#like typically the depression is Peak Sadness

[ahauntedcowboy]

as someone who is usually very enthusiastic about things experiencing the flavor of depression where its all apathy and numbness...oof...gotta say i am NOT a fan

[civetfish]

Was gonna wait to post this outside of ko-fi until I posted the corresponding part of my fic BUT since that's on hold for a hot second I might as well do it now!

So much yapping under the cut because I can't help myself lol (Mostly just a stream of consciousness, so its kind of a word salad)

I like to think that colors can change in brightness, mix with others, and appear in certain areas/patterns to give a bit of complexity to the use of colors for communication.

Top left is pretty straightforward- yellow is fear. It's the full body "puffed up cat" kind of fear where it's the ony emotion being processed. A lingering anxiousness would be shown more like a general yellow centered around the chest, while the rest of their body remains the same color. Feelings like a slight nervousness (Like handling a delicate object with big crab-claws, for example) would be shown through a "rippling" wave of yellow overtop of whatever colors are already present, originating from the chest or hands. ((link) this is pretty close to what I imagine (If the link doesn't work, skip to about 2:10) Spooky ocean warning! though if you're seeing this post in the first place I assume you're probably fine with it )

Green is analytical - He does this a few times in-game, and it's what makes the most sense to me. I also like to think it's the reasoning behind a lot of the Architect's... well, architecture. Green is a really predominant color in all of the architect structures / data hubs / machines / etc., so in cultural sense it would make sense for the Architects to be using the color representing their core values. The light blue around his sides is amusement/joy. (I put a little bit of this into my first chapter iirc) This is also based pretty closely to what we see in-game. (I.e. the little wave he does back at Robin, it's silly and playful and I love it sm)

The gray/dull tones (bottom left) are just that- the "muting/dulling" of whatever color it's applied to. The Architect who kind of killed his entire species is a little depressed if you can believe it! A muted blue (indigo, rather than light blue) would be melancholy, and the yellow tint in there is stress/dread. A completely dim gray Architect is basically completely numb, which is distinct from the typical "resting color" that Architects have when not feeling any emotion in particular at a given moment.

Dark blue (Or indigo, bottom right) is sadness. It could also be read as a sense of longing or wistfulnes, or a lot of other nuanced feelings depending on other colors or context clues.

And of course magenta (bottom middle) and that coral-ish color are love, more or less. It's a sense of fondness and deep affection, though Al-an himself is probably under the impression it's more like a loyalty and protectiveness; I don't think he has any real experience with love considering what we know about the network.

The coral color in the center of his chest is something I'll dive into more when I get that chapter out, but I think of it as a flush/heat, like an Architect blush. Orange is added to colors to increase the intensity of the emotion underneath, such as the inclusion with magenta to mean flustered or to red to mean a more heated rage. An embarassed architect would be fully orange, possibly leaning a bit towards pink, red or yellow depending on the specific situation.

For an "emotionless peak of innovation and efficiency" I am determined to shove SO many feelings into this shrimp horse. This stream of word spaghetti will eventually get rewritten into a basic color code.

[manicplank]

two questions; pizza tower characters' opinions on spring and autumn/fall?

Ooo now we'll have all four seasons covered!

Spring and Fall!

Peppino:

(Spring): Loves the spring! The warm weather makes him finally come out of his seasonal depression. However, spring showers put a bit of a damper on his delivery service.

(Fall): Thinks the autumn is beautiful, but begins to feel a bit glum as he knows his seasonal depression is once again coming back.

Gustavo:

(Spring): Loves the spring! He loves watching the trees and flowers come back to life after the harsh cold. The rain makes him a bit sad at times, but he appreciates it.

(Fall): LOVES the fall! Likes going to pumpkin patches, sunflower fields, loves hiking and seeing the colors of the leaves. Thinks the transition from summer to winter is beautiful.

Mr. Stick:

(Spring): Likes the spring but hates the inconsistency in weather. Rainy and cold, then warm and humid for a few days. Back to rainy and cold. Not a fan. But the flowers are nice.

(Fall): Loves the fall. Similar to Gustavo, he loves all the usual fall activities. He specifically likes apple picking at the orchards, it makes him feel like a kid again.

Pepperman:

(Spring): LOVES the spring. The weather is finally getting warmer, and the most beautiful scenery of blooming foliage is his muse. He will even go out and sit in the rain for a while.

(Fall): Doesn't really like the autumn. It means winter is coming, and he's not haply about it. He thinks fall colors are bland and predictable.

The Vigilante:

(Spring): Doesn't like spring all that much. All the rain makes the farm muddy and soggy. All the livestock get dirtier than usual, and all the hay gets wet. It makes his life a bit inconvenient.

(Fall): Likes the fall. Opens up the farm for guests to go apple picking, pumpkin picking, and even opens the petting zoo. It's his most profitable time of year. Seeing the farm so busy makes him happy.

The Noise:

(Spring): Likes the spring. He likes seeing the flowers bloom. His seasonal depression gets washed away. He loves playing in the puddles that the rain brings, but almost always gets sick from it. This does not dissuade him from doing it again.

(Fall): Is ok with the fall. He loves the colors of the leaves, but that only means that the cold winter is coming. His seasonal depression comes creeping back.

Noisette:

(Spring): LOVES the spring and everything about it! She loves Easter. She and The Noise hide eggs for each other to find. She gets to start her flower garden again, too! She likes to play in the rain, but oddly enough, never gets sick from it.

(Fall): LOVES the fall! She loves going to Vigi's farm and doing all the activities! She drags Noise with her to go apple picking, sunflower picking, and petting the animals! She always gets lost in the corn maze and needs to be rescued.

Fake Peppino:

(Spring): LOVES the spring! It's when frogs are at their peak! He loves singing with the spring peepers. You'll hear him croak a lot. He likes to bask in the sun and the rain. He also rolls around in the mud a lot.

(Fall): Doesn't like fall too much. However, he does enjoy the dampness of it. He likes hiding in leaf piles and taking naps. The fall means the cold is coming, so he tries to enjoy what's left of the warmth.

Pizzahead:

(Spring): Absolutely loves the spring! All the pretty colors and even the rainstorms, too. However, he has a suspicion that Noisette is still gardening despite him telling her she's banned from it after growing a mutant plant that almost broke the tower.

(Fall): Loves the fall! Goes to Vigi's farm and does literally everything! He has to be watched carefully, though, as he's tried to steal a calf.

Pillar John:

(Spring): He doesn't typically enjoy the spring, specifically because of the rain. Sooo much rain. The humidity makes him feel sticky and gross, and the added warmth only contributes to it.

(Fall): Enjoys the fall. Likes seeing all the little animals at the fun farm. He's usually the one who has to rescue Noisette from the corn maze since he's tall enough to see over it all.

Gerome:

(Spring): Doesn't really like the spring. He ends up cleaning SO much mud off the floors of the tower. It makes his job a lot harder than it needs to be. He does enjoy the warmth, though.

(Fall): Likes the autumn, it's okay. Mot too fond of the farm, but he enjoys seeing the leaves change colors. It's less muddy than the spring, so he's not constantly mopping his life away.

[blackcherryvelvet0909]

Loving Waves (Cater x GN!Reader)

Content Warning: Mild angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of depression

You sat before a small, cozy fire, your towel wrapped around your shoulders. The sun had just set behind the sea, a blanket of stars cast above in its departure. While you and your friends would usually be back at the hotel by now, drying off and getting ready to eat dinner, you decided to chow down on some snacks by beachside fire instead. The chilly sea breeze was barely noticeable beside the crackling flames. The snacks were plentiful as well, ranging from fruits to hotdogs. That was to be said for every other campfire that now dotted the beach. You were all set for at least another hour or two. 

You then suddenly notice the empty space next to you. Your forehead creased, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked around. Where was Cater? He surely would have announced if he was going to the bathroom or fetching a drink. It wasn’t like him to just wander off without a word, especially amidst all the fun banter and lively conversation. Why, just minutes before his disappearance, you and the rest of your group had taken a picture for his Magicam account. Where could he have gone?

It seemed you weren’t the only one who took notice of his absence. When your gaze landed on Trey, who sat across from you, his eyes were fixated on the empty seat. He glanced over at you, expression unreadable for a moment before a sad smile stretched across his face. He then nodded his head to the side, gesturing over to the tall, rocky cliff that towered over the beach several feet away. You looked up to its peak, squinting as you tried to make out any figures. When there were none to be found, that could only mean one thing: Cater had retreated to the little space beside the cliff’s edge. It wasn’t too big of a place, but large enough to be a small beach of its own. 

With a nod of thanks to Trey, you stood up from your position next to the fire. Ace and Deuce glanced up at you, attention torn from whatever they’d been discussing. “Where are you going?” Ace asked, Deuce’s face conveying the same question. 

“I’m just gonna stretch my legs for a bit,” you answered. “They’re getting a bit stiff.” 

They seemed to buy your excuse. “Well, hurry back,” Ace grinned deviously, “or I’m going to steal your share of snacks.” 

“No he’s not.” Deuce gave Ace a ‘don’t you dare’ look before he smiled up at you. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” 

You chuckled. “At least one of you is looking after my well-being.” You began to walk off, but not before you glanced back over your shoulder. “I’ll be back in a bit.” 

With a nod from your friends, who returned to their own merriment, you made your way to the cliff. It wasn’t a long trek, but the sand slowed you down. You expected Cater to emerge from behind the rock wall at any moment, all smiles as he asked what you were doing. When you finally made it to the small beach and still found no sign of Cater, you wondered if Trey was mistaken. Just before you went to look somewhere else, you spotted a faint light from behind a small rock. It was just big enough to hide a person…and a person is what you found. 

Cater didn’t notice you at first. His green eyes were glued to his phone screen, scrolling through something you couldn’t see. If you had to guess though, it was likely Magicam. That was typical for Cater - what wasn’t was the look on his face. His lips were turned downward, his frown paired with tired, almost sad eyes. You could see bags under his lower eyelids; how had you not noticed them before? Come to think of it, Cater had been wearing makeup that morning. It must have washed off while you were all playing in the water. 

