#like what are you trying to be lookin cute and sexy for? the monsters?

[commandernarumi]

nah it’s killing me how the other combatants who use numbered monster weapons have their weapon-suit designed normally. all business and fight yeah. tough stuff

meanwhile there’s mr. captain number one going to battle with his slutty off shoulder jacket on top of his weapon-suit:

dont tell me that jacket was not literally CUSTOMIZED to be ALWAYS off shoulder cus the length fits him perfectly. he’s so extra

[slasherrabbitmadness]

Beach day with the Slashers

Female Reader -Bo- Gender-neutral -everyone else-

Bo- Fingering but no penetration. Dirty talk.

Angst and Fluff with Herbert and Dan (They pronouns used for Y/N) Fluff with Michael and Jason.

Michael Myers (1978 with the extra height of the 2018 one)

> Wants to visit the beach during the day. He’ll even have his mask off. Instead of enjoying the beautiful view of the sun hitting the blue ocean, you spend your day staring at your handsome boyfriend.

> Michael is just there to scan for new victims. He kills people who litter, hates seeing wrappers and cigarette butts littered across nature.

> You egg him on to go swimming, it takes a lot of coaxing. “Please, Michael, just for a little bit.” He points to your belongings on the towel, “They’ll be fine, who’s gonna want to steal some sandwiches and some towels?” He shook his head. You got down on your knees and gave him sad puppy dog eyes. He grumbled then lifted you onto his shoulder, you squealed as you placed your hands on his firm back, rubbing his taut muscles.

> When he got up to his pecs in the water he threw you in. You came up for air, “Mikey, what the hell!?”

> “What? You wanted in the water.” He gave a small smile.

> He made you swim in front of the beach while he just stood in the water and watched. He knew you’d be fine, it was your belongings he was worried for. You caught his eyes, his already dark blue eyes were now matching the deepest parts of the ocean. He barreled through the water, pushing you aside. You watched him as he made his way up onto the beach.

> Some fuck had the bright idea to do some stealing. He just happens to choose the one man’s belongings you don’t fuck with.

> Before that guy had time to react to a six-foot-three man, hauling ass like he is a tiger chasing after a deer, Michael clocked him so hard in the face the man immediately went down.

> People stood around Michael, some congratulating him for knocking out a thief, others gawked “My God he swung that punch so hard.” “Is the thief even breathing?” Michael stood over your belongings, and turned back towards you, just making your way out of the ocean. Michael was mad, but not as mad at what he saw next.

> Some random beach Chad made his way over to you, “Yo, that was wild huh?” You gave a quick, “Ya.” not caring to speak to him, just wanted to get back to your boyfriend. “He just knocked that guy out in one punch.” You made your way up the beach, he grabbed at you “Hey, be careful, probably want to stay aw-”

>The poor sap never stood a chance, Michael swung his fist so hard Chad went flying back into the water.

> “I’ve had enough, we're leaving.”

> You were gonna protest, but when you scanned the crowd, you realized that yeah, we’re gonna go home.

> Walking back home, Michael held your hand, tightly. “Mikey?” He grunts, “You don’t like people touching your belongings, huh?” You turned to look up at him and he caught you in a kiss. He snuck his tongue in, dominating yours, you moaned and he pulled away. You whined and he smiled.

> “what’s mine is mine.”

Jason Voorhees

> He’s the beach’s lifeguard, so if you wanna spend a beach day with Jason, you’ll have to do it after hours. You would, but Jason takes the evening shifts too.

> Everybody loved Jason. Kids loved him, he was always so nice to them after all. He gave them swimming lessons. He was always so patient with them, never getting mad if a kid was struggling to grasp the basics.

> Men and Women loved Jason. His stoic demeanor, his calming presence...his bulging muscles. Jason was oblivious to all kinds of flirting. “Your hands are like, so big!” said a bubbly tanned beach bunny. Jason just grunts. A muscle-bound beach bro asked, “Bet you lift a lot eh, what’s your macros?” Jason just looked at his large bicep, he shrugged.

> When you visit him at work he gives you small waves then his eyes go right back to the water, not wanting to miss anything. Dedicated <3

> He doesn’t take a proper lunch break, he’ll eat his food while watching the beach, scarfing down the food as fast as possible.

> After a long day, you’ll finally have Jason all to yourself.

> Night swimming!

> You and Jason have splash fights, that he often wins, his large palms create huge splashes that knock you back into the water.

> Keeps you incredibly close in the water, will bug you to wear a life jacket if you ever swam without him. He’s very protective.

> Holds you close to him the further out you go. He won’t let you go, so it’s the perfect time to smother him in kisses.

> Jason hums into your kisses, his large hands running up and down your back, the water and his hands feel perfect on your skin.

> Jason couldn’t be happier that you're together.

Herbert West + Dan Cain - Poly relationship or what Derrick Barry calls a ‘throuple’

> “Please Herbert, for me?” He grimaced at you. Don’t you know how busy he is? Perfect specimens don’t just end up dead you know? Someones gotta end a life! You sighed and brought out the big gun. “Well, Dan said-” The moment Dan left your lips, Herbert was pushing you and him out the door.

> You and Dan had a blast, building castles, collecting seashells, playing some beach volleyball with another friendly couple.

> Herbert sulked under the beach umbrella, nose in a large medical textbook.

> “If you come with us, Herbert, we’ll get you a grape freezie!” Dan coaxed but it did not affect Herbert. Herbert waved you both off as if you were two mosquitoes bugging him.

> You and Dan walked hand in hand, swinging them in between yourself on your way to the little concession stand. “You sure it was for the best we brought him, Dan?” Dan looked at you and frowned, your eyes were a little glossy. “He only came because you were coming.” You felt the tears rolling down your cheek.

> “fuck, Herbert, you little monster.” Dan cursed to under his breath. Dan knew Herbert gravitated more towards him. It’s not that Herbert didn’t like you, just Dan was there first. Dan never told you but he often caught Herbert staring at you, a softness in his eyes that Dan knew meant one thing…

> “I’m sorry…” You mumbled, quickly rubbing the back of your hand over your eyes. Dan shushed you and brought you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head.

> “Don’t be, Herbert should be. Some Vitamin D is much needed for his pale little body. I’ll talk to him, okay? In the meantime, focus on me!”

> Dan and you continued with the most fun day ever. You ate your freezies, swapping flavors halfway through. A little boy asked Dan to help with flying his kite, Dan’s height coming in handy.

> Herbert stewed in his spot under the umbrella, watching you and Dan have fun, “Hmph, wasting time.” He kept peeking from his book, eyes on you, how you smiled when you looked into Dan’s eyes, how you leaned in closer, head resting on his shoulder. How Dan wrapped his arm around your waist, lips on your ear whispering...God knows what, Herbert can only imagine.

> “They could just yank me away from this, make me spend time with them...not that I want to. But if they dragged me away from my book then I’d have no choice.���

> When it got late, You and Dan packed away everything into the bags, Herbert supervised. How helpful/s

> Dan had you drop a few of the smaller items at the car on your own, he made Herbert help with some of the heavier items. As your figure became smaller and smaller in the distance, Dan turned to Herbert, “You know, they wer-”

> “I can’t believe you two, frolicking about so openly.” Herbert had cut Dan off. Herbert fumbled with the bags while trying to push up his glasses. Dan fumed.

> “You mean act like a couple, which we are, which you're a part of. Or are you only a couple with me?”

> Herbert snapped “excuse me, you and Y/N are most certainly a couple, which I have no part of.”

> Dan scoffed and shook his head “They want to be with you too, Herbert, They do like you, They feel upset with how you treat them. Now I know deep down you adore them, you best start showing it.”

> Herbert stopped, he looked at Dan and then at you in the distance starting the car.

> Later that night, Herbert had asked if you’d help in the basement. As tired as you were, you went to help. Herbert scarcely looked at you, but he found ways to touch you. Hands ghosting over yours as you handed him some flasks. Grabbing your hips softly to move you out of the way.

> “Everything good, Herbert?” You asked. His eyes looked everywhere but you. He stepped a little closer to you, His face only a foot away.

> He smashed his lips onto yours and wrapped you up in his arms. His hands rubbing along your sides, pulling you in so tight you were surprised he was strong enough to bring pain that way.

> “Don’t cry over me. Okay?” Your face felt hot, you nodded. “You are mine too, not just Dan’s, okay?” You nodded again. “Good. Now kiss me.”

> The kiss started tender but that just wasn’t gonna cut it with all the tension between you two.

Bo Sinclair /Female reader/

> Lookin’ at all the pretty girls go by.

> Catches you catching him staring, flashes his baby blues at you, “C’mon darling, you know you're still the apple of mah eye.”

> Gets pissed when other guys check you out. Strolls on over and wraps an arm around you, sneering at the Chads and Kyles.

> “You just had to wear that sexy little number, didn’t ya?” He snarled in your face. You grabbed your tits in the cute red bikini and gave them a Lil shake.

> Bo yanked you away from the beach, you protested, hitting his large forearm, “Bo, what the hell? Oh come on, you act like a leech an-” He cut you off, his lips slammed onto yours, the kiss was teeth and a little tongue action.

