#like why cant i have a july birthday or something

[sk3l3t0n444]

2024 please be nice to me im begging you

[parfaitfever]

headcanons for ssomega characters i have!!!!!!!!!

this will be mostly justt how i see the characters and sexuality hcs here and there and just lil ramble for each characters!!!!!!!!

Pegasus koga

hes a clueless little guy in s1 maybe the little brother for everyone

after training shaina would probably let him play pokemon on his gba

he would accidentally see yuna bleeding on the ass and asked what happened not knowing anything (neither does his other 3 friends)

ate dirt ONCE shaina n tatsumi scolded him and he never do it again

after ep18 he never ever wants to touch spicy food ever again

i mentioned this and i'll mention it again, i lovee aroace koga cus whn it comes to love the first think he thinks was family love and says it something like "i love you as much i love saori!"

Lionet soma

like hyoga did in the classic, would somehow be able to drive cars and we never knew wether he had a license or not

im still wondering who the hell are those bitches in ep18??????? are those girlies his BITHCES??? SOMA PULLED THEM??? IS THIS REAL???

i think he'd flirt w someone and just failed miserably

besties w yuna since he arrived in palaestra (ep69) and gave her a childhood nickname and grew further from her a little when he starts to open up to more people and probs only got closer again cus of koga and the saori situation

he is anything but straight (hes pan)

his birthday is 23th of july (younger me said so)

Aquila yuna

been a favorite since young literally my role model when im 7 yiu dont undrstand shes just such a girlboss 4 me my cringeass tomboy asskicker phase back in grade 4 was her influence

for me, even though she kinda became the mother of the group and just hates on everyone, she actually super cared for thm liek koga or soma but shes just scared to get attached to them and it ended up something like her family or pavlin or aria ... so shes just scared she'll get attached to people > lose them at some point so she also tries to kinda distant them to try and not get attach this is also probably why in ep54 her cloth wasnt able to change for the first time bcus she fear if she goes back in to fight she'd lose someone dear to her again (i guess .... im not sure if this is right im js rambling lols)

also notice how riene (yunas childhood friend in ep25) looks a bit like raki and I CANT EXPLAIN HOWMUCH I LOVE EXPLAINING HER YOU GET WHAT I MEAN DO YOU?!??@!? (im just projecting probably, plz help) YOU KNW WHAT I EAMN WHEN I SAY EP25 OKAY LIKE SHE DOESNF EVEN CARE THAT WAS AN ILLUSION SHE'LL SAVE IT TO SEE THE PEOPLE SHE CARES FOR AGAIN YOU KNW WHAT I MEAN

imagine her in her bday not doing anything after she goes out for a meal so when she casually goes back home the maincast gave her a bday surprise :3 (projectig

i did a little redesign of her but its just adding ribbons and glasses bcus i do

arne would introduce her to precure and she discovered who cure moonlight is and now its her fave cuz she looks liek pavlin :3

did i mention how much of a girlboss she is she just onehitko a gold saint (cancer schiller)

bicon ... #1

Dragon ryuho

i used to think hes good at everything BUT cooking

i think he does most of the house chores while shunrei takes care of shiryu like dish washing, sweeping the house very diligent lil boy :3

he loves talkking about his dads adventures or just his family in general uaghegdha *sobs on the flor* he loves his family somuc aughe *chokes

haruto once asked why ryuho never showed up in his concerts and ryuho sweats so much n claims that "he doesnt have enough money to buy the ticker but that doesnt mean he didnt want to support hes just" and harutoo cuts him off and gave him a free ticket

would have like a collection of antique dishes or teacups (its a gift from dohko i guess?? this is a random thought) and he once like broke one and mourns it in his room for 3 days

i used to think he suck at cooking in someway or another unless hes supervised or following a certain recipe (i MENTIONED ths but i didnt notice oh well)

he plays with harutos hair end of story

as a kid i use to htink hes a girl until i heard his voice

gay. end of story

Wolf haruto

i probably still think hes stuck in the school jail for 6 months

episode 22

look listen i feel like i shipped him w an mlp character but i forget whether it was rainbowdash or applejack

FAKE GLASSES FAKE GLASSES HE BOUGHT THOSE GLASSES OUT OF INTEREST IYS FAKE GSUY

he learns those corny jokes froms soma (he fell for ut smh)

allergic to peanuts but he learned it the hard way. so like he got some food with peanuts in it and went to the palaestra infirmary for 2 weeks and when its eps22 harutos dad told ryuho hes allergic to peanuts but never got to tell him and then when ryuho told haruto about it hes liek ... "ah yeah right, thanks but i learned about it long time ago when i ate tofu and stayed in the infirmary for almost a month. "

he likes instant noodles

dyed his hair ends with black/red just bcuz (i kinda drew him like this sometimes hewlo)

Orion eden

hes like the silly dumb like koga but more ... quiet i guess??? like, someone would crack a dad joke to him like what do you call a fish with no eye? fsh. and hes like "i never knew thats how you call eyeless fishes" and took literally without him knowing

very very polite but if something just irritates/annoys him he wont hesitate to ZAP

looks at my old book ... *sighs* stso x mlp ships ... eden was one of the victims

i still dont completely understand why his hair turned grey i mean i dont mind the design doesnt rly affect much buut how I CANT REMEMBER was it cuz of aria or soemthig

foudn this in my school stso hcs notes, he secretly sneaks to arias room and plays piano for her but got caught by sonia and now hes forbidden to even touch the door w/o perms

bi :3

hes seatmates with haruto and so he needs to deal with haruto trying out his jokes he learned from soma and took most of them literally

soma fooled him with the "if you eat the watermelon seeds it'll grow in your stomach"

i keep crying whenever theres aria and eden scene and iys just very sad i just paused the video and cry first

aria

favorite food bread

i cant believe i never drawed her as a kid 3:

MY INNOCENT LITTLE AJHDDFSAHFSDKJH SOBS PKEAS

saoris daughter...

look look look i have a buncha hcs for her but i literally cant remember

twins with koga...... fight mw right now

yuna actually tries to teach her how to cook basic recipes and they also sometimes cook together but aria doesnt rly understand and ended up messing stuff up and eventually yuna gives up n aria would ended up apologizing a lotta times ... but yuna said "its ok!!! ure aria i wont do anything"

she passed those jfashion shops and stared at the store for 15mins

she actually has struggles with talking to people so every so often eden or koga did the talking for her

only thing she can bake is simple bread with yuna

she wouuld like clean n neat stuff so she often broom the house here and there and somehow made koga actually wants to clean

the flower decos all around their house is white, blue or lilly of the valley bcus its her

equuleus subaru

ash ketchum

[gmos]

i am so like. metaphysically exhausted i feel like im going thru so much rn i just need to vent with timestamps

like i have zero money so my card declined on my medical bill today and i have to make a bunch of phone calls to places that are only open on weekdays. and i have to prepare for a market but my heart is just not in it. plus ive been waiting to hear back about some other freelance stuff but it hasnt happened yet. so i just keep working on little bits and praying that it will work out. esp bc i have a tattoo appointment i made for my birthday to keep from totally spiraling but i obviously dont have the money for it right now.

and i have to go talk to bf's parents on monday and convince them that im telling the truth about anything w regards to moving. when they dont respect me and think im just some fairy trying to steal their daughter. and the thing is i am but its obviously for the best. and my parents are excited that im moving back but they cant really help me until july and mostly once we're already over there. and bc of how little money we have were gonna have to get rid of most of our stuff and either fly or drive a car across the country.

and all of this while i am getting sicker and sicker and ive just been getting sicker for years and usually it gets better in the summer but this year it isnt so im really worried about that. all i want is to sit outside in a pretty dress with a fun beverage and draw and write but the reality of my situation keeps creeping in. and its crazy bc the thing is pretty much everything aside from the medical bill is already sorted out and being dealt with and i just have to wait it out. i just cant get over how stressed out i feel and thats whats holding me back from fixing things, leading to them getting worse. they increased my ocd medication but the pharmacy hasnt called me yet even after two days when usually they have it same day.

what is going on. im exhausted. i havent slept properly in like two years. i survive off chocolate chips and microwavables and vitamin supplements. i spend most days alone in my apartment sitting by the window on the computer. this is not living. this is not living. i am supposed to be outside talking to strangers. i am supposed to be making the mistakes of a young adult. i turn 20 in 10 days. i have not been able to stay sober longer than 3 days in a row. i have near-constant short term memory loss. my vision is fading. i cant stand. once a week i go to the park and run until my ribs hurt, which is only about 3 minutes. i wear dresses over my hairy legs and combat boots. i get boba tea and coffee and ice cream when i have 10 dollars in my bank account. why isn't it worth it to live a beautiful life? why is responsibility the beginning and end of my life? when do i get to fuck up without being incessantly punished for the rest of my life?

when i was 17 i came to the startling realization that when something bad happens to me, that is the punishment. before that, and even still, i believed that i had to endure the bad thing and then be punished for the fact that the bad thing even happened. then one day i spilled olive oil all over the kitchen counter and my father helped me clean it up and asked if i was ok. to this day it sticks out as a dream, as if something so kind could ever happen to me. and yet i feel like if i had not been treated with so much hostility, i never would have been radicalized the way i am today. i cant prove either way, but i know that the hostility i am constantly faced with is unwarranted. yet it continues, so what am i doing wrong? the answer is obviously everything.

writing this has calmed me down. i am one of the few who benefits from journaling, even performative journaling, which is what this website is based on. one day when i die just a little bit before my time, my now-bf future-husband will compile my unpublished writing and art and notebooks and tumblr posts into a chronicle of my life, and then i will finally be beautiful.

