#like they'd just fall asleep at random places

[annabethchase06]

You cannot tell me that Rex didn't find Anakin and Ahsoka haphazardly asleep in the Resolute hangar at least once, and put a blanket over them instead of waking them up.

[houseofanticipation]

After six months of leaving your window unlocked, someone finally took the bait.

You frequent some dark corners of the internet. When tumblr wasn't enough to get you wet anymore you turned to reddit, and when that stopped working you moved to 4chan. These days the sites you cum to don't even have names, their URLs are just strings of random letters and numbers. It was in one of these places that you saw the symbol.

The only identifying feature of the original poster was an off-putting avatar image of Sonic the Hedgehog's gaping asshole. The post was a single photo of the symbol, written in thick marker on a scrap of looseleaf paper. Below it, the text read: place this symbol in your window to let passersby know it's unlocked, and you're ready to be taken advantage of.

You came when you saw that symbol. (You had been touching yourself for hours at that point, but still, the symbol is what pushed you over the edge.) You saved a screenshot of the symbol, and in the nights that followed you touched yourself to it again and again, daring yourself to do it, imagining the things strangers could do to you in your sleep. When your better judgement finally caved to that insatiable need, you touched yourself again. You sat there for an hour, edging and watching that symbol in the window, until your mind felt slow and stupid with fantasies.

You did that a few more times in the following nights. But the after a week the fantasies alone weren't doing it for you anymore, and you were increasingly realizing something that probably should have been obvious from the beginning: most people aren't into the same disgusting shit you're into. The people in those ugly little corners of the web lived all over the world. What were the odds one of them would just walk past your first-floor apartment one day?

So you forgot about it. Mostly. You left it there, of course, but the more time went by the less you believed anything would ever come of it. You turned to other places to make you cum. Lately you've been getting off on posting pictures of yourself, letting strangers describe the ways they'd like to use and abuse you.

And then this morning you found three polaroid pictures placed neatly on your kitchen table.

All three pictures are of you, naked and asleep in bed. You started sleeping naked ages ago, at the advice of a tumblr post detailing how to be more of a slut. You're glad you did now, because the feeling you get looking at these pictures is like nothing you've ever felt before. It's electric, a vibration in your brain and the pit of your stomach that makes your legs wobble and your knees press together. The first picture is of your body, undisturbed, sleeping on your stomach with your ass in the air. The second is a view from the foot of your bed, your pussy pressed against the sheets and your legs open. The third is of your face, an unfamiliar hand brushing back your hair and an unfamiliar cock resting on your cheek.

Before you can even think you're falling to your knees, masturbating desperately and furiously to those pictures. When you cum it's labored, almost painful, your breath catching in your chest, your moans short and agonized. You manage to stand long enough to take the pictures to your bed, where you're able to scrape together the self-control to edge for about five minutes before you cum for a second time.

The one you can't tear yourself away from his that cock on your face. The knowledge that someone was that close to you without your knowing. Touching you. Pleasuring himself to you. When you cum for the third time, it's to the thought that he didn't rape you, as far as you can tell. That means he intends to come back.

That night you feel like a kid waiting for Santa Clause to come. You toss and turn, too excited to sleep, but terrified that he won't follow through with it if he can tell you're awake. You close your eyes and stay as still as possible. If you can't be asleep, the best you can do is appear asleep.

You wake to sunlight streaming through your window, a little surprised to realize you fell asleep at all. You can feel immediately that something is different; you've been violated, you can feel it in your clit and in your cunt. You hurry to the kitchen and find three new polaroids. The first is a close up of your pussy, already swollen and wet. The second is taken from the same angle, but this time there's a hand in frame, three fingers pushed inside you, stretching you out. The third sends a thrill up your spine. In this picture, a man with a Halloween mask pulled up to his forehead has his head buried between your legs. His face isn't visible from this angle, but it's clear he's eating you out. What really excites you, though, is the out-of-focus smudge in the corner of the shot: you're certain it's the edge of someone's finger. There was a second person in the room with you last night, holding the camera. You wonder if he was there the night before too. You wonder if anyone else has been in your room without you knowing.

When you've cum twice, you're able to think clearly enough to wonder how you managed to sleep through all this. This isn't a cock brushing your face; this is penetration, stretching, clitoral stimulation. That isn't the kind of stuff you sleep through, is it? You get off for a while imagining you really are just that much of a whore, that you can have three fingers inside you and barely notice a thing, but then you spot the cylinder in the corner of the third picture. It's a metal canister, like an oxygen tank, connected at the top to the kind of plastic mask designed to cover your mouth and nose. They drugged you. That's why you didn't wake up. They put you into a deeper sleep so they could do what they wanted with you. Your clit is getting sore at this point, but when you come to this realization you can't help but cum one more time.

In your dreams that night someone is holding you down, kissing you, shoving his tongue down your throat. You're afraid and excited and wet, and you want to scream for help but you can't remember how to speak. Someone is saying something, but the words don't mean anything to you, and the relentless sucking on your clit is making it hard to focus on anything else. You want to moan, to arch your back, to press your legs shut, but your body isn't your own. Maybe you cum. Maybe you don't. It's hard to tell.

You come to slowly, blearily. You become aware of your surroundings one thing at a time, and out of order; first you notice the wetness, then the soreness, then the sunlight behind your closed eyelids. You stretch and rub the sleep out of your eyes, but your hands come away with more than the usual eye grit on them. With a jolt you realize your face is painted with cum, and looking down you can tell that it isn't just your face. There's cum on your tits, on your stomach, even your thighs and feet, and a hand between your legs confirms its inside you too. Hands shaking, you scoop it off your thighs and stomach, trying to get as much as you can into your pussy, fingering it deeper and deeper. You must have really taken a pounding last night, because your pussy is sore and your groin feels bruised, but the feeling of that cum inside you is worth every ounce of pain. You put a few pillows under your ass, trying to keep your hips elevated, keep it from spilling out for as long as possible. You imagine it taking root in your womb, changing your body, making your breasts and belly swell with motherhood. You imagine men you've never seen coming into you home while you're asleep and hungrily drinking your milk, squeezing and sucking so you wake up with your nipples sore. You wish one of them was here to fuck the cum deeper inside you, but you make do with your fingers. This time when you cum it's different. It isn't like the first orgasm of the day. It feels like maybe the fifth time you've cum in the last few hours; barely pleasure at all, just spine-tingling, mind-numbing sensation. Is it possible to cum in your sleep? It feels like it shouldn't be allowed, but you're having trouble thinking straight...

You need to stop touching yourself. You're sore and trembly and weirdly exhausted for someone who just woke up, but you can't stop thinking about those strangers in your bedroom, the cocks that must have been in your cunt and your asshole and your mouth. Your clit throbs, begging your fingers for just one more release. You make a compromise with yourself. You put on some panties to keep too much cum from leaking out, and you go to the kitchen to look at the pictures. But there are no polaroids on the kitchen table. Just a cheap plastic USB drive with your name in permanent marker on the side.

It shouldn't be a surprise that they know your name. They've been in your house, they can obviously find your name on your mail or your computer or your driver's license. But seeing it there in unfamiliar handwriting, one more tiny violation of privacy, makes your clit throb again, as if to remind you of its presence.

The voice of your elementary school librarian echoes in your head as you retrieve your laptop and return to bed. It is profoundly stupid, she reminds you, to plug an unfamiliar drive into your computer. There's no telling what kind of malware it could contain, and that kind of access could allow hackers to take complete control of your computer. But you've already done the most profoundly stupid thing. You've done it repeatedly, in fact, and you're in deep enough now that there may not be any going back. The drive contains a single folder, also with your name on it. The folder is full of pictures and videos, hundreds of them, from different cameras and different perspectives, every angle you could possibly want from the events of last night. Men in rubber masks, too many to count, taking turns raping your lifeless body. Stuffing their cocks down your throat and laughing as you choke reflexively. Squeezing your tits, pinching and biting your nipples. Playing with your pussy, intermittently fucking it and trying to shove ever-larger objects inside it. There's a closeup video of your face as one of the men ejaculates onto it. Another of your pussy as a cock pulls out, allowing a fat glob of cum to collect just at the entrance of your unresponsive hole. The last file in the folder is a .txt file, containing a single line of text: a string of numbers and letters that you recognize.

Right there on the first page of your favorite site is a picture of you, asleep and drenched in cum. Below it is your home address, and a short note:

Found this tasty slut by accident at the above address, just noticed the rapeme in her window and figured I'd come back that night. Good pussy, and she must like what we did to her because she hasn't taken it down yet. Stop by if you're in town; we like a limp body, but I bet she'd put up a nice fight if you'd rather forgo sedatives. Just make sure to gag her lol. don't want the neighbors complaining and ruining our fun. and remember to leave her a souvenir! She especially likes polaroids ; )

By the time you've finished reading you're in a daze. Your eyes can't seem to focus on anything. Your mind can't form a coherent thought. Your clit is no longer asking for your attention; it now demands it. As you begin to pull the panties back down, you notice something: the light next to your laptop camera is on.

You place the laptop on the bed between your legs, and begin stuffing the panties into your cunt.

[bluerosefox]

Once again. A new DPxDC idea/prompt.

(Deaged! Danny, Dan, Ellie, and Jazz!)

Enjoy my random ideas.

Look.

Selina....

Selina wasn't expecting this when she decided to have some fun and do what she does best.

She just meant to sweet talk her way into Master's gala/party. Flirt and get info, maybe some blackmail. Steal away the rare cat themed artifact he had recently gotten (and also steal away his actual cat, such a lovely little diva it is too). then she was going to disappear into the night like always.

So...

Selina casted her eyes into the mirror of her car and could see the tiny children she had rescued from Master's hidden basement lab. All but one was asleep, the oldest out of them, although she seemed to be losing that fight from the way her head was falling forward, eyes closing but would jerk herself back awake when she realized she was falling asleep.

Curled up as hard and as much as they could towards the little redhead was three dark haired children, Selina mused that they'd fit right in with Bruce and his little bats/birds.

Two were near identical boys, though one seemed to be much paler than the other and if she remembered right one had red eyes and the other had blue, and the last one of the sleeping kids was a tiny toddler, a girl she heard was named 'Ellie' from the others.

Selina took note that the red head, Jazz, had finally fallen asleep a few minutes later. With a deep breath as she drove further and further away from that... that insane Fruitloop (she overheard the two boys call him that as they ran to her car) Master's place, she blindly reached for her phone and pressed a single digit on the screen, knowing it will connect to her car and call up the only person she can trust to help her with this.

"Selina." came the gravely voice after a single ring, sounds like she caught him on patrol but he seemed to be in a spot where he was okay to say her actual name over coms or she caught him before his night shift started.

"Hello Darling, I need your help with some kittens I found and to help me... Put away their terrible old owner."

