#like there was so much drama and no i wasnt at the maturity point that i am now and im so glad to be ahead of that phase of life but

[leslie057]

AHH

[grandhotelabyss]

The substack on "seperating the art from the artist" was interesting. But one detail lead me to a question - childrens books.

I know it was mostly used to mock people who don't want to engadge with anything "icky" as the demographic probably likes to say, but still.

So the question is, should books for kids be squeaky clean, be these gardens of eden were no evil shows its head, till they grow into the maturity which will let them confront the barbarity of literature vis a vis reality?

One could already use this as a segway to argue the opposite - that with the amount of adults not being able to deal with literature going against their provincal pseudo-morals, children should be "trained" from young age to not be like that - the point of childhood is paradoxically to grow out of it, even if many dont want to.

But on the other hand, and this may reveal myself to be the object of the previous high-nosed snot shower:

I kinda do feel "icky" when I think about all these kids books that try to be "hehe, I'm gonna show kids the real world!"

Like that Matilda author, forgot his name, I remember a year ago there was some fake drama about censorship which ofcourse was stupid but still

I do feel some kind of spite, that irony, that want to be subversive that goes against the idealised view of childhood.

Or maybe my realistic view - with all the cruelty and unavoidable misery - but that wants me to say, "why expose them to more of it?"

Because intuition tells me that those "edgy" childrens book have a simmilar ethos as a teenaged kid trying to teach a todler swear words, or to do a roman salute or whatever, this corrupting of the innocent for the sake of it.

But maybe this whole ramble is just the result of a Lacanian wish to crawl back into the vomb, my lile of Preussler's books just a want to become the little ghost who just can fly around in his eternal castle never growing up.

Still ofcourse I get that it is absurd to rant against Matilda with all the childrens media going way further in many ways and the fact that even I as a young child easily acceseed stuff I wasnt supossed to.

So maybe I answerred my own question - maybe there shouldnt even be childrens books in the first place, just books that are more and less apropriate for younger and yet younger kids.

(Also they should burn all those obviously on porpuse braindead picture books, you know the type lol)

Yes, as I discussed here, I didn't really read children's books unless made to and don't find it to be all that appealing a category. People thought comic books were like children's books, so I was happily reading Grant Morrison's occult phantasmagoria, Frank Miller's post-apocalyptic reactionary satire, and Alan Moore's Freudian traumatology of the archetypes at the age of five and six—and I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyway, the writers who shifted children's books out of their moralizing paradigm and into neo-modernist aesthetic integrity in the late 19th century tended to be either quasi-pedophiles like Carroll and Barrie or figures like Potter rather deliberately trying to expose children to the tooth-and-claw realities polite society otherwise evaded. Children's primordial innocence was a useful historical construct, the slowly evolving joint work of Christianity and the Enlightenment, and we are rightly suspicious of those who would tamper too much with it today; but it was a historical construct, it has produced its own return-of-the-repressed shadow (it's likely generated as much pedophilia as it's ever discouraged by inventing the taboo to be profaned), and it has been carried to unconscionable extremes of life-aversion and anti-intellectualism in our time (e.g., the "brain" doesn't "finish" till age 25 or whatever other ridiculous scientific myth of permanent incapacity we're supposed to believe based on the latest spate of fake "studies" these days). People are probably just people at any age from the onset of consciousness forward—I am aware of no great shift in the core of my identity since about the age of five and never thought of myself as a child—and, because there is alas no protecting everyone from everything in the end, they should at least be armed with knowledge and cultivation at the earliest possible moment.

[banana-milk-enthusiast]

Clear Card arc is finally done woohooo.....

🌸 SPOILERS BEWARE 🌸

I dont like being negative about this, I really did try to love it. But sitting through 80 chapters over several years just for an ending like that almost feels like an insult.

At least we got more Sakura, Xiaolang, and the og cast because not much else was going for it.

Rambles below I guess

It just felt so aimless all the time, and it was driving me insane. Outside of Sakura and Xiaolang's romantic relationship, there was no growth whatsoever. No one really matured further or learned a lesson or developed their character.

Admittedly I never cared for Akiho from the jump because she felt like she was just a Sakura clone with no personality; and while that ended up being the point due to plot it actually made me dislike her even more. She was literally just a plot device at all times, but the manga acts like you should be endeared to her somehow. Her crush on Kaito also made me more annoyed than anything but thats to me personally.

Kaito annoyed me at the beginning, but as more of his actions were revealed, I started finding him really interesting. But his plan was kinda disappointing ngl, where is the drama??? I literally felt no urgency about the situation because he was so soft that there wasn't even a 1% doubt in my mind anyone would end up hurt. In the end he wasnt even really a final villain.

Just a failed opportunity to make an actual villain. Which now that i think about it is something cardcaptor does very often, and yet Kaito is still the least interesting of the bunch. How is Eriol the child more menacing of a rival character than a mage that masters time magic.

Also, why make Sakura create all those clear cards just to get rid of them at the end. I understand that most of them were redundant, but like it feels like a waste. I actually enjoyed how she used the weirdly specific cards to her advantage. So to just delete most of them sucks. She pretty much keeps Flight and the ones with matches from the Clow cards fused.

And I can't believe i sat through all of that just to toss in some Tsubasa stuff in the end. I like Tsubasa. In super small quantities. But I actually dont want it to bleed into Cardcaptor. that's what XXXHolic is for cmon. Fai's symbol in the magic books, Sakura mentioning passing the clow staff on one day, Syaoran learning to master time magic.... It's too much. Because the whole heritage thing in Tsubasa is easily my least favorite part. It's so unnecessarily convoluted for no reason. I was about to start my Tsubasa rant, let me stop.

It just felt like nothing had happened. 80 chapters of just weirdly convoluted plot with no expense or dire situations. Like idk how to explain how i feel.

But if I read 80 chapters and the only emotions I feel are Confusion and Cuteness (over Sakura and Syaoran); then it's actually really sad. What happened to drama and suspense. Or literally anything about the Hero's journey. Does CLAMP need to go back to english class/creative lit???

I've read a lot of CLAMP works okay. I would even say I'm a fan. But this is probably one of the most boring work they've made. It's not the worst, but honestly, close.

Now, this might just be my childhood rose colored glasses for the og. Or the fact I'm much more familiar with the anime than the manga, which I only read once. I know the anime made many changes, so for all I know, the og manga could've been the same in writing. But I really hope that should the anime return, it cleans up whatever that mess was because I felt like I was slowly going insane during Clear Card arc.

[cosmo-watches-movies]

Gallowglass (1993)

Triggerwarning: Suicide, Physical Abuse, Violence

Summary: Joe (Michael Sheen) was just released from a mental hospital but his foster parents wont take him back home. Desperate and having nowhere to go he attemps to commit suicide but is saved last minute by Sandor (Paul Rhys). Joe is now devoted to his saviour, who uses this to his advantage by further manipulating Joe up to the point where he aggrees to help kidnap a young woman.

Spoilers beyond this

Starting off with a punch in the gut (litterally)

Found this a bit uncomfortable to watch. Not necessarily because its bad, but because is portrays a very abusive relationship between Sandor and Joe. It’s proper fucked up, so that is kinda the point. Joe is almost obsessed with Sandor, constantly excusing his horrible behaviour and actions. You very much believe that Joe would do anything for him. It’s genuinely scary to watch.

Sandor saves Joe

After they successfully kidnap the young woman they where after it turns out Sandor isn’t after a ransom, but is in love with her and wants to free her from her (as he thinks) miserable life. She rejects him which he, after some drama, accepts. However Sandor ends up killing himself the same way Joe tried to earlier, by throwing himself in front of a train. And because he’s a total bastard he does it right in front of Joe. (poor guy can’t catch a break)

Throughout the series are short clips of Joe explaining the events in hindsight This shows a very different aspect of the character it’s almost jarring. But in a good way. You very much get the sense that this whole story scarred him even further, but he also seems more mature and reflected. In the end we see that he might be talking to a therapist (maybe even in a prison?) so I like to think that at some point in his life he manages to set himself free from that past trauma. “Tilly said Sandor was bananas, off the wall, after lunch…there seem to be a lot of words for mad. I told her never to say it. He wasn’t mad, he was just in pain…I know all about that, don’t I?” - fucking shivers down my spine The way he delivered that line, fucking genius. If you dont wanna watch the whole series, watch this one scene it’s so good. (it’s somewhat at the 44 minute mark of episode three)

The performances of the lead actors are way more convincing than I expected, it’s the most interesting part of the whole series imo. Joe starts off already broken and by the end he’s absolutely fucked up. He gets completely corrupted by his saviour to the point of kinda assuming his persona after Sandor died. Thats a pretty interesting dynamic and it left me feeling a bit icky afterwards.

I havent read the book but even with the great performances of the actors something about the story didnt quite capture me. Like the suspense was built up, but the payoff wasnt quite there. Maybe the stakes arent high enough? Idk something about the overall story couldve been pushed a bit more…

Anyway idk if this was Michaels very first time acting in front of a camera, but considering this was very early in his career he did an exeptionally good job. Michael has this way of completely disappearing in his characters its amazing to watch. And it blows my mind that he could do this so well already when he was just like 24 I think?

Joe calls the woman they intend to kidnap "the princess", after a story Sandor told him

His acting combined with Paul Rhys gives a very convincing dynamic. If it wasn’t for them this would’ve been an absolute bore.

Would I recommend watching this? Maybe, If you don’t have a problem going through a few unconfortable scenes and a overall mediocre story. If you absolutely want to see Michael play a very broken, fucked up young man, sure! There’s some good acting in it so at least it isnt boring. Just prepare for violence and some uncomfy stuff.

(Horrible Hair dye job, Sandor)

[dramarising-replacement]

Apologies or something

Okay so like years passed at this point and i never apologized. Im N from earth, the flipper annoying forums kid.

I just wanted to say late sorries for everyone included. CS from arcane, R from ice, P from arcane, BB from lightning, much more people who needed to put up with my bullshit, people who read what ive put up on suggestions forums (lmfao)

First of all, the flipping stuff was ugly as hell. Im impatient by nature and didnt even think about dming CS about it so thought getting rid of the baby would be the best idea (shocking news it wasnt). Ive got angry DMs, then left the server ive met them in cause our conversation lead to nowhere. I felt bad, so i dmed the server owner and got shunned at for misgendering CS (I didnt realize they use he/him and assumed theyre a girl, due to long hair on character from their pfp (which tbh is also really dumb since i used to have long hair, and alot of people that i look up to also do). Then I shown my frustration in another server which got interpreted as bragging (could put it in better words so sorry about it too, moderators of the other server). If i bought back that veilspun from person that bought it i think maybe that wouldnt escalate so hard. Sorry CS for causing you distress and ruining days of people from discord. I wish i wasnt harrassed offsite cause of it.