[trushfamily]

birthday jully 13, the story of a man and his family Tokyo japan 2010-2024

This month on July 18 my 2nd son turning 12 years of age, I hope he, along with his brothers and mother and all their loved once, are doing great preparing for celebrations, as my first sons birthday is on July 24th and my youngest son Leo-Cosumo turning 8 on august 10th, less then month from now. In july 2020, myself and my wife decided to separate. I insisted on divorce various times during our conflictive uneasy relationship which became very apparent during year of 2020. I decided that is best that we separate, for at least short time, or even divorce , but at that time I did not know in Japan there is a tradition of Single custody law, meaning once upon the divorce, only one parent remaining as sole custodian, and in many cases , in 99% to be exact,  the kids stay with mother and father becomes deprived of the children, entirely or partially, depending on the decision of the custodian, in this case of my wife Akiko Trush. During late summer of 2020, precisely around these dates, 2020 being famous for the greatest corona crisis, I lost control of the situation and I moved to Hokaido to work. My family visited me in Hokaido in august , I sponsored their trip , spending around 300,000 jpy on the 5 days trip. During this period I was not sure If I could continue living the lie so I tried to remain in Hokaido for longer period,  but as time went by I started to go crazy, I realzed then that I cant live without the boys, when they departed Hokaido on August 19th, to return to Tokyo, I started crying as I saw them disappear into the gates;  at that moment I only remember that I have never felt so sad and lonely seeing my boys leave. While in Hokaido I started working as Uber delivery guy and as manager of a hostel, so I was working but  I tried to talk to my boys on the phone   but it was not easy as my younger son at that time was barely 4, phone calls were extremely rare and i could only hear them say one two words and disappear. In October I received a letter from my wife asking for divorce. At this point I realized tha this is the point of no return. Even though despite the fact that I was initially the one who insisted on divorce, I knew something smelling fishy, something isnt what it may or may be not.,. At that point I did not know again, what divorce means in terms of your right as a parent. Nevertheless, I started to oppose to the divorce, requesting her motives. Only today, Now after 4 years, I came to an understanding that divorce was an easy escape goat, it was a prompt fix, a solution to a problems that couples face when they get in such stage of a relationship. Mind you my dear, to comprehend one little but important asset,  I knew my wife since 2004. yes now exactly 20 years passed since we met. Going back to divorce, Her motives were not so clear but I got an idea. I was not good enough for her. I did not succeed as a business man, I was not a good father (according to her based on what she or her lawyer states in the court), and on top I was violent and abusive man,. I keep on asking myself once and so often, why to stay in a relationship with such piece of crap man like myself, have 3 beautiful boys and only after 15 years of living and breathing together, making music, building a future for a children, to begin being so ruthless? After being alone for 4 years now, as she took the boys and left the house in December of 2020, I had plenty of time to contemplate on the past, I realized one thing for sure, something went really wrong at one point of our relationship, and I did not manage to decipher and propose a treaty. Its hard to say now when my wife lost interest in being with me, but I am guessing it began in 2013-14. Here is a small fact about me, that I found out not too long ago, that I was extremely attracted to my wife, I was always desiring her and the more time passed the more I wanted to be next to her, in return all I got is a favor, so to speak. Later on she told me she aint my whore and I better go and find one. I wish I had this conversation recorded. I did not record much of what was happening between us all this years, but she did. May be it was all a script and I was just playing a role of sperm donor? I probably never find the true answer to this question. During our living together moments, I tried to avoid conflicts but on 2020 I faced with the dilemma- to be or not to be. I admit, at some point I crossed the line and I said too much... "that’s me in the corner That’s me in the spotlight Trying to keep up with you And I don’t know if I can do it, Oh no, I’ve said too much and I haven’t said enough" I spoke directly and I could not control my rage. as I recall, something in her attitude triggered the dark side of me. I still don’t comprehend fully if I was just being me or being a reflection of her. Mirror effect so to speak?. All I wished was probably to manifest my inner soul, to finally come and face the consequences of our wrongdoing. Yes not just mine but as a couple we must both take responsibilities for our actions.

[thedeathdeelers]

I wish you would write a fic where... Luke and Julie aren't soulmates...

But then....

PSYCH!

They actually are :)

lmao of course

so this kinda just kept on going and idk what happened but uh — it’s longer than I expected so under the cut we go yay

——

julie and luke live in a world where everyone gets a letter at the age of 18 from this one millennia old family run company that tells them who their soulmate is — they base this information on everything about you: age, passion, where you live, your culture, your likes and dislikes — heck even based on your DNA. it has such a flawless success rate that there have been rumours for decades (nay, centuries) that this ‘family’ is made up of gods & demi-gods, of witches and faeries, of literally every magical mythical creature known to man.

BUT ANYWAY so julie and luke are childhood best friends. they met in kindergarten — he pulled her hair, she scolded him, he shrunk in size (even tho his eyes got super large staring at the girl with the pretty girl shout at him) and then she gave him one of her cookies: instant best friends. they grow up together, spend every weekend at each others’ houses.

it’s your classic childhood best friends to 👀 something hinting at lovers 👀

so things change between them a little once they hit those formative teen years, where everyone can tell there’s chemistry between them (particularly two stubborn bandmates who say they ooze chemistry (reg stop saying that) (it’s true alex!). they keep toeing the line of best friends and something more, but neither wants to make a move until it’s official and they get that letter that seals their fate (literally everyone and their grandma think, no scratch that, know, that julie and luke are meant to be: soulmates. 100%. their letters will 100% have each others’ names on them)

and then. on luke’s 18th. he gets a letter. he doesn’t show it to anyone. julie asks to see but he won’t let her. it gets awkward.

fast forward to julie’s 18th, things are still weird with luke, they haven’t been the same since his birthday, but she figures maybe once she sees his name in her letter, they could maybe talk it out and figure things out and hope for the best

ExcepT

~drama~

she opens her letter and....finds another name neatly written in a loopy font, front and centre — Nick [insert last name here].

and she’s stumped. she knows nick. thought she might have had a passing crush on him for maybe 10 minutes that one time in junior year, but then completely forgot about him the moment luke had walked back into their classroom and sat down next to her, launching into yet another impassioned speech about music connecting everyone to everything etc etc.

but now this letter is telling her that nick is the one....and it’s a lot. she’s crushed, heartbroken. doesn’t know what to do, cant even talk to her best friend about it because he’s avoiding her and- oh. she finally understands why. her name wasn’t on that letter. maybe whoever it was asked him to distance himself from her.

drama drama pining angst

she eventually picks herself back up and gives the nick thing a try (her mom and dad were the most perfect soulmates she’d ever seen, and they were matched by those letters. who wrong could her match be?) so when nick approaches her the next day like “so.....soulmates?” she goes with it.

julie and luke are back on speaking terms ish, especially since, yknow, band practice and music and stuff. alex and reggie feel like things aren’t the same anymore but they try to give their friends space. they don’t bring up the oozing of the chemistry anymore and try to keep things as lighthearted as possible around the two.

it’s all getting a little better - julie gets along with nick (spark is still missing tho), luke looks like he’s doing fine with Jessica (spark is also missing). they trudge along, practice like crazy and just fully focus on their music, hoping to ignore the feeling that they’re with the wrong people (the letters are never wrong. those who choose to ignore their letters and chase their own significant other always end up breaking up or screwing up because the letter is never wrong).

so jatp are full steam ahead — desperately trying to find a gig — until they do. they’re all hyped. they open up with bright, follow that up with flying solo, then edge of great — and close it out with finally free. and this is where it gets intense - this is where both luke and julie are confronted with how unhappy they are with their ‘soulmates’ — it’s where they realise it’s just..not cutting it for them. because what juke have with each other when they’re singing to each other while staring into each others’ eyes...it’s magic. it’s something else — there are no words.

so they break up with their respective soulmates (kinda frowned upon in their society). it’s difficult and complicated (especially with luke who has drama with parents cause ‘how could you! it’s the only stable thing you have in your life the letter says so!’ but julie has her father’s full support).

they both feel extremely guilty, their respective soulmates feeling betrayed and it’s just not done yknow? but they’ve both made the decision to break it off and stick to it.

and even though they’re scared to start something that hasn’t been decreed to be the perfect match, they tentatively dance around each other whenever they’re alone together. fingers brushing, sitting closer to each other. glances. etc

but they’re scared they might screw it up like all the other people throughout history who went against their letters. cause the band. their friendship. it’s all super important to them.

and so a year or two maybe pass by and it’s just...adjusting to a new routine.

until one late night as they’re finishing off a ballad for their new album, julie looks up from her sheet music and finds luke, his face barely inches away, staring at her with this kind of wonder and awe and it’s so soft and — the big kiss happens. and it’s explosive and mind blowing and neither can breathe properly when they pull away, foreheads resting against each other, eyes closed.

and they’re both confused and happy and torn and— how could the soulmate letter get it wrong? they question everything about this world but decide that, yknow what, they’re going against the universe, against the norm. what they have is real, what they have is special and they refuse to waste it.

they got this.

and then fast forward to a few years when these two are making waves and jatp are getting famous and juke, the infamous non-soulmates soulmates are getting married, the big company hears about them and investigates

on the day of their wedding, julie receives a letter. it’s very similar to the letter and she’s curious and stressed but she opens it anyway with shaking fingers and-

“Dear Ms. Molina,

Please let us begin by profusely apologising for the letter we sent you on your 18th birthday on the 12th of January, 2024. Please understand that this has never happened, ever, in the history of our company and we can’t even begin to imagine what we have put you through.

