#like when he poses as king for a hot sec

[7amonathursdayinoctober]

What do we think chat?

(I have no fucking clue how to arts and crafts any cosplay shit)

[hydrangeyes]

love language

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

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lego monkey king character love languages

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Wukong:

- It's physical touch

- like come on it's so obvious frfr this man is emotionally constipated

- that and gifts of any kind

- one day you get a shiny rock the next he's giving you an ancient and precious golden pendant or something

- more times than not you can find each other cuddling and sun bathing on his island or temple

- if he's feeling particularly soft or something that is when he speaks up, pulling you aside to play with your fingers as he nervously asks if you know just how much he loves you. (This def feels more constant after the lbd deal)

- at first it was sweet but towards the 3rd hour of him describing everything you basically kiss him silent

- work out around him and all that goes through his head is "buddah I'm so very gay, gay gay gay, my mate is so fucking hot."

- I whole heartily believe he would recite that audio of spike saying "I love a person who can beat him up, I want it to get embarrassing." Just towards you and it's so fucking funny.

Macaque:

- He's vocal and physical.

- vocal in a round about way but def the type to fuss when you have to get up from the cuddle pile for even a sec

- feel like Mac would recite poetry or lines from a play

- will beat someone up for you, a single frown and he's already plotting murder

- in turn melts when you give him a kiss anywhere

- his favorites are on the cheek

- anyway, he wouldn't give you gifts unless its during festivals and such, very much a practical use gift giver

- he doesn't want there to be any doubt that he loves you and knows you love him, and if there's a smidgen of doubt he's blunt in asking

- Besides sandy idk why but probably the most to be very hands down "communication is key" in the relationship

- idk why but he likes hanging or being on your shoulders, whether your short or talk my dude, he's on your shoulders in some way

Tang:

- I head canon he's demi on all accounts cause I want too, so everything starts as friendship

- as time goes he starts dragging you about to his fav places to eat or snack

- seems like the type to bring you back really good food

- he can't cook for shit but he just found this new food place and thinks you might like it

- in a non yandere way keeps tabs on everything you enjoy

- so I guess also a gift giver

- the gifts are food (I would say folklore books but I feel like that's more something you give him and you both read it together)

- hard to say what else as I've convinced my mind that tang is happily married (platonic or not) to pigsy and then both dating sandy, speaking of which-

Sandy:

- everything, he's a giver

- cuddles, gifts, kisses, cooking you meals, talking

- sandy I feel is very loving, just a big old cheese ball

- Just imagining him waking you up with a kiss on the forhead and the smell of your favorite tea and breakfast, mo purr on the bed as you guys talk about what to do today

- I def wanna say he's definitely a "look at my awesome handsome boyfriend/fiancee/husband/partner!" Will Smith pose style

- leaves stick notes of love letters and I love yous everywhere when he is in a rush for work or helping the gang somewhere

Pigsy:

- Easy

- he cooks you meals, he's great at it and it's something he's most confident in

- not just any but handmade and usually family recipes he doesn't make for the shop

- Spending time to show you how to make his family recipes

- a "Why would I buy you chocolates when I can make you chocolate from scratch for sweethearts day?"

- the calmest around you, not that you mind when he's being passionate (about hobbies and a new recipe he's thought of)

- his secret taste tester, before tang he let's you try all the new meals he has planned

- he tries to flirt but he sucks at it, you are kinda into that, it's cute

- He's very vocal but nervous when it comes to affection but gives it in abundance

- the way he proposes is asking if you wanna help parent mk

- if you ever fight (usually on work and taking breaks), you both give each other the silent treatment; pigsby usually caves first (hes hot headed but once he cools down its liek why was i even mad???) and goes to talk things out, usually the shop is closed next day and you both are on a date

[siremasterlawrence]

Hypnosis Pro Player

Part 1 - 2

I hate sports, I hate people, I hate everyone and everything really but my friends drag me to the game.

I snuck away from the pack to get a hot sec for a breather when is we him sexy baseball player.

He is a professional baseball player with a super tight ass, perfect body and a cute face.

I close my eyes one more time taking a deep breath and allowing myself to calm.

I imagine him with a rush of cool air spin out around him super speeding up.

The mystifying invisible air releases from my body into the air heading straight at him.

Part 3 - 4

The cold air hits him head on in to his nostril pushing in to its spreads.

The air circulation surrounding his entire body space.

My eyes pop open to meet his do the same in a robotic stance and nods his head.

“I’ve been waiting for a man like you my king.” The man States posing with his body and bat.

Using my foot I kick the door close bracing my back on it the cold air shakes my body.

“God! I love you my King” he responds.

The end

The Hypnotic Cop

Part 1 - 2

Chris is the hot cop waiting outside to arrest Jake the player I just enslaved and I could not have that.

We snuck out of the private player exit back door to attempt escape but he saw us.

“God Damn it!” I yell out in anger at him In a bit of rage.

“You are under arrest.” He says hopping off of the car.

“Stop don’t move” he swears in a fit his eyes tense.

“Officer please” I say in a relax stance.

I take a deep breath calming my voice as the air streams out.

The air hits his nostrils dig in to his nose took him out.

“Kneel and submit” I swear popping open my eyes.

“What the fuck? What are you doing?”

Part 3 - 4

“I am the man of your dreams”

“Your nerdy hunk”

“Your police Chief”

“You belong to me”

“I don’t…I…I comply”

“Yes Captain”

“I hear and obey”

“You mentally fucked me”

“I owned you “

“Sir Yes Sir.”

The end

The Boxer and The Shadow

Part 1 - 2

Tom Harper is a top tier Boxer worldwide in the world.

He is a heavy weight god in sports boxing his own shadow throwing one fist.

I laugh a bit dropping a bag on the floor and open the candle.

I lift out of the bag lite it up with a cigarette liter and settle it down.

The flame bounces up and down catching his eye.

He continues fight his shadow stopping him

cold.

His eyes are glued to the wall unable to look away.

All he can do is fight the swearing is so so

profuse.

“Excellent! Focus on the flame”

“Yes”

Part 3 - 4

“Stop cold and brace the wall with your back”

“Yyyyyeeeesssssss”

“I must obey”

“I am your God”

“Yes God!”

“Sir Yes Sir”

“You fight for me”

“I fight for you “

“You are my property “

“I am your property”

The end

[jlf23tumble]

If it's okay, how was Louis' concert ? Did it exceed your expectations or?

Hello, and of course it's okay! I'll give you my rando thoughts below, and it exceeded my expectations ONLY because I heard that a lot of the crowd vibes in the early part of the tour were quote rancid, and yeah, having lurked, HARD AGREE, but I saw the final show, didn't have on my best clothes, and thought it was pretty damned great! Rando thoughts under the cut:

Sunday night capped off a rollercoaster birthday weekend in the best kind of way, so it's gonna be aimh for that reason ALONE.

I went with my best friend, who is always endlessly amused/confused by my descriptions of fandom dynamics on EVERY FUCKING LEVEL (she knows Louis from when I made her watch XFUK and from every 1D song video ever and from this album, period)...I could give you her reactions to things, but those are hot real takes you need a galaxy brain to handle and say, yes, yeah, uh huh, EX-FUCKING_ACTLY.

He did his T pose/Christ pose, like, seriously a LOT, so much, a real staple!

He sounded so fucking GOOD, and we were especially thrilled when he sang our faves (my friend: We Made It, me: Always You, both of us: Copy of a Copy....).

I am 100% convinced he can't read signs past the second (first???) row--he sees someone with a sign, points, gives a smile and a thumbs up, perfect amounts of crowd service, A+, king.

ZERO BANTER, which was a shame, just the usual "sing it!" "[redacted voice] I'm only here because of you, we couldn't do this without you, thank you, etc." "the crew is amazing [paraphrasing]"

I truly HATED the fact that the monitors weren't synched with him, that just reeks amateur hour, and I blame it on the venue--maybe other venues had it working??? But come on, this is LA.

Speaking of, it's definitely just me, but this venue gave me so many Orange Country vibes that whenever he mentioned "Los ANGELES!", I was like, please, my god, don't gas up the OC this way, we are in Anaheim, for chrissakes, until I realized, hey wait, we're five minutes from the Forum and LAX, he's right!! This venue is cursed!

The crowd was an interesting yet fairly specifically skewed mix of ages and outfits (granted, I only had drinks in one section, for like 20 minutes, but I think I saw only a handful of Harry- or 1D-related stuff). Lots of Louis 2012 cosplay (red pants, striped shirts), but that's it beyond "lookin' to pull" gear,...whither the track suits!! I think Harry makes it way easier, you dead-ass have to own some of these rare vintage Louis shirts vs. finding a green boa at Michael's or wherever.

His aesthetics are so muted, considering this is still a big show, but I also think it's related to his current public image, so I get it. It's interesting, though, how stripped down it is...and I wonder how deliberate that is. And I think it's hella deliberate, fwiw.

ETA: I REMEMBERED!! The venue had one (1) merch booth, and it was outside, and it was fucking FREEZING. Why not bring it in or have more options??? Bad call.

...I have other thoughts, but they're escaping me, and I have to chat with a friend in a sec, so enjoy this venue picture, we had killer seats!!!

[watchmegetobsessed]

Prom - Shawn Mendes

WARNING: IT’S A SMUT!! hope yall will like it ;)))

masterlist

The limo comes to a stop and all your friends start cheering, along with you. It takes some time for all the girls to get out without ruining their dresses, but when everyone is out you line up for a picture with the fancy vehicle. You stand on the right end striking your best pose as one of the guys takes some photos of you. Your beige dress is hugging your body just perfectly, showing off your curves, the fabric has a subtle shine, grabbing the attention just slightly.

“Let’s get inside!” someone cheers a bit too enthusiastically, bringing a smile to your lips, but as everyone starts moving inside you stay.

“You’re not coming?” your best friend asks you nodding towards the entrance. The music is blasting through the door, and it’s obvious the party is going amazing inside, but you need to do one thing before going inside.

“Go ahead, I’ll be there in a sec,” you smile at her and she already knows what it’s about. She returns the smile before leaving you alone as you reach for your clutch.

You fish your phone out and go to your contacts to dial Shawn’s number. You watch the excited students walk inside around you as you wait for him to answer the call. It’s ringing forever before you finally hear his faint voice on the other end of the phone.

“Hey!” His voice is a bit muffled, almost distant, but you ignore it thinking he might just be on his way to dinner or something.

“Hey, just wanted to hear your voice,” you smile to yourself.

“Are you already there? How is the party?” he asks.

“I’m here, but I haven’t been inside. I just wish you were here,” you mumble sadly.

You really wanted Shawn to be there with you at prom, but he just couldn’t make it. It’s completely understandable, you’ve been dating for long enough to know his lifestyle is just too hectic right now with the tour and extra gigs in between the two legs, but still, you really wished to spend this night with the guy you love so much.

“Baby, don’t break my heart,” he sighs.

