#like yeah it was pretty fucking horrible!
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I don't even know where to start, sorry, buuut Ghostfuckers spoilers ahead.
"Who needs you anyway?!"
Blitz's avoidant coping once more. I am guilty of avoidant behaviour just like Blitz and while it technically eases stuff, it becomes too much when there's so many problems you ignore and they pile up. This behaviour also makes it hard for someone to be vulnerable, which obviously is the case for Blitz, too. It hurts to be vulnerable. We avoid being vulnerable, because we avoid being hurt.
So instead of trying to talk through with Millie, Blitz opts for being avoidant.
The imagery in this episode is fucking amazing.
Now this is just cruel. :(
She's so pretty, omg...
Once again, the imagery is amazing. It's so beautiful, but so tragic. Fucking horrible in the best way. The torment Blitz is going through of that fateful day.
He's breaking down... Crying in front of someone else; this man is avoidant, as stated before, so if he could help he would NOT do this. He's really tormented by his memories.
They're both so badass damn.
"You don't hate me?" I'm disintegrating rn. Help me.
How am I supposed not to sob my eyes out when I see that face?! Taking mom's accessory piece back.
Holding hands!!! Please, yes!!!
"You've always been so unbothered by everything, almost bulletproof"
That's avoidance, baby! Blitz needs to stop being relatable...
But why-
This absolute POS beating up his already injured son has me fucked up!!! I don't doubt Cash probably beat Blitz many times before, but doing so after being burnt too is a special kind of fucked up! He's always been horrible, and I'm sure this is where Fizz too got his issues (with perfectionism that is) and made him an easy target for Mammon. This mdf really fucked everyone over! Fk him!
And then separating them when they both needed each other so much! Blitz and Fizz needed each other more than ever in that moment, and yet that POS preferred to have them suffer! I'm riled up honestly, we've never seen much of this mf but he's managed to make himself insufferable with just a few short scenes! He's horrible and if he's not dead then I wish him the worst.
I miss my baby-
Being forced to watch all this... Fuuuuck.
He's so terrified of losing Millie too! Fuck!
"Blitz can handle this!" Fuck yeah girl, call that mf's bluff.
"So I'm your best friend, huh?" He's so surprised about that I can't.
"I've never had a real friend that I didn't wanna fuck..."
...Does that include Fizz? Hm?
This episode was fucking beautiful.
#helluva boss#Blitzo#Millie#Moxxie#Loona#Fizzarolli#fizz#cash buckzo#Stolas#Ghostfuckers#Ghostfuckers spoilers
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your analyses of Lin came to mind the other day when I saw someone post about how “Lin should be able to smack Korra at least once.” And like. It’s not just one post, it seems to be a common ‘jokey’ attitude in the fandom, and…it’s really interesting how much the fandom loves Lin acting violent and aggressive towards everyone - particularly against Korra, who acts in a similar “aggressive” manner but not nearly as shitty (imo), but the fandom seems to despise her for it.
So I was wondering if you have any thoughts specifically on Lin and Korra’s relationship? Both in canon and how the fandom treats them?
Oh yeah, I think I've seen that post! I've honestly been wanting to do more Lin metas but have been holding off because back when I posted a lor of Suyin defences I got a not insignificant amount of nasty anonymous asks, and I know that Lin is beloved by the fandom so while I make my passive aggressive comment from time to time, actually dwelling on the subject is a bit of a gambit.
Honestly, it's not even that I dislike Lin. I actually enjoyed her character a fair amount when I first watched the show and was totally on board with the fandom loving this character. But eventually I got so tired of the constant takes about how everyone in Lin's life is soooo mean to her and how she never did anything wrong and she's secretly just a lil bean , she's just a biy grumpy guys.
And, oh, the jokey comments about how Lin should be allowed to smack Korra, a teen, who, in my opinion gets smacked around fairly enough in the show. Or how she should be allowed to curbstomp Tenzin, despite us knowing very little about their relationship other than the fact that Lin atatcked his house and misused her power as a police officer to terrorise his new partner. Or how Suyin, a woman who has gone through so much to change and become a better person and still keeps ger heart open for those who hurt her, should die or be killed.
Like yeah, they're jokes, but they speak to how the fandom quickly takes Lin's side in most situations, even when there is more nuance to the situation. I think taht due to tlok having such a large amount of violence and fight scenes ans perhaps due to the personality of Korra herself, the fandom has normalised Lin's aggressive and often physical behaviour. And because most of the characters are teens, Lin's immaturity as a person doesn't stick out too much.
