#like what the hell was that scene with his mum...?

[where-dreams-dwell]

Daemon's Wrong Wraith-visions (2/2)

Harrenhal and the visions or illusions therein should be a great narrative device to explore the newly discovered shortcomings of Daemon as a husband and leader, and it would make sense to address them now; after taking Harrenhal Daemon isn't said to have done much for a while in Fire and Blood so it makes sense to fill out the plot. There are also some hugely tough and tragic events on the horizon, and having Daemon recommitted to Rhaenyra is essential for the Black Faction to remain as a challenger for the throne. Additionally in the final arc of the Dance, Daemon being firmly and assuredly devoted to Rhaenyra will add tragedy to both his and her actions. To have the impact of those events and actions truly land, the audience's faith in Daemon as a husband to Rhaenyra and as a King-Consort to his Queen need to be unshakable. So it makes sense to devote time now to addressing any cracks in him.

But they picked the wrong wraiths to do it.

The first vision should have been of Viserys, allowing Daemon the chance to lash out at him properly; for never treating him as the true heir, and for not realizing Daemons devotion to him as a brother and a ruler. A lot of this was Ottos HighTower's poisoning of Viserys against him, but Dream-Viserys should also bring up all the instances in which Daemons selfish and short sighted actions not only undermined his own cause but harmed those he proclaimed to love.

Case in point; Rhaenyra and the brothel. Riding high on the step stones victory Daemon could have used that leverage and well thought out arguments and petitioned for her hand; It would quieten those people who didn't like a woman as the next ruler, as they may feel he would rule through her, which was incorrect but it would mean they didn't act against her rule; it would have stopped those who were whispering that Aegon should be the heir as he was a son, as now the kings brother would be the next King(in a way); it wouldn't have been out of character for the family, and Daemon had always treated her well (even if Viserys didn't believe he truly loved her); Rhaenyra hadn't found any men on her tour she liked but after such a procession she needed to announce a betrothal. And Viserys could annul the marriage to Rhea and allow her to marry again - another female 'ruler' of her house, which would lend support to Rhaenyra's claim to rule as a woman and a daughter of the former Lord.

But instead Daemon tries to 'force' Viserys to give him what he wants, and looses out on all of it. Not only that, Rhaenyra's reaction to his abandonment is sleeping with Sir Criston and then rejecting him which creates an enemy for life, one who is now in command of her bothers Kingsguard and Army; An enemy she would not have if not for that night. Additionally a key part of Daemon trying to force the marriage relied upon Rhaenyra's reputation being sullied, which would have carried over to her as Queen. She would have started her rule with people whispering that she was a whore in the same way they currently whisper that her sons are bastards. In trying to get what he wanted Daemon actively harmed Rhaenyra, something he claimed in his next breath he would ever do; why on earth should Viserys trust that he loved her when his first act when back home was to harm her?

These discussions and scenes would be compared to Daemons actions with Blood and Cheese; anther instance of Daemon acting selfishly because he was frustrated but which harmed Rhaenyra's reputation and position as Queen. He needs to stop acting this way, or no one he loves will ever trust him to act without supervision.

The second vision should have been Jaehaerys, for Daemon to work through his reaction to having to manage both the duty as a ruler and that of a husband. Jaehaerys is seen in Fire and Blood and GOT as probably the greatest Targaryen King, however his actions as a father and grandfather were terrible and caused untold issues within the Targaryen family which Daemon is still dealing with. His disregard of his children left them feeling like pawns in his plans, his lack of care for his daughters and forcing them to not only marry but marry young lead of 4 of them dying before the age of 20 and 1 fleeing the continent, his decision to change the succession from Aemon's line (i.e. Rheneys) to his second son Baelon (who was alive with two sons - Viserys and Daemon) caused his wife to leave him and live apart for ~2 years, and his refusal to betroth Daemon to his youngest daughter instead of Rhea Royce caused Daemon years of anguish and didn't prevent his daughter Geal from dying a few years later.

Jaehaerys also put the succession to the vote in The Great Council, instead of deciding the succession for himself; he had already declared Baelon as his heir over Rhaenys when her father Amon died, he could have done the same again when Baelon died and simply stated that the succession stood unchanged and Viserys would continue to be his heir. Instead he called all the great houses and asked their opinions; not only did this fracture the relationships between Rhaenys and Viserys/Daemon as they stood as challengers to one another, it established a male heir as 'better' than a female one and it gave the houses the impression that their opinion on the succession could and should be asked for. Now The Greens are exploiting these precedents to argue that the houses (who follow Andal succession rules) should champion Aegon and ignore the previous Kings wishes. Jaehaerys acted as a ruler by soliciting his lords opinions, and not as a head of the family to prevent fracturing relationships.

As a result of or at least partially because of Jaehaerys' actions the Targaryen family at the time of his death had only 4 members (if you count Rhaenys as a Velaryon due to her marriage) and was fundamentally fractured, and now a succession is able to be challenged.

A Dream-Jaehaerys who praised Daemon for prioritizing the realm over his laboring wife would likely horrify Daemon. To be told that he was on the course to be that kind of ruler would be a great opportunity for Daemon to work through what kind of father and grandfather he wants to be within the context of also being a King. Daemon was shown to be quite a loving husband to those partners he loved and respected, so having him reaffirm that he doesn't want to be a great ruler at the expense of his family would be an amazing character moment.

The final vision should be of Aemma, his mother Alyssa, and his first wife Leana, to make Daemon realize that his 'role' is one traditionally held by women and yeah, news flash, it sucks. Oh your opinions and views, which are informed and intelligent, aren't being listened to? You can only advise the ruler and not just have your advice acted upon? Your power is dependent upon the person you married, and all your decisions, advice and suggestions must be run past them before they can be actioned? Wow, truly shocking, how horrible for you.

This is the reality of those married to the ruler and while that has up until now been a women you are seeking to change that and so it will be the role you occupy; Your duty is to advise and aid them, you will not be able to act in your own interest unless it aligns with theirs. Daemon would struggle with this, both as a man who has never needed to defer to his wife or to any woman to be 'allowed' to do anything, and also as a person who has never liked answering to others or having to have approval for his actions. When we see Leana and Daemon in Pentos it is clear that Daemon is in control of their life and decisions as a couple and a family; Leana wishes to return to Driftmark and needs to petition Daemon for permission to return. Daemon is not used to being the one needing to petition. This position is hard to navigate and so those who occupy it, and up until this point that was been women, have learned to work by influencing others and controlling those who are able to act without oversight or restriction.

It wouldn't be 100% the same for Daemon of course as he still is both a man in a world that values that and a proven leader, so his opinion will be sought out and heard. But he will need to come to terms with the reality of his role and the world in which he will operate.

If he wishes to be given greater freedoms to act independently then he must earn that trust, and to do so he needs to stop acting selfishly and re-prioritize his role as a husband and father over that of a leader and ruler. Then the actual ruler will trust in the decisions he makes enough that they will not need to constantly limit or review them.

And if he can make peace with the reality of his role within his family, in that he was never supposed to be King and will always be second to his wife, then he can finally be the support and comfort that he claims he wants to be to the woman he loves. He can stop judging her actions by the yardstick of his own perspective (i.e I would have handled that differently, and by not doing it my way you are doing it wrong) and truly help his family heal and reestablish themselves as the gods-amongst-men which he views them to be.

[dandelionjack]

inspired by fifteen trying to say shit and getting censored by the nanny filter, here’s a complete table of every doctors who and whether or not they use strong language

1 - no

2 - yeah

3 - rarely, but accurately and directly, in a dignified and sarcastic fashion

4 - ABSOLUTELY all the time. the tardis filter barely copes. we’ve all seen the K-9 clip, that’s what the character sounds like without the kids show censorship

5 - no. does he look like a man who swears to you? maybe some esoteric combination of words like fuckadoodle shitnozzles

6 - yes. duh

7 - he doesn’t enjoy it, but occasionally, sparingly, when the situation calls for it

8 - definitely . not too frequently, though. for emphasis, or for a laugh

9 - that man is a working class northerner from the 2000s and a jaded war veteran. draw your own conclusions. he knows elaborate insults you’ve never heard of

10 - cheeky little ‘fuck’ here and there with rose & martha, ALL THE TIME with donna, and swearing like hell when he starts going off the rails in the s4 specials

11 - lol no. well… he’s got an example to set to the companions that he treats like children. he’s a storybook character and he wants to be perceived as an imaginary friend, a kind almost victorian whimsical gentleman in a bowtie, and a person like that wouldn’t use crude language. with river song though? now THAT’S a whole other story

12 - the scene in dark water with the psychic paper tells us everything we need to know. twelve in series 8 was straight up pg13ified malcolm tucker. shuttity-up-up-up without the tardis filter sounds like fuckity-bye. he swears liberally, frequently, unsparingly and unceremoniously, at everyone without distinction, including clara’s students at coal hill. personally i think that’s one hell! of a fucking! bird!

13 - no. she’s all famalam hipster mum cringy kindergarten teacher. it doesn’t fit her ~vibe~. the master makes fun of this trait in the timeless children when he’s goading her about her superiority complex. says it’s such a step down from her previous self, at least that one was honest about his emotions

fugitive - she gives no fucks and takes no shit

14 - yes from time to time, like a normal human being would, nothing excessive. donna does bring it out in him though. his mouthy side

15 - this guy says cunt and serves it

[callmearcturus]

finished ted lasso and obvsly i have thoughts

okay i don't think the ending was bad, but i do not know how the fuck you don't see Ted's ending as an absolute tragedy. like a truly fucking upsetting tragedy.

i feel like they were onto something with the Phillip Larkin quote but then. it's like... they flinched from it. I don't think Ted is allowed to break his cycle. The show goes into frankly devastating detail on how Ted has lived his entire life like a fucking apology for existing, always giving and giving and giving, and in the end he.....

Like, given the implications of what Michelle did to him and how much you do or don't think Ted was oh idk gaslit by a therapist into ending his marriage, the fact is he uprooted his life and basically exiled himself just so his wife could have some space

and he fucking tripped into a community that loves him, people who love him, a team he can appreciably work with and improve, a career that has been massively rewarding, he literally was set up from the word go to fucking fail and instead Rebecca rehabilitated herself and decided she'd do anything for this man she tricked into moving to England

like, even fuckign Beard stayed. even Beard.

I don't understand how its anything but a tragedy. and it's so frustrating because the show lands so many other things. Hell, I am a Nate Hater and I didn't really buy the entirety of his redemption arc. But that scene with Beard? is one of the best in the entire fucking show.

Roy's getting therapy and is the new GM. Rebecca directed AFC Richmond to victory in the name of love instead of spite. Jaime has grown so much as a person he's barely recognizable from when we meet him in S1. Nate gets a second chance at life. Keeley and Rebecca are reunited and going to change the world. Colin kissed his fella in front of the whole world and has a mega-hot fairy godfather.

And Ted just... goes back to Kansas, and leaves his home behind, leaves all those people behind.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad, indeed. Be the goldfish.

[samcats]

Mike and Wills friendship vs everybody elses

I’m sick of people acting like Mike and Wills friendship is platonic when 1. One literally had a crush on the other and 2. None of the other friendships are treated the same way Mike and Will are throughout the seasons so let’s go over them!

(This is gonna be a long one!)

Season 2 & 1

First off, in season 1, the show focuses on how Will going missing effects Mike the most out of all his friends. Mike is the only one to notice Will isn’t at school the day he goes missing. Mike is the one to come up with the idea to go out looking for him. Mike only keeps El around when he realizes she can help find Will. Mike is the only one that’s focused on after they find Will’s “dead” body. Mike is the only one out of the party members that holds proper hope that Will may still be alive.

In season 2 he was the only one that went outside of the arcade to check where Will had gone. He was the only one that noticed Will was being extra quiet that day at school. He panicked when he couldn’t find Will, “Will what’s wrong? I couldn’t find you, are you hurt? I’m gonna get you home, okay? I’m gonna get you home”, He purposely volunteered himself to go check on Will and then proceed to stay with Will in the hospital for days afterwards. He was the only one out of his friends that stayed with Will in the shed when he was possessed.

Edit: also wanted to point out how in the crazy together scene when Will told Mike about the mindflayer he said “just please don’t tell the others okay? They wouldn’t understand.” Implying that Will trusts Mike the most and that he thinks only Mike would understand what he’s going through.

& Will only yelled Mike’s name when he was having an episode before the crazy together scene happened. He didn’t yell Lucas’s name or Dustin’s or even Jonathan or his mums, his first instinct was to call Mike for help. Both of these things furthermore prove my point that their friendship is different from the others and they’re much closer

Again, the show focuses on Will and Mikes friendship the most this season. Not their friendships with Lucas or Dustin or anybody else, just with eachother. None of the other friendships in the show have done anything like this. Hell none of the friendships in the show ever GET as much attention and focus as Mike and Will do throughout the seasons. They are treated so differently. Still don’t believe me?

Season 3

One of the most iconic Byler scenes is the rain fight scene. Now I'm not really gonna talk about how obviously romantic this scene is by itself. But how it contrasts Will and Lucas's apology scene. The contrast between these two scenes is such a huge piece of evidence to me and I'm surpsired I don't see it around more

(Thank you to this video for saving me while I was trying to find the scenes https://youtu.be/u-rLx10eROw?si=vdGoQNtnXU103iZt )

Here’s the two scenes mixed together for reference:

Byler’s fight

In the Byler scene, it has buildup. Will getting mad and then bursting out of the room, Mike follows him while Lucas stays behind. Once they get outside, the lighting is dark and blue. The music playing in the background is somber. The way both characters talk and act makes you know that this is a serious scene. The aftermaths of Will going to his house and crying as he destroys castle Byers. And Mike and Lucas biking out to find him in the rain. You could make the argument that Lucas being there makes this scene bad proof, but it focusing more on Mike then Lucas tells you otherwise.

Lucas’s apology

It’s super rushed, you barely even notice it. It’s super random and isn’t focused on at all, it just starts with Lucas saying he’s sorry and Will saying it doesn’t matter and it’s pretty much over. The lighting is bright, our minds are more focused on trying to get ready to trap Billy then the actual conversation they’re having. Neither Lucas or Will react to it afterwards. You could literally skip this scene and you wouldn’t miss anything.

So why have such a useless scene in the middle of nowhere?

The Byler rain fight is such an important scene to show how Mike and Wills friendship has gone downhill, to show the change between children and teenagers, and also to hint at Will's sexuality. The Lucas and Will scene is just so useless and random and could've been left out, but the way it contrasts the Byler fight scene makes me think that its only purpose was to show the difference between Mike and Wills friendship together vs anybody else's, and nothing else. Because why else have it there? If Mike and Wills scene wasn't meant to have a deeper meaning, then why make it as dramatic as it was? Why build it up the way they did?? If it was platonic the scene would've been more similar to the Lucas scene and/or toned down a LOT.

It's undeniable that the Duffers where trying to show us something with these two scenes

Season 4

You can tell there’s clearly tension between Mike and Will when they reunite in the airport, which is very odd. Mike and Will are best friends, and again, Mike wouldn’t act this way with any of his other friends. He didn’t even act this way with El

Mike then later admits that he was being an asshole to Will, and we get that beautiful “friends. Best friends.” Scene.

Now, I want you to rewatch that scene and pretend that Will is Max or Lucas or Dustin or Erica or Steve or Jonathan or anybody Mike is friends with. But you can’t. It just feels too wrong and too romantic, doesn’t it? It seems weird as well, because we know full well Mike wouldn’t say something like that to any of his other friends. He’s never had a conversation like that with any of his other friends, either. This is because they’re just that. Friends. So why should it be any different for Will and Mike?

This is the same for any scene with Mike and Will. Season 4 or not

And if you seriously cannot notice the difference between Mike and Wills friendship vs anybody else’s, you need to do a rewatch

Anyways, there’s probably more stuff I could add but I’m gonna leave it at that for now. If you have anything to add leave it in the comments! Thank you for reading

[ghcstao3]

that one slower scene in every superhero movie when the good guys take a beating from the villain and need to regroup, so one of the members of the team is like 'i know a place'.

so, nik gets some coordinates from soap and flies them to a countryside in scotland where mrs mactavish greets them on the front porch of a lovely house and immediately threats them with an ass whooping if they don't take their muddy combat boots off before going inside.

momma mactavish seems completely unafazed by a helicopter in her backyard, doesn't ask any questions, treats them all like a family. she's tiny and a little scary, makes them eat their vegetables and treats them to a delicious dessert. she can't stop kissing johnny's head and roast him for his mohawk.

ghost notices how relaxed and happy johnny is and how domesticity suits him. he would like to see it more often. for the first time in his life he is reluctant to come back to work.

immediately pictured the avengers at hawkeye’s house

-

Usually when someone on their team says I know a place when they find themselves in a bout of trouble, they don’t usually mean their childhood home.

Usually, I know a place means a warehouse, a run-down safe house, or, God forbid, some cave. And yet instead, here they all exist idly in Soap’s mum’s house while she coddles them in between scolding her son like it’s just another normal day for her. Like they aren’t all hardened soldiers standing in her home, each with innumerable kill counts and severely blacked-out personnel files.

It’s… weird, being crowded into a dining room and served a home-cooked meal despite coming unannounced and uninvited. That isn’t to say they’re not all thankful, having surely used up the last of Mrs. MacTavish’s gauze and bandages to get to this point, but it’s just—not at all what any of the team had been expecting.

Soap’s about the only one who seems unperturbed. Price is still rubbing his wrist from when Mrs. MacTavish smacked him for his insistence on helping with supper.

You’re guests, she had said, sounding positively aghast. What kind of host do you take me for?

Ghost can certainly see where Soap had gotten his fiery nature, as he bickers back and forth with his mother while the rest of them eat quietly, tentatively, like they’re not sure they’re allowed to. They may not share much in looks, but it’s no doubt that Soap is his mother’s son.

By the time dessert rolls around—which is yet another surprise—Mrs. MacTavish has finally been directing conversation to the soldiers sat around her table, asking about work and life as if they aren’t all bruised and scarred and about half-dead from an awful fight. Yet they all find themselves discussing what’s asked of them like it’s no more than the weather.

Something about Mrs. MacTavish’s spirit instills a sense of familiarity, homeliness. Ghost understands why Soap thought to bring them all there.

Ultimately it’s Gaz who charms Soap’s mum away to the living room along with Price and Nik that lets Ghost, at the very least, get away with helping with dishes once everything is said and done. Unfortunately for Soap, he’s never offered the choice.

“Good thing you have goin’ on here, Johnny,” Ghost eventually remarks, once they’re finally in the swing of wash, dry, wash, dry. “Not afraid of anything getting traced back here? To her?”

Soap shakes his head as he scrubs at a particularly tough stain. “Nah. It’s no’ on any of my records. Hell, it’s barely on any records. We’re off grid, LT, no need to worry your pretty head.”

Ghost rolls his eyes. He wipes off the plate that’s handed to him before setting it on the drying rack, and tossing his towel over his shoulder. It’s not until Soap’s trying to hand him something else does he take notice of Ghost’s pause.

Slowly, Soap sets the dish back in the water, frowning up at Ghost. “What?”

“…Nothin’,” Ghost says after much too long. He huffs. “Just… nice seeing what home looks like on you.”

Ghost doesn’t allow himself to linger watching Soap’s expression change from confusion to a near softness, instead making a reach for the discarded dish in the murky, soapy water to kick their routine back in gear.

He doesn’t want to think about it too closely. Doesn’t want to think about the things he’s realizing about himself this evening, or the fleeting thought that maybe he’d like to stay here forever, instead of return to the field where death waits openly at every turn.

It’s still appreciated, though, this moment of tranquility. He’ll have to make sure to thank Mrs. MacTavish when he gets the chance.

[spacerockfloater]

You know what, I didn’t need to see Ewan Mitchell in HOTD to be convinced; I knew I fucked with Aemond since the Driftmark episode.

I don’t like him because he’s hot when he’s older. I like him because he’s metal as fuck. The way he talked to the floppy four was art.

“It’s him! / It’s me.”

