#like who am i to judge when i literally think about legos half the time

[ghostcrackerrs]

sometimes i get really surprised when i find out there’s a fandom for some media that i DID NOT EXPECT to have one but then. i remember im literally in the lego ninjago fandom n i CANNOT be talking

[kafeuka]

playing cupid

▄ title: playing cupid ▄ written by: fasha ▄ wordcount: 17k ▄ summary: jungkook, the new assistant teacher, has a humongous crush on one of the children's dad. with the help of the Brattiest Brat in the kindergarten, jungkook might finally have the love storyline he deserved in life.

(aka jimin's kid plays matchmaker in an exchange for banana milk)

To whoever thought being a teacher in a kindergarten is an easy job, Jungkook would love to confront you with twenty pages of an essay, listing out the reason why you are very wrong and perhaps slap you to another universe where the statement was deemed acceptable.

While he would have loved to stay home and spend the rest of his day reading comic books or finishing a season of the latest anime he discovered, his mother had a different idea that involved him being in a kindergarten for six hours on school days.

‘How hard could it be?’ he initially thought.

After two days of working, he found an answer: it was, indeed, difficult.

Fortunately for Jungkook, his mother applied him as an assistant teacher – which meant his job would only be temporary. He would have quitted the moment he stepped a foot inside the Satan’s Playground, but the pay was good and he got free chocolate milks at the end of the day. Jungkook will never ever say no to free chocolate milks.

Including Jungkook, there were only three assistant teachers and the both of them were probably around his age. Being sociable was not his forte, but having children around made it easier to communicate with people.

Sooyoung and Hansol started working in January, making Jungkook the newbie. Jungkook was certain that those two have seen and experienced a lot of horrifying things to the extent that they developed some sort of special skill to avoid doing the tedious jobs. For example: changing the kids’ diapers.

Whenever they managed to sniff some smell that did not belong there, Sooyoung and Hansol would make themselves busy; leaving Jungkook to clean up some other kid’s shit. Never in his life he ever changed a kid’s diaper before, or had he ever washed someone else’s butt and there he was, internally screaming and outwardly crying during his first time doing said job.

So far, that was the worst thing Jungkook had done in the kindergarten.

But boy, could he get any more wrong.

Jungkook thought himself as someone who was fond of children although, he was pretty sure he would have chosen animals than kids any day but some kids really loved to get on his nerves. The kids loved him too, that was how he saw it anyway, but if he were to say a few things, it would be that he was not fond of Park Jooyeon.

Jungkook could swear, with God almighty and the teachers in the kindergarten as his witnesses, that Park Jooyeon was probably the Satan reincarnate herself. Judging from how expensive-looking her bag was, it was no mistake that she was a hundred percent a spoiled brat. And honestly, dealing with a spoiled brat was probably one of the worst things Jungkook had to experience in his nineteen years of life.

They were not allowed to use the word brat with the kids around, because as Sooyoung said, “That word is forbidden here,” but outside of the school, Jungkook was free to cuss at Park Jooyeon behind her back.

(That was really mature of Jeon Jungkook to do that. To a child. Yeah.)

In Jungkook’s honest opinion, he would have loved to get the kid kick out of the kindergarten. Some kids can be troublesome, but he had never seen such obnoxious, exasperating kid before.

And the fact that this Satan in the form of cute girl in a blue dress can speak fluently in words and well-strung sentences only made him want to choke himself to death.

Thankfully, Jooyeon was in the third kindergarten, which meant Sooyoung was the one that handle the class whereas Jungkook was in charge of the second kindergarten. Out of the three of them, only Sooyoung was patient enough not to hit the little monster. He could literally see the vein on Hansol’s forehead throbbing rather erratically when the curly haired bloke had to deal with Jooyeon.

However, on Jungkook’s third day of working, Sooyoung called in sick. Without the female warrior, the kindergarten gotten more chaotic as Jooyeon began acting up. She stole her friends’ food, broke the crayons and made three kids cry – and all of these happen in just the span of one hour.

The eldest teacher, Miyoung, suggested placing Jooyeon in an unused classroom and having one assistant teacher supervising her behaviour. Jungkook thought the idea was brilliant; at least they will have the peace they needed without the brat around.

“So, Jungkook, you can rest a bit today and leave the photocopying work to Hansol. You’ll be looking after Jooyeon.”

“Wait, what?”

    He would rather be given a lot of work (excluding changing diapers) than babysitting Park Jooyeon.

Jooyeon was sitting across of him at the orange-coloured table, just staring at Jungkook as if she was ready to challenge him to a fight.

‘She probably is,’ he thought bitterly with a frown.

Unexpectedly, she was somehow tolerable and less demonic when she was alone. Jungkook would not fathom how such kid can bring misery to the kindergarten. There was no doubt that she was probably the villain in some myth in her past life. The girl screamed trouble. The first time they met, he was fooled by her almond eyes and adorable voice. Thirty minutes after that, Jungkook had to calm down a kid she ‘accidentally’ hit with a lego.

‘One of these days, someone needs to meet her parents and tell them how wrong they’ve raised this girl.’

“Jooyeon, do you want to colour using crayons or colour pencils?” Jungkook tried in the sweetest voice he could muster as he stood up to grab a colouring book from the small shelf.

“Don’t wanna.”

“Listen, you insolent little bitch, I am going to be stuck with you for the next two hours and you have no choice to listen to me because I am the elder here and I have the power to order you around. If I were to be given a choice, I would rather headbutt myself to this brick wall and die from internal bleeding rather than being in the same room as you but Choi fucking Hansol, that sneaky son of a bitch, beat me into pretending he was busy and now here I am. Now, I’m going to ask you again, do you want to fucking use the crayons or colour pencils?” Jungkook demanded with gritted teeth.

Jungkook took a deep breath at the scene and the choice of words he used to scold Jooyeon inside his head and decided to push the thought far, far away as possible. Another deep breath later, he turned around to Jooyeon with a smile that he hoped looked genuine and beamed, “The colour pencils, it is!”

Unlike the behaviour she showed outside of the classroom, Jooyeon was far quieter and for once, actually listened to Jungkook.

Jungkook only watched as she looked as if she was having a conflict in deciding the shade for the flower she was going to colour next, and when she realised she was being observed, she looked up to Jungkook almost shyly.

He could not help but to bit his lower lip to prevent himself from giggling at the adorable reaction and scooted his chair closer to her. He pointed at the uncoloured sun on the book and asked, “Jooyeon, what is this?”

“The sun.”

“The sun? All right, then what is this?”

“Clouds.”

Jungkook nodded in satisfaction at her replies, and continued to watch as she slowly coloured the page. Jungkook had seen a few of her works when he was collecting papers and he had to admit that for a five year-old, she had her work done brilliantly than the others. Jooyeon might undeniably be a brat, but she was a smart kid. Jungkook overheard the teachers praising her during their meetings and when he first heard of this, he only scoffed in disbelief.

The two spent their time in silent, often Jungkook would try to make small conversations and she would always reply in short sentences, eyes never daring to look up to Jungkook. Not that Jungkook minded, anyways. As long as she did not make him cry, he was fine with it.

   “How was she?” Hansol chuckled.

‘Bastard.’ “Alright, I suppose. Did some colouring and they turn out nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Uhuh. What about you? Have you finished with the worksheets? Mr. Hyungwon asked me to scan the Shapes, Colours and Patterns workbook. Did you do that too?” Jungkook asked before bending down to pick up Yeri who came up to him and hugged his leg.

Yeri let out a giggle, wrapping her small arms around Jungkook’s neck. Hansol grinned at the kid, bopping her nose with his finger and replied, “I did.”

“Teacher Kook, Teacher Kook!”

“Yes?” Jungkook asked with a voice that was two octaves higher than usual, as he turned his attention to the kids who were tugging on his jeans.

“Jooyeon took my milk again!” Chan complained with a pout.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Somi nodded vigorously from behind Chan, hands tugging self-consciously at her braids. “And she said my braids are ugly too!”

Hansol only chuckled while Jungkook sighed, handing Yeri to him before he bent down to their level. “Your braids are not ugly, Somi. Don’t let her words get to you.”

“You think so?” Somi asked, eyes shining with hope.

Jungkook grinned so wide, it almost reached his ears. Children like Somi made his heart swell with adoration at their cuteness. “Yes, I do,” Jungkook assured her as he lightly pinched her cheeks, receiving a cute giggle in return.

“I’ll talk to Jooyeon and made sure she won’t get any milk, yeah? I’ll tell Teacher Miyoung not to give her any candy anymore, is that okay?”

“Okay!” Chan chirped with a nod.

“Now, go on and play. Remember not to push your friends, all right?”

   Six hours.

He was supposed to be in the kindergarten for six hours only – that was what his mother promised him at first.

But it had been six hours and a half, yet he was still hanging around in the lobby, sighing once in a while to look up to Jooyeon who was still sitting down in one of the brightly painted chairs. Not once did she take off her backpack, she chose to sit with it although it looked uncomfortable to Jungkook. Jungkook would have asked her to take it off, but after the stunt she pulled earlier (making two kids cry simultaneously), Jungkook did not have any energy left to speak to her.

Today was Jungkook’s duty to look after the kids when classes were over, and on this very eventful day, Jungkook was sure with every fibre of his being that Choi Hansol was an asshole. Jungkook cursed Hansol under his breath when Hansol gave him a wink before leaving the school. How dare that moron – he did not even offer to help!

All the kids were picked up by their guardians except for Jooyeon.

Even after school if over, this brat managed to make Jungkook suffer.

While he expected Jooyeon to create some havoc with her tiny yet disastrous hands, Jooyeon was sat silently on the chair and her dreamlike eyes were glued to the glass door, waiting for her guardian to pick her up. Jungkook was a bit humoured at this and decided that as long as Jooyeon was not going to turn the area upside down, he was fine with it.

After what seemed like forever, Jungkook decided to be a good teacher for once and for all, and approached the girl.

“Hey.”

He stood on his knees, glancing at the glass door before placing a hand on Jooyeon’s shoulder. “Seems like your mommy’s running a little late today, isn’t she?”

Jooyeon shrugged, eyes still glued to the glass door. Jungkook breathed out loudly through his nose.

“Wanna take your bag off for a sec? You’ll hurt your back like this.”

“No.”

“Jooyeon, are you bored? Wanna watch a cartoon with Teacher Kook?” Jungkook asked in the best honeyed voice he could muster. “We could kill some time.”

She turned towards Jungkook and blinked. “Killing is bad.”

Jungkook let out a soft chuckle and fixed his choice of words as he said, “We could watch cartoon while waiting for mommy. Is that okay?”

She hummed, playing hard to get with Jungkook as she fiddled her tiny fingers, making Jungkook wait for a response. Jungkook tilted his head, pouting while batting his eyelashes, hoping that his puppy face would work. Jooyeon broke into a grin when Jungkook did his pleading eyes and she nodded as a response. “Okay!”

   Fifteen minutes through Tom & Jerry’s Giant Adventure, they were interrupted by a loud cough. Jungkook had Jooyeon comfortable on his lap, his chin resting slightly on top of her head when he heard the cough. Groaning at the intrusion, he turned to the source only to find a young man with tangerine hair leaning against the wall with one hand in his pocket.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook whispered under his breath because that man looked like someone the ancient people sing about – breathtakingly gorgeous with the ability to break mortals’ hearts. Except that he would break hearts with the kind smile on his face and crescent eyes.

Jungkook did not realise he was staring (or drooling, to be accurate) at the man until he was missing the weight on his lap as Jooyeon leapt to the ground and ran towards the man. Tangerine’s grin widened when Jooyeon ran towards him, her voice high with happiness as she squealed, the bag behind her was bouncing with every step she took.

Tangerine lifted Jooyeon easily, letting out a giggle that Jooyeon’s cuteness coaxed out of him and Jungkook wanted to swear that it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever the pleasure of listening to (besides that cooking ASMR videos on youtube) but in this kindergarten, they were not allowed to swear.

With one hand hooked underneath Jooyeon’s bottom to support her and Jooyeon’s arms wrapped around his neck, he turned to Jungkook to give an apologetic smile when they were done having their father-daughter reunion moment. “Sorry for being late.”

“It’s—��� his voice cracked and he hoped that his expression was calm enough to make it not obvious that he was screaming in embarrassment internally. He cleared his throat before repeating, “It’s fine.”

The thing was: it was not fine.

This man just took nearly an hour of his life.

“No, it’s not,” Tangerine shook his head.

Jungkook wanted to snap, “Damn right and yet you’re still late.” But while Jungkook did not have the ability to talk normally to a handsome man, he was blessed with the ability to hold himself back.

“I am truly sorry for what happened, there was a thing in the office. Two workers got into a fight and I had to get involved to break them apart,” Tangerine continued, as if Jungkook was begging for him to tell the story of his life.

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Jungkook let out a humourless chuckle.

“I believe she’s well behaved, yes?” Tangerine questioned, eyes narrowing sceptically in a rather playful way at the girl he was holding.

Jungkook begged to differ, all the things he wanted to say was all ready at the tip of his tongue but they all evaporated into thin air when Jooyeon answered the question by nodding vehemently which caused Tangerine to let out a soft giggle.

“I certainly hope that was true,” Tangerine chuckled at Jungkook and Jungkook only smiled back. “Anyways, sorry again. I’m glad she’s in the hands of someone responsible. Thank you for taking care of her, Teacher.”

“Oh, no. I’m just the Assistant Teacher,” he corrected. He felt his cheeks warming up when he was called a teacher, embarrassed and feeling good at the same time. “And it’s my duty to take care of the students.”

“Well then. We better take our leave now. Good bye, Assistant Teacher,” Tangerine grinned before he walked away with a child in his arms.

Jungkook watched as they left, Jooyeon peeking from Tangerine’s shoulder to look at Jungkook. Instinctively, he raised his hand and waved at her, to which she waved back. He smiled at the innocent gesture.

And boy, he tried really really hard not to smile when Tangerine waved at him before getting into the car.

  ♡♡♡

  Jungkook learnt that Tangerine’s real name was Jimin and unfortunately, Jooyeon referred to him as daddy.

(Jungkook would call him daddy too and all Jimin had to do was ask.)

It was the second session of Jungkook babysitting Jooyeon after she made Chan cry by calling his hairstyle ugly when he found out his name. What made Chan cried even more was the fact that every kid agreed. In all honesty, Jungkook also agreed. His mother should have went to the barber instead of cutting his hair by herself.

Of course, Teacher Miyoung decided that she had enough of children crying that day and what better solution than having the stem of the problem locked away from the children?

Sighing, Jungkook leaned back against the small wooden chair, scrutinizing Jooyeon. She had her attention on the paper, colouring them carefully and making sure she did not cross over the black lines.

“Hey, Jooyeon,” Jungkook called out.

“Hm?” she responded, eyes never leaving the paper.

“Is that the first-time mommy didn’t pick you up? Has she always been busy?” Jungkook questioned, careful not to jump so quickly to Tangerine because no, Jungkook was totally not thinking of him.

Jooyeon nodded before sitting up straight to pick another colour for Mickey Mouse’s shirt.

“What about—” Stop right there, Jeon. Don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask. “— your daddy?”

“Daddy doesn’t live with mommy anymore,” she murmured.

Oh, fuck.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jungkook apologized sincerely. Although, there was a voice inside his head chanting: YES!! YES HE’S SINGLE.

She grabbed an orange pencil from the container and Jungkook’s lips quirked into a smile, reminded of the bright orange mop of hair that belonged to a certain man that was residing temporarily in his mind.

“Orange! It’s the colour of your daddy’s hair,” Jungkook quipped.

At the mention of her dad, she grinned and for once, looked up from her paper. “Jimin’s hair!”

“Jimin? Is that his name?”

“Jimin, Jimin, Jimin, Jiminie, Jiminie,” she sang, eyes now sparkling and lips smiling so wide.

“Jimin,” Jungkook repeated, more like whispering to himself, testing the new name on his tongue.

   “Quick question, are Jooyeon’s parents young?” Jungkook blurted out when he and Sooyoung were alone at the pantry.

Sooyoung looked up from the refrigerator to Jungkook a confused look – one eyebrow raised, lips pursed and head tilted. Hansol was outside, helping the children with their lunch boxes while they were taking out the chocolate milks for the kids. Hansol would only laugh his ass off if Jungkook asked him instead of Sooyoung. That bastard will know if something was up.