[playgrl0]

baby girl / nanami

wc: 1154

!! not proof read, sorry. + i'm dead, bye !!

! reblogs and comments/feedback are greatly appreciated! they motivate me to continue writing! :)

-

the cry of your baby daughter interrupts your beautiful dream. with a small sigh you sit up and stretch, throwing the covers aside and before you can fully get up, a warm hand rests on your shoulder, stopping you. it's kento's hand, of course. you look over to him, a brow raised. "i'll take care of her. go back to sleep, love." he presses a small kiss to your shoulder and then gets up to go into your daughters room which is right across from yours. you smile, laying back down and getting comfortable beneath the sheets again. it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep again.

kento takes your crying baby girl out of her crib and holds her close to his bare chest. he sits down in the rocking chair that's next to her crib, a small night light softly illuminating the room. he slowly rocks in the chair and gently rubs her back, humming a random melody. she calms down a few moments later and falls asleep quickly. kento chuckles to himself and softly kisses her forehead. he stares down at her tiny body and thinks back to the moment you told him you were pregnant. it is without a doubt one of the happiest moments of his life right after his daughters birth of course. when you told him that you were pregnant, kento wasn't scared for even a second. you are both secure and stable financially, so secure in your relationship and he knew you would be the best parents. the amount of love that spilled out of his body the second you showed him the positive pregnancy test was so overwhelming and he'll never forget the way he felt. he never thought he would be able to love like this, until his daughter was born and the love he felt not just for her but also for you, grew even stronger.

when she was born, kento cried happy tears. he didn't try to hide them or hold them back and he let all his emotions out while he held her against his chest during their first skin-to-skin contact. his tears were dripping down his throat and collarbones and he always made sure to wipe them away before they'd fall onto his daughters face. he swore he would never hurt her. he will love her unconditionally until the end of time. protect her from any harm. accept her always for who she is and who she will become. he'll always, always be there for her and he hopes to be his daughters first love. that he can show her to never settle for the bare minimum because she deserves the entire universe.

it was almost impossible to take his eyes off of her in her first moments and it is still almost impossible now. kento doesn't notice you coming into the room. you're standing next to the rocking chair, gently smiling at the scene next to you. you slowly and softly put your hand on his shoulder, hoping not to startle him. "kento?" he looks up at you with a small smile. "are you okay, love?" he asks. you nod and lean down to kiss his forehead. "i'm okay, are you? you've been gone for a while. thought i'd check on you." you answer him with a yawn. his smile grows as he listens to your tired, quiet voice and he grabs your hand, placing a soft kiss onto your knuckles. "i'm more than okay. she went back to sleep a few minutes after i picked her up but i kinda got lost in thought, i guess." he replies, looking at his baby girl again. she's sleeping with her mouth open, a bit of drool escaping at the side of her mouth. you both chuckle and you take your finger to softly wipe it away. "she's so beautiful." he whispers. "she is." you agree. she has kento's beautiful brown eyes and your nose and the smile is definitely yours as well. she doesn't have much hair yet but the small amount of hair on top of her head is the same color as kento's.

"you know," kento interrupts the silence. "one of the things i love most about her is that she was created purely out of love. all of your and my love for each other mixed together and created this beautiful life. she's living proof of our love and she's the most beautiful soul to ever exist. i love you both immensely." he confesses while still staring at his daughter, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand. when you don't respond he looks over at you, looking down at your baby as well but tears are running down your soft cheeks. he takes his thumb and wipes them away. "you okay?" he asks a bit concerned. you nod, sniffling and wrap an arm around his shoulder, pulling him as close into your side as the rocking chair lets you. "it's just, what you said was sweet. and, you're right. she is our love and she's the most beautiful angel. i love her so much." you lean down to carefully and gently kiss your babies head. "and i love you too, ken. i love you so much." kento smiles and softly kisses your lips for a few moments.

he pulls away and wipes the last tear from your cheek. "we should go back to sleep, you must be tired." he says. you nod and stand up fully again, stretching your arms. "let's take her with us, i want to cuddle her." you yawn as he stands up slowly. he couldn't say no to that. you both walk back into your bedroom where you get in bed first. kento hands you the baby and gets in next to you leaving a small empty space between you both so your daughter can lay there. you hold her for a few more moments, holding her close against your chest and gently rubbing her back. when you hear kento yawn next to you, you put her down in the space kento left for her and he pulls the blanket over all of you. you both lay on your sides, facing each other and your baby. kento wraps his arm as best as he can around your hip, your legs tangled together and it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep again.

kento smiles, he can't believe this is his life. his happy, peaceful life with his two girls by his side. his entire world right here next to him. he gently kisses the tiny, soft cheek of his baby girl and softly squeezes your hip every once in a while. he continues to look at his daughter for a while and doesn't notice his eyes closing and falling asleep. he dreams about having another baby with you and he'll definitely talk to you about it in the morning.

<3 @ playgrl0

[neoarchipelago]

So I got to reading some facts about red pandas cuz y'all got me back on the redpanda!reader AU!

They sleep like 2/3 of the day and they sleep with their tails snuggled around their bodies like a blanket.

So like. Hybrid reader gets a lot sleepy during the day. Don't get me wrong, she's extremely efficient when she's awake but she'll often nap, anytime anywhere. On the plane back on the evac. While finishing a report, on the couch after a training and sometimes in the gym behind some training mats.

Random places anytime. When the boys don't know where you are they know you're probably sleeping. But the awful stress they got the first few times as they didn't know where you had decided to fall asleep this time was too much to bear.

"what's this..?" You ask with a raised eyebrow.

"it's a chipped tag." Price said. The man standing around, arms crossed.

"what?" You frowned.

"it'll track you at all times. In case we need to find you." Ghost said.

"you're gps tracking me??" You let out, now feeling slightly annoyed.

"don't get on the table... Calm down" Gaz reassured.

You felt your cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"listen bonnie. We spent 2 hours looking for you last time. You fell asleep in a tank!" Soap argued.

You opened your mouth but Price was faster.

"no. No discussion. Either that or your start sleeping in the dorms. Everytime."

"but... I don't control it... I get sleepy... And then I just nap."

"then I don't want to hear it."

Now you just keep it on you all the time. If it isn't a member of the base notifying Price of your new sleeping spot, they knew where you were.

Now the thing about all these little sleeping episodes. Is that what they started to understand. You needed those power naps. Being in the military didn't let you sleep as much as your hybrid body wanted to. So they often indulge you. You get cranky but mostly overworked. Tiredness eating at you if you go a full day without at least two power naps.

Compared to your kind, it's almost as if you didn't sleep at all!

Now they let you sleep in their arms, against their shoulders. You had been incredibly touched one day, as you were trying to focus through the blurriness of your tired eyes on an incident report, seeing the boys walk in with a blanket.

"You took a nap this afternoon?" Gaz questioned.

"on the couch lass! Nap nap!" Soap chimed.

Another thing is the way you sleep. You had first hid yourself away when you met the boys. Sleeping spots into dark corners or only your dorm. But the first time Gaz found you sleeping on an old office couch, he couldn't stop smiling. How you found this abandoned office was a mystery. But the way you were curled on the cushion, tail in between your legs as you held it like a pillow against you, face on the tip.

He bit his tongue, trying not to let a sound out at how cute he found you. He had left, only texting the team to let them know where you were.

Then it was on a particularly hard mission. The first time you had actually slept near the boys, nothing separating you. The small one room safehouse not giving anyone any privacy.

The boys had noticed your sleepy eyes closing themselves as they tried to chat about what they'd do once they'd be home, evac fishing them up the next morning.

You were eventually lulled to sleep by their deep voice, talking in a low tone. Wrapping yourself up again, tail around your curled body, ear twitching at the lack of their voices as they noticed it. The boys were in awe. Gaz admitted he had already witnessed it before. Soap immediately took a picture, Ghost smacking the back of his head before grunting.

"Send it to me..."

You were standing on a humvee three days later, having found out their phone wallpapers was a picture of you sleeping. Your red face as you scolded them from your high ground, the four men standing arms crossed looking up at you, too amused for your own taste.

[ur-local-snowman]

MerShark!Soap x Human!Ghost

Not really following any MerMay prompts, just something I came up with. Also posted on my Twitter

Part 1/???

Ghost oftentimes found himself wandering down to the piers late at night to clear his mind. Open areas, fresh air, clear starry skies; nothing but the wind and the sounds of nature around him to interrupt his thoughts. It was quiet. Simple. Just how he'd liked it to be.

He was alone with his thoughts, mulling over the days work, reworking situations and how he could've done better in arguments. Sometimes he even brought a notebook to write things down, lest he forget them.

He preferred to be alone in his time down at the pier. No one for him to look after and no one to watch him. At least, that's what he thought. Ghost had been sitting down at the pier, shoes and socks off, and pants rolled up to his knees as he let his legs dangle over the edge and in the water; cool waves splashing over his skin.

Everything was how it normally was. Quiet while he was supposedly alone with his thoughts.

Underneath the surface of the water, however, Lie another being. Just far enough down to not be seen as he watched Ghost with curious eyes.

Soap was a curious fellow. He liked to travel, never known to stick in one place for very long as he got bored rather quickly. He wanted to explore, see knew things, meet knew people. But when he came across This large, mysterious human sitting at the pier on his own, Soap wanted to know what he was about.

He never saw the man with friends. Or with anyone for that matter. Did he have friends? Or family, or a partner? Soap wanted to know about him.

All throughout his travels, only one thing stood consistent. One thing everyone told him. Stay away from the humans. "They're dangerous creatures who'll hunt you for sport and kill you for fun." His Ma told him as such when he was young.

Not wanting to worry her, he kept his distance. Diving away from boats, keeping away from divers. He never found himself drawn to them like he did with everything else. That is... Until he'd seen Ghost.

The man intrigued him like nothing he'd ever seen before. He felt a sort of... Pull to him. His mother's words stayed in the back of his mind as he continued to watch this man. Every night like clockwork, he arrived, took off his shoes, and dropped his feet in the water.

He stayed for hours alone before the sun started to rise. Then he'd get up and leave. Sometimes he'd stay awake, other times he'd fall asleep on the pier.

It wasn't until a couple weeks of watching that soap started getting bolder. Swimming closer, yet still hidden. Another few weeks and he made himself comfy under the pier where he could go past the surface without being seen.

There were times where during the day soap would collect small items and trinkets he finds, setting them up on the pier before the man arrives, leaving then for him to find.

Ghost thought it was strange how random items would find their way into the wooden boardwalk every once in a while. Nothing significant enough to make any sort of pattern that'd indicate who they belonged to. Only that when he found them, they were all soaked, as if they'd been pulled out the water.

Most of the items were small, insignificant. Random jewelry pieces, broken, waterlogged phones, trash that were thrown away, probably from a cruise ship or sail boat. Ghost sifted through these piles, picked out what he thought would be nice to keep and left the rest. No one would come looking for them, right?

