#like yeah ok understandable. but ALSO
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i just don’t want to be upset during the trip. i don’t want my mood to ruin things, but i can’t help shutting down if my body is processing too much
#like the only way i can control future melt downs and overstimulation is by planning in advance#by making plans to give myself all the support i need to stay as comfortable as possible#if a had told me this even a month ago i would have had much more time to prepare mentally#i don’t get that now. i literally gotta jump right into this shit#oh i just remembered another thing they said that upset me#we were talking about the whole situation and they said something like#‘yeah i just don’t think it’s fair to tell someone they can’t drive with us so close to the show. not fair to make him drive’#like hello. hello. are we on the same page rn#obviously not. oh my god#not fair to him to cancel so close to the event after you said he could hitch a ride months ago#like yeah ok understandable. but ALSO#CONSIDER. it’s not fair for me either !!!!!! to drop this news on me four days before hand!!!!!!!!!!#angry i’m so angry i’m mad this is such bad#bs#i’m getting too tired to wrap this up#but does any of that make sense#it’s just very frustrating like i rlly tried to man up even after they said that#like I apologized after they said That … ok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#ok i can’t keep my eyes open goooooooodnight
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too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.
#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit#about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels#like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they#broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane.#im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them#and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong#i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma#if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more#ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month#but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories#so make of that what you will#and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them#i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them#anyway yeah#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes
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it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏
#there’s a threshold I think of what I accept in comments about characters#and their actions or about who is in the wrong or what should happen#because I do like reading people’s opinions#and sometimes when someone is like I didn’t like obi-wan in this fic#I’m like makes sense! maybe you weren’t supposed to or maybe the argument they had was supposed to not be clear cut on who is right#because arguments in real life don’t always have a clear cut winner or morally superior person lmao#I’m ok with that I’m ok with comments saying boo this character is annoying#because sometimes they just are (eg the amount of people who just don’t like obiwan in pbatmb like?? yeah of course he’s not gonna be nice#but I digress lol#anyway but there’s a threshold of when comments about not liking a character go too far and you’re just like.#saying mean things about the writing itself and that’s not something lm gonna allow to be normalized#no matter the intention behind it#you do not type a comment like this knowing it wil be send to an author#who will get an email notification about a comment#click on it and go oooo long comment :D and then go oh.#you don’t do that it’s rude it’s being a jerk#I’ve been here for like 3 almost 4 years I feel ancient in this fandom sometimes#and I’ve gotten so much feedback on my work through that time and so many nice comments and community#but mean comments can really hurt especially new writers#and they can make people who maybe would write fic for a fandom decide to not#like this isn’t even that mean I can almost see the writer just wanting to say how they feel#but sometimes you do not have to 🙏#also I just think this understanding of the characterizations in the fic and probably their understanding of the characters in the films#is a wee bit trash but that’s for me to say in the long tags of my own blog post and not for me to comment on their fics for the fandom#(they don’t have any but I did check because 3am kit felt nosy)
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THE MABEL HATE IS SLOWLY COMING BACK GUYS *GRABS SPRAY BOTTLE* NO!! *SPRAYS WATER ON YOU* NUH UH!! WE ARE NOT ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN AGAIN!!! ISTG!!!!
