#like there are other ships as enjoyable and complex but to me in my head. poolverine just makes so much SENSE

[gossippool]

can i just say that to me there is not a single ship out there that makes more sense than poolverine. in my head just the fact that wade and logan exist at the same time necessitates them being together. it simply has to happen

[mydearlybeloathed]

── 𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐑

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a soft day on the beach for a swordsman and mermaid. they're really not as odd a pair as they sound.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: zoro x mermaid!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: mermaid!reader, continuation of this fic, fluