#like why tf does it seem like they believe only them and their feelings matter???
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draygon-lord · 8 months ago
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Vent
#the anger about all the shit they did is setting in and im just tired#like why tf when i was going dark on everything because i was actively suicidal did they immediately assume it was intentional and maliciou#why did they immediately decide it was on purpose to hurt them and for attention#why did they show up to my house when i wasnt there without telling me or making any attempt to contact me beforehand#and at the time say it was to deliver a present because theyd be too busy to deliver during the holidays#only to two weeks later after i reaches out first when i finally felt marginally better#they blew up at me and said it was actually because they were worried and that because i worried them they didnt want to talk to me anymore#but i could still talk to them even though ive been asking for literal years to not be the only one reaching out anymore#and theyd never reached of their own volition at any point#like how does any of that make sense????#how is any of that good friend behavior or found family#both of which they claimed to be#why did they immediately assume me being actively suicidal was intentional and malicious towards them#theyve never shown actual interest in how im doing or my life so what tf was that performative bullshit#why did they also assume me cutting them off and leaving the group was intentional and malicious to prevent them from#inviting the friends who were there for me to their super bowl party#like why tf does it seem like they believe only them and their feelings matter???#what the actual fuck#at no point had any of them shown any interest in my life or how i was doing so was i just supposed to sit there and be quiet???#like how does any of that make sense
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euovennia · 2 years ago
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Okay hi hello I’ve just binged your platonic Simon x reader headcannons and as an aspec person I am absolutely EATING THIS SHIT UP - Simon deserves someone to lean on and seeing him be vulnerable and care for someone like that and who will do the same for him makes my heart melt.
however, I am also a hopeless romantic and an absolute sucker for pain and the thought of Ghost catching feelings and being completely unaware of them because he’s barely used to having a friend let alone a crush; only realising after y/n does something he’d usually find stupid only to find himself completely smitten over it and him just going “oh. oh nO” and queue the internal turmoil because he has no idea what tf to do with himself and god forbid if y/n actually likes him back-
This has been plaguing me all morning and I cannot act right so I had to share it :,)
this can be a read as part of the bff ghost series i have going on, but i see it more as a "what if" kinda thing bc i strongly believe this man just needs a good friend. thank you for requesting, and as always, i hope you enjoy <3
warnings: nothing comes to mind, but lmk if you see something that needs to be added and i'll do it asap!
summary: ghost panics when he realizes he likes you just a little too much.
anon you're so smart for this because i genuinely feel like friends to lovers is the the easiest way for simon to fall in love
like there's already a deep, established trust there (in terms of being on the battlefield)
i mean obviously because if there wasn't you wouldn't even be on the team in the first place
but the trust he places in you on the field paired with the trust he has in you off the field?
i think it's safe to say that while this man doesn't realize it yet, he's already a goner
the meals you share, the low-budget hollywood action films you hate watch, and the unbelievable amount of patience he has for your shenanigans
basically, you two have become two peas in a pod (despite him not wanting to be in the pod in the first place but who cares he's your friend and that's all that matters)
and i genuinely believe of he were to start falling for one of his friends (aka you) it would be a very slow process, one that neither of you realize is even taking place
it would be the little things like you willingly making making the same dish two days in a row for your little meal times because he just likes it that much
maybe even leaning your head on his shoulder while you two watch those bad action films because, deep down, he loves knowing you trust him enough to feel so comfortable with him (bonus points if you end up falling asleep)
ordering him his favorite brand of loose leaf tea that he can never seem to find anywhere on store shelves
god forbid you memorize the way he prepares his tea and randomly show up with a steaming mug of it at random times of the day
as i said before, it's the little things that do it for him
but imagine doing all of those things on the. same. day.
like
you know he woke up extra early to help price take care of some paperwork and while he's doing that you stroll in a mug of tea
then later on when you see him for lunch he finds you made two plates of bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potatoes, it's a british thing apparently) despite having it the day before and when he asks why you just say something like, "yesterday you said you wished you could have more, figured i'd make more"
then later in the evening when everyone's retired to their rooms, you walk into his with the all too familiar box of loose-leaf tea in your hands along with a blanket
you just kinda set the box on the bedside table before dragging him to sit on the floor in front of the tv the two of you snuck into his room one night after price banned them after soap broke his and he was the one who had to clean up the mess
he totally saw you two sneak it in but never bothered to say anything because he trusts you
anyway
you flick on the tv and put on the third installment of that god awful 'sharknado' movie series you two had found out was a thing not too long ago
and all is well
until you lay your head on his shoulder and grab onto his arm as you look over his tattoos
he'll probably give you a little glance before turning his attention back to the movie, it's not uncommon for you to do things like this
but then he'll feel something cold press up against his skin and he'll look down again just to see you holding a colored marker and scribbling inside the lines of his tattoo
and as much as he wants to pull away and throw that marker to the other end of the room
he just can't bring himself to do it
not when you're pressed up against his side with your hands cradling his arm as if he was worthy of such care in the first place
obviously this night wouldn't be complete without you falling asleep against his shoulder, so that's exactly what you do
he lays you to sleep on his bed while he makes himself cozy on the floor :)
anyway cue him getting up early for his morning shower and the complete and utter shock that hits him like a truck when the marker you used the night prior to color in his tattoos doesn't wash off
he makes a bee line for his room and immediately picks up the marker you used only to find out it's sharpie
and while he knows that this would be a perfectly acceptable time for him to wake you up and chastise you for doing such a thing, he doesn't
because when he looks down at his arm he can practically feel his chest bloom with a warm, fuzzy feeling because you did that
and it's after he's stared at the colorful markings that now grace his skin does he realize he's got a small smile etched onto his face
then it hits him like a truck
he likes it because of you
he likes you
it cannot be overstated how quickly he grabs his stuff and leaves the room, not caring in the slightest that you're still wrapped up in his sheets
he doesn't do much work that day
just a lot of aimless walking around base as he tries to, in his words, get his shit together
because, in his mind, this is probably just about the stupidest thing he can do
and it's not even because he's technically your superior, that's a mess all on its own
it's the fact that either one of you could quite literally die at any given point while on a mission
and that's not even bringing up his own mountain of trust issues and insecurities
it's a mess
he's a mess
and how does he deal with this mess?
by avoiding you like the damn plague
you thought it was bad when he was trying to duck out of your pre-friendship interactions when you seemed to always be trying to find a way to bug him? think again.
he becomes practically invisible to you
his callsign isn't 'ghost' for no reason
i can honestly see it getting so bad to the point where you start to really only see him on group missions
which isn't too horrible admittedly because you always manage to squeeze in some small talk, but it's not enough
but one day, price calls the two of you into his office with laswell patiently sat waiting on a video chat over his laptop
and it's revealed that you two are being sent on a mission to gather some intel about some new terrorist group that's popped up on laswell's radar
and he just kinda sits there and accepts the fact he'll have to be paired up with you because what's he gonna do? tell laswell and price no? absolutely not
anyway
i imagine the mission going off without a hitch
i'm talking real simple, just a quick in and out before ghosts is on comms requesting an evac
that's where things go wrong
because you'll get some bullshit response like, "oh no, bad weather, can't fly like this, looks like you'll have to wait! get cozy!!"
and while you are a bit disappointed when he breaks the news, you can't help but feel a little happy because now you actually get to see and interact with simon for more than five minutes
but while you're over in your head having a small celebration over the unforeseen circumstances, simon is pretty much dreading it
he knows you know he's been avoiding you and he's 100% sure you're going to make him sit through an awkward conversation about it
and what's worse, he's certain you won't stop until he tells you why
well it's a good thing he knows how to keep his mouth shut!
at least he thought he did
because after having you ask him for the reason of his sudden avoidance of you for what he swears has to be the hundredth time, he just spits it out in a small fit of anger and annoyance
and i highly doubt he'll realize what he just said until he looks over to you after not getting a response and seeing you there with your eyes wide and jaw open
he'll definitely try to backtrack with something like, "forget what i said. you didn't hear anything."
and then your brain will finally kick in after going haywire for an unnecessarily long amount of time and you'll just kinda ask him in a small voice, "did you mean it?"
and as tempted as he is to brush you off and say no, he can't bring himself to do that
but remember, simon is still a very hurt man underneath that mask and heavy duty gear, so i can imagine him just letting out a small sigh before saying something along the lines of
"i'm sorry."
and your heart just breaks because you can practically feel the shame radiating from him as he turns himself away from you and averts his gaze to the floor
simon riley, perhaps one of the most hardened and strongest men you'll ever come to know, apologizing for the way he feels
you can't help but shuffle closer to him until you're sitting by his side
and you'll sit in silence this way for a while as he tries to ignore just how close you are while you try to find a gentle way to approach this
you're stumped
but eventually, your eyes will fall onto the floor and simon's gloved hand will come into your vision
and there's not a single thought in your mind before you're reaching out and putting your hand on top of his
the man practically malfunctions
he's sitting there, thoughts going a mile a minute as he tries to decipher what this means
but then you'll lean your head on his shoulder and he's almost startled at the way all of the noise in his head seems to just disappear
but still, he can't resist asking
"what now?"
and you'll let out a small, wistful sigh as you nuzzle your head further into his shoulder
"whatever we want."
he'll look down at you with an almost shy gaze, "and if i want you?"
and you'll interlace your fingers and punctuate it with a squeeze, "then you can have me."
and that's good enough for the both of you
at least until you get back to base
:)
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like-rain-or-confetti · 1 month ago
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Hi! Can you do the rogues (BM, TF, Scarecrow, Riddler, Penguin) and the moment they realize that they are in love with the reader?
Realising they're in love.
Black Mask: It was when you went above and beyond to take care of him. He had never thought about love or any real committed relationships after Tiffany died. She was the first who he really was able to see him spending his life with. There was a giggle. Black mask looked over to see one of the board directors smiling at him. "What?" He huffed at her. She gave him a knowing smile. "You're in love." He answered in pure instinct and immediately grimaced at how desperately in denial he truly sounded. "Am not." She didn't believe him. "You keep staring off at (Y/N) like you're silently begging them to look at you." As if trying to save his dignity, he emphasised his next response. "I do not beg." Yeah that didn't help matters. Then he sighed. "...ah shit."
Scarecrow: It was after he spent months with you on a regular basis. It was so slow that he didnt notice but then all at once when he noticed. Like you had the ability to distract him and he never even noticed. In that very moment he knew you had power over him. Something no one else had. Everything seemed to slow down. The room filled with people now just colours and shapes that didn't have any impact on him. Except for you across the room. You weren't doing anything special, simply talking to a stranger. Yet he couldn't look away- he couldn't breathe. He couldn't believe it. He didn't think he was capable of it. Yet here we was. His heart pounded at the very idea. His stomach dropped with...anxiety? Longing...? Fear? Awe? It all seemed to meld into one now. A feeling that was uncomfortable, yet filled him with reason, drive. It all had a point now, even if meaningless. It hardly mattered. He let out a shaky breath before saying to himself. "Now that's...unexpected." It was hard to say those words with how tight his chest got.
The Riddler: It was when he realised you actually listen to him and take interest. However he knew he was a goner when he wanted you to tag along with him everywhere. He considered love to be a weakness. Being in love made his chest flutter and as happy as can be. Remembering being in love was the worst feeling he had ever known. What came after love stained the purity of each and every love hes ever had. He didnt want it. He wanted to feel self suffient. He wanted to look out for him and only him. Falling in love only reminded him how lonely he truly was. Denial then set in. No, he wasn't miserable. He was not lonely. That was impulse talking. A fleeting stupid thought he didn't have to pay any attention to. Though he couldn't really account for the sinking feeling of doom that came soon after. A feeling only (Y/N) could provide genuine relief from.He sucked in a sudden gasp. He couldn't help but notice her absence more and more as no one took interest in what he said like (Y/N)- "No!"
