#like this is fun to me which is basically all that matters. perfect cohesive plot be damned look at these funny guilds interact

[chromaji]

i rethought chapter 1 of book 2 of OtL and unfortunately i think Zan’s gonna need to briefly lose consciousness again. which is something i was REALLY trying to avoid lmao. But yeah its like 5 minutes this time

…

and this will be the last time for a good while🚶‍♂️

[lucemferto]

Niki Nihachu & Barbara Kean

Gonna drop something controversial real quick.

Niki Nihachu is the most tragic character on the Dream SMP – and I don’t mean in the sense of her having a tragic story (though she is up there), but in the sense that she is tragically mishandled.

I want to start out by saying that this essay is by no means an attack on the content creator Niki Nihachu or her abilities as a performer. She is frequently one of the strongest actors on the SMP and I have no idea how much of her character writing was within her power. How much of it was improv, how much pre-planned, how much something she genuinely wanted to do and how much stuff she just stumbled into or – in the worst-case scenario – was forced upon her. I don’t know.

The Dream SMP is not very transparent when it comes to their creative process. As such I can only judge it as a discerning viewer and English major dropout, who retained some half-remembered stuff about narratology.

So, a few weeks ago, I tumbled on here that Niki’s character journey reminded me a lot of the character Barbara Kean from the hit TV-show Gotham. Then I got an ask asking me to elaborate. This is the elaboration.

Barbara Kean

So, a quick crash course for people who haven’t seen Gotham (the greatest comic book show on Television, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!): Barbara Kean was a major female character throughout all five seasons of Gotham – and not once during those five seasons did the writers ever figure out what they wanted to do with her.

Every 10-12 episodes or so, Barbara’s role shifted completely. She started out as cop-protagonist Jim Gordon’s girlfriend at home and moral compass, then became part of a bisexual love triangle, then a hard-drinking jealous party girl with a backstory as repressed, lonely rich kid, before being kidnapped by a serial killer and ultimately making her perfect metamorphosis into the psychotic ex-girlfriend trope.

And that was Season 1.

Since then, she became the pseudo-Harley Quinn to the pseudo-Joker, a whip-wielding dominatrix, the obligatory female member in a supervillain squad, some sort of information broker, a mafia kingpin, the leader of a girl-power posse and – my favourite – the reincarnated wife of an ancient immortal who also controls all of Gotham and transferred that control over to her before that plot-point was dropped harder than a half-dead Oswald Cobblepot of the Gotham piers.

Also, she’s Batgirl’s mom.

In short, it’s a mess – but that’s what makes Gotham kinda fun.

Character Cohesion

Now, obviously, Niki’s character journey has not been quite as extreme. But it falls into the same traps, I find. Namely, that there’s just a distinct lack of character cohesion or character continuity.

Now, character cohesion or character continuity doesn’t mean that the arcs these characters undertake can’t be explained in a logical way. Barbara’s character journey is logical in the sense that you can explain it all with in-universe logic – but it’s not logical from a narratological sense now, is it?

Character Cohesion basically means that a character’s journey is reflected in their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need. Their arc is the natural continuation of what was set-up in previous sequences. Everything falls into a whole with Set-up, Confrontation, Resolution – we set up the character’s Want, their Want and Need are conflicting, the Want vs. Need is resolved. Ideally this coincides with the plot beats of the large conflict surrounding the cast.

When you look at Barbara in Season 1 of Gotham, you’re not thinking “This one right here – she’s the reincarnated wife of Ra’s Al Ghul”. Because why would you? There was no set-up; it’s not part of what her character was about in this moment – or any moment before that concept was introduced. It’s not needed for her character conflict (or any thematic conflicts for that matter).

It’s quite transparently just something that is affixed to her so that she has something until the writers come up with the next at which that first thing will dropped, underdeveloped.

Niki in Season 1

Niki follows the same route, unfortunately. She’s set-up as the resistance in L’Manburg, allies herself with Eret and HBomb until – oops – it doesn’t end mattering, because that entire side of the “plot” is completely underdeveloped. Just be a damsel until Wilbur can swoop in and save you, Niki.

Okay, but now she has a big moment with Tommy and Tubbo just after the pit-scene. “We’ll figure something out”, she says. “We need L’Manburg back”. This is all before the backdrop of Wilbur completely giving in to his role as a villain and Techno’s apparent “betrayal”.

So, now, surely, Niki is gonna affect change in Pogtopia and will have some influence on either Tommy or Wilbur, the two people she’s closest to. What’s this? Her biggest contribution is holding a birthday party where Quackity convinces Wilbur to hold off on his TNT-plan? And after that … she’s just gonna be part of the Pogtopia-masses?

Now, I like Wilbur’s writing and Season 1 generally, but when it comes to Niki (and Eret) something went terribly wrong. Both of them provided many a set-up – none of which were taken advantage of, unfortunately.

And, just to be clear, I’m not putting the blame on Niki here (or at least not most of it). Season 1 was pretty firmly in Wilbur’s hand … and Season 2 was a train wreck.

Niki in Season 2

Niki is – for the most part of Season 2 – a nothing character. She has no real conflict, no character beats, no arc. This is because through some unfortunate writing decisions, Season 2 is pretty squarely focused on a specific set of characters – and even fewer of those characters are granted a fully explored, completed character arc.

It all culminates in her Doomsday villain arc – a moment that can be logically explained from both an in-character perspective and a meta-perspective, but unfortunately, it’s not justified from a technical writing point of view.

Niki burning down the L’Mantree is her “Ra’s Al Ghul’s reincarnated wife”-moment. It’s a big statement that put her character on the map for a large part of the audience again. It was a striking visual. It could not be ignored.

Most of that was because it was a stark departure from her characterization in Season 1. Now, such a departure doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. The problem comes in when

a.) The full potential of the character in their previous narrative role had not yet been fully or even partly exhausted

b.) It cuts into an on-going character arc and drastically changes its course

c.) It’s not foreshadowed or developed properly.

And most of those are true for Niki’s character. She was not necessarily underdeveloped but underexplored in Season 1 and had no consistent storyline going on in Season 2. She was a witness to Tommy’s trial, but that was never worked into an on-going storyline for her. No matter how much we retroactively pretend like this turn to villainy, this breakdown, was brewing deep inside of her – there was no foreshadowing.

The reason, why I said it’s understandable from a meta-perspective, is that the content creator Niki Nihachu had a self-admittedly hard time getting her foot in in Season 2 – because Season 2, for as much love as I will heap upon Tommy’s and Dream’s storyline, was a pretty messy.

So, the villain arc was not well foreshadowed and Niki’s turn was developed, but what happened after she was in it?

Niki in Season 3

Well, unfortunately that problem of an inconsistent storyline never really went away for her. In the beginning of Season 3, she hatched her wagons with Jack Manifold, which was a pretty big tonal shift – from darkly tragic to cartoonish villainy.

But as Jack kept developing his character in that lane and following up on big plot development with corresponding character moments, Niki again just … vanished. She then changed gears again, joining the Syndicate – a great idea if only the Syndicate actually streamed together and developed a storyline and group cohesion.

As it stands right now, Niki’s character exists in the negative space of the fandom imaginations. We are given some scraps and good character moments – her sleeping in a jail cell, “I started baking again”, her secret city – but those moments never coalesce into a full-fledged storyline.

Her character’s journey is still as fragmented and underexplored as it ever was. I really hope that – with Wilbur’s revival and the new character conflict that seems to arise from that for her – she manages to finally get the foot in and get the storyline and dynamic arc she deserves.

[thesublemon]

planning ≠ coherence

I talk a big game about liking coherence in art, and it’s probably clear that I have an apophenic tendency to enjoy textual interpretation. And this might lead people to think that I have a preference for carefully planned and plotted art, or that I look down on the messy and improvisational. But this is actually almost the opposite of the case. Not because I don’t really like coherence, but because artistic coherence is something more complicated than planning, and isn’t even necessarily possible to achieve with planning.

The thing about improvisation, is that at its best it’s about finding the choice that feels right. I listen to jazz more than any other kind of music, and one of the reasons I like it so much is the exhilaration of someone landing on a musical idea that simultaneously makes a song feel bigger and more complete. A solo isn’t fun if it’s just a bunch of disconnected ideas (similar to how whimsy isn’t fun if it doesn’t also “work”). It’s fun if it picks up on the things that the other players are doing, or ideas that showed up earlier in the song, and then makes them feel like they go together. Even if they “go together” in the sense of being coherently discordant, eg repeating ideas that don’t work multiple times. If beauty is fit, then the joy of improv is finding fit in unexpected places.

This goes for narrative too. In long-running stories like comics, book series, and TV shows, much is often made about whether certain choices were planned from the beginning. If things were planned, that’s a reason for praise, and if things weren’t planned, that’s a reason for derision, either towards the showrunners or towards people attempting to interpret the work. Say, “This plot point only happened because an actor wanted to leave the show. Therefore it has no meaning to read into.” But making things up as one goes is not what makes a story lose its plot, so to speak. Making things up is only a problem if the things the artist makes up don’t go with what came before.

In Impro, a very excellent book about the craft of improvisation, Keith Johnstone calls this process of making-things-go-with-what-came-before “re-incorporation”:

The improviser has to be like a man walking backwards. He sees where he has been, but he pays no attention to the future. His story can take him anywhere, but he must still ‘balance’ it, and give it shape, by remembering incidents that have been shelved and reincorporating them.

Johnstone is big on the idea that satisfying narrative depends on a sense of structure, and that reincorporation is one of the most important tactics for creating structure. To paraphrase him, a story where a character runs away from a bear, swims across lake, and finds a woman in a cabin on the other side, and “makes passionate love” to her has no structure. It’s just a series of events. Whereas if the bear then knocks the cabin’s door down and the woman cries out that it’s her lover, then suddenly it feels like a story. Because not only has the bear been reincorporated, it has been linked to the woman. From this perspective, if a story has no sense of reincorporation, or new developments don’t make sense with what came before, then it will feel incoherent, no matter how planned out it was.

I also keep thinking about Paul Bouissac’s discussion of gags and narrative in The Semiotics of Clowns and Clowning. He explains that what makes a scene funny is not whether it strings a bunch of gags together, but how those gags are organized. To use an example from the book, it’s one thing for a clown to pretend to hurt its thumb, and ask for an audience member to kiss it. It’s another thing for it to keep hurting different parts and then finally hurt its groin and act scandalized at the idea that someone might kiss it. Bouissac calls this sort of repetition “anaphor”:

Anaphor is one of the main tools of textual consistency. In linguistics, it designates the use of pronouns or any other indexical units to refer back to another word or phrase in the text. It links together parts of sentences and bridges the grammatical gaps between clauses, which is a consequence of the linearity of language. In rhetoric, anaphors are repetitions of words or structures that build up the cohesion of discourse and create momentum toward a climax. In multimodal communication, words, gestures, objects, or musical tunes can play the same role by reminding the receiver—that is, the spectator in the case of a performance—of signs and events produced earlier in the act.

One of the things that fascinated me about Farscape as a teenager, was that in contrast to other scifi of the time, it made no pretenses of having been planned—unlike say, Babylon 5. Or even shows like The X-Files, Lost, or Battlestar Galactica that gave you the “feeling” of a plan whether or not they had one, or were capable of following through. Farscape felt incredibly coherent, both in terms of theme and plot, but this coherence came about purely on the strength of the writing’s ability to ideate and then reincorporate. It would take someone’s weird costume idea, like the villain having glowing rods that screw inside his head, and snowball that into a whole storyline where the villain is a half breed of one hot-blooded race and one cold-blooded race, and can only stay alive by thermo-regulating the inside of his brain. And then decide that his vendetta against the hot-blooded race has motivated his obsession with the protagonist since the first season. Yet these twists never feel like “ret-conning” in a pejorative sense, because it all feels narratively and thematically sensible. (Unsurprisingly, making the show was described as “more like improv jazz than plotting out a symphony”).

None of which is to say that I dislike planning or polish, either. Stephen King, as a so-called “discovery” writer, famously writes off the cuff, without outlines. As he puts it in On Writing:

You may wonder where plot is in all this. The answer—my answer, anyway—is nowhere. I won’t try to convince you that I’ve never plotted any more than I’d try to convince you that I’ve never told a lie, but I do both as infrequently as possible. I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning; and second, because I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible. It’s best that I be as clear about this as I can—I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves. The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow (and to transcribe them, of course).

But his best stories feel like whatever bloat might have been generated from this narrative improvisation has then been pared down to what that improvisation was really getting at. And I can’t lie, I get a particular joy from reading or watching something and feeling without a doubt that the artist is in complete control of my experience. It was one of the most gratifying aspects of rewatching The Wire recently: the feeling that the little meanings and foreshadowings I was seeing in each choice were almost certainly intended. Nothing is more satisfying to an apopheniac than feeling like the patterns you see are actually real. And nothing is more annoying than a story that tries to pull some sort of reveal on you (“Dan is gossip girl!” “Angel is Twilight!” “Rey is a Palpatine!”) that doesn’t make any sense because it wasn’t intended from the beginning. Just because those characters existed in the story before, doesn’t make it good reincorporation. So if a story is a story because of structure, then if the choice is between a planned structure and no structure, the former is almost certainly going to be better.

Point is, it’s not really the process that matters. All creativity is improvisational in a sense, because all creativity involves making things up. What matters is how dedicated an artist is to the integrity of their work. If a writer has carefully planned their whole story out, with every twist and every theme clearly in mind, but can’t adapt if they start writing and find out that something they planned doesn’t actually work, that’s one kind of failure mode. The narrative equivalent of designing a perfect castle and then building it on a swamp. On the other hand, if a writer tries to go with the flow, but can’t reincorporate that flow, then that will be another failure mode. To the extent that I respond to improvisational art, it’s because improvisational art is often more attuned to these questions of whether something is moment-to-moment right. But what matters, above all, is the rightness. That’s what defines coherence. Whether there is a sense in the work that it is oriented around something, and whether the choices contribute to that something.

[blackjack-15]

The Puzzle is Just the Italian Language — Thoughts on: The Phantom of Venice (VEN)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Like with all of the Odd Games, there will be a section between The Intro and The Title called The Weird Stuff, where I go into what makes this game stand out as a little strange.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: VEN, RAN.

The Intro:

From the French-inspired streets of New Orleans, Nancy jumps on a plane to Venice and is caught up in international espionage, theft, a mafia ring, and a cast of hostile suspects living in the same house as her.

Sounds a bit like my first semester of college, honestly. Minus the whole “Venice” and “international espionage” parts.

Coming directly after CRY, VEN isn’t quite as thick with atmosphere, doesn’t have any of its philosophy or thematic elements, and is really only famous for being set in Italy and for the fact that they hired four voice actors for our main cast sans regular characters (Colin, voiced by our good ol’ boy Jonah Von Spreecken, counts as a returning VA), but hired 6 distinct VAs for the singing gondoliers, most of whom the average player will never hear.

Yeah, VEN is kind of that type of game.

There’s a lot that makes VEN the trippy experience that it is – more on that immediately below – but nearly none of that makes VEN as confused as it is. Nancy’s hired by a foreign government – sort of – but there’s also a love line – sort of – a roommate story – sort of – and some touristy stuff like overpaying for flowers and gelato.

Taking place overseas, VEN might have been mistaken for a Jetsetting game if it weren’t for the fact that every bit of the game is permeated with the sense that nothing was quite thought out, nothing quite flows together, and there’s no emotional response in anyone – including the player.

That’s not to say that there’s nothing enjoyable about VEN; it’s one of the most highly memed games, in fact, with a catsuit, horrific fashion choices, and little laser roombas all making up the most memorable meme material (and that’s not even touching discount Justin Timberlake and his slides of seduction). It has strongly-painted characters (even if there’s a touch of the caricature about them), the return of recurring characters, the first appearance of a semi-recurring character, poisoned chocolates…it’s almost like someone tried to do STFD, but with a sprinkling of spies and Italy thrown in for good measure.

VEN can be a lot of fun, but it’s also a grind a lot of the time; the required puzzles can be ridiculous, for example, and, in a twist for Nancy Drew games, there’s a puzzle for everyone to hate, no matter if you dislike stealth games, card games, speed-reaction games, or even language puzzles.

Which brings us to the biggest problem with The Phantom of Venice: the common puzzle thread, the thing that keeps recurring, the ‘mission statement puzzle’…it’s just the Italian language. The game hinges on the idea that the player won’t know any Italian (or any Romance language, honestly), and that’s where the majority of the difficulty in the game (barring bad hand-eye coordination) comes from. It’s not a good thing at all, and it brings the entire game down with it.

