#like where?! where are these ace and aro characters just there for the sake of not having gay characters I keep hearing about?!

[laurenfoxmakesthings]

Folks, if ace and/or aro representation were the 'less queer and therefore more palatable for straight audiences' rep as some misinformed allos think it is...

WOULDN'T THERE HAVE BEEN A FUCKTON MORE ACE AND ARO REP IN MEDIA BY NOW?!

[elexuscal]

Bi-Ace Laurence and Aro Roland

Okay so a few weeks ago I made a comment about viewing Jane Roland/Laurence as queer, and @sere-allwehaveisnowasked me to dig into it. This is a slightly cleaned up version of the ramble I gave on the Temeraire discord, just on the off-chance folks from the broader fandom might find it interesting!

So I can see how that description of Laurence/Roland might seem surprising at a first glance! They're an M/F pair, and obviously that lends itself to a very traditional heterosexual reading. But that's not the only possible reading, at all!

"Queer" is a catchall term and an umbrella term, which means there has been a lot of quibbling over what exactly 'counts' is queer. "Is X queer?" is a Discourse repeated ad nauseam; replace X with 'ace people', 'aro people', 'polyamorous people', 'kinksters', 'furries', etc.... It gets really hard to draw firm lines. Which is why I generally subscribe to te definition of queer as "anything which transgresses the social norms in the broadly overlapping space of sexuality, romance, and gender" So on a base level, you have the fact that in the time and setting of the Temeraire series, Jane Roland is breaking So Many gender norms. She's a soldier, masculine, heavier set and with facial scarring. Under some more flexible definitions of queer, almost any sexual and/or romantic relationship she entered into would be inherently queer due to how she transgresses the boundaries. That said, while I do find something compelling there, that alone isn't really why I see Jane/Will as queer, since while Roland might be transgression within the text, to the average 21st century reader, she's not nearly so shocking.

For me, it's much more about how Laurence/Roland fits much much more into broader queer readings of both their characters, notably the bi (and to a lesser extent, ace) experience for Laurence, and the aromantic reading for Roland.

I very much do read Laurence as a bisexual guy who never really realised he was bisexual, partly because his attraction genders were fairly equal, and both fairly low. In book one, he doesn't really seem personally that attracted to the idea of a traditional marriage-- it's just sort of What One Does, and he does like the idea of the companionship a marriage with offer. He's friends with Edith, their engagement makes sense, and he doesn't have any other option that's more appealing, so... Why not? But equally, while he's disappointing to lose that future, he's not heartbroken either.

Specifically, I think what attracts Laurence is military competence. (Or maybe not quite military per say, but certainly something adjacent. Being in the field, getting your hands dirty). And he'd never really twigged to that because... All the women he had met until then were Society Ladies(tm). They were divorced from that entire sphere. And sure, Laurence saw it in men, but he didn't read it as sexual attraction, he just read it as admiration. (It can be hard to untangle the difference!)

But then he meets Jane. Who is feminine while also masculine. A woman who displays all these elements of military competence that Laurence is foremost drawn to. And I really do think that's the Rosetta stone for realising his attraction to men.

I also think there's a really great ace reading of him getting back together with Jane for LoD? Not just that he apparently hadn't had any sex for the previous 3.5 books; that could equally be attributed to his depression and social isolation. But it's the way that encounter has less to do with him craving sex specifically, or craving romance, as him feeling the joy and relief of having regained Jane's trust.

As for Roland... Man I read her as aro, so bad. I can absolutely see the reading where she isn't inherently/naturally disinclined to romance, but basically taught herself to repress her desire for the sake of her career. And that's definitely compelling. But I see so much of someone who just doesn't really care about romance, doesn't really get what everyone else sees in it, and is just going to carry on without it.

And I just love that Roland/Laurence continues throughout the entire series, but doesn't end with them getting married and having kids or anything like that. They have this great fiends with benefits situation which is genuinely SO refreshing.

All of this I think dovetails deeper into my feelings about queerness in the Temeraire series as a whole. These books were published in a time where there was a huge push for greater gay representation (one we're still living through now), and I believe that was a big part of the analysis. And indeed, I think it's fair to examine and ask why there wasn't more of an explicit M/M representation in the story. But at the same time, a question I often grapple with as an a-spec person, is how do you depict the more 'subtle' queer identities? Especially ones like asexuality and aromanticism, which are defined by a lack of something? Especially in historical fiction, where it would be deeply weird to have the characters use modern terminology and bust out some pride flags. And I don't know if any of this was Novik's intentions or not; to a large extent, I don't care. But I do think there's a lot of stuff in this narrative that resonates with a lot of bi, asexual, and aromantic experiences, and that's really interesting to analyse.

[specterthief]

hello fellow fandom people on tumblr, i have a question as someone who is very autistic and has had a lot of conversations where i feel like there are miscommunications going on

talking purely about discussion of actual canon rather than headcanons, and specifically in terms of same-gender attraction (i.e. gay/lesbian/bi/pan/etc characters, just for the sake of simplicity in categories here, since conveying characters as trans/nb and aro/ace is a bit different, and trying to handle specifically separating out gay/lesbian characters and bi/pan/etc characters in one would also be messy):

i'd also be curious to know how old you are and what your main fandom(s) are (and what characters in those might fit this) if you feel like adding that in the tags as well, but no pressure!

[void-my-warranty]

hi void! if this doesn’t get lost in the ask box, i just wanted to say as an aro(ace) person, i wasn’t expecting soap being aromantic. just because you don’t see that kind of intentional “detail” in a fic and just thought there would be a twist somewhere where it was romantic the whole time. reading up i felt kind of embarrassed for not catching it until you said—about soap—

Typically he holds back from anything romantic, not for his sake, but for other people.

and it sort of hit me like a truck and i started crying because it sort of cut to the core of my experience of “wanting but not wanting,” being absolutely terrified of leading people on, but feeling really “left out” because you wish you could but you don’t want to. not necessarily “i’m broken”, but not being able to fit anywhere in a way that’s comfortable for everyone involved. it’s a very isolating “look but don’t touch” and johnny’s initial jealousy when simon tells him about reader is relatable in a way i’ve never told anybody

i was so blindsided seeing it in a fic, i really didn’t even think to consider it was genuine/intentional until you outright confirmed it and realized “oh this is about someone like me” and not just in a passing acknowledgment way. and seeing him starting to find his place in a kind of relationship that not just accommodates him but accepts him is extremely cathartic

being aro has been by far the hardest part of my identity to accept, and i’ve hurt multiple people trying to “force it” and seeing a character who knows this, been through it and will be happy without having to—

thank you, really genuinely thank you

My heart is right there with you on all those feelings. Living your life knowing that allowing people to love you will inevitably hurt them. That you have to enforce other people’s boundaries for them because you know people are too hopeful, even if you’re honest.