Penguin: It was when you saw his worth. It hit him like a ton of bricks and he knew it immediately. Like he got grabbed by the throat. So it's a little inconvenient but he doesn't hate it. Although it does make him extra insecure. He also doubts that you'd actually be interested in him. So whilst he wasn't denying his feelings, he wasn't exactly keen on telling you about them... or anyone else. "...oh..." He put his head in his hand. This was a mess. An awkward mess he wanted no part in. Yet here he was in the thick of it. This is why he can't have nice things because he falls in love with them damn it. He needed a drink...and ice cream.
Two-Face: It was when he looked out for you. He was the type of man who would swear off love. Although apparently, if he could swear off love, it was a whole other thing. He promised himself after his divorce to Gilda that he'd never fall in love again. It did nothing for him. It was useless and a bottomless pit of pain. A drug. When you're on it, it's great until you get a bad trip. (Y/N) stumbled and on pure instinct his non-scarred arm shot out and grabbed you, hauling you back up. "Careful..." Harvey grumbled to you softly. Then he caught himself. You carried on with your day but he was stuck in place for a moment. He knew this feeling well. Why wouldn't he when he was married for years!? He wasnt supposed to do this. This wasn't supoosed to happen. "son of a-"
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ikamigami · 3 months ago
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Ugh EPS annoys me because the Sun and Moon in this universe are very different from the ones in the main story, they’re different in a lot of ways, for one is that this Moon is far less violent or mean, and it seems as if the pain he causes Sun is completely on accident and neither of them like it, this Sun is also a lot more selfish and neurotic, as he doesn’t wanna give Moon the time of day whatsoever, and yet people claim that this is how the main timeline was when that is definitely not the case, in the main timeline Moon was a malicious aggressive presence from the start who constantly was torturing Sun and killing people, and Sun meanwhile was very skittish and yet forgiving of Moon and kept trying to talk him down despite having this constant painful battle. They’re very different from this universe, and yet people compare them anyway and claim that Sun was always selfish and Moon was always this poor little guy, it doesn’t help that Eclipse is saying things like “Sun was always naïve and selfish, and arrogant”, when we know that that’s not the case, also people seem to fail to acknowledge the fact that Eclipse is an extremely biased party when it comes to talking about Sun and Moon because he used to hate them so much and still kind of does, not only that but Eclipse always had a very incorrect perception of Sun, an example of which being how he believed that all Suns were stupid and weak, he said as much before he tried to go after Dark Sun, and he was immediately proven wrong when Dark Sun knocked him flat on his ass, so Eclipse is not a good point of authority when it comes to judging Sun and Moon’s character, heck, in this same episode he was quite cruel and mean to this universe’s Moon for no reason, and with Eclipse specifically, the reason Sun didn’t know Eclipse was there in his head was because Eclipse didn’t say anything, Eclipse was slowly growing into his own person and he still didn’t say anything to Sun even after he was strong enough, if he had said something sooner then Sun would’ve known he was there, it is not sons fault because how on earth could he psychically know that there was another presence in his mind when there is no evidence that there was one in there until July 16th happened, but Eclipse didn’t actually talk to Sun until after July 16th, which doesn’t help because Sun and Moon and everyone else thinks that Eclipse was the one that caused July 16th, they didn’t know Bloodmoon even existed yet so logically they would assume that this brand new presence inside Sun’s head who has made himself out to be their enemy would’ve been the one who did it, and he certainly didn’t clear his name by clarifying that it wasn’t him, he just laughed and acted like he was the one that did it, but it feels like people are going to still keep thinking that because of these new episodes and it is really annoying
It is.. that's why I don't watch this hacking show..
Eclipse Eclipse Eclipse.. *sigh* I had better opinion about you when you were still in our dimension and you were trying to stop Nexus and you were nicer to Sun..
And now it's just reduced to nothing.. *sigh*
I can't blame Dark Sun for thinking that Eclipses are just dumb because this one here pretty much proves it..
And of course people in this stupid fandom believe that Sun was like that.. cause why tf not.. and people are surprised why I say that this fandom is stupid..
How can I not say things like that when this fandom continuously proves it?
People are dumb af
Sun was NEVER like that.. and I HATE that Eclipse is saying that.. and don't start with it's because of his trauma.. when it couldn't hacking be..
Cause Sun wasn't selfish.. like Eclipse do you want us to not like you again? Do you want to completely fumble your redemption? Because you're doing good job if that's what you wanted..
*SIGH*
That's why I won't ever watch EAPS.. and no matter what no one will convince me to watch this hot-garbage of a show..
I'm disappointed.. really really disappointed.. in Eclipse mostly cause I thought that he started to change but NOPE..
Cause I'm definitely not disappointed in fans cause they were always like that towards Sun.. and this fandom is stupid so it's nothing new really..
Or at least I thought that Eclipse had more braincells to realize how different this Sun is compared to our Sun..
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kxmpfflieger · 6 months ago
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Hey, you made me feel sad for your dies-in-every-timeline-TF OC and I would love some more thoughts and lore about her plz. I will fill a cup with my tears if it pleases you
NO THATS NO NEED --
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Dumping all my thoughts under the cut cause this might get long! Sorry if the writings feel scattered.
Her name is Wraith, a Decepticon with a motorcycle as an alt mode. She favours stealth above all, so she prefers to fight with swords rather than blasters.
I havent finished all the IDW comics so I can confidently only speak on her Prime lore -- She's on board the Nemesis practically from day one. Wraith gets pushed around a lot (mostly by Starscream) because she hates practically every word that comes out of his mouth. She's very much like a stubborn teenager so anyone trying to command authority over her just gets on her bad side. Despite Megatron, who has managed to earn her respect (also cause yk. hes scary)
Other bits of lore include
shes besties with Knockout and Breakdown, mainly beacuse they're also land vehicles like her (shes incredibly emotionally avoidant so even this bit of friendship is an achivement).
She's close to Soundwave mostly by proxy of my other oc Pulseblade fussing over her like a mother (I ship Pulse and SW so thats how he ends up being tied to Wraith)
Airachnid freaks her the fuck out. I think TFP Starscream is very "bark and no bite", whereas Airachnid really isnt that, so where threats from Screamer dont really do anything to Wraith, when they come from Airachnid she's more likely to take them seriously.
Wraith has a bad history with being abused and mistreated from the war back on Cybertron, which has caused all kinds of problems w emotional attachments (and behavioural issues)
Starscream ends up killing her at some point in the series. He makes it seem like an accident and blames it on the Autobots. Pulseblade takes it the worst out of everyone, even if she's comforted by Knockout on the matter (this is sometime after Breakdown is also killed). I think this will lead Pulseblade to defect, essentially giving up on the war. In my head she somehow finds out Wraith was assassinated by Starscream (maybe by Rachet, since they used to be coworkers at some point so she'd be more inclined to believe him) which will then lead her to become an Autobot.
Because Wraith dies in Prime she'd also not show up in RiD, although Pulse does make a return. I think it'd be fun for Wraith to haunt the narative in some way. Wraith is also dead in Earthspark, and Shattered Glass. ES Megatron and Bee remember her fondly so maybe her memory gets to inspire the Terrans or something.
I REALLY LOVE THE TERRANS every bit of me wants Wraith to be around for Earthspark for the character interactions but ooouhghghh omg i love angst :(( idunnoo
i just generally am fascinated by the post-war cybertron narrative, which is why im debating her place in earthspark and i want her alive in the idw continuity
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mulletmitsuya · 2 years ago
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Toman groupchat
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, homophobia (as a joke), and one poop mention
Desc: the boys are trying to find out how cat boys defecate
Mikey: it doesn't matter
Mikey: if Kazutora was a real cat boy he would shit in a litter box
Mikey: that's all i'm saying🤷‍♂️
Baji: don't say that then tf??
Mitsuya: usually i don't ask but this seemed unprovoked
Mitsuya: what are you guys talking about
Mitsuya: i'm gonna regret asking this tbh
Kazutora: i shit in the toilet just fine thank you
Kazutora: and i never claimed to be a cat boy😭. i'm just a boy that loves cats
Mikey: you said, and i quote "yeah i think i'm a catboy"
Mikey: fucking slut
Draken: then leave him alone? like what's the issue
Mikey: oh here comes sensible Ken-chin to save the day with his common sense that will most likely save hours of arguing🙄
Draken: 😐
Kazutora: ok fine maybe i said that but i didn't mean it like that. i meant i was a boy who also happened to like cats. Mikey you aren't listening to me
Kazutora: also why am i a slut???
Chifuyu: i mean
Kazutora: bro??
Chifuyu: no i'm joking lol
Baji: he's not
Mikey: it's your waist
Mikey: and your piercings
Mikey: you're a literal whore
Draken: Mikey
Draken: shut the fuck up
Baji: go fuck his sister to spite him
Draken: dude
Draken: can you ever be normal
Baji: nah
Kazutora: nothing's wrong with my waist?
Baji: you wear crop tops sometimes
Mikey: and your twink like, feminine like, small torso tempts those around you
Baji: don't get me started on those nipple piercing bruh, had me creaming all over the place
Mikey: chill😕
Mitsuya: of course
Mitsuya: of course this is an argument you guys are having
Kazutora: I'M JUST STANDING HERE???
Chifuyu: yeah guys leave him alone
Baji: are you typing with both hands? 🤨
Chifuyu: yes????
Chifuyu: 😭
Smiley: these damned homosexuals bruh
Smiley: sorry thought i was dming Angry
Angry: homosexuals are fine!
Angry: Smiley's homophobic, not me
Angry: please keep that in mind
Angry: i was going to reply with something along the lines "well i like gay people because they slay"
Kazutora: idk man i just feel like i'm being attacked for no reason
Mikey: stop being slutty then!
Baji: only be slutty in our apartment bro
Baji: problem solved 👍
Mikey: wait
Mikey: bro chill i was joking
Mikey: dress anyway you like fr
Draken: don't listen to them Kazutora, they're all delusional
Kazutora: ok...
Kazutora: i am a boy that likes cats and that is all
Hakkai: sorry to interrupt
Hakkai: but does that mean that Inupi's a dog boy
Koko: puppy boy in particular
Angry: bro came out of nowhere
Mikey: lol
Mikey: came out
Mikey: get it
Mikey: cause he's gay
Angry: i believe it's bi
Kazutora: i don't think it's gay to think Inupi's hot
Mikey: why not
Kazutora: he's pretty like a girl
Mikey: he has a dick and balls
Kazutora: ok fine 🙁
Smiley: koko and inupi
Smiley: they're the gays i hate the most tbh
Draken: dude can u stop 🤨
Smiley: no
Smiley: watch me tell Emma you're half gay
Draken: she knows mf😐
Smiley: i wanna call you guys a homophobic slur so bad rn
Kazutora: dude you can't do that
Kazutora: it'll hurt Baji's feelings
Baji: nah i'll just beat his ass
Kazutora: lol cause you're gay
Baji: ...
Baji: yeah?
Kazutora: what?
Baji: yeah? cause i like dudes?
Kazutora: ...
Kazutora: 😯
Baji: ain't no way bruh
Mikey: Tora you fucking idiot man
Draken: L
Kazutora: what'd i do???
Baji: did u think me being attracted to men was a joke
Kazutora: yes...
Kazutora: it's not??
Chifuyu: 😟
Baji: so all the times i physically grabbed your ass...that didn't ring a bell?
Mikey: or the times he stared deeply into your eyes and told you he loved you
Kazutora: i thought you were being sus with the homies
Baji: c'mon man
Baji: bro this isn't even funny
Baji: i thought we had smth fr
Mikey:
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Mikey: Kazutora rn lol
Chifuyu: 💀
Draken: lmao
Smiley: Draken chuckled ☺
Smiley: he found the joke funny🤣🤣🤣🤣
Draken: let's go outside
Smiley: nah bruh you gon beat my ass
Kazutora: Baji let's talk bruh
Angry: he emphasized the 'bruh' which means he doesn't have romantic feelings for you
Angry: sorry Baji
Baji: fuck off megamind pubes head ass
Mikey:
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Mikey: Baji rn
Baji: i'm gonna shove a cactus in every crevice of you body
Mikey: bro's mad
Baji: ayt
*Baji has gone offline*
Mikey: bro thinks i'm scared
Draken: why r you trying to find a place to hide
Mikey: i'm just looking for my phone
Draken: ...alr
Draken: ...