“I think so,” Sooyoung answered. “I mean, her mother looks pretty young. Probably only a few years older than me. Never seen her father.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“How young is her mother?”

Sooyoung took out four packets of chocolate milks at once, placing them carefully on top of the sunflower-clothed table with a huff. “Dunno,” she murmured, finger moving to count the amount of milk inside her head.

Jungkook twisted his lips to the side, unsatisfied with her lack of answers and tempted to ask Sooyoung with more questions but decided that he was against it. “I saw her father yesterday,” he informed, leaning closer to Sooyoung as if he was telling a secret.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Pretty young too.”

“Grab me another packet, will you?” Jungkook did as he was told as Sooyoung continued, “Not surprising. Rumour has it that they had her when they were in high school.”

“Oh. That explains then.”

“Well, enough chit-chat. Let’s get these to the kids.”

   Just as he would have guessed, Jooyeon was the only kid left. Jungkook waved a hand to Seungjae, who was the second-to-last kid that was picked up by his father. He watched as the car drove away before turning towards Jooyeon with a sigh.

“I guess it’s you and me again, huh,” Jungkook muttered.

Jooyeon jutted her lower lip, as if she was feeling guilty. Jungkook scratched the back of his neck as he approached her and when he was near, he reached out a hand for her to hold. “Wanna continue the movie from where we left off?”

He took her huge grin as a yes.

 When Jimin arrived at school, he did not pretend to cough loudly. This time he pulled up a chair quietly and sat beside Jungkook, who had Jooyeon sitting on his left thigh.

“Hello,” Jimin whispered, startling both Jungkook and Jooyeon who were too absorbed in the animation.

“Jiminie!” Jooyeon squealed in happiness.

“Hello baby,” Jimin cooed, leaning down to pinch her cheek lightly.

Jungkook attempted to tamper down the smile that threatened to take over his face by biting down his lower lip and failed miserably as his heart swell and beat erratically against his chest at the heart-warming bond the two shared.

“Well, now that daddy’s here,” Jungkook huffed, missing the way Jimin’s eyes flicker in suspicion and confusion as he hefted Jooyeon with ease to make her stand on the ground. “You should go home now.”

“Sorry for being late again,” Jimin apologized with sincerity dripping from his voice, accepting the hug Jooyeon was giving him with open arms. He lifted her, hooked one arm underneath her legs as he stood up. “My workplace is far from here and her mother’s busy lately.”

“No problem.” Jungkook stood up, dusting his jeans. “It’s my pleasure to be her company. At least I’ve got to watch shows my mom forbid me of watching at home,” he jested with a chuckle, only to regret it afterwards as he realised what a big dork he sounded like.

Jimin beamed, shaking his head in amusement. “I assumed you are Teacher Kook…?”

“Yes, that is me,” Jungkook answered. “The adults call me Jungkook.”

Stop embarrassing yourself, fool.

He swore Jimin’s grin reached his ears because of his silliness, causing a faint pinkness dusting Jungkook’s cheeks.

Jooyeon was looking at Jungkook as he spoke, bright eyes analysing every move he made, little fists curled tightly on Jimin’s shirt. He was not sure if he was reading too much into it, but the little devil seemed to be forming a plan to annihilate Jungkook and dominate the world.

“Well, Jungkook, I am Jimin and my baby here,” – Jimin gestured by resting his head against the top of Jooyeon’s – “Can’t stop talking about the movie you two were watching yesterday. She absolutely loved it and she loves you too.”

Jooyeon and love in a sentence seemed like a fantasy to Jungkook unless it went something like ‘Jooyeon loved to make kids cry’. Jungkook nearly choked at Jimin’s words, baffled at how Jimin came to such ridiculous conclusion. If there was anything Jooyeon did to Jungkook was close to love, it would be she loved making his life miserable.

He masked his bewilderment with a polite smile and shook his head. “Oh no, you must be mistaken—”

Before he could finish his sentence, the girl interrupted with a shy, “Jooyeon loves Teacher Kook!”

Jungkook eyes widened a smidgen at the sudden outburst, wondering where the hell did that came from and he figured that Jimin must be the OFF-switch button for her demonic behaviours.

“See?” Jimin giggled, placing a kiss on top of her head.

“Well…” Jungkook cleared his throat, embarrassed and pleased at the same time. “That’s lovely.”

Jimin beamed again before he said, “We better go now. Thank you, Jungkook. Baby, say thank you to Teacher Kook.”

“Thank you, Teacher Kook.”

Jungkook smiled as he patted her head.

“All right. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

Jungkook did not dare to reply, afraid that his voice might betray him or he might have started screaming in euphoria.

With a slight bow and a smile to die for, Jimin and his baby left the kindergarten with light steps, giggling and talking cutely to each other in their own bubble. When the noise of the engine starting could be heard and he was sure that they have really left, Jungkook squealed before twirling like Barbie in Swan Lake, giddy that he was given the chance to interact with Jimin.

‘I’ll see you around’ he said. He said that to me! Does that mean he wants to see me around sometime?

However, his internal monologue was interrupted when Hansol came from the bathroom, pants rolled up to his knees and the hem of his shirt soaked. Hansol let out the most dramatic gasp of the century. “What the fuck?”

“Hey, language!”

  ♡♡♡

  Although cycling to school had its advantage, Jungkook refused to be seen riding his dumb bicycle to school.

Jungkook was a living proof that being the youngest child in the family suck, seeing that most of the stuff he had was hand-me-downs from his older brother. Unfortunately for Jungkook, the bicycle he now owned used to be his mother’s and his mother was not exactly the rock and roll type. In fact, she was a floral lady, a lover of pastel colours.

Savitar – which was the name of his bicycle – was originally pink with sunflower patterns all over it. His friends would have killed him if he was seen riding that and with the help of his allowance money, he managed to buy black spray paints and transformed Savitar to the badass bicycle it was now.

The only thing he did not dare change was the huge basket attached to Savitar. His mother was upset when she knew the changes he made to her old bicycle, and the last thing he wanted was for his mother to yell at him again. So, he decided to let it be. The basket proven to be of help to Jungkook anyways.

Which is why, he thought it was just his rotten luck, that he had to stumble upon Jimin while riding Savitar.

Sure, he had dreamt of seeing Jimin outside of school but not when he had Savitar’s basket filled with a plastic bag full of snacks.

It was on Sunday afternoon when it happened. He was cycling back home from the grocery store, after he had spent nearly five hours at Taehyung’s house. He would have biked past through Jimin, if only Jimin had a normal hair colour on him. It was pretty hard to miss his orange hair, to be honest.

Jungkook halted before he slowly turned back to the car that was parked near the sidewalk. Jimin had his head tilted when he looked at Jungkook, he was sat on the hood of his car, his knees close to his chest and when he recognized Jungkook, he gave him a grin. “Hey.”

He tried not to blush. Jungkook had a problem controlling his face and heart when it comes to attractive men. “Hello,” he mumbled, bowing slightly to hide his reddening face. “What are you doing here?”

Jimin heaved a sigh, scratching the back of his neck as he motioned towards the car. “It was the battery.”

“Oh.”

Jungkook contemplated whether he should continue the conversation or bid Jimin farewell. If he was selfish, he would have gone with the latter. However, if he chose the former, he would start to spout some mumbo jumbo that will make him sound like a loser and he might have make it obvious that he had the hots for the orange-haired man.

In the end, he got off of Savitar and manoeuvre it with the handles to approach Jimin. “I don’t know how car works exactly. How long until it’s fully charged?”

“Until what?”

“How long until the battery’s fully charged?”

Jimin let out a guffaw, eyes curving into crescents and his entire body shook. Jungkook blinked, wondering if he had said something wrong to make Jimin laugh. Maybe a bird pooped on Jungkook and he did not realise it. Worried, he patted his head to find that it was clean. Unwashed for two days, but still clean of bird poop.

Eventually, the laughter turned into small chortles as Jimin wiped the tears that were forming in the corner of his eyes with his fingers. “Oh, Teacher Kook, the battery won’t charge itself.”

“W-What?” A humiliated blush climbed up his neck, his face was getting warmer by the seconds. Trying to save his face, he stuttered, “I k-knew that!”

“Sure,” Jimin giggled again, his face showing the opposite of belief. “I’m waiting for the tow truck to pick me up.”

“Oh…” Jungkook murmured, looking away from Jimin.

“Do you live around here?” Jimin asked, getting off of the hood as he dusted his pants.

“Yeah,” he answered. “It’s a fifteen-minute walk. Ten, with a bicycle.”

“That’s cool.”

Jungkook looked back at the car, it finally dawned on him that something – or rather, somebody – was missing in this picture. “Where’s Jooyeon? She’s not with you today?”

“She’s with her mother.”

“Oh, I see.”

The ensuing silence that came after was palpable. Jungkook glanced to his left to find the old lady from the grocery store jogging on the other side of the road, one bottled water in hand.

“Teacher Kook?” He heard Jimin called him out, which was a surprise. He thought both of them would have drowned in the silence.

“Yes?”

“How old are you?” Jimin inquired, folding his arms together as he turned to the direction Jungkook was staring at. The old lady was still at it, she was slow but she was moving consistently.

Jungkook fought the urge to raise his eyebrow at the man. He did not want to come off as rude. “I’m nineteen.”

“Really?” Jimin nearly gasped, one hand on his chest. Dramatic. “You’re only two years younger than me?”

Jungkook did a quick math in his head. Nineteen plus two… which meant Jimin was only twenty-one years old. Which also meant that Jimin had Jooyeon when he was sixteen. Oh god.

“I suppose,” Jungkook shrugged, appearing nonchalant although he was freaking out on the inside.

Jimin smiled again, the smile that made his eyes disappeared and cheeks irresistible to pinch. There was a resemblance to Jooyeon the longer Jungkook observed, and to say that Jungkook did not feel a pang in his chest would be a lie.

‘It’s just a dumb crush,’ he reminded himself.

“Jooyeon’s absolutely in love with you. It’s quite a surprise, really. She’s not fond with just anyone.”

Jungkook rolled his lips in before he smacked them, unsure what to do with that fact. It was the perfect time for Jungkook to spill the truth about what a little bitch Jimin’s daughter was, but just as Jungkook opened his lips to speak, a yellow tow truck came into his line of sight.

The loud noise coming from the vehicle made Jimin turned towards it before he heaved a sigh of relief. “About damn time.” He heard Jimin muttered under his breath.

“Great, your ride’s here,” Jungkook mumbled. When Jimin faced him, he concealed his disappointment with a grin. “I gotta go now. My mom’s gonna be worried sick if I’m not home before dinner.”

“Thank you for accompanying me, Jungkook. I’ll see you at school?” Jimin beamed.

He was not sure if it was his mind that was playing tricks with him, or it was his wishful thinking that Jimin sounded hopeful when he spoke.

Jungkook had to get on his bicycle when he replied, afraid that he would be caught grinning at the thought. “Yeah, see ya!”

  ♡♡♡

  “Teacher Kook? Teacher Kook?”

Jungkook was not aware of the little girl calling him out, wanting to grab his attention. He let out a sigh, still pondering over the words Jimin said to him a day ago. Did that mean Jimin wanted to see him? Or was it Jungkook who wanted Jimin to want to see him?

“Jungkook!”

Startled by the shout coming from across of him, he turned towards the direction of the voice to find Jooyeon pouting angrily at him. Her arms stretched towards him, one hand holding a yellow colour pencil tightly.

“Hey, what did you just call me?” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, displeased that the child was being disrespectful towards him. “I am older than you. Where are your manners, Park Jooyeon?”

Jooyeon grinned, her rosy cheeks were as squishy as her dad’s.

“Jiminie calls you Jungkook so I can call you Jungkook too!”

Jungkook nearly choked on air. “He — what?”

Jooyeon turned away, looking as sly as she always was.

Not once Jungkook dreamt in his life that he was begging at some devil trapped in a child’s body for some answers. He glared at Jooyeon, hoping that it would intimidate her but he knew that nothing could scare Jooyeon.

“Do you want to know, Teacher Kook?”

“Yes—” You fucking pain in the arse, “Jooyeon.”

Jooyeon dropped her colour pencil to the table, hands on both cheeks. Jungkook was certain that she was swinging her legs under the table by now.

“Jiminie,” she began, voice lilting and sweet. One thing Jungkook noticed about Jooyeon was how she always spoke of Jimin with pure admiration and love. Her eyes seemed to sparkle and frankly, she looked like an angel when she did so. She let out a giggle, eyes closing and it reminded Jungkook of how Jimin’s eyes turned to crescents when he laughed. “Jiminie likes Jungkook.”

He tried to suffocate a flush that was trying to creep on his cheekbones and snorted. “Liar. Liar liar pants on fire.”

She let out a giggle again. “I’m wearing skirt! And I’m not lying. Jooyeonie promise.”

He squinted his eyes towards her in disbelief while she stared back at him with her huge eyes.

With one hand still on her cheek, now her head tilting slightly to the left, she held out her hand to Jungkook. All of his fingers were closed except for the smallest finger. “Pinky promise!” she said, to assure Jungkook that she was telling the truth.

Reluctantly, Jungkook wrapped his pinky around hers.

She gave him a grin before letting her pinky go. A part of him hoped that Jooyeon was lying, it was never good to get his hopes up in the first place. However, the bigger part of him wished that it was true.

“What did he say? What did he say about me?”

“Will Jooyeonie get banana milk if Jooyeonie tell?”

Jungkook stared at her incredulously. How dare this child barter with him, after all the torment he had to go through because of her? Jungkook would have gone to the kitchen to get Jooyeon the flavoured milk she wanted if only it was available there. She knew it was only Jungkook who brought the banana milk to school as his lunch. She knew damned well Jungkook was the only one who had a banana milk on him.

“Fucking evil genius.” Jungkook gritted his teeth, hoping that the words he uttered did not make sense to her. Concealing his annoyance, he feigned a smile, “You do know that we only have chocolate milk, don’t you?”

She nodded. “But Jungkook does. I see you drink banana milk every day in the kitchen!”

He squinted his eyes towards her, hands grabbing the sides of the wooden chair he was sitting on, hoping they will stay there and not do anything irrational like flinging the colour pencil from her hand and scare her to death. She blinked, eyes sparkling with mischievous and Jungkook let out an irritated sigh, giving in. “Fine.”

She giggled in triumph. “Yes!”

“Now, tell me. We had a deal.”

She hummed, small finger tapping her chin as she pretended she was in a deep thought. “Well~” she sing-songed, lips pouty like Jimin’s. “Jiminie would like to take you on a date!”

“He did?”

“Jiminie said Jungkook’s cute!”

He tried not to grin although he was sure that the red spots flaring on his cheeks was betraying him. “R-really?”

“Uhuh!” she answered, nodding her head vigorously. “Does Jungkookie likes Jiminie too?”

Jungkook jutted out his lower lip, shrugging. “Jiminie’s cute too, I guess.”

Maybe it was because she was a child that he felt the need to speak Jimin’s name cutely like she did. It bugged him a little that it was easy for Jooyeon to drop honorifics, even towards the man who gave her life, but he was too high on the new information he received to care. It was not everyday a cute guy likes him back.

“Do you wanna go out with Jiminie?”

Jungkook shrugged again. “I dunno… seems inappropriate, don’t you think?”

She tilted her head innocently, brown eyes staring at Jungkook with wonder dancing in them. “What’s ina… inappro…”

“You’ll learn later when you grow up. Now come on, let’s finish colouring Rapunzel. I’ll help you this time.”

   Jungkook was not sure what Jooyeon’s intention was, but his theory of her being a malevolent witch in her past life was proven to be true when she dragged Jungkook for a ‘small’ date with Jimin.

Jimin had arrived at school earlier than usual, although Jooyeon was still the last one to be picked up and the girl had the audacity to ask Jimin for ice-cream, which he gladly obliged and on top of being a whiny brat, she begged Jimin to bring Jungkook with them. Jungkook wanted to dig a hole in the middle of the school, crawl in it and never going up forever.

To his surprise, Jimin was not as flustered as he was and if Jungkook was honest, he would say Jimin seemed to love the idea – it was written on his face, clear as day.