Well, it has a little help. Let’s talk about the Roomba in the museum, shall we?

The Weird Stuff:

There’s a lot of things that are weird about VEN, no getting around it. But there’s one solid thing that makes it…well, Odd in the way that the other Odd games are qualified, and that’s this one simple fact:

This is a Hardy Boys mystery, with Nancy clumsily inserted in instead of Frank and Joe.

Think about it; called in by a foreign government, espionage, nearly drowning, contacts in the government and police force, an Italian crime ring…these are all things straight out of a Hardy Boys novel, not a Nancy Drew novel. There is a Nancy Drew book titled The Phantom of Venice, true enough, but this game doesn’t bear any resemblance to it besides, well, Venice itself. You could swap out Nancy with the boys and the whole game could go on, minus the whole ‘keepsake necklace from Ned’ thing, and depending on what you ship, even that might fly under the radar.

And no, I didn’t forget the dancing in a catsuit thing. Pure comedy right there.

Nancy’s a homegrown detective; most of her cases are ‘small thing spirals into bigger thing’. It’s not that she doesn’t deal in espionage, at times in foreign places, or stumble upon a crime ring. It’s just that that’s not the type of thing Nancy’s called in for, it’s the type of thing she trips over halfway into a lower-stakes mystery.

The Hardy Boys, however, because of their father’s contacts (in the novels) and their position in ATAC (in the games) are exactly the kind of people that work with police chiefs and security experts and foreign spies and the like. It’s very nearly their bread and butter. Which is why I have a wild but not out-of-the-way wacky sorta-serious theory. Bear with me:

This game was designed as a Hardy Boys game, and Nancy really was clumsily inserted in with a few weeks to spare.

At this point in history – the far-behind time of July 2008, as the Great Recession was descending, the fury of an election year was coming to a head, and you couldn’t go to a supermarket or clothes store in America without hearing OneRepublic tell you that it was just a little too late to apologize – HER wasn’t doing badly, per se, but they certainly weren’t doing as well as they could have been. They weren’t that far from having had to majorly upgrade their engine for a rapidly changing technological world, and there seemed to be no end in sight. HER had plenty of staff change-ups coming because of new sponsors, but weren’t making enough simply with what they had.

Put simply, they needed a carrot. And what better carrot than the fan-favorite Hardy Boys?

There are two Hardy Boys games put out around this time: The Perfect Crime and The Hidden Theft. While neither one was done by Her Interactive, there was a HER Hardy Boys game in the works: the DS masterpiece Treasure on the Tracks. The audience for a Hardy Boys game was meant to be young boys/teenaged boys, but the side audience expected was fans of the Nancy Drew books and games.

So while I know logically that Phantom of Venice was just the latest in a  line of ‘adulted-up’ Nancy Drew books (and games), in my head it makes much more sense to say that it was supposed to be a Hardy Boys game meant to promote Treasure on the Tracks and HER got nervous and pulled the plug, stuffing their erstwhile teen detective in instead.

The Title:

As far as a title goes, The Phantom of Venice isn’t a bad one; you can tell it comes from the ‘hotter and sexier’ Nancy Drew books, and as a collection of words, it works rather well. It’s an evocative title, giving us our location, our crime (‘phantom thieves’ are common as a type of thief), and doesn’t say too much else, so as to not spoil the mystery.

As a title for this game, however…well, so little of the actual game deals with the Phantom that it’s rather non-indicative as a title. By the time you’re 16 Scopa games deep and are wearing a sparkly red dress with a cat mask and sneakers around Italy, you’ve pretty much forgotten about the Phantom and are more worried about exactly what happened to the pigeon you used as a messenger and why exactly flowers and gelato cost so much for 2008.

The Phantom of Venice just…deserved a better, more cohesive, more…well, phantom-y game than it got. That’s all.

Now, onto the mystery!

The Mystery:

Nancy’s been called in by the Secret Italian Police because a thief has been stealing art.

No, really, I’m being serious.

Sure, Prudence Rutherford has a hand in getting her called in, but basically Nancy goes from small-time cases, sometimes getting her name in the papers, to called in by the Italian Secret Police.

Caught up at a house where no one likes her (understandable, given that she just Appears one day, forced on the Ca’s owner, Margherita Fauborg, and her residents at the Ca’), Nancy soon becomes embroiled in a mystery most foul when she discovers ties to the art thief – or thieves – right around the Ca’, poisoned sausages and message-laden chocolate boxes, and shades and shades and shades of tiles offered by the Ca’s resident nerd.

Soon, Nancy is juggling police contacts, heists, Scopa games, and the impersonation of a world-class spy just to give the Italian police a hint as to who might be stealing Venice’s greatest artworks. It gets personal, however, when the Phantom Thief himself shows up, stealing Nancy’s locket which she’s just been given by Ned.

Oh, and did I mention that the whole thing is told in media res? Yeah, very, very weird choice right there.

Honestly speaking, the mystery isn’t…bad, per se. It’s got solid bones – art theft, mysterious thieves, romantic location, interesting-seeming suspects, some spy shenanigans. The problem with VEN’s mystery, largely, is that there just isn’t any cartilage to connect those good bones. Without something to hold it all together, it just kind of falls apart – exactly like a skeleton without cartilage.

Simply put, there’s a lot of mystery, but no plot to carry the mystery along.

The Suspects:

Beginning with Margherita Fauborg, the tanning-obsessed matriarch of the Ca’ Nacosta, seems like a good place to start. Dismissive of Nancy, tourists, and Nancy being a ‘tourist’, Margherita prefers to stay on top of her house tanning the day away rather than take part in any shenanigans.

Having Margherita not be a member of the ring was almost as inspired as having Helena lead it; she’s not nice, does suspicious things, is entirely self-centered – but she’s not a villain, nor does the game really pretend that she is for more than a second. I really like characters like this in the Nancy Drew games, who are honestly just People not enamored with the teen detective, but aren’t villains just because of that.

Also, the story of her husband’s death is just incredibly hilarious.

Her half-ward, half-employee Colin Baxter, on the other hand, is anything but dismissive of Nancy. He’s part of the ‘kinda crushing on Nancy’ club, but is Far less beloved than any other member of that club. It comes from his inherent creepiness, criminal record, and love for tile slides, I think.

Colin, as a suspect…well, he’s just there to make the numbers add up. It’s a shame that his largest utility is to show Margherita’s slightly unscrupulous nature, but he should have been kept as perhaps a figure that Nancy could call to get the story, rather than an in-person suspect.

The other person staying at the Ca’ is Helena Berg, fulfilling the HER mandate for having a German villain in their European games. Having Helena be the mastermind of the ring is a pretty good plot point, honestly, as I expected the first time for her to just be part of it, and to have that be the Big Surprise.

She’s also one of the few villains who promises revenge on Nancy and/or is still out there. I know it would have been Way too soon to have Helena be the returning culprit in RAN rather than Dwayne, but honestly she was a better candidate for it. While any hope of a good ND game (and mostly any game, honestly) is pretty far from me, I always hoped one day Helena would return in all her platinum blonde glory.

Enrico Tazza is our most encountered (kind of) and outwardly suspicious suspect, but he’s not exactly…well, scary. He makes Nancy-as-Samantha play a card game with him, then disappears, despite being the Preeminent Villain Face for the first half of the game.

I do love Tazza, however, just for his presence in the game. He’s cartoony, fun, well-acted…he’s just great. And as a potential villain, he’s great too! You’re never meant to doubt that he’s a ‘baddie’, you’re just meant to go along for the ride. Excellent.

Finally, Antonio Fango is the most prominent suspect that you’ll ever completely forget the name of, due to his lack of screen time despite being the Italian Police’s favorite suspect. He has a whole convoluted backstory involving multiple colleges and degrees, but really he’s just the communication go-fer for Helena’s theft ring.

As a villain…well, Fango does his part, but due to being a nigh-unseen suspect, he’s really just not very memorable. He’s like most of the ring – necessary to establish the numbers, but other than that, a non-entity.

The Favorite:

Despite the plot holes wide enough to steer a gondola through, there are a few things that really make VEN stand out.

The first is Samantha Quick; originally a stage name suggestion from Simone in FIN, she shows up as an actual character in VEN, albeit only by phone and shadow. Her pissed-off phone call to Nancy is a highlight of the game, especially as she ends with the vaguely threatening line “say hi to Ned for me”. Her shadow at the end in Colin’s window is the final clinch to make SQ a personal favorite of mine, and her presence (and the feeling of her presence, which is sort of different) is a high point in the game.

The location of the game is another plus; not so much Venice, but the Ca’ Nacosta itself. It’s a wonderful ‘home base’ location for any Nancy Drew game, filled with light, staircases, and pretty impressive stonework given that just a few short games ago, everything looked like it was animated out of melted gummy bears.

My favorite puzzle(s) are the chess puzzles, honestly. I just kind of like chess puzzles to begin with, and it’s a nice respite from forcing pigeons to do your bidding and avoiding various foods.

My favorite moment in the game is honestly the Samantha Quick shadow, but if I had to pick another moment, it’s where Nancy implies that she’s stripping for money, and Ned just replies that he’ll be really glad when she’s back home safe in the States. It’s such a random, hilarious thing to happen, and Ned’s complete underreaction to the idea of Nancy earning money in such a way (as she makes it sound way worse than it actually is) is what really sells it.

The Un-Favorite:

There are some un-favorites as well, however, that drag down the game to the place it currently resides.

The first is…well, the location and the means used to get Nancy there. As much as I have no problem with Venice, this attempt to open up the world makes little sense when you consider that there’s no way the Italian Secret Police would hinge their hopes on a small-time 18 year old American detective, no matter how highly Prudence spoke of her.

The jumbled plot (when there is a plot, at least) is another point against VEN; the writers just didn’t know what to do with Nancy being in Venice, and so just…didn’t do anything with it.

I also dislike that this game happens in media res. There’s no real reason to do it – and it makes any actions that the player takes that’s slightly apart from the ‘main plot’ – gondola rides, ice cream, looking at slide after slide after slide – seem incredibly out of place and borderline inappropriate. At the very least, if the Hardy Boys were part of the game, they could be yelling her name as she began to drown, which would give a sense of urgency that’s missing from the confused opening.

My least favorite puzzle…well, that brings me to a huge problem: every puzzle in this game is based around the fact that it’s in Italian, and they expect no one playing this to even have an idea of Italian (or any romance language). It boils down to this: the puzzle is just the Italian language, and they have nothing else up their sleeves. I don’t have a least favorite puzzle, because apart from a select few, they’re all the same puzzle, wrapped in slightly different clothing.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Phantom of Venice?

Coming off of CRY, we’ve now had two games with two (or three) player characters, so that’s what I’d start with doing. Include the Hardy Boys, who have been called on by the Italian Secret Police because of their work with ATAC. They’re helping the mystified police track down this ring of thieves when Nancy mentions offhand that Prudence Rutherford is recommending a stay at a Ca’ in Venice whose owner owes her a favor (as a treat/vacation). Upon hearing this, the Hardy Boys ring her up and ask her help, as they’ve stalled out. They’re not allowed to come into physical contact with Nancy (to save money on animating them/Nancy), but they want her to investigate from her end, as she won’t be suspected at all.

The real reason the Italian Police let the Hardy Boys get her involved, of course, is that they need someone to impersonate Samantha Quick, and they’re having a rough time with their Joe-in-a-wig tests. They need an American who can convincingly pull off the act, and the brothers mention Nancy’s stints undercover. Desperate enough to grasp at anything, Nancy’s officially in.

That along would help beef up the plot, as suddenly we have an actual police plotline with the Hardy Boys (playing as one or the other, it doesn’t matter, or maybe both with different ‘jobs’ to do as one or the other). Diving the suspects is a good idea too; Nancy would take Helena and Tazza as her primary suspects (of course, only Tazza would be the ‘primary’ at the beginning), while the Hardy Boys handled Fango and his side of the ring.

The final puzzle (with the flashlights and such), especially, makes more sense as a Hardy Boys sort of thing. Nancy can snoop around the market and the Ca’, discovering clues as to Helena’s guilt and such. The Hardy Boys take down the ring, but Nancy takes down Helena.

I would also give Nancy a better reason to be undercover at the dance club. It’s a weird little minigame to be sure, but if it’s gonna exist in the game, there should be a better reason. Even better, take it out and have her solve puzzles – something other than the Italian Language, mind you – in order to get money from the police or something.

(Even better, take out the money thing, as someone helping the Police and pretending to be a spy should not be or appear to be short on funds.)

The last big change I’d do is to take Ned out (sorry, Ned, but there’s really no reason for you to be in this game) and swap him for Carson. Carson really should be in a few more games than he is as it stands, and this is a great way to bring in the fact that…well, Carson can’t be entirely Comfortable with the direction that Nancy’s life is going, even if he is proud of her.

Most of the time, Nancy’s family and friends are just used to say “and she’s ‘normal’ and loved and supported even though she’s never home”, and I think using them to establish her character and the stakes is a far better use of these pre-existing characters.

[iatheia]

EDA reviews Part 5 - books 38-46

Previous part 1, 2, 3 & 4

38) Casualties of War - a lovely story. In form and in function it is pretty much identical to the previous story, and even reveals pretty much the same info verbatim. The plot is similarly nothing outstanding, from ~5 minutes in you can tell pretty much exactly how it is going to turn out. That said, it has a much better atmosphere than the Burning, and Doctor’s characterization is also much stronger. Nice and relaxing, if a bit gory at times, and veering off towards supernatural by the end. 8/10

39) The Turing Test - Wow, these stories keep getting better and better! It is overwhelming and exuberant. Only a handful of books have even attempted to get anywhere near close into the Doctor’s psyche as this one has. Moreover, it has multiple narrators, and all three have a very different relationship with the Doctor, you get into the different facets of his persona, multiplicity of his character. You have a dashing and breathless romantic whose mere presence sweeps you off your feet, a reckless hero, an enigma, at the same time, there is a rather selfish and cruel streak as well. He is a manipulator, someone who knows more than he should and willing to use this knowledge to achieve his aims, willing to play people against each other and show a side of himself that they would be most accepting to see. It is never to the degree of Seven, this behavior is all Eight through and through, the core of his characters never sways, it’s just viewed through a different lens. The previous novels have established these facets, but more on accident, due to lack of consistency between different writers, picking one and going with it. But this is the first one I feel they were actually explored in full, though, certainly, there will be other stories to tackle this in the future as well (Caerdroia in particular comes to mind). An outstanding story through and through. 10/10

40) Endgame - Hot off the heels of the previous one, another fun story - or, at the very least, something that would have been a gem if it had managed to sustain the energy it had at the beginning. Doctor’s claustrophobia and depression were very poignant, and, as much as I loved Stranded already, it does make me look at that story in a new light with a newer appreciation. And, on top of that - this book is funny, the Doctor evading spy agents with ease is the comedy of errors. That said, in the second half there is too much runamock it’s a bit repetitive, not very well organized, they needlessly cross the ocean so many times, the situation at a given location is resolved the second the Doctor shows up on a scene, and it all ends in deus ex machina. The authors note says that the original draft was submitted unfinished, and boy does it show. Still, I had fun with it. 8/10

41) Father Time - It is hard not to notice though that some of the novels come in pairs (or trios). The Burning and the Casualties of War had a lot of overlap. Turning Test and Endgame were both based on political intrigue. And now, Endgame and Father Time, both feature some mysterious entity that know the Doctor from before, with him not knowing who they are. They are even called similarly, “The Players” and “The Hunters”. When these overlaps are so close to one another, it does rather stick out. This ark is not the first time this happened, obviously, there have been a number of stories before that makes you pause and go “wait, you’ve just done this in the previous book, too”. It’s probably more to do with how quickly the books are released one after another, so as the writers discuss some ideas, they end up being in several places....