But Lin isn't a teen, like Korra or Mako. She's a 50+ year old woman and a fucking cop at that. She should know better. I think one of my favourite questions Lin's character mames me ask is: "how long can you cling to your trauma before its your responsibility to strive to do better?".
This isn't to say that Lin is a horrible person. I'd actually say she's a pretty good person. It's obvious she cares and she can try to be empathetic when the chips are down. But her lack of emotional maturity makes it difficult for her to actually act on her feelings when not in a life or death situation.
Ultimately this is what I like about Lin as a character, her duality. A very protective and thoghtful person, who has stagnated in a shell of anger and aggression.
And I think Lin's relationship with Korra ilustrates this duality perfectly.
I do enjoy Lin and Korra's arguments due to their chemistry and the excellent voice acting. But like it is still an adult yelling at and holding an actual grudge against a 17 year old. Who is already under a huge amount of stress.
I also think that we often forget that in her tiffs with Lin, Korra often starts off with a suprising amount of calmness and grace. She often attempts to actively connect with Lin and express her point through conversation, despite this being sonething Korra markedly struggles with.
Korra : But there were some thugs threatening a helpless shopkeeper, and I had it ... Lin: [Aggressively.] Can it! You should have called the police and stayed out of the way. Korra: [Slightly pleading tone.] But I couldn't jut sit by and do nothing. It's my duty to help people. See, I'm the Avatar.
[...]
Korra: Wait, Beifong? Lin Beifong? [Excitedly.] You're Toph's daughter! Lin: [Seriously.] What of it? Korra: [A hint of amusement suppressed in her tone.] Well then, why are you treating me like a criminal? Avatar Aang and your mother were friends. They saved the world together.
Through the first season, we're lead to infer that Lin's unfounded animosity towards Korra has something to do with her grudge against Tenzin. I can see this not only due to Tenzin's association witg Korra as her teacher and the son of the previous Avatar, but also due to some similarities between Korra ans Tenzin. They're both people saddled with a major responsibility and legacy, who struggle with forming their own identity due to that legacy. Plus, the comic we got about young Tenzin is essentially 1 to 1 Korra's first day in republic city.
Side note: can we stop demonising Tenzin for leaving Lin? I'm pretty sure it's not confirmed that Tenzin left her purely because he needed to have children. And honestly if after he broke up with Lin, she damaged his home, used her posution to terrorise his new partner, and held a grudge for 11+ years, I'm honestly not to sure what to think about their relationship pre breakup. ESPECIALLY with how willy nilly tlok plays with female on male abuse. No, I'm not saying Lin is an abusor, but there may be other factors we need to consider. I mean Lin does outwardly laugh and sympathise with Korra throwing Mako's desk across the room which is the Makorra abuse moment ™️
Though I also adore the implication in B3 that Lin is also reminded of Suyin by Korra. This also is a comparison that makes sense. Korra and Su were both young, rebellious women who had to leave home to find themselves. Both had tendency to be sarcastic and were opinionated and had a habit of defying authority etc.
And I think this may be even more of a reason why Lin has such an aggresive vendetta against Korra and also why she's so controlling in the later seasons. Particularly when she gets on Korra's ass at the party and says that Korra is "nothing special" feels targeted towards Lin feeling like Suyin got special treatment.
Lin being controlling towards Korra can also be seen as her trying to compensate for when she tried to similarly control Su, but Suyin ended up defying her. (While I see a lot of people bring up parentification between Lin and Su, I'll lean more towards it being a very intense rivalry)
Either way, Korra reminds Lin of people who have hurt her and the hurt she seems to cling to in some parody of comfort in familiarity.
This is one of the most visible patterns in Lin I see. Her absolute abhorrence of changing her mindset. She holds a grudge against Tenzin for over 11 years. She holds a grudge against Su and Toph for longer than that. She is so horrifically resistant to even touching the idsa that Suyin had changed as a person. And even after her and Su make up, the moment the opportunity arrises, Lin is back to typecasting Suyin as the bad guy.
People say that Korra was too harsh in The Metal Clan when she called Lin out.
Korra : Su's right. You're never going to change. You're always gonna be a bitter, lonely woman.
And yeah, it was objectively an incredibly mean thing to say and Korra was quite out of line. But she's not wrong. We see Lin struggle with making human connections, we've deduced that her grip on the past makes her hold grudges against people she's never met. We see her be immature, aggressive and emotionally closed off. If she were a healthy individual outside of Zaofu, I would encourage her distancing herself from Suyin. But clearly whatever coping mechanism Lin has is leaving her pushing people away and treating teenagers like her peers.
Like something clearly needs to change.
