#like when a show is written differently or a youtuber makes different content

[xclowniex]

So there is a post going around with a realy suspicious map, and OP of the post has me blocked so here is a link to their post since I cannot reblog it.

Okay so, I looked into this as from my own experience the map looked suspicious.

The orignal post of the map has been deleted. You can find the deleted post on reddit about it here.

I managed to find a repost of the map on tumblr, which had linked to the deleted reddit post, and you can find the repost of the orignal map here. Now onto debunking OP's claim of the map.

The title of the map is not solely about the west bank, it is about full john oliver episodes being unavailable in countries. Not just the west bank episode, all full episodes.

When I try to watch the video, i get the below error from youtube

Yep your eyes do see correctly. It is the uploader who made it unavailable. This means that either John Oliver himself, his production team or HBO who has the rights to his show, decided to make his content not available to be viewed in certain countries.

A comment on the reddit post which I think people should read is

"The title of this post makes many people think OP means ‘countries that have banned this’. Instead, this is just ‘countries where a network pays for the broadcast rights for this show’. The highlighted countries are ones where the show is most popular. The blank countries are where it’s not popular, so they give it away for free to try to drum up support"

Aka this is not purposeful censorship by (((zionists)) like tumblr op is trying to frame it. Its not keeping what happens in the west bank a secret. It is a decision made by someone in charge of the show, to make as much money as possible. Which still sucks! But, it sucks for different reasons than what tumblr OP is alluding to.

3. Tumblr OP is being antisemitic. Whilst it is definately written in a more subtle way, it is still invoking the whole "jews control the media" trope. A well known antisemitic trope is still antisemitic even if "jew" is replaced with "zionist". This is because whilst not every use of "zionist" is a proxy word of jew, it happens more than you think, to the point where meta (instagram and facebook) updated their hate speech policy to puroposefully include "zionist when its being used as proxy (aka dogwhistle) for jew is now hate speech on our platform". Meta still allows it to be used when talking about zionism as a political ideology, and have only banned the use of it as a proxy for jew.

OP of this post has already blocked me (only found out when i saw this post), so I wanna thank @coffeeconcentrate for reblogging this and not having me blocked so I can actually have a chance at reaching even a small group of people to make them aware of this so they don't fall for this poorly made post.

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[goddessxeffect]

« INTRO: AWAKEN TO (YOUR)SELF »

A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO ALL THINGS CONSCIOUSNESS

This blog used to be a journal in the process of self realization of it's creator but has yet turned out to be a collection of sources and information guiding you too on your way back to your true Being. It all started with the question: “Who are you really?” and the realization that reality is not what it seems. I'm at a point now where I do not follow any teachings or concepts anymore nor did I consent in strictly deviding law of assumption from non dualism in the past. Nowadays, I see myself as an advocate for Self-realization. That being said, I really want to distance myself from any "new age manifestation/law of assumption" (do this to get xyz) teachings practised on youtube or tiktok.

I did create my own content in the past but stopped because there is nothing new to say and my understanding has deepened. Posts and annotations written by me are easily recognisable by my typical colour code, which is obviously displayed here. I only answer questions for understanding or clarification, guidelines here.

HOW TO START

Advaita Vendata (Non Dualism): an Introduction

Core of non dual understanding

If everything is consciousness, I am everything and everything is me? I still feel like "me", I don't feel like god of my reality How to become aware(ness) How to control the thoughts How to be free from emotions and thoughts Stop concerning yourself with the wants and needs of Ego How to loose attachment to Ego What you really are How to be Consciousness/ Awareness

In the end, the only question remaining should be who you are without all the labels attached to "I am". You will come to discover you do not want freedom from this shape alone, but from all shapes. Be aware of your past being over. "External world shows otherwise? Just be like "for how long do you think it can keep this up when you have nothing to do with it?" @Ada

MY CONTENT/ EPIPHANIES

You can experience pain in your life but you don’t have to ‘suffer’ the pain.”  - Anon I mus

#masterpost, #goddessawakening

» Mosaic » Be yourself first »"Manifesting" » Freedom » Being » Why everbody misinterprets Self concept » Is there a real difference? »Misidentification » Consciousness & Limitation » No others » Question Reality » Missing » Ego & Time

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

... what to find on my blog through the tags

Advise/FAQs: Koda, Nova, iam-you, Cassie, Bry, Jag, Vesora, Lain, more What is Ego? How it feels to be Self / Awareness All on Self Realization and Detachment All on LOA trough a non dualistic view Books

If you still want to focus on "getting your desires" after been through all the info, search Neville Goddard (all his books and lectures). If you have a hard time understanding Neville, I advise some people who break down his teachings in a short and modern way of speaking: Edward Art (Reddit(Series), Audio), embodythestate, niclasupgradetolife, Josiah Brandt on YouTube

[nostalgebraist]

There's something very charming and unique about this Youtube show called "Resonant Arc"

It's just like, these two pleasant dudebro-ish type guys talking about video games, mostly JRPGs.

But it's very different in flavor from most "gaming content" on the modern internet. They take everything seriously. Just going off their tone, their willingness to go slow and pay close attention, and their level of charity towards the material, you'd think they were in a book club reading Dostoevsky or something.

They do background research. They comb through the dialogue line by line, animated by an unspoken presumption that it makes sense and conveys a unified artistic meaning.

I started watching their Xenogears series at a random point partway through, and the video started out with a 10-minute explanation of some molecular biology concepts occasioned by a single line that mentioned introns and exons, including a section edited in during post-production to clarify that non-coding DNA probably has a function and isn't merely "junk."

The whole thing is like that! The video linked in this post is the first one in the series, it's two hours long, and they don't even start playing the game. Instead they talk about the game's development history, its difficult localization process and how it spurred later improvements in Square's practices around localization, the role of phatic expression in the Japanese language, etc., etc.

It's like, the exact kind of analysis that I (and you?) felt these games deserved back when I (we?) were playing them as 15-year-old dweebs. And executed exactly as I (we?) would have wanted it: not as some ancient effortpost written on a phpBB forum, probably by some other pimply 15-year-old -- no, as two well-groomed, well-spoken adults talking about these games in this way for hours as though it's the most natural thing in the world. Perfect. No notes.

[chaifootsteps]

been watching that video someone sent in before while eating dinner (the "hazbin hotel sucks and that makes me sad video") and i honest to god have no complaints about it so far, aside from the begining disclaimer.

like im sorry, but its so fucking infuriating to hear SO many reviews say, "i wont talk about the drama outside the show," followed by, 9 times out of 10, a section completely dedicated to angel dust and how badly the execution of his story was butchered. "this feels written by the perspective of someone who thinks it's cool to be gay and abused," "angels suffering feels prolonged", etc.

like, yeah, i dunno man. couldnt possibly understand why they fucked that part of the story up so bad. why dont you ask the guy that storyboarded posion, has drawn angel being horribly raped and hypnotized, influenced the actual masquerade episodes dialogue with his fucked up fan comic, changed his name to tony when he started doing sex work, and admitted to never going through any of the trauma angel has? why not ask viv, who lied about raph being sexually assaulted (or, was telling the truth, and used his recent assault as a way to shield herself from critique,) who infamously doesnt research her characters designs or backgrounds, and called her rapist character "bubbles coded" and "a stupid mean girl" on twitter?

i just have to wonder, why? if youve already had to put a disclaimer that you dont intend to harass anyone for your disagreeing opinions on this stupid ass show, then why not acknowledge whos fault it is for this happening? why protect them? why not, i dunno, let two 30 year olds be held accountable for using millions of dollars to make a completely unnecessary rape music video? its not like anyone else is going to. you might as well use your platform to say something different besides, "poison and masquerade is really uncomfortable and gross. i will not discuss why this is. i will instead discuss the content itself only and intelligently put into words why i feel this way," for the 50th time on youtube.

Gotta agree with you on this one. If anyone ever makes a video critiquing HH that pulls no punches, please link me to it.

[unreadpoppy]

bg3, infographics, misogyny and you

Preface: this is a long ass post that I wrote some many weeks ago, and that because of some stuff I've seen, I'm compelled to finally post it. It's very like a spurn of the moment thing, not extremely well thoght out but I still think it's relevant.

.

