#like we obsessively budget and track where everything's going
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m*a*s*h season three continues!! disc two!!
"alcoholics unanimous" is so funny oh my god
the scene where trapper, hot lips, and hawkeye are all lit and making each other laugh is note perfect i want to live in it forever. i can't decide if "who was that guy?" was scripted or if loretta swit just went for a one-shot kill after the scene was over but i live for these bits when margaret accidentally ends up on team 100 proof
it's also nice of them to periodically remind us that frank has a huge wang. i'm glad he's got that one thing going for him
they're really softening hot lips this season 💕
they're styling her much younger, too. the barrettes! the ponytails!!!! i might never recover from the ponytails.
and the scene where she is reading a that letter to radar while he's in the hospital, and she has that little giddy smile at the end! it's so sweeeeeet it's killing me come on
i have a lot of thoughts about frank and margaret, and like five of them are about the phone call in the nurses episode
"knowing you'd kill me makes my life worthwhile" see. with the laugh track off, this joke turns into just margaret staring dreamily in soft focus and the realization that ohhhh. oh no. she really means that. she's like in love in love with this clown, that's so embarrassing for her
(also from that episode: the afterlife song is stuck in my head! the nurse song with the halfhearted montage though like. what happened in the editing room there.)
(also hilarious that trapper misses his wife for the first and only time when every woman in the camp is gone)
"adam's rib" - i like how everyone universally thinks hawkeye's quest is dumb, but they climb aboard the shenanigans because they have nothing else to do
WE LIED TO MILDRED!!!
i don't think i've mentioned how much i love henry and radar together. their comic timing is flawless. that bit of talking over each other never gets old. and then whenever they love and defend each other!!! i love a professional substitute dad
time for "bombed"!!! blow that pyrotechnics budget babyyyyy! blow shit up! break windows! light stuff on fire!!
the trapper/hot lips ship watch on this blog turned into a ship warning just in time for the two of them to get locked in a supply tent and not bang
you gotta admit the long-running ust potential here is pretty great (they hate each other) (but he's a little obsessed about hating her) (and she lusts after him) (and they're both hot)
SADLY for my cause there was no booze in there, because every time she gets drunk she's like "regrettably, there's frank" but sober she wants to marry him
no wonder he wants to outlaw alcohol in the camp
"we held hands and said the pledge of allegiance together" okay they are genuinely so funny sometimes though
i'm also falling hard for hawkeye/trapper but they would never be exclusive so multishipping is built in
last on the disc is "bulletin board"!!!
an episode about nothing is so soothing after all the explosives. the balance of action and Just Hanging Around in this series is really enjoyable
trapper writing a letter to his daughter 🥺
"korea? the war still?" and the rest of that little pillow fight scene. so much sibling energy in the swamp.
henry losing that patient hit well. i hate to be like "i'm rooting for patients to die" because it's not that, but they save them so successfully that it's dramatically satisfying whenever they don't. and i like how it silently affects henry through the rest of the ep while the rest of them have fun
that long beautiful shot of all of them running back to camp!!!!
ok this post took me like three days to write somehow because i rewatched everything ENJOYYYYYY
#i could write this many bullet points about any single episode but i'm playing it cool you know#mashblogging#it's about time i watched m*a*s*h
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your hc for your vivian and roy
I only watched the first 3 episodes of "Fairly Odder" before it was pulled, but Roy is my absolute favorite <3 I've drawn some doodles of him, but I don't know where they are atm.
So obsessed with the popular boy who literally wanders around with a broken leg and all he does is wish for stuff like golden pants. Everybody loves him and he'll happily leave his own party - or cancel his party - to check up his beloved stepsister. He adores her. He's everything I want in a character.
The whole back-and-forth wish set-up followed by Roy immediately withholding his wish so that Vivian couldn't use hers to get away from him was hilarious. I think he was a great "second take" on a "perfect fairy stepsibling that the other envies" after how Chloe's introduction ruffled so many feathers.
I really didn't like the love interest girl who hung around him with a camera for the "school paper," but I did think it was funny that she ended up being Viv's friend... Now Viv has a friend in a scary new town and the new girl has a way to get close to Roy that's a little less stalker-ish. Also the "Don't you think Roy is hot?" / "He's my stepbrother" / "Mm. Too bad for you" was pretty funny.
I've always interpreted Timmy and Chloe as fairy stepsiblings, so having literal stepsiblings was amazing. I enjoyed them as a duo, but a lot of the writing for the show was flimsy and I couldn't get very far into the show- strong pilot, awful 2nd episode, blatant low budget during the....... "wolf" appearance on Midas, and I lost interest and they removed it before I saw any more episodes.
I do regret not watching a little more, but those were really long episodes that were a struggle for me. I've never been into shows with laugh tracks before, so it was jarring for me, and I usually like more fantasy in my fiction, and "Fairly Odder" did struggle a ton on that end since it was live action (i.e. not even showing the "wolf" onscreen while everybody looked towards the "cameras" and cowered over how scary the wolf was, I think they even narrated what it was doing like "It's getting closer" and... yeah).
I'm glad the new series will be animated because "Odder" was pretty painful. Like I said, mixed feelings about what's to come, but if they're doing this then I'm glad it's animated. I think they also changed Wanda's pants color, which I like because it gives her just a slightly more unique design.
From what I recall, Viv is the daughter of Tyler, who is the younger brother of Timmy's Dad - with Tyler spontaneously racing back to Dimmsdale to marry his high school sweetheart and hopefully open a dance studio with her, and all those two lovebirds like to do is dance around when they're together and that's big "cartoon parent" energy and I love that - and Viv is Timmy's younger cousin by 5 years. The name I gave Timmy's Dad also starts with a T, so I think Tyler is a great name for him.
I've outlined WIPs for stories about Timmy's extended family (both sides), and Viv might get mentioned a few times if I ever decide to go through with those pieces, but Roy probably not since they're stepsiblings.
I love Timmy as much as any FOP fan - he's a good boy - but his suburban life doesn't capture my imagination as much as the Pixie lifestyle and Anti-Fairy government and all the magical politics, so we probably won't see them in my 'fics, and I don't have a lot to say about Viv or Roy because I haven't seen them in a long time and only scratched the surface.
That said, I did appreciate how Timmy and Viv had a close relationship and I thought Roy was hilarious. Refusing to fix your broken leg because "I'll do it later" and then refusing to fix it because "You'll wish to be away from me" was so funny and I ended up watching the pilot twice just for that. I really liked him.
#FAIRIES!#Perfect pink beaver boy#Viv and Roy#asks#ridwriting#Long post#Thaddeus and Dominika#Fairly Odder
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'The year 1999 saw the release of Anthony Minghella's film adaptation of The Talented Mr. Ripley. The film had a memorable cast with Matt Damon playing Tom Ripley, Jude Law as Dickie Greenleaf, and Gwyneth Paltrow as Marge Sherwood, respectively. The project was a commercial and critical success, earning over $128 million on a $40 million budget and receiving five Academy Award nominations, including Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor for Law. Now, nearly 24 years later, another adaptation is set to be released on TV titled Ripley.
Before tuning in for the TV adaptation, make sure to check out the following helpful guide that contains everything we know so far about Ripley...
Does 'Ripley' Have a Release Date?
All eight episodes of Ripley are set to premiere on Thursday, April 4, 2024. This comes over four years after it was originally announced. It also comes hot off the heels of Saltburn, which was influenced by the 1999 movie and Patricia Highsmith's novel.
Where Can You Watch 'Ripley'?
When the series was first announced, it was initially set to air on Showtime. However, it was revealed in February 2023 that the series will instead premiere on Netflix. This was a result of the series being shopped around due to Showtime being integrated into the Paramount+ platform. Being a limited series, it is most likely that all eight episodes will be released simultaneously on Netflix.
Is There a Trailer for 'Ripley'?
Netflix released the first teaser trailer for Ripley on January 22, 2024, also revealing the release date for the series.
Netflix released the full trailer for Ripley on March 4, 2024, giving an extended look at the series.
What Is 'Ripley' About?
Based on Patricia Highsmith's novel, The Talented Mr. Ripley, the series will follow the titular Tom Ripley and his involvement with Dickie Greenleaf and Marge Sherwood. Tom is a struggling con man living in New York who uses his duplicitous skills of forgery and impersonation to get by. By chance, he encounters Herbert Greenleaf, an acquaintance and rich shipbuilder, who enlists Tom's help to retrieve his son, Dickie, who is living it up in Italy. Tom takes advantage of the opportunity and tracks down Dickie, only to form an obsession with befriending the wealthy boy and becoming part of that luxurious lifestyle. However, Tom's intentions are challenged by Marge, Dickie's close friend who happens to be in love with him.
Given the story's genre as a psychological thriller, audiences will be gripped by the tension and twisted dynamics between Tom, Dickie and Marge. Particularly, the audience will see the lengths that Tom will go to climb the social ladder. With Steven Zaillian at the helm of the series, it looks promising that this adaptation might be darker and grittier than the 1999 film adaptation due to Zaillian's established serious tone like in his previous limited series The Night Of. The official synopsis from Netflix reads as follows:
Tom Ripley, a grifter scraping by in early 1960s New York, is hired by a wealthy man to travel to Italy to try to convince his vagabond son to return home. Tom's acceptance of the job is the first step into a complex life of deceit, fraud and murder. The limited series drama is based on Patricia Highsmith’s bestselling Tom Ripley novels.
Who Is Starring in 'Ripley'?
Andrew Scott will play the titular protagonist, Tom Ripley, an ambitious but cunning man who takes on the opportunity to fly to Europe and improve his life. Scott is a BAFTA-winning Irish actor best known for his TV roles in Sherlock and Fleabag. Over the past decade, he has starred in major films like Pride, Spectre, and 1917. He also appeared in other TV series like Black Mirror, His Dark Materials, and Modern Love. He most recently starred in the romantic drama film All of Us Strangers, where he earned some of the highest praise of his career.
Johnny Flynn will portray Richard "Dickie" Greenleaf, the wealthy and spoiled son of Herbert that escaped to Italy and becomes the target of Tom's focus. Flynn is a British actor who worked on various TV series like Lovesick, Genius, and Vanity Fair. He also appeared in films like Cordelia, Operation Mincemeat, and the 2020 adaptation of Emma. He most recently starred in the historical film One Life alongside Anthony Hopkins.
Finally, the role of Marjorie "Marge" Sherwood, the closest friend and romantic interest of Dickie, will be played by Dakota Fanning. The American actress made a name for herself as a popular child actress in films like Man on Fire, I Am Sam, and Uptown Girls. Fanning later starred in films such as The Twilight Saga, The Runaways, and Brimstone. She even worked on TV series like The Alienist and The First Lady. Her most recent project was reuniting with Denzel Washington in The Equalizer 3.
Eliot Sumner also joins the cast in a recurring role as a friend of Dickie who grows suspicious of Tom. Sumner is an English musician and relatively new actor who has appeared in films like The Gentlemen, A Mouthful of Air, and No Time to Die. He is the son of The Police frontman Sting.
John Malkovich is also set to appear in the series in an undisclosed role.
Who Are the Creators of ‘Ripley’?
Steven Zaillian leads the limited series as a writer, director, and executive producer. This marks his second TV miniseries after the Emmy-nominated show The Night Of. His other impressive writing credits include drama films like The Irishman, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and Schindler's List. Joining him as executive producers are Garrett Basch (What We Do In the Shadows), Guymon Casady (Game of Thrones), Sharon Levy (The Biggest Loser), Ben Forkner (The Flagmakers), and Philipp Keel (Deep Water).
Andrew Scott will also be a producer on the series. Robert Elswit is the cinematographer for the show.
When and Where Did 'Ripley' Film?
The series stayed faithful to the story's location by filming in Italy, specifically in Rome and Venice. Filming was originally planned for September 2020 after the show's first announcement but was ultimately pushed to 2021 following the casting of Dakota Fanning. Filming allegedly started in August 2021 based on a Twitter post showing Andrew Scott on set in Italy.
Production in Italy wrapped by April 30, 2022, based on an Instagram story from the assistant director Emiliano Guido.
Filming was then moved to New York City where Scott was spotted in a Twitter video filming the New York-based scenes during May 2022.
Will There Be Another Season of 'Ripley'?
Despite the show being described as a miniseries, it was reported that showrunner Steven Zaillian originally pitched the show with the possibility of exploring Patricia Highsmith's other novels in the "Ripilad" series. These four subsequent novels involve the character of Tom Ripley which Zaillian had the original intent to adapt one book per season. It remains to be seen if these plans will officially follow through after the first season is released. Until then, make sure to watch Ripley when it drops on Netflix.'
#The Talented Mr Ripley#Twitter#Instagram#Anthony Minghella#Ripley#Netflix#Andrew Scott#Richard “Dickie” Greenleaf#Johnny Flynn#Marjorie 'Marge' Sherwood#Dakota Fanning#Emiliano Guido#Matt Damon#Jude Law#Gwyneth Paltrow#Oscars#Patricia Highsmith#Steven Zaillian#John Malkovich#Eliot Sumner#Sherlock#Spectre#Pride#Fleabag#1917#Black Mirror#His Dark Materials#Modern Love#BAFTA#The Irishman
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okay some important notes:
the set is very minimal, as is expected with smaller productions, because the budget is mostly dedicated towards the costumes and sets are expensive lol. so we were just working with a screen and moveable props. but! what they lack in set pieces they make up for in their use of the ensemble!
the ensemble i think was larger, we had ipolitov and the tsar as separate tracks this time, as well as casting a young boy to play alexei and a little girl to play little anastasia, whereas broadway and national tour productions just have the girl play both. i think this allowed some room to play :)
the book remained mostly unchanged (from the off broadway production standards, that is), so most of the Choices were in blocking and lots of little minute details only an insane woman (me) will notice
and the highlights (in no particular order):
after the confrontation, anya runs offstage and changes out of Big Red to wear something similar to the boat dress from the movie? like a simple turquoise dress with some pattern and a white ribbon. and then she finds dmitry, proceeds with the finale, and then changes back into Big Red for curtain call
for the press conference when anya first appears as Anastasia in big red, just vibing and minding her own business on stage, she flinches when the camera goes off 👀 and then the dowager comes out and they hug and the dowager poses just as the bulb flashes but anya flinches Again!! girlie was so uncomfortable it was delicious
during in my dreams, they had some ensemble run out in the background and young anastasia (in her blue hair bow!) like weaving between them as anya narrates?? so the cast was providing a visual to the journey anya is describing
and then they did the same thing for my petersburg!! young dmitry has stolen my heart 😭💖
and they did it again for in a crowd of thousands but with just little anastasia and little dmitry 😭 and he like bows to her and everything <3
iacot was so golden, dmitry is wearing a bathrobe and slippers for his jammies 😭 and they hug!! it's similar to the movie, she says the 'stay with me i'm frightened' line and wraps her arms around him, and he's like frozen for a second and then he slowly holds her back and he says 'is that better?' and lets himself enjoy it <3
during the traveling sequence, anya is using dmitry's satchel as an umbrella in the storm <33 (i need. to speak to the director about this. i need the scene where anya decides to do this. i have not stopped thinking about it.)
overall i'm so obsessed with the way this actress portrayed anya. like she's kinda pretty and sweet at first glance but when you get to know her she's not quite all There, something is a bit Off. she was so Strange and Off-Putting and Intimidating. which is exactly how anya exists in my head. no notes. remarkable.
in the fight with the ruffians they didn't have a fire barrel or a stick or anything, anya is just out here throwing her fists around and cleaning up, it's incredible. and then after she's holding her fists up kinda awkwardly but dmitry knows to be wary and it's so cute
dmitry isn't kneeling in meant to be, which bummed me out at first, but when anya has her Blue Dress moment™ he's just standing there Staring Stupidly, which is understandable, and vlad literally has to shove him to go approach her 😭 and even then he's still just kind of staring in awe and smiling, so anya sticks her arm out like hello 😤 and he's like oh right lol and he takes her arm and they go to the ballet together <3
the kiss/finale didn't feature a suitcase slam™ 😔 but! it was so cute and so so flirty. dmitry is so sad but anya like holds out her hand for him to take, bc she's a proper lady now, and says her 'the grand duchess anastasia would beg to disagree 😌' line and dmitry smiles real big, takes her hand, and they kiss and he spins her around and they're giggling and stuff <3333
in the finale, when anya and dmitry move forward from their spot in the back, anya breaks away from him for a moment to hold hands with little and young anastasia ??? and then she finds dmitry again, he kisses her hand, and they do one turn of a waltz together and then move to the front of the stage with the rest of the cast and finish the show holding each other <3
i meantioned this earlier but anya closing the show in a Simple dress sans tiara hits sooooo different. like.
there's definitely more that i will remember later, but these are the things that are going to keep me up at night for a long time. god. this director understood the assignment
i saw a little local production of anastasia last night, and now that we are in the era of non-replica productions.... man, i am so excited. that was so good. i need to have an insane conversation with this director bc there were so many Choices that i have Not stopped thinking about all day
#anastasia broadway#anastasia musical#personal#also this cast ate#i'm really obsessed with this anya it feels like the anya i write <3#but man. i would give anything to see klentomare do some of these stage directions#i'm not saying i would've Preferred this over the broadway scenes but isn't that the beauty of it??#this is what's so exciting about this era of regional productions#so many new interpretations of the script#some good and some bad#but this was mostly good#and god. fanfictioner's paradise.
