#like they think theyre doing right by their angels even though theyre terrible its so. idk.

[bullagit]

its just that aziraphale would look anyone dead in the eyes and say that heaven loves him and he'd mean it when he said it. you know. i think about that a lot.

its just reality for him. heaven loves him. and god loves him. and love is just Like That. it always has been.

[likeadog]

like…..what does it mean exactly, for this to be a world where such things are more tangible and yet infinitely more incomprehensible than we expected? what does it mean, then, to have these "blessings" of guardian angels/holy guidance, knowing that its because youre the brood site for some kind of animal? is it a deep violation of your bodily autonomy? or is it materially no different because as a believer you would have felt functionally compelled to act even if it was a spiritual construct? what does it mean to know that an angel can die?

its a very deeply human fear to no longer be at the top of the food chain, i think

and although angels dont consume humans, they do consume a human product, and need them for reproduction. but it still evokes that fear and confusion conversely, though, it also means they arent untouchable. and i think a very large amount of people would see that as a chance to try and reassert themselves as the apex species theres dozens and dozens of possibilities to explore again, for some, i imagine its a reaffirmation of the truth of their belief, and a high honor to be considered part of that process. for others, its deeply troubling. for others, its simply scientifically fascinating. ghds twitter discourse is off the chartsi bet. anyways

for lacramioara, leopold, and virtue, that theme is like…inverted, i guess? instead of an invasive presence using your body, its that all of them are trapped in bodies that are, but arent, their own. that have been changed by an outside force to contain them for lacramioara and leopold, their souls were remolded to michaels design and made physical. their original, physical bodies still exist. not only that, but theyre still as perfectly preserved as they were the day they died. and now theyre on display as objects of worship for thousands how uncanny it must be, to look at your own deceased face through a glass sarcophagus. you still have all the same callouses, and all the same little nicks here and there, or the same lopsided ring finger that didnt heal quite right when you broke it. but now you also have horns and fangs and claws and fur. now you have been fundamentally changed for a different purpose, and you dont really have much choice in the matter

for virtue its a little different: her metal outer shell was peeled away, her brain was yanked from the choir and now has to think alone, she was stripped down and pulled apart until nothing but the furnace heart was left and then she was sewn back up in a bag of flesh and bones. this form is fundamentally her, and every way essentially her, but its not a version of her thats every existed before. shes become terribly human, but she still thinks like a machine she loves humanity more than anything else, but she doesnt really understand them at all shes learned to parrot back things like "i love you", or "that must be hard for you", and shes learned the cues for certain things, but her connections and understanding of other people tends to be very shallow at its core

the shallowness really comes through whenever she gets any pushback from someone. shes very insistent that her (typically pragmatic) way of doing things is correct, and that she knows whats best for you, so shes willing to shut down or disregard peoples feelings the same way you ignore your dog begging for chocolate. unfortunately she does not, actually, always know whats best for you shes got the very human (and very holy) flaw of ignoring her own shortsightedness and she exists in a weird sort of otherdom where people see her as aloof or distant or overly pragmatic, but angels see her as completely hysterical and bizarrely over-emotional. she doesnt really mind, though. shes fine walking that line on her own shes not someone particularly concerned with companionship, so i think at least for the most part, she doesnt really mind. but i think that may shift and change a little as her viewpoints on humans change, too like i said, early on, she maintains that angel mindset of seeing humans as like…..lesser beings. or wards. pets maybe. she loves them dearly, but she still isnt seeing them as peers yet, so she doesnt really crave their approval yet. she wants to experience things like relationships and other social interactions, but its more for the novelty of it than anything else i think the only person she really sees as a peer in the beginning is gabriel, and even then, they have a gap because of age and experience. she was his advisor. shes millennia older than he is. hes like a kid brother to her, or something similarly, shes not offended by lacramioaras antics because she doesnt hold his opinion in high enough esteem to even consider being offended.

and you may have noticed that in the plot summary, before she falls, i use solely they/them for her. thats intentional similar to naked mole rats and bees and ants, "gender" for the angels is more to do with your rank and social function. as a cherub, virtue is entirely detached from the concept of forming that kind of individual identity. after really "coming into her own", though, now shes suddenly dealing with thoughts and feelings about who she is and what those kinds of things mean to her. she wasnt assigned womanhood by anyone or anything when she fell, that was just part of her first steps into piecing together an individual, intentional identity the way i started thinking about sister virtue and her storyline in general even back when it was just EA is that its a coming of age story, but for someone whos already fully adult shes got to deal with all the growing pains of figuring herself out after leaving her home and family for the sake of love. in a way

you guys arent ready for all the godhead death sentence shit ive been cooking in this server

[diavolosthots]

Ahhh the asks are open!! Thank you, could you maybe do MC being turned into an angel after human age took its toll but MC asks the brothers to make them fall because the celestial realm is way too calm and because theyre not with them and maybe mc admits to the brothers that with them it will never be theyre heaven?

***REQUESTS ARE NO OPEN THIS IS FROM LAST TIME***

and all of a sudden i feel fucking dumb for making separate fics for all of them concerning this when all i needed was what this anon came up with. Thanks.

THE BROTHERS reacting to angel!MC wanting to fall 

Lucifer: 

To say he was uncomfortable with you being an angel was an understatement. Of course, somewhere in his mind he knew that you wouldn’t end up down here; you’re too good for that, but he had hoped, and at the very least thought that maybe you had done something bad that would cause you to be down here. Honestly, hearing you say you want to fall, for him nonetheless, is both a stroke to his pride and causing his heart to grow like three sizes. Has you back in hell in time for dinner, best believe it. 

“It’ll hurt, but it’s nothing you won’t be able to handle, my Darling”

Mammon:

You were simply… breathtaking. Had he been that beautiful when he was an angel? He can’t even remember. Truthfully, he barely even remembers the fall, so when you tell him you want to fall for him, he may have a few tears in his eyes. “D-Don’t say that…!!!” But really, he just feels super special right now okay give him a moment. Once he calms down, though, he’ll be truthful in the fact that you’re practically burning alive by falling, but he’ll also promise to catch you. Probably stumbles as he does but hey… he didn’t lie!

“I gotcha, MC, I always will.”

Leviathan:

Tears are in his eyes threatening to spill over, his lip is quivering, his hands are shaking. Losing you to the wackiness that is old human age was the most terrible thing he’s ever experienced, and now you want to suffer again? He’s honestly against it at first. “You don’t deserve to be down here, MC. It’s right for you to be an angel.” But mostly he just doesn’t feel worthy of that sacrifice. This is like straight out of a romantic anime. You could’ve spent a lifetime fixing his insecurities and they’d all come rushing back right in that instant, but if that’s what you want, he’ll suck it up and do it for you. 

“You don’t deserve this, MC, but I can’t let you go through this alone.”

Satan:

He has no real connection to angels, although a fire burns inside of him that screams to go against them. Seeing you as one honestly kind of turns him off and he feels the need to escape, although he’d be the last person to openly admit that. Hearing you say the words of, “Satan I want you to make me fall.” is almost music to his ears, and honestly, some sadistic part of him will thoroughly enjoy watching the celestial part of you burn away…

“I’ll do anything you want me to do, as long as I get to have you.”

Asmodeus:

He’s mesmerized by your beauty, and even a little envious. Sometimes he misses being an angel, or at least he misses what he looked like. Seeing you as a being of such light… he feels oddly drawn to it, as if it’s a part of him that’s been missing, because it kind of it. “(Y/N)... are you sure?” The fact that he’s even using your full name should be enough to show how serious he needs you to be about this. Falling isn’t pretty, and turning into one of them is even worse. You’ll feel lost for a long time, because all of them did. 

“I’ll guide you… you can rely on me.”

Beelzebub:

It wasn’t uncomfortable to see you like this, per se, but it got him emotional. He’d think of Lilith a lot now, since the only reason you turned into one is because of her blood inside of you, and maybe you even look a bit like Lilith now. Same wings? He’s not sure… honestly the whole situation has him kind of down, but he’s not super thrilled about seeing you fall either; the last thing he wants is for you to feel any kind of pain. Honestly, he doesn’t feel like he deserves it, and he needs you to be more than sure about this. Like this HAS to be what you want, although he’d do the same for you in a heartbeat. 

“It’d be so painful to watch… but I feel honored.” 

Belphegor:

Much like Beel, he’s honestly feeling more emotional than anything. Angels are not something he thinks about very often, even now with Simeon and Luke. Yet here you are, standing in front of him, and twiddling your thumbs. Were you uncomfortable as well? He couldn’t really tell. Listening to your requests, as much as it made him blush and even a little giddy inside, he’s also worried. He knows how painful it is, how lost you’ll feel… but he also feels oddly satisfied with your decision… and he silently thanks you for making it. 

“Of course… We’ll be closer than ever.”  

[baecvlt]

hello! could i perhaps get an ultimate imposter x reader smut?? basically theyre alone and things get heated. could you also make the reader like 5'3 ish height and female?? thanks!!

From Different Heights

Imposter x Fem! Reader

a/n: this idea..... omfg i love it. Sorry it took so long ://

You looked around, getting a good look at your classmates. Kill or no one gets off the island? Well, if there’s anything anyone wanted to do, it was get off the island. It didn’t feel real, you didn’t want it to be real...

But it was.

“Don't worry, as long as I'm the leader, I won't let anyone become a victim”

You all faced the voice that spoke. It was a grandiose and hopeful voice speaking. “I will guide you all! That much, I promise”. A man much bigger than you stood, reassuring the safety of the class. Everyone seemed to like him, even if at times he could be a little mean. He made you feel safe and felt that he was all you needed. He at least you made safer than any of the other male classmates. You felt as though you could probably trust him.

“What’s wrong with you?”

You were so distracted, you hardly noticed he had turned his attention to you. “Look at me when I speak to you,” he snapped. “Oh, sorry...”. He nodded. “That’s fine. What’s your name?”. You politely introduced yourself to him, name and talent. “Hm. Seems useful,” he replied,“Might come in handy, like that sword woman or that mechanic type”. You thanked him, asking for his name.

“My name is Byakuya Togami. I am the Ultimate Affluent Progeny”

Isn’t that just being rich? Whatever.

“Nice to meet you,” you told him, offering your hand. He seemed to ignore it, bringing up a different matter. “This situation... I hope it hasn’t been too overwhelming,” he said. You shook your head, lying. He grinned,“Good”. There was a small pause.

“If you need me, I’ll be in my cabin. See me anytime”

You nodded, watching him walk away. He seemed sweet. The rest of the day, you couldn’t help but think about him. There was something about him that wouldn’t leave you alone. That night, you figured you might as well get some sleep.

As you drifted, there was something you realized about the door. Upon further investigation, you realized it was open. You hand brushed against the wood, pushing it open. You could’ve sworn you closed it. Besides, when could someone have snuck in?

That’s when you remember you took a shower no less than 10 minutes ago.

Slowly, you turned around. You inspected the room, seeing if there was any space for someone to hide. The only place was underneath your bed. You approached the furniture, kneeling down. That was when you let out a bloodcurdling scream. The leather of a glove wrapped around you ankle, you kicked. You were able to kick the attacker’s forearm, thus you fled from the scene. As you ran, you realized there wasn’t anywhere else for you to go.

Except, there was.

You ran so fast, you bumped into Byakuya’s door. You knocked on it as hard as you could, hoping he would open it. You checked to see if the person underneath your bed followed you. He stood at the end of the block, walking slowly. There was nowhere else to go.

