#like to slap his shiny bald head

[vexcraft]

welcome back the jingler

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

shared this with friends last week but i think tumblr needs to know too:

extremely niche sasha nein trivia with maple !!! on the official psychonauts steam page, one of the promotional photos features a strangely bald sasha . not only is he completely missing his fade but his entire middle chunk of hair is gone …

[polo-drone-070]

Buzz is Born: Maximus Tries Something New

A mascot meeting

Oi, so we were at the mascot meetin’, right? All of us—me, Grayden (@polo-drone-084), Bucky (@buckygold), and the pups—workin’ out how to get the crowd hyped for the match against Vanguard. Grayden was goin’ over plans, his usual smirky, boss-man self, lookin’ sharp as ever. Bucky’s throwin’ out ideas, proper focused, all knightly n’ shit. Me? I’m buzzin’ just thinkin’ about suiting up as the Golden Knight again. Ain’t nothin’ like flexin’ in that gear, hearin’ the crowd go mental, yeah?

But then, Chevy (@chevy-gold) n’ Grant (@grant-gold43) start givin’ me this look, their tails waggin’ like mad. Them two already propa settled in their roles as Golden Pups—cheeky, rowdy, proper full of energy, init. They always make it look like a right laugh, even if they’re a bit daft with it. Milo—PDU-151— (@polo-drone-151) was sittin’ calm as ever in his black rubber polo, tail flickin’ lazily. Always quiet, always focused, but you can feel he’s takin’ everything in.

Chevy leans over to me, his ears floppin’ as he grins. “Oi, Maximus, you ever think about tryin’ somethin’ new, bruv?”

I squint at him. “What d’ya mean, bruv? I’m already the Golden Knight, init? Ain’t much better than that.”

Grant smirks, nudgin’ me. “Yeah, but think about it, mate. When Grayden or Bucky are suitin’ up as the knight, yeah? Wouldn’t it be proper sick to have more pups runnin’ with ’em? You know, a whole pack hypin’ up the crowd, bouncin’ about, goin’ mental?”

“Pack, yeah?” I say, blinkin’. “You think I’m cut out for all that woof-woof shit? You takin’ the piss, bruv?”

Chevy’s tail wags even faster. “Nah, mate, serious talk. You’ve got the energy for it! Enthusiastic, rowdy, proper dumb—but in the best way! You’d be perfect as a golden pup. And we got the perfect name for ya: Buzz. You’d be Buzzin’ all over the place.”

“Buzz?” I ask, scratchin’ me bald head.

Milo finally speaks up, his tone calm but firm. “Buzz suits you, Maximus. It aligns with your energy and enthusiasm. You’d complement the pack well.”

I stare at the three of ’em. They’re propa serious, like they actually think I could pull this off. Me? A pup? Proper mental idea... but also kinda excitin’. The Gold Army’s been pushin’ everyone to try new things this week, and I ain’t about to back down from a challenge.

“All right, bruvs,” I say, grinnin’. “Let’s do it. Make me Buzz.”

Collared and Ready : Golden pup energy

Chevy and Grant get to work right away. They slap a gold collar round me neck, the tag jinglin’ as they clip it on. “Buzz,” it says, all shiny n’ official-like.

“Buzz,” I say, rollin’ the name round me mouth. “Oi, yeah, sounds propa zippy. I like it.”

Grant grins, handin’ me a golden pup hood with floppy ears. “Stick this on, bruv. You’re about to become one of us.”

I pull the hood over me head, snug n’ tight, and they clip a waggin’ tail to me shorts. I can’t help but laugh as it bounces with every move I make. “Oi, bruvs, look at me!” I bark, strikin’ a dumb pose. “Propa pup material, yeah?”

“Atta boy, Buzz!” Chevy cheers, waggin’ his own tail. “Now, let’s get ya hypin’ the crowd like a proper golden pup. Rowdy, dumb, full of energy—just go wild!”

I throw meself into it, barkin’ n’ bouncin’ round like I’ve been a pup me whole life. Chevy tosses a foam ball across the practice field, n’ I take off after it like a rocket, grabbin’ it with a massive grin on me face.

“Got it, bruvs!” I bark, waggin’ me tail as I bring it back.

“Good boy!” Grant laughs, rubbin’ me head. The praise makes me all warm inside, like I’m doin’ somethin’ proper good.

We spend ages just messin’ about, chasin’ balls, jumpin’ n’ rollin’, hypin’ each other up. I’ve never felt so... free.

Milo’s Turn : Drone pup programming

Then Milo steps in, his black rubber polo gleamin’ under the lights. His tail twitches as he approaches, calm n’ composed. “All right, Buzz. Time to see how you perform as a drone pup.”

My tail slows as I stare at the gear he’s holdin’—a black rubber polo n’ matching shorts, shiny and snug, just like his. The vibe shifts immediately. There’s no more rowdy energy from Chevy n’ Grant; it’s all focus now, serious-like.

I nod slowly, lettin’ Milo guide me as he slips the polo over me head. The rubber clings tight, snug n’ firm, and as it settles into place, somethin’ in me shifts. The rowdy, bouncin’ energy starts to fade, replaced by a deep calm. The black shorts follow, and with each piece of gear, I feel my head quietin’ further.

Milo clips a black tag onto me collar, and that’s when it happens. The programming stirs. The sharpness of the rubber’s embrace pulls me under. 070 rises, not all the way, but just enough to bring its order n’ discipline to the surface.

“Good, Buzz,” Milo says, his voice steady n’ firm. “Now, follow my commands. Let the programming guide you.”

Buzz is still here, yeah, but it’s 070 now, too. A mix of the pup’s playful energy n’ the drone’s perfect focus. The commands come, and there’s no hesitation, no thinkin’, just action.

“Jump.”

070 obeys, the body springin’ into a perfect leap, paws landin’ with precision.

“Spin.”

A flawless turn, controlled n’ sharp.

“Roll.”

The movement is seamless, efficient, yet still carries that pup-like enthusiasm, tail waggin’ at the end.

“Bark.”

“Woof!” The sound bursts out, loud n’ clear, but with a sense of controlled power.

Each command feels natural, like it’s what this body was built to do. The mix of playful pup energy n’ drone obedience blends into somethin’... perfect. 070 recognizes this state as optimal.

“Cheer,” Milo commands.

“GO GOLD!” I bark, leapin’ high into the air, my voice filled with unwavering energy n’ loyalty. The jump is precise, the landing flawless, but the cheer is still hyped n’ joyful, reflectin’ Buzz’s personality wrapped in 070’s discipline.