Boy, it sure as hell is him. He ate that line up. The fucking nerve of speaking about him without addressing him. He was so done with their bullshit.

“Your mother’s dead. And Vhagar has a new rider now.”

Gagged her ass. Like, he met her literally today. He never knew her mother, he doesn’t owe her anything. Not to mention that during the funeral he tried to approach them and offer them his condolences with the softest smile ever and they just glared daggers at him for literally no reason until he backed off. Didn’t even let him approach. They don’t even know him and they hate him! And the first thing they tell him once they finally speak to him is accusing him of theft, as if a dragon is an object btw. Like, what are they gonna do? Tell their mum? Shut up.

“Then you should have claimed her.”

Right?! As if they didn’t cross the whole ass Narrow Sea all the way to Driftmark. It’s not like Laena died yesterday. It’s been a good fucking while. They could have at least tried claiming her at this point. What was she waiting for? And please don’t tell me she was waiting for the mourning period to end because she was keeping an eye on Vhagar constantly, hence why she was immediately aware that she flew away. That dragon is on her mind 24/7, she just had no idea how to get her. And like, it’s done. If Vhagar chose Aemond, then she would have never chosen her. They weren’t destined for one another. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be mad as shit, too. At myself, that is, for not being as smart as Aemond.

“Maybe your cousins could find you a pig to ride. It would suit you.”

Ate and left no crumbs. This is a direct jab at Jace and Luc, too. Like, they grew up together as brothers and they thought it was okay to mock him for not having a dragon, but the moment they meet these random girls they are suddenly okay with Rhaena not having one and are ready to jump the boy they were raised with for their shake? How two faced. Typical bastard behaviour though. He was doing that girl a favour by letting her know what kind of people she’s got on her side.

And the fighting scene was delicious. Four vs one and he still mopped the floor with them. Maybe they should think twice before they lay hands on someone again.

Don’t come in my comments crying about me hating on children yada yada. Wake up, this is a fictional show about kids who wield nuclear weapons of mass destruction. Like, it was okay to dislike 11yo Draco Malfoy for being an obnoxious piece of shit, but disliking kids that physically attack another child with the intention of killing him is suddenly too much? Like, I don’t give a fuck. I want to see all four of them biting the curb in 4k. And please don’t start with the racist accusation bullshit. I thought Baela was a raging pick-me cunt since before the show, in Fire and Blood. And I absolutely adore Vaemond Velaryon. It’s not about race. It’s about characters.

P.S. Laena, who claimed Vhagar at 12 and chose to die by burning alive, would be absolutely ashamed about her daughter’s behaviour and lack of courage. But yeah, Daemon, being the crazy ax murderer that he is, would surely vibe with unnecessary violence. Those are his girls!

[writerswall26]

My Sweet Cairo (Part 3)

Synopsis: The Ravens' Soccer team Captain fell in love for Cairo Sweet

Warning: Slight cursing, Student-Teacher relations, Anger rage. Other than that, none that I know of (but feel free to correct me)

Words: 2.2k

Masterlist | Previous Part| Next Part

A/N: Some small fluff before the start of it all. Also, I apologize to all the football (yes! I call it football, they use their foot! Sue me! But for the sake of the story, I'll call it soccer.) enthusiast out there that knows their thing. Happy Reading!

Y/N was on her way home on friday when she noticed a car on Cairo's driveway. She did not expect Cairo's parents to be home. She slowed down for a couple of moments only to be greeted by Mr. Miller walking out of Cairo's front door, looking horrified and dishevelled and wet.

There was stinging in her eyes as she watched their literature teacher run to his car and drive off without looking back. She watched him until he was out of sight before she let the tears fall. The anger inside her bubbling once again. She rode her bike, went home and slammed her bedroom door shut. Her mum's at the hospital right now, she's on call.

The next thing she knows, she's throwing everything that she got her hands on, punching a hole in the wall every chance she gets. Flash backs coming to her. She despises them. Students like them, like Cairo.

"Fuck you!" She shouted, throwing a lamp on the wall. "Fuck all of you!" She shouted before her sobs were heard. Her body slumping on her closet door as she cried. Her body was shaking. She couldn't take it.

The flashback of herself running to her parents' bedroom when she heard the gunshot, the red colour flowing down the floor, and the sight of her father's unmoving body, a bullet hole in his head as the gun's dropped on the floor. All of it, coming back to her like a tidal wave, taking her down with it and not letting her breathe even for a second. Then she was out cold.

When she woke up, her room was already tidied up, no more shattered glasses on the floor, the holes on the wall were still there, her hand bandaged up gently. She groaned as she pushed herself up, looking around her room. It was like the scene from last night did not happen. The only evidence of it were the holes.

When she got down to get herself lunch, which she did not notice, she found her mother already preparing the table. Y/M/N gave her daughter a smile as she patted the empty spot beside her.

"I was going to wake you up in a bit. Big night tonight." Y/M/N said, not mentioning or asking what the hell happened last night. She knows better.

"What time did you come in last night?" Y/N asked her mother who turned to her with a smile.

"Just a little over midnight. I was gonna check in on you but you were passed out cold on the floor so I dragged your heavy ass on your bed. Rough day yesterday?" Y/M/N said, not wanting to ask questions. She wants to let her daughter feel free to tell her things.

Y/N nodded. "It was, yeah. Or maybe the championship game is getting ahead of me. Thanks for patching my hand, cleaning my room, and dragging my huge ass on my bed." She smiled.

Y/M/N chuckled as they started to eat. "Are you ready for tonight's game? You know I'm still extremely proud of you even if you sit this down, right?" She assured.

"Nah, I can't. I want to win this game and whack Mr. Miller with the championship cup, together with my MVP trophy." She joked, hypothetically.

"Ooff, that's a bit aggressive." Y/M/N said, making Y/N laugh.

"We have a bet going on. I don't want to lose to a one time book publishing writer." Y/N said, there was something in her voice that Y/M/N can't quite pinpoint on, but she did not push it.

"I'll see you at school, mum." Y/N bid her mum goodbye a couple of hours after lunch to go get ready for the championship game.

"Good luck, sweetheart." Y/M/N told her daughter and gave her a kiss on the cheek before she let Y/N go.

When Y/N got to the locker room, everyone was already there, preparing.

"Where have you been, man? And what happened to your hand?" Jasmine was the first to find her.

Y/N just smiled before she put her duffel bag down, got her clothes and shoes out and went to go change. They didn't have enough time to speak as it was about to start in a few minutes. After Y/N changed, she removed the bandage in her hand with a wince, seeing the wounds but paying no mind as coach Fillmore clapped his hands to get their attention.

He did his usual motivational speech but this time, a bit aggressive and rough. Then they all turned to Y/N who was not in her usual smiling face.

"The Sharks were the hardest bunch to defeat in the rosters this year. But we already did that. However, we don't want to be complacent. The timberwolves were a menace last season, we managed to beat them but this is different. They're gonna be rough and dirty. So I suggest, if you must, join them at their game." She said, aggression and venom in her voice.

Everyone was quiet after that. They know she was not here to play and she's gonna do whatever means necessary to win that cup. Coach noticed the tense atmosphere so he clapped his hands and got their attention.

"Alright! Let's get out there and get this cup! Go, Ravens!" He shouted, guiding his team out the lockers to the dugout.

Y/N was front in line as they waited for their team name to be called. The usual starter went on with the national anthem and rules laid down from the refs.

"You sure you're down to play?" Coach Fillmore asked when he got a few moments with Y/N before the game started.

"Yes, sir." Y/N said, looking at the fields to focus herself.

"Y/N." He called out which got her to look at him. He was worried, she can see that. Her body is whacked and he's not sure if she's really ready for this game emotionally.

"I can do this. I can play." She assured them with a burning desire to win in her eyes. The coach nodded, not knowing what to say or do so he let her.

As soon as they got on the field, Y/N was aggressive. She was soloing the fields left and right, kicking the ball to the post whenever she could but nothing was going in. She was getting frustrated when the last 5 minutes of the first half came so she did what she knew in the moment, slamming bodies and aggressive goal kicking.

She heard a whistle blowing and then a yellow card on her face by the time the first half was over.

Y/N slammed the door of the locker room as soon as she got inside, then Jasmine lunged at her, screaming at her.

"What the fuck were you thinking?! What was that?!" Jasmine keeps berating her while their teammates are pulling Jasmine off her.

"Y/L/N! What was that?!" Coach Fillmore followed as Y/N fixed herself. "Get your ass out of here and take a breather before I pull you out of the game all together!"

Y/N picked up her water bottle and stormed out of the locker room. She was pacing back and forth on the dark dugout before throwing her water bottle on the wall.

"Y/N!" Someone called out, a voice she knew all too well.

"Cairo, get away from me, I swear to God." Y/N angrily said, facing the shorter girl as she breathes heavily.

Cairo stared at her for a moment before walking towards her but she stepped back.

"Leave, now!" She shouted, making Cairo flinched, but she made no attempt to leave.

"What is happening to you? You're throwing away your game, your championship. You literally tackled a player out there." Cairo said, a certain sweetness in her voice that made Y/N's knees buckle but she stood firm.

"What the fuck do you care?" Y/N asked aggressively. "Why are you even here?!"

"Because I care for you, I want you to win this game." Cairo said, slowly walking towards her, wanting their distance to close in so she could hold Y/N but the taller girl kept walking back.

"I saw you." Y/N said, staring at Cairo to see her reaction. "At Vanderbilt. With Mr. Miller. That's why you rejected my invite right? Because you were with Mr. Miller?"

Cairo's brows furrowed for a bit, Y/N almost saw her panic before Cairo smiled and walked towards her, holding a hand on her chest.

"Is that why you've been acting all weird lately? Because you saw me with Mr. Miller?" Cairo asked, her voice laced with amusement. "He's helping me with my essay, Y/N. It was nothing."

Y/N shook her head, not believing what she's hearing but Cairo held her cheek, pulling her face so she could look at the brunette in front of her. Cairo's smile never left her face as she caressed Y/N's face gently. Calming the taller girl.

"Are you jealous?" She asked, amused.

Y/N rolled her eyes and looked away again but Cairo pulled her face back so she could look at her.

"You're really jealous." Cairo let out a giggle before she pulled Y/N's face and gave her a long sweet kiss.

When Cairo pulled away, there was still the sweet smile, her forehead on Y/N's forehead.

"Y/N, I like you. I know I should've told you this earlier." She said.

"Then what was Mr. Miller doing at your house? Last friday. I saw him walk out of your front door looking bothered and disoriented." She asked, pulling herself away.

Cairo gave her a look. "There was a small mishap that happened, he accidentally grabbed my phone so he went to my place to give it back. He was supposed to be on a weekend getaway with his wife when she called it off because there was something wrong, I don't know."

Y/N stared at Cairo for a long time, reading her, seeing a semblance of a lie, but nothing. Then she sighed, walking over to Cairo and leaning her head on the shorter girl's shoulder. Cairo's hand was immediately at the back of her head, playing with her hair, soothing her.

"I cannot believe I got jealous over nothing." Y/N groaned before she pulled her head back to look at Cairo who's already giggling.

"Maybe next time before you go all hulk on everyone, try to ask me first."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Y/N said before she leaned forward to capture Cairo's lips for the last time.

When she pulled back, there was already a smile on her face. All the anger and resentment bubbling down with everything that Cairo said. She's finally at peace.

"Now, go back there. Apologize to your team and to coach Fillmore. Apologize to that player you tackled. And go win this damn championship." Cairo told her sweetly. Y/N nodded before she straightened up.

"See you after I win this game." Y/N said and went back to the locker room. When she got there, the team was already waiting for her, 2 minutes before the second half started.

"I'm sorry. My head is in shambles, I was a mess. But I promise, I am all calmed and ready to play nice." She told them.

Her team looked at each other before Jasmine stood up and walked to her. Jasmine smiled, holding a hand.

"Let's get this championship done." Jasmine said. Y/N took her hand before the locker room erupted in cheers and hype.

"Alright!" Coach shut them up. "We're gonna play nice, play fair, and we're gonna score. Ready?"

"Yes, sir!" Everyone shouted before they were out of the locker room and into the fields.

Y/N walked to the player she tackled and apologized. The player was pissed to say the least but she accepted Y/N apology and playfully taunted her. The game went smoothly with no aggressiveness.

"Y/L/N ran the fields, dodging 2 players at a time, the ball steady in her feet, she sidestepped and GOAL!" The commentator said, watching in anticipation as the Ravens scored their winning goal for the championship.

The stands erupted in cheers and whistles. The ravens tackled Y/N with a hug, throwing her on their shoulder and chanting her name. It was a wonderful game for both teams despite the earlier play.

Y/N held the championship trophy up, looking up at the sky with teary eyes.

"For you, dad." She muttered before she was let down to celebrate.

The first person Y/N looked for was her mum, who was patiently waiting on the side, tears in her eyes, her hands held together. Y/N ran to her mum and gave her a tight hug.

"I'm so so proud of you, darling!" Y/M/N said, holding her daughter's face to give her a kiss. Y/N let her mum before she gave her the MVP trophy as well.

"This game is for you, and dad." She said, smiling widely at her mum who sobbed. She held her mum tightly in her arms.

"Your father would be so proud of you, he would be so proud." Y/M/N cried in her daughter's arms.

When her mum finally calmed down, Y/M/N told her to go celebrate so she did. She looked around until she found the person she was looking for, she ran to Cairo and hugged her tight, making the shorter girl laugh in her arms.

"Congratulations, baby. I'm so proud of you." Cairo said, patting Y/N's back before the taller girl pulled away.

"I bet you are." Y/N said before she leaned down and gave Cairo a loving kiss.

They heard the Ravens shouting and cheering but they paid no mind as they got lost in their own world.

[gcslingss]

heart to heart. colt seavers.

summary: the last two days were being especially shitty. your close friend colt invites you over to a scene shoot, and suddenly everything becomes a little bit better.

pairing: colt seavers x gn!reader

warnings: heavy fluff, slight angst, kissing, mild swearing.

word count: 1.8k

notes: firstly, yes, the fic's name is mac demarco's song. i recommend listening to it while reading this. secondly, i had a terrible day today, thus the birth of this fic. hope you guys enjoy :)

p.s: colt is the sweetest guy ever. i wish he was real.

Today had been the worst day of the week.

You’d been told off, looked down at, or backhandedly insulted by nearly everyone you spoke to, and that didn’t leave the best feeling in you by the time it was nearly midnight and you were still awake, staring at the ceiling of your room.

Even your mum had called you clingy and ignored you, and your neighbour had started to pretend you didn’t exist, ignoring your attempts to talk to him, to give him the cake you’d made that afternoon, and he made sure to make you see how much of a good time he was having with his girlfriend.

And to top it all off, your best friend hadn’t contacted you in a week. You knew he was a stuntman and therefore was often busy, but that didn’t mean he could completely ignore you.

You really didn’t know what you’d done wrong to be having such a shitty day.

that’s when your phone pinged beside your pillow. You wouldn’t have checked it, but it pinged with the special sound you’d set for Colt Seavers.

What the fuck? There was no way Colt was texting after an entire fucking week.

You were bitter about it, but not enough to ignore it. So you picked up the phone, and saw two new texts from him in the lock screen preview.

Hi :)

You’re probably sleeping right now, but I’m way too excited not to tell you right now

You waited to see where he was going with this. A minute later, the third text came.

We’re shooting a really special scene for the movie I’m part of tomorrow - I have a big role

And then another one.

D’you wanna come? It would be so cool if you did

You would’ve been lying if you said you didn’t feel your heart warm up when you read that, a smile tugging at your lips. Any irritation you felt for him melted away.

You didn’t hesitate to properly open the text and send him a quick reply.

I’m up, shockingly

Yeah, I’d love to come :]]

There was an enthusiastic response, and then he went offline. 

Well. 

At least there was something to look forward to now.

You placed the phone aside and shuffled into the covers of your bed. You needed sleep if you were going to support him right tomorrow.

… … …

“-and apparently it’s some sort of sci-fi movie, and he’s got a whole lot of-“

“Sorry, I kinda need to go.”

And just like that, your so-called childhood friend walked away, eyes still glued to her phone’s screen, still giggling, not bothering to ever give you a wave or second look.

You stared at her leaving figure rather desolately, feeling numb, yet highly irritated. It only took a few seconds for the irritation to simmer down into severe self-doubt.

Were you annoying? Is that why nobody wanted to talk to you? 

Did you say too much? Or were you not interesting enough? 

What the hell was everyone’s problem?

The only who’d shown any signs of tolerating you recently was Colt, but there was this heavy feeling in your heart that even he was being fake. 

Maybe you shouldn’t go to the shoot. He probably only invited you as a courtesy. he probably didn’t even want you there.

Like a fucking sign from the sky, your phone pinged, and a new message from him read-

Hope you didn’t forget you’ve got an appointment with me today doofus

You didn’t want to laugh, but it bubbled through your throat anyway, and something akin to the feeling of holding a warm candle on a winter day spread through your fingers.

He was so annoying.

… … …

You hadn’t moved a single muscle out of your little square for the past 2 hours, your arms stiff by your sides, your hands anxiously fiddling with each other, your bottom barely touching the chair you were given, and your eyes downcast, staring emptily at the sand.

There had been 3 takes of Colt’s super-actiony ‘falling from the sky’ stunt to be approved by the director. 

It was break time now, and all the present actors and the director had retreated to their trailers. the only people outside were some of the snacking stuntmen, two extras fanning themselves, and you, too absorbed in your self-deprecating thoughts to have even realized the shoot was on break.

“You alright?”

Your neck could’ve snapped with the speed you looked up at, and you physically felt your face muscles cramp when you shifted expressions from despairing to absolutely peachy in less than a second.

“Hey! Yeah, I’m good,” you said, forcing a smile, “Just peachy.”

No. That word should’ve stayed in your head. Fuck.

Colt frowned, smiling almost suspiciously, “When have you ever used that word out loud?”

“…Just now,” you unconvincingly said. You were far too tired to come up with a good response.

“Was I good?” he asked, brushing past it, and you nodded, the smile becoming a little bit more genuine than before. 

“You were great.”

He smiled too, and then observed you for a moment, his eyes searching, searching for any sign that you weren’t okay.

That was the plain truth, but you couldn’t let him know - not on his big day. 

“I’m okay, Colty,” you said, patting him on his shoulder. You could see the extras watching your interaction, and your skin prickled.

“I’m gonna get going now, okay?” you said, standing up as stiff as ever, and turned, only to feel Colt’s hand pull on your wrist, stopping you.

“What?” you whined. Colt turned you by the shoulders to face you and watched your face, and you tried to ignore the way his lips formed the softest, fondest smile as he said, “Don’t go yet, c’mon.”

“You…you’re going to be busy, and I probably have something waiting for me at home, and I don’t want to imp-“

“D’you wanna talk for a bit? Maybe in Tom’s trailer?”

It became clear to you that he was not planning on letting you leave yet. 

You thought about how tired you were, mentally and physically. Your brain hurt from all the buzzing, and your muscles hurt from the constant rigidity.

But then you thought about Colt, and his pretty smile, and his big blue eyes, and his husky laughter, and your mouth mumbled a soft “Okay.”

Colt nodded, and slung an arm over your shoulder as the two of you walked across the set towards the trailers.

… … …

“So Tom doesn’t mind if you use his trailer?”

“I mean, it’s not like he knows about it, so…”

You laughed and punched Colt in the arm, causing him to make a face that made you laugh harder.

But then the laughter died down, and your brain started buzzing again. You went silent, a dormant smile still on your face.

Colt noticed.

“I can tell when you’re feeling shitty,” he murmured, and as his hand slid into yours, you wondered how he even managed to use the exact word you used to describe your day.

You shook your head and shrugged, muttering a “I’m fine,” but then he scooted closed to you and began to rub gentle circles on your palm, uttering your name so softly, and something in you snapped.

Tears came to your eyes as your head drooped and you softly sobbed, throat feeling awfully tight.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, voice muddled, “I didn’t mean to cry, I’m sorry…”

“Hey, no, c’mon,” you heard him say softly, and his two arms wrapped around you, engulfing you in a hug you wished you’d gotten ages ago.

