#like yeah a shocking death scene hits a kind of way at first maybe
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Games that encourage loop based gameplay via death are interesting. Ones like Nethack or Sil I feel very little about. I'm mostly there for mechanical purposes. But the ones I find most interesting are those that end up saying something thematically and narratively via the loop. Dark Souls is probably one of the most talked about and well known cases now. Wherein the only real failure state your stubborn undead ass has is to give up. And giving up is "hollowing". It gives a sort of somberness to runs you never finished and serves as ample encouragement to just keep going. Because you can't give up. You can't be lost to madness and memory loss. You need to keep going. Darkest Dungeon is another one that comes up, though not in the form of you, the player, dying but in the form of your hired work dying. Initially you might be attached to them. Worried for them. Over time you grow less attached. Your fondness for individual characters is often less about any genuine care for them and more a care for what they bring you financially. And what they will cost you financially. By the end of my time with the game I was actively resentful of them at times. Oh no you decided to have a panic attack and fucking died boo hoo. Now I have to train and fund a replacement. Fear and Hunger's loop I have been thinking about. Especially with the implications of godhood and delving too deep. The first time I saved the Girl from her cage I did so because I felt genuinely bad for her. I was doing a good thing, a kind thing. Something selfless. She's a cute little girl am I supposed to just leave her there? But the next few times I got the Girl I was more concerned about her mechanical worth to me. At worst she can take hits for me. At best she will be a powerful mage who will save me from death dealing blows. The Girl is being let out less because I am feeling bad for her and more because she is useful to me in my quest to go deeper. And then there's her other forms of worth. I could just want to get an ending that doesn't require her and if I want that or am willing to alter my goal to that I can use her as a form of currency. The Girl isn't just a useful tool in battle but something I can trade for other things I deem more useful to me. But she's still a little girl. She gets happy when I give her the doll and the dagger. The emotional reality of her being a little girl is dulled though because I have knowledge and I need more. Finally there is her worth in the endings. If I want to see those I need the Girl. Not to fight for me or to be traded away, but to transform her and reveal the full extent of the Dungeon's mysteries. And it's horrifying. But are you just not going to do that? After everything you've done to get that far? After all you've heard about becoming a real god? And given the nature of how time works in Ma'habre and the loop that the New Gods are trapped in that feels rather purposeful. I've ended up complacent with throwing myself and other people into a meat grinder just to learn a tad bit more. This also makes me curious about how the sequel handles it given its Majora's Mask inspiration.
#fear and hunger#another thing that stands out is that you grow very dulled to the horrors#like yeah a shocking death scene hits a kind of way at first maybe#but if it happens a few times then it's like whatever#i've got more deep delving to do#i've seen the game deemed just try hard edgy shit#and while there is material in that i think isn't done well#i do think the game is saying something#and it's doing it via the nature of its trial and error gameplay
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All Too Well
Preoutbreak! Joel x F! Reader
Synopsis: You met Joel your junior year of college. You had been so focused on your schooling until that fateful night. You were so young, so naïve. He was only a year older but it felt like he knew it all.
Genre: angst! so so angsty its insane
Warnings: break up, fighting, kissing, Y/N insert, pregnancy, labor and contractions, death, drinking (also underage drinking), drunk people, mentions of virginity and losing it, mentions of sex but no sex scenes, hospitals, doctor talk and mentions of medical complications, funerals
Gif credits to owners!
A/N: So I don't usually like song based fanfics but I had an idea and I ran with it. Tbh after I wrote it, I fell in love with it, hopefully you do too! Also! It is obviously the ten minute Taylor's version!
Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
It was right before your 21st birthday, you had been dragged by your friend Layla to a party at some sorority house. You didn't want to be there, but she insisted.
So now you were standing in the kitchen with a beer you hadn't even sipped and no Layla in sight. Your only company was the people that would stumble in to fill their cups and not utter a word. That was until Joel walked in. He had this air to him, he was calm and collected, and you could tell there was a kindness in his eyes.
He noticed you almost immediately and started a conversation. He told you how his brother dragged him here and you marveled at the sameness of your situations.
You two talked the whole night, neither one of you drinking. It comforted you that he was also sober.
It was almost one in the morning when Layla found you again. She was clearly wasted and you rolled your eyes.
"I should probably take her home." You told Joel.
Grabbing Layla to help her walk, you made your way out of the kitchen. Before you could leave he lightly grabbed your arm.
"Wait, can I get your number? I wanted to know if maybe we could get some coffee sometime?" You stared at him with shock. You had enjoyed the conversation but you didn't know he felt that way.
"Uh, yeah sure." You quickly grabbed a pen and random receipt from your bag. Jotting your number on it, you handed it to Joel with a smile.
He returned the smile and helped you and your friend to the car. You watched him in your rearview as you drove off, smiling to yourself.
'Cause there we are again on that little town street
You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there
A few months and a few dates later, you and Joel had become official. You had never felt more like yourself. It was crazy to say a man had done that to you but you couldn't deny the facts. Even your school work had improved!
Your favorite nights were the nights you and Joel would just drive around. The two of you would drive around the town, every time you hit a red light he would look over at you with those soft eyes of his.
You did a lot of driving and he did a lot of staring. You would drive around and just talk about anything and everything. It was so simple, yet so perfect.
You taught me 'bout your past thinkin' your future was me
He told you everything about himself on those drives. How he grew up, his life with his family, even about his petty little fights with Tommy when they were younger.
It made you happy that he trusted you with every part of him. So, you told him all about you in return. You wanted all of him and gave all you back.
And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now
He's gonna say it's love
You never called it what it was
You don't know when it happened but one day you woke and realized you were in love with Joel.
You wanted to scream out into the universe how much you loved this man. But it never felt like the right time.
A part of you wanted him to say it first. But no matter how many times he stared at you with those eyes, he never did.
'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there
You were taking a nap at Joel's house one day when you were awoken to the sound of music downstairs. It was an old song you didn't recognize. Following the sound through the house, you found Joel gliding around the linoleum of the kitchen. You let out a laugh which stopped him in his tracks.
He met your eyes with that look, the look that made you melt. The look you knew all too well. He offered his hand to you. Gladly, you took it. You two danced for the rest of the song.
He pulled you close as it faded away, ghosting a kiss on your lips. That was the night he took your virginity. There was no good reason you had waited, you just had. But it felt right to lose it to him. He felt right.
And there we are again when nobody had to know
You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath
Sacred prayer and we'd swear
It became the norm, you two would drive around and talk and end up at his place between the sheets. It never made you feel dirty, it made you feel loved.
But it was the lack of actual dates or him being uninterested in hanging out with your friends that made you start to pull away.
It wasn't until one night when Tommy stopped by unannounced to Joel's and he didn't even know who you were. You drove home crying that night.
Joel found you the next day with flowers in his hands, apologizing over and over again. He made an excuse of not wanting Tommy to know about his private life and how he hadn't found the right time.
He swore he told Tommy everything that night and how he would get the three of you together soon. You took him at his word and you two ended up in the sheets once again.
Except this time it felt different.
Well, maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Runnin' scared, I was there
You decided you weren't going to just be compliant anymore. You were human and you needed, no you deserved more!
You brought it up one night and it became a huge fight. Screaming and crying, you two broke up.
You hadn't seen or talked to him for two months until those blue lines showed up on the pregnancy test.
And you called me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of bein' honest
You called him after crying all night. He needed to know that you were pregnant with his child.
Joel almost let it go to voicemail, but he finally answered. But when he did, he wouldn't even let you speak. He just muttered an, "I'm busy." and hung up.
You cried all night for the second night in a row.
But then he watched me watch the front door all night
Willin' you to come
And he said: It's supposed to be fun turning 21
A week later and it was your 21st birthday. You decided to spend it with your parents since you knew if you spent it was Layla she would force you to drink. With your newly found condition, that was not possible.
All day and night you stayed in your room, not even wanting to eat. All you wanted to do was tell Joel. You hadn't even told your parents yet.
You wanted to keep the baby but you couldn't do it alone. At least you didn't want to do it alone.
It wasn't until your dad came to your room to try and coax you out, that you finally broke down and told them everything.
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again
But I'm still tryin' to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
A few more months went by and you were starting to show. You hadn't tried to make anymore attempts to contact Joel in a while. You decided to focus on yourself and the life you were growing inside of you. Whom, you found out at your last scan, was a girl.
You were out on night with Layla when you saw Tommy out on a date with some girl. Neither him nor Joel would've found out if it weren't for that night.
He saw you instantly and made his way over. He casually stroke up conversation, it felt more like a formality than anything.
You nervously swiped your hand across the table, knocking your fork to the floor. All eyes fell upon it.
"Oh, don't worry I'll get it." Tommy said as he knelt down.
As his hands gripped your fallen fork, his gaze began to move upward to your eyes but stopped at your swollen stomach. You cursed yourself for wearing something so tight tonight.
You gulped, letting his name fall past your lips. He stood back up and tried to wipe the shock from his face.
"Is that? Is Joel the..." His question trailed off, but you nodded still, knowing what he was asking.
"Y/N, why haven't you told him? He's been besides himself since the breakup."
You shook your head, "I tried, he just hung up on me."
Tommy put his hand on your shoulder.
"You need to tell him. He'll be happy, I promise."
You sighed and nodded your head solemnly. You knew you had to tell him, it was just so hard.
You went home that night and pulled out the flannel he had left at your place. You slept in it that night, his smell lulling you to sleep. Tomorrow was the day you would finally tell him.
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there
The next afternoon you knocked on Joel's door. It was cold out, so you had bundled up a little more. Yet, there was still no hiding it.
His look of shock at your appearance was nothing compared to the look he made when saw your pregnant form.
He started to say something but you cut him off.
"Joel, just listen. I wanted to tell you, I tried but you kept hanging up on me and eventually I just kind of gave up. I never wanted to hide it from you. I never wanted to raise the baby without you but you had given me no choice. I saw Tommy last night and he said things that made me realize I needed to try again. So here I am."
There was a long silence between the two of you.
"Thank you." he finally uttered out.
"For?" You looked up at him, trying to read his face. All you were met with were those eyes you had grown to love.
"Everything. Showing me how to love. Giving me the greatest gift I could ever receive...for coming back." He reached out and touched your stomach. His hands moved slowly to your hips, pulling you towards him.
Leaning his forehead against yours, he finally said those three words you had waited so long to hear.
"I love you."
That's when you felt a raindrop fall on the top of your head. Both of your eyes met the sky to face the falling rain.
"It's raining." You said breathlessly.
"I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not." Joel said with a chuckle.
"I don't think it is, but I'm sure we can change that. I love you too."
He smiled and kissed you.
And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?
Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?
'Cause in this city's barren cold
I still remember the first fall of snow
And how it glistened as it fell
You were now nine months along. You had moved in with Joel and even set up a nursery for your baby girl. Joel surprised you by painting her room purple, your favorite color. He had become that guy you had fallen in love with again and you couldn't be happier.
It was an even colder night when you woke up with a start. A shooting pain going through your spine. Shaking Joel awake, telling him you were sure you had just had a contraction.
He rushed around the house in a flurry, your eyes just following him around. He would've been making you dizzy if it weren't for the crippling moments of pain you kept feeling.
You yelled his name as another contraction hit.
"Joel, we have to go." He finally looked at you, doubled over in pain. He rushed over and tried to rub your back.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry darlin', I was so busy trying to get everything ready that I forgot how much pain you were in."
"It's fine, we just should go now before I have the baby in our living room. You can bring stuff to the hospital later."
"You're right. Let me help you to the car, baby."
Hours later and you were still having contractions but you were not getting any more dilated than before. The doctor came in to tell you they needed to do a C-section.
"A C-section? What do you mean? She can't give birth naturally?" Joel asked, confused. He seemed a little concerned as well.
"Well the baby just isn't moving along as much as we would like. So for both the baby and the mother's benefit we should do the Caesarean."
"it's fine, Joel, It's just a few cuts. We will be back to you in no time. Both of us." Joel looked at you and then back to the doctor for conformation, who nodded.
"Fine, but take care of her." Joel gave in, slumping down into his chair.
"Of course sir."
They took you away to surgery. Too long ago now for Joel's taste. Time was moving too slowly and Joel was losing it. Tommy had shown up about 30 minutes ago. He had been trying to calm Joel's worry this whole time.
The doctor finally came their way.
"Y/N Y/LN's family?"
Tommy and Joel nodded.
"The baby is perfectly healthy, congratulations you have a little girl. But, unfortunately, Miss Y/L/N began to hemorrhage as I was trying to sew her up. She lost a lot of blood and we were unable to find the source of the bleeding in time. She flatlined on the table and we were unable to revive her. I'm so sorry."
Joel just blinked at the doctor, it took him a minute to process the news. Then it hit him and he sunk down to his knees in the waiting room.
Tears began to fall from his eyes as the rain began to fall outside.
Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there
Down the stairs, I was there, I was there
Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there
It was rare, I was there, I was there
Joel didn't want to attend the funeral but Tommy made him, he said something about how the baby should be there.
He had named her Sarah. One night when you two were laying on the couch, watching a movie you had mentioned how much you liked the name. Joel made a mental note of it.
The three of them arrived at the funeral, Joel couldn't bring himself to talk to your parents. After their last interaction, there was no point. They had all but blamed Joel for your death. He even made Tommy bring Sarah over to them, knowing he couldn't do it himself. But they deserved to cuddle and love their granddaughter, after all it was the last part of you they had left.
As he watched the casket lower into the ground he remembered everything about you. The way you smiled, the way you laughed, the way you unconditionally loved him even after what he did to you.
Joel looked down to the baby in his arms. She looked so much like you. He promised himself he would protect her at all costs. He would protect her the way he couldn't protect you.
#joel miller#the last of us#fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fluff#joel miller angst#joel miller fluff#joel miller x reader#fanfic#last of us#joel miller story#joel miller fanfic#the last of us joel#last of us joel#joel the last of us#taylor swift song fic#all too well
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MAJOR chain of thorns spoilers !!!
[[ negative thoughts under the readmore about a particularly topic ]]
i also cannot help but feel as though chain of gold did a better job at handling christopher's potential death when he was poisoned than chain of thorns did with christopher's actual death
like, yeah christopher died right when everyone didn't have time to afford to like properly mourn or grieve and they had to take action but like. still.
and i think part of it, for me at least, is that while we get bits of like, thomas grieving it's from an outside perspective and never iirc in his own point of view??? like, there's when he first finds out of course, and then you get i think cordelia remarking in her pov that thomas lost both his sister and basically brother in a year, and that he was the last of the merry thieves currently and he must be feeling so lonely etc but from what i recall we never get thomas' feelings and thoughts regarding these things when we're in his pov???? and yeah there are 'more important things' to focus on re: the watchers and stuff but it makes christopher's death feel empty and as a result unnecessary. it feels like the same story beats could have been accomplished by christopher being severely poisoned and like comatosed, while the adults are all unaccessible in Idris which worsen his odds or something. he's still taken out of commission and the stakes are still heightened.
maybe i would have taken his death better if he was immediately still or something after he's hit instead of i think lucie hearing him say afterwards,that he was fine, because iirc the actual moment he was hit came off as like significant and i thought he died but then it was like 'oh his shoulder's just hurt! he's just injured! dw we'll just be out of the way bc of his injury' and then it's like 'oh actually he's dead now'. i think that 'false hope' just made his sudden death feel kind of cheap to me, for lack of a better word, and contributed to his death feeling unnecessary. maybe his death would have felt at least a little bit 'better' to me if it wasn't for that, bc otherwise it came off less of a 'this is war and people die' situation and more of a 'he is dead simply for shock value' situation. like i get, in-universe, christopher saying he’s fine when he’s not but the way it played out, as a reader, was unsatisfying to me.
like, the doylist reason for his death is that one of the merry thieves had to die for ""realism"" sake but like. it shouldnt come off as that obviously being the reason when you're reading, you know? and at the very least it should be given the weight and respect it deserves ?? as it is it feels like christopher was killed off for shock value and bc 'well one of them has to die and christopher is the easiest one to get rid of' and everyone's like 'oh no! well we can't dwell on that rn' and then they just never dwell on it, and it just makes his death feel empty and unnecessary and it has me feeling sour ngl
and maybe im an unrealistic idealist who feels like none of the main kids had to die! but if they did i’d imagine their death having more weight and presence in the story after it’s happened !
like, i feel if it was matthew who died, there'd've been more dedicated to it. granted, he's james' parabatai . but still. i feel like if even thomas had died, there still would've been more.
thomas and christopher had such a close bond that we got to see in the other two books and the lack of thomas' feelings from his own perspective just feels wrong. i dont care if theyre shadowhunters and needed to focus on battle and the bigger picture. and i know that thomas especially tries to cope with grief by action. and maybe it's supposed to signify everyone's maturity in this book with their reactions vs back in chain of gold. but it still comes off as significantly unsatisfying. imo.
outside of the scene where thomas finds christopher is dead, and outside the brief moments of anna coming off as reckless/wanting to fight the watchers in anger bc of kit, a lot of the christopher grief came off sort of like ‘telling not showing’ if that makes sense???
not to mention that i like personally really dislike when a character survives something where death was like a legit real possibility to then just die later on, especially when it comes off as just killing someone for shock value and/or to signify that ““things are serious now””. you can claim that their surviving is 'false security' and spin it as subversion or whatever but. i just dont like it. i never like it, whether it's in book series or tv shows, except i guess cases where it's just done well and makes sense and is thematically satisfying. so like, christopher dying after being poisoned and in danger of dying back in chain of gold and surviving also has me feel dissatisfied. especially because his death came off as “well someone had to die” and the aftermath of it was so neglected and it just felt so unnecessary and im just really sour about it.
a lot of this is ramble-y and all over the place and i dont even know if i got out all that i wanted to in regards to my feelings and thoughts about the topic but. yeah.
#chain of thorns spoilers#chain of thorns#cot spoilers#chot spoilers#christopher lightwood#tlh spoilers#the last hours spoilers#tsc spoilers#the last hours#tlh#cot#chot#the shadowhunter chronicles#the shadowhunter chronicles spoilers#;negative post#ab: analyzes#;sort of#//negative#/negative
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I've been thinking about Fran Bow recently. This... is mainly just a collection of random thoughts and theories. Might add more stuff later if I remember other things. Spoilers ahead, naturally.
So... one question obviously is how much of it is real, and how much is just Fran's imagination,which is of course a question that is basically impossible to answer, and I think I'm going to ignore it, at least for now.
I'm honestly more curious about whether or not Fran killed her parents. It has been hinted at so many times. I think already in the first chapter there was bloody text on the wall, saying something like "it was not me," and when she saw the dead nurse in the cafeteria, she also exclaimed that she didn't kill her. All these denials make it sound like she does have something on her conscience.
Remor does claim she killed her parents. But... the thing is, can we really trust Remor? He wants to make Fran feel as bad as possible, of course he would claim that. Although... talking about Remor. That name... almost sounds like Remorse. Fran's remorse after killing her parents? Remor tells her that she is the manifestation of his desires, but maybe it's the other way round. Maybe Remor is the manifestation of Fran's remorse and guilty feelings.
Now, if Fran did kill her parents... how did she do it? She's just a little girl, could she really slice them up like that? In that flashback we simply see her stabbing her father repeatedly. Then again, she did slice through that poor beetlepig without any trouble... Even so, you would imagine two grownups could fight off a little girl, but... let's imagine she attacks first her father. Even if she's behaving strangely, most likely he doesn't believe she'd actually attack him. She hits him, her mother screams (she did hear a scream from her), and then she attacks her mother... who's too shocked to fight back. Who knows? And here's another question - were the parents really killed as brutally as they were in what is possibly Fran's imagination?
Of course, there is the possibility that if Remor is real, he could have possessed Fran and given her super strength. Or then Fran found her parents dead, snapped and started stabbing the dead bodies...
...I honestly wonder how good her relationship with her parents really was. There was that text in the asylum... "Daddy wasn't there, Mommy would not care." And most of the stuff on the walls were hints... so yeah. I wonder. It does seem like Fran honestly misses her parents, but it is perfectly possible that she loved them dearly and still had this deeply buried anger inside of her, if they were negligent. I'm of course not saying parents aren't allowed to go out and have fun, but there was that scene where they went out and left her with Aunt Grace. So yeah. Maybe that happened often. Who knows?
Also... in the beginning, Fran said that "everything is fine, it feels like heaven." This same line was later said by the other Fran in Ithersta, the one sitting on the throne who killed the cat. And I wonder... "everything is fine." isn't this like a line that people keep on telling themselves exactly when everything is not fine?
In any case, honestly... Fran is not alright. She's no qualms whatsoever to kill the beetlepig, and just wrench out that poor skull's teeth. And her reactions to the awful things she sees is simply much too normal, most of the time. She's clearly not okay. The question is, was she okay before her parents' death?
There's so much about split personality and the two sides of the brain and all that tho in the game. Maybe Fran has some kind of a case of split personality? And the freaky side we see at times is her other side? (Of course it could have been just intrusive thoughts.)
But there's one more thing I wonder about... what made Fran so special? (Unless... all that was in her mind, and it was just her thinking she's somehow special?) In any case, Oswald was interested in twins. Why would she care about Fran? Is just being the daughter of a twin enough?
Here's one wild theory... what if Fran was a twin too? Maybe that other Fran she kept on seeing was her dead twin sister? This is very random, but there was that child you could see in the basement of the asylum, who said something like "I've been denied the path to life"... Maybe they're experimenting on the connection between a living and a dead twin... (Yes, I know, I'm pretty much in the realm of fanfiction here XD)
Annnnnnd here's one theory @solarsavoy just made after finishing the game, and I love it. The little Fran in the beginning of chapter 5... what if that is the real one? Who has imagined all of this... She knows about all the people, including even Leon, has a drawing of Fran flaying on Palontras... Hmm. I just realized she doesn't know about Mr. Midnight which kinda complicates things. But even so, I like this theory: the little Fran is the real one. She's crazy, and has a very vivid imagination. Who knows if she killed (or at least tried to) her parents in reality too? Cause Daddy wasn't there, Mommy would not care...
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— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE FIVE || CURSE WOMB MUST DIE II
↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru + ryomen sukuna + zenin maki + inumaki toge + panda from jujutsu kaisen
↳ warnings : swearing + violence + mention of blood + mention of organ + mention of death + EXTREME grammar issues
↳ form : story
↳ published : 24 february
↳ pronouns : she/her
↳ word count : 4.8k
↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....
↳ previous episode : curse womb must die I
↳ next episode : after rain
↳ barista’s notes : back again with another episode of jujutsu kaisen everyone ╲ʕ·ᴥ· ╲ʔ and we have ended the detention centre arc and now will be moving on to the training arc! isn’t that crazy, you have finished episode five ʕ ᵒ ᴥ ᵒʔ i’m not really good with fight scenes, so if you care confused, don’t hesitant to ask me anything to clarify! WE ALSO FINALLY MEET THE SECOND-YEARS!
BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:
1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only
2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter
2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique
Destructive Curse Spell number four: Byakurai : 3:35-3:40
Sentan Hakuja : Wiki Page
‘Cursed Energy Web Technique’ : video (4:23-5:27)
3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing
“If you can, please send a grade one sorcerer or higher but that won’t be necessary if I don't die,” you sternly commented, leading both Fushiguro and Ijichi to shiver at the statement you just announced.
Still shaken at what you had just said, Ijichi sent himself off before closing the window to prevent any cold raindrops from coming at him as he drove away from the area you and Fushiguro were standing in right now.
“If you don’t want to listen to me, I ain’t going to listen to you at all then Fushiguro,” you stated with a frown painted on your face before looking back at the building behind his body.
Taking your katana, you looked at the bottom of the handle to find a metal loop at the bottom with a red charm tied before it was simply slowly unwinded by you as you prepared for the worst that was about to come.
“What are you doing L/N?” Fushiguro asked in a worried tone, causing you to turn to look at him with a deadpan expression.
“Just preparing for the worst Fushiguro”
ꕥ
The rain was still unsettled as you stared at the building of the detention centre that was in front of you with a nonchalant look present on your face. Carefully, you hook your katana on the side of your left hip rather than the usual spot of your back since you knew you were going to need extremely quick access to your weapon if your prediction of what was going to happen was going to become a reality.
Suddenly, there was a swift but noticeable change in the air causing you to grab Fushiguro’s sleeve to pull him closer to you in case of any attacks that would happen since he was standing behind you, out of your central view.
“The Innate Domain’s closed off, the special-grade is dead!” Fushiguro stated to you in a shocked but quiet tone, causing the grip you had on his sleeve to tighten since the feeling in the pit of your stomach was becoming agonising to the point where you wanted to vomit it out.
Yet, you weren’t fearful for yourself but rather the wellbeing of the shikigami user behind you and the classmate, who was still inside the building at this current moment in time.
“We just need Itadori to return safely now,” Fushiguro hopefully whispered, yet you had given no response since you knew that the chance of the mentioned classmate coming back with himself out rather than Sukuna was extremely low.
“That’s almost impossible, from what I can recall, him and Sukuna haven’t even agreed to a bi-” you began to explain, only for a sudden aggressive presence to stop you in your tracks to which Fushiguro also felt as you both froze on the stop you both were standing in right now.
“Sorry, but he’s not coming back”
A familiar voice from behind you spoke leading to both of you and Fushiguro to freeze on the stop before you came to the sense that what you had predicted was proven right. However, you didn’t foresee that he was coming straight to the both of you, even when he had threatened it clearly before Fushiguro dragged you away to search for Kugisaki.
“Don’t be so frightened, I’m in a good mood right now, let’s chat for a bit,” Sukuna calmly mentioned as he processed to make his appearance in front of you both since you refused to look in the opposite direction.
“This is what he gets for trying to use me without any kind of pact, feels like he’s having some trouble switching back,” Sukuna pronounced as he turned to the side.
‘To be honest, it was surprising for him to switch back after eating the finger without the pact’ you thought before letting out of Fushiguro’s sleeve once you was comfortable that he was out of harm's way, ‘besides that should be enough cursed energy for now,’ you internally spoke before taking a quick glance on the same area where you hand was as you processed to place the same hand on the handle of your katana.