> Bo had yanked you away to some run-down looking bathrooms, the paint was so old it looked like the original coat from the 1960s

> “Now, Darlin, looks like you’ve just been wanting to rial me up now, huh? Wanting those sons of bitches to fuck you?” He leaned in close to your ear, his heavy breathing making you shake with anticipation. He suckled on it, causing you to buckle at the knees.

> “Bo, no I didn’t wan-want ah, the- them to” You were panting as he made small circles on your clit over your bikini bottoms. His fingers were calloused but he could be surprisingly gentle.

> “Now, yah best be quiet so no one hears ya, understood, Doll?” You whimpered and Bo flashed you his pearly whites. “That’s a good girl.”

> You should make him jealous more often.

[matchamabs]

BOTW SHEIKAH TOWERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE

this is. not a good ranking. but surprisingly there r some very sexy towers so whaddya know 👀

the starting point,,,, the og,,,, the great plateau tower! this tower is a pretty easy climb, tho the whole like... almost killing u and sending rocks flying everywhere n shit is :(( lots of footholds look nice and all the water surrounding it is pretty. not to mention this is the tower u can climb and see ALL of hyrule on so its definitely good 6/10 not the sexiest tower but it has a lot to offer. i believe in it

the fact its on the other side of a huge fuckoff river that i always die trying to swim across makes the dueling peaks tower really piss me off but it looks rlly pretty next to it. still, its like. not a hard climb, but if u fall off ur basically fucked. the nearby bokoblin camp also makes me want to chug bleach so! 4/10 its hard to live up to the great plateau tower and frankly its not doing a good job of it. cringe tower next to the fail river

ok look. its normally not that bad! but i did the hateno tower for the first time whilst i was off my ass on malibu and my god did i have a bad time. the thorns,,, the lack of stamina,,, and im not exactly a tactical player either, so. ruined the tower for me a bit. its very aesthetic sitting up on the hill tho very nice very neat. very majestic. 5/10 thorns are sexy but not when you’re drunk :(

thanks google for giving me only the lowest quality res of lanayru tower. tbh im biased against this tower bc it rains every time i try and climb it so FUCK it. its a good looking tower tho?? its a bit lopsided but i think it gives it character! hey if italy can make it work,,, 6/10 lanayru region has a wat but thats all its got to offer

hm! fuck this tower! okay ignoring literally everything about ridgeland tower, its pretty! the lake surrounding it,,,, its very prim. even the wizzrobes make it look kinda nice. its a sexy tower but thats literally all its got going for it bc climbing it is an atrocious nightmare! 7/10 its like the rlly hot girl at school who has the personality of a tire fire

ill be honest i dont remember much of akkala citadel tower aside from the fact it was guardian central and i only climbed it literally after i beat ganon LMAO. truly its the chad of all towers. but sitting on the very top of the citadel,,,, surrounded by all the nice trees,,, it looks like it rlly belongs there. the malice at the bottom doesnt even look good tho. sorry dude who said this was the sexiest tower- its not :( 7/10 everyone tough until the trees start beeping

u know what i rlly like eldin tower. its kinda cozy lookin in the rock and the volcano in the background is pleasantly menacing. its abt as far as u can go without getting crispy, so its one hot ass tower. its got guts. ambition. its a tower i can respect. 5/10 not perfect but a cute addition. shes doing her best.

now THIS is a sexy tower excuse the poor quality image BUT wow,,,, woodland tower,,, this tower could be on fire and breaking down and it would still look hot. even tho its standing in a monster camp it rlly rocks it. the skull on the top,,,, this tower is the goth of all the towers, especially since its so close to hyrule castle. 8/10 this tower likes 2 accessorize

the hebra tower is VERY pretty,,, the blue rlly matches the snow everywhere so u know the tower has good colour coordination,,,,all the ice at the bottom is also cute. annoying but cute. very prim. its like the tsundere of towers. 9/10 chilly until u get 2 know her,,,

,,,,, well. i like it, at least. all the ruins around it rlly brings out its, uh ... malice. and in fairness they offer a quick way up there so this towers got backup plans for u. it cares for u. tabantha tower may be covered in malice but it makes it look Good. it rocks it. it works. 6/10 you did your best considering the circumstances

gerudo tower,,, its by far one of the sexiest. it just descends into the ground forever. the open space around it. the spiral mountain. the few and far between footholds. kass sitting on top. i like everything about this tower. visually, that is. climbing it is an absolute ballache of a chore. but its worth it,,,, for this tower,,, 9/10 if i could marry a tower,,, i probably wouldnt marry this one. good try tho.

hebra tower is hard to beat but central tower doesnt actually look That bad. the footholds that go all spirally up look rlly nice, and all the ruins around it is tres good. u get to see everything from the centre of hyrule which is rlly nice positioning. the guardians? hm. rlly ruin the atmos. it sits there and looks rlly pretty for when u get off the plateau and then BANG guardian laser. betrayal. i love u,,, but i can never forgive u,,, 6/10  this thing probably has laser marks all over it but hey just think of it as sexy battle scars,,,

hh i dont even remember this one tbh but i think its the lake tower and thats like. in faron. shows how much i care about it. if i remember right it keeps raining when i try and climb this tower so. i have a bias. i think its average tbh. the rainforest around it is SUPER nice until lit everything tries 2 kill u so. its a safe haven in a dangerous forest. it means well. 4/10 sweet but not hot. stop getting me struck by lightning.

this is one windy bitch! the wasteland tower! the footholds r all up at the top which is kind of a look but its surrounded by a swamp which,,, hm. not the sexiest choice. if i was trying to attract someone i probably wouldnt sit in a puddle of shit but u do u boo. 5/10 it looks nice on the top of a mountain but the functionality is dogshit

conclusion: theyre fucking towers idk why i rated these it was hard and i hate everything 

[bigoltrashpile]

“You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later?” Butch/Reader, you can pick the pronouns!

I decided to do a trans ftm reader, since there’s not enough of those.  Plus, I know that there’s at least one ftm person following me, so, Anon that I matched with Scar that one time, this is for you!  Feel free to tell me if this was mean or insensitive in any way, I’ve never written a trans reader before.

This was probably a dumb idea.  You wiggled in the ropes, testing their strength.  They held.  You sighed and let your head flop back onto the pillows.  This had been a good idea in theory, but now that you were tied to the bed frame, alone, in nothing but your underwear in Butch’s room?  It seemed pretty dumb in retrospect.

You had thought that it would be a good idea if you gave Butch a little “surprise” for his birthday after he got home from work.  So, you had awkwardly asked Noir to tie you up on Butch’s bed.  Just remembering his flustered face made you grin.  You were starting to think he’d done too good of a job, since you could barely wiggle.  You could still feel all your fingers and toes, so that was good, but still.  You were booooooored.  And cold.

Finally, after what felt like years, you heard Butch wandering up the stairs to his room.  Your eyelids snapped open from trying to take a nap and looked at the door.  He opened it, seemingly confused about why the lights were on, before his eye lights fell on you.  He paused for a second before smirking hungrily.

“Hey Butch,” you tried to say as sexily as you could.  “See something you like?”

He chuckled.  “i dunno, baby boy, you seem a bit tied up, want me to come back later?”

Your sexy facade immediately disappeared.  “No no no, please don’t go, I’ve been so bored!”

Butch laughed loudly, wiping a fake tear from his eye.  “i’m jus’ kiddin’ doll, i’d never leave such a cute lil thing like you all by yourself,” he purred as he locked the door.  “lookin’ so fuckin’ delicious,” he stalked slowly towards you and you shivered in your bonds, already growing wet.  “no, i’d be a fool to leave you,” he growled as he leaned in, pressing his face into your neck.  He took a deep whiff of your scent and let out a deep, breathy sigh of satisfaction.

“B-Butch,” you whimpered.  He shushed you as he began to kiss your neck, leaving hickeys all along the delicate flesh.  

He chuckled softly.  “this all for me?  for my birthday?” he asked as he nibbled your earlobe.  You nodded dumbly.  “aww, how sweet of ya.  how’d ya get like this though?  kinda hard to tie yourself up...”  You could hear the warning in his voice.  He was a very jealous monster.

“N-Noir tied me up.  I asked him to,” you admitted.

Butch bit down on your shoulder, hard.  A small scream escaped your throat.  “oh baby,” he tutted.  “you know the rules.  nobody’s allowed ta see ya like this ‘cept me.”  He pulled back from your neck, so you could see the slight bit of blood staining his fangs.  “lucky for you, i’m in a good mood, so you won’t be punished as bad,” he told you as he began to move down your body.  You trembled in excitement.

He finally reached the apex of your thighs, and paused.  He ripped off your boxers and you whined.  You’d just bought those!  Butch took a moment to take in the sight of you, naked and tied up on his bed.  His eyes turned to little hearts for a moment.  “so fuckin’ handsome,” he purred, running his sharp claws over your stomach and hips.

He snapped out of his trance and went back to his rough, domineering persona.  “five edges should do it, what do ya think, baby?  five times, and then i’ll let ya cum on my cock.”