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when i was younger i learned never to set up auto pay for anything in case you ever don't have the money to cover it but now we have auto pay set up for all our big bills without having to worry about if the money's in there and it really is such a strange feeling when you've grown up poor
#sometimes it feels like imposter syndrome#like my family struggled my whole life#but now i can auto pay rent insurance and car note#julia and i both grew up poor so we do our best to watch our money#like we obsessively budget and track where everything's going#we think the biggest think from our childhood is that our parents didn't know how to manage their money#so we do our best#even now my parents are better off since my dad got the job he still has when i was in high school#but still they're not great with their money#anyway it's just weird#we don't even make that much together but it's nice to feel secure#it was a little stressful when julia left a terrible well paying job#for two other not great jobs#and she just started one she actually enjoye and we're making more money again#but she just got asked to interview for an even higher paying job she applied for months ago before she got her current job#which is exciting and nerve-wracking#but would be helpful with the wedding coming up#okay i'll stop i'm oversharing but sometimes you have thoughts you need to get out you know#meg.txt#money tw
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Alex Albon: Williams driver says ‘you need to be a fighter to be a driver’
BBC SPORT: Andrew Benson
Alex Albon knows what it's like to think he's at the end of the road.
"You're right on that mental edge of panic and worry," he says. "I sat on that worry for so long that you start to not care. You can't panic forever. You can't worry about it forever.
"And I think: 'Well, l've only got to give it my all. I've only got to put everything on the table.'
His story is one of resilience - of numerous knocks through his life from which he has drawn on remarkable reserves of self-belief to bounce back each time.
On his respiratory failure and being dropped from red bull:
"In terms of setbacks, it's a small one really," he says. "I've had very good doctors around me, who were in Italy, to get me back into a good place. I feel very fortunate."
Two years ago, it looked as though Albon's career was coming to an end before it had really got going.
The decision was tough to take.
"I would be lying if I told you I didn't expect it," Albon says. "I felt like I didn't perform that season. I knew there was a strong chance of it happening.
"I had dreamed of being in F1 since I was four years old, almost completely obsessed with it. You inevitably hit this heartbreak where it is like, almost: 'OK, is this the end? And you've only spent two years in it.'
"It's a brutal business - and how quickly everything came about. It was a true fast-track from Toro Rosso into one of the very top teams in the sport and then out. And it was like: 'Wow, OK. It did hit me hard, as it would anyone."
Albon's voice falters as he talks, and his eyes well up a little.
"I remember the meeting," he says. "I remember everything as clear as day. And I have to say, first, I have a very strong network of people. My family. My friends. And people around me that you see today.
"Very quickly, I was back to work. I was in the simulator very early in January. 'OK, what's my job, how am I going to get back into F1?' And I kind of had a goal and a plan to do that.
"I would say I want F1 more than any other driver. Everyone will say that. But I genuinely believe it. And I knew I had to really do what it takes, in a way that was quite strange because I can't actually prove myself. It was almost like, what can you do without driving the car?"
On 2012:
This was far from the first setback of Albon's career. For many years, he had struggled to keep things on track.
Born to a British father - former racing driver Nigel Albon - and a Thai mother, he'd been a Red Bull-backed driver early in his career, but lost their support after an indifferent season in Formula Renault in 2012, caused by a major personal upheaval.
His mum Kankamol - with whom he is particularly close - was jailed for fraud, leaving a 15-year-old Albon to look after his younger brother and three sisters.
He still doesn't like to talk about it. But in the first series of Netflix's Drive to Survive series, he admitted it was "by far the hardest year l've had in my life", recalling how he "saw her get locked up and taken away".
Albon says now the difficult road "helped" when it came to rebuilding his career. "It's just because l've gone through it," he says.
"I've had it before, personal stuff, as well as I had it in Formula Renault, where I wasn't going to race the year after and we scrambled along and pretty much got a budget together within, like, two weeks of the first race.
On his personality and determination:
In person, Albon is modest and unassuming. It's hard to square such an apparently gentle character with the steel he must have required to get where he has.
"The general public get me wrong," he says. "They think I'm this happy-go-lucky kid constantly, and that I'm not hungry; maybe too nice.
"They will never see the fiery side because they don't have a headset. They don't listen to me when I'm driving. I am naturally quite happy. I do love what I do. It's the reason why I wanted to be in F1 so much. And I felt like I've learnt to enjoy and relax about it. But you definitely need a fiery side if you want to be in F1."
I tell him that what got him to this point seems more like steel than fire, and he says: "It's both. It's the resilience and at the same time it's determination.
"As a driver, you almost need to be a fighter. When you have a helmet on, you're fighting other drivers. And I am fired up. I really am not a nice person when I have my helmet on. Speak to the engineers here and they'll tell you that."
On fighting for his return to the grid:
Albon's answer was to throw himself into work behind the scenes with Red Bull. There were weeks, he says, when he would spend six days out of seven in their simulator.
He prepared a data sheet that proved, he said, his results at Red Bull were better than the general perception and "well in line with the people who I took over from or replaced me".
Albon said they showed the 2020 car "wasn't that easy".
At the Austrian Grand Prix in July 2021, he met Williams chief executive officer Jost Capito and gave him the data as he made a pitch for the drive. The sheet, he told Capito, "showed not just what I can bring but also on a pure performance side, I'm a good driver and you should take me".
Williams knew they would need a replacement for Russell, who was being promoted to Mercedes for 2022. In the background, Russell was making Albon's case to the team.
"He played a part for sure," Albon says of his close friend. "He got my name on the map.
"I've raced against George for a lot of my career and I'm in a very thankful position where he does respect or believe in my ability. He did mention my name a few times to Jost and the board; I joked about it but it is true, almost a bit too much, to the point where they said they wouldn't listen to him!"
Marko and Red Bull team principal Christian Horner also weighed in for Albon. "I know that they both also convinced Jost to take me," he says. "I'm sure - I know - that they also told Jost the job that I was doing.
On his support system and marketing:
Outside the car, Albon has revamped his support structure, taking on a manager, and forming a new relationship with a performance coach.
With them, he says he can "talk about offloading marketing stuff as much as I can".
Williams have turned Albon's distaste for marketing activities into a bit of a running joke on their social media channels. He smiles and agrees, but adds: "It's a genuine thing. There is a lot of noise in F1 and I think I most probably got caught up in it a bit too much in 2020. There was a lot of firing going on and I was trying to avoid all the bullets.
"Red Bull were very good to me and were trying to help me and support me, but having that circle around me has allowed me to really focus on the driving side - the thing that I really like.
"I'm much more of a quy who is comfortable with the engineers than in front of a TV camera and that kind of thing.
"With stuff like Daniel and Oscar, to be able to drive with so much talk going around, it's not an easy thing to do," he says. "I think as a rookie, even in 2020, I wish I could tell myself the stuff I know now. But you can't, so hindsight is a wonderful thing."
On 2022:
His performances have been so good it's almost as if Williams have lost Russell and replaced him with the same driver. Albon's advantage over team-mate Nicholas Latifi is almost identical to the one Russell had.
Albon says his focus right from the start at Williams was getting himself back to being the driver he always believed he could be.
"I had a vision of the areas I wanted to work on from back in 2020," he says. "I was like, 'OK, I want to fix my areas almost first and really understand. I've got to get comfortable with the team and all that kind of thing.'
"That's almost slightly separate to the performance of the car and where it was at. I've got to look at myself and really... I wouldn't even call it shake off the rust, but really focus on my development."
In the end, all this introspection and hard work has paid off.
"I can only say that I feel comfortable," Albon says. "I feel confident in the car. I feel confident with myself in the team and I know for a fact that I'm driving better than I did in 2020.
"If I look at it almost selfishly, independently, I feel like the year has gone as good as I could have hoped for."
He hopes, he says, he has proved a point.
#when i tell you i am on the train chewing BRICKS#I MEAN IT#i could cry he’s SOOOOOO#he’s so much more than the nice guy i want to shove this down everyone’s throats#alex albon#suzuka 2022
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Good Space
Author's Note: I know I was dropping fics like hot cakes the other week, so sorry for the delay. I've been on a bit of a spring break bender and this is my first day sober in like a week lol. It's another unspecified reader piece, so it can be Jack or Urban if you'd like.
@linnlake @harlowsfreckles, this one's for y'all🥰
"You do realize we're, like, total opposites right?" You explain further, your brows knitting together in frustration, your eyes still kind but your voice a bit tired.
This was officially the longest break up ever.
"No, we're not! We're like the same person," he argues, his warm eyes still full of so much hope.
"Stop it," you hiss at him, the tiniest smile pulling at the edge of your lips as you snatch the folded shirt from his hand. He was currently in your hotel room, watching you fold and pack away your belongings into your suitcase... well, less him watching and more him unpacking what you had packed.
You had met eight days ago, locking eyes as he stepped into the wrong studio with his friends. You were the creative assistant director for a friend of yours who was in LA to help executively produce an album for a client. You weren't really a creative assistant director, you just really wanted to come and she needed to give you a title within the company to work you into the budget for a free trip. You and the team had gotten settled into the studio space, when in walked Private Garden into the wrong studio. You looked up and locked eyes with him and from that moment on, you two had been attached at the hip; completely and utterly obsessed with each other in every way possible. Everything was so perfect until day eight came along and ruined everything.
"I'm serious! We live two completely different lifestyles, on two opposite sides of the country, mind you."
"So you're telling me that you didn't feel anything in the last week?" He tugs the shirt you were folding from your grasp, forcing you to look at him. "Tell me you felt nothing." His voice is softer, but firm, his eyes a little bit dimmed with hurt. He brings a warm hand to your face, your lip trembling a bit as you try to formulate the lie.
"Exactly, you can't."
He maneuvers closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you close, your own arms going around his waist. You just lay your head on his chest, a few tears saturating the fabric; his chin rests on your head as he just holds you.
"I have to go," you mutter to him sadly, not making a move to pull away at all.
"No you don't, you can stay with me."
"We just met, this is crazy!"
"But we didn't just meet, baby," you pull back to look at him, confused.
"Do you believe in soul mates?" He asks timidly, causing you to pull your head back further to get a good look at him. You could tell where this was going, and a part of you wanted to stop him in his tracks while the other wanted to hear what he had to say.
"Come here, just sit with me a second, okay?" He leads you to sit down on the bed beside the mountain of clothes still yet to be packed away.
"I just-," he shakes his head looking down at his lap, his hands coming to cup his face as he groans in frustration.
"Babe?" You whisper softly, your hand going to push the curls away from his face to look at you.
"Are you-, fuck," he takes another frustrated breath, his fingers briefly pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back to you, "are you in a good space to hear what I'm about to tell you?" He looks at you, his eyes pleading for your reassurance to keep him going.
"Uh, yeah, I think so." You say cautiously, feeling uneasy at what he could possibly say. You feel his hand grasp yours in his lap, you give it a squeeze to encourage him to continue.
"I-, we-, you-, fuck!" He grits his teeth a little at his stumbling and stuttering. You squeeze his hand again, this time bringing it to your lips to place a small kiss to his knuckles.
"It's okay, love; everything is okay, I promise. You can tell me, it's okay." You coo and encourage, your voice soft and your eyes warm with tenderness, a look that has his insecurities melting away.
He take his time to look at you. He really looks at you and all that he's come to know in the short week together; your patience with him, your soft and gentle nature in everything you do, your availability to receive him at his own pace, your reassurance and encouragement, your down to earth spirit, your joyful energy, your contagious positivity, your beauty and humility. You were all he ever wanted to see going forward.
"When I walked into the studio the first day we met, when I saw you sitting on the leather couch all the way in the back of the room, do you remember that?" A small smile played on his face as he looked your intertwined hands, his anxiety forbidding him from looking you in the eye as he feels overcome with vulnerability at his coming confession.
"Yeah, I remember watching you walk in with your friends." You smile at the thought too, a small sad smile mirroring his. You didn't want this to end.
"The room was so dark and smokey, but you were glowing, like your aura or whatever. And when you looked up from that book you were reading, and we made eye contact it was like, I don't know, like something happened, ya know?" You wait patiently for him to continue.
"It was like a movie or something, like a cliché cinematic experience that you hear about but you don't believe unless you feel it yourself. I felt it, baby. Like time stopped, I swear it did, it all stopped and it was like just me and you in the room. I couldn't see or hear anyone else, but I could see you so clearly in that hazy ass room. My brain was going so fast, I couldn't even think to breathe, it was like a blur in my head and all I could do was feel. Is this making any sense?"
You just nod, blinking slightly as you process the words.
"I just had all these physical feelings, like down to the hairs on my body, like everything was electric. And then suddenly I could breathe again, time started to unfreeze a little and I could hear again, and the first recognizable thought I had was... it was, uh-, it was 'soul mate'." His voice lowers as his hand is pulled from yours to come to clasp his own in an attempt to self-soothe, his anxiety feeling like a heavy weight on his chest as he waits for you to respond.
Your heart stopped as he said the words, your brain couldn't process fast enough for his liking, making him stand up and retreat from you a little bit, his body language letting you know he was going into a defensive mode. You wanted to speak, you wanted to reassure and comfort him, but you couldn't say a word.
"You know what, now that I've said it out loud, I'm just realizing how crazy that all sounds. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, you don't need any of this on your conscience."
"We're soul mates."
Now it was his turn to lose his words, not at all expecting you to say those words to him at all.
"I didn't know that that happened to you too," you begin.
"What does that mean?" His words are hurried as he comes back to sit on the bed, his hands grasping the both of yours firmly, his eyes searching yours for an ounce of validation.
"That happened to me too. When we met, and I saw you coming in through the door, walking to the front of your group to figure out what was happening with the schedule mix up... I couldn't help but stare at you, and when we made eye contact, everything stopped for me too." You tell him, tears stinging your eyes at your confession, the intense emotion between the two of you causing you to shake a little bit as you try to contain yourself.
"My first thought was 'he's my soul-mate', and you walked up to me, you didn't look to your left or to your right, you just walked right for me like you were on a mission—like you were searching for me and finally found me."
"I was, even if I wasn't aware of it." His words make you flush a little, your forehead coming to rest against his as his hand cups your cheek.
"I thought I was crazy, I tried to push it down, tried to forget it, tried to talk myself out of it, tried to convince myself that my mind was playing tricks on me. But every time—every damn time—you would do anything, no matter how small, my brain would just say 'soul-mate'. It's only been eight days, and feel like I can't even remember what life was like a week ago without you." You confess.
"Then why would you go? Why would you leave this? Us?"
"I was scared," your tears running freely down your cheeks now. "I still am, hell, what do I know about being someone's soul mate? What do I even know about my own soul for me to even get started learning someone else's? How do I explain to my friends and family 'so yeah, I found my soul mate in LA eight days ago, and now I've decided to stay with him'? I'll sound fucking crazy!"
"Don't worry about anyone else, okay? Don't worry about those things, baby. Just focus on me, on us; we're soul-mates, we're made for each other." Both of his hands cup your cheeks, his face just a few inches away from yours as you both stare into the windows of each other's souls.
You can see the sincerity and longing in his eyes, you knew he was right, everything about the two of you together felt right. He had work to do that week, but he spent every free moment he had with you. You had spent all day together since you technically weren't working, your friend completely understanding you wanting to enjoy your little vacation with your "new boo". You were with him at the studio and whatever shoots he had to attend, he would even rearrange his schedule just to fit more time with you. Dates and hang outs, late night conversations, deeply satisfying sex, and falling asleep in each other's arms. This week had been a dream.
This morning was heavy on you both, starting off with you slipping out of his bed and back to your hotel room before he could get the chance to coerce you to stay in his arms. You'd spent a lot of the morning crying, the ringer of your phone and his profile picture popping up plagued your morning as you began trying to pack up your things. You'd stop periodically to sit on the bed and rehearse what to tell him, trying to figure out what else to tell him but the truth—anything but that you two are soul-mates.
"I'm just so scared," you sigh, "this is just so intense. I feel like there wasn't a build up like normal relationships, it was from the moment I saw you starting on a 10, and now we're jumping up the scales by threes and sevens. Its just so crazy, so intense, so scary. We don't know each other." You see his face wince slightly at that last statement.
"But we do know each other, more than we know, baby. It feels good, doesn't it?" You nod, "then that's all we need."
"I don't thin-"
"It feels good baby, just feel the good." His lips seal against yours gently, your response dying in your tongue as you sigh at the feeling of him.
"Didn't mean to cut you off. Just wanted to kiss my soul-mate, ya know." He teases, a slight flush creeping up your neck as you hear him say the words, his usual charming demeanor returning.
"Everything is going to be okay, baby—even better than okay, okay? We're going to figure it all out, together. We just need time to navigate, okay? Just breathe with me," you nod, following his actions of taking deep breaths, his hands on your cheeks as you look at him as you do it, his smile soft and sweet.
"Everything is going to be okay," you repeat back to him, and he nods to you, securing the statement as truth.
"Just stay here with me baby, I'm going to be here for six more days. I just don't want this all to end so soon. The next few days aren't going to be so busy, I just want to enjoy you in all the ways my soul has missed. Our souls, they missed each other, don't you feel that? We may have just met, but when I look at you I feel like I'm reunited with someone I knew before. I just want to say "I missed you" even though it didn't make sense before, it makes sense to us now."
"I missed you too, I really did," your confession is quiet, almost like it was a secret just for him to know as you close your eyes, resting your forehead against his again. You hear his breathy laugh and you can imagine the exact smile that he has on his face without opening your eyes.