His fingers carded through your hair, his left hand held you close, and you could feel his lips by your temple, silent but reassuring.

You cried for an entire six minutes, because every time you told yourself to stop, the nonchalant gaze of your neighbour or the sharp words of your mum flashed in your mind and the tears came back twice as heavy.

Colt let you cry, and didn’t say a word about how you were drenching his jacket in tears, his little movements being the only thing keeping you from collapsing in your head.

When the weight you’d been feeling the entire day seemed to finally disappear, you pulled away, but only partly, still seeking Colt’s warmth.

“You alright?” he asked, voice softer than a whisper, and you felt so relieved when you smiled so naturally, and nodded.

“Yeah.” You wiped away the tear streaks on your cheeks. “I just… had a really bad few days. Everyone sounds a little extra rude.”

“I hope I’m not on the list,” he said, and you chuckled, shaking your head.

“Of course not,” you said. “You made everything better, if anything.”

“Well, I’m glad.”

You looked up at him. His gaze was keen, concerned, and so warm. His fingers were still caressing your palm. 

What a wonderful creature he was.

You found yourself leaning in and kissing him, something he most certainly did not expect, but the  faint sigh he elicited told you he didn’t mind it whatsoever. 

He kissed you back, harder.

Shit.

The heat of his mouth, the feeling of his chapped lips against yours, his large hands cupping your face, and the little sounds he made when you brought his head close seemed to complete the healing of your tired heart, and after what seemed like an eternity, the two of you broke away.

His eyes were fixed on you, flustered, but appreciative now. His face was flushed. 

After a moment’s silence, he looked down at his watch.

“Tom’s gonna be here any minute,” he muttered, his voice hoarse and hesitating. “We should leave this little hellhole.”

“Yeah. Okay.” It was an automatic response, because your brain really wasn’t functioning.

You got down the trailer, and thankfully no one spotted either of you, because of how Tom liked his privacy. 

“There’s a little bit of the scene left,” Colt explained. “They probably don’t need me, but I should go check it out.”

“Of course. Yeah. I-I should probably head home too. I really enjoyed watching you stunt, by the way. It was great.” You gave him a a pat on his back. 

“Good. That’s good.”

Colt nodded, giving you one final grin, and then turned to leave.

No, wait.

“...Colt?” you called out. 

He stopped in his tracks and spun around. He looked expectant.

“Yeah?”

You didn’t know if you were crossing any lines with what you were going to say, but at that moment, you didn’t exactly care. 

“I love you,” you said, and the words came so easily. “And thank you.”

You could see Colt’s breathing hitch, his chest raised mid-breath. Then, slowly breathing out, he murmured the words “I love you too” back, before he asked-

“Could I, um, come over tonight, maybe? I’m gonna be free,so....”

You’d forgotten anything and everything that had annoyed you at this point. All you could hear in your head was Colt now.

“Yeah, of course. Please.”

He grinned at your response, and he gave you a little goodbye wave, before walking away.

Two little hearts became whole that moment.

[ghost-bison]

Doctor Who: 1x08 The Satan Pit (2006) / 60th anniversary special 2/3 Wild Blue Yonder (2023)

I frankly love that parallel. One scene taken out of each of the two RTD eras.

First there's the colour palettes. You can see that they're polar opposites. RTD era1 was warm all the time as talked about in this post (which I love dearly, I keep referencing it in my posts), and then we have RTD era2, which has a more modern-looking, colder palette for science fiction.

But it's also a directing choice for the mood I think, cause on the one hand, we have Rose who, we all know, would even give up on seeing her mum again if it meant she got to spend the rest of her life with the Doctor (quite like Donna back in series 4 actually, who was very prompt to say she was going to travel with Ten forever). On the other hand we have Donna in 2023 who's now got a daughter and a husband and who hadn't even planned on doing a trip with the Doctor in the first place, let alone at the edge of the universe. I mean, they were just supposed to go see Wilfred! On one side we have Ten who's slowly recovering from the trauma of the Time War and falling in love for the first time in a while and re-learning that he deserves to be loved, too. On the other side we have Fourteen who, just as Donna put it, is "staggering", and as Fifteen said, is "running on fumes". He's got FOUR regenerations worth of trauma on Ten who was already struggling as it was with one (since the Time War I mean. Maybe two if we count Nine, cause who knows what he's been through between his regeneration and meeting Rose). Fourteen went through losing Rose, Donna, Amy, Rory, River, Clara, Bill, and he went through Pandorica, billions of years imprisoned by the Time Lords in his own personal hell, finding out about the Timeless Child, etc... and now, on top of everything, he's got to deal face to face with the guilt of what he did to Donna as she's been given back to him. Anyway, it's dark, when you think about it. No wonder the colours are so much colder in Wild Blue Yonder.

Then there's the music. In The Satan Pit, the soundtrack, The Impossible Planet, has a mystical quality to it. It's slightly creepy (I mean, it IS an episode about Satan), but it's mostly mysterious. Ten and Rose are only 500 years away from home. But in Wild Blue Yonder, Fourteen and Donna are 100 TRILLION YEARS away from home. The soundtrack from that scene, The Edge of Creation, isn't just mysterious, it's eerie and ethereal and perfectly encompasses what it would feel like to stand somewhere so impossibly alien it has become supernatural (if you can't tell I am obsessed with that track and episode lmao).

I love the contrast between Rose and Donna and the questions they ask. Rose's question is cute, she's like "I've seen it in films, is that it?", it stems from a place of curiosity, like she doesn't really realize the deep shit that they're in. She's just a kid. Whereas Donna's question, it stems from a place of dread: "Where's the light?". It almost has a "The Licked Hand" quality to it (if you don't know that story: the girl is scared, she puts her hand under the bed, her dog licks it. She goes into the bathroom, finds her dog dead in the tub, and written in its blood are the words 'humans can lick too').

Then, finally, there's the order in which things have been done: in The Satan Pit, Rose remarks they're "a long way from home". Ten takes a long look at her, and seeing that she seems a bit scared, he explains to her how long it would take to get home. In Wild Blue Yonder, Fourteen first explains to Donna how long it would take to get home, and only THEN, he takes a long look at her, and finally Donna says "that's my family, over there". It parallels Rose's sentence in the sense that they both talk about home and how far away it is, but they use different words for it with a different meaning behind. Donna is more specific on what she'll be returning to when it's over (her family), whereas Rose, who isn't as grounded as her, just says "home" (which, for her, probably just means the place she grew up). I also love the contrast between Rose's "a long way" and Donna's "over there". The first implies foreign, the second implies close enough to see. What's interesting about this bit is Donna is further away from home than Rose is, geographically speaking. But for Rose, Home is actually the Doctor, just him, so she has no problem saying she's "a long way from home" since she doesn't mean it in the same way Donna would. So for Donna, when she says "over there", it's because the Home she's talking about is closer to her heart, and she's probably trying to reassure herself that she'll see her family again (I used to do something like that when I was in primary school, I'd travel all the way back to my house in my head to kiss my parents on the cheek because I was so homesick).

So that's that I guess

[ssinboo]

It's Always been Us

summary: After your unplanned confession, you avoid Seungkwan until an unexpected issue brings you to contact him. When you finally get in touch, secrets are revealed.

Part 3 of As it Was

pairing: Middle School Teacher! Reader x Entertainer!Seungkwan

word count: 16.5k (1h~ read)

warnings: miscommunication, mentions of past trouble, unprotected sex, background character cheating, creampie, body worship, dry humping, minor mentions of exhibitionism, so many spicy scenes.

A/N: AND IT'S OVER!!!! thank you so much, everyone!

“This is Boo Seungkwan, I’m not available right now, leave a message after the beep.”

Beep.

“Hey— Uh, I know we haven’t spoken in a while but— Can you please call me back?”

Beep.

“Seungkwan. Look. I— I know I suck, but can you, please, just call me back?”

Beep.

“Hey, It’s me again… I haven’t heard anything from you… Is everything OK? Please, call me.”

Beep.

“Look— I know it was wrong of me to give you the cold shoulder, but this is serious, I mean it— You need to call me back.

Beep.

“I’m sorry— Look, I— Can you please, just call me? I really need to talk to you.”

Fresh-faced and well-groomed, Seungkwan exhales wealth as he trudges through the crowded streets he grew up in. A far-cry from his fresh-faced youth, he attracts curious look standing in an expensive, tailored suit draped over his slender figure, with matching accessories and a trusty pair of branded sunglasses.

Usually, he’d stop at his mum’s, bother his sisters and nephews for a bit, deliver gifts and stories of his big-city living. But today, your house is the first stop in his itinerary and, if everything goes right, it might just be the last for today.

Knocking on the door, he adjusts himself, fixing his blazer and hair. His heart pounds incessantly against his ribs and his clammy palms are wiped against his trousers in the hopes of lessening nervousness. In his breast pocket, there is a small velvet box that lays heavier than its real weight ever could.

The door swings open, prompting him to put on his nicest smile, only to be met with his second sister’s unsightly frown, she assesses his posture.

“Ah, you’re here,” She announces in a flat voice, no excitement whatsover. Usually, he would make hell over anything, but today, he has pressing matters at hand. He had mentioned in passing he would be flying home soon, but his sister’s presence in your home still remained unexplained — not that he cared, right now.

“Is— Is she here?” Gesturing inside, Seungkwan stumbles over his words. His sister nods and steps aside, allowing him to finally cross the threshold of your place, somewhere in the other room, he can hear your soft footsteps and clumsy banging of pots and pans; his heart races faster.

“Why are you here?” He finally asks,

Unbothered, she replies with a deep sigh, “So she wouldn’t run away before you got here.”

“Who’s at the door?”

It’s your voice he hears, always sweeter than he remembered. The moment it touches his ears, his throat closes up like it never has before. He stretches his neck and inhales all the courage he muster up.

“Someone you hate,” His sister jokes, immediately reaching for her bag and keys.

“What?” He can hear you question, pitter-patter of bare feet closer and closer. He almost turns around to stop his sister from leaving, suddenly overwhelmed with his nerves.

That is until he sees you.

“Seungkwan?” It comes out as a whisper, you doubt your own eyes but the name flows naturally past your tongue.

Seungkwan freezes in place, the bouquet in his hand — your favourite flowers, — slip from his grasp and meet an undeserving fate on the ground.

Had it been anyone else, the bump protruding against your loose tee would’ve remained unseen; uncared for. But Seungkwan knew your body inside and out, he knew every nook and cranny, every beauty spot and scar. Countless nights were spent ravishing your very essence over and over, learning and teaching you about yourself.

Okay, maybe you had gained a little weight, he wasn’t one to judge, not when you looked absolutely stunning — Though he did seem biased. But you cradled that bump with so much care, it couldn’t be anything else.

Eyes widened in sheer terror, you immediately remove your hands from your stomach, sending them flying behind your back in shame. But it’s too late.

He knows the truth.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” His sister announces much to your disdain. Before you can protest, she just grabs her things and leaves.

There’s silence.

Unnerving, immovable, silence that wraps its cold tendrils around your throat, squeezing tighter and tighter with every passing second.

Looking at his face resurfaces plenty emotions; rage, relief, hatred, confusion, but there is so much love still; you realise, that despite it all, there is still love. Seems you are really cursed to love him.

Seungkwan is similarly shell shocked, though for different reasons. Beautiful hands hanging by his side, those gorgeous lips you love so much are agape as he stares at you: betrayed.

“Are you…?”

The question trails off and it hangs awkwardly in the couple feet between you, every syllable stumbling to the ground. He doesn’t need to finish it, you both know what he’s talking about.

You nod.

“Is it—“ He gulps, swallowing down the excruciating thought that perhaps you had found someone else. “Is it mine?”

Offended, you scoff, holding back the rage that sits at your tongue. You nod.

You were pregnant with his child.

He almost lets out a sigh of relief, releasing a breath he never realised was held. And then his eyes glaze over with unshed tears: hurt.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It’s a broken up whisper, cradled in pain and betrayal and it disappears in the air, small and so, so tender.

For a split second, you feel guilty. Looking at his glossy eyes that shine so beautifully, you’re overcome with an overwhelming urge to comfort him. But you are met with the rest of your unaddressed emotions. The ungodly amount of rage you have been shoving down every time you think about him.

“Didn’t tell you?!” Your voice trembles as you raise your tone, finally pouring out everything, “Seungkwan, I fucking called you for a month— I messaged you, I called you— I did everything!” You take a step forward, fingers tightly woven into a fist, fingernails painfully digging into your palms, “You didn’t call me back. You never did! You threw me away.”

Your words are painful. Not to you as much as it is to him. You feel some relief, finally getting closure.

But Seungkwan is floored, every words hanging heavy on the pit of his stomach, coercing acid but never allowing themselves to be fully digested; no. They hang around past their welcome, scratching at his insides until they are a bright shade of inflamed red.

You think he threw you away. How could you think that? After you left just like that and never called ba— Oh.

It’s only then, realisation settles like a bucket of ice cold water poured over your back. Seungkwan runs his fingers over his face with a quiet whisper of “Shit…”

“Yeah. Shit.” You cross your arms over your chest, in the hopes of hiding your shaking hands.

“No— Look—, Do you remember my PR manager?”

Still somewhat angry, you side-eye him, “Yeah, she fucking hates me.”

“Turns out she hated me, too,” He says, taking a step to close the distance between you, “It’s a long story— I fired her and she retaliated, got rid of my phone, laptop, locked me out of my social media accounts, I just got access to my accounts this week, but my phone is gone.”

Your eyes soften with the soft threading of hope. You want to believe him, to know it wasn’t on purpose, to know you hadn’t been abandoned. A part of your wants to grasp at any explanation, just take it without questioning. Anything is better than being thrown aside.

But you have grown to realise over the years that although the pain is unbearable, tomorrow still comes.

You were owed an explanation. A true, believable reason for everything you went through after all the missed calls and radio-silence.

For once, you needed him to be there.

A year ago, you would’ve been content with your situationship, but now you’ve got someone else to care for. A little someone that will need stability.

“I begged you to call me. You never did.” Your voice is so broken by the pain, he wants to pick up the pieces and softly put them back together. There’s an emotion that hurts him more than your pain: Acceptance.

You would be okay with his absence.

Oh, he wouldn’t manage. The very thought of it drove him insane.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll do anything,” He brings his hands together, eyebrows furrowed together.

You just look at him, unsure how to proceed. How to process all the emotions that hadn’t even been acknowledged until a minute ago.

With a heavy sigh, you close your eyes. “Have you eaten?”

Seungkwan smiles, beautiful eyes bathed in hope, in adoration, “I haven’t.”

“I’ll fix you up something.”

It’s weird, sitting in your kitchen, awkwardly fidgeting with his suit while you bang pots and pans, heating up leftovers from lunch. His plan has gone to absolute shit and he’d just found out somewhat accidentally about his own future.

Seungkwan stands up in search of cutlery to set the table with, something to do with himself. He smiles at the fact that everything remains in the same place since last time he’d been here.

You turn off the knobs on your stove and turn around to find a silicone mat lest you burn your table; it was good, solid, oak and you took great care of it. Your cooking smells good, it always does.

You’re the first to sit down, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. He follows shortly after, making no ceremony of filling up his plate.

“When did you lose your phone?” You break the silence, chewing on your lower lip; Your eyes refuse to meet his.

Half-bite, he answers, “I think like a month after we saw each other?”

“Why didn’t you contact me before today?” Your voice cracks, you wish it hadn’t. You wish you had composure when standing before the man you love.

Seungkwan sighs, putting down his plate, debating on telling you the truth or white lies. The reason he avoided contact was simple; he wanted to be better, to be fully better, before seeing you again. No messes for you to clean, he wanted to be someone worthy.

“I— I wasn’t sure…” It’s a half-truth.

“Sure of what?” You finally look at him, trembling hands clasped together over your lap.

He dodges any eye contact, pulling at his eggs with the chopsticks. Seeing your expression would be enough to destroy any courage left, “What could I have said?” It’s the truth.

“Anything!” You raise your voice, slamming your hands against the table, which you immediately regret once the pain travels over your aching palms.

It’s enough to get a reaction out of him. His brows furrow, and with a scoff, he lets his chopsticks fall onto his plate, “What?! After you left like that? You didn’t even say goodbye— You just—“ He stops himself, gulping down any resentment.

You’re caught.

The subject you evaded like the devil from the cross comes back to bite.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” You look away, chest heaving under your nerves.

Seungkwan softens his voice, trying a different approach, “We have to talk about it.”

“I don’t want to!” He can see how much you’re shaking, clasping your hands together in the hopes he won’t notice. So he leaves the subject alone, despite its persistence on eating him up from the inside.

Suddenly taken by hunger, you huff, grabbing a bowl and stuffing your face.

Against his better judgement, he smiles, watching your cheeks round around your mouthful of food.

“What?” You ask accusingly.

“Nothing,” Seungkwan shakes his head with a soft smile plastered over his pretty lips. He clears his throat before asking. “When did you find out about it?”

It’s first time either of you acknowledge the situation since earlier.

“A month ago.”

He sighs. Trying his best to imagine how desperate and utterly abandoned you must’ve felt.

“Do you know what is it?”

You shrug, shaking your head

“Do you—“ He tries his best to gather words that will communicate his thoughts, “Do you want it?”

Your neck snaps toward him, cheeks round with food as you glare. “Stop saying ‘it’.”

“Sorry—“ He corrects himself, “Do you want the baby?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

It’s weird how relieved he feels, if anyone had asked him a week ago how he felt about becoming a father he’d say no. But it’s a tempting scenario. A luring future of white picket fence and a couple of kids who looked like you.

But terrifying all at the same time.

You chew on your lip, playing with the tablecloth, “Do— Do you?”

Seungkwan looks up from his plate, surprised.

Your eyes are so intent on him, his every expression. You hadn’t held much hope since the unanswered calls, but this sudden visit, the fact that for once, he is here. It toys with your emotions, dangles your every dream in front your very eyes.

“It’s your choice…” He whispers.

Not satisfied, you press further. “Do you want to be a father?”

It’s a slap to the face, a forceful acknowledgement of the situation and his own feelings toward it. Did he actually want this?

It was a known fact that more often than not, denying fatherhood came easy for men; Say you don’t want to be a part of it, sign away your rights and fuck off to live your life unbothered.

Despite the choice being there, Seungkwan couldn’t fathom even considering leaving everything behind. A whole life created between the two of you with the perfect mix of your features. The word ‘Fatherhood’ felt too heavy on his tongue.

“…Yes.” Seungkwan answers, surprising not only you but himself, as well. “Yes, I want to be a father and— I want to be a part of the baby’s life… Will you let me?”

But he wanted it all. Sleepless nights, stinky diapers, colic, teething. He wanted to be a part of this child’s life.

He anxiously awaits your response to his confession, watches how your eyes widen, glossy with the imminent threat of stubborn tears and how your lips wobble.

You smile, relived, nodding.

Since your failed attempts to communicate with Seungkwan, you had somewhat given up on having the father of your child be present; Especially with how avoidant of commitment he always presented himself to be.

Ever since he left for the big city, Seungkwan always brushed off relationships as flings, never lived in one place too long, failed to settle down anywhere. It’s hard, believing his words.

But you’re nothing if not a fool for him.

Seungkwan smiles. Standing up, letting the chair bounce with the sudden movement, he kneels on the tiled floor in front of you.

His hands, his long, slender fingers find your own, enveloping your palms in his unending warmth. His touch is so delicate, yet so comforting. You didn’t even realise just how much you’ve missed holding his stupid pretty hands.

Blame it on the hormones how you completely break down into an ugly, crying, mess and fold onto his shoulders.

Without a word, he comforts you with soft pats until your sobbing ceases into soft sighs. Though, his legs might give up any time now from kneeling on kitchen tile.

“Let’s get married,” He whispers and as soon as the words leave his lips, his heart skips the next couple of beats in anticipation.

“What?” Hoarsely, you sniffle, raising your head to face him.