You bit your lip and nodded hesitantly.  Being pushed to the edge five times, only to be stopped sounded terrible, but you didn’t really have much choice.  You tested the ropes again.  Still no give.

Butch smirked and leaned down, giving you a long, slow lick along your cunt.  You moaned.  His tongue was always amazing, so big, with unusual bumps on it that drove you crazy.  He began to suck on your clit, holding your hips down so you couldn’t buck into his mouth.

After just a few minutes of this treatment, you felt yourself getting close.  Butch did too, and immediately pulled away, making you groan angrily.  He smirked, watching you writhe helplessly.  “that’s one,” he chuckled, before leaning back in and starting over again.

It didn’t take him long to bring you to the brink four more times, always stopping right as you were about to come undone.  Each time, you would glare at him with teary, pleasured eyes.  He would just laugh or smirk, before starting again, plunging his fingers in your hole and drawing patterns with his tongue.

Finally, after the fifth time, he pulled away and began to take his pants off.  You practically drooled as his cock sprung free.  You needed it inside you so bad.  You bucked your hips as incentive and Butch chuckled.  “aww, such a needy boy,” he purred.  “alright, i’ll give ya what ya want.”  And with that, he plunged inside of you in one thrust.

You threw your head back, screaming at the unexpected stretch.  The burn was absolutely delicious!  Butch moaned loudly, breath shuddering.  You could feel his cock twitching inside you, reveling at the feeling of your tight walls.  “fuck...always feel so good,” he purred, letting you adjust to the feel of him.

“Ah!  So thick, Butch, you stretch me out so nice!” you mewled.  He moaned softly, leaning in to kiss you, unexpectedly gentle.

“fuck, i love ya so much, Y/N,” he sighed.

“I love you too, Sans,” you whispered.  That was seemingly enough time to wait, and Butch began to pound into you.  Your back arched like a bow pulled taut, and you tried once again to pull out of the ropes, if only to touch him.  Butch noticed, and reveled at the feeling of power.

“uh uh, you ain’t getting out ‘til i say so,” he teased, slowing down just a fraction, before he grabbed your hips and moved them where he wanted them.  He pistoned into you with abandon, and this new angle had you seeing stars.  You felt your throat getting hoarse, and you faintly registered that you were screaming.

Butch reached down and began to rub your clit in little circles, just as he rammed into your g-spot, and that was all you needed to come undone.  Your muscles tensed and released euphorically, and feeling you get that much tighter, Butch came too, rutting his hips inside you with no pace.  You reveled at the feeling of his seed inside you, spilling out around his cock.

When you regained your senses, Butch was untying you, gently rubbing feeling back into your sore muscles.  You hummed thankfully, using your newly freed arms to pull him close and kiss him.  “Happy birthday, Butch,” you sighed.

He smiled at you softly.  “that was amazin’, thanks for the surprise.”  He winked at you.  You scoffed and hit him gently on the arm.

When you were untied, you expected Butch to take you to the shower, or roll over and cuddle you, but instead, you were flipped onto your hands and knees, ass in the air.

“aw, did ya think we were done?” he teased.  “oh baby, we’re just gettin’ started.”

[myownpersonaldemons]

*breathes in* goth reader (who is lowkey a e girl and looks like she could’ve been in the underground the whole time) meets uf grillby. Go crazy with this one darling like go fuck wild with the prompt. Go apeshit. :)

So, I’m an old lady, and I had to figure out what an e-girl was because yo, I had no idea. I’ve heard it before but never actually understood what it meant. So it took a bit before I actually could write this because I had to do *adjusts glasses* research.

By research, I meant googling it and still being confused so I asked my tumblr followers and someone explained it so I accepted that term as the One.

Anyways! Prompt away! Goth(lowkey e-girl) Reader meeting UF!Grillbz.

Heads up, there is some mature themes to this. As in, Reader works at a sex shop. So, be aware. (because you said go wild I was like ‘what’s a wild way to meet someone for the first time? a sex shop. yes perfect got it let’s go.’)

You hummed softly as you scrolled through the comments on your newest Instagram post. You’d started doing OOTD’s because a couple people who followed you on other social media websites begged you too.Though, you had to admit that a lot of the comments were validating as fuck. A couple of people asked where you got specific pieces of clothing, so you answered honestly.

Honestly, once you saw the goth aesthetic you were all over it…and when e-girl aesthetic became a thing you were all over that as well. There was just something about it that felt…right. You looked great, and you didn’t mind people staring at you as much as you might’ve at one point.

Plus, ever since the monsters came to the surface,  there was an explosion of alt-clothing available everywhere and it was beautiful. You could actually find new pieces at your local clothing stores instead of needing to order online and pay the hefty shipping fees.

The bell on the door rang and you locked your phone and tucked it back into your pocket. As you glanced up you saw two masculine looking monsters, but honestly with them you knew to never assume anything.You tried not to assume, especially at your place of work, anything aboutanyone who walked in through the doors. So, you merely smiled, “Hey! Welcome, if you need any help gimme a shout!”

The skeletal monster shrank in his hoodie, making a ‘tch’ sound and proceeded to stare directly at the ground. On the other hand, the monster made entirely of purple flame tilted his head down slightly so you could see his bright white eyes which he winked at you.

You merely kept your smile on because honestly? You were way too used to people flirting with you randomly when they came in.

The two headed off deeper into the store and you waited a bit before moving from behind the counter to start organizing some merchandise.

“tch…no fuckin’ way,” the skeleton’s voice reached your ears as started to front end face all the boxes along the far wall closer to the two monsters. “look, m’tellin’ ya stockings are way fuckin’ hotter than thigh highs.”

“You drink mustard for a beverage, Sans…I do not think your ‘tastes’ are considered viable in anyway,” the fire monster replied back coolly. The skeleton monster, Sans, made a disgruntled noise. “Thigh highs are far superior, and are less likely to tear and be ruined. Quality is sexy.”

Another noise, “what th’ fuck? quality? sorry, forgot your stupid rich ass is into bullshit like ‘cashmere and silk.’” You could hear the distain in the skeletons voice that almost made you snort in response. Instead, you kept your opinions and thoughts to yourself as you continued to hear them banter back and forth. Sans was still avoiding looking at anything while the other perused the merchandise casually.

A purple firey hand picked up one of the boxes near you and began to examine it closely.

“uh, s’cuse me,” Sans said, and it took you a second to realize he was talking to you, but once you did you quickly apologized and asked him if there was something you could help him with. “what d’ya think? stockings or thigh highs?”

You paused, confused as to why you were being asked that. However, when you shifted your weight you were reminded that you were wearing stockings. Ah, was he trying to get you to agree with him? You tilted your head in thought, did you agree with him? Potentially…but you sawstockings as more ‘traditionally sexy’.

“Thigh highs,” you said finally, “because if the girl is wearing a skirt you can see that little strip of thigh between the thigh high and the skirt and that's hot.”

The fire monster, whom you still didn’t know the name of, gestured at you with a dildo. “See, Sans? A woman of culture. Unlike you.”

Working at a sex shop was never a tiresome endeavour, especially when customers use a dildo to emphasize a point before they realized they were in fact holding a phallus shaped object.

Sans tsked, “then why aren’t cha wearing thigh highs insteada stockings?”

You glanced down at your stockings. They were just basic fishnet stockings beneath a black skirt. You returned your gaze to Sans and then shrugged, “cus I thought I looked cute like this today. But, anyways, enough about me!” you waved your hands, “What brings you two in for? Anything I can help you out with?”

The fire monster was already looking at a different dildo, examining it curiously. Sans on the other hand shrank into his hoodie, glaring over at the fire monster. “tch, this asshole’s lookin’ for some shit.”

“You could get something for yourself too,” the fire monster pointed out, placing the dildo back down to pick up a bigger vibrator.

“I can make some suggestions if you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom together,” you said, and the reaction was instant. The fire monster recoiled visably, and Sans started sputtering, eye sockets wide.

“i!!! ain’t with this asshole!” he said, his accented voice becoming thicker as he took a few steps away from his companion.

“He is my ride here, nothing more,” the fire monster said quickly.

“y-yeah!” Sans added. The two began to insist that they really weren’t together, not letting you get a word in edge wise to apologize for the confusion. You hadn’t meant together as in they were together but just together as in friends shopping together. Of course, you listened in amusement as they basically listed off all the reasons why they totally couldn’t be together to you before falling silent. You basically got to listen to two people roast each other for thirty minutes, progressively finding stupider reasons about why they wouldn’t work together.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume,” you settled for and Grillby, whom you finally figured out his name during their attempt to prove that they weren’t together, nodded stiffly before turning and front end facing a few boxes that you hadn’t gotten to yet. He picked up one of the larger dildos that your store carried and you added, “We also have some beginner ones-“

He gave you a dry look, “I’m not a beginner, I’ve had bigger.”

“didn’t need to know that,” Sans grumbled, covering his face with a hand, “look, grillbz, imma wait for ya outside. this is too fuckin’ weird.”