His knees were tucked under his chin, posture slouched as he continued scrolling. His solemn look could honestly put Idia to shame. Your heart clenched painfully at the mere sight of him. You were the rare few who knew of Cater’s depression, of his insecurities and fears. You wondered how long he’d felt like this…how you hadn’t noticed it sooner. Cater was good at hiding things, but you were equally as good when it came to pinpointing his true feelings. You felt guilty for being blind to his true mindset, for however long he’d been in it that day - or maybe longer. 

As you took a step closer, Cater finally noticed you. He was startled by your sudden appearance; if you’d surprised him anymore, he might have lept off the sand. As quick as that surprise came, it was just as quickly replaced by his usual carefree smile. He untucked his knees from his chin, phone screen black as he slipped it into his pocket. Cater tried to look as though nothing was amiss - as he often did, sadly. “Heya, [Y/n]. What’re you doing back here?” 

“I came to find you.” He seemed to notice your concerned tone, expression likely holding the same emotion. Even so, Cater pressed on, as though to make you forget what you saw. 

“Oh, yeah, sorry! Just needed to check something real quick.” He stood from his place behind the rock and dusted off his shorts. You could now get a better look at his face. There were…tear streaks on his cheeks. He’d been crying. “C’mon, let’s head back before-” 

“Cater.” The sudden sound of his name stopped the man mid-sentence. His eyebrows raised as he looked at you, silent as he let you continue. “What’s wrong?”

Cater feigned ignorance as he replied, “What do you mean? I’m fine.” 

“Cater.” You were almost afraid to touch him in fear of breaking a boundary, your hand raised in the air as you stopped yourself from grabbing his arm. “You’ve been crying - there’s tear streaks on your face.” Cater’s fingers came to touch his cheek, and just as he opened his mouth to speak, you cut him off. “And don’t try and tell me they’re from when we all were playing around earlier. I know better.” 

The two of you stood in silence. Cater’s head dropped as he looked down at the sand, seemingly trying to avoid your gaze. You took a leap of faith and finally touched his arm; you thanked whatever god there was that Cater didn’t pull away. He used to be so picky about you touching him the first few times you found him upset. You were happy he’d at least gained some level of comfort with you. “Cater, please,” you begged, voice soft as you tried to comfort him, “tell me what’s wrong.” 

For a few more seconds, Cater said not a word. Then, with a sigh that was almost pitiful, Cater dropped his cheerful persona. He put his hands in his pockets as he gave you a shrug, though still neglected to meet your eye. “I dunno…just one of those days where I think people don’t want me here, I guess.” 

“Did someone say something to you?” 

“No…” A few strands of hair fell free from his updo and dropped in front of his face. “It was just…I don’t know. Felt like everyone would have more fun without me.” His frown deepened as he shifted his feet. “A few locals recognized me from my Magicam earlier, too. I met them in the hotel lobby. Most were fine, friendly…but there were a couple that didn’t seem too happy to see me.” 

In your mind’s eye, you could see the dark tendrils of depression and self-doubt crawl up Cater’s spine, trapping him in their sick embrace. You wanted to rip them from his body, and from the troubled mine from which they came…but it was not that simple. You knew it wasn’t a straight path to recovery. Cater had his ups and downs, his hurdles to jump; there would be times he fell into the pits of despair. Unlike the past, however, you were now there to comfort him. Not only that, but to help him - pull him back up when he fell down. He wouldn’t give him, you wouldn’t allow it. 

“They might not have been,” you admitted. Your heart ached as you saw Cater’s shoulders slump a little more. His head lifted, however, when you gently took his hand. You looked deep into those sad green eyes as you spoke again. “But their opinions don’t matter. You have friends who care for you, Cater, that love to be around you.” You squeezed his hand a little tighter to emphasize your point, hoping he wouldn’t let go. “Even if they don’t entirely know the real you, I do - and as someone who knows the real Cater, I can say with full confidence they’ll love you just as much as I do.” 

There was a glimmer in Cater’s eyes, subtle yet bright. They looked a little hopeful now, and a little smile came to complement it. “You think so?”

“I know so.” 

Cater didn’t seem fully confident in that hope of yours - yet he grasped it anyway. His posture straightened as his smile grew, and the shadow over his face slowly faded. Unlike many smiles Cater wore day in and day out, this one was genuine. They seemed to come out more when you were around. “Thanks, [Y/n]...how’re you so good at words, huh? You cast a spell on me?”

You let out a giggle. “Nope - just my optimism and face in you.” 

Cater’s gaze softened as he let out a faint chuckle. You were delighted as he laced his fingers with yours, now gripping your hand just as tight. “I’ll try not to disappoint you then,” he said.

“You never could,” you reassured. 

Once again, you two stood in silence; this time, however, it was a peaceful one, filled with a nice fuzzy haze that always accompanied your quiet moments together. It was like you were both in a trance, lost in the eyes of the other - something you two seemed to do often. Cater, as usual, was the first to realize. He tugged your hand as he stepped away from the rock. “C’mon, we should go. If we don’t, people might think we’re doing something nefarious~” 

You laughed as you let him pull you along. “And what nefarious deed would that be?” 

“Mm, I don’t know, you tell me.” A smirk teased on his lips as he leaned down towards your face. “You’re the one who said you loved me.” 

“Wh-Wha?!” Cater chuckled as you stammered, eyes narrowed in delight. “When did I say that?” 

“When you said our friends would love me just as much as you do.” Yeah, Cater was teasing you now. “You sounded so genuine,” he got closer as he stopped you both in your tracks, “don’t tell me you lied.” 

“N-No, of course not! I meant every word, I just-” 

“You don’t have to get all flustered about it.” Cater was so close now; you could feel his breath against your lips. Your heart hammered in your chest as he inched closer, like he was going to…he kissed the tip of your nose before he pulled back again, though remained close. “I love you too~” 

Wait…was he…? Did he just…? You felt as though the air had left your lungs. Your cheeks burned red hot; you wanted to shy away, but you couldn’t take your eyes off him. They looked so soft…so sincere, despite his teasing. He waited patiently for you to say something, hand still intertwined with yours. You could feel the other ghost over your back as he tilted his head to the side. 

“Cater…d-do you-”

“There you are!” The sudden voice startled you both. Cater swiftly pulled away from you, head turned to look at the individual walking towards you: Riddle. “Where have you two been? It’s late! According to rule #42, the night curfew-” 

“Is nine p.m sharp, yeah.” Cater cut Riddle off, for he knew at least half of them by heart now. “C’mon Riddle, we haven’t been gone that long. It’s only,” Cater pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed the button to rouse it. The sudden burst of light burned your eyes; of course, Cater was used to it. When you squinted, you could see the time on the phone clock read…9:00 p.m. 

“Well shit.” Cater put his phone in his pocket as he let out a nervous chuckle. “Sorry, I guess we were gone longer than I thought. Sorry, Riddle…please don’t off my head?” 

“You’re lucky if I don’t collar you both.” Riddle appeared irritated, enough that you thought you would hear his signature ‘Off with your head!’ Surprisingly, that didn’t come. Instead, a tired sigh left his lips, “But, this time, I will let it slide. I myself neglected to keep up with the time. I am ashamed it was Professor Crewel who reminded me and the others of the time, and ordered us back to the hotel.” 

Wow, Riddle neglected the time? That was unusual…you guessed he was having a bit too much fun tonight. You couldn’t help but smile a little at the thought. “We’re both sorry, Riddle,” you said. “We were all just having too much fun!” You looked the young man in his gray colored eyes as you continued. “We’ll head back with you.” 

“Yes…thank you.” Riddle sighed again as he turned away and started walking back towards the campfire you’d shared with him and the others. “I will collect my things and meet you at the walkway.” The last thing you heard from the housewarden was him grumble, “I already have to wrestle Ace into leaving.” 

Well, if you two weren’t going to be collared, you knew who might. Before your thoughts could get too carried away, you felt Cater squeeze your hand a little. You looked up to see his usual smile stretched across his face. “C’mon, let’s go. Even if we won’t get collared, we don’t need Crewel on our butts.” 

You smiled and nodded in agreement. You were so happy to see Cater in a better mood. Hopefully you could help him keep it the rest of the trip. Just as you two neared the remnants of your campfire, just put out by Trey, Cater suddenly tugged you backwards. You gasped as your back hit his chest, the fabric of his opened red shirt brushing your arms. His mouth drew close to your ear as he spoke in a hushed whisper. 

“Come find me later, yeah?” You could feel his smile against your skin. “I’ll tell you everything~” 

Before the shiver could even course through your entire body, you were back beside Cater. He led you towards your things and waved at your friends as you approached. You were glad the fire was out and the moon was the only thing that lit the beach. If it wasn’t, everyone would definitely see the blush on your cheeks. Thankfully, Cater was there to help you gather your stuff and walk you to the entrance of the beach. 

And he rarely ever let go of your hand. 

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

S5 Headcanons Part 2!

Also SkullAmiGorai mention hehehoohoo

Mask

Real name is Jacklyn, but they typically go by Jack

Got the ‘tism

Half sharkling. Bro doesn’t have a tail, but he’s got some fins peaking out behind his back and some razor sharp teeth. Munch munch munch. Their eyes are also a little weird looking too

Shady is his cousin btw. They keep in touch sometimes but they’re not that close

Omnigender, uses he/they/bro pronouns. They started using “bro” as a neopronoun for shits and giggles at one point until it kinda just became an actual neopronoun for him because they like it

Also Omnisexual and panromantic. Why is everyone so attractive???

Tall. Scrawny as hell. Eat a sandwich, bloke

Makes the most lewd jokes out of the group. Bro even grosses Aloha out sometimes-

Mask: “I need her to bend me over the stove and spank me with a spatula-“

Aloha: “WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO????”