“Let’s get married, move to Seoul… Let’s raise the baby together.” There’s a dumbfounded smile plaguing his face, he can only imagine how happy you will be to know that he’s finally ready to be in a true, loving relationship.

You furrow your eyebrows.

“No.”

You watch his smile crack and shatter, he watches you face for any sign of jest, hoping you’d break into a smile and say “just kidding”. But you don’t. And you seem just as confused as he is.

You said you loved him.

Had you feelings changed in the matter of the three months you hadn’t talked? Was he not good enough?

He couldn’t understand why would you refuse his proposal.

“What?” Finally, his knees give up on him, wobbling until he falls to his butt, sitting on the cool tiled floor, though it seems almost warm compared to the coldness that washes over the pit of his stomach. “Why not?”

Your eyes don’t meet him, you wipe your nose and face with the sleeve of your cardigan. “I— I don’t understand why— Why you’re asking me that—“ You stumble over your words.

“We’re having a baby! It’s the obvious next step!” Seungkwan exclaims, as a matter of fact.

“No?” You shrug, “I’m not marrying you because you knocked me up!”

“Why not?!”

“People should marry out of love!” You explain, “Not just have a shotgun wedding, it never works out—! I don’t wanna be the girl you married because of the birth control fail rate!”

“Don’t you love me?”

His voice is such a broken whisper, so quiet and soft, almost as if accidental.

Your eyes finally meet his and your throat hurts with weight of the three letter confession, but you gulp it down, hoping your stomach acid will dissolve your unrequited feelings.

“Not enough to put my child through a loveless marriage.”

He stands up on shaky legs, wiping his hands on his jeans. Eyes refusing to meet yours lest he shed a single tear.

No, he wouldn’t cry, not in front of you.

Wiping his hands across his face, he lets out a heavy sigh and the very sound of the aftermath of such a heated discussion is enough to bring you to tears. Part of him aches to comfort you, to wrap his arms around your body and nuzzle against your neck. His hands itch to reach and hold you until your tears are gone, to whisper sorry over and over, until you take him back. But his pride boils his blood hotter than any wish of affection could.

“I’ll be at my mum’s.”

It’s all he says before he leaves and once the front door slams shut with a deafening ‘Bang’, you crumble to the cold floor, quietly sobbing into your hands.

It’s well past midnight by the time Seungkwan hears a somewhat familiar ‘thud’ on his window pane. The moon stands proud in the darkened sky, illuminating his childhood bedroom. He crawls out of bed, already missing the warmth of his duvet, and approaches the source of the noise with some caution, expecting an animal.

But once he pulls up the frosty glass, he sees you standing on his backyard, rocking back and forth on your feet, a large jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

Once you spot him, you flash a wide smile, lifting the one hand that doesn’t hold a dangerously large rock to wave.

Confused at your reasoning to be here, Seungkwan gestures wildly at his non-existent wristwatch. You just flip him off with a roll of your eyes and gesture for him to meet you at the door.

He scrambles to find his coat and not wake up his mother, a flashback of his teenage years.

How many times did you throw rocks at his window in the middle of the night or vice-versa. He always complained about how you were such a ‘bad influence’ but never once refused to meet you past midnight. You’d sneak out and fool around while the Sun was still down. And he would quietly sneak back in just as the Sun started to peak from the horizon.

Once the front door is safely shut and he’s sure that his mother isn’t up from the ruckus. He immediately turns to you.

“What the hell are you thinking?! It’s freezing out here!” He whisper-yells, wrapping the spare coat around your shoulders and throwing the scarf onto your face.

It smells strongly of his cologne; You inhale, letting the scent surround your lungs and flow through your veins, fill your bloodstream with his essence.

“I’m really craving convenience store food,” You speak out so meekly, your eyes hazy with sleep and nose tingling in the cold night air. Any other strong words he had conjured walking downstairs die on his tongue at the sight of your soft smile.

“You’re paying,” It’s a truce.

You smile excitedly, adjusting the scarf around your neck.

That convenience store just a street down from his childhood home had been the set for many his teenage adventures. Every poorly kept wall and crack in the concrete held cherished memories of your youth. The food hadn’t changed in the decades passed, yet it still beat any three-star restaurant he made a show of dining in.

You fill the basket with junk food, happily swaying back and forth under the blinking fluorescents. Seungkwan scoffs at your happiness over instant-noodles.

He pays and you grab your things, finding a place to sit while he prepares the noodles.

You’re snacking on chips when he returns with the noodles, practically throwing them down on the counter before he blows at his fingertips. You giggle at his misfortune.

“Should we talk?” You ask, chowing down on your food, moaning at its divine taste.

Seungkwan tuts at your happiness. He’d taken you to expensive restaurants before, wined and dined you into five-star hotels. But somehow, these soggy noodles tasted better than anything else.

“It’s fine,” He says.

You hum.

He notices how you cradle your bump when you eat.

You did it earlier, too, when he was at your place.

“Is the baby happy?” He asks, eyes focused on his food.

You break into a wide smile, “Mhm, very happy.”

You’re unable to see his face, but you see his cheeks rounded into a gorgeous smile.

Suddenly, seeming to remember something, you hum. “I had to give you this,” You speak with your mouth full which causes Seungkwan to scowl with a disgusted face.

He watches you fumble with your jacket pocket until you pull out a crumbled, tiny, piece of paper. You hand it to him.

It’s a sonogram.

A blurry, black and white, mess of pixels that he can’t help but be weirdly attached to immediately.

There’s such a warm smile on your face when you lean onto his shoulder, pointing at the picture.

“Here’s the little feet… Here’s the head…”

Unknowingly, he reaches his pointer finger to touch that teeny tiny blurry head.

“It’s a shitty photo,” His voice cracks and he doesn’t hide it well.

You’re giggling, and it’s a comforting, lovely sound, “It’s not so bad.”

“Do you think they’ll look like me?” He asks in a quiet whisper filled with wonder.

“Oh, I hope not, the poor thing,” You tease, earning an annoyed hiss.

“They’d be lucky when the other option is looking like you,” Laughing at his quip, you lean over his shoulder, daydreaming about the looks of your baby.

Leaving the convenience store, you munch on a corn dog, swaying your hands in the breeze. The next stop comes naturally, the nearby playground where you spent most of your nightly escapades during your teenage years.

“What do you think it’s gonna be?” He asks, taking one of the unoccupied swings.

You follow suit, sitting on swing. “I don’t know,”with a shrug, you return his question, “What do you think?”

“I haven’t thought about it…”

Humming, you focus on your corndog. “I might find out next appointment, if the baby doesn’t decide to close their little legs.”

He perks up so adorably, “When is your next appointment?”

“Next week,” You reply and he quietly ponders just how will he manage to sneak in. “You’re gonna be there, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Seungkwan says nonchalantly, but hides a beaming smile behind his right hand.

There’s a couple minutes of silence, though you don’t feel compelled to speak. You just sit there, rocking back and forth and enjoying this peaceful moment.

“How far along are you?” It’s a shy question, one he thinks he should’ve known, as the father.

“Sixteen weeks,” it’s such an automatic answer you don’t even question it until you can hear his soft murmurs as he counts on his fingers just how many months that is.

“Four months?”

“Mhm,” You reply, taking the last bite of your snack.

“Shouldn’t you be… I don’t know, bigger?”

You laugh, “I just started showing last week.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean, you could feel my stomach was more rigid than flabby but at a glance no one could tell.”

“Does it feel hard?"

“A bit?” You stand up and walk to where he’s sitting, “Here, feel it.” Seungkwan puts his feet down, ceasing any movement from the swing and wraps his hands around your bump. It’s weird, having someone touch your stomach. In fact, aside from your doctor, he was the first to do so.

You watch him look at your belly like it were his everything; his caramel eyes hold so much adoration. There’s stubborn hope that burns in your heart that, maybe, if you have him by your side, everything will be okay.

On the day of your appointment, Seungkwan accompanies you to the clinic, rushed whispers and fake stories told to his mother about his whereabouts. If it were up to him, he’d announce it to the world but you still feared that his fear of commitment would rear its ugly head and you would end up alone once again.

You’d messaged the receptionist, asking for some discretion during your appointment, however, you did notice some whispering coming from the nurses about TV comedian Boo Seungkwan’s appearance at an OB-GYN clinic.

He is annoyingly lovely, reassuring you over and over that it’s okay, he’s told his manager about it and things will be handled. Which in hindsight is somewhat terrifying that his manager knows about your pregnancy before the baby’s own grandparents.

Called into the office and free from the judgement-heavy waiting room, you rush inside, shedding your cardigan and laying on the bed. You’re practically a pro at this while Seungkwan struggles with the best ways how to hold your purse and coat.

He even looks surprised at how brazenly you unbutton your trousers and pull them out of the way.

Your doctor, a lovely middle-aged lady and mother of one of your students, is very glad to see you and quite puzzled at Seungkwan’s presence. She, however, is more than willing to explain the process and answer his every question, no matter how stupid or how many times he’s asked it in the past half hour.

“Everything alright?” She asks, spreading the cold gel along your skin. You never did get used to that goopy, gross feeling.

You nod and she turns on the large monitor sitting above the bed. Seungkwan stands almost a foot away from the bed, clinging to your belongings, sneakily rearing his head toward the monitor.

“This is the head,” She announces, holding the image still as she takes a screenshot for later. “Development is looking nice, mum.” She smiles before correcting herself, “…And dad.”

You giggle at how weird it sounds to be referred to as a parent just yet.

It’s not long before the room is filled with that muffled thump-thump sound you’d recorded and played over and over the past couple of months.

Seungkwan worriedly looks at you.

You smile at his dumbfounded, worried expression.

“That’s their heartbeat,” She tells Seungkwan, still enjoying the amazement of first-time parents even after so many years.

“Come closer,” You urge.

And he does so, standing by your side and staring up at that big monitor, watching the blurry grey blob move around. That muffled, almost wet sounding constant thump seems to make his own heart pound faster.

Seungkwan had somewhat come to term about being a parent; keyword being somewhat. It’s something to be told about it, even seeing the pregnancy tests you held onto as a keepsake. But hearing this baby’s beating heart, seeing them move around in that screen, it felt so tangible.

And a lot scarier, too.

“Heartbeat is nice and steady,” You smile at her announcement.

You glance at Seungkwan, who promptly hides his face, shaking away the stubborn tears that threaten to be shed. Fuck these hormones, they’re the ones to blame at how emotional that scene made you.

“Seems like baby is cooperating today,” The doctor comments and you laugh, “Wanna find out the gender?”

Biting at your lips, you glance at Seungkwan. It’s the first time you’ve included him during this visit. And it’s his first time giving his opinion on such an important matter.

“Do you want to?” He returns the question.

“Your sister said I should have a party,” You grimace thinking about parading around and having people all over you.

He shrugs, “We could… But do you want to?”

“I don’t know?!”

“We can tell a trusted family member or we can wait until you are ready to find out, it will be on your chart, so when you’re ready, just give us a call.” The doctor explains, hoping it will make your choice easier.

Once again, you glance at him.

“It’s your choice,” He says.

“But what do you want?”

He thinks. “It’d be nice to have a get-together with the family, we can have a barbecue, nothing too fancy.”

When he put it like that, it sounded so tempting but maybe you were just hungry.

“I’d like to have a family member know, please,” You tell the doctor.

She smiles, “Alright, I can give you an envelope with the results, is that okay?”

You nod.

The rest of the appointment goes smoothly. Your stomach is growling so loudly you don’t even bother asking Seungkwan if he wants a ride home, you just drag him to your car and drive off to the nearest restaurant. Not that he has any complaints — He’s worked quite the appetite and many questions need answers.

You’re seated rather quickly and given menus.

“What do you want to eat? My treat,” It’s a sort of apology for dragging him out here.

Seungkwan looks at the menu, “I think I’ll take the carbonara,” He hums, “Wait, do you have any food that will make you throw up?”

“Huh?” You raise an eyebrow.

“In the movies you know someone is pregnant because they run out of the room to throw up.”

Oh, he’s 100% serious about this and you push down the part of you that finds it adorable.

You laugh, “No, I don’t. That’s usually on the first trimester… I actually didn’t get very nauseous, just very hungry.”

He hums in understatement. “Are you sure that was the baby and not just you?”

You ball up a napkin and throw at him.

Once the order is placed, the waiter leaves and you’re both left at the booth flipping through your respective phones.

“Do you think your sister can help us with the gender reveal?” You ask, finally putting your phone down.

“Yeah,” He nods, “When are you thinking?”

“I don’t know… I’ll start really showing soon, I want the cat out of the bag.”

The waiter returns with your drinks.

“Have you told your mum?” You ask, thinking that it should be okay. It’s only his family, they should know.

Seungkwan smiles. “Not yet…”

“She can’t find out at the party. You need to tell her beforehand.”

“I got it.”

“That reminds me, my family kind of doesn’t know you’re a part of it now…” You approach the subject quietly. “They may or may not hate your guts for not being here for me.”

He stares at you, dumbfounded until he breaks out into laughter.

“Goddammit.”

“What?! It’s not my fault!” You defend yourself, using the straw to toy with the floating ice cubes swimming in your orange juice.

“You could’ve told them!”

With a sigh, you admit defeat. “I’ll tell my family when you tell your mum.”

He’s fully ready to counterattack your jabs but is interrupted by the food, much to your pleasure.

You practically devour your food and leave no room for dessert, instead opting to buy something sweet after you’ve digested your lunch – you found your baby had a sweet tooth and you always craved a little sugary treat. You pay for the food and Seungkwan drives you home to plan a party.

Seungkwan’s sisters had been a Godsend. They helped with every step of the way and planned the entire gender reveal party — Which wasn’t as much of a party as it was a family barbecue.

All you needed to do was just show up and cut up the cake to reveal the gender of your baby.

You just started to really show, a protruding round little bump that poked its way through your every clothing, no matter how baggy. Seungkwan was the first to point out just how evident it became.

The guests wore a mix of pink and blue. You wearing blue yourself, a very strong believer that your midnight kicker is a little boy.

Meanwhile, the baby’s father completely disagrees, sporting his baby pink button-up.

Seungkwan hovers around you the whole day, a pleasant surprise. You’d been nervous about putting the news out there. Despite it making its way through the grapevine and rumours floating through the spaces you frequented, no one was really sure. It was finally time to rip out the band-aid and make the news public.

Though you insisted he hung a bit farther lest people he realise about the paternity, he showed no intents of doing so. He waited on you hand and foot, bringing as many cupcakes as your little bean wished for. It seemed that the past weeks spent together had given Seungkwan an awakened sixth sense, he could always guess what your baby craved and was more than willing to fetch the item, no matter how gross.

When it was finally time to cut the cake and find out, he was insistent on being at your side, guiding your knife-cradling hand — Part of it just pushing it away from himself. You did warn him about family posting it online and the fact that this could blow out of proportion, but he just reassured you again and again.

Most of the family has their phones out, recording the moment with bated breath. You can barely breathe yourself.

The knife slides in, cutting through soft icing.

You close your eyes, relying completely on Seungkwan to guide you. The knife comes back up and goes back in for the second cut.

Seungkwan hands you the spatula and helps you lift the cake slice up and into the vision of everyone around.

The spectators burst into cheer.

You still haven’t got half a mind to look down.

“A baby girl,” He whispers into your ear and your eyes flash open.

Putting the cake down before you fling off the yard, you immediately throw yourself onto his arms, a choked sob escaping your lips, “We’re having a girl!”

He kisses your hair and hides his red face from the camera, not willing to have his teary-eyed expression so eternal.

Once the adrenaline slows down, you tear your way through the cake, sitting far away from the commotion. Seungkwan is at your side, an arm resting behind you.

“Congrats!”

The male voice almost isn’t enough to tear away the undivided attention you’ve been giving to your piece of cake, but Seungkwan’s bewildered expression piques your interest.

You look up from your plate.

And there he is; Kwon Soonyoung, a high-school buddy of yours. He was a rowdy kid, fun to party with but not much else. He had a hard time knowing when to quit. You wonder just why he had been invited until you remember his mum is your mum’s neighbour.

“Thanks,” You hum, still occupied with your food.

“A baby, huh?”

“Yup.”

“You never mentioned anything about getting married in the reunion… I was surprised,” He beats around the bush, raising a curious eyebrow. Seungkwan scoffs at his very obvious actions.

“I’m not married,” You reply, not really paying attention.

He lifts an eyebrow, “Must have your hands full, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Soonyoung clears his throat.

“How far along are you?”

“Twenty weeks.”

Seungkwan watches him count on his fingers. You poke Seungkwan and nudge at his arm with your empty plastic plate, which you had done about twice this afternoon. He sighs and rolls his eyes, but gets up regardless.

“Wow, that’s really far along…”

You nod, no longer having your food to be entertained with.

“C-Can I feel it?”

God, you hate that question. But at least he asked instead of just shoving his grimy hands on your stomach. He’s lucky you’re in a good mood, you’ve had old ladies patting your growing belly all day, what’s another one? It was a special occasion.

“Sure.”

Soonyoung is very amazed, he keeps ooh’in and aah’ing, rubbing your bump over the fabric of your shirt for a bit too long. Usually old ladies would just touch your belly, feel your baby kick and make a comment or two on how healthy your child will be.

Seems like your baby girl is having none of it, either since she has seized any and all movement since Soonyoung approached. You don’t hide your discomfort.

Seungkwan comes back, plate and drink in hand. He’s so weirded out by the scene, you barely hold back a laugh at the sight of his scrunched up face, Soonyoung still, doesn’t realise anything else.

“The fuck you doing?”

Soonyoung jumps at the harsh words. “I’m just feelin’ her, man.”

Seungkwan side-eyes your unimpressed expression. You let Soonyoung coo at your stomach for another five seconds before you’ve had enough, you nod at Seungkwan.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Seungkwan hisses, stomping his foot onto the soft grass as if to attack. Soonyoung jumps, immediately removing his hands from you and you finally breathe in relief, leaning back in your seat and watching Seungkwan deal expertly with him.

“What’s it to you, man?” Soonyoung exclaims, but it comes out very timid under Seungkwan’s displeased gaze.

“That’s my fucking daughter you’re infecting with your weird ass vibes. I don’t want her to be contaminated any further.”

Completely taken aback, Soonyoung can’t find any words to reply to the insult. It’s one thing to be rude, but to insult a man’s vibes is unbelievable. He looks at you with twinkling, hopeful little eyes, waiting for you to be the less offensive parent.

“You heard him. Shoo,” You wave your hand, happy to be rid of company.

You and Seungkwan break into a fit of laughter, watching the poor guy walk away.

When the party is over, you’re more relieved than anything. Seungkwan stays behind and helps you clean up the place. Which basically means he cleans up while you shower and slip into your comfiest clothes, not that you’re complaining.

You’re sitting at the sofa, hand resting on your stomach when he finally comes downstairs. Fresh from his shower, he smells like your bodywash.

He settles down next to you.

“Tired?” You ask.

He hums.

“How’s my babygirl?” He whispers, leaning over to talk to your belly. You don’t fight the giddy smile that takes over. It had been a couple of weeks since Seungkwan started talking to your baby — The doctor recommended he pick up on the habit so the baby could recognise his voice.

And he had no shame at all, making small talk with your unborn daughter any time he could, which was a complete 180 from you, who felt quite awkward at times.

“Kicking,” You sigh, “It’s way past her bedtime!”

He laughs.

“Give mummy a rest, will you?”

You laugh, running your hand over your clothed stomach in the hopes of calming your baby. She seemed to settle down once Seungkwan started talking though.

“Here,” He grabs a tiny fancy bag hidden behind his back.

You raise an eyebrow. “What’s this?” He just smiles.

Opening the bag, you find the tiniest little off-white onesie, with the words “Daddy’s little bean” embroidered on the front. You pick it up, finding it so small in your hands you can’t imagine a little human would fill it up soon.

“You know this is our daughter’s first onesie?” You smile, running your fingers over the embroidered text.

Seungkwan stares at you.

“What?” You ask, worried.