And I think that's another reason why Korra and Lin are such a fun duo. Because Korra goes through so mucuhchange herself. She shanges the world, she changes the lives of her friends, she changes herself.
And that's something Lin desperately needs and yet fears all the same. This also makes it even more interesting that Aiwei, a member of the Red Lotus who embody that "change" concept was a vital part of Lin and Suyin begining to reconcile.
And I think Lin knows this, to some extent. She knows her coping mechanisms are flawed, but she doesn't want to acknowledge this. But I need to talk about Lin's babystep trail of an arc in a different post.
I was gonna say that Lin and Korra are also similar but honestly other than their tempers and tendency to terrorise their tallass ex boyfriends, there isn't much there.
I still find Lin and Korra's relationship to have some sweet moments. I loved Lin and Korra's moment of kinship afterthey both lost their bending, how gently Korra grabbed Lin after she passed out in Zaofu, how Lin helped Korra get up the stairs after she was paralysed.
I think that one of the reasons they argue so much in B3 partocularly is because they care for each other quite a bit. They just embody two polar opposites. Korra- change and danger. Lin- stagnation and protection. Of course they'll fight.
----
I don't exactly like how fandom treats Korra and Lin's relationship because it always feels ao watered down. This kinda extends to the entire Krew too. The 'Lin is like the Krew's mom' thing. Because on the jokey surface, yeah, i see it. Female authority figure who makes sure they don't get into trouble. Plus fandom has a tendency to forcefully assign cishet traditional family dynamics to found family.
But on a deeper level, acting as if Lin were a mother to the Krew is in my opinion, a bit of an insult to mothers everywhere. Because Lin acts less like an adult and more like a... slightly older teen? Which makes sense, we see that very little has changed in how Lin approaches young people since she was 22. She treats the Krew like peers, bickering with them and making snide comments, but then pulls the authority figure when she wants something. That's like the worst type of adult.
[This is ironic because my mom is actually very much like Lin and this is probably why I gave her so much of a pass when I watched tlok the first time]
Lin is a big sister/aunt figure to most of the Krew at best. Maybe except Mako but he has his own demons and is making himself a son figure whether Lin likes it or not.
But Korra is basically Lin's stand-in for her sister and they both act like it too. They act like me and my sister tbh. And Asami and Bolin barely interact with Lin anyway. There's more ground to posit Su as Bolin's potential mother figure!
Lin is a fascinating character to me, but fandom tropes have sorta ruined her for me. I came into the fandom really liking her character but ended up sorta jaded to seeing the same questionable takes about her over and over again. It just makes me see how little her potential is explored in the show. The writers failed Lin, not by not allowing her to 'win' against Su and Korra and Tenzin and whoever. They failed her by not giving her the storyline she needed. The storyline for which the main catalyst, Korra already was at the centre of the board. They half assed Lin's storyline and now literally every character who so much as looked at Lin has to pay the price.
[Ooh wow symbolism Lin glaring at Zaofu, Suyin's home, but actually glaring at her own reflection.]
I now realise that I have gone on for way too long and got hotrifically off topic, but I hope I have explained at least a few if my thoughts?
#also as for people giving Lin a pass for being “angry” and not Korra#i mean grown paleskinned cop in fake nyc#vs#very clearly brown teen girl#who do you think is more palatable to the western audience#god lin is such an american character it feels like I'm being pecked to death by a 100 bald eagles whenever I think about her yoo much#swinging baseball bat at hornets nest type post#lin beifong#korra#tenzin#suyin beifong#linzin#kinda?#avatar#legend of korra#tlok#the legend of korra#avatar the legend of korra#atlok#beifong brainrot#anti lin beifong#<joke tag
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weird pine trees in my minds forest
(it is just vyncent being gay, based off a ghost knife post i made which i shall link at home)
Aren't emotions weird? Vyncent knew they were. They seemed to change over time as he looked at Will. He didn't want to stop looking at him, which...that wasn't "normal", right? Will was great, wonderful even. He was awesome enough that he felt his own body twist his stomach and his face get warm. His legs even feel slightly wobbly if he's close, but he can say that doesn't happen.
He was also very pretty, Vyncent wasn't scared to say it (to anybody but Will, for some reason), his friend was quite nice. Will normally had fluffy black hair that reached his shoulders, but right now he had tied up in the back with parts sticking out the side, also was a bit flatter from Will forgetting to wash it. There was some white strands in his bangs and in the back some more blue curls. His face held a couple of pimples (if Vyncent remembers the word correctly) and the under eyes had deep eyebags. His pants were some black bagged sweats that reached upto his red sneakers. He normally also had on his regular graphic text t-shirt, but this time had sleeveless grey v-neck with a skull and crossbones on it, hoodie around his hips. His hands had midnight blue nails (Dakota managed to do them sometime before) that were barely visible with how dark his hands at the tips were. On the right he had a skeleton fingerless glove and on the other some bracelets and some skull ring he felt like was from Fauna. His eyes were a bright blue, almost glowing, very piercing, but Vyncent liked the way they saw into his.