“What do you say?” Jimin asked, carrying his kid effortlessly with one arm while the other was holding onto her purple backpack. “Don’t wanna disappoint Jooyeonie here, don’t you?”

Despite thinking of how weird it was, Jungkook was not able to say no. Especially not when there were two pairs of puppy eyes staring at him.

With a sigh, he gave in. “Fine…”

Thankfully, Sooyoung was staying back to clean the classrooms and Jungkook had to inform her that he had to go. Sooyoung gave him a suspicious look but chose not to question him and let him go anyway. He had called his mom, telling her not to pick him up as he would go home a little later.

By the time Jungkook stepped a foot outside of the school, Jimin and Jooyeon were already in the car. The tangerine-haired man had his eyes glued to the door the whole time and it was only when Jungkook exited the school that his eyes lit up and a soft smile painted his feature.

Jungkook tried not to blush at the thought, and when he entered the car through the back door, he murmured an apology. “Sorry for the intrusion…”

“Alrighty, are we all set?”

“I am! I am!!” Jooyeon squealed from the seat next to the driver’s.

“And you, Jungkook?” Jimin asked, glancing at the rear-view mirror to look at Jungkook.

Jungkook pressed his lips into a thin smile before nodding.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Then, he shifted to the first gear.

   Initially, Jungkook thought they would go to the nearest park and get some cheap ice-creams from the ice-cream truck but unfortunately, they went to the nearest shopping complex and bought expensive ice-creams in one of the renowned ice-cream parlours. Of course, Jungkook was not able to afford it and he even refused to get one but Jimin insisted.

“Think of it as a ‘thank you’ for taking care of Jooyeon,” Jimin convinced. He was one step away from giving Jungkook the puppy eyes again.

Jungkook gave in and ordered the cheapest ice-cream they sold, no extra toppings and only one scoop of a strawberry cheesecake. Jooyeon had two scoops – one vanilla and one ice-cream whereas Jimin had chosen cookies and cream.

Jimin carried both his and Jooyeon’s ice-cream to the table while Jooyeon waddled behind him. Placing the cups on the table, he hefted Jooyeon with ease onto the plastic chair before pulling out another chair for Jungkook. Jungkook stared in confusion and embarrassment, flattered that Jimin was being such a gentleman. Jimin gave him a heart-stopping smile before sitting down on his seat.

Awkwardly, Jungkook sat next to Jimin, not bothering to look up and only stared at his ice-cream.

Jooyeon was happily eating her own ice-cream, oblivious at the uncomfortable situation she was putting Jungkook in. He heard Jimin complained about Jooyeon’s eating habits before he feed himself a spoonful of strawberry cheesecake.

“So, Jungkook…”

It startled him into lifting his head, to look at Jimin who had the small pink spoon between his lips. Jimin took it out, softly stabbing his ice-cream with it before continuing, “I’m guessing you’re waiting for your results?”

“I am, actually,” he answered, playing with the ice-cream using his spoon.

“Are you thinking of going to Uni or…?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure yet. I don’t feel like going, but it feels like the only right thing to do.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Jooyeon, who was calling Jimin’s name repeatedly. Jimin turned towards Jooyeon, annoyance never present in his face and his feature was so, so soft when he patted her hair.

“Jiminie! Jiminie! Say aah!” Jooyeon called out, one hand holding on a spoon full of mixed ice-cream.

Jimin’s face broke into a huge grin, and Jungkook thought there was nothing purer than Jimin bringing his face closer to Jooyeon, mouth open wide to be fed by his little girl. Jooyeon was careful, her eyes trained on the spoon she was holding as she fed Jimin. Jimin pat her head again, thanking her for the delicious ice-cream before turning back to Jungkook.

Jungkook looked away, trying to occupy himself by eating his ice-cream and hoped that Jimin did not catch him staring.

“You know what’s the right thing to do?”

Jimin’s question caused Jungkook to turn to him, wondering what was to come next. Jungkook did not answer, waiting for Jimin to proceed.

When he did, Jimin had an unreadable expression on his face. Jungkook could not decide if it was worry or agony, but he ended it with a smile that tug on Jungkook’s heartstrings. “Believing in yourself. What’s the use of forcing yourself going somewhere you don’t wanna go?”

Jungkook swallowed nervously, unable to tear his eyes away from Jimin’s.

“What about you?” he asked, voice lowered that he thought he was only thinking it. He continued, louder this time, “Did you go?”

“I didn’t,” Jimin replied. “Her mother needed me. So, I didn’t go.”

“Oh…”

“Well! My ice-cream’s melting. Let’s finish up, shall we?”

Jungkook knew it was just a dumb crush, but he could not help feeling the flower of jealousy blooming in his chest at the mention of Jooyeon’s mother and the way Jimin spoke softly of her. He knew he should have not gone with them, getting to know Jimin would only come with more damage. Jungkook knew, he damn well knew, but he went for it anyway.

  After struggling to keep Jooyeon away from the toy store, Jimin drove Jungkook home.

The journey to Jungkook’s house was filled with Jooyeon happily singing along to Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo that was playing on Jimin’s phone. Jimin would sing along to it too, just to entertain Jooyeon and Jungkook caught himself humming to the tune at the red light.

Unfortunately for Jungkook, Jimin saw his actions through the rear-view mirror and burst into a fit of laughter. Jungkook’s face was scarlet with mingled embarrassment and fury. “It’s catchy, okay!”

“It’s a children’s song, of course it’s supposed to be catchy. Wouldn’t want Jooyeonie to grow up listening to Cash Me Outside Remix, wouldn’t we?”

Jungkook blew raspberries as he folded his arms petulantly.

“Oh, come on now,” Jimin giggled, effortlessly shifting into the second gear, crescent eyes glancing at the rear-view mirror now and then. “I already have a baby here, don’t be a baby too.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened a smidgen, jaw dropping to the ground and was at loss for words at the remark. “How dare you!”

The older man winked. “I don’t mind if it’s you, though.”

“Oh my god,” Jungkook murmured under his breath, trying to hard to suffocate the flush that was trying to creep on his cheekbones. He looked away from Jimin, willing himself to stare at the cars outside the window than give Jimin the satisfaction of seeing him blush.

“Left or right, Jungkookie?”

“Right.”

“Say, don’t your mother worries that you’re going out with a stranger?” Jimin questioned, eyes focused on the road as he made a signal to turn right.

Jungkook shrugged. “Technically, we’re not going out. Besides, you’re not a stranger. You’re Jooyeonie’s father.”

He could see the amusement in Jimin’s eyes through the reflection of the mirror when he raised his eyebrows.

“Uh… what about your girlfriend?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Searching for one,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Don’t have one either,” he answered, louder than before.

“I see. Do I turn left or—?”

“Just go straight.”

“Can’t do that. I’m gay,” Jimin chuckled.

Jungkook nearly choked on his breath at the sudden revelation. There were some questions forming inside Jungkook’s head, waiting to be let out and desperate to be answered but Jungkook managed to clamp his mouth shut. He did not want to seem like he was prying or mildly interested in Jimin’s sudden revelation.

“T… That’s cool,” Jungkook managed, only to yell at himself in his head for being totally uncool.

The ensuing silence lasted for a minute or two until the familiar red roof appeared in Jungkook’s line of vision. He was never this glad to have seen his house before. All he wanted to do was to run outside and stand in the middle of the road, waiting for a dumpster truck to run him over. He could not seem to stop embarrassing himself around Jimin and it was killing him slowly.

“There it is.”

“Here?”

“Yep.”

The car slowed down and Jungkook waited for it to come to a stop to make a grand exit. He considered somersaulting to the window, breaking the glasses into pieces but the last thing he wanted was to owe Jimin money to fix his car windows.

“Thank you for the treat. That was very nice of you,” Jungkook said hurriedly before bowing slightly, a part of him feeling guilty for sounding impolite but he was more worried of exposing more of his dorky side to Jimin.

Jimin had the window down by then, one arm resting on the windowsill, which made him ten times more handsome and Jungkook wanted to sob right there and then. Before Jungkook could dash to his house, Jimin spoke up.

“Jungkookie?”

“Yeah?”

“Here.” Jimin looked down momentarily, one hand rustling through what Jungkook assumed was the pocket of his jeans before taking out a piece of folded napkin to hand in to Jungkook. Bewildered, Jungkook inched closer to take it. “You had a lil something on your lip there.”

“O… kay.”

“Bye, Jungkookie. Jooyeon, say bye to Teacher Kook.”

Without looking up from the phone in her tiny hands, Jooyeon let out an enthusiastic, “Bye!!”

Jimin chuckled before giving Jungkook a lopsided smile. “See ya.”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook watched as Jimin began to drive, and it was only when Jimin’s car was just a dot in his vision that he started to let out a scream, elated that he lived this long to experience such a wonderful thing. Sure, it was not like all the soap operas his mother watched on TV, but it felt so much better and it was enough for him. He let out a dreamy sigh, skipping to his house with joy with the folded napkin held tightly onto his chest.

It was only when he reached the front door when he unfolded the napkin on his hand to find a number scrawled on it.

“What the—” he muttered, narrowing his eyes as if the action would help in figuring out what the digits meant.

Perhaps it was true what they say about having crushes, that crushes only make you stupid.

And Jungkook finally got it when his hand touched the doorknob. It was Jimin’s number.

  ♡♡♡

 “It’s so… weird,” Jungkook frowned, eyes staring straight at the ceiling.

He had the tendency to sit around, doing absolutely nothing after a hot shower and tonight he decided to give Yugyeom a call. Still in his bathrobe, he lain on his bed with one arm up for no reason while his other hand held his phone to his ear. He examined his arm, widening the gap of his fingers and wondered if Jimin’s hand fit around his.

(Because, honestly, you can call Jungkook a creep for staring at Jiminie’s hands for too long. They were smaller than this, Jungkook was sure, and his fingers were so stubby it was too adorable.)

“What is? You crushing on men you won’t be able to get? Yeah, we’ve been there, buddy,” Yugyeom replied. Jungkook could already see the boy rolling his eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s weird? I mean, I’m his kid’s teacher. Isn’t it against the law to date your student’s father?”

“Dude, you’re just an assistant teacher. Technically, you’re not teaching his kid shit. Besides, you’re more of a babysitter than a teacher.”

Jungkook groaned, sitting up from his bed so abruptly that it creaked. He ruffled his wet hair in annoyance, not bothering to grab the hairdryer only a few metres away from him. “Yeah, but like… it’s inappropriate, isn’t it?”

“The kid confirms that he likes you too. What’s the problem with that?”

“The problem is that he has a kid.” Jungkook winced internally. “And just like you said, I’m babysitting his kid. That’s just fucking weird.”

“Look, Jeon Jungkook, I can see my date waving his hand to me right now and he’s approaching me. Do you know why I’m on a date now? Because I’m not a moron like you. I saw a chance and I took it. I’m gonna go now, bye bye.”

The moment the line was cut off abruptly, Jungkook tore the phone away from his ear to stare at the home screen incredulously, a little bit startled that Yugyeom dared to ditch his best friend alone when in trouble.

He let out a sigh, the words Yugyeom said a few seconds ago lingering inside his mind.

He liked Jimin, he really did. Jimin was sweet, he was even sweeter to Jooyeon and he probably had no idea that his kid was such a devil. Scrunching his nose in distaste, he laid back to the mattress, hoping his dumb crush would just disappear into thin air.

He saved Jimin’s number in his phone and spent nearly half an hour debating with himself whether it was even okay for him to do so. Despite the fact that his position as an assistant teacher would only last in less than two months, he still thought that it was wrong for him to harbour a crush towards Jimin. His job was only temporary and if he remembered it correctly, it never really specified that it was against his contract to date Jimin.

“Oh my god,” he muttered before shaking his head in an attempt to get the image of him holding Jimin’s hand from his head. “How the fuck did I even get myself into this mess…”

   His mother assured him that he would be fine if he rested for the whole day but it was only on the third day that he was starting to feel better. Due to his non-stop sneezing and sudden coughing fits, Jungkook took three days off from work which meant that he missed seeing Jimin even if it usually lasted for a minute. Two, if he was lucky. Missing work also meant that he got to spend all day in bed, neglecting his responsibilities and finally catching up on the webtoons he was supposed to read.

When he got back to work, Sooyoung was kind enough to let Jungkook do lighter tasks. Surprisingly, Hansol had half a heart to wash the children’s butts for the whole day instead of running away from it. Of course, Jooyeon just had to make a girl cry today and was punished to be put away in The Room.

As if she knew it was Jungkook who was assigned to her, she placed what seemed like a ‘get well soon’ card on top of the table across of hers. When Jungkook went inside the room, a handkerchief in hand, he found her sitting in a polite manner. Both hands on her knees and legs staying still.

Jungkook nearly scoffed at the rare sight he was witnessing before pulling the green chair to sit in front of her. His eyes were immediately drawn to the paper on top of his table as it was terribly hard to miss.

“What’s this?” he asked, motioning towards the card.

“Get Well Soon card. It’s for Jungkookie. Do you like it?”

The front page was full of various colours made by crayons, there was a purple-coloured sun on the corner of the top page. Scrawled in the middle of the page was Jooyeon’s handwriting that read “To : Kookie Teacher” in yellow and there was, what Jungkook assumed, him.

He remained silent the whole time he was staring at the card, not really sure how to feel. Grateful? Absolutely. Touched? Definitely. If this was coming from Yeri or Somi, Jungkook would have scooped them in his arms and smother them with kisses. But this was coming from Park Jooyeon, whom every staff tried to avoid, who prove that the devil reincarnates do exist.

He opened the card gently, not expecting a huge perfectly drawn red heart at the centre of the page. Much different than the scrawled drawings at the cover. There was a drawing of a stick man with orange hair, and it was only when Jungkook noticed it when it dawned to him that it was Jimin.

‘Get well soon, Teacher Kookie!! Drink lots of water & eat veggies!’ was written neatly, and upon knowing that it was not Jooyeon’s handwriting, a small smile cracked on his lips.

���Do you like it? Do you like it?”

Jungkook chuckled, slightly shaking his head in an attempt to hide his smile before looking up and pat her head gently. “I do.”

“Do you wanna know a secret?”

“Hm?”

Jooyeon leaned in closer, both hands cupping the sides of her mouth in an attempt to avoid Pooh the Bear on the shelf from reading her lips. “That was Jiminie. It was Jiminie who write that,” she whispered.

“Really?” he raised a brow, playing along. He could not help but to grin when Jooyeon nodded vigorously.

“Really! He also said… you are pretty.”

Jungkook felt himself heat up and cleared his throat. “Excuse me?”

“And! And! And! And you should call him!”

“He said that?”

“Uhuh! He did!”

“And how did you know this…?”

“Jiminie told me!”

Jungkook squinted his eyes towards Jooyeon, sceptical at the confidence the girl was radiating. As much as he wanted to trust her, he hesitated in doing so. Why would the little witch say all of these things, was it to give Jungkook temporary happiness only for it to die later?

“I don’t trust you,” Jungkook muttered.

She shrugged, as if to say ‘it’s your loss’.

“Also…” she puffed her rosy cheeks, one finger tapping on her chin to pretend as if she was thinking. “You promised banana milk!”

“Ah, crap…”

Of course, Jungkook ended up giving his banana milk to Jooyeon behind the teachers’ backs. Hansol caught him sneakily placing the banana milk underneath his shirt but Jungkook was lucky that Hansol was laidback and the guy did not give a single fuck to why Jungkook was on full alert mode the moment he entered the kitchen.

Jooyeon drank the milk happily, although it was not recess yet. He hated to admit that he was probably growing fond for the girl, and he hated himself more for thinking that he was doing this because he wanted to get to know Jimin. He frowned when the realisation hit him, only for his lips to quickly curve into a smile when Jooyeon beamed brightly at him.

When school was over, Jooyeon was picked up early by her grandmother, much to Jungkook’s chagrin. Jooyeon going home early meant that he could go home early too. Just as he was about to grab his phone to give his mother a call, Sooyoung approached him to let him know there was a small impromptu meeting among the teachers.

It baffled Jungkook that the assistants were also called, because usually it would only be the teaching staff.

There were only seven teachers in total, including the assistants. The school was not exactly what Jungkook would call humongous and the students were only a few, so it made sense that they held the meeting in one of the classrooms. All of them were sat on the tiny, colourful, wooden chairs the students used and Jungkook took the seat next to Hansol.