He smiles. “It’s the first time you’ve said ‘Our’.”

Your brows furrow and then you smile again, pressing your lips together to fight any stubborn emotions. “Shit,” You sniff. “Of course she’s ours, I didn’t make her by myself!”

Goddamn hormones got you again. And it seems they got Seungkwan as well.

You put on a random movie as background noise, not that either of you pay much attention to the plot. You’re just talking about the busy day you’ve had and the fact that finding out your precious baby is a girl. It just makes it all feel much realer.

“Ugh, Soonyoung. Who invited him?” Seungkwan moans with a roll of his eyes.

Shoving the last bit of your chocolates into your mouth, you laugh. “I think my mum did.”

“Guy can not get a hint to save his life!”

You’re laughing at his dramatic antics.

“And all that touching?” He shakes his head.

“You were so cool,” You bite your lip. “When you told him to get away from your daughter…”

“Huh?”

“I like it when you’re…” You shift in your seat, pressing your legs together, “…Possessive.”

Seungkwan malfunctions, gulping so loudly you can hear it. He looks at your bare legs pressed together, shakes his head and focuses back on your face.

“Yeah,” He clears his throat.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that halfway through your second trimester, you feel on fire. You’re constantly needy. It doesn’t help that Seungkwan has been so incredible and unbearably hot so often. “Uh-huh,” You hum, leaning forward until you can reach his arm to trace your fingers along his bicep.

The ghost of your touch is enough to send shivers up his spine. Seungkwan blinks once, twice and gulps.

“Don’t,” He pleads.

You sigh with a pout and Seungkwan thinks you look so adorable with that cute little pout in your pretty lips.

A shy smile blooms on your face and you lean over to rest your head on his shoulder. “It’s fine if you don’t want to,” You shrug. “But the doctor said it was fine.” Seungkwan had sat awkwardly looking around when the doctor had given you the green light for sexual activity as long as you took it slow.

“No— I want to! Trust me. I want to. But…” He looks over at your stomach. “You can sit on my face,” He offers but you sigh once again.

“I don’t wanna sit on your face, I wanna sit on your cock,” It’s such a genuine confession you don’t even realise the effect it has on him.

Seungkwan chokes.

He closes his eyes, needing a second after the sudden blood loss from his brain. “That’s— That’s something dangerous to say, y’know.”

“Good!” You cross your arms over your chest, “Now you know how I feel.”

Almost immediately, he coos reaching forward to grab at your waist. “Aw, do you feel that needy for my cock?”

“You suck.��

He smirks, “You wish.”

You groan in frustration burying your head in the crook of his neck, he runs his hands over your hair, the scent of your shampoo engulfs him.

“I want you, baby… So bad” he whispers, voice hoarse in the late night exhaustion.

“Take me, then.”

“Shit, you really know how to push my buttons,” He laughs, the vibrations of his chest travelling through your connected bodies. Your skin burns with desire and his lustful whispers might just melt you.You smile against his skin.

“Can I take you on that offer?”

“Holy fuck, yes.”

With all the care in the world, Seungkwan pushes you to lay back, one leg thrown over his shoulder and the other spread off the couch. He helps you place a cushion behind your back.

Your skin is searing against his cool lips, burning under his scattered butterfly kisses. His slender fingers toy with the band of your underwear, close but not nearly enough to satiate your lustful spell.

But alas, he relishes in your squirms and mewls of anticipation, drawing out each open mouth kiss to the inside of your thigh with devilish pleasure. With your underwear long forgotten, his fingers can graze along your bare hips and the hard bump along your stomach. Hands gripping your hips, he brings them toward his face, nose grazing along your pelvic bone, he inhales.

“Fuck… You smell fucking divine…”

Any possible reply you had flees from your mind the moment he licks a long stripe along your aching core. His hold keeps you in place, eager tongue diving into your heat to lap at your juices, humming at every nerve that jumps under his attention.

“Aren’t you sensitive?” He coos, a deep laugh reverberating from his chest and sending goosebumps through your entire body.

You try your best to disguise a scandalous moan with a fake cough. Though you suspect he knows.

“Sh–shut up!”

His left hand is cautiously placed over your belly, guaranteeing no touch will be too much while his right is running torturous circles along your outer labia. A teasing thumb draws figure eights on your clitoris, You let out a dreamy, muffled moan and it caresses his mind with lust, short-circuiting his brain for a brief second.

“You’re absolutely dripping, y’know?” He whispers against your throbbing heat, his tongue positively eager to dive in and taste you.

“Mhm,” You hum, “It’s your fault.”

A finger goes in easily, pushing and prodding at your gummy insides, stretching you out. “How is it my fault?”

You sigh, hand gripping onto a poor throw pillow, “Kept teasing me.”

Seungkwan smiles devilishly. Then adds a second finger, scissoring you open, relishing in the squelching sounds your arousal makes against his motions.

“Teasing you, yeah?”

“Y—Yeah!” You gulp,

“How come?” He eggs you on, teasingly slow on his ministrations.

“Kept walking around all— All dressed up. You looked so—“ It’s when he massages your most sensitive spot that you lose track of your thoughts.

“Go on, love.”

“Looked so… Handsome.”

“Did I, now?”

You nod.

He’s always one to love a compliment, especially in these circumstances when you sound so needy and sweet. “I need you to elaborate on that.”

“You looked really good with that button-up,” Seungkwan hums.

“And your hair styled like that— I wanted to jump you.” You confess With a third finger added, you feel the stretch from his gorgeous, slender fingers curling into your gummy walls. You don’t notice your hips grinding into his palm, but he does, of course.

Deciding it’s enough teasing for now, Seungkwan hums with a satisfied smirk, diving down to suckle on your clit.

Caught off-guard, you let out and an unfiltered curse followed by his name.

His fingers thrust in and out of you while tongue is dancing around your bundle of nerves. You’re squirming but his other hand holds you in place lest you interrupt him in his favourite activity.

Seungkwan is in fact, so lost in it, eyes closed with his eyelashes fluttering along his chubby cheeks, pleasured hums erupting from his throat that he doesn’t notice he’s been grinding against a poor cushion.

Your hand find his still damp hair, letting your fingers tangle into your beautiful locks, pulling at his scalp with every other move of his. He hisses at the sting from your desperation, but relishes in it.

With his finger curling against your most sensitive spot, he focus on driving you crazy with his tongue. Flattening it out against your clit, licking long stripes before running it over side to side just before he puckers his lips and sucks.

Your leg thrown over the couch falls onto his back, curling around his torso and pulling him closer, burying his face in your cunt as throw your head back and spill out desperate cries of his name.

He smiles against your throbbing clit, noticing just how much louder you’ve gotten.

“Close, baby?”

You nod with a whiny moan.

It’s more than enough to stimulate him back to his activities, keeping up the pace until you’re shaking even more than before. Your well-deserved orgasm hits your body with inexplicable waves of pleasure.

You whimper out his name in the sultriest of voices, enough to inebriate his mind with blind lust.

He doesn’t stop, not until you’ve come down from your brief euphoria and are whining from overstimulation, practically pushing him away — A far cry from your attempts of burying him into you just earlier.

Letting go of your tired muscles, you let out a tired sigh, throwing your head back. Post-orgasm bliss enveloping your body in its soft caresses. Seungkwan smiles, finally coming up to look at you.

You look positively satisfied, your skin glowing with a thin layer of sweat but most importantly — pleasure.

He leans forward, clean hand wiping away any stray hairs that are glued to your forehead. Seungkwan has such a soft smile on his swollen, reddened lips, his eyes kiss your face with adoring looks.

It’s almost easy to ignore the strained bulge poking at your stomach right now.

“You…” You point out and he looks somewhat caught.

“Sorry,” He clears his throat, pulling away.

You immediately grab his arm, “What? No— It’s not what I meant.”

His pretty eyes are locked on you. “I’ll take care of it.”

“No— Let me help you,” You bite at your lower lip, not ever willing to admit the idea of pleasuring Seungkwan aroused you to no end

“What? No, you’re—“

“I can still use my hands, you idiot.”

The prospect of a handjob — of any part of you touching his dick, really — is enough to distract him from any insults thrown his way. Hiding his excitement, Seungkwan sits back, legs spread open as he waits for you to settle to his side.

It doesn’t take much to pull his rigid cock from his precum stained sweats. It bobs up, standing red and angry against his stomach. He hisses at the sudden feeling of cold air caressing his searing skin.

Chewing on your lip, you lean forward, the brushing of your bare arms enough to make his cock twitch.

You lick your fingers and reach for him: up and down, up and down, running your thumb along his slit, smearing beads of rich precum along his length.

While his lips hold nothing but soft pleas and whines, you work your way over his length, reaching in between your legs to use your own come as lube — Oh, that drove him absolutely insane. The very thought of having your essence wrapped around his cock, shit, it’s still warm, too.

His head rests on your shoulder, every heavy breath tickles your skin. You bite your lower lip, containing your own moans at such a delicious sight. Seungkwan melts like putty in your touch.

Seungkwan whines into your neck, a loud gulp makes his adam’s apple bob up and down, but you’ve got your mind laser-focused on giving him just as great of an orgasm. Not that he’s too far from it, no. His fingers, which before were so teasing and precise, now grasp at your arm and clothes, fingers curling around fabric in desperation.

He squirms as you quicken your pace, legs flailing but never interrupting you. Adjusting yourself on the sofa, you lean forward until you are close enough to run your tongue along his length.

“Shit!” He jumps, arm moving to grab the back of the sofa.

You lips graze along his absurdly hot skin, leaving well placed kisses at the base; Not ceasing the motion of your hands, instead letting your other hand join in, massaging his balls.

“I’m close—“ He manages to spew out just before he finally cums.

Hot spurts of cum fly up his torso and land on his clean shirt, his legs shake under him and he can barely muster out a single moan. You keep up your strokes until he has nothing left to give.

Seungkwan leans back, arm thrown over his eyes, loud pants coming from his lips.

Teasingly, you kiss his tip before you tuck it back into his underwear.

You wish you had any energy left to tease him some more, but you want nothing more than a bath and your soft bed. So you lay back on the soft, eyelids weighing a ton.

He finally faces you, a tired smile on his lips as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest.

“Shower?”

You smile, “You read my mind.”

“I want to get a house.”

His announcement comes as a surprise. It had been a lazy weekend, you just started working on dinner and he offered some help.

“A house? Do you not like your fancy apartment anymore?” You pry curiously.

“I’m gonna keep my apartment, it’s just… I want to get a house here. For when I come visit you.”

“You can just stay with me,” You shrug, not seeing the big picture and he’s having a hard time getting out what he really wants to say.

“Yeah, but… I want our daughter to have a big house and a backyard where she can play— No offence to your place, but I’d like her to have more space.”

Stopping in your tracks, you hold back ‘Aw’ing at him. “That’s so sweet.” He smiles, relived. “But…”

Seungkwan half-panics, “But what?”

“I won’t lie… I have been thinking about moving…”

“To Seoul?” He inches closer.

You nod. “Travelling will be hard for you and… She’s gonna need her daddy.” There’s a soft smile playing in your lips, though Seungkwan is visibly emotional after your words. The stock you’d been carefully adding vegetables to has come to a boil, yet you don’t bother giving it any attention.

“A-Are you sure? It’s a big change.”

“My contract with the school is almost over and in a couple of months I won’t be able to work until the baby is big enough.”

“That’s true… But you love it here!”

“It’s not like I’ll never come back,” You wave off his concern, “I was thinking I could get a place just outside of the city.”

You had been thinking about it ever since Seungkwan came back and decided to be a part of your daughter’s life. Actually, you’d given it some thought when you found out you were pregnant; you loved your hometown but you wanted to give your child the best chance in life and moving into the big city meant better jobs for you and better education for your baby.

Having him in your child’s life meant that he’d be away for work most of the time and he seemed too excited for all of it, it’d break your heart to see him miss the most important milestones because of the distance.

Seungkwan bites back an excited smile, trying his best to act nonchalantly about it all. “You could move in with me while we look at houses.” He says quietly, side-eyeing for your reaction.

You scratch at your neck, unsure of how to react. “Kwannie, I wouldn’t be comfortable making you buy a whole house…”

“I promise it will be in our daughter’s name. We’ll find somewhere with a big backyard and maybe a pool,” He no longer hid his excitement. The whole situation had been gnawing away at him, too.

You don’t deny that it sounds amazing. “The pool needs to be fenced.”

“Of course.”

“It has to have a large kitchen,” You play along.

He smiles, “Consider it done.”

“Three bedrooms minimum.”

“Are you planning on having an office? Or—“ Seungkwan gulps, a sudden heat blooming in his cheeks, “You want another kid?”

You choke on your own saliva, staring at him. “A room for each of us!” Slightly embarrassed, he scratches at his neck. “That’s fine, too…”

Not that having two kids sounded bad. You were only thinking of your daughter, of course. You didn’t want her to be lonely growing up. That’s it. Nothing to do with how incredible of a father Seungkwan has shown himself to be and how much that has overthrown your brain.

“I’ll start looking,” Seungkwan says, reaching for his phone.

“Already?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I want us to have everything settled before she’s here.”

“Why the rush? We’ve got a couple of months before I give birth.”

“Once she’s born we won’t have time to do anything. And my apartment isn’t exactly child friendly…” Not just because he wants to move in with you, not at all.

“That’s true…” You bite at your lip, “Shit, closing on a house takes time, right? What if we don’t have enough time?” Suddenly, you’re very worried about the next couple of months.

“Leave it to me, I’ll make sure we find the perfect place,” He reassures you with a warm smile and you hate how it makes everything alright.

You throw your arms around his neck, excitedly jumping up and down. "Thank you, Kwannie, you’re the best,” Your words are saccharine sweet and Seungkwan finds himself to be overcome with arousal; which had become a common occurrence as of lately.

Not that he didn’t find you hot before, but it felt like everything was intensified a thousand fold. You were just so sweet with your protruding bump and neediness. Every time you needed something you came straight to him, even with the smallest of tasks like opening a jar of peanut butter.

Although he liked to pride himself in being free from toxic masculinity, Seungkwan was nothing if not affected by you making him feel like a big strong man.

You’d just start planning on the future nursery and he reassured you 100% that he could build it all himself with his own two hands — You were so smitten, you immediately jumped to smother his cheeks with kisses.

And he could feel your figure against his chest, how round you'd become and it drove him insane. You bat your eyelashes at him once with those pretty eyes and he's at your feet doing whatever you asked.

He once caught you rubbing body oil over your stomach, claiming it would prevent stretch marks. Though any and all words fell on deaf ears, he was completely enamoured with the sight before him. You, fresh off the shower, slight damp hair, a comfy nightgown, an arm holding your tits out of the way while the other ran along your skin.

“Let me do it,” The words were out before he could even think about it. Not that he disagreed with the horny bits of his brain, this was a great idea through and through.

You scoffed and then realised he meant it. “Oh? Okay…”

Seungkwan stood behind you, chest flush to you semi-bare back, his strong arms wrapped around your waist, slender fingers running along your skin. God, the slightest brush of his fingertips sent shivers down your spine.

You squirmed every time his hands wandered just far down enough to graze the bunched up fabric of your beige panties — Not your sexiest pair, you admitted and wished you’d put on something cuter.

His hands, his gorgeous hands, kneaded onto the abundant flesh of your belly, easily gliding all over but never where you need it the most. It’s only when you feel him poke at your back, that you realise this has affected him just as much.

With a mischievous smile, you shake your hips, hearing a quiet growl erupt from his chest.

“Stop— I won’t be able to control myself—“

“You don’t need to put it in—“ Your voice is a siren’s call, dripping in lust with your tempting offers, he feels as if he might drown in your sweet essence, though it would be a lovely way to go.

“Fuck— You’ll drive me crazy, y’know.” He grumbles but you hear him fight with his trousers and boxers.

With a couple of pumps over his length, Seungkwan holds your hips still. Feeding his dick inch by inch through your legs, your heavenly warmth surrounds every inch of his skin, sending his heartbeat into a lust-filled frenzy.

Your panties offer an unfamiliar texture, but your thighs, oh, your thighs; hot and juicy, they clamp around his crying dick and he feels your lovely skin all over his length. It’s dizzying, having his penis so close to your hole after so long.

Oh, how he wishes to take you apart around him and watch you come undone again and again. Hips desperately rutting into yours, you feel the hotness of his cock practically burning your skin in red hot lust. You drip and melt into his body, losing where he ends and you begin, you are a simple puzzle and he's the one piece you need to feel complete. Letting your own desire overcome every sense, you soak through the fabric of your panties, enough for him to feel it.

“Fuck—“ Seungkwan groans, hiding his reddened face on the crook of your neck, letting his hot breath tickle your skin. “You’re so— so wet, baby.”

You nod mindlessly, hands holding onto his arms for some stability. Those beautiful slender fingers of his caress your body all over, kneading the abundant flesh of your breasts, dipping into the plunge of your nightgown to find your eager nipples and you throw your head back, presenting yourself to his enjoyment. His tongue runs across the dip of your neck with a trail of searing kisses, nibbles and hickies.

“Who’s got you like this, huh?” His sinful whispers dissipate amongst the curves of your neck, raising goosebumps along its path.

“You.”

“Say my name, princess.”

“You. Seungkwan, you do—“

The way his name rolls off your tongue so naturally stirs in him something primal, every breathy syllable burnt into his brain. His name belonged to you and you only. For you to chant over and over, to call his name in a breathless prayer.

You’re clenching around nothing, arched onto his body, relying on his grip for support. His movements are broken and shaky, timed by quiet hisses and groans. You can feel his length, hot and throbbing and you've never craved him as badly. Desire honey thick, it drips through your body, leaving a hazy trail in your mind, clouding any coherent thought, leaving you pliant against his body.

The tip of his cock rubs against your clothed clit and you moan out his name, your legs have suddenly given under the abrupt wave of pleasure that bleeds through your every inch. He holds you still, hips thrusting back and forth chasing his own pleasure until he finds it. White ropes splashing all over the floor and your thighs.

Seungkwan kisses your neck and shoulder, humming praises that clear the fog of your post-orgasmic-bliss brain. His hands caress you all over, your stomach, your arms. He tells you you’re beautiful, amazing, incredible and all the adjectives he can mutter.

He worships you as his own, honeyed words melting into the cracks of your heart.

“You’re lucky I’m so tired,” You huff out, leaning against him, relishing in the way it feels to be held.

He lets out a soft laugh, “Why is that?”

“If I weren’t dead tired, I would suck you dry and leave your balls emptier than they’ve ever been.”

You feel him harden between your legs. “Shit.”

It’s your turn to laugh.

Far from you hitting him with a classic “What are we?”, especially since you were the one to reject his rushed marriage proposal in the first place. But the way he looks at you with so much love is driving you insane.

And… You crave him.

Like nothing before.

His very presence enchants you beyond salvation, you’re enticed by his every move, his voice and even the scent that lingers after he leaves.

You went shopping for a dress over the weekend, realising everything you had no longer fits right and Seokmin’s sister's wedding was just around the corner. Seungkwan, of course, tagged along, flashing his black card at every chance possible.

Every dress you tried on, he looked at you with such a hunger in his eyes, your panties were ruined from the very beginning.

Leaving the store with your purchase, you passed by a baby store and of course, you had to go in. The worker confused you for a married couple and Seungkwan didn’t deny it, he just kept inquiring about the different prams, very adamant about the safety of your daughter; Something that had turned into quite the turn on.

Squeezing into a dress and heels and doing heavy makeup on a Saturday hadn’t been in your schedule for years. But the event of a wedding had you rushing to get ready in time. You were very visibly pregnant by now, despite it not being that long since you’d started really showing. Part of you dreads meeting all the familiar faces and having to hear all of their gossip while the other just wants to get it all over with.

Seungkwan had elected to get ready at your place — He was practically glued to your side all the time. You couldn’t even say he wouldn’t accompany you to the bathroom because he almost certainly had.

He, of course, flaunts his mile-long line of luxury fitted suits to be chosen from, standing at the mirror for ages just to pick out a colour to truly highlight his complexion. Meanwhile, you’ve been ready for at least half an hour.