Shawn’s been feeling extremely guilty for missing prom, he obviously wanted to be your date, and when he told you he wouldn’t make it you really thought he would start crying. He felt like he let you down even though you totally understood it.

“Okay, I’m done. What are you doing right now?” you start changing the topic so neither of you hurts. You wait for his answer, but it comes after a hesitant pause.

“Just um… heading out for dinner with the guys. Nothing special.”

“Okay then why do you sound so sus?” A confused chuckle leaves your lips as you change the phone from one ear to the other.

“Sus? I’m not sus!” he defends himself and I hear someone talking to him in the background.

“Who was that?” you ask not really recognizing the voice.

“Just Andrew. Babe, I gotta go, but call me when you get home, okay? I wanna hear everything from tonight.”

“Sure.” A faint smile appears on your face as disappointment washes over your body. You really hoped to talk to him a little longer before you go in.

“Alright, love you!”

“Love you too,” you reply, but by the time you end the sentence the line is already dead.

It totally kills your vibe. You cling onto your clutch as you make your way inside and try to pull your best fake smile out. Someone gets you a drink as you join your friends, your hips gently rocking to the rhythm of the music. The theme is enchanted forest, not too original, but the decoration looks amazing, you have to admit. The photo corner is pretty extra and you mentally note not to forget to take photos with your friends.

You secretly keep checking your phone hoping to see some nice words from Shawn, but nothing comes. An hour goes by, you dance, mingle, talk and try to have fun, but you feel like you need some time out. You leave the dance floor and take a seat at a table sipping on your drink. The DJ seems quite into his set, you zone out on his rhythmical moving on the stage, the lights dancing around him, and your mind just kind of goes blank for a few moments. When someone grabs onto your arm you jump at the sudden touch.

“Y/N!” your best friend gasps excited, shaking your arm.

“What?!” you snap in confusion.

“He is here!”

“Who?” you ask still not knowing what she is talking about.

“Me. I’m here.”

The familiar voice freezes you and at first you don’t even process where it’s coming from. Your friend steps aside and your eyes catch your boyfriend standing there, in a very fancy tuxedo and the widest smile on his perfectly shaped lips. You slowly stand up, mouth hanging open as your brain is having a hard time to believe your eyes.

“Shawn?” you question a bit dumbly. He chuckles at your reaction closing the distance between the two of you, his hands gently sliding to your hips. Leaning down he kisses your cheek and you finally get back in touch with reality. He is here, at prom, looking hot as always and the whole school is staring at you right now.

It’s a well-known fact that you are dating Shawn, you’ve made it official a couple of months ago, but this is the first time people in your school see together with him. You see a couple of students taking their phones out and take pictures which would normally annoy you, but right now you couldn’t care less.

“I’m sorry if I sounded weird on the phone, but I just touched down and I had to be fast to get here before it ends,” he apologizes. Your hands slide up on his biceps to the back of his neck.

“I knew you were up to something,” you grin at him narrowing your eyes.

“I wanted to surprise you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here earlier, but-“

“Shh,” you cut him off. “I’m so happy you are here,” you whisper leaning closer and finally capturing his lips in a kiss.

“By the way, you look absolutely gorgeous. What do you say, should we take a photo at the photo corner?” he asks with a cheeky smile and you are just too excited to describe with words.

The next hour you two do all the cliché things you were dreaming about before. After posing for a couple of photos Shawn meets your friends, then you slow dance, you watch the prom king and queen get crowned with Shawn standing behind you, his arms around your waist whispering how you are the real queen in the room.

Later you are sitting on his lap at the table, just casually talking with your circle of friends, Shawn nuzzles his nose against your neck, peppers your shoulder with soft kisses from time to time, making you feel warm and loved. His hands are on your stomach, but sometimes they wander down to your thighs, giving them some gentle strokes. For an outsider it all seems like him showing his affection in a gentle way, but you know him better than that.

He is getting horny.

You know this from his actions and also by the fact that he has been situating himself under you, trying to deal with his growing erection, but you can feel everything through the thin fabric of your dress.

“Shawn…” you grin at him turning to the side to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry, you just look so incredible,” be mumbles, his rosy cheeks turning even redder.

“You look hot too.” It’s the first time you’ve seen him in a tuxedo and you are obsessed with it. It’s got your imagination going wild. It’s getting harder to control your own body’s reaction.

“Is there a spot where we can…” he whispers into your ear making you gasp, but it’s also making it harder for you to sit still.

“This is my school, Shawn.”

“So what? I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be the first couple to have sex here,” he chuckles making your jaw drop to the ground.

“That’s gross.”

“Baby, I need you. Please,” he begs mumbling against your skin. Thinking about it you look around and your eyes fall to the door that leads to the bathrooms. Biting into your bottom lip you standup and pull Shawn with you, making sure to cover his situation with your figure.

Without a word you pull him after you, heading to the bathrooms. These are not very used, everyone prefers the ones in the locker rooms, they are more spacious so you are hoping to find the girls toilet empty. Excitement is boiling your blood as you grab the handle with one hand, holding Shawn’s hand with the other. Pushing the door open all your dreams come true when you see there is no one inside. You pull Shawn inside, and show the door closed, locking it and silently thanking God there is a lock on that damn door.

The moment the lock clicks Shawn presses you against the door, your lips colliding, hands all over each other.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N,” he mumbles against your skin as his lips travel down on your neck. He tries to wiggle your dress up, but doesn’t really succeed, so you take control while he undoes his pants and lets them hang around his ankles.

A few moments later your panties land on the ground and he lifts you up, back pressed against the cold door, making you moan. Shawn lifts his head cautiously.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks worried. You shake your head pulling him in for another kiss.

“Don’t stop,” you plead and you don’t have to say it twice.

Pulling his boxers down the tip of his cock touches your clit, making you shiver immediately.

“I missed you so much, baby,” he whispers into your lips, hungrily sucking on your lower lip as you are struggling to breathe normally.

“Shawn, please,” you moan in total ecstasy.

It’s not the time and place to be slow and take your time with each other. That’s for the bedroom when you are alone, now you have to be fast before someone catches you and makes headlines of your quickie on your prom night.

Shawn reaches down, adjusts his length to your opening before slowly sliding into you. The fulfilling feeling makes you roll your eyes back as you hold onto his broad shoulders. He starts moving slowly, but picks up his pace pretty soon.

“Fuck, baby,” he growls, his thrusts never falling out of rhythm.

Your climax is building up, you are so close to the end and he just keeps going while his lips nib on the sensitive skin on your neck.

“Shawn!” you moan his name, while he fastens his pace.

His orgasm comes right before yours, you both struggle to hold back your loud moans not wanting anyone to hear you. His thrusts slow down and eventually stop. He rests his forehead against yours, both of your trying to catch your breath. He gently puts you down and you reach for a few paper towels to clean yourself. A few minutes later your panties are back on, just like his pants and you are both fixing your after-sex hair in the mirror.

“Wait, let me help you,” you tell him reaching up and running your fingers through his soft curls. “All done,” you smile him pecking his lips slowly. “Thank you,” you whisper to him.

“For the sex, or…?” he asks jokingly, and you smack his arm gently.

“For being the best boyfriend ever,” you answer anyway. He cups your face in his hands as he plasters a soft kiss to your nose.

“I know it’s not easy with me, but… I want to try my best to give you everything you deserve. And you deserved a perfect prom night. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you say grinning at him in awe. “But… let’s get back before they catch us. We don’t need a scandal, right?”

“Right,” he chuckles before you leave the bathroom.

[timelock97]

Out of Order Love

Chapter Seven: Shenanigans

Summary: It was meant to be a fun time in Vegas. Spending time with the best friend and celebrate getting done with college to turn the page to a new chapter in life. If only (Y/N) realized she would be turning a few extra pages by accidentally marrying her favorite actor.

Word Count: 1890

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6 ��

I watch as Tom and Harrison run ahead of Emily and I and fling themselves on the display beds in Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I sigh and glance at her.

Emily is shaking her head next to me. "How old are they?" She laughs sarcastically as an employee walks over to the boys to scold them.

"Five," I muse, Emily looks at me in amusement. I smile at her before we lean together and look at the long list of things that Tom and I needed for the new place. It hadn't taken us very long to sign the papers and get the keys for the place. My family was excited, and that meant packing all of my things and trying to get everything in place at the same time. Today was a day of making sure we had everything else we needed to stage the "perfect home" not only for our friends and family, but the press too.

"So, is he paying for everything or...." Emily asks, voice trailing.

"Well," I nod at her to follow me into the bedding section. "You know my mom. Even after I told her not to say anything to my family she goes and tells my aunt, who tells my grandma, who tells my aunt on my dad's side." I give Emily a sideways glance, "Now my whole family knows that I got married. I've been getting Facebook messages, text messages, and phone calls about it and over the past few days I have been receiving cards and letters-"

"All with a little bit of cash since you didn't have a shower?"

"Yup, so Tom paid for a lot of the bulkier stuff, I helped with what I had left of my school funds and what we got in the mail." I walk away from my cart and stare up at the different colored comforters, "Now we are here."

"Am I allowed to ask about all the choices of furniture? Like the king-sized bed?" Emily wiggles her eyebrows at me making me chuckle.

"Well, Tom and I had originally just planned to buy the two beds for the upstairs, that was until his family decided that they were all coming when they bring a majority of his things."

"Oh, shit. They don't know either do they?"

"Nope, we kept it to the people we talked about in the beginning, so they are coming down in a week and are bringing Tessa. They plan to stay for the week, help us unpack, and then they are heading north to see the sights. I don't know if any of his brothers will stay with us while their parents go up north or if they all will go up too. It's going to be interesting." I sigh, stretching my arms over my head.

"I mean," Emily moves to the other side of me, pulling a light and dark blue comforter from the shelf for us to look at. "He did meet your parents and passed with flying colors, meet your close group of friends and basically got accepted into the group without a problem. Why would you be nervous about this?"

"Easy," I take the comforter in my hands and place it in the cart. I look over at Tom and Haz who are laughing while looking at sheets a few rows away, "It's been awhile since I've had to meet a significant other's parents, and I'm a little nerve wracked by it." Emily puts her head on my shoulder, looking up at me in a way I know is her way of telling me I'll be fine. I sigh and pull her into a side hug. "I don't know, Em. You know what I'm feeling, right?" She nods and squeezes me. I let out an annoyed groan and let her go, only to be grabbed by someone else causing me to squeak.

"That was definitely not the noise I thought you would make, darling." Tom coos in my ear causing me to roll my eyes and place my hand on top of his.

"Are you two done playing so we can go back to our shopping?" I inquire, raising an eyebrow even though I know he can't see it.

He groans behind me and places his forehead to my shoulder. "You're no fuuuuuuuuuun."

I giggle and squeeze his hands. "Poor baby," I hum. Tom's lips brush my shoulder that isn't covered by my shirt causing the heat to rise in my cheeks.

Emily smiles widely in front of me and sees my distress. "Alright, lovebirds, you two need to finish your shopping. Is there anything that Haz and I can shop for that is already specifically chosen?"