Each time there were different items.

He'd started taking note of the different items, joked to himself that he had some sort of secret admirer. Little did he know how true such a thing was..

- TBC -

Part 2: ↓

[remcycl333]

i really like when u talk abt ur own experiences when dealing with all this!! could u expand more on how u manifested ur apartment? like what ur daily life looked like, etc. bc im in a similar situation w a mentally exhausting family and im trying to get tf out lol

TW: narcissistic/co-dependent parent

yeah! so my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me alone with a narcissistic parent, so i knew i really wanted to move out and live on my own. but i had negative circumstances. for instance my parent was really co-dependent, which led to them never letting me get my drivers license or a job. even when i was 20-21. plus this was during lockdown so i didn't really have the ability to learn how to drive from other means. plus along with not being able to drive and not having the money to afford living on my own, i knew my parent would never let me move out bc they didn't want to be alone. so i was really depressed because my situation felt very hopeless.

but then i remembered the power of manifestation. i had manifested an sp at this point and other things, such as appearance changes and money here and there, but this was a "big" manifestation. big meaning that so many dominoes had to fall in just the right places, so to speak. for instance i was nervous that i'd wake up in a new apartment and not be able to pay the rent to live there and have to move out. so i was unsure if i should manifest money first, and then manifest the apartment. but what i was imagining as my end was me in my apartment with more than enough money to survive, so i decided not to manifest in steps.

i was triggered a LOT at first, bc like i mentioned i was dealing with a co-dependent narcissistic parent. like sometimes they'd talk about how i'd still be living at home till i was 25+ and the idea made me go absolutely crazy. i went through months of being miserable at the idea, thinking about how all my peers were living on their own and not having to deal with the shit i did. but eventually i just got so fed up and i decided i just needed to go completely in, because i had been putting off really applying for the longest time.

so what i did was make a note in my notes app describing my dream apartment, and i included pics i found on Pinterest of different features i wanted in my apartment. like what i wanted the kitchen and bathroom to look like, the specific vanity i wanted, etc.

then whenever i thought about it, i'd tell myself i was already there and the apartment was mine. similarly to Abdullah slamming the door on Neville and saying "you are in Barbados", any time i wondered how it would happen or think about how it hadn't reflected yet, i'd tell myself "you are in your dream apartment." it was a reminder that i wouldn't be wondering any of those things, or worrying or doubting, if i was already in my dream apartment. and i already was there in my imagination! so there was no room for me to be dwelling on stuff like that.

throughout the day, i liked to retreat to my imagination when i had time and felt upset about my 3D. i'd do so by imagining that my surroundings were different. for instance i had a picture saved of what i wanted my shower to look like (it was always my dream to have a really really nice bathroom bc my shower has always been a safe space for me of sorts lmao) so when i was in the shower, i'd close my eyes and imagine i was in that shower i had saved from Pinterest. i also did this in the kitchen when i was cleaning or cooking, and while i laid in bed at night before falling asleep.

i also never really let people come over to my house when i lived with my parent(s) bc my co-dependent narcissistic parent would always come up with some completely insane and random reason why they didn't like that friend and i'd never hear the end of it. so i'd have inner convos with myself about how i was excited my friend was coming over later and i'd come up with different things we'd be doing. this was another way i liked to fulfill myself in my imagination.

whenever i was interacting with my parent, as i way to dismiss my 3D, i just pretended i was visiting home and that's why i was with them/at their house. it helped me remind myself that being there wasn't permanent.

this manifestation took me a couple of months, as i was triggered a lot. eventually, after fulfilling myself enough and finding solace in my imagination whenever i felt bad, i was triggered less and less by my 3d and circumstances. i also manifested my parent being chiller and blowing up a lot less.

the final thing i was missing was that i was in a neutral state a lot and i thought because i wasn't upset by my 3d that meant i wasn't in the state of lack. i just had this epiphany recently on my twitter, so it took me a while to correct this issue because i didn't even know it was an issue. i had that epiphany well after successfully manifesting my apartment.

the neutral state was me being like "oh my 3d isn't too bad i kinda like chilling in my room unbothered." so i wasn't upset at my 3d, but i was still also acknowledging i didn't have what i wanted. this was fixed when i started imagining my surroundings as my dream apartment, like i mentioned a few paragraphs up.

and then one day, i woke up and my surroundings felt different. i sleep with a sleeping mask on, so when i wake up and open my eyes, it's still pitch black. but i felt the air around me was different, and the sounds around me were different. like the sound of my ceiling fan in my room was different. then i took off my sleeping mask and i was in my new room, in my new apartment!

it was kinda spooky at first im ngl. at first i thought i was dreaming, but i wasn't (i checked). then i just explored the apartment! i was paranoid i was gonna find someone in my apartment or something 😭 but the apt was exactly how i wanted it to look, and i had plenty of money in my bank account to cover rent and bills and food! and i've been living here ever since with virtually 0 problems :)

[harrysmimi]

Date Night

Synopsis: One where Harry finally manages to convince his partner on a fancy dinner date

CW: mentions of anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia.

More of my work

It was a Friday night, YN had gotten off work early.

Well, to be honest she got nothing done today. Working from home comes with it's own pros and cons.

She liked to stay the weekend at home, buried in her bed. Maybe binge watch some random show on a random OTT site. Or just sleep.

Since the pandemic, YN had fallen into a dark place mentally. She could work from home but she was stuck in country over seas from her family.

She works at the London branch of Columbia Music label, in the marketing department. That's where she met Harry, now her boyfriend of almost two years.

Harry actually slipped her a personal email after a zoom meeting on planning a strategy to market his new album, asking for her number. YN was the team leader of the team who'd work hard on coming onto new ideas, so she had to be present in the meeting, explaining the presentation whilst her foster kitten walk all in front of her camera as she talked.

At first, YN was very sceptical about the e-mail. It was under his name, but it could be anyone. People hack into random zoom meeting all the time now. But again how did he get her e-mail?

So she just deleted that e-mail.

The next session though, he slipped into her private messages asking if she got his email. Of course she gave him his number as he said that he wanted to be involved in the process. She understood, it was his album, he spent days and nights working on it with his friends, he has to have a say in how it's marketed. Well, he partially lied. He just grew a tiny little infatuation on her, he wanted to get to know her.

It was her first project as Team Leader ever. She had just been promoted and it was sort of new to her when corporate decided to give her the position. Of course she was energetic going head first into the new responsibilities given to her. Especially for one of the company's biggest clients.

Her new responsibilities came with so much scrutiny as she was the youngest and least experienced person to be put up in a position of a leader. Disregarding her work ethics, her leadership skills and strengths, plus her qualifications.

It took a huge toll on her.

Talking to Harry was only thing keeping her sane in that moment, even though they had never seen each other in person ever before.

Whilst her parents and siblings were supportive of her in every single way, but yet, everytime she called them they'd be complaining about one another jokingly and never listen to her. She tried talking to her mother, but did she it never worked out as her entire family was stuck in one house.

Harry and her started dating around the time he was back in London. Their first date was on a FaceTime call. She was having some leftover rice she made the night before for dinner, and he was eating a Chinese take out and a homemade salad he made.

The salad was for balance, he said to her.

She was sat in living room/Dining room/bedroom/office; her coffee table, whilst he was comfortably sat at his fancy dining table at home. She didn't had her foster kitten to lurk around anymore, it got adopted very soon.

They continued to talk to one another over calls, texts, FaceTime every chance Harry got to be free. YN was basically free all the time, she works from home- unless she's in an online meeting. They'd fall asleep on FaceTime with one another. It was a long distance relationship even when both of them were in same place because of the pandemic restrictions. But both of them felt safe enough to move forward with their relationship.

Of course, Harry saw her falling into a dark place mentally. In fact she came forward and shared it with him finally as she was tired of being ignored by her family. He suggested her a few things which never worked out for her, and she is yet to find out a therapist she resonates with.

The first time Harry visited her flat to see her, it was like he has always been living there. He knew where everything was. That's when he took her to a very fancy dinner date. Their first and last fancy dinner date ever.

This time, Harry was in town finally after an exhausting yet memorable leg of tour in the States. He was dress fancy, the Prince Of Wales jacket from his own collection with a baby blue shirt underneath it, pair of black pants, and a random black coat because it was cold outside.

He walked into his girlfriend's flat buried in her bed, watching some gruesome murder documentory without a sliver of expression on her face. Her eyes and lips red, she probably cried whole day whilst working.

"Hey darling!" He dropped his coat and a bag he brought with him on the sofa and walked straight towards her bed. "What's wrong baby?"

"I don't know." She sniffled pausing the show she was watching. Pushing her laptop aside she straight away went in to hug him tight.

"Oh my angel!" He squeezed her tight closer to his chest. "It's alright baby, I'm here for you."

"I don't know why I'm crying all day. I just feel so numb." She mumbled, her face pushed against his neck.

Well, she's been stuck in her flat for about three months now. She only ever goes to buy groceries now, which she doesn't have to for two week straight. Her appetite has died a little bit from not getting much excercise done.

"I know baby, I know." He rubbed her back. "I came in to surprise you on a date, do you think getting out of the house would help you?"

"I seriously don't know." She shook her head, still hugging him close.

"How about we at least try, yeah?" He suggested, "you might feel better today by getting out. I'll have us a fun day planned for tomorrow as well." She whined in protest to that, "come on now, I've missed you. I promise we can leave if you don't feel like staying, okay?"

"Okay." She agreed, pulling away from him.

"Alright, I got you something." He with that he fetched her the bag he left on her sofa.

Inside was a cat plushy he saw a random store when he was out and about with his friends, he bought it because it reminded him of her. Along with it was a little bracelet he bought from yet another local business. But the cat mattered most to her in that moment.

"Thank you!" She cooed.

"You like it!" He flashed his dimples smile. "Now do get ready, we have a reservation at eight-thirty."

It was quater past five.

"Harry..." YN sighed, "I don't think I want to go to a fancy place."

"It's not that fancy."

"Harry, you took me a seven star restaurant saying the same thing." She groaned.

"I promise, it's not that fancy." He assured her, "wear the blue dress you impulsively bough online the other day, please?" He dragged her to her closet.

"I don't think it's going to fit me now," she made an excuse.

Or was it an excuse? It was a dress which is supposed her fit her figure like it was her skin at the bodice, doesn't matter if it had puffy long sleeves or it was hemmed at the floor length. She had obviously gained weight lile almost everyone else in the world during the pandemic.

Well, Harry was an exception. He's in more shape than ever. In a very healthy and very fucking cool way.

She had nothing else to wear though to a fancy restaurant, she rented a dress because their first date was planned days ahead. So she had no other option than to wear it.

Harry waited patiently for her to take a shower and het ready, he in fact helped himself with some tea and helped her with her with the pile of dirty dishes. Even made her bed and folded the pile of clean laundry making neat stacks on her bed so she can put them away as she wished. All while he heard the shower go off and the hair dryer running.