“Still, though it’s only a matter of time,” Sukuna stated, as he gripped onto Itadori’s school jacket before unexpectantly ripping into shreds to showcase his muscular upper body, revealing the strange back marking he adorned on his chest.
“So, I thought about what I can do right now,” the King of Curses uttered before raising his hand to suddenly puncture a hole within the middle of his check, shocking both you and Fushiguro from his gruesome action as hints of blood started to pour from the corner of his lips.
‘Shit! I haven’t finished preparing,’ you pondered in a panic manner, as your hand was still on your weapon’s handle, transferring some of your cursed energy to your katana, making sure it had reached to the tip of the blade within the wooden casing for what you were planning to execute.
“Wh-what are you..” Fushiguro stuttered as he looked at the scene in complete horror, only for a massive pool of blood to pour in the middle between Sukuna’s legs before forcibly ripping out the most vital organ needed for Itadori to come back alive.
“I’m taking this brat hostage,” Sukuna declared, as he proudly and sadistically presented the heart he had taken out to you and Fushiguro, causing you to internally become repulsed at the scene since you still needed to concentrate shifting a tiny amount of cursed energy needed to your katana.
“Hostage?!” Fushiguro snarled as he shifted back slightly.
“Yeah, I can live without this, but that ain’t true for the brat,” Sukuna informed you and Fushiguro, as he then tossed the heart to the side like it was a piece of trash he needed to get rid of quickly.
“Switching out with me means he dies. Also, for good measure,” Sukuna mentioned before revealing a finger in his hand causing you to look at the cursed object he had just now swallowed with widened eyes.
‘I thought it wasn’t his finger that the special-grade curse consumed! Fuck!’
“With that, I'm free as a bird, you can be frightened now, I’ll kill you both for no particular reason,” Sukuna declared as he flexed his hand leading you to rapidly unleash your blade from its black wooden casing for the first time since the unfortunate day as you were now prepared to fight against the King of Curses.
“Our positions are reversed now,” Fushiguro muttered under his breath (to which you heard) before he determinedly looked at the curse right in front of him as he positioned himself in a fighting stance causing a wave of anxiety to consume you.
‘One of his divine dogs are already down, if he risks another shikigami, that possibly will also get destroyed in the process’
“You just don’t get it, he’s..Itadori’s coming back even if that means he’ll die, that’s just who he is,” Fushiguro determinedly stated while staring down at Sukuna.
“You give him too much credit, this guy’s just a little tougher and denser than other humans” Sukuna countered back with a smirk on his face before processing to wipe off the blood staining his lip with the back of his hand.
“Just a moment ago, he was scared out of his mind, on the verge of death and prattling on about his regrets and all that nonsense, I know for a fact he doesn’t have the guts to kill himself,” Sukuna taunted as he smiles smugly at both of you.
‘A special-grade has the ability to used Reserve Cursed Techniques, so it wouldn’t be hard for him to use it on his heart, I just need to slide down somewhere around his chest area to force him to do that’
Shifting your eyes to the side, you noticed Fushiguro’s hands were shaking leading you to internally sigh since you knew he was thinking the same idea as you, while probably debating the fact on how he could make Sukuna revive his heart before Itadori switches back as well as how he was going to battle against a special-grade.
“Should I make the first move then?” you rhetorically asked, before swiftly throwing your katana towards Sukuna like it was a spear, only for him to dough the weapon even at its immense speed.
“You think that was going to hit me?! Maybe you ain’t the fighting type as I suggested!” Sukuna roared in amusement, not noticing how you seemingly suddenly grabbed onto thin air (like you were holding onto a hanging support handle on a bus) before pulling your arm back in a fast motion, resulting in the attacking blade unexpectedly return back to you as quick as it was thrown, for it to then slash a massive slit on Sukuna’s cheek causing the curse to look at you in complete surprised before you swiftly moved forwards towards him, grabbing the handle of the travelling blade to attempt to slash down on your targeted area, only for Sukuna to dodge as quickly as he could.
‘Damn, but that should be fine for now’
However, before you could even attempt to get another chance of getting a slit around his check area, you heard incoming footsteps from your side leading you to deck down as you suddenly saw a leg swing above your head, indicating to you that Fushiguro had made a move to attack the cursed vessel, yet once again Sukuna managed to dodge against as well as the incoming punches that came along with Fushiguro’s attempts.
“Interesting, not only the girl managed to injure me but you use shikigami, but you’ll still come at me yourself?” Sukuna questioned, as he seemed amused at both of you and Fushiguro.
However, before he could mention another word there was a light pressure placed on his right shoulder causing him to turn back, only to find you in a lower stance with your index and middle finger to be pressed upon his shoulder blade.
“Destructive Curse Spell number four: Byakurai,” you chanted, before a high-density of cursed energy was discharged from the tip of your index finger to form a concentrated bolt of lighting leading it to pierce a noticeable hole on Sukuna’s shoulder surprising him as well as Fushiguro, since you angled it well away from him getting hit before you once again attempted to swing your katana down upon his back to execute your plan only for him to dodge it come again.
‘Fuck sake! You make it so easy to hit you the first time but when I want to slice you down, you suddenly dodge it!’
However, before you could use another cursed spell, a shikigami made its way to attack Sukuna leading you to discover it was Nue only for Sukuna to once again avoid the strike of its sharp talons before Fushiguro aims to get a hit at Sukuna, only for the King of Curses to block them with his arms. Yet you couldn’t help but internally smile the second you saw the wrist that you were holding onto earlier had made contact with Sukuan’s arms.
‘If plan A doesn’t work out, B will do just fine for now’
However, your hint of internal happiness quickly ended once you saw Fushiguro take a hit from Sukuna’s fist causing hints of blood to escape from his mouth leading you to quickly stand up straight as you rushed over to the scene. Yet, before you could even attempt to attack the curse again, you felt a presence underneath you causing your body to instinctively move again before a large snake appeared from the ground catching Sukuna within its mouth lifting him in the air as he was stunned with surprise at the fact of his sneak attack.
“Gang up on him!” Fushiguro yelled out to his shikigami, leading Nue’s wings to surround itself with purple lightning as it attempted to land a hit on Sukuna, only for him to duck at the right moment before it tried again, only for it to have the same result.
“Fushiguro, deactivate the snake now before it’s destroyed!” you screamed at your fighting partner. However, before he even got the message you suddenly saw fragments of what seemed to be the snake’s skin falling down in front of you before noticing Sukuna was already behind Fushiguro, tightly gripping onto the back of his dark blue sorcerer jacket.
“Hey, what did I just say? Let’s use the open space!” Sukuna shouted, before aggressively flinging Fushiguro up in the air before following the sorcerer himself, leaving you behind to witness his inhuman strength.
‘Shit, they’re going to get to the edge of the evacuation area!’
Reaching into the depths of your skirt pocket, you quickly pulled out a long, white cloth before letting it spin around you at a large radius as it slowly began to enclose the gaps that were making you visible to the world.
‘Sentan Hakuja,’ you internally chanted before the cloth coiled you complete before speedily teleporting you in front to what seemed to be like a construction site or an abandoning building, you weren’t quite sure. However, what you were sure of was that Fushiguro and Sukuna hadn’t noticed that you had arrived despite the vast entrance you had made from your cursed technique - but what you were most afraid of was the fact the Nue was gone, causing you to worry at the fact that now that shikigami was destroyed.
“What a waste of talent, but the girl back at that place, she knows how to use her technique extremely well,” Sukuna announced, causing Fushiguro to look at the King of Curses in both confusion as well as frustration at the fact he had mentioned you, worried if he was about to get killed, Sukuna would hunt you down next.
“Whatever, either way, that won’t be enough to fix this, you’re risking your life over stupid shit,” Sukuna stated as he pointed the hole on his chest. However, it seemed like you had enough of the conversation.
“Activate!” you yelled out before stabbing your katana to the ground, causing both males to turn around to finally notice you. However, it was too late for Sukuna to have the opportunity to counter what you were doing as he felt something restraining his arm’s movement before noticing what seemed to be a blue web-like strand attached to both his shoulders, yet when he turned to you, you seemed to be in the same situation but with one arm free.
“L/N!” Fushiguro yelled out in a panic before noticing that you were not at all afraid but rather calm despite the situation that you both were in now.
“What is this?” Sukuna questioned, as he observed the web-like structure you had created only for you to glance at him with a deadpan expression on your face.
“It’s just a simple web I created from pure cursed energy that is retaining the both of us right now,” you answered as you continued to peer at the confused King of Curses, who was trying to rip away from the strand-like he had with the shikigami snake, only to no avail as he struggled to move his whole upper body in general.
“How come? You didn’t touch me except for the cursed technique you used?!” Sukuna roared as he glared at you only for you to then let out a sigh of frustration.
‘It’s such a drag to explain…’
“I transferred some of my cursed energy to Fushiguro’s wrist as well as to my katana, so when they made contact with you, it allowed me to connect the strands of the web to those areas where you had been hit, also the protective spell I placed on the back of Itadori’s neck before we went in the detention centre was surprisingly still intact, allowing me to track you and the chain at the end of my katana to restain you further,” you thoroughly explained, before clicking your fingers causing the sudden but slow reveal of the long black chain (attached at the end of your handle - on the metal loop where the red charm was) that you had concealed with your cursed energy to appear surrounding you and Sukuna at a large radius while the extra length was tightly wrapped around his upper body.
“That was how I pulled my katana back at the beginning of the fight if that’s what you were also wondering,” you commented, leading Sukuna to look at you with a larger smirk than what you thought his reaction would have been.
“You possess such intellect, such skill, such power and such talent and yet you refuse to go against me with your full potential, are you mocking me?” Sukuna asked, before laughing causing you to look at him suspiciously, yet you couldn’t let that bother you at all, right now all you needed was for Itadori to switch back even if he was going to die.
“Even though I technically didn’t save you, Fushiguro did but I would like to give my answer I guess,” you commented before running your hands through your wet hair trying to push away the strands that were concealing your vision slightly.
“I should have exorcised you back then, in fact it’s my duty as part of the L/N Clan to, but I know you’re a good person at heart Itadori, I knew that since the day I saw you back at school and probably Fushiguro saw that as well when he decided to save you,” you explained with a smile, as you began to notice the markings gradually disappear from his face and body causing you to slowly deactivate the cursed energy web that was immobilising you and Itadori while the chain that was coiled around him slowly began to loosen its grip on him.
“It was for selfish and emotional reasons but that’s fine though,” Fushiguro stated as his posture relaxed once he noticed that you were slowly lowering your guard, “I’m not a hero, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer, so I’ve never once regretted saving you,” he then announced with a smile on his face.
Suddenly, itadori looked at you with a smile on his face before turning to look at Fushiguro, who was behind him. “I see, you really are smart, Fushiguro, Gojo, you’ve put more thought into this than I have,” Itadori mentioned with a smile, as he pushed his hair back, “I think your conviction’s a proper one, but I don’t think mine is wrong, either,”.
Suddenly, more blood started to drip down from his wound causing you to move forwards to make sure that Itadori didn’t fall down completely. “Oh, sorry, I’m almost done for, guess I won’t have to worry you guys, Kugisaki, or Gojo-sensei, live a long life,” Itadori faintly stated to you both before falling straight into your arms causing you to fall to your knees due to his heavyweight causing your skirt and high-knee socks to become soaked in the rain that already bathed your hair and face.
The rain only grew heavily as seconds went by, only reflecting on the disappointment and devastation that was coming from both you and Fushiguro, as you both stayed silent letting the rain consume you both for the time being.
Maybe after the rain, he might come back.
‘Please come back’
ꕥ
“So you had your suspicions?” you questioned your adopted father, as you leaned against the railing of the balcony, while he stood next to you leaning against the same railing.
“There was a special grade there, sending the first-years to rescue five who may or may not be alive is out of order, even if you are capable of exorcising it Y/N,” Gojo explained causing you to realise where this was going.
“So what you are saying is, since you indefinitely suspended Itadori’s execution, that got some higher-ups upset, leading us to go do that mission, in order for Itadori to be killed?” you suggested, leading Gojo to turn silent at your comment, leading you to get the answer you were expecting even if no words were exchanged.
“You’re strong though Y/N, you effortlessly fought like Sukuna was just a normal curse,” Gojo complimented you, only for you to give him no response since it was not a good time for you to be praised.
You failed at saving Itadori.
“As a special grade like your father, I need you to look out for Megumi and Nobara for a while, train them to the best of your abilities since we got an event coming up!” Gojo cheered, leading you to present him with a glare.
‘What a drag...I really can’t be bothered to be in an event’
“I’m going to check on the others Gojo-sensei, I’ll see you later,” you stated before standing on the feet as you than processed to walk away with your hand up, as a way to wave him ‘goodbye’.
“Call me dad for once Y/N~” Gojo shouted, leading you to groan in annoyance before making your way to the entrance, where you knew Fushiguro and Kugisaki were since Gojo did take you away from them when he found you sitting with them on the stone steps near the entrance of the school.
After some time, you finally managed to reach your destination as you found yourself standing at the top of the extra steps above your classmates, before noticing a few new faces further below, leading you to become perplexed since you weren’t expecting any other sorcerers to come by today - well...that’s what Gojo said.
“Don’t tell me the other student died as well?” the female sorcerer question, leading you to look in her direction in confusion since she seemed a little familiar to you for some reason.
‘Ah, she was the person I saw when I moved into the dorm, but she didn’t really see me’
“I’m right here,” you commented, leading to everyone that was in your view to look up at your direction to find you standing with your arms crossed before you steadily made your way down the steps as you processed to stand a step above between Fushiguro and Kugisaki, who were still seated on the same spot they were in when you had left them for a few minutes.
“You don’t even have a scratch on you,” the female sorcerer commented, as she noticed you didn’t have any patches or bandages like the other two first-years had once you observed you.
“She’s a strong sorcerer,” Fushiguro commented, leading you to kick his back before commenting that he was a strong sorcerer as well.
“Ah! Are you the special grade, Gojo was mentioning about?” the large Panda asked, causing you to give him a glance before answering, “I don’t believe I’m a special-grade sorcerer but if that what my drag ass of an adoptive dad ranked me, then I guess I am,”.
“Who are you guys?” you then asked since it seemed like they had already done their introductions for Kugisaki. Although, it seemed like your female classmate was in the same sort of confusion as you since she noted to you that she had no idea who the fellow sorcerers were.
“Our second-year upperclassmen,” Fushiguro nonchalantly answered before he continued by introducing them to you and Kugisaki.
“Zenin-senpai is the best of all the students at wielding cursed tools, that’s the Cursed Speech user, Inumaki-senpai, he can only speak in ingredients of onigiri and that’s panda senpai,” Fushiguro introduced everyone causing some questions to manifest in your head.
‘Zenin ha?..she doesn’t seem like the one that my mum was talking about, so I don’t have to suspect her but is there anything else to add for Panda-senpai?’
“There’s one more, Okkotsu-senpai, who is the only one I can openly respect, but he’s overseas right now,” Fushiguro added, before slowly standing on his two feet.
“You’re not adding more about the panda named Panda?” Kugisaki asked as she looked up at the shikigami user to gain some information, only to be ignored.
“Man, sorry about this and when you’re in mourning...please forgive us for that,” Panda apologised before placing his hands together as a sign to be forgiven, even though that sign reminded you about something else.
‘Ah...that’s the same hand gesture for one of my cursed spells’
“The truth is, we’d like you to participate in the Kyoto Sister School Exchange Event,” Panda explained, causing you to recall about an ‘event’ Gojo had mentioned to you.
“Oh, that’s what he meant,” you whispered before Kugisaki interrupted you by repeating the event’s name in confusion.
“What’s that?” Kugisaki asked as she turned to Fushiguro looking for the answer.
“It’s a get-together with the other Tech school in Kyoto, though isn’t that event mainly second and third-years?” the erratic-haired sorcerer answered your classmate before questioning the invitation since all of you were first-years.
“And those stupid third-years are suspended right now, so you need to participate,” Zenin explained, causing you to look to the side with an annoyed expression on your face since you realised that this meant you had to cover up your tracks more than you were bothered to do.
“What do you do at this event? Smash Bros? I won’t lose if it’s the Wii version, I’ll Meteor Smash so you can’t come back” Kugisaki randomly mentioned with a determined look on her face as she formed a fist, causing you to look in her direction with a confused face since you didn’t know how she came to that conclusion in the first place.
“Then let’s make a 3-man team, the exchange event has the principals of the Tokyo and Kyoto schools each propose a form of competition to be held for an entire day over the course of two days, though that’s how it is on paper,” Panda informed you and Kugasaki, who were oblivious to what this event was in general.
“Every year, the first day is a team battle, and the second day is individual battles,” Panda explained, leading Inumaki to agree with him by saying ‘salmon’ as his confirmation to his classmates' explanation.
“Individual and team battles? We fight?! Against other jujutsu sorcerers?!” Kugisaki shouted after realising what the event really entailed, causing you to look at her before lightly smacking the back of her head.
“You just realised that?” you asked in a dumbfounded tone.
“Yeah, it’s a jujutsu battle where anything but killing goes,” Zenin confirmed with a huge grin causing you internal sigh at the fact that you had to hide the use of your cursed technique since that would blow your cover entirely.
“We’ll train you up well so you won’t get killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Panda declared before he started to throw some air punched after every ‘yeah’ he said.
“Wait, do you have time for that? I thought we were short on jujutsu sorcerers,” Kugisaki asked since she concluded that there were only six of you right now.
“That’s a good question, For now, we are. The glim emotions people harbour from late winter through spring cause an outburst of curses in the early summer, so that’s our busy season,” Panda explained as Zenin then explained that some sorcerers are busy all year long, but since things are settling down soon, it should be fine.
“So, you’ll do it, right? You just had a partner die on you, after all,” Zenin asked, as she was waiting for all your responses.
“We’re in!” Fushiguro and Kugisaki simultaneously answered with determined looks on their faces before turning back to look at you, waiting for your answer.
Letting out a sigh of frustration, you knew that you had no way out of this since they looked so motivated for you to join, even if you disagreed with them.
“This is such a drag, but fine, I’ll join in too,” you replied with a small smile on your face leading them to nod at you before turning back to your seniors.
“But if I decided this training and exchange event is pointless, I’m quitting instantly,” Kugisaki mentioned.
“Same here,” Fushiguro commented, causing you to kick both of them on the back much to their surprise.
“So you drags make me do this event, only for you to dip when it’s pointless for you, besides I heard there are some interesting sorcerers in the Kyoto side, so prepare yourselves,” you stated before stepping down the few steps you were in front of before standing between them.
“Well, people this cocky are all more worthwhile to train,” Panda mentioned with his arms folded with a determined look on his face.
“Bonito flakes,” Inumaki said in a softer tone.
Looking up to the sky, you couldn’t help but brisk in the sunlight that was shining lightly down upon you, leading you to raise your hand over your face in order to not be blinded.
‘I wonder how I’m going to hide from this one now?’
© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jjk imagines#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#gojo satoru#ryomen sukuna#zenin maki#inumaki to/ge#jujutsu kaisen panda#itadori yuji x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#kugisaki nobara x reader#gojo satoru x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#zenin maki x reader#inumaki to/ge x reader#itadori yuji imagines#fushiguro megumi imagines#kugisaki nobara imagines#gojo satoru imagines#ryomen sukuna imagines#zenin maki imagines#inumaki to/ge imagines
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Birds of a Feather
Chapter 2
Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader
Warnings: Violence, swearing, descriptions of sexual acts
Word count: 5.9K
Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.
A/N: big ol’ oof i’m back again with more BoaF shenanigans. i’m having way too much fun with this, and i know i said chapters would be released every two weeks but i actually got way too excited not to post these sooner. haven’t had any issues with accidentally deleting this post yet, but i wouldn’t put it above myself. anyway, here’s chapter two of “Birds of a Feather”
𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔
You hated surprises. In all shapes and forms. You liked to be in control of the situation, able to predict every move your victims would make. The job was going smoothly, all the steps falling into place. Infiltrating the nearest MP warehouse was easy enough. Stealing medicine, ointments and food was child’s play. You wondered how any of them became members of the MP in the first place, considering how incompetent they were. Only a few throats had to be slit on the way, one of your knives now dripping in their blood. Running it through the crease of your elbow, the crimson came off on your leather suit. Various straps and holsters held knives and blades of all sorts, some were more intricately designed than others.
Crouched low behind a large, wooden crate, you remove one of the smaller daggers from your boot, now clutching it in your left hand. They seemed to have upped their security, judging by the increase of soldiers walking around the place, each with their own rifle on their backs. Shit, they were really getting fed up with you. A small, satisfied smirk sliced across your shrouded face. Even with upped security, this was easy as piss.
That was until a commotion above you had you stopping in your tracks. A strange zipping sound followed by what you could only assume was the releasing of gas filled the air, followed by shouts, some familiar, most unfamiliar. Shit, how the fuck did they know you were here?
It wasn’t long before you were scampering onto crates of weaponry, back up to the broken window in which you’d entered. Swinging up from a beam, you landed deftly on the windowsill, peering out. Dread pooled in your gut at the scene.
These soldiers had skills you’d never seen. Swooping and swivelling with expert precision, it would have been mesmerising if not for the fact that they were chasing your Shadows. Your family.
“Shit… PHANTOM AND RENDEZVOUS,” you shouted, your voice carrying across the rooftops. It was a simple command. Disappear and meet up back at the hideout. But, in doing so, you’d given away your position, and it wasn’t long before you too were racing across the rooftops.
Taking out a set of throwing knives from your waist, you leapt from the tiles onto a balcony, spinning behind you and throwing two of the steel blades at those who were in your pursuit. Both knives hit home, sending two of the three soldiers spiralling into the streets below. Dead.
But one was still on your tail, dodging the two falling bodies effortlessly. Using your momentum, you crashed through the wooden window, rolling as you landed before continuing to flee.
Shit, this really wasn’t good. But one question still circled your mind. How the fuck did they know you were there? How could you possibly have been compromised? The job was airtight. Nobody outside your trusted group knew the positions you would be in and when.
The thought had thrown off your rhythm. Not concentrating on where your feet were falling, you’d missed the staircase right in front of you, only noticing when your foot met air instead of solid ground. Throwing your hands up to somewhat protect you, you were thankful for the corner as you slammed into the wall, your front jolting in protest. Shaking your head in an attempt to free yourself from the disorientation, you swiftly stood and wasted no time skipping the rest of the stairs, shouting a quick “Sorry!” to the couple who yelped in surprise as you vaulted over their kitchen table and burst through their door, back out into the streets. You had a few seconds reprieve before the hissing of gas met your ears, and once again took off running.
The street was irritatingly busy, you having to pick your way through the crowds whilst the zipping and hissing of ODM gear threatened to swoop down from above.
“Fuck fuck fuck.” You muttered, now shoving people aside. This was not ideal. Though the crowded street gave you some cover, it had slowed your momentum significantly.
Scanning around as you sprinted, you saw the perfect opportunity to broaden the gap between you and your pursuer. It was risky as shit, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
With a burst of speed fuelled purely by adrenaline, you raced towards the broken wagon. It acted almost as a ramp up to a swinging tavern sign. ‘The Broken Casket’. You’d never been and honestly had no interest in going, but you silently thanked whoever decided to place the sign at the perfect angle for you to use as a stepping stone. The wagon creaked as you sped up the planks of wood with cat-like agility. Using your arms for momentum, your foot connected with the swinging sign as you leapt across the street. However, in your planning, you’d failed to notice the sound of ODM gear had ceased behind you. It only occurred to you after another body slammed into yours mid jump, a low grunt interrupting your thought process as the two of you crashed into the dirt.
Surprised shouts and exclamations of the crowd brought you back to your senses as you expertly kicked the soldier from your body, rolling to avoid any sort of attack coming your way. This was bad. This was really bad. Drawing two more blades from your leather suit, you flipped them in your hands, ready to face off against your attacker, who had already begun his onslaught with his own steel.
The singing of metal rang in your ears, sparks flying with every collision.
Raising your arm beside your head, you blocked a heavy kick to your face, hissing ever so slightly at the contact. Shit, this guy was good. Ducking beneath a swipe, you took advantage of the fact you were wearing a masked helmet, bringing your head up viciously. You watched as he dodged backwards, his footwork borderline perfect before sweeping for your leg. Barely having enough time to register the attack, you leapt and twisted, bringing your own leg against the side of his head. He mimicked your block, your foot connecting with his forearm instead of his skull. You’d traded blows with hundreds of people before, each fight ending in just a few seconds. You knew you were good. Really good, in fact. But the man currently shrouded by a green cape was just as good. Dare you admit, maybe better than you.
No, you wouldn’t admit that, not when you had just landed a solid hit to his stomach with the hilt of your knife, not the end you’d wanted to land but at this point you were thankful for any successful blows. Rolling deftly to the right, you lunged once again whilst you thought he was still reeling from the impact.
He wasn’t.
He had lulled you into a false sense of security and let you believe the blow had impacted him more than it actually had. A knee cracked against your jaw, throwing you to the side. Sliding against the ground, you slammed into a wall, slumping as you recovered. Your hand came up to cradle the side of your face, wincing as you gently took hold of your chin, before jerking your jaw back into place. You couldn’t deny it. That hurt. A lot.
“You done?” raising your head from the dirt, you glare into the void beneath the hood, a voice you’d sworn you’d heard before, but you pushed down the confusion of familiarity. Slowly placing your blades back into their scabbards, you raised your hands as you stood, taking a step forward away from the wall behind you.
“Shit… Yeah. I’m done.” You admitted lowly, now standing before him, arms still raised in submission. That was until he came closer. You tried not to give away your plan as he cautiously walked towards you, keeping your eyes trained on the ground until you could see the tips of his boots in your vision. You couldn’t help the feral grin that sliced across your face.
Before he had time to question it, your foot connected with the underside of his chin.
It was a move Prongs had taught you a very long time ago. If ever you were in trouble, this was your best bet of escape.
The world turned upside down as you flipped backwards, watching in satisfaction as the man staggered backward. Now it was his turn to cradle his jaw.
“Never let your guard down, Scout.” You spat, before bolting away. That was close. Too close. You just hoped the rest of your Shadows had made it back.
꧁⎈꧂
What. The FUCK. Just happened? He had never seen someone with those kinds of skills before. It would have been impressive if it wasn’t a life or death situation. Levi stood there in the middle of the street, slouched ever so slightly, eyes wide with shock.
What the fuck just happened?
His hand still cradled his chin painfully. How the fuck was he just bested? He wasn’t even thinking clearly throughout that entire chase. All that was running through his head was how the fuck this guy was able to pull of moves like that. He’d seen some daring examples of parkour in his time but leaping over an entire street? Swinging from overhead bridges? The leader of The Nest was on a whole other level. He thought back to their entire ordeal. He must have been taught by someone. There was no way he couldn’t have been.
For some reason, that voice played in his head on repeat. A teasing carousel. He wouldn’t dare assume, but it sparked something in his mind. Something he wouldn’t dwell on now, but if they managed to catch this Raven, then maybe he could figure out just where the hell he’d heard that voice. Sure it was a little muffled and distorted by the mask, but it still bothered him.
Straightening himself, he pulled the hood of his cloak lower against his face. He told Erwin this was ridiculous. He told him this was a fruitless expedition. He was getting a little sick of people not listening to him for various reasons. He suspected it was because of his background.
Levi had done half of the job he was tasked with. Keeping the leader away from the rest of the group for as long as he could. Whilst he wasn’t able to detain him, this should be enough to please the Commander. As if remembering where he was, his skin began to crawl. The filth all around him almost felt suffocating.
“Shit…” he muttered, running his hand through his dark locks, sweat making them stick to his forehead. Looking back to where he’d watched the criminal race away, he pulled the triggers on his ODM gear, the gears shooting into the brick and wood of the upper streets before engaging his gas to meet up with Erwin and Hange. If everything went to plan, they would have the leader of The Nest already detained by the time he got there.
Levi couldn’t deny this operation had been a shitshow. They had severely underestimated the skill of these Shadows. Comrades falling left and right in their pursuit.
It was strange, being back. Dragging up memories he’d tried so hard to bury. His past suddenly creeping back up behind him. Gritting his teeth, he decided to concentrate on where he was going rather on the tendrils of discomfort seeping into his mind. He would face those demons later, when he wasn’t surrounded by death and filth.
Now he thought about it, facing the underground city and facing titans were similar in many ways. Both were terrifying thoughts to most. Both seemed to be caked in dirt and grime. And both seemed to result in the inevitable high death toll. It was frustrating to no end, but it wasn’t a surprise. Everything seemed to result in death. The only constant in this cruel world. It followed him like a curse.
His thoughts twisted back to you. Wondering if you were down here, somewhere. You were always so mysterious. Even when the two of you were together you’d disappear for days on end, only leaving a cryptic message behind. You’d never told him where you went, and he’d never pried. The wind in his ears took the form of your bubbling laughter, images of you clutching your abdomen after he’d told some sorry excuse of a joke.
Shit, he needed to get out of here. The longer he stayed, the further his thoughts strayed back to you.
꧁⎈꧂
You had never run so fast in your life. Wanting to meet up with your Shadows as soon as possible, hoping they would all be there safe. It was a fool’s hope, you knew that, but it was the only hope you had left, unable to shake the unease. Had you all been compromised, or just you and your Shadows? Was the location of The Nest safe? Was Scarlett safe?
You had come to the conclusion you must have been betrayed. There was no other explanation. It seemed impossible, one of your trusted betraying you all to the MPs, but how else would they have known you would have been at the warehouse? How else would they have known to call in the Scouts? They knew MPs alone couldn’t take on you and your Shadows, so they asked for help from a more skilled regiment. That was the only conclusion you could come to as you arrived at the rendezvous point.
Only to be greeted by an eerie silence. Not a soul to be seen.
This was wrong. Everything about this felt wrong. They should be here by now. Unless…
Unless they were at the backup site...
“NOW!”
A woman’s voice had your head jerking up to see you were surrounded. You watched the Scout pull some sort of trigger and as you did, time itself seemed to slow down. A faint click to your left alerted you to whatever trap they may have set. Leaping into a forward roll, you felt a rush of air behind your head as you dodged. Your heart pumping faster than ever as you look behind you, seeing the weighted net that had missed you by less than an inch.
Returning your gaze to the rooftops, you watched as several soldiers zipped onto the ground around you. The hidden square you’d chosen as your first meetup point now riddled with green capes, rifles and blades pointed in your direction.
You were trapped.
“What the fuck do you want?” your voice sounded a lot more confident than you felt. Coming out as a threatening demand rather than a timid question. (E/C) eyes widened behind your mask as a tall, blonde haired man pulled down the hood of his dark green cape. You knew that face, you’d seen it in the papers. The Commander of the Scouts had come to pay you a visit.
How thoughtful.
“The question still stands, Erwin Smith. What the fuck do you want?” you stood a little taller, though he still towered over you. Subtly, your hand went to one of your blades on your belt. If he got close enough, you could sink it into his throat. Throwing the Scouts around you into disarray was probably the only way to escape this, though those chances seemed incredibly slim.
Erwin raised a thick eyebrow to you.
“I’m surprised you’re familiar with my name, considering your… living conditions,” though he seemed to choose his words carefully, they still fanned the flames of hatred in your gut. His perceptive eyes glanced towards your hand nearing a wicked dagger on your belt. “I’d strongly advise you against that,” he warned, his voice low as he nodded his head to something behind you. Swiftly, you turned, and immediately regretted everything. Horror and guilt pierced your heart as you beheld Una as she was dragged forwards, a blade positioned near her throat. “Her life is in your hands, Raven. Co-operate, and we’ll let her go. Fail to do so…” the blade pressed into her throat a little, a small trickle of crimson staining the pale flesh of her neck.
“R-Raven, I'm so sorry,” she rasped, finding difficulty in speaking with the steel against her jugular.
“Shh, shh Una, don’t speak. You’re okay, yeah? You’re fine, you’re going to get out of this, okay? You’ll be alright,” you tried to reassure her as much as you could, but you knew she was scared. You could tell by the way her hands shook by her sides, her eyes squeezed shut. Fuck, this had not gone to plan.
Turning back to Erwin, your voice lowered to a snarl.
“Alright. What do you want? I won’t ask again,” the arrival of another soldier briefly held your attention, faintly acknowledging him as the one you fought earlier. Your jaw tensed as he landed next to the Commander, his face still shrouded in shadow by his hood. You felt a sick satisfaction in knowing that the inevitable bruise blossoming under his chin was from your fight earlier. But he didn’t seem bothered by it.
Annoyingly.
“I’m sure you’ve guessed what we want by now, but I’ll tell you anyway. We want to take you with us, back to the surface, where you will atone for your crimes. In return, we will release this girl and allow the rest of your gang to go free,” it was an incredibly good deal for you, the only issue being…
You die.
The image of your wife danced behind your eyes as you closed them. She was right. You’d been captured.
But a strange calm settled over you. Maybe you could see him again. You’d finally be reunited and free of this world’s filth.
“Alright,” there was almost no hesitation to your answer. Something that caused Una to cry out.
“NO! Raven you can’t! They’ll kill you! Get the hell out of here, I'm not this important!” she attempted to bargain with you, only resulting in that blade pressed closer to her throat.
“DON’T!” you shouted, your voice now breaking ever so slightly. “Please… let her go.” slowly, your hands came up to your masked helmet. Removing it, you allowed the reveal to settle over the soldiers around you.
The leader of The Nest was a woman.
The shock was always something you revelled in. Of course, under normal circumstances, a venomous smile would crawl across your face.
But not this time.
Levi had completely frozen. Eyes wide, mouth parted in shock. His heart was a sick amalgamation of sheer joy and utter terror. Though your face had changed slightly with age, he’d recognise those eyes anywhere. They were harsher than before. Colder. No longer the eyes of a softer, young girl, but those of a savage, hardened killer. But it was you. You were here, in front of him. You were alive.
And he’d knee'd you in the face.
“RAVEN DON’T.” Una knew it was already too late. Your face had been revealed. There was no turning back now. Tossing your helmet to the side, you turned back to face the trio now in front of you. The woman who had pulled the trigger on whatever trap they’d set was now staring at you almost in awe. Erwin’s expression too seemed surprised, but it was the expression of the shorter man next to him that caught your attention. He seemed frozen solid, unmoving. You tried to catch a glimpse of his face beneath his hood, but that only provoked him to shadow it further.
“Let her go. Let them all go,” your voice had dropped significantly, though your eyes still held that steely determination. Staring up at Erwin, you watched as he nodded his head for Una to be released. Raising your hands to show you had nothing up your sleeves, you slowly walked over to her form sprawled out on the floor, head refusing to rise and look at you.
“Raven… I—“
“It’s alright, Una. It’s alright,” you cooed, gently lifting her chin to look at you, her hood still hanging low across her face, her features stayed hidden throughout everything. “This wasn’t your fault. None of this, was your fault, okay? We were betrayed, and I'm pretty sure that wasn’t you,” you chuckled gently, trying to lessen the tension.
Still, you could see the slivers of silver lining her eyes in the low light, tears of guilt welling up. “Hey, listen to me. You’re going to be okay. You’re all going to be okay. We prepared for this, didn’t we? We knew this might happen someday,” your voice was soft as you spoke to her, as if you were simply trying to comfort a child after a nightmare.
Helping her to her feet, you reached for your mask, lifting it from the floor and placing it in her hands. Her breath hitched in her throat as her eyes widened.
Una knew the significance of this.
“Give it to Prongs. Tell him I’m sorry it wasn’t quite the ceremony we would have wanted. Tell him to look after them for me. Look after her, for me,” taking a step back, you fisted your hands to stop yourself from tearing up, eyes trained on the ground. “I’m so sorry,” you whisper, before raising your head. “Now go. Get the fuck out of here.” your commanding tone returned, giving your last order as the leader of The Nest.
Levi’s heart clenched at the exchange unfolding before him. Though your appearance may have changed, you were still as soft as ever. He’d tilted his head down at your gaze, fearful of your reaction when you’d figure out who he was. How this would look. Him, in all his ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’ glory, and you, the Underground’s most dangerous criminal. He wouldn’t be able to stand the flash of betrayal he knew he’d see in those familiar eyes.
Unable to stop your heart shattering as Una turned and ran, you took a breath. Raising your hands once again, you allowed soldiers to pull each arm out by your side as they began searching your body for weapons. You always made a habit of bringing a ridiculous amount of knives and blades with you on every job. And this was no different.
“That was honourable of you, Raven,” Erwin was the first to speak, though the title now made you scoff. You wouldn’t tell them your name, not yet anyway.
One of the soldiers patting you down was forced to gesture to a friend, her own hands now full of your various weaponry. And that was only your belt. You flicked your eyes to the three in front of you. The woman looked like she was going to burst any second.
“THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! Sorry, I couldn’t contain myself any longer. The way you dodged that trap was unlike anything I’ve ever seen! It was AMAZING! Who taught you to do that? The name’s Hange, by the way. Hange Zoë, science and titan enthusiast. I’d shake your hand but you seem to be a little tied up at the moment!”
The sudden explosion of excitement caught you off guard, your expression turning to one of sheer incredulous confusion, before realising you’d probably have to listen to her babbling throughout your entire journey back.
“I didn’t know you were going to torture me. Just kill me now,” you huffed sarcastically, expression darkening as soldiers roughly pulled your arms behind your back, clasping them in manacles after making sure all weapons were removed from your legs, your expression unchanging.
But that didn’t seem to deter the scientist. If anything, she found your attitude amusing.
“Wow! Levi, she’s just like you! Is everyone from the Underground so unapproachable?” she asked cheerily as the two soldiers holding your arms began to steer you away. But you refused to move. Levi too seemed stuck to the spot.
Everything went still, and it was as if nothing else existed but the two of you.
Ever so slowly, Levi pulled down his hood, revealing those dark bangs you remembered so clearly. Silvery blue eyes met (E/C) ones. It wasn’t quite the reunion either of you were expecting, but you were both here. Alive
“Levi…” you whispered after refinding your voice, torn between wanting to run to him and running away from him. Fear clung to your heart, knowing how much he would hate you for what you’d become.
Levi schooled his expression back to neutrality as Hange looked between the two of you.
“Do you two… know each other?!?!” Hange’s beam of excitement caused him to cringe internally. Looking you up and down, the raven haired man raised a thin eyebrow in what looked like disgust.
“Tch, no.”
Well, that wasn’t what you were expecting. You blinked in surprise, eyes narrowing to your previous lover, trying to mask your hurt. Maybe he didn’t remember you? But with the look of recognition in his stormy eyes, you swiftly ruled out that possibility. What you’d feared all these years had finally come to fruition. You’d found him again.
And he despised you.
Levi turned on his heel, stalking away from you as the two MPs tugged on your arm, finally prompting you to move. He didn’t think his heart could shatter much more. After losing his mother, his family, his home.
You.
He didn’t think he had the ability to break any further. But life clearly thrilled in proving him wrong.
꧁⎈꧂
The walk back to the surface was agonising. Both of you stealing glances at one another at every opportunity. His, masked with indifferent contempt, your’s overflowing with betrayal and rage.
How could he stand there and say the two of you didn’t know each other? As if you hadn’t been in a relationship for years. As if he didn’t know every little thing about you. As if you hadn’t shared his bed, moaning in ecstasy as he pried you thighs open, burying his tongue, his fingers or his length between your aching folds. As if you hadn’t heard every whimper and groan he could make, coercing them from his throat as you swirl your tongue around the head of his cock. As if you hadn’t been the one to finally hear those three words you never thought he could say. As if they weren’t directed at you.
Great, now you were angry and aroused.
Dragging your eyes away from him, you focussed on the long street ahead of you, now failing to notice the way his expression shifted slightly as he looked in your direction.
As you walked, more and more civilians stepped out of their homes to watch, many of them nodding their heads in respect, or removing their hats in mourning. You return their gestures, refusing to let your head bow as you dip your chin in recognition.
Levi could do nothing but observe the strange reactions from the swiftly gathering crowds. Some of them even shout to you.
“We owe you, Raven!”
“Give those fuckers hell!”
“Don’t let them take you lying down!”
You chuckled in response, both a sound and expression he’d missed so dearly. It made those long dead butterflies flutter once again in his stomach.
Even more so when a little kid approached you.
“Miss Raven… Why are there soldiers everywhere?”
Your eyes softened to the grubby little girl, crouching down where you stood, much to your escort’s dismay.
“They’re here to make sure little squirts like you listen to your mommy and daddy and go to bed on time,” the kid squealed in delight in your words. You lamented your hands not being free, the temptation to tickle the little tyke almost overwhelming, making your wrists squirm in their restraints.
“Hey, get the fuck out of here, stupid kid,” the soldier to your left delivered a harsh kick to the child’s side, sending her sprawling to the floor and out of your way. You don’t think anything could have brought you more rage. Not even your ex’s indifference to your existence.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” standing swiftly to your feet, you glowered dangerously into the MPs surprised eyes, now struggling in his grip as the kid started to cry. “She’s just a kid, you foul mouthed, pig eyed, vile piece of shit,” if it wasn’t for your circumstances and situation, Levi would have laughed at your insults. Clearly you’d broadened your vocabulary since the last time he’d seen you.
It was only when you’d managed to deliver a harsh, bone cracking kick to the soldier’s kneecap did Levi decide he should probably intervene, as much as he’d originally intended to stay away from you.
Something he subconsciously didn’t want to do.
“Oi, move along. I’ll deal with her, fucking degenerates,” his sharp voice cut through the commotion, causing the soldiers to stop in their tracks and whirl around.
“Captain Levi, sir! We were just—”
“I don’t care. Go.” he ordered. If they were Scouts, they wouldn’t have dared to hesitate, but since they weren’t a part of his regiment, it took them a moment for the order to register in their small minds, before they scurried away.
As soon as your arms were free of their grip, you immediately rushed to the little girl’s side, cooing gentle reassurance.
“Hey, come on now, you gotta be brave, yeah? You can’t cry every time a pig like that gets the better of you. Hell, then I’d never stop crying,” your little joke stopped the kid’s sobbing. Clearly your reputation extended even to the children of the Underground. “Where’re your parents, kid? Where’s your mom?” you asked, ignoring the obvious gaze burning a hole in the back of your head.
The little girl sniffled, pointing back to the head of a worried looking young woman, searching frantically for her little girl. A soft smile graced your lips, before you gently gestured for the girl to run along back to her mother, that smile growing as you watched her scamper off and giggle slightly as she was reprimanded in a giant bear hug.
“You haven’t changed, have you?” Levi’s cold voice brought you back to reality, prompting you to rise back up to your feet.
“Thought you didn’t know me,” there was none of that friendly familiarity he’d seen in your eyes earlier. There was only cold, ruthless ice. He shivered despite himself.
Softening his own gaze as you turned your head to him, he could recognise that spark of hatred. He’d seen it so many times when you faced down some sort of oaf who’d decided you were easy pickings back when the two of you were teenagers. He suddenly felt a pang of pity for all those who had suffered under this glare.
It was indeed terrifying.
“(Y/N)—”
“Don’t fucking call me that. You don’t get to call me that,” you didn’t try to tame the loathing fury in your tone. You didn’t pretend you didn’t revel in that confused look in his eye. Good, let him be confused. Though you didn’t know why. He should know well enough why you were furious.
“Okay…” —Levi took a breath— “Okay. Raven, then. That’s your alias, isn’t it. Raven?” He didn’t know why he was asking you such an obvious question, but he couldn’t help it. He had a craving just to hear your voice. The same voice that had haunted him for years, the same voice that had awoken him from the few hours he would be able to sleep.
Still, where his tone had lowered, yours refused to. How dare he show up after all these years and then claim he didn’t even know you.
“Obviously,” you spat, pure venom lacing your tone.
“So this is where you went. This is what you did. You were a part of The Nest this entire time and you didn’t think to tell me?” it was his turn to spit, clearly whatever had caused his gaze to soften previously had been replaced by something you couldn’t quite place. You weren’t as good at reading him as you used to be. His face had changed with time, and he’d clearly learned to school his expression much better than he used to.
“So what if it was? You don’t know me, remember?” you couldn’t help but use his words against him, wanting to drive home how much it had fucking hurt. Your eyes flickered to the now blackened bruise on the underside of his stupidly chiseled jaw. Something ugly twisted in your gut, whether it was satisfaction or guilt, you couldn’t decipher.
As if in retaliation, his own eyes glanced at the almost matching mark on your chin, the same mixture of emotions flashing briefly in his eyes before he took hold of your arm. It wasn’t as rough as you would have expected, but if anything, that simply annoyed you more.
“Tch, just move already,” the two of you had started to draw more attention to your conversation than either of you would have liked. So reluctantly, you placed on foot in front of the other and started walking again, returning back to acknowledging and recognising the respect those gathered were giving you. You remembered everyone you’d helped. Bringing them food, water, medical supplies.
“RAVEN!!” A loud shout of your alias had your head whirling to the right, searching for the owner of the voice. “RAVEN?!?” a small, older woman pushed her way through the people, almost falling to your feet. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she looked up at you.
You recognised her as one of your regulars. Her son had fallen ill months ago, and needed a medicine the MPs refused to hand out if not for a hefty sum of money. You’d offered your services to her after seeing her begging in the street, the sight hauntingly familiar to you. “I… I wanted to thank you. For everything you’ve done for me. For my son. He— I fear he wouldn’t be alive today without your help,” the woman hiccuped through her gratitude, drying her eyes with a worn, stained handkerchief. Your expression shifted to one of gentle indifference. You wouldn’t make the same mistake of outwardly showing your caring side like you did with the little girl.
“Make sure he stays rested,” was all you said, before continuing on without the prompting of Levi behind you, who now stood still in mild shock. Watching as many placed a hand on your shoulder as you walked, your head still held high.
“I don’t know what you men plan on doing with her, but she’s only ever helped us. She’s a good person,” the older woman’s eyes only spoke the truth as she looked to Levi, who only glanced back at you in response, watching as you climbed the stairs.
“I know. She always was.”
You stopped and turned back before you left for good, eyes lingering down the crowded street, a thousand faces peering up at you. Hats in hands, hands folded over one another in mourning. You recognized that with your leaving, a lot of people will go hungry. Many will die of diseases or viruses without the medicine you could steal and distribute. You knew Prongs was good, but he didn’t quite command that same kind of respect you did.
With a final nod of your head towards the crowd’s respect, you turned and left the Underground, leaving your past along with it.
#levi aot#levi attack on titan#captain levi#snk levi#levi x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi x you#levi ackerman x reader#aot x y/n#aot x reader#aot x you#snk fanfiction#snk#levi smut#levi ackerman smut
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Here's the notes for everything that would happen up until the end of the story.... as far as I had it figured out. You'll notice things are a lot less fleshed out the later things go. That's a big reason why this never got finished. the longer I tried to keep the thing running, the more I realized I never had any idea what I wanted to actually DO with this story which made it pretty hard for me to keep up. it's hard to write a story you're trying to take seriously if all you really have are jokes, it turns out.
I haven't reread any of this or edited it at all so who knows what kind of notes I might have written in between things haha
P: so as i was saying about undyne-
C: who’s undyne?
Everyone freezes. Chara just walked right up to papyrus without being noticed. Paps freaks out for a sec before he pulls sans into a huddle. Chara frowns and tries to peek around.
~Montage of papyrus’s excitement and harder puzzles, death montage
~Junior jumble: its sudoku now
Chara’s doing puzzles and sees flowey spying. They shout him over
C: HEY! still following me, loser? Don’t you have anything better to do? (but they smile)
F: somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t get killed too much out here
Flowey pops up closer to them
C: nah, I’m fine! I’ve got that reset power!
F: not for long considering how much you use it (mumbles. Rolls eyes??) (some depiction of chara dying a lot in the bg)
C: by the way…. In the ruins you were telling me to use it… care to tell me more about it since you seem to know so much?
F: I-... uh… well you already know the most of it. It just resets you back to your last SAVE point like nothing happened. Only beings with a powerful SOUL can use it, so monsters with their weak souls can’t.
Chara stops their puzzle work and sits to even the heights: Can flowers?
F: what the heck are you-... oh, no no no. I’m different.
C: so you have the power too.
F: No! I mean-, i used to before you came around. Yeah.
C: so you’ve done resets. (urging him on)
F: yep.
Chara waits a while: ...thats all you have to say?
F: yep
Travel scenes from here on out depict chara and flowey together
Gauntlet:
Flowey remarks that he doesn't remember a save point being before it. Chara goes along and gets paps’ bit. He does to activate it
C: wait this isn't for real right? U can't be srs!!!
P: yeah I am, this is hard mode!
Just show chara repeatedly spawning at the save and running back in with flowey watching them
Then cut to the end chara on the other side of it panting and exhausted, papyrus shocked but also beaming
P: wow you did it!! I'm so proud of u human! I didn’t think you would actually be able to get through it--- I mean- drat! Foiled again! I'll get u one of these times!
Papyrus runs off and Chara watches him with a look of wonder in their eyes.
F: don’t get too excited. his pride is cheap, he’s proud of everyone and every thing
Chara grumbles and marches forward: whatever. I don’t hear you saying you’re proud of me, so why do I have to listen to what you have to say
F: You know, you’re gonna have to fight him soon. Didn’t sans say so? What are you going to do then, die over and over until you give up or are you going to try to murder him just like you did with Toriel? :)
C: I am not! I’m gonna talk him out of it and go right past him like everyone else. Who knows! Maybe he won’t even fight me because he’s that cool. Even if he does, he’s probably a wimp anyways.
F: I wouldn’t be so sure! I bet you don’t stand a chance.
C: shut up! Quit following me if you’re gonna be this useless.
Paps fight
As papyrus carries their body to the shed to rest. Opens on their vision returning and they see their hands hanging toward the ground.
C: why didn’t you kill me? You’re stronger than everyone else, you could easily do it. Why dont you finish me off so everyone can leave or whatever it is you need me to do? Why did you hold back?
P: OH! YOU’RE AWAKE!
C: you held back…
P: OF COURSE i DID! I COULD NEVER KILL YOU, YOU’RE MY-- I HOPE I’M NOT BEING TOO FORWARD, BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS MY FRIEND! AND EVEN THOUGH WE DO NEED YOUR SOUL, YOU DESERVE A FIGHTING CHANCE TO DO… WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE TRYING TO DO.
Chara is too shocked and confused by the sentiment: I don’t… I don’t understand?
P: WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT A FRIEND NOT KILLING YOU? HUMANS ARE SO STRANGE ...OH! I SEE NOW! THE REASON WHY YOU CARRY YOUR KNIFE LIKE THAT. IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE MORE AFRAID OF US MONSTERS THAN WE COULD EVER BE OF YOU!
He sets them down in the shed on the dog bed.
P: I’M SORRY, HUMAN! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU MORE WARNING IF I HAD KNOWN HOW YOU FELT.
C: then… does that mean you’re going to let me go?
P: ABSOLUTELY NOT! I ALREADY CALLED UNDYNE TO MEET ME SO SHE CAN TAKE YOU! AND YOU NEED TO REST NOW AFTER ALL THAT!
C: !! I-I don’t know who Undyne is, but I can’t do that. I’m in a hurry to get out of here.
P: HMM… IF YOU’RE IN A HURRY THEN… NO, NO YOU CAN’T! WE NEED YOUR SOUL, I CAN’T JUST LET YOU LEAVE. UNDYNE’S REALLY COOL TOO, YOU’LL LIKE HER!
C: No, I have to go.
P: AGH, WELL… I SUPPOSE IF YOU CAN GET PAST ME BEFORE I CAN CATCH YOU, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO. BUT I WON’T GO EASY ON YOU!
Cut to chara walking toward waterfall, papyrus calling after them to come back and hang out sometime. They keep walking and mutter to themself: Sorry, but I’ll get out of here before that ever happens.
WATERFALL
They see monster kid and side eye sans as they charge in, hurriedly.
Chara keeps flowey around and asks him to read the words for him. FLowey says it’s not important at all to anything they’re doing. It’s just monster history junk that means nothing if chara’s trying to leave. Chara’s like shut up cmon help me out maybe there's clues. FLowey reads some history stuff in waterfall treating it like shit they already know
F: why do you care about all this garbage anyway?
C: I dunno, I guess it just sounds familiar. Like a story I heard a long time ago.
Chara stops suddenly and checks their phone. Flowey asks what’s up
C: i thought it rang… you didn’t hear-
The phone starts ringing. Papyrus is cheerfully on the other end and they walk and talk.
He tells them about how he heard so many horrible things about humans and the surface but chara was much nicer than he ever expected. Chara asks where he heard that and he says a flower told him. Chara covers the receiver and looks around for flowey, suspicions of him raised.
Montage w monster kid and umbrella
Chara falls from undyne’s spear attack and wakes up in the trash with flowey over them.
F: hey, wake up. I can tell you’re not dead so hurry up and get moving.
Chara’s kind of bummed: she killed me four times back there. And it wasn’t even a fight. I couldn’t talk her down or… i couldn’t even talk to her, I could barely see her.
F: what, are you giving up or something? You know she can kill you as much as she wants and you aren’t gonna die.
C: I know that! I know this is just like a game where you can keep on going but… it hurts. And it’s exhausting.
F: what will you do then? Sit here in this trash and do nothing?
C: *sigh* no. I’m just feeling down in the dumps.
They smile and get up.
As they’re walking out, they hear a click and someone to tell them to “hold it”
Mad dummys behind them and she just has a gun. Pointed directly at chara. She starts on her thing about the cousin and then blook saves the day.
Chara meets up with blook again. They go to where the snail races used to be. It’s all busted and unused
C: what’s this supposed to be…?
B: oh…. this used to be a snail farm…. And this was a race course…. For snails…. But a long time ago people started to call the races “insensitive” so we had to close them…. Sorry you can’t have any fun racing snails…
C: why was it insensitive…?
B: ...i’d… rather not talk about it………..
Timeskip
C: hey flowey! What’s up with this place and snails?
F:...i wouldnt know.
montage
After waterfall where undyne says how many souls they have
C: flowey… if they have 6 human souls, that means 6 others fell down and died here, so…
F: what?
C: i just- i mean you were the first one i met-
F: no, no, no, ive never killed anyone. You’re the only human i’ve seen since i woke up
Chara relaxes: ok. So you dont know anything about them.
F: no. i heard some things from toriel, not much. It’s too late to try asking her, but she’s seen all of them. She was there at the beginning even.
C: the beginning?
F: you know…. When humans started falling down here and monsters started killing them.
Chara goes silent in thought: wait… how… long has this been going on? How old is toriel?
F: dunno
Chara after having a rough time: it’s hard, but no matter what happens i can just keep trying. I’ll make it out of this! You believe in me right, flowey?
F: no i think you should give up.
Page/chapter ends there. Next is chara going up to fight undyne.
Open on a riff on the “long ago” cutscene that chara cuts off by saying they already know this story
Undyne screams SHUT UP!!! I’m doing my HEROIC MONOLOGUE!! Whatever, I bet you haven’t heard the part about the King and Queen’s human child who died of illness and their other son who was killed by the humans when he tried to return their body to the surface?!
C: No I think I heard that one too? Why are you telling me all this anyways??
U: because this is an UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE!! NYAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!
Chara’s getting their ass beat and on low hp: I’ll die in a hit or two. But that’s fine because I’ll just start this over. I’ll start from… where was the last save point…
A vision of them with flowey. Their eyes go red and the flashback cuts in between shots of them running from undyne
F: I think you should give up
Ch: what… give up?? I thought you were on my side with all the telling me to keep going and-and the hanging out with me?!
F: as if you had any other choice but to keep going! We both know you don’t.
C: so you’ve just been following this whole time waiting for me to give up and die, huh?! Why, are you trying to steal my soul just like everybody else?!?
F: it doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’re going to die! And die and die and die! You can reset as much as you want, it won’t change that! So what if I am waiting for you to give up? You’re the last thing keeping monsters trapped down here. If you give up, you’ll give everyone what they want!
C: I thought you wanted to help me?! I thought you were my friend!
F: I would never be friends with a human! You’re all nothing but killing machines!
C: I haven’t killed anyone!
F: You killed Toriel! No number of resets can change what you did! You’re a horrible, disgusting human just like all the others and everyone would be happier if you were dead!
Flowey could say something about dying down here is better than their inevitable death on the surface. Their death would at least be worth something. Mean something
Chara escapes the fight, undyne collapses, and they walk away. they tell themselves they won’t give up. They don’t need help, especially not from that dumb flower. They’ll live to spite him and everyone else who tries to kill them
Chara goes in and meets alphys and overall is p meh abt it bc bad mood. Alphys helping them through the underground makes them talk to themselves about how they dont need flowey, they can do this themself. Friends are no good.
hotland is as normal. probably figure out some indication of things not right. make the game seem broken bc they arent supposed to get so far like this
Chara meets with sans at mtt resort for food reluctantly. Lets him say his piece. After he’s done threatening to kill them chara says to his face that they really don’t like him.
Need some hubbub about them having to kill asgore to get out. Theyll be like yeah I know that (somehow)... oh but I need a plan… how will i come up with a plan..
Flowey finally appears to chara again just before they get to new home and tries to talk them out of leaving. Disparaging the surface and telling them they could live happily down here. Chara says no, it’s too hard because people are constantly hunting them down and being the last soul, no ones going to stop that. He says that he’s sorry for the way he was before
Chara smiles back, and then looks away: What you said before… about.. My inevitable death on the surface…
F: that was… don’t worry about that.
C: are you afraid of it?
F: well- yeah, it’s a dangerous place. Everyone knows that.
C: I’ve died a lot more times down here than I ever did up there.
A beat
C: you go back and forth a lot between talking about how I should stay down here because it’s better… but also if I die down here… everyone gets to go free… to the horrible, awful surface.
F: uh,, did I say all that…? I may have contradicted myself a little… I guess… in the end I just wanted an excuse for you to stay around. I really don’t want you to die.
C: so you did see me as a friend after all?
F: well…you reminded me of someone who was my friend. I wish we could have been friends.
C: Do you think… If I reset back to the beginning and did this again, if I said the right things… we could have been?
F: No… You could be as nice to me or as mean to me as you want. No matter how many times you reset, some things never change.
C: ...Did you ever… have to reset because you killed someone?
F: ……….once… and then I never reset ever again. The power to reset… makes you do bad things. It’s wrong. I had to stop because i knew… I’d make someone really upset if I kept messing around.
C: well, in that case… I guess I’ll just have to get the rest of the way out of here without any resets!
Flowey smiles: I dunno, keep one or two under your belt. You’re a pretty big klutz.
C: Thanks for helping me out of here, flowey. Even if you just did it because you were begged.
Can you imagine a more paranoid flowey who is less interested in attacking you and regaining the reset ability, but is pleased af that you have the reset ability because that means you can't die, and instead he spends the entire game trying to convince you that humanity is hopeless. That there is nothing on the surface world returning to. That it's safer, down here.
he's part of the reason why things are so much harder
he's the one that starts the rumors about the dangers of teh surface world
there's a definite sense of paranoia all across the board
When they approach new home, flowey appears one last time and grabs chara by the hand, telling them not to go. They can live in the underground, they’ve made a lot of friends here. Chara says that they have to go, they’ll find a way to get out without killing asgore. Flowey says that he tried to stop them, this is as far as he’ll go. This is goodbye. They bid their farewells and chara goes along, but flowey secretly follows them, much less detectable than ever before. It’s revealed when he’s hiding with the flowers.
Chara walks up to new home, regarding it as a vaguely familiar sight. They walk down the many halls knowing exactly where to go. The monsters speak as they go through the motions. They find a cookbook in the kitchen with a page for snail pie missing. Chara mumbles about already knowing the story and that they should all shut up. They walk more quickly to stay ahead of them. Then one mentions the snail pie and chara stops dead in their tracks. No that’s not how it happened- they stop, and take back off.
They are stopped by sans in the judgement hall, glaring at him.
S: well I had a whole speech to give ya, but you look like you’re in a hurry. You’re a weird kid, but you’re fine. The king’s up ahead.
OTHER alternative: chara realizes something’s wrong and runs back to get everyone, probably threatening to kill asgore to convince them to come quickly. Sans is avoided due to the mob approaching behind them “I heard the word that you’re on your way to kill the king.” c: are you here to stop me? “Nah. But you’d better have a good plan to back yourself up, kid. King’s up ahead”
They run up to asgore, no nonsense. Some time is taken to progress things. As they leave the throne room, flowey watches from the flowers, chara looks back to confirm he’s there.
Asgore draws up the souls, the fight is about to engage, before he can smash “MERCY” chara yells: ASRIEL. Get the souls.
Everything stops. Flowey is behind them, stunned and confused. Chara turns and asks him what he’s waiting for. Hurry up and take the souls before everyone else gets here. Nearly every last monster is coming, if he can become godlike and absorb them, it will be enough strength to break the barrier.
Flowey is confused, how do they know that? Chara tells him he did it before. Doesn’t he remember? Doesn’t he remember them?
Either flowey does it and something happens, or flowey waits too long and chaos erupts which gets them killed, and then chara and flowey have to meet up and workshop.
Final fight:
He probably says some shit about frisk and how he cant lose frisk again, chara must insist that theyre not frisk. When they say their name is chara, he hesitates for only a moment. Finally, when chara’s pinned and about to seriously die…
C: you remember it now too, don’t you? It took me a while, I couldn’t remember a thing until i started hearing your name around. You’re an all powerful god now, you should be able to remember it all better than me
A: shut up.
C: would frisk want us to fight like this?! Would frisk want you to kill your own sibling?!
A: c-.... You’re… you’re really chara?
He lets them go
They reach the conclusion that frisk messed with everything and put them here with no memories so they could do something frisk could never do. Frisk thinks they deserve to live, no matter how much the two may disagree. They have to play along. Asriel is a god and can use his powers to break the barrier and bring EVERYONE back to life so they can live together happily.
go to final fight and everyones already there, things are very confused, flowey takes the souls and things glitch out (screen phases between bosses) and chara realizes this isnt how things are supposed to be, tells asriel theyre sorry for their baggage but he doesnt understand bc he isnt theirs, and then they gotta find frisk somehow
OR... they realize things in the speech and don't go to fight asgore bc theyre finding flowey... they feign fighting asgore and then suddenly tell flowey to take the souls("Asriel! get the souls!" and thats the first time they call him by name)...? i like that a bit better. they start going on about crazy shit that makes roided out flowey kind of lose it at them which leads to them apologizing to their own asriel but then realizing they need to find frisk
but HOW do they find frisk
The end shows chara asriel and frisk hugging eachother, all alive and well. Then the two are “processing…” and remember that oh, theyve done some dark messed up stuff.
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I’ve recently witnessed some discourse in the fandom in which the OP called Nesta an abuser and offered thoughts on the relationship dynamic she has with her sisters vs with Emerie and Gwyn, the Valkyries she now refers to as sisters. Someone commented on said post and asked when Nesta had abused Elain. There’s inherent bias in this post as I really like Elain’s character in the books but for the purposes of this post only CANON will be referenced.
First off, let me preface this by saying I love Nesta as a character, but I don’t put her on any kind of pedestal for a multitude of reasons. Also, please let me know if you’d like for me to retag this in any particular way as this is my first serious post.
Here we go…
Chapter 17
Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta.”
The words were kindling. Elain had accepted his death as inevitable. She hadn’t bothered to fight for him, as if he hadn’t been worth the effort, precisely as Nesta knew she herself wasn’t worth the effort.
This time, Nesta didn’t stop the power from shining in her eyes; she shook so violently she had to fist her hands. “You tell yourself there’s nothing that could have been done because it’s unbearable to think that you could have saved him, if you’d only deigned to show up a few minutes earlier.” The lie was bitter in her mouth.
It wasn’t Elain’s fault their father had died. No, that was entirely Nesta’s own fault. But if Elain was so determined to root out the good in her, then she’d show her sister how ugly she could be. Let a fraction of this agony rip into her.
This was why Elain had chosen Feyre. This.
Feyre had rescued Elain time and again. But Nesta had sat by, armed only with her viper’s tongue. Sat by while they starved. Sat by when Hybern stole them away and shoved them into the Cauldron. Sat by when Elain had been kidnapped. And when their father had been in Hybern’s grip, she had done nothing, nothing to save him, either. Fear had frozen her, blanketing her mind, and she’d let it do so, let it master her, so that by the time her father’s neck had snapped, it had been too late. And entirely her fault.
Why wouldn’t Elain choose Feyre?
Elain stiffened, but refused to balk from whatever she beheld in Nesta’s gaze. “You think I’m to blame for his death?” Challenge filled each word. Challenge—from Elain, of all people. “No one but the King of Hybern is to blame for that.” The quaver in her voice belied her firm words.
Nesta knew she’d hit her mark. She opened her mouth, but couldn’t continue. Enough. She had said enough. That fast, the power in her receded, vanishing into smoke on the wind. Leaving only exhaustion weighing her bones, her breath. “It doesn’t matter what I think. Go back to Feyre and your little garden.”
Even during their squabbles in the cottage, fighting over who got clothes or boots or ribbons, it had never been like this. Those fights had been petty, born of misery and discomfort. This was a different beast entirely, from a place as dark as the gloom at the base of the library.
Not the blatant belittlement with that “little garden” comment. Trust me when I say I know intrusive thoughts and that this was early on in Nesta’s mental journey but still. This is her, CANONICALLY, preying on Elain’s emotions about what happened with their father and Hybern. We know that Nesta went through a lot of self-hate in this book but that whole “Let a fraction of this agony rip into her” was uncalled for. Elain went to see her sister, whom she admires and recognizes as her protector, only to get chewed out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that Nesta didn’t want her there but Nesta was unable to control her emotions and consciously sought to hurt Elain with her words. (Not that she’s not hurting/hating herself too I mean just read the underlined part.)
Chapter 21 (sidenote: this chapter needs to be talked more about in the fandom)
Post Nesta refusing to let Elain find the Trove and the “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” moment. (iconic btw)
Nesta’s pulse pounded throughout her body. “Do you not remember the war? What we encountered? Do you not remember the Cauldron kidnapping you, bringing you into the heart of Hybern’s camp?”
“I do,” Elain said coldly. “And I remember Feyre rescuing me.”
For a heartbeat, it appeared that Elain might say something to soften the words. But Nesta cut her off, seething at the pity about to be thrown her way. “Look who decided to grow claws after all,” she crooned. “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.”
Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike.
Elain’s eyes brightened with pain. Something imploded in Nesta’s chest at that expression. She opened her mouth, as if it could somehow be undone. But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you can think of is what mytrauma did to you.”
Aside from the obvious iconic nature of this whole exchange here we see Nesta yet again hurt and belittle Elain. And yeah, sure, Elain tried to hurt Nesta too here by throwing in that reminder that it was Feyre (and Az) who went into Hybern’s camp and rescued her. But as soon as she did it she went into an apology mode but was cut off as her sister couldn’t stand someone feeling sad for her and needed to remind Elain that she’s a bad person who hurts others. The “interesting at last” comment was a (pardon my French) bitch move. There, I said it.
Nesta knew just which words to use to beat down her younger sister who’d always looked up to her, and she didn’t hesitate to use them. She knew which words would hurt her and she said them. Elain shot back here though and reminded Nesta that her trauma with being captured by the Cauldron is her own and no one can shoulder that for her. And that despite this trauma, she’s willing to risk herself to find the Trove and face the magic that took her choices away.
Anyways, I just wanted to shed some light on some scenes that I think a lot of readers and participants of the acotar tumblr fandom glossed over. These were, coincidentally, 2 of the few times Elain showed up in ACOSF. I mean, given the fandom’s warring views on Elain as a character it’s not shocking people would gloss over her and Nesta’s interactions (even though she who knows more about Nesta than anyone else).
I guess I’ll close this by saying that Nesta is not a perfect character. And, admittedly, these scenes did happen in the first half of the book. However, just because Nesta battled her mental health and overcame a lot of challenges, it doesn’t erase the fact that she hurt Elain with her words. She preyed on her younger sister’s love for her and (to my recollection) did not apologize for the way she treated her. Nesta’s an interesting character and so is Elain. Elain is a huge part of the acotar story/world, whether you like it or not.
#acosf#elain archeron#nesta archeron#i love her but this needed to be addressed#not sure if its anti but just in case like I'm only talking about things she's said that were not good#lmk what yall think
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Shield (one-shot)
Synopsis: To the new Captain America she might just be a human shield. But Bucky can see there’s more to it. What he can’t understand is why she stays.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Genre: angst, lil bit of fluff
Warnings: mentions of blood and guns, swearing, torture, low mental state etc.
Word count: 3591
I am going absolutely feral about the fact that a portion of the series takes place in Latvia as I am Latvian :D Just seeing the signs and streets (which are not really ours cause they filmed in Prague, but are similar enough I can envision it), especially because we’re such a small country is amazeballs, so to be in such a huge show with my MCU faves is insane. Had the same kind of reaction to Brooklyn Nine-Nine with Nikolaj and the Captain Latvia episode. Riga hammer for the win :D
P.S. John Walker is not Captain America cause he does not posses America’s ass. Also Zemo is one hundred percent Bucky’s and Sam’s sugar daddy. I won’t accept any dispute over this.
P.S.S. please also remember - John Walker is a character not a real person. John Walker is played by an actor who is doing his job the same way the actor who played Joffrey did. Do not harass him etc. but rather appreciate the insane talent he has. This place is a Wyatt Russell stan place.
P.S.S.S. Kinda spoilers for the show so if you haven’t seen it, don’t read this.
He hated him. Bucky genuinely hates him. He never thought he had despised something or someone so much, not even HYDRA, as much as he hated John Walker – the new Captain America. He wanted to scream at that, at the fact that this arrogant asshole was carrying Steve’s shield, the symbol of freedom and everything good, while in reality, he embodied none of what it stood for.
Walker and what he’d learned his sidekick was Battlestar, had swooped in from a helicopter while Sam and he had been following the Flag-Smasher vehicles, and, well, they hadn’t been a lot of help, which he shouldn’t be too surprised about. But what he had been surprised about was when they’d all been thrown off of the semi-trucks and scattered all around a field, someone else had been in the mix as well.
A young woman with Y/H/C hair and determined Y/E/C eyes was rushing towards them, screaming for them to stay on the ground. When Bucky looked behind, he could see why given how one of the radicalised people had jumped from the trucks and was barreling at them with an automatic cocked at them
But it wasn’t Walker who jumped up running past her, shield at the ready to take on the fire. No. He just remained sitting as the stranger kept her pace. She leapt at the two with a grace of a cat, pushing him and Sam back to the ground and immediately got blown back by the received ammunition, gasps leaving her mouth as the bullets entered her body.
Sam’s wings extended and created a body length shield as Bucky snatched one of the knives strapped to the man’s side and flung it with deadly accuracy into the Flag-Smasher’s neck, dropping him to the ground.
There was blood when he looked back. There was so much blood, and once again it was all over Bucky’s hands, and he couldn’t breathe properly, pressing down on her abdomen and shoulder and side, and. oh god, there were too many bullet wounds...
Two wide Y/E/C eyes stared back up at him, mouth gasping down shallow breaths as he held down on her wounds trying to stop the blood from pouring out. God, there was so much of it.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he gritted, his body trembling. “Well get you help. You’ll be alright.”
But then Walker spoke up, and Bucky saw read because of a different reason. “She’s fine, just leave it.”
His head snapped to see that arrogant bastard cross his arms as he hissed. “Leave it? She’s fucking bleeding out! She took those bullets for you, and you just want to leave it?!”
Walker just smirked, nudging his chin towards her body. “You’ll see.”
“You let her use herself as a shield while you did nothing!”
“Yeah,” he scoffed. “Because that’s her whole point.”
And that’s when Bucky felt her skin shift underneath his hands. Slowly the blood stopped pouring out, Y/N’s breathing evened, and her eyes closed not because death was calling, but because of relief as the regenerative cells kicked into high gear.
Bucky gazed in wonder as the wounds closed up, and when only scar tissue remained he snapped his blue eyes to her, Y/E/C ones already staring back at him.
“Who are you?” he whispered
“A human shield that’s what,” Walker answered in her stead, but Bucky just sneered.
“I asked who, not a what. She’s a fucking person.”
Once more he looked back down and saw a strange look in her eyes. It was as if she was trying to decipher what those words meant, but once the shock from such a huge assault had ended, she gulped down a breath and gave him a crooked smile. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”
A lopsided one came to grace his own face. “I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky.”
“Bucky.” Her eyebrow rose. “Well, it’s very nice to finally meet you.”
He smiled at her, and not the painful smile he’d given the senator before her arrest, but a real genuine smile, one that made the skin around his eyes crinkle.
“And it’s very nice you didn’t decide to die on us.”
“Yeah, yeah, can we cut this meet and greet shorter?” Walker interrupted them, and if Bucky hadn’t been holding onto Y/N’s shoulder as she tried to rise from the ground, he would’ve punched the guy.
“I told you she was going to be fine.”
Bucky threw him his best murder glare but stopped when he felt Y/N squeeze his hand as if saying ‘don’t bother.' His brows furrowed in confusion. She just shook her head.
“We should still find you a hospital.” He talked to Y/N directly, ignoring what the new Captain was saying. “It doesn’t matter that you can survive something like that, I’d rather make sure you’re checked out by professionals.
“It won’t be necessary.” Walker slipped the shield on his arm and nudged his partner to start walking with him, pretty much expecting the rest to follow. “It was her choice anyway to take the hits.”
“It doesn’t mean she should!” Bucky pretty much hollered, startling even Sam.
At that, he saw Y/N’s eyes widen and her head snap up to look at him. All the breath got knocked out from Bucky at the emotion in her face. It was like she didn’t believe what he was saying like she didn’t know it was a possibility to not put her own life before someone else’s, that maybe someone is supposed to do it for her, someone could protect her.
“She absorbs fucking bullets and infuses them in her body.” John mocked. “I’d say it’s a win-win on both sides. Everyone else stays safe, and she gets stronger, right? The whole bleeding thing is a hitch in the system, but our guys say with enough scuffles that should stop as well.”
Walker looked at her. Y/N just gulped, staring back down at the ground between her knees.
When he looked back at everything the moment he’d seen Zemo in the cell and the asshole had said something still remained in him from the Winter Soldier, came back to connect with the scene. He’d hated that sentence because Bucky knew it was true. The Soldier would always be a part of him, but that was what therapy was for – to accept it and let go. But in that minute, he wouldn’t have cared one bit if the ruthless assassin came to the surface if it meant snapping Walker’s neck like a stick.
He treated the woman as if she was below him, as if Steve’s shield somehow made him better than her, better than anyone, and yet, even when he’d been given the privilege to carry it, he’d rather use a human person, no matter if they had powers, as a shield.
A soft hand touched his side, and Bucky looked at Y/N, his breathing heavy at Walker’s words.
“I’m alright.” Her voice was softer than he thought it would be. Maybe it was because she was trying to stay out of John’s earshot, but even the gentle whisper made something in Bucky’s chest stir. “Thank you,” she said. “For checking up on me.”
Bucky stiffly nodded, standing up and offering both his hands for her to take, but even with that, it took Sam holding her by the waist to be able to stand. The Falcon had to catch her, in fact, when she took her first steps, an awkward chuckle escaping her mouth.
“It’s been a while since a hit like this.”
Sam quirked a brow and smirked. “You always have a tendency to do stupid shit like that?”
Y/N’s whole body relaxed as he said so, and a sting went through Bucky’s own. How bad were they treating her if basic kindness and a little bit of joking made her feel so safe?
Just as he was about to ask her more, to offer to take her with them, Walker spoke up again. That conversation was an absolute disaster, and the fact that Walker thought Sam and him would actually ever consider working with him on this mission was idiotic.
It ended with the two Avengers watching how Walker threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulders, making her knees buckle with the weight, her from still regaining strength, but he didn’t care, just dragged her along with him and Battlestar.
“Are we just gonna let ‘em do that to her?” Bucky sneered, arms crossed watching their retreating forms over the field.
He felt Sam glower next to him. “There’s not much we can do.”
He hated that he was right.
Bucky couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. One meeting had left him shaken to the core not just about her, but about how there was something deeply off with the new Captain America, that if they didn’t take action something horrible would happen, not just because of his arrogance, but because of some seed he could feel had rooted itself in the other man’s heart.
But by that point they’d been in Madripoor, had met Sharon who’d been on the run from the US government ever since the dismantlement of the Avengers, and had now followed a lead to where the Flag-Smashers had settled in Latvia.
Zemo seemed to not only have a billion cars, but a billion apartments scattered around the world, this one being in the heart of the Old Town.
Bucky was on the roof looking over the twinkling lights of the city. His bed had been too soft as it always was, and even the floor wasn’t it for him, not a wink of sleep coming his way as his thoughts were flooded by Y/N.
Well, the sleep part wasn’t true. He had been able to drift off, only to dream of how the woman didn’t get better, didn’t absorb those bullets and had died right in his arms. That’s when he decided he needed a breath of fresh air.
The sound of shuffling feet made him whip around from the scenic view only to be greeted by a form he’d now recognise in a full-on ski-suit in pitch-black darkness.
“What are you doing here?” Bucky stood up wanting to stride over and check her for any wounds she might’ve gotten while around Walker. Any new scar on her body would mean the same number of teeth he’d knock from that Walmart-version-Captain-America’s mouth.
“Came to warn you.” She shrugged, soft winds making her coat flutter. “John and Lemar are resting, but come morning they’ll be on your ass, so you might wanna make a move now.”
Bucky shook his head. “I don’t get you. You’re nothing like them, I can see that you know how wrong it is, for him to be carrying that shield, that he’s making a mockery out of the name and legacy Steve built, and yet…”
Y/N hung her head lifting her shoulders, hands in her pockets. “I gotta do what I gotta do.”
“He’s an asshole,” Bucky hissed.
Y/N gave him a painful look. “I know. But I don’t have anywhere to go. Besides… you have your own way of making amends. Well, this is mine.”
Dark brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
She let out a painful chuckle, not because of the memories now plaguing her waking thoughts, but because her wounds were still healing, and instantly Bucky came closer and took her hand, running a soothing thumb over her palm. Wounds he was sure were new.
Y/N froze at his touch, and Bucky was about to pull away when she put her own thumb over his. He had to bite back tears at how tenderly she was looking down at his palm. Like no one had ever comforted her when it hurt.
“When the Blip happened,” she started, voice low and quiet. “I watched how my sister and mom disappeared right in front of my eyes. We were driving over the Golden Gate Bridge, and there was a truck before us. It was carrying loads of metal scraps. The driver of the truck got blipped as well.” She swallowed harshly. “I can still feel how the beam went through my shoulder, how it broke the bone and skin, and how I just wanted to disappear like they had just to make the pain stop. But I didn’t. It hurt so bad.” Y/N looked at Bucky, tears running down her face. “It was burning and tearing, and so much pain… and all I could do was scream, but no one heard me because everyone else was screaming, and I was just one of the thousands doing it.”
Y/N shook her head, and when Bucky leaned closer to wipe away the tears, she sighed at the feeling. “I passed out sometime later. From the pain the… well, everything. And when I woke up, I heard people outside the door, trying to rip it open, I could see red lights flashing, but where I expected that beam to be was nothing. When I looked down at myself there was a hole in my shirt, but instead of a hole in my shoulder, a round scar was the only thing left from that moment.”
“They took me to the hospital, and when they tried to put an IV in, my body just swallowed up the needle.” She took a shaky breath, and Bucky squeezed her side. ‘Go on’ he tried to convey with the touch. ‘I’m here.’
“That’s when the tests started. They were fine at first. Blood samples when they managed to get any, saliva and all that good jazz… but then they started poking. And poking turned into slicing which turned into stabbing until I was their personal pincushion, as they tried to see what my body would and wouldn’t take.”
Y/N was shaking by that point, but not because of the wind that had picked up, but because of anger, of the horror, she’d had to go through. It took everything in Bucky to remain calm and let her continue.
“Two years they did that. And then one time they went a bit too far. Someone had stolen a vibranium spear from the Dora Milaje.”
Bucky’s breath got caught in his throat. He wasn’t moving a muscle.
“They wanted to know if I could absorb the strongest metal on Earth, so slowly…” Her hands went to her front, to the white blouse she was wearing and started popping open the buttons. Bucky was just about to protest when he understood.
“They pushed the spear too far.” Her finger ran over a rhomb shaped scar right in the centre of her chest. Right over her heart. “Pushed it right through.”
“How did you survive?” Bucky was appalled, but in awe at the same time.
Y/N shook her head. “I didn’t. I died then and there on the table. They took my body and dumped it in some ditch. From my own calculations, it took me about a day to heal. They’d sown in a scalpel in my stomach a few hours before, so I’m assuming it used that as the binding material for the cells.”
“I was so angry.” She looked at him. “At everyone, at myself, that I couldn’t help my family, that I allowed them to just use me like that, I just went off the deep end. I did so many bad things…” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I read about the Winter Soldier, y’know. His whole thing was efficiency, quickness. I – “ She choked on her words. “I wasn’t. I wanted to drag it out. Wanted to find each and every one of the bastards who laid their hands on me and make them suffer as I did.”
Bucky’s hand settled on her waist as he pulled her closer, feeling her body keen at the motion as she looked for reassurance. “I’m not a good person, Bucky. This.” She motioned with her head to her body. “This is my repentance for what I did.”
“What he’s doing is not right. What they’re making you do is not right.” Bucky shook his head. “Just because it might not kill you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. No one had any right to touch you.”
“It’s the price I pay for what I did.”
“Pain?”
Y/N nodded. “Eye for an eye. Pain for the pain I caused.”
Bucky shook his head. “That’s not right.”
“How else am I supposed to do this?”
“By getting help yourself first.”
Y/N’s eyes widened, and Bucky sighed. He understood how impossible that thought seemed, that someone who’s done so much bad could deserve help from others, but he understood her situation better than anyone. “Being here,” he said, “being able to say these things… I can only do that because I got help. It was mandated by the state, but nevertheless…” Both chuckled at that, and Bucky’s heart lightened at the sound, at the genuine sound of joy from her. “But the therapy… I hate to say this, but it helped. It’s not easy. I sometimes detest going to the sessions, and I might be failing them quite miserably right now, especially with rule number two –“
“What’s rule number two?”
“Don’t hurt anyone,” Bucky mumbled. “And I’ve broken it quite a lot recently, I know that which will either make me end up behind bars or will add more therapy sessions to the list, but I’m not afraid anymore.”
Y/N gulped, gazing just as intensely at Bucky as he was at her. “Of what?”
“Of reaching out.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Of asking for help. Of understanding that I deserve help, and I deserve to receive it.”
“Yeah, but the thing is I’m not like you.” Y/N looked away from him. “No one forced me to do this, no one brainwashed me. I did everything out of my own volition. Me. No one else. You deserve that help because HYDRA did all those things to you. You are a victim of war. I’m not. All those horrible things I did… I did them. Not some alias of mine.”
Bucky’s heart hurt at the fact that Y/N couldn’t see she was a victim of her own circumstance, and how now the government was punishing her for it. And that’s when another brick hit him – it was exactly like Isaiah’s situation. Both came from marginalised groups, parts of society where the ones in power have been trying to oppress and control them for as long as he could remember, he just couldn’t see it. He could see Sam’s point of view now. Maybe not as clearly as he should, but he was starting to wipe away the fog.
“They used you just as much as HYDRA used me.” He asserted, and Y/N’s eyes widened at his sure statement. “Just because a pile of shit has a bowtie on now, doesn’t mean it’s no longer a pile of shit… Come with us.” Bucky’s forehead pressed to hers. “Let’s do this the right way.”
“It’s mandated by the US government that I stay by John’s side and help him.”
Bucky smirked at that, nudging his nose against Y/N’s. “Well, it’s a good thing we’re in Latvia then. Besides Captain America has no pull here.”
She laughed, warm breath slipping over Bucky’s skin, and he had to close his eyes as the thought of her breathless and underneath him invaded his mind. “Unfortunately, this deal stands whether I’m inside the borders of USA or outside.”
Y/N looked over the skyline to where the country’s national monument stood. A woman, hands up in the air outstretched with three stars in her palms, with words she couldn’t understand when she'd arrived etched on the granite at the bottom. Some local had translated them for her. For the Fatherland and Freedom.
After the blip and the experiments, she didn’t feel like she had a home. She’d been imprisoned and prodded like some lab bunny to see what her body could do. What her body could be used for.
Bucky followed her gaze as she kept looking at the statue. Different stars, different saying, but still with the same meaning of what he saw when he looked at the Captain America shield. Freedom. Justice. For the love of their home.
Something deep started to burn in her chest, and even Bucky could feel the shift.
A ferocious look appeared in her eyes as she looked at him. “Let’s get that shield.” She wasn’t going to let Walker taint that star, she knew would happen if he had it for much longer.
They’d had a single meeting beforehand, and during that half-hour, he’d been terrified for more than two-thirds of the time about how Y/N might die in his arms, die because she’d taken bullets meant for him.
He was so glad she hadn’t, not because it would be another life lost because of him, but because he felt like he’d found a twin flame – someone who’d understand him and his troubles. Someone he could help.
Maybe that could be the true way he could make amends – help someone in the same situation.
Bucky smiled.
Y/N did so too, and his heart skipped a beat looking at the woman.
Her body might be able to absorb the metals piercing it, Walker might call her a human shield, but he knew she was so much more than that. And he’d spend however long it took him to prove so to her. Maybe even in more ways than one.
_________________________________________________________________
Please reblog if you like this. For whatever reason my Bucky fics aren’t appearing in the tags :(
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#Bucky Barnes#bucky imagine#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#Sebastian Stan#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan x y/n#the falcon and the winter soldier#Disney#diseny+#marvel#marvel imagine#Marvel Studios#imagine marvel#marvel endgame#The Avengers#avengers 4#avengers fanfiction#avengers imagine#avengers x reader#Avengers#captain america
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Washed Away
Title // Washed Away
Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader
Warnings // Panic attacks sort of. This chapter is mostly clean.
Summary // Who knew hanging out with Buck and Christopher for a day would lead to a life or death situation?
Word Count // 1.5k
Prompt // Hi! Can i request a fic where you were with Buck & Christopher when the tsunami hit? They could be dating or crushing on each other. If nothing comes to mind, then it’s completely fine to ignore this request! Have a nice day!’
Author’s Note // This is Part 1 of the Washed Away series. || Part 2 || Part 3
It was a beautiful day at the pier. Crowded, yet beautiful. Carnival music was playing in every direction. The smell of funnel cakes, cotton candy, and popcorn wafted through the air. There was laughing, screaming, and merriment everywhere you looked.
You had to give Evan Buckley credit. He sure knew how to pick a good first date spot.
Okay, so maybe date was pushing it a little bit. You have known the guy for a while now, but that’s mostly because of Christopher. You are the nurse at Christopher’s school. It’s how you met Buck. When Christopher is ill, or perhaps has an incident where he needs to go home, sometimes Buck picks him up. He was, after all, one of the few people Eddie Diaz trusted around his son. Since Buck quit the LAFD and Eddie was working constantly to pick up the extra work, Christopher was often in Evan Buckley’s care.
And my goodness, what a charmer Evan Buckley turned out to be.
Buck and Christopher finished riding Shark Frenzy, a ride that reminded you of the teacups at Disney World. They met up with you at a blue picnic table, where you had cotton candy ready for the boys.
Buck took the blue one. “B for Buck, B for blue.”
Christopher took the pink one and dived right into it, giggling and enjoying himself.
“Mmm,” Christopher said with a satisfying smile. Pink floss was stuck to his fingers, but he paid no mind to it.
“Good?” Buck asked, and the little boy nodded. Buck went to snatch a piece, but Christopher pulled back with a laugh. It was kind of adorable to see.
“Where to next?” you asked as you looked around. In every direction, there were amusement park rides everywhere.
“Let’s take a break and play some games,” Buck said as he flashed you a charming smile.
The three of you cleaned up the table, with Buck tossing everything in the trash. You were on one side of Christopher and Buck was on the other, with the little boy using his crutches in between. Slowly, the three of you made your way to the arcade row on the pier. Games were lined up one right after another and Christopher pointed to a water gun shooting game.
“I want to play that,” he said, and Buck complied to his wishes.
You insisted on paying for a round or two, with Buck being out of a job and all, but the handsome ex-firefighter swatted your hand away and plopped two dollars on the table.
“Two rounds,” Buck told the person in charge.
“You are so stubborn,” you retorted as you pocketed your money.
Buck only smiled and sat down. He pulled Christopher into his lap and together, they began round one.
Christopher held the trigger and Buck controlled the aiming. The object of the game was to shoot a stream of water at a small target which will raise a platform. The first person whose platform reaches the top wins.
Together, they were invested. Honestly, you were watching from the sidelines and you thought for sure they had some kind of strategy planned out beforehand.
“I am so proud of you right now, I cannot be more proud of you. Come on, we’re so close! So close!” Buck was telling Christopher as their little platform was rising more and more with each passing second. Christopher was smiling the entire time, and when the bell rang, both boys acted like it was the greatest moment of their lives. They screamed and cheered, and celebrated their win.
“You did it! Come on, high five!” Buck said as he held his hand out.
Christopher slapped it as hard as he could, and Buck over-exaggerated the little boy’s strength and flailed backwards.
However, the sound of a siren interrupted the fun and games and Buck immediately turned. He was looking past you, over your shoulder. Slowly, he stood up, his eyes never leaving what was happening behind you. Curiosity got the better of you and you turned to see what the man was looking at.
“And we have a winner!” the man running the water gun booth said in the background, handing a giant brown teddy bear to Christopher.
But the two of you paid no mind to that as an ambulance rolled up through the crowd.
A person in some kind of dinosaur costume collapsed. Buck was inching closer to the scene, and you grabbed him by the arm to hold him in place. He looked down at your hand, which was around his bicep and his eyes traced your arm up to you.
“The paramedics got this,” you whispered to him and he nodded, looking defeated and a bit sad.
It broke your heart.
At school, when Christopher would see you, he would always go on and on about Buck and firefighting. Buck had such a passion for his job and to not have it at the moment must be soul-crushing.
“Buck!” Christopher said behind the two of you, “Buck!”
The paramedics shocked their patient with an AED and you could feel Buck exhale. He was holding his breath the entire time. You pulled him back and he turned to face you with a forced smile. While he would never admit it, he was so grateful you were there.
“Come on, you two. Let’s go sit down and take a break,” you said as you handed Christopher his crutches and abandoning the second round of the water gun game. The three of you found an empty bench at the edge of the pier and sat down. Christopher wanted to look out at the ocean, so Buck picked him up and helped him stand on the bench. Gripping the back of Christopher’s shirt tightly so that the boy doesn’t fall in, Buck sat down, and you sat next to him. There was silence for a little bit and you looked over at Buck, who seemed deep in thought.
“Ever think about what you wanna do with your life?” Buck asked, “What you want to be when you grow up?”
“Astronaut or a pirate,” Christopher answered instantly. It was like he didn’t even need to think about it.
Buck nodded in agreement. “Some good choices. Cool outfits too.”
“No wait,” Christopher said with a smile, “a firefighter.”
Of course, it made sense. His father was a firefighter and Buck used to be one. Growing up in that field and being around that environment made such an impression on Christopher.
Buck only chuckled and nodded a little to accept Christopher’s answer. He clenched his jaw, wanting to clearly move on from the topic. “What about you, Y/N? Was nursing what you always wanted to do?”
You turned to look at him, a little confused by the question. No one ever asked you that before. Everyone just assumed nursing was your passion, considering the overwhelming amount of schooling you need to become one.
“Yes,” you said with a nod, “I like helping others.”
Buck grinned and turned his head to look at you. He knew all about helping others. It was one of the many reasons the two of you relate so well with each other. Slowly, his hand was creeping off to the side, getting closer and closer to yours without trying to seem obvious. You didn’t even realize until his pinky finger was brushing the back of your hand.
“Yeah, me too.” Buck’s pinky linked through your own and you could swear that your heart fluttered as he touched you. Could it be? Did Evan Buckley have a little crush on you? Did you have a crush on Evan Buckley? Was this really happening?
He was gazing into your eyes and…wait a minute, was he leaning in? Should you lean in too? Not going to lie, you wanted to. And… there goes your head, getting closer and closer to his.
But he stopped. He looked alarmed, shocked even, and turned his head to look out at the ocean. You slumped back with a slight pout, knowing it was too good to be true. It was stupid to have a little crush on Buck.
The ex-firefighter was gripping onto Christopher’s shirt tightly as he stood up, your pinkies unlocking, and you could tell instantly that something was very wrong. You stood up too and looked at Buck.
He held onto Christopher as a crowd of people were gathering behind you, watching was well. Everyone seemed to stop in their tracks and stare at the ocean.
“What’s wrong?” you asked as you followed his line of sight out to the ocean.
But the answer was right there in front of you. The water had pulled back drastically.
“Where did all the water go?” Christopher asked, looking confused.
Panic was slowly rising inside of you as you stood next to Buck. You felt his hand slip into yours, holding your fingers tightly in a grip. You clung back onto him with your other hand wrapping around his arm tightly.
A warning siren blasted through the loudspeakers in place of the fun carnival music.
A giant wave was rolling back, taking in as much water as it could possibly carry. Your panic turned into fear as you saw the wave approach the shore. A massive tsunami was about to hit and you, along with Buck and Christopher, were trapped on the pier.
#evan buckley#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley x you#Buck#buck x reader#9-1-1#9-1-1 on fox#christopher diaz#oliver stark
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🎬 what would you do to improve the show?
[its perfect how it is] no could you imagine
alright heres my NUMBER ONE change, strap in:
Abigail needs to stop being a shock value Character.
First of all, I'm against her appearance in s3. The way the show does a lil fakeout like "oo did Abigail survive mizumono???? oops no will is just imagining her" like fuck that noise. if you want her to be there so Will has something to talk at I think that's valid. maybe even have her be all bloody and scary the whole time. bloody Abigail Hobbs in the Norman chapel? kind of a Vibe. and don't worry the take only gets hotter from here
Abigails role in mizumono is dumb and bad and I hate it so much. its so dumb that its like "surprise abigail has been alive this WHOLE time but now 2 minutes later we are killing her for shock value :) " no. bad writing. dumb and cheap and we can do better.
so here's 2 ways to remedy this:
option A- and this is the considerably easier option: just. Dont Do That. Hannibal killed Abigail in s1. Will hates him for it. their confrontation in mizumono is intense and beautiful and raw on its own, you don't NEED abigails sudden appearance and death to make it emotional. if anything the current version cheapens like the whole scene imo. so yeah just cut that part of the scene. have han push Alana out the window himself and then gut Will. easy.
now let's talk about option B aka the Cooler Better option: you remember those scenes in s3 where we get a glimpse of what han and Abigail were doing in s2? talking about killing and stuff? let's put aallllll that in s2. think about it. s2a is so fucking SLOW guys like I love it but its not as Fun as the rest of the show imo. so let's! reveal that Abigail is alive like right away! like s2e2 or smthn. then were intercutting wills prison sentence and his seething, overwhelming anger at han for killing Abigail with scenes of han and Abigail Doing Whatever The Fuck. and it's like. imagine how hard s2b hits like that. watching Will plan to betray han instead of running away with him, Knowing that Abigail is alive and that Han wants them all to leave together. remember how painful that scene in mizumono is when Han is all but BEGGING will to run away? imagine how awful it would be if all season you've known that Abigail is still there, just out of wills reach. and it's also infuriating, because you're screaming at han to just be honest with Will. if han would just TELL will that Abigail was alive, he would choose Florence in an instant. and then that moment in the kitchen when Will finally SEES Abigail, alive? the way he falls apart? now that shot is what the whole season has been leading up to. you've been waiting for this moment, when will would finally know what you, the viewer have known all along.
and then when han kills her its horrible. so horrible, because we've had another season to grow to like Abigail, to see the vision of them as a family that han sees. and ugh isn't that better? isn't that so much more compelling than just "surprise she's been in the basement all along!" idk I didn't mean to rant but this is my biggest gripe with the show and ill die on this hill amen
#me#hannibal#hannigram#hannibal lecter#will graham#abigail hobbs#the way they handled abigail is the only thing i uniromically hate about that show
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How they realize that they are in love
» Katsuki Bakugo // Shoto Todoroki // Izuku Midoriya x gn!reader (no pronouns used)
» Genre: Fluff & Angst » Summary: Just some HCs about Baku, Todo & Deku (seperately) and how they realize that they are in love » Warnings: fighting, death, injuries & swearing (Bakugo) implied abuse (Todoroki) panic attacks, overthinking & mentions of fighting (Midoriya) » Words: ~1.7k » Author's Note: These were fun to write, if you’d like to see them for any other characters, feel free to ask! This was inspired by @/costellos, check their stuff out
You can find a link to my Masterlist etc in my bio and pinned post
⋘ ──────── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──────── ⋙
» Katsuki Bakugo:
Bakugo realizes that he is in love with you when you put yourself in danger to help him
Usually, Bakugo would be furious if someone else saw him as a person in need of help and tried supporting or even protecting him in a dangerous situation, but this time it feels different
Instead of anger boiling deep within Bakugo, close to making him explode, he feels an unusual numbness at first, while he watches your body fall to the ground after taking a hit for him. Even though he is often unable to identify his own feelings and is out of touch with them, he notices that change withing himself
The numbness quickly gives way to fear. He tumbles forward as he screams your name. For the first time in a while he is not sure what to do; he wants to check if you are alright, if you are alive, if you are still with him. But he also wants to charge forward and rip the person who hurt you to shreds
He feels helpless, unable to decide and unable to push those sudden overwhelming feelings aside. Instead, shock is freezing his whole body, only allowing his arms and legs to tremble. His mind is racing and screaming and calling him weak. Weak for needing your help, weak for not being able to protect you, weak for not killing this damn bastard in front of him
“Bakugo!” Your voice is feeble and barely audible over the sounds of the fight, but he can still hear you. You reach him through the clouds in his mind, through his own voice in his head tormenting him
He regains control over his body and it only takes him a few blows to knock out the enemy
In the next moment, he is cowering next to you, pulling you close, checking your vitals. Once again, his fingers tremble. You are alive, but in dire need of help
Bakugo hates being afraid and he pushes the feeling down with full force, trying to let his anger take over once again. The anger that numbs his senses, makes him care less about the people around him, makes him unapproachable and lets him keep everyone at a distance
“You damn fool!” His voice cracks. “I didn’t ask for your fucking help!” You look up at him with half-lidded eyes. “Baku-” “Shut up!” The pain in his throat from screaming is a welcome one. “Just shut the fuck up! I didn’t need you to save me, dammit!” A lump forms in his throat, taking his ability to speak. He can feel tears in his eyes, but he wipes them away before they can fall
Bakugo leans down and puts his arms under your body to carry you to an ambulance. Under his breath, he mutters, “I’m so glad you’re alive.”
» Shoto Todoroki:
Todoroki realizes that he is in love with you when you are patient with him
Most people in Todoroki’s life expect a lot from him, if not way too much. His father expects him to be the perfect hero and successor to him since the day his quirk awoke, UA expects him to always be one step ahead of everyone else and he puts those expectations on himself as well. Even though it is not hard for him to be all those things at this point in his life, having someone around who is patient with him and does not care if he fails or lets himself go from time to time is a relief
Like on most days, Todoroki and you walk home together after class, since you have to go into a similar direction. Most of the time both of you walk in silence or you try making conversation with Todoroki only to be met with silence or short answers
Todoroki knows that he is not the best person to be around at all times, that he does not always get jokes or acts distant with people – he just does not know what to say and how to react to certain things
Having friends is hard for him. Either he overshares about his past or keeps people at a safe distance. Todoroki needs time to figure out this new thing called friendship for himself. Can he even call his classmates friends? Can he call Midoriya, Iida and Uraraka friends? Can he call you a friend? What do you and the others call your relationship from your perspectives?
He has known you for a while now and you walk together every single day and you talk and you text, so you are his friend, right?
“Todoroki?” you catch him a little off-guard. “Hm?” “Would you like to hang out some time?”
He looks up at you and tries reading your expression. A friendly smile, waiting for his answer. It is his decision. You are not deciding for him, you are not demanding anything from him. Not many people have ever asked him to decide things for himself in the past. Everyone always decided in his place, especially when it came to big things like becoming a hero. It is a simple yes or no question over a small thing, yet Todoroki has trouble coming up with an answer
You seem to notice his hesitation. “It’s totally fine if you don’t want to hang out,” you calmly tell him. There is no undertone in your voice, only genuine kindness. “You can take your time deciding, you can take your time getting comfortable with having friends, or even just the idea of it.” Did you have another secret quirk that allowed you to read minds? Todoroki pushed that thought away. “Take your time. I promise that whatever you say, I won’t be mad or hurt by it. Alright?”
Even though you do not say anything to compliment or embarrass Todoroki, he feels himself blushing. Just a little, but he turns his face away to not let you notice. You are patient with him. You want him to be comfortable with you, you do not want to push anything on him. A warm feeling spreads through his body and for a second, Todoroki thinks that he is losing control of his fire quirk, but he quickly realizes that it is something else – something nice and good
“Yes, I’d love that, actually.” “Okay, great! I’ll text you then?” “Yeah.”
The two of you part ways but the warm feeling stays
» Izuku Midoriya
Midoriya realizes that he is in love with you when you comfort him
Whenever something goes wrong during a mission or a patrol, that he goes on during his internship, Midoriya is quick to blame himself for what happened. He himself and everyone around him makes him think that he needs to be a perfect hero even though he is only an intern and a student
It starts with overthinking his steps, replaying the scene in his head again and again, and sometimes even ends in panic attacks. Most of the time he tries to deal with those things alone and disappears in his dorm room, but over time you have learned to see the signs that Midoriya is not doing well and you have been trying to find ways to comfort him
You both sit on his bed as Midoriya talks about what happened earlier. The civilians that got hurt, the villain who got away, his own inability to save everyone and stop the bastard. His voice is weak, tears run down his cheeks and sobs shake his body every now and then
He goes on and on about the mistakes he made until you interrupt him
“Midoriya.” Your voice is soothing yet insistent. “Not everything that happened today is your fault. Maybe even nothing. You are still in training, there are adults who are responsible for you. Putting someone as young as you and me out there is a risk, because we make mistakes. But that’s a way to learn. We learn from our past mistakes and become stronger. The next time you are in a situation like this, you’ll be able to handle it just fine.”
Some more tears run down his face, so you pull him into an embrace. Midoriya appreciates your words. He really does. But for now, he has lost his ability to speak
“You are not alone with this. And it’s not your fault.”
Another choked sob leaves Midoriya. He hugs you back, clings to your shirt and buries his face in the crook of your neck. The way your hands draw patterns on his back soothe him until he eventually stops crying. But he does not want to let go just yet
“Thank you,” he whispers after a while. “Thank you so much.” He is not alone. He knows that he can talk to you about this, about anything. He just wishes he had the courage to open up more often
You stay like this until it gets dark, until all the other lights have gone out. Until everything is silent and Midoriya can only hear your and his own breathing. He feels oddly warm and safe in your arms, so he hopes that you will never get up to go to your room, but he knows that you have to, eventually
Suddenly, one of your hands is on the back of his head, your fingers running through his hair. Midoriya has a hard time stopping himself from leaning into your touch more. “I hope you know that I’m here for you, Izuku.” You never call him by his first name. Midoriya’s heart skips a beat and heat rises to his cheeks. He is glad that you cannot see his face right now because he is sure that it is as red as a tomato
“The same goes for you.” And he wholeheartedly means it
You linger there for another moment before finally pulling away. Midoriya does not want you to, he wants you to stay there, with him, forever. But he cannot have that. Not yet at least. And even though the circumstances that lead to this are not the best, he wishes for this to happen again soon
#midoriya izuku x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#todoroki shouto x reader#midoriya izuku#deku#bakugou katsuki#todoroki shouto#midoriya x reader#bakugou x reader#todoroki x reader#midoriya#bakugou#todoroki#x reader#x you#x yn#x gender neutral reader#bnha x reader#bnha x gender neutral reader
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Edmund Lowry Jr.
Hiya! I've had another idea and wanted to write something for it, too. It’s inspired by / based on that serial killer in RDR2. Feel free to give me feedback or whatever you'd like. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
Pairing: Arthur Morgan x gn!reader
Words: 4.9 k
Summary: You thought it'd be an easy job with a nice prey at the end of the evening, until everything took the wrong turn.
Warnings: angst, mentions of torture but nothing too graphic, kidnapping, thoughts about death but with a happy ending
Finally, some green around you. That was your first thought, after you and the whole Van der Linde gang had arrived in Horseshoe Overlook. It was a lovely camp with a beautiful view. You sure could stay here for a longer period this time, hopefully. The constant moving took a toll on everyone just as much as the running from the law. Before finally settling into your current camp, all of you had to flee from Blackwater. A job there had gone terribly wrong and there was talk about Dutch losing control and shooting a woman. You hadn’t been there at that moment but you just couldn’t imagine that something like this would ever occur. The Dutch you knew would never harm any innocent folks. This escape resulted in an overhasty departure for the mountains – Colter had been the place of refuge up there. It was cold and you almost had no supplies. You generally liked the cold weather and snow but the storm up there you all had to endure was way too much to enjoy it at all. For now, though, you tried to push the negative thoughts away, instead concentrating on your new surroundings.
About a week after all things had been unpacked, you decided to go into the nearest town – Valentine. Dutch was right about all of you needing money urgently and you of course wanted to contribute, too. You saddled your mount up and rode out, but not before telling Karen where you wanted to go. “I’ll check, if I can find anything interesting in Valentine. Do you need something from the store while I’m in town?” you asked her. Her response coming promptly. “Some candies would be nice, would make these days here a lot more enjoyable.” As she concluded her answer, she winked at you earning her a small laugh on your part. After nodding, you spurred your horse and went into town.
The first thing you noticed was the smell, even before you entered the city at all. The second thing was the auction yard. Well, that explains it. No wonder it smells like horseshit everywhere around here, you thought as you entered the city. The people seemed friendly towards you, greeting you here and there. Although, you knew that you shouldn’t get on the town’s bad side. Some of the guys from your camp had caused trouble in the saloon some days ago and let’s just say that they aren’t as welcome in there anymore.
One of the boys was Arthur, your- well, you didn’t know what exactly the two of you were. Back in Blackwater your friendship slowly turned into something more intimidate, even romantic, with it peaking one drunken night around the campfire when you shared your first ever kiss. The sparks flew through the air and you felt like you were on cloud nine, being the happiest you had been in months. Since then, though, it felt like Arthur was avoiding you. Or maybe you were just imagining things. After all, you two hadn’t had much time after all the fighting, shed blood and the running after that. You had a special bond with Arthur like you’ve never had with anyone before – even before your relationship went to some sort of next level. You could communicate without words, understanding the other in more than one precarious situation. Currently, Arthur was away to get Sean back from those bounty hunters – that’s at least what John had told you earlier. You tried to push the thoughts of Arthur to the back of your head, trying to focus on the task at hand – find a lead or somebody to rob.
As you finally arrived at the saloon across the gunsmith, you hitched your horse and entered the facility. You were greeted with warm, liquor-filled air as you headed towards the bar, letting your eyes wander around. Drunk men were an easy prey. Before leaving camp, you had put on nice clothes, that were quite revealing. For you, that was the best way to gather information about anything or to rob someone. You mostly played either the damsel in distress or someone looking for some night company and most of the men fell for it every time, letting you close enough for you to relieve them of their valuables or information. Either was welcome.
After some time, your eyes landed on a stranger, that was looking directly at you. Bingo! You tried to approach him with your best smile. “Hey stranger.” You said, earning you a small smile from him. He had something odd to him. You couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but something about him put you off and gave you goosebumps all over. For now though, you tried to ignore your gut feeling. You were experienced in the things you did on an almost daily basis. Even if he could possibly be some sort of danger for you, you would definitely be able to defend yourself. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time some drunk feller had inappropriate thoughts about you.
“Hey there.” He grinned at you. As you took a real first look at him, the thing you noticed right away were his eyes. You were a firm believer that the eyes displayed the door to the soul and his were just so… dark. Not just the color but also their aura. They had a strange glint to them and there was something deeper hiding behind them. Something bad maybe? Nonetheless, you offered him a drink and ignored your gut feeling again. After all, you wanted your camp members to have something to eat or rob in the future. “You seem lonely tonight. May I offer you a drink and maybe my company?” you asked him while fluttering your lashes. He seemed to think about his response for a moment, before finally saying. “Sure, that would be very kind of you. Thank you. Name’s Edmund Lowry Jr. May I ask yours?” You smiled innocently at him, before telling him a fake name.
Unfortunately, Mr. Lowry declined every further offer of you to buy him another drink. It would make things definitely more complicated if he didn’t want to get drunk. Quickly thinking of a plan B, you ultimately decided that you could just knock him out with the revolver hidden under your clothes if you’d be able to lead him to a more secluded area somewhere outside. He had told you earlier that he was a rich man and owned some land outside of Valentine, so the prey was too rewarding to not at least try to rob him. Although your plan was pretty dangerous, you put it into action by asking him if he’d mind joining you for a small walk outside. “The air in here is really getting to me and I think I need some fresh, new air.” He grinned almost devilish at you, before offering you his arm to lead you outside.
Taking a stroll in the streets, you tried to steer him towards the stables. This terrain was secluded enough for you to hit him and flee without causing much of a scene or getting caught. He guided you towards the fields in the back of the stables, let go of your arm and took a step forward, facing the wide area behind Valentine. This was your moment. With his back to you, you reached under your clothes to grab the revolver but just in that moment he turned rapidly around and pointed towards the theatre. Out of sheer shock your revolver slipped from your hand. Damnit! You tried to drown out the clattering of your weapon with an awkward cough. “My dear” he started and you turned around to follow the direction of his finger. You now stood one step ahead of him and couldn’t see him. “Would you like to visit a show with me?” In that moment you heard him shuffle behind you. Bewildered, you turned around and everything went black.
Arthur came back to camp after successfully rescuing Sean from those bounty hunters in Blackwater with Charles, Javier and Trelawny. He was dead tired and just wanted to eat something and go straight to bed. As he dismounted his horse, he went directly to get some stew and grab a bottle. Along his way, he was greeted with a well done here and there. Arthurs eyes wandered around camp, searching for you but you were nowhere to be found. It wasn’t strange for you to be absent; you often went to look for jobs and therefore were away for some days. Nevertheless, he was a bit disappointed to not be able to talk to you. The both of you hadn’t really had the chance to properly speak, especially not about your situation. He was so goddamn afraid of what was to come, of what you had done to him – he had opened his heart for you unwillingly and wasn’t sure if he could handle another proper relationship. What if you left him? What if one day you woke up and decided that he wasn’t what you wanted anymore. He couldn’t deal with another heart break.
After Arthur finished his stew, he went directly to bed. This night a welcome party for Sean was set to be celebrated and he just wanted to close his eyes a little bit before that. After some hours of more or less peaceful sleep – after all the party was being prepared and people were rummaging everywhere in camp – Arthur finally got up and let his eyes wander around camp in search for you again. “They aren’t here. Karen told me earlier.” Arthur looked to his left from where that characteristic voice came from. “Marston.” Arthur greeted him before John continued. “They went to scout for any leads in Valentine.” Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. Was it really that obvious to others? He decided to play dumb in hopes that he’d eventually be left alone. “I don’t know what you mean. Am not looking for anyone.” John smirked knowingly as he countered. “You know damn well what I’m talking about. Don’t you dare to think I’m stupid. I have eyes, Morgan and I know you pretty well.” Arthur sighed, slightly nodding. “Yeah, whatever.”
The celebration was pretty fun. Almost the whole gang was gathered around the campfire, singing songs away happily. These were the times in which Arthur almost forgot that they were actually running from the law. Of course, they had done that before but it never seemed as bad as it was now. Blackwater left a stain on everyone in one way or another, Colter wasn’t much better for regaining strength. His rock, though, has always been you. Since he’s gotten to know you, you always were able to calm him down, ease his nerves and see right through him no matter how inaccessible he tried to appear. You weaseled your way right into his heart. Although your way of life was a dangerous one, he knew deep down that you two were somehow meant for each other – understanding each other on a level he’s never had with anyone before.
As the night went on, Arthur’s mind always wandered back to you. He just wasn’t able to get you out of his head for even one goddamn night. Soon, he said his goodbyes and went to his tent, writing down his thoughts first before finally retiring to bed. By midday the following day you still weren’t in camp and Arthur started to worry, a bad feeling creeping up on him. Should he go search for you? No one knew how long you’d be gone. But even if you were just at the saloon or wherever it wouldn’t hurt to check in on you. Maybe you two would even be able to spend some quality time together after everything that has happened.
Soon after, Arthur mounted his horse and rode off, shortly after arriving in Valentine. Where should he start to search for you? Maybe the saloon? After all, it was so to say the heart of the town. If here was going on anything, he’d find his answers in there. After arriving at the facility, he immediately recognized your horse. So, they’re here, he thought to himself. Relieved, he finally swung the doors open and headed towards the bar. His eyes roamed the room, but found you nowhere. That struck him odd. You wouldn’t ever leave your horse behind somewhere. Just as Arthur sat down at the bar, the bartender spoke up. “Oh no, not you again mister. I don’t want any more trouble in here.” Arthur sighed, before replying. “I’m not here to cause trouble mister. I’m actually looking for a friend of mine. Have you seen them?” Arthur gave the man behind the bar a brief description of you and looked at him expectantly after he finished. The bartender seemed to think about it for a moment, before saying “Oh my memory isn’t the best, Mister. Maybe a little tip of yours could help it.” Arthur groaned and rolled his eyes while reaching in his bag to throw some coins towards the man behind the bar, adding “Now spit it” with gritted teeth. “Thank you. Well, I have indeed seen them in here. Yesterday they spoke to a man, seemed pretty cozied up, flirting the whole night. They left together, too. Seemed to go towards the hotel.” “Anything else?” Arthur asked. “No, not really. It’s just… That man that was with them yesterday seemed fairly strange. I didn’t have a good feeling with him. I can’t explain it really, but he was rather sinister.” Arthur thanked the man, before heading outside to try and track your footprints. He knew that you wouldn’t go with a man into his hotel room just like that, at least not to actually engage with him. You just weren’t the type for something like this. Hopefully, Arthur could track you down quickly. He didn’t have a good feeling in this.
As you slowly came back to your senses, your head practically screamed at you. It hurt like hell. What happened? You forced your eyes open and although the room was dimly lit, you tried to take in your environment. Where am I? So many questions came crushing down on you all at once as you tried to comprehend what you were seeing around you. While examining your surroundings, your eyes landed on the wall. There were many reports of missing persons. Where the hell am I? Letting your eyes travel further, the next thing they saw was blood. A whole lot of blood. Everywhere. And was that… a corpse in the corner? I need to get out of here immediately. You thought terrified and tried to move, but didn’t get away. You were tied up. God damn it! Your movements seemed to attract the attention of something or someone else in there. So, I’m not alone in here. You didn’t know whether that soothed your nerves or made everything worse. Just in that moment a voice from somewhere near sounded. “Oh good, you’re finally awake.”
Arthur finally arrived near the stables where your tracks ended, your horse in tow as well. Hmm, seems like someone was dragged from here to a horse. He examined the surrounding ground as he suddenly saw something shiny near one of the barrels. As he got closer to the object, his mouth fell slightly agape while his brows furrowed simultaneously. It was your revolver, he recognized it immediately. It had a special engraving he bought you while out in Blackwater. You two had to grab some ammunition for a job beforehand and as you saw the engraving you were thrilled. It looked so pretty. Seeing you all excited, Arthur wanted you to have something nice reminding you of him that you always took with you – no matter where you went. So, it was even more concerning finding it laying here with you nowhere in sight. What happened to you?
You knew that voice. This couldn’t be… Or could it be the man from the saloon? Just as you tried to recall the events from the night before, the man came into sight. You turned your head to look at him, letting your eyes wander from his face further down to his hands. They held something shiny in them. Finally recognizing that it was a huge knife, your eyes widened in shock and you gulped audibly, starring at him blankly. “Lowry.” You managed to get out between gritted teeth, your voice sounding too hoarse to really sound mad. “Welcome to my most favorite place in the world. Save yourself thinking what is about to happen. Now, I’m not going to lie. It’s not going to be nice… and fun. I mean, it will be fun for me, but it won’t be nice for you. At least, no one’s found it nice so far. Maybe you’ll be the first.” Lowry laughed maniacally, before he continued. “Do you like pain? Is it your friend? It’s about to become your very close friend. Very close. But when it’s over…release. Glorious release. Now, there’s no point fighting. You might as well try and relax a little bit.” Lowry approached you slowly, looking almost peaceful while you wanted to scream, scratch his eyes out, just do anythingto escape the upcoming hell awaiting you. As Lowry moved the huge knife slowly closer and closer towards your torso, a thought came to your mind. It was one single thought that hadn’t occurred to you up until now; you weren’t going to make it out alive of here and you wouldn’t ever see your family or Arthur ever again. You were tied up too strong to escape. As the realization hit you, you let your desperate tears fall freely – hopefully he wouldn’t stretch it out too long and you didn’t have to suffer too much.
Arthur had a bad feeling, a really bad feeling about this. Something just wasn’t right. Things weren’t adding up. You’d never leave your two most precious things somewhere voluntarily. Something had happened to you and Arthur was determined to find out what that was, to find you above all. Hopefully alive. He thought to himself but pushed that thought away quickly. He couldn’t stand to think something like this. After all, you could handle yourself pretty well, right? Arthur had seen you many times shoot yourself out of a dicey situation. You were smart, not taking too many risks. But no matter what he knew about you, he knew just as certainly that this time something went the wrong way. He tried to track the hoofbeats up to a door on the ground. Maybe an entrance to a cellar? He thought to himself with his stomach dropping to the floor.
Arthur examined the door closely, eventually discovering the locket on it. He took a steadying breath, before attempting to crack it. His hands were shaking, he was so afraid of what he’d find behind that damn door. Just as he leaned closer towards the door and the lock to start cracking it, he heard a bloodcurdling scream from inside the cellar. Was that your voice? Oh damn, yes, that sounded definitely like you. His first thought was that he’d kill that bastard causing these sounds to escape from your lips. His second thought, though, was Thank God, you’re alive. As he finally was able to enter the room, he could hear heavy panting. He didn’t waste any time looking around, heading straight towards the source of the sounds. As you saw him, your eyes widened, shaking your head frantically. Your mouth was stuffed with some sort of white cloth, so you couldn’t speak to him. This is a trap! You wanted to scream at him. Arthur looked at you with a deep sadness in his eyes – and adoration. You looked like a complete mess. Everywhere on you was blood. Lowry cut along your torso and beat you, resulting in a black eye and a burst open lip. But nonetheless, Arthur had that look on him that he just gave you – a special soft one. It let the tears well up in you even more than before, now crying desperately.
Arthur couldn’t believe it. You were alive, but only barely. You looked like you went through hell and you probably been there for the last hours. How long have you been down here? At that thought, guilt overcame him completely. While he was in camp sleeping, partying with his family, you were being tortured and bearing unspeakable torment. How could he have been so dumb? He should’ve listened to his gut feeling, searching for you earlier. He sprinted towards you and wanted to free you from your bonds, beginning with your mouth. “Are you alright?” He asked you concerned, before looking you up and down for any deep wounds. “It’s- It’s a-“ you tried to answer him, but your throat was sore from all the screaming and the lack of fluids.
Arthur heard something behind him, a slight movement, but enough to cause him to turn around pretty quickly. Too quickly for Lowry, who hadn’t expected that. Lowry stumbled slightly back, hitting the wall with his back. Arthur took advantage of the confusion of his opposer and hit him hard, once, twice. Arthur was so furious. How dare that man to do something like this to you? How dare he touch you at all? All these thoughts were crushing down on him, altogether with his guilt about not being able to protect you. He beat him up, again and again and again. It was almost as if his fists moved alone by now. “Arthur, stop!” He heard your raspy voice, breaking with every syllable and it brought him back to reality. Lowry was knocked out and didn’t move anymore. Arthur shook his head as if shaking all those thoughts off for now. He tied Lowry up quickly, before rushing to you to finally free you for good. As you were finally free, you basically fell in Arthurs arms and just started to cry. It was a mixture of everything – pain, fear, but also relief and gratitude. Arthur helped you up the stairs and lifted you up on his horse. After that he sprinted back to get Lowry and loaded him on your horse and finally mounted behind you in his horse.
The way to the Sherriff’s office was quiet. No one said a word. You were sniffling and resting against Arthurs body with your eyes closed, while he soothingly rubbed circles and held you close so that you wouldn’t slip off his mount. “I’m gonna bring him in and tell the Sheriff where to find that damn cellar and after that, I’ll finally bring you home. Just wait here a second. I’ll be back in a moment.” You nodded slightly, hoping it wouldn’t take too much time. You just wanted to head back to camp and sleep it all off.
After a short time, you heard a shot from the office. Your eyes widened in shock and your heart started to thump heavy in your chest. What was happening in there? After a few moments, Arthur finally came out again. “That bastard tried to kill the Sheriff. I had to shoot him.” You just nodded, sighing relieved, while looking him up and down for any injuries. “I’m fine. Now, let’s get you back home.”
The last few days have gone by in a blur. After you arrived back in camp, Ms. Grimshaw tended to your wounds and you were on a good way. Arthur hadn’t left your side all this time – bringing you stew, a coffee or just keeping you company. He wouldn’t even sleep in his own tent, always staying with you on a chair next to your kot. Today was the first time in days that you felt like you could walk around a bit – and you desperately needed it. Being trapped all those days in camp was making you go crazy. “Arthur, would you mind taking a walk with me?” you asked him. He seemed to contemplate for a moment. Shouldn’t you go easy a few more days and rest? “Arthur, please. I’m gonna go mad if I have to stay here for another day. Just a small walk along the shore. You’re with me, so what could possibly happen to me?” That question stung a bit. He couldn’t protect you before, why were you still feeling so safe with him? Nonetheless, Arthur finally agreed, offering you his arm to support you just in case you felt weaker again.
As the two of you arrived at the little beach, you held tightly onto his arm. You never wanted to let go. Coming to a halt, you two turned to watch the water. So peaceful. “You know...” you started, breathing in and out. “When I was trapped back there in that cellar, I really thought I wouldn’t make it. I thought that the last things I’d ever see would be blood on the walls and that bastards face with that devilish grin. I was so mad at myself for not listening to my gut feeling, for being so goddamn stupid, that I kinda felt like I deserved it. I thought that the last thing I’d hear would be that maniac’s laugh or my own screams. I thought that I’d never see daylight again, flowers, my family or you. Before that happened, I thought you were avoiding me or that you maybe thought that this kiss back in Blackwater was a mistake.” At that his head snapped towards you, watching you intently before you continued. “And I had regrets. Not about the kiss, of course, but about not telling you how I truly felt about you Arthur. I love you; I really do. I couldn’t bear not seeing you again. It broke my heart.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you thought back to your personal hell, Lowry’s most favorite place as he called it. This thought struck a nerve inside you, his voice echoing those exact words. Your tears started to fall freely by now and a chocked sound escaped your mouth. “I really thought I lost you, Arthur. I thought I lost against him. After all this time running, it would be a failed lead that had the power to end me.” You cried and just couldn’t stop. Arthur embraced you, pulling you tightly against him as if he never wanted to let you go again. While holding you like this, he said. “When I came back from rescuing Sean, I was disappointed you weren’t in camp. When you weren’t there for the welcome party I started to worry. But when I saw your horse outside of the saloon and you weren’t nowhere in sight, I panicked and freaked out. I knew you’d never leave him behind. I was so desperate to find you and just so goddamn afraid. Afraid, I’d never see you again. That I’d lost you while I was back at camp relaxing. I wasn’t able to protect you, eating and sleeping while you were being tortured. That image of you tied up, covered in blood just won’t leave my mind. Maybe if I went to look for you earlier, you didn’t have to endure all this. I couldn’t protect you and I’ll never forgive myself for that and I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
You slightly leaned back to look him in the eyes that were filled with so much sorrow and guilt, it made your heart ache. “Arthur” you began, while cupping his cheek with your hand, the other still holding tightly onto him. “This wasn’t your fault, do you hear me? There isn’t any chance in the world you could’ve prevented this. You know I normally can handle myself; it was a job gone terribly wrong. If anything, you saved me. You saved my life – I owe you my life, Arthur. Don’t you dare put this burden on your shoulders. I never asked you to come along with me, I went alone and I knew that something could happen. Believe me, this wasn’t your fault, not at all. Lowry did kidnap me, not you. He mistreated me, not you. He used his knife to hurt me, not you. Even if you had been there earlier, he still would’ve had more than enough time with me alone. Please believe me when I say, that there is nothing I have to forgive you. And there isn’t anything you have to forgive yourself. You couldn’t have changed this in any way. I should’ve listened to my sentiment. He had something strange about him from the beginning. But he told me that he was rich so I went for it nonetheless. “
Arthur still wasn’t fully convinced, but seemed more at peace – at least for the moment. “I really thought I lost you and I never want to lose you again. Back in Blackwater, I was so damn afraid of what we had but now I can’t get into my head how foolish that was of me. I love you, too, so damn much. And if you’ll still have me, would you want to be mine?” You were smiling through your tears, as you nodded and finally kissed Arthur the second time in your life. This time, though, with more certainty than ever before.
#arthur morgan#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan x gn!reader#arthur morgan x you#arthur morgan x y/n#reader insert#mywriting#mine#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#edmund lowry jr.#rdr2 community#rdr2 fanfiction#rdr2 fandom
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time travel aus, amirite? since we’ve all decided to start talking about our ideas, i thought i’d throw my hat into the ring. i’ve actually had this idea for a while, i just wasn’t sure what to do with it because i barely have the patience for one-shots, let alone the continuous plotted longfic this would need
it’s not my idea, of course, i’m incapable of original thought. it’s based off this can-i-really-call-it-a-genre-if-it’s-two-fics-with-the-same-premise where some combination of maedhros, maglor, elros, and elrond land in the blessed realm before - even the unchaining, in my take, when the ambarussa are still children and the world is blissful. it’s more specifically my take on this fic, which takes elrond and elros from very early in their captivity and maedhros from just before the silmaril theft and maglor from several centuries into the second age. i just plugged my own characterisations into it, and, uh. the specific setup this not-genre uses is that maitimo and makalaurë *~mysteriously disappear,~* throwing their extended family into chaos, blah blah blah, and then a few decades later -
well. with my characterisations, we have a nightmare hellbeast who’s burned up everything he used to be in singular pursuit of an unreachable goal and has carved his very self into a weapon, a completely drained beaten-up husk barely cognisant of reality past the screaming in his mind who’s so utterly broken it’s debatable if he even counts as an elda, and two extremely young extremely traumatised children in a completely unfamiliar land- and skyscape whose only adult they can maybe-kind-of trust is currently bleeding from the eyes and shrieking wordless notes of utter despair
yeah, this au’s Fun. elrond and elros have maybe eight words of quenya between them, most of which are obscene, maedhros will act completely normal until he suddenly stabs himself in the arm because can’t this stupid hallucination end already, he has a character arc to tank, and maglor seems completely unaware he’s not still on the beach having the same cyclic arguments with the ghosts of the people he failed. the elves of valinor aren’t completely unprepared to deal with this, at least not the ones who remember cuiviénen, but it’s still a massive shock to see two of the children they came to the land of the gods to protect twisted and scarred like the worst victims of the dark. especially since noone can figure out why
so yeah. i have trouble finishing oneshot collections, so i doubt i’ll ever write this out in full, but i do have a lot of Scenes. fëanáro staring in utter horror at the oath, whispering ‘i made this.’ elros and elrond’s somewhat hole-filled explanation of their backstory devolving into a sindarin argument, and when the family asks tyelkormo what they’re talking about he freezes before saying ‘they’re arguing about whether maitimo killed their mother.’ the moment maglor finally managed to get through what happened after they got the silmarils to maedhros, who immediately switches from off-the-cuff self-harm to well-planned suicide attempts. the five-minute period the family hellspawn’s working theory was ‘they’re maitimo and makalaurë from an alternate universe where we’re evil’ (‘is there an evil version of me??? does he eat kids???????’ - tyelko) finwë going full bulldoze taniquetil in the background. fun times, might write some snippets in the future
but i like to think through the mechanics of this kind of time travel story too much, so i started wondering where maitimo and makalaurë, yanno, went. i quickly came to the conclusion that they probably swapped places with their evil future selves, giving me three time travel aus for the price of one! technically four but (a) i’m not sure if or with who the twins would swap and (b) if they did their alternate selves are probably having a really bad time and i don’t particularly want to think about it. the stories maitimo and makalaurë are in... they’re not necessarily any happier, but they are a lot more wtftastic
maitimo falls asleep under the light of the trees, on a relaxing retreat from the demands of court life and family-induced disasters. he wakes up in a world that’s almost completely dark, surrounded by plants he’s never seen before and wearing clothing designed for a much warmer climate, the scent of death in the air. now permanently separated from all his old problems, maitimo rapidly acquires several exciting new ones, including but not limited to:
everyone he ever loved being dead or worse
the lone possible exception, his last surviving little brother, being an almost unrecognisable blood-drenched kinslayer who hates everything in the universe especially himself
said blood-drenched kinslayer almost immediately imprinting on him like a grouchy murderous duckling
his future self having apparently wanted to kill even more people, why
getting dogpiled by like thirty dudes in full armour the instant they showed up at the army of the west’s camp to surrender
getting soul-scanned by eönw two minutes later. not fun
arafinwë pulling him into an enormous hug and then bursting into tears
the subsequent explanation as to just what happened to him and his brothers, which somehow got worse after he’d already thought they’d hit rock bottom like four separate times
proceeding to lose a staring contest with findaráto
the way everyone in camp looks at him like he’s an incredibly dangerous wild animal that might bite at any time
how if half of what arafinwë said is true he can’t even blame them, fuck, fuck
the twin half-elven(?????????????) princes he and his brother apparently kidnapped and held hostage for years, inflicting unimaginable cruelties as far as anyone knows
his first meeting with the kids happening when elrond broke into where they were holding maglor to scream at him in very loud very fast very angry sindarin for like half an hour
maglor just staring at him, eyes wide, ears pinned back, the whole time, and then trying to maul the first guard who mocked him for it
getting saddled with kinslayer containment duties in the aftermath of that whole incident
elrond punching him in the collarbone when he tried to apologise, shouting ‘you weren’t there, don’t you dare try to tell me what it was like’
elros’ visible half second of pure terror after the blow hit home
elros then using recognisable techniques from maitimo’s debate team circuit during a speech to the edain
like, clearly some shit did happen, but it’s obviously not what the local leadership’s afraid of
this sour-faced scar-covered warrior slipping out of the shadows in an unpopulated part of camp, kneeling before him, intoning ‘the swords of the host remain at your disposal my lord’ and then immediately vanishing
he didn’t recognise them until after they’d left but they were definitely one of his philosophy club friends, what even
just generally having woken up in a future a thousand times worse than his darkest nightmares
his natural instinct is to try and fix things, but how?? what’s even left to fix????
maglor sometimes goes into these unhinged desperate spiralling rambles directed at the older brother who exists in his head rather than the one in front of his eyes. whatever’s left of maitimo’s biggest little brother is clearly in so much pain
all the things he’s trying extremely hard not to think about because if he slows down enough to he’s pretty sure he’ll collapse
all the people he’s never met who hate him for pretty understandable reasons and whose social structure he now has to learn to have any hope of making it out of All This
the edain’s collective insistence on calling him pasthros
curufinwë isn’t even a hundred how does he have a kid
makalaurë, on the other hand, wakes up on a beach beneath a giant glowing orb. finding himself in a land so much barer than what he knows, among people whose souls don’t even work like his, his initial working theory is he’s been abducted by aliens
#silmarillion#my terrible fic#maedhros#maglor#elrond#elros#house of feanor#suicide ///#self harm ///#or in other words#late stage feanorians#other mental images include:#nelyo getting stupidly drunk with a bunch of edain enablers#random human fisherman: better not go out to the shore by night. there's a wandering spirit that sings of death and devours souls#kano: wow. you got a lot of those around here or#nelyo and kano glowing like beacons (they were just in the treelight after all) and constantly being surrounded by curious humans#nelyo talking the elro twins into talking to earendil while they still have a chance#galadriel: how dare you show your face around here kinslayer!!!#kano: ... wait are you artanis#he subsequently meets elrond and then serves as a sounding board for elrond's maglor issues#elrond: you know you act a lot like he did when he was blatantly faking being happy#kano: ... WELP#honestly i do feel like nelyo hangs out more with the edain than the other elves#for fun at least. he is bodily dragging mags into lorien he's never going to see these people again ever#as for the political situation... bless him he's trying#idk how all these aus interact i suspect there's divergent timelines involved#one last image:#seeing as how if he continues how he is everyone and everything he's ever loved will burn and die#feanaro steels himself up for the impossible#making up with nolofinwe
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come back (be here)
part one of upstead: but make it taylor swift
summary: I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way (or: hailey is in new york and jay misses her more than you could ever imagine). read on ao3
…
and this is when the feeling sinks in, I don't wanna miss you like this,
come back...be here,
come back...be here
I guess you're in New York today, I don't wanna need you this way,
come back...be here,
come back...be here
taxi cabs and busy streets,
that never bring you back to me,
I can't help but wish you took me with you
this is falling in love in the cruelest way,
this is falling for you and you are worlds away,
in New York, be here
~ come back...be here by taylor swift
…
day one
It had been 12 hours since Jay dropped her off at the airport, 12 hours since she gave him a teary smile and jumped out of the cab, 12 hours since he watched her disappear behind the glass doors, and it felt like it had been forever.
He walked in the district with a new darkness looming over his head, he felt like a storm cloud was following him around. It had only been 12 hours, but he already felt like the life had been sucked out of him. He loved his job, he loved his team, but there was something missing and he couldn’t shake it. He wasn’t sure he would until she was sitting in front of him again.
As he climbed the stairs to the bullpen - ignoring the knowing look from his desk sergeant - he gave the room a once over. It was like he was taken back in time. The familiar feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he ascended the stairs alone, it had been many years since he felt a similar sense of loneliness.
Erin was an afterthought now, but in that moment he felt like a child again. The same dumb kid who lied and slept with his “informants,” who always took it too far and leaped before he even thought to look. He hadn’t been that person in a long time, not since Hailey. He still leaped but now he had someone who took the jump with him and she always made sure that he looked first. There was part of him that was scared with her gone, he would have no one to keep him from falling off the deep end.
“Earth to Halstead.” He heard and then was startled by a hand waving in front of his face. He picked his head up out of his hands and laid back into his chair, feigning a stretch. “You good man? You look like death.” It was Kevin, who had a tiny smirk on his face.
Jay nodded, chuckling nervously. “Yeah, uh, just didn’t sleep well.”
Kim stifled a laugh across the room, Vanessa gave him a knowing look and Adam shook his head, leaning on his desk. “Yeah, okay…” He waltzed across the room to Jay and Kevin, motioning to Hailey’s empty desk, “She have an okay flight?” He asked, knowing that Jay knew.
It caught him off guard, he wasn’t lying about not sleeping well, but he didn’t say that it was because he stayed up all night waiting for Hailey to say that she made it safely to her hotel. He nodded, “Yeah, she landed at like 3:00 this morning, said the room they put her up in was nice.”
“Good,” Kevin said, nudging Jay’s shoulder. “Glad they are taking care of our girl.” The words made Jay crack a smile, the first one since he had bid Hailey goodbye the night before.
He glanced at the empty desk again, picking up his phone and snapping a picture of it. He clicked on his partner’s contact info and drafted a text.
Jay: My pens miss you.
It was short, and could be taken as sweet, but it was still enough to make his heart beat a little faster as he hit send. The nerves started to set in immediately after he flipped his phone over. Everyone in the room knew that Hailey would reach across their computer screens to steal a pen or pencil whenever she needed, hers were lost as soon as she got them: whether they had fallen from behind her ear or were dropped on the floor. She never had one, but Jay found himself worried that she would think it was a little weird that he had noticed all those things too.
His phone buzzed against the fake wood not long after, and he turned it over a little faster than he would like to admit.
Hailey: I miss them too, you buy the good kind.
A grin across his face as soon as he read it, and he coughed out a subtle laugh. For a second - only a second - he let himself pretend they weren’t talking about pens, but they were.
Jay: Have a good day :)
Her response came almost immediately.
Hailey: You too Jay :)
He leaned back in seat, sighing. It wasn’t the same as watching her from across their desks or clearing a scene together, or even just hearing her voice. But, it was the first day, he needed to pace himself. There would be plenty of time to miss her, and for now, this was enough.
day two
Jay poured himself another cup of coffee, he hadn’t been able to focus all day. He was telling everyone else that he had a headache, but he knew it was from Hailey’s words still ringing in his head.
“I miss the wind, and you.”
It was literally all he could think about since their conversation early that morning as they both walked into work - unfortunately - 800 miles apart. He would admit, it was much better than his lonely walk into the district the day before, it was almost like she was with him, but not close enough.
He took a big sip of his coffee, pinching the bridge of his nose (okay, so maybe he really did have a headache). The bullpen was buzzing, everyone else seemingly unaffected by his partner’s absence. He made his way back towards his desk, dodging Kevin, who scored against Adam in their game of trashketball (their favorite pass times on slow days).
“You wanna play the winner?” Kevin asked, stepping back for Adam to make a free throw (Kim called a foul).
Jay shook his head, “Nah man, I’m good.” He stood over her desk, staring down at the stack of files that were left there. She was gone in such a hurry that she didn’t even get the chance to clean it off. He picked up the one on top, pretending to read it.
“Hey,” He heard from behind him. He flinched, spinning to face the brunette behind him. “You good?” Vanessa asked.
Jay sighed, “Uh, yeah, just looking at Hailey’s paperwork. It needs to be filed.” He threw the folder back down and leaned against it. “I just hope it’s done.” He joked weakly.
Vanessa looked down at the pile and smirked at him, laying a hand over the top. “I’m sure it is, it’s not like Hailey to leave unfinished business.” Jay didn’t dare raise his gaze to look at her, he knew there was shock written all over his face. Not that he should be surprised, it wasn’t like Vanessa to beat around the bush.
Maybe he was reading into things, but he was almost 100% sure they weren’t talking about paperwork. He laughed it off, “Yeah, she always finishes before me and then proof reads mine. She doesn’t trust me to do it right.”
The brunette shook her head, chuckling with him. She shrugged, “Or maybe it’s just an excuse to spend time with you.” With that she waltzed into the break room, throwing a wink over her shoulder at a stunned Jay.
He wasn’t one to talk about his feelings (or really even acknowledge them) and the thought of being as open as Vanessa had just been was making him want to vomit. It was so easy for her to throw that at him - that Hailey likes spending time with him - why was it so hard for him to say it? It’s not like he didn’t know, she did too, they were each other’s favorite people. It had just ever been said so directly.
His feet carried him faster than his brain could catch up and he followed Vanessa, closing the door behind him. “What Jay?” She asked, without even turning around.
Jay took a breath, he hadn’t really thought about what to say here, but he needed something. It had only been two days, but he was going crazy. He missed her like crazy. “You are being cryptic.”
“Actually,” Vanessa said, turning to face him. “I’m being the opposite of cryptic.”
Jay shook his head, “Really? I don’t think so. I just feel like I’m reading into what you are saying or that you are implying something-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there, before you completely eat your own foot.” She smiled softly, “I’m not implying or saying anything Jay. I’m just saying that it’s okay to miss her and it’s okay to worry about her, she’s your partner. You’ve got to have her back.” She winked at him and headed for the door, “Just, don’t be afraid to tell her that. Tell her what you are feeling.”
After she left the room, Jay let out a sigh. He muttered under his breath, “And she says she’s not being cryptic.” But, even if Vanessa was talking in riddles, she was right. He pulled out his phone and clicked on her name.
Jay: Just so you know, I miss you too. A lot.
The typing bubble appeared on the screen seconds later.
Hailey: Me too. A lot.
day three
The third day was Tuesday, which was the day that he and Hailey normally had off, just not from each other. They would meet at her place at eight and go to the gym together then grab breakfast, then from there it was a toss up depending on each of their days. However, almost every time they ended up at the shooting range. Today was no different.
Jay left his apartment 10 minutes later than normal, arriving at their gym alone at 8:15. It was weird walking in alone. Sure, he went to workout plenty without her, but never on a Tuesday, never at that time of day and never at that gym. There was one right around the corner from his apartment, but Hailey was weird about working out in front of people and she felt more comfortable on her own, so he just got another membership. He never really thought anything of it.
Not until now, walking into Hailey’s gym alone felt wrong. But, what felt worse was that it hadn’t even accrued to him to just go to his own. No, Tuesday’s were different, and he liked them. He just wasn’t sure if he liked them without her.
He walked in, ran several miles on the treadmill and had moved to the weight station when a random girl approached him. He continued his reps as he noticed her making her way towards him. “Hey macho,” She said, smiling brightly, “You mind spotting me?”
Jay looked around him - he was kind of in the middle of something - but he didn’t really mind. So, he shrugged and set his weight down before following her.
She laid down on the bench and positioned herself under the metal bar, signaling to Jay to help her lift it off. She lowered it slowly, taking a breath before pushing it back up, “So,” She huffed, “Where’s your girlfriend?”
Jay’s eyebrows laced together, “I don’t have a girlfriend.” He said matter of factly.
“Then who is that blonde girl you are always here with?” She asked, starting to struggle at pushing the bar back up.
Jay realized two things. One: this girl had been watching him for a bit and decided to make a move when his “girlfriend” wasn’t around. That’s off putting. And two: she thought Hailey was his girlfriend, and that made him smile. “That’s my partner, I’m a cop. Detective really.”
He caught the bar with ease as she lost steam, watching her cautiously as she sat up. “Good to know.” She grabbed her water bottle from beside the bench and gave him a smirk, “Thank you.” Jay gave her a short nod before retreating back to his bench, he was ready to be done and get out of there.
About 30 minutes later, Jay walked into the locker room to grab his bag from his locker, when he got there, there was a note taped to the door.
If that really isn’t your girlfriend, give me a call ;)
~ Maddie (xxx-xxx-xxxx)
Jay peeled it off and shook his head before grabbing his grab, tossing it in the trash as he left the room. He made his way to his truck, figuring he had time to shower at home before heading to the shooting range. He and Hailey hadn’t been in a few weeks, and he was due for recertification (honestly, he didn’t even know why they bothered, he got a perfect score everytime).
About an hour later he was on his way there, and the familiar drive felt strange coming from a different place. If he was being honest, everything felt strange.
When he pulled in the parking lot, he parked in his normal spot and jumped out. It was almost never busy at 10 on a Tuesday. He looked up and took in the sign out front The Old Chicago Range, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture, sending it to Hailey.
Jay: Be jealous :)
As he pulled the door open, he met familiar faces. That was their favorite thing about this place. He would admit, maybe a shooting range isn’t exactly the kind of family business you would want to pass down, but it had worked for the owners. The same four men had been working there for the past three years, and long before Hailey and Jay started going there. The place was relatively small, but they were always in great company. It was owned by 2 brothers and their cousins, whose fathers had passed it to them. All of them were ex-military or retired CPD officers, so Jay felt right at home.
“Jay!” One of the brothers, Robbie, said from behind the counter. He jumped out of his seat and rounded it to shake Jay’s hand.
Jay took it, squeezing it firmly, the way they were both taught. “Hey Rob, good to see you.”
The older man headed back towards the computer, “Same as always?” He asked.
He almost said yes, but then he realized Hailey wasn’t getting their guns out of the truck. “No, uh, just me today.”
Robbie looked up, it seemed a little dramatic, but they had never come without each other before. “Oh, is everything alright?”
Jay quickly jumped in, “Yeah, Hailey is just on assignment in New York, she’ll be back soon.” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted saying them. Would she be back soon?
“Well good,” Robbie said. “You wanna go try out the new glock?”
“Hell yeah.”
Jay followed Robbie through the narrow hallway and to the back where the actual indoor range was, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket.
Hailey: Don’t worry, I am
Hailey: Are you taking your side partner to our place??
Jay chuckled to himself, trying to control his heartbeat. Our place. Their place. He liked the thought of that, a lot.
Jay: No, never
Hailey: Good
Hailey: Don’t have too much fun without me
Jay: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to send you a picture of my perfect score
Hailey: Yeah ok whatever
They made it to the window and Jay was about to put his phone away when it buzzed again.
Hailey: Text me when you’re done
Jay: I will
He smiled bigger, ignoring Robbie’s and now his brother Tim’s sideways glances. He picked up the headphones and secured them, taking the gun in his hand and watched the marker slide back to the other end of the room. Jay raised the gun and fired the first shot, picturing what he always did.
When he was in Ranger training and long after, they were taught to kill with no remorse. That was their job: to take out the enemy to save the masses. But, Jay had never been good at taking a life, innocent or not. They had trained them to have no emotional attachment, they were going after combattants, terrorists, truly horrible people in the eyes of all soldiers, but it didn’t matter. Jay had a big heart, even if he didn’t show it, so he came up with his own way to cope.
Maybe it was unhealthy, but every time he had to shoot his gun overseas, he would imagine that his mom’s life was at risk, that she was the one in danger, not him or anyone else. And that made it easier, in the moment, at least. Somewhere along the way, he stopped imagining his mom and he started imagining Hailey. She was something that he would protect at all costs, no questions asked.
When he finished, the marker slid forward so he could see, and much to his surprise, he scored a 99. Something that hadn’t happened since before Erin left, he was stunned. Jay didn’t care about the score, but something deep in his chest was making him squirm. Was he really this much of a mess without her?
When he got back to his truck a little while later, he pulled out his phone, texting his partner.
Jay: You missed out, the new glock they got in is a beauty
Hailey: I’ll have to try it when I get back
Jay took a deep breath, she’s coming back, she’s coming back, she’s coming back. Even she knows that, why couldn’t he get that through his head.
Jay: For sure
Hailey: So, no score gloating?
Jay: Not today, I got a 99
Hailey: WHAT
Hailey: That’s never happened
Jay: Yeah, I know
Jay: Something was missing.
day four
Jay poured over the set of photos and stacks of reports for the third or fourth time, he didn’t find anything, but there was no way he wasn’t missing something. He needed another set of eyes, he needed Hailey’s eyes.
It was just him and Trudy left, not that Trudy ever really went home when Mouch was on shift, everyone else had taken their frustration over the case in stride and gone home, but Jay couldn’t let it go.
They were stuck on a string of robberies involving department stores, with multiple casualties, some of them kids. They just couldn’t find the connection between the stores. They were scattered all across the district, sold different things and nothing specific was ever stolen. And the crew, they were ruthless, they didn’t care who got hurt, if they were in the way, they were taken out.
Jay heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, perking up in his seat. It was Trudy with a white takeout box in her hand. “Serge.” Jay said, smiling, “Have I told you lately that you’re my favorite person in the world?”
“Haha,” Trudy laughed, giving him a faked stink eye. “No you have not, but it’s a good thing Upton’s not here to hear you say that.” She joked.
She watched Jay’s face fall immediately, “Good thing.” He said with a forced smile.
Trudy sat the box down on his desk and perched herself on Hailey’s empty one across from him. “You miss her don’t you?” She asked, a small smirk playing on her lips.
Jay sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Of course I do.” He said, the words tumbling out of his mouth with ease. Trudy’s smirk grew and Jay just shrugged, “She’s my partner.”
Trudy stood, taking in the man that she had watched grow so much. She couldn’t explain the amount of pride she felt when she thought of the men and women in intelligence. She and Mouch didn’t get the chance to have their own children, so she always saw Hank’s unit as her own little family. She was proud of Jay especially, he had turned into an incredible cop and an even better man. She rested a hand on his shoulder, “Yeah, I know.” She sighed, “Go home soon okay? Get some sleep.”
“Yes ma’am,” He said, squeezing her hand. As Trudy headed for the stairs, Jay watched her go. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but Trudy became someone that he could really count on. And she was the closest thing he had to a mom, and he really needed his mom right now. “Hey Trudy.” He called and she spun around.
“Yeah,” She said.
Jay shook his head a bit, his voice coming out quiet, “She’s coming back right?”
Trudy was taken aback by Jay’s forwardness, and she wished she had an answer for him, but she didn’t. The feds had a way of holding on to good people, and Hailey was the best. But for all their sakes, especially his, she hoped Hailey would come home, despite the fancy suits, despite the better pay and the sleek and shiny offices, she hoped she would choose Chicago. But she couldn’t really say that to Jay. “She better, she owes me a bottle of Tequila.”
That got Jay to laugh a bit, looking down at his desk as he smiled, remembering the bet that Hailey lost one day when they were all Tailgating a few months before, she had yet to pay up. “Yeah, she does. Thanks Serge.”
“Anytime,” Trudy said, “Goodnight Chuckles.” She joked, and then she was gone.
Jay set the box to the side, no longer feeling like eating. His stomach was in knots. He returned to his previous position, pouring over the files once again. He couldn’t figure out what he was missing.
He caught sight of his phone on his desk, making a split second decision and calling his partner. She answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hey,” He said, just enjoying hearing her voice for a moment. He snapped out of it, “How’s working with the feds?” Is it wrong that a small part of him wanted her to say that she hated it.
“Good.” She said quickly. “Different, but good.” Jay heard a door click over the line. “Actually, you have great timing. I was getting off the elevator when you called me.”
Jay glanced at the clock on his monitor, it read 12:04. “Damn, that’s late.”
“Yeah, anyway. What’s up?” She asked. Suddenly, Jay felt bad asking her for help, she had just finished her day and she probably needed sleep. “Jay?”
“Oh, uh, I was just gonna ask for your opinion on a case, but you need sleep. I’ll let you-”
“No.” Hailey said, cutting him off. “I’m wired, I won’t be able to sleep, it’s been a crazy night. What do you need?”
Great. A crazy night. They were probably doing a big raid or something else with their big budget and fancy tech stuff. And Hailey was probably really good at it. “I just can’t find the connection between the stores in this string of robberies. People are dying, we’re running out of time.”
“Do you have the digital files?” She asked.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, send them to me. I’ll call you back.”
Jay did what he was told and not even five minutes later, she called him back. But this time, it was a facetime notification. Jay cautiously slid it open, immediately taking in Hailey’s appearance. She had her phone propped up facing her as she sat on a bed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with her computer in lap. “Hey.” Jay said, propping his up on his monitor.
“Hey.” She said back, smiling her big, bright, Hailey smile that he didn’t realize he missed so much. It had only been four days, he really needed to pull it together. They stared at each other for a moment, before Hailey visibly tensed. “So, run me through the facts.”
So he did, he talked her through the case while she looked through photos and reports. Jay was hoping that he would think of something as he explained it all, but he didn’t.
After a few minutes or silence, Hailey spoke up, “Did you check the security companies?”
“Yeah, they all use different ones.” He said.
“Ok,” Hailey said, “Wait, check and see if there is some sort of backing. Like a mother company or something.”
Jay typed for a while before shouting, “Bingo!” He smiled at her through the phone, “Hailey, you got it. They are all financed partially by Graham Consolidated, a big tech company.”
“Perfect, so what do you think? Personal vendetta against the CEO/Company and they are coming after it’s partners? Maybe it’s Graham’s way of completely taking over the smaller companies?” Hailey said, throwing out ideas.
Jay shrugged, a smile still on his face. “I don’t know, but now I have a place to start. Thank you.”
“Of course, anytime.” She said. There was a beat. “I really miss you guys, I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s different here.”
“We - he should have said I - miss you too.” He couldn't help himself, “Different, as in bad?”
Hailey shrugged, trying to find the words, “I don’t know, it’s just more structured. More rules potentially break, but -” She stopped for a second, taking him in and deciding if she really wanted to tell him this. She didn’t want him to look at her any differently. “- maybe that was the point, I guess it need it.”
She needed it? How could he compete with that? Maybe she was reconsidering her decision, it had only been four days. Jay smiled weakly, “Well, they are lucky to have you.” He said, genuinely.
“Thanks.” She said softly, looking a little disappointed. Had she wanted him to tell her that she better come home? Does she want him to tell her he couldn’t live without her? No way, he couldn’t. A job with the FBI is a big deal, and Hailey was definitely on the path of being offered one. He couldn't get in the way of that.
Jay took a breath, “I should go. I’ve got lots to do.” He said, forcing a smile.
“Yeah, ok.” Hailey said, “Goodnight Jay, go home soon.”
“Goodnight Hailey.” Come home soon.
day five
“Contrary to popular belief Jay, your body is not bulletproof.” Will said, pressing the bandage flush against his brother's arm.
Jay rolled his eyes, sighing, “It barely grazed me, there won’t even be a scar…”
Will huffed, standing straighter and glaring at his brother, he looked at Kim who was standing in the corner of the room. “Hey Kim, when was the last time Jay got shot?”
Kim feigned inquiry, tapping her chin with her finger. “Oh, I don’t know, not even six months ago?” She said, a bit too aggressively.
“You guys are being dramatic. I’m fine.” Jay insisted.
“Jay!” Will snapped, “You have gotten shot twice in the past six months. Three times in two years! That’s not normal!” He was obviously frustrated, running his hand through his hair. He didn’t understand what Jay didn’t get, they were all each other had. “You’re not bulletproof, you’re like a damn bullet magnet.”
Jay held up his hands, “Ok, now you’re being ridiculous -” He was cut off by his phone buzzing on the bed next to him, he picked it up glaring at his brother and temporary partner. The ID ready Hailey Upton. “Which one of you told?” He snapped. Will and Kim both held their hand up in surrender before backing out of the room to give Jay some privacy, neither of them had spilled the beans. Jay sighed, hitting the green button and answering. “Hey.”
He was expecting her to scream at him, to be angry, but instead, “Thank God you’re okay.” She sighed out, Jay was taken aback.
“Yeah Hailey, I’m okay.”
He heard her soft sniffles over the line. Had she been crying? He felt a pang of guilt in his chest at the thought. “I just got back to the office and I had a text from Adam that just said “Jay got shot” and he wasn’t answering and all I could think about was last time, and -” She stopped herself, taking a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter, I-I was just worried.”
“I’m fine, I promise.” Jay said calmly, sensing her panic even 800 miles away.
“Okay,” She said, sounding defeated. “What happened?”
Jay shrugged, immediately regretting it. He would never admit it out loud, but his arm was really sore. “It was a run of the mill shoot out, I just jumped out of the way too slow. It just grazed my arm, there was barely any blood.” That was a lie, there was a lot of blood. He had to change his clothes, they were pretty much ruined.