Feeling like a very lovable person, but having to ration the love you accept, and even having to reject love that feels good, to protect yourself in the long run. The paranoia of it. Having red flag sentences and phrases that you have your ears poked up for at all times, telling you someone is getting too attached.

I see you. I’m there with you. I’m writing this for you.

[1daroaceficfest]

Welcome to the 1D Aro/Ace Fic Fest! - Currently Posting!

A One Direction Fic Fest centred around all the identities on the aromantic and asexual spectrum

1D Aro/Ace Fest Round I - Masterpost

🩶 Listening to Intuition by lululawrence / @lululawrence = Louis/Harry - Zayn/Liam | 5K | Not Rated | fic post =

Now that Zayn was laying it all out like this, Louis got to wondering… could it be possible that he was never able to get a really good handle on what exactly aromanticism was because he’d never felt romantic attraction, and without that key piece, how could he possibly figure out what it truly meant to be lacking it? Louis has a good grasp of his own identity and how all the pieces of him fit together in his life as a queer man in a committed relationship with his partner. Or so he thinks until his favorite aroace TikTok creator shows him another possibility he may have previously overlooked.

🩶 I'd Rather You (Hold Me) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed = Zayn/Louis | 14K | Teen And Up | fic post =

He frowns when he hears the dial tone. By now, he knows just how many times the sound will come through, tinny on the speakers, before it clicks over to voicemail, and yet he still feels his heart trip over itself whenever the voice first comes through. “Hi, you’ve reached Zayn-” He sighs, rubbing at his forehead, where his headache always tends to bloom when he’s stressed. “Fuck’s sake,” he grumbles, disconnecting the call and resisting the childish urge to redial immediately, knowing that if Zayn’s not picking up now, he won’t no matter how much Louis bugs him. It’s just - this isn’t like them. It isn’t like Zayn to dodge his calls for days, not unless he’s seriously incapacitated or dead, but if that were the case, Louis would’ve heard. Because Louis is his emergency contact, for one, and both their families know how much they mean to one another. Someone would’ve called, if something had happened, unless Zayn was dead in his own house, and, oh God, what if Zayn’s dead in his own house and Louis has been mentally calling him a dickhead while he’s rotting on the bathroom floor? Spoiler: Zayn isn't dead. There is however, suddenly a baby.

🩶 a little, then suddenly by HoldingOnToChaos / @holdingontochaos = Louis/Harry | 34K | Explicit | fic post =

Written for the Aro/Ace Fest 2024. Prompt 12: Gray-Asexual (demisexual) Harry falls in love and gets attracted to his best friend Louis after fifteen years of friendship.

🩶 A ROad and A ROmance to self discovery by rockstarlwt28 / @rockstarlwt28 = Louis/Harry | 3K | General | fic post =

Louis Tomlinson, a motivational speaker for the LGBTQ plus community finds himself confronted with a student who is determined to derail his presentation. Reaching boiling point and landing in hot water, Louis seeks out a place of serenity. A welcomed presence of additional tranquillity and renowned first class student Harry Styles, accompanies him. Prompt: Louis creates a “guide” to aro/ace for a college presentation and Harry (who had been previously doubting his sexual orientation) realises that he might be aro/ace.....also bonus if you could make it an interactive presentation where there is this one asshole who is constantly arguing with Louis about this not being a sexuality and saying bullshit like 'sexual love is the only form of love' and 'you are just boring' but Louis gives witty comebacks and shuts him up. In the end, Harry and Louis have a chat in a library where Louis helps him with coming to terms with his sexuality.

🩶 It's Not That I Don't Want You by parmahamlarrie / @parmahamlarrie = Louis/Harry | 12,5K | Explicit | fic post =

It begins with a benign comment during a night in watching a show with his lovely boyfriend, Louis, and leads Harry to a months long journey to understand himself better. Will Harry figure out what makes him feel so different from everyone else? And will he find the courage to tell his boyfriend? Or a character study into Ace Harry with the most supportive boyfriend, Louis.

🩶 I Wish You Knew I Love You by SuperNoah / @super--noah = Louis/Harry | 7K | Mature | fic post =

When Harry and Louis met at 16 they instantly became best friends. They still are, even now as they're both finishing their master's at Manchester University, but Harry's jealous boyfriend is trying to drive a wedge between them. As Harry's relationship takes a turn for the worse Louis realises he's fallen in love with Harry. Will Harry stay with James? Or will his jealousy end them for good? Does Louis even have a chance with Harry if he ever becomes single? Demisexual/demiromantic Louis realises something massive about his feelings for his best friend, Harry, over Christmas. But Harry is with James and seems to be happy. Louis would never have a chance with Harry anyway. Harry likes sex and Louis doesn't, he never has and probably never will.

🩶 Just The Way You Are by enchantedlandcoffee / @enchantedlandcoffee = Louis/Harry | 780 | General | fic post =

"Do you miss it?" "Miss what, love?" He could hear the frown in Louis’ voice, and tried to subtly release soothing pheromones into the kitchen "You know...sex and all that." "Where's this coming from, Haz?" Or, the one where Harry confesses his worries, and Louis reassures him.

🩶 Somebody to Love (in the Right Way) by The_Halcyonic_Lachesist / @chai-hat-tea = Louis/Harry | 21K | Mature | fic post =

He fell on his bed, happy tears flowing from his eyes. For the first time, he felt seen. He felt valid. He felt good within his skin. He wanted to dance with joy, for he finally found the answers he didn’t know he needed. Or a story about discovery, acceptance, and happily ever afters.

