#like through every lifetime this is the soul ive been tied to. the one ive been trying to find through every existence

[let-love-run-red]

Me after yapping and feeling too annoying for too long: idk I'm just waiting for the day you snap and decide to kill me lol

Hubs, immediately turning to me and holding my face in his hands: love, I am not mentally capable of thinking of you and any form of violence at the same time. It just doesn't happen

Me: ...

Hubs: and even if it somehow did, I would sooner put myself to the torch than raise a single finger against you

[callistolivia]

Lilith in the Birthchart

“Within Black Moon Lilith, we find a woman’s turmoils and fears, the balance between how people see women and how we wish to see women, the internal and external rejection of womanhood, absurd reactions and compensations to actively change perception (transformation), the snake. Lilith isn’t of lust, isn’t a creature, demon, seductress, witch, nor Adam ex-wife... She is purely a metaphor of young womanhood and coming to terms with woman’s fears and desires; the uniqueness of the female experience.” Look at this post here for my full interpretation of Black Moon Lilith.

I realize this post, as well as my other post on Lilith, plus other posts I’ve done on feminine asteroids, will be controversial to a lot of people as it heavily focuses on women/feminine experience. To me, I think the astrological placement of Lilith (among other certain placements) hold particular importance to the female experience. So I pardon my blatant exclusion of male experience and I can imagine that a lot of the themes I am describing can work in a male’s birth chart. The psychological history behind Lilith has strong connections to female representation which is why I interpret it this way. With that all said, everyone has both masculine and feminine energies working within their chart which is to be remembered. 

Black Moon Lilith in the Birthchart

Interpret by house first, as the house Lilith is in uncovers more of the whereabouts to its themes in your life. Though, by sign will also uncover themes, especially in a strong sign such as Scorpio. Aspects to Lilith can also indicate the condition of the affected house.

I House/Aries  Lilith here is on the forefront and becomes an integral part of the individual’s identity. Its as if Inanna herself is personified in the individual (especially true if Lilith conjuncts the ascendant!) and she is on a quest to carve her throne in the Huluppu tree. The fears enveloped here revolve around being true to oneself and having an authentic feminine experience in their lifetime. There are also fears of being perceived in an unfavoured way and others making poor assumptions about the individual. These individuals will go through many trials of what is means to be a woman, especially in very pivotal moments of their life. They’re going to go through many moments of questioning their identity and will likely struggle at times to accept that they are perfect just the way they are. These individuals may go out of their way to seek validation for who they are and these outlets aren’t always good (especially if Lilith is ill-aspected). Natural attractiveness is common for individuals with this goddess placement, but they should be wary of this power to draw energies force (Some already are and may even fear attraction of others, especially when its for superficial reasons). It’s important for the individual to stay with the right crowd and not worry so much about their authenticity as it comes more naturally than they think. 

II House/Taurus  Lilith in the house regarding value explores themes of self-value. Lilith at its worst here can manifest in issues dealing with body image; the individual may have trouble loving their body and neglect to care for it. The individual’s relationship with food and nutrition can be particularly troublesome, especially if Lilith is ill-aspected here. Compensation is another theme to follow as a consequence to issues dealing with self-value. The individual may compensate in areas where they feel inadequate with themselves by material means. Spoiling oneself, food, money, beauty, extreme alteration, or anything to mask one’s true self are all second house compensations Lilith looks for to feel better, worthy, or secure in this world. Remarkably, the individual’s capacity for transformation is great. If they can heal their wounds and fears around the value of themselves, they can redirect that perception of unreachable perfection into their work. Artists in particular can benefit from this redirection of energy. It’s really important for these individuals to navigate away from material things giving them importance to this world; every material thing they think they need is really just a compensation for something they failed to see within themselves that has always been there.

III House/Gemini  Lilith here resembles a tale of trickery, when the goddess Inanna intoxicates “lord of wisdom,” Enki into giving her all of his knowledge and wisdom. Symbolically, Lilith holds all of truth, wisdom, and knowledge here. Particularly the theme of women holding knowledge and the empowerment in that is strong here as well. Individuals with this placement tend to be cunning; this placement is comparable to Mercury-Pluto or Mercury-Moon aspects. Lilith speaks through the individual, some of what the individual has to say evokes fear, though there is just as much power to negate and heal fear as well. Lilith here at its worst can make individuals liars and manipulators, at its best unravellers of mysteries and forecomings of truth. Since the third house has rulership over siblings and early education, this placement can have a “coming-of-age” theme to it. Often the fears and anxieties the individual has is stems from observing their siblings and peers go through their struggles at a young age and they reflect on what that means for them (especially for young girls). Some of these fears and insecurities from their youth stick with them and they continue to ponder their adolescence as an adult. These individuals tend to have a fixed perception (especially true if the third house is occupied by a fixed sign) of womanhood and aren’t afraid to speak their mind about it. They are easily disgusted and troubled by observing others with opposing perspectives. With that said, some of these individuals tend to be hypocritical and aren’t aware of it. The individual may need to learn to be more of a safe-haven for open discussion to work through their insecurities. 

IV House/Cancer  Lilith presenting itself in the first of the three soul houses demonstrates ancestral fear, turmoils, and mysteries. Often these individuals fears start out very subconsciously and are developed from witnessing other family members (maternal figures especially) go through something traumatic. Witnessing their mother struggle through their own perceptions of what it means to be a woman in this world has a tremendous effect on the individual, especially at a young age; it often shapes how the individual will view themselves and their place in the world. It can also make the individual have many preconceived ideas on motherhood, domestic life, and relationships between parents based on being their mother’s observer in their youth. If the relationship between the individual and their maternal figure(s) isn’t good, it can be difficult to address and heal these traumas. Sometimes these individuals can be total estranged from their maternal figures and have an unclear idea of what their stories are; many secrets can be kept from the individual and there can be a bit of loss in identity (e.g. no feminine guidance in youth/how to be feminine/rejection of femininity). The individual’s household can sometimes be a reflection of their inner turmoils, they may neglect making it their safe space or they see it as a cause to a lot of their issues. Lilith here can also express itself in a form of past life karma or a karmic cycle the individual may be in. The individual needs to work through what their fears, turmoils, and angers are tied to in order to break this cycle. 

V House/Leo  Lilith here is a trial of what a woman is allowed to do. Since the fifth house rules over creations and pleasures, there is a lot of experimentation in just that. The individuals feel as though push their limits and test the waters in everything because the world is antagonistic towards their identity. Their fear is being casted into an archetype; at an early age they would be introduced to concepts of how the world perceives the role of femininity. A lot of their behaviour can be excessive or reckless, especially in their youth. There is a tendency towards promiscuousness especially; they’re putting the two feminine archetypes on trial and attempting to destroy the notion that you can only be of the two based on what you do; the virgin Mary or the prostitute. Though a noble intention, these individuals can often be misguided with their excessive behaviours. They spend too much energy on trying to prove something to the world about their being when they don’t need to. Lilith here has the capacity to transform and redirect this noble energy into creative efforts. Artists can benefit with this placement as their creations are often thought provoking and, in essence, demonstrate trials of femininity. The creative expression of Lilith here is much more healing, gratifying, and gains more positive recognition. Lilith here can also indicate either the choice of not having children or that the individual’s child will be very Lilithian in nature.