Also sorry for the regulars of R of ice server and the person ive got banned for fun. I wish i wasnt a burden and just left you guys alone lmao

Next, my suggestion replies were absolute dogcrap. First months ive was thinking them throughough, but then ive got bored and unsupported alot of them for the fun of it. I was a bored kid. Those reasons were absolutely ridiculous too (no halo recolors cause NoT eVeRy ApPaReL hAs ReCoLoRs or no spoons cause dragons could kill eachother with them (while we already have cleavers, shadow apparel, those notn sprite things ive forgot name of). Sorry for people who had to read through the mess ive put up every single time, ive looked up to the other people there but never got a grasp how to be reasonable. Then ive got bored. 

The "suicide bait" was absolutely distasteful, though ive seriously shook while checking FR cause ive just got reminded of all the CS veilspun stuff. This game stressed me for no reason at all for months.

And.. i dont know what else. Ive started thinking about it again months  ago. I guess sorry for the entire site and this place too. I wish i was a more mature kid back then, now im bit older and i think maybe not deranged, bored kid on a site everyone visits to chill at.

TLDR: just an apology for stupid drama that happened 2 years ago. Cause ive got reminded of it.

Not trying to look like a victim or something, just sincere apologies to people reading shitshow a bored 13/14yo me put out.

[mal-lunar-28]

What an unexpected update, lol. I saw that you updated in AO3 and I had to come here to say some shit, you must hate me l always have something to say :(. Anyway, I'm thrilled realy I didn't think you're gonna continue Haven soooo, I'm gonna say that I knew from the start the baby wasnt Minho's, I was hopefully wishing he was but this a story, and what's the fun without a little drama, and plus It doesn't strain from reality for some people.

If I was her and I knew l'm carrying my toxic ex's baby I would combust myself on the spot, I think her friends and Minho contributed a lot to her not getting rid of the baby but like the end of the chapter implies it is a way for her to still be connected to Hyunjin somehow (in a shitty way, really), and I get this is fanfiction and even tho, it is like that, this's close to the real world, like how some people even knowing their exes were shit and they continue to do so, they don't get to cut ties with that kind of relationships as easily as I would Iike, and that's what MC is experiencing, the aftermath of her toxic relationship with Hyun, and a big one, a baby.

Talking about Hyunjin, I hate to see that he continues to have a relationship with Felix, it’s like a reminder that, although he’s a shitty person he still gets to be with someone, however we don’t know how their dynamic is, is Hyunjin still a bad boyfriend? He continues to cheat on his partners? Is he remorseful? Does Felix have some shame, like you’re piece of shit too, after all that happen between Hyunjin and MC does he not see the kind of person Hyun is? But that’s something that you haven’t explored yet if you continue with this series.

Continue with the main couple, I feel bad for Minho, I can see clear as a day how whipped he has been with her since the start, like he has given her all the perfect conditions in a relationship. Likeeee, if I knew my girlfriend cheated on me (technically it didn’t happen like that and he was really understanding of her, he accepted that although they get sort of together at first, they weren’t really together and that it was easy for her to run to Hyunjin at some point, obviously it happened before things get serious between Min and her but it was a shitty thing nevertheless), and got to see his partner have this baby that’s identical to his biological father I’d run and never come back (lies) I know he’s not like that. If it someone in this story that mature and loving is him, Minho, even tho, the baby is a reminder that something as an some type of infidelity happened he accepted it, he even embraced the baby as his, no one that doesn’t love his partner as much as he would do. What does make me feel bad, about the turn that the story had is she realizing that albeit she’s with him, she’s not worthy of him 😭 that broke my heart a lot, like it make question a lot of things, does she love Min? well she obviously does but she hasn’t come to terms with the fact that she has to put to an end to whatever Hyunjin grip has on her for her to be able to move on and be happy with Minho.

And then I asked myself is Minho a second option to her? like that would be really fucked up, he’s completely perfect in this series, he puts her feelings into account and works well with her, does not ask for extra things from her, except for her to love him (even tho you cannot force anyone to love you but you know what I mean) he doesn’t do it in a toxic way 😭😭😭 like I want them to be happy and if you continue with this I have to accept whatever ending you give this couple but I really think she has to work some, a lot (actually) of things and cut ties with Hyun but clearly he still is the baby’s father so she has to do it in a way that’s beneficial for her and her relationship with Minho to be able to thrive).

Obviously I’m conflicted with a lot todo things happening in here but it doesn’t mean that I don’t love this story ❣️❣️ have a great day/night and week and know that I love your writing 🥺

HAVEN. (3) -> Lee Know x Fem!Reader ( she/her pronouns )

summary: Welcome to your future, one you never could have imagined for yourself. Ever. It was only two years ago you and Minho renounced your Haven days, only to get swallowed by diapers and sleepless nights. For once, you think you're finally happy, but nonetheless, he finds you again.

words: 6k

warnings: infidelity themes, babies, no smut (sorry lol), hyunlix, violent themes (one punch is thrown), everyone is just still so toxic will they ever have any peace, if I forgot anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: Not sure how many people will like the turn this took. I don't know why this came out of me, and I don't know why I did such a huge time jump. I love this, however. This feels like an ending, but also like a stepping stone. Not sure this is over yet. ENJOY! xo

“Dada! Dada! Dada!” Is screamed from the high chair beside where you sit pulling apart pieces of banana, tossing them onto the tray for the little boy to eat.

“Baby! Baby! Baby!” Gets shouted back from the dark haired, sweater wearing figure with his back to you. Glancing over his shoulder, Minho smiles at your son, reassuring him he was still there, he was only cooking at the stove.

The house smelled of a mix of sweet and savory breakfast foods Minho had started preparing after you popped your baby in the bathtub. It was Saturday morning, which meant he had the day off- the entire weekend off, actually- leaving him with forty-eight hours to do his favorite thing. Take care of his little family.

When life shifted for the two of you, Minho wasted no time. In a week you were officially moved into his house with some help from Han and Chan, and for a year and a nine months or so, you’ve been living somewhat peacefully in your unexpected happily ever after.

Finding out you were pregnant didn’t come as much of a shock, if anything it became a nuisance. Almost like a reality check, or some type of wake up call, those two pink lines you discovered in Han’s bathroom put everything into perspective.

For nearly the entirety of the pregnancy, you were riding an unpredictable whirlwind of a rollercoaster. It was truly an unforgiving trip, one you never hope to experience ever again.

The chubby cheeks and cheesy smile that was being flashed at you this morning made it all worthwhile, however. Bringing your son into this world after debating whether or not you wanted to was the best decision you had ever made for yourself.

“Dada!” He shouts once again, with more persistence since Minho was focused on the pans in front of him. Turning back with a silly glare for the baby, your son erupts into a fit of giggles, throwing a chunk of banana onto the tiled kitchen floor to which Minho gasps.

“Not on the floor that hasn’t been washed in… forever,” Minho groans, then starts to laugh as he looks at you. Breaking off a piece of the fruit, you pop it in your own mouth and shake your head, wearing a smile.

“Someone should do something about that,” You say.

“If he’s gonna make more messes, why clean it in the first place?” Minho snickers, then focuses back on his work.

Slapping a hand on the tray, your son grabs a fistful of banana and holds it up in the air, turning you. 

“Don’t even think about it,” You say gently, smizing at your son. He cracks a smile, one that squishes his cheeks and almost closes his eyes as he showed off his few tiny teeth. He was a carbon copy of his father with his round face, soft jaw, and button nose.

Every time he smiled you were reminded of where he came from, his little grin had the ability to take over his expression just like his fathers, his eyes scrunched into little half moons just the same.

“Eat your banana,” You say, watching him relax as you continue to speak kindly to him, “It is so tasty, trust me, I’ve eaten more of it.” Rolling your eyes, you take another bite and hear Minho laugh from the stove.

“There’s two more over here, want another?” He asks, peering over toward you. Outside there’s a sound of a car pulling up into the driveway.

“No thank you,” You answer vaguely, leaning forward in your chair to try to see out the kitchen window. This neighborhood was typically a quiet one, and to get to your driveway one would have to take a detour down an alleyway not many people knew about. It was extremely rare to have surprise visitors.

“Is Han coming over?” You ask, standing up, “Ah!” You raise your voice in defeat as your son jackhammers the banana to the floor, laughing with glee.

“No, he’s away this weekend,” Minho mumbles, half in the zone as he glances around to find the source of your stress. Clicking his tongue when he caught sight of the squished fruit, he sighs and chuckles. He says some cute things to the baby as you fold your arms over your chest and step over to the back door to get a good look out the window.

A dark, sapphire blue four door model of an expensive sports car was parked beside Minho’s Range Rover, a car you haven’t seen a day in your life. The windows were tinted black, shielding whoever was inside from the outside world.

“Who is it?” Minho asks from behind you. He took matters into his own hands and was now feeding the banana directly to your son, who didn’t seem to want to put up a fight. If he had Minho’s attention, he was happy as ever. 

“Probably some lost jackass,” You mutter, squinting at the vehicle. 

This has happened before, random people pulling into your’s, or your neighbors driveways, looking for their way across town. It wasn’t a bougie way of live where you were living, in fact it was pretty run down, but it’s perfect for your family.

“Baba, baba,” Your son babbles with a mouthful of banana, “Baaaba!”

“Shit, I didn’t make one,” You sigh, turning to the boys for a second. Minho pops another piece of fruit between the baby’s lips and nods.

“I got it,” He smiles, checking you out head to toe as he walks towards the cabinets to prepare a bottle for your son.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Your cheeks flush after he winks at you.

“Can’t help it,” He playfully rolls his eyes, scooping formula from a tin, “You’re gorgeous.”

Giggling to yourself, you bite onto your bottom lip and glance down at your pajamas that were overdue for a wash. Your hair was pulled back messily and there wasn’t a trace of makeup on your morning face, you haven’t even showered yet, the baby was clean before you. Mom life wasn’t glamorous in the slightest, yet Minho had a way of making you feel like you were a million bucks every single day.

Giving him one more happy smile, your attention is turned back outside at the sound of a car door slamming shut. Long, sleek blonde hair pulled back halfway in a tie with angry brows and eyes glaring at you in the window are walking toward the back porch steps.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Your tone falls disgustingly bitter. The smile you once wore is smacked off your expression by the grimace moving closer to your door.

At the counter, Minho tries asking you what was going on, and who had shown up, though judging by your tone he could take a wild guess and hit a bullseye.

Snatching the handle of the door, you storm out onto the porch before the dominatrix has a chance to walk up the stairs. He walked with a purpose, his shoulders slightly raised in anger.

“What the fuck do you want, Hyunjin?” You spat, your stance wide at the top of the stairs so he couldn’t get past you. Looking up at you from the ground, he drags his tongue across his bottom lip, smirking, taking in the sight before him.

