#like why aren't we talking in german

[lexa-el-amin]

I'll try to keep it short lol

Also tw sexual assault

Im a little fuzzy on the exact details, but Die Marquise von O.... is an atrocious novella by Heinrich von Kleist (the tormentor of my Deutsch LK times) in which the eponymous protagonist gets caught up in a military attack and saved from sexual assault from an enemy soldier. A couple of months later it turns out she is pregnant even though she swears up and down she is still pure and is super scared of wtf is happening. Her father considers her sullied and disowns her for having been taken advantage of, I guess!?

So she is shunned and has to live on the streets for a while until someone offers to marry her and claim the child as his to restore her dignity and would you know, it's the soldier who saved her from bein assaulted. Only it turns out that after he saved her, she lost consciousness, and then he took advantage of her. And the time skip of when she's unconscious is marked by a line that is empty save for the goddamn Gedankenstrich, which is pointed out every time people talk about this scum of classic literature. But like, that's totally fine! He's offering to marry her now so she won't be shunned and disowned anymore, what a hero. Then there's a gratuitous incest making up bu making out scene between the Marquise and her father and she begrudgingly and quite unhappily accepts the soldier's proposal to avoid yk. Starving.

Which is bad enough, but the whole thing ends with another time skip to the Marquise and her husband and child living in the countryside as a family, and the Marquise deciding that actually, this is fine and she'll try to be a better wife now that she's forgiven her man. The whole story is basically just Noblewoman gets saved - Oh what, she's pregnant and unmarried? Cast her out! / Look isn't this guy such a hero for confessing to his assault and offering to marry the bad immoral woman and take responsibility for the pregnancy he caused? / Make Out With Your Father To Reconcile / No one faces any consequences and look! She's happy now so it can't have been that bad!

Horror, hate, beim Abi hab ich auf Lücke gelernt.

yikes, I feel blessed now that I had Prinz von Homburg by Kleist instead of this shit show. Also Woyzeck and Buddenbrooks (which I never finished reading and the Abitur exam was about the second part of the book).

[katrafiy]

I think about this image a lot. This is an image from the Aurat March (Women's March) in Karachi, Pakistan, on International Women's Day 2018. The women in the picture are Pakistani trans women, aka khwaja siras or hijras; one is a friend of a close friend of mine.

In the eyes of the Pakistani government and anthropologists, they're a "third gender." They're denied access to many resources that are available to cis women. Trans women in Pakistan didn't decide to be third-gendered; cis people force it on them whether they like it or not.

Western anthropologists are keen on seeing non-Western trans women as culturally constructed third genders, "neither male nor female," and often contrast them (a "legitimate" third gender accepted in its culture) with Western trans women (horrific parodies of female stereotypes).

There's a lot of smoke and mirrors and jargon used to obscure the fact that while each culture's trans women are treated as a single culturally constructed identity separate from all other trans women, cis women are treated as a universal category that can just be called "women."

Even though Pakistani aurat and German Frauen and Guatemalan mujer will generally lead extraordinarily different lives due to the differences in culture, they are universally recognized as women.

The transmisogynist will say, "Yes, but we can't ignore the way gender is culturally constructed, and hijras aren't trans women, they're a third gender. Now let's worry less about trans people and more about the rights of women in Burkina Faso."

In other words, to the transmisogynist, all cis women are women, and all trans women are something else.

"But Kat, you're not Indian or Pakistani. You're not a hijra or khwaja sira, why is this so important to you?"

Have you ever heard of the Neapolitan third gender "femminiello"? It's the term my moniker "The Femme in Yellow" is derived from, and yes, I'm Neapolitan. Shut up.

I'm going to tell you a little bit about the femminielli, and I want you to see if any of this sounds familiar. Femminielli are a third gender in Neapolitan culture of people assigned male at birth who have a feminine gender expression.

They are lauded and respected in the local culture, considered to be good omens and bringers of good luck. At festivals you'd bring a femminiello with you to go gambling, and often they would be brought in to give blessings to newborns. Noticing anything familiar yet?

Oh and also they were largely relegated to begging and sex work and were not allowed to be educated and many were homeless and lived in the back alleys of Naples, but you know we don't really like to mention that part because it sounds a lot less romantic and mystical.

And if you're sitting there, asking yourself why a an accurate description of femminiello sounds almost note for note like the same way hijras get described and talked about, then you can start to understand why that picture at the start of this post has so much meaning for me.

And you can also start to understand why I get so frustrated when I see other queer people buy into this fool notion that for some reason the transes from different cultures must never mix.

That friend I mentioned earlier is a white American trans woman. She spent years living in India, and as I recal the story the family she was staying with saw her as a white, foreign hijra and she was asked to use her magic hijra powers to bless the house she was staying in.

So when it comes to various cultural trans identities there are two ways we can look at this. We can look at things from a standpoint of expressed identity, in which case we have to preferentially choose to translate one word for the local word, or to leave it untranslated.

If we translate it, people will say we're artificially imposing an outside category (so long as it's not cis people, that's fine). If we don't, what we're implying, is that this concept doesn't exist in the target language, which suggests that it's fundamentally a different thing

A concrete example is that Serena Nanda in her 1990 and 2000 books, bent over backwards to say that Hijras are categorically NOT trans women. Lots of them are!

And Don Kulick bent over backwards in his 1998 book to say that travesti are categorically NOT trans women, even though some of the ones he cited were then and are now trans women.

The other option, is to look at practice, and talk about a community of practice of people who are AMAB, who wear women's clothing, take women's names, fulfill women's social roles, use women's language and mannerisms, etc WITHIN THEIR OWN CULTURAL CONTEXT.

This community of practice, whatever we want to call it - trans woman, hijra, transfeminine, femminiello, fairy, queen, to name just a few - can then be seen to CLEARLY be trans-national and trans-cultural in a way that is not clearly evident in the other way of looking at things.

And this is important, in my mind, because it is this axis of similarity that is serving as the basis for a growing transnational transgender rights movement, particularly in South Asia. It's why you see pictures like this one taken at the 2018 Aurat March in Karachi, Pakistan.

And it also groups rather than splits, pointing out not only points of continuity in the practices of western trans women and fa'afafines, but also between trans women in South Asia outside the hijra community, and members of the hijra community both trans women and not.

To be blunt, I'm not all that interested in the word trans woman, or the word hijra. I'm not interested in the word femminiello or the word fa'afafine.

I'm interested in the fact that when I visit India, and I meet hijras (or trans women, self-expressed) and I say I'm a trans woman, we suddenly sit together, talk about life, they ask to see American hormones and compare them to Indian hormones.

There is a shared community of practice that creates a bond between us that cis people don't have. That's not to say that we all have the exact same internal sense of self, but for the most part, we belong to the same community of practice based on life histories and behavior.

I think that's something cis people have absolutely missed - largely in an effort to artificially isolate trans women. This practice of arguing about whether a particular "third gender" label = trans women or not, also tends to artificially homogenize trans women as a group.

You see this in Kulick and Nanda, where if you read them, you could be forgiven for thinking all American trans women are white, middle class, middle-aged, and college-educated, who all follow rigid codes of behavior and surgical schedules prescribed by male physicians.

There are trans women who think of themselves as separate from cis women, as literally another kind of thing, there are trans women who think of themselves as coterminous with cis women, there are trans women who think of themselves as anything under the sun you want to imagine.

The problem is that historically, cis people have gone to tremendous lengths to destroy points of continuity in the transgender community (see everything I've cited and more), and particularly this has been an exercise in transmisogyny of grotesque levels.

The question is do you want to talk about culturally different ways of being trans, or do you want to try to create as many neatly-boxed third genders as you can to prop up transphobic theoretical frameworks? To date, people have done the latter. I'm interested in the former.

I guess what I'm really trying to say with all of this is that we're all family y'all.

[max1461]

Thinking about this post. "The only way to make a cell is from another cell" is somewhat of a troubling fact to me. I mean, not for any practical reason, just because it underscores the precarity of *gestures broadly*.

It's like, some people talk about trying to de-extinct the mammoth. And people are trying to sequence the genome of the mammoth, I don't know if they've done it yet. But even if they do, one of the problems with the idea of de-extinction is... to grow a baby mammoth, you need another mammoth! Last time I heard people talking about this, I think they were talking about using an elephant as a surrogate mother. But imagine if elephants were extinct too.

The point is that information is often tied to the systems that transmit it; even if you know everything in the mammoth genome, once all the mammoths are gone there's nothing capable of reading and using that information. Like when you can't read the data on a perfectly good floppy disk because your computer doesn't have a floppy drive.

This is related to why language death troubles me so much. Even the most well-documented languages aren't actually that well understood; linguists have produced more pages of work on English syntax than maybe any other specific descriptive topic and yet still the only reliable way to get the answer to any moderately subtle syntactic question is elicit native speaker data. We know almost nothing, we can barely extrapolate at all! And every language is like this, a hugely complex system that we know basically nothing about, and if the chain of native speaker transmission is ever broken it's just gone.

"Language revival", I mean from a totally dead language, is kind of a myth. It's like the "came back different" trope. In Israel they revived Hebrew, but Modern Hebrew is really not the same thing as Biblical Hebrew at all. I mean in a stronger sense even than Modern English isn't Old English. All the subtleties of Biblical Hebrew that a native speaker would have had implicit competence with died without a trace. All they left is a grainy image, the texts. The first generation of Modern Hebrew speakers took the rough grammatical sketch preserved in these texts and imbued it with new subtleties, borrowed from Slavic and Germanic and the speakers' other native languages, or converged at by consensus among that first generation of children. There's nothing wrong with that, but it would be inaccurate to imagine Biblical Hebrew surviving in Modern Hebrew the way Old English survives in Modern English. For instance, you can discover a great deal that you didn't know about Old English by comparing Modern English dialects. There is nothing you can discover about Biblical Hebrew by comparing Modern Hebrew dialects in this way.

There's nothing wrong with this, of course. I'm not like, judging Modern Hebrew. I'm just making a point.

Mammoths died recently, so we still have (some of?) their genome. Something that died longer ago, like dinosaurs, we have traces of them in the form of fossils but we could never hope to revive them, the information is just gone. Even if we're not aiming for revival, even if we just want to know stuff about dinosaurs, there's so much that we will never know and can never know.

We imagine information as the kind of thing which sits in an archive, because this is the context most of us encounter information in, I think. Libraries, hard drives. Well obviously hard drives don't last. And most ancient texts only survive because of a scribal tradition, continuous re-writing, not because of actual archival. So I think that imagining archives as the natural habitat of information is sort of wrong; the natural habit of information is in continuous transmission. Information is constantly moving. And it's like one of those sharks, if it ever stops moving it drowns. And if the lines of transmission are broken, the information is gone and can never be retrieved.

Very precarious.

[beybuniki]

Best MHA teacher in your opinion?

*puts pedagogical glasses on* i think aizawa is a great teacher :D

i made a pot about this before but let me say it againnnn, while i understand why people like to assign parental roles to the mentors in bnha (and it def isn't that serious to each their own don't kill me), i think it is a bit of a disservice to imply that the role of the mentor has to be "elevated" to a parental one in order to do them justice.

yes aizawa sensei does fill a somewhat paternal role, but i personally think that role is exclusive to Eri. Other than that, I think he is a teacher to the other students and he's great at it :)

I don't think horikoshi did it on purpose but i love that Aizawa sensei has what we call pedagogic tact (he a short definition i found in english, all of my papers on this are in german sorri)

bnha has a lot of moments that emphasize Aizawa's situational awareness & interpersonal skills etc. like while he's a strict and highly consequential teacher who doesn't mince words, he knows when to compromise rules, be more lenient, and communicate with his students on a more personal, intimate level.

I love that horikoshi shows this pretty often through aizawa's body language; Aizawa sensei kneels down pretty often to talk to Eri or Deku like that is so importantttt, he also sits down when he talks to Aoyama idk these small gestures are important when you talk to kids and I like that Horikoshi emphasizes that, too. Aizawa's body language is instark contrast to someone like Endeavor, who intentionally uses his intimidating size and fire to emphasize a power imbalance but back to Aizawa

I also love that he goes easy on Yaomomo early in the manga like why he usually does not hold back because villains wouldn't hold back, either, he clearly prioritizes the long-term goal of strengthening yaomomo's confidence by giving her a sense of achievement like that is his pedagogical tact!

i think he could've handled deku and bakugo's conflict better but i guess he didn't for the sake of plot lmao, would've loved to see him put them in a sports club where they could vent their frustration and feeling in a safe environment lol

i think Aizawa represents a good balance of what makes a good teacher, he teaches with confidence because he's a great hero (expert), is consequential & has great situational awareness etc. (conductor), but he also knows when to compromise his austerity for sake of a more personal, intimate dynamic with his students (pedagogue). he feels very grounded to me i think horikoshi did a good job at portraying a healthy teacher-student relationship because tbh i don't need ever ficitonal teacher to be a pseduo-parent, especially when these kids already have parents lmao

which brings me back to the beginning, the parameters of what make a good teacher aren't the same as the parameters for good parenting, there are big overlaps ofc, but the goal of being a good teacher isn't that your students see you as their mommy or daddy, yes building a relationship with your students is rlly important but there's more than that and I think Aizawa sensei balances those aspects pretty well :D

[lexirosewrites]

Vague role reversal for slick sunday wherein Eddie is a popular top of the food chain alpha, while steve is on the peripheral as an omega

O!Steve might have rich parents tht aren't around, but he's struggled to read at the same pace as his peers for years, numbers sometimes get mixed up, he's seen as strange for his interests, & ppl tend to overlook him in a room which is what he's convinced himself he prefers. He might read slowly but he retains nearly everything he reads, he's very good in history class, he's got an emotional intelligence unmatched. In this AU Steve is the founder of Hellfire, he doesn't DM entire campaigns only one shots or short little jaunts but he owns every book & has a lot of knowledge abt the rules. Steve has taken German every year at Hawkins high & that's how he meets & forms a bond w A!Robin. She joins Hellfire only to sit around & eat snacks & heckle the DM on the behalf of the players. While he's socially vulnerable he's often left alone from physical bullying bc his parents had him attend first a karate class then an aikido class since he was 12 in Indianapolis so he defends himself well.

A!Eddie on the other hand presents as an alpha early, he starts developing the physical strength associated w an alpha, he's a faster runner than before, he joins the track & field team, he becomes the plug for weed & pills once he's a sophomore in highschool, he laughs loud & doesnt necessarily stop the worst of the bullying but is still a gentleman to alpha & beta women & all the omegas, even Steve when he rarely notices him. He dates A!Nancy Wheeler, invites her to a small bonfire in the woods near the trailer park, B!Barb comes along, Barb goes missing (is killed) after everyone breaks off in couples to make out/have sex, season 1 happens pretty much the same for Nancy except Steve's role/redemption is Eddie

Will Byers goes missing & Steve approaches fellow bottom feeder B!Jonathan Byers w condolences & the statistic tht when a child goes missing its more likely to b a family member, when Jonathan goes to confront his dad Steve & Robin tag along. When tht leads nowhere Steve & Robin r told by Jonathan to not get further involved. Wills fake body is found. Then season 1 happens pretty much the same with Steve & Robin only having a peripheral involvement.

