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that unemployed transfem you like to complain about is going through so much shit right now. job applications become a whole new kind of hell when the world at large views you as a pest.

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So there's gossip about some version of kinktober over on twitter adding a bunch of nonsensical rules this year, and I am fascinated. Studying this like a bug.

Like, what the hell.

(context link)

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Getting thiiiiiiis close to bringing back One Drop Rules.

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I just think like even as a "joke" it's odd to hop on the opportunity to imagine a minority and then proceed to gleefully fantasize about calling them slurs that you're making up based on preexisting slurs. I think that's odd and I think it's very "i'm not touching you" to act like there's no correlation.

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i won't pretend it's not hard work because i've been there as some body who has been fat since childhood, but, that being said: if you're a fat person with a lot of hangups and insecurities around certain traits of yours being complimented or certain body parts being touched or admired, i really truly encourage you to think about your reaction to those interactions and to consider if it's something you can work on. it's difficult to conceptualize your relationship with your body as anything other than static, and most of us have understandably developed some sort of negative kneejerk emotional response to having specific traits (especially those undeniably fat ones like rolls, double chins, big arms, and others that aren't conventionally praised in the context of smaller bodies) acknowledged in a value neutral or even positive way. but it's something you can work on, especially if you allow yourself and others to express affection for those traits, and it is incredibly rewarding to do so and to rewrite a lot of the body hatred which you've been taught to passively reflect tin the way you see yourself. personally, it was really scary for me to do this with my stomach, as someone who used to wear a shirt during sex 100% of the time because of it; now, i see my tummy as one of the most attractive features of my body, and i receive compliments on it not as covert digs or reminders of a shameful trait but instead as acknowledgements that yes my body is obviously fat, and yes that's a positive thing. it's not all at once, and it's always going to be a little bit of an ongoing process, but like, every time i get a reblog on a post about affirming fat partners' features along the lines of "#well you should check and make sure it's okay to mention someone's rolls in any capacity because most of us would really rather ignore them" i want to shake that person's shoulders and tell them please, i get it, it's scary, but i promise you don't have to live the rest of your life agreeing that your fatness is something to be ignored-at-best

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I know that the UK censorship laws are evils and fucked up on the face of them but I feel like we kinda blew past the part where it uses a phrenology machine to check your age.

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foundation (1.01 - 1.05 - 2.10)

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I've spoken about this soooo many times before but once again studies have come out about indigenous precolonial lifeways within the umbrella of polyamory and ppl keep 'discovering' that these relationships were largely built on mutual responsibility and structure and not just 'wow queer sex'

And it makes me think about how we KNOW that colonizers 'studying' precolonial societies looked at people who weren't weighed down by religious shame or wearing 4+ layers of clothing in hot environments and projected their repressed sexuality onto them.

We KNOW that where sexualities existed, these freak ass euros were obsessive about it and hardly had concepts of anything more subtle or nuanced happening outside of it (these are the same people who saw centuries-old food forests as 'untouched land' so like...par for the course)

And knowing that I REALLY think people- especially white LGBTQ fols-- need to step back bc I keep seeing y'all look at cultural relationship patterns beyond and from before your contemporary culture and all you draw from it is an individualistic liberty of identity. And not to shame but that's the big fucking shadow torturing the community IMO. Like others have said, being gay or trans or whatever doesn't actually absolve you of being part of a contemporary colonial culture, that takes actual work to examine and shift from.

I'm tired of how y'all cherry pick that such and such African tribes had Woman Husbands with multiple wives or that such and such Polynesian culture had open relationships and thats fucking ALL YOU FUCKING TAKE. It's really hard not to get mad. Not because 'boo you're wrong' but that ONCE AGAIN Y'ALL SEE WHAT YOU WANT AND NOTHING MORE.

This was also one of my issues when a few years back everyone wanted to rant and rave about how having free sex and/or multiple partners was gonna revolutionize society.

DID IT?? DID IT??

This is very much like when privileged white ppl in the 60s-70s, exhausted by war, were very ready to adopt cheapened eastern philosophies and their conceptualization around 'transformative' love and sex was just like...orgies and irresponsibility.

