorway. It didn't take a second before the swinging door opened.

"Yea?" She popped her head out, wondering what the commotion was.

"You gotta try this!" You said excitedly, glancing up at Marcus.

The grin was gone off his face and replaced with a slightly nervous one. You gave a slight apologetic one back, not wanting him to hate you after this. You reached for the donut handing the plate to Syd at the door way.

As she took a bite, you looked over to Marcus, who had his lips pressed into a fine line.

You both watched her, waiting for her reaction. She took a bite and chewed. After a few seconds, her eyebrows shot up, and she continued to feel the donut's texture between her two fingers, as she was eating it.

"Marcus, this is the shit." She looked up finally giving a big smile before giving him a playful punch in the arm.

The tension from Marcus shoulders melted away. He brought his hands up to his head and took a deep breath, a smile appeared on his face.

Marcus was still new to all of this and wanted to learn as much as possible. He didn't want to get too carried away though. From time to time he felt overwhelmed with all the guidance he would get from Carmy and Syd. He wouldn't know how to use that knowledge to make his recipes better. They were already so established in the flavors they liked. He was only starting to understand the basics.

"I have one recommendation, though." Syd sucked her lip in, still tasting the donut on her lips.

"Yeah, of course." Marcus looked at her eagerly, waiting for her response.

"The filling might be a little too sweet." She explained, dipping her fingertip in the red ooze that had spilled onto the plate and bringing it up to her mouth.

"Okay, that's fair" He agreed.

"Do you still have some of it left?" She asked

Marcus nodded looking at her.

"Here, let me show you something." She turns around heading to the kitchen with Marcus following her.

"Marcus!" You called him making him glance back at you.

"I think it was perfect" You grinned mocking a chefs kiss

"Heard" He chuckled, heading to the kitchen.

Before you know it, it's already Wednesday. You can tell that fatigue is catching. You wake up at 10:30am, sleeping through two of your alarms. You groaned out of bed still feeling like you need another six hours before it even makes a dent in your exhaustion. You unlock your phone to a text from Carmy.

Need to talk bills, let me know when you're in.

You check the time of the message. 6:30am

You get to the restaurant at noon and to say things were hectic, was an understatement. You popped your head into the kitchen to hear Carmy yelling orders more frantically than normal. No one saying a word. You noticed the line of tickets stacked up and thought maybe you would wait a bit for it to calm down.

You head to the office to see Richie on the chair scrolling on his phone.

"Mornin' sweetheart" He glanced up.

"What happened?" You asked taking your coat off.

"Sydney fucked up. That's what happenin'. Cousin blew his fuckin' head, told Syd to get the fuck out. Keep away if I was you" He got up and stretched.

"Gotta go back out now and fuckin' deal with this train wreck, fuck me." He groaned rubbing his face.

"Good luck with that," you grinned sitting down on the warmed up chair.

"Gonna need it." He mumbled, making his way back to the front.

You heard the door open and Carmy voice bellowed with anger before the door closed again and it was muffled.

Carmy stabbed the last ticket on the stack of paper and looked up at the clock. It was the fastest four hours that went by. The relief that overcame him knowing that they got through that catastrophe.

"Housekeeping chefs" He announced wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

"Yes Chef" They replied as the start to clean up the mess around them.

He made his way to the office to see you sitting there.

"Wha-"

"Don't ask" He stated in the doorway pushing back his hair with both hands.

"Okay" You said taken aback by the bluntness.

He watched you for a moment. You had various bills in front of you. All with the dooming "overdue" print on it.

It was moments like this that he wished he could just walk out. The feeling of drowning in anxiety was unbearable. He didn't have the energy to fight it. He thought about just shutting the place down. Just accept defeat. Try and move on, maybe walk away from cooking for a beat. He would leave Chicago and not tell anyone. Just get away from everything for a couple of months. If he was honest with himself, he didn't even know if that's what he needed. He's been neglecting his needs for so long he didn't know what he actually wanted from life anymore.

You looked up at him after minutes of silence. He wasn't present anymore. He was completely dissociated. You did say anything. You continued to look at the money flow, the account book you put together last week.

"Sorry, I was-" He rubbed his eyes, waking himself up from the negative thoughts.

"Just so fuckin' tired" He mumbled taking another couple of steps in.

You clicked your pen a couple of times thinking about how to phrase the news you had.

"So...What's up?" He asked bringing his full attention to you.

He felt your hesitation.