Mitsuya: what
Draken: Baji
Draken: where'd you get a cactus that big that fast?????
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fox-from-fairytale · 9 months ago
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Doesn't matter if I already know how it ends, this game will never fail to make me cry.
It's so good that I'd replay it even if I've just finished it, but thankfully there are the other seasons. The thing is, the first one really is the best one. I've always found all the characters so well written and the story is so compelling, even if there are some awkward moments. Couldn't Clem kill the walker with the bat before trying to take the gun/keys? Why didn't the bandits follow Lee and Mark through the open fence? Did Ben really not see the walkers on the other side of the door? Still, those are little things compared to everything else.
The first time I was so focused on Clementine that most of the characters were just background noise to me, but this time I had the possibility to appreciate more of the game since I already knew it, and who shined the most was Lilly. I love that woman for both her good and bad traits, and I'm afraid to replay TFS now lmao 😰
It was a bit annoying how the game seems to try and antagonise her through the other characters bitching about her, but it makes sense since that's something that of course would happen to the only person with the guts to distribute food rations. But still, having Lee as the only one who can say something positive about her and what she has done when the player has absolutely no idea about how things are in the group because it's the beginning of the episode? Lmao fuck you. Also, why does she accuse Carley but if you save Doug she kills him as a mistake? Let my woman show no remorse towards both of them.
She's already hurt for losing the only family she had, so losing the other thing she was protecting so desperately because someone within the group betrayed them is the last nail in the coffin, along with being dismissed while she was trying to find out who did it. I'm not saying it was right to kill Carley/try to kill Ben (who did what he did for understandable reasons from his side), but I still see why she snapped and I can't hate her for it.
It's a pity the game gets rid of her, because seeing someone who still didn't lose her humanity (sure, she doesn’t want other mouths to feed, which should be obvious why since she is the one giving food and knowing they can barely survive with what they can find, but she shows it when she doesn't agree with Kenny if he says that Lee made a mistake putting the girl in Macon out of her misery or when she doesn't want to steal from the stranger - she doesn't want to bear the weight of more people because it would be impossible to take care of them too and she prioritise her family and then her group, but this doesn’t mean she wants to survive on other people's expenses, which, ergh... kinda changes) doing something so ruthless it's so interesting, and I would have loved to see her progression through the game. I guess we do in TFS, but at the moment I'm torn about what they did with her in that season... Also, I simply wanted more of her in the game lmao
Protecting Duck and Katjaa as much as I could + trying to save Larry was a good combo for Kenny, I genuinely think those choices gave me the best of him. I like to make fun of him for being a pain in the ass if you agree with him about everything but a single choice is what makes him despise you and even avoid to save your ass when you need, but I really liked how things evolved in the final episode.
Kenny isn't a bad person, no one at the motor inn and who can join the group later on is, and killing someone (who at the moment is defenceless) because it's what you think is the right thing to do to protect yourself takes quite a lot, and Lee not helping him surely would make him feel like being left alone in such a hard moment and would divide them. But in the last episode, after seeing the worst of him (I mean, I believe that's in s2, but that's another story) because of his loss, the fact that he comes around when Clem is taken and treats you as a pal and uses the last bullet for Ben? I loved that, I think it showed the best of him. I thought he was going to be an asshole till the end, but I'm glad I can be on Lilly's side without having to be hated by Kenny for the whole season. I still loved to kick his ass in the third episode though lmao
I've made some pretty different choices compared to the first time, putting more thoughts behind them, especially when it came down to end someone's life.
Lee is a man who killed before it was necessary to survive, but it wasn't premeditated (or so I believe at least), and still has the heart to take care of a random kid as if she was his own. In the end, I only made him kill the girl at the motor inn who was bitten, the one screaming in Macon, and the stranger. Following this, I didn't let Clementine shoot him, and I'm glad the game made me give the actual reason I thought about: killing changes you, and I don't think a parent (that's who he is in the end) would make their child go through that, especially when said parent knows what it's like, and not only after the apocalypse.
It's clear that in the world she lives in she'll end up doing it, but it wasn't necessary to her safety, and Lee is no coward, and I like to think that he would keep prioritising Clementine over himself even in such a moment. Yes, it's sad for Lee, and Clementine surely is going to regret this, but I wanted to make the choice as Lee, not as the player nor as Clem.
These aren't all my thoughts on the game but the rambling got a bit too long, so I'm going to end it with the love of my life being pissed:
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I read your post about 400 days and it was great. But I have one problem I think you went a to hard on Nate everything he does is understandable to some extent. Hunting down and trying to kill eddie is completely reasonable considering he just murdered his friend and nate has no idea it was an accident, killing the old couple is also understandable because they tried to kill him and they have supplies which can help nate out. Sure it seems messed up but in the apocalypse you kill to survive
Oooooh this is interesting because I think you're being too soft on Nate, anon.
I agree that him chasing down Eddie and Wyatt is understandable given even Eddie doesn't know if he meant to shoot that guy, and to Nate it probably looked like his buddy/companion was murdered. Given how Nate is, it's definitely in character that he'd chase them down for revenge. Really, the only reason we see him as the antagonist in that story is perspective because we're Wyatt, who is running away. If we were playing as Nate, we would see Eddie and Wyatt as the baddies who murdered our friend and feel justified in hunting them down.
Where I have to disagree with you is when it comes to Russell's story. He didn't kill that old couple because he had to in order to survive. Walt explains why he shot at them, Nate and Russell are the armed ones now. If they wanted some sort of revenge on the old couple for shooting at them they could've just taken the guns and food and left the old couple to fend for themselves. The woman was already wounded, there's no reason to believe that couple would be in any condition to chase us down.
Nate killed the couple because he wanted to. This is the face he makes after he asks if they should just shoot these folks and take all their stuff-
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That's not the face of a man who's forced to kill because "it's the apocalypse and you do what you have to survive," that's the face of a man who is having fun and wants to kill to take their stuff. I'm sorry, there were other ways to handle this situation. There was no reason for anyone to die here... Also, if you believe Walt when he accuses Nate of being there before, then this is possibly him backtracking to finish them off and take everything.
Nate is shown to be an asshole early in the story when he opens the window and lets a walker grab Russell. He doesn't care if Russell could get bit and he doesn't even really panic when he realizes he's outta bullets- again, he's just having fun. That's how his character's established.
Also, what makes me actually hate him is how he listened to Russell's story and then throws that trauma back in his face, like nope. I don't feel bad for saying I hope he chokes sksks. He's crusty and an asshole, and I don't subscribe to the idea that it's fine to kill whoever, whenever, no matter the circumstances just because it's the apocalypse. By that logic, Lilly kidnapping and murdering children in TFS was reasonable and understandable because she was just trying to survive with her group in the apocalypse.
If that's being too hard on him, then I can live with that. We can agree to disagree 👍
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chronic-escapist · 8 months ago
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lol i really did become a boring adult, i used to daydream about like doing fun shit and travelling and making music, now i daydream about idk going to therapy Imao. okay, maybe i don’t really agree with the boring adult thing, but that’s also coz i don’t really see myself as an adult anyway, but most people i know seem to think like that, that’s not unique to my experience. honestly i just kinda wish someone could work out why tf i just cannot want to be alive and it's not like cool and idk edgy or whatever, i just genuinely don't fucking know how to want to be here fuck idk it's just hard yknow. and ik the whole thing with me is like i want attention and whatever but idk how to talk to people about that kinda stuff and i figure that they don't wanna hear about it, especially when i hardly ever see people and when we do see each other and im having fun and i don't want to bring that shit up coz idk, it's not really fair to expect other people to fix that either.
i know it’s not fair to expect other people to like fix that but unfortunately it kinda does, i really only like myself when other people are around and who i am with and to them. idk, in that way when im with other people i can exist with them and stop being so in my own head. but also every expression of like sadness or whatever kinda feels fake or attention seeking or whatever when i try to do it and idk, i guess it kinda is, i mean im posting this on here, i guess in that way i am asking for attention. but that’s kinda why we do anything, why i do anything, attention economy and all that bullshit of the modern world. i think i just idk, i think that the only thing that makes any of this shit mean anything is the connection we have with each other and if you look at the state of the world, that connection is sometimes really fucking hard to find or believe in.
or maybe it’s really not that deep and all of that doesn’t matter, maybe i’ll never work it out. maybe i’ll just have to accept it anyway. the one thing that makes me really fucking happy, actually happy doesn’t really describe it, more like idk, the thing that i emotionally respond to the most ( i guess that’s how i would word it) is music and like art generally, and i think there’s a lot of people who feel that way. i mean, that’s the point of art, isn’t it? (that’s a whole other conversation, the purpose and point of art but anyway). the experience of live music is one thing that people really do come together for, for the reason of loving something, of connecting to it and that can be kinda hard to find looking at the state of the world and how divided we are. idk, i don’t really have a point that hasn’t been said many times before and far more eloquently but at the end of the day, i do think we all really do give a fuck, maybe more than we want to admit and more than we know how to express, and at the core of everything it’s about connection or the lack of it
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swords-of-a-soilder · 10 months ago
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i will say even as a semi q!Forever fan...I can say with his lore ending up at a stopping point due to his already planned hiatus, it does to me seem actually pretty easy to write him out. Yes, he had more lore/a planned return, but it could have been 20x more jarring. As it is...he was corrupted in the lore and then...suddenly no one talks about him. Could have been worse.
Though I admit I only watch VODs 12 weeks behind and recap/clip vids. Work + adulting not very good for streams.
I actually appreciate a reset/deletion of things if lots of the server members are uncomfortable talking about him/or uncomfortable with the drama it could cause, Q made it a lot easier for them not to. Even if behind the scenes some are still friends, even if behind the scenes, some keep in touch--no one wants to be forced to have to explain themselves. It's their personal lives.
I also think admins like fanfic writers/artists, did have their own grief about plots they had to abandon, but likely at least they had each other to talk to about it and maybe a few of the streamers.
In the history of SMPs...unfortunately having to abandon plots and having BTS extreme drama is...par for the course. One SMP I watched featured a writer for it flipping tf out causing big lore changes because the streamer didn't go along with the romance he showed no interest in the whole time.
I don't agree with you on most points but I will say I've seen the argument that the mare existence of things in the server in realtions to him can trigger bad feelings for people who aren't comfortably around him.
Makes me wonder how cc Philza will feel when he eventually goes through his ablum again like he usually does even 15 or so streams is he gonna avoid it entirely, go though it and not say anything?
If he remove all Forver related images, it'll leave a heavy dent in his album.
And the creators that do want to acknowledge (as a pervious anon stated) but can't what about them?
Like I get the agurment it will make things easier for people who don't want to think about him, I know bagi and Antonio (I'm not sure how to spell his name you know who I'm talking about) activitly disowned him but that's 2% of his friend group publicity stating disinterest while the rest seem to just silently unfollow.
But I'll give the benefit of a doubt it's more than we think, is it worth it?
No like actually is it worth it? erasing changing the story confusing new viewers, to avoid walking past a building you don't have to acknowledge or interact with in anyway?
Is it worth removing half you lore and leaving a gapping hole in your story?
Also I don't consider the admin on the same level of fan artist, they are above us let's be honest. They help create the lore we love so much, they are responsible for so many of the characters we enjoy.
I feel like them watching their work get remove would hurt a lot more for them than someone us who can just choice to draw the character anyways no matter what out belief about them is.
Also there is a possibility of just doing the removal for damage control over the comfortability of players; I want you to think of what happens when you make a complaint to HR about a worker.
They may suspend that worker or move you to a different department away from that worker, but that doesn't necessarily mean they believe you over that worker.
Simply put even if they think you're lying if they don't act after you've made your complaint they could be liable for reputation damage if you decide to publicity bash them, so they may remove the worker not because they believe you but to protect the company.
So it's honestly up in the air why it's being done but how much can they really remove, without ruining everything?