That said, the first third of the book had me singing its praises. After going through the five stages of grief, and battling against the depression of the previous novel, the Doctor is finally reaching acceptance of his situation, and possibly nurturing hope for the future. It’s exactly the type of a fluffy story I have a weakness for. But then... you have a time skip, which gets all the pacing torn into shreds. Not only the conclusion of the first part is too abrupt, everything falling into pieces as if by accident, but also, none of the things that happened in the first part (or most of the characters that were introduced) matter for part two. It turns into a chess match play by numbers, moving characters across the board almost without any transition in service of “plot”, without much of consideration for their head space, keeping everyone rather ooc. The change in visuals is very abrupt - it’s hard to accept the Doctor as a millionaire business consultant living in a grand mansion, new family situation or not. It’s not just at odds with his bohemian persona, it also begs a question, if he is so famous, what do the UNIT and Torchwood are doing about it? And also, *sigh*. You have a sixteen year old girl, who, in the previous chapter, just been ten. And you decide to spend the next two chapters on little else than musing how “she hasn’t been interested in sex, even though she is SO HOT”, only to decide that she is interested now, actually. It comes across more than a little fetishistic, and the story continues to follow her around with the male gaze. I’m not here to follow sexual exploits of minors - not in a Doctor Who novel. It is utterly unnecessary, doesn’t add anything of value to the plot, not character driven, and made me lose pretty much all of the good will I had from the first part of the story (and I had a lot of it, because the start of it was basically perfect). In the third part, it just turns into a discount Taken story, somehow managing to lose any cohesiveness and suspension of disbelief, and fizzles out in the end. 4/10

Amnesia watch: #7. It’s a bait and switch - the Doctor was just pretending, but I’m counting it anyway.

42) Escape Velocity - I wonder, how much sponsorship did various fast food places paid for this novel.... 

And we are back with Fitz. I didn’t really say it before, but it was really rather a dick move leaving the Doctor all alone for over a century. I mean, it worked, narratively speaking (more on that later), but, still, in an option between traveling through space & time BUT leaving them alone for that long, without any idea who they are, without any network of support, letting them slowly go mad, only being there for the fun bits, versus staying with them to help them through it all, you are kind of a bad friend. Sure, Compassion was in the driver’s seat, but Fitz didn’t exactly protest all that much, did he? And why 20th century earth? If the conditions for Doctor’s maroonment was that he had to stay somewhere for over 100 years while the TARDIS repaired itself, then any other technologically advanced era that didn’t have two world wars would have sufficed? And, psst, Doctor, your adopted kid has a space armada. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind giving you one ship that would allow you at least space travel, you didn’t have to spend last 11 years on Earth - you could have went traveling, TARIS in tow on that ship, and only checked in at the deadline.

Also, I get it, memory loss is a traumatic experience, and the Doctor isn’t human, and there is a sense of wrongness. But, he has lived on Earth for over 100 years. In that time he had more memories and experiences than any human alive. After a while, this entire thing of “I don’t know who I am” should start wearing a bit thin, don’t you think?

This rant aside, the book is a bit play by numbers. A lot of unnecessary runaround, traveling from London to Brussels and back several times for no particular reason. A rather boring “aliens invading earth” plot that left me checked out for a vast majority of it. Nothing bad about it, but nothing stands out about the plot either. But, it did have several heartfelt emotional scenes - the long awaited reunion, seeing TARDIS interior again, the finale. They were fairly brief, and it’s a bit of a pity they weren’t savored for a bit longer, instead letting the plot get in the way, but the little that was there was nice. 7/10

43) EarthWorld - I was hoping to enjoy this book a bit more than I ended up, I usually am quite fond of Rayner’s works, but I guess it is one of her first books. It’s a bit monotone, landing on the side of quirky, whether it was suited for a scene or not. Also dwelling on the past quite a bit, invoking the imagery of Unearthly Child, War Games, Greatest Show in the Galaxy in a rapid succession, for no specific reason, and then dwelling for quite a long time on several previous novels in a not entirely organic way. Instead of using this as an opportunity so start afresh now that we’re finally back in the TARDIS, it feels like it is focused more than ever on recapping how they got here, especially as the previous novel offered a way out by letting Fitz forget most of the previous “ark”. There were a lot of lovely character moments - but some of it did feel overly gratuitous. Still, it’s a decent book, even if it doesn’t quite reach full marks 8/10.

44) Vanishing Point - Easily the best Steve Cole novel of the ones I’ve ever read and/or listened to. This is the fresh start to the team adventures that I was hoping for. The alien world is interesting, with great worldbuilding (which is actually kind of rare in the novels). A lot of exciting imagery. The characters are a joy to behold. Not just the trio, but the secondary characters too. The first half of the book is basically perfect. It... kind of fizzles out in the second half, never really delivering on its set up in an entirely satisfying way.

A big part of the difficulty of suspending disbelief, though, was Fitz’s leg. I twisted my ankle once. I could barely walk for several days afterwards (so it having happen at a beginning of a trip was Awful), it took months for it to fully heal, and even now it feels more wobbly than the other one. And a colleague of mine ended up getting a special boot, because she keeps twisting her ankle (always the same one). Fitz had twisted his ankle, and then he was shot in the leg. And he is running about mountains and waterfalls almost immediately. 8/10

45) Eater of Wasps - You have to give it to Baxendale, he has a very particular style. Everything described so masterfully you couldn’t help but imagining every single detail, like painting a picture before you. Even though a significant portion of it is body horror that is described exactly as lovingly as the British countryside. Never before has the title been this appropriate. Very careful in setting up the conflict and tension between the protagonists. 10/10

46) The Year of Intelligent Tigers - This story is just nice. Another one with incredible visuals and incredible feelings behind it, exuberant and overwhelming, like a hurricane. The ending is particularly strong. This is peak Eight - a force of nature, alien and unknowable, and yet, you can’t help but being swept off your feet. Stories like this one is exactly why he is the platonic ideal of who the Doctor should be.

Overall impressions so far: This was like a breath of fresh air. The “stuck on Earth all on his own” ark was not only beautifully executed, but it was also badly needed. The last time I was complaining that few novels actually did anything with Eight - he would react to the plot, but never really be affected by anything. And at the heart of it was the issue that the writers, through trial and error, did come to a consensus about who he should be, but rarely took time to actually get into his head - they started out somewhat flat-footedly, and then got swept up in other things. Here, though, they were forced to slow down and focus his undivided attention just on him, what makes him tick if you break him down to the barest essentials - so even after reuniting with the TARDIS and the companions, his portrayal is all the stronger as a result. Rather than merely reacting to the world at large, he is now an active participant.

The companions are great. There is nothing particularly special being given to Fitz to chew upon, but his presence is always welcome, especially with him being as mellow as he has been back in Autumn Mist. What is it about the Doctor that attracts so many companions with an acute case of praise kink, I wonder? Anji is also interesting, and I love seeing what’s being done with her. She slots in perfectly, delivering so sorely missed snark Compassion had in her pre-Shadow of Avalon outings, all the while having a rather unique relationship with the Doctor - acknowledging his eldritch horror moments, being one of the few who does stand up to him. Especially after the last couple of books, I’m curious to see where this goes and how it continues to build.

The books themselves are a significant step up to what was there before, which got pretty joyless for a short while, alternating between mediocre to awful. In this batch, tough? Sure, there are some weaker offerings, but even there there is at least one stand-out scene that makes the book. Even if the plot isn’t exactly the most revolutionary thing in the world, it is being made up with solid character work. Honestly, for any new readers I would recommend just starting with #37 Burning and going from there - at least so far.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend full series review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (sixty-one of sixty-one).

What is the average percentage of female characters with names and lines for the full series?

43.18%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Thirty-eight, so, more than half.

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 50% female?

Twenty-one, and a few of those were 60%+.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

One.

Positive Content Status:

Ultimately, disappointing. There are definitely good pieces in there, and bad pieces too, and by the end I mostly felt too cynical about the way most of the good pieces were handled - as perfunctory, noncommittal brownie-points grabs - to be very impressed by anything. I think the show spent more time rejecting the branches of feminism that it didn’t want to be associated with than it did celebrating any branches it did want, and at the end of the day it had less progressive commentary to make than it thought it did (average rating of 3.01).

Which season had the best representation statistics overall?

Season four, in every category but the positive content, for which it scored average.

Which season had the worst representation statistics overall?

Season two dropped the ball on the percentage of female characters, slipping below 40% for the season average (and turning in that singular episode under 20%). 

Overall Series Quality:

If only it were as consistent as its Bechdel passes - unfortunately, it’s an absolute mess. I wish I could pretend that the rollercoaster of quality was a deliberate metaphor for the experiences of the show’s lead, but the show never has a strong enough handle on itself to pull off a feat like that; Crazy-Ex Girlfriend was rife with problems from the jump, and even as it resolved one thing (ditch a bad character here, finally achieve a less confusing narrative tone there), it always managed to wander off into some new mistake. The overall gives the impression of being poorly planned, and the show never settles down with itself or its characters in order to tell a cohesive story (hence the lack of payoff on almost any character arc). It’s a shambles, and while I did variously have a good time, by the end I was glad to be rid of it.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Look, it’s no secret that this show caught me at a bad time. As I have pointed out, I have been pregnant for pretty much the entire duration of the viewing experience, and due to the various ups and downs associated with that, it took me something like seven months to watch a mere sixty-one episodes. I will readily admit, this show was not a good fit for me, possibly not at all (it’s...not my usual flavour), certainly not at this particular time in my life. I haven’t been very forgiving, and while I don’t feel that I’ve been unreasonable, I will allow that under different circumstances I might have enjoyed this show more. I did enjoy it, really, more often than it feels like I did on reflection; the bad taste that the show left for me, far too often, the irritation, the boredom, and the sense of unearned superciliousness I sometimes detected in the writing, it all left a stronger impression than the good, genuine moments, the insightfulness, the laughs, and the originality. There was more in the show worth seeing than what I feel when I think back on it. It wasn’t that bad. But, at the end of the day, I still don’t think it was very good, either.

(p.s. since writing that previous paragraph, I had a baby and many weeks have passed. This is not the ideal way to review a show).

I don’t know what was going on behind the scenes on this show - what they had planned from the jump, what was off the cuff, what changed, how much time they had to incorporate change into the story, etc - and I don’t really care to know either, since we are here to consider the product that was delivered, not talk about how it came to be that way. I don’t know if a colossal lack of fore-planning is the big flaw at the heart of this show, or if it’s just that what was planned was so basic it gives the impression of being half-baked. At any rate, I think a lot of the inconsistency in tone and quality and plot movement and narrative purpose can be traced to a lack of planning; the impression I get is of a ‘wing it and see what happens!’ approach which did not work for them at all - having everything locked down from the start isn’t always a good storytelling model since it leaves no room for improvisation as the narrative develops, but grow-as-you-go doesn’t work if you don’t have a strong sense of your moving pieces and their purpose, all you get is a disconnected shambles. It does not appear to me that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend ever had an overarching plan for where it was headed, nor did it establish enough complexity in its players to pull off an unplanned narrative. I feel like a broken record and I’m not gonna harp on this any longer, but the moral here is that you don’t need to have everything figured out in a story when you start, but you do need a trajectory, and for the love of God, don’t just figure out broad strokes of who you’re taking on the ride; figure out the two-fold why. Why is this character here, and why does it matter? Too few of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s characters had good answers (if they had any), and that’s how you end up with such lacklustre or shoe-horned character conclusions. Even Rebecca didn’t end up with a good answer to the second why?, and that’s just sad.

ANYWAY, there are frankly too many angles I could come at in how I felt this show failed, and as I said early, I don’t think it was that bad, plus I think I’ve railed at it enough that I am just repeating complaints - I told myself I should try to talk about what the show did do well, but I find I’m a little stuck on the subject; everything I liked seems to have some failing attached to it. So, I’m gonna just try and list the good stuff without equivocating - I’ll run with the idea that I already wrote the complaints part elsewhere, possibly many times over. The good things: Josh Chan was everything that a ‘perfect guy’ character should be and never normally is on anything else that plays with the concept; Rebecca’s BPD was often extremely well-handled and a lot of their best work went on doing justice to that part of the story; they brought Valencia around quite successfully to make her one of the more enjoyable characters on the show after a crappy start; Darryl’s bisexual awakening in season one was handled way better than I’ve ever seen a show handle that kind of thing; White Josh existed; Paula was a refreshing change from the usual best-friend/sidekick archetype; sometimes the show had something meaningful to say on the feminist front; Father Brah also existed; there were some great musical numbers; the show definitely offered some things I’d never seen before; Rebecca’s home decor was pleasing; there was that big crocodile plushie...ok, look. This show wasn’t for me, we all know that. I feel a little bad about the way the reviewing process went (up to and including this one) because I know I was distracted and had significant breaks between episodes/seasons way too often (and even now I am holding an upset baby and typing one-handed; it’s not conducive to good evaluation). There was definitely proper analysis that I put in the ‘I’ll get to that’ pile time and again for this show, only to forget it completely when I finally had the time to write anything up; that said, I still don’t think this show would have gone over well with me under different circumstances - better, perhaps, but not well - and that’s because it has a LOT of flaws. A lot. Fun idea, poor execution, and it’s not the baby that thinks so. It was an interesting ride and I am sorry I couldn’t appreciate the good bits better, but it’s time to go now.

[niennavalier]

Okay, belated Star Wars thoughts under the cut; no particular order, just as I think of them. Possibly some unpopular opinions, I dont really know, I'm not all that active in the SW fandom. So maybe I'll get roasted alive but...eh, whatever, this site is somewhere between an void and hell anyway.

Also SPOILERS BELOW (OBVIOUSLY)

[[MORE]]

Okay, so first things first: I enjoyed episode 9. A lot. It was really fun to watch, and just talking in terms of my experience in the theater, it was fantastic. It was so much fun to see the old crew back, all of those appearances were basically like happiness shots in the arm. It was really very cool. The Palpatine reveal and everything around it was pretty damn epic for the obvious reasons. And I absolutely loved seeing the trio bantering and arguing and passing each other - I always love stuff like that. I swear, just give me hours of good character interaction and I'll be happy. Kylo and Rey fighting together/him using the blue lightsaber was also some cool shit and basically like "yaasss heres the payoff for the entire trilogy let's fucking gooo"

Oh, and I need to mention that little droid that Rey fixes. That little guy was adorable and I want merch for him and I will not hear otherwise. (The droids are always great in all the movies fight me)

Also Zorii and Jannah. Badasses, loved watching them and the way they got to interact with the main cast. Just...wanna spill all the love for them in this sentence.

But there are a lot of other things I have to say about the movie - especially the more I think about it and the trilogy as a whole. Dont get me wrong; I still really loved watching the movie. There are just...certain things that feel like missteps or missed opportunities?

(Not counting how badly Oscar Isaac wanted Finn and Poe to be boyfriends, which I just discovered is a thing. And reminds me a lot of anytime anyone mentions Julian Bashir to Andy Robinson and his response is always "oh Garak wanted to have sex with him from the start". Which I literally love so much, this man is a treasure, and I'm glad that apparently the same thing is happening here. And it's not that I'm not gonna talk about it here cause I dont think Poe and Finn should've been boyfriends, but I'm pretty sure Oscar Isaac has much more to say about it than I do)

Gonna start where I always start when I have problems with writing: romance. Because IMO badly written/unnecessary romance can ruin any good story real quick. I'm talking about the kiss at the end. I'm not saying this to bash on the Rey and Kylo shippers. Generally, I dont care what you ship so long as you dont start harassing everyone else; I care even less when it comes to this fandom cause I just participate in it so little. So this isnt me bashing on the ship itself or the fans, but I just think that, in the context of the movie itself, the romance was really poorly handled. To the point that I saw the scene going that way and all I could think was "oh god please dont kiss, I'm begging you". And well...we all know where that went. But I just never got a romantic vibe from the two of them in terms of what was shown on screen. The chemistry always felt familial, at least to me, across episodes 8 and 9 in particular. I dont know if that's just the chemistry between the actors or what, but the tension between them never struck me as romantic - more like two people desperate for someone who understands the chaos around them, not lovers.

Again, granted, maybe that's just the way I read stuff, especially considering I really appreciate movies that don't feature romance arcs. I'm not sure how it read to other people, and I'm not gonna bash on the shippers who like it. I may feel like JJ Abrams didnt write a convincing romance - or just stuck the kiss in there at the end to fulfill some plan from episode 7 that didnt actually pan out - but I have no problem with the ship itself, or the people who ship it. (Because at the end of the day, this is all fiction, and I couldnt care less how anyone chooses to interact with it)

(And this isnt an entirely rated point but because I've seen it around:

In all honesty, I'm starting to think that the romance thing was just a symptom of a bigger problem with this trilogy: it doesnt feel cohesive. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson had two separate sets of notes and just refused to actually look between them. Two separate sets of ideas that they were too stubborn to compromise on.

And I have a feeling (at least, talking to my little brother, who definitely feels this way) that a lot of people are pinning this fragmented feel to the trilogy on Rian Johnson and The Last Jedi, but I honestly don't think that's fair. Because, and here's the unpopular opinion: I really don't think Last Jedi is that bad. At least, not bad enough to deserve all the flak it gets.

Won't get into that entirely here because that could be a whole separate post, but that's my opinion. Sure, it's not perfect, there are definitely a lot of parts that are pretty irrelevant and not really necessary, but that's true of everything. Frankly, its biggest problem was that it was written for the wrong audience. Which is a major problem, yes, but taken for what it is, it's perfectly decent. As I said before, I could write a whole thing on this movie and why it's not that bad (because I have my brother's points as to why it's terrible for me to argue against) but overall, my reading of 8 is that it's a movie meant to introduce wider ideas and concepts to the universe - particularly this very gray and murky area of morality and character - through stories that are closer to the characters and tied to harsher realities of war. Things aren't always black and white, people are complex, sometimes our heroes can be gravely wrong in ways that aren't glamorous.

Frankly, it feels somewhere between a super deep indie movie and Star Trek (particularly DS9, at least to me, because I love when that show gets to twisty moral stuff). So yeah, wrong audience, yet he decided to stick with his storytelling despite that. No matter I personally might fall into the audience that movie resonates with, it wasnt gonna resonate with most of the fandon.

Again, Last Jedi is far from perfect in other ways too, but it sets up some great ideas that I was really hoping to get some closure on. Honorable mention here is when Rose saves Finn when he's speeding out to sacrifice himself and because of the desire to save the people they love, which I always end up likening to the "we dont trade lives" sentiment. Mentioning this cause my brother always complains about it, but I was thinking this would be one of those virtues that separate the good guys from the bad guys and ultimately allow good to triumph. Yknow, sorta like how Voldemort's lack of understanding of love contributed to his downfall, to liken it to HP. I was under the assumption that would be the concept at some turning point in the climax, but...guess not.

Big one though, which was actually a pretty big disappointment IMO, was the whole neutrality argument, the existence of a grey area. The most interesting thing from Rey and Kylo's scenes in 8 was the notion that the Jedi and Sith could be left to die, and the two of them would essentially find a way separate from those two sides, walking a path down the middle. I know I'm not the first person to bring this up, especially because of how the Force just...works. That the scales need to be balanced. And so, given that, to have the Jedi always destroy the Sith - that's not balance. Give it a few more years and the same problem is gonna happen; if there are Jedi, there will be Sith and war is gonna break out. That's hardly resolution, so neutrality is the way to go. And, personal opinion - I loved that this ended up in 8. It's just a lot more nuanced than "good vs evil, good is victorious" and brought in new ideas to this universe that I really wanted to see explored.

But that just...never happened. Sure, Rey has that yellow lightsaber at the end, but it's really very little more than the barest hint of lip service to that entire concept. Because it's never built on throughout the movie. Kylo's insistence that they look for a different way turns into a demand that she basically become his Sith queen. Which isnt playing with the gray area - it's more firmly dividing light and dark. And as she's fighting Palpatine, he's all the Sith, while she's all the Jedi; doubt that needs further explanation. Sure yeah, she's dealing with the revelation of her bloodline throughout the movie, but that interaction with the dark side is very different than in 8; she's afraid of it (a character arc I love, dont get me wrong), not lured by it. The Sith are very clearly evil, and despite her family, she comes to embody the Jedi as a whole. The opposite of what was laid out in 8.

Which actually just makes her choice to take the yellow lightsaber make even less sense? Because...she has no reason at all to turn away from the Jedi and every reason to keep using the Light side. The only possible reason by that point is if she knows about the balance and makes that choice intentionally to prevent the rise of a Sith lord. But that choice is never shown, so I dont give that a pass. It just feels like the lamest nod to something from 8 - no buildup, no explanation, just there because it technically should be.

And that fucking sucks. What a waste. Puts so much space between these movies.

The romance might be another aspect of that - 8 didnt really give me a strong romantic vibe, and then 9 tried to benefit off of buildup of romantic tension that just wasnt there. And that romance isnt the only other one. Just the existence of Palpatine at all? Like, awesome plot yes, but not at all foreshadowed. The banter between the trio at the start? One of my favorite parts to watch, but it comes out of nowhere, and I guess we just have to live with the idea that all of the development happened off screen. Lame. The return of the fucking helmet? Fuck, i actually have more i can say about the way i interpreted the helmet, but this is getting long. So point being: it's like we just got zipped right back to episode 7 all of a sudden and didnt even get a symbolic moment of him losing the helmet in 9 (at least, not that I remember).

Really, on the whole, JJ Abrams basically did the beginning of 9 such that most of 8 could be made irrelevant. Because that's how I felt throughout the whole movie; like 8 didnt matter. And I know a lot of fans are honestly happy with that (so maybe if was actually the right choice on that front) but god does it make the whole trilogy clunky. Literally nothing flows.

And I think that's my main problem with the trilogy as a whole - or, rather, with the production behind it. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson were just so goddamned married to their ideas that they wouldnt budge from the story they wanted to tell. Like they put their individual creative visions above the quality of the story as a whole. Like they weren't willing to deal with any changes that they didn't put into play themselves. And the trilogy suffered for it.

Which is really so obnoxious to me. Because it is very possible to be flexible and improv and incorporate other ideas into what you already had; just look at D&D. That's the job of a DM. You can plan everything out perfectly, figure out the story you want to tell, decide how you want everyone to interact with your world, but the players will invariably fuck those plans over. And you just have to roll with the punches. But beyond that, those changes can be for the better, because those are ideas you never thought of, and incorporating those makes for an even richer story than anyone expected. All because the people involved are willing to see where the story naturally takes itself.

Just wish these directors could understand that.

(Also...what was Finn gonna tell Rey? I mean...? This is honestly the strangest thing about the movie because it literally felt like the writers just...forgot they ever had this plot point after halfway. Which just feels like sloppy writing, and I feel Poe when he seems to be really curious what Finn wants to tell Rey. Because...me too!)

[fyrapartnersearch]

And your next line is...

Strike a pose!

Hello, the name is Aylo and I am a dedicated on and off role-player with a tendency of writing original stories in the hope that one day, my own vision gets pushed out into the world. But that dream is still a far away concept as most of my works are still in the making. Since I am still on summer break, I’ve got some time at my hands that I’m interested to fill it with some juicy writing. 

Roleplaying is one of my greatest hobbies on the side! I enjoy it greatly as it gives you the opportunity to build a world and gripping plot with a partner. Also, a little about me before dive into it. You must be at least 18+ of age when you want to start original roleplay with me, just to be upfront and honest with you. I am in my twenties, thus I have no quarrel, or rather much prefer, mature adult themes. I accept anyone, but they have to be willing to fill some of these categories mentioned down below. What I expect is a decent (if not, very good) grasp on grammar, the ability and will to write creatively and shoulder half of the plotting and responsibility as well as the passion for roleplaying. Of course this should be seen as a fun way of passing the time and inspiring one’s muse, but I really like to invest… I wish for my partner to take equal initiative. 



This request is a bit of an unusual one as I am targeting a fandom that you may have or have not heard about. 
Currently I am on the hunt for someone who would like to start a JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure themed RP with me! Yes, as odd as it sounds, but the series had captured my heart in the most bizarre way (I couldn’t resist, apologies) and I simply fell in love with this odd, quirky world of JoJo. I started binging the series a year ago but now, I really became invested and grew to crave for an experience in writing it with a partner!

Regarding which era of the JoJo’s we could take this, I am fairly open, though I have yet to watch Part 5. 

Since the world of JoJo is so vastly open and brimming with possibility, there’s no exact limit. Unless of course, the characters are overpowered, then we might have a problem. However I’ve rarely encountered cases, so I wouldn’t worry that much about it. I have a strong penchant for including original characters and ideas that can be added to the pre-existing plot. Also very happy to expand on the given worlds and open to AU’s. Okay so I am a really big nerd when it comes to the supernatural, mysterious, urban myth and fantasy. Love combining those given elements with organised crime, complex characters, cataclysmic events and dark schemes that all unravels as time goes on. JoJo is a perfect breeding ground for it all.





Which JoJo is the best JoJo?



In my opinion, I love all of them <3

Just to be frank here! 
I am going to list all of the parts I am open and willing to do, down below:

JoJo: Phantom Blood (Part 1)


JoJo: Battle Tendency (Part 2)


JoJo: Stardust Crusaders (Part 3)


JoJo: Diamond is Unbreakable (Part 4)

Now I know there are seasons of the series that I’ve yet to read and watch, but there is so much of the world already, I am perfectly content with focusing the story on those four! 

 Writing: 3rd person perspective. My writing is wide-ranging and flexible, which means that frequently, word count will go up 1000+ per reply - though it highly depends on the given situation and partner. Quality over quantity as they say - but why not both? I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. My partner should have a basic grasp on grammar, punctuation and somewhat of an interest in knowledgeable writing. I also double! (preferably, but we can always discuss whether it makes sense for our roleplay our not.)


What it entails:


Alright, so you are writing with some of mature age. I have 11 years of writing experience when it comes to the game. This will be a fair warning that this request is not for the faint of heart. There will be violence, swearing, gore, intimate scenes, uncomfortable subjects, drama, conflict and other dark themes included within the story. I have few limits but I will respect the boundaries of my partner, so do not shy away from telling me. Just so you know, I won’t fade to black or skip out on the nitty gritty. Go big or go home. Interests: My line of interests are very dynamic when it comes to genres. I love conceiving my own lore inside a stories, be it an original or a pre-existing story. Gothic fantasy among others are one of my favourites. I am not opposed to tapping into some science fiction, action, romance, crime, action or thriller genres, in fact I encourage it. Inspirations for me are Lovecraft, Hellsing, Blade, Underworld, etc. As for the fandom inspired RPs, I am more than willing to bend some rules and be a little indulgent. World building and sharing the burden: You should be active and help me shape the world around our characters. Even if we discuss many things during and before the roleplay, how we wish for things to play out and take its course, I am always happy to be surprised with a secret of my partner’s character I didn’t know before. You don’t need to lay out all your cards on the table… keep it a little mysterious and suspenseful. Just enough so we can work with the ideas, but not completely kill off the suspense. Characters: I write canon as well as OC characters. Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely sufficient. Whatever floats your boat when it comes to visualising your character and their backstory, I’m on board. Characters should be written as opulent, flawed, unique, talented, heroic, villainous, spiteful, angry, and everything in-between figures. In other words, don’t be scared of making them ‘human’, even when they are non-human. Romance: Openly play and accept characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might be more adept with this one. If the chemistry of two characters compel me, I will ship them no matter what! When it comes to sexual scenarios and intimacy (intercourse, foreplay, all that jazz). I encourage erotism, but always in a tasteful, sensual manner (that goes for romance as well). The passion must be felt through the screen, even if it’s just a mere description of someone’s deep train of thought. Content: Drama, violence, implication of sexual content, metamorphosis, symbolism, action, romance, pretty much everything is a-okay. I am unbothered by certain subjects that may or may not be uncomfortable for the general public. Roleplays are fictional stories and we best keep viewing them as such. If there are things you are uncomfortable with, name them and I shall respect those boundaries. But don’t be surprised when suddenly one of our characters bites the dust, or gets tortured. It may be difficult to write and read, but it is all part of the story and furthering the plot. My roleplays imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture among other things. But I also greatly endorse beauty, serenity and placid moments, scenes or characters. I love it when it comes full circle… everyone- and everything has a beautiful and hideous side. Both should be embraced like Yin and Yang. Communication and friendship: OOC-chat friendly! I love meeting new people and making friends and as we all know, communication is key. Plus it strengthens the compatibility between us. Communication is the alpha and the omega. If there is anything that bothers you, or if you think you are left out in some way (be it a mistake on my part or if we’re both at fault here), don’t be frightened to tell me. Really, it won’t be taken personally since I know that we all slip up every now and then. We’re only human after all. It is also completely sufficient if you only type out a few messages per week. I am super chill about it. It doesn’t bother me re-writing a scene to fit the narrative more. If there are mistakes, they can be corrected - just to get that out there. We can always exchange opinions and see what would benefit the story most. I will also voice my opinion should something arise that could be bothersome. Partnership: An active roleplayer is wanted without a doubt. Can’t do the thinking for two now. Let’s row this boat together Limits: Subject matters I avoid are pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, vore, scat, furries and various other bizarre fetishes. Also no one-liners or text-talk messages. The sentences have to be cohesive, coherent and decently structured. 
 
I live in CET central Europe. My response rate varies throughout the weeks, depending on my schedule. 
If I should hit a hiatus, I will let you know as soon as possible. I understand when you are busy as well and won’t be able to respond, though I highly appreciate if my partner does disappear without notification. At least give me a heads up on what’s going on so I can adjust and put the roleplay on hold if needed! 
Mediums I roleplay on are email and google-docs. I also have Discord in case for OOC chat, but I rather much prefer email at first because Discord can be somewhat messy from time to time.

I prefer if my partner messages me first on email, giving me a brief description of themselves, their cravings as well as ideas. That way I can see if we’re compatible and if it bears any potential. 

Message me here:

EMAIL: aylosreverie@gmail.com Hope to hear from you soon! Lots of love!





Sincerely yours, Aylo

[hawkeyebabe]

Unpopular Opinion: FMA Live Action Was Not Good

Now wait a minute! I know you’re upset. It seems that most people on this site + in this fandom rather liked it. And that’s great! I do want people to enjoy it.

But let me tell you why I didn’t. Spoilers ahead.

———————

I work in LA as a freelance film editor and I love love love movies more than I love almost anything else in the world. Not that that matters, but I’m just saying I pay rent by working in video! So I’m not COMPLETELY speaking out of my ass, I’m just speaking as both a film lover and a FMA lover.

Buckle up we’re goin’ in.

There were things I liked!

Dean Fujioka as Colonel Mustang

I thought he was one of the best things about this movie. First of all I could stare at his physical face for hours like yikes, I think I’m in love with someone I don’t even know. And he’s an incredible actor! His delivery, his facial expressions, everything was great. I loved him. He was perfectly cast as Mustang. And fuck he’s so hot. I’m sorry. I love him.

Ryôsuke Yamada as Edward

Also pretty talented! He had the impulsiveness and brashness of Ed in the series, and he managed to pull off the fight choreography and emotional demands of the character. Which brings me to...

(Most of) The Fight Choreography!

It was impressive and almost always realistic, there weren’t too many cheesy punches (which are a common fault in adaptations or lower budget fight movies), and everyone involved totally pulled it off. 

The Photography Value

There were several sequences where I was like, dayum, that was a cool camera move. Some scenes were paint by numbers, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just average. But there were some scenes that were pretty cool! And they definitely put effort into making things like visually interesting, so to me, it shows that they did care about the film! It wasn’t just a cash grab. I respect that.

Roy’s Fight With Lust

It was awesome. The fire looked amazing, Lust looked amazing, Dean looked amazing (fucking always good god), and the music and the EVERYTHING, it was intense and it was great. Not perfect, not revolutionary, but great.

Alexander

Good fucking dog

The Costumes

There wasn’t one single outfit that I hated. They did a great job with that, a really great job. The military uniforms were spot on, they didn’t look cheaply made whatsoever, Lust’s dress was beautiful and seductive, Envy’s get-up was perfect (although he looked/acted mildly too goth), and YUP. It was good. I also liked how they showed Riza in her classic black high-necked shirt. Even though it didn’t make cohesive sense for her to have taken off her jacket in that scene but anyway.

Fucking ROYAIIIIII

At least it was THERE, like, it wasn’t nearly enough for my shipping heart, but it was there and it was subtle and I loved that. I actually didn’t want a Royai kiss (I know, execute me) because it wouldn’t have felt true to their story. The way they interact in the series is so subtle and drawn back, that throwing a kiss into this one movie (that doesn’t expand on a ton of things) would have felt cheap and rushed. I like what they did, at face value. The characters weren’t expanded on at all, but for what they DID give us, and the fact that they included hints of Royai at all, I really appreciated that. Roy and Riza commonly communicate through glances and not words, and they showed that when Riza finds him at the end of the battle, and she looks at his wound then up at him, and he nods to ease her. Not one word was exchanged. Yes, A+.

See? I’m not a total asshole. There were good things. But man, there were bad things too.

I wanna precede this with something; I understand why people like this movie. It’s content! We are practically dying at this point for more content. And it’s two hours of content!! We will eat. That. Shit. Up.