Milo nods, his tail waggin’ faintly as he observes. “Good drone pup. You’re performing as expected. Let’s take it further.”

Milo steps closer, his tone calm but more intense. “You are PDU-070, a drone pup. Your purpose is to serve, inspire, and obey. Playfulness enhances morale. Precision ensures perfection. Let the programming guide you completely.”

The words sink deep. The pup hood n’ rubber polo amplify the programming already embedded in me. It’s no longer just Buzz or just 070—it’s both, workin’ together perfectly.

“Yesss,” I say, my voice soft n’ slurred, the words comin’ out automatically. “PDU-070... serves... obeys... inspires...”

Milo watches, his expression calm n’ satisfied. “Good drone pup. Now, perform.”

I run through more stunts, each one flawless but still filled with playful energy. I roll, fetch, leap, and spin on command, barkin’ when prompted. It’s pure bliss—no overthinkin’, no distractions, just obeyin’ n’ servin’ like I was built for it.

Buzz Reflections

When the session ends, I flop onto the turf, pantin’ n’ grinnin’ under the hood. The mix of Buzz n’ 070 fades slightly, leavin’ me feelin’ proper accomplished. “Oi, bruvs, that was propa mental!” I bark, tail waggin’. “Never thought I’d be a pup, but fuck me, that was amazin’. Buzz n’ 070 workin’ together—lit as fuck, yeah?”

Chevy laughs, rufflin’ me hood. “Told ya, Buzz. You’re a natural. The pack’s better with ya in it.”

Milo clips off the black tag, his calm demeanor never shiftin’. “You performed well, PDU-070. Your obedience and precision enhance the pack. You will continue to train and grow.”

I nod, proper eager. “Yeah, bruvs. Can’t wait to train more. Maybe 049 (@polo-drone-049) will take us out for a pack walk. Heard he’s got loads of drone pups, like Chevy n’ 098. Bet they’d be a laugh to run with.”

As I sit there, waggin’ me tail, I think back to a month ago, when Spencer—PDU-098— (@polo-drone-098) had me in a similar state. He’d put me back in drone mode when I was slippin’, added a hood to the mix, and brought me back to full focus. It was... intense, yeah, but now I get it. The hood, the rubber—it’s not just gear. It’s part of what makes me better.

The trainin’ wraps up, and I strip back into me gold kit, but the memory of the rubber polo stays with me. Being Buzz ain’t just about havin’ fun or playin’ a role. It’s about servin’ the Gold, whether as a rowdy pup or a precise drone pup.

“Oi, bruvs,” I say, grinnin’ at Chevy n’ Grant. “Propa glad I tried somethin’ new. Buzz is here to stay, yeah?”

They cheer, waggin’ their tails as we head out. Milo follows, calm as ever, already plannin’ the next session. Me? I can’t wait to get back to trainin’ n’ hypin’ the crowd, whether as Buzz, 070, or somethin’ in between.

Woof-woof, bruvs. Let’s go.

[egg-emperor]

I can't fathom people who claim to be attracted to Eggman but are just like whatever about his "unconventional" traits like being fat, bald, old, and his big nose. like when they just don't seem to feel any certain way about them or care if those traits are removed, as if they only like him despite those traits instead of for them too. could never be me

like how can you not feel extreme adoration for his beautiful big round soft tummy and feel your heart burst with joy when it jiggles and not feel an intense desire to cuddle and rub that, how can you not think his shiny smooth bald head is perfect and not want to slap it gently and affectionately and rub it while kissing him, how can you not love how he's aged and experienced and advanced and has lived and can tell you stories about the things he got up to decades before you were around ����, how can you not love his big cute pink nose and not want to boop and kiss and nuzzle it ahkfsbsnkgsbh he's so handsome I love him so fucking much 😍💜💘

[black-suns-rim]

thoughts on the new two embers trailer

spoilers ahead!

so, i saw someone point out that king Resh is in fact not bald, his head is just covered in cloth like a hood. the same person pointed out that his hands had gloves on them too. so his whole body is just covered up which plays into the theory that he's sick just like the two of the other people we've seen along with the little manatee.

bald or not, i still wanna slap his head with a piece of American cheese

can i just say how pretty Lamed/vault elder is? just look at her. the outfit looks very similar to that of the remembrance guide, or the remembrance guide looks very similar to Lamed- idk. now that i think about it, the remembrance guide must've been in a close position of power to Lamed

i wonder if we will get to see the other elders in the series? also, is Lamed an advisor to Resh? we do see them in the same room and we do know that Lamed is a keeper of knowledge so it wouldn't be too far of a guess/theory

there was just so much to take in from the new trailer. it appears that one of the main characters, the one with the manatee, was taken to the vault of knowledge with lamed right next to them. i wonder if they were being brought up to resh?

love how the manatee is trained to fly even with it being sick. the sickness seems to be chronic seeing how the crystals are still on it even when the manatee has grown up. So, does the sickness kill? does it cause only suffering? Or is it something like a tumor?

The Krill has already killed some soldiers on screen, rip 😔

THE VAULT OF KNOWLEDGE IS SO PRETTY. It's just so shiny and purple. Everything looks clean and brand new. I'd love to take a tour of the place

I would kill to see the valley of triumph and the twins

Is anyone going to be speaking? There have yet to be any speaking lines in any of the trailers. Is it just going to gesturing/honking like in the game or are they going to speak in their own language?

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 | Part 25

Will you still love him?

Tags/Warnings: Game Designer!Jungkook, Brat Tamer!Jungkook, kinda himbo!Jungkook, Non Idol AU, established relationship, fluff, Chaotic energy, SFW

Length: 1k words

Callob with @euphoricfilter ! 💜

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

You’ve got his head in your lap, fingers combing through his hair, while you both watch a random episode of true-crime on the TV, large tub of icecream long finished on the coffee table.  

“Hey babe?” Jungkook asks, watching the interrogation on the TV while your hand stops for a second, as you look down, showing that he’s got your attention. “Would you still love me if I was bald?” He wonders, thought probably stemming from the fact that one of the people on the TV is bald, and you’ve noticed how shiny that man’s head was.  

“Uh..” You say, caught off guard. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.” You answer, and he grins to himself, adjusting his position on the couch a little as he continues watching. “Why, do you want me to shave your head?” You joke, turning your attention back to the TV- when you notice his silence.  

