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lord take all my chronic pain and give it to jude law
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS (2021-2024)
#pain........#arcane#arcaneedit#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane parallels#vi#jinx#powder#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#piltover's finest#vi arcane#jinx arcane#powder arcane#caitlyn arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane netflix#league of legends arcane#league of legends#type: gif#media: arcane#s1 ep3#s2 ep3#i know we talking about the parallels of the scene but can also talk about the colors?????#LIKE s1 color was red/orange and then in s2its like predominantly blue and i refuse to think this was done in coincidence....#the visual storytelling is just immaculate the colors contrast each other so well
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Muscle Memory (DpxDc)
Jason barely remembered getting back to his safe house or even finding his way to bed. The night had been so tiring, so busy, and so many parts of his body hurt.
The moment his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. Drifting off into dreamland for some much need sleep.
That was until a noise stirred him up from his sleep. It was a soft creak of one of his many loose floorboards.
It was in a flash that Jason was up, eyes still heavy with sleep, and a gun held to his thigh as he exited his bedroom. The soft light coming from his bathroom was the first hint.
When he pushed open the bathroom door, the sight before him had him holstering his weapon. Black hair, blue eyes, and blood. That's all Jason needed to see.
Jason would swear he wasn't still half asleep, that he knew this wasn't one of his brothers. In reality, still sluggish from a hard night and sleep deprivation, Jasin's brain had automatically assumed it was one of his baby brothers.
As he immediately settled into patching up the wounds, holding back questions for now. It wouldn't be the first time one of them came to him for aid when they didn't want Bruce to know they were hurt yet.
It was pure muscle memory as Jason worked. Yes, he didn't like the injuries, reminding himself to ask which rogue did this in the morning.
Now wasn't the time for an interrogation. Not with the barely concealed tears in those eyes, or the dark bags that decorated beneath them.
He barely grumbled for the teen to take the couch, reminding that there were extra blankets in the hallway closet. Dropping a few pills into the boy's hand to help with the pain he was surely in.
Jason left the mess in the bathroom, leaving it a problem for more awake him. He waved the boy off when he tried to speak, telling him they'll talk in the morning.
In the end, Jason was glad to finally face plant back into his bed. Barely bothering to curl up under the covers before sleep took over once again.
When morning came, Jason almost forgot about letting one of his brother's crash in his place. Stumbling out of his bedroom to immediately notice the lump on his couch.
He put a pot of coffee on, grabbing his phone, ready to let Bruce know that whoever came to him last night was safe and sound.
Except, when Jason moved over to confirm who it was, he finally noticed. This wasn't one of his brothers. And last he heard, Bruce hadn't taken in any new strays.
Jason stood over the sleeping boy, phone in one hand, and mind figuring out what to do. His mind replaying the half-asleep memories from last night.
It made sense, now that he thought about it. The boy had seemed so scared, so surprised that Jason was helping. The boy hadn't done anything either by the looks of it.
He didn't seem to have taken anything or even snooped. The boy seemed to have just crashed on the couch like Jason had told him to. He didn't come here to rob him or cause trouble. The kid had broken into his safe house only to raid his first aid kit.
The kid had broken into his safe house only to raid his first aid kit.
Well, Jason wasn't about to put Alfred's teachings to shame by being a horrible host either.
#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#dpxdc#I love seeing good big brother Jason#and ofc I wanted Danny involved somehow#that's litterally just how this was born#with the idea of Danny breaking into an apartment he thought was empty#only for a man with a gun to show up but instead of being hostile the dude just methodically and silently patches Danny#Danny isn't sure if he's lucky or not#but he wasn't going to say no to a place to sleep for the night and free aid#Danny was planning to ditch before the morning cause he had no clue what was going to happen#he really didn't want to know why this tank of a man just let a stranger crash at his place after patching him up#but Danny was too stressed and in pain that he went out like a light#idk where I'm going with this#I'm tired and stressed myself lmao#I did not bother rereading this#just typed it and sent it
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as much as i appreciate the intent of the “being disabled doesn’t make you a burden” type posts, i don’t really agree. a lot of times being disabled DOES make you a burden
& i think that maybe we should try to shift focus to the fact that even if you’re a huge burden on society and can contribute absolutely nothing, you’re still a human being who deserves to exist.