Very congested voice. That’s hay fever. He gets it from his father, who got it from his father, and so on

“Nice argument, unfortunately I am at your front door with a blunt object” — debating online about which character should be invited into smash bros

I know his bitch ass kins that motherfucker Sal from Sally Face

Favorite video game would have to be portal 2. He’d like the plot, the story, and bro would love Glad0s to pieces 10/10 villain, she’s a mood. They also like RPGs, plenty of which he’s download off of an itch.io knockoff

This fool STANKS. Like, bro smells like cheap cologne and 50 day old stale pizza. Take a bath

The rest of the S5 and Mask’s family have definitely tried to give him a bath before. They failed 😞 /j

Just kidding, Mask showers once for two whole days. Sometimes they’ll go for three days

Has multiple socials. Bro doesn’t post much other than some random funny videos they catch of the boys doing stupid shit and cackling at them when they get hurt in the most ridiculous ways

Is actually depressed. Bro was acting like an edgy teen back when they were 14, but as they got older they did actually start developing depression. Bro isn’t suicidal or anything, or at least they don’t actively seek to harm themselves, but bro has this kind of… Depressive symptom where they would just have a lack of care for if they like got killed all of a sudden, even almost hoping it would happen. Instead of being all mopey and sad and crying themselves to sleep at night, Mask is really just in a numb state. They just don’t care about anything. They still pull through because of all their family and friends, and bro knows that leaving those people in his life wouldn’t do any good.

Bro gained his depression from his mom suddenly passing away when he was 18. She died in a horrible car crash. They were even the first to find out because he accidentally stumbled across the scene. It wasn’t too far from where they lived. Thankfully, Mask is seeing a therapist, but he’s having trouble opening up still.

Acts like a cat. Loves to cuddle, really lazy with their movements and mannerisms, and love bites. Nibbles on your hand like a creature

Plays the chello. At first he started playing because he thought that the low pitch of the chords were edgy, lmao, but then the sound of it felt soothing and it ended up growing on him. Bro plays it whenever he’s stressed out over something or if he just needs a moment to clear his mind. It helps them think better, too. He’ll play for you if he feels like it or if you ask nicely, but he’s usually shy about it.

Crusty gamer, but they have a beautiful face. Aloha dramatically passed out when he saw Mask’s true face

Mask doesn’t really like to take his mask off in general. At first it was so bro could look scary and intimidating when bro was younger, but now it’s because they value their privacy. Plus, they find comfort in their anonymity. They typically keep it off when they’re at home or at a trusted friends house

Aloha’s octoling roommate, Lilith, creeped the shit of him when they first met, even though they were kinda similar in how they acted. Bro was just really off put by her gigantic size and build, and the fact that she was missing an eye and had previously been part of the Octarian army—as an army captain no less—oooh bro had the heebie jeebies! They actually ended up becoming friends after they just trauma dumped to each other one night during one of Aloha’s parties. There were tears and ugly sobs involved. Now? Don’t tell anyone, but Mask thinks she’s fine as hell (they like their women buff).

Seriously though, now Mask is practically head over heels for that woman. He never wants to admit it, and he gets all defensive when people bring it up, as it’s mostly because she’s afraid of finding out and potentially beating his ass over it, or just having to face the reality that she simply may not be interested in them. That alone was enough to leave an emotional bruise on em.

Hangs out with Bobble, even though her smile used to erk him to the end of the world. He also likes hanging out with Goggles, too. The both of them treat Mask nicely and bought him a game that he really wanted for their birthday, so now Mask feels like he’s indebted to them (that’s what he says, but bro just likes hanging out with them)

Real chill about it when Army came out as an octoling—he also then came out as a sharkling at the time, too. He was also the first to find out about Army having a crush on Goggles and he tried to hook ‘em up just for shits and giggles, and sort of to see what would happen. Bro did feel happy when they got together, but then they got flabbergasted when the two of them also got with Rider and Skull— “Wait, did I miss a few chapters? What the hell”

Skull

His real name is Sloan

Autism hiding up in here somewhere. Adhd, too

Also gay. Unlike Rider, he’s more open about it—or chill at least

He’s a kraken squid, one of the strongest creatures in the inkling and octoling genuses. Being a kraken squid not only gives him more animalistic traits in the way he acts, like being territorial and prone to snapping his teeth and growling, but he also has bones. Krakens are one of the only ones, besides leviathans and some sharklings, to have bones in the cephalopod class

That being said, he’s broken an arm at one point. He mentions it every so often like it was a fever dream and people look at him alarmingly because the way he broke his arm sounds absolutely agonizing

Besides the E-liter, he also likes using the krak on splat roller

Likes to wear goth punk style, either that or punk rock

Gives the most bombastic side eye

He says he tone deaf when he sings, but he can actually sing pretty good. It’s really soothing. He’s just really shy about his singing and uses it as an excuse not to sing. You gotta bully him into doing it (don’t do that tho, not nice) He can also rap pretty good, too. And he’s really good with the bass guitar and regular guitar

Has really beautiful tanned skin, because he stands out in the sun all day holding his e-liter in matches and he’s Scalican and knows Coralish (Splatoon pun of Mexican and Spanish) he’s got a bunch of tan lines, too

But what if he had a southern accent? 👀 (I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABYYYY)

He’s been wearing his skull bandana for the longest to hide his sharp ass teeth to try to avoid people from getting spooked of him. Well, the skull on his bandana didn’t really help all that much, but he actually kinda liked the style because he felt intimidating for another reason other his real teeth.

He’s naturally strong as hell and tall as a skyscraper because he’s a kraken squid, and he’s been like that since he turned 14. It’s because of that lots of people are always intimidated by him, even when he tries to prove he’s docile (Kind of a discrimination thing he’s gotta deal with everyday 😞). But deep down he’s a gentle giant. Really trustworthy man, too. He also has sharp claws; they’re very pretty

Got into a few fist fights, some double sided and… one sided, between him and some drink tampering shmucks Aloha would catch at his parties or at his parents’ bar. He’s never started a fight, but he has sure as hell finished them all

He’s kinda insecure about handling kids and hatchlings. He loves them to death, but because of his giant, intimidating feature, he knows he’d be prone to accidentally freaking younglings out. It also has to do with the fact that his hatchling cousin started crying really hard the millisecond Skull tried to hold them in his arms one time back when he was like 12; He still hasn’t gotten over it. It’s kinda ironic though, because despite his intimidating form, lots of younglings and hatchlings actually really like him right off the bat. It’s probably because he’s actually really good with kids in general. He’d play with them, keep them out of trouble, and just knows what they’d need on a whim. He’s your go-to babysitter kind of guy

His favorite pastries are cannolis, his favorite cakes are cheesecakes, and his favorite candy would be all three flavors of chocolate. He had a crisis when he had to choose one team during the chocolate splatfest

Really territorial about his food. He growls if you get near him while he’s eating food, especially sweets. Not only that, but he’s even worse when he’s with a significant other. He’ll straight up snarl at you if he feels like you’re bothering them. He’d even snap his teeth like a dog at you. Leave him alone to cuddle with his boyfriens >:(

He does also growl and snarl when he senses danger, if he’s pissed off, or if he just wants to be left alone in general. He’s got a low, deep growl that can pierce your soul. It’s some freaky shit. It makes for a good warning to not cross him, cuz he will fuck you up bad.

He also purrs a lot, and LOUDLY. He loves to purr, it’s his own way of showing affection. He also likes to nibble, whether it be on your hands, neck, ear, anywhere. He’ll also play bite and it‘s so ticklish. He’s like a doggy 💜💜💜

He had a crush on Mask once, back when they played in Inkopolis Plaza, but it was mostly because bro was so affectionate with him. Mask was actually his gay awakening before he decided that he liked imagining Mask as more of a friend. Mask also made for a great wingman, anyways.

Skull fell for Goggles the same reason he fell for Mask, because he was so nice and affectionate with him—even though he flashed him to the public in the square (you had to be there). He was also intrigued by him because he admired how Goggles faced him so determinedly, even after Goggles lost against him. He was the first person who wasn’t afraid of Skull, and that really did confuse him for an extended amount of time

There’s also Rider; He got the feels for Rider after he faced up against Emperor. He too admired Rider for his determination, and that was when he began to realize he had a type—and that he was poly. You could also say their pep talk they had before Rider faced Emperor’s team had played a part in it. They also got closer during the ranked battle championship arc.

As for Army, well, he and Army bonded when he found out Army was an octoling. Skull kinda related to him, as he was also seen as different from other inklings in society because of his large and intimidating structure—though Army didn’t really have to face that, but he was shamed for who he was by his grandad so that was something he and Skull had somewhat in common. He was also there to comfort Army when he was going through it with his grandad getting arrested and everything. He even offered him a place to stay if he needed, even when Army assured that Goggles’ parents were happy to have him around. He’s also really grateful for the fact that Army always makes sure to be his reminder for a bunch of things and also keeps him from getting lost, and his curry is YUM YUM YUM (proof that good food makes a even the bad bitches fold)

He and Aloha’s friend, Lilith started out a bit rocky, but then they grew to have a mutual trust in each other. They also ended up becoming friends after Lilith heard him singing and started singing along (they’re both shy about singing)

Weekly ink rifle meet up with Headphones and Half Rim. Eventually they started inviting N-Pacer! It’s just when they spend the day doing friend stuff, cuz theyre friends now :)

Rider

Real name is Roe

Is BRI’ISH. Heavy British accent boi; “oi my names Rida’ ”

Dude is so tone deaf. But he can keep a beat pretty well. He’s tried to play the drums at one point, but he hasn’t played in a while. He has to have his drum set hiding in his house somewhere

Socially detached. He was taken advantage by other kids a lot when he was younger, and those memories never left him. He’s also had a few issues growing up, too, especially without his dad.