VI House/Virgo  Lilith here presents itself irrationally, particularly, and sporadically. Though the individual doesn’t feel Lilith’s influence on a constant, it can be experienced on a day to day basis temporarily while doing minute or seemingly regular things. The fears brought upon here correlate to injury or illness (diseases, losing limbs, loss of function, etc.). These individuals find themselves irrationally thinking of the “what ifs” of rather normal situations. It should be stressed though, that often these individual’s fears are often not debilitating, just invasive and vivid. However, a strong 6th house/Virgo influence coincide with Lilith being there can indicate some obsessive compulsive behaviours and just in general lots of situations where the individual feels the need to do something a certain way to negate harm. The other prominent theme of Lilith here is a women’s experience in the working world. The transition between a young, inexperienced woman to an experienced one is a pivotal moment in Lilith’s expression here. There may be many difficulties, assumptions, and fears correlated to getting work, job experience, and moving up in their field. The individual’s fears often are related to feeling inadequate based on their identity, presumptions about themselves, and inhibitions because of their heightened awareness that their identity (especially for women, as a woman) places them in a particular way in the world. Their own perceptions of themselves are often the most inhibiting; the best way to transform and feel empowered with Lilith here is to be unapologetically yourself and take the world by surprise. 

VII House/Libra  In the seventh house, Lilith expresses fears of counterparts, peers, and juxtapositions. Lilith here usually hints to a tainted perception of relationships developed at a young age (e.g. abusive relationships firsthand or observed). The individual can be very suspicious and distrusting of close relationships and partnerships, they are very skeptical of others motives, especially of the opposite sex. This may be troublesome for the individual in relationships as they can be suspicious of their partner even with constant reassurance and stability. These issues can only be healed over time with positive, healthy relationships. Lilith in the seventh house is also troubled by their perception of themselves in comparison to others and vice versa. In particular, the conscious awareness of differences (and similarities) between genders and gendered experiences. Alternatively, Lilith here manifests as the individual’s reflection in others. The individual encounters people whose stories inspire things within their identity they’ve failed to see before. The mirror Lilith presents to the individual can be empowering and beautiful or destructive and ugly. When the individual chooses to surround themselves with empowering and inspiring individuals, it will bring out the good Lilith has to offer, especially for female experiences. 

VIII House/Scorpio  Lilith presenting itself in the second of three soul houses demonstrates yet again, a level of ancestral fear, turmoils, and mysteries. Fears experienced on a more conscious level, but run as deep as their soul. Often their fears revolve around sexuality and severe distrust of other people’s motives. It’s very difficult for these individuals to ignore harsh realities and they may even go out of their way to witness gruesome things which awakens outrage within. These individuals can view sex and intimacy as something traumatic and have a difficult time opening up to their partners; intimacy requires a tremendous amount of trust. Even when that trust is gained, there can be a deeply rooted discomfort in being viewed in a lustful manner. They can be very hateful towards the opposite sex and protective of their own. These individuals hate (or fear) to appear small or vulnerable and may even act dominant or controlling in relationships. These individuals need to work towards trusting others in order to let go of the grip Lilith has here. Another theme Lilith expresses is a fear of death, fear of knowing, and fear of the occult. This can be especially difficult for a person who is psychically sensitive. The individual may go out of their way to inhibit or block their own gifts due to the fear of it showing something they were not prepared for. Again, trust is a big aspect of overcoming these fears, but also knowledge and perceptiveness to know how to keep oneself from harm. 

IX House/Sagittarius  Lilith in the ninth house carries some of the same themes as Lilith in the third, however the difference is that instead of fixed perceptions on womanhood, their perceptions are more like beliefs and morals. They think their beliefs are imperative and the highest of truths which ultimately can be dogmatic and misguided. Their fixed beliefs are usually rooted from fear and superstition. They can be just as hypocritical as Lilith in the third too, especially when their consciousness isn’t clear (drugs or alcohol or any sort of substance abuse involved). Inner insecurities need to be addressed and healed to have a more rational perspective on life. There is a hyperfixation on the higher learnings of womanhood, some of these individuals can become reclusive; some women with this placement even opt to not marry. These individuals find empowerment in independence. Lilith at its best here can become a teacher to others, particularly beneficial for people interested in women’s studies and women’s health; however these individuals should be wary of their biases and their perceptions that are deeply rooted in their personal experiences thus far. Themes of feminine ritual take place here as well, which is in part of their tendency to superstition. Individual’s ritualism is developed at a young age and becomes a prominent part of their truth and reality as an adult.

X House/Capricorn  Lilith here can be rather difficult for the female experience. The themes brought upon here are a lot to do with the public’s speculation of the individual. These individuals tend to have a seemingly easy-breezy path towards the top of their field, in fact, one might say the top of their ambition drew them in as much as they drew it. However, Lilith here has a magnifying glass over it; the watchful eyes of the public seeing, judging, and speculating the individual’s every move. The individual may find themselves dealing with a lot of rumours about them, prosecution by association, misconceptions, unwanted drama, and assumptions. A lot of the troubles are correlated to society’s perception of how a woman should behave. The public sees the individual as the dark and mischievous version of Lilith, the public desires and feeds on that perception of the individual. As a result, the individual may purposefully act out or feel complete shame and go into hiding. Issues dealing with feeling vulnerable all the time because of their identity are very present within the individual. Lilith at its best here can make a notable feminine figurehead, the individual just needs to work on transforming the public’s perception of femininity as something empowering. The other theme with Lilith in the tenth house is potential issues with the paternal figure in the individual’s life. There’s potential that the paternal figure had a great impact on the core of individual’s feminine experience and perceptions in life. 

XI House/Aquarius  Lilith in the eleventh house deals with themes of the individual’s collective consciousness being at the core of their feminine experience. Collective consciousness usually meaning their friends; prominent, reality shaping experiences with their friends and peers at a young age are at the core of their insecurities, fears, and perceptions of feminine energy. This placement does demonstrate not so great relations with friends, especially female friends. In fact, that is Lilith in the eleventh house at its worst; bullying from female friends and the psychological damage from that. It’s very easy for individuals with this placement to alienate themselves from others based on negative experiences. At its best, collective consciousness can be beneficial for exploring and understanding femininity and female experience as a whole, but the individual with this placement will have to navigate through to find the right people, or their people. Individuals with this placement may be interested in helping others struggling with feminine identity and some of the struggles of womanhood as they are quite empathetic to that experience. Another theme with Lilith here is the value of platonic relations. Individuals with this placement struggle with the stage between a platonic relationship and blooming attraction. There’s a deep discomfort with it, especially if they value the relationship as just a friendship and nothing more. They can also be suspicious of the motives of new friendships, perhaps from deeply rooted insecurity or simply that they don’t want a romantic/sexual relationship. 

XII House/Pisces  Lilith presenting itself in the third and final soul house is completely unconscious; Lilith is asleep and almost absent here. Loss of feminine identity takes place here. Individuals with this placement will experience Lilith’s themes within their dreams and times of total darkness. Individuals with this placement aren’t always aware of their trauma, fears, or turmoils. There’s a chance something traumatic happened to them at a time they cannot remember or it’s something they blocked out entirely, but tends to haunts them within their dreams. These individuals tend to be very angry at themselves for things they cannot control and for things that are often not their fault. These individuals are also escapists; they are very susceptible to addiction or obsessive compulsive behaviours. Though, Most 12th house Lilith individuals escape through sleeping. Excessive sleeping, however, leads to guilt. These individuals fear death and don’t want to watch life pass them by. There’s a big theme here of push and pull; doing everything you can in life to not regret missing out and the absence of living life. Lilith here needs to seek balance and acceptance instead of pondering too much about what fate lies within them. The unconscious traumas within them need to be carefully addressed and healed as well to feel comfortable with their identity and place in this world (especially as a woman).

