#like to be clear I'm totally fine answering these types of messages but there is something funny about it

[seriousbrat]

It's legitimately ROUGH out here for a fan of Snape and also the marauders. I'm actually asking, like is it so weird to like both?? It's not a question of morality for me, I just think Snape and James (and Sirius) are all interesting characters that have good and bad traits and that's what I like about them?? The way I see it, Snape and James are so important to each other's stories that it makes absolute sense to like both.

ANYWAY the moment everyone stops seeing enjoying fictional characters as a moral statement.... they are not real so liking these characters does not mean "supporting" all of their actions. Mostly I just think they are #iconic

[zukosdualdao]

despite my lack of enjoyment for most of the atla post-series comics themselves, i'm very fascinated by the discussions around them because, as with many post-series comics, two of the biggest questions are: are these canon? and does that matter?

it's interesting, too, because i have never seen a single post-series comics continuation that was widely well-received. which is not to say that no one enjoys them - you can find avid supports and avid detractors for just about any property and any storytelling medium you can think of - but that the contention around them is not contained just to atla. (the buffy post-series continuation comics, for example, are pretty controversial as well.)

i think part of it comes down to fan resentment, because as much people say they want more of a certain thing, it's actually often better, at least i think, for a creative project to be self-contained and not try to keep milking the cash cow. and when creators are doing that and not delivering a story fans are happy with, it shows.

but then that also leads to this question, right, of are these post-series comics canon? i think the answer is genuinely more nuanced than some have given thought to. bryke would say yes, as they are the official creators and have been heavily involved in the production of the comics. and anyone who subscribes to the idea that the original creators of a thing hold the final word on the idea of what's canon and what's not would therefore agree also.

but if someone was more inclined to think that once a creator puts their work out into the world, they're sort of giving up the the idea that they have total control as to how people interpret the thing they've created... then it's a lot murkier.

i guess, to be clear, i do not, strictly speaking, see the atla comics as canon. i'm not the type (at least these days, there's a lot of past fandom follow-the-leader-ing i was doing that i now cringe back at, i was sixteen, it's fine) to declare something as 'not canon' if i simply don't like it. i think that's important to acknowledge because sometimes canon is worth criticizing. this is, incidentally, where i (again, these days) find myself uninterested, by and large, in deriding a character for behaving 'ooc', and instead far more interested in contextualizing and analyzing their behavior. after all, if it's in the thing, it’s in the thing.

... except the comics aren't the original thing. they are influenced and backed by the original creators and presumably a lot of people on the original team, but they're an entirely different medium, and presumably not entirely the same team, and they may well have had a very different artistic mission statement or way of brainstorming ideas, etc, etc. (also, to anyone who says the medium does not matter, i implore you to think about how different the show would be with a different musical score! for an instance. and then think about the fact for as big an influence as the music had on the series, the comics inherently cannot translate that.)

which leads me to a rabbit-hole train of thought question there is, i think, no clear answer to, but i will pose it regardless: can something made (at least in part) by the original creators be a 'transformative work'? if you're defining 'transformative' as: "adds "new expression, meaning, or message" to the original work", then i think you could easily argue that the new medium, if nothing else, constitutes a 'new expression.' but then you could also argue that the whole point of the term is to protect creators of transformative works from copyright claims made by the original creators, arguably making that irrelevant.

anyway! even more than the nebulous nature of what a post-canon comic even is, i find fan engagement - or lack thereof - pretty important to the conversation, too. because i think those of us deeply entrenched in fandom spaces tend to forget that casual viewership probably takes up a much larger percentage of most audiences than those in fandom, and that's probably true even years after a show has ended. that being the case, a lot of the audience has probably never even heard of the comics, let alone read them.

there are, naturally, nuances and variables to this, such as the idea that someone who goes back and watches a show from twenty years ago might be more likely to engage in fandom, and the way that 'fandom' has a concept has evolved (as i do think what i'd term 'casual fandom', eg. tweeting about bridgerton but not necessarily consuming or creating fan content is a lot more common now than it was twenty years ago due to social media), as well as the fact that you don't have to be involved in fandom to say, receive the comics as a gift from an uncle who knows you like the franchise.

but all of this can be true and it can also still be true that a pretty big percentage of people who have watched and even love atla haven't read the comics/have no knowledge or interest in them. and so that gets to the issue of does it matter whether they're canon or not? i've seen some KA shippers, for instance, argue that the comics 'fixed' the issue of aang kissing katara without her consent in teip because there's a comic (iirc) where he asks if he can kiss her, she says not right now, he listens, the end. and to be clear, i'm not trying to demean the creators for including that scene, as i think it's important to model healthy examples of consent for kids. but i also really empathize with the idea that it's sort of too-little-too-late because the original issue was never addressed in-show and, again! many people who did watch the show have never and will never read that comic.

so when i hear the debates back-and-forth of whether they count as canon or not, my head hurts, and i just can't find it in myself to care. who knows, right? maybe the real canon is the friends we made along the way. etc.

what it boils down to for me is this: generally speaking, i don't enjoy the comics and have no need or desire to incorporate them into my understanding of atla's series narrative. there are elements that i can appreciate, and they are largely zuko and the fn royal family backstory details, because, unlike the additive adventure narratives, it primarily serves to deepen and contextualize things we already saw in the show. i know some people see this 'i take what i like and dump out the rest' philosophy as, idk, a cheap cop-out or something. maybe they're right! i just can't find it in myself to care. at the end of the day, i think the big important thing for me is that i am able to define and decide on these things for myself. i think we should get more comfortable doing that in fandom in general, tbh.

[tiktoks-for-tired-tots]

Hi I saw your post about Jewish and to answer your question, I think the way you have it is totally fine, but I wanted to give you some more information so that you can make a more informed decision I guess. A kippah is simply something that fulfills a Jewish law to cover ones head (specifically when praying but some Jews wear them all the time for other reasons I won't get into) so technically a halo would technically not work as a kippah because of the hole in the middle and also the floating/not technically being on the head. So I think the halo works really well as a nod to a kippah, but trying to claim it is a kippah (which you didn't so) wouldn't work. If you did want it to be a real kippah here's an idea (though I'm not sure how it would work artistically): the work halo comes from the Hebrew word "hila” which can be translated as an emanation of light, so if you want to have like a light kippah that sort of projects a halo (like a circle with a ring around it) I think that would also be cool because halos are also often depicted this way. Also I looked at some of the replies to see what others are saying and one of them was from someone trying to be woke telling you that you are depicting a Jewish character as a Christian angel which is not true. While it is true that the most common/famous Jewish angels are not depicted this way, in Judaism there are 10 different ranks/types of angels. I believe (though I can't say for sure about all of them) Cherubs, Hashmallim, Bene Elohim, Ishim, and Malakim are often depicted in a humanoid form (though some like the Malakim can have many different forms of shapes). Sorry for the info dump, but I hope this helps and to reiterate I think the way you have it is fine.

omg thank u so much for the info!!! thats rlly good information, and thank you for presenting it in such a clear way. And also for clarifying the angel point, as I wasn't certain on that after it was pointed out. As you said I don't intend the halo to be a 'real' kippah at all, and thank you for your support! This is the kind of cultural info dump that i adore, feel free to message me with more info if youd like!

[hmm-dont-know-really]

This blog is 18+, minors please block & dni

Rules:

No minors, no exceptions.

This is a nsfw blog and I'm bad at tagging, if you need your dash to be totally sfw or have triggers that need to be tagged absolutely every time, just don't follow. Interacting is still fine.

I block people based on their behavior, not their identifiers.

Asks and dms are open. Dms slightly preferred because I usually have clairifying questions. Its fine to just message me, I don't care if we've been interacting or not.

Info:

It's complicaited but I'm a cis bi woman for statistical purposes.

I'm almost 30, not looking for anything more than being friends if you're a lot younger than me.

I've got quite a bit of experience with kink & femdom (F/m), and I'm always happy to answer educational questions about those things, but I'm really here to talk to other queer people, not cis men.

I don't hate men tho, and this is not a "men dni" blog, if that bothers you feel free to block me.

Related to that, to me the point of femdom is systematic gender fuckery and destruction of the binary - in the context of my cis "het" relationships at least, might be down for selectively reinforcing the binary in gender affirming ways. If the kink we're doing doesn't ritually eviscerate at least one oppressive social structure, I don't want it.

If you want me to be talking about you when I talk about boys, then yes I'm talking about you; "boy" is a vibe to me, its not about gender or parts.

I'm autistic and I don't understand what a lot of wlw words mean, not enough to really use them. Anyone who wants to help me understand is welcome to my dms and a reward of their choice, everyone else can shut up and think about the pervasive ableism in the queer community before judging.

Generally when it comes to sex I'm into sub guys, sad wet pathetic little men, pretty boys (all boys are pretty), masc nonbinary and genderfucky people, and sometimes women if there's a power dynamic (usually a slightly toxic one), if they could defeat me, or if we're performing intricate rituals. Also I fall for other autistic girls hard and easily in a QPR way.

Look, I am a dom/top type person, but I am also shy as fuck, and I don't like persuing people when its not super clear they're into it. If you want me to give you horny attention, you gotta give some kind of consent. Posts addressed to the void or doms in general don't count.

I don't think I'm all that edgy in the grand scheme of things, but I've been around long enough to know that the distinction between "gentle" and "hard" kinks is purity culture crap. If you're still on that shit you're not gonna have a good time here.

A few things I can promise won't be here: excessive gore, (what I consider to be) body horror, needles, death, race play, disability fetishism, scat and vomit, and most "family" stuff (I allow the occasional title if its not the main focus of the post).

Things that probably will be here: femdom, queer and "straight" seeming stuff mixed together, fat positivity, hornyposting, some serious/political stuff, discussions about kink, horny fanfic, pretty kink toys and gear, autism posting, memes, etc.

[blackswan446]

CORRUPTED || six.

𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐔𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃 ✩✩✩

the small cafe had mostly cleared out by now. dusk had taken over the neighborhood, it's deep orange and maroon skies flooding through the windows like water. serenity hung in the atmosphere, the lively energy of daytime having quieted down. you sat at the wooden table, school supplies sprawled out all over the surface. hoseok sat opposite you, typing away on his computer. the reflection of a word document with lots of writing was visible in his glasses and he donned a pair of airpods. you hadn't seen him this focused on anything in a while.

which is why you didn't start panicking when you saw 7 missed calls from yoongi.

instead you scrolled through his dozens of texts, all asking in one way or another where you were, who you were with, and what you were doing. the sight of these frantic messages and the knowledge that he was upset and worried because he hadn't heard from you made your stomach flip. without saying a word, you redialed his number and put the phone to your ear. it had barely even dialed before he picked up, sounding both concerned and furious.

"finally, you answer!" he roared. you cringed a bit at his tone as he continued ranting "where the hell have you been? i thought you got kidnapped or something!" he said, the aggravation in his voice turning to a tone of genuine concern. "are you alright? where are you?"

"i'm at a cafe, i'm studying." you said quietly, contrasting with the loud volume of his voice through your phone. you shifted in your chair, lowering the volume on your phone. "i'm sorry, i had my phone silenced."

he sighed harshly before responding. "but you couldn't keep my notifications on?! all you had to do was respond to one text, and then i would've left you alone, but no, you can't even do that?" he said irritated. you thought over his words, he made a good point. but that didn't cancel out the fact that he was still being kind of...mean.

"my phone distracts me, yoongi, i have stuff to get done!" you said firmly, "i don't know what else to say!" he scoffed at your defense. "jesus christ, no wonder your parents don't talk to you. you're crazy. do you ignore their texts, too?!" he asked, his tone bitter and angry. your heart sank at his words, you didn't think he'd go that low. "hey, don't go there. that's unnecessary. i told you i was sorry." you said sadly.

you heard a sigh from the other line. "okay, i'm sorry i said that. i was just worried about you. you know i care about you, more than anything, right?" he said, his tone having switched from cold and low to sugary and kind. you muttered a quiet agreement, looking down at your homework and textbooks. hoseok was still writing, totally oblivious to what was happening right in front of him.