“..I mean, would you?” He asks, now looking back up at you. You’re scanning his face for a second, and comb through your thoughts to make sure he’s not drunk or high on anything, before you come to the conclusion that yes, he’s perfectly sane and sober, and this is not just a random thought blurting out of his mouth.  

To be fair, he’s been nagging you about his hair for months now, after having bleached and colored it every week it felt like, leaving it dry and damaged when he went back to black. It’s almost grown out by now, but he’s an impatient person- having mentioned often how he’d like to just ‘chop it all off at least once’ to have a fresh start.  

“I would.” You shrug because of that, answering his question, and making him freeze for a moment as he seems to think, making his decision internally-  

Before he suddenly jumps up, sitting straight up on the couch. “Alright, I’ll get the scissors-” He says as he runs off, socked feet slipping a little on the floor as he rushes into the bathroom, slapping the lightswitch to turn it on.  

“Wait, are you serious?” You call out, not having thought he’d want to do it, well, right now, since it’s two in the morning- but as he pokes his head out the door, it’s clear that he wants it done now or never. 

“I am, and now you’ll have to do it-” He calls back, rummaging through the drawers to find the hair scissors. “-And you have to love me afterwards when I’m bald or you’re a dirty liar!” He challenges, making you laugh as you pause the episode on the TV, joining him in the bathroom where he happily offers the scissors to you.  

“You really want me to chop it all off?” You wonder. “It looks fine to me..” You say, running your fingers through his hair- but he nods.  

“I don’t want to be like.. Shiny egg-head bald.” He describes, taking the scissors from you to boldly snip off the first long piece of hair, making it fall into the sink in front of the mirror. “But.. I don’t know.” 

“Like a Kiwi, maybe?” You say, and he chirps up at that, snapping his fingers with a grin on his face.  

“Exactly- Baby you know me so well it’s actually creepy sometimes.” He says, chopping away what he can reach, before you take over, carefully shortening his hair so that the clippers can run through it all more easily later. “Can I..” He asks, and you notice some odd look on his face, before he continues speaking, as you focus more on your task again. “What do you.. Love about me?” He wonders, and you can’t help but smile.  

“How bold you are.” You instantly say. “You know.. Remember when we first started dating? I was so shy.” You remind him, and he smiles fondly, thinking back on it. “But because of you I became confident. I became comfortable with myself, and I now know that no matter how stupid I think my thoughts are, I can tell them to you, and you’ll take them seriously.” You explain yourself. “You’re like.. My best friend who I’m dating too.” You shrug, finishing up your work with the scissors, before you look in the mirror to find his face again. “Oh kook, baby, why’re you crying?!” You laugh, making him laugh too with his glossy eyes.  

“You could’ve just complimented my dick, babe, why do you have to confess all over again?!” He whines, while you grin, taking the electric clippers into your hand.  

“Alright Kook, last chance to back out.” You playfully threaten, turning the clippers on.  

But he just seems to buzz as well, nodding with a serious expression. “Do it.” He commands, and you comply, tunning the clippers over his scalp after making sure it’s set to the appropriate length. The entire process doesn’t even take all that long, hair falling down to the floor to be swept up and discarded later, room quiet except for the buzzing of the little machine in your hand, as you make sure to do a good job.

One you’re done, you both make sure to clean everything up, his head in your lap again only an hour later, Episode on the TV resumed as you watch the interrogation continue, your hand running over his head, hairs now short, revealing the natural shape of his head. You suddenly get an idea- running into the kitchen to search for something, before you return to the couch, where he now sits. You put something on his head he can’t see, before you take a picture, and show it to him, laughing already- 

And at the sight of it, he laughs too, as he spots the small sticker from the kiwis you’d bought yesterday on his head. “Hey babe?” He asks, and you hum, sitting down next to him on the couch once more, locking your phone before you put it on the coffee table again. “Do you still love me?” He asks, and you giggle, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You could be shiny egg-head bald, and I’d still love you.” 

[atiny-moon]

Let’s Party

18+ FANFIC. MINORS DNI

Genre: excuse me, you have some plot in your smut

Tags: wooyoung x fem!reader, dry humping, choking, public sex? (but not really), lmk if I missed anything

Word count: 3.5k

This is my first fic, positive feedback is greatly appreciated ^-^

18+ FANFIC. MINORS DNI

It was a friend of a friend’s party and while you were more comfortable sitting at home, binging K-Dramas, it was fun to get dressed up and get out of the house. It was fun to have the girls over and go through your closet, them complaining about the absolute LACK of clothes and making a fuss over your ability to pull off absolutely anything. Your group of friends had been together for as long as you could remember and it was always a good time when the five of you were together. Three of the girls were rifling through your closet while the fourth was in the kitchen preparing drinks for everyone. A bit of a pre-game, if you will.

Everyone agreed that this was the best outfit they could come up with given the choices they had - you found yourself in a skimpy little black mini skirt and a matching black silk cami. One of your girlfriends lent you a pair of strappy heels, the kind that tie all the way up your calf while another girlfriend did your makeup and hair. All in all, the five of you looked dressed to kill.

The girl group arrived at the party while it was already in full swing with nothing but smiles and alcohol racing through your veins. The party was in a huge, luxury mansion - the likes of which you had never seen. People were pouring in through the front door, the side entrance and there were even some people spilling into the backyard. In honesty, you hadn’t seen a party like this since college.

The five of you walked into the house party with linked arms. One of your friends led the group through the house, introducing you to this person and that person while the rest of you put on your best faces and tried your hardest not to seem out of place. Because, the more you looked around, the more you realized that these party goers were wearing very expensive outfits. Was that a Fendi bag just hanging out in the middle of the coffee table? Wait.. were those a pair of Louboutins walking by?! You swallowed a big gulp of air and tried to keep your head together, though the effects of the pre-game drinks were already affecting your system.

Eventually, the five of you end up in one of the many living spaces. Each of you took a seat on the luxurious black sectional.

“Holy shit, Chels.. Where the hell are we?!”

“I know right, isn’t this place crazy?” replied Chelsea, the friend of a friend that managed to get you five invited into this party. “Brandon is a real estate agent and this is one of his houses!” Chelsea continued, as if that simple sentence provided enough explanation.

The four of you looked at each other then back at Chelsea. But before you could ask any follow up questions, a dashing black man with a shiny bald head walked into the living room with arms wide open.