"I can send you the list since it's on google docs." I pat Tom's hands to tell him to let go; however, instead he keeps on arm around me and grabs my phone out of my back pocket for me. "Getting handsy there, Holland?" I smirk as I take my phone from him, he stays silent but I can feel him smiling against my skin. I type out a quick email and share it to Emily before the two of them leave to go find the baking and cooking supplies, hand in hand. I sigh and look back up at the comforters with Tom still holding me to his chest. "Can I ask why we are still like this?"

"Some paparazzi followed us in." I stiffen in his arms, his thumb begins to rub my hand that is now between his. "Relax, just cameras, and I told the employees that if they get too close to ask them to leave. I don't need you to worry about them."

"Me?" I turn my head toward him, his nose brushing against my cheek.

"Yes, I don't want you to have to worry about them when you have other things on your mind. Which reminds me," He loosens his grip on me and turns me in his arms so I'm facing him. "You're worried about meeting my family? My family already loves you, why are you worried?"

"Your family," I slide my arms around his neck, "doesn't even know me. How can you say they like me-"

"I did say love, not like, darling." He chuckles, but quickly looks down bashfully. "And it may be because I have been sending them short videos of some of our more interesting conversations."

"Like what?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Like when you and I were cuddled in the basement and we found that spider..." He begins to chuckle.

"Tom that was embarrassing!" I bury my face into his shoulder.

"I captioned the video 'my knight in fuzzy pants.'" He chuckles.

"I hate you." I laugh, placing my head on his chest to hide my blushing cheeks.

"No you don't, love. Besides, there were other videos,"

"Which you will show me when we get home, yes?" He smiles and nods before pressing his lips to mine. It's soft and sweet. Once he pulls away I lean forward again and peck his lips before taking a step back and get him back at the task at hand. "Alright, Holland, what color do you want for the master bedroom?"

Later that evening, Tom plops down next to me in my room with his Mac Book in hand.

"Alright, love, are you ready to see what I have sent my family to make them love you?"

"Honestly, I am afraid, but that never stopped me from watching quality content." Tom looks down at me with a raised eyebrow. "Oh my god, just play it." Tom laughs above me as he pulls me more into his side and plays the first video titled 'Pool Shenanigans.'

The video shows Jamie's pool, and all of us except him in it. I am sitting on the ledge when Chris pushes me in from behind with his foot.

"You brat!" I get out of the pool with Chris' water gun in hand and chase him around the edge of it until I manage to push him in. "HA!" I throw my hands in the air before yelling "Geronimo!" and throw myself into the pool while everyone laughs.

"Oh gosh," I laugh as I cover my face.

"Don't worry, (Y/N), they get better from here."

The next video is shot from the entrance of the living room, I am currently laying on the floor.

"What are you doing, love?" Tom asks concerned, chuckling slightly.

"Laying on the floor." I say matter-of-factly.

"I can see that, why are you laying on the floor?"

I shrug and look at him. I cross my eyes at him making him laugh. "I make you laugh a lot, I've noticed that, ever since we met."

"That's because you're easy to talk to and a dork."

"Yeah, but so are you." I let out a sigh, "Actually the reason I'm on the floor was because I was hot from being outside so I laid on the floor, but my knees locked up so I can't get up and have been waiting for you to get out of the shower to help me."

Tom snorts from behind the phone. "Okay one sec," the video pauses at me laughing harder on the ground.

"That was 'A Regular Morning.'" Tom laughs.

I groan. "Why did you send these again?"

"So, my family knows what I see on a daily basis."

The next video is the spider video. Tom and I had been downstairs watching Spiderman: Homecoming of all things when a spider had come straight down from the ceiling, the video cuts to me yelling at Tom.

"You're the guy, you're supposed to kill the spider-"

"That FUCKER is HUGE! I'm not going near that!"

"Ohmygod, just watch it, I'll be back" I turn and leave Tom by the couch.

"YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE?!" I come back with a shoe and quickly squash it while letting out a scream. "My hero~"

"Can it, Holland. I could have died!" I walk back over to the couch and the screen goes black.

"I swear to God, Tom." I cackle into his chest. His arm tighten around my shoulders laughing with me.

"My family loved that video." He clicks a few more buttons then pulls up another one, "This is from today."

"Oh god." I wheeze.

"Tom," The video turns toward me. "What if we moved all the furniture in this set one inch to the left?"

"Love, no."

"Love, yes!" I whisper but only look at the furniture. "Never mind, that's mean." Tom laughs behind the camera. Next, it cuts to me laying on a couch with Haz at the other end. "We are testing it." Again, Tom laughs and the video skips.

Haz is now heard. "Mate, look at (Y/N)."

The camera turns to me laying on the bed in a 'draw me like one of your French girl' poses before Emily jumps on the bed with me causing me to say loudly, "NO! You've ruined the moment!"

"Why did you send these to your family?" I laughed, shaking my head against his chest.

"Because." He muses.

"That's not a good answer. What was this one called?"

"Furniture store fun."

"I should have taken video of you and Haz jumping on those beds in Bed, Bath, and Beyond."

Part 8 

[lokilickedme]

Okay so I promised a bunch of pics from ScotFest 2018, and I’ve been stuck posting from my phone for the last two days so - sorry for the delay, but here we go with the good stuff.  It’s long, but stay with me, you’re gonna enjoy this mad trip.

First, let me say this.

FUUUUUCCCCCCCKK.  I knew I was gonna be having McClary flashbacks the whole time but it started out ridiculous and just got worse as the day went on.

The moment we pulled up the first thing that stepped into view was a dude in an anarchy tee shirt with a kilt and Docs and long black hair strutting down the sidewalk.  If Chem!Tom was Scottish...oh wait a sec, didn’t he say at some point that he was a bit, on his mother’s side?  Works for me.  So anyway, we arrive at ScotFest and walk the long way to the shuttle bus pick-up with a bunch of kilted guys and an elderly couple dressed in ancient clan clothing (they looked awesome).  And before we even get off the bus at the festival grounds, we’re blasted with bagpipe music as a full regalia marching pipe band parades past the entrance.  Something smells REALLY.GOOD. and off to the left of the entrance is a field where two Mol-pups are chasing sheep around while their shepherd whistles commands loud enough to split your head open.  Yep, McClary flashbacks, right off the bat.  And big Scottish athletes are throwing things that don’t look like they were meant to be thrown, though the biggest and most impressive athletes on the field are the females who are using pitchforks to hurl big bags of sand backwards over their shoulders over a bar that’s about 20 feet above their heads.  Big is looking at me like “What the hell, mom??” so I tell him the ancient Scots were farmers and they made games and competitions out of their farm chores.  He’s like “No, I mean why are you breathing so hard?”

No comment.  Did I mention that the females were really impressive?  Good start to the day.

So we move on past the games into the main festival area and everywhere are man-knees.  I’ve never really paid much attention to man-knees before, but to be honest they’re kinda...hot.  I don’t even know why.  And there were so many of them...hundreds and hundreds of man-knees on open display, it’s almost like I shouldn’t be looking but they’re RIGHT THERE all over the damn place and I feel like a pervert scamming peeks.  And calves.  Man calves.  Not normally a fan, but there were some good ones on display.

The first thing we did was hit the tribal music tent and it was over for me before it even got good and started...because on the stage inside the tribal music tent was THIS Scottish god:

Don’t worry, the picture quality will get better.  So we settle in to enjoy the music and this guy is eating up the stage and spanking the shit out of that drum, and then he starts blowing on a flippin’ didgeridoo (yeah, a nine foot long Australian horn, don’t ask me why but omg that man’s lung power was making the ground rumble under our feet and all I could think was how that skill might carry over, if you know what I mean).

Suddenly I’m really interested in nine foot horns.

A really cool thing about hitting the afternoon shows was the fact that you could go right up to the side of the stage and nobody cared.  So I did.

Physically painful, let me tell ya.  I could just almost look up his skirt.

That horn is vibrating the ground where I’m standing and I’m actually relieved when he switches back to the drum because all that vibration has shifted my panties about two inches to the left and it’s getting uncomfortable.  The drum isn’t much better though, and neither is the view from where I’m standing - he’s a big stout bull and I’m three feet away from him while he beats that drum to a whimpering death.  I could reach out and tickle his bare knee if I felt like getting divorced.

So I go back and sit with my guys again and he starts doing this:

KNEES.  I mentioned man-knees before, didn’t I?  Well here, have a pair.  I’ll post a video later of what he did to this poor little drum, and to his own thick neck - because I can’t even describe it, and you know words are my thing.  He played his freaking adam’s apple or something, I don’t even know.

There were actually two other musicians on the stage with him, but I sort of forgot they were there.

There were also lots of adorable father/son kilted combos present - and yep, a bagpiper rounds out the onstage trio.  But again...man knees.  The ones on the left specifically.

So the show ends after a lot of insane drumming, war cries, didgeridoo blowing, bagpiping, and a really nasty little ditty about a girl who’s been touched so much she’s smooth as a stairway bannister (followed by an anthem to an unhealthy relationship that proclaimed “I’d rather be drunk a thousand years than be sober one minute with you”).  Nice, guys.

As soon as their set is over we leave the tent to go wander around, but most everyone else stays because it is as hot as the freaking surface of the sun on this day and the tent is like an oasis on Mars - which means when the band comes out to let the next band hit the stage, we’re pretty much alone outside with the bull and his two stagemates (sorry backup drummer and bagpiper, you guys were awesome and I loved you but didgeridoo guy vibrated my panties two inches to the left, you know how it is).

Anyway, we’re outside at the merch tent and Husband is buying something and I look up and nearly slam bodily into this:

Drummer/didgeridoo guy.  I vaguely recall yelling to Husband during the deafening noise of the show that he looked like Aquaman, and when I end up face to face with him it’s confirmed.  I think it’s the cranky eyebrow.

I also get to ogle the piper’s bagpipes up close and personal, which was hard to do as didgeridoo guy - whose name is CJ - is standing right behind me while I ooh and ahh over this weird thing, and he’s laughing at me for reasons unknown:

Maybe it was the stupid comment I made about squeezing the bag?

And then the three of them pose for a pic:

Goobers.  At this point Little walks up to them and they all sort of huddle around him and start laughing (Little has light-blindness and has to wear special shades outside so he was half blind and I think he rammed right into the guy with the hat), so I hand my phone to Husband and go to get him.  When I get close, didgeridoo guy puts an arm the size of a tree trunk around me and hugs me up next to him while the other two are tickling Little.  Husband starts snapping pics with my phone, but no, I’m not sharing them because 1) my face, 2) Little’s face, 3) shellshock at being touched by this stud ox without having initiated it myself, and 4) the look on my face clearly says MY PANTIES ARE CROOKED AND HIS SWEAT IS SOAKING THROUGH MY SHIRT AND PHEROMONES PEOPLE OMG PHEROMONES I’M IN PAIN HELP I MAY BE PREGNANT

Yeah, he was drenched in sweat from jumping all over that damn stage schlepping a drum that probably weighed more than me.  My hand was on his back and it came away soaked.  You can consider that a euphemism if you want, it works both ways.