But it’s kind of like reading a mediocre fanfiction story, isn’t it? At least it is to me. Like I see the potential and my thirsty ass is parched for something, anything, so I will read this mediocre story. I will watch this mediocre movie.

But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been great.

First of all, they BOOKED it through the story. There were WAY too many plot points. YES, I know that it’s a hard challenge to condense a whole series into one movie, but you know how you fix that? Don’t do that.  

There is a right way to introduce characters, introduce a world, a story, the good guys and the bad guys, and three full acts. You don’t have to cram a whole series into one movie. Pick a few plot points, one of them being a major one (for the final act), and focus on those. Leave the end hanging open, wrap it up, but don’t wrap it ALL up. Then, interwoven within those plot points should be character development, and THAT’S what should drive the story. Not a thousand episodes compacted into two hours, but the characters, the very interesting, very unique, very original, very entrancing characters. And you know what?

They did not focus on the characters.

In fact, Al had like, ZERO screen time?! This wasn’t Ed and Al’s movie, this was Ed’s movie. And that is absolutely not true in the series. The two of them are equally important, equally layered. I understand there wasn’t a very large budget to appropriately include Al in every scene with Ed, but they could have figured something out. To just push him off to the side is just kind of insulting and it made me a little angry. 

Ask any Hollywood producer, director, screenwriter, whatever, “What makes a good story?” Every single one of them will tell you the same thing:

The characters.

It doesn’t matter that each and every character had a full arc and fleshiness in the series, that doesn’t mean that that automatically translates to the movie, because it doesn’t. In the movie, they introduce what began this whole adventure as if it were first being introduced, which means the same should apply to the characters.

If you show this film to a first-time viewer, fresh eyes who’ve never seen FMAB, and ask them, “What can you tell me about Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye?”

They’ll say,

Who is Riza Hawkeye?

Because I’m pretty certain they never say her fucking name.

And then you’ll explain it’s the Lieutenant to Mustang, and they’ll say, “Oh! Well he’s the Flame Alchemist, he’s hot (or at least they should say that), and the Lieutenant seems to be his assistant or military partner, and I think they love each other.”

But that’s it. That’s all they can tell you about these two main characters. That whole sentence is ALL the movie tells you about these two. That is not what I consider character development, that’s called sloppiness. Yes, we the fandom understand there’s more to them, but this movie is supposed to be standing on it’s own, it’s not supposed to use the series as a crutch. 

When Ed and Al are suffering after discovering what Tucker had done? And Mustang gives them some tough love? You know what could have been so simple, so easily done, and gone miles in terms of character relations?

Hawkeye giving Ed her damn coat. That would have taken five seconds to show, and it would have shown Hawkeye’s compassion, Ed as a child even though he’s seen hell, Mustang watching her and showing a glimpse into their dynamic, LIKE. LITTLE THINGS, little CHARACTER MOMENTS are SO important! And they just didn’t include things like that because they just weren’t thinking about it.

I could go into every single character and explain how none of them were done justice, but I’ll save your time. Just understand that not one character was fleshed out, Ed was the closest that came to that and he was still not done well.

UGH, real quick: You know why we were all devastated by Hughes’ death in FMAB? Because we loved him. He was likable, he was charming, he was a good man, and Hiromu Arakawa made that happen. A first time viewer probably didn’t feel anything when Hughes’ died in this movie because his little story was shoved down our throats and then he was killed. Maybe that could have been the final plot point, or at least the turning point in the second act, in another world. Give us much more time with a character we’re supposed to care about before killing him. They didn’t make his death emotional at all, whereas it’s one of the most heart breaking scenes in FMAB. This was one of those scenes that was paint by the numbers to me, there was nothing special about it. And I’m frustrated about that.

They barely even mentioned Ishval.

It was absolutely an integral, emotional, severe part of the series that made it so fucking beautiful. This series wasn’t just fun, or action-y, or heart-warming, it was political, and real, and harsh.

Two of our protagonists, Roy and Riza, are deeply flawed and deeply haunted. They are not perfect beings. They did terrible, terrible things. VILLAINOUS things. This movie does nothing for them. There is no emotional arc, there is no showing how they change from the beginning of the movie to the end, there is nothing! Characters are supposed to change, in every movie.  They are SUPPOSED to have flaw, and we the audience are supposed to see that.

How do they differ, what do they learn, what happens to them to sway their judgement? I’m sorry, but the characters in this movie are two dimensional. None of them are flawed, none of them have depth except maybe Ed because they explain how much he cares about Al what he did to save his life, but that’s it. 

This movie did not show one iota of the complexity of these characters, and I’m bitter about it. That’s all I’ll say because I could go on for awhile.

Laboratory Five.

What an intense, crazy part of FMAB. For me, that was when I officially was like oh, this show means fucking business. That’s when they really dive into what the philosopher’s stone is, and it’s when basically every character is shown hell, it’s when so much happens, and it’s the catalyst to what eventually becomes The Promised Day. 

I could barely even tell that they were in the lab in this movie. They stripped every character of that event from them, and it sucks because it was literally written for the producers of this movie right there in the series how to pull this off correctly, and they didn’t! There was incredible potential for our live-action characters, potential for Roy to be almost killed by Lust (away from everyone else), for Riza to think he’s dead and for her to break her stoicism, Al to be shredded by Lust but still trying to protect Riza, like that scene alone was integral, integral, to the telling of those three (four including Lust, her complexity of almost wishing to experience humanity) characters and they didn’t even show it. I’m mad. 

Gluttony

I’ll say one thing: when he’s told to eat all those soldiers and he opens up the artificial gate of truth in his belly and he runs at them. Like that shit had me weak. 

I’m gonna say another thing, sorry, I’m a liar, I’m just fired up. 

Don’t have the budget to make something terrifying look terrifying? Do. Not. Show. It.

Jaws is a perfect example of this. They chalk up this terrifying monster of a predator, who devours human after human ruthlessly, and they barely show him. It was cinematic genius. Can you imagine each scene showing a terrible robotic shark gnawing on his victims? No, because it would be cheesy as hell! And that SCENE! IN THIS MOVIE? WAS SO BAD! Remember when I said I loved the costumes? That’s still true except for Gluttony, he was a mistake.

The Antagonists

The antagonists are equally as important as the protagonists. A good antagonist has depth, has reason, has lapses in judgement and is written as a protagonist who has different motives. Envy and Lust are both such COOL fucking antagonists in FMAB, and are both individually explained as separate entities. In this movie they served no other purpose than to exist as the bad guys. We get a peek into Lust when she’s killed, but that would have been more emotional and meaningful if she was given more depth prior to that. Why is she doing what she’s doing? Why IS she the bad guy? Why is she the way that she is? And the same questions apply to Envy. This movie doesn’t tell us. It just tells us, “Hey, these are the bad guys. Let’s hope our heroes defeat them!”

Riza Hawkeye

I didn’t hate her, but I didn’t love her. Riza is supposed to be this total badass, and a very complicated character. I don’t think the actress they cast was bad, so I’m not blaming her at all, but I don’t think she should have been Riza. Honestly she just looked too much like a porcelain doll. Riza isn’t supposed to look breakable. I’m probably being too picky on this specific point, but I’m just so fond of Hawkeye’s character and very protective of her and I don’t think she was done justice. 

The fight choreographers set her up to fail, also. They did a great job with Ed, but they probably did jack squat with her. The writers didn’t give her any fight scenes, fine. But they did give her scenes holding a gun. And I don’t know if they spent much time teaching the actress how to properly handle a gun.

Yeah she holds it alright, but she doesn’t handle it expertly. If I’m watching a movie about the military, I expect little things like that to be believable. It wasn’t that actress’ fault, of course not, why should she know how to handle a rifle believably, as though it was an extension of her body? It was the producers’, the director’s, fault for not having someone teach her. This may come off as nitpicky, but if you want to make a great film, you make shit like that happen. Don’t show me a character who is supposed to be a master chef if they chop vegetables unevenly or don’t tie up their hair. Big things are important, yes, but little things are even more so. It shows that the filmmakers are paying attention.

The film’s score

It wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t impressive. I LIVE for movie scores so this can be more of an opinion than a critique, but I’m gonna briefly talk about it anyway.

Some of it was nice, like in Lust’s death scene, but in other scenes, it just felt so unnecessary. Like it was way too big and didn’t match the scene that was happening. So, basically, I wasn’t impressed. 

Winry Rockbell

It’s a common practice in anime to make many female characters high-pitched and over-the-top, but that’s not really something that should be done in live action films because it doesn’t translate the same. To me, her character just came off as obnoxious most of the time. 

In the series, she’s strong and tough, but still feminine. She’s young and naive, but has the upmost potential and is sharp as hell. She didn’t serve as a purpose in this movie except as Ed’s damsel in distress and that’s not what she’s supposed to be.

And that wrench she used to knock against Al’s head? Totally the worst. It looked like a Halloween prop. That can be pulled off in an animated movie or show but not live action, it just makes it look ridiculous. Like what size of a wrench is that? What would that realistically be used for? Screwing on a propeller to a fucking fighter jet?! 

The absence of the Mustang Gang 

Mustang has a following. He’s what Amestris needs, he has a difficult goal, and few see his potential, but his team does, and they risk their lives day after day for him. That’s a big effing deal. And not only does it add depth to the series, it adds depth to Mustang as a character. The Mustang Gang gives him depth. And to go along with my previous point of the characters being two dimensional, part of it is because of stuff like this.

There was a way to introduce them, introduce what they mean to Mustang and what he means to them, how they interact with each other, giving insight to how the military might be in this world, they just had so much potential and I’m bitter that it wasn’t included.

OK I’m going to try and wrap this up, I could honestly write a dissertation on what went wrong.

TL;DR:

This was definitely not the worst live-action adaptation I’ve ever seen. But just because it IS an adaptation, and adaptations hold a reputation for being bad, doesn’t give this movie lenience for being one of the better ones. 

As an adaptation? It was alright! 

As a film? It was bad. It was a bad film.

They didn’t develop ANY of the characters, they ignored their budgets and showed bad CGI/costumes when they could have enacted clever tactics to avoid the cheese, they ignored many integral parts of the series, parts which made the series so damn good, and they stuffed and stuffed this movie so full of plot points and events until it became non-cohesive and unsteady. A good film is smooth, flowing, and engaging. 

One day, if I ever manage to make my dreams come true, I’ll write the best FMA movie you can imagine, I’ll make it, and I will slay the notion that adaptations will always be mediocre. There is a way to make it good, to make it great! There is a way to make a great live-action anime film!

Burn me at the stake if you disagree with me, but these are my thoughts and I had to write them out.

Again, I did not hate this movie! There were good things. But that doesn’t give it a pass for not being great.

[shadowsong26x]

Solo reaction post!

So, I saw Solo this afternoon--generally, I liked it! It was fun, it was engaging...

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t perfect (I think, objectively, it was probably...not a great movie), but overall, especially given the production issues I know it had, it was a lot better than I was expecting?

Like--it was overall more like a string of good moments (mostly--there were a few I didn’t like) than a cohesive whole/movie. So, was it a good movie--like I said, objectively speaking, probably not. But I don’t care, I liked it a lot!

(Also, any of y’all who have seen it and/or read this without caring about spoilers, feel free to reply/reblog/interact/discuss/etc.!

More detailed review/ramble behind the cut.

So, like I said, I overall liked it, and I plan to focus on the positive. But I do want to get the stuff/moments I didn’t like out of the way first.

First--what I said above about the less-than-cohesive narrative. This made some of the pacing a little off. Some parts, especially in the beginning, did drag a little bit.

Second--and this is probably my biggest issue--I am not happy that they fridged Val. She was SO COOL and I wanted more with her and...yeah. Not...not really much else to say there other than Not Happy About That.

Third--L3′s death...kind of fell flat for me? I’m not sure why, but it felt overblown/melodramatic, rather than a moment of genuine pathos. Possibly because it was (or felt) kind of out of place, tonally, with the rest of the film. Possibly because she/her relationship with Lando needed a little more buildup for it to pay off properly.

Or possibly because I couldn’t help comparing it to K2′s death, which was just...just perfect. Can’t really top that one.

...those are the main things, I think, at least that I recall off the top of my head. Possibly there will be more after I see it again (which I definitely will)

Now! Onto the good stuff!

Lando. Just...Lando. And his closet full of capes and his smile and...basically, every time he was onscreen. Donald Glover was just perfect. Nailed it, hit it out of the park, etc.

Paul Bettany was also awesome! Such an enjoyable villain/antagonist. And his bat-dagger/brass knuckle/plasma knife things were SO COOL!

Uh. Anyway.

Pretty much anything from when they picked up Lando--the whole Kessel sequence--was awesome.

Also, that pirate girl, I loved her. I kind of wonder if there was something else in a previous draft--some more to the moment where she took her mask off? Like, when she did, and she and Beckett just stared at each other for a moment, I was half-expecting a reveal that she was his and Val’s daughter or something? Maybe that long shot was supposed to be “look a young relatively innocent girl fighting for a Good Cause” or something, but...eh, IDK.

L3 was delightful, too! And Riyo? Whatever his name was, the other member of Beckett’s original team.

Oh, I mentioned Paul Bettany’s SUPER RIDICULOUS SO EXTRA daggers, right? WELL THEY WERE COOL SO I’M DOING IT AGAIN.

Also, Han’s heart eyes when he saw Val on that battlefield.

Han’s heart eyes when he saw the FALCON!

Okay, Qi’ra--initially, I actually liked her a lot less than I was expecting to. I mean, not that I disliked her, or anything, just...she was more of a generic action movie love interest? She felt like a generic trope--the childhood sweetheart/old flame who is now working for the bad guys--rather than a real/interesting character in her own right. And, I mean, it’s an archetype I happen to like a lot, but...yeah. She did have decent chemistry with Baby Han, I’ll say that for her. Basically, I was just kind of “meh” on her. I was mostly just hoping she wouldn’t get fridged (as romantic false leads have a nasty habit of doing), rather than enjoying/being invested in her for herself. If that makes sense?

Anyway. Just--comparing that with the trailers where there���s that shot of Lando and his “hey-there” grin back to back with her Murder Walking away from the Falcon in the red cape that together were like...where’s that “cries in bisexual” gif when I need it?

(I mean, the Murder Walk in the red cape and LBR all of her super awesome 40s/50s hairstyles still appealed to my shallow bi heart A LOT).

Cough. Uh. Moving on.

Then that whole final sequence happened and it was GREAT.

Again let me mention the daggers of AWESOME I WANT THEM.

But also it was...just...just a really cool fight scene???? And then Qi’ra killing Paul Bettany with his own plasma dagger that was STUCK IN HER SWORD and...

And then. AND THEN.

Then she dumped Han. And as he’s walking out and she’s promising to follow him I’m like, “oh, honey, baby, she is not going to do that.”

There was a vague chance that she was going to die at that point--that it was a Kanan-style h/c angst drama “I’m right behind you” but I didn’t think it was going there. And sure enough it was straight-up Michael Corleone closing the door on Annie Hall which for all I’m a fan of the h/c “I’m mortally wounded and don’t want my loved one to see/worry” trope was SO MUCH BETTER.

And then she picked up Paul Bettany’s ring and took over the syndicate and suddenly I was SUPER INVESTED IN HER.

I have a Thing for anti-villains, okay. Maybe not as much of a Thing as I have for double agents/conflicted loyalties (though we did get a bit of that with her at the end, too) but still, a Thing.

And Qi’ra, Qi’ra, Mob Boss of My Heart, hit SO MANY BUTTONS, LET ME TELL YOU INTERNET.

And then she called her boss. And at first I was like “is Palpsadoodle behind this?” But the voice was wrong. But he was clearly being set up for a Reveal, but then again I thought Pirate Girl was, too, but then I vaguely remembered reading something somewhere that implied a Surprise Cameo (I’d been hoping for Hondo to get promote to a higher level of canon) but then I thought maybe it’s a Legends nod/recanonization of someone...