Season 2 happens, Billy tries a few times to corner Steve but Hellfire r protective especially Robin, & Steve uses aikido to throw Billy around by using his mass & inertia against him ending the confrontation by giving Billy a broken nose, Billy ends up giving up bc he gets more concerned w dragging 2nd year senior Eddie down & harassing the vulnerable black kid Max has been seen with, season 2 ends w Steve having to repeat senior year and Eddie has to repeat for the 3rd time despite Nancy's attempts to help.

Season 3: Steve doesn't get entirely cut off but his allowance is reduced by A LOT, steve & robin get summer jobs at Scoops Ahoy. Dustin goes to Eddie with the transmission but neither speaks Russian. When their caught talking abt it not so subtly while indulging in ice cream at Scoops Ahoy near closing Robin straight up calls all 3 of them out while stobin lean against the counter judging them. Dustin is a smart ass but when Robin reveals she's a polyglot the 3 start to include her, ignoring Steve & Steve convinces himself he isn't hurt. Then Steve hears music in the transmission & as they're all walking out he has the eureka moment of the ride. Season 3 happens & stobin still end up as the ones trapped by the Russians except Robin does her best to divert their attention to her in this AU, they get drugged & rescued by Dustin Erica & Eddie

Billy dies. Max has very mixed feelings abt it while Steve is relieved bc Billy had continued to harass him all summer

Idk how season 4 goes but I do know we get steddie & buckingham even if Vecna isn't defeated

idk why omega Steve being at the bottom of the food chain is so appealing to me, but it is and then the idea of alpha Eddie eventually pursuing him is so much more fun!

[minkyungseokie]

第二章 | Moving and Meeting the Boss

warnings; age gap love(R: 23, S:39, T: 50), gxg, throuple, controversial age gaps, random German and Scottish pet names, topics of eating that aren't ED related, but might be triggering to some, DeepL translated languages. Untranslated Chinese, French, and other languages

note; okay! second chapter is now ready. I might start another series based on driver x reader x wag. I sort of rushed through this. I also changed a couple of things

She now contracted meningitis during her F2 days and that was the reason for her leaving, but she told people it was the lack of funds

There has something to do with eating, but it's not an ED

The eating thing is based off of a very adorable mukbang YouTuber named Tzuyang. I also never been to Monaco, so Idk how everything works

Realized she should have a last name since she's Felix's sister

note2; please give me requests for moodboards, blurbs, smaus, or anything else you want for this series. Or just request anything as long as you read my rules and how to request thing

fc; imleslie(Y/n), xavier serrano(Aaron Antognelli), blanca soler(Chiara Lorenzi)

Come Talk to Me

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I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.

DO NOT ask me to update this story. I'll update when I can.

Anyway, only accepting 10 more people to be tagged

Buckle up! This is a long one!!!!!!!!

(My god, Susie is so fucking pretty that I might actually cry)

In the now packed-up house, Y/n gazed around. "Are you all packed up?" Her brother asked as he crossed his arms next to her. Chan sighed, "I'm going to miss coming over to your house and hanging out," he said, looking around the house. With a soft smile that showed off her sharp teeth, Y/n looked at her brother, "He'll miss popping by my house during random times when the homeless orphans don't have work to do and mooching off me until he needs to go home to Korea." Y/n teased, pinching his freckled cheeks.

Chan giggled at Felix's expression and looked away, clearing his throat when Felix's glare turned to him. The long-haired male slapped his sister's hand away gently and tried to keep his scowl before giving up and breaking out into smiles as laughs filled the room. "For real though, I am going to miss you." Felix said, opening his arms for Y/n to enter, "Aw, I'm going to miss you too, but you can come visit me anytime you want in Monaco." Y/n offered, pulling back.

"You too, Channie. You and the rest of the derelict unparented are free to come visit me in Monaco when you want." Y/n said, opening her arms up to the shorter male. "Why does this feel like I'm sending my little sister off?" Chan asked, gladly accepting the hug that was offered, "You are basically family, mate." Felix assured, wrapping his arms around both his sister and his best friend. The group continued to hug until there was a loud honk heard in front of the house, "Well, I guess we should get this stuff into the truck." Y/n said, letting go of the two singers to grab one of the nearest boxes.

Y/n lugged the box to the truck where a mover stood, ready to grab the box from her hands and put it in the truck, "I'll take that, sir." The worker offered. Y/n froze and stared at the mover, "Excuse me?" Y/n asked, "Oh? Did I say something wrong?" The worker questioned, looking at Y/n with a raised eyebrow, "I am not a man. Please don't assume because I have masculine features." Y/n said, steeling her nerves. Y/n wasn't a confrontational person, but over the years, resentment had built up enough for her to tell someone off when they called her a man.

Her boobs were prominent enough for people to know that she wasn't a man and she was wearing a sports bra with flannel, how the hell did the man assume she was one as well? "I'm sorry, I didn't know--" "I think you did know, but it's whatever. Don't do it again." Y/n huffed, turning around and walking away.

Y/n entered the home again and grabbed a box aggressively, huffing dramatically. Felix and Chan shared looks before putting the boxes they had in their possession down, "Hey, what's wrong?" Chan questioned.

Y/n shook her head, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. She sometimes felt like it was irrational of her to get so upset by someone assuming she was a man, but at the same time, anyone would get upset by being called the wrong gender.

Y/n squared her shoulders and picked up another box before turning to look at the two with a smile, "It's nothing, mate. Just a bit of an annoyance." Y/n then turned and walked out with the box in her hands.

The trio made their way back and forth until all the boxes were in the truck. Now, they stood on the lawn watching as the movers grabbed the furniture and loaded it onto the truck, "Y'know, we're actually going to miss you." Chan spoke up, continuing to watch the movers work. "I know. That's why I said you're free to visit me in Monaco. I'll also try to visit you and in Seoul whenever I can." Y/n assured, throwing her arms around each of the boy's shoulders and giving them an awkward side hug.

"We know. We'll try to visit when we can too." Felix said, laying his head on her arm with Changbin following suit, "We're done, ma'am. We'll be taking this to the sea freight now unless there is something else you need." The mover looked at the tall half-Asian with a pointed look, asking if there was anything she needed or if were they good.

"You're good to go. Thank you." Y/n said, nodding at the mover. The trio watched as the movers packed up and drove away, "What time do you leave?" Felix asked after a few moments of silence, "Three o'clock in the morning. Seeing as my insomnia is so bad that I can't fall asleep, I'll probably be up and out by two. Do you mind dropping my keys off at the realtor office safe drop box? I won't be able to do it since I leave at three." Y/n said.

"Yeah, we can do that. We'll be dropping you off anyway." Chan nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

"Yah, wake up. It's two." Felix hissed as if there were others in the house.

Y/n groaned and swatted Felix's hands away before turning onto her side and snuggling into the blankets, "Y/n, it's time to wake up." Chan said, joining Felix at the side of the hotel bed Y/n was sleeping in. The two put their hands on her and looked at each other, nodding before violently shaking Y/n back and forth.

"搞什么鬼?!" Y/n yelled in Chinese after being woken up so violently, turning to stare at her brothers with wide eyes, "Sorry, you wouldn't wake up, so we decided to shake you until you woke up." Chan snickered, signing as he spoke, looking away as Y/n glared at him and Felix. 

Y/n sighed and threw the blankets off of her body, "Jesus, dude. You could've kept trying to wake me up gently." The dark-haired woman scowled, reaching over to grab the external part of her cochlear implant and the hearing aid for her other ear. Felix grabbed the hearing aid and helped her put it into her ear, "When are you getting your other cochlear?" Felix questioned, making sure the volume was on the level Y/n always kept it on.

"I get the second implant after I start my new job. I'll have to tell the boss about it as soon I do the interview. Especially since I forgot to tell her about my lack of hearing." Y/n mumbled, looking at Chan and Felix from the side since she knew that they would be giving her judgy looks.

Y/n turned to see that they were indeed giving her disappointed looks as if she wasn't taller than Chan, older than Felix, and more intimidating than the both of them combined. "Stop looking at me like that! I was trying to get the application in as fast as I could. I simply just...forgot to put it on my application." Y/n explained, looking down and scratching her cheek. When she looked back up, they were still looking at her with disappointment, "Stop looking at me like you're my parents and I just got caught smoking a fat one....or something cause I wouldn't know how they would look at me." Y/n quickly added the second part and gave the two boys a awkward smile.

Felix and Chan sighed in unison, "Okay, well, I guess we can't really be that upset with you since you'll be telling her face-to-face. Get up and get ready. Felix picked out some clothes for you to wear." Chan said, pointing to the end of the bed where some clothes were laid out for her, Y/n sighed, running a hand through her thick hair, "Okay, whatever. Please move out of the way." 

Chan stepped back as Y/n swung her long legs over the side of the bed and planted her feet onto the floor, grabbing the clothes and studying them before going to the bathroom to get changed while Felix and Chan checked to make sure that everything was properly packed. Y/n exited the bathroom wearing a pair of high waisted brown trousers, a white collared button down with a brown, beige and white sweater vest one top.

Y/n sat down on the bed and picked up the socks that were sitting on the bed, putting them on while Felix and Chan continued to talk, "Y/n, do you want to get some McDonald's on the way or something?" Felix asked.

"I just want a coffee and a bagel honestly. We can get something from the bagel shop nearby. I heard they have some good bagels and coffee." Y/n suggested, putting on her boots and grabbing the glasses that were on the nightstand next to the bed. "I'm down." Chan said, looking to Felix, "I'm okay with that." The blonde shrugged, grabbing Y/n's suitcase and pulling it out into the hallway.

Y/n stood up and looked around, making sure that she had left nothing on the ground

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Y/n turned and looked at her brother as she got ready to board the plane, "Okay, so you'll call when you've landed in Monaco, right?" Felix inquired, holding her wrists lightly. Y/n rolled her eyes and chuckled, "I promise that I'll call you as soon as I get to my new home in Monaco. Don't worry about me. Just make sure that you take care of yourself. All of you." Y/n gave a pointed look at Chan.

"What? Why'd you look at me like that?" Chan chuckled nervously, "I'm telling you to take care of yourself. You tend not to do that." Y/n joked, looking him in the side. Chan jumped away as if he was shocked and held his side, "No promises, but I'll try."

"Flight 35 A is now boarding."

Y/n looked over at where people were beginning to line up, "Alright, it seems I've got to go." The girl pointed behind her with a thumb. Felix pulled his sister into a hug and laid his head on her shoulder, "You better call me when you land. I'll fly to Monaco myself if you don't." He said voice muffled into her sweater vest.

"Okay, let go. I have to board." Y/n groaned, pushing the blonde away from her playfully, "See you, Y/n." Chan said, giving the girl a quick hug. Y/n grabbed her carry-on and boarded the plane, "Make sure the other Stray Animals are around when I call. I want to talk to all of you." Y/n spoke.

After a long flight, of which she slept through most, she hopped off the flight feeling groggy and completely disoriented. To be quite honest, she just wanted to go to sleep in a bed with thick blankets and the fan blasting on her face so she didn't overheat while sleeping. The thing was, she wouldn't be able to meet up with the person who sold her the house until the next day because the offices were closed and her stuff wouldn't arrive until the next day either, so she had to get a hotel for the night.

Y/n groaned as she rolled her neck, attempting to massage the stiffness out of her shoulder and neck as she entered the Uber, "Uh, Hôtel Fairmont Monte Carlo, s'il vous plaît." Y/n spoke in a tired and dull tone.

The driver nodded and pulled off. Y/n pulled out her phone and pressed on the contact of the one person she knew would be up. It was 9:41 PM in Monaco, which meant it was 4:41 AM in Seoul currently and there was one person she could guarantee would be up at that time.

Chan.

Y/n pulled out a pair of headphones with a large-diameter ear cup that completely encloses her ear and audio processor and put them on. Y/n looked out the window while the phone rang, "Hey! You're in Monaco, I'm guessing." Chan said as his face popped up on the screen. "Yeah, I'm in an Uber right now. I'm heading to the hotel." Y/n mumbled, mouth stretching into a little yawn.

"Oh, yeah. Your stuff isn't there yet, is it?" Chan asked, looking at something off to the side, "No, it'll be arriving tomorrow afternoon. I'll be contacting Mrs. Wolff tomorrow as well to schedule the interview. The jet lag was going to be a bitch." Y/n sighed, leaning against the window. "Yeah, it is. What time is it there?" Chan questioned, "It's, uh, 9:43 PM." Y/n answered, dragging her eyes away from the fogged-up window to the face on her phone.

"Have you eaten?" Chan questioned, "No, not yet. Have you?" Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I ate some ramen earlier. I'm just snacking on some honey butter chips right now." Chan responded, lifting the yellow bag to the screen.

Y/n opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted by the driver, "Madame, nous sommes arrivés à votre destination."

Y/n looked out the window and saw they were indeed in front of the luxury hotel, "D'accord, merci, monsieur. Je vous souhaite une excellente soirée. Sorry, Chan. I have to go. Tell Lixie and the others to text me when they can." Y/n said, exiting the car.

"Okay, I will. Have a good night." Chan said, "Have a good day, mate." Y/n said before hanging up. Y/n pocketed her phone and grabbed her items from the trunk. She waved at the driver in thanks and made her way into the hotel. It was a random one that she picked out and it was probably way too luxurious for a one-night stay, but it was the closest to where her new home would be and she was way too tired to find an even cheaper hotel.

She checked in and paid for the room, trudging up the stairs in a slumped-over position. As soon as she found her room, she stood up and unlocked it as if she was being followed by someone and had to enter quickly. Y/n threw the door open and closed, dropping her bags where she stood before making her way to the bed and getting in

Y/n woke up the next day and immediately ordered an Uber. Her items would be arriving today and she already slept in pretty late. Y/n's dark brown eyes swept the room until they landed on the digital clock on the dresser. It was 2:52 PM. The truck with her stuff would be there around four and the realtor would be there around 3:00, so she had to get going pretty quickly. Luckily, her Uber was on its way and she would be at her new address in no time.

Honk!

Y/n's head snapped up once she had heard the honking of the horn. She could only assume that they were there for her and the chime from her phone telling her that her ride has arrived only confirmed her suspicion. Y/n quickly gathered her items and sped and walked out of the front of the building with her hand up in a wave to show that it was her who had ordered the Uber. Y/n pulled up the trunk after the driver had opened it from the inside of the car.

Y/n put her suitcase and carry-on bag into the trunk and closed it, rushing to get to the backseat and get into the car. "Bonjour, Monsieur. Monaco, La Condamine, 98000 Monaco, s'il vous plaît." Y/n said breathily, pulling her phone out of the bag she had and opening the notes app. Seeing as she would have to move all of her stuff in, of course with the help of the moving pros, and there were some other things she needed to do through the day, she decided that it would be a good idea to make a to-do list.