🩶 Stronger Than the Tide by haztobegood / @haztobegood = Louis & Harry | 3,3K | General | fic post =

The time Louis had spent talking with Harry in the cave had flown by. He was still unsure where the time had gone. Maybe it was because this was the first real connection Louis had made in years. Love and sex did not interest Louis, and it became harder to find good friends. It was different with Harry. Their conversation flowed effortlessly without pressing for more. Despite the hours they spent together in the cave, Louis wanted to keep talking, to share more of himself, and to learn more about Harry. He hoped their paths would cross again soon.

🩶 Let Your Tears Fall (No I Won't Judge You) by LiveLaughLoveLarry (SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFic) / @loveislarryislove = Louis/Harry | 7,9K | Explicit | fic post =

“I want to feel good," Harry says. "I want you to feel good. I just… I don’t know what that looks like.”  Louis nods. “That’s fair,” he says. “Always a bit of a learning curve, figuring out what you like and what you don’t.” He rubs his chin. “What if we just… talk through it? Instead of doing it?”  Harry blinks. “What do you mean?” he says. “I don’t – I just don’t know what-” “I know,” Louis says. “It’s okay.” He brushes his hand down Harry’s cheek, soft and gentle. “I can start,” he says. “Tell you about what I imagine us doing together. And anytime you feel like something isn’t right – you can stop me, and we can figure out a different path.” Harry nods slowly. “Okay,” he says. “I can try.” Four times Harry cries during sex. And four times Louis is right there beside him, giving him all the comfort and support and validation he needs.

If you have any questions feel free to reach out via ask or send an email to 1daroaceficfest@gmail.com

[prince-liest]

Don't mind me getting on my soapbox for a moment... a lot of this musing is admittedly for the sake of my own processing of this topic, re: aroaceness. Read at your own peril! <3

I'm generally a very "ship and let ship" kind of person, but I think I would definitely append a little caveat of, like, "As long as you're not being actively invalidating and detrimental to others" to that. Which is a delightfully vague statement that can be interpreted practically any way, I know, hahaha.

In the case of this particular post I've just been thinking about how, like... seeing an aroace character like Alastor get written into dozens upon dozens of PWPs (including ones that don't even touch on the subject of his aceness at all) is really not something that I personally find to be hurtful or offensive. It's just smut for the sake of smut, of a character people want to see awful, sexy things done to (or doing). Valid! I vibe with you! More people should just write the PWPs they want to see in the world!

But on the other hand, I've several times seen this very particular type of art (usually it's a comic, but admittedly I haven't been reading very many Hazbin Hotel fics so maybe it's there, too) where Alastor is slotted into the "methinks the lady doth protest too much" trope. As in, he's expressing strong feelings about a character (usually Vox or Lucifer, sometimes Angel Dust) to someone, probably Rosie, and the person he's confiding to is some variant of, "Oh, silly Alastor, you're obviously in love!" And then he denies it, says that the very idea disgusts him, and the character titters to themselves about how he's so naive in the matters of romance or whatever.

And it's, like.

The "strong feelings" in question are almost always frustration/annoyance/disgust, and him being like, "Nnnno, I just hate his person" is treated like a silly and naive misunderstanding of his own feelings because obviously he's in love. Please imagine that Alastor was a female character who was established to be a lesbian. Now examine how that suddenly makes this scene feel.

(Also, Rosie being the go-to for this is a little frustrating when she's the one who, in canon, explicitly says that she wouldn't make that assumption of him.)

There's such a chasm of difference between how I see people wanting to ship Alastor for reasons of "I just want to!" vs folks who engage with him being aroace in ways that are infantilizing and invalidating. There are so many people out there - not just aro/ace people, but anyone who's not exclusively into the standard type of person they should be into at the time society deems they should be into them, which is most queer people and even many cishet folks - that have been told that exact kind of thing in real life. It reads like something out of a compulsory heterosexuality guidebook, and it actively makes it harder to leave the closet or even realize that you're in one at all.

So I guess it just feels frustrating to see it get made into a punchline, especially by folks who are shipping queer ships. I genuinely can't wait until fandom society advances to the point of consistently treating aro/acespec folks as queer instead of Queer Lite (TM), because let me tell you, ime the comphet experience and the amato/allonormativity experience are in fact nigh-identical except for how they're treated within online communities. There's a reason the pan -> gay -> ace pipeline is a thing.

But, hey! We're already doing way better than we were in 2012!

[marvelandponder]

My sister's asexual, so we have a lot of conversations about what the difference is between a close friendship and a romantic relationship when sex isn't a factor in either of them. And there's really not much of a difference at all, or the difference is a lot smaller than someone would think? So it's absolutely fascinating to see the other side of that - this quasi-aromantic dynamic between Twilight and Sunset in Eros. What's the difference between Twilight and Sunset having a friendship where they have sex, and a romantic relationship? There's not much of a difference - the love is still there either way, the sex is still there, the friendship is still there.

I absolutely adore this ask in so many ways. First of all, love that sisterly support and fascinating discussions!!! I think you'll be pleased with chapter 2 on Friday is all I can say there.

Bevin is aroace, happily single by choice after several years of not knowing aro or ace were thingd you could be, and I'm bisexual and demiromantic, happily partnered currently with a guy I love (and in the past, had experiences of going from friends to partners). Needless to say, Bevin and I have had some interesting discussions about what romantic love even is if you're not someone who devalues friendship for the sake of romance being the Most Important Thing!

I don't want to spoil the two chapters ahead, so I'll just speak to what you've already read: Sunset and Twilight have just entered some super ambiguous territory. I love that you're already thinking this way because I could imagine many readers assuming that because they kissed, it's simple from here, right? They're a couple! They both know what that means - and could only ever mean one thing, right???

I felt like Twilight's lack of confidence in her friendship and romance abilities combined with Sunset's personal hangups around pursuing Twilight when she's vulnerable made for a way to introduce that ambiguity in while hopefully still staying in character.