“I like the black,” You suggest.

“It’s too obvious,” He whines.

“How about beige?”

He ponders with a low hum.

“It’s classy!” You add.

“You convinced me,” He smiles, making work of removing his bathrobe.

The navy microfiber slips off his smooth skin all too easy, revealing his enticingly gorgeous figure — He always had an elegant aura, with slender limbs and and air about him that just craved success. But way past the puberty woes and knocking on the door of his early 30s, Seungkwan had filled up into a tempting heartthrob.

His biceps were much bigger and well-defined, even under your dim bedroom lighting and his chest, good heavens. His pecs pushed against every article of clothing that dared cover them, making their existence hard to ignore.

A sigh leaves your painted lips.

Seungkwan’s eyes meet yours through the mirror’s reflection, watching you sitting at the edge of your unmade bed. His gaze is dark and defiant, a prideful smirk clings to his pretty lips under the awareness of your drooling.

You can’t say watching his slowly button up the tightest dress shirt was doing very good for your crazy hormones. His damp hair draping over his forehead, down to his sharp eyebrows and long eyelashes. The sight of his gorgeous hands deftly making work of the buttons is just hypnotic.

The both of you had yet to have sex — the penetrative kind. Every other type had been used and abused and yet, you still craved for much more. And he couldn’t claim to be blissfully unaware of your lustful spell, either. Oh, how he loved to tease you at every waking chance he had.

While you’re very aware of the effect he has on your body, fanning your sizzling face with your hands, Seungkwan picks up the matching trousers, slipping them past his long legs and above the roundness of his boxer-clad ass, you can clearly see it bounce when he does a little jump to help the fitting of his slacks.

Alluring fingers playing with the zipper and buttons, he lets his eyes travel to meet your figure once again.

Your eyes are arrayed in fervent desire, the type that simmers under low heat, quietly bubbling and changing form, caramelising under constant showers of passion, tasting sweeter by the minute. Oh, how he adored you.

“You ready?”

You snap out of it, jumping in your seat with a quiet “Mhm?” Seungkwan offers you a toothy grin, “Are you ready?” He asks once again, reaching for the blazer that would finish his masterpiece.

Nodding, you push yourself off the bed. “Yeah, just need my shoes and I’m ready.”

Though Seungkwan protested your choice of footwear, claiming they were far too dangerous, you still went ahead and wore your chunky kitten heels, they just made your legs look too good not to wear.

Seungkwan had even rented a car for the whole ordeal; a flashy sports car with a sleek design and too-sharp edges. But he was living for the whole ordeal of dressing up for an event.

While you quietly watch him drive, there's something on the back of your mind. You hadn't discussed your relationship, ever. Usually, – before the baby, that is –, you would keep to yourself when in public, however, you are unsure if your unspoken agreement still stands. The two of you rarely ever arrived at events together, hell, there's plenty you've done together in the past month that you'd only dreamed of before.

And while you're nibbling on your manicured nails, Seungkwan sees the situation quite a lot clearer than you do. When he pulls into the parking lot for the fancy event hall, he exits the car in a haste and he's at your feet just before you manage to open your own door.

You give him a surprised smile, placing your hand in his and accepting his help to exit the car.

However, he doesn't let go once you're out of the vehicle and are finished smoothing your dress, his hand still holds yours while he hands the key to the valet.

Biting at your lip, you can't help the giddy butterflies that make themselves at home in your stomach.

You are both greeted by the bride and groom's family, putting on a nice smile and giving them all the compliments in the world.

It wasn't uncommon for Seungkwan to turn heads, he loved that aspect of his live in the spotlight, that doesn't mean you had as easy of a time seeing every single guest pay attention to you, letting their whispers fill the place.

Noticing your nervousness, Seungkwan gives your hand a light squeeze.

Before either of you can say anything, you're interrupted by the world's brightest smiler. The bride's very proud little brother is approaching you.

"Oh, you guys! I'm so excited you made it!"

"Don't you clean up nice, mister?!" You tease him, and he smooths down the jacket of his suit with a smile.

"You guys look great as well!" His eyes trail down to where your hands are joined but he doesn't say anything. "Have you already taken your pictures with Sohee?"

"We just got here," Seungkwan explains.

"Well, let's go, then."

He doesn't leave any room to protest, guiding the both of you through the hall and down into the waiting room. Seungkwan is surprisingly not as nervous as you expected him to be, which is somehow, more worrying.

First thing you're met with is the horde of bridesmaids with champagne flutes and loud cackling as they gossip about the guests. With Seokmin's presence, you easily dodge their gaggle.

Sohee is sitting on the wide sofa, surrounded by beautiful flowers as she takes pictures with a group of people.

"Her dress looks insanely expensive," you quietly comment, to which Seungkwan hums in agreement.

When the people leave, Seokmin talks to the photographer for a second.

"Sir, you sit to her left and you to her right, please," The photographer announces.

You move to sit on the couch, though Seungkwan never lets go of your hand, assisting you until you're sat. Only, does he move to his designated spot.

"You look beautiful, Sohee" You tell the bride briefly, but she doesn't quite pay attention. Her eyes are scanning Seungkwan's figure.

"Look here, please," The photographer raises their hand and Sohee finally faces the camera.

The photograph is taken in a flash.

Barely managing to motion standing up, you're immediately helped by Seungkwan's unfairly soft hands.

"Are you in town for long?" Sohee asks suddenly, sending both of your's attention her way.

You look at Seungkwan, waiting for his reply.

He nods, "Yeah."

Looking like she expects more, Sohee just licks her lips and nods, "Do you think–"

She's interrupted by the large group of middle-aged ladies that pour into the room with their proud smiles and compliments. Seokmin immediately greets them, gesturing for them to sit by the gorgeous bride-to-be.

"Thanks for the invite," You bid your goodbyes, leaving the waiting room.

You and Seungkwan gossip about the place and the seemingly large budget while you wait for the ceremony to begin.

The ceremony is just as any other wedding you've ever attended; only a thousand times more extravagant. Not that you expected anything but. It's beautiful, the bride and groom seem to have practiced the whole thing way too many times.

Everyone stands up to watch the bride throw the bouquet, you wonder who did she pick to receive it.

As you clap your hands, tip-toeing to watch just who is going to be Sohee's successor in the marriage market, you don't notice the flying bundle of flowers coming directly toward your face.

You're lucky Seungkwan still has his reflexes, he expertly catches the bouquet before you can even acknowledge its very presence.

His pretty eyes widen in panic, looking at the very pretty flowers in his hand.

It doesn't take him too long to come to his senses and kindly pass the bouquet off to Sohee's chosen friend.

You laugh at the situation.

"Congrats," You tease, "I guess you're getting married first," nudging his shoulder, you watch him roll his eyes.

"I'm not marrying anyone in the next six months unless you're up for it."

It's such a silly, passing comment. He doesn't even pay attention to what he says, but you feel your stubborn stomach butterflies jump circles in the lining of your oesophagus.

The post-ceremony lunch is amazing and you, of course, abstain from any celebratory drinks. Seungkwan drinks double in your honour, despite your objections. At some point in the festiveness, your old classmates find you and you enjoy the nostalgic banter. Although you were questioned about your very visible pregnancy, it went much better than any of your expectations. And it seems most linked Seungkwan's sudden hovering and overprotection to his contribution to your current state.

"My feet are killing me," You groan, settling into a bench.

"I told you not to wear heels," Seungkwan says.

You roll your eyes, "I know… But they make my legs look great."

Seokmin laughs, "It's fine, half of the bridesmaids are barefoot by now."

"You make a great point," You point at Seokmin, toeing off your heels. "I wish I had brought some backups, though…"

"That's why I brought you some flats, they're in the car," Seungkwan has this proud puppy smile, knowing he did something amazing and awaiting the praise.

You groan in happiness, "I could seriously get up and kiss you, but my feet are killing me," You confess.

Seungkwan laughs, "I'll get them, don't move."

"No problem, I'll ask someone in the staff to bring it to you," Seokmin waves it off.

"Oh, please, it's just a pair of shoes. "Exactly," He responds, leaving to wave at a staff member.

Watching you fidget, Seungkwan sees you're shoving your feet back into your heels.

"Why are you putting your shoes back on?"

"I need to pee, I think."

"You think?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sorry it's hard to know exactly how full my bladder is when your daughter is constantly kicking it."

"She's a good girl."

You huff, "I'm going to pee," You announce, raising your hand when he motions to stand up," Don't follow me to the bathroom, it's weird."

Seungkwan wants to protest, but you shoot him a pointed glare.

It takes maybe thirty seconds of him being unattended for Sohee to spot from the other side of the hall, she gathers the many layers of her dress and walks up to him, sporting a bright smile.

"Seungkwan! So good to see you!"

He nods, "Thanks for the invite and congratulations." It's a sincere wish.

"Well, I just had to invite my biggest admirer, hadn't I?" She jokes, lightly tapping at his shoulder, Seungkwan just sort of shrugs. Licking her lips awkwardly, Sohee continues, " You know… I remember when you were younger, you were just crazy about me!" She laughs.

Wishing you'd hurry up, he flashes her a hesitant smile.

He didn't want anything to do with Sohee, not now, not ever.

It was the type of realisation he thought would hurt. He spent so long reaching for the unattainable, trying to patch up wounds from the past with cold revenge that at some point those wounds started to quietly heal.

He was more than content with his career, he accomplished so much in his short years on TV using only his overflowing charisma – and despite any past scandals, had talks of producing and presenting other shows. Seungkwan was loved by the public, adored by brands and welcomed with open arms just about anywhere. He had proven to himself and everyoned that ever dared doubt his star potential that he was just that; a star, destined to be admired.

But most importantly, he had his mind filled with wonder over how the future would turn out.

Every night, as he laid by your side and watched you drift off to sleep, Seungkwan would caress your stomach and imagine what his daughter will look like. He wondered just who she would take after in appearance and if her personality would match her lookalike. He also worried if he was fit to be a parent at all.

And then you would stir in your sleep, and he would feel those tiny but very powerful kicks, then everything feels alright. He's right where he belongs; right by his girls.

His wholesome epiphany doesn't mean Sohee will take a fucking hint. She keeps initiating contact, flashing that fake smile of hers.

"I tried to be an actress, y'know," It's a very obvious hint at her hidden agenda, he realises, though he hasn't got half a mind to lose her. "Couldn't make it because of a bitch that sabotaged me…" She scoffs, painted lips curling into a frown, "But I was good, really good! I would've made it if it weren't for what happened!"

Seungkwan nods politely, wishing he had a drink in his hand.

"You reckon I would've made it?"

"Mhm?"

"As an actress, you think I would make it big?" She smiles expectedly.

"Sure," He shrugs and it's clearly not enough.

"Oh, please. You can be honest!" She nudges at his shoulders, her hands lingering far too long, rubbing across his chest.

He licks at his lips, openly uncomfortable. "We can't know for sure."

"I mean, look at me! I've got a face for drama, " She poses, "I'm unforgettable, y'know. Well, I'm sure you know," Sohee laughs, "you're probably still hung up on me!" she bites at her lip, looking him up and down.

That strikes a bit of a nerve.

"No– I–"

"It's fine! I know… And…" She takes a step closer, "I'm not opposed to it," Her manicured finger draws circles on his chest, "I'm open if you wanna play," She winks.

Seungkwan takes a step back.

"I just think… it takes more than an average face to make it into the industry… And into my bed."

Oh, how furious she is.

It's such a sudden shift in her mood, he almost flinches. Can't say it wasn't satisfying as hell getting to say that after so many years.

"What?! Average?! Average?! Oh, fuck you! Just because I rejected you in high school, doesn't mean you should hold a grudge!"

Seungkwan looks around at the people that suddenly are very interested in their conversation.

"I'll tell you what, I don't need your opinion! Every day, I get stopped by men dying to get with me and you know what–"

It seems you heard his silent but very desperate prayers, appearing just when he needed you the most.

"What's up?" You ask, quite confused.

"What is up, is that this cunt holds a grudge because I rejected him in high school," Sohee crosses her arms childishly.

"That's not–" Seungkwan tries to explain it to you, but you know Sohee well enough to predict her temper.

"Come on, it's your wedding day, why do you care what he thinks, just relax," You argument, hoping it's enough to convince her.

"You're right, it is my wedding day and I deserve an apology."

"A what now?"

"An apology, I deserve one or you're kicked out."

"Oh, fuck off!" You yell, turning on your heels and dragging Seungkwan with you.

You hope you're far away enough she won't give chase. Or security, maybe.

Too bad for you she immediately signals for security and you hurry your step.

Bumping into Seokmin on the way, you steal your flats from his hands.

"You guys, what's the hurry?" He laughs.

"Thank you, Seokmin, great party!" You yell, shrugging off your heels and toeing into the flats as fast as you can.

Still confused, he pries in further, "What? Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, long story, your sister kicked us out."

"What?!"

Seungkwan crouches to pick up your discarded shoes, "Great party, though."

"Yeah, I loved seeing you and the kids, we need to schedule a reunion sometime," You add.

"Are you done?" Seungkwan asks.

"Yeah," You nod.

"Let's go," He grabs your hand.

"Bye, Seokmin!"

"Bye-bye," You parrot.

And the two of you bolt down the hall toward the parking lot.

You're laughing your heads off by the time the valet brings around the rental, recalling just how crazy the past five minutes have been.

Seungkwan opens the door for you after leaving the valet a very generous tip.

"What did she want?" Your curiosity gets the best of you.

"Oh, fucking hell," He rolls his eyes, pulling out of the event hall. "You won't believe it."

"What?" You're already laughing at the idea.

"She kept hitting on me."

"What?" No longer laughing, you adjust yourself in your seat, "And what did tell her?"

"I said she needs more than an average face to make it into my bed."

You laugh awkwardly, not sure how to reply.

"Does that mean you're finally over her… Or… Do you still like Sohee?"

"Are you kidding me?!" He laughs at the absurdity of your suggestion. "I mean, I guess I knew it in my heart ages ago, but I sort of realised it today… I got over her a long time ago."

"You mean it?"

"Oh, getting kicked out of her wedding didn't prove it?"

You smile, "I guess it does prove you don't want to fuck her."

"You couldn't pay me to!"

Barely containing your foolish smile, you play with the hem of your dress.

"Besides," Seungkwan opens a mischievous smile, "I've got my eyes on the world's hottest MILF,"

You groan, hitting at his shoulder between your fits of laughter, "Stop it!"

Arriving at your place, you couldn't wait to finally get out of your party outfit and into your comfy pajamas. Toeing off your shoes halfway through your hallway, you pit-patter into your dimly lit bedroom with Seungkwan as your shadow.

"Can you help me?" Your plea is sleepy and sweet, carrying him to you before he can even process your words.

You're standing barefoot, dress clinging onto your shoulder, zipper halfway down. Seungkwan reaches for it, feeling the sudden spark of your bare skin grazing along his fingers. Once the zipper is all the way down, you sigh in relief and shrug the dress off. He feels like a puberty stricken teenager, being overcome with lust with a simple glance of your hyptonitisng body.

Looking back, you watch him stare at you, completely frozen.

"What?"

He doesn't respond.

"Do you want help, too?" You lean forward with a tease.

Fingers wrapping around his expensive tie, you pull him just close enough until his breath caresses your lips. Watching through half-lidded eyes, you glance at his pouty lips, overcome with the urge to take them.

Reading your mind, Seungkwan cups your burning hot cheeks, crashing his lips against yours in a desperate kiss.

It's disgustingly messy with clashing teeth and breathless moans devoured alive with insatiable hunger. You're melting into his arms, clumsy synchronised steps toward the bed, almost tripping on your discarded dress.

Your fall into the bed isn't enough to part your frantic kiss, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him impossibly close, feeling the fabric of his suit grazing against your naked body, every wrinkle and fold a torturous experience.

Seungkwan shrugs off his blazer, throwing it somewhere in the room. He pulls at his tie with one arm and had your eyes been open, they'd be glued to the throbbing veins that decorate his skin.

"Keep–" You breathe out, "Keep it on–"

His smile is almost devilish. "Fuck me, aren't you naughty?"

You nod thoughtlessly, "I'm fuckin' crazy about you in that suit…" "Yeah?" Egging you on, he can barely contain his own lust at your words. The mere thought that you had been containing yourself all day, that he drove you just as crazy.

"Mmh," You kiss him, "I was thinking about you all day,"

"Fuck."

His hands are on your body, grabbing, kneading at your burning skin, touching every inch he pour his greedy touch on. Although he wants to kiss and your worship you, he dreads the thought of leaving your lips. Oh, such a tough choice.

Expertly, he undoes your bra, giving into your relief and lust at once. His hands find your breasts, massaging, flicking at your sensitive nipples.

Every single one of your quiet moans are muffled with his eager kisses.

You're pulling him closer and closer, toying with his dress shirt, pulling at each button. Torturously slow, you undo every button, feeling every inch of his bare skin on yours.

Pretty fingers grazing along the bulge that strains his slacks, you bat your eyelashes with a pout and he near melts. A mischievous smile plays at your lips as you blindly navigate his belt and zipper, finding your way into his pants.

He pulsates in your hands, hot and heavy and burning in desire.

You run a single finger along his length and it's enough to have him stuttering.

"I need to be in you, baby–"

You're drunk with lust at this point, the very thought of having him inside you is clouding your judgement beyond recognition. You can only nod fervoursly, parting your legs to receive him.

He leans back on his heels, staring at you, glossy eyes and parted lips, practically begging for him. He takes a long, hard stare at your round figure, the size of your stomach, the very thought that it was his seed that made you like this driving him insane with the primal sense of possession.

"You drive me crazy, y'know," He whispers against your kiss-swollen lips and you feel every vibration of his lust ridden whisper.

Maybe it's the atmosphere or the abstinence that's making you drunk on him. But you feel every inch of his body, every single touch of his feels a thousand times. His body burns against yours, fastened hearts irregularly dancing around each other's beats.

Having him inside you after so long feels like nothing ever before. You're getting split on his cock, mouth in a constant 'O'. He can feel every agonising inch of your wall clinging and squeezing around him.

Seungkwan holds himself back, willing his mind to think completely natural thoughts lest he come too fast. You're so warm, wrapping tightly around his length, pulsating and eager. What could a man do besides keep you filled up?

He drinks your every broken moan, every ragged breath resembling his name, relishing in the effect he has on you.

With sluggish thrusts, Seungkwan finally moves. Bottoming out feels heavenly, you can barely think. How you're split open deliciously on his length, you feel him throb inside you, dragging out of your walls before slamming back in.

"Fuck– You're choking me, baby–" You hum, not really focusing on anything other than the way he feels.

Fastening his pace, he is entranced with how your body looks under him.

Your eyes are tightly closed, limbs tangled around. Your entire body is jiggling with every thrust of his, following his every move. Fuck. He buries his head in the dip of your neck, biting at your skin to quiet himself, hot breath tickling your sensitive skin.

He has to will himself into a slower tempo lest he finish too fast, no, he wishes to drag this out impossibly long. To savour every millisecond, burn it in his brain until he can see and think of nothing but the way you come apart under him, the way you melt and fit around his body.

Your entire body sizzles with unadulterated lust.

"I'm– I'm close," You warn.

He hums, interrupted by a groan.

"Cum for me, princess, come on–"

You nod, voice crescendo into a string of disconnected words, chanting his name over and over. The sight of your pretty face overtaken by pleasure is enough to send him into his own climax, spilling into you with a final thrust.

Careful not to crush you, Seungkwan collapses to your side, reaching for your hand to intertwine your fingers together. He brings your hand to his lips, placing a loving kiss.

You snuggle into his chest.

"Can't believe I just fucked a MILF."

You laugh in desbelief.

"What the fuck!"

Moving had always proven to be a sisyphean task, it was no different when moving in with the father of your baby with whom you had an unlabeled very complicated relationship. At least he was more than willing to actually pay for a moving company as opposed to enticing your closest friends with beer and pizza.

