#like this is hardly the first time this has happened as i said i faint a lot in doctor's offices or dental practices or blood labs | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

junplusone · 1 month ago

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i'll always say it's you ; yoon jeonghan

summary: you always used to think that even the end of the world couldn’t keep you and yoon jeonghan apart; you’d find your way back to each other somehow. ten years later, you start to wonder if that’s such a good thing after all.

contains: childhood best friends to ??? to ???, swearing, drinking (+ underage), talk of joshua and cheol's arm muscles, mention of drugs in a joke like once i think, caffeine addiction, peak delusion, jeonghan cheating in games as always, hella yearning

word count: 12.98k

a/n: this is lowkey a mess and probably kind of inaccurate loll but i hope u enjoy! feedback always appreciated xx

the me of today hopes for the you of tomorrow

“What about you, Y/N? Have you ever been in love?”

Hearing your own name slowly zones you back into the conversation at the table. You pause at the question, a drop of soju splashing out of the glass in your hand.

“What?”

“Come on, it’s just a silly question,” the young intern says, rolling his eyes. “You’re no fun, Y/N. We’re off work right now! It’s fine,” he drawls, swaying a little in his chair.

You can’t really remember his name right now, downing the glass in one go, but his bold innocence bothers you. Maybe his demeanor, full of life and promise, is what gets on your nerves.

Were you like that when you were fresh out of college, too? It’s so unthinkable to you now, at twenty-nine. It feels like ages in the past.

“So? Are you —”

“I hardly think this is an appropriate conversation,” you say quietly, zipping your bag shut. “I think I’m going to head out, anyways. It’s quite late already.”

“But —”

“Chan, just stop asking questions and drink this, okay?” His friends try and calm him down with a glass of water. Amidst the chatter, you decide to slip away, silently pushing in your chair and leaving the bustling restaurant.

Dinners like this always end up making you feel worse, anyways, like an outlier at a table of people with fervent hopes and dreams of their own.

You make it two blocks until your phone begins to buzz in your pocket, and you fumble to answer it, knowing there’s only one person who would call you at nine o’clock on a Friday night.

“Hello?”

“Oh, you answered,” Yeonju says, evidently surprised. “I thought you’d still be at work.”

“I’m on my way home now,” you tell her. “Why, did something happen?”

“Kind of,” you hear rustling on her end of the line. “Jeonghan called.”

“Huh?”

You had stopped abruptly at Yeonju’s words— foolishly in the middle of the road, and you rush to the sidewalk, still reeling. It’s been so long since you’ve even heard his name that it sends your mind into a tailspin when she says it again.

“I thought you knew,” she says, “He said he tried calling you first, but you wouldn’t pick up.”

“I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t have saved,” you remind her. You haven’t had Jeonghan’s number saved on your phone in a long time. There was no need to keep it if you never used it anymore.

“I think you should talk to him.”

“Yeonju,” you shake your head. “Why would I? There’s nothing to talk about.”

“There is, and you know it, too,” she doubles down. “You won’t say it, but I know you agree with me.”

She’s right, as much as you want to pretend otherwise. When has Choi Yeonju ever been wrong about you? Sometimes it scares you how good she is at reading your mind, but as always, she delivers reality checks right when she feels like you need them.

“Maybe,” you admit begrudgingly. “But things are just easier without him.”

“Yeah, well, nothing is ever easy,” she points out, “but take your own time, no rush. And take care of yourself, Y/N.”

“I will,” you say with a faint smile.

“OK, perfect. Call if you need anything else, yeah? I gotta go now.”

“Okay, Yeonju, take care.”

“Bye!”

She hangs up just as you unlock your front door, shutting it behind you and kicking off your shoes. The peace and quiet of your apartment welcomes you, and you sigh in relief as you sink into your couch.

Pulling out your phone again, you scroll through your call log. There are a few unsaved numbers, likely just spam calls, but when you see the same number four times in a row, there’s no doubt about who it might have been. Your finger hovers over the screen; should you? Shouldn’t you?

No, it’s easier to just stay angry. It’s easier to pretend his name means nothing to you anymore.

But even as you toss your phone to the side, Chan’s question still haunts you, like it’s a reminder that maybe you need to retrace your steps and do something different this time.

God, you had finally been able to go a few days without thinking about him, but today just took you right back to square one.

“Have you ever been in love?”

When you close your eyes, all you see is him.

first time feeling my heart race, never thought it'd beat so fast

TEN YEARS AGO

“Yoon Jeonghan, delete that right now or I’m going to kill you.”

Jeonghan shakes his head vehemently, still cackling at the picture of you on his phone. This is nothing new to you; over the years you’ve gotten used to him finding the absolute worst angles of you whenever you fall asleep in class, or on the bus, and it never fails to get you fuming.

In fact, if Jeonghan has one talent, it’s probably pissing you off.

“Not my fault you dozed off like that during lecture! Even Yeonju would have bullied you if she was there,” he teases. “I’ve been collecting bad Y/N photos since we were sixteen and in high school, why would I stop now?”

“You’re evil.”

“Thanks, I know.”

“Dinner’s on you, by the way.”

“What?!”

“Do you want to keep that horrendous picture or not?”

“Okay, fine,” he concedes immediately, slipping his phone into his pocket. “But we’re going back to my dorm first because I left my wallet on my desk.”

"Why would you not have that with you? Dumbass," you scold.

To anyone else, you might sound angry, but somewhere in the unspoken words, you and Jeonghan have already reconciled.

The weather is chilly and perfectly November-esque, and if not for the thick scarf around your neck you’d be shivering by now. Having Jeonghan by your side adds to the warmth spreading throughout your body, a little piece of happiness found in his company.

You’ve never needed to explain yourself to him. Somehow, whatever you’re feeling, whatever’s going on, he just knows, and it’s perfect. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

Not much to your surprise, Jeonghan’s roommate is there when the two of you walk in, blankets piled over him as he hunches over his laptop.

“Hey, Josh,” you greet him. “Everything okay?”

“No,” he frowns, rubbing his eyes, “I may have procrastinated a little too hard on this paper and now it’s due in a couple of hours and I’m totally fucked.”

“This is why I told you to drop that philosophy class at the beginning of the semester,” Jeonghan says, pocketing his wallet. “You don’t even need to take it.”

“Just trying to knock off my humanities electives, but honestly, this one kind of backfired on me,” Joshua admits, defeated. “Where are you guys headed?”

Jeonghan points at you accusingly. “This one tricked me into buying her dinner earlier.”

“I did not!” you gasp. “You walked into that one, stop blaming me for the consequences of your actions! Also, I want ramen, which means we’re going off campus, so you’re driving.”

He narrows his eyes at you as he reaches for his car keys. “You are so evil.”

"Takes one to know one, Hannie."

What throws you off is the way Joshua’s eyes flit between the both of you as you bicker, the way he tells you to have fun in that singsong voice of his as you step back out into the cold, like he knows something you don’t.

You still remember the day you first met him, when Jeonghan left to go grab something after introducing the two of you, and the question that immediately followed.

“Are you guys together or something?”

And of course, Joshua meant no harm — nobody ever does, when they ask something like that. You and Jeonghan have been fielding questions like that since the start of your friendship. Everyone’s wanted to know exactly what it is that you are to each other, and the answer has always come without missing a beat.

Friends, you’ve always said.

Friends in the way that you can’t go anywhere alone in your hometown without being asked where the other one is, the way that your parents always set out an extra plate and ask if he’s joining for dinner as usual.

The right word for it would be ‘inseparable’. Sometimes, though, you wonder if that’s all that it is.

Like now, as you notice the cold has Jeonghan trembling next to you. His teeth are chattering, long lashes framing his eyes that are now narrowed in displeasure.

When you unravel your scarf from around your neck and reach to drape it around his, they go wide in surprise.

“What are you doing?”

“You never wear enough layers, idiot.” You tuck the ends into his jacket and the way he’s staring at you steals the breath out of your lungs.

You can’t run from the fact; your best friend is undeniably attractive. It’s a simple truth, down to his soft but sharp features, the slope of his cheeks, and the hair that frames his face so perfectly. It’s dark out, but Jeonghan’s eyes are lit up like stars. You don’t even realize it until you start to hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

“Thanks,” he says with a faint smile. “What would I do without you?”

“Freeze, probably,” you reply flippantly, but you look away, unable to take the intensity of his gaze on you.

Just think about the way he looks at you, Y/N.

Was Yeonju right? You have no way of knowing, and you don’t want to tip the scales by bringing any of it up now.

“Alright, let’s go,” you say instead, tugging him along to the parking lot. “It’s late, I’m hungry, and you promised.”

“Why do you always seem so excited to drain my bank account?”

“It’s my favorite hobby,” you quip. “Shall we go?”

“We shall, m’lady,” he says as you get to his car, pulling open the door for you with a wink. Your cheeks burn as you get in, his defined features etched into your brain.

Yes, he’s your dearest, oldest friend, but Yoon Jeonghan has a certain way of making your head spin that throws that very title into question.

when half of me is gone, how can i live as one?

PRESENT DAY

It’s been exactly three days since Jeonghan called you, and you haven’t heard from him since then. You don’t know what you were expecting. Another call? A text?

No, it would be quite stupid to hope for such things after everything that’s happened.

It’s a quiet Monday night, and your brain decides to take an involuntary trip down memory lane. Ten years ago today, you’d probably be doing homework frantically, most definitely an assignment you’d put off until the night of. Ten years ago today, Jeonghan would be by your side.

Oh, how some things change over time.

After another hour of mindless TV and doing whatnot on your phone, your conscience finally wins the moral battle against your pride, and you scroll down through your call log again. Taking a deep breath, you decide to call him back before your brain can convince you otherwise.

All the words evaporate out of your mouth when he picks up on the first ring.

“Y/N?”

God, it’s been so long since you’ve heard his voice. Just the sound of your name from him is enough to make you tear up.

“... Jeonghan?”

Silence. After a few seconds your heart sinks, thinking maybe he’s hung up on you and gone radio silent yet again.

Then you hear it, just barely whispered into the phone: “I’ve missed you.”

Those words tug at your heart so badly you press your eyes closed to prevent your tears from welling up. “Jeonghan, don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“I haven’t heard from you in over a year,” you cut him off. “A year, Jeonghan. Do you really think you can just ‘I miss you’ your way back into my life whenever you want?”

“Don’t say that,” he implores. “You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s true. I mean it.”

“I’ve heard the exact same line from you so many times,” you tell him, the rest of your words dying in your throat.

You have many more things to say to him, so many unspoken feelings, but now doesn’t feel like the time. Instead, you swallow your anger like you’ve done every time he finds his way back into your life.

“How… how have you been?”

“I’m okay. I wrote a new song,” he says lightly. “Shows have been pretty alright, things are looking up… just the usual.”

“Oh, I see.”

“What about you?”

“I’m okay, too.” A blatant lie. “Jeonghan�� why’d you call me on Friday?”

“Oh,” he starts, like he’s surprised you even asked. “Um, I’m actually in town for a bit, so… I was just wondering if you wanted to meet and catch up again. Y’know, like old times.”

It’s the flippant edge in his voice that stings more than anything else, as if he doesn’t care that your friendship hasn’t been the same for years. Do you mean that little to him now?

But, like always, you have a hard time saying no to Yoon Jeonghan.

“Okay,” you agree. “Just tell me where, I guess. And when.”

“Okay.”

It’s not for a few seconds that you realize your cheeks are wet. Jeonghan feels so far away now, the distance hurts like a piercing pain and you have to slap a hand over your mouth so he doesn’t hear you sob against your couch, the stoic wall you put up crumbling away with every passing moment.

“Y/N,” his voice is shaky now. “Y/N, please don’t cry.”

Feeling caught and cornered, your brain enters fight or flight mode, and promptly chooses the latter. “I’m not,” you blurt out, and immediately end the call, tossing your phone across the room so you aren’t tempted to call him again.

If time traveling was an option, you’d go back to a decade in the past without a question. For some reason it hurts more that after all this time, Yoon Jeonghan is still the one that knows you the best.

You wake up the next morning horribly late for work, with a blinding headache and a notification from Jeonghan on your phone.

xxx-xxx-xxxx: is tonight @ semicolon cafe ok with you? after you get off work?

xxx-xxx-xxxx: i won’t take up too much of ur time, i promise

xxx-xxx-xxxx: i’m so sorry y/n

you: its ok. that works, see u then

It’s well past nine o’clock when you finally enter the office. You almost make it to your desk unnoticed until your boss glances at you sneaking in.

“You’re very late,” Seungcheol observes, leaning back in his chair. His gaze is always stern, and today it makes you even more anxious than usual.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize. “Things just… everything kind of worked against me today. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“I believe you,” he says, casting another concerned look at you as you nearly drop your laptop going to your desk. “Is everything okay, Y/N? This really isn’t like you.”

“Yeah,” you lie through a tight smile. Damn Yoon Jeonghan and his stupid face for ruining your whole day. “Everything’s fine.”

Looking back, it’s quite impressive how you manage to keep your composure throughout your whole workday. You know you’ve accomplished a feat when even Junhui doesn’t really notice anything’s wrong.

Despite how oblivious he comes across at first, your colleague is easily one of the most perceptive people you’ve ever met, as you’ve learned in the past five years you’ve spent at this company.

“Long day?” Junhui swivels around in his chair as he catches you taking a break from your screen.

“Yeah,” you admit, glancing at the clock. Almost five. “Even longer when we get asked to fix all of the intern’s mistakes. How do you just forget to write a whole method?!”

“God, I hope Lee Chan never gets hired as a backend developer. Love the kid, but I’m not sure how he got through college with his code looking like this.”

“Hard agree.”

“Hey, do you have plans after? Me and the rest of the team are probably gonna get dinner together. None of the interns,” he clarifies with a grin. “We need some peace and quiet. I think Wonwoo’s genuinely at his final straw, he’s been downstairs with them all day.”

As tempting as that sounds — Junhui has a knack for finding the best spots in Seoul — you have something more important on your plate for the day.

“Maybe next time,” you decline. “I have to meet someone after work.”

“Oh?” A sly grin spreads across his face. “Someone special?”

“It’s not a date,” you insist, face heating up.

“I never asked if it was, Y/N, you’re just outing yourself at this point.”

“It’s not!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he teases, turning back around. “Keep me posted!”

You roll your eyes.

The end of the day couldn’t have come any slower. Usually, you’d get so engrossed in whatever you were working on that you’d end up staying late, but today you shock everyone by packing up when the clock hits five, bidding Junhui a good night as you almost run to leave the building.

(“Someone’s in a rush,” he remarks when you turn your computer off. “Don’t be late on a first date, it’s not very polite!”

“Fuck off,” you respond, when Seungcheol is safely out of earshot.)

The walk home almost freezes your fingertips, and you have to shove your hands deep into your pockets to keep them from going numb. You make a note to dress accordingly for the biting cold later.

At least the weather matches your mood today.

The idea of a hot shower turns out to be a little too inviting, though, because when you finally step out, hair wrapped in a towel, it’s 6:28, and you have a text from Jeonghan waiting to be opened.

xxx-xxx-xxxx: i’m here, i snagged a table in the back

“Fuck,” you curse under your breath, pulling on an old sweater and some jeans. You don’t have time to fully dry your hair, so you just run your round brush through it a couple of times, hope for the best, and throw it into a claw clip, praying it stays up.

You’re officially twenty minutes late when you finally get to the cafe — it’s not too far from your apartment, thankfully, but you still had to book it — and you approach Jeonghan slightly panting and out of breath.

(If Junhui was right and this was actually a date, you would be royally screwed.)

“Here, sit,” he pulls out your chair, a little alarmed by your flushed face. “Were you running?”

“Yeah. Sorry I’m late,” you answer, and then you look up at him and the air is knocked out of your lungs as if you weren’t already winded from getting there. He’s even more beautiful than the last time you saw him. “Wow, you…”

“I?”

You’re not even sure what the rest of that sentence was going to be, the words slipping out before you could even think about them. Snap out of it.

“Nothing,” you say quietly.

“How have you been?”

“You already asked me that.”

“I want to know more.” He’s looking at you like he’s trying to memorize your features; it’s hard to ignore.

“I don’t have anything interesting going on,” you deflect. “Tell me about what’s going on with you. You said you wrote a new song?”

Jeonghan’s face lights up when you say it. “I did. I spent around nine months rewriting and perfecting it. It’s kind of like my child, in a way.”

“Yoon Jeonghan, a father. I never thought I’d see the day.”

He laughs, and it feels like a part of your old selves is back. “Want to listen?”

You nod, and he passes you an AirPod and his phone. “Imperfect Love,” you read out loud. “That’s deep.”

“It came from a pretty raw place,” he confesses. “Something that’s kind of been on my mind for a while.”

“Something or someone?”

Jeonghan’s face reflects something akin to panic. “What are you talking about?”