You were cornered.

That’s when you heard the knob twist, suddenly the door opened. “You, what are you doing h-”. You pushed past him and entered his cabin. Hyperventilating, you couldn’t explain yourself fast enough. “Hey, what the hell?,” he scolded you, but saw the state you were in,“Are you okay?”.

“They..T-They tried to kill me”

“What?”

“They got into my room and came at me from under my bed”

He approached you slowly, wrapping his arms around you. You felt warm, safe. “That sounds terrible. A shame, really,” he whispered,“Rest assure, I shall keep you safe. Understood?”. You nodded, gasping and trying to catch your breath.

“Understood”

“Good girl”

He held you in his arms and brought you to his bed, sitting you down. He played with your hair, calming you down. “You’re very tense,” he said,“...You’re also very pretty”. You were blushing hard. “Oh, thank you, Togami”.

“I was wondering if there was anything I can do to help relieve such a pretty girl such as yourself”

His hands traced down your back, making you whimper. “Only if you let me,” he added. It was all you wanted in that very moment. While it seems rushed, this was actually perfect for you. Also, you didn’t care. “Have your way with me, Togami”. Still laying down, he flipped you onto your back, starting to unbutton your shirt. You’re body grew tense as he pulled back the cloth, revealing your bare chest. He leaned forward, carefully. His lips pressed against yours, his tongue making its way into the makeout session. His hands, cold, began rubbing and kneading your breasts ever so softly. “Is this enough for you?,” he pondered. You shook your head, whining as he pinched and licked your nipples, sucking the tender skin.

“I know what’ll do the trick”

He got up from the bed, turning your body to him. Your legs hung off the bed until he picked them up, sliding your skirt and panties off. That was when he unbuckled his belt and slid down his pants and underwear. He began to stroke himself, instructing you to spread himself. You obeyed and he began to truly lust over you. He got closer and with your petite figure and short height, it wasn’t hard for him to pick you up and plunge his cock right into you. He backed you up into the wall as your pussy squeezed around him. “Ngh!—”. He dug his head into the crook of your neck as you whined,“D-Don’t drop me!”.

“I won’t, I won’t. I promise you...are you okay?”

“Yeah, just go soft”

He pressed a kiss on your forehead as he thrust up into you. His cock filled you perfectly and you wanted him terribly, he felt like the missing piece of a puzzle. Your face reddened more than it already had done so, heating up as you felt your pussy slopping on his cock. You knew if he kept going, you weren’t going to last long, which was no different from how Byakuya felt. The way you tightened around him, loosening when he hit the right spot left him floating in ecstasy. It left him wanting more and more...and yet the wholesomeness of such an unwholesome act made him want to give you the world.

“C-Can I kiss you?”

His nails dug into your thighs, making you wince. “Yes, please...”. He began pecking your lips, eventually slowing it down and his tongue entering slowly. Your orgasm pitted in your stomach, your whines were much more desperate. “I’m...I’m so close, T-Togami!,” you cried,“I need you, I need you harder and deeper...”. Without hesitation, he rammed himself into you, slamming into your cervix. Your need to hold him was worse than before, his cock making you weak. You couldn’t hold back anymore, cumming the most you’ve ever cum all over him. “Oh, look at the mess you’ve made,” he teased kindly. “Keep going,” you moaned, softly,“I want you t-to cum...inside me”. Your softer moans as he drove you into overstimulation, equally drove him insane. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry,” he muttered, spewing his load in you, but he wasn’t pulling out yet.

Still in you, he walked to the bed laying you down, carefully. Slowly, he pulled out. He marveled as his cum dripped out of your pussy. He let you curl up on top of him. “Shame, the water’s not on,” he said softly, stroking your hair. You nodded. “I can shower in the morning”.

“Just so you know, so long as I’m around and alive, you may stay here with me”

“Thank you, Togami”

He held you tighter, careful not to hurt you. “Let’s get some rest,” he said,“We have a day ahead of us”.

“Yeah. Goodnight, Byakuya”

“Goodnight, my little angel”

[caandlelit]

anon this is actually the best thing ive ever seen,,, the league are literally those assholes at the snuggly duckling!! holy shit

and all they need for them to get out of their slumps and mid twenties washed up criminal angst period is an overexcited preppy blonde to hype them the fucK uP about anything and everything

hawks doesnt have magical hair that glows when he sings im sorry anon i refuse to allow that 

but??? he can have wings?? white angel wings that turn red when someone pulls a feather out 

but he can absolutely still do the feather telekinesis bullshit and the feathers are the real useful thing, they like shed or something and they’re all soft and still knife sharp so thats why his captor hides him 

‘his captor’ dont ask me who idfk

and when dabi eventually cuts them off like the hair in the movie, theyll grow back, except red, and hawks can shrink them super small but he cant move the feathers

whats hawks' dream tho???? he wouldnt care about no floating lantern bullshit

oh i got it his dream is to fly, free and uncaged. kinda terrible that he has wings but cant fly because hes stuck in a tower press f for respects

okay but,,,our man dabi is literally flynn rider im losing my shit

great youve actually got me writing a tangled au fucking woW anon i hope ur proud of urself

he goes to the bar a lot and they werent really mad about him having a wanted poster they were just worried and the fighting before the singing scene was their way of showing that they care

his real name is something else and he goes by a name he thinks is cool and hes a criminal and he falls in love with a beautiful blonde theyre literally the same person who r we kidding

but the bar scene!!!

dabi, who at this point wants to get hawks off his back and hasnt yet realized he actually wants him on his dick: hey lets go to this bar full of the most murderous people i know

hawks: okay!

hawks walks obliviously inside the bar

and then screams

because within a seconds the door around dabi is suddenly full of knives thudding into the wood one by one and he doesnt even look phased

and hes,,what the fucK hes beaming????

"aw hi toga its good to see you, too"

'fucking kill yourself you fucking asshole'

dabi strolls up to the bar with his hands in the pockets of the trenchcoat that shigaraki is severely regretting buying for him for christmas and hawks follows with wide eyes while everyone stares at the audacity of this asshole who just left the league and now he shows up again like who tf does he think he is?? and who is that absolute babe behind him what the hell how come dabi always gets the hot ones

he leans his elbow on the bartop and grins and goes, in the fake rich (except actually rich but no one really knows his sob story) voice that everyone curses the use of because it always makes them laugh and theyre mad at him right now goddammit: "kurogiri, your finest lager please"

shigaraki loses it and yells "fuCK YOU", bodily throws himself at him, ready to fucking beat his ass all the way to australia even though it hasnt been discovered yet in this universe

and then spinner tries to tug him back but twice pushes him forward because, bar fight, hell yeah, and then everyones fucking going at it and bodies are grappeling and punches are being thrown and shins are being kicked and honors are being defended

and hawks is like whaT the fUCK is hAPPEniNG!!

hawks tries to pull dabi out and gets a fist in the side for his troubles and he backs off, wincing and clutching at his ribs, but hes talking all the while, trying to reason over the din, babbling about how, hey, maybe we should think this through, but no ones listening

he finally loses his cool and screams, "stOP!!"

they stop and everyone is looking at him

hawks, passionately: hes trying to heLP me! yeah, hes an asshole, (*muffled dabi in the background, held in a chokehold courtesy of magne* 'heY') but he saved me and helped me escape from my prison and he's taking me to fullfil my dreaM! what, you think you can beat the bitch out of him? have some humanity! havent any of you ever had a dream before??

shigaraki squints at him, the sheer brightness of this holy being confusing him into actually wondering what his dream is, magne leans back thoughtfully, absently tightening her arm around dabi's throat making him let out a strangled noise, twice scratches his head and toga stares at hawks with heart eyes bc hes an angel

kurogiri: huh. yes actually i had,, a dream.. once..

*everyone turns around to gape at him, including hawks bc he didnt really think that would work*

“-ive always fancied myself a bit of a bartender you know, not like at this scraggly place, no offense, but at a high-end establishment, some place classy and aesthetic. its always been my dream to own a nice bar or a club, respected and in the city”

 queue more gaping and everyone absorbing this information about kurogiri and then ,,,,,everyone starts talking about dreams they once had about a better life and hawks is beaming and dabi is staring at the floor wondering why he ever thought hawks wouldnt be adored by these assholes on sight

anyone can like. take this base and run with it i have ??no?? idea?? what to do next rip

[its-3am-sadness]

getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

Monday February 11th,2013:

well..i hate myself. terribly. fucking. little. cunt. thats what i am. a fucking bitch. a pussy, more like a pair of balls.. pussy's are actually quite strong.. so im a pair of balls. GROSS!.. i like pussy better.. whatever. so anyway.. i hate how much of a bitch i am. im so mean to everyone. im not good enough for shawntay. i dont deserve jake and i feel like i treat both of them like shit.. i dont mean to. they're both my whole world..damn.. i couldnt live with out both of them.. i really couldnt.

Conversation on Saturday Night:

me: how isn't it? if you go then you wont have to worry about me.

Jake: ill worry more

me:no

Jake: yeah i will

Me:no

Jake: why cant i?

me: Because..you just cant. you shouldnt. its not worth it.Never. You should leave before you get hurt.

Jake: this isnt about right now anymore is it?

me: i guess not..

Jake: cause ive told you before im not leaving unless you stop loving me ima be here for you until you dont want me to and ima be with you till you break up with me, i love you and im gonna stay through thick and thin. you wont hurt me. You wont.

Baby i friken love you and i wanna be with you no matter what im yous i dont want anyone else but you and im gonna stay okay?

Me: i hurt everyone. i want to be with you. i am in love with you. but i am so hard and difficult. i push every single person away because i just tear people down. i dont want to do that. You are so amazing and that cant die.

how can i call that mine? that is a way to good for me kindda guy.. ive fallen in love with him. but he is way to good for me.

Tuesday February 12, 2013:

i almost cut last night.. i lost it and i started crying terribly. my mother is such a damn bitch. i cant handle her anymore.. she's having surgary on the 25th of this month.. but shes forcing me to appologise for being 'rude' to my brothers wife.. fuck that.. she told me i didnt appriciate anyone.. you dont tell someone who hates themself, who seriously cant stand to look at herself or hear herself, you DONT TELL THEM THAT THEYRE NOT FUCKING APPRICATIVE! what the hell.. so i have anger issues so i flipped out, not to her, just annonmusly over facebook & shes not even my friend on there so fuck her. seriously. and my mother is sticking up for HER, an not ME. bitch.. i have enough shit i dont need to deal with this, its from over a month ago.. i hate my mother.. she fucking came running downstairs screaming at me for taking something that i really didnt.. i didnt even know what she was talking about.. why... im always to blame. FUCK HER! god... she makes me want to kill myself. she thinks that i look up to her and that she's this perfect little angel and does everything for me.. but all she does is make me feel like shit.. i mean we have our moments that we get along an laugh an are friends. when we're friends we're totally fine, but than she turns in to over protective bitch mode.. i hate itt.. i dont wanna stay after school to get extra help.. and shes fucking making me. i hate it. i hate her. i want to get the fuck away. HELP ME! i need to be saved.

Wednesday February 13th, 2013:

theres not a lot of time to write here today...i only got about 3 minutes.. but damn.. i wanna die.. im not going to stopo myself tonight if i wanna cut. i gotta do it.. its to hard. my parents and my one brother are douches..they fucking dont know when to stop making me feel like shit.. i hate it. goddamn.. i cried so much last night.. i wish i were alone.. it'd be easier not to worry about hurting someone.. i hate myself. im absolutly disguesting. fat, ugly and just so gross.. i hate what ive become.. i cant stop myself. it's who i am now..

my razors fell out of my case this morning, it was scary i thought that someone was going to ask me what they were when i bent to pick them up.. i was so shakey.. i hate myself. ughhh. fuck. i hate everyone, my self the absolute most though.. good bye..