"when do you think you'll be done? i want to see you." he said sweetly. you thought for a moment, you had been there for about two hours. you still had more work to do, but this was a priority right now. "i don't know, we'll be leaving really soon. probably half an hour?" you said, coming out as a question instead of an answer. "we? who's we, [name]?" yoongi said, his tone slightly more rigid than before. "are you there with ho-suck, or whatever his name is?"

you looked up at hoseok nervously, who was still blissfully unaware of the raging war between you and your boyfriend. "yeah." you said quietly. yoongi sighed roughly. "fine. whatever. as long as you're not alone." he seethed "but you text me as soon as you get back home, okay? and you don't go anywhere after this. straight home." he said, hanging up right after. you sighed, and looked at your supplies once again. you hated to disrupt hoseok's work by saying goodbye, but what choice did you have? you had worried yoongi enough tonight, it was just better for you to go home.

you started to put your things back into your bag, which caught hoseok's attention. "ready to go?" he asked, taking one of his headphones out. you nodded. "i am, but don't feel like you have to go with me. i'm fine to go by myself." you said, zipping your bag shut. "no way, i don't want to stay here alone." he said, slamming his computer shut. "besides, i'm pretty much done with the paper. it was a bitch to write, though."

you laughed. "really? because you looked pretty focused to me. i don't think i've ever seen you concentrate on anything like that." you said, smiling at the recent memory of him looking at his computer like it was the only thing in the entire world. "oh, [n/n], have more faith in me. i know what i'm doing." he said playfully. you chuckled as he went on about knowing more than he let on and how you needed to believe in him.

you tried to laugh along with his humorous rant, and you tried to stay in the moment with him, but you couldn't get your mind off of you and yoongi's disagreement. his words were dark and murky, they clouded the skies of your mind and pushed the happiness out of your heart. of course, he was right. you knew that. he was just worried about you. wouldn't you act the same way for him?

in reality, you knew that you wouldn't bombard him with messages and calls when you didn't know where he was or who he was with. did that mean you didn't care for him, like he did for you? shame inundated your conscience, the dark, dreadful feeling of guilt not creeping up on you slowly, but jumping out in front and shoving you into the dark alley it called home.

you were so lost in your own emotions, that you almost didn't realize that you had gotten back home. hoseok, who was still telling his story, stopped walking before you did. "[name]." he said confused. you stopped and looked around. "oh." he looked at you, his expressing showing slight concern as he met your eyes. "are you okay? you barely said anything the whole way home." he asked, putting his hand on the gate that led into your yard. you nodded. "yeah, i'm fine." you said softly as you fumbled for your key. "i just have a headache. i need to lie down." you lied. he shook his head. "i get it. get some rest, okay?" he said, patting your shoulder lightly. "i'll see you tomorrow, [n/n]." with that, he started walking again. his favorite yellow shoes hit the ground hard as he strolled away. you unlocked the gate with a tired sigh, and unlocked the house.

taking out your phone to text yoongi, you looked around the empty house. it looked like a family had never lived there, the only signs of life being your shoes and a little, tiny framed photo of you and hoseok from high school. his words barged into your mind again, and you couldn't help but wonder...

was he right?

✩✩✩ 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐔𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃

[necronoia]

I don’t think of you often, and I imagine you never think of me. Though, I thought of you yesterday, while in a store with a friend. They tried on sunglasses you once had or wanted. Sometimes I consider “what if-“ and think about what it would be like to know you now.

That’s where this comes from: I hope you found a better place. I hope you and Bart found better lives. I hope you grew from that person that you were. I hope you flourished and that WA treats you well and the boy better than it treats you.

I don’t care to find your answer to this, and I don’t care to dredge up the past. I just wanted to see your artwork and reminisce on the friend I lost. There are so many things I sometimes think I’d tell you- and so many things I can no longer watch or listen to.

I wish we were still friends, and I hate the way things ended. I hope your support system is no longer your shitty ass mother and her shitty ass common law husband. I am so glad I didn’t know them during Covid and quarantine.

I am thankful you left. Things were bad in that apartment- totally not the worst thing ever, and certainly not abusive like your letter stated- we only had like two disagreements ever.

I wish you had been honest with me. I regret that you didn’t feel like you could just talk to me. I don’t regret throwing your things over your mothers wall. I regret not knowing for certain if your mother pissed in my closet- though I suspect she did.

I’ve gotten off track. It doesn’t matter. I was going to do this with less specifics, because I don’t care if you knew it was me. It’s not like you ever think about me or reached out. You didn’t and you’ll probably have anxiety attacks over this stupid message, anyway.

Long story short, sometimes I think about you, sometimes I don’t. I hope your life got better and I hope beanboy is happy.

i wasn't going to respond, but i just keep getting angrier and angrier at this message. i figure that's what you want out of me, to get upset. i've had one hell of a last couple days, so maybe had you hit me any other time i'd have just ignored you like i reasonably should. because this is what you want right? a reaction? whether you're willing to admit it to yourself or not. you can say "i don't care" as many times as you want. why else would you have gone through all the trouble of finding me, scrolling through my blog for at least 9 pages (bc i haven't mentioned where i'm living anywhere else except in a post 9 pages deep), and then typing this out?

even if you didn't send this with that intent, because you don't want to "dredge up the past", you're showing me you haven't fucking grown at all.

i left the way i did because i was scared of you. you treated me like fucking garbage every single day. you constantly called me stupid despite me asking you not to, repeatedly, and told me it was fine because you were "just joking". i'm "ridiculous" as you'd often say.

i did practically everything in that apartment, i cooked i cleaned i took care of the cats, etc, and i would've been okay with that to a reasonable extent if you could've just been fucking NICE to me! or grateful in any way! instead of constantly fucking lashing out at me, often times literally for doing exactly what you told me to (because you constantly ordered me around). i couldn't say no to anything you asked because you'd passive aggressively huff and get frustrated and say "it's fine, whatever" in a way that made it clear it was NOT fine, in a way that was meant to make me feel like shit and feel scared until i complied. because i was easy as hell to manipulate like that.

i picked up your gross ass dirty laundry that you'd leave strewn about the house. i cleaned up the trash you'd stuff into random nooks and crannies in the living room. when you couldn't be assed to dig through the laundry pile that was your bedroom for work clothes, you'd "ask" me to do it for you. and i would, despite my disgust, because the alternative was you being passive aggressive and making me feel like fucking garbage for having any kind of boundaries. i remember distinctly, how upset you were that you had to do your own laundry because my mom wouldn't let me bring your clothes to her house to wash when i did mine (which, is fucking reasonable! i am not your goddamn maid!), and i refused to do it for you at the apartment laundromat too.

do you remember yelling at me for not cutting your food how you wanted? and making me go back to the kitchen to do it again? despite the fact you're a GROWN FUCKING ADULT and could've cut your own fucking food? (or at least just ASKED NICELY????) do you remember screaming at me because i didn't want to go to a fucking birthday party? because literally all i said was "do we have to?" huh? i sure do! i sure do have recurring stress dreams about it and every other time you lashed out at me! about pretending to be asleep when you got home so you wouldn't start ordering me around! of being terrified every time something went wrong! i still panic now, with the people in my life who don't behave that way, when something goes wrong like a car issue or an item going missing! because living with you meant getting lashed out at every time something like that happened! it has done lasting fucking damage to my psyche, on top of the damage that was already there!

you say you wish i could've been honest with you. but the thing is, I WAS. MULTIPLE TIMES. multiple times i told you the way you treated me made me feel like shit, one time i even broke down crying and we had a whole talk about it. you told me you'd work on it. BUT NOTHING CHANGED. except, you decided that the way I felt made YOU feel like a monster, that you had to walk on eggshells around me - because i was SCARED OF YOU and the fact you were CONSTANTLY LASHING OUT AT ME while simultaneously ordering me around like some sort of maid/bulter/punching bag/emotional support animal.

you would WAKE ME UP FROM SLEEP to find items you lost, and then fucking lash out at me when i didn't APPEAR to be looking hard enough, or looked somewhere you already did (which i couldn't possibly have fucking known, and if i'd asked you'd ALSO snap at me). like, i get that that's a specific trigger for you, but that's NO EXCUSE for how you treated me. every time you lost something i would shut down, my heart would be pounding in fear as i desperately tried to make it look like i was searching "hard enough" or made myself look busy enough that you wouldn't yell at me. it didn't matter though. you'd find some way to take out your anxieties on me anyway.

i'm an amicable person, i try to be helpful. i would've been fine with having to help you do things, with taking care of the majority of housework (within reason), i could've dealt with it just fine if you had literally just treated me nicely.

and no, my mom didn't piss in your closet, i can tell you that for sure. that's a pretty wild conclusion to come to. it was probably the cats, because their litter box didn't get cleaned enough because i was so overwhelmed all the fucking time that i didn't clean it enough, and you never did. no idea if that changed when i left.

"it's not like you ever think about me or reached out" lol grow up with this passive aggressive bullshit. last thing i heard from you was you throwing a box of shit over the wall of my parents' place, most of which wasn't even mine, and included a poster you literally tore off the wall and an angry note about wasting the last 7 years.

so read everything i've written above again start to finish and tell me why i should've kept someone who treated me like that in my life. someone who took me for granted and took their emotions out on me and ignored my requests for better treatment SO HARD that they think i didn't even try to communicate them.

never contact me again.

[iambutmortal]

Hi darling, your Secret Santa here👋🏼

First things first, do you like Christmas cookies? If yes, which ones are your favourite?

Secondly, I always feel bad when I see your answers and cannot immediately respond to them. The struggle honestly…

But now let me tell you: we are truly mates. The answers you have given me the last time were exactly what I wanted to hear. They fit the idea I had in mind for your present soo perfectly

Now, during work today I started planning a bit further and already wrote down small bits and pieces of your gift. But I still have a few bigger questions for you now:

🎄Is in canon alright or would you prefer some alternative universe (modern au etc.)

🎅🏻 Is there maybe anything that you would love to read and no one has ever written?

Feel free to be as specific as you like ✨

🎀 And lastly…smut? Do you want the story to contain smut? Do you feel comfortable with reading smut? Or would you just prefer a whole lot of fluff? Or angst? Or two of them? Or all three of them? Or maybe something completely different?

It is fully up to you, you let me know and I'll try my best ✨

~🤍❄️

I'm honestly not a huge fan of sugar cookies, but I love frosting so meh on the Christmas cookies. Decorating them is fun though, mine always end up being like 90% buttercream.

Don't feel bad about not being able to answer, I know life is crazy around the holidays (I know mine is). Also I should probably warn you that I might be a tad bit slower to answer because some stuff just came up in my personal life but know I do really appreciate all your messages.

I'm totally fine with both canon and AU, but I do prefer when the canon sticks to canon if that makes sense. So no like messing with the timeline or crossover type fics (unless you're already working on one in which case I'm sure you could persuade me).

I can say with confidence that I'm going to love your fic, and since you haven't written it yet, I think that answers that question.

And I think my own writing makes it pretty clear that I'm down for smut all the time any time, although if that's not something you're comfortable writing don't feel obligated at all, I'll be equally happy with something nonsmutty. Fluff or angst is fine, just as long as there's a happy ending please. But I promise I'll be 100% happy with anything you write so if you've got something in mind, don't let my answers change anything.

[btsxmalereaders]

☆ Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!

♡ pairing — bang chan x male reader

> genre — fluff | f2l

> word count — 4.3k I don't know how this happened

> summary — chan realises he likes you by not being able to use pickup lines on you

> a/n — i saw a tiktok where chan says he's gonna use a pickup line on felix and my love-deprived self ended up writing this lol i hope you all like it

| 05282021

| Please keep making more whosfan accounts and keep streaming WOLFGANG on the correct platforms!

"Hey, how you doin'?" Chan casually says as he enters the kitchen, trying not to grin and start giggling right away. He even places his hands over the table and tilts his head a little in an attempt to look confident. Felix takes his attention away from the food he is cooking and turns on his feet to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Good?" He answers with an air of suspicion. "Why?"