He wasn’t sure what he was trying to do by omitting how bad it could have been, maybe he was protecting her, but he couldn’t bear her blaming herself for this. He knew he would. If he was stuck in New York and Hailey got hurt in Chicago without him there to back, he would blame himself too. “Which arm?” She asked quickly.
“Left.” He sighed out, hoping that maybe she would ignore it.
“Jay!” She shouted, “You aren’t even done with PT for your left shoulder!”
“Hailey.” He said, only slightly mocking her, “The bad guys don’t have a copy of my line of duty injuries report.”
He heard her stifle a laugh and he smiled to himself. Bingo. He knew she wasn’t really mad at him, she was just worried. He would have reacted the exact same way. “Okay, fair enough. But, seriously, you have to be more careful.” There was a beat, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Jay literally felt his heart stop in his chest. He didn’t know what he would do without her either, and this was the closest he ever wanted to be to finding out. “Hailey, you won’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere.”
Hailey sighed audibly, “You can’t promise me that.”
“No, but I can sure as hell try.” He joked.
That earned a laugh from her, causing a small smile to grace his face. “Yeah, you better.” They sat there in silence for a while, finding comfort in only the assurance of the other one's presence. “Don’t scare me like that again.”
“I won’t Hailes.” Jay couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about this felt different than the last time. He thought back to the day he was released, what his phone had interrupted. It seemed kind of ironic how they were having all of their important conversations that way now. The words were different, but the rest was the same. The pain in her voice, the fear, it made everything all too real. It terrified him, because maybe - just maybe - she needed him just as much as he needed her.
Maybe there was a chance for them after all.
day six
By the next night, Jay was so exhausted that he was sure he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. His arm was still sore and he had slept terribly the night before. The shooting, however minor it was, had done a number on him. Nightmares of Hailey being shot plagued his mind all night long.
He had just turned out his light when his phone buzzed on the bedside table, he silently prayed that they hadn’t caught a case. When he flipped it over, he saw it wasn’t from his boss, but from his partner.
Hailey: Facetime?
Jay was a little embarrassed by how fast he clicked the call button, all his tiredness being thrown out the window, but he would be a fool to waste her forwardness. She picked up on the first ring. “Eager aren’t we?”
Jay was going something clever back, but he was startled by how beautiful she looked in the shitty hotel lighting. He reached over and switched his lamp on, pretending not to notice the shocked look on Hailey’s face when she realized he was shirtless. However, her gaze didn’t shift away. “See something you like, Upton?”
Hailey smirked, taking his jab in stride, “What if I say yes?”
Jay smiled big. Was she flirting with him? “Then I would tell you that I see something I like too.”
Hailey blushed and Jay’s grin grew three sizes, he wanted to make that happen again, and again, and again. “Good to know.” Her expression softened when she noticed the bandage on his left arm, “How’s your arm?”
Jay shrugged, “Sore, but fine.” She didn’t look convinced. “Hailey, look at me.” She lifted her gaze from her lap, to his eyes on the screen. “I’m okay.”
She nodded, “Good.”
“Is everything okay?” He asked, not that he didn’t enjoy it, but he was a little confused on why she had asked him to facetime out of the blue.
She nodded again, “Yeah actually, everything’s great...I just miss you.”
“I miss you too Hailes.” He wasn’t exactly sure when he started calling her that, but he liked it a lot. It felt special, like a step forward. “Have you heard anything about coming home?” He knew it was a loaded question, but he was practicing self preservation. If she was changing her mind and staying, he needed time to prepare, no matter how unlikely it was.
Hailey shrugged, “I don’t know, at least a few more weeks. The girl whose spot I’m in is deep undercover, so we don’t exactly have a timeline.”
“Okay.”
“I hope it’s soon though, if that counts for anything.” She said quietly.
“It does,” Jay said, letting out a breath. “A lot actually.”
“I need to come home, I don’t know how much more of this wheat thin style pizza I can take.”
Jay laughed out loud, “Oh I get it, you don’t miss me, you just miss deep dish.”
“Finally, it took you long enough.” She said, joking with him. Jay pressed a hand to his chest, feigning being offended. Hailey grinned, rolling over on her side and resting her phone against the pillow next to her. “Shut up, you know I miss you.”
Jay smiled softly, giving her a small nod of understanding. He did know she missed him, and he missed her like crazy too. He looked into her bright blue eyes, “I wish you took me with you.” He said.
He could tell he caught her off guard, the shocked expression on her face said it all, and he almost regretted saying it, but not quite. He meant it with his whole heart. “Me too.” She said finally. “OA’s great, but...but he’s not you Jay.” She shook her head, smiling softly to herself. “There’s no one else like you.”
Jay’s heart was pounding in his chest at her words, he was half convinced he was dreaming. “Well that’s good, there’s only enough room for one partner in your life, and I intend on keeping the spot.”
“You better,” She said, staring at him shamelessly. “I don’t want anyone else.”
“I don’t want anyone else either.” In any way, he thought.
“Come to New York.” She said quickly, a nervous expression crossing her face for a split second as he watched her realize what she just said.
Jay cocked an eyebrow, “What?” He breathed out.
“Come to New York.” She said again, this time with more confidence.
“Are you sure?” He asked, and it felt like the simple question meant so much more. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you want me there? Are you sure that you want me too?
Hailey nodded, “Yes. Buy the ticket Jay.” She said, “Be here.”
“Okay.”
day seven
Jay felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest as he walked to baggage claim.
The last 12 hours had been quite the whirlwind. He had texted Voight immediately after he hung up with Hailey asking for the next day off. Thankfully he had said yes, and Jay booked the next flight that wasn’t full. It left O’Hare at 12:15 the next day.
He couldn’t believe what he was doing, flying to New York to see Hailey. It had only been a week and he was buying an overpriced plane ticket? He really did have it bad.
It wasn’t lost on him how familiar the situation was, losing a partner, a friend, someone he loved to the city, to the FBI even. He knew the feeling well, but his walk through the crowded terminal proved to him just how much things had changed. He never bought a ticket to see Erin, not after a week, not after a month, never. The thought never really even crossed his mind. She was gone and that was that, time to move on. But not with Hailey.
Hailey was different, the thought moving on, the thought of forgetting her ripped through him like a knife. He wasn’t sure he’d survive without her. And even though it had only been seven days, he was ecstatic to see her. He missed watching her blonde ponytail swing as she walked, he missed her telling him his handwriting sucked, he missed never having any pens, he missed her laugh, her voice, her smile (well that he had seen, but it’s not the same). He missed everything about her.
His flight landed around three, and he was meeting Hailey at her hotel. She had told the front desk to leave him a key to let himself in, and that she would be there as soon as she could. She couldn’t exactly ask for time off when she had only been there a few days.
Jay had decided on the plan that he was going to tell her how he felt, he owed it to himself to put himself out there again, and he couldn’t pretend that she was just his partner anymore. They both knew that they were more than that. However, when he made that decision, he thought he was going to have hours to decide what he was going to say. Not the 30 seconds it was going to take to walk over to the petite blonde woman holding a sign that read Jay Halstead.
He was taken aback, letting his mouth fall open as he stifled a laugh. She had surprised him. He was barely ten feet away when Hailey abandoned her sign and ran to wrap her arms around him. The closest that had been to each other since he had tackled her down in the surveillance van, almost a year before. “Hi Jay.” She said, her voice loud and clear without the static in between them.
“Hi Hailes.” He said, hugging her tightly to him. Definitely something he could get used to.
Eventually - and much to his dismay - she took a step back, nervously pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “How was your flight?” She asked.
“Good, went by fast.” Not true, it was painfully slow, the anticipation was too much. “Thanks for picking me up.” He said.
“Of course. What are partners for?” She joked, rocking back and forth on her heels.
Jay laughed, “I don’t think Kim would ever pick me up from the airport.”
Hailey shrugged, smirking, “I guess it’s a good thing that she’s only your temporary partner then. I’m obviously the better one.”
“Yeah, you are.” Jay tried not to show his disappointment on his face, but he was really starting to hate the word partner. It was just a constant reminder that that was all he was, her partner. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, he wasn’t someone to daydream about passionate first kisses in airports or running down a terminal to greet someone, but for some reason he thought that now was their moment. Maybe he was wrong.
Jay watched at Hailey’s face mirroring his own, realizing he was thinking the same thing she was. Won’t he just say it already. But she knew him better than that, she knew that he was too stuck in his own head to ever say what he was really feeling. He could never find the words to describe it, and that had been what was different all week. The 800 miles between them gave him an edge, something to use to keep her at an arm's length but still let her in. He was the most open he had ever been about his feelings with her this past week, and she wasn’t ready for that to be over. She never wanted it to stop.
So, she did the only thing she could. “Jay,” She said quietly, taking a step forward. “You have to know that it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you as just my partner.”
It took him a moment to process what she said, but once he did, he swept down and pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to hers. Her hand cupped his neck as he gently held her up, a hand snaking around her waist. There they were, having a passionate first kiss in the middle of baggage claim, no doubt scandalizing everyone around them, but they didn’t care. All that mattered was each other.
Hailey pulled away breathless, resting her forehead against his. “I missed you so much.” She said quietly, wiping the stray tear that had fallen off her cheek. She was feeling a little overwhelmed by her emotions.
Jay smiled, leaning down to kiss her once again. “I missed you too, so much.” He pecked her cheek, making her smile. “I never want to miss you like that again, especially now.” She eyed her suggestively.
Hailey laughed against his chest, “Just a few more weeks.”
“It’s not fair,” He said quietly, running his thumb over her cheek, “That I have to leave tomorrow, after this.”
“Well,” Hailey said, intertwining their hands, “That's tomorrow's problem.”
“I like the way you think.” He said.
Hailey reached up, kissing him gently, “Then let’s get out of here.”
The two of them walked out of JFK hand in hand, hailing a taxi and climbing in together. The action was foreign, and so was the city, it wasn’t what either of them wanted. But being there together, even if it was just for a day, it felt like home.
…
A/N: Oh My Gosh I have been working on this fic for SO LONG and I am so so so happy to have finally finished it. If you haven’t guessed, my new series will be writing Upstead (and possibly other OC couples) as T'S songs because some of them for SO FREAKING WELL! Come back...be here is a bonus track off of red that I found a few weeks after 8x03 aired, and this fic has been a WIP since then, you don’t understand how excited I am to write these! Thank you SO MUCH for reading! Hope you enjoyed <3
taglist: @anniesardors @joy-meathiel @stephanie708 @carissalizz @snowwhite013 @imjustwritingg @benharmonsupremacy @angelsjedi @onechicago-upsteadrhekker
#jay halstead#hailey upton#upstead#upstead but make it taylor swift#upstead fic#kim burgess#vanessa rojas#kevin atwater#trudy platt#adam ruzek#will halstead
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it will come back [pt. 1] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader
Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 2] [Part 3]
A/N: Low budget yandere for my greasy king. This concept has definitely been done before, but I couldn’t resist. This is my first non-smut on this acct and I’ll be so sad if it bombs 😭
Title from the Hozier song: “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”
Tags/warnings: light yandere, minor injury, angst, Shiggy likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep. [In later parts but not in this one: violence, sex, more yandere, 18+]
You’ve always had a soft spot for strays. Maybe that’s why you became an ER nurse—from the first abandoned puppy you brought home as a kid to the patients you refuse to give up on even when it looks hopeless, you’ve never been able to turn a blind eye when something needs your help. Sometimes (times like this) you wish you knew better. It’s hard enough to take care of yourself these days.
Today’s shift was…what, 16 hours? 17? The 20-minute walk from the bus stop to your apartment building feels like it takes twice that long in the rain. God, you need a shower. And a decent night’s sleep, preferably for at least 12 hours. Tomorrow’s your day off, and you’re ready to take advantage of it the best way you know how: Netflix, soju, and your favorite vibrator. But tonight? As soon as you’re clean, you’re going to pig out on leftovers and collapse into the bed that’s the only halfway nice piece of furniture in your shithole apartment. You really do deserve a break; you’ve earned it.
Unfortunately, as usual, the universe has other plans.
You hear him before you see him: wheezing, choked breaths, like someone’s trying to breathe with an anvil on their chest. You’re not quite out of nurse mode so your mind starts trying to diagnose the issue before you even register what you’re hearing. Fluid in the lungs, possibly blood. That hacking isn’t good. Broken ribs? Definitely bruised. But probably not a puncture…
The breathing is coming from down an alley next to your building. It’s dark enough that you can’t see from the street what’s making the noise. And you’re not a fool, you know it’s a bad idea to walk down pitch-black alleys late at night, especially in this area—a neighborhood you’re living in by necessity, because it’s the only place cheap enough for you to get by. But the coughing…it just sounds so awful. It sounds like it hurts.
Your phone’s already in your hand with 119 dialed and ready to call (standard practice when you’re walking home by yourself), but you turn the flashlight on and shine it down the alleyway. “Hello? Anyone there?”
Nothing responds, but you can still hear the breathing. You step in a little deeper, swinging your light from side to side and looking over the heaps of trash bags overflowing from the dumpster. The raindrops make clicking sounds as they hit the plastic, and you can hear gurgling from a rain spout down the side of the building, but the wheezing doesn’t stop.
One more step. And then one more. You wish there was something you could do to make the splash of your rain boots in the puddles a little less loud. Something about this situation—the rain, the dark, the flat grey light from your cellphone, and that horrible hacking breath—it makes you feel like you’re walking into a horror movie. But you don’t stop walking.
The hacking is coming from a man propped up on the wall between a few XL bags of trash. The black outfit he’s wearing almost blends into the bags, but a mop of grey-blue hair gives him away. His head is slumped onto his chest, and if he’s conscious he doesn’t show it. “Hello?” you ask again, even less confident that you’re going to get a response.
No answer.
The smell of garbage is…ugh…hard to ignore, but on top of it is an oppressive stench of copper coming from the man passed out in the trash. You kneel down to get a better look and yep, he’s covered in blood. It’s hard to make out in the low light, but there’s a trio of long gashes in the man’s abdomen, cutting apart the skin and flesh so deep you can see traces of a slim layer of yellow fat between all the inky clotted blood. It looks like he was attacked by an animal. Or someone with an animal quirk. There are a lot of villains in this neighborhood.
And the coughing...definitely internal injuries. Whoever this guy is, he needs treatment. You hold up your phone to hit the call button on your pre-dialed 119—
“Don’t.” The voice is a growl, low and surprisingly firm despite the scratchiness. You jerk back and clutch your phone to your chest, caught off guard not just by the interruption but by the intensity of the face glaring up at yours.
His eyes are red. “You need an ambulance,” you tell him in your calmest nurse voice.
“If you try to call the police, I’ll—kill you,” the man says, but the threat is a little less threatening when he has to stop in the middle to retch blood onto his own chin.
You glare back at him but don’t call the emergency number. There are a lot of of reasons why he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, but the most obvious one is probably true. “You’re a criminal. A villain?”
He doesn’t respond, choosing instead to keep glaring at you like you’ve committed some mortal sin against his ancestors by having the nerve to check on him and try to help him. Somehow it pisses you off. When you were getting your ADN, you once took a temp job doing health screenings at a local middle school and you would always get so annoyed at the kids. Didn’t they see you were just doing your job? Why is it so hard to understand that what you’re doing is for their own good?
Stupid kids. Stupid villain. “You’d rather bleed out and die?”
The man bares his teeth at you, and it’s a pretty disturbing scene considering how they’re covered in scarlet. “You think they’re going to save me? Think I’ll go to the hospital and get all my HP restored?”
He’s mocking you now. You only have a second to move out of the way before he spits off to the side. “I mean…that’s how a hospital works.”
“If you think I would—make it out of that ambulance alive, you’re—dumber than you look.” His voice is interspersed with coughs.
“Well, you’re not going to live if I leave you here.” You hold up your phone, ready to call the ambulance, but in a shocking display of agility the man lunges forward and grabs it out of your hand. “Hey, wait! Give that…back…”
Your voice trails off as your phone crumbles—literally crumbles to dust in the man’s fingers. Once he’s satisfied that there’s no way for you to call the cops, he slumps back onto the trash bags and closes his eyes, apparently exhausted from the effort.
Goddamnit…! For a second, you can only stare blankly at the pile of dust that used to be your $300 smartphone. And then you’re seized by something, maybe not hatred but an annoyance so strong you can feel it in your throat, and you decide right then and there that this villain is not going to die. You’re going to save him. Out of spite.
You’re not sure how you manage to half-carry him from the alley to your apartment, but you do. You’re lucky it’s ass-o-clock at night and no one’s in the lobby or the elevator, or you’d definitely be getting some looks trying to lug a maimed body around. What would you say if someone did call the cops? Don’t worry, don’t worry about it officer, it’s just my friend drank a little too much, oh those wounds? We were at a costume party, haha…
But no one sees you, and no one calls the cops. The man is unconscious the whole time you’re carrying him, and by the time you have him laid out on a shower curtain on your living room floor his breathing is a little bit shallower than it was before. You’ve got your tools—nothing fancy, just some gauze and closures and antiseptic from your personal first aid kit. It’s not much, but it’ll have to be enough.
“Let’s get to work, asshole,” you tell the unconscious body in front of you, and you crack your knuckles.
///
The day after you pick the villain out of the garbage, your body decides that it’s not going to let you sleep in no matter how much you need it. You can tell because the huge windows in your bedroom—the only saving grace of this apartment, honestly—are depositing golden-pink sunrise light over everything you see when you open your eyes, including the villain’s face. Which is about six inches away from yours.
“You smell like death,” you tell him sleepily. He doesn’t move.
He’s…probably in his early twenties, you think, but it’s hard to tell because of all the wrinkles. His hair is on the longer side, and it’s striped with rusty brown smears from his blood. Again, you notice how red his irises are. Have you ever seen someone with eyes that color before? You’re pretty sure you haven’t.
“You slept for a long time,” the villain says, finally moving back so he’s not breathing into your mouth.
“Yeah, I was tired. From saving your life.” You sit up and rub your temples. “I’m thirsty…”
Before you can finish your complaint, the villain is holding a glass of water out to you in an awkward 4-fingered grip.
“Um, thanks, I guess.” You suck down the water and immediately feel better, enough that you realize how wrong it is that he’s up and moving around and probably undoing all your hard work. “You should be lying down.”
“The floor hurt, and I was bored.”
“Lie on the couch then. You can watch TV. But first—“ He’s sitting on the edge of your bed next to you, and you make him lie down flat so you can look at the injuries. They’re not nearly as bad as they looked last night—no walk in the park, but at least you won’t have a corpse in your apartment in a few hours.
When you’re done inspecting him, he sits up and asks you for a shirt. You had to cut his off, not that it was any great loss. The thing was shredded. Him pointing it out is the only thing that makes you really realize he’s shirtless, so you give him an oversized pajama shirt of yours. It has the name and motto of your old high school on it, and the villain reads it out in a half-mocking tone when you hand it to him.
“Beggars shouldn’t be choosers,” you snap. “You should be grateful.”
“I am grateful,” he says, putting the shirt on. “But I don’t understand.”
“I mean, you need a shirt, right? It’s cold—“
“No. Not that.” He’s staring at you again, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact. “Why you didn’t leave me where you found me last night.”
There’s a lot you could tell him, all of it a little bit true. You were curious. You believed him when he said he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital alive. You couldn’t leave him alone the same way you can’t leave abandoned puppies alone. You wanted to prove to him that you were right, and that being stubborn wouldn’t get him what he wanted. But you don’t say that. “You killed my phone, so you owe me a new one. And I can’t get that back if you bleed out.”
He’s looking at you like he doesn’t believe you, and you fidget under his gaze until he sighs and says, “Whatever.”
You have to let him lean on your shoulder when he walks back to the living room to lie down on your couch. How the hell did he even get to your bedroom by himself? You really didn’t think this through—what are you supposed to do with an infirm possible villain who can barely walk unsupported without opening his injuries back up?
But that’s a problem for tomorrow you to deal with. Today, you’re content to set your laptop up on the coffee table so the two of you can watch TV in…oddly companionable (if you’re not imagining it) silence. It’s almost the lazy day off you were daydreaming about before you got yourself into this mess, and the atmosphere is so relaxed that before you can really decide whether to force the man to go to the hospital or turn him out on the street (or…?) you’re dozing off on your couch like there isn’t a potentially dangerous stranger lying beside you with his head just a few inches from your lap.
When you wake up, your problem is solved for you. He’s gone, and it’s like he was never there—except you’re down a cellphone and a pajama shirt, and your shower curtain is drenched with blood. You wrap it up with the rest of the soiled medical supplies and toss all of it in a dumpster a mile away from your building without knowing exactly why.
///
It’s not the last you see of him, but somehow you had a feeling that was going to be the case.
He scares the shit out of you the first time he visits (over time, that��s how you’ll start to think of his little unannounced drop-ins: visits. Like you’re being visited by a ghost or something). You’re coming back from another grueling shift in the ER, so tired you think you might be sleepwalking, and what do you find when you come in your apartment but a strange white-haired man sitting on your couch eating dry cereal out of the box and flipping through one of your books?
You nearly piss yourself.
He doesn’t seem surprised, which makes sense, considering he’s a villain and he’s probably used to pulling this dramatic entrance thing on people. He certainly doesn’t seem the least bit threatened when you brandish the mini canister of pepper spray on your keychain and demand that he tell you how he got in if he wants to retain the power of eyesight.
“It was unlocked,” he says.
“It was not unlocked,” you reply, rolling your eyes. You may be sleep deprived, but you’re not careless. Never careless.
“Whatever. Calm down. You’re not going to use that on me.”
He’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. If he wanted to do something to hurt you, he could’ve done it that first night. And you’re too tired to really put up a fight, so you just put the cap back on the pepper spray and flop down next to him on the couch. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He looks at you curiously from between his shaggy bangs, like you’re the one intruding in his home and not the other way around, then reaches out to hand something to you. “Here, payback.”
It’s a cell phone—not a smartphone like the one he destroyed, but a flip phone circa the 2000s, the kind that forces you to press “9” four times to get the letter “F”. You stare at it for a second, then look back at the villain. “Are you kidding? Did you get this from a museum?”
“Take it or leave it.” His feet are propped up on your coffee table, but you can’t make yourself care. Actually, it looks nice…him stretched out with an odd look of comfort on his lanky form.
You lean back on the couch and kick up your feet next to his. “Fine. Thanks, I guess.”
He shrugs.
“How are your wounds healing?” Why are you trying to make conversation with this guy? He’s…a villain, right? Not that you’ve ever received affirmative confirmation of that fact, but the hesitance to call the police and the breaking and entering are pretty good tells. But…it might be weird, but since you picked him up that day, you’ve felt a kind of kinship with him.
Alone. Abandoned. No place to go. No one to save him. It’s not a pretty comparison, but you can’t deny it rings true.
Maybe that’s why you pick up strays.
“They’re fine,” he tells you after so long a pause that you’ve almost forgotten your question. “Doesn’t even hurt anymore.”
You take a long look at him, at his posture—he’s relaxed, but his abdomen is crunched a little bit, curled in on himself so subtly that even you wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t looking. It’s not your problem. He’s an adult, and you’re sure he could be seeking real medical attention if he really needed it. You’re in no way obligated to perform some kind of checkup on this arrogant dick who literally broke into your apartment to give you a shitty phone and eat your cereal. The sensible thing to do is to tell him to forget that you live here and hopefully never see him again.
His head tips back to rest on the top of the couch, and he holds your book up to read. At this angle his long hair is out of the way of his face, and you notice among the deep-set creases in his skin a pair of wide scars across his right eye and on the corner of his lips. They’re pale and faded—old, then—but they look off to you, and after a while of snatching glances at his face you realize it’s because they’re healed badly, extraordinarily badly, the kind of healing that you don’t see very often because it only occurs when a stubborn patient tries to let a particularly nasty injury heal on its own. The part of you that isn’t sensible wonders how old he was when he got those scars.
Has he learned his lesson?
You doubt it.
“Lie down,” you sigh. “Let me see the cuts.”
Which is how you find yourself examining this annoying villain again, checking on his injuries and giving him recommendations for care like you’re his personal nurse or something. It’s not a role you enjoy playing, but at least he takes it without complaint, and you start to wonder if maybe this is why he broke into your apartment in the first place. If anything, he looks calmer when you’ve flipped up his shirt and prodded at his wounds, his eyes closing slowly and freeing you of that scarlet-red gaze.
He’s like a cat, you think, and then you shake your head and remind yourself that it’s a terrible idea to think of this man—this grown man who is probably a great danger to you and others—as a wild animal you’re trying to domesticate.
When he finally leaves (only after you drop a couple dozen unsubtle hints about how long you’ve been at work and how exhausted you are), you take a moment before you sink into bed to look at the flip phone. It’s no nicer than your original impression, but as you scroll through the screens you notice that it’s factory-new, except for one thing: there’s a contact programmed in, a phone number with an area code you don’t recognize listed under “T”. And you don’t want to be curious…
…but you are. Shocking.
Down the rabbit hole it is, you decide. So you text him.
///
[You: 12:03 AM] > Hey it’s (Y/N) > (the girl whose apartment you broke into) > What does T stand for? [T: 12:07 AM] > What do u think [You: 12:09 AM] > ?? [T: 12:09 AM] > My name > Dont you know who i am [You: 12:10 AM] > Are you famous? [T: 12:10 AM] > You dont watch the news do u [You: 12:11 AM] > Not really > What’s your name then [T: 12:12 AM] > … > Didnt u say u had to sleep [You: 12:15 AM] > Oh yeah > Whatever I guess > Good night
[T: 2:34 AM] > Its Tomura > Dont look it up
[You: 8:02 AM] > Ok > I won’t > Tomura
➠ [Part 2]
#Shigaraki tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura#yandere bnha#yandere shigaraki tomura x reader#bnha imagines#feeling real shy posting this 👉👈#bnha#yandere shigaraki tomura#boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia imagines#mha#my hero academia#mha imagines#my hero academia imagines#shigaraki tomura/reader#yandere shigaraki tomura/reader#yandere
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