His father left him and his mom before he and his sister were even born. He doesn’t even have a good idea as to what he looks like since his mom took down every photo in the house that he was in since he left them. His mom refuses to ever mention him, and if Rider ever does she’s quick to change the subject. All he knows is that he inherited his father’s voice, and both he and Platinum inherited his nose and lips. Rider never knew why he left. But truth be told, he doesn’t care no more, he’s got so many more people to worry about nowadays

Coming back to edit this part: He has a twin sister and a twin brother btw. He’s one of three triplets. His sister’s real name’s Rinet (it’s Renet but it’s just spelled differently) and his twin brother’s name is Ryan. Rinet’s nickname is Platinum while Ryan is Rockin’. Platinum wears the white inky rider and she mains the golden aerospray, while Cooler wears the Rockin’ leather jacket and mains the Golden Enperry Dualies. Rinet’s kinda an asshole but she’s a pretty fun friend to have around. Ryan is more laid back and a “go with the flow” kinda guy, but literally he doesn’t care about a lot of stuff. Rider and them all used to be on the same team until he got sick of Rinet’s shit because he thought she was such a snooty player and decided to go his own way while Rinet left with Ryan. Eventually, Rider found his own team that he has now. Every so often, if one of his teammates get sick or unavailable, Platinum will automatically fills in for them, and if not her, then it’ll be Rockin’ .

Platinum doesn’t play turf war or ranked battles that much. She’s mostly seen doing Grizzco shifts to try to help her and Rider’s mom pay the bills and get their mom closer to retirement; it’s also to save up money for college. Rockin’ and Rider wish she would quit someday, as they don’t trust Grizzco industries and their “policies” and work environment. Rider doesn’t admit it, but he worries about her a whole lot. Rockin’ does his best to keep an eye on her, mostly by tagging along with her in salmon runs as joint workers.

He’s pretty skilled with the E-Liter. He likes to stick with the no-scope; inspired by Headphones, in purpose of keeping an eye on his team.

He and Wireglasses weren’t related. They did grow up in the same neighborhood as kids, before Wireglasses moved to Splatsville with his parents. It made Rider kinda sad because they were actually good friends, one of the only real friends he ever really had before blue team. When they met again after he went to Splatsville, they gave each other a big ol hug.

His ass does not like Emperor. Emperor doesn’t like him either, except it’s more that he just doesn’t vibe with him, meanwhile Rider just LOATHES him to pieces. If they’re both in the same room, Rider will go out of his way to stand in the opposite side of the room just to be as far away from “that fancy ass whiteboy” as possible. It’s so ridiculously funny and more so when you remember that all of team blue are good friends with Emperor so it really ruffles Rider’s feathers.

He has nothing against Prince, tho. If the S4 say he’s cool, then he’s cool.

His mom is… She’s not perfect, to say the least. Who is, though? I mean, Sheena really did struggle to cope when he boyfriend abandoned her when she fell pregnant, with triplets no less. She absolutely refuses to drown her sorrows in alcohol and drugs, I implore her for that, but she was still incredibly depressed even when her kids came into the world. She was slightly neglectful during their first few years, and her parents didn’t bother to help her with them because she left them to be with her boyfriend, but they didn’t bother regaining contact even when she was struggling. Sheena got better eventually, especially after she started gaining more friends in the neighborhood who helped co-parent. Eventually she was able to get back on her feet and become the kind of parent she wanted to be for her three kids. Since then, she became a lot more energetic and bombastic, she had that cool aunt personality while juggling around two kids at the same time. She loves her babies to death, and she thinks it’s funny to kind of embarrass them in public all the time by giving them kisses all over their faces and head and giving them right hugs. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but Platinum, Rockin’ and Rider know that life would be a lot more duller without their mother around. 💚🤍🖤 (not me indulging in motorcycle mama 😭)

His mom’s part of a biker gang, and she has the nickname Rose because she wears a pink leather jacket that she got custom made. She’s got a sweet, red Road-King in the garage. She keeps saying that she’s gonna get Rider a black Road King someday when he’s old enough. Rider honestly doubts it, but don’t underestimate his mother’s determination to keep her word.

He’s honestly in no rush, really. In fact he’s afraid of getting back on the motorcycles again. He used to ride around on the back of his mom’s motorcycle and be part of “the gang,” but he take on a hiatus after a car accident that had him fist bumping death’s hand before he ended up in the hospital for almost a week with a scar that’s never gonna leave. He hasn’t road with her since, but even he admits that he wants to get back on it someday.

He’s pretty smart with cars and with motorcycles, too. He learned it all from his mom. Why go to the car repair center when you can take it over to his house to get it checked on? Charges a fair price, too. Rockin’ and Platinum like to help out too, but they’re much more experienced in motorcycles since they both own one and take of their own.

His right eye is partially blind from where he got sanitized. He would’ve felt more insecure about it if it weren’t for his boyfriends assuring him that he’s such a handsome boy every single day since they each of them got together.

Yes, he is built like a brick house. He swings a large mass of metal around like a wiffle bat everyday out in the battlefield. What else did you expect?

He’s so easy to scare, it’s hilarious. You can come up from behind him and go “BOO!” And he’ll jump a little and just glare at you. But if he gets really scared, like if he’s in one of those haunted house attractions, he’ll start screaming and slowly start falling to the ground in slow motion or just run off wordlessly. It’s even funnier because he’ll grab the nearest person he’s with and they’re both gonna eat shit together by falling or he’s gonna throw them over his shoulder and bull a skiddadle. Either that, or he’s just gonna run away so fast without saying anything; there was also this time he was playing basketball by himself in the evening and the lights suddenly went off and he SPED AWAY so fast you could hear the fear in his shoes when they squeaked. (That last part is based off a funny video I saw of a man running away when the streetlights went of). His ass does not like horror games, either

He has multiple pair of boots, and leather jackets.

He would absolutely wear the dreadlock hairstyle in Splatoon 3, he HAS too

He was very shocked to find out Army was an octoling, but he had his full support. But NOTHING could prepare him for when he finally met Goggles’ parents and learned that theyre octolings too. He likes them a whole lot, they’re very nice to him and they became friends with his mom when they all met each other at one of Goggle and Rider’s meet-your-parents dinner date

Ok so I’m so sorry I sorta just dumped my personal issues onto Mask that must’ve been really screwed up to read- (my mom didn’t die in a car crash but she had dementia and she died last year on new years). I was also indulging in Rider’s mom for a little bit, because, I wish my mom was still here to give me a bunch of kisses all over my face while I complain about people seeing us because- I miss that :(

Don’t worry about it 👍🏻

Also sorry for those who come back every so often and find out the headcanons have changed. I should probably just make part 3’s and 4’s but I don’t feel like it. I’m gonna do team blue at some point erp erp erp

And don’t look at me like that for also jumping on the oc x canon ship bandwagon with Mask. I just thought that they and Lilith would be silly together.

< Here’s the first part with Aloha and Army

[orions-choker]

+:★:+* Chapter Seven: Welcome Home +:★:+*

It was decidedly depression, that's what her friends told her. Y/N was no stranger to depression but this felt different. There was no perpetual sadness, just a heavy fatigue both physical and mental. Her whole world seemed distorted by a murky gray veil.

James had made her stick out the rest of the tour with them, too worried to not have her within his sight at all times. She made little effort to protest. She was sure it was just the cold weather getting to her, making her tired. She would feel better when the sun reared its head for her again.

She hadn’t moved from her bed in a couple days now, occasionally sitting up to rewind her tape and keep the tv perpetually playing. She wasn’t hungry enough to get off the bus either as much as the boys tried. They had been kind enough to bring her leftovers. Most of them anyways. Kirk hadn’t spoken to her since her drunken rant.

A gentle knock against her door barely stirred her. Her head rolled from one side of her pillow to the other, eyes locked on the door. She sighed before calling out. “Come in.” Her voice was raspy and dry. Slowly it slid open, a streak of light illuminating a spot on her floor. She hadn’t realized how dark the room was.

“Hey sunshine, want to come watch the show tonight?” Her brother's face peaked in the room. The nickname seemed comical now. It was kind he asked her this despite her consistent refusal. James stepped in the room, shutting the door behind him and sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked rough too, his facial hair was growing in, it was unusual to see him like that.

Y/N hummed before shaking her head. “No thank you, I don't think I'm ready tonight.” It was her excuse every time. “I don’t feel good.” She turned away from him once more to avoid his disappointed expression.

James' heavy hand came to rest on her thigh through her thick blanket. “Y/N…” He trailed off gruffly. “Why don’t you get up and shower, you might feel better.” He prompted her hopefully. She was acutely aware of just how greasy her hair was at the moment, the long strands tangled into rats nests, probably matts. She really needed that haircut. “Honestly, it's not a request.” The sternness in his voice surprised her. “You don’t have to come to the show if you decide you still don’t want to but you can’t rot away.”

“I’m not rotting.” Y/N bit back at him with the last of her energy. Reluctantly she shuffled from beneath her covers, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The floor was cold against her bare feet and she hissed. James was quick to help her up, her legs shaky after weeks of not being used. She leaned on him as he pushed her door open.

It was the first time she was exposed to the rest of the bus since they boarded once more. This one had a different set up, the shared bathroom no longer resided outside her door, no it was on the opposite end of the bus. She would have to parade her pathetic state in front of the others. She almost stopped walking at the thought.

The two siblings entered the living area, the warm cracklings of laughter died at the sight of her. Typical, she thought. She brought down the mood of any room she was in lately. She refused to look at them, keeping her eyes trained on the floor as she shuffled forward. “Can you bring me clean clothes?” She sighed defeated as she entered the small bathroom.

Her brother nodded at her, closing the door behind him leaving her alone. She turned to the mirror hesitantly. Okay maybe she was rotting. Her skin was almost translucent, save for the deep purple bags beneath her glassy red eyes. Her lips were chapped and dusty. Her hair was just as bad as she thought though, there would be a lot of detangling necessary to fix this. Quickly she turned away from the zombie that stared back at her and started the shower.

As she removed her old and frankly smelly pajamas she noticed how loosely they hung off her frame. She sighed at the sorry state she was in and stepped under the warm stream. It took an insane amount of scrubbing her skin to get rid of the grimy feeling. Her skin was raw and red by the end of it. Half a bottle of conditioner later and some rather large chunks of hair in her brush had her mane tamed. She wasn’t sure how long she had been standing there for but the water had run cold now. Begrudgingly she admitted she felt better.