#If Mabel was a boy would people act the same way I wonder#Anyway#gravity falls#She was like one of my favorite characters#Ok like- alot of characters are my favorite in this show but I liked her a lot LMFAO#I DONT UNDERSTAND THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF HATRED SOME PEOPLE HAVE AGAINST HER#Like yeah she fucked up at times but she’s also a literal 12 year old
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A portrait of Sir John Herschel because I‘m normal about Pulp Musicals
#yall don’t understand this took so long- amongst the five different versions this went through it took a total of 22 hours#and it’s finally done#god I love sir John Herschel#truly THE guy ever#it’s crazy because I started this way back in the beginning of April and finally picked it back up on Wednesday right before they announced#pulp 4 which I’m so fuckin excited about by the way#oh my god it’s going to wreck me I’m so pumped#and now I gotta get ready for pulp fortnight#but yeah I really wanted to draw him and I wanted to try something more elaborate that some of my typical stuff#I was going to do the shit where artists do the shading in greyscale and then overlay the flat colors but I decided fuck that#because I like to enjoy drawing and as I found out I DO NOT enjoy that#also for some reason doing realism and drawing curt is SO much harder than what I typically do#it took sooooooo long to get him down and make it actually look like him#oh hey fun fact about this drawing before I do my fun fact- I used a screenshot of Duke as a reference for this#ok now for a real fun fact#fun fact: Asteroids can sometimes have moons and rings of their own#alright now I’ve got a billion other drawings to go work on because the grind never stops yall#sir john herschel#john herschel#pulp musicals#the great moon hoax#the brick satellite#the ghost of the antikythera#Curt mega#my art#god yall I love pulp musicals#I’m so insanely pumped for pulp 4 it’s going to be the raddest thing ever#EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS NEEDS TO GO LISTEN TO PULP MUSICALS PRONTO /nf#PLEASE (its on Apple Music and Spotify)
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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huh sorry for disappearing for like a day and a half. a weird guy appeared
#words from the monarch#i actually thought id reblogged At Least one thing yesterday. or had said Something on discord yesterday & today#anyway yeah the tickle fetsih guy contacted me the day after the anniversary of when they first started harassing me.#and i dont think i want to post screenshots of that bc i fianlly like. Talked To Them. tried to make them understand.#and if they Do understand i dont want to put them on blast.#and also i guess it just freaked me out bc i thought i'd ip blocked them#but then yknow. they just message me like it's nothing. like 5 months later#so they can probably read this.#anywya in Talking To Them and exlaining how This Is Harassment And I Dont Want Them Around Me i hope they finally understand now.#i told them i was going to block them at the end of it and they said ok#and i guess i just didnt feel like Blogging after that#but also like after That i didnt feel like drawing. i still dont right now. but im making little polymer clay things#anyway im normal + fine. i hope me talking to them or talking abt it here now doesnt incense them to start harassing me again#they told me they understood and that they wouldn't bother me anymore 👍 so
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this isnt the kind of stuff i'd usually post but im fuckin losing my mind. ive been watching through the bilibili livestream vods of like this arknights lore creator reading through and commentating on like the game stories and right now im watching the vod from his main story chapter 11 stream and his reaction to logos' sprite reveal is so fucking funny i had to clip it. man is really having a crisis on stream
#arknights#arknights logos#i guess????#im really just posting this for my own amusement bc my friends on my priv twt are probably sick of me talking about logos SKJHFDKSJH#sorry for the questionable caption quality i slapped this together in like 5 minutes#i recorded another version with like the bilibili on screen comments but i figured theyd be too messy but for the record#ok the commenters were mostly also losing it over logos but at least a few people were making fun of that 'WH???' bc yeah WHAT was that#the bit before this was also extremely funny like when logos showed up to kick the sanguinarch's ass and the bgm cut out#a few people in the comments were like watch out logos is here to pull out your speaker wires#to all the people who followed me for like my orv art. genuinely get used to just randomly being jumpscared by arknights every now and then#this is my house and sometimes i will just randomly go insane about gacha game pngs. that's just how things go around here#edit yknow that really iconic chapter 11 logos cg yeah the guy got to that point and was like#i cannot believe that one day i would suddenly find a MAN so fucking attractive and chat was like split between ohno and UNDERSTANDABLE TBH
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes I’m making all these posts in a row#it’s bc I’m obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUND—HIS#STORY (HIS pov. however ‘abstract’ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost… bc wolves actually have family and I’m p sure the#lone wolf thing is a myth… after she realizes that she’s not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things I’m thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space… bc she’s vulnerable to her past here…. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamus’s friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) —was it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm there’s so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole ‘her needing to release her anger’ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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like i see people say stuff like “rei is a deconstruction of the idea of like the perfect girl in a male gaze-y way” and and i'm ready to agree until they go “it’s because she’s creepy and weird and bad!” like no. rei's a deconstruction of misogynistic ideas of womanhood because they’re ideals forced upon her that damage her, not because she’s in any way “creepy”. like, the fact she’s a fourteen year old girl who was basically used as a substitute wife by her father bc she looked like his own dead wife is not something that is meant to make rei look bad like holy shit.