He strode towards the door quickly, and with a light dingle of the bell was gone. The moment the door shut completely, Grillby placed the dildo back on the shelf. “I’m here only because he spilt mustard on my favourite white shirt. I apologize for taking up your time, though I must admit, I’m glad that such a lovely woman as you is the one working. I haven’t seen many humans dressing like you.”

You would blush but you had stopped taking anyone’s flirts seriously while on shift.  “It’s kind of a niche look for humans,” you admitted, subconsciously tugging at the sleeves of your shirt. “To be honest,it was incredibly hard to find this sort of stuff until Monsters got to thesurface. You all look so awesome, how do you even find this sort of stuff?”

He gave you a thoughtful look at that, “I know a spider who custom makes clothing. A lot of monsters make their own clothing…for obvious reasons. Though…if I am honest, I thought you would have known that by now.”

You rose an eyebrow, “Uh…why?”

That made him pause, then he gestured to your neck, “You have a collar.”

It took a few seconds before it hit you.Oh! Your neighbour explained that monsters wore collars for different purposes. You were wearing a black leather choker with a silver heart on it. “Oh! Uh…no, this is a choker…it’s a fashion thing for humans. There’s no one…I’m not with anyone like that,” you quickly said, hoping you weren’t offending him.

“A woman of your quality and beauty? I’m fucking amazed you don’t have a plethora of people begging to be with you,” he said, eyes slowly raking over your body. “But again, I apologize for taking up your time.”

That compliment did manage to have your cheeks heat up.

“You’re my first customer in thirty minutes,” you admitted with a shrug instead, “Though if you are looking for something I can help you.”

He was silent for a moment before nodding, “I was actually curious about the body safe wax candles?”

“Oh! Those are my favourite, we got some new ones in,” you said happily, leading him over. You spent the next thirty minutes talking to him about the safety and precautions while using the candles, how to use them. It then dissolved into talking about different objects around the store that he was curious about, and he actually ended up purchasing a good amount of products.

He paused before he left and then pulled out a business card and slid it across the counter towards you. It said ‘Grillby’s Bar’ in swirling purple font, along with an address and times on it. 

“If you ever swing by for a drink, I’ll be sure to be as gracious as a host to you as you’ve been to me today,” he said, voice dripping with as much swagger and confidence as someone who had bought a giant purple dragon dildo should have. He said it was to freak out Sans, but when you told him that dildos weren’t returnable (for obvious reasons), he said that he wouldn’t need to.

You raised your eyebrow at him, “You own a bar?”

Grillby smirked, “Best one in town if you ask me.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Says the owner.”

He chuckled before looking at you over his sunglasses, “I have excellent taste, after all.”

“That you do,” you replied, dropping your gaze to his bag, teasingly, “I hope you enjoy yourself!”

Grillby winked at you, “Oh, I will. Though, if you swing by my bar after your finished work tonight, I think my night would be just about made.”

“I’ll think about it,” you replied quickly, and he sauntered out with a wave.

You rolled your eyes but grinned. Maybe you would stop by his bar tonight.

Maybe…you’d switch your stockings for thigh highs.

[sirius-archive]

Who is your fave oc? Tell me about them

oooh man so this is super hard as I love all my oc’s, even the bad ones (lookin at you Julius and Gabriel) but!!! I guess I’m super attached to the Cowan twins.

Lemme tell you a bit about Lukas and Thea Cowan:

- they’re vampires

- wait, hear me out before you roll your eyes and scroll past my babies

- they’re not the brooding, manipulative, or have that I’m-dark-sexy-and-mysterious vibe that we read or see in books/tv shows adored by teeny boppers and lonely mums

- (no judgement here)

- they’re actually really,,,cute?!?

-but before I get into their characters, here’s a bit of backstory

-they were kidnaped as babies from their pureblood parents by Dominic Cowan, a vampire who was trying to appease his wife, Ophelia.

-he ‘turned’ them into vampires as babies and the couple raised them as their own.

-thea and luke did eventually meet their real parents, but their parents called them ‘monsters’ so…yeah touchy subject.

-okay, now onto thea and luke

- lukey is really awkward ?? Like hes the ‘funny guy’ and he cracks jokes when he’s nervous or uncomfortable which is pretty much all the time.

- he is super shy at first, but once you get to know him he gets super loud and sometimes you have to clamp a hand over his mouth just so you can hear yourself think because really luke? It’s 9 in the morning and you’re literally shouting at me.

-he also has a slight stutter and is a very talented musician. Seriously, that kid has talent.

- he is a huge animal lover, which is #awkward for any vampire but hey, it’s luke, he’s pretty much the epitome of all things awkward.

- thea is super organised, competitive and a clean freak but she isn’t uptight. She knows how to throw a party and boy does she go all out with her parties.

- but because they’re vampires, they don’t get invited out often

- :(

- :’(

-so they throw parties anonymously and become notorious around the campus, even though no one knows who the hosts are…kinda like masked heroes except for stressed uni students. Lol.

- in my story, all vampires are blind (like bats, always a pun intended) but they can see/ smell/ hear blood gushing through people’s bodies.

-so basically, to give you a little insight on what they ‘see’, all they can make out is human-shaped blood circulation system and the veins glow red but that’s it

-thea and luke, however, can see but only because thea is a smartass and invented special glasses that gives them sight

-they still have a high sensitivity to light, though, so they’re always wearing sunnies like cool kids

-also, thea is thicc and smol while lukas is tol and lanky. so, obviously, they’re not members of the ‘tall and gaunt vampires club’

-lukas is super uncoordinated and he can’t dance because he’s super clumsy

-but thea is very graceful and she would’ve made a good dancer if she didn’t want to be an inventor so badly

-thea probably would’ve been sorted into Slytherin if she attended Hogwarts because that girl has ambition like you wouldn’t believe

-she’s also like,,,,super resourceful???

-and her determination means that she likes to stick to things and she won’t - for the love of merlin and that dumbass beard- give up anything. She gonna finish that project if it’s the last thing she does

-meanwhile

-while I’d like to say that lukas is a hufflepuff, luke is more of a gryffindor. Let’s face it, it takes courage to crawl out of your comfort zone and thrust yourself into the world, even though your an emotional wreck and super nervous/anxious 66669% of the time

-he still puts on a brave face and will put up a fight, even if he knows he ain’t gonna win.

-but none of that matter because they both went to Durmstrang

-anyway that’s the cowan twins

Other honourable mentions include:

- Abigail ‘Juniper’ Bishop, the fierce, flower-crowned queen of hufflepuff - Noah Underwood, the soft and tired loner also a hufflepuff - Aaaaaand Julius King, the sad ghost who acts all mean and tough but would literally crie if you called him a dumb bum.

[rfsak2]

Cactus, Part X

I hope you like this next installment guys! Also I’m so freakin’ obsessed with the Paolo Sebastian SS Couture collection. Couldn’t help myself!

Also to be clear. I have nothing against Taylor Swift and made an effort to be fair in this rendition of her. I hope no one is offended!

Cactus, Part X Summary: Permanence Harry/Jamie Warnings: None!

“I’m goin’ to get another drink, love. D’ye want another?”

“Just water, I think.”

She ran a hand over the gunmetal grey jacquard of his smoking jacket. He looked good tonight, not that it was unusual, but there was just something about a man in evening wear. Though he had stubbornly refused to wear a tie, to the absolute consternation of Gucci’s atelier, opting for a black silk shirt open underneath the jacket.

“It’s black tie, Mr. Styles!”

He looked good and worse, he knew it. He pressed a soft kiss to her rouged lips, careful not to smudge. “Can y’spare me a second, monster? Or should I find us somewhere more private?”

She grinned and pinched him. “Cheeky.”

He fluffed her embroidered tulle skirt. “You look like a princess.”

She twisted her hips and her skirt swished about her calves like a dream. “I feel like one.”

Kissing her cheek, he grinned and took a couple backward steps. “Be right back.”

“Don’t be long. I only agreed to spare you a second.”

He winked. “Yeh keep lookin’ at me like tha’, love, and we’re gonna miss a good party.”

She smiled innocently, enjoying watching his eyes drift down to her lips. She blew him a kiss. “Hurry.”

He rushed off, glancing back at her and running his fingers over his bottom lip as he reached the bar.

She waved, before looking down and adjusting the sleeves of her dress. She really did feel like a princess, but the kind of princess that Harry hadn’t taken his eyes off all night. The corset pressed her breasts up against the neckline of the dress, in a way that harkened to barmaids and tavern wenches, but the sheer chiffon that covered her shoulders and arms made her feel demure, almost modest and definitely not over-exposed. Paolo Sebastian’s atelier had said that the sheer fabric over her tattoos made a sweet dress look coy and sexy.

She felt that.

“You look very pretty.”

Jamie jumped, but didn’t need to look to know who was speaking to her. Her eyes skipped to where Harry was now frowning, eyes worried.

She smiled and mouthed ‘it’s fine,’ waving her hand in a half-hearted wave. She took a deep breath and turned to the tall, statuesque woman at her side. “Thank you. You wear red really well. You look beautiful.”

