#like yeah that's a woman who knows how to play every keyboard and make her own estrogen and create a new software system in her spare time
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i love all of @gin-juice-tonic's trans stan twins comics and i've centered all my gf beliefs around them, but i can't stop thinking about how funny it would be for stan to be a trans man and ford to be a trans woman.
imagine you're stan and you've been disowned for about ten years and haven't seen your family at all since, and during that time you've found and lost yourself more times than you can count, but you've finally settled on the fact that you're a man and it's time for you to transition. and then as soon as can finally start testosterone, your twin brother wants to see you ASAP.
and so you're stressed out the entire way there, not just because your brother seems to have gotten into some trouble, but because you have no clue how he's gonna react to you now being his brother.
only for him to not even notice or say a single thing about your new wardrobe that still has some of the tags from when you shoplifted it or about the scruff on your chin that you've been pretty proud of.
no, instead he's going on about the fbi and people who want to steal his skin or something.
and so everything happens the same way, and stan has essentially gotten the life he's always wanted: everyone thinks he's his genius brother, he's still in contact with his family (though stanford didn't exactly call home everyday so neither does he), and he's a man â and not one person doubts it. except he's not the man he's always wanted to be because he doesn't have his brother beside him throughout it all, becoming a man with him.
and then stanford comes back and is impossibly autistic and bitter so he just assumes stan went through the process of transition (assuming he used some gender changing potion he found noted about in the journal) just to further steal ford's identity.
and stan explains, no, you fucking idiot, i've been a man for thirty-something odd years and you just didn't notice because you were too busy being insane. and so yeah, that's how stan's whole coming out goes.
and ford just responds with, "oh. yeah, me too. she/they is fine."
#i feel like ford fits pretty well into the nerdy trans fem stereotype#like yeah that's a woman who knows how to play every keyboard and make her own estrogen and create a new software system in her spare time#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#trans stanley pines#trans stanford pines#stan twins#original mystery twins#gf headcanons#aloeverants
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blind.
dan heng x fem!reader
part two.
â˝ inspired by satoru gojo! what if the reader had a special ability with her eyes and often wore a blindfold?
â˝ reader is a flirt!
you were one of elios' favorite workers. just like kafka, you had a drastic amount of bounty on your headâdead or alive, but when it came to hunting you down... nobody really knew your description. nobody knew your appearance. they didn't even know if you wore a blindfold. were you a man? a woman? what was your gender identity? what was your height, weight, the color of your eyes? your hair?
yeah, you were anonymous. that was one of your nicknames when it came to the others.
compared to everyone else, those who hunted down the stellaron hunters knew what they looked like. everyone knew the name "kafka", which sent shivers down their spine every time they had mentioned this notorious villain in their worlds... but yours was quite similar to 'anonymous'.
kafka often joked and teased with you that your name was mysterious, and silver wolf had already began to make a jrpg video game with some inspiration from your name. blade didn't care for your nameâbut he was always pondering and suspicious about the blindfold that covered your eyes. they had seen your eyes a few times, but never once did you ever use them in battle.
your name... was anonymous... anonymous. anonymous. you were truly anonymous, and nobody but your allies knew what you truly looked like.
you worked in the shadows, taking the lives of many to succeed in your mission. but now was different â for whatever reason, elios decided to have you infiltrate the astral express.
it sounded almost impossible considering the security measures that were implanted in the system, along with herta's intellectual mindset when it came to technology... but now, you had silver wolf's help, who practically could hack into the universe and mess with its files of reality... digitally.
there were some files in dan heng's archive that you needed to retrieve... some of it was classified information, which was oddly peculiar. of course, elios wanted it. so, he trusted youâone of the finest stellaron huntersâto retrieve it. kafka was originally supposed to take this mission, but elios had her do something else. something that was also top-priority.
silver wolf did a few things, and you were on your own for the rest. as you entered the express, you were silent. your footsteps were inaudible, as though you were walking on air. you were fully aware of your surroundings despite the blindfold. your world was covered in darkness, but you could still see in a way.
you knew where the couches were at. where himeko left her coffee mug. you knew where the hallways were atâyour senses were just this good.
upon entering the corridor that connected to several rooms, you stop in front of dan heng's room. placing a hand against the door, you could feel the vibrations of the softest of movements from the other side. dan heng was asleep on the floor... you could feel march rolling around on her bed asleep, assuming the room next to dan heng's belonged to her.
then came the next step... entering the room, which you did swiftly, silently and remaining undetected.
you enter the room, embraced by the sight of his large window which displayed the starry night sky of the galaxy. the speakers that softly played soft lofi music, and the books that were resting together on the large bookshelves in the room... and there, in the corner of your eye... well, not really your eye, but you sensed dan heng was asleep.
you discreetly move towards his computer, moving your hand towards the keyboard...
... what was the password? now you'd have to ask silver wolf to hack into his computer. that was whenâ
"don't move."
you felt the tip of dan heng's signature weapon pierce through the air, aiming at the back of your neck. you froze, unsure how dan heng had noticed you when you came in here undetected... what was going on? but you had a sly smirk on your face, feeling, sensing dan heng was behind you, observing you.
despite the blindfold, you could "see" everything.
"oh, my." you cooed, lifting both of your hands. "you caught me. i'm impressed."
you turn your head to the side, and dan heng was met with suspicion. could you see with that blindfold on? who are you? and how did you get in his room? or even... how did you get into the astral express without setting off the security system?
"state your name. your business. who are you?"
you hear him firmly grasping the spear, his grip tightening.
"oh my..." you whisper softly. "you're asking too many questions, dan heng."
he blinkedâhow did you know his name?
"i wish i can really tell you, but... i get a little too shy on the first date."
immediately, you turn and knock the spear out of dan heng's hand. you were incredibly faster than him, even catching him off guard as you threw him against the floor, pinning him against the ground. he breathed, his eyes gazing up against the fabric that covered your oculars. slowly, you pull down the blindfold, revealing your beautiful e/c eyes.
"there's a reason why i wear this." you say in a soft, seductive whisper, running your finger down from dan heng's lips and towards his chest. "my eyes... are fused with a stellaron. i wear a blindfold so it doesn't make my eyes dry and irritable, you know?"
dan heng was unable to do anything. truthfully, he was enchanted by your beauty, but he was also still in the process of trying to get out of this life or death situation.
but... really, he was stuck underneath you as you pinned him down.
"i can see what's inside of you. read your soul, see things that many people can't normally see... but for the first time, you see me. hell, you even detected me. so i think i'll reward you. what do you think?"
"ghâ" dan heng grunted, before trying to make his escape... unfortunately you had stopped him, forcing him down with the immense strength you had. he couldn't win against you.
"shh, pretty boy. behave for me for a second." your eyes scan him, before you leaned down... boldly pressing your lips against dan heng. oh, he was cute. you had to steal a kiss.
he blinked, frozen in shock as he totally did not expect this. he moved his head around a bit, trying to maneuver away from your lips. but you forced him down even more, allowing your tongue to explore into his mouth. you could feel dan heng growing more incited, feeling as he was slowly giving up against your lips... and the moment you pulled away, a string of saliva was connected between the both of your lips. dan heng was breathing heavily, and was red.
"wh... what are you doing... what.. who are you? what do you want?"
licking your lips, you stand up from the heated mess of an introvert as you walked towards the computer. typing in the password, you placed a usb flash drive into the side of the computer, downloading every bit of information into the device.
"you taste good. are you single? i think you are."
dan heng was completely out of it, his mind spinning as he laid on the ground helpless. he even watched you download all the information from his computer of his database into your usb flash drive, before it was settled into your pocket.
"thanks for the information. my eyes see everything, you know."
as you make your way towards the door, you heard dan heng scramble up to his feet with a clumsy, "w-wait!"
you stop, turned to him and looked at him with your innocent, strange... stellaron eyes.
"what is it, dan-dan?" a new given nickname.
"... what's... what's your name?"
your head tilts to the side innocently as you step closer, knowing your lips carried somewhat of a toxin that could render anyone emotionally distraught or weak... or to even lust after you. however, you were interested in dan heng.
"... i'll tell you if you take me out for a date." you leaned in, giving your new little crush a kiss on his lips before disappearing into the night.
you were gone, but a piece of paper was slowly falling from the air, and it was caught by dan heng... it read,
here's my number! âĄď¸ i think youre cute ăž(ÂŻâ ̄ŕš)
xxx-xxx-xxxx
text me whenever. âŹ
i turned it into a series! check the parts above!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr x reader#dan heng#hsr dan heng#honkai star rail dan heng#dan heng x reader
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Casting Couch
Picture lightly edited by me.
Pairing: Josh Washington x Fem!Reader Description: You get a chance to play the lead role in the most famous and successful Hollywood producer'sâJosh Washington'sânew film. And it seems like you got the part! But there is only one thing left for you to doâa sweet deal that's just too perfect for you to refuseâŚÂ Warnings: Movie Producer X Actress, Strip Tease, BlowJob (Male Receiving), Female Riding Male, P In V, Creampie. Word Count: 2.6k A/N: FINALLY I'm going to repost this! I don't know why it has taken me so long to, but I hope my new followers enjoy it just as much as my other ones did on my other account. Just to warn you all, this is lightly reedited. So it's not quite like my new writing style but not like my old one either. I hope you enjoy it regardless! đ¤ Main MasterList: đ¤ Synny's Angels: @koexchange, @yesitsloulou, @mistmoose, @jasonexo, @fortune-fool02, and @raven-the-cryptid. (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments! đ¤)
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"I'm here to see Mr. Washington." I said confidently to the middle-aged woman sitting at her desk before me.
The lady merely glanced up at me and then continued to type on her keyboard at a speed that showed me just how long she had been working as a secretary while saying, "Mr. Washington will be ready for you in a moment, dear. Please, take a seat." before gesturing to the chairs in the spacious waiting room. Though her body language seemed cold, her tone was sweet and kind. I knew that she was just busy; after all, she did work for one of the biggest film producers in Hollywood, so it was understandable.
Speaking of, it was a huge opportunity to meet up with Mr. Washington for a role. I had already done my audition, but Mr. Washington had requested that I meet him in his office for a more personal review. Despite meeting one of the most successful men in the film industry at the time, I didn't feel nervous. I was more excited and ready for anything. And I had every right to be. It was just one of those days where everything felt rightâmy hair was perfectly done, my dress hugged my form just the right way, my make-up was on fucking point; I felt like I was on fucking fire.
After a few minutes of reading some useless magazine about 'Top 10 Beauty Tips for Women Trying to Find a Man.', the secretary, who I had learned was named Betty, granted me permission to enter Mr. Washington's office.
I nodded my head as I stood up before saying a quick thank you and entering the room where Mr. Washington sat behind his desk. I looked around the big office and noted just how much it looked like a horror movie producer's office in particular. The walls were painted black with framed posters of all the movies he had done hung upon them, the carpet floors were blood red, and the furniture within it seemed more of a Gothic style than the usual furniture producers would keep. He was casually reading over some paperwork until he noticed my arrival just a few seconds later.
"Ah, Ms. (L/N)! It's a pleasure to finally meet you!" He greeted me as he stood up while gesturing to the seat in front of him. "Please sit down. We have so much to discuss."
I walked over to the offered seat and sat down, crossing my legs afterwards and resting my arms on the armrests of the quite comfy chair. Mr. Washington was definitely more attractive in person, especially in that all-black suit he had on. The man sat back down in his seat and smiled seductively, all while his eyes roamed my form for a brief moment. I could see the wheels turning in his brain as he undressed me with his orbs and it was quite a turn-on, especially with how his pupils dilated his light green iris' the more his eyes stayed on my body.
"So, you liked my audition tape?" I asked nonchalantly, knocking him from his brief fantasy and bringing him back to reality.
"Uh- Yeah! You are quite a talented young woman." He responded in a sort of dazed tone, as if he were slowly coming back from being unconscious.
"Thank you, Sir." I said with a smile.
That title I gave him seemed to do a lot for him, as he visibly shuddered after the word left my lips. He swallowed thickly and adjusted his tie, as if he were trying to fight his urges. But I had a feeling that that battle would soon be lost.
"U-Um... However, there is an additional requirement you'll have to proceed with if you want this part badly enough." He added, and I titled my head to the side slightly, causing my hair to flip over my shoulder and flow down my arm gracefully as I raised a questioning brow. He cleared his throat while adjusting his tie yet again, making me smirk slightly at the effect I was having on him. "The thing is, ladies who work for me not only have to show me how well they do on set, but behind the set as well."
After speaking his last sentence, Mr. Washington gestured to a black leather couch that was placed against the left wall of the office. It didn't take long to know what he meant, and I was more than willing to show him just how badly I wanted this part.
"Well, Mr. Washington, what are we waiting for?" I asked in a low and seductive tone as my lips curled up into a devilish smirk. My tongue cut through their seam to glide across them slowly, wetting them in a rather suggestive manner.
Mr. Washington's sexy smile only grew wider, since he clearly knew he was getting exactly what he wanted. He stood from his chair and walked over to where I was seated before he offered me his hand, which I gladly took without hesitation.
He helped me stand, guided me to the couch, and then sat down on it, resting his arms on the headrest. I smiled down at him sweetlyâinstantly getting the hint of what he was suggestingâbefore I kneeled down onto my knees.
Though the extra-soft carpet was so nice against my bare knees, I could barely take time to appreciate it as I stared down at the growing bulge in Mr. Washington's pants with awe. Clearly, he was just as excited about this as I wasâmaybe even more.
I licked my lips hungrily and began undoing his belt. No longer than a couple seconds later, I was unzipping his expensive dress pants and pulling out his erect member to meet the cool air of the room. I held his length in my hand, admiring the girth of it as I bit my lip to stifle my smirk. It wasn't until I heard the agitated clearing of Mr. Washington's throat that I got snapped out of my little wanton of fantasies and appreciation.
"Are you just going to hold it like it's a trophy?" I looked up upon hearing his words to see him staring down at me with a raised brow. "Trust me, honey, you'll have plenty of those to man-handle once I reward you for your services. Now, get to work."
Immediately after he gave me his order, I began moving my hand up and down his shaft, tightening my fingers around its width, and pumping it slowly before taking the tip into my mouth.
He let out a strained moan at the contact of my lips wrapping around his tip, and I could see him fighting to keep himself from moving one of his hands down onto my head to force me to go deeper. But being a good little servant, I took the hint and lowered myself on his cock. I opened my throat as I took him deeper into my mouth, consuming each thick inch and practically having to fight back a moan due to the delicious taste of his flesh.
It didn't take long for the salty taste of his pre-cum to meet my palette and satisfy my taste buds, earning a deep groan from me to vibrate against his cock. He clenched his eyes shut and threw an arm over them as his mouth hung open, while his voice was producing the most beautiful sounds that had ever greeted my ears.
I tightened my lips around his length and began sucking as hard as I possibly could. I bobbed my head up and down slowly, though I quickly made sure to pick up speed each time his member reentered my mouth. Since I wanted this experience for him to be the best it could be, I let one of my hands move to his balls and grip them firmly. His voice grew louder due to my actions, and I took it as meaning that I was doing a good job. Now massaging his balls in my hand, I wiggled my tongue against his dorsal vein as I decided to work even faster.
But just as I had started to increase my speed even more, Mr. Washington's fingers clenched into a fist, gripping my hair firmly in his grasp. He pulled my head away from his cock, forcing his length out of my mouth with a wet pop.
"I-I think that's enough." He whispered breathlessly, and I cocked my head with confusion. It wasn't until he patted his lap that I understood what he wanted. I stood up, quickly obeying his orders with a lot of excitement for what was to come next.
After standing to my full height, I turned around so my back was facing him. Then I reached behind me to clasp the metal zipperâthe one that was holding my dress closedâin my fingers before slowly pulling it down. I let the straps fall off my shoulders, and the only thing hiding my partial nude form fell to the floor, leaving me in my black lace bra and panties.
Mr. Washington's eyes roamed my form slowly, growing more hungry with every passing second, making it clear that I was his next meal to devour. I approached him, taking slow steps as I did so. I wanted to drag this out for as long as I possibly could. Smirking at him, I hooked my fingers under the waistband of my panties and pushed them down my legs as well. Mr. Washington's eyes never left my hands as one went to my core to let a finger brush through my folds, showing him just how wet I was for him.
I brought that finger up to my lips and sucked it into my mouth, letting my eyes flutter shut and moaning a little over dramatically as the salty taste hit my tongue. After I was done with my little performance, my eyes opened again to see that Mr. Washington's eyes had widened with what seemed like crazed lust and want. Smirking smugly due to the effect I still had on him, I climbed onto his lap to allow him to line his tip up with my dripping hole.
I slowly sank down onto his length, letting my heat consume each thick inch. I bit my lip hard as I tried to stifle all the crude noises that my body was dying to release. But to my surprise, Mr. Washington grabbed my face with one hand, squishing my cheeks and forcing my mouth open.
"Don't hold back those beautiful noises." He growled his demand and I visibly shuddered, letting out a shaky breath as I did so.
I stayed still for only a moment, allowing myself to adjust to his large size. But once that stinging shock melted into delightful pleasure, I lifted myself back up and sank back down in a swift motion. The feeling of his size stretching me out was arousing enough, but that look on his face was something else. It lit a fire within me in an instant and only sent me further into a downward spiral of pure ecstasy.
His eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth had fallen agape, his cheeks were a nice tint of red, his slicked back hair slowly became disheveled, and a thin coat of sweat glossed his tanned skin. It was quite a sight to behold, and I felt so lucky that I was the one who was lucky enough to witness it.
I leaned forward and kissed his neck, attacking all the spots that I knew were his weak spots. Though I just couldn't hold back for long, I sank my teeth in, right by his collarbone. To my pleasant surprise, Mr. Washington let out a loud gasp in shock as his hands flew to my back so he could dig his nails into my soft flesh.
"My, my, Mr. Washington." I leaned back to smirk at him. "I didn't take you as the sensitive type."
He responded with a low growl as his eyes burrowed into mine intensely with hunger and need. He clenched his teeth so tight, as if he were fighting back words of frustrationâthough his eyes said it all. And soon after, he couldn't refrain from letting his lips do so as well.
"Just... Do... Your... Fucking... Job..." He rasped between ragged breaths, and I instantly nodded as my cocky smirk grew.
I rolled my hips in just the right way, not only making the moment more enjoyable for him but for me as well. I tossed my head back as I let out a loud moan, suddenly not caring who heard meâsuddenly not caring who heard how I'm his little slut.
Taking the hint, Mr. Washington's thumb flew to my clit, pressing down hard and rubbing the swollen little bead in quick circles. I almost couldn't take it. I wanted to hold on for as long as I could so he could be satisfied first, so I clenched my teeth together tightly and tried to ignore the burning pleasure within my core the best I could.
But then Mr. Washington caught on rather quickly. He leaned in until his lips just grazed my ear, letting his breath fan its shell ever so gently.
"Cum for me." He spoke in a low, deep growl.
Merely a second later, I let go. Between his deep voice in my ear and his cock twitching against my g-spot, I fell into the void of blinding pleasure as I screamed through my climax. His words, his voice, his touch, his scentâit let off an explosion within me quicker than gasoline hitting a match. Shortly after my orgasm, Mr. Washington came too. I was blessed with the sight of him coming undone before me, and the only thing that went through my mind was, 'I did thatâI've ruined this big, powerful man.'
Nothing had ever felt so empowering.
I rested my head on Mr. Washington's shoulder as we both slowly came down from our highs. The feeling of his hand gently rubbing my back in slow, smooth circles was a nice contrast to the rough fucking we just had and helped me to come back down to my senses and reality.
After a few minutes of sitting in complete silence, I leaned back to smile down at him. He returned my smile and brought his hand up to gently caress my cheek. I responded by leaning into his touch as my eyes fluttered shut again in contentment. I felt so at peace at that moment, as if nothing else mattered.
He kissed me on the lips one last timeâsweetlyâcompared to the careless ones he had given me prior, as if I didn't even matter to him. But I knew differently then, like I do now. I slowly pulled myself off of him, earning more moans due to the oversensitivity both of us were experiencing in our post-orgasmic state.
After dressing myself while Mr. Washington stayed on the couch, I readjusted my dress and slowly walked to the door of the office. But when I placed my hand on the door handle, I turned around one last time to see Mr. Washington looking at me with a loving smile on his lipsâa loving smile that I returned.
"See you at home around eight, hun?" He asked as he slowly sat up and began buttoning up his shirt.
"I'll have dinner ready on the table, sweetheart." I confirmed before blowing my husband a kiss, which he caught, then I turned my heel and walked out the door.
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#until dawn#until dawn josh#josh washington#josh washington x reader#josh washington smut#SynnamonsSpicyFics#Repost
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I watched all Frankie Biggs videos and he is a red flag for me.
He has stated clearly that he is NOT an Army, just a reactor. So yeah. He chose the biggest global group that has a fan base known for views. Makes sense.
He started with WHO by Jimin and wasn't impressed at all. He said it wasn't a hit. Cool. Thanks for stopping by. Keep it moving.
Next thing you know he has a Once You JimIN you can't JimOut tshirt on!!!????
He invested in that why?? It's sus. Reactors I know don't just run out and get a Jimin shirt like that, especially when they are not floored by Jimin's talent/music. Frankie is hitting Army hard with that "pick me" merch - it feels super manipulative and not genuine at all.
For AYS the guy said some totally random stuff like he heard that JK is married to a woman - like serious real housewives gossip type stuff that is not cool with Army at all. I haven't seen any reactor show up on the scene with rumors but supposedly no knowledge of the group.
Something isn't adding up.
He hates shippers and solos - okay cool - there are other channels that love everyone that supports BTS. I can watch those. Not every reactor gets my views.
Chapter 2 had been all about Solo albums so yes, solos are going to exist. They may have only heard Golden or Face because they got radio play. So there will be naturally born solos in Chapter 2. Old Army need to adapt and realize this is by design. Solos are not the bad guys. Trolls come in every flavor OT7 SHIPPER SOLO - any of them can be rude when hiding behind a keyboard.
Did he deserve death threats - no but that doesn't mean he deserves sympathy views either.
I support a lot of reactors on youtube. But I can't support this guy. He is making it all about himself and I am just not down for his victimization angle.
Also he said Who is mid. I can't support someone that can't see Who is a masterpiece. Our ace duo deserve reactors that can appreciate them from Day 1 and not add to the rumors already surrounding them.
Iâm just going to go at this like a bullet point list.
⢠Itâs obvious heâs not army, seeing as he just started reacting to them. Expecting him to be all in already is kind of silly.
⢠People arenât obligated to enjoy every song the members put out. I donât like everything, but I still consider myself a fan, because I enjoy a solid amount and adore them as people.
⢠Donât know the story behind this, nor how many reactions he did before getting one, so I wonât say anything about it.
⢠Like I said, I donât know his motives. If his wife is Army, maybe she got it for him? As Iâm not sure where heâd find one outside of her, if he got it as quickly as your message implies.
⢠I was told his wife told him this, but I didnât see whatever video that is in. I havenât watch all his videos, so idk. That said, if itâs not his wife and I am being led astray⌠I donât think him having heard this rumor without knowing anything about the group is that crazy. I see and hear rumors about celebs all the time whom I donât follow nor listen to. The rumor mill is the rumor mill, it doesnât prove of disprove much. However, he did have a handful of reactions to the members/group up before AYS, so itâs possible someone in the comments said something. Or his YouTube algorithm started showing him those clickbait titled videos. I donât watch the people who make them, yet I still get their stuff recommended to me.
As for the rest of your message, cool beans. No one is forcing you to watch the guy, lol. I simply do not think he comes across as a grifter just yet, but thatâs me. If Iâm wrong then Iâm wrong. Itâs not the end of the world if someone joined the community just to gain traction to their channel. It sucks that BTS get used, but so do so many other artists and shows and etc. If heâs a fraud, Iâll stop watching him the same way Iâve done with many reactors.
In regard to your opinion on solos, I think youâre treading real close to admitting you are one, lol. I donât like solos and I donât care for their excuses. Obviously there will be people who only know one or two members these days, but each member is different enough with their sound and execution of craft, that I canât take anyone seriously who thinks one member stands out above the group.
All of BTS are extremely talented, and their group music may not be for everyone, but trying to claim you like JK more than everyone else, for example, is just a way to be contrarian. Particularly because he and JM make music that is currently the most similar to the group sound. The only reason someone would get into one member, try BTS, then flat out refuse to listen to the group is because they fell into a toxic solo rabbit hole. No one who genuinely happened across one member, yet never listened to the group, would call themselves a solo, purely because they wouldnât know what that means.
So again, donât watch what you donât want to watch. Donât listen to whomever you donât want to listen to, but solos can kick rocks right along with fake reactors. Being Army means actively enjoying BTS. Not without critique, but a minority enjoy more of their work. If you donât enjoy them or if you only enjoy one member, youâre not Army. Therefore, there is no need for you (using the universal term) to be part of Army conversations.
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skateboard stickers and a bright red guitar strap
@winterfireice i was your secret santa, i hope you enjoy this! @song-tam
summary: biana is just a barista at the coffee shop with the worldâs most pride flags. sophie is the college kid who seems to only ever host his sessions at this shop. marella is the band member whose band seems to play only at this shop. but that canât mean anything, right?
There is no reason why a sweaty college student with blond hair tied up into a failing ponytail should turn Biana fifty different shades of red. Sophie Foster doesnât seem to think so, with her fingerless leather gloves and elbow pads.Â
Honestly, who gave him the right to look so good? Was their goal to make Biana re-realize how gay ae is every time ae sees her? It sure as hell seems like. Sophieâs got his skateboard in his left hand, looking around before finding Tam in a chair and practically bouncing over to him. He throws her skateboard down next to Tam, where it lands upside down, showing off the five d20âs stickers and three pride flags plastered on it.
She tries for a side hug that Tam pushes off with a small smile. He throws her skateboard on the chair next to Tam, then does her adorable bouncing walk over to Biana at the cash register.Â
Shit. Ae did not have enough time to prepare for an actual interaction with the girl who can pull of sweaty skater punk. Sophie smiles, his eyes crinkling with it.Â
God, she smiles like the fucking sun, ae canât stop aerself from thinking.
âHey Biana! Howâs it going?â Itâs okay, Biana can do this. Ae can control aer hopeless woman loving for one moment and talk to Sophie.
âPretty good, how about you?âÂ
âSame here.â Another smile. Biana can do this. Aeâs not that useless of a lesbian.Â
âWhat can I get for you, and donât chose something I donât want to make or Iâll convince Fitz to join your DnD group,â Biana laughs. Sophie narrows her eyes in a playful glare.
âYou wouldnât.â
âI would.â
âUnbelievable.â A beat of silence then a soft laugh Biana could get drunk on. Ae might just be able to if the way aeâs just a bit weak in the knees. âCan I get two large iced mochas with three shots of espresso?â
âAre you getting one for Mister-Black-Coffee or are you getting two coffees for yourself again?â Sophie smiles sheepishly.
âNow, why would you ever think that, Biana?â
âOh I would never be able to give you a reason for that, Soph.â Sophie smiles. Biana turns away to make the coffees, wishing it was easier to keep aer brain to focus on working the espresso machine. Last time ae wasnât focused ae burned aer hand.Â
Somehow, with a beautiful girl watching aer, Biana makes the coffees without burning aer hand again. Ae doesnât know how ae did it, but ae did. Biana might just be magical.Â
âYouâre great, Biana, a saint if I could say so. Which I can, and will.â Sophieâs smile could make the most emotionally stony person melt, and Bianaâs not even close to stone.Â
âYeah, yeah, whatever you say.âÂ
.
As if one persistent crush of a friend wasnât enough, Marella Redek refuses to give Bianaâs heart a goddamn break. If thereâs one thing that hits Biana harder than a girl with a skateboard, itâs a girl with a guitar.
And Marellaâs got a guitar in her hands, the bright red shoulder strap catching some of cer gold streaked hair beneath it. Biana wants to wall over and free the strands, and maybe just brush aer fingers against Marellaâs neck just to see whatâll happen.Â
Ae busies aerself cleaning the counter, letting that idea be scrubbed out by the smell of bleach mixed with water.Â
Marellaâs band sets up for the nighttime show, the coffee shop practically empty before the flood of people Biana knows will come to watch them play.Â
âWait, where the hell is Keefe?â Stina says suddenly, stopping her messing with her keyboard. Linh looks up with a deceivingly innocent smile and Biana knows the answer long before Linh says a word.Â
âWith my brother, catching a ride.â
Maruca snorts. âOh yeah? Did Tam get a skateboard big enough for the two of them?âÂ
âUnless he went to the store in the last hour, no, he didnât.âÂ
Marella laughs and catches Bianaâs eye from across the room, cer eyes reading Can you believe those two? plainly. Biana rolls her eyes and mouths a Nope, the shape of the word tarnished by the smile on her lips. But Marella seems to know the word well enough to smile a smile Biana swears contains the whole sun.Â
Biana looks away before ce can see aer blush. The bell on the door dings and a yell of
âTook you long enough, Heslege!â
from Stina lets Biana know Keefeâs finally here, Tam most likely following in suit, ready for the shift he practically begged Jensi to let him trade. Jensi had smirked with all the smugness of a mob boss and said
âWe can definitely trade shifts, Tam.â
Tam rushes to Biana near the counter, pointedly ignoring Keefe lean dramatically against Stina for a small jab from Marella. His cheeks are red, from the skateboard tucked under his arm or the blond warming up a few feet away, Biana canât tell.
âHey Loverboy, how was the ride over?â Biana asks quietly. Tam punches aer arm.
âShut up.â
âOh, that good?â
Tam glares at aer, to which Biana smiles sweetly. Tam eventually sighs and leans over to Biana.
âHe caught me when I fell, Biana. In his arms. And he held me there for a second. I swear to god I almost fucking died.â
âGod, Tam, itâs like youâre in a rom com. Next thing you know heâll be dedicating his newest love song to you.âÂ
Tam rolls his eyes. âThatâll happen when pigs fly.â
âI can make that happen,â a new voice buts in. One with a smirk on cer lips and laughter in cer eyes. âLittle glue and a crane or wires, I can make a pig fly.â
Both Biana and Tam turn red at Marellaâs light voice, though for very different reasons. Biana laughs along, hoping Marella doesnât notice the tint in aer cheeks.Â
âBit hot here, Biana?â Tam asks. Ae throws the rag at Tam, soaking wet rag smacking the middle of his shirt.Â
âDude!â
âI was just laughing at our friendly neighborhood hopeless romantic,â Biana laughs nervously.Â
âSomeoneâs got to,â Marella laughs.
âIâm going to spit in your next coffee, Redek,â Tam warns, a laugh in his eyes with his cheeks red.Â
âBe my guest, Tam, Iâll have Keefe try it first.â Marella laughs, then smacks the counter, leaning back off it. âIâd better get back there, bandâs gotta practice and theyâd fall apart without me, naturally.â
Ce winks at Biana before turning around, turning cer sun-smile back to the band, but with the way it changes, Biana can think just for a second, that ce had one just for aer.Â
But no, that would be ridiculous. Marella smiles like that for everyone, minuscule changes or not. Â
.
âSophie, Sophie, please tell me that aeâll realize soon. I winked at aer. IÂ winked. Do you even know how stupid I felt? Tam saw! Tam was looking at me while I flirted with aer,â Marella rants into cer phone.Â
Cer guitar is in itâs case, amp stuffed in a duffle bag hanging off Marellaâs side. Ce tosses cer keys up and down, only a few blocks from cer apartment.
âI donât know, aeâs worse than I was.â
âNow, I wouldnât go that far, Soph. I had to ask to kiss you for you to go âHey! Maybe Marella likes me!â.â
Marella fumbles with opening the door to cer apartment complex.Â
âIâm not that bad!â A moment of paused, only Marellaâs small laugh filling the space. âOkay, maybe I am.â
âMaybe?â
âYeah, Iâm that bad.â
.
Biana, like an idiot, had decided to come to the coffee shop on aer day off. While Marellaâs playing and Sophieâs in the crowd, skateboard leaning on his chair and bandaids covering her arms and hands.Â
âSit next to Sophie,â Jensi says, a fond shake of his head. âShe doesnât bite, at least to my knowledge. Though, one can never be sure with blondes.â
âWhat do you have against blondes?â Biana laughs, aer face twisting into confusion. A look so serious it has to be a joke falls onto Jensiâs face.
âNobody has hair that light naturally, I call witchcraft.â Jensi slides Bianaâs coffee across the counter and shakes his head. âNow, go sit with him or Iâll pick you up and put you in his lap.â
âYou canât even pick me up!â
âYeah, but Dex can and xe owes me for taking his shift so he could be annoying somewhere else.â
âThanks for that, by the way. Xe came over and spent the night, xe and Fitz were the worst. Itâs like they want to remind me how horribly single I am.â
âGo sit with Sophie and you wonât be.â
âFuck you, Jensi.â
Ae goes to sit by Sophie anyway, gaining a soft punch from Sophie when she sits down. A smile too, bright and warm just like always. Thereâs not much speaking, not that Biana minds.Â
Itâs nice just sitting next to Sophie, watching Marella dance around the best ce can with a guitar. But then Marella takes the microphone from Keefe after a song, letting him wander off stage (probably towards Tam, Bianaâs willing to bet).Â
âKeefe bet me ten bucks I he would confess to his crush first, and I want a coffee tonight and only have ten bucks, so here we go.â Sophieâs smiling like a madman, elbowing Biana like he wants to make sure aeâs listening. âSo, Biana, after way too much flirting, I would like to formally announce I like you and me and Sophie would like to take you on a date.â
âWhat.â The perfect thing for Biana to say in that moment.
âYou suck! I didnât bring money!â Keefe yells, in the middle of dramatically dipping down to his knee in front of time.
âYeah, yeah, keep going Lover Boy. Now, what do you say Biana?â
Thereâs a lot of heartfelt things Biana could be saying in this moment, and probably a lot of things ae should say. Instead, ae yells:
âI want to choose the place!â
Sophie and Marella laugh, Sophie throwing an arm over Bianaâs shoulder.Â
âYouâve got yourself a deal, Bee,â they both say with a laugh. Keefe stays off stage for the next song, Marella taking over vocals with a voice thatâs as rough as sandpaper in a lovely way.
âCe wrote this one for you,â Sophie whispers.
Biana finds ae believes it.
#kotlc secret santa 2022#sorelliana#sophie foster#biana vacker#marella redek#kam#keefe sencen#tam song#sophie would be a dm fight me#jensi babblos#dex dizznee
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RM: Mono to Stereo: A Breakup
Gorgeous banner by @awrkive
See Secret Song Series Masterlist for main series and for more RM: Mono to Stereo content.
Summary: Nam and Sam. They're in sync in every way... until suddenly they're not. CW/Tags: Heartbreak, angst, Idol Namjoon Word count: 5635
Late June 2019
âWe need to talk.âÂ
Namjoon should have known Sam meant something bad; werenât those words infamous? But that kind of thing had no place in his relationship, the longest one heâd ever had, a whole seven months that felt like it could stretch to eternity. This was something else the two of them had, something real, something mature, the kind of relationship he could be proud of. The kind of relationship he could go on tour with and have zero doubts about its stability back home. Heâd done the work, heâd done his best to be a good boyfriend, heâd prioritized her as much as he could despite all the pressures in his life, and the result was a relationship where we need to talk meant something beautiful.Â
Yeah, they did need to talk, because heâd been gone for weeks now on the Love Yourself: Speak Yourself tour and he needed to love her and speak to her before they headed down to Busan next week. And then Japan for much of July but August heâd be back in Seoul with her.
We need to talk, I found this neat article I think youâll like about how the human mind processes music.
We need to talk about that pot of noodles you made because it was horrible but Iâve been craving it.
We need to talk, Iâve had this earworm and I need you to transpose it to the keyboard for me, you know I canât play, if I hum it can you catch it?
We need to talk, Iâve got two whole days off and we gotta decide if weâre going to be naked at your place or mine.
We need to talk, my boss is driving me nuts and I donât need a solution I just need you to listen to me vent about how I want to boil him alive.
So of course he hadnât expected it to mean anything when Sam invited him over with those words. He went in like a fucking idiot, eager to know what article sheâd found or song sheâd heard or life question she wanted to ponder with him after they fucked themselves to another plane of existence. Thatâs how it was with her. The sex was that good. The conversation was that good. Everything about them was so fucking good!
He sank back in the chair by the window in the corner of her living room, not only his favorite place to sit but also about the only place available to sit thanks to the equipment piled all around the room. Sam had broken into the industry years ago as a producer âan incredibly talented one before you even considered the extra effort for making it in such a male-dominated industryâ but still hoarded things in her apartment as if she didnât also have studio space a short walk away. She liked to keep the tools of her trade close.Â
He understood it. Itâs why he went nowhere without his Macbook and a notebook. You didnât know when inspiration might strike, when you might hear something in your mindâs ear you needed to get down, and even his best efforts had never succeeded at getting rhythm or melody down properly with pen and paper. But Sam had a knack of transcribing what he hummed much faster than he could pitch it out âhe was convinced she had perfect pitch like Jungkook, but she insisted there was no such thing, one of the many things theyâd enjoyed heatedly debating that led to fucking. She was the first woman heâd ever been with who could make him so mad he wanted to fuck âheâd always thought that was something people made up in songs, just like heâd been doing. Turned out it was real. As in real fucking good.
âSo whatâd you want to talk about?â he asked, ignoring the confused bubbling low in his gut. She sat sideways on a padded bench in front of the keyboard, hands pressed down on the vinyl between her spread thighs. She looked to the side. He shifted, leaning forward, elbows on knees, trying to look enthusiastic about whatever she wanted to share.
She started to say something, then paused. She let out a deep sigh that sounded almost like a laugh. Namjoon felt his unease growing. Something was up. Worries flashed through his mind: Sheâs pregnant. She has cancer. She didnât like the song demo I showed her yesterday. Sheâs got an opportunity in New York or LA like sheâs been dreaming of and weâre going to have to do a long distance thing.
âIâll be straight with you,â she said. Familiar words: she knew he admired directness. Not assholeness, but directness. There was a time for poetry and there was a time to be clear. âAll right.â
âThis is the end of our relationship.â
âUh⌠say what now?â
âIâm sorry,â she said, but the downward curve of her mouth looked fake. âIâm⌠Iâm breaking up with you.â
He stared at her. The words werenât making sense and for a brief moment he thought he must have forgotten his native tongue. He was grossly misunderstanding her.
âIs this about LA?â he asked.
âWhatâs about LA?â
âAre you moving to LA?â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âIs that what youâre saying?â he asked. âYouâre moving to LA? Because I donât mind the long distanceââ
âNo. No, Nam, no.â
âWhat are you sayingâ because it sounds to me like youâre sayingââ
âItâs over, Namjoon,â she said. Namjoon. So final sounding. She always called him Nam. Nam and Sam, because it rhymed and was stupid and heâd let himself be a little stupid with her.
âBut⌠no. Why? This doesnât make sense. Wait waitââ
She let out a noisy sigh and closed her eyes, âI knew youâd argue with meââ
âYeah, Iâm going to argue with you! What are you talking about? Did I fuck something up? Did something come up? Just talk to me before youââ
âYou didnât fuck something up, you justââ
âI just what?â he interrupted,he couldnât help it. He felt like sheâd just upended a table in front of him and kept sitting there as glasses shattered and books bent and ripped. She sounded so calm and sure âshe was always a calm person but not about something like this. She was so full of feeling and passion too. About him!
âYou justâ youâre too busy!â she sighed. âItâs not your fault! Iâm too busy too! We donât have the time andââ
âAh, ok ok.â He leapt to his feet and paced as much as he could in the clutter. âI know, I was just gone for too fucking long, but Iâll only be in Busan for a few days. I can make more time for youââ
She stood and caught his hand. âNo. You canât.â
âYes I canâ hey, you want to come to Japan with me next month? I can take you, I can make it happenââ
âSlow down, baby,â she sighed, and caught his other hand, and finally her frown looked sincere.Â
Finally he believed what she was saying. She had that look, like she knew he was going to try to talk her into his way of thinking like he always did, and like this was one of those times it wasnât going to be possible. Â
âWhy are you⌠why are you doing this?â
âI donât want you to make more time for me,â she said quietly.Â
âSo what, you donât even love me orââ
âPlease donât be like this.â
âLike what, Sam? Upset? Upset youâre dumping me for no good reasonââ
âI have my reasons!â
âLike what? Tell me what I fucked up and Iâll fix it, itâs not that big a dealâ donât I deserve the chance toââ He broke off and turned away from her, pulling his hands away. Holding hands felt stupid and childish right now. He wasnât a child. His throat hurt, like words were piling up, swelling, scratching, too many to get out and he was going to choke on them. It just didnât make sense. âYou didnât even tell me anything was wrong and now youâ if you called me on tour I could haveâ I could have come home andââÂ
He couldnât have come home from tour just because his girlfriend was upset. They both knew that, and he appreciated she didnât call his bluff now.
She just shook her head. âIâm sorry. Iâm really sorry⌠to be honest, I didnât even think you would get this upsetââ
âWhat are you talking about, Sam? You know I love youââ
âYeah, I know you say the words. I know you say that you do. I know you, like, check the boxes to be with me and you make an effort and whatever but itâs justâŚâ
âSam. Come on. You donât mean that⌠you know Iâ baby.â He held his hands out to her. He took it a step further, brushing his fingers against her arms. He couldnât believe sheâd say something like that. They were so easy together! Everything had been so easy until this moment, really. Sure, they fought or got busy sometimes, but then they fucked and spent time together and it was all good again. âI love you.â
âI believe you. I donât know, youâre doing that thing again where you get me all twisted up with words,â she sighed and pulled away from his grasp. âI donât know. Maybe itâs not because of this or that, itâs not a specific thing, itâs just⌠itâs over. I need my time and my energy and myself back. I donât have time for a relationshipââ
â--for meââ
âAnd you donât either and⌠and itâs just gotten staleââ
âHow can you say that? Two days ago, you thought it was stale? A week ago when I went to dinner with you and your momââ
âYes!â
âNo. No, I donât believe you. Youâre just saying whatever now, youâre making excuses. You never said anything, you never had any complaintsââ
âYes I did but you didnât hear them!â she suddenly shouted. âOver your own thoughts! Your brainâ I admire the way your brain works so much but itâs so loud. Itâs too loud for our relationship!â
âWhat? My brain?!â
âItâs always going going going and the only way to make you stop is literally for like the two minutes of an orgasm and then youâre rolling over writing shit down on your phoneââ
âOk, sorry, so Iâll leave my phone outââ
âNo, you wonât,â she said, and covered her face. âYou wonât and I donât want you to. Iâm not saying you need to change. Iâm saying that we have had a great time and I treasure my time as your girlfriend, but Iâm ready to be something else now.â
âSomething elseâŚ?â
âJust⌠yeah, not that anymore. Iâm sorry. I didnât think this would be such a surprise to youâŚâ
âHow could this not be a surprise, Sam?! Youâre making such a mistake with this. I canât believe thisâ it just doesnât make sense and I believe, I really believe youâre going to realize that as soon as I leave. Do you understand what youâre throwing away right now?â
âYes.â
âObviously I canât say anything to change your mind,â he continued ahead as if he hadnât heard that. âBut if⌠if you love me even a fraction as much as I love you thenâŚâ
âI donât know. Maybe I loved you more, maybe you loved me more, butâŚit doesnât really matterâŚâ
âIt does matter! It fucking matters!â he cried. His breathing had caught up with his heart rate. He was overly hot now, crowded in her cramped apartment. His mind raced, trying to make sense of this. It was so out of fucking left field. Two days ago sheâd been sitting in his lap right over there as he played her his latest and then she showed him some things sheâd been working on! Heâd rubbed her ass until she turned around on his lap and theyâd taken things to the bedroom not long after. Stale?!Â
âI thought you liked myâŚ,â he said because she hadnât said anything. Heâd been going to say brain because she had, but it sounded stupid. âMy passion. My commitment.â
âI admire you so fucking much butâŚâ
âBut what? Is there someone else orââ
âWhat a shitty questionââ
âIt just doesnât make sense!â
âIt doesnât have to make sense to you. Iâm sorry but you donât get to control everything, especially not me. If you were paying more attention, this wouldnât be such a shock to youââ
âWhat are you talking about? Iâm always paying attention!âÂ
âYeah, to everything in the whole world. Itâs⌠look, Iâm sorry. I really am. Iâm sorry to leave you hurting when you have so much going on, but thereâs never a good time for this. Trust me, it hurts me too, but Iâm sure about this. Iâm ready for the next chapter of my life and⌠and youâre not in itâ
âGoddamnit,â he scoffed. âThatâs⌠thatâs a thing to say to somebody.â He paced away, and when he turned back, nearly fell into the chasm between them. He could practically look down and see it, this wide gulf that had not been there an hour before. She said it was, but it wasnât!