We would like to officially inform you that your 100% perfect match, your soulmate, is not Nick [insert last name here], but one Luke M. Patterson.

Again we apologise blah blah blah blah”

Julie stops reading the moment she sees Luke’s name, dropping the paper from her hands and bursting out of the hotel suite she’s changing in, wedding dress on and all. she barely makes it one step out when she’s blocked by a warm solid body.

Luke.

He’s holding a similar sheet of paper in his hand and he’s breathless and eyes wide and staring at her that same way he did all those years ago and...

Finally.

“Told you the universe was wrong.”

She throws her arms around him, pulls him down to her level, and kisses him senseless.

the end

WOOOO

[deaddovecoterie]

- 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓰𝓲𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 -

fandom: julie and the phantoms

rating: like K-T

pairing: reggie peters x reader

a/n: a series of miscellaneous headcanons about our best boy reggie :') heres your birthday gift you beautiful mf <3 @whoseblogsthis BUT SERIOUSLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH

this man is so forgetful, like he would lose his head if it wasn’t connected to him, but he always remembers really random and specific dates like your half birthday, national girlfriends day, national cuddle up day, etc. he always remembers to make small little efforts like that to remind you of how special you are to him

he never liked the corny cliche things that people do for valentine’s day so instead of giving you flowers or something like that, he takes you to block buster to get the most obscure, awful looking movies and you guys watch them all and judge them/make commentary as if you’re movie critics while snuggled up on the couch

reggie loves to be the little spoon :’)

on your first date, he was so nervous to the point where he was shaking the whole time.

this man is so scared of thunder storms, like he absolutely detests them. the loud noises, unnecessary bright flashes? not for him. so every time there’s a storm, you and him make a blanket fort and play video games

you two dressed up as ghosts for halloween and went trick or treating together even though you’re both “too old” to. his reasoning was “it’s free candy and no ones even gonna know??? we have blankets on our heads??” and that was a pretty solid argument

he definitely would facetime you at 3am just to tell you that they found one of your socks that you left at his house

this man has a stash of twinkies hidden somewhere, i just know it

okay so think of 2am drives to get icecream? yeah, that, but hot chocolate at 5am to watch the sunrise together

on early Saturday mornings he would drive to your house with lucky charms and sugary cereals so you guys could watch old cartoons together :')

he's someone who would remember all the little things about you, like why you want to travel to a certain place, your favourite set of sheets to have on your bed, etc

he leaves you random voicemails when he thinks of something

like

"hey baby, its like 6am and I know you're asleep but I just saw a picture I took of you the other day in my camera roll and I just wanted to remind you of how pretty you are. okay bye, love you"

cute shit like that

concerts. every singer that comes to town? you're going. does it matter if either of you knows who it is? no, but you're going anyway. he just loves the loud music and the cheering crowds and having you and him live in the moment jumping up and down with the rest of the people

will most definitely tuck you in if you fall asleep on the couch. he'll take a blanket and tuck it up around your neck so you don't get cold

in the summertime, you guys will go star gazing on the roof of his house, like he'll go all out too, blankets snacks and everything. he'll name off like the only two constellations that he knows (orion "cause he has a cool belt y'know" and Cassiopeia "cause the name's funky")

after naming off those two he'll start making up random ones and giving unbelievably in-depth, tragic backstories to which you cant help but laugh at

hes definitely into astrology and is always rambling on about if your signs are compatible-

"baby my horoscope said I should stay away from aries people this month- oh my god wait no-"

he'll get super worked up about it too and you'll be like "luv I'm sure you'll survive"

very cuddly !!

will hug you from behind at any given moment

a firm believer in generous amounts of kisses on the cheek throughout the day

WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE INTERTWINED HE'LL SWING THEM BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU WHEN YOURE WALKING

takes pictures of you when you aren't looking so he can go back and see them when you have to leave

sways back and forth on the spot when you guys hug

will interrupt you overthinking with lil kisses

jam sessions but make it him teaching you a few chords on his guitar with his hands over yours guiding you :')

and that's it <3

[woozisguitar]

|Dream Boy|- Charlie Gillespie x Reader

|Pairing|- Charlie Gillespie x reader 

|Warning|- none (I think so. let me know if I should add any)

|Word Count|- 1142

|Summary|- Charlie and Reader have been best friends for all their lives. A certain dinner with new cast mates leads to a confession between the two best friends

|a/n|- Hi! Thank you so much for reading this. This is my first ever fanfic post here! It’s based off ‘18′ by One direction. To be fair, its kinda cringey. Anyway I hope y’all like it! 

You and Charlie had known each other for your whole lives. You went to school together, attended every hockey match and accompanied him to every audition. Your feelings for him were platonic until your 18th birthday. Your parents were always travelling due to work. Which leaves you alone on almost every birthday of yours. Your 18th wasn't any different, or as you thought so. That year, Charlie had thrown a surprise party for you, inviting all your friends. The moment your eyes met his on the dance floor, you knew you were in love with him. But unreciprotion and rejection scared you enough to keep them to yourself. Today, 2 years  since, you accompanied Charlie to his audition for a Netflix show called Julie And The Phantoms. “Charles did you really have to cut off your sleeves? What did they ever do to you?” “Oh come on y/n. These make me look cool. I am really looking forward to this role” “okay rockstar.”, you teased him,” Just remember whatever happened in there, I'll always be proud of you”. Charlie smiled and hugged you as he went in for the audition. You decided to spend a few hours at a nearby mall as a good way to pass the time. After 2 hours, you got a text from Charlie asking you to come back to the audition centre. As you reached there, a loud voice called out you name and you were swept off you feet. “Whoa Char, let me down dummy!”, you laughed t this over enthusiastic self. “I got the role y/n! I cant believe this”,Charlie screamed, his face adorning a huge smile. “Oh my god that's amazing Char  I’m so proud baby!!”, you hugged him tight, not realising the small slip up.

“You should join me and my bandmates for dinner. We are going to this cool pizzeria down the block. And of course I want them to meet one of the most important people in my life”, Charlie said walking beside you towards his car. He tossed you his car keys and got in the front seat. You shook your head but either way got into the driver's seat. “Why am i driving again?”, you asked him as you put the keys into ignition. “Because you're awesome and I need to change”, he said, feigning an innocent look. “Sure bub sure”, you rolled his eyes and started to drive towards the pizzeria.

The two of you reached the pizzeria and Charlie looked around to find his other bandmates. A tall blonde guy waved at us and Charlie pulled me towards the table. “Hey guys, this is y/n. y/n my bandmates. Thats Owen, Jeremy, Madison and Jeremy’s girlfriend Carolynn”

“Hey guys’, you said shyly, “it's really nice to meet y'all”

You and Charlie sat down on the table opposite Madison and Carolynn. “So y/n do you sing too?”, Madison asked you, placing her chin on her palm. “Yeah a bit. I don't usually perform. We have Charlie for that,” you eyes flickered to Charlie who smiled at you, '' I prefer to do theatre''. `` That sounds fun ,maybe someday we could stop by and watch you?”

“Well, be my guest. Just tell Charlie and I'll fix yall the best seats”, you grinned.

“Okay, now, how long have you and Charlie been together for?”, Carolynn asked, wrapping her hands around Jeremy’s arm.  Charlie choked on the ice tea he was drinking and your eyes widen at the question. “I- um- we- uhh”, you stammered trying to form an answer. “We are not dating. I mean I've known y/n for all my life but we arent dating?”Charlie said, almost as if questioning that himself. “Oh I’m sorry. I just thought that the two of you were dating because how comfortable yall were. Nevertheless, the two of you would make a cute couple”, Carolynn grinned and Madison nodded in agreement. You blushed and lowered your eyes to avoid eye contact from everyone. The rest of the dinner passed in a blur.