"VYNCE BE-"
Right, dancing. That's what Vyncent was doing with him. Despite the tail, Vyncent was a horrible dancer without any balance. He figured he could learn from Will, even if he's never seen Will dance before. Could be half an excuse to hold his hand. Who knows, Vyncent won't tell.
Will was definitely stronger then Vyn was remembering, catching his arm and pulling him back up and sending a shiver down Vyncent's spine.
"Are you feeling good Vynce? You- Oh man you are so red, did you get sick again?" Will started laughing a bit.
"I'm feeling fine, perfect and normal, just...wanna keep trying?"
"Yeah, sure, I'll start the music back up."
Vyncent thought he knew the tune from show with gems and magic they watched once, but decided to go without comment. He's holding onto Will’s hand, and he finds his gaze going back to Will's eyes. Oh my fuck, his eyes are entrancing. He keeps stumbling around because rather then focus on his feet, though Will doesn't seem to be holding up too much better. Despite it, he keeps giggling and laughing as he looks at Vyncent, and Vyncent gets redder and starts laughing too as they fumble around their own feet.
Of course, the stumbling on Vyncent's end only ends with one way, falling forward onto Will, knocking them both to the floor. His face is just about a dagger away from Will’s. The only noise at the moment is the faint song playing. Vyncent's just looking at Will, who blinks back at him. Will just starts laughing again. Vyncent feels his heart skip beats and his tail swish and even his ears flutter slightly, turning reds he doesn't know are okay. It's hitting him all at once at just how pretty he finds William Wisp with his not-exactly-right laugh and the tremble in his lips before he speaks and the way his hands seem to grip either just too tight or just too weakly, unaware of their strength, and just every small thing he's heard someone call strange of The Wisperer.
Basically, Vyncent cannot get the thought of just how wonderful Will looks and is.
"We're really bad at this, huh?"
"I thought you'd know this a bit better..."
"Wh- Okay, *why* exactly would I know how to dance?"
"...You're awesome like that?"
"Vyncent, I can barely even use my legs right let alone- just-" He snickers about it. "Me? Dancing?"
"I'm not that observant!" Vyncent noted the way Will tapped his left pointer finger on the floor with his nail, a heart beat pattern almost. He was happy, that's good, and totally not an observant thing to pick up on.
William smirked a little bit. "Imagine if we were dancing heroes." The idea sent a visible shiver down Vyncent's back, and once again did Will start laughing, Vyncent laughing with him. Nothing was funny, it was all just stupid, yet maybe it felt so ridiculous to Vyncent for any of this. William was too pretty for focus, and he tried to get him to teach him to dance without any reason.He wouldn't have been like this before, but he didn't mind how it's changed where he's red on the floor, laughing with his best friend. Feelings are weird, so is he, and maybe it doesn't matter if Vyncent was thinking of William deeper. He can pretend it's a new normal.
#the bright smoothie of words#the description for will is almost exactly how headspace will looks fun fact#thanks kota for writing most of this#jrwi ghostknife#jrwi william#jrwi vyncent#vyncent sol#william wisp#will get this onto ao3 at home for now just a tumblr post#jerwee supreme
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Spoilers for the Vigilantes Manga specifically the School Days Arc because that's what I have to talk about with Hizashi mostly.
Alright here we go. Starting off with the screenshots from my Twitter (a portion is cut out of one because the response was from the OG just talking about how Hizashi was just a boy/kid when they lost Oboro)
(link to the og thread I qrted for this discussion below ⬇️)
Okay let's talk about this. I didn't say a lot in regard to my actual thought process but I have got to talk about it.
First of all: The way in which Hizashi is completely fucking shattered. He's partially mask off in terms of like his entire mental state being shifted into hell. He literally looks about ready to bawl his goddamn eyes out, like he's going to entirely lose himself.
He does technically lose himself, he loses more Hizashi Yamada, the loud "happy" teen with a voice quirk. It's his persona he has aside from Present Mic which I want to say at this point does in some way exist. Maybe not as we know it in the main manga but pretty damn close.
When I say he forced himself to glue the pieces of himself back together and "cope", I mean like he's literally gluing himself back together as he's putting back on his smile. He physically is forcing himself to be happy just for a moment. He goes into the mentality of "I need to be strong for others (Shōta), everything will be okay" when it isn't okay.