Thursday Febraury 14th, 2013:

well.. i stopped the 21 days last night.. 16.. 2 on my thigh, they're small. and the rest between my two arms. im such a fail..

Jake did the cutest thing ever.. he put a bunch of choclate kisses in my locker & taped it saying 'i <3 u' i keep blushing today.. i just told someone i like they're hat & he said he liked my face, i blush to much, i dont like him even, but it was kindda a compliment, soo.. *sigh* i hope shawntay doesnt get mad at me.. i told her i cut in our notebook, i havent told jake & im nott gunna unless he asks.. i cant tell him.. i HATE THAT THEY CARE!!!!!!!!! ugh... i just hurt eveyrone.. i make everyone want to kill themselves.......... FUCK.

ive been handing outt 'my little pony' valentines today.. only 4 gurls, and like 15 or more guys.. the girls are Shawntay, my friend Kenzie, Tabby & Heather. God.. all of them are so FUCKING gorgeous..ugh.. i seriously wish i could be even half as pretty as them.. Shawntay, everything about her is perfect, i wouldnt change a thing. Perfect long hair, flawless skin, perfect body.. McKenzie, she's in love, happy, so beautiful. Tabby, SO gorgeous, i find her easy to talk to and i think we could be pretty good friends. i love her hair.. i want it terribly. and Heather, her makeup, my lord is it always so damn perfect. no flaws to it, always perfect all the damn day long. She may be a bitch sometimes, but she's also hillarious as fuck. i could see me an her being better friends then we are, but not anything long-best friend. but damn.. i wish i were them..

Friday February 15th, 2013:

last night i broke down terribly and cried for hours.. i could stop. my douche fuck parents.. goddamn.. i wish i could just love them and call it good. but my mom comes down and bitches about facebook.. so now i have to delete it.. god. she controls every damn thing of my life.. she doesnt even know what tumblr is or instagram & she fucking wants me to delete them. HELL TO THE FUCK NO! dumbass. i hate her.. she ruins my life..

Tuesday February 19th, 2013:

okay..well this is reallly really stupid.. but on friday, i realized that with my ex boyfriend, he fucked her while we were together & i had sex with him countless times after.. so now i obviously did something wrong. it showed me how worthless i am & how much i seriously fuck people up..it's all my fault. i loved him wrong. i treated him like shit and look where that's gotten me.. im such a pathetic fucking fail of life. i hate myself.. im used and worthless. im the damn slut of the fucking family for fuck's sake!! my oldest brother just got married & the other just got engaged.. ugh..

ive been starving myself latley too.. it's kinda hard because i love eating, but ive been not eating lunch for about a week & i rarley eat at home soo..

[tumblunni]

Man now im thinking about headcanons on someone else's headcanon and i feel so embarassed lol. Like i would never have the balls to actually leave a comment like "hey i love your supa dark mega ultra backstory heres my dumb ideas out of nowhere for other plots he could have" even tho i love people making comments like that on my own headcanons aaa

SO WHATEVER im gonna ramble the dumb ideas here. In secret. Where that fanartist probably wont see. Which defeats the entire purpose of writing the thing. But i am a shy bitch.

OKAY SO

The idea of a Zeti/Human hybrid is SO COOL and especially with that dark history of him dying of the same disease as his sister and the whole experiment on him being covered up. Which makes me think there could be SO MANY potential plotlines with him and Maria! Like he's torn between wanting to tell her he's alive and wanting to run away forever from fear of her being scared of what he's become, and then part of him doesnt even feel like himself anymore and he wonders if itd be best to just give in to the madness and forget being human.

And i dunno maybe he kinda acts like a guardian angel to her? Like he cant stand never seeing her again even if it means sneaking around in secret and just protecting her without her knowing. Maybe leaves mysterious birthday presents from nowhere? Gets depressed that his attempt to sew a teddy bear ended up terrible because of his claws, but she loves it and makes up a story that this patchwork bear is "here cos he's sick too, just like me!" Kinda like...projects her scattered memories of her dead brother onto the bear? She doesnt conciously remember him but some of the stuff she 'imagines' in her make believe games ends up being eerily close.

And maybe what if someday he slipped up and she accidentally saw him? But she isnt scared at all, like he thought she'd be. She takes him to see her 'secret best friend', the strange ultimate weapon creature in the basement. So Warpnik ends up being roped into playing tea party with his amnesiac sister and a hedgehog and it was possibly the weirdest day of his life, even more so than when he died! But maria still doesnt revognise its him, she just thinks he's another "friend who was made here" like shadow. She talks about how she feels like just another experiment too, because she barely remembers her life back on earth before she got sick. So even though his worst case scenario didnt happen and he has a chance at bonding with his sister again, this was still a traumatic day that pushed him further away from her. Her saying that made him think of her ending up as a monster like him, and how she seemed to have made peace with the idea of never having a normal life. It was the seed of even more hatred of himself, and now a hatred for shadow too, seeing him as something that was hurting Maria by "making her think that freaks like us deserve to live". He's powerless to save his sister and he knows that the labs are doing weapon experiments like him and shadow when they should be focusing everything on curing Maria! So he lashes out at this other poor kid who doenst have any blame for whats happened. Loses control of himself and attacks him without conciously meaning to, but he still knows those ugly feelings inside are really something he really thought. I feel like his 'loopy' monster side would just be him without limits, sorta? Like sometimes his subconcious feelings explode out of him, because he was quiet and reserved as a human. And sometimes its just him being a goofy prankster when he would have been too shy before, but sometimes its a depressing scene of having a nice day with your sister and feeling hope for the future and then you have your claws at the throat of her best friend and she's looking at you with the fear you always expected to see. So maybe that was the incident that led to him ripping off his horns and getting so obsessed with trying to look human again...

Oh also another good plot idea would be him actually meeting the Deadly Six someday! By the timeframe of Lost World he'd be an adult and more like his canon self, so itd be extra interesting! Like theyre all

"whoa, its an adult!"

"HEY WHAT ABOUT ME"

"ok we have zavok but here's an actually functional adult!"

"The dude's talking to a rubber fish!"

"Yeah, like i said, saner than you."

And they'd probably also be naturally HELLA CONFUSED cos i mean where in the heck did this other zeti come from?? Even more confusing that he says he's been here before they turned up, and that he won't shut up about being a human. Itd probably end with them all marching over to GUN headquarters and slapping their shit for DARING to make artificial zeti! And as they do the badass slow walk away from the explosion theyre also like "ok so we all agree we're adopting this guy right?" "Yep" "yeah" "totally"

Probably joining the deadly six would actually be really beneficial to warpnik's mental health! Even though theyre villains he'd still get to see that...yknow...theyre PEOPLE, and his species isnt necessarily inherantly violent. Well..okay..maybe theyre a LITTLE violent, but like not 'mindless beast' violent but 'ordinary teenage pranksters having a blast trolling this blue hedgehog' violent. Your destiny is not set in stone! You can join us and embrace the comic relief!!

I dunno man ive wrote way too many words for a headcanon of a headcanon of a guys headcanon and i dont even know

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[kuro-shit-posts]

A, F, J, P for sebastian, UT, ciel and vincent?

Hello! im so so sorry but im not super familiar with Vincent’s character and i didnt want to write something bad and disappoint you so i decided not to write for him, i hope thats ok! But i dohope you still enjoy the other characters!!———–Sebastian: A-Affection: completed in a previous post

F-Fun Times: Sebastian’s true self is still a bit enigmatic, however I feel that the real, demon, Sebastian doesnt really find many activities to be fun except for things like the manipulation of others or killing things (specifically killing sprees). Regarding his affinity for cats, i feel that playing with kitties would be the closest, if not the only, human “activity” he finds entertaining. As to whether Sebastian prefers to be in a group or alone, Sebastian doesnt really care for other demons, and clearly he isnt fond of angels or reapers either. Though Sebastian finds humans interesting, i think he finds them enjoyable in the way we enjoy looking at lobsters in a tank before we eat them. Its fun to watch them move around and interact with eachother, hell even after you take one home you might name it or think its cute, but ultimately its still food and you intend to eat it, not take it to the park and have a picnic because you enjoy its company. So needless to say Sebastian prefers to be alone.

J-Jokes: Clearly Sebastian is very talented in telling jokes but i think thats simply a product of being alive for so long and the fact that humans’ sense of humor hasnt really change through the centuries. Sebastian enjoys possessing the ability to make humans laugh as he enjoys being the center of attention and earning praise from humans. Though I dont believe he finds much humor in what humans find funny, i do believe he has his own sense of humor and for a demon he’s pretty giggly. For the most part, Sebastian makes himself laugh (especially in the form of puns), though he oftens finds humor in the foolishness of other (particularly Ciel). Sebastian is pretty quick to get a joke that would be considered funny to humans of any century, however, jokes that pertain to current or recent events tend to take him a bit longer, especially if he hasnt been amongst humans in a few decades. I think as the centuries went on, i.e. entering the 20th and 21st centuries, Sebastian would be even slower to get jokes as things move incredibly fast during the modern era. He’d finish a contract in the 80s and come back in 2010’s and be completely lost even though it had only been 30 years. What on earth was a Vine? Why did humans find plants so funny all of a sudden. Wait…when they say vine they aren’t referring to the botanical organism? He’d be one of those people that catches on right as a trend is ending or even way after it has ended because modern era trends, especially in humor, tend to last for months at the very most; which would be like miliseconds to a demon who experiences 10 years like 10 minutes.

P-Personality: First and foremost, I think that an intelligent partner would suit him best. As it is, Sebastian is alot smarter than the majority of humans, reapers, and quite possibly other demons, so regardless of who he chooses as a partner, they need to be able to keep up with his mental abilities. Next on the list of importance, I’d say maturity is something Sebastian values. Sebastian finds immature people destestable and someone’s level maturity makes or breaks his perception of them. After those two traits I think things tend to get a bit more flexible, I feel like Sebastian would prefer someome who had a sense of adventure, he doesnt care for boredom or laziness so someone who would want to get up and do things, or go with him to obscure places would be right up his alley. Someone with a unique perspective on the world would be desirable as well, Sebastian finds humans incredibly perplexing, so a human that even other humans have difficulty deciphering would be attractive to him as he likes a challenge. Speaking of challenges, he wouldnt want someone who’d come to him too easily, though he wouldnt want to work terribly hard either, he likes the chase but only when he knows there’s a reward waiting for him at the end. Sebastian would also find perseverance attractive, especially if it was facing something they feared or a task that proved to be incredibly challenging. I feel like he’d prefer a thrill-seeker as well. Most importantly though, he’d want someone to be able to completely accept and cherish his true form. Sebastian loves being a demon so someone who loved him like he loved himself would be absolutely necessary.

Ciel:A-Affection: Ciel would definitely be the type of s/o to buy you a diamond necklace before he’d think to give you a hug. Ciel hates physical contact, period. But i do think that he would tolerate it if his s/o really wanted physical affection and they were the one to initial it. Ciel’s not too good with words of romance either, so the majority of his love would be shown through the purchasing of items or perhaps the rememberance of a favorite meal or song and providing his s/o with such on frequent occasions. Ultimately he is still pretty distant and any type of affection would be rare. Though I think Ciel would prefer a distant partner who wouldnt demand alot of his attention, i feel like a clingy partner would complement his personality better. The reason being that Ciel acts distant and cold to protect himself, deep down he stills craves affection like any other human, especially one that has been broken. He’d need a partner that is able to understand this and is able to compensate for his lack of means to show affection by being clingy or affection enough for the both of them.