You and Charlie walked back to his car in silence. Why didn't we ever date?, you thought to yourself when you noticed Charlie pass by your house and go in the other direction. “Uhh Charlie that was my stop.” “I know”, he glanced at you and took the turn leading to the forest. You realized Charlie was driving to your Secret Spot. It was a clear opening that had a lake at one end of it. You and Charlie had stumbled upon it during one of your hikes. As most people didn't know about it, it was always peaceful. Charlie cut off the engine and turned to you saying “look I know you're wondering what we're doing here but I think we should talk”

“Sure, go ahead”, you said, your eyebrows scrunching in confusion. ���Not here, by the lake. Lets go”, Charlie got out of the car and you followed in suit. The two of you sat on a log near the lake, both staring at the sky full of stars. “I love you”, Charlie said after a few minutes of silence. You turned to him so fast you were surprised you didn’t get a whiplash. “What?”, you questioned softly trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart. “I've loved you since we were 18. I know it sounds crazy but I do. You were always there for me, y/n. You were there at my happiest times and my lowest times. I always knew you were the one for me but I could never build up the courage to do something about it. But today when Carolynn said that I realised I want that with you. Why didn't we ever date? Look at us! We’re perfect for each other”, Charlie choked out with tears in his eyes and his hands desperately clutching yours. You stood there paralyzed, not knowing what to say. Hurt clouded in his eyes when he realised you didn't respond “I..I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that,”Charlie started to pull away from you when you said “I love you idiot.”, you gave him a watery smile and continued “I've loved you ever since I danced with you on my 18th birthday. I was so scared because you're you, Charlie and I'm me. And I was just so scared that I'll never be good enough for you-”, your words were cut short with Charlie's lips being pressed to yours. His hands rested on either side of your waist and you curled yours around his shoulders. The two of you pulled back, both out of air. “Sorry I couldn't stop myself. Y/N I’ll always love you no matter what. You're my dream girl baby”. “And you're my rockstar dummy”, You smiled and kissed him,knowing your love would be fine no matter what.

Taglist: (none)

[quarantineddreamer]

i’ve been absent, and i can’t be sorry (it’s been necessary), but i do miss this community and having the energy/time to participate.

in truth, it’s been a challenging past few months for me...

don’t want to bore anyone, so details below (tw: depression, anxiety, parental troubles, covid)

i was really fortunate to be really close to my family growing up. i had a great relationship with my parents. which is why it has been that much more painful for me this past year to have them slowly driven from me by the absurdity of current politics. i didn’t see it coming, i didn’t think my parents could become science deniers. and yet here i am...

i tried with everything i had to teach/reach them, but ultimately the stress of it all was causing my anxiety to reach extremely unhealthy levels. for my own health and sanity, i wrote them a long, heartfelt letter explaining why i would not be talking to them for the time being (as they refused to get vaccinated and began to behave dangerously, no masks, frequent outings, seeing lots of people). that was july. 

august my parents visited my hometown. i did not see them or speak to them. my birthday passed, i did not see them or speak to them... 

i spoke with my mother once, in september...and it’s all still just as bad. there was shouting, cursing, crying (mostly me tbh). she’s stubbornly clinging to her beliefs drilled into her by right-wing media. i wont get into them, but it’s conspiracy level bad... she got covid, she kept it from me and my brother until afterwards. miraculously she was okay despite taking “medicine” that has been proven to be ineffective against covid and potentially dangerous while sick to boot... it’s made her even more determined to cling to her insane theories about the vaccine, covid treatments, the government all of it... 

i told her my life would continue without her and dad: i might get engaged (probably would have on my anniversary except my partner felt bad i wasnt talking to them at the time), married, who knows... covid isn’t going away anytime soon, and i cant agree to disagree with her on this. it matters too much to me that they be safe. if i let it go and something were to happen to her and my dad...i’d never forgive myself for it. 

i’m not saying mine is the correct approach. i have been plagued with doubt and guilt off and on. my mom has used language that makes me feel like this is all my fault, for being anxious, for being depressed, for not just letting her have her dangerous opinions... but at the end of the day despite the pain and grief i feel for not having my parents right now, i am still better off than i was before. fewer panic attacks, able to focus at work, able to at least sleep some now. 

i started anti-depressants when my mental health hit an all-time low during all of this, and they’ve been helping too. i really didn’t want to get back on them, but i believe they’ve saved my life. 

sadly, between all this (and busy times at work) i’ve had very little time, focus, or motivation to write. i’ve barely been on here. to be completely honest, naps after work are common. the extra rest has become important. i’ve developed a sudden interest in true crime documentaries and sad movies?? i was very confused by this at first, since i’ve never ever had an interest before, but my therapist says its how im processing my trauma and grief lol 

but why write all this out on tumblr, B? well... i like to scream into the abyss here, and i also want to be completely open about my struggles and mental health, because i was at my worst when i felt utterly alone, and if this post helps even one person who might be experiencing similar feel less alone than it’s worth it.

and i also wanted to let this community know why i’ve suddenly dropped off because it is a place that has brought my joy even during the chaos of the past year or so. i am going to be participating in the upcoming zkmbb and still have my other projects ready and waiting for me to return, but for now, the queue is going to be up and running and i’ll be a bit quieter as i fight my way through this and have to dedicate extra time to self-care.

i hope no one relates to this post, i really do, because it all hurts a lot and i dont want anyone to feel this pain, but if you do? you are a warrior, i admire your strength and courage --and i am sending you so much love.

best wishes all,

B

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Beat the Heat

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom hasn’t had to worry about another guy taking Y/N away...but the heat? Well that’s a story worth telling.

A/N: Only 1 more part left after this?! 🥺 Definitely not trying to prolong the wait on this just so QS can live on.

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden? | Birthday Date Night | Orinthophobia

Masterlist

Summer in London was anything but hot. It was your typical short, comfortable, partly cloudy type of summer with periods of rain here and there. It’s rarely below 60’s and never went over the 100’s. However one stubborn week in July turned out to be the hottest week London had ever seen. Forget high 90’s, the area’s temperature would push to 104 degrees that London itself might as well test postive for Cornavirus. For Tom, Y/N, Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine, it was going to be a game of survival of the fittest.

“I swear global warming is a thing. This heat, the pandemic...It’s the end of the world!” Tuwaine groans as he desperately fans himself with his hand.

“Relax you drama queen.” Tom replies, as he sets up the air conditioner. “Okay so according to the Nest. If I just tilt the circle to left, it should turn the AC on in about 10 minute.” He states, reading the instructions aloud in hopes that cooling device works as expected.

“Well that was easy. So as long as we all stay inside and hydrated, we should be fine and there wont be any need for hand fanning.” Y/N justifies as she looks at Tuwaine, who was still fanning himself with his own hand.

“What? I sweat a lot when Im hot. Im just doing my part.” Tuwaine defends, as he shrugs his shoulder. “When the ten minutes pass and the air is on, I’ll stop fanning.”

Surprisingly, the air conditioner was working as expected! Tom had never felt so proud of himself, that it was all he talked about for the remainder of the day to everyone in the household. Especially since Y/N’s career was all so focused on technology. Tom wanted to make her proud and show that he too can handle techy stuff on his own. “See Y/N, I programmed the Nest all by myself, and I even downloaded the app so I can change the temperature from my phone no matter where I am.” He gloats proudly. “If you feel hot when Im away in Berlin, you can call me and I’ll lower the temp for you.”

Y/N rolls her eyes while she laughs at her fiance’s nerdiness. Of course she knew just about anyone could figure out how to work a nest, but Tom was so proud of what he’s accomplished, she couldn’t really stop him from celebrating his personal victory. “What about me? If I get hot will you turn down the temp for me when you’re in Berlin?” Harrison mocked, as he batted his eyelashes to his best mate.

“You have a phone. You can do it yourself.” Tom says bluntly as he comes around to Y/N’s side on the couch.

“So does she!” Harrison points, accusingly.

“Yeah...but it’s Y/N.” Tom points out, speaking as if it was the most obvious reason.

Harrison turns his face back to the television shaking his head, mumbling “Whipped.” with a slight smirk.

Tom did not hesitate to throw an extremely large pillow toward his best friend before saying, “Of course I am, you div. That’s why I proposed to her and not you.”

Later that night, Y/N and Tom had already cuddled into bed, falling into a deep slumber...Well one more than the other. It got extremely hot for Y/N as she noticed the change in atmosphere. The air felt much warmer, her body feeling slick and sticky from her sweat. The heavy comforter, Tom’s arm wrapped around her body, and his warm breath behind her neck were making her extremely uncomfortable. It wasn’t odd for Y/N to move a little in her sleep. Tom was very much aware of that the moment they spent their first night together, but it was rare that she’d push him off and face the other side with no blankets covering her.

Tom felt an emptiness in his arms, and no extra weight on his legs and waist. Something was definitely off for him, and he lazily put his hand out to feel for Y/N with his eyes still closed. “Y/N?” He grumbled in his sleep, trying to cuddle back to her. “Why...you move?”

“Too hot.” Y/N mumbled back as she pushed him away again. “AC broken.”

“Fuck.” Tom groans, as both tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible for Tom to go back to sleep. Not only was it extremely hot, but he didnt have Y/N on top of him. A position he’s so used to sleeping in his own bed. He certainly wasn’t going to let a good 8 hours of sleep do him dirty like this. He rolled off the bed, as he padded his barefeet on the hardwood floor. Tom went downstairs finding exactly what he needed, carrying the bulk slowly as to minimize the noise and avoid dropping them.

He makes it back to his room, where Y/N rolled on her side snoring peacefully. Tom shook his head smiling at how adorable she looked even though it was probably way too early and dark to even make that assumption, but there was no need. He knew Y/N always looked beautiful to him even on her worst days. Tom plugged the two fans in, turning it to the highest setting. Air was blasting through the fans as it turned rapidly. The room that was once hot and sticky, was now cool and refreshing. In fact it started to get so much cooler, Y/N could feel the goosebumps on her arms. Her eyes were still closed but she instinctively turned on her other side, facing Tom. “Mm. It’s cold.” She mumbles in her sleep.