This is the world where friendship is magic. So, what does that mean for romance? What happens when two friends basically enter into what some people might call a situationship? What's the difference between them as partners, them as best friends, and them in this undefined in-between space?

The thing with Eros is that even if a reader isn't caught up with Empathy for the Devil, they know the answer to will they?/won't they?

Clearly, in the first scene of the story, they will. That's not where the narrative tension comes from when we're reading in the past! These characters have questions -- that I think the story wants to let the reader ask themselves too -- and the reasons why Sunset and Twilight in particular are asking these questions are the focus.

All that to say: I love where you're head's at and am so stoked to see your reaction to chapters 2 and 3 as they come out! (Still going to respond in full to your chapter 1 comment! Just got busier over the weekend than expected haha)

[just-antithings]

can I rant a bit ? Feel free to ignore it if it's not something that alignes with the blog

Has anyone else noticed this new thing where Antis are really obsessed with canon ?

I feel like shipping for fun isn't allowed anymore it has to be canonicaly accurate or you'll get dms of people reminding you that it isn't accurate to canon it doesn't even have to be a ship with taboo themes or anything it just has to be fanon

I absolutely hate the new wave of this character is *some random sexual orientation* you can't ship them with this other character

Maybe I'm old but it's the same thing homophobic people in fandom used back then to justify bullying people for shipping gay ships

This character is straight you can't ship them with this same sex character

What antis are saying (I don't know if they are intentionally doing it or not) is that now that we have represention we don't need to ship non canon ships anymore witch is stupid people ship for fun not for representation and 90 percent of the media is straight so we aren't allowed to ship anything anymore (my picky self could never I need variety)

It's kinda stupid but I just want to ship radiodust without Antis dming me "gentle reminder that Alastor is aroace so you shouldn't ship him with anyone or sexualize him and that your taking represention from aro ace people by doing so"

Like I'm aroace but I mostly write romantic dynamics because I like them , when I tell them this they accuse me for lying , and hey I don't care about them I block all of the time it could be death threats for gods sake but it's annoying as a mosquito bite

I just want two dudes to kiss leave me alone antis

I have particler beef with asexual antis most of them are just plain anti sex and give asexuals a bad name and this is coming from someone who hates sex , me not wanting to fuck is a me problem people being horny on the in appropriate places is their problem as long as I'm out of it I'm fine

how can they spout the same thing as conservatives and still think they are the good guys is beyond me

Antis are really stupid

.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

I guess they thing that annoys me when it comes to She-Ra couples is not exaclty that it have too many couples but that they don't really make sense most of the time.

A lot of shows have a lot of canon couples, but most of the time they make sense and have some sorta of build up and development. Like in Harry Potter, it makes sense Hermione geting together with Roney, in Demons Slayer it makes sense Nezuko getting with Zenitsu, those are couples who are build to be together (honestly in the movies especifically Hermione and Rony are like, the only couple that had development).

But in She-Ra is like they make those couples so that some character don't end up single, like why does Lonnie have to be in a polycule with Rogelio and Kyle even tho she never showed interest in any of them? Why is Mermista and Sea Hawk a thing even tho Sea Hawk is a freaking annoying pyromaniac? Why Bow and Glimmer are a thing even tho they never had any chemistry and are so freaking boring together?

This is some Chris Chan levels of writing, every character have to be together regardless of whatever sense that makes (if you don't know who he is, basically he made the Sonichu meme and every character on the comic got together because he wanted a girlfriend). Is like in Boruto where all the cast started to date each other and most of them didn't make any sense

yeah, for a show that's about queer representation, they sure left out ace and aro representation. and even allo people sometimes choose to stay single. not everyone NEEDS a romantic partner.

in the end, spop really didn't do anything too progressive because they still valued amatonormativity over good character arcs. most of the platonic relationships were pushed aside for the sake of romance, and people who showed absolutely no romantic interest toward each other were suddenly in love (*cough* glimbow and scorfuma *cough*).

and the BFS suddenly included catra, just because she was now adora's girlfriend. all these allies and people who genuinely cared about adora, glimmer and bow, and yet the only person worthy of being in their friend group is the war criminal who tortured them for fun.

and it really sucks that the one of the very few canon queer polycules we have in media is.. a neurodivergent-coded queer kid, and his bullies. if they really wanted a good polycule, they could have gone with the BFS. but a lot of these were just for brownie points imo. they didn't really care about GOOD representation, they just wanted to cram in as much representation as possible.

[physalian]

So, I’ve written posts utterly baffled by writers who think tackling the intimate nuances and complexities of minorities/ disabilities/ neurodivergences that they don’t have based on ego and research is just easy and no one will notice. But like… there aren’t rules for any of these demographics. All aces don’t think the same way, that’s why there’s like 20 different specific labels under the ace/demi umbrella.

But the reason I don’t think anyone can get by on research alone if this character’s quirk (for simplicity’s sake) is the whole plot and their defining feature is this: There is no ‘default’ person and the 50s-esque model citizen was a caricature. Odds are somebody isn’t “perfectly normal” just with one little outlier trait. We’re all different mixes and blends so saying “I’m gonna write a gay dude, I read this one blog by a gay dude and I’m an expert” is just. No.

This is also assuming that it’s realistic for your character to be absolutely certain about themselves and can diagnose or label themselves with medical accuracy. We’re all just vibin’, you know? Some might, and kudos to them, still wierd to so confidently write something you researched like cramming the night before a final.

Like, if you tell me you wrote an ace, and you yourself are straight or simply not ace and have no ace friends or relatives and just thought it would be cool, but your book is an intense deep-dive into asexuality, I’d bet very good money that it is not, in fact, a deep dive into asexuality, just your extrapolation based on a modicum of research and your own biases.

You’re missing out on so much personal context. I’m ace. Also, possibly aro? But also unofficially diagnosed as autistic and I can’t get a real diagnosis because reasons. And everyone is different so I don’t know where the boundary lies between “this is an autistic thing” and “this is an ace thing” and “this is an aro” thing. You, intrepid author, can’t expect to articulate that if a real person living with it can’t.