Chan finally lets out a small giggle, "Oh nothing, I was just thinking that... I am not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

And Felix thinks it's a creative pickup line, funny even, but what ends up making him laugh is the way his best friend bends over to start laughing louder and the way his cheeks turn reddish at the embarrassment he's probably feeling.

"That was a good one, I must say," He chuckles. "Not as great as the Optimus Fine one, though. Even if it made you laugh for ten minutes after you said it."

And Chan can only laugh harder at the remembrance, placing his hands over his slightly aching abdomen and gasp for air when he can't handle it anymore. Felix giggles as well and denies with his head, going back to stir what's on the pot.

"Stays keep getting creative when it comes to flirting with you," He speaks again as the laughter finally dies down. "They probably think you might use it on someone you like, and you're here almost crying because you use them on us."

Chan hums, "Well, I don't really like anyone right now."

Felix turns off the stove and makes a -dramatic- pause, turning again to face Chan as he gets closer and squints his eyes. "I don't believe it."

"What?" Chan laughs. "Why would I lie?"

"I don't know, but I don't buy it. Maybe it's the love songs you have as drafts in your laptop."

"Ah, that doesn't mean I'm in love," He explains and takes a seat in front of him, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "That's why they're still drafts, though. They don't convey the feeling of being in love because I am not in love, you know?"

"Good point, but it still doesn't convince me."

"Why?" He asks again with a chuckle, a little embarrassed by the sudden interest in his - nonexistent - love life. "You know our activities barely give us time for ourselves, so it's almost impossible to have a relationship with someone. At least a formal one."

"You can still like someone and not be with them." Felix shrugs. "So spill it. Who is it?"

And Chan knows he's just messing around with him, but he can't help but feel flustered. "No one! I think so." He almost says it in a whisper; however, Felix doesn't comment on it.

"I still want to listen to those drafts," He stands up and smiles. "Why don't you show me?"

This was not the way Chan expected the conversation to go, so he hesitates a bit about his friend's request. Well, it wasn't unusual anyway, at least Changbin had heard a couple and also helped in the composition of the songs, so having someone else hear them wouldn't hurt. He might even listen to ideas on his part to improve them.

"Okay, I can do that. Next week Y/N will come to the studio and work on something, why don't you pop-up at some point and I can show you?"

Felix nods, "Sounds good! Y/N asked for help for his new album?"

"Yeah, he wants me to listen to some tracks he has been working on." He casually comments, taking his phone from his pocket and leading his attention to the device, so now Felix can't see the slight blush on his cheeks.

"Hm, I haven't seen him in a while. Why hasn't he come to the dorm lately? We should invite him."

"He has been busy with his album, that's why. If you think I leave late from the studio, that's nothing compared to him, he truly spends an ungodly amount of time there."

"So you see him often?" Felix asks with sudden interest, now being aware of how Chan's ears are tinted pink.

"You could say that, yeah. He also spends time on my studio whenever he has the chance. And vice-versa." He shrugs, not finding it odd. You two were really good friends, so it was a normal thing for you to do. "Why?"

"Nothing, I was just curious." He mischievously laughs. "So, next week, you said?"

After a quick glance at the time on your phone, you decide to stand up and stretch your body. It's been a long time since you started working, and you still have a lot to do; and on top of it all, the progress you've made tonight doesn't totally convince you, and that just meant you'd be spending more time in the studio.

As you take your phone again to read your notes, a notification pops up on the top. You weren't supposed to meet up with Chan until later, but in the new message you just received, he tells you that he's free from working on his stuff and you could go earlier if you wanted.

You decide to go; after all, it was nearly impossible for you to concentrate again, and you truly needed to know what does he think about the tracks you sent him a few days ago to finally make an advance. So you grab your laptop after making sure you've saved the changes and the cup of half-drunk coffee, walking out to the long hall and taking the elevator to an upper floor.

The soles of your shoes are dragged across the floor all the way to the studio's door, where you softly knock a couple of times before remembering you already know the password to enter. Your fingers press the buttons, entering code you know by heart at this point, and the door quickly unlocks, making Chan to look your way and greet you with a smile.

"Hey, how have you been?" He sweetly says, seeing you entering the room and placing your belongings on top of the big desk in front of you and taking a seat on the couch behind him.

"Busy. And tired." You murmur and let out a sigh. Chan immediately plays a song at a low volume and takes seat next to you.

"You're still struggling with the track you told me about?"

You nod as an answer and pout, "I am desperate. It's like, no matter how many times I rewrite the lyrics or change the beats, it still doesn't convince me at all and I hate it."

"I get it," He sighs. "But don't worry about it, I'm here to help you out."

And Chan isn't someone who breaks his promises, so the following hours are spent listening to your music, carefully reading everything you've written so far, listening to your ideas and giving you advice.

In between work, he tells you every other joke to make you laugh and feel at least a bit less stressed; and it works wonderfully since he has a long list of dad jokes that take you off guard, plus his laughter is contagious, so not laughing with him is impossible.

It's no surprise that his advice and opinions are so accurate to the point of clearing your mind and helping you out of your creative block. Chan has always been hard-working and so good with words that every time you engage him in conversations, you feel more relaxed and less burdened. No matter what situation you had a problem with, Chan would always help you find the best solution for it. Maybe that's why you admire him so much, maybe it was one of the many reasons why you didn't hesitate for a second to go to him and find security in his presence and words... Maybe it was one of the thousands of reasons why you had romantic feelings towards him...

"Is it better now?" His voice takes you out of your thoughts. He's sweetly smiling at you; he probably realized you got lost on the way his lips were moving as he told you his thoughts on the recent draft of your song.

"Yeah, yes, honestly, you've helped me so much. I don't know what I'd do without you." You smile and go for a quick hug, taking the opportunity to ruffle his hair. Your fingers sliding between his soft and messy curls and making him fondly smile in the process. "You're my hero. I mean it."

Chan chuckles and can't keep his eyes off you as you type something on your laptop and hum. He recalls the conversation he had last week with Felix, and that ambiguous feeling settling on his chest makes him wonder if, after all, his friend was right. He doesn't remember when was the last time he felt the urge to hold someone in between his arms and dearly appreciate, and he wants to know why he smiles and feels his stomach tickling when he sees you.

Maybe it's because you spend a lot of time with him, a voice inside his head says. But he doesn't feel this way with any other friend.

Maybe it's because you have known him for a long time and you just appreciate him a lot, the voice tries again. Maybe. He finally gives in at the last thought. He'd have to figure it out.

His phone buzzes inside the pocket of his jeans and he takes it, knowing for sure it's a message from Felix.

"Felix is arriving in a few minutes." He murmurs, making you take your eyes off the screen. "He wants to listen to some songs I have, is that okay?"

"Of course, it's your studio, silly." You giggle. "I am almost done with this, so if you're gonna be busy I can go back to m-"

"You can stay, if you want to." He quickly adds. "Plus, he says he wants to see you, you know... He misses you." Chan laughs. He wasn't lying, but that wasn't the only reason he wanted you to stay.

"Okay! Sure, I haven't heard from him in a while, either." You nod and keep making changes on the file you have open.

Just as he said, Felix enters the room just a few minutes later, smiling brightly and immediately running to give you a big hug once he sees you.

Soon, the room was filled with laughter and long conversations to catch up on everything around your lives. Felix tells you about the new pastries he baked last week and that he was waiting for you to come around and bake with him, the new video game Jeongin bought and has been playing with Hyunjin, the new songs Changbin and Jisung have been working on and how Seungmin was learning to play piano, playing songs at night for everyone at the dorm.

"And you know? Chan hyung has gotten better at flirting." He laughs as the latter gives him a threatening glare. "He can't stop saying pickup lines whenever he has the chance."

"Ah, really?" You chortle. "You haven't said one in all the time we've been here."

"Well, we've been working, and I've told you many other jokes... Besides, it's not like I come up with them out of nowhere."

"Yes, you do!" Felix says. "You do that all the time, what are you talking about?"

You glance at Chan, who's currently blushing and at the loss of words. Felix, on the other hand, seems to be happy to see what he just provoked. And he'd definitely enjoy every part of it.

"I want to hear one! C'mooon!" You laugh. "Please?"

Chan rolls his eyes and tries to look confident as he would normally do. He clears his throat and thinks of a good pickup line he hasn't used yet.

"Alright," He says and smiles, he even thinks it's gonna start laughing before even opening his mouth, but the very moment he looks into your eyes, it's like he forgot every single word on his vocabulary. "Uhm, are you, no. Did you-? Wait! I forgot what I was gonna say-"

Felix can't help but burst into laughter, and you only look at him, as if you couldn't believe it. Was he nervous or was it because of the fact that Felix was in the same room? Would it have been any different if he weren't there?

You end up laughing at Felix's loud laughter, as well as seeing Chan blushing up to his ears and hiding his face behind his hands, probably also in an attempt to cover the huge grin he now has.

"Wow, that was an epic failure. And I thought you were the biggest flirt on earth." Felix teases him, to which Chan ends up groaning.

He continues talking about other stuff while Chan stops feeling embarrassed, even though he's not able to look in your eyes for the entire time until you have to go back to work.

You close your laptop and stand up, throwing the now empty cup of coffee on the trash bin. After thanking Chan for his help and promising Felix you'd drop by their dorm soon, you walk out of the studio with a smile and feeling your heart beating fast. There was no way you didn't have feelings for him.

"Oh my god, so I was right!" Felix says a few seconds after you left. Chan's first instinct is to cover his face again. "Look who got nervous so suddenly."

"Stop, I- I don't even want to talk about it." He murmurs, feeling flustered and avoiding Felix's gaze. He types something on his laptop and presses the play button, hoping that this way, his friend would forget about what just happened and could focus solely on the music.

And Felix doesn't talk about it anymore. The next few minutes are set by the music coming out of the speakers; the room filling with Chan's voice, singing the love songs that probably no one else would listen to. Felix seems to be concentrating on the lyrics, but Chan's thoughts are solely about you. As he listens to the songs, he is aware of how his skin bristles every time his hands accidentally touch you, the times when your eyes connect with his and you give him smiles every time it happens, all those times when his heart would race when he hugged you.... It's as if all those songs that professed a love he said he didn't feel, started to make sense.

He feels overwhelmed. Maybe if he was aware of it before, maybe if he listened to his heart instead of his head, this wouldn't be a big revelation to him.

Chan pauses the music, and before Felix can ask what's going on, he speaks up: "Why- why did I do that?"

"Did... what, exactly?" Felix asks, confused.

"The pickup line thing!" He blurts out. "I mean, I do that all the time, right? Why did I just forget how to even talk?"

Felix giggles, "Well, have you considered it's because when you use those pickup lines on us you just do it for laughing? To joke around with us, and with Y/N it's because... I don't know, you have feelings for him and it gets real? Like you're flirting with him."

Makes sense, he thinks. He remains in silence for a moment, processing everything that just happened and finally connecting the dots.

"Wait, you just had your epiphany?" Felix jokes. "It took you too, too long."

"I can barely fall asleep, how was I supposed to know I was falling in love?"

"Fair enough." He says, comprehensive. "Are you telling him?"

"Should I?" Chan's eyes sparkle, but he still feels confused. Should he even try? It's been so long since he last felt this way about someone, and given the circumstances of his life as an idol, he felt more reluctant to take the next step. Even more, considering he had just taken the first one by accepting his feelings a few minutes ago.

"I was right all this time by you being in love," He says. "And I am also sure that it's mutual. I've seen you two for a while, you know? I am surprised you didn't come the realization way earlier than this."

Chan giggles. "Alright, I get it."

"But it's up to you now, I guess. All I know is that you deserve to be happy, and you deserve good things... And Y/N is a great person. You should give yourself an opportunity on love."

Chan feels chills as he hears those words. Tonight's even have been too much for him to process, so he'll think deeply about it later.

"Okay," He nods. "Thanks, Lix. You've been really helpful."