Tom smiles at her, slowly lifting her leg onto his and pulling her close. “I know darling. Come ‘ere. I’ll keep you warm.” His arm was now wrapped her waist, and he smiled even brighter in victory. As if a broken AC was ever going to prevent Tom’s cuddling sleep with Y/N. Broken house appliances should know about Tom is that when it comes to Y/N...if there’s a will, there’s a way.

The next morning, Y/N and the boys had already made their way to the kitchen, installing mini fans around the house. Tom was the last to come down after his victorious slumber, where he was greeted by a sacastic applause from his best mates. “Well done, Tom. Absolutely smashed it with the AC.” Harry cheers, sweat already drippin from his forehead.

“Yeah and nice going stealing the fans last night.” Harrison laughed, chiming in.

“Oh piss off.” Tom scowls at his younger brother, making his way to the Nest. “I don’t understand. I followed the directions.” He groans trying to check what went wrong.

YN popped up from the back, phone in hand. “Well sorry boys, looks like we wont have a working AC until the end of this week.”

“What?!” The three boys shot up in unison.

“Yeah, the AC’s parts are really old, but the electric company said that they can order new ones today and have it installed on Friday..so no worries guys. We’ll all just sleep downstairs in the meantime, till then.”

They all groaned loudly, like the drama queens they were, making their own way. Tom comes up behind Y/N. “Uhh that totally defeats the whole purpose of why I put those mini fans in our room last night.” He objected with a cheeky smile his face.

“Thomas Stanely Holland. You do not steal fans for yourself just so you have an excuse to cuddle me in your sleep.” She teasingly chastises, sticking her tongue out at him.

“Steal?! I��ll have you know I don’t steal fans..I gain them.” He wiggles his eyebrows ar Y/N, making her laugh. “Plus don’t act liek you didn’t love cuddling with me last night to protect you from the cold.”

“Stop. That’s too cheesy.” She snorts, trying to walk away from him.

“Make me, darling.” He dares, holding her in place as he continues to wiggle his eyebrows.

Y/N smiles at him, her hands slowly making their face to both sides of his face. His eyes closes, as she gently strokes on side of his cheekbone down to his jawline. She leans ever so slowly into him, just barely touching his lips. Toms arms around her loosen, ready to lift her chin up just so their lips could close the painful tiny distance of air. It was then Y/N took her shot, and ran away from Tom, yelling at Harrison that Tom was going to steal the fans for himself.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Tom yells out, chasing after Y/N.

“No that’s called being clever.” Y/N cackles, poorly mocking her fiance’s British accent.

“God I cant wait for this AC to start working again.” Tom groans as he makes his way after Y/N.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @marvelobsessedteenager @viwihere

[pinkassasin]

Young Just Us Band

This is my take on a classic a classic AU, which is not really an AU cause it’s imbedded in canon if that makes sense.

Okay so we are starting of with Kon on the drums. Ik most people would throw him on the guitar cause yeah he would totally rock out on a guitar but i think he would pick up the drums early on to learn how to control his strength but in a fun punk rocky way. But it also helps with his anxiety or when he needs to blow off steam.

Cassie is the lead singer but she can also play piano/keyboard when the song calls for it. She has amazing energy when shes singing and rocking out. Its what she loves to do, other than superhero-ing. she knows shes good and she’snot afraid to show it.

Next Bart would be on bass. Again he started learning pretty early, when he first came to the future basically. Max was teaching him how to slow down and well playing bass taught him how to that cause he had to wait for the note to sound out fully. He likes the peace that comes when hes just in his room making up riffs and solos.

Tim can play a lot of instruments, perks of being alone in a big house with nothing to do. The 2 he knows how to play best is piano and guitar. For the band he's the lead guitarist. He likes the complexity of certain chords and the notes they give out, the fact the moving one finger can change a song so subtly but beautifully fascinates him.

So they dont like form a band or anything, well not officially at least, they just one day realise that they they check all the boxes for having a full band so they think why not, lets try it out.

Well Tim is adamant, he's an awkward lil bean and performing is not really for him and also "guys we gotta train we havent got time to mess around" but Kon persuades him with puppy eyes to just "give it a try Tim pleaseee"

Tim also somehow (cough cough Kon cough cough) gets roped into being the the co vocalist. "what! no i dont sing!" "oh cmon Timmy you know you have a great voice!" "Kon your voice is so much better why don't you do it" "cause im on the drums, as talented and amazing as i am i cant rock out and sing that well at the same time!" he bugrudginly agrees, even though it takes him a while to get comfortable in the role.

They have band practice a few times but they mostly just play alone by themselves or something cause as much as they hate to prove Tim right they are heroes and the actually do have a job to do.

But one fatefull undercover mission in a high school they finally got to see how good they look and sound on an actual stage.

Its a school dance scenario and yeah technically they could just go undercover as students butttt Kon reminds them that "what does every school dance need? A band guys, cmon this is the perfect oppertunity to show people how good we really are"

Bart and Cass are on board immediatly cause why not but Tim takes a bit longer to persuade "I mean is it really nessecary?" "Cmon Rob think of it this way, we get to be there early to set up and scope out the school" "And we'll be up on the stage so while the others are mingling we can get a birdseye view"

So they do it. And they’re good. Really good. So good that after the dance a girl comes up and asks if they wanna play for her birthday next week. "Totally we'll be there, here’s our number" "Conner no-"

They manage to catch the people they were looking for and have so much fun in the mean time, it was totally worth it.

A lil TimKon bonus- for Kons birthday Tim gets him personalised drum sticks with their hero logos on each and the words “your robin” on one and “my clone boy” on the other respectively.

yeah also this was totally inspiered by julie and the phantoms:)

[jinbestboy]

☁️thirty questions tag game☁️

tagged by // @jimindelune and @hazeltae thank you both so much i loved reading all your answers and have decided i’m in love with you both // answers under the cut bc she’s a long one

name/nickname: my full name is emma but i almost exclusively go by em unless i’m in trouble

star sign: taurus 🥰

hight: 6’2” someone call jack i think i’m his missing beanstalk

birthday: april 29 ‘98

favorite band: i mean…….. there’s the obvious answer, but outside of the kpop world id say state champs neck deep and say anything

time: 9pm ish

favorite solo artist: kpop solo is hands down IU she is out of this world, non kpop is hobo johnson

song stuck in your head: all in my head by hobo johnson (ive been really in the feels with him lately)

last movie you watched: it was still when i saw in the hights with @vantehobi i don’t watch movies :/

free space: i hope everyone had a good week last week! i’m gonna try and be more active on here again last week was so crazy with getting to see julie again and then being sad about not seeing julie anymore the whole rest of the week, anyways i missed you all love love muah. oh also this took me literally 2 days to finish why am i like this

last show: i’m watching this series on peacock with my mom called escape to the chateau and it’s ab this british couple who buy a disheveled and worn down 5 story french chateau and renovate it to live in/use for weddings and i love it sm. and as always i have parks or the office on at any given moment

when i created this blog: i’ve had it since 2015 on and off but i swapped over to a bangtan blog fully around october of last year

what i post: an absolutely nonsensical stream of consciousness in the tags of posts made by people who actually contribute to this hellsite

last thing i googled: color dropper online for the 10495903 time because i changed my theme 3 times in a day

other blogs: i keep saying i’m gonna make a girl group blog but i cant even get myself to be on this one as much as i want to be

do i get asks?: every now and then i get one from a mutual but i’m pretty sure mobile tumblr eats like at least 75% of the asks i get because i always get notifications for asks but then i go to my asks and nothing new is there it’s very frustrating so sorry if you send me an ask and it goes unanswered i probably didn’t get it at all i’m so sorry

why did i chose my url?: because kim seokjin is the absolute bestest boy and i think it’s about time that fact is publicly recognized

following?: idk like 460 something?

followers?: yes i love them 🤲🏼

average hours of sleep: fortunately i don’t start work until noon every day so i can stay up until 3 am and still get 7/8 hours of sleep which really works out. sometimes i only get 4 though bc ✌🏻🤪✌🏻

lucky number: mmmmmmm yeah no not a concept i think i can get behind anymore

instruments: i can play the ukulele! and i really wanna learn the drums and the piano but both are time consuming and expensive

what am i wearing?: a tube top and sweatpants and my knock off mic drop socks that just say mic on both sides :)

dream job?: doing what yoongi actually applied to big hit for

favorite food: this changes by the week but i’ll eat about anything with pasta or peach flavoring. also dumplings.