Her house was pretty much clean apart from being messy. He know however she may be feelings, she doesn't like when a foul smell lingers around her flat or there is garbage laying around. She's just messy with her personal stuff.

He did not dare to touch her work desk though. She's very protective of that part of her flat.

She'd fine if he'd go through her personal valuables of documents, she hates it when anyone touches her desk or even moved a pen on there.

"Harry?" She called from the bathroom.

"Yes, love?"

"Can you please zip up my dress?" She asked opening the bathroom door just to pop her head out to look at him. He is always happy to help her.

He knows if she was in a good mood he wouldn't even let her put it on before they had a quickie. Keeping his mind out of gutter he helped her.

"You look so pretty baby, you were doubting yourself for nothing!" He placed a delicate kiss on side of her neck.

"I don't know, it doesn't look good."

All she saw was her perfectly normal tummy and her arms showing through the sheer fabric sticking out like needles in her eyes. She was doubting when the dress arrived in mail, she tried it on then showed it to Harry on FaceTime. It was a little loose and didn't fit her well. It doesn't now either.

"Come on, you know how hard I'm trying to keep my hands to myself now?" Harry genuinely find it difficult, he's not saying it to hype her up.

She just took in a deep breath and nodded, excused herself for wanting to do her makeup which wasn't much just some mascara and eyeliner she smoked out with concealer to hide her dark circles and eye bags and a pink lipstick. All the while Harry was sat there on the edge of the shower/bathtub admiring her. He helped her pick out the right pair of earrings, she already had the necklace she wears everyday, her dad gifted her on her 16th birthday. And they were set to go.

......................................................................

YN followed closely behind Harry, pulling out the micro fabric fibers from the cuff of his coat. It won't ruin it. But she's very anxious, well aware of her actions she stopped when the hostess welcomed them and showed them to their table.

It was in the more private and upper level of the restaurant, it was still a five star restaurant. Hardly anymore people there other than a group of six people, and two more couples enjoying their time. It seemed very empty considering the place was huge.

Soft talking and laughing noises seemed to have fade out as the waitress handed her and Harry the menu for drinks. Well, she doesn't drink but it gave her anxiety to even ask for some cold water. She'd gotten so used to ordering everything online, without having to interact with another human being.

"I, I, I will, uhhh..." YN looked at the menu again, "ummm... I, I'll have water please."

"Okay, would you like mineral water or regular water?" The waitress asked, completely disregarding that YN was stuttering and basically sweating.

"Any, any kind would be find. Just, just cold please." She tried to smile the best she could.

The waitress got taking Harry's order, with complete changes in demeanor. It made YN feel more insecure about herself. And maybe that girl was trying to flirt with him, which went completely ignored from his side. But that didn't YN at ease what so ever.

Harry was quick with his order. Maybe the waitress just wants to get back home soon tonight. It's weekend!

Maybe she's the problem here. Yeah!

"Harry?" She called quietly, trying to gulp the lump in her throat, "I, I jist need to, need to use the restroom, I'll be back."

"Okay." He nodded.

"I, I'll leave my purse here." She left her purse with him. In her mind she was letting him know she's not going to runaway, if that ever comes to his mind.

......................................................................

Harry sat there, waiting for his girlfriend. But it's been more than five minutes she's gone. Luckily she took her phone with her. So he tried to text but she was back.

"I'm sorry." Her nose was stuffy, like she cried.

"Hey, baby what's wrong?" He reached for her hand accross the table.

"I, I'm fine." She assured him.

When it was time to order again, YN was on the verge of having a heart attack there. Harry asked for another five minutes to look through the menu.

"Baby you sure, you're alright?" He asked again, "you seem all flustered. Your face has turned all red. Want to go somewhere else, or go back home?"

"I, I just..." YN was finding it very heavy to breathe there, "I want some fresh air. I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Hey, never apologise for wanting to get out of uncomfortable situation, okay?" He assured her, "we'll wait for the waitress to come back out and tell her we don't find anything interesting to eat on the menu, then we'll leave."

"Mhmm," she nodded with teary eyes.

......................................................................

Harry unlocked the door for his girl, like a gentleman he is he stood there with the door open to the passenger seat.

"I'm sorry about that." She mumbled.

"Hey, I told you it's alright." He assured her, "you want to go somewhere else to eat? We can go through the Burger King drive thru and I can order for you."

"I'm not hungry anymore." She shared, "I'll make you something to eat back home." That's when her tummy made a noise.

"Mhmm, I can hear that." He placed a delicate kiss on her forehead, "come on, get in."

......................................................................

"Here you go, Madam." Harry handed the bag of food to YN as he drove ahead and parked in the empty parking lot. "Are you still planning to go see your parents this summer? I mean, summer there at your place?"

"Mhmm." YN nodded talking a bite off her burger, "do you want to come along?"

"You're asking me to go see your parents?" He teased her.

"I have met your family, I want you to meet mine. Please?"

He could see now that she's getting comfortable, her anxiety vanishing away. Not that her parents don't know about him, they love him in fact. It's like they've adopted him. Especially YN's mum, she has sent loads of homemade goodies especially for him, her dad approves of him. Her little sisters are best friends with him now, they sent him little handmade birthday cards on his last two birthdays.

"Okay." He shrugged. "Are you going to show me around where you grew up?"

"Of course, of course!" She got excited, "I'll take you to my school, then we'll go see my college campus and take you to the local markets."

"Sounds fun, baby." He chuckled, "can't wait to go with you."

They sat there eating their fast food dinner, dressed as fancy as fancy can get. Harry's new playlist for YN playing in soft volume in the background.

"You alright now, lovie?" He enquired, "you want to talk about earlier?"

"I, I don't know what happened honestly." She stuttered, "I, I think I got a little, I, I think I was a bit claustrophobic in there. And uhhhh... the, the waitress was making me feel a little uneasy there."

Harry knew exactly what she was talking about. She got insecure there, he's well aware that the waitress was trying to flirt with him which he didn't not pay any mind to. He can also understand where YN is coming from on this.

"I'm glad you're feeling better now." He started, "and I didn't pay her a mind darling, if that's what you're trying to say. I know she was trying to flirt and all but I had and still have my eyes for you and you only. I hope I'm not assuming anything out of line here."

"No, no, you're not." She shook her head and took in a deep breath of relief. It felt like a weight being lifted off her shoulders. "You know it felt so good to finally be able to talk my feelings out and have someone understand me!"

"What about your therapy baby? Are you going anymore?" He got confused a little.

"I'm yet to find a therapist I can really talk to. I feel so judged, which is not right, right?" She looked and sounded very frustrated.

"Mhmm it's not right." He nodded, "do you feel like you can talk to me about anything which is bothering you?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, "I do."

"Then you know you can share anything and everything with me, baby. You know I want to be there for you. Whilst I can't offer you any professional help but you can still talk your heart out to me, hopefully talking helps you. I promise, and you know I'll listen to every word you say. Until you find a therapist who works with you, you can talk it out to me, yeah? If not we'll figure something or other out." His assuring words sure made her emotional there.

"I love you so much Harry!" YN leaned over the centre console to hug him tightly. "So much!"

"I love you so much too baby!" He reciprocated with a returning hug.

N O T E :

......................................................................

Okay, I cried writing this.

I hope you liked reading this. Reviews are appreciated here, and they mean a lot to me. And pls leave a vote that helps me know that y'all are enjoying my work and I should continue.

......................................................................

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[falling-star-cygnus]

I need Billy comfort after the one where he got trapped under a building, can you please make him be saved?

well since you asked so nicely, how could i refuse?

continuation of this fic‼️ you don’t have to read it, of course, but it will make this whole thing make more sense :D @starguardianniom [your request is on the way, i just thought you might also like to be tagged in the part two :D]

without further ado~

"BILLY!"

She doesn't know which one of them screams it, maybe it was all three, but Anby lunges for the android's jacket- lunges really for any part of him she might be able to grab- until her hands close on red leather. The inevitable weight of his metal body doesn't cross her mind until she's being tugged down with him.

The feeble floor cracks further under Anby’s feet as she digs her heels in. That damned, annoying Ethereal shrieks- probably much louder than what she can hear through her headphones- and stomps like a spoiled child being told no for the first time. She'll put it out of it’s misery once she gets Billy- too still, too unresponsive- back onto safer ground.

Only ...Anby never gets the chance.

The ground jumps under her feet, and the tight grip she had on his jacket futzs.

Billy falls.

Hands and arms wrap around her waist before she can do something stupid like leap down after him. An action she knows is irrational but all she can hear is the way the android hits each level of the building and she needs to get him back-

"ANBY-! WE NEED TO GO."

Of course. Right. Clarity washes over her like cold water; Anby can't save Billy if she's dead too. And he would just feel bad if she got hurt trying to save him, because he had no regard for himself-

The remaining members of the Cunning Hares' fumble out of building just in time to see it topple like a house of cards- with their former client pinned in front of them by a slab of concrete.

It flails a little bit- kinda like a bug does when you grab it's leg- and they're privy to a front row seat as a metal support beam crashes into the weird orb of it's head. The thing splatters like a paintball.

None of them feel much remorse.

A few seconds of silence go by, passed by the girls simply.. staring.

"Well…. alright, Hares," Nicole starts, dusting her hands off, "Divide and conquer. Billy has to be around here somewhere."

'Hopefully.' goes unsaid, but painfully heard.

"R-Right!" Nekomata pipes up, her tails lashing with nervous energy, "I’m sure we’ll find him in no time! He can’t really keep quiet, anyway, y- you know?"

Anby doesn’t say anything at all.

They split up, taking turns calling the android's name and pouncing on any slight glimpse of white or red or yellow. Even greenish black would be better than nothing. Each empty nook, each second of silence, grated on their nerves until they were like frayed live wires.

Usually, Billy kept track of how long the Cunning Hares' stayed in a Hollow. It kept them all from lingering too long, unless they got stuck, and it kept them safe. Why couldn't they keep Billy safe- Now they had no idea how long they'd been searching.

Nicole had moved on to bargaining with empty air.

"Billy," she calls, heaving a heavy pillar to the side with a huff, "Come on, answer already! I won't yell at you anymore, or whack you or- or anything. Just answer us, please!"

"And I won't make fun of how you like to listen to classical music to fall asleep!" Nekomata joins in, from somewhere to Anby's left, "I'll even go to Random Play with you to find more, meow!"

"I'll watch Starlight Knights with you," It couldn't hurt to join in after all, Anby decides, "We could all go to the restaurant, and invite the Phaethon siblings, and-"

It was like something out of one of her movies. The second Anby pushes aside a new piece of rubble, she sees it. A tattered piece of the android's jacket- connected to tattered sleeves and sparking metal arms and a big fluffy head of white hair.