like. there’s nothing morally wrong with being a burden on other people. you aren’t a bad person for needing to rely on others. you’re allowed to be a burden & disabled people who are burdens on others, i love you
#sorry ive seen a lot of the ‘youre not the burden it’s your illness that’s the burden on you’ type posts#and i appreciate what you’re trying to say but like fr ur allowed to be a burden#thats part of being a person. it’s ok#disability#disabled#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#0
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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smth abt ziyal is when I'm rewatching those cringy moments with her and garak, they canonically aren't flirting the cardassian way. They are so cordial and polite to each other that it's so plain that at the very least garak has no romantic intentions towards her. He treats her like how he treats o'brien. He has more chemistry with odo
I used to be of the opinion on my first watch that the ziyal garak thing never should have happened (and it definitely could have been handled differently - sometimes it felt like different writers had different intentions with their dynamic and it got weird)
And to preface there was DEFINITELY homophobia involved in the doylist explanation for why garak got ( to what the average viewer saw as) a young female love interest
But one thing people don't tend to realise is that its stated QUITE plainly that garak doesn't return her feelings. He definitely didn't push her away hard enough, but he's a bit of a scumbag who prioritised having any sort of positive relationship with a cardassian over telling her to fuck off. (I also imagine he wanted to spare her feelings)
I think Garak could realise (bad dad squad) that Ziyals views on men (especially older cardassian men) was a very fragile topic to be handled and she was pretty much constantly rejected by her kind - which definitely lended itself to letting her kiss him, but he did outright tell her he didn't like her that way, so I'm not mad.
Ziyal is jumbled all the way up. Thank you Dukat. And Garak clearly thinks it's really funny to not fully dispel the rumour so he can deal immense psychic damage to her father.
They really aren't flirting the cardassian way - like ever - but I don't think that's to say Ziyal doesn't understand cardassian flirting. She is absolutely like her father in the sense that she manipulates kira into hanging out with her dad just because she wants them to get along - despite knowing Kiras genuine aggression doesn't match up with Dukats flirtatious kind. Ziyal is a good person but she is also related to Dukat and by God will she manipulate
One thing I will patently disagree with is the comparison to how garak treats O'brien (in regards to the general sexlessness).
That is wrong. Have you seen empok nor. Garak absolutely has a weird one sided homoerotic jealously thing with O'brien. It's O'brien who wants him shot out an airlock. That's on garak.
#im loopy on pain mrdication so i am typing a lot and im sorry its not cohesive#i hope this makes ANY SENSE#i like garak and ziyal as characters a lot and i think#their actions are justifiable in the sense thay they are '>#in character#do you understand me boy#elim garak#tora ziyal#gul dukat#miles o'brien
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.
“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.
“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.
you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.
you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.
he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.
“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.
“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.
#omg I wrote this idea down last night and couldn’t even type it up#bc I took some sleep meds and it put me out SO FUCKING QUICK????#usually I don’t lay down until like an hour and a half or two#but it was literally like 40 mins and I was DONE!!!!#but I finally wrote it :D#there’s also been so much talk of him on the dash and i am. very much so liking this#I miss him bc I don’t think about him enough#but I also think he can be. so mean. like NASTY mean when his limits are pushed enough#ohhhh my god I wont him so bad#okay gn I took more meds bc my pelvis has been in so much pain????#just the right side too??? omg AM I DYING GELP#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#deku treats! 🍬
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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what I find very interesting about the narrator's choice of reward - ie. an eternity of supposed bliss inside the cabin - is that while it seems on its surface just another instance of him projecting his desires onto you, it actually isn't. he himself probably thinks that he would desire an unchanging eternity like the one in the cabin, but...
when he is talking about his reasons for wanting to remove death from the world, his focus is almost entirely on connections to others. he talks about the greater good, having loved ones, wanting better for them. it's those connections that drive him to submit to death in the hope of defeating it. he is definitely selfish, but if he was totally selfish, he wouldn't have been able to do that. he believes his own death is a worthy sacrifice for the continued existence of his world. his vision of an ideal eternity, as he describes to you, is one where connections are endlessly and joyfully rediscovered.
in his ideal ending, you've killed off the only being you could ever meaningfully connect to. and this is one of the main reasons his plan dooms itself. who could bear the weight of an eternity alone? not him, certainly.