“This seems like a song about unrequited love,” you deadpan. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

“Well, it’s not,” he huffs. “Don’t assume things.”

“This is the kind of update I was waiting for. You didn’t tell me you’d found someone!”

“I didn’t!” he insists, concealing a smile. “Will you just stop asking questions and listen already?”

“Alright, Mr. Unlucky in Love,” you tease, securing the AirPod in your ear and pressing play.

The instrumentals are beautiful, and Jeonghan’s angelic voice fills your ears a few seconds later. You haven’t heard him sing in a long time, and you’d forgotten just how ethereal he sounds when he’s pouring his heart into the mic.

The sunlight that happily illuminates this dark world

Becomes a star when night comes

Come down to me

There are many, many things shining in this world

But among them, you’re the only one that’s precious to me

Jeonghan is watching you nervously, like he’s anxious for what you will say. You make the mistake of catching his eyes, because immediately you falter — they are gorgeous, he is gorgeous, and it feels like you lose time with every second you spend admiring him.

Even if I can’t be the perfect weather for you

Will you still love me like this?

It feels like a silent plea — you wonder what kinds of things have happened to him in the past year that you missed, all the things you don’t know about.

Together we become old and worn out

Even if you come to me, who’s useless

At the end of a shining day

I’m happy that it’s you every day

The song comes to an end, and you hand Jeonghan’s phone back to him. His eyebrows raise, like a question.

“Did you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” you tell him honestly. “I love it.”

A smile breaks out on his face. “That’s good to hear.”

“I’m still convinced you have a secret crush that you’re not telling me about.”

“Oh, not with that again,” he grumbles, waving off your curious questions.

What you don’t tell him is that you’ve missed hearing him sing and watching him perform, that the look in his eyes when he’s doing what he loves most is something you adore. There are a lot of things like that you want to say to him, and as good as the both of you are at acting like nothing’s wrong, the situation feels awfully different this time.

“Hey.” Jeonghan has a glint in his eye, the one he usually has when he’s up to something. “Do you wanna leave and go get tteokbokki and fried dumplings at the night market stands instead?”

Your favorites, from when you were a broke college student and couldn’t afford anything nicer. How did he still remember that?

“Yeah,” you say, already grabbing your things and standing. “Let’s go.”

You had forgotten that it was cold as fuck outside.

You had also forgotten that the food stalls were in the opposite direction of your house, so now you’re stuck walking twice the distance in the freezing weather.

“Are you warm enough?” Jeonghan asks, a bit worried. Stop looking out for me, you want to scream at him. Stop caring. Stop making such a fool out of me.

“I am, but I know you’re not,” you scold instead. “I’ve been telling you for years to dress for the weather.”

“Eh, what’s a little bit of cold?” he jokes, but you catch him shivering violently out of the corner of your eye, and you can’t just watch as he suffers.

“Here.” You pull your scarf off of your neck and hold it out to him. “Wear it.”

“Are you su—”

“Wear it before I take it back.”

You wait until Jeonghan’s listened to you, the warm fabric wrapped around his neck. A part of you thinks you’ll always feel the urge to look after him.

Stop it.

“You still haven’t told me about yourself,” Jeonghan starts hesitantly. “I know I’ve probably missed a lot of things in the past few years.”

“Eight years,” you correct him. “We graduated and then you disappeared.”

“I didn’t disappear, things just got really hectic,” he tries to explain. “Like, all of a sudden everything was on my shoulders, and I had to spend all my time working towards what I wanted. That or it was all just gonna go to waste.”

“Right,” you leave it at that, not wanting to start an argument on the road. This always happens — you’ll run into Jeonghan somehow, you’ll somewhat reconcile, fight, make up, and then it’s radio silence from him again. A year after you graduated college, you stopped looking for news articles on him entirely, actively avoiding any headlines with his name in them. It hurt a little too much to bear. “Well, what do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

You suck in a breath at the quick response.

“Yeonju’s doing well,” you start, even though he probably knows that already. “She has a cat now, actually. She adopted him a couple of months ago.”

“Really? What’s his name?”

“Mandu, because she says he’s round and fat like a dumpling.”

Jeonghan snorts. “That’s like when Josh told us his dog’s name was Bingsu.”

“Oh, I remember that,” you say, faintly reminded of his college roommate. “Um, there’s not much else, honestly. Junhui is still a major pain in my ass, that definitely hasn’t changed.”

“Your work friend, right? I thought you two got along pretty well?”

“Yeah, we do,” you admit. You don’t need to explain any further, because Jeonghan knows that your sarcastic remarks are reserved for those you cherish the most.

“It’s been a really long time since you introduced us,” he muses. “But I still remember him pretty clearly.”

He remembers you, too, you think to yourself, recounting all the times you’ve ranted to Junhui about all the times Jeonghan got on your very last nerve. Just not as fondly.

“Oh! Wonwoo actually joined the same company two years ago. I think I told you this already,” Jeonghan confirms with a nod, “But it’s really nice getting to see him again, I missed when we used to hang out in college.”

“Aw, that must be really nice.”

“And the three of us still work for Seungcheol,” you conclude.

“I remember him, too. The one with the huge ass biceps,” Jeonghan says, a bit miffed. “I don’t think he liked me very much.”

“He doesn’t like randoms coming in during work hours, which is what you did, Han.”

“Oh. Right.”

Despite his short response, you know Jeonghan is smiling to himself right now, and you kick yourself mentally for letting the decades-old nickname slip. The two of you may be on a truce right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven him.

A few minutes later, the lanterns and lights of the night market come into view. A little piece of childhood memory burrows its way into your heart. The vendors and stalls may have changed, but you used to love visiting this street with Jeonghan when you were still students.

“I really feel so old right now,” Jeonghan remarks as he follows you through the narrow walkways. “I feel like the last time I’ve been here was when we were eighteen.”

“It probably was,” you say. “Oh! Tteokbokki!”

You don’t even realize the way you’re holding on to the sleeve of Jeonghan’s sweater as you pull him along with you in excitement. He doesn’t say anything, just chuckles to himself as he walks behind you.

“Two cups, please,” you request the vendor when you finally get to the cart, and reach for your wallet. Jeonghan stops you before you can get to your pocket.

“No way,” he says firmly. “This one’s on me.”

“Jeonghan.”

“That voice isn’t working on me this time.” He hands the vendor a couple of bills with a friendly smile. “Just let me buy dinner tonight.”

You cross your arms. “No.”

“Why not? You had no problem doing it back in college.”

“Don’t bring that up now,” you say sharply, stung by the familiar memory. Jeonghan senses the shift in your attitude and drops the subject immediately.

“Wait here,” he tells you. “I’ll be back in a second.”

What are you supposed to do with yourself? Oh, you’re a mess, you realize, the way your feelings haven’t been in check for the entire evening. You were supposed to be so calm and collected, and now you’re anything but.

“Here you go,” the vendor hands you two steaming cups of the spicy rice cakes. “One for you, one for your friend.”

“Thank you.”

The man nods towards Jeonghan, making his way back through the sea of people. “Never let go of someone who cherishes you that much,” he says offhandedly, stirring the tteok in the pot.

You just blink, confused. “What?”

Before the vendor can answer, Jeonghan’s already caught up to you again. “There was nobody in line for fried dumplings,” he tells you excitedly. “Here, have some.”

“Thanks,” you say as you exchange with him for the tteokbokki, ignoring the awkward encounter you’ve just had. “We should probably get out of the way and find somewhere to sit down.”

“Yeah, we should.”

There are a few benches at the corner of the street, and you pick the empty one under one of the streetlamps, a hazy yellow glow cast over it. Sitting down, you bite into the first dumpling, the flavor flooding into your mouth.

“Jeonghan.”

“Yes?”

“Is this shrimp?”

“Yes?” He looks adorably confused in the dim light. “You prefer seafood over pork, right?”

Your heart feels like it’s beating at double the pace. “I do,” you reassure him. “It’s really good. Thank you.”

“Try the tteokbokki, too, it’s just the right level of spicy.”

“I will.”

Just being there and enjoying the food in silence reminds you of how easy it is to just be around Jeonghan. There’s no pressure to break the quiet; it’s comforting and peaceful.

You watch him savor the tteokbokki sauce and smile to yourself when he winces slightly. He’s always had less of a spice tolerance than you.

“Jeonghan?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to vanish on me again when you leave Seoul?”

The question stops him in his tracks. He doesn’t seem to have the words to answer, and the lack of a response makes your heart sink.

“Why are you thinking about that right now?” he says instead, chiding you gently. “Did you finish eating?”

The way you’re looking at him now, your eyes are imploring him. Please don’t make me empty promises again.

“It’s rude to answer a question with another question.”

Jeonghan rakes a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “I’ve never vanished, Y/N, it’s just hard for me to leave my work that often,” he insists, “and besides, you’ve got Junhui and Yeonju and Wonwoo to entertain you in the meantime —”

“None of them are you!” Several people passing by glance over at you, but you can’t help that your voice is rising when you feel the anger bubbling up. “You’re my best friend, Jeonghan, do you have any idea how hard it’s been doing life without you?”

“Y/N, we’re past our youth,” he tries reasoning with you. “We don’t have to be attached at the hip all the time.”

Every word he says is like a knife to your chest. “You shouldn’t have asked to meet up today, then.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Jeonghan shuts his eyes, trying to think of the right words. “I just can’t be there for you all the time in the way that you want anymore. You’re stable, you have a solid job, but my livelihood depends on my music and whether people like me or not. That’s the harsh truth of it. And I’m not getting any younger, either.”

“I’m not asking you to be there for me all the time,” you snap. “All I ever wanted was the occasional message. A few updates. Whether you’re doing okay, how your life is going, things like that. Don’t give me bullshit excuses. I know you have thirty seconds to text me back letting me know that you’re alive.”

And stop playing with my heart, you want to add. Whether you’re aware of it or not.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan swears under his breath. “Y/N, let’s calm down and talk about this inside —”

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down, Yoon Jeonghan.” Your fists are clenched right now. Jeonghan knows this about you; you don’t get angry quite often, but when you do, you are a force to be reckoned with. “It’s always a goddamn cycle with you. You show up, make all these promises, and then abandon me again. What am I supposed to do with that?”

You’re on the verge of tears, but you can’t cry in front of him. Anywhere but here.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he pleads with you. “I don’t know what more to say other than I’ve been trying my best, I really have been.”

You’re not having any of it. “Yeah, right,” you scoff, averting your eyes so you have time to blink the tears away.

“I mean it. I want to be there for you, but…” he trails off, voice shaky. “It’s just been so difficult.”

“Save it, Jeonghan.” You don’t think you can be here for a minute longer without totally breaking down. “I should really get going now.”

“Y/N, wait —”

“If you took the subway, there’s a station down that street if you keep walking for a few minutes.”

“Wait,” Jeonghan insists, standing. “Let me at least walk you home.”

“No need,” you retort, turning around and setting off towards your apartment. It’s even colder now that it’s completely dark out, and you start to regret your choice of coat as your teeth chatter quietly. All you can do is thug it out for the remaining three blocks to your apartment building.

The wind stings your eyes and you tear up anyway, despite your attempts to keep it down for now. Why did you think today was going to go any better than every other time this has happened?

Stupid. Your fault for thinking anything would have changed in eight years.

It’s not until you approach the entrance to your building that you hear the quiet shuffling of footsteps. You whirl around, ready to fight, but you stop short when you see Jeonghan standing several feet behind you.

“Just to make sure you got back okay,” he says quietly, walking over to you. You accept gingerly when he places your scarf back in your hands. “It’s late.”

You don’t even know how to feel; you’re too high-strung with too many lines of thought in your brain at the same time. “Thank you.”

“One more thing.” Jeonghan hands you a small plastic bag. You peer inside.

“What is this?”

“Tiramisu,” he says, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly.

“Oh,” you’re confused. “Why?”

It should make you even more furious that he has the audacity to give you a soft smile, but for some reason it doesn’t.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.”

The realization hits you belatedly — how did you manage to forget? — that you were so swamped with work commitments, it had totally slipped your mind today. (So that was why your phone had been constantly buzzing with notifications from Yeonju before you’d put it on silent.)

Jeonghan’s gesture, though, comes as a complete surprise, and it starts to dissipate the irritation from earlier.

“You remembered.”

“Of course,” he says simply, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I never forgot.”

just friends, that's not enough for me

EIGHT YEARS AGO

Normally, you are not someone who is criminally inclined.

However, it’s currently five in the morning on a day where you don’t have class until noon, so whoever is calling you at this time is most definitely going to end up six feet under.

You answer without checking who it is first, eyes still closed. “Hello?”

“Happy birthday!”

“Huh?” You lift your head just to be sure you heard correctly. “Yoon Jeonghan, it’s five a.m!”

“I know!”

“Why are you awake?”

“To tell you happy birthday?”

“Thank you, but cut the crap,” you tell him.

“I pulled an all-nighter to finish a project,” he admits. “Worth it, though. I’m the first person who told you, right?”

“You keep forgetting I live with Yeonju,” you point out, glancing over at your sleeping roommate.

“Damn it, Choi Yeonju!”

You grimace at his loud exclamation. “Jeonghan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do me a favor and let me go back to sleep.”

“Okay, but I’m waking you up at ten so you don’t skip your linear algebra class.”

“That class is at noon!”

“Yeah, and you take centuries to get ready, dumbass.”

When ten o’clock does roll around, you’re wide awake already. Yeonju is still fast asleep, so you try to get ready for class as quietly as possible.

jeonghan: i’m outside ur building

jeonghan: hurry up i’m hungry

you: ??? when u said u were gonna wake me up i thought u meant u would call

jeonghan: uhh surprise?

“Are you serious,” you mutter under your breath, haphazardly throwing an outfit on and rushing downstairs. Quickly, you press your key card against the reader and push the door open to the sight of Jeonghan leaning against the side wall.

“How long were you waiting?”

“Long enough. God, you really take forever, but I guess you get a pass because it’s your birthday,” he says begrudgingly, gesturing for you to walk with him.

The weather is quite bleak, but the slight smile on Jeonghan’s face is enough to chase the dreary atmosphere away, like your very own sun.

“Did you sleep at all?” you question, noticing the dark circles under his eyes.

“I tried, but by the time I finished the project it was already seven and Joshua was up, so I just didn’t bother. That guy’s a freak, I’m telling you. I don’t know anybody else who wakes up that early just to go to the gym.”

“Well, you don’t go at all. Maybe that’s why he has those nice muscles and you don’t.”

Jeonghan’s mouth drops open in surprise. “Are you kidding? Is this why you keep coming over? To ogle Joshua Hong’s arms?”

“Yeah, cause Joshua Hong is my best friend,” you deadpan. “Is it such a crime to just appreciate a nice set of muscles?”

“Okay, okay, stop talking about Josh when you’re with me and get in the car,” he urges, fishing out his keys. “Or we’ll be late and you won’t make it to that class.”

“I don’t even go half the time,” you point out. “And you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

“What I can do is promise you will be happy and fed by approximately half past eleven.” Jeonghan starts the car, adjusting his mirrors. “Is that good enough for you?”

“Deal.”

It strikes you then, beneath the dim sunshine, how good he looks when he’s driving. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on the road, humming along to the song playing through Bluetooth. For all the jokes you throw at him for never being seen at the gym, his arms are quite toned, subtly flexed as he makes a turn with one hand on the wheel.

God, you are so done for.

A few minutes later, Jeonghan pulls into a relatively empty lot. The building is quite unassuming, but you recognize this cafe as the one you frequent during exam season for your coffee fix.

“I love this place!” you exclaim, beaming at him. “How did you know?”

“‘Cause you never shut up about it,” he quips back, grinning.. “Stay here, I’ll just be a minute.”

You hum quietly to yourself as you wait for him to come back, content where you are. There couldn’t have been a better start to your day, aside from Jeonghan’s early morning call, and you think you’d be happy to spend the day just like this, peacefully with him and your closest friends.

In truth, you aren’t really sure how to navigate things with Jeonghan at the moment. Your relationship has always been labeled as strictly platonic, but lately there have been things that make you want to think otherwise. A few stolen glances, the way he looks out for you a little extra… you think you’re going insane.

That, and the way your heart has been reacting when you make eye contact with him lately has been a bit unsettling.

(“Don’t be so delusional,” Yeonju had told you a week ago. “You have a lot to lose here if anything happens. Plus, it’s Yoon Jeonghan, everyone thinks he’s flirting with them.”

“Yeah,” you’d replied flatly. “You’re right.”)

But maybe you’re allowed to be a little selfish. Maybe those sunlit smiles and most vulnerable moments are memories reserved just for you.

The car door opens again, and Jeonghan pokes his head in, handing you a plastic bag as he gets in.

“Sustenance,” is all he says. “Eat before you go to class or I’ll have to deal with your hangry whining after.”