tea or coffee: water please 🥰🥰

nationality: unfortunately i am all american

favorite song: no no, no. i have favorite songS that are all very important to me for different reasons i can’t get myself to explain rn but atm the toppers are 28 and spring day ALWAYS, epiphany, paradise, 134340, home, serendipity, cry for me and also likey by twice, romeo and juliet and also mover awayer and also all in my head by hobo johnson, all you are is history by state champs, and the entirety of …Is a Real Boy by say anything. all of these tend to sit at the top of the list generally but by no means are all my favorites. how dare i be asked to pick a favorite ugh

last book i read: i don’t remember the last time i had the motivation to read thats so upsetting but i always recommend I’ll Give You the Sun by jandy nelson

top three virtual universes you’d want to live in: gonna just let my full weeb out on this one so bear with me; the house they move to in my neighbor totoro is my ultimate dream in life, soul eater so i can be best friends with black star, and kill la kill because i like girls thank you

tagging // @mykrokosmos @yoongisshadow @ccypher3 @sugacutie @jaehyukkies @cowboyjinbop @taejinnies @bibillyhillsbaby @strawberryjimi @rmftjin @stardustyoongi @ftyoongi @flowerkth @floraljimin and also @vantehobi even though i know you won’t do it and it’s fine i just can’t not tag you ok love you most muah

[xxatinyminionxx]

Hi! Btw I'm the anon that asked if we could rant on here.. I don't know how to explain it but I just don't feel good.. last year it all started in june-end right when july was coming along and the night of my birthday everything just clicked on why I was acting the way I was and rhoight I was depressed... I took a couple online tests and stuff even thought sometimes advised not to and at first it kept saying I just had minor depression so I just thought I was overthinking it or something but then each month it would just get worse.. Like once I'd finally get used to the pattern set in August.. it got 10 times worse the month after. So then maybe during November I took the online test once again and mow it said I had major depression and i just sorta freaked out.. i told my 2 of my best friends and they sorta just brushed it off and like jokingly told me to just not die and I couldn't tell them anything after.. so later on i talked to my cousin about it and she kept forcing me to tell my mom and I wasn't ready so aftr a lot of hell I finally blurted it all out to my mom and she idk.. seemed weird after that.. like shed be almost sarcastically too careful like she was taunting me about being so fragile and when I told her how I didn't feel like studying shed say im just using this as an excuse... ive been trying to hint at how ive been feeling for as long as i can remember but once i told her it just.. wasnt what i imagined.. i told her all i want is to get chkd up by a doctor so i atleast know wether this is a actual mental issue or if im just being moody.. but nothing happened n she kept using it against me so 2 days later i brushed it off again asking her to forget about it and well she just did.. like no questions asked she just said okay.. December came and that's when we got a dog.. though ever since we got him i hvnt been feeling as upset in a while tho i do get weekly blues and this month its like ive gone back to how it used to be.. I keep pushing myself telling myself how it'll get better like it did last time and that injust have to wait but its already been two weeks of constantly feeling shitty about myself and i dont really know how long i can hold up anymore and i just had to get this off my chest.. like it never really stopped but it used to happen just for a day or two until it was back to normal but now injust dont know.. i stopped crying last yr cuz i thought I didnt deserve to which is something I still believe n i just feel so guilty all the time that no matter what i just cant cry. I can't sleep at night and it just feels like im going back downhill so fast that it seems as tho the past 4-5 months were nothing and now im back to how i used to be.. for the longest of time after i got better it just felt so weird to me as if it was the first time i could feel what "happy" feels like so i took a really long time to actually get used to it.. like not necessarily "happiness" but just feeling anything other than hate and guilt and just wanting to die all the time.. im sorry this turned into a much longer rant than i intended it to be.. and thankyou for listening. And i just wanted to say that.. youre doing great. Thankyou :)

Post | Well you’re doing great too, for speaking up about something that you have been dealing with. It’s hard when no one around you cares enough to give mental health the attention it needs. If you ever feel completely hopeless, remember there are hotlines and online counselors to turn to. Sometimes you have to do things for yourself and that’s okay. Not everyone is going to understand your struggles, so acting on them yourself is the only option. You can continue using my inbox as an outlet too and I’m sure my lovely followers will show nothing but support alongside myself. I hope that you can smile even a little bit more to get back to that happiness too, even if it means turning to kpop and watching a silly crack video or listening to your favorite songs ❤️

[mindofharry]

Motion sickness G.D

chapter 6.

in which julie realises she’s only with gray because of their kids.

chapter 1-5 can be found here!

fluff, angst, swearing and cheating. feedback is welcome as always!!

TW: some of the stuff mentioned in this series might trigger some people. please don’t read if you get triggered easily!

julie lay in bed that night, awake and alone. thinking of how wrong ethans lips felt on hers. But how good it felt, being wanted. no, it’s feel so fucking amazing to be kissed like that again. she used to kill for grayson to even look her way, to just breathe in her direction. and now it’s finally happening - with ethan, and julie couldn’t help the guilt crawling in her stomach. She knew what she was doing, they both did. So julie wondered why neither of them stopped. Ethans shirt was nearly off, until she remembered both of her boys were upstairs. fuck, she nearly had sex with their uncle, he “husbands” brother. She was such a bad person, julie thought. But was it so wrong, to want to feel like that again? to want to feel loved again?

she was overthinking again - her therapist said she needed to stop doing that. to just go with the flow more. she used to be like that, until she got married and had kids. julie needed routine, she always needed something to do to take her mind off the fact that her life was going to complete shit.

julie didn’t sleep at all the night, thinking about grayson, the divorce, ethan, the boys, the woman grayson decided to cheat with. was that woman ok? was she hurting too? or was she happy, happy that she finally had grayson to herself. happy that grayson no longer had to worry about kids and a wife. Julie wanted - no, needed some answers.

she picked up her phone, taking a the charger out and letting it drop to the floor. julie squinted at the light coming from her phone, the clock read 7:30. “fuck” she mumbled to herself, bringing down the brightness. julie opened graysons contact - which she just recently unblocked. yes, she’s petty, but she had a pretty good reason to be. ‘we need to talk some more. come by for lunch. julie x’

grayson smiled when he got the text. he used to love when she would put the little kiss after every text, sometimes she’d even leave him little notes in his coats or jean pocket. it was the highlight of his day. Grayson was currently staying in his old apartment, about 20 minutes away from julie and the boys. Julie and grayson used to come down here for anniversary’s or birthdays, or just some alone time. they hadn’t done it in awhile, he missed times like that. but grayson knew he only had himself to blame, but he was willing to try again. Even if julie wouldn’t take him back, he’d be a better dad.

he bit his lip, leaning on his elbow as he texted the message. ‘i’ll be there at 1:00 pm, cant wait, G :)’. Julie had seen the message and smiled to herself, things were going to get better, she’d focus on getting the divorce, taking care of herself and giving her boys the best childhood the could possibly ask for. She just needed answers, so she could fully move on. So she could finally be at peace.

And with that julie fell back asleep, with ease. she dreamt of a peaceful life, with no cheating, no kissing your “husbands” brother, no other woman. just pure bliss - but of course that didn’t last for long. sebastian came thundering in with alexander. “sebbie, lift me up” alexander whined, and sebastian laughed “no, you baby” he said cuddling into julie. julie heard everything, but god, she just wanted to ignore it and sleep even five minutes longer. “mama” alexander sobbed stomping his foot.

julie sighed sitting up in the bed, putting on a huge smile for her youngest boy. “no crying, honey. come cuddle with mommy” she cooed bringing him up to lay on her chest, he easily calmed down laying his head down in the crook of her neck, sucking on his thumb. sebastian climbed under the covers, playing with julie’s hands.

“you ready for school next week?” julie asked kissing sebastians forehead. he just shrugged “i guess.” he whispered snuggling into his mama more. “what’s wrong, bub” julie asked concerned, he was so excited last week, he couldn’t even keep still. “i’ll just miss you, mommy” sebastian said softly, making julie smile. “i’ll miss you too” she whispered kissing his temple.

soon enough it was time to get up and get ready, they had all stayed in bed as long as they possibly could. Well, julie needed to get the house cleaned before grayson got here, she didn’t want him picking anything out today - she really wasn’t in the mood. and alexander seemed to be a little sick, probably just a cold, but julie still felt bad for him nonetheless. he was exceptionally clinging, julie loved it when he was like this. but alexander was getting older and he talked a lot, even if he didn’t fully understand the words he was speaking. she couldn’t let him hear her and gray. but how was she going to put him to sleep, when all he did was scream when she put him down?

“hello?” grayson called out, the house was messy and the only thing he could hear was the tv coming from the sitting room. julie cursed to herself when she heard gray - turns out alexander has a fever and sebastian is in a mood. and julie is just so damn tired.

“i’m in here”

grayson walked down the hall, passing all the family photos. ones from christmas and halloween, his favourite time of year. the family went dressed as the addams family, luckily sebastian wanted to wednesday and he did a damn good job at it.

he walked into the sitting room and frowned at alexander. god, he looked sick. “he’s not well. the flu i think, some of his friends down the street from has it too. he’s passed out now, so hopefully he’ll sleep for awhile” julie sighed closing her eyes. “i’m sorry, i really wanted to talk, gray” she whispered rubbing her temples, her cold hands felts nice her throbbing head. “hey, it’s ok. i get it. let me take alexander, you go and relax for a bit.” grayson said smiling, julie bit her lip and started to overthink.