Taylor smiled, an awkward little twist of the lips that made her feel instantly more comfortable. She nodded. “Thanks. He.. uh, he looks happy.”

Jamie hummed and smiled through the crowd at Harry, whose eyes were trained on the two women. “Yeah, he does.”

“I heard you’re a guitarist?” Taylor drummed her thumbs on her clutch. “That you worked on his album?”

She nodded, vaguely wary, she wouldn’t judge someone that she didn’t know but it didn’t do to navigate a minefield with her eyes closed. “Yes. That’s how we met.”

“The album is fantastic. Good work.”

“Thanks.” Jamie smiled. “Thank you. He worked really hard,” she glanced back at Harry and saw him moving toward them. “He’ll be pleased to know you liked it.”

“I’ve heard you’re one of Columbia’s hidden talents.”

Jamie chuckled. “Not so hidden anymore, I guess… Thank you for that though.”

“The paparazzi have been rough, yeah?”

Jamie nodded. “I expected it but still…”

“It doesn’t get any easier.”

The taller woman was eyeing her with something close to pity and Jamie sighed. “No I don’t expect it will… but he’s worth it.”

Taylor smiled. “You love him.”

“So much.” Jamie found Harry in the crowd.

It got quiet and Jamie sighed… what next? “I quite liked the feel of your album. It’s edgier.” Probably shouldn’t have been that. Shit.

Taylor snorted. “Did you really?”

Jamie shuffled, uncomfortable. “Yes. I did.”

“You didn’t mind that one of my songs is supposed to be about your boyfriend… or that one of his songs is supposed to be about me?” Taylor trained hard eyes on her but Jamie could swear she saw vulnerability there as well.

She shrugged. “I don’t listen to rumors… or pick apart other people’s music. I’ve worked in the industry too long to take anything at face value. Especially if I wasn’t involved in the situation.”

“He’s never talked about me?”

Jamie sighed. “We’ve talked about it, of course we have.”

“And you don’t hate me?” Taylor stared her down. “Wouldn’t blame you.”

“I don’t hate anyone.” Shrugging, she looked down at her clutch. “Look I won’t lie and tell you that I approve or agree to everything you’ve ever done, not that you need or want my approval anyways…” 

She sighed. “But I love Harry… so much. I don’t like seeing him hurt. So yeah some of it bothers me. But what bothers me is what I’ve heard from Harry’s mouth, what he has told me. I trust that and it bothers me because I know that it bothered him. I don’t care what the media says one way or another. I try to take people on their own merits.”

“That’s good of you.”

Harry was getting closer and Jamie wasn’t sure if that last statement was sarcastic or not. She fidgeted. “Thanks?”

“He looks really worried.”

Jamie nodded and opted for silence, smiling at Harry as he pushed through the last little group of people in his way. He looked between the two of them and then his eyes caught hers, silently asking if she was okay.

She nodded slightly and accepted her water from him.

“Taylor.” His now free hand cupped her waist, his thumb rubbing soothingly at the chiffon-covered skin just above her corset. “How are yeh?”

Taylor smiled. “I’m fine. Thank you. You?”

Harry nodded. “Good.. Good.”

Taylor’s thumbs tapped on her clutch again. “Your album was fantastic.”

He smiled. “Thanks. Your’s as well.”

“Thanks.” She smiled awkwardly. “I’ve been talking with your girl here. She’s quite smitten with you.”

Harry made a face. “A year and a half almost and all I get is smitten?”

Jamie chuckled. “Well you do hog the bed.”

Kissing her forehead, he pulled her yet closer. “Always tellin’ all my secrets.”

Taylor sighed. “So I’m gonna go… I have some people to talk to.”

“It was nice to meet you.” Jamie extended her hand.

“You’re very sweet. It was nice to meet you as well.” Taylor chuckled and shook Jamie’s hand almost ironically. “She really is perfect for you, H.”

Harry smiled. “I’m aware.”

When Taylor had left, Jamie turned to Harry and breathed deep. “I feel like I just ran a marathon. Hell.”

“Yeh did well though, monster.” He smiled down at her. “Was she rude or anything?”

Jaime shrugged. “I don’t think she was trying to be mean or anything. I think she wanted to know if you were angry… over the album.”

He nodded. “What did you tell her?” 

“That I didn’t believe rumors.” Jamie shrugged. “It’s whatever, I guess.”

Harry pulled her in closer and laid a kiss on her cheek. “The Dunkirk boys are over there. They want to meet you.”

She nodded. “Lead the way, mi corazón.”

He led her to a small group of boys around their age and held his arms out to them. “Boys!”

The group of men turned and each one smiled. “Harry!”

A tall blonde man drew him into a hug and then stuck his hand out to her. “‘Ello, ye must be th’lass he was texting all the bloody time. Jack Lowden. This is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell lies, mate.”

“He isn’t. You did text me all the time and then you’d call at the weirdest times. ‘Hey… just wanted to make sure yeh were still thinkin’ about Jamaica.’ ‘Hey… what are yer opinions on platypi?’ ‘Hey… Yeh liked my photo on instagram… I know yer awake.’ Don’t worry though… it was cute.”

Harry pouted at her and she stuck her tongue out at him, before shaking Jack’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Traitor.”

**

So I want a new tattoo, Freddy...

Yeah? What do you want?

A lantern… like a super traditional one.

That I can do. Color? Don’t answer that… stupid question. :P

I wish there was a middle finger emoji

Well, then. Fuck right off and find a new tattoo artist

Love ya, Frederico! Eres mi favorito hermano. Te amo más.

Yeah.. yeah. Kiss my ass some other time. Where is this lantern going?

Right forearm. Inside.

All of your forearm?

Sure why the hell not?

That’s sound tattoo logic there…

:P Also one last thing…

Yep?

…

Tell me if this is weird or not…

Spill it, chiquita.

I want Harry’s initials in there somewhere.

First, middle and last? What’s his middle name?

Uh… yes. Edward.

This isn’t weird?

Like I’m not rushing it?

…

Freddy!!

I need some fuckin’ reassurance, big bro!

Jesucristo. Calm down and give me a second to reply.

Okay

If you’re worried. Then don’t get it. That’s the rule.

Right

HOWEVER… you’ve been with the kid for a year plus now?

A year and eight months…

…

But who’s countin’ amiright?

You are going to marry that kid. I hope you see that.

And I hope you see that he’s as serious about this as you are.

You told me once that you were all-in from that first all night conversation. Has that changed?

Of course not.

Then stop stressing about it. I knew Angus was the one like five minutes into the first conversation. When you know you know.

You’re right.

I know. So no, none of this is weird, none of this is too fast. You live with the kid and you love him. 

Also you survived touring with him for what ten months? If something what going to happen, if you were going to find out something that would change your mind, it would’ve happened then. 

This is normal.

Okay.

You still want to get it?

Definitely.

You coming to SA soon then?

In early August. Harry and I will be spending about a week after tour.

Okay. I’ll start working on designs then I’ll dig around and see if I still have that tracing of your forearm from when we did your sleeve.

Perfect. Thanks. I love you.

Love you too, princess.

**

“Hey kid. What’s up?”

Harry ran a nervous hand through his hair and took a deep breath. “Hey… I was hoping you would have time-”

“Kid, you’re part of the family now. You don’t have to be nervous to talk to me. I’m not Leo. I don’t plan on threatening you for shits and giggles. Now what’s up?”

He smiled. This is why Freddy was his favorite. “We’re goin’ t’be in town in August. I was wondering if I could get a tattoo then.”

“Yeah! I could definitely do that, bro. What’re you thinkin’?”

Harry swallowed. “An…” Deep Breath. “An angel.”

There was a pause on the other side of the line and then a noise like a muffled chuckle. “Sorry, coughed. Do you mind me asking why? Just for my own personal gratification?”

Harry squirmed. “I’m sure that yeh know that-”

“That you wrote a song about my sister being a devil in the sheets… Yeah I know that.” There was another muffled ‘cough’. “Sorry, bro. Somethin’ stuck in my teeth.”

Harry let his head hang loose. “Yes, tha’.”

“Relax, kid. It’s fine. I don’t think my sister is a virgin. It’s fine. Though we haven’t let my dad listen to it… You’re still his hero for writing a song called ‘Only Angel’ for his princess. I think he’s convinced it’s a ballad. Mom’s heard it… she laughed. I think she likes it.”

“That’s good. I don’t wan’ yer dad te hate me.”

“He wouldn’t hate you, bro. Just be very confused.” Freddy laughed. “I’m pretty sure that if you ever get her pregnant, Dad will assume it was immaculate conception.”

Harry laughed. “That’s good.”

“So an angel for my sister. I’m guessing black and grey?”

“Yeah. Traditional as far as artwork goes.”

“Traditional is my forte, no worries there. Where at?”

“Inside of my right bicep.”

“Sounds good. We’ll see you guys at the Dallas show. I’ll get a tracing then yeah? I’ll send you some artwork.”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” Harry smiled. “See yeh then. Who all is comin’?”

“Mom, Dad, and all of the brothers and spouses.I think it’s gonna be a bit of a date night. Dante’s said he’s gonna bring a girl too.”

