#like was some kid geeking out and he was so nice and normal about it lol

[empty-flat-n-lonely-bys]

Im sorry you MET Evan from EMH????? AND I FIND OUT BY JUST LOOKING AT MY TAGS???? thats cool as hell holy SHIT

pspspdksjsj I always think my Slenderman days are behind me and then there's always a resurgence and it all comes back to me like rembering a past life.

I had been friends with this one girl since we were kids and she had become friends with him and the guy from tribe twelve. she was their age and I was like 16 at the time. they were coming in to a local convention and she invited me cause we all had watched marble hornets and did horror shit together. so we all kicked it in her hotel room all day between panels. At the time it was like my big sister was friends with markiplier, same feeling to me.

[oneslimybastard]

Another underutilized aspect of N, Natural Harmonia Gropius himself, is that he's conceptualized as not just a Math Guy, but a Math Genius if we go by some interview trivia notated on Bulbapedia.

It clearly shows in the way he speaks since his (translated) dialogue (idk about the original japanese one) is full of hamfisted references to formulas and frustration expressed when the chaos of the world does not align with them — which to me is like, the core of his character, something that makes him both An Asshole to deal with but also a very intellectually curios and creative individual. It's just a brand of creativity not a lot of people can keep up with nor understand.

N likes math because a lot of math is about clearly defined variables and their relationship to one another. If you come across an inconsistency that doesn't fit any prior definitions, you iron out a new definition and suddenly the field has expanded upon itself tenfold. It aligns with how his Very Autistic Brain functions, x + y = z, if I do x to y then z will happen. If z doesn't happen, then that just means I have to identify the hidden variables within the exchange and rewrite the formula to be more accurate.

Black and White's quality of writing is. Like pokémon often is. Questionable at best. The foundations are there but the execution is dumbed down and corny because it's still aimed at kids, BW in specific really cutting the theme of pokémon trainer ethics short in favor of just "dang u beat me in the pogiebattle guess ur right!". How-ev-er. In my head, and the reason why I still find the plot of those games compelling (aside for my unhinged thirst for goth man-milf Ghetsis) is that to me they're about local cult-raised autist Normal Henry Gropus bashing his head against the world over and over to desperately try and make the formulas make sense, to distill it into variables he can understand and predict on a consistent basis, and failing miserably at it. Because even if the world is Technically made up of a bunch of chemistry that you could, in theory, predict, there's just a lot of random noise in there from microscopic complexities that fuck everything up.

Pokémon are simpler creatures (discounting the eerily intelligent ones) who will be nice enough to behave like math problems most of the time. Humans rarely extend that grace, the more N studies them like a science project the more contradictory variables pop up. They have a million thoughts in their head he doesn't have access to, that brew into feelings he doesn't understand, which leads to actions he can't do a proper traceback through. Which is frustrating, devastatingly frustrating. At least at first.

Due to how BW2 pans out and my own yearning for thematic mirroring, whereas Ghetsis gives in to the Autistic Bitterness over all these NTs he doesn't fuckign understand, I like to think N develops a sort of joy in studying people like the impossibly complex math problems we are. Because he likes math, he likes figuring shit out, he likes buying a nightmare rubik's cube and charting the squares out on a nightmare variable graph (listen i am not a math guy. i respect the hustle but my skill level is too low to accurately attempt to simulate the process in writing. im sorry math guys) so he has a home-made flexible cheat code on how to solve any possible mix-up of it. It's fun for him, it stimulates his brain and he is so stupid good at it that he can only share that joy with like a stray alakazam or metagross because he's a bit of a tarzan just hanging out in the wilderness, he doesn't know any high end mathematicians he can casually geek out about combinatorial game theory with, and the normies just do not get it .

I think this math enjoying is kind of a big part of his ~Innocence~ as well, since there's a lot of childlike glee to being a Math Guy. It's the love of problem solving as a process rather than a means to an end, it's playful, but severely misunderstood to the point where people kinda might assume things about you if you are a math guy.

N's love of math helps him love the world but it also isolates him. He's a genius, but since he can't communicate it in a palatable way it'll get overlooked in favor of him just being a loomy weirdo on the street chatting up the local patrats.

If introduced to DnD though he'd spend so much time on forging ridiculously optimized multiclass builds, then migrate to digging through old obscure sci-fi ttrpgs from the 80s with hellishly complex systems just for the funsies of learning how the presented variables behave within a variety of frameworks, but then if you actually invited him to play with your group he'd look at you like you'd just called his mom a llama.

He's a neat guy to me, STEM guy who's also one of those animal rights activists who's a little too PETA-coded, I like him :)

[alsmailbox]

Please dont cry little one

This is chapter 1 of my au😃 hooray uhh yeah 😎

Tws:mentions of alcohol and reader has abusive parents because lore logic

S/n stands for siblings nam

Y/n says ninja turtles instead of

the full name

G/n reader

Some misspellings and bad grammar

Chapter 1

It was a normal day, well at least for you your routine stayed the same like it had been ever since you were 3. You would get dropped off by your aunt from preschool, than your parents would yell and hit you for punching a kid square in the face. What can I say he was being a jerk!

So you would lock yourself in your room and watch your favorite show. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, pretty long title for a 6 year old to read am I right? You always thought you were cool for being able to read earlier than everyone, even if you got bullied and got called a nerd, geek, weirdo and smartass.

So there you were sitting on the dirty stained carpet of your room, sitting in front of you and your older siblings bunk bed. They hadn’t gotten home yet

Since they walked home. You decided to go on your tablet playing games till you eventually bore yourself out. So you grabbed the remote to the small tv on the dresser fill with stained old and wrinkled clothes. Scrolling till you finally found (app to watch rottmnt on) putting on your favorite show.

Making small comments and laughing at the small jokes and remarks. But this specific day it was a little weird. Because every once in while every time you giggled or commented, it was almost like they heard you. The four mutants acting strange. Stranger than they usually were in the tv show. Whatever your sibling had come home anyway. So you turned off the tv opening the door and running to give them a bear hug, causing the both of you to almost lose balance from the impact.

“Hey y/n, it’s nice to see you to.” Your sibling had said a soft smile on their bruised face, Like they always did. “S/n! Do you wanna watch ninja turtles?” You said excitedly practically jumping up and down. “I can’t right now small fry I have to think about what we can eat for dinner, but hey I was able to snag some ham on the way here! So I was thinking maybe a ham sandwich?” They said pulling out the pack of ham that looked like it was stolen from the deli down the street.

It was for sure to be found and eaten by your drunk parents if you don’t hide it behind something like a pack of beers they haven’t opened yet. But we just have to wait and see what happens “Sure! I haven’t had a ham sandwich in like a gazillion years!” You said over exaggerating the gazillion part. “We haven’t had a ham sandwich in a day, don’t be so dramatic.” Your older sibling said rolling their eyes and softly smiling in a teasingly matter.

After the sandwiches were prepared your sibling and you took the plates to your room. Closing the door behind you quietly, as to not wake up your parents that would for sure have a hangover when they got up.

After getting settled in and sitting down on the floor infront of your beds, you and your sibling turn on the tv putting on your favorite show eating your sandwiches laughing and giggling at every stupid joke in the show. Although like earlier the 4 turtles were acting really strange and it seemed like your sibling had noticed. After you finished your sandwiches your sibling turned the tv off and you helped each other with your nightly routines.

“Okay y/n we have to go to sleep.” Your older sibling said in a somewhat stern voice. “Please just one more episode!” You begged them tugging on their pajama shirt. “Okay okay fine one more episode and then we have to go to bed or else mom and dad will get mad at us, okay?” Your sibling had finally gave in after you gave them your most precious puppy eyes. “Yay!” You had cheered quietly as to not be heard by your parents.

After your sibling turned the tv on and put the volume on low, halfway through the episode you fell asleep. The last thing you remember was seeing the tv screen illuminating infront of you and your siblings beds.

All of this was copy and pasted from my notes app so if it’s a little weird it’s probably because of that. But anyway this chapter was shorter than I thought but here ya go, I might start working on chapter 2 in awhile idk when yet tho because I have to work on school but I’ll get chapter 2 done as soon as I can😅 and this is my first time like actually putting one of my works on here I’m still not sure abt the name yet

[poppadom0912]

Med Students

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, Will Halstead

Warnings: Brief mentions of surgery, gossiping/backbiting, scary attendings

Summary: Stupid students don't gossip quiet enough.

A/N: This isn't exactly what I planned. Not too sure if I like it but it is what it is I guess. I'm posting this in commemoration of the last day of Christmas break. I'm very much not looking forward to getting back to normal life.

*****

Strolling into the moderately quiet ED, Jay was pleasantly surprised at the volume and the lack of people sitting in the waiting room. Spying Will behind a computer doing he's not too sure what, he walked up to him, nudging him with his elbow.

"Hey, you know where Y/N is?" Jay asked, leaning his back against the desk as his eyes inspected the ED.

"Hey Will, how are you brother? How's your day? How's work? You good?" Will sarcastically replied, changing his tone as he imitated Jay. "It's good to see you too Jay."

"What's up Will?" Jay rolled his eyes, caving into his older brothers 'wants and needs'. He was on a schedule and it needed to be followed because if he wasn't back at work in an hour, Voight would probably have his head.

"Mrs Halstead is currently in surgery, she might be a minute but you shoulda seen the guy." Will started gushing, lowkey geeking out on the patient that was brought in. "He was pushed onto the road, had like threes cars max run over him and he somehow is still alive and breathing. Her and Connor have been in their for two hours now, who knows when they'll finish."

"Thanks man." Jay said, clapping Will on the shoulder but either brother made indication that they were moving, Will was doing his patients charts and Jay had nowhere else to be for the next hour.

"I've heard they're called the 'Amok'."

"But we're doctors?"

"I know right, that's what I said!"

"Omg, how could they let a dude like that teach a bunch of students?"

"I knew I should've gone to Lakeshore."

Jay rose his brow in suspicion and curiosity. Looking over at the small group of young adults, standing not too far from where the brothers stood since they could clearly make out their whispers. It was clear that were out of their league.

"And who are they?" Jay asked, crossing his arms, not realising that his action made his badge and gun stand out more than they already were.

Will looked up from the computer, following Jay's line of sight before shaking his head, huffing with some sort of smile. "It's that time of year again, we get sent a bunch of students and Y/N decided that she'd give them a try instead of Ethan. Something about doing it before he got here and missing teaching."

"Huh." Jay said to himself, not recalling you telling him anything about this. If you'd been this excited about teaching, he was sure you'd be gushing about it to him several times over most meals you shared.

"Maybe he's hot."

"Or he's old and a creep."

"What if he's a pedo?!"

"Then he'd be fired Janet. Have you seen Ms Goodwin, cause she's scary."

"What if the 'Amok' is a woman?"

...

"Maybe she's hot."

"Or she's really nice and totally not strict."

"We'll have this year in the bag, easy."

"What if she'd like a young doctor? Look around us and there's plenty of young docs."

"Are you trying to get into her pants? Ew dude!"

"Heck yeah man!"

Now, Jay was ticked. These kids were speculating and it totally would've been fine if they weren't making such comments, especially about his wife. Will also caught on, rolling his eyes, sharing Jay's frustration.