To do for today and tomorrow

Move my stuff into the house

Rearrange everything to my liking

Unpack everything

Go grocery shopping

Call Mrs. Wolff back

Y/n reread the list over and over to see if anything else came to mind, but when nothing did, she pocketed her phone again and stared out the window. Monaco was a truly gorgeous place and she could see herself living out the rest of her life in this beautiful country.

She could definitely see herself finding a man or woman, who would most definitely be an F1 fan seeing as the country basically lived and breathed F1, finding a much better home, settling down, and having a family.

It wasn't something she wanted anytime soon since she was still pretty young, but it was something she could see happening when she was ready.

Actually, now that Y/n thought about it, and as the car passed by the water, she doesn't think any house, which was actually one of those apartments where you have a whole floor to yourself, would be better than the one she got. It cost an arm and a leg to get and she would be able to afford it after she finally started the PA position.

The flat included three bedrooms, one bathroom, two shower rooms, one separate toilet and a kitchen. In total, it has four rooms. Two underground parking spaces provide space for any vehicles and a balcony that overlooked the water. It that high street, city center, bus station, and shopping center all within 500 m, so it was well situated.

Y/n sighed and closed her eyes. This was the start of her new life. While she was is Monaco, she was going to be a different person then what she was in Australia. Gone is the shy, antisocial, introverted girl that lived in Sydney and in is the girl who is still the same thing, but trying to be more confident.

"Pardonnez-moi, madame. Nous sommes arrivés." The driver announced, "Hm? Oh, merci beaucoup." Y/n thanked as she exited the car. She waited until the driver popped the trunk and then grabbed her things, "Merci encore, madame. J'espère que vous passerez une excellente soirée."

The driver gave Y/n a smile, "C'est très gentil de votre part. J'espère que vous passerez également une excellente soirée." She responded before driving off, giving Y/n a wave as she drove off.

"Miss Lee?" A voice with a thick accent called out from behind her. Y/n whirled around to face a tall man with dark, curly hair, a chisled jaw, and broad shoulders. It was the realtor, "Ah, Mr. Tomatis. How are you doing today?" Y/n greeted, looking to the side so she didn't make eye contact. "I am well. Listen, I would love to stay and talk with you, but I have an important showing to do, so here's your keys. Enjoy your new home." Mr. Tomatis gently place the keys into her hands before walking off.

"Oh-kay. Guess it's time to check out the new place in person." Y/n took a deep breath, trilling as she exhaled. The girl made her way into the building until she reached her floor. Y/n put the key into the door and unlocked it, "Home sweet home, I guess. Once I step through this door, my new life officially starts." Y/n mumbled, resting her forehead against the cool wood. Y/n opened the door and wheeled her suitcase in behind her, "Woah, this is sick!" Y/n awed, looking around her home.

She left the suitcase and carry-on near the entrance and walked around, looking through each room and mentally mapping what went into each room and how she would lay everything out.

Once she was done with her mental mapping, her hands fell to her sides and she looked around with a flat face and eyes dulled due to boredom.

She didn't know what to do now.

The truck wouldn't be there until four and it was only... Y/n looked down at the screen of her phone, which displayed the time in a large blue font...3:12.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Y/n's head. She had to schedule the interview and was advised to do so once she was settled down enough, but since she had time to waste, why not do it now? Y/n opened her contacts and pressed on Susie's, making sure it was on speaker, "Hello?" The sweet Irish voice that Y/n had heard last time, answered the phone.

"Uh, yes. It's Y/n Lee. I'm calling to set up my interview for the PA position." Y/n stammered, "Oh, Ms. Lee! I've been expecting your call back. I assume that means you're in Monaco?" Susie asked, "Yeah, uh, yes...ma'am." Y/n confirmed, nodding as of the woman on the other line could see her.

"Great, I know that you're going to need some time to settle down completely, so the interview will not be taking place any time this week. How about the next week around 10:00 AM? What day works for you?" Susie questioned, "I can do next week. How about Wednesday?" Y/n pulled out a pen and pad of paper to write down the date and time. "Wednesday works perfectly. Alright, I will e you then." Susie said.

"See you then." Y/n confirmed before pressing the 'end call' button. Just as Y/n put her phone on the counter, she got another call but this time from the company that had her stuff, telling her that they had arrived early and were ready to move her stuff in.

Y/n ran out the front door and down the stairs to see that they had indeed arrived earlier than planned and were already beginning to unload the lighter stuff, "Hey, I didn't expect you to be so early. Please, follow me and I'll show you where my apartment is." Y/n said, grabbing a box and leading the way to her floor.

After showing the movers where she was, Y/n went back down to grab another, but before she could make it too far, someone stopped her. "Hey, I couldn't help but notice you're moving in. Do you want some help?" A tall slender man with dark hair and dark eyes. The man in front of her was the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome and Y/n was the definition of awkward around pretty people.

Y/n opened her mouth to decline, probably stutter through the sentence before falling too embarrassed to continue speaking, when another voice spoke up. "Babe, what are you doing? Who's this?" A woman who absolutely gorgeous saddeled herself next to the man, looking up at Y/n with a raised, perfectly sculpted, eyebrow. "I-uh..." Y/n's eyes darted around frantically, trying to find any way out of the situation.

She knew she said she was going to be a totally different person than she was in Australia, but she had the worst night of sleep where her body got too hot with the blankets, too cold with the fan, and still too hot with both. She also kept waking up randomly during the night, feeling dizzy and disoriented. She also may be up and doing things, but she was severely jet lagged and wanted to do nothing, but drop dead on the floor and sleep until she could physically no longer sleep.

Y/n was going to be quite honest, she could use the help and it would make things go a lot faster, but how was she, a socially awkward person, to talk to two very pretty people? 

Answer; she didn't.

She walked past them with a quick 'excuse me' pretending like she didn't hear them. If they got upset with her, she'll just say her hearing aids weren't on or turned up enough for her to hear that they were speaking to her. "Wait! Ma'am, hold on." The man called out, following Y/n outside and grabbing her wrist gently, stopping her in her tracks. Y/n steeled herself and whirled around with a fake smile, "Oh, sorry. Can I, uh, can I help you?" Y/n asked, eyes darting between the man, who was giving her a smile, and the woman, who was scowling at her with her arms crossed.

"Yes, you can help us. My boyfriend asked you a question and you just walked past us as if you didn't hear. Are you deaf or something?" The girl sneered.

"Yes."

"Pa-pardon?" The girl asked, dropping her arms, Y/n turned her head to the side, showing the couple her cochlear and the the hearing aid, "I-I am in fact...deaf." Y/n muttered, turning to go get more boxes. Behind her she could hear the flustered man scolding his girlfriend while she stammered out flustered responses, 

"How could you-?!"

 "I..I didn't know, okay? Hop off my balls."

"Woman, what balls would I be hopping off of?"

"I... You... Just shut up! We should be helping anyway."

The two stopped their flustered play fighting as Y/n walked past. They both grabbed boxes and followed her, "Hey, we are so sorry." The man spoke up, speed walking so he was next to Y/n, "Especially me. I didn't know you were actually deaf and even if you weren't, I wasn't being the nicest. It's just, and this isn't an excuse, there have been some... how do I say this?" The girl asked, looking up.

"Issues." The man supplied, the woman snapped her fingers and pointed at her boyfriend before quickly putting her hand back under the box as it began to tip over in her hands, "Issues. We have had some issues with our last neighbours and it made me sort of defensive. Sorry about that. My name Chiara Lorenzi and this is my boyfriend..." Chiara trailed off so that he could speak for himself.

"Aaron Antognelli. And you are?" Aaron asked, depositing the box on the floor of Y/n's apartment, "Y/n Lee." Y/n answered. "It's nice to meet you, Y/n. I hope we get to become very good friends in the near future." Chiara said, nudging the taller girl as she and Aaron walked out to grab more boxes.

With the extra two sets of hands, Y/n and the movers were able to get everything inside quickly and it was a good thing too since the sky began to dark with thick rain clouds. "Um, thank you for your help." Y/n muttered, going into her house and beginning to close the door when a hand appeared between the door and the frame, keeping her from closing it fully, "Hold on there, kangaroo. Don't you want help unpacking?" Aaron asked.

"Oh, no. I couldn't ask for that. You have done quite a bit a-and I don't know you well enough." Y/n frantically shook her head. The couple shared a look before turning back to Y/n, "Please, we... I insist. We want to make up for the rocky way we greeted you. Of course, we won't force you to and if you don't want us to help you, we'll leave." Chiara said.

Y/n sighed and nodded, opening the door fully to let the couple in. She didn't know them or trust them, but she also needed all the help she could get. That, and she was shit at decorating, so it would be nice to enlist the help of someone else.

Chiara and Aaron looked around, "Why does your apartment look so much better than ours?" Aaron asked, "I thought they were all the same." Y/n said, looking at her spacious place. "Nah, yours has much more space, but it could be the fact that you're living alone that makes it seem that way." Aaron shrugged.

Chiara whirled around and clapped her hands together, "Alright, let's get this done."

With a yelp, Y/n fell out of her bed as the alarm she had set on her phone blared in her ear that contained the hearing aid. She had so much fun with Aaron and Chiara the previous night that she ended up going to be later than she usually liked to whenever she had something important to do the next day. After the day they helped her unpack, the two quickly became friends Y/n and they had been hanging out with each other ever since.

Y/n groaned and hobbled over to a cabinet near her bed where she kept her medicine, "Shit, getting drunk the day before my interview was not smart." Y/n grumbled, opening a bottle of pills and a bottle of water from her mini fridge.

Y/n gathered her clothing and put it on the end of the bed then went and took a scalding hot shower that helped her sober up. Y/n gave a quiet groan as she messaged her shoulders, "Man, my shoulders are stiff." She complained.

Stepping out of the shower, Y/n put on her outfit, which consisted of wool wide-leg pants, a skims t-shirt bodysuit, a nocturne cropped jacket, and a pair of heeled patchwork boots. Looking in the mirror, Y/n narrowed her eyes, "Hmm, wait." Y/n looked around to the clothes she had thrown everywhere when looking for a good outfit.

Her room was covered in an explosion of beige, brown, white, and black. There was not a lick of color in any of her wardrobe, save for her shoes, which were still not brightly colored, so they still fit her aesthetic. "I need to add some color to my wardrobe." Y/n muttered, before grabbing her things and making her way down to where the Uber was waiting for her.

She gave the driver the address of a café that Susie had suggested, Café de Paris, and  off they went. Y/n's heart thudded so hard in her chest that she was pretty sure that the beat was coming from her stomach rather than her chest. Y/n ran a hand through her long, messy hair and tried to calm the nervous feeling in her stomach.

The driver looked at Y/n through the rear mirror and cleared his throat, "Nerveux? Vous avez un rendez-vous ou une raison de vous énerver?" He asked, causing Y/n to jump from the sudden addressing. "Euh, oui. J'ai un entretien très important. J'ai déjà obtenu le poste, mais je suis encore nerveux." Y/n answered shakily, wringing her hands together nervously.

The driver studied Y/n through the mirror before turning his eyes back to the road, "Eh, don't be nervous. It must be just a 'get to know you' interview." The driver said, switching to English and waving a hand to the side as if he was brushing Y/n's nervousness away.

"You're right. Merci, Monsieur." Y/n sighed, leaning back against the headrest. The rest of the car ride was spent in silence.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Susie sat at a table in Café de Paris, occasionally looking at her watch as she waited for Y/n to arrive. Admittedly, she had arrived a bit too early, but she was excited. She had been looking forward to finally starting the F1 academy and with Y/n working by her side, she'd make these girls into Formula One champions.

Susie continued looking out the window for Y/n, even though she has no idea what Y/n looked like at all. Y/n walked through the door and approached Susie from behind, "Mrs. Wolff?" Y/n spoke up, causing the blonde woman to jump up. As soon as they were face-to-face, both women froze.

Now, Y/n was open about her sexuality and what she liked, but Susie wasn't. Susie had never been interested in women and she wasn't one who would ever fall in love when she already had a husband and a beautiful son, but Susie's heart raced looking at the younger woman and she couldn't understand why. Susie had no problem admitting when another woman is beautiful and the one in front of her? Well, she was drop dead gorgeous in Susie's eyes.

"Ah, Ms. Lee. You startled me." Susie chuckled, putting a hand on her chest to calm her racing heart. Whether it was racing because of Y/n's beauty or because she genuinely got startled, she didn't know. Either way, the woman in front of her made her heart race. "My apologies, Mrs. Wolff. I didn't mean to scare you." Y/n apologized, giving the older woman a shallow bow instinctively.

"Shall we sit and begin?" Susie asked, gesturing to the chair. Y/n nodded and sat down across from the older woman. "Okay, remember that you already have the job. This is just to get to know you a bit more. Do you want to order something or do you just want to start?" Susie questioned.

"I would like to order something." Y/n muttered, Susie gestured to someone and a waiter came over, "Are you ladies ready to order?" The waiter asked politely. "Yes, I would like a chocolate chaud and panna cotta parfumeé au citron." Susie told the waiter who wrote it down before turning to Y/n, "I would like Le Chou Profiterole and the Irish coffee. Please." Y/n said.

Once the waiter finished writing down their orders and left, Susie turned back to Y/n with a smile that made Y/n want to throw herself off a cliff. She was so pretty and Y/n didn't think Susie knew just how gorgeous she was.

"Okay, let's start while we're waiting for our orders. Can you tell me about yourself?" Susie questioned, "Oh okay, um... I'm Y/n Lee, I am half Chinese and Half Australian, I am 23 years old, I want to do modeling in my spare time, I like surfing and skiing, and I used to be a Formula Two driver before I contracted meningitis and had to stop." Y/n replied.

"You contracted meningitis?" Susie asked, "I did. I lost hearing in my right ear," Y/n turned her head and moved her hair, showing her cochlear, "I had to get a cochlear for my right ear and I have a hearing aid in my left because I'm losing my hearing in that ear. After I got my surgery, I just decided not to continue driving even though I would love to continue." Y/n shrugged.

Susie nodded, "If you had the chance, would you try and continue to drive in F2?" Susie questioned. Y/n sighed and looked around the café, "I honestly never thought about it. I wanted to but I didn't have enough money to continue, so I thought that my chances were over. If I had the chance to do it again, I don't know if I would take it. I'm turning 23 soon and I fell like I'm getting too old." Y/n said, looking up as the waiter arrived with their stuff.

"Thank you/Merci." Susie and Y/n said simultaneously. Y/n brought the glass mug up to her lips and took a sip of the drink. Y/n put the mug down and looked at Susie again, "What are your goals for the next five years?" Susie asked.

"Hmm, I think I still see myself working in the motorsports world or perhaps attempting to further my modeling career. Or both." Y/n answered, picking up one of the cream puff and taking a bite, refraining from making any sort of noise. 

"Do you consider yourself a passionate person when it comes to this sport?" Susie inquired, Y/n nodded as she swallowed the pastry in her mouth, "I was..am...Before I got meningitis, I was obsessed with being a Formula One driver. I was about as passionate about it like most of the guys on the grid. It was my passion." Y/n explained.