His words sound annoyed, but his tone is soft with you, like it usually is. You flash him a grateful smile before pulling the boxes out.

“What’s this?”

“Avocado toast, but yours has egg on it.” He wrinkles his nose with displeasure at the combination. “Plus a little sweet treat for your caffeine addiction.”

“This is beautiful,” you hold up the tiramisu box. “The caffeine is speaking to me, Hannie. We are one and the same.”

“One would think you’re on drugs.”

“One would think living with a chemistry major would teach you that caffeine is a drug,” you tease, sinking your teeth into the golden toast. You hadn’t realized just how hungry you were until now — maybe you shouldn’t have skipped dinner last night. “Wow, this is good.”

“It is,” Jeonghan agrees, “but I’ll stick with no eggs for now.”

“You’re just ignorant and have bad taste.”

“Again, free pass only because it’s your birthday.” Jeonghan waits for you to swallow, then asks, “So, does twenty-one feel any different?”

“Nope,” you say decidedly. “Why would it? The only thing that’s changed is that drinking is legal now.”

“Oh, and you can gamble.”

“Right, but I don’t have enough savings to do that.”

Jeonghan laughs to himself at a stray memory. “Remember when I turned twenty-one? I’ve never had a night more disastrous than that one.”

“I do remember! Anyone would assume you were a raging alcoholic,” you snicker. “Even Soonyoung felt the need to sober up and help me get you back to your place. Do you know how impossible that is for him?”

Jeonghan looks like he’s questioning his whole life. “Yeah, that is pretty bad,” he admits. “Good thing it hasn’t happened since and I’m a responsible alcohol enjoyer now.”

“You drank a whole bottle of soju before your exam last week because you ‘needed to pregame’ or you’d fail it.”

“... Right.”

The two of you eat in silence, careful not to drop crumbs in his car, enjoying the midday quiet with each other’s company and nothing else. It’s moments like these with him that you cherish the most.

Yeonju’s Don’t be so delusional echoes in your head, like a silent rebuke.

“Hey, we should start heading back,” Jeonghan says, glancing at the time. “Let this be the day that Y/N graces the lecture hall with her presence.”

You groan, not wanting to spend another hour and a half trying not to doze off listening to who is possibly the most boring professor at your entire university. Jeonghan pats your back empathetically.

“It’s okay,” he consoles you, “Just think about how you’ll feel later when it’s all over and done with.”

“I’ll feel like it was a huge waste of time and I could have just asked Wonwoo to catch me up,” you grumble.

Jeonghan’s smile falters a little bit at the mention of your classmate, one of Soonyoung’s friends and therefore a part of the friend group. You still can’t figure out why Jeonghan isn’t too fond of him, but you just assume they haven’t had the opportunity to connect as much and brush it off.

“He got me through data structures last semester,” you offer, trying to defend your point. “Or I’d probably have failed.”

“Right, I remember,” Jeonghan says absentmindedly. You don’t say anything more until you’re back on campus again, picking up on his sensitive mood. When you start making your way to your lecture hall, he follows you, and you let him.

“I’ll walk you to class, I have to print something out at the student center, anyways,” he explains, bag on one shoulder. “Also, you left this in the car. Eat it after class, or whenever.”

You take the plastic bag he hands you, the faint scent of coffee filling your nose. “Thanks.”

Jeonghan fills your ears with silly stories about his friends over the short walk and you listen carefully, always happy to hear about the boys. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them anyways; you’ve been swamped with work, and time that all of you have free together is quite rare.

“I should go in now,” you tell him when you reach the hall. You wish you didn’t have to be here, but you might as well, and Jeonghan can easily read the annoyance written on your face. He pats your shoulder gently.

“It’s okay,” he consoles you. “Come over later so we can all eat cake and listen to you rant about your god-awful professor.”

“Okay.”

“And so you can get an eyeful of Joshua’s arms, you freaking pervert.”

You gasp. “Am not!” you screech, punching his arm.

“Ow!”

“Take it back!”

“Not afraid to speak my truth,” Jeonghan says instead, feigning injury. “This is literally abuse.”

You roll your eyes. “Get out.”

“Go in.”

“Fine,” you huff, pulling open the double doors, but you look back over your shoulder before you let them close behind you. “See you later?”

Jeonghan nods, a twinkle in his eye.

(You won’t know it now, but this is the look on his face that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.)

“See you later.”

Choi Yeonju is, you discover, the lightweight of all lightweights.

That title had belonged to Soonyoung up until now, but tonight even he’s watching her in disbelief from where he’s perched on Joshua and Jeonghan’s couch.

“I only gave her a shot,” he promises you, eyes big and pleading. “I swear on my life.”

“I know,” you sigh, grabbing her sleeve and pulling her away from the wall she’s about to faceplant into. “It’s okay, I’ve got an eye on her.”

“Sorry,” Soonyoung offers sheepishly. “I know you were planning on getting wasted tonight.”

You were not, in fact, planning on that at all. “Who told you that?”

“Jeonghan?”

“That evil bastard.”

The evil bastard in question is currently deeply immersed in a card game with a couple of others at the small kitchen table. The subtle flush on his face tells you he’s a couple of drinks in, and if you squint enough, you can see the silhouette of cards hidden in the sleeve of his jacket. Typical.

“Y/N!” Yeonju taps your shoulder urgently. “I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

She grins. “I wanna go to the bathroom.”

“Alright, come on. You gotta stand up,” you inform her gently when she doesn’t budge from her spot on the sofa.

“Comfy,” is all she says, mumbling into the furniture.

“Do you still need to go to the bathroom?”

“No.”

Soonyoung just looks at you in total confusion and shrugs.

“Nothing to do about it until she asks again,” he says before sinking into the couch beside her. He still looks relatively sober — sober enough to handle the situation if Yeonju decides to walk into a wall again — so you tell him you’ll be right back and decide to check in on the game going on.

You walk in on a crime scene.

“You!” Seungkwan throws an accusing finger at Jeonghan, who you can tell is playing innocent through his surprised expression. “You rigged the game!”

“I didn’t do anything! I won fair and square!”

“Count the cards,” Seungkwan tells Wonwoo vengefully. “There won’t be fifty-two, I’m telling you!”

Jeonghan stands suddenly, laying his hand on the table. Everyone else is too busy yelling amongst themselves, and Wonwoo seems to be content with watching them argue, but you catch the way Jeonghan slips the cards in his sleeve into the pile unassumingly.

“Excuse me, boys,” he says smugly, “but I’m going to go on a little victory walk. Don’t mind me, enjoy!”

Seungkwan grumbles, but lets him go in favor of helping Seokmin back into the chair he’s just fallen off of. In the meantime, Jeonghan sidles up to you, faintly smelling of tequila.

“You seem very sober,” he observes.

“I am,” you laugh. “Not entirely, but sober enough to notice the cards you stashed during the game.”

Jeonghan’s face morphs into one of surprise, then mirth. “Shh,” he winks, placing a finger on your lips. That alone short-circuits your brain, so you nearly miss his next words. “It can be our little secret.”

“Oh, you are tipsy tipsy,” you murmur, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know if you’re up for that victory walk you were talking about.”

“I am! I’m so up for it,” he announces, tucking his arm in yours. “Let’s go take a walk outside.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“What’s four plus four?”

He rolls his eyes. “Ninety-two,” he says sarcastically. “Please, I’m not a lightweight like the rest of our friends.”

You cast a glance at the couch; Soonyoung has been roped into listening into whatever story Yeonju’s telling him very animatedly, sitting attentively with his back unnaturally straight. He looks a little scared of her energetic narration, which is a first for someone like him.

They should be fine, right? You don’t plan on being gone for long — usually you wouldn’t think twice about leaving Soonyoung and Yeonju together, but in their current state you’re not sure how chaotic they’ll get.

“They’ll be fine.” Jeonghan mirrors your thoughts as if he’s read your mind. His voice feels a little too close, like his lips are right by your ear. Too close, too close — you’re faintly aware of your breathing accelerating, heart running on sheer adrenaline.

By the time you snap out of it, he’s already at the door, turning to find you when he realizes you’re not next to him. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah,” is all you can manage before you grab your coat off the hook and follow him out the door. A part of you wishes Yeonju was sober so she could slap the delusion out of you.

Jeonghan opts for the stairs — “We’re only on the second floor!” — and is waiting patiently at the main door for you. The smile he greets you with is blinding, and his eyes crinkle a little more when you return it.

“Did you bring your keys?”

“Right here.” Jeonghan pats his pocket reassuringly and pulls the door open. “After you, m’lady.”

“Thank you, kind sir,” you laugh, reveling in the moment.

It’s windy outside, and you glance over at Jeonghan, satisfied to see that he’s dressed warmly for once. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and for a man his size, his thick sweater is draped over his body in a way that makes him look a little smaller. It’s adorable, and it just makes you want to reach over and squish his cheeks.

“You’re awfully quiet for a man who just won a game against Boo Seungkwan,” you tease gently. Jeonghan chuckles, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

“Nothing new,” he says. “Seungkwan just has bad strategy and won’t admit it.”

“Or you just enjoy cheating a little too much.”

He gives you a knowing smile. “Touché.”

You’re not exactly sure where you’re going; you don’t think Jeonghan does, either, but the two of you fall in step together perfectly on the sidewalk. It’s not too late yet, maybe nine or ten, and the streets are relatively crowded, as expected for a college city.

“Do you think we’ll be really different when we’re thirty?”

You look at Jeonghan, a bit surprised at the question. “What do you mean?”

“Like, we’re twenty-one now,” he explains, “Remember when we were sixteen? We had so many ideas about what we were gonna be, and we’re already there. Five years passed so quickly.”

You nod, reminiscent of your childhood days. “We’re gonna hit thirty before we know it.”

“Do you think I’ll be bald by thirty?”

“If you are, I’ll take lots of pictures of you and your shiny head,” you joke. “For memories.”

“Noo, not my hair,” Jeonghan laments theatrically. “My gorgeous, gorgeous hair.”

You can’t even counter that, because it’s true: Jeonghan must have won the gene pool because his hair has always been soft and silky. It’s longer now than it used to be, curling a little bit just under his ears and brushing the back of his neck.

“Soonyoung’s been campaigning for you to go platinum blond,” you inform him. “He keeps saying if you do it, he’ll dye his whole head bright yellow.”

“Highlighter Soonyoung is really not something I want to see.”

The more the wind picks up, the tighter Jeonghan has his arm looped around yours. His lips are pursed, like he’s preoccupied with something else.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Are we still gonna be friends when we’re thirty years old?”

The subtle, vulnerable tone in his voice surprises you a little bit. Drunk words are sober thoughts, you suppose.

You try to cheer him up, saying, “Why, did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”

“No,” he shakes his head firmly. “Everything is so much easier with you.”

Don’t be delusional, don’t be delusional, is the mantra in your head as you attempt to ignore your rapid heartbeat. The truth is that you agree — the way Jeonghan just gets you makes things so uncomplicated and free.

It’s been this way since middle school, when twelve-year-old you found home in the boy who always helped you sneak snacks from your desk during class when the teacher wasn’t watching.

Jeonghan has always been the first person you think of in a sticky situation; he’s always been reliable, above all, because he knows you would do the same for him without even needing to think about it. He’s been by your side for so long, you can’t even picture what a life without him would look like now.

Your next words would never see the light of day had Jeonghan been sober, but you suppose you can get away with erring on the side of honesty.

“Me too,” you tell him quietly, holding onto him just a little bit tighter. “I like life a little better when it’s with you.”

because i love you, because saying i love you isn't enough

PRESENT DAY

The office is quiet when it’s late at night; there aren’t many people who enjoy staying past their stated hours, but you figure it can’t hurt to finish some additional tasks when you don’t really have much to go home to. You can’t remember the last time you had a day to yourself without worrying about deadlines; the lines of code haunt you in your sleep and fill every waking hour. Every night spent working overtime is a testament to your determination, though it crumbles it a little each time.

Today, though, you’re joined by Junhui and Wonwoo, the three of you working under the dim light. The rest of your team packed up and left hours ago, so it’s just you on this floor of the building.

“I feel like my eyes are melting in their sockets,” Junhui complains, stretching for the first time in what you think is a solid eight hours. “I don’t know how Wonwoo does it.”

“He’s a machine,” you joke. He’s got headphones on, most probably noise canceling, so you know he can’t hear you two. (Or he’s choosing not to.) “I just don’t want to go home with this stuff unfinished because I know I won’t stop thinking about it all night.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve pulled an all-nighter in the office.”

“Unfortunately.”

Junhui frowns. “You need to take time for yourself,” he expresses. You let him lecture you, even though he’s younger. “Do stuff that you enjoy that doesn’t involve writing code. You know, enrich your personal life.”

“Maybe,” you sigh, putting your head in your hands. “There’s barely any time as of now.”

“Speaking of personal lives, I still can’t believe you won’t tell me about your date,” he sulks. “You’ve always come back with stories about your dates.”

“There haven’t even been that many,” you say at the same time Wonwoo turns around with his headphones off of one ear, asking, “Date? Really?”

You give the man a look. “You didn’t hear us say your name, but that was what caught your attention?”

“Well, Jun’s always talking, but the last time you went on a date was two years ago, so this is news to me.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Junhui reasons. “Everyone has bad dates. It’s a universal experience.”

“Okay, first of all, it was not a date,” you clarify. “I just met up with a friend from college.”

This piques Wonwoo’s interest. “Wait, really? Who?”

“Right, I keep forgetting you guys went to college together,” Junhui mutters under his breath.

“Did you see Yeonju again?”

“It was nobody,” you lie through your teeth, kicking yourself internally for your choice of words. As much as both men know about your ongoing tug-of-war situation with Jeonghan, you don’t really want to bring it up in conversation, and definitely not now of all times. “It went fine, just some catching up.”

“So it wasn’t a date?”

“You really need to stop believing everything Junhui tells you without fact checking it first.”

“Damn,” he says. “And we thought you were finally getting some action.”

“Wonwoo!”

The conversation is interrupted by the low rumble of your stomach in the few seconds of silence that pass afterwards. Both men turn to look at you expectantly.

“I haven’t eaten all day,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “I’m starving.”

“I’ll order takeout,” Wonwoo volunteers, already reaching for his phone. “Is kimchi fried rice okay with you guys?”

“Fine by me.”

“With pork?” Junhui asks hopefully.

“Done.”

The three of you promptly get back to work, aiming to maximize the amount of work you get done before the food arrives and you inevitably break focus. By the time the delivery notification goes off on Wonwoo’s phone, you’ve knocked off about three quarters of your to-do list for the day.

Good enough, you reassure yourself, pulling the sticky note off of your desk and flicking it into the trash can.

Junhui eats in a record time of ten minutes — you swear you’ve never seen him scarf down food this fast before — and starts packing up at his desk, dropping off a couple of notes on Seungcheol’s desk for tomorrow morning’s meeting.

“My girlfriend is going to be so upset if I’m not home soon,” he says ruefully, slinging his bag over one shoulder. “Take care, guys! And thanks for dinner, Wonwoo, I owe you one.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

You and Wonwoo finish not too long after, and you take your time cleaning up the place, making sure everything is thrown away and in its place.

“Are you ready to lock up and go?”

“Yeah, let’s head out.”

It’s not until you’re in the elevator, heading to the parking garage, that Wonwoo speaks up again. A little hesitantly at first, but the concern in his tone is still evident.

“Hey, has everything been good with you lately?”

“Hm?” You look at him curiously, wondering what it was that made him ask. “Yeah, why?”

He shrugs, looking down at you through thick-rimmed glasses. “Just haven’t checked in with you in a bit. Seungcheol’s needed me all over the place lately, so it’s been a while since I caught up with you guys.”

“Right, you’ve been in back to back meetings with the design team,” you muse. “Seolhwa was talking about how chaotic it’s been in the restroom earlier.”

“Yeah, it’s been pretty tough.”

The elevator opens with a ding! and you follow him out, fishing for your keys that are probably somewhere in one of your pockets.

“I parked a little far,” you tell him, “so I’ll get going now. But I’ll see you at tomorrow’s meeting, right?”

Wonwoo just looks at you gently, like he’s seeing right through you.

“Jeonghan’s the one you met up with, isn’t he?”

You freeze. “What?”

“I had a feeling, but it was a little more obvious when you started getting defensive,” he chuckles. “Plus, I think you forget I’ve known you for nearly a decade now.”

You allow yourself to breathe, relaxing the taut muscles in your neck. “I didn’t want to make it awkward,” you admit. “I know you said you guys still keep in touch sometimes. I don’t want to make it weird.”

Wonwoo raises his eyebrows. “Just for birthdays and things like that. We weren’t really that close in college, either.”

Not really knowing what to say, you stay silent, eyes glued to the ground. He seems to sense this and drops the matter, reaching over to pat your shoulder.

“I won’t pry,” he says lightly, “But if you ever want to talk about it, just know you can always call up an old friend.”

