#like this is shit i'm Good At. and do regularly
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drop--pop--candy · 4 months ago
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ok this is kind of a weird thing to say but sometimes i feel like there is too much of. me
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backpackingspace · 2 years ago
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thinking about how for like the first two years of obi wans apprenticeship qui gon did not give a fuck what obi wan did (or even really what happened to him) before snapping out of it and realizing he was actually very much responsible for this child and course corrected into being a helicopter parent and how obi wan always read this as mistrust instead of concern and guilt.
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fantastic-nonsense · 1 year ago
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I feel like it probably says something about me that my "comfort" video game is a difficult puzzle platformer that's famous for players repeatedly dying in very stupid ways and only 25-30% of players (depending on the version) ever finish
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 months ago
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among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically
& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.
obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?
anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"
#another random night another Verbal Effusion of [forehead to hand]#winston billions#who needs actual questions about power or the consequences of getting to consider others Lessers & acting accordingly#when we can last minute be like uh wendy is god actually. take it away wendy (wait she just does whole other shit half the season)#okay Now take it away wendy i guess b/c the series is dead set on you being the Moral Center#if mostly b/c gosh everyone either loves owning you as pseudo wife or correctly recognizes & defers to your superiority#the scene i couldn't bear to sit through at the start of s7 way too long sequence of wendy Going To Work to the ''cuz im awesome'' song#i was like. lol. i was like okay that is wendy's mood / perspective then. Wrong. it was billions conveying Fact to the audience. rip#abt as great setup for ''the only other shoe that finally dropped was that of Yeah It's This Completely Surface Level'' as possible (:#prince has exactly the same attitudes & actions as wendy does? uh well you see. it's just bad when he does it#if only more wendys were in charge. if only we go ''well even if it's bad if wendy does it? or axe or whoever? Could Be Worse''#nothing to analyze in the [but at least it's not worse] dead end re: justification of Power Leveraging & minimization of its consequences#tl;dr just the victim blaming embraced everywhere & the idea that everything that Deviates from the Norm Too Ethically Mindedly#is just that veneer slapped on overtop of [haha but truly: the norm] like no but seriously we all know It's Not That Deep(tm)#even for the characters written to exercise this [my Extra Mile Ethics] trait regularly it's expressed as this Polite Addendum#to the [what's Really at play] normal. the And Enbies tacked on; that's that on that & it Is an extra veneer to the norm#prince asking if taylor's changing up their pronouns; no more Meant a red flag than him immediately shitting on winston i'm sure#yet yknow why tf suppose taylor more than anyone else would Change Pronouns. taylor who the series also only ever shows as being#misgendered As A Woman. whose drag / cisguise As A Woman is not treated in the same way a man's would be / is#whose emotive / expressive affect isn't either. billions like [the genders are m/f] to [perhaps also amab/afab] Tacked On#as something politely Extra you do to their face that doesn't actually change (threaten) your idea of what's just Normal & True#like it's normal & true that ugh god don't you hate the autistic people around you? don't you wish you could go sicko mode on them#so that they couldn't be around you anymore & they'd have brought it upon themself & really it was good of you b/c The Group Cohesion#thanks you & b/c you just gave them free ABA? yes yep Surely Unquestionably#problem isn't abuse & concomitant violation in & of itself. it's Bad to be someone that's done to. we will announce Exceptions#rest of you either you brought it upon yourself or you failed to Correct that you're not someone who inherently deserves it#that is: someone who just can & will Stop It if done to them. well so you see winston pushing back is ignored or treated to further#backlash & then he withdraws (expression of his experience / creation of a consequence which tells the other Stop Doing This)#&/or otherwise conveys displeasure / being hurt (same as before. ''uh well push back / express xyz'' ppl did & were steamrolled/ignored)
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heavenpierceher · 2 months ago
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the only feature that i consistently have difficulty with removing permanently in windows is windows defender, which is honestly arguably a good thing. id never outright endorse it but with winaero tweaker+knowing what you're doing win11 is very tolerable
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bredforloyalty · 6 months ago
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i just feel like i have more of an angle on things i mean i am aware of the perspective i have gained because it sticks out to me. now i can say "i like them because they're so different from my dad<3"
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unsettlingcreature · 1 year ago
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Slowly reconfiguring my altar space but I'm gently adding Halloween decorations as September passes and October approaches, I'm personally obsessed with the little ghost lights. Anyway I don't have a dedicated sideblog for this stuff anymore so I'm just slapping it on main :)
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They get their estrogen together <3
#JSBSJASVISSBKDCNRIFBFICBDK OKAY I GOT INTO MSA LIKE YESTERDAY AND FINISHED THIS IN A SINGLE SITTING TODAT#THAT IS LIKE BIZARRE. AND DOESN'T HAPPEN FOR ME#THE BRAINROT IS REAL FOR BOTH OF THESE THINGS SO I'M SHOVING THEM TOGETHER#Also it helps that when I first saw Vivi I was like :0 Holy shit that's June#I was originally gonna draw June in clothing more similar to Vivi's but I was like Ehhh what about casual and then this happened#The shirt is blatantly a lie but she got it back when one of her friends came out to her when she didn't know she was trans#(pick like any hs cast member you want as the person who came out to her they're all trans)#But then didn't feel wanna waste a good shirt so she still wears it. regularly.#Also her skirt is intentionally on backwards#I've never drawn June in any greater form that a notebook doodle vut I will be definitely be doing this again if for no other reason than#how much I enjoyed doing the clothing#vivi yukino#june egbert#mystery skulls#(<- Is that the right tag? Idk.)#homestuck#may i plz have an art tag#Like look at my you need to understand how much I relate them to eachother. Blue gals. Magical super strong dog is a major character.#One has a bat one has a hammer. Glasses. Dead friend(s).#Okay that's all I can think of off the top of my head and I'm sure I'll remember more later but please understand me here#I've literally never interacted with the msa fandom before plspls pleaseeeee tell me if I did any of the tagging wrong if I did ^^'