[myfirelight64]

1/? I'm posting the reading I did. I did two readings but they are close to each other, so they are connected and I think of them as one. Btw, I don't trust myself completely because I've only been practicing this for a couple of years and solely for my entertainment, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt. What I saw was that there is lots of love between them. [This is going to be huge I'm so sorry.]

2/? Imagine a waterfall as big as the Niagara Falls and all this impetuous uncontrollable water is their love and they are standing right underneath it naked and completely vulnerable and the water hits them with all its force and they are submerged into the water. That's how intense it is. It's a love they can't control but they are happy about it. They see this love as a gift despite how much of a burden it can be sometimes. 3/? About Baekhyun, I saw that he has been struggling internally for years to accept who he is because he always wants to please the people around him but now he has accepted himself and he is at peace with himself and he is stronger than ever. He doesn't care what the world thinks anymore. Imagine a tall tree with strong roots going deep into the earth. That's Baekhyun. Nothing can sway him. 4/? About Chanyeol (that one actually surprised me because he's Park f*cking Chanyeol you know), I saw lots of insecurities and he tends to projects them to others. He feels like he isn't good enough, there's always someone better than him and that's why he needs to work harder and harder to prove himself. That probably creates many unreasonable jealousy fits from Chanyeol's side. He feels he lacks. He thinks he is in a constant race with the world but in reality he is in a race with himself. 5/? Together, they have created a safe place in which both and especially Chanyeol feel serenity. Imagine being in a very cozy warm house during a dangerous thunderstorm but you're in a comfy bed, with a cup of hot cocoa cuddling the love of your life and you don't care about any storm because your house is strong, that kind of feeling you know, and they are both willing to fight very hard to protect this "place" because they worked to get where they are now with their relationship. 6/? I did the first reading during the SuperM debut and I saw lots of negativity and stress and anger coming from both sides. They were both feeling that the other couldn't understand them. I saw that they were trying to talk it through but it was hard. They were both very hurt of the other person's behaviour and words. In the 2nd reading, which was a bit after the Obsession comeback, I saw peacefulness again. They were back their normal happy selves. 7/? I don't see any "plan of breaking up". I see two people who aren't perfect but they're determined to fight any obstacle in their way, especially Baekhyun. Man, this dude is ready to tear their enemies down I'm telling you!!! I sensed that Baekhyun is the stronger one in this. He is the one who is willing put himself between the "threat" and Chanyeol and take the hits for both of them, if it meant that it would keep Chanyeol safe and unharmed. 8/? Both times I did the reading, I sensed a very deep connection. Sometimes I felt like I was reading about one soul manifesting into two people or about two souls slowly becoming one, if that's even possible. I don't think they could survive separation. You never know what the long-term future brings but I think those two are tied together for many lifetimes to come. 9/9 That was my reading. As I said, be skeptical, guys. Not just of me but also of any tarot reader, astrologer, fortune teller out there. Some might want to take advantage of you, some want your money, some want to suck your energy, others project themselves too much into their readings. Be open-minded but mindful.

LISTEN

ARE YOU A TAROT READER OR AN INSIDER BECAUSE UUUUHH

I dont even know if there was something I disagree with based on what Ive seen - you seem spot on on every single point. You’re really talented on this and this is such a pretty insight into it all~ thank you so much for this ♥

[kunoichihatake]

my confession is that right now my medication needs to be refilled and my brain feels like my own enemy. it feels like I’m not in control of where my brain goes and realizing that im so fucking touch starved that i just want to hire a cuddler and scream into their arms.

im 25 and i have a genetic mutation where it severely impacts how much energy my body makes which has lead to me being overweight and without the energy to work it off. i can’t work and im relying on my moms money. I’m so privileged that I can do even that but all I feel is worthless that I can’t control my own finances

im 25 and ive never had a healthy relationship or friendship. i thought for so long that if I gave enough of myself to my friends and my partners that they’d give back, which has lead to so many abusive and predatory relationships and I’m just now figuring it out. the man I last had e,optional ties to only was interested once I told him I was a virgin and bared my soul to him about every trauma I had bc he said he could fix me. he’s 10 older than me and married. I didn’t love him at all but realizing how unsafe he was has broken me in ways I can’t fix right now. I’m so fucking stupid and all I wanted was someone who cared about me

im scared that im never going to be able to live independently and constantly having to check not only my own mental health but also the ulterior motives of everyone who isn’t my family.

i don’t want to die, I’m not suicidal. I’m just so tired of my life being so hard. Im so fucking terrified. I want to socialize and experience healthy people but I’m so fucking scared

I’m so sorry you’re going through this my love 😔💕 I’m not sure my advice will be much help since I’ve never been in your situation, but something I’ve learned after a lifetime of depression, anxiety and abuse is that it is really truly important to become comfortable with yourself. at the end of the day, you’re the only one who’s you, and it’s important that you become content (if not happy) with who you are.

being alone can be extremely isolating and painful — trust me, I understand that. but it can also be a good time for introspection. what are some things you like about yourself? what are some things you realistically want to improve, and how can you do that? for example, I love that I am so caring and want to help others. even if that has caused me to be hurt in the past, it’s not my fault — it’s the fault of people who have taken advantage of me, and at the end of the day they won’t be much happier because they’re missing out on the things that make you truly happy. something I want to improve is standing up for myself. I’m working on that by addressing the little things — for example, a friend of mine recently said something in a group chat that rubbed me the wrong way, and so I mustered the courage to privately message her and tell her I was uncomfortable. not only did she apologize and understand, but she actually thanked me for self advocating! I’m still not ready to address a lot of hard truths with people I care about, but it’s certainly progress.

I’d also suggest finding something you enjoy that’s easy for you to do on your own. for example, you can pick up drawing or writing. even watching shows/movies that are relaxing to you can be good! find something you can enjoy when you’re alone so you don’t feel like you’re missing out. in my experience, sometimes I even wish to be alone when I’m with others so I can do those things!

lastly, remind yourself that you are a person, and that means you deserve to be here and you deserve to be loved. you are not a burden or a failure. it may be more difficult for you to find people who truly care for you, but in time you will weed out the bad ones and find people who love you who you are, and who see your “flaws” as wonderful benefits of your character. I know it sounds empty, but i swear it gets better. I spent most of my life feeling similarly to you, but after taking time to think introspectively and grow to love myself, I have come miles away from the suicidal teenager I was only a few years ago. one day, you too will look back and feel like your problems were forever ago, and will be proud of how far you’ve come.

as i’ve mentioned before, my ask box and dms are always open if you need more advice or support. i know words from a stranger on the internet might not do much, but I sincerely hope I helped a little. i understand what it’s like to feel completely alone and like there’s no light in the future, but it’ll come. just try to be patient and make the best of things while you wait — after all, a garden doesn’t grow if it isn’t watered.