"That bad huh?" He breathed out.

You looked up to see his face was red and his eyes tired. His hair was wet with sweat.

"Y-Yeah, it is" you pressed your lips together.

You pointed the end of the pen to the electric bill.

"You only have enough money to cover electric bill or your produce order." You said straight out.

"Fffuck," He said quietly, looking down at the bill.

"When does the electric bill have to be paid?" He asked

"In 4 days"

Carmy head dropped, his eyes closed, and he took a deep breath. He wasn't even sure if this nightmare was real anymore. He didn't think anymore shit could get more fucked.

"Carmy"

He brought his eyes to you.

"Let me help," you started, knowing he wasn't going to like what was going to come out of your mouth.

"Let me cover this bill, just so-"

"No fuckin' way. No. " He raised his hand, stopping you in your tracks.

"Bu-"

"Stop, not happenin'." He snapped.

He glared into you, not wanting you to say another word about your ideas.

He couldn't even fathom the idea of you pumping your own money into the place. He's not even paying you. What type of owner would he be - or even a friend? It was bad enough that he had to sell his own sentimental belongings just to have meat to work with for the next day.

"I'll figure somethin' out," he stated.

He sat down at the bench between the lockers. He rested his arms on his thigh, bent over with his head in his hands. Today was.... he couldn't even think of a word. Every time he thinks this place can't go anywhere, it hits a different rock bottom. It's been in his possession for 3 weeks. It'll be closed in the next three if something doesn't change.

He felt a body sit beside him on the bench and gave a side eye. Richie sat next to him. Richie was the last person he needed to talk to right now. He couldn't deal with his bullshit.

Richie leaned over behind the locker and picked up a white envelope before sitting back on the bench. There was a beat of silence between them.

If there was ever a time where Richie felt would be the right moment to give Carmy this. It would be now. He looked over to see Carmy completely defeated and exhausted. Since arriving here, Carmy has put all his energy into this place, and it has fucked him every way possible.

Richie felt relief when Carmy arrived one morning on his doorstep. After the funeral, Richie had chaos released on him. Mikey's family asked when Carmy would come back to take over the restaurant. Sugar trying to contact both of them, to grasp any information on what was happening. Richie didn't know anything and now had to handle taking over the place with no idea what to do. To see Carmy in front of him, he had never been happier seeing him than that day.

Carmy looked over, his face change from fed up to anxious instantly, noticing what was in Richie's hand. Carmy recognized the writing and felt his heart pick up. The writing scrawled on the front with a black ink.

To Carmy,

From Mikey.

Carmy hesitantly took it off of him, not lifting his stare from it.

"What is this?" He asked concerned, looking at Richie.

Richie gestured his hands. He didn't know what to say.

"I don't know," he murmured.

Carmy eyes flickered between the envelope and Richie, not understanding what was happening.

"Richie, wh-what the fuck is this?" Carmy spoke up, grasping the envelope with a firmer grip.

"I don't know..." Richie shook his head gently.

"...And I didn't really want to give it to you 'cause.... it meant he was gone. Um, but, uh..." He broke off, feeling his stomach churn.

Carmy looked at him, feeling pain in his chest. He watched Richie, seeing the grief cascade over his face and realize he wasn't the only one going through this. Carmy placed his hand on Richie leg, Richie brought his arm to Carmy's back and for that moment, they both felt the devastation of Mikey presence finally gone. They sat there for a while before Richie got up, giving Carmy the space he needed.

It ran through Carmy's mind if he should even open the letter. Was it worth the wound that was going to be torn up with reading it. He didn't know if he was going to have the strength to continue today.

He needed to go elsewhere. No fucking way was he having the chance of anyone catching him in this sorry state. He made his way to a side alley next to the building. The cold air hitting his red hot skin making it feel like it was on fire. His heart was thumping. He got on his honkers and stared at it.

Maybe, he should wait til' he's home tonight?

Fuck it, he thought to himself.

He stared at it, in his shaky hands, before taking a deep inhale.

"Stupid" He whispered to himself not wanting to make a big deal out of this.

Even though this was going to be the last contact he was going to have with his brother. It was final. Mikey had the last say. After all the time of Carmy thinking Mikey left him nothing. Somehow, this felt worse because he knew for certain Mikey had this all planned. It made it more real than just hearing about it from people's mouths.

Carmy bit his lip, his feelings whelming up inside, finally it was hitting him.

He flipped it over and start ripping it open quickly.