While the students were surveying the ED as they gossiped, they lay eyes on Jay and before any comment could be made on his gorgeous appearance, they caught sight of his gun and badge sitting on his belt.

"Shit, what's a fed doing here?"

"He's hot."

"Him next to doctor Halstead, my ovaries."

"Shh, you're so loud!"

"Anyways, back to the sexy doctor we were talking bout..."

Jay scoffed, more than ready to go up to the kids so he could give them a piece of his mind. Normally, he would've let such petty things get under his skin but these students caught him on the wrong day.

Before Jay could even take a step towards the huddled group, from the corner of his eyes he found the only woman that he loved more than life itself.

You were back in your maroon scrubs, your surgical cap still on your head since you just came back from giving the wife the good news. With the brightest smile on your face, so bright that it could brighten up the darkest of rooms.

The students were obviously doing worse at whispering then they thought. At the same time, you found Jay and the med students that would be shadowing you for the next year.

At the sight of your husband, your smile only got bigger, almost chuckling at your handsome man who looked so delicious but even with most the tension gone from his body, you noticed his crossed arms. Your brother-in-law, who stood besides Jay, wasn't looking in your direction but instead, was glaring at the young adults.

Following his line of sight, you beamed at the students, your excitement causing your smile to widen even further than it already was. Before you could introduce yourself, only taking a few steps towards them, you caught them mid through their conversation.

"50 she'll flirt back."

"You're on."

"Don't be such pigs. The name 'Amok' sounds pretty masculine to me."

"Either way, they're going to kill us."

"That surgeon is hot."

Your smile fell faster than a pulse would if burst a vessel. It seemed that by doing so, you caught the attention of nearly the entire ED, everyone somehow sensing the sudden drop in your mood; the air must've shifted or something.

"And she's staring right at us."

"Oh shit."

"That's it, we're fucked."

"Oh my Gosh, it's her."

"It's been great knowing you guys."

"No it hasn't."

Raising your brows, you inspected the group of students heavily, finding it funny how they shrunk under your scrutinising eyes. It was somewhat entertaining watching them squirm but you'd have a better 'punishment' for them later down the line for their gossiping.

"I want you guys to stick by Maggie's hip. She wants something done, it gets done beyond outstanding standards. I don't care if she wants you getting coffee, you do it. Understood?" You said sternly, leaving no room for any objections.

In sync, they all nodded their heads, instantly agreeing with you even if they weren't happy with their given roles for their first day on the job.

With a smirk, you watched them scurry away towards the charge nurse who was waiting for them. A knowing look in her eyes, a hand on her hip as she smiled and winked at you from afar. You'd find yourself listening to her retell their day at Molly's tonight.

With the students out of your sight, you spun around and your face lit up at the sight of your husband. Despite the dark colours he wore in comparison to your brother-in-law, you noticed and ran to him first.

"Husband!" You wrapped your arms around him tightly, sighing in content when he enveloped you in his, his cologne drowning your senses. You briefly heard Will say something along the lines of no one cared about him before he left you two alone, something about he knew how single he was without it being shoved in his face.

"Wife." Jay kissed your temple, tightening his arms around you. He would proudly say it any day that he was proud of you and found it amusing to watch you boss around the younger doctors.

"How long have you been waiting?" You asked, pulling away from him but not too far so he could still have his arms around you. Hopefully he hadn't been waiting too long and you could still have lunch together before it got too late.

"Long enough to hate those kids guts." Jay pouted slightly, squinting his eyes almost threateningly in remembrance of what was said about you. "Was this close to telling them your the wife of a detective so they'd back off."

"My hero." You pretended to swoon, cheekily smiling at his faux hurt expression. "What would I do without you."

"Forget to eat your lunch, that's what." Jay said, indirectly reminding you that lunch still needed to be eaten.

"Yes! To the cafeteria we go." You smiled, pecking him on the cheek before grabbing his hand, intertwining your fingers with his so you could leave the ED together.

From the corner of your eye, you could feel several eyes following you and Jay as you left and without looking back, you knew who it was. You were sure that tomorrow, you'd be spoken to with much more respect and wariness than what you witnessed today.

The students wouldn't make that mistake again, especially in front of your husband.

[gordonzola-ramen]

My mutual @alectricblue tagged me in this game tag! I normally dont do these, but I thought it'd be nice to get to know me more (and also meet y'all if you wish to participate)!

It will be long though. Sorry

1. Were you named after anyone?

Was originally gonna be named Andrea after a ballerina my grandma liked! Sadly no one remembered her well, not even grandma, so I don't know much about her.

My deadname was simply just chosen bc it was easy to pronounce, as well as my chosen name Diego (it's what I would've been called had I been male), although when I chose it for myself I liked the JoJo character Diego Brando so there was some correlation there.

Funnily enough, people think I'm nicknamed Lio after the Promare character, but I hadn't met them yet.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. At 11pm. Watching OR3O's One Piece song. It was nostalgic ok

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. There's an absurd amount of reasons I don't want them, although not a single one is because I dislike them. I've had to babysit many kids and they've all been very sweet.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oof, my recent sports is taking my dog for a walk. But I used to like volleyball and kickball! And reluctantly played soccer and did swimming! Sports give me a lot of anxiety and i'm not sure why.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I do a lot of teasing and lighthearted banter that can sometimes be considered sarcasm?

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes! Or anything outstanding like cool hairstyles or visible tattoos.

With online people, I mostly recognize them by pfp or a vague mental pronunciation of their username.

7. What's your eye color?

Dark brown?? Or black??

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Honestly, whatever makes me think more. Unhappy endings tend to do that more though, so I guess scary movies! But of course it depends on the mood, sometimes I just want a nice story to cheer me up.

9. Any talents?

I've been told I am talented at the piano! And music in general, although most of my skills feel less like talent and more like just studying the thing.

10. Where were you born?

So I was born in the US, in Florida, but my entire family is from Costa Rica and I just happened to be born while my parents were studying abroad. I don't remember much from the US though, I came back to CR with my grandma in my first months because she was less busy than my parents, and then they came to live here again. So in my eyes I've been a true Costa Rican since always hehe

11. What are your hobbies?

Playing the piano! Also drawing sometimes (I like to color more than draw, but unless I get my hands on a coloring book I can't do that unless I draw), playing videogames (mostly RPGs and visual novels), and doomscrolling.

12. Do you have any pets?

YESSSS my beloved dog Mia!!!!!!!!!!! I love her so much, she escaped her abusive home and we found her while walking around a plaza, said hi, and she followed us home. She's been with us for 8 years now and I adore her. Reference below because how can I not show her off:

13. How tall are you?

Excellent question. I forgot but I'm average if that helps!

14. Favorite subject in school?

It changed over the years, in senior year it was English because we had my favorite teacher! I knew him for years because he has a literature club I partook in, so I was very happy to have classes with him. Plus, we saw the Oresteia, which goes tremendously hard especially when your teacher geeks out about all the symbolisms.

Apart from that, computer class! We barely ever had it, and almost had it cut out entirely in senior year, but the few times we did I really enjoyed programming and practicing typing! And when we didn't do anything we could play so.

15. Dream job?

I want to make my own videogame! So I'd say a game developer, although being a part of any videogame, especially RPGs, would be a dream come true.

Well thank you for reading, I hope that was some insight, it was very fun to reply!

Tagging section (no pressure to do it at all, you can also do it if you're not tagged who cares)

@skyllion-uwu @thefrogswhospoke @gorgeousuare @chronologicalimplosion @fishy-lilic @smoothedsmoothie @mx-mind @montied @aspirationatwork @jhofoyitchg @derkhue @mellomaia @federalfazbear @mcfinnigan @mutantsgurls @foxounderscorecube @sweetnessfollowsmp3 @mildredtefoneck @oh-my-stars1969 @unfullbucket @fluffnfuzzxoxo @electriceel69 @scottigyn @stressedsilverware @sapphicrobotenjoer @antjellies @milk1non-tolarantes @ovalbrain @chocokhaos @markdiegamer @astralix13 @atheist-xmas @blktomekurata @monstar-dreams @glass-duke @c--eam @laooneart

[pleaseholdfor5hours]

Random Middle School memories part 4

(Link to part 3)

School dress codes are put into order for a reason. At this age the children can still get easily distracted. The dress codes were fair, more fair then most schools, at least they didn't ban girls from wearing tank tops and were fair about most clothing choices for the students. The school mostly didn't like the students wearing hats, which was easy to follow.

But today Issac had no clue how to address whatever the heck Ikari was wearing today. Would he dress code Ikari? His clothing didn't break any of the rules but it was different than most normal clothing. Issac couldn't even recognize at Ikari first because he looked like someone else.

Ikari sat at his desk, wearing a black wig, some crazy cloak, and purple eye contacts. Issac normally doesn't stare but he couldn't stop starting at Ikari. He was so confused. Was the boy going through a identity crisis? Was this the start of early teenage rebellion? Well now he had to ask because he was a little worried for Ikari.

Issac went up to Ikari's desk, Ikari was busy drawing another anime girl in his notebook again. "Good morning, Ikari. The look seems interesting. What's with the sudden change?" Issac asked nicely, though he was worried on the inside.

Ikari looked up and smiled brightly. "Good morning! This is my cosplay, I'm Lelouch from Code Geass. Cool right? I made the cloak myself! Sure I may have pricked my fingers while sewing but it was so worth it." Ikari said proudly, flipping some of the hair of his wig.

Issac gave a slight sigh of relief, but now he was left with more questions. "Uh, what's a cosplay? Also who's Lelouch?" Issac asked which caused Ikari to gasp.

"You don't know who Lelouch is? Have you never watched Code Geass? Because you should watch it. Best anime as of right now by my standards. Lelouch is the main character, and he's super cool, so I decided to dress like him." Ikari then proceeded to almost go over the whole lore of Code Geass season 1 before Issac had to stop him.

"Woah woah, too much too much information. That doesn't answer my other question. What is a cosplay?" Issac asked again. Ikari gives a disappointed look.

"Old man, cosplay is where cool people like I, dress up in costumes of our favorite pop culture character. We mostly make these costumes ourselves and show them off at a anime conventions. Those places are also cool because you get to buy merch and see art as well." Ikari explained with the proud look still on his face.

It took Issac to process all of this. This what happens when Ikari is the first one to class before school starts in 40 minutes. He gets some 12 year old geeking out over anime, who is probably high on sugar and caffeine. Once Issac had finished processing the whole Code Geass lore he now had to process what Ikari meant by cosplay.

"So.... you dress up like fictional characters and go out like them?......" He asked, unsure if he was right. Ikari nods and gives a thumbs up.

"Bingo. It's for fun!" Issac thought about it before softly smiling and giving a nod.

"Well whatever makes you happy, kid. Just try not to come to school dressed like that all the time, other staff members might not be so lenient on the cloak thing. Also I might accidentally mark you absent since you're not Ikari, but Lelouch now." Issac chuckled as he went along with Ikari's little fun.

Ikari pouts a little. "What? You know it me. I'm not Lelouch, I just so happen to look like him. Don't mark me absent." He continued to pout while Issac laughed a little.

"I'm just messing with ya. Of course, I won't mark you absent." Ikari stopped pouting after that and chuckled as well. He seemed to relax.