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wizardnuke · 1 year ago
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this is SO bizarre and idk what to do about it re: guy in my public speaking class
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batking-lich · 1 year ago
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"i'm not like those Other People, i only consume Unproblematic Media™ with Good Representation™ and i don't like Irredeemable Media™"
"i'm not like those Other People, i don't like this Sanitized Media™, i only like Real Art™ with Bad Messy Representation™"
you are literally the same people wearing different hats the only things you disagree about are what counts as bad media and what counts as good representation
#bats makes a post#oh this ''bad'' representation you love was made by an actual queer person? depicting their lived experiences?#and/or you like it because it in some way reflects your own actual lived experience? so you think it's good rep then.#and this other queer media doesn't reflect your lived experiences at all?#and it feels too clean like it was made for straight people and not actual queer people? you might even go as far as to say it's... bad rep#''i don't like Show A because there's not enough good rep'' ''i don't like Show B because there's too much good rep''#You Are Both Grown Adults Arguing About Shows For Children. You Are The Thing You Claim To Hate.#everyone needs to chill the fuck out and get some nuance and recognize this a giant community where everyone has different needs#and that we all have better shit to do than argue over ultimately nothing#and to be clear i'm not different from any of these people either! none of us are! we all like it when things are good#and don't like it when things are bad#and it's completely within human nature to argue over pointless shit so i don't necessarily blame anyone#back in the day you had to get books published and shit to be a philosopher#but now anyone can be a philosopher for free and share their ideas with the world#and that's wonderful! but god is annoying to read sometimes#(and to be absolutely clear i'm not coming specifically for people who love ''bad'' rep#those are just the takes i see more often due to content curation#and therefore the side of the debate that annoys me more because i actually see it regularly#and generally is the side i agree with more often in the broad strokes which Makes It Worse when they're annoying about it)
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bugfeelings · 1 year ago
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Seeking an adhd diagnosis is like "bring someone from your childhood, someone from your adulthood, your 3 most recent report cards, $500, and your firstborn to an appointment you had to call the same practice 5 separate times to be given after following a breadcrumb trail of referring providers. you may or may not receive the diagnosis"
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seancamerons · 1 year ago
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i'm not letting anyone ever make me feel bad about me, my choices, things and people i love/care about, hobbies whatever, ever. respect me, or (kindly), kick bricks🧱 i'm just done with that "letting things happen" or niceties if you're not nice to me or others. you gonna disrespect me, i won't respect you and i just won't talk to you. life is too short to be a mean person. i don't wanna be a pushover. i'm not gonna let people make me feel bad anymore no matter who they are. i cried my last tear over that stuff. not gonna be hostile, or mean but assertive, because it's a new era and i want positivity. i want good things, i like my peace and anyone who threatens me with that i don't want around me. it's just bs. 💩 i don't want any negativity, so if you're gonna be mean or whatever do not interact w/ this.
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rotisseries · 1 year ago
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no bc coming up with ideas is SO hard its not talked abt enough. I find the writing moderately easy but with a lot of my fics it takes me so long to flesh out ideas for the actual story instead of one big idea.. ti's a curse
literally like I actually burned through that zelink fic I wrote cause I just for once actually knew the whole time what was going to happen like putting down a bunch of bullshit and going back to fix the bullshit later and make it not bullshit is actually remarkably easy for me if there's anything I can do it's ramble but coming up with ideas for the specific bullshit??? well brother you can just die
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lonestardust · 2 years ago
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#Can't believe I graduated last week and that I've quit my job. I'M FREE!!!! for a while at least but I AM FREE#there are so many things I wanna do so many things I wanna get back to. fics to read posts to reblog & to reply to. little fanarts to create#also fixing my sleep schedule is on top of this list!! because surprise you can't do life when you need to fucking rest all the time#my body has been in a state of hypervigilance for the past five years because of uni and intense work#and i'm aware that chronic dysregulation takes a lot of energy to sustain..#it takes time for the body to recover and recuperate and get used to the new feeling of normalcy and safety after#running on super high levels of cortisol and adrenaline which it is NOT meant to do chronically#I'm looking forward to rest and to eat well and connect more with nature and spend carefree time under the sun#without feeling like I'm running late or that there is a shift I need not to miss#I'm looking forward to be consumed by art freely without feeling STRESSED because time is limited and I need to be doing other things#i'm excited to rewatch ls (which you do regularly!! ofc) but it's exciting that we have four whole seasons now and there is a SHIT LOAD of#gifs posts and fics i want to read and interact with and comment on!!!!#ironically i'm not really feeling good today. and there's a lot of family drama going on but good days are coming and I'm optimistic#:') hope you all have a good day. love youuuuu#about me
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the-busy-ghost · 2 years ago
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Ah yes, the dream £10 vintage Laura Ashley skirt (made in Great Britain), in good quality corduroy
The dream skirt that requires a fucking PHD in ironing
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breaking news: historically "gifted kid" gets a grade below a b in a class for the first time in her entire life at 19 years old and has a breakdown
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