The relief almost sends the smaller Demara to her knees.

Time and place, she reminds herself fiercely, quickly signaling the other two closer to better excavate their friend. He's not in any form of good condition. It doesn't even look like he's conscious.

One of his video sensors is cracked, infected with a galactic black sludge that glows a mixture of pinkish blue red purple. The rest of his plating was pulsating green, and severe corruption was blooming anywhere it could take root.

It even looked like his audio processers were damaged. Anby couldn't even imagine how that must felt for her hyperactive friend- stuck in a silent, cramped space while Ether ate at his mind. Trapped without knowing that they were looking for him.

She hoped he would know anyway, that he wouldn't be wondering if he'd die alone under the weight of a building. Billy wasn't exactly insecure, but...

Anby shakes herself out of thinking about it. They'd found him, that was all that mattered at the moment. Now the Hares' just had to get him back home and back in working order.

"Both of you, stand back!" Nicole orders, aiming her briefcase above the wreckage pinning the android's lower torso.

The smaller girls are quick to comply, and out of the corner of her eye she can see the thiren swipe something golden off the ground. Nekomata shows it to her in silent explanation before shoving it deep into her sleeve for safekeeping.

Billy's little sheriff star.

A shot goes off before the smaller Demara can dwell on it, and suddenly the rubble atop their friend is being vacuumed up into the blackhole that Nicole manifests. They each grab a metal limb and tug him out of range.

One problem taken care of, another appears. The corruption blooming from his joints is excessive. If they take him out of the Hollow like this...

"We don't have time to think about it," Nicole reminds them all, voice tight with the weight of the android's life, "Anby, cut off as many of these... things as you can without hurting him. We'll see what we can do from there."

Anby nods once, and readies her sword.

One, two, four, eight turns to sixteen and sixteen turns to the very last one being cut down without mercy. With each bud removed, the sickly green light between his plates fades until it's barely there at all. There's not much to be done about the crack over his eye until they make it to a mechanic, but even that seems to lose it's glitchy appearance.

The Cunning Hares' don't bother with fighting the Ethereals they pass- there's no time- so it's mad dash to the exit that jostles the android's already crushed legs.

....Billy really was all limbs and pizazz.

It's only once the reunited Hares' make it a good deal from the Hollow that they stop running, doubled over and desperate for a full breath. Anby takes a quick survey of their surroundings as she gently lowers Billy to the ground, propped up on her lap to at least provide a little comfort.

It looks they ended up in Belobog territory, around where that eccentric mechanic liked to linger around. Gary-? Grail? Whatever...

Nekomata crouches down next to them and fishes the little star out of her sleeve. It's battered, and kind of dented around the points, but it still clips onto the leather like it never left.

Anby can vaguely hear Nicole tap away at her phone behind her, the curses muttered almost like a soothing balm of normalcy as the last of the corruption finally leaves Billy. His cracked eye returns to it's familiar shade of yellow- if painfully dull compared to his normal vibrancy.

But he's still unresponsive.

Still so hauntingly quiet and still. It's unnatural, and it isn't right. And none of them know if the android's going to last until tomorrow. Or even until the next hour.

Unbidden, Anby can feel her lower lip tremble- can feel stinging behind her eyes as she continues to run her hand through dusty white hair. It held none of the softness it did before this whole... job. Before her stupid grip had fumbled.

Anby hadn't cried in years, yet now she finds she can only helplessly watch as the salt splatters against the android's face plate. Like a mimicry of tears he wasn't built to shed.

"AhHh- Anby, don't cry," Nekomata frets, clearly freaked out by the uncharacteristic display, "He'll be okay! Bil- Billy's tough as nails, remember? I haven't known him for as long as you two.. but even I can tell that!"

Her puffy sleeves gently pat at the smaller Demara's face, trying to clear away the stupid liquid that was blurring her vision. Soft mantras of 'he'll be ok' are whispered, even as the thiren herself starts to cry.

Anby hunches over, would be curling into her knees if it wasn't for the weight of the unmoving android on her lap, and Nekomata clutches onto the lapels of his jacket and stifles a hiccup by biting down on her lip.

He wasn't coming back to them this time.

He wouldn't be there in the morning to braid her hair, or entertain her movie references, or lighten the mood with his silly Starlight Knight quips. He wouldn't be there to help them reach tall shelves, or distract their clients while Nicole emptied their bank accounts, or flail about with his lanky limbs.

Billy wouldn't be there.

...

..creak...

...Creak..

Creak.

Cool metal fingers brush past Anby's face, and then Nekomata's, and then fall limply back to the hard concrete.

"...don't... cry.."

...

...!

Billy!

Warm light finally flickers to life behind the android's video sensors, dimmer than normal but there.

Anby feels as though her heart's been restarted. Like the world had suddenly been bleached of color only for it to be a really badly timed greyscale shot.

Billy was alive, and whirring back into gear under their hands.

"You guys... really came for me..?"

"You big dummy!" Nekomata sniffs, ears and tails poofed like she'd been startled, "of course we did!"

"Have more faith in us," Anby echoes the thiren, resting her forehead against the android's with one final sniff. Nekomata rests her's against the diamond on his chest.

He can't hear them, his audio processers are still busted, but Anby hopes he can feel their care for him. Hopes he can feel how much they love him, and that they were here to stay no matter what happened. Just like he was for them.

Billy Kid was the heart of the Cunning Hares', after all.

[ourloveiselectrifying]

Can I get a NSFW alphabet for Kev *bats eyelashes* prebby please

>:D

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kevin is really into aftercare, he'd want to snuggle and nap first but once they wake up, bathe MC or have a shower together, pamper and clean them, lick and bandage any wounds if Kevin got a little too rough, and cook them a nice meal!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

They of course, love their cock, and loves MCs thighs/ass!

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He swallows :3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd lick and nibble a lot cuz they'd have an animalistic urge to to take a bite out of and taste MC, Like cuteness aggression but horny violence.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Experienced, he knows what he's doing, but it's been a while!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Preference on positions where they get to see MCS face/MC has to look at him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Humorous, will crack jokes while his cock is buried deep inside you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet does not match the drapes and he's well groomed for a dingo-man :3

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He likes to be affectionate and kiss/nibble/lick/rub.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Prefers to masturbate with his t-dick, uses toys, is a lot more whimpery and whiny on his own.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- petplay

- sadomasochism

- gags/blindfolds

- toys

- biting

- restraints

- blood

- sleepy sex

- drugging

- edging

- collars

- shock

- roleplay

- threesome (very specific situation)

- gunplay

- primal

- kissing/hickies

- breathplay

- cockwarming/worshipping

- outdoors

- uniform/costume

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

On the bike, on the couch, in the bed, and in the forest!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Instant turn-on is MC showing any sort of sexual attraction to them or being needy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- Breeding/pregnancy (he'll joke about it to freak out MC)

- Subbing (he'll humour a dominant MC, but shut it down as soon as they feel threatened)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Really likes giving and receiving oral, but a preference for giving.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Rough or gentle is dependent on mood/how excited they are, but they like to take it slow and build up.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Yes, it might evolve into regular sex though, or he'll just tease MC until they have the spare time for a proper fucking.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes, Kevin is constantly taking risks.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can and prefers to last a while, mostly one round, unless they're in heat, then it's all day if they had it their way.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He loves toys a lot, on himself, and MC (has a special dildo moulded just for MC, how sweet!)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

They love to tease, specifically if it gets to MC!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Loud, panting, growls like an animal, and little whimpers and whines.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Doesn't like penetrative sex with others, but uses toys on himself.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Human form: Big T-dick!

Dingo-man form: BIG knot-dick!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high, and has a sort of animal heat where he gets extra needy too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quickly, since all he wants to do afterwards is spoon and cuddle.

[crushedsweets]

Hey! I love your artwork! I think it’s beautiful!!!

I just wanted to ask, what would Toby and Natalie’s relationship be like if they were able to start dating? I’m genuinely curious.

P.S. LONG LIVE TICCIWORK AND NINAKATE!!!!!

HIIII OK I LIKE THIS OMG i cant believe i hadnt thought about it before. ok i spoke a lot more than i thought i would...all under the cut LOL omg..

okay so, like i mentioned, they would probably have some random drunk kiss one night. maybe a christmas party and nina brings in mistle toe and its stupid. maybe new years party and the clock strikes 12 and they were like 'fuck it why not'.

natalie would have to initiate a lot of the starting conversations and touches. toby grew up with people thinking he was some gross virus roaming around, with boys pushing him around and girls sneering at him, so he's really hesitant. and natalie does get upset pretty easily if toby tries doing things without her permission, even if its something like doing her laundry - he has to ask. and he always does

it would start off pretty awkward too... neither of them know what to say, and both of them are so stubborn with egos the size of the moon - their pride knows no bounds. but at times, toby's ego can morph into something more cocky and he'll say stupid shit. 'you wanna kiss me so bad i know it' 'oh should i get nina to buy some mistle toe again' 'if you wanted to spend the night you couldve just asked'. at first clocky would get mad and pissy, and toby would laugh at her, and they'd move on. but eventually instead of moving on, one of them would say something like 'well.... do you actually want to' and they would. awkwardly, of course. a kiss, laying in bed together, brushing eachothers hair, etc.

their most intimate moments probably happen in the kitchen. that's always been quite the place of love for toby, so to lean against a counter and bring natalie close and give her a kiss in the warmest room of the house while something good is cooking in the oven ... probably means a lot to him

i think they'd love hikes. theres a waterfall in my au that they'd go to often, strip down to their underwear, and sit under. they'd wrestle and splash water and laugh and eat some fruit they packed and fall asleep under the sun after hours of just fucking around. kisses constantly swap between sudden acts of passion and excitement, to a quiet, lazy, quick kiss while throwing a towel over their shoulder.

but of course, they are still difficult. toby's reckless and natalie is picky, so theres a lot of arguments that spring up from nothing. this would be a constant thing until one of them eventually cries - something neither of them are used to. that would probably be a tipping point for them to start really looking into being a better person for eachother. but that is not easy by any means and neither of them are capable of being perfect. at fucking all

their biggest issue would be close to their canon shit.. toby wants to stay, clocky wants to leave. run away from all the bullshit she got trapped in. clocky is more likely to truly just fuck off and leave toby behind, and that scares the everliving shit out of toby every day - he'd swap between 'i have to be so good she'll never leave' and 'you fucking asshole just leave already its inevitable theres nothing i can do to change it'. but clocky just wants to live a normal normal normal life. she wants to grow old with kids and a career and a nice dog and to make dinner every night. she wants her biggest problem to be the dog tracking in mud.

eventually toby settles down, and while he cant just walk away from slenderman, they figure something out. a shared apartment, toby gets closer to the farm owners and he starts working more often. clocky gets into tattooing. toby is the first person she ever tattoos on. they both have to compromise a lot, but they can't imagine doing this for (or with) anybody else

[autisticrosewilson]

Thinking about the JayGrant married in Vegas au again

Jason wakes up slowly, a delicious ache in his lower body and far less pleasant throbbing in his head. His mouth tastes like cheap vodka and he can still feel the burn of Everclear in his throat. Before he even cracks his sleep crusted eyes open he knows the bed beside him is empty, strange that he doesn't recall them waking him up when they left.

Regardless he peaks out from the nest of blankets at the hotel room, bathed in the barely there light of dawn. It's maybe seven or eight, far earlier than he cares to be up. The room is more or less as he remembers it, sans the trail of clothes from the door to the bed. The real miracle is that they'd even made it to the room. He fully intends to go back to sleep when he feels it. Something constricting the bend of one of his fingers, warm metal he certainly doesn't recall leaving with.

Sluggish and sleep addled, he slowly unswathes his hand from the blankets to move it into his line of sight. A ring with a metal band and a faux diamond he knows immediately will turn his skin green when he starts sweating. He blinks at it a few times but it doesn't disappear.

Sitting up slowly he scans the room a little more thoroughly. The shirt on the ground isn't his, longer in the torso and slimmer in the shoulders, and he's never heard of the band on the front. There's aspirin on the bedside table his back was toward and a bottle of undoubtedly room temperature water. He starts reaching for the folded up note next to it when something on the dresser catches his eye. A piece of paper, innocuous if not for the clearly printed CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE proclaimed boldly at the top.

Scrambling out of bed gracelessly he ignores the pulsing in his skull in favor of getting a closer look. The signature is definitely his, the same practiced calligraphy drilled into him by the teachers at Gotham Prep and encouraged by Alfred, spelling out his name. His given name, not even an alias. Maybe it would be worse if it was an alias actually, considering he's legally still dead.

The other name is one he's sure he's never heard before last night and while the last name gives him pause he brushes it off quickly. While it would be just his luck, he's sure Grant Wilson doesn't have any affiliation Jason might know. The poor bastard is probably just a random civilian, who is now, at least by law, unfortunately bound to a dead boy. His condolences really.

Going back for the note doesn't tell him as much as he'd like. The paper is a folded up receipt for cigarettes and honey barbecue beef jerky from a gas station somewhere in the Midwest and the handwriting on the back is done in half dead pen, the scrawl clearly rushed with several places where words or phrases were crossed off, the script slowly tilting downwards like Grant was writing at an angle.

So I guess we're married. *Scribble.* Probably an asshole move to leave before you woke up but I had something to do that really couldn't wait. We can meet up later if you're still here *scribble* I already put my number in your phone *scribble*.

P.s. keep the shirt ;)

Jason re-reads the note, more out of instinct than anything, all the little detective gears in his brain analyzing the handwriting and looking for double meaning behind the words but it's all background to the growing thought that it's too early to deal with this.

He ignores the aspirin in favor of just flopping back over into the bed, crawling under the sheets still warm from the night before. He falls asleep again staring at the ring on his finger, half formed daydreams and fractured memories of warm hands and sharp teeth and an accented drawl slowly pull him back into the haze of slumber, and he pretends he doesn't notice the scent of someone else's sweat and Cologne lingering on the pillows, or the warmth still clinging to this side of the bed.

[chiiyuuvv]

Hey~

I was wondering if you'd be able to write how xiker's members would react to y/n being insecure about being very chubby/ very slim (still healthy tho) to the point where y/n would want to change herself (but because she's insecure about how others see her and not because she really want's to) and how the boy's would comfort her, what they'd do etc.

You can choose whether you'd like to do it as a headcanon, imagine or anything else!

Thank you!💚🦊

WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT

• PAIRING — bf!xikers x gn reader (uses some she)

• GENRE — comfort, fluff, i dont think i implied the angst, comfort, comfort, comfort

• WORD COUNT — 758

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — i am so, so, so sorry about the long wait. True was, me and my team had no idea what to write 😭 but after looking up some coping skills, we got to writing. I just wanna say that you are beautiful just the way you are, fuck other people. And if you dont believe me, xikers certainly will ♡

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

Minjae could see on your phone various workout methods that guarantees losing lots of weight in 2 weeks or so

Was a little confused on why you were so interested in that so he decided to comfort you

It broke his heart when you kept calling yourself fat and chubby bc what?? No you arent

And since he knew the workout methods and supplements were a scam, he suggested that you worked out with him

Praises every little thing you do with a big hug and kiss ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Junmin felt a little chubby when he was growing up so he understood how you felt

After researching, he found that setting small goals really helps your mental being

So he decided to do just that

This week, you should at least eat a apple everyday

Next week, you would go for a 30 minute walk

Does everything with you so you dont have to feel alone ♡

SUMIN ☆

He'd be all ears

Hes kinda like minjae too; his baby?? Feeling fat???

But would still let you rant everything out without him interrupting

Wipes away your tears if you start crying

And when you're done, he would go on a rant about how beautiful you are, and even though you dont feel this way right now, you will feel this way in the future ♡

JINSIK  ☆

As soon as you open up to him, hes gone

Then you hear a big crash

Throws away (stomps and slams) your bathroom scale

Along with anything else that triggers you

Then would go on a long rant about how you shouldnt compare yourself to others ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

You told him when you thought he was sleeping because it would be too hard telling him when hes awake

Immediately sits up when you fall asleep, his heart breaking as he rubs your back

And then bolts out of the bed

Spends the next 30 minutes placing sticky notes in random places for you to find, using affirmations like "youre so pretty" or "you are worth it"

And when you see it the next morning you almost break down, hyunwoo restating the note over and over ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

Junghoon feels like hes not good at using his words and would accidentally offend you

So he creates a playlist

You know those body worship songs like i love my body by hwasa or any meghan trainor song?

Hes got them all in one playlist for you to listen too

And he even sings along ♡

SEEUN ☆

Seeun knew you werent one for exercising, so why not some yunmy healthy food to eat?

He knows hes not the best at cooking but he will try

And if not he'd recruit another member

Wont force you to eat all the vegetables but once he does figure out what healthy foods you like to eat. Its over

For dessert, he would hand feed you some fresh fruits ♡

YUJUN ☆

"What, no you arent." Would be yujuns first words but he knows words dont matter actions do

So with lots of kisses, he would drag you to the bathroom

Makes up a self care plan for you to do everyday, teaching you to love your body just like how he loves you

Speaking of love, he looks at you with so much love in his eyes, you feel like melting

And if you let him, he would kiss every part of your body, and pressing extra ones in the places you feel insecure ♡

HUNTER ☆

We all know how hunter journals his emotions just when hes about to go to bed

And so he requests that you do the same

Writing down your feelings makes you feel more connected to yourself, and pinpoints how you started feeling this way

And just like yujun, if you let him, he would kiss all the places where you feel insecure

And cuddles you, whispering in your ear that you are so beautiful and you should not think of yourself that way. And even if you do, hunter would do everything in his power to change your mind ♡

YECHAN ☆

Yechan thought you were joking at first

But his smile immediately drops when he finds out that you werent

Yechan would spend the next few days talking about self acceptance. Making you talk out your feelings and acknowledge your abilities

Would give examples on how this relates to him too, like when he was younger, he thought his rap was terrible

But would reassure you that what youre feeling will not last forever, and that you will see some happier days ♡

[moriartyluver]

HEY HEY HEY!!

i absolutely loved your beauty is terror boo on Wattpad and when I found out I did tumble, I rushed over here to find you.

anyways can we please have general dating hcs for Dazai?? Thank you sm in advance please marry me

A/N: thank you for your request nonnie! Took me a while to do this so I’m sorry

Character(s) :Dazai Osamu x reader

Format: headcannons

Genre: fluff

Prompt: general dating hcs

Warnings: general Dazai behaviour. Might be OOC

• Dazai Osamu was a strange man. Nobody knew what was going on inside that strange head of his. Not even his family or friends.

•I'd imagine you would meet him while attempting to commit suicide, hopefully trying to stop him. He's definitely like you since you had met.

•I think if he truly liked someone romantically, he's definitely be a bit shy about it and although he'd rather be more than friends, he's happy to be there for you.

•once you realised you liked him, you'd probably start realising that he didn't treat you the same way he did other people.

•Dazai would be scared of getting too attached to you. He knows that one day, everyone will leave. Nobody stays forever and he'd rather not witness you leaving him.

•he's already lost odasaku, I think he'd be really upset about possibly losing you too.

•he'd be desperate to impress you though. As soon as you'd walk into the agency's office, hems stop clowning around and show off his deep and amazing concentration skills.

•he'd also magically have money for food whenever you would be hungry with him.

•(he defo stole it from kunikida though.)

•He'd probably have planned out a very nice confession. If you're into mind games, he'd definitely have you go on a scavenger hunt of some sort but that's just what he had planned

•i think that he wouldn't actually do a fancy confession in the moment.

•ANGRYYY CONFESSIOONNNNSSS

•I love angry confessions.

•He'd definitely get upset about you doing something and there would be a small argument between the two of you and then you'd pull the "why do you even care?" Card.

•he'd be a bit surprised you had said that, seeing as you had a pretty good friendship. He'd say exactly that.

“-But you're willing to betray your friends. Why cant you just let me do this one thing-"

"-Because I love you!"

•(squealing)

•he'd go on a rant about how much he wants you with him but he's scared about what could happen to you.

•as much as he is smart, he doesn't expect you to feel the same.

•so when you meet his lips with yours, naturally he's very surprised.

•as for actual dating headcannons-

•wouldn't really flirt with anyone after you got with him. Actually, when he realised he liked you, you noticed that he had slowly stopped flirting with random women and asking for them to join him in a double suicide.

•the Ada isn't surprised. Everyone knew dazai liked you and they were relieved that you finally knew too.

•if you're a calm and responsible person, everyone's glad that dazai has you to keep him in check. I think he'd be more into that kind of person to be honest.

•they'd probably be a bit like "him?! Fr?!" Especially kunikida. Every time dazai does something stupid, kunikida goes to you and is like "how tf do you cope with that man? You need him on a leash"

• if you're a bit more extroverted and chaotic, Dazai wouldn't mind at all. He liked having someone with more energy than him. No matter how you're like, he will love you no matter what. The ADA and everyone else thinks you're a match made in hell.

•I feel like dazai wouldn't move in straight away but he'd have this thing where he'd use every excuse in the book to go to your place and cuddle with you before you fall asleep in his arms, before the two of you eventually decide to move in together.

•and it was unexpectedly expected.

•this man is a HOG. He is the worst roommate eveerrr.

•you'd be tidying up after him so often omg.

•living with him is fun though because he's quite a playful partner to be honest.

•teenage girl type of slumber parties, pillow forts, tickle fights. You name it, he'll do it.