“don’t overthink it. i’m his dad, let me do my job”

those words replayed in julies mind, while having her bath. was he really going to try? she hoped so, for the sake of the boys. she just needed him to grow a pair, and be the father the boys need.

once she was relaxed enough and her headache had disappeared, she arrived downstairs to alexander speaking to his dad and sebastian pouting in the corner. “look who it is, baby” grayson cooed pointing at julie. “mama” both boys screached - alexander croaked more like.

she sat down pulling alexander on to her lap and letting sebastian cuddle into her side. “why are you pouting little man” you asked and sebastian shrugged. grayson grinned, standing up, and bringing sebastian up with him, making all of you laugh. “because you wanted to cuddle with papa, huh?” grayson asked placing sebastian on his shoulders spinning him around. you giggled, making alexander copy you, he sounded like a little mouse.

the look the boys had in their eyes, was something you never wanted to leave. grayson looked like your grayson, the grayson that laughed loudly, the grayson that let you climb all over him, the grayson that carried you everywhere. he looked like your husband again.

after some pizza and a little dance party between you and sebastian, the boys feel asleep for their lunch time nap, leaving you and grayson to your dreaded talk.

“i’m glad we’re talking again” grayson voiced taking a sip from his water, from dinner. julie nodded agreeing “i think we have to get along for this to work” she said smiling. “i just want to talk about a few things, that have been on my mind. before we properly separate” julie said and grayson sighed closing his eyes, before nodding “ask away”.

“why did you cheat on me?”

graysons eyes snapped up to julies , his mouth opening, but once again he couldn’t find the words. “i....i” he started looking down at his hands. “grayson. look at me. and tell me why you ruined our marriage” julie asked sternly, making him look up at her, again.

“i was depressed. needed something to make me feel young, and good about myself” he started, before julie interrupted “and i... we weren’t enough?”

“you want honest?”he asked and julies eyes filled with tears nodding “no, you weren’t. but julie, i wasn’t mentally there, i was off my rocker. i had no idea what was happening to me, and why i didn’t feel the same anymore. i was scared and i couldn’t find anyway to tell you. i knew you were tired too. and she was there, and she... didn’t know i was married. and it just happened” grayson said his voice cracking at the end. “do you want to know how long i knew?” she asked drying her tears. “1 year. 365 days” julie sobbed, making grayson tear up. god, he hated himself so much, for hurting her this bad. “i made up excuses for you for 1 year. i parented two kids by myself for about 6 months, while you were out living your best life” julie cried, slamming a hand to the table “god, i hated you so much. i hated that i still loved you and i hated how good you looked in that damn suit” she laughed quietly.

“i’m sorry, julie”

“i can’t forgive you, but i’m moving on. i’ll never forget what you did, and the boys will find out sooner or later. but i’m willing to play nice for their sake, ok?” julie said, moving her curls out of her wet, flushed face. grayson nodded, bringing a hand to his eye, rubbing away the tears.

“we should be able to get divorced sometime next year, which is a pain in the ass.” julie sniffled, itching her scalp.

“i want to be better, julie. i’m not seeing the girl anymore. she broke things off. i want to better for you and the boys. and me. i promise” he said grabbing her free hand. julie nodded placing a hand on his.

“please don’t break this promise. it’ll break me if you do”

[grantzarrr]

Blinded e.d

warnings: smut, tiny like a tiny bit of angst, lots of fluff

summary: ethan dolan has always loved y/n, but y/n have always been blinded, that is until ethan gets a girlfriend...will she still be blinded?

Monday October 12th, 2009

“Ethan, pass the ball!” Matt shouts as he watched his friend stop for a few minutes staring into what seems like space. but no, what Ethan was staring at wasn't just space, it was, Y/n Y/l/n. a young curly haired girl that drifted out into nature, being on her own was something she thrived off, that's what 9 year old Ethan thought was ‘awesome’ a girl his age not acting so girly, thats what drew him towards her the most. “e, whatcha looking at?” Matt asked, going towards Ethan, so curious. “ughh, this stupid girl again?” Matt groaned, simply not knowing why Ethan always looked and talked about her. that’s what got Ethan to snap out of his staring and thoughts, “what did you just say?” Ethan's voice now stern. “what’s the big deal about her, she's a girl she probably has cooties!” Matt scrunched his face up at the thought of her having cooties, by now Y/n heard Matt yelling about her having cooties, and wasn’t taking that at all, but she waited to see what Ethan would say, she always thought of them as friends so why not? “she does not have cooties, shes...not those type of girls.” Ethan defended, Y/n very pleased at what he had to say and continued picking her sunflowers. “oh yeah, then prove it.” Matt battled, “well-.” he had to stop himself right there. you see ethan had no proof that she didn’t have cooties, he couldn’t say ‘because he touched her’, he would be lying, he was to nervous to even say hi. “well what?” Matt smirked knowing he was right. “hey, buddy, yeah I definitely don’t have cooties, but you wanna know what I do have, power to tell you, you can lick my butt.” Y/n chimed in, sick and tried of hearing him run his big mouth. “yeah she doesn’t have cooties, so yeah lick my butt as well.” Ethan said as he grabbed Y/n hand and squeezed it tightly. Matt huffed and threw up the middle finger, something his big brother thought him, and walked away. Y/n turned to Ethan and said “thank you, Ethan for taking up for me.” Y/n smiled “no-no problem” Ethan stuttered, trying his best to hide his nerves, “c’mon, I have some more flowers to pick, that I think you’ll like.” Y/n said as she ran towards the school’s garden, Ethan right behind her, following every step. thus leading towards Y/n and Ethan becoming inseparable.

July 2020

“bro, what if she doesn’t like me.” Ethan sighs, telling Grayson his deepest fear “bro, if she doesn’t just move on find a new girl, you’ll be fine.” Grayson says calmly as if the situation was just that easy. “gray, you don’t understand, i'm in love with her, since 4th grade i’ve been in love with her, it isn’t that easy to just move on.” Ethan confesses “then tell her.”... that has been circling around Ethan’s mind for so long ‘just tell her’, ‘why don’t you just tell her’ ‘bro, say something to her’, but he can’t over the fear of her simply not liking him back er- loving him back. 

“y/n are you going to Tristan party Friday?” Ethan asked, this is the night he is gonna ask her out, he was so excited yet nervous. “of course, e, you know me better than anyone, you know i’m going.” of course Ethan knew she was going, he listened to her tell her ‘other’ friends, people that wasn’t Ethan. God, Y/n, why are you so in my head, you’re my friend. Ethan thought. but he couldn’t help it, he was gonna give her one more chance to notice so he made a plan.

perfect, now if everything goes as planned Ethan should lose his virginity to Y/n and Y/n should lose her’s to him, perfect. Ethan rethought this plan over and over in his head, fuck, imagine how tight she’ll be, how perfect she’ll taste, how perfect she’ll look when I'm fucking her in- “e!” Grayson interrupted his thoughts and plan to jerk off, “what.” Ethan groaned desperately trying to make this conversation go faster “I found a girl for you, and hopefully you can move on from Y/n.”...WHAT, no fuck you, I dont want another girl, I want Y/n nobody else. Ethan thought, but he didn’t wanna lash out on his brother and tell him, he’s a fucking idiot, in front of this sweet looking girl. so he pushed it aside. “uh hi-.” Ethan didn’t even get to finish his sentence because..“omg ethan, I love you so much, and I would be soooo happy if I was your girlfriend, and yeah fuck this bitch Y/n, I'm so much better, you’ll see, baby!” she screamed out, obviously just a raging fan instead of a lover of interest, but Ethan being the person he was, was not gonna be mean but when she said ‘fuck this bitch Y/n’ he lost it. “yo, watch what the fuck you say about her, there is no fucking way i’m gonna like you, if you dont fucking respect my best friend” Grayson gasped, not knowing his twin could lash out over...Y/n. maybe this was serious, maybe he wasn’t in love..he was obsessed? “whoa, Ethan you’re feisty, I love you even more.” she said, now latching on to him, seemingly loving this. “I don’t think I want you as my girlfriend or anything.” Ethan sighed “bro, think about it, you’ll have a new girl that you can get to love and you’ll be happy, just give her a week, and if you don’t get to like her, you can go back to Y/n.” Grayson said, trying to get him away from Y/n...but why, why was he trying so hard to keep him away from her? was he hiding something? was Y/n hiding something from Ethan, that Grayson know? why? “okay fine, but why are you trying to keep me away from Y/n?” Ethan asked, curiosity flowing through his mind “I don’t wanna see you hurt bro, what if, she doesn’t like you, I know you’ll be crushed, i’m protecting you.” well, shit, he does understand.

“Grayson, wheres e?” Y/n asked. “with his girlfriend, their suppose to be doing couple crafts or some.”... gone. girlfriend. couples crafts. wait what, girlfriend!? “he has girlfriend!?” she shouted “yeah, for about three days now.”...why didn’t he tell me, why did he hide it. she thought, then there's a blockage forming in her throat, was she about to cry, was she jealous, what is going on with her. she couldn’t take it so she just let it burst out, causing her tears, running down her face. “y/n what’s wrong, why are you crying.” Grayson holding on stopping her from falling to the ground. “ethan- sniffs- girl- cry’s friend.” full sobs stopping her form talking. “whoa, calm down, I thought you only saw Ethan as a bestfriend?” Grayson asked “well not until now.”...not until she realized how beautiful he was inside and out, how thoughtful he’ll be when she was feeling bad or when her birthday come or holidays. how gentle he’ll hold her, when she’s upset and telling her everything will be okay. oh how she loved him so, loved him so much more than just a friend, she wanted him to be her’s. “gray, I-I wanna be with him.” she croaked out, he took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say “y/n, look you can’t just say you want him when he has someone, when he have gave you so many chances, you just cant, all these years and you've only cared about you, how you were feeling then call Ethan to be your savior.” “I never noticed, I never thought once on how he felt.” oh, that sounds so bad “see, you fucking see, how you never once thought of his feelings, it’s like you’re so BLINDED on yourself you never think of anyone!” Grayson raising his voice, now fully angry at this. “no.” she sobbed “no, I do think of his feelings, I care about him and his feelings, I always have, I just never realized.”