"Stay with me, stay here in Cali for another week, and we can figure it out, I've got some down time after that. Maybe I can come with you back to your city after; I don't think the crew has been there before, you can give us the grand tour," he teases, knowing you love your home city, having boasted many times over the last week about how it's the best in the country.
"I'll stay. Six more days is doable, and then we'll figure it out."
"And then we'll figure it out."
"Together?"
"Together, baby."
Read more
#Jack Harlow#Urban Wyatt#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow fluff#jack harlow x reader#urban wyatt imagine
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✨✨Writeblr Intro✨✨
Hi! I’m new to writeblr and I hope to become more involved with the writing community on here!
I’m a university student majoring in Archaeology which of course means I’m obsessed with everything old and ancient, which can be seen in a lot of my stories (*cough* time travel *cough*). I’ve been in love with making up stories and characters since I was little but I never really thought of myself as a writer. Honestly, I didn’t even think about writing my ideas down until this past winter when I started using Wattpad again. I found some amazing stories (shoutout to @screamingatanemptyroom) that inspired me to start writing and now I can’t seem to stop.
Anyways, here are a couple of my stories in the works✨
Introverted University student Evelyn Chandler has been enlisted by her history Professor to travel back in time to 1890s New York to gather firsthand information from the past. When Evelyn is betrayed by one of her team mates, she suffers brain damage and is left to navigate the past without any idea of where (or when) she is from. With the help of an awkward detective, she fights her way through oppression, a corrupt government organization, and a dangerous serial killer who seems hellbent to have Evelyn by their side.
—————————————
“This could go one of several ways:
1. We could get there successfully, complete the mission and come home.
2. The machine could blow up killing us all in the process.
Or 3. We could end up somewhere completely different wearing our asses as hats.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?”
——————————————
Genre: Historical fiction, Mystery, Romance.
Progress: 24 chapters (not published)
*My first story ever and it’s my pride and joy
Emilia Rosewell is a normal, high school hating teenager who wants nothing more than to graduate without too much drama. Unfortunately, an attractive new guy mysteriously sweeps into town and ruins her plans.
While vampire romances have never been an interest to her, Emilia finds herself in the middle of a magical world of bloodsucking hotties. Unbeknownst to them, she's not going down without a fight. She'll have a normal life, even if it means defanging a couple thousand immortals along side a brooding vampire hunter to get it.
————————————
"This is what I am, Emilia. I'm a monster." He whispered.
I thought for a moment, stunned but also realizing the true weight of the situation.
"Damn straight you are."
"Wha—" he began but I cut him off, justifiably enraged by this new information.
"You've been asking me out, telling me you're in love with me, and this whole time you were an old perv in a younger body!?" I shouted, pointing an accusatory finger. "It's extremely apparent that you're a monster, just not in the way you thought."
———————————-
Genre: Paranormal fiction
Progress: Mostly major scenes, no full chapters
When Ella Reed is transported back in time to the Medieval era, she is taken prisoner by the royal guard. This past, she soon finds out, is far from what she learned in history class. Unless she missed the unit about dragons, magic, and dangerous sorcerers who tempt your morals.
Will Ella ever get back home or will she be stuck in this strange new world forever?
————————————
There was noise coming from in front of me, like something big was running through the trees. The unmistakable sound of an animal came closer.
Is that a freaking horse!? What kind of a budget do these guys have?
I darted to to the side of the foot path hoping the trees would give me enough cover. I dove behind a large bush and hid there for a moment waiting for the large animal to pass. No matter how good I was at track and field I cannot outrun a damn horse.
Two seconds later, a horse carrying a rather large man with a sword drawn zoomed passed. A sword. What the hell does he need an actual sword for? Cutting large vegetables? I wonder if he has a license for that.
—————————————
Genre:Fantasy
Progress: The first two chapters are out on Wattpad now and I’m working on updating soon (can be found here)
Danger lurks within the confines of normal society; corrupt law enforcement, secret organizations with hidden agendas, and human experiments with horrific outcomes.
Snarky and chaotic Nora soon finds herself enthralled in this hidden world and gives her captors a run for their money. Right when she thought all hope was lost he shows up, an infuriatingly attractive new scientist who seems hellbent on her release but she can't seem to pinpoint his motive.
Maybe she could use him to her advantage or she might just get more than she bargained for.
—————————————-
I occupied myself by making noises with my mouth, the only entertaining thing I could think of that doubled as an annoyance to the good doctor over there.
After a particularly loud noise one of the guards snapped his head towards me. "Oh my God, do you ever shut up!"
I took a sharp intake of breath and pretended to ponder on it a moment. "Nope," I said popping the 'p' and continued making the noises.
Maybe I was acting like an annoying brat but I'm not about to be a star patient in this hell hole.
If I have to deal with their bullshit then I'll make damn sure they have to deal with mine.
—————————————
Genre: Fiction, humour
Progress: 4 chapters posted on Wattpad so far (can be found here)
Elara has everything; wealthy parents, a gorgeous fiancé, and her dream job all lined up for her perfect future. But of course not all is as it seemed. Her parents treated her like a stranger, her fiancé was an arrogant prick, and her dream job only cemented her further into this miserable life.
When her fiancé publicly breaks off their engagement for another women, Elara’s life comes crumbling down around her, so she goes to the one place she felt safe; the forest clearing where she and her friend used to play as a child.
But since when was there a glowing lake here and why the hell does the guy guarding it look so familiar?
————————————
"You can't go in there," he said, though he didn’t make any move to stop me.
"Really? Cause last time I checked this is a free country."
"There will be consequences that—“
"Oh spare me the lecture! everything has consequences, the only question is whether you have anything to lose." I stared at the glowing water, an instinctive, ancient desire welling up inside me. "And as it just so happens, I no longer do."
———————————-
Genre: Fantasy/supernatural fiction
Progress: obsessed with the storyline but no complete chapters
✨So far these are all the formulated plots but I have a lot more that I’m still forming, so there will probably be updates!✨
Thanks for reading!
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As someone who is in their late 20's and a closeted lesbian, television shows provide an outlet for me to live vicariously through the characters and find joy out of their stories. Villanelle and her character arc were such a source of happiness and introspection for me. I know others feel the same way - that's why I think there is absolutely no shame in feeling mentally. physically, emotionally unwell after the finale. At face value it's already horrifying enough to see your favorite characters ruined, but subconsciously, a finale like that is telling you that if you are queer you will never find happiness, and that you are inherently wrong no matter how you try not to be. They can say that it wasn't their intent, or that an angle like that would be reading too much into it, but they need to understand that shows like Killing Eve simply do not exist for the queer community. A show where the sexualities of the characters was never a big "reveal" moment or a plot point or anything out of the ordinary. They were just allowed to exist and thrive in their spaces without ever being put into a box. It was liberating, it was fun, and it made me feel so normal. Heterosexual media features SO many different character types, relationships, and every story line you can think of, backed up by big budget and great actors. It's encouraged to be obsessed with ships, to buy merchandise, to become invested.
Yet whenever we do that we are told we're being over the top, that it's fiction, that we need to focus on real life. Why is that?
Additionally, in heterosexual media, people have the pick of the litter of characters to choose to relate too because the creative freedom in heterosexual media is limitless. There's so many genres, so much more quantity, so much more of EVERYTHING that even if a character you love dies, and it effects you to some degree, I'm sure there are at least a couple of other shows and characters that you can fall back on that ended well.
The queer community? (And I would even go so far as to single out the lesbian community, because there are SO few lesbian relationships that are thoroughly developed or have a main storyline, even less if you focus on live-acted media instead of animation). Very little to nothing.
It's why this feels like such a blow. Why Lexa was such a blow. These excellently acted, developed and unique characters that we see so rarely, brutally killed on our screens.
I would never ask for special treatment from a writer just because I'm part of the queer community, but I think there needs to be more thoughtfulness towards the depiction of lesbian characters and their similar fates in past television shows, especially in a show like Killing Eve that has asked us to invest in these characters' journeys and encouraged critical thinking and theorizing over the past 4/5 years. This wasn't a weekly 1/2 hour comedy show with a laugh track that is easily consumed for fun and can be taken at face value. This was a show that asked us to immerse ourselves in Villaneve's world, to prompt introspection and read between the lines to understand these one-of-a-kind characters and their unique bond.
So for the writers to act like it was anything but that is very sad, and moreso concerning for the future of television if people like this continue to run shows, and continue to ignore the queer voices in the room.
ALL. OF. THIS. It was perfectly said, so I don't really feel the need to expand upon it, but I do want to highlight this part that is SO fucking important:
Heterosexual media features SO many different character types, relationships...it's encouraged to be obsessed with ships, to buy merchandise, to become invested.
Yet whenever we do that we are told we're being over the top, that it's fiction, that we need to focus on real life. Why is that?
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Not So Serious
Prompt: ayoooo I’m like-obsessed with your writing style omg if your requests are open I’d love to see some good good logince hurt/comfort where Roman has a crush on Logan and gets this idea that he’s not serious enough for Logan to like him at all so Roman completely changes himself only for Logan to wonder where the man he’s in love with went.
Thanks for the prompt, babe!
Read on Ao3
Pairings: logince, as on the tin
Warnings: roman’s a little bit of a self-doubting and self-depricating boi but other than that none! we are happy now!
Word Count: 5340
Roman knows he’s the least important of the Light Sides. Or at the very least, the one that Thomas listens to the least.
That’s okay.
It’s not, not really, but that doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that most of it can be chalked up to the fact that he’s the least serious Side. He’s the dreamer, the fanatic, the one whose head is permanently in the clouds. He sings, he dances, he acts, he plays. And that’s his job! He’s Creativity, for Shakespeare’s sake, and if he’s not, well, what good is he?
Well, he’s not much good when he is Creativity, but that’s beside the point.
But Thomas needs him to be serious. Patton, for all his lightheartedness, knows how to be serious when the time calls for it. And behind all those jokes and smiles and corny lines that make all of them want to cringe a little, he’s talking about, arguably, the most serious thing there is. What’s right and what’s wrong. No matter how you slice it, that’s serious. And he’s Thomas’s heart! How can you not take that seriously?
Then there’s Virgil, who Roman considers a Light Side. Virgil demands to be taken seriously. Not verbally, but come on, he’s Anxiety. Mental stuff is no joke, and they’ve had enough close calls to know that for sure. Virgil’s a snarky bastard, but he rarely says something he doesn’t actually mean. He keeps them safe when none of the others know what to do and honestly? That’s serious stuff. Virgil’s got enough on his plate.
Then there’s Logan.
Logan.
Roman could go on for days about Logan. He won’t, but he could.
Logan is Logic. Perhaps more than anything else, Thomas needs Logic. And Logan. Logan is always present, whether he’s there physically or not, and his voice is always going to be heard in the conversation sooner or later. He breaks down the biggest problems Roman’s ever seen until they’re manageable chunks, so much so that it’s ridiculous that they were ever big in the first place. He talks them through everything, slowly and surely. He makes everything look easy.
And that’s all the more impressive because Roman knows it’s not.
It’s not easy to do what Logan does. It’s not easy for Logan to always make himself heard. It’s not easy to carry the single brain cell in any given conversation.
But he does and it’s wonderful.
Logan is serious. His job is serious. That doesn’t mean he’s serious all the time, no, Roman’s seen him snap a quip faster than anything with a smirk on his face, and their bond over Crofter’s is legendary. And he knows the gleam that means Logan is immensely satisfied with whatever insult he’s come up with to shut Roman down. Even through the hurt of a new bruise forming on Thomas’s ego, he has to smile because it’s so satisfying to watch someone just be very good at something.
He’s also incredible at calming them all down. He’s so sweet and kind and gentle in all the right ways and you will never convince Roman that Logan knows nothing about emotions. Come on, he’s the most intelligent Side, that extends to emotional intelligence too. The amount of times he’s been able to rip them out of some horrible spiral with just a simple touch or a word is too high for Roman to count. And he never asks for anything, he just does it. Because he’s good like that.
Roman would be an utter, utter fool if he didn’t take Logan seriously. He doesn’t dare underestimate him, never again, not after that rap battle. He doesn’t try to speak over him, not once everyone’s actually paying attention and Logan’s clearly trying to say something. He listens, he tries, he takes him seriously.
But sometimes Logan needs to not be serious! He can see when the strain gets a little too much and he needs to cut someone down to size.
Well, here’s Roman!
And yes, it’s worth it. It’s always worth it. Logan smiles and it’s like the sun comes out. Yes, that’s a cliché but we all know clichés are cliché for a reason. Logan smiles, the sun comes out, and Roman wants to bathe in it. Wants to sit and listen to Logan talk about anything just so he’ll keep smiling, keep talking, keep being Logan. Logan is serious, but serious isn’t always Logan.
Isn’t always.
Most of the time, though…
Most of the time, it looks like Logan is thrilled to not have to stand next to Roman.
Most of the time, it seems like every time Roman opens his mouth, Logan’s trying not to roll his eyes or is just listening out of politeness. And every time he pitches an idea, it seems like Logan’s getting just as much enjoyment out of leaving the meetings as he does when he doesn’t find anything wrong with it.
Most of the time, that 0.5% hangs in the air between them like a moat.
Roman doesn’t want that. Roman doesn’t want Logan to view him as a diametrically opposed foe, he doesn’t want to be Logan’s other side of the coin, he doesn’t want Logan to think he’s only worth 0.5% of a day.
But 0.5% is all he gets if he stays Roman.
It’s not big changes, nothing that would compromise Thomas, but they’re noticeable. At least he hopes so.
He stops singing out loud in the common areas and instead has a headphone in when he wants to listen to something. He reads in the chair—sitting properly, not with his limbs haphazardly thrown about like he’s a newly made life form with no idea how muscles work—and keeps his comments to himself, written down in a notebook or in his head. He asks politely if Logan wants to come on a walk through the Imagination and conjures up something simple. A forest path, or a garden, or a small town road. None of the fantastical woods, magic castles, or treacherous mountains that he’s so fond of, because those are daydreams.
He’s quieter outside of videos. Sure, he’s still as obnoxious as ever when the cameras are on, but they tend to exaggerate themselves when they’re being filmed anyway. So it won’t be too much of a surprise when he’s not like that when the cameras are off. He doesn’t speak as much—well, he doesn’t monologue as much. He speaks when spoken to, he’s as courteous as he knows how to be, and he tries to be serious. Even if his job is anything but.
He could tell you it’s exhausting what he does for the videos and he’d rather not do it when he doesn’t have to.
He could tell you it’s because it would be better for Thomas if they all got along well.
He could tell you it’s because he wants a healthier and more productive working relationship with Logan.
He could tell you all of these things.
Whether or not you believe him is up to you.
…because Roman might be the actor, but he’s never been a particularly good liar. And deep down—not that deep down—we all know why he wants to be more serious, don’t we?
Logan doesn’t like fantasy. Logan doesn’t like excessive noise. Logan doesn’t like someone who can’t be serious.
Logan is kind and perfect and wonderful and smart and so many things.
And above all, Logan is serious.
Roman can work with that.
———————————————————————
“Hey, Specs! Do you have time to brainstorm?”
“It will have to be quick, Roman, I’ve not much time to spare.”
“Oh. That’s alright, then, we can do it later.”
“Are you certain?”
“Of course! I know how important your schedule is for you, please, don’t worry about it.”
“Ah. I see. Well, thank you, Roman.”
They never do end up having that brainstorm. Not alone.
“Logan?”
“Yes, Roman?”
“Would it be alright if I played music? I’ll keep it low.”
“…we can try, though I usually prefer working in silence.”
“Oh, in that case, I’ll just go—“
“Let’s try?”
“If you’re sure.”
Roman ends up getting his headphones after a few minutes.
“Roman?”
“Yes, my d—Logan?”
“…were you going to say something else?”
“No, no, I got lost in my head again, I thought you were…someone else.”
“It may be worth practicing getting out of your head, Roman.”
“I know.”
He never quite manages, but he’s trying.
“Ro—oh.”
“Logan? Is something wrong?”
“You’ve changed your room. Your…your paintings, your drawings, they’re…where did you put them?”
“Oh, I got rid of them.”
“Got rid of them?”
“Yes. Surely you know how difficult it can be to work in a crowded space?”
“…yes, I suppose I do.”
Logan doesn’t comment on the fact that Roman’s room isn’t quite so red anymore either.
“Roman?”
“Yes?”
“This idea, it seems…quite…realistic.”
“Is that not the point, Sp—Logan?”
“Well, yes, I suppose so.”
“Besides, from a practical standpoint, we’re operating with a limited budget here. The scope of the videos has to be adjusted accordingly.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re correct.”
Logan doesn’t mention that it doesn’t necessarily feel like Roman’s idea.
“Roman?”
“Yes?”
“Care to comment?”
“Oh, no, I’m perfectly content.”
“Are you certain?”
“Of course.”
Logan doesn’t ask again.
———————————————————————
Logan is really confused.
Something’s wrong with Roman, that much is obvious, but he can’t figure out what. Roman’s been quiet lately, outside of the videos, but even in the videos, he’s been different. He’s not talking as much anymore, not going on his incredibly passionate rants that one can feel if they just listen hard enough. He’s not risen to the bait for weeks now, preferring instead to…talk. Or listen. His room is suspiciously absent of his paintings and drawings that make Logan want to sit and stare and lose track of time.
And he’s stopped singing.
That’s a definite indicator that something’s wrong.
But he can’t figure out what.
None of them are fighting; Patton and Virgil have noticed that something is different, certainly, but they don’t know—they can’t figure out exactly what. They would have told him if they had a disagreement with Roman, but they haven’t.