(ps please take your meds! they may seem like they don’t help sometimes but they’re so important to helping your body do what it needs to do! and as someone who cold-turkeyed getting off meds once i absolutely do NOT suggest it lol)

[questionsonislam]

Is it true that a person who commits the sin of associating partners with Allah will not be forgiven?

It is stated in the Quran that a person who lives as a polytheist and dies as a polytheist will remain in Hell forever. However, it is also stated in the Quran that if a polytheist repents before he dies and believes in Allah, he will be forgiven.

When we study the Quran, we see that those who associate partners with Allah do so by opposing oneness as a result of obeying their souls. In all polytheistic communities, immorality, the feelings of the soul, oppression, ambition, naughtiness, rampage and utilitarianism are dominant. The basis of polytheism is people not believing in Allah fully, not obeying His orders and prohibitions properly; then, they fall into debauchery as described above. This issue is mentioned in many verses: (al-A'raf, 7/80, 81, 85, 86; Yusuf, 12/23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 35; al-Hijr, 15/3 etc)

Along with the verses of the Quran, the issue of polytheism is mentioned in detail in hadiths and academic books. Associating partners with Allah in terms of His oneness is polytheism; associating partners with Him in terms of His power and administration is also polytheism. Another form of polytheism is to expect the results that need to be expected from Allah only from others.

The opposite of polytheism is oneness. Oneness means to accept the existence and oneness of Allah, that only He has power in His administration, and that His domination and will are superior to everything. Oneness is essential in the religion of Islam. The main purpose of almost all kinds of worship is to establish unity among Muslims. All of the Muslims around world reciting the same adhan, turning toward the same qiblah are an indication of oneness. Polytheism is the opposite of it. To harm the belief about the oneness of Allah, which is the main purpose and essential aim of oneness, and to associate partners with Allah are regarded as the biggest polytheism.

Allah states the following in the Quran, describing polytheism as wrong-doing: "False worship is indeed the highest wrong-doing." (Luqman, 31/13) As a matter of fact, a person who falls into polytheism wrongs his own soul by doing so. (al-Mawardi, an-Nukatu wa'l-Uyun, Beirut, 1992, IV, 333). Polytheism is also regarded as wrong-doing because when a person opposes the universal law to which the skies, the earth and the beings in them, matter and life surrender, that is, the fact that Allah is the unique deity and Lord, he does not give Allah His due. Another verse supporting the fact that a person who falls into polytheism wrongs his own soul is as follows:

"Being true in faith to Allah and never assigning partners to Him: if anyone assigns partners to Allah he is as if he had fallen from heaven and been snatched up by birds or the wind had swooped (like a bird on its prey) and thrown him into a far-distant place." (al-Hajj, 22/31 )

A person who falls into polytheism becomes so terrible that his ties with Allah break off, he loses his sense of direction, he cannot distinguish the bad from the good and he becomes so confused as to kill his own child. Their terrible situation is described as follows in the Quran:

"Even so, in the eyes of most of the Pagans, their `partners' made alluring the slaughter of their children in order to lead them to their own destruction, and cause confusion in their religion. If Allah had willed, they would not have done so: but leave alone them and their inventions!" (al-An'am, 6/137)

Some other verses showing how Allah sees polytheism and the definition of polytheism in the Quran are as follows:

"Allah forgiveth not (the sin of) joining other gods with Him: but He forgiveth whom He pleaseth other sins than this: one who joins other gods with Allah, hath strayed far, far away (from the Right)." (an-Nisa, 4/116)

"Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness." (al-Baqara, 2/221)

"Those who reject (Truth), among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, will be in Hell-fire, to dwell therein (for aye). They are the worst of creatures." (al-Bayyina, 98/6)

It is necessary not to obey polytheism, which is contrary to oneness, and the orders of Allah and the Prophet, no matter from whom it comes. Islam orders people to obey their parents and to show respect to them but polytheism asks people not to obey them and not to be subject to them. One of the verses regarding the issue is as follows:

"We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did." (al-Ankabut, 29/8).

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) lists polytheism as the first one among the destructive sins. The following is stated in a hadith regarding the issue:

"Avoid seven destructive deeds:

1- To associate partners with Allah;

2- To deal with magic (and sorcery, witchcraft, etc);

3- To kill a person unjustly, which is rendered haram by Allah;

4- To eat (spend) the property of orphans;

5- To run away from battlefield;

6- To eat usury (interest);

7- To slander chaste, honorable and innocent women stating that they have committed fornication." (Bukhari, Wasaya, 23, Tibb, 48, Hudud, 44; Muslim, Iman, 144; Abu Dawud, Wasaya, 10; Nasai, Wasaya, 12).

It was stated by the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) that the sins except polytheism could be forgiven, that if a believer committed sins, he would definitely go to Paradise after he was punished for his sins and that if those who committed polytheism died before they repented, they would not be forgiven as follows:

"Gabriel (Jibril) came to me and gave the following glad tidings: 'Whoever from your ummah dies without having associated partners with Allah enters Paradise.' Thereupon, I asked him, 'Even if he has committed fornication and theft?' He answered, 'Yes, even if he has committed fornication and theft.'" According to what the Prophet (pbuh) said, he asked Jibril the same question three times and Jibril gave the same answer. (Bukhari, Janaiz, 1, Libas, 24, Isti'dhan, 30, Riqaq, 13,14, Tawhid, 33; Muslim, Iman, 153, 154, Zakah, 32,33; Tirmidhi, Iman, 18; Ahmad b. Hanbal, V, 152, 159, 161, VI, 166)

There is another kind of polytheism called small polytheism. It means to perform worshipping by showing off and deviating from the consent of Allah. The following is stated in the Quran regarding the issue:

"Whoever expects to meet his Lord, let him work righteousness, and in the worship of his Lord, admit no one as partner." (al-Kahf, 18/110).

What is meant by admitting no one as partners of Allah is not to be sincere in worshipping and to have feelings of hypocrisy, show off, interest and similar ones. (al-Baydawi, Anvaru't-Tanzil wa Asraru't-Ta'wil, Egypt 1955, II, 14)

Some of the hadiths of Hz. Muhammad (pbuh) regarding the issue are as follows:

What I fear the most about you is small polytheism. Those who were there asked, "O Messenger of Allah! What is small polytheism?" The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) answered, "Small polytheism is hypocrisy, that is, show off. When people are given their rewards for their deeds on the Day of Judgment, Allah will say to them, "Go to the people to whom you showed your worshipping through hypocrisy and show off and see whether you will find any rewards for you from them." (Ahmad b. Hanbal, V, 428, 429)

"What I fear the most about my ummah is associating partners with Allah. Pay attention. I do not say they will worship the moon, sun or idols. They will do deeds for things outside the consent of Allah; they will show off." (Ibn Majah, Zuhd, 21)

Abu Hurayra narrates:

I heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) say: The first of men whose case will be decided on the Day of Judgment will be a man who died as a martyr. He shall be brought before the Judgment Seat. Allah will make him recount His blessings (i. e. the blessings which He had bestowed upon him) and he will recount them and admit having enjoyed them in his life.

Allah will say: What did you do to requite these blessings? He will say:

I fought for Thee until I died as a martyr. Allah will say:

You have told a lie. You fought that you might be called a" brave warrior". And you were called so. Then, orders will be passed against him and he will be dragged with his face downward and cast into Hell.