Recently, a few people have posted some, in my opinion, really insightful infographics showing the difference in content to how many works (in AO3) there are to the female characters vs the male characters of BG3 and I've been thinking about how it relates to fandom in general, but also...everything.

As a quick rundown, what happens is: almost all of the female characters have a lot less content when compared to their male counterparts (at least writing wise). And I think this is a great moment to stop and think on why is that.

There's a lot of point to begin with but I want to begin with something larger and that is the society most of us are raised in. Obviously, I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's fair to say that most people grew up in places that had its fair share of sexism and give it or take, that does shape how we view the world.

I'll speak from my own experience. Even thought I had a mostly liberal upbriging, I went to a very conservative school and when I was growing up, I saw a lot of videos on youtube that anaylized media in what i can only describe as "god forbid women do anything". Video after video, I saw people commenting on how x female character was a mary sue, how she made no sense and ruined the plot, so many video essays on the """strong female character trope"""" that would end up just enforcing gender roles again. And I'll be honest, this DID affect how viewed female characters.

The best example I can give of this is with bg3 itself. There was one day that I stopped and realized that Minthara was the first time I ever obsessed over a fem character as much as any male character. And the second thought I had after this was 'oh my god why???'

Why did I always cater more to the male characters than I did to the female ones, when most of the times, I liked a lot as well?

I'd like to point out that I've seen the topic of "Most fic authors are cis straight women" being brought up a lot and frankly, I'm not the biggest fan of it. First, because I think it's overall a very...heteronormative way of seeing stuff and it's assuming a lot of stuff that puts a sour taste on my mouth (as a queer woman myself, I really don't like that implication but that's on me). Second, because saying that 'obviously women are going to write more about men' feels very...weird. Third, I just think that this argument fails to really question the why of it all and gives too simple an answer to something is anything but.

One can make the argument that these female characters are written differently than the men, and yes that is true and it's even historical (I wrote a whole project on the invisibility of women in theater through the ages and a lot of it has to do with how women were written, but that's a story for another time).

But I don't think that's true for all cases. It's easy to blame an imaginary writer's room than question that you might have internal biases.

Because at least it's what happened to me. I grew up hearing how female characters were inferior to the male characters and it affected how I viewed them. It's something I had to stop and reevalute and it led me to appreciate characters I once loathed.

And it sucks to realize that. It sucks to realize that even as a woman myself, I was not immune to commiting sexism, that I hadn't fully outgrown the shit I saw as a kid. Does that make me a bad person? No. You're not to blame for being raised in a way that leads you to have certain prejudices.

But it doesn't mean you can't do anything about it.

And no, the solution is not to suddenly go write a bunch of femslash. Because no one is saying that you should feel ashamed for writing more for men, or forcing you to like female characters. But, I ask you to do something much simpler.

Think on the why. Why, even when we love female characters, we don't show them as much love as we do to the male ones. Why we might feel more compelled to write for the men than for the women. Because sometimes it's questioning ourselves that we can find something about us we didn't know and change how we engage with media.

And you can brush this off as just fandom stuff, but I think it does, in some ways, also reflect a bit on how we act as whole as a society. Hell, writing this whole thing made me think of how the way I was raised still interferes with my own sexuality (which is a very personal topic for me to get on here but it was worth mentioning). What I'm trying to say is that sometimes something small is an easier way for us to understand the bigger, systemic issues around us.

I know that it sounds like there's nothing to be done cause fandoms have always been like this. But, personally, this sort of conformity to the norm causes more harm then good. Things won't change unless you decide to do something about it. And the good thing about fandom is that it's small enough that doing literally anything can create some impact than, I don't know, trying to solve big, real life societal issues.

This is getting long so I'm gonna try to wrap this up quickly. No one is shaming you if you write or obsesses more or even care more about male characters than you do female ones. I just ask you to think about it and be honest with yourself. Because then maybe, just maybe, next time you engage with another media, you might end up enjoying a female character much more and obsessing over them just as much.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Dude… are you ok? Cause you’re kind of interpreting this whole thing as something deep when it really isn’t.

Hello, welcome to my blog.

I interpret things deeply when they shouldn't be, FOR FUN how are you doing?

loooool.

Like, It is a silly little youtube show, and the writers are on a time crunch and everything is likely half improv half written in a day. And they've done this for two years going on three.

So I don't expect expert writing. And I have nothing but the MASSIVE respect for the voice actors, writers and everyone involved.

I was even disappointed by how KC and Bloodmoon were handled too. So it's not the first time I've been disappointed by which direction the show takes.

But the over-analysis is literally for fun.

I am legit having fun.

But honestly? At the same time I don't think I'm okay.

I get super emotional when Robots replace other Robots with something with different memories with the same face. I was pretty much the same way when OldMoon died too.

I could go into a trauma dump on why this whole thing upsets me so much, but no one on tumblr needs to hear that. I honestly do understand the other side of the fandom that do take the Celestial Family's side in this whole thing (which I don't think there should be sides to begin with. lol) For me, personally, the whole thing happened way too quickly for me to understand how people are behaving in the way they did.

It's a conflict of me being unable to buy into the narrative because of how quick everything transpires.

And I can run here and chase my tail and do the "You are not me and I am not you" thing all day so ofc we have different thoughts on things but I think that is part of what makes the Sun and Moon show so special to me and a lot of other people

So? I overreact and relate to a character because I find their situation extremely relatable?

GOOD. FANTASTIC even.

It means that the Youtube Channel that makes content for shock value got me to FEEL something.

They are doing their job as intended, and the show will move on.

Nothing but respect and the highest regards they've been able to keep the show going for so long.

If things get stale for them, a new villain shows up, someone dies, or something in the status quo changes. They have to keep it fresh. This is nothing new. It's another evolution.

And honestly, I'll leave when I want to leave. I know my limits, and for now, Color me intrigued to see where all this is going...

[cameronprincess]

Valentine’s Day Plans

Word Count: 1,000+

Warnings: Strong Language

AN: Okay what if i said this is my favorite fic I’ve ever written. Maybe it’s because Cal is my cheat lane as well. Happy reading and hope you all enjoy<3

————

February 13th 2019

Daniella Walker. The name that is mainstream as she was making her way into the music scene as what the internet calls their "pop princess."

Daniella first had internet fame how everyone does in the early 2010's, by posting on Youtube. From the age of 16 she started posting covers of her singing different popular songs at the time ranging from Halsey to Ariana Grande. First viral video being her cover of Honeymoon Avenue from the album Yours Truly.

Her life changed at 19 when one of her self produced songs called Speechless dropped and became an overnight sensation. Flying from her home country of London, England to countless radio interviews to her first American Music Awards as an attendee and performer at.

That’s when she met some of her longtime friends in the music industry, 5 Seconds of Summer. She met them because she accidentally bumped into a red haired Micheal as she was coming off stage and they were about to take the stage. The two gushing over much they enjoyed each other’s music.

She was a huge Amnesia fan.

Over the years they continued to keep contact with one another. She was featured on their 3rd album Youngblood on their song Want You Back as backing vocals.

Daniella had also become a regular feature in 5SOS content. As well as being posted on their respective girlfriend’s Instagram’s pretty frequently.

For a little while she was considered a groupie when she went to Bali with them in 2016. Until stan twitter quickly defended her from the trolls on the internet claiming how do they not know her.

She was now 24 standing in line at her favorite local coffee and bagel spot in downtown Los Angeles. The line continued move at a slow pace as she hummed along to the beat in her airpods she been sent the night previous. She was absolutely in love with it. She had a studio session set with Max Martin that she definitely couldn't be late for.

He's worked with artists like Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande, and Britney Spears.

It's been a dream of hers to work with him and only her 3rd album that is saying she's gotta be doing something right.

She finally approached Bailey, one of the cashiers she had blossomed a friendship from after being a regular here for 4 months.

"Everything bagel with a side of strawberry cream cheese and Iced Americano double shot with light ice and vanilla creamer!" She shouted to the back. "Hey Daniella."

A smile was plastered on her face. "Hey girlfriend! You'll never believe what I've got planned today." She started as she dug in her purse for her card to hand over for her to swipe.

"Please you're literally a pop star. If you told me you were going to meet up with Kim Kardashian I would probably believe you." She stated in her strong jersey accent as she handed the card back.