Set aside for her on the counter were real clothes. James the cheeky bastard had brought her actual jeans and a shirt rather than the pajamas she had been living in. She noticed her old pile of clothes on the floor had been removed as well. She smiled ever so slightly at the sweet gesture.

There was more warmth to her skin now, her hair smooth and shiny once more. It did little for her other shortcomings though. She hardly looked normal. Stepping back into the living room she couldn’t avoid the prying sets of eyes looking at her now. “Feel better?” James’s voice sounded from beside her. She couldn’t look away from Kirk, his big eyes swimming with worry as he looked at her. It was almost infuriating.

Y/N picked at her fingers awkwardly. “Yeah,” She mumbled, her head dropping allowing her to be concealed by her hair like a curtain. “I’ll come…to the show tonight.” She sighed begrudgingly, knowing that was truly what James had been asking her.

Lars’s arms around her caused her to screech in shock, With surprising strength he picked her up in a bear hug. “There's my girl.” He shook her with an excited aggression. She could smell the booze on his breath as well. “Enough of this moping around shit.” He grinned as he let go of her.

Her smile didn’t reach her eyes as she nodded at him. She moved to sit on the far side of the couch, Jason serving as the barrier between her and Kirk. She pulled her knees up to her chest as she curled into a ball. Jason smiled down softly at her offering her a sip of his water. She accepted gratefully. As the cool liquid swirled past her lips she realized how long it had been since she drank anything.

Like a deprived animal she crushed the bottle, gasping for air as she finished it. Jason stared at her mouth agape. She smiled sheepishly at him. “Sorry, I...needed that, let me get you another one.” She offered, moving to stand once more.

Quickly he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder, shaking his head with kind eyes. “No it’s fine I’ll get us some more.” His voice was soft against her ears, unlike her brother's growls and Lars’s yelling. As Jason stood up, Y/N glanced towards Kirk. His eyes were trained on her, mouth opening and closing as if he wanted to say something. Suddenly a cold bottle was pressed into her hands once more. She smiled up at the other, taking small sips now as he sat back down.

“Thank you.” She whispered to the other, resting her head against the back of the couch. She watched from the corner of her eye as Kirk and Jason picked up their conversation from earlier. She envied their closeness, in her absence it was apparent they had become a duo. The way Kirk’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, Jason's slightly deeper laugh echoing off the walls of the bus. She wanted that, wanted to be a part of it. She didn’t ignore the way Jason seemed to stumble just a bit over his words around Kirk either.

Y/N frowned and looked away, instead casting her glance to her brother and Lars. It seemed empty, just the two of them sitting there. She didn’t want to think too hard about the missing presence. James seemed more tense around Lars lately and it made her think maybe best friends were never meant to last.

“Alright fuckers lets roll out.” James startled her a little as he stood up from the table, walking towards the door of the bus. Quickly Y/N gathered her bag, ensuring she had her sketchbook tucked away beside her. She trailed behind, the last to step off and on to the road. The cool winds of the Canadian winter chilled her skin. An involuntary shiver ran across her spine.

There was a sudden heaviness around her shoulders. She looked up in surprise, seeing Jason placing his leather jacket around her, leaving him with bare arms in nothing but a tank top. “I’m okay Jase you need this more.” She protested, moving to shrug it off her shoulders before he stopped her with a firm grip.

“I’m good Y/N, y’know the last thing we need is you getting sick.” Jason smiled lazily at her as he slowed his pace to walk beside her. “How are you doin?” He asked her softly, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans.

She couldn’t help the way her eyes drifted ahead to Kirk, watching his long dark curls bounce excitedly as they entered the back doors to the gig. “Oh, Y’know…” She trailed off stopping just short of the threshold. She took a deep breath, the cold air burning her lungs.

Jason’s sympathetic nod did little to comfort her. “Yeah I think I know.” He looked off towards the boys. “Did you guys break up? If you uh don't mind me asking.” She could tell he had been waiting to ask that question.

“No.” She smiled sadly. “We were never a thing…like that.” She ignored the surprised raise of Jason’s eyebrows. “I love him though…loved him? I don’t know, he's my best friend.” She watched longingly as Kirk hung the strap of his guitar across his neck. She didn’t know why she was telling Jason all this, maybe it was easier, he didn’t know them back when they were good. “After Cliff…everyone fell apart, I just thought me and him were stronger than that.”

A warmth flooded her body as she was tugged into Jason's side. It was unfamiliar the feeling of his arms around her, but not unpleasant. She returned the gesture “Grief does shitty things to people.” He pulled back to look at her, really truly look at her. His eyes seemed to bore into the very core of her being. She was seen in a way she hadn’t been in a long time. She felt small, and scared tears welling up in her eyes as she looked back. “You guys are gonna be okay.” He assured her.

For whatever reason Y/N was inclined to agree with him, for the first time in a while the room seemed just a bit lighter, a bit more vibrant as he smiled down at her. She got it now, the reason Kirk gravitated towards Jason over her. He was the embodiment of comfort. How could she ever blame him for being close to Kirk. “Thanks Jase.” She mumbled, wiping at her watery eyes with the heel of her palm. “Kick ass out there tonight, kay?”

Her head turned towards Kirk as he took a sip from his drink, placing it down and moving to the side stage, waiting to go on. Without thinking she moved forward, talking long strides towards him and grasping onto his hand. He turned to her, eyes wild and mouth slightly agape. Y/N crashed forward into him, uncaring of the guitar separating them. His arms came to wrap around her instantly, surprising her with the force of his grip on her.

They stayed like that, silently for a long moment before the thrum of the opening music rumbled under their feet. “Don’t let go yet.” Kirk whispered into her ear, fingers tightening against the leather of Jason's jacket still slung across her back.

“You gotta go play, I'll be right here waiting for you, Like I always should have been.” Y/N’s lip wobbled as she spoke. It was her fault too, for not being here.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

[spade-of-storms]

All about AYAKA!

Aka Allen (my Yuu OC) and Deuce's future Shiba Inu! ♡♥︎♡

Once Allen and Deuce move into their own house, they end up adopting a dog. And knowing how much I love lore and parallels, yes, you guessed it: said dog is a metaphor for what would've happened if Deuce and Allen had known each other in middle school.

A quick summary before we start:

Allen loves Shiba Inus and they're one of the few things his teen self finds comfort in. Deuce is well aware of this and not only gifts Allen Shiba plushies, but also secretly does research on what the breed is like (and on how to raise dogs in general) in case Allen wants to have one once they officially move in together.

But now about Ayaka herself as well as the lore...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Multiple years have passed since the graduation, and Deuce and Allen are not only engaged and about to get married, but also live together in an own house.

Deuce had been following a nearby Shiba Inu breeder on social media for some time now because he knew that Allen still secretly wanted one, and when it turned out that one of the new puppies was "neither a boy nor a girl", nobody wanted the dog. After all the other puppies were already rehomed, this one still wasn't. It wasn't able to produce puppies itself in the future, and many people considered an intersex dog to be "too much of a challenge".

Deuce originally didn't want to impulsively buy a dog without talking it out with Allen first, but hearing the puppy's story and knowing that it would likely end up at an animal shelter one day simply because it was intersex broke Deuce's heart and reminded him of Allen.

Allen had been bullied due to his "confusing" appearance (a result of being intersex) and gender all his life prior to coming to Twisted Wonderland, and it peaked in middle school — a time when Allen and Deuce obviously didn't know each other yet. The bullying, along with a couple other things, had ruined Allen... and even though Deuce was fully aware that he couldn't have helped simply due to them being in different worlds at the time, he still felt bad about the fact that there had never been a person to defend Allen from the bullies, to prevent Allen from becoming depressed, to give Allen confidence and love...

It had already happened to Allen. It had to be prevented for this poor puppy. The little Shiba had to be saved from a sad life in an animal shelter, and instead, it had to be given love and warmth from the very beginning...

Deuce spontaneously bought the dog, promising to protect it and give it the most loving home there could be, and surprised Allen with it... who broke down in tears of joy.

That's how sweet little Ayaka became a member of the Spade family.

MORE FACTS:

Ayaka is a Mameshiba.

Ayaka's name & gender were assigned to her by the breeder, who thought she was a typical female dog until the first check at the vet.

Ayaka often wears a little ribbon.

Ayaka is very obedient, loving, smart and cautious.

Ayaka had just reached adulthood when Milo (Allen & Deuce's son) was born.

Ayaka's lifespan is tied to Milo's through a ritual. Allen has a major fear of losing those closest to him — including Ayaka — and wanted to ensure that she lives much longer than the average dog.

Another reason for this: Milo and Ayaka are an inseparable duo and best friends. They don't want to spend a day without each other.

Ayaka sometimes floats because of Milo's powers.

[maisanctuary]

14 common inner critic attacks

Here is a list of 14 common inner critic attacks divided into the key categories of perfectionism and endangerment. Each is paired with a healthier (and typically more accurate) thought-substitution response. Click here for the PDF version.

Perfectionism My perfectionism arose as an attempt to gain safety and support in my dangerous family. Perfection is a self-persecutory myth. I do not have to be perfect to be safe or loved in the present. I am letting go of relationships that require perfection. I have a right to make mistakes. Mistakes do not make me a mistake. Every mistake or mishap is an opportunity to practice loving myself in the places I have never been loved.

All-or-None & Black-and-White Thinking I reject extreme or overgeneralized descriptions, judgments or criticisms. One negative happenstance does not mean I am stuck in a never-ending pattern of defeat. Statements that describe me as “always” or “never” this or that, are typically grossly inaccurate.

Self-Hate, Self-Disgust & Toxic Shame I commit to myself. I am on my side. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I turn shame back into blame and disgust, and externalize it to anyone who shames my normal feelings and foibles. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I refuse to be shamed for normal emotional responses like anger, sadness, fear and depression. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit.