The meeting was only brief, with the teachers explaining their plans to let the kids go out during physical activities and the next parent-teacher meeting event. Jungkook was only half-listening, back already slumping and it was only when he heard his name mentioned that he jolted in his seat.

“… Jungkook-ssi?”

“Uh… sorry?” He could feel his ears turning red at his own stupidity. Out of all times to not pay attention, he just had to choose one where they all have their first meeting.

The oldest teacher in the school, Ms. Yoora, only smiled at Jungkook’s action. “You’re assigned to look after Park Jooyeon, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Anything you want to say regarding the child? We could file it and let her parents know.”

“No, actually. She’s been tolerable so far.”

Ms. Yoora smiled again before chuckling. Jungkook noticed that everyone’s attention was on him now and he suddenly had this strong urge to clear his throat and look away.

“It’s fine, Jungkook-ssi. It wouldn’t be Park Jooyeon if there aren’t any complaints.”

His finger twitched to tap against the wooden table, eyebrow slightly raised in confusion at the words Ms. Yoora uttered. It was almost as if she wanted Jungkook to have dirt against a child. “Well…” he took a deep breath before shaking his head. “No. She’s improved. Besides, she always finishes her work now.”

“That’s good to know.”

Jungkook caught the disbelief look that flashed across Mr. Jinki’s face. For a moment there, he felt uncomfortable.

“Less than two months until you’re resigning, right Jungkook-ssi?”

As if it was not humiliating enough that his mother was the one who got him this job, his mother also had the audacity to emphasize that Jungkook was only staying until the application for the university was open. He pressed his lips in a straight line in an attempt to smile but failing to do so.

“Yes,” he answered, hoping his ears were not turning red despite them feeling warm.

Jungkook could finally breathe easy when Ms. Yoora took her attention off of him to say something about the children recess hour. He felt a small nudge on his shoulder and when he looked up, Hansol was giving him a lopsided grin.

And despite being excited that he was going to leave soon, there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

  ♡♡♡

  “Jiminie’s wondering why you’re not giving him a call.”

It never ceased to amuse Jungkook how Jooyeon could just call Jimin ‘Jiminie’ as if it was the most normal thing to do for a kid. Jungkook learnt to brush it off because Jimin did not seem to mind. Besides, it also gave him a chance to use the cute nickname whenever they got around to talking about topics relating to Jiminie.

Due to her recent behaviour, Jooyeon was no longer being isolated in a room with Jungkook although the girl seemed like that she preferred to have it that way. Truth be told, Jungkook kind of enjoying the time they spent together. With all the kids around, it was quite difficult to talk about the man who may be the love of his life.

Jungkook can dream.

Jungkook shrugged. “I don’t know…”

“Why don’t you know? How can you not know? You’re an adult.”

“I’m nineteen, Jooyeon,” he said exasperatedly.

Jooyeon pouted before getting off from the chair to crawl onto Jungkook’s lap. Jungkook sighed in annoyance but chose to not do anything about it when she settled nicely on his lap. She tilted her head slightly to look up at him. “Do you not like Jiminie?”

He narrowed his eyes sceptically, not exactly sure how to answer.

“What do you not like? Jiminie is handsome.”

“Did he ask you to say that?”

She giggled, covering her mouth with her tiny hands. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“If you like Jiminie, does that mean you’re his boyfriend?”

Jungkook facepalmed, embarrassed that the kid was asking him questions regarding that. He had enough of his relatives asking him to bring his partner to family events and now he had to listen a kid asking him to date her dad.

“No, Jooyeon. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Why?”

“Because it doesn’t work like that.”

“Why?”

Jungkook heaved a sigh before lifting her up to place her on top of the table to face him. He leaned in closer, doe eyes staring straight into hers. “To be boyfriends, we have to go on a date. Not only dates, but we have to love each other too. That’s simply impossible.”

“I see!”

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll get you a date.”

“Wait what?”

  True to her words, Jungkook did get a date.

It was two days after she made a promise when Jimin came by to the kindergarten to greet Jungkook. Jungkook was not able to look at Jimin in the eyes when he came through the entrance, looking more gorgeous from Jungkook last saw him. Jooyeon ran straight up to him and in turn, Jimin lifted her effortlessly and kissed her cheek.

Jungkook only smiled, ready to turn his back and ran to the kitchen to lock himself up. It was the first day they met since Jimin slyly gave Jungkook his digits. The only thing Jungkook wanted was to vanish into thin air at the moment, anxious to have the inevitable ‘why didn’t you call?’ conversation.

Before he could dash to the kitchen, Jimin called him out, voice light and sweet.

“Teacher Kook…?”

“Fuck,” Jungkook murmured underneath his breath before giving Jimin a smile that he hoped did not show how awkward he was feeling inside. “Yes?”

Jimin gave Jungkook a lopsided smile, making him even more charming than usual. With Jooyeon still in his hold, he said, “Did you get my number?”

“Ah, yes…”

“Was wondering when you’d call.” Jimin’s grin turned wider, almost blinding Jungkook with his beauty. “Or did I get the wrong signal…?”

Jimin’s gaze on him made his stomach turn, baffled and amazed at how Jimin was so confident. Jungkook turned to Jooyeon instead, whose small hands was clutching onto Jimin’s white shirt as she looked up to Jungkook. She looked innocent, almost too pure even, and yet Jungkook could not help but to scream internally at the sight of her. He knew she was the one who did this. He just was not sure if he should be thankful or pay someone to run him over with a truck.

“Um…”

“Little birdie told me I was not wrong though,” Jimin giggled.

“W-what?”

“Little birdie suggested that we should go on a date,” Jimin continued, hefting Jooyeon to hold her closer and more securely.

Jungkook glared at Jooyeon, who was by then grinning as if she was not the one to blame.

Jimin chewed on his lower lip before saying, “So… I’m taking a chance here and I’d like to ask you out on a date. What do you say? Please don’t be obliged to say yes, I don’t want to force you into doing anything you don’t wanna do.”

He felt that familiar heat crept up his spine and engulf his face from the ears. All he could do was nod and force himself to breathe through his terror. Someone asking him out on a date? That was not something that come rather easily. Besides, it was Park Jimin. Jungkook could not say no. Especially not when Jimin was being all charming and Jooyeon giggling softly at his reaction.

“Oh, thank god…” Jimin murmured. “For a moment I thought you’d say no.”

Jungkook scrunched his nose, letting a small laugh escape his lips.

“Great. I’ll pick you up later, yeah?”

Jungkook did not say anything, his blood was rushing to his brain in an attempt to comprehend the words that he thought he will never hear for the rest of his life. It was only when Jimin was only a step away from the exit that Jungkook blurted out, “Later?”

“Yeah,” Jimin turned to wink before he left.

Jungkook was left alone, jaw dropping to the floor.

“Oh my god…” he muttered. He repeated, even louder this time, “Oh my god.”

Fuck. He was really going to go on a date with Jimin.

And it was only when Jimin left that he remembered he did not ask for the time. Fuck.

  ♡♡♡

  Honestly, Jungkook was never really a big fan for fashion. Most of the times, he would just get something comfortable for him to wear. Comfortable and clean. Besides the suit for formal occasion, none of the stuff he had in the closet were very attractive. Most of them are graphic t-shirts, and these shirts were not exactly something he would want to wear on a first date.

He called Yugyeom for help, but the bloke only burst out a boisterous laughter for five minutes straight rather than giving him any help. Not being able to stand the teasing, he hung up and decided to grab a plain white shirt and his favourite lucky jeans.

“Fuck,” he muttered, a scowl visible on his lips when he looked at his reflection on the mirror. The shirt was too big on him, and while any other day he would just get out of the house without giving a second thought about how he looked, a small part of him wanted to impress Jimin.

He sighed before tucking the shirt in, noting that this look would show off his bum. “Ah, I don’t know anymore!”

With one last glance on the mirror, he took his phone and house key from the table.

  Despite promising himself not to text Jimin, he ended up doing so. However, he deemed his reason as strong enough so it certainly did not count as breaking the promise. Before he could even panic over one typo, he heard a familiar ding, saving him from drowning in a puddle of embarrassment.

One thing he knew for sure was first dates were supposed to be magical. Jungkook had been on three dates so far, and looking back, they were not really pleasant now that he thought of it. He was young, blinded by love and it surely was… not cool.

But this date with Jimin made his heart pound vehemently against his chest, threatening to crack his ribs and hands sweat profusely. He sat on the couch in the living room, anxiously switching the channels on the TV. Fortunately for him, his mother was out to buy grocery so he did not have to hear his mother prattling about how unusual it was of Jungkook to leave his room.

He settled on a cartoon channel, finally putting down the remote after pressing on the next button for so long. In between the episode of Spongebob going to karate island, he kept on locking and unlocking his phone to check the time.

It was only on 3.14PM when he heard the sound of a car approaching. Grabbing the remote quickly, he turned off the TV and leaped over the couch to peek out of the window.

His breath hitched when he caught sight of Jimin, heart beating wildly and mind racing because he could not believe that he was really going on a date.

And he was going on a date with a gorgeous demigod, looking so beautiful from head to toe. As Jimin made his way towards the front door, Jungkook mind decided it was the perfect time to alert him of how truly unpresentable his house was. Eyes widening in panic, he rushed towards the front door, nearly bumping onto Jimin who had his hand up in an attempt to knock.

“Hey,” Jimin grinned, nearly killing Jungkook with the heart-stopping smile. Jungkook swore he saw one of the dead flowers in his mother so-called garden grew.

“Hi.”

“Are you okay?” Jimin asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” God, he was fucking panting.

“You ready to go?”

“Yep.”

Jimin giggled at the enthusiasm dripping from his voice, eyes forming half-moons when the adorable sound coming out of his mouth. Jungkook gulped, worried that he was coming off as weird already. The last thing he wanted was for Jimin to think he was a weirdo and regret going out with him.

Without Jooyeon around, it was certainly different. While the girl would interrupt whenever a conversation was happening, it was now quiet and awkward even. Jungkook tried to ignore the obvious glances Jimin took at him, but it was proven to be difficult when all Jungkook wanted to do was stare at Jimin (not creepily, of course) as he drove.

His mind was consumed with the thoughts of him screwing up that he did not realize they have arrived at the destination until the sound of the handbrake being pulled was heard. Jungkook turned to Jimin, confusion written all over his face when he’d seen the familiar place outside of the window.

“Amusement park?” he heard himself mutter and good lord, did he regret it. Jimin’s face fell as soon as the words left his mouth, causing him to panic.

“You don’t like it? God, I’m so sorry—”

“No, no, no! I like it, it’s just that — I didn’t take you for an amusement park type of person.”

“Yeah? What do you take me for then?” Jimin grinned, not a single malicious intent underneath his succulent voice.

Jungkook found himself grinning too as he shrugged. “I don’t know… expensive restaurant type of person, I guess.”

Jimin let out a small laugh, mellifluous and contagious, as he threw his head back, covering his mouth in the process. “Lucky for you, I can be both.”

“Pfft.”

“You don’t trust me?” Jimin pouted, feigning hurt as he placed a hand on his chest.

Jungkook could only roll his eyes, a reaction that seemed to be appropriate at the moment as an attempt to hide the fact how fast his heart was beating.

“Maybe on our next date, we’ll go there. C’mon now, let’s ride the merry go round.”

He thanked the lord that Jimin went out of the car, or else he would have seen how red Jungkook was the moment he mentioned the possibility of next date.

   While Jungkook’s friends would go out to hang out at the amusement park on Sundays, Jungkook would be staying in as he got a tutor to teach him at home. The last time he went to an amusement park was with his whole family, and he did not even get to enjoy it the fullest with his dad suddenly being called to go to his office.

So, when he finally set foot again at the age of nineteen, he finally understood why his friends really loved going there. All thoughts of him being a weirdo in Jimin’s eyes dissipated, now replaced with the burning desire to win every single game he laid his eyes upon.

Jimin seemed to be amused as he tagged along, letting Jungkook drag him to a new game after winning the one he was currently playing.

The whole time Jungkook was being talkative than usual, the fire in his eyes visible as he rolled his sleeves to hit a beaver with the squeaky hammer. Jimin helped him by hitting the beavers with his hand, it was cheating and they ended up laughing when the owner chased them away.

They were sitting on one of the tables, Jungkook now acquired a ridiculous headband he put on his head while Jimin now had a new plushy friend. The sundae they ordered tasted splendid, maybe it was because the both of them were famished from all the laughter and energy they spent on the games.

“You’ve been here before?”

Jungkook shrugged, eyes fixated on the chocolate ice-cream as he took a scoop using his plastic spoon. “Once. Twice, I think. Back then they did not have lots of games.”

“I was so worried you might hate it.”

“Hate it?” Jungkook chuckled in disbelief, looking up to Jimin with an eyebrow raised. “More like, love it. I never really got the time to do this, even with my friends. So really, thank you for this.”

Subconsciously, Jimin quirked his head to the side slightly, blinking at him in confusion before asking, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Jungkook began with a sigh. “I was mostly tutored at home on Sundays, with a promise to get into some school thinking that maybe if I do get in, I’d have more time to myself. But turns out it’s wrong, because as soon as I got in, there’s more work to be done and I ended up having no time at all.”

Jimin had this sympathetic look on his face, where his plump lips parted and his eyes filled with pity as he looked at Jungkook. Jungkook hated it, hated being pitied and all he wished for right there and then, was for the ground to open up and swallow him whole so Jimin could stop pitying him.

“What course did you take?”

“Accounting,” he answered, shrugging nonchalantly although his voice was heavy.

“You like it?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Is that why you’re not planning to go to Uni?”

He nodded sceptically. He was not comfortable in talking about educational stuff because it made him scared of the future, but there was just something in the way Jimin spoke, how he found comfort in his presence, that Jungkook felt like he wanted to spill it all out to Jimin despite finding it hard to do so with his own friends.

“I’m a college dropout, and the last thing you wanted to hear is an advice from me,” Jimin murmured. “But if it feels like the right thing to do, you should go for it. When will you live your life the way you wanted to, if you keep on letting others decide for you?”

“It’s just so difficult for me. I don’t know, honestly.”

Jimin smiled. “You’ll find out eventually. You’ll know, I believe in you.”

Jungkook did not want to be that person who broke down to tears every time a person said something nice about him, and he certainly did not want to cry on his first date with Jimin, so he said the first thing that came into his mind:

“Let’s ride the pirate ship.”

   Riding the pirate ship was fun because of two things:

a)    It turned out Jimin was not a big fan of heights nor thrill rides, so the screams emitted from the tangerine haired man surprised the hell out of Jungkook but it was hilarious. (He felt bad for laughing afterwards mainly because Jimin sulked.)

b)    Everyone, including Jimin, was too busy screaming to notice the tear that slipped from Jungkook’s eye due to the heart-warming conversation they had earlier. (So, Jungkook was an emotional man, sue him.)

“That was fun!” Jungkook squealed, after getting off the pirate ship while Jimin had to hold onto the railing for some support.

Jimin let out a cough before glaring at Jungkook. “Fun? I nearly died!”

“Let’s go again!”

“Oh no, I don’t think so. Once is enough.”

Jungkook only laughed at the response, immediately feeling ten times better than he did minutes ago. He suggested to go to the rollercoaster next, which Jimin abruptly denied, threatening that he’d go straight back home if Jungkook forced him to go.

The sky turned scarlet gold by the time they were on their way back to the parking lot, hands full of items they won from the games they have played. Unlike their ride to the amusement park, they began to feel more comfortable around each other, Jungkook cracking a cheesy joke once in a while and when he heard himself, he wished he has not said it but the moment Jimin broke into a boisterous laughter, shoulders shaking so hard he had to pull over to the side of the road from laughing too hard, Jungkook decided that he loved making Jimin laugh.

He thought Jimin would have sent him straight back home, seeing that it was nearly 7PM and when he voiced it out, Jimin only replied with, “Without feeding you? No way!”

Which was how they ended up in a small restaurant Jungkook never heard of, situated between a vintage shop and a bookstore. Even before he stepped a foot in, the smell of fried chicken tickled his nostrils and filled his lungs, causing his stomach to growl in hunger.