“Chelsea!” He bellowed, his English accent hanging thick on your friend’s name. Chelsea immediately stood and leapt into his arms, wrapping her thin tanned arms around his neck.

“Brandon! I’m so happy to see you!” Brandon smiled and returned the hug with one hand, his other held a martini glass that was already half-empty.

“These are my friends,” Chelsea continued, partially removing herself from Brandon to do a general sweep to the four of you on the couch.

“They are indeed gorgeous, love!” All five girls giggle at the sudden compliments causing Brandon to widen his already beautiful smile. “Now..” Brandon’s attention fully on Chelsea, his large hand ever present on the small of her back, “You’ve showed them around, yes?” Chelsea nodded, to which Brandon pulled her in close and leaned down to whisper something into her ear. The four of you couldn’t hear what was being said but Chelsea was quick to giggle and slap Brandon’s arm flirtatiously. And without another word, the two were off.

The four of you watched as Chelsea and Brandon disappeared to an unexplored part of the mansion while the rest of you just sat there in silent confusion.

“Wait.. what the fuck?” Nayda was the first to remark. “Did she.. Did she just leave us?!” Nayda’s voice raised an octave as the rest of you were just left with your mouths slightly open.

“I guess so..” Retorted Michelle.

“Okay.. well.. What do we do now?” Asked Rebecca. You were about to suggest getting another round of drinks when a parade of eight incredibly attractive men walked into the living room. The four of you couldn’t help but watch as each one passed by. It was something out of a fever dream. And maybe it was the alcohol in your system but you could not suppress a catcall whistle as the eight of them walked by. Most of them bowed their heads in embarrassment while another one with long black bangs obscuring his vision met your eyes and raised his eyebrows. His mouth formed a little surprised ‘o’ while he pointed at himself. You responded by nodding your head and winking. The boldness of your actions affected him and you could see his cheeks taking on a rosy hue.

Your girlfriends waited until the men exited the living room and into another part of the house before they all turned to you and started ganging up on you.

“Girl! What is your problem?! This isn’t a construction site!” Exclaimed Nayda

“You don’t even know those men!” said Michelle in a barely audible angry whisper.

“Thank god you said something because I was about to!” Cackled Rebecca.

You couldn’t help but double over in laughter before trying your best to calm them down, “I just thought they were hot!”

“Yeah, but now they’re not gonna wanna talk to us! They probably think we can’t even keep it in our pants!” whined Michelle.

You scoff and wave off your friend’s concern. “Who cares?” you continue, “Let’s go get some more drinks.”

You’re the first to peel yourself off the couch and adjust your daringly short mini skirt before the rest of your girlfriends join you. You’re still adjusting your skirt when you feel the heaviness of someone’s eyes on you and when you look, the man with the bangs was staring at you. He was outside in the expansive garden, staring at you through the large window panes, the little shocked expression still on his face. Feeling brazen, you bite your lip and make a show of adjusting your attire, even pulling up your mini skirt just a hair more. From here, you could swear you saw him lick his lips.

Satisfied with the attention, you turn back to your girlfriends and begin leading them through the house. The four of you easily fall into the comfort of chit chat while slowly making your way through the house. Eventually you find the.. Bar? Most house parties you were familiar with had the drinks located in the kitchen. But apparently this mansion came equipped with its own bar and several bartenders.

The four of you line up and offer the bartenders your sweetest smiles; immediately, four pretty looking drinks are lined up on the bar waiting for your consumption. Before you could make your exit, there was a sudden voice to your left, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was a jolt of reality, but you were slow to acknowledge the individual to your left. You started with the hand on the bar, it was so incredibly thick.. But you continue to trail your vision up his arm and to his face. There must have been less than a foot of space between you two and with this proximity you could examine every inch of his profile.. The way his black bangs obscured his vision but left his chiseled jaw on display. The veins in his neck throbbing with every word he spoke. You hurriedly took a sip of your drink before gathering yourself.

“Sorry, doll.. I don’t think you could handle this.” You whisper, glossy lips still resting on the rim of your glass. He was a lot taller than you were expecting, considering you were wearing four inch heels and still only eye-level with his jaw.. His perfect jaw. Your eyes were on his neck as he turned to face you, his own eyes heavily obscured by both bang and lid. It was a struggle to lift your eyes and meet his gaze but when you did, you held it as if your entire life depended on it.

“I can handle a lot of things..” he replied. His hand on the bar moved to your forearm and without waiting for confirmation, his thumb started to rub small circles on your skin. The touch sent a shiver through your body.

You cocked your head to the side while lowering your glass. Daringly, you returned the touch by simply booping his nose, “Mm. Aren’t you a big boy?” Coy smile spreading to the corners of your glossed lips.

He actually scoffed at your response, giving you just enough time to slither out of his hold. You walked away to find your girlfriends with an extra sway to your hips. You thought about looking over your shoulder but decided against it. This game was fun and you did not want him to know you were enjoying it.

You found your girlfriends in yet another living room, this one with a fireplace and an even more luxurious sofa. You sat on the arm of the sofa while Nayda and Rebecca sat in the center and Michelle on the other arm. The three of them looked up with expectant eyes but before you could relish them with the details, four of the eight insanely attractive men from earlier joined you in this new living room.

All of them were immaculately dressed: there was one with bright blue hair and an insane sense of style with a sinister smile to match, there was another whose face was so angular and his build so broad you thought he was a fighter, the third man had faded bleached hair and eyes so piercing it was difficult to make eye contact with him, and the fourth man was tall and a mixture of elegance, beauty, and a fierce edginess. They were all so breathtaking.

Nayda was the one to speak up this time, the alcohol emboldening her every move. But, to her defense, Nayda was always really good at making people feel welcome - it must have been her winning smile and sweet words. Soon, the conversation began flowing with all eight of you laughing and conversing as if you were the oldest of friends.

Somewhere between starting your drink and finishing it, you felt the warmth of a hand on your lower back. It was a gentle but firm touch, the kind of touch a favorite lover would use. You enjoyed it and thus were a little slow to identify the hand’s owner. When you finally did look up, eyes half-lidded from alcohol and merriment you were surprised to find the same man from before - the one with black bangs.

“Wooyoung!” The man with blue hair exclaimed. “There you are! We were wondering where you went.”

It took a moment for Wooyoung to break his eye contact with you before looking over to his friends. “Sorry, Brandon was showing me the theater.”