Then will be brought forward a man who acquired knowledge and imparted it to others and recited the Qur'an. He will be brought and Allah will make him recount His blessings and he will recount them and admit having enjoyed them in his lifetime. Then will Allah ask:

What did you do to requite these blessings? He will say:

I acquired knowledge and disseminated it and recited the Qur'an seeking Thy pleasure.

Allah will say: You have told a lie. You acquired knowledge so that you might be called "a scholar"; and you recited the Quran so that it might be said:" He is a Qari" and such has been said. Then, orders will be passed against him and he shall be dragged with his face downward and cast into the Fire.

Then will be brought a man whom Allah had made abundantly rich and had granted every kind of wealth. He will be brought and Allah will make him recount His blessings and he will recount them and admit having enjoyed them in his lifetime. Allah will (then) ask:

What have you done to requite these blessings?

He will say: I spent money in every cause in which You wished that it should be spent.

Allah will say: You are lying. You did it so that it might be said about you:" He is a generous fellow" and so it was said. Then will Allah pass orders and he will be dragged with his face downward and thrown into Hell." (Muslim, Imara, 152; Nasai, Jihad, 22; Ahmad b. Hanbal, II, 322)

As it is stated in the hadith, to become a martyr, to become a scholar, to do charity are very good deeds. However, if they are not done for the sake and consent of Allah but for hypocrisy, show off or any other feeling of interest, they have no value.

[cannibalisticshadows]

Nightcall (2/2)

[ao3 Link] .    [Part One]

Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.

The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.

“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.

“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“

Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.

Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.

His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.

Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.

And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?

Well, he’d find out tonight.

He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn’t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.

And he wouldn’t be alone.

Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.

So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”

When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.

The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—

“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.

Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.

Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.

He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.

And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.

Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.

They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.

After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.

Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.

As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.

With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.

“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.

“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“

“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.

“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”

Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.

Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.

“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”

“Mm.”

“But—I… I…”

She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah—s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”

She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.

He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.

The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.

They sit in silence for a long time.

“I’m done,” he suddenly says.

He hears her move around again.

“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…

“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “

She lets out a muffled sound again.

“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”

Roxanne suddenly spits.

Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.

He shrinks in his seat.

“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.

“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—

She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—

Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.

The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—

She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.

“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”

He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“

She sniffles.

He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“

“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”

“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”

“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”

He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”

“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.

As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—

She slaps him in the chest.

He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.

“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“

“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”

This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”

“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“

Her lips are on his again.

Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.

When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.

“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."

What.

"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”

His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—

“You—you what—“

Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”

He jolts in his seat.

“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”

“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”

“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”

Hapless, he stares at his knees.

“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”

“All of it,” he breaths.

Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”

He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!

“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”

She looks at him in confusion.

“You were always falling asleep.”

Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”

“Why.” It isn’t a question.

“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”

“N—!“

She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.

"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.

He wants to bang his head against the wall.

“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”

“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.

“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”

He nods, expecting that answer.

“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”

“O-kay...?”

Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”

“W—“

“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.

This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.

He’s glad he told her.

[invisibleimpossibilities]

Custom Bio: Section IV

IV. Where the Timelines Split

    Only so many successful defenses could protect her wards before word spread among thieves. No matter how she might have prepared when things around the her little corner stayed too quiet for too long, a large enough and coordinated enough group could just not be stopped by one person and a few booby traps. The oncoming attack would become a fixed point in fate, leaving a young woman lying unconscious in the very grasses she'd tried to save, and about to awaken to a whole new life.

    What life... varied.

1. Grima [Original timeline]

     A vicious, valiant effort to fight off far too numerous bandits left her wounded, surrounded, disarmed, and disgraced. They were interested in loot, not lives, and were quite happy to leave her breathing to goad and watch her wallow in her own pitiful, defeated state. Bound in ropes and broken down, one last blow from the hilt of an axe to her already dizzy head knocked the last remnants of awareness from her brain. They ransacked while she lay senseless, chased the couple from their own house, plundered the place, and then burnt it down for sport. So too, did they steal away her home, her last hopes, any pride to even try and seek out another provider, and any heart she might have had left.

     She'd learned the extension of her original Grimleal lessons that day, she decided: Life is cruel, and no one can really make it better for very long. Everything is doomed to collapse in one way or another, sooner or later. All that mattered in the meantime was power. Enough power to destroy anyone and anything before it destroys you.

     She heard voices nearby, shouting at each other, shouting names. Chrom. Lissa. The royal siblings. The prince who'd failed a member of his kingdom for so long, who'd let her scrounge around and suffer the treatment of his supposed nobles and dignified countrymen. A convenient and perfect person to rid herself of and start taking better control of her life and this land. Still beaten and shaking from the attack several hours ago, the group ate her sob story right up. Offered her safe passage to the next town - the next town, which those bandits had deemed another target. With more bodies and weapons like pawns at her back, she'd take them down. How perfect that vengeance could buy her way into the prince's favor and earn her a place in his Shepherds.

     Soon enough, those scouting out for an assassination attack would take home word of a strange Plegian girl fighting with an extension of Ylisse's army, and Validar would contact his lost daughter with promises that she was far more amenable to (now so distanced from her late mother and disillusioned with half of her teachings). She would act as double agent, further earning the trust of the exalts, all the while sneaking people into Ylisstol and reconnaissance back to Plegia, working alongside her father's instructions to ensure the great Grima's plan could unfold, and biding her excitement until the day she could burn the heart of Naga's chosen one and ascend to her rightful throne of godhood.

     She made no ties with the lessers who surrounded her; never loved and never married. While child minions sounded quite useful, she didn't risk worthy blood being passed on; didn't risk a successor who might steal Grima's favor from her.

     (Plucking possible children from alternate timelines once Grima had already taken over, however... remained an option.)

     Grima the Fell Dragon brought about the apocalypse this world deserved.

2. Robin [Game timeline - Neutral End (?) - Morgan's timeline]

     Grima remembered the moment there was a change of heart which made it more powerful. In chasing Lucina into the past, he decided to meet his vessel there to merge. It didn't go as planned.

     The hired sword and the bandits still rushed forward to meet in the farmer's field, but as initial taunts were being tossed... the young woman passed out. With a few kicks and a hearty laugh at how much better they must be than the fools who'd called her a challenge, they passed right on. They ravaged the homestead just the same, but now... she never even found out. Never hurt or regretted, for it meant nothing to her.

     A man found her in the field, he matched the face of the vision he had woken her from. She remembered his name... and that is all.

     Someone asks for hers, and the only clouded image which came to mind

was the yellow-beaked dawn of a new day and the warm array like a sunrise on the breast of a horizon all shining bright to break through dreary browns and grays of fate that surround it to mark the coming of spring after a cold, harsh winter

The answer that perched on the branch of her tongue that stirred her soul as something appropriate that formed more familiar from her lips was not the forgotten name of a destined daughter

but a chosen identity: Robin.

     Robin became a loyal Shepherd. Learned what it meant to support, to love, to better one's self... to look up to someone and earn their trust in return. Befriended her prince and his people, honestly and truly. Thwarted cultists and warlords as they rose. Fought for good and to change fate, and fought for her friends to help their dreams come true.

     Struggles and personal ties and further studies and long conversations taught her to open her heart to introspection. To emotion and intimacy.

     She even became a wife.