Micromanagement/Worrying/Obsessing/ Looping/ Over-Futurizing I will not repetitively examine details over and over. I will not jump to negative conclusions. I will not endlessly second-guess myself. I cannot change the past. I forgive all my past mistakes. I cannot make the future perfectly safe. I will stop hunting for what could go wrong. I will not try to control the uncontrollable. I will not micromanage myself or others. I work in a way that is “good enough”, and I accept the existential fact that my efforts sometimes bring desired results and sometimes they do not. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” - The Serenity Prayer

Unfair/Devaluing Comparisons To others or to one’s most perfect moments. I refuse to compare myself unfavorably to others. I will not compare “my insides to their outsides”. I will not judge myself for not being at peak performance all the time. In a society that pressure us into acting happy all the time, I will not get down on myself for feeling bad.

Guilt Feeling guilty does not mean I am guilty. I refuse to make my decisions and choices from guilt; sometimes I need to feel the guilt and do it anyway. In the inevitable instance when I inadvertently hurt someone, I will apologize, make amends, and let go of my guilt. I will not apologize over and over. I am no longer a victim. I will not accept unfair blame. Guilt is sometimes camouflaged fear. – “I am afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger”.

"Shoulding” I will substitute the words “want to” for “should” and only follow this imperative if it feels like I want to, unless I am under legal, ethical or moral obligation.

Overproductivity/Workaholism/Busyholism I am a human being not a human doing. I will not choose to be perpetually productive. I am more productive in the long run, when I balance work with play and relaxation. I will not try to perform at 100% all the time. I subscribe to the normalcy of vacillating along a continuum of efficiency.

Harsh Judgments of Self & Others/Name-Calling I will not let the bullies and critics of my early life win by joining and agreeing with them. I refuse to attack myself or abuse others. I will not displace the criticism and blame that rightfully belongs to them onto myself or current people in my life. “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself”. - Jane EyreENDANGERMENT ATTACKS

Drasticizing/Catastrophizing/Hypochondrisizing I feel afraid but I am not in danger. I am not “in trouble” with my parents. I will not blow things out of proportion. I refuse to scare myself with thoughts and pictures of my life deteriorating. No more home-made horror movies and disaster flicks.

Negative focus I renounce over-noticing & dwelling on what might be wrong with me or life around me. I will not minimize or discount my attributes. Right now, I notice, visualize and enumerate my accomplishments, talents and qualities, as well as the many gifts Life offers me, e.g., friends, nature, music, film, food, beauty, color, pets, etc.

Time Urgency I am not in danger. I do not need to rush. I will not hurry unless it is a true emergency. I am learning to enjoy doing my daily activities at a relaxed pace.

Disabling Performance Anxiety I reduce procrastination by reminding myself that I will not accept unfair criticism or perfectionist expectations from anyone. Even when afraid, I will defend myself from unfair criticism. I won’t let fear make my decisions.

Perseverating About Being Attacked Unless there are clear signs of danger, I will thought-stop my projection of past bully/critics onto others. The vast majority of my fellow human beings are peaceful people. I have legal authorities to aid in my protection if threatened by the few who aren’t. I invoke thoughts and images of my friends’ love and support.

Source: Pete Walker in "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving"

[your-nanas-house]

Hi can I request Chris decker x plus!size reader I was thinking that when Chris almost got robbed and when sky died right next to him Chris never got married or had a kid when all of that happened instead he lived alone he had no wife or kids so after is incident Chris signed up for a dating app and he matched up with the reader and when they where having dinner Chris invited the reader into his home as long as she promised she wasn’t a serial killer or a rover she said she wasn’t when they were just sitting on his couch talking the reader asked him what was with all the questions Chris told the reader what happened with sky and he was trying to be careful the reader said she was sorry for what happened to him so maybe after a while into there friendly relationship they start dating and when they were just friends they slept together a lot so maybe that now there dating the reader opens up to Chris because he wants to know some of her secrets she told him that she was abused by her stepdad it stopped when she moved back in with her dad maybe for the end Chris got really serious with the reader and asked her to marry him.

Hello darling, this idea was amazing! Thank you for you patience. 🥲🥰 it really means a lot to me.

After a bottle of wine

◇ Pairing: Chris Decker X fem!Reader

◇ Warnings: angst, traumas, depression, date app, sadness

◇ Summary: Chris gives a chance to humanity again

◇ Notes: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.

A rich house in the mountains would typically be an ostentatious, fancy house situated amongst the snow-capped peaks of the mountain range. It could have a modern design and a modern interior, with sleek lines and designer furniture. It might have large windows that overlook the mountains, with stunning views of nature. It could have an outdoor fireplace and terrace with a luxurious seating area where the inhabitants can relax and enjoy themselves while admiring the scenery.

A huge, paradisiacal house that for Chris Decker was a kind of prison, the traumas he had suffered remained despite the fact that it had definitely been so long haunted him every day, especially at night when he tried to sleep, darkness surrounded him like the silence of the huge house.

He had not been out of his home much anymore, his trust in human beings was not as strong as it once was, he had also lost contact with his ex-wife despite seeing his daughter at certain times during the year.

Chris felt extremely lonely, afraid, sad and worried but his primal instincts prevailed one night since, after a few more glasses of wine, he found himself asleep on the couch the next morning. His hair tousled, a throbbing headache, his glasses forgotten on the floor like the glass and empty bottle of wine, his phone ringing with the alarm clock he had programmed for his morning exercises.

There didn't seem to be anything different except from his phone which kept lighting up showing notifications belonging to a dating app. The ginger couldn't remember how or why he had done it but in an effort to understand more about what had happened the night before he opened the app, with one hand he held the phone while the other rubbed his eye in an attempt to chase away sleep before placing his glasses in place on his face to read the messages.

There were several matches and requests for conversations, most were definitely attractive looking young women but looking for love or a fuck, something Chris was not looking for at that time.

The only contact that didn't alienate or disgust him was a reply from a young girl, in her profile picture she had y/h/c hair, y/e/c eyes and curves that the young man found attractive. It had her passions written on it and a brief description of her person which Chris didn't read right away, opting to read what he had written to her the night before.

Unfortunately for him the messages had apparently cleared and there was only a text lighting his tired face

'Thank you for the conversation yesterday, it was very interesting and pleasant'.

The rich young man could not remember what he had written to her at all but for some strange reason, the urge to delete the app did not come as strong as he was hoping. He had no intention of responding anyway, which is why he ignored it until lunchtime.

It was just when he was busy eating alone, soft music playing in the background, that a new notification appeared illuminating his phone and causing him to pick it up as if on impulse;

That's when he decided to reply to her with a gentle message explaining the situation.

The young woman who said her name was Y/n was very sympathetic to him, she stayed awake till late answering his messages, keeping him company until they both fell asleep.

.

It soon became a somewhat habit for both. The two of them texting each other every day, even getting to the next steps of sending voice messages, selfies, and photos of things they wanted to share, and after a period of several months they even got to making long phone calls.

It was only after several months though, that Chris found the courage to want to meet her in person, agreeing to go to a restaurant with her on a Friday night.

.

The young man was nervous, his tuxedo made him feel ridiculous which is why he decided to change into more casual clothes before leaving his house to drive his car to the restaurant.

An Italian restaurant, private and domestic, there were flowers everywhere and writing in Italian on the walls and on the menus. Inside there were several round tables already set, the atmosphere was definitely romantic and pleasant. Anyone would have fallen in love there but Chris was not there for that reason, although he had a red rose in his hand for his new "friend".

He entered the place awkwardly and made his way among the tables, searching with his eyes for Y/n.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter

[probssomethingorother]

what's coming out of my keyboard

okay folks, here we go...a candid look at everything I have SLOWLY swirling around out there (as of 3/21)

(and if you read something you like and want more of it just like drop a comment or send an ask or spam me with messages cause I have a BAD habit of letting fics rot 😅)

ＰＯＳＴ－ ＥＰＩＳＯＤＥ ８:

In the After : the bits we didn't get to see as Joel and Ellie escape and then what comes after, moment by moment as they try to recoup

-> slow whump, lots of hurt/comfort, just tragic Joel and Ellie trauma dynamics after David, and ofc the birth of "dad" Joel -> in progress, chapters -- 13, ~65K words, last upd. 8/24 -> affectionately nicknaming this one the forgotten older sib cause yeah Read here on Ao3 or find the first chapter on Tumblr here

Back & Forth : Joel and Ellie struggling to fall back into a rhythm immediately after Silver Lake because they are both too stubborn to admit they are not doing hot

-> Ellie (trying) to take the lead, bad communication, hopelessness and double angst, dash of comfort -> in progress, chapters -- 11, ~45k words, last upd. 1/5 -> I posted chapter 1 of this so the idea would get out of my head and I could focus on in the after. I had zero expectations or plans of continuing and now it is one of my most popular?? Read all of it here on Ao3 or, find chapter 1 and the latest chapter 11 on Tumblr here

We all break a little, when we fall : weeks and weeks out from David, basically to Utah, Joel and Ellie finally have to confront things they haven't been talking about

-> dark with some canon typical violence, big sad, with big convos, a look inside Ellie's traumatized brain, oh and some FEDRA backstory for funzies -> in progress, chapters -- 7, ~26k words, last upd. 9/20 -> probably one of the darker and most serious things I have ever written and was soooo nervous to post. I wrote out a massive section of the end of this before even writing the beginning so yeah that's all Read here on Ao3 or take a peak at chapter 7 on Tumblr

Derail the mind of Me: Joel told Ellie she would go back to her normal self after winter. When that doesn't happen, she tries to find a solution herself at the end of a little orange bottle

-> not super dark, but probably a bit depressing. Drug use, angst, and Joel freaking the fuck out when something goes wrong -> in progress, chapters -- 2, ~14k words, last upd. 2/15 -> I've had this one brewing for while, and have been trying to do the concept justice, but damn is it hard. Read all of here on Ao3 or chapter 2 here on Tumblr

Sad and More Sad:

Next of Kin: Joel becomes a dad on the worst day of his life

-> Hurt/small touches of comfort cause Joel just lost his wife and that’s sad and he’s 21 and doesn’t know anything about caring for a baby. -> COMPLETE ✅chapters - 1, ~16k ->this one is just really really sad. I think the canon is that Joel’s wife left him, but I just think it would make his character way more tragic if she died. Especially because Joel had Sarah so young. You don’t know Claire Johnson but you will be grieving her just like Joel. Read here on Ao3 or just pop over to the Tumblr version

Cried out, to you alone : a continuation of Sarah's death on outbreak day cause Joel sobbing in a field was not enough

-> Hurt/no comfort cause Sarah is deadzo, Joel is a mess, and Tommy is stepping up, surprisingly a lot of Tommy in this one??? -> Complete (for now) ✅, chapters -- 2, ~8k -> started as a one-shot ish, and is kinda the first multi-chapter fic i've finished. There was interest for me to continue, and I have ideas, but not sure if that comes as more chapters, or another part (probably this) Read here on Ao3 or find the latest chapter on Tumblr here

I can't do this without you : Ellie taking care of Joel after he gets stabbed - that's it, that's the fic

-> a sick fic if you want it to be, but really is just Ellie trying to make sure Joel doesn't go six feet under -> in progress, chapters -- 1, ~4k words, last upd. 7/16 -> impatiently posted the bit of the fic I was working on cause I didn't have the beginning done, and then never went back to it (shocker) There has been some interest lately in an update so a new chapter will be on the way soon 👀 (and by soon I mean there is words on a doc but date unknown) Read it here on Ao3 or find it on Tumblr here

Out of my Ordinary:

Just Like The One I Used to Know: After Silver Lake, Ellie is not herself. Joel tries to change that

-> hurt/comfort but also fluff???, Joel gives Ellie a taste of Christmas and it's kinda sweet -> Complete ✅ , chapters --1, ~5k words -> It's a lil holiday one shot that was written for secret Santa, but also post ep 8 cause I can't help myself...but that's like not the main point at all Read it on Ao3 or here on Tumblr

This is the Best it Will Ever Be : the five day trek to the University before everything went to shit

-> fluff???, just Ellie and Joel riding around, a father - daughter duo -> in progress (but really basically abandoned, i'm sorry), chapters -- 1, ~5k words, last upd. 6/28 (rip) -> um yeah this was supposed to be five chapters, one for each day, but never got past day one so opps. Maybe one day this will be revived but that's not going to be anytime soon! Works as a one shot tho :) Read it exclusively on Ao3 .... cause I guess I never posted it over here (hehehe another oopps)

Whumptober:

Push through it : Ellie (and Joel) are struggling in the nourishment department post Silver Lake cause food is icky

-> Silver Lake one shot, but mainly whump, hurt/comfort/progress, tw for eating disorders (sorta kinda) -> Complete ✅, chapters -- 1, ~4k words -> PROMPT: no. 1, But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps” w/ Swooning & “How many fingers am I holding up?” -> Wrote this pretty much on my phone and haven't really looked at it since so beware of writing errors Read here on Ao3 or in full here on Tumblr

Dark as Space : Ellie's first time in the Hole back at FEDRA - nuff said

-> whump ofc, absolutely no comfort because this is the Hole, smol little Ellie and mean ole' FEDRA -> Complete ✅ , chapters -- 1, ~3k words -> PROMPT: no. 3, "Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon” w/ Solitary Confinement -> I got so hyped thinking about the idea for this one and then had no time to do it the justice it deserved, which is not a great sale tactic to you but oh well, give it a read cause its still depressing good stuff Read it here on Ao3 or stay on Tumblr and read here

It's the scars that had me wrong : Ellie tries to get rid of her scar a different way the first go around

-> whump w/ basically no comfort, Ellie hurting herself cause she's a poor tortured soul and doesn't want her scar, special guest appearance by Tommy -> Complete ✅ , chapters -- 1, ~4k words -> PROMPT: no. 27, “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.” w/ Scars & “Let me see” -> I wrote this in a day and Idk man just give it a read. TW: for Cutting/Self-Harm. Read it here on Ao3 or Tumblr here

YOU CAN LOOK HERE AT SOME OTHER WIPS THAT ARE ON MY COMP THAT HUANT ME

[mintblancmanche]

otonapre thoughts

i dont think i can actually have a fully realized opinion on this show until they show us coco and i can see what they have planned with him. because he was 75% of the reason why i hated the original show. and im so scared theyre gonna just make it Worse

as for what we got in the first episode. i enjoyed it! but also had very mixed feelings over all!!

i really liked nozomi in this. i think having her typical optimism and silliness and exuberance put in an adult context and slightly tempered by her maturity worked super well and really made her compelling and fleshed out to me here

i also found the stuff with her and divorce girl very very touching

the Global Warming Environmental theme is. unexpected?? i guess it is a pretty clever and unexpectedly Real way to expand upon the theme of hopelessness for the future. but also i feel like theres gonna be a bunch of Reducing Your Carbon Footprint is Your Personal Responsibility stuff.

i'll be honest if i may be a bit personal ive been struggling a bunch with depression and dread for the future so i think i am kinda in the prime State for this seasons overarching theme to hit Lol. i like the concept and have hopes for it

rin is unfortunately mid. which is par for the course lol. she still plays off nozomi well but i still have trouble caring that much about her personally, i did appreciate them let her be a jock, i honestly didnt expect them to lol

we dont get to see enough of the other cures for me to have much opinion of them yet. but we did see just enough milk to think she's awesome

kenta and yuuko's inclusion was. somewhat fun to me somewhat like, sad? mainly in ways i dont think the writers really thought that much about, kenta being the one character to not have his Dream Job in the original series + yuuko being kinda a Nagging Wife Character now. i like that he keeps his original va too though lol

KIRYUU CATGIRL STREAMERS is peak. justifies this series being precure canon on its own

theyre totally going to have them become teens when they transform and its gonna be so lame

papaya

[kitausu]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Hello and sorry for the 1 million year wait 😅 This is is no particular order!

Andrew Minyard

Coming in hot and number one. Andrew is my best beloved boy. I would walk over hot coals for him. I am just deeply deeply soft for an asshole with a heart of gold. To quote Kendrick Lamar, it's the "loyalty, loyalty, loyalty" for me.

2. Fitzchivalry Farseer

Sad boy. Baby. He's just so precious to me and I love him so very very much. He is King Emo. King Depression. King Repressed Bisexual.

3. Mickey Milkovich

See once again, asshole with a heart of gold AND King Repressed Homosexual. Even when terrified, Mickey will show up. He'll do what needs to be done, armed robbery, etc etc.

4. Kyo Sohma

The childhood NOSTALGIA. This man here is the blueprint. The OG. The man who won my heart as a little child and never left. Also see again, asshole with a heart of gold. I'm nothing if not consistent and predictable.

5. Kaladin Stormblessed

Sad boy baby number 2 except Kaladin is King Therapy. King get some fucking mental health treatment. King I love everyone around me SO MUCH that it makes me sad.

6. Ronan Lynch

God I'm so typical. What is wrong with me. Ronan for every reason I've said for asshole with a heart of gold but ALSO because anyone who has this line deserves my adoration: "Adam lived in an apartment located above the office of St. Agnes Catholic Church, a fortuitous combination that focused most of the objects of Ronan’s worship into one downtown block."

7. The Tenley Triad

Listen, I know they're three characters, but I can't differentiate. Shay is living my dream life, and River&Reese are my dream loves of my life. I can't help it.

8. Sophie Hatter

It's the sass, the independence, the fact that I want to be her all wrapped in one perfectly fantastic character.

9. Debbie Jelinsky

AN ICON. A TREASURE. May we all one day villain monologue the way Debbie can monologue about how much she hates Malibu Barbie.

10. Neil Josten

I did my best not to include two of a certain series here, but I cannot say "Like Neil Josten, I am a runner" as often as I do and not include him. Neil is peak "he's just like me" and I must own up to this.

[magnus-sm-writes]

My Writing Journey: Twelve (The Dark Times)

Twelve was a monumental year for me. It was when I first began to gain awareness of my gender (as in, I was living as the incorrect one). I was sad. So, so deeply sad it felt as though the shape of the world was different for me than it was everyone else, and I was living with heavier gravity than them. It was a rough year. Probably the worst I’ve ever had. All these new emotions made me miserable all the time. I joined Tumblr for the first time. Mind you, this was 2014, in peak Sad Tumblr Girl era, and boy was I.

On the bright side, I decided to put all of my pre-teen angst into a book. I’d done my typical thing of basing my characters off people I knew—kinda. I was making more of an effort to loosely base characters on people rather than doxx their entire personality. Growth!

This book, I decided, would be darkly funny. I had finished Good Omens and decided that I wanted to be as funny as Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett. I thought that I could be. Easily. That I could put all my emotions in one book, make it dark and funny and brilliant, and then people would finally understand me. I’d finally realized that I hadn’t been laughing with the other children; I’d been laughed at. And I was certain I could make them understand and love me.

I named it We’re All Dead After All after a misheard My Chemical Romance lyric. If you’ve been following me since I was using my old blog, lemon-writings, the name WADAA might be somewhat familiar with you. 

WADAA would be told from the perspective of Kam, a first-person narrator who was agender, scathing, and the twin of the protagonist, Vic. It would focus on Vic’s suicide and how everyone around him was deeply saddened by it.

Was I at all mature enough to write about topics like this? No. But I was hellbent on trying.

Kam was deeply depressed as well, but in a different way than Vic. I didn’t have the words to describe it then as I do now, but he definitely suffered from what we call Eldest Daughter Syndrome. He felt he had to fix everything about his brother, that the world rested on his shoulders. 

He was as much a way for me to explore my feelings as Vic was. Where Vic acted on those dark desires I would never bring myself to, Kam observed, and felt fully and completely helpless to do anything but. I was twelve. I didn’t know what I was doing, only that I wasn’t doing it as well as the others, and I fully believed the world was a bad and evil place where bad things happened to good people, and you just had to suffer. This was my most bleak and misanthropic.