You smile. “Thanks, Wonwoo.”

“Take care, Y/N. Get home safe.”

The drive home is numbing. The playlist you have on dulls into background noise as you focus on the road, fighting the urge to yawn. It’s nearly eleven o’clock at night, and all you want is to be back in your bed.

At the back of your mind, all you can think about is the text you woke up to this morning.

yoon jeonghan: hey, i just wanted to tell you tomorrow is my last day in seoul

yoon jeonghan: i don’t know if you want to see me or not, but i’ll be at semicolon cafe working for most of the day. pls drop by if you have some free time. i really miss you.

So typical of him, to leave it up to you to go find him. And yet, you would — if it came down to it, you would go to the ends of the earth if he asked you to.

Yeonju would be furious if you told her you were even considering it, you scold yourself. After all, she’d only told you to speak to him once for your own peace of mind. Last week should have given you all the closure you needed.

Still, your conscience is swayed at the idea of being able to see him again.

You shake the thoughts out of your head, as if the subtle action could erase the pain and longing you’ve felt for the past eight years.

The traffic light turns green. You step on the gas and don’t look back.

even if i can't be the perfect weather for you, will you still love me like this?

SIX YEARS AGO

Jeonghan has been in the studio for hours.

Nothing seems to sound right, and the frustration makes him want to pull his hair out. He can’t even remember the last time he got out of the chair, but he doesn’t want to lose even a little bit of whatever workflow he’s managed to maintain while he’s been in here.

Occasionally, when the weather is just a little dull and time seems to tick by too slowly, he wonders if he made the right choice. Maybe he should have stuck with his career, actually put his degree to use, instead of setting it aside in the name of passion.

He’s vocalized these thoughts to his manager many times, and Jihoon is awfully good at raising his spirits, but the self doubt seeping into his soul is very hard to ignore.

Reluctantly, he presses the play button again, whatever he’s conjured up in the last couple of hours playing in his headphones again. It doesn’t sound any better this time.

Yes, he could swallow his pride and ask Jihoon for help, but after a year and a half of unsuccessful ventures in the music industry, he wants to be able to do something on his own.

Prove himself; to Jihoon, the world, and you.

Jeonghan will never forget your only words to him when he’d first revealed his plan to switch career paths, just a month or two before graduation.

(“I always believe in you,” you’d said, following it up with a comforting hug.

“Always?”

“Always.”)

And when you said that with such conviction, placing all of that trust and belief in his hands, he knew there was no way he could turn back on what he’d set his sights on. In truth, on days where things just seem so bleak, you are his strength, and he wishes he could tell you that.

But when your name comes through on his phone, he falters.

What is he supposed to say? All he can give is excuses, that nothing’s really worked, nothing has panned out in his favor yet. As it is, the two of you haven’t spoken that much since graduating, both of you occupied with your own goals and careers, and at times like these he feels your absence a little extra.

Is this what it means to grow up and grow apart?

For now, he ignores the buzzing, telling himself he’ll come back when he’s snagged his first real achievement. You’ll be proud of him, and he’ll finally make something of himself.

Jihoon walks into the room, closing the door quietly, right when he’s about to listen to the track for maybe the hundredth time.

“Oh, hey.” Jeonghan can hear the exhaustion in his own voice. “What’s up?”

“Wondering when the last time you slept was.” Jihoon sinks into the chair beside him, trying to lighten the mood. “You look like a zombie.”

“Yeah, I feel like one.”

“You need to spend less time in here,” Jihoon advises gently. “Or you’re going to lose your mind. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

“I just can’t figure out what it is I’m missing,” Jeonghan sighs, evidently frustrated. “It’s like, almost there, but not really. It’s been killing me for days.”

“You know, these things do take time.”

“Or maybe I’m just not cut out for this and I should just go work for a news channel instead.”

Jihoon watches him carefully, picking up on his slumped shoulders and tired eyes. “And then you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you held on just a little bit longer. Do you really want that?”

Jeonghan doesn’t really know what else to say. He’s been hearing the same things from everyone around him — his parents, his sister; everyone talks of a future where he’s already succeeded, but that isn’t set in stone. Nothing is promised, he knows.

“I need a miracle,” he mumbles instead.

“You need to eat,” Jihoon corrects. “I just placed an order for dinner, and I know you like sundubu-jjigae, so you have no excuse to bail on me this time.”

Jeonghan considers this for a moment, then gives in. “Fine,” he says, “but I can’t stay too long.”

“Good.” Jihoon rises, and then places a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been working really hard.”

“Thank you.”

He’s alone again, when the door closes behind the shorter man. It’s something he’s had to get used to; he’s learned to rely on himself over the past year or so, but when the reality of loneliness sinks in, it breaks his heart just a little.

Even more so knowing that it’s his fault that he’s pushed everyone away, including you.

Your name is still burned into Jeonghan’s brain, and his fingers itch to respond, but he ignores the urge. His phone is left forgotten as he slips his headphones on again, tinkering with the unfinished track.

And the thought of you dissolves into the music.

we used to be best friends, i remember you said you can be yourself when i'm around

PRESENT DAY

Today is the day that Choi Seungcheol learns that you are full of surprises.

In all your five years of working for him, he’s never once had you call in sick for work or ask for a day off. You’ve always been hard-working, maybe too much at times, but he sounds like he definitely didn’t anticipate this.

“Oh,” is all he says when you request the morning off. “Yeah, sure. Are you feeling alright?”

“Not really, but I will be before the client meeting at three, so I’ll be present for that.”

“Oh, all right. We’ll see you then.”

“See you.”

It weighs on your conscience that the first time you request time off also happens to be the first time you blatantly lie to your boss, but you’ve already deliberated this enough with Yeonju over call last night.

(“I’ve been such an honest worker,” you said dramatically, “and now I’m running all that to the ground.”

“Don’t be so theatrical. Choi Seungcheol can afford to give you half a day of paid leave.”)

Now that you’ve settled that, you grab your heavy winter coat, setting out into the morning cold. Damn Yoon Jeonghan for making you move your whole day around for him. You had predicted correctly that Yeonju would berate you for it — you sat through a lecture over the phone last night — but that hadn’t deterred your resolve to see him again.

Who knows? His behavior is so erratic that even you, who knew him like the back of your hand at one point, can’t predict him anymore. Today could very well be the last time you see him for another few years until he decides he has the time for you again.

Whatever, you huff to yourself as you walk briskly, knowing that as upset as you get, the soft spot you harbor for him will never go away.

You had worried that it would be a little too early, since it’s only eight in the morning, but you have no problem finding Jeonghan in the sea of caffeine-deprived corporate workers getting their fix in the small establishment. He’s engrossed in his laptop, and he doesn’t realize you’re there until you take the seat across from him, waiting for him to look up.

“Oh,” is all he says, pushing his screen down. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

You sigh. “Yeah, I didn’t think I would, either.”

Jeonghan gives you a sorrowful look, hair fluffy like a halo around his face. “I’m trying, I really am.”

“Jeonghan —”

“I’m juggling so many things at once,” he says quietly. “And I never wanted you to think any less of me. I wanted you to be proud of me..”

“I was. I still am.”

“But I still haven’t done anything.” He sounds more agitated as he speaks. “I haven’t gotten anywhere, I’ve barely made a name for myself. Nothing I do is paying off.”

“You’re trying, though,” you tell him. It saddens you to see him like this. It’s not often that Jeonghan talks about how he feels, especially not now that you’ve grown so distant. “And you don’t have to go off and accomplish great things for me to be proud of you. I already am.”

He’s quiet, like he’s dwelling on something.

“I’m sorry,” he says a few seconds later. “It’s just all been such a mess.”

“That’s okay.”

In the silence between those two words are many more that don’t need to be spoken for him to understand. You’re doing okay. Everything will turn out okay.

“I wish things could go back to the way they were,” he says again, eyes a little shiny when he looks back at you.

Nostalgia fills your brain, all of those treasured memories with him resting in a well-lit corner of your heart.

“You know, it really hurts, Han, to keep doing this push and pull with you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“Don’t apologize,” he laughs wistfully, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I never meant to hurt you, Y/N, honestly. And I’m really trying to be better about it. Things are looking up now, I think. It’s getting a little easier than before.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” You offer him a reassuring smile. “I knew you could do it.”

“How…” Jeonghan starts tentatively. “How long are you here for?”

“I’m not sure,” you reply, fidgeting with one of your bracelets. “Not too long.”

“Are you going to have something to eat?” An olive branch.

“I have food I meal-prepped at home.” A subtle denial.

The silence is loud. You try to think of something, anything to say to fill it, but you come up blank. There’s not much else to be said in the fraught air between the two of you. Not now, anyways.

“I’m sorry, I should let you get back to work,” you say suddenly, eyes landing on his half shut laptop. “I didn’t mean to take time out of your day.”

“That’s okay,” he says softly. “I’m really glad I got to see you.”

“Have a safe trip to… wherever you’re going.”

He chuckles. “Just Jeju, but thank you.”

Before you leave, you reach for the scarf loosely wrapped around your neck — your favorite one you’ve had since college, the plaid cream-colored one — and you set it down on the table. He just looks at you questioningly.

“Why…?”

“It’s cold,” you say with a faint smile. “You haven’t changed, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Thank you.”

You take the time to memorize him — the curve of his face, the soft look in his eyes, the one reserved for you and the ones he holds close. If you could etch his features in your brain here and now, you would.

“Well,” you start, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Don’t be a stranger, Han. The next time I see your name, it better be a call from you instead of another news headline.”

Jeonghan nods, eyes forming crescents. “I’ll do my best.”

And there is something to be said about the love in looking back, for sure, but there is also love in not looking back, in choosing to keep your eyes trained on the path before you. There is love in knowing your weaknesses, that if you turn around you might not be able to walk away after all.

You don’t release the breath you’re holding until you walk out the door. It’s raining, you realize with a start, the previously clear sky clouded over. It seems that your overcast heart has been mirrored by the earth.

The rhythmic droplets provide a strange sense of comfort as you let yourself get soaked, for lack of an umbrella. It works in your favor, anyway, because nobody will assume anything’s amiss if your face is already drenched.

Pit, pat. The smell of wet soil rises in your nostrils, and you let the tears fall.

no matter where i am in the world, i'll say it's you

FOUR YEARS LATER

The lights are blinding, and the sounds of the camera shutters are incessant. But this is the life Jeonghan has always dreamed of, so he doesn’t dare complain.

In truth, he doesn’t care for a lot of the interviews he’s been asked to do — he can’t be bothered by the mundane, mind-numbing questions he gets asked over and over again. Nothing ticks him off like the insensitive digs into his personal life they always ask him, searching for information he doesn’t wish to disclose.

But he does it, anyway, because what choice does he really have? It’s good for your image, Jihoon always tells him, adding another event to his schedule. It’s for your public platform.

“So, you’ve come out with another hit single,” the interviewer starts, beaming at him. His teeth are so artificially white, they seem to reflect the bright studio lights. “How does it feel to accomplish such a success yet again?”

“It’s really great,” Jeonghan answers honestly. “I’m very grateful to my manager, producer, and my beloved family. And, of course, all of the wonderful fans. I couldn’t have done any of this without them.”

“A touching answer as always, Jeonghan-ssi.” The man flashes a smile at the cameras. “Your new single To You was really well received by fans, especially for its fresh and passionate take on what it feels like to be in love.”

The blazer feels stiff now, under the heat of the lights. Jeonghan tries not to dwell too deeply on the true inspiration for the song he’d written late at night a couple years ago, overcome by his own heart.

“I’m really glad that everyone’s been enjoying it so much. That really was the intention,” he says, “to have a song that makes you feel like you’re floating.”

“And it does!” the interviewer laughs. “A lot of viewers really appreciated the sincerity of feelings that was conveyed through the song. Which raised the question; have you ever been in love before?”

Something akin to a late realization suddenly hits Jeonghan right there in the hot seat, under all those lights and cameras. His hand comes up to toy with the end of the scarf he’s wearing, a keepsake of treasured memories.

“Maybe,” he says with a wistful smile.

Wherever you are in the world right now, there’s a small part of him that dares to hope you’re watching.

“Maybe I have.”

thank you for reading! if you have any feedback, i'd love to hear it :) much love, ashi xx

#jeonghan x reader #svt #seventeen #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #svt one shot #svt fics #svt jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #jeonghan friends to lovers #jeonghan one shot #jeonghan fics #kpop fanfic

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enwoso · 14 days ago

Note

Can you maybe write a keira walsh angst fic where reader is her girlfriend and they have opposite schedules for a few weeks maybe keira has England camp and when she came back reader has a work trip and they are just upset they haven't been able to spend time together

OUT OF REACH | keira walsh

masterlist

keira stood in the doorway of her apartment suitcase still in hand and sighed. the quiet was deafening. no scent of a home cooked dinner, no music playing in the background and most crushing of all, no you.

her eyes scanned the familiar space, her heart sinking just that little lower with each step she took further inside. it wasn’t the first time she’d come back to an empty home recently but with each time it happened it didn’t seem to make it any easier.

the past few weeks has been an endless cycle of missed calls and unanswered texts. england camp had demanded every ounce of her energy and the difference in schedules between the two of you made connecting with each other nearly impossible.

whenever she’d finally found a spare minute to call you, you’d be swamped with your own work. each conversation felt rushed and like it was an obligation instead of the comfort she so desperately needed and wanted.

as she dropped her suitcase near the door, her movements heavy with frustration and fatigue. the silence of the apartment felt oppressive and a stark contrast to the notice in her head.

the note you’d left on the kitchen counter caught her eye and she picked it up with trembling hands.

‘kie, i’m so sorry we keep missing each other. another work trip came up last minute. i’ll can you when i can. i love you, always. and don’t forget to eat something decent, okay? - y/n’

setting the note down carefully, her chest tightening as she leaned against the counter. the words were kind, loving even but they weren’t enough.

nothing felt like enough right now - not your reassurances, not her efforts to stay positive. the distance between you wasn’t just physical anymore.

keira sank into the couch, staring blankly at the wall as she replayed the last few weeks in her mind, every missed moment and stilted conversation. the ache in her chest grew sharper with each memory.

—

when you finally called a few days later, keira didn’t answer right away. her phone vibrated on the coffe table as she stared at your name on the screen. it took three full rings before she moved to pick it up.

“hi,” she said her voice low and flat as she sunk back into the couch as your bright smile dropped almost immediately at your girlfriends moody demeanour.

“kei?,” you said softly you voice carrying a mix of warmth and hesitation as you chose your next words very carefully. “you okay?”

“fine.” she replied curtly. it wasn’t true, but she couldn’t bring herself to open up not after weeks of feeling like she was always the one holding on while you drifted further away from her.

a heavy silence settled between you, broken only by the faint sounds of staff wandering past as you stood outside the conference room having a fifteen minute break.

“baby, talk to me.” you finally said, you tone gentle but firm.

she let out a cruel bitter laugh as she ran a hand through her hair, “what’s there to say? your not here and i’m just.. tired.”

“tired? tired of what?” you asked cautiously as you looked around everyone wandering back into the room where you were holding the conference as you wandered to a quieter place in the building, finding a seat on a ridiculously bright green chair which unfortunately matched the walls.

“of this,” keira snapped, her voice rising slightly. “of coming home to an empty apartment. of weeks of not seeing you, of hardly talking. of feeling like i’m the only one who-“

she cut herself off, biting down on the words that were on the tip of her tongue as they almost spilled out. she didn’t want to say it. she didn’t want to admit just how lonely she felt, how much she questioned whether you still cared as much as she did.

“like your the only one who what?” you pressed, your voice trembling slightly as your eyebrows knitted together.

keira closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down. but the dam had already broken. "like i'm only one who is trying!" she burst out as her eyes bubbled with tears. "it's just so hard now, your always working, always gone when i come home and then i'm just.. here. alone"

her words hung in the air, raw and heavy. on the other end of the line you were silent for a moment, long enough that keira had started to regret saying anything at all.

"and you think this is all so easy for me?" you said quietly, your voice laced with hurt, hurt that she would even think of anything like this. "you really think i like being away from you? that i don't miss you every second of every day?"

keira opened her mouth to respond but you didn't let her, didn't give her the chance.

"i'm doing my best here, kei. i don't know what else you want from me," you continued, your voice breaking. "you know i'm trying to run a business. im exhasted and all i want is to be in your arms and i thought you understood this"

the pain in your voice cut through the girl like a knife, keira swallowed hard, her tears stinging her eyes, "i do understand as i know your always understanding of my schedule" she said her voice cracking. "but that doesnt make it any easier. i just.. i miss you, y/n so much and every time i finally get a chance to breath you're not here. and i know it's not your fault but it still hurts"

your sigh comes through the line, heavy with exhaustion and emotion, "it hurts me too kei," you said softly, trying your best to control your breathing, "but we can't keep doing this. we can't keep hurting each other like this. if we don't figure this out.."

you didn't finish you sentence, but the unspoken words hung between you. keira's breath hitched as the weight of it all pressed down leaving an uncomfortable heavy feeling in her chest.