Thomas isn’t being affected by it. In fact, he hasn’t noticed that anything’s wrong.
And on the surface, Roman seems fine, but Logan knows better.
He stops in front of his whiteboard, staring hard at the pieces of information he has written down.
Roman is no longer singing or playing music out loud outside of his room.
Roman is changing the ideas that he brings to the brainstorming sessions. He claims they are meant to be more ‘practical’ and easier to budget.
Roman does not insist that we spend time with him anymore.
Roman is quiet and no longer engages in ‘banter’ exchanges with me.
Roman no longer brings me to the elaborate places in the Imagination.
Roman no longer gives me nicknames.
Has…has Logan done something to Roman?
He doesn’t think he has. He hasn’t—he hasn’t shot down any ideas lately, and certainly none so much as to trigger such a drastic change. There have been no arguments. There have been no big changes for Thomas.
He finds himself twisting the cap of the marker back and forth as he focuses on the period at the end of the last sentence written. Perhaps…perhaps Roman is simply going through a rough patch? Occasionally the prince will lapse into a ‘grayer’ state, for lack of a better term, where he exhibits fewer of his energetic tendencies, but none have gone on for such a duration. Additionally, his behavior in videos has not altered as significantly as would indicate this as the cause.
Perhaps I should try to talk to him about it.
Logan nods sharply to himself and turns, walking out of his room toward Roman’s. The red door looms there, slightly ajar. Frowning, Logan raps on it gently with his knuckles.
“Roman? May I come in?”
No response.
“Roman?” Logan eases the door open. “Roman?”
No sign of Roman. The bathroom door isn’t locked, his laptop isn’t open, his phone is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Roman simply forgot to close his door all the way. Logan shuts it carefully and turns to head downstairs.
“Virgil? Patton?”
Virgil glances up from his phone. “What’s up, L?”
Ignoring the little flutter in his chest at the first nickname he’s been called in a while, Logan adjusts his glasses and glances around. “Have you seen Roman?”
Virgil shakes his head. “Pat? Have you?”
“I think he said he was going into the Imagination but he’d be back for dinner?”
Logan nods. “Thank you both.”
“Logan?”
“Yes?”
“Can you, uh—“ Patton wrings his hands for a moment— “can you ask him what’s wrong for us?”
“Princey’s been off for a while, we wanna know why but he won’t tell us.”
Logan blinks. “Considering I was on my way to ask him the same thing, I take it he’s been as…hesitant to share any information with you as he has with me?”
Their nods make something twist in his chest.
“If he’s gonna tell anyone,” Virgil mutters as he turns to go, “it’ll be you.”
Logan pauses. “Excuse me?”
Virgil shrugs. “You’re his favorite, L. He thinks the sun shines outta your face.”
Despite himself, Logan feels heat rush to his cheeks. “I’m quite sure you’re confusing me for Patton, Virgil.”
“Oh, no, Princey’s got it bad f—“
“Virgil!”
“Oh come on,” Virgil groans, his head lolling on the couch as he turns to look at Patton, “you’ve noticed it too.”
“But that’s not our secret to tell!”
“Shit. Yeah, you’re right. Oops.”
“Wait, wait,” Logan stammers, quickly trying to get a grasp of the situation, “you—Roman what?”
Virgil shakes his head. “Nope. Sorry, Logan. I already fucked up. You’re gonna have to ask him. And hey, you were on your way to do just that!”
Logan narrows his eyes but Virgil shrugs, undaunted. He turns and pointedly does not run up the stairs.
The door to the Imagination is ajar. He takes a deep breath and pushes it open, expecting to meet some fantastical landscape, a village, or a castle, perhaps.
He doesn’t expect to wander into what looks like the grand foyer of some Victorian mansion.
The door shuts behind him with a thud that echoes gently around the room. His shoes aren’t particularly loud but his steps make resounding clicks as he walks through the halls. The walls are elegantly crafted, with artful splashes of color here and there. He comes to a grand staircase and has to swallow heavily at the richness of the wood under his fingers as he climbs slowly, slowly up.
There’s something here, he decides, that’s not been here for a while. Not since he started accompanying Roman more often. He remembers the first time, where he’d wearily said he didn’t have the patience for an adventure and had been pleasantly surprised by Roman’s offer of a simple walk. Each walk after that had been lovely, truly, but it was always painfully obvious that it was in the Imagination.
Now, though? Now the walls seem to curve about Logan as he walks, like petals of a flower curve about its center. The house seems to hold him, cradle him almost as he walks slowly through it. He can almost feel a gentle hand at the base of his spine, between his shoulder blades, under his chin. It takes no effort to keep walking, to discover more and more of this truly beautiful house, to look and look and look without fear of his eyes hurting or his head growing weary.
It feels like Roman, he realizes with a giddy bubble in his chest, this is Roman’s work. Roman is here.
That realization gives him enough courage to call out.
“Roman? Roman, are you here?”
“Logan?”
“Roman!” He turns around, trying to trace the echoes to their source. “Where are you?”
“I’m in the library, keep walking toward the back of the hall.”
Logan’s steps beat out an eager pace as he begins to hurry towards Roman’s voice. He meets a wide set of mahogany doors and pushes them open, looking for—
“Oh,” he murmurs as the doors swing wide, “oh, this is…magnificent.”
If he were—well, if he were Roman, he’d compare this to the library the Beast gifts Belle. The shelves tower over his head, two full floors of books stretching out almost as far as he can see. As he looks closer, he realizes this is a theatre, with the seats replaced with shelves. At the back of the library stands the stage, converted into a seating area with as many plush couches and overstuffed armchairs as one could ever want. Curtains drape themselves across a vast window, golden sunlight streaming inside. And on the window seat, standing as the doors fly open, is Roman.
“Roman, my goodness—“
“Whoa, easy, Logan,” Roman chuckles, catching Logan carefully by the elbows as he rushes through the library, “you’ll knock yourself over at this rate.”
“This is magnificent,” Logan manages, still looking around in awe—goodness, there are some books here that he’s only seen in passing— “how—how did you do this?”
“I’ve always had it,” Roman says, guiding him to sit on the window seat and crouching in front of him, “it’s my library.”
“This—this is yours?”
Half of Roman’s mouth tugs up into that crooked smile. “Yeah, Logan. This is mine. You didn’t think I just let my books lie around, did you?”
“But you—you—you’ve never shown this to me. To anyone.”
The smile falters. “Well, no.”
Logan takes a moment to actually look at Roman. Roman quirks his eyebrow as he notices the questioning gaze. His costume is a little less pristine than normal. There’s something slightly different about his expression. And his sword is nowhere to be seen.
“May I—can I ask why not?”
Roman smiles ruefully, glancing over Logan’s shoulder before dropping his gaze to the ground.
“When I need to think,” he says after a moment, “or just…sit for a little, I come here.”
He rests his hand on the seat next to Logan.
“I sit right here, and I think. I look outside into the garden. I watch the clouds. Or I stare at the shelves, and think about the books.”
He gestures behind him.
“Sometimes I’ll see people bustling through them, or characters diving in between pages.” The smile becomes a touch more wistful. “Or I’ll hear water rushing, or wind howling.”
He looks back. Logan’s mouth drops open at the openness of Roman’s expression.
“But mostly,” he finishes in a near whisper, “I just sit. And think. Because I can.”
“…this is your space,” Logan mumbles as he puts it together, “that’s…that’s why you haven’t shown anyone.”
Roman nods.
Logan should apologize. He should apologize and leave. He should never have expected that this would be alright.
But the thought of leaving this library, this house, Roman feels…so, so heavy.
“It’s alright, Logan,” Roman says patiently, sitting on the floor, “what did you need? Am I late for dinner?”
He shakes himself, sternly reminding his brain that he’s being rude now. “No, no, nothing of the sort, I simply needed to find you.”
Roman spreads his arms wide. “Well, you found me. Congratulations.”
It’s so close to the banter Logan misses that he finds himself smiling. “Thank you. Shall I assume to claim my prize now, then?”
“Mm, and what prize would that be?”
Roman blinks up at him expectantly when he doesn’t answer right away. There are several questions on the tip of his tongue and they war with each other.
What’s wrong?
Are you alright?
Did something happen?
The others and I have noticed changes in your behavior, could you explain them?
Did I do something wrong?
Can I stay here?
What did Virgil almost tell me?
“I’ve lost something,” Logan blurts instead, swallowing the lump in his throat when Roman blinks again, startled, “and I need you to help me find it.”
“Oh. Well, that should be easy enough. Where did you last see it?”
“Wait!”
Logan catches a startled Roman by his sleeve as he’s in the middle of getting up. He sits back down slowly, still staring at Logan.
“I don’t know where I lost it,” he says, because it’s the truth. Even for all his immaculate time-keeping, he can’t pinpoint the moment he lost Roman.
“That does make it more difficult,” Roman muses, tapping his fingers on his chin, “well, can you tell me what it is? Maybe I’ve seen it.”
I’m sure you have.
Logan takes a deep breath.
“I didn’t realize it was gone, at first,” he begins, “only that it—something changed. It was quieter. Rooms felt less…I believe ‘alive’ is the only word I can use to adequately describe it.”
Roman catches on to the fact he’s speaking about something abstract quickly. Though, of course he did, he’s very intelligent. He sits up a little straighter and takes Logan’s hand in both of his. That in itself is enough to make Logan swallow again.
“It was more difficult to continue working,” he says after a moment, looking at the ground, “because I didn’t know what was missing. I didn’t know whether the fault lay with myself or with Thomas or how to go about fixing it. I couldn’t think of anything.”
Roman makes a noise of sympathy, squeezing Logan’s hand.
“Of course, once I realized it was missing, I did all I could to find it.” He adjusts his glasses. “I gathered all the information I could to see what had gone wrong.”
“And,” Roman prompts gently, “what did you find?”
“It’s not in my room. It’s not in the kitchen. It’s not in the Imagination, or at least it wasn’t when I was there.”
Logan closes his eyes.
“It doesn’t make me fight back a smile every time I see it, because I am only concerned. It doesn’t make me look forward to seeing it, because it doesn’t seem to be happy to see me. It doesn’t make me want to say how important it is to me, because it doesn’t—“
“…doesn’t what, Logan?”
“…it doesn’t even give me a nickname anymore.”
Roman freezes.
Logan opens his eyes and looks at Roman, seeing his face turn pale.
“I’ve lost the one I love,” he confesses, “and I don’t know where he’s gone.”
———————————————————————
Roman’s heart stops.
Logan—Logan—L—
Logan loves him?
Logan loves him?
“Please,” Logan says in that soft, soft voice that makes Roman want to combust, “can you help me find him?”
“Wait, wait, Logan, you—you what?”
Logan shifts forward, cupping Roman’s hand. “Where did you go, Roman? Something happened, you left.”
“N-no, Logan, I didn’t go anywhere.”
“You did,” he corrects, “you…you’ve been different. You’ve been quieter, you haven’t taken me on any adventures—“
“I’ve taken you into the Imagination!”
“—and you stopped singing,” Logan finishes. Roman’s chest throbs with the way Logan���s voice cracks on the last word. “You left, Roman, where did you go?”
“I—I was trying to—to—“ Roman swallows heavily. “Wait, you love me?”
Logan blinks, tilting his head. “Of course, yes, I love you, Roman.”
Roman’s face flares. “You can’t—you can’t just say that, Logan.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll believe you. I’ll—“ the urge to bury his face in his hands burns but he can’t, can’t pull away from Logan—“I’ll believe you.”
Logan hums. “And why shouldn’t you believe me?”
An incredulous laugh forces its way out of his throat. “Because you can’t love me.”
He slams his eyes shut as Logan starts to move away. He’s ruined it. He’s ruined so much of his hard work. He’s destroyed it. He’s hurt Logan. How could he?
“And why can’t I love you, Roman?”
He laughs again, though this one might be technically considered a sob. “Because I’m loud! I’m obnoxious, I want to spend all my time daydreaming, I’m so out of touch with the real world, I never want to be serious, I’m—I’m—“
“Passionate,” Logan interrupts quietly, something still cupping his hand, “optimistic. Hardworking.”
Roman huffs. “That’s not special.”
“Intelligent.”
Now he does laugh. “Not compared to you.”
Logan’s stifled noise is enough to make him open his eyes. He frowns up at Logan. He looks…heartbroken.
“Roman,” he murmurs, “do you honestly believe that?”
He squirms uncomfortably on the floor. “…it’s not like it isn’t obvious. El principe es estupido.”
“It’s far from obvious, Roman,” Logan insists, “why do you think I enjoy our verbal sparring so much?”
“You what?”
“I respect and admire your intelligence. You’re—well, not to insult the others when they’re not here to defend themselves, but you’re the only one who really keeps up with me.” Logan smiles at him. He smiles at him. “And you’re kind, Roman. Relentlessly so, sometimes.”
Roman can only gape at him.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed everything you do,” Logan chides gently, “I do notice. And I am so thankful for it. But this…” He gives Roman’s hand another squeeze. “This I don’t understand. Where did you go, Roman?”
“I—I…” Roman swallows. “I thought I was doing it for you.”
“For me?”
“Y-you like serious things! You don’t want to be seen as a joke and I’ve never seen you as a joke, Logan, you have to believe me, and I thought that—that I—“
“Roman—“
“I make fun of the things I love, Logan!” Roman’s throat almost aches from the strain of saying it out loud. “And you—you don’t like it when we’re not serious and I’m not serious so I—I thought if I—if—if—“
“You changed so I would…love you?”
Roman shakes his head shamefully. “So you would tolerate me.”
“Oh, little star—“
Roman lets out an oof as Logan tugs him forward, his knees hitting the ground roughly as he pulls Roman into a hug. He’s warm, he’s so warm and so Logan…the frames of his glasses are cool against the side of Roman’s face, the knot of his tie pressing into the hollow of his chest. And he’s being so sweet, so tender as he holds Roman on the floor of the library.
Roman clutches him back. It’s been agony, not being able to touch him, not even the barest brush of shoulders or knocking their elbows together. But now Logan is here and he can have this.
“I don’t want serious,” he hears Logan murmur, “not from you. Alright, sometimes, yes, I want you to listen but never to be that serious. You’re—you’re you, Roman. That’s what I want.”
Oh.
Oh.
He laughs as the tears start to fall onto Logan’s collar. “You found me, Logan.”
Logan just gives him a squeeze. “I did, little star.”
Oh, Roman was not prepared for that. Instead, he can hear Logan chuckle as he tenses for a moment.
“No?”
“Yes,” Roman blurts out quickly, fumbling with his clumsy tongue, “yes. So much yes.”
“Yes, it is then, little star.”
He hums contentedly, burying his nose in the crook of Logan’s neck. “You found me,” he whispers, rocking them back and forth, “and I found you.”
“Yes, little star, you found me.” Logan pulls back to cup his face, a comforting noise escaping him at the evidence of drying tears. “And now…please, don’t leave me?”
“Never, Logan,” he swears, “never again.”
He gets to see that wonderful soft glow on Logan’s face for a moment longer before that gleam—oh, that wonderful gleam—comes back as he arches an eyebrow.
“No? Then why am I still ‘Logan?’”
Oh. So that’s how this is going to go, hmm? Roman lets a little more darkness slip into his smirk than he normally would. It only grows wider as Logan looks a little surprised.
“My dearest darling nerd,” he purrs, “if you wanted me to lavish you with pet names, you know you need only ask.”
“That is not what I meant,” Logan says firmly, undone a little by the blush now fanning his cheeks.
Roman chuckles. “Oh, what’s wrong, my sweet little pi, is this not what you wanted?”
“R-Roman!”
“Goodness, Logan, your face is so warm.” Roman’s arms come up to hug him as he buries his face in his neck. “What, you can dish it out but you can’t take it?”
“You’re one to talk,” comes the slightly muffled reply, “you were blushing from my pet name too.”
“Ah, yes, how could I forget? ‘Little star,’ well…” Roman cups the back of Logan’s neck and brings that darling face back out to smile at. “If I’m the star, then you must be the whole galaxy.”
Logan tries to frown. Bless him, he tries, but he’s so flustered that it turns into this adorable pout as he leans back to get up.
“Oh, no, no, no,” Roman chuckles, wrapping his arms and legs tightly around him, “you stay right here in my lap.”
“Roman!”
“What?” He tilts his head. “Can you think of anywhere better to be than right here, in my lap…with me?”
He can’t help the note of vulnerability that slips in at the end. Maybe Logan doesn’t want this, maybe he is too much, maybe he just ruined it…
“No,” Logan murmurs after a moment, “I guess I can’t.”
And really, it is marvelous, there on the floor, golden sunlight streaming over them, in the library, surrounded by the quiet shelves and safe hallways of the house.
———————————————————————
“I have to ask,” Roman says, giving Logan a little shake after a moment, “how did you…?”
“Find out?”
“Mm.”
“Well…” Logan toys with Roman’s collar. “I was coming to ask you about it anyway, but Virgil—“
“Virgil?” Roman raises an eyebrow. “He said something now, did he?”
Logan squints at him. “…why do I have a feeling there’s more to this than you’re telling me?”
Roman shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter, not really.”
“Now that I don’t believe for an instant.”
“It got me my Logan,” Roman says softly, leaning forward to rub their noses together, “didn’t it?”
“…well yes, I suppose it did.”
Roman hums contentedly, cuddling into Logan like a lazy cat, sprawled out in the sunlight to nuzzle its kitten. A…surprisingly sweet image. The Imagination—Roman’s Imagination must be affecting him.
There are worse fates.