"I know, what would you do without me?" Felix laughs. "Now let's keep listening to the songs, I am loving all of them."

Fortunately, the help Chan gave you really made it possible for you to finish the songs in no time. You are just now walking out of a meeting with your managers and the people in charge of the release of the album to set the final details, and you quickly send a message to Chan to let him know the news.

In the meantime, you drop by your studio to clean up a little and maybe write down some ideas for new songs that have been in your mind for a while. After a few minutes, you hear a knock on the door, snapping you out of your thoughts and then feeling confused. You weren't expecting anyone to come. So you slowly open the door, and a smile spreads across your face the moment you realize it's Chan.

"Oh, hi!" You greet him with a hug, immediately letting him in afterwards. He shyly gets inside, taking a seat on a chair and placing a bag on the small table behind him. "What brings you here? I thought you were still busy with you guys upcoming album."

"It's okay, Changbin is working on his stuff now at the studio, so I took the chance to come here and celebrate with you!" He grins. "Congratulations on making your first self-produced album!"

He starts clapping, making you smile; he truly was the sweetest person you've ever met.

As soon as he read your message he went to the nearby cafeteria and bought your favorite drink and pastries, claiming that it was a special occasion and should be celebrated.

"For all your hard work and the success of this album!" He makes a toast as he raises his cup of tea.

Soon you find yourselves immersed in a long conversation about everything that went into creating this album; from when you had the first idea for the concept, to those sleepless nights when he helped you without hesitation. Chan was definitely an essential part of this whole process, so to be celebrating with him right now felt right. It was how it should be.

"You know," Chan clears his throat as another song starts playing. "These past days I've had this thought in my head, and after talking it out with Felix... I am certain about it. And I want to tell you about it. I know I have to."

You frown, feeling curiosity, especially since his semblance has changed to be a bit more serious. He still has a small smile that gives you some kind of tranquility, but another part of you can't help but feel nervous as he gets a little bit closer.

"Of course, what is it?"

"So, uhm" He starts. "Some weeks ago, when Felix came to the studio and we were talking with you... Well, the reason he came was because he wanted to listen to some love songs I've worked on. And, after listening to all of them I figured out why I didn’t like them. I was sure I wasn't in love. That's why, to me, they all sounded plain and didn’t convey the feeling of love... But then..."

He makes a pause, catching his breath as he feels more and more nervous. He knows for sure his ears and cheeks are red right now, and it's impossible that you haven't noticed it. His hands slightly shake behind the table, anxiously looking for yours, but refraining from doing it because he doesn't know how this was going to end. You don't want to interrupt him, so you give him his time to clear his head and talk again.

"While listening to those songs, the only thought I had in mind was you." He finally confesses, with his gaze now fixed on his lap. "I guess that for a while I didn’t realise that I started to, uhm, catch feelings for you. And, it's okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I just really wanted to let you know because the thought has been on my mind for so long and I needed to let it out."

For a moment, the only thing that can be heard in the room is your voice coming from the speakers along with a sigh from Chan, who still didn’t dare to look up and face you.

"So... what you're saying is..." You speak up, feeling incredibly shy, trying to process the words addressed to you.

"What I am trying to say is that I am in love with you."

And you swear you could start screaming to the top of your lungs right now, but you try your very best to stay calm and finally grab Chan's hands. With that, he looks at you again.

"Channie," You softly say, looking at him in his precious eyes and dearly smiling. You don't even know where to begin, but a voice inside you begs for you to give him a hug. So you open your arms and embrace him tightly, feeling instant comfort and love. "I am so glad you feel this way too. I love you too."

Chan sighs in relief, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you closer; his nose pressed against the crook of your neck and closes his eyes, melting between your arms and enjoying every single second of that gesture.

"Wait a minute," You say out of nowhere, so he separates a bit from you and tilts his head. "That's why you couldn't even say a sentence when you tried to say a pickup line?"

You laugh when his expression changes to look ashamed, his lips frowned in a pout and his gaze avoiding your eyes again.

"Try again, I'm sure you're good at this." And Chan's head only comes up with the dozens of lines he has read, but seeing you smiling right in front of him and your arms over his shoulders, he can only think how lucky he is. He can't possibly say anything to you. "Alright, let me try instead."

You hum and recall all the pickup lines you've read and have been told before, "Hm, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll return it."

And you expected Chan to start laughing out loud, instead he starts blushing again and giggling, covering his face as he feels nervous.

"C'mon! Seriously?" You laugh and wait for him to stop being shy.

"You make me nervous, give me time." He excuses himself and laughs some more. "That was a good one, and you know what? You can borrow all the kisses you want, as long as you keep your word and return them."

"See? That's what I'm talking about!"

Chan fondly smiles at you, placing his hand on your head to pet your hair for a moment. You close your eyes as he does it, feeling his soft touch traveling all the way down to your chin. He rests his thumb on your cheek and after a few seconds you decide to open your eyes.

"Can I?" He murmurs as his gaze shifts from your eyes to your lips.

"You don't even have to ask."

And just as you give him permission, he breaks the distance between you two. He starts carefully, placing his lips against yours in a tender, chaste way, barely there pressure that makes you exhale through your nose as if you had been holding your breath all along. One of his hands still holds you by the waist, so he takes the opportunity to slide it to your lower back, carefully holding you and sending you shivers to your entire body.

You lean forward barely a few millimeters, but it's enough to feel more pressure over your lips. Chan angles his head and traps your bottom lip, tongue trying to dart out of his mouth to taste more of the sweetness of yours. He, however, contains himself and smiles in between the kiss, instead. He was probably gonna be the death of you.

The deep kiss loses intensity as a minute passes by, so you two end up giving smaller kisses and share smiles, your noses constantly touching in skimo kisses. And you think it's perfect; it's way better than what you one day imagined.

Chan can't miss the chance to make you sit on his lap, so now your head rests over his chest. Your fingers fidgeting the hem of his hoodie and shyly longing to intertwine your hands.

"Hey, Y/N?" He grabs your attention and smiles. "Are you a parking ticket?"

You raise an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because you've got fine written all over you." He ends up with a muffled laughter.

"Oh no, what did I just get myself into?" You joke around, this time finally making him burst into a louder laughter. "You just declared war on me about pickup lines, you know?"

"Oh, so you got some lines, too? Can't wait to hear all of them, then."

And for the rest of the day you let yourself be held in between the arms of the person you loved the most. Later you'd find the way to flirt with him and make him feel flustered when he least expects it.

[pwarkluv]

❝ what is love? - l.mk ❞

lee mark x reader | fluff | 2k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, love at first sight au, 6thmemberofitzy!reader, shy!mark and shy!reader, fluff bc that’s what i’m best at LOL, another request :), just enjoy <3

REQUEST | “hii i read ur electric love fic w jisung and i really loved it :DD could you do the same for mark ? still as the 6th member of itzy ofc :D” - my lovely anon <3

SUMMARY | he wonders what is love, but finds the answer in you.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “what is love” by twice (english lyrics by genius translations)! ANOTHER REQUEST HDSFKLDSJHF IM SO SO SO SO EXCITED! i wanted to change up the setting so it’s still 6th member itzy, but not in weekly idol :P ALSO this was inspired by when nct dream, itzy, and stray kids sat next to each each other in that one award show so yeah lolol. IM SO SORRY I LOST THE MESSAGE WHERE MY ANON ASKED FOR IT BUT I STILL WROTE IT FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, NEVER BE SHY TO DM ME ;)

what is love?

mark knew the general idea of it; the sappy moments movies show, the “butterflies in your stomach” feeling books portray, the pain and hardships songs make you feel. 

but he’s never been in love, at least not like this.

❝ how could it be as sweet as candy? ❞

training at such a young age molded mark into the perfect idol, and with that he was fully aware dating would look bad to the public. he accepted the fact that he might never find love, all to help achieve his dream. 

but as cheesy as it sounds, the canadian wished to be loved. 

yes he was loved by his members, his family, his friends, his fans; but the type of love he longed for was something none of them could give him. 

mark wanted to feel the sweetness of being in love, the giddiness you’d feel whenever you talk to them, the pounding of your heart whenever they’re near. he wanted to experience the overwhelming need to be with that person, like if they’re gone for too long it’s like you can’t breathe.

was being in love like making a song for the very first time? or was it like eating watermelon all the time?

so many questions with no answers, the boy left to wander in his own thoughts. 

❝ how it’s like flying in the sky? ❞

he smiled bittersweetly as the newly wed couple danced around in confetti, the sound of laughter and cheers resonating around the room. one of nct’s managers that had been with them since the beginning invited them to her wedding, to which the team obviously accepted. 

all 23 of them were happy for their noona who found her happy ending. mark could only watch in awe at the sight of the two lovebirds, the love and adoration for the other evident in the way they looked at each other.

his heart tugged a bit knowing he wanted something like that too. 

“being in love is like flying in the sky.” his manager explained to the boy as a makeup artist experimentally brushed strokes on her face. it was a couple hours before the ceremony when mark knocked on her hotel door, wanting to visit his favorite noona before she finally said ‘i do’. 

his question left his mouth before mark could fully register what he was about to say, the poor boy flushing a bit as the woman laughed at him. 

“are you in love mark? is that why you’re asking me how i knew i was in love?” she teased as mark stutterd, denying her accusation.

“n-no i swear!” he said as his manager continued laughing, the makeup artist having to pause a bit to let her get it all out. “i’m just curious.” mark said quietly trying to stop the heat from rushing up to his cheeks. 

“well being in love is a magical feeling.” the woman said, turning a bit serious. mark sat up straight as he listened intently. “when you realize you love someone, it can be a scary thing. love isn’t perfect mark, and i want you to know that. there are moments where you want to scream and rip your hair out, or cry to let it all out.”

the boy nodded in understanding, having a bit of knowledge from all the good breakup songs taylor swift writes about. 

“but it can also change your whole world.” she continued on. “it’s like seeing the world again for the very first time and the colors are more vibrant. it’s like having a permanent reason to be happy, and a reason to stay.” she explained as the mark sat quietly trying to comprehend it all. 

❝ i wanna know know know know, what is love? ❞

the poor boy’s head couldn’t wrap around the thought of you. 

his heart hammered in his chest as he secretly glanced at you, desperately trying to avoid suspicion from fans and his members. you were just too breathtaking, having the canadian looking back for more. 

the moment he first laid eyes on you, it was like an epiphany. you were the answer to all his questions.

so this is what it feels like, mark thinks to himself as he looks back on all the things he’s heard about love. 

the butterflies, the pounding of your heart, the “seeing the world in a whole new perspective”, mark felt everything and as much as he felt excited, he was scared.

as harmless as it sounds, award shows were a risky thing for idols. being surrounded by fans of different groups as well as said groups themselves always seemed to cause a bit of a stir between fans.

between dating rumors and rumors about beef between two idols, anything could happen.

but usually mark would be okay. he’s been doing this for a long time and knew how to behave.

however what he didn’t expect was to see you, the tiny rookie idol from the newly debuted girl group ‘itzy’. 

nct 127’s table was right next to yours which let mark have a clear view of your pretty eye smile as you laughed at something lia had whispered into your ear. your laugh was bubbly and contagious, the boy having to physically stop himself from wanting to laugh too. 

he was panicking, but mark couldn’t tell if it was in a good or bad way. 

❝ what does love feel like? ❞

your breath hitched as you saw the boy sneak glances at you from the corner of your eye.

the mark lee was looking at you, your heart racing as you tried to deny the fact that he was staring you down. there was no way the dude you’ve looked up to your entire trainee life is noticing you, no way at all.  

everyone has heard of mark lee even if you weren’t into kpop. he was just that iconic. 

you’ve been an nctzen since the very beginning, being there for nct u’s debut stage. in fact, nct was the very reason you decided to audition to become an idol in the first place. you looked up to the team but more importantly you looked up to a certain canadian in the group.

originally doyoung was your bias in nct when nct u first came out. but as the years passed by you found yourself more and more intrigued by mark, having him absolutely wreck your bias list.

since then you’ve been a loyal mark stan, even rapping his part in cherry bomb for your audition tape which ultimately led you to become an idol yourself. 

you refused to believe you were in love with the dude, not knowing a single thing about him. there was no way you could love him, not if you’ve never even met the boy.

but your heart seemed to prove you wrong as it beat wildly knowing mark was sitting right there on the table next to you. 