Her saying all this, suddenly doing all this, it didnât make any sense to him. He thought she must have met someone else. Even if it hadnât gone anywhere yet, because he didnât think she was that kind of womanâ but he hadnât thought she was this kind either. To just break up with him without warning. To not let him fix things. To just be done, not even give him a say in the matter, as if he was just nothing, nobody to her, as if he hadnât twisted himself into knots for months now to make sure she had enough of his time and attention.Â
And it still wasnât enough? He would try anything to make their relationship work, and apparently she wouldnât.
âSam.â He grew still, but his heart thudded so painfully hard in his chest his body swayed. Despite all the unreal things she was saying, it was still her, wasnât it? He knew that face. Heâd known her for so long. Heâd felt so comfortable and easy with her. She understood him in a way he didnât feel like any girlfriend had before. Not that he was thinking too far down the road or anything, but heâd thought they could get there. Heâd felt like he could be accepted by her, with all his flaws and all the pressure and all the performance for the world. He could be himself to her. He thought heâd done it right this time.
âSam, please.â
âIâm sorry. I think you should go now. We can⌠we can figure out how to trade our stuff back later.â
âSamââ
âYou canât talk us out of this one, Namjoon, Iâm sorry. Please go.â
Namjoon hesitated a moment longer, but he had some pride as a man. He couldnât stand for a woman to beg him to leave. He gathered what dignity he had left and didnât look back. He paused just long enough to wrestle the key to her apartment off his key ring and drop it on her counter because he needed some final act to believe this was actually a thing that had happened. The click of it was insignificant. It felt like it should be louder. Even her door shut too quietly behind him, a gentle whoosh instead of a slam.
He decided to walk, even though it was over an hour from her place to the dorm. It was the last place he wanted to be right now but he couldnât think of going anywhere else. Heâd left it hours ago a happy man with a girlfriend and now came back to it as a lonely, confused drifter.
To be sure it had really just happened, he checked his key ring and confirmed the key behind.
Sam had really just dumped him.
It didnât make any fucking sense.
He headed straight for his room inside and had the misfortune of not making it undetected. Jungkook, stepping out of the bathroom, gave him a surprised look.Â
âWe didnât order you any food,â he said. âI thought you went to Samâs.â
Jungkook, who had gone through his own nasty breakup several months ago, was finally doing better. Shockingly better. Heâd acted like his world was ending when he and that awful Ji-yu ended things. Namjoon had done his best to be sympathetic but she was such an obvious piece of work, good fucking riddance, so he wasnât sure heâd done a good job of it. It had been hard to see Jungkook so broken up over someone who didnât deserve a minute of his time. And also confusing. Many times, heâd wondered how Jungkook could possibly have thought Ji-yu was a good girlfriend for him and that theyâd have some long romance together. She had been a scheming, controlling, manipulative bâ
Well, it looked like he, Namjoon, was as stupid as Jungkook had been, because heâd thought the same fucking thing about Sam. Not that Sam was toxic or terrible or anything like Ji-yu. But⌠but sheâd still dumped his ass for reasons that didnât make any fucking sense. She hadnât even given him a chance to fix it. She must have met someone new, right? Which would mean maybe she wasnât as great as Namjoon had thoughtâ
But how could she not be? He couldnât think that. Sam was amazing. Funny and talented and passionate and laid back in all the right ways. Driven. Curious. Sheâd give him shit when he needed it, and support when he needed that, and space when he needed that. How many times had he thought to himself how easy it was to be with Sam, like they were really perfect together? And apparently she hadnât been thinking the same thingâŚ
âHyung?â
âWell Sam just dumped my ass so⌠not really, you know, hungry right now,â Namjoon said, and clapped Jungkook on the shoulder.Â
âWait, what?â
âYeah. So I donât fucking knowââ
âHuh? Why? I thoughtââ
âFuck if I know,â he said and liked how angry he sounded. He appreciated Jungkookâs confusion. âFuck if I know what just happened.â
âUhâŚâ
Namjoon just shook his head and walked away with a noise of annoyance. Yeah. Yeah, he was pissed! How could she do that to him? He might not be winning awards as a boyfriend but he had done his best and really worked to be there for her and not let his career interfere too much. She of all people had known what she was getting into dating him because she was in the industry too! What was this next chapter of her life anyway, and why didnât she want him in it? He wanted her in his next chapter!
He closed his bedroom door before Jungkook could follow him or send anyone else. He didnât want to have to explain it to anyone. If you loved someone, you didnât just dump them out of the blue. Sheâd said she loved him. Was she lying? Did her feelings change? Hadnât she been happy? Sheâd always seemed happy. Even three days ago, sheâd seemed happy!Â
Namjoon flopped backwards on his bed and just stared at the ceiling, waiting for tears to wash over him. He was sad. Very sad! His girlfriend had just dumped him. But it wasnât real in his heart yet, he knew that; his mind was still turning this new thing around and around, trying to figure it out because it conflicted with everything he thought he knew about Sam and his relationship.
He stared at the ceiling and waited for the tears to come. Sam. Sam had just dumped him.
He felt like crying. He wanted to cry. But the truth kept slipping through his fingers, and he couldnât cry about something he couldnât hold, thatâs how he felt.Â
Besides, any minute now, she was going to text him and admit sheâd felt instantly sick with regret. She hadnât meant for this to happen. She realized her mistake, she should have talked to him if she had concerns. Could he forgive her?
Heâd think about itâŚ
He could forgive her.
This was Sam. He was Nam. Of course he could forgive her. He loved her. She could make mistakes. He could make mistakes. This was them.
His phone lay dark on the mattress beside him. No notifications. No messages. No instant regrets.
âDonât do this to me, Sam, donât do this, itâs a mistake,â he whispered, as if sheâd hear it. He crossed his arms over his face. He tried to sort through the things sheâd said again, figure out what he had missed, but the words drifted up and away. His fingertips only brushed that one thing sheâd said about not wanting him in her next chapter.
Why couldnât he cry?! His girlfriend had just dumped him. He should cry! Jungkook had cried buckets over worthless Ji-yu. Yoongi had shed a few tears in front of Namjoon after his last relationship ended. Hoseok had done the whole ice cream, tissue box, wine bit when he and Se-ri ended even though heâd been the one to end it!
But he didnât feel like crying. He felt like staring at the ceiling until it changed back to being untrue. He felt like turning into a rock that had no thoughts or feelings and could just get worn down by the sands of time.Â
He felt nothing. Nothing. Empty. What was wrong with him?! Who felt nothing after they got dumpedâ
He sat upright. What if⌠what if sheâd broken his heart so quickly and completely that he couldnât feel anything anymore? How was he going to write?! How was he going to compose?! How was heâ
No. No no no. This was still all a mistake, he was sure of it. Sheâd make it a night without him and he could make it a night without her, no problem. Sheâd text him in the morning and if she didnât, heâd send her a text tomorrow night to check on her. Maybe she was in her own head, stressed about her own thing. That was fine. He could be cool about it, if she just needed a little space.Â
Tomorrow. Tomorrow everything would be fine. Heâd write a song about this night later, when he felt better, when he felt things again.Â
Being in his own studio was suffocating right now. The pressure to produce was driving him crazy, because he couldnât. It felt like a glass wall had appeared overnight, and when he reached for any creativity or muse or even just to fucking listen and enjoy things heâd already done, his hand bounced back. He was tired and no amount of sleep gave him the energy to sit in that chair. Instead anger bubbled over.
He didnât want to give Sam credit for blocking his muse, though he was smart enough to know they were connected. He hadnât been able to listen to that song heâd shared with her days before; it sounded like trash now, and he was convinced it had been a turning point for her. Sheâd hated it so much she dumped his ass.Â
He ought to be in his studio but instead he wandered over to Yoongiâs and knocked.Â
âYeah, come in, Namjoon!â came the muffled response. Namjoon didnât knock any differently than anyone else, he didnât know how Yoongi always knew it was him.Â
âGah, how do you work in this cave?â Namjoon complained as he stepped into the small dark studio lit only by a couple purple lamps on either side of the desk. Yoongi pointed over his shoulder to the light switch. Namjoon didnât suppress the groan mirrored in Yoongiâs squinted eyes at the harsh overheadsÂ
âBetter?â
âNo,â Namjoon grunted, and turned them back off. âDamn, we really got to do something about our studios. Theyâre shit.â
âI donât mind the dark,â Yoongi shrugged.
âAnd we need better chairs,â Namjoon added. He slumped into a fucking folding chair against the back wall. Yoongi didnât often want people in his studio anyway, which was obvious; Namjoon at least had two small upholstered chairs to encourage collaboration. The foam seat of this one was well worn, mostly by his own ass.
âMaybe one of those lounge couches?â
âYou mean like in a therapist's office?â
âYeah.â Yoongiâs smile emphasized the teasing. Namjoon sighed heavily as Yoongi pressed, âStill stuck?â
âNo⌠yeahâŚâ
âItâll come back,â Yoongi reassured him. How many times over the year had Yoongi reassured him of that? And vice versa. Two workaholics, they understood that creative fear that came from feeling the waters start to dry. Yoongi appeared to handle it better, but maybe because he shut down and retreated, whereas Namjoon spun up. Unable to work? Push harder. And harder. And harder until something terrible eked out he could then be dissatisfied with and fuel his panic even worse. Until someone âusually Yoongi, but sometimes one of the other producersâ took his panic by the horns and reigned him in.
âMaybeâŚâ
âDo you want to talk about it?â
Yoongi wasnât the first friend to ask that. Namjoon did his best not to burden others with his feelings but he wasnât good at hiding things from those close to him. His feelings leaked through âas anger, heâd been told. Even when what he was really feeling was sad or frustrated or hurt, he seemed angry thanks to the way he tried to clamp it down.Â
Well, he was angry too though! Sam shouldnât have fucking dumped him! Sheâd passed his stuff back to him through a mutual friend. Coward.
âNot really,â Namjoon sighed. Heâd already had a drunk evening venting about it to Yoongi. And to Hoseok. He didnât feel like he could vent to any of his other friends, many of whom were also friends with Sam. If he was a shit about their breakup to shared friends, she wouldnât realize her mistake and call him.Â
It had been weeks now. She had not realized her mistake and called him. He had mostly lost hope but there was still that little thread of possibilityâŚ
No. No, it was over. She wasnât coming back. And because Namjoon had been so happy and content, he had never braced for the wave of loneliness that hit him in her wake. He regretted it now. He regretted letting himself get so close and comfortable with her. He should have known better. Things couldnât last for him âbecause of his career, because of his needs, because of him.
âHave you written about it yet?â
Namjoon made a noise of frustration that Yoongi could misunderstand his stress so badly. âNo. I canât be objective about it yet, you know? Iâm justââ
âYeah, who says you have to be objective? Why would you need to be objective about your own breakup?â
âWellâŚâ
âItâs your own feelings. You just have to be honest. You donât need me to tell you that.â Yoongi dragged a pencil mindlessly across the desk, bouncing the eraser and then flipping it over. Namjoon wondered if heâd interrupted something. But if he had, usually Yoongi would just tell him to come back later.Â
âWell if Iâm honest, maybe Iâm going to die alone.â
âNo, at least weâll still be making music together.â
That made Namjoon smile. A sincere smile, infrequent these days.
âYeah, I guess we will⌠still making music aboutâ not about broken hearts,â he sighed. âItâs old. Itâs⌠itâs already done. Itâs trite. I donât have anything new to say. I know, everyone gets their hearts broken, everyone gets dumped, Iâm not special and Sam isnât special, we just did the thing that always happens, thatâs always going to happen.â
âYeah thatâs why there are so many songs about it,â Yoongi agreed. âAre you listening to yourself?â
âIâm tired of listening to myself.â
âWrite, donât write, it doesnât matter. Just write some bad stuff and decide later if itâs any good. Donât write objectively; weâll be objective when weâre deciding what goes on an album. Or donât write and just go for a hike. Youâre just constipated. Youâll shit our lyrics eventually, donât push so hard.â
âYeah⌠I know.â He did know. Heâd said all these same encouragements to everyone when they went through breakups. If if helped them as much as it helped him, he didnât understand why they hadnât all told him to fuck off.
âThereâs no shortcut. Itâs just time.â
âWell Iâm ready to move on.â
âIn your brain. Hearts take longer.â
âYouâre profound, hyung,â Namjoon teased. Yoongi rolled his eyes and set the pencil down.Â
âProfoundly tired.â
âMe too.â A beat of silence. âI still havenât cried,â Namjoon blurted out. âThatâs weird, right? I always cried before when I broke up. Maybe thereâs something wrong with me.â
âYou donât have to cry.â
âIâm just really mad about it,â he said, and stood and ran his hand through his hair because he really ought to leave Yoongi alone. He did not want to talk about this. âAnd itâs like⌠as long as I hold onto that anger, the breakup didnât really happen. Anger is still a connection. Crying, itâs the loss of that. Being sad because of all theâ because sheâs not in my life anymoreâ and sheâs fine. Right? Sheâs not thinking about this all day every day like I am, sheâs just doing her own thing. Sheâs the one who made this choice and Iâm the one stuck dealing with it so much longer⌠Sorry,â he broke off. âThe thing is, Samâs the one Iâd want to talk to.â
âWell, what do you think sheâd say?â
âI donât know, she wasnât good at advice.â
âWhat would you tell her then?â
âUh⌠I donât know. Itâs time to live for yourself. Donât love someone so much that you lose so much of yourself when they leave you. Love yourself moreââ
âYouâre thinking in song lyrics,â Yoongi argued. âYouâre already censoring yourself.â
âJust get used to loneliness,â he sighed. âNo one wants to hear a song about that. I just canât imagine doing this again, you know? I donât have time forâ I thought it was worth it to be close to her, but then she can just fuck me over like that⌠this is messing up my work, my sleep, myââ
âYeah, it sucks. But stop thinking about whoâs listening to the song. Just write your words.â
âWhat, that Iâm fucking lonely? And the person I thought understood me and was there for me just cut loose without any fucking warningââ
âYeah, sounds good. Go write it down.â Yoongi held the pencil out to him. âYou use one of these, donât you? Technophobe?â
Namjoon scowled at him. And took the pencil.Â
âIâm fucking lonely,â he pretended to write in the air.
âYeah, itâs perfect. Just start with that. Tell me when youâre ready to leave today, we can get a beer together tonight or something.â
Namjoon huffed. Heâd come in here to complain that he couldnât and didnât want to work, and instead Yoongi was sending him back to do just that. He was just going to get angrier if he started writing about it though. Angrier and angrier until he flashed and burned and⌠and then what would be left beneath that? A sad, shriveled, burnt up little Namjoon.
He didnât want to face the sadness. It was so much cozier to be angry and in denial and confused and defensive. The sadness⌠nah, he didnât want that. He didnât want to face that alone. Heâd thought he didnât need to be alone once he started dating Sam âeven though she hadnât understood everything in his life, but it had been better. And now it was worse.
âOK, yeah. Letâs get a beer later,â Namjoon agreed. Heâd write, heâd see what came out, and heâd surface for beer with Yoongi later. Even if he started to feel sad, heâd go for beers. And if the lyrics that poured out of him were too shitty or too mean or too pathetic, theyâd never go further than his own eyes. Heâd literally burn the papers.Â
He locked the door on his studio, dimmed the shitty lighting, and opened up a notebook, afraid of what might come out but trusting the life raft of a beer with Yoongi later.
Maybe he was never going to have a wife or a long-lasting girlfriend or a family but heâd always have his members, right?
God, was that pathetic? Or great? Some people didnât even have that⌠but probably everyone knew what it was like to feel betrayed by your own dreams and ambitions and trust. Probably everyone knew what it was like to wish you could escape your own feelings.
He sharpened the pencil Yoongi had given him and peeked beneath the lid of his heart and, factually true or not, the words ran like water from his pencil. He didnât write about loneliness yet though. He wrote his anger, his disillusionment, his loss.
His phone lit up with the time.
Never again he scrawled as he set his pencil down at the knock on his studio door. Time for drinks with Yoongi, who cared enough to come and get him.
Things change people change everything change... You gotta admit it
Don't you get it still
Someday a great grief will come for you
And then you'll know it too
You can't love someone like I do
That's all I can say to you - Change Pt. 2
See Secret Song Series Masterlist for main series and for more RM: Mono to Stereo content.
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Hart and Hunter - Chapter 7 - Part 1
*Warning Adult Content*
Dane Hunter
Julian picks up on the tension through our bond and halfway to the station, he breaks the silence that's fallen between us on the drive.
"How does a body disappear?" he asks.
I glance over at him, then back at the road.
"Given that Coleridge wants to talk to us about it, I'm guessing not one of the more usual ways. The more important questions are who made it happen and why."
"Hmm," Julian muses.
"Well, even in this town, I doubt he got up and walked away on his own."
At the station, I park in a visitor spot and spend half a minute staring at the front of the building, momentarily lost in time.
I hadn't worked here all that long but while I had, I'd spent more time here than at the tiny apartment I'd called home.
It's weird seeing it from this side and I have no idea what kind of reception we'll get.
The answer is, not much of one.
A bored-looking woman I don't recognize hands us a pair of visitor badges after verifying our IDs and we take the elevator up to the second floor.
The doors open to reveal a large space lined with about a dozen cubicles, with a wide aisle down the center.
The whole place is in commotion, with people talking, phones ringing, paper fluttering, keyboards clacking and printers whirring.
No one pays any attention as we navigate the chaos.
At the opposite end of the aisle, an open door leads to a glass-fronted private office in which Chief Laura Coleridge sits behind a forward-facing desk working on a computer.
Her usually crisp appearance is frayed around the edges and the takeout boxes in the trash tell me she hasn't left the office in a while.
She looks up and beckons as we approach.
"Shut the door and have a seat," she says, gesturing at two chairs before her desk.
We obey and Coleridge finishes typing something before she turns her full attention to us.
"I've got a shit-show on my hands and about a dozen fires to put out, so I'll keep this brief," she says.
"Lagrange's body was picked up from the morgue this morning. The autopsy had yet to be performed and I've just had word it's been destroyed."
"Destroyed?" Julian echoes.
"Cremated," Coleridge clarifies.
"As per the deceased wishes... wishes that were not to be fulfilled until after the medical examiner had finished her exams."
"A mix-up?" I suggest and Coleridge nods.
"Apparently but 'mix-ups' like this just don't happen. It's not as if the toe-tags got switched and Lagrange starred in some other poor schmuck's funeral. All the paperwork is in order. It's as if a series of perfect miscommunications led to the perfect mistake. No one is directly at fault. It's almost like..."
"A conspiracy," I say.
"A word I like to avoid but yes," Coleridge agrees, leaning back in her chair with her hands clasped.
"All right. So, what's it got to do with us?" Julian asks.
She regards him for a moment without answering, looking tense as a gambler about to make a risky bet.
Then she takes a breath and leans forward, all in.
"Look... weird shit happens in this town," she says.
"And yeah, weird shit happens in every town but the shit here is different. I used to be as skeptical as they come but I can't just dismiss things out of hand anymore and my instinct tells me this case is the kind of weird shit the two of you are best equipped to deal with."
She looks at each of us in turn.
"You've proven your abilities often enough, Hart and I don't know what your deal is, Hunter but I know there's more to you than meets the eye. I don't know what happened last year and I won't ask but dedicated, seasoned detectives don't just take a six-month leave of absence and then retire for no reason. My gut tells me you don't just see the weird shit... you're part of it," she pauses for breath and I watch her warily.
"So, you tell me."
She spreads her hands in a gesture of supplication.
"Do I have a simple case of widespread incompetence here or is there something more at play? Do I have nothing to worry about or do I introduce you to the team? Just remember..."
She holds up a finger.
"I will take whatever you tell me as the truth because I trust you... both of you."
Julian and I share a look.
I sense curiosity, courage and a slight sense of challenge through our bond.
He's as unsure as Coleridge if I'll take the case.
I raise a brow at him, pull the ticket Erickson had written me from my pocket, unfold it carefully and slide it across the desk.
"Take care of this and we're in," I say.
Coleridge picks it up, brows cinched and takes her time reading it.
Finally, she raises her eyes, a deadly serious expression on her face.
"Consider it done," she says.
"Monica Vasquez and Rian Halloran are the lead detectives on this one. Vasquez, you know... Halloran joined us a few weeks ago. They're out at the moment but they'll be at Lagrange's service on Sunday. I'll tell them to expect you there. In the meantime, welcome aboard."
********
"What changed your mind?" Julian asks, as we drive home once more.
Coleridge had briefed us on the case, given us what information she could share and introduced us to the rest of the department.
About half of the faces I'd recognized, the other half were new.
Somewhere along the way, Coleridge had also revealed this wasn't the first time she'd asked me to join the team and I'd sensed surprise and annoyance from Julian.
"What do you mean?" I return, playing for time.
"You obviously didn't want to take this case," he says.
"So, what changed?"
"Besides the fact Coleridge made it hard to say no... duty."
"Duty? To what? You're not a cop..."
"I know I'm not a cop anymore," I say, with a little more bite than I intend and consciously soften my tone.
"I'm not a cop but I'm still a Wolf and I'm still an Alpha."
Julian sighs.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that if I take Spring Lakes as my territory, it's my duty to protect the land and those who live here from non-human threats... things like rogue wolves and other hostile Shifters."
"I thought this was your territory?" I shake my head.
"Not officially. Not yet. But... it will be if I claim it."
Rubbing the spot between his brows, Julian says,
"Okay. How do you 'claim' territory? You just stick your 'Wolf flag' in the ground and say it's yours?"
This isn't how I'd envision this conversation happening.
In my version, there was dinner and maybe a drink or two involved and I take a breath to think about my answer before I speak.
"No. We don't 'own' it or take it away from anyone else. We... bond with it. The land grants the alpha greater strength and power and in return, the Alpha protects the land... with his life and unless I gave it up, I wouldn't be able to leave the land for long periods. As my mate, you'd be bound here, too."
"And I'm only hearing about this now because...?"
I chew my bottom lip.
"I was afraid you'd say no... that you wouldn't understand."
He sighs.
"You're right. I don't understand. I'll never completely understand what it means to be a Wolf. But I don't need to... just like you don't need to completely understand what it's like to be Fae. That's okay, Dane. We don't need to completely understand each other to love and support each other."
I reach across the seat for his hand but he withdraws it.
"You're right about my answer, too," he says.
"It's no... for now. Ask me again when you trust me enough to know my answer's changed."
I don't completely understand this riddle but as Julian said, that's all right and for the moment, I let it lie.
A few minutes later, I break the silence again.
"You remember what I told you about Wolves and other Shifters having networks? People at different levels and in different professions, who protect the community at large?"
He nods.
"Yeah?"
"What happened with Lagrange's body has all the hallmarks of that. Someone didn't want his body autopsied and made sure it wasn't. People with the right power, in the right positions, can make things like that happen... governments, organized crime but my money's on Shifters."
"Wait... you think Lagrange was a Shifter?" his voice rises half an octave with surprise.
"Then wouldn't Chloe know?"
"Maybe. Shifter clans are much more loosely organized than Wolf packs. A clan leader is like a mayor: most people in town know who the mayor is, but the mayor doesn't know everyone in town. Still, we'll ask, if she doesn't know, she'll know who might."
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That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral
hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours
also iâm only doing the brothers because any more than that and iâd have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom
Lucifer:
You and Lucifer go viral on Asmoâs Devilgram story!
Youâre in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.
Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!
About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a âMAMMOOOOOONâ and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.
He opens his mouth, presumably to tell yâall to shut the fuck up, but then thereâs a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the songâs vocalist and he freezes.
Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.
Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.
Luciferâs face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.
Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, âNo, you arenât. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,â and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.
Screenshots of Luciferâs heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. âGet you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MCâ and âme at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wingsâ posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)
Mammon:
Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmoâs Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?)Â
He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I donât know how you fell for it. But hey, they say âidiots in loveâ for a reason, so...
You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, heâs chillin, youâre on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.
The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.
âNo, Asmo,â you say. âMammon and I donât use pet names for each other.â Now thatâs just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.
âReally? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~âÂ
You sigh in response to Asmoâs teasing. âOkay, he has a lot for me but Iâm just not much of a pet name person, yâknow?â The rest of the exchange goes like this:
âOh, I totally get it.â *pause*Â âHey MC, what do human world bees make again?â
âHoney.â
Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.
âYeah, babe?â he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-
Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (âMAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOUâ âW-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!â)
Leviathan:
Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.
You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Leviâs weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams.Â
Itâs completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but heâs the avatar of envy after all. He doesnât like sharing his partner, even if itâs with random strangers who have no real access to you.
However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didnât realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasnât unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.
Then you notice his screen. Oh! âHi chat!â You wave, setting Leviâs food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. âM-MC!â He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.
Honestly, theyâd meme the fuck out of him if it werenât for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!
Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that.Â
Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when youâre pampering him like that.
You start answering chatâs questions about you while heâs chewing so he canât tell you to stop LMAO-
Youâre a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Leviâs account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.
Satan:
There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way.Â
Satan does have a Devilgram, but itâs basically a white womanâs Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless youâre a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.
However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. Theyâd always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism.Â
This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesnât really get why but you both joke that itâs because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.
You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.
The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, youâre scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.
âIâm quoting here, Satan: âher breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.â IâM SORRY?? THAT ISNâT HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?âÂ
(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)
Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-
When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGSâ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.
Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on.Â
Asmodeus:
Iâm gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.
However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.
Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guysâ âNail Nites,â as you call them.
Youâre both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and thereâs a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.
A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.
ââWhat colors do you think best describe each other?â Ooo, thatâs a good one, chat!â Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be careful of his nails.
Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with âHmm...probably yellow or orange.â
âCan I ask why, darling?â Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesnât wear them often so heâs wondering about your thought process.Â
âWell, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. Youâre always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.â
Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care.Â
Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.
Beelzebub:
Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet.Â
Itâs a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beelâs team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.
So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention.Â
You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; youâre fine.)
A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, thereâs a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:
You slide off the railing, landing right in Beelâs waiting arms bridal style. Youâve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him itâs because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.
Soft boyâs chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.
The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.
The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.
Belphegor:
If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Luciferâs posts but thatâs neither here nor there-)
Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmoâs Devilgram.Â
Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.
So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. Iâm talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place.Â
And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.
So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks theyâre adorable.
Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like âThe things we do for love <3âł.
They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly.Â
The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.
âIf my girl doesnât climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she donât love me.â âGet yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.â Etc etc...Belphie doesnât give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.
#IM SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY WRITTEN THIS#obey me#my writing#obey me headcanons#obey me x reader#lucifer#mammon#leviathan#satan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor#posts
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The Fight
âDo you want to go to dinner today?âÂ
âSure.âÂ
âOkay! Iâll come to your office then when I get off work. Make sure that you get all of your work done so I donât have to wait for you!â The girl finished the message with a winking emoji and slid her phone back into her bag. A smile crossed her face and she hummed to herself as she tapped away at the keyboard.Â
The two had been so busy lately that she hadnât seen Victor in over a week. It started with her business trip to film a promo, then Victorâs trip abroad, and before she knew it the entire week had slipped away. Texts and nightly phone calls really didnât fill the void in her heart or the spaces between her fingers, and she itched to see him again.
By the time five pm rolled around, the girl had packed everything up and was practically beating down the door to leave. Truth be told she could have left at any time, but the guilt of leaving her employees to work overtime while she flitted off to have dinner with Victor kept her in her office. A knock at the door shot her head up and she leaned back in her chair to see Anna standing in the doorway. âDonât stay too late, boss,â she teased, leaning in the door frame. âI heard Victor is back in town.âÂ
âLet me guess. Kiki was being a gossip again?â the girl laughed, and Anna joined in with a nod of the head. âDonât worry. I was just waiting for all of you to finish up before heading over to LFG. I have a weekâs worth of reports to turn in.âÂ
âAnd a fiance to see,â Anna teased, causing the girl to blush slightly. âOh, come on. You donât have to be so shy about it! We all know about the engagement and it is perfectly normal for young couples to be excited after some time apart. Why donât you hurry on over there? Iâll lock up.âÂ
The girl nodded and picked up her bag, placing a hand on Annaâs shoulder as she passed. âThanks, Anna. And you tell Kiki that sheâs a creepy stalker!âÂ
Annaâs laughter followed the girl as she hurried out the door and down the hallway to the elevator. Excitement was pulsing in her brain and she could practically feel his warmth on her skin. The entire ride to LFG was spent fiddling with her phone, wondering why Victor had not replied to her last message.Â
She burst from the car and while she did not run through LFGâs hallways, she was sorely tempted to do so. Come on, come on, she muttered as the elevator carried her upwards at what felt like a snailâs pace. The doors opened and in her haste, she found her face coming into contact with a suit and tie. âVic-â she paused, her eyes glancing upward, âGoldman! Iâm so sorry. I was just in a bit of a hurry to see Mr. CEO.âÂ
âI could see that,â Goldman chuckled, stepping back and straightening his shirt. âThe boss said youâd be by soon, and he asked me to intercept you. Heâs currently with a client and said to have you wait until heâs finished.âÂ
A shadow fell over the girlâs smile and her shoulders slumped. âOh, okay. Do you know who the meeting is with or how long it will be? I had wondered why Victor hadnât replied to me since this afternoon.â She allowed Goldman to lead her to his own office where he offered her a cup of coffee. âThanks,â she murmured and took a sip.Â
âI would suspect the meeting should be over soon. This woman has been coming by every few days, meeting with Victor for an hour, and leaving without saying a word to anyone. I believe sheâs a representative of some modeling company that wants to get funding from LFG. Theyâve been at it for years, but keep getting turned down.âÂ
A flashback to the first day of meeting Victor played behind the girlâs eyes, and she nodded slowly. âI seem to remember something like that from my first trip here. The company must be very persistent if theyâre still trying!âÂ
Goldman nodded and sipped his own coffee, a frown on his face. âYeah, and I really donât like this woman. She comes and goes, sometimes showing up multiple times a week and others going missing for months at a time. I figure she shows up whenever they lose a sponsorship elsewhere or something, but thatâs just a guess.â He shrugged, the shoulders of his suit coat rising and falling in a dramatic fashion. âPersonally, I wish Victor would just ban her from the building already.âÂ
The familiar sound of Victorâs office door opening entered Goldmanâs office and the girl jumped up, finishing her coffee in one swig. âThanks for the coffee and chat, Goldman. Iâve got a date with Victor tonight and this time, Iâm not going to be late!âÂ
As she exited Goldmanâs door, a familiar form approached. She was tall, thin, and blonde...and definitely the woman that had exited Victorâs office that day. Chik. Chik strolled down the hallway with her nose in the air, pausing only briefly when she noticed the girl standing there. Chik shot her a dirty look and kept on walking, with just a hint more swagger in her step.Â
The girl felt a strong wall of emotion rise up in her gut and color her vision. With a sneer in Chikâs direction she turned and barged into Victorâs office, feeling relieved at finally being able to see him.Â
Victor hardly looked up from the paperwork on his desk as the familiar sound of the girlâs presence filled the office. âWell, I see youâre on time today,â he quipped, turning the page. âDid you have our dinner plans settled?âÂ
His nonchalance took the wind out of her sails and the girl sat down on the couch in the corner where she always sat. âYes. I thought we could go try the new dishes at Delicioso. Iâve heard theyâre very good.â She leaned toward him, hoping to gain more of his attention, but Victor remained focused on his paperwork, humming in acknowledgement. A sigh slipped from her lips and she leaned back, frowning. âSo much for getting everything done so there was no waiting.âÂ
âSorry.âÂ
And that was it. For the next thirty minutes Victor continued to work while the girl grew increasingly upset. He didnât seem in the least bit excited to see her, despite their time apart. She leaned on her elbow and watched his slender face, those dark eyes impassible and his expression unreadable. The clock ticking away on the wall became the enemy, reminding her of each second passing by.Â
Finally, Victor looked up from the report and rubbed his eyes. âAlright, letâs go.â The papers were packed neatly into the briefcase in one hand, his hat went on his head, and he picked up his jacket with the other hand. âGoldman will drive us to the restaurant.â Out the door he went with the girl trailing close behind. She longed to reach out and take his hand, but they were both full and he showed no sign of reaching out for hers. Even more gloom settled into her stomach. What was going on?Â
The walk down the hallway, ride in the elevator, and stroll to the car were all completed in silence with Victor staring off into space and the girl searching his face for any sort of clues. It was cold, proud, and distracted as ever and provided no finger holds for deciphering his mood. He leaned over slightly to open the back door for her, closed it behind her, and sat in the front himself. âEvening, boss. Good to see you without a page in front of your face,â Goldman greeted, receiving only a nod and grunt in response.Â
Goldman and the girl made casual conversation as they weaved through the evening traffic on the way to the restaurant. Victor was glued to his phone, messaging someone in what seemed to be a constant conversation. Despite her desire to lean forward and peek at his screen, the girl forced herself to remain with her back against the seat and her eyes on Goldman. They pulled up to the restaurant and Victor finally put his phone in his pocket, exited the car, and offered his hand to the girl.Â
With relief washing through her body and chasing away the paranoid thoughts, she took Victorâs warm hand and waved goodbye to Goldman. âDo you know what you want to order?â Victorâs voice was mild and he gave her hand a squeeze, leading her through the doors and sitting down at one of the closest tables.Â
Dinner was...well, dinner. The girl chatted away about her week, while Victor nodded and picked at the hot pot they had ordered together. Eventually she ran out of things to report and looked him in the eyes. âHow was your trip? You havenât said anything about it yet.âÂ
Victor frowned and shook his head. âIt was a waste of time.â She waited for him to elaborate, but when it became obvious that he didnât want to talk about it, her shoulders slumped and she went back to eating. If he didnât want to engage in any meaningful way, she knew there was no way she was going to change his mind. They finished in silence and Victor paid the bill. âI have to go back to the office. Iâll call you a cab to take you home.âÂ
She opened her mouth to argue, but instead frowned and nodded. âAlright. I guess Iâll see you another day, then. I can get my own cab.â She pulled out her phone and walked away from Victor, leaving him standing in the middle of the restaurant watching her back disappear into the darkness. Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes, but she took deep breaths in an attempt to keep them from growing and falling.Â
It was this moment that Victor realized that something had gone wrong. His eyes narrowed and he thought about their night, trying to pinpoint exactly what had upset her. Did she really want to hear more about his trip? Was she hoping for a gift from his travels? No, neither of those really seemed in character. She had seemed normal up to this point...hadnât she? He frowned and pulled out his phone, seeing that he had ten unread messages. With a sigh he scrolled down to his conversation with the girl to see if he had missed anything in her previous messages. Nothing. She must be in a mood...Victor shrugged and returned to the other messages, replying to them as he waited for Goldman to return with his car.Â
By the next morning, Victor had not received any more texts from the girl. She hadnât answered his good night phone call, either. He stalked into the office and everyone immediately felt a chill. They put their heads down and ensured they looked like they were working hard, though Victor didnât even glance at anyone on his way up to his office.Â
Even Goldman got the cold shoulder. He had suspected when Victor got into the car last night that something had happened, but theyâd been friends long enough that the assistant knew better than to mention it. Once the office door closed it did not open again for hours and the rest of the building slowly relaxed.Â
By the end of the day, Victor had only emerged once to use the restroom and return to his office. While this wasnât entirely unusual, the few unfortunate souls who had to knock on the door were firmly sent away. Rumors flew around the office in hushed whispers that Victor had gotten into a fight with his fiance, though nobody seemed to know who started the rumor nor did anyone have any evidence.Â
Meanwhile, Victor spent his day checking his phone and growling every time the new message was not from the girl. Again the screen lit up and he picked up the phone, only to see yet another text in the other conversation. The phone was slammed down on the desk in frustration and Victor held his head in both hands, eyes closed as he regulated his breathing.Â
Night had fallen. The office whispered with air conditioning and the hum of back up lights, but no feet or voices remained to give humanity to the atmosphere. Victorâs office was lit only by the single lamp, which cast long shadows on his face and made his eyes appear even darker than they had been. The clock began to chime, nine long tones breaking the silence. Victor stared at the dark screen of his phone, somehow expecting the usual call.
But it never came.Â
He set aside his pride and tapped through to the girlâs contact pinned at the top of his list. With the phone on speaker sitting on his desk, Victor stared at the picture on the screen of the pair of them. The girl held a tiny kitten up to his face, grinning and holding his hand firmly. The memory of that day broke slightly through the drizzle that had dampened his day, though the sound of her voicemail brought a new downpour.Â
âFine. Iâll show up at your door, then.â Victor picked up his keys, flipped the lamp off, and stalked down to the car with his face cold and stern. He didnât even entertain the idea that she might not be home; where else would she be? There were no reports due for over a week, and her last filming session had been today. Logic said she would be on her couch with a snack and a cup of tea, watching some banal movie on the television. Probably a sappy girl movie to wallow inâŚ
As he pulled up, his eyes went automatically to the window of the girlâs apartment. As he expected, a soft glow lit it up. He put the car in park and picked up the small package he had picked up from Souvenir on the way. Despite having no idea why the girl was upset, he absolutely knew what to do to win back her favor.Â
*Knock knock*
*Knock knock*Â
Silence met his knocks and Victor pulled out his phone. âHey, itâs me at the door. I know youâre home because your lights are on.â He pressed send and waited. Thirty seconds later the lights clicked off and Victor sighed. Really mature⌠âToo late for that. I saw you turn off the lights. Just open the door, dummy. I brought you something. And turn the lights on or youâll fall flat on your face.âÂ
This time he could hear the sound of his text message arriving on her phone, followed by a sigh of exasperation. The lights clicked on and her shuffling footsteps came up to the door. A click announced the lock disengaging and the door opened just a few inches to reveal the girlâs eye. âJust go away, Victor. Go back to whoever has been blowing up your phone since you got back.â She closed the door and her footsteps retreated, but Victor did not hear the lock click.Â
He stared at the doorknob for a long time, trying to decide if she had left it unlocked on purpose. Go back to whoever has been blowing up your phone⌠The girlâs words echoed in his mind, and an image of the issue began to form in his mind. Victor took hold of the handle and turned it.
The door opened with a soft creak. Victor stuck his head into the apartment and spotted the girl sitting on the couch, her knees pulled close as she hugged a pillow to her chest. She looked up for a brief moment before returning to staring into space. âDo you mind if I come in?â
She did not respond, but Victor took that as an invitation and opened the door wide enough to slip inside. He pulled his feet out of his shoes and put on the slippers she kept by the door for him, then cautiously approached the couch. âI brought a peace offering,â he said, holding out the small package. When she did not make any move to accept it, Victor placed the gift on the table and sat down on the far end of the couch. He sighed and reached out to take her hand, but she pulled it away.Â
The simple movement was like shards of ice to his heart. Victorâs eyes softened slightly and he folded his hands in his lap. âDummy, what is wrong?â His voice was tender and he leaned toward her despite her closed off body language. âIâm not a mind reader, after all. Thatâs more in your Evolâs realm.âÂ
His joke fell completely flat, failing to lighten even a little the oppressive feeling in the room. She tucked her face into the pillow and her shoulders shook just a little. Victor was at a loss for what to do, his hand extended toward her but afraid to actually touch her. They sat in silence for a long time, until the girlâs soft voice broke it. âDid you even miss me at all?â
Eyebrows narrowed, Victor scooted closer. âOf course I did. Why in the world wouldnât I?â The girlâs eyes peeked up over the edge of the pillow, filled with anger and sadness. He again reached out for her hand, but she shook her head.Â
âYou had no interest in holding my hand or talking to me yesterday, so why are you so concerned tonight?â Her words held a sharp edge which cut through Victor and made him wince. Had...he really come across that way? Going over yesterdayâs meeting, he did remember his hands being full on the way to the car, and their silent drive to the restaurant⌠Her voice broke him out of his thoughts again. âYou spent the whole night texting someone. It was Chik, wasnât it?âÂ
Surprise filled Victorâs eyes, which only seemed to infuriate the girl more. âYes, but-âÂ
He was cut off by the girl throwing the pillow at him and rocketing up from the couch. Without another word she ran to the door and put on her shoes, disappearing into the hallway before Victor could even register what was happening. He stood for a few seconds, staring at the broken pudding that had been knocked off the table and onto the floor. *What are you doing? Go after her, you idiot!* his inner voice screamed, and he immediately jumped into action. He put his shoes back on and grabbed her keys from the hook, locked her door to avoid any unsavories from entering while they were gone, and ran down the hallway shouting her name.
The girl had made surprisingly good time. In the few seconds between her door slamming behind her and Victor emerging in the hallway, she had completely disappeared. He ran down the staircase, emerging in the lobby just in time to see her sprinting out the front door. Out of reflex he activated his Evol, only to remember that it didnât work on her as she disappeared again into the darkness. âDamnit!â he shouted, restarting time and hurrying outside after her.Â
He burst into the cold darkness and looked down both sides of the street, trying to figure out which way she had gone. A shadow passing beneath a streetlight half a block away caught his eye and he took chase, his feet pounding the pavement. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed her number as he ran, not expecting her to answer but at least hoping that her screen would light up and make her easier to follow.Â
The ringing ended and her voicemail message played. âPlease! You have entirely the wrong idea! Just come back so I can explain!â His words were ragged as he spat them out between breaths, wondering how and when the girl had gotten so much faster. At the next corner he again paused to figure out which direction she had gone. His breath came out in fluffy white puffs, drifting upwards in the cold.Â
Annoyance and concern turned to panic as he realized that the girl was running around in the dark and cold in nothing but pajamas. âDummy!â he shouted, releasing the last of his frustration to make room for the fear. Where had she gone? She couldnât stay out here too long or she was going to end up with hypothermia...he felt the sweat on his own body evaporating and leaving him with chills beneath his heavy suit coat.Â
Victor called the girlâs phone over and over, listening carefully in the silence of the night as he wandered up and down the nearby streets. She wouldnât have run super far, would she? She was impulsive, but not entirely stupid. Surely a block or two away she would have run out of rage and found a place to sit, right? Operating on this thought, he activated the flashlight on his phone and continued walking, redialing, and listening in between calling out her name.Â
He was growing increasingly desperate. Had she gotten lost somewhere? Fallen and injured herself? Was she freezing? His eyes scanned every nook and cranny while he wracked his brain for other ways to locate her. Until, however, a sniffle caught his attention. He stopped dead and closed his eyes, focusing on his hearing. Another sniffle from slightly ahead and to his left hit his ear and he walked up cautiously to a bench. He sat down and caught his breath, facing the street with his phone in his hand. âYou are going to freeze to death out here in pajamas,â he texted her, hearing the vibration of her phone directly behind him.Â
No responding text came, though he suspected she wasnât sure if he had seen her. Victor sighed and put his hand behind him, reaching through the slats of the bench toward the girl. âI know youâre there. Will you please come out so we can talk?âÂ
She did not respond and Victor again sighed, standing up and removing his jacket. He slipped through the bush to the left of the bench and settled down on the ground next to her, dropping his coat on her shoulders, still warm from his body. She moved only slightly, pulling the fabric closer around herself.Â
Victor wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him, feeling her entire body trembling. Whether with cold or the tears streaming down her face, he was not sure...but he held her close to him either way, his strong arms holding her against his still-heaving chest. He gently pressed her head into his shoulder and she did not resist, burying her red cheeks against his neck. âI believe there has been a huge misunderstanding,â he whispered, running his fingers through her hair. âI think I know where your mind has gone, but donât you think we should probably go back to your apartment where it is warm? Iâll make you a cup of tea and we can talk about it.âÂ
The girl shook her head and wrapped her arms around Victorâs chest. âYou didnât seem at all excited to see me yesterday,â she whispered, her breath on his exposed, cold skin feeling particularly hot. âI saw Chik come out of your office and Goldman told me she has been around a lot. What conclusion would you come to?â
He remained silent for a long time, frowning at her words. âDid Goldman not tell you that she only comes to continually harass me for an investment? Sheâs the kind of woman who thinks if she flaunts herself enough and persistently enough, a ânoâ will turn into a âyes.â But unlike a certain dummy who is equally persistent, her company holds no interest to me. Between her constant stream of annoying text messages and the absolute failure of a business trip, I wasnât excited about much at all yesterday.â Victor shifted to sit cross-legged in the dirt and pulled the girl into his lap, lifting her chin to look her in the eyes. âDo you really think so little of my loyalty that such paltry âevidenceâ shakes your faith in me?âÂ
Silence met his question. She didnât seem to know what to say, and either did Victor. Instead he pulled out his phone and opened it to Chikâs contact, shifting the screen so the girl could read the conversation.Â
âWe did exceptionally well this quarter! Wouldnât you perhaps reconsider your decision?â
âSurely you know that fashion is a booming industry! You will regret not taking part in it! We only need a few million to build the new studio!âÂ
âMy most recent blog post was trending on âFashion Weekly.â Doesnât that mean anything to you investment types?!â
The more she read, the dumber she felt. She looked away ashamed, burying her face in Victorâs neck and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. âIâm sorry,â she whispered, tears again falling from her cheeks and soaking into Victorâs shirt. âIâve been the biggest dummy everâŚâÂ
âYes, yes you have,â Victor replied, slowly stroking her back. âIt hurts me that you would immediately jump to a conclusion of infidelity when Iâve made it so very clear that it has always only been you. No one else has ever interested me in the least. Through all the trials and years of searching for each other...it has always been you.â He squeezed her tightly until she squeaked from all the breath being pushed out of her lungs. âCome on, letâs get back to your apartment before we both get hypothermia.âÂ
He rose with the girl in his arms and began walking toward her building, not bothering to worry about putting her down. She didnât seem inclined to leave his arms, anyway...not with hers wrapped tightly around his neck. Victor carried her all the way to her apartment building, where she finally released him and slipped his coat from her shoulders. Victor moved to refuse it but she shot him a sharp look and he put it back on. Hand in hand they returned to her apartment and sat down on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and closed their eyes wearily.Â
Before long the gentle ticking of the clock lulled them both off to sleep, wrapped up in the embrace of the one who kept their world turning.
#mlqc#mlqc fanfic#mlqc victor#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc victor fanfic#mr love queen's choice#mr love victor#mr love victor fanfic#mr love li zeyan#mr love li zeyan fanfic#evol x love#evol x love fanfic#evol x love victor#evol x love victor fanfic#evol x love li zeyan#love and producer#love and producer li zeyan#love and producer victor
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Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9
1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.
Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.
Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Word Count: 14.3K
1-4, 5-9, Epilogue
Chapter 5
Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and sheâs spent every day since then planning it out for him.
Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldnât use a knife in the prison.
She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.
Deciding that she wasnât going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasnât.
She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasnât sneaking in anything.
âItâs just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,â she smiled.
âI know, but I have to look anyway,â the nice man smiled. âHave a good day today Dr. Pat.â
âThankâs, you too, officer Kyle,â she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.
Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.
âHey, hey, hey,â she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. âUn-cuff inmate Reid, heâs not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.â
âWhatever,â he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.
âWhat a dick,â she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.
âGood morning Spencer,â she changed her tone to match her growing smile.
He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. âGood morning to you too, Y/N.â
She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. âSorry I was almost late,â she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.
She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, âfor all your help this week,â she smiled.
Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. âYouâre too kind to me,â he was bashful as always.
âI have something I wanted to talk to you about,â she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.
âThat doesnât sound good,â he tried to joke as he sat down.
âI asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I havenât opened them yet,â she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.
He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. âWhy not?â
âI wanted your permission,â she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.
âOh?â
âYouâre very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I donât want to break the trust weâve built by looking into something so intimate,â she explained her thoughts. âItâs not fair for me to learn about the worst thing thatâs ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.â
âWhat do you know already?â He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.
She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. âI know the 3 charges that youâre in on, and that youâre being framed.â
âI think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I donât think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,â he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.
Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.
She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.
âOkay,â she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.
She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?
âI finished reading,â she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. âDo you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who youâve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?â
âWhy?â He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratchâs doing.
âIt feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, Iâve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew youâd do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.â
Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, âcan you call Penelope?â
âYeah,â she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.
âWell hello there, Love Doctor,â Penelope teased as she answered.
âUm hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,â she panicked.
âOh, sorry, how are you Spencer?â
Spencer looked so confused, âIâm good⌠Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-â
âGood, did you find anything?â Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.
âHave you looked into everyone Iâve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?â Spencer asked. âI told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees heâs helped?â
âOn it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?â Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.
âLong brown hair, but itâs probably different now,â he added. âEverything else is dark, I didnât see her face or any other features.â
âAlright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,â Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. âTake care of each other, my loves.â
âLove you,â they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.
Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.
âI have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,â she smiled up at him.
âCanât wait,â he beamed a smile back.
She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.
â
Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.
âSo,â she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. âA little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exactâŚâ
âNo way?â He gasped as he turned around in his chair.
She nodded with a cheeky grin, âhomemade so I could sneak it in.â
She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.
Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, âI donât know how to thank you for everything you do for me?â
âCome here,â she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.
She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.
âIâll take hugs as payment from now on,â she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.
Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. âDid you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I donât have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?â
âOkay,â he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.
He was ever the gentleman.
Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencerâs eyes basically roll into the back of his head. âYou thought of everything?â
âBread is my life,â she laughed.
When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.
She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.
The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought sheâd be having a date at a prison.
Thatâs basically what this was, a date.
She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, sheâs thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how theyâd feel between her own.
But she wont.
âDig in honey,â the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.
She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasnât crying, where he wasnât vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldnât stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.
She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didnât happen. âThank you,â Spencer cut into the awkwardness.
âYouâre welcome,â she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.
From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.
âThat good?â She asked, teasing him softly.
He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.
He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.
âThat was delicious,â Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. âAre you done?â He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.
âYeah, thanks,â she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.
He didnât sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.
âSo, chess is pretty easy to learn,â he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. âDo you know any of the rules yet?â
âUm, I know where they all go, I know that you canât go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?â She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.
He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, heâd just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.
The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasnât grasping the concept of the game.
âI just like, donât care about the rules?â She couldnât stop giggling at the fact she wasnât picking up on anything he said.
Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, âthen how do you want to play?â
She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, âI want to put this here and fight your guy. Thatâs why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.â
He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. âWell sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?â
She couldnât stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.
It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.
Spencer was the one to pull off first, âshit,â she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.
He laughed, smiling at her softly. âItâs okay,â he promised, âIâve wanted to do that for a while.â
She doesnât stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencerâs tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.
Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.
She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.
âWe can't,â he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.
âSorry, this was unprofessional I know,â she tried to play it off.
Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. âNo, I donât regret it. Itâs just, Iâm not ready.â
âOh,â she says softly. Then it clicks, âoh, oh my god, Spencer Iâm so sorry I forgot. I didnât mean to push you into anything,â she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.
He shakes his head, âyou didnât. I want to, believe me, I just donât think I can handle the after partâŚâ
âI cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,â she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.
âYou donât have to-â
âI want to,â she assured him. âYou shouldnât have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.â
âYou donât have to tell me the details, I donât want to think about someone hurting you,â he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.
âOkay, so hereâs everything else,â she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. âI had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. Sheâs my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.â
She gave him the basics, âI donât have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so Iâve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.â
âUnderstandable,â he smiled softly. âwhatâs your mom like?â
âShe died when I was 26,â she pressed her lips together awkwardly. âI havenât talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.â
âIâm so sorry,â Spencer whispered.
âI can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I donât know my dad. Iâve been hurt by people, Iâve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,â she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasnât pulling back any time soon. âWho you are is not what you did, or what youâve been through.â
He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didnât want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.
He pulled back softly, âI lied to you.â He whispered against her lips.
âWhen?â She asked, scared to know the answer.
âI do remember you from Derekâs wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,â he couldnât look at her.
âThatâs not a huge lie,â she smiled softly. âIâd be lying if I said I wasnât looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.â
âDerek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldnât go and kill him,â Spencerâs voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be,â she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. âThank you.â
âI donât want to go back to my cell,â he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.
Breaking her heart in the process.
She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. âWe canât do this again until youâre free,â she whispered.
âI understand.â
âSo you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,â Y/Nâs stern voice made him smile.
âThank you,â he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.
â
For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencerâs gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.
Thinking about the feeling of Spencerâs hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.
She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.
âHey kick-ass, how are you doing today?â Derekâs voice was overly cheery, âHey!â Savannah added in the background.
âIâm in love with him.â
Chapter 6
She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.
A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.
She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.
Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. Heâd be okay.
She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.
âYou two are going to be the death of me,â she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.
She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldnât put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.
âIt is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?â She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, âwho is worth this?â
âYou donât want to know,â Mike said under his breath.
âWell clearly heâs not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, Iâm going to be pissed,â she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.
âIt was Shaw,â Jerry said softly. âHe was planning to hurt the new guy, heâs all fake buddy-buddy with him.â
âExcuse me?â She panicked.
âHeâs been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,â Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.
âWhat are they going to do to Spence?â
âSpence?â Jerry teased her, poking her side. âI didnât know he had a nickname already. Why havenât we met him yet?â
âIâve kept him locked away to be safe, Iâm going to find a way to keep him here at night,â She said softly. âHeâs best friends with my brother, I canât let him get hurt.â
âSo you knew him in freedom land?â
She nodded, âa little.â
âAll you need is a bandaid,â she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. âAnd Jerry Iâm going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.â
They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.
Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.
She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.
âI thought you said I couldnât do that again till Iâm free?â He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.
She smiled against his lips, âyouâre free when weâre alone.â
He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.
She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, âI have a coffee and donut for you in my office.â
âYouâre too good to me, Sugar Pie.â
âAnything for you, Honey Bunch,â she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.
âI actually have a serious question to ask you,â his tone changed, making her concerned.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âIâm still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,â he explained. âI was wondering if youâd help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.â
âOkay,â she nodded softly. âI can book you in for the night here, say youâre under observation, and Iâll stay here with you.â
âAre you sure?â
She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. âIf youâre sure about it, Iâll help you. But we need some ground rules.â
âOf course,â he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.
âNo kissing, nothing like that, weâll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later youâll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, heâs harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,â she explained. âIâm not going to take advantage of you, I donât want you to regret it. Itâs going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.â
He nodded along as she set the rules, âthose are good. Thank you.â
âThey drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, Iâm not letting you do that,â she laughed. âI have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.â Letting him pick his poison.
âThe pills will be fine,â he said softly.
âAlright,â she smiled. âAnd if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? Youâll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.â
âYouâll stay with me after all this?â
âAs long as you let me,â she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. âGo have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?â
His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings werenât one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.
â
She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.
âShould we tell him?â Mike nudged Jerry.
âWhat?â Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.
âShaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,â she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.
âHow?â
âAfter they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,â Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. âHe won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.â
âThank you,â he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. âI need to call my team about the case.â
That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didnât care. They just couldnât be in her office for this.
Spencer looked a little pissed off. âI didnât ask them to do that,â she said, defensively.
âIâm not mad at you,â he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. âYouâre the only person I can trust in here.â
She placed her hand on his chest softly, âcall Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.â She handed him her cell phone, âFaceTime them if you want. See their faces, itâll be okay.â
He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.
âIâll be back soon, okay?â
âOkay,â he smiled. Taking her phone, âhow do I?â
She couldnât help laughing, âhere,â she dialled Penelopeâs cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.
Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. âHey! Oh my god, hold on,â they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.
Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him sheâs never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.
âGuys! Itâs Spencer!â She yelled as she ran into another room.
âWhatâs wrong?â âIs he okay?â
Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. âHi!â He waved to them.
âSpence!â Emily and JJ cheered, âoh you look so good.â
âI feel good, how are you all?â He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.
She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.
â
She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he getâs cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.
She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldnât be disturbed.
When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. âHey,â he said softly.
âHow are you?â She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.
âItâs going to hit soon,â he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.
She didnât want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.
He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria heâs feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.
Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.
Sheâs uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.
He was like that for at least an hour.
She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. âYou okay, honey?â
âY-yeah,â he tried to speak through the shaking. âC-can we cuddle?â
âYeah,â she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.
She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.
âIâm not that high anymore,â he says softly.
âI know, itâs okay if you are. Iâm not going anywhere tonight.â
âI love you,â he whispers.
It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so sheâd know it wasnât a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.
He felt it too.
She swallowed the lump in her throat, âsit up.â She instructs him softly.
She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.
âSorry,â he whispered against the crook of her neck.
âItâs okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.â She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. âBut youâre still an inmate in my care, I canât. Not yet.â
âYou donât have to,â he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. âIâm going to love you regardless.â
She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.
Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.
Chapter 7
Thereâs someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesnât stop until she opens the door.
âWhat?â She yells at them.
Itâs Officer Wilkins. âWhere is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.â
âNo one is scheduled to see him today?â
âThere is now. Where is he?â The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.
âCare ward. Iâll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,â she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.
âHeâs not worth dying over,â he whispers under his breath.
She doesnât leave Reidâs side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldnât see her. He just knew she would be there.
âMom?â Spencerâs shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.
A dark-haired woman sheâs never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.
Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Dianaâs nurse. Someone I donât know just brought Diana to the prison.
She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.
âIâm sorry,â the familiar voice says from her doorway.
She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.
âYou donât have to do this,â she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.
âI have to,â his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.
She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didnât want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.
She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.
She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, âLeo!! Help!â She screamed down the hall.
She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. âSugar??â Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.
âWatch him,â she insisted once the cuffs were on him. âHurt him if you have to.â
She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.
She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, âstop struggling, who the fuck are you?â
âGet off me!â She screamed in return.
Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.
âWhat is going on?â Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldnât help.
âWilkins just attacked me, Diana wasnât supposed to be here,â she said over her shoulder in Spencerâs direction. âSo Iâll ask again,â she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. âWho, the fuck! Are you?â
âHe knows me,â she spat out.
Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. âWho is she?â
âShe told me Cassie was fired, sheâs been with me all morning?â Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.
âI sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,â Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.
â
The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.
Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.
Diana sat at Spencerâs desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.
âI'm sorry,â he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.
She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasnât for Derek and her training.
She wants to kiss him, she can tell heâs looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure sheâs not looking before he leans in a little closer.
Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on herâs as they did so. Itâs the most tender kiss sheâs ever had, âIâm okay Spence,â she said softly as he pulled back.
âIâm still sorry you were dragged into this,â holding her against his chest softly.
From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.
Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.
When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didnât ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That sheâd learn from it and then she wouldnât be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.
She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.
She couldnât wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.
â
Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug sheâs ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.
He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didnât cry, âtheyâre dropping the charges.â
âYouâre kidding?â
âNope,â Derek shakes his head adding, âYouâre free.â Expecting Spencer to hug him again.
Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. Sheâs startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencerâs hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.
She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.
Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.
He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. âYou did it, Spence,â she smiles at him.
âWe did it.â
She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they donât pull apart, Spencerâs hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.
âI quit,â Y/N said before he could say anything to her, âand I might sue.â
âIâm suing for sure,â Spencer added.
âWeâre terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, Iâll never be able to make it up to you. Iâm incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,â the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.
âToo late for that,â Emily added. Stepping into the room more. âDoctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.â
âUnderstood,â the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.
Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.
Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. âThank you, you have no idea what he means to us.â
âI think I do,â she laughed against her. âIf thatâs not weird?â
âNot at all,â she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. âYou two are good together.â
She smiled, âthanks Em.â
âWe need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?â Emily asked.
âOf course, Iâm just going to be packing up some things anyway,â she said as she turned to Spencer. âHave fun with your friends, honey.â
âThanks, sugar,â he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.
They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.
âThank you, Y/N,â Dianaâs small voice came from Spencerâs desk.
âOh, Diana,â she smiled. âCan I give you a hug?â
Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencerâs hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.
âHe means the world to me too,â she says softly as Diana pulls away.
âYou saved him, if he didnât have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,â Diana patted her shoulder. âThank you.â
âThank you for making him,â she laughed slightly. âHeâs a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.â
Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe sheâd love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.
Chapter 8
There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.
Learning the entire plot of some womenâs revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasnât there.
Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.
He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencerâs apartment was a crime scene.
Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencerâs apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.
She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.
She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, sheâd have to go back to Vermont to pack, and sheâd have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.
She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.
Then she was crying softly.
âHey,â Emily rubbed her back softly. âShhh, itâs okay, whatâs wrong Y/N?â
She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. âIâm stressed?â She answered, not even really sure herself.
Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. âI get it, believe me.â
She remembered Derek saying she âdiedâ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.
She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsubâs.
And most definitely Y/N.
There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? Sheâd never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.
âHow can we help?â Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.
âI need a new job,â she laughed. âCan Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?â
âAre you moving back to Virginia?â She smiled at the thought.
âYeah,â Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. âIâm kind of attached to Spencer now.â
âGood, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that heâs fixing up?â Emily threw out ideas. âYouâll get the ball rolling soon, itâll all be fine.â
âThank you,â she said softly. âFor not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.â
Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.
âLetâs go see Penelope,â Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.
The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.
Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.
âHey,â Penelope cheered as she noticed them.
âI was just going to ask for some help with something, I see youâre busy,â Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.
âOh, weâre not,â Diana said. âI was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?â
âIâd love to, um while Iâm here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?â She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.
âOf course, what are we looking for?â She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.
âUm, anyone hiring a GP close to here, Iâm willing to go all the way to DC for work,â she explained. âI just want a place where I won't get punched again,â she tried to laugh at the trauma.
âThe sanatarium is hiring, theyâve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, theyâre looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,â Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.
âThat would be nice,â she smiled towards Diana. âDid you like the one you were at?â
âOh yes,â Diana mused. âI had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.â She laughed at herself.
âI send the link to you,â Penelope smiled. âNow let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, heâs so funny,â she leaned back in close to Diana.
All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.
She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.
âAre you okay?â She asked softly.
Y/N laughed, âyeah I just miss my mom.â She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.
âWhere is she?â An innocent question opening the floodgates.
âShe had cancer,â Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.
âShe died when I was 26,â she explained.
âIâm so sorry, sweetheart,â Diana placed her hand on Y/Nâs back as she rubbed her softly. âDo you have any other family?â
âMy moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,â Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.
âSpencer never had a father either,â Diana related to her. âAfter William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. Heâs always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. Youâre probably the best person he could be with, he doesnât have to take care of you.â
âCause I baby him,â she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. âHeâs pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.â
She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Dianaâs face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.
âYouâre welcome to join,â Diana offered softly. âIâve always wanted a daughter.â
âWhy didnât you?â She asked softly.
âWhy have more when you can stop at perfection,â she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.
âThat he is,â she agreed. âThank you for him.â
âThank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,â Dianaâs serious look making Y/N cry again.
âI know,â she cried. âAnd Iâd do it again.â
In a heartbeat.
â
Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.
Rossiâs property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.
Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.
She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencerâs arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.
He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.
Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.
She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.
Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.
âI love you,â her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time sheâs said it to him.
Spencer kissed her neck softly, âI love you.â
She couldnât believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.
The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.
âDo you want to go watch the sun come up?â She asked softly.
âYeah,â he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.
They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossiâs house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.
The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldnât help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.
The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.
It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.
Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.
âIâm so happy,â she said softly. âYou make me so happy.â
He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.
When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.
âI donât know how I made it so long without you,â he finally speaks. âBut I never want to do it again.â
âMove in with me?â She replied without a second thought. âI need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.â
âI already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, itâs close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,â he filled her in on his plans. âWe just have to sign the lease.â
âWe?â She teased him.
âI love you,â he reminded her.
âGood,â she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. âBecause I love you, too.â
Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.
She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When heâd just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.
Chapter 9
They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.
Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.
And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didnât know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.
He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.
Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.
Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.
She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.
âIâm probably not getting my deposit back,â she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.
âI didnât know you went to Harvard?â He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.
âYeah, let me guess youâre a Yale guy?â She teased him.
He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. âCalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.â
âMine too,â she smiled.
Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, âwhat should I do?â
âPick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.â
âOkay,â he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.
They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.
Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.
She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.
âWho knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,â she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.
He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. âSpencer, itâs fine.â
âAre you sure?â He asks as he turns back to look at her.
She nods softly, âdo you want to shower with me?â
Heâs speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, âyeah, yes sure.â
She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like heâs not allowed to move.
âYou donât have to if you donât want to,â she reminded him. âGo as slow as you want.â
âI want to join you, but just to clean,â he made his decision.
âAlright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,â she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.
She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldnât have been as nerve-racking as it was.
She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.
Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didnât know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.
âYou have to pull the thingy up,â she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. âIt might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.â
He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.
She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, âhi,â she whispered through her smile.
He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.
He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.
âSorry,â she pulled her hand back.
âItâs okay,â he laughed slightly. âHere,â he reached behind her for the bar of soap, âif you want to touch me while I wash my hair?â
âYeah,â she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.
They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.
She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.
He was beautiful and soft. He wasnât big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.
Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.
He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldnât go in his eye.
âThanks,â he smiled.
âSwitch?â She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.
The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.
He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.
âYour turn?â He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. âCan I?â
âOf course,â she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.
He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, âum,â he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.
She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, ârub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them itâs easier.â
He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.
She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.
Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.
The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, âturn around?â He asked softly.
âYeah,â she replied, turning to face the wall.
He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.
She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.
She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. âPass me the gold shampoo bottle?â
âY-yeah,â he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.
She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. âThey say if you lather it up itâll apply easier,â she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.
Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencerâs personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didnât make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.
When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.
Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.
He was beautiful like this, just himself.
âAre we ever going to be like a real couple?â He asked softly.
âWhat do you mean?â
He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, âI would like to be with you, more than this, but-â
âYou mean sex?â She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.
âYeah, I just donât know how Iâll react,â he admitted.
âHoney,â she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. âSex doesnât make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I donât mind waiting.â
âHow do you mean?â
She smirked at him, âhave you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?â
He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, âno, have you?â
âNo,â she whispered. âBut itâs a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.â
âOkay,â he agreed.
She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.
â
They dried off, getting into their pjâs before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.
âDid you still want to?â Spencer cut into the moment.
It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. âCome on,â she took his hand, helping him to his feet.
She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.
She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.
Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.
âHow did you want to start?â She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.
âCan we just kiss for a while?â
âAbsolutely,â she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.
She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didnât get enough in the shower.
She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. âI think I can do it,â he said softly.
âNo,â she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. âI donât want to hear I think. Itâs a yes or itâs a no.â
âOkay,â he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.
He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.
She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. âIâm starting without you,â she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.
He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.
She didnât move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.
She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.
âI want to touch you,â he rushed the words out.
âOkay.â
He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.
âYeah, like that,â she encouraged him.
âW-would you?â
âFinish the sentence,â she instructed him. âTell me exactly what you want.â
âStroke me, I want it. Yes.â
She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. âOh,â she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.
He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.
He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.
âItâs okay honey,â she whispered in his ear.
Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. âIs this okay?â She asked.
He nodded, âyes,â biting his lip so he didnât explode right then and there.
He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.
She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.
âFuck,â he gasped. âC-an I?â
âCum baby,â she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, âfuck, I love you,â leaving her mouth.
Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.
She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.
âShhh,â she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. âI love you, honey, itâs okay. Iâm here for you.â
She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. âI love you so much Spencer,â she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.
His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.
Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadnât taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.
âIâm sorry,â she whispered finally.
âMe too,â he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.
Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. âIâm so sorry,â she emphasized, âare you okay?â
âIâm wonderful,â he laughed at the absurdity. âIâm crying because I love you so much.â
âReally?â She laughed too.
He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. âI want to touch you but,â she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. âCan we pause for one sec?â She couldnât stop smiling.
The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.
Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.
Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.
âTell me what youâre feeling?â She whispered.
âIâm happy, you saved my life and I canât believe I get to do this with you,â he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.
âYouâre the best person Iâve ever known, Spencer,â she reassured him.
âWhy?â He asked softly. ânot in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You havenât really told me, Iâve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.â
âIâm sorry,â she whispered as she bumped their noses together. âI donât normally talk to people, even with Derek Iâm really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when youâre free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.â
She didnât want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.
âIt got worse,â she laughed slightly. âI realized that now that youâre free you donât have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.â
âNever,â he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. âIâm never leaving you, youâre going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.â
She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. âOkay,â her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.
âI love you,â Spencer whispered. âYouâre brave and kind, incredibly smart. Youâre willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, youâre the only person I want to talk to every day.â
âI was going to say that about you,â she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.
She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, âI have never loved anyone like this.â
âMe either,â he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. âNot even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.â
âAnd your mom,â she smiled. âShe actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. Itâs nice to have a mom again.â
That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mammaâs boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.
She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.
âI was so scared,â is all Spencer says.
âI can imagine.â
âNo, I mean about my mom,â he corrects her softly. âI thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.
âShe was going to forget me,â echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.
âI applied to work at the sanatarium,â is how she answers. âThey needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know sheâll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.â
âI love you.â
She laughs, kissing his neck softly. âSheâll be okay, weâll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe weâll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.â
Itâs a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.
âYouâre too good to me.â
âI try,â she smiled. âYouâre pretty fantastic yourself, I didnât just fall in love with your pretty face, sure youâre helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of whatâs in here,â she ran her hand over his chest.
He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.
The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.
a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done
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We say we're friends, we play pretend (1/2)
Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem reader
Summary: Charlie and Y/N were best friends and a couple as teens, after their breakup they meet again 4 years later on the bootcamp of JATP and have to work together. Will something else happen or they are just friends?
Charlie must have imagined something like this could happen. Since Kenny discovered her 5 years ago, she has been a really close friend to the director, participating in some way or another in almost all his projects.
In front of him after years, Y/N Y/L, his childhood best friend and ex-girlfriend. The young actor is not going to admit that he saw every single one of her projects or how moved he was by her in each one of them, many times even thinking of maybe sending her a little message saying the incredible job she did.
But he never found the courage.
Itâs weird to remember how he spent most of his life next to the woman, now one of the top youth artists with multiple musicals and movies on her hits list. They always had a strong bond, every single day together. Sleepovers, music classes, dancing classes, homework, parties, movie nights, hockey, illness days, pretty much everything. At the age of 15 they began a very sweet and innocent relationship that ended at 18 when Y/N moved to New York to work in her first leading role.
The break up was on good terms but painful, so painful that both preferred to lose contact completely than to have the other from time to time opening the wound again and again.
And there she was. As beautifil as ever, speaking happily with Kenny while Madison and Owen jump up and down, Jeremy smiles and Charlie looks like he wants to throw up.
âY/N Y/L, my golden star. She is the official composer of the soundtrack, and she will be supporting you throughout the album process as well as helping Paul and me in other creative aspects, I know she is the same age as some of you but she has a lot of experience in this and all the necessary preparation so don't hesitate to get all the knowledge you can out of her."
Everyone introduces themselves until the guitarist is the only one left, luckily for him, heâs in voice rest these two weeks so he literally cannot speak.
They both look nervous but the moment their eyes meet their complicity comes out and both smile slightly.
âHeâs Charlie, he is in voice rest but we are fans of yours. We cried yesterday watching your last musical, it was just brilliant." Owen lets out hardly breathing, Y/N turns with a smile to see the Canadian boy who wants to kill his friend and then commit suicide.
âThank you! This is going to be such an interesting experience.â The singer murmurs as she winks at Charlie.
2 hours later they had both been avoiding each other, Y/N writing in a corner while the band and Kenny discuss costumes with Soyon, in which at least half an hour has been wasted trying to understand what Charlie is trying to say with the few words he writes with an apple pencil on his ipad in his horrible handwritting.
Y/N gets frustrated and goes to where they are, approaching behind Charlie's shoulder to see the iPad. She quickly identifies the two words, one so crossed out that it looks like a doodle, but years copying each other's homework pays off.
"He's trying to say that if Luke isn't going to wear bandanas, at least consider wearing beanies." The young woman says as she leans on the shoulder of who was her first love.
Charlie freezes at their proximity, blushing a little at the feeling of being close after so long. Luckily his castmates don't realize it because all their attention is on her.
âYou are just good for everything huh? Even deciphering hieroglyphs." Owen comments, smiling at her and winking exaggeratedly to make her laugh.
Charlie can't help but feel insecure with the situation. It could be a friendly thing but If Owen really tries to flirt with her, he doesn't know how he would react. Is sad enough not having her in his life anymore, having her as his best friend's girlfriend would just be too painful.
Now, he knows heâs exaggerating, and a lot. But he has to do something about it. Better safe than sorry.
He stretches his neck to meet the eyes of his ex-girlfriend, who is now only inches away. She quickly gets flustered, but hides it pretty well. The problem is that he knows every gesture perfectly and sees through her mask.
âWh- What, Gillespie?â She manages to say, Charlie canât help a smile seeing the way she still reacts towards him.
When you know a person completely, every facet, every gesture, every peculiarity, speaking without words is as natural as breathing. And they had both forgotten how amazing it feels to have someone in your life who is this compatible and magnetic.
They start a conversation, she answers to who secretly still believes as her person while he continues making gestures and mimics that no one else understands, writing a word from time to time to make the talk flow better.
"I know. Hey, it's not my fault! So you excuse yourself with the âcan't talkâ thing huh? how convenient. Yeah, Ok, I will. I said I will!" Her words are the only thing that they manage to get out of the conversation that the secret ex-couple is having, since no matter how much attention they pay to him, they have no idea how Y/N manages to decipher it.
"I have no idea what's going on but I'll take it as a miracle, I was just going to suggest ignoring Charlie these 2 weeks." Jeremy jokes, everyone nods their heads.
âI mean, itâs still a good option.â Madison replies.
The 14 days go by quickly, and with the former couple spending time together daily, rehearsing Charlie's guitar solos together, with Y/N translating his horrible scribbles, or sometimes simply being close to each other enjoying the company, absentmindedly placing their hand on the other's leg or their forehead on their shoulder for a few seconds during the breaks.
Basically the whole team has noticed the flirtatious smiles and the looks, but Charlie was the weakest rival of both and the one who could release some information about it, and without being able to speak they basically ran out of an informant, since the young singer didnât let go a word about her unexpected chemistry with the guitarist except the typical âwe are just good friendsâ.
But without a doubt the energies began to multiply on Monday when Charlie arrived with the green light to be able to speak and start singing in rehearsals. Madison couldn't attend the first few hours because she was at school, so Y/N was going to cover her so the boys could practice.
âThe first on the list is Finally Free, the place where we are going to record it only gave us two weeks from now so it will have to be one of the priorities. For the first rehearsal just vibe with the song and weâll discover where to go from there. Oh, and good luck keeping up with my golden star, youâll need it."
Y/N starts the first verse on the keyboard, and gets up to sing the chorus in the center, trying to ignore Charlie and looking up at Jeremy. She hadnât heard him sing for a couple of years, but the same butterflies appear in her stomach and she knows that she will melt if she looks into his eyes.
Unfortunately for her, Kenny doesn't have the same plan, and just before the second verse ends he tells her to walk over to Charlie, who immediately smiles and sings the pre-chorus with much more enthusiasm. The energy they radiate floods the place, both getting closer and closer. By the time the bridge arrives, their foreheads are practically against each other, their lips only an inch apart, and with a confidence and comfort while singing to each other that makes all those who suspected that there was something between them now practically sure.
Luckily there are only Jeremy, Kenny, Owen and Paul in the room, who decide to play a game of divide and conquer now that the snitch part of the equation can speak.
âY/N, can you come with me for a moment? I have a new idea for âWowâ and a fresh pair of eyes is just what I need.â Paul says, sacrificing himself for the greater good.
âYeah, of course, Iâll be right back.â The singer takes the opportunity to leave this staring game with Charlie and quickly walks away from the guitarist, who winks at her in a flirting way in response.
The moment they walk out the door, everyone turns to see Charlie, who has no idea what they're up to.
âWhat?â
"After what just happened you just can't keep pretending nothing's happening. Man, that was more intense than the whole Troyella moments during all three movies." Kenny pretends to be offended for a second and then nods.
"I have never seen anything like this in all my years of career."
âYeah dude it was electric.â Owen replies, smirking.
âSheâs my person.â Charlie mumbles.
If heâs being honest with himself, deep down he always knew she was the only one for him. But that realization was freaking scary. What's next if the only person for you has already turned the page? gave up without a fight? what's left?
"What?" The three ask in unison, and Charles begins to sing like a bird.
âWe grew up together and then we lost the way. Like in those romantic movies where just everyone knows they belong together except the childhood best friends and then they end up ruining their lives by being in denial.â
âFrom what I saw getting back on track shouldn't be too difficult, Charlie. I assure you that whatever you feel she feels it too. Her eyes donât lie." Jeremy tries to reason with him.
âLeave your teen problems behind. You are old enough to decide what you want and find a way to make it work. But you have to stop pretending that nothing is happening first." Owen scolds his friend.
âDo you love her?â Jer asks.
âThat answer is always going to be yes, I just could never stop loving her even If I tried. And I did.â He really did. The surprise he got when the second he had her close to him his heart began to beat like crazy and all he wanted was to hug her and fix everything. It was as if when seeing her eyes time hadnât passed, as if only the day before theyâd been goofing around together. That bond is so big that he doesnât believe itâs possible to break.
âThen do something about it, bro! Go get your girl back!â Jeremy advises while Kenny smiles.
âYeah man, itâs âNow or neverâ like her song, and I guess ours too now? Since she wrote it for Sunset Curve? Well, anyway, itâs like our song says.â Owen exclaims excitedly.
âOhhh, musical inspiration, let me try. âGet up, get out, relight that sparkâ.â Jeremy sings to Charlie.
âJer, you are a genius. If you think about it wake up is actually a pretty good soundtrack song for this situation. âIt's not what you lost, It's what you'll gain raising your voice in the rainâ.â
They both keep singing the song until they reach the bridge, Charlie tries to look frustrated but a slight smile escapes his face.
They are right, he still hasn't lost this fight.
đťPART 2 RIGHT HERE
#jatp fanfic#jatp imagine#jatp fanfiction#charlie gillespie imagine#charlie gillespie x reader#charlie gillespie one shot#jatp luke#luke patterson fic#luke patterson x reader
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Washing Machine Heart Part 1. (Erik Killmonger x OC)
This is unedited so please have mercy on me in the notes đ
Nahla knew she didnât mean a thing to him. Next to being a mercenary, Erik was a player. He came and went as he pleased, spent his nights with more than one woman, and didnât feel a single shred of regret whenever his girls would pour out their hearts to him.Â
Nahla knew she didnât mean a single thing to him, yet she still somehow fell in love.Â
It was a painful realization. One that she came to during one of Erikâs many long term absences. It was another sleepless night for her and she was sitting in bed with her laptop open to her right and her keyboard directly in front of her. For the past week, the same melody had been on loop inside her head. A broken tune that conveyed so much sorrow that it nearly brought her to tears whenever she hummed it. Each day after she got home from work, she would add onto the melody bit by bit, putting in different instruments and sounds to create a beautiful symphony.Â
When it came time to write lyrics for the song, all she could envision was a tune about unrequited love. The same unrequited love that she had been feeling for a while.Â
It wasnât until she put a name to that feeling when she finally realized how she truly felt about Erik.Â
She decided to try and keep things suppressed for a while, hoping that her childish feelings of romance would disappear after a few days.Â
They didnât.Â
When Erik returned a few weeks later, she didnât, know how to act. The man made it known that he was not committed to anybody, and Nahla was no exception. On the rare occasion Nahla would catch a glimpse of him on social media, she would see him surrounded by women who looked as if they could be models. Women who were leagues ahead of her. The photos never failed to resurrect her insecurities. They made her question why Erik even bothered to give her the time of day. Yet those insecurities melted away whenever he came to visit her.Â
Flash forward to the present, and Nahla found herself laying next to Erikâs naked frame in her bed. The faint sound of her washing machine echoed throughout the house, giving a sort of rhythmic banging as her shoes tussled around inside. The night was still fairly young, having only been a few minutes past seven, but all of the plans that Nahla had for that evening were discarded the moment Erik showed up on her doorstep.Â
It didnât take much for his words to lull her into bed and for his lips on hers to enrapture her. His low, smooth voice was like music to her ears, and her moans being music to his. Each praise that left his lips was like a toxic lullaby. Nahla knew that he had repeated the same words to dozens of women in the past, yet in the moment, they made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world.Â
âYou feel so good around me babyâŚâ
âYou donât know how much I missed this pussy.â
âSay my name so everybody know whoâs fuckinâ you right.âÂ
Thinking back to his words sent shivers down her spine. She was wide awake, restless and too excited to fall asleep. It was rare for Erik to stay after having sex, let alone fall asleep before her, but her inner turmoil prevented her from falling asleep.Â
She turned back to look over at Erik, taking in every aspect of his being as if it were the last time she would see him again. No matter how many times she laid eyes on him, she would never be able to find the words to describe how beautiful he was. He had a smile that could light up a room and warm eyes that made her heart flutter each time she looked into them. It often left her wondering why exactly he even entertained the thought of her when he was way out of her league.Â
A heavy sigh left Nahlaâs lips and she threw the covers off the lower half of her body. She looked back at Erik one last time while putting on her robe, making sure that he stayed asleep. Slowly and quietly, she crept out of the room and down the hall to her makeshift studio, closing the door behind her and turning on the lights. She used her studio as an escape from both the real world and her own mind, and right then she needed an escape from both. Turning on her equipment and opening up her laptop, she opened up the file that held her latest project. The one that helped her come to her realization in the first place. She made sure the speakers were low as to not wake Erik up and pressed play, listening to her voice blend with the gentle melody.Â
She had only written a few lines so far and could feel the next verse just on the tip of her tongue, but lyricism had never really been her strong suit. Muttering random words under her breath, she opened up the notes section on GarageBand and began writing down whatever sounded nice, replacing and adding words where she deemed fit.Â
âMight as well give it a go,â she sighed, getting up from her chair and walking over to the small corner where her mic and the rest of her recording equipment was set up. She pressed record on an empty track and began singing the second verse, her voice coming out soft and almost broken in contrast to her usual strong, belty tone. She was tired, both physically and emotionally, but she couldnât walk back to that room. Not with him still laying asleep in her bed as if the two of them were a couple.Â
After a few more takes, she had finally gotten her voice warmed up enough to where it didnât sound completely like shit and she walked over to her work station to edit the track on top the music.Â
With her mind now completely engulfed in her music, she didnât noticed the sound of her toilet flushing or her bathroom sink running down the hall. She didnât notice the sound of footsteps leading to her studio and her door opening slightly.Â
It wasnât until the feeling of a hand snaking its way around her neck drew her from her work as she jumped in her seat while clutching her chest in panic.
âWhatchu scared for? Itâs just me,â Erik muttered, his voice still laced with drowsiness. âWhat are you doing up? Any other day youâd be knocked out.â His fingers gently squeezed at her neck and he leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of her head. It was weirdly intimate of him.
âI couldnât sleep so I decided to work on something.â Nahla spun her seat around to face him. He had on a pair of low hanging shorts. She recognized them as being one of the pairs she bought for him whenever he decided to stay over. She mentally scoffed at the thought; buying clothes for a man who she wasnât even in a relationship with.Â
âYouâre not leaving?â She asked. It had just dawned on her that, miraculously, Erik was still there.Â
âNah. I havenât seen you in a while so I figured Iâd stay for a little bit.âÂ
The sentiment made her heart flutter but she quickly grounded herself back to reality. She couldnât afford to get her hopes up.Â
âSo, what are you working on?â He asked, his arms folded across his chest as he looked past her and at the open editing software on her computer.Â
âOh. Well I had a melody that was stuck in my head for a while so I put it down and write lyrics. I lowkey wanna find a mini orchestra to record it though.âÂ
âWell can I hear it?â He suggested.Â
Nahlaâs eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. Despite knowing each other for the better part of two years now, this was the most he had ever expressed genuine interest in her music.Â
âU-Uhh, Iâm not sure⌠I get really sensitive about my stuff. Plus itâs not what youâd expect it to be,â she said, swirling her chair back around to face her work station as she hesitantly placed her hand on the mouse and moved the cursor over the âplayâ button. After taking a deep breath, she played the song and closed her eyes as she waited for it to be over. Throughout the entirety of what little she had to play, Erik was silent, giving no response, comment, or critiques. When it was over, she reluctantly turned around to face him.Â
âSo? What do you think?â
âYeah, I can definitely hear an orchestra going behind that. Maybe start off with piano first, then bring in strings or some shit during the hook,â he suggested, walking over to the other chair in the corner of her studio and sitting down.Â
âOkay. Thanks.â
For about an hour or two, the two of them stayed up in her studio talking about random things while sharing a blunt together. They eventually migrated back to the bedroom and made their way beneath the covers together, Nahlaâs body molding perfectly into Erikâs as they cuddled.Â
âNah, Iâm deadass. I thought I had locked his cage, but he always finds a way to get out,â Nahla giggled, referring to her pet chameleon who always managed to get out of his cage. âI remember a few day ago I had just woken up and went into the kitchen to get some juice and I see him inside the sink just sitting there. Then he have the nerve to look up at me like âwhat are you doing here?â No sir, what are you doing here.âÂ
Erik laughed softly while shaking his head. âNah, I donât think I could handle an animal just freely roaming my shit like that.â
âYou get used to it after a while. I was low-key thinking about getting a snake too, but I gotta figure out where to put the tank.â
âOh hell nah. If you get a snake, Iâm not coming by anymore.â
âWhat?! You used to be a whole Navy Seal and youâre scared of snakes, E?â She asked, a bit surprised that he even shared that information with her.Â
âGirl, I donât know how you can even stand them things,â he mumbled, âslithering around and shit. What if it gets out when youâre sleep and starts choking you?â
âThen weâll cross that bridge when we get to it,â she giggled, earning an eye roll from Erik.Â
Though it didnât seem possible, she pressed herself against Erik even harder, somehow managing to get even closer to him. Resting her head in the crook of his neck, she had a perfect view of the many scars and keloids that littered his body. She could tell some of them are new. Whether or not they were accidental or self inflicted, she didnât want to know.Â
It was times like these where Nahla wished that her outlandish fantasies of romance werenât fantasies at all. Having never been in a real relationship before, she constantly longed to be loved by someone in a romantic sense. Though she knew that Erik probably never thought of her as more than a fuck buddy, it was nice to feel his warmth underneath her. Even if it was an illusion, it was nice to imagine him as her lover while he was holding her close.Â
âWhatâs on your mind?â He pried, letting out a deep sigh before closing his eyes and relaxing his muscles.Â
âWhere do you go when you disappear?â She partially lied. Even though that wasnât what truly was on her mind, it was still a question that lingered over her head for a while.Â
âThat, I canât tell you ma. At least not right now.âÂ
She wasnât satisfied with how curt his reply was. Sitting up, she supported her head with her hand, her elbow buried into the pillow beside his head as she peered down at him.Â
âYou can tell me,â she pried. A childish grin spread across her face. âIf itâs something illegal I promise I wonât tell.â
Erik peaked one up up at her, a smile of his own taking over his featured. He pushed his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. âMm⌠Maybe I could tell you a little bit. I donât even know where to begin though without you thinkinâ Iâm crazy.â
âI wonât think youâre crazy.â
âYou say that now.â There was a pregnant pause, and then, in the most serious tone ever, he said, âIâm apart of African royalty.â
âSo thereâs this country in Africa called Wakanda. At first glance, it seems like a small lil third world country, but in reality, theyâre the most advanced civilization on the planet. They got this metal called Vibranium that allows them to all sorts of things, but they keep it hidden from the rest of the world.â
âHow? And if they kept it hidden from the world, then how do you know about it?â
âThey have a dome that surrounds the entire country. Itâs practically impenetrable. And the only reason I know is because my father was the prince. He was sent here on an undercover mission in America but quickly saw how shitty thing were here, so he wanted to change it. â
âWait, your father is the prince of an African country?â Nahla couldnât believe her ears. Despite being secretive and mysterious, she knew that Erik wasnât one to lie. After all, what could he possibly gain from lying about something as far fetched as this? Â
âWas. He was killed before he could enact any change; by his own brother no less.â
She could hear a pain and vulnerability in his voice that sheâd never heard before. Now she definitely knew that he wasnât lying.Â
Erikâs face had turned to the side in a fruitless attempt to hide the tears that welled up in his eyes. Heâd never brought up his family or much of his life before he met her in a conversation, and now she could see why.Â
Hesitantly, Nahla reached up to wipe away the tears that left his eyes. âSo you plan on going back and getting revenge?â She pondered. It would make sense why heâd want to stay under the radar, having no social media accounts, no permanent phone number, and constantly disappearing for months at a time. If he wanted to infiltrate an entire hidden country, then heâd have to be the closest thing to a ghost a person could be.Â
âItâs on the list,â he replied, sitting up in bed while resting back against the headboard. âBut, my main goal is to change the world. Wakanda has technology and weapons that people canât even begin fathom. If our people were able to get their hands on that kind of fire power, we wouldnât have to worry about the White man oppressing us any longer.âÂ
The sadness that was once present in his eyes had long disappeared, instead being replaced with a burning passion. It filled her with joy to see him get passionate about something, but it also put her on edge. Nahla knew what his plan implied, and she didnât put it past him to sacrifice countless lives in order to see his vision come to life.
Staying silent, she simply nodded, too afraid that sheâd say the wrong thing if she opened her mouth. Tearing her gaze away from the man, she began contemplating on everything she had been thinking about prior to his arrival. Her feelings for him were still unwavering, but now she was starting to ponder on whether or not being with him was a wise decision. It didnât take being a genius to know that Erikâs path was a set one. He was a determined, goal-driven man, and when his mind was made up, there was no convincing him to go back on his decision.Â
If she followed him down that path, she wouldnât be able to turn back.Â
âDo I scare you?âÂ
Nahla looked back up only to be met with obsidian eyes boring straight into her deep brown ones. His question threw her for a loop, no doubt, considering how Erik was never one to be considerate of other peopleâs feelings.Â
âH-Huh? What do you mean?â She knew exactly what he meant.Â
âThat look in your eyes⌠Youâre scared of something. What is it?â He demanded in an eerily calm manner.Â
Attempting to spare his feelings would be a futile decision; Erik read people like his favorite novel. Yet, for some reason, Nahla had no control over the words that left her mouth.Â
She almost never did when she was around him.Â
âNothing. I just get a bit spooked in the dark,â she chuckled.Â
Erik simply blinked at her, a look of uncertainty and doubt dancing around in his eye before he shrugged it off and laid back down in the bed, facing her completely.Â
âYou should get some rest. Goodnight,â he said softly, his eyes never leaving her.Â
Upon hearing his words, Nahla felt an immense tiredness wash over her as if he casted a sleeping spell over her. She glanced over at the clock and noticed how it was nearly 4 AM. She had only three hours before she needed to get up and get ready for work.Â
She was tired, but fear kept plaguing her mind. A fear that he wouldnât be there when she woke up. Or, even worse, a fear that she had dreamt the entire night.Â
âDonât worry. Iâll be here when you wake up,â he whispered.Â
Nahla wanted to believe him, so she did, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.Â
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âđđđ đđđđđ đđđđ đđđ đđđ đđđđ;
âPART XVIII. | THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
pairing: john wick x f!reader x santino dâantonio
word count: 36.2k+ (honk, honk, honk x 2)
summary: âYouâre just a little tragedy, arenât you?â
warnings: swearing, strong violence, blood, likely some emotional damage to readers inbound
notes: I waited for this chapter for a very, very long time and been laying the foundation for 250k. Lets begin.Â
children of ares series: 01 | âŚ. | 16 | 17 | . . | 19 |
Sometimes he genuinely wonders how many poor decisions led him here.
To this exact moment in time. To this exact set of circumstances.
âI wish to see him.â
Winston tilts his head at the cool demand, not letting any outwards reaction slip.
The Adjudicator stares him down like the request should have been fulfilled yesterday. Heâs not, admittedly, used to people making such demands. Especially not so brazenly. And inside his own hotel no less.
He gazes at them for a beat before nodding his head stagily.
âForgive me and my old age,â he begins calmly. âBut who exactly do you wish to see? The chef perhaps?â
He knows perfectly well who the Adjudicator wants to see. Judging by the slight, annoyed pinch of their mouth so do they. Charon stands a step behind the High Tableâs associate and his expression is as professionally cool as always. In truth, however, they are both wary at best.
âYou know of whom I speak,â the Adjudicator snips, their voice that calm, almost robotic cold. âSantino DâAntonio was shot at this hotel, was he not? Mr Wick fired the shot but the bullet failed to kill him. To our knowledge, he is still in your care. Or is that incorrect?â
Keep him safe.
Such a simple request. A request to keep a man he barely tolerates on a good day shielded from other sharks. For once, Winston wishes you cared about yourself as much as you do about others. Â
You, Santino, Johnâyouâre all I have. I canât lose anyone else. I canât.
Sometimesâoftenâthe memory of those words worries him. Truly. Wild, relentless drive and desperation rarely mix well together. The former you have plenty of and the latter has been mounting too rapidly for his liking.
Silencing his thoughts, Winston tilts his head in an accommodating manner. Conjuring an innocent expression, he nods his head for what feels like the hundredth time in the last hour alone.
âAh, yes, Mr DâAntonio. Tragic, truly, but the Vipress saved his life,â he explains smoothly, watching the individual before him with the same shrewdness the Adjudicator is watching him. âRather heroically, too. Quite surprising that the Table did not see her actions as such.â
The Adjudicatorâs eyes narrow. From their spot on the office chair, the Tableâs representative regards him with disinterested, yet vexed expression. Clearly, his approach of talking circles and giving half-answers about your and Johnathanâs whereabouts has not left a good impression.
Thatâs exactly the point though.
âThe woman known to us as the Vipress had plenty of chances to stop Mr Wick,â the Adjudicator answers; an expected explanation, a pitiless one, too. âShe failed. Even though she is one of the few individuals realistically capable of such a feat. Therefore, under our assessment, there is nothing here to celebrate.â
Winston turns, lowering his whiskey glass back onto the table. He leans back towards it, completely relaxed, his palms resting against the edges of the smooth wood.
âLoyalty,â he muses lightly, letting the word hang in the air for a bit. âSuch rarity nowadays, would you not agree? It is rather difficult to stay neutral when you have an emotional investment in both parties caught in the conflict.â
The Adjudicator stands at that, their willowy frame stretching to their full height. Little sympathy can be found in their stony expression. âOnly loyalty to the High Table should matter. The Vipress has shown to have very little of it. Now, Mr DâAntonio?â
He didnât expect this to be easy. But he doesnât let so much as a whisper of his exasperation show. Winston considers, calculating what harm could be done versus the gap of time it might buy him, hesitating for only a beat before dipping his head in agreement.
âOf course, follow me,â he says pleasantly, gesturing with his arm. âHe came out of surgery several days ago.â
Over the Adjudicatorâs shoulder, a faint glint of surprise shows on Charonâs face before the man blinks it away swiftly. The concierge knows better than to question outright. Old and tested loyalty lives between them. The manager always does things for a reason, and the concierge follows graciously every time because he knows as much.
The Adjudicator stalks after him silently, Charon a few steps behind them. The elevator ride down is silent and tense. No need for empty exchanges between them and neither party bothers pretending otherwise.
Only a day left on the clock. Then heâs expected to step back and leave his hotelâhis legacyâbehind to some stranger the Table deems worthy. The thought alone almost makes him scoff again.
The High Table can take the Continental from his cold, dead hands.
And he imagines there are at least one or two individuals who may have something to say about that.
You have contributed to the chaos, little hatchling, but what now? You canât win this game by sacrificing your Queen.
The elevator halts with a rumble. Worn metal creaks. Winston reaches out, pulling back the metal partition. The white hallways of the medical wing are silent and undisturbed by the bustle of the front foyer. Heaviness hangs in the air as he strolls down the long stretch of white, his shoes clicking against the spotless flooring. Charon and the Adjudicator are only several steps behind him but heâs in no hurry.
They round the corner and three heads turn in their direction.
The fourth doesnât move.
Here we go.
Camorraâs Elite Four sit like guard dogs of the most vicious variety at the end of the lengthy hallway. Behind them stands a door. Behind that door, Winston knows, Santino DâAntonio now lays, clinging to his life and healing. Hopefully. He couldnât care less about the Italian living or dying, but for your sake, he needs the arrogant man to pull through. Â
The closer they come, the tenser the air becomes.
The tallest and broadest of the guards is leaning against the wall but pushes away from it upon their approach, uncrossing his arms as he stops in their path. The first line of defence. Â
Anotherâthe sharpshooter, if Winston recalls correctlyârises a second behind that, lowering a gleaming pistol he was fiddling with. Eyes narrowed, distrustful.
The youngestâthe smiling nightmare, as youâve called him onceâdoesnât shift from his spot on the floor, a laptop in his lap. A pop of chewing gum fills the silence when he glances up lazily at the commotion over his round sunglasses.
And finally closest to the doorânearest to the Camorra boss, always the most vicious and final deterrentâstands the Devil of Camorra. He doesnât look at them. He almost appears thoughtful, playing with a lighter in his hand as he leans against the wall.
Click, click, click.
âCan we help you?â the tallest asks politely, his Italian accent faint but still noticeable.
The sharpshooter stands by his side, frowning faintly.
A polite, unspoken warning hangs in the air. The womanâDâAntonioâs bodyguard that youâve called a good friend on many occasionsâappears to be missing. Though Winston doubts sheâs far behind. Heâs seen her by the Italian side for almost as many years as heâs seen you.
The Adjudicator speaks before he can. âI wish to see the Camorra family head, and the new member of the High Table, Santino DâAntonio.â
âRespectfully, who are you supposed to be?â the sharpshooter demands, his dark eyes narrowing marginally.
Loyal. To a degree at least. Winston had been hopeful they would be. Heâs not surprised to see them standing guard, either. Heâs betting on them continuing doing so.
âAn Adjudicator,â the youngest quips from his spot on the floor, his fingers clicking across the keyboard. Another pop of gum follows. âSent to adjudicate this hotel, I bet. Bang, bangânot a good look for the sturdy, old table. Seccante.â
The Adjudicatorâs head slants; a calculating motion. âThe Chameleon of Camorra,â they state flatly, unimpressed. âFormer association with an organisation known as Slifer before Giovanni DâAntonio recruited you to Camorraâs ranks, correct?â
The young man in question drops his head back with a gleaming smile. The tattoos across his neck ripple with the gesture, and a gleam of white appears even brighter in the artificial light. Â
âOh yeah,â he drawls, amused. âPapi Giovanni welcomed me with open arms.â
There is clearly more to this tale. The implication is blatant even if the words are presented as a joke but Winston can still read it.
âYou canât see him.â
All eyes slide towards the Camorra Devil. His voice is gravelly, uncompromising, and he still doesnât bother looking at them. Part arrogance, Winston imagines, and part genuine disinterest with them and the situation. Â
âI have the rightââ
âWe have orders not to let anyone see Santino until heâs fit enough to take back command.â
At long last, the Devil turns towards them. The look in his icy eyes is a clear, if barely polite, warning. The man called Hector always had a reputation for being Giovanniâs most violent lapdog. Serving Camorra for years without a single falter. That level of loyalty is admittedly rare, especially when Winston knows others have tried to recruit the Devil in the past.
Hector, unlike you, has never been bound by a debt that kept him chained to Camorra. He stays because he wants to. If there are any other reasons for that loyalty, theyâre unknown to the manager.
Though Winston has never interacted with the leader of the Eliteâs, heâs heard plenty about him, and can understand why his name is spoken with trepidation. Despite it being subtle, the air around the man is still hostile. Brimming with a promise of violence.
âWhose orders?â the Adjudicator interrogates. âThe council of Camorraââ
Whatever card they were hoping to play gets crushed in seconds.
âOur current acting boss. The Vipress,â the Devil announces, sounding annoyed, and pockets his lighter before pushing away from the wall. Another pop of gum ripples from the youngest Elite. Hector prowls closer, deliberately slow, and walks past the other two members of the guard. The Devil halts in front of the Adjudicator, appearing utterly bored. âYou might be familiar with her. Stubborn, demanding, likes knives a little too much, starts shit wherever she goes. Santino named her his heir. No one is allowed to see him on her orders.â
Winston has to bite back a small smile. Perfect.
The Adjudicator stands completely still, their stare hard while they process the new information.
The manager hangs back, not saying a word, watching the silent face-off with vague amusement. He has to admit that at least the Devil doesnât lack nerve. The other three donât appear nearly as intimidated as they should be, either.
Adjudicators are feared for a reason. They have a vast reserve of power bestowed upon them by the highest tiers of the Table. Adjudicators stand even above Continental managers. Something Winston has been rather unpleasantly reminded of with Johnathanâs latest actions.
âThe will of the Table stands above the individual order of someone who has been made Excommunicado.â
Mild but icy. Clearly, the not-so-subtle defiance from the Devil of Camorra hasnât gone down well, either. Behind the tall man, the other two shift in their spots, tense. An exaggerated sigh sounds from behind them, and the chameleon rises to his feet as well. Cracking his neck, he strolls towards his associates, leaning his shoulder against the sharpshooter. The other man doesnât so much as blink, clearly used to such antics.
âWe answer to the will of the Camorra boss only,â Hector informs coolly, his tone just barely passing for polite. âWe have since the beginning of Camorra family inception.â
We donât answer to you, goes unsaid but the double meaning is clear. Winston straightens, a touch surprised. He wasnât aware that such a divide existed between the highest tier of Camorra members and a top level High Table representative. He wonders if itâs more so the threat to their bossâthe last DâAntonio left to carry the bloodline that founded Camorra centuries agoâor simple dislike that is driving such blatant disobedience.
The manager sincerely doubts that this refusal to comply is born out of genuine loyalty towards you or respect for your command. Especially from the Devil who holds no loyalties other than one towards Camorra.
The Adjudicatorâs head dips, their short black hair appearing even darker in the bright light.
âThere are rules. You are not above them,â they speak briskly, softly. âNo one is above them. You are all bound to the will of the Table and exist under it.â
Another obnoxiously loud pop of the gum and the youngest of the Eliteâs grins. âActually weâre part of the Table,â he notes nonchalantly, but there is something icy about the slight edge to his grin. Distantly, Winston recalls you telling him that from all the Elites, itâs the chameleon you wonât want as your enemy the most. âTake one leg out and the whole table wobbles.â
The silence that follows those words is stifling. No one speaks or moves.
âNo rules have been broken,â Hector eventually bites out, blunt but controlled. âWeâre just guarding our boss. Shouldnât you be commending our loyalty, huh?â
An unexpected bait but not one the Adjudicator rises to. Their expression remains steely, their eyes dragging over the Camorra Four before they finally turn away.
âVery well,â they intone flatly, their eyes narrowing marginally, and their tone dismissive. âNext time I will return with a direct order to stand down.â
âYou do that,â the Devil shoots back without missing a beat.
The Adjudicator pauses, their eyes flickering back towards the man, digging into him for a moment before their attention drops away. Winston remains composed when the Adjudicatorâs stare moves to him next, cold as ice, an unspoken burn of anger present in their eyes. Clearly, theyâre not very used to not being heeded.
âI will be in my room.â
The Adjudicator doesnât stick around to see if anyone has anything to say about that. They turn to go without sparing anyone another word, their steps brisk and sharp, betraying the displeasure absent from their frosty expression.
Itâs quiet while they all stand, listening to the sound of retreating footsteps and, eventually, the whirl of the elevator going up.
Itâs only then that the Elites relax, their guarded demeanours easing a bit.
âSo mean spirited,â the chameleon mutters under his breath, unimpressed, and turns to go back to his laptop. âExhausting.â
âGentlemen.â
Winston nods his head at the Devil specifically, but Hector only grunts under his breath with a roll of his eyes. Briefly, he glances at Charon, his eyes narrowing before he turns away and stalks back to his previous spot.
Conversation over.
Fine by him.
The other twoâthe sharpshooter and the strengthâreturn his nod, polite but stiff.
Winston tips his head in their direction one last time, and turns on his heels to go. No one stops him, and Charon trails after the manager a few seconds later.
Itâs only when they both step into the elevator, the door closing softly behind them, that Charon finally speaks, âNicely done, sir.â
Winston sighs, his shoulders dropping.
âItâs only a temporary deterrent, Iâm afraid,â he admits and knows heâs right. If the Adjudicator does get that order the Four will not be enough. âThe hatchling?â
The concierge straightens, his hands folded behind his back.
âThe last sighting was reported as the Moroccan Continental, sir.â
There is a tickle of relief followed by a sting of concern. âGood. Then she as good as made it.â
Heâs still not quite sure how he feels about the idea, however.
âIf I may, sir,â Charon begins as if sensing the managerâs unease. âYou do not look pleased about that.â
There is no point in trying to deny it, so Winston doesnât.
âNot at all,â he agrees smoothly, feeling the elevator halt and the concierge moves ahead, opening the partition for them. âIf it had been up to me, she never would have had to go back there. But sheâs been reckless and manoeuvred herself into a corner with only one ace left to play. Herself.â
Seven years in this world. Seven long years of fighting for freedom and now there is a reputation that has been built upon that desperation. A reputation that has attracted all sorts of attention over the years.
Charon both looks and sounds troubled while they walk through the lobby. âIs there a reason for concern, sir?â
All these moving pieces forming an ever-shifting pattern. Something has been brewing for a while now. Winston canât help but feel like heâs missing and not seeing something crucial. Like all those pieces are put together at a slightly wrong angle, disorientating the whole picture.
What will you do now, little hatchling?
The Elder. That history between you, that story you sharedâthey all weigh heavily on the managerâs mind. Always have.
He comes to a gradual stop.
âOh, yes,â he mutters, pensive, shaking his head as he glances at the concierge beside him with open unease. âMost certainly.â
Every breath takes notable effort.
Your instincts pinprick, trying to acclimate to the too-familiar surroundingsâcount and anticipate any potential threats. Everything about being back here feels so familiar it is its own kind of torture.
Your skin itches. One side of your face and handsâeverywhere the scorching sun has managed to touch you the mostâstretches uncomfortably with every twitch of your muscles. Itâs a discomfort that comes with sunburns often earned in an unforgiving terrain like the desert, and you try to lick your dry lips, lifting your head. Your vision swims immediately, an explosion of vivid spots blinding you, and you careen dangerously to one side, hissing under your breath.
Eyes track every jerk of your body, and you know full well youâre not alone in this tent.
Youâre almost afraid to look at him. Then feel idiotic for feeling that way. Maybe itâs because you had hoped that this chapter of your life was shut and laid to rest long ago, and itâs a hard pill to swallow, knowing that he was right after all.
âDrink.â
Itâs then that you notice a cup sitting on a small, wooden table to the side. Part of you wants to cackle till you choke when you realise itâs the same green cup you drank from during your first test with him years ago.
Gathering yourself, you reach for the cup despite your dread, your digits folding around it carefully.
The drink inside smells minty and fresh but you donât find anything amiss with it on the first inspection. A vague recollection of a similar scent tickling your senses when you were coming in and out of consciousness comes crawling back. With that in mind, you finally tip the cup down, taking a purposeful sip.
It empties in three slow gulps and you lower it back onto the table, still silent. It does make you feel better instantly, lifting the dense fog that was previously crushing your mind. A sense of dĂŠjĂ vu nips at your senses but you push it back. Not much point in delaying this. Though it doesnât surprise you that he gave you time to gather yourself. Â
Kindness with this man, you have long since learned, comes in the smallest of gestures. Tiniest of moments.
Drawing your knees closer, you sit up slowly, your head lowered.
âWhy have you come?â
His words send a shiver down your spine that has little to do with heat. Youâve forgotten how much quiet power always rings through his baritone. His smooth, accented words wash over you like a tidal wave; gentle as they are dangerous. Misleading with their softness.
Swallowing, you force your limbs to obey youâto shift the worn muscles into an appropriate position. One knee digs into the carpet beneath you, your hands lacing over your bent thigh when you reposition yourself into a kneeling position. Your head is still lowered and you realise, then, that it isnât fear of punishment thatâs forcing you to stare at the ground. Â
Itâs him.
He once managed to get under your guard with startling ease and you scrubbed him away. Walked away from him and everything he offered. Tried to forget him despite the cracks. Your choice had made you feel powerful back then. In control. Despite there being a part of you that had longed to stay, you never quite regretted your decision to leave.
Worst, perhaps, is the knowledge that it wasnât one-sided. You werenât foolishly pining after the most powerful man in the world. You werenât naively seeing something that didnât exist. If anything, his interest in you had been more obvious from the start.
âIââ you mumble, near choking on your suddenly heavy tongue and mangled thoughts. âI came to seek repentance for my actions.â
Silence follows your muffled words and you stare at the ruby ring on your hand intently.
Will he turn you away? Consider you naive and foolish for hoping thereâs some semblance of hope?
And where is John? Did he only pick you up and not him? Your weaponsâwhat few you still haveâare still on you because you can feel them against your body with every inhale and exhale.
Your empty stomach rolls and you have to bite back the acid welling at the back of your throat the longer you wait. The thrumming of your own heart almost drowns out his voice when the answer does finally come.
âStand, viper,â the Elder states calmly. âYou do not grovel at my feet.â
And just like that your breaths calm. Your dread ebbs like sea waves receding. With his words, you remember that you met as equals and parted as such despite you unearthing his true identity.
Heâs right. You donât grovel at his feet. Or anyoneâs.
You stand at once, balancing on your heels, and square your shoulders. The lock of your jaw is a firm one, your stare steady and the steel in your stance returns easily. In that, it feels like no time has passed at all.
Straightening, you look ahead and meet his inquisitive stare evenly.
This time the sight that greets you is befitting the man who rules the High Table. This is how you had expected him to be the first time you met. A golden chair that reminds you more of a throne, and extravagant robes that breathe wealth and showcase his status. Surrounded by his people in a subtle warning though you know he can more than hold his own.
He oozes that unnerving authority but his face is still familiar. Few years have passed since youâve last seen him, yet he barely looks any different. If it werenât for several new lines creasing his face, you would have thought that time has simply paused here while youâve been gone.
The quiet intensity of his heated regard hasnât changed, either. Nor has the unease or the thrill that comes with having his complete attention on you.
He watches you unblinkingly and you find yourself swallowing again, an immovable knot sitting in your throat.
âHere you are.â
Itâs a soft, thoughtful statement and youâre not quite sure what to make of his words or his demeanour, so you settle on a simple, âHere I am.â
He stands at that, his robes rustling in the wake of his sudden movement. His steps are measured and leisurely as he approaches. The Elderâs stare takes every inch of you in and you donât lower your eyes. He doesnât look particularly pleased with what he finds and you canât help but wonder why. Â
It still kills a small part of you. That you had to come back but only because you need a favour from him. Not because you returned to join him or even visit him, if you even could.
A part of youâŚ
âI thought that maybeâŚâ you mutter when he halts before youâall heat, spice, and that razor-sharp gaze that seems to burn into youâhis hands lacing in front of him as he watches you keenly. âThat maybe you forgot about me.â
Itâs been years after all. Youâre just you. One person in a machine so much larger than yourself. If Elder considered Tarasov to be nothing more than a piece in a more elaborate game years agoâat the near height of his powerâthen you couldnât have possibly been that important. Or even noteworthy. He might have thought highly of you once but that was then.
His expression, however, gives you an answer before he can verbally do so.
âHow could I?â he questions curiously, softly. As if the concept of forgetting you is truly an inconceivable one for him.
You work your tongue, trying to think of something to say, something clever, but nothing comes.
You simply stare up at him mutely, taking him in, and he you, and it does indeed feel like no time has passed between you. Even though so much is different now.
âI almost came back. Once,â you confess in a breathless rush, blinking rapidly because itâs hard to keep a straight expression under that scrutiny. âI got desperate and angry andâŚâ
And Tarasov wonât let you help Camorra with the Albanians. Had treated you like nothing more than a dog, reminding you of your place. Dependant on his goodwill of which he had none. So you had ran like a reckless idiot. Sick and tired of being dependent on his word. Hoping for his mercy or any crumb of kindness.
âI know,â he murmurs in reply, a secret for you alone. âI waited for you.â
Air escapes your lungs at that mild admittance. At the way his eyes drag over your features, savouring but still guardedâalways guarded. Everywhere from your eyes, to the dip of your collarbone, and the bow of your lips. There are others scattered around the tent but it feels like youâre the only ones here.
The golden hue of his eyes glints with knowing light at your reaction, and you force your tongue to work, âI wish to explain myself.â
He nods his head once. Prompt as it is anticipatory. You imagine that to him this is all playing out exactly as heâd been expecting it to. Youâre back but a part of you is mangled exactly like he predicted it would be. Vengeance has led you here. Tarasov may be dead but you have only dug yourself into a deeper hole.
âYou came all this way,â he says knowingly, his head slanting and lips thinning into an enigmatic half-smile. âSpeak freely, viper.â
Your eyes, in return, sweep warily over others inside the tent. Some familiar faces. Others are unknown to you. Only pointed stares and blank expressions greet your curiosity. Inscrutable, severe stares that judge your every move and word. Saad is nowhere to be seen. That surprises you but you donât let it show.
The Elder notes your wariness, not bothering to look away from you when he commands a soft, âLeave us.â
As one, everyone inside the tent rises. They donât question, nor do they linger. They file out in a neat line, their robes rustling in the breeze, and you stare after them, surprised. You didnât expect him to dismiss everyone solely because you felt uneasy talking to him with others around. Although seeing the space clear out is, admittedly, a relief.
Now itâs you two alone and it changes the air between you again. This puts you back in time, even if you try to remain unaffected.
But itâs hard not to. A part of you still sees him as Rafik. A man you have spent endless hours talking to about everything and nothingâa man you considered close to youâdespite knowing full well that Rafik isnât even his real name. In fact, you have no idea what his name is. Or who he is. Not really. Heâs still just layers upon layers of mystery. Power. Ancient and tangible.
The way he gazes at you makes you think that isnât the case, however. There is warmth woven into his regard, an almost fondness that despite being muted is clear to you.
The darkness of that stare is arresting when he reaches out, the warmth of his fingertips ghosting over your bandaged ear. You donât hold back your wince of pain, pulling away from the contact.
The Elderâs mouth slants downwards at that, his eyes narrowing marginally. He looks thoughtful, displeased almost. The shadow across his expression is new to you. Youâve seen him as many things but tense and unhappy is not one of them.
âWhat have they done to you?â
Itâs a quiet questionâa collection of sharp, hard syllablesâdragging themselves from somewhere deeper, you can tell.
Your lips part, ready to tell him everything but you stop yourself at once. How would he even look at you if you knew what you did? There would be no chance of forgiveness then. If he knew how badly you broke the very rules he enforces upon everyone in their world repeatedly.
With that in mind, you instead settle on a weak, âGuess you were right.â
Do not let that fire consume you.
He was right. He was always going to be right, you were just too blind and proud to admit it. Â
His expression strains, his touch dropping away, and a glint catches your eye when his hand lowers. You feel a thud against your ribcage, and focus on that golden skin, barely breathing to a point his next words hardly register.
âThis is not something I wished to be right about,â he says unhappily.
You swallow. Then again.
âYouâre wearing it.â
He pauses. It doesnât take long for him to figure out what you mean by that. The pad of his index finger brushes over the ring heâs wearing absentmindedly. The golden plate seems to gleam at the touch despite neither of you standing in direct sunlight.
âIt was a gift,â he says gently in return, his features guarded once more. âA parting gift from you.â
It doesnât explain much yet it explains everything.
On your last day together, when you visited Casablanca together, you had gotten it for him after arguing Saad out of some local currency under the guise of buying something for yourself. A souvenir as far as he knew back then. But the ring had caught your eye first. Handmade ring crafted out of pale golden metal. It reminded you of the sun that is his presence and the endless stretches of sand surrounding you.
Grinning, and more than a little unsure, you had presented it to him when you sat on the beach together, calling it a thank you present because you hadnât worked up the courage to talk to him about leaving just yet. He had accepted it readily, his fingers lingering against yours when he took it, and even back then you couldnât quite describe the emotion you glimpsed across his face.
You hadnât dared to assume it was wonder back then, but it had been a close thing.
You certainly didnât expect him to keep it after you left.
Or to still be wearing it after all these years. But maybe youâre jumping to conclusions and heâs only wearing it today. Specifically for this.
The silence between you changes yet again, morphing. Something more charged. Near oppressive.
Nerves flutter inside your tired body and you allow a soft wisp of breath to escape you, thinking of something to break the tension with. Â
âWhere is John?â you question quietly, your voice thick.
His jaw ticks, and he looks away, staring out towards the horizon.
âMr Wick is safe,â he answers coolly. âDo not fret for him. He will answer for his wrongdoings in due time.â
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â
The Elder turns to face you again, and it unnerves you because he keeps slipping between the man you lived with for months, and the man who controls the High Table. One is close to you, familiar. The other feels removed, walled off. No longer a sun but a cold, distant star. Unreachable to you.
His expression softens a touch when he notices your startled expression.
âMr Wick has returned only to unleash havoc,â he informs you calmly, matter of factly. He doesnât sound or look angry or even displeased, yet something about the piercing gleam in his eyes makes you think that it will not be a confrontation without consequences. âHis punishment will reflect that. He made the decisions that led him here,â he fades off, pausing, his stare flickering over your features once more. âAs have you,â he adds.
âIâm sorry,â you force out, shaking your head, cringing slightly at the pain that flares through your skin at that. âTheyâre both important to me andââ
âI am not speaking about Santino DâAntonio getting shot, viper.â
Your head snaps up, your features slacking with confusion. âThen what...â
The Elder lifts his hand, his attention focusing on the ring on his finger instead. He seems to struggle with something internally before sighing softly and dragging his stare away from you once more. You wonder why. Itâs almost as if itâs difficult for him to look at you.
âDo not tell me you were so quick to forget my warning to you,â he begins calmly, something aloof lingering in his voice. He walks past you, his fingertips tapping on his ring repeatedly. Your own fingers tighten into a fist when you note the shift in him, the Camorra ring pressing into your skin as a bleak reminder. Your eyes follow him as he goes, watching his broad back when he stops at the edge of the tent, looking out towards the vastness of the desert. âI told you what will happen if anything befalls Viggo Tarasov before your debt is repaid.â
Ice pierces you, burrowing under your skin viciously, and youâre glad that he canât see your face because for a second your expression comes apart completely.
âI did notââ
âDo you really think I know you so little that lying to me would work?â
Your mouth snaps shut, a bitter tang stinging the inside of your mouth. Heâs right. You feel as disappointed in yourself as he sounds. Youâve always prided yourself on being forward and direct. Yet your instinct now had been to lie, to deny, because the idea of him knowing terrifies you.
Because it puts you in so much worse of a position than what you first expected to be in.
How? Why would he even thinkâ
The High Table would haveâ
âI know why you came here,â he says, at last, turning to face you again. His expression is grim and he watches you closely as he strolls closer. Despite his leisurely gait, his stare is searing. âYou came in hopes that I would lift the Excommunicado. You came in hopes that you can clear your name. But your crimes run deeper than you are willing to admit to me.â
âIâve disappointed you,â you assume blankly. âIs that it?â
He shakes his head once. âNo, viper,â he responds placidly, his eyebrows knitting. âYou have disappointed yourself. You are so much better than this. Yet your recklessness has led you to this. Did you really think that I would not find out?â
He comes to a stop before you again and you meet his stare.
There is no point in lying, so you donât.
âIf you knew,â you start, choked, forcing down your emotions as you search his face, and try to quieten the pounding of your heart. âThen why was I not declared Excommunicado sooner?â
A long beat of suffocating silence, and then, âBecause I shielded you.â
He says it so simply. Like itâs as expected as the sun rising each morning. A faint knell of wind chimes fills the hush between you this time, and you peer at him in disbelief. Shock.
âWhat?â you exhale shakily.
The Elder shakes his head once, sighing. âI gave you a chance in hopes that you will take it and savour your new freedom,â he explains smoothly, his fingertips still dancing over the ring. His strong profile only accents his handsomeness and you see the conflict thereâsee the shadows dancing inside the inky pools that are his eyes. âI overlooked your wrongdoing. Because I understood your pain then as I do now. I cautioned the Table to look the other way. But what did you do with this gift, viper? You wasted it. And there is nothing to be done now. Even I cannot shield you from the storm that has been unleashed. The scale has been tipped towards chaos now. You broke the rules in the open, for the whole world to see,â he continues, each word making your heart beat harder inside your chest, his attention returning to you, âAnd now here you are.â
So thatâs why.
Why there was such a long pause between Tarasovâs death and administration contacting you about you being free of your debt. The silence that made you so uneasy back then. The High Table had been suspicious, had assumed you played a part, but the Elder pulled their attention away from you.
Years later, heâs still looking out for you.
Youâre too speechless to say much past gaping at him; a thousand thoughts fluttering through your mind, all of them wild and hurtful.
Your attention falls to the carpet beneath your feet, and stays there for some time while you digest what this means.
He knows. Heâs known for weeks now.
Just like that the already shaky foundation beneath your feet slips further.
Helplessness closes in and your eyes sting.
Consequences. Everything has a price and it was foolish of you to assume that your luck will continue. Youâve been too quick to celebrate and now...
âWhat now?â
A whisper of material sounds in your ears and the heat of his palm comes to rest against one side of your face. You feel that warmth sink deep into your skin and it burns. Both a physical ache and something deeper. Your eyes open as he guides your face upwards for him to see.
You lean on the side of caution and say nothing, waiting for him to speak first. Â
âNow, my viper,â he whispers, a touch forlorn. âYou face the consequences of your actions.â
Forcing down your fear, you give him a firm, unyielding, âIf youâre going to kill me, at least make it quick.â
His palm pulls back but not all the way. His knuckles trace over the curve of your cheekâso faint you barely register the sensation. âI would never kill you.â
âBut?â
He seems to be considering something hard, his regard in a constant flux between warring emotions, âBut you cannot be seen as walking away without punishment after whatâs happened. It is the way of things,â he finally concludes.
You pull away from his touch, your eyes burning, âSo be it,â you mutter, shaky and forcefully casual. âBut I donât regret stepping in. I donât regret any of it. I would do it all again.â
Even if it meant the pain and the heartache. Sleepless nights and blood.
Because at least theyâre all alive. Even if this is the sacrifice for that victory.
You saved them, and you would never regret that.
âIs this love?â
Your attention snaps back to him at the gentle murmur of his question. There is little distance between youâto a point you can feel the heat of his broad build and the phantom sensation of his exhales against your skin.
He didnât specify who the love is for.
Deep down, you know itâs not so simple to untangle who means what to you anymore. Itâs a mess of different emotions and loyalties. Everyone in your life that has made themselves a place in it, you love fiercely. Even if theyâre all different kinds of love. All you knowâall you need to knowâis that you would gladly stand here for any of them. Punishment and consequences be damned.
âYes.â
Youâre not sure why you expect him to be irritated, perhaps even disappointed in your answer, but he only seems to consider your words for a while.
Fierce desert heat rolls across your skin while you wait for a response but he seems to be in no rush to provide you with one. His lips part, his head lowering and he makes a small sound at the back of his throat; half-disbelieving, and half-thoughtful. Â
âHow odd,â he muses faintly, his features drawing into something desolate. âI do not quite recall the last time I felt envy.â
Your eyes flutter shut, trying to push his words and the emotion in them away. He means that genuinely, and you know that. Youâve lived with him for months and have seen a great many sides to him. That lonelinessâthat drive to be something more, to be understood by someone elseâis what drew you together in the first place. Bonded you as deeply as it did.
Despite the nip of sadness you feel for him, you donât contradict himâdonât say anything at all, in fact.
âWhat is it that you want from me?â
The Elder appears lost in his head for a while before he finally responds, âYou already know, viper,â he says in a knowing murmur. âOtherwise you would not look at me with such sadness in your eyes.â
âYou want me to stay.â
âYes,â he agrees with a slight nod, his previous melancholy receding, and his guard slipping back on. âIt is the only way that your life can be spared. Your service to the High Table will be used to absolve you of your crimes.â
You canât quite help the bitter, brief laugh that slips free from you. âAnd is love a crime? Iâm being punished for caring. For wanting to keep my family safe.â
He doesnât say anything but you can guess what heâs thinking.
You broke the rules. Killed Tarasov. Interfered when you could have killed John and proven your loyalty to the High Table. Rules apply to allâno exceptions.
You donât want to think about what would be the outcome if he knew about Chicago as well. Then, you conclude numbly, even his favour wonât save you from death.
âFor how long?â
The Elder doesnât reply. You already know, his expression seems to say though, and your composure fractures. Sucking in a deep breath, you chew on your inner cheek, half-turning away from him.
Because of course you know.
âFor life,â you choke out.
âYes,â he agrees, his voice gentle. âYou will become my fourth disciple, and my apprentice, working directly under me,â he explains carefully, watching you just as closely, and you fight to keep a straight expression. âI am sorry, (Name), I wish there had been another way. But we are each masters of our own fate. You gave this life a chance once before and you embraced it effortlessly.â
You know that. You know that compared to what could have happened, this is a mercy. He will treat you fairly, kindly, and youâve almost made this place, his people, your new life once before. If anything, on the surface alone, this is more of a gift than a punishment, especially with the amount of power you will gain by joining him.
And yet.
This also means that you will rarely, if ever, see your friends and family again.
Everyone you love and care for will be removed from you. People who join the Elder donât go back to their old lives. Service to the High Table becomes their new life. The tribe, their new family.
No Winston or Charon. Santino or John. No Ares or the Elites. No Sofia or Cassian.
Just no one.
The tear you feel in your heart at that thought nearly makes you choke on a sob. For all the physical agony youâve been through in these last several weeks, this somehow hurts the most. The notion that you will never see them again, will never get to touch them or laugh with them, is agonising. Somehow it hurts even more than the realisation that you will be bound yet again, unable to be free, unable to live for yourself just like you always dreamt of.
A hand reaches for you but you stumble back a step, still not looking at him. Â
âYou will not be my prisoner, viper,â he tells you seriously. âI would never take that from you. But youââ
âCan never see them again, is that it?â you cut him off sharply.
You know heâs not used to being spoken to like that. You doubt anyone has even tried but when you lift your eyes to his, you notice how his own features smoothen in response to what he sees on your face. The grief and the pain. The raw, suffocating grip of it shackling you and dragging you down, down, downâ
He doesnât deny your words, however, and thatâs answer enough.
âI know this is hard,â he says instead, and you think that sympathy you spy in his dark eyes is genuine, well-meant. âBut I warned you where this path will lead you. You did not listen.â
It doesnât help though.
God, it hurts so much. This is somehow worse than when John left. Worse even, is the fact that you have no one to blame. Not even the Elder. You did this yourself. Went into this fully knowing there is a chance it will all blow up in your face.
âCan I at least...say goodbye?â you wonder, your words thin, and inhale deeply despite the dry, hot air giving you little relief. âSpend some time with them before I leave?â
The Elder hesitates. âA week.â
You shake your head, stepping closer towards him. âSix months.â
His head slants; a colder, more authoritative motion. âAre you bargaining with me, viper?â
There is no hesitation in your reply, not this time, âYes.â
âAnd what bargaining power do you have?â
Itâs a curious question as opposed to condescending. Almost as if heâs trying to gauge how you will react, and you force your emotions back, licking your lips once. Your thumb smoothes against the inside of the metal band on your hand.
âIâm the acting boss of Camorra,â you remind him, straightening your shoulders once more despite the way you can feel your pulse fluttering against the base of your neck. Youâre not sure if it betrays you but you certainly donât let it show. âAnd I would respectfully ask that you give me six months. It will not change anything in the long run.â
The Elderâs attention drifts towards your hand, and he closes whatever little distance there is between you, reaching for it. You tense despite yourself when he carefully takes your clenched fist into his palm and lifts it between you. His thumb traces over your bruised knuckleâa tender, careful touch as if not to hurt you furtherâand a pensive hum slips free as he stares at the ring on your hand.
âYou wear power beautifully,â he comments idly, and you have to hold back a shiver at the feeling of his thumb continuously journeying over your skin; nothing more than a tickle, a promise of warmth. The touch hurts as much as it soothes. âThree months. Offered to you only because you dare where others donât. Because I am not unreasonable and while this is a punishment, I do not wish to see you unhappy.â
Too late for that nearly escapes you but you bite your tongue.
Three months. Just three. It will pass in a blink and thenâŚ
A lifetime away from everything you love, everything that is home and safety. Everything thatâs important to you. Â
âMay...may I have a moment?â you request weakly. âJust toâŚâ
He releases his grip on your hand and it falls to your side heavily. âOf course,â he voices graciously. âI will be back shortly but take the time you need.â
He steps past you once more but this time he heads towards the direction other men had left in earlier. He doesnât pause and he doesnât turn back to look at you, his gait slow but self-assured. You wait till his broad back disappears from your sight before you feel your expression crumble completely.
Pressing a hand against your face, you ignore the flare of pain where you dig too hard into your sunburnt skin. Instead, you focus everything inside yourself on controlling your despair and tears. You canât fall apart now. Not after how far youâve come and all youâve been through.
Shuddering breaths wheeze past your mouth and nose, your shoulders quivering. Better to allow yourself this weakness now, alone, than to let the Elder or anyone see this slip.
Your shaking hands drag themselves away from your face and mouth, and your palm pushes against your breastbone. Beneath the material of your jumpsuit and skin, your heart hammers inside your chest like a wild beast desperate to escape. So afraid of the chain once again.
But what can you do? There is no other option. No escape. Nowhere to run, and even if you did, such action would only paint a bigger target on people closest to you. The only thing you would do by running is reassuring their demise.
The heel of your palm presses harsher against your sternum, maybe in some naive hope that you can tear your own heart out and it would beâ
Oh.
You still, an unsettling sort of hush falling over you when a dark, insidious whisper slithers into your mind after all. You keep your palm close against the curve of your breast and think.
What would Winston do if he were here right now?
There is only one option, really.
Just the one.
But your mind and instincts go to battle at once. One side arguing for it and other against it. If you succeed...but if you failâŚ
But what other choice is there? Servitude or death? No.
A frustrated sound tears from the back of your throat and you drop your hand, standing to your full height, your eyes squeezing shut.
No. No, you will not let this pass. You will no longer be controlled. Youâve had enough.
Fuck consequences. You will deal with them as they come. You shouldnât be punished for killing the man who took everything from you in the first place. You should not be punished for saving someone you care forâfor interfering.
Your blunt nails bite into your palms to a point of pain despite that resolve. Because digging through that determination and rage is fear. Very simple human fear but you bottle it and shove it deep down.
No time for that now.
Power is a dangerous thing. You have to be willing to lose everything in order to take it.
And thatâs exactly it.
Lose everything.
Just like that your taut limbs relax, the pounding inside your head retreating and dulling into a muffled buzz. You step forward one slow step at the time before dropping heavily onto the very throne you woke up to find the Elder sitting on.
Your eyes flutter close and you mull over the new path youâre about to step on, bowing your head in acceptance. So much for dreams of freedom. Your fingers ghost over your collarbone again and you smile this time; a cold, broken fragment of a smile.
Eyes closed, you listen to the sounds of the desert for a while, calming yourself. Wind against silk and tapestries. Faintest of whooshes caused by wind teasing sand away from the outer surface of dunes surrounding the camp. Sandorms, at least, you have not missed.
Deep down you canât help but think that you always knew how this was going to end. Â
People like us donât get happy endings.
You ignore the ache inside your chest at the memory of Santinoâs face, focusing instead on clearing your mind.
It takes at least another ten minutes before muted footsteps sound from ahead of you. You donât lift your head at his approach, your arms hanging limp between your parted legs.
He pauses when he sees you. You suppose itâs rude, what youâre doing, sitting on his throne like itâs your own.
This time, youâre the one to tilt your head to one side, looking up at him from under your lashes.
The Elder doesnât appear angry at your nerve to sit on his throne though. No rigidness to be found in his expression or slanting of his full mouth, not even a pinching of his brows; all telltale signs of his discontent usually. In fact, his eyes drag over your figure, lingering everywhere despite the distance.
For a man who doesnât let others close, rarely lets his guard down in general, his appreciationâdare you say it, desireâis abundantly clear.
Jaw clamped tightly shut, you rise to your feet unhurriedly. Far steadier than you expected yourself to be capable of, and he steps closer towards you as well. Slow, bordering on cautious, and you wonder why. Itâs like heâs afraid to blink lest you disappear.
But maybe thatâs precisely it. Maybe heâs been hoping to walk into this tent and find you here every day since youâve been gone. And now that you are here, heâs not quite sure what to do.
âHow are you feeling?â he asks curiously, his accented words warming you like the setting sun, and you wonder what it may feel like to hear that voice for the rest of your life.
No turning back now.
Swallowing thickly, you ignore the pulsing numbness locking your throat, and wait for him to halt in front of you before you speak.
âI accept.â
A light sparks in his eyesâsomething burning and near living in its intensity, an emotion you have only glimpsed once beforeâas they roam over your features in search of an answer to a question he hasnât asked.
âThree months,â you begin purposely, rushing your words out in a breathless whisper. Heâs so close thereâs hardly any distance between you at allâno room to turn away nor do you want to. The turquoise of his turban only seems to bring out the beauty of his dark eyes and golden skin. Draw you closer. He, too, hardly seems to be breathing while he listens to your words intently. âThen I come back here. To you. And stay. I will give this a chance but I canât promise that it...will not be hard. In returnâŚâ
âThe Excommunicado will be lifted upon your return to New York,â he reassures, still searching for something in your expression. âYou have my word.â
His eyes lower and he breathes another sigh in a rare show of uncertainty.
âWhat is it?â you canât help but wonder, confused.
âWhat proof do I have that you will uphold your word, viper?â he questions mildly, his probing stare digging into you. That challenging, clever stare that first got the warning bells ringing inside your head that this is not a man to be trifled with. âWhat will you give me in a show of fealty?â
You donât say anything, peering up at him silently.
Seeing that, the Elderâs eyes slide towards your bare neck, and stop there. A second later, his strong fingers trace over the curve of the silver chain around your neckâ
âNo,â you choke out desperately, your hand snapping up to grip his own when his fingers slip around the metal. âPlease, itâs not mine to give away.â
Itâs Santinoâs. When he gave it to you, over a year ago now, he asked to guard it for him, keep it safe. Even then, you knew it meant more to him than he would ever admit outright. Youâre not quite sure where it comes from or who it belongs to but you have a strong inkling, and the idea of giving it away makes you feel sick to your stomach.
The Elder hesitates at your fragile plea, your eyes locking again, and fingers touching. âYet it is important to you.â
More than he knows and certainly more than even you realised.
Here, now, faced with the prospect of losing it makes you think that you canât live without it. That you need it or you will feel aimless and lost forever. It became an anchor slowly, with time, but now you value it above most things.
That realisation leaves you trembling before you conjure up some semblance of composure back.
âPlease,â you plead again, soft and frayed. âNot this. I can give you something else. Something more.â
He doesnât hide his palpable confusion, and thatâs when you move closer, your fingers snaking up his neck as you lean forward and kiss him.
His moment of hesitation lasts no more than a split second before he grabs you around the waist, hauling you closer and you slip your arms around him, kissing him as deeply as you can. Your mouth hurts from how hard you kiss him, fervent and demanding, and despite his initial falter, he replies with equal drive and need. Your tongue slips inside his mouth, wet and hot, and you donât compromise and neither does he. One hand grips the back of his neck where your nails sink into the firm, strong skin there, scratching and claiming. Your other drags across the scruff of his jaw, forcing him closer. Not that you need to, he holds you so close, every curve of your body presses into him.
He fuses you two together, the accessories of his robes wedging painfully into your skin but it only fuels you more. His large, burning hand settles against the back of your neck, holding you to him. Biting back a snarl, you try to wiggle your way free but his fingers dig in. Firm, unyielding, steadying; forcing a small gasp from you despite your best effort to hold it back.
You let everything flow outwards, biting down on his bottom lip greedily, and he groans loudly at the back of his throatâa deep, appreciative soundâthat almost makes you purr in delight. All that control, all those guards, and you tore through them like tissue paper.
The taste of him mingles on your tongue, his nose nudging against your cheek when he deepens the kiss again, exploring and searching but with such desperation, itâs like heâs trying to drown himself in the kiss. In you.
Your lips tingle and feel partially numb by the time you finally part, breathing hard. Heat creeps up your neck and simmers in your gut while you continue holding onto him. The chain around your neck lays forgotten, both of the Elderâs arms locked firmly around you instead. Â
Perhaps this is a kiss you should have shared years ago. That night by the fire you came dangerously close to taking this path. Claiming a lot more than just a kiss from him when he outright admitted that he would have made you his. A kiss that could have started something beautiful. Itâs tainted now by the uncertainty of your shared future but you donât point that out, only waiting for his reaction.
âYa amar,â he breathes near reverent, his voice throaty, and gaze wild. He tries to leash his desire but you can still taste it, and with how thoroughly you kissed him, you have no doubt that he can say the same for you. âWhy?â
âThis is what you want,â you tell him, hushed words that brush against his lips as intimately as your lips have moments prior. âItâs what you always wanted.â Â
He grips one side of your face, reminding you too much of someone you canât afford to think of right now, and he shakes his head once.
âNo,â he murmurs but the way he holds onto you betrays him as do his eyes that keep flickering back towards your lips. âWhat I always wanted was an equal,â he pauses for a beat, squinting at you like heâs taking you in with new eyes, like youâre a marvel to behold. âAnd you have become exactly that, havenât you, my viper?â
Once you would have denied it, shielded away from saying anything on the matter. Once you simply wonât have believed it. But now there is nothing holding you back anymore.
In that freedom, you have unearthed a simple truth.
âYes.â
His eyes flutter shut at your confirmation, and you hate the subtle glimmer of relief, even wonderment, you see creasing his expression. Like heâs waited his whole life for someone to say that.
âThree months,â he utters quietly like he doesn't want to disturb the moment. âThen you will return to me.â
âI always do.â
His grip on you constricts before loosening, lingering and reluctant to let go but he does eventually, his digits sliding away from the curve of your waist and neck.
You donât bother asking how many rules you broke with this kiss.
You both got what you wanted.
âYour tent awaits you,â he prompts quietly, still drilling holes into you. âRest before your journey, viper. We will see each other soon.â
You couldnât run even if you wanted to or triedâneither of which you do. Too late for that now.
You dip your head in a small bow, but his fingers tap under your chin the moment you do, guiding your face upwards.
âEveryone but you.â
Then he pulls away, his thumb fluttering briefly over your bottom lip, and sits himself down on his throne, folding his arms and legs alike.
The perfect picture of a powerful, controlled ruler. Enigmatic and captivating.
Cruel as he is kind.
The Terrible Sultan, you canât quite help your fleeting thought. Which makes you wonder if that, then, makes you his Golden Empress.
You donât linger on that thought though, that connection that lives between you. Pivoting on your heels, you head towards the exit of the tent, feeling his eyes lingering on you the entire way.
Your mouth still burns but you ignore it.
Your expression slackens the moment your back is to him, coldness spreading through you as you step into the blazing desert sun.
E4 E5.
The roar inside your head is overpowering.
So much so that all you can do is sit slumped beside your old cot. You hadnât quite made to it, instead half-collapsing beside it. Your folded knees partially obscure your sight as you stare blankly ahead but you canât bring yourself to move.Â
Instead, you work on glueing together that controlled calm the very man you just talked with taught you.Â
Your mind doesnât allow you rest though. Every wall of control and discipline youâve ever learned from every influential person in your life dissolves in face of the blistering furnace that is your raging heart.Â
A collection of voices scream at you inside your head, and it takes a while to be able to comprehend what one singular voice that sounds suspiciously like Winston is demanding.Â
What have you done?
And all you can think in response to that is a tiny and uncertain, What I had to.
Lacing your fingers, you push them between your thighs, sucking in deep, near painful breaths.Â
You donât have time for this. No time for self-pity. ThereâsâŚ
Thereâs too much to do.Â
Yet all you want to do is sit here for the rest of your days and never move.Â
You lick your lips, wetting them, and feel another torrent of emotions batter against your self-control.Â
The taste of him is still in your mouth.Â
You havenât kissed anyone on the lips in five years. Not since that night on your birthday when you kissed John. The last time you ever laid your mouth on someone else in generalâŚ
A comforting memory slips through the chaos; wispy and balmy, like an embrace. A memory of heat enveloping you, familiar cologne, and dark curly hair. Santinoâs small, drunken smile when you pressed a kiss against his forehead, your fingers cupping his face.Â
The way he had held you to him around the waist, making you feel unfairly safe, cared for.Â
You never did tell Santino about his whispered words at Naples. What he confessed to you between the shadowed walls of his bedroom. Back then, a large part of you still refused to believe itâbelieve him. Had chalked it up to nothing more than a drunken moment of sentimentality. But thatâs no longer the case. You know better than that now.Â
Three months will have to be enough toâŚ
To say goodbye.Â
Clinging to that memoryâand the understanding that you donât have time to wasteâyou rise to your feet. For what feels like a thousandth time, teeth gritted and jaw set, you still stand despite the knock.Â
Your tent hasnât changed much. Some things are in a different place to where you left them but the knowledge that itâs been waiting for you all this time is like a sledgehammer to the chest.Â
Soon, if things come to pass, it will be your home permanently.Â
You start with changing and washing up, followed by applying the salve you found in a small, ceramic pot onto your skin.
For the burns, the note left on your pillow beside the pot read. You didnât need to ask questions about its origins. You know that penmanship as well as your own after spending endless months studying his research.Â
The Elder has once again thought of everything.Â
The salve is like a soothing, cool caress across your burned, dry skin and the relief is, once again, immediate. A part of you wonders if there will ever come a day when his genius doesnât surprise and intrigue you.Â
Food is harder. Your stomach still churns, and despite your best attempts to quell the sensation of queasiness, it doesnât pass.Â
You force some broth down despite that, chewing everything in front of you on automatic. Made with a loving hand and great care guarantees that the food is delicious yet you taste none of it.Â
Itâs quiet.Â
The roar inside your mind has quietened.Â
Now everything feels cold and far away despite the heat dampening the back of your neck already. The shock has worn off, leaving only throbbing absence behind.Â
A commotion sounds outside your tent and your head snaps to the sound. A second later the flap parts and a familiar, dark spectre of a man walks inside, his eyes already locked onto you.Â
âJohn.â
You jump to your feet at the sight of him, moving towards him in hurried steps. Saad slinks inside behind John and you halt at the sight of his looming frame, your eyes narrowing. So thatâs where heâs been. No doubt watching over the deadliest assassin alive to make sure he doesnât cause problems.Â
John looks relieved to see you, his expression easing as he takes in your new attire. Previously severe contours of his features relax and his chin dips.Â
âV.â
He always manages to pack so much into so little. Itâs like the acknowledgement alone asks a hundred questions.Â
Are you okay?Â
Are you hurt?
What happened?
Though you want to ask him those same questions yourself. He looks terrible. His treatment, clearly, while not awful has not been as hospitable as your own.Â
âSaad,â you address the man, nodding your head towards him. Much like the Elder, he hasnât changed much. A new scar clips the left side of his chin but the rest of him remains the same. From his critical stare, crooked nose, and dark skin. âItâs good to see you again.â
He doesnât smile and his expression doesnât lighten at your words. You didnât expect it to, either.Â
âViper,â he says so bluntly you blink and even John inclines his body towards the man, peering at him from the corner of his eye. âFinally back where you belong.â
Your mouth goes dry.Â
âIâm going back to New York,â you inform him, jutting your chin. âSo Iâm afraid this is a brief visit only.â
Those pitch-black eyes study you for several moments and you canât quite tell whatâs going on behind those empty depths.Â
âYou have ten minutes,â he states briskly, his voice still flat and accent gruff. âThen I am to escort Mr Wick to his transport. Your presence has been requested by the Elder before your departure.âÂ
You straighten at that. John is much the same, his shoulders curving backwards. Those words are also when you notice that John is in a fresh, black suit.Â
âIs there a problem?â you pose coolly, but your old sparring partner only watches you both with palpable distrust.
He glares at you for a beat, still deadly silent, before turning away from you both. âTen minutes,â he grunts, and then heâs gone, the flap swishing in his wake while you listen to his retreating footsteps.Â
âV, what happened?â John asks the moment Saadâs footsteps can no longer be heard. âHe told me he saw you already.âÂ
He. The Elder.Â
Dropping your head in a nod, you turn away from the man behind you, glancing briefly at your shaking fingers. You squeeze them painfully, pressing them against your chest instead, and focus.Â
I can do this.Â
âWe came to an agreement,â you say swiftly, keeping your tone light, and glance at him over your shoulder. Your hand lowers from your chest at the look on his face. John looks confused. Unconvinced. âMy Excommunicado will be lifted once I return to New York. You?â
You knew from the moment the deal was made that telling John would not be wise. You know the man inside this tent. His actions with Santino have proven to you that despite what you might say or do, it wonât change his mind. When it comes to push or shove, John will always shove. And he will shove with enough force to crush the opposition completely.Â
His reaction to learning that you have to go back in three months would only land him in deeper trouble. Usually, you would expect him to maintain his ironlike composure. Very little could ever move John in the first place, especially towards anything rash. But that desperate gleam in his eyes when he told you that he will make up for his mistakes keeps constantly jumping to mind.Â
You donât trust John not to do something drastic right now.Â
He doesnât respond to your inquiry at first. Which gives you plenty of time to notice the sheen of pain exuding from him. You slant your body back towards him when you do, and take several steps closer.
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
Still, he says nothing.Â
Youâre about to demand answers but he simply lifts his hand in the air between you.Â
And you suck in a deep breath at the sight of his missing ring finger.Â
The void is glaring and the finger that was once home for a golden wedding band is gone. As is the ring.Â
âHe wanted to see my conviction to the Table and told me to cut my finger in a show of fealty,â he explains lowly, his voice and expression worn. âI will be bound to it and remember through death after I complete my task. That was his will and my price to pay for survival.â
Itâs so easy, you think in a dazed rush, to forget exactly what the Elder is capable of. He got the deadliest assassin in the world to mutilate himself as a punishment. You would wager he didnât even threatenâhe didnât need to.Â
It makes you painfully aware of what could have happened to you if you didnât have that history with him. If he didnât look at you with all that hidden emotion. If you were just a girl who broke his rules. What would have become of you then? Would you have lost a finger as well? Your whole hand?Â
Would you have been just another casualty to be stomped out? Removed like a tumour because you didnât abide.Â
Suddenly you feel sick all over again.Â
Suddenly all you wantâ
Your arms wrap around him and you squeeze the powerful frame of Johnâs body to you. He seems to deflate, unwind and soften, his arms wrapping tightly around you in return.Â
âIâm sorry.â
Because youâre still angry at him, still bitter about all heâs done, but you care about him despite that, and know how deeply this would have hurt. Physical injury aside, itâs the loss of his ring that would have stung the deepest.Â
John adores Helen still, loves her deeply.Â
Itâs not something that can fade so easily despite death.Â
You felt panicked at the mere prospect of the Elder taking the silver chain around your neck. How did John feel having to lose his finger and his final sign of dedication to the woman he loves?Â
But, it seems, that you have both gotten what you had coming.Â
He, too, will be bound to the Table now. In a different way than you but bound all the same. This desperate, bloody fight to be free and you are both back exactly where you started.Â
Johnâs face presses into you, savouring the contact, and you release him after another minute. It isnât just him that needed this.Â
âI have to tell you something,â he says the moment you pull back.Â
The morose curve of his mouth chills you at once. Comfort, however fleeting, has now left the air between you.Â
âWhat is it?â
âItâs...â
John stares at you for a while. An internal war rages behind his dark eyes and your confusion mounts at his hesitancy. Something is stuck behind his teeth and your stomach sinks the longer the battle goes on inside him.
âItâs about Cassian,â he eventually settles on.
Your brows draw together, caught off guard. Analysing his features closely, you wait to see if he will expand on that but as always John limits himself. He only peers at you but the regret you find lingering in the air around him unsettles you further.Â
âWhat about him?â
He still looks torn and reluctant when his lips part, âAfter we parted. He found me,â he says and your shoulders lift with your forceful inhale. Understanding blooms steadily with every word. âHe wanted revenge. For Gianna.â
The air inside the tent is blistering but you feel it cool by several degrees at those words.Â
You had sworn an oath to Gianna that you will make sure her family name survives beyond her. Now you wear the very ring she and Santino have been struggling to earn their entire lives.Â
Even worse were Cassianâs parting words to you that still haunt you.Â
But if we ever meet again. I will kill you myself.Â
Your mentor and friend. A brother you would have loved to have had.Â
You could drill John about what happened while you were dealing with Lucien. You could accuse him of more wrongdoings and damage. Demand to know why he didnât tell you sooner. Scorn him. Hate him.
But instead, you turn away, and let only one question slip free, the only one that matters, âIs he still alive?â
He answers you honestly.
âI donât know.â
His voice is thick with muted remorse and you nod your head in acceptance of that honesty. You donât say anything in return, still staring at your cot. Focus on the pattern of your old blanket. Â
You feel it bubbling in the air between you and speak up before he can.
âDonât apologise,â you order but itâs empty of fury. You just sound weary. So very weary. âI understand. I justâŚâ
Your eyes slip shut. He was only trying to keep himself alive. Itâs just survival. But it still hurts. In that moment, the urge to give up is near overpowering. It digs deep between your shoulder blades and straight into your heart but you shake it off.
Youâre not getting out of this. Thereâs no hope for you now. You know how this ends.Â
You almost recoil at Kishiâs voice filtering from the deepest recesses of your mind.Â
No. Thereâs still hope. Thatâs exactly why you canât give up. Because there is still hope.Â
âWish it didnât have to be this way?â
Johnâs soft inquiry makes you flinch, snapping you to the present. Your eyes return to him and you examine him for a moment, digesting his words.Â
âYes,â you mumble in agreement, your sadness no doubt palpable. âYes, I do.â
John lowers his head, a few strands of his raven hair tickling his cheek when he does. âDo you ever wonderâŚâ
He stares at the empty space where his finger should be, flexing the remaining ones experimentally. You wait for him to continue but can tell from one look that heâs lost in his head, thinking hard about something.Â
âDo I wonder what?âÂ
Johnâs lips part, then press shut again. His breaths are haggard, slow.Â
âWhat might have happened had I never pushed you back? Never left.â
Youâre not sure what to do with his curiosity. Youâre not even sure how you feel about it. Â
âI used to. Often,â you admit after several minutes of thought. Because what do you have left to hide? Now, perhaps, you can be as open as you wish to be, say everything because itâs not likeâ âThen I realised there was no point to it because you werenât coming back,â you tell him and chuckle weakly, adding an ironic, âWeâre each masters of our own fate.â
Shuffling your feet, you venture closer towards him, and lift your face to his, taking his hand into your own. His knuckles, much like your own, are bruised and swollen. His are worse than yours, however, and with that in mind, you lead him towards your cot. You reach into the still open ointment pot and gather some, rubbing your fingers briefly to warm the salve.Â
Slowly, you drag your fingertips gently over his knuckles. It wonât be as effective as it is for burns but chamomile, echinacea and ginseng inside the salve should still help with healing and soothing the pain.Â
âYou always had the right to choose, John,â you say quietly, frankly, as you work to apply the salve on his other hand as well. Heâs so still youâre not sure if heâs breathing. âThe right to happiness. I understand that now. Itâs always been your right,â you continue, a touch sadder, and your eyes skip upwards to rest on his face. His stare is gentle, his mouth parted while he peers at you. âIâm just sorry that you had to lose it. But to answer your question. No. Not anymore. Itâs been a long time. Weâre different people now.â
You finish applying the salve and release your grip but his fingers tighten around yours before you can.
âMaybe thatâs a good thing,â he says, his words hushed.Â
Your search his face again. Wonder what the future will hold for you both. âYeah, maybe it is.â
A rustle sounds behind you and you turn just as Saad steps back into the tent, his features still rigid with displeasure.Â
âCome with me, Mr Wick,â he instructs sternly and inclines his head in your direction. âThe Elder awaits you.â
Grounding your jaw, you offer the assassin beside you a calm, âIâll see you back at the Continental.â
John turns back towards you. He doesnât look particularly thrilled at your words, a question hanging in the air around him. âAre you sure?â
âYes,â you say, unfazed. You pat his arm once as you pass; an old, routine gesture you havenât done in years. âTell Winston to get my favourite ready. Heâll know the one.â
You brush past them both, chin slanted at a higher angle. Itâs late afternoon by now with the sun starting to dip towards the dunes. The air is still sweltering despite that, and a robed man waiting outside the tent gestures mutely in the direction he wants you to head in.Â
You find the Elder at the edge of the camp, his presence a beacon that draws attention effortlessly.Â
You pause at the sight of him, your shoes sinking into the golden sand beneath. He stares out towards the desert like youâve seen him do a thousand times, and you wonder if heâs thinking about what you asked him years ago. Another ordinary night by the fire over your shared meal.Â
Why not leave again? Why live in a desert?Â
It is my duty.Â
So youâre a prisoner of your own status? That seems lonely.Â
And with his gaze focused on the fire instead of you, he had given you a simple yet serene response, Not anymore.Â
Swallowing thickly, you stand there unmoving, watching him for a while. Something tells you that heâs as aware of you as you are of him.Â
Loneliness is not unfamiliar to you. Itâs a close companion. Has been for years.Â
But youâve found an escape. People to call your own. A sense of belonging.
He hasnât.Â
âIt is peaceful here,â he speaks up suddenly, startling you. âEven as a boy, I loved the desert despite its cruelty. I have grown up appreciating its deadly beauty. Have learned to respect it and admire it.â
âNothing about death is beautiful.â
A brief chuckle flows through the air and he turns to face you, his expression open, his stare narrowed but inquisitive as always. His laced fingers rest against his chest. Â
âYour mind has been sorely missed, viper.â
The longing in those words brushes against your skin and mouth; an invisible kiss, an appreciation.Â
You imagine that will change one day soon.Â
Though it would be a lie to say that you, too, have not missed your discussions. The way you could submerge yourself in conversations with him completely. Lose yourself in his mind and the challenge he constantly posed.Â
âYou wished to see me.â
Your words sound lifeless even to your own ears and his expression drops. He strolls closer while you stand rooted in your spot. Something is different about him now. Heâs missing that edge he had when he saw you earlier. That desperation. Desire. Near darkness.Â
Heâs more controlled now. At ease. Back to the man you knew. Earlier he gave into his desire freely, and you suspect it was only due to long years separating you.Â
âIâm tempted to come with you,â he divulges quietly, like sharing one more secret, and a shiver tears down your spine at those words. He pauses, exhaling, and twists his ring on his finger for seemingly a hundredth time. You didnât realise earlier how habitual touching it had become for him. âBut I do not wish to take this time away from you. So, ya amar, I present you with this.â
From between the folds of his extravagant robes materialises a golden dagger. Your breaths grow shaky before you force them back into a steady rhythm, lifting your eyes to his.Â
âItâs the same one,â you say weakly, your tone questioning. âFrom before.â
The Elder nods and holds out the dagger in the palm of his hand. Itâs the same one he tried to give to you during your first stay here, after your sparring session. Â
Same stunning, elegant design laced with gold around the handle. Black sheath edged by crusted golden detail as well.Â
âEach of my disciples receives a weapon from me personally upon their initiation,â he tells you, his voice soft and melodic, always happy to sate your curiosity. âThis one...is special to me,â his voice lowers, a glimmer passing through his eyes thatâs gone too soon to decipher. âIt is not official yet but I had hoped that one day it will serve you better than it has me.â
He waits for you to take it but you hesitate, staring at it. Your hand hovers over it, outlining the shape of it with your nail.Â
You can still taste him. Like heâs rooted himself inside you now.Â
âYou told me that you understood me,â you begin cautiously, your voice equally as low. âUnderstood the vengeance that drove me. How?â
The Elder examines you closely. A pregnant pause stretches between you and you begin to think he will never respond before he finally reaches out. He grasps your hand in his, turning it till your palm faces the sky, and places the dagger deliberately into it. Watching you keenly, he carefully folds your fingers around it, not releasing your hand even when heâs done.Â
A faint whisper passes his full lipsâand you recognise Darija even if you donât understand itâbut it strikes you asâŚsad. Plagued with some nameless darkness.Â
âOne day,â he starts huskily, now in accented English, and you canât quite read his expression or tone. But itâs some bizarre mix youâve never seen before. A strain and a shadow all at once while he looks you over. âIf you still wish it, I will tell you everything.â
The weight and the finality behind that word makes you shift, uneasy. Youâre not sure if there will even be tomorrowâmuch less one day.Â
But before you can voice that, the Elder lifts your joined hands, pressing his mouth gingerly against your skin; a fleeting flutter that warms the flesh.Â
âLet this be a token of our shared promise to one another.â
He takes one last look at you, his dark gaze inscrutable, and then youâre left alone with only setting sun for company.Â
The dagger in your hand feels like an anchor, and you tip your head backwards, gazing up at the expanse of the sky above.Â
The subway doors hiss open and you lift your head, stepping out onto the platform with other passengers. Youâve spent the majority of the journey here staring at the soles of your shoes, your mind splintering in a thousand directions.
Thereâs too much to do with time so limited.
Your return to New York had been by air. The Elderâs decision, taking into consideration how you felt about water travel.
Itâs funny how you didnât even need to voice such a thing for him to understand it. For him to make sure that the journey back is as painless as possible.
Youâre not sure how John travelled but he did leave first, meaning he should be back in New York already. Until you arrive at the Continental, however, you have no way of knowing for sure.
The fierceness with which youâve missed your home makes your shoulders lock as you cut through the bustling crowd. It should be said that Grand Central is always busy and overflowing with noise. Today is no exception to that. But youâre still a person at the very top of the Wanted list, so you keep your eyes peeled.
Instinctually, you scan the flow of the crowd around you. Strain every sense. Employ everything youâve learned from some of the best in this world.
Step by step, turn by turn, staircase by staircase.
This time, he doesnât catch you off guard.
The mob of people flows around you like a coursing river, hiding you both as you jerk to a mutual stop.
The grip on your wrist is unyielding, painful. The sharpened metal between your fingers trembles under the strain of that grip, and your expression mangles with fury. Acidic, poisonous emotion bubbles up to the surface and you donât bother hiding it.
The man before you smiles at thatâa slight but lovely thingâevery micro-expression laced with fine malice.
âHello, Lucien.â
You stand close enough to be touching, his thin frame still managing to cover your own. Your jaw has become a rigid mass as you glare up at him with open hostility.
âThere you are, snakey,â he hums pleasantly, his thin mouth transforming into a slow, chilling smile. You try to push the blade youâre holding into his gut but his numbing grip remains. âIâve been waiting for you to return. Has he missed you much?â
A couple of friends pass right by you, laughing loudly, and you both jerk again; limbs locking and muscle straining further. Neither of you manages to gain more edge on the other though and Lucienâs smile stretches further.
âAnd I knew you would find me,â you snarl coldly, your eyes narrowing into slits. âI wanted you to find me.â
Knocking his knee with your own, you swipe another blade free and aim it at him. Lucien pushes himself into you in reply, wrapping his arm around yours and halting you in your tracks. The blade scratches against the sleeve of his black jacket, cutting into it, but it doesnât break skin past that. He yanks you closer, your bodies pressing against each other. Youâre both practically embracing. Your limbs a joined, trembling mass from the sheer friction between you.
Itâs a deadlock and youâre too evenly matched.
Youâve been waiting for this chance. For the chance to return the slight that was taking you and wasting precious hours for you over a week ago. Now that you know Santinoâs choice is youâthat you could have avoided this whole mess in the first place had you just had enough time to talk with himâit only makes you more furious.
Youâve been waiting for Lucien to catch up with you.
This time, however, heâs not the hunter, catching unsuspecting prey.
Baring your teeth, you snarl, wrenching yourself backâ
And freeze.
Lucienâs coat parts and this close up a blinking red light catches your eye. As does the beeping your ears hadnât previously picked up with all the noise.
Lucienâs smile turns downright predatory.
âAll these sweet little angels...â he remarks in a sing-song voice, pointedly looking around the crowd, his accent just a little more notable. âReady to watch them all burn?â
A portable bomb.
You should have known.
Thereâs no doubt enough packed in it to blow half the building, if not more. He would likely delight in the idea of the carnage even heâs not alive to see it himself.
Your features creasing at that thought, you demand an incredulous, âYou would kill yourself just to see me die?â
âIâm already dead,â he replies blankly, the tilt of his voice emotionless. âAfter all Iâve done, itâs not about survival anymore. Itâs about me....and you. And one last dance between us.â
Youâre not going to play his games. Despite the confusion his words birth, you only allow a chilly, tepid smile to grace your face. Mocking him openly.
âThen catch me if you can.â
You sweep your foot under his legs. Swift and brutal. Lucien doesnât fall but he does stumble half-a-step back, and you rip yourself out of his grip, dashing through the throng of people.
Youâre not running blindly.
He enjoys the chase and you know he will follow but itâs not fear or desperation leading you this time.
People curse and holler as you shove them out of your way, throwing a few purposely in Lucienâs path. You donât slow down to check if heâs following.
Every trained instinct in your body is screaming at you that he is.
You should have known he would try to use the people at the station against you. Use your close proximity to each other against you too. Heâs learned of the dangers you pose at close combat.
But heâs not the only one to have learned something from your previous encounters.
Focused entirely on your rapidly forming plan, you tear out of Grand Central, the cool air of New York greeting you like an old friend.
Streets blur around you and your heart pumps inside your chest as you round the corner, stumbling. Wind beats against your cheeks and you ignore your harsh breaths, leading Lucien deeper into the heart of the city.
And itâs not his city.
You know every nook and cranny of this concrete anthill.
Skidding and stumbling, you throw yourself behind a building wall, pressing your back against it.
Your lungs quiver, heart pumping, and throat aching from the outright sprint youâve just done.
Lucien should assume the obvious.
That youâre leading him back to the Continental at neck-breaking speed. As you did once before. And you are but not just yet. Thereâs something you have to handle first.
It takes no longer than ten seconds for the commotion to explode from the direction you just came from. Just as expected.
Lucienâs pounding footsteps reach your ears and your arch your back, readying yourself.
A smear of golden hair enters your vision and you throw yourself at him, slashing at his side.
No wires attached to the bomb that you saw. The Lovers are too sophisticated for anything as inelegant and rudimentary as that. Which makes this bomb either remotely detonatable or Lucien has other means by which to set it off.
Which then means that all you need to do is to rip that portion of his coat off him.
Youâre not about to lead him back to your home with a bomb on him.
Lucien crashes onto the concrete sidewalk heavily, you on top of him. His knee drives into your gut and you wince, your fingers tangling into his jacket so he doesnât slip out of your grip. You manage to hold on, hacking against the coarse material wildly. His features contort, realisation as to what youâre trying to do sinking in.
He throws a punch at you but you duck, ignoring his fingers when they sink into your hair, trying to yank you off him. People around you scream as you roll across the concrete, scattering the moment they realise youâre armed.
You have no intention of killing Lucien outright.
He deserves to reap the consequences of his actions just like the rest of you. If thereâs anyone who deserves to be punished for all of this, itâs him. And you will see to it. Lead him back to the Continental and trap him inside like a rat in a maze. Â
See what the Black Dragon does when you offer their little pet as a sacrificial lamb for the High Table.
He yanks on your hair but you swipe upwards, scratching your blade against his skin and he barks a laugh. Few droplets of blood slide down his porcelain skin and you stumble back, staggering onto your feet.
Lucienâs jacket is in tatters and he grabs it, yanking it off himself, and throws it carelessly to one side. You tense when it hits the ground but nothing happens. Youâre not quite sure if itâs just that durable or if it was a fake-outâboth seem equally as likely. âYouâre no fun,â he pouts, watching his hand curiously. Ruby droplets well where you have torn into his skin, and he swipes his tongue across the skin lazily, unconcerned. âBut fair enough.â
âYou and me,â you grit out, glaring down at him as you back up, rolling the blade between your digits with expert ease. He stretches to his full height, too, towering, cracking his neck as he does so. âLetâs dance.â
You peel away, him a second behind you. You know how fast he is and pump your legs till the muscles in your thighs burn from exertion.
Youâre surprised heâs not trying to shoot you like last time but maybe thatâs the point. He doesnât want a quick death for you just like you donât want to kill him till heâs been punished.
Night blurs around you and your eyes narrow in concentration, keeping ahead but just barely. You can hear him right behind you, practically breathing down your neck.
Motorcycles suddenly rev behind you but you donât dare to risk turning around to check. Thereâs more than one engine. Which doesnât bode well for you.
Leaping down the stairwell, you cut through an underground pass. The tunnel amplifies every sound and you hear Lucienâs pounding footsteps behind you. Heâs gaining on you.
Sweat clings to the back of your neck, your cheeks stinging from heat and the cold alike.
You take three steps at a time, jumping up the staircase on the other side of the tunnel in a manner of seconds. It takes several moments before motorcycles sound from behind you againâthey clearly know the route enough to know about the shortcutsâbut you donât let it shatter your concentration.
The staircase of the Continental appears in your vision, so dear and welcomingâ
A weight slams into you from behind and you wince as you both roll across the ground; a wild tangle of limbs.
Scrambling, you punch him right across the jaw before he can get a solid grip on you. Your knuckles twinge with pain but it barely registers. Lucienâs head snaps to the side but he manages to grab your wrists, pinning them to the ground, before you can yank a blade loose.
You drive your knee into his ribs. Once, twice.
Lucien takes it like he can hardly feel it. Teeth gleaming, bared. His grip tightens on you againâthere will be bruises there tomorrow without a doubtâand you roll in a mangled mess once more. Two animals snapping their teeth at each other. The motorcycles draw closer down the street and you squirm when he tries to pin you down again. For being so thin, his strength is impressive. Worrying.
He wants to play games. But youâre far, far more furious than he is.
Your head cracks against his forehead, momentarily blinding and deafening you. Lucien falls back. Wobbling, you do the same. Everything is static noiseâone moment, two, then you force yourself to move. Vision swimming, you kick at his abdomen blindly. Thereâs contact and rolling onto your stomach, you hurriedly scramble onto your feet.
A roar of engines hums through the night air, closing in, and you leap onto the stone stairs ahead of you, gripping onto the concrete.
Safe haven. Home.
Your head slants to look behind you; a victorious, vicious smile spreading across your face even though your forehead hums with numbing pain.
Lucien approaches slowly, a hunter on a prowl. His slick back hair is in a disarray. Flecks of his own blood splattered across his face.
He looks murderous despite the deformed smile still splintering his mouth.
Motorcycles come to a stop behind him and you recognise those dark uniforms anywhere. Black Dragonâs menâjust as you suspected.
You rise to your feet, deliberate but cautious, taking count of the men present. Foot soldiers are hardly a reason for concern. A certain blonde with his raging stare most certainly is though.
âNo one interferes,â Lucien orders, directing his words at the men behind him. âThis is between me andââ
âUs.â
Your heart stills for a second before exploding in a wild flutter inside your chest.
You donât turn around but hear the hotel door behind you crack open, followed by footsteps.
Lucienâs expression morphs with cold viciousness in the face of the new company.
Dario and Julian walk past you first, coming to a stop at the foot of the stairs, effectively blocking Lucienâs path. The Sharpshooter has his twin pistols gripped firmly in each hand, his usually friendly demeanour absent. Only the Camorraâs best stares back; focused and grim. Dario is no better with his arms folding over his broad chest the moment he halts, seemingly only amplifying his domineering presence. He reminds you of a growling grizzly bear, waiting for the slightest of provocations.
Step comes to a standstill beside you, nudging you with his elbow, and you dare to momentarily look away from Lucien to see his grinning face. He wiggles his eyebrows, his round sunglasses still on his face before he leaps down the last several steps. He lands noisily just behind Julian, laughing softly under his breath.
âWhatever issue you have with our boss,â Dario speaks solemnly, his usually warm, rumbling voice void of those things. âWe would caution you to forget about it.â
âGet out of my way,â Lucien hisses lowly, his lips barely moving. âThis doesnât concern you.â
Julian raises his pistols at blinding speed at those words, pointing them directly at Lucienâs face. The Dragonâs men unholster their weapons in response but despite being outnumbered at least one to two, the Elites donât appear concerned.
Youâre not sure if youâre still breathing.
âWe would rather not kill you,â Step chirps happily, leaning his elbow on Julianâs shoulder, before adding a downright chilling, âBut we will.â
Lucienâs expression smoothens, growing remote in its emptiness. His hollow stare drags up till it latches onto youâcold and unforgiving, two black holes.
âYou know you canât hide from me, viper,â he whispers yet his low, throaty words carry through the night air all the same. The Elites donât so much as blink; an impenetrable wall of defence. âWe have unfinished business, you and I.â
âWere they not clear enough for you, huh?â
Your eyes nearly close when the final pair of footsteps comes to a stop beside you. Your attention doesnât waver but you hear the click of a lighter beside you. Itâs followed a second later by a soft crinkle of a smouldering cigarette as Hector draws a deep, tobacco-induced breath into his lungs.
âSheâs our boss,â he declares roughly and you feel your throat close up at his frank statement. âWhich means that you really donât want to start this,â a pointed pause, and another hard inhale of a cigarette before, âSo why donât you go and blow a load into your girlfriend and stop wasting our damn time.â
The atmosphere thickens with tension at Hectorâs crass words but you donât look away from Lucien.
The blonde slants his head, curious. He regards Hector like a bug; an odd, unusual being that makes no sense to him. Like his words are spoken in a foreign language the assassin doesnât quite comprehend.
âBoss,â Lucien echoes softly, making a fine mockery of the word, as he takes a few deliberate steps closer. âIs that suppose to mean something to me?â
The threat in his lovely voice snaps Julianâs hand to one side, the barrel of his gleaming silver pistol pressing into Lucienâs temple just as the tall man places his foot on the Continental staircase. Â
âJulian, donât!â you warm loudly and the Sharpshooter freezes at your command. âItâs what he wants,â you add bitterly, turning your stare towards the blonde who appears completely unconcerned to have a fully loaded weapon digging into his head.
His smug smile stretches, quivering at the corners, his stare almost playful, goading.
Julian obeys, his arm lowering slightly but his pistol remains trailed on the French assassin. The man in question takes his time, deliberately climbing one step at the time, and Hector lowers his smouldering cigarette. Heâs on your right, standing between you and Lucien but the blonde hardly seems to notice that when he comes to a halt, still watching you intently.
âYeah, it really should,â Hector says deliberately, his voice dipping towards seriousness and warning.
Dario and Step are still watching the Dragonâs men closely while Julian has turned with Lucien, his pistols still locked onto the man. Itâs been a long time since youâve seen the Sharpshooter as anything other than grinning and relaxed.
Lucien drags his gaze away from you at long last, his attention switching to the leader of Elites beside you, and you feel the suffocating tension in the air as they both stare each other down.
âI hold no loyalties to anyone for you to threaten me with fancy titles, dog,â the blonde remarks, his voice light, almost friendly, his attention once again returning to you. âBut Iâll see you inside, snakey.â
You donât answer him, choosing to glare right at him and nothing more than that. The lack of reaction seems to dissatisfy him, his lips pressing into a firm, unhappy line. He reaches for youâ
Hector grabs his extended hand with near blinding speed, crushing his wrist in an ironlike grip as he jerks Lucienâs hand backwards, holding him back.
Everyone tenses and Dario pulls his own weapons free when the Dragonâs men try to push closer.
âLet me rephrase that,â Hector hisses quietly, his words thick with warningâno boredom or indifference to be found in his voice now. âSheâs ours. You so much as lay a hand on her and Iâll cut it off and feed it to you.â
The French assassin grins in return, chuckling, his fist clenched to a point his knuckles strain beneath his pale skin. Hectorâs grip only tightens though, the ink of his tattoos highlighted by the lights above.
âYou got that?â he stresses viciously. âOr was I being too obtuse, you bleached French fuck.â
He throws Lucienâs arm back at him and the manâs expression sharpens with a savage sort of rage. Aside from his stormy, narrowed stare, itâs near impossible to tell that Lucien is displeased though. His features might as well be cut from marble.
âYou remind me of someone I knew once,â Lucien muses, still grinning though it looks no better than a sharpened blade. âHe too was an arrogant, blunt tool to be used.â
The blonde hums mockingly, looking Hector up and down.
âGet lost,â he calls out loudly, slanting his headâsomething so harsh in the motion you half-expect to hear his neck crackâtoward the Dragonâs men. âI donât need you here.â
Confusion follows those words but Lucien only cuts one last look your way before strolling calmly into the hotel.
Youâre not going to stop him because heâs exactly where you need him to be. He will stay to try and wait you out. Which is exactly what you want and need. Time.
Biting back a grin, you briefly glance at Hector who meets your inquisitive stare and turns towards the Dragonâs men who look unsure as to what they should do.
âAre you deaf?â he snaps loudly. âGet lost.â
Step moves first, bouncing up the stairs till heâs right in front of you. He parts his arms, waiting for you to show if youâre in the headspace to be touched andâŚ
You wrap your arms around himânear crushing and strong, squeezing his wiry frame to you with all the strength you possess inside your body. The hackerâs arms lock equally as tightly around you despite Hectorâs snort.
âWeâve been worried about you, carina,â he mumbles against your cooling neck, and you watch Dragonâs men clearing the entrance of the hotel over his shoulder. âEverythingâs gone to hell.â
âWe should take this inside,â Dario speaks up, finally lowering his weapons, and Julian does the same though his grip on them doesnât loosen. âItâs not safe for you out here, V.â
You release Step from your death grip with a nod and a pat on his shoulder. He flashes you a quick smile but it looks strained. They all look tense, grim-faced, and tired. Still deadly though, and focused as always.
Julian opens the glass doors and steps inside, his pistol raised like he expects Lucien to leap at you from the shadows.
The hour is late and the reception area, for once, feels eerily quiet. No Lucien in sight though.
You havenât even noticed how theyâve positioned themselves around you. Hector is still on your right, Julian at the front and Dario taking the rear while Stepâs arm ghosts on your left.
Your throat aches, something coiling inside your heart.
You feelâŚ
Protected. Safe.
It robs you of speech for a solid minuteâthat realisation.
Youâve lived with them for a year. Ate, trained and bled with them. But it feels different now for some reason you canât explain.
Youâve grown so used to fighting your battles alone that having someone on your side feels surreal.
Even more surprising is Hectorâs compliance. You hadnât expected him to fall into the role of your temporary right hand so easily. Or to be as open about your position, and his by extension, at your side. You hadnât even expected him to stand in defence of you, unlike the other three.
But Hector has always valued Camorra above all else. Personal prejudices aside, he will always do his duty. It is, perhaps, the one thing youâve always admired the most about him. His unfailing loyalty.
If you died now it would only cause further chaos and headaches for him.
Seeing all of them again, however, fills you with such immense relief you can hardly speak.
âSantino?â is the first thing you manage to wheeze out. âAres? Roberto? Howâhow are they?â
With each step, you shed your momentarily lapse reminding yourself that this is no time to feel sentimental.
Hector answers you promptly, as would be expected of him, âPrinceling woke up several hours ago,â he states calmly and you notice that he no longer has his cigarette. He must have dropped it outside. Despite that, your sensitive nose still catches a whiff of tobacco every time his lips part. âAres is with him. Roberto is stable.â
You practically stumble to a stop. âHe woke up?â you whisper, your voice breathy with fragile hope.
Hectorâs stare is critical but lacking his usual irritating superiority. Surprisingly. âYeah, asked after you,â he reveals bluntly, and you can feel others monitoring your reaction to those words. âHe thought Wick killed you.â
Your heart clenches painfully at that.
He got shot in the head and his first worry when he woke up had been you?
But the knowledge that he has regained consciousness, had been coherent enough to even speak, nearly crumbles your self-control again. Relief churning through your veins is immeasurable. Dizzying.
You want to demand a thousand things but instead push yourself to focus, âWe have to move him to the penthouse. Immediately.â
One of Hectorâs eyebrows arches at that. But itâs Dario that speaks first, âWhy?â
You glance between the four of them silently. No one else seems to be around. In the distance, even the reception desk sits empty, and itâs the first time in seven years that youâve seen it unmanned.
Whatâs going on? Where is Charon?
âBecause sheâs not here,â you tell them, still slightly out of breath due to your earlier sprint, and your words soften with bitterness. âThe Female Lover. Divide and conquer seems to be the most logical course for them to follow now.â
It would make sense. Split attacks and lay traps. Force your hand with pitting Lucien against you because they no doubt know that Santino is being kept safe between these walls. Put danger right here on your doorstep so you are forced to act.
The Four exchange wary looks and you note them at once.
âWe already moved boss,â Julian informs you before you can ask, his strong eyebrows curving and feet shuffling. You can almost hear the grimace in his voice. âRight after the visit from an Adjudicator earlier. We figured it was no longer safe for him to stay since they demanded to see him.â
âDonât look so surprised, sweetheart,â Hector mutters under his breath, folding his arms with a slight roll of his eyes. âSome of us are actually good at doing our jobs. Removing him from the Tableâs direct jurisdiction was the best thing to do at the time.â
âThen where the hell is he?â
Step winces. âThe penthouse,â he tells you and immediately lifts his hand in a pacifying manner while your eyes close. âBut Flavio and others are with him. Heâs protected. He was moved discreetly. No one saw a thing. I was watching all the cameras myself.â
Biting back a sigh, you mull over his words and huff a breath. âThen why are you not with him?â
âBecause once Mr Wick arrived here in a ratherâŚloud manner,â Dario begins and your attentions slides to him. âWe knew you will not be far behind. With trouble likely on your heels. We had no way of contacting you and splitting up would have drawn too much attention. Step worked entire day trying to pin the Lovers down to one location but they kept popping up all over the city. Theyâve been circling.â
So they stayed here to keep enemy eyes pinned on the hotel, giving them time to move Santino in secret.
Sometimes you forget how brilliant they are.
âThey were waiting for me to come back,â you assume.
Dario inclines his head, his stare firm, and strong eyebrows curved. âOur duty is to protect you as well, V.â
Your blink at those resolute words, caught off guard.
Step is grinning cheekily but the other two stand with sombre air surrounding them. Hectorâs expression is stony but he doesnât disagree, either.
Before you can thank them or say anything else, a realisation slices through you like a bolt of lightning. A sickly feeling of quicksand gobbles you up in a matter of seconds, and you battle down the urge to kick something.