Also - red boots.  Urgh.  And then he goes like this:

Boy was solid as a whiskey barrel, let me tell you.  We came back later to listen to another band and he was out there again, and the girls from the face painting tent had lured him over and braided his hair.  He looked flippin cute.  And by cute I mean Jesus Wept.

So before this turns into an exclusive didgeridoo guy fest (too late, yeah I know) let’s move along to this fine specimen that I found at the blacksmith tent:

Ladies and gentlemen, meet King McClary’s work kilt.

Dude was nice from the front too:

Definitely an Auchinleck, for those of you familiar with The McClary Chronicles.  Check out the tattoo.  And he was making maille battle armor, which I got to touch.  It didn’t shift my panties quite as hard as the drums did, but there was definitely a quiver.

This guy was at the tent next door to the armor tent, making I dunno, bong pipes or something and he was hilarious:

And then there was this guy, listening to ballads in the historical folk music tent and looking all angsty and authentic, like his love just died of a fever and his crop failed so he joined a ships’ crew to find his fortune in a faraway land but the damn boat sank fifteen feet from shore and now he’s just fucking stuck in Scotland and contemplating becoming a villain:

And he was glaring at my child, I don’t know why.  Prissy prick.  I was hoping to see his dick but he was so anal he tucked his kilt under his ass from the front.  Definitely a villain.

After a couple of teary ballads about wailing winds and failed crops or whatever, I dunno, I wasn’t listening because I was too involved in trying to see Prissy Prick’s ballsack, we wander over to the Highland Dance competition and walk in on this:

We’re in there for all of about twelve seconds before Big starts giggling, then Little starts giggling, then I start giggling.  We promptly leave the Highland Dance competition tent, because these girls really worked hard and I don’t want to get arrested for being a dick.

We go watch the Mol-pups chase the sheep around, because nobody cares if you disrupt the proceedings in the middle of a field full of sheep.

And then we watch some more of the Highland Games, in which guys threw stuff while making the best faces I’ve seen since that time Husband wanted to try setting the mirror next to the bed:

Yeah, we giggled.

After that we went back to listen to some more music, because damn.  Scottish rock is da bomb.  Heard a punk band that Husband immediately fell in love with, so I guess we’re evensies on the lusting after Scottish musicians thing now:

Dude on the bagpipes grinned like that through the whole set, I think he was puffing something out of one of those tubes.

And then we walked out into the big freaking middle of about four billion of these:

Noisy effers.  And they don’t stop for anybody - we literally had to jump out of the way because when they paused in front of us, they went into this formation thing and backed up right into where we were standing.  Had to grab Little and yank him up off the ground before he was trampled by some dude wearing a dress and giving an octopus a blow job.

Turned to look at a woman sitting next to us a little later and watched her pull a dagger out of her sock and shine it on her kilt like she was getting ready to go assassinate someone in the crowd.  We left soon after, so I didn’t get to see it go down.  I hope it wasn’t the didgeridoo player, he was cute AF.

All in all it was an 11/12 day, marred only by the outrageous heat and the fact that I’ve been off my supplements and medications for a week in prep for surgery on Tuesday, so I was exhausted and my blood’s gone back to being water again.  We didn’t stay as long as we would have otherwise, but we had fun and experienced a lot of weirdness - I ate haggis on accident, Husband sat down with a plate and I thought it was meatloaf (it was good and I didn’t die, so bonus) - and I got to spend the day surrounded by all the clans that tried to assassinate Thomas The Fucking Marauder.

We’ll be going again next year.  Husband is a descendant of one of the border clans, so he’s heavy into this...and of course you all know what my connection is to it :)

Let me leave you with a picture of a guy about to bullrush a scarecrow.  I don’t know why, I didn’t ask.  Scotland’s weird, ya’ll.

[sunnycityshadypeople]

Defining Heartbreak: The Friendzone

I felt like writing and I guess could be a place to put it as it’s my only social media account where I have a bit more anonymity.    I feel hung over as fuck today, but noticed when I was articulating some deeper thoughts with someone that instantly felt better - so here goes with a story not of woe is me, but of the discovery I made about myself  Unrequited love over the years has reared it’s head a couple times.    In my early twenties, a guy I met online on Gaydar (is that site still a thing) - became a friend. I was actually his first gay friend and we hung out a lot.  We both went ot the same university and had one class that we both had in common - despite studying different degrees.   I thought he was super cute, intelligent and a catch - he had a certain confident swagger about him. Nothing sexual ever happened between us.   He then went overseas to live in France for a year - studying at the same university that the recently departed Kofi Annan.   Fast forward a year and over that time of missing him, I realised I had feelings for him and the cliche of distance only making the heart grow fonder certainly rung true.   When he finally returned to Australia, I was so happy to see him and a bunch of us hit the town together. A friend brought his rather cute pal along and joined me and my crush on a night out.   As it turns out, my friend’s cute pal ended up hooking up with my crush.  In a tree. IN A FUCKING TREE.  

I was crushed.      Like *spoiler alert* Captain America watching his best mate Bucky die or Tony Stark seeing a fading spiderman begging him not to go.   Yeah I was in my early 20s but it was defining moment of heartbreak. 

I dont remember how long after but I was moping around at my brother’s place and my sister was there.  She saw me dejected and withdrawn, asking me ‘what’s wrong?’ - I left out the front door and sat on the balcony and ugly cried.   And not the ugly crying I did when KFC stopped selling hot and spicy chicken, this was far far worse.  And a defining moment of heartbreak.  Sidebar:  I’ve always been a bit of a philosphical existentialist - mainly due to the the movie ‘The Matrix’.  The nature of reality fascinates me.    When I was 18, the philosphical book ‘The Celestine Prophecy’ came into my life... I actually ‘found’ the book on the street (I kid you not!) and it changed my life and the way I think abnd that’s where the true existentialist in me had an awakening. anyways. I’ve always been an introspective soul -- something perhaps most people I know don’t realise.  The cyclic nature of life (ok picture me holding my laptop up ala the Lion King pose as we sing the Circle of Life) - means that sometimes it feels like things repeat themselves.  I sometimes forget about the lessons that we need to learn and of course it came from another defining moment of heartbreak - this time in my mid 30′s.  I’d started chatting to this guy on a dating app mid 2016.    I thought he was super cute, intelligent and a catch - he had a certain confident swagger about him.   Feeling a sense of De ja vu?  No,it’s not a glitch in the matrix.    I tend to have a long lead time before I meet anyone online (I’m sure there’s a basis of fear of rejection in there but really are you that surprise after hearing that fucking sob story before!?) Anyways, we ran into each other at the gym and that was the first time we met.  We hung out a few times, and certainly these felt like dates.  We had a lot in common (and a lot in difference too), laughed alot and he was probably the first guy in a long time I met whose personality I loved.    He was witty at time cutting, his text game was super strong - but I’d usually own him face to face.   We’d spend our days jibing at each other trying to insult each other with memes (because Memes are life, right!?).  One time I was chatting to him via text -  describing a guy I used to like and how this dude and I had a lot common, was super nice... he replied to me ‘Kinda like us really?’  AND WHOA hold up this could be a romantasiced re-telling of my overthinking interpretation of a message - but that was sliding doors moment that would lead me to my next defining heartbreak.     I should have taken the bait.  But I was scared.  My absolute fear of rejection was scared to just tell this dude I like him - even if I was misconstrued in that message.    I do prefer voice messages over text because tone is a hard mother fucker to judge - thank god for emojis and ifs but still - just press that record button on whatsapp (He didnt’ like voice messages as he thought they were lazy) whereas I like to really convey my meaning.

Unless that meaning is ‘cue Madonna’ “IM CRAAAAZY FOR YOU TOUCH ME ONCE and you’ll know it’s truuuuue I never wanted anyone like this it’s all brand new... you’ll feel it in my kiss, you’ll feel it in my touch because I’m crazy for you - touch me once and you’ll know its’ true’

Anyways sorry about that Australian Idol gone Karaoke wrong moment. If you’ve fallen asleep reading this, you can thank me for the cure to insomnia later.  Ok, cut to the chase Jimbo - fast forward a year and half of being friends with someone you secretly love.  I use the term’ secretly’ loosely - because OMG was I just coming across as the love sick despo girl - random presents in his mailbox, being the nicest most supportive, generous friend - because hey, maybe he’ll come around if I kill him with kindness.  There’s an excellent article on being in the friendzone you should read by the way - I’ll talk about that later. I’m not going to go into details out of respect for this guy, but I knew inherently and the truth of the matter was no matter what I did or who I was - he was still on his Rupaul ‘can’t love nobody unless you love yourself’ journey.   So the harsh reality, and the ‘hes just not that into you’ vibes as espoused by Oprah back in the day meant this defining heartbreak was a bit different to the first.   I knew it was too far into the friendzone (never say never, but yeah let’s be real).. if it’s in the friendzone, they have to give you something that’ll finally get you into the endzone.  Anyways, I’d do anything for this guy.  Despite actually rationally speaking he didn’t tick some major core values for me.  It’s funny how attraction works.   A close friend who is a counsellor told me about ‘attachment styles’ (look it up, I wont digress more than I already have) - but essentially I was a major victim (of my own doing, because people don’t cause us to feel - we cause us to feel - think about that for a sec).. I was a major victim of treat em mean keep em keen. And I kept coming back for more.   I even tried weening myself off him by disengaging and that was great, but then we re-engaged. His was of re-engaging was sending me a message that said ‘Welfare Check’.  If it was me, I’d be like ‘Hey dude, I miss you! whats up!?’  The last time we saw each other was almost 2 months ago - nothing dramatic went down, but after not seeing the guy for a few weeks - he could only afford me about 40 minutes of his time.    It was a pleasant catch up but neither of us have communicated since.   He’s stubborn and I’m stubborn too.  But ulimately, it’s not healthy for me to love someone who doesn’t know what to do with my love.   And I look back at my own behaviour and do a major eyeroll because I really should save that stuff for someone who likes me back. That article I mentioned above - which I’ll post the link to - had a very simple suggestion and rule to avoid unrequited love and being in the friendzone. Only like somone who likes you back. OH MY FUCKING GOD REGINA YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO! Anyways, I’ve had some amazing dates and met a couple awesome guys (there’s still a them of them not living in the same city as me but hey I can deal with that for the moment). I have a lot of love in my life and the love I give  is welcomed and I’m not feeling like I’m being treated as an afterthought.  I emphasis ‘feeling’ because the truth is, I may not be an afterthought to him.   But actions do speak louder than words, and his inaction has spoken to me.   That’s cool.   My love will always be there.   But in defining heartbreak, I defined myself and thank you for reading this I’d like to thank the academy and you for being you. You are loved. 

[icetaelemonade]

Happy Birthday Kim Taehyung

Our favorite Gucci King turns a whole year older today! So of course I wanted to write a fic for him. It’s a bit long but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Major fluff ahead!

Here’s to many more years Taetae!

Want to request a specific imagine? Go right ahead! Please check out my rules first.

I thanked every supernatural being for Tae being home on his birthday. I knew he was extremely busy with touring, but luckily his birthday happened to be after the tour ended. So there he was, happily resting in bed, unbeknownst to him that I had been preparing a whole day just for him. 

I woke up hours before my usual alarm clock just to prepare breakfast in bed for him. Tae was wrapped around my body as if he was some koala. He always needed something to cuddle with when he slept. It was difficult to squirm out of his embrace, but somehow I managed to escape without him waking up.

I tried my best to make a pancake in the shape on a heart, maybe it looked like a fat “u” but it was the thought that counts, right?

“Jagi?” I heard his morning raspy voice in the room. I knew his voice was already deep, but god in the morning it sounded like the ocean was talking. “Where are you?”

“Gimme a sec, babe!”

I scrambled around the kitchen for a birthday candle, I know I put them in some drawer from last year.

“Jaaaagi,” he whined. “I miss you already.”

“Taaae,” I mimicked him. “Stay in bed okay?”

I heard him whimper in response.

Finally! I found the tiny box of candles. I lit the candle and hurried to the room. I crept around the corner, just to make sure he wasn't getting up. 

“Happy birthday to you,” I sang. “Happy birthday to yooou!”

I wish I could've taken a picture of his reaction when I entered. All weariness from the morning melted away and was replaced with his boxy smile. His eyes would turn into crescent moons, and the shine in his eyes were stars. I would joke around with him and say that his smile lines would last him until he was an old grandpa, but I loved them nonetheless. He gasped, in a good way, when he saw my failed attempt at the pancake. 

“Happy birthday dear Taetae. Happy birthday to yooou!” I feigned a high note that made my voice crack. 

And his laugh, god. I wish I could bottle that up and keep it in a pocket close to my heart.

Tae clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. His lips moved slightly before blowing out the candle.

“Aww, babe, you didn’t have to.”

I placed his breakfast on his lap and made my way to the spot on the bed. 

“Oh but I did!” I pecked his cheek. “Happy birthday Taetae.”

He leaned into my shoulder. “You made my character from BT21. You made Tata!”

“Oh, well, I tried to.” Somehow I learned how to do pancake art last night after he went to sleep. It only took hours on YouTube to learn how to do so. “I was going to add a body, but you woke up already.”

“Heehee.” Tae shifted his head to touch his forehead to mine, eyes piercing my own. I loved his natural eyes, his natural hair, his natural look. I never knew I could love the color brown so much. 

Whenever he’d lean into me, foreheads touching, it felt like we were puzzle pieces just waiting to link together. And when he kissed me, our lips belonged together. Perhaps he lingered a bit too long, but I didn’t mind.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Now eat! Your food is getting cold.”

“Only if you eat with me.” He began to slice a piece off and offer it to me.

“No, no, no, it’s your birthday. You get the first bite.”

“Hmm, okay. Feed me then.”

I rolled my eyes, but happily obliged. We’d take turns feeding each other, more often than not I was the one feeding him but I didn’t complain.

“Hey, I want the lips,” I said. He had already cut that part out, but I wanted it more.

Tae brought the piece to my lips only to feed himself. I pretended like I was hurt, but he pecked my lips. 

I groaned. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Yes, yes I am.”

He could be such a sap sometimes. Tae finished the last few bits and leaned into me, sighing contently. 

“What’s in store for today?” He asked.

“Well,” I began to run my fingers through his hair. He was very into intimate touches. Cuddles, holding hands, he just needed to touch me and he’d be content. “I have a few things planned out for you, but really it’s up to you.”

“Agh, I just want the whole day with you.” We switched roles and I ended up being pulled into his lap, practically enveloping me in his embrace. “I just need a bow on you, can you be my birthday present?”

“Maaaybe. But who says you get only one present from me?”

“Babe.”

“What?”

“You don't need to spoil me.” He held me as close as humanly possible and rested his chin on my head. “I just want you.”

“And I want you to be happy. I’ll do whatever you want for today, how about that?”

“Good, now cuddle with me.”

We spent the morning in bed, just enjoying each others company. At random intervals he’d bite my ear or shoulder. It was his strange habit, but I’ve come to adore it. Towards the afternoon we played a bit of Overwatch. He was an excellent D.va and I mostly played support just to help him out. We reached Master rank and celebrated with sweets and hot chocolate. I told him to not spoil his appetite, but he took one last candy. 

“What’s next, Jagi?” He asked after opening his lootbox. 

“Hmm, want to go to the park?”

“Yes!” 

Breakfast in bed, check. Overwatch, check. Hot chocolate and other sweets, check. I tucked his present in my bag and hurried to get ready to finally set out of the place. In the middle of preparations my phone buzzed.

It was a group SMS of me and the rest of the boys. Namjoon said he and everyone else would be coming over to bring presents. 

“Tae?”

“Yeah, I saw it.”

He came out of the bathroom wearing little make up but, as always, he looked as stunning as ever. His fashion choice was toned down a bit, though I still noticed his Gucci shoes. 

Despite his glowing face, he pouted. “I kinda wanted today to be just between us.”

My heart fluttered for a second. He’d rather spend the day with me than his friends, his second family. “I’ll let them in only for an hour, then the rest of the day is just us two.”

He was still pouting, looking down in feign sadness. I linked our hands together and pecked his nose, I was aiming for that mole on its tip. “I’m still your present, remember?”

He giggled and lightly bit my nose. “Okay.”

The rest of Bangtan came over a few minutes later. They all greeted Tae a happy birthday and piled presents on the dining table. We chatted and joked around for a while. When they asked if we wanted to eat out for dinner I jumped in.

“Actually, I was hoping to have the birthday boy to myself today.”

“What, why do you get V to yourself?” J-hope asked.

Tae walked over with a bow from one of the presents and tied it around my neck. “Because this is the best present. I plan on keeping Y/N to myself today.”

The boys hollered, nudging me and Tae. I’ll admit, my cheeks flushed hot when he claimed me as his. He linked our fingers together, just to get his point across.

I ushered the boys out as they nagged us for being so possessive of each other. Namjoon told us to “stay safe.” And with that I shut the door. Their laugh still seeped through the doors. 

Tae and I managed to get to the park with no more interruptions. We stayed there throughout the rest of day, mostly walking around, taking pictures, enjoying our time together. There was a carousel that he insisted we ride. He sat on a horse behind me, the shutter of his camera would go off every other second. I looked back and formed a heart with my fingers with a scrunched face. He took at least fifty consecutive shots of that one moment. I took the camera from him as he modeled for me. I used to tease him and say he was the best at everything: modeling, acting, being a boyfriend. He would reply that it was I who brought it out the most. Regardless, he knew he was in front of a camera, the calm and composed side of Tae came out. Hooded eyes, lips slightly parted. I know there were many photos of him posing like this, but some nights, I’d see a Kim Taehyung that no one else did. Perhaps he showed off a bit too much, people started to realize who he was. He only smiled and waved at the fans. We went one last round on the carousel before leaving the park. 

Tae studied the pictures once we came back home. He had hooked up the camera to the computer, already storing the photos from today.

“Jagi! You look so cute in this one,” he grabbed my hand pointed to one where I was mid-laugh, and about to cover my mouth with my oversized sweater paws. Tae brought my hand up to his lips and just rested them there on the back of my hand. 

This was the perfect opportunity. 

“Speaking of photos,” I brought out the present I packed and brought it in front of him. “I thought about giving you some of my favorite ones.”

The present was a small golden pouch, one of the unused make-up pouches. Inside were a handful of printed out photos throughout our relationship and--

“Is this Gucci?!” He exclaimed.

A charm dangled from the pouch zipper. It was a little UFO with the not-so-subtle Gucci logo patterned throughout the metal trinket. 

“I know you don't really do your 4D quirks anymore, but regardless I think you’re out of this world.”

“Jaaaagi!” He pulled me into his lap and peppered kisses along my face. Once again he bit my ear, it tickled too much to be sexual. Then he said some gibberish.

“Huh?”

“I just said, ‘I love you’ in alien.”

I tried my best to mimic what he said, but he only laughed. 

We shuffled through the photos together. I pointed out my favorites, like the one where he was in stilettos, leather pants, and that choker leash thing. He posed like Vogue model and I couldn't help but capture the moment. 

“How about we capture one right now?” He asked.

Tae unplugged his camera and somehow took a selfie with me on his lap. Our faces were squished together, smiles stretching from ear to ear. He held me by my waist, as close as possible. As the camera flashed I had my own wish, to have many more birthdays with Tae, to always be his favorite present.

[marumafan]

Yuuram in Novel 9

There’s so many yuuram scenes in this one I can’t even! Enjoy

------------------------------------------------------------------

Novel 9. ch.1

Yes, Yuuri gets a 'girlfriend' in this chapter, one that the novel author has said will never show up again.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.2 --Meeting up again, he doesn't even register Gunter--

“Yuuri!”

“Your Majesty!”

Familiar face, familiar voice; the two came running towards me.

Lord von Bielefeld Wolfram’s golden locks were shining under the sunlight. His emerald green eyes reminiscent of a lake, are trained on me. From the half open lips, I can almost hear the words ‘Welcome back’.

Ahh, I’ve finally come back. According to Earth time I’ve only been away for 2 months, but I’ve really missed this place.

(...)

You’re late hanachoko!!!”

Wait a sec.

Just now instead of ‘Welcome’, did you say henachoko?

Not only that but, you mispronounced it, didn’t you?

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.2 --This' how you treat a lady--

“Hmph, Yuuri, you sure are a henachoko. How can you not know the proper way to hold a Maidmer-princess? Watch, this is how a gentleman should hold a lady.”

With those words, what Wolfram demonstrated was the ‘take a photo with your catch’ pose.

If you call that romantic, all the fishers who’ve caught big catches would qualify as certified gentlemen.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.2 --Daddy Wolf --

….that I don’t want to let go of you tonight.”

“Whaaattt----!!!!???!!”

Who- Who taught Greta such an indecent thing to say!!!!!

I think the shock just blew a hole in my chest.

Coughing vehemently, I apologized.

You meant ‘this time’, not ‘tonight’ right? Right?

(Cough) “G- Greta…. I’m sorry for worrying you, but….”

“But Father, we‘ve promised to leave those words unspoken - thus Greta cannot but cry herself to sleep.”

Unsettled, I looked upwards, and noticed the third son raising his thumb.

“Wolf!!! Is this your doing?!! There’s nothing ‘Nice’ about this!!!!”

“Nope, this is a signal for ‘once more.’ However cold a king may be, such words from his beloved daughter must surely be enough to persuade him to scatter his bones in this country.”

Is scattering bones the norm in Shin Makoku?

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.3 --Touchy touchy--

“Then I’ll use this chance to tell you.”

Wolfram points at the spread-out map.