“you okay bubs?” lia asked in a worried tone, leaning in to whisper into your ear. she saw the way your leg bounced in a fast rhythm, knowing you only did that when you were nervous. 

you forced a smile as you hesitantly looked her way, knowing that she could take one look into your eyes and know you were lying. “i'm fine unnie, don’t worry about me.” you replied as sweetly as you could, wishing the elder wouldn’t notice a thing. 

though you two and yeji were the eldest in the group, all being born in the year 2000, you were the baby of the unnie line. lia and yeji knew you the best, having grown up with you after all. 

the girl only gave you a look before taking your hand in hers to give a soft squeeze. “i know you’re lying but i won’t push you. also mark lee from nct 127 is totally checking you out.” lia said, whispering a bit on the last part. she winked as you flushed, looking away in horror. 

-

johnny nudged the boy next to him with a small smirk, clearly seeing the heart eyes he was giving the girl in the table next to them. mark jumped a bit at the feeling, looking at his hyung with confusion.

“so y/n of itzy?” johnny said with a small smile as the younger immediately sat up straight. 

“is it that obvious?” mark whispered back with a hint of fear in his eyes.

if any of the fans were to get a hold of this… the boy could only shiver at the thought. 

johnny’s playful smile dropped a bit at mark’s worried look knowing how he must feel. they were idols after all.

“don’t worry, i only noticed because she was looking back at you too.” he said, mark flushing at the revelation.

“really?” he asked a little out of it. 

“i say talk to her after this?” the elder said, laughing a bit when mark jumped in his seat, immediately saying no. 

❝ will love come to me someday? ❞

“unnie why are you making me stay in the dressing room~” you whined as the end of the award show came along.

you just wanted to go home, your body worn out. not from all the dancing but from the way it viciously pounded in your chest whenever you ever thought about mark. 

lia only smirked in retaliation as she brought a hand up to squish your cheeks. “trust me, you’ll thank me later.” she said as she walked out of the dressing room, bumping into a 6 foot tall boy with a smaller boy behind him. 

“oops sorry.” she said a little playfully, as lia gave a wink to johnny knowing their plan was going accordingly. johnny only gave her a small smile, but if you looked closely you could see the mischief in his eyes. 

“hyung where are we going?” mark asked, a little weirded out by the two’s interaction. johnny only ignored the boy, dragging him by his arm as they walked down the hallway. 

“hyung i swear if this is a prank i’ll-” mark’s words were cut off as the two entered a door, only to see your confused face staring back at him. 

“oh shit.” he cursed under his breath, a little taken aback from how beautiful you were. one whole award show later and you were still as gorgeous as when he first saw you sitting down in the table next to his. 

your confused face quickly turned to an embarrassed one as you noticed the boy, turning another shade of red when you noticed he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“hi y/n, my name is johnny and this is my band mate mark.” the taller boy said, holding his hand out in a handshake. 

“h-hi i’m y/n.” you stuttered, not expecting to see the boy you’ve been daydreaming about for the past two hours to be right in front of you. 

mark gawked at the sight of you, his mind malfunctioning as the words seemed to get stuck at the tip of his tongue.

“markie right here has something he wants to ask you.” johnny said, pushing the younger in front of him with a grunt. 

this seemed to knock him right out of his trance, a hand coming up to the back of his neck as he stared down at the floor with pink cheeks.

“do you maybe wanna-”

“yes.” you blurted out, a hand covering your mouth in shock. “i-if you were gonna ask if i wanted to hang out sometime, the answer is yes.” you said a little shyly as the boy smiled. 

all this time mark thought he was gonna find love, but maybe love found him instead. 

“i’ll pick you up at 6 tomorrow evening.” mark said with a sweet smile as he took a step back only to be pushed back up again by johnny.

“you don’t even have her number you dumbass.” the elder scolded, disappointed at how dumb the boy was. 

your laughter caught both of the boy’s attention as you put your hand out with a small smile. “you want my number or nah?”

[blindbeta]

Quick question: Would you consider a story where a bling character's vision improves (through visual rehabilitation and the like) but they still remain blind to be okay or would you consider it bad representation? Because I read about that sort of thing while researching different types of blindness for a character I'm making, but I'm not sure if writing this sort of thing would be the right call.

Blind Character Regaining Some Vision

On top of not knowing enough about the topic, I don’t have enough information in the question to provide a good response. I will try to help as best I can.

I wanted to provide some things to consider when writing about this topic. Hopefully it will help not only this person, but anyone seeking similar answers in the future.

Before we start, it may be the term you used, but when I try to research, I only find visual rehabilitation to mean adapting to vision loss and helping people increase their quality of life in whatever way they need.

Consider the Cause of Blindness

I assume the asker has already researched this. However, I think it will be beneficial for others who are reading.

There are many causes of blindness. Several are preventable. Some are treatable. Some forms of blindness have no cure as of 2022. Consider which you are writing about.

Writing a character’s vision improving will cause very different reactions if the character has Retinitis Pigmentosa, which does not have a cure as of 2022, compared to cataracts, which can be treatable.

How Will Their Vision Change?

It is helpful to consider how the character’s vision will change. The bigger the change, the harder the adjustment. Are you considering having them go from totally blind to sighted? Low vision to slightly better vision? Blurry vision to a little more clear?

You mentioned having the character remain blind. For those who don’t know, blindness is a spectrum. A blind character’s vision can change over time, such as remaining vision that decreases with age or an acute condition.

Where Is The Setting?

The setting matters. Suppose your character lives in a rural area with limited or no access to eye care. It would be fine to give them access to that in a story set in our world or a world similar to ours. However, sending a blind character to a different planet to get a magical operation that doesn’t have a real-life parallel is probably not the best way to go if you’re concerned with representing blind characters well.

Is This a Cure?

How it is presented in the story matters. Does the character consider it a cure? Is the character’s goal to find a cure? What about their loved ones, side characters, medical professionals? Does the story itself consider vision changes to be a cure?

Writing about vision improving is not necessarily a negative thing. For example, characters with conditions that cause pain may want to be free of it. Characters who experience dizziness or disorientation may hope to feel better. This is why I wonder what caused the character’s blindness in the first place and a treatment for it exists in real life/

However, focusing on improving vision in order to cure the character has negative connotations even if the character still remains on the blind spectrum. This depends on how the story presents the vision changes, how the blind character feels about them, and how the audience is meant to feel.

It can be a more nuanced subject than many people anticipate.

What Does This Add to the Story?

Consider what this adds to the story. What are the motivations for including it? Are there other ways you could get the character where they need to be?

Will this cost the character money? Time? What about physical or emotional pain?

Will this character still be considered blind in the end of the story?

Final Thoughts

With this type of story, I think it is best to consider the message as well as your blind audience. While I can’t speak for everyone , I know the cure trope has many problems and has lead to many negative feelings for blind audiences. The reception would depend on how close a story is to a cure story.

The character remaining blind at the end would certainly help.

The best advice I can give to the asker and to anyone writing a similar story is to seek out a few blind people to read the story. I would also advise making sure the character’s blindness is actually treatable in real life. With a question like this, I can’t give a yes or no answer, as much as I can ever do so on this blog.

I hope this helps.

Edit: Here is an addition from a visually impaired person who shared their experience of visual rehabilitation.

Here is something I found on the World Health Organization’s page on blindness and vision impairment:

“Vision rehabilitation is very effective in improving functioning for people with an irreversible vision impairment that can be caused by eye conditions such as diabetic retinopathy, glaucoma, consequences of trauma and age-related macular degeneration.”

This post has been cross-posted onto WordPress. It can be read here.

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Float Like A Butterfly... Chapter 5: So Last Season

Summary: Now that Adrien is no longer Chat Noir he doesn't have to get hit all the time. Unfortunately, his luck doesn't seem to have gotten the memo... Or has it?

------------------------------

"So, how're you holding up?"

"Please, Adrien, it's my mother! I'm positively ecstatic!"

"Exactly. It's your mother."

Chloe looked down for a second before her eyes snapped back up, any doubts she had hidden in an instant. "She's finally coming back! I'll finally be able to show her what she's been missing." Chloe tossed her ponytail back to emphasize the unspoken Me. "Now, I've gotta go. Sabrina insisted we do an 'emotional support routine' or whatever beforehand. Ciao!"

Sighing, Adrien stared at his phone for a moment before putting it down. He knew Chloe was grateful for Sabrina's help but it was still a struggle getting her to admit it.

Or getting her to admit how much Audrey had hurt her.

It was one thing to travel halfway around the world for your career and leave your daughter behind. It was something else entirely to completely ignore her. In all the years since Audrey left Chloe hadn't received a single birthday gift, phone call or text message. Adrien would know. Chloe would've bragged about it endlessly if her mother had taken so much as two seconds to acknowledged her existence-

Adrien's foot jerked, striking the vanity table and making the connected mirror tremble. Heart suddenly pounding against his chest as tension built up in his forehead. Distressed expression reflecting back at him.

Breathe, Adrien. Breathe.

Slowly, he inhaled.

Then exhaled.

Again.

Good.

He was okay.

Adrien was okay.

Guilt pricked like a thorn for thinking of his own problems when Chloe needed him. Adrien crushed it with his anger and annoyance but it was still there. Like a splinter that wouldn't come out.

I hate you.

Swiping out of the video chat Adrien tapped on Nino's number. It rang... and rang... and rang...

He's annoyed with me. I did something wrong again and Nino doesn't want to-

Adrien smacked both sides of his face. No, dummy! Nino's just busy or something. Stop that!

It wasn't every day a teenage DJ provided the music for Paris Fashion Week, after all. Nino had to make sure all his equipment was working properly.

The door to his dressing room burst open.

"Adrien, your friend Mlle. Dupain-Cheng will be bringing the last article of the new Gabriel line," Nathalie announced. "Your father expects everything to be perfect for Audrey Bourgeois."

"Doesn't he always?" Adrien deadpanned.

Nathalie stared at his watery eyes before typing something into her tablet. "Your performance on catwalks only has a 99% success rate. He expects you'll do better."

Father thinks you're a failure just like everyone else. He-

Shut up! Adrien felt something heavy settle in his chest.

One of the makeup artists came rushing in and Nathalie gestured her towards Adrien. "Touch up his eyes," she instructed and then left.

Jaw clenching, Adrien sat perfectly still as the makeup artist did her job. He was never entirely sure what the staff thought about him. 'Professional' was a word that was tossed around a lot. That used to fill him with a little pride... Before all of this.

The last person to suggest that a thirteen year old mourning his mother wasn't 'professional' so much as he was 'depressed' had never come back to work... Oh. Adrien had forgotten about that.

Finishing quickly, the makeup artist left too. Leaving Adrien with his thoughts. He didn't want to be with his thoughts at the moment. They were distracting and Nathalie had not been subtle.

I hate-

His phone vibrated as it received someone's text.

Ni-Non: hey dude!

Ni-Non: it's crazy over here man

Ni-Non: break a leg! ;)

Adrien smiled as his unpleasant mood faded to the back of his mind... And if he saw similarities between his family and Chloe's, well, that's why he could empathize with her.

Adrien: That's theater but I guess there's not much difference.

Adrien: Thanks. ^_^

 ---------------

There was a knock at his door. Adrien stopped fidgeting in the awkward suit to go answer it.

"Hello, Marinette." Adrien smiled in greeting.

"Oh, uh, hello!" Marinette gave a small wave as she stepped up the short stairs and-

Adrien braced himself with one foot while his hands went to her shoulders. Steadying Marinette as she quickly removed her weight from him.

"Oh! Uh, sorry." Marinette looked away in embarrassment at having tripped into him.