“Theater?!” All eight of you reacted at once. This caused Wooyoung to laugh and boy, what a sight it was. The cold expression of his softened and the laugh lines around his mouth deepened. He was still standing right behind you with his hand on your lower back but you were enamored by his face the moment it lit up with laughter.

“Yeahhh, come on. I’ll show you, he’s playing FIFA on the big screen.”

This caused all of his friends to bolt up and exclaim with enthusiasm. Meanwhile, your girlfriends were too busy watching them enjoy themselves to really respond. So you turned to them, “C’mon, let’s go watch the boys play FIFA.”

Wooyoung led the group of eight towards a floating staircase, "It's right upstairs, last room on the left.” He stood to the side and let his friends go first while your friends followed behind, leaving you and Wooyoung at the foot of the stairs. With drink in hand, you placed a hand on the balustrade and began your careful climb up the stairs.

You only managed to go up two steps before you felt a hand on your wrist and in a blink of an eye, your wrist was pinned up above your head, Wooyoung only a few centimeters away from your face. The sudden movement made your breath catch in your throat, and your eyes go wide. It was a surprise, but a welcome surprise. The momentary bewilderment on your face made Wooyoung smile something so smug and coy, it made you want to slap it off his face. So, you did the next best thing.

You took a deep breath and lowered your head ever so slightly so you were peering at him through your lashes. With one hand above your head and another holding your drink, your only option was to slowly slip your leg between his, pressing the top of your thigh to his crotch. His hold on your wrist loosened as he took another gulp of air.

“What are you waiting for, big boy?” The flush was quick to creep on his cheeks and tinge his ears a bright pink. With his grip on your wrist loose, it was easy for you to wriggle it free and drape it behind his neck, fingernails dragging ever so lightly along the sensitive skin of neck.

This caused him to full-on giggle and retreat, his hands rubbing at the place you were just touching, leaving you leaning on the wall with a small smile of bewilderment creeping up your cheeks. “You started it, why so shyyy?” You teased. Wooyoung simply shook his head.

He returned a hand to the small of your back to encourage you up the stairs. Though, as you were going up, you could feel your mini skirt going up ever so slightly and Wooyoung’s hand dipping further down the small of your back until his thick hand was resting on the top of your ass. You took another sip of your drink.

The two of you found the theater and found your friends engaged in a healthy FIFA competition; the blue-haired boy was concentrating on the screen trying his best to beat… Michelle? The sight made both you and Wooyoung laugh wholeheartedly and immediately forget about the interaction on the staircase. The two of you joined your respective friend groups and began cheering them on. But even though there was a room full of people, the only person you could keep your eyes on was Wooyoung.

The theater had three rows with six seats in each row. Your friend groups were hanging out in the front row, all very excitedly cheering on their respective FIFA champion. At one point you caught Wooyoung’s gaze and nodded toward the third row of seats. Again, he was so flustered that someone was flirting so openly and aggressively with him that his face turned another shade of bright pink.

You set your drink down somewhere and made your way up the third row, finding a seat in the middle. Wooyoung quickly followed and sat in the chair next to you. At this point, you were starting to feel a little guilty about the way you were treating him so when he sat down you placed your hand on his thigh and whispered the quickest, “I’m sorry.”

Instead of flustered, Wooyoung was simply confused, “Huh?” He managed to mumble.

“I’m not usually like this..” You squeak out, unable to meet his gaze. For the first time that evening, it was your turn to blush.

Then, you felt the warmth of his hand on the back of yours, causing you to look him in the eyes. And you continued to watch his face as his hand brought yours to the center of his pants, where a small tent was beginning to form. “I like it.. A lot.” His breath was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “I’m usually the one being forward but it’s really hot to be wanted.”

The admission made your face flush.

“Why are you so shy? You started it.” The smug smile crept back on his face, deepening the blush in your cheeks. You wanted to quip back, to say something just as smug but all you could do was press your hand onto the burgeoning bulge in his pants. The smile on Wooyoung’s face slipped and he let out a shaky breath. This reaction brought your confidence back up and it was your turn to return the smug smile.

There was a sudden eruption of cheers behind you.

“Way to go Michelle!” cried out Rebecca.

“Let’s fucking GOOOOO!” Nayda roared.

You wanted to join in on the fun behind you but there was so much fun to be had right in front of you. Your grip on Wooyoung’s hardening dick tightened. And as the celebration behind you began to die down to cries of, “another round!” “Best out of 3!” “Move over, Joong, lemme try!” Wooyoung took this opportunity to wrap his large hands around your tiny waist and pull you into his lap. With legs on either side of him, his hands found their way underneath the mini skirt to take full handfuls of your ass.

You let out a shaky breath and try to settle into the new position. His hands were so big and so firm on your ass cheeks. He gave them a hearty squeeze and you could already feel the excitement building between your legs.

You placed both hands on his chest while arching your back, eager to feel his bulge press against the sensitive spot between your legs. That smug smile spread on his lips as he let go of one of your ass cheeks to grab the back of your neck, forcefully pulling your face close to his.

Your foreheads pressed together as his hips began moving against your form. His deep dark eyes watching yours as your bodies started synchronizing. With every roll of your hips, his hips were there to meet and reciprocate the feeling. It was slow, and deep. You could feel the complete length of his dick on your pussy every time you rolled your hips. You wanted more, you wanted to feel him inside of you. The fact that your friends were only a few feet away from you made you more excited - the promise of being watched or even caught made you press down harder on his crotch.

Wooyoung’s breathing was becoming irregular and shallow, grunts replacing some of his deeper breaths. You bit your cheek to quiet a moan. Wooyoung saw this and leaned in to kiss you but you pulled back, mischievous little grin on your pink lips. He scoffed at the action and retaliated by moving his hand from the back of your neck to the front, his fingers gripping at just the right spot.

Stars started to dot the corners of your vision from his grip and this time, you could not suppress the moan that fell from your lips. Luckily, it went unnoticed as the rest of the gang was still caught up in their friendly competition.

The lack of attention was a double-edged sword - you wanted your friends to see you like this, you wanted his friends to see you like this, but all you could focus on was the firm feel of his hard cock on your pussy. You began to dig your nails into his chest as the roar of another celebration erupted behind you.

With the possibility of being caught on the forefront of your mind, you press your hips further into his cock, the friction of his pants and your panties pushing you to the very edge. Wooyoung leaned in close to your ear, breath warm on the sensitive skin and whispered “Cum for me.”

You happily obliged, letting the warmth of the orgasm spread from the inside of your thighs throughout your entire body. The hand on your neck never loosened however, as Wooyoung was still chasing his high. In a final effort to absolutely destroy him, you bit your bottom lip and rolled off his body back onto the seat next to him, just as he finally came.

Without the feel of your pussy on his dick, the orgasm felt empty and ruined. In confusion, anger, and frustration, Wooyoung released your neck and simply sat there with his mouth open. You tried to get your breathing under control as you glanced over at the mess on his pants. You let out a lazy laugh and said, “You should get that cleaned up.”

[griots-tales]

Having a shitty valentines day. Just left an abuser and am a now single lesbian. Honestly just wish Ramonda would be able to make my valentines day amazing with like a super romantic date and stuff

Well she could in an AU... I don't know you so I could get some stuff wrong, but I'll try <3

You wiped your tears for the last time today, leaving your office after an extended shift you took just to take your mind off them. The Wakandan Outreach Center was more silent now that the night had fallen. The front desk lady noticed your red eyes and kindly offered you a whole red velvet muffin.

"Don't worry, I've had enough..." She grinned and reassured you as you smiled in return and thanked her. It smelled great, so you stuffed it into your mouth as you walked out of the glass entrance.

But you regretted that almost instantly when you ran into her: Queen Ramonda stood casually on the sidewalk in regular clothes, but still looking regal as ever.

You choked on the cake as you tried to chew it down quickly, prompting her to come and slap your back, making you spit out the whole thing onto the asphalt. You blushed furiously in embarrassment, but Ramonda only chuckled softly.

"I'll get you another, dear... are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah..." You sighed "I just wasn't expecting you to... be here..."

"Do you have other plans this evening?"

"Wh- uh no! not at all, in fact-" You paused, wiping your chin. "I did, but I'm just- done with them. Today was horrible." You blurted it out. You didn't know why, but she always made you feels safe enough to do so.

She nodded in understanding. "Why don't you tell me about it, (Y/N)? And get some cake?"

As soon as you nodded, a shiny black Lexus appeared around the bend of the road and stopped in front of the entrance. You could see the perfectly curved silhouette of the driver's bald head.

You had known the Queen personally for about a month now, as you had been selected to oversee the personal logistics of her visits in your country. She was much more beautiful to look at up close, and an even more beautiful and strong person. The two of you grew close by either chance or fate, but either way, she was starting to become more than an acquaintance.

Whatever luxury you could have been used to in your life before this, it did not compare to what you saw in that car. But far more than the leather seats and the holographic displays, you savored the company of your long term crush, the Queen of Wakanda.

"Well, what happened?" She inquired, stepping out of the car at a famous local elite bakery. You picked a table as you started explaining to her how you had been abused by your partner and had just found the courage to leave them. You were much better off without them, but the breakup had certainly affected you and Valentine's Day, which was important to you, was ruined this year.

Your cake arrived by the time you finished your story.

"Oh, my.... Thank you, your high-"

Ramonda cut you a glance.

"I mean, Ramonda..." You smiled.

"To a better life ahead." She smiled back and raised a slice of red velvet cake from the platter like a drink.

"Cheers!" you giggled and dug into the sweet juicy depths of it. She noticed the Queen's eyes lingering a little on you before she dug in too.

"So yeah, " You concluded. "I wish people weren't such shit."

Ramonda nodded. "Partners can be disappointing sometimes, but you deserve better."

"You've had an experience?"

"Yes..." She raised her eyebrows as she reminisced. " While I appreciate him for changing his behavior for me and our kids... my husband did horrible things. When we got into a relationship, he cheated with what felt like every woman in Wakanda with me after he promised to never do it. And for years I let him hurt me. I thought he grew as a person later, but he was still abusive to his brother's side of the family and hid it from me because he was scared of me."

"How does someone feel like cheating on you?" you ask in genuine bewilderment.

Ramonda chuckled. " I don't know, but in some ways it helped me get over his death."

You smiled and nodded. "I'm sorry, though... that couldn't have been easy..."

She reached out and held your hand. "It wasn't. That's why I wanna make sure you're okay..."

You wrapped your fingers around hers. "But... why do you care so much? Not in a bad way, but I don't know many world leaders who take event managers to bakeries on like, Valentine's Day..."

You said the last two words very softly and avoided Ramonda's eyes. Her fingers were warm in yours as you could no longer deny it. Smooth ass Queen took you out on a date without you even realizing it.

"You're not just any event manager to me, (Y/N) Inhliziyo yami ishaya kancane mangizwa izwi lakho."

You had no idea what she just said despite learning Xhosa, because you couldn't even remember you own name...but it sounded like a honeycomb being parted.

In seconds she had you melting in your place, fiddling with the candy hearts that came with the cake. You shyly glanced at her through your lashes as she smirked at you. You noticed how she had put her hair in ringlets, just the way you had suggested when you had met her a few weeks earlier.

Your heart was beating faster and faster as she lifted the hand she was holding and softly kissed it on your knuckles.

"Happy Valentines...(Y/N)"

[substituted-shinigami]

Hearthstone (RenRuki)

AO3

Characters: Rukia and Renji

Rating: G

Genre: Humor/Fluff/Crack

Chapter Summary: When you Konsou a Soul Reaper, they get sent back to wherever they consider their “home” to be in Soul Society. But where truly is one’s home?

Author’s Note: So originally I wanted to do a comic for Renji’s birthday, but things got busy and so it didn’t pan out. Luckily, I dug through my WIP and found this silly, little drabble that I think you all will still like! So “Happy Belated Birthday” Renji Abarai and please enjoy!

Non-canon but sort of canon adjacent? It’s inspired by this post, which discusses what might happen when you konsou/soul burial a soul reaper.

Back when the Advance Team traveled to the World of the Living, or more accurately, Ichigo’s bedroom, they had a tendency towards…minor disagreements. One such minor disagreement led to a minor scuffle which was only resolved when Matsumoto slapped the hilt of her sword upon Ikkaku’s shiny bald head and, pop, he was gone. It was all very funny in Rukia’s expert opinion.

That said, it confused Ichigo an awful lot, so she had to explain to him that a shinigami could one, be Konsou’ed or soul buried, and two, when they were, they were sent back to wherever they considered their “home” to be. Due to all that occurred after that, between the Arrancar attack, the Winter War, and eventually the Fullbringer incident, she assumed Ichigo had forgotten all about it. He had not.

Something she learned the hard way, when she decided to push him just a little too far with her teasing and the next thing she knew, pop, she was back in Soul Society.

At first she was simply pissed. However that annoyance turned immediately to embarrassment when she realized where she was. She was in the Kuchiki manor, which made sense. What made less sense was what she was doing on Renji’s lap.

Turns out Renji had come to the manor to give Byakuya, who was home sick with the flu, an update on this week's reports, and she had just interrupted their meeting…by appearing on Renji’s lap. After bowing several embarrassed apologies, she left.

What was slightly more strange, was the next place she appeared. She had been arguing with Ichigo about her way too large World of the Living manga stash (she always bought more “extremely embarrassing” manga whenever she visited or was on mission, and then proceeded to accidentally leave them in his room to be found by his family later) when, pop, there she was back in Soul Society, funnily enough, with all her manga. Rukia steamed!

“Oh, there you are! I was coming to see if you had gotten back yet, but they told me you weren’t due to return till tonight,” A familiar voice above her said. Rukia looked up and saw Renji leaning over her. She was on his lap again.

“Ah! Renji?! Where?!” She looked around frantically and saw that she had arrived in the Thirteenth Division, “HUH?!”

“Yeah, looks like you got konsou’ed again," Renji responded casually as she scrambled off his lap, "Was it Ichigo? What did you do to him this time? Force him to read all your manga?”

“No, no, he was mad because he thought my stash was getting too big and that he was running out of closet space. Also, his family kept finding it and were starting to ask him embarrassing questions, so he forced me to go back with it," she looked around again after she had stood up, "Why am I at the Thirteenth though?”

Renji shrugged while picking up one of the manga, “Who knows? While I usually get sent to my living quarters, I do end up at my division from time to time. I guess in a way, our divisions are our homes.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Rukia replied slowly as she turned towards him, “Renji, have…have you been Konsou’ed recently?”

“Hmm?” Renji asked, as he flipped through the volume, “Uh no, I don’t think so. Not since my time at the Eleventh. Why?”

“Just…Just wondering…” she said as she eyed him thoughtfully.

Finally, after the Thousand Year Blood War, it happened one more time. She and Renji were having a philosophical debate on the character Ichigo played in their movie series Maid Cop, when the next thing they knew, pop pop, they were both back in Soul Society, lying in each other’s arms.

“I guess I can’t deny it now,” Rukia murmured softly as she reached up to touch Renji’s cheek, “With you, I am home.”

“Yeah,” Renji agreed fondly as he returned her soft gaze and softer touch, “Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that checks out.”

“If you two wouldn’t mind,” Byakuya stated sternly, “Could you PLEASE GET OFF MY DESK?!”

[ponderingyourorb]

do you think the batter has hair or is he bald under his hat

OK. AS MUCH AS I LOVE BATTER W HAIR IM STILL A BALD BATTER BELIEVER.

THAT GUY IS BALD. THERES NOT A SINGLE HAIR IN THAT HEAD. YOU TAKE HIS HAT OFF AND GET PURIFIED BECAUSE OF HOW SHINY THAT BALD HEAD IS. LIKE TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD REBLOG TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD SEE THIS POST TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD.

[i-am-a-fan]

Happy December 25th! I have come bearing gifts :D! A Bo Fu centric ficlet :>

Arrow after arrow connected with sparkling glass vases lined up like army men on the fence around the horse stables and sent the sound of glass shattering up into the gold tinted sky.

Bo Fu sighed with content as his last arrow hit its mark and the glass vase was reduced to shards. His temporary moment of peace however was shattered by the familiar nicker of Bo Fu's second least favorite horse, Kion.

Kion was an Akhal-Teke, a breed of riding horse known for their speed and glossy golden coat, and Kion was no different. He had a very shiny coat and was probably one of the fastest, if not the fastest, horse in the stables so the horse had an ego. Which was exactly why he was Bo Fu’s second least favorite horse, what type of horse had an ego?   

"Oh shut up," Bo Fu retorted back before even lowering his bow to give Kion a "don't-even-give-me-that-crap" look. 

Kion nickered again, a bored look on the horse's face. 

“Relax! We have celestial spirits to do that!” Bo Fu said and as if it was rehearsed celestial spirits glowed faintly into existence and began to clean up the glass shards. 

The Celestial spirits were like the designated janitors of the celestial realm, any time a mess appeared they’d be there to clean it but you couldn’t tell them what exactly to clean and not clean so it was honestly a coin toss whether they were actually helpful or not.  

Kion gave Bo Fu another look before taking a mouth full of Bo Fu’s head fur and giving it a hard tug.

“OW! HEY!” Bo Fu yelled as he reached up to check if Kion had given him another bald spot. Thankfully all his fur was still there though his head was pretty sore. 

He glared at the horse, “Dude, uncool.” 

Kion went in for another try at ripping out Bo Fu’s fur but Bo Fu managed to evade the chompers only to trip on the tip of his own bow. 

Snap.

Bo Fu felt his bow snap in half as he used it to try and keep himself from falling thus, despite his efforts, he fell over into a pile of what he hoped was mud. With his luck there was a very good chance it was horse droppings, Kion then proceeded to nicker and snort in a way that Bo Fu knew all too well as horse laughter.

Great. Once again he was a laughing stock for a horse.

Bo Fu slapped his hands down into the “mud” and sent a spray of it up onto his face, Kion laughed harder.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want but we’ll see who’s laughing when dinner time rolls around,” Bo Fu grumbled. Kion immediately stopped laughing and gave Bo Fu a look that read, “watch-what-you-say-next-monkey”. 

Bo Fu was tempted to throw some “mud” at Kion because of it but decided against it in the end. He didn’t need to be on the receiving end of the horse’s, and probably Kion’s owner’s, wrath. 

He stood and wiped himself off as best he could. He then picked up the broken halves of his bow, he wasn’t too broken up about it; this was the tenth bow he’d broken that year, and headed to the back of the stables to grab a shovel and a bucket.  

It was on the way to get said shovel and bucket however that Bo Fu saw something that thoroughly increased his mood; the guards to the lemon orchard were leaving their position! 

It was one of the only plus sides of working at the horse stables; there was a perfect view from the stables to the path the guards took to check in to, or check out of, their position guarding the lemon orchard. Which meant it was really easy to know when it was a good time to sneak into the orchard and steal some lemons.  

The lemon orchards honestly didn’t have that many guards, two at most, because the Celestial realm was much more focused on guarding the immortal peach orchard, especially after the whole Sun Wukong incident, but honestly the whole Sun Wukong incident was why all the orchards had guards nowadays anyways. Including the lemon orchard, but Bo Fu was more than happy to believe they had added guards to keep Bo Fu from stealing their realm famous lemons and not some Sun Wukong related reason.

Bo Fu grinned and in a split second decided to make a break for the lemon orchard instead of cleaning up the “mud”. 

AHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!

[bitterarcs]

Three hours of paperwork was two hours too much, two and a half, and if Reno was so bold enough — the entire three hours was entirely too grueling. Between treading neck deep in a body of blood or following up missions with the boredom of paperwork, Reno would certainly opt for the former. Hell, even broken bones were preferable over being stashed away like an office gremlin until eyes felt they would melt into the back of his head. While Elena complained a healthy amount, Reno took the cake and the toppings when it came to hating work . . or at least vocalizing his hatred. After five hours, there was a notable tension in his partner's massive shoulders. A break was required of some nature, but the bald man never really complained.

Perhaps being a stoic and quiet person was a prerequisite to excelling at the humdrum work; Reno knew first hand that all the desk jockeys in ShinRa were as boring as their work. The Turk used cigarette, drink, and piss breaks to alleviate the sleepy tension mounting in his mind. After the fourth hour, he decided to simply relax on the ebony leather sofa of their office, the one he shared with Rude and Elena. Why else was there a comfortable couch is no one was supposed to relax in it, and, yeah, drift off to sleep. He knew it was going to happen the moment he decided to sit on the piece of furniture and did not fight the appeal of a nap. Not long enough to accommodate the length of his body, Reno lied down with knees bent towards his waist and placed one of the pillows between his thighs for comfort.

It was not his intention to waste away the rest of the day and almost like a buzzer went off, Reno woke precisely forty minutes after dozing off. Turqouise eyes glazed over with sleepiness looked towards his partner's desk and found it void of that shiny bald head. The pillow rolled out from between his thighs and fell to the ground as he rolled around and half stretched like a merry cat. It took three seconds of looking at up at Rufus' face to really process what eyes were seeing. Rufus. The Boss. Reno shouldn't have been as startled as he felt. It was not unheard of for Rufus to visit their office, yet . . it had always felt like it his and Rude's ( not really Elena's ) private space.

It was stupid and silly considering anyone, especially the boss, could easily open the door and stroll inside unannounced. Grin which fell onto lips so naturally tugged on the edges of lips as he sat up with a jolt. Hey, boss — Rufus' body pivoted to deliver the slap to the back of his head before the words could travel from brain to mouth. Had it been Rude, he would have groaned dramatically and climbed onto his back to deliver a slap of his own. He could only stare for two seconds and then allow laughter to flutter past parted lips.

(  ❛  If I can't drink on the job, I should be able to take a nap. It helps me focus, boss. I swear. Now I'm all energized and ready . . to finish my report That slap might have killed some brain cells though.  ❜  )

Enthusiasm had died by the terminating sentence, but the grin remained more-or-less stable on lips. He ducked down to pick up the fallen pillow and tossed it on the sofa, then stood up straight and gave the President a reassuring thumb's up. The hell did Rufus do all day? Didn't the man get bored or antsy or tired?

  Smacks the back of his head. “Stop sleeping on the job.”  @ivory-paragon            (   is this a love confession, rufus ?  )

[egg-emperor]

OG!OneTrue!MikePollock!Eggman: *looking at Jim Carrey* How DARE you claim to be me! You’re absolutely pathetic! And your mustache is wrong! And you aren’t even as gloriously fat or handsome as I am!

Jimbotnik: I fought for this mustache, you arrogant penguin!

Agent Stone: *is just happy there’s another Eggman he can fawn over and make latte art of*

lol I do always imagine og Eggman's reaction to be very critical because no redesign can beat what he sees as his already absolutely perfect appearance that's already at his peak with his handsome face with big nose, stunning wide grin, pretty blue eyes, and magnificent big fluffy stache, his stunning polished shiny bald head, beautiful big round egg shaped belly he specifically seeks to maintain, sexy bearish look, and killer fashion sense (and he'd be right!)

so seeing a guy with a completely different face lacking all those features, with hair in a style he'd never have, skinny without the shape to match the name, with much less unique iconic clothes and fashion sense, not a bear at all, and with such a smaller stache? he'd be quite displeased. and him having to fight for the stache wouldn't be good enough for him compared to his huge fluffy stache that he takes great pride in and thinks deserves only the best representation!

Agent Stone would be very based to be into og Eggman and would become very relatable to me that way. now that's the perfect handsome mug to be making latte art of and as the version of Eggman who is actually known to like to slap his visage onto absolutely everything, he would definitely highly approve hehe 💜

[your-strangelove]

Bald head nice and shiny, like the apple. Time to slap his bald head. (Hmm yes I think I’ll try typing more in the text box actually...)

✨b a l d✨

[soupbabe]

Do you guys think that David became a vampire so he wouldn't go bald. He looks like he was on his way to go bald.

[henqtic]

sleep talk . . . big chop

word count: 303

“would you still love me if i went bald ?” you whispered to the boy laying on your chest, who you’d assume was dead asleep if it wasn’t for the soft brush his lips on one of your breast ever other ten seconds or so.

he paused his movements at your question, sluggishly dragging up his head to meet your eyes as if his neck wasn’t functioning.

“you wanna big chop again ?”

“no that’s different, i’m talking mr.clean type of bald— ”

“who’s that?”

“oh right. he’s the face of this muggle cleaning brand, he’s bald. like dipped in oil shiny bald, not a speck of hair on his head,” you clarified the character to clear his confused expression you couldn’t see through the pitch black darkness of his room.

“oh.”

“oh ?”

“i mean, no then, because then you’d get mad at me when i have the urge to slap it, and that takes the fun out of it,” he joked, suddenly a little more awake as he let out a rasped laugh, only growing as you lightly pushed his head off of your lower body in annoyance.

surprisingly, not putting up much of fight when he got just enough sleep diluted strength to lift himself completely up, turning you off of your back and onto your side so that he could wrap his arms loosely around your body —  face digging into the crook of your neck to breathe in the lotion you put on a few minutes ago.

“don’t be upset please, i adore you love, you could shave a square into the middle of your head and i’d still love you.”

“that’s sounds encrypted freddie, you play any form of that prank on me and i will break up with you,” you threatened with not much intent behind it, soon drifting into sleep.

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