The warning bell to hurry to class rang and other students start coming in. Issac goes back to his desk to start the lesson plan and Ikari goes back to doodling in his notebook. What a interesting little start to the morning.

[alexdelray1]

Miles 42 x Fem Reader.

Warnings: Bad words and mentions of death.

Type: Fluff.

One and last time people. I am Reader Corrow.

I come from Earth 42 and at the age of 15 I was infected with spider DNA through an accident in my aunt's lab. Better not to go into details. I've been the only Spider-Woman for several months now. I saved a lot of people, arrested some bad guys and killed one guy in self-defense, but it's not the best memory. I'm not the best student or genius so my aunt made my costume understanding my situation. It is beautiful. I just don't know what else to say about it.

I've been going to 'Visions' school for two years and I'm studying there to become a scientist. Great ambition, great power and great responsibility. It's true that it's terrible pressure, but it works. I also have my friend Miles. He's kind of how to say...weird. He wasn't always like this, but after his dad died, he started to get darker and more mysterious. At first I thought it was normal after losing a loved one that he goes somewhere at night and don't want to talk as much as he used to. I went through it myself, but it's been going on for a year. So is Prowler's presence on the streets of New York.

-Miles, do you have time today?- I asked him on the way home from school. Miles looked the other way, still serious.

-Not really.- he replied, sighing.

-What are you doing today, mister mystery?- I joked and chuckled.

-None of your business.- he replied still seriously.

-Ok I understand. Don't be so tense. - I didn't want to delve into the topic anymore because I knew that he would sulk soon.

-Sorry. I just don't have time lately. Do you understand?- He stopped and asked me.

-Yeah. I see. We have exams soon anyway and you're top of the class. You can't take a geek's nose out of a book.- I laughed and started walking towards his house again because it was closer.

-Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if I'm smart or you're a bunch of idiots. Eh, I'm betting on both.- Miles finally joked and we started laughing.

-Maybe you're right. Okay, we're at your place. - I said and we stood in front of his tenement house.

-Bye Reader. See you tomorrow.- He replied and started walking up the stairs to the door.

-Bye Miles.- I said goodbye and walked the other way. I hope he doesn't fall asleep at his desk again.

TIME SKIP.

This costume is not only very comfortable, but also metal. I normally have Tony Stark-like technology. And it's fucking awesome with that costume. Now all I have to do is wait for some motherfucker to come and destroy it by ripping my stomach open. But that's not until I get a kid and Marvel thinks my life is a little too happy.

-This view gets prettier every night.- I sighed while sitting on the roof of the skyscraper. It's night time and the criminals get up to get kicked in the ass by me. My spider sense warned me. I caught the knife that was thrown at me.

-And you keep getting uglier and smaller every night.- Prowler commented behind me.

-I can say the same about your dick Prowler.- I retaliated and he let out a disgruntled grunt.

-Hahaha funny now let's get serious.- He said sarcastically and aimed a blow at me.

-You know there's always time to switch sides.- I said blocking his attack.

-No thanks, I like my old good side.- He replied trying to throw me off balance.

-It's funny, because you're not on the good side at all.- I laughed, kicking him in the face and he fell a few meters away.

-You're probably always like this.- He commented and got to his feet, preparing to attack.

-Oh, you are very nice. I'll be honest.- I said and he laughed.

-What can I say. I'm always nice to some level.- He replied and attacked me.

-This level is probably in the negative.- I jumped and landed behind him.

-As always, painfully honest. And don't wait. It means that you lie to most of the people around you with some excuses. Tell me. How many people know you're Spider-Woman?- he asked, trying to evoke my sadness.

-Do you count the dead people?- I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

-You can't discriminate against the dead.- he replied, raising his arms.

-Two. And don't try this tactic. I bet you do that yourself. Lie to everyone. Except for one person. I don't believe you're alone in this shit.- I said.

-Maybe you're right. May not. You're an interesting person. I'm curious what faces you are making under this mask now. - He confided and started to approach me.

- You sound like a psychologist. And under my mask I make faces that are meant only for me, my mirror and nice people. And you don't look like a mirror or a nice person.- my 'watch' started to pip.

- Shit.- I cursed and started to fight the Prowler.

-Spider-Woman from Earth 42 is being called to the main hall on Earth 2099. Immediately.- My 'watch' started chirping.

-What?- asked the confused Prowler, trying to grab my hand on which I had a 'watch'.

-Fuck. Lyla. Can't you see I'm busy?- I asked my "watch" and kicked the Prowler in the face.

-It is very important. We have a 'rebel' and you have to help the others stop him.- Lyla said without showing up.

-It's so stupid. Let the boy or girl do whatever they want on his or her earth.- I sighed, ignoring the fact that the Prowler got up from the ground.

-But he's an anomaly on his own earth...- Lyla said and I froze.

-Oh shit. I'll be there in a moment. Sorry handsome, but I have work to do. - I said and stood on the edge of the building.

-Wait! What's the deal with Earth 42 and what was it?!- Prowler tried to run up to me, but I jumped off the roof.

-Bye bye!- I said and opened the portal. I flew into it, leaving my villain behind. What a pity I couldn't kick his ass longer.

END. Do you guys like Beyoncé?

[slimylittlemaggot]

Just remembered that I have OC art I can share, so let me just geek out a little bit about my OC’s.

So! This is about demon clowns. They normally stay in hell and just preform there, but occasionally they will travel to earth and preform there, but often while they’re there they will steal kids to join their show, which leads to lot of folktales, wives tales, and superstition. Anyway, here are the demons!

Here’s Will, the ring leader of the circus. When he was alive, he was a general asshole and liked to make a fool of people, so when he died he was brought back as a clown. He decided to go and find a bunch of other dead clowns and made a circus! Like I said, he’s just generally an asshole. He cares a lot about the circus and it’s performers, but he doesn’t give two shits about the customers and enjoys scamming them out of anything he can get out of them.

This is Charlie! She trains the animals in the circus, preforms with them, and takes care of them. She likes teaching anyone that’ll listen about animals. She’s very dependable, and not easily impressed. She is more of the leader type, but doesn’t like to interact with people outside of the circus if it isn’t to gush about animals. When she was alive she was a zoo keeper/veterinarian (she didn’t technically work as a veterinarian, but she did study it in college) and so when she died she kept that passion and learned everything she could about the animals in hell. She ended up in hell because she ended up murdering a man who mistreated animals, but she doesn’t regret it (and she shouldn’t)

Here’s Tippy Tap! She was naturally born in hell, so she never had a life on earth. She’s the fortune teller for the circus! She likes working out and being able to scare customers, but she’ll also sneak little knickknacks to kids. She collects rocks, gems, and gold. No one is really sure what she is, but most think that she’s some kind of bull/sheep/moth demon. She is also a huge astronomy nerd, and every time the circus goes to earth she likes to take notes on the stars and steals books all about astronomy. She also likes to cook for the circus! She mainly makes stew and pasta, but she can also make really good steak.

Next is Pitter Patter, Tippy Tap’s sister. Pitter is also a naturally born demon, so she also didn’t live on earth. People seem to think the Pitter is some kind of sheep demon, but she isn’t. She’s still the same species as Tippy Tap, just has some different features. Pitter loves kids, and keeps candy in her bag just to give out to them. She makes friendship bracelets, or really any kind of friendship jewelry, for all of her friends (which is everyone is the circus, and also about 30 or so customers) and she is very social and nice. She runs the merchandise stands, and can get anyone to buy anything just by being nice to them. She is also the one to make clothes for the circus!

And then here’s Kat! She does ballet shows, and also teaches ballet to kids. She tends to be very serious, and can’t really take a joke. She is very serious about her craft, and prides herself on her ability to preform. She is very disciplined, and enjoys getting to show off a little. She can be a little arrogant, but to be fair she is very good at what she does. She tends to have very flat expressions, but can be more expressive around kids. When she was alive, she was a very famous ballerina. Unfortunately, during one of her recitals she fell off of stage and died. At first the audience didn’t realize that it was a serious fall and so instead of helping they laughed at her. By the time they realized, she was already dead. She ended up in hell because she would often harass and overwork the other performers.

And here is her assistant, Lina! Lina is a big prankster, and much more silly than Kat. Lina also takes pride in her art, and is quite skilled, but much less arrogant than Kat is. Lina will take over Kat’s ballet lessons when Kat can’t do them. Lina was just starting to make own career when she died. She was bitten by a spider and didn’t receive treatment, and she she ended up dying of an infection just a few days later. Lina also now has a fear of spiders, so tends to avoid going into Charlie’s room. Lina can be a little rude, but she’s working on it. She ended up in Hell because she used to bully kids in the art program.

Next is Bub, Lina’s boyfriend! Bub is very shy, very nervous person. He isn’t very outspoken, and he cry’s whenever he feels an extreme emotion. Bub enjoys soap making, and also likes to sew! He makes little plushies for sale, and also gives them to members of the circus. Bub handles making and selling balloons, and also makes balloon animals! When he was alive he also sold balloons, so while he was blowing up a balloon to turn into a flower, he accidentally swallowed it instead and choked. Bub ended up in hell not because he was a bad person, but because he just didn’t find Heaven to be all that it was cracked up to be, and so decided to voluntarily go to hell to see if it was any better.

Next is Jamie! Jamie is the class clown. She pulls pranks, tells jokes, is just generally mischievous. She can be very childish, but is a very fun person to be around. she often takes her jokes too far, which can lead to the other person getting frustrated or upset. Jamie works as a general clown, she does shows and goes around the circus telling jokes. She ended up dying after eating an octopus, which she ended up getting food poisoning from and died because of. She ended up in hell because, again, she would take her jokes way too far.

And here’s Benny! Benny is very smart, but also very mischievous and loves helping Jamie with pranks. He makes all the technical things for the circus, like lights and cameras. Benny hates being around people outside of the circus, so he stays behind the scenes. Benny ended up dying when one of his inventions malfunctioned and exploded in his face. Benny went to hell because he ended up never helping people in life, preferring to keep to himself.

(The last three will be in the reblog)

[mateidontevenknow]

ONESHOT ALERT

Fandom: WWE Women's division

Ship: Rhea Ripley x Becky Lynch x OC (Fem)

Good girl.

I pulled into the parking lot of the big stadium, before striding towards the door. My manager told me that I should get to know the atmosphere before my first show tomorrow. I agreed with him.

When I walked through the door I was immediately feeling out of place. I saw a few people in the small space, it reminded me of a school hallway with jocks, cheerleaders, band kids, geeks and a random dude with a ladder. I adjusted the strap on my duffle bag before taking a few slow steps forward.

I jumped as an arm landed across my shoulders. Rhea Ripley stared down at me with a strange look. Damn, she's gorgeous. She had an air of authority around her, it scared me a little.

"You're jumpy. You're the new girl, right?"

Her Aussie accent was thicker in real life than in the interview I watched. I feel a little stupid knowing so much about her, while she doesn't even know my name, but that's fine.

"Yeah, Anne Winger, nice to meet you."

I wasn't as confident as I sounded but that's fine. She didn't need to know that. Then another smokeshow approached. She looked like fire personified, with red hair and an air of authority around her just like Rhea's. Becky Lynch. The Man. Damn.

She spoke to me in a Scottish accent.

"Hey Anne, right? I look forward to our match tomorrow."