"... No worries!" Adrien smiled as he shook his head. Marinette seemed... subdued. Reaching down to pick up the hat that had fallen. "Oh, no." The artificial feather Marinette made for his allergies had come loose. "I hope it's not too hard to fix it."

Marinette looked down. "Uh, y'know, it doesn't really matter. This hat is a complete failure anyway."

"What? No, it's not!" Adrien rose to his feet quickly in shock. "Why would you say that?"

"Because... the queen of fashion, Audrey Bourgeois, saw it and hated it!" Marinette's hands covered her face, voice breaking. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I really messed up. I'm a total no talent!" Her arms wrapped around herself in a hug. "Please, don't put it on," she pleaded.

Adrien's heart went out to Marinette as she laid her insecurities bare. "Marinette, everything's going to be fine." He searched for the proper spot to reattach the feather,  fiddling with it as Adrien reassured her. "Your hat looks great. I think it's awesome and so does... my father." Adrien cleared his throat as he managed to fix her hat. "Otherwise he wouldn't have picked it for me. Look!"

Putting Marinette's hat on Adrien walked across the dressing room like he was already performing. Striking a few poses to ease Marinette's anxiety. "See?"

It seemed to work as Marinette gave a small smile. "You got that catwalk down," she complimented.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. "Really? Thank you."

"Ah-hem," Nathalie cleared her throat. "We have to go." Without waiting for Marinette she turned on her heel and started walking towards the viewing area.

Adrien rolled his eyes but smiled at Marinette's back as she hurried to catch up. Turning back to look at himself in the mirror Adrien scanned his outfit. The suit may have been generic and a few seams too close to last year's entry but Marinette's hat was fire.

"Okay!" Adrien was gonna go out there and make sure they recognized Marinette's talent!

---------------

Holding Marinette's hat to his chest Adrien stuck his head out in a decidedly 'unprofessional' manner. Spotting Marinette's family and a bunch of his friends in the first row. Adrien's blond head caught Nino's eye from across the catwalk and he gave him a thumbs up.

Adrien waved as he ducked back behind the corner before the photographers could take any pictures of the Agreste heir acting like a kid.

You got this, Adrien. Nino's DJ-ing, your classmates came -even though most of them don't care about fashion- with any luck Alix and Kim will tease you about it for the next month.

That would give Adrien the opportunity to dish out a bunch of jokes he never got the chance to use!

The music started; that was his cue.

You got this!

Adrien posed on the runway. Camera flashes already starting. Strutting down the catwalk Adrien smirked at Marinette. See? Stopping at the platform's end he posed in various angles for the photographers. Nino seemed to be enjoying himself too and that made Adrien's smile come much more naturally.

A small eruption boomed behind him and Adrien turned to see Hawkmoth's latest fashion disaster. Gasping, as his heart started hammering in his chest.

"A fashion show without the Queen of Style!? Glitter-ally unacceptable!" The akuma villain announced. "Where's that ungrateful Gabriel Agreste. I demand that he kneels before me!"

Ugh, what has he done now?

"My father isn't here," Adrien snapped in annoyance. Hearing people running for the exits.

"Well, then. If fashion disaster daddy isn't here I'll just have to settle for Agreste Junior! You're fired!"

Adrien's eyes widened as he stepped back. Golden glitter exploding everywhere as his body became numb and his senses dark-

-Glowing ladybugs swirled around him as Adrien had the disorienting feeling of laying  down when he could've sworn he'd been standing. Glancing around, Adrien realized he was now at the Eiffel Tower.

"Adrik- Adrien!" Chloe tackled him as he stood, throwing her arms around him. "I was so scared!"

Adrien blinked in surprise as Chloe set her head on his shoulder. Not letting him go... Adrien smiled as he hugged her back. Enjoying this genuine display of affection.

"Pound it!"

Head snapping towards the sound Adrien saw another Black Cat, this one a girl with long, reddish hair, fist bump Ladybug. They grinned at each other in post battle relief.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

A chill to rival Frozer's ice covered Adrien from head to toe. It was one thing to see Ladybug working with a different Black Cat on the news. Quite another to have his replacement. Three. Frickin. Meters. In front of him!

Chloe didn't notice... Or rather Adrien didn't notice when she'd let go to help her mother. Who tried to fire her own daughter as thanks.

Adrien jerked his eyes away from the superhero duo-

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

-Away from the Miraculous holders and forced himself to listen to whatever the Bourgeois were saying. Ears ringing as Ladybug and the Black Cat talked about something behind him...

"Oh, mom. If only you knew what a great team we made!" Chloe trailed after her mother as they walked down the tower's stairs; attempting to capture her attention. "We fired a bunch of incompetents. It was awesome. We should really spend more time together! What if I went back to New York with you?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Casserole- Eh, Chloe!" Audrey dismissed. "First I have to get back to Gabriel Agreste's fashion show. And they better..."

Adrien's eyes narrowed as he looked down from the railing, his grip on it tightening. Heat from a growing indignation melting the ice he felt. What did she just call Chloe?

"Adrien Agreste, right? I can give you a lift back if you want."

His tensed body jerked in surprise as Adrien realized Ladybug was standing right behind him. Throat and chest constricting as his thoughts whirled. Spots darkened his vision as he felt lightheaded. Adrien's knuckles becoming white, the metal railing digging into his skin. A single thought rose above the ringing in his ears.

I don't wanna talk to her.

Giving his best model smile, Adrien schooled his features. "Ah, thanks but-" he pointed down, "-I should really check on them."

"O-oh! Of course!"

Ladybug's face was out of focus but Adrien could still feel the melancholy in her voice.

Powering past his queasy stomach Adrien made his way to the stairs. The sound of Ladybug's yo-yo whirring reached his ears; signaling her departure. Adrien took a shuddering gasp as he leaned against a metal pillar for support. Body suddenly limp.

Breath accelerating Adrien tried to calm himself. Why was he up here? Had- Had Audrey's blast mind controlled him? Again!? He couldn't breathe.

Adrien sank to his knees as he felt his skin crawl at the idea of that- that- asshole reaching into his mind and taking away his free will. He hated it! He HATED it!

Gasping as his rage broke him out of the panic, Adrien steadied his breathing... He wanted- no, needed to know what happened... Which meant getting up and moving forward... Forcing himself to his feet Adrien wiped the sweat from his brow and followed the others down.

---------------

"Remind me to tell your father to fire the person in charge of the Eiffel Tower elevators..." Audrie panted. "This is... unacceptable... utterly unacceptable!"

"Of course, mom. Oh!" Chloe glanced down to see what she'd stumbled on.

Adrien looked up as he fanned himself with Marinette's hat.

And dropped it.

He stared open mouthed at the small, black, octagonal box in Chloe's hands. Heartbeat leaping into his throat.

What the hell is THAT doing here!?

"Ooh! What's this?" Chloe turned the box around in her hands but didn't open it.

Adrien suddenly forgot his exhaustion and rushed to her side. The lie coming easily to his lips. "Oh, I recognize that! They sell them at antique shops."

"Ew, it's old! Get it away from me!" Chloe practically hurled it at Adrien.

Catching it easily. A thrill ran up Adrien's arms and down his spine as the box made contact with his skin. The hairs at the back of his neck standing on end.

Chloe dusted her hands and kept walking. Glancing nervously at her mother. Hoping Audrey hadn't seen her with something so outdated.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! The voice in his head said.

Shut up, Adrien told it as he stared at the unknown Miraculous in his hand. Heartbeat hammering in his chest. But it wasn't from fear. No, it was... anticipation.

The corners of Adrien's lips curled upwards.

------------------------------

Notes: Oh, would you look at that. I'm back! It only took... eight months!

[empressarcana]

Hi, how are you? I hope you had great time with your family at the cabin! So sorry to hear about your cousin's dog :( Thank you so much for answering my weird question about being stuck with total stranger's death. I got a lot of inspiration out of your answer while trying to think it through. I'm fine with death, it's part of the life, I work at medical field and have seen people dieing, have seen dead people, had death in my family some months ago. So I don't think that I'll find my answer there. I decided to ignore it and filed it as strange case of missed opportunity of fangirling. Forced myself not to think about for 2 weeks, ignored all the articles about it in local news. Didn't work. So I tried different approach and dug in, read all the articles and gossip, went through instagram and YouTube, read his biography, listened to his music. That much is clear, I'm not able to process it with left brain. When I read his words, see pic or interview with him, I'm physically hurting, I'm overwhelmed with feelings. When I decided for the first time to listen for him singing, my heart started pounding and hands were shaking literally while pushing the play button. I'm just drowning into the feelings of sadness, pain, loneliness and it's far from the fangirl attraction. Is it ok if I go to Etsy and purchase your tarot reading on that matter? I'm feeling lost.

Hello my darling Anon!

Thank you so much for stopping by again! Also, thank you so much for the condolences about my cousin’s dog. Everything is feeling surreal. 😔 I did have fun at the cabin with family though! Even with the complications, I am so grateful for the experience I had and of course finally seeing snow. ❄️ There are a couple of videos I might share, one in particular that always gets me thinking. 💗

You’re very welcome, too. I am glad you came to me with your question and my response helped you even a little. 🥺 I resonate strongly with your words. Sometimes, the logical explanation is so far away, it seems. Of course, it doesn’t stop us from searching for answers, though. I feel you are going through this right now. I am so sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. 😔 From what you’ve described, I feel you are channeling this person’s energy because you connected through their death.

Have you ever tried automatic writing? When you feel overwhelmed by feelings, knowing deep down they might not be yours completely, take a piece of paper and write whatever comes to your mind. Or, simply open up a word document and start typing. You can do the same thing with art, music, any form of expression which you can listen back to or analyze later for meaning. Even if at the end of the writing session, nothing makes sense at the moment, there will be a time it will. I feel this deeply.

Oh gosh, dear, I am humbled right now. Yes, you can of course come to my Etsy and I can do a reading on this matter. I appreciate your support as well. 🥺 Thank you for trusting me with your words, your story. I feel you both connected energetically and emotionally. I am picking up such a beautiful and loving energy, wanting to convey a message to you. Nothing to be scared of, the emotions and feeling overwhelmed, again I feel you knew this soul in another life. I believe I briefly mentioned this in my last response. I gotta look back to it because I want to assist you any way I can. I would give you a big hug if I could. I just want to say, it’s okay to feel a bit lost. You might feel like this because you are on a search for answers, part of your truth. When this happens, our soul reaches out to whatever they can, person or thing, anything to connect the dots. Right now, the world is going through this, too. You are not alone. You are feeling all this because a message is trying to get to you, to help you on your own journey. Ah, sorry if that all sounds strange! I was just writing whatever was coming through. A lot of my channeled messages come through from automatic writing. 💗

Sending you so much love and feel good vibes your way, darling. Never hesitate to stop by and ask questions. I’ll always do my best in answering them. 💗

[elusive---ivory]

The Woman In Velvet pt 9

Holy shit????? 9 parts??? Holy moly???? This is insane!!! I can't believe people are actually interested lmao. Well, the masterlist will be up soon enough, as for now, enjoy.

PAIRING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNING: NSFW (near the end.)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Taglist:

@princessgeekface @mijachula @gloomybih @memory-mortis @radio-hoo-ha @moonstruck-witchy (if you'd like to be apart of my Taglist. Just message me, and I'll tag you)

Sandy looked at herself in the mirror. It was almost 6. She looked over to her dress on the bed. It was a long black velvet gown that her mother used to wear. She picked it up from off the bed and posed with it in the full length mirror. As she slipped it on, she saw how comfortable it fit on her. Sandy laughed, twirling around in the dress.

She carefully applied her makeup. Her eyelashes touched her thick framed glasses as she pushed them back onto her face. Her lips were ruby red from her lipstick. Sandy smiled widely in the mirror.

Arthur watched as she got ready. He told previously that she could. God, did she look marvelous. Arthur watched her move.

Sandy caught Arthur staring at her through the doorway of the bedroom.

She smirked. "See something you like?"