"i don't want to lose you," she said, barely audible.

"and i don't want to lose you." you replied, "but something has to change. keira, we need to find a way to make this work cause i can't feeling like i'm failing you."

keira wiped at her eyes, her heart aching at the vulnerability in your voice. "i don't know how to fix this," she admitted.

"we'll figure it out." you said, your tone firm despite the sadness in it. "and the first step is with me coming home, tomorrow."

keira nodded along, even though you couldn't see her the words not fully processing in her head for a couple of seconds, "ok- wait no you have to finish the con-"

"no, kei. i'm coming home tomorrow morning. the conference can wait. my girl needs me. and plus whose gonna stop me, cause last time i checked i was in charge." you let a small giggle as keira hummed before mumbling an 'i love you' as you did the same thing

"i'll see you tomorrow morning, my love"

the call soon ended after, keira sat in the quiet apartment once more, the weight of your word lingering but this time she felt a little lighter knowing by this time tomorrow you'd be back in her arms again.

and true to your words, you walked through the door - well you got two steps into the apartment before keira was engulfing you in a tight hug. and while it didn't erase the pain or the distance of the past few weeks, it was a start and in the right direction. a promise to keep fighting for each other, even when it hurt and seemed out of reach.

#keira walsh #keira walsh x reader #woso blurbs #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso fanfics #woso #england wnt #england women #engwnt #barca femeni #barca women #barcelona femeni #barcelona women #visca barca #enwoso

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syoounn · 10 months ago

Text

Morning Kisses~

•Morning kisses with bsd men~

•Characters: Dazai, Chuuya Sigma

(part 2)

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

Dazai

The sun has been fully risen up, yet you and your lover were still in bed, and Dazai refused to get up.

"Dazai... We should get up.." You said as he was still clinging to you.

He chuckled and held you in his arms, continuing to burried his face to your neck and inhaling your scent.

"I know we should, but... Can't we just stay here for five more minutes..."

He said as he started to nuzzle himself more into you, refusing to get up nor getting out of you... this is always the struggle that you have to face every day in the morning. Dazai's clingiest is hard to stop... so you have to be patient and just give him the same treatment.

"You already said that many time you know.."

"And I'm gonna keep on saying it many more times as well.." He sighed and kissed your forehead while brushing your hair with his fingers and smiled softly at you.

The way he smiled makes you blush a bit... he's really handsome. As you just sigh and see that both of you won't be able to eat breakfast today...

"How about i give you some morning kisses" You said smiling at him.

"Hmm..." He chuckled as he held down your hands with one of his and used his free hand to play with your hair. "Now, that's the idea I like.."

As both of your lips met... as dazai's lips were soft and gentle... as he pulled away and kissed you again and pulled away again. He kept repeating as both of you were smiling and giggling from the sweet moments and kisses that both of you experienced right now. Even tho he's a stubborn man... you can't help but really love him for that.

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

chu-chuuya

Chuuya's eyes fluttered open slowly, and the room was still dark. It was pretty early in the morning. The birds were just starting to chirp outside as the sun barely peeked over the horizon.

Chuuya stretched and rubbed his eyes, and his hand brushed against yours gently. He sighed happily when he felt you. He started to wake up even more. He looked at you quietly, staring at your sleeping face.

You were hugging a pillow while sleeping Your face was so precious when you were asleep. The way you pressed your head against the pillow and the faint snores that came from your mouth.. how could he not love you?

Chuuya looked down, realizing that he was staring at you a little too much. He felt himself start to blush. Slowly, he pulled you even closer towards him, cuddling you against him. He couldn't wait till you woke up.

You were slowly waking up as he looked down, noticing that you were still clinging to the pillow closely and about to wake up. Chuuya smirked slightly and brushed a lock of your hair away from your face.

"Morning, doll," He muttered softly. Chuuya waited to see if you’d respond first.

You didn't respone as you were still a little bit sleepy and trying to get sleep again as he spoke.

"You're really adorable when you're all sleepy like this." He chuckled softly, rubbing your back as he waited for you to fully wake up.

"Im not.." You said still sleepy.

“Yes, you are.” He said in a low voice, almost purring.

“It’s so cute- I love hearing your little sleepy snores and seeing you press your face against the pillow.”

You didn't respond as you were half asleep.

Chuuya continued to smirk, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“You’re trying to fall asleep again, aren’t you?”

He laughed softly.

“Well, it’s not happening. I want my morning kiss.”

"Later.." You turned to the side of the bed.

Chuuya chuckled, nudging you as you did that.

"Huh? No, I want my morning kiss now."

He continued to pull you into him making you face him, not letting you get away from him this.

You gave him a quick kiss as you lay down on the bed as your eyes slowly closing.

Chuuya was satisfied with getting his morning kiss, but he wanted even more.

"What - that’s it? Come on, that was hardly a kiss." He teased you as he pulled you back against him, trying to get another kiss. He leaned in closer against you, pulling you slightly tighter into his chest so that your body was pressed against his. He then slowly closed the gap between your two lips, his breath hot against your skin, right before the two of your lips finally touched.

Chuuya pulled away and started giving you random kisses on your cheeks, forehead, and everywhere at your face trying to wake you up.

He then stopped he saw you blushing and trying to get up now.. "Fine.. fine... i-..i'll get up..." you said with a flushed face. Little do you know... that's his secret method to make you get up early. Cause... you won't able to resist that.

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

Sigma

You and sigma were cuddling at the early at the morning and, of course... you lover has to go to work and run up the Sky Casino but you being so adorable yet stubborn and won't let go of him.

Sigma place his fingers on your arms to try and persuade you more.

“Please, I need to work but I don’t want to leave you.” His voice sounded gentle and he let out his usual soft sigh.

"Just five more minutes.. pleaaase?" You said looking at him pleading.

“But dear, You've already said that five minutes ago.”

He looked even more saddened by your request for him to stay with you a little more, he hated the thought of leaving you all alone on the soft sofa they were lying in, his hands fidgeted with your soft skin as he held your arms looking in your eyes and he clearly doesn't want to leave you too... but he have to. He sighed once again.

"Fine... then can i just get my morning kiss?" You said.

The moment you ask that, his entire mood would lift, and he would seem a bit more cheerful, which was a nice change from the way he looked before. Sigma's hands were no longer fidgeting with your arms. They now rested on your body.

“Of course.” Sigma said as he started leaning towards you, his lips inching closer to touch yours. And then finally giving you a soft loving kiss right on the lips.

When Sigma kissed you, his body would relax a bit, not completely due to the constant worry he had about his work. But as the two of you started kissing, he could easily take his mind off of the work in his office for a moment and just enjoy the feeling of holding you and kissing you. The soft sigh he gave out made it obvious that he enjoyed this moment just as much as you did.

“Mmm.” Sigma would pull away and nuzzle his warm face onto your neck as he sighed with a content look on his face. “I won’t like leaving you love, I just need to work.”

“Hmm…” Sigma would place his free hand on your cheek, his thumb caressing your soft skin.

“Just promise me one thing, you won’t move while I’m out.” Sigma said as he moved his hand to the back of your head and placing your face onto his chest.

"Mhm.. promise.." You said as you gave him a kiss on your cheek.

Sigma smiled at you as he felt you kiss him on the cheek, he felt relieved that you promised him you wouldn’t move from the position you were in once he left.

“Thank you darling.” He said as he would then stand up from the soft bed and would start walking to the door way, only to look back at you one last time with a smile. “I’ll be back in no time at all. I promise.”

He then walked away to get ready... while you wait for him to come back and get cuddles again. After all, he can’t rest without your warm embrace and kisses.

˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*˜”*

#bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x you #chuuya x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd fluff #sigma x reader #dazai x reader #fluff

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ashlynlovestlou · 11 months ago

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au where abby and reader try to break up :( emphasis on try because they just can’t stay away from each other :( they keep talking and updating each other on things until its too much :( and they get back together :)

(i put my whole back into this pls be nice)

꩜ cw: no smut! abby x reader , reader works at a plant nursery , use of pet names

masterlist

the breakup was rough, to say the least. abby was your first everything. your first kiss, your first girlfriend, your first time, and your first everything. letting go of that was the most heartbreaking thing either of you had gone through.

for the first couple of days post-breakup you could hardly eat and sleep. your bed felt so cold and so empty without her next to you. you even made a lame attempt to line some pillows up to make it seem like she was there. and for a moment, it worked. but her warmth wasn't there for you to wrap yourself in. her heartbeat wasn't there to listen to. and her arms weren't there to hold you.

despite the fact that you were no longer together, you still talked. but less than you usually did. so many messages went unsent, so many calls you hesitated calling.

the first time either of you said something to one another was when you texted her about the job you had been wanting for months. she knew how much you wanted to work at the plant nursery down the street from your apartment, even before you split up. so when you got the email after your interview saying that you got the job, your immediate instinct was to tell abby.

"i got the job!" you had texted her.

"thats so amazing, sweet girl." she responded so quickly that it made you think she was anticipating you to text her, "i'm proud of you."

and just like nothing had happened, you were smiling down at your phone, just like you were before you started dating.

but that butterfly feeling in your stomach didn't last long. it fizzled out when you remembered you were no longer with her.

over the course of a few days you chatted about little things. your first day at your new job. abby's dog, alice, catching a squirrel in her backyard. little, minuscule check-ins. nothing too serious.

until a week later.

"want to get coffee?" she texted you one day, while you were busy watering plants in your denim overalls.

it caught you by surprise, to say the least, but you knew it wasn't a date. just two friends getting together for a cup of joe. not romantic. strictly platonic.

no matter how much you wanted to run back into her muscular arms and re-familiarize yourself with her touch, you couldn't. you shouldn't.

"sure." you text her shortly, without the need to ask which coffee shop or what time. while you were dating, you went every week to the same coffee shop at the same time on the same day and ordered the same drinks.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟthat weekend ｡┈┈⋆

the second you walked through the doors of the coffee shop your nostrils were filled with the scent you missed so much. freshly brewed coffee grounds and warm pastries. the faint sound of chattering from the patrons enjoying their own treats.

and there she was.

sitting at a two-top table, two drinks in front of her. she was already looking at you, as if drinking in your image. even though you were devastated and still a little heartbroken from the previous events of your relationship, you did a good job at finding distractions. which is probably why you don't look quite as miserable as she does.

"hey." she greets you as you sit down across from her, "i um.. i ordered the drink you usually got."

she remembered.

the mug was still warm, so she couldn't have been here long.

"thank you." you nod your head once, "you didn't have to do that."

"its no big deal." she shrugs, taking a sip of her coffee. black coffee, to be exact. you never understood how she liked the bitter taste of it, "how have you been?"

"good." you answer quickly. so quick that she has a hard time believing you. in reality, you were good. but you weren't great. you would never admit to her how you would accidentally cook too much food, because you were used to cooking for two people. you would never admit how many times you've accidentally set the table with two plates instead of one. how you would say 'i'm home!' when you walk through the door, even when nobody was there to listen, "i'm uh.. how about you? how are you?"

"im alright." she says.

but not good. you tell yourself in your head.

for a little while the two of you just chit-chat back and forth, talking about nonsense for half an hour before you notice abby fidgeting. she can't sit still, and you have a gut feeling you know exactly what's wrong.

"sweetheart, i cant keep doing this." she finally breaks, interrupting your rant about how you hate one of your coworkers.

"wait, huh? did i say something wrong?"

she shakes her head, glancing around the coffee shop like she's afraid to make eye contact with you, "we shouldn't have broken up."

oh.

your heart falls to the pit of your stomach, "what?"

"i need you more than i thought i did. i miss you."

you stare at her, eyes wide and lips slightly agape. you wanted to hear these words, but you never thought that you ever would, "are you.. are you serious?"

she nods her head, looking back at you.

"abby, i... i dont know."

"baby." she breathes deeply, desperate for your forgiveness, "dont make me beg."

you exhale, your cheeks burning crimson. you had waited so long for one of you to finally say something about the breakup. you waited so long for one of you to speak up about the need for the other.

without another moment of hesitation, you lean across the table, boldly smashing your lips into hers.

she tastes sweet, just as she always had. she was wearing coffee and the mint chapstick you left at her house and she never returned it, because she liked being able to have your taste with her.

she smiles against your lips, baring all her teeth. when you both pull away you can see her little dimples on her cheeks, the skin underneath her freckles a light shade of pink.

"so.." she says, folding her hands together in her bulky lap, "is that a yes?"

#lynnielovestlou #lesbian #the last of us #queer #fanfiction #fanfic #abby anderson #abby anderson x fem reader #abby x you #fanfic fluff #abby fluff #lesbian fanfic

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vikkirosko · 1 month ago

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Okay, I need something about Nightmare. To tell the truth, I basically need something on Undertale and AU, but there are no requests on this topic, so I'm doing my best

🍎 Nightmare x Reader headcanons Accused without guilt 📚

Nightmare has visited other universes. The negative emotions he found there attracted him, but one universe he was drawn to seemed strange to him. There were a lot of positive emotions, but there was a corner in which negative emotions accumulated. This piqued his curiosity and he decided to go there, ready at any moment to go back to his castle, away from such an unpleasant positive. The place he found himself in was strange. It reminded him of a castle. Stone walls, and the only weak source of light was the candle you were sitting in. You were the source of negativity in this universe, and there was enough of it for him to notice it and pay attention to you. You looked like you rarely left this gloomy, empty room, there were dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep, and in principle you didn't look very well, but as soon as he appeared in the room, your gaze darted to him, even though he was hiding in the dark. The fact that you noticed him couldn't help but make him smile faintly

He asked you why you were in this room, and when he heard your voice, he frowned a little. Your voice was quiet, hoarse, as if you hadn't spoken in a very long time, but you told him, even though you needed to take breaks. You're obviously not used to talking for so long. You told him that you were locked in this room when you were a child and since then you have hardly left this room, and the only people who came to you were those who brought you food or hurt you again. Your words made him frown harder. Your story reminded him of his past. He asked you why you were locked up, but you couldn't answer his question. They never told you the clear reasons, only what you considered nonsense, like that you were cursed, that you attracted failures. It's like from the moment you were born, everyone you met thought you were bad, but no one could tell you why. The more he listened to you, the more anger burned in his chest. He hated when innocent people were being tortured, and he wasn't going to let it continue

The only thing you managed to ask him was who he was. Nightmare said he was the king of negativity, and then he disappeared. He didn't see your faint, faint smile and quiet gratitude for talking to you. You were trying to sleep again. Only in your dreams were you free. It would seem that you could accept your fate and then you might feel a little better, but you couldn't. You hated those who locked you up, even if you once considered them your loved ones. It's been too long for you to continue to have any warm feelings for them. The screams and noise outside brought you out of your slumber. You didn't know what was going on, but you sat there listening to the screams start and end. This continued until the screams finally died down. You didn't know what happened, but you weren't sure if you wanted to be found or not. Both options could have ended with your death. When the door opened, you squeezed your eyes shut because of the bright light and heard voices. Unfamiliar voices that said that, apparently, Nightmare was talking about you. One of the skeletons, and it was them, helped you get up and reach the portal through which you entered the castle of the king of negativity

You were able to see your mysterious guest better and he felt that the negativity in your soul had not gone away, but now he could use it to his advantage. Just as he took Killer, Dust, and Horror to himself, so he took you. He sensed magic in you that was fueled by the pain you had experienced throughout your life, and with proper guidance, your magic could become a powerful force. But first you had to at least start living. He assigned it to Killer, who explained to you where everything was in your new home, he told you about everything, and Nightmare watched you from the sidelines. But he didn't expect to find you in his library. You were sitting right on the floor, quietly muttering to yourself the text written in the book. It was like you were trying to figure out how to pronounce certain words. He watched your efforts for a few minutes and finally interrupted you, asking what you were doing there. You quietly told him that you would like to read the books that were in his library, if he didn't mind. Your request seemed strange, but he saw no reason to refuse it. You often began to come to the library, and Nightmare watched you, feeling satisfied with how books fascinated you, as if it were the most interesting thing you had seen in your entire life, and perhaps it really was

Every day you were filled with life. You looked better, you spoke more confidently and louder, but even when you had a smile on your lips, Nightmare felt the darkness, the negativity that settled in your soul. You couldn't get rid of it even if you wanted to, and he wouldn't let you. You were one of his confidants, you were the one who connected his life with negativity, even if you haven't fully realized it yet. He wasn't ready to admit that he saw himself in you in the past. But he didn't have anyone who could help him, but he was able to find you and now he wasn't going to let you go. But he didn't know that you were and wasn't going to leave. You were grateful to Nightmare for saving you, and you weren't going to betray him. You were bound to him until your death, and nothing could have changed that

#Dreamtale #Dreamtale x Reader #Dreamtale headcanons #Sans #Sans x Reader #Nightmare Sans #Nightmare Sans x Reader #bad sans gang #bad sanses

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snowflakeanimelover · 4 months ago

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Relationship: Thomas Shelby x Female Reader

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Warnings/notes: Cussing, kidnapping, threats, enemies to lovers?, hurt/no comfort, badass reader, reader needs a hug, so does Tommy, SPOILERS, reader is written as American(with no Irish slang or speech mannerisms) but it's not detailed in the story.