F-Fun Times: Ciel primarily enjoys activities that challenge him mentally, chess(obviously), reading, etc. On the other hand, Ciel is definitely not fond of any type of physical activity. To be even mediocre at anything that involves physical exertion, he has to put in his all. Ciel isnt the most social person, he’ll be social if he has too and he’s pretty damn good at acting but if he has the choice he prefers to do things he finds entertaining by himself. Ciel is pretty introverted and finds the company of others incredibly draining even if he enjoys the person or people themselves.

J-Jokes: Oh no no no, Ciel is t e r r i b l e when it comes to telling jokes. Ciel tends to be very left brained and unfortunately for him, that leaves him pretty empty handed in the comedy department, as we obviously saw during the Circus Arc when it took him hours to make Undertaker (a man who is notoriously giggly) produce even a miniscule chuckle. Ciel enjoys puns on occasion and only when theyre tasteful. Ciel is more so a fan of witty comments but an intelligent pun tickles his fancy every once in a while. However he hates Sebastian’s constant puns (mostly because he is the subject of them). Ciel is actually pretty slow to get most jokes. He doesnt really understand many types of common humor unless its witty or sarcastic. He really doesnt care for humor in general, to be honest, he hates smiling and being happy, it reminds him of the dwindling time he has left, and how he is technically on borrowed time. Ciel hates humor because he almost feels guilty for laughing or enjoying himself. He feels as if he doesnt deserve happiness after what he has sacrificed and for the selfish reasons he did so. In short, humor is not a friend of Ciel.

P-Personality: Ciel would best be suited by someone who has a personality opposite to his. Ciel isnt cold by nature, Ciel is cold because of a traumatic experience. Ciel’s aloof demeanor is more so a shield rather than a legitimate personality trait. Underneath that shield, Ciel’s a sweet person, he craves love and happiness just like anyone else, perhaps more than most people because he has been so fiercely denied it. Because Ciel is no longer able to access those feelings of love and happiness he would best be complimented by someone who could do that for him. Someone who could provide him with positivity and allow him to view things more optimistically would be ideal. Though, he would best be suited by someone with a calmer persona, they would have to be down to earth as he would most likely view them as his stability. Someone with a motherly aura who could take care of him instead of him having to take care of them. That type of person would attract him and be an incredibly good fit for his personality. Other personality traits wouldnt hold as much merit with him, except for maybe intelligence, Ciel wouldnt be fond of a partner who couldnt keep up with him mentally.

Undertaker:A-Affection: Completed in a previous post

F-Fun Times: Undertaker enjoys activities that have to do with the strange and unconventional. Undertaker enjoys things he doesn’t understand, I feel like that’s why he’s so fascinated wih death. Death is quite the anomaly and he very much enjoys the feeling of curiosity. Honestly Undertaker is pretty fond of gore as well, he likes cutting things open in his free time and seeing whats inside, not only because he is fascinated with how the insides of the creature work but because he enjoys the look of bloodied flesh, as gross as it sounds. Aside from things that pertain to death, Undertaker enjoys other unconventional activities as long as they dont bore him. He doesnt much care whether or not theyre productive activities, however he cant stand idle activities that completely waste his time. He’s pretty lazy but he doesnt take pleasure in wasting his immortality on things that serve no ultimate purpose. Discovering new, completely bizarre things is his favorite activity. He doesnt much care whether or not he has any company to do this with, he does what he wants regardless of anyone else. Though if he had to chose he would probably prefer the company of a companion to assist him in his activities.

J-Jokes: This man L O V E S jokes. I mean, he straight up values them in the same way normal people value currency. Undertaker isn’t particularly good at telling jokes himself but he certainly appreciates the art of comedy. He enjoys puns, he enjoys anything that might make him laugh. However, his favorite type of comedy is either slapstick or simply watching someone unknowingly make a fool of themselves. Undertaker is most fond of the comedy that is unexpected and happens naturally. He is always the first to get a joke. Jokes to him are a fine art, and honestly even if he doesnt get a joke, the fact that he couldnt understand makes him laugh anyway. The only jokes Undertaker doesnt enjoy are corny jokes. If unexpected/slapstick comedy is caviar to him, dad jokes are dollar store spray cheese. He hates dad/corny jokes, he finds them terribly overused and believes the only people who find them funny have a horribly underdeveloped sense of humor.

P-Personality: Undertaker would best fit with someone who is somewhat similar to him. Undertaker enjoys happy-go-lucky people whom see the beauty in laughter and pursue happiness. Despite being consistently cast off in the dark shadows of death and the grimness of grim reapers, Undertaker values optimism and positivity. Undertaker also values uniqueness and is drawn to those that possess strange qualities or quirks. He likes strange things and would prefer a partner who could satiate his hungry for unconventionality. Undertaker would also want someone who could make him laugh and value humor in the same way he did. He would clash with someone who was too serious, Undertaker has seen a lifetime of seriousness and gloom, he couldnt stand a partner who took their time in the world for granted and spent it focusing on the bad instead of trying to achieve happiness.

[a-tired-bass]

A Pride and Prejudice liveblogging (with Keira Knightley). As a foreword, not having observed any P&P media for a very long time, I remember merely the gist of the story and not the specifics

Keira Knightley (KK from here on out) is, as always, immaculate

Ooooh I like the clever use of diegetic music with that piano transition

That is a good pupper. Looks like a wolfhound

The ladies are all so cute!

Some of those costumes are not accurate

GO CELLO MAN GO

KK reads queer AF

Oh boy does Darcy need a better barber

Good fun line dances those. I actually know (knew? it’s been a good long while) one of those

Brutal Darcy, brutal. It’s not like you’ve got much to offer bar money right now

Rekt Darcy, KK has your number, cynic she may be

Look. their environment reads cute giggling girls, but that shot reads fucking. Especially with KK’s queercoding earlier

Jeez youre miserable Mrs Bennett. And a miserly old sod

Again, KK dashing off to her lover. Yes, its her sister I suppose, but have you ever met someone who drops everything to walk the obviously non-trivial distance because your family got sick, especially when its a minor sickness and theyre with people already?

Darcy still looks trash. KK, you could have done something with your hair at least, the travelling clothes are excusable however.

Darcy is already smitten, what a hopeless man. But then again, KK

Mr. Bingley you are sorely lacking in the competent vocabulary department arent you. Mayhaps you should read more of those books instead of riding out all the time

Come on lassy, what did you think was going to happen when you throw something into a marching parade? They’re military at that, not gonna step an inch out of line

Whats her name is a piece of shit that really likes showing off to her ‘lessers’ doesn’t she? And yet willing to parade the girl he’s smitten for the sole purpose of antagonizing him. Now that's a nigh familial relationship

Oooh excellent framing and reading of the good v. evil and angel/devil shoulder relationship in that shot. You could easily pump out 500 words on those few seconds alone

Why is she all in dark tones? Or is she the one the mother is calling plain all the time? How rude

Brutal mumma bingley. Don’t taunt those with more money than you could ever dream of in life when you rely on them for your daughters

Ah Mary is the black sheep I see. Now the attire fits the persona

“And I shall never wash this hand again...”

Why do almost all the men use so much vocal fry? It’s such an ugly sound

So many of those words could so easily be construed as butt jokes. Well done to the writers to so instantly make Mr Collins a remarkably adjunct man

Buddy. Buddy. If you’re gonna practice, be better. Yikes. You have so little clue about women. Im not expert but even still. Buddy.

He says with such a pretty ribbon adorning his own hair. At least he knows how to fish for compliments and seek the ladies favour

Darcy you are so jealous, so so jealous

You spin a pretty web soldier man, but you are transparent as day

Your lightness of foot you say, and yet you concentrate so dearly and likely tread so very hard. Unless youre the consort and your lady patron has a foot fetish

Ah, now Mr Darcy, that is how to tread lightly whilst dancing. But he is definitely no attendant of small talk

You could smile Darcy. You’d be much more amicable

Ooh but i do like the cinematography of having them alone in the room

No KK, Bingley is absolutely a fool and you need to help him out for the sake of your sister/lover

Ah poor Mary. I share your resentment of the crowded public gala

Mr. Collins, pay your attentions to Mary, for it is clearly apparent she would be the only one who would be happy to have you

Awww Papa, you are a good man

Why do they always use white sheets? White seems terribly inconvenient for all involved, a grey of some sort would likely be far more suitable

KK you are a clever and perceptive girl. How unfortunate that most of your family do not share that trait

If the ladies are all that old (or approaching), they surely do not act it. I retain my preference to age them as younger to more suitably fit their demeanours. Whether that be a stain upon the director is another debate that I do not feel like considering at this time

...why is there a boat in the middle of your, well, what appears to be sty/stable?

Ah it seems to be representative of a portrayal of seasons

Holy shit collins is hopeless

Jesus man have some decorum and present yourself properly, you are not a dog to be whipped. Or are you? Is that your purpose to your lady patron?

Can’t sit next to your wife? What??

Gosh you have little time for social decorum KK. You and Darcy are sure to do fine once he becomes less of a twat

Awww you’re trying. But maybe try a little less hard, especially on those gloves

I’m glad there was no angry kiss there, despite the constant framing

May you be no judge of my character from hearsay until you know of the truths behind them. I admire that.

Poor Jane. Though, she’ll likely be set up with him again

Not sure how I feel about the Lydia scene.

I know you’re trying to spare her feelings, but tell the poor lass

Ah yes, the ever classic painting of women which are in fact merely men with tits. You think the artists would ever do an anatomy study, but I suppose that might have been improper then

Oh a clever re-rendition of the piece she played badly before. Coincedence? I think not!

Oh thats a pretty hairstyle

Awww she’s cute. She just wants her brother to be happy

RIP Lydia. But off goes Darcy to help find her methinks

Holy fucking shit is thier mother such a narcissist.