"No I wish, but on my bucket list though, maybe I could get a discount on those Skims bodysuits I like. Anyways besides the point here, somehow managed to get a studio session with Max Martin! And cherry on top, the guys are showing up with Ryan fucking Tedder.” She said excitedly as she moved off to the side of the line so other people could move.

"See this is what I mean. It's Thursday at nine in the morning and you're going to work with your hot Australian friends and I'm here covered in flour all day while dealing with the bitches in the back and isn't Max Martin that Swedish dude who's written and produced for basically every A list singer." She leaned against the register.

"Yeah it's so exciting is it not. And Alexis you're so talented at making bagels. Hone in on that." She joked making the curly haired blonde roll her eyes in fake annoyance.

“Your accent makes this sound all posh Dani.”

“Oh whatever.”

"Your beautiful everything bagel and iced coffee m'lady." Bailey turned around to the kitchen workers as she handed her two paper bags one full of her favorite little snacks and the other with her bagel.

"Oh my goodness, you didn't have to do th-." She started.

"Oh please shut up yes I did. You're gonna be late with the hot guys.”

“Text me when you can, I'd love to hear all about it." She smiled.

"Will do."

As she was on the highway on the way to the studio her mind was clouded with thoughts some negative some positive, but mostly negative.

Before she knew it she was finding a parking spot and walking into Capitol Records.

Showing security her badge, she looked down at her Apple Watch and cursed, realizing she was going to be late if she didn’t climb the stairs in under 2 minutes. Thank god for her zumba classes she’s been taking.

Once she figured out what studio she was gonna be in for the next 6 hours, she spotted his long hair and glasses talking to Ryan and the four men sat in the couch in the corner. All of them laughing at something on Luke's phone. She knocked bringing their attention to her standing at the door slightly out of breath.

"Daniella! Pleasure to finally meet you." Max said getting up from the comfy chair to give her hug.

"So nice to meet you too. I'm so incredibly excited and I also see you've invited some of my good friends." She stated nudging Ryan's elbow.

"He had a lot of positive things to say about you." He said sitting back down.

"Daniella you probably know them," Ryan gestured to the men sitting on the couch.

"Know them. These guys are basically a second family to me." She joked.

"I hope you don't mind that I decided to bring them along here to hopefully do some live instrumentals for ya." He told her looking at her with a smile.

"Oh my goodness not at all! It actually sounds so cool. I’ve missed these guys." She smiled widely.

Micheal stood up and gave her a brotherly hug. “Have you gotten shorter?” He joked making Daniella give him the bird.

“Haven’t you gotten weirder.”

“Touché.”

Ashton was next, giving her another squeeze and pat on the head.

Then Luke who did their handshake they made up in Bali together, that neither of them forgot even after 4 years.

Finally it was Calum who smiled at her first and then suddenly picked up her up and spun her around in a circle, earning a loud laugh from Daniella and his signature smile that she still got butterflies from.

Even after her 6 years of knowing him, he still makes her blush like a school girl.

“Alright everyone let’s get to work to hear this beautiful voice of hers.” Max stated turning around and facing the recording booth as Daniella walked in and put on her headphones.

Two hours passed as Daniella stood in the recording booth, recording the second verse. She was mumbling the possible verse in the microphone. The song had a Lorde lyricism with Ariana Grande singing vibe.

She and Max had titled the song Selfish. Max and Ryan giving her corrections if needed. Other than the couple comments or corrections from the group she had total artistic freedom and she loved that.

“Could we leave that first half blank of that chorus and I’ll stack some more vocal layers on that run.” Daniella suggested over the noise of the metronome. “Thank you.”

“Yup sounds amazing.”

While Ryan was stacking her vocals, she leaned next to Ashton's drum kit and told him what pace she needed for the chorus.

Calum was fiddling with his bass strings trying to tune them when Daniella walked over. “So what’s your big opinion on it??”

“I think it sounds bloody brilliant.” He said in a Scottish accent.

“Don’t make fun of the Scottish people.”

“You always seem to forget I’m half Scottish and you’re literally British.” He laughed as she hit his tattooed arm slightly.

Max leaned into Micheal's headset, "Okay Mike start from when Daniella comes in at "I used to be cautious about this and stop when the beat drops back down to the acoustic version that we have prepared.”

3 more hours passed as their session ended and Daniella so proud of the song they had made and gotten mastered.

"Alright, could we schedule another one for Friday morning? We’ve got selfish crossed off the list. We could get started on Messier Things as well." Max asked her looking at his calendar.

She nodded with a thumbs up. "That should work with me."

"It was so good to finally see you guys today. What’s new in the wonderful world of 5SOS land." She asked the boys as they were walking to a lunch spot on the less crowded side of LA so the likelihood of them all being noticed and ambushed by paparazzi was a zero percent chance.

“Going on a promo tour for Easier. Thats literally all. New York, LA, Atlanta, and some overseas.” Ashton said laughing.

"Well whatt are you guys doing for the day of love that happens to be tomorrow." She asked wiggling her fingers together.

"Spending time with Sierra." Luke quickly answered with a smile. He loves that woman more than air it seems. But it’s good to see him so happy.

"Crystal wants to go see some new movie." Micheal stated with a raised eyebrows. He probably had no clue but he was with Crystal and thats all he cared about.

“Oo lemme know if you need a dog sitter. I’ll bring Pepper. Y’know she loves Moose and Southy.”

"Probably just a dinner with KayKay." Ashton’s bright smile came up whenever he talked about KayKay.

"Absolutely nothing." Calum said quickly with a slight eye roll. She knew how he felt about Valentine's Day. He hated that day with every fiber in his being.

"We could spend it together Cal, I'm not doing anything either. It can be like old times!" Reminiscing on when they would go their favorite Ramen restaurant in the city and rewatch Criminal Minds at his house whenever they were both free.

As much as only everyone around them knows, they've had a flirty relationship ever since they've met. But what they don’t know is they claim they’re just friends who have occasionally kissed each other, slept in the same bed, and she's worn his clothes more than once but just friends.

But due to them being too awkward to act upon their obvious feelings, they have no official label on whatever they are.

"Ramen on Melrose it is." He laughed making Daniella laugh along with him.

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Chapter 2 (b): Boredom

Word Count: 2187

It’s been an hour since Kenma started streaming, and he’ll admit that he’s starting to get a bit bored. He usually enjoys playing Bedwars on stream but he’s been doing it so often lately that it’s beginning to get repetitive.

“What the hell is this guy doing,” he asks as he notices someone start building a tower of blocks on the emerald island. Kenma sprints over to the player, jumping up to knock him off the tower. 

“Hype_boy2000 was killed by Kodzuken!”

“People that play minecraft are brainless sometimes I swear to god,” he hears Kuroo mutter in his headset. 

Despite living together, his best friend usually only joins the stream via voice call, so he can interact with Kenma’s viewers and still be comfortable in his own room. Kenma honestly actually prefers this, it’s easier to hear him and he doesn’t have to worry about his roommate doing anything dumb in front of the camera. 

He shakes his head, “You play minecraft.” 

“Exactly!” 

Kenma snorts, taking a quick glance at his chat to see how his audience is feeling. 

Kodzuken is a GOD

People who play mc are losers🙄🙄🙄 (I play mc)

I’m not bad at the game but watching Kenma makes me feel like I am 💀

He looks bored 😕

His eyebrows furrow then because he’s almost completely positive that he’s hiding his feelings well enough for no one to notice. Apparently he’s not. 

He feels something tug at his neck and briefly looks down to see what it is, resisting a smile at the sight of one of the younger cats, Mars, playing with the drawstring of his hoodie. “Do we wanna try playing something else after this?” 

“Why? You gettin’ bored of winning all the time,” his roommate teases and Kenma has to force himself not to react to his words because he might just be joking but he’s hit the nail right on the head. 

Kenma pretends he doesn’t hear him as he kills the last player (winning himself yet another game),“I’ll go one more round and then we can figure out something else to play.” 

OMG do you guys see the paw????

SHOW US THE CATS

We wanna see the cats

“I think the only reason you’re famous is because we have a million cats,” Kuroo announces and Kenma can almost see the accompanying eye roll. 

“I’m fine with that,” he shrugs. “But I guess I can show you guys the cats before we start.” 

He changes his scene in OBS so that it’s only showing his camera, making sure he’s in full view before he scoops up the bengal cat still sitting in his lap. “This is Mars, we got him like a month ago. How old is he? Um like five months I think?”