Susie nodded and sat back in her chair, "That'll be all." She said, picking up her spoon and eating some of her panna cotta parfumeé au citron. Y/n paused halfway from the plate where she was reaching for another mini creampuff, "That's all?" She asked, "That's all." Susie reiterated 

"Okay." Y/n nodded. She was honestly so unsure as to why she needed to do the interview when she was only going to be asked about four questions, "Now, let's get to know each other since we're going to be working closely together. My name is Suzanne Wolff, but you can call me Susie. I am Scottish, 39 years old, I have a wonderful husband who is the team principal of Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS Formula One team, and I have a gorgeous fiver-year-old son named Jack." Susie introduced herself.

The woman held out a hand for Y/n to shake, "It's wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Wolff. I look forward to working with you." Y/n said, grabbing the older woman's hand and shaking it firmly. Susie waved off her formalities, "Oh, please. Call me Susie. We'll be working close together, so we might as well drop the formalities." She chuckled.

The two women continued to talk about random topics, getting to know each other more and more. The two became quick friends and even made plans to hang outside of work sometime in the future and even talked about Y/n meeting her son and husband since she would have to meet them eventually.

By the time Y/n was in her Uber and on her way home, it was well into the afternoon and Y/n had a small permanent smile on her face as she thought about the older woman.

Y/n hated to admit it, but she tended to catch feelings for people quite easily. She didn't and never would believe in love at first sight, but she did believe that one can get to know someone well enough to gain some sort of feelings for someone. 

And Y/n could tell that the bubbling feeling in her stomach was her feeling giddy and anxious. She was beginning to feel something for the older married woman, but she brushed it off. It was just a small puppy crush, and even if it wasn't, nothing would ever come of it. Susie was a heterosexual married woman with a family and if there was one thing Y/n could never be, it was a homewrecker.

 Susie entered her home happily. Her husband and son greeting her at the entrance, "Hello, liebling. How was the interview? I can assume it went well since you're smiling from ear to ear." Toto said, kissing his wife on the forehead. "She's perfect, Toto. She is everything I wanted and more in a personal assistant. Not to mention she's absolutely gorgeous. If she were to go to a GP, people would assume she is some sort of supermodel WAG." Susie said absentmindedly.

Toto gave his wife an odd look as she bent down to greet their five-year-old. His wife was what some people would call a girl's girl and she definitely has complimented other women before, but the way she had talked about the woman she had met with made him feel curious. She had never sounded so infatuated with anyone other than him and Jack.

Of course, Toto knew that his wife was not going to cheat on him and especially not with another woman, but there was just a feeling in his gut that said there was something more than just a regular excitement to be getting the F1 Academy project off the ground. 

"Yeah? Is that right?" Toto asked, "Yes. She used to be a F2 driver too, so she is the most perfect candidate for the job. I think you and Jackie would lover her." Susie said, kissing the top of Jack's head and carrying him into the kitchen.

Toto shook his head as he chuckled. He didn't know what the woman was like, but she must have been super amazing because she left such an impression on his wife that she was positively gushing about the new PA.

By the time Susie stopped talking about the new PA, Toto himself couldn't wait to meet her and he was now sharing the excitement that she was practically projecting off her in waves.

This was the start of something new and both Wolff's could tell.

↳ ❝ [Taglist] ¡!❞

@exotic-iris13 @alliwantisadonut @evie-119 @xoscar03 @cheyxfu @laur2608 @sunnylikesfrogs @goldenmoonbeam @victorharrington @only-nope

Unable to tag all of you

This one was over 6k words. I felt like I needed to give you guys this since I had been away for so long.

DO NOT ask me to update this story. I'll update when I can.

Anyway, only accepting 9 more people to be tagged

[drvscarlett]

About You Pt4

Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader

Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.

About You Series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

A/N: took me a while to update but here it is! Let me know your thoughts about this

Taglist: @spideybv28@randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @cliosunshine @honethatty12 @randomgirlnumber-13 @sugyomama @ririyulife @skywalker1dream @vicurious28 @cristianovettel

2010, Bahrain International Circuit

Seb: Hey, did you already leave? Can we talk? Seb: Happy holidays Y/N, I hope you are spending time with the family Seb: Its a new year, I hope you get a better year. Seb: Aren't you going to pre-season testing? Seb: Hope to see you in Bahrain

Y/N sighed as she read the messages over and over again. It's quite an asshole move to leave Sebastian on read but Y/N couldn't bring herself to reply to the messages because she was hurt by their last conversation. The heavy feeling is even more aggravated because all she ever wanted was to hear a simple sorry from Sebastian.

Unfortunately, that's the only message that Sebastian hasn't sent.

"Are you still not talking with Sebastian?"Mark enters the room.

Mark knew that Sebastian and Y/N had a fallout after Abu Dhabi. At first, he was a bit clueless about what's happening but with Y/N constantly shutting herself in her room and Mark getting a glimpse of the one-sided conversation-it was difficult to ignore it.

The whole thing became even more hard to ignore when Sebastian resulted to texting Mark over the winter break to check on Y/N. Mark tried to ask Sebastian about what happened but Sebastian said that he just said some things that can make a friend feel hurt.

Bullshit, that's what Mark said in his mind. He knew that her sister won't be moping and act like this if its something as simple as that.

"I don't wanna talk about him" she grumbled.

"You know that you have to talk to him eventually"Mark ever the rational "He is our co-worker and we have to be professional in work."

It's something that Y/N knows. She knows that she will not place her professionalism in jeopardy but as much as she could she would delay talking to Sebastian. Her fear is that if she ends up forgiving Sebastian, without him asking for it, then this situation might repeat again.

"I won't let work interfere with Seb"Y/N assured.

There was a silence between the two Webbers. It was a comfortable silence where they seem to be using their siblings communication signals to determine if they should push the topic or not.

"He got pole position today, it might give Red Bull a fight for championship don't you think" Mark offered "Maybe you can talk to him like congratulate him for a conversation starter"

"I'm well-aware Mark, I have been watching the qualifying"

She was actually debating whether she would say a simple congrats knowing how proud Sebastian is with his pole. If this was last year, she would have been there at the parc femme. However, things aren't easy like that.

"You can talk to me about anything okay?" Mark reminded. Maybe at the back of Mark's head, he feels like there are more to this than just a petty friendship fight. But he didn't want to push her sister to being annoyed with his constant questions.

"I promise I will when the time is right."

"You know maybe if Sebastian loses the race then maybe you should see it as a sign to talk to him"Mark joked a bit to lighten the mood

"That's mean"Y/N playfully punched her brother "That's never going to happen he is on pole"

"Why not if he does not get a podium finish then you will talk to him"

"Are you seriously jinxing your team Mark?"Y/N laughed

"Okay, that's a deal"

"I tell you that its never gonna happen"Y/N assured.

And its like the universe played a cruel joke on Y/N, Sebastian did not have a podium finish. He still finished 4th but knowing Sebastian, the German driver is obviously frustrated.

Mark did not finish well but he has this knowing smirk on his face as he nudged his sister's ribs. Y/N resisted the urge to slap him at the back of his head since they were in front of a lot of Red Bull sponsors.

"Go on and talk to him" Mark whispered"I promise to behave here"

Y/N took a detour to the catering and grabbed an orange. She immediately went to Sebastian's driver room where she saw Britta exiting.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" she quizzed the younger Webber "I thought you and Seb weren't in speaking terms"

"Well I think with what happened today then I have to check up on him"Y/N replies.

Britta could just hug Y/N because she knows that Sebastian was really in a terrible mood after losing out the podium. It would mean a lot for Y/N to speak to Sebastian before Britta could bring him back for media duties.

"I'll stall the media for a bit, I'm giving you 10 minutes okay?" BrItta informed

"Thanks B"

Y/N felt nervous whether how to start a conversation with Sebastian. She fiddles with the orange in her hand as she walked in the room to seek the German driver.

"Seb?"

Sitting in the corner of the room, Sebastian looked up. His eyes were red, obviously from crying, and his hair was in complete disarray.

"Y/N?" Sebastian was confused "You're here?"

"I figure you need an orange"

In essence, Y/N didn't want to brush things off like that. She didn't want to appear out of the blue and be friends with Sebastian again. But the moment that Sebastian hugged her, it all melted away. She thought of nothing else as she missed this.

Sebastian too was thinking of the same thing. He wanted to apologize in person and he wanted to do it right now. However, he didn't want to ruin the moment. He just got her back.

Somehow its both of their fault that they brush off things like that.

2010, Albert Park

Sebastian, Mark, and Y/N arrived in Australia a couple of days before the race so as tradition goes Sebastian was once again a guest to Webber's family dinners. Sebastian feels at home with the family and even helped with the dinner preparations.

"Where's Y/N" Mr. Webber asked

"Y/N went to the market to buy some lemons that mum needs" Mark informed "She should have been here an hour ago"

"Should I give her a call?" Sebastian asked

Like a perfect cue, the door opens revealing Y/N.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I got a little bit of a car problem and its a good thing that I got someone to help me. "Y/N greeted "I hope you don't mind setting up another plate for dinner"

Of course, no one minded. The table was big enough to add guests. Sebastian was bringing the plates to the dining room when he was surprised to see Jenson Button standing there.

"What are you doing here" Sebastian was quick to ask

"Jenson is the one that helped me fix my car, thank God for drivers right?" Y/N replies

This annoyed Sebastian greatly but he knows that he cannot let his emotions get the best of him. He remembered how he acted the last time in Abu Dhabi and he surely doesn't want a repeat of that. It's just so annoying that Jenson Button is always at the scene of the crime when it comes to Y/N.

"Jenson?" Mark was also confused "You are in Australia early"

"Got an early flight, I was touring around and then I saw Y/N" Jenson smiles.

Knowing the previous history of Y/N and Jenson, Mark was also very skeptical. The seating arrangement ended up with Y/N between Mark and Sebastian while Jenson is sitting across Sebastian.

Dinner went on great, the dishes were great, but Sebastian could not shake this horrible feeling in his stomach. He hated how Jenson was mingling well and joking around with the whole family. Jenson had a way with Mrs. Webber, complimenting her food and the homey space decorations.

Still, Sebastian tried to push the green monster of envy away.

"Jenson, didn't you date my daughter Y/N before?" Mr. Webber remembered

"DAD"Y/N and Mark immediately hissed

"What, I'm just curious that's all" the eldest Webber defended

Jenson had a boyish smirk gracing his face and Sebastian wanted to punch that smirk on his face. He knew that if he didn't punch Jenson then Mark would.

"Well we went on a date for one time but that's it were good friends" Jenson explained

"But why Y/N, Jenson seems like a good lad plus he is a world champion" Mrs Webber butted in.

She seems to have grown fond of the British driver in such a short span of time. Her fondness is a stark contrast to the irritation that Sebastian has been feeling.

"Me and Jense are cool as friends, right?" Y/N cleared out

"Well if you wanna go on a date again, I wouldn't mind"Jensen jokingly stated.

Jealousy is a disease that Sebastian Vettel is inflicted with. Maybe its because Jenson already has two things that he really wanted which is a championship and a date with the girl he really liked. But whatever Sebastian was feeling, he kept it at bay for the sake of peace.

Anyways, he can run over Jenson on track.

2010, Sepang International Circuit

Y/N has to say that this is a very difficult start of the season for Red Bull. Mark and Sebastian went on winning poles yet they haven't won during the actual races. To say that she was ecstatic to see the Red Bull P1-P2 for today's race is not enough to describe how she is feeling.

Looking up at the podium and seeing the two drivers smiling at each other, Y/N took that opportunity to snap a photo of them. She prayed for more weekends like this as both drivers deserve this kind of victories.

Once the celebration ended, she went back to the motorhome to get her things and to meet up with the two drivers. However, she saw a group of Red Bull crew huddled up in a corner.

It was not her business to eavesdrop but hearing her brother's name being mentioned, she stayed hidden to hear what they have to say.

"Mark is an unfortunate case, he could have won today" one of them voiced out "He was at fault for losing his pole advantage a while ago"

"True and Vettel is obviously a better driver, look at him creating history and he just started last year"another mechanic agreed.

"I heard from Helmut that Vettel will be there championship bet"

"What happens to Mark then?"

"He will settle being a second driver and defending Sebastian obviously"

"Do you think Mark would agree?"

"If I were Mark, I would look for another team. There is no chance for a championship here if my teammate is obviously better than me"

All the highs that she has been feeling a while ago has faded into nothingness. Y/N felt herself conflicted with the situation ahead. If what they are saying is true then Y/N would be the one that will be in the middle of that battlefield.

This is Mark's dream for so long to win a championship. He have done his best to improve himself, she has seen the sleepless nights he had and how hard he tries to get a podium win every single race.

On the other hand, Y/N has also seen Sebastian's tears whenever he failed to finish or deliver. She knows that Sebastian lives and breathe racing for as long as he can remember. He wanted a championship badly as well.

It is just unfair that one of them has to compromise for the team. There shouldn't be a first driver or second driver but Y/N understands that every team had this. She felt miserable as she remembered hearing what happened to Rubens when he was the second driver to Michael Schumacher. She didn't want anyone to feel that way, ever.

"Y/N! Hello earth to Y/N"

In her deep thoughts, she haven't noticed that Mark and Sebastian was in front of her. Both were still in their race gear and the champagne smell wafts through the air.

"Oh, I didn't see you there Mark and Seb" Y/N emphasized loudly on their last name so that those gossip crew would be aware that the two are around.

"You're acting weird, we have been calling you for a long time already." Mark confusedly stated.

"Never mind about that, I just got a lot of things going on" Y/N assured

"Hey Nico invited us for dinner, let's celebrate?" Sebastian asked

"Sure, sure"

The two Red Bull drivers are laughing and joking around as they walked around with Y/N. Y/N tried to smile and join them but there was something that has been bugging her head.

In the end, she will put that conversation she heard of in the back of her head. She prays that it never happens because if she will be forced to choose sides, she didn't want to do that.

2010, Monte Carlo Circuit

Sebastian remembered how last year, Y/N has been a bit sick during Monaco so she was unable to do a yacht trip. Mark kept on sending her photos. It was meant to be a good gesture and to let her know that he misses her but it only made Y/N a lot more upset. She ended up texting Sebastian and whining about how that stupid stomach bug made her miss out this golden opportunity.

Yacht trips and the lavish life of Monaco is certainly not Sebastian's style. This is why it is common that he would be the last person to go to Monaco and the first one to leave. So just imagine everyone's surprise when he was in Monaco 3 days early for race week and he was going around looking for yacht trips.

It comes even more of a surprise when Y/N Webber has also been spotted in Monaco quite early for the race. No Mark Webber in sight though which raises everyone's eyebrows.

"So care to explain to me what are we doing?" Y/N asked.

She was dying of curiosity ever since Sebastian asked her to come early to Monaco. It was rare that Sebastian was so secretive because he will normally blabber everything to her.

"I'm not telling you until we get there" comes Sebastian's teasing comment.

"Oh c'mon I flew all over the world to see you"

"It's worth it, I promise"

Sebastian drove around Monaco and finally reaching the docks. He can feel that Y/N has the gears in her head already turning. There was an excited look on her face when she realized what they are about to do.