There it was. Two small sentences in the center of the page.

I love you dude.

Let it rip

His eyes ran over the words again and again. Hearing Mikey voice in his head. Carmy choked back tears, bringing his hand up to his face, his eyes never leaving the words. The lump in his throat became unbearable. He felt his body start to tremble. The pain in his chest became stronger to the point that he held his breath to ease the strain.

After a moment, he took a breath in, feeling agony wash over him.

"Fuck you.. fuck you" He sniffled.

He knew it was going to hit him. It did. This scrap of paper made all the feelings he have been brewing since getting the phone call finally come up.

He took deep breaths and looked up. He focused on trying not to lose it completely. The wave of grief over swept him like he was drowning. The tightness in his chest constricting and releasing.

He flipped over the piece of paper and saw the family's spaghetti recipe wrote on the back. No instructions, just the ingredients. A small smile crept up on his face.

After a few minutes of steady breathing, he pulled himself together. He put the letter into the envelope and shoved it in his pocket.

He went back into the kitchen to see everyone prepping. He noticed Richie's eyes following him as he weaved through the station.

"You a'ight?" Richie whispered, coming up behind him.

Carmy nodded before reaching up for a 28oz can of tomato sauce.

"I'm.. gonna make spaghetti. I need to clear my head for a bit, " he mumbled, bringing it to the countertop.

"Uhh.. okay" Richie hesitated before giving a worried look to Tina.

She shrugged her shoulders making her way to the walk-in.

Carmy knew prep needed to get done but he just needed sometime to turn off his thoughts and get lost in cooking without thinking about it. He wanted his body to go into autopilot.

He added the garlic cloves to the pot and poured in an eye measurement of oil, clicking on the gas ring until a flame emitted on the surface. In another pan, he had half onions getting fried in butter. As they sizzled away, he leaned over to grab a can opener and opened one of the cans before dumping the contents with the onion.

He saw hints of green mixed with the tomatoes and shoved it around to see it was a lump of something. He grabbed it and wiped away the remaining sauce surrounding it.

"There's no fuckin' way" He said to himself tearing off the clear wrapping on the suspicious looking bundle of money. The hundred dollar number facing back at him, he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Cousin!" He urgently yelled not taking his eyes off the hundred dollar notes in his hand.

"Yo!"

"HELP" He shouted back coming to the realization of what might be happening.

You heard the racket from the office, hoping it wasn't another meltdown situation. As you entered the kitchen you saw everyone walk past your with cans and cans of tomatoes.

"Get you ass to work, Chica," Tina grinned.

"What?" You asked, completely confused about what was going on.

"Money." She beamed before continuing her way.

You went to where the cans where stored to see Richie stacking them on a metal tray.

"You're not gonna fuckin' believe this" He snickered.

That evening Carmy gave you the run down of what he thought Mikey did. He showed you the KBL on the lid of the unsuspicious can of tomato sauce. The hint that you were looking for was right into front of you the whole time. Everyone walked past those cans 50 times a day, not blinking an eye. Hidden in plain sight.

For the rest of the evening, everyone got plenty of practice on their can opening skills. Tomato sauce was everywhere. Everyone emptying the cans and pulling out bundles of money. Richie was tallying it up with his calculator. Syd came to join us, completely unaware of the jacket pot that landed on all of you during the day. Carmy spoke to her about what the money could do for them. For the restaurant, and with that, she was reeled it.

Everyone was at an all time high with the sudden change in events, Carmy decided that service wasn't happening for the rest of the day. He knew everyone needed one night of blowing off steam for, hopefully, the new chapter ahead that he had in his mind.

"How many should I get?" You asked dialing the number on the office phone.

"Uh... 10?" Carmy suggested, scratching back of his head.

You order several types of Chicago deep dish pizzas with excited muffled voices in the other room.

You hung up the phone after making the order and looked over at Carmy who was still standing there, dissociated or exhausted or maybe both.

"Well we finally got the hint" You smiled putting the phone back on the desk.

He snapped out of his trance.

"Oh yea, you could say that" He gave a little smile.

You could both hear the happy chatter over in the next room with Richie's booming voice echoing the most.

"My sister, Suga, is coming over."

"Oh that's great"

In the time you were working with Carmy, he would only really bring up Sugar. You knew Mikey existed but Sugar's name came up the most in conversation. You would also see him get phone calls from her time to time.