Bingly, boy, you need a life coach. Darcy is NOT who you need to go to for advice

But that is a good way to reintroduce yourself

KK needs a hug

I am surprised he is merely sihlouetted in fog and not on a hill crest with the sun rising behind him, but I suppose that would be a contrast to his character. Also, I want a coat like that

On the other hand, KK with a solar halo? Good cinematography

Still no kiss? I adore it

Hey smile is so cute! God I love her

Cute old man too :)

This concludes my liveblogging thoughts

[jungblue]

UGGHHH why did the oc have to be so stupid and let JIMIN retrieve the notebook for herrrrr!!!! She should've remembered that that's the wrong one!!!! Ugh it's making me so emo but I understand that it was for the best....😭😭😭😭😭😭

lolol like don’t get me wrong i’m glad that jimin found out bc he totally deserved to know that his girlfriend was a lying cheater… but like bro if you’re gonna cheat don’t allow your boyfriend to hold the notebook full of poems written by the person you’re cheating on them with. like maybe that wasn’t a smart move on your part lmao. but honestly when she was just like oh i can grab the right notebook before he gets to the really incriminating bits!!!! i was like bitch you’re fucking dumb!!!!! lol

Anonymous said: The cheating fic took a piece of my soul I finished it in one sitting. But tbh Sohee at the end got A LITTLE TOO CRAZY like I had the innate urge to slap her. Some part of me hoped the reader would end up with JK, but alas I.T was not so. Also, she pined for jimin at the very end, which was contradictory to the whole ending of “loving yourself first”. BUT ANYWAYS STILL BALLED MY EYES OUT AT 5 AM

no same when that happened with sohee i was like… alright?? get trapped in a loveless relationship??? go off i guess??? like i know why she did what she did but i also don’t understand why she would wanna be with someone that doesn’t wanna be with her. and i think that the thing with jimin at the end happened more so bc she’s lonely, not bc she doesn’t love herself. like you can love yourself but feel the effects of loneliness. like it’s been 4 years since that whole incident and in a single instant she lost her best friend, her boyfriend of 2 years and the guy she was in love with. like that’s gotta be hard on the soul lol. i mean not that she didn’t bring that upon herself, but still i get why she was feeling lonely at the end lol

Anonymous said: TAY i just finished reading Right of Way and i jUST— i feel exactly the same like you, like this fic wrecked me up that much?????? I couldnt even cry bcs i was so mad that the OC ended up alone?? I know it was fucking wrong but i lowkey hoped that Jungkook and the OC would end up together… i just felt theyre perfectly fit…. Anyway the last time i felt like this was when i read a fanfic called “Vow”, its also a cheating!au, im wondering if u ever read it…

no same it’s like i know that i shouldn’t like them together but i’m also like i get ittttt and i don’t wanna get it bc then i’m sort of justifying their terrible behavior. but no i haven’t read vow. who’s it by?

Anonymous said: i just finished the cheating fic (its almost 4am here sigh) and i agree with you about the whole feeling sorry for them even after they did such horrible things and all that but. uh sohee’s pregnancy trap made me pissed. like, jk deserves some obvious shit thrown his way but. i feel bad for the baby ?? that whole plan of hers just put me off so much. i d k

yeah exactly i was like alright jungkook deserves some sort of revenge but i honestly just hate the pregnancy trap trope. it annoys me to a very high degree. honestly that’s the only part of the story that i could’ve done without. though it definitely happens in real like so i can’t be too upset about it

Anonymous said:i just finished reading ROW becof you. And I just really really loved it! Yes, I want me(yup I was imagining myself as the OC who doesnt) to have a happy ending, but realistically, not with jimin and jungkook. I hurt them too much and FCK THERE ARE TIMES THAT I WANT TO STRANGLE MYSELF FOR CHEATING BEC HOW CAN A HUMAN CHEAT ON JIMIN THE ANGEL?I just love how realistic everything was. I didn’t want it to end. I need more fics like this. ROW also is the 1st fic I read in Ao3. Suggest me more :(

ON TOP OF THAT, I was listening to The Truth Untold on loop the entire time I was reading it and when I broke things off with JK, his part on TTU where he sang “but I still want you” fucking ripped me off.. Also jimin’s “I still want you” in the killed me too what a fucking roller coaster

yeah it was very realistic which was why the ending hurt so much :(( but i have a lot of ao3 recs but they’re mostly m/m. row was actually the first reader insert fic i’ve ever read on ao3, so if you want more of those i unfortunately can’t be of much help ;;;;  and jxnsajdnl why would you do that to yourself lol. that fic is too sad to pair with that song 

Anonymous said: Fksnofkn I just read Right of Way and feel as if my heart was ripped out of my chest and then punched repeatedly. What makes it even worse is that we all know this is how Jimin was feeling when he discovered the truth :( idk I’ve been an angst binge lately and so, this was a wonderful recommendation! If you’ve recovered lol (bc I sure haven’t) or want to read something else similar to Right of Way (I enjoy piling on the angst sometimes lmao) I just finished Comfort Inn by joonbird and recommend!

i know i had a lot of emotional turmoil afterwards i was just like why??? do i feel so numb??? and thank you for the rec!

Anonymous said: Babe I binged read the entire ROW and I’m now in bed sobbing oh god everyone is hurting and good god so am I HAHAHA the ending was so realistic and I think that’s why it was so painful WHAT A RIDE

like i say i love angst and i honestly do but i like angst where the journey is hurtful but the ending is nice jxjsdalnjs lol

[kitaryu]

an open letter @osavior

firstly, i want to make it very clear that my intention in this post is not to attack daisy, also known as the popular mercy blog osavior (previously valkiriya, and serenidae before that), but rather to spread the truth. the intention of this post isn’t to hurt her, but to increase the awareness of people who have no idea what she’s done and decide for themselves what to do from there. all urls, names, discord tags, and aliases shown here are done so with permission - those that requested anonymity were blocked out. colors remain consistent with people throughout all screencaps, so as not to confuse anyone. in this post ill be discussing how daisy has directly catfished mun photos, lied about being a med student, potentially lied about her age, potentially lied about having cancer, manipulated several people and tried to turn multiple unaffiliated people against each other.

before i get into the details, i want to establish that i considered myself very close friends with daisy some time ago (here is proof, if you need it. there are posts upon posts upon posts of interaction both ic and ooc between us in which we both make our affiliation with each other very clear). therefore, none of this is shown out of any sort of petty jealousy towards her, but rather as a way to open peoples’ eyes. whether you choose to continue interacting with her or not is up to you, but please at least keep this post in mind. with that being said, let’s continue:

catfishing

beginning with the most concrete claim, multiple people have said that daisy has posted fake images of herself. in fact, she took it from specific sources, which i will provide in a moment. while i couldnt find any posts of her putting up her “mun pictures” (i believe she deleted them after people mentioned it), many who there at the time can confirm that she did post pictures. for those of you that remember, here is @beijide​ (andy) finding the source she took her pictures from:

andy isn’t the only person who saw them, however. multiple people mentioned it:

we’ll come back to the last screenshot later, but here are four people specifically who remember her using the photos from this instagram and this pinterest, run by the same person. you can ask any of the three of us who have opted out of anonymity if you want to confirm that she posted those photos, or anyone else who remembers it. “but, wait,” you might say. “what if daisy really is the person who runs this blog?”

at first, it’s easy to say that she is. after all, her area of living, according to her old skype account, is the same as this woman’s. however, the owner of mod med blog’s real name is mary ella wood, very publicly announced. it’s no secret. daisy’s real name, however, is leonie - a name she used to go by, back when i first met her in october of 2016 (she gave herself an alias after a little while and then changed it multiple times afterward). what’s more, daisy claims to be a medical student. what kind of medical student has enough time to run a popular instagram, pinterest, and on top of that, a very powerful roleplay blog for tumblr? i think i’ve made my case for this part.

lying about education and potentially age

well, just because she lied about her photos doesn’t mean she lied about being a medical student - but there is evidence to support this, as well.

a year ago, when i spoke to daisy on a daily basis, she said that she was six years into med school:

only a little while before this, she claimed to be graduating in about a year:

please note the date on this screencap. october 20, 2016, she says she has about a year left. at the time of posting this, it is november 10, 2017, and her rules, which have only recently been updated (as she just remade her blog within the past few days) claim that she is still a full-time college student:

the text on this is very small, but it says: “gonna make this short and simple.

i’m a full time college student. i will not always be active !”

she also claims to be 20 years old at the time, so 21 now:

however, if daisy was in med school for 6 years as of the time she sent these messages, that means that she started med school when she was fourteen years old...which is literally impossible. so, how old is she?

honestly speaking, i don’t know how old she is. however, she has given some unintentional hints.

in the last screencap, daisy is talking about her mom asking when she’ll get married. so, we know that her older half sister is 20, so she can’t be any older than that, which proves that she can’t possibly be a med student in her 6th year of college.

but just because she isn’t in her 6th year doesn’t mean she’s not a med student at all. however, her work ethic doesn’t at all match what is required out of a med student:

but, wait, that doesn’t sound right. typically, med students are known for being hard workers - and there’s a reason for that.

remember where she said that her gpa and grades were terrible? yeah. i dont have any way to specifically disprove her being a med student (though she can’t be in her sixth year) but at this point, it’s very doubtful.

manipulation and hypocrisy

now that i’ve proven the basics about her, let’s move on. there is so much to talk about here, and honestly speaking, this section and the last are the main points of the whole post - because the body count of daisy’s grasp is terribly large, to the point where i have counted 9 personal victims, including myself, and that’s just who i know about.

so, let’s begin with her direct manipulation:

she was talking about playing heroes of the storm here, because oni genji had just been released, back when he was a promotional event exclusive. this is pretty direct, honestly, because it’s so passive aggressive it hurts - but i had just gotten home from a marching band competition. i was really tired.

don’t get me wrong, wanting attention and nice comments once in a while is fine. there’s nothing wrong with that. but getting upset because you specifically asked for compliments? baiting me to send you compliments? what’s even worse is that multiple people sent things, and were often ignored:

i would send things, too. i sent a lot of nice things, and she would ignore them and then say that no one sent anything.

i poured so much love into my relationship with daisy. i absolutely adored her, and i told her that all the time, over skype, over asks, anon and not. i wrote with her every day, i spoke to her every day, i talked about headcanons and life stuff and shared my joy and pain with her, because i loved daisy. she was one of my best friends for a long time, and as much as i would like to say that maybe, she was just venting to me, she made her feelings very personal. so...

...how in the world did she get this idea? why did she think it was okay to make this personal? it definitely seems like she was trying to get me to talk to her more, or maybe even to only talk to her. i dont know.

she had been baiting me to ask what was wrong for about five minutes if i remember correctly, and then in an effort to respect her privacy, i let her be, and offered my support in case she needed it, where she instantly took the opportunity to complain about how little i spoke to her despite the fact that i spoke to her on a daily basis. whats more, a large portion of my inactivity when it came to speaking to people was that i was constantly exhausted because of marching band, and also because i had so little time outside of it.

i’ll address it more in the next section, but this mercy (we’ll call them red) was constantly under daisy’s scrutiny. on top of that, she was very subtly hinting two things - the first being that i shouldnt even so much as think about complimenting another mercy, and the second being that i should give her compliments, instead.

why is she trying to act like i’m some sort of popular jock here? daisy has always been a more popular blog than me. and that never really bothered me, because i liked her, at the time, but i still have no idea what sorts of “things i was included into,” because there really wasn’t...anything. i’d play overwatch a lot with my friends, but that was genuinely about it, and was more due to the fact that i played the game every day, with or without people to play with me.

as for the shipping, i never even had that many ships. i had one with her, one with bibi, one with michael, and before she deleted her widow, one with tay...and thats really it. she shipped a lot more often than i did, but she would drop her ships and blame it on the other person (which i’ll get to here soon). daisy has been through tons of ships and i spoke to a good amount of people she used to ship with when gathering information for this post. they were the ones abandoned.

not only does this imply that she’s a perfect angel who is wronged for no reason, but it also shoves the idea that you dont have the right to unfollow people for whatever you wish. you are under no obligation to keep following people. even if there is no reason at all to unfollow someone, that is your choice. you do not have to follow anyone you dont want to follow.

this was honestly one of the most direct and passive aggressive things she ever sent to me. i was tired, i had just woken up from about an hour (i think) accidental nap after a stressful day of marching band (which was always very tiring), i was very groggy, and she had the gall to say this right to my face.

its still so strange to me. i remember being confused when she said this, but i didnt say anything...but i have never heard anyone say anything like this. more often, youre asked how you cant like children, or told its different when theyre your own, or told that you will learn to like them and change your mind.