     When the final battle against her former self and the choice to bring Grima's terror to a temporary halt or to total destruction was placed before her, everyone told her not to take the final blow. Told her that she was still needed and it would be best to take care of herself, and a different future could be safeguarded by a different group who would certainly also be successful. She wanted to be part of a future; she didn't want to leave anyone behind or be the cause of their pain. So many voices made her promise not to leave, said that to keep her around was worth it.

     She loved them. So she listened to them. She let Chrom lay the fell dragon down to an indefinite sleep, and she went on living her life.

     A decision which would slowly eat away at every bit of her sanity from that day forward.

     Along the way, she became a mother, too.

     She thought she would be happy. With all the terrible calls and cruel decisions and juggling of people's lives, she thought she could live with letting herself thrive for once. No. She felt nothing but guilt. She looked around and saw nothing but regret. Each day felt like one she'd stolen from someone else. Each word that came from another felt like more reassuring lies.  

     She started resenting those around her. Finally researched more of the religion she'd apparently been raised with, ...and found it making far more sense than she'd ever thought. The solace of the damned. It wasn’t okay. It had never been okay. She shouldn't have listened, she shouldn't have opened herself. She believed so strongly in the invisible ties between people, but it had brought her nothing but misery in the end, anyway. It had changed nothing about future or fate. One day Grima would come again. It was inevitable. It would always be inevitable.

     And it would happen sooner than the several lifetimes everyone else thought they'd won.

     In her madness, Robin would begin the sacrifice - as always - with her own family. But in a brief moment of lucidity (the eyes of Morgan, the terrified, innocent eyes of her child), she would beg Naga for a second chance. One more chance to change fate. The other children were blessed with one, why not her own! Open the past again! Let her heart learn one more thing!

     It was granted, and by Naga's power, once her son passed through the gate - all memories besides the mission given by a mother, all memories of terrible atrocities, would be erased, in the hopes that they could finally be undone.

3. Morgan [Game timeline - Good End]

     One more traveler enters the past through a portal to the Ruins of Time. With Lucina. With Grima. To find a Robin who'd recently claimed her own identity.

     And he would help her envision what having a future really meant. Help her understand what it meant to love a child, and how to make and forgive even harder choices (which yet only really ever had one answer) which came with that responsibility. He would show her that in giving the love of a mother, there is nothing she would not or could not do to ensure that her life would be used to leave a better world for him and any other children.

     Even if the cost was death itself.

[comradeocean]

Rogue One fic recs

Mostly Cassian/Jyn (rebelcaptain) with a few about K-2SO and ok also some meta links and this cool fanvid and a mixtape I made, or, No It’s Perfectly Alright My Life Has Been Overrun By Rogue One Not Like I Needed It For Anything Else (I do. It’s not alright. It’s really. really. not. alright.)

Organized by: K-2SO \\ Canon Compliant \\ AU - Scarif and Immediate Aftermath \\ AU - timeskip \\ AU - not even a little bit EU \\ AU - other (no Rogue One timeline, multiverse, etc) \\ Misc

- I’ve mostly avoided to non-canon AUs and WIPs but I’m sure that’ll change as I sink deeper into this mess - for the not-everyone-lives AUs, the surviving characters are denoted in brackets. (e.g. [BR, CA, JE]) if there are no brackets that either means the fic has everyone on the initial Rogue One team (BR, CA, JE, CI, BM, K) survive Scarif or that no casualties are mentioned - About 50 links in and I’m less than 3/4 through the tabs I have saved ooooops. I’ll continue to update as the spiraling continues.

===== K-2SO ===== title: Unseen by: TheCookieMonster77 rating: teen word count: 400 summary: Kaytoo had known this droid. notes: I found that droid extraction scene on Scarif very striking, like there was something horrifying and tragic going on. I'm glad someone wrote a little fic about it.

title: climb, climb by: peradi rating: not rated word count: 1039 summary: K-2SO: the droid with existential anxiety and a smart mouth. notes: "Additional Tags: Sad Robots" saaaaaad I am le sad

title: firefly by: peradi rating: not rated word count: 4483 summary: Humanity is infectious, Finn makes friends with droids, and K2 cannot get any rest: the story of how Rogue One flies again. notes: "additional tags: droids having feelings, musings about what droids are, the force has a plan and the force is a dick, chirrut imwe is always right, k2 can't catch a break, legacy, Crack Treated Seriously, the fic where k2 is reincarnated as the falcon" I laughed. I almost cried, several times. ALL the droids are so incredibly well written - K-2SO, BB-8, R2, the brief mentions of C3PO. the humans are ok too, I guess. [I kid, but Finn and Poe are legit amazing in this as well]

title: A Cog In Something Turning by: Redrikki rating: gen word count: 1742 summary: Cassian hadn't meant to give K-2SO free will. Good thing for both of them he's a terrible slicer. notes: my favourite Cassian-and-K-2SO fic

title: The Ghosts in the Machines by: squireofgeekdom rating: gen word count: 1985 summary: How K2SO's many ghosts aided the Rebellion and stymied the Imperials, and how one of those ghosts carried the memories of Rogue One past the end of the Empire. notes: love love love the concept and the execution

title: RUN SIMULATION: SCENARIO ABB-10AU by: sarahlucielle rating: teen word count: 1125 summary: K-2SO mentally simulates what might have been.

title: The Genre Does Not Support This by: nymja rating: teen word count: 990 summary: “I have decided to be proactive,” the droid responded primly. “Proactive? For what?” Jyn leaned forward in her chair. “Sexual tension will increase mission failure by approximately 12.95%.” K-2SO suspects something is going on between Cassian and Jyn. notes: they are so oblivious and bad at feelings[1]! K2 is so extremely put upon!!!! EVERTHING IS WONDERFUL AND NOTHING HURTS [1] Jyn had seen her share of strange things. An Imperial droid in a mood swing was now one of them. “…Right. Well.” She looked back down at her blaster, because that was at least a familiar terrain on which to solve a problem. “Let me know if I can help.” PERF JYN CHARACTERIZATION

title: not titled by: radiojamming rating: not rated word count: short summary: Jyn trying to get information out of K-2SO about what kind of things that Cassian likes. notes: Jyn! flailing! K-2SO! unhelpful in the extreme! a heartwarming ending!