“But I can’t imagine,” he says after a moment, “that a prince such as yourself can allow such a slight?”
The grin on Roman’s face is priceless.
“Virgil,” Roman sings as they fling open the door to the rest of the Mindscape, and goodness Logan can’t tell you how much he’s missed that voice— “I have a question for you!”
Logan hears muffled cursing coming from the living room.
“What’s up, Princey?”
“Well our dearest Specs here just told me something very interesting—“ he winks at Logan— “and I would love to hear your side of the story.”
“Oh, uh, really? Well, that’s cool. On an unrelated note, I’m gonna be in my room for the foreseeable future.”
“Hmmm…not if I get there before you!”
“Shit!”
“My darling,” Roman says softly, pressing a kiss to the back of Logan’s hand, “will you excuse me one moment, please?”
And what is Logan supposed to do but agree? Roman is back.
“I’ll be with you shortly.”
Roman tears off down the hallway after Virgil, their shouts filling the Mindscape once more.
General Taglist:@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @theaceofcrows @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner
#sanders sides#patton sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#roman angst#roman sanders angst#virgil sanders#dragonbabbles#fic#logince
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Live Watch: S.C.I. Mystery Episode One
I enjoy camp because I've always enjoyed analysis and examination. I enjoy looking at something from all sides, testing it with my fingertips. When I was a child I would sit for hours just looking at something until I had it all held in my mind and I felt like I understood it. Camp necessitates that understanding the way that imitation and - good - parody requires it. To quote Susan Sontag - who articulated what camp is so well - Camp is "a sensibility that revels in artifice, stylisation, theatricalisation, irony, playfulness, and exaggeration rather than content." Because of this camp takes on head to head gender, sexuality, expectations, any sort of defined norm and sequins it up then shakes it down until understanding comes out. When understanding something there are three major ways to work your investigation - what it is, what it's imitation is - the close but not quite, and what it isn't. Camp handles all three, to quote again: "Camp sees everything in quotation marks. It's not a lamp, but a 'lamp; not a woman, but a 'woman.'"
Why are we talking about camp? Because SCI Mystery is some of the best kind of camp outside of drag or screaming about wire hangers. It deals a lot with mental illness in a way that would destroy a serious show, but in this one "mental illness" is a metaphor for being marginalised and a way to talk about the mouse and cat in the room. This show is about being queer. About being gay loudly and quietly, about resisting specific labels and needing them, about the threat of a cure and the blessing of acceptance. All the messy realities of queer life as varied as queer people. Like Lil Nas X's Montero, you can appreciate the effort without being comfortable with it. While the show's allegory of mental illness when many queer people are still told they are ill is done well and there is reason to the choices and tone, things are said which can be hard to hear. Knowing they're there because they're hard to hear and have been heard doesn't help everyone.
With all that said, it's also a fun, silly bl drama. Don't let the analysis scare you off. While the information about camp can be something to be aware of, all this show requires to be enjoyed is a willingness to be amused and spooked in turns.
You know the drill, spoilers below!
* I have memorised the youku sound, I have a triggered response with it. Not all triggers are bad, this one reminds me of Guardian
* Welcome to episode one where we just leap in! But don't worry, one of them has a cute earring and they are colour coordinated.
* Watching from youtube the episode is 38 minutes long while most of the others are 45. Attach whatever emotion you want to that fact.
* The exposition is handily delivered by asking a question which tells us some things, thank you show, I appreciate it
* First episode and he's already giving his partner an in case I don't come back letter to be opened if he dies
* Wait for me!~ Go!~~
* Slow walk with dramatic music: 1 (don't make this a drinking game You Will Expire) this time with bonus almost looking back
* I've seen a similar shot on Hawaii Five O
* Don't explain what's happening, just knock everything over with a jump kick in some absolutely spotless white tennies
* Running with dramatic music with bonus looking back: Does it count? We have yet to hear back from the judges
* They leap into the water with an explosion behind them, we are less than 2 minutes in and I love that for them
* At first I thought the boats were making a big heart before I remembered that I am very silly and they are not doing that
* This one is going to be long
* I can see his pockets through his trousers, why are his trousers so thin?
* It's not kissing to dramatic music in the surf if it's CPR
* Each story line has its own intro and that's very sexy of them
* Slow walk/dramatic music: 2-6
* These people are totally goofy and and yet the Seriousness
* Two Weeks Ago!
* The police school bus has arrived to shoo away the crows circling around Dr. Zhan staring (dramatically) at the body
* Sport scar policeman dresses even more unprofessionally than Zhao Yunlan who at least looks like a detective who was jumped by so many criminals he just gave up wearing a suit and went for jeans. Chief Bai's clothes are so thin, I'm under constant anxiety someone is going to tear them off.
* Also several of the cast pictures on MyDramaList look like the pictures your auntie insists taking to send to your other aunties and I love that for them
* Triple axil spin from the victim, the judges are loving it - this is the camp I'm here for
* The dramatic slo mo and music budget for this show was so big, just as it should be
* He's mad because he's angy
* Master Psychiatrist can tell all about the killer from crouching by the body, it's a trope and this is one of the few places I like it because it serves the show instead of the show serving it
* When you're almost boyfriend is going away for reasons and it's not your decision but you can't go with him because of your job so you're just low key bitter about it
* "You can't control me"
* The pettiness between these two
* Professional women who worked hard to get where they are still are constantly obsessed with boys according to most cdramas
*The male posturing in those three second has accidentally circled back around to being gay in the way those bro shows accidentally do and I love that
* I live for this 80s-90s police chief perm
* The Pettiness
* I always tend to like doctor characters, I don't know why. Even when they aren't my favourites I like them.
* She's kind of adorable, I like her (I've seen a lot of this show and every time I say I like someone it ends badly ;-; )
* "the victems"
* If you love Creative English, this is the show for you!
* Chief Bai's crew is trying so hard to get them back together
* Dr. Zhan is so good at psychology he can tell what someone looks like from some tire tracks - this trope is used all the time in crime shows, but they push it a little farther in SCI and it really helps the viewer know what the rules for the show are
* The scene in the psychiatrist's office hearkens back to queer coded villains and the way they're treated in old black and white horror cinema - but done so artfully it's almost invisible. It's incredibly well done, and the awareness of tropes and types all throughout the series is tremendously successful as much as it's campy fun.
* There's also the trope of someone who manipulates someone into feeling like they've been "purified" and then weaponises them against the "filthy". And of course the fact that the killer's blade is a mirror - that he's killing in others what he sees in himself. This trope hasn't just been queer-coded but has been applied to any sort of physical or mental disorder. Thesis have been written about this trope and the anxiety attached to it. I can't write them better and this is long enough, it's just a small part of the excellent handling of the themes showing up in this genre and I wanted to point it out because it deserves appreciation for the skill and knowledge in the writing.
* The whole you need evidence vs you're saying psychoanalysis isn't trustworthy feels very much like a coded angry exes discussion
* I love the establishing shots, so good
* He kind of deserved that door to the face, what was he even doing
* Police violence in crime shows is supposed to be a release for the viewer, but many countries have issues with police violence so it hits wrong. Here it's far more performative in a way that at least has some awareness
* The weirdest phone call, you call someone to tell them something important and they say two things to you and hang up
* The tongue thing, why always the tongue thing?
* When a serial killer tries to compliment you by calling you a carnivore and you shut down the whole alpha male supposition by calling yourself a vegetarian
* At this point I've written almost fifteen hundred words and taken almost two hours to watch 23 minutes
* This is my life, these are my choices
* Dutch Angles
* You could make this conversation about being gay, I have had this conversation about homosexuality before
* Unfortunately while I had it I was on the bus trapped in a window seat
* The conversation didn't end with me saying something cool and everyone clapping
* They just got off the bus to go to work
* The banality of evil, yo
* Her shorts are Incredibly Short, good for her
* "arrest the perp behind my back" that's his job, broheim
* He doesn't ask why she checked behind their ears
* DUN dun dun!
* Slo mo file drop, and of course the file is blood stained and aged
* Chalk Art of Doom
* Chinese word play!
* Caught almost putting his coat over his crush, embarrassing XD
* Backstory!
* I love all the little character details, I could quote lines I think are funny all day but that would start getting silly
* Bai Yu Tong is marked as clean and having OCD but we don't see what's apparently a huge character trait at all other than the all white, do love that he's good at cooking
* Dr. Zhan: Brilliant! Genius! Cannot feed himself.
* Dr. Gong has indifference level 100% which is true and also I love that for him
* I love that Wang Shao part of the team because he's good at making friends, I love that for him
* Poor Zhao Fu: scared of ghosts and dumb and sweet? At least he has an 8 pack
* Jiang Lin is very tropey except the mention of her nearsightedness
* Ma Han's height 1.7m and legs 1.8m is hilarious and I love it
* I stopped recording the slo mo walks, but if you were drinking along with them you might be dead so I really appreciate you taking time out of your afterlife to continue reading. We appreciate all our ghost readers
* And that's the first episode! Thanks for making it to the end!
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Top 10 Scariest Horror Films You Didn't Know Were Based On A TRUE Story feat. Trailers + Where To Watch
There’s something about horror films that are based on real events that just make me weak.
So weak, in fact, I’ve decided to spend the last *checks watch* one and a half years of my early 20s delving into the facts and the fiction haunting the horror genre.
My parents must be so proud.
Most of these films wear the badge of ‘this is reality or close enough to it, anyway’ with dignity, leveraging gullible paranormalists like me to drive ticket sales. The Conjuring (2013) is just one of these films that is explicit in its basis in reality, going on to rake in 16 times its budget and inspiring me to delve deeper into my occultist journey.
(No, really, they’re so proud.)
But the ventures of Ed and Lorraine Warren are not the only experiences of horrifying and haunting events to be reinterpreted via the silver screen. There are some horror films you wouldn’t expect to have reality flushing through their veins.
Some of horror’s biggest hitters aren’t just living in your nightmares. They actually happened IRL.
Which is, ummm, fine, yeah, it’s not like I need to sleep anyway.
*Stay tuned to discover the horror films you didn’t know were based on true stories and the real accounts that inspired them.*
Jaws (1975)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fu_sA7XhE
This cinematic classic follows the adventures of a great white shark as it terrorises the summer resort town of Amity. A couple of corpses later, and the local police chief, rookie marine biologist, and wild-card shark hunter track the beast down themselves.
Most horror films use a person or a story as a basis for a film. Jaws, however, is an amalgamation of experiences recorded by the writer of the novel inspiring the film, Peter Benchley.
Benchley admittedly had a life-long obsession with sharks and was inspired to write a book on a rogue great white after reading about a bloke called Frank Mundus.
"...in 1964, I read an item in a newspaper about a fisherman who harpooned a 4,500-pound great white shark off Long Island. I remember thinking at the time, Lord! What would happen if one of those monsters came into a resort community and wouldn't go away?”
Quint, the wild card shark hunter, was based directly on Mundus.
Another influence, although not referenced by Benchley, was the 1916 New Jersey shark attacks.
In high summer, five Americans were attacked by a great white off the coast of the Jersey Shore with 4 falling victim to their wounds. For the next 11 days, the same shark cruised along the 70 miles of the beach towns and small villages. The shark even performed the first shark attack reported in US history, countering the long-standing belief that sharks couldn’t bite through human bone.
(Spoiler alert: they can.)
When beach goers came to the beach early morning to discover the 3rd victim bitten in half, this was disproven. After that discovery - which bares a striking resemblance to the opening scenes of Jaws - the story hit The New York Times front page.
Just like the film the mayors tried to deny there was a deadly shark making the rounds to secure profit to their seaside resorts. And just like the film a swimmer was even mauled in an estuary.
It wasn’t long before they settled on the identity of the perpetrator and the locals set off with rifles and pitchforks.
(Not sure how useful they’d be against a shark, but okay.)
The shark met its end after it attacked one of the hunters’ boats, a scene we also witness in the film.
You can rent it for £2.50 on Amazon Prime.
Deliver Us From Evil (2014)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWDM_p68HAQ
We follow a policeman who has a side gig as an exorcist as he encounters strange goings on in the Bronx. Ralph Sarchie chases up the paranormal activity and attempts to untangle why possessed people are painting ancient messages and images in various places.
Here’s the thing: none of this actually happened. As far as we know, anyway.
What this film is based on is the real Ralph Sarchie who wrote the memoir Beware The Night as an ode to his work as a demonologist. It’s based on his character, his tone of voice, and how he carried out his work.
Sarchie presents his work as his destiny, as some form of divine intervention he believes was signalled by his survival of a severe illness he contracted when he was 10.
He claims to carry a splinter of the ‘true cross’ - I guess the one Jesus actually died on - and considers himself more of a priestly figure armed with relics and holy water than a paranormal investigator.
Sarchie has worked on many possessions and hauntings, claiming he didn’t charge a cent despite the high fee he probably got from the book sales and the film’s debut. The most famous tale is that of the ‘Halloween Horror’:
A woman named Gabby began to see a woman floating in a cloud of white smoke in the corner of her bedroom. It wasn’t long before this smoky woman began to speak through Gabby according to her partner Dominick.
Gabby’s friend then says this was the ghost of a woman murdered on her wedding night. She then apparently saw the spirit of her father. Activity followed with flying books, moans and growls, and the word ‘HELP’ written on the mirror. Eventually an incubus rocks up and is hell bent on attacking various family members.
When Gabby gets possessed in the presence of Sarchie and his paranormal-busting-partner, he exorcises her of the spirit.
In total, Sarchie has assisted in 25 exorcisms and hundreds of ‘house exorcisms’.
You can watch it for free on Netflix.
The Blob (1958/1988)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdUsyXQ8Wrs
*cue the canned screams*
In some rural town in America, a meteorite crashes to the ground. Someone investigates and a jelly globule attaches itself to their hand before consuming it. It then begins to consume their entire body. It’s not long before it starts to consume, well, everyone and everything in its path.
8 years before the horror icon first became a cult classic, two police officers in Philadelphia saw something float down from the sky. They thought it was a parachute and decided to investigate.
What they discovered was a six feet wide purple glob of odourless gloop. It was filled with crystals and gave off a mist. One of the police officers took the plunge - quite literally - and dipped a hand in. He kept the hand, but noticed the sticky residue left on his hands.
The gloop quickly disappeared and left the grass underneath it unbent. It was allegedly only there for 25 minutes. They were the only ones that saw it. It soon made its way into the press and the FBI asked the Air Force to investigate. They declined.
You can watch it for £3.50 on Amazon Prime.
Wolf Creek (2005)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S13W69FQhs
Two British tourists are backpacking across Australia when they run into trouble in Wolf Creek National Park. A helpful local offers to help fix their broken down car and provide some shelter. Turns out the helpful local is actually a psychopathic xenophobic murderer. He entraps tourists, lures them to his shelter, and tortures/kills them.
Most gory horror films can be compared to real life murders and other crimes. Unfortunately, even the most imaginative forms of torture or murder has probably already happened. But the film was directly based on the backpacker murders committed by Ivan Milat in the 90s.
Milat murdered 7 people aged 19 to 22, preying on those encouraged to backpack across Australia after several tourism campaigns revealed how cheap and easy it was. In ‘92 and ‘93 the bodies were discovered in Belanglo State Forest with the wounds and injuries suggesting the scenes played out in film were similar to those Milat committed.
In late ‘93 a force dedicated to hunting the unknown killer emerged. It used gym memberships, gun licensing, and police records to narrow down a list of 32 suspects.
It was only when Paul Onions, a British backpacker reported he was nearly murdered near Belanglo State Forest that the police could pinpoint that Milat.
You can watch it for £2 on Amazon Prime.
Open Water (2004)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9q1qJi1nMs
It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: being left in the middle of the ocean. A distant couple decide to take a relaxing break and head out for a scuba-diving vacation. Their holiday is ruined, however, when the guy driving the boat f*cks up the head count and thinks everyone is back on board after a diving sesh. The couple come back to the surface and discover the boat is gone.
Yep, this all happened in real life.
In 1998, Thomas and Eileen Lonergan went on a scuba diving trip to Australia’s Coral Sea. They were mistakenly stranded by the boat crew leading the dive and their absence wasn’t noticed until 2 days later when a bag containing their belongings was discovered.
The crew and other rescue teams searched the area but did not discover their bodies. Personal belongings were found.
A diver’s slate - a device for communicating underwater - was one of these items.
"Monday Jan 26; 1998 08am. To anyone who can help us: We have been abandoned on A[gin]court Reef by MV Outer Edge 25 Jan 1998 3pm. Please help to rescue us before we die. Help!!!"
The other items that washed up, including a wetsuit, suggested they had probably not fallen victim to shark attacks but had become disoriented, dehydrated, or injured by coral. Alternate theories claim it may have been a murder-suicide to avoid the slow, distressing death of being left at sea, or that it was a faked death/disappearance. No bank accounts had been tampered with, however.
Tougher regulations for scuba-diving in Australia shortly followed their disappearance.
You can watch it for free on Amazon Prime.
The Rite (2011)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hG3ktopqv8
We follow exorcist-in-training Father Gary Thomas as he navigates the loss of this faith. When the opportunity for fighting growing demonic possessions arises, Thomas decides to become an exorcist. We see Thomas as he is confronted by evil and reaffirms his devotion to God.
Portrayed by veteran actor Anthony Hopkins, Father Gary Thomas is a real American exorcist - one of the 14 Vatican-verified exorcists working State-side. He did in fact study in the Vatican to become an exorcist, and another student he met there would chronicle his experiences in the book The Rite: The Making of a Modern Exorcist.