this is still confusing considering the fact that daisy has been arguably the most popular blog in the fandom for a very long time. tons of people liked her, and i know i, at least, absolutely adored her. plus, no one, from my knowledge, has ever called her crazy. no one has called her deranged.

probably the most ironic thing she ever said to me? this. because, i dont know how many of you are aware of this, but daisy dropped me. she quite directly replaced me for another genji blog because i “wasnt active” even though i actually was on this blog, slowly coming back to it with some lowered amounts of replies because i was a week from graduating high school and my focus was more on that than on doing my drafts. and she didn’t just do this to me - she did it to multiple people, as i’ll touch on later in this post. here is what it looked like when daisy dropped me:

considering daisy was always going on about how she didnt want people to replace her, this is pretty obviously hypocritical.

she was talking about people who had dropped me as mains before, here. she says here that i was the longest friend she had and her favorite and her number one (while dropping me? lmao) but after this conversation, she talked to me exactly once, one message, and she never spoke to me again. she never tried. she deleted me off of skype (i never deleted her, so while i cant message her on skype, i still have access to everything we said over it) and we unfollowed each other on tumblr after some time and we never spoke again.

this is the one and only time ill say this publicly: daisy was the reason i went on an indefinite hiatus. i was tired of being dropped (it was the third time i had been dropped so that someone could main another genji, or at least it seemed that way at the time) and it hurt me a lot. i was tired of it. i was tired of getting replaced over and over again.

daisy was talking about how she didnt ever have a real relationship (romantically) and when i tried to explain to her that romance is glorified and she shouldnt value herself based on that, she turned my words completely around. my mom used to do this all the time when i lived with her. it is extremely manipulative.

the funny thing about her trying to convince me to send her stuff here is that i basically liked every one of her starter calls. i would send her almost every meme. i would give her anons and talk to her all the time. she would constantly get things from other people and ignore them:

and then she would complain about people not sending things.

she only apologized for things she said to me when looking for attention for it, or at least it seemed that way. she would purposely say shes not okay vaguely so that i would ask her what was wrong and comfort her, which is the same problem im currently having with someone else - but that’s a different situation.

daisy used her illness as an excuse all the time. she would blame anything toxic or manipulative that she was called out for on her bpd, and the only time she apologized for anything, it was extremely self-deprecating - she clearly wanted me to pity her, despite the fact that she had just fucked me over.

and then there’s this. daisy spoke about this a lot - basically, any d.va ship was considered borderline pedophilia to her. she wanted people to tag their ships with large age gaps, but really, considering she was okay with around a 20-30 year age gap between mercy and soldier but not with a 7 year age gap between d.va and lucio, it was less about age gaps and more about d.va specifically. in fact, she specifically mentioned in her rules that she wanted any and all d.va ships tagged, but didnt specify anything else at all. and considering she claims to be only a year older than d.va? considering daisy was talking to an eighteen-year-old? d.va is a fully matured adult, whether she still occasionally acts immaturely or not. ffs she is in the south korean military. she has a career, and one that requires a lot of mental preparation, at that.

before her mental illness is used as a shield for her, however, whether by her or anyone else, please read this post and this post.

potentially lying about cancer

daisy never spoke often about this, so i’m not entirely certain, but there are definitely things that dont add up here. remember the mention of skin cancer earlier?

well, i always felt it too personal to ask her more about cancer, but out of everything she told me of her own volition, daisy did tell me a few things that didn’t quite make sense.

she is pretty clearly saying that she’s had chemotherapy here. she says she had cancer.

i dont know about most people, but when i had a benign tumor in my brain and needed neurosurgery to remove it (a pituitary adenoma, for those of you who know what that is. my case was apparently extremely rare because it was a tumor inside of a cystic mass, but it was necrotic and not cancerous), i was not okay with tumor jokes. it took a year and a half, maybe two years, for my parents to stop joking about it, and i wasn’t okay with them making humor out of something like that. but, what really doesn’t make sense is this:

she says here, november 23, 2016, that she has only been in remission a month.

but she says here, 5 days earlier, that she is donating blood (and has donated multiple times before), that she is healthy.

i dont know what the specific requirements are, but i know that despite me being physically healthy now (at least as far as illnesses and whatnot are concerned), i was never allowed to donate blood (or plasma) because i took hormone regulation pills as a result of my tumor. if blood drives wont accept someone who takes a hormone regulation pill to stabilize their prolactin levels, why would they accept blood from someone who literally had chemotherapy? someone who supposedly had skin cancer?

im not the only one, either, though. one of the people she claimed replaced her (again, other way around) found out that she was faking cancer, too, and their friend apparently had evidence, though they didnt think people would believe them - which is understandable, considering daisy is an extremely influential figure in the overwatch rp community.

turning people against each other

here is quite possibly the part most directly affecting people. on multiple occasions, daisy would turn people who were completely unaffiliated against each other. people who had never met, or at least never spoke much.

i was talking to @beijide about the upper screenshot, because when daisy dropped andy for another widowmaker, she vague posted about andy (who, mind you, has a hard time speaking with people personally, though they found it understandably easier to jump into a group conversation) the whole time. andy summed up their situation pretty well when i showed them what daisy said to me - though it’s only a guess, and she may not have been talking to me about andy specifically.

and then, later:

she pretty clearly says here that this person (ill call them orange, for the sake of this post) replaced her. i didn’t know orange at all, but with this, daisy convinced me to avoid them. i was under the impression for a year that orange dropped daisy - but in reality, when i spoke to them, they explained the truth:

daisy ostracized people from the entire fandom on multiple occasions - not just once or twice, but all the time, because she found someone better or because they werent active or just because they played the wrong character.

at first, i wasnt going to say anything about this situation. i wasnt going to talk to anyone about what she did to me, even though it hurt, because i thought that the only thing she did was replace me - just a problem to do with me, nothing to hurt other people. i didnt realize just how detailed everything she did was.

and i’m not the first to make a post, either. red (remember when i mentioned them earlier?) tried to make a callout for her before over the same things and was written off as a jealous mercy who faked evidence to make daisy look bad:

this was after daisy had already turned me against red early in our friendship by convincing me that red had stolen headcanons from her:

i’ll come back to this last bit shortly.

she convinced me that red was stealing her headcanons - even though these headcanons are fairly common for mercy players, since she has a certain air about her. i tried to find red to ask them about the truth of the situation, but was unable to find their blog. from my knowledge, they have since left the overwatch community.

later, she sent messages which very intentionally ostracized red:

and then, regarding the callout red made:

but red is hardly the only person who got turned against as a result of her. she also turned against @climxtologist, who was originally her friend, when talking about red:

when i spoke to nicole, however, she told me the truth of what happened.

even if it had only been orange, red, and nicole who had been ostracized by daisy, it would be far too many - but unfortunately, her body count doesn’t end there.

i don’t know specifically who she was talking about here, because there were many stories she told that sounded like that, but i had an idea when i was speaking to orange. i started speaking to nikki about everything daisy did, and though he wasnt directly victimized by her, he felt the affects of having friends who were, as well as being a mercy when daisy made sure that other mercy players would never get so much attention:

daisy, despite saying that she wouldnt keep people from rping or interacting with other mercy players, subtly kept them from ever talking to them. in fact, i was talking about it on discord, too:

i didnt want to upset daisy by talking to other mercy players, and i know that i wasnt the only one who felt this way. she was extremely possessive of her mains:

yet, although she would get upset when anyone else talked to another mercy, she spoke or interacted with other versions of someones muse all the time. so why was she allowed to talk to other genji players when i couldnt talk to other mercys?

she even got extremely nasty about people who i used to main who i had thought dropped me (the circumstances were a bit different when i actually got around to talking to them about it, so my disposition here is pretty gross as well, admittedly, and i dont have any excuses for it):

she was extremely rude about red, who she had never actually held a conversation with. she directly called red a trashbag, called all of their friends trashbags, and claimed no one liked them or their blog, as well as calling it irrelevant. that’s nasty.

but possibly the worst is when she tried to turn me against one of my mains, and closest friends:

i really should have stood up for bibi here, but i was too scared to upset daisy about it. when i spoke to bibi about it, they said this:

yes, she said that void was in the wrong for what they did - but she also spoke about them like what they said to bibi wasnt that bad. and that isn’t okay.

conclusion

daisy pretty explicitly manipulated and lied about a lot of things, including things that would actively harm other people. i am not telling anyone to stop interacting with daisy, but i want people to be aware of everything shes done, because she is actively harming other people, and if anyone decides to break off contact and interaction with me about this, i understand completely. please do not attack or send hate to daisy, as that is not the intention of this post. it is not created for retribution. it is not made for revenge. it was made to protect people and give them the knowledge to make their own decisions.

also this was really funny to me:

[runearcana]

Because there are so many parallels between my life and Terezis life, when I recall Homestuck, look at fan creations, ect, I find myself there. Somehow that chapter of my life makes sense. but its also frustrating. Sometimes I feel like Andrew Hussie scried on me and it scares the shit out of me. Also, it adds to the difficulty of moving forward by dwelling on that chapter of my life and I cant see a future for myself.

It definitely helps me sort out my emotions, though. It also helps me see from other perspectives.

Terezi is a troll that many people seem to like. It boggles my mind because I dont think I am likable. I feel happy and flattered people like that version of me, but my real life self is ignored/neglected/unseen by others.. pretty typical.. but.. just strange to me.

How do I describe the differences between us, though?

Terezi embraces her insanity and feels at home speaking her mind and her friends like her for it. Shes probably seen as smart, I guess? People typed her as ENTP afterall.. [Karkat is the ENTP, not me. >.>] She stands up to and insults/mocks Karkat when hes an asshat. I dont know that I could do that, although I really wish I could.

I embrace my insanity, but I rarely if ever speak my mind and even though Im mischievious and fun-loving.. Im quiet and have seen myself more as a background character in their lives. I dont think Im smart. I dont know how to let loose around them. [by them, I mean Karkat, Kanaya, Rose, and some of the others.] I could be myself around Dave and Gamzee though. The thing is, too, Dave and Gamzee [and Kanaya] are my age, but the others are older. I went to the same schools with Dave, Gamzee, and Kanaya. [Aradia too, but she wasnt part of the core group.]

Despite my membership in the group never being vocally disputed, I never really felt like a real member of the group.

I keep wondering why things turned out this way. Why did they show mercy to me, when they didnt to some of the others they kicked out..? 

I ultimately walked away. Dave was passive-aggressively gate-keeping all my old pals from me [or maybe they requested he did this], and it was heartache to be around Karkat anyway so I just left.

Theyre all terrible communicators if you ask me, if Dave always had to speak for them. -.-

Theyre happier without me in their lives, though, so thats something. I still care about all of them, although Dave is seriously on my shit-list right now. I dont know how to think about him without feeling angry and indignant. Im trying to sympathize with him so hard, but heres the thing.. Dave feels so much self-pity for himself already that its ridiculous. Hes the biggest fucking buzzkill alive. Hes like my mom and thinks because bad stuff happened to him that the world should revolve around him and he doesnt have to change his obnoxious, unlikable behaviors. Every one else is the problem, it couldnt possibly be him, hes an innocent angel who doesnt have a selfish bone in his body, apparently. LOL.

Although.. maybe people in the group saw me as more of a buzzkill than him because I was *emo*.. I didnt throw temper tantrums though and demand that I get my way and make my problem their problem. The one time I disrespected Dave was after he had let his crush on me become imprinted into my mind, that his feelings were MY responsibility. He was so out of control that KARKAT, someone I really thought was smart and admirable accused me of leading him on.