“Very cool. I’ll sort out backstage passes.”

“That’d be great. Thanks, bro. Talk to ya later? My next client is in.”

“Yeah. Talk to yeh later. Thanks again.”

**

She’d been gone when he returned to her parents’ house, arm held out so the raw skin didn’t touch his shirt. He frowned at Dante, sat on the couch watching soaps.

“Where’s Jamie?”

He shrugged, taking another bite of cereal. “Went out just a bit ago. Took my car. You probably passed her on the road.”

Harry nodded and sat on the couch next to him. Dante grabbed the remote and fast-forwarded through the commercials. “What’ve you been up to?” He glanced at Harry, who winced, trying to get comfortable and settled for just lifting his arm over his head.

Dante grinned at the paper towel taped to his bicep. “New tattoo?”

Harry chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Went to Freddy?”

“‘Course.”

Dante smirked. “What did y’get?”

Harry shifted. “An angel.”

Dante grinned widely. “You got tattooed for my sister.”

Harry blushed and nodded, Dante looked at the TV. “Good. I like knowing that you’re serious about her, bro. You’re good for her and the family loves you.”

Harry smiled.

“Does she know?”

Harry shook his head. “Nope.”

Dante chuckled. “That’s why you’re so nervous. Don’t worry, she’ll like it.”

Three hours and only a handful of texts later and Harry was legitimately starting to worry.

He had assumed that she’d gone for a bit of shopping, so he’d sent a text.

Where did you go, love?

Sorry, baby. My hands are too small to text with one hand. :P I’m at an appointment. Talk to you later. Love you!

An appointment? An appointment for what? And why did she only have one hand?

The alarm system chirped and the front door opened.

“I’m home.” He could hear her set Dante’s keys on the table in the foyer. “It’s fuckin’ roastin’ out there.”

She rounded the corner into the living room, smiling, one arm around her back. She perched herself on the arm of the couch next to Harry, folding her hands in her lap. “What ha-”

Harry’s eyes were on her paper-towel-wrapped forearm. “You were getting a new tattoo. That makes sense.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yep.”

Dante suddenly threw his head back and laughed. “You two are truly a matched set, aren’t you?”

Jamie made a face. “What?”

Harry blushed and lifted his arm, revealing the very fresh, recently washed tattoo. She gasped and slid into his lap, gently pulling the sleeve of his t-shirt up. “That’s what you were doing this morning!” She studied the angel, fingers just barely not touching the still sensitive skin and smiled.

He nodded.

She looked at him, eyes maybe a little watery. “Baby, it’s an angel… for me?”

He smiled. “Yeah it is.”

She leaned forward and kissed him. Dante made a gagging noise. “I’m going for a run if you’re doing this here.”

She pulled away from Harry. “Bye, hermano querido.”

Dante flicked her off. “Bye, lovebirds.”

He smiled at her. “So you like it, then?”

“I love it.”

He pointed at her arm, pinned awkwardly between them. “Can I see?”

“Don’t tell Freddy I pulled the bandage off early.” She smiled and pulled gingerly at the tape, revealing the lantern in brilliant color etched forever into her skin. The removal of the last bit of tape revealed the small banner at the bottom of the tattoo.

HES

He grinned and kissed her. “For me huh?”

She nodded. “We really are a matched set.”

“Why a lantern, love?”

She grinned. “Baby, you light up my world like nobody else.”

Part IX Up Next: Part XI

[tumblunni]

Also it still makes me Super Sad to know they were at one point considering giving Viera a similar remake to the Mithra and having them be a both genders race with like.. actual normal people and it being the player’s choice if you wanted to wear sexy armour or not. Seriously i hate ‘they are sexy race’ as a concept for a ‘culture’, it’s like finding the planet of everyone has the same job in some star wars thing, except the creepy version...

Tho also these more ‘sexy race’ designs for them still work MILES better than FF12 when they have sexualized dudes too! Apparantly this concept evolved into (ugh) the Au’Ra, so you can kinda see here how they decided to go ‘nah, extra buff power fantasy dudes and even more over the top fanservice women that also look 12′ instead of like.. fanservice kind of muscly man, at least... :( srsly he looks like that sexy armour guy they censored in that spinoff game or that sexy armour they censored for Ringabel yet nobody seemed to care and instead whined about 1 singular additional belt being added on the sexy costume for girls T_T why do the worst of the worst internet douchebros always throw a fit at the slightest bit of equal ass for all??

wow this ended up going into a big ol lol image heavy post so lets have a cut!

also this sexualized lady armour at least has a different and visually interesting design, and they were thinking of more hairstyles too! like the FF12 viera were even more bad for how they all looked like the same person in 1-3 minor variants of the same xenomorph lookin metal thong atrocity. (and like.. one robe model for npcs that somehow managed to still sexualize a robe?? wtf?? leav whit mag alon)

Another beta viera design that just appeals to me a lot, somehow! I think its the interesting idea of having a fully furred head and then just a quiff of human hair on the top, it feels more like an actual animal man instead of a human in cosplay. Same for the idea of them having big black cute button eyes!

Also look at these other really cool designs for different beast races, even stuff thats not based on anything we’ve ever seen before It’s hard to believe that the Au’ra were even conceived as a ‘beast race’ concept, like holy fuck it should be illegal to throw out 47 Actual Designs and just go with Human Again But More Fanservice...

also they made this april fools thing as a fake Au’Ra reveal and like... it doesnt say much good about your designers when this could legit pass as real like the joke here is apaprantly just that Sexy Bangaa looks ugly, not that having a race with a monsterish man and a sexy lady is a dumb idea, cos they just went ahead and did it anyway...

the au’ra concept art shows pretty much EXACTLY the same ‘sexy bangaa’ principle and I’m glad they at least fuckin toned it down to the man having AN ACTUAL HUMAN FACE, even if its also a lazy fuckin design change. i’d be so fuckin mad if we got a legit cool only-nonhumanoid-race-in-the-game and it was men only!

also like Wow, I am actually getting excited about just the same super tiny demure unfitting lady to a massive man except Less Sexualized And More Magical/Ethereal ...unless that isnt meant to be a dragon familiar but actually another design for the men or something, that’d be going WAY too far! XD

Hello Welcome To Bottom Of The Barrel With Bunni, wouldnt it have been nice if the weird succubus-y ladies like.. looked in their 20s or something i am actually advocating for big fanservice titties cos it would be 99% less disturbing than the same damn camera angles on a ‘childish’ design... also seriously 99% normal fanservice lady with bigass actual monster horns on top would be better than same thing sans the horns

oh sorry they do have ‘horns’ but they look like fuckin this

and i fuckin can’t even.. i jsut fuckin... they don’t even let us have THE MOST BASIC TINY BEASTIE THINGS! why does it bug me so much that male au ra get to have black schelera along with the black horns like even this super minimal actual dragon trait isn’t allowed?? even when removing it makes no sense?? even when its supposed to be a nationality indicator in-universe cos you put a really nice amount of worldbuilding into each ‘race’ having actually two races of sun and moon based designs. which are EXACTLY THE FUCKIN SAME FOR FEMALE AU’RA, seriously why not just make horn colour an option in the editor then... actually is this a thing that has ever existed in any real world country, is there a place where men have [visual trait] and women don’t? I mean aside from like.. cultural or religious outfits, where only one gender’s is different to the west but its not like the west is default anyway lol. But seriously imagine EYE COLOUR! Imagine if blue eyes only happened to american men and like.. american women couldn’t have blonde hair and all looked identical to.. I dunno.. west indian women. Just a whole country where dudes have all the abstract concept of ‘race’ and the women don’t. That’s how nonsense it seems when you make a fantasy species where only the women look human!

tho also i’m still pissed off too that the human nationality thing actually comes with a different body build (FOR DUDES AT LEAST) and different hairstyles and starting outfit, instead of only a colour change. it stands out a lot that they only did this for their first attempt at the concept. also it makes male au-ra make even less sense cos you can already have a muscle human and an even more muscle human who has a dumb ogre face and also elf men are muscular somehow and you kinda only have miquote if you wanna be a skinny dude.. or even just an average dude...

also it kinda sucks that you can’t turn off or choose anything about the weirdly complicated scale patterns on their neck and upper arms only. like why is that even there except to be like ‘hey we did the bare minimum to be considered a dragon’...