It isn't okay here and it isn't okay fifteen years later when that façade entirely crumbles again. I always bring up when I in some way write about Hizashi in general pre-timeskip, post-war that he wears a cracked mask with pieces falling off of it. He really does and this mask probably started earlier in time but ended up becoming worse once Oboro literally was dead in front of him.
He puts up the front when his world view is crumbled, shattered to pieces in front of him that he's still happy-go-lucky in a sense. It's jarring because many people in this situation would've outwardly shown how devastated they are. He starts off that way too and as everything progresses, he doesn't give himself the time of day to process what's going on and for the next fifteen years, he still doesn't give himself that.
The shock and horror we see here? Yeah he gives the same when he's faced with the horrible reality that he's losing his "friend" (Kurogiri/Oboro) again and watching it happen in real time.
Like I have so many thoughts on this y'all got no idea. This ain't even the half of it-
#amchanrambles#mha#my hero academia#present mic#hizashi yamada#boku no hero academia#it consumes me#this entire thing consumes the shit outta me like he needs some help#my boy needs a hug and therapy AT LEAST.
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Second and last answer (then I am off tumblr again, short visit) : Oh I just read your long answer to the message. Oh my good I seriously had no Idea. I am quite new on tumblr I just got here yesterday because of your fanfic were was mentioned your name and tumblr, I did not know that this is such a intimate safe space I thought it was more of a promoting fanfic and light and fun website with "hey there" and "whats up" kind of site and just reda your last comments. I had absolutely no idea, you seem to have think that I Know this site and the type of intimacy shared and your story- it must have been so horrible to red my message! I am so so so very sorry! Thank you for letting me know. I swear I will not write you again, I hope it brings you some peace of mind that i was just stupid and dumm and not knowing anything about this and will leave tublr ! it is you life and your feelings and i want don't to tell you how to feel and have no right too and now see what a huge mistake it was to treat this as a happy rambling website. I will leave tumblr now, so you can feel a bit safer if i made you feel unsafe. I am sorry I am writing this anonounoumosly still, but I was shocked by your (rightfully strong! You are absolutely right) reaction and feel not safe enough, which I am sure is ironic to you because you were made felt so unsafe by me- it is just how it is. Have a much better day. I have the feeling everything i write would sound stupid or be taken the wrong way (not because of you understanding it wrong, but because of me not being able to express it because i neither have the language not also the insight into the topic not it seems the sensibilty needed) so i will stop now with a final and the only thing that matters and I hope you can take away: I am so sorry you were hurt because of what i said. It will never happen again.
the only reason i'm answering this at all, bc i've been sitting here staring at it kind of speechless for about 15 minutes, is just to make some things clear for anyone ELSE who might be reading my responses and getting the wrong idea from them.
i love when people connect with me here from reading my fics
i promise i am not usually an overly angry or aggressive or scary person. i don't jump down people's throats for simple mistakes or attack people or whatever. i like to think, at least from my own limited internal perspective, obviously having no idea how i come across to other people, that i'm pretty friendly and approachable and kind as a general rule. i like to think, and i hope this is true, that i am not a scary person.
this is not a particularly...... intimate platform any more than any other social media is. i often promote my fic here and have lighthearted jokes and chat about media! i link my tumblr in my fic notes for a reason, and it's not because i need or want everyone to Intimately Understand The Intricacies Of My Life. it's a blog. i also make some personal posts sometimes, about my experiences with abuse and trauma and mental health issues among other things, but that doesn't mean it's like..... some kind of holy ground safe space. this wouldn't be okay to say to anyone anywhere based on the information available to you when you did it. it is just as inappropriate to make assumptions about strangers' lives and then lecture them based on those assumptions, especially regarding something as potentially fraught as family, on a 'happy rambling website' whatever that means.
just to be clear, none of this is a communication issue. it's not about what you've said being taken the wrong way. i give people the benefit of the doubt as best i can. i extend whatever grace i can because communication is always going to be imperfect especially via text. the problem is not one with wording or with expressing yourself. the problem is that you decided to shame me, a complete stranger, for how i spoke about my parent, when you had no information about my parent, me, our relationship, or our history. full stop. that was wrong. it was wrong, it was inappropriate, it was invasive, it was presumptuous, and it was cruel. you made that choice. own it and live with it and do better.