The moment the both of them entered the restaurant, an aunty from the counter greeted with a booming voice, “Hello, Jiminie! Came back with a friend now, I see.”

Jimin chuckled, replying back with a, “I miss your food already,” as he pulled a chair from the table near the wall.

The aunty giggled, treading towards their table with a notepad ready in one hand.

The both of them ordered one plate of chicken, Jimin requesting all of them to be the wing parts. Jungkook settled with fried rice while Jimin went with ramen.

“I love this place, I’ve gone here since I was a kid.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, my dad used to take me here after school. I plan to bring Jooyeon here someday, but I just did not have the time.”

Jungkook hoped Jimin did not caught the flash of apprehension on his face as soon as he uttered his kid’s name, a reminder to Jungkook that the man with him now had a child, possibly had a wife before then too. He managed to cover his feelings with a grin.

“That reminds me, actually. I was wondering why you were always late when picking her up…”

Jimin tilted his head slightly, eyes not meeting Jungkook’s as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well,” he susurrated, “Her mother got a new job in the city and although it’s not exactly near my workplace, I was the closest to her at the moment. Usually my parents would offer to pick her up, but they also had their own thing going so…”

“Oh, I see. I understand,” Jungkook murmured.

“Terribly sorry though, for all the troubles I’ve caused you. We’re thinking of moving her to a new school, but it’ll only take months from her graduation day so we decided against it.”

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, surprised at the news. “Moving Jooyeon? Really?”

Jimin chuckled, shaking his head. “My sister told her first, and she threw a fit. She loves the school, you see.”

‘Of course she loved it, she’s the Supreme Lord who wants to dominate everybody,’ Jungkook thought.

“She loves you too.”

Now, that one Jungkook never expect to see it coming. Park Jooyeon? Loving somebody? It was absurd to Jungkook.

“She talks about you every single day after we got home, she told us how nice you were to her and how you’re never angry at her,” Jimin smiled. “We always receive complains, you know, whenever there’s a parent-teacher meeting. It was the first time I’ve heard of someone not punishing her for making other kid cry.”

Jungkook pressed his lips into a straight line, feeling a bit guilty for having Jimin praising him. Most of what he said was true, Jungkook never yelled or punish Jooyeon, and that was only because he mastered the art of avoiding her. Whenever she stirred up troubles, it was always the others that handle her.

“She’s a kid. I can’t do that to a kid, Jimin,” Jungkook muttered.

“And I can see now why she loves you, Jungkook. Really, thank you for taking care of her.”

He felt warmth on top of his hand and he glanced to find Jimin’s hand on top of his.

Jungkook did not look up, afraid to look at Jimin as guilt flowed into his veins. He looked up to Jimin eventually when Jimin’s thumb circled gently on his, the man had a soft smile on his lips, eyes filled with what Jungkook believed were little stars, tightening the clamp around Jungkook’s chest.

Jungkook swallowed, forcing himself to smile back but it was difficult when his head was filled with the thought of the feelings he stored for his daughter back then, the thought of Jimin with the mother of his kid.

He struggled to find the right words for him to say, and thankfully for him, their food arrived just in time.

  The drive back home was filled with comfortable silence between them, only the radio playing the latest hit songs with Jimin humming to the ones he knew. Once arrived, the both of them went out of the car, Jimin hurriedly running to open the back door for Jungkook to grab his stuff.

“Thanks for today,” Jungkook smiled, hugging the plushies close to his chest.

Jimin grinned as he closed the door, folding his arms after as he leaned against the car. “I had a great time, Jungkook.”

“Me too.”

“I…” Jimin stood up straight now, the confident demeanour he had just seconds ago now vanished into thin air. “I was wondering,” he started with a huff, looking as if he was debating with himself.

“Uhuh.”

“I was wondering if… uh… if you’d like to this again. Sometimes. If you don’t mind.”

Jungkook chuckled, letting his gaze fall to his shoes, unsure what to answer Jimin. He liked Jimin, he really did. Jimin made him open up in a way no one ever did, he made Jungkook feel like he mattered.

“I’d love to, I really do,” Jungkook answered before letting out a sigh. “But…”

Jimin panicked. “But…?”

“But my results coming up real soon, and I think I might want to pursue higher education. So… I might be a bit busy.”

Jimin heaved out a sigh of relief. “Noted. Understood. For a second there, I thought you might not like me. That’ll be a real problem.”

As soon as the words escaped his mouth, Jimin’s eyes widened and he stuttered to fix his mistake, “I mean — you’re a great person and a-all.”

Jungkook only let out a small laugh.

‘But I do like you. A lot. And that’s the real problem.’

  ♡♡♡

  Jungkook was nineteen, nearly twenty in just a couple of months, when it dawned to him that he made terrible life choices sometimes.

And accepting Jimin’s invitation for the date might be on the list now. Because the date turned out pretty well, he had tons of fun which lead his small crush developing into a humongous mess of feelings.

Although he really, really, really liked Jimin, his conscience was begging him to stop. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Jimin – he smelled good, his voice could put the angels down to sleep, he looked as if god took extra time to carve him and the most important of it all, he laughed at Jungkook’s lame ass jokes (yeah, fuck you, Seungcheol, Jungkook did have a sense of humour).

But Jimin happened to have a kid, who was one of Jungkook’s students. He did not know what he was thinking when he kept on looking out for Jimin.

The voice at the back of his head told him that it was not wrong, seeing that they practically did not do anything out of the line at all.

(Sure, Jimin almost kissed him the night after their date – but they were interrupted by Jungkook’s mother, who yelled at Jungkook when she saw them outside. It was embarrassing and certainly a pity, because Jungkook did want to know what it felt like to have Jimin’s lips on his.)

Yugyeom assured him that it was fine, it was not as if Jungkook was a permanent teacher there. He did not even teach Jooyeon – or any of the kids, as a matter of fact – which meant that he was not technically her teacher.

However, he found the whole thing to be unsettling, which made him refused to reply Jimin’s text.

Jimin sent him a message that night.

His debated with himself whether he should, which he did but ended up backspacing everything and turning off his phone. It had been a week since their date, and he had not heard a word from Jimin. A part of him wished that Jimin would send him more texts, wanted Jimin to be wary of why he was not replying, but another part of him was glad that Jimin was not persistent.

After all, it would make the whole ‘moving on’ thing a lot easier.

(Technically, they were never even together but Jungkook was embarrassed to say that he had such strong feelings towards Jimin.)

    It was not Jungkook’s intention to avoid talking to Jooyeon entirely, but he could not help but felt a pang in his chest every time the girl initiated a conversation. It was no secret that it was Jooyeon that brought him closer to Jimin, but she was also the main reason why Jungkook did not allow himself to involve himself any further.

Besides, it was Jooyeon’s grandparents who picked her up lately, which meant there was no need for Jungkook to stay and watch over her as she went home early.

He hated himself for feeling this way, but he missed her. He really did.

    Jungkook’s mind was wandering around, unfocused even though he was staring straight at the TV. Somi was on his lap, too absorbed in watching Mickey Mouse to notice Jungkook was not paying attention. Jooyeon was back in the room again, this time with Sooyoung monitoring her.

When recess came, Jooyeon was allowed to eat with the others and the moment she sat down, she was already looking at Jungkook as if she was asking him to come over. Jungkook purposely made himself busy, feeding the younger children their food and helping them to open their lunchboxes.

The next thing he knew when he was washing his hands, he heard a loud cry from one of the girls, followed by a scream from Sooyoung. The sudden noise made him jump and he abruptly dried his hands to see the commotion.

Jungkook observed the surroundings; a half-eaten sandwich was on the ground, Sooyoung panicking as she picked up Jooyeon from the ground, Hansol flipping through one of the students’ personal files and Mr. Jinki was on the phone as he paced around.

Jungkook’s eyes widened a smidgen, a feeling of dread coursing through his veins as Sooyoung patting on Jooyeon’s back softly.

“What’s happening?” Jungkook asked.

“Allergy reactions. She ate a peanut butter.”

“It’ll take too long for the ambulance to arrive, I’ll bring her to the hospital,” Mr. Jinki suggested, placing his phone at the back of his slacks as he took Jooyeon from Sooyoung’s embrace. “Hansol, have you called her mother? One of you should come with me.”

Jooyeon started sneezing then before she kept on sniffing. “K-koo…”

“I’ll go with you,” Jungkook chimed in. “I can call her father on our way there.”

“Found it!” Hansol exclaimed, eyes scanning through the contact details quickly. “And, uh, Kook? I don’t think there’s a need to call her dad…”

   Mr. Jinki had to go back to school to teach while Jungkook had to wait for Jooyeon and explain her situation to her parents. Her grandparents arrived as soon as she was brought to the emergency room. Honestly, Jungkook was expecting for them to start yelling and point fingers to him or Mr. Jinki, but they were surprisingly very quiet about it.

In fact, they only waited for the doctor patiently and even had the decency to get Jungkook a cup of coffee although he did not deserve it. The doctor came out a few moments later, asking for the legal guardians to go with him. It only dawned to Jungkook how dumb it was to act on impulse and volunteered to go with Mr. Jinki.

As he sat on the chair, arms folded and brows etched, his train of angry thoughts was disturbed by hastened footsteps. Turning to the source of noise, he frowned when he found out whom it belonged it.

Fucking brilliant.

Just motherfucking brilliant.

“Oh my god.” Jimin halted, panting from running. He gulped. “Where- Where’s Jooyeon?”

Jungkook glared at Jimin, the anger burning bright in his veins as he felt his entire body tense with the need to shove Jimin away.

He ended up calling Jimin in the car, despite initially not wanting to do so. The last thing he wanted was to see the liar’s face. Hansol had told him earlier that Jooyeon’s father was somewhere abroad now, that the man would be unreachable which would be impossible for him to come back here to check up on his kid.

Jungkook refused to believe it at first, because he did meet her father.

During the wait, Jungkook took the chance to call Hansol, asking for explanation. Instead of explaining, he hung up and sent Jungkook a picture of Jooyeon’s personal details.

And lo and behold, under FATHER’S NAME, was the name of someone Jungkook was not familiar with.

Instead of PARK JIMIN, what was written underneath the column was CHOI SIWON.

The urge to scream at Jimin was too strong, and luckily Jungkook was aware that they were at the hospital and refrained himself from doing things that might cause trouble.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jungkook demanded. “You’re not her father. Why did you lie to me?”

Jimin’s face fell, his lips parted open and brow raised in confusion. “W-what?”

“All this fucking time, Jimin, all this fucking time—”

“Jungkook, what the heck?”

Jungkook stood up from his seat, ignoring the noise he made when the chair rattled. Folding his arms, he let a scoff jumbled out of his lips. “You’re not her father, Jimin. What type of person would lie about that?”

“Oh my god,” Jimin muttered devastatingly as he ran his fingers through his tangerine bangs. “Look, I’m so sorry about that. It was not my intention.”

“Then who are you? Why would you lie to me? Do you think it’s funny this whole goddamn time?”

Jimin sighed, weariness evident on his face and the way his shoulder slumped. “Kook, I just couldn’t find the right time to—”

Jungkook interrupted him with an empty chuckle as he cocked his head, shaking his head in weak attempt to rein his emotions. “You did not even bother to tell me? Did you take me for a fool?”

“Jungkook, no, what the f— I never think of you like that.”

“Then?”

“You never even asked.”

“Wow,” Jungkook gasped mockingly. “To think that I actually like you. Thank you for proving me wrong.” Jungkook did not want to speak in such venomous tone, but it just came out that way on its account. With one last glare, Jungkook walked away, not bothering to turn to Jimin even when the orange-haired man called out his name.

   11 missed calls from DO NOT ANSWER.

6 new messages from DO NOT ANSWER.

   Jungkook received his results on a Tuesday, when he was watching a rerun of That 70’s Show with a bowl full of potato chips on his lap. He decided to get a day off as he never had one before since he started working there. He managed to drown himself in an ocean of self-loathing, imagining what he would have said more just to hurt Jimin and ended up tearing up at their imaginary argument.

He had not seen Jimin after their meeting at the hospital, and Jooyeon was absent three days after that, meaning he had no contact at all with Jimin. Sure, Jimin sent him several text messages (which he did not bother to open) and missed calls (which he purposely ignored), but soon enough it stopped.

It was as if Jimin gave up on trying to apologize and explain, which Jungkook found to be irritating really, because if he wanted forgiveness, he should work harder for it.

It was during the part where Jackie and Hyde were slow dancing when his phone vibrated on the coffee table. “Finally,” he muttered with an eyeroll, secretly hoping it was Jimin who came back in a desperate attempt to apologize. But instead, it was an email notification from his school.

“Fuck,” he groaned, angry at himself for getting his hopes up.

He lain back on the couch and lazily opened the notification only to jump in surprise as soon as his eyes finished scanning the content.

“Holy shit…” he murmured, rereading the text over and over again to ensure himself that he was not dreaming. “Holy shit!!”

He abruptly called his mother after that, screaming his results the moment she picked up the phone and soon enough his mother started screaming in joy too.

“My smart, beautiful son!” she cooed proudly. If she was there she would have suffocated him in a tight embrace. “I know you can make it, my lovely boy. Do you want to resign this week?”

“Um… what?”

“Your job. I’m sure the they already knew that you’ll be resigning after you’ve gotten your results, right? So, you can focus on Uni now?”

“Oh.” His voice dropped an octave as a wave of realisation hit him that he won’t be able to see Jooyeon (Jimin) anymore. “Yeah, they do.”

“Okay then.” He heard her sigh in content before adding, “We’ll have dinner outside later, yeah? As a celebration. I love you, Jungkook. I’m really proud of you.”

All the anger he consumed made him forgot that he would leave the school, reducing the chances of him to ever see Jimin again. “Fuck,” he muttered, letting himself fall on the couch as he dragged his hand across his face in frustration.

He should be feeling happy that he was leaving soon, and he fucking hated himself for feeling dreadful that he would leave what could-have-been ‘them aka Jimin & Jungkook’ like that; no explanation, just the small argument on the hallway at the hospital.

Fuck.  

   “Teacher Kook.” He heard a small voice calling him while he was stacking chocolate milks carefully on the fridge. He turned to the direction of the source of the voice, to find that Jooyeon was standing in the doorway. Her hair was braided this time and she had her backpack on, clutching the straps tightly.

“Hey,” Jungkook replied, closing the fridge to get up to her. “You’re going home late this time?”

She nodded, stretching out her arms to make grabby hands, implying she wanted to be held. Jungkook sighed before giving in, hefting her effortlessly from the ground and she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Why didn’t you come yesterday?” she asked, voice so gentle Jungkook thought he was hearing things.

“I was busy,” he answered, going back to the fridge to stack the remaining milks with only one hand this time.

“Are you gonna leave Jooyeon?”

He was not sure whether his ears were defying him, because he would never expect this day to come. The day when he got to hear fear in Jooyeon’s voice, the day when she actually sounded like a harmless little girl.

Incredulous, Jungkook looked down at her. “What? No. I’m gonna stay here until someone picks you up.”

She tilted her head to look up at him, her eyes were huge and Jungkook daresay gleaming with what seemed like tears. It was as if she was putting on her puppy eyes, but it was more different this time. “Teacher Jinki says you’re going to leave.”

“Oh. You mean that,” he murmured.

“Please don’t leave.”

Jungkook took a deep breath, pressing his lips into a straight line before deciding that he was just going to lie through his teeth. One thing he learnt while being surrounded with kids nearly every day, it was that sometimes you got to lie. Now he knew what his mother felt when she told him his father was going on vacation for a long time.

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” she grinned, the mistiness in her eyes were replaced by thousands of stars and Jungkook almost felt bad for lying.

“Alright, let’s wait at the front, shall we? We can watch Peppa to kill time.”

And Jungkook wished that someone would just kill him when he saw Park fucking Jimin standing near the counter.

‘Ah, fuck.’

“Hey,” Jimin said slowly, testing the waters as he raised his hand to awkwardly waved.

“Hello,” Jungkook replied as uninterested as he could. “Jooyeon, Jimin’s here,” he told her, but her grip around her only seemed to tightened.

“Can we talk?” Jimin asked.