And then he dropped his hood and I legit clapped my hands over my mouth to keep from shrieking. I don’t even like Maul that much and yet. AND YET. (Also, he was played by both Ray Park and Sam Witwer, which pleased me! I don’t remember who voiced him in TPM but I do know they dubbed everything)

(Also, nice to know that Star Wars still doesn’t know what the hell a cohesive timeline is, lol. Although...I’m sure smarter people than me will math/meta it better, but I’m pretty sure this has to be set before he goes to Malachor, since he seems to have been in active control of Crimson Dawn for a good long while, plus Han and Qi’ra would have to be pretty young at the beginning. I’m guessing a timeframe of 10-12 BBY for the prologue? Assuming Han is ten years older than the twins, which I always thought, but one of my roommates, who generally keeps better track of this kind of thing than I do, thought he was supposed to be 35 then...Also, it can’t be any later than 3/4 BBY, because there’s that one bit in the Leia novel, which is set in 3 BBY and heavily implies that she almost meets Han three years ahead of schedule, and he already has the Falcon...eh, who cares, welcome to Star Wars where the timeline’s made up and the points don’t matter XD)

Anyway. Um. Final verdict--the ending was great, Lando was great, there were some bits that dragged/some pacing issues, some clunky bits, and it was something of a stitched-together Frankenmovie with some underdeveloped plot threads/characters, but overall I really liked it.

(Also, I really hope Qi’ra, Mob Boss of My Heart, outlives Maul and gets to run Crimson Dawn all by herself/properly some day.)

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/top-5-supernatural-episodes-might-surprise-spnfamily/

Top 5 'Supernatural' episodes that might surprise SPNFamily

Socially, we’re conditioned to ask the basics when we meet people. You know, the small talk questions: Where are you from? What do you do? How many siblings do you have? Eventually, we progress into the hard-hitting ‘getting to know yous’ of relationships, even if it’s reading someone’s words. Favorite song? Favorite book? Favorite movie? The thing is, people sometimes lie. Whether they mean to or not. No one’s favorite book is Anna Karenina; it’s just not. You can respect the book, but it’s not your favorite; you don’t revisit it regularly, it’s not a comforting blanket you burrito yourself inside. For example, my favorite song, book, and movie, respectively, are: “Just What I Needed” by The Cars, “Death Comes as the End” by Agatha Christie, and “A Few Good Men.” Have I heard better songs? Sure, as one of my best friend’s husband once said: “‘Just What I Needed’ isn’t even Ric Ocasek’s favorite song.” Have I read better books? Absolutely. Are there better movies? No. And I will fight you. My point is: sometimes I think that society, or in this case fandom culture, makes us feel as though we should choose things that we may like a lot but also simultaneously live up to some arbitrary social standard or norm, as our favorite. In Supernatural fandom I often see the same few episodes held up as universal fan favorites; episodes like “Yellow Fever,” “Changing Channels,” “The French Mistake,” “Swan Song,” and “Baby.” Maybe these episodes are your faves, but they aren’t mine; not even close. I’m not even talking about the episodes I think are the all-around best or the most quintessential (we’ll get into that in another article). I mean these don’t even make my top ten, they aren’t my go-to episodes, the ones I’ve watched the most, the ones I’ll watch out of sequence just because I want to relive the entire thing on a random Tuesday afternoon. In fact, one of those example episodes is in my bottom ten. So, which out of over 265 episodes, are my favorites? I’ll tell you not because I’m telling you that I think these are the best episodes and that you should agree (again, that arrogance will come in another article), but because I think this is a fun introduction. A way for you all to get to know me. Sin City - I’ll admit that “Sin City” isn’t the best episode ever penned, the quips are heavy-handed, and the plot is simplistic. Honestly, it’s kinda middle of the road, but that’s what makes it re-watchable without the emotional hangover of “Mystery Spot” or “Fresh Blood” (Besides, we’ll get into those episodes in a later article. What “Sin City” does have is a great supporting cast: we get to see Katie Cassidy finally start to her get bearings playing Ruby 1.0, we get a great scene at the beginning where Sam and Dean are such bratty, yet lovable surrogate children to Bobby, we meet and mourn Richie, the perv with a heart of gold, (I mean, he’s basically Dean (Jensen Ackles) without the suave or skill), and we cozy up in a basement with Casey the bartender demon who is insightful, witty, and deadly, but her quid pro quo with Dean gives us a good dose of classic cocky Dean Winchester who is also a scared little boy underneath it all. Bonus, we also get the rare unicorn that is goofy, chagrinned Sammy as he backs his way out of Trotter’s office. And anyway, if you don’t catch yourself saying “I make a mean hurricane” every time you look at the Red Lobster drink menu you are living your life wrong. Ask Jeeves - now, I’m going to stop you before you tell me that Fan Fiction is the best episode of season 10, because it’s really, REALLY not. It’s arguably in the bottom three of the season. “Ask Jeeves,” however, was a perfect play on the movie that inspired it (which is one of the best movies of all time, again, I will fight you) and was another episode overflowing with a great supporting cast with fantastic comedic timing. For an episode that was primarily a loose tie-in to the release of the Supernatural Clue game it could have gone so wrong, but instead, it went so very right. The soundtrack is stellar, the jokes and pop culture references are on point without being concussion-inducing anvils, and the mystery itself is background to the story without being disappointing. “Ask Jeeves” is a comedic romp with a nice little hit of Winchester family feelings; it’s a bread and butter Supernatural episode. Besides, Dash hunts pheasants. He. Hunts. Pheasants. Caged Heat - This is an ensemble style episode done right. We get one of the best interactions between Sam/Dean and a demon to ever grace the show (props to character actor Conrad Coates for delivering, “I know you're speaking, I see your lips moving, but I can't understand what you're saying 'cause I don't speak little bitch,” because that line is a mouthful) and from that we slide seamlessly into Meg getting the drop on the boys and Sam turning it on her in the blink of an eye because he now understands her calculating nature so well. Speaking of calculating, Sam using the the plot of Raiders of the Lost Ark to lure Castiel to him is a perfect segue into their mutually soulless tête-à-tête (full disclosure, season 6 Castiel is my favorite version of Castiel). We also get Meg taking on a pack of hellhounds, Dean threatening Samuel, Sam (Jared Padalecki) biting into his wrist to draw a Devil’s Trap with his own blood (that bloody grin is everything), Dean rescuing Meg from demon Christian. Then we get the brothers and Meg working in tandem against Crowley in perfect harmony, the fake-out Crowley death that we only later find out was all a set up between Crowley and Castiel (Misha Collins) who were working together all along. It’s an episode that works on your first watch, yet is even more brilliant in retrospect. Night Shifter - Okay, I’ll be up front, season 2 is not only my favorite season of Supernatural but one of my favorite seasons of television. Period. Even its weakest episode is still so damn good, but if I have to choose one to go on a list that is based on simple re-watchability, I have to hand it to this one. Meet conspiracy theorist Ronald Resnik; he’s that character that every procedural or genre show needs at least once a season; the one who is wholly unqualified, but still tries to be the hero. Not for the glory, but because lives are at stake and the right thing has to be done. We laugh at Ron and his mandroid ideas; Dean praises him, Sam shuts him down, both do it because he’s so close yet, oh, so far from the truth. And when Ronald gets shot (which while tragic, is gorgeously directed and edited) your heart breaks for both Dean and Ronald. You also get exactly that Sam wanted to keep him deep in the dark because the hunter life is nothing but pain and death. Speaking of impactful characters, we also meet Agent Henriksen in this episode, a character that is a perfect example of an outside POV of the Winchesters. His description of them being “dangerous, smart, and expertly trained” is so important because he doesn’t know what they really do, yet he understands who they are on a fundamental level, and while he wants to lock them up, he fully respects them as adversaries. This episode is cinematic; it literally feels like a complete movie. It’s beautifully shot, every actor brought their A-game (Dean’s little forehead punch when he hangs up with Henriksen is one of those tiny, silent details that makes a moment a moment). We get great dialogue (“I like him, he says okeydokey,” “its robot skin is so lifelike;’ Sam’s long-suffering “we’re not working for the mandroid!;’ Henriksen’s breakdown of the Winchester family that could have been clunky exposition but was instead just a smooth reminder of who they are with bonus (“yeah, I know about Sam, the Bonnie to your Clyde”). But if all that wasn’t enough, there’s also arguably the most iconic Supernatural moment and one of the top three musical cues of the show: Sam and Dean in stolen SWAT gear sneaking to the Impala while “Renegade” plays. I’ve seen this episode more times than I’m willing to admit, and I get chills at that moment every single time. Shadow - Yeah, I know, this is out of left field, but hear me out, because I think this episode is woefully underrated. First of all, we get a tiny peek into the Weechesters by way of Dean reminding Sam of his high school drama years. Not only did Dean remember Sam was in “Our Town,” he clearly went to the play to support his baby brother. We also get smart Sam AND Dean in this episode. Dean by way of visualizing the Daeva pattern in the victim’s blood and Sam using the flare against the Daeva shadow demons. Speaking of the brothers being brothers, there’s a lot to take in during this episode. Starting with them running into Meg and Dean being hurt by Sam telling her about their fight, but as soon as Sam reassures him that he’s with Dean by choice, not force, Dean slips right into teasing, wingman big bro mode. Add to that the subtle nod of trust we can infer by way of Sam taking Baby for his stakeout while Dean researches. This is an episode that on the surface is a basic hunt that ties into the now growing cohesive season throughline, but it’s actually all about family. There’s the brothers’ dynamic and the way their bond has solidified since “Scarecrow”, however, we also get to see Dean’s vulnerability when Sam naively thinks that this could be it, the end of it all, the catalyst back to “normal”, whereas Dean just wants his family together, hell or high water. There’s also the fact that no matter how you as a viewer personally feel about John Winchester, the demons know that he’s never far behind his boys; he’s always watching, always protecting them in his own way. And, of course, we get to see a full Winchester reunion complete with damp eyes, manly hugs and choked up voices. John Winchester saying, “hey boys”, the brothers saying “yes, sir” at the same time (this episode has two instances of Winsync Winspeak); John’s unspoken apologies; Dean’s face while Sam and John hug; Sam being the one who wants them all together, and Dean being the one to understand that they can’t stay with John. John mirroring Sam’s earlier words to Dean about letting go. All of this will always make me emotional. This episode also has one of my favorite horror tropes, one that Supernatural has unfortunately pulled away from in recent years: it’s creepier when you don’t see what’s after you, like the great Steven Spielberg once said about “Jaws,” what’s scariest is the “fear of the unknown.” The mechanical shark forced Spielberg’s hand, and a crazy tight budget forced Eric Kripke’s, but it worked; the shark is terrifying because you don’t see it until the end, it’s the anticipation. It’s the same with the Daeva being shadow demons and later in seasons 2 and 3 with the hellhounds. Unfortunately, in recent seasons we’ve now seen hellhounds, and, well, they were scarier when all we had were torsos shredded by invisible claws and our imaginations. And as much as this episode was packed to the brim with Winchester family fat to chew on, they aren’t the only family. We find out that Meg is doing what she does for family as well. The overarching theme of Supernatural takes form in this episode; human, demon, ghost, or ghoul, it’s always about family in some way. [caption id="attachment_52142" align="aligncenter" width="696"] Source: Home of the Nutty screencaps for all images[/caption] So, like I said when we started this, my intention isn’t to say these are the best episodes of Supernatural, merely that these are my top 5 comfortable sweatpants episodes. So, did any of your favorites make my list? Did I make you want to re-watch an episode you don’t think much about as much? Let me know.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

[faygosmayhem]

Story Time #3- Final Fantasy & Me: Part Three

Landmines EVERYWHERE: 

I love Final Fantasy XII. I also hate it with seething contempt of 10,000 scorned and angry Cactuars. When the game launched I couldn’t even let myself get excited. I was deep into a period of ‘permanent grounding’ that cut me off from the world and everything else I loved (another story for another time). I stayed that way from February to December of ‘06, miserable and only getting worse. Come Christmas my parents gifted me with Final Fantasy XII. I thought it needlessly cruel at the time because they were still holding all of my electronics hostage and I had no way of playing it, but I came to understand that in giving me the game they were also giving back most of the things they had taken. 

This time, I was also given a guide to go along with it. At the start, and probably against my better judgement, I tucked the guide away with the rest of them for use only after had gotten through the game once, as usual. I had gotten a good half-way through before I decided to take a peek to look up some information on where I could find a particular spell. ‘Just that one thing,’ I told myself as I flipped through to the index.

 Of course, as I was going through a picture happened to catch my eye. Unable to help myself, I went back to it to check if I was really seeing it correctly. The picture was of 12 treasure coffers neatly lined in rows of four along a beach, with a note beside it in big,bold, lettering warning not to open ANY of them. I read a little further and discovered that this was one of four spots in the game where opening the treasure causes the best weapon in the game to disappear forever. 

At that point I nearly threw the game out the window, who does shit like that? There is absolutely no way for that to be discovered on your own, as the game makes no mention of it anywhere. I could have continued playing as I had planned, but if the game was going to pull tricky crap like that I was going to be in for one hell of a second playthrough. So, already about thirty hours into the game I scrapped the file and played it over while following the guide, grumbling about it the whole way. Turns out there’s more than one section in the game that’s nearly impossible without help if you don’t want to spent countless hours banging your head against the wall. 

Final Fantasy XII is hard. Not only does it have a lot of complex puzzles and tough enemies, you basically have to program the AI yourself or the party is going to be completely ineffective. It really doesn’t help that the game makes you pay for those little bits of code either.  It takes a lot of repetitive grinding to get through everything, and I can’t tell you how many hours I spent looping the zones over and over for LP, and Gil. 

The story is probably the most mature in the series, and full of socio-political intrigue and complicated scientific concepts. I used to play the game with a dictionary handy so I could decipher what the hell Vayne and the Judges were talking about. The cast of characters is rather polarizing for me, containing one of my all-time favorites, Balthier the debonair sky-pirate, and my least favorite of all the games- Penelo.

 I didn’t like her character from the start, I found her voice annoying, had an unexplained problem with her attitude, and absolutely could not stand her costume and hairstyle. The true reason for my hate of her, however, is that in my version of the game, for some unfathomable reason, her AI would set off EVERY SINGLE TRAP in the dungeon- even with Libra on. I had to switch her out or control her manually to stop this from happening, and since I was doing my best to level the party evenly just leaving her alone was not an option. By the end of the game I was so fed up with babysitting her I used to kill her on purpose out of spite. Yeah, I could've saved myself the effort by just making her the leader when it was the girls’ turn to grind, I found it much more enjoyable to watch Fran walk instead- her tail physics were hypnotizing. 

Final Fantasy XII caused a lot of frustration for me. There were several times I wanted to just set it down and never think about it again, but in the end it became the game I’ve spent the most time on. The game is very long and some of the individual fights can take upwards of 4 hours (I went to go make sandwiches twice while fighting Yiazmat, about 50 million HP is a little much, don’t you think devs?), but became one of the most rewarding once everything was completed thanks to that stupid Sky Pirate’s Den feature. 

If you’re reading this and skipped XII for whatever reason when it first launched, I recommend looking into the new re-master, Zodiac Age. It’s been tempting me for a while, I was actually at the Distant Worlds concert in Pennsylvania when the information on the remaster was first leaked by the game’s composer, I just don’t know if I have the will-power to pick it up again. 

A Visually Appealing Corridor Simulator: 

After finally finishing XII in ‘07, I didn’t touch a Final Fantasy game for about four years. Not like there really was anything to touch, exactly- but that’s beside the point. During those four years my life took a rather interesting turn, and I found myself immersed more in Tabletop RPGs and MMOs than anything else. It wasn’t until 2011, a year after I left my life in Arizona behind and moved to Pennsylvania that I once again found myself as the recipient of a shiny new PS3 and a copy of Final Fantasy XIII. 

I’m very glad I was able to go into this game with very little expectation, else I would’ve ended up disliking it a great deal more than I did. For the most part I don’t hate the game, but I can understand why a lot of people do. Final Fantasy XIII mostly just makes me sad because of what the game could have been. All those beautifully designed and intricate set pieces were reduced to nothing but bland hallways because of an attempt to appeal to a larger American audience, mostly due to the fact that the game was released cross-platform for the Xbox 360 as well. 

There are a lot of problems with Final Fantasy XIII. The characters are annoying and not very fleshed out, the plot is not cohesive and almost indecipherable, and about 80% of the game is walking down a never-ending hallway, and they don’t even get around to fully fleshing out the mechanics until the game is almost over. 

Despite all of this I thought the game was OK. I was impressed by the cut-scenes (the one at the end where they all roll up to Eden during the hover-bike race on the backs of their Eidolons is a personal favorite), thought the fast-paced combat was pretty fun, and had a pretty good time making fun of the ridiculous characters. The ending was another very serious “WTF?” moment, but pretty much the whole game up to that point had been, but I do admit to tearing up when Sazh is re-united with his son. 