Arthur blushed, looking away. "Uhh, yeah. Just you."

Sandy giggled at his boyish behavior. She looked over at the clock.

"Oh shit. It's 6. I'm heading out, Artie." Sandy kissed Arthur on his cheek.

He grabbed ahold of her hand. "Just be safe, please."

Sandy smiled, sweetly kissing his lips. "I will dear."

Arthur watched as she went out the door. His heart beated loudly in his chest. Arthur turned off the TV, heading out of his apartment.

Sandy's heels clicked on the pavement as she walked towards Dee's car.

"Sandy!" Dee yelled, excitedly. Her smile was wide with her dimples spreading ear to ear.

Dee pulled Sandy into a tight hug.

Sandy smiled, giving in to the hug. "Hey, Dee. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm just fantastic. Have you met my boyfriend, Doug?" Dee said, as a very tall man in a black suit emerged out of the car.

Sandy shook her head. "No, I don't think I have."

The man named 'Doug' grinned. "I don't think I have neither. Very nice to meet you, Sammy."

Sandy huffed. "It's Sandy."

"Oh, right, sorry." Doug falsely apologized.

Sandy rolled her eyes and got in the car.

The three of them rode down to Wayne Hall. Protesters in clown masks and makeup were yelling and screaming from left and right. Sandy looked around at the chaos, smiling a little bit.

"Look at this, Dee. Our city's in peril. I hope the asshole that caused this goes to hell." Doug rambled, behind the wheel.

Sandy turned her head towards Doug. "Funny you say that, Doug. I'm pretty sure the people outside would definitely love to hear you opinion on the matter." She remarked.

Doug glared at Sandy through the rear view window.

"We're here." Dee said, trying to cut the tension.

The three of them got out of the car. Sandy was still infatuated with the protest behind her. It gave her hope. She noticed someone sneaking off out of the crowd. It looked like a familiar yellow jacket.

"Hey, Sandy. You coming?" Dee called, pulling Sandy out of her thoughts.

Sandy backed up, blinking a little bit. "Uhh, yeah." She turned around and followed Dee into the bar.

It was a very elegant looking bar. The red lighting matched the velvet booths in the bar. Sandy looked around. There was a lot of older gentleman alongside very scandalous women. Sandy sat down at the booth.

"I'll take a dry martini, please." Dee told the waiter.

"Whiskey on the rocks." Doug ordered, taking out an expensive looking cigar.

Sandy raised her eyebrow at Doug. "I'll take a cherry cola."

"Really, Sandy? Come on. Live a little. Here I'll order you a chardonnay." Dee said, signaling towards the waiter.

"No, Dee. I'm cutting back on drinking. I already have a bad smoking habit. I don't need to add alcohol to that." Sandy said, leaning back in the booth.

"Alright, whatever you say." Dee rolled her eyes, teasing.

Sandy crossed her arms. Despite just getting here, Sandy already felt tired of babysitting them.

After a while, lots of the protesters swarmed inside the bar.

Doug, after having a total of five drinks, drunkenly stood up, yelling in their faces.

"Listen here, you fucking scum, ya got ten seconds to get out of my bar." Doug slurred, standing dangerously close to a protester's face.

"You got a problem, buddy?" The protester said, pushing Doug back.

"Yeah, you are." Doug pushed back.

Dee drunkenly stood up as well. "Yeah, you fucking tell him, babe."

Sandy watched in horror, dragging Dee back to her seat.

"Oh, yeah, well watch this tough guy." The protester took out a gun, shooting Doug in the face.

Dee and Sandy screamed, ducking under the table. Soon, a bar fight broke out between the protesters and the old gentleman at the bar.

Dee was hyperventilating. "What the fuck?!"

Sandy looked at Dee, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Calm down, Dee. We have to get out of her." Sandy calmly stated.

"What about Doug?" Dee exclaimed.

"He'll be fine. Just hand me the keys." Sandy grabbed on Dee's hand and ran outside the bar.

Sandy grabbed the keys from Dee and revved up the car. More protesters were yelling out on the streets. Sandy pulled out from the parking space, denting a few cars in the process, before driving off.

Sandy sighed in relief as they got away from the scene. She pulled over to her apartment building. She looked over to Dee, who was quivering in the front seat. Sandy, then, looked down under the seat for a pack of cigarettes. When she found some, Sandy stuck one in her mouth, getting lipstick all over it, and pressing the car's cigarette lighter.

Dee looked terrified at Sandy. "How can you be so calm in a situation like this? My boyfriend just got murdered."

Sandy looked over at Dee, again. She grabbed the cigarette lighter, lighting her cigarette, then blowing smoke out her nose.

"How long did you know your boyfriend?" Sandy asked, deflecting Dee's question.

"Well, a few weeks." Dee said, crossing her arms. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Sandy laughed. "A few weeks, huh? Was it before or after he paid you?"

Dee turned her head away from Sandy. "It was after. Ok? God, why are you being such a mega bitch?" Dee threw her hands in the air dramatically.

Sandy continued to laugh. She inhaled another drag from the cigarette. Slowly, her laughter subsided. "My heels broken. I should probably go home." Sandy said, blankly.

Dee eyed at Sandy's behavior. "Sandy, are you ok?"

Sandy smiled at Dee. "To be honest, I thought this night was gonna be a bust, but as it turns out, I feel fantastic."

She handed the keys to Dee as she got out of the car.

"I'm sorry about your boyfriend. I'm sure you can find another one that pays more." Sandy yelled, walking into her building.

Dee glared at Sandy as she walked away.

Sandy limped up to Arthur's apartment. She knocked on the door. To her surprise, the door was unlocked.

"Arthur?" She called.

Sandy looked around in the bed, then slowly moving to the kitchen. She noticed shelves and food were all over the floor. Gently, she opened the refrigerator door.

Arthur cradled himself, not wanting to face Sandy.

"Hey, Artie." Sandy spoke softly. "Why don't you come on out?"

Arthur gave no response.

"Please, Art?" Sandy put her hands on his knee.

Arthur looked over at Sandy, and grabbed ahold of her shoulders, sobbing into her.

Sandy petted his hair, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

"Let me draw you a bath, dear." Sandy kissed Arthur's cheek, before getting off of the kitchen floor.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Arthur asked, pitifully. "All you've been is sweet and kind. I just don't get it."

Sandy lifted Arthur from the ground. "I love you, Arthur. Is that what you don't understand?" Sandy hugged Arthur's fragile body. He melted into the hug, feeling Sandy's warmth.

"I just don't understand how an angel like you could love a guy like me." Arthur mumbled, slumping into her neck.

Sandy smiled, rubbing Arthur's exposed back. "Come on, dear. I've got a warm bath waiting for you."

Arthur peeled off his remaining clothes, slipped into the bathtub. Sandy was still in the bathroom, looking for some type of body wash. As she turned around, she saw Arthur's nude body in the tub. Sandy blushed, slightly, kneeling down to his level.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Sandy asked, maintaining eye contact.

"Yeah, could you stay?" Arthur's eyes pierced into Sandy.

She was almost about to decline, but something in her said yes. She nodded, staying in her position on the floor.

"So, how was the rally?" Sandy asked, nervously. She gulped, trying not to lead her mind down south.

Arthur looked at Sandy. "It was fine." He mumbled. Arthur noticed blood on Sandy's lip. He lifted her chin, touching the busted lip.

Sandy hissed in pain. "Ah, fuck."

Arthur's eyes went wide, letting go of her chin. "What happened?" Arthur asked, concerned.

"It's nothing, dear." Sandy answered, reassuringly.

Arthur frowned at her response, but didn't want to push it further.

"I did like the way you lifted my chin." Sandy smirked. She ran her fingers across his jawline, lifting Arthur's chin up. "Just like that." Sandy whispered seductively.

Arthur melted at the touch, holding onto Sandy's hand.

"It almost makes me want to join you in the tub." Sandy giggled, splashing Arthur a little.

Arthur nodded his head. "I'd like that." He whispered.

Sandy blushed, standing up to unbutton her dress. After unbuttoning it, she placed it on the towel rack behind her. She unclasped her bra, which fell to the floor. Sandy peeled off any other clothes left remaining on her body, and stepped in the tub with Arthur.

Arthur admired Sandy, as she laid on the opposite side of the tub. Arthur smiled at her. Sandy turned away, blushing.

Arthur leaned over and pulled Sandy closer towards him. Before Sandy could speak, she was already straddling Arthur's thin waist under her thick thighs.

She cleared her throat. Sandy felt Arthur's arms sneak around her waist, keeping her upright.

Arthur sat up and rested his chin on Sandy's shoulder. She relaxed into his touch.

"Sandy?" Arthur whispered.

"Yeah?" Sandy whispered back.

"Can I touch you?" Arthur asked, griping onto Sandy's waist.

Her eyes widened. "Touch me where?" Sandy questioned, putting her hands on Arthur's chest.

"Everywhere." Arthur said, softly putting his lips on her neck. Sandy gasped, nodding at his request.

Water spilled out the bathtub as Sandy grinded onto Arthur. He tilted his head back into the bathtub and moaned. He kissed Sandy's neck, feeling himself inside her. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, biting her bruised lip.

"Artie." She whispered, moaning.

Arthur went in deeper, keeping a grip on her thighs. Sandy tugged on his hair, warranting a moan from Arthur.

Arthur came before Sandy, yet staying inside her. Once Sandy came to her close, she fell on top of Arthur, laying on her chest.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hey,I am new to Tumblr so I don't know how it really works but since I started using it your blog is literally the best like the ziam content I get from your blog keeps me living,I'm always checking for when you have a new post,I just wanna show my appreciation .Quick question tho are you still ot5 Stan,and do u still believe in Larry? ignore me if you don't want to answer any of this question and sorry for any grammatical errors English isn't my native language,once again I loveee your blog ❤️

2,I'm the one who sent you an ask if you're a larrie and ot5. another question I don't know y but I have seen many ziammies and most of them don't like younger fans why is that?I don't know maybe I am generalising it but I am 15 and I have learnt a lot about how pr r/ships work and how the entertainment industry can be disgusting because I have seen how 4 boys are closeted so if I can see through the bs why do most ziam believers assume that we are just little girls waiting to marry the boys?

3, sorry for writing 3 times but if I bothered or offended you in any way it wasn't my intention really,I am so sorry if I have done that I really love your blog. It's just that I am curious

hey nonnie! welcome to tumblr! and thank you for such a sweet message, i’m so glad my blog has been an enjoyable and uplifting place for you :) :) :) And in answer to your initial questions yes, i am still a larry and an ot5 stan (trust me, if i ever completely lose faith in larry or the connection of ot5 i will remove it from my bio, and the same goes for ziam or any of the other people/things listed in my bio - if for any reason i ever stop stanning someone or something that is listed there it will be removed, i have done it before and i will do it again lol). 

on the hating on younger fans thing, i can’t really speak to that much as i personally haven’t seen much of that, but just taking guesses it’s possible it may stem from either older fans trying to distance themselves from younger fans based on 1) the type of content they post (i.e. maybe they’re posting more adult/18+ content they don’t want underage fans to see),  2) not wanting to leave any kind of space for fostering inappropriate relationships b/t themselves and minors/underage fans, or 3) oftentimes younger fans, particularly in this fandom (but other fandoms as well i’m sure) engage in very problematic stereotyping of queerness and of same-sex/queer relationships just purely based on the fact that they haven’t learned and/or experienced enough to realize why certain views or statements they’re expressing or implying are problematic and offensive. obviously i don’t know what you’ve seen specifically, so if there are people out there who are literally saying outright they don’t like younger fans, they may just be weirdly hateful and it may not be any of these reasons i’ve listed here (or if they are saying that outright it could just be reason #3 and b/c they’ve seen too much of that going on with younger fans and are sick of it and wanna cut themselves off from that). but i’m guessing that most of what you’re seeing isn’t people just saying anything outright like that (though again correct me if i’m wrong!), but maybe just them criticizing younger fans for certain problematic views and/or behavior, or saying they would rather not interact with younger fans b/c of those things or b/c of any of the other reasons listed above. anyway i hope that wasn’t too confusing of an explanation nonnie lol, but as i’m also sure you’ve realized by now from being on my blog, i am not the best at explaining things coherently or concisely lol. please do let me know if you need me to clarify anything i’ve stated here though

to your point of ziams assuming younger fans are just gullible little girls wanting to marry the boys though, i can only assume that when you mention that, you are referring to people in the ziam fandom making statements like ‘only 15 y.o. girls believe this/fall for this het nonsense’ and things like that, of which i must admit i have also said similar things (sorry!), and which i completely get you being offended by as a teenage girl yourself. but i wanna make it totally clear that when most ziams (myself included) say that, we’re not talking about young ziam believers like you who can see through the bs! we’re talking about young het fans who literally do fantasize about marrying the boys and do things like write creepy imagines about themselves having sex with the boys, despite the extreme ick-factor of these young het fans being 1) underage and therefore basically writing self-insert kiddie porn, 2) being disgustingly invasive in trying to insert themselves in the boys’ lives and/or pry their friends and families for private info, and 3) pretty much never having a chance of anything happening that remotely involves them and the boys being romantically or sexually involved, considering most of the boys are clearly in long-term committed relationships with each other lmao. anyway all that said, when you see any of us in the ziam (or larry) fandom ragging on teenage girls it’s not meant to be directed at fans like you who do believe in larry/ziam, it’s meant to be directed solely at problematic underage het fans engaging in these kinds of inappropriate and invasive behaviors

(p.s. your english is perfectly fine and you didn’t offend me at all with your questions!)