#gav gab#gav answers#abuse cw#i dont even know where to begin with this so i simply wont#like yeah it was pretty fucking horrible!#you know what else was pretty horrible?#getting repeated self-centred non-apologies painting me as some kind of big scary bastard who bit you for No Reason#long post
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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probably talked about this before but it is still crazy to me of phi's status as patient zero for radical-6. she is the host the virus first claims. her twin brother created the virus. she knows what it will do, knows what apocalypse will happen, but can't do anything about it. she begs diana to kill her, it's an act of mercy for both herself and the world, but diana cant do it. against her wishes she has to live she's the only character to get it at two separate instances - and she has the capacity to remember both of them. the virus's main symptom is suicidal ideation. a lot of this only happened because she had the idea to use the bomb to escape - delta forcing her to have blood on her hands as a result. there's definitely some degree of guilt involved. or what of the 3 months between ztd and april? the months she spends recovering, only to become a vessel for the next 45 years? this is the phi that ends up back at the end of vlr. the phi who unintentionally caused the very thing she swore to stop
#tw sui talk#cw sui mention#idk how to tag it but like. yeah#my emphasis on her getting rad6 twice is like. rad6 is a horrible horrible virus#it fucks you up pretty badly!! i mean having those thoughts at all is going to mess you up#but like. twice. when there's almost certainly some guilt she feels. based on how she reacts to it all#like i imagine that would. well it would Do Things To You to put it simply. massive understatement but!#zero escape#vlr#virtue's last reward#ztd#zero time dilemma#zero escape phi#phi vlr#phiposting#trevor.txt#ztd spoilers#vlr spoilers
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#as i said i'm only now catching up on what happened at red rocks and honestly i'm just so confused as to#why people are getting hate mail for being at a show???? like unless you were right there at the show you will NOT know what's going on#you can't just ''leave'' a venue because there's security measures ensuring that people don't run and cause a stampede#i get that the team there sucked and should've been much better equipped for an outdoor venue but why the fuck are we blaming the fans????#and then being mad at louis??? yeah i get that his tweet wasn't the best but i'd imagine that he was trying to help out as much as he could#ensuring fans were safe and taken care of. pretty sure he is the one paying all hospital bills and stuff as well#yeah i know he's an artist and he has people doing things for him but also it's louis. he might not have been at ground zero#but i bet he was doing everything he could to help get fans to safety and he had to tweet something amidst all that#just to reassure fans a bit more and he did what he could#besides. i'm sorry but instead of being all ''louis/his team should've done more'' can we all just make sure that the fans#who were actually in that hail storm and who actually got horribly injured and who actually went through such a scary situation#are feeling okay? like why are we arguing about trivial things when what matters the most out of this situation is the fans and their safety#i honestly need people who were not at the venue and people who do not understand how traumatic things can be#to just shut up and log off#anyways to everyone present at red rocks i'm sending you so much love and i'm so sorry something so traumatic happened#i hope everyone is safe and is being treated for their injuries 💌
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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#oof#guys DATV is not even out yet and the rot is creeping back in to the fandom#not only saw some gross Davrin takes already#but apparently we are back on our bullshit making fun of how people choose to design their own fucking characters#'LOL IT TOOK YOU HOURS TO DESIGN A BASIC WHITE GIRL IN THE CC??'#yeah maybe it did take them hours??#you don't fucking know#perhaps you have forgotten how difficult it was to make ANY character in the DAI cc that did not look like a cryptid with plastic hair??#has it been so long that we have forgotten the Horrible Eyebrows??#when I draw Aili i don't think she's super generic#but the cc version of her is bc it was as close as I could get with the tools at hand and no mods#do you KNOW how hard it is trying to make an elf with a round jawline?? do you KNOW?!??#and in a way bg3 is even worse bc while the graphics are very pretty the face options are EXTREMELY limited#and you cannot edit any of the features without mods#“they all just look like barbies!” so what? is this not playing pretend??#find yourself some grass to touch before the fandom comes back in full force and make this a better space for everyone pls and thank
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people responding to that one poll like "being 14 is the worst time in your life" lmao bro i wish that were me and my experience. i swear every year is so much worse than the last. 14 was a joke compared to what i have to endure now.
#although 15-17 were also uniquely bad for me bc of the whole my mom committing child abandonment and just straight up leaving my sister and#me in a home alone as minors and not coming back. and then eventually being sent to live with our abusive dad once the police found out. an#then my mom full on fucking died right after we reconnected. and my sister and i could not escape our dad's abusive home for another ten#years yeehaw. but yeah everything in between has been so fucking horrible. i still can't escape poverty. and then i became permanently#disabled at 31 from a freak accident making me even more poor bc my ability to work is so limited. and my disability has ruined literally#every single facet of my life because everything is just pain now. all of it. i can't even paint without being in severe pain anymore.#so idk 14 sounds pretty good right about now.#anyway!!!! there's only a small fraction of the hardships i've endured and i'm in a very bad mental state rn so i just needed to like#word vomit some of my thoughts and struggles i guess?