•if you ever share a bed, he'll stretch out so much while you sleep that you tumble out of bed and wake up to hitting the cold ground.

•yet somehow, when you wake up, it's impossible to pull yourself away from his grasp.

•DATE IDEAS

• library dates. Definitely.

•imagine shopping at a supermarket with dazai. It'd honestly be so fun.

•coffee dates.

•he'd sometimes just be like "yo you wanna go out?" And you and him would just walk around Yokohama, exploring for a few hours straight.

•icecream dates. He definitely is a massive icecream fan.

• He's very affectionate in both private and public. The former is a lot more intimate and vulnerable though.

•sometimes dazai would just plop himself down onto your lap while you try working in the office.

•kunikida has tried to pry him away from you multiple times so you don't keep getting distracted by the brunette who would be hugging onto you like a koala and just mumbling on about his day while hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

•he also will hug you when he sees you, no matter where. That's just how he greets you. Also would give you gentlemanly hand kisses and kiss your forehead.

•if he ever gets jealous, he'll probably hug you by the waist and glare at the man or woman who seemed to be looking a bit too long and hard at you.

•he liked kissing you at the most random times just to see your adorable surprised expressions.

•in private, he is alot more affectionate. People like to say he'd be really handsy public and although I don't think he'd be shy to show how much he loves you, he's a gentleman who wouldnt just make out with you in the office of the detective agency in front of everyone

•as I was saying, in private hes a lot more vulnerable when he shows his affection. Whether it's hugging you from behind while you make breakfast or letting you kiss his scars underneath his bandages.

•he loves you alot and if anything ever happened to you, he'd be so mad. He'd get thorough revenge and everything.

•please give this man the love he deserves.  Idc what he does I love him

[jessicanjpa]

Some fluffy and silly Rosalie/Emmett headcanons for @turbulenceseverywhere . (They are going through some hard stuff so please add on to send some comfort their way.)

Many vampires and vampire couples have found a form of "sleep" they find comforting. Rosalie and Emmett's thing is falling fake-asleep together in random places, usually at home. Some of their favorites:

-curled up on the carpet in front of the fireplace

-slumped together on the couch with homework and textbooks strewn over them

-out on the porch swing: one of them sitting up, the other with their whole upper body crammed into the other's lap

-When they're in college, they love to fall asleep on campus. They'll have a late-night study date in the coffee shop and eventually sink lower and lower until they're napping on their laptop keyboards. All just so the barista has to wake them up at closing time. The lounges with the good bean-bag-y chairs are prime real estate too. And of course, falling asleep in class just to annoy the professor.

When Esme is the one to find them "asleep," it makes her mother-heart so happy to tip-toe closer and drape a blanket over them. Sometimes she brushes Rosalie's hair out of her face and Rosalie smiles gently and lets out a relaxed sigh. (They definitely do this sometimes just to cheer Esme up.) Of course if Edward or Jasper finds them, they're either ignored completely or a paper football is launched from across the house at them.

My converted van headcanon is here in case you haven't see that one. Basically it was a time Rosalie gave Emmett a really good surprise :)

They have sooooo many silly tallies running and some are decades old. Emmett will skip a rock across a pond with 37 successful skips and blurt out "That's 10,600 to 7,205!" Rosalie is winning 29,090 to 17,001 in the "Who can guess what Edward's first complaint will be after school today" contest. They're both a little too good at unwrapping a CD without tearing the plastic wrap, so that tends to be roughly a tie. Rosalie is so far ahead in "Who can make the humans do a double take" that Emmett will never catch up.

One time when Rosalie was feeling depressed in the late 50s, Emmett dug out the rifle they'd only used as a prop thus far. He dragged Rosalie outside and proceeded to impress her by hitting a tin can from 500 yards. (I know nothing about guns, somebody tell me if this range isn't suprahuman enough.) She was like...okay so? But then he gave her a cheeky grin and said "That's one to zero." Rosalie tried the rifle out and instantly said "You're on." The contest continues to this day. Last week the target was a tennis ball that had just been served by Jasper with a vampire-strength tennis raquet. That tennis ball was flying. Neither one hit it, so they'll try again next week.

Rosalie and Emmett are the Cullen couple most likely to play First Sight, a prank they play on human classmates in which they "meet" each other there in school and appear to start flirting, start talking, and eventually hook up. They like to drag it out and let the humans think they have a chance, but the problem is... they're not good at dragging it out. They have a teensy problem keeping their hands off each other, so it doesn't usually last more than a few days. Alice and Jasper can drag it out for months, so Rosalie and Emmett become the Supportive Best Friends in that secenario, with Emmett loudly egging Jasper on and Rosalie loudly telling Alice that she can "do better than that edgy weirdo." In this case they have to sit at different girl and guy tables and Edward is just kinda there rolling his eyes.

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

When I...

TW: suicide attempt

Wordcount: 3 500 Okay, so. It really is sad and all that, and probably triggering because even I cried while writing it, so I'm already sorry about that. In all seriousness, there's nothing too graphic really, it's just mentioned how he does it but if you get triggered easily, please read something else. Also harry is there (not when he does it I'm not that cruel)

“Moons?” Remus hummed sleepily, running his hand through Sirius' hair, waiting for what the boy had to say. “When I die, I want to be buried somewhere nice.”

“Somewhere nice?” He asked, waking up as he tried to process what Sirius had just said. Sirius did say random things from time to time, but this sounded like something more than just a random thought before falling asleep. “Why're you thinking of dying, love? Everything alright?”

“Mhm, just came to mind.” He said. “wanted to tell you.”

“Okay, baby.” Remus whispered into his hair, before kissing his head. “Go to sleep, let's talk tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

Now that the conversation they had last night wouldn't stop repeating itself in his head, along with the last few weeks and what happened today. He really should've thought something about it and not just ignored it like he had.

Maybe he'd be holding Sirius' hand on their bed, instead of this hospital one. The room smelled so much like antiseptic that it made him feel sick. Maybe if he had asked more questions about his statement last night, instead of just telling him that they'd talk tomorrow.

He looked at the clock on the wall, it was half past ten already. He pulled out his phone, searching for Hope's contact, hoping she'd still be awake. “Hi mum.” He whispered when the phone was picked up after a few rings. “Sorry to wake you.”

“You didn't, rem. What's up, already Missing Harry?” She asked with a little laugh, and Remus almost felt like crying at that. He glanced at Sirius, before looking down at the floor.

“It's- it's not that.” He said, trying to block out the beeping noise of the heart rate monitor next to the bed Sirius was in. “We're in the hospital.”

“What's happened?” She asked, immediately getting worried. “Did something happen to you?”

“No mum, I'm okay.” He whispered. “It's Sirius. H-he tried to-.” Remus couldn't find himself to actually say the right words. It felt like too much, too real, too soon. “There was so much blood, mum.” He said quietly, trying to fight back the tears that burned in the corners of his eyes.

“Oh God.” It was quiet for a moment and Remus could tell she was trying not to cry too.

When Remus came from work, he had found Sirius laying on the bathroom floor. The place looked like a murderer scene, there was blood everywhere, and there was way too much of it. Then there was a half empty bottle of his medicine laying on the floor next to him.

He had tried to stop the bleeding by pressing on the way too deep looking wounds on his wrists. He was still awake, but it seemed like he was only barely there.

C'mon love, you gotta keep them pretty eyes open for me. No, no don't close them, you can't fall asleep now, okay? We gotta stay awake for a bit. Just keep them open, look at me, baby, please.

No, no, no… Remus, please. Please no.

He closed his eyes just as the paramedics came in. Remus just stood there, shaking with tears streaming down his face, as they tried to bring him back.

He eventually ended the phone call with his mum, promising to call her as soon as something would happen. He wiped his eyes, before looking at Sirius, he looked peaceful and beautiful, Remus thought, but then he realized he probably shouldn't think like that, considering the state that the boy was currently in.

“I love you.” He whispered into the hospital room, he didn't know whether Sirius could actually hear him or not, but that didn't matter, the silence was basically eating him alive. “Harry does too, and mum.” He smiled slightly, wiping his eyes again. “And James, Lily and Reggie.” Loved. “Maybe they still do, y'know? Maybe they're out somewhere watching over us?” He reached his other hand to brush away the stray strand of hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear.

“I'm so glad you're still here with me, and not out there with them, I think they're too.” He didn't bother with wiping away the tears anymore, they wouldn't stop even if he tried. “I was really scared, still am, but I know you'll be fine. Maybe not right now, and you don't have to be, but eventually, right?”

“You'll be fine.” He repeated quietly. “And I'll help you, I promise.” He hated himself for not noticing how bad it had gotten again. Or maybe he noticed but just didn't react to all of the little signs for a reason he couldn't remember now.

“Harry's okay, I called mum. S-she said that they had a fun day. He even got ice cream, and they baked cookies too.” His rambling drowned out the annoying noises the machines made, at least to him. And maybe Sirius could hear him, maybe. “We forgot to pack Mr. Froggie, but he had told mum that he's a big boy, and he can go one night with just his bunny.” He smiled slightly, rubbing his thumb over the back of Sirius' hand, just above the bandages.

“I'm pretty sure he'll wake up in the middle of the night and wonder where it is, he always does, doesn't he?” Remus said. “Then he'll crawl into mum's bed, saying he needs snuggles because his froggie isn't there. I don't think she'll be sleeping, though.”

“She's pretty worried, too.” He whispered. “mum s-she said something about when we dropped harry there. She said that she noticed you acting off somehow, I didn't. I'm sorry I didn't, love, I really am.”

“Don't.” Remus looked up from their hands, as Sirius opened his eyes, looking around the room, his eyes trying to adjust to the sudden brightness before he looked at Remus. “ 's not your fault.” His voice was hoarse, the total opposite of what it usually was.

“Y-you're awake.” He said, as if not believing what he was seeing. Sirius just nodded. He reached to press the button that called for the nurse.

“Why?” He whispered, coughing a bit as he looked at the button then back at Remus.

“They asked me to press it when you'd wake up.” He explained and Sirius nodded again, before looking around the room. The nurse came in soon, it was the same one Remus had seen earlier, she was really nice, that's at least what he thought. He couldn't quite recall her name though, he was sure she introduced herself, but he just couldn't remember it.

“Hi, I'm Lucy.” She smiled. “Good to see you're awake, Mr. Black. How are you feeling?” She asked, walking over to the bed and checking something, something Remus couldn't name even if he tried.

“I don't know.”

“Okay, that's understandable, does something hurt? I can give you some medicine if so.” Sirius shook his head, and she nodded. “That's good, just press the button if you need something.”

Sirius nodded slightly. “The doctor and someone from our mental health staff are going to come to talk with you soon, and then we'll go from there.”

“Okay.” He whispered, glancing at Remus for a minute before looking away again.