âCircling,â you repeat numbly, nearly biting your tongue because you already know the answer before you bother continuing. âAnywhere near the penthouse?â
You direct that question at Step and the latter stills, his grin wilting. âClosest ping I got was four blocks out.â
âFuck.â
Your head slants backwards and you bite out an even more vicious, âFuck.â
âV?â
Your head drops back and your expression is no doubt unforgiving. âGet to the penthouse right now,â you order, not even bothering to make it sound like a request. âThis is their plan. For me to get here so she has the go-ahead to attack while Santino is alone. Theyâve been waiting for you to move him. They knew you did. Thatâs why the male Lover let it go. Why heâs not here right now.â
Lucien is no doubt putting their plan into motion. Dismissing Dragonâs men was about giving you a false sense of security.
âWhat about you?â Julian wonders quietly though his tone doesnât lack urgency. Dario already has his phone pressed to his ear, no doubt calling the security at the penthouse.
You want to go.
YouâŚ
âI canât,â you choke out even though it kills you to admit it. âIf I go, I lead Lucien and god knows who else straight back to Santino.â
The Lovers are no doubt hoping for that outcome. But you can keep them separated too. Weaken them. It just means trusting the Elites with Santinoâs life completely. They will be taking the brunt of Mikaâs and the Black Dragonâs attack.
You look towards Hector but find him already gazing at you, his harsh features drawn into a pensive expression. His eyebrows sit contracted into a tight line and his eyes go to Step.
Darioâs muffled murmurs cease then, and he lifts his head, ending the call with a single touch against the glowing screen. âThereâs been nothing so far butâŚâ
âCan you isolate any incoming attacks?â Hector demands and Step pulls out his phone the moment those words leave the leaderâs mouth, scrolling and tapping rapidly. âGet to the penthouse. Julian call the rest of the men. The ruse is up. Tell everyone to get their asses there right now or Iâll kill them myself. Go.â
Itâs a testament to how much they trust each other that they move as oneânot questions askedâonly pausing monetarily before you, and it takes you a full second to realise that theyâre waiting for your approval.
Right. Youâre their boss. Even if only temporarily.
You nod twice; shaky and a touch frantic.
âCapo.â
Youâre not even sure which one of them says it, or if itâs all of them in unison, but a shiver tingles down your neck all the same.
Hector hesitates, still standing rooted in his spot, his stare probing but he doesnât make a sound until the hurried footsteps of the other Elites fade.
âYouâre planning to go after him.â
Itâs a statement, direct and shrewd, and you see no reason to deny it. âPromise me you will kill her,â you insist sternly, your eyes meeting for a charged moment. âDonât let her touch him.â
Hector strolls past you, his hands in his pockets. âConsider it done,â he shoots back flatly, pausing beside you once again but doesnât turn towards you. You simply stand shoulder to shoulder in the empty lobby. âSomething else is going on here. The Frenchie isnât the only one you should watch out for. Some bald asshole followed Wick, and this Adjudicator seems a little rule happy and not in a good way,â he concludes pointedly.
âIt doesnât matter,â you respond mildly, your voice vacant and low, distant. âThey canât touch me. No one can now.â
The dagger against your side feels like itâs scorching into your skin.
Hector turns to face you at that but you donât do the same. His weighty stare digs into your temple for several moments but you ignore it. Expectation hangs heavy in the air between you but you donât explain yourself further. There is no point.
He scoffs under his breath, managing to sound as dismissive and derisive as always. The nearby heat of his looming frame disappears, his footsteps echoing against the marble as he saunters away.
But the way he had the foresight to move Santino nags at you, as do his actions outside on that staircase only minutes prior.
Andâ
âHector?â
His footsteps fade into a stop, and you turn your face towards him.
âWhat now, sweetheart?â he calls out impatiently, peering at you over his shoulder as well. âWant a back rub with all of that?â
Normally something like that would have angered you, dug under your skin, pissed you off. Now thoughâŚ
âThank you.â
He doesnât outwardly react to your words, not even a twitch of his facial muscles. He only stares at you for a long minute completely silent. Youâre not quite sure what to make of that reaction.
âWhatever.â
His back disappears through the door leading outside and you turn back towards the reception desk.
Time to get some answers.
You hear him before you see him.
The dog leaps at you with a happy bark, his tongue lolling to one side when he lifts his nose eager to give you kisses.
His presence here shocks you but only because you know for a fact that the Continental doesnât do animal boarding. Everything lately has felt like an avalanche of one thing after another that you havenât stopped to think about what may or may not have happened to him. Or where he might be staying after Johnâs home was destroyed.
Despite not seeing him in a few weeks, he seems no less thrilled to see you.
âHey, Cheeseburger,â you greet with the first genuine smile in a week, your features softening. You bend down to pet him, rubbing behind his ears and he only tries to lick you with more fervour, a happy doggy grin splitting his face. âHave you been good?â
A small bark escapes him, tail wagging so quickly itâs a blur, and your smile grows.
âMiss.â
Your eyes skip ahead, and relief whispers through your chest, an invisible coil loosening when you spot Charon standing ahead of you. As always his posture is bowstring straight, his suit pressed neatly, and eyes watchful over his glasses.
âCharon.â
Youâve missed him. So dearly. Seeing his face is like a much-needed balm against your tattered nerves.
His voice is as low and soothing as always when he offers a cordial, âWelcome back.â
His words might as well be an embrace and your smile wobbles momentarily. There has been a large part of you that was convinced you would never see him or Winston again.
You try not to think about your deal now. About leaving just when you got them back. Right now all that matters is that youâre here.
Still stroking Cheeseburgerâs head, you stand back to your feet, ignoring the twinge of discomfort in your muscles when you do.
âItâs good to be back.â
Charon starts approaching you but a voice cuts in before he can say anything else.
âThe Vipress.â
Your smile slides off your face when a short, bald man with a fixed smile and a wide-eyed stare appears from behind the concierge.
Hectorâs warning springs to mind at once, and your eyes briefly flicker towards Charon whose expression remains impassive. A certain strainâdisdain, evenâcan still be found in his overall bearing, however. Â
Charon is not one to dislike people often, and certainly not openly. Though to most he would no doubt appear as detached and professional as always you can tell the difference. Youâve known him for years after all. Â
âDo we know each other?â you wonder neutrally, your palm ghosting over a concealed blade despite the no-business rule. Not a scowl or even a whisper of a frown shows but your voice slides into something apathetic all the same.
The man dressed in all black wanders closer. His stance is relaxed, expression friendly, but you see the assessing gleam in his eyes, the brittleâalmost meanâedge to his slight grin. It makes you feel like heâs in on some joke youâre missing out on.
Despite being on the shorter side and his near deceptive demeanour, you donât fail to take count of the precise way he movesâa trained, likely deadly individual, and your attention settles on him like a sharpened blade against his throat.
Though your body language doesnât outright change, you know he, too, notes the shift in you in those several seconds that pass between him stopping just a little ahead of you.
Cheeseburger licks your fingersâblissfully ignorant of the uneasy atmosphereâand you drag your fingertips over his head tenderly. Â
âNo,â the man answers shortly, still smiling what he no doubt hopes to be a friendly smile though it hardly is. âBut I know of you. Tokyo still remembers your name.â
Your heart stutters for a single second, feeling the slice of those calm, unassuming words. But you can tell from the way his lips flutter just slightly that he chose his words carefully. A deliberate dig and he examines your reaction closely, so you show him nothing.
The man ventures closer yet again, seemingly encouraged by whatever he sees, and extends his gloved hand your way. âBut where are my manners? I am Zero.â
His hand hangs in the air between you and Charonâs stare settles on you. He doesnât interfere though, or comments.
Not taking his hand would be rude but expected. People know of your aversion to touching strangers. However, it would also put you on a backfoot after his previous dig, and the last thing you want is someone that worries even Hector to smell weakness.
With that in mind, you slot your smaller hand into his, your grips equally as constrictive, âGood to meet you,â you say, your voice bland, dropping his hand after another forced twitch of your lips. âNow if you excuseââ
âI was still in training when you killed Kishi of Tokyo,â he declares loudly, freezing you mid-turn, and your eyes meet Charonâs again before you look back at the newcomer. Youâre not quite sure what to make of his strange stare or fragmented little smile. âWe knew each other. But not much,â he continues, no doubt purposely ignoring your disinterested, borderline hostile stare. âMaybe I should express my gratitude. If it were not for you, I would not be what I am today.â
He even bows his head. Like youâre his comrade. Like youâre one and the same.
Still, you say nothing, and Zero chuckles loudly before it cuts off abruptly. A new gleam glows in his eyes, and it doesnât surprise you when Charon comes to a stop beside you. The concierge cuts for a silent but foreboding figure all the same.
Zeroâs expression twists with amusement upon spotting that silent gesture, and he presses his hand over his chest. âYouâll have to forgive me, Iâm a bitâwhat do they sayâa little starstruck,â he apologizes but it feels more like oil on your skin followed by another gleaming smile. âMeeting the John Wick and the Vipress in a span of a single night. Legend of the old and legend of the new. The shadow that hides the snakeâthatâs what they still say about you two.â
You work hard to not let anything slip. Youâve known about your legacy in Tokyo for some time nowâyour and Johnâs both. You did what no one has done before. Escaped. Survived. John slaughtered his way through Kishiâs men to make sure no one ever followed you back.
It didnât change much in the end. That nightmare of a manâhis phantom, at leastâstill haunts you to this day. It chills the blood in your veins to be standing out here now and be discussing him so openly. Especially with someone who supposedly knew him.
Youâre not sure if youâre strong enough to engage with this conversation. Thereâs only so many ghosts you can handle in such a short span of time.
âI wish to see the manager,â you announce instead, your stare not leaving the assassin before you.
There is a flare of fury at the dismissal but itâs brief, and once it passes, it leaves a man that reminds you of a mannequinâdeflated and lacking life, formless like a ghost.
âSir and Mr Wick are currently meeting in the administrative lounge, Miss,â Charon answers promptly but then adds a deliberate, âThe manager, however, has expressed his desire to see you at once upon your return.â
Even if Winston hadnât, something tells you that Charon would have said that regardless. Like you know him, he knows you. He understands perfectly well how shadows of your past belong there. Rattling them now would be dangerous.
Nodding, you force yourself to keep a polite facade, the assassin receiving a rather forced, âMr Zero.â
Certainly the best he could hope for. Or should. Still, you feel proud of yourself for managing to contain yourself. For not letting him bait you into action because he no doubt was hoping for a reaction, perhaps even a confrontation. That would be easy, expectant.
Zero doesnât look pleased about the outcome of the conversation at all. His easy-going, faux adoring demeanour splintering around the edges. The man before you tries to hold the pieces together but you notice the cracks all the same.
Lowering your chin, you raise your palm towards Cheeseburger, âStay.â
The dog releases a small whine at the order but does as heâs told, sitting back on his hind legs, his ears perked up. That alone almost brings another smile to your face.
Your arm drops back to your side and you offer Charon another look that says a silent keep an eye on him.
Your footsteps echo as you cut through the hallways of the hotel, passing a few faces as you do. Zero doesnât follow and youâre glad for itâfor some reason, a part of you had expected him to.
Throughout your journey, you feel eyes tracking you. No one says anything or moves towards you though. You half expect Lucien to leap at you from every shadowed corner but heâs nowhere to be seen. You want to worry that maybe he truly did leave the hotel and hightailed it for the penthouse but it wonât be logical for him to miss out on this chance.
Lucienâs interestâfixationâwith you has always felt deeply personal. More than a simple job or a hit. It never felt like he took as much interest in Santino as he did in you. Certainly surprising considering that from you two, itâs Santino with the biggest power reserve behind him. Enough to crush the Lovers if he came into his power as he now has. Youâve thought about this once before but maybe then you had things wrong.
Despite you being the bigger physical threat, removing Santino first would have been more logical. It would have isolated you. Left you without support.
Lucien never showed much eagerness in Santinoâs removal aside from making an occasional threat to rile you up from the start.
Why?
Is it truly just conviction that you are alike? An obsessive there can only be one mentality?
With that thought lodged like a splinter inside your mind, you step into the elevator, shoving the partition roughly with a metallic click.
The elevator jolts when you press the appropriate floor button, falling back against the metal wall on your journey.
Everything is so loud itâs somehow quiet. Or maybe youâve just gotten better at ignoring it.
Itâs a short trip and when the elevator halts you pull the metal partition slowly this time, perking your ears for any unusual sounds.
Thereâs nothing.
Youâve never liked the administrative lounge much. Unlike the rest of the hotel thatâs always oozed an old, rustic charm, this space has always felt cold and clinical on the few, rare occasions you visited Winston up here. Frankly, itâs never been the type of place you enjoyed visiting then, and you donât suspect that will change any time soon.
The neon laser lights and glass as far as the eye can see. Visually itâs a masterpiece of architecture but it always made you feel uneasy. Like a rat caught in a crystal maze. Being back here now reminds you eerily of the gallery you had to chase John through, nearly losing everyone dear to you in the process.
Grabbing a blade from a secure sown-in compartment inside your coat, you move up the staircase soundlessly.
It doesnât take long for faint, muffled voices to reach you. Slowing down further, you approach one step at a time. With each step, Winstonâs calm baritone becomes clearer. You stop abruptly when his words start registering properly.
ââbut youâre having doubts?â he calls out, sounding knowing and in control like usual. âBecause you know that she will never forgive you if you do this. Will never let you into her heart again. Sheâs the only thing you still have left to lose,â he goes on, and your eyes widen when you realise who exactly heâs discussing. What the hell is going on? You know heâs talking to John but⌠âThis is all assuming she can find it in herself to forgive you for your actions in regards to one Santino DâAntonio in the first place.â
You canât see them from here. Youâre above them by at least an entire flight of see-through glass stairs. Shifting your weigh, you move closer, holding your breath and sinking lower towards the ground to not alert them of your presence.
âI understand perfectly well, Johnathan, this is nothing personal,â Winston continues and for once you truly find yourself hating how calm he sounds. Youâve never seen the manager caught off guard. Itâs everyone else he outmanoeuvres with expert ease. But personal? Whatâs personal? âIf you feel like you must. Put a bullet through my heart. The High Table has asked me to step down one way or another.â
You almost stumble.
What?
Itâs then that a memory springs forward. Of the tent. Johnâs conflicted expression and his words.
Elder gave you time to say goodbye but you had to make a deal. What if John had to make one too? He mentioned a task; a task he never got time to explain further. Only a vague mention of one.
But he had wanted to, you realise with sinking dread, the moment he saw you, he wanted to.
Johnâs punishmentâhis true punishmentâis sacrificing his oldest friend in a show of fealty to the Table and killing him.
The lukewarm metal between your digits nearly falls to the ground at that realisation. Â
But whyâ
âThe hour?â Johnâs gruff voice speaks at long last.
A distracted hum, then confirmation, âThe hour.â
âYou should have killed me when you had the chance,â John says bluntly. âKilled us both.â
You gnash your teeth together, feeling the grind of bone inside your skull as you slink closer, taking it one stair at a time. Unhurried and precise. Just how John himself taught you.
Distantly, you hear Winston agree followed by muted footsteps against the gleaming floor. Is he moving away from John or towards him?
âIn the years youâve been away, Johnathan, I have come to learn that loyalty is a peculiar thing,â the manager muses, his voice thoughtful, but you hear the deliberateness he puts into each word he speaks. There is an odd quietness to his voice thoughâthe type of youâve only heard a handful of times. âHard to earn, quick to break,â a long pause supersede those words and you come to a standstill as well, straining your ears. âBut not always. It can sometimes be obtained by the most unlikely of individuals during the most unlikely of times.â
Youâre not quite sure what exactly John gleans from those words but he does seem to take away something you miss. âYouâre not stepping down, are you?â
âNo,â Winston states evenly. âI donât think I am.â
âSo itâs war,â John declares, sounding just as bewildered as you feel, and you know itâs a rarity for him to let his emotions slip so easily. But this is⌠âYouâre going to war with the High Table.â
Once you had joked about it. You were left cranky after yet another job for Tarasov, and had come back to the Continental worn after days of dealing with less than hospitable conditions. Winston had listened to your rant like usual.
What if I just killed Tarasov now?
Newspaper and brandy in hand, Winstonâs reply had been unamused, You get killed.
Not if you help me. You and I, I bet we could take the Table on.
It was a joke back then. Nothing more than a throwaway, snarky remark you had made as a way to alleviate some pent up stress. A momentarily reprieve from the helplessness youâve always felt in the face of your circumstances. Itâs one of the few things that has helped you stay sane over the years.
It was long before you met the Elder and learned you could kill Tarasov without consequences once the debt was repaid.
Itâs only now that you realise that Winston never did give you a response to that offhand statement. Joke or otherwise.
Itâs only now that you stupidly realise that the idea of war shouldnât surprise you at all. That perhaps deep in your bones you always knew there was a possibility of one.
Maybe Winstonâs dedication to upholding rules and order always blinded you to the fact that despite that obedience he wasnât afraid of them.
That which terrifies othersâeveryone, even you and Johnâhas never affected the manager in the same manner.
Heâs not afraid of the High Table. Or to move against them if he sees fit.
âIâve made my decision. A long time ago now,â Winston remarks, and you edge closer, catching the first glimpse of him through the crack in the stairwell. âBack when I had to watch Charon carry a dying girl through the very halls of this fine establishment. A girl that you left behind. And now, itâs time for you to choose as well.â
Oh.
Youâve always privately considered Winston and Charon to be your family. One you werenât quite allowed to have but chose for yourself despite how foolishly sentimental it was. A bond that was forged through years of knowing each other. Struggling together. Practically living together.
It never once crossed your mind that it was a feeling returned at least to some degree.
That alone makes you look at the entire conversation youâve just heard in a new light.
âChoose what?â
Winston stands in front of John, his hand extended towards the assassin. In the managerâs weathered handâa fine mockery of a week ago when he first declared you both Excommunicado, and even worse, of the Elder offering you the golden dagger at your sideâsits a pistol.
The older man gives John a shrewd stare, and if you didnât know any better you would say that heâs disappointed John is not catching on quicker.
âOh, but you already know,â he states flatly, moving his hand in a vague motion. âItâs the same choice youâve been struggling for the last five years now. Between who you are and who you wish to be. You kill me, you sell your soul to the Table.â
All you can see is the back of Johnâs head, his crop of black hair standing out like a dark spot against the glossy, blue tint of the lounge.
He thinks about Winstonâs words for a bit.
âBut I also live and remember Helen.â
Once those words might have caused a burn of pain but now all you feel is a nudge of sadness and a joyless sort of understanding. Youâve accepted the fact that there will always be a part of John that will always love Helen.
Youâve just hopedâŚ
âHelen loved you, John. She truly did,â the manager agrees, something just a touch warmer to be heard in his intonation. âAnd you love her. You only came back because she was taken from you. But sheâs also gone and sheâs not coming back. You go ahead with this and you lose V forever, and I know that alone is stopping you.â
There is a scathing sort of finality to the last part and Johnâs slightly lowered head lifts.
âSo I guess my question to you, then, is who do you wish to die as?â Winston asks though it does sound like a fine line between an inquiry of genuine curiosity and an authoritative demand. âBaba Yaga. The living nightmare and the last thing so many have seen. The servant of the High Table. Or as a man who wasâand likely still isâloved by two wonderful women.â
John doesnât move or say anything. That heaviness hangs across his shoulders, burdening him with yet another choice.
The problem is the fact that what you told him back at the desert still applies.
You donât trust his word. Youâve been burned too harshly by recent events to do so.
With that in mind, you drop your guise, walking the remainder of the stairs with deliberate heaviness. Purpose.
Both men turn at the sound of your advancing footsteps. The formerâs expression lightens, a clever gleam catching your eye. John looks weary, almost like heâs readying himself for another battle, another storm that is your raging fury.
You have little appetite for that though.
Too much is going on right now. The Elites could be battling against the Female Lover and the Black Dragonâs men right now. You need to find Lucien and figure out a way to keep him here. Inform the High Table. Find out who started this hunt in the first place. Who knows about Chicago.
âWinston.â
A slight smile ghosts over the managerâs face. âWelcome home.â
It hurts.
Because it feels so good to hear him say that. To feel welcome and missed. Even if you know itâs as much about drawing that line in the sand for Johnâan unspoken You vs Us.
John doesnât fail to take count of the blade in your hand, neither does Winston.
A suspended kind of silence shrouds you three. If John really thinks that you will let himâ
Footsteps.
You all turn in the direction of a tall, graceful figure clad in all black moving briskly down the steps.
The icy blue stare and black, short-cropped hair are all unfamiliar to you.
âMr Wick and Miss Vipress,â the newcomer greets in a cool and collected manner, gripping a pair of leather gloves in one hand. âIt is a pleasure to finally meet you both. Iâm an Adjudicator.â
Shit. Of course they are. It makes sense for one to come and adjudicate the hotel after John shot Santino at practically point-blank range inside these very walls.
The hour.
Winston overstepped his position by offering you that hour. By helping you and John out.
Now heâs paying for it.
When neither you nor John say anything in return, their head slants in Winstonâs direction, unperturbed. âHave you decided to step down?â
You would think theyâre asking if the cookies are ready to come out of the oven. Their voice is as empty as their stare despite the gravity of their question. But the Adjudicators are often cold and distant. Dedicated to upholding the rules of the High Table even more so than the hotel managers are. To expect pity or mercy from one never bodes well. Â
Winston greets that indifference by no less bored, âI donât think I will.â
A quick tilt of their chinâoffended, criticalâand they turn towards John instead. Â
âAnd you?â they demand, a notable sharpening to their tone. âWill you be pulling a bullet in his head?â
You tense at those words, your body instinctively moving in front of the manager. Â
Johnâs ponderous scrutiny falls on you but you donât take your attention away from the Adjudicator. Is what Winston said true? Are you really the only thing John still has left to lose?
Youâre not sure ifâ
âNo,â he says, quiet but resolute. âI donât think I will.â
The High Table representative examines you three with a flicker of disbelief as well as irritation. You canât help but wonder if this is the first time they encountered such blatant dismissal of their authority.
âSo be it.â
They turn on their heels creating at least several meters in distance between you. A phone appears in their hand and they dial, bringing the phone to their ear with an effortless air of superiority.
All you manage to catch from where you stand is the very end of the conversation. âThe Continental Hotel, New York,â an imposing proclamation followed by swift damnation. âDeconsecrated.â
The Adjudicator spins towards them, approaching leisurely as they gave each of you a measured, speculative look.
âThis institution has hereby been deconsecrated,â they state flatly, appraising you all with aloof, disinterested air. Like you have just become less than human in their eyes and nothing more than trash to be taken out. âAs such business may now be conducted on Continental grounds. Since you are refusing to step down,â they continue, their tone icy and pointed glaring digging into Winston, then John, âAnd you are refusing a direct order, your lives are now forfeited.â
Much to your surprise, the Adjudicatorâs bright eyes come to rest on you next. âIt is my advice to you Miss Vipress that you vacate the premises immediately,â they warn but the words lack much care aside from mild impartiality. âThe High Table emissaries will be joining you shortly to see to the removal of your souls from the property,â they add to the two men on either side of you.
The Black Dragon men.
With that, the Adjudicator turns to go but your voice halts them before they take further than a step, âThis hotel is my home,â you profess tightly, something slippery and raw in that string of words. An old ache; a new longing. Ironlike, unshakeable conviction shines the brightest though. âIf you want it, you will have to take it over my cold, dead body.â
Another tilt of chin that makes you think reptile; coldblooded and dispassionate. âThat can be arranged.â
A snarl pulls your lips back. âCan it?â you wonder, your words soft but deliberate. âYou may wish to double-check that.â
The Adjudicator visibly pauses at that, and itâs the first sign of uncertainty you glimpse in their armour. The first time it takes them a moment to settle on their next course of action. Faint sourness lines their dignified features while they study you, considering your words no doubt.
âGood evening to you.â
Your glare is hot enough that youâre surprised the Adjudicator doesnât catch on fire the moment their back is turned to youâand rather bold of them to turn their back on two master assassins after what theyâve just doneâand your fingers itch.
Johnâs fingers snap around your wrist, holding firm and stilling your rising hand. âDonât.â
The red haze lifts and you relax your jaw. Itâs only after he sees your posture loosen that he releases his grip, his fingertips lingering against your inner wrist as if savouring the contact.
On your right, Winston heaves a weary sigh. âThis haven is safe no more.â Â
Your eyes lower and you try to process whatâs just happened.
Continental is the only sanctuary youâve ever knownâthe only one youâve ever neededâand something in your gut churns. Itâs a deadly, potent mix that makes you force a calming breath.
John breaks the silence firstâa rarity, but you suppose this week has been full of those. âAre the services still off-limits to us?â
Winston looks to you first, taking you in, and you wonder what he finds in your no doubt murderous expression and blazing glare. Every muscle coiled tight and ready to spring.
Destruction hums in your blood, screaming for retribution and you want to indulge in it.
They should be terrified of you, the Elderâs voice reminds you.
âConsidering the fact that Vâs Excommunicado was lifted minutes prior and this interesting change in circumstancesâŚâ
He fades off for a moment, giving you both another thoughtful look that tells you heâs fully appreciating who exactly is about to stand in defence of his hotel. âWhat do you need?â
NF3 NC6.
Youâre a statue rooted at Winstonâs side.
The four of youâJohn, you, Winston and Charonâwait for the elevator to grind to a halt, Cheeseburger sitting patiently between you and John. Ever the loyal companion.
âWe have another problem,â you declare with a subdued sigh, dragging your eyes over the metal cubicle youâre trapped in. Even years later the fear of being a trapped animal unable to escape hasnât quite faded from memory.
The manager clicks his tongue in reply, leading you all out of the elevator and towards the massive vault door sitting at the end of a short hallway. Guardsâwhat few cemented their loyalty to the hotel and Winston himselfâdot the length of it, watchful and awaiting their orders.
âSplendid,â the man shoots back dryly. âNot like we have plenty of those already.â
âThe Male Lover is here,â you inform him, ignoring his snark. âHe followed me.â
Winstonâs mouth curves downwards at that. He places his hand on a palm scanner, waiting. âAs expected,â he offers in return, his tone challenging. âYour next move?â
âHe knows something that he shouldnât,â you answer promptly, fiddling with your fingers. John and Charon are silent behind you but you know theyâre also missing a lot of context behind the conflict, especially the former. âAbout Chicago. I intend to find out how and from whom. ThenâŚâ
Well.
Your plan till about ten minutes ago was to capture him and keep him here. Feed him to the High Table. Exact your justice by other means.
Now though...
Itâs war.
The hotel has been stripped of its immunity. People are on the way to kill Winston and John. Charon by default. Even the staff if they get in the way, though the order to evacuate has been sounded already.
If you stand with them you, too, become an enemy.
The choice is simple. Easier than most things in your life have been, and it sits right in your gut.
If the High Table wants the manager standing in front of you, they will have to go through you first. And youâre capable of unleashing a lot of damage before they ever manage to get close enough to touch him.
But this also means that there will be no divine justice at the end. By the decree of the Adjudicator, people can now spill blood freely between these walls. Thereâs nothing stopping Lucien from attacking you anymore. Nor will he miss such an opportunity. Â
A confrontation between you two can only end one way now.
âThen I deal with him,â you finally mutter, your jaw locking with resolute firmness.
An eyebrow quirked, Winston gestures inside, going straight for the drinks cabinet. You head right without prompting, going for a very special compartment safe built into one of the wallâs inside the vault.
Youâve had it installed years ago gradually filling it full with the passage of months and then years.
Not wasting time, your palm settles on the scanner, ignoring the code pad entirely. A beep sounds and a muted green light bathes your skin a second later. A hiss follows and thenâ
âThatâsâŚimpressive.â
Johnâs voice behind you should not surprise youâand it doesnâtâbut it does make you tense. Shrugging, you risk a glance in his direction to see what he makes of your collection. The quiet, impressed way his eyes drag over each shelf betrays both his surprise, and even a shade of wariness.
Vials upon vials all line the massive cabinet of three separate compartments folding outwardsâcustom made just for this. Labels hug each vial neatly, all of them lined up in an orderly fashion based on use and colour. The rest of the cabinet houses some of your rarest and most expensive ingredients. Carefully hidden in the most secure location you can think ofâor it was till about fifteen minutes ago.
âIt took me a while,â you admit though the tension in your tone and body donât ebb away. âA lot of trial and error. And throwing up.â
Youâve been your own best guinea pig over the years, and have suffered a great deal for it. But it has also given you something no one before has been able to achieve: immunity. To most of these dark, dangerous creations of yours.
Your prized collection of at least a hundred vials makes even Baba Yaga pause and consider. See you differently no doubt.
The truth is that the sheer magnitude of the horrors and devastation this collection could unleash is unprecedented. Unrivalled by all with the exception of but one man.
And no one knows it exists apart from the people in this room and Santino. The High Table suspects something of this nature exists, you know that. Hence their insistence on you being unable to remove anything from the hotel after your Excommunicado.
âI should have told you,â John speaks up, his lips parted and tone deep, tired. âAbout my task. I justâŚâ
âKnew that if you told me neither of us would have left that desert?â you guess. âYeah, I kinda figured that.â
You understand his angle. His reason for not saying anything too. Thereâs just one thing thatâs been bothering you since you learned about it.
âDid...did the Elder forbid you from telling me?â
Johnâs expression creases. âNo,â he admits slowly. âBut he reminded me that your forgiveness is rarer than water in the desert, and rage fiercer than the sun.â
You can almost hear that echoed in the Elderâs gentle, accented voice. Staring at the vials, you force some of them out, rolling them in your palm experimentally as you start assembling your weapons swiftly.
The task makes sense. Winston did something he shouldnât have. Punishing him would be expected like it was with you and John. Manager or no, heâs not all-powerful.
But the thought that the Elder still knowingly told John to remove Winston stings. Deeply. He knows full well what the older man means to you.
Realising that you have nothing else to say, John steps away but you hear the reluctance in his steps when he walks away.
But all this can wait. The looming threat is the first order of business. You canât afford any distractions, so this, too, gets shoved behind a wall. Locked tight. You can catch a moment later. Process everything thatâs happened in this last week.
Charonâs lulling voice describes the change in the Black Dragon ranks to Johnâarmour improvements, weapon improvements, more robust training. You listen with half an ear. Theyâve gotten better with years, deadlier. They will not be an easy target but staring at all the vials out in the open fully and at your disposal makes your mouth twist into a cold, cruel smile.
Let them come.
You will make corpses of them all.
With that thought in mind, you arm yourself to the teeth, locking a belt around the curve of your hips. Blades slot easily against your body, vials of poison and canisters of gas following. Next, come pistols with spare clips and enough bullets to take down a small army. Fitting, considering thatâs most likely what you are likely to face. You thoroughly check each pistol, removing the magazines, and making sure safety is on all of them. Double-checking thereâs no jamming, either.
Once youâre comfortably armed you pull out two small needles, filling both with a small dosage of different colour solutions. You prepare more but focus on the two first. Â
Charon and John are still getting prepped, arming themselves just as intently while Winston sits calmly on a luxurious leather sofa observing them. Cheeseburger lays beside him on the sofa, his ears slightly perked as he watches everyone in the room.
Charon is closer so you hand him the needle wordlessly, knowing that heâs more than aware of what it is. Moving closer to John, you note the concentration with which he adds each spare magazine into his own utility belt, a deep pinch between his brows. This lethal focus means that youâre about to lose the John you know. Once Baba Yaga arrives there will be nothing but destruction left behind.
Something in your chest is ready to do the same. You almost crave it. Like everything has been building too quickly and now you feel at a breaking point ready to unleash.
Moving swiftly, you stab a needle into Johnâs neck, feeling him jerk and snap his fingers around your arm just like he did earlier. His grip is harsher, his fighter instincts kicking in. This time heâs not trying to stop you from attacking anyone but himself.
Rising an unimpressed eyebrow, you remove the needle from his neck, and John sways, scowling in your direction.
âOw. What was that?â he demands quietly, no doubt recalling the last time he had a run-in with your creations.
âA little concoction that will, hopefully, give you immunity from most things in my arsenal temporarily,â you tell him calmly, near monotonous. âUnless you prefer dissolving into an immobile puddle the moment my paralyser comes out?â
Johnâs brows hitch, his eyes narrowing marginally, and his chin slants. âYou enjoyed that,â he states dryly.
Blinking, you feel your lips quirk in an infinitesimal smile, blinking innocently up at him. âNo idea what youâre talking about,â you demure pleasantly. John stares at you blankly and your small smile quivers, widening. âOkay, fine. I totally enjoyed that.â
A tiny quirk of his own mouth follows and it feels strangely nostalgic, near bittersweet, because itâs like years ago again. Just you two getting ready for yet another job together, you teasing him or firing questions at him. Heâs always been patient with you. It was a kindness you never once took for granted. You were so alone, so lost, and heâd been the only harbour you had.
Despite his flaws, despite his mistakes, in many ways, John will always be that. Itâs the one thing you never see changing.
You still miss that ease you once shared. Sometimes remnants of it appear, like now, and it just makes it harder.
But reminiscing now is a fool's errand.
Instead, you reach for another blade mounted on the wall behind him and bend your knee, slotting it against the special opening in your boot. He doesnât take his gaze away from you as you do that, and you straighten, waiting to see if he will say anything else. He doesnât. That almost makes you smile again. Typical.
Nodding at him, you look towards Charon instead, pulling out several vials, âFor the guards,â you state seriously, your ease evaporating, and he takes them without a word. âMake sure they inject themselves at least five minutes before heading out just in case. Itâs going to be a nasty toxic cocktail one way or another. You already know what to do.â
A firm nod. âCertainly, Miss.â
Satisfied, you walk past them heading towards the manager who watches you curiously as you approach. Cheeseburger raises his head at once, his tail wagging at your proximity. Your fingers brush over his head, petting him, and you hold another vial for Winston to take.
Nothing to do with protection and everything to do with arming him. Which, you suppose, is its own type of protection.
He stares at you blankly, a glass of what you only assume is brandy gripped securely in his hand.
âOh, I sincerely hope youâre joking.â
He sounds completely incredulous and you roll your eyes.
âPrecautions,â you shoot back, twisting the poison vial between your fingers and holding the entire length of it out to him. âYour wisdom, remember?â
âAnd you think that if they somehow manage to get through you, Jonathan, Charon and the guard, as well as at least two tons of metal, that will stop them?â
âNo,â you answer honestly. âBut it will make me feel better if you have it.â
Winston heaves a sigh, shaking his head but takes the vial all the same, leaning back in his seat. A single eyebrow lifts as if to say satisfied? and you fight back a groan. Why can no one in your life make things easy for you? Just once?
You part your lips, a playful remark on your tongue, only for distinct thudding to sound from above. Itâs faint, barely audible, but you all freeze at the sound of it.
Your eyes drag towards the ceiling, just as Winstonâs voice sounds, âCharon, would you be so kind as to welcome our new guests?â
The concierge strolls briskly towards the fuse control box, pushing one of the levers down with a deafening click.
Upstairs, you know the hotel has been plunged into darkness before emergency lights come into operation.
âLet's go.â
You reach for the last few things you can get your hands on, your focus narrowing down to tunnel vision.
âYou will do the Continental proud,â Winston states, sounding so sure you canât help but lift your head in his direction from your last minute prep. âBoth of you.â
Your heart jolts painfully but you nod in acknowledgement all the same. Charon returns the gesture as well.
âAnd Johnathan?â
The assassin halts at his name, looking towards the manager in an unspoken question. âDo what you do best. Hunt.â
The four of you share a long, leaden moment before John moves first, followed by you. The vault door whirls close behind you, securing Winston and Cheeseburger inside, but you refuse to look back.
You will see them both soon.
Splitting at the mouth of the hallway, you watch Charon lead the guards down a different path while you and John take the elevator. Divide and attack on two fronts. John will be their main target first, then you.
The man beside you is as still as death, his body relaxed but senses alert. John doesnât fidget, hardly blinks, everything about him is steady and tranquil. Just standing near him feels electric.
âJust like old times.â
His faint words startle you. A large machine gun in his hands, the black suit, an unforgiving stareâhe looks near godly, as always, and you blink in his direction. Your tongue drags over your lower lip, pensive, and when you glance back at him you see Johnâs eyes jump up from your mouth.
âJust like old times,â you agree softly.
Youâre not sure what he sees when he looks at you. You would like to think he sees someone who exceeded his expectations for you all those years ago. Strong and unyielding.
You hope he sees an equal.
The lounge is painted with sickly green when the elevator crawls to a stop, and you both move like an extension of one another. Falling into a routine is easy because itâs instinct. The lounge is submerged in smoke, obscuring your vision so you both move silently through it, gauging the situation.
Raising your hand, you feel John slow beside you, his gun raised, covering you. Your eyes journey over the lounge, spotting blurry figures creeping through the space, trying to discover you no doubt. The black uniforms make anger simmer in your gut, gnawing on your self-control.
A hiss joins the fray of noise as you lightly roll your own gas canisters across the marble floor, your paralyser joining the smoke seamlessly.
You should really thank them. They just made this easier.
Now itâs just a matter ofâ
A gunshot booms behind you and you pivot on your knees, watching John tackle two men who have taken a route from behind, hidden from sight by large stone pillars.
Each man takes several bullets to take down and you frown at that. Through the darkness, you spot the heavy armourâheavier than youâve seen them wearâas well as goddamn gas helmets on their heads.
Rising, you jog towards the bodies. John throws himself at the other approaching men and you yank on the helmet on the dead soldierâs head. It slips off relatively easily and you curse under your breath when you note what filters have been installed at the base of it.
Theyâre significantly better than the last time you faced off against them. This paralyser will be nothing more than an irritant at this rate.
Theyâve come more than prepared.
Theyâve come ready to skin the snake and hang her by that skin. Â
Snarling, you hurl the helmet at another uniformed figure that rounds the column, his rifle raised, watching it crash against his head.
Two shots follow from your Glock but the man only stumbles back, and you leap at him, slotting the nozzle under his collar before firing again. A bullet slices clean through his neck, finally killing him. You slide a blade in your other hand, spinning it once. Scanning your surroundings, you take the other side so you and John work back to back even at the distance.
Gunshots explode ahead and you know that Charon has joined in the fray as well. Â
Your displeasure morphs into anger and then outright fury with each dead body. It doesnât take you long to realise that your weapons are too weak to handle this onslaught. The calibre too low. The helmets make the paralyser nothing more than a tickle down their throats and an ache in their eyes.
While that slows them somewhat, their armour is too good for a simple pistol fire. No matter how many bullets you may have at your disposal.
Slamming a knee into one manâs gut, you yank his body to one side. His body soaks up bullets his friends try to shoot at you and you pull back. A blade buries deep in his neck, you jerk the deadman again, feeling a splatter of hot liquid on your face when the blade cuts deeper into his skin.
Duck, yank, slice.
You tear through the throng of incoming soldiers but youâre slowed by the fact that each person takes too much effort to kill unless you get up close and personal. That in itself is tempting faith.
One bullet, one falter, thatâs all it would take. Â
A man charges at you when his gun clicks empty, and you block his punch, pistol-whipping him across the head. The contact rattles through your bones and you bare your teeth.
A slice so quick he doesnât even register it follows before his throat opens.
Nothing but a wet gurgle slips free and gravity does the rest.
Another follows after that, and another and another. Itâs chaos and darkness. The floor is slippery with blood but you push ahead your expression contorted with pure wrath.
They want to kill you, do they? Â
Rules have drowned you for years now.
But right nowâright this secondâyouâre still free of your chain.
And they have no idea what you can do.
Let me give you something to be afraid of.
With that thought racing through your mind, you turn and dash towards the elevator, slamming your hand against the button. It takes longâtoo longâbut you know it will be worth it. Throwing yourself inside, you press the basement button over and over again, practically beating it.
The ride down seems to last an eternity as well.
You prowl inside the cubicle like a wild animal ready to spring free. So much so that the partition nearly breaks with the amount of strength you use to yank it backwards with.
âWinston!â you shout from the top of your lungs, slamming your palm repeatedly against the vault. âLet me in!â
Thereâs a reverberating click only moments later but you donât wait for the hefty metal to open fully before you push inside, breathing harshly as you do.
Winston blinks slowly at the sight of you. âV?â
There is a question and a sharpness to his regard, and the wariness with which he takes you in should probably worry you. But you donât answer him. Instead, you head straight for the cabinet. Your pulse pounding and a clamour inside your head leaving you partially deaf. To a point, both Johnâs and Charonâs returned presence back inside the vault scarcely registers.
A red haze clings to everything around you.
âV.â
Your knuckles are starting to swell again but after this, it wonât matterâ
âV.â
âWhat do you want?â you hiss, each syllable acidic to a point it catches John off guard.
He mutely offers you a shotgun and something at the back of your brain recollects mentions of âarmour piercing shellsâ but you shake your head.
âThereâs still some left alive at the back, and theyâre regrouping,â you say instead, trying to quell your temper. âI have something else for the second wave.â
He reads between the lines of your plan.
âIâm not leaving you alone to face them.â
Your head snaps in his direction, and you hold out a vialâsmaller than others, rounder, filled with liquid that seems to be caught in a perpetual state of half-brown and half-redâin front of his face.
âThis,â you begin tightly, your vocal cords straining from how hard youâre working to hold yourself back. âIs something that will kill them helmet or not. They should know better than to think that some cheap plastic will save them from me.â
You pull out two canisters of gas, shaking both as you look towards the air system. âAir filtering still on?â
âMinimal,â Winston returns, his voice dull, stare watchful. âDonât let it consume you,â he reminds quietly after a pause.
Your grip momentarily falters at those words but thatâs the only reaction he receives.
âThen Iâll do it the hard way.â
John intercepts you before you can take so much as a step, his minute unease now gone. âWhy didnât we open with that?â
Youâre not sure why the hell heâs stalling now to ask you questions but you answer him despite that. âThis is a diluted version of something I created a long time ago,â you tell them. âIt wasnât created to be used as a vapour. This is also the only vial I have, and it will take at least a month to create more. I was saving this for the eleventh hour because no matter how many are out there, theyâre about all about to experience a quick but very painful death.â
Youâre not quite sure what to make of what you glimpse across his features. Some turbulent mix of emotions he doesnât seem to wish and explain. Day by day he learns the full extent of how youâre no longer that girl that walked away from him with tears streaming down her face.
This is what you are now. What you had to become.
You wait for a reaction, judgement, but John only steps aside, his voice a low rasp, âBe careful.â
You soften somewhat at the muted worry you hear in his voice. âYou too,â you say with a sigh. âGo ahead. Iâm grabbing one more canister of gas just in case. Donât go anywhere near the lounge for the next ten minutes at least.â
Both men indicate their understanding, not bothering to question you further. And there is comfort in that, in their easy understanding and trust. They both can more than handle themselves but a distinct worry still gnaws on your entrails as you watch them leave. Lack of presence from the other guards no doubt means theyâre all dead already.
So that leaves only you three.
Three vs a small army of highly trained fighters.
But not for long.
âV.â
âA little busy, Winston,â you stress while rummaging through different compartments. âCan it wait?â
Silence greets your words. Then, âIf I asked for your trust. Your complete trust,â he begins purposely, his voice deceptively serene. âWould you give it to me?â
Your hands still and you stare blankly at your collection for a beat.
Straightening unhurriedly, you try to digest his words, and tilt your head in the managerâs direction.
Itâs only when you note his expression that you realise something is very, very wrong.
The lobby is a graveyard.
Both literal and figurative.
Bodies lay in heaps across the usually gleaming flooring, and you wait patiently while leaning against one of many marble columns.
Waiting youâve gotten rather good at.
The poison sits in your hands, warmed by your palms, but still brimming that ugly dark shade despite now being transformed into a vapour. Youâve recreated two versions of The Drowning and havenât used either since Chicago. That thought makes you glare at the ceiling above because the recollection of Rafael and Boutin still wounds.
The grandeur of the Continental never fails to impress you though. Not even years later. There is always something new to discover and admire. Â
Youâve been waiting for at least five minutes now so when a creak sounds you donât move at first. Muffled footsteps echo across the eerily quiet lobby, moving towards you.
But not from the direction of the entrance.
The louder the steps become the more obvious a secondary sound becomes as well.
Whistling.
Faint but melodic.
The familiarity of the tune causes you to stands straighter, focus on the melody.
Mr Sandman drifts through the air as a peculiar sort of goad; purposeful and sly.
âOh, snakey,â a voice coos playfully, pausing the tune for a moment. âI know youâre hiding somewhere out here.â
Lucien.
Of course.