How am I supposed to deal with that? How are Daves unrequited feelings for me MY FAULT?!

And Karkat said I was manipulative to everyone too. [lol.. another parallel I forgot to add to the other post.]

I dont see myself as manipulative, or at least not more manipulative than anyone else. v.v its pretty upsetting to know thats what he thinks of me.

the thing is, I know how to read most people really well.. there are definite advantages to that.. but everyone is manipulative and selfish in some way. Dave throws temper tantrums, I focus on win-wins.

You know, honestly.. I think if I were to let myself pity or sympathize with Dave, Id be back in that boat of being miserable. I associate him with a friend with unrequited feelings for me, and by itself itd be fine, but even Karkat was blaming me, saying his heartache was my fault.

so i got into the habit of pretty much ruthlessly reminding him im not interested. because i tried telling him plenty of times.

i can be flirtatious. i can send mixed messages. i dont mean to. but its not like im intentionally leading him on and sending mixed messages. the thing is.. i want him to stay my friend. [it was ultimately clinginess, but in a way Dave didnt prefer.] i guess thats why im flirtatious with him. maybe its unnecessary. I wish karkat could have seen that in me, and encouraged me and given me the benefit of the doubt. he could have reassured me that Dave would remain friends with me and I would have 100% listened to him.

the whole situation would have been immediately resolved right then and there. i would have seen how my crush on karkat parallels Daves crush on me, and wed all be best buds forever. 

but i wasnt valuable to them ultimately.

i guess i sent the wrong message and destroyed my own reputation in their eyes forever.

it is what it is, as karkat likes to say.

[wingedhumanoid-remade]

@wings-united because you’ve blocked me and I can’t reply to your messages. which is hilarious.

Oh i reallllllllllllllyyyyy am loving this. Are you actually reading um, anything im saying? Lets start with celocanths becuase you apparently didn't do any fucking research. Celocanths. dont. have. more. than. four. limbs.  Neither do any other devonian fish. I said it really slow so you'd understand. The "limbs" you are referring to is called a "limb-like appendage," heres some photos so you can grasp this concept.

See how that worked? The other fins do not even vaugly fuction as limbs, cause theyre not.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limb_(anatomy) "Limbs are jointed." "one of the projecting paired appendages (such as wings) of an animal body used especially for movement and grasping but sometimes modified into sensory organs." You dont look at fish, see their fins and go "HEY the've got more than four limbs!!!!" Come on. Ok, so now that that god awful excuse of a "rebuttal" is out of the way. My earlier statement still stands (hint because its a law of evolution) How did we evolve another fully functional limb. N other species on earth at the complexity above like, an amoeba, has EVER EVOLVED A NEW LIMB. Tell me, Kah.  So why do you think avians would grow new limbs? ell me exactly how the limb developed. "Evolution doesn't get to make whole new mechanisms out of whole cloth. Note that both bats and birds had to sacrifice their hands to make wings. Evolution didn't just tack on wings. Their arms and hands gradually changed into wings. They re-used the basic existing structures and pectoral muscles. It's a hack. Evolution is always a hack." "The only mammal to successfully gain true flight are bats, and they have been diverged from the rest of the mammalian tree for 100 million years. We just have not been evolving for long enough, and more importantly we have been evolving to fill a completely different evolutionary niche than the one filled by flying animals. It is basically impossible for evolution to change trajectories so drastically on such short notice." Why would the avian ancestors  "need" wings? What sort of circumstances could occur that would drive us to need wings that are not already resolved by us having exceptional creativity and cooperation between our kind? Evolution just doesn't work the way you're looking at it - "it would be nice if we had wings, so let's evolve some".  Even if wings were needed for the survival of the species, extinction is a MUCH more likely outcome.  (hy didn't the dinosaurs ALL just become tiny, so they could survive?  It doesn't work that way.  The ones that HAD become tiny - the ones that eventually became birds - DID survive.  That's how evolution works - you don't evolve what you need, you survive IF you've evolved what you need.)

Avian ancestors did not go from "lump on back" to "wings." Cause for that to happen you need a reason to have the lumps form in the first place, and then STAY there. What purpous would having extra stuff on your back to carry around have? How would that be an evolutionary advantage? "Regeneration is literally the growth, or regrowth of limbs, and it acts on stem cells. Wing growing is a form of regeneration, but it is creating new limbs. How did the gene for those limbs evolve, thats what I'm asking.  I know what regeneration is and it only works if theres a genetic code for those limbs to appear.

"You’re right, evolution edits what’s already there. Like cells, which create and grow things" No organism has ever had evolution start randomly mutating some cells on its back to grow a new limb, or anything even close to that. "My friend. We are not birds, therefore it would be impossible for us to get a pointed face, specialized heart" HOLy shit lmao. You really don't have a grasp on evolution. Theres no. reason??? avians wouldn't  have gotten a more pointed and streamined face shape. I'm not saying avians would just fucking. grow a beak? Im saying they would have become you know, shaped like they were ment to fly?

“To think that Homo Avians (IS, not could be, IS) a thing that would  be possible is simply stupid.” I’m,, holy shit.   You’re essentially telling me that avians aren’t possible and that  i don’t exist. "

HOLY SHIT ARE YOU. Serious?

Oh my god. I'm just stating the fucking facts my dude. Taxonomy is a real thing, and one rule is that organisms with a different amount of LIMBS do not get grouped in the same genus. Sorry? Again, get it through your thick skull. Just cause I say the classification of "Homo Avian"  wouln't make sense, doesn't mean I think growing wings is imposible. How many times am I going to have to write that before you fucking understand?

Hominids are in the superclass Tetrapoda contains the "FOUR-limbed vertebrates known as tetrapods"

https://biology.stackexchange.com/questions/21772/why-dont-mammals-have-more-than-4-limbs https://www.quora.com/Why-arent-there-any-species-of-mammal-with-six-legs https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-any-mammals-have-more-than-4-limbs-Why-didnt-they-evolve-to-have-multiple-legs-or-arms-like-insects http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/vertebrates/tetrapods/tetraintro.html

"Adding a limb, on the other hand (no pun intended), is pretty expensive. You're not just adding a single extra part, but a whole network of additional blood vessels, bone structures, tissues, and what-have-you. These all need additional nutrients and a good set of genes to ensure they work together properly. On top of this, you also need the limb to not be a disadvantage. It needs to be in a useful place anatomically and immediately offer an advantage as soon as the extra limb mutation comes into play. These mutations can occur, but it's vastly more likely that they're a disadvantage. Take frogs, for example. It's not altogether uncommon for frogs to develop extra legs. What usually happens, though, is you end up with a frog that's clumsier and slower and packing more meat. Predators tend to like that sort of thing, so the mutated frogs don't live long enough to produce offspring so that the extra limb(s) could eventually become useful."

= OH boy. Have I been WAITING to roast Project Icarus. 1. "The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s) and members" "Project Icarus is THE ONLY GROUP THAT CANG GROW WINGS, and anyone else who doesn't have the special"gene" i just made up IS TRASH AND HOPELESS"  

2. "The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality" Do I..... even have to say it? "US vs. "The stupid dreamers." Did you see how fast your group turned against us? Immeditly going from "friends" to "I HATE YOU RETARD NONE OF YOU HAVE POTENTIAL AND CANT GROW WINGS" etc...etc...etc... I could go on.

3. “Wouldn’t it be exciting to really know the secrets of being an avian?” HOLY SHIT. THATS LITERALLY HOW PROJECT ICARUS WORKS. "We, PI, are the ONLY group who knows the SUPER SPECIAL METHOD and the real SCIENCE of growing wings. All the other group are fucking stupid." My group is exhibiting NONE of those behaviors you’ve just “quoted”.

4. "I’m 100% positive that if someone joined your group and decided that Sahde’s was more logical, you’d threaten them, hackle them, be utmost bitches. " Ooh my god... the IRONY. You mean, hackle them and be utmost bitches like.... when sahde removed me as an admin when I didn't agree with her? When she told me to leave and make my own group cause I wans't going along with your cultlike beliefs? Actually, in my group I'm encouraging you know, actually free thought? As in "we all have differing opinions on how wings are grown, and thats ok." So yeah, good try bud but we aren't going to be like PI was.

5. "You’re making everyone in the group feel guilty and terrible." WHERE LMAO. Me? Me as in IM the one going around calling my members retards and stupid cult members like a child? oh right, thats you :/. Oh and crow, whom you persuaded to go into my group, lie, and then leave after calling us all "a cult full of dreamers." yeah. ok. and then the blocking of course. i've been blocked by almost everyone, expecially you becuase you didn't want to hear what I was saying anymore. I understand blocking oliver, and I do not condone their behavior and I definitely have asked them to stop sending you and the others edgy messages. I have not sent any one of my members to go yell at anyone from PI cause I have some common decency. You can talk to them if they hurt your feewings.

As if you and Ro are some holy angelic saints who are never mean uwuwuwuwuwu. if you're felling guilt, maybe theres a reason.

6. "invites random people to attempt to grow wings who will never grow them" You mean like.......................................................... you? sahde? ro? whom have never grown wings yet and not even proven their own ""theory?""" yeah......... thats smart. remember when sahde lied abut having wings?that was fun. remember? not cult-like at all.

We don’t let in random ppl, we haven't let anyone in. All my group is made up of ex-pi members who were tired of the bullshit. I gave them the option to leave and didn't force any of them to stay.

7. "The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader" GOD this is really funny. sahde can explain this one to you, shes already gone on a rant about it before.

8. " Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished." ajhsbasjdhgjaskdashkjahfjhfldsjfh

http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm

tdlr. i could do this all day. i know you’re never going to admit “hey maybe im wrong, my theory doesn’t make sense in terms of evolution” because you think you’re so smart and are again, full of yourself.

Please. Actually acknowledge the science instead of spouting bullshit.

[justintimbershit]

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?XO - John Mayer Cabaret - Justin Timberlake Lights On - Shawn Mendes Bad Habit - The KooksHow Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran You’re Gonna Llive Forever in Me - John Mayer

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?literally John Mayer so I can ask him why the FUCK he played XO in Chicago and why that was only the 10th time ever and first and only time of TSFE tour he played it

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“Mom’s stumped us. We had absolutely no idea who she’d dredge” (I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson)

4: What do you think about most?how terrible life is and then how much i wanna die tbh

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Jena should i get dropped off at your house then we can go get joe & julie?” IOWA TOMORROW FOR ED :DDDD

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?always w shirt but no pants lol

7: What’s your strangest talent?hating life as much as i do idk i have no talent

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)girls r hot n nice boys r hot n mean

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?yeah bc we were in love lol :(

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? idk i usually dont

11: Do you have any strange phobias?feet, being alone but also being in large crowds, idk theyre not very weird

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?no?

13: What’s your religion?idk man none atm prob

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?looking forward to going inside. but working and therefore reading.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind bc i am ugly lol

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?um probably panic at the disco but then also the killers

17: What was the last lie you told?“its fine” bc no it is not fine i wanna fight

18: Do you believe in karma?ya i think so. maybe

19: What does your URL mean?i like Justin Timberlake and also swearing

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?weakness is probably just who i am as a person and strength is idk i dont have any

21: Who is your celebrity crush?lmao. you say this like i have one. i have many. like thousands.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?nope

23: How do you vent your anger?talk to someone usually

24: Do you have a collection of anything?movie/concert/sporting event tickets and also empty gatorade bottles on my floor

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?phone bc im ugly

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?eh. better than what i was but could be better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?hate is my sisters voice lol love is john mayers voice bc he sounds like a fuckin angel

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i was someone else but not really someone else just like what if i was me with a better life or a differnt life in which things didnt always go so terribly for me ya know

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts maybe but aliens def

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm some paper hanging off my nightstand and left nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?the faint scent of clean laundry and lotion

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?hm.. great question. i feel like ive been to some pretty bad places but i cant recall any???