Jungkook would be lying if he did not say no because he really did. Although he was relieved that Jimin was not a father, a part of him felt a little betrayed that Jimin chose to go with the lie instead of telling Jungkook the truth. He sighed before attempting to hand Jooyeon to Jimin, but the attempt proved to be unsuccessful as Jooyeon clung harder to him like a koala. Confused, he asked, “What’s wrong? You shouldn’t keep Jimin waiting.”

“Don’t wanna go, don’t wanna go!”

“Crap,” Jimin murmured, running his fingers through his tangerine locks before approaching them. “She’s been acting up since a few days ago.”

Jungkook wanted to ask why but held himself back. He did not want to get involved anymore.

“Jooyeonie, come on,” Jimin coaxed, trying to pull her away from Jungkook but to no avail.

After a few more tries, Jimin successfully pried her away from him, causing Jooyeon to broke into a fit as she struggled to escape Jimin’s hold. Jungkook only smiled sympathetically as he watched Jimin hushing her to quiet down, gently pushing her head against her chest to silence her screams. She started crying them, sobbing onto Jimin’s chest and while Jungkook would have felt better hearing her cry weeks ago, it was now substituted with a feeling of pity.

“I’m so sorry,” Jimin whispered, one hand caressing her head soothingly.

Before he could stop himself, he heard himself ask, “For her crying or for lying?”

“Okay, I deserved that,” Jimin muttered before answering, “For both. But more towards the lying.”

Jungkook only hummed as a response.

“Jooyeonie, stop crying, won’t you? Teacher Kook’s here now,” Jimin murmured, looking down to Jooyeon as he wiped her tears with his thumb. “He’s here now.”

Jooyeon sniffed, glancing at Jungkook as if she was scared Jungkook might have disappeared into thin air. Jungkook faked a smile he hoped was genuine. “What’s wrong? You’re a big girl now, you shouldn’t be crying.”

Jooyeon pouted, lips trembling as she stared at Jungkook with teary wide eyes.

“It’s fine,” Jungkook assured, bending down to pat her head gently. “You should go home and sleep, okay?”

He looked up to Jimin, who mouthed a thank you before straightening up, hoping they would just leave.

“Look, Jungkook, can we talk outside? Properly, this time?”

“Why?” That was dumb, but it was the only appropriate respond Jungkook would come out with.

“Please. You don’t want two babies to start crying here, don’t you?” Jimin pouted.

Jungkook turned away, forcing himself to tamper down the grin that threatened to take over his face. “Fine,” he answered with a huff. “Only because Hansol is in the toilet.”

To which, a respond from Hansol coming from the toilet was heard. “I wasn’t eavesdropping! Y’all talk too loud!”

  ♡♡♡

   Jooyeon fell asleep in Jimin’s arm as soon as she stopped crying. Carefully, Jimin positioned her on the passenger’s seat and put on the safety belt. Jungkook ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at the sight of Jimin being caring towards the girl who apparently was not his.

With folded arms, Jungkook tilted his head to the side and asked, “What is it that you want to talk about?”

Jimin sighed, putting a hand in the back pocket of his jeans while the other consciously rubbing the back of his neck. “Listen, I’m so sorry, okay.”

“Huh.”

“It was not my intention, I can swear on it. It just happened. You assumed I was her dad, and it was my fault for not correcting you in the first place. I thought it was… amusing at first, and truth be told, I was scared that if I told you the truth, there would not be any reason for me to see you again.”

‘What.’

“I mean, you were this nice guy who put up with her. Trust me, I know what a monster she was. I babysit her all the time, for God’s sake. And knowing that she actually likes you, a person who had only been with her for weeks, it’s kind of… I don’t know, it makes me envious?”

‘The.’

Jimin took a deep breath, directing his gaze heavenward as if seeking divine guidance before continuing, “At first I just wanted to get to know who is this guy? The guy whom my baby claimed to love? And then I saw how good you were with her, how comfortable she was with you and I know that I’ll like you too.”

‘Fuck.’

“Okay, see,” Jungkook interrupted. “Things like you calling her your baby, is what caused the assumption in the first place.”

“But she really is my baby! I raised her,” Jimin countered defensively with a small pout.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “I’m confused now.”

“I’m her uncle, Jungkook. My sister is her mother. I had no choice but to help her in times of crisis. I dropped out of college to help her. Which brings me to my second point—”

Jungkook’s jaw dropped at the revelation, slowly realizing what a dumbass he was. He felt guilty for being mad at Jimin for no apparent reason.

“— I have not been able to reach out to you because, well, I was busy. I’m taking night classes for private exams.”

And there Jungkook’s pride went. Right to the trash can.

“Okay, fuck, Jimin. I had no idea, I’m so sorry that I think of you as this big liar,” Jungkook murmured in shame, not daring to look up to Jimin because he was in The Wrong.

Jimin chuckled. “It’s fine. I’m not really big on talking about stuff like that, honestly. I guess I was just too interested in getting to know you that I forgot to tell you my story.”

“Really though,” Jungkook smiled sympathetically. “I truly am sorry.”

Jimin sighed before grinning. “Are we okay now?”

“Yeah… we are.”

“Good. Cause I’d really like to take you out on a second date, if you don’t mind?”

“What…” Jungkook let out a small laugh, face reddening with embarrassment at Jimin’s bluntness. “But why?”

Jimin raised an eyebrow sceptically. “I thought you… like me too?”

Jungkook blinked.

“Jooyeon loves you, I lo— like you. Maybe we should give us a try again.”

“I—” Jungkook was about to protest, but then he saw the look in Jimin’s eyes – how genuine his eyes were, how careful he was when the words left his lips – and after all the nights he spent awake, wondering why he did not deserve Jimin and why Jimin would lie to him, he knew that it was worth a try. “— okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

Jimin giggled, a sound Jungkook did not know he was dreading to hear again. “Alright. I’ll… talk to you later?”

He felt a smile crept on his lips and this time he did not try to conceal it with a frown. “Okay.”

  ♡♡♡

[ghostmartyr]

Okay. Let’s try this again. But healthy-like.

...Which, since it’s me, means religious stuff. I understand if reading about how I want to blow my brains out is easier to stomach.

Things are bad, but not insurmountably bad. I have a solid support system. The monetary side of that support system scares me to death, but nothing has gone away yet. Even if it does, I am supposedly devoutly religious enough to believe in miracles, and believe that divine intervention is very literally the only reason any of my life has been possible.

There’s no reason to think that’s going to change. The fact that I don’t find that entirely comfortable is between me and God, and the more energy I put into that, the more it’ll be okay. Life is bad enough that only a miracle can save me, and I believe in miracles. That’s like the opposite of a problem.

In theory. Practical application of said theory is lost somewhere between wanting to shoot myself and deciding to announce to the general public that I want to shoot myself. Every time I point out to myself that my faith says I’ll be okay because God’s always there for me, another, deeply cynical part of me points out that He was also there for me when I had sepsis, and if I’m being honest, that was the most horrifying experience of my life.

Knowing that I can come back from anything really just fills me with existential dread, because you know, I have seen a fair share of ‘anything,’ and I don’t care for it. I don’t want to know that I can survive anything. I want to be safe from anything happening to me.

Historically, I am the person who ends up eaten by a whale. Or I guess it wasn’t actually a whale? My Bible literacy is made of fail, but the point is, me and God are still in the “Do I have to?” phase of our relationship.

The current unwanted task is living.

To which the answer is no, I don’t have to keep living. However badly I screw this up, there’s an eternity waiting for me, and I can flip the switch whenever I want.

This life doesn’t have an eternity. It’s a unique, temporary, instant of existence.

Putting off forever for one more sliver of that instant, just to see where it goes, isn’t that hard. I do it by accident all the time. I go to bed, and wake up breathing.

I like my bed. It has a tiger bedspread. It’s thinner than it used to be, and I can’t make myself make the damn thing, but it’s snug, it’s mine, and I don’t see a problem with it. I feel pretty confident in saying that death would irrevocably change the interaction I have with my bed.

It’s temporary, so I should make the most of it. No one else is going to care about my bed or how my bookcase is organized, and even though I have days I don’t care either, there are days when I do, so what the hell.

Everything hurts a lot right now. I have zero control over the physical. Again, miracle needed, so I can just relax and coast and. you know, suffer. A lot. A real awful lot. An unfair lot.

...Yeah, no happy silver lining answers for the bad days or moods. They’re bad, I tolerate them badly, and I scare people. But I’ve been having a bad day for months now, and it hasn’t stopped me from doing things that aren’t so bad. Infinity War was amazing. I wrote 9000 words of a hs au my brain is convinced no one cares about. Several people have told me they enjoy it, so I know my brain’s lying about that, but believing that no one cares means that, while no one’s cared, I’ve written 24k words of story in a handful of months. Story I kind of dig. All while being horrifically depressed.

I think that turned into a silver lining answer.

Fuck, I don’t know, man, if I’d offed myself I wouldn’t get to write about Ymir wanting to bang a cheerleader, and that’s clearly the pinnacle of what I should be doing with my life.

I can never remember any of that during the bad times, and that sucks, but hey, maybe writing it down will make the memory a little deeper.

So, uh, positives.

Despite certain inclinations, I have not actually committed murder. Every tiny setback right now feels like the end of the world, but being able to wake up in the morning and hate the world would seem to indicate that it’s still there, so it’s just a very, very bad feeling, not real.

I have very little concept of what’s real or not, since my emotions sort of exist in peekaboo limbo. Babies have no concept of object permanence, and right now, neither do parts of me. On the one hand, awkward, on the other, it means that the tempest of rage is only summoned when provoked. Yay team.

Less positive, it is not good that suicidal rage has developed as a coping mechanism to doing slightly poorly in a video game, and once it’s started, it’s hard to shut off. I get it. I don’t feel like a person, so I judge myself based on accomplishments, and because of my health, those accomplishments are things like doing slightly okay at a video game, and I’m letting my entire sense of worth hinge on that. Along with other external factors.

This is bad, and unhealthy, and since I hate myself, I’m probably going to keep doing it. Not in a, “oh you scamp, haven’t you learned yet?” way, it’s just entirely possible that the fact that I can sometimes aim in a video game is really the most positive thing I can say about myself some days, and I can’t see a way to delicately switch myself over to understanding that it really doesn’t matter without losing one of my few bright spots.

But I am clearly overly investing in certain things, and I need to get into the habit of just turning the damn game off if it’s making me that angry. I know the moods come on fast, and I know I have delusions of conquering them before they go anywhere, and sometimes, I even break through the other side.

Oh well. I don’t like feeling like that. I hate that feeling enough that I should get into the habit of cutting my losses at the first sign of self-loathing. I know I feel like there is nothing else I can do with my time, but there is. I can watch anime. I can play other games. I own a game where the entire strategy revolves around killing yourself. I love it, and it keeps failure entertaining. I have other outlets.

Also, obsessive cycles have tripped me up my whole life. This is just one more, and it needs to be handled the same as all the others. No, it won’t be fun, and maybe I will be bored out of my skull, but that’s better than frothing with rage.

And I really should be watching more anime. I don’t know what it says about my mental health that I am actively avoiding things I have a long history of loving, but I’m guessing it’s nothing good, and even if I can’t fix the underlying problem, I can address the symptoms. Go watch more cartoons. Write more. Any day now, I can lock myself in my room and finish my Lego X-Wing (Poe’s, so it’s black, and so very badass, and no, I don’t know why it’s been collecting dust, but again, I’m sure it’s a sign of nothing good).

So the argument that I need to keep doing the things that make me angry is moot, because it isn’t actually all I have. It just feels that way, and all of my feelings are wrong and damaged, so I should stop listening to them.

...In a healthy, rising above way. No a repressing way. That is at least half of the reason posts like these end up happening.

None of this is really making me feel better right now, since I’m in a moment where I’m less than sure I have feelings, but that isn’t the point. I learn better when I put things into my own words, and I haven’t been taking care of myself lately. I don’t know that it’s even possible for me to do better than I have been, but the end result is the same, and the end result has me really tired.

This is like a benign to-do/ponder list. Maybe it will make an impression, maybe it won’t, but at least one more time, I went through the motions of trying to sort life and its greys out instead of painting the whole thing black.

Hopefully that something something. I dunno, I’m kind of a wreck, and I lost my perceived point more times than I want to count. I think I’m done here.

Except for saying thanks to the people who responded to the more... head explodey post. I’m bad at saying thank you, and letting people know how much they mean to me in general. I get embarrassed. Usually, when I hit my meltdown point, I know, on some level, I will find my calm again. Receiving kindness when I could have kept my mouth shut and gotten over it makes me uncomfortable. Especially when I know it’s probably going to happen again. People help me out so much, and with such regularity, and it kills me that it’s not enough, because it’s more than I could have ever asked for. I don’t know how to say thank you without feeling ashamed the next time. It’s like I failed, and dragged all of you down with me by letting you believe you helped me.

When that’s a really, really incomplete view. It helps. It always helps. It isn’t the magic bullet, but it always means the world, and it always bolsters me for whatever the next thing waiting for me is. I really wish I could say that more often, because it would be great if you guys could know it. But, you know, shy. Cagey about being vulnerable. Suicidal ponderings okay, heartfelt appreciation of someone’s value is overly mushy and something to fear. Obviously.

Also, I’m me. I let loads of stuff go unsaid because with the important things, there are times I feel it strongly enough that the thought of bringing it back to earth where you need to tell people that it exists for them to know that---unspoken understandings shade a lot of my relationships. Then I end up horribly insecure because I don’t know how many boundaries I made up or we actually both agree on, so I don’t know why I keep thinking it’s a good way to treat people.

What I mean by all of that, is thanks. For being a large part of why I’m still here. I wish less of you knew what I was going through. I hope things improve for all of us, and I hope we’re all around for a good long time to share the evidence of that.

[meowmerson]

obsessive tom where he literally follows hermione everywhere and one day hermione has had enough so they literally play hide and seek 24/7 ????? Your tomione fics are the best!

(i want to write but im too jetlagged to focus on school days so here i am writing this)

(baby tomione. like four year olds)

Hermione loved preschool.

From the very first day her mother took her to the shops to get her brand new red backpack and filled it with her favorite stories and toys she had already decided that preschool was where she was destined to be. When she walked in those doors she saw bookshelves filled with books, toys everywhere she could see, and her teacher was kind and smart and lovely–

It was perfect.

All except…one thing.

There was a boy there. His name was Tom, he had dark hair and pale skin like snow white in her storybook, but he lacked the niceties of the princess in the story. He was rather strange, and he had very very dark eyes that were always fixed on her. 

Always.

She didn’t like him. Mostly because he called all her books baby books and they were not baby books, just because she liked books with pictures, that didn’t make her a baby, she couldn’t read the other books yet and her books were just fine. He also hated fun. And he said mean things all the time. And he insulted her cat when she brought a picture of him to show-and-tell.

And she hated him.

“Hermione.” He greeted when she walked in to her third day of preschool. She reached out and gripped the fabric of her mum’s trousers with her tiny fingers. Her mom was tying her hair up into a bun on her head before she left for the day.

“Who is this?” Her mother asked kindly. Hermione scowled. “One of your friends?”

“No.” Hermione spat.

Tom narrowed her eyes. She narrowed hers back.

“Hermione,” Her mother chided her, “Be nice.”

“Why?” She demanded, “Tom’s not nice.”

“I’m nice.” Tom said. She thinks he was supposed to be joking. His face did this funny thing where his weren’t pinched at the center and his mouth looked more relaxed almost like a smile but not quite. 

“No you’re not.” She told him.

“Yes I am.”

“No.” She said firmly, trying to mimic her mother’s voice when she gets cross, “You are not.”

“Yes I am–”

“No!” Hermione stomped her foot. “You are very not nice!”

“Hermione!” Her mother scolded, squatting down so she could look Hermione in the eye. She briefly turned to Tom with a tight smile, “Tom, why don’t you go play while I speak to Hermione.”

“I’ll stay here.” He said.

Her mother blinked, paused, opened her moth as if to insist and then pursed her lips and turned back to Hermione. “Hermione.” She said sternly, “I want you to go play with this nice boy.”

“Mummy!”

“No.” She said, “Don’t be rude. Go play with him.”

She took her backpack off and hung it up and left. Hermione glowered at Tom for about thirty seconds before pointedly ignoring him and marching toward the book shelf. 