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SOMEONE MADE A TIKTOK EDIT WITH YOUR ART!!!!
I was watching a Welcome Home tiktok compilation [cause I don't have tiktok] and I just seen your art and was so surprised-
Here's the tiktok comp it was in! The tiktok with the edit of your art starts at 2:45!
IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHAT THE FUCK
i don't know how to feel beyond Way Too Perceived and also Wheezing
#ASBDCJACKLNDFKSDV WHAT why why why#i thought my scribbles were tiktok/edit-proof.....#im surprised too dude what. huh! what!!! why!#i would have... liked to be asked if my fanart could be used for edits...#i mean the answer is Yeah I Guess. Why Not#but also its nice to be asked! it gives me Mental Preparation for seeing my stuff breaking containment!!!#lemme tell you before going to the timestamp i was NOT expecting it to be laughingstock the fUck-#and its the little 'comic' thing i dont even like all that much smh....#rambles from the bog#half me is like: oh huh! weird#and the other half is: well i need to crawl into a hole and take everything with me. im too Seen#somehow it feels like a stranger walked into my house & took snacks from my fridge and then Left w/o a word#like hey. i wasnt gonna eat that but hey.#gently swatting the person who made the 'tok with a very floppy and oversized sunhat#did they credit??? probably not huh#for the brief horrible window i had tiktok i rarely saw edits crediting the art used#which is. i gotta say. pretty rude!
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saw your post about characters suppressing trauma and stuff (and mentioning Dave specifically) so have some stuff that happened in the fic that relate to that:
- Dave would lie his Ass off if Jack ever asked about Henry potentially hurting him or upsetting him. that or he'd just straight up refuse to answer.
- related to the above point, Dave has a scar from The Wrench Incident. Jack asked about it (and told Dave that he didn't have to answer if he didn't want to), and Dave half lied and said it was from "an accident with a wrench."
- Dave and Jack would "jokingly" flirt with each other quite often. it quite literally took Jack Kissing His Hand and him getting Really Flustered from that for Dave to realize that A) he was Not straight and B) that Jack might also have feelings for him.
for context, Jack had been working there since mid-to-late February and this happened Three Days Before Dee Was Murdered.
- the closest thing even Resembling a panic attack that Dave has had so far has been him getting overwhelmed and having a breakdown in a closet because, in no particular order,
he's assisted with the murders of three children, having killed one Directly
one of those kids was His Crush's Sister, who he REALLY didn't want to help kill
Henry KNEW Jack was dead for two days, and didn't mention it to Dave Once, and when he Did finally bring it up to Dave, it was only really in passing
Dee has made it Abundantly clear that she wants to kill both of them
and finally:
Henry has been Insistent that This Bullshit (killing kids) is something they Need to do, and seems adamant that Dave Wants This, despite how much Dave clearly Does Not want this.
so. Dave’s not having a good time right now in the fic
- dogboyjackkennedy
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT'S MY MISERABLE AND SOPPING WET BABYGIRL YEAHAHGVB OT2 ‼️‼️‼️ Losing SO hard fr.
#luly talks#dsaf#asks#him being clueless on Jack's feelings is so cute tho..........#but like yeah im not as insane ss i was last night but i stand by my word he'd NOT breakdown in front of other ppl#(or at least he'd try not to. i mean hell even in Nothing. he's fighting back tears but he just brushes past his emotions after what by all#means is a pretty horrible experience coming from anyone but especially from someone you trust and love)#and he'd also NOT . realize the severity of things 😔#i do like how when he broke here it was an inability to deal w it all like yeah fucking#too much all at once 😭😭😭😭#dogboyjackkennedy
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Some art of Tori from @misfitmccoward ‘s Naruto fic Plasticity! Because!! It’s such a good fucking fic…! I had to do fanart for it!! honestly after I first read it I was so fucking hype about it that I was almost like “omg.. I have to do an animatic or something for this. it’s SO GOOD” but. My ability to do animatics has kinda flushed down the drain recently ghghg- But! Still!! I had to at least draw some fanart for it…!