Also while I get not wanting to be force to make a statement these people make content creator their job, you would want your company to make a statement about something as important as such.
they are human beings with emotions yes but at the very least the owner/boss of the server should make a statement to clear the "companies" progression.
Using corporate speak but you get the point I'm Trying to make, when you invited the guys it'd your responsibility.
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actualclownfucker · 8 days ago
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ughhhghhghhgggggg book quotes about barty, literally choking on my love rn
i rly went off w this one, apologies… if there’s anyway i can make it more organized or easier to read, lmk
YES! omg okay!! i thought there was a line where barty said smthn about seeing voldemort as a father figure but i hadn’t had time to go back through my screenshots from GoF yet and remember and i was NOT about to misquote my son !! isn’t it so fucking good? there’s so much to overanalyze and god, i’m so ready to do it
your hc about barty also having a psychosexual obsession over daddymort? correct. voldemort is everything he wants in a father figure, everything he wants in everything. and barty, having grown up with bcsr, doesn’t have a good sense of where to draw the line. where wanting to be voldemort’s son ends and wanting to be fucked raw by the man starts LOL it’s all one blur of craving affection for him (which we also see in his relationship with his father, mother and sirius, sexual attention is easy for him to understand)
and voldemort has no interest in any sort of relationship with barty outside of Leader/Follower and a bitch to do his bidding. but he’s smart and if letting barty sit next to him sometimes, saying “i’m disappointed in you…” and just giving him a small sliver of attention from time to time is what he can use to make barty even more loyal to him, he’ll do that. because barty is undeniably valuable to him (12 owls, after all!)
and this is enough for barty to convince himself that voldemort feels the same way about him. voldemort is far too busy to spend too much time with him after all, but look at everything he does do! it’s more than bcsr would’ve ever dreamed of! and oddly enough, for the first time in barty’s life, being voldemort’s bitch, he’s happy. he’s useful, hell, to voldemort? he’s even good! and that parental approval he’s been looking for, for so long is finally fulfilled
also “closer than a son” tf is that, barty? lovers???
(and yeah lol, barty has like, the most obvious oedipus complex i’ve ever seen)
that’s such a valid point! there’s no way anyone would know about voldemort’s past, unless voldemort explicitly wants them to know. so there had to be a way to use this against barty and i think it’s exactly as it seems. voldemort knows that barty isnt going to tell anyone, that he’s going to treasure being the only one that voldemort “opened up to” and would talk about his life to, it creates this idea in barty’s head that “i’m special!!!” so voldemort tells barty about where he comes from under the pretense of making barty think that they’re close, that voldemort does love him too. because why else would voldemort be willing to give up such valuable information? it’s the only symbol of trust and love that voldemort is actually willing to offer barty, but it is more than enough
(i mean unless voldemort’s gonna let bcj suck his dick or smthn, bc god knows barty would love that
also lol barty accidentally calling voldemort “daddy” in front of all the other death eaters fucking thrills me LOL)
barty likely definitely would’ve become a blood purist after getting to hogwarts, hearing about voldemort and deciding that voldemort is what he wants to dedicate his life to. i just think the fact that he never mentions blood purity makes is obvious where his loyalty lies. i think if he was a blood purist first, he would’ve mentioned it mattering to him, but the fact that he didn’t is more telling that it’s just voldemort that matters. whatever voldemort believed in, barty would’ve said, “yep. me too!” and it all definitely does go back to his mental illness
so absolutely in a world where he’d gotten help and support for whatever was going on in his head, he never would’ve started following voldemort. he still never could’ve made his father proud, but he could’ve learned to cope with that better
sirius mentions in his dialogue about barty that it came as such a shock to everyone barty turned out to be a death eater. ik the wizarding world is stupid, but i really think it’s because he kept his crazy behind closed doors. where only the people who really knew him would’ve seen it
honestly, other people probably saw him as a bit of a crybaby. if you asked his classmates about him, i think they’d say, “i always thought he was the kind of guy to hurt himself, not somebody else”
ohhhhh, yes! i totally agree!!! outside of blood purity and just talking about parenting techniques??? no, bcsr doesn’t see anything wrong with the way walburga treats sirius
but he would never, ever say that to sirius, because sirius needs to hear that bcsr understands and loves him. bcsr needs to be someone that sirius can complain about walburga to, so that bcsr can use that information and know how to manipulate sirius into believing that he’s so much better and he’ll always be there to take care of sirius
and yes, that’s so real. james just doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says how bcsr treated sirius wasn’t right. because james was raised in a place of nothing but love, he doesn’t actually know what’s bad and what’s not. he’s just being dramatic and overestimating it, sirius knows the difference between bad and good, love and hate, and obv bcsr loves him, so it’s all okay!! (there is something, in the back of his mind, that tells him that it’s not. that he doesn’t want to be hit, but he can’t let himself actually think about it without feeling guilty bc how dare he when bcsr has done so much for him?!)
bcsr is like orion and walburga all wrapped up in one parent LOL he’s got all the emotional and physical abuse, the manipulation and expectations of walburga and then the cold distance and working too much of orion, but sirius doesn’t see that side, bc bcsr always has time for him. i think that’s really what makes it so easy for sirius to accept him as a father figure, it feels like exactly what he needs. and even tho he’s so similar to walburga for sirius (sirius doesn’t actually see it, of course) he’s nothing like that bastard of a man orion. and bcsr is happy to tell sirius orion is a terrible, terrible father
absolutely, the potters would NOT let sirius go see bcsr after everything they’ve heard about him. and that would make sirius feel sososo guilty, because bcsr is probably so lonely without him around. he probably misses sirius so much and sirius misses him too, but the potters are really trying to get into sirius’s head that it’s. not. okay. the amount of damage they have to work on undoing with sirius is wild
ugggggh, yes!!! you’re so right that when sirius first shows up, mrs crouch might honestly feel a little relieved since bcsr is calmer and less volatile towards their son, but she quickly learns that it’s actually for the worst and not for the best, because what she actually wants is to mend her family. not further separate it
but of course, barty is barty and reacts to everything, so he’s not just going to sit there and let his daddy be stolen from him. the one bit of attention bcj got from his father was beatings and now with sirius around, bcj doesn’t even get that anymore? all he gets is “be more like sirius, bartemius”? he can’t stand for that, so he takes it right to his father and says “fuck you, fuck sirius” any insult that he can think of to direct towards sirius and barty feels elated when the anger spreads across bcsr’s face and he knows he’s about to be beat
and everything just gets worse. bc now barty is going out of his way to cause trouble for attention more than ever. and mrs crouch knows the only way to try getting her family back on track is to get rid of sirius…..
(not kill him but it makes me giggle to imply it anyways)
and OMG i looooove barty seeing himself and sirius as if they’re in a competition for bcsr’s attention, so being beaten by bcsr in front of sirius, just thrills him so much!!! and i think honestly sirius just tries to look away bc yes crouch sr smacks and hits sirius a few times, but it’s never a proper beating like that and it’s rly when his pity for barty comes in
YESSS. sirius being his little doll that he can build and shape into what he needs him to be is bcsr’s wet dream!!!! it’s exactly what he actually wanted in a son and it’s so interesting that sirius spent all this time fighting against his own family, their ideals and what they wanted him to be, meanwhile bc bcsr does it with love and hides his manipulation a little better, sirius falls for it easier
and him telling sirius he can cry occasionally is sooo good. sirius never does, just like bcsr knew he wouldn’t, but it makes sirius’s heart swell with happiness just from being told that he can for the first time in his life
omfg,,,,,, bcsr sending sirius home when he’s in a depressive episode???
bc that’s the exact kind of overdramatic shit bcsr doesn’t want to deal with. these kids need to “get over it” and act right. bcsr is not going to deal with them acting up and sirius in a manic episode probably reminds him too much of bcj, and that’s not what bcsr wants from sirius. “you’re supposed to be better than him, sirius, i’m disappointed in you” so sirius does everything he can to not disappoint him again, getting the potions from lily is perfect and bcsr is just “so glad to see you’re back to normal, son” and even gives him a pat on the back. so affectionate and wonderful, amirite?
barty and ocd ♥️♥️♥️ he has harm OCD absolutely. he wants to hurt himself and others, anyway, as often as he can. he has panic attacks that last for hours at a time some days, crying, screaming, hitting himself against walls, banging his head and wrists on things. because on top of all these bad feelings, he has this energy and need to get them out and he just can’t and it’s frustrating and he’s sobbing, because he doesn’t know what to do, bcsr won’t help him, and as much as his mother wants to, she can’t either
and then on top of it, he’s clumsy, ungrateful and falls over all the time LOL drops and breaks stuff, which pisses crouch sr off to no end, runs into things and walls. and it’s never “are you okay?” but always “what did you do now, you idiot child?!” can’t beat the clumsiness or mental illness out of him unfortunately
barty opening up to walburga and her not giving a shit is the funniest thing ever to me LOL he rly thought he was gonna get sirius with that one, but fr. why would walburga want bcj over sirius? perfect, beautiful, looks just like her, sirius? everyone likes sirius better, even bcsr!!! thank god for daddymort entering the picture!
im gonna see if i can’t find the chapter regulus’s age might be mentioned in, bc sirius’s exact words about barty were “he can’t have been more than 19” that doesn’t mean he is 19, he could’ve been younger, anywhere from like 17-19, i’d say. so i’d just like to see the wording on regulus’s age exactly
(i’m a pro-shipper and all, but the ship that irritates me most is j/egulus NGL)
LOL i’ll gladly accept my award for it, ty, ty!!! it’s the perfect way to describe barty’s obsession with sirius. it’s not love, it’s barely any real genuine feelings outside of hate, tbh.
barty sees this guy who his dad is all over and barty wants to be with him, wants to be him, wants to kill him and be killed by him all at the same time
he’d go out of his way to start fights with sirius whenever bcsr isn’t around (it’s fine when he is around too, but that’s more about fighting bcsr than sirius)
and i think sirius would do his best not to fight back, because he thinks he understands barty. he gets that he’s upset and why, so he does his best not to engage with it beyond defending himself
but sirius WILL defend himself. and ohhhh when he does??? bcj just about creams his pants from it, it’s the hottest thing in the world and i think he’d just grab sirius by the back of the neck, sirius prepares for an actual physical fight, but suddenly bcj is kissing him instead???
and it’s messy, their teeth keep clacking against one another’s, their lips press too hard together and it really shouldn’t feel good, but it does???
and sirius knows better than to get involved with him, he really does, but he pities barty and figures “well, fine, if fucking him gets him to chill out, let’s fuck”
also idk how you see barty’s looks, but i don’t see him as being all that attractive? like he looks fine, but he’s got pale yellowish skin, looks like he’s gonna throw up and start crying constantly, freckles and a bit of a baby face in my head and is sooo thin in a sickly way. it’s sorta just his manic personality that makes him hot and i love the idea that it doesn’t actually match his face. at all
also, nothing makes me uncomfortable. the more toxic and fucked up it is, the more i’m gonna like it. the whole time we’ve been getting into this, in the back of my mind, i’ve been like, “okay,,,,, what if bcsr and sirius fucked tho?” i tried to hold it back, but you’ve unleashed me
(you can also tell me if i go too far here but i just love fucked up shit)
barty would be crushed to know his daddy is fucking sirius. that should be him. he should be the one with all of daddy’s attention and getting “i love yous” whispered in his ear, he should be the one that gets told he’s doing a good job when he gives his daddy head
the idea of him just standing in the doorway, looking in thru a crack while he watches bcsr fuck sirius is everrrrything to me
and this doesn’t at all help his psychosexual attraction to sirius either, because he’s jealous of him and wants to be him, but he also wants to be with him???
and on sirius’s end, i could totally bcsr grooming sirius into them sleeping together, being jealous of anyone else Sirius seems to like, because what is he going to do if sirius finds someone he likes better than bcsr and stops spending time with him? no. that’s not okay, he doesn’t want that.