You can’t articulate it, because I can’t articulate it, and I’m probably contradicting myself all over the place in a giant game of mental Twister. Like. Romance sounds great, but I’m also fiercely independent and am too used to doing everything alone to actually picture being a healthy team and not having to carry it like groupwork in high school. That image just does not compute.

Or, romance sounds great, but I can’t love you the way you expect and odds are I’m not going to want to sleep with you… but I’ll watch your favorite TV show with you and I’ll buy you that box of candy that you probably forgot you mentioned wistfully wanting last week and I’ll make sure the fridge is stocked with your favorite snack and I’ll do the driving and I’ll text you memes and funny pictures and song recommendations to make you smile and I’ll do 100 other things desperately trying to make up for the guilt of both wanting you to find me attractive, but not actually finding you attractive, but it's actually finding the effort I make and the choices within my power that I want you to find attractive and not 'nice ass' or whatever, of wanting you around and wanting love, but not wanting sex and I guess if you cheat but it's "just sex" I have to deal because you've got "needs" and you're "normal" and I'm lucky to have you around without putting out. While simultaneously daydreaming about an imaginary person who doesn't expect those 100 other things done from guilt, but I got bills to pay and can't be selfish and, well, that person doesn't exist.

But sure, your ace is gutwrechingly realistic because they're an android or an alien and are incapable of a sex drive anyway and not human because, what? All humans have a sex drive, you donut. You just haven't met the right person yet.

No one is just one thing in isolation and otherwise “perfectly normal”. The arrogance and naivety it takes from so many writers who think this can’t be shocked when the negative feedback comes in. Write inclusively. Do not write the deeply personal struggles of a life you did not live, that someone reading your book can look at and think, wow, I can’t believe how wrong they got it. Do I expect to read a perfect copy of myself in someone else's ace charcater? No. Every ace is different, but there's the "ace" flag for a reason.

[roseredsnow]

I've said this so often but saying it again and please reblog.

"But people headcannon straight people as lgbt+ without a problem, why is it an issue for aroaces"

Is such a bullshit argument.

Cause what character is actually confirmed straight? Genuinely name me one, not assumed because it's still the default, or because they like someone of a different gender.

But writers or an actor or said in the media and never retconned, confirmed straight.

That's the difference.

(Fuck Marvel for supporting genocide and I don't even ship it but the most common example)

Shipping Bucky and Steve doesn't erase anything because neither character is confirmed straight.

Shipping Yelena and Bucky or Kate blatantly ignores Devin Grayson (Also fuck her for how bad she screwed nightwing) confirming she's ace and clearly implying she's aro just didn't realise it needed to be specified too.

It ignores the line in Pale Little Spider #2 "I'm not a lesbian, Im not anything" and the entire trio of those comics where Yelena is baffled about the idea of sexual attraction.

(And don't you dare tell me that's out of context I've read it multiple times I know the context).

It also ignores other aroace characters that have had their identity erased for the sake of plot. Jughead Jones and Shatterstar to name two, I've even seen a fic shipping the High Republics beloved Vernestra Rwoh and while I don't believe her identity will be erased in Acolyte (cause HR fans will riot) it's still a major concern new fans will.

However shipping Vernestra is not comparable to shipping say Reath and Bell because neither character is confirmed straight.

This isn't even touching on the fact (cis) straight people don't experience discrimination for being queer (both from queer and non queer people) and have already got tons of rep to see themselves in.

[davekat-sucks]

I think trolls are cool but also dumb. If they were never created the fandom wouldn’t be perfect but definitely less worse. The existence of trolls is what practically caused all the two-faced tumblrina types of fans to flood in the first place. I have nothing against the making of a fucked up fantasy alien species for the sake of being fucked up and going WOW THAT IS FUCKED UP! and to entertain people and to acknowledge what they are witnessing is fucked up. What I dislike is how this shitty ass canonically all related incestuous bug species is what ironically brought in all the morally self-righteous psychopaths just because of their weird relationship traditions and trolls would be considered LGBT by human standards and have a binormative society and that is seen as so cool yet people still wanna debate bullshit like their headcanon of Vriska as a lesbian dealing with comphet which makes no sense. If anything aro-aces would be the only oppressed sexual group on Alternia yet for some reason I barely see that discourse when it comes to these people. Also the species being so incestuous that it puts hillbillies to shame probably even makes the idea of race coding even more dumb but then again the point of race coding is that its only meant to apply to characters where being a human race is impossible because of genetics so. At the very least if psuedo-human characters get to be aracial because they are the result of ectobiology then I see no reason why the same shouldnt apply to pseudo-trolls who are also ectobiology made.

Even when people put the trolls into familial roles like people see Karkat and Nepeta as siblings because of the SignlessxDisciple as their reason to not ship KatNep, doesn't mean they won't fuck because incest is seen as natural in the eyes of Alternia. Do the humans in the fandom wish to correct the trolls if that is the case? So much about respecting troll customs and beliefs. Fandom picks and chooses what trolls count as incest despite it's practically every troll ship like EriSol and Vrisrezi. According to HIveswap, Jadebloods would become celibate because upon turning into an adult, they would be sent alone off in space somewhere. I wonder what would happen if there was a different troll, lowblood or highblood, that would choose to avoid sex at all costs throughout their life. After all, this is the same planet that says if you don't fuck, you die. And remembering Alternia is a planet full of nothing but kids, it's a sick thought knowing that someone as young as THREE YEARS OLD would know how sex works and doesn't see anything wrong. And that's not even trying to go into age differences of trolls being partners in any quadrants. It's a surprise that with all these problematic topics and implications, people that are super sensitive to those topics still want to get into the series. Then again, same can be said about other media works in today's times like anime, video games, tabletop, and more. South Park has been around longer than Homestuck and it is part of "show is problematic but still draws in fujoshi tumblr fangirls".