#sorry if I got any details wrong! it’s been a few months since I read the fic!#I mean. I originally drew this right after first reading it. but! I only finished them now so. I might have screwed something up ggh-#but yeah! YEAH! OMG! I FUCKING LOVE THIS FIC!?!?!?!?#ITS SO GOOD!?!?#LIKE. ughghghggh. idk. I read it while still pretty deep in my head about awful life stuff#and just. reading Tori. going thru absolute HELL. was like. cathartic?? like my life. is not even a fraction of the shitshow hers is#but! JUST! STILL! like.. the way she responds to stuff… the delayed reactions. the attempts to just roll w the punches.#the fACT ALL OF HER POSSESSIONS ARE LIKE. MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT TO HER.#like that’s! a small detail in the grand scheme of the fic but the fact that sort of thing is commented on at all is like! FUCK.#I GET IT TORI I FUCKING GET IT#AND ITS SO FUN!!! like yeah shit is awful for tori basically ALL THE TIME. but it’s not! a downer to read! its fucking fun as hell to read!#the interactions between all the characters are SO GOOD! and entertaining!! literally EVERYTHING in this fic is a fucking delight!!!#and it’s like! ITS SO GOOD AT GETTING U TO ROOT FOR TORI! like!!!#yea I recognize Tori has slowly crossed all her moral and ethical lines and become. like. pretty fucked up.#but like! seeing that shift. coincide w the slow shift. towards everything in her life becoming NOT completely horrible#it’s just like!!! yes! girl! do what u gotta do! become a monster! get some happiness in ur life!#like it’s like… I love it so much. its such a fucking good fic. it’s sO FUN. I cannot overstate. how fun this fic is.#and Tori’s such an endearing character!! and everyone else is really likeable and well written too!#lIKE. IDK. ITS JUST A GREAT FIC DUDES. ITS GREAT#doodles#plasticity#blood#tori mendoza#also. the song that I was thinking of using for the animatic was gonna be ‘stupid intruders’#cuz I heard it and immediately was just like. OMG. THIS FITS THE VIBES SO WELL. like. it just felt very fitting ghgh#also also! Srry for misspelling ‘obviously’ in the first pic.. spelling is hard ghg-#but!! yeah!! have some art. of Tori! cuz I love her! and I love this fic!!#featuring 2 diff pics of her absolutely covered in blood from the 1st chapter! cuz. that was iconic…#and also I felt I didn’t properly convey the like. drowned rat energy the first time gGHG-#god ok I’m running out of tags now. U SHOULD READ THIS FIC IF U WANT ITS RLLY GOOD. highly recommend! it’s fucking great!
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they can yassify Marlin........
they can yassify Gustafa...........
they can even yassify Murrey......
but will Marvelous get on the level I was on when I was fourteen, in 2006, and yassify Daryl????
#story of seasons#harvest moon#story of seasons a wonderful life#I'm gonna go out on a limb here and estimate that absolutely zero people are going to care about this lmao#but oh BOY every time I watch a video about the remake my old bishounen Daryl sketches are lurking in the back of my mind#and I still don't know what he looks like in the remake lol like DID THEY RUIN HIM TOO#DID THEY MAKE EVEN MY HORRIBLE GREMLIN SCIENTIST MAN PRETTY.........#I really loved that A Wonderful Life was so ugly (complimentary) lol I'm sad the remake is so Pretty#THEY DID CODY SO FUCKING DIRTY#oh yeah also I shipped Daryl and Flora together because even when I was 14 I had Problematic Tastes#still crossing my fingers every time I watch a new trailer for the remake that Daryl will show up and that he'll be an awful little gremlin#like he should be#my art#yeah it's going in the tag lol
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every time i get an ao3 comment on a horror fic along the lines of “jesus fucking christ. this is so vile what the FUCK what the FUCKING FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKED UP” i hug my laptop to my chest and kick my feet and roll around in bed giggling like a schoolgirl who just got a love letter from her crush. omg you got physically nauseous.....? eeee
#THESE SENTIMENTS KEEP ME GOING#'cause i already know i'm funny and good at capturing Big Feelings#and i love comments about how much various funny or silly or earnest stories mean to people#but ooh god i've been repressing a lot of Horror Shit for a long time.#bc it's ugly and gross and makes people feel bad who wants to read THAT#and have only pretty recently started to shed these feelings n been like. nah i'll be honest actually#like i'll tag everything appropriately and i'll accept that engagement will b a lot lower bc no one wants to read That Shit#but i'll be honest.#so it's like. the strangest form of validation to have people be like#yeah actually this is fucking horrible and DOES feel bad and you DID convey that effectively#i'm like. thank u so much!! i wasn't sure i had the skill or the practice to do that!!!!#if youve left one of these comments (or MULTIPLE comments) on my stuff in the past few days pls know i see you and i love you#i'm WAY behind on comment replies on ao3 because of The Problems but im gonna get to 'em. in the meantime. i love u.#autoimmune tag#<-since the feelings mostly. come from this
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