"Sebastian Vettel, tell me you did not!"Y/N tried to control her excitement "Are we really going on a yacht trip?"

"Well its your birthday week so I figure you might need a tour around Monaco on a yacht"Sebastian's nonchalant answer caused Y/N to scream.

It was a dream come true for Y/N. She had been dreaming of going around Monaco on a yacht for so long but her duties as Mark's assistants coupled by several unfortunate events prevented her from doing that dream.

Sebastian led her to the yacht and the two set off for an entire day of the yacht experience. Y/N wouldn't know but Sebastian specifically learned how to yacht for this purpose and this purpose only. He also called Mrs. Webber to ask for Y/N's favorite dishes so he has them prepared for lunch and dinner.

The whole day was spent floating around Monaco. They took a swim at one point and now they are lounging at the front while waiting for the sun to set.

"This is really a lot of effort Seb, thank you" Y/N began "I really appreciate this whole day"

If only Sebastian could tell her that he should be the one thanking her. Seeing her happy makes him extremely happy.

"It's nothing much" that's how Sebastian managed to answer

Y/N rolls her eyes, she sees right through that lie. Maybe for Sebastian this is nothing much but for her who doesn't earn as much as an F1 driver then this is really a lot.

"Oh before I forget, I still have one gift left" Sebastian said "Here you go"

It was a small black box with a gold ribbon. There was a scrawl on it in Sebastian's handwriting saying happy birthday Y/N. It made the girl raise her eyebrows.

"Seb I can't accept this, this seems really pricey"

Y/N got that right. Sebastian spent a long time looking for this gift since he customized it and it took a while for it to be created. But of course, Sebastian won't admit to that.

"Just take it" Seb pushed the gift back to her.

"I'm scared to open it" she whines

"Okay what if you don't open it and then I'll just hand it to you" Sebastian suggested "That way then you can't give it back"

"Got it, should I close my eyes to prepare myself"

"Go ahead"

Its so cliche for the two of them as it looks like it was taken from a movie scene. Sebastian unwrapped the gift and took the necklace out of the velvet pouch. It shimmers against the setting sun as he placed the necklace gently on her hand.

"You can open your eyes now" Sebastian said

Y/N lets out a soft gasp upon opening her eyes. It was a silver chained blue diamond necklace. There was some eerie similarities with the heart of the ocean necklace from titanic but this one is like the less flashier version. Sebastian have heard multiple stories back in the Webber household how Y/N absolutely loved Titanic as a little kid and Sebastian couldn't think of anything more iconic as gifting her a very own version of the heart of the ocean.

"Seb, you're making me cry. This is too beautiful" Y/N muttered in awe.

"I always see you fiddling with your necklace when you are nervous especially when someone crashed or its a wet race" Sebastian explained "I hope this can help assure you that everything will be alright"

Y/N felt speechless and she could feel the utter care that was placed in this gift. So what she does next is remove the necklace hanging on her neck.

"What's this?" it was now his turn to be puzzled.

"Well I can't wear this necklace and that at the same time" Y/N reasoned "So I'm giving you my necklace. Its my star sign, taurus which is represented by a bull so red bull"

Sebastian looked at the necklace in his hand. He felt very grateful and it seems like a charm for him to carry to his races.

"Thank you"

There was so much more that Sebastian wanted to say but he couldn't ruin this moment. He was happy to make her happy even if its just a friend.

Soon, he tells himself.

If he wins in Monaco then he would gather all his courage to ask her out. He will give everything for this race this weekend so he can finally stop this dilly-dallying. He gives out a silent wish to the universe that they make his wish come true.

News flash, Sebastian didn't win the Monaco GP 2010.

[wejustvibing]

I don't want to talk about the contractual aspects, which obviously aren't my responsibility - he explained - instead it makes me pleasure to reflect on the character, on his story. Perhaps not everyone knows that Lewis has always been sensitive to the charm of the Cavallino . He is our customer! More than once he visited the factory as a buyer of our cars. He is not just a speed ace. He has a genuine love for supercars. Our cars couldn't be missing from his garage. One in particular."

The model is actually called LaFerrari – he admitted – Hamilton came to Maranello to give the indications relating to the preparation of the machine. It was on that occasion that we said goodbye cordially. And he told me something that struck me. We had Vettel on the team and we were happy with Seb. We had just renewed the contract with the German, which was going well. Lewis made a joke: if you waited twelve months I would come."

A joke that could have been the first sign of an imminent move to Ferrari, long before the one that materializes for 2025, but not according to Ferrari: "I don't think so, he has lived and is still living a fantastic story with Mercedes. But certainly, as I said at the beginning, he was never indifferent to our story. He is also very close to the motoring legend, as a child he had Senna as an idol, in 2013 he took over from Michael Schumacher at Mercedes. Personally I'm very happy, God forbid. A figure like that of Lewis fits perfectly with the Ferrari myth."

Turrini, however, also highlighted a statistic relating to only two drivers who became champions with other teams who were then able to establish themselves also in Ferrari. A team that, after a year of waiting, will see a pair made up of Hamilton and Charles Leclerc: It's true, you are referring to Fangio and Schumacher – he recalled – I consider it an auspicious moment. Charles is the champion of the future, Ferrari believes in him and has shown it, I think. Hamilton is Hamilton. I don't see why they should argue. We are talking about professionals.

- Piero Ferrari

[luvhughes43]

obsessed with the blake/nico AU! how do they finally get together?

ahh thank youuu🫶🫶

(im going to write a proper fic for this sometime soon but for now here's some thoughts)

so nico and blake have long admitted to themselves that they like the other person, and so theyre in this denial phase because they dont want to mess things up with each other + nico being jacks captain/teammate is obviously something to consider ..

anyway! so theres a devils event of some kind, maybe a wag party or something and anyway, blake goes (dressed to the 9s because she wants her man!) and she sees nico there talking to this girl all night

which, annoys blake to no end because she truly thought that he was reciprocating her feelings + the signs were all there

so shes literally so jealous and annoyed the whole night. just like constantly looking in nicos direction because she "cant believe i was so stupid"

and nico senses that blakes annoyed at him but doesn't know why. and so when blake leaves the event early before saying goodbye nico shows up to her apartment because ??? hello you've been glaring at me all night and we aren't usually like this...

blake, while usually reserved just immediately admits to liking him. she gives him absolutely no space to talk shes like, "i bought your jersey! i dont even own my twins jersey!" and shes pulling out her phone, "and duolingo! i have duolingo on my phone to try and learn swiss german!"

and shes just ranting about how much of an idiot she is and how sorry she is for thinking there was something between the two of them

and nicos just like ....? babes im literally all yours.

"i have a notes app filled with all your favourite things" he interrupts her, and then he starts listing off things he does because he likes her

anddd anyway! they hookup for the first time that night after all that tension and then they agree to keep their relationship private until they figure out a plan

[doudouneverte]

hii, how are u?

i've been obsessed w feli but sadly there aren't many fics w her.

could you write some angst+fluff for her? reader is sad that she can't introduce felicitas to her parents, because theyre not in the picture anymore (you can choose why) and feli comforts reader, but r feels like a burden?

a/n: oh, I love this one. Sorry for the wait but school is messing with my writing time...

"It's okay, I'm here"

*not my GIF*

Pairing: Felicitas Rauch x FRAWNT!reader

Summary: based on the request above

Type: Angst + Fluff

Warning: bad parents, homophobia (homophobic parents)

word count: 3398

--------

Back to the changing at the end of training, joy and excitement for the next game were clearly drowning the room. It will be the final of the DFB-Pokal against Freiburg. While the girls were planning things for the next day, you were discussing something with Svenja until music started to play in the room and you felt someone dragging you by the arm. You looked at them to find your girlfriend, Felicitas Rauch, visibly very excited to dance. You were exhausted and just wanted to get dressed and go back home, but her smile made you give up.

After a little dance and finally getting changed, you waited for your girlfriend in the parking lot, where you resumed your conversation with your captain.

"So, how was your little trip with Feli last week?" The German player asked.

"It was pretty cool. We didn't do anything special, but you know, with her, everything is special."

"Aww, look at you. You're too cute when you talk about her like that."

"I mean it. I don't really need to do something; I'm just grateful she's here, and I thought about..." You interrupted yourself when you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket. Before you could speak again, your girlfriend wrapped you in a tight hug and left some kisses on your neck, making you giggle.

"Okay, I think I'll let you enjoy your time together. We will see each other tomorrow." Svenja told you. You just nodded before she left, and you entered your car with the defender.

Back in your shared house, you exaggerated a groan before you left your shoes and your training bag at the entrance before collapsing on the couch. Feli laughed at your attitude before she joined you with Cinnamon in her arms.

"Oh, come on, training was rather light today." She said letting the dog sit on your lap before snuggling against your tired body.

"I know, but I didn't sleep enough yesterday, so I'm very tired." You explained.

"Don't worry, tomorrow is a day off. I know the girls proposed to have lunch, but if you're very tired, we can stay at home."

"I would love that, but you forgot something." You said making her a little confused. "Tonight, Julie, come, and we also need to prepare something for tomorrow." You remembered her.

Julie was your little sister, and the next day would be her birthday—well, not exactly. She already had her birthday the day prior, but since you started to play in Germany, she always comes to celebrate with you a few days later.

Feli knew about that. At least about the version you always told her—that being busy meant that your sister always had to come to Germany to spend time with you. It was actually true, but not the full version.

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Do you need my help for anything?" Your girlfriend asked.

"Um, I think I just have to buy eggs and flour to make a cake for tomorrow, but don't worry I-"

"I'll do it!" The defender cut you. "Let it to me. You know how much I love your sister. Don't worry, you can go pick up her, and I'll buy everything we need for tomorrow." She assured you.

"Are you sure about that? I mean, I know you can deal with everything, but I don't want to force you to do anything. We just came back from training; you're tired."

"And so you are. Don't worry; I promise you it's okay. I love to pamper her." She stole you a kiss before standing. "Okay now, come on, we need to take a shower before we go."

"I don't know if I ever told you, but I'm really lucky to have you." You said before following.

"I know, you say it every day." She commented.

"And you don't know how much it means to me." You whispered before kissing her. The defender didn't hear you, but she still reciprocated the affection.

An hour and a half later, you were finally ready to leave, and it took you only thirty minutes to reach your destination. Like expected, your sister was waiting for you, and she immediately caught you in a hug when she saw you.

"Je commençais à croire que tu m'avais oublié. (I started to think that you forgot me.)" She said after you pulled away.

"Arrête de faire ta drama queen, je viens a peine de finir mon entrainement. (Stop doing your drama queen; I just finished my training.)" You replied. "Now let's go. I have a girlfriend that I want to see." You added while you started to put her luggage on the backseat.

"Oh, come on, you see her every day." She said before taking place on the passenger side, you rolled your eyes and decided not to talk back.

The ride back was filled with laughter and pure enjoyment at being reunited. Back at home, Feli was already here, and of course the two women instantly fell in each other's arms.

"Wow, okay, I already got replaced." You said irronicaly.

"Oh, come on, don't act like that; you are always with her." Your sister said.

"Okay, I don't want any arguments today; I'm really tired, and I think we all need to have a good night. So, now girls, let's eat and sleep." Feli said ending any potential sibling argument.

"Yes, ma'am." you both said before heading to the kitchen.

-----

The next day, you were awakened by a very excited defender, and because she had to be quiet, you found it very cute. When she realized that you were fully awake, she didn't waste more time before leading you into the living room to show you what she started to do.

"Wow, why are you so excited?" you asked her after almost tripping on your own foot.

"Look at this." The defender showed you all the decorations she made a little earlier. "I just need your help with something. But before that, what do you think about this?" she asked you.

"That's... incredible," you finished. "I didn't know you had so much talent to decorate this place," you added, really surprised.

"Thans. I didn't want to awaken you because I know that you were very tired yesterday."

"Oh, come on, babe, you know you're maybe the only person who is allowed to wake me up whenever you want." You said while you rolled your arms around her hips. "I meant it when I said that I'm lucky to have you in my life."

"Okay, now stop being cheesy and kiss me before the baby wakes up and starts to complain because we show 'too much love'." She mimicked your sister's voice.

Just after attaching your lips to Feli's, you heard someone making some disgusted noises behind you.

"I can't leave you two alone for five minutes," your sister said, making you roll your eyes. "And by the way, I'm not a baby anymore," she added.

"You need to stop eardropping, you little dipshit." You said earning a firm slap from your girlfriend.

"Okay, let's not talk about that." Feli said, escaping from your arms to hug your sister. "Happy birthday, Prinzessin (princess)."

"Oh, and now she's been called Princess; you never called me like that before." You said while you filled a cup of water.

"Stop pouting, mommy; it doesn't suit you." Your sister said making you choke on the water, and Feli blushed more quickly than ever seen.

"Julie!" you both yelled.

"What? It's your own fault to not be quiet while you....you have your affairs," she replied with a disgusted look.

"Please, someone kill me right now." Feli said this dramatically before going back to your shared bedroom.

You were about to say something when your sister's phone rang. She looked at it, then looked at you with a curious expression. You didn't have to ask before she showed you who was calling; it was your mom.

You picked up for her and quickly pressed the phone on her before leaving the room. On your way to go somewhere far away from your sister's phone, you collided with the defender.

"Hey, where are you going? We haven't given her her present yet." You didn't reply and just dragged her back from where she came out.

"I just want to cuddle with you while she's on the phone."

Feli was aware that something was strange after your request. Of course, it was not unusual for the defender that you asked something like that, but when Julie came to visit, you were always stuck with each other. Sometimes the defender felt like the third wheel, but she knew that because you couldn't see her as much as you wanted, it was logical that you wanted to spend all your time with her.

"Is everything okay?" The defender asked carefully while you were lying on top of her with your head hidden in the crook of her neck.

"Yes," you replied quickly, but without moving.

"Are you sure? Because usually you would be annoying Julie knowing that she can't do anything while she's on the phone." She said with a little smile on her face, reminding herself every time you did that and your sister chasing you around the hole house after.

"Yeah, don't worry, I just want to spend some alone time with you."

"Okay." She replied and started to play with your hair. A few seconds later, she heard someone knock on the door. "Come in." 

Julie opened the door and immediately felt bad for you when she saw you curled against your girlfriend's body. "Uh, Y/n?" She called you, a little unsure of how she should announce it. When she heard you hum, she took a rather long moment before dropping the bomb. "Mom called. She asked if I was planning to come home soon and told her that I would stay until your next game." She took a pause, letting your girlfriend be confused for a moment. "Her and dad will come to see you play tomorrow."

"That's super!" Your girlfriend sheered, but when she was not met with the same excitement from both of you, she reconsidered it.

"Svenja wants to see me," you said before leaving the bed and heading to the bathroom. "I think it would be cool if you came too; I promised her to let her know when you come to visit," you said to your sister before closing the door.

Feli stayed there, trying to process whatever was happening. She didn't have to wait too long before you came back and started to get dressed.

"Listen, I don't know what's happening right now, but you do really need to leave right now?" the defender asked.