Thomas even spent a week on set advising the director, utilising his experiences of the 100 odd people he had seen possessed in his career.
Just like in the film, Thomas echoes that most people that come to him for an exorcism have been abused in their past, linking mental health issues to demonic attachment. Thomas also has a lot of praise for the film, claiming the way those possessed moved in a serpentine way is accurate to those he has seen:
“I was beginning to do some deliverance prayers. Within a few minutes she began to tremor and her facial countenance began to change. You saw a snake. She began sticking her tongue out like a snake and hissing and rolling her eyes. She coiled herself up.”
- Father Gary Thomas on a possessed Venezualan woman
You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.
The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6Mm8Sbe__o
Anthony Hopkins refers to a staple horror film - a film with truth spilling like blood from a bloated corpse…
This psychological horror sees an FBI trainee as they work with an imprisoned serial killer to hunt down a murderer, Buffalo Bill. Add in just a dash of transphobia and we arrive at the film that made my parents actually walk out of the cinema when they first saw it.
First, let’s talk about Hannibal Lecter and his role as an advisor to the FBI: this has actually happened, using a seasoned killer to catch another. The most famous example of this is none other than Ted Bundy, one of the most infamous in history. Bundy told investigators to stake out the graves of victims or the places where bodies had been dumped as necrophiles like himself would return to the site.
Bundy actually helped them catch Gary Ridgeway who killed an estimated 90 people.
Now let’s turn to Buffalo Bill. The characters were never directly inspired by real people but their crimes were. He was an amalgamation of other crimes with Ed Gein serving as the main inspiration. Ed Gein, most known for skinning his victims and wearing the skins, took 9 lives and would also inspire the character Norman Bates.
He would make clothing out of body parts, make soup bowls from dug-up skulls, and build chairs from human bones.
Ted Bundy even made another appearance in Buffalo Bill’s character in terms of how he lures his victims, acting hurt and helpless until the victim was just within reach.
You can buy this film on Amazon Prime for £8.
Scream (1996)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWm_mkbdpCA
This satirical slasher redefined the genre, putting comedy firmly into horror as we know it. It follows Sidney Prescott, a preppy high school student, as she navigates high school drama and a rampant serial killer.
Just like The Silence Of The Lambs, the crimes witnessed in Scream had basis in reality. Daniel Rolling - the Gainesville Ripper - was an American serial killer who murdered 5 students in Florida within the short span of 4 days back in 1990.
Rolling would sexually assault, rape, threaten, and kill his young victims before leaving them in ‘sexual’ positions. He even decapitated one of those murdered and left the head on the shelf opposite the rest of the body amongst other vile acts. He later claimed his motive was to become a ‘superstar’ like Ted Bundy.
Yeah, that’s enough of that.
You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.
The Hills Have Eyes (1977/2006)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUQd9OB75dw
It’s time to hear about another vacay gone cray-cray. In the middle of a roadtrip to California, a family’s car breaks down in a mysterious area closed off to the public and they encounter a strange community of cannibals.
Instead of being based on modern crimes that hit far too close to home, this film is based on a historic event - or the legend of Sawney Bean.
Bean was a mythical leader of a cannibalistic group of insurgents in the 16th century. He grew up in a community of witches and later began his own community full of his children which he expanded with rampant incest. They would leave traps and eat their prey in a cave.
The King of Scotland, James VI, even led a team to root the family out of their lair. According to legend they were burnt at the stake while others were hung.
This tale also bears similarities to urban legends from Russia: there is a trope in the Southern Urals which claims after the Chernobyl accident irradiated peoples would become savage peoples, echoing the nuclear testing themes shown by the film.
You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1978)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKn9QIaMgtQ
In this cult class gore-fest we see a group of friends visit an old homestead but instead run into a family of murderous cannibals.
Yet again the crimes of Ed Gein make an appearance. The friends walk in on a home full of furniture made of human remains and meet a man - Leatherface - wearing a mask made of human skin. We also witness various people butchered in different brutal ways.
But this film also has a more political inspiration. Tobe Hooper - the director, producer, and writer - pinned his inspiration on changes in the cultural and political landscape, focusing on misinformation that overran America during the 70s.
*looks into camera a la Jim from The Office*
Hooper pinned the claims of a true story onto the film, responding to how he felt he was being lied to by the government regarding things like Watergate, the 1973 Oil Crisis, and the Vietnam War. The news only confirmed the brutal acts of humanity.
"man was the real monster here, just wearing a different face, so I put a literal mask on the monster in my film".
You can watch this for free on Amazon Prime.
Well that was, uhh, fun?
If you enjoyed these traumatic discoveries - you know, that some of the most terrifying horror films of all time are based on real people and crimes - then make sure you like ‘n’ reblog to let me know.
I post a new article on horror and the paranormal every Saturday + a new real ghost story everyday so make sure you hit follow to tag along for the ride!
#horror#Horror Movies#best horror movies#based on a true story#based on real events#best movies based on true stories#jack the ripper#deliver us from evil#the blob#wolf creek#the silence of the lambs#the texas chainsaw massacre#slasher#supernatural#paranormal#the conjuring#real ghost#real ghost stories#true ghost stories#Paranormal Investigation#unsolved mystery#unsolved crime#ted bundy#ed gein#demons#spirits#ghosts#urban legends#Ed and Lorraine Warren
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kingdom episode 3 baby!!!!
listen. i’m not gonna lie i was nervous as hell for this episode. i saw that preview like everyone else and unfortunately i have ears so i was convinced the ateez stage was going to be a trainwreck. i was absolutely banking on sf9 and skz to do something even mildy interesting to save me from the ear damage and having to talk to extensively about why that disaster happened. but somehow i woke up in an alternate universe and you know what? with the exception of that high note the ateez stage fucked. i know. i don’t believe it either. i think i’m still in shock.
i’ll do individual breakdowns in order of favourites within the episode and then at the end i’ll put my personal ranking of all six. thank god i don’t have to do a stage breakdown again; if they change it again for next week i will scream.
ateez
a miracle happened. i don’t have to fight any of the staff at kq. i don’t understand either. jongho is so fucking lucky that the rest of the group pulled all that energy out of their asses because if they had been even a single iota less serious about it that stage would have flopped worse than a dead fish. i can’t believe we got this level of camp b movie schlock in the first full stage, and they stuck the landing. incredible.
fine i’ll address the elephant in the room. personally, i don’t think jongho is that good of a vocalist. he’s not bad, and he does have the potential to be a good vocalist, he just doesn’t have the training, and this is the issue with all of ateez. hanya talked about this before and i’ll say it again: he can’t switch to his head voice and he’s destroying his vocal cords by attempting to hit notes in his mid range that he should just jump to head voice for. frankly i’m surprised he got anywhere close to that note in his mid, but his technique is just not there and he’s gonna do some real damage to his voice if he doesn’t take a break and also get a good vocal coach. you can already hear the degradation in sound from their debut stage to now, and that’s in less than three years. ok i’m done talking about vocals that’s hanya’s turf, i’m pretending that that high note doesn’t exist and we’re moving on. also im in love with btob’s reaction it was fucking priceless.
costume
look, i have a one track brain and that brain can only think about seonghwa corset. seonghwa corset? seonghwa corset.
i know it’s not a real corset nor is it properly laced and i know this would never happen in a million years but a kpop mr pearl trend? i would die. just fully expire. there’s no coming back from that for me
yes i have laced boys into proper corsets before and yes it is as hot as you think it is (when it’s not work related, obviously)
ok now that i’ve got that out of my system for the moment, the costumes are actually pretty good. i’m a little obsessed with hongjoong’s coat although I know it’s stupid. fur? always, I love it, you’ll never change my mind it makes everything better. i own a lot of it and i wear it all the time. this is also a pretty good example of how to do a more modern styling within a very specific and recognizable genre.
i don’t hate the backup dancers’ costumes either, even though they would look a lot better in a not-pirate themed hiphop stage. because there is already a modern tint with the boys’ costumes, it’s not that much of a leap to the dancers, and they actually use the dancers and the camera really strategically to not put much focus on them.
the only real standout issue is the blacklight/contortionist moment, which is too gimmicky for me and doesn’t fit the rest of the theme. i do understand the purpose of them: you need a transition point from the upper deck to the more fantastical inner ship area, and blacklight paint is a really easy, cheap, and fast way to get four new costumes instantly. do i think they could have done something better though? yes.
set
this was actually a smart reuse of that pirate ship set. i know i clowned on them in the first stage that they could move on from the pirate gimmick but honestly? i’m glad they didn’t. this was fun as fuck. but also two stages was enough you can move on now.
i love how they actually used the weird double stage function that the false prosc creates for an actual architectural and narrative effect, instead of just sort of operating as though it’s just another place to travel just because you can. we are on the deck of the ship, and then we go inside the ship. it’s simple and effective. you don’t need to do a crazy amount of crossover to establish a dynamic sense of place.
i hate the ateez kingdom logo. i hate the ateez logo in general. get it out of there, at least you could have made something more fun and pirate themed.
would have loved to have seen them return to the hourglass at the end, especially if they got one that was specifically set for 4 minutes. would have been a nice bit of symmetry but i suspect it was struck before the kraken bit.
the kraken bit??? i was not at all expecting that and honestly? dope as hell. that big tentacle is just a custom inflatable santa claus that you see around christmastime and what a brilliant use of such a simple mechanic, especially to have it come through that weird little triangle arch they have upstage. smart way to use the existing architecture.
yes it is a gimmick but here’s why it works rather than just looks tacky like every other gimmick we’ve seen so far: it had a function within the narrative. this is so important. show us there’s a reason it’s there!
lighting
i didn’t love it but they did actually make some smart choices. the outer deck is warmer toned and has some good atmospheric effects, and the inner deck is cold tone and specifically lit with pin lights to imitate the light coming through portholes in an actual ship, which is so smart thank you lighting designer
also a very clear arc with the lighting, blue -> orange -> blue/red -> orange/multiple -> blue
sound
i actually kinda liked this remix? it fit theme and had a very clear dramatic arc. also i like wonderland, so sue me.
staging
WE DID IT, WE FINALLY GOT A CLEAR NARRATIVE FROM AT LEAST ONE GROUP! wonderland was actually a great choice for them because it’s a really good indicator of exactly how hungry they are. i was a bit worried that it would fall flat because it kinda rides on mingi but they actually pulled it off. i have literally no idea where they pulled all that energy from but holy shit you can practically lick the attitude off the screen. i’m also very impressed by the amount of information they managed to fit into that four minute narrative. we had a full conflict/climax/resolution, as well as a really clear understanding of the tenacity and drive of the group, as well as the desire to support one another in achieving their goals. bravo.
ok so like i said in the set section, they used that pirate ship bridge really effectively to create two different but connected spaces. this is a really smart way to make it seem like you have two spaces while having to only build one set. it was also one of the best ways to utilize this dumbass stage so it doesn’t just look like you’re running arbitrarily from area to area because you can.
also levels! levels are so important for staging but also hard to do in this context because you have to be able to move really quickly in and out of full group formation, but I think they did a really good job here.
continued point: the kraken arm worked because it was the conflict they needed to overcome in the narrative, so it had a function within the performance. also related: all the tricking and jumping also served a purpose within the narrative too. it was either used for fighting (yeosang kicking all those dancers on beat) or a demonstration of teamwork (jongho flinging yunho around on the floor). also frankly excellent use of choreographic formation with the backup dancers, each formation had a specific function and was meant to highlight ateez without being overbearing.
not a whole lot of camera choreo, but a fairly good long take at the beginning and the editing wasn’t too obnoxious which I think was more chance than intent, but i’m not gonna look a gift kraken in the beak.
sf9
i actually really liked this stage, and i really like that sf9 has established their colour as effortlessly elegant, which does set them apart from the rest of the groups. this stage was really choreographically complex and they made it seem so easy, so real props to them. however, like with ikon’s stage, there were a lot of good ideas that just weren’t followed through enough for me.
like ateez, song choice and theme were very well intertwined with this one, there was a lot of thought put into this stage. the pun with ‘jealous’ and ‘jilleosseo’ and having a fairytale/magic mirror narrative? fuckin GALAXY BRAINED. incredible. the implication that not only taeyang but the entire group is the evil queen from snow white? chef’s kiss. should have committed harder and put one of them in massive cloak à la king taemin mama 2020. instead it was subtle enough to not try to step on ateez’s schlocky camp toes but still just as serious and i love that. do i wish they pushed it farther though? also yes.
costume
not gonna lie, i had my reservations on the costumes when we saw the previews of them in the waiting room, but the thing about stage costumes is that they always look bad when not on stage. if they look good in the waiting room you’ve done something wrong. and i loved them on stage. big fan of that quilted vest/pseudo stomacher. please can we have a corset trend? y’all already adopted bondage harnesses, c’mon a little corset won’t hurt. also a good example of a modern spin on a recognizable genre.
i wish the backup dancers weren’t in all black but i am fighting single person battle against the entire entertainment industry on that one.
set
extremely simple with a few smart utilizations. had a feeling this might have been a budget thing, as it had a similar kind of vibe with ikon’s stage, but the use of the mirrors was smart and a fun device that served the purpose of the narrative.
working with mirrors on stage is really fucking hard, so kudos to them for giving it a go. for the most part it was pretty effective. especially with the combo of moving mirrors and moving lights AND moving camera, you’re kind of asking to either blind your audience or at least give them a headache. i once saw a production of the magic flute that had a rotating mirror setpiece and i swear i nearly went blind due to the constantly flashing reflections. you have to really be careful with directionality and reflection, especially with the added element of a camera. also you never use real glass mirrors on stage, it is unbelievably bad luck and theatre people are the most superstitious demographic on the fucking planet.
i kinda loved the draped gold dais. i have nothing else to say about it other than fun!
lighting
a lot of this was very weirdly lit and i’m not sure why. the quality on youtube is terrible and cameras already have trouble picking up detail in low light, and throwing a whole bunch of primary red over that (the colour with the longest wavelength and therefore disappears the easiest in the dark. also human eyes are not very good at distinguishing variations in the red spectrum) and the red costumes made it extremely difficult to tell what was happening.
i will give them props for dramatic lighting usage, especially for the two way mirror trick and for using the floor as a primary lighting source at the end, which i think groups should be using more of. how often do you have a lighting source in your floor!!! almost never!! use that opportunity!!
sound
i actually enjoyed this remix too. it was well suited to the dramatic nature of the stage. i think the sound byte at the beginning is ‘mirror mirror on the wall who’s the worthiest of them all’ but it also could be ‘who’s the worst of them all’ and that would be also fitting and kinda funny.
staging
again, not a lot of consideration for camera choreo in a meaningful way, and like the tbz stage I think the clarity in the actual choreo got hampered by the editing. because there was a lot of choreographic precision that went into making this work and it wasn’t totally obvious from the way mnet edited it.
a lot of them are actors so it works that they’re leaning more towards dramatic stages rather than the sort of performance type stages we’ve seen so far. i like this choice for them as it gives them a very obvious colour but they’re almost on the verge of making it look too easy, which does them some injustice.
next to ateez, using that long uninterrupted traverse was my favourite use of this stage. doubles as an easy way to build the atmosphere of a palace corridor/throne room with the rug, and to feed the drama of the piece.
skz
ok i have some…..things to say about this stage. so far i have not been kind to skz which makes me look like i hate them and i don’t, i promise. there were a lot of really interesting things happening in this stage and there some really successful ones, and i liked this a whole lot better than their intro stage, but their overall choreo and thematic dedication is really killing me. i’ll explain.
costume
I don’t hate them but also…….why? I got the good self vs evil self/internal struggle theme but the costumes don’t really have anything interesting to say about that. as far as modern style costuming goes i think they’re on the more interesting end, but they don’t push it far enough. there’s a few western art history visual motifs and honestly? they should have gone whole hog and whited out their faces/hair and made them look like classical sculptures. that would have been hella fun, especially with that little statue and marionette sequence, plus the shadow/leash manipulation.
this time it was actually intentional that the backup dancers were in blacks and i appreciate that.
why on EARTH did they have that ridiculous makeup that didn’t read on stage? theatre makeup and tv makeup are different, you can’t just do a light purple eyeshadow and expect to read under blue and red light. someone needs to bring an actual theatre makeup artist in and get these boys in some real crazy looks. see previous point about full-face white pancake. more extreme makeup please and thank you!
set
i liked the use of internal architecture within this massive weird stage space and they used the corridors quite well. i didn’t really like the mix of baroque scrolling and also graffiti, it wasn’t quite connected for me. this has been a common theme among this round and i think it comes from budget/props pulls rather than anything else.
also there was a distinct feeling of trying to fill the main stage space with bodies as opposed to atmosphere. this can work in some specific cases but the intent wasn’t strong enough for me. it just felt like a lot of people on stage, especially in the end choreo.
lighting
the general lighting was fine but not particularly inspired. the low light in the beginning was actually quite well done, especially combined with the fog, but in my opinion was not dramatic enough. you have a pseudo art history theme happening, pump that contrast and push the chiaroscuro!
ok stay with me, i’m gonna say something extremely controversial that might actually get me cancelled. s*per j*unior’s burn the floor did everything this stage was trying to do on a smaller scale and better. look i know ok, this is a like, a double atom bomb hot take. just forget everything you know about them and watch the performance video. tell me that’s not some of the most interesting choreo you’ve seen in kpop. if you’re going to work with practical light you need to COMMIT. not just steal the solar lanterns out of my mom’s back garden.
i have a lot of opinions on using practical light and alternate light sources in performance because it’s a huge part of my practice and this just....wasn’t interesting enough for me. push it further!