“Look closely, this is Shin Makoku, and this continent is Dai and Shou Shimaron, everything within this line…”

He sighs and continues grudgingly,

“…is Shimaron territory.”

“So big?!”

(...)

“And then Seisakoku, is here.”

He grabs my right hand and brings it to the bottom of the map—Wolfram knows I’m not used to reading the words. The diamond-shaped land labeled Seisakoku is, in Earth terms, situated rather to the south, not too far away from the Antartic. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.3 --Wolfram's resolution, my heart. Also just check out the way he describes Wolfram--

“Then should you mess things up, are you mentally prepared to disembowel yourself a punishment?”

Wow, just thinking about it makes me pale, eeeek—it sounds even more painful than seppuku.

“If you obtain everyone’s approval here and take upon yourself the duty of heading to Shou Shimaron, that is equal to a royal decree—in other words, you will be sent there as the representative of the Shin Makoku under His Majesty the Maou’s name. If for some small reason you fail, the responsibility lies not only on you, but also on the Maou, maybe even the country. It’s not something you can shake off by regretting or apologizing, do you have the resolve to take up this responsibility with your life?”

Wolfram bites his beautiful lips, but then he immediately clenches his fist. Although he looks like a weak bishounen, he's actually a passionate man. I just discovered that today.

"From the day I swore my oath to the king, I've been prepared mentally for that."

The oldest brother's expression looks even more painful. Unsurprisingly, because there's no way Gwen would send his beloved youngest brother somewhere dangerous. But I was defeated by Lord von Bielefeld's words. The decision this bad-tempered stubborn angel made puts his life on the line, and he even said he's mentally prepared for it.

He said, "From the day I swore my oath to the king."

Which king?

I instinctively swallow. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, which has suddenly gone dry.

It's me!

Wolf is talking about us.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.4 --In the crate--

“That’s why I didn’t want to hide in the mandarin crate! The color orange gets on my nerves every time!”

“You’re really noisy, Yuuri. If we followed what you said and hid in the crate with fish, by now we’d have choked on the odor of fish… Oh-umph!”

“Waa—Wolf! Don’t puke don’t puke! Don’t puke here! I wanted to say that the fish crate was already cleared and washed, so we wouldn’t have to squeeze with the fruits like this, and there’s so smell. Tsk, and I thought that stowing away with the food cargo was a good idea too… Oh, no, Wolf, someone’s coming!”

(...)

I’m really worried because there’s no telling when he’ll puke. And our knees have been knocking each other since just now, in a really painful way too.

“This place really is cramped, huh? A space like this can’t help but remind you of ‘Poison Lady Anissina’.”

“Ouch! Don’t stretch your legs! Forget about my Windpipe no 1, your sword gets in the way too… What? Why would you mention ‘Poison Lady Anissina’ at a time like this?”

“Because in 'the Mending of a Briefcase,' when a worker opened the lid, they found Anissina stuffed inside. I brought it if you wanna read it, here.”

Wolfram pulls out a particularly small, around Collector’s Edition sized book. Shouldn’t the cover be intricate leather, though?

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.4 --Just check this random Yuuri POV --

If Lady Cherie is the Love Huntress with the superb methods, then Miss Anissina is the WORLD WIDE Poison Lady who spreads everywhere? One is the beautiful leader of the Free Love Party, the other is the terrifying founder of the ‘Poison Lady Anissina’ cult.

It’s hard to commend either of them. And, I don't want either of them as my girlfriend.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.4 --In their tiny room--

Even though we’ve moved from the food storage to the cabin, we still spend each day in hiding. We’ve escaped from the darkness and suffocating space, but in a high-level kitchen apprentice’s room with only one bed, it doesn’t take much to guess that there won’t be an attached bathroom. So we have to keep our guard up whenever we want to go to the bathroom, even going in disguise lest we be noticed. Having tied up my black hair with a scarf, I feel like a weird chef with no nationality. As for Wolfram, he wore a white chef’s hat and immediately transformed into a cute little cook.

In the daytime when there are more people around, we can only mope around in the room, sometimes sleeping on the simple and small bed that looks like a stretcher, sometimes reading ‘Poison Lady Anissina’ carefully. I haven’t read a book so seriously in a long time, perhaps even since I read the baseball rule manual. I'd recited the long lines from memory and even gained the acting ability to differentiate between old people and little girls. After we get back, I’ll read it to Greta immediately. My reading skills have become surprisingly good, children’s books really are useful for beginners to the language.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.4 --Time and location, Wolf--

Once the sky goes dark, and the activity outside decreases, we’re free to enter and leave the room, as long as we’re careful. Just like how the dads would duck into the balcony to sneak a smoke, we’d stay on a corner of the deck for a breath. After letting the cold breeze blow past his cheeks, Wolfram finally recovers from his seasickness.(...)

Wolf and I loiter around a corner near the stern of the ship where no one patrols, not saying much. The crew’s merry singing and the steady rhythm of the waves fill my ears and become a calming melody.

(...)

“Yuuri.”

“Mm?”

“If you want to, go over there and have some fun.”

(...)

I unconsciously shake my head.

“…I don’t want to ruin their fun, and besides…”

Suddenly there are cheers, followed by enthusiastic applause—maybe someone’s having a drinking match. At that moment, even the corners of my lips lift naturally. Let’s just hope that no one collapses due to acute alcohol poisoning.

“Besides, it's not like I'm standing alone right now.”

“Hmph, you finally have some awareness as a leader?”

I can hear the purposely suppressed joy in his voice.

“It depends on the time and location, Wolf. Time and location.”

I really don’t know which one of us should be feeling embarrassed now.

“If you want to drink, why don’t you get some wine from the kitchen? It’s okay, you don’t have to abstain from alcohol just because I do. You’re already eighty-two, after all. It's fine if you just take care of your liver.”

“If I get drunk and end up interrogated by a certain someone, you’ll laugh at me for the rest of my life… Hey!”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.5 --After saving Zeta and Zusha--

“No, I’m not blaming you two.”

But I still can’t suppress this feeling. What I’m doing must be terrifying these poor children, who just had to fight for their lives, even more. If we could understand each other, at least I could still explain the reason. But under these circumstances, acting so emotional in front of them, really is a very bad move.

Since I can’t explain, I walk out of the room and lean on the railing in the night, noting that Wolfram had issued simple orders to stop Dacascos, who wanted to chase after me.

“Damn! You gotta be kidding me! What kind of a world is this?!”

(...)

Although the weather is not hot in the slightest, cold sweat beats up at the area next to my right eye. When I’m miserable to the point of using my shoulders to catch my breath, an energetic voice comes from behind me.

“Gotten it all off your chest yet?”

“As if!”

I grip the cold white railing, staring into the black waves as I speak, not looking at Wolfram no matter what. Then I purposely release a deep breath—seems like my heart rate has gone back to normal.

“…Sorry, I get too angry too easily. My personality really is straight and forward, heh.”

“I know.”

His calmness surprises me. Did his voice always sound like this? No, rather than his voice, the way he speaks has started to become like the eldest brother.

"I feel like... I'm always showing you my bad side."

"Really? But you took those children into consideration. That's worth respecting."

“Don’t compliment me. It’s only right.”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch5 --Preach--

“But, Wolf… I promise you, I won’t leave your side halfway through, this much I can guarantee.”

“Right.”

“So let me go.”

“What’s the point of you telling me?”

Wolf lifts his chin as he speaks, looking like a patriarch lecturing the disappointing son.

“But don’t forget, Yuuri, you’re the Maou, the king of the Shin Makoku. You want to fix all the injustices in the world, fine, but you can’t forget your country and people.”

“I never forgot.”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.6 --Complimenting Wolf--

Wolfram gives the perverted-looking Günter a hard kick from behind. The blonde-haired green-eyed pretty boy’s white clothes are completely different from the weird no-nationality cook’s get-up I’m in, he’s much cuter in comparison. On the tip of that white chef’s hat of his, I can almost imagine a tiny bird about to take flight, singing a crooked song.

(...)

Wolfram is a pretty boy just like an angel, but his blonde hair and emerald eyes that make you think of the bottom of a lake would never give anyone a feminine impression. Even those beautiful lips he inherited from his mother only prove to bring out his strong personality. Sunlight suits Lord von Bielefeld, making people want to run together with him.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.7

-Official meeting--

Wolfram kicked the back of my foot. Calm down, me. Quick, remember when you were chosen as the substitute oath-declarer at the Summer Games, and how you practiced every day for it. Although since I was only the substitute, when it came to the actual day all I could do was sit and listen.

(...)

I managed to keep a straight face, but on the inside I’m pitifully screaming ‘Eeeeeeee—’. The piercing gaze Wolfram is throwing at my back hurts. Instead of saying it's piercing like a needle, I should say it's like a crimson flame. No, wait! It's not just a glare, he's pinching me! He's pinching my butt!

(...)

A taste of bitterness welling from deep within my throat, the fist I’m gripping so tightly shaking uncontrollably. If it weren’t for Wolfram sitting on my right, stopping me, I would have long since grabbed Maxine’s shirt and pushed him to the wall.

(...)

I planned to introduce everyone beside me at once. So I turn to Wolfram. But he shakes his head slightly. He narrows his emerald eyes, even creases his stern brows, the picture of hostility.

(...)

“Your ship?”

Did he mention a ship just now?

On both sides, Günter and Wolfram won’t stop knocking my knees. It hurts, it really hurts!

“I don’t understand your signals!”

“Don’t go back! Just don’t go back for now!”

What?! That’s mean, Wolf. Is that something the officially-recognized fiancé should say?!

“We’ll stay for now. We agree to stay a few days in Saralegui City after you return from your trip!”

(...)

“Phew—Since it’s rare to have such a lavish breakfast, then I won’t hold back—Though it might have gotten cold by now. Wolf, pass that jam over there to me!”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.8 -Yuuri trying to save humans--

My tongue feels clumsy, my words slurring as though I’m drunk. When my hand is forcefully pulled away from the soldier’s body, not only am I unable to squat down myself, I practically fall backwards as though having slipped.

“How many times have I told you, it’s very dangerous to use maryoku on human land! How are you, does it hurt anywhere?”

"I forgot about-… Ah, I'm dizzy. Wait a sec. I'm not in pain anymore. It's just, um, I'm dizzy. If you just give me a minute, I'll, get better, soon."

Truth is, it was a struggle just to talk. I lean the back of my head on Wolfram’s chest, desperately trying to suppress the pain under my eyes. That pain is like the ache you get before a cold and a fever, it’s agonizing just trying to move a finger.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.8 -This effing scene gosh! You don't pay attention to the details when you're reading the whole thing--

“… Stop… Stop them, Wolf. Won’t it be bad if he gets hurt on human soil? Damn, why won’t my head stop spinning…”

“Who are you saying will get hurt? Conrart?”

“I mean both of them, but it really is rare to see Günter use a sword.”

I raise the head I was resting on Wolfram’s chest and try to break free from his grasp. If I can’t stand, I’ll walk over there on my knees or crawl there. I must stop this battle before either one of them gets hurt.