A blonde boy named Draco had the hungry hungry caterpillar held in his hands, but when she stopped beside him to ask if she could use it when he was done, he rudely said no, so she huffed and–still ignoring Tom trailing behind her like a shadow–pulled a pretty green book from she shelf that she hadn’t read.

When she she sat down on the rug to read, she looked up and saw Tom snatch the book from Draco’s hands and push him to the ground. Draco immediately started crying, which Tom ignored as he stalked toward Hermione and sat beside her, offering the book to her.

Hermione gaped. Tom frowned and pointedly looked down at the book he was offering her.

But she didn’t really like Draco, so she didn’t say anything and just traded him books.

This didn’t mean she liked him sitting by her though, so she stood up and walked toward the tables and chairs to sit there. 

But he followed her. And then he followed her to every place she moved in the classroom. And then the teacher got toys out for the to play with and he followed her to all of the toys. And then they went out to recess and he followed her down the slide, and up the hill, and in the play house, and everywhere she went.

She tried to tell the teacher, but she just said ‘he just wanted to play with you, let him play’ and that was not an answer Hermione was satisfied with, not at all, so she just started running. 

She ran around the playground until she was sweaty and gasping for air and he was still right behind her, and then she ran some more until the teacher had to heard all the children back inside for snack time, then Hermione moved chairs four times before the teacher finally snapped at her to stay still, and still he was right there, he didn’t even say anything, he was just there always.

Hermione had enough.

Hermione hid in the cabinet in the play kitchen.

–

Mrs. Granger arrived to pick up her daughter after work and was greeted with the most terrified face she had ever seen on a teacher in her life.

“Hello…” She greeted warily, looking around the room at all of the children playing. 

“Mrs. Granger!” The teacher practically squeaked. “I um…you are here to pick up Hermione?”

“Yes,” She said, “Is everything okay?” She looked around, “Where is she?”

“Um.” The teacher hesitated. “We…don’t know.”

“…What?”

–

Tom had been searching the room for an hour.

He wouldn’t have obeyed the teacher when they asked him to go potty if he had known when he came out that Hermione would have just disappeared. He tried to ask the teacher about it, but they just got this panicked look on their face and started moving around the room very quickly, so Tom had to search by himself in all of the toy buckets and under every table to find her.

Honestly. He got in trouble for pushing Malfoy today for her and she was hiding from him? If she would just pay attention, she would see that they would make excellent friends. They weren’t like the other children, they didn’t cry every five minutes or toddle around in diapers or smash toys on other children’s heads for no reason at all. 

She was wonderful.

And extremely rude.

He checked in the empty LEGO box for the third time before trying to walk toward the part of the room that was ‘off limits’ for the moment, the part of the room that had the big play kitchen and the pretend vacuum cleaner and all of the other big toys, but the teacher intervened last minute by ushering him in the other direction.

That must be where she was, he thought. She snuck away while he was trapped in the potty on the teacher’s orders–and honestly, he knew when he needed to go, they didn’t need to order him to go every two hours like a child–and now she was hiding in there from him.

She was so smart.

It took another half hour for him to finally have the chance to sneak in, when Hermione’s mother arrived–he liked her, she understood that Hermione should be his friend even if Hermione didn’t understand it herself–and began angrily speaking to the teacher in hushed tones. He ran toward the big toys while they weren’t paying attention, checked in the play car, the tent, and finally the cabinet in the kitchen.

Where Hermione sat, crouched in the darkness, blinking up with him with wide, surprised eyes before her features flattened out into a scowl.

He took that as an invitation, and climbed in after her. 

“How did you find me?” She demanded as he shut the cabinet.

“I’m not stupid.” He informed her.

“Mum says not to use that word.”

“Do you do everything your mum says?” He asked her.

“Yes.” She said, as if it should be obvious. He raised his eyebrows.

“Well she told you to be my friend.” He reminded her, “So you should listen to her.”

“No,” She argued, shaking her head, “She told me to play with you, not be your friend, it’s different. I don’t want to be your friend. You follow me everywhere.”

“But you won’t mind if I was following you if we were friends,” He assured her, “You’d like it then.”

She frowned. “You’re not very nice.”

“I’m plenty nice.” He said. She frowned harder, “To you.” He added.

“Mum says to be nice.”

“I’m nice to you,” He said again.

“You’re mean to everyone else.” She said.

“Well,” He began, thoughtfully, “That way you can be nice like your mum says. And I can be mean for you.”

She narrowed her eyes. He hadn’t seen her do that before this morning after he did it. He wondered if she was mimicking him. “Hm.” She finally said, “How old are you?”

“I’m three.”

“You’re three?” She repeated, wide eyed. 

“I turned for last month.”

“I’m not three yet. I’m almost three.”

“I know.”

It was quiet for a moment. 

“What’s your favorite book?” She asked.

“I don’t like your baby books–”

“They are not baby books!” She was scowling again, which probably wasn’t a good sign, but he wasn’t going to lie. 

“I can bring a book for you to look at.” He told her, “You’d like it better.”

She took a moment to think about it. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

The kitchen cabinet opened then, accompanied by the teacher breathing out ‘Oh thank god’ and Hermione’s mother’s angry face.

“We’re friends now.” Hermione told them. “He can follow me if he wants.”

Whatever her mother was going to say–something angry, probably, judging by her face–was forgotten. She hesitated, then let out a long, tired sigh.

“Hermione,” She said, “Please don’t hide from your teacher.”

“Okay.”

She walked with her mother to the front of the classroom, put her red backpack on her shoulders, and turned to wave goodbye to Tom as she went. 

Draco asked Tom why he would want to be friends with someone with such ugly hair so Tom punched him in the stomach and got a time out, but it was worth it.

[smokeybrandreviews]

The Force is Weak

The Star Wars Experience at Disneyland has grossly under performed. Merchandise sales is at an all time low. The Last Jedi and Solo were both bombs. Rise of Skywalker is getting all kinds of side eye from the community. It’s wild to see this happening because i love Star Wars almost as much as i love Marvel. Skywalker and friends was a sure thing. How the f*ck did Disney f*ck it up? If you listen to Iger and Kennedy, it’s an combination of toxic male masculinity and Star Wars fatigue. While that is true, it’s not the major problem with this franchise. I’ve poke on this before but it’s been several years and i have a much larger cross section to judge. In my humble opinion as a fan of the   franchise since the 80s and a life long lover of geek culture, i wanted to dive back into this train wreck in a galaxy far away.

Problem: Kathleen Kennedy

Kennedy is the biggest problem Star Wars has encountered in a long time. She is the one-eyed, drunk, captain of this capsizing ship and she keeps throwing people overboard instead of actually patching the many, many, leaks that will follow. She’s the intern that was around that got Lucas his coffee for decades and came along in her position as a grandfathered in stipulation for the overall sale. Kennedy is not a creative. Kennedy does not know the lore. In fact, she has gone out of her way to declare her disdain for it. The decades of creative position outside of the initial 2 trilogies and Clone Wars simple doesn’t count, even though there are fan favorites and intriguing stories told in that now ambiguous mire. Kennedy seems to want to erase what Star Wars was and elevate what it’s going to be; What she is in charge of. It feels like she wants to be seen as equal to Lucas and that’s never going to happen.

Fix: Move Kennedy to a strictly executive position.

Get her out of the day-today. Effectively banish her to oblivion and install someone to take up that Kevin Feige roll. Maybe the cat that is in charge of Star Wars TV, Dave Filoni. You need someone who knows the lore and has a respect for it. Kennedy is neither of those things. That chip on her shoulder from years of being dismissed by the creatives at Lucasfilm has her literally dismantling everything the fans love because she hates it. I understand she has a contract but the fact that she gave Ryan Johnson a trilogy worth of Disney bucks after the way Last Jedi went, is very telling of where her head is. Basically Kathleen Kennedy needs to be removed from her responsibilities of the Day-to-Day of the Star Wars machine. She is the biggest problem. Literally everything wrong with this franchise begins and ends with her.

Problem: Rey

I don’t have a huge problem with Rey but i understand why everyone else does. Rey is mad OP for no other reason that “female empowerment” which is ludicrous because one of the strongest females ever set to film in Leia, is literally IN the same movie where Rey is introduced! How do you f*ck up the evolution of the next generation so hard when the blueprint is wlking around the set with you? Gender politics aside, i’ll get to that in a minute, Rey is more a prop that a character. We don’t know anything about her. At all. She’s super good at everything she attempts with no explanation. Like, a few throwaway lines here and there would fix the narrative laziness about her easily. “How can you fly this ship so well?” “I’ve been on Jakku my entire life. I’ve had time to study.” This exchange makes the fact Rey can fly the Falcon plausible. “How do you fight so well?” “i can kind of feel the flow of battle. I told you i can take care of myself.” This establishes Rey has a sense for battle that can’t be explained, ie. The force. Of course, this doesn’t explain how she bested Kylo or embarrassed Luke with a stick but it plants seeds for the real fix.

Fix: Rey HAS to be a Skywalker.

Not a Solo. Not a clone. Luke’s kid, specifically. Anything less will go down like glass with the fans. I think that’s where JJ was going when he wrote the treatment for these films. Objectively, that’s where it had to go. Star Wars is a Skywalker story. You can do so much with that line. Hell, the Expanded universe, f*cking Legends now i guess, did a wonderful job with all of it. Rey needs to be the child that Luke had in secret. Maybe those junkers stole her. Maybe he gave her away to keep her safe. In order to save that character, Rey NEEDS to be a Skywalker. This would only elevate her in the mythos, not belittle her accomplishments. But, again, Rey is a Kennedy creation. She can’t be linked to Skywalker in anyway because she’s hers and not his. This mentality is a mistake and it’s crippling one of the most compelling aspects of this brand new take on the franchise.

Problem: Gender Politics

Oh, this can of worms is about to get all over the place. So i get what Kennedy wanted to do. Star Wars is an inherently masculine story. It’s a story of fathers and sons. A patriarchy is strangling freedoms under threat of planetary destruction with the biggest phallus replacement in the history of cinema, until Awakens gave it some viagra for their climax. Throwing in a little estrogen would go a long way to level of this testosterone party. That makes sense and, like i stated above, Rey has potential. The community isn’t against female warriors. Look at Ahsoka. Ma started on a rocky introduction. By the time Clone Wars ended, she was held in the same air as Vader, Luke, Leia, and Solo. Ahsoka is literally my second favorite character in all of the mythos, after Vader. And that’s not counting any of the ancillary characters. Bastila Shan and Mira Jade immediately come to mind. Hell, Chelli Aphra has become one of my favorite characters! What these cats all have in common is the fact that they are well written characters with earned strength. None of these women are mary-sues who come across as more of a OC self insert than a proper Star Wars protagonist. None of these characters are plot derailing distractions with no substance or agency other than to save Finn, robbing him of his moment because “muh love.” Rose Tico. I’m talking about Rose Tico. Why is Rose Tico?

Fix: Tone that sh*t down.

It’s fine to have gender politics in these movies. They are political animals. It’s that the execution is scathing which, in turn, is alienating the community. “The force is female”? Really? Did that even need to be said, let alone printed on a shirt and paraded about while offending long time fans with your dismissal of their very valid concerns? There were, of course, asshole in that chorus. Hell, they might have been the loudest. But just because i have a critique about your movie, doesn’t make me sexist or chauvinist. It means that there are very real issues with character and narrative development that needs to be addressed. It means that, if i can see these flaws, they are very visible. That means a lot of people are seeing the same things i am because they are there. I don’t hate women. I don’t hate the female-led direction of this new trilogy. I hate bad stories and these, so far, are bad stories. Stop using your feminism as a shield to legitimate critique and fix the goddamn movies!

Problem: Direction

These cats, on the sword of Kennedy, have gone through a lot of directors, man. of these first movies, a little over half have had a director change in the middle of production. Hell, Solo had their directors changed because Kennedy fired them over that Droid, L3-37. Apparently, that was a caricature of Kennedy, herself. The directors, the cats who made Lego Movie and Spider-Verse, thought it was funny. Kennedy didn't so she fired them, even though their movie was 3/4 finished.Rogue One suffered a similar fate but that was more Kennedy hated the film and it was managed poorly so Tony Gilroy “directed reshoots” but it’s widely known he shot just under the amount that would give him a director credit. And then there’s the directors promised movies, who lost them before they even started production. Trank, i’m looking at you.

Fix: Vet your visionaries better.

I don’t understand why this is a such a problem for Star Wars when Disney owns the blueprint for this sh*t in Marvel Studios. Feige hires cats you wouldn’t expect and let’s them create to their strengths.The Russos have given us the strongest films in the MCU and Winter Soldier is, in my opinion, their Dark Knight. Taika Waititi literally saved the entirety pf the Thor franchise and is positioned to be the first in MCU history to get a fourth installment. Edgar Wright was tapped for Ant-Man but in a rare misstep by Feige, walked away. Instead, they hired Peyton Reed but had enough respect for what Wright brought to the table, that they used his screenplay and gave him credit for it. Kennedy has extended no such courtesies. It’s like she doesn’t make movies with any respect for the material but makes the movies she’s always wanted to make but couldn’t. It’s like a bunch of sporadic ideas that are all over the place. You can’t make a coherent, interconnected, cinematic universe by throwing sh*t at the wall and seeing what will stick. hat’s what the DCEU did and we’ve seen how that has fared.

[smokeybrand]

The Force is Weak

The Star Wars Experience at Disneyland has grossly under performed. Merchandise sales is at an all time low. The Last Jedi and Solo were both bombs. Rise of Skywalker is getting all kinds of side eye from the community. It’s wild to see this happening because i love Star Wars almost as much as i love Marvel. Skywalker and friends was a sure thing. How the f*ck did Disney f*ck it up? If you listen to Iger and Kennedy, it’s an combination of toxic male masculinity and Star Wars fatigue. While that is true, it’s not the major problem with this franchise. I’ve poke on this before but it’s been several years and i have a much larger cross section to judge. In my humble opinion as a fan of the  franchise since the 80s and a life long lover of geek culture, i wanted to dive back into this train wreck in a galaxy far away.

Problem: Kathleen Kennedy

Kennedy is the biggest problem Star Wars has encountered in a long time. She is the one-eyed, drunk, captain of this capsizing ship and she keeps throwing people overboard instead of actually patching the many, many, leaks that will follow. She’s the intern that was around that got Lucas his coffee for decades and came along in her position as a grandfathered in stipulation for the overall sale. Kennedy is not a creative. Kennedy does not know the lore. In fact, she has gone out of her way to declare her disdain for it. The decades of creative position outside of the initial 2 trilogies and Clone Wars simple doesn’t count, even though there are fan favorites and intriguing stories told in that now ambiguous mire. Kennedy seems to want to erase what Star Wars was and elevate what it’s going to be; What she is in charge of. It feels like she wants to be seen as equal to Lucas and that’s never going to happen.

Fix: Move Kennedy to a strictly executive position.

Get her out of the day-today. Effectively banish her to oblivion and install someone to take up that Kevin Feige roll. Maybe the cat that is in charge of Star Wars TV, Dave Filoni. You need someone who knows the lore and has a respect for it. Kennedy is neither of those things. That chip on her shoulder from years of being dismissed by the creatives at Lucasfilm has her literally dismantling everything the fans love because she hates it. I understand she has a contract but the fact that she gave Ryan Johnson a trilogy worth of Disney bucks after the way Last Jedi went, is very telling of where her head is. Basically Kathleen Kennedy needs to be removed from her responsibilities of the Day-to-Day of the Star Wars machine. She is the biggest problem. Literally everything wrong with this franchise begins and ends with her.

Problem: Rey

I don’t have a huge problem with Rey but i understand why everyone else does. Rey is mad OP for no other reason that “female empowerment” which is ludicrous because one of the strongest females ever set to film in Leia, is literally IN the same movie where Rey is introduced! How do you f*ck up the evolution of the next generation so hard when the blueprint is wlking around the set with you? Gender politics aside, i’ll get to that in a minute, Rey is more a prop that a character. We don’t know anything about her. At all. She’s super good at everything she attempts with no explanation. Like, a few throwaway lines here and there would fix the narrative laziness about her easily. “How can you fly this ship so well?” “I’ve been on Jakku my entire life. I’ve had time to study.” This exchange makes the fact Rey can fly the Falcon plausible. “How do you fight so well?” “i can kind of feel the flow of battle. I told you i can take care of myself.” This establishes Rey has a sense for battle that can’t be explained, ie. The force.Of course, this doesn’t explain how she bested Kylo or embarrassed Luke with a stick but it plants seeds for the real fix.