"Yeah, same."

The words rolled off my tongue automatically, as if I was talking to a friend. It was strange. And before I knew it she was off again towards one of the hairdressers.

"Ok I need to get going, match is almost starting. I'll see you later."

I nodded at Rhea and headed off to find someone who could point me in the right direction. I came across Charlotte Flair first but I deemed her unapproachable. I spotted a whip of a black braid. Bianca Belair, she was approachable. Scary but approachable. And hot.

"Excuse me, can you point me in the direction of the gym?"

"Oh yeah, of course. Wait, are you the new one, Anne Winger?"

I was slightly relieved to not be swatted away like a fly.

"Yup, that's me. I'm kind of lost. Can you help me?"

"Sure."

She grabbed me by the arm before giving me a tour of the backstage area, eventually leaving me in the gym. I thanked her and she walked away towards Sonya Deville. I decided that starting was the hard part, that I'd be fine if a could just get into my normal workout routine. I put my ear phones in my ears and hopped on a treadmill.

After my strength training I jumped as someone touched my shoulder, turning around I was met with Finn Balor. My little pansexual heart couldn't deal with it anymore. I quickly removed my ear phones.

"Hey, new girl, what kind of stretches were those?"

"They're for gymnasts. I was a contortionist for a circus a few years back and that was how I warm up."

"Damn, ok."

With that he disappeared. Not sure what happened in that conversation, but at least he wasn't disappointed. I exited the gym before walking on the beat of my music, heading towards my car.

I'm fighting the Man tomorrow, what could go wrong?

I was more excited than I thought I'd be. Honestly being tossed around and beaten up by Becky Lynch didn't sound like a bad thing.

~

"And tonight we introduce out newest star, ANNE WINGER!!"

Finally the moment came. I strutted towards the ring with a bloody smile. She was stood waiting for me. I jumped into the ring before smiling at the crowd once more. The ref started us off and she circled me.

She dove at me first and my back bent, letting her dive right over me, rolling onto the ground. The crowd cheered. She turned back towards me before running at me. I jumped up high, letting her go right under me towards the ropes. She bounced back towards me and I dodged her again. I started playing offense out of necessity, I couldn't run forever.

I attempted a suplex but she turned it around making me hit the mat. I readjusted my jaw before throwing some punches to her stomach and like that we danced. She landed more moves than I did, but I was durable. Eventually she had me in a prism trap. I couldn't see a way out.

I didn't feel anything. We stayed in that position. I didn't flail or scream. I just stood on my hands waiting for her to do something. Realizing this wasn't working, she trapped my arms instead, pulled them behind my head with her boot on my back. She pulled as much as she could, amazed when my arms crossed each other behind me. Her moves didn't work on me.

I took advantage of her shock, kicking her in the head, performing a roll over and pinning her shoulders to the floor. She struggled but she didn't kick out in time. The crowd erupted as the commentator announced the winner of the match.

~

I answered some fan questions before heading backstage. I found Becky and Rhea waited for me. Becky didn't look happy.

"What was that?? Are you cheating?"

I quickly shook my head.

"No, I know about the prism trap and whatever the other thing is called but for some reason they don't work on me. I don't know what happened. "

Rhea spoke up for the first time.

"You know, Becks, we could go get Shayna. She'll know more about this. She's in the gym."

"Fine."

Becky was still fuming but she seemed to realize the genius in Rhea's plan. Either way I probably get hurt, so a win for her I guess.

The three of us went up to the gym, where Shayna was brutalizing a punching bag. Becky called out to her.

"Shayna, you got a second?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"We need you to test something. Anne here seems to be immune to every submission move I tried on her. I know she's flexible but I need someone to test exactly how flexible."

A wicked smirk appeared on Shayna's face.

"I'm game. C'mon into the ring."

I followed her into the sparring ring as Becky and Rhea watched us.

Shayna started with the classics. Some of them were uncomfortable but not enough to make me tap out. She tried everything from a figure four to the Cobra Clutch eventually ended on a Tongan Death Grip. Shayna growled in frustration before turning to Becky.

"What the fuck? Is this some kind of prank? There is no way."

Becky gave her a deadpan stare.

"Exactly what I said."

"Ok anyway, I'm gonna go, I promised Liv I'd go grab a coffee with her."

~

Every since my encounter with Shayna, she's been attacking me randomly, convinced I was cheating some how. The last time was in the hallway while Bianca introduced me to John Cena. Not the way I wanted our first meeting to go. Could have met John Cena without the Hammerlock but sure I guess.

I was going up against Rhea next and Alexa Bliss dragged me towards a makeup artist before to match. Apparently I looked good in Navy Blue.

Rhea spent her time tossing me around. I couldn't do much as she had both a height and strength advantage. But I was fast and flexible. I enjoyed the fight immensely. She's pretty when she's angry. I kicked her a few times, delivered a tornado and I tried a Cobra Clutch, but she powered herself out. Her destructive high risk moves made it easier for me. All I had to do was dodge, but eventually my moves turned sloppy and after 15 minutes I was exhausted. She beat me up a little more, taunting me by grabbing my face gently in her hand as I was about to pass out. She pinned me and I accepted my defeat, going limp underneath her.

I could picture Becky and Shayna celebrating Rhea's victory.

I was on my back in the ring, listening to the commentators and fans cheering as Rhea answer questions and posed for photos. Eventually I heard Rhea close to me.

"C'mon, we need to clear the ring for Hunter and Kurt. You need to get up, or I'm going to have to carry you out."

"Carry me, I don't think I can walk."

Rhea chuckled at me before lifting me up in her arms. The commentators noticed and made a few jokes about it, before Rhea took me backstage. She put me down on the floor, directly in front of Becky who was sat on the couch behind me.

"You two look terrible. But I can't blame you, that was intense. And it took ages."

Rhea shot her a look before plopping down next to her, turning on the TV in front of us to watch Kurt and Hunter. After a few minutes, I grew weak, resting my head against Becky's legs. She shifted her leg, before dropping her head to speak to me.

"Come sit up here, before you fall asleep like that."

I painfully stood up, before falling back down in the small space between Becky and Rhea. Rhea threw an arm over my shoulders and Becky let one of her hands rest on my thigh. After a while, my eyes started to fall shut, my head falling back.

I forced my eyes open as I heard someone enter the room. It was Shayna. Not wanting to be tossed around again, I quickly grabbed my stuff, thanked Rhea for the match and wished the three women a good night before exiting. Not noticing the glance Rhea shared with Becky, I made a beeline for my car.

~

An hour later I sat at my hotel room desk with some cheap takeaway pizza and a liter of Coke. It was an exhausting day and I deserved it. I lifted the last piece from the box, staring at the TV in my room. I was watching an old NXT match between Rhea and Becky.

Then a knock made me pause the match. I frowned, slowly creeping towards the door. I pulled it open a little bit before a tattooed hand pushed it the rest of the way. It was Rhea, but she wasn't alone.

Becky strutted into the room was a backpack in her hands as Rhea held the door for her. She immediately spotted the TV screen, still paused on their match.

"So you had the same idea as us."

"What do you mean? Why are you two here?" I raised an eyebrow in her direction as Rhea closed the door, locking it. She turned to face me while Becky searched for the TV remote.

"We can go," I frowned at that, "but that look tells me you don't want us to."

Becky chimed in as she muted the TV, rewinding to the start of the match. "To answer your question, we are here for the same reason you are watching this match. The problem we had though, is that we don't have access to any of your old matches. So we thought we'd drop by to answer some of our questions." She pulled out a bundle of rope from the backpack. "And, of course, to find out how flexible you really are." She grinned at me, pulling the rope tight between her fingers.

Rhea leapt into action. Pulling me closer to her, she smashed her lips into mine as her hand cupped my face. Her other hand pinched the soft parts on my hip, making me gasp. She used this opportunity to force her tongue into my mouth. Two arms wrapped around my waist. I felt my feet leave the ground and suddenly I was being carried towards the bed.

She broke the kiss, throwing me onto the bed. Becky flipped me over onto my stomach.

"Let's start with a reverse prayer. How does that sound?"

She forced my arms behind my back as Rhea held my legs still. My head pressing painfully into the pillow. I groaned as Becky immediately forced my arms into a near impossible position. Bringing them behind my back, she bent my elbow letting my hands face eachother just below my neck. She tied the rope around my bicep, securing it to my forearm. I squeaked as she repeated the process on my other arm, before forcing my palms together over my spine.

Rhea let go of my legs, giving me the opportunity to try and kick Becky off. I made a weak attempt, but was stopped when Becky moved to sit on top of my calfs. I struggled against the rope as I heard fabric rip.

I gasped as my bare back was exposed to air. Rhea tore the rest of my tank top clean off. Then lifted my head to whisper in my ear.

"Are you gonna be a good girl for us? Or are we gonna have a problem?"

"I'll be," I gulped as she cut a slit in the front of my sportsbra. "I'll be good."

Smirking, she flipped me over to rip off my bra. Dropping me on my back, pressure bloomed in my shoulder as my bound arms were crushed beneath my own weight. She let out a low whistle as Becky smirked.

"You look so pretty, tied up and exposed like this. Just for us."

I whined as Becky attached her mouth to my neck, leaving bite marks and bruises. Rhea plucked off my shorts before burying her head in my thighs. She sucked at my inner thighs making them quiver.

Rhea moved up, sucking at my clit through my underwear. My back arched. Becky pinched one of my nipples, taking the other between her teeth causing moans to tumble off my tongue. Rhea pulled my underwear out of the way, burying two fingers in my wet hole.

"Soaking wet, just for us."

I whimpered as she curled her fingers inside me, my legs shaking. Becky released my swollen nipples and stood up, sitting back down with my head between her knees.

"You don't get to cum before I do. Am I clear?"

I could barely nod as Rhea played with my clit. I leaned up, sticking my tongue into her hole. She gripped my hair painfully hard. Rubbing her pussy against my tongue, she rode my face. I flicked my tongue against her clit and she was pushed over the edge. I licked up every drop of her orgasm, feeling my own approaching.

Rhea fucked me with three fingers while her other hand held my hip impossibly tight. She put pressure on my clit with her thumb and my orgasm tore through me. I screamed out.

"Rhea, yes! Rhea- Becky- Oh God, please!"

Rhea removed her fingers. She rubbed soothing circles into my hip. Becky pulled her fingers through my hair while my eyes fell shut. She laughed.

"Oh Cupcake, we're not done."

She pulled a blindfold out of her backpack, along with a small bullet vibrator. She secured the blindfold around my head before climbing off my chest. Then I was picked up and put down on my stomach on the carpet. I moaned as the vibrator was pushed into my sensitive pussy, vibrating at its lowest setting. It was quickly covered by my underwear. Rhea was quick to set the rules.

"You're only job is to follow our instructions. If you're uncomfortable or in pain you will say so. If you decide not to follow our instructions, you will be punished. Do you understand?"

I nodded shakily.

"Use your words, love."

The use of the pet name made me blush. My voice was quiet and airy as I spoke.

"I understand."

Becky chuckled at my tone before planting a heeled boot on my back. She started undoing the ropes around my arms.

"Give me your hands and keep your arms straight."