Youâve been expecting him to show up sooner rather than later. Itâs good to know that you were right about him though. He wasnât going to let you slip by him again. This time, you donât want to, either. This time, youâre going to finish this.
You contemplate throwing the poison in his face but the High Table would not give up so easily. John and Charon might be cleaning up the remainder of the first wave one shotgun shell at the time but a second wave is guaranteed and soon. Logically they would want to try and overwhelm you. Theyâre hoping to wear you out.
âCome out, come out wherever you are,â Lucien calls out in a sing-song drawl, his footsteps slowing to a point they fade entirely. âDonât make me find you. Youâre not going to enjoy that scenario.â
âWho says Iâm hiding?â
You round the column, finding his thin, solitary figure in the middle of the lobby immediately. The dark green light seems to only emphasize his gaunt frame and you take a step closer, then another.
How clever of him to wait until your paralyser is fully dispelled from the air before he came seeking you out. Â
His head lowers, deepening the shadows under his eyes. âDid your guard dogs run away?â he wonders mockingly, his voice carrying. âGood, they were getting in the way.â
âOf what?â
âOur dance, of course,â he retorts, a shade angry like you should know better. âOne last dance and the truth. Oh, if only you knew but you donât. No point in secrets now though.â
You scoff, both of you watching each other as you draw nearer. âYou like hearing yourself talk, donât you, Lucien?â
The blonde assassin bares his teeth at the sound of his nameâdangerous and macabre, dripping with heinous amusementâand he gazes at you for a moment. Something flickers over his shoulderâ
âNot at all actually,â he states overly calm. âBut youâre not the only one to have your life stolen. Maybe itâs about time you realised that,â he divulges, his voice softening into something as hateful as it is eager. Like whatever he thought he knew, he couldnât wait to impart on you. âIâll be waiting for you, viper.â
You aim the poison at his head, hurling it through the air with every fibre of your strength.
Lucien ducks, sliding across the floor at near blinding speed, and disappearing behind the armchairs and from your sight.
Itâs at that moment that the Black Dragonâs men burst through the lobby door, their guns raised.
Following his example, you dash behind the column, an explosion of bullets following a split second later.
Rubble splinters under the abuse and you turn, avoiding the crumbling stone.
One, two, threeâŚ
This time your poison doesnât escape in an unassuming tickle of vapour. No, this time itâs an impact of a small explosive going off, and itâs a matter of one, two, three before muffled screams and groans replace the gunfire.
Arching your back against the ruined stone, you allow your head to tip back, watching the ceiling thoughtfully. You wait till gunfire completely cuts out before moving. Then, you stride from behind the column studying the effects with a mix of cold detachment.
Your own nose and lungs ache uncomfortablyâjust a show of how potent the formula really isâbut you donât take your attention away from the dying soldiers. Theyâre more of a heap at this point, their gas masks that they no doubt were so sure would keep them safe now virtually useless.
Itâs a quick but brutal affair.
Wet sounds and sobs of pain. Then, like dominoes falling, the men still one by one.
They might be only obeying orders, but they came to kill the only family you have and take your home, and you find yourself feeling little to no pity for them.
The haze is gone now, leaving the lobby even more chillingly silent than earlier.
Lucien is nowhere in sight.
You would have preferred if the poison got him but didnât hold out much hope that it would. Heâs too good and far too fast.
Iâll be waiting for you.
He will grow to regret those words.
Stepping over the bodies, you approach the spot you saw the blonde last, heading in the direction of the only corridor he could have gone down.
Glock aimed ahead, your movements are utterly silent, deadly. No matter how deep into the hotel you head, he seems to be nowhere in sight, however. This time, clearly, he wants you to look for him.
Corridor by corridor you find nothing. Then floor by floor. You know this hotel far better than Lucien does. If he really assumes he can hide from you here heâs sorely mistaken.
Gunfire rips through the air and you pause, tightening your grip on the pistol. Little by little, you decrease the distance just as a hush falls up ahead.
Johnâs dark hair is what you glimpse first and instinctively relax seeing that itâs him.
âJohn.â
The man turns towards the call of his name, and you squint at him, approaching cautiously. âWhy are you wet?â
John breaths are laboured, rattling from his lungs in shallow pants, making his chest expand with each inhale. âZeroâs men.â
âThe Male Lover found me too,â you tell him and you both fall into step. âMissed out on the poison party, unfortunately.â
The man at your side glances you over onceâa completely wordless but attentive examinationâand you huff a small breath, amused.
âIâm fine.â
Youâve forgotten how much of a mother hen he could be without saying a single word.
At least youâre a little calmer now after your previous display of explosive fury.
He seems to accept your words, and you both step into the elevator for what feels like the hundredth time in a span of only several hours.
You know what logic John is following though. Both Lucien and Zero have likely hidden up on the higher levels for two reasons.
More places to hide.
And theyâre less likely to encounter any poison on the higher floors.
Leaning your shoulder heavily against the cool metal, you peer at the man only armâs length away. Baba Yaga stands with his shoulders slumped and expression enervated. Yet heâs standing despite that. His gaze still burns with a fierce sort of determination. Â
That might have been one of the first things youâve fallen in love withâthat determination and will. Followed by his often unspoken kindness.
What wonât you give for things to be different.
Going up the floors proves to be the right of course action the moment the elevator stops.
John throws himself against one side of the metal cubicle, and you do the same when a bullet whistles through the partition, piercing the metal where Johnâs head just was.
Pushing your hand out, you fire blindly, hearing shuffling in response, and use the distraction to peek your head over the edge. John does the exact same thing and you both fire simultaneously, hitting two men. John in the head. You in the chest. Neither moves.
Shoulders hunched and tense, you move in unison, and you conclude instantaneously that this is clearly a trap to draw you in deeper. Laying a path for you to follow until the trap springs shut.
Eyeing each other, you both move ahead despite that shared conclusion.
It doesnât matter much now. You may only have the single magazine, and one vial of paralyser left on you after butchering your way through an entire hoard of soldiers, but it wonât matter.
There is a nagging thought at the back of your mind that you should ask about Charon but now isnât the time for that, either. The concierge is likely back with Winston by now. Â
There is a ruthless strategy to how you remove Zeroâs men. One by one, shoulder to shoulder, and know that these men are afraid. That they know deep in their heart of hearts that they wonât survive the fight before it even begins but they still try. Theyâre strong and fast. A legacy of hard training and cruel discipline no doubt. But John is stronger and you are faster.
In many ways, they remind you of those soldiers from years ago who ambushed you in that freezing Tokyo alleyway.
Your bullets run out by the time you return to the administrative lounge. All you have on you now are two blades, paralyser, and Elderâs dagger, tucked away and out of sight. Both blades have been christened with blood two floors ago, and John is down to his bare hands.
It would put most at a disadvantage but not him. If anything, his ruthlessness only seems to grow.
But something is different this time.
Three main differences, really.
First, a jovial whistle of Mr Sandman floating through the air.
Second, three dead men that you recognise as Zeroâs and finallyâŚ
Lucien leans again a glass case housing an old relic, his hands covered in blood and the tip of his blade scratching at his nail. Thereâs at least a few dozen of these glass cases littering the room, an old passion of Winstonâs, and quite the point of pride for him. Some artifacts locked away here are worth a lot of money. Frowning deeply, you stall, drilling holes into his figure.
Lucien knows youâre here but doesnât acknowledge you right away. He continues humming, seemingly set on finishing the tune before his head dips lazily in your direction.
âRun along, Mr Wick,â he says bluntly, his face splattered with blood. âThis is between me and the viper.â
The man beside you makes a small sound at the back of his throat, near disbelieving, but you cut him off before he can speak, still staring at Lucien, âGo, John,â you say calmly. âHeâs right. We have unfinished business, as do you.â
Johnâs stare burns into the side of your head but you donât explain further than that. This is not his fight. Youâre no longer in need of his shadow and in need of his protection.
Still, he doesnât move right away, and you hear him audibly inhale as if he needs to say something but canât force the words out.
Youâre about to repeat yourself but he finally steps to the side, taking a path around Lucien and the dead guards. His gait is slow. Heâs practically staggering because you can sense his reluctance but the fact that he listens does make you feel a tinge of satisfaction.
A part of you wants to look towards him as he disappears down the hall but you donât. Â
Lucien peers at you with a strange little smile on his face all the while, waiting till Johnâs footsteps fully retreat until his limbs shift. Heâs still smiling faintly but youâre in no urge to finish this, so youâre fine with letting him play his games, waiting and watching.
âHad your fun?â you wonder, bored, gesturing towards the dead men at his feet.
Lucien cranes his neck, pushing away from the glass with a swiftness that makes you tense. He chuckles at your reaction, stepping over them like theyâre nothing more than dirt under his boot.
âOh, that was just a little warm-up,â he says brightly that faint, unsettling smile still lingering, and you canât help but wonder what his deal is. He seems awfully cheery. It makes for a strange contrast to your last few run-ins. And his previous words, implying his own looming demise. âYou kept me waiting. Donât tell me youâre getting slow.â
Smiling, you too move in his direction, limbs relaxed, a peaceful hush over your body. âAre you hoping to talk me to death?â
âNow, now,â he mutters icily. âNo need to be quite so rude. I just want a dance.â
Your smile splits into something bleaker, more cold-blooded, and you circle each other. Pale blue light dances across Lucienâs sharp features. A snap of jaws, a growlâthere is something animalistic about the wordless exchange between you. Something brittle, a string being yanked upon repeatedly until one of you finally gives in.
Lucien leaps first.
Your knives are short, certainly not created for duelling but the clank of metal pierces the air as you both meet in the middle. Your exhausted muscles snap, tensing, coiling.
He swipes his elbow in your direction but you duck just in time, a whistle of wind tickling your temple.
Arms twisting, you both ignore the screech of metal, you punching him in the jaw while he gets you in the ribs. Gasping, you stagger back, ignoring the numbing pain. Time has dulled the memory of how hard he manages to hit if the hits land.
Lucien springs towards you again, his face contorted, lips stretched back. This time your arms are tucked at your sides and you greet his attack. Your knees knock but you manage to push him back. A swipe of your blade is your reply but he careens out of the way and you kick at him instead. He catches your knee, staggering back from the impact, and he grins at you wildly. A slight cut against the corner of his mouth bubbles up, spilling blood over his front teeth. It paints the white bone canvas with diluted scarlet.
âYou didnât answer my question earlier,â he says conversationally, and you try to sink your knife into his chest but he shoves you back. You stumble but stay upright, exhaling shakily at the pain across your ribs. âIf he missed you.â
Ignoring him, you roll the blades between your fingers, drooping lower as you unleash one quick swipe after another.
Lucien lurches backwards, his expression tightening in concentration. He manages to stay out of the way, just barely. So you push him backwards till youâre back by the bodies, and the man drops to the floor so suddenly youâre left staring at empty air until your mind catches up.
He rolls across the floor, a blur of his golden hair and dark clothes the only visible thing, and you realise a second too late as to why.
A blade lays by one of the dead men covered in blood as well. You have no idea how he managed to take down three men with a minimum of two katanas at their disposal. But thereâs no time to contemplate that because this time youâre the one throwing yourself backwards.
Lucien swipes the katana in a deadly arc.
His hair mused, face bloodied and a grin on his face, he gazes at you for a second. Your grip on your blades constricts.
âI wondered for years what was so special about you,â he reveals mildly, tipping his chin upwards, pulling the blade closer towards his body as he stands. âI fucking hated you, viper. Viper. I suppose thatâs one of many titles for you, isnât it? John Wickâs protege, the Vipress, the Italianâs whore, the Russianâs Viper, Lady Camorra. Honestly doesnât your headâŚhurt from it all? Or does it add to your ego?â Â
He spins the katana in the air, rolling his wristâexperienced and at ease, the blade like an extension of his arm. Your senses pinprick at that assessment, knowing he just made this much harder for you.
âDid the way he used to call you his desert viper make you feel powerful?â he wonders suddenly, tracing his index finger up the curve of the metal. âGave you a sense of importance? It must have felt thrilling to be such an exception to the most powerful man in the world.â
Something inside your chest stills.
Lucien drags his eyes in your direction, watching you closely over the edge of the blade.
âMy, you really do have no idea, do you?â he continues slyly, his expression slackening with amusement; malicious, wild kind that causes you to bristle. âNone. Your life is, ah, what is the expression again? A hot mess, non? Oh, snakey, I thought you could be the one to teach me a lesson I failed to learn all those years ago, but your ignorance is truly disappointing.â
He cuts the air with the blade, lowering it back to his side, and you bite out a chilly, âWhat the hell are you talking about?â
He tuts, wagging his index finger in your direction, his grin fluttering like heâs trying to contain a laugh bubbling inside his chest.
âI kept telling you but you just donât listen, do you?â he wonders with a click of his tongue. âI told you we were the same. Forged by the same violence. Alike in ways you failed to understand. Now, why do you think I would say that?â
You donât respond, instead, you push yourself backwards, launching your full mass at him. Lucien greets you with a chuckleâa cold, hollow sound, teetering on manic just like the rest of himâhis katana managing to absorb the impact of your shorter dual blades. Â
âTokyo, Chicago, Prague, the Albanians, the summit, usâdid you really think it was all, what exactly, one funny coincidence?â he asks jovially, and a distinct chill sinks into your bones at his words, forcing you to pull yourself backwards, and dive for the other blade on the ground.
He lets you. Doesnât bother trying to stop you, and you grip the handle in a knuckle tight grip, creating some distance between you once more. Again, he lets you, examining you with a dark but curious light gleaming in his eyes. Like youâre a lab rat heâs conducting a study on. His question rattles through your head and you squint at him. Â
âYou never even questioned it, did you?â he continues, his voice airy with disbelief, a joke that seems to entertain him endlessly. Heâs lost interest in the fight between you for a moment, prowling across the gleaming floor but in no hurry to attack. This, clearly is more important to him. âThe water, the tunnels, the darkness. A repeating pattern. All carefully put together to test you. Over and over and over again. And you exceeded his every expectation. Every challenge thrown at you, you triumphed. And even if you did wonder at the back of your mind, you never once were made to believe that someone else was pulling the strings all along. Think, snake. Think.â
Youâre not sure if youâre still breathing.
WhatâŚ
NoâŚ
No, it doesnâtâŚ
Itâs not possible. ItâŚcanâtâŚ
Your head is empty and you gasp for breath but your lungs feel blocked, your throat locked.
Lucien attacks in a blur.
You just barely manage to muster up the speed to block him, a piercing screech of metal against metal. Your arms buckle under his strength and he kicks you, catching you in the gut. One, twoâ
A muffled curse slips free, everything spinning, and he grabs the spare blade in your hand, throwing it away.
Parrying for control, you attempt a punch at his head but itâs too slow and sloppy. He catches your fist, bending your arm at a sharp angle. You relax it as per your old training to avoid broken tendons or bones. The katana slips from your hand and you growl under your breath, your free hand managing to form a fist.
A punch to his gut hits him quicker than a snake bite. Brutally efficient, impacting the exact same spot you gutted him only weeks prior.
Lucien grunts. Swears. His teeth gleam, still tinged by blood and you feel his hot breath on your face. Death and decay andâ
Youâre too misbalanced that you donât notice it fast enough.
Lucien kicks you in the stomach with enough strength to send you flying.
A second of weightlessness enfolds you and then comes the crash.
Glass shatters upon contact and you muffle a cry of pain, feeling glass explode and rain down around you. Hitting the floor with a deafening thud, you stay there for a while, everything ringing and blurred around you.
A feeble moan escapes you, pained and strangled.
You attempt to shake your head, your fingers twitching against the glass covered floor.
âTokyo was just the beginning,â Lucienâs muffled voice sounds like youâre underwater and you groan, weakly tilting your head to spot his approaching legs. Glass crunches under his boots and you try to desperately block out his words. âHeâs always been on the lookout for new members to join his inner circle. Best of the best. And heâs always paid close attention to poisoners like you. Tokyo was just a nudge to see what you were made of. But you didnât break and it escalated too far. Do you know what the Elder did after you escaped? Why you never heard from Kishiâs little group again? It wasnât because of Wick. It was because the Elder had the entire clan killed. Just that easily. Because they disobeyed him.â
âNo, noâŚâ
It canât be true.
It canât.
He has to be lying. It doesnât make any senseâŚ
ExceptâŚit does.
âDid you never ask yourself why Tarasov didnât simply turn you into another whore or sell you?â he demands harshly. âLater, I imagine, it was a certain degree of fear of you. But initially, it was because of the Elderâs will. Even if all Viggo Tarasov knew back then was that the Table willed it so.â
You focus on your core, trying to get yourself to move but Lucien speeds up his approach, kicking you in the stomach.
Pain blinds you and you roll across the floor. Your forehead connects with the glass, your left eyebrow splitting on impact. You donât realise it at firstânot till numbness is replaced by a sensation of something wet trailing down your face.
Droplets of fresh blood hit the crushed glass beneath you, and you crawl ahead with a pained gasp.
âNextâand my personal favouriteâChicago,â Lucien narrates loudly, his voice echoing through the large space. You hear him behind you but utter shock wins out, locking your limbs, leaving you a frail mess on the ground for him to prey upon. A part of you wants to roar, another wants to cry. Your training battles against the yawning abyss you keep slipping down with each horrifying word. âWho do you think fed the father-son wonder duo their information? Why do you think you were taken to an underground facility that was spitting image of Tokyo? Why not just kill you and DâAntonio outright? Boutin thought he was getting a special task but the truth was that he had long since outlived his use. The Elder fed both Boutin and his son to you to see what you would do. Black Dragon and DâAntonio were just pawns to hide the real test.â
The highway. The way they just kept attacking but not trying to kill you. It was to see how long you will last.
You want to be sick, a dry heave bubbling past your lips, every word crushing you harder, harder, harderâ
âAnd, once again, you did perfectly but not without a loose end,â he sneers, venturing closer, step by step, as is savouring your reaction. âHe also knew that the fear of being found out will make you more compliant. Wasnât it peculiar that he summoned you right after you returned to New York? Itâs almost like heâŚknew. Well, he did. He always has.â
Biting your tongue, you try to push yourself up on your elbows.
Ignore him, donât listen, donâtâ
âPrague. Again. Poison that made you struggle,â he reveals, his voice pitching towards impatience now. âThe syndicate that took your Italian had no prior conflicts with Camorra and for a reason. Another test and punishment. More pieces for you to remove.â
Santino was taken for no reason. Right after your return from the desert. Cognitionis had no former alterations with Camorra up until that point. They were far too small to ever risk the wrath of a powerhouse like Camorra. They hadnât even made demands which struck you as so odd back then but you had chalked it up to them wanting to prove a point.
A poison the heir was poisoned with was sophisticated and took some time to reverse-engineer. So long, in fact, that Santino nearly died. Â
âAlbanians. Same thing,â Lucien voices harshly, punctuating every word. Heâs gotten so close that when the second kick comes the pain is distant, muted. Because what heâs betraying is so, so much worse. âIt wasnât Camorra that started the conflict. It was made to seem that way. Tarasov was cautioned to keep a close eye on you. To a point he forbade you from helping Camorra, right? And what did you do after that, snakey?â he demands, bending down and yanking you upwards by the back of your neck.
He pulls you towards him and more blood trails down your face. Lucienâs narrowed eyes search for something in your expression, and he smiles faintly when he spots it. âThatâs right. Itâs all starting to click, isnât it?â
Tarasov forbade you from helping Camorra, from helping Santino. It was the first time you ever talked back to him. First time you ever conjured up enough courage to do so.
And then, furious and upset, you ran. Straight to Casablanca. And nearly back to the man who always expectedâknew, he fucking knew, planned for itâfor you to come back to him.
Itâs what he wanted from the start and it would have been your choice.
No forced loyalty.
You will always lose, and it will always lead you back to me.
Oh God.
If Santino had come just half a day later you wonât even be here right now. You would be with him, at his side, and none the wiser to this truth.
The terrible, dark truth of what loneliness can do to someone.
âI even told you it was him,â the man holding you whispers, his head dipping to one side when he drags his fingers over your face, wetting them with your blood. âYou just donât remember, do you?â
His disappointment is once again palpable. Â
Except while youâre staring at the cutting lines of his face, a recollection does come.
The warehouse. You tied to a chair. A needle stuck in your neck as Lucien leaned his body over you. The scathing bewilderment at the fact that he has managed to find something powerful enough to knock you out for hours. Those thin, pink lips shaping words while whatever he injected you with coursed through your veins, and a name you didnât catch.
The Elder sends his regards.
Lucienâs fingers sink deep into the skin of your neck, his expression clouding with rage the longer he gazes at you.
âYou were his favourite,â he seethes bitterly, ripping you upwards and on your knees so quickly youâre left scrambling. Your legs drag across the glass shards and your hands lock shakily around his, trying to rip out of his grip. âNo one after you was good enough! We trained until our bones broke. We could bleed ourselves dry, and it still wasnât enough!â
ShĂłdigan.
Thatâs why he asked if you knew about it.
You thought you did butâ
He flings you ahead and your body slides across the gleaming flooring, leaving a trail of blood behind. Lucien follows, stalking closer, and squats beside you, this time yanking you upwards by the collar of your shirt. âHe adored you,â he adds with a hiss, his fury scalding your skin; an old, festering resentment. âAnd now youâre paying the price for that adoration.â
He exhales with great difficulty, taking several moments to reign in his temper.
Now, you understand his obsession with you perfectly.
He is like you.
He was a candidate too.
He must have been.
Another face in a long line of candidates for the coveted disciple position.
This time when Lucien speaks, his voice sounds contemplative, âThough I suppose you should thank him too,â he states forcefully light. âOne day you will be remembered as a legend, just like your Baba Yaga. He helped to forge you into what you are today.â
Youâre too numb to feel anything else.
There is just a hushed sort of silence ringing through your head.
Undeterred by your lack of response, Lucien goes on, wiping at the blood on his face, âYou know there is an old French saying: qui se resemble, s'assemble. Can you guess what it means?â he doesnât wait for your answer this time, either. âEvery man loves well what is like to himself. You are each otherâs dark mirror. His counterpart.â
He giggles this time, grabbing your face, his fingers cutting into the flesh of your cheeks, and for the first time since he started his speech, something sparks in your gut.
Shock or not, your body is failing to respond but you battle against it, silencing your mind.
Hurt and betrayal slam like an overloading flood against your composure despite your best attempts to stay afloat.
Youâre such a fool.
Such a lonely, naive fool.
So desperate to believe.
Hope.
Just like he was.
Lucien is right.
You and Elder are two broken halves of a mangled whole.
The same man you once saw as a chance for redemption, belonging, is the architect of the majority of the pain in your life.
One day, if you still wish it, I will tell you everything.
Everything. This is what he had meant by everything.
He ordered Winstonâs death not because the manager broke the rules but because he wanted to remove your main tie to New Yorkâthe very tie that made you choose to leave him in the first place.
And John would have been the one to fire the bullet. Â
You would have hated him for the rest of your days for taking the manager away from you.
Santino is still weak and so very easy for the Elder to dispose of right now.
The Lovers. Their mission to hunt you both down.
Another test for you, another tie cut if they succeed in killing Santino.
And you would have crawled to him on your hands and knees, hoping for his kindness once again. Heartbroken and alone with no one to turn to.
He would have won and you would have made it easy for him.
So very easy.
Lucien drinks in your tiny, wet breaths and glassy stare. Blood continues dripping from the cut against your eyebrow and you shiver in his hold.
A tear trails down your cheek and you canât process a single thought. Itâs too much, itâs⌠Â
âHe always feared you would find out,â this time his voice is softer, emptier, and the hollows that make up his eyes examine you shrewdly. âBut itâs a fitting punishment. To care for someone so deeply, to desire them, only to live with the burden of knowing that you are the reason for their suffering.â
His fingers tremble, sunken deep into your cheeks, and another off-tilter laugh tickles from the back of his throat.
âI really did hate you, your shadow, for years. Until those tunnels,â he murmurs, his faint accent just a little more notable then, his grip easing, loosening. âUntil I saw how much darkness lurks under that mask of calm. How much hate festers inside you but directed at the wrong people. I told you we were one and the same. You should have listened.â
He shakes his head, blonde strands brushing over his forehead, his mouth stretching into another beaming smile, all teeth.
Lucien lets you go and you drop the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.
Thatâs all you areâcomes the sinking, gutting realisationâa puppet for others to use and play with.
âHe will kill me for what Iâve done to you,â Lucien announces, sounding like heâs made peace with that grim fact long ago. âBut you know itâs funny, snakey. I always thought I would enjoy this more. Getting back at them by betraying his secrets. Seeing that realisation on your face. That crumbling hope and despair as your world unravels and crashes around you,â he says softly, near lovingly.
It must have taken him years to gain this level of trust, to learn this information.
You donât move a muscle. All you can see are Lucienâs legs but you can feel him staring down at you.
The blonde tsks under his breath, nudging you with the tip of his boot but you donât react. âYou want to deny it, I know you do,â he begins purposely, and you suppose he would know, wonât he? âBut you canât. Because I bet every single thing thatâs never made sense about your life before now suddenly does. Am I right, snakey?â
Your fingers tremble and you press them closer to your body.
âLooking at you now, I almost pity you,â he muses and there is a distinct note of uncomfortable surprise in his low voice. It almost makes you ponder just how large the line between this lucid Lucien and his insanity really is. âYouâre just a little tragedy, arenât you?â he adds thoughtfully.
Little tragedy. Little tragedy. Little tragedy.
It echoes.
You wonder, then, what you would have become had you been allowed to stay a girl. If you didnât have to become a monster. Even though the monster kept you alive, kept you breathing and fighting.
What would you have become if you hadnât been robbed of a future you could have had?
âYour life is not your own, it never was.â
Deafening, hollow silence follows that statement. Your heart thuds so painfully inside your chest, a part of you waits for it to stop on its own. Â
Lucienâs boot settles against your waist again, pushing you onto your back. Â
You stare up at the ceiling above you and count the beats of your heart.
The assassin straddles you unhurriedly as if expecting you to fight back but all you do is blink slowly.
Everything is rushing through your head right now. Every moment over the last seven years.
His fingers brush over the curve of your neck and he stares down at you with an almost rueful expression on his face.
âWhat a waste,â he starts tightly, followed by a long pause and he mutters something in French under his breath. His fingers settle around your throatânot squeezing, simply gazing down at you. âI knew it would crush you. But I hoped for that rage. For the abyss. For you to show me once and for all what I lacked that you had. Your lesson.â
So thatâs what that was about.
âWe might have been friends had we met sooner, serpent girl.â
His fingers constrictâ
âMyââ
Your voice cracks and Lucienâs grip relaxes instantly. The thin line of his eyebrows knits in confusion. âQuoi?â
Gulping a painful breath, you part your lips, âMyâŚlesson,â you croak out, tasting blood on your tongue and how fitting that you should. âMy lessonâŚI have the answer.â
A certain light devours his gaze, and although his features drop with surprise, his eagerness is tangible.
He leans closer, and over you, his fingers still around your throat, âTell me.â
Your tongue feels heavy and dry inside your mouth, an acrid aftertaste coating it, and Lucien jerks his fingers harder around the fragile column. He presses closer, his body weight pinning you downâ
You jerk your body, a blur of your arm, a gleam of a dagger in the artificial, cold light. The Elderâs dagger in your hand trembles but gushing scarlet coats it still.
âIâm faster.â
Lucien gapes, his mouth parted. He convulses, his grip on your neck slipping, and you lurch your hips upwards, throwing him off you.
He drops to the side, right beside you, unmoving but the heat of his body still warming youâand you clutch the dagger tighter between your blood-stained fingers. You press it to your chest and lay there till time becomes nothing. Â
BC4 BC5.
Years ago when you escaped to Casablanca, eager to start your life over and join the Elder once again, Sofia told you something that has stuck with you ever since.
Sometimes you have to kill what you love.
Youâve thought about that a lot over the years. What exactly she had to sacrifice to have the power she now possessesâher daughter, flesh and blood, and good.
What you may have to sacrifice one day to earn your freedom.
Now, you suppose, none of that matters anymore.
Not really.
Youâve almost won your pyrrhic victory, Kishi purrs happily at your side, and you hear the subdued rumble of Tarasovâs laugh too, soon you can savour the rotting, sweet taste of it on your tongue.
The rooftop terrace door slams open, and you step onto the patio, halting the heated conversation with your arrival. There is an unsteady sway to your limbs that doesnât escape anyoneâs attentionâJohnâs shoulderâs slump, Winstonâs eyes narrow, the Adjudicator simply arches an eyebrowâbut your expression remains steely.
The fire roars behind Winston and Charonâand it is, admittedly, a massive relief to see them both safe and unharmedâeven if it makes you think how close you cameâŚ
No.
None of that now.
Youâve lived through worse (have you? liar, liar, liar, Kishi coos) and you give them a forced, fragmented smile.
âMorninâ.â
The Adjudicator grimaces subtly, and you know itâs likely because your injuries leave your smile bloody. Good.
âThe Vipress,â the Adjudicator greets, standing to their feet. âI must express my apologies on behalf of the High Table. It does, indeed, seem like the general order in regards to you has...changed.â
They donât look particularly happy to admit that but this is no time to goad, if you even could muster up the strength for it.
Instead, you stare blankly in their direction for a beat. âExcuse me,â you say, your voice a grating whisper, as you push past them. âKilling your lackies has made me thirsty.â
You shoulder past them, avoiding contact, your eyes momentarily jumping to Winston who stands right behind the Adjudicator, his stare cautious. Your eye contact lasts no more than a scant few seconds but itâs enough.
Itâs a split second in which you grab a glass of champagne, ignoring the other snacks on the table.
You turn to face them, finding them all in differing states of confusion or uncertainty but offer no explanation as you drown three large gulps.
âLetâs get on with it, then,â you phrase bitingly, not bothering to hide the impatience, the sting of bubbling acid and, and⌠âI would like to have breakfast and take a shower. It exhausts a girl, having to take down armies. Hope you can appreciate that at least most of mine are in one piece. Less blood for you to wipe,â you comment idly, directing your words at the Adjudicator.
Coldness lurks in their regard, and you can tell that their opinion of you is less than savoury.
You donât give a shit what they might think of you.
Every word slips past your lips on automatic; mindless, void syllables that feel drained of life. Itâs an effort to register anything around you.
The blood, the champagne, the bubbles tickling your nose.
âWhile you have been pardoned of your crimes,â the Adjudicator resumes smoothly, clearly eager to get the conversation back on track and out of the way. âIâm afraid no such thing has happened with Mr Wick. A man who has shown no loyalty, no regard for the rules. It is by that logic the Tableâs decrees that the punishment should fit the crime.â
Winston hums loudly, his head tilting as he nods in absentminded agreement.
You take another sip of your drink, frowning at the taste of blood in your mouth. Fitting, somehow.
You might have scrubbed yourself clean of blood before coming up here but it still stains the cracks of your skin. Cuticles stained with red, mouth stained with red.
Red, red, redâŚ
John straightens at those words. He looks beat from his own fight but remains quiet. Yet, he can no doubt sense that somethingâs wrong.
âYouâre correct,â Winston states, no affliction to be found in his voice and he steps closer, pulling something from behind his jacket. âSorry, Jonathan.â
BANG
The gunshot is like a thunderclap through the too still morning.
Johnâs body jerks with the impact, a gasp sounding a second later, and you look at him while Winston steps closer.
BANG
John scrambles backwards, his bulletproof clothing absorbing the impacts but it wonât get him far.
â(Name)!â he calls out desperately, pained, his eyes seeking your form out, his voice cracking and splintering.
You canât help and wonder if heâs scared. He sounds scared. There is something ironicâdownright hilariousâin the knowledge that heâs facing death yet calling out your name like it may prove to be a salvation. Â
Itâs the first time since you asked him not to use your real name that he uses it. But you donât move. Donât respond to the plea for help. Mercy.
You just stare at him, indifferent and cold, knowing that even if you tried you couldnât muster up any emotional response right now.
Winston fires again, and again, and John veers towards the building edge, his knees shaking.
The managerâs expression remains vacant, cold, and he shoots again, no hesitation in his aim. Not a single falter. Itâs one of the most well carried out executions youâve ever witnessed. Â
Johnâs back hits the ledge and you watch in near slow motion as he tips over the edge falling at least twenty floors down and towards the concrete below.
You hear the metallic bangs as he hits a few fire escapes on his way down but still donât move.
Then, impact so loud it splits the air.
Then, stillness.
The typical buzz of New York City waking up resumes. Time restarts and goes back to its natural flow once again.
Throwing your glass back, you drown the remainder of the champagne, licking your lips twice, yet blood still lingers.
Winston lowers his arm, approaching the edge but the Adjudicator gets there first. Charon is only a step behind them, and you force yourself to move after them as well.
The Adjudicator gazes down for a long, assessing moment, silent. Their head turns towards the manager who meets their probing stare flatly.
âI assume weâre done here?â he questions.
The Adjudicator inclines their head and, predictably, switches their attention to you. âYou did not help him.â
A fact, not a question, yet it demands an explanation all the same. Your tongue moves on automatic, forming words that taste brittle.
Everything feels brittle.
âWhy would I?â you wonder dully. âHe betrayed me not so long ago, and nearly killed the majority of my friends less than a week ago. I learned my lesson.â
Chuckling, you turn your back to them, walking away leisurely. The glass clangs back onto the coffee table, a shriek of a sound. âI have served. I will be of service,â you echo the mantra pleasantly, faint with scorn.
Every word bleeds venom through your heart.
You donât face them again, and no one stops you. The terrace doors slam shut behind you, and itâs a deafening bang that reverberates. You force yourself to put one foot in front of another. Keep walking, keep walking, keepâ
Itâs a blur, your feet dragging behind you. Youâve stopped bleeding but still have to halt at one point, leaning your palm against the corridor wall to rest.
Youâre teetering andâ
Your life is not your own, it never was. Â
Your room sits untouched. The door opens with a click thatâs like a kiss against your hairâso soothing and loving, comforting in ways that you could never quite explain.
The table is still an organised mess; notes half-unfinished, empty vials, dried ingredientsâall littering the wooden surface, and you approach it slowly.
Exactly as you left it before you departed for Rome.
It seems like a lifetime ago now.
Everything is the same here, frozen in time.
Except nothing is the same.
Your fingertips trace over your notebook; a new formula, a collection of improvements on old ideas, scribbles that donât make much sense to anyone but you. Â
Your legacy. Your work.
This room is a testament to who you are. What you have become.
A tragedy.
Not a legend, or a fighter, just a tragedy of a girl.
A sound escapes you at that, strangely wounded, and you lean the heels of your palms against the table edge, your vision blurring.
Tragedy, tragedy, tragedy.
A puppet stitched together by different hands, influenced by different people.
Youâre a product of someone else.
Every victory from your past sours and cracks with that realisation. You must have made him so proud.
You hate this room, this table, these plants, yourself.
This time a scream rips from the back of your throat. A brutal sweep of your hands wipes the table clean, everything plummeting to the floor with a booming crash.
You destroy everything in your path. Glass explodes, paper rips, liquids spills. Youâre panting, sweating, and shaking by the time you come back to yourself. The floor is a mess, the whole room is.
A glint catches your notice when you spin on your heels, and your head snaps to the floor-length mirror across the room.
You donât recognise anything about the bloodied, tear-stained, wild reflection that glares back at you. A monster is all that stands there. Alone and devoid of everything.
Distance evaporates between you, and you slam the hilt of the only weapon you still have left into the glass. The Elderâs dagger shatters the mirror upon contact. Cracks fracture your face before the mess crashes at your feet with another ear-splitting echo.
That uses the last tendril of strength left in your bodyâperhaps your very soul.
Your knees fold under youâand itâs almost soft, your crumbling.
Weightless and empty you settle on the floor.
Tears stream down your cheeks, hitting the crushed glass in front of you but you donât wipe them away, donât make a single sound. You canât.
Your forehead lowers between your knees, your hushed sobs the only noise permeating through the peaceful room.
You don't get back up.
B4.
. . .
AN:Â
well.Â
now you know.Â
not sure how many of you are even around to read this but a fun game to play now that you're done:
- reread COA from start to finish, noting every use of "honoured guest" in relation to V spoken by her enemies throughout the years, even the elder himself. Â
#john wick#john wick x reader#santino d'antonio x reader#santino d'antonio#keanu reeves#riccardo scamarcio#john wick fic#john wick imagine#santino d'antonio imagine#fanfiction#fic: children of ares
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Is that seriously your password? (Birthday One-shots)
Prompt: Is that seriously your password?
Challenge: justkending Birthday drabbles and one-shots
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 2100+
A/N: This was asked for a by anon, so thank you to whoever you may be! I thought this was cute little one-shot once it came to me! Also, coming up with the password took me a seconds, but then I heard Sebastian's voice in my head and well... Here we are;)
âHey FRIDAY? Who all from the team is in the compound?â Y/N shouted from Tonyâs lab where she was working on a new piece of equipment for her uniform.Â
âEveryone is out either on a mission or off the compound premises for personal business,â the AI responded. âHowever, Sergeant Barnes is in the living room reading.âÂ
âHe works. Can you ask him to come down here?â she continued, never breaking from her computer screen she was typing away on in front of her.
âOf course,â FRIDAY responded before going quiet for a minute and speaking back up. âHe seemed rather confused by the request, but heâs on his way.â
âAlways paranoid that one,â Y/N mumbled before shouting a thank you and going back to typing a storm.Â
A few minutes later, Bucky cautiously peaked through the glass doors to the lab and saw Y/N completely entranced in whatever she was working on in front of her. She was typing and scanning the screen quickly and then immediately turning to a notebook beside her to write whatever it was down.Â
âWhy are you calling me down here out of all people?â he said almost concerned.Â
âBecause everyone else is either fighting bad guys or off away from the compound doing their own thing,â she responded, finally breaking away from her computer screen upon hearing his voice.Â
âOh,â he nodded before looking around and hesitantly coming in more.Â
He didnât care to come down to Starkâs personal man cave much. Tony still threw sarcastic insults and passive jokes at him every once in a while even though they had made up and moved on. But it was Tony. He was kinda that way with everyone. Either way, they only really crossed paths if they absolutely needed too.Â
âHere, come here for a second,â she waved him over, pushing back her chair as she stood up and stretched some.Â
Bucky listened even though his face showed he was confused and hesitant about it all. It wasnât Y/N either. They were actually good friends after all the missions and team dinner and movie nights of getting to know each other. They shared a lot in common. She was an old soul for a pretty young member of the crew and Bucky admired that. Because of her mannerisms and interest, they got a long rather quick. It made it easy for them to instantly click.Â
âWhat are you doing?â he asked when he saw her raise her hands and projections of pieces of her suit for missions popped up in pieces in the air with what looked like notes and statistics floating around them. The blueprints for it all lit up in front of them without a screen to stay on. He may never get used to the advancement of technology because anytime he saw something new, something crazier would pop up soon after.
âI came up with some new little tricks for my suit. Itâs not not a bad outfit, but thereâs always something new that can be better and improved,â she shrugged, moving the pieces around in the air with her fingers.Â
Oh yeah, and next to Tony and Banner, the woman could maneuver through almost any form of technology as if it was as easy as learning how to count to 10 on your fingers.Â
âI only have the metal on the bottom of my boots, and itâs worked for this long. But, I feel like thereâs ways I can discreetly add more throughout the suit without weighing it down, making it easier to maneuver when Iâm airborne.â
Another note to know, Y/N was an enhanced. She had the ability to bend and manipulate any form of metal. So the metal that Tony had built into her shoes made it to where she could lift herself off ground level and fly. However, through trial and error, they noticed that they couldnât really add it to many other places as it weighed her down and made fighting a lot less agile. Donât get it wrong though. She made it work. She just preferred it to be better.Â
âSounds like a smart idea.â He paused in the silence as she continued to analyze the layout in front of her silently. âDid you just want company to show off that big brain of yours, or am I supposed to give you an opinion?âÂ
He was sassy with her. She was sassy back. It was the way of their friendship for the most part.Â
âNo, Barnes. I need you to give me your password,â she said, wrinkling her nose at him with a stink face before moving back to the computer. He chuckled at her facial expression and followed her to her setup.Â
âWhy do you need my password? You have your own account,â he questioned, watching as she went to log into the files under SHIELD's confidentials.Â
âNo, actually. Mine went caput last night,â she huffed. âSome weird glitch happened, donât ask me how because you would think Stark tech is more advanced, but whatever caused it made my account go haywire. In saying that...â She clicked a few more things moving faster than Bucky could keep up with on the screen. Then she turned to him and leaned back on the counter. âTony was supposed to make me a new one or fix it, but he bailed on me today for brunch with Pepper... In Capri.â She let out a big breath. âSo until he gets back, Iâm at a standstill getting the information I need to fix this.â The smile on her face showed she was done telling her story.Â
âSo you need my password to get confidential information?â he asked, crossing his arms and putting his weight onto one leg. âWhat kind of confidential stuff are we talking here because I donât need Tony going through my history and asking me questions I canât answer,â he pointed with raised eyebrows.Â
âHighly doubt he cares or has the time to go through your history, Buck,â she laughed, turning back around and raising her hand with a swift motion bringing the chair to her without actually touching it.Â
Bucky looked down at it as it moved and noticed the metal base of it. He was always shocked anytime she used her powers. For one, she was rather graceful with her own for the most part, so the act of watching her do it, was somewhat mesmerizing. But also, he was still trying to wrap his head around people born with abilities like that. Wanda really threw him for a loop the first time he met her.Â
Shaking out his head and following to stand by where she was sitting, he argued with her statement.Â
âYeah, Iâd think about that again,â he winced. âOut of all the people Tony is going to keep an extra eye on, who do you think it is?â
Y/N paused and turned to him scrunching her nose.Â
âOk, yeah youâre right,â she nodded. Bucky sent her a look in agreement. âBut I promise itâs not for anything crazy. I just want to find a resource for the lightest metal we can get our hands on. I think if I can get some of that, I can place it throughout my suit to not weigh it down as much and make any hand to hand combat about 100x easier and more fluent.â
âSounds like a solid plan. What file do you think is going to hold something like that?â he nodded, crossing his arms again and leaning his backside on the table facing her in her chair.Â
âThe same one that talks about vibranium,â she sassed some. âI just want to run some analytics to see my options on what will be most malleable for the suite. Some metals may be lighter, but that doesnât always mean suitable for tons of kinesthetic motions.â
âYouâre too smart for your own good,â he shook his head, smiling at her.Â
âI know. I got the beauty and brains,â she smiled with a shrug, but she was playing around. Y/N was never one to boast about herself. She was as humble as Tony was egotistical. âOk, enough small talk. Whatâs your password, Barnes?â
All that was left to do on the page she had pulled up was type in said password and she was in.Â
âUh, I donât really want to say it outloud,â he said, becoming bashful all of a sudden. His arms tightening around him self consciously.Â
âWhy?â Y/N asked with a tilt of her head. âScared Iâll remember it and hack your account? May just search for some things that Tony would love to tease you about.â
âHaha,â he said flatly. âAnd no. I know for a fact you would never do that. Youâre too nice for that,â he responded. âItâs just. Itâs an embarrassing password.â
âIt canât be that bad. Come on, just say it Mister so I can get my research done!â she persisted, poking his flesh arm.Â
âHere, let me just type it,â he said, moving to the keyboard.Â
âNuh-uh,â she said moving the keyboard with a flick of her wrist out of his reach. Damn practically everything for having some form of metal in it. âIâm too intrigued now. I want to know what it isâŚâ The mischievous gleam in her eye showed Bucky he probably wasnât going to win this.Â
âWhat happened to your sweet innocent self?â he said slightly shocked by her antics, but not able to hold back a chuckled.Â
âItâs her off day today. She needed a break⌠And a little fun,â she smiled wider. âCome on. Just tell me. I promise I wonât make fun of you.â
âI donât think you can keep that promise.â
âHave I ever not?âÂ
âI mean that one time when you promised to make chocolate chip pancakes because I was having a bad day, and then ditched me for a mission,â he noted. The fake hurt was exaggerated in his eyes.Â
âHey! I have no control over when something like that comes up,â she pointed at him. âYou know that too on a personal level.â
âStill never got those pancakes though,â he said, letting out a disappointed sigh as he shook his head.Â
âUgh, fine. How about this?â she started, leaning back in her chair. âYou tell me your password, and if I laugh then I go make you those famous pancakes now. If I donât laugh, you have to drop that whole thing and not bring it up again.â
He weighed his options watching her. The two staring into each others eyes bargaining in silence. Sure Bucky didnât want to say his password, but worse case scenario she laughed, maybe teased him a litt, but he got pancakes. And he knew she would laughâŚÂ
âFine. But just know, I like my pancakes with extra chocolate,â he sighed, relaxing his muscles some. âAnd whip cream.â
âWonât need to. Iâm tough enough to not react to whatever it is,â she smiled, bringing the keyboard back over. âOk, so what is it?â
He stayed silent for a minute. God, he hated saying it outloud. Not that he really ever had to, but still. It was embarrassing.Â
âItâs⌠Itâs WienerSoldier1917,â he mumbled.Â
âIâm sorry, what?â Y/N said with wider eyes. She heard him, but she was wondering if she heard him right.Â
âThe W and S are capitalizedâŚâ he practically whispered looking down. When he didnât hear a response but insead deafening silence, he looked over seeing her biting her lip and trying her best to suppress a laugh. Her face became slightly red and her eyes started blinking fast as she tried to pull herself together. âYeah, Iâm definitely getting those pancakes,â he sighed with a shake of his head, not being able to hold back his own soft smile.Â
Not even two seconds later, Y/N was in a laughing fit. Practically falling out of the chair. If Bucky hadnât caught her when he did, she would have gone over the side and brought the chair down with her, but he casually kept the chair from tipping with one arm.Â
âOh, thatâs just too good,â she finally got out after a few minutes of full on, stomach aching laughing. She wiped her eyes at the few tears that had come down and shook her head. âIs that seriously your password?â
âYou know Tony came up with it! And he knows I donât know how to change it!â Bucky defended.