Fix: Rey HAS to be a Skywalker.

Not a Solo. Not a clone. Luke’s kid, specifically. Anything less will go down like glass with the fans. I think that’s where JJ was going when he wrote the treatment for these films. Objectively, that’s where it had to go. Star Wars is a Skywalker story. You can do so much with that line. Hell, the Expanded universe, f*cking Legends now i guess, did a wonderful job with all of it. Rey needs to be the child that Luke had in secret. Maybe those junkers stole her. Maybe he gave her away to keep her safe. In order to save that character, Rey NEEDS to be a Skywalker. This would only elevate her in the mythos, not belittle her accomplishments. But, again, Rey is a Kennedy creation. She can’t be linked to Skywalker in anyway because she’s hers and not his. This mentality is a mistake and it’s crippling one of the most compelling aspects of this brand new take on the franchise.

Problem: Gender Politics

Oh, this can of worms is about to get all over the place. So i get what Kennedy wanted to do. Star Wars is an inherently masculine story. It’s a story of fathers and sons. A patriarchy is strangling freedoms under threat of planetary destruction with the biggest phallus replacement in the history of cinema, until Awakens gave it some viagra for their climax. Throwing in a little estrogen would go a long way to level of this testosterone party. That makes sense and, like i stated above, Rey has potential. The community isn’t against female warriors. Look at Ahsoka. Ma started on a rocky introduction. By the time Clone Wars ended, she was held in the same air as Vader, Luke, Leia, and Solo. Ahsoka is literally my second favorite character in all of the mythos, after Vader. And that’s not counting any of the ancillary characters. Bastila Shan and Mira Jade immediately come to mind. Hell, Chelli Aphra has become one of my favorite characters! What these cats all have in common is the fact that they are well written characters with earned strength. None of these women are mary-sues who come across as more of a OC self insert than a proper Star Wars protagonist. None of these characters are plot derailing distractions with no substance or agency other than to save Finn, robbing him of his moment because “muh love.” Rose Tico. I’m talking about Rose Tico. Why is Rose Tico?

Fix: Tone that sh*t down.

It’s fine to have gender politics in these movies. They are political animals. It’s that the execution is scathing which, in turn, is alienating the community. “The force is female”? Really? Did that even need to be said, let alone printed on a shirt and paraded about while offending long time fans with your dismissal of their very valid concerns? There were, of course, asshole in that chorus. Hell, they might have been the loudest. But just because i have a critique about your movie, doesn’t make me sexist or chauvinist. It means that there are very real issues with character and narrative development that needs to be addressed. It means that, if i can see these flaws, they are very visible. That means a lot of people are seeing the same things i am because they are there. I don’t hate women. I don’t hate the female-led direction of this new trilogy. I hate bad stories and these, so far, are bad stories. Stop using your feminism as a shield to legitimate critique and fix the goddamn movies!

Problem: Direction

These cats, on the sword of Kennedy, have gone through a lot of directors, man. of these first movies, a little over half have had a director change in the middle of production. Hell, Solo had their directors changed because Kennedy fired them over that Droid, L3-37. Apparently, that was a caricature of Kennedy, herself. The directors, the cats who made Lego Movie and Spider-Verse, thought it was funny. Kennedy didn't so she fired them, even though their movie was 3/4 finished.Rogue One suffered a similar fate but that was more Kennedy hated the film and it was managed poorly so Tony Gilroy “directed reshoots” but it’s widely known he shot just under the amount that would give him a director credit. And then there’s the directors promised movies, who lost them before they even started production. Trank, i’m looking at you.

Fix: Vet your visionaries better.

I don’t understand why this is a such a problem for Star Wars when Disney owns the blueprint for this sh*t in Marvel Studios. Feige hires cats you wouldn’t expect and let’s them create to their strengths.The Russos have given us the strongest films in the MCU and Winter Soldier is, in my opinion, their Dark Knight. Taika Waititi literally saved the entirety pf the Thor franchise and is positioned to be the first in MCU history to get a fourth installment. Edgar Wright was tapped for Ant-Man but in a rare misstep by Feige, walked away. Instead, they hired Peyton Reed but had enough respect for what Wright brought to the table, that they used his screenplay and gave him credit for it. Kennedy has extended no such courtesies. It’s like she doesn’t make movies with any respect for the material but makes the movies she’s always wanted to make but couldn’t. It’s like a bunch of sporadic ideas that are all over the place. You can’t make a coherent, interconnected, cinematic universe by throwing sh*t at the wall and seeing what will stick. hat’s what the DCEU did and we’ve seen how that has fared.

[annasdesignblog-blog]

Week 7 - Practitioner Meet Up

I have originally planned on visiting a studio, as this is the type of environment I would ideally like to work in after graduating at university, so seeing what one works like would be a good experience. Unfortunately, trying to visit a studio for even a maximum of 20 minutes had proven to be very difficult and I didn’t receive many responses from studios willing to let me come visit due to them being very busy. I have decided to instead look into freelance and individual designers as a contrast to studio work – I have received some responses this time, and the work of one artist in particular caught my eye. After a week or so of planning, I have met up with a local Derby graphic designer on the 14th March. 

The designer was Kieran Harrod, an independent Creative Director and Graphic Designer, practicing design since 1999 – his website can be viewed here: https://derby.graphics/. Kieran was very modest and very polite all throughout our meeting; we have met at Rask on Sadler Gate, a coffee shop right next to Sadler Gate studios where Kieran can be found every Thursday using the studio space. 

Sadler Gate Studios, Bauman Lyons photography.

The meeting consisted of me asking questions I have prepared, and a general chat and advice at the end. I have started by asking Kieran about his background and how he got into the industry:

How did you get into the industry?  

“I have studied design at Chesterfield College late 80s; at that time, Chesterfield College was the place in Derbyshire to study design. I have then got into University of Staffordshire to study Multimedia Graphic Design, however I wasn’t exactly happy with my experience as I found my lecturers not very helpful or useful. I then worked a couple of jobs, and then had a breakthrough working at UMC Group Ltd as a Mac Operator, designing brochures, websites, banners, posters and exhibitions as part of a small in house marketing team. After about 2 years, I got promoted to a Marketing Manager, managing three other team members and gaining new responsibilities. After that, I was a Writer for LogoCurious.us, which is a collection of images, links and articles relating to logo design and branding - it's a collection of my thoughts on logo design from around the world. After this, I became a freelance designer due to starting a family as I wanted something more flexible and to fit my schedule around theirs.”

Can you tell me more about being a freelance designer?

“Before deciding to go independent, I have created a business place which I learnt about on a course I did – “Expanding Enterprise” – which looked at finances, cash flow, taxes etc. They made me calculate how much I need to earn, my cost and made me also think about how I would go about getting my business. I have a website which is my main platform to get business – half of my clients come from this, whilst the rest are word of a mouth and a good reputation. Getting your name out there is so important, and a good reputation really helps that. I find that I have more responsibilities being a freelance designer in comparison to when I worked in house – I have to arrange meetings, market and promote myself, invoicing and the actual work itself. When I have the time, I do school visits to try to get them to be interested in graphic design as well as doing visits like this one with you today – this is something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I weren’t freelance. So I’d say freelance has definitely much more flexibility, however the pay isn’t constant so that’s a big factor to consider when going freelance.”

How do you go about designing something as a freelance designer?

“I always start off my researching the company I am working for and create an aesthetic I want to work with based on that research. The research can either be through the company’s website or I will call them up and ask them to tell me more about the company that way. I then start to think about design – I never Google already existing logos as I want to create something unique, and I don’t like being literal in my design. I design using my style of geometric shapes and modernist influences; I’m not very illustrative. I then create a couple of mock-ups, and it goes from there – depends on how much the client has paid what I do next”. 

Do you have constant business / work flow?

“I only do work that’s worth my time and the money in all honesty. Many of my customers come back, so I have regulars who require new designs. I have a good relationship with them – they respect my opinion when it comes to design, and in return I give them my time and an outcome that they are satisfied with.”

Do you mainly work digitally or do anything by hand?

“I always start any ideas by sketching. I also sketch when I can when I’m out and about – I carry my bullet journal on me always as I also take notes there too of things I have to do as a reminder.”

Kieran has then shown me his current bullet journal and the rough sketches and ideas in it.

Do you mainly work with Derby based companies?

“Mostly yes, but I do work all around Derbyshire, as well as having worked with companies from Nottinghamshire and Staffordshire previously too. It’s easier if a company is quite local as I like to meet up in person to talk ideas out with the customer and I can become valuable to them this way as they can see me as an expert on all things design.”

Do you keep in touch with the design community in Derby?

“A little bit in all honesty – I don’t think I network as much as I should. I talk to the designers who I share the studio space with – when I work at Sadler Gate studios, I get to socialise with many designers as the studios are so busy; it’s a hub of creative people. You really do get results from networking though, so perhaps this is one of my goals for the future – to network more.”

What do you do when you’re not designing?

“I mainly focus on my family as I have four children. We enjoy playing with Lego together and watching things about Lego on YouTube. I also love board games, and encourage my kids to play too. I am a keen podcast and radio listener too.” 

What is your favourite project you’ve worked on?

“Skyeland Soft Play Logo & Branding project I worked on (the full project can be viewed here: https://derby.graphics/portfolio_page/skyeland-soft-play-logo-branding/). 

However, I didn’t charge enough for the amount of work I’ve produced for them! The company came to me with a firm idea, like most companies do, which I followed but gave my own insight to achieve the final logo.”   

What are you currently working on, if anything? 

“I am currently working with Corporate Hire company from Derby who are all about hiring audio and visual equipment. I am creating branding for them, which is what I like – I prefer creating a whole branding identity, instead of just a logo as I like getting to know the brand. I am also creating artwork for a DJ, based in Derby again, that would go on Spotify and iTunes, a brochure for an embroidery business, and branding for a security company. I normally have multiple projects to work on rather than just one, and I prioritise my customers based on the money they paid as different amount of money gets different attention I pay to the customer.”   

What are your plans for the next couple of years, if any? 

“I’ve been freelance for years now and my biggest stress is time, so to solve this I have been thinking about expanding and hiring more staff to work alongside me but this would require starting from scratch again as I would have to create a whole new studio, and even company perhaps. However, I would need more money for this so either getting more business or charging more, which isn’t exactly what I want to do though. This is an idea for when my kids grow up more and start high school, so maybe in like 4 or 5 years.”   

Are you satisfied with your business?

“Yes – I am very lucky I get to design everyday as it’s something I love. I don’t like the invoicing, tax etc side of it, but apart from that I love everything else. It can be difficult money wise sometimes when I have no business or don’t get paid much, however those are rare. The work hours vary which I like again as it’s exciting and never dull.”    

After about an hour of me finding out about Kieran’s work and being a freelance designer in general, we had a general chat about design and Kieran was keen on finding more about my design and university experience so projects I’ve worked on, currently am working on and what I want to do in the next couple of years. This led to Kieran giving me loads of tips and advice on putting a portfolio, as he himself has hired people before and judged many portfolios: 

Include around 6 really good pieces of work you are happy with 

This work has to make you stand out – so don’t include projects that are very common, such as album covers

Make the effort to meet the person hiring or visiting the company in person as it makes a very good impression – shows that you care, and your work will definitely be looked at 

Show a variety of work if you consider yourself versatile

Be accurate always – no spelling errors, bad quality prints etc.     

When I voiced my concern about not having much work I actually want to include in my portfolio, Kieran suggested I should look at briefs online or do some branding for a charity to boost my portfolio – he strongly said not to do fake briefs, as those simply don’t work as your work isn’t ‘real’.  

After about an hour and a half at Rask, Kieran invited me to Sadler Gate studios, for a quick visit to see what the workspace looked like – the workspace was made up of one room, with a large window, a desk in the middle of the room and a book shelf on the other side. It was really spacious, clear and neat.

This meet up was really useful to me as I now understand what being a freelance designer is looks like, and that it is actually more than just about having more free time, being flexible and only designing – there are many more responsibilities included as you are managing yourself.   

Action Plan:

The portfolio advice has inspired me to research what makes a strong portfolio, and what I would need to show if I were to make one to go into my preferred areas of Graphic Design – so branding and editorial. This will be really useful to know as this is vital when applying for jobs.

[fukette]

Lifehacks On Living The Best Life (And Being Dumb As All Fuck)

Today, I was on the verge of tears when I realized that I had eaten the last of the Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Crackers a few days ago. I was close to tears a few minutes later, but now out of relief, when I saw that my cat, Catty Mayonnaise, had stolen a pack and hidden it behind her litter box. Before you ask, I have no regrets about consuming the crackers because one, it was packaged and safe from all the kitty poop, and secondly, it was fucking Honey Maid. I'm not about to toss that shit aside because it spent an indeterminable amount of time next to what was, essentially, someone's toilet. This anecdote illustrates that what I lack in personal standards, I more than make up for in self-awareness. And right now my spidey sense is telling me that I might be dumb as all fuck.

That's no hyperbole. I literally mean all of the fucks in existence.

It doesn't mean I can't enjoy life, though. Quite the contrary, my mental deficiency means I can walk through each day unencumbered with existential neurosis or the troubles of the world around me. My concerns are exclusively limited to food, fucking, and getting caught up on past episodes of Criminal Minds. Anything outside of that tends to get relegated to the "Fuck All" file cabinet gathering dust in my head and stay there. Being the benevolent man I am thugh, I figure why should I be the only one to enjoy an existence of simple pleasures like "My fork is cold. Should I warm it up in this electrical outlet?" or "Condoms? No thank you; I'd rather live in a townhouse." So here's my extensively researched guide on how to live the best life with an IQ that can be measured with Legos:

People that tell you to wipe your ass after every bowel movement are all liars. Work smarter not harder. All you need is a generous spritzing of Axe Body Spray and a nonchalant demeanor that says "No, my asshole does not feel like the surface of a thousand burning suns."

Police cannot legally arrest you if you loudly sing Bad and Boujee while they read you your Miranda Rights. (To be honest, if they fail with the Miranda Rights, I'm not sure what to do if they decide to pivot to either the Carrie, Samantha, or Charlotte Rights.)

Nigerian Royalty Requesting Your Personal Financial Information + You Refusing Said Request = Racism

If your going to make mobile versions of porn sites then maybe you shouldn't act so self-righteous when you see someone masturbating on public transportation.

Property Brothers. I fucks with this show.

Instead of wasting money on flavored/obnoxiously scented condoms, save yourself some time and just purchase a 3 Musketeers bar (preferably mint flavor, but that's just my opinion.) and repurpose the wrapper. It's a level of recycling most people never think of so, yeah, you're welcome.

Sitting motionless in a windowless van while parked outside of an elementary school is only frowned upon if the van appears unfriendly to the children. Try placing kid-friendly decals on the vehicle like "free candy," "delicious ice-cream," or "snitches get stitches."

That cute girl you were chatting with while waiting in line at the coffee shop just gave you her number so, obviously, now's a great time for an unsolicited dick pic.

I don't care if she loves you unconditionally and provides you with invaluable companionship. If she doesn't get down with Lil Uzi Vert, then tell that trick to kick rocks.

Sure you COULD go to a doctor to see about that growth on your genitals OR, and listen to me here, you could just pretend it's not there and keep it moving. I mean, it's the same strategy I use when someone farts around me and, what do you know, soon enough the smell disappears completely. Foolproof.

Stay away from ingesting too much water. Fish shit in it.

Guns don't kill people. People who want to kill people with frightening efficiency kill people...with the use of guns.

Watching porn is a great way to learn what is typically expected during sex. Rubbing the vagina like a coked out DJ, liberal use of spit, seemingly uncomfortable instances of reverse cowgirl, and, of course, matching the 15 minutes of fellatio she gave you with 30 seconds of half-hearted oral reciprocation is all that normal people do. Anything else will just result in your partner silently judging your abilities and, by extension, your worth as a person.

Don't be a follower. Break away from the pack and do something remarkably original at least once in your lifetime. Get a Boost Mobile phone.

Is flame retarded offensive to both the mentally handicapped and ay people? If so, then I think a sternly worded the Hanes underwear department is in order.