===== Canon Compliant ===== title: on the white shores of scarif by: jynorgana rating: gen word count: 2648 summary: In case you were wondering, this is what Jyn Erso thinks about love. notes: love and Jyn and Saw Gerrera and Cassian. I wanted so much more of that fraught difficult relationship Jyn has with Saw Gerrera, with growing up with him. This is exactly what I wanted.

title: a hundred flags flying in a field by: ginnyweasleys rating: teen word count: 2850 summary: So much of him is all jagged edges and war-hardened heart. She hadn’t thought there was much room for softness.(five times jyn and cassian touch.) notes: I love how steady and careful Cassian is, esp in contrast to Jyn

title: Touching Freedom by: endeni rating: mature word count: 1795 summary: The things Cassian has done for the Cause. notes: “They don't own me,” she repeats, slowly this time. “What they do with my body, it doesn't matter. They think they can take what they want, do what they want, to us, to the whole galaxy. But they’re wrong, Cassian, okay? They’re wrong.” and later Like he never expected Cassian to last as long as he did in the first place, like he’d been waiting for those words to come out of his mouth for years now and he’s almost surprised he’s finally hearing them. people being conscious of having a body and trying to extract something from that consciousness is something I am drawn to

title: ghost stories by: ZeGabz rating: gen word count: 2085 summary: Rey's daydreams speak to her sometimes.The voices echo Rebellions. notes: Jyn is a force ghost only seen by Rey

title: hope lives on by: peradi rating: not rated word count: 7298 summary: Bodhi dies. This is what happens afterwards. Or: Bodhi becomes the patron saint of the Resistance. notes: very much a story of how Bodhi is a patron saint in the storyworld of The Force Awakens (with the mythology of the prequels and Rogue One intact). funny. slightly didactic, but in a way I found pleasing.

title: star-crossed by: poseidon rating: not rated word count: 2256 summary: They're not going to survive. They were never going to survive. notes: I like the K-2SO section

title: not titled by: reystars rating: not rated word count: short summary: headcanon segued into fic about that blaster Jyn stole from Cassian

title: not titled by: radiojamming rating: not rated word count: short summary: Jyn, inner thoughts: "He's staring at me again, why is he staring at me again - can't he stop judging me for a minute, GEEZ." Cassian, inner thoughts: "She's got space gravy on her bottom lip and I don't know if I want to tell her or if I want to lick it off." notes: a farce! the POV switch turns this into a veritable farce!

title: Sinner's Worth by: guineapiggie rating: teen word count: 1147 summary: For a while, they just sit there, pointedly staring at the wall opposite, but then her curiosity gets the better of her. “Why risk your life to get me out of there? I’d played my part. You lot should see the bigger picture, right?” At first, she thinks he’s just decided to ignore her, then he sighs softly and says: “The truth?” She doesn’t think his question warrants an answer. This man turns out to be a very unpredictable bundle of contradictions, and he’s far too honest for a spy. notes: post-Jedha

title: There For You by: guineapiggie rating: gen word count: 1954 summary: “That’s good,” she mutters, motioning towards her bowl with her spoon. His eyes dart up and then there’s a small smile twitching around his lips. It isn’t much, but it makes her wonder what he looks like with an actual smile on his face, and she imagines it looks quite nice. She hates herself a little for that thought." They reach Yavin IV and Jyn has every intention to lock herself in the room they've given her and not come out ever again. However, someone strongly disagrees with that plan. notes: post-Eadu OH MY GOD the yearning the unfulfilled! yearning!

title: rise/set by: nymja rating: teen word count: 452 summary: Her fingers slide over the mug. They’re both wearing gloves, but for a moment there’s something to the heat of the metal that she wonders about. notes: Jyn and Cassian and the sun during Rogue One. wistful in the best way.

title: Finding Myself (And Maybe You) series [WIP] by: copper_nails rating: mature, explicit word count: 16357 summary: "The barracks on Yavin Four aren’t meant to double as guest quarters." Or: Jyn's first night with the Alliance is a...cozy one. then: Cassian takes on a bunk guest and finds the entire experience...confusing. and: “I am not programmed to believe in miracles,” K-2SO informs her as they take the final steps towards the door, “but the fact that you did not kill the captain in his sleep registers as close to an impossibility as is processable. I do not anticipate such an outlier occurring again.” The effort it takes Jyn not to roll her eyes is almost unbearable. “We’ll see, K-2,” she says, stepping out into the light of day. “We’ll see.” notes: drunk bed-sharing, mutual distrust, sexual frustration. all that good stuff.

title: i imagine life so much it feels like a memory by: alsoalsowik rating: mature word count: 792 summary: In their final moments, Cassian sees an entire lifetime he won’t get to have in Jyn’s eyes. notes: I have such a weakness for these momentary could-have-been lives imagined by one or both of them on the beach.

title: What Might Have Been  by: AgentVeronica rating: teen word count: 2101 summary: With each soul, a world dies. notes: there is so much I love about this fic - the way the tenses and POV make it seem like instances of documentation, the way the imagined future spreads out

title: you were my new home by: katsumi rating: teen word count: 4690 summary:  She surprises herself with the force of the want in her. She’s only known him a few weeks—and he’s gruff, and secretive, and single-minded to a dangerous degree—but he’s the first person in a long time she’s had any real ties to. And yes, his loyalty is not to her so much as it is to the cause she’s now a part of. But for now, he’s just a little bit hers in a way that no one else has been for a very, very long time. Before they can meet with Saw Gerrera, they have to find Saw Gerrera, and that takes time. On the search, Jyn and Cassian grow closer. notes: lengthy missing moments fic of all our dreams

===== AU - Scarif & immediate aftermath ===== title: Beinahe [BR, CA, JE] by: guineapiggie rating: teen word count: 7071 summary: People around them assume they must have had an affair before, and she can't blame them. She's holding his hand, sleeping in his bed, and if she wasn't lauded a hero of the Rebellion, they would never let her do that. But they are, so instead they spin stories of the two of them. She couldn't care less. What she cares about, once he gets better, is what becomes of two people who were almost strangers and who held each other as death came for them, and then woke up to find they weren't dead. She doesn't know what that means, except that she wants to kiss him more than ever, because he's the only source of solace she has had in a long time, and she needs one more than ever. (If she had to chose a word for Cassian Andor, it's almost.) - Surviving Scarif and leaving Scarif are two very different things. - notes: amazing how survivor's guilt is written here. love the long, slow burn.

title: Inevitable [WIP] [BR, CA, JE] by: cellorocket rating: teen word count: 10869 summary: He had the kind of face you saw everywhere, and nowhere at the same time – so unremarkably average that it was almost suspicious. But he knew how to wear it, knew how to be a thousand different things; whatever the mission required. Though he often disappeared into whatever role he was assigned, sometimes she saw glimmers of an emotion she couldn’t read ripple over those strangely common features, and knew it had no place in a liar’s arsenal of masks. Sad eyes, she thought, shivering. He can’t hide those. || the rogue one trio + episode iv and onward notes: I really like Bodhi and Jyn’s POVs and the sense of how strange it is to be so extremely close to people they barely know, and the simultaneous distance that incongruity creates

title: Long Way Home series [WIP] by: noelia_g rating: gen, explicit word count: 15357 summary: In which they all live and Jyn Erso is on a quest to fix a droid. Rogue One in the aftermath. Cassian Andor before Rogue One, during, and after. notes: god GOD

title: Arm's Length [CA, JE] by: FollowMyFeet rating: mature word count: 6404 summary: "You want me to hate you?" he hisses. "Okay, I'll hate you." notes: the first chapter killed me

title: stubborn hope by: conjurewithrisk rating: teen word count: 475 summary: This is a rebellion. They rebel by staying alive. notes: so I have lots of thought and feelings about martyrdom and survival and how maybe staying alive is the most revolutionary thing of all but also possibly the least idk. this brought up some stuff for me

title: they have stolen the heart from inside you (but this does not define you) [CA, JE] by: gingergenower rating: teen word count: 1578 summary: Jyn and Cassian escaped Scarif, and they end up in a rebel base in the middle of nowhere while they collect themselves. They are all stardust. notes: I like the fics where they are stricken with survivor’s guilt. I also like this one where Jyn’s detached and quietly bewildered. just observing things as they happen, having thoughts filter in and out

title: Stay in Motion [WIP] by:  ignitesthestars, nymja, starforged rating: teen word count: 5184 summary: Short stories set in a universe where the Rogue One crewmembers survive