[lostinanimage]

Okay, so, question. Is Patreon good? Like do you like using it? I'm trying to figure out wether or not it'd be a good platform for me to use

I like it for what I use it for. It’s not perfect, but I haven’t found anything better for what I need, so I’m glad someone suggested it to me. I’ll kind of tell you some pluses and minusus and hopefully that helps. Though keep in mind that I do know they made some changes at some point and they early adopted the accounts that were made prior to that. So I’m not sure what those changes meant. Why I like patreon: *Everything is set up for me. It was very easy to just fill in the forms and have a page. This is huge because I didn’t want to be spending time and energy (and likely money) setting up a website. *Their platform manages all the subscribers. It’s not perfect, but it’s not unworkable to message individual subscribers and look at changes. *They handle payment. I don’t have to take anyone’s payment information and they never see any of my personal information. They handle sales tax laws for other countries and have provided clear instructions to help me with that mess. *It’s common enough that people aren’t totally against having an account. *They don’t cater toward a specific kind of content so I don’t feel like certain artists are mistreated. *Their rules for explicit content make sense and don’t cause issues for me. *There’s an obvious theme here of how they lower the backend of work for me. I want to spend my time writing. I update my partreon way more than anyone else I know who has one. I don’t want to spend time coding a website and dealing with processing payments and sending out content individually. All that would cost me more time and money than the fees Patreon takes. *Initial posting is very easy. This is actually why sometimes when I’ve been busy Ao3 has gotten more behind than planned. Because I literally copy and paste directly from Word and it just keeps all my formatting. *Post scheduling. I’ve used this a lot of times when I needed to get something online and edit it later. Ao3 backdates drafts and that keeps people from seeing them if I don’t actually post for a few days. This is why I don’t schedule Ao3 posts in advance when I won’t have internet. Cons: *There is no good organization of posts done automatically. I use tags, but ultimately, it’s not made for someone who wants new subscribers to be able to find really old posts. This meant I spend over 36 hours creating a table of contents at one point. It’s now horribly behind but it’s so much work and I don’t want to update it when the tagging system makes this a bit less of a problem. *There is no easy way for me to sell blocks of older content. This means that new subscribers just get everything exclusive immediately for $2. I did take the $1 option away after a point because of this. Some creaters delete old posts because of this, but that doesn’t work for what I use it for. *It’s not really meant for large blocks of text and that shows. It might be my computer, but Ao3 and tumblr don’t have this issue, so I doubt it. Once I’ve posted a chapter, editing it on my computer lags to the extent that I type all my notes in word and copy and paste them into the window. If I add more than a word, this is what I do. Oddly, the app is better about this. *Some people just don’t like patreon or subscriptions for whatever reason and ask me to use other sites. I lose this money because the cost of preparing a separate site when Patreon works just fine is not worth it for me. Selling PDFs directly means I have to give out personal information I’d rather not give out. Patreon allows you to pay and immediately unsubscribe while having access for a month so I don’t understand why it’s worth the excessive work it would take to create more options. I don’t *love* it when people do this, but I don’t hate either because I create content a very fast rate so they’ll need to resub anyway at some point if they want the new stuff. It is what it is. That’s the basics. If you have more questions, I’m happy to answer them as long as you don’t ask me to set up your whole site. (Patreon makes it easy so I’d just confuse things anyway.) I don’t use all of Patreon’s features (because all my stuff is digital so I don’t mail anything.), but I think it’s pretty good for what I use it for. I don’t actually find that I get more engagement on Patreon than Ao3. That’s okay. I don’t use a lot of those features. Honestly, I created my Patreon just to justify the ridiculous amount of time I spend writing and not feel bad about writing original characters for free when I really can’t afford to do that finacially. In the pandemic, it’s almost all my income that comes from work. It doesn’t come close to supporting me, so I’m still living on unemployment and help. But it gives me a structure to feel like I’m working everyday when I get up and write for hours, and that’s so good for my mental health.

[shadowthorne]

heya! i know you have a few snakes, and i'm really hoping to get a (mex black king)snake this summer, so i was wondering if you have any tips on finding a good breeder? and i wanna go to a rept convention, but im not sure if that's a safe place to get a healthy snake? anything helps really! love you as always!

I genuinely have no idea when you sent this ask… So I hope it was recent… OTL My notifications said I had two messages in my inbox and I have five I don’t remember, so??? 

But anyway!! 

Reptile conventions/expos can be good places to get animals, you just have to know what you’re looking for and how to identify a sick animal. I kind of prefer them, because I like being able to see the snake in person before I buy it, but I’m kind of old fashioned from being, well, old (compared to others in my generation lol). If you do go that route, and honestly it’s a great experience even if you don’t actually buy a snake from the expo, always handle the animal you want to buy first. The breeder should ask you to sanitize your hands, if they don’t, then they’ve been letting everyone who’s handled other, potentially sick animals, handle theirs and potentially spread germs. Sometimes that’s an issue, sometimes it’s not. For things like URI (the most common illness in snakes) it’s probably not going to be too big of an issue; URI is sort of like a cold, but much more dangerous for a snake, it takes prolonged exposure to catch, so once you get the animal home, in a clean and healthy environment, the odds of it catching URI are low unless it was actively housed with other sick animals in the breeders’ shop. The next thing to look out for is the condition of the animal you’re looking at, as well as the other animals on the table. If the snake you’re looking at is healthy, but the others around it look off/sick, the breeder probably isn’t taking great care of his/her animals, I wouldn’t support them. ASK QUESTIONS. Breeders can tell when they’re talking to or looking at a first time owner vs someone who’s done this before, and that’s fine. Be aware that some breeders are going to try to take advantage of that, so know what you want to ask and be prepared to be pressured. A good breeder will NOT pressure you into anything. The more willing to politely answer ten million questions they are, the more likely you found a good breeder.

Things to look for and ask, whether you’re at an expo or not;

How old is the snake? There’s no particular age to avoid, but for a first time owner, older is better. Neonates are fragile and can be finicky. I would avoid anything under a month or two. If you can find one that’s five or six months old, even better.

How many meals has this animal taken vs how many have they skipped? Skipping meals is uncommon for babies, but especially so when it comes to King snakes. If the snake is skipping meals regularly, no matter how healthy it looks, avoid it. An experienced keeper would probably be ok, but it is SO STRESSFUL trying to get a snake to eat again. Don’t do that to yourself. It can also be an indication that something is seriously wrong with the animal, even if it doesn’t show externally. In some cases, it takes literal years for problems to show externally.

It’s also always good to ask WHAT the snake is eating; frozen/thawed vs live, what size/age/type of feeder, etc.

When looking at the snake, look for dry, stuck shed. It will look something like this or this. A lot of people will try to pass it off as normal and healthy, whether out of their own ignorance or playing off yours, it is NOT. This means that the animal is regularly dehydrated and living in an unfitting environment. This is an issue that can be fixed, but if it’s a regular thing, it can come with other health issues too. If the breeder/owner says it’s normal, avoid it for sure. If they admit that it’s a bad shed because of some sort of stress (ie; transportation or animal, or breeder being out of town or something) than it’s up to your judgement. If they seem like they’re being honest and other animals look good, it’s probably safe. Extreme cases will look dried out and wrinkly, like this. If it looks like this, don’t get it no matter the excuse. This is a sign of prolonged dehydration, which can and will kill the animal.

Look at the overall body condition of the animal; is it too skinny? (identified by a triangular body shape, prominent spine or ribs in extreme cases, prominent jaw/head bones, etc. In king snakes, this should be VERY rare, they’re good eaters lol if I was getting a king snake and it looked like that picture, I wouldn’t buy it because there are probably other issues, like it’s not eating or has parasites or something) Is it too fat? (Identified by an extremely round body shape, sides are soft rather than muscular, when curled, there will be ‘rolls’ at the bends as show in bottom portion of the photo linked above, an obvious dip or ‘hips’ between body and tail, etc. This will be more common in king snakes, and is a sign that they’re over fed and under stimulated in the enclosure. If it’s not exceptionally extreme, it’s totally fixable with a diet and exorcise just like in any other animal but if prolonged, can lead to other health issues) Sometimes ‘obese’ can just be poop…. If the tail looks really skinny compared to the body, but it’s only too fat in the bottom third of the animal, it’s probably just brewing a really big poop for you when you get it home :D At a healthy weight, you should be able to easily identify the muscle along the spine, where the ‘neck’ is, and the body should slope into the tail. 

Are the eyes and mouth clear? The mouth should close more or less seamlessly; if you see any funny shapes that make it look like it’s not shutting right, it’s probably mouth rot which comes with URI and all kinds of other nasty stuff. You also shouldn’t be able to hear it breathe.

Look at how the snake acts; is it lethargic or alert? King snakes are active animals, it should probably be pretty wiggly and want to move around when you’re trying to hold it. If it’s lethargic or limp, there’s something wrong.

Check the scales; they should be smooth and shiny (unless in blue/shed). The belly scales should flat and undamaged. Scale rot and burns will be found on the belly; these are signs of poor husbandry and neglect. If they’re not extreme, it’s not a huge detriment to the future health of the animal. Snakes are amazingly resilient and heal from amazing damage. But I wouldn’t want to support a breeder who lets these things happen, ya know. In MBKs, these things might be harder to spot because of the color of the scales; look/feel for rough edges or weird textures.

Look for mites; they’re very small and hard to see, especially on a black snake. They’ll be easiest to find near the mouth, nostrils and the fold of skin under the chin. You may not know about it until after you get the animal home. It’s not a big deal. If the snake has mites, it’s not the worst thing in the world. They can be treated, but it can be a pain to deal with. They’ll look like little specks against and between scales; X, X, X. If the snake is sitting in the water bowl a lot, it can be a sign of mites, but not necessarily. If you happen to see them before you buy the animal, you can choose to not buy it, or talk to the breeder about it. They might work a deal with you, or give you something to treat the problem, etc. 

As for finding a good breeder NOT at an expo; you just really have to do your research. Ask around, look at reviews, contact the person and ask your questions. Trust your gut when talking to them. Facebook groups can be good resources to find breeders, but keep in mind that facebook is full of people with extremely outdated information and/or ignorance. The only person I know of who is breeding MBKs is @i-m-snek. She recently got a breeding pair and is expecting eggs. Even if her eggs are already spoken for or the breeding doesn’t pan out, she might be a good person to ask about breeders.

Hopefully this helps, if you have other questions or would like better explanations, let me know!