Summary: As the leader of the notorious gang Peaky Blinders, Thomas Shelby knows his life won't be easy. Nothing ever is. However, he always felt he had the upper hand.

Until he gets kidnapped and dragged across land by a woman.

NOTES: this might be a mini series. I’ll probably post two chapters and see if people like it. Go from there.

Master list | Chapter 2

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All This Time

It had taken years of patience, blood, pain, and heartache to get where Thomas is today. He had a goal, and he got there to the best of his ability. He got there with hard earned rewards. He pissed a lot of people off while doing it, but what gangster doesn’t have enemies? Thomas has gone through many trials and errors, and he’ll continue to do it until his goals are fulfilled…no matter the cost. He has gotten this far, why stop now?

Thomas Shelby is a man of his word, a man with honesty, a man with smarts. He tends to be one step ahead of everyone. That includes his family and his enemies. However, there’s someone who ends up getting the upper hand.

One night, he remembers just falling asleep at the brink of midnight, and then a forceful push against his mouth with a sweet smell. He felt as if he was suffocating. Suffocating with fear and paranoia. All he could think of was the war, and he couldn’t help but to think how real this dream was. How this person held him down so firmly, pressing a cloth to his mouth. His arms flailed, his legs kicked, and then…

Darkness takes over.

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A cold breeze was what awoke him so suddenly. For a moment, it felt nice, it felt peaceful, until he had almost forgotten what had happened. It was a nightmare, wasn’t it? A horrid dream that felt so real. However, the faint sound of crackling flames, chirping crickets and hooting owls, and many other outdoor noises made him realize he was far from home.

Thomas jolts up within seconds, eyes swimming in dizziness as he tries to wake up. He could feel his body sway from side to side as he sat up, shaking his head here and there to help him focus.

“You’re awake,” a voice says, matter of fact.

He wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt so frantic, so on guard. His ocean blue eyes, that have now become focused, land on a person sitting a few feet away from him on the ground, knees up in a relaxed hurdle sitting form.

A woman.

Thomas didn’t see it at first, mostly because this woman was wearing men’s clothing. Pants, boots, and a simple blouse. Unusual clothing for a woman, but he didn’t particularly care about that detail at the moment.

It’s not like he hasn’t been through this before, being kidnapped or jumped from behind for a good beating. His heart calms instantly, and he takes a deep breath to soothe his nerves. You can’t do anything if you’re frantic.

He takes a moment to study his surroundings, given this woman was sitting so casually close by. Thomas finds himself sitting on a blanket, feeling the prickling grass underneath it, and another blanket laid over his legs. He wore his nightly clothes, which can only prove what he thought was a dream…wasn’t.

Two horses shuffled in place nearby, their reigns tied to a thin tree. A handmade fire pit warmed his form beside him, and a large bag sitting behind the woman. Were they traveling?

”I wouldn’t try anything, if I were you,” the woman speaks up, her gaze flicking up from her fidgeting to the man she kidnapped. “He wants you alive, but he never said I couldn’t harm you.”

A clear threat, but one that hardly phased good ol’ Tommy.

Thomas’ blue irises are trained on the woman now, watching as her fingers pick apart some piece of bread, stuffing some in her mouth here and there to chew. “Where the fuck are we? Who are you?”

She doesn’t answer right away, taking her time to mess with her food and stare at the dancing flames between them. “You can call me Y/N,” she answers vaguely. ”And yes, I kidnapped you.”

”What do you want? Money, eh?” His tone was frustrated, panicked, even. He was trying to think. Trying to answer all of the questions piling in his mind, and figuring out how to get out of there. “I’ve got plenty enough to give you.” It was a cheap shot, honestly. He grimaced at such an easy way to get out of this, but he didn’t really care. He doesn’t like being in a situation where he isn’t in control.

Y/N huffs a breathy laugh, an amused smile adorning her face. The sky was dark, and the orange flames lit her complexion nicely. “I'm sure you do, Mr. Shelby.” And with that, she doesn’t say anything else.

Now Thomas was getting frustrated. What in the world could this woman want? What would she gain out of this?

“You said he,” Thomas asks, thinking about her words from just a few minutes ago. He figured that was enough of a question as it was for her.

”I did,” she nods, not bothering to add anything to it.

He scoffs. And he thought Polly or Ada were difficult…now he surely knows who’s on the top of that list. “Who is he,” Thomas continues. He wants answers, and he wants them now.

“For a powerful gangster, Mr. Shelby, I’m amazed you don’t know all of your enemies,” Y/N comments nonchalantly. “He is someone you’ll find out once we’re there.”

”Where’s there?”

”Boy, you sound just like your son. What’s his name again?” She smirks, glancing at Thomas. “Charlie, right? Although that’s what you all call him. His real name is Charles-“

”Where the fuck is my son?!” Thomas begins to throw the blanket off of him, determined to reach her and wrap his hands around her pretty neck.

But a simple cock of a gun freezes him, and he looks down at her relaxed hand. A 1911 pistol held tightly in her grip as she pointed it right at him.

“Take another step, and I’ll shoot you in the leg,” she warns, “now that wouldn’t be a good idea, hm? If you want to see your son again, I suggest you stay calm.”

With labored breaths, Thomas reluctantly sits back down in his spot, feeling defeated.

”Relax,” Y/N then says, putting her gun back by her side. “I didn’t touch Charlie. He’s right where you last saw him, at home.” she doesn’t miss the way Thomas lets out a breath of relief. She is surprised he believes her so quickly, not that she’s lying, anyway.

Suddenly, a harsh thump is heard as a small half of a loaf of bread falls on his blanket. Thomas’ brows furrowed in confusion as he hesitantly picked it up, glancing at the woman for answers.

“Hungry?” The corners of her lips quirk up into an amused grin, seeming to have the other half of the loaf and takes a bite of it. “You’ll need to eat. We’ll be riding at dawn. It’ll be a long day tomorrow.”

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lightan117 · 4 months ago

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Come back to me

**I needed my angst fic. Yeah, once again, I have no idea what is going to happen, and this is just what has been replying in my brain before I go to sleep, as I lie in bed. Angry and worried Lucanis over my Rooks well-being**

***Anyone else questions what happens when the healer is down in your party? Do you scream oh fuck or just chug a shit ton of potions until you notice there isn't any?**

**Btw, italics is Spite talking**

Warnings: Blood/Injury/Getting impaled/Angst/Near-death experience/violence/Necromancy coming in handy

Pairing: Lucanis x (F)Rook Mourn Watcher

~oOo~

Everything happened too quickly.

Hardly any time to react at all.

If anyone questioned Daisy after all was said and done, if she did it again, she would answer with a smile and a yes. There would be no guilt in her answer, as she wholeheartedly believed that the life of someone she cared about was worth ten times more than her own life. During times of war, there are always casualties. You never know when you will have a final breath or moment. Daisy promised everyone she cared about that she would do her utmost to keep as safe as possible to ensure everyone could still smile at the end of the day. There was enough sadness in the world. At the time, she didn't understand why fear had crippled her for just a moment. Lucanis can take care of himself along with Davrin, but she worries when her eyes notice the hidden mage. A feeling tickled the back of her neck, her hair stood on edge, and this wave of uneasiness washed over her like a cold bucket of water her bullies used to pour on her. What followed was a faint whispering she heard as a child while learning how to commune with spirits. Like an itch at the base of her skull, the words she couldn't make out, but it was a warning.

A warning that something was going to happen.

Two of her skeletons were already engaged, so she was the only backup for her team. With a wave of her hand, she sent a barrier over her comrades before sending a shockwave toward the hidden mage. He was flown back a few feet before suddenly he was pouched on by one of her skeletons. When she heard a shout, she turned to see that Lucanis was having a little trouble. Daisy moved in closer when suddenly a shadowy figure appeared a few feet behind Lucanis. The whispers she had heard were not about the mage—she wasn't listening—they were about the rogue. Now, they were yelling at her to move. Emmrich would scold her for not listening to the spirits, telling her how important it was to pay attention; such an apprentice move on her part.

Without thinking, she ran forward.

There was a sharp pain in her stomach. Daisy could make out a wicked grin that was moving, but the world went quiet. This loud hush deafened the world around her as this blooming pain continued to grow. She slowly looked down to see a dagger impaled through her.

Realization kicked in that she had taken the stab for Lucanis, the rogue standing in front of her with his other armed hand coming closer to her. When the second white hot, searing pain came, she quickly took hold of the rogue's arms, eyes locked with anger. The venatori, at first, was gloating about driving his daggers deep into her, but that gloating quickly wore off once he could start to feel the prickling of the air around him. "Despair." Purple, ghostly hands floated from around Daisy; fingers outstretched toward the man as waves of decaying stench flooded his senses. Fear gripped the man's chest as he released his hold on his weapons, cowering back at the sight. Strange laughing could be heard inside his head, causing him to scream, drawing the attention of Lucanis, who took the chance to throw one of his daggers into the man's eye socket.

Daisy fell to her knees as her breath came out in short huffs. There was a scream, and maybe someone shouted her name before Daisy felt her body suddenly go cold momentarily. The daggers stuck out of her as she continued falling to the floor. Her cheek met the ground, and the taste of iron flooded her mouth.

Sounds came and went as she continued to lie there for what felt like forever. Her thoughts drifted back to her life, her mothers, her friends, the spirits she's helped, to him...oh...why was she thinking of him like that now? Why could she see his face so clearly in her mind, this frown on his face for being so careless? He'd warned her countless times before to be careful, but why did it hurt so much now? He always said she should wear more armor under her robes or at least carry a dagger, but Daisy always said she didn't have to worry if he was around. Daisy's following thoughts were of her mothers with the same frown; they had told her to watch after herself and to contact them should she need anything. They would be so upset to learn how she died. She was dying, right? This is how someone dies?

"Daisy!" The voice was clear and harsh as she was brought into someone's arms. Above her was Lucanis, cradling her closely to him while being mindful of the blades sticking out of her. "Mierda...why did you do that?! You shouldn't have done that; I could have taken the blow." He hissed and tried to decide on the best course of action, but deep down, he was panicking. Lucanis Dellamorte doesn't panic. At this moment, he was. Oh, now you're worried about her? You keep denying that you don't have feelings, but here you are, losing your head. She's going to lose her head, too. She's dying. She's losing too much blood. Lucanis growled at the demon, its thoughts weaving around in his mind.

"I didn't want you to get hurt...just..moved when I saw the rogue appeared behind you." Daisy huffed out as she tried to calm her breathing as much as possible, but panic started to set in. "I've been impaled...spirits, it hurts."

"Lucanis!" Davrin had just finished the last vint when he made his way over to the pair. "Shit. Maker, that's not good."

"You think?! Give me a potion and some bandages." Davrin knelt and retrieved a health potion and bandages from his pack. "Drink this; it will slow the bleeding." Lucanis directed Daisy, practically forcing the liquid into her mouth. She struggled and fought him for a few moments before her brain caught up to what was happening before choaking what she could down. "We must get her to a healer or back to the Lighthouse. I cannot help her here." The blood from her wound was starting to seep between his gloved fingers as he did his best to stem the bleeding. Maker, it was everywhere. Lucanis worked desperately with the bandages around the daggers until Daisy found the sudden surge of energy to move her arms.

"Just pull them out; I can heal myself," Daisy said, but at a sudden movement, she cried out. Tears blurred her vision as she could feel the steal shift inside her. "Pull them out! Please!"

"We pull them out, and you will bleed faster." Lucanis cradled her jaw in his hands so that she would look at him. "Focus on me; you will be fine, yes?" Daisy nodded her head. Spite appeared on the other side of her, the demon glaring at Lucanis, his hands clenching and unclenching. Help her! YOU should have been watching her! Why weren't you paying attention, this is all your fault! "Quiet you!"

"There is a healing house not that far away. Do you think she'll make it?" Davrin asked as Lucanis got to his feet, jostling Daisy in his arms until he had a better grip on her. He winced at every cry that came from her mouth as he moved her but continued to push on. Spite was beside him, yelling at him to move faster.

"She must. I'll follow you." Lucanis nodded at Davrin to lead on; the pair took off. "Keep your eyes on me, Daisy."

"Not like there is anything better to look at. You're at least pretty to look at." Daisy joked with a huff that turned into a cough. Blood slid down her chin, her one free hand confirming it when she wiped what she thought was spit away. "That's not good, is it?" Lucanis said nothing but tried to pick up the pace behind Davrin, who was shouting at people to make way. "My head feels heavy, Lucan..."

Lucanis looked down to see Daisy's eyes start to close, so he gave her a good shake, even if it made her cry out in pain. "I'm sorry, Tesoro, but you need to stay awake. Talk to me." What's the point in saying such soft words to her? She's not going to make it. She's dying, you fool.

"What about? Noth' to talk about..." Daisy looked up at him; he looked so worried. She's never seen that worried look on his face except when they returned from his rescue when he learned about Caterina... "Why do you look like that?"

"Like what?"

"You look so sad." Daisy reached out with her free hand to touch him, her fingers slightly grazing his cheek before a sudden jolt caused her to cry out in pain. "You always look tired or angry, or you have this look, but you're never sad. When you smile...it's so much better."

"I am not sad; why do you think I'm sad?"

"'Cause I didn't listen. I even heard them warn me, but I didn't listen...shoulda listened...now you're sad." Daisy muttered as she looked up at him. "Spite probably is angry at me too...don't like making people upset."

"We are not upset, Tesoro, I promise you. He's yelling at me for not watching you."

"You were busy not getting stabbed as well. Not your fault. Spite...needs to back off for..." Daisy coughed another bloody cough, the iron taste making her want to throw up, "What does that mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"Tes, tes-o-ro-o? Tesro? Never heard that before. Never called me that." Lucanis tried to hide the shock with a smile and a cough.

"Maybe I will tell you once you are well enough to remember this conversation?" Lucanis smiled. Davrin called back to them, pointing to a door before rushing ahead. "We're here, Daisy; they will help you."

There was a flurry of shouts and demands that followed shortly afterward. Daisy was crying out weakly at every jostle of her body; the blades were barely staying inside her. The bandages did the best they could, but there was just too much blood. Daisy could feel the cold steel shift and move inside her with every twitch and movement. She thought someone was speaking to her, but her head felt so lightheaded and heavy that she couldn't understand some words. Daisy screamed when she was finally released from Lucanis's arms, one of the blades sliding out, followed by the other before they rolled her onto her side. There was more cursing and shouting, of course. Daisy just wanted the pain to stop.

"Please...someone...make it stop..." Daisy cried out, tears now freely falling as she struggled to breathe. Lucanis knelt next to her, taking her hand in his tightly. There was that look again; the panic and the worry all rolled into one behind his eyes. "Lucanis..."

"Hush, Tesoro. The healers will take care of you now. Please keep your eyes on me." Lucanis almost sounded like he was pleading with her, but that didn't sound right to Daisy. Why would he plead with her? She's the one causing the issues currently. He should be angry. Davrin should be angry, too. They all should be angry with her. Daisy could make out Davrin talking off to the side, but it was so much harder to hear. There were too many hands on her, pulling and tearing at her, fingers poking and prodding. A sudden rush of fear washed over her as her childhood memories replayed in her mind, the memories of the beatings she used to take as a child. The fear made her afraid, so she clenched her eyes tightly shut, trying to wield everything away, to make everything disappear. All the screaming they did, all the teasing and harmful words they told her. All the time, they would rip her clothing and call her a dirty whores daughter. "Daisy!" There was a call of her name so loud that she looked to see Lucanis even closer to her now. "Eyes open."

"I'm scared, Lucanis." Daisy whimpered as she gripped his hand tighter. Lucanis reached over with his free hand to brush back her hair, ensuring her ear cuffs were firmly in place so they couldn't fall off.

"I'm here." He gently whispered to her. "I'm here."

The poking and the prodding went on for what felt like forever. Daisy could lightly feel the healing magic wash over her, but she could barely feel it. Lucanis stayed by her side while Davrin was busy talking to the proprietor of the healing house, but they were getting a little bit heated. One of the aids to the healers suggested to Lucanis that he might want to step in before they would be forced to stop, whispering that the man in charge was a greedy bastard who didn't care if people lived or died here. Daisy squeezed his hand and told him to go. Lucanis nodded, asking the aid to take his place while he sorted out what was going on.