It’d been three months since the last time either of you were around one another.

If it were two years ago, you’d be sweating under pressure standing here dressed like this in front of him. The person you were before Minho and your son was weak for Hyunjin, you’d be insanely flustered and would rather drop dead than let this heartthrob see you without a shower.

More than one blessing came from having your son, you were gifted the ability to no longer care what other people thought of you, especially this asshole. Your priorities were to raise and protect your son, and nurture your relationship with Minho.

Hyunjin tucks a piece of his lightened hair behind his ear and places his hands on the railings of the stairs, lifting a foot to rest it on the bottom one. You copy his stance, asserting dominance, telling him with body language that he wasn’t getting inside your home.

“Answer the question,” You mutter, sharpening your eyes.

“Not even a hello,” Hyunjin sighs, the angsty smirk still playing on his lips, “You’ve changed.”

“I haven’t heard from you in three months, you don’t deserve a hello,” You say, “What the fuck do you want, before I call the cops.”

Narrowing his glare, he cocks his head to the side and quietly says, “I want my son.”

A loud, humorless cackle of disbelief escapes you. Tossing your head backward, you sigh heavily and can’t hide the fury that manifests as a maniacal grin.

“You’re unbelievable,” You say. Hyunjin doesn’t find it as funny as you.

“I want my son,” He says a bit louder, tightening his grip on the posts.

“Then you should’ve called the judge,” You throw in his face, “Three months, Hyunjin. Thats a looot of visits to miss, you broke the fucking agreement, and now you show up without permission, which is also against the agreement, and demand me to give you my son.”

The main reason you were unsure whether or not to become a mother was staring you in the face. In fact, it had to do with both men, the one taking care of the baby inside the house as well. That night at Han’s, after feeling sick for almost an entire month, the moment those lines appeared you were distraught, your heart ripping directly in half.

Coming out of a fresh break up, the two men you were romantically tangled up with had overlapped, leaving you unsure of who the child belonged to. 

Twenty minutes were spent on the bathroom floor in silent tears, but the boys in the house were too good, and knew you too well. Minho sat outside the door, waiting patiently, asking you every now and again if you were alright and if you’d open the door for him when you were ready.

Around the fifth time he asked, once you’d exhausted yourself with sobs, you pulled the doorknob and popped the door open a crack. Minho stepped inside carefully, pouting at the sight of you curled up in a ball on the floor. He sat down next to you, held out his hand for you to hold and let you tell him what was going on at your own pace. From the very first moment, Minho was nothing but supportive, respectful and loving. He stepped up and took on the role Hyunjin didn’t want even though there was a chance the child wasn’t his.

A couple of months into your pregnancy you were able to find out who was responsible for the little one, and Minho was on board straight away. He accompanied you to all of your appointments anyway, and you were living in his house, there wasn’t a second thought whether he’d want to help you or not.

Hyunjin was the one you had to chase. One would think if there was a fifty fifty shot that he’d be able to avoid this for the rest of his life that he’d want to take it, but it took Minho going through Han, going through Chan, going through Changbin, going through Felix to get to the bastard.

You prayed to a God you never believed in that the child was Minho’s. 

You wanted to be rid of Hyunjin.

Unfortunately that wasn’t your fate, and now you were stuck dealing with him whenever he decided he wanted to be a father.

Part of you wonders if the ring Minho put on your finger after your son was born had anything to do with Hyunjin’s need to still care.

“Our lawyers alway said that if we could work it out on our own we wouldn’t need to go to court,” Hyunjin’s tone mimics a taunt, like he’s talking down to a child. It boils your blood further.

“I’m dealing with you, I have to go to court,” You grill, “My son is a year and three months old. He’s going to start recognizing who is and isn’t around.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Hyunjin shrugs, finding nothing wrong with his unannounced visit. Groaning audibly, you laugh again in sheer frustration.

“It’s damaging, Hyunjin,” You shake your head, “You coming around every few months like he’s a dog who’ll be excited to see you no matter how long you’ve been gone. He’s a baby, this shit is psychologically damaging and I won’t let it happen to my son.”

“Our son,” Hyunjin smizes, knowing those words always got under your skin. Maintaining face, you harden your glare and clench your jaw. You said what needed to be said, he wasn’t getting his hands on that baby.

From inside the house you hear your little one belly laughing, which means Hyunjin can hear him too. The smirk he wore on his lips falters at the sound. If there was anything he loathed most about this situation, it was that you ended up with Minho.

“Oh, wow, he’s actually home?” He scoffs theatrically, “Thought he took any chance he could get to go to work. I heard flirting with customers for tips doesn’t make you much.” 

“You should really get your facts straight before you try to piss me off,” You say raising your brows, “Where do you get your information from? Minho hasn’t worked at the bar for like six months.” Prodding his cheek with his tongue, Hyunjin shakes his head and glances away. It was a tiny victory, stumping him when he tried to play his mind games that no longer affected you. Every time he came back, you only got stronger.

“Let me have him, I’ll bring him back tomorrow,” He says, shifting only his eyes over to you.

Grinning, you nod towards the car and say, “You even have a carseat? A crib? Bottles? Formula? Maybe a stroller?” He opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him right off, “What do you even need him for? You didn’t want him!” Hyunjin slams his fists into the posts on the stairs, startling you.

“What if I want him now, dammit?!” He shouts.

You hear the door behind you open with a creak of the hinges. Keeping your glare fixed on Hyunjin, you watch with glee as his changes when he catches a glimpse of Minho over your shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Minho asks, looking down to Hyunjin with disgust. 

The man at the bottom of the stairs can’t seem to put together an answer, in fact it doesn’t seem like he’s heard what Minho’s said at all.

Turning your head, you find Minho close to the door with your son in his arms. The baby was content, laying back in the nook of Minho’s elbow sucking down the bottle that he made. The sight was enough to make anyone melt.

“I don’t appreciate the noise,” Minho, though coddling a baby, appeared defensive, “Especially while there’s children present.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, knowing Minho chose those words on purpose.

“It’s ten in the fucking morning,” He says.

“Language?” Minho furrows his brows.

“Please, you live with this one,” He points to you, “She’s no fucking Mary Poppins. When did you get so soft, Min?” Titling his head to the side, Hyunjin smirks infamously, again.

“A lot changes when you become a father,” Minho narrows his eyes, “But I don’t need to explain, you already get it, don’t you?” If looks could kill, Minho would be dead on the floor.

Stepping up onto the bottom stair, Hyunjin leans forward, ready to unload his meaningless bullshit, but the passenger door of his sports car is slammed shut, gathering everyone's attention from the porch.

“Hyunjin,” Felix’s deep voice shouts, “Let’s go.” Another boy you haven’t seen in three months. Though you’ve heard from him, you text almost every other day. Not much had changed, except his hair that was now black as night. He was still tall, lanky, baby-faced Felix.

He gives you a look, a sympathetic one, as if he’s apologizing to you.

“Really?” You frown, and Felix shrugs.

“I’m sorry,” He says, giving his head a small shake, “I tried to stop this.”

“Always,” Hyunjin groans dramatically, rolling his head backward, “You always have to take her side.” Felix takes three steps closer, folding his arms.

“I do,” His tone is stern. Looking back at you, his eyes flicker to the baby for a second, then back to you. “Y’okay?” He asks, his intention meaning something deeper.

“Be a lot better if I had a warning,” You say. Closing his eyes, Felix shrugs and shakes his head again. He knows better, he should’ve called, but then again you know how Hyunjin can be when he gets something in his head. It’s inevitable.

“We weren’t coming here,” Felix mutters, sending a glare toward Hyunjin who’s grilling his boyfriend right back, “Let’s go. I told you how to go about this, this isn’t it. I’m driving us home.”

Behind you the baby coo’s, shifting himself around in Minho’s arms to look where Felix’s voice was coming from. The bottle falls from his lips, Minho catching it quick before it rolls onto the ground.

Your son lifts a finger and points toward Felix, uttering a quiet, “Who?”

Sharing a look with Minho, you take a breath and say, “That’s Felix.”

“Vee-liss,” The baby tries to repeat, making Minho chuckle. His inquisitive little eyes scan his surroundings, and once they find you he reaches out his arms. “Mama,” He coo’s.

Scooping him up you prop him on your hip and smile as he gazes around the backyard happily, taking in every sight and every sound. Watching him experience life for the first time is something unimaginable, you almost forget that there’s trash on your doorstep.

Swapping your smile for a stone cold glare, you look down at Hyunjin who’s completely enamored by your son.

Eyes as big as the moon, Hyunjin watches the little one intently, slightly smiling at every tiny move he’d make. All four of you stood in silence, letting the child have a moment.

That was a thing parents did with others- sit around and watch their babies do things. Many evenings have been spent with Chan and Han on the living room floor while your son tore apart his toy box. Nights at Haven were a thing of the past.

You keep your eyes on Hyunjin while he watches your son, keeping an indestructible barrier around your heart. A master of charisma, you wouldn’t allow him to ‘puppy dog eye’s’ his way into getting what he wants today. 

Shit, that’s what gave you the very thing you hold in your arms.

“He’s beautiful,” Hyunjin whispers, not wanting to disturb the child’s admiration of nature. Sighing, you nod.

Three months ago he saw him through a car window. It was a measly glance, nothing of grandeur, happening just before Hyunjin snatched the child support agreement out of your hands to rip it in half. The day before his first birthday.

“He looks like you,” Hyunjin says, pulling his eyes away from the baby for half a second to look at you.

You scoff and pull a silly face, “Not in the slightest.”

Hyunjin makes a soft sound that warms the edges of the cold front you were projecting, a small laugh that tumbles you backward a couple of years. It was genuine, and you knew it was genuine because Felix gets him to make that sound often. At least, he used to when you’d be around them before the rapture.

Your son looks down at where the sound came from, finally acknowledging the human being a few feet in front of him, a moment you hoped wouldn’t happen.

Hyunjin gives him a smile.

Your son lifts a finger to point at him, saying, “Who?” And Hyunjins smile falters.

The light that started to pool in his eyes the second your son came out onto the porch was wiped away, like the only word your son knew how to properly say in the right context had physically hurt him.

Swallowing hard, you honestly aren’t sure what to say. Hyunjin hasn’t been a constant in his life, he didn’t have a name. 

Hannie, was his Uncle Han. Channie, was his Uncle Chan. The other boys, when they came around, got silly nicknames too, but these two weren’t around ever. You never expected them to need introductions.

“Who?” Your son asks again, looking to you for instruction. Meeting his eyes, you try to take a deep breath but feel like someone has wrapped a rope around your lungs.