“So here is the remote that controls the bed if you want to adjust your position, and this red one here calls for a nurse.” She explained, and Sirius nodded again. “One more thing and I'll be on my way, can you move your hands?” She asked, and Sirius nodded showing her, once Remus let go of his hand. “Okay, how about your fingers, can you curl them up?” He showed her with both of his hands, curling them into fists before relaxing them again.

“Good, can you feel this normally?” Lucy asked, brushing her fingertips on the back of his hand, he nodded. “how about this?” Now she brushed her fingertips over his.

“Yeah.”

“Good. So like I said, a doctor will come soon, and just press the button if anything comes up.” Sirius nodded, and she left the room, leaving them alone once again.

“Why're you here?” Sirius asked once the door closed. Remus just stared at him for a minute before figuring out an answer.

“Because you're my boyfriend, and I found you. Why'd you think I'd leave you alone?” He just shrugged, looking away, but took Remus hand back into his. “I'm not gonna leave you alone, baby, never, especially not now.”

“Okay.” he said, going back to looking around the room instead of Remus. “You should go home, you don't like hospitals.”

“I don't, but I want to be with you.”

“What about Harry?”

“He's at-”

“I know, but we promised to pick him up in the morning.”

“I know.” He said, and Sirius nodded, about to say something, but he was interrupted by the doctor coming into the room.

“Remus? Can you, um-?”

“Yeah, I'll be back later.” He said, getting up from the chair that was pulled closer to the bed. He left the room, going to the waiting area to get some tea for himself.

The doctor and the other one, Sirius, didn't remember her name, but they asked a lot of questions. About his history, what had been happening lately, his relationships, family things, just about every single thing there was to ask about.

He didn't really feel like talking, not just about this, but he just didn't want to talk. He felt exhausted for some reason, even though he had just woken up. He just wanted to sleep, and be alone, and preferably go home.

But he wouldn't be able to go home, not at least for a few days. That's what they said, at least.

“We need to keep an eye on your wounds for any infections.”

“We're afraid for your own safety as well as others around you, so therefore we'd like to keep you here at least for a few days or until you get more stable.”

He agreed with them, kind of. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew it would help, and be better than going home right now. But then there was a part of him that wanted to argue and say that he was fine. That he didn't actually mean for this to happen, which was partly true. He meant to end up somewhere entirely different than in this bed, but he did mean to do it, so he couldn't say he didn't.

He did feel guilty, but he wasn't even sure for what. He felt angry, too, more at himself than at anyone else. Angry and disappointed that he couldn't even do this properly.

It felt like his mind was running, but at a super slow speed. It felt like there was no way to let them out, all words seemed too dull to describe the bad he was feeling, and he felt like he couldn't even cry, kind of like he wasn't allowed to.

They left after a while and Remus came back, he sat down on the edge of the bed, Sirius looked up at him, asking for his hand, which Remus gladly gave. “I don't want to talk.”

“We don't have to.” He said softly, and Sirius nodded.

“I have to be here for a few days at least.” He said, and Remus nodded. “And you have to go home.”

“Not today, I don't.” He said. “Unless you want me to.”

“I don't.” He had tears in his eyes now. “I'm scared, rem.” He whispered, barely audible.

“What are you scared of, baby?” He asked, caressing his cheek, catching the few tears that fell down with his thumb.

“I-i don't know.”

“That's okay.” Remus whispered. “I promise, love.”

Sirius let out a cry at that, tears starting to spill out of his eyes. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be, nothing to be sorry for.” Sirius wiped his eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop. “I love you, Sirius.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead, before wiping away the tears himself.

“L-love you too.”

– – –

The next day, Remus left to go home, he didn't really want to, but he had to take care of Harry as his mum had other things to attend to for the next few days. But first he'd have to clean in their flat before he could go pick the boy up.

When he was done, he drove to his mother's house. “Where's padfoot?” Harry asked, once he had said goodbye to Hope and was buckled into his car seat.

“Did- did grandma tell you anything about what's been going on?” He glanced at the boy from his rearview mirror, seeing him shake his head.

“Jus' said that, only you pick me up.” Harry said, and Remus nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. “That you'd tell me something.”

“We'll have a little chat when we get home, okay, haz?” He nodded, looking out of the window. “How was your sleepover, did you have fun with grandma?”

“Mm had fun, we- we baked cookies and I got ice cream when we watched a movie.” Harry explained excitedly. “But didn't have froggie, couldn't sleep. He's home?”

“Yeah, love. He's home, you'll get him as soon as we get there, okay?” Harry nodded. “Did you go to grandma when you couldn't sleep?” He asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't alone, because Harry sometimes did that, not wanting to tell someone when he was upset or couldn't sleep or was feeling unwell, and it didn't really matter who it was, he just was like that sometimes.

“Mhm. Got snuggles.”

“That's good, baby.” He said with a little laugh, before fully focusing back on the road. When they got there, Harry went straight to his room, going to get the frog stuffed animal, before following Remus to the living room.

“Come sit with me.” He said, patting the place next to him on the sofa, and Harry climbed up, sitting down next to Remus. “Padfoot is in the hospital because he isn't feeling so well right now. But he's getting help there.”

Harry nodded, with tears in his eyes, and Remus felt so bad for ruining his happy mood, but he needed to be told. He didn't want harry to be confused by Sirius not being there and if he wasn't explained, Remus knew his mind would come up with a hundred different explanations as to why Sirius “left them” because that would probably be how the boy would see it.

“What happened?” He asked timidly, glancing up at Remus, before looking down at his stuffed animal, playing with its short fur.

“Padfoot has been feeling really sad lately, and hurt himself, and now he has to get a bit of care in the hospital.” He explained, trying his best to find the right Words, after about a hundred google searches he made on how to approach the situation. “You know, you have bad days sometimes, don't you? Like you might feel sad, or angry, guilty, disappointed at something or someone.” Harry nodded, looking back up to Remus.

“Well sometimes grown-ups get bad days too, and sometimes they don't end. They just feel those things for many days or even months.” He wasn't sure if he was using the right words or using a language that was age appropriate for harry. He just hoped he was doing at least something right. “And when that happens, they might have to take medicine to help, or go speak with someone. Quite like you talk with me and padfoot when you're feeling bad.”

“Okay.”

“Haz, I want you to know that it's no one's fault, not yours, not moony's or padfoot's, okay? It's no one's fault because when those things happen you can't really control it.” Harry nodded again. “It's a bit hard to understand, isn't it? But that's okay, you can ask as many questions as you want, or not ask them at all. It's okay.”

“Okay, moony.”

“How are you feeling, it can be a bit hard to talk about, you don't have to if you don't want to, or you can tell me or draw if you don't know, whatever you want, okay, baby?” Harry nodded, looking back down. “Do you have any questions?”

“ 's padfoot coming back?”

“He is, but we can't be sure when, just yet. But he'll come back home, love.” Harry crawled into Remus lap, resting his head against Remus' chest, who wrapped his arms around the boy. “We can probably go see him tomorrow, would that be nice?”

“Mhm.” He whispered, rubbing his eyes, and Remus gently took his hands away before wiping away the tears that had started falling. “It's scary.”

“I know, it is a bit scary. But it's okay to be scared or sad, or even angry, it's all okay. What're you scared about?” Harry just shrugged, leaning more against him, hiding his face into Remus' chest. “That's okay, Haz.” He whispered softly, kissing his head, as Harry continued to cry.

After a while, Harry looked up at Remus, rubbing his eyes for a moment. “I wanna make a picture for padfoot.”

“Okay, baby, let's go to your room then.” He smiled slightly and Harry nodded, getting up and pulling Remus with him to his room.

– – –

The next day, Remus made sure they could actually go see him, and Sirius had said that it's okay and that he wanted to see harry. When they got to the hospital parking lot and out of their car, Harry just looked at the big building, turning to Remus and raising his arms up, asking to be picked up.

Remus did. “Aw, baby. It's a bit overwhelming, isn't it?” Harry nodded, slightly. “That's okay, I know it looks really big, but I promise I know where we gotta go, and we'll see padfoot in no time.”

“Okay.”

“Ready to go?” Harry nodded, leaning against Remus' shoulder. They made their way inside, and up to the room Sirius was staying in.

“Wanna knock on the door?” Harry nodded, quietly knocking on the door before Remus opened it. “Gonna set you down now, okay?” He whispered, setting harry down on the floor once he nodded. “Hi, love.” He said, closing the door behind him.

“Hi, rem.” Sirius looked up slightly, giving him a small smile.

“Padfoot.” Harry said, smiling and running over to the bed he was sitting in once he had looked around the unfamiliar room for a bit. Remus walked over too, lifting the boy up on the bed, before sitting down on the edge of it. “I missed you.” He said, throwing his arms around Sirius' neck.

“I missed you too, pup. So much.” Sirius smiled for real now, as he hugged Harry back, and Remus could see a tear drip down, but it was quickly wiped away before Harry could see.

“Made you a picture.” He said, looking at Remus who was holding his back bag, where the drawing was. Remus dug it out and gave Harry the picture, who gave it to Sirius.

“Thank you, I love it, Haz, it's really pretty.” Harry smiled timidly, as Sirius set the picture down on the small table next to his bed. Then he just leaned against Sirius' who wrapped his arms around the boy, kissing his head.

“I have to stay here for a bit still.” Sirius said, looking at Remus, running his hand through Harry's hair at the same time. “T-they're still worried.”

“There's no rush, baby. You're healing, it takes a bit of time.” Sirius nodded. “What happens after they discharge you?”

“I get to go home, but I have to start seeing a therapist or something, I don't know yet. And they're going to describe me some new meds. You know, so I can't-”

“I know, love.” He smiled, offering his hand for Sirius to take, who took it, a small smile coming to his lips for a moment, but it faded quickly.

“Padfoot?” Harry asked, looking up. “Love you.”

“I love you too, cub. So, so much.”

Before they had to leave, Harry stopped them at the door, looking at Remus and asking for his back bag. When he got it he dug out the frog stuffie that he was adamant of packing with them, but refused to say why he needed to have it with him. He walked back over to the bed, giving the frog to Sirius. “ 's for you.”

“Thank you baby, but you don't have to give froggie to me, I'm sure you need it much more."

Harry shook his head. “Want to. You need him.” He explained, and Sirius nodded, taking the stuffie. “Helps.” He whispered, looking up at Sirius.

“Oh haz.” He whispered, blinking away the tears, before giving a hug to the boy over the edge of the bed. “thank you, really love it. You'll get him right back, though, when I come home, okay?”

“Okay.”

AN: I hope you like it

Second part of this

I'm sorry for all the inaccuracies there probably are. But it's a work of fiction after all, so does it matter that much? Well anyway I tried to do research and read a lot on the subject, buy still I'm sorry if something doesn't make sense or is just wrong.

I don't know if I have much time to write next month as I have work and then I'm starting in a new school in August, but I'll try to get something written at least once a month :)

Anyway, see you

<3