“well yeah he does, okay, will did now he has Katy.” Grayson huffed 

Katy? Katy Mc’Grain? “does she have long blonde hair?” she asked, pleading it's not her. “yes, and has a butterfly tattoo on her left shoulder, why?” 

omg- it’s Katy Mc’Grain, Y/n ex friend from a year ago that sworn to hurt the thing that meant most to her. now what caused this is simply because Y/n forced her to go to rehab, addiction she struggled with Y/n thought she helped, that is until, the workers that took Katy in, call Y/n on the 3rd day at 4am that Katy had escaped and left a note for Y/n saying ‘you will not forget me, I will take out what means the most to you, just like you did to me’...and that's Ethan, and they went to a ‘couples craft’ holy shit, they gotta save e  

“gray, shit, we gotta go!” Y/n yelled “what, why?” 

“i’ll explain on the way there, let’s jus-.” she got cut off my the front door opening, it was Ethan, “Gray she wasn’t the one.” Ethan sighed “bro, I honestly think its Y/n, like no matter- Y/n?” He eyes widened, and as always his heartbeat started beating rapidly. “ethan, I love so much, even more than just a friend.” was this a joke? is she lying? “what?” is all Ethan can crack out “ethan i’ve realized that you are the one, it’s you, it's you that is always there, always helping me, and i’ve been so blinded and-.” he kissed her, something he’s been wanting to do since forever but never thought he would get too. as they pulled away it was just like breath had been token away, no one could speak, they just stared into each other eyes, goofy looking smiles on each other faces. this is the moment Ethan knew he wanted to make love to her, he looked at Grayson giving him, that, look. “well, i’ll leave you guys to it.” Grayson laughed, having a good feeling about this and leaving the house.  

“baby, let me make love to you.” Ethan whispered in her ear, Y/n withering under him, in nothing but underwear. Ethan started kissing her next softly, waiting on a answer. Y/n nodded profusely, wanting the aching in her legs to end. “gonna need words, princess.” Ethan chuckled at her eagerness. “yes, yes, Ethan please, need something.” 

“as you wish, my love.” 

Ethan kissed down her body slowly and softly, being a huge tease. once he finally reached the top of her laced panties, he kissed the top of the little bow and pulled them down her legs, “mm, so wet for me baby, I haven’t even done anything?” his ego getting huge, once they were off he started kissing her clit, going lower, lower, and lower. “"that's something for another time, I wanna feel you.” he stated 

“i’ll go slow, okay.” she nodded watching as he pulled his huge rock hard cock, out his boxers, Ethan noticed her eyes widened, and chuckled “don’t worry baby, I’ll go slow, I promise.” He was half in, Y/n eyes closed shut as he kissed along her neck, whispering small little nothing’s. 

he’s all the way now, still kissing her neck, trying to easy the pain “move please.” he heard softly, looking up at her, eyes wide. “you sure?” he asked “fuck, yes.” she moaned and that's what drove him to go, as his hips moved faster, her moans grew more and became louder.

for Ethan, jacking off was nothing compared to the tightness of her pussy, his fist could never be as tight, as wet, as perfect than her pussy. for Y/n her fingers, dildo or vibrator could come as close to Ethan’s dick, how big and thick he was, how good he could instantly find her g-spot, penetrated her so good.

“fuck, Ethan i'm gonna cum!” she shouted “right behind you, baby.”                            

“so, are we gonna go to Tristan’s party as an official couple?” Ethan asked, she giggled and nodded, snuggling closer to her boyfriend. “wait, so that means we’re dating now?”, “go to bed Ethan.” 

[essentiallychaotic]

-> the rules are to answer questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better :)

I was tagged by @evilibra 💖💜💙

name/nickname: McKenzi

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries

height: 5’9” so i think 175cm?

time currently: 00:16

when is your birthday: april 5

nationality: american

favourite band/groups: all time low, monsta x, shinee, the rose, seventeen

favourite solo artists: halsey, sunmi, hozier, LP, hayley kiyoko

song stuck in your head: gimme gimme - nct 127 (i watched the mv today and my brain latched onto the way they sing the “loveholic” bit and is refusing to let go lmaooo)

last movie you watched: twilight (dont @ me its a brain comfort movie)

last show you binged: havent actually binged anything lately bc my brain refuses to focus on any one thing for too long, that said i’ve been watching gilmore girls and strangers from hell this week

when you created your blog: uummm I think december 2010, bc it was xmas break of my senior year in high school

last thing you googled: i was looking up the vertical gain for a trail nearish to where i live

other blogs: none that i’ve done anything on in years, for all i know they’ve been deleted lmaoo

why i chose my url: i wanted something that i wouldn’t have to change as my interests changed and it seemed to fit the bill ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many people are you following: 135

how many followers do you have: idk somewhere over 300 which is WILD

average hours of sleep: anywhere from 6 to 12 it’s honestly a wildcard

lucky number: 5 (kasey same hat!)

instruments: i can rock a kazoo like a badass

what i’m currently wearing: fluffy rainbow socks, my uni sweats, superm jopping hoodie, and the hat i just finished knitting bc its comfy and warm and why not lmao (its based off of the hat bella wears to la push in the first movie and i have Zero regrets bc it’s a fun knitting pattern and I’ve always loved that hat)

dream job: idk man maybe a poet/artist, possibly a professional runner ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

dream trip: right now? anywhere my bros are (#theronamood) in general? korea, new zealand, australia,

favourite food: mangoes, kimchi jjigae, bigos, grilled cheese, bananas

favourite song: seoul - rm, basement noise - all time low, and i’m here - kim kyung hee (i couldn’t pick just one)

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: seconding kasey’s ‘one with no concept of money’, maybe julie e czerneda’s species imperative series, aaaaaand... idk at 8 i read lotr and desperately wanted to live in that universe so we’ll go with that

I’m tagging @skittles-pixie @butts-of-the-barricade @hosnack @tiny-cryptograms @abunnycotton @inktaire @shalanos @sunny-day-sky and anybody who wants to do this ^-^ (for real pls do, the only reason I’m not tagging more people is i’m tired and on mobile and cant remember who to tag lol)

[terracyte]

thank you @hi-raethia for tagging me!! ily kai <33

answer 30 questions and tag 20 people

1. name/nickname: hey its me, ya boi, terra (my first ever internet friend called me that after they forgot my actual name and i never looked back <3)

2. gender: female

3. star sign: cancer

4. height: haven’t checked but i cant be taller than 5′3

5. time: 11:52 pm

6. birthday: july 4th (no cake or fireworks, only specialty fried rice)

7. favorite bands/ groups: the score, neoni, neffex, caravan palace

8. favorite solo artist: forrest, takayan, khai dreams, potsu, snail’s house, yeah i have exactly one vibe what about it

9. song stuck in my head: all of them and constantly

10: last movie: finally finished my lotr binge, the return of the king was amazing as always

11. last show: fma:b babyyy

12. when did i create this blog: created maybe 4 years to reblog cool art, i still do that now but recently started sprinkling my own mediocre stuff in there 

13. what do i post: atla art/ writing, and stuff that makes me go :) or :”)

14. last thing i googled: “why are hong kong pineapple buns called that if they have no pineapple” 

15. other blogs: none! this is an all in one :V

16. do i get asks: not too many but i would love to get more! :)

17. why did i choose this url: its based off my initials, i keysmashed until i got something halfway pronounceable and here we are :)

18. following: 200 or so

19. followers: recently hit round 250, i have no idea why but i treasure you all greatly

20: average hours of sleep: 6-7 

21: lucky number: always vibed with 3

22. instruments: piano, clarinet, violin, kalimba, and if i try super hard i can kinda play the harmonica

23. what am i wearing: sweatshirt and sweatpants even though i am never sweating

24. dream job: architect maybe, but thats pretty ambitious huh

25. dream trip: i just wanna move to canada, get me outta here

26:  favorite food: gonna have to say hong kong style borscht

27. nationality: chinese american, or as my family so lovingly puts it, a banana

28. favorite song: can't choose, my music taste is like a roulette wheel

29. last book read: come on now you cant expect me to remember 

30. 3 fictional universes you’d like to live in: atla verse, middle earth (oh to be a hobbit in the shire with no responsibilities but my farm), as long as it isn’t a dystopian young adult novel i will go

i’ll tag @gracedbill @theyweretooyoung @zukosaturtle-duck @marriedzukka @huanism @paintedpatroclus @japanese @haiyah if any of you would like to! dont feel obligated and feel free to ignore :) and anyone else who wants to, please feel free!