Hyunjin is watching with a broken heart and a longing gaze, and Minho stands behind you with his arms folded, a protective foot away. One was his father, and the other was actually his father.

Hyunjin, though he put up a believable act today, you weren’t sure if he was going to split again.

So, through your teeth, you mutter a painful, “Jinnie,” just as your son was about to ask you who this man was for the third time.

Placing one hand on your shoulder and the other over your heart, your baby looks at Hyunjin and gives him a once over. A sassy habit of his when he was around anyone unfamiliar, something he inherited from none other than Hyunjin himself.

“Chi-nny,” The baby says.

“That’s me,” Hyunjin says gently.

Breaking your gaze off of your son, you look down to him in shock that he didn’t protest the name.

“Chi-nny, well, Mama,” Your son says, his tone sad, laying his head down on your shoulder. Biting your bottom lip you avert your eyes from Hyunjin and take a grounding breath.

He remembers him.

“Time to go inside,” Minho suggests, smoothing a hand over both of your backs. Hyunjin furrows his brows.

“Why?” He asks.

Thinning your lips for a second you bob your head, “Jinnie, yell, Mama,” You repeat clearly for Hyunjin to hear.

“What!” He screws his face up in confusion, beginning to raise his voice already, proving to the toddler that Jinnie, does in fact, yell at Mama.

“He remembers you,” You shrug, pulling yourself out of the baby daddy fantasy that was minutes away from ensuing.

Hyunjin nearly gasps, “Remembers… me?”

Rolling your eyes you say, “We were in the parking lot of the grocery store. I was picking up his birthday cake, you were visiting the liquor store next door,” Hyunjin glances to the stairs, “It was the first time in a long time I’d caught you, so I tried to give you the paperwork.”

“You took it from her, ripped it to pieces and screamed in her face,” Minho adds, giving your waist a soothing squeeze, “While this one watched from the window.”

The baby in your arms turns around to look at Minho, a grin breaking out onto his chubby cheeks, “Dada,” He coo’s, holding out a hand toward him.

Hyunjin whips his head up in a flash, eyes burning into Minho’s.

“Really? Kid calls you Dada?” He spats, “I’m half of him, and I get Jinnie?”

“Hyunjin,” Felix states, taking three more steps toward the stairs, “Let’s… go.”

The blonde takes a step, getting closer as he rises on the stairs. Behind you, Minho pulls you aside, taking your place at the top of the staircase. His arms fan out to hold onto the railings in case Hyunjin tried to slip through.

“You don’t deserve that title,” Minho grills, narrowing his eyes, “And last time I checked, you aren’t listed on the birth certificate, did you forget about that?” 

Hyunjin shoots you a chilling glare that’s broken in more ways than one.

Your son watches his father with caution, observing his behavior while cuddling up on your shoulder. Cradling the back of his head, you look over to Felix and plead him with your eyes to take Hyunjin away.

If anyone could remember what happened the last time these two went nose to nose, they’d want to end this as fast as possible.

Felix nods, dropping his arms to his side.

“Did you forget the kid’s a product of her cheating on you?” Hyunjin’s expression breaks out into a grin, making him seem proud, “Remember that?” He takes another step up the porch, and just before he’s eye level with Minho, who’s temper was rising by the millisecond, Felix is grabbing onto Hyunjin’s wrist.

Minho’s grip on the railings relaxes, color returning to his knuckles as he says, “You’ve gone soft, Jinnie,” Teasing him with his own words, letting the nickname hit him where it hurts, “Felix wear the pants now?” He says while Felix pulls Hyunjin down to the grass, giving Minho a look in the process.

“Minho,” You whisper harshly. Felix has done plenty for you since your son came into the picture, there was no need to talk down to him.

“Sorry, Lix,” Minho says softly, shaking his head.

The lanky boy locking Hyunjin under his arm is about to open his mouth until a car whizzing down your street takes the scene. It comes to a screeching stop at your curb.

“Oh, wonderful,” Hyunjin chuckles.

The car door slams shut behind an angry Chan walking up your lawn. Felix sighs in exhaustion, or frustration. Probably both.

“We’re leaving,” He raises his voice, holding a hand up to Chan, waving a white flag.

“You called Chan?” You whisper to Minho who gives you a smirk.

“Damn right you’re leaving,” Chan says, puffing his chest, stopping beside Hyunjin and Felix’s car.

Your son squirms in your arms, sitting up tall to shout, “ANNIE!”

He catches Hyunjin’s attention once more. Submissive in Felix’s grip while his boyfriend defends him, his gaze softens immensely, sending a shattering crack through the walls you’ve put up around you and your family.

Stumbling over his own feet as Felix guides him to the car, he’s acting like it’s going to be the last time he sees his son. Chan and Minho’s voices are ineffective, he can’t hear a thing they’re saying and neither can you.

Your little one digs his fingers into your arm, agitated by the scene ensuing around him.

“Let me get the door for ya,” Chan snickers, yanking the passenger door of the sports car open. Felix avoids eye contact, letting the bullets in the form of words rain down over them both.

Hyunjin grips onto the edge of the door, resisting Felix’s attempt to sit him down. He frowns, his lips pulling downward in a way they would before he’d cry.

Your son would make the same face.

Felix mutters something to him only the two can hear, and Chan, probably begging him to get in the car so he could avoid a physical end to this story.

“Need some help?” Chan questions sarcastically, rounding the door to grab onto Hyunjin’s arms, yanking them off of the door.

Hyunjin retaliates, tearing his eyes off of the baby, pushing Chan away on the chest. Then the Hyunjin you’ve come to know makes an appearance. Throwing a hand backward in form of a fist, he launches it at Chan, aiming for his jaw, but the Aussie catches it instead, jutting backward the slightest.

Flinching, Felix groans audibly and shoves Chan backward himself with his hip.

“Fuck off!” He shouts at him, “Chan, fuck off!” 

Holding his hands up, Chan smirks and takes two steps back.

“I like this Felix,” He says, “Control your man, yeah? You leave my family alone.”

Shaking his head, Felix finally gets Hyunjin into the car, slamming the door shut. He doesn’t say anything to Chan, nor to Minho. Instead, as he rounds the car he gives you a wave and gets inside.

“Bye!” Chan shouts happily, slapping the top of the car twice as it starts to back down the driveway.

The three and a half of you are quiet as you watch the shiny blue car disappear down the street.

A lump manifests in your throat, one that threatens to bring tears to your eyes. Your son, the very being who you swore to protect was experiencing his first moment of grief. And it was for you, of all people, because of his estranged biological father.

There’s a soft babble from your hip, the little one humming a few noises without care, happy the world around him was quiet once more. Taking a look at him he’s focused on you, gazing up with a look that resembles admiration.

He sits himself up properly, holding onto your shoulder with both hands, and smiles.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper to him, giving a smile in return.

Down on the lawn Chan was starting his way up the stairs, brushing his hands together, muttering, “He didn’t touch you did he?” to whoever was listening. Minho, shaking his head, extends a hand to shake one of Chan’s, and begins to explain the situation to him, gesturing toward you a couple of times.

“Maaama,” Your son says softly, bouncing twice, kicking his feet.

“Baaaby,” You sing, dipping your chin down to kiss his squishy cheek. He giggles, shying away for half of a second before he throws himself onto your chest, nuzzling his head against you with the cutest coo.

This is when the tears spill, overwhelming you to the point of a sudden, sharp breath.

Minho whips his head in your direction, eyes wide, Chan glancing your way as well.

“I’m okay,” You mumble, nodding your head a couple of times as the boys hurry to your side. Minho slides an arm over your shoulder, placing his hand on the back of your neck.

Massaging his fingers into your skin, he watches you calm yourself down, then says, “We can do something about this,” He sends a glance to Chan, “We can call our lawyer, see what we can do, or we can call the cops.”

“Yeah, he can’t get away with this,” Chan’s brows are furrowed deep into his eyes, “Disrupting your life unannounced is wrong in the first place, but he broke a contract. You guys could sue, probably.”

Minho swipes his thumb beneath your eyes, brushing away your tears. Falling quiet, he studies you, taking you in, not saying another word until you made up your mind.

You parented your son together, you made decisions together, you were raising him together, you loved him together, however, when it came down to the court, the agreements, the paperwork, the lawyers, the judges… Minho left a majority of that up to you. He shared his opinions and his feelings of course, to which you listened at full attention, taking them into consideration always, making sure he felt as involved as possible.

Minho was your son's father, he was your son's caregiver, he was the one who stayed, the one who stepped up when you could’ve been left with absolutely nothing. 

But, one day your son is going to ask why he doesn’t look like him. He’s going to go to school and learn about families and wonder why his friends have simpler family tree’s than him. When he meets new doctors, new people, and has to go over family history he can’t tell them about Minho’s, he doesn’t share an ounce of his DNA.

He’s going to ask questions. He's going to be curious. Knowing yourself, and Hyunjin, the son you shared was going to be a nosey little jerk at some point in time, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to cut off the source or not.

Looking at Minho now, shifting over to Chan momentarily, you can tell the two of them are ready to take action. They want to ruin him, finally put an end to the reign of terror, snuff out the darkness before your little one gains enough consciousness to know it’s even there.

“I can call whoever you want me to call,” Minho says quietly.

Parting your lips, hesitating for a moment, Minho perks a brow, on alert, until your voice paralyzes him.

“No,” You whisper. Your fiancé and best friend are stumped.

Your son has gone quiet, his chest rising and falling heavily against yours, being lulled to sleep by the sound of the birds chirping around you.

“No?” Chan says when he realizes neither of you were going to say much else, looking between you both in disbelief. Minho’s defeated eyes drop down the top of the baby's head. “You’re crying,” He gestures to you, then to Minho, “You’re furious,” He scoffs, “I’m pissed as fuck ‘cause I had to see his face, and now you’re not gonna do a thing about it?”

Taking a deep breath, focused on Minho, you give your head a slight shake, “No.”

“Honestly, what the…” Chan steps backward, dragging his fingers through his dark curls, “You could make money here, you could be done with him, like done with him for real this time, and you’re not gonna do anything-”

“Chan,” Minho snaps. Dropping his hands at his sides Chan turns and sighs. A thousand different things he could say flash through his expression before he even opens his mouth.

“Are you really not going to do anything?” He asks Minho, pausing between statements, emphasizing his frustration, “You’re going to move past this like it never happened? So that it can happen again? And again?”

Swallowing hard, the lump in your throat is back.

“I know you, and I know why you won’t open your mouth,” Chan grills, shooting you a look before he focuses back on Minho, “You’ve got everything you’ve always wanted and more. But, he’s still got his claws in deep.” 

“Oh my god,” You groan, rolling your eyes. Tipping your chin up a bit so you don’t have to look at either of them, you let a few tears slip down your cheeks. “Chan, shut up.”