He sets him back down on his desk, “There’s only like four cats in here right now by the way.” 

ONLY FOUR???

How many cats does he have lol

“I think there’s like fifteen in the house right now,” Kenma’s head unconsciously tilts as he silently counts all their cats. “No- wait. Seventeen now, plus however many Minnie will have when she gives birth.” 

“Yeah but don’t worry we have three different rooms in the house for them, plus the loft and then the house itself is three stories.” Kuroo chimes in, defending Kenma’s apparent obsession despite the fact that he supposedly doesn’t care. “And then we have like ten cat towers and eight litter robots.” 

EIGHT?????

Oh so they’re rich rich

Half of those litter boxes would pay all my bills 💀

“Anyways um-,” Kenma pauses to reach for the orange cat currently laying in the cat bed beside his desk. “This is Enji, she’s been with us for three years now and she’s five years old.” Enji meows in disapproval as Kenma picks her up and tries to show her to the camera. She fights against him, her claws digging into his forearms and making him grimace. “She doesn’t like being picked up.” 

As if on cue Enji jumps out of his arms and lays right back down in the bed, eyeing Kenma like he’s just committed some sort of grave sin. 

“Well now that she hates me,” he shoots the camera a look, “Let’s go grab another one.” 

He stands from his chair, taking a cursory glance throughout the room to spot any other animals lingering. “Oh-,” he notices a ball of fluff hiding in the cat tower sitting in the corner of his streaming room. 

Miomi is much more willing to be picked up, her purrs echoing throughout the room as he cradles her in his arms and walks back to his desk. “This is Miomi, she’s a ragdoll obviously.” 

“She’s my favorite,” Kuroo suddenly chimes in. “Literally so cuddly I love it.” 

“She is very sweet,” Kenma agrees as he strokes the cat’s stomach. She blinks up at him slowly, her purrs lessening as she drifts back to sleep. “We’ve had her the longest, ever since we moved in.” 

Kenma gently moves to set her back into the cat tower, to which she stretches only once before immediately falling right back asleep. He then looks up towards the cat shelves he’d put on his walls a few years ago, snorting when he spots exactly who he was expecting to find up there. 

“Come here little buddy,” he coaxes the animal into his hands who meows in protest as his little paws reach out to cling onto his shoulders. And Kenma is just barely able to move into the camera frame before he starts practically screaming. “This is void,” he pauses to lightly pat his head, knowing that usually helps to calm him down. “Any guesses as to why we named him that?” The question is entirely rhetorical. 

“Dude he’s like blending into your fucking sweatshirt,” Kuroo suddenly laughs. 

Kenma leans forward to look at the viewfinder of his camera, “Holy shit he is.” 

Void starts meowing again at the change in position and Kenma can feel himself flinch from how loud it is. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he swiftly places him back on the shelf. 

“That’s all the cats in here,” Kenma tells his viewers as he sits back down. “I might do a full video introducing everyone but it would just take a while to film because a few of them like going outside a lot.” 

“Yeah I haven’t seen Binx inside in like two months,” his roommate further adds. 

“I see him in the backyard a lot but he’s usually sitting up on the fence,” Kenma notes as he reopens the game on his stream. 

Kenma goes outside???

He went out to touch grass

Binx is such a funny name lol

He ignores their jests, running in game to play his final round of bedwars for the night. “How about a three v. three?” 

“Oh yeah you haven’t played in teams in a while have you?” 

“A couple months I think,” he responds as he selects the game. “What do we wanna play after this?” The streamer directs his gaze to the chat while he waits for his character to load into the game. 

“I was thinking something like Spiderman, or we could play Stardew with Kuro,” he adds just as he’s spawned into the map. 

“Um, hello?” His roommate’s voice is loud with disbelief. 

“Hi.” Kenma takes a moment to collect as much iron and gold he needs before sprinting to get a stone sword and some wool.

“Do I get a say in this at all?”

Kenma feels his eyebrows furrow, “You realize that you’re here solely for the viewers entertainment right?” 

He begins speed-bridging across to the emerald island as he hears his best friend scoff. “Fuck you.” 

“No thank you,” Kenma hums as he finishes off the bridge and jumps into one of the emerald spawners. 

“Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends,” while the words themselves are mean, both men know that Kuroo is entirely joking as he says it. 

Kenma subconsciously nods, “All the time.” 

He spots another player from a distance and moves to crouch behind a pile of blocks next to the spawner. “I think my strat is to just kinda run and kill everyone and let my teammates worry about the bed,” he explains. 

The player passes by then and Kenma manages to take him out within a few simple hits, as he usually does. He looks over at the chat, expecting the same praise he always receives after getting a kill but is entirely thrown off by seeing a completely random topic of conversation instead. 

AHHHHH IT’S Y/N

Most unexpected duo ever💀

I was literally watching her stream twenty minutes ago

Wtf is happening lol

“Y/N?” Kenma is more than confused at this point, completely lost as to who or what his chat is obsessing over. 

“What’s that? Is that like the name of the map or something?” 

Kenma’s in slight shock for a moment at his question because there’s no way he lives with someone as stupid as Kuroo. “You’re literally an idiot. Look at chat, dumbass.” 

He decides to start making his way back to his team’s island, building a bridge to the diamonds to collect any that spawned on his way. “Oh she’s a streamer too apparently.” 

“Oh really?” He turns his character to look in the general direction of their island just out of simple curiosity, only to see something totally unexpected. 

He watches as one of his teammate’s suddenly jumps out from behind a giant pyramid of blocks, running towards an encroaching enemy player and knocking him into the void before they’re even able to make it onto the island.

But that’s not what makes Kenma stop and stare. It’s when the player starts jumping around, punching the air and spinning in circles as they seemingly celebrate the kill, that Kenma pauses. “What the fuck are they doing,” he hears himself mutter as he finally remembers to finish bridging to their island. 

GIVE HER THE STUFF

She needs supplies to cover the beeeeedddd

Y/N kinda sweaty ngl

He blinks, “That’s Y/N?” 

He runs over to her, abiding to his chat and throwing the stuff he collected on the ground in front of her (it’s not like he’s going to need any of it anyways). But she just stares at him, and he realizes that she must be dumber than he initially thought because she definitely doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

He tries his best to non-verbally tell her to pick it up - which takes longer than Kenma would like - but she finally understands and runs forward to grab the items. “Holy shit,” he mutters to himself as he turns and sprints back the way he came. 

He decides to start getting the beds of the enemy teams and he’s in the middle of killing the last player on the purple team when he sees a highlighted message pop up in his game chat. 

“Thanks :)” 

He knocks the player off, hearing the tell-tale sound of their death as he opens game chat to look back at the message. “Shouldn’t she be paying attention to the game?” He says it like he’s annoyed, and he’s sure that it comes off that way to his viewers judging by their reactions to his words. 

But he’s almost certain that Kuroo is able to tell that he’s not (he’s the opposite really) when he teasingly says, “Aw, she said thank you Kenma.” 

“Shut up.” 