#narrates#slay the princess#found this one in drafts...#btw this is why i think of the time loop ending as actually the closest to the narrators vision! despite him clearly not liking it#an eternity of forgetting and rediscovering connections. a cycle of perpetual motion that always ends at the same place anyway#of course. its horribly painful. because that type of existence would have to be. but hes never been able to grasp that.#the pain is also what makes it meaningful! if he could grasp that though he would not be the narrator
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I see a lot of people in the Mouthwashing tag frequently listing 'keeping Curly alive' in the list of crimes Jimmy has done, implying or sometimes outright saying that not mercy-killing Curly was a cruel and unusual act...and would like to caution against that.
There's a long history of abled people deciding someone's quality of life is too horrible to merit letting them live (usually to nonverbal or otherwise 'low functioning' people lacking a clear means to communicate) and condoning the murder of disabled people under the guise of kindness. Curly is an extreme example, and one could argue he might prefer to be 'put out of his misery,' but it's important to note that we don't know, no one asks, and there's no attempt to communicate either which way.
How extreme pain and 'low quality of life' are handled are very nuanced and complicated topics, but you can never decide for someone else what kind of life isn't 'worth living.' Curly is obviously a videogame character, but these attitudes can and do affect the lives of real people & are worth being aware of.
#I say this as a disabled person who has heard ''I could never live if [condition] happened to me'' and claims my life was over#and all sorts of shit that made me think everyone would jump at the chance to put me down like a sick dog#just hits close to home so wanted to type a gentle word of caution#there's also a lot to be said about the history of disability rights and how DNRs have been used to purge us in hospitals#but i won't get into all of that for a fandom post#idk if i wrote this out well bc I'm trying not to get too In My Feelings about it but. yea#sometimes people deal with exceuciating pain & disability but would still very much like to live thank you#Mouthwashing
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x03 - “Finally Got The Name Right”
#arcane#caitvi#arcaneedit#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#vi#vi arcane#arcane vi#caitlyn kiramman#heenot#caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#type: gif#media: arcane#league of legends#s2 ep3#i needed to get this scene outta my system..... oh hardened cait.... changed and driven by her grief and anger over jinx#then we see vi who stubbornly clings onto the sweet cupcait she once knew... just like she was holding onto powder#but the heartbreaking part is that she's changed and vi STILL tries to give everything to caitlyn because shes so self sacrificing#and hoping that the caitlyn she once knew is still there but im so so sorry vi but cupcait is gone look at cait wanting to pull the trigger#just look at the pain behind vi's eyes she cant believe cait would be like this god im in pain#shes trying so hard to reel the cait she knew back in GAHHHHHH#also i hated coloring this scene but whats new with dark scenes from arcane lol
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What if Jon was left handed until his hand ended up burned by Jude Perry and he was forced to end up using his right hand because his left never quite worked as well after as it used to? Like his ability to use his hand is just another part the fears have taken from him
#jonathan sims#tma#the magnus archives#jude perry#tma headcanons#tma textpost#tulip talks#jon slowly realizing over time that oh this isnt going to heal back to how it used to be#that its never going away completely and will always be a permanent reminder of the pain he suffered for someone else's enjoyment#maybe he used to enjoy things like typing or cooking or just things that generally need two hands#but now his enjoyment is tainted by the pure frustration of his hand not doing what he knows it used to be able to do#Idk just jon becoming disabled and dealing with the frustrations and challenges that come with it#idk if any of this makes sense its 4am and I havent slept yet
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀
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#I literally got heart attack when I see this scene#like literally Charles#wait I know it's cat king#but I ignore that and for a moment I think it's Charles#like sorry but I really want that type of scene like Charles was coming towards Edwin with that look in his eyes and his drop dead smile#like a scene where it's literally Charles and not cat king#❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹#dead boy detectives#chedwin#painland#charles rowland#edwin paine#edwin payne#paynland#crystal palace#deadboydetectivesedit#niko#george rexstrew#jayden revri#yuyu kitamura#kassius nelson
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happy pride to my fellow themsbians :) including tekno!
I don't remember it too well but around when I was 13 or 14 and thought I was cishet I had a couple internet friends who started online gay dating and i was like "wtf you can do that???" and about a week later i got my first girlfriend :)
#stc#sth#sonic the comic#tekno the canary#fleetway amy#sonic the hedgehog#fanart#id in alt text#im just so in love with tekno being amys first out weird gay friend#having gay friends has done everything for me#sorry i switched to illegilbly handwriting things. no im not. i like doing it#typing it out is such a pain#just use the alt text if you can't read it#comic
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