(I will wait for the subs on the full episode because there has to be a reason they chose that specific shape of lamp. if not i gotta ask jyp why he’s raiding my mom’s garden)
sound
god’s menu has such specific imagery associated within the lyrics and choreography that this stage was a bit dissonant for me. especially when seen in conjunction with two stages where the narrative was tied explicitly to the lyrics of the songs. i think maybe if it hadn’t been grouped with these other two stages i would have felt differently. the other groups chose to do songs were a little more abstract and allowed for more visual experimentation, but to go so blatantly against the food metaphor didn’t really work for me and i had a tough time divorcing the association. I found the arrangement to be a little lacking in energy for me towards the end but otherwise it was pretty interesting.
staging
Definitely a better performance overall that the intro stage. almost all of the gimmicks this time had relevance to the theme which i appreciated. the marionette bit and the shadow/mirror were probably the most interesting but i wish they were better lit.
there was a lot of back and forth in the blocking that made the stage feel repetitive and also aimless? like there wasn’t a very clearly established directionality within the internal space, so it felt like treading over the same ground for no purposeful reason. and again, not a lot of intentional camerawork.
i really liked having the dancers under the big sheet, it fit well enough within the ‘war between internal selves’ theme, but also had a loose tie to the art imagery. again, i really wish they had stuck to a clearer visual theme. it makes them stick out especially in this grouping of stages, but also across all the groups as whole because almost everyone had a clear(ish) visual idea.
holy shit that’s a lot of backup dancers. i don’t really feel like that many were necessary and the sheer number of them took away from the emphasis of the group. with all of the other stages (except for tbz) it was very clear who the centre of attention and emphasis was, and with both skz and tbz they got swallowed by the sheer scale they were trying to operate at. bigger is not always better.
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this is a tough round to rank because none of these stages are bad, there’s just some that are, in my opinion, more successful than others. all of these stages do very well in specific elements but fall short in others which also makes this ranking difficult. i’m evaluating these based on whether they were successful to me, as i’m pretty sure this ranking will probably not all be popular opinion, but whatever i like to live on the edge.
btob – visuals, vocals, narrative, swords? what more do you want me to say? also i watched the full episode and minhyuk did rehearsal with a real bokken and i think i am in love with him now.
ateez – honestly not sure if i would have ranked this first if that high note hadn’t been a mess. i love camp nonsense and i genuinely think this was a well designed stage. i can’t believe i keep saying that but it’s true.
sf9 – this stage was really solid, just could have been pushed farther. i think it has a really good sense of drama and it’s a pity that sf9’s colour is more subdued, because i think they’re going to be stuck around the 3rd/4th position for the rest of the show.
ikon – ikon is only ranking this high because although i am disappointed in the wasted potential of this stage, they NAILED the camerawork and actually brought in someone to block the steadicam into the choreo. also they’re incredible performers. i say this every time, but their stage presence, although maybe lower energy that they normally would be, is still not to be fucked with.
skz – i think this one is the most ‘meh’ for me. while i liked a lot of the elements here they just didn’t push it far enough and the lack of narrative and general aimless choreo led to me not having any strong feelings yea or nay.
tbz – to be quite honest the lack of costume unity is a big hit for me. all elements of design are equally as important but because of my personal practice and experience i tend to put a lot of weight on good costume and spatial design. i don’t actually like game of thrones also, so I feel mildly offended on behalf of michele clapton, who had did a fucking incredible job and doesn’t deserve to be slandered like this. also the lack of cohesive choreography and the overblown lighting made this difficult to watch, no matter how good i thought the rear projection/stretch fabric dance was.
any questions or opinions you wanna share hit me up! see you next week!
#im ready for the angry asks about that s*ju opinion because that is a spicy one#kingdom#kingdom review#kpop analysis#im so surprised by these stages i cant believe ateez stuck the landing#i saw the preview for next week also and the new round looks wild so im ready#text
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To quoth Se7en: WHAT'S IN THE BOX, SCOTT
Transcript under the cut.
So now that the angry mobs have left, let’s move on to Part 2: The Box. I know this sounds like a strange topic to switch to after we were just talking about the Brother, but we need to understand the box before we can answer that question. So to start, let’s go over:
[Everything We Know About the Box]
First, in FNAF 4 the Fredbear Plush tells Sammy that they will put him back together. In Scott’s post about the box, he said that the box contained all of the pieces put together. This links the box with Sammy.
Our next hint comes in Sister Location, when Michael says this:
And I found her. I put her back together, just like you asked me to. She’s free now.
People tend to misinterpret this as Michael referring to putting Ennard together, but that’s not the case. Rather, based on FNAF 4 and some things in TFC, it seems that being “broken” refers to the state of one’s soul - if you are broken, you are possessing something, and you can rest when you’re fixed. This both indicates Sammy is indeed possessing something, and creates a parallel between him and Ennard.
However, FFPS contains our biggest hint with Candy Cadet.
Candy. Candy. Candy.
I know, stay with me. Each of Candy Cadet’s stories relates to a different aspect of the lore. The story about the burglar probably refers to the original five kids and how their remnant is in Molten Freddy, or maybe just refers to Ennard. The second story about the woman and the keys likely refers to the Puppet - she gave life to the original five, but in the process let William find out about the remnant, which caused him to kill another five kids.
But then we get to the last story.
Now I will tell you a story about a little boy. He had a red snake that he kept in a metal cage, whose hunger could not be satisfied.
One day, the boy found five baby kittens outside his house. He brought them inside and kept them in a shoebox. He knew that the snake might kill them, but could not bring himself to get rid of the snake. He knew that if he chose one kitten to feed to the snake, it might be satisfied, but he could not choose. So, he went to bed, leaving the cage open. The snake went to the shoebox, chose a kitten at random, and ate it.
After five nights had gone by, the boy was full of regret, and cut the snake open. He pieced the remains together, and put the kitten back into the shoebox.
A young boy had five “kittens”, one of which was “eaten”. Filled with guilt, he took the pieces of the “kitten”, stitched them together into one, and put it into a box.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, the story is an analogy to FNAF 4. After Sammy was killed by the Brother’s negligence, he was wracked with guilt. He took the items that Sammy was possessing and stitched them together into one in an attempt to “fix” him. He then locked the final amalgamate into the box and tried to forget about the whole incident, which explains the “some things are best left forgotten” text that appears above it.
This means that Sammy is possessing multiple objects. These objects have to be something that a teenager could put together easily, and they must be small enough to fit into a box.
And if we go back to Sammy’s death, you might notice that as he’s dying, the plushies fade out around him, one by one.
It’s the plushies. Sammy is possessing his own plushies - IE his “friends”. The Brother realized this and stitched the plushies together into one, then locked it away and tried to forget about the entire incident.
But is that it? After all, this would mean he’s just possessing the plushies and has no further lore relevance. Well, we’re not quite done, which leads me to our next topic:
[The Nightmares]
So if you look at the SL Breaker Room map, there’s a dot for every Nightmare animatronic, which seems to confirm they’re real. However, there are two dots missing: Nightmare Fredbear and Nightmare are not listed.
One thing that’s been pointed out by many people regarding the Nightmares being real is that there are quite a few inexplicable things that occur during the games, such as Nightmare Fredbear’s head showing up on the bed and the hospital items that appear. A lot of theories have been tossed around regarding this, ranging from the Nightmares being dreams or even the disks from TTO.
However, I have a different theory. If you pay attention to the 6 AM screen, the numbers screw up before fixing themselves. People blame this on it being a dream… but if your alarm clock is going off, and you’re looking at your alarm clock, doesn’t that mean you’re awake? This indicates that the Brother is not asleep, and something is causing the protagonist to hallucinate.
There’s one other odd thing about FNAF 4 that you might have noticed. The gameplay has a weird obsession with plushies - Nightmare Foxy turns into one, and there’s one sitting on the bed where the Freddles spawn from. Why is there this weird connection between the plushies and the Nightmares?
Additionally, you’ll notice that the animatronics appear in a pattern that matches that of the minigame nights. Nights 1-4 are just the core four, representing the bullies. Night 5 is Fredbear, for the Bite. Night 6 is all four followed by Fredbear, showing the order in which the Bitten Child’s plushies fade away… and Night 7, with Nightmare, is after the Bitten Child has died.
Finally, the box appears at the end of Night 7, with the “some things are best left forgotten” text, and according to the code it was meant to be opened after an unprogrammed Night 8, thus meaning opening the box was supposed to somehow end FNAF 4��s story.
Putting all of that together, I believe that Nightmare Fredbear and his alternate form, Nightmare, are the Sammy’s ghost. He’s locked inside of the box, so he appears as a representation of the Bite and his own death as he attempts to kill his Brother. Ghosts have been shown to cause hallucinations in this series before - thus, it is safe to assume that he’s the one making you hallucinate all of the strange visuals in the game. This is why the Nightmares are connected to the plushies, and why the box was supposed to end the game - once you open the box, Sammy will stop haunting you.
While this explains everything nicely, we do have one potential issue: Scott’s post about the Box suggested that the answer was going to piss everyone off, and this explanation certainly wouldn’t.
Now, keep in mind that I’m less confident about this part of the theory than the first part. I do want to talk about it however, because it does have quite a bit of evidence going for it.
[Sammy, FNAF 1, and how they’re connected]
There’s actually one more hint about the Box that i kind of glossed over in the first part of this video. We do have another hint, and weirdly enough it comes from…
[FNAF World intro]
You see, at the beginning of the game, you’re told to leave breadcrumbs for someone, to help them find their way. After completing a series of minigames, you get a cutscene of the Fredbear Plush, which uses the same dialogue it says to Sammy with the addition of saying the pieces are in place. When you go back to the main screen, you’re rewarded with a statue of a not-crying child.
However, what’s weird about this is that the “pieces” you’re putting into place… are the hints leading to the hidden minigames in FNAF 3.
And what’s even weirder is that every minigame in FNAF 3 ties back into Sammy. We already went over Charlie’s toy Mangle in the last video. Stage 01 shows off Charlie’s kidnapping and involves Fredbear giving cake to the Foxy-mask kid, a reference to the Bite. BB’s Air Adventure shows 3 silhouettes under a tree, which seem to be a nod to the girl outside with her three toys.
Chica’s Party, meanwhile, shows us four cupcakes, one of which follows her around. Judging by the golden cupcake Easter egg, the one moving is gold - thus these represent Sammy’s plushies, as four remain static while the Fredbear plush follows him.
The glitch minigame shows RWQ giving cake to one of the kids. In FNAF 4, Sammy was terrified of the shadows of the animatronics. Scott later gave us this hint about “things in the shadows being misunderstood in the mind of a child”. And indeed, here we see RWQ helping the child rather than hurting them.
And finally, Happiest Day ties back into what the Fredbear Plush said in 4 - that the Puppet would put Sammy back together, IE help him pass on, which fits with her giving the final cake. The cake, meanwhile, could be the birthday cake Sammy never got to have because of the Bite.
But that’s… weird, isn’t it? We see the five kids pass on in this game, along with the now not-possessed FNAF 1 animatronics. Why are there so many connections to the Bitten Child in a game that seemingly has nothing to do with him?
Well, here’s the thing. There’s one thing that I see a lot of people get wrong with the FNAF timeline, and that’s the placement of William’s death. Most people place it after FNAF 1, due to it taking place in the FNAF 1 pizzeria.
However, this is not the case. William walks in and out of the saferoom freely in this minigame before dying there. Then, we hear this in Phone Guy’s message:
Uh, this is just to inform all employees that due to budget restrictions the previously mentioned safe rooms are being sealed at most locations. Including this one. Work crews will be here most of the day today constructing a false wall over the old door face. Nothing is being taken out beforehand, so if you left anything inside, then it’s your own fault. Management also requests that this room not be mentioned to family, friends, or insurance representatives.
Phone Guy says nothing is being taken out and not to mention it to insurance companies because William’s corpse is already in there. Note that he says they’re constructing a fake wall to hide the saferoom, and where does Phone Dude find Springtrap?
Uh, but you know, like I said, we’re trying to track down a good lead right now. Uh, some guy who helped design one of the buildings says there was like an extra room that got boarded up, or, uh, something like that.
William died in the saferoom, so management constructed the false wall over it to hide his body. He stayed there until Fazbear’s Fright found him behind said wall and removed him.
But that’s the issue - it’s Phone Guy who tells you about the sealing of the saferoom. Phone Guy was dead after FNAF 1, so this means William must have died before it.
While you might be wondering why the place looks like the FNAF 1 location, note this phone call from FNAF 2:
Uh, now, I want you to forget anything you may have heard about the old location. You know, uh, some people still have a somewhat negative impression of the company. Uh, that old restaurant was kind of left to rot for quite a while, but, I want to reassure you, Fazbear Entertainment is committed to family fun and above all, safety.
This sure looks like a location that was left to rot to me! It’s likely that after the FNAF 2 location shut down, Freddy’s was forced to move back into their earlier location where the murders took place due to budget reasons. William was the night guard before you in FNAF 2, so this was likely between 2 and 1 - they had already fixed up the Withereds at this point, but hadn’t finished cleaning up the pizzeria before Will died.
This creates an odd gap in the timeline, however. When incorrectly assumed the minigames take place after 1, the kids are put to rest after Will dies before passing on in FNAF 3. Easy. But in actually, the kids vanish before FNAF 1, which shouldn’t be the case as the animatronics are still possessed at that point. Shadow Freddy even shows up in 3 with his FNAF 2 appearance, which would be weird if the ghosts had changed to match the FNAF 1 models. Likewise, the endoskeletons of the animatronics don’t look the same, which lends credence that these aren’t the Withereds. So what is going on here?
Well, in UCN we get a couple anime cutscenes. Freddy talks about it being his birthday and how Foxy has killed someone, so this is obviously a parallel to the older Brother and Sammy. What’s important here is that Freddy tries to defeat Foxy for five days before Foxy leaves, Freddy swearing to follow him. If Freddy represents Sammy, then that means that he followed the Brother to at least one other location than the FNAF 4 house.
Basically, what seems to be implied here is that Sammy is possessing all of the animatronics in 1. William dismantled the original 5 between 2 and 1. The kids stopped actively haunting the place at this point, though they don’t fully pass on until FFPS, hence why the gravestones pop up at the end. This left an opening for Sammy to possess the Classics in an attempt to kill his Brother, as he never opened the box he’s trapped in. This is why the Classics behave like the Nightmares, and in turn draw parallels to FNAF 4, such as Foxy not moving when you look at him.
This is why there are so many parallels to FNAF 4 in the FNAF 3 minigames - it’s not the original five you’re freeing, but rather, the pieces of Sammy. Not that TFC claims that broken children show up as multiple copies of each other, which we can assume applies to canon. All of the sprites look like greyscale versions of Sammy’s sprite - except for the Puppet, as she’s the only different character here.
Note also that the fifth child or piece here is probably not Golden Freddy, as is commonly assumed, but rather Fredbear - the one with the purple accents - matching Sammy’s last plushie and Nightmare Fredbear. The final minigame is greyscale and it’s too dark to fully see the head in the back of the ending screen, meaning that you can’t see the color of the top hat.
While the idea of Sammy being all the kids in this minigame sounds crazy, think about what Scott said during Dawko’s interview:
Dawko: This game, um, was when things went a little bit crazy with, like, the minigames, and stuff, and the good ending and the bad ending. Um, if you can answer this, which ending really happened?
Scott: I’ve given it a lot of thought as to whether or not I should answer this question. And I went back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth. And, the answer is very interesting, you know?
The answer is very interesting. The answer is complex. However, I’m not gonna answer it, because it’ll only cause strife. I mean, you see the kinda trouble that erupts, especially several years ago. The flame wars that would go on over Mangle’s gender, something as simple as that, you know? You know, I mean, you know, people with torches and pitchforks, you know? Now, yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna answer this one, I’m afraid.
This… seems weird, doesn’t it? The answer is either that the bad ending is canon or the good ending is, and yet Scott claims that the answer is “complex”. On top of that, the game itself implies the good ending is canon, as it’s just labeled as “the end” while the bad ending is specifically labeled as “bad”, making Scott’s hesitation all the odder.
However, this makes sense when combined with this theory. The good ending is canon, as Sammy is freed at the end of 3. But that’s the thing - it’s Sammy who’s freed. Everyone believes that these minigames show the original 5 kids, but the original 5 aren’t freed until FFPS. In that sense, both the good ending and bad ending are canon. That is indeed a complex answer, and one that would cause a ton of confusion and fighting. And it’s also an answer that would piss people off if they found out about it, leading back into Scott’s “would people accept it that way” pondering from the post about the Box.
Of course, Scott’s also said the contents of the Box have changed over time, so it’s possible that this was canon at one point but isn’t anymore, or maybe I’m just overthinking things and none of this is correct. Still, it’s a good thing to keep in mind as we move into discussing what the actual plot of FNAF is.
[Continued in Part 3]
#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf 4#five nights at freddy's 4#bitten child#nightmare animatronics#outdesign posts things#outdesign analyzes things#the black box#this one is less controversial than the first one but I feel like an angry mob's gonna form anyway
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How I Letterboxd #10: Chad Hartigan.
Filmmaker Chad Hartigan talks to Jack Moulton about his prescient new sci-fi romance, Little Fish, why radio silence is worse than a bad review, and his secret system of Letterboxd lists.