ALSO LIKE EVEN MORE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL I would have STILL been happier if we got this fuckin terrible fanservice lady design but she at least had ears and claws as well as we-say-its-horns-but-it-looks-like-cute-hair-decs. like seriously throw me a fuckin bone here, give them SOMETHING to justify the ‘beast race’ category... also did i mention that its really fuckin stupid how they did the worldbuilding too? these guys are meant to be nomads and warriors yet the women look like this. its just.. never explained. its just that all the Lore applies to the dudes and the women are just for ~cyooooot anime girl who does the stubborn kiddy pose with her tits hanging out~ (SERIOUSLY THEIR ANIMATION SET IS REALLY CHILDLIKE AND ITS SO CREEPY! theyre like the sex appeal of miquote with the lalafell animations...)

seriously holy shit looking at this pic makes them it look like dads taking their daughters to soccer practise like seriously fuckin christ

and ALSO on top of fuckin everything else we get to see they even had designs for the same creepy loli fanservice ladies but if they had Some Sort Of Actual Unique Features and Cool Aesthetic Choice like wtf you even abanded like 40 cool horn designs and just gave them plain gross triangles in only one of two colour choices... T_T also like.. that loli lady at least gets to wear an actual gothic lolita fashion style, and i love the aesthetic of armor plates hanging as accessories on a non armour outfit. Do they jingle like windchimes? or does this mean Au’ra were meant to be fully scaled below the neck, so this kinda IS a skimpy outfit but you cant tell? XD

Also l kinda like this aesthetic of this other equally lame and super humanoid design with overly sexualized females. Like i dunno if this is just shading but if they actually had this colourscheme it would be super distinctive! And it reminds me of amarant’s trance form, The Amazing Battle Banana Hammock. Even if it also suffers from the same problem of technically showing a man in a skimpy costume but like his design is supposed to be monsterous and badass instead so it still doesnt deliver the same as the female equivelant. The top left version could kinda be a fanservice guy but like.. only if he was naked like that? like drawing someone in a style that’s supermodel body shape and has giant boob outlines and super sexualized poses and doesn’t look monsterous despite being a monster and ET CETERA, that’s what we mean about a character design being sexualized rather than just sexy. If you put some pants to cover this guy’s impressive bulge then he’d just be another scary boss guy. I mean Ifrit is a nearly naked guy with horns in every damn game but he’s very VERY rarely sexualized! The FFXV version is like the first damn time, except when we had a female version of him. It sucks cos ifreeta has a pretty damn cool design but still its really weird how she’s so much more humanoid and has attention drawn to her having boobs in a way they never did with ifrit’s constantly-on-display pecs and loincloth... Man why is it so hard to explain these weird nuances of how people draw ‘topless monster’ characters like this? its like they go out of their way to try and backpedal on the fact they made a topless guy. he can show more skin but its supposed to be less appealing by the artist, thus its less offensive cos it isnt boxing a character into this one sexualized role while the plot says ‘no, they’re a monster, honest!’ YKNOW?? god am i making ANY sense here? XD

nakey man, not meant to be arousing to audience

nakey lady, suddenly just because she’s ‘the lady version’ she looks like this

the same nakey man, redesigned, this time indeed meant to be just as sexy

and like it sucks that there aren’t many good examples of nakey ladies who ARENT meant to be arousing in this series cos I mean that lady ifrit design is so much more sexualized despite being in a chibi art style game for kids?? this was really not the right time or place!

Also it sucks that ‘is nakey’ is a common trait of monster man characters, because well there’s been an established history of dudes being topless and you’re not meant to be aroused. So then whenever they try and make ‘monster man race’ they go for a topless dude and are like ‘then the woman needs to be topless too!’ except the only way they can draw them is sexy??? except its like a false premise to begin with, you can totally make a beast race that isn’t topless, you guys! or even a beast race that isn’t buff, so you don’t need to be all ‘what’s the female equivelant of buff? oh yeah, sexy!’. or, yknow, just draw a buff woman. it could work... or like just have neither and make a beast creature that’s supposed to be cute or mysterious or comical or whatever.

completely random moment of interjection to say that nu mou are pretty neat

Actually, FFTA’s version of the ivalice races was pretty good about this, aside from the dumb thing of ‘theyre all male except viera, and just coincidentally viera are the only humanoid and sexualized race’. (Tho it was funny that somehow they accidentally made all humans male only too??)

Also another reason the Au’ra’s version of fanservice bothers me more than the simple option to wear a bikini as both genders for every other race: like none of them are DESIGNED FROM THE GROUND UP to be ‘they are all biologically born in an idealized supermodel shape and also look twenty years younger than they really are and also all culturally do j-pop poses for fuckin everything’. Even if you picked the sexy catgirls and catboys race you can choose to play a perfectly covered up version of either. And none of their animation sets or voice lines were inherantly fanservicey. Thats kinda what bugs me more than the Au’ra’s designs, its that they’re all ~uguuu senpai~ anime fanservice lady poses and squeaky voices even if you make their design not sexualized in the customizer. Even tho like.. at least a character in full armour doing j-pop poses is kinda funny/cute, so that’s one consolation. But couldnt you have just made them simple emotes for all the characters instead? I WANNA SEE IDOL ROEGADYN OMG :D

ANYWAY UHH BACK ON TOPIC

we almost got a dreadlocks hairstyle? That looks cool

ok.. okay.. I’m done Okay I’m Done sorry i just saw these concept art pics and got really fuckin wistful for what we could have had...

[ariswagbrams]

Party Rocking || Aritty

WHO: Ari Abrams & Kitty Wilde [ @awildecard ], ft. Evie Miller

WHEN: Evie’s birthday party

WHERE: Evie’s apartment

WHAT: Awkwardness, tbh. Just lots of that.

Ari

“Y’know, in a way, I’m like, your very own Drogon.” Ari’s kinda tipsy. Just kinda. It’s a party and she doesn’t drink much, so whenever she drinks even just a bit, she gets a bit tipsy pretty fast. But it’s fine, cause that’s what parties are for. For getting kinda tipsy, and for wheeling the birthday girl around like she’s a badass Targaryen dragon. Rawr, etc. “Wheee!” Well, that’s not super dragon-like. But it’s whatever. She can be a badass dragon anyway.

“Mmkay Drogon needs a dorito break, Khaleesi.” She sort of nudges Evie off her lap, but in a nice way cause she’s her friend and Ari loves her. She’s not horse-faced at all, where’d Kitty come up with that, anyway? She’s obviously friend-faced. “We can go find you a Jon Snow later.” Ari chuckles as she pushes her chair away from her friend, cause she knows Evie is about as interested in having a love life as Ari herself is. Which is to say, super interested in theory but like, totally not into putting herself through the endless pain of making it happen.

 “Heck yes, come to papa.” She practically sing-songs, wheeling herself to the snacks table and reaching for the dorito bowl that’s totally calling her name. Except- “Aw, man!” Someone left the bowl too far away from the edge of the snacks table, and she can’t reach. Luckily for her, Kitty is right there, and Ari’s face lights up at the sight. Cause she can hand her the doritos. Of course. “Hey, K-Dawg. Can I get a hand?”

Kitty

She’s not jealous. It’s not in her nature. And even if it was (a very real possibility she’ll never cop to), she’s certainly not jealous of horse face. And the way Ari is gleefully wheeling her around -- buzzed on the vodka she’d brought to share with her.

No, she’s not jealous. She just thinks’s it’s ridiculous for a woman of her age to be acting so childish. (Though if she like falls off and breaks her nose or something, Kitty supposes it won’t be the worst thing to happen). Honestly, can’t she find someone her own age to play with? The guy from the Six Flags commercial is probably free. 

Whatever. 

It's not a thing, her eyes are always green thank you very much! She’s just glaring because the lighting is poor, obviously. 

At least that’s what she tells herself when Ari rolls up to her and asks for the Doritos. She doesn’t even try to hide the eye roll. “Why don’t you ask your Khaleesi to help you?” she says pointedly, even as she reaches for the bowl and shoves it a little harder than necessary in Ari’s direction - she’s not a monster, she’s not going to keep a girl from her snacks, even if she is unreasonably annoyed. Annoyed. Not jealous. Becuase she’s definitely not that.

Ari

Dayum. Kitty’s mad. Ari’s not like, the best at reading body language or anything, but even she can tell Kitty’s mad. There’s the near-shoving of the bowl, and the stank eye, and the way she says Khaleesi, like it’s a bad word or something. Which don’t even make no sense, man. Khaleesi is, like, the best. And she knows Kitty loves her some Daenerys T. So her problem is clearly with... 

“What’s poor E-Mill done to ya, K-Dawg?” She munches on a Dorito, pleased to find it’s her beloved cool ranch flavor and not tex mex. Don’t get her wrong, she likes all doritos, but cool ranch is like, the Khaleesi of doritos. “You’re lookin’ at her like she’s Daenerys and you’re, like... Cersei, or something.” Ari grins, clearly teasing. “Told ya you’re a Lannister.” She pops a dorito in her mouth and winks at Kitty, cause she’s kinda tipsy and being kinda tipsy makes her do stuff like winking. Alcohol. Not even once.

“No, seriously, tho. You all right?” She tries to look concerned, but the eating is kinda making it hard so she swallows and leaves the bowl on the table with the rest of the snacks. Concerned face. Right. “It’s a party!” She shimmies her shoulders, hoping it’ll help Kitty crack a smile or something. “What’s botherin’ you, Your Grace?”

Kitty

Ari’s pretty tipsy. Kitty can tell because, well, Ari doesn’t drink often so it doesn’t take a lot. And it’s kind of cute if she’s being honest, but like -- in a way that only makes her annoyance grow. Because she’s happy. Ari’s happy wheeling horse face around her stupid party, and she doesn’t get that a lot. That carefree drunken silliness. 