like both rei and asuka are very obviously like. showing fantasised and misogynistic ideas of an idealised woman don’t work irl yeah. shinji's misogynistic view of them is wrong. but that’s not because rei and asuka are bad people it’s because like. “fourteen year old who's flirty and seductive” and “fourteen year old who's a quiet obedient object” are major signs of abuse and trauma and anyone actually acting in those ways at that age clearly isn’t normal. asuka is desperate for attention in any way she can get it, even unhealthy and dangerous ways. rei is at the very least I has a weird pseudo-incestous enmeshment filled abusive relationship with her father, even if she's not actively being sexually abused. asuka is seeking support, rei is a grooming victim. these are not things that are flaws in their character the entire point of subverting the expectations is to show how those expectations are unhealthy to rei and asuka like. god.
#like. negative fucking media literacy.#like. rei and asuka show signs of abuse in ways very normal for teenagers#every one of the Children in Evangelion is a victim and they react in messy ways#the point of that isn’t to show that they themselves are bad. it’s to show how trauma fucks you up#like none of them are bad people! they do fucked up shit bc it’s normalised to them!#people will just centre rei and asuka’s trauma around shinji and then call the show misogynistic for that like.#woah pal. there’s issues in the show yeah but i think that’s more an issue on your end buckaroo.#like their trauma interacts with him. and his trauma interacts with them. bc the show is literally about human's influences on each other#like the human instrumentality project isn’t there to just be funny it’s a thematic conclusion???#and also like. it’s comparing and contrasting all threes trauma to understand exactly how they got shaped the way they are.#just. think about the show you’re watching. please.#rei isn’t creepy she’s a schizophrenic abuse victim who's probably done the least screwed up shit out of the main cast#shinji isn’t a loser he's a heavily mentally ill young boy cracking under the pressure of toxic masculinity and having his boundaries erode#until he's unable to even respect the boundaries of others and recreates his trauma for a desperate attempt at control#asuka isn’t like. okay i mean she IS a bitch but literally so is every thirteen year old ok.#and it’s bc she fucking despises the vulnerability being kind shows. she despises herself and is overcompensating bc she’s scared and 13#like. god.
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#coming out of retirement for this post lads#i have been keeping up mostly btw!! ive just been WORRKINGGGGGGG#i worl Thurs-Fri-Sat you can understand the issues i face#worl?? work#anyways#yeah and im sure everyone here understands how much it BANESS me to hype martin but#also 2022 bestia finished 3rd n 2023 bezz 3rd like cmonnnn the satellite ducatis are still bomb bikes#ducati is such a good bike#sucking ass for the majority of their motogp history is now paying them back tenfold ok#*Marquez murrr hes doing so welllll wowoowwwwww* yeah hes on the bike that won the title last year?? bike that got 91 points back????#the satellite cock sucking is getting to me girls even when they hype acosta#that's something thats killing me bout the tnt commentary team atm actually#they keep raving about acosta but then being like *but we expected this so pft lets move on*#but then acting like Marquez is christ reborn hello both of them are performing EXACTLY as anticipated#dramatic ass BITCHESS#motogp
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forever amazed and confused at how often transformers franchise just straight up depicts suicide attempts. like not even considering the superhero trope of "i have to save everyone!!! by choosing to die!!!!!" thing. like. non-allow-yourself-to-die-to-stop-a-thing-from-killing-everyone-immediately type situations. which tbh i wish more ppl talked about but not the point here
like. sure mtmte, a comic abt mentall illness and war, i expected it to be aware of the concept. but its not handled well and mostly used for shock value or "im better now i swear! i have a husband and everything" BUT ITS IN THE KIDS SHOWS TOO??? MY BESTIE G1 RODIMUS?? BEAST WARS DINOBOT???