Daisy felt Lucanis leave, and a part of her wanted to call out, to tell him not to leave her, but she couldn't find the strength to. Her fingers and toes had long since gone numb, and she just felt so heavy. The bed beneath her was so soft and inviting that she didn't notice her eyes slipping close. The aid holding Daisy's hand looked at the healer with a grave expression before they turned their heads towards the doorway where her companions were not far away.

In the other room, Lucanis was going to murder the proprietor.

That is, if Spite doesn't gain control, does it. The rat-face man Davrin and he were talking to couldn't be the real person in charge; there wasn't a caring bone in his body from where Lucanis stood. Corruption was everywhere in the city they were in, but he didn't expect even a local healing house to charge people help before, let alone charge such prices. Davrin was starting to lose his cool when the comment of elves and other backhanded comments. The rat-face man went on about how, in these challenging times, they never knew if someone wasn't going to make it, so they 'changed' their policy that payment needed to be made upfront before anyone helped them.

"Our friend is dying in the next room, and all you care about is coin?!" Davrin got in close to rat-face, fits clenching as he stood firm like a brick wall. Davrin's gray warden stance towered over the man. "If she dies, you will not see tomorrow."

"You see, threats like that will only ensure your friend receives no help. Now, before I must kindly ask you to leave, do you have payment or don't you?" Lucanis could feel Spite beside him, the anger radiating off him like the pulsating headache coming on. If Sunshine dies, it will be on him, not you, which is no fun. Tell him to help her; he needs to help her. Lucanis glanced at Spite behind the man and felt a mutual agreement that should Diasy die, it would give him an actual reason to kill the man.

"You will receive payment once she is stable," Lucanis taking hold of one of his arms before he punched the man. The Crow moved silently in front of the rat-faced man, getting nose-to-nose with him. "And should she not survive due to your neglect, then I have no problem taking yours for her life." Before Lucanis could continue, there was a crash and scream from Daisy's room. The rat-faced man was pushed aside as Daisy's companions rushed to her side.

What they were welcomed to was the healer, standing over Daisy at the foot of the bed, healing her with a worried, scared look on her face. The aide was on the other side of the room and was getting talked down to a ghostly-looking woman. The woman was see-through like a spirit but didn't appear to be one. Another ghostly woman sat next to Daisy, her hand placed over Daisy's as if she could touch it. Daisy's face was paler now than it was when Lucanis left the room. "And who are you two?! Why is this hack healer not doing all they can for my daughter?!" The aide cowered and ran past the two men. The woman who shouted was a tall, heart-shaped face woman who held a certain coldness, but there was something...deeper to her. She was concerned, and her eyes betrayed her with how much. The woman kneeling next to Daisy was of a softer complexion.

"Who are you?" Davrin asked.

"I am someone you will do best not to continue to anger, young man. Now tell me why my daughter's heart stopped and what she is doing lying in such a state!" The woman moved closer, the stool in front of her passing right through her as she walked. The healer went to make a sound, but the woman rounded on her, telling her that until she was spoken to, she was not to stop.

"Her heart stopped?"

"I wouldn't be projected here if it didn't! Now, where is that rat-faced man I was told about?" The woman walked right through them and into the next room. Davrin went with her while Lucanis stayed behind, standing on the opposite side of Daisy. Looking at the woman, Lucanis could see that she was crying silent tears as her thumb stroked the back of Daisy's hand as if she could feel it.

"I thought she was silly putting that stone on Daisy's gift before she left. She told me that I would rather have her body back than get no notice. Seeing her like this...my sweet baby." The woman softly spoke, not really to Lucanis but not really to Daisy either.

"You are her mother?" Lucanis asked.

The woman chuckled sadly, "I helped raise Daisy. Valentina, the woman who just walked out, can be a bit standoffish regarding children and is not the warmest person to know, but she loves Daisy. It doesn't matter if they are related by blood or not." The woman moved to try brushing some of Daisy's hair to the side, but of course, she couldn't. Lucanis saw this and did it for her; the woman gave him a grateful smile. "What happened?"

"We were...fighting, and she stepped in front of me. She shouldn't have done that; I would be the one lying here, not her." Lucanis said. He could feel the guilt start eating him away as he continued to look at her, pulling his hands away. You always hurt others; it's always your fault. Look at her, dying.

"You must be important to her if she did that. I agree; she shouldn't have done that, but Daisy always puts others before herself. It doesn't matter if she gets hurt as long as everyone else is fine." The woman smiled softly at Lucanis. "Don't blame yourself. Just give her a stern talking-to once she wakes. Please sit; there is no need to stand." If she wakes, suppose she decides you're not worth talking to anymore. You almost got her killed.

"If she wakes," Lucanis whispered as he returned to the spot he was once at.

"She will; Valentina will make sure of it. Daisy never asks for help from us anyway; it's the least we can do for her." The woman watched him, her eyes flickering to the healer who stood firmly at the foot of the bed, arms stretched out. "Are you Lucanis or Davrin?"

"What?" This is interesting.

"Daisy sends me letters. Keeping me up to date with whatever she's doing. She mentions meeting...friends recently. From the list of names, I'm guessing you must be either Lucanis the Crow or Davrin the Gray Warden. I'm leaning more towards the Crow now that I'm looking at you." The woman softly smiled.

"Ah...yes. I am Lucanis Dellamorte. Davrin was the one who walked out." Lucanis could start to feel his heart hammer in his chest. "She's written about us?" Why is your heart beating so fast? She's talked about everyone else, not just you. You're not special; why would she find you any different than everyone else? Davrin at least showed that he cares, unlike you. Coward.

"Of course! Daisy hasn't stopped writing about you! Ah-I mean all of you! I am not too pleased about elven dead gods returning, but hearing about the friends she's made helps that she's looked after." The woman reached over to touch Lucanis to reassure him, and he swore he could feel some heat in her spectral hand. "Please don't blame yourself. Daisy will feel worse if you did."

"What does she say when she writes about...us? If I can ask?"

The woman's grin made heat rise to his cheeks. "Nothing grand, little bits of information. She's asked for advice on talking to...friends, but she's nervous about speaking out about certain feelings. Daisy has had a rough beginning, so connecting with others raised alongside the dead hasn't always been a strong suit here. It doesn't help that her mother never really gave her a talk about what to do in these situations. Spirits knows if I did, she would kill me." A wicked smile graced the woman's face. "Just don't tell her I've said anything to you about this. She hates it when I try to meddle."

"I promise, my lady, I will keep your secret."

"Good. I feel more at ease now that I've met you, Master Dellamorte. I know our girl is in good hands. When you can, you should talk to her about how you feel. You might just be surprised." The woman smiled a motherly smile at Lucanis, which caught him off guard. Caterina was never a caring woman; that is undeniable, as she never showed any caring affection towards him growing up. The woman in front of him helped raise Daisy, who has been nothing but kind and understanding since they met. Lucanis could see where she learned to smile so softly at others. Valentina then returned to the room, stating that nothing would impair Daisy's healer now that everything was taken care of. The woman looked at Lucanis and Davrin, saying that should the rat-face man give them any trouble, they were to contact her through the sending stone that was hidden in the charm Daisy attached to her ear cuff.

Then she was gone.

The other woman stood, gave them a bow, and then disappeared.

"Well...that was strange," Davrin spoke before turning towards Lucanis. "Who was the other woman?"

"A friend of her mother's, but she never gave her name. The other woman was Daisy's mother if you didn't figure that out."

"When she said daughter, I assumed so!" Davrin protested, his eyes then moving to Daisy. Some color had returned to her face, but not much. The healer, who had remained in the room the whole time, stopped healing to say that the immediate danger had passed. Daisy would still require healing in a few hours, but she would prepare a paste to put over the wounds in the meantime. "We should get washed up then now that she's stable."

"You go first; I will remain here until you do." Lucanis didn't even bother looking at the Gray Warden, his eyes never leaving Daisy's face.

"Alright. I'll also send a message to the others to inform them of what happened. Emmirch or Bellara could lend the healers a hand so that Daisy could be moved back to the Lighthouse sooner." Lucanis nodded his head, and Davrin left.

Now that it was just the two of them, Lucanis moved closer to Daisy. As his hand moved towards her, he noticed he was still wearing his gloves, stained with Daisy's blood. He removed them quickly, tossing them to the floor without a car. Lucanis double-checked that her earcuffs remained secured while gently brushing away stray hairs from her face. Her hand felt clammy on his own but didn't feel as cold as before, which was a good sign. He gently moved her hand to his lips, kissing softly on the back before resting his forehead.

"Come back, cara mia." Lucanis whispered softly, "Come back to me. Please ask me again what that word means. I wish to see you smile again at me, as greedy of a man I am." He kissed her hand again, eyes clenched shut as he felt the sting of tears. "Come back to me, I beg you."

~oOo~

*Some weeks later at the Lighthouse*

"I'm tired of this, grandpa!" Daisy yelled from where she lay on the sparing ring. Davrin and Lucanis are watching with amusement on either side of her, not even breaking a sweat from their training session with her. Emmrich was sitting not that far away, sipping tea while Manfred was standing behind him.

"Unfortunately, my dear, that is too bad. You are the one who decided to get impaled and worry everyone with your near-death experience." Emmrich said to her with an amused smile. Once Daisy was back on her feet, everyone had officially put their foot down, with Daisy not wearing more armor, let alone not carrying a secondary weapon. Davrin and Lucanis both volunteered to help teach her.

"They're going to kill me!" Daisy said, getting to her feet with a huff.

"Not if you don't keep your arms up!" Davrin shouted before rushing at Daisy again. She screamed before turning around and running away, taking shelter behind Lucanis.

It was going to be a long training session.

#dragon age #dragon age rook #dragon age vailguard #oc #lucanis dellamorte #lucanis x rook #hurt/comfort #angst #little bit of angst #Spite is a shitter here #tw blood #tw wounds #Rook gets hurt #emmrich volkarin #Emmrich being a grandpa

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furrytalebeard · 11 months ago

Text

Mike and pops

Right where did we leave off. Well my former athletic brother was a bumbling adult baby and my dad who was a rough basketball coach was now my boyfriend. My dad also switched careers somewhere along the reality shifts to being a professor, probably to help with the fact my brother now has low intelligence and no athletic skills.

At first it was weird having a now sort of nerdy father but what was more weird was after switching his expectations for me to love, he was completely infatuated with me. It was great before this my brother got all the love, of course he still got attention being a pants pooper but my father swooned over me. I’d started calling him Travis, his first name as we were more like boyfriends now if anything.

Travis walked into the room and saw me and smiled, opening his arms for a hug. "If it isn’t my beautiful boyfriend and son Mike. He said as I shyly hugged him, feeling his large round belly. It was still awkward being doted on so much, something I wasn’t used to. One thing I noticed ever since my dad switched to being a professor is that he hardly had time to workout and he was only getting larger. Before this he had sort of a muscle gut, and would workout with Joel. Now when he wasn’t teaching he was changing diapers or giving private lessons. I wanted to make a switch, see if I could speedrun his own gains. I switched out the traits of fat, with muscular I watched as his suit began to become loose as his muscles bulged out.

For a moment he was stunned before he grabbed me and pulled me into another much more forceful hug. "Sorry son just really felt like squeezing you, hehe" he said as I got a face full of his hard abs. In an instant I regretted my decision, his fat belly felt much nicer and now it was like hugging a body builder over my fat attractive dad. The problem was I couldn’t easily override changes I’d just made so I’d have to swap out other traits to get the desired results. I figured reality might shift in my favor if I made my dad a bit lazier. So I switched out his traits of hard working, with laziness. Instantly my father’s weight began to return to match this change in traits, even his sense of style began to vanish. I watched as my father went from stunned to letting out a huge fart then patting his big belly. "Gyhahaha that was a big one. Imma go sit my feet up honey, why don’t you go check on your brother."

I hadn’t noticed it but as I walked to check on Joel the light in my amulet began to dim. Joel had really begun to embrace his role as my "little" brother . He was playing games, of course the only games he could play were those meant for young kids. I could tell he needed a change from the way his onesie sagged in the back and the faint smell but I didn’t feel like it so I let him sit in it.

“I’m tryna play games! Don’t bother me go let dad kiss you or something!” He took his pacifier out to say and pouted.

“Whatever little bro.” I said annoyed. I went back to find my dad with his feet up on the coffee table watching tv with a beer in hand.

"there you are son URRP." my dad said motioning for me to come give him a hug and a kiss. "Come give me some sugar then get started on dinner, pops is hungry"

I kissed him then groaned as he burped in my face, I got back his belly but I wasn’t a fan of his lazy attitude. I’d need to make another change. I looked to my amulet and noticed its regular glow had dimmed, when I tried to make a change nothing happened. Drat, I’d have to wait for it to recharge meaning my dad was stuck like this.

For the next couple of days my dad would get home from work and toss of his work clothes in exchange for an unwashed wife beater. He’d then kick up on the couch and drink beer, leaving me to cook in clean. I also had to take over the responsibilities of taking care of Joel which was smelly and unfun. At the end of the day my dad would get into our bed and fart up a storm, laughing and saying it was part of being old. The only solace I had was that when he wasn’t being a lazy slob he was great in bed if you know what I mean. Basically things were sorta a mess but I could tell the amulet was slowly regaining power, so I left it in my drawer to gain continue charging.

———

end note:

hope you guys enjoyed the sequel to my last story if you guys are enjoying it leave a comment, let me know if you have any story ideas. What would you like to see next, maybe a part 3?

should Mike continue to use the amulet or maybe his dad Travis will find it. Or perhaps even Joel could find it and get his revenge? Lemme know!!!

#male tf #mental change #transformation #age progression tf #dumbing down #hypnosis #gay hypnosis #strong daddy #silverdaddy #beefy #male transformation

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thymaddymoo · 14 days ago

Text

What If . . . the story went nicely

A gift for the wonderful @themonotonysyndrome

The sun was beginning to set over Intacia, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, but inside the manor of Imperial Baroness Celica and Commander Castin, the atmosphere was a flurry of anticipation. The excitement in the air was thick, and the normally composed Castin could hardly sit still. He paced relentlessly across the room, his jaw tense, hands fidgeting as he struggled to calm his nerves. Always a man of action, confident and composed in every situation, Castin now felt as if his heart might pound right out of his chest.

“Castin, you’ve checked everything at least three times,” Celica, said from the bed, her voice calm despite the labor pains she endured. She had maintained an air of grace throughout her pregnancy, unshaken even during the most uncomfortable moments.

“I just want everything to be perfect,” Castin muttered, raking a hand through his dark hair. “This is… this is our baby, Celica. Our little one.”

Celica smiled faintly, despite the ache in her body. “It already is perfect.”

The hours passed in a blur of tension and quiet encouragement. Castin hovered by his wife’s side, every nerve taut as he watched her endure with strength and dignity. He hadn’t felt this powerless since his earliest days as a young soldier. Time stretched endlessly—until, at last, the sound they had waited months to hear filled the room.

A newborn’s cry.

The midwife, a wise woman with steady hands, beamed as she cradled the infant in soft blankets. Turning to the expectant parents, she announced joyfully, “It’s a girl.”

Castin blinked. A girl? The words barely registered before his legs gave way beneath him. With a graceless thud, he collapsed backward into a chair, tipping precariously to one side before landing sprawled across the seat, one arm dangling limply over the edge. His face was frozen in disbelief, the shock overwhelming even a battle-hardened commander like him.

“Castin!” Celica gasped, half amused despite herself.

The midwife chuckled. “I’ve seen fathers faint before,” she said dryly, “but none quite as dramatic as that.”

Celica shook her head, smiling softly as she cradled their daughter. “He’ll be fine,” she assured the midwife. “He just needs a minute.”

A minute turned into several before Castin groaned and stirred, blinking groggily as he sat up. His face flushed a deep red as he realized what had happened. “I—I’m fine,” he muttered, clearing his throat and trying to reclaim some semblance of dignity. “Just… got a little overwhelmed.”

Celica arched a brow, amusement dancing in her eyes. “You don’t say.”

Then, as if drawn by an invisible force, Castin’s gaze landed on the tiny bundle in Celica’s arms. The breath caught in his throat. She was perfect—tiny and fragile, yet undeniably strong. Her thick black hair, soft as silk, framed a delicate face. When she opened her eyes for the first time, Castin’s heart clenched. Those bright blue eyes, filled with wonder, mirrored his own.

“She’s a girl,” he whispered, the words carrying a weight of disbelief and awe. “A girl.”

“Yes, Castin,” Celica teased gently. “You’re officially a girl dad.”

A broad, goofy grin spread across Castin’s face, wiping away every trace of embarrassment. “I’m a girl dad,” he repeated, the pride in his voice unmistakable.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Queen Isolde entered the room, her face lighting up at the sight of Celica holding the tiny infant. Behind her was King Rhett.

“Well, well,” Rhett said with a rare chuckle, “looks like Intacia has a new Baroness.”