Richie went to collect the pizzas. You and Carmy joined everyone in the side room. Tina was chatting to Sydney, helping her lay out the long table. Marcus in the corner hooking up his phone with Richie small speaker. Everyone else was scattered around the room talking.

"Hey!" A blonde woman walked in with a big smile on her face.

Carmy instantly drew her into a hug. He leaned back glancing at me before looking back at her.

"This is Suga" He introduced me to her

She smiled over at me and opened her arms to me.

"Oh my god, it's great to finally meet you. Carmy has told me a lot about you over the years" Suga gave me a squeeze before pulling away.

"Really?" You said surprised, not even thinking he would bring you up to other people.

"Same here!" You grinned back.

"We gotta talk later about what the hell is going on" She side mouthed to Carmy before making her way to Tina who was already greeting her.

Richie finally came back with the pizzas and everyone started digging in. You found yourself stuck in a conversation with Richie and Fak

"I swear to fuckin' God it happened" Richie exclaimed telling the story on how Bill Murray is his voicemail.

"I've heard it and it's true" Fak reassuringly nodded at you.

You shook your head in disbelief, knowing it was going to rile up Richie.

"C'mon, you fuckin' believe me, ight?" Richie turned his head to you.

"Well, to be honest, I would have to hear it." You shrugged your shoulders, giving a quick cheeky smile to Fak.

"Fuck it, do you have your phone?"

Fak and I both shook our heads.

"Let me get my phone" Richie felt his pockets trying to place his.

"Hold up" He raised his hand before he walks off towards the kitchen on the mission to find his phone.

As your eyes followed Richie walk out, your sight landed on Carmy sitting at the table talking to Sugar about this evening. You notice his hand was in his hair as he listened to her.

You tell Fak that you're going to get something to drink, asking him if he wanted anything. He said he was good before getting distracted with a song that Marcus had just put on. He boogied his way to Marcus, reeling him in on a fake fishing line.

You made your way to grab a beer out of one of the ice buckets on the table.

"I see you." You hear a voice, and you look down to see Tina sitting at the table picking at her leftover crust.

"Huh?"

She smiled suspiciously before gesturing you to sit down across from her.

"So, how long have you've been..." She rolls her eye towards Carmy at the end of the table.

You glanced over to see him still occupied with Sugar.

"I have no i-"

"Naw, don't play dumb with me. I see the looks you give each other" She narrowed her eyes stilling grinning.

You finally caught on to what she was on about and immediately chuckled.

"Oh no, noth- we're just friends." You smiled, feeling caught off guard on what to say.

"Not in my eyes," she quipped back, taking a drink from her beer.

You looked over to Carmy, and caught him looking at you and immediately took his eyes away. You felt shy all of a sudden. You tried to think back to see if there were any times you and Carmy seemed to be closer to than friends, especially from people looking from the outside in. Nothing came to mind.

"I'm telling you Chica, I'm not judging. Just wonderin' how long has it been going on"

"Well we've never been... together that way" You felt embarrassed explaining to Tina.

She pulled back with her eyebrows raised

"You coulda fooled me" She remarked.

"Here! Here listen" Richie came over shoving his phone in your hand.

You brought the phone up to your ear and on the other end was the voice of Bill Murray.

"Damn," you said to yourself, seeing Richie grin become bigger.

"Fuckin' told you"

You were impressed that you could actually hear Bill Murray and realized that Richie wasn't lying. It's not that you didn't believe him, but maybe didn't take everything he said to heart.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and looked over to see Carmy behind you.

"Wanna talk to you in the office, for a min" He said with a serious tone.

You nodded handing the phone back to Richie. You got up and felt Tina eyes not leaving you until you walked out of the room.

For some reason, your stomach did a flip. What was this about. This is the most relaxed the place has been since you've arrived here. But you could tell Carmy was far from relaxed.

He sat in the chair in the office before leaning over to pull out a foldable chair for you to sit on. As you sat down, you noticed his leg jittering. His inked fingers were tapping on the desk like he was thinking about something.

"Uh.. So I was talkin' to Suga and explainin' everything that happened with the tomato cans and money." He started looking at you.

"She saw all the paper you helped filed and I told her about all the late nights you've been here. Non stop..." He further explained.

As he went on, tension was in the air. You had no idea what he was going on about but him talking more and more made you nervous.

"Carmy" You stated trying to get him to the point.

"Uh.. sorry- fuck" He pushed his hair back and looked down.