âOh, Tony. What a comedianâŚâ Y/N sighed, catching her breath. âOk, back to business.â She typed in the password not being able to hold back yet another round of laughs as she typed it out. Bucky just rubbed his temple as she went about her research and giggled.Â
After pulling up a few things, she turned to him.
âOk, I own you a batch of pancakes now,â she smiled, standing and organizing the desktop. âIâll come back and finish up down here later.â
âYouâre not even upset you laughed, are you?â Bucky said following her in step to the door.Â
âOh, I knew I was going to already with how you were acting. I also knew I was hungry and up for something sweet anyway,â she shrugged. âWin, win for me.â
âYouâre a punk,â Bucky faked shock, nudging her shoulder with his own before opening the door for her.Â
âEh, like I said. Sweet-innocent Y/N, as you called her, has a day off,â she smiled up at him before wrapping her arm through his. âHey, and after breakfast? Iâll show you how to change your password,â she looked up at him with a wink.
The two chuckling and talking as they walked upstairs arm and arm to the kitchen.
My Lovelies forever:
@natura1phenomenonâ @lauravicenteâ @kakakateyâ @traceyaudetteâ @notyourtypicalroseâ Â @laneygthememequeenâ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauceâ @sandlee44â @thorne93â @thefaithfulwriterâ @marvelfansworld @essie1876â @greyeyedsmile14â @capsiclehanââ Â @xostephanieââ @averyrogers83ââ @awesomenursingstudentââ @gh0stgurlââ @cs-pleaseââ @carls1022ââ @jjlevinââ @rainbowkisses31ââ @carls1022ââ @anise-d-castle6ââ @deannotmooseââ @their-bibliophileââ @kitkatd7ââ @willowbleedsonpaperââ @mariaenchantedââ @snffbeebeeââ @couldabeenamermaidââ @rebekahdawkinsââ @alyispunkââ
Bucky Barnes Tags:
@chloe-skywalkerâââ @charmedbysargeâââ @jbarnessâââ
@bellamy-barnesâââ
Marvel Tags:
@thejourneyneverendsxâââ @death-unbecomes-youâââ @heyiamthatbitchâââ @lizzymacy555âââ Â @srrymydoodâââ @xa-diaâââ @redhairedfeistynerdâââ @morganclaire4âââ @connie326âââ @captain-asguardâââ @mollygetssherlockcoffeeâââ @teenagedreams-buckyâââ @shower-me-with-rosesâ
#bucky barnes one shot#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#marvel bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes drabble#bucky barnes x y/n
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~ đđđđđđ đĄđđđĽđŚđŁđđ¤ đ đ đŞđ đŚ ~
Part III
Š sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved
All picture rights to their respective owners.
âđ đđĽđđđĽ: Photographer!Hyunjin x fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT, fluff, character driven story, stranger to lovers, summer!au, soft!dom hyunjin x fem!reader, PIV, penetrative sex, protected sex (wow first time writing that, good on ya cher) sexual photos/pictures taken during sex, semi-public sex, orgasm (m/f), cum, fingering, blowjob, light choking, praise kink, handkink??
đđ đŁđ âđ đŚđđĽ: 5.4 k
âđ đĽđ: am so creative with the office numbers? right? tell me im creative LMAO
oh god this was a fucking pain in the ass to read through i cringed at every sentence so hopefully my pain will be your pleasure
Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST
ONEď˝TWOď˝THREE
Unlike any other day you couldnât get out of bed. A boulder of nervousness plaguing you. Through the cracks of the blinds the sun shined in, small particles of dust floating around your resting figure. You were wide awake yet you felt asleep, your thoughts consuming your mind as the dimly lit room became brighter as time ticked on.
You were thinking, perhaps overthinking. This whole situation with Hyunjin seemed confusing and happened way to fast, your psyche not having a moment to digest the events that unfolded during the last couple of days.
Love was a feeling you were familiar with. You knew how it felt. Those butterflies in ones stomach, fluttering everytime a thought of the person passes through your ones.
You felt the same feeling everytime you thought of Hyunjin.
How his soft lips would feel against your cheek that was hot from just looking at his beauty. How his blond hair falls in his face everytime he puts it into a ponytail, his silver decorated fingers tucking the stray pieces behind his pierced ear. These thoughts alone would make your heart beat faster than ever, you eyes clouding with lust even if you knew that this relationship would be impossible given the status the both of you have in this judging industry.
Pushing the covers aside, you sat up before slowly stepping out, your feet hitting the cold flooring of the apartment. You stretched your arms upwards, feeling your spine extend as you squinted, a ray of sunshine hitting you right in the eyes.
The boulder in your chest didnât feel any lighter but you still got up, wanting time to fly by fast just so you could see his face once again.
âĄ
No amount of mindfulness exercises could calm the churning of your stomach. The clock in your living room ticked as you watched it with careful eyes, waiting for the time to hit precisely half past before you got up from the couch and shuffled over to the wardrobe, only being stopped from a pling on your phone.
[Bangchan] y/n! can you come by in about an hour? need to discuss some concept photos, sorry for such short notice â¤ď¸
Thatâs when it hit you. Bangchan didnât know anything about this. He didnât know that youâd seen the photos from the shoot and most importantly that you went on a date with the photographer. You could only describe the feeling as âimproperâ. Bangchan was after all one of the closest people in your life, he made you to who you are today and lying to him felt wrong but you shielded your eyes from the truth as you typed back.
[y/n] soz, got plans
[Bangchan] I donât see any other meeting scheduled for today?
[y/n] you do know that I have a life outside of work? take the day off Chan, you could use some rest â¤ď¸
[Bangchan] Donât worry about me! You have fun alright?
[y/n] alright, see you next week then ^^
You clicked on the off button on your phone, making the text messages disappear. Getting paranoid, you plopped down on the couch, thinking about every possible way you could get caught which youâd already been, photos of you and Hyunjin circulating throughout social media but they mustnât have reached Bangchan just yet. You felt like digging a hole underground, wanting to hide away from all these thoughts. The main thought in your mind was whether or not you understood Hyunjinâs intentions.Â
What if this love was one sided?Â
Waveing your hand in the air, you attempted to get the mind out of your head as if you were breaking up a cloud of real thoughts. You glanced up at the clock and only then realised that you were running late, as usual.
âWear whatever you wantâ
Was what Hyunjin said last time but that didnât make it easier to choose an outfit. Standing infront of multiple racks of clothing you pulled up the weather application on your phone. âSunnyâ you mumbled, making you gravitate towards a beige croptop with white stripes around the neckline as well as a white tennis skirt. Not too dressed up but not too dressed down either, just right. Clothes were flying everywhere when you searched for a pair of white socks to pair with your white high platform sneakers. You put the outfit on, observing yourself in the mirror and smiling, trying to get yourself in a better mood rather than being a nervous wreck. Pulling up your phone, you snapped a picture and sent it to the person who knew best about fashion. Jisung.
[y/n] Sungie! Is this acceptable for a impromptu photoshoot?
The fashionable boy replied minutes later.
[Jisung] oh!! thatâs so cute! very much acceptable in my book đĽş
You smiled at his reply
[y/n] phew! good...Â
[Jisung] is it a date?
Your fingers froze above the keyboard on the phone. Was it that noticeable? Was this really a date?Â
[y/n] no!!!
[Jisung] you sure, i saw those photos on social media. ahh.. y/n dating famous photographers now...
By this point you were sweating bullets.Â
[y/n] first of all, iâm not meeting him and second of all, heâs a friend so shut it.Â
[Jisung] hahah alright alright... i wonât tell Bangchan
[y/n] you have nothing to tell!! weâre friends just like you and I so be quiet otherwise iâll come over there with balloons, popping them in your face.
[Jisung] oh wow... im so scared...
[y/n] need to leave, if i hear something about you spreading some rumors iâll seriously do it.
[Jisung] Photo Attachment.
The photo that popped up was from yesterday and your breath hitched. You couldnât help but to notice the way Hyunjin was looking at you, his eyes filled what seemed like adoration.Â
[Jisung] yeah because that totally doesnât look like a date
[y/n] DONâT TELL BANGCHAN PLEASE
[Jisung] oh so it is a date? alright, i wonât! have fun and be safe
[y/n] be safe? weâre taking pictures, not drag racing
[Jisung] hahah stop playing innocent
Your eyes widened in realisation.
[y/n] you crazy fucker
[y/n] I WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE WARDROBE IF YOU DONâT SHUT UP I DONâT SLEEP ON THE FIRST DATE
[Jisung] Whatever you say
Thanks to Jisung you were now running dangerously late leading to you snatching objects from all corners of the apartment before ordering a cab that would arrive in minutes.
âĄ
âWeâve arrived, missâ the cab driver says, smiling at you through the rear-view mirror. You thank him and step out of the yellow car, a smell of car exhaust hitting your nose. The cab drives away, leaving nothing but a small cloud of smoke. You looked up, almost not seeing the tip of the building as the skyscraper towered over you. Youâre beside the busy road, mouth agape. Youâd walked by a couple of times but knowing that you knew the person that owned at least a bit of the building made you giddy.Â
You walked in and was greeted by a grand lobby, a front desk as big as the wall behind it. The entire place was filled with people, everyone from business men in suits to trainee models in the most flamboyant outfits. Fishnet stockings, heavy chains and distressed jeans that consisted of more air then jeans material. The sun shined through the many glass panes that made up most of the ceiling and the slight breeze of the air conditioner made this whole vibe of the building comforting.Â
âHi! y/n y/l/n, meeting Hwang Hyunjinâ you say to the receptionist that was a relatively old woman, probably in her early 60â˛s. She was wearing a white button down shirt with her hair in a high bun, a couple of gray strands sticking out. Her red painted mouth contorted into a smile.Â
ây/n, Hyunjin said that you could make your way to his office without the guards. You must be a close friendâÂ
You smiled shyly with your warm cheeks, looking at either side of the desk where two tall buff men were standing, wearing walkie talkies on their black vests. With a small nod, you started speaking.Â
âW-where exactly is his office?â
âFloor 20, his main office is in room 03âł
âThank you!âÂ
You quickly shuffled over to the elevators, pushing the button that lit up with orange light emitting.Â
PLING
The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped inside, a couple of office workers joining you and pressing the necessary buttons to make the elevator lift off.Â
You step out at the 20th floor, looking around at all the intricate wall design, everything inspired by ancient greece which explains the broken vases that were scattered across the hallway in the most unconventional places. They were all encapsulated with glass and standing on tall white pillars, the vases looking rather sad, being in a spectra of ashy grey colors, every single one of them falling apart.Â
Stopping, you observed this one vase that caught your attention. It had swirly details around the edge and was shattered in a rather beautiful way. It made you think how even the most broken pieces still carry beauty, beauty unique to only oneself.Â
âItâs pretty right?â
The voice sounded familiar and warm, almost as if it had anticipated your arrival.Â
ây-yeah, it really isâÂ
You say turning around, nearly jumping up on the wall when seeing the figure that looked back at you. It was Hyunjin.
Yet again, his presence was astonishing. Everytime you met him it felt as if youâd met him for the first time. The blond boy was standing tall in front of you, wearing a black hoodie, black basketball shorts and a matching headband. A backpack was thrown across his one shoulder and a smaller camera around his neck, everything about his appearence looking completely different from the last time you saw him, his style usually more sophisticated.Â
âOn your way to meet me, yeah?â he asked and you nodded shyly.Â
âMy office is the other way, you know?â
You lifted your gaze to look at the tiny sign on the wall that pointed in two directions, you were walking down the hallway for offices 20-40 by accident and you smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of your head.Â
âI didnât know heh...âÂ
âItâs alright! Come with me, I was on my way to the studioâ
âWhat room is that? Your office?â
âNo, the room next to my office, come! Iâll show you!â
He grabbed your hand and you felt your body stiffen as he dragged you down the hallway, his hand not being decorated with statement rings this time, instead feeling soft and warm. You blanked out, your legs walking by themselves.Â
He stopped at a brown door, a tiny gold sign saying  04  and beside it a transparent sign stating that this was a photography studio. Hyunjin opened the door and dragged you in, closing the door behind you.
A cold wind hit your warm body, the air conditioner blasting itâs breeze with a faint sound. The room was wide, one wall being made completely out of glass, stand close enough and you could peer down the bustling city filled with people, cars and buildings. The typical photoshoot setup was already in place, the camera being propped up infront of a white backdrop, a white pilar in the middle and two boxlights standing unlit behind the camera. In the corner stood a vintage brown leather couch, the swirly metal details were concealed with a layer of chipped gold paint. Beside the couch stood a simple white table. A black bucket rested on the floor and upon closer inspection you noticed plants, multiple stems of eucalyptus poking out, wrapped in cellophane.
âWhat are these for?âÂ
You sat down on your knees infront of the bucket while Hyunjin was pressing buttons on the camera that was screwed onto the tripod before walking over to the table and placing down the camera he had around his neck, his backpack lying lazily on the floor. He looked at your crouching figure, the corners of his lips going upwards.
âI thought theyâd suit youâ
You held in one of the stems, turning your head and looking at his shy smile, his dimples sitting playfully on the sides of his cheeks. You giggle, standing up and leaning against the white pillar, holding the plant in your both hands.Â
âDo they?â
Hyunjin walked towards the steadied camera, bending down and peeking through the lens.
âThey doâ
click
Your eyes widen, him snapping a picture without you paying attention.
âHey! I wasnât even prepared!â you chuckle, pointing at the blonde boy with the long plant that was dripping at the stem.Â
âNature is a bit more beautiful when caught off guard, donât you think?â Hyunjin says, his honey-like voice, echoing through the room.
You nod, staring down at the leafs of the plant, rubbing them between your thumb and pointer finger.Â
click
clickÂ
click
âTry leaning with your butt against the pillar and with one foot fully on the side of the pillarâ
You did as he told, the pillar being surprisingly stable.
âTilt your head and look down to the rightâ
Once again, you follow his instruction and he hums in satisfaction before pushing the button on the camera twice.
click
click
Your warm face turned into a smile, laughing loudly from embarrassment when he observed the pictures on his display. He snickers quietly from shyness, a faint blush brushing across his features as his brown eyes were glued to the screen. Hyunjin peeks up from the camera, seeing you looking down at the backdrop that was filled with ashy grey shoeprints.Â
The sound of his footsteps got closer until you saw them in your periferal view causing you to look up at his tentative face. He smiles, displaying his pearly white teeth and crescent shaped eyes before stretching his hand out, feather light fingertips grazing your hot cheek as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, your dainty gold earrings now visible. Hyunjinâs hand lingers on your jaw as he looks at you with a gleam in his eyes, you gulping loudly as your gaze lowers to his pouty pink lips. Leaning forward, Hyunjin tilts his head, attaching his lips onto yours, your heart skipping a beat from the comforting feeling of having him close to you.Â
You drop the fragile twig on the floor, kissing him back by pursing your lips and tilting your head as well. The romantic tension that has been bubbling on the surface everytime you met had finally subsided, now the air overflowed sexual tension.Â
Cupping his blushed cheeks, you deepen the kiss my licking his plump bottom lip, coaxing his tongue that eventually slipped into your mouth. His hands were firmly planted on your waist, pulling you closer to his body that radiated heat in the already scorching summer weather.Â
The two tongues danced around in a impatient manner, the two of you dreaming of this moment since meeting. Hyunjinâs hands roamed over all the valleys of your body, placing his hands on the bottom of your butt, pulling you even closer, close enough to feel his semi-erection against your abdomen. Your eyes spring open in realisation, your body melting in his arms as you felt the effects of the deep kiss, the effects being you unable to control the wet patch that was forming on your underwear, nothing but the thin fabric seperating it from the air due to you wearing a skirt.Â
Pulling away from the kiss, your hot breath and a line of saliva was the only thing that seperated you and Hyunjin. You shielded your face from his twinkling eyes, you glancing at the blonde boy through the gaps between your fingers. His two hands grip your wrists, pulling your hands down as he smiles widely
âDonât hide that pretty faceâ
Hyunjin giggles, your chuckles following shortly after. The boy grips your wrist tightly, walking backwards as he looks intensely into your eyes, his back falling against the couch as you sit down on the couch on your knees, he looks at you for a moment before attaching his lips again, pushing you down and hovering above you. The wet sounds of the sloppy kiss fills your ear, you helplessly rubbed your thighs together in anticipation. His fingertips trailed down your chest, tracing small circles on the inside of your thigh before plunging down under your skirt, grazing the wet spot on your underwear. The both of you smile into the kiss.Â
âCan I?â Hyunjin says, momentarily pulling away from your sweet lips and tugging on the edge of your panties. You nod shyly, not believing that this is happening.Â
His lanky fingers run up and down your wet folds as you put your hand at the back of his neck, pulling his blushing face closer to yours and pursing your lips to kiss him sensually. Hyunjinâs fingers gently brush up against your clit that was swollen from excitement, sending shivers down your spine.Â
You knew this was wrong, the door wasnât even locked meaning that anyone could walk in at any moment but the way lips felt on yours made a thousand fireworks ignite, sparking from your chest. Wrapping your hand around his wide wrist, you guide his fingers down to your sopping entrace, your entire body craving him inside of you.
Hyunjin places once last peck on your soft lips before looking at you with concern, asking for permission with his fluffy brown eyes. You nod, your eyelashes gently fluttering over your eyes. His middle finger slips into you with ease, shortly followed by a second finger from seeing how good your cunt swallowed his digits, your essence coating them. A faint gasp escapes your lips as his fingers felt around your velvety walls, the whole situation still feeling like a dream.Â
âD-does it feel good?âÂ
âmhm!â you hum, nodding your head as your grasp around his wrist tightens everytime he curls his fingers upwards. Small whimpers came from you as his fingers started pumping in and out, the blond boy chuckling at your reaction.Â
âDid you think I was innocent?âÂ
The question lingers in the air as you look at him in the eyes.
âY-yes,,,â just as the question you let the answer hang in the air as Hyunjin hummed, being knuckles deep into you and curling his fingers upwards once more, making you choke on your own moan. Hyunjin nodded slowly, glancing down at your body as he thought.
âItâs because,,, because youâre shy,, different from the others.â You added quickly, filling the silence that was soon interupted by your whimpers as the so called âinnocent boyâ started circling your sensitive bud with his thumb.Â
âI think youâre different from the others, you make me like this babyâ
Hyunjin said, seconds later crashing his lips against yours, his tongue attacking yours. He retracted his fingers, the tips coated in your juices and glistening in the sunlight. You whined inbetween kisses, the feeling of being empty leaving you disappointed. Hyunjinâs veiny hands trailed up your stomach, pulling the croptop up and resting it just above your boobs, your white bra exposed.Â
Hyunjin pulled away from the kiss, the both of you breathless as the kisses you exchanged were anything but light. His two damp fingers made their way to his mouth, licking them with a slight smirk on his lips. You could go crazy from the sight alone, his big brown eyes turning blank with lust. Not being able to control yourself any longer, you sat up on your knees and pulled off the top, unclasping your bra while youâre at it. As the fabric hit the floor, Hyunjinâs eyes darted to your bare tits, the wind from the air conditioner stiffening your two sensitive buds. You looked at him with a jumbled expression, him staring at your nipples for what seemed like an eternity. You hummed softly, causing him to snap back into reality, the blond boy pulling the black hoodie up from his head, displaying the defined muscles on his abdomen. You wanted him, you wanted him so bad.Â
Your knees hit the floor with a thump as looked up at Hyunjin, knealing between his two legs and watching the tent in his loose shorts grow.Â
âDo you really want to do this,, y/n,, you donât have t-â
You hushed before speaking.
âDonât worry, Hyunjinâ you say with a stern voice making Hyunjin shiver, not knowing if itâs from your tone of voice or the way his name rolled of your tongue.
The blonde boy grabbed the small camera that was resting on the table, you looked up at him with confusion before smiling at his pleading eyes that met yours. You nodded, knowing exactly what he wanted to do and giving him permission since you never knew if heâd get to see you like this ever again.Â
You hook your two hands on the sides of his shorts and underwear, pulling the fabric down as Hyunjin awkwardly lifts his hips up from the couch for a moment, allowing you to slide the both garments down in one nimble motion. His veiny length sprung out, the tip hitting his abdomen for a moment before resting infront of your eyes, a bead of precum already leaking from his delicate slit. You gulp, the task of sucking him off suddenly seeming daunting. Hyunjin must have noticed since his face turned concerned, a half smile flashing across his lips.Â
ây/n,, you donât have to-aghh!â
Hyunjin was cut of by his own breathy moan, your pursed lips wrapping around his leaking tip, licking small kitten licks before sinking deeper down his impressive length. Hyunjinâs blonde hair fell out of his face when his head rolled back in pleasure, resting it against the back of the rustic couch.Â
âf-fuck y/n,,, just- just like thatâ
He hummed out, his sweet voice intoxicated with desire. Your tongue swirled around his pretty red tip, simultaneously stroking the part doesnât fit inside of your wet mouth. Multiple shutters of the camera was heard, his hand barely stable enough to hold it due to the pleasure that was shooting through his core. It didnât take long before his dick twitched against you lips, your cheeks hollowed as bob up and down his girth. His eyes rolled back into his skull as his hand went down to cup your cheek, your eyes stinging with tears as you choked around him. Pulling off with a pop, his dick glimmered as a heavy layer of saliva rested on it, his already warm body turning hotter. He looks down at you, a smug half-smile errupting on his lips as he continued to stroke your cheek, his thumb grazing your cheekbone as he flicked through the photos on his camera, the half-smile now a full on expression of happiness. The two of you sat like that for a while, the silence engulfing the room as you observed his indescribable features. His sharp jawline contrasted with his soft skin that had a dust of rose pink across the cheeks, his moles adding to his charm.Â
âFuck me, Hyunjinâ
The words slipped out of your mouth, his brown shiny eyes widening before being overtaken by a blank gaze, placing the silver camera back on the tiny table.Â
âYou thought I would stop here?â
Now it was your turn to be flustered, his sugary sweet voice interlaced with the cocky words making you even wetter then before, if thatâs even possible. Without answering, he pulled you up to the couch by your hand and laying you down before realising what he forgot. The blond boy reached for the baggy backpack laying on the white floor, unzipping the front pocket and fishing out a condom. You nodded shyly, feeling your hands getting sweatier from nervousness, not really sure where to put them. Hyunjin noticed your gaze that was running all over the room, your body slightly tense. The boy snickered, ripping the shiny wrapping open with his hands where veins had started to become apparent.Â
âSomething wrong?â He asks shyly, placing the condom on his leaking tip before rolling the rubber onto his length. You shake your head.
âJ-just thinking,,,â you say, your voice fading out at the end.Â
âAbout?â His voice inhibiting a questionable tone as he holds himself up above you, his elbows on either side of your head.Â
âA-about,,, youâÂ
That was a lie. You thought about how this would end up being disclosed to your company and your friends, Felix would snap your head if he found out that you slept with Hyunjin. Did it even have to be disclosed? Couldnât it just be a secret between you and Hyunjin? As much as you wish that it could, it simply couldnât. Not working in this industry.Â
Hyunjin smiled softly, his hand trailing down the curves of your body before lifting up the fabric of your skirt, his fingers pushing your panties aside and feeling your throbbing pussy once again. His caramel eyes looked into you the entire time.Â
Lifting himself up, he positioned the tip of his member at your sopping entrance, you chuckling softly as he gripped your hips but your chuckle was quickly replaced by a loud gasp, his dick stretching out your tight pussy better than you thought.Â
âAre you ok, y/n?âÂ
He said softly, his dick not even halfway in but already jerking from your welcomingly wet and warm cunt wrapping around his crimson tip. You nodded, looking up at him.Â
âPl-please,, keep going Hyunjinâ
The blonde boy blushed, his ears turning red. Tightening the grip on your hips he fully entered you, you shutting your eyes tightly from the slightly painful but pleasurable experience. Glancing down at you, he had to use every bit of discipline to not pound into you. In his eyes you looked angelic. Your parted lips that weâre coated by saliva and the way your skirt bunched up around your waist made it feel like torture to be inside of you, not moving to let you adjust to his size.Â
âC-can I move?â He asks impatiently to which you smile, nodding and wrapping your legs around him, pulling him closer to your warm body. Your breath hitched as he softly wraps his hand around your neck, him thinking heâd gone too far.
âI-im sorry! I-âÂ
You hush him, placing your index finger over his plush pink lips.Â
âIâll tell you if anything doesnât feel good, alright?â You so desperatly wanted to place a âbabyâ at the end of the sentence, that nickname fitted him but being to scared to confess your feelings. Just because he wants you doesnt mean he loves you. Hyunjin nodded like an excited puppy, finally getting the permission of moving and feeling your clenched walls around his length, his one hand still wrapped around your throat.Â
His thrusts were slow, filled with passion which only worsened your longing for him, the longing of him being yours. Small whimpers dripped from between your parted lips, the moans being mixed with Hyunjinâs low grunts and sounding like a melody. You peeked up at the model-like boy, his expression being synonymous to pleasure. The movements eventually quickened, his long cock hitting your cervix with every thrust, making you put your hands behind his back, your fingernails digging into his soft honey skin. His previously closed eyes fluttered open, watching you with a soft gaze through his fierce eyes. You smiled and he smiled back before his gaze drifted away from yours.
âY-you feel so good y-y/n,,, youâre an angelâ
Chuckling and moaning at the same time, his praise gave you a sense of security but also a sense of lust, wanting to coax out even more dangerously sweet words from his pretty mouth.Â
âGo faster,,, Hyunjinâ
You gasped out, the pleasure starting to pick up itâs pace. The sound of skin slapping against each other bounced off the white walls in the big studio, the old sofa creaking ever so often from the blond boys powerful thrusts. Hyunjin would never get tired of hearing you say his name, never.Â
The knot in your stomach signaled your impending orgasm as your walls were stretched out. You pleaded him to not stop, your voice sounding frail as you neared your sweet release. The hot tempeture wasnât helping the situation, sweat beading underneath Hyunjins headband, soaking the two strands of blonde locks that hanged infront of his face.Â
âF-fuck,, y/n youâre so pretty with my hands wrapped around your throat, fuck-âÂ
A loud groan escaped his lips, the pleasure of your wet pussy against his rock-hard length getting too much, Hyunjin having to hold back until you came, not wanting to appear selfish. It wasnât long until you felt your legs shaking around him, your toes curling as the squeaky sound from the couch increased along with the speed of Hyunjinâs thrusts, the rubber not giving him as much intimacy as he would have liked but the visual of you lying beneath him, squirming away from bliss and softly moaning made up for it.Â
âI think- i think Iâm cumming, s-shit Hyunjin, Iâm cummingâ
The words spilled from you, quickly followed by a incoherent mumbling of his name before a wave of hot flashed through your entire body, your walls clenching around him as your erotic juices coated his twitching cock. You held your hands against your face that was lightly coated with sweat but before you could come down from your high Hyunjin pinned your hands above your head by your wrists, him letting out a growl before his cum filled the tip of the condom. The both of you rode out your powerful orgasm, your moans softening as the intense feeling subsided, Hyunjin shivering with his last thrust before pulling out.Â
The light sound of the air conditioner was now accompanied with heavy panting, your chest heaving as Hyunjin softly pulled down your skirt and ran his hand through his blonde hair, pushing the stray hairs away before rolling off the cumfilled condom and throwing it on the floor, the rubber landing on the dark clothing that were pooling next to the leather couch. The young boy lays down beside you, your eyes fixed on the ceiling as you faded away in a million thoughts, still trying to process what just happened. You turned your head against his, feeling his lingering gaze on your face and you swore you could hear your heart beat in your ears as his cheekbones lifted, his now cherry red lips turning into a soft smile.Â
âDo you like me?âÂ
You choked on your own saliva, coughing and sitting up in panic making Hyunjin worry, him patting you on the back as he sat up next to you.Â
âI-im sorry,, I shouldnât have- y/n,, so-sorryâ
He mutters out as you start laughing, he looking confused at your chuckling figure.Â
âT-thatâs,,, quite the direct questionâ you say, clearing your throat before continuing. âI donât know Hyunjin. You know that this isnât possibleâ
You saw his previously twinkling eyes turn blank, his heart sinking.Â
âUhm,,, n-no totally not,,, I just said it to-â
He tried to play cool, brushing off the fact that he didnât get the answer he so longed for. His gaze turning away from your angelic face.
âBut I like youâ
You spoke quietly, your voice cracking at the end. Hyunjin turned back to you.
âWhy wouldnât it work then?â he asked with a confused voice. You sighed
âHyunjin, do you not know who you are? We fucked in a building where you own half of the rights, you work with famous people and your work is in every magazine, donât you understand?â
He stayed silent for a while, comtemplating on what to say before grabbing your clammy hand.Â
âDo you only see me for my career?â
You shake your head, trying to catch eye contact with the blonde boy but failing as he stares down at your small hand in his grasp.Â
âHyunjin, I love you but this feels way to quick,,, I canât just-â
âIâve known about you for a while, y/n. Do you know why we even worked together in the first place?âÂ
Hyunjin speaks calmly, a thin string of sadness threading through his voice. You shake your head, looking at him but he looking away.
âI reached out to Bangchan firstâ
You werenât surprised, only confused. What did he see in you?Â
âI know it might seem,, rushed! But if- if we both like each other then we can make it work. Please donât worry about our reputations, you are more than your career y/n even if it means the world to you.â
Hyunjin hesitated finishing his sentence, feeling sick to his stomach from the fear of rejection. You withdrew your hand, instead opening your arms and hugging him to which he smiled and hugged you back, the both of you falling back on the couch facing each other.Â
âI think I love you,,, like,,, I really love youâ
Hyunjin brushed away a strand of hair from your face, his tender eyes meeting yours.Â
âAnd I love you too, y/nâ
đđđđđđ¤đĽ
@vogueinnieâ @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighetteâ @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo @fleeingrealityâââââââ @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms @p0t4t0don14ll @skzstanlol
#stray kids fanfic#stray kids smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids drabbles#stray kids reactions#skzsmut#skz smut#skz fanfic#skz x y/n#skz x stay#skz x reader#skz x you#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x reader#stray kids x stay#stray kids x female reader#hyunjin smut#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x you
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The best present - Harry Styles
Sequel to UPDATE
on demand, this is a fluffy little sequel to update, hope youâll like it! tagging the people who asked for said sequel: @urdadbtchâ @f-vasquezpâÂ
word count: 3k
masterlist
Harry has a soft spot for surprises. Especially if he is the one planning them for a loved one. The overflowing joy he sees in oneâs eyes upon receiving a carefully planned surprise just gives him a different type of satisfaction in life, one he couldnât live without.
His life has taken a pleasant turn ever since Y/N entered it, virtually and in a real dimension. It hasnât been the easiest with his hectic schedule and her anchored life in Spokane, but with some time paid to adjusting to the situation they managed to make it work. He wouldnât have settled for anything else, because he just simply couldnât imagine his life without her anymore and luckily she felt the same way.
Harry fell in love with her quicker than what it took for the weather to turn cold in the fall. It felt like the most natural thing that has ever happened to him, to fall for her whole being, everything thatâs her on the inside and outside. Harry often caught himself thinking what he did in life to earn such a beautiful person in his life. He hasnât figured that one out yet.
Y/N was like a warm summer breeze on a hot august evening, easily charmed anyone and everyone Harry introduced her to. She slowly but surely met some of the most important people in Harryâs life and he just couldnât wrap his head around the fact that it felt like sheâs been part of his life since forever even on the first meetings.
âShe is wonderful, I love her,â his mother told him when they finally had the chance to meet upon a weekend they spent in New York. It was a lucky time when both his mother and Y/N were free and he took the chance to cook up a mini vacation in the city right away. Anne was thrilled to meet the woman that had her son wrapped around her fingers even before meeting.
Harry felt like he was on the top of the world when he saw the two women get along like theyâve been friends for years, it filled his heart even more.
The situation was quite the same with Gemma, in just a blink of an eye they were making plans on their own not including Harry, which hit him a little hard in the chest, but he was happy knowing they found the common ground.
âYou amaze me so much,â he once told Y/N when they were spending the night at her place, one of those weekends when Harry flew all the way to Spokane just to spend less than 48 hours with her. Even with the long flights and hustle that came with the traveling he wouldnât have done it any other way. If he could see her smile for just ten minutes he would have travelled days.
âI do?â she asked smirking up at him, putting her book aside as she rested her chin on his tattooed chest.
âMhm,â he hummed with a quirky smile. âIn so many ways.â
âWrite a song about them so I can listen to it,â she told him as a joke. Little did she know that not even a week later thatâs exactly what Harry did. It was another addition to the endless list of songs she inspired.
December creeped its way around the corner faster than they were expecting and in a blink of an eye every store was filled with Christmas ornaments and wrapping papers, the most iconic Christmas songs were played everywhere, making those who work at retail want to throw Michael BublĂŠ and Mariah Carey right out the window for every having the thought of recording Christmas music.
Harry and Y/N had plans for the holidays. They agreed on spending three days from 22nd to 24th with his family and then fly to Portland to be with her family from the 25th to 27th before they head to New York City to spend the last few days left from the year together and celebrate the new year at a party Harry was invited to.
These plans were set in stone right until Harry decided to surprise his lover with the best gift he could think about. It was a tough call and took him weeks to arrange but Harry was able to get Y/Nâs brother to leave for the holidays earlier, on the 21st instead of just the 26th.
âWhy are we changing it again?â Y/N asks curiously as she sits on Harryâs lap when they are changing their plane tickets so they could start the holidays at her family instead of his.
âMom is not going to be home until the 24th,â he lies and then adds: âGemma is also gonna only arrive on the 23rd. Figured it would work better. We would be at your parentsâ from the 21st to the 23rd, go to the UK from 24th to 26th and there is an early flight so we would be in Portland by the time your brother arrives.â
He had spent a long time figuring out how to manage the dates so she wouldnât be suspicious. Seemingly, it worked, because Y/N nods as she stands up and walks over to the kitchen.
âAlright. But isnât that too much of a hustle to go back and forth two times?â
âNot that horrible,â Harry smiles in her way, his fingers moving fast on the keyboard to make the right changes for their trips before she returns and sees that the dates are not exactly the same as he told her. Luckily, she hops onto the kitchen counter as he finishes up and closes his laptop feeling ecstatic about the surprise he has planned for her.
âItâs gonna be busy,â she points out as Harry walks over to her, placing his hands on each side of her on the counter.
âBut we will be busy together,â he grins leaning closer to steal a kiss.
As the days pass by Harry is growing more and more excited about the surprise. He almost slipped a few times upon talking about the holidays, but managed to save the situation just in time. Y/N had no idea what he had in store for her.
âThatâs all your stuff for our trip?â Y/N asks when Harry arrives to her place with his decent, normal sized suitcase that has his essentials for the next about seven days while they will be on the road. He glances down at his bag before walking inside and setting it down in the hallway.
âLove, Iâve learned how to pack in a smart way,â he tells her teasingly before pecking her on the lips while he takes his coat off and hangs it in the hallway.
âYeah, but itâs an entire week. Iâm going with twice this much.â
ââCuz you are packing for New York as well. Weâll be staying in my place, remember? I donât need stuff for that time,â he reminds her and he is right, but she is still amazed at how he managed to fit everything he needs into just one suitcase.
That night Harry lies awake with her sleeping form next to him. Looking around the room he thinks about how this is the same place he fell in love with her, but it was through just a screen. All the plants, the furniture, the bed he saw behind her in the videos are now his reality as well and in just a few short months they have grown so close to each other, he couldnât imagine his life in a different way.
âWhatâs the matter?â he hears her groggy voice coming from next to him and looking to the side he sees that she is blinking at him in the dark.
âNothing,â he shakes his head, turning to his side to face her, noses almost touching on the pillow.
âThen why arenât you sleeping?â she asks, sneaking a hand to his back under the covers and she starts to gently stroke his skin with his fingertips, sending a shiver down his spine.
âJust⌠excited about the holidays,â he whispers with a shrug. He canât tell her that he is excited to meet your family, especially your brother since he is kind of the reason you ever got the chance to meet. He feels like he is too worked up about meeting her parents and cousins, but he canât wait to feel like he is part of her family. What he doesnât know is that she already sees him as part of it, has been since she realized how deeply in love she is with him.
âMmm, excited about your gifts?â she teases him with closed eyes, but her fingers are still moving on his back. Harry lets out a soft chuckle.
âEspecially about those.â
He brings his arm around her frame and pulls her to his chest as they make themselves comfortable under the covers, legs tangled, her face resting on his chest as he gently strokes her arms, soothing her back into sleep.
âI love you,â he whispers thinking she has already fallen back asleep. It wasnât the first time he has said the words to her, but tonight just feels a little different.
âLove you too,â she mumbles back pressing a kiss to his naked chest before she sighs and lets herself fall back into sleep.
 Her family knew about the change in Sammyâs arrival, but Harry made them promise they wonât say a word to Y/N, keeping it as a surprise.
Her mother welcomes the two of them with warm excitement, the house already smelling amazing from all the different cookies sheâs been baking, the dinner is also in the making on the stove.
âFinally here!â she hugs both of them, even though she hasnât officially met Harry, only talked to him on the phone about Sammyâs early arrival. âCome on in!â
The two of them get rid of their winter attire before Harry turns to her mother holding out a hand to make their first meeting official.
âSo nice to meet ya, Iâm Harry.â
Instead of taking his hand her mother pulls him into another tight hug that he returns with a soft chuckle.
âIâm so happy you are finally here! Iâve heard so much good about you,â she tells him with a sly, knowing smile while Y/N is not looking. âI can tell you are a blessing to the family already.â
âThank you,â he nods smiling.
Harry meets Y/Nâs dad and two of her cousins who have arrived earlier and they all gather in the living room just talking at first, then soon enough they start playing board games. They get stuck on Activity, the pairs are Y/N and Harry, her mom and dad, and her two cousins. The competition is burning up the house, Harry can tell they all take the game very seriously.
Through the game Harry keeps glancing out the window, waiting for a car to park at the driveway. He has sent a car to pick Sammy up, but since he didnât have his phone on him just yet he couldnât let Harry know when he would be arriving exactly.
Just after he is done drawing in one of the rounds he sees the black car pull up at the house. Harry pretends to get a call and he can see the excitement grow in her parentsâ eyes as they already know what this means, while Y/N is oblivious to anything thatâs about to happen. Harry quietly makes his way out of the house hoping he didnât draw her attention, and thatâs when Sammy gets out of the car thanking the driver for the ride. As he turns around Harry is stunned to see how much the two of them resemble. He sees her eyes in his, their ears curl the same way and he has the exactly same hair color as her. There was no doubt the two of them were related.
âHarry, right?â he asks holding his hand out firmly that Harry takes smiling.
âYeah. Sammy, I supposed.â
âThe one and only,â he chuckles holding his bagâs strap over his shoulder.
âI would love to chat more, but I think we should move inside first,â Harry suggests and Sammy follows him up the few stairs that leads to the front door.
âHarry! Come on, we are up next!â Y/N calls out from the living room as the two guys walk inside.
She is seated on the floor, her back to the hallway so she doesnât see when the two men walk in, grinning from ear to ear. She only notices something is happening when she sees her mother gasp happily at the sight of her son.
âWhatââ she starts but turning around her words disappear as she stares up at her brother who she hasnât seen in what feels like ages.
Harry overflows with joy when he sees how shocked she is, in the best way possible. He watches her leap to her feet and jolt right at Sammy, throwing herself into his arms as he lifts her up, twirling her around in excitement.
âHi there, little sis,â he chuckles still holding her close as she is fighting with her tears upon the surprise she just had.
âHow⌠What are you doing here early?â she asks in total awe as she tries to comprehend that he is truly here, in her arms.
âAsk you boyfriend,â Sammy chuckles looking in Harryâs direction. âHe arranged an early leaving for me, I donât know how, but he did,â Sammy adds letting go of his sister.
As her parents make their way to their son Y/N moves over to Harry, still in complete disbelief that he did this.
âHow?â she asks, arms snaking up around his neck while his hands get a hold of her waist.
âI have⌠connections,â he shrugs shyly and she just shakes her head laughing before she pulls him down for the sweetest thank you kiss.
âI canât believe you,â she sighs pecking his lips once again.
âWhat I canât believe is that he could keep it a secret this long,â Sammy speaks up.
âWait, how long have you known this?â
âA couple weeks. Got it finalized early December,â Harry admits, feeling proud that he could make this happen.
âSo this is why we had to change the tickets!â she gasps in realization. âWhen do we have to leave for real then?â
âWe are staying until the 25th, our plane leaves in the afternoon,â he smiles warmly as he sees her eyes light up. According to the original plans they would have had only two days with Sammy at home, but this way itâs almost four entire days. âThis was the most I could get, Love,â Harry adds, feeling a bit guilty that they are leaving to see his family, but Y/N shakes her head.
âThis is absolutely perfect. You gave me the best present,â she smiles cupping his face in her hands as she pulls him down for another kiss.
This Christmas goes down as the best one she has ever had. The time they spend with her family holds a special place in her heart, especially because she loves seeing her family and Harry get along so well. She now knows what he felt when she met his mother and sister. Seeing him be so kind to her mom and have loads of things to talk about with her dad and brother warms her in a way only Harry can make her feel.
The feeling doesnât change when they arrive to his home. She feels like she is part of the family just as much as he is. They spend some splendid days with his extended family, enjoying the spirit of the holidays and she is almost sad when itâs time for them to leave.
âCome back soon, Sweetheart,â Anne tells her when they are saying goodbye at the airport.
âI will, if he is okay with bringing me next time,â she chuckles glancing at Harry by her side.
âOh I sure am, Love,â he smiles kissing the top of her head.
Those couple of days they spend together in the city holds memories they will surely never forget. They finally get to spend time together without anything interrupting them, just enjoying the little moments, falling deeper in love with each passing day.
The last day arrives in a fast pace and neither of them can believe the year is ending so soon. They spend the day in bed mostly before itâs time to get ready for the party one of Harryâs friends is hosting in Manhattan.
Itâs a nice way to end such a wonderful year, they mix and mingle with the guests but keep each other close, especially when they reach the last minutes of the year left. Harry takes her hand and pulls her out to the balcony to have some privacy before the countdown.
âCrazy how we are here,â he sighs as his arms are wrapped around her figure, warming her body as much as he can in the New York City winter time.
âWho would have thought?â she chuckles placing a sweet kiss to his jawline.
âNot me,â he admits laughing. âBut Iâm glad itâs my reality now.â
Y/N smiles up at him with gratitude in her eyes, just when the countdown starts inside.
âHave you ever had a New Yearâs Eve kiss?â Harry asks as he pulls her closer, if thatâs even possible.
âSadly, I have not.â
âThen can I have the pleasure to be your first?â he smirks down at her and she just nods biting into her bottom lip.
âThree! Two! One!â the guests call out inside as the whole city erupts at the same time, fireworks go off and cheering echoes through the building, but it all fades into nothing as Harry leans down and kisses her sweetly. They spend the first couple of moments of the new year melted together until they pull back for air. The crispy winter air has turned his nose red quickly and she is lost in how adorable but handsome he still manages to look.
âHarry Styles,â she sighs feeling defeated by her own feelings. âYou are one wonderful creature, you know that?â she wonders, as if she was saying her inner thoughts out loud. Harry chuckles as he presses a kiss to her forehead.
âThat makes the two of us, Love.â
Iâm opening a Harry taglist, let me know if you are interested in being on it!
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