Chad Hartigan has won prizes at the Sundance Film Festival and the Film Independent Spirit Awards for his acclaimed films This is Martin Donner and Morris From America. He’s also been a Letterboxd member since way back, joining what he proclaims as “my favorite website” in 2013. Hartigan has always been an obsessive logger: he has transcribed all of his viewing data since 1998 and continues to work on filling in the gaps in his downtime.
Like many ardent Letterboxd members, Hartigan is a diligent list-maker, keeping tabs on his best first viewings of each year and assembling an all-time top 1,000 films over the summer (with an accompanying 26-minute supercut). Perhaps unusually for a member of the film industry on Letterboxd, he’s unafraid to hold back his opinions and regularly voices his critiques on even the most acclaimed films.
Hartigan’s newest film, Little Fish, is a sci-fi love story starring Olivia Cooke (Sound of Metal) and Jack O’Connell (Unbroken). Written by Mattson Tomlin, it’s set during an imagined pandemic—shot long before our own actual pandemic—wherein a disease causes people to lose their memories. It was set to premiere at the 2020 Tribeca Film Festival, and then postponed due to Covid-19. It’s now out in limited theaters and on demand, and we were delighted with the excuse to put Hartigan in the How I Letterboxd spotlight.
Olivia Cooke as Emma and Jack O’Connell as Jude in ‘Little Fish’.
You made a pandemic movie before the pandemic. How do you feel about accidentally hitting that unfortunate zeitgeist and now consequently being asked questions like this one? Yeah, strange. The questions are fine. If it wasn’t this one, it would be another that you would have to answer over and over again. One of the things that drew me to the project was that it felt like a fantasy that wasn’t necessarily rooted in reality in a way that my other [films] were. I liked that it’s old-fashioned in its attempts to purely take you somewhere and wasn’t intended to hold up a mirror to our times—but then in the end that’s exactly what it’s doing. I’m curious myself, and I’m checking Letterboxd to see the reactions from people because I really couldn’t guess what it would have been like [now].
Are there any prescient details you’re proud of getting right? I’m so grateful and happy that Jack [O’Connell] is wearing his mask correctly. That’s the number one thing that I’m glad we got right. I think it was very smart of Mattson to focus the movie on [the relationship] rather than the details of this global pandemic. I feel the reason it’s not in bad taste is because it dealt with those things as a backdrop and instead focused on people just trying to remember what’s important and clinging onto those that they love.
Onto our own favorite memory aid, Letterboxd. How did you discover us and how did you manage without us? I’ve been on since 2013, so I’m probably one of the earliest people to jump on it. I love the interface and the diary, just aesthetically it was really fun. I’ve been keeping track of what I see with analog [methods] for as long as I can remember. I have diaries and planners so I logged all that old information. If I was running for president, my platform would be that everybody is required to use Letterboxd comprehensively, because I just love to know what everybody is watching all the time.
Do you talk about Letterboxd in the real world with the other filmmaking people? Yes, and I’m often trying to convince them to join. Other filmmakers are more concerned about having their opinions on peers be public knowledge than I am, I guess. I’ve made four films now and each one’s been bigger and more widely seen than the last. The very first one was a total no-budget affair that couldn’t get into any festivals and I was very excited when I finally got it into the Hamptons Film Festival. It was about half-full and one or two people came up to me afterwards and said they liked it. This was pre-Twitter so I spent the whole next day Googling to see if anybody had written anything. I was so curious to see what people thought and there was nothing—not a review, not a blog—just total emptiness.
When the next film got into Sundance, there were people tweeting their reactions and actual reviews and I read everything. People were asking if the bad reviews hurt me. Absolutely not—nothing can be worse than the radio silence of nobody caring about the first film. The fact that people care enough to sit and write about this movie—good or bad—is a win, and I’ve carried that onward. I like to see what people think, it can be helpful in how you view the film as a success or failure. You learn and move on.
Jack O’Connell at least remembers how to wear a mask in ‘Little Fish’.
Some filmmakers have told us they’re kinder to films after making their own, but you’re not shy at all about being critical. How did making your own films change your perspective as a critic? I don’t consider myself a critic so that’s why I’d be less concerned with someone reading what I thought. Why should they put any stock into what I think? If they get hung up on it then that’s their own stuff because I’m not a critic. Like everyone else on Letterboxd, I just love watching movies. Obviously I can appreciate and understand some of the technical aspects maybe moreso than people who don’t make films, but at the end of the day, rarely that’s the thing that makes you love a movie or not. There’s a great bit in Francis Ford Coppola’s commentary track for Finian’s Rainbow where Fred Astaire’s doing a dance number and [Coppola admits] he totally messed it up because Astaire’s feet aren’t fully in frame. He’s very honest about his mistakes because it’s one of his earliest movies. Then he goes on to say that he thinks there’s the same number of mistakes in Finian’s Rainbow as there are in The Godfather, it’s just that he made mistakes on the things that don’t matter for The Godfather. No film is perfect, but if it can latch onto this one magical aspect that connects you to it, that’s what makes you love it or not.
You had a project where you chart the best films made by directors at certain ages as you reached that age. Tell us more about it. That was a great project. I got the idea when I was 26. This was back when I had a Netflix DVD subscription and it was just hard for me to randomly choose DVDs to throw in the queue. I needed a system. I decided to watch movies from directors when they were my age and see if there’s some common denominator, something I can learn. At that point, there weren’t many, there were films like Boogie Nights and Fassbinder films. Not many people had made stuff when they were 26 or 27, so it was very feasible. Every year there were more movies and more directors to add to the list and it became time-consuming. I did it all the way up until I was 34 and the reason I stopped was because I had a son and there was no way I could continue this level of viewing output.
My favorite part of your account is the fact that you log every viewing of your own films. You know for a fact that you’ve watched Morris From America 26 times and Little Fish fifteen times. Why do you log them? What counts as a viewing? I’ve clearly watched those movies many more times in little chunks but I’ll only log it if we’re sitting down and watching it from beginning to end. I have a ticket to see Little Fish in the drive-in on Saturday, so it’s going to be logged again. Why do I do it? Like I said, I wish everyone was required to use Letterboxd comprehensively. That’s what it’s there for for me, an accurate log of what I watch. This is psychotic behavior but I’m tempted to have a Letterboxd account for my son. I’ll do his views for him once he starts watching movies until he’s old enough to take over. It’ll just be, like, Frozen a thousand times but he’s not old enough to watch anything yet, so we’ll see.
Have you discovered any films thanks to Letterboxd discourse that influenced your approach to filmmaking? For sure, I can’t maybe say specifically, but once I dropped the directors my own age system I didn’t replace it with nothing. I’m a Virgo and I have a little bit of OCD, so I have to have some system. I’ve replaced it with a new complicated system where I pull from different lists and that’s now my main source of how I choose a movie to watch. I have like ten or twelve different lists, each about a thousand movies with a lot of overlap. One of them is my own list of every movie I’ve seen in a theater and I’ll go and look through that and if it’s something I want to revisit. Recently I rewatched Twister, which I hadn’t seen in a long time and is an old favorite from when I was in high school.
I have a bunch of private lists I cycle through; every movie nominated for a Spirit Award, every movie that’s won an Oscar, every movie that’s played in competition at Cannes, the top 1,000 films at the box office. There’s another great website that I use as a biblical resource which is They Shoot Pictures, Don’t They? and their lists of acclaimed films for all-time and the 21st century. I hit those up often. Something that I watched purely because of the very high Letterboxd rating and really loved is Funeral Parade of Roses. I try to see as many movies as I can that have a 4.0 rating or higher.
You respect the Letterboxd consensus. I do, but I don’t always agree with it.
‘Little Fish’ director Chad Hartigan.
Which is your most underrated or overlooked movie according to Letterboxd? I can say I was the very first person to log a movie called Witness in the City, which is an Italian noir movie I watched when I was doing my ‘directors my own age’ series. Literally nobody had logged it, so my review was like “whoa, I can’t believe I’m the first person to log this!”. It was very exciting for me because it’s great, but I’m the OG logger of that movie.
From your list of every film you’ve seen in a theater since you were twelve, which was your most memorable experience? The cheap answer is that it’s hard to top my own movies. The Sundance premiere of Morris From America at the Eccles Theater is maybe the best, but if I’m disqualifying my own films, seeing Scream 3 in a very packed theater in Virginia Beach was really fun, really rowdy. There was a trailer for a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie and I remember the climax was Van Damme going “you lied to me!!!” and everyone laughed. Someone did a George Costanza move later during Scream 3 and yelled out “you lied to me!!!” and everybody laughed again—so that’s a high. That’s the thing I miss the most about movie theaters, and the worry I have if theaters go away, is that so much of how we feel about a movie can be tied to the experience; who we saw it with, what we did before or after, what the crowd was like, or if anything strange happened. There are a lot of movies I have strong memories and affection for because of the experience of seeing them and I probably wouldn’t feel the same way about if I just watched it at home on my laptop.
I typically like to cap interviews off with what filmmakers thought was the best film of the past year, but we have your data to hand. For you, it’s Garrett Bradley’s documentary Time. Can you talk a bit about what makes the film stand out for you? One thing I learned about myself from the pandemic is that the motivation and desire to see new things is very closely tied to the theater-going experience for me. Once that was taken away and you could watch a new movie at home, it joins the pile of all the other movies. The fact that it’s new doesn’t really do anything for me. Why would I press play on Da 5 Bloods when I still haven’t seen Malcolm X? I gotta see Malcolm X! There wasn’t an urgency, so I saw far fewer films than in an ordinary year. But Time I found incredibly moving and important. Similar to what I liked about the Little Fish script, it’s so hyper-focused on one relationship and within that one story it has so much to say about larger issues and the world at large. It was an emotional and rich viewing experience.
‘Little Fish’ is on demand and playing in select theaters now. Images courtesy of IFC Films.
#little fish#chad hartigan#life in film#film director#letterboxd#how i letterboxd#letterboxd member#letterboxd tips#olivia cook#jack o'connell#romance#romantic film#sci fi romance#pandemic movie#covid movie
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The Woman Who Fell to Earth
I stopped watching Doctor Who in 2013 after the 50th anniversary special. Up to then I was deeply obsessed by its reams of stories, hidden subspaces and detailed production histories. It wasn’t just entertainment, it was a case study in a massive shared universe, and a direct function of the times and places it had been written.
It’s never been very controversial to anyone I know to dislike Moffat’s run of the show, and as it drew to a close everything that followed seemed pretty well-telegraphed: Chris Chibnall would become the head of the show, it wouldn’t be very good, reactionaries would blame bad writing on a female Doctor while plenty of others would just lost interest, the ratings would drop and the whole show would become less culturally relevant. It was a Cassandra truth.
But that said, I still wanted to try it. I watched a bit of the Twelfth Doctor and had mixed feelings, and when I watched the first episode of the Thirteenth I found myself taking notes on it. So, without a lot of structure, here are my thoughts.
1. New Who treats first episodes as very important, the first moments that we see new Doctors and their statements to the world. Call it a modern tradition - where “Robot” and “Time and the Rani” play the change for comedy before jumping into the week’s adventures, “The Christmas Invasion” and “The Eleventh Hour” are primarily statements of continuity. By Twelve’s first outing the villains themselves become metaphors for change, and now Thirteen delivers a brief speech about deciding to become different while paying respect to the past.
2. Speaking of that speech, I feel like there must have been an earlier draft that connected the plot to these metaphors a lot better. The villain of the story keeps pieces of his past triumphs with him at all times, but these trophies are body parts taken from the dead, and they disgust the Doctor. At least Twelve’s flesh robots were stumbling towards eternity.
The villain as a whole is just what you’d expect from a low-grade Doctor Who monster, I guess. He’s supposed to be on a hunt, which sounds really cool, but this consists entirely of him walking places and murdering random bystanders by touch. He’s not keeping the masquerade up or succeeding in his goals by doing this, and the rest of the story implies that he’s at least shrewd about getting what he wants. The Doctor’s complaints against him center on him being a cheat who can’t do the hunt fair and square and on his desecrating corpses, but she never seems very angry at him over murdering people.
The idea of the Doctor stopping a proper hunt actually sounds interesting to me, especially as someone who sat through all of DWAD’s The Most Dangerous Game. There’s a lot of suspense in dealing with an intelligent, directed killer with a small number of targets, be it in Predator or Day of the Jackal, and a villain that stalks, hides or sets up ambushes could be easier on the budget. Or you could keep the villain the same but add a second member of his species to the setting and have them in competition, conflict on conflict. (That sounds like it’d make a good module for TIMELORD, actually...)
3. The Doctor feels simplified. I don’t mean the new personality of this incarnation, although I think the slight amnesia-until-climax is a bit forced. There’s just stuff that comes off wrong. For instance, things are outlawed in “every civilized galaxy” and the villains traveled from “five thousand galaxies away”. Despite ostensibly going anywhere and anywhen, the show’s always respected some species of distance, in that going far enough away or leaving the universe itself is a pretty big deal (especially since so much of it sticks to Earth). This line could’ve been any distance and nothing else would’ve changed, but it kills the idea of space - how can galaxies be civilized? It feels like the setting is shrinking - the word just sounds big and spacey, and this is the part where the Doctor says that something’s out of place, so big, spacey words go there.
This probably sounds nitpicky, but it feels lazy. Where Davies and Moffat both repeatedly made the Doctor or companions into the Most Important People in History, Chibnall seems to take it as read that the Doctor can just do stuff as the plot demands it. The climax involves her making a jump over a dangerous drop to the gasps of all assembled, but her first appearance is after an even longer fall where she breaks through the ceiling of a train car and isn’t even scratched. She "reformats” a phone into some kind of tracking gadget with six seconds of thumb typing and builds a new sonic screwdriver out of random scrap, which then solves basically every issue in the story. And, naturally, she can pinpoint things from a billion light-years away.
My favorite Moffat story is probably “The Eleventh Hour” because it presents the Doctor with a genuine challenge at his most vulnerable. If he had his regular tools handy then it would’ve been a much more straightforward Doctor Who story, but there’s no time to stop and build a new sonic screwdriver, because people are going to die by the time he’s finished. I wish more modern stories had that.
4. I can’t tell how I should feel about the side characters here. Not the companions, although it feels like Chibnall looked at RTD’s companions and thought “why not bring the entire family along?” There’s just this odd tension in characterization between comedy and drama for them, and without a very detailed soundtrack it’s hard to tell what emotions the script’s trying to go for.
One of the hunter’s victims has spent years trying to find his missing sister after another hunter abducting her. Instead of any resolution coming to that story he just gets murdered without ever knowing what happened to her and then the Doctor commandeers his workshop. (It’s even made clear that these human trophies are all still alive, just “in stasis”, so there’s no reason to think they couldn’t save her and presumably several others.) Meanwhile one of the main characters suffers a short fall and dies, taking up most of the final act with a funeral despite us hardly knowing her.
Other victims are worse. A man throws pieces of his salad at the monster for no discernible reason - he doesn’t even seem drunk, and then he dies as the hunter crushes that salad underfoot. A security officer gives a heartfelt goodbye to his family and tells them what a lucky granddad he is, then walks offscreen to be murdered. Neither of these scenes had to happen, and both together don’t even fill a minute of the runtime, so what was the motivation? The first is at least charmingly odd, but both of them feel like bizarre, extremely cheap set-pieces.
The soon-to-be-trophy himself listens to positive affirmations in a crane, then shouts them as he’s being chased. “I’m important! I matter!” The implication would seem to be that this is goofy behavior, and yet the things he shouts are in some ways the themes of the show. Is this self-critical deconstruction, unabashed humanism poorly delivered, a running gag?
5. The other half of a new Doctor, classic or modern, is this shedding of old things. Not always in terms of showrunners, but sometimes in attitudes or fans. The change from Six to Seven was motivated by a desire to change the tone of the show, for instance. Nowadays this is reflected a lot by the fandom - every Doctor has newcomers who jump back out because they don’t want their hero to be replaced, but the jump to Eleven confronted a lot of younger fans with this for the first time. Then Twelve culled some fans who couldn’t stand the Doctor being old and unkissable, and now Thirteen’s wiped out her own contingent of grognards who think the Doctor being a woman is a radical idea invented in the last three years.
That said, I’m not a fan yet. Some Doctors I don’t like as much for aspects of their characters, particularly Five, but Thirteen just doesn’t feel Doctorly. (To be clear, neither did Twelve.) I grew to enjoy Matt Smith’s performance where I thought I wouldn’t, and I’ve found a lot to like in every Doctor, but for some reason both of them still feel like actors playing the role to me, where Unbound Doctors and Mark Kalita have captured whatever the core is.
6. I feel like I’m getting old. So much of the beauty of Doctor Who just feels transparent now. After Moffat the maximalist decades of worldbuilding can never convincingly pretend to add up to a coherent universe and they can’t escape into the freedom of canon-indeterminacy any more than they already have. Even Big Finish, which I used to adore, feels strangled by a mandate to realize and box-set every possible combination of whatever actors they can summon from the show, no matter how many tedious hours they have to fill with cardboard characters and back-of-the-napkin monsters.
There’s no excitement in the adventure for me, because I know the route and the destination. And I don’t know if that’s Doctor Who being formulaic or disenchantment from seeing the patterns too much, or some personal lack of spark and imagination. I feel like there must be some drive I don’t have, one that would re-energize my own perspective in the face of concrete understanding, that would see it as a good thing that I understand another layer of what I enjoyed so much without sacrificing that enjoyment. But if it’s there, I just don’t see it.
But hey. While there’s life, there’s...
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