And who is Kitty to ruin that with her -- somewhere in the back of her mind she shudders -- feelings. 

This is why it’s better when she doesn’t have any. Why she’s taken to shacking up with people she doesn’t have a ton for, and who definitely don’t have any for her. Becuase feelings make you vulnerable. And Kitty’s never been good at that.

“Nothing,” she shrugs, forcing a smile as if to prove her point -- see look how fine I am! “I’m a Lannister.”

Ari

Lies. Shaaaame. If she had a little bell, she’d start going ding ding ding while chanting ‘shame’ after Kitty cause that was a lie and it wasn’t even a good one. So Ari rolls her eyes dramatically and then pretends she’s hitting Kitty with a switch, complete with sound effect and everything. “You are not fooling me.” She points to her own eyes and then at Kitty, in the universal gesture for ‘I’m watching you’. At some point she stopped being Jaqen and started imitating some kind of Mr. Miyagi type character instead, but it’s whatever, cause she’s being serious. 

Kinda. 

“C’mon. You can tell me. I’m Ari!” Friendly, inoffensive Ari with the open ears and nothing else. Friend, friend, friend. Yep. A friend. That’s what she is. Not friends, however? “You havin’ Puckertroubles?” Ari likes both Puckergals, don’t get her wrong. They’re pretty cool. Hot and tall, and like... yeah. Cool. Not just friends, those two. They’re...def on a diff level. She doesn’t mind them. She just kinda minds their relationships with Kitty. 

In a friendly way. 

Sure.

Kitty

She’d hate Ari right now, to be honest. If like, that was a thing a person could actually do. Hate Ari. She’s pretty sure it’s scientifically impossible. She’d ask Miss Science Queen, but honestly, she’s pretty sure she’ll blurt out like five offensive things before she gets to the question, so it’s better this way.

But the point is, Ari makes it impossible. So while it’d be a hell of a lot easier to totally hate her for the feelings she didn’t ask to have. She can’t. 

She also apparently can’t lie about it, which is also a total drag. What’s the point of being a hot southern Christian gal if she can’t tell a convincing lie? Or pull an I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-genuine smile? 

So instead, she’ll focus on truths she’s comfortable.

“Nah,” she reaches for her -- vodka a mountain dew (more vodka than dew, but whatever), a weird combination, kind of like them -- and casually takes a sip. “Taking a break from Puckergals. It’s whatever.”

Ari

“Good.” 

Her eyes widen. Like, wider than normal. She knows her eyes are big af always. But that was like, so not what she should’ve said, cause Kitty seems sad and she’s prob sad she’s no longer doing whatever with the Puckergals (she knows ‘whatever’ is prob all sorts of like, acrobatic sex, but she doesn’t really wanna think about it) and Ari is supposed to be her friend. So ‘good’ is def like, the last thing she should’ve said. 

“I mean.” She clears her throat, suddenly wishing she’d never even had a sip of alcohol cause her brain is foggy and normally she can, like, be Kitty’s friend separately from someone who kinda likes Kitty but not in a creepy way or anything, just in a ‘you’re heckin beautiful and smart and I’d def love to date you but I’m not an awful person so I wouldn’t wish me upon you’ way. You know? She’s panicking, is what she’s saying. 

“I mean I’m glad you’re good? That’s good.” Her hands grip her wheels and she pushes herself back a couple inches, just like, putting space between herself and Kitty because damn, son. She’s bad at this. “The whole Puckerlovin’s prob not all it’s cracked up to be.” A shrug. She wouldn’t know. She hears it’s the bomb diggity and she’s sure it’s true, but whatever. She’s not here to tell Kitty she should go back to them, right? “You feelin’ ok about the break thing?”

Kitty

“Yeah.” 

She is good. Not like, in this moment, exactly. Honestly, she’s still a bit miffed that Bill Nye got to live out her personal wheelie fantasy like right in front of her or whatever. But she’s good with the Puckerbreak. 

Or she will be. She likes them both. In like a sexy way and as people, but she knows it’s not going anywhere. Puckerladies have to be free. And Kitty’s kind of done with the jealousy every time Jackie looks at Marley for too long or flirts with some loser trampy girl. It’s not going to be more than sex ever with either of them, so there’s really no point in racking up hell points over it. 

Besides, she’s kind of sort of realized lately, against all odds she actually likes spending time with Ari. And it doesn’t leave her feeling weird about herself or jealous (with the exception of this particular moment, obvs) - she actually, sort of feels good? 

But like, she can’t just say those words. Outloud. To Ari. She’s a lot of crazy (beautiful, talented, smart) -- but she hasn’t totally lost her marbles. 

 So she settles for, “Like I said, it’s whatever. Jackie’s got a weird third nipple anyway,” or so goes her story, and she’s sticking to it. “It’s super gross.”

Ari

“Good.” She doesn’t take it back this time. If anyone deserves a gross, weird third nipple, it’s a Puckerman. Both Puckermans. “Gotta balance out all that...” she gestures at her own body, even if it’s frankly like, the saddest comparison ever when she actually means the P-sisters’ bodies, but she thinks Kitty will know what she means anyway. “All that.” Yeah. Let’s leave it at that. Kitty knows like, way better than Ari does, what ‘all that’ means. And Ari doesn’t really wanna think about it. 

“So whaddaya wanna do?” Kitty is obv not happy, and she obv doesn’t wanna talk about it, so... what’s a nerd to do to help? “I have Netflix on my phone.” Wow. Impressive. Not like she’s been mooching Kitty’s HBO to watch GoT with her all this time. Smoooth. “Or uh... you can have my Doritos? Cool ranch.” That’s Ari’s love language right there. What else? She doesn’t have like, a ton of stuff to offer. Like she wants Kitty to not be sad or in whatever funk she’s in, but she’s like, the last person who should be in charge of cheering people up. Normal people, she means. If this was Evie or Sammy, she’d be pulling out Mario Kart or starting an impromptu D&D campaign. But Kitty is... Kitty. 

“I just wanna cheer you up, K-Dawg.” She shrugs and smiles and sort of rolls her chair back and forth for a second, cause she doesn’t know if Kitty wants her to get lost or stay and she’s kinda giving her a choice, she figures. “So just tell me what you want. We’ll make it happen. I’m like, a director. I make heckin’ good magic happen.”

Kitty

It’s probably bad -- like, she definitely knows it is. Somewhere Sweet Baby Jesus is frowning and shaking his little baby head. But like this, right here, Ari sort of jumping over herself to make Kitty feel better is... actually making her feel better. And like she said, it’s wrong, she knows. 

But fuck. 

Regardless of whether or not it’s true, she’s always played second fiddle in the eyes of like every girl she’s ever liked. And then here’s Ari. Making a show of putting her first and it feels really good. 

And while she doesn’t show it outwardly -- her expression still neutral and hard to read -- she does bend her knee just so, knocking it against Ari’s. (Is that weird? Can she feel that? Is that like super insensitive?) 

“I mean... I wouldn’t pass up a ride to like the balcony. Pop culture has taught me that fresh air heals, like, all things,” and it’s also a really great way to change the topic, so it kind of works on both those levels.

Ari

Ari doesn’t really feel Kitty’s knee against her own, but she sees it, and she appreciates the gesture. She’s sure she’d like it if she’d felt it. Like, she’s sure she’d like to feel anything of Kitty’s against her to be honest, not that she should be thinking about that, because she’s not a creeper and this is like, totally the alcohol talking. She should drink more. Like, she should prob have drunk less, but that can’t be fixed now, so she may as well just drink herself into a stupor at this point to stop her brain from thinking about feeling Kitty against-

“Oh.” A ride, really? Ari doesn’t know if Kitty’s like, just saying that to make her feel less useless, like ‘yes, Ariana (why is she always Ariana in her head? prob The Mothership’s fault somehow), I totes need you to take me outside’. But you know what they say about horses, gifts, and mouths. If Kitty wants to like, sit on her lap and go out into the balcony? Aint’ nobody gonna complain. 

“Hop on, Your Grace.” Ari pats her lap and then puts both hands on her wheels just to keep them from accidentally touching Kitty cause she’s not about the creeper lifestyle. “Just for the record, I hope Drogon never, like, lets Cersei ride him. We’ll just make an exception for right now.”

Kitty

Ari agrees, albeit a bit awkwardly, but Kitty doesn’t take it personally. Frankly, Ari runs a bit on the awkward side. And because she’s like the hottest person Ari will have on her lap all night (Kitty knows how to toot her own horn) so like she can’t even blame her if the nerves are a bit extra tonight, can she? 

(and like... okay, so maybe she has a few anxieties of her own, too.) 

Rolling her eyes, Kitty slides onto Ari’s lap, her heart doing a funny thing as she settles in. And despite the fact that Ari’s body is like... super tense, it still kind of feels.... nice? Not like, in a friend way. But in a ‘well this wouldn’t be the worst mode of transportation to take for the rest of my life’ sort of way, and kitty feels...

She feels a lot. 

“It’ll be our secret,” she agrees, then taps Ari’s shoulder, “Get it, Drogon.”