"Don't worry, we will be really quick." You tried to reassure her with a light peck on her lips, but she could feel that you were not totally honest with that. Even if she wanted to stop you or invited herself, she knew (almost) more than anyone to not overstep things with you.

~~~~~

"Well, when you say that something bad happened, I didn't know it was that bad." Svenja said while you were trying to be eaten alive by her couch.

"At least they didn't show up unnacounced." Julie said.

"Why do they have to come when we play a final? They had all the season to come and be as disrespectful as they wanted; why did they choose one of the most important games?" You asked no one.

"I think you should tell her." Your captain proposed.

"I can't..." You started to feel some tears filling your eyes.

"Y/n, I agreed to keep it for myself because we were sure that they would never come here to see you, but now things are different."

You sighed and tried to restrain some tears.

"Don't worry, we will be there if you need anything." Svenja reminded you.

~~~~~

An hour later, you were back at home. Feli noticed the change in mood but didn't say anything, at least not to you. She waited until you went to your bedroom to take your sister apart.

"Julie, what happened?" The defender asked.

"I don't think I'm the right person to talk to you about. I think you should see it directly with her." Your sister replied. "And honestly, I think she may need your help." She added.

In the bedroom, you were curled up on the bed while trying to stop spiraling–which was almost impossible–when you heard the door getting opened. You didn't have to look to know that it was your girlfriend who was visibly worried about your state.

"Hey liebe(love), what's going on?" She asked after she sat next to you.

"I don't want to play tomorrow." You said making her more worried than before.

"Why?"

"Because that means I would have to see them, which I don't want."

"Who? Your parents?" You didn't reply and just nodded. She laid down next to you and cuddled you as much as possible. "Listen, I don't know what happened with them, but can you explain me why you feel like that? You are usually the one who always complains that they never come to see you play, and now you're not happy with that."

"Trust me, you don't want to know." 

"Of course, I want Y/n. They're the ones who raised you, and... they're your parents."

"They were." You stated making the defender's heart shatter at your expression. "They stopped being my parents at the moment they stopped seeing me like their daughter." 

"What happened?" She asked after a little silence.

"Nothing," you replied. Your body was slightly shaking, and you were crying again. "nothing happened. They just hate me because I... because I..." You couldn't find the strength to finish your sentence while you were remembering your sudden departure from the place you once called home.

Feli tried to calm you, but nothing seemed to work.

"They hate me because I love you." You said, and now the defender started to put some pieces together.

"They don't like who you are?" She asked, and you shook your head. She finally dragged you into a bone-crushing hug while you continued to cry on her shoulder.

"It's okay, babe; I'm here. I'll not leave you." She said trying to shush you.

"I don't want to see them, please." You pleaded to no one because you knew that whatever happened, you would have to face them.

Your girlfriend pulled away from the hug and cleared some tears from your face. "Hey, hear me out, mein liebe(my love). Even if these people don't like you, we will always be there for you. Me, Julie, and the team. And even Cinnamon and my parents too." She kissed one cheek and the other before she spoke again. "If they don't love you because of who you are, that's their problem. For me, you are the most beautiful and incredible woman who ever walked on this planet; you are perfect, and nothing could change that. I will not let some horrible people think that they can change that. I love you, and I don't care if I have to fight your parents or the entire planet to have you by my side, because I would definitely do it."

Your sobs were more calm after her confession. That was the first time someone said something like that to you. "Do you mean it?" You asked.

"Of course. And look, my parents already love you, so you don't have to care about what your parents think about us. And I was thinking that if one day I have to ask for someone's blessing to marry you, it will definitely be your sister..."

She continued to ramble for a moment until you kissed her, and she realized what she said.

"I mean only if you want, of course." She said making you laugh quietly.

"Let me some time to think about it, but I would be happy with that." 

You stayed in your girlfriend's arms for a moment until you heard someone knock on the door. When Julie opened it, she could tell that you cried a lot, but from your expression and Feli's tight grip, she could also guess that you finally decided to tell her about your past.