[flustered-victorian-gentleman]

God I hate seeing character sexuality headcanons where it’s extremely clear that everyone who the OP doesn’t think is fuckable is in the aro/ace tier. Just saw a pokemon gym leaders one and it was JUST old men and Katy. Like be so serious right now. Even if you’re doing this unconsciously you’ve gotta be able to look at your finished product and think “hmm could there be a reason why no one under 50 is in the aroace category?” I don’t care if you’re not attracted to the older characters, but for gods sake at least be a little embarrassed that it’s THAT obvious your aroace slot is just a dumping ground for characters you can’t fathom being in a romantic or sexual relationship because of their appearance.

[h-didanart]

Bloodmoon can still love sprout/Jack-o-moon even if he's aoace he would just want hugs,cuddles or maybe a kiss you can still ship them and I've been shipping them for a while and made art of the goober's

Ps. Don't let the sams Fandom attack you for making ship's ok? You do you don't listen to them ok? Have a amazing day or night.

Meep

I know they can, I have them as friends in every au that’ll allow me to. They’re just— they are literally mirror opposites, how could I not play around with that?

And I understand that theoretically speaking Bloodmoon could be in a relationship with Jack even though I headcanon them as aroace, I understand I could do that and it technically would be fine. Thing is, I’ve seen how much this community tends to erase Moon’s aroaceness for the sake of ships, I don’t want to be that kind of person. I understand that ace and aro and aroace people can have partners if they want to, but that gets thrown around so much in here to invalidate the feelings of those who share the character’s identity….

I don’t want to be that person.

It’d be even weirder if I did given the fact that I myself was the one to apply the aroace identity to my Bloodmoons, why would I erase it like that?

I suppose this might be just me worrying too much about stuff, and who knows maybe I should just do whatever, maybe I should have one au where the twins aren’t aroace and are in a relationship. Who knows

I… sorry for the ramble, I guess I just have a lot to say on the topic huh?

I’m glad you at least are happy with the shipping, it’s great that you enjoy it and that it helps you be creative! So don’t let my weird view on shipping discourage you, ok?

Thank you, I hope you have a great [insert time here] as well

[spacerangersam]

Could you tell me more about some of your ocs???? (Only if you’re up for it tho)

I’m always down to gush about my ocs! But I do have a lot of them, especially with the story I'm currently working on, and I don’t always know what to say, so sorry if this is a bit all over the place. This isn’t even everyone, I left out a few like the main antagonist, Irene and a few other side characters for the sake of this not being essay length but yeah. Here are some of the main guys:

(also, unless otherwise specified, they're all welsh)

Simon Huw Taylor, 32, tenant of flat no. 6, he/they, bi and ace (maybe on the aro spectrum, but idk. It’s none of my business).

He’s the main character of my story, Where the Lost Souls Meet. He’s a pretty quiet guy who likes to keep to himself, much to his own detriment. He’s been travelling around all his life, never really interacting with people his own age, leaving him with mediocre socialising skills. He can see ghosts, has been able to since childhood, and is a mortician while doing psychic ghost stuff on the side. His mum could also see ghosts and she also did the ghost business, which is why he and his parents were moving around all the time, basically living in their van/hotels). To honour her, Simon uses her maiden name for ghost work (meaning his name is then Simon Huw Hughes, which I just thought was cute). She died a few years back, his father even earlier, leaving Simon the last of his family line and all alone in the world.

His whole life revolves around death, which isn’t healthy but Simon would rather die than go to therapy and actually address his problems, so it stays that way for a while. He does try to quit smoking though, so that’s something. He is also a liar. Dear god does he love to lie about everything and anything, to everyone. Well, I say loves to lie, he doesn’t really love it. He does it both to keep himself safe and to keep others from worrying about him. Honestly, he’s fine, he’s functional, and he definitely has family who loves him. Just don’t ask to meet his ‘sister’. He also tries to protect people by keeping a certain distance from them, not wanting to hurt them like he’s been hurt because of [REDACTED], which is why he kept moving around even after his mother died. But he desperately wanted top surgery and so stopped in this town with a well-known trans-safe doctor to get it done, and unfortunately for him landed in a manor turned flat filled with people who very much would like to be his friends, please.

He has no hope for the future, no plans, having a fairly pessimistic look on life because of [REDACTED], and is basically just waiting for the day he finally dies. Again, will he do anything about this? Maybe, eventually, at some point.

He doesn’t like / struggles to watch TV and movies, his ideal night involves doing puzzles and maybe a spot of reading, he loves puns and he’s a vegetarian. I love him and his terrible coping mechanism. Go king, communicate absolutely nothing and never let people share your burdens. 

Also, his neighbour dies in front of him during an argument one day, which isn't great, going on to haunt Simon in a distinctly violent fashion, which is the thing he's desperately trying to deal with in the story.

more losers under the cut

Charlie Tops, 35, tenant no. 5, he/him, trans bi+ace. He’s a very sweet guy, very open, with major himbo energy, just without the muscles. He makes the best tea and the worst coffee. He writes kid's books in the vein of Winnie the Pooh / Peter Rabbit, taking over the job after his grandfather passed, now writing them for his own daughter, Lottie. But Lottie’s getting older and losing interest in those types of books, and so he’s losing interest in writing them and having a mild panic over what he’ll do next. He’s kinda obsessed with taxidermies. His flat is quite literally filled with them and no one likes it, nobody wants to be in there, and the vibes are way off (except Will for, who thinks it’s very interesting, actually).

He’s deeply in love with Simon and they have a thing. An unexplained, deeply intimate thing that neither talk about, mostly because Simon can’t communicate for shit (which he feels deeply guilty about, and he keeps telling himself that he’ll break it off but can never quite work up to it), and Charlie’s worried if he asks, Simon will end it. He really struggles with Simon’s whole silent martyr ordeal even outside their thing because even if he doesn’t know the extent to which Simon is trying to hide his problems, he knows there is something being hidden, but again, is worried about pushing too hard and losing him completely. It’s messy, but they’ll work through it. 

He can’t see ghosts but does know about them, unlike the other Woodward tenants, and feels a bit left out /awkward about the whole thing. He had an amicable divorce from his wife Irene after he realised he was ace, she realised she was aro, and that they were both trans, the two staying friends and her staying on as the illustrator for his books. And as I mentioned earlier, he does have a daughter, Lottie.