so bcsr has to be everything for sirius. he has to be there for emotional support (not that sirius would complain too much, bc he doesn’t want to be a burden), he has to be his father, he has to love him, raise him and teach him what to be in life, but he also has to be his lover, because he can’t stand the idea of sirius having anyone else for anything
and as long as bcsr loves sirius, sirius would give him anything. as long as it keeps bcsr’s attention on him and he keeps praising him and sirius just keeps making him sosososo proud and doing so well??? sirius would get addicted to that praise. whatever it takes to get it, he wants it, whatever bcsr tells him to do, he does it
but!!! bcsr not wanting sirius in that way is also so interesting bc of how rejected it would make sirius feel from bcsr for the first time so far. yes, he’s disappointed bcsr before and yes hes made him mad and gotten hit, but bcsr has never really told him no before??? that would be so jarring and upsetting to sirius, he just might have to go sleep with bcj (LOL)
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do you mean barty crouch sr by bcsr??? because omg plz tell me what you think about sirius’s relationship w him, i find the crouches so interesting, i would love to hear about that
YESS i LOVE you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont actually know how much of what i imagine for them can be fit into canon/is canon but like sglkfd.
so barty jr and sirius probably met during their childhood i think, bcjr was intelligent and well mannered and a respectable kid in sirius' age range, and ofc there's the hc that he was close friends w regulus, too. i hc he was pretty distant w bcjr himself but i just knoww sirius 'daddy issues' black needed everyone's parents' approval. orion was a negligent asshole sawr i think its a pretty valid course of action yk
and ofc bcsr loved him !! he was intelligent, he was quick, he was charming, well mannered, all the shit he wishes his bastard of a son was. and barty sr is a bit manipulative too yk he would definitely try to steal sirius away from his family and friends because he knows what sirius needs.
and like !! bcsr. he knows his son is death eater, he does use sirius as a replacement. he doesnt hide it, either, which he thinks justifies using a very obviously traumatized young boy to forget about the guilt in his heart about abusing, traumatizing and neglecting his own son. that being said, he gives sirius the watered down version of abuse his parents do - which sirius has grown comfortable enough with. that being said, the main reason sirius ran away isnt there: he's not a supporter of voldemort. he's actively fighting against him. (also hehe i hc walburga as bipolar so sirius is just happy he doesnt have a timebomb in the house 24/7) (or at least the timebomb doesnt explode around him !!). bcsr still mentions who sirius should associate himself with, still is disappointed when he doesnt get a good grade (an E instead of an O), he yells at sirius, maybe he raises a hand at him too - but at the end of the day sirius finds him justified because he's the one who took sirius under his wing, and is helping him, and is nice to him, and this is really what parents do to their children, right?
here is also when the post comes in btw: bcsr feels entitled to sirius' life, his idea of a parent/child relationship is ownership, and unfortunately that's sirius' view of it too, but bcsr is a lot calmer and quieter than walburga, he cares more than orion - to sirius its really the best of both worlds. bcsr wants sirius to go in politics which sirius does not want because he already has whatever career he's chosen for himself, and bcsr feels it necessary that sirius follow his - his own son wont.
bcsr does need sirius, he confides in him, he loves him (in his own fucked up way). sirius moves on, he runs away and gets farther and farther away from everything that reminds him of Before and feels resentment that bcsr (a man who he's considered his strongest father figure for years) doesn't even reach out to him once. bcsr feels that its a child's responsibility to reach out every time - he feels betrayed that sirius didn't runaway to him, that he didnt even know sirius had runaway till someone told him in passing. the letters they exchanged come to an abrupt end and it just feels like everything ended in the middle of it yk. barty crouch sr doesnt see sirius till sirius is arrested, soon after his own bio son is x
(also, yes sirius does still have the potters, but the potters are a completely different world to him. he's not used to that kind of completely unconditional love, he's not used to seeing how they shower their heir son in love. its a little bittersweet, it feels like a fantasy, sirius feels like he's intruding, he fills resentment to james for being raised with parents who love him and ofc he doesnt want that so he finds solace elsewhere. he thinks the potters are angels on earth, his relationship with bcsr is what the normal parent/child relationship. if walburga and orion are a 10 on the scale of what sirius considers to be 'bad parents', euphemia and fleamont are in the negative. bcsr falls somewhere in the middle, like a 2 or 3 to sirius. to bcjr, sirius can recognize, that bcsr is horrible. he yells, may hit, he's permanently disappointed when they do interact. they barely ever do - bcsr is always busy, he makes special time for sirius (which makes sirius giddy bc wowzers am i that important?) which cuts out even more time from bcsr and bcjr to interact. also, bcsr calls sirius son and he doesnt call bcjr son. sirius is lowk a homewrecker i love him.).
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bratz-kitten · 3 years ago
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 7
gemini and pisces placements are similar in the sense that geminis are able to see things from all perspectives, while pisces are able to empathise with people who have all sorts of different perspectives. pisces placements... be careful with over-empathising with the people who hurt you to the point where you’re understanding why they did it and you start excusing their actions. gemini placements... be careful with seeking the multi-layers and million different perspectives in everything and everyone to the point where you’re driving your own mind insane and you don’t know what your opinion is anymore because you hyper-analyse so much. too much of a good ability becomes a curse.
people with venus-mars aspects have a talent for making people who hate them fall in love with them 💋
moon in the 11th house natives tend to attract friends who get into scandals. moon in the 10th house natives tend to be the ones who get into said scandals. it’s a PERFECT FRIENDSHIP
capricorn placements have a talent for knowing how to make things last. they want to prolong the enjoyment they get out of something for as long as possible, which is why their hobbies, friendships and relationships tend to last a lifetime... hedonistic sluts
since both the 7th house and the 11th house rule fandoms, celebrities with a 7th house or 11th house neptune can attract fans who view them as angels who can’t do nothing wrong — because of this, those celebrities rarely take accountability for their mistakes, since people keep pushing the “but they’re perfect :(“ light on them
pluto conjunct ascendant natives always come off as very serious during first impressions, no matter how approachable and inviting they strive to appear.
sun and moon in the 10th house people may feel as if they’re always exposed to the public eye, they can’t get away with keeping things secretive. others always notice whatever they want kept on the low. this can be especially frustrating if they notice that others aren’t exposed to the same kind of scrutiny that they are for simply existing
lilith in pisces bitches have a natural talent for appearing like angels even in situations where they are 100% guilty. it’s very easy for them to put on their vulnerable, lost puppy act lmfao, which triggers others’ protective instincts. they may be able to cry on cue when people call them out on their bullshit, making them feel like THEY’re the shitty ones for confronting the lilith native... it’s insane
lilith in the 12th house natives may feel as though the themes of lilith are trapped in their psyche, at the core of who they are and those themes become unavoidable for them — they’re always there, lurking in the shadows, becoming the center of their nightmares
people with mercury in the 1st house can feel veryyy threatened and defensive when someone possesses knowledge in an area that they don’t, it’s like it hits them right on their biggest fears. they often either try to “one-up” the other person in an attempt to heal their broken ego or shut down altogether in insecurity. it’s imperative that they work on developing a strong sense of self-worth because they can be extremely prone to comparing their mental skills to those of other people.
people with personal planets in the 12th house may feel as though a lot of their artistic drive is stifled by their lack of energy. like... in the mental realm there’s a lot going on and it’s incredible, but then you pick up a pen to actualize your visions and you feel exhaustion immediately overtaking you. it can feel like there’s a lot to your psyche that feels inaccessible to you not because you don’t want to explore it, but because you have yet to restore the energy to dive deep into it. this can be especially noticeable if there’s absolutely no 5th house energy in the chart
people with jupiter in an earth sign love being surrounded by greeneries in their home; they may take a lot of enjoyment out of taking care of plants, gardening, cooking and stuff of the sort. it makes them feel more grounded, independent, and even healed. they also LOVE scents that connect them to nature like the scent of grass and the ocean.
air mercuries can be very beware of strangers, they can feel offended when their friends make them socialize with someone they don’t know and it can take a hot while before they trust the person enough to lower their defences a bit. they need to know it’s safe before expressing their usual sexy eccentric selves in front of someone new. on the other hand, aries placements can also hate being introduced to new people through their friends but it’s mostly because they’re very territorial over them, and can’t stand the thought that this new person can hurt their friendship in any possible way
meanwhile, it’s probably an earth or leo/sagittarius mercury introducing new friends to the group. they’re so fucking good with people and it shows in how they make people feel welcomed so easily, it’s like they “take” the person in and adopt them into the group. they can’t stand seeing someone being treated like an outcast because they know how it sucks to feel rejected, so they’ll try their best to make you feel included
while on the subject of people who hate seeing others be treated like an outcast because they know how it feels like to be rejected: SCORPIO RISINGS. bro. people underestimate how chill they can actually be. if they see you being left out, they’ll approach you with no fucks given and do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable. they do so well in group settings.
and while on the subject of scorpio risings... i have a scorpio rising friend and he goes thru it on the daily. he often complains that people are always suspicious of him and that they seem repulsed by him, strangers on the street will stay tf away from him. and it’s so heartbreaking because his personality is so friendly and welcoming and it doesn’t at all match his intimidating appearance. scorpio risings have this energy that not many people can handle, others feel either really drawn to them or downright scared of them because of the “danger” element they seem to carry in them
i know two people who are both scorpio suns and libra moons and they look the exact same, even though they have different risings. brown, deep-set eyes, coarse dark hair, naturally tanner skin tone — and they have the same style as well, using lots of band t-shirts and dark clothing. scorpio energy is always so noticeable wherever it is i swear, it’s like it takes over the rest of the chart
gemini moons are what yall claim gemini venuses to be. like, seriously... have you ever met someone with a gemini venus? they don’t need constant stimulation or else they’ll get bored and cheat. not in the slightest; actually, they’re often incredibly loyal and crave longterm, committed relationships. if anything, they need stimulation outside of their relationship in the form of a good, exciting career and hobbies so that they don’t get too addicted to their partner and to constantly analysing every aspect of their relationship. gemini moons however, tend to have multiple partners throughout life and they often feat deep commitment. they can be huge players imo, IT’S THEM YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!
sagittarius placements are so... tactile? like, they love to touch things. when they go to stores and stuff, they’ll start holding everything that catches their attention— it’s like they can only decide if they want to buy something after thouroughly exploring how it feels, the texture and the energy that the object gives them through touch. and they talk so much with their hands. it makes me so anxious like bitch you aren’t selena gomez, i promise you that you CAN keep your hands to yourself
taurus placements are so weird to me, i can’t understand them. it’s like they’re afraid of exploring their own depths, which in turn makes me unable to explore them. okay, how do i put this... it’s like they have this preset idea of who they are and after deciding so, they’re unwilling to let go of it. “i’m the stable friend who’s here for everyone even when i can barely take care of my own self” and then that’s who they are: the people who are a steady rock in the lives of others, taking care of everyone. and then they refuse to change even after getting hurt. and then, it’s like... well, you can’t just be that. you are a human who contains multitudes, but i don’t think you give yourself enough credit on how layered you are. that fear of changeability, that need to be the one stable thing in a world full of unpredictability will only damage you in the end, because you won’t get to fully experience life’s greatest pleasure: knowing yourself. becoming your own best friend, exploring every layer that there is to your being. i think you deny yourself of that experience because you fear that, with self-learning comes self-growth which leads to transformation. and you fear transformation because you don’t want to change for the worst. but like... transformation is necessary and with that comes adaptability + flexibility, which are things you could greatly benefit from.
scorpio venuses can be so pessimistic— and when they’re in a dark mindset, it’s so difficult to pull them out of it. it’s so difficult to get them to see the good in difficult situations, and to help them believe that it gets better. but even if you don’t believe me, i’ll keep telling you; it does get better. you’ll get through this.
jupiter in the 4th house is an indicator of food having been an amazing part of your childhood; there might’ve been a lot of feasts and you could’ve had a parent who loved to cook. being well fed might be a huge concern for you now; you might get sick easily when you’re eating fast food and non-traditional plates.
mercury square uranus is an extremely difficult aspect to have because, in your earlier years, you might’ve felt dumb or like there was something wrong with your intelligence because you might’ve found school difficult due to it’s structured nature that didn’t fit with the way you like to learn things— you need to learn in an interactive way that piques your interest. your anxiety and any traumatic experienced that you faced could’ve heavily impacted your school performance. you might’ve had an ease with learning but then, when it came to doing the written tests, you couldn’t perform to the best of your abilities. either way, school might’ve been a source of a lot of stress and difficulty.