I complied, sticking my arms out in her direction. She took my hands on crossed my arms behind my back. She pushed down on my arms, trying to see how flat they could be. Her boot still pinning me to the floor, I could barely raise my shoulders off the ground. I groaned as she pushed a little harder, trying to force my hands to the ground.

"Ow, ow, ok, that hurts."

"Alright," She let up, "that's fine. Relax."

I took a deep breath as she removed her boot, letting my arms go.

"Sit up.

I listened, moving to sit cross-legged on the carpet. I tried my best to ignore the warm buzzing in my hole.

"Straighten your legs into a split."

Finding it easy to follow her instructions, I straightened my legs. Then the vibrator was turned up to max. I groaned, my whole body feeling the need to curl up. I crumbled, having to use my elbow to support myself as my orgasm approached. I bit my lip in an attempt to stifle my moans.

My legs, still in a split, trembled as my second orgasm ripped through me.

"Hm- Becky- Rhea- please, so good!"

"You can relax."

I didn't even know who said it, but I listened. I curled up, my legs snapping back together. I lay there in a fetal position as the vibrator slowed down.

"Can you do a bridge for me?"

I slowly moved into position, holding myself up with shaky legs. A hand found my back. Lifting my back higher into the air, forced my arms and legs to adjust. I was shaky at best when the vibrator was powered back on at a low setting. My legs shook while the hand firmly pushed me up even higher. I gasped at the sudden pressure on my shoulders. Tears stinging my eyes.

"I- I can't- I'm sorry. I can't."

"That's fine. Relax for me."

Two big hands held my waist, lowering me gently back to the ground. Another caressed my face while the vibrator still buzzed away.

"You're doing so good for us."

My breathing was unsteady.

"Alright, last one. Roll onto your stomach and bend your knees."

I complied. A yelp escaped me as the vibrator shifted.

"Good, now I want you to grab your ankles and bend your back to bring your feet down next to your head."

"I don't- I don't understand."

"That's fine, just relax."

An arm under my thighs lifted me up while a pair of hands guided my feet over my shoulders, letting them land next to my head. A larger hand supported my back as it bent at an impossible angle.

"Hold your feet with your hands." I obeyed. "Good girl." That sent a chill up my spine while hands caressed my sides.

Suddenly the vibrator was turned up. I screamed as it buzzed against my sensitive, red clit. Pain turned into unbearable pleasure and my third orgasm hit me like a bus.

I screamed their names as my body ached from still holding the position. The vibrator was removed.

"You can relax."

I did. Letting go of my feet and immediately curling up into a fetal position, I felt vulnerable. I was lifted off the carpet and put on the bed. A soft hand rubbed soothing circles into my back.

"You did so good for us."

The blindfold was removed and I saw Rhea looking down at me. She pulled me into her lap and I collapsed in her arms. Burying my face in her neck, I melted into her warmth with Becky still rubbing my back. Rhea wrapped an arm around me while the other picked up the TV remote.

Their match played on the TV as I soaked in Rhea's warmth, listening to their discussion as they recall details from the match. Rhea pressed a kiss to my forehead as I drifted off.

"Good girl."

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Silly DC Rogues + Scooby Doo incorrect quotes/concepts:

The Rogues adopting different members of the gang. It starts with Jonathan Crane meting Velma on a psychology seminar, than Riddler finds Fred in a trap convencion, Joker (or Harley pick your poison) goes buy a new lipstick and ends up bonding with Daphne, Scooby and Shaggy either became budies with Penguin after going to eat at the Iceberg or with Condiment King.

-/-

Batman: Scarecrow is too quiet lately I bet he is plotting some terrifying squeme.

*meanwhile at Jonathan Crane's hideout"

Scarecrow: Oh please, child, you can't do that to me. That's cruel.

Velma: You know the rules. No kidnnaping pleople or throwing fear toxin on places for a month or we will not let you study Shaggy and Scooby fear responses!

Scarecrow: Fine.

Velma: Now, Doctor Crane, I want the toxin canister I know you are hinding right now.

Scarecrow: You are lucky to be my favorite student, young lady. *gives her the vial*

Velma: All of them

Scarecrow: Fine. *gives her another ten hidden vials of fear toxin he had in his coat*

-/-

Velma: Er... I know this might be akward but I feel we bonded since last time we met and I wanted to ask you something.

Scarecrow: I didn't kill him, he died of fear naturaly.

Velma: Jinkies!!!!! I just wanted date advice.

Scarecrow: Oh?

Velma: You see I like this girl, a lot, abd I want to try to ask her on a date or something ... but... the problem is ... she is a villan and you are a vilan so I'm thinking maybe...

Scarecrow: Hm. Another villain. Maybe you should ask Harley. Unless she is really obnoxious, green and keeps asking annoying questions I have no idea how to help.

Velma: I think I'm the obnoxious one, asking all the questions? I mean I get really nervous when we are together so I end up talking a lot but not making much sense.

Scarecrow: Well if you are the obnoxious one, wich for what I know of you is highly doubtfull but I suppose not impossible, you can always build her a nice weapon, talk about how you are the best person ever to the point she may end kissing you so you shut up and look cute when scared.

Velma: I don't get scared. Nor talk about being the best.

Scarecrow: There is the weapon.

Velma: Wouldn't build a weapon to a villain be a bad thing?

Scarecrow: Since when do I care, Miss Dinkley?

Velma: Fair. But I do.

Scarecrow: In this case build something that can help her recover for potential injuries, crime is a very dangerous job.

Velma: That's actually really helpfull! Thanks, Doctor Crane!

Scarecrow: Only trying to help my best student, Miss Dinkley!

Velma: About that did you finish your studies on Shaggy and Scooby?

Scarecrow: Oh yes! They are fascinating!

*Velma and Jon start geeking out over chemistry and brain readings*

-/-

At Gotham's Annual Trap Convention

Announcer: This year the trap making competition will be done in duos! A special change to spice the ten years aniversary of the Traps Club of Professional Trapers and a way for us to make new trap themes.

Fred: Oh nice. Who wants to team up with me?

*no one says nothing*

Fred: Please? Gotham has the best trap convention I always wanted to win it's annual competion. Help a kid with their dreams!!

*is ignored*

Fred: : (

Riddler: *also didn't got a team mate because he is annnoying as heck* Riddle me this, ascot weirdo, the less you have the more they are worthy?

Fred: Uh... Scooby Snacks? Scooby normally recquires two or more to do really dangerous things but when it's for the last one he is super kean.

Riddler: What? *looks around* *everyone else already has a team* Fuck. Fiiine. You are stupid! Most people are but still you are impressivly dumb.

Fred: Thanks, my dad says the same thing.

Riddler: ...

Riddler: Dads! *rolls his eyes* As I was saying do wanna team up?

Fred: Sure!

Riddler: I never lost one of those so I want to make very clear to you beforehand that I expect a high perfomance.

Fred: Of course. All my traps are prefectly made! I'm a profissional, not like those two people over there using mapple to build an estructure that should totaly be made of oak.

Riddler: You are... actually right. And what the fuck are those knots? Do they want to fail? Honestly I bet they are Joker's men.

*They of course win the competition and become buddies*

-/-

*in a different universe*

Riddler: *shaking* PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME BACK BATMAN! *terrifield* I wasn't even comiting any crimes. I'm totaly clean! A new honest man. Please please Batman.

Batman: I'm sorry but you did escape from Arkham.

Riddler: Okay, okay, sure... I can go to Blackgate! Or Belle Reave. Or any other Asylum. Or solitary. I escaped. Yeah. I'm really evil Batman take me to solitary please.

Batman: I don't understand. What's going on with you? *concerned* Are you being abused? You can trust me.

Riddler: No. Not more than normal. It's fine. The problem isn't the guards or the doctors, I just can't come back to him.

Batman: *they are alredy on Arkham* Him?

Guard: Oh thank god you brought Nygma back his cellmate was really distressed.

Riddler: whimpers

Batman: Cellmate?

Riddler: *on his knees* Please please anything but him.

*they got to the cell*

Guard: *ignoring Ed* Yeah, the new guy, he is a transfer for center state, a total loony.

*Bruce looks to the cell to see a guy with a colorfull full of glitter hand puppet. He moves the puppet*

Professor Huh? (via puppet): Hi Eddie, I missed you! I can't banana drive to the mom alone.

Riddler: *hides behind Batman* This doesn't make any sense! *hyperventilating* Go away!!

Batman: Calm down, Nygma, what's the problem with your cellmate?

Professor Huh? (via puppet): Batman? My son likes you! Let's fly with a papper pane to show him a picture!

Batman: Of course! Just a second.*turns back to Riddler having a panic attack* Okay, Edward we are going to go to a different cell and you are going to tell me what is the problem.

Riddler: o-o-okay y-you pro-promisse I won't see *trembles* him?

Batman: Yes.

Riddler: He... He is weird! *Batman raises an eyebrown* You are just like the others!! You don't understand. You need to take me seriusly!!! He is... He is different from us... He scares me, Batman! He only speaks with the creepy puppet and he makes no sense! He never spoke a logical sentence in his life! His answeres to my riddles are soo abstract and it makes me question everything and he... he took my eyebrows with a croissant and put them on my shoulders once *shivers* that... that's insane? I'm not crazzy! It happened but it makes no sense! He makes no sense. He defies logic Batman. He sees order and he breaks it. I.. I need order, Batman!!!!

-/-

*back to our normal programing*

Riddler: Aha! We did it! We catched Batman.

Fred: Wait? Batman? I understood we were supposed to catch Mothman! Why would we catch Batman? He is a good guy.

Riddler: *who just stoled a museum in front of Fred hours ago and it's dressed on his full riddler costume* I'm a supervilan?

Fred: Hahaha. That was funny. Now let's catch Mothman.

Riddler: ????

Fred: *gives a lost puppie smile* You know I always wanted to catch Mothman with my dad... *blushes* Er... I meant with you! Yeah I always wanted to catch a cryptic with my good friend Mr. Nygma who I don't see as a dad at all haha.

Riddler: .... fine... *opens the trap* Sorry, Batman. We were trying to catch Mothman this time.

Batman (Dick, Bruce had a small emergency involving Alfred's niece Daphne) *confused* What?

Riddler: Don't ask me.

Batman (Dick): *sarcastically* Yeah, yeah, you are the one who asks questions. C'mmon Nygma let's go back to Arkham.

Riddler: *fake sweet smile* Okay *presents his hads to be handcuffed* Buuut you will have to be the one to the him we are not going to catch Mothman. *evil smile*

Batman (Dick): Er... Hi kid?

Fred: Batman! Me and my friends are huge fans. We also solve mysteries.

Batman: Nice? Look your monster hunter partner is actually a dangerous criminal.

Fred: Velma? I know she sometimes uses her evil scientist voice but she is a sweetheart.

Batman: No, the other one.

Fred: Daphne? She only breaks the bones of the people who deserve it! She also sometimes commits identity fraud but I wouldn't call that dangerous criminal behavior just kirky.

Batman: Uh, not her either...

Fred: SHAGGY AND SCOOBY? Are you insane Batman!! They are lovely people. The most they can do it's steal your sanduiche but they are really nice about it.

Batman: I was more by the lines of Riddler.

Fred: Who is Riddler?

*at this point even Edward is in shock. He never told Fred he was Riddler but it should be a given*

Batman: Nygma?