William Isaiah Beaton, 30, tenant no. 7, he/him, gay, English. An archivist for the local museum who moves into the manor in chapter one, and comes off as a tough, rude ex-vet.  And that is true, to a certain extent. He is rude, and an ex-vet. But he wasn’t in the army for long, he got mowed down by a car on base like, two weeks after arriving, leaving him with a permanent injury to his leg. He feels he failed to live up to his father’s expectations, and in shame, never told the truth to his father about having to leave the forces. Will has… a lot of complicated feelings about that, and his relationship with his father, and his relationship with his religion. He works some of that last one out with help from Penny.

It’s a bit of a spoiler, but whatever- he can see ghosts. He doesn’t realise that’s what’s happening though and instead is fully convinced he’s just losing his mind, and that crash did irreparable damage to his head. Nah though, just ghosts. Has a guilty love of werewolf media and cake, and cares a lot about bugs and plants (he even ends up taking Simon’s plants off him, because Simon kills every plant he owns, without question). He has limited zero social skills and finds big groups overwhelming, but nevertheless, he will be dragged into this friendship group (if Penny has any say in it, at least). He came to Hangar for a reason, though he doesn’t say why.

He also definitely fancies Simon and has no idea how to handle that. It’s the first time he’s fancied a man (or at least, a man-adjecent person) who isn’t straight, and that coupled with the fatc Simon actually seems to like him is just a lot for him to process. The two of them bond over their shared loved of history / interest in the history of the manor.

I should make it clear: this isn’t a love triangle, this is poly thing.

The ghouls:

Florence Blossom (left), 40, and Gwenllian Baker (right), 42. Both were performers in a small acting trope who died in 1941 (though not at the same time or in the same way, funnily enough) in the manor Simon lives in. They love each other very much.

Florence is a bit judgy, loves a good moan, and is very anxious about everything and everyone, always. Her anxiety tends to make her come off as a bit snappy. She can control the lights.

Gwen is a bit vacant, with her head absolutely in the clouds at all times. She struggles a bit with empathy and reading the room, leading her to be mindlessly cruel sometimes. She never means it though and genuinely cares about Simon and Florence, and will look after them both in her own weird ways. she can lock, unlock, close and open doors

Now back to the living:

Agatha Jeorme, 55, tenant  no. 1. She’s kinda like if an angsty teen was stuck in the body of a middle-aged woman, and we love her for that. She’s the daughter of the landlord and hates it. If she had any other skills / if her father had helped her get a better opportunity elsewhere like he did with her brothers, she would have jumped on it. But instead, he gave her the job of looking after Woodward. She hates him, deeply. She often shovels off small jobs onto Simon because she knows he won’t say no, and is having an affair with the next-door neighbour’s wife. I kind of made her sound like a bastard, and she is kinda, but a fun one I hope, and she does learn to be less of a bastard as the story goes on. 

Gwynfor Geraint Jones, 34, tenant no. 2, he/she, bigender, aroace. Just a chill guy who loves rock music and slasher movies. She’s in a QPR with Adam, them being the first two to move into Woodward. this isn't entirely related to his character, but he's called gwynfor geraint after two twins i went to primary school with. their names always stuck in my head, in so i thought i'd put them to good use.

Adam Diana Keats, 36 tenant tenant, no.3, she/her, aroace trans woman, Scottish. She’s a librarian with a love of reading, especially poetry, and a bit pushy, a bit bossy, but ultimately well-meaning. She’ll drag Simon out of his room but with the intent to encourage him to mingle and hang out with the Woodward crew, you know. She hates Will on sight. There’s more I could say, but that would be spoilers. also, despite her dark academic vibes, she does love a good animal print

Penny Sion Seagrove, 29, no.4, she/her, lesbian. A tired, friendly gardener who would love it if everyone would get along and be friendly. She sometimes sticks her nose in places she shouldn’t to figure out people’s beef with each other (cough, Adam and Will, cough) to see if she can find a way to squash it for them, which doesn’t usually work. She tries anyway. She’s Catholic, shares Simon’s love of puns, and is dating Alice.

Alice Rhodri Blackwood, 30, she/her, trans lesbian. She lives in town with her best mate Mickey. She’s a loud, cheery, extroverted goth with an interest in witchcraft who can also see ghosts. She has slightly different opinions about ghosts and how they work from Simon, but she’s still his go-to when he’s having ghost issues. 

Mickey Dolores Palmer, 29, she/her, English (Yorkshire). Idk what her deal is, and she just is, you know. A very nervous, clumsy, mousy person who works at the local museum. She tends to jump to conclusions and is not a fan of ghosts. Unfortunately, she can also see ghosts, so that’s not great for her. She's doing her best.

god i wrote way too much for this, sorry asdfghj. but uh, also, i did a voice claim video for some of these losers, if you're interested. also,t hank you so much for asking. i do love talking about these idiots

[1daroaceficfest]

Welcome to the 1D Aro/Ace Fic Fest! - Masterpost

A One Direction Fic Fest centred around all the identities on the aromantic and asexual spectrum

1D Aro/Ace Fest Round I - Masterpost

AO3 Collection

🩶 Listening to Intuition by lululawrence / @lululawrence = Louis/Harry - Zayn/Liam | 5K | Not Rated | fic post =

Now that Zayn was laying it all out like this, Louis got to wondering… could it be possible that he was never able to get a really good handle on what exactly aromanticism was because he’d never felt romantic attraction, and without that key piece, how could he possibly figure out what it truly meant to be lacking it? Louis has a good grasp of his own identity and how all the pieces of him fit together in his life as a queer man in a committed relationship with his partner. Or so he thinks until his favorite aroace TikTok creator shows him another possibility he may have previously overlooked.