mercury square pluto can have some weird manifestation where, like... you suspect things but you always suspect the wrong things. i’ve met a few people with this aspect and all of them were extremely suspicious of the most random things who were literally normal and innocent. this aspect can cause a lot of chaos to one’s interpersonal relationships because you might find yourself suspecting your loved ones in the weirdest circumstances due to your trust issues, which in return causes them to lose trust in you + the want to confide in you because you keep questioning everything they’re up to WHEN THEY’RE NOT UP TO ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. probably the most frustrating thing that can happen with this aspect is when you always suspect what you shouldn’t, but then, when sketchy things are actually happening that should be questioned, you don’t bat an eye to it. omfg it drives me insane
moon conjunct the ascendant can make someone have a very delicate appearance that gives others the impression that they need to handle you like fine china or else you might break. my mother has this at a very tight orb and whenever i bring people over, their first impression of her is always “she looks so frail”. the native might be extremely sensitive to every minor inconvenience which brings a lot of frustration to them, a feeling that they can’t control their reactions and inner turmoil. it can also suck when you don’t want to be depicted as the victim but then that’s the way everyone perceives you. the native might have very expressive and shiny eyes, and they can cry easily. it’s very difficult for them to hide their emotions.
your jupiter sign can signify where you feel an overflow of energy. jupiter in cancer may feel like you have an overflow of nurturing and protective energy towards your loved ones, with a lot of intuition and need for introspection. jupiter in leo can make you feel like you a talent for self-expression and dealing with others, being overly dramatic and prideful at times, and with a huge drive to have fun. jupiter in virgo can feel an overflow of perceptive qualities, with a huge amount of self-awareness and also awareness of your surroundings, ability to constantly analyse and a constant strive for perfection (which btw is impossible since perfection is unattainable and you’re a human being who makes mistakes and that’s completely fine. stop finding flaws where there aren’t none).
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wonderfultoweird · 2 years ago
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I've seen some people upset about Bruce Wayne's portrayal in Harley Quinn Animated Series, specifically about S3 ep8 where Harley goes inside Bruce's mind and I just wanted to give my thoughts on it.
I actually really liked the idea about Batman just having to relive his parent's death every moment of his life, and that kind of being why the way he is. It does really paint kind of this awful picture though when it comes to him as a dad and the idea that like, none of the moments he had with his children were important enough to stand out or be his happiest moments. It also kind of seems like all of his love for his children didn't really matter because he just cares about his own parents. While I agree to some extent (like the fact that he didn't even think about resurrecting Jason?? tf is up with that) I also think it's a bit more complicated than that.
In the show he has shown obvious care for at least one son (arguably two since he did make effort for dick to get along with the batfam), as he has a bonding moment with damian after harley accidentally puts him in danger.
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As we all know, Bruce's love language is mainly Acts of Service, protecting those he loves, providing for them, training and teaching them. But after this scene Damian is still upset and Bruce goes out of his way to comfort him.
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[Because the captioning is awkward I've also put in the scipt here:
Bruce: Damian, I made your favorite.
Damian: You didn't make that. Alfred made that.
B: I made him make it. Are you mad because I had to save you from Joker?
D: No. I'm livid because everyone in Teen Titans is getting a nemesis, except me.
B: I'm gonna say something embarrassing here. I didn't have a nemesis until my late 20s.
D: Don't patronize me, Father. It's unbecoming.
B: It's true. I wasn't ready for one. You want your first nemesis to be special. Someone who you could see being your nemesis for the rest of your life.
D: I suppose you're right, Father.]
I think it isn't that he doesn't love his children or care about them, it's that his memories and his emotions are corrupted by that singular memory, and that when he tries to be happy, to run away, to move on there's that older Bruce who believes he doesn't deserve to be happy, he doesn't deserve to not look.
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Like it's quite literally written out for us right there, he can't ever escape his parent's death. Also on top of that I also wanted to point out what Harley says here:
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When I first saw this panel my immediate conclusion was that it was because Harley was there, but earlier in the episode it shows that she actually really can't change his memories that much, she can only change one small thing, which was that he didn't have to look.
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In this I think that Harley being there has nothing to do with the shooter being there and tainting his memories and everything to do with the fact that bruce is inside another memory, where he isn't constantly rewatching his parents murder.
I believe this is why Bruce's happiest memory can't be with his children or any time after his parents died, because in his mind he is just a scared child rewatching his parent's death over and over. When he tries to live in a world without them the guilt pulls him back to that memory.
I just believe that he does love his children a lot but his own personal happiness with them is hard to think about without feeling guilty about his own parents. Hopefully, Harley will be able to knock some sense into him now that she's his official therapist :)
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lilacmeadows · 4 years ago
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The Next Step
Alright guys! This is my first one shot and it’s just pure smut with a little plot. Reader taking Steve’s Innocence because something about Steve being a virgin turns me tf ON! (lol the gif- what i would do to be spraying his chest with water for that scene omfg)
STEVE X READER
WARNINGS: Explicit language,Switch!Steve, slight dom!reader, SMUT, Oral (m receiving), Steve looses his virginity, Premature Ejaculation (but he’s a super soldier so he can do this all day), DIRTY TALK, Slight daddy kink, multiple orgasms (m receiving), the team hears them and makes fun of them a little. Just taking care of Stevie in the best way.
WORD COUNT: 3.4k
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You and Steve were dating for 3 months now. You had a thing for him for a while, and you could tell he liked you too. It started when you first arrived at the compound. He would be sitting in the kitchen with the guys for breakfast, and as soon as he saw you in your spandex shorts and baggy t-shirt that didn’t cover your ass, he wanted you. Sam would make jokes about how he can’t even finish a conversation if you walk into the room.
And when you wore just a sports bra and leggings to train, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. You would be on the treadmill, or lifting weights, meanwhile Bucky would be absolutely kicking Steve’s ass because he’s not remotely paying attention to their sparing match. How could he when your ass was all round, and he could see the sweat roll down your back?
Finally on a mission, you and him were on the same side of the building, and you stabbed a Hydra loser before he was able to shoot Steve in the back while he was busy fighting another asshole. You totally saved his ass. And that night when you were all back at the compound, he asked you on your first date.
Everything since then had gone really well. He was always such a gentleman. Maybe too much of a gentleman. He would always keep you well fed and entertained, and he adored quiet days where he could just sit in your company with his head in your lap while you stroked his hair. But that was about all the intimacy you got. There were kisses of course. But they never lead to anything considering he’d hardly even use tongue. If Natasha was his first kiss this century, you were definitely his second. His hands would always stay firmly on your neck or shoulders when he kissed you, and he never spent the night in your room or cuddled with you from behind.
It honestly was starting to get to you. After 3 months, it really seems like Steve isn’t attracted to you at all, even though he calls you beautiful all the time. And to make matters worse, the whole team thinks you’re having hot sex all the time, and you can’t deny it because your boyfriend asked if the two of you could keep what you do and don’t do private.
So there you were, sexually frustrated. As per freakin’ usual. And absolutely tired of it. You decided you’re going to sleep with your sexy goddamn boyfriend or at least make some type of progress, or this wasn’t gonna work.
You texted Steve 10 minutes ago to come to your room to watch a movie, and he took his sweet time before he finally walked in- sweatpants hung low on his hips and sinful white v neck that was at least 2 sizes too small.
It’s like he does this shit on purpose.
He joined you on your bed and gave you just a side hug as a greeting and that’s what made you snap. As badly as you wanted to start the movie and slowly ease your way closer to him, until you could rub up against him and finally get some passion going, that plan was out of the window.
“Steve. Are you attracted to me?” He raised both of his eyebrows in shock at the question.
“Of course I’m attracted to you, Y/n. You’re the most beautiful girl I know.” He said with a reassuring smile that, although genuine, wasn’t enough.
“So why won’t you have sex with me?”
“You want to have sex?” He gulped, as if it’s so hard to believe.
“Of course I want to have sex. It doesn’t even have to be sex. But something. We haven’t even made out or anything. I saw you shirtless more before we even got together.” You said, not trying to push him too far, but expressing your desire to be close to him, phsyically.
“Y/n.” He sighed, and leaned away from you with both elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like I’m not attracted to you. I am so, so, attracted to you, it hurts sometimes. And I want to... do... that... with you, but I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Baby, how could you ever disappoint me?” You leaned in closer to touch his shoulder, watching him tense under your touch. It hurt to see him like this- so closed off from you.
“I don’t have any... experience. With these kinds of things. And you make me more than a little nervous” He admitted sheepishly, not meeting your eyes as he continued. “I’ve only had a handful of kisses, and according to Nat, I’m not very good. I don’t want you to sleep with me and think of me as a loser with super soldier serum.” Hearing him think of himself so lowly made your heart ache. You’d do anything to prove him wrong.
“Stevie, I’d never think that of you. Like everything, sex takes practice... and a good teacher. And I’m more than willing to put in the tutoring hours.” You joked, making him chuckle a little bit and relax his shoulder under your hand. “We can take things as slow as you want.” You said, backing up from him to start the movie.
You and Steve had been watching all your favorite movies in your free time to get him caught up. You got to about 15 minutes into Pulp Fiction when John Travolta was talking about eating a girl out, and you could see Steve getting tense out of the corner of your eye.
“I do want to.” He started, letting that sentence fragment hang in the air.
“Want to what, sweetie?” He blushed a little everytime you called him a pet name, which only made you do it more.
“Have sex with you. I just.” He moved to face you, the movie suddenly not important. “Can we go slow? I don’t know what I’m doing, Y/n.”
You nodded you head and sat a little closer to him, almost straddling him from the side.
“Yes baby. We can go as slow as you want. I’m not going anywhere.” You said as you started to nuzzle your face into his neck, finding his pulse and leaving a wet, open mouthed kiss. You heard him let out a deep exhale.
Putting your hand on his other shoulder, you kneeded the muscle a little before bringing your hand down to his pecs. Rubbing his chest with your hand in a sensual, but comforting, way. Your lips never left his neck, trailing small licks up his jaw, until you reached his ear.
“I’m gonna need you to tell me if you want me to stop okay.” He just nodded at you. “No baby, I need you to use your words. We’ll use colors okay? Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for go? You wanna try that baby?” He tried just nodding again. “Use your words, baby.”
“Ye- Yes. Red for stop, yellow for slow down, and green for go.” He said, looking at you for approval.
“Yes, Stevie. My Captain is so good for me.” You said as you continue rubbing across his chest, leaving a kiss on his cheek, close to his mouth, before you leaned back slightly. You heard him let out a little moan at the use of his title and saw how his breathing was getting slightly labored. “I think we should just talk for a minute, hmm.” He looked at you, confused on why you’re stopping.
You laid him down on your pillow, and laid next to him, with one leg in between his. Half straddling him. You could feel his erection through his sweatpants and saw how his hands were in tight fists.
“I think you should just lay here for a minute, and let me tell you how wet I get for you. Hmm?” He looked up at you with lust blown eyes and moaned when you pulled his bottom lip into your mouth. “I get so turned on, when you first wake up in the morning, and come down to the kitchen. You hair is all messy, and I can tell you’re just a little bit hard. It’s so sexy, baby. And then you tell me good morning, and your voice is so deep and groggy. Mmm, does it for me everytime.” His hand moved up to your waist, eyes going from being squeezed shut, to looking at you longingly, and back to tightly shut.
“Y/n.” He moaned.
“What’s your color, baby?” You leaned closer to his face, urging him to open his eyes and look at you.
“Green.” He said.
“Good, baby. You’re such a good Captain for me, huh?” He groaned a little louder at that, so you decided to test a theory. “Or do you wanna be Daddy?” You said, then licked the shell of his ear.
“Jesus, Y/N.” His hips bucked up from the bed a little. Oh yeah, he liked that one. You decided to save that for another night.
“Color, Stevie?”