===== AU - timeskip (after Scarif) ===== title: the sharp edge of survival by: with_the_monsters rating: teen word count: 3950 summary: They're heroes, now, but the not the type of heroes the Republic wants. Not bright and clean and effortlessly Light. Not able to sit still or give up the fight. The fight built each of them, after all. Made them what they are. notes: I really like this iteration of everyone-lives because there are gaps between surviving and living and what those are and how they might be filled is written in a very real and touching way.

title: Clean Shaven by: 19RosesofLifeandDeath98 rating: gen word count: 1263 summary: Cassian liked routines, and Jyn liked Cassian. It wasn’t a hard protocol to follow. notes: post mission hand injury oh no how will Cassian maintain his shaving schedule. so sweet and awkward I love it!

title: in the spaces series [WIP] by: nymja rating: teen, explicit word count: 9701 summary: Jyn, Cassian, and their intersecting moments during the Galactic Civil War. & Jyn, Cassian, and the war not ending after Endor. notes: I made many whale noises whilst reading this fic. another one for the post-Scarif trauma + slow, long burn file.

title: Cryptography [WIP] by: someinstant rating: teen word count: 6985 summary: Compromised, Cassian read, his fingers numbing against the screen. Jyn says to orphan. The words blurred, and he dropped the pad. “To orphan?” Senator Organa asked the general. She didn't pretend not to have read over Cassian's shoulder. “Cut ties,” said Draven. He cleared his throat. "It's what you do when an agent goes rogue--" Cassian shook his head. “No,” he said, mechanically. "It means 'to abandon.'” notes: “And the ending is amazing. The third act is perfect, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Which is why I'm just gonna shift the world over *just a little*, and keep going.” so exciting and plotty!!!!!

title: i don't care if heaven won't take me back by: gingergenower rating: explicit word count: 6628 summary: Cassian's compromised and kidnapped on a routine mission, taken by a crime mob working with the Empire. The Alliance orders Jyn to cut and run because too many lives would be lost failing to save him. As is her nature, she goes rogue. notes: riveting action scenes. I’m a sucker for the ride-and-die Jyn characterization

title: something distracting by: PastyPirate rating: explicit word count: 4679 summary: Cassian never really thought about statutes of limitations on disobedience. Mainly because he’d never disobeyed an order before. But after nine months, and a mission that can only really be called successful (body count and everything), he felt like getting a slap on the wrist for disobeying an order was a bit much. In which; Cassian has no idea how to properly be grounded, he ends up thinking too much about things he'd rather not focus on. notes: in love with Cassian’s running internal monologue and his constant berating of himself

===== AU - not even a little bit EU ===== title: not titled drabble by: plinys rating: gen word count: short summary: jyn x cassian, partners in crime au

title: we will not grow old by: Wildehack rating: mature word count: 3001 summary: In the dream, Jyn’s father is there, just like he was when she was new. He cups her face in his hands, and a rush of yearning fills Jyn’s chest, but she’s not sure what for. He brushes her hair out of her eyes, sits down beside her in this strange, cold room. “Analysis,” he says. notes: Westworld AU

title: not titled by: raspberrylimonade rating: not rated word count: ~ 1000 summary: Where instead of being killed in the blast, Jyn and Cassian are transported to LA in the early 2000s where Cassian becomes a retailer for home appliances (based of this interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRZ1ihipQso) and Jyn becomes a fitness instructor. notes: charming!

===== AU - other (no Rogue One timeline, multiverse, etc) ===== title: The Jedha Moon Jockey [WIP] by: ballantine rating: mature word count: 3963 summary: “Jedha’s not a priority for the Alliance at the moment,” he says, not looking away from the open panel. “Oh, of course,” the girl says. “It’s not like the occupation of this moon has anything to do with its extensive kyberite ore, which, if you didn’t know (but you should), the Empire has started to turn to for energy enrichment. And it’s certainly not like the Alliance’s apparent abandonment of one of the most revered symbols of the Jedi Order will have any impact at all on rebel morale in the Mid Rim — ” Cassian momentarily gives up on opening the cell door in favor of putting his head in hands and groaning. notes: “Cassian picks through the wiring and says, “For someone who obviously hates the Empire with so much passion, you don’t seem too worried about being caught in one of their holding cells.” She shrugs one shoulder. “Saw Gerrera will come for me. He always does.”” EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. "Saw Gerrera did not abandon Jyn" is a tag but so is "Loss of Faith." I am worried.

title: not titled / Sic Itur Ad Astra  by: radiojamming / ClockworkCourier rating: not rated word count: ~ 2600 summary: Jyn Erso, unsurprisingly, turned everything he believed about himself and the galaxy right on its head; what was right, what was wrong, and what to do about it. It was all different because of her, and he couldn’t help but feel something like a sinking sensation in his chest when he realized that. He didn’t accept it, though. Not without a mark. Not without a reason. notes: jyn/cassian soulmate (w matching birthmarks) AU. does the fatalism of the trope very evocatively

title: Propaganda by: pantropia rating: not rated word count: 812 summary: Neither the Rebellion nor the Empire are above using popular media as propaganda. notes: movie within a movie meta fix-it

title: And The Next [WIP] by: ienablu rating: teen word count: 20448 summary: Jyn looks to the disappearing horizon and thinks, The Force is with me, I am one with the Force. The Force is with me, I am one with the Force. The Force is strong with me, I am – Jyn wakes up in her Wobani prison cell, panting and a scream dying in her throat. notes: I love Groundhog Day AUs. this is one of the best I've ever read. the most recent chapter (4) is painful in the perfect way.

title: The RebelCaptain Ultimate Kiss Mod [WIP] by: Coryphefish rating: teen word count: 504 summary: There should have been a kiss on the beach? In the elevator? Why stop there? This is the fix-it fic we really need! ALL the moments in Rogue One where it almost happened? Now it did!

title: not titled drabble by: kylorenvevo rating: not rated word count: ~1000 summary: jyn/cassian alias!au with jyn spying on the empire and cassian as her rebel handler

===== Misc ===== - a really wonderful fanvid - radiojamming: important features of k-2so day - rinsantago: "In retrospect, there was no freaking way that Jyn and Cassian could have been Rey’s parents." - iamthezip: "What does little 6-year-old Cassian “rebellions are built on hope” Andor do for the fucking rebellion?!" - thegrayship: ““You DUMPED me!” vs “They’ll be back for me.”” [Jyn and Rey comparisons] - lionmettled: “Info on Chirrut and Baze from the Visual Dictionary” - notbecauseofvictories: “I have managed to find a single feeling about galen erso, and it mostly concerns him being an amoral figure, wearing very badly-fitting moral skin” - Star Wars: Rogue One places Asian heroes at the core of its revolution - rukbats: “Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that by modern standards we can safely assume that Cassian Andor was most probably a scorpio, sagittarius or a capricorn thank you for coming to my TED talk” - betterbemeta: “3P0 is simultaneously totally useless yet hyper functional because he was not made according to any specs except “the best most toughest things possible to help my mom for a long long time on a hot desert planet” - I made a Cassian Andor mixtape!

I am here and always ready to cry with you about revolutions and Saw Gerrera and Cassian and Jyn. ☭<3☭