“I’m just saying,” The Aussie shrugs, “To both of you even, it’s been well over a year, longer than that, and he is still messing with you guys.”

“I had his baby,” You sneer, glaring at him, eyes stinging. Sucking in a deep breath you continue, “Maybe it was a stupid decision, maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly because he still has his claws in deep, maybe I was worried this would be my only chance to be a mom, maybe I was pushing a boundary to see if the people who say they love me would stay-“

“You do a lot of that,” Chan nods, clenching his jaw, his own tears welling in his eyes. Minho points his eyes to the baby on your chest again, allowing you and Chan to hash this out yourselves.

Minho wouldn’t be here if he didn’t already know how you were. That was one thing none of your friends could get through their heads. 

The realization that you and Hyunjin were one of the same.

Unable to let go of one another, unable to cut the cord, like a couple of sadistic addicts that fed on the drama, that needed it to live.

It appeared in both of your lives differently, Hyunjin’s lying on the forefront for the world to see, while yours lied beneath the surface, a trauma in your subconscious fueling this desire you unknowingly led your life with.

Seemingly enough, you both ended up with someone willing to set your issues aside and put up with them… Or, ignore them, and accept them because they loved you so deeply.

From the day Felix fell into Hyunjin’s trap you couldn’t begin to ever wonder why someone so innocent, someone so sweet with so much going for them would settle for a monster that would bring them nothing but stress.

After what’s just occurred today, and what has happened in the past, you meet Minho’s eyes here on the porch, holding onto a baby that wasn’t his, while wearing a ring he slipped onto your finger, and you wonder the same thing.

How did someone so sweet, with so much understanding, with so much talent, and so much going for them… How did he end up here with you?

thank you for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed this piece! 

feedback is always greatly appreciated & helps artists immensely. we also all love messages & the audience’s input, opinions, and ideas.

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Content is slow right now because life is overwhelming me. Things are calming down soon and I will be back to creating full time. I can't wait. If you've stuck around with me through this, I appreciate you!

[spacedlexi]

Question, what made you ship Violentine? I personally liked how Violet was rightfully suspicious of Clem and AJ but still accepted them, and grew to like them. Along with the fact, no matter what, during the Marlon confrontation, she will stand up for Clem and Aj. Also her making a pin for clem, dancing with her, and star gazing (just off the top of my memory) was really cute, she is also just really badass.

yes to all of that 🥺💕 i liked violet in the first episode and the little development we get between her and clem is nice, how they can both relate to each other about their losses and how they are seeming to find comfort in each other during their talks in the dorm and while fishing (especially if you mend her relationship with brody she really relaxes). but i think what really solidified the actual relationship for me was in the beginning of episode 2 when violet realizes everyone is about to Jump this Child and immediately without hesitation stands in the middle against her friends and community to protect this little boy who just killed their leader, because he is a Little Child and everyone needs to Calm Down, and marlons hands werent so clean either. for the rest of the episode she stands against all of her friends to defend clem and aj and she does all of this regardless of your choices up until this point so it wasnt like it was determinate based on how nice to her you were

then she falls into the open leadership position, that she doesnt even want, because no one else steps up to do so and Someones gotta do it because otherwise the group will fall apart and it is already splitting at the seams. she quickly becomes someone clem can rely on (she'll even shoot lilly if you fail to pick an option), and clem becomes someone violet can rely on as well as she helps violet with keeping the group together and trying to smooth things over after marlons death. violet goes from being a loner who has dreams of leaving the school because she just never felt like she belonged there, to becoming its leader and does her best to keep everyone safe (and beats herself up hard about it if she fails), and then ending with leading the school side by side with clem. co leader badass girlfriends

i left s3 Very Opinionated that i Did Not Want ANY romance options for clem because i didnt think theyd ever be able to pull it off. so i had the bar set Pretty High. but violet ended up being exactly what i wanted in a love interest for clem. theyre very evenly matched. similar attitudes and goals and maturity level, their ability to relate to each other and what theyve been through (vi is very s3 clem at the beginning of s4, feeling like shes lost the only people she cares about and has walled herself off to other connections), violet stands up for both clem and aj without hesitation because its the right thing to do, and shes tough as nails. she grows a lot between the beginning and end of the season she really comes into herself as a leader especially if you friend/romance her. she is also So in love with clem and cares about her so deeply. hearing her plead if you tell lilly youll join her if she lets everyone else go you can hear in her voice how much the idea of that hurts her because she Cant Lose Clem like shes lost others (props to gideon adlon for doing such a great job voicing her)

ALSO one of my favorite scenes where minnie and clem are fighting and vi shoots minnie to save clems life i love it. the Gay Drama of it all shooting your ex to save your new gf but still not having the heart to leave her (again) makes me go like this every time

also their romance lock in scene is Incredible....Perfect...Spectacular.. their entire romance from that scene on is just so cute they are such a good match for each other. they both make the other feel like they have someone they can rely on without hesitation. AND shes so good with aj. treats him with respect, is kind patient and understanding with him, tries to make him feel less scared and more confident. like when theyre putting the walker guts on and she kneels down to be eye level with him and tell him hes doing a good job and she looks up at clem reassuringly and clem smiles back AUGH!!! thats what im TALKING ABOUT!!! clem needs someone that not only She can rely on but also someone she can trust that aj can rely on as well and vi is that person!!! AAHH

[yeo-rims]

i love your post-2521 episode thoughts - i just wanted to know why you think people were so devastated by this ending, like abysmally so. i completely get why people were sad that they didn't end up together, and yeah i also personally don't think the latter episodes were as well executed as they could have been, but i don't think that they were /that/ terrible. yeah they hurt, and yeah we want escapism but just curious about what you thought about how the response to the ending was

Oh, dear anon, I have a lot of thoughts about it so bear with me!

First of all, thank you for this ask. It means a lot that you liked my post!!

Now, what do I think? I was talking to the brilliant @elderflowergin that one of the reasons I feel the ending made people so devastated coincides with the fact that the show also ended. You know grief is not something we only feel when people die, we can grieve anything that we lose, honestly. In a way, the show ending will make us sad if we cared enough to talk about it as much as we did online. So I think that was a factor.

Another thing is that when you put their breakup on the last episode it gives us not so much time to get used to it, Hee Do in the future is fine, but we, as viewers, had less than 10 minutes to get over that and jump to the next scene. Time healed her wounds, and time will heal ours, too.

Losing them like that, the drama and the couple we invested so much of our energy on, it can be hard.

My next theory is that people aren't used to not getting what they want, especially in dramas. I've read a lot of posts about escapism, and I am not against it, honestly. But this show is not the reply series and that can be felt in the first 10 minutes of episode 1 (reply 88 is a favorite of mine, but it is a show that sells on nostalgia and first love is the only type of love).

2521 is about heedo's journey, her dreams, passions, fears and relationships. The love she has for Yurim is as big and as important as the love she has for Yi Jin. The drama never made one more important than the other, we had episode 14 dedicated entirely to Yurim because she is that important. We had that Madrid match too. But, for some people, this show was a romance, because that's what most kdramas are.

The romance in it was well made, their friendship was so good and it is hard to not root for a couple like them when they work so well together. But the reality it is that despite how well they worked together, the times, again, crushed their relationship. No amount of communication would be able to heal the trauma Yijin went through. And it wasn't Heedo's job to wait for a broken man to come back home. The situation they were in... it's not that the support wasnt reaching them, but that support was becoming too much. Yijin never wanted to burden Heedo with his trauma, but Heedo is the type of person to do everything for the ones she loves. So is Yijin. They had so much love for one another that they realized, at the end, that staying together would bring them pain, would make them worry too much and sleep too little and try too hard in a time they had a lot of other priorities.

They were very mature to realize that, and I see people saying that Ji Woong managed to visit Yurim in Russia, but c'mon, there is a ferry boat to russia from korea. Ji Woong isn't dealing with war trauma either. so he is willing to sacrifice a bit of his time to work for money.

Heedo has no time, Yijin has no time. They both want what's best for the other and they want the other one to be happy and achieve everything they dream of. Yijin's dream was to reunite his family and he did it! How big that is, right?

So going back to my point, I feel like people were watching this having in mind every other drama that managed to make their couple work, despite how unrealistic it was. But bringing cloy into this makes no sense, it only tells me they don't understand what cloy was even about, either.

so far we have 3 things: the show ending, the couple ending so abruptly, and our expectations being crushed.

I also think that people are afraid of growing old. The number of theories that said someone had dementia, alzheimer, or anything to justify things that are so normal... Wild. But also, the younger the audience, the more I saw comments about how present heedo is awful, her life is pathetic etc etc. the show calls us out on that, too, saying that it is an illusion to want it all, but we do it anyway.

The last thing would be this mentality that a lot of people have that love is only worth it when it lasts "forever". That true love is only true love if it ends up in marriage. Do you want something more real than the love Hee Do had for Yu Rim? We can't get any more true than Hee Do saying she loved Yi Jin with all her heart. Things end, we are afraid of that, we think the moment something ends the whole thing lost its meaning. There is nothing good to remember if it ended, right?

If it weren't for Yi Jin, god knows what Hee Do would've done to change schools. If it weren't for Hee Do, where would Yi Jin be even at? He was hopeless, she was too reckless. They grew together, and sadly they also grow apart. But they never stopped loving each other. But a lot of people think that Heedo marrying someone else (after 7! years) means that the show wasn't worth it. Meanwhile what the show tried to say all along is that even if it is for a brief moment: love, laugh, be happy. Get up and try again. It's ok if that moment ends, you can do it all again, as long as you're alive. The memories can fade, but the feeling we have of living a full life is what keeps us going.

I guess it is a bit too much for some people, especially in difficult times like the one we are in now, to face the reality that no moment is forever. Not even the precious ones.

[cutegirlmayra]

NOT SPOILING but-

My thoughts on Sonic Frontiers after watching cutscenes online:

Read at your own risk

Sage Robotnik make me go AWWWW, and also, she seems like a fanfiction version of My Metal Amy from Metallic Need,... but maybe great minds really do think too much alike? Haha!

Amy's story could have been a bit more, but there was a mix of 'this isnt like Amy, shes grown and is so mature now??? Why is she so reserved?' And 'yep, that sounds more like the Amy I know' lol her story arc doesn't make sense to me tho?

Tails and knuckles characterization and stories were spot-on in my personal opinion! I really liked the emotional talks they had with Sonic, but I worry the writing wasnt perfect. Still, I enjoyed those moments ^^

Eggman was Eggman, I thought his arc with Sonic could have had more time, but Sage grew on me with him xD When she considered orbot and cubot her brothers and wanted to meet them TAT oh mannnnn

I would have loved that lolol

I did like how they wrapped up some things, but are sonic and his really..?