#my pupils dilating so wide when that one beast wars episode opened on dinobot reciting shakespeare and then pointing a sword at his chest#also im mean i think only beast wars was successful at trying to be like 'but you Have to Live.'#i love them both dearly but g1 does not love me and mtmte does not love me. do u understand#mtmte being like 'you just have to meet someone to live for!!!' -> doesnt work even in canon ->#-> 'nono im still right you just have to meet someone to live for!!!'#but im fond of g1 just showing a guy whos told to die go 'yknow what yeah ok'. and then gets revived but god thats so fucking funny#psychological drama where rodimus doesnt get found on time and now the autobots have lost two leaders and my girl haunts the narrative#suicide tw#suicide ment#dummy posts#srry im still thinking abt mtmte. cd being like. i dont want to kill myself bc of my spouse. my spouse is dead but#i dont want to kill myself. ok my spouse is back time to kill myself so he can be happy with someone else.#ok no killing myself my spouse said no.#everyday tho im upset abt my babygirl red alert. mental illness woman used for jokes shock value rodimus angst then tossed tf out only to#come back 'better' but then BAM 'evil influence mind control by evil villain'. but shes polygamous now i guess thats going for her#sorry um. red alert isnt canonically a woman im just weird abt her. shes a mentally ill butch woman to me i need to hang out with#her so bad we could spiral together
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People trying to "solve" the star wars prequels are always so fucking stupid. The whole point of Anakin is that he's a villain. If you're trying to find a reason to explain why he's not actually the bad guy, you've already lost the plot, because have you seen the fucking movies? That's the whole point of him!
#red rambles#don't even understand why you would consider yourself an anakin fan if you want him to be the protagonist and not darth vader personally#we can talk about whether or not the Jedi failed him but the minute you start saying that i can't talk bad about him or say that he did#anything wrong you have to go back and rewatch the OT. ok? for me?#like yeah sure there were issues with the way that he grew up. yeah sure the Jedi order wasn't good for him. but also the guy did like. so#much murder. like he killed a lot of people. my boy got really good at killing kids. like. he's still the villain.
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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shogun ep. 9 is just bisexual suicide speed chess toxic breakup edition
#the scream i scrumpt when ochiba no kata basically confessed to mariko under the cover of the heir requesting the anjin!!!!!#i KNEW IT#their flashbacks were sooooo homoerotic teenage friendship coded#like yes. mariko/blackthorne is the main tragic romance if we go by the way the show is written#but mariko has 2 hands! she can have 2 tragic love stories about loyalty and betrayal <3#shogun#cavetext#this episode fucking ruined me. also blackthorn asking 'would u consider living for Me?'#in shambles. in goddamn fucking shambles. the convo between mariko and her son..... fuck!!!!!!#like yeah ok she finally found a socially acceptable reason to kill herself after trying to die for more than 14 years#but bro. Bro. BRO#lord kiyama not showing up to be her second. Blackthorn stepping up to take his place. fuck. FUCK!!!#THE LAST MINUTE ASSHOLE EX MACHINA!!!!! god i fucking hate him.#and then the cliffhanger at the end. blowing up fx headquarters#shogun spoilers#<- to be safe lol#anyway this episode was so so full of tenderness. war and hate but also love and peace on planet earth. u understand
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Aang is the sweetest and I love him in your story
Plz more Aang 🥺
do you mean….
THIS GUY?!???! The best character in the show (no don’t fucking argue with me Aang is the best sorry Jet you’re second)
he’s actually being dumb with sokka in the first five minutes of the next chapter so you’ll see him again soon haha.
#Ok so I got all your asks#& was like wtf is up with pphaps my buddy#Then I saw your comment on the chapter and was like OHHHHHHHHH yeah ok I understand haha#Your asks are cracking me up#I fucking adore you#& Aang my little buddy gets to be fun next chapter#For like five minutes then Katara is stealing the show#WE GET THE GIRLS GOSSIP NEXT CHAPTER I CAN NOT WAIT#I’m so excited haha#I love Katara and suki shit talking haha#Also because things are getting more JUICY haha#Anyway love ya friend#Drink some water <3#Liab#ITF#leaving it all behind#Selaphina
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