Fred: Oh! Uncle Eddie is not a dangerous criminal he is too weak and silly.

Riddler: Hey!

Fred: Sorry? But I saw you be bitten by an ant and cry over it.

Riddler: *blushing* I... It hurted.

Batman: *snickers*

Riddler: *whispers* you are not convincing no one Nightwing

Batman: *also whispering* fuck you, Nygma

Fred: See totaly not a dangerous criminal. Besides he isn't dressed as a monster.

Batman: I suppose.

Fred: *puppy eyes* So can you let us go back to hunting Mothman.

Batman:... Sure. Stay safe citzens *whispering* you better not doing anything bad, Nygma

Riddler: *whispering meancingly* or what?

Batman: *whispering* you gonna break the kids heart *throws him back at Fred wich results on him failing to floor*

Riddler: ouch. That was unecessary! *Batman has already disapeared*

Fred: *helping riddler up* I didn't know Batman was such a funny guy! You are dangerous criminal haha.

Riddler: *trying not to sound offended* Let's stop talking about it and go catch Mothman, alright.

-/-

In a more serious universe P.I Nygma actually meets the gang as he is hired to investigate a missing person case related to the "monster" Mystery Inc is investigating. (If in my college au he does warns them about Professor Crane before leaving saying something about nigthmares on Arkham)

-/-

Daphne: Oh dear, no! Don't buy this shade of lipstick.

Joker: Do you know who I am?

Daphne: Yes, you are the famous serial killer and supervilan Joker and you are going to look awfull with this.

[alternativally]

Daphne: Oh dear, no! Don't buy this shade of lipstick.

Harley: Wow, you're that monster hunter kid! I saw a video of you guys on youtube! Nice.

Daphne: I saw a video of you on YouTube as well! I've been crazy to ask your make up brand because I need to be able to do moves like that without messing mine up. Also can I ask how did you learn that cool half-flip head kick? I've been practicing a lot but I think is not quite right yet.

-/-

Alfred is the creator of the Scooby Snacks. He also has to hide the kitchem because Scooby and Shaggy eat all the food. That being said he does like how apreciative they are.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Love me some angst!! So true though I can imagine it kinda being like the “want what you can’t have” thing where you’d have to be uninterested to catch his eye..also I’m so excited to read every installment makes me stan bestie a little more like where’s my irl girlie like this??

Oh yeah stagnant is the word I’m looking for…I’ve never prayed on the downfall of a duo so hard before they NEEDED that breakup no matter what all the fans say like please let them develop!! As you mention later in your reply I do think kaneshiro has something in mind for nagi I’m just hoping it happens soon!! What kinda also throws me off a bit is I think in a recent interview kaneshiro mentions that Nagi has no friends outside of reo even within bllk? And I’m like wait what about Isagi chigiri and Bachira at least they literally went bowling together and were gonna meet at a cafe together??? I don’t think you do that with people not considered friends but whatever ig :|

Based off what they’ve all spouted mid match they DEF have a mean streak LMAO gotta let out all that teenager rage somewhere…even polite mom friend yuki based of NEL scenes LOL but I love the duality of it all!

Loser on loser crime fr…reminds me of that one line from the mobile game where Nagi’s like “sheesh rin you have no friends” like boy ik ur not talking

The soccer freak always gets me because the way Rin’s presented makes him seem super popular BECAUSE of his soccer dedication flipping it around and making it his weakness just makes it hit harder

That makes sense! I’ll admit some scenes of him are done nicely but yeah also not exactly my type oops, when I was typing out my last response I was kinda thinking about how his backstory is uh…a little bland…like yeah a passionate boy about soccer but other than that he’s got a healthy family and basically no trauma (good for him!!) but yeah I mean other than his mindset on like evolution not much to explore imo

Get. Out. I was an MLP kid too LMAOOO you’re so right about rainbow dash I feel like maybe he’d try to cover himself up with like king sombra too (shadowy villain to match his ninja shadow steps thing or wtv) and I honestly don’t know how he pulls sm he seems like such a dork too like, ninja butt trap?? Saying bam (bakyuun) at like every other sentence….bro is a geek and it’s showing LMAO I bet he’d be into ninjago

OVER 15K we’re eating good guys…I’m also like constantly lurking the tags waiting for things to pop up which is where I first found you actually LOL I swear the karasu tag was dry as HELL for a good 6 months I kept finding stuff on a diff karasu from some other series and the Otoya and yuki tags are like even drier like please someone…you’re literally saving me rn I have never seen this much Karasu content like. Ever. I would contribute more if I knew how to write but for now I’ll just stick to ideas ig LMAO

That panel living rent free in my brain…more like I’m paying it to stay there omg I cannot wait…I’m also hoping that tabieitaken still get some spotlight in the manga too (I’m so glad Karasu isn’t obsolete in PxG) because how did they go from top 345, not score at all in the u20 match, and like we barely see them in nel (barcha done so dirty don’t even get me started…) like bring the boys back please I know they were the top in bllk for a reason!!

Also I really hope it also gets revealed somewhere the tracks of all the teams?? I wanna find out how they get yuki eventually LOL I tried making a chart myself but lost my mind 3/4 of the way in because I realized things didn’t match up and the many locked off npcs make it hard to accurately discern anything eugh…but trust once 1) that epinagi chapter comes out 2) the light novel for yuki comes out I will be back here flooding your inbox…(as if I don’t alr oops)

- Karasu anon

yes exactly i think you would have to make him feel smth different from how he normally does for him to remain interested long-term. w fwtkac bestie it’s the fact that they dislike another which could lead to a possible romance because he’s so used to girls liking him and him liking them in return that their feud would force him to get to know her in a diff way almost?? idk if that makes sense. and hehe i just posted the last part and bestie is VERY prominent in it so i hope you enjoy!! she truly is such a funny character i love writing her and reader together

YES the breakup was needed!! and everyone who talks abt nagi falling off…yeah he needed that too or else he’d never be able to have a proper character arc 😭 i think w regards to that he just said that nagi isn’t CLOSE to anyone but reo!! which does make sense to me. we see him interacting and being friendly w bachira isagi and chigiri (even karasu surprisingly) but he seems like the type who wouldn’t let anyone in right away. i do think he enjoys hanging out w them and probably considers them chill buddies but he wouldn’t invite isagi to his depression nest apartment the way he did reo. or maybe i’m just overthinking it and he actually just hates everyone 😫

yuki is honestly willing to throw hands at any moment he just seems chill compared to tabieita because those two are on another level 😭 HAHA actually though i’m p sure otoya is the least mean on-field…he kinda just dgaf meanwhile karasu and yuki actively degrade other players 😔 but otoya is so…interesting…off field that it makes up for it (negatively)

HAHAHA omg loser on loser crime fr…pls nagi is actually so mean tbh which makes sense because he is a gamer but also it’s so funny because we’re introduced to him as this apathetic chill guy and then the instant he meets barou he pulls out an entire ARSENAL of insults 😭 yeah i think outside of bllk that dedication to soccer is not making bro popular…like he has no time for friends or hobbies or anything because he’s busy practicing so it’s very much “the best but at what cost”

shidou def has some cool scenes!! and some uh. well. LMAOO but same with isagi like there’s some scenes where i can kinda see the appeal but for the most part he’s too chill and basic looking/acting for me. i also think it’s so funny that some of the characters have such crazy backstories (kaiser, yuki) and then isagi just grew up upper middle class 😓 zero issues in his life just vibes

OMGGG MLP FANS RISE UP my fav was rarity because she’s literally me but i also really liked princess cadence!! and that whole movie w her wedding actually was really good although i obv haven’t watched in ages. HAHAH no you’re so right though he is such a loserrr i honestly think if he ever got over himself and settled down he would be one of the best bfs in bllk just because he’s so secretly unserious. he’s definitely the type to have been super into like. pokémon (projecting because i love pokémon) or smth and he would give entire speeches about why his favorites are the best ones (NOT clickbait 3am gone wrong) and how he plans on beating the champion. he also is so chill i feel like if you tried to prank him or do smth like put makeup on him he’d just be like “ok 👍” and go along with it 😪 IF ONLY HE WASN’T A CHEATER 😕

omg no because i thought the karasu tag was empty and then i tried looking for otoya content (help he’s grown on me so bad) and it was EMPTY. forget abt yuki broooo nobody even knows him 😭 and YES it ended up at 16.1k as i’m sure you saw!! sooo long 😫 also wait that’s so funny…idt i had posted any karasu fics before your requests which post did you find me through??

if you ever do decide to try writing lmk i will def read it!! honestly it all comes down to practice + i’m sure you’re much better than you realize 💖

YES BRO WHY ARE YUKI AND OTOYA GHOSTING ATM??? i can even kind of understand otoya because he’s on a diff team and whatnot and at least his nel ranking is good but yuki is quite literally on bm why did he vanish after mancity 😓 also yesss omg bm vs barcha didn’t even feel like a nel game at all!! i saw a post where someone said they would’ve rather seen tabieita heading a nel team instead of reonagi and honestly i agree because that’s 3 and 4 in bllk right there plus they were introduced as having the best teamwork in all of bllk and that was just never brought up again after third selection?? ig it might’ve seemed redundant but in my dreams tabieita have reunited and are eating it up together 👆🏻

YAYY can’t wait!! i’m so excited for the ln chapters and the new epinagi chapter so i will be ready to yap once they’re out 🫡

[slautertm]

@madefate continued from HERE

❝ Yeah. It's like -- fucked. ❞ Lex lights the end of her cigarette, letting her fingers stray to the warmth of the fire just a little before backing off and taking a drag. It's such a stupid habit but god, Hatchetfield is a stupid place, isn't it ? And if she doesn't take the edge off somehow, then what's the point ? The only real surprise is Lauter -- Lex had known her tangentially, in passing, the way you know anyone even mildly reputable on this tiny island, and she never thought Lauter was a goody or anything like that, but it's nice to find someone willing to smoke quietly behind the school with and not ask too many questions. Hesitantly, like she's not sure why or how to do it, Lex holds out her pack and the lighter -- a silent offer because she can't ask. That's, like, way too personal. ❝ I heard you got into it with one of those jock guys, 'cause you were with ... what's his name ? The glasses kid. ❞ Honestly, even if she did go to school regularly enough to remember people's names, there's only two that she cares about and one of them is safe and sound in the middle school a few blocks down. Still, a careful, amused grin pulls at her lips. ❝ You're breaking like, school hierarchy. ❞

it's not often that steph finds herself smoking, especially not cigarette's but on days like today, she needs something to take the edge off and she's certain that this will get her into far less trouble than sneaking in some liquor. --not that she gives a shit normally, but fuck has her asshole father has been on her ass lately. it's a stupid thing to do but well... steph's not the smartest, so why not fuck around and try and get a real head for a moment, away from all of the high school bullshit, with someone steph doesn't see all too much around.

" that's both high school and hatchetfield. fucked. - thanks. " her words awkwardly paused as she takes both the lighter and the pack ( she should provide, she could provide, and hell knows that her father's big cigars might provide what she's looking for in doing this, but she's better than that. she i trying to tell herself that, at least ). she lights her cigarette, she hands the pack and lighter back and holds it to her mouth, and then she almost drops it the moment those words leave lex's mouth.

all too quickly she feels her cheeks lightly fills her cheeks, though steph tries to brush it off as swallowing the smoke or fucking up, though she knows it's not convincing in the slightest. she instead looks out, away, trying not to look lex in the eyes as she tries her best to collect herself.