"Excuse me, I don't want to ruin anything, but I think we have a birthday to celebrate, and we still don't do anything today." Your sister reminded you.

~~~~~

The final whistle announced the end of the match, and with that, your victory. You were celebrating with your teammates when you spotted your sister and your parents among the VfL fans. You shoot a sincere smile at your sister but decide to ignore the other adults to not ruin the mood of the team.

After a little celebration in the locker room, it was time to leave. You were in the bus waiting for Feli to come, but the defender didn't show up since you left her a few minutes earlier.

"Hey, Poppi, do you know where Feli is?" You asked your captain, a little confused, not to see your girlfriend anywhere.

"She said she had someone to see, but she should be back really quickly." The striker replied, and despite your pout, there was nothing you could do except text her.

In the parking lot, your sister was talking with your parents when they heard someone coming in their direction.

"Feli?" Your sister asked very confusedly.

"Hi Prinzessin, I hope you enjoyed the game." The defender said while she hugged the younger woman. After she pulled away, she looked at your parents and held her hand, which they shook much to her surprise. "Hi, I'm Felicitas Rauch. I think you saw me play earlier."

"Yeah. We don't usually watch football; we came because our little girl wanted to see this match, but I need to say that I'm very impressed by your performance." Your mom said with a rather bright smile, and that's almost made your girlfriend feel sad to know that the smile that she loves the most came from someone who hates you the most.

"Yes, I have to say that I agree with my wife on that; your team was very good." Your father added, and the defender offered them a fake smile. Julie watched the interaction, totally flabbergasted by everything.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that, but I came to talk to you about something else." The German said, earning a confused look from the couple. "I'm Y/n's girlfriend." At those words, your parents faces changed suddenly. The bright and welcoming smile was quickly replaced by a heinous and disgusted expression. "See, I'm not here to ask for your blessings or anything like that. No, I came to tell you to never show in front of her again. You already destroyed her too much in the past, and it took me a very long time to put the pieces together. I don't know why you showed up today, but judging by your expression and your lack of good feelings for her, I don't think you're here to make things up. I just want you to leave and never come back. You ignored her for the most part of her career. I think it will not be very difficult to do the same a little longer."

"I knew it." Julie mumbled to herself after your girlfriend finished her speech.

"I don't say goodbye; just go straight to hell and leave her alone." The defender said before going back to the team bus.

Almost five minutes later, you were talking with Dom and Lena when you saw your girlfriend finally walking to the bus with an angry expression. However, this feeling totally got washed away when she saw you tap the seat next to you to indicate that you had saved her a seat. She crashed next to you and intertwined your fingers before resting her head on your shoulder.

"Where were you?" You asked quietly.

"Saying goodbye to someone." She said with a proud smile. When you nodded and were about to resume your previous chat, she grabbed your face with her free hand, making you look at her. "I'm really lucky to have you in my life, mein liebe." She said making you blush.

"I'm very lucky too." You replied. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[traegorn]

Hey-o! Tis the season for people to talk about how the holidays were "actually pagan" and I'm on the hunt for sources about how that's really not the case, if you have any you'd recommend!

Okay, so the problem is there are so many weird "Christmas is stolen!" bullshit memes going around, it's so hard to just give you a comprehensive list of sources. Christmas celebrations have evolved as the religion has spread, and different things come from different times...

The key here is to go for academic sources. This is a question of history, and a well supported historical research is going to tell you whether they're operating from primary, secondary or tertiary sources.

So while I can't give you a simple list, let me give you a couple of examples off the top of my head and give you tips on how to investigate any the dumb claims that get passed around.

Christmas being in December: So a lot of people go for the "Christmas is in December so it can steal from [INSERT SOLSTICE CELBRATION]" is ahistorical... because we know exactly why Christmas is in December. Because the guys who made the decision argued with each other and left behind written documentation. The two big names you need to look up are  Clement of Alexandria (who pitched January 6th) and Hippolytus of Rome (who proposed December 25th). This is around the turn of the third century, and you can find both of their writings. Some folks have questioned the authenticity of some of Hippolytus of Rome's writings, but Clement of Alexandria's seem well supported. These were internal arguments about when the birth of Christ took place within the early church, and when they settled on late December. There are reasons for this, and you can read their arguments (it largely has to do with the importance of when Jesus was conceived -- they wanted that to be an important date and then added nine months to it). Importantly though, because linear time is a thing, this means Christmas was set in December before the Christianization of the Germanic and Norse tribes... so anyone who says Christmas was set to December to correspond with Yule doesn't understand the concept of "coincidences."

The Christmas Tree: The Christmas tree was invented in 16th century Germany. That's... that's just written down all over the place. Now, there are legends about Martin Luther being the first who did it -- but I'm pretty certain that's just an embellishment that got added on. There are preceding traditions where part of an evergreen was brought into the home as a part of solstice traditions (though some will claim the Egyptians did this? Which is wild -- likely misinterpreting their use of palm fronds as the same thing), but the act of taking a whole ass tree, cutting it down, putting it in your house, and decorating it? That's 16th century Germany all the way. You can rabbit hole so many sources on that one, but honestly just pick apart the citations on the Wikipedia page. Putting a branch in your house and dragging a whole tree in are very different acts.

Jesus's story is copied from [INSERT RANDOM GOD]: There are so many of these, and some are just downright disrespectful to major world religions (the Krishna version of the meme especially). The answer is... just see if what the meme is saying about the god is supported by the mythology. Like I've seen ones that says Dionysus was "born of a virgin." If you know anything about the Greek gods, you're probably already laughing on the floor. Horus gets dragged into this too, because Gerald Massey was trying to pull a "White Goddess but with Dudes." But any serious research on Horus will tell you the supposed parallels aren't supported by the mythology.

So sorry, this wasn't so much sources you can use as it is how to look for them to begin with. Because there's just so, so much. This isn't even covering cases of syncretism, where pre-existing cultural traditions got continued post-Christianization. Because it's almost always the case that if a pre-Christian practice endured post Christianization, it's because people decided to keep doing it -- not because the church was trying to "steal" it. The latter means there was some mustache twirling plan behind it, when the former means (usually) the church went "Well, they're paying their tithes and saying it's for Jesus, so who gives a shit?"

I'm just going to finish this off with linking to my podcast episode on this, along with Ocean Keltoi's great Yule video on the topic. Hopefully that helps.

[the-delta-quadrant]

robyn holdaway (the person who played layla in sex education) made a tiktok about how most of the transantagonistic hate comments they get are calling them a girl to infantilise them, only rarely and in specific circumstances do they call them a woman to frame them as a groomer. they talked about how trans men & afab nonbinary people tend to be infantilised.

then i realised that this never actually happened to me.

like, i've seen this happen to specific people time and time again. i've seen enough general statements about "poor girls destroying their lives" and needing to be saved. i've seen it so much that i've internalised it. after all, i'm the thing they're talking about.

but looking back on my 7 years of being out, i don't really remember ever getting infantilised like that. pretty much all i ever got was comments calling me a groomer.

and i think it's in large (hehe) part because i'm fat.

it's way harder for them to infantilise someone who is physically big, possibly bigger than them. also the way fatness is often hypergendered, people tend to automatically assign a certain level of inherent masculinity to me. UwU smol enby or even UwU softboi isn't something that is afforded to fat people, and to other groups too.

a lot of whether you fall into the "child" or "groomer" category seems to just come down to appearance. people who have taken testosterone and are at the point where they are seen as men don't tend to get infantilised. they get framed as dangerous groomers. i've seen more than enough trans men, transmascs & nonbinary people talk about this.

and apparently this can also happen if you haven't medically transitioned and just happen to be fat, because we are also stereotyped as creepy and dangerous. it wouldn't surprise me if this happened to a lot of PoC too, as they're stereotyped as dangerous too, but i can't personally speak to that experience.

all it took is to be fat for me to just skip "child" and level up straight to "groomer".

looking back even further, i was never infantilised for gender transgression, even when i was thinner. even when i thought i was cis or wasn't as openly nonbinary, people would frame me as dangerous. people at my school would call me a common german slur that basically translates to "fighting lesbian".

and if you wanna go all the way back, even as a child when i was pretty gender conforming i was never treated like a child either due to many traumatic experiences. also apparently when you're a very tall child people just ignore your age or something.

but yeah. the whole "trans men and afab nonbinary people only ever get infantilised" isn't actually true for a lot of us.

they infantilise people that they perceive as any kind of feminine. they grab onto that "femininity" and try to "save" them. they think if there's even a slither of femininity left in someone, they're not lost to the "trans cult" yet. this is why they love going after people who had top surgery but aren't on T.

but many of us are perceived as inherently masculine, as the people doing the grooming rather than the kids being groomed, as the worst traitors of womanhood.

antitransmasculinity hits different when you're not thin.

[rattkachuk]

Hello! Hope you are having a good day.

So I have a question for you, just ignore when you don't feel like answering.

I came to Mattdrai via the enemies/rivals to lovers tag and then got sucked into hockey. I really like the fanon take on Leon, fav character, fanon Matthew was fine but way too woobified and infantilized in so many fics. So my surprise when I started to watch games, interviews etc. Public Matthew is so confident, so loving, awesome family to back him up, especially Brady, hot as hell, sexy way of playing hockey, amazing public persona. Loved and respected by his team, beyond hockey.

Then Leon. His only trait seems to be that he's pissy which I can appreciate but it seems that he's just a downright mean, arrogant guy with a superiority complex (see that interview when he puts Silovs down.) I don't find him stoic at all but he's just seems boring and bland and yeah, pissy. It doesn't seem like he has fun or likes his team a lot or is liked by them (Connor aside and his skills aside.) His friendship with Connor seems the only endearing or likeable thing. He even looks good in a bland way and his hockey is while it's so skillful it's not hot and also I wonder why his dirty plays aren't called out more often.

So what do I miss? Where does great fanon Leon come from? Why is he written mostly so superior to Matthew and where comes the "his team likes Leon so much but Matthew is an outcast in his own team come from?) It's so far from what I gather from old and new interviews or games and I have watched a lot, also German interviews. I really would like to like Leon, shipping them had been more fun when I didn't find his public self so jarring. What do I not see what everyone else seems to get?

Sorry for the long ask! Have a great day and thank you

first off thank you for such a thought out ask! i don't get to dive into things like this a lot outside of writing fic and it got my brain gears going.

to get right into the bulk of this ask: i get what you are saying about leon. that can be the way he comes off for sure, and look everything i'm gonna say? i'm talking out of my ass here. i don't claim to know anything about him as a person besides what's publicly presented, and i don't have much right to theorize about why he is the way that he is, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about it. how would i write rpf otherwise, right 💀

i think he cares a lot. and i think sometimes he gets so wrapped up in things, how things should be, how he should be performing, etc, and when it doesn't go a certain way he gets frustrated and snarky (eg, pissy comments and such). but i don't see that being bad necessarily, especially when it's seems to come from such a team oriented state of mind. which, i dont think he dislikes his team at all? i think if anything, he has a sort of blind faith in his team, and that's the only context i could see a 'superiority complex' making sense in. and yah maybe a little misplaced at times, but ultimately i think it comes from believing so fully in his team and not seeing that come to fruition. he really does not seem to care about his individual performance much at all, so how self obsessed can he be? when i think about leon i just see someone that is ultimately very passionate and committed to the game he plays. i'm also curious to know where you get the vibe that his team doesn't like him? simply because i never got that impression from any of the other oilers, they all seem like they're obsessed with him.

beyond hockey, i see a caring, sweet, kindhearted individual. anytime i see a picture or vid of him interacting with bowie, or even the things his girlfriend posts about him, the comments he leaves for people on ig, and yah of course in the way he talks/acts around connor, i see fragments of someone soooo different than the little two minute post game interviews (which, can we judge any hockey player on those? i think they all hate them dfkjgsd). it's not always something i actively go digging for or have examples of the top of my head, but i do see it, and it definitely goes into creating the version of leon that i have in my mind.

hey, and, he's a silly guy!!! please, i know the reputation is pissy and humourless, ESPECIALLY in fic, but that man is so funny. so many random offhanded comments that make me pause and then laugh. a different sense of humour but it's so there. i love the sandcastle vid from the asg last year and feel like it's a good example of that, all sunburnt and happy. also hey, big man in tune with his fear of the ocean? love that. that little vid of him dancing on the ice earlier this season, those halloween photos where he's dressed as a monkey, every time he talks to a kid. hell, seeing him in warmups and watching the way he takes time to interact fans?? loveee watching warmups but i'd never had a player actually acknowledge my existence before leon!

also i really enjoy his personality on the ice, i like the rat behaviour and the sassy comments that he makes to other players/refs, i like the bitch moves, and i like his hockey too. i think his game is dependable and like you said skillful, and while maybe not the most creative, the sureness and the technical aspect it is hot to me. so my thoughts on everything are probably skewed in that regard.

anyways this was just a whole lot of rambling about why i find him interesting, endearing even, but i understand the perception you have. i don't like some players that other people love, just cause i cant see what they see. and honestly that's sometimes just the way it is! if you don't like leon, maybe u just don't like him and thats fine.

disclaimer that i have only been on hockeyblr for a couple years, and really didn't spare many thoughts for leon til the beginning of the 22/23 season. truthfully i'm hardly the person to ask about leon imo, but of course i have thoughts anyways! if someone else with more knowledge reads my bit of rambling here, please feel free to chime in and add your voice to this!

and side note, ofc, i have to touch on this bc who would i be if i'm not one to talk about matthew; in the way of m.tkachuk, i think that in the early days of mattdrai it was maybe a fair take away during his time with the flames (minus the woobifying). even though he was loved so much here and had some fucking times, and i think the team was mostly good to him (player wise if not regarding management, that is), i see such a stark difference now that he's on the panthers. he seems much happier and more confident, and obviously he's clicking with the cats on another level, and i do see a shift in how he's been portrayed in fics since tbh.

[mysticficti0n]

All my attention Part 6

warnings- swearing, drinking, flirting, dirty talk to the max, Degrading but not in a mean way?

words- 3.3k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well

(also would you guys want me to do smut for this? I don't have to if you don't want it but... I could write some good pieces for the next few chapters?????)

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

Everyone arrived by 8:50 and were all seated around a extremely large table, each family sat drinking and laughing over different things, on our side of the table (meaning me, Tom, Gustav, Gustav's grandpa, Georg and Bill) we all chatted about random ideas we had for the next shows

"good evening, could we get you all started on food?" a man around my mothers age smiled pulling a note pad out and a pen

"yes can we have-" Stefan schafer, Gustav's dad began pointing to things on the menu and pointing to the people who wanted it "-perfect thank you" the man nodded collecting all the menus in and the chatter began again, me and Tom sat across from our grandmas who were on about something they'd watched on tv

"I'm bored" Tom whispered in my ear causing me to roll my eyes

"we've been here 20 minuets" he sighed falling back into his chair and his grandma seemed to notice turning to him

"Tom- whats wrong darling?" the boy sat properly again and took a swig of his drink

"nothing just hungry" he spoke watching the old women tilt her head "...I'm bored" Catrina nodded looking to me

"you have Y/n/n for company, she's a lot of fun aren't you?" I nodded my head looking to the boy who just laughed "oh actually me and Josie were just saying- we watched your interview! with that hunky man Karter, you two looked delightful, well all of you did" she grinned rubbing my hand over the table

"yeah.." Tom trailed getting comfy again, reaching arm the back of my seat and playing with the ends of my hair "we wont be going back to him in a rush"

"why not?" my gran asked "he's a handsome man"

"nothing to worry about Nanna" I spoke smiling to her, she can become a very angry women if she found out someone did anything bad to us, she'd personally hunt them down if she could.

Time passed slowly but the smell of food only made us hungrier, Toms hand had moved from my hair to my shoulder drawing a circle over and over

"and here we are-" the same waiter came over with two others holding trays of food, there was 21 of us.. we all sat straight and the small laughter of my sister caused us all to laugh, I had the pesto tortellini with Parmesan, and many also copied me

"thank you" we all said starting our meal, I dug my fork in and bought the steamy pasta to my mouth "oh wow thats amazing" I hummed putting more onto the fork, Tom looked over then to the bowl and back to me "you chose to have the chicken Schnitzel, I said about this"

"oh please!" he moaned "one bite- you can have some chips" he quickly stabbed his fork into the fries and brought them to me "come on"

"fine" I gave into his ways and took the chips and past him my fork with the pasta on the end, he hummed a quick thank you and smiled tasting the food "good right?" Tom nodded swallowing the pasta, I turned back to eating and listening to the different conversations around the table

"you know I was thinking about something" Bill began looking down to us on the table "a tv show, like filming while in rehearsals and we could go round during tours and trying things... Felix said about it" The idea of being filmed 24/7 didn't sound fantastic, I enjoy my privacy but.. if that means we get to do fun stuff..

"who'd wanna watch us though, outside of music were just boring" Gustav added "you could do a documentary about every girl Toms fucked" Gustav's mom slammed his hand making us all laugh

"at least they'd say they came unlike the girls you've done" Tom hit back making the drummer huff "but I like the idea-" Georg nodded as well but I still sat undecided

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(okay I cba to write about the restaurant but lets say, lovely meal hugs kisses etc)

"Oh why don't we go to that bar" Simone pointed out, the bars name was naughty lad and music was booming through the walls, the boys seemed intrigued looking through the steamed windows

"I think we'll head back with the grandparents, Stella is nearly asleep so could you bring Y/n back?" my mom asked passing my sister to my dad

"sure, we'll keep her safe don't worry" David, Georg's dad spoke wrapping an arm around me "you get home and relax" with a quick hug my parents got into the car and drove away leaving me with the boys and their parents which wasn't unusual, having a younger sister makes life harder to always enjoy. Together we all walked into the bar and 'hot in here' by Nelly was blasting through the speakers

"drinks?" Bill asked pulling his wallet out "Guessing a vodka coke for you?" I laughed seeing Bill roll his eyes "you need to try more- I'm getting you something else"

"Get me whatever she has!" Tom shouted to his brother who nodded walking to the rest of the group who found themselves sat at a booth "wanna smoke quickly?" I agreed feeling his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back out the door, he went into his pocket pulling his cigarets out and handing me one with his lighter

"thank you" I chirped lighting the end and then his "I can't get over you tonight" I spoke catching myself at the end

"its alright babe, you can take it off me later" his voice turned suggestive and a smirk plastered his face "aww turning red aren't you?" his free hand cupped my jaw and I felt my knees go weak at his touch- what was he doing

"shut up-" I groaned pushing him away jokingly "I was trying to be nice and say you look good" Toms face softened and nodded along to my words

"I know, but I just love making you all red for me" he cooed putting a hand on my waist "it makes you even more beautiful" Tom leaned in, my heart started pounding in my chest, is this what he meant by being 'worse' I knew I wanted to kiss him again as he closed the distance between us, our lips just inches apart, he hesitated. With a sly grin, he pulled back, leaving the me confused "don't want to be caught do we?" I narrowed my eyes seeing him chuckle "aw did you want me to kiss you Y/n?"

"its okay, I'll find someone in there who will" his face dropped and his grip on my only tightened "maybe I'll bring them home with us?"

"mhm... I don't think so-" The boy was cut by the long haired bassist peaking his head around the door "what?"

"drinks are here" he pulled the door open wider and the two let me in first, I pushed past people dancing along to the music and trying not to get any type of liquid on my dress, finally the booth came into view and Bill sat smiling reaching for my hand I took it and he pulled me next to him

"okay drink this first then I'll tell you what it is" he shouted over the music, I turned to the drink and saw it was a radioactive green with a yellow hue, I picked up the champagne coup and brought it to my lips taking a sip

"Ugh What the fuck is that!" I called nearly heaving at the taste of something like black liquorish

"Death In The Afternoon! I thought you'd like it!" a smile creeped onto his face as he took the glass and finished it "let me get you another one!" The boy pleaded

"come on Y/n don't be boring!" Gustav laughed swigging his arm around me

"fine but I don't want that shit ever again" soon I watched the tallest twin wonder to the bar and point to something on the menu clapping his hands as the bar man turned away "oh- whats that?" I asked seeing the black haired boy smirking holding a small glass fully yellow but with some red falling into the glass, speaking of the glass it had a slice of lemon and mint dotted on top