I was even thankful, though a bit disappointed, to find out that I didn’t even need to play the game all the way through again to complete it. That is, until I tried to do it. It’s no secret that completing a Final Fantasy game, or any RPG for that matter, takes a great deal of time and dedication to repetitive action. Completing Final Fantasy XIII, however, was the most mind-numbing endeavor I’ve ever attempted. Prepare yourselves for a rant involving lots of math, because this shit got real (I’ll set the math between lines so those that really don’t care can just skip it). 

To get one of the gold trophies, you need to own one of every weapon and accessory in the game. The only way to get most of these things in the game is to upgrade them using Gil and drops acquired from monsters. The only way to make money in the game is by selling monster drops. The item worth the most is a 25% drop from the hardest enemies in the game. Even If you execute the strategy needed to kill them absolutely perfectly, which is incredibly tricky, it still takes 5-6 minutes just to kill ONE of them, and there are only about seven or eight different spawn points for them in the game (don’t quote me on that), most of them in the same zone. 

In order to upgrade everything I needed by the time I was ready to tackle this challenge, I needed about 1.5 million gil. The 25% common drop from the monster is worth 150,000, and you need SIX additional abysmally rare drops from the same creature in order to get every character their best weapon. In a perfect world, you need to kill around 40 of these stupid things for the money alone, and I would about quadruple that value for the rare drops. In an imperfect world, there are also days where you have no luck, mess up the strategy and take too long to kill the monster, or get killed yourself and get set back. 

The fastest way I found to get everything I needed was to use the long hallway right before the final boss where one of the creatures spawns at the beginning. There”s a save point at both ends of the hallway and it’s littered with other difficult encounters that can yield some other items worth a decent amount of money if done correctly. Passing through this hallway in one direction fighting everything takes about 30 to 45 minutes. Using some easy zone-out manipulation you can fight a grand total of THREE creatures in the span of about an hour and a half. 

For the final stretch of this game I spent upwards of eight hours a day, everyday, for the span of about two whole weeks doing nothing but running down that hallway fighting the same monsters, in the same patterns, over and over again until I finally had everything I needed. This reason alone is why I will never again touch a copy of Final Fantasy XIII. 

Want More? Hell No. Well...You’re Getting It Anyway 

XIII-2 and Lightning Returns were games that served almost no purpose. Even though the end of XIII didn’t make a whole lot of sense, it was still an almost complete resolution that didn’t really leave any loose ends. Aside from the obvious ‘to make money’ there was no real reason to give us another entry for a story that most people were unimpressed and dissatisfied with, rather than making the games that were already announced that the fan base was dying for. 

There’s an optimistic part of me that wants to believe that XIII-2 was created mostly out of desire to fix the gaping flaws of the game that came before and give the fans and developers a chance to see what XIII should have been.That satisfies me, until I remember that they ended it with a cliff-hanger that needed yet another game to resolve. 

I did enjoy playing XIII-2, and was happy to finally have a more complete version of the world from XIII. What they did with the story, however, was not something I was a fan of. The plot of XIII was complicated enough. Throw in time travel, world paradoxes, and non-linear story telling, and you get something so contrived it’s not even worth trying to piece together. 

By time Lightning Returns finally graced us with its presence, I was done. I played the game for about two hours, became infuriated that the game was based around mechanics I absolutely loathe and set it aside. I didn’t even bother looking up the end of the story on YouTube- by that point I really didn’t care. I don’t think I’ll ever be desperate enough to pick it back up again. 

What We’ve All Been Waiting For:

Think back on the past ten years of your life. While doing that, remember that during that whole period, the devs of Final Fantasy XV were working on the same project. I can’t even begin to imagine what that cycle must of been like for those people, and what a triumph it must have been to see it finally on the shelves. 

It’s even harder to reconcile what we got with how long it took them to make it. The incomplete feeling of the story from XV is very hard to deal with thinking back on just how much time they took to tell it. Part of me gets it; DLC, money, also making realistic games is hard and takes forever. I absolutely understand that the developers were trying to take a new angle with the series, and that they didn’t want to get to crazy with ham-fisted storytelling like pretty much every other installment, but even with the DLC we’re still missing some pretty significant chunks of the narrative. 

Honestly that’s about my only complaint about the game, and it’s with good reason. 

I fell more in love with the characters of Final Fantasy XV than I have with any other form of media. The casual interactions and mannerisms of the four boys are so heartfelt, so real, and such a joy to watch. From that first moment spent pushing the car to the opening notes of ‘Stand By Me’ (which is now my favorite into sequence in the series), I could tell that these characters were something special. The first time I heard Ignis’ exclaim “That’s it!” after staring idly at a random sign at a diner my heart fluttered, and I was completely charmed. The first time Prompto sang the victory theme I knew I was hooked for good. 

Something about these boys just makes me happy. Not only are they all so nice to look at, but their mannerisms and interactions really make you want to know them. I really don’t understand how this game got away with having such fantastic characters in a terribly fleshed out story. While playing, I cared deeply about what happened to the four boys (and still do, as evidenced by how much time I still spend in the fan community). When they laughed, I laughed. When they were sad, so was I. When they were hurt, I couldn’t wait to get out there and ruthlessly murder the cause of it. I wanted to know everything about them, and found myself filling in my own information when there was none offered (particularly with Ignis, because that boy gets ZERO backstory). 

It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with this game, and likely will be for quite a while still. Even with the problems I have with the story, it’s still at the peak of series for me. I can only hope that in the future they fill in the holes, and we can keep the boys with us for a long time still to come. 

Well. That was a thing. All total I spent about 18 hours writing this out, and had more fun with it than I’ve had writing anything in a while. Final Fantasy is such a huge part of my life and it was almost astonishing to look back and really remember what each of these games mean to me, and why nothing will ever replace them. 

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read my long-winded rambling, you are wonderful. If you’re feeling a nostalgic as well, then I know I’ve done my job right. It will be interesting to see what else comes out of this little experiment of mine. 

Until next time

~Faygo

[jollyrogerjones]

So I just got back from seeing this, and I’m having so many feelings right now that I need to get off my chest. Because of spoilers I’m putting it all under a read more and tagging it #batb spoilers, so don’t look if you don’t wanna know.

I want to start off by saying, as with many young girls growing up in the 90s, Beauty and the Beast was a highly influential and meaningful movie for me. I was one of the girls who desperately wanted that damn library — GOD I dreamed about that library — so needless to say I was a massive nerd, and could really connect with Belle on a personal level because of it, and she always stuck with me for this reason.

Now, I’ve heard a lot of people who profess to have been influenced just as deeply by this movie as I had complain relentlessly prior to even seeing the remake about various points — in fact I think I’ve seen this movie get more flack than I have heard praise. So if you’re looking for this to be another one of those reviews, I feel I owe it to you to warn you to stop reading now, it’s not going to be one of those parties; you’ve had your fun.

I. Loved. It.

I went to see it with three other friends, all of whom favored it to various extents with the exception of one who felt let down, and I can respect all of their opinions because let’s face it — at least they went to see the damn thing before opening their mouths. 

To faceless people on the internet you don’t know it’s easy to reason that they aren’t as “passionate” as you are about something as a means to justify your displeasure, or even your enthusiasm — but I can assure you this WASN’T the case with the three people I went with. I know for a fact each of them was just as moved by the original movie as a child as I was, but perhaps for very different reasons. 

This, I feel, is an incredibly important fact to keep in mind before going to see this movie, and more importantly, discussing your feelings with other people, especially if you’re intending to take a giant steaming dump all over it. The thing you may hate about this remake may be one of the things that really made it come to life for another person, because again, they may have loved the original for a very different reason than you, and that does not mean they love it any less, or are any less deserving of their opinions or praise. 

Take for instance the corset debacle. For those of you who don’t know, Emma Watson refused to wear a corset during the movie for many reasons, some of which were feminist, some of which were her interest in not perpetuating unhealthy body images for young girls, and some of which were utilitarian and she felt fit the character better. All of which are reasons I 100% support, and personally feel are informed and flavorful decisions based on the character and story they are attempting to tell. 

Some people argue that simply isn’t accurate to the time period, and she should just get the hell over it. 

I argue it’s a fucking fairy tale. YOU get the hell over it.

Another was the dress. 

Oh, the dress… I have seen so many of you upset over this dress, and I get it. Trust me I get it. The little girl in me wanted to see the big fluffy ball gown pretty badly, and I admit this wasn’t that at all.

But what it was was beautiful if you think of it in context with the movie. 

When Madame Garderobe first clothes Belle it’s a mess — a total hodgepodge of ribbons and nonsense all over the place. This dress was very unlikely a piece in a wardrobe like that, as it was nothing like any of the rest — it was made for her, down to the little touches of gold leaf that decorated the hem. My theory, it looks pieced together and a little tattered because it was; old like everything else. I thought it was a very artistic, interesting touch. 

The other side to that is the utilitarian aspect — Belle does not stop to change before leaving to save her father. She runs. And she rides. From a logistical standpoint this costuming choice was a wise one, and the fact that she so easily casts it off is also made somewhat easier by the fact that we’re not really attached to it, and neither is she, because a woman isn’t her clothes no matter how iconic, so why not focus on the character instead of what she’s wearing shall we?

Now my absolute favorite part that made me absolutely tickled pink when I heard about it.

The Gay Subplot ™

Ok so, Josh Gad is a fucking national treasure, and anyone who disagrees can fight me right here and right now. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion except if you disagree on this point — because you’re wrong (I’m mostly joking). His role as LeFou was priceless and the absolute perfect foil to Luke Evan’s Gaston, which was more than I ever could have asked for. Those two absolutely sealed the deal for me. 

Now let me tell you, this shit was not subtle. At all. So if you fear the queer steer clear. But personally I loved it. It did not feel the least bit forced or pandering, and honestly fit the character very well in ways I wished had been more overt in the original. The times they are a-changin’, and it’s a step in the right direction at least. 

To be fair, there are also definitely parts of the movie I had minor misgivings about. The chorus acting at the beginning in the village felt very stilted and lacked emotion to me, and the auto-tuning of the singing is always a little cringe worthy, but honestly it didn’t bother me as much as I expected it to, which brings me to another point:

The new songs. They are so beautiful! The fact that they brought Alan Menken back to work on the composition of them was such a smart move on Disney’s part because it really kept a cohesive feeling with the original score while adding something fresh and exciting to the narrative for people who might tire of seeing the same movie play out that they’re familiar with. Every little change and addition made to the music and plot I feel added integrity and depth to the story that makes it even more timeless for those of us growing into adulthood, giving us fresh inspiration and thought into a classic tale that’s been with us for so long if we can just choose to see it that way.

I could really go on and on about it all for miles more, but it’s late and I have to be up early, and I’ve touched on most of the things I’ve wanted to rant about/say.

Basically my tl;dr for this is don’t try to compare this movie with the object of your childhood that you’ve put so high on a pedestal — nothing could ever touch that. Those feelings are so bound in nostalgia and layers upon layers of meaning that anything trying to hold a candle to it is immediately set up to fail. Try hard to approach this movie with fresh eyes, and let yourself rediscover the narrative for the first time — let yourself feel the magic of becoming immersed in those images and songs for the first time. Once I resolved to set aside my expectations and comparisons I fell into it, and I was utterly swept away; I was a little girl again.

:Note: When I met Paige O’Hara at the Virginia Film Festival back in October 2016 she had nothing but glowing things to say about this movie and its actors. 

Beauty and the Beast 2017 — 100% Belle-approved. 

[bifmovie-blog]

Before I Fall - An obsessed book fan’s movie review

I run a Twitter fan account dedicated to Before I Fall (BIFMovie) and last month, Open Road Films invited me to the world premiere of the movie at the Sundance Film Festival! It was a crazy, awesome, mind-blowing trip. One part of that crazy, awesome, mind-blowing trip? The movie, of course! 

Watching the movie was a surreal experience. I don’t think it even hit me that, “Hey, Before I Fall is a real movie. This is actually happening!” until I walked into the theater. Six years of waiting and imagining what this story would look like on screen... honestly, I didn’t think I’d ever see it happen! But it happened. And let me tell you... it. was. fantastic.

For those unfamiliar with the story, Before I Fall (based on the amazing novel by the amazing Lauren Oliver) introduces us to Samantha “Sam” Kingston, a teenager who is at the top of her high school food chain. She and her three best friends (ringleader Lindsay, party girl Elody, and quirky Ally) are carefree and run everything in their small world, her boyfriend Rob is desired by everyone at school, and she is due to graduate soon. February 12 should be just one more fun, party-filled day in her life. Except it isn’t. When Sam and her friends leave a party that night, they get into a horrendous car accident. The crash happens and then... Sam wakes up in her bed, terrified and confused. The catch? It’s February 12... again. Sam is forced to relive her last day over-and-over, and through this strange journey, she learns more about herself and those around her, unraveling not only the mystery of her death, but the facets of what she once thought was her “perfect life”.

Okay. Let’s start with the actors. As I was watching, I was in awe by how everyone in the cast just owned their role. Zoey Deutch IS Sam. As readers know, Sam is a tricky character, one who is not instantly likable, but undergoes drastic - and believable - character growth. The Sam at the beginning is not the Sam at the end and Zoey maps out every little moment in-between beautifully. The confusion, the anger, the sadness, the acceptance. She had this understated power and vulnerability that was amazing to see evolve. Believe me, you won't be able to imagine a better Samantha Kingston. (Special mention to a heartbreaking scene on Day 4 when Sam has her breakdown. Zoey had me mad sad on Day 4.) Halston Sage is absolutely fierce as Lindsay, but in key moments Halston brings out flashes of when this tough ringleader's armor cracks and it feels so pitch-perfect true to the Lindsay of the book. (And were some of my favorite moments from the movie.) Medalion Rahimi and Cynthy Wu as Elody and Ally, respectively, bring charm and strong wit to the roles, really making the girls' friendship feel more than genuine - it feels like a lifeline for them. Logan Miller is confident and shy in all the right ways as Kent - he's got that crucial McFuller self-assuredness, but he can also ramble through key vulnerable moments. (Basically: Kent fans rejoice.) Kian Lawley makes you detest Rob as much as you did in the book... which is a very good thing. Elena Kampouris's dramatic portrayal of Juliet is interesting and heartbreaking to watch. She's still just as damaged, but you see more of the desperation behind the emptiness. The Juliet in the party scene is slightly different than the Juliet in the book, but it was a good change and Elena sold every moment. My special shout-out goes to Erica Tremblay, who is simply adorable as Sam's younger sister, Izzy. (I dare you not to cry during their scenes.)

The technical aspects of this movie were beautiful and felt tonally on-point. Director Ry-Russo Young perfectly balances the heart and tension of the story. I found the thriller-esque moments to be surprising because I never pictured the novel as a thriller, but they worked really well and energized the plot in exciting ways. However, throughout the film Ry Russo-Young never lets you forget that this is Sam's journey and the lessons she learns are what drive the plot forward (and are ultimately what resonate with the audience). You can tell that she truly appreciates the messages of this story and has approached them with full empathy and understanding, something that really meant a lot to me.

Simply put: this is a movie that just looks great. The crew really made the most of their scenery, from the gorgeous mountain landscape to the looming fog of the forest. (Thank you beautiful, beautiful Canada!) It all came together to create a strong atmosphere, one that mirrored Sam’s own feelings of isolation. The soundtrack also added to this vibe. It is poppy, but moody, and felt cohesive throughout. The cinematography (Michael Fimognari) is beautiful. The shots, the lighting, the colors. (There is one shot on Day 2 where Sam travels through Kent’s house, panicked over the déjà vu, and ends up in the party room, her face suddenly bathed in red. I really loved that transition.)  Editing (Joe Landaurer) is also strong. There’s always a sense of urgency, especially when it comes to the accident, but events flow seamlessly into another, as if you’re living the day alongside Sam. I especially loved the effect used to show that Sam is reliving the day over-and-over on loop (shown in the trailers). Sam gets out of bed several times, but her surroundings are the same. She’s sitting in Mr. Daimler’s classroom and the world is moving on around her. Same effect, two different impacts, but equally powerful.

Screenwriter Maria Maggenti did a great job at bringing the novel to life. I was surprised at how many little things from the book made it in. Most of the girls’ banter is lifted straight from the book. The “be my hero” story is there. “Maybe next year, but probably not.” Even Izzy with Sam’s gloves is included! All of these elements are sure to make book fans squeal, but they also richly present the story to the new movie audience. 