" peter spankoffski. "oh pete spnakoffsik... the fucking geek who is haunting her every thought like no one else has before. steph inhales and holds the smoke in her mouth for a second before breathing it out, twirling the cigarette in between her fingers as she leans against the wall. " but like, i mean we're not together or anything. we- he doesn't- " steph sighs, shaking her head. " it's complicated." the jock of it all, though, " i could give less of a shit about the school hierarchy and if i can say that loud and clear to max's face. " a little laugh leaves steph's mouth. " i just can't wait to graduate and get the fuck out of here, you know? "

[handelplayssims]

We rise! We shine! We take a Citrus Soak to get a focused moodlet for Meredith as we go into a work-from-home day! It’ll be time to file court documents, aka stay at the computer for awhile, and research current case, going to the library. Let us get to work then, and start out with those court documents!

...both laundry hampers are looking real full. Should probably also do the laundry today as well. After heading off to the library to research the court case. Ohp! Markus is up and he is hungry. Let’s just set some grapes along the floor for him to eat. The things you do for gameplay conveniences. ...I also had him yell at Meredith to simulate that “Moom, I’m hungry!” thing. The thing I circumnavigated but ah well! Annnnd communication level 4 for Markus. Huh. Anyway, let’s gather up some books and toys and head on over to the library!

Annnnd Meredith is hungry and I didn’t even notice. Well there is a grill outside at least. We could have food there, after we research! We research, Markus actually plays with his blocks and gets some good thinking progress and have a burger dinner! To home we go again! Because normally, I do Meredith’s whim but I think we got a lot of laundry piled up. Gotta stay ontop of that laundry!

We did get a call from those new neighbors asking us to come over. If we must. But while she would, we got laundry! And also I wanted to have Meredith teach Markus about Please and Thank You. Because she would raise a well-mannered kid! Also since the temperature is super hot, I figured it’d be fine for Meredith to have an actual clothesline to dry things off with. I’m taking out all these lovely gardening furnishings and just adding in bits and bobs. Ah well!

Oh I should actually mention! This house is called Pour Ellie, and it’s created by cedergrave! It’s a real nice home so I figure it’d slot right in as Meredith’s single solitary life...which isn’t so solitary now! Though I did a thing and gave it to her without actually accounting for the money she would have. Not something I would normally do but hey, Meredith has sway in this small town community. And I like her and want good things for her! And now, for a few brief moments, Meredith has time for herself. And she wants to make a friend! So let’s invite over Simeon. She finds out he’s Gloomy. Well. Snob and Gloomy. What a combo. After some light-chit-chat, we head to bed, though she does find out that Simeon is a Geek after talking about chess with him! And so Simeon gets the pleasure of just wandering around the home doing whatever he pleases while everyone else is asleep. What fun! He finally goes home and all we’ll be left with is-

Neighborhood Watch!

Rachid Mounib in the Mounib household has died. Rachid heard a dad joke and laughed a little too hard.

Ernesto Rebuschatis in the Rebuschatis household has died. Ernesto fell for a cowplant’s cake bait. He could not have his cake and eat it too.

Again, light day so let’s continue on! Meredith arose early due to the need to go overpowering sleep. As it does. With this time, I’m able to make french toast for both herself and her son! And in the small time before work, we can put in another load of laundry. Now here is the question. Will Markus be able to reach the French Toast made for him before Meredith goes off to work? The answer is…nope! Not with wanting to go and sit over on a chair in the living room! Only a few bites before he got sent off to daycare. And now, once more, he needs a bath, a light munch and sleep. Alas, poor Markus. At least he gains skills at daycare. We take care of Markus’s needs and then Meredith’s. And by the time those are done, it’s already bedtime. Except we’re staying up because laundry never ends. Allows us time to raise her fun need at least. And then we can just set them up on the clothesline overnight. So then we sleep! And it’s time once more for!

Neighborhood Watch!

Forgotten Hollow: The Okada household recently moved out.

Newcrest: The Ferhat household recently moved out.

[minwilder]

i need no further prompting

this is absolutely a two or three part episode

starts off like a normal episode of bones except tempe announces she’s going on vacation to visit her nephew kit who is the son of her older sister harry that no one at the lab has ever heard of and they have a LOT of questions that she doesn’t see the point in answering

i’m almost certain they can find some way to work a modified version of harry and kit into the show. anyway obviously they’re like why have we never heard of harry or kit or tory hello??? but tempe talks to kit and tory all the time she just is so blase about everything she doesn’t think it’s weird that she kept this so quiet

tragically there would not be screentime for every morris islander but the kids are doing their thing on loggerhead while tempe catches up with kit

and whitney who tempe strangely gets along with because whitney is nice and tempe understands her

hi shelton and ben all call her tempe to her face AND she calls them by their first names which makes the lab crew nuts because they would never get away with that

so the kids find this body on loggerhead and it’s a whole federal shitshow so tempe calls in booth

he is way more interested in meeting her family when none of them have committed any felonies (so he thinks). he and kit hit it off like a house on fire until kit starts talking about some of the stuff tory gets up to and booth is like. hold on. what

they ID the body as mike iglehart. we all cheered

suddenly booth is convincing tempe to bring the kids back to dc and she agrees because she wants tory to help with the case. tory is all for it. hi and shelton are like YAY FREE TRIP TO DC. only ben is seeing the issue here but he gets overruled

he still has to bring booth out to loggerhead and booth is trying to gently press him for info but it’s ben so he just clams up and will only talk once they start comparing Tips For Dealing With Brennan Women

anyway the kids get named persons of interest in the case and shipped off to dc. the boys get a hotel room. tory stays with tempe and tries to learn as much as she can just existing in her proximity

booth goes to sweets and is like something is fucking Wrong with these children will you please psychoanalyze them and sweets thinks he’s nuts until he gets the four of them in a room together and literally watches their eyes change color (blue era) and susses out that they’re reading each other’s minds and is seriously questioning his own sanity

booth starts digging into their history and comes up with a LOT of question marks and a blacked out phoenix inquiry file. subtly inquires with saroyan whether she’s seen anything weird. then pawns them off on her so she can observe them

saroyan gives angela and hodgins a heads up to watch for anything weird and they’re like ???

of course tory is following tempe around as the designated squintern of the week and doing a fucking amazing job. hodgins keeps trying to provide relevant case info and it’s just The Brennan Show on the lab platform so he and hi design a huge fuck-off disruptive experiment and almost blow up the building

this makes booth MORE suspicious obviously

shelton is hiding out in angela’s workroom and the two of them are geeking out over computer stuff. she’s like where did you learn this and he blurts out something about decrypting a flash drive because he can’t keep his mouth shut but she’s too focused on trying to figure out whether he and the hawaiian shirt kid are in a secret relationship to notice

also she LOVES shelton she thinks he’s adorable and can do no wrong

ben is kicking around the lab the whole time looking bored until saroyan finally lets him help her with something. then she figures out he’s interested in geology and gets him to help hodgins

cooper noses around minding his own business. saroyan keeps removing him from the lab. someone different lets him back in every time and feeds him treats. saroyan quietly loses her mind and threatens to fire the next person who lets in that damn dog. they all continue to let him in

booth gets the kids into an interrogation room and starts off asking about the case, then finally starts needling them about Why Exactly they have blacked out homeland security files under their names. they all mind meld and talk in circles until he and sweets are convinced they’re all demons

booth brings chance in and he just plays dumb and does his “i was obsessed with tory” spiel. booth is not impressed with chance. sweets absolutely believes chance was (is) obsessed with tory but knows there was more to it

booth figures out chance used to work with iglehart to spy on tory et al and it all gets way more suspicious

finally they get a lead on the case and do a whole thing with the monkeys because the monkeys are always involved

for a minute it looks like kit is a suspect but the killer turns out to be disgruntled former liri employee trey terry. booth is still not happy with the loose threads but the kids all had alibis and nothing to do with it

saroyan does some seriously illegal secret dna testing and comes up with canine DNA. hodgins has his I KNEW WEREWOLVES EXISTED I KNEW IT moment. they decide to tell booth who tells them to destroy the evidence because he doesn’t want to do anything that would hurt tempe

tempe advises tory to keep doing what she’s doing and she has a good shot at an internship in the future

booth agonizes over whether to tell tempe that her teenage grandniece is, for all intents and purposes, part dog. finally he tells her and she’s like oh yeah i know

HOW??? but she figured it out somehow and has no trouble wrapping her head around the fact that an altered form of parvovirus changed their dna and gave them enhanced physical abilities and silent communication

she also doesn’t see the need to tell anyone because it’s none of her business

ben knows booth knows. which means tory knows tempe knows. but as long as booth is loyal to tempe they’re safe

booth and tempe go for a beer and debrief and have a moment. the kids sit at the next table and have milkshakes and fries and argue about the case and toast a good riddance to iglehart

chance shows up at the last second and tries to cause drama. ben punches him. booth pretends he did not see it

no one tells sweets he was right so he just goes insane forever

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw

[hops-hunny]

Just a Flight Away

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Ilvermony!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Request N/A

Summary: Neville has a cutie who lives in America but no one seems to believe him.

Warnings: None! 

A/N: This isn’t a request but it’s based off of me rambling here and slightly off of the vibe telepatia by Kali Uchis gives off.

If there was one thing Neville was thankful was it was the absolute goddess he got to call his girlfriend. It was funny the way they first began talking to one another. (Y/n) had been trying to contact a friend at Hogwarts but after the long trip from Ilvermony to Hogwarts, her owl was quite exhausted and ended up bringing the letter to Neville instead. Neville saw the poor bird, giving it a bit of bird seed and water that he kept in the green house before he set off to find the rightful owner of the letter. Luckily he had 3rd period with the girl who thanked him before excitedly yanking the letter from his hands. When Neville went to go check on the owl, he saw that it had already left, leaving a heart shape in the bird seed.

After that day, Neville hadn’t really thought about the incident that much. Well, that was until he saw the same owl fly towards him with a letter in its mouth. He smiled fondly at it rubbing under its chin with his finger before going to give the letter back to the owl until he noticed it had his name on it.  He ripped it open, careful to not damage the envelope before reading the letter.

Dear Neviile,

Thank you so so so much for getting the letter to Gwen! Gwen is a good friend of mine who I had been missing dearly and if not for your kindness she would have never received my letter. 

As you may be able to tell from the seal on the letter, I attend Ilvermorny school of witchcraft and wizardry. I've heard of how grand and great the infamous Hogwarts is, is it true? How is England in general? I've never had the pleasure of traveling out of America.

Oh yes! The main point of this is as a thank you, I've attached a package of my favorite American sweets as a token of my gratitude. The package is enchanted which is why it's so small. To restore it to its original state, place it on a flat surface before tapping it with the tip of your wand.

Sincerely,

(Y/n) (L/n)

Neville felt his face grow warm at the girl's kindness. (Y/n). 'What a beautiful name..' he thought to himself before pulling out the galleon sized package from the envelope. He pushed aside a few plants on the table in front of it before placing the package down, tapping the top with his wand. He gasped, watching in amazement as he saw the package expand. Neville wasn't quite familiar with this enchantment, perhaps he'd ask her about it in his response. His cheeks turned a brighter red. Response?