🩶 I'd Rather You (Hold Me) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed = Zayn/Louis | 14K | Teen And Up | fic post =

He frowns when he hears the dial tone. By now, he knows just how many times the sound will come through, tinny on the speakers, before it clicks over to voicemail, and yet he still feels his heart trip over itself whenever the voice first comes through. “Hi, you’ve reached Zayn-” He sighs, rubbing at his forehead, where his headache always tends to bloom when he’s stressed. “Fuck’s sake,” he grumbles, disconnecting the call and resisting the childish urge to redial immediately, knowing that if Zayn’s not picking up now, he won’t no matter how much Louis bugs him. It’s just - this isn’t like them. It isn’t like Zayn to dodge his calls for days, not unless he’s seriously incapacitated or dead, but if that were the case, Louis would’ve heard. Because Louis is his emergency contact, for one, and both their families know how much they mean to one another. Someone would’ve called, if something had happened, unless Zayn was dead in his own house, and, oh God, what if Zayn’s dead in his own house and Louis has been mentally calling him a dickhead while he’s rotting on the bathroom floor? Spoiler: Zayn isn't dead. There is however, suddenly a baby.

🩶 a little, then suddenly by HoldingOnToChaos / @holdingontochaos = Louis/Harry | 34K | Explicit | fic post =

Written for the Aro/Ace Fest 2024. Prompt 12: Gray-Asexual (demisexual) Harry falls in love and gets attracted to his best friend Louis after fifteen years of friendship.

🩶 A ROad and A ROmance to self discovery by rockstarlwt28 / @rockstarlwt28 = Louis/Harry | 3K | General | fic post =

Louis Tomlinson, a motivational speaker for the LGBTQ plus community finds himself confronted with a student who is determined to derail his presentation. Reaching boiling point and landing in hot water, Louis seeks out a place of serenity. A welcomed presence of additional tranquillity and renowned first class student Harry Styles, accompanies him. Prompt: Louis creates a “guide” to aro/ace for a college presentation and Harry (who had been previously doubting his sexual orientation) realises that he might be aro/ace.....also bonus if you could make it an interactive presentation where there is this one asshole who is constantly arguing with Louis about this not being a sexuality and saying bullshit like 'sexual love is the only form of love' and 'you are just boring' but Louis gives witty comebacks and shuts him up. In the end, Harry and Louis have a chat in a library where Louis helps him with coming to terms with his sexuality.

🩶 It's Not That I Don't Want You by parmahamlarrie / @parmahamlarrie = Louis/Harry | 12,5K | Explicit | fic post =

It begins with a benign comment during a night in watching a show with his lovely boyfriend, Louis, and leads Harry to a months long journey to understand himself better. Will Harry figure out what makes him feel so different from everyone else? And will he find the courage to tell his boyfriend? Or a character study into Ace Harry with the most supportive boyfriend, Louis.

🩶 I Wish You Knew I Love You by SuperNoah / @super--noah = Louis/Harry | 7K | Mature | fic post =

When Harry and Louis met at 16 they instantly became best friends. They still are, even now as they're both finishing their master's at Manchester University, but Harry's jealous boyfriend is trying to drive a wedge between them. As Harry's relationship takes a turn for the worse Louis realises he's fallen in love with Harry. Will Harry stay with James? Or will his jealousy end them for good? Does Louis even have a chance with Harry if he ever becomes single? Demisexual/demiromantic Louis realises something massive about his feelings for his best friend, Harry, over Christmas. But Harry is with James and seems to be happy. Louis would never have a chance with Harry anyway. Harry likes sex and Louis doesn't, he never has and probably never will.

🩶 Just The Way You Are by enchantedlandcoffee / @enchantedlandcoffee = Louis/Harry | 780 | General | fic post =

"Do you miss it?" "Miss what, love?" He could hear the frown in Louis’ voice, and tried to subtly release soothing pheromones into the kitchen "You know...sex and all that." "Where's this coming from, Haz?" Or, the one where Harry confesses his worries, and Louis reassures him.

🩶 Somebody to Love (in the Right Way) by The_Halcyonic_Lachesist / @chai-hat-tea = Louis/Harry | 21K | Mature | fic post =

He fell on his bed, happy tears flowing from his eyes. For the first time, he felt seen. He felt valid. He felt good within his skin. He wanted to dance with joy, for he finally found the answers he didn’t know he needed. Or a story about discovery, acceptance, and happily ever afters.

🩶 Stronger Than the Tide by haztobegood / @haztobegood = Louis & Harry | 3,3K | General | fic post =

The time Louis had spent talking with Harry in the cave had flown by. He was still unsure where the time had gone. Maybe it was because this was the first real connection Louis had made in years. Love and sex did not interest Louis, and it became harder to find good friends. It was different with Harry. Their conversation flowed effortlessly without pressing for more. Despite the hours they spent together in the cave, Louis wanted to keep talking, to share more of himself, and to learn more about Harry. He hoped their paths would cross again soon.

🩶 Let Your Tears Fall (No I Won't Judge You) by LiveLaughLoveLarry (SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFic) / @loveislarryislove = Louis/Harry | 7,9K | Explicit | fic post =

“I want to feel good," Harry says. "I want you to feel good. I just… I don’t know what that looks like.”  Louis nods. “That’s fair,” he says. “Always a bit of a learning curve, figuring out what you like and what you don’t.” He rubs his chin. “What if we just… talk through it? Instead of doing it?”  Harry blinks. “What do you mean?” he says. “I don’t – I just don’t know what-” “I know,” Louis says. “It’s okay.” He brushes his hand down Harry’s cheek, soft and gentle. “I can start,” he says. “Tell you about what I imagine us doing together. And anytime you feel like something isn’t right – you can stop me, and we can figure out a different path.” Harry nods slowly. “Okay,” he says. “I can try.” Four times Harry cries during sex. And four times Louis is right there beside him, giving him all the comfort and support and validation he needs.

🩶 And I'm Okay (with what i'm not) by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa = Louis/Harry | 6,6K | Teen And Up | fic post =

“So, speaking of steamy scenes.” The interviewer, Harry had already forgotten his name again, gestured with his mod cards between Harry and his co-star, Sam. “With all the intimacy going on on-set, was there ever a time that continued… off-camera?” He winked at the camera. OR 3 times people make assumptions about Harry's sex life and the 1 time he snaps