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?ive never been to either but east coast i think

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?justin timberlake bc hes one of the most attractive men in the entire world

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?bein happy, doin what you want, livin

36: Define Art.something someone creates

37: Do you believe in luck?yes i do

38: What’s the weather like right now?humid i think

39: What time is it?9:41 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?nope to both

41: What was the last book you read?i recently finished “The Upside of Unrequited” and now im workin on “More Than This”

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?no i hate it it makes me nauseous

43: Do you have any nicknames?jules

44: What was the last film you saw?o fuck um fist fight maybe?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?the sunburn i got in florida was terrible bc i couldnt walk for a day so im gonnna say that

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?no :(

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?brandon saad being a chicago blackhawk again, tommy la stella, john mayer, reading gay books

48: What’s your sexual orientation?bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?uuuuum possibly ??? idk

50: Do you believe in magic?nah but also maybe

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?in my mind yes but most of the times my actions dont reflect that especially if its been a while

52: What is your astrological sign?sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?both. i allow myself to spend it as long as i still have a decent amount saved

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?lunch at panera lol

55: Love or lust?neither bc they both suck when ur alone

56: In a relationship?no lol

57: How many relationships have you had?zero

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?nope i am not talented like that

59: Where were you yesterday?yesterday. i think i stayed home all day then me mary and joe hung out and went to get milkshakes at steak n shake

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?the inside of the bra bra sitting waiting to be put away lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?indeed

62: What’s your favourite animal?sloths my fav

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?i dont have one bc if i did ppl would like me, tf

64: Where is your best friend?at home id assume

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.whats tumblr

66: What is your heritage?im italian but i was born here and so were my parents

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?watching an episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia before i showered

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?satan satan

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?yeah lmao who hasnt tho

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?i think so sometimes but other times im the worst person ever idk how i have friends

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?fuck u boss i love dogs and if u hate dogs that much as to not understand the situation i dont wanna work for a dog hater. asshole.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a. maybe probably b. everything ive never done but wanted to c. probably

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.fuck. um. shit. id say love but then u cant trust the person you love so like… but at the same time i love love so much i feel like id die w/o it n ya know i dont trust anyone anyways so im gonna say love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?srsly…..Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC bc i cant be sad listening to that song lolol

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?9077

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?communication n openness

77: How can I win your heart?just be nice to me lol i have low standards

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?yes i do believe so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?buying tickets to see john mayer lol that changed my life so drastically. my life is now pre john mayer and post john mayer. he literally fucking sang xo i will never get over it that will always be the happiest moment of my life im crying while typing this

80: What size shoes do you wear?8 - 9 ½ depending on the shoe

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?‘probably died because she said she wanted to die so often that death got sick of hearing it and killed her.“

82: What is your favourite word?fuck

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.justin timberlake. god im so fucked lol

84: What is a saying you say a lot?'i hate my life’ 'i want to die’ 'u should fight’

85: What’s the last song you listened to?Fools Gold by One Direction lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?turquoise

87: What is your current desktop picture?justin timberlake leaning on a car lookin all hot n shit

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?myself tbh

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?uuuum idk it depends whos askin ya know. id answer certain questions if asked by one peson but not another

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?probably cry and attempt but ultimately fail to go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?flying or teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?when john mayer played XO at my concert obviously

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?losing all the pictures on my computer bc i keep saying im over it but im really not that was the entire past 4 years of my life in pictures and videos and theyre just gone its bullshit

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?oh man. so many. but if i had to choose one justin timberlake. wow bet no one saw that comin

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?literally fuckin no where im seeing ed sheeran in a matter of hours im not leaving. but if it were a different day lol id say amsterdam or boston

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?not that im aware of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?when i was a smol child yea h but not recently

98: Ever been on a plane?when i was a child yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?um lol idk probably nothing tbh i dont wanna be held responsible for whatever happens afterwards

[toomanyskeletons]

magic in spectraverse - infodump

so iv e been meaning to make a post abt this for a while so why not now, when im not even sure how my words are right and if i can think of the right things to say

in spectraverse - well, kind of, there are several spectraverse timelines and none have particular names so i cant really specify which one, we’ll just call it 2 - there are several different kinda of magic, along with subtypes

There are three different casters a being - typically a human, it is unusual for any nonhuman to call themselves a caster - can be, ‘caster’ being the name for the way someone casts a spell. Its a shit name, i’ll pick a better one some other time. Anyway. So, you can cast spells. Some make their own spells, others use books or loose paper or they remember it or whatever. Think of it like baking. You can stick it all in together, and it will always make something. Whether that thing is edible, that varies. Casting is like that, you can put in four whatever the fucks and three bees and you might get a puff of smoke or you might blow up your house. You might have been trying to dye your hair magically. Anyway.

A witch is a caster who draw the power of their spells from the environment - heat, light, feelings. A caster can do basically any spell depending on whatever the fuck they are but often, they are spells that give back. So. If you draw power from say, the sun’s heat, it might be a spell to replenish some part of the environment. I really havent thought this through but i just want to talk soo Witches can cast any spell, but drawing power from the environment can be time consuming and troublesome, so their spells tend to be weaker and- i dont know how to say this properly. I have this nice image all ready but i dont know what its words are. I’d say witches spells tend to be longer lasting? Yeah. Like. You cant draw energy from the environment quickly, but a long term spell being very constantly, slowly replenshed is the sort of things witches excel at. Like, making a plant grow faster, or a love spell, or a happiness spell, or maybe something to increase income - i dont know. Witches arent particularly important at the moment in my story so i havent given them much thought.

At this stage i should probably point out that these are all considered gender neutral. U dont have to be a lady to be a witch, and u dont have to be a dude to be a wizard, and you dont have to be nonbinary to be a mage.

So next up is wizards, who use their own energy. This is the thing that is good for fast acting spells, or things that work in bursts. Setting fires, i cant think of anything else, teleportation, yeah i really have not thought much about this either. Wizards replenish their energy just as any human generally does, sleeping, eating, spending an absurdly long amount of time gambling away your money in Pokemon - okay maybe thats just me but you get the idea.

Wizards are more useful in battle than witches, though armor, cloaks, staffs, etc. Can all have a boost in power by a witch.

Mages are people either born with the natural ability for elemental manipulation, OR people who perform a combination of both witchery and wizardry. Maybe just the latter. I’ll have to think of a name for the former.

There are eight major elements, and beyond those are several subtypes/skills that can only be learnt with particular elements. I havent thought of many of these but i’ll work them out.

So- Water Air Earth Fire Lightning Steel/Metal (i wanted to call it metal but my pokemon loving ass kept calling it steel) Light Dark/ness

Everyone has an element 'assigned’ to them in their genetics, but most people dont have the natural ability to manipulate it. Instead, they may have a few personality traits associated with the element, they might excel in a field of study related to that element, they could just really like that element OR nothing in particular. Like. It affects them in no way whatsoever, which is probably the most common. Also people can kinda teach themselves manipulation but it is Hard.

When you’re a 'natural’ (pretty sure i stole that term from somewhere else but w/e) you will have had the ability to control the element from birth. Natural elemental manipulators tend to have good visualisation skills and decent motor skills, though sometimes they have neither of these things and it ends really fucking badly, because if you cant picture something right you cant control it, and if you cant point your hand where u need to point it, thats bad. Elemental manipulation is largely controlled with visualisation, picturing what you want to do in your mind, but it also has to do with how good you are at controlling your energy. Most people wont be able to say, evaporate all the water from a pool in an instant, actually thats a terrible example for reasons i have not yet explained, give me a moment- Most people wont be able to cause an earthquake the moment they start using magic consciously, and that is because they havent learnt how to control their energy. Some people MIGHT be able to do it, but its more of an “accidental spontaneous energy release’ thing than a 'five year old good at controlli their energy’ thing.

So then you have subtypes. I havent thought of many of these yet, actually im P sure i only have one but lets talk about it anyway.

Temperature manipulation is a subskill of the metal and water elements, largely linked to the control of emotions. Actually, any of the elements that have the states of matter which i am forgetting, will be able to learn this subtype. It means, you guessed it, you cn control temperature. So a water user would then get a sort of sub element of ice, and they can also boil water. Metal users would be able to melt and solidify the metal. It takes time to learn, and oh shit mind blank. Uh.oh right. Speed. So like you might be able to boil water with the ability but u wont be able to do it really fast unless youve practised a lot. Poor emotional regulation + temperature manipulatio can mean Bad because it would lead to the accidental alteration of environemtnt. That was too fancy. Basically u might get road rage and then ur whole fucken car would melt.

Uh also healing? Pretty self explanatory, i havent though abt it much yet, much like everything else in this post.

Humans can also learn magic through objects. Some help to channel energy, some boost it, you can get orbs to give you an extra element, etc.

So then NONHUMANS are so much luckier because magic is like. Their first language. Most nonhumans, or even half humans with ANY nonhuman in them, will find it MUCH easier to learn a second element. Nonhumans have a body built for magic, so like their body can channel energy into multiple elements simulaneously, which is a thing humans find difficult, as they are not particularly made for magic. They still do it though. Nonhumans tend to be manipulators rather than casters, and like i said before, if they are they dont typically use the term caster.

Also, here are some things i forgot to mention/magic which i couldnt work out where to fit in:

- TELEKINESIS: good ole telekinesis. magical story woukdnt be complete without it. Pretty easy for most magical (nonhuman) beings to learn, at a basic level (closing doors, picking up the tv remote bc youre too lazy). You can go further into it and learn how to fuckin slam a dude against a wall like in supernatural. Harder for humans to learn (look i know humans get all this shit but theyre the majority).

-SUMMONING: SUMMON SATAN OR SOME SHIT. first of all, if you summon satan, you will get one of five people who will all tell you that satan is the incorrect term.also, summoning satan isnt particularly powerful summoning magic, it doesnt rely on the user’ s power much, but you gotta give a little blood. Anyway. Summoning is usually assisted by tokens of some sort that depict what you are summonging. Sometimes. To be a summoner u have to make friendship with thingd that CAN be summoned, like angels demons nine tailed fox etc. if it cant talk and make friends then u can generally find their tokens in shops, particualrly when there are a lot of the species existing and they dont exist lhysically outside of the void or something. But sentient beings like demons u goota find, befirend, and then they giv e you their token like some sorta business card. They also can turn down a summon, because they are sentient and if youre sentient it is possible you may be busy.

-TIME POWERS: HAVENT thogubt about this at all but worth a mention. Involves freezing time, travelling time and I FORGOT ABOUT DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL

-dimensional travel: you can travel dimensions, kinda. Ther e is one character who can do this currrently, she uses an unnamed object to help her draw her own power and she can juml timelines and travel different world s without the use of gates, which are often used otherwise.

Anyway thats all i can think of but i am definitely forgetting something

Questions? Comments? Have i made a spelling error? (If thats the case suck it ul u pansy) (there are five hundrrdd spelings here fcukc you) suggestions for another infodump? Want me to stop infodumping? Want to send me hate? I have an ask box and an anonymous button, they are there so you can use them