And you very close to a good day until you grabbed an unassuming bag, only to discover a huge gash that extended to some of the clothing inside. After a justified breakdown, you sighed and surrendered to fate.

“Do you have a sewing kit?” You ask Seungkwan, looking at the large hole in your favourite sweater.

“In my nightstand,” Seungkwan replies mindlessly, eyes glued onto the TV. While he did help with the moving, the harmless idea of turning on the game had suddenly resulted in him holding open boxes while standing in the middle of the hallway, very entranced by the game.

You make your way through the mess of discarded boxes and enter his bedroom, being welcomed by the ever enticing scent of his cologne.

It’s only a minute or two after, that Seungkwan realises the predicament he’s in and stumbles his way into the bedroom, tripping over every single item on the floor.

He does realise it took him too long.

"What's all this?" You furrow your brows, looking at the very large array of velvet boxes in his nightstand.

"Nothing," Seungkwan hurries, closing the drawer way too fast. It comes out less as something he's embarrassed of and more that you should keep out of his business, not what he meant, of course.

"Right, sorry," You clear your throat, turning away without ever meeting his eyes.

It's enough to make him realise how his actions were received. "It's… Nothing, really, I mean it."

"Yeah, of course," You shrug, forcing a smile.

He sighs, "I mean it, look," reaching to pull the drawer open, Seungkwan gestures to the items inside.

In the drawer are a few velvet boxes tucked away and a tiny box with a loose ring and a necklace.

"It's fine!" You insist, "I shouldn't pry into something private."

"It's not private."

"Of course it is, I'm sure you keep your exes' stuff for sentimental reasons."

Seungkwan furrows his brow, staring at you, "They're not from my exes."

"You don't have to lie."

"I mean it."

"Seungkwan–"

"I mean it!" He kneels in front of you, reaching into the drawer.

"This one, I got you when we started pretending in uni… I felt like I needed to get you something… Both to prove that we were together and as a thanks," He places the shiny pendant in your hand. "This one is from when… we started sleeping together… I thought I should get you a ring for y'know," He shrugs, placing a single ring next to the pendant in your palm.

Seungkwan reaches into the drawer, picking up the first velvet box, "This one I bought for your birthday after I came to Seoul but I never got around to giving it to you." It's a very delicate necklace and it looks a little more expensive than the others. "And then the same year, when I started seeing someone else and didn't even tell you, I thought I should get you something as an apology and… a parting gift."

In the fancier box is a pair of stud earrings with tiny pearl drops.

"And then we kept seeing each other… and years passed and I realised I liked you… I wanted to make it official but… I was terrified," He confesses, "I was terrified of the commitment, I was terrified of what would happen if it didn't work out… But I got us matching rings, that never saw the light of day, of course," He laughs, the type of laugh that hides truer feelings.

The third box contained the matching couple rings.

You're speechless.

"And finally… when you came into my apartment… you got me out of my terrible, sorry state, you stayed by my side… Always did, but… Anyway– I–You said you loved me," He stares into your eyes and you are filled with so much emotion, he is sincere, you can feel it. "And I realised I loved you, too."

From the way your legs turn into jelly at the very sound of those words, you are so thankful for being sat.

"So I bought these rings and I scheduled a meeting with my company to talk about my future wedding. That's when my old PR manager went batshit on how it would ruin my career and decided to fuck me over… And it took me months to fix everything and make sure that we wouldn't have any problems," He raises his head to look at you, "So I came to visit and you were pregnant and I was. So. Happy…" His voice trails off. "I never wanted to marry you faster than right then and there. But then, you know what happened."

"Are you… fucking serious?"

His big brown eyes that more often than not prove themselves to be the bane of your existence glance away from your face.

Seungkwan readies himself for the incoming flurry of teasing that should come.

But it doesn't.

And then he raises his head, only to see that your face has contorted into a very ugly frown as you try to will your tears back into your eyes.

"What?" His face softens immediately and he's on you the very next second, reaching for your hands.

"I can't believe it," You hiccup.

"What's wrong?"

You can barely formulate coherent sentences with the turmoil that clouds your brain.

Seungkwan liked you.

For much longer than you could even fathom, he cherished you and the whole time you just thought he maybe tolerated your presence for the sake of getting into your pants. And all those years of suppressing your stupid feelings had culminated in this: a drawer full of unopened jewelry and erased love.

You can't help the very self-deprecating thoughts that tell you: you should've been braver.

"Baby, what's wrong?" His voice is soft and loving and stupid.

"Don't call me baby!" You wail, throwing your arms around his neck in a very confusing turn of events.

He does comfort you with light taps to your back.

"All this time," You hiccup, "I liked you and you liked me back and I kept hiding it because I was stupid! I'm sorry I said I didn't want to marry you."

"No, you… You were right to protect yourself," he shushes your cries. "I never proved myself to be someone very… Relationship worthy."

"No!" You shake your head, "I should've just… told you."

"Look… I was a dumb kid… I was terrified of being real with my feelings once I realised I liked you… And the longer I waited, the harder it got."

You nod.

"When you said "I love you"… It just felt like everything was coming together, y'know?"

"I do! I do love you!"

He smiles, hands reaching to cup your face.

"I wanted to marry you, I wanted to marry you so bad! But I was scared! I was scared you were only marrying me because I got pregnant!"

Seungkwan reaches to wipe your tears away.

"I thought if we got married for the baby, you'd grow to resent us both…"

"I could never resent you… Or our daughter."

"Oh, please, how was I supposed to know?!"

He laughs, "I should've told you I loved you. I should've told you I loved you and I wanted to marry you out of love."

"Tell me you love me again," You plea.

"I love you."

You can barely contain the stupid smile that tugs at the corners of your lips.

"I love you so much, Kwannie. I have loved you for so long…"

Seungkwan adjusts himself, pushing you back into a sitting position. He returns to his kneeling position on the floor and clears his throat.

"Marry me?"

Your dumbfounded stare goes for a bit longer than you wished for, enough to make him nervous another rejection was coming. But you break out into the world's most beautiful smile while you happily shout.

"Yes!"

"Oh, thank God."

Maybe it took a bit longer than most for you to find each other. But in the end, you had your future husband, your perfect baby and soon a dreamy home.

Seungkwan would announce his nuptials and upcoming paternity and receive a lot of love from the public. Many saw it as a show of maturity and trustworthiness, which did end up helping his career. Speaking of, he did go on a very long break as soon as you entered your third trimester, present at every waking moment. Except for when he almost passed out when you went into labour.

Parenthood hadn't been quite a challenge, not when you had each other. Your daughter was the sweetest, quietest little baby and such a cuddlebug. She always greeted her mummy and daddy with that toothless grin and sweet giggles, which made it very hard to think of stopping at just one kid.

You would return to teaching, balancing your family and work life and Seungkwan would come back to the spotlight. You two settled into the routine easily, picking up where the other needed.

Although life was different from as it was when you were younger, it wouldn't be hard to make do when you had each other. The future never looked as bright.

Since the very beginning, it had always been you and him against the world.

And until the very end, so it will be.

[loulouwrites]

BIRTHDAYS . ALFIE SOLOMONS

summary: birthdays are a big event in the solomons household - especially when it's alfie's favourite daughter's big day. warnings: swearing, children being children, complicated family dynamics, fluff, alfie loves all his children equally (honest), unedited word count: 2.2k a/n: nobody asked for this but here's a lil birthday story. this is the last of the prewritten stories but there's definitely more to come. ( i wrote this three melatonin deep so, if it makes no sense, forgive me!)

Alfie woke up to what felt like a ton of bricks being thrown onto his stomach.

"Fuckin' hell," he groaned, the bed bouncing up and down, jostling him from his sleep.

"Fucking hell," a little voice giggled from beside him and his eyes shot open at the sound. His daughter was kneeling beside him on the bed, already dressed for the day, wearing a frilly dress that reminded Alfie of a trifle, and pink ribbons in her - usually - wild hair.

"It's by birthday, dad," Bessie laughed, still bounching up and down on the bed.

"Have you already had your cake, Bess?" Alfie sat up begrudginly, leaning against the headboard, holding his arms out so Bessie could climb in his lap.

"Waiting for daddy," she pointed a finger at him in a way that reminded him of her mother, she was going through a phase of imitating everybody around her - it was endearing when she imitated her mum, less so when she imitated him.

"Well, we best get a move on, then," he swung his feet out of the bed, dragging the now three year old with him, her laughter drowning out the groan he let out due to the strain in his back from carrying the girl that seemed to get heavier everyday.

He carried her into the kitchen, ruffling Benjamin's hair as he passed him, the boy sitting quietly at the table eating his breakfast.

"Alfie, put her down," his wife warned as she fussed with the cake on the bench, little Noah perched on her hip, sucking on his thumb, taking in the scene. He was the calmest of the three children so far, he was only four months old, but Alfie swore he was going stay like that until adulthood - always calm, always studying those around him.

Alfie obeyed his wife, placing Bessie gently on the ground and walking to approach his wife, his daughter following close behind him, eyes fixed on the cake her mother was almost done perfecting.

He placed a chaste kiss on her lips, and then one on little Noah's hair, not oblivious to the toddler gripping onto his leg. He eyed the cake suspiciously, the colourful icing and decorations feeling like an assault on his eyes.

"What happened to a Vicky sponge? When did these things have to get all fancy?" He lifted a finger to touch the cake, but his hand was swatted away before he could reach - and ruin - it.

"It's the fashion now, old man, you need to get used to it," she smiled, raking her eyes up and down his body, her eyes narrowing. "Why aren't you dressed? It's nearly ten, Alf, party starts at twelve."

"Fuckin' hell, I'll go now," he groaned, reaching down to pick up Bessie from her place beside him, muttering to her as they left the kitchen together. "Your mum is so horrible on birthdays."

"Mum is horrible," Bessie laughed along, not really knowing what she was saying.

"It's not fair! Bessie got more presents than I did," Benjamin huffed, arms crossed over his chest from his seat on the sofa, his mother rubbing his shoulder soothingly.

"Will you stop your whining?" Alfie spoke to his son, he was sat cross legged on the floor, helping Bessie open the perfectly wrapped presents, the floor covered in floral wrapping paper.

His mother leaned in to her son's side, pulling him to her gently. "Yours were more expensive," she winked, earning a smile from the boy.

"A baby!" Bessie laughed as she opened her final present, the fabric doll with bright red hair and rosy cheeks making Alfie jump from his seat on the floor.

"Fuckin' hell," he took the doll from his daughter's hands, holding it up to show the other three people in the room. "It's uglier than Benny when he was born."

"Alfie!-"

"Dad-"

The mother and son chastised the man, the little girl throwing her head back as she laughed.

"We're the only one's with a sense of humour in this house, Bess," he muttered, handing the ugly doll back to her.

The doorbell rang at exactly twelve, and Alfie answered with Bessie dangling upside down in his arms.

"Oh, it's you," he said flatly when he saw the woman on the other side of the door.

"Bubbee!" Bessie shrieked, wriggling to get out of her father's grip, and he let her down as gently as possible, which wasn't easy considering she was upside down. Bessie slid ungracefully to the floor, picking herself up, unphased, throwing her arms around her grandmother.

"Happy birthday, Elisabeth," she smiled, and Alfie rolled his eyes, Bessie's head turned to him, a frown on her face.

"Who's Lisabeth?"

"Come in," Alfie turned before the woman could respond, speaking under his breath, "or fuck off home, I don't care."

"I hope I'm not too early," the older woman spoke as she trailed behind him. "I was told twelve."

Alfie ignored her, stalking into the kitchen where his wife was pulling some form of baked good out of the oven - she went overboard in his opinion.

"Your mother's here," he said in an overly cheerful tone, gesturing to where the woman stood behind him.

"Hello-"

The woman interrupted her daughter's greeting, moving to inspect the birthday cake that was now presented on a crystal stand on the kitchen table.

"Is this the cake?" She raised a brow, and Alfie lifted his head to the ceiling, taking a deep breath. "It's awfully fancy, you were lucky if you got a Victoria sponge."

His head snapped to his wife, who was now standing with a sly grin on her face.

"It's funny you should say that mum, because Alfie-"

"It ain't fancy at all," Alfie interrupted with a scoff. "Anyways, our Elisabeth deserves the best, don't ya, Lis?" He scopped his daughter up in his arms.

"Who is Lis?" She frowned.

The doorbell rang, breaking the awkward tension in the room.

"Thank fuck for that," Alfie sighed, carrying Bessie to answer the door for the second time.

In hindsight, inviting twenty people with twenty toddlers into their home wasn't the best idea. The house had been filled with screams of laughter and terror for the better part of two hours, and it was driving Alfie mental.

He didn't really like kids, he thought they were dirty, messy and stupid. His children were the exeption, they were clever and clean - even four month old Noah had better manners than some of these three year olds. If Bessie's birthday taught him anything, it was that the only children he liked were his own.

"You want a drink, Alf?" His wife's brother? cousin? asked him holding up a glass of whiskey from the other side of the living room.

"Don't touch it...mate," Alfie declined, shaking his head in disgust at the gesture. He was telling the truth, this day not only marked the birth of his daughter, but the last time he had a sip of alcohol - determined not to have a repeat of three years ago. He was proud himself for that, he had never been a big drinker, even in his younger days, but he never felt obligated to swear off the stuff until the day Bessie was born - whether it was because he felt genuine guilt, or the reoccuring nightmare regarding Ms Abrams and that Charles Dickens book, he wasn't too sure.

Bessie was asleep next to him on the sofa when his wife approached with a cup of tea, the little girl's mouth open, pink icing still smeared across her face, it was the first time she'd fallen asleep before her bedtime since the day she was born.

"Your family drinks too much," Alfie eyed the fathers in the corner of the room, growing more rowdy as the minutes ticked by, the expensive bottle of whiskey he bought his wife for his birthday now empty, barely a drop left.

She raised a brow at him, "is that a fucking joke? A Solomons is saying my family drinks too much?"

"We sell, we don't drink."

"You don't drink, your cousins on the other hand?" She shook her head as if she were trying to shake the thought of his family away. She had only met them a handful of times, at weddings or funerals, and she was happy to keep their interactions at a minimum, lest she receive another black eye from being shoved away during a drunken scuffle.

"My family are fun," Alfie protested, though there was no real fight in his tone. "Yours are drunk and stuck up."

"It's a three year old's birthday, Alfie. I'd take drunk and stuck up over hammered and violent."

There was a smile on her face as she spoke, his family was fun, though she would never admit it.

He kicked everyone out at five. throwing his arms up as he herded them out of the house, wishing them well and thanking them for coming, not caring about their response.

"Yeah, bye now, Rachel, by now," he said, closing the door on his wife's aunt before she could say anything in response. He slumped against the closed against the closed door, his forehead pressing into the cool wood, closing his eyes relishing the sound of silence.

"Alfie."

"Fuck," he shouted, spinning around to face his mother-in-law, who was stood directly behind him, her hat on her head and gloves on her hands. "You leavin' so soon?"

"It was nice seeing you, Alfie but I don't want to overstay my welcome," she offered him a strained smile.

"You?" His eyes widened, a fake smile on his face. "Never." He opened the door for her, not waiting until she had fully passed the threshold before slamming it shut.

The family were sat in the living room in silence, the chaotic mess surrounding them completely forgotten as they savoured the calmnmess that enveloped the house since the last guest left.

Bessie was still flat out at Alfie's side, Noah sleeping against his mother's chest.

"Dad?" Benjamin said from Alfie's other side, and Alfie opened one eye to glance at his son. "Is Bessie your favourite?"

"Now what makes you think that?" Alfie opened both of his eyes, sitting up carefully as to not wake the birthday girl.

"You say it all the time."

"Well...yeah, I suppose I do," he stroked his beard thoughtfully. "No, she isn't, because I don't have a favourite."

Benajamin offered his father a skeptical look, one that clearly said 'I don't believe you.'

“Okay, the truth is, your sister needs more reassurance than you do," he gestured his son to lean in, whispering in his ear, "you're my real favourite."

Benjamin smiled a toothy smile, jumping up from the sofa and happily running up the stairs to his bedroom.

His wife grinned at him from the seat across from him.

"Liar," she whispered.

It was six o'clock when the doorbell rang, and everybody's head lifted to glance at the door from the dining room table.

"Now, who could that be?" Alfie rose dramatically from his chair, his eyes flickering in between his two oldest children, "I wonder if it's Bessie and Benjamin's big present." He strode towards the front door, ignoring his wife's panicked calling of his name.

"About time," he spat at Ollie, motioning for him to come inside, the present following behind the two men apprehensively.

The children were sat up straight in their seats when he returned to the dining room, a smile on his face, their hopeful expressions turning into ones of pure joy when they saw the four legged creature sat at his feet, panting happily.

"Please don't hurt me," Ollie whispered, his eyes fixed on the woman sat at the dining table, a scowl on her face.

"A doggy!" Bessie screamed, jumping down from her chair and running to kneel in front of the animal, Benjamin following her happily.

"It's fucking massive, Alfie," his wife spat, her arms crossed across her chest. "Where did it even come from?"

"Funny story that," he pointed to the Ollie, then to the dog. "Ollie found it, behind the bakery, getting beaten half to death by some cunt, poor thing...truly fucked up what happened to it...and Ollie brought it into the bakery," his wife glared at him but he continued on, "yesterday all this happened, why I was so late home."

"What happened to the owner, dad?" Benjamin asked, patting the happy dog on its head, laughing as she leaned in to lick his face gratefully.

"Well..." Alfie cocked his head to the side, "gave 'im a little warning, didn't I? He won't be harmin' no more dogs, let's put it that way."

"Can we keep her, mum?" Benjamin asked.

"Well I can't say no now, can I?" She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest, unmoved by her children's cheers.

"What's her name?" Bessie asked, hugging the dog around its broad shoulders.

"She don't have one, yet, thought the birthday girl should choose," he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Don't she look a bit like bubbee?"

"Bubbee!" Bessie squealed, "Name's bubbee!" The dog lurched up at the sound of her new name, knocking the toddler back as it licked her face gently.

"Fucking hell!" Bessie laughed, and her mother's eyes widened.

Alfie's eyes locked with his wife's, and he pointed to the little girl.

"Favourite," he mouthed.

[th3-3d3n-g4rd3n]

Could you plz write a sub!glenn rhee x fem reader fic?

Were glenn is like dry humping the readers leg and cums and he feels like really embarrassed but he can’t stop because it feels so good, and the reader is teasing him and low-key making fun of him but not like actually if that makes sense

i’ve had a flow of inspiration babe and i hope you enjoy because i did

☆彡༄

s1! glenn rhee x grimes daughter! reader

(i think this is technically gn reader i don’t think readers genitals are described)

(i know i said i don’t write age gaps… just pretend lori had her when she was like 16 guys idk 😔 - both characters are 18+)

also it’s not specified but the events of this take place in an RV, not just out in the open… thought i’d clarify

cw: (kinda) enemies to lovers, hinted that the reader is taller than him or same height (he’s 5’9 and so am i… i did that purely for me however, it can be ignored so my short queens can still read), dry humping (obvi), cumming in pants, there’s no definite consent but it’s obviously consensual (if that makes sense), shane slander (deserved), reader is like low-key mean… reference to masturbation, he cums twice (so like overstimulation?), they don’t get caught as such but people know what they did after

1826 words

☆彡༄

It was a chilly Friday evening, most people were gathered around the campfire but, you weren’t. You were told by Shane to make dinner for yourself, him, Lori and Carl and this pissed you off relentlessly. Who the fuck did he think he was? Him banging your mum didn’t make him your dad so, why on earth did he think it did? So of course, an argument ensued which ended up with Lori siding with Shane and just telling you to stop making a scene and to just make the dinner. Obviously, it wasn’t a big deal… you just don’t like Shane.

You were so enveloped in anger that you didn’t notice the footsteps approaching you. “Hey…” a voice spoke from behind you, practically making you jump out of your skin. “Jesus, fuck!” you shout, “don’t fucking sneak up on me! What the hell?” You don’t mean to come off so aggressive, you’re just so angry already that this was like pulling a block from an already falling jenga tower.