"If they fight seriously," Wolfram notices what I'm trying to do, supporting me with both hands as he says, "Then they'll probably be evenly matched or the one at a disadvantage will be Conrart."

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.8 -omg, it's like Wolfram is always there-

“That’s enough!”

I move before Wolfram can grab my clothes, rushing in between the two men. I throw my arms open wide, with my back facing Günter. I know who I should be standing in front of now, who I should be protecting. What I’m doing is right, absolutely not wrong.

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.9 - Because you're super cute-

Wolfram spreads the cloak out and scrutinizes it closely, even bringing it to his nose like a little rabbit sniffing at the fabric.

“Hmm.”

“Wolf… What are you sniffing it for? Saralegui did take a bath.”

“I'll use this one.”

“Eh, why? He purposely lent this to me, you know?” I look the third son from top to bottom. He has smooth cheeks that have never gotten tan and EMERALD GREEN eyes that remind me of the bottom of a lake. Compared to me, who's constantly outdoors practicing, his skin is so white it looks like it can’t bear direct sunlight.

“… On second thought, it might be better if you wear it. Alright, yeah, you take it. I don't mind if I get more tanned.” Because he's so fair, I ask him to wear the hood too and I pull it up until his blonde hair is hidden. Now he looks just like a light blue weather doll, and I can’t help but laugh with a ‘pfffft’.

“What? What are you laughing at, Yuuri?”

“Because you’re super cute-… No, I mean, it feels like the weather will be on our side. If we hang you from the mast, the entire journey might be sunny.”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.9 -The arrow scene -

I thought I’d get hit; I thought the bullet fired from a gun that wasn’t supposed to exist would go straight through my forehead, so I waited to be impaled without being able to move. I thought it was aimed for me. But— What follows is a sound like that of sticking a bat into the sand at the beach, a sound that is incredibly hard to describe. It's not a gunshot, nor the sound of a metal bullet destroying bone, passing through flesh, nor is it the sound of spattering blood. There’s no sign of a gunshot wound anywhere on my body. But in the corner of my left eye, there suddenly a flash of aqua blue. “… Wolf?” The hand that was grabbing mine suddenly slackens and the body next to me sways forward. “Wolf?!” He fell backwards onto the flaming deck. “Wolf? Wolf! Wolfram!” There’s a metal arrow sticking out of the middle of his chest, slightly to the left. “Wha-… Wolfram…? What do I do, what should I do…” “… careful… ahead…” He barely lifts his arm, pointing at the mast of a middle-sized ship. Even though his arm immediately falls back down powerlessly, I see a man wielding a bow there cutting the rope that tied him to the mast with a small knife after his job is done. So it was from that height and that distance that he attacked. It's not possible, but I saw his face. Although I might have just thought I did. All I saw was an unfriendly sanpaku, but I couldn't make out his face or hair color. Surprisingly, I’m not at all angry, just shivering uncontrollably in fear of loss. “Is it that man?” I lay Wolf down on my knees and lean over his body, putting my ear closer. It’s okay, he’s still breathing. He’s still breathing. “… Ki…nan…” “Eh, what? What are you talking about, I can’t hear you?! Can this be pulled out? Can I pull the arrow out?!” The tail of the arrow has brown and white stripes. Although we’re in a huge blazing fire, the metal arrow feels exceptionally cold when I grab it. The light blue cloak isn't stained with blood yet. If I carelessly pull the arrow out, I might cause extreme blood loss that could threaten his life instead. Wolfram gasps for breath. His face, contorted in pain from lack of air, is slowly becoming as white as paper. “… What do I do… Someone call a doctor… Günter! Günter!” But Günter just has to be hidden from sight by a wall of flames right now. I reach out my hand out to where the arrow is sticking out, wondering if I can do anything. At my slight touch, his already shallow breathing almost stops. “Wolf, hey, don't do this, please don't do this… At a time like this, don't joke around…” Isn’t maryoku meant for moments like this? That unexplainable power of mine, doesn’t it exist so that I can save him? Concentrate, forget about the commotion around you. I start imagining only Wolfram’s wound, ready to slowly accept his pain. I feel the blood flowing in my hands, my shoulders, and my chest, then I adjust my heartbeat to follow his. Just opening your eyes isn't enough. Read the weakened flow of his blood through your fingertips from his warmth and pulse. Even my breathing slows down and I stop feeling the heat of the fire as if a thin veil has separated the two of us from the outside world. “…W-Wolf…!” Lord von Bielefeld releases a heavy breath and then his whole head loses its strength. The face and eyes that were twitching with pain gradually stop moving and a painless breath leaves his lips. But my arm and heart are not drawing out his pain at all. “Wolf! Wait! What is this?! Why can’t I feel your pain, and the flow of your blood?! Hey, answer me! Say something! You can say it! You can say it as many times as you want! You can say that I'm a henachoko!”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.9 -The maou/ kiss scene-

Stop fooling around, Yuuri! I've told you over and over again not to use magic on human soil!” Wolfram, whose breathing had returned to normal, punches down hard on Ue-sama Mode Yuuri’s head. "How is this possible? You, the one called Puu[6], didn't you die?" “Don’t kill me off! I was just winded by the impact! We aren’t even married yet, how can I die!” No wonder even Yuuri couldn’t heal his wound. “Who knew you can be so active even with an arrow sticking out of your chest, don’t tell me you have the blood of an Arrow Mazoku… Ohhhhh, it’s pretty exciting to discover another new life form!” “Of course not!” Lord von Bielefeld holds the arrow he pulled out with one hand and reaches into his pocket with his right. There’s a deep hole through a thick Collector’s Edition novel.

(...)

“Snap out of it, Yuuri! Turn back into a rookie!” However, perhaps because he didn't get the chance to explode, Wolfram's current master could not come out of Ue-sama Mode. Even if he grabs the collar of the chef's outfit, all he can do is cough haughtily.

“*cough* It’s decided! *cough* No objections!”

Irritated, Wolfram makes a threat that would have made the usual Shibuya Yuuri write his initials on the tennis court with his tears.

“If you don’t revert back to normal right now, I’ll use the prince’s kiss to wake you up!”

“Today’s method of awak-… Phoosh…”

The sound of air deflating is emitted from my nose and ears, and my raised eyebrows successfully return to their original position. And so the manly young lord turns back into the average baseball boy.

“Hey, wait. You disliked (the kiss/the idea of a kiss) so much? I’m a little hurt.”

------------------------------------------------------------------ Novel 9. ch.10 - who's touchy touchy now-

“The boat’s sinking, quick, jump aboard!” I wrap my arm around Wolfram’s waist, then hold my breath to prepare to jump.

(...)

Wolfram roughly grabs my wrist and says simply, “Don’t worry so much, just go! And then you must return safely… Gurrier!”

Josak runs up to us, tossing away bucket of water and gripping a rope.

Just in case, he even tugs at the thing in his hand several times, replying as he tests its strength, “Here!”

“Protect Yuuri properly.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Yuuram in Novel : 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17

[yahoo-the-dagger-blog]

Sixty-eight predictions for the new college basketball season that are sure to come true (unless they don't)

The specter of the FBI investigation will hang over not just Arizona but this entire college basketball season. (Getty)

College basketball season tips off Friday night with all but four Top 25 teams in action. To celebrate the end of the offseason, here are 68 fearless predictions for the new season.

1. The FBI investigation will overshadow the games just as it has the buildup to this college basketball season. Four of the top 16 teams in the preseason AP poll have already been ensnared and more marquee programs will also likely be entangled as the investigation continues and the 10 men arrested start cutting deals to avoid jail time. Waiting to learn who’s accused next will be more compelling than this season’s most seismic upsets or dramatic buzzer beaters.

2. No longer should the SEC be mocked as Kentucky, Florida and everyone else. This will be the deepest and strongest SEC in years, with Texas A&M, Alabama, Missouri, Vanderbilt and Ole Miss each capable of not only making the NCAA tournament but perhaps doing some damage too.

3. Is Wisconsin poised for a fall after graduating every proven player besides All-American candidate Ethan Happ? Or will the Badgers simply plug a new set of perimeter players into their system and churn out their usual 25 wins? The guess here is somewhere in between. I think Wisconsin’s streak of top-four Big Ten finishes ends, but sophomore D’Mitrik Trice and freshmen Kobe King and Brad Davison provide enough in support of Happ to comfortably send the Badgers to the NCAA tournament.

4. Exhibition loss that will be forgotten by Thanksgiving: Carleton 77, Providence 67. The Friars were shorthanded and unmotivated, and the seven-time Canadian national champs made them pay. Once the regular season starts, expect Providence to resemble the team that reached the NCAA tournament last season and thumped UConn in its other preseason exhibition.

5. Exhibition loss that’s a sign of things to come: Barry University 100, Auburn 95. This was supposed to be the year that Auburn ascended in the SEC standings under Bruce Pearl, but the fallout from the FBI scandal has thrown all that into doubt. Two key starters are already suspended indefinitely amid eligibility concerns and things could get worse as the investigation continues.

6. It’s unlikely this FBI probe will incite anymore long-lasting change than previous scandals have. College presidents and athletic directors will speak of the importance of eradicating cheating in college athletics … until it’s their ultra-successful head coach in the crosshairs. Then they’ll defend him vehemently, cite his spotless track record and scapegoat a rogue assistant until the evidence renders it impossible, anything to avoid having to fire a winning head coach who rakes in money for the university.

7. The message to other coaches will be clear: Win by any means necessary, and you’ll have job security.

8. Also don’t expect meaningful reform from the committee NCAA president Mark Emmert created to clean up college basketball. Not only do most members lack firsthand knowledge of how cheating in the sport occurs, many also were handpicked by Emmert because they have similar views on college athletics as he does. Examining the NCAA’s outdated concept of amateurism isn’t on the agenda. College basketball’s thriving black market surrounding elite prospects won’t become a free market anytime soon.

9. Kentucky will still be a factor in the title race by March, but it may take longer than usual for these young Wildcats to blossom. Only one rotation player from last season returns: Forward Wenyen Gabriel, who averaged 4.6 points per game. Relying mostly on talented freshmen will likely be a recipe for the unpredictable. Expect some impressive wins and head-scratching losses.

10. Coach who will be in demand next spring: Rhode Island’s Dan Hurley. The Rams made the NCAA tournament for the first time in 19 seasons last March. This year, they’re favored to win the Atlantic 10 and they return a backcourt capable of doing some damage in the postseason.

11. Coach who will be out of work next spring: Brad Brownell, Clemson. The Tigers haven’t made the NCAA tournament since 2011 and they’re projected to finish 13th in the ACC this season. Unless Brownell exceeds expectations on the court or makes a recruiting splash by landing Zion Williamson, it’s tough to see him keeping his job.

12. Coach on the hot seat who will keep his job: Jim Christian, Boston College. The Ky Bowman-Jerome Christian backcourt ought to be able to make just enough headway in the loaded ACC to buy Christian another year.