“Green, Y/n. Green, please.” He moaned again. Begging you to move faster, which is what you wanted him to do all along. You wanted to get him needy for you, so you could know he really wanted it.
You crawled over his lap, completely straddling him, and moved your hands down to his abs. You grinded down on him once, twice, and then just let your clothed core just sit on him. He moaned loudly then. The friction almost overwhelming for him.
“Can we take this off, Baby?” You said, putting your hands under his shirt hem. He nodded and helped you get it over his shoulders. “You’re so sexy for me Captain. I wanna kiss every inch of this chest.” You leaned down a bit more to give him a peck to the lips. “And I think I’m gonna do just that.”
You learned very quickly that Steve is vocal in bed. Loud moans and groans with every slight movement of your mouth on his collarbones or shift of your hips. You got to his left nipple and put it in your mouth- flicking it with your tongue and sucking gently.
“Oh, God, Y/N.” He bucked his hips into yours a little.
“I love hearing you come undone for me, baby.” You said as you move to his other nipple. You give every inch of his torso attention before you scoot back, in between his legs. You lay a hand over the large bulge in his pants where you can already see a wet patch forming.
“And you know what’s funny, baby?” His eyes are squeezed close, and he’s breathing so hard, you’re not sure he heard you. You apply a little more pressure on his weeping cock. “I said. Do you know what’s funny, baby?” He let out a choked sob at your tight hand rubbing his cock, even through the layers of his sweatpants and briefs.
“Wha-what’s funny, baby?” He got out in a deep whisper.
“You’ve been walking around here, for over 3 months, in these grey sweatpants.” You pushed your hands down to his balls. “And these tight ass T shirts.” Then you rubbed all the way from his clothed ballsack to where the wet patch is constantly growing. “Like a slut. And expect me to not wanna fuck you silly.” He came under your hands. What was once a wet patch has now spread to his entire crotch. His moans loud and breath coming in short gasps. He’d never cum that hard even by himself.
“Aww. Would you look at that. Captain came in his undies for me. I barely had to touch you, baby.” He reached out his hands for you. “How about we take these off, so I can clean you up.”
“Shit, Y/n. You’re so sexy. I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was about to cum, it happened so fast.” He said, thinking this is over.
“Language, baby.” You teased. “I’m just gonna see if I can get you all cleaned up.” You said, pulling his sweatpants down with this briefs and looking at all the creamy cum covering his underwear, cock, and tops of his thighs. He apologized profusely, cock slowly going soft. “Oh, Stevie. Look at the mess you made. Is all this delicious cum for me, sweetie?” He leaned in, on his elbows, to watch you lick up the cum from his cock, and scoop the cum out of his underwear. “You taste so good for me.” His cock was quickly going hard all over again to his surprise, even though you figured that would happen. He’s a super soldier, after all. “Do you want me to suck my Captain’s cock?” You said, and he nodded frantically at you. You put one of his hands in your hair, showing him how to take control of your head. “Like this, okay. You push my head down to make me go faster down your cock. It’s okay, baby. I can take it.” You said before you put the tip in your mouth and sucked it hard. He immediately let out a loud moan at the new feeling.
He did just what you said, pushing your head down, and pulling it back up. Deeper and deeper until his cock was at the back of your throat, and your nose was deep in his pubic hair. You flattened your tongue under his cock and rolled his balls around in your hands until you felt him cum deep in your throat.
“Fuck. Y/n, shit. It’s so good. Your mouth is so good, baby. Fuck.” He cursed and moaned as you let him fuck your mouth a little more. But this time his cock didn’t even soften. He was still hard, which worked great for you, because were getting more and more horny.
“Do you wanna keep going Captain?” You asked, taking off all of your clothes. His hands immediately reached out to feel your breasts in his hands. You moaned at the feeling. So sensitive from all the foreplay and lack of attention.
“Yes, baby, please? Can we?” He said, pulling you into his lap, moaning at the feeling of your wet folds rubbing his cock.
You took this opportunity to really kiss him for the first time that night, and it took your breath away. He bit your bottom lip before shoving is tongue in your mouth and completely dominating the kiss. It was so much different from any kiss you ever had with Steve. His hands touched everywhere on your body he could reach. He gripped your ass cheek tightly and you moaned loudly.
“I need you inside me, Captain.” You moaned as you slid your fingers down to your hole, trying to prepare yourself a little for the large intrusion. He watched you in awe as you touched yourself right on top of his cock and wondered how he was lucky enough to end up with somebody as sexy as you. He pushed his fingers up, alongside yours, to help stretch you open so he could absolutely ruin you. Then all of a sudden he let go of you.
“Wait. Fuck. Red, Y/n. We need to stop.” You got off of him in an instant and sat to the side. No matter how badly you wanted him inside you, you knew this doesn’t work without trust, and he trusted you to stop when he gave the color.
“What’s wrong, baby? Did I move too fast? We can stop.” You said, out of breath. It broke his heart to feel like he was leaving you unsatisfied.
“I don’t have any condoms Y/N. We can’t do this right now. I’m sorry. But I can-“
“I’m on birth control, Steve.” You said, with a small smile on your face.
“Oh. Why? When did you start that?” He asked you. Still sitting on the bed, but not looking at you.
“About 3 months ago, after you asked me out. I wanted to be prepared for anytime you were ready.” And as soon as you finished talking, he was on top of you. Holding both of your hands up above your head, he kissed you as he nudged your legs open with his knees. He rubbed his cock along your dripping folds, bumping into your clit clumsily, making you moan.
“God, Steve please fuck me. I want it so bad. I wanna feel you, baby.” You cried out underneath him, and he entered you with one thrust. A little too quickly, making you hiss at the burn of his size stretching your walls.
“Shit sorry. Fuck. Y/n, you feel so goddamn good. Fuck. God, Fuck. And so- hggnnn- warm, shit. Baby, I’m about to cum-“ He kept chanting in your ear. His thrusts were sloppy and inconsistent, but he was so big, he was hitting every single spot inside of you- making you see stars. You were moaning as loud as he was. Not caring that your room was one of the closest to the common rooms or that the bed was hitting your wall loudly with each knock of his hips again yours. He let go of your hands to pull your thighs further up around his waist.
You felt him cum inside you with a shout that was loud enough to be a scream, and could hear the squelch of it mixing with your fluids in your pussy. He was gasping for air, and grabbing you tightly everywhere his hands could reach. He was moaning constantly and chanting your name like a song, but he never stopped thrusting.
“Baby, I need you to cum for me.” He said as he kept rocking into you, his hips developing more of an even pace after his 3rd orgasm. He shifted his hips slightly, and was at the perfect angle to hit your g-spot.
You put two of his fingers in your mouth and sucked on them, before you brought the hand down and used it to rub your clit. The added stimulation and him hitting your g-spot repeatedly had you clinching around him in no time. The feeling making him hit another peak as well.
“Fuck, Stevie, baby. I’m about to cum. Can you cum again for me, baby? Fill me up?” You said, trying to stretch this feeling as long as you could.
“Yeah, baby. I’m with you, y/n. Fuck.” He shouted again as he came. Your orgasm triggering his, and the feeling of his cum gushing out of you around his cock extending yours. “Goddamn.” He said as he laid down next to you- not pulling out, but just keeping you on top of him. The combined juices spilling out onto his abs, but he loved it. The whole room smelled like sex, and Steve was willing to bet the whole hall heard them.
“So, how was your first time?” You said, nervously looking into his eyes.
“It was absolutely amazing, Y/n. You’re so sexy. I don’t know why I waited that long, getting off in my hand, when I could’ve been having 4 orgasms a night with you.” He said, kissing you deeply.
“If you think you’re up for it, we could probably go for 5.” You said. Starting to sit up on his cock still inside you.
“Baby, I could do this all night.” He said, beginning to thrust up, until a loud knock at your door interrupted you.
“Like hell you can!” You heard Bucky’s voice from outside your door.
“Stop fucking like bunnies and go to sleep!” Sam joined in.
“I don’t know who told you the world was ending, but you don’t have to repopulate the entire earth in there!” Clint chimed in.
“You don’t even live here!” You yelled back at the door, giggling, while Steve looked like he wanted the bed to swallow him whole.
“And you two just made sure I’m never gonna. The whole compound smells like sex!”
“Oops.” You giggled, kissing your Captain deeply.
Tony was gonna have to sound proof your bedrooms.
~
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oceanwithouthermoon · 1 year ago
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you make a good point about kurumis age, but i dont have too much of an opinion on that part because i dont know anything about japans societal opinions on that kind of thing ?? like, if it was written to be outlandish or not that she got pregnant so young.. hes only two years older than her, and they were BOTH really young, but she was definitely super naive when they got together either way.. but we have to also remember that shes a grown adult now and nothing has changed, shes still a neglectful parent and a bystander to how kusuo is treated.. the one point you made that i would really not agree with (everything else is pretty much perfect) is that we cant fault her for it and that she didnt have an active negative effect on their lives because.. well.. neglect is still abuse, even if its not teeechnically active?? she couldve tried to change her kids situation or their opinion of themselves or talked to her husband or done ANYTHING at any point, and she NEVER did
in my opinion, kuniharu is ALMOST single handedly responsible for the way kusuke turned out.. kusuke got all of his opinions of kusuo from his dad and i really believe that thats not an exaggeration at all.. kurumi still holds a lot of fault though because she did absolutely nothing to help her children or make them feel different..
but kusuke is ALSO an adult and responsible for his own actions.. its definitely true that hes trying to be better by the end of the series and i already said i didnt think he was genuinely bad in the first place, but he still had to have known that what he was doing was abusive.. he cornered kusuo and manipulated him to a SERIOUSLY severe extent, further than anyone else ever has or ever COULD.. i would really like to know more about what his thought process was at the end of the series, and how he came to start changing his mind.. the cat tank was like.. really severe.. like he REALLY wanted to hurt kusuo and did everything in his power to do so.. and then what ? maybe with the power remover stuff, he realized that kusuo wasnt at fault for any of their issues and he always wished he could be rid of them in the first place.. idk.. seems pretty obvious so idk why it wouldve taken that long if that were the case..
another point i forgot to bring up is that something ive seen multiple times in posts that completely take the blame off of kurumi is like "lol divorce arc with my new girlfriend!!" and its kurumi dating KAIDOS MOM ??? WHAT ??? kaidos mom is JUST AS BAD and abusive toward her son as saikis parents are.. we dont know much about how she treats her kids but she literally told her sons best friends mother about how useless and slow her son is and it was clearly making kurumi uncomfortable because who tf says that about their kid.. i dont think shes a terrible person either, i think she just grew up where this was normal and she had her kids with a really specific view of parenting in mind and has stuck by it even though it clearly isnt working and its hurting them.. but yea, thats just one of the bigger examples of how people demonize kuniharu but glamorize kurumi and kaidos mom who arent devoid of blame at all.. plus the "divorce arc" (not saying its bad to write fanfiction about, if thats what u want) is purely wishful thinking about kurumi because it would NEVER happen, no matter what kuniharu does.. ive seen people say both that she would divorce him after seeing how he treats kusuo and that it might happen if he cheated on her, but let me remind you that kurumi DOES know how he treats their kids, she might be naive and not super aware but she SEES it and does nothing.. and with the cheating thing, remember when she and kusuo thought he got arrested for groping women ?? and both of them were just like "ok lets bail him out," THEY WOULDVE BAILED HIM OUT AND NOTHING WOULDVE HAPPENED.. to me, thats what that scene was saying.. i dont think it was implying that its something he would really do, but more that it was showing their family dynamic and how they dont ever STOP each others bad behavior..
i think maybe im a little biased because this is sort of how i see my own family, not gonna go into it but it feels really similar, but even if thats the case i still stand by everything im saying here
unpopular opinion for this area of tumblr, beware+also abuse talk warning
admittedly, all the super casual bashing of saikis dad makes me really uncomfortable, like i dont totally disagree but i wish we didnt just all do it in the middle of other completely innocent headcanoning 😭 its never tagged or warned..
my personal opinions on kuniharu are not as extreme as some are on here, like i think he sucks but i dont think hes a genuinely bad person, he was just thrown into a situation he didnt know how to handle.. he reminds me of those parents who prepare to have a baby and get pregnant on purpose, but then the baby has a disability and suddenly, everything changes.. because they didnt prepare for this unlikely scenario, but it happened anyway, and now they have to figure out where to go from here.. kurumi and kuniharu BOTH made mistakes and didnt handle their genius/psychic kids in ways they shouldve, but its because they werent prepared for it
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velveticamoon · 4 years ago
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‘LIMERENCE IN IT’S PUREST FORM’
DAZAI OSAMU X FEM! READER
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— dazai finally takes off his bandages, but with that his insecurities seem to be bubbling up to the surface, scared that his s/o’s love for him may waver because of the imprints of his past upon his skin. 