And despite always being notoriously calm on stream, Kenma’s face suddenly feels warm.

~~~

“You guys saw that right?” Kenma is in disbelief as he spectates Y/N, who’s currently just standing and not doing anything to stop the enemy player running towards her. “What the fuck is she doing now? Is her game frozen?” 

Y/N doesn’t react at all as she’s being attacked and Kenma can feel his jaw literally drop when she’s abruptly killed.

“Red Team has been eliminated!"

He sits back in his chair, his eyes wide and mouth still agape as he tries to process what just happened. 

He didn’t really care when she knocked him off the bridge, was even slightly impressed that she was willing to take down her own teammate to survive. But that all changed when she didn’t even try to fight back against the other player. 

“We just lost,” he whispers, mostly to himself, and the sentence feels foreign on his tongue. 

He can hear his roommate saying something over the headset but he can’t quite understand what it is, nor does he currently care enough to try to figure it out. 

“We lost,” he repeats, louder this time and it’s insane because he feels like laughing. 

He can feel himself grinning as his character loads back into the lobby, “I can’t believe we actually just lost.” 

And he feels almost giddy as he watches his win streak fall all the way back down to zero; because, for the first time in two years, something is different. 

And never has he ever been so happy to lose.

Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658

Any names in bold are unable to be tagged.

[the-inkwell-variable]

Writeblr Interview Tag!

Thanks so much for the tag, @sableglass!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels all the way. I've tried my hand at short stories, and they always end up being novellas or straight up novels by the time I'm done with them. May as well stick with what my little brain clearly desires!

What genre do you prefer reading?

Mysteries (cozy or otherwise), horror (especially zombie fiction or apocalypse fiction, yes please), fantasy (especially cozy, I love cozy fantasy so much, have you read Legends and Lattes?), and romance.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

I'm a little of both! I'll generally have a plan in my head at the very least, if not a brief outline written down somewhere, but when I actually sit down to write, my writing tends to veer off wherever it wants and do its own thing (for example, FUCKING CHUCK). As long as it makes sense, I tend to just let it go wherever it wants lol

What music do you listen to while writing?

Surprisingly, I don't listen to much music while writing. I'll daydream to it, absolutely, but I mostly just throw on some Markiplier or an old debate that I've heard ten thousand times and write to that. It's more about the background noise than the actual content, y'know?

But when I DO listen to music, I drift toward lofi or mood music compilations on youtube. The kind that DMs play during their DnD sessions. Love those so much, they really help keep me locked in a single mood, which I absolutely need when I'm writing a scene.

Favorite books/movies?

Oh god. Lord of the Rings (including the Hobbit don't @ me). Train to Busan (or any Korean zombie movies/shows, really). Some Disney and Pixar - Big Hero 6, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Emperor's New Groove, etc. The Strain is one of my favorite TV shows - I also love Cutthroat Kitchen above all else, a bunch of different anime, and Dance Moms (yes I know it's toxic and yes I am ashamed of myself for enjoying it. I pity the kids but I rage at the moms.)

As for books, my favorites are the Beechwood Harbor Mystery series, The Luminous Dead, Thief Liar Lady, All Systems Red, Legends and Lattes, A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking, anything Holly Black, Suffer the Children, Contagion, Luck in the Shadows, Assistant to the Villain, Dead of Night, and Surviving the Evacuation!

Any current WIPs?

Oh gosh. I'm bopping between From Carnival to Chamomile, a prequel to a cozy mystery series, and Dauntless, a zombie apocalypse trilogy, right now. Sometimes I'll work on Priestess Without Honor, a paranormal low-fantasy romance, and Chosen Against My Will, a dark mafia romance. I also have zer0 ALPHA, a lit-rpg isekai zombie apocalypse novel, but I haven't touched that in years and have only recently rediscovered my notes for it.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

I wear the same thing every day, surprisingly. That's the autism for ya. I love jeans and a T-shirt, especially if that T-shirt has a picture from an anime or show or something like that. Printed shirts, I think they're called. Oh, and mismatched socks. That's me.

Create a character description of yourself: 

Too tall for her own good and unwanted curves for days. Bobbed dark-blue hair with steel gray eyes. Too busy writing or gaming to really notice what's going on. Expect a text back within seconds of receiving it - she reads faster than most people expect and tends to read every text twice just to give it that safety buffer. If there isn't a snack and a drink nearby, call the police.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Hehehehe maybe. But not exactly in a good way. I'm very much the kind of person who will put someone I dislike into my book just so they can get the justice they won't get in the real world, even over something as minor as pronouncing my name wrong on purpose (I'm looking at you, Keiara).

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I want to say yes because I kill off characters constantly, but when it comes to my main OCs, no. I can't bring myself to kill them at all. I go out of my way to create characters for death (like FUCKING CHUCK) rather than put my favorites in the line of fire. I think that's a problem I need to work on.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee

but I do love tea, especially in the fall. In the fall, I tend to drift toward tea and apple cider rather than coffee.

But otherwise? Coffeeeeeee

Slow or fast writer?

Fast writer when I actually sit down to write! Slow writer when I'm procrastinating. I've been working on Dauntless for...thirteen years? Twelve?

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

I get inspiration from EVERYTHING. Dreams. Books. Movies. Something dumb my partner says offhandedly.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

I absolutely want to be something cool, like a shadow mage. But I'm probably a little gremlin that hides in the edges of the woods and steals your socks. Mmmm socks.

Most fav book cliche:

Enemies to lovers! Especially when one person is smitten at firstt sight and doesn't realize it.

Least favorite cliche:

Friendship is magic. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with powerful friendships being front and center, but when the big bad is literally destroyed because fRiEnDsHiP I gag a little bit. I also hate undeserved happy endings - make the ending make sense. If it's a sad or horror book, sometimes the ending needs to be bad. And finally, forced romance. No. No thank you. Some stories don't need romance.

Favorite scene to write?

Descriptions! Am I good at them? No. Will I spend three pages describing a tree? Maybe.

Also conversations. I tend to do a lot of conversations and monologues in my writing. Need to work on that.

Reason for writing?

If I don't write down the ideas in my head, I will explode.

TAGLIST: @falconfate - @space-writes - @leahnardo-da-veggie - @i-can-even-burn-salad - anyone who wants to take part!

[hatchetfieldtheories]

#Rewatchers2000

Re-Watchers With A Thousand Eyes - a Starkid, Shipwrecked and Tin Can Bros weekly watch-along

But this time, the full schedule is hidden.

That's why my chart is so big, its full of secrets!

Its that time of year folks. We've all been hyped up for Nerdy Prudes Must Die, and whether you watched it live, via digital ticket, or not at all - we're now all waiting for its Youtube release.

Now considering Starkid have announced the release will likely be later this year or early next year, I figured now would be a good time to revisit our old friend - the offline watchalong, asychronous watch party, the retro rewind!

An “offline watchalong” is where a show/series is picked as the “show of the week” and everyone who wants to join in watches it at any point in the week they wish to.  Then throughout the week as people watch the show, we can make posts, mini-fics (or longer fics if you’re a writing whiz!) and fanart (again for you talented folks) about that week’s show. Or literally just talk about it!

It doesn't matter if you're an old hat or have never seen a show before - all are welcome to join and watch whatever you like.

The schedule will be released gradually - to allow focus for the current themes, but also just in case we get any big surprise teasers [bloody hexagons] and need to pause the watchalong. However I've sorted a schedule that will currently take us to the beginning of October - in the hopes that any news might be then.

Written version of schedule and full how to take part is below!

:readmore:

So how to take part?

Watch the week’s show!  You don’t have to watch every single week’s show, if you feel like skipping a week because a show’s not for you, awesome!  Curate your own enjoyment and join in again when we reach a show you’re excited for!

Make a post, fic, art etc - the idea is we are all in this watch-along together so seeing everyone’s thoughts on the content is what’s exciting.  Not creative? Fabulous, neither am I - my contribution is likely to be “omg I love this bit in xxx when xxx...” - feel free to do the same.

Tag it! As well as tagging with the show/creators, include the tag #ReWatchers2000 so that if anyone doesn’t want to see the content, they can filter it.  

Don’t have anything to post?  No problem - reblog away!  Press that like button! Learn “Listen to Your Heart Joey” in the privacy of your own bedroom just for yourself! Perfect your Oscar Wilde impression in your mirror! 

Not seen one of the shows before?  Amazing!  This could be an opportunity to find something new you hadn’t realised you were missing!

Don’t have time to watch this week? I get you!  We’re all busy, but feel free to engage with the content anyway - and hey, you can always watch the show when you’re free in a different week!

Most importantly - be kind.  The shows, series, and shorts we’ll be watching are lovingly made by some amazing people who have put in a great amount of time, energy and money into making us amazing content for free!  Equally, these fan communities have some incredible fan-work which also takes a lot of love and effort. Be kind about the content you watch and the content that may appear.

Text based version of the schedule

1st May: Twisted

8th May: A Vhs Christmas Carol

15th May: Poe Party + Bonus!

22nd May: Wayward Guide

29th May: Headless

5th June: Ani: A Parody

12th June: Trail to Oregon

19th June: Little White Lie

26th June and 3rd July: A Very Potter Trilogy

10th July: Me and My Dick

17th July: Spies Are Forever

24th July: The Case of the Gilded Lily

31st July: Solve it Squad Returns and Back in Biz

[catboylister]

lister bird solo album

IT IS VERY REAL TO ME LETS TALK ABOUT THIS !!! pls be aware im not the best with my music terms, im what you may call a poser or whatever.

during their hiatus when lister is struggling with everything thats happened to him, both in his childhood and with the band. he's given the typical advice from his therapist to write stuff down. at first he thinks it's dumb, but he gets himself a nice leather journal and starts writing anything that comes to mind. long winded rants about things he feels are unfair, talks of shows he's watched, comics he's read, games he's played, and also the odd few pages of lyrics he's written. he starts to really enjoy song writing, and with time he starts to hyper-fixate on his writing and begins composing different melodies along with it.

both rowan and jimmy here him working on it late at night sometimes. rowan is the one who starts telling him he has the skill to turn his work into an album, even if it's just for him and no one else.

drums are still his favourite, always will be, but he sharpens his guitar skills too. its good distraction for him when he needs something to do, as it's something new and not automatic for him. he really has to focus on what he's doing, which takes him away from his own thoughts for a while.

singing is the opposite, he sings when he needs to let himself feel everything in the moment; process it, let himself cry a bit. unlike the arks music, the words are harder to sing along to because it's all written from his own experience. with the lyrics he's written for the band, as much as he's in love with jimmy's voice, hearing the words that are supposed to represent himself from someone else's voice feels wrong, so everything he's written there has been more of a concept. these words are actually his own. it's probably the most accurate representation of his thought process. as he signs, the tone of his voice fluctuates a lot. he goes from softly spoken whispers to harsh words spilling through a clenched jaw.

he produces the entire thing himself. lyrics, voice, guitar, percussion. it's all his own work and he's rightfully proud of himself. and he should be because it sounds beautiful, even with the little imperfections throughout it. he still struggles with everything he's written about, it's not as if it magically fixed him. but it helped him lots, he really feels like he's doing good for himself. in a musical sense, i feel like it would sound like a mix of fires fading into black (holden laurence) and your city gave me asthma (wilbur soot). laurence makes me think of how he'd play, it's quite soft, makes me feel warm. but wilbur makes be think of how his voice might sound, you can really hear the raw emotion in each line. (like that one loosing face demo.) thematically, it would have an overall theme of the loneliness he has felt for years, emotionally isolated from everyone around him. the songs explore different parts of what he's struggled with. unrequited love, uncomfortable conversations, his addiction, pressure put onto him by everyone, his childhood, his assault, the river.

he doesn't publicise it for a long while, not sure if he wants so people to know about this part of him. when he does, he doesn't announce it anywhere, but the fans find it soon enough. a new youtube channel under his name with just one, 27 minuet long video, with a sweet note in the video description, little words of motivation for who ever cared enough to read it. people freak the fuck out, but he just lets them, for a while, it's funny to watch. first the freak out because 'omfg content theres content guys' the 'omg is he leaving the ark what the hell !!!!' but the feedback is overwhelmingly positive. what he doesn't expect though, it people wishing him well and hoping he's okay, as well as people going through similar things saying how comforting it is for someone they look up too let them know their not alone. its the first time he feels a slight connection to the strangers that form his fanbase, in a way, it makes him feel less alone too.

jimmy listens to it himself for the first time, he'd never asked much about it as he knew it was personal. it's the first time he cries over music in a long time. lister sings of things he'd never spoken of to either himself or rowan, while he had a vague idea of some of them, he never knew how much these things really do effect him. after staring at his ceiling for a while to recover, jimmy finds himself in listers room, hugging him tightly. he tells him that hes proud of him, not just for the album, but just for facing everything and still being with them.

[lolotheparagon]

One of the dumbest things I think you've ever said was that cartoon fans hate children because they don't like how certain child characters are written or because they think a reboot of a kids show is badly written. Like, you do understand there's a difference, right? Yeah, I totally want children dead or something because I children's entertainment can be better than those soulless, ugly nursery rhyme compilation videos that children are addicted to. Logic.

Cartoon fans always have a warped idea how children actually are. Because they forget WE WERE kids. Whenever they see a little kid character who is slightly overbearing and overenergetic, yknow what a little kid IS, the fandom calls the character "annoying", "brat" etc. And god forbid if a teenage character was their point of contention

I remember watching Transformers Prime and I thought Miko was my fave out of the human teens the Autobots looked after. Yet Ive seen so many fans complaining she was a rude, impulsive, bratty bitch and found her excitable attitude around the Autobots "annoying" because how DARE a 14 year old acts stupid and is excited to hang out with giant robots.

And this stems to how cartoon fans view children who are fans as well. I was in the brony fandom and I noticed whenever the show introduced more characters or spin offs for the sake of toys, a lot of bronies groaned how its so "girly" and "not what the show is" aka anything remotely marketable and feminine whatsoever. And they got mad when kids loved it cos it reminded them they're watching a girl's show. They outright pilloried G3 fans for liking such a baby's show when Friendship is Magic is literally no different than g3 outside of more consistent characters and its funnier. Heck, even when G5 came along and there was a poll of who their fave main character was and Pipp, the most feminine of the group who was a social media savant, had the least votes. Whereas Izzy, the g5 Pinkie Pie, was at no. 1. (which goes to show how cartoon fanbases are extremely biased to wacky comic relief characters with quasi-neurodivergent traits) Also I was exposed to a lot of fucked up shit, the porn of this fandom was unfiltered and incredibly easy to access on youtube and google. (this was before youtube kids was a thing) This is the same fandom that brought us Cupcakes and Fallout Equestria and Rarity's New Designs. All from a show thats about horse puppies being friends. And as for the little kids who were surrounded by this content, no wonder they grew up traumatised. Cos bronies didnt give a single pissing shit about the children. Look up brony horror stories. You'll see why.

Cartoon fandoms have this preconceived notion to muscle children out of the picture as possible so they can feel more secure watching kids shows without their parents judging them. They hate being reminded that the stuff they watch IS FOR KIDS IN THE FIRST PLACE. But the problem is 75% of media out there is made for children in mind. Star Wars, Disney, Pixar movies, Dreamworks movies, Batman, Spiderman, Marvel, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Transformers etc.

As for the bad reboot angle, I always firmly believed the phrase "This X REBOOT RUINED MY CHILDHOOD" is always a defensive way of saying: "THIS CHILDRENS PROPERTY IS NOT IMMEDIATELY CATERING TO ME >:(" Like they treat a reboot like its an act of betrayal when its just a piece of media changing and evolving with the generations to appeal to the newer ones. If you want the same show you watched as a kid, just watch the original thing on youtube or collect dvds and merch of it. But if you want to watch this reboot, you've got to realise change is what reboots do and if you get mad at the small/big changes a reboot makes...

You're literally Patchy in this scene

As long as a show doesnt push racist/sexist/bigoted or any problematic themes in their faces, its fine. If the kids love it, the reboots done its job.

And as for the quality of children's entertainment, I dont really give a shit what soulless nursery rhyme collection or sanitised fluff kids watch. We all had our mindless fluff we watched as kids and we didnt get scarred for life because of it.

Just...leave the kids alone. Just act like adults and manage your shit carefully. Let the kids enjoy what they enjoy and for the love of god DONT GET SO FUCKING DEFENSIVE OVER LIKING A CARTOON AIMED AT BABIES. ITS ONLY WEIRD WHEN YOU MAKE IT WEIRD.

[webdigitalstore]

Digital Marketing Services for Kids Explained by Web Digital Store

Hey there! Have you ever heard of "digital marketing"? It sounds fancy, right? But don't worry, Web Digital Store is here to explain it in a super easy way. Imagine you have a toy, and you want to show everyone how awesome it is so they buy it. Digital Marketing Services is a lot like that! We use cool tricks on the internet to help people know about fun products, games, or services. Let’s dive in and learn how this works!

What is Digital Marketing?

Digital marketing means promoting or showing off products and services using the internet. Instead of just telling your friends about something, digital marketing lets companies like Web Digital Store show their stuff to people all over the world through websites, social media, and more!

Why is Digital Marketing Important?

Think about it—most of us use the internet every day, right? We watch videos, play games, and chat with friends online. So, if you want people to know about a new game or product, the best place to talk about it is online! That’s why Digital Marketing Services is super important.

Types of Digital Marketing Services at Web Digital Store