Isolde beamed as she approached. “She’s beautiful, Celica,” she said warmly. “And it’s obvious she’s got her father’s looks already.”

Celica laughed softly. “She does,” she agreed, brushing a strand of hair from her baby’s forehead. “Though I’m sure we’ll see more of me as she grows.”

As more well-wishers arrived—loyal retainers, curious children from the village, and even a couple of eager journalists—the room filled with joyful chatter. One soldier clapped Castin on the back. “She’ll be strong like her father,” he said proudly.

Castin smiled, stepping closer to Celica and their daughter. “Or strong like her mother.”

The baby stirred in Celica’s arms, and Castin gently reached out, his finger brushing against the baby’s tiny hand. To his amazement, her fingers curled around his. His chest swelled with wonder as he whispered, “Look at her. She’s everything I didn’t know I needed.”

“Do you have a name for her yet?” Isolde asked softly.

Celica and Castin exchanged a glance. Then Celica spoke, her voice tender. “Serafina.”

“Serafina,” Castin echoed, tasting the name on his tongue. “It’s perfect.”

And as the celebration continued, Castin held his daughter close, the weight of responsibility mingling with boundless joy. He had faced countless battles, led armies, and protected his people—but nothing compared to this.

This was love. This was fatherhood. This was everything.

#castin hammer #desmond asmr #baroness (listener)

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racheyace · 6 months ago

Note

Has Matt ever actually accidentally hurt Luke when he was shrunk before?

Another late reply to this ask! Again I'm sorry! But also your idea is the second runner up in the polls! So congratulations!

I'm really happy with how this story came out, also there is much angst! You've been warned!

Approx 3.3k words

Broken

“Luke! I hope you’ve already settled on the idea of takeout tonight cos I am so not in the mood to provide sustenance!” Matt groaned as he shut the apartment door behind him.

It had been a particularly taxing 12-hour shift for Matt, and he was honestly ready to just go to bed without dinner if there was nothing quick and easy to eat.

The apartment was quiet, but Matt hardly noticed being too tired to care much at the moment, he instead slid open the balcony door and promptly lit a cigarette, leaning heavily on the railing and fighting to keep his head held up straight.

He stood there for a long while, for once his mind was quiet, the sounds of the streets the only thing he could hear as the sunset for the day and he found himself admiring the orange and purple hues of the misty skyline. New York could be so very ugly sometimes, too busy, too loud, too many idiots and too much violence, but it could also be quite beautiful, Matt found himself smiling softly to himself and soaking in the view.

When he got back inside, he noticed with a little more alertness that Luke hadn’t said a word since he’d gotten home, which was strange.

Matt walked through to their small kitchen and turned the kettle on, ready to make himself a coffee and as he did so, he opened up his phone to look at the last messages he’d gotten from Luke that day.

Around mid-day Luke had sent a message to him reading:

‘Five hours to go! You got this!’

And then another message at 3:30pm reading:

‘At least you don’t have an hour of meetings this afternoon! What would you like for dinner?’

Matt had responded with:

‘So done with today! I’d be happy just to eat grass right now mooo! You choose.’

And then the last message from Luke was from only half an hour ago at 5:30pm:

‘Salad it is, your favourite! I’ll think of something, also the tv is doing weird shit again, I’ll sort it out tomorrow, see you when you get home’

“So weird, he should be here.” Matt said to himself as he added milk and sugar to his coffee.

Taking a sip, he headed for the balcony again, figuring that Luke may have gone out to get dinner or something from the shop. He paused at the sliding door though when another possibility entered his mind.

“Luke?” He called out again. “Are you small right now?”

Luke was usually pretty good about letting Matt know when he was small which honestly was not very often. Whatever Luke had on him at the time of the shift would shift with him, so if he was small Luke would normally have sent Matt a text to let him know. That, or he would call out, it could be dangerous for Luke when he was small, particularly if Matt didn’t know where he was.

There was still no reply.

Matt decided he needed to do some elimination, so first he headed down to the garage to see if Luke’s car was still there, which it was, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t gone out, there was a takeaway place down the street that Luke would walk to from here. Matt then pulled out his phone again to call his missing friend.

It rang and rang and then went to the message bank.

“I swear to god Luke, if you shrank without your phone on you, I’m gonna kill you, if I don’t step on you first of course, fuck!” Matt shivered at the thought.

It was a very real possibility and one that had given Matt nightmares in the past, not that the scenario had ever even come close to happening in reality, it still made Matt uncomfortable to think about.

Matt headed back upstairs to their apartment and dialled Luke’s number again, this time he could hear a ringing, though it was very faint, probably coming from a very small mobile phone. He tried to follow the sound but then it went to the message bank again and he groaned in frustration.

“Luke I’ve had the shittest day, could you just come out, I don’t have the energy for this stupid game of cat and mouse.” Matt said to the empty apartment, again there was no response.

With a hand slowly dragging down his tired face, he paused remembering that Luke would also shrink when he was sad, tired or scared. The last time Luke had shrunk when he was sad was when Luke and Jason had broken up, that time he’d also not called out or texted Matt that he was small. Matt had found him sobbing by the front door, he also hadn’t had to go searching for him because he was out in the open, but Luke was nowhere to be seen right now.

Matt realised that his last comment was probably kind of harsh, particularly if Luke was upset, but he had nothing to go on, just a tiny ringing and no Luke.

“I’m sorry, I’m just tired, please call out or make a noise if you can, I’m starting to freak out over here.” Matt said more gently this time.

He walked over to the loungeroom, watching his step and sat down on the couch after also checking that it was Luke free, including checking under the cushions.

Matt then noticed the blue screen of death was on their tv and remembered that Luke had said something about the tv being broken again.

He stared at the awful blue screen for a few minutes, and then it struck him that Luke had said something about the tv in his last text.

Matt pulled out his phone once more and redialled Luke’s number, the faint ringing could be heard again and as Matt slowly moved closer to the entertainment unit, he could hear it getting louder.

“Luke?” Matt called out again after the phone went to voicemail once more.

“M-matt!?” Luke’s small voice called out, and Matt breathed a sigh of relief at the sound.

He’d finally gotten a response and he couldn’t believe what Luke was doing, clearly, he’d decided to try and fix the problematic television himself and most likely gotten himself stuck or something.

“Dude, are you seriously inside the Tv right now?” Matt asked incredulously.

“No I-I was in the wire box thing-the thing behind the tv and now….I’m not sure, I think I-fell.” Matt had to strain to hear him, he still sounded so far away.

Carefully he pulled the entertainment unit away from the wall and found the box that Luke had mentioned, a small white box with wires coming out of it that were then connected to the tv.

“Are you hurt?” Matt asked with his hands on the white box, ready to pull it from the wall but hesitating when he realised that he could potentially hurt Luke in the process.

“I-I think I was-electrocuted.” Came Luke’s muffled response.

“Jesus fucking Christ Luke.” Matt was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration with his idiotic roommate. “Are you still in the white box? What can you see?”

Turns out Matts long day as a paramedic was not yet over, he would have to pull a full search and rescue on his best friend, he’d pulled many people out of walls before, never one so small though.

“I’m not in the white box…” Luke began. “I’m in the wall-but I’m stuck-the wires are all around me-Matt I can’t move!”

“It’s alright Luke, I’ll get you out of there, just try not to move much, I’ll be back in a sec.” Matt moved away from the wall and went looking for some tools that he may need.

Once all the necessary equipment was acquired, he returned to the space behind the Tv, with a stethoscope in his ear, he placed the metal end to the wall and began to listen carefully.

“Marco.” Matt said, figuring lightening the mood would ease both of their nerves.

“Polo!” Luke called, his voice was a little further down the wall and Matt repositioned the stethoscope.

“Marco.”

“POLO!”

“Bingo.” Matt smiled, he pulled out a pencil and marked the spot on the wall.

Now if he was with his team, they’d discuss strategies, either cutting a hole from above or below, but Matt didn’t have a team so he would have to work out the best course of action himself.

If he cut from below, Luke could be stuck with a mess of wires tangled around his legs which would make it difficult to pull him downward from. If he cut from above Luke, then it was possible he’d be able to lift Luke back up the way he’d come. If worst came to worst, he’d have to cut some wires to free his small friend.

“Now, I’m going to cut a hole in the wall above you, it may be noisy, I’ll try to be quick, but I’ve only got our little handsaw to work with.” Matt gave a nervous chuckle and waited for Luke to respond.

“Okay!” Luke shouted in response to his friend’s plan.

Matt pushed the saw into the wall about 8 inches from the line that he’d marked, if he estimated correctly, he should make the hole a few inches above Luke’s head.

The handsaw was rusty and pretty much useless, so it took a good ten minutes for Matt to make a square big enough for even just his hand to fit through. With a grunt of effort Matt pulled the square piece of plaster out of the wall and then made to look inside but it was far to dark to make out anything except the wires directly behind the hole.

Matt grabbed his phone and held it in the hole with the camera on flash, the flash setting illuminated the space and the camera showed Matt what he was working with. Luke was indeed tangled and didn’t look like he was fairing too well, Matt thought he looked rather pale, his hair was a staticky mess, and he was indeed very tangled.

“Hey buddy.” Matt said in a quieter tone and smiled when Luke’s little blue eyes looked upward and squinted into the light.

Luke was very stuck, not only were his legs tangled as Matt had suspected but both his arms were looped by wires as well as his chest. Matt wasn’t even sure how he’d managed to get so tangled, it was actually quite impressive.

“You are pretty wedged in there. Are you in any pain? Do you have any burns?” Matt asked, still looking at the camera trying to see any physical injuries that Luke may have gotten.

“I’ve got a burn on my hand and that kinda hurts, I’m cold and sort of tingly but that’s probably from shock, right?” Luke’s blue eyes looked up toward the camera again after looking over his own body the best he could.

“Yeah, electrical shock, your gonna need to go to hospital when I figure out how to get you out of there.” Matt grumbled, his long day was going to turn into a long night so it seemed.

Matt picked up the pair of pliers and hesitated as he thought over how he was going to do this. There were five wires, three of them were wrapped around Luke in one way or another.

He could cut the two wires holding his arms but then he would still be stuck around his middle, or possibly fall further into the wall. If he cut one of the wires holding his arms, then Luke could hold onto the wire with his other hand when his midsection was freed.

Matt would then need to pull Luke out and hope that the upward movement would be enough to free his other hand in the process. It was all he could come up with for the moment and it would have to do, he needed to get Luke out of there and to a hospital as quickly as he could.

“Alright, I’ve got a plan.” Matt explained his idea to his friend and Luke agreed that it seemed like the best option.

Matt pinched the wire that held Luke’s injured hand and made the first cut, Luke gasped as the taught wire went limp and with a small shake it fell far below him. One done, one to go.

“Hold onto the wire now, I’ll try to be fast.” Matt warned, as he pinched the wire that was holding Luke’s midsection captive.

Luke winced as the wire tightened momentarily around his stomach, his knuckles white around the wire that held his left arm, and then his stomach was free as the second wire fell through the wall below him.

Wasting no time, Matt reached his hand in, having to go in blind for this part, his fingers extended toward Luke, only two of his fingers could fit far enough in and they bumped into the miniscule body, causing Luke to sway on the wire.

“Matt hurry!” Luke gasped, legs dangling and his palm becoming sweaty.

“Give me your hand.” Matt called down.

Luke’s free hand reach toward the large fingers and when he placed his palm on the pad of Matt’s middle finger, Matt pinched Luke’s hand between the two. This would be a judgment game, too much pressure and he would break Luke’s hand, too little pressure and Luke would fall.

“Does that feel secure?” Matt asked.

“A little tight but good, don’t let go!” Luke called upward.

“I’m gonna pull you up now, ready?” Matt felt small beads of sweat building on his own forehead, he shook the stray strands of blonde hair that had fallen out of his ponytail out of his eyes and focused.

“Yep!” Was Luke’s high pitched response.

Matt began to slowly pull his hand out of the wall, beads of sweat formed on his forehead at the painstaking pace and then his heart dropped into his stomach when he heard Luke cry out in pain. There was a small pop of muscle that Matt could feel had come from Luke and he stopped immediately, almost losing his grasp on his Luke’s hand.

“Are you okay? What happened? Is your hand free? Luke!?” Matt was hysterical, he couldn’t let go of Luke’s hand between his fingers for fear he would fall.

Matt’s mind was racing, had he pulled too hard? Too fast? Had he injured his best friend in an attempt to save him?

“Ahhh!” Luke cried out again in agony, before responding properly. “I-It’s free p-pull me out!” Luke’s voice was laced with pain and Matt feared the worst.

Finally, his fingers were free of the wall, and he pulled Luke out immediately laying him in his open palm. Luke clutched his left shoulder and was visibly shaking.

“M-my shoulder.” Luke cried, tears falling down his dusty cheeks.

“D-did I do that?” Matt asked in a state of shock and fear, his worst fear, that he would hurt his best friend when he was so small.

“I-I think its dislocated ahhhh” Luke winced touching his sore arm and immediately regretting it.

“I’m so sorry Luke, I didn’t mean to I-“

“It’s okay Matt, I’m okay, ahhhh, just-can-you put it back?” Luke’s eyes met his once more, Matt was shaking his head, his hands shaking and feeling as though he was only making things worse, he quickly lay Luke down on the carpeted floor.

“I-I can’t.” Matt was stunned, he looked at his hands as though they weren’t his own, his fingers trembled furiously.

“You’re a paramedic.” Luke said through gritted teeth.

Matt almost laughed, he didn’t feel like much of a paramedic right now. He was supposed to heal people and get them to help faster, he wasn’t supposed to injure his patients, how could he have done this to his best friend?

“I-I’m too big.” Matt sat down on the carpet, utterly at a loss as to what to do now, how could he help his friend without making everything worse or hurting him further?

Matt seemed to drift off into space, he could no longer hear Luke talking to him or trying to calm him down, everything was dull and foggy, the only thing he could hear was his heart beating in his ears and the tingling of his shaky body.

Perhaps his nightmare had come true, he had dreamt years ago that Luke had been hurt by his own monstrous hands. He could hear Luke’s small voice begging with him, pleading with him and yet there was nothing he could do, he was simply too big, too rough and too dangerous.

“MATT!” Luke was shouting in his face now, waving his hands in front of his face to try and snap his friend out of his trance.

“L-Luke?” Matt asked, his brain not fully comprehending that his friend was now his usual size and shaking his shoulders.

“H-how? What?” Matt didn’t even know what to think, Luke was normal sized again, he wasn’t gripping his shoulder in pain, the colour had returned to his face, and he seemed to be okay.

“Super healing remember?” Luke smiled at him, showing his hands to Matt and finding no evidence of an electrical burn, or a dislocated shoulder, it was as though nothing had happened at all.

Matt finally snapped out of his stupor and tackled Luke to the floor, hugging his friend furiously and cursing him for his stupidity for getting himself into that kind of situation.

When he calmed down, he released Luke and offered him a hand to help him up off the floor, he then made a beeline for the balcony, figuring he had earnt himself a cigarette after that stressful event. Still not fully believing that he hadn’t just imagined the whole thing, he could still feel the small pop through his fingers as he’d pulled Luke’s shoulder out of it’s socket.

The nausea still swimming in his stomach at the reality that he’d hurt his best friend, hurt Luke when he’d been at his most vulnerable.

“Are you sure you feel fine?” Matt asked once seated in his usual chair on the balcony, Luke sitting in the other chair beside him.

“Really, I’m okay, I’m sorry I scared you, it was stu-“

“I’m the one who should be sorry, I could have ripped your damned arm off!” Matt still couldn’t shake the queasiness in his stomach at what he’d done to his friend, he didn’t deserve to be forgiven so easily.

Luke had trusted him, and Matt had hurt him.

“Matt come on, don’t do this, this is my thing, I’m supposed to be the one riddled with self-loathing and unable to forgive myself, not you.” Luke began but Matt wasn’t listening, instead looking off into the distance and shaking his head as he took another drag of his cigarette.

“You’re the hero this time Matt, you saved me.” Luke insisted. “I can’t thank you enough honestly.”

Matt crushed out his cigarette and stood up.

“I’m gonna head to bed, we’ll need to call an actual electrician tomorrow, goodnight.” Matt brushed past him and made his way into his room before promptly closing the door and leaving Luke sitting there in the cool night air.

He wasn’t sure if he was mad at Luke, or angry with himself, all he knew right now was that he didn’t want to talk about it and he desperately needed some sleep. Perhaps forgiveness and closure would come in the morning, but he wasn’t going to find it that night.

Oh no! The tv is broken! Luke was broken! And now we’ve managed to break Matt! My poor boys! Who else agrees that Matt deserves a holiday, the poor boy needs a day at the spa.

#gt #g/t #giant/tiny #gianttiny #giant #tiny #gtfluff #size shifter #sizedifference #lukeandmatt

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