WARNINGS: angst (but turns into fluff??), mentions of suicide attempts (it’s dazai folks c’mon-), self-harm mentions, implied sex, profanity
[lowercase intended] 
A/N: was this fic my way of professing my love for dazai? yes no ofc not. this gets so painstakingly soft at the end even i’m not sure how tf that happened but hope y’all enjoy nonetheless (feedback and reblogs are appreciated!! have a lovely day folks)
“are you sure about this?” you asked as you held his hand gently in the palm of your hand, the two of you sat cross-legged in front of each other on your bed. he sat with his clothes off, shirt discarded somewhere along the floor of the bedroom, his trench coat neatly hung across the back of your desk chair. he looked calm, despite the storm that you knew was brewing within his mind.
he slightly chuckled, his eyes closed for a split second before reopening, allowing you the chance to bask in the pools of brown that were being illuminated by the moonlight filtered through the window, casting a shadow over his form in an ethereal manner. how he always managed to look beautiful, no matter what it may be that he was doing at that moment? you’ll never know, but you’d never pass up the opportunity to bask within his beauty.
“if i wasn’t sure, i wouldn’t be sitting here in front of you like this right now, belladonna,” he said, in a hushed manner, not wanting to break the atmosphere around the two of you. he flipped his hand that was facing upwards, gently intertwining your fingers as though he was trying to calm you down. but you knew he wasn’t trying to calm just you down, for the slight shake in his fingers gave him away despite his smile-graced face.
you sighed, shutting your eyes gently for a second, giving his hand a light squeeze before reopening them to look at him.
“it’s ok to be scared, you know?” you said, watching his expression morph from one of calm to surprise, to genuine relief. if there was someone he was willing to let his guard down with, even if it was merely one of the many walls he’s caged himself in that surrounded him in an everlasting maze; it might as well be you.
“i’m fine love, but the longer you linger on this feeble task, the more i’ll be tempted to just rip them off myself~,” he said in a teasing manner. when in reality he knew that if that was the case, he’d most definitely shrink back within himself, too scared to let you know what truly lies beneath the shield of his bandages.
he just didn’t want you to abandon him, for he believed that someone as ugly as him didn’t deserve to be cradled so gently within the innocence of your touch.
“i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, i just.. i want you to feel safe with me,” you said, eyes looking straight into his, and he saw all the unadulterated love you were pouring into his being with merely your gaze, and he almost let his breath hitch because of how overwhelmingly in love he was with you, almost.
“i want you to do it, i trust you,” he said, his voice dripping with a sense of honesty you’d never heard spilled from his lips. that small reassurance was enough for you to finally grip the ends of the everlasting bandages layered over his skin, finally tugging at the bit that would begin the anticipated unraveling of the truth that lay on his skin.
this time, his breath did hitch, your ears caught onto it, and your eyes snapped up to meet his eyes immediately. “do you want me to stop?” you asked, concern laced within your voice, and that alone made his heart melt, the initial shock of the action fading away.
he brought his hand up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, the warmth from your skin sinking into his cool hands, a soft smile tugged at his lips.
“no, i want you to keep going,” he said, and so you did.
you slowly unraveled the rest of the slightly worn-out white bandages, to the point where the pull of gravity finished the job for you. you began gently pulling away the bandages and toss them to the side, only to look back and freeze.
scars upon scars littered his pale skin; some varying in sizes, some faded, but others still fresh. but in the end, the ones that broke your heart the most were the ones engrained on his wrists, indicating that the pain had been inflicted upon him by his own hand.
your lips parted, eyes wide, the shock was ever-so evident on your face. your fingers ghosted over his skin, as though you were afraid to touch him, which in a way, you were. not because you were disgusted, but the thought of you hurting him caused you to refrain from doing so.
dazai stayed silent while watching your movements, calculating his next movements to help stimulate you but to still manage to maintain his facade, but all his thoughts got cut off as he felt you pull him into your embrace.
“i-i’m so sorry, osa, none of- fuck- none of this should’ve happened to you,” you said. dazai could only stay silent as you held him.
dazai’s mind went blank, and he could do nothing but relish in the feeling of your arms around his being, actually getting to feel you without the bandages acting as a barrier between the two of your bodies.
“something as ugly as this shouldn’t have had to even be near your skin,” you said, but despite the sentiment that dazai knew you meant with the words, he couldn’t help the feeling of them rubbing him in the wrong way.
but he didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around you too, and leaned his head atop yours, closing his eyes.
‘she thinks i’m ugly..’ the thought kept running through his head, no matter how much he tried to push it away. dazai had always been one to never let his insecurities show on the surface, but this was one of those moments where he felt as though he couldn’t possibly get more vulnerable than he already was. eventually, the thought had gnawed at him enough, and he couldn’t take it anymore.
with a sigh, he pulls away from the hug and asks “do you want me to put the bandages back on?”
you look at him confused, “does something hurt? if that’s the case, then go for it. otherwise, why?”
he shrugs, averting his gaze towards the blanket that laid beneath the two of you, and says, “i don’t know, i figured because you said that you don’t think they’re beautiful.. you didn’t want to look at them anymore.”
your heart shattered, and you couldn’t help but look at him in disbelief.
“excuse me?” you asked in an exasperated tone, you genuinely couldn’t understand where that thought came from and felt guilt pool in your chest when you realized.
‘he thinks i don’t wanna look at him anymore.. because of his scars..?’
your features immediately softened, and with the way you gazed at him with tears in your eyes, one could only describe your expression as heartbroken.
you cupped his cheek with the palm of your hand and turned his face to look at you, but his eyes remained averted.
you sighed, “osamu, look at me.” you said, voice gentle but held a sternness to it that he knew he’d be an idiot to refuse to comply with.
“what in the fucking universe gave you that idea?” you said, his eyes slightly widened, lips barely parted at the way your voice shifted.
but the thing that shocked him the most was the pure determination that was spread across your features. you gazed at him with such sincerity that he felt utterly enamored by it, almost getting lost in your eyes if it weren’t for your voice bringing him back.
“your scars, although yes, i don’t think they’re beautiful, i’d never want you to hide them from me. the only reason i don’t think of them as beautiful is because of the amount of pain i can only imagine that came with them. and it's ironic, considering i know how much you hate pain.. yet you’ve had to endure so much of it,” you let out with a bitter chuckle. “it doesn’t mean i would try to turn a blind eye and move on, as though they were never there in the first place.” you paused, forcing your throat to not close up on you as you spoke, trying your damn hardest to keep your tears at bay, to stay strong, all for him. you knew that that’s what he needed the most right now, and that became all the more prominent when you noticed the tears beginning to prick at his eyes as well.
you shut your eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to recollect your thoughts, before looking back into his eyes.
“when i told you i loved you, i meant it. every word,” you said, and his breath hitched at your words, but that didn’t stop you, no.
for nothing could stop the way your heart beats for the man in front of you. no matter how ugly the scars may be that were permanently ingrained in his skin, that wouldn’t cause you to lose sight of the true beauty that lies within his soul.
“when i told you that i love you.. i made a promise to myself. to love and cherish every part of you, the good and the bad, the quirks and the flaws, the beauty, and the pain. i promised to love all of you.. even the parts you’ve come to hate yourself.” you said slowly, with a bittersweet smile lining your features, dazai could do nothing but stare at you as you spoke your heart out to him.
“..why?” was the only word he could croak out. he internally loathed how weak and feeble he sounded in that moment, how he didn’t want it to show how much of an effect you had on him with just your mere words, but that was something that he knew he’d never be able to hide. everyone in the world knew that if there was one thing dazai would never lie about, it was his love for you.
you smiled softly, and brought your other hand up to brush the messy tuft of hair atop his head back behind his ears, and leaned your forehead against his, the one that was resting against his cheek reaching down and grabbing his hand with yours and holding it against your heart. dazai’s heart fluttered at how earnest you looked in that moment.
“because.. it’s you. it doesn’t matter to me which part of you it may be.. in the end, it’s still you, and that’s all that matters to me.” you said, and he immediately connected your lips with his, as though with the simple action he was going to be able to pour all the words he wanted to say to you at that moment into your heart and mind.
and it did. it always did.
when it came to the way he kissed you, you could always tell the meaning behind each one.
the playful kisses from when he’s running away from kunikida, always coming in the form of quick and rushed pecks, only for him to continue running right after.
tender kisses to your forehead when the two of you are in the comfort of your home where you both know that no one’s watching, the kind that makes your heart flutter in the best way.
the kisses that occur when he’s managed to come back from a dangerous mission, all in one piece and he always makes sure to come back and give you a lingering kiss, to reassure you, and him, that you’re both still there and alive.
and the soft and delicate kisses to your cheeks for when he’s feeling particularly nostalgic. whether he’s reminded of something from his past, or on the days where the remembrance of his dear friend oda becomes too much to handle.
you always knew the meaning behind dazai’s kisses, and at that moment you knew that the kiss you two shared was a symbol of both of your love being poured into one another’s souls.
the two of you parted, your foreheads resting back against each other’s, breathing slightly heavy from the kiss, but that didn’t stop dazai from murmuring the words ‘i love you’ against your lips.
and he meant it, because why lie about the one thing you’ve never been more sure about in your entire life? even if he felt as though he never deserved it in the first place.
you smiled, and he’d forever feel entranced by the way the moon now cast its glow along the features he’d always found himself to be completely infatuated with. the way your hair graced and complimented your entire being only added to that infatuation.
“i love you too, my beautiful prince.” your lips captured his once again. “let me show you just how much,” you murmured against his lips as you started to gently push him back towards the bed, trailing gentle kisses along anywhere your lips could reach.
and dazai knew, no matter how many times the world may lie to him, that if there was one thing he could always believe in, it was the love the two of you shared, for it was more than love.
»»————  ————««
dazai let his thoughts wander as the two of you laid next to each other, basking in the feeling of your naked bodies tangled up within the sheets, and he watched as you littered gentle kisses along his wrists, kissing each of his scars that your lips could reach.
his heart swirled in a sensation that he could only describe as peace. _no, _it felt like more than that.
“hey, y/n..” he quietly called out. you stopped your actions, humming in response and tilting your head up to face his, which was now staring at the ceiling of your bedroom.
“what’s a word that might describe the way i’m feeling right now?” he asked, you scooted up the bed, raising yourself onto your elbow to begin playing with his hair.
“i don’t know osa, you’re the only one that can answer that,” you said, and he hummed, shutting his eyes and reveling in the feeling of you toying with his hair. “if you want to know, there might be a word to describe how i’m feeling though?” you suggested, and he fluttered his eyelids open to look at you.
“of course, belladonna, what are you feeling?” he asked, a soft smile gracing his features.
“limerence,” you said, and he tilted his head in a questioning manner, not understanding the meaning since the word you had spoken was in english. you lightly chuckled, and said, “it’s an english word, meaning ‘to be infatuated or obsessed with another person,’ and i think it’s pretty fitting, don’t you?”
he smiled even brighter at you and pulled you closer to his body so that you were now laying on his chest.
“limerence, that's this moment.. in its purest form, no? that’s what i feel, at least,” he said, and you hummed in agreement, that’s all you felt in that moment while resting in his arms.
how beautiful is it that someone could make your heart beat so fast, while remembering the times when you didn’t want it to beat at all?
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