No spoilers! But that was my take on Sonic Frontiers in just the hour of cutscenes I saw on youtube ^^ music seems killer at some points... but...

THERES ALSO SO MUCH CRINNGEEE

The lore tried to connect itself but it was contradicting already founded sonic lore, Sonic boom is canon??? No wonder they're hiring a lore expert Dx hire meeeee

Also, veeerryyy interesting how they look like Chaos god, gave me my Sonic And The Harmony Of Chaos The 8th Emerald fanfic feels (havent finished it yet).

It's just funny how like, Sonic IRL is a fanfiction I made of them all as data, Harmony has Chaos and angel island lore with harmony being a female counterpart to Chaos, and now you're telling me Metallic Need's Metal Amy also had ties to this???

Her want of family and observations, her feelings towards Sonic... you CANT tell me, after reading my works, that I wasnt on to something YEARS before it happened xD

Idk, it's just funny. They did their best to attempt emotion and drama, and I appreciated their efforts immensely. It wasnt super super bad in my opinion, but was reaching through space and found something... just needs more fine-tuning.

Very... interesting? Well, I thought it would be different, but I liked that Sonic traveled with each one of his friends and they helped him too. ;)b

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra (again)

i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think  this one will be better written

What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.

In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills

Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.

“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.

As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that. 

So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.

So she came to Republic City, it was a mess. 

Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky. 

Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.

Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok

The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.

In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.

And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.

Tarrlok in the  other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.

Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.

The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain  power. And that was exacly what happened

Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it. 

But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event

In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.

Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was  physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.

Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.

Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this

I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.

Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible  when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this.  And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her

One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.

And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about  Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming 

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

I’ve never watched it, so i can’t say much but after those screenshots i doubt i will lol.

absolute screeching at the idea of desi tony the tiger, thank you for that mental image. honestly i feel like most brown people would like to be blissfully ignorant to the idea that queer Indians exist which is honestly sometimes nicer than hearing homophobic/transphobic shit.

haha i mean it kind of makes sense that you weren’t at your parents wedding where premarital sex is a big no-no. but I’ve only been to like three weddings and yeah, they always make comments when the bride even ever do slight sticks up for herself :/

also indian weddings are where a lot of the gossip happens lmao

me too, i absolutely love Hindu myths and arjun is a favorite of mine. draupadi is also high on my list; she raises so many valid points in the original texts about women and misogyny, plus i watched a tv show about the Mahabharata and the actress who played her was really pretty.... so potential childhood gay crush lol

it wasn’t by any means accepting, but kind of acknowledged that queer people existed. also the idea of lgbt heroes makes my heart really happy..

i don’t and i don’t think I’ve heard of it, but it sounds rlly cool! i don’t watch a lot of telugu shows, but sometimes i listen to bits in the background cause my parents watch a lot of dhee :)

every time i send you a super long anon, i feel like i’m writing a letter to a long lost friend. so *dips quill in ink* i hope that the weather is treating you well and you have plenty good harvest

with a casual shoulder bump

- indi <3

who needs a desi tony the tiger when we have the tide ads like "aVoKaYyArA?????" those will never fail to make me lose my mind. i do agree that its nice to just be ignored rather than blatantly hated, but its kinda... pick your poison, yk?

lmao yeah, i was born a year after they got married, and ive been to three or four weddings but they were all a while ago and im the most mature and usually the oldest relative who has the time to care for the kids so im always just wrangling twenty to thirty kids at the lowest lmao. one time i actually made and brought one of those ropes with hairbands on them for kids to put their hands in so they walk in a straight line in schools? that was much easier but i wasnt allowed to bring it again :(

sooo true ive discovered so many scandals in my family through weddings, sometimes i have to pinch myself to make sure i havent dropped into a weird dream where im in an indian serial bc its so dramatic

Draupadi is awesome, yes!!! idk if youve heard of it but theres a book series called the Pandava Quintet, starting with Aru Shah and the End of Time, and its basically the Pandavas reincarnated as middle school girls, and its really good, i love it, and the reincarnation of Draupadi is referred to as wifey once they know who it is and its honestly hilarious.

i read the Mahabharata when i was really young in telugu, i dont know if i'll be able to do that again, but at some point i'll find an english translated version and read it, bc i remember most of the stories, but it'll be nice to have it all put together.

i havent seen dhee whats it about? but you should watch dancee+, the host talks forever but its mostly fun and it's super cool to see such talented dancers do takes on popular songs, and im gay crushing on two of them 😌 plus they like to stir up drama between the judges for shits and giggles so you have a little bit of everything (and kids are adorbable i want to adopt them 🥺)

no but it feels exactly like that for me!! im a sucker for writing letters so this is actually awesome, so *taps quill on well to get rid of excess ink* the weather is as kind as it desires, and its desires are as fleeting as the wind, and strawberries, grapes, and other fruits have been plentiful and eaten, but blueberries have been stolen away by thieves in feathered cloaks. i wish you plenty in return, and hope the world is kinder to you than ever. (signed, the dark prince of the night)

*bumps your shoulder back like besties in a hallway*

i love you indi <3

[misterbitches]

ITSAY SPOILERS

it was so well done and good except liek ep1 WAY too much crying for my tastes but wow so many good scenes. tarn yelling at him was also great.

i don’t even think it’s necessarily “dumb” writing (i don’t think this show has dumb writing but i’m thinking of this particular situation) or implausible (as in would a real life person do that?) because teenagers aren’t that bright. and it’s for a reason, there’s a whole life you have yet to experience. that’s why the amount of crying is normal (but a lot for my grown eyes lmao) and that’s why i’m depressed. because these decisions are so childish and stupid and ridiculous and, ultimately, not ones that you make with a clear head .which is GOOD because they’re teenagers. 

but it sucks because it’s so stupid and the reason why tarn and tay’s convo is so important is because she points out that it doesn’t matter how pissed she is about the situation he’s just hurting himself. it’s actually bonkers and just not a good idea. her telling him that he is distracting her (even if she was hurt) is a perfect example. she’s spent this whole time studying for what she wanted first and so if things do go of course her future doesn’t rely on him.

i’m not sure how i would feel were i oh-aew. in fact, i know if that were to ever happen to me i know i’d do the exact same thing. it’s this absolutely stupid and misguided mistake that they BOTH TOOK (one basically yeeting cos of feelings, the other yeeting so the other one can take cos of feelings) and as much as it drives me wild it’s like.....holy shit the stupidity. which is profound.

it’s sad because hoon, though not as present in the story, has been such a good brother. calmer obviously and has more of a plan and he’s sure of himself (him waiting to introduce his gf is really big too and it’s a mature step while it is also something he chose to do—he made a choice for himself and was living a whole life without them being so privvy to it because it’s his life) and obviously he knows what’s going on but he’s so understanding. but the contrast is clear (and there must be about 6-10 yrs between them) he can regulate his life and feelings and is understanding but also like. he wouldn’t do that. 

because he’s older and knows the world more. all the people who are supposed to be more emotionally mature really are in this show and i think age and femininity are clear indicators that the show highlights. whether purposefully or not, but there’s a much different type of impulse and irregularity that people show than teenage boys. then there’s that expectation of what a boy should be anyway. but damn.

it was stressful to watch cause, esp for tay, you see yourself self-destructing in an effort to understand yourself. the sheer self-sabotage and also self-sacrificing bullshit. and imagine how happy oh-aew felt when he got in—that means that you can get over things. at least one thing was going right and he could move beyond tay for his future (WHICH MAKES SENSE HELLO), heartbreak really isn’t going to last forever but someone does something brash, rude, and stupid. lmao

anyway EYE personally think that they should be together. i think. like as a good ending as a romantic drama. howeverrrrrrrrrrrrrm you know. if this happened in the real world. well, i’m not sure what i would want. i think i’d prefer to stay friends with that person, real friends, if we could. or honestly i wouldnt bother at all. being a teenager is such a useless time. i feel, when i watch, like i’m kind of back in that same place. except my childhood was like not good very bad and my parents suck but all the circular and ridiculous logic and the anger and confusion.

i almost found no personal peeves or technical or creative faults from eps 2 and 3. the only complaint i have about 1+4 is the excessive crying. well actually in ep 1 it seems like they hadnt fleshed out the sound / music spotting and the rest of the eps NAIL it imo but other than that. i am not such a huge fan of constant crying but that’s very minor and i know many people have a flair for the more dramatic. it was a genuinely great hour and a half (?) almost. i kept wanting to fast forward cos i’m not always keen on drama drama (and i wasnt in the mood and i’m high) but the way it was done was REALLY captivating.

also holy shit instagram is stupid. when i was in HS we had just gotten FB and that was big i guess. it wasnt as developed as now, obviously in 2010 i turned 18 so...havent been a teen for a bit. phones were important then tho and we all had like blackberries before iphones (if you could afford it or your parents gave you one....neither was my option lmao) but the stupid fucking use of insta and the dumb lack of communication is HILARIOUS. on a gen z level....i’m not even that much older than the actors but still LOL and i’m 10 years older than an 18 year old...which seems like a huge leap now but not later. 10 yrs passes by so fast. but i would die if i was laying my feelings bare on insta like that. myspace was ENOUGH.

i have more to say but idk how to express it. strong stuff. 

oh also the jerking off scene was bonkers to me it was so good omg the use of like all the tired old tropes or the common things between the years that teens do. everything about it felt so major lmao i died 

anyway that was pretty fuckin metal. i’m not good with emotional fallout, i always need it paired with something violent or so actively psychologically damaging. so for me to feel stressed about things i’ve been through before, knowing that things will be alright as you get older.....that was good shit!

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 4)

Bakugo x reader 

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo, but will trouble follow? 

Words : 3175

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Bakugo’s leg bounced up and down as his anxiety climbed. He had left you all alone at the apartment. He got up extra early despite the fact that he had been up most of the night tossing and turning because of another one of your nightmares.

He made you breakfast, left instructions for how to make lunch and even left some emergency cash with a note letting you known where he was going to be, for how long, and a number to reach him at if you needed him. He wanted to be prepared for anything. What he hadn't anticipated was you not calling him at all.

He wasnt some clingy bitch. He knew he didnt need to hold your hand through everything. You were a smart and capable girl. And he needed to chill out.  

You had gotten out of bed a little later than usual. Your nightmares had done a number on you and without Bakugo there to drag your ass out of bed you slept way longer than you should have. It was well past noon by the time you were up, showered and dressed. You put on your best outfit and hurried out the door taking the breakfast Bakugo had made to go. You were on a mission. You were going to get a job.

You had the route to the coffee shop memorized at this point but it did take longer than you remembered without Bakugo there to provide small talk on the way.

It wasn’t busy when you finally got there, in fact there were only three people there including you who didnt work there. You confidently strolled up to the counter and asked a very annoyed looking Tasha if they were still hiring.