"You've been a massive fuckin' help to us. This is crazy to even bring up, so don't worry if you don't wanna..." He continued to ramble.

"I wanna offer you a position here," He finally said.

"What?" You stunned by what just came out of his mouth.

"I wanna offer you a job. I've talked to everyone, and they would love to have you here. It makes sense. You're already caught up on the financial situation, and I trust you."

"Move to Chicago?" You looked down, picking your fingers nervously.

"Uh, y-yeah. I know it's a big ask. I know I still have to pay you for the two weeks, too. But everyone would hate to see you go and-"

"Everyone?" You sputtered out, only realizing after, you said it out loud.

You looked up into his eyes. His blue stare gazing back to you.

"... I w-would, " He stuttered, breaking a small smile.

You felt your heart skip. The thought of moving to Chicago made your stomach flutter. The idea of coming to this place every week made you smile. But most importantly, seeing Carmy daily gave you a weird comfort.

"I have big plans for this place. I would only want people by my side that I know I can count on. One of them is you." He tapped his fingers on the desk lightly.

Your mind went to all the things you would have to start organizing. Your old apartment, moving furniture, driving back to Chicago. It was a lot, especially by yourself.

"I don't know how long-"

"Don't worry, there's no rush. Take the time you need to move here." He scrambled, feeling he was asking a lot from you.

There was a moment of silence between you both. He could tell you were overwhelmed.

"I wanna help you move..." He spoke up, seeing the unexpected look on your face.

".. if only you want," he added not wanting to be too forward.

"Are you sure?" You pressed your lips into fine line.

"Yea, yeah, with both of us, it would be faster. Plus, everyone here could start breaking this place down. " He motioned to his surroundings.

"Look, I'm not asking for an answer now. But, think about it ?" He leaned closer.

You nodded, looking back at him.

Carmy wanted you to say yes. He didn't want to say goodbye. Over the last few weeks, he's gotten used to seeing you. Him going to you moments when he felt everything was falling apart. The rising anxiety he felt imagining you flying off at the end of the week. Him not seeing you come in with coffee for him in the morning. Him making you a quick bite, knowing you would have forgotten to eat all day. In this short period of time, he fell into a routine with you.

The only thing giving him peace was that this place was going to be hectic when it came to renovation that he'll hopefully be too busy to notice you were gone.

"Marcus made us cake! Get some before it's all gone with Richie fat ass. " Tina smirked, leaning into the doorway.

"Go ahead, ill be out in a min" Carmy ushered you away with him staying behind.

"Lovebirds," She muttered, wagging her eyebrows mockingly.

You rolled your eyes, giving her light shove.

Everyone dug into the moist, delicious, double layered chocolate cake. They uttered compliments to Marcus as they took their first bites. It was the perfect thing to end the crazy day. Carmy finally joined you all and picked up a piece of cake that Sydney was guarding against Fak, who wanted seconds.

You both kept separate sides of the room but felt each other's stares. Whatever was growing between each other, you're both hoping it was a wave that would fade away. Just the novelty after not seeing each other for so long. Or maybe the fact that you might not see each other again.

You wanted to think about this straight. It would be easy to get caught up in the fantasy of starting a new life here. You had to think things through, talk to your parents. You knew they were going to question you when it came to your incentives to moving to Chicago. You were apprehensive bringing up Carmy, knowing them hearing a boy's name will ring alarm bells. Did you really want to move to Chicago? Do you really want to commit to a restaurant that doesn't even exist yet? Were you putting yourself through all this trouble just to please a close friend of yours?

These were all questions that were causing you anxiety. You pushed those thoughts out of your head wanting to enjoy one fun night with these group of people that you've become so close with.

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" Richie shouted raising the bottle of Tequila entering the room.

"Here's to a new fuckin' start Cousin!" Richie yelled wrapping his arm around Carmy shoulder pulling him in closer to him.

Carmy grinned, for once giving in to Richie hyper emotions and wrapped his arm around him. His eyes travelled across the room and landed on you. He gestured for you to come over. Richie was pouring shots for everyone. Even if you didn't want one, it didn't seem to be an option.

"I just wanna say.. that I know the last month has been hell" Carmy spoke up bringing the attention to him.

"But, this is the beginning of something bigger than all of us and I know we'll be able to pull it off..." He glanced to everyone holding his cup of tequila.

"So let's make this place something we're proud of...." He paused bringing his cup up.

"and let it rip" He announced

Everyone brought their cups together before downing the tequila.

Chapter 4

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