Did she want to speak to him more? He didn't want to assume but by her letter and her asking questions, it made it clear that this wasn't the last exchange she wanted to have. Was this a prank? Were the Weasley twins up to this? There was only one way to tell. Neville reached a shaky hand forward, opening the package as he closed his eyes expecting something to pop out at him but when he opened his eyes there was nothing but a box of snacks he had never seen before. He let out a sigh of relief, ignoring the racing in his heart.

After that, Neville and the girl started to talk quite a bit. Months had turned into years and he couldn't have been happier. It felt nice to have someone he could talk to, someone far away from all the hustle and bustle of the castle. To her he wasn't the kid with unfortunate luck or the "cowardly" boy in Gryffindor. He was just Neville, her boyfriend. Neville, her kind boyfriend in another continent, far away. 

(Y/n) loved Neville just as much. It wasn't that she never had suitors approach her. In fact, she had quite a few. (Y/n) was what you could consider popular, not that she cared. She was kind, smart, and beautiful. Who wouldn't want that? However, she always felt like none of the men who'd approach her got her. They all just saw her as a beautiful woman instead of what she was, a normal girl deserving of love. That's why she liked Neville so much. No matter what he always treated her with the utmost respect and that hadn't stopped when they started to date either. 

When the two had first exchanged photos, Neville was stunned. He had been talking to that beautiful of a girl? He couldn’t believe it. It was as if Olivander himself had sculpted and carved her out of the best of wood. She had glowing (s/c) skin, soft healthy looking (h/c) (h/c) hair, and a smile that could compete with the sun on its brightest of days and win. And when he found out she was single? He would’ve been a fool not to make a move. Angels as sweet as (Y/n) didn’t come around that often. 

And although their relationship was as great as can be there was the underlying sadness: they lived across the world from one another. Every time either of them would see a couple hug or kiss in school, they’d feel a twinge of jealousy pierce their hearts. It wasn’t fair that the most perfect person in the world was off enjoying themselves in their respective countries. Although (Y/n) tried to ignore it, Neville was the type to bring it up. He’d describe in the most beautiful of words what he’d do if they were together. How he’d hold her in his arms and show her off to all of his friends. Where he’d take her on a date, the plants he wanted to show her as they were both herbology geeks. Meanwhile she’d end each of the letters discussing this topic with the same phrase as usual. ‘You know I’m just a flight away. If you wanna I could take a private plane.’ He could never ask that of her though. As much as he’d love everyday to be filled with his flower, he wouldn’t wanna rip her away from the things she had going on in her own life.

It wasn’t all bad though! After the girl had taught him the charm she used when she first sent him something, they both would send each other gifts back and forth as much as possible. Neville sent her sweaters with his scent embedded, charmed flowers, chocolate frogs, anything she wanted was hers. She’d send her own things to remind him of her as well. Her favorite stuffed animal, loads of photographs, little crochet hats she made for Trevor, more...unsavory things as well definitely not her underwear. Despite the increase in objects Neville owned, none of his friends had questioned it until he started to wear a necklace with a heart shaped piece of onyx on it with the letter (Y/f/i) carved into it.

“Oi! Neville. Where’d you get that necklace from?” Ron questioned his friend who sat across from him in the Gryffindor common room. The boys had all decided to study together which of course turned into Neville studying as they goofed off. Neville tensed as his cheeks heated up turning a pink color.

“O-oh um..it’s from my girlfriend.” He said, saying the last word as soft as possible. He prayed to Merlin that his friends hadn’t heard him but unfortunately for him they had. It wasn’t that he didn’t want anyone to know about her. It was far from that. He was just a bit protective, he didn’t want anyone to try and steal her from him. Even though it was impossible since they had no contact with her, he never knew when it came to his friends. They always found a way to make the impossible possible.

“What year is she in?!”

“Who is it?!”

“No way, is she fit?!”

He finished at the chorus of voices, trying to calm them down so he could speak. They all scooted closer to him, looking up at him expectantly. “Well you see..” he trailed off, looking away as he played with the pendant around his neck. “She doesn’t go here. She attends school in Ilvermorny. But to answer your question, yeah she is bloody fit.” he responded, turning his attention back to the scroll of paper in front of him. Dean, Ron, and Seamus exchanged a look with each other trying to suppress their laughs.

“Yeah I’m sure she does Nev.” Dean said sarcastically as he joined the other two in laughter. Neville looked up at his friends confused at their behavior.

“Yeah Nev, if your nan sent it you could’ve just told us! Better than saying you’ve got a girl halfway across the world.” Ron said, pushing the boy slightly as he continued to laugh at him. Seamus was doubled over, snorting with laughter as fire whiskey shot from his nose causing the other two to howl with laughter.

“It’s not from my nan! My girlfriend really did send it to me.” he exclaimed, smacking Ron on the back of the head, before doing the same to the other two men. “Besides, you have some fucking nerve accusing me of lying when none of you have birds yourself.” he sneered, causing the boys to quiet down some.

“So harsh Neville, you didn’t have to go there mate! Well what’s this ‘girlfriend’ of yours called.” Seamus asked, doing air quotes as he mentioned the topic at hand. “You’d think it was a bit strange too if your friend suddenly mentioned a girlfriend who lived all the way in the states too wouldn’t you.”

“(Y/n). And I’ll have you know this isn’t a new thing. We’ve been dating since around 2nd year. Sure, I’d find it a bit strange if you mentioned a girlfriend in America that you had never brought up prior, but I wouldn’t find it impossible! Now if you excuse me, I have to go.” he quickly stood up, packing up his materials as he stormed off to the direction of his dorm. He sped up, ignoring the protest and begging of his friends to come back and continue to hang out with them. He had enough of them and he wasn’t gonna sit there and let himself be called a fucking liar by Hogwart’s biggest ones.

--------------------------------------------

“Did you guys hear? Students from Ilvermony are supposed to be coming to visit!” Ron said, running up to the other four boys. “I’m just picturing how hot all the girls from the states are gonna be. All hot and leggy with those bloody accents. I could combust just thinking of it!” he exclaimed, flopping down on the couch. Neville gasped softly, looking up. Did he hear him correctly? 

“Where’d you hear that from? I didn’t hear anything of the sorts.” Hermione questioned, looking up from her book at the interesting news she had just heard. However, Neville was still frozen. Was this true? And if so, why hadn’t (Y/n) mentioned it. No, no it couldn’t be. She surely would have told him.

“I just overheard it from Dumbledore himself. They should be arriving in a few minutes! They’re staying here for a few months. It’s a part of this new thing that they’ve set up. Something about wanting the students to learn different methods and what not. They decided it’d be a good idea since summer is coming soon.” he said nonchalantly, looking over at Neville who hadn’t moved since the news left his mouth. He went to question what was up with him before his eyes lit up, recalling the conversation they had a few months ago. “Hey Neville? Didn’t your supposed ‘girlfriend’ go to Ilvermony.” the boys all suddenly interested began to ‘ooo’ exchanging looks with each other.

“See Neville, this is why you don’t lie. Lies will always come back to bite you in the rear. Perhaps Ronald i-”

“I wasn’t lying, Hermione! She really does go to Ilvermony.” he exclaimed, standing up as he wiped his hands on his pants. All of a sudden, there were the sounds of a bunch of American accents speaking which caught all of their attention. Many different students in Ilvermorny uniforms (some without them) roamed freely to explore the large and intense castle.

“God you weren’t kidding Ron, the girls are bloody fit.” Dean muttered, eyeing some girl who gave him a wink before giggling and running off with her friends. “Woah look at that one, are you kidding me? She’s a fucking goddess!” Neville’s curious hazel eyes followed his friend's words as he saw a familiar shade of (h/c) hair styled in the way his girlfriend wore it. Wait, was that his sweater? 

“That’s not just some fucking girl, that’s my girlfriend!” Neville exclaimed, standing up from his seat.

“No chance.”

“You couldn’t pick a more believable one?”

“Prove it then.”

Neville went to say something before the girl turned around, locking eyes with him. She gasped, tearing up some as she pushed through the crowd of people running to him as quickly as possible. “Nev! Neville babe, is that you?” she exclaimed. Neville’s face flushed brightly taking in the girl’s appearance. She had worn the first sweater he had given her, a mossy green sweater with an obscure pattern, with a pleated skirt pairing it with a pair of boots. Neville nodded his head quickly, holding his arms out as the girl ran into him almost knocking him over. He picked her up, spinning her around quickly before setting her down, holding her soft face between his hands.

“W-what are you doing here?! You never told me you were coming to visit!” he exclaimed, wiping at the stray tears that had left her eyes. He moved his hands from her face securing them around her waist as he stared down at her. God she was even more beautiful in person.

“I wanted to surprise you! I actually found out a few weeks ago and let me tell ya, it was SO hard not to tell you!” She giggled, reaching up to stroke his cheek. He leaned into her touch, smiling at her. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to get even more handsome but bloody hell. You’re so fucking hot, Nev.” she said, feeling her face heat up. Neville flushed a bright red before leaning down, kissing the girl on the lips. She pulled him down more, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed back. The kiss was full of the love and affection they had both been craving from one another. (Y/n) tangled her hands in the back of his hair as he deepened the kiss, moaning softly. They both jumped away from one another at the sound of someone clearing their throat. “Ah sorry! Nev, are you going to introduce me to your friends?” she asked looking up at him as she intertwined his large hand with her smaller one.

“I suppose I will, even though for some reason they thought you weren’t real.” he quipped, glaring at the four boys who looked away ashamed. “From left to right there is Harry, Ron, Dean, and Seamus. And over there,” he said pointing to the big arm chair in the corner. “That is Hermione.” he said as they all muttered ‘hi’ and ‘sorry’ from some of them. (Y/n) giggled some, waving at them all.

“It’s very nice to meet you all! Nev talks about you guys all the time in his letters. Oh!” She said, eyes looking at his chest. She reached a hand forward, grabbing the engraved onyx in her hands. “The necklace I gave you!! You like it? I think it looks really good on you.” she exclaimed with a smile, happy her boyfriend enjoyed the gift she gave him. Neville once again looked at his friends chuckling some at their wide eyes.

“Of course I do, petal. I wear it everyday, everywhere I go. Right guys.” he teased, watching as they all stuttered out ‘yes ‘yep’ ‘sure does. “Come on flower, I’ll show you around the castle. I know you’ve been looking forward to that for a while. Also, you look quite cute in my sweater.”

“Thank you. I wear it quite often, even though the smell of you has worn off it still brings me good memories.” she said, playing with the slightly worn out sleeves of the sweater. “I’d love to!! Can we check out the greenhouse first? I wanna see that plant you were talking about. Maybe we can work on identifying what species it is!” he nodded in response, taking her hand once again as they began to walk off. Before they turned the corner, he quickly turned his head around using his unoccupied hand to flip off his friends before turning his attention back to his lover.

“Who would’ve thought? Longbottom with an absolute fox.” Ron said, slumping back down as he frowned. Hermione took the book she was reading smacking him upside the head.

“Maybe if you knew how to treat women you’d be with one too.”

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.