She raised her eyebrows at you, “You are even dumber than you look...You really want to work here? With me? Do you even have any experience?”

You shrugged ignoring her little jab at you, “Bakugo taught me how to make coffee at home... and I really really love coffee...”

She simply scoffed and rolled her eyes,  “Pushing a button on a coffee pot and being a barista are two totally different things.” 

You bit your lip and nodded, “Yeah of course... I would never dream of insinuating that your job is easy. But I’m a quick leaner I promise!” 

Tasha stared at you for a few nerve wracking moments before rolling her eyes, “You’re lucky it’s not up to me. I’ll go get the manager.” You started to walk away but she grabbed your wrist. Panicking you pulled back but her grip tightened. She looked you straight in the eyes, “Look I shouldn't even be telling you this but I feel like its my job, one woman to another... The manager... he's a little handsy. Just.... be warned.” 

You slowly nodded, “Uh... thanks. Does the owner know? About the manager I mean... Bakugo knows him and I’m sure he could help if you want...” 

She yanked her hand back from yours, “I can take care of myself thanks. I don’t need a man to fight my battles for me unlike some people I know.” 

She turned on her heels and headed to the back office before you could respond. You desperately wanted to help her. Just because she could take care of herself doest mean she should have to. You pulled the note that Bakugo had left you and considered giving him a call but the manager was already walking out of his office and giving you a megawatt smile. 

“Well hello there. You must be Y/n. Tasha said you were interested in a job?” 

You politely nodded your head, “Yes sir, that would be correct.” 

His smile looked so sleazy, “Sir huh? I like the sound of that. Most of the girls around here aren't as respectful as you seem to be. Come take a seat. My name is Riku. I’m the manager here and I just have a few questions before we move any further.” He motioned to one of the couches that you had sat on many times before with Bakugo. But you knew better and your instincts drove you to take one of the single chairs next to the couch. 

If he was annoyed by this he hid it well. “So... Y/n. Tell me a little about yourself and why you would like a job here.” 

You wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans and cleared your throat. “Well I’d like to work here because I absolutely love coffee, and I really like this place. I come here so often and it’s very cozy. I’ll admit my skills are limited, but I’m a quick leaner and a hard worker.” 

He nodded as you spoke, “So what about you. You answered why you want a job but you haven't told me anything about yourself.”

You simply shrugged, “Not much to know honestly. I just uh... moved here. I don’t have many friends yet. I like to read, drink coffee, and my roommate is currently teaching me how to cook.” It felt so weird referring to Bakugo as your roommate. It felt like a lie almost as soon as you said it. But there was no need to dread on it now. 

“Are you 18?” 

You frowned, “I’m well over 18. Why? Do you have to be 18 to work here or something?” 

He shook his head, “I just prefer to have a more... mature staff here. That way we don’t run into any.... childish drama.”  

You averted your eyes away from his growing more and more uncomfortable the longer you sat there. “So uh... did I get the job or...”

He leaned over and put his hand on your thigh giving you chills, “Oh yes of course! Come with me and we’ll get you an apron and a name tag.” He stood up, “I hate to ask but would you mind starting today? Tasha, despite being a brat, is our best trainer and she’s here today.” 

You swallowed back your instinct to slap him for touching you, “Yeah that shouldn't be a problem.” You allowed yourself to relax as soon as his back was to you. Why were you doing this? Was this job really worth it? Working for a scummy boss and a trainer who for whatever reason hated you... But you needed a job. You couldn’t depend on Bakugo forever. 

You followed him behind the counter to what looked like a small break room. It consisted of a table a few chairs and cubbies to put your things. Tasha was currently occupying one of the chairs scrolling through her phone. Riku walked over and squeezed her shoulder, “Okay break time’s over. You need to start training the new girl.”

She looked up from her phone and locked eyes with you, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.. you actually hired her?!” 

Before he could even respond you sat down next to her, “Yes he did hire me, and I would like to officially burry the hatchet.” You reached your hand out to hers but she didnt take it. 

She stood up, “Whatever. Go get your stupid apron and meet me by the register.”

You looked at Riku who just shrugged, “Like I said... she's a brat. But I’m sure she’ll warm up to you eventually.” He handed you and apron, “Now get out there before she throws another fit. I can only handle her in small doses.” 

You pulled your hair up into a bun, threw your apron on and scurried out to catch up with Tasha. She was already by the register taping her fingers in annoyance, “Hurry up will ya! I don’t have all day.” 

You spent the next several hours learning in great detail about how to ring things into the register. She may not be very nice but she was in fact a great and thorough trainer. You were so excited to move on and start learning about all the machines and what they did. As the day went on she became more patient and her voice started to lose the board and distasteful tone. 

It was about an hour before close when the bell rang signaling a customer had walked into the store. Tasha gave you a look. “Alright lets see how much you learned. I’ll let you do this all on your own.” 

Giddy with excitement you skipped over to the  register, “Hello welcome in! What can I get-” Your eyes locked with a very, VERY, angry Bakugo. 

His hands were firmly planted on the counter in between the two of you. “Where the fuck have you been? I go all day without hearing from you then I get home to see that the food I had left for lunch was untouched and you were nowhere to be found! What the fuck Y/n!? Are you trying to kill me! I thought something had happened to you... I thought... I thought.” 

You reached your hand out and placed it on top of his, “You thought the worst. I completely understand, and I’m sorry I caused you to panic. I should have called to let you know but I wanted to surprise you... Surprise... I got a job...” 

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, “Well you could have at least left a note..” He was already starting to calm down. As soon as he knew you were okay and safe he found it hard to actually be mad. “You know you don’t need a job right? It’s not like I’m going to start charging you rent..”

You rubbed your thumb over his hand, “Yeah but you should. You’ve been helping me adjust and part of that means I need to make my own money. I cant depend on you forever.”

He scoffed, “Says who? You’re an idiot if you think I’d ever kick you out to fend for yourself. I may be an asshole but I’m not that mean.... Is it even safe for you to have a job.”

You smiled and lightly shrugged, “Why wouldn't it be?”

He narrowed his eyes, “Think about it... A public place where anyone could see you.”

“I’m here practically every day anyways!”

“Yeah but usually you're here with me...” He groaned, “Don’t make me get you a fucking babysitter. Because I fucking will.” 

You giggled, “Please Bakugo! It’s part time. I’ll only be here 3 days a week. I really want to do this. I need to do this.” 

He groaned again, “Fine. But I’m waiting until you get off and I’m walking you home. It’s late enough as it is and I dont want you walking home alone.” 

He started to walk towards one of the couches when you shouted after him, “Well you might as well order something while you wait! You’ll be my first customer.”

He could see how happy you were and it softened him up just the smallest bit, “Alright I’ll take the usual.”

You crinkled your nose, “Your usual or my usual?”

He cocked an eyebrow, “We have the same usual dumbass. You practically forced me to drink that girly cinnamon bun latte shit and now its unfortunately my favorite drink...”

You blushed, “Right.. Coming right up.”

He paid for his coffee and took a seat in his usual spot. The very same couch Riku had tried to get you to sit on earlier. You wondered if you should tell him about that. But you also barley got him to agree to you having a job. Not that he really had a say in what you do, but you still valued his opinion. You knew he would never say no to something unless he truly believed it was harmful in some way. 

You skipped around as you made the delicious latte that was also your favorite. Your mouth practically watering, craving one for yourself. When you were done you looked to Tasha. “So did I do it right?” 

Looking bored, “Considering how often you guys come in here, and how often I’ve had to make those... Yeah it looked like you did it right...” She took a step closer towards you, “You’ve worked pretty hard today and surprisingly haven't been a pain in my ass so how about I make you another one and you take a quick break with your boyfriend..”

“Oh, Bakugo isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my roommate. I can see why you'd be confused though. He's very protective. Believe me we’re working on that.” You fiddled with the lid of the coffee you had just made, “I just.... I just went through a lot. In a way its like I’m a bit broken and... well he’s taken it upon himself to help me put the pieces back together. Its not his job, and he knows that but he's determined to do it anyways.” 

Tasha gave you a regretful look before averting her eyes down to the floor, “I’m sorry... for being a bitch. Not that there’s any excuse but... I basically flirted with him like every day for years and he never even gave me a second look. And then all the sudden you were there and he was so nice and caring to you and I..  I was just a jealous bitch.. I’m sorry I hope you can forgive me.” She picked her eyes up to meet yours, “And just so you're know... He may not be your boyfriend officially, but he's definitely not just your roommate. In my experience guys don't care as much as he does unless they like you.” 

You felt yourself blush, “I promise you he doesn't like me the way that you think. He's just a really nice guy... and of course I can forgive you. I’m not the kind of person who holds grudges. Besides... I could really use a friend who isn't Bakugo.” 

Tasha smirked a bit, “I dont know if you want me as a friend. I dont know if you’ve heard but I’m kind of a brat.”

You laughed, “You're not so bad. As much as you didn't like me you never once gave me bad coffee. You always made my drink delicious despite hating me and I think that says a lot about you. You also had no reason to warn me about Riku but you did anyways. I think you're better than you give yourself credit for.” 

“OI! Dumbass! I know you’re new here but usually you get the persons coffee to them before it gets cold.” 

You both laughed and you rolled your eyes, “I better get his majesty his coffee before he explodes.” 

You walked over and plopped onto the couch besides Bakugo and handed him his coffee, “Has anyone ever told you you’re impatient?” 

He chuckled, “People dont usually have the balls too. But I think I’ve heard someone say that once or twice.” 

Tasha came up and handed you your coffee, “Alright just a quick break okay. 15 minutes and then I need to show you how to close up and clean the machines.” 

You smiled and took a sip, “Oh this is delicious thanks Tasha!” 

You turned back to Bakugo who was giving you such a soft smile.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that.”

He quirked an eyebrow “Is there anyone you cant wrap around your finer? That girl hated you yesterday and now she's smiling at you and making you coffee.”

You shrugged, “I find that being patient and empathetic gets you pretty far in life. You should try its sometime.”

“I think I’ll pass. But I will try this coffee... You didn’t poison it did you?” 

“Only a little bit, not enough to kill you though so don’t worry.”

He let out a heavy laugh, “Look at you, picking up on sarcasm already. I’m such bad influence on you.” He took a sip of his coffee and gave you an unreadable look. “Alright Y/n. I have to tell you... this coffee... is fantastic. I will be purchasing a latte machine for the apartment, and your rent will from here on out be you making me coffee. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.” 

You were both laughing when you could hear someone clear their throat behind you. You turned to see Riku crossing his arms across his chest and looking very annoyed, “Y/n... We have a strict fraternization policy. We don’t allow our girls to sit with the customers while on shift for any reason.” 