13. A lot of people are projecting Saint Mary’s to unseat Gonzaga atop the WCC. I’m not one of them. The Zags will miss the steady leadership of Nigel Williams-Goss and the rim protection of Przemek Karnowski and Zach Collins, but four of the top eight players from last year’s national runner-ups return and some talented younger guys are ready to make an impact. Gonzaga will be fine.

14. Here’s another reason to stick with Gonzaga: It’s easy to envision Saint Mary’s regressing a bit defensively without graduated seniors Joe Rahon and Dane Pineau. The Gaels could even be more efficient on offense this season with Jordan Ford, Cullen Neal and Evan Fitzner absorbing some of those minutes, but they’ll miss Pineau’s interior defense and Rahon’s ability as a perimeter stopper.

Michigan State’s Miles Bridges poses during the NCAA college basketball team’s media day, Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2017, in East Lansing, Mich. (AP Photo/Al Goldis)

15. ACC breakout star: Kyle Guy, Virginia

16. American Athletic Conference breakout star: Alterique Gilbert, UConn

17. Atlantic 10 breakout star: Xeyrius Williams, Dayton

18. Big East breakout star: Donte DiVincenzo, Villanova

19. Big Ten breakout star: Justin Jackson, Maryland

20. Big 12 breakout star: Donovan Jackson, Iowa State

21. Mountain West breakout star: Nico Carvacho, Colorado State

22. Pac-12 breakout star: Malachi Flynn, Washington State

23. SEC breakout star: Breein Tyree, Ole Miss

24. Expect video of Grayson Allen’s every move to be painstakingly examined on social media as though it were the Zapruder film. The Duke standout brought that on himself with his penchant for tripping opposing players the past two seasons.

25. Expect Allen to behave himself better this season and finish a rollercoaster college career on a high note. He returned to school for his senior year knowing he’d face more scrutiny than any other player in the country. Now it’s up to him to learn from his past mistakes and show he can handle it.

26. Dominating the glass at both ends has traditionally been part of North Carolina’s formula for success, but the Tar Heels return only former walk-on Luke Maye from last year’s frontcourt. While Roy Williams may start 6-foot-9 freshman Garrison Brooks alongside Maye, North Carolina will be at its best when it breaks with tradition and goes small. Look for the Tar Heels to finish games with three guards on the floor and 6-8 wing Cameron Johnson sliding to power forward.

27. Football schools that will have more success on the court than the gridiron this year: Florida, Florida State

28. Basketball schools that will have more success on the gridiron than the hardwood this year: Memphis, Iowa State

29. VCU will continue to compete for Atlantic 10 titles long term under new coach Mike Rhoades, but a small step backward this season might be tough to avoid. A lack of interior defense or outside shooting could leave the Rams on the wrong side of the NCAA tournament bubble this March.

30. Dayton also might be due for a fall this season after graduating last season’s three double-digit scorers and losing coach Archie Miller to Indiana. Defense should be a strength under new coach Anthony Grant, but a lack of proven shot creators in the backcourt could prevent the Flyers from contending in the Atlantic 10 or securing a fifth straight NCAA bid.

31. Where does that leave the Atlantic 10 then? In jeopardy of sending two or fewer teams to the NCAA tournament for the first time in more than a decade. League favorite Rhode Island should return to the NCAA tournament and do some damage. St. Bonaventure’s potent backcourt gives it the best chance to join the Rams.

Grayson Allen will be college basketball’s most recognizable and polarizing player this season. (AP)

32. Freshmen who will have the biggest impact this season: Missouri’s Michael Porter, Duke’s Marvin Bagley, Arizona’s DeAndre Ayton.

33. Freshmen ranked outside the top 10 who will have the biggest impact this season: Oklahoma’s Trae Young, Oregon’s Troy Brown and Iowa State’s Lindell Wigginton

34. Freshmen ranked outside the top 40 who will have the biggest impact this season: Stanford’s Daejon Davis, Iowa’s Luka Garza and Texas’ Matt Coleman

35. With Wichita State having left for the stronger American Athletic Conference this past offseason, the Valley appears unlikely to produce more than one NCAA tournament team this year. Missouri State could be the class of the league, but the Bears didn’t assemble a strong enough non-league schedule to give themselves hope of an at-large bid.

36. Preseason Top 25 team that could disappoint: Texas A&M. I want to believe in the Aggies. They have the SEC’s most talented frontcourt. But point guard play was a season-long issue for A&M a year ago, and newcomer J.J. Caldwell is suspended for the season’s first five games. Projected lottery pick Robert Williams will also sit two games and two other starters were suspended for Friday’s exhibition game. That’s a lot of red flags from a team that should be locked in and focused after badly underachieving a year ago.

37. Team outside the preseason Top 25 that could surprise: Oregon. History suggests Oregon will surpass preseason expectations under Dana Altman. History suggests Altman always finds a way to reload on the fly. Put me on the side of history even though Oregon returns only one of its top seven players from last year’s Final Four team. Behind Peyton Pritchard and a bevy of talented transfers and freshmen, the Ducks will find a way.

38. If Georgetown finishes above anyone besides DePaul in the Big East this year, that should be considered a wildly successful debut season for new coach Patrick Ewing. The Big East boasts eight NCAA tournament contenders and the Hoyas’ beleaguered backcourt is too big a mess for them to compete.

39. The Mountain West won’t reach its former heights until flagship programs UNLV and New Mexico return to prominence, but it at least should send multiple teams to the NCAA tournament for the first time in three years. Look for Nevada and San Diego State to both land bids.

40. Team that will make the biggest jump from last year to this year: Missouri. Could heralded freshman Michael Porter Jr. take the Tigers to the NCAA tournament after the worst three-year stretch in program history? It’s definitely possible. Missouri has the talent to finish in the upper third of the SEC if Cuonzo Martin can get his influx of promising newcomers to mesh quickly with a handful of key returners.

41. Team that will take the biggest fall from last year to this year: South Carolina. A Gamecocks team coming off a surprise Final Four run lost its two stalwarts last spring when Sindarius Thornwell graduated and P.J. Dozier turned pro. Three other guards from last season are also gone, leaving a giant hole in the backcourt. In a year in which the SEC is unusually deep and talented, South Carolina may struggle to avoid a bottom-four finish.

42. South Dakota State’s Mike Daum will lead college basketball in scoring this season. The 6-foot-9 forward’s combination of efficient post play and lethal perimeter shooting is almost unstoppable at the mid-major level. He should eclipse the 25.1 points per game he averaged last year and perhaps make a run at the 30-point mark.

43. Five transfers who will make the biggest impact this season: Malik Newman (Mississippi State to Kansas), Charles Matthews (Kentucky to Michigan), Cameron Johnson (Pittsburgh to North Carolina), Elijah Brown (New Mexico to Oregon), Marcus Lee (Kentucky to Cal)

44. UCLA’s Thomas Welsh will be one of the nation’s few 7-footers with a green light to hoist 3-pointers. College basketball’s mid-range king has expanded his range to behind the arc, making him even more lethal on pick-and-pops and further clearing driving lanes for UCLA’s array of athletic guards and wings.

45. A scandal-related suspension could almost be a blessing in disguise for talent-laden USC. The Trojans are two deep at every position, but if they’re at full strength, finding enough shots and playing time to keep everyone happy could be a season-long issue.

46. Missouri’s Cuonzo Martin will have the most immediate success of any new coach this season, but the hire I like best longterm is Indiana’s Archie Miller. In the next few years, he should have Indiana contending for Big Ten titles with a level of consistency that Tom Crean struggled to muster.

47. Small-conference team that could win a game or two in the NCAA tournament: Vermont. The Catamounts return four starters and most of their key reserves from a 29-win team that went undefeated in league play last season and was within striking distance of Purdue until the closing minutes of their first-round NCAA tournament game last March.

48. BYU’s Yoeli Childs will blossom into one of the WCC’s top players this season. The bouncy 6-8 forward blocks shots, skies for rebounds and finishes emphatically above the rim. He’s at his best throwing down lob passes from T.J. Haws, but he’s also developing a post-up game and range out to the 3-point arc.

Gonzaga’s Johnathan Williams will try to lead the Zags back to the NCAA tournament (AP)

49. Maui Invitational prediction: Notre Dame over Wichita State

50. Wooden Legacy prediction: Saint Mary’s over San Diego State

51. 2KSports Classic prediction: Virginia Tech over Providence

52. Orlando Classic prediction: West Virginia over Missouri

53. NIT Season Tip-Off prediction: Seton Hall over Virginia

54. Diamondhead Classic prediction: USC over Miami

55. Battle 4 Atlantis prediction: Villanova over Arizona

56. PK80 (Victory Bracket): Michigan State over North Carolina

57. PK80 (Motion Bracket): Duke over Florida

58. Two encouraging signs from Villanova’s exhibition rout of Drexel last week: Omari Spellman owned the paint at both ends of the floor and Phil Booth logged 28 minutes without his lingering knee injuries flaring up. If those trends continue against tougher competition, Villanova will win a fifth straight Big East title and contend for a second national title in three years.

59. The ACC will produce more NCAA tournament bids than any other league next season. Eight bids is realistic with Duke, Miami, North Carolina, Louisville and Notre Dame seemingly locks and Virginia, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, NC State and Florida State all capable of joining them.

60. Mid-major star whose name you’ll know by March: Tyler Hall, Montana State. The same league that produced Damian Lillard has another legitimate NBA prospect. Hall, a late-blooming 6-4 guard, showed a knack for scoring efficiently at all three levels as a sophomore last season, terrorizing the Big Sky by averaging 23.1 points and shooting 42.9 percent from behind the arc.

61. The ACC will win its challenge with the Big Ten for a second straight year, this time by a narrow 8-6 margin. Before last year’s ACC victory, the Big Ten had won or tied the previous seven challenges.

62. First-team All-Americans: G Devonte Graham (Kansas), G Joel Berry (North Carolina), F Miles Bridges (Michigan State), F Michael Porter (Missouri), F Bonzie Colson (Notre Dame)

63. Second-team All-Americans: G Jalen Brunson (Villanova), G Allonzo Trier (Arizona), F Trevon Bluiett (Xavier), F Marvin Bagley (Duke), C Ethan Happ (Wisconsin)

64. Conference title predictions: Duke (ACC), Cincinnati (AAC), Villanova (Big East), Michigan State (Big Ten), Kansas (Big 12), Arizona (Pac-12), Florida (SEC)

65. Most compelling conference title race: American Athletic Conference. It could be a two-horse race between Cincinnati and newcomer Wichita State, but watch out for UConn and SMU. Both have the guard play to jump into the fray.

66. Early men’s Final Four projection: Duke, Michigan State, Villanova, Kansas

67. Early women’s Final Four projection: UConn, South Carolina, Notre Dame, Baylor

68. Most of these preseason predictions will probably be wrong. The most fun part of college basketball is that it always defies expectation.

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Jeff Eisenberg is the editor of The Dagger on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at daggerblog@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!

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