"this is a Mai Tai" Bill said handing me the drink and watched me as I sipped at the liquid, I hummed at the taste of Malibu and orange running down my throat

"wow this is good" I drank more seeing the singer do a small dance knowing he'd defeated my 'vodka coke' love

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I sat in the booth wedged between Simone and Bill who were laughing about something stupid and I was on my 5th mai tai giggling when something funny was mentioned, I wasn't drunk but I was tipsy, I saw Simone leave the conversation and look to the dance floor "OH MY GOD!" She got up running to the floor pulling me along with her

"SIMO-" I began but then I herd it 'don't stop the music' by Rihanna start to play, ever since the song came out earlier in the year me and her loved it, we danced around with large smiles painted across our faces "I wanna take you away Let's escape into the music DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it" Simone grabbed my hand spinning me around while still belting out the lyrics "Please don't stop the music!" we finished laughing loudly and sweat running down our foreheads I looked to the booth to see them all clapping at our stupidness we took a bow and Simone went to sit down next to her boyfriend who she wrapped her arms around and kissed making her sons cringe and I decided id go sit next to Tom- we'd barley spoke since we had that smoke out side, he was sat holding a glass of clear liquid and rolling his eyes over at his brother

"hey!" I called sliding myself next to him in the booth

"hi- you okay?" I nodded my head grabbing my drink of the table and In a quick swig finishing It off "you might wanna slow down on them" the boy laughed pulling my empty glass from me but I couldn't understand a word as the music got louder around me

"what? I didn't hear you!" he rolled his eyes but quickly moved closer, the arm around my shoulder moved to hold my bare thigh as he leaned into my ear

"I said, you might wanna slow down on the mai tai" his fingers tapped on my skin causing a odd sensation I'd never felt before shiver up my body, they danced on my leg edging to go just slightly under my skirt but he stopped everytime

"oh-oh yeah... well wanna go to the bar and help me chose something different?" Tom nodded and the two of us stood back up, he grabbed my hand, closing his fingers tightly around mine and pulled me through the crowd, yanking me when I stopped, as we got to the bar he pulled me a bar stool out making me sit in front of him while he stood close behind, his stomach on my back and his one hand on my waist

"you like the fruitier cocktails right?" I nodded my head looking at the menu and something caught my eye- The Blue Hawaii, rum, vodka Blue curacao, pineapple juice and Lemon juice

"I think I want the blue Hawaii!" I looked back to the dreaded boy who nodded his head pulling his wallet out "no Tom, let me pay!" I hurried into my purse to grab the €10 I needed

"Y/n fuck off, I'm buying me and drink and you one- put the money away" he huffed grabbing my money and shoving it back into the bag "let me treat you babe" my heart ached at the words and so I let him do what he wanted and I just leaned back on him and waited to be served. The bartender finally turned to us and grabbed a bottle of something "erm can we have a blue Hawaii and a vodka cranberry, thanks" Tom handed the money over me, his chest pressing on me and his other hand back on my thighs for support

"be 5 mins" the man behind the counter said before walking off to the other side of the bar

"I need a piss, stay here don't move alright?" Tom commanded, quickly patting my head like I was some kind of dog and running to the bathroom, I sat kicking my legs watching others conversations and giggling to who ever they're with

"hey.. anyone sitting here?" I turned to a voice I'd never herd before and saw a man stood there holding a empty glass

"no! you can sit don't worry" a small laugh left him and he perched onto the chair and I finally got to see his face, He's very good looking, I couldn't help but admire his features. something about him that made him stand out from the rest, his black hair and brown eyes. His hair is perfectly styled in little waves along his head, and it shines in the light. I found myself staring to his smile. It's warm and inviting, i can't help but smile back. It's infectious.

"thanks, I'm Brandon- thought I'd introduce myself so I'm not creepy" I laugh at him as I turn to speak to him better

"oh I'm Y/n, my seat will be free soon once me and my mate have our drinks" I spoke still just admiring him, it might've been the alcohol but he was gorgeous

"shame, I'm enjoying this- little old me speaking to a beautiful girl.. I say old- I'm not I'm 19, you?"" I blushed to his words

"oh 17 but I get mixed up with being either 23 or 13 most days" he chuckled at my comment

"where you from anyways?"

"Leipzig, you?" he nodded his head

"Dresden" we kept speaking till mine and Tom's drinks arrived and I quickly grabbed them "so who are you here with?"

"just my friends and some family- celebrating coming home- actually my friend should be here soon" I looked back and I saw Tom staring at me with a scowl across his face "oh erm, he's over there so I might see you later?" I smiled grabbing the drinks off the table

"yeah sure, maybe I can get your number and we could go out for drinks?" he sounded so sweet and eyes bright with hope, but I knew I had to be careful giving my number out for security reasons and also I think Tom would kill me

"maybe yeah!" I laughed it off as I walked over to he boy who looked through me to Brandon, crossing his arms "how long were you stood watching me?" I asked passing him his drink

"long enough" his seriousness scared me, what was his issue "he really liked you didn't he? eyes wondered you like a fucking map" he spat gulping his drink basically in one

"Tom I think you're being a bit dramatic, he didn't even flirt with me" it was a partial lie as he did ask for my number...

"still-" I saw the guitarist sulk a little sipping the last of his drink and staring into the distance and that when I realised it

"are... are you jealous?" his eyes shot up to me but he didn't fight my words, and I wanted to keep pushing him "come on, you can tell me" I fluttered my eyelashes at the boy who just looked away, without thinking my hand reached for his jaw and brought his gaze back to me, I was shocked with myself but I couldn't lose my control now "look at me when I'm talking to you" I spoke closer to him in a low whisper, his eyes seemed deeper and narrower, I was doing it "you don't like it when I speak to other guys hm? don't like them looking at me, thinking of me...touching me" I let the last words roll of my tongue and I could see behind his stare he was getting angrier "talk to me pretty boy"

My hand was swatted from his face as Tom pulled me by my wrist back into the cubicles, each small individual rooms with a crappy dim light glaring into the room, hurriedly we went to the first unlocked block and slammed the door closed and he locked it with a click, my back pressed against the cold tile wall and Tom stood over me I close my eyes as his lips press against mine. His hands moved around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he wrapped his arms around me. His lips soft and perfect, his breath warm on my skin. I can feel my heart racing as we move together, our bodies intertwined. His hands move higher, caressing my back as we kiss. I can feel my skin tingling with anticipation as I move my hands up his chest, exploring his body. I can feel the electricity between us, the passion rising.

"You- you are a little cunt sometimes" I feel him smile into my cheek pressing kisses into my skin "but.. fuck we both know you'd never want them...as much as you want me" I hold my breath at the feeling of him humming into my ear, my arms tangle around his neck pulling him back to my lips "god you are so desperate for me" I pull back slightly opening my eyes and seeing a smirk plastering his face

"who's the one that dragged me into here?" he tilted his head in agreement but I could wait any longer, our lips smashed back together and our bodies collided once again, hungrily I moved down to his jaw peppering the line with kisses and edged down to his neck, my lips danced around until I reached just below his ear and his grip on me tightened and a noise threatened to escape his throat, I dove back into the spot sucking and pecking at it, hearing him struggle and try pry me off

"fuck Y/n- please" he begged "shit... I-I" his stuttering made my heart swell and I pulled away to see small beads of sweat forming, I looked to his eyes and they were full of glazed tears of lust

"aw- I'm sorry, didn't you like it?" I played with a strand of his hair as he shook his head no

"I fucking loved it" his lips landed back on me as he groaned into the kiss, I smiled feeling his hands go under my thighs and lift me onto his hips, my dress pushing up revealing the red panties I put on earlier "shit you are so hot" the boy whined kissing my chest, nibbling lightly at the skin

"ah- Tom" His eyes caught mine again and smile only spread further, my hands grabbed his shoulders pushing myself up and he only toyed with me more, licking my skin that was sore from being between his teeth and small noises seeped from my mouth only pushing him further "shit... Fuck Tommy- I..." his nickname came out so naturally but in the sluttiest moan I'd ever done

" God Y/n, I don't what the first place we fuck to be in a bathroom baby, so keep that pretty little mouth quiet because you're making it so hard to keep that from happening" my heart nearly exploded out my chest, I went like putty, foreheads knocking together at his words, Tom caught my lips In one last sweet kiss and put me back onto the floor "so beautiful-" Tom whispered into my ear one last time before pulling away still holding my waist

"only for you" I smiled kissing him once more again before we stood there holding each other panting and puffy lipped

[billkaulitz-grrrl]

You Make My World Stop Turning -Bill Kaulitz x Reader

Hello everyone! This is my first Tokio Hotel fic and I really hope you like it! I’m new to the fandom so sorry if there are any inaccuracies ahead of time.

Synopsis: You’re the daughter of Tokio Hotel’s manager and recently you’ve become rather close to a certain singer…

MATURE!!!

His hands, god his hands could send me into a coma just by looking at them. I sat, tapping my pen on the clipboard that was handed to me by my father (their manager) as the four band members began warming up for their latest show in a few hours.

        I closed my eyes and tried not to fixate on Bill's hands. He held the microphone with such little care, it looked like the device could tumble out of his hand any second but somehow he manages to balance it well enough to keep it off the floor. God he's so annoyingly flawless that it makes my blood boil on occasion.

Bill and I have always just been good friends. I wouldn't say he's my best friend by any means but we always acknowledge each other and chat for awhile when I accompany my dad to their functions. Last night was different though, last night felt different. Or maybe it just felt different to me, with his millions of fan girls I doubt he'd look for a second at the girl he's known since we were 12.

I didn't even intend on hanging out with Bill alone last night but he caught me outside of the hotel smoking a cigarette in the middle of the night. We ended up sitting and talking for a long time. It was nicer than I would've expected. A small part of me dreaded this tour that took up the rest of my beautifully laid out summer. I had all these plans with friends before my mother decided to tell me I was going to Germany to stay with my father during the summer so she could move to Australia for this temp job at the company she's dedicated her entire life to. My german isn't even that good.

I sighed and stood up to go to the bathroom when their first set of the day was over. I crossed backstage to the nicer bathrooms that normal people don't have access to. That is the nice part of being the daughter of a popular band's manager, the bathrooms I go into actually have toilet paper and sometimes even paper towels.

Right before I got to the bathroom I felt a hand grab my shoulder. It was Bill of all people. "Going to smoke up the bathroom?" He asked, a sly grin on his face. I fake a laugh and shake my head. "Dad would kick my ass if he knew I was putting your lungs in danger." I sighed. He looked around and leaned in a bit, "Wanna hangout again tonight?" He asked. I was surprised and he must've notice this because he followed up with, "If you don't want to that's fine, I just can't sleep after shows and your company last night was very soothing."

Why was my heart rate accelerating? Since when did little Bill get so attractive? Fuck this isn't real, I still have to pee. "Aren't you and the guys going to be taking fans up to your room tonight? You don't have the time to spend with me." I tried to keep my cool but something inside me was cracking.

Bill laughed and shook his head. "I could probably get you something else to smoke too if you're into it." He said, putting his fingers to his lips in the motion of smoking a joint. I raised my eyebrows and nodded vigorously. "Same spot?" I asked, thinking of the secluded little area behind the bushes that I located yesterday. He nodded and smiled that deadly smile at me again. I turned to finally use the bathroom with a new giddy feeling in my stomach.

—————

I huddled down into my little corner to

wait for Bill. We had never really settled on a time so I've been waiting for a few minutes. I truly hope he keeps his word and comes out here with me or else I would make quite the fool of myself waiting for him. I reached into my pocket and felt around for my cigs and my lighter. I lit it up and exhaled the smoke with a deep sigh. I heard a few footsteps to my left and I exited my book in order to take a peak at who or what was there. To my relief it was Bill, makeup off and hair wet from a shower.

"Hey there." I grinned, he sat besides me and returned my smile. "Hey, did you like the show?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. "Loved it as much as I've loved the rest of them." I said, offering him a drag from my cigarette. Without taking it from my hand he lightly held my wrist so I could hold it for him while he smoked off of it. A blush came to my cheeks at his dainty touch. I was forever grateful that it was dark enough to hide the red on my cheeks.

"That's good to know." He said, now fumbling in his pockets. He whipped out a joint that looked like it was rolled professionally. "Tom gave me one for tonight but normally he's pretty stingy about his weed." Bill said, asking for my lighter by holding out a hand. I placed it into his finely manicured hand and waited for him to light the joint between his fingers.

His hands caught my eye for the second time today. I heard my heartbeat in my ears watching him inhale the smoke. When offering me the joint, I leaned in the same way he did when hitting my cigarette and I hit it from his hand. Exhaling, I coughed a bit and curled up a little more to be comfortable.

"Did you get a good enough view tonight?" Is he making small talk??

"I did actually, sometime maybe I'll make it down right in front of the stage to watch you up close." I stated thinking about the hordes of fan girls that they had accumulated. "You want to watch me up close?" He smirked at me. I turned away to cover my face. "You're awfully bold if that's what you assume." I muttered, snatching the joint and hitting it myself this time.

"I mean I saw you watching me during practice, so I'd only assume that's how you watch me perform." He leaned a bit closer, our shoulders now touching. "What?" Was the only reply I could muster.

I smoked again, finally feeling the weed in my head. "I said-" He began before I cut him off with, "I heard what you said."

He exhaled with a laugh and took the joint from me. "I watch you sometimes too." He looked at me when he said that and it felt like the world had stopped turning.

"Why?" I asked, feeling like a complete idiot. "Because I think you're pretty." He said bluntly.

Silence fell between the two of us. I felt foggy enough to move in closer to him. He looked me in the eyes before suddenly he closed the space between us by connecting his lips to mine. I jumped at the opportunity and dropped my cigarette before placing my hands on the side of his face.

The moment became heated quickly as his hand made its way to my waist. I clamored onto him like it was the last thing I'd ever do. I sat in his lap and the kiss deepened. His hands moved up and down my sides as I began swirling my hips on top of his.

        He leaned his head back and groaned slightly at the contact. I leaned in once more to kiss him and I snaked my hands through his long dark hair. I felt completely primal in this moment, the only people in the world right now were us. I didn't even know how I felt about him until this moment, but apparently a secret part of me has been craving this since I had first met him.

        "Y/N..." He muttered, putting his hand on the back of my head and tugging my hair slightly back. "We should go upstairs, do you have your own room?" He asked. "Yeah, my dad is next door though." I said, capturing him in a deep kiss again. After a few more moments he pulled back again and slowly shifted me off of him so he could stand up. He offered me his hand and I took it, leading him towards the elevator to my bedroom.

        We stood awkwardly next to each other while waiting for the elevator to arrive. Neither of us wanted to spoil the moment by talking but we knew that at any moment someone could snap a photo of us holding hands that would send Bill's fan girls into an angry spiral.

        Once we heard the ding of the elevator we hurried inside, praying that we weren't seen.

        The second the elevator door closed he was on me in a flash. His hands began to roam across my body as his lips met my neck. I gasped at his abruptness and instinctively backed up against the wall. He pinned me against it quickly and continued his assault on my neck.

        I felt the elevator halt and instantly pushed him off of me and began to straighten my hair. He obviously felt rather proud of himself by the smug smile on his face as we walked out. I led him down the hall to my room and checked both ways for any paparazzi before opening the room and welcoming him inside.

        Instantly I shoved his jacket from his shoulders and onto the ground. "So hasty?" He asked, holding his arms out. "Please stop talking." I mumbled, looking away and feeling flustered towards what I should do next.

        "Are you nervous?" He asked, genuine hints of concern laced his voice. "Maybe I am, I don't want to stop though.." I replied, moving towards him again. He flashed me a smile and pressed our bodies together again. I gripped his hair and a deep groan came from his throat. Our hips came into contact with each other again and I felt his hard on through his jeans.

        I exhaled and took a step back, slowly taking off my sweatshirt, then my t-shirt. His pupils dilated at the sight of me standing there waiting for him, it was like a switch flipped in his brain as he collided with me once more, pushing me down onto my bed. I laid on my back and looked up at him as he began to undo his belt. I knocked his hands out of the way and took his belt off myself.

        "Y/N, can I show you a good time?" He asked, like we hadn't already been making out and groping each other for the past 10 minutes. "Please do, I need you Bill." I mumbled. That was all he needed to quickly yank down my sweatpants and clamber on his knees into the floor.

        "W-What are you doing?" I asked, sitting myself up on my elbows. "Can I? Make you feel good?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Yes Bill, of course.." "Then just trust me." He said, yanking my legs to the end of the bed and putting his face between my thighs.

        I gasped as his tongue made contact with my clit through my underwear. My right hand flying to grab his hair and my left hand gripped the bedsheets besides me. "Bill, please." I whined desperately. His lean fingers looped under my underwear and he pulled them down my legs. Next thing I knew he dove into me like it was the last thing he'd ever do.

        It took everything in me not to scream his name at the top of my lungs. His tongue lapped at my clit while his fingers made their way inside of me over and over again. Whenever my legs clamped around his head, he used both arms to push them apart so he could continue to finger fuck me to the best of his ability.

        I moaned his name which only caused him to speed up. His dark eyes met mine and I felt a knot begin to form in my stomach. "Please don't stop Bill, please I need this!" I whined loudly. He stopped what he was doing to ask, "Please can you repeat that?" I felt incredibly pissed off that he had stopped so of course I obliged. "Bill, please fuck me, I need it so badly." I sat up and grabbed his hair, pushing him down between my legs once more.

         He didn't seem to mind since his pace only increased. Never once has a man treated me this good.

His fingers suddenly stalled inside of me and he looked up at me again. “Can I fuck you?” He asked, lust lacing his eyes. “Please.” I smiled back at him. I scooted back on the bed as he got undressed. I looked away, because I was unsure as to whether I should be looking at him right now. “Baby?” Does he mean me? “Y-Yes?” I asked. I felt his hand on my jaw as he turned me to look at him. “Look at me. Don’t be afraid.” He said.

I looked at him and fully absorbed the sight in front of me. Bill Kaulitz standing, wearing nothing but dark grey boxers. I felt myself blushing. He chuckled a bit before crawling on top of me and taking off my bra. “You look so beautiful Y/N.” He said, dipping down to kiss my neck.

I thanked him before allowing my hands to wander down his torso to the hem of his boxers. His lips halted on my neck as I began to push them down.

All of a sudden, there was an abrupt knock on my door.

“Fuck!” I whispered, shoving Bill off of me and onto the floor next to my bed. “Honey? It’s dad, let me in.” I heard my father’s voice from the other side of the door. “J-Just a second! I’m changing!” I shouted back.

“Bill, get under the bed.” I whispered. His eyes were about as wide as I could only assume mine were. I threw my sweatpants and t-shirt back on to open to door.

Next thing I knew my father was in my hotel room asking me if I’ve been keeping up with my summer homework on tour while I sat on top of the bed that a nearly naked Bill laid under.

[trans-axolotl]

Perisex person here, asking purely out of curiosity: why are there so many different terms for not-intersex? Like dyadic, perisex, endosex, juxtasex. Are there differences in meaning or connotation? Is there some kind of complex history behind it or do people just not agree? It's interesting that there isn't a consensus for one word. Also, while I'm at it, is there one you personally feel would be best for me to use?

Hey! So they are slightly different in meaning and usage, even though they all basically mean the same thing. I'll share what i've learned, but other intersex people please feel free to add on your intepretations-a lot of this is going to depend on what intersex spaces you're in. There's not one right answer and I only have one perspective!

Dyadic: have seen this used online at least as early as 2011, most likely was being used earlier than that. some intersex people don't like it because they think that since it is based in the prefix "dyad" which means two, that it still reinforces the sex binary. I personally really like the term compulsory dyadism and think that's an incredibly useful concept, but don't use dyadic as much anymore because I don't think it is as popular a term and I want to avoid confusion.

Perisex: coined on tumblr around like....2014? Seems to be used mostly on tumblr. I don't think I've ever seen any in depth critiques of the term but I tend not to use it as much because it hasn't really caught on in any other intersex spaces. nothing wrong with using it, just my preference. Some people in the notes added on that it’s the preferred term in their country, which is awesome!

endosex: coined by Heike Bödeker, a German intersex activist in 2000. Endo means "inner" or "internal" and is used to signify that someone fits within the constructed sex binary. This is the term that seems to be most widely used in physical intersex spaces, and also is used more internationally. For that reason, this is definitely the term I prefer-although we aren't at a consensus in intersex spaces, this seems to be the most popular term in the region I'm in, and lots of resources, materials, language guides, etc, are starting to use it. Of course, that could always change and that's fine!

juxtasex: have never heard it before now. i never have problems with intersex people creating more language to describe our experiences, but am not familiar with it at all!

I would personally recommend sticking with endosex--I think that is the terms you are going to get the most recognition with. It hasn't really become popular on tumblr, because most of us who blog about intersex stuff use perisex or dyadic, but I think that endosex is a really good term to use irl if you want to talk about intersex topics.

as always other intersex people feel free to add on or disagree!