Thinking about draft one of WADAA is enough to make me happy I am no longer in that headspace. This was a time in my life where I was certain I would not live to be a teen author, let alone an adult one. 

But I survived. And, miraculously, so did WADAA, though it’s taken many different forms over the ten years I’ve been writing it.

[haquyen23]

WEEK 7: Beauty Standard and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

Thanks to the expansion of social media platforms, Internet users frequently notice the presence of stunning celebrities, influencers, and models. This tendency results in flawless beauty standards, which vary by gender and nationality. Nonetheless, persons who want a flawless look are concerned with their digital image as well as criticism from others. In 2019, British fashion photographer Rankin shot 15 teens for a project called "Selfie Harm," in which he asked them to edit their photographs to make them "more social media-ready." (Germany, 2019). Even though most teens liked their raw photos, they all made the decision to alter their appearance digitally in order to appear on social media. Many drastically changed the shape of their noses, eyes, chins, lips, and/or skin, applied theatrical makeup, and smoothed out their skin to the point that they became unrecognisable, even funny (Germany, 2019). This poll provides evidence for the digital perfectionism that leads Internet users to associate cyberspace with a certain level of beauty.

However, these beauty standards, which are formed from the expectation of society, have had a greater impact on people suffering from BDD.

First of all, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is defined as "a relatively common disorder that consists of a distressing or impairing preoccupation with imagined or slight defects in appearance" by the National Library of Medicine (Bjornsson et al., 2010). BDD is frequently thought to be the outcome of viewing social media's "perfect bodies" and establishing a standard of attractiveness based on those images in this digital age. Patients typically aren't aware of their depression since BDD develops over a lengthy period of time and builds up gradually. 

BDD has a number of negative effects on people and society, such as psychopathology, sadness, and even suicide thoughts.In a poll, 12% of plastic surgeons said that a displeased BDD patient had physically threatened them (Bjornsson et al., 2010). It seems as though there is an all-time peak in suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and completed suicides. It is estimated that about 25% of those with BDD have tried suicide and that 80% of those with BDD have either had or are now experiencing suicidal thoughts (Bjornsson et al., 2010) 

A solution seems to be more positive for BDD is that many individuals who were experiencing psychological problems decided to have plastic surgery to correct their flaws. Even still, people continue to have dissatisfaction with their cosmetic procedures, which makes them angry or even violent.

Generally, due to beauty standards in this digital age, the effects of BDD on a person's life are profound as it shapes and even regulates how its sufferers view their looks.

References:

Bjornsson, A. S., Didie, E. R., & Phillips, K. A. (2010). Body dysmorphic disorder. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 12(2), 221–232. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.31887/DCNS.2010.12.2/abjornsson

Germany, J. (2019). Combating “Social Media Dysmorphia” | Rush System. Www.rush.edu. https://www.rush.edu/news/combating-social-media-dysmorphia

Nicewicz, H. R., & Boutrouille, J. F. (2022, September 28). Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD, Dysmorphobia, Dysmorphic Syndrome). PubMed; StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK555901/

[mentalhealthquestions]

Vitamin D: The Mood-Lifting Sunshine Nutrient

In the quest for well-being, there's a remarkable nutrient that has the power to brighten our days and elevate our spirits. It's vitamin D, aptly named the "sunshine vitamin." As we delve into the fascinating world of this nutrient, we'll uncover its profound influence on our mood and why it's essential for maintaining a sunny disposition.

The Radiant Role of Vitamin D

Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin, but it's more than just a dietary component; it's a mood-lifting powerhouse. Often referred to as the "sunshine vitamin," vitamin D is unique because our bodies can produce it when our skin is exposed to sunlight.

Sunshine Synthesis: Nature's Marvel

The journey of vitamin D production begins with a sunlit encounter:

Skin's Sun-Kissed Chemistry: Our skin houses a precursor molecule called 7-dehydrocholesterol. When exposed to sunlight, particularly ultraviolet B (UVB) rays, this molecule undergoes a magical transformation.

The Birth of Vitamin D: UVB rays spark a remarkable chain reaction, converting 7-dehydrocholesterol into cholecalciferol, the inactive form of vitamin D3. But the story doesn't end here.

Biological Alchemy: Cholecalciferol embarks on an extraordinary voyage, traveling first to the liver and then to the kidneys, where it undergoes a transformation into its active form, calcitriol. This activated vitamin D is a true mood-lifter.

The Sun's Gift to Your Mood

Vitamin D isn't just a nutrient; it's a sunshine-infused elixir that can have a profound impact on your mood:

Mood Regulation: Emerging research suggests a strong connection between vitamin D levels and mood regulation. Maintaining adequate vitamin D levels may contribute to a more positive outlook and reduce the risk of mood disorders like depression.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): SAD is a type of depression that typically occurs during the fall and winter months when sunlight exposure is reduced. It's believed that the lack of sunlight and, consequently, lower vitamin D levels play a role in SAD. Ensuring sufficient vitamin D intake can help mitigate its effects.

Cognitive Health: Some studies indicate that vitamin D may also be linked to cognitive health and a reduced risk of cognitive decline as we age.

Nurturing Your Sunshine Vitamin for a Sunny Disposition

Ensuring you have enough vitamin D to brighten your mood involves several strategies:

Sunlight Exposure: Aim for 10-30 minutes of skin exposure to sunlight, 2-3 times a week, especially around midday when UVB rays are at their peak.

Dietary Delights: Incorporate vitamin D-rich foods into your diet, including fatty fish (like salmon, mackerel, and trout), egg yolks, and fortified dairy and plant-based products.

Supplements: For those with limited sun exposure or specific health concerns, vitamin D supplements can help fill the gap. Consult with a healthcare professional for the right dosage.

Conclusion: Let the Sunshine Vitamin Brighten Your Mood

Vitamin D, the "sunshine vitamin," is a testament to the intricate relationship between our bodies and the world around us. It's not just a nutrient; it's a natural mood booster, a gift from the sun that can help lift your spirits and promote overall well-being.

So, as you bask in the warmth of the sun's embrace, remember that you're not merely soaking up rays; you're harnessing the mood-lifting power of vitamin D, allowing the sunshine nutrient to illuminate your path towards a brighter, more positive outlook on life.

[gyujeongfmd]

end the year blues — headcanon, aesthetic & playlist

summary — winter brings earlier nights, and that’s where he inevitably ends up dwelling in the end of the year. the end of the year’s always the hardest and loneliest for gyujeong, despite being the period where he’s the busiest career wise. the paradox brings this familiar melancholic feeling he can’t shake out, and it bleeds into the spring until the weather pulls and flowers start to bloom. winter time blue, seasonal depression — call it what you will, but it’s something that causes late night walks, feeling cold and then finally passing out until the sun rises and it’s time to repeat. playlist summary — end of the year also accounts for more music than usual. his earphones in his ears as he nods off to and from late night schedules, and even during it. the weather calls for some typical winter songs, and the peak of the ballad, slow-music beating through the speakers. beats will fall through from the time he wakes up till he falls asleep as he calls this his “white noise” getting him through the winter drought. perhaps, maybe in some warped world, he’d be listening to happier music getting ready to look forward to what’s to come in 2023 (but that’s not necessarily the case here). wc: 483

1. wine — suji (태연) 2. 나의 모든 날 (all my days) — kim sejeong (김세정) 3. 다시 난, 여기 (here i am again)—baek yerin (백예린) 4. meant to be — baek yerin (백예린) 5. for you — lee hi, crush (이하이 크러쉬) 6. 이번 겨울 (this winter) — kwon jin ah (권진아) 7. always remember us this way — lady gaga 8. 아마도 그건 (perhaps that was love)— 하림 (hareem) 9. come out and play — billie eilish 10. 나랑 갈래 (go with me) —  곽진언 (kwak jin eon)

i’m aware that this playlist sounds / feels a lot more like minjung than gyujeong, but wintertime gyujeong is pretty similar to baseline minjung — aside from the fact that gyu’s probably a bit more sadder? melancholic? in general during this time

it’s less about sad boy hours, and more about just wallowing in wasted time. time feels wasted despite being busy. there’s staff around him constantly, but that sort of crowd just makes the sound feel more deafening to the point where his own voice feels empty

as a result, he’s reverted to just popping in his headphones and drowning out his own misery through the sounds of sad sounding music / crooning ballads

which, normally, he won’t listen to ballads but tis the season! people might be listening to jellyfish’s christmas song, or ariana grande, but gyu won’t budge and he’ll probably even be listening to these songs on christmas night

the thing about this music is that it makes time feel like it’s at a standstill despite it passing, and by now, he just uses it as the soundtrack to his life. meaning: when he wakes up, the playlist is played. and before he goes to sleep, he hits play to listen to it as he falls asleep

though gyu isn’t really a drinker, this is probably his most “experimental” era when it comes to taking a sip of beer or drinking wine. it obviously doesn’t end well because he ends up blacking out because of it, but regardless, he tries because it “fits” the mood.

if not, he spends his nights on walks where he’ll take walks in the cold dead of night when no ones around. basically, music in and he starts walking across hangang until his legs feel too frozen to move any further ,which then becomes his cue to go home.

other times, he’ll ride his bike around — for some reason, he doesn’t like to go on drives during the winter season. there’s no driving around, and more just walking or taking a bike to waste time and drown out feelings of bitter loneliness lmao

but that’s only when he has the time? mainly, end of the year causes really busy schedules for him because of award shows / comebacks that platinum has. thus, he really just gets transported by his manager and free time becomes a luxury (another paradox i know)

again, not really sad boy? but i would just reference winter gyu as an emo kid who says “this isn’t a phase”

less social and less likely to make friends, but if you’re persistent, it’s pretty easy to get him to come out and have a conversation. the initial encounter is the only portion that’s rough though, so someone become his friend during this time : ) he probably needs it

overall, winter gyu is just gloomy. that’s probably the best way to describe him. less angry, and more gloomy.