Web Digital Store has different ways to help companies get noticed online. Let’s check out some of the cool services we offer!

1. Social Media Marketing

Have you ever seen ads on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok? That’s social media marketing! Web Digital Store helps companies create fun posts and videos that can make their products go viral.

How It Works:

We create posts with catchy words and colorful pictures.

These posts pop up when you're scrolling through your social media apps.

If the posts are cool enough, people click on them, learn more, and might even buy the product!

2. Search Engine Optimization (SEO)

Ever wonder why some websites show up first when you search for something on Google? That’s because of SEO! Web Digital Store knows how to make websites easier to find.

How It Works:

We pick the best words people might search for, like “cool toys” or “fun games.”

Then, we add those words to a company’s website so Google knows it’s important.

This helps the site rank higher and be seen by more people.

3. Email Marketing

Ever got a fun newsletter or an offer in your inbox? That’s email marketing! Web Digital Store helps companies send emails that people actually want to open.

How It Works:

We create emails that share new products, deals, or updates.

These emails go straight to people’s inboxes.

If someone likes what they see, they might click on the link and visit the website.

4. Content Marketing

Content is just a fancy word for anything written, drawn, or made. This could be blogs, videos, or even cartoons! Web Digital Store helps companies create awesome content to catch people's attention.

How It Works:

We write fun blogs, make exciting videos, or design cute images.

These get shared on the company’s website or social media.

When people enjoy the content, they’re more likely to trust the company and buy from them.

5. Paid Advertising

Sometimes companies pay to have their ads shown to more people. Have you seen an ad pop up while watching a YouTube video? That’s paid advertising, and Web Digital Store can help companies get their ads in front of lots of people.

How It Works:

Companies pay to place their ads on popular websites, YouTube, or social media.

These ads are shown to people who might be interested in the product.

If someone clicks the ad, they can go to the company’s website and learn more.

6. Influencer Marketing

Ever seen your favorite YouTuber or Instagram star talk about a product? That’s influencer marketing! Web Digital Store connects companies with influencers who can share products with their followers.

How It Works:

We find popular online personalities who match the company’s brand.

These influencers review, use, or talk about the company’s products.

Their followers see the product and might want to try it too!

How Web Digital Store Makes Digital Marketing Fun

At Web Digital Store, we love making digital marketing fun and easy to understand! We use games, colorful designs, and exciting words to catch people’s attention. It’s kind of like telling a really cool story, but on the internet.

Creative Designs

We create colorful pictures, fun videos, and catchy graphics that people will want to share with their friends. The more people share, the more the company gets noticed.

Cool Videos and Animations

Who doesn’t love a good video? We make short, fun videos that explain products or services in a way that keeps you watching.

Why Web Digital Store is the Best Choice for Digital Marketing

There are a lot of digital marketing services companies out there, but Web Digital Store stands out because we care about making things simple and fun for everyone—even kids! Our team of experts knows how to create fun and friendly content that grabs attention.

We Make Things Easy to Understand

We don’t use confusing words or boring stuff. Our goal is to make digital marketing fun and easy, whether you're a kid or an adult.

We Stay Up to Date

The internet is always changing. New apps, games, and trends come out all the time. Web Digital Store stays on top of the latest trends so that we can help companies reach people in the coolest ways.

We Love Creativity

Web Digital Store believes that creativity is the key to making great digital marketing. We use our imagination to come up with fresh ideas that get people excited about the products we promote.

Conclusion

Digital marketing is a fun way to show people all the cool products and services out there using the internet. From social media to videos and emails, Web Digital Store helps companies get their products in front of people in creative and fun ways. Now you know what digital marketing services is all about and how Web Digital Store makes it awesome for everyone.

[lesbiandanhowell]

tell me what the video Basically, I’m Gay means to you?

I fully meant to keep this short but, it's not.

What it means to me, personally, that's between me and the unpublished essay I have written on the video. A lot of what he talks about is much more personal to me than I am willing to share on tumblr haha.

What I can tell you is that I think it's one if the most important videos I have ever seen and I also think one of the most important videos on YouTube.

The video is Dan's story but it is so much more in my opinion and it does so much more than just telling his story. It's something I have always admired about Dan, his ability to combine his own story with something larger, bigger picture and that video does that brilliantly. Calling out society for being the reason he's been through so much and the obsessive need to label people and put them in boxes are things that speak to me so much!

I think it was the first video where he was so brutally honest, in a way that I think he has never been before but has been ever since. The level of vulnerability he showed by sharing so much with us was a level of courage that doesn't just relate to coming out, but also sharing his journey with mental health.

The way he speaks on his own journey and to his past self with so much compassion is something very healing to me, every time I watch the video even now. I think the video set the tone and did the groundwork for everything else he did with WAD afterwards, it's the same kind of reflective journey just on different topics if that makes sense?

At the time when I watched the video it felt like it was the end of a journey, coming out after spending year to come to terms with that it would mean and navigating being closeted.Now I see how wrong I was and how that video really was only the beginning of his journey. Actually @personthattoleratesme made me realize this by pointing out that he was literally only 28 at the time, so young and he has done so much in even just the five years since then and has continued to grow and share so much with us.

I think that's why this video means so much to me, because it changed everything, for Dan and his relationship to being a creator, for us and our relationship to Dan, the kinds of content he shares and what his career is about now. I think it's one of the best and most important things he has ever done, and the amount of views and attention the video got I think agrees with me on that.

I also wrote a comment about this video for the Phanzine, so check that out if you haven't!

[aesethewitch]

#OcculTea - Conclusions

What are some topics of conversation I’d like to see more of in our community?

I do think that there’s a lack of intermediate to advanced content in the public eye. And I understand why, of course. Beginners find posts they don’t understand and ask a million basic questions: “How do I raise energy?” “Should I cast a circle first?” “If I don’t have this ingredient, what can I substitute? But I don’t have that either, what about this?”

And if they don’t get answers, or if the wrong person finds a post that speaks just a little too authoritatively, they get pissed. Tumblr’s hatemail game is, indeed, unreal. It’s hard sometimes to want to publish something personal or talk about something that the General Audience might disagree with or that’s more advanced than what can usually be found out there.

It would require beginners to recognize when something isn’t really for them (yet). It would also require people to give the benefit of the doubt and actually read a whole post before jumping to the replies or into the poster’s ask box to complain about their wording or tone or “how could you leave out such and such specific detail” or other annoying, disrespectful nonsense like that. Alas, this is the piss on the poor website.

What are my community needs?

My top priorities in a community are somewhere to ask questions, somewhere to have casual, low-stakes conversations, and somewhere to share and vet resources (books, PDFs, shops, materials, websites, blogs, etc.). I sometimes fall off the face of the earth and go hermit-mode for mental health reasons, so communities that require constant participation and look down on declining invitations are no-gos for me.

For the most part, I do think my community needs are being met! I wish I had an in-person place to go, hang out, buy or make things, and just exist as a witch without worrying about conforming to love-and-light ideals and/or cultural appropriation. I’ve been thinking about starting meet-ups at our local library, but the idea of no one showing is… well, it sucks and is scary. So. We’ll see how that goes.

Where would I like to be held and supported?

It really depends.

In this space (Tumblr), the greatest supports are reblogs. Liking a post does little for me in terms of exposure and connection. A reblog spreads my work to new eyes while also showing me that yes, the thing I’ve written is useful in some way. Replies are also good, but reblogs are really where it’s at.

Direct interaction with my work encourages me to write and publish more. I stopped putting up my research into digital divination (which has continued, by the way) because it wasn’t getting any notes. To me, that says that no one’s reading it. If no one’s reading it, I shouldn’t spend so much time cleaning up my notes for presentation, because that’s time I could use better elsewhere on work that will get attention and perhaps pay the bills.

Which kinda sucks! Research into theory and the history of these niche topics are very much passion projects of mine. I’ve got all sorts of notes dissecting Pick-A-Card tarot culture and clickbait tarot YouTube/TikTok videos that may never see the light of day, because it just… doesn’t get noticed. No one cares. I care, obviously, and that’s why I’m still doing it for myself. I’d love to share it, but… again, who cares, aside from me?