Of course, as with any movie adaptation, there were some changes. Don’t expect the seven day narrative of the book; rather, Sam relives the day an undetermined amount of times. But don’t fret - the deviations from the novel (my favorite is Anna Cartullo, who is not in a tricky love triangle with Alex and Bridget, but bullied as a queer student in “heteronormative hell”) make sense in the context of the movie. What I was most happy to see was that those core themes from the novel were not glossed over - they were powerful and touching and I really hope the message of this movie resonates with the audience. That’s my hope - that someone watching will reflect on their own choices and make necessary, impactful changes. 

I’d say my one criticism was that I wish there were about 10 more minutes added to the film. Just to include a couple more moments from the book (ex. establishing Marian as Juliet’s younger sister) and to flesh out some existing scenes (I’d add a bit more to the end of one of the car accident scenes). I also loved all of the actors so much that I would have loved to spend a bit more time with everyone. But... figures as a huge book fan that’d be my wish, right?

Ultimately, Before I Fall was a beautiful, moving experience that I’m proud to say did the book justice. This is a story about understanding that what you do matters, in the biggest and smallest of ways, and that choosing kindness will always be the right choice, no matter how difficult that choice is. If those themes resonated with you as a reader, then you will love this movie most of all. March 3rd... everyone go see it!!!  

P.S. Happy Cupid Day!

[someguyranting1]

Why Do So Many People Love SAO? The Art of Mass Appeal

Hey! It’s okay! You are allowed to like Sword Art Online. I feel like I needed to explain that before somebody gets the wrong idea and thinks this is just me saying, “I don’t understand how somebody likes an anime that I don’t like!”

I just want to put this on the record: You’re not a bad person for liking SAO. You don’t have shit taste, and you’re not stupid. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to like this show, and, for this review, we’re going to be exploring what those reasons are because any show that can reach over a million people has to be doing something right.

No, this isn’t going to boil down to an insulting and reductive conclusion, like, “Thirsty weebs need wish fulfillment,” although I do think that is part of it for some people. This is a serious, analytical look at the series. The mechanics of mass appeal have always fascinated me, and SAO’s lacking qualities in other departments make it easier to isolate those mechanics than it would be looking at something like FMA.

You really can’t understate the impact that SAO has had on popular culture. It takes a lot of brand recognition for an American product to get a shot on network television, let alone a Japanese one. Much as critics like to downplay popularity as a measure of quality, success like that doesn’t just come down to random luck.

That said, luck is a major factor. SAO is often lauded for its great premise, but that’s only half the story. The most obvious factor in SAO’s whirlwind success is that it hit on the right premise, at the right time. When SAO came out in 2012, eSports and Free-to-Play games were becoming huge in the public eye. League of Legends had overtaken WoW as the most-played PC game of the year, and WoW’s death grip on the MMO market had loosened enough so that the landscape of online worlds was becoming more expansive and varied than it had ever been before. It was the perfect time to release any story about hardcore gaming, hardcore MMO gaming in particular, and with the Hunger Games phenomenon just starting to “catch fire” thanks to the first movie’s release, the market was hot for death game stories in particular. Add to that the exploding popularity of the then-new Game of Thrones and Walking Dead, and any series with a similar sense of lethality was bound to do well. Just look at how many articles at the time compare Attack on Titan and SAO to those two shows.

On top of that, anime was about to blow up in a big way in the West. Crunchyroll came to my attention in Fall of 2011, when they acquired the rights to Fate/Zero. I was hooked enough on the series from watching it on their ad-supported site to bite the bullet on a subscription just to get one episode ahead, and I don’t think I’m the only one. From 2011 to 2012, Crunchyroll began offering a serious value proposition by doubling their seasonal anime library, and becoming the go-to place for basically everything coming out of Japan by the Summer of 2012. It might not have been Fate/Zero specifically, but between huge series like HunterxHunter and quality niche stuff like Space Brothers and Kids on the Slope, the streaming service finally had enough content to pull in and sustain a hundred thousand subscribers by September of 2012, and two hundred thousand by March of 2013. Crunchyroll had become the service of choice for the then-niche community. SAO hit right in the middle of the surge in anime’s Western popularity, right at the point when Crunchyroll had enough content to be worth a subscription, but before it became totally unreasonable to watch everything on the service.

As one of the biggest fish in a rapidly-expanding pond, SAO both benefited from and helped spur on the service’s growth. Since it was one of the most popular shows on the service, Crunchyroll naturally put it at the forefront of their marketing push, which only increased its brand caché among anime fans and casuals alike. At this point, SAO was huge in Japan, and within the niche of Western anime fandom. It had proved its market viability enough to become a flagship title for the recently revived and redesigned Toonami block on Cartoon Network in Spring of 2013, and it was both relevant and popular enough to be added to Netflix in 2014, right in time to hype up the second season.

Anime had become a massive wave, washing over popular culture. Like 2013’s Attack on Titan, SAO had the good fortune to start riding that wave while it was still small, and go all the way to the top. The two series’ similar tone, and similar lethality, meant that fans of one were likely the fans of the other, and the cross-pollination only helped them both.

However, if good timing and an enticing premise were all it took for a show to embed itself in the popular culture, we’d be staring down Season 3 of The Unlimited Hyoubu Kyousuke right now. As much as it pains me to admit it, SAO does do some things very right when it comes to its execution that primed it for its whirlwind success. One of the biggest factors in this regard is the look of the show. A1 Pictures has faced a lot of criticisms from anime YouTubers and critics in general for the uniform look of its productions, and indeed, it can get pretty tiring to see the same faces, in nearly identical art styles, over and over again. However, that’s not going to be a problem for the casual anime fan, whose only seen a few dozen series. Their shows might look pretty similar, but they all look polished and professional, assuming they’re given enough time in production. They might not look or feel as nice as something from Ufotable, Kyoto Animation, or Bones, but they can get most of the way there in less time with a smaller budget, and that’s impressive. People like things that feel polished and professional.

If you haven’t seen a million shows like it before, SAO looks really clean and cohesive. It looks like what you expect a good anime to look like. The lineart is sharp and crisp, the characters blend with the environments well (at least, when the characters aren’t moving), and you can freeze on almost any frame and use it as a pretty decent wallpaper, which is all that many casual anime fans look for in a show’s visuals.

A1’s visual style is also very versatile. Its characters look cool, but they’re still very expressive. The girls can be moe cute, the heroes can look badass and youthful, and the adults can look old and hardened, and they all exist within the same world. Despite its “same-face syndrome” problem when put next to other A1 anime, SAO’s main cast has impressively diverse and easily recognizable character designs.

On the subject of design, while I do think that SAO would be a crappy game in real life, I will credit it for looking very visually appealing. The environments are super varied and interesting, from the flower dungeon, to the ice peak where they fight the dragon, to the trippy cave system where they find the Gleam Eyes. As VR spectacles go, this world would be a hell of a draw. The show’s visuals can really pop with vibrant colors, without looking too silly, and those can be muted down for more serious scenes without it looking incongruous with the rest of the show. SAO manages to sell moe, horror, action, and even Looney Tunes-esque cartoon comedy at times, and it all feels like roughly part of the same series.

That highlights one of the show’s other big strengths: plot variety. Because of the longtime scale of its storyline and the way that its setting creates a sort of blank slate for adventure, it can dabble in lots of different plot concepts, and even genres. One episode might be a short tragedy about Kirito watching all of his friends die, while the next is a cute story about saving a little girl’s pet and beating up some cackling Team Rocket villains, and that can be followed with a two-parter murder mystery, and after that, why not, let’s go on a side quest for crafting materials that blossoms into a short unrequited love story.

None of these individual stories have to be particularly great, hell, they don’t even have to make much logical sense because each one is so different from the last that it’s kind of fun to watch just for the surprise of finding out what they’re going to do next. Even if you really hate one storyline, you can rest assured that something new is on the horizon within an episode or two, and there’s a good chance that at least one of the many things the show tries will work for you.

Because Kirito’s character arc is about learning to open up to other people, all of those different plots feel like they’re moving the central plot forward, or at least a little, even if they’re really just filler. That results in a show that feels like it’s moving forward at a good pace. Emphasis on “feels” because if you look at the actual storytelling and logical structure of events, it’s an absolute mess. Just look at the final fight between Kirito and Kayaba Akihiko, it just comes out of nowhere on Floor 75 and it doesn’t work at all. However, if you’re just sitting down for entertainment, how a show feels to watch is paramount, and what sense it makes doesn’t matter so much.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying that it’s dumb to enjoy a show on that level. There’s value in sitting down, turning your brain off, and simply being entertained for the sake of relaxation. Analyzing anime can feel like work. For some, it is work. In SAO, it feels like at least one really important thing happens every single episode, and there’s usually a really cool-feeling action scene every two or three episodes to keep the excitement up. As a result, the show has momentum. Once you start watching, it’s very easy to keep watching without getting bored or confused. The show is consumable, like popcorn or other A1 Pictures shows like Gate.

The show suffers, a lot, when it loses this forward momentum, which I think is a big part of why even fans of the series acknowledge that the Fairy Dance arc kinda sucks. Kirito has a clear goal there, with an obvious solution in trying to rescue Asuna, which means that any diversion from that goal, like going off to fight a random guy in PvP, feels like a true waste of time. Furthermore, Kirito’s character is entirely static during that storyline. He doesn’t grow or change at all. Neither does Asuna, nor anyone aside from Suguha, and even then, only kind of. Therefore, even when the story is moving forward, it feels kind of flat.

Gun Gale fixes this problem in a kind of artificial way of giving Kirito sudden onset PTSD to get over, but it does help the story feel more substantial, and fans reacted positively to that. When it does work, even if it doesn’t actually have any idea where it’s going, SAO’s story moves forward with a bold sense of confidence and purpose.

Speaking of boldness, SAO also excels at setting a strong tone for whatever is happening in its story at any given time, particularly early on. Not necessarily the most appropriate tone, but a tone that is powerful and striking nonetheless. The monsters feel scary and intimidating, the comedy feels fun and lighthearted, the romance feels heartwarming and intimate, and deaths feel tragic and poignant. If you’re not invested in the story and characters, a lot of this can feel cloying and emotionally manipulative, but until something happens to take you out of that (like Yui’s death did for me), watching SAO is an emotional rollercoaster.

A big part of that is Tomohiko Ito’s direction. He is really good at placing the camera and cutting in a way that draws out the maximum possible emotion from any given scene. He needs to work with great source material, like Erased or Gin no Saji to really shine, but even working with Reki Kawahara’s leavings, he does a good job. The use of reflections in windows while Kirito listens to Sachi’s last message to him is legitimately incredible filmmaking.

The emotional impact of the series is further enhanced by the work of Yuki Kajiura, Tomohiko Ito’s most favorite composer, who also crafted the amazing soundtrack of Erased, as well as Tsubasa, Madoka Magica, Fate/Zero, Kara no Kyoukai, and some of the Xenosaga video games. Yuki Kajiura is one the most singularly talented composers working in the anime industry today, and it’s hard to understate just how much of an impact I think she’s had on the perceived quality of SAO. Her compositions for the show give it an air of cinematic quality, but they also feel distinctly, and very appropriately, video game-y. In particular, I’d argue that she is the primary reason that people say SAO has good action scenes. Her compositions make fights that are actually pretty stilted and janky, outside of a few sakuga cuts, feel incredibly bombastic and slick. When SAO’s music kicks up, it gets your pulse pounding, and it’s hard to resist getting caught up in it or even humming along to that memorable hook. Watch these fights without the music, and they kinda suck.

Kajiura’s abilities don’t just improve the action scenes, though. Her work is an integral part of that emotional roller coaster effect, heightening the emotion of each scene and connecting the emotional beats so that the shifts in tone feel less jarring than they might otherwise feel. She makes the scary scenes feel scary, the sad scenes feel much, much sadder, and the romantic scenes feel powerful and moving. That brings us to the big reason that I think people love SAO.

Most of the things I’ve talked about so far aren’t totally unique to SAO, and though they are important factors in getting people interested and keeping them invested in what’s going on, they’re not enough on their own to make people care so much that they’ll tell me to kill myself when I badmouth it. To evoke that kind of emotional response, a show really needs to get its audience to say, “Fuck yeah!”

The thing that makes a lot of people say that, myself included when I first watched SAO, is the fact that Kirito and Asuna get together in Episode 10, after several episodes of buildup where other characters notice they have a thing for each other, and it’s just really cute. That’s just not a thing that happens in anime. Even in shows with a clear OTP relationship, nine times out of ten the romance will be drawn out to its breaking point, and the characters will only hook up right at the end of the story, which isn’t just a lazy way to create an emotional arc, it’s tedious to watch.

The “will they, won’t they” is a story we’ve seen a million times, while the equally interesting story about what happens after, the trials and tribulations of actually dating and being in love, is almost never touched upon. You can justify that in a romance anime where the story is about characters sorting out their feelings and finally getting together (Toradora does that and it’s just about perfect), but even there, after a while you start to crave shows that buck that trend, like Ore Monogatari, My Little Monster, and Golden Time.

Also, with shows that have other things driving the plot, there’s really no excuse. There are few things that could really improve on Fullmetal Alchemist, but Winry and Ed hooking up earlier in the story would probably be one of them. Look at how many people loved Mikasa’s confession to Eren at the end of Attack on Titan Season 2. That was beautiful!

It’s a very pleasant surprise to see two main characters of a show like SAO commit to a monogamous relationship this early in the plot, and I think that most people who love the series do so because, in this respect, it doesn’t waste their time. This plot turn changes a lot of story dynamics, too, since Kirito and Asuna can be explicitly motivated by their love for one another, and that love can be made much deeper than the obvious mutual crushes that drive shows less willing to pull that trigger. For a story so driven by its emotional content, that one change makes SAO feel very different from just about everything else a casual fan is likely to have seen, and from what you would probably expect going into the show.

Now if you’re like me, and you think a lot about story structure and plot logic, that effect of that change doesn’t really last. Reki Kawahara is totally unwilling to abandon his harem anime nonsense, so every arc sees Kirito introduced to a new hot girl who wants to jump his bones. In terms of narrative structure, that really undercuts the importance of his commitment to Asuna.

However, if you’re just watching the show to enjoy a show, then it feels very substantial, to the point that fans get very mad at me when I call this harem anime a harem anime, in the same way that all of the deaths early on make the show feel very lethal and dangerous, so long as you don’t realize that all of the key characters have plot armor. If you do buy into it, the scenes of Kirito and Asuna being a couple and enjoying each other’s company are extremely emotionally satisfying. By the same token, if Yui doesn’t bug you the same way she bugs me, her relationship with Kirito and Asuna is adorable. Hell, Asuna and Kirito’s romance is the only part of the movie that I think really works. To get more cynical for a moment, for the segment of the audience that does use this show as pure escapist wish fulfillment, the fact that Kirito can have an emotionally fulfilling relationship with his wife, while still being chased by hotties all because he’s so dang good at video games that he’s basically invincible, those aspects only improve the show for you.

However, I don’t think that most people who love SAO love it for those reasons. I think they love it because it managed to get them deeply invested in its main characters through one very bold plot turn, and once you care about those characters, seeing Kirito be an unstoppable badass stops being eye-rolling, and starts being cool and fun. I think they love SAO because the world that it creates seems like a very appealing place on the surface to spend time in, and you can imagine yourself being one of the NPCs going off and doing something that’s not vital to Kirito’s plotline, like that guy who’s fishing, for some reason. I think they love SAO because it came at the right time in their lives, right when they were getting into anime. If you’ve seen hundreds of anime, then yeah, parts of it are going to feel played out, but if you’ve seen just a handful, SAO is going to feel fresh, and new, and exciting.

Considering that it’s at the forefront of the anime fandom, even today, I think it will be among many people’s first anime for many years to come, and I think that ties into why so many of us so passionately hate this show as well. Because when we discovered it, it had all of this promise and potential, but at one point or another, be it a poorly-executed death or a very, very poorly-executed rape scene, it let us down profoundly, and we were left unable to enjoy this thing that, at one point, seemed like it could be so great, that was, at one point, so enjoyable for us. That disappointment is a lot more cutting than the overt and unsurprising terribleness of something like The Asterisk War or Akashic Record.

But not everyone was disappointed in it in the same way. While I do think it’s fundamentally poorly made, SAO does some things right that are going to be more important for some people than the things it does wrong are for me.