Your hand immediately went to Bakugos arms and squeezed. Trying to signal for him to let you handle it. “Sorry Riku. This is my roommate Bakugo. Tasha said it was okay for me too take a quick break out here before we start closing up.” 

Bakugo was staring at Riku but it didnt seem to affect the man what so ever. Instead his eyes just flicked to where you hand was on Bakugo’s arm and he grew even angrier. “I don't care what Tasha said. I’m the manager. All breaks are to be taken in the break room. Employees only. And speaking of closing, it’s about time your little friend left.” 

Before you could stop him Bakugo was standing up and getting in Riku’s face, “You may be her boss, but you don’t tell me what to do. It’s late and it’s dark outside. So I’m going to sit my ass down on this couch until she’s ready to leave and then I’m going to walk her home. You got that asshole?” 

You were straight up panicking now. What was he doing? Was he trying to get you fired on your first day?! You put your hand on Bakugo’s chest, “Honestly I’m fine. You can wait outside if you want Bakugo it’s no big deal.”

You started to walk back to the counter when Riku grabbed you arm but his eyes remained glued to Bakugo’s, “If you know what's best for you you’ll wait outside. I have the power to make Y/n’s life here.... difficult. If she wants a job here then she has to follow my rules like the good little girl that she is...” He gave your ass a quick slap and that was it... all hell broke loose. 

Bakugo had Riku by the neck and pushed against the wall in seconds. His other hand that was sparking furiously up next to his face. “Who the FUCK do you think you're talking to?! I am Ground Mother Fucking Zero! You have NO RIGHT to touch her like that!” His hand got closer to Riku’s now terrified face. His voice dropped an octave and you had to admit it was terrifying, but it was also kind of... hot. “You’re fucking lucky I dont send you to the fucking hospital, but honestly I dont want to deal with the paperwork. So instead I want you to pack your shit like the good little boy that you are.... and get the fuck out. And you better fucking PRAY that I never see you again.” 

With that Bakugo threw him to the ground and turned too you. “You sure you need a job?”  

*****************************************************************************************************

Tags: @theoneforallkiddeku​ @dexterous-deku @salkandari98 @malibusurfer56​

@emotions-and-potions @carolinawindsay​ @fukyouthink​ @targaryens-blog​ @opentheskeletonkey​ 

[kateknowsdramas]

Hi! I stumbled upon your post about the age difference in goblin vs backstreet rookie and I suddenly got reminded of Itaewon Class. I love yiseo/parksaeroyi but I realized that they too have huge age difference and that yiseo also started taking interest in the 30years old man when she was just a high school student, she even gave up going to college for him. But when I watched IC I wasnt bothered at all with the age difference. What do you think about the age difference between the two?

Hi Nonnie!

Excellent ask. I guess I first have to say that I’m not opposed to age gaps, per se. They can work in a drama and in life (my brother in law is 12 years older than my sister) so it’s not just the age difference that I disliked in Backstreet Rookie - Saet Byeol’s character portrayal combined with the age issue as well as the other problematic elements in the show is what turned me off.

Ji Chang Wook turns 33 this year and Kim You Jung turns 21 - 12 years in relation to the fact that she’s just turning 21. In her previous drama in 2018, she was 19 paired with a 31 year old man. That’s not cool. It reminds me of that graph of the age hollywood actresses were in relation to the male love interests and it shows a shocking and disturbing trend to pair older men with much younger women. Women don’t expire after 30 - or 40 - or 50 - so it really bugs me when they have to cast a much younger women with an actor in his 30′s. But that’s a rant for another day.

Getting to Itaewon Class, yes, another age gap and another high school girl in love with older man scenario. However, Park Seo Joon is 32 and Da Mi is 25 - seven years. For me, that’s not a super huge gap. So, when she’s in high school, he’s still in his 20′s. 

Why this one worked is, again, how they portrayed Yi Seo. She didn’t immediately fall for Saeroyi as soon as she met him. He intrigued her because of his very strict moral compass and she wasn’t used to that from the people around her. The show spent time showing Yi Seo ‘investigating’ him, watching him face off against Geun Won and observing how he reacts to it all in a measured, reasonable way. This is diametrically opposite to her reactive, impulsive and selfish nature. Her infatuation with him by the end of episode 4 is more due to the fact that he’s providing her with an emotional stability she didn’t have in her life. 

Now...she did kiss him when he was passed out. Not cool. Very not cool. Shows need to stop that trope period. That wasn’t really sexualizing her like Backstreet Rookie did to Saet Byeol though. I viewed that scene as more of a testament to her immaturity and controlling nature - doing things because she wanted something from the other person. Which, of course, she matures past as the story progresses.

As for Saeroyi, he had very firm boundaries with her from the start and didn’t think of her in a romantic sense until the latter part of the show when she was an adult. Their relationship started as more of a mentor/mentee relationship and moved to love in the end because Yi Seo showed her willingness to learn from her mistakes, mature emotionally as well as provided him with the commitment and devotion that Soo Ah couldn’t. 

In the course of the story, we see both of these characters grow emotionally and come to a point where their relationship makes sense and the age gap isn’t problematic. 

Sorry - I always turn these kinds of asks into an in-depth analysis! I hope that answers your question and thanks for taking time to send it to me. :)

[calondokter]

2021 New Year Resolutions!

I can’t believe its been a year of 2020.

2020 was a tough year for the health of the world, but its actually pretty good for me. I spent most of my time at home, with my family. And i found that to be grateful of.

I am deeply sorry for those who lost their family member or their friend for covid viruses.

I hope next year would be different and safer for everyone to finally meet again and get to spend their time with their loved ones.

So here are some of my resolutions for the better me next year. I am in no control of the surroundings and what might be happening next year, but i can always choose to bettering myself all over again. 

Never get tired of hoping for some good changes!

1. I really, really, really want to achieve better scores on my exams. I want to be one of the smartest person among my colleagues. My scores for the past 123 semesters wasnt good, i got a lot of C+, and very lack of A and B. For the next semester, i’m promising myself i’ll get a lot of A. For the heck of myself becoming a good doctor, i have to be a good student first. I’ll study harder and smarter. My tip is to study with a friend, and by friend i mean by watching a youtube of a person studying live with the podomoro methods. (25 minutes focus, and 5 minutes break. After 4 session, take a 30 minute break) Or, 30 minutes focus and 10 minutes break, depends how i’m doing. I’ve gotten better scores at my finals last week, but not all good. I’ll be doing much better next semester and have my college-grading-chart going up and up and better and better and i will enjoy studying more and more and becoming the real me. 

I love studying i can’t lie. I love learning new things. For me, knowledge is power, it is something that can NEVER be taken away from you. Therefore, i must learn new things everyday, and keep being hungry of information all the time. Being stupid is a part of being smart. Stay foolish and keep learning. It doesnt have to be suffering, it can be challenging and hard. But where’s the value of it if it has been easy?

I believe i can be a good doctor and make myself proud of me, i always will.

2. Give more love, less hate! i want to be more mature.

I’m so sick of drama, and hating one another person and being rude and being mad to myself. I want to love more. It is going to be some people who wont like me no matter how i treat them. Screw them. They dont deserve my attention. They might annoy me, but i’m not their goal of life, their thoughts of me is just temporary, they too have a life. I shouldnt be worry for those who are not pleased by me. I am pleased by myself and thats enough to make me happy.

But you know who do?

My best friends. I can’t write those names because that wont be fair to be shouted out loud in a website like this. I’m keeping it all in my heart. And the person who always been there for me, since day one, keeping me alive, getting me some rest, giving me love and care and affection and attention of all time: me.

I want to give more love to myself, as well as educate myself, taking care of myself, compliment myself, and being there with me thru hard time and low time. I will always be mindful of what i’m doing.

3. Read more

I can’t stress this enough but reading wasnt really my preference of spending my time. It always counted as studying. So in the new year, i want to make it as a relaxing form of hobby for me. Like watching k-drama. i want to make my brain used to read.

I really want to enjoy reading books as much as i want to be a smart person. So, here for more chances to being a better me. Toward the best version of me!

I will be reading more self help books, not because i need help, but because i might use it to help others. Reading books are just like reading people’s mind. 

It opens our mind because we are trying to understand the point that the writer was trying to tell us. A book is only written by a person, that is why it is more personal than a movie. And it’ll make us think better and be smarter. i hope i can be a better reader from time to time.

4. Calm, elegant, and beautiful

Just like how the brain, beauty, the behaviour is by far the most important thing. It’s the one thing that can save me from stupid things that can be avoided. 

I want to be a person who i adore. I want to be elegant, i want to be pretty inside and out. I want to have the vibe of nurturing. I want to be proud of myself and for other people to be comfortable around me.

I want to be calm, not easily panic, i want to have control of how i react to things. I want to control my feelings instead of my feelings control me. 

I want to feel better, and better emotions on me. 

I will grow up to be the person who makes me comfortable spending time alone. I want to be ready for the relationship i’ll have with a guy but very well with myself first.

And i think, it is all started from the willingness i have on my mind, down to my heart, and will be real into my action.

5. I am manifesting good things coming my way.

no need to explain this any further. good things ARE coming for me, and each new year it will be. My life become more challenging as i have chosen medical to be my calling. 

I want to save lifes.

And i want to be a good person in general, a person who give other love. Give them comfort, heal them. I want to be able to look back to my past self, and say “you done well, thank you” 

this 2021 will add new memories for me, and will give me more strength of becoming the person i will be. 

I will be a good person, like i always been.

[sailorvinusmoved]

🍒🍇 !

✨ @shimmerseas. meme. still accepting!

🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  

at this point of his life, he could take it or leave it. virote never was someone that heavily relied on companionship. he has it, sure! loves the people in his life. loves them to death, he'd do almost anything for them. however, he knows that he wouldn't wither away without them. depending on other people in any sense isn’t his style. he kept one friend from high school, he never had to room with anyone during college since he got a house the moment he turned 18, he wasnt even that social during college, and most of the people in his life... he met at the dance studio where he works. 

he was never the type to go out and seek. if a friendship blossoms from a connection, that’s a lovely thing. if not, he won’t stress on it. if you see him out and about, he’s alone. outside of his cat, he lives alone. if he goes to a party, he’s usually alone sans sitting with a couple of people and talking with them. really... he just goes to parties because he knows there’s drama afoot and he loves a good trainwreck. also weed brownies. even when he goes to the club, he’s there with like. one person! or himself!

no matter what, he’s always drawn a thick line between what he considers socializing for friendship and socializing to network.

so, vi values companionship. he considers it a way to grow as a person. buuuut, it’s not a priority since he’s so choosey about who earns it. i will say that him being in an abusive romantic relationship with someone that isolated him from society probably plays a role in this. i don’t think he’s had this realization, yet.

🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to mature,  and why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood?  

answered here>:)