Basically, just… interact with stuff, lmao. Tip if you can, still interact if you can't. If you enjoy someone’s work, reblog it. Likes do nothing for creators on this platform. And as someone who relies on this platform to spread my business, reblogs really do make all the difference. (PS: Everyone who has ever recommended my services to someone else, either here or elsewhere, is literally an angel. Word of mouth does more for small businesses than any amount of advertising I could possibly do. You’ve got no idea. Ily.)

Where do I feel like I’m not truly being seen by my community?

I get a lot of attention for my free tarot stuff that I do every Friday. And that’s fair. People love a freebie. There’s a whole subculture of tarot readers here on Tumblr who just do different kinds of free readings for people, often for fun.

But again, the stuff I’m actually proud of tends to get less notes than the throwaway shitposts. It’s rough. I have a feeling that all the hours I’m sinking into writing out these questions and editing the posts will go to waste.

How can we help each other in removing the external peer pressure and grow in community?

Be the change you want to see. Here on Tumblr, there’s a sort of fear surrounding judgment. In the interest of never being judged, receiving hate, or otherwise being “called out,” we avoid publishing work that’s anything close to controversial. Even if it isn’t controversy, if something isn’t being talked about, it’s scary to be the first one to break into the topic. Because what if it’s terrible to talk about?

When you see something you don’t understand or disagree with, don’t instantly jump into OP’s replies or ask box with vitriol or basic questions. Try to find resources first. Check their tags; maybe they’ve talked about that topic before and have a more basic or detailed explanation on the topic somewhere.

Unless it’s actively harmful (bigotry, appropriation, etc.), if you can’t respectfully interact with someone’s post, leave it alone. The important thing to remember is that we don’t need to (and perhaps shouldn’t) form opinions on absolutely everything we see. Some things aren’t for us, and that’s okay. I see things I disagree with and dislike all the time as I peruse the witchcraft tags. Just scroll.

The other part of this is acknowledging that some people just aren’t going to learn how to act right. They just aren’t. We, as a community, need to learn how to ignore those people. There’s an age-old adage that I think we need to bring back into the public eye: Don’t feed the trolls.

How can we, as a community, come together more with constructive criticism without it seeming shady/passive aggressive?

The absolute first step is to learn the difference between hatemail, constructive criticism, and being fucking rude. Tone can be hard for some folks, especially when written out, but it’s critical that you either learn how to decipher it or find people who can help you do so if you’re not able to do it yourself before making assumptions about someone’s meaning.

Hatemail is direct nastiness written and designed to make someone feel bad about themselves, their work, their circle, their practice, or something else. The idea is to make the receiver uncomfortable. This would include attacks on someone’s character. This category includes sending people slurs, telling people they’re stupid for believing something, demanding that someone prove their worth, and unsolicited and harsh criticisms of the work being put out.

Constructive criticism is intended to improve the content you’re seeing. That’s what makes it constructive. It’s respectful to ask the OP if they’re open to receiving constructive criticism before sending it. This category includes helpful notes on content, correcting misinformation, pointing out problems in the language used, and structure of the post in question. For example, I’ve received constructive criticism that my posts tend to be very long-winded. And, I mean, yeah — that’s a fair criticism. But I like writing long posts, so that’s unlikely to change. However, I can include shorter posts in the mix to diversify and appeal to different audiences.

The prime example of someone being plain fucking rude is adding inane, off-topic, judgy comments in a reblog of an innocuous post or send unsolicited, long-winded trauma dumps to someone’s inbox. This could also apply to giving unsolicited advice or speaking in a condescending manner. For example, assuming someone knows less than you and handing out “advice” as though it’s gospel without checking to see whether they would or wouldn’t know that information/practice differently than you. This category refers to the people who aren’t (purposely) sending hate, but their words absolutely come off that way. I find rudeness comes from a lack of self-awareness and consideration for other people. These are the folks that when you tell them to fuck off, they get very offended and don’t understand why you’re reacting badly.

The key is reading comprehension, critical thinking, and compassion. Before you send an ask, reply/reblog, or DM them, try to see where the OP is coming from. What’s their culture, what’s their background, how new are they to their path, why are they posting about the thing they’re posting, etc.? Have you read their post correctly? Are you projecting any kind of expectations or assumptions onto the OP or their post that aren’t actually being stated there?

Will what you say hurt their feelings? Has the OP stated that they’re open to feedback? If not, should you ask them first? Will the OP suffer in some way or cause harm if you don’t reach out to them about the thing you want to tell them? Are you reaching out simply to have something to say, or are you actually adding to the conversation?

If more folks come into conversations with kindness and genuine curiosity, leaving their egos, assumptions, and impulses to be “on the same level” or “better than” other practitioners aside, better interactions happen. Just… don’t be an asshole. Think before you speak. Consider the consequences of what you say before hitting send. So on and so forth.

Consider a class or guide on providing constructive criticism. Creative writing or other literary courses and guides go over this kind of thing extensively.

How can we, as a community, do better when we do receive criticism/feedback?

Remember that, in general, even unsolicited criticism is rarely about you as a person. It is sometimes, but even that can be useful. The only times I would say you ought to throw out criticism entirely is when it veers into hatemail territory. You don’t owe hateful bitches anything, least of all your time.

But in the case of actual feedback, even if it’s not worded the best or if it arrives out of the blue, it’s important to at least read it and take it into consideration.

Take a step back. Take a breath. The knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself is a powerful one. Let the sting of criticism sink in, and do whatever you need to do to soothe it.

Then, read it again. Parse what the person is actually saying. No matter how they’re saying it, what is their actual problem? Is it something you can change? Is it something you’re willing to change? Even if not, is it something you can take into account for the future?

Constructive criticism, when given and received in a positive way, can create some really beautiful moments of understanding and growth. Consider, again, a class or guide on constructive criticism. When they talk about giving it, they also talk about receiving and using it. It really is a life-changing sort of lesson.

As for dealing with hatemail, fuck ‘em. Delete that shit, block the asshole, and don’t look back.

Who are some community members I look up to that are reliable resources and aspirations?

Ohohohohoho, spotlight time!

It isn’t something I can really direct people toward, since it’s a private Discord server, but I’m part of a group of practitioners who are constantly supporting each other. We ask questions, give advice, chat about projects, and just generally lift each other up all the time. That server is, by far, the greatest resource I’ve got right now. It’s a very small community of friends whose passions are diverse and incredibly interesting. The amount of learning and collaboration that goes on… man. I really do love it. (If you’re in that server, and you read this: Hi, I appreciate you! (: )

Now, let’s tag some people (going down my following list):

@elminx — Minx is amazing. The recipe experiments, the astrology insights, the clever techniques… She’s got something for everybody.

@fernthewhimsical — Two words: rainbowmancy and hopepunk. Seriously, go to Fern’s blog and go through the witchcraft tag. So much good stuff.

@jasper-pagan-witch — Our very own TBR and Blogs Georg. I very much recommend checking out their sideblog @jasper-book-stash for brief book reviews.

@coinandcandle — Click through Coin’s pinned post for all sorts of goodies, including deep dives on deities.

@breelandwalker — Tumblr’s resident witchstorian! Check out her podcast, Hex Positive, for beginner-friendly, funny, informative content that ranges from spell techniques to the history of witchcraft.

@windvexer — Chicken answers questions of all sorts! We share the gift (curse?) of verbosity. Their answers are detailed and informative, and I aspire to that level of coherency in my rambling.

@stagkingswife — Silly! Hat! Theory! Stag’s views on spirit work literally changed my whole mind about godspousing and what makes a deity a deity. Legitimately.

@asksecularwitch — Spells Georg. THE secular witch. An icon whose gumption I respect above all others.

And… I’m so sure there are others I’m forgetting about. [gestures] All of my mutuals are lovely, follow them and throw money at their respective Ko-Fi and Patreon pages. (:

Off of Tumblr, I tend toward YouTube’s witch ecosystem. A few people I follow there are The Green Witch, the Witch of Wonderlust, Mint Faery, and Hearth Witch. Again, there are more, but these are the channels I follow most closely for their content!

Final thoughts?

This was fun to put together! I won’t directly tag anyone to respond with their own answers, because… well, this has been a beast of a project that’s taken several days to type out and more to edit. But if you’re a witchy content creator here on Tumblr, please feel free to check out the list of questions and post your own answers!

Replies, reblogs, and asks on any or all of the topics covered in this post series are very much welcome.

This is the final part of a series! Click here to view the masterpost to see all #OcculTea posts in this series. Replies, reblogs, and asks on any or all of the topics covered in this post series are very much welcome.