“Shit… my bad I thought you heard me come in…” he mumbles, eyes widened from the unexpected reaction. You only roll your eyes and turn back around to keep making the nasty pasta salad that Shane wanted. “Um… Can we talk?” he says cautiously, noticing that this probably isn’t the time but, continuing with his point anyway. All you do is grunt, he assumes in agreement as you looked a bit less aggressive than before.

“Why… do you hate me? Did I do something to you that I don’t know? It just seems like you get on with mostly everyone else but not me. Like, what did I do?” he questions you, seemingly genuine. You roll your eyes, “my God, not everything is deep. I don’t hate you, just don’t exactly like you” you mumble, “you just kinda annoy me sometimes.”

“And, you’re annoying me because you won’t give me a proper explanation! Can you just give me a real answer?” he exasperates, raising his tone slightly. “Fine, you want an answer? You’re literally perfect and it’s really fucking annoying. Also, not everybody had to like you all the time. Grow a backbone, man.” you explain.

His eyebrows are furrowed and he wears a confused expression, “wait… what? You think I’m… perfect?”

“I’m glad that’s the only thing you listened to.” You state sarcastically, rolling your eyes at him. “Of course it is! You just said I’m perfect! I thought you hated me!” he reciprocates the same sarcastic tone that you used.

Suddenly, you turn around to him and shove him against the wall and walk over to him menacingly, taking a silent note of his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Did you come here just to annoy me?” you raise you eyebrow at him as you tilt your head.

He puts in a fake angry face, trying to badly mask the flustered feeling that’s creeping up inside of him. “Maybe I did” he smirks, basking in the attention you’re giving him right now.

See, the thing is, he’s had a crush on you since he’d first seen you at the beginning of the apocalypse. It’d been a few months now and his feelings had just been getting stronger and stronger. It was so obvious. I mean, you pretended to be oblivious because the more people you loved, the more people you had to lose. It was the best for both of you. You tried so desperately to try and make him dislike you because the truth is, you’d begun to get feelings for the man too but, his feelings were relentless and nothing seemed to work.

“Yeah, I knew you fucking did. What else do you do but annoy me? Huh?” you start to raise your voice, adjacent to the heat raising within you. “You don’t know me as much as you think you do.” he grumbles, looking at the floor to avoid your piercing gaze. “Don’t underestimate me.” you bark bluntly, “I know a lot about you, more than I need to.”

He glances up at you in confusion and fear. Did you… know? “Like what?” he questions suspiciously. You slam your foot against the wall in between his legs, placing your thigh awfully close to his groin, he sure hopes you don’t notice his-

“I can read you like a book, Glenn. You’re a people pleaser, even though you pretend you’re not. You like to pretend that you know more than you do because it makes you feel better about your wasted potential. Oh, and you’re hard as a rock right now” his eyes widen at the last sentence. It had left your mouth so casually, making him question every experience he’d had with you over the last few months. Had you known this whole time? What had you seen? Had you seen him touching himself? Heard him moan your name under his breath? He shakes the thoughts out of his head, of course you hadn’t, you’d of brought it up by now, made fun of him, teased him mercilessly. After all, you hated him… right?

“I’m not a people pleaser!” his grumbles out, “a-and… I’m not hard!” he continues, sounding less and less convinced as he carries on the sentence. “Come on, you do whatever people tell you to do! Oh and-“ you cut yourself off before taking your leg that was placed between his and pulling yourself so that you’re closer to him, your thigh now pressed against his attentive crotch. “Not hard, huh?” You push your thigh against him, creating a grinding motion.

“S-shit…” he groans out, his head falling into the wall behind him. He scrunches his face, as if bracing himself, before lifting his head back up, “I… I don’t do everything I’m told! Shut… ugh- up” he grunts out in between weak mewls. You grab his face by the cheeks, your nails digging into him and you were sure there’d be little crescents etched into his skin once you let go. You pull his face towards you, going nose to nose with the man that you were looming over, “do me a favour, Glenn. Stop talking and do what you’re told, okay?” you sneer at him as he looks up at you, his expression conveying anger but his eyes twinkled with lust.

His heart pounding in his chest, he could feel your warm breath on his lips, the lips that he so desperately wanted to lock onto yours. He feels dizzy from the dull stimulation your thigh was giving him. It simultaneously felt like too much and not enough and it made the poor boy feel his knees weaken. He nods his head, acknowledging that your question was rhetorical but deciding to answer anyway, “okay… I’ll do what you tell me to” he whispers out, silently cussing at himself for how easily he gave in but also, how easily his pride was bruised.

You chuckle at how quickly you seemed to have wrecked the man, scoffing under your breath “don’t do what you’re told, my ass.” All he could do is look down to the ground, ashamed at the links of moans that he was producing from the increased pressure that you were putting on him.

Finally kissing the man, you hear his muffled whimpers; his desperate hands clawing at your shoulders, trying to stabilise himself as he feels his orgasm approaching. You stop moving your thigh, hoping he’ll take the initiative to keep going and, he does. His head falls back as he ruts against you needily.

You take advantage of his exposed neck, kissing and nipping down it until you find the spot that makes him moan especially loud, giving that spot special attention - licking, kissing, biting. You can tell he’s enjoying himself from the erotic noises he was making. As much as you loved to hear it, the walls of the RV were thin and your little brother was outside. You placed your hand over his mouth and your other hand on his hip, supporting his movements.

“You’re so hot” you mumble in his ear, “keep going for me, cum in your pants, pretty boy.” The mixture of your commanding tone and the adrenaline he was feeling at the risk of being heard/ caught tips him over the edge. He cusses under his breath, body shaking and spasming under your touch.

He looks up at you, eyes half closed as if he was tired. Still breathing heavily, he leans his forehead on your shoulder to stabilise himself.

You chuckle at his fucked out state before realising something. He was still humping you, you look up at him with your eyebrow raised, feeling a wave of surprise course through you. His eyes are glossed over, starting to feel the effects of overstimulation. “Jesus, pretty boy, still horny?” you tease. “C-can’t stop, feels too good” he whines out, sending a pool of heat to your lower regions.

“Shit shit shit shit- ah.. ah” he starts to whine loudly from his extreme sensitivity. You place your hand over his mouth as you hear him release high pitched moans that people could DEFINITELY hear outside. He starts shaking and you can tell that he’s quickly approaching his 2nd orgasm, coming to the finish line much quicker than he did last time.

He shivers as he feels the pleasure rush through him, as if it was coursing through his veins, his legs become weak and his knees give in. He falls to his knees on the floor and rests his forehead by your knee. You take his face in your hands as you bend down to him, “shit, are you okay?” you worry that you’ve pushed him too far. “How did you do that? It’s like I was under a spell… I didn’t know I could feel that good…” he looks up at you with half lidded eyes and you see that light tears decorate the inner corners of his eyes. You swipe them away with your thumbs and whisper to him, “told you I can read you like a book, darlin’. You believe me now?” you smirk at him as he nods weakly.

You stand up once more, helping him stand up too as he regains his strength. “Would you like to stay for dinner? It’s almost done and you’re here anyway…” you offer and he smiles at you, “that’d be nice.”

He stands up to help you serve up the food before looking down, noticing that he has a large wet patch on his pants, “I may need to change these though…” he murmured, mildly embarrassed of his actions.

You couldn’t help but chuckle when you looked down before nodding over to your mum’s bedroom, “take some of Shane’s jeans, he has enough anyway, he won’t notice” you roll your eyes, thinking back to the annoying man that was trying to take your father’s place. He nods and giggles slightly, “anything to piss off Shane!”

[kay-elle-cee]

@jilytoberfest 31 Prompts: Day 10 || 543 Words || Read on Ao3 —

3 July 1977

03 July 1977 1:06pm

Lily: I need to tell you something but you have to promise not to do anything stupid about it.

Cross-legged on her childhood bed, Lily chews on the end of her pen as her eyes stay trained to the little scrap of charmed parchment that sits in front of her. Light pours in through the open window, bathing her in its summer glow and her stomach churns, unsure if he’ll have the ability to reply immediately, though she desperately needs it.

James: …that’s a hell of a way to start.

Lily: You have to promise.

James: I don’t even know what it is I’d be doing something stupid about. I’d like to have the rest of the information first, if you don’t mind.

Bugger. She supposes it’s not that unjust of a request.

Lily: It’s my mum.

Lily: She’s gone and set me up on a date with a friend’s son.

James: I see. And you were expecting me to…what? Come crash the date? Show up like some jilted lover angry to find his girl with another?

Lily: I cannot emphasize how much I don’t want to go, but I told her I wasn’t seeing anyone and I’ve fallen into her trap.

Lily: I just wanted to let you know it’s happening, and it’s not my choice, and I am not happy about it, so please don’t make an already mortifying situation any worse.

James: You haven’t even told me where the date is going to be. Virtually impossible to show up unannounced that way.

James: Unless…

James: Evans, do you want me to crash your date?

Lily: Of course not!

James: You sly thing. You want me to ruin your date so you don’t have to hurt this poor bloke’s feelings all on your own, don’t you?

Lily: Now you’re just being ridiculous.

James: Me? Lil, there is a whole other way this conversation could’ve gone. “I told my mum I wasn’t seeing anyone so she’s set me up with a friend from her knitting group’s son (ugly mug, I’m told, poor thing). It doesn’t mean a thing but I have to go to fulfill some sort of blood oath between knitting club members. Please know my heart beats only for you.”

Lily: Quite the poet, you are.

Lily: And Gerald’s not got an ugly mug!

James: Oh it’s Gerald now, is it?  

Lily: Just a quick bite for dinner tonight and we part ways as friends. I promise.

James: Lil, I’m just teasing you. I trust you, of course. I know we’re keeping this under wraps for now…I won’t pretend that I expected something like this to happen, but it’s fine.

Lily: …You’re really great, do you know that?

James: Of course I do. You might want to tell Lily of 1976 that though.

Lily: Poor thing would never believe me.

James: She’d think it was some elaborate ruse on my end.

Lily: Oh, absolutely.

Lily: If you promise not to make a scene…I’ll let you know where I’m meeting Gerald for dinner. If you’re not busy, maybe we could get some ice cream after?

James: I’ll be on my best behavior. Watching in dutiful silence from the other side of the diner.

Lily: Oh, don’t you dare.

[icallhimjoey]

Q&A things, here we go:

this is joe's first time in philly

joe said his life has changed immensely and that it's so nice to have a character that's so loved, it's beyond what he could have ever imagined

joe knew the eddie book was going to come out, he's on board with it, is involved with it, is excited about it but doesn't know much else

for the most epic theme song for his life, joe chose heroes by david bowie

joe just sat and waited for is passport to be found, didnt go "through hell" like the moderator suggested

if eddie got a spin-off, joe asked if it could be with chrissy and thinks they'd be a good duo

when asked what crimes their characters would be fighting, joe said he thinks eddie would take it very seriously (whereas grace mentioned she thinks it'll be scooby-doo funny and they'd solve nothing)

joe on eddie: eddie represents the outsider and is on the fringes of society and becomes a hero, it's brave to be different and brave to be yourself.

joe watched the peep show whilst filming st4

joe has not seen are you being served

joe mentioned set shenanigans, said it was funny to see grace in a harnes just hanging there

he mentioned how natalia is good a photoshop again

joe starts filming gladiator 2 next month and doesnt know if he's allowed to use his own accent

joe wants to use his own accent for gladiator 2

about eddie becoming kas, joe said no one has called him, but theoretically it could happen - probably won't, but it could

joe got to pick all the eddie tattoos himself, and he just picked the ones he thought looked good

when he picked the bats he didnt realize his demise

he was wearing pink socks, idk, felt like i should mention

joe's stepdad was a camera man, his mum worked in tv promotion, so joe would go into work with them and see that it was the most extraordinary place, he wanted to be a part of that

joe says you need good stamina for theater, and that you don't get paid well for doing theater

joe's scared to do a shakespeare play bc 'we all know how they end'

grace said joe should be used to dying by now

joe's never going to get used to seeing his face on so many things but he loves the creativity

joe is happy so many people have the eddie guitar, but doesnt feel like a rockstar (he did when filming that scene, but thats it)

joe loves all the heartfelt letters he receives, feels that it's more than something physical

Joe likes F Scott Fitzgerald

would love to play in something set in the 1920 bc he wants to be a flapper girl

joe had a cheesesteak for dinner last night

joe thinks eddie wouldnt have gotten into college, but instead would have been a rockstar - eddie would have made it

also said that eddie and chrissy would've been friends

joe has played DnD once, and we've all seen it, said he'd like to play again

asked for a bar recommendation from the moderator, bc why not, you know?

(big massive fat thanks to @jo-harrington who sent me live updates throughout the whole thing)

[stgosupremacy]

you're probably wondering what that nutcase stgosupremacy is gonna post next well you hve your answer now

YEP YEP YEP HERE'S THE NEXT ONE!!!! 🤩🤩

right

let's start off with

this

"Hey Goh, uh, I'm right outside of your apartment-"

"YOU ARE?!"

just the casual moment where goh thought he had a stalker in his hands

actually i didn't really have much to say on this i just thought it was cute when ash explained cerise gave him goh's address and asks goh, where are you now?

THEN HE MAKES THIS FACE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW cmon like HES LITERALLY CRUSHING SO BAD I CAN'TT 🥺💖💖💖💖

like in goh's perspective he didn't know ash was coming to give him the thing he dropped, so he must have thought ash had for some reason changed his mind about going to pallet town and wanted to go with goh instead?? (ok even tho this wasn't the actual case ash actually stays with them anyways so-)

I love it when Ash answers for Goh the second they meet his parents then

LOOK AT THIS SNEAKY BLUSHY GLANCE TO ASH BEFORE THE ANIMATORS SWITCHED THE SCENE WITHIN A SECOND THINKING NO ONE WOULD SEEE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

goh was down badd the first few episodes cl

bahahaha this is such boyfriend teasing from ash I LOVE IT 🥺😂

right. here comes the best bit

"I had something else for you, I guess I must have lost it or something..."

"You mean this?" 😉😉

i love how you can hear the smile in his voice and it sounds like he was waiting forever to give it to him 😂

I'm not joking i heard like literal wedding bells in this scene 💀 BUT LOOK AT GOH'S LITTLE BLUSH AND HES SO SHOCKED HJFDKN\FDM

"You dropped this right before you got on the bus."

"Wow- You don't really mean you came here just to give it back do you?" (🥺🥺🥺) "All that way?"

THIS IS SO PURE. OHMAGOSDSJ

mk when he said all that way as well you can see how much Goh cant believe him like omggg 😭💖 we all need an ash in our lives i think

"Course!"

what the hell ash is actually so cute bless him

goh seems to think so too bc LOOK AT HIS REACTION BRO 🥺🥺🥺🥺 nah his eyebrows literally start shaking like he cannot contain himselfff and for some reason these wedding bell noises still keep ringing out in this scene HmMMm 😂😂

love to point out the sunset behind them too 🥰💖

"Ash, you're the best!"

he really is 🥺 goh says this a lot actually which he rightfully should

the way goh peeks out over the present to look at him is actually so cute HOW IS THIS SHIP NOT CANON I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND

"It's cool!... Now why don't you give it to your mum and dad?"

Ash actually looks kind of looks and sounds nervous when he started speaking which i thought was pretty cute 😂

THIS SCENE IS SO ADORABLE OMG LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE AND I SMILE EVERYTIME I WATCH IT <3

i noted someone pointing this parallel to amourshipping and can't unsee it , this is surely too similar to be coiencedence lmao ‼🤨

the ash de-maturing animation style still trips me up especially when we go to a later scene in the ep...

....they are literally so goofy i actually adore them 😂😂😂

enjoy this beautiful view of vermillion city to finish off!!! (sorry this post seemed so long but it's actually cos i shovedlike 30 pics in it so😍)

this episode is so stuffed with satogou it's insaneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 🥺💗💖

[herejusttosufferalong]

I've started and deleted this sentence several times now and don't really know how to begin. So let's just go for it and say seriously WHAT THE FUCK has been the last 6 months!? My mind is a clusterfuck rn. I love L and N but they are seriously debilitating. Like I've been see-sawing between casual nonchalance about everything saying "haha this is great ride, what's next in store?" to just confused exasperation and emotional fatigue. I don't even know these people, and yet I am so fucking invested. This has never happened to me. They are like a drug. Seriously, whatever they are selling, I will buy 10 of everything, pump it into my veins. Why is my kink now seeing them get married, have kids and L be a stay-at-home daddy while N rules the fucking world?! N, alone, has me questioning my sexuality. Then I remember L is there, and I go oh yeah him too. Them is my sexuality. It's so messy. Anyway, now to the point of this. I had some flashbacks while watching L's Loewe Vogue video today. Watching his groomer give him a lovely face and head massage instantly transported me to Ireland with the infamous forehead stroke. Honestly, imo, the biggest turning point of the whole tour. So much happened before this time, but I really do think this moment was critical. I will outline why.

Obviously, Ireland was a massive deal for N. The excitement of getting back home and meeting family and friends, the amazing reception, it was special. She talked ad nauseam about her mum meeting L and honestly all I could think was when has anyone been excited/nervous about their parents meeting just a friend? You feel that certain way because you're wanting approval, you're wanting them to feel the same way you do about that person and welcome them into the family, as it were. I've never felt that way with friends, but I had done with my boyfriend (now husband). But maybe that's just me? L didn't seem as caught up in it, like almost trying to downplay a lot of her ott excitement. I also noticed that they were less touchy feely overall compared to earlier on in the trip, which was so unhinged honestly, I didn't know what to do with myself. But then came the moment. I don't think enough people have broken this moment down. So the interviewer asks the question, that's been asked oh so many times, "was it easier or harder to do the intimacy scenes with a friend?" And N looks at L and thinks to herself, he has a hair out of place on his forehead, I'm going to reach out and stroke his forehead right in the middle of this god damn interview. Not once, but a few times, like her little hand was built to stroke that man's face. Now, tbf, she does ask permission but also tbf her hand is already at his face before he can answer a whispered, guttural, "mhmm". He leans in, we loose L for a bit there, then he comes back saying "ok" like you probably got that hair now, think we should stop now. And her going into 'mother' mode telling him to turn his head, good boy. And his little worried face when it's over. And them talking about how N just can't stop picking hairs off people on set. Mmm ok. If they were in Regency outfits, I would be expecting a mirror scene next up. But you might say to me, well shit like this has happened countless times, it's just another thing. Well, I say no, this time was different. They both knew they had crossed a line, publicly, her initiation, his reaction. Because they were strange as hell at the London premiere. He avoided her gaze. She visibly stopped herself from touching him. One occasion, I saw her reach out to his arm or back, and she looked behind him (I think where their teams were?), and immediately pulled her arm back. The first moment she was asked about people shipping Lukola she had a pre-prepared speech ready to go to explain the head stroke. It was forced. A lot of what she said seemed so rehearsed, and although, I'm certain N does think a lot about what she is going to say in interviews, usually she is very natural about it and let's it flow. That lady was stressed and making a point that L is just a 'bud'. The lady doth protest to much, methinks. She's seen everything we've typed about her and L's behaviour during the tour, so why start over-explaining and defending behaviour now? She was STRESSED. That was the overt, obvious, stop yourself type of behaviour, and yet we still saw SOME of that unconscious stuff seep through, like him searching for her hand, her looking up at him like a God, her stroking his thumb with hers while holding hands (seriously, why was that SO intimate to me?). Point being, you can't fake that stuff, the repression and release. The unconscious behaviour. They knew something was rumbling. Or at least, N did. My opinion is that they have not acted on those rumblings, because if they had, it would be OVER. Electric. Power surge. Goodnight. Pack your bags and goodbye. We might not even exist anymore, tbh. But I shall wait over here and keep eating all the crumbs I can get. (I am sooo sorry about the length of whatever this is, thank you much the same, it was so nice to vent).

OKay but like I kinda fuckin love you anon...

I had the biggest smile on my face reading this.

There is so much to unpack here. We will have to chat sometime.

LOVE x