Anyway point being that in many cases, wherever you find societies that were based on these various forms of plural relationship that also very very much included shared-responsibility/economic connection driven relationships. Someone's 'wife' could very well have been a co-mother or business partner and NOT her lover. Many times.

To go back to what I was talking about before, I'm fucking hitting snooze on the shit y'all think is so revolutionary until it stops being about you and your fucking desires. Personal wants, needs and desires are important to tend to but it's the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM of building a society.

Please understand that just because you KNOW that your current culture is hyperindividualistic and maybe even hypersexualised doesn't mean you actually have worked out the many ways that's affecting your perspective. It's like with decolonial thought-- you don't just get to say "I've decolonized" without doing years of ongoing fucking work.

I've said it before but a lot of the LGBT/Alt sexuality scene is bound by a very limiting perspective where all you can see or conceptualize is an identity that is self-referential. All you can really center is the pendulum swing away from the shitty right wing sex negativity of your forebears. And I get it too bc when you're not allowed to be who you are from young, you end up having to go through that phase when you're older. But this is why we have ppl in their 20s & 30s and beyond who have very little in the way of community mindset and really only see being 'queer' as a space to self validate sexual exploration and 'I get to do what I want!' personal expression.

Again, not bad, but very very elementary and we're at a point in society where we DESPERATELY need people to value community structure over just like...moving through life thinking that being able to fuck whomever is attractive to you is wow so important.

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keep thinking about how nauseating i find the "hey, don't you want to be one of us?" type approach exemplified in that one transandrophobia as from a few days ago and the way it contrasts with the outright vitriol these guys lob at my transfem peers. interesting that they will continue to whinge and mope about how underprivileged they are while always always approaching other tme trans people out of earshot of transfems with the same locker room talk "hey, why are you wasting time caring about women when you could be exerting power over them? don't you think it's your right?" spiel as any Return of Kings type entitled misogynist

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i've been thinking about ciri so much lately with the new game announcement. she's a princess. she's a juvenile delinquent. she got banned from seeing her childhood friend because she upstaged him so hard in extreme sports that he fell in love with her. she got a tattoo and a face scar at age 15. she's besties with a unicorn. she once killed a dude for being homophobic to her. she has the power of god and anime on her side. she unironically suffered more than jesus. she once asked her dad why he's being a centrist. and she's even bisexual.

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I give it three months tops before a data breach leads to a public figure in the UK being outed for visiting niche porn sites because they uploaded their ID in order to access it and the site's data security is absolute dogshit

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I know that the running joke is that we should abolish all men's podcasts but in the mean time I've been keeping a list of YT channels/podcasts by/aimed atBlack men* across a range of age groups that are varying levels of progressive, left or left-leaning, and as a baseline supportive of Black women and other marginalized communities.

Disclaimer: My priority when compiling this list was to find content I could recommend to my little brother that was not in the manosphere, and (where possible) actively critical of the manosphere and it's members. I'm not claiming that these men have perfect politics or that I agree with every single take they have.

Andrewism (Leftist philosophy and theory)

Colormind (Essays about a variety of topics including mental health, media and music)

F D Signifier (Former teacher, cultural commentary/political video essays, essays specifically criticizing the manosphere)

Foreign Man in a Foreign Land (Cultural Commentary through a Carribean lens) Garrison Hayes (Black history, politics and current events)

Poddy Mouth (Discusses general News and pop culture with a specific focus on rap and hip-hop)

The JAAM podcast (Pop culture and political podcast, hosted by a group of four friends from Chicago)

Thinkpiece Tribe *not sure of gender identity - uses he/they/she pronouns* (Video Essays/Short films and Media Analysis - made one of the best One Piece political video essays I've seen)

Waving the Red Flag (Elevated barbershop talk podcast hosted by three friends in Atlanta)

I think that searching for positive influence is a good idea! It takes away the excuse that "oh there's only-" nooo, you just didn't look!

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Jenna Ortega | "Wednesday" Season 2, Part 1 Global Premiere in London, England | July 30, 2025

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Actually, 'Zelda' is the name of the princess. The guy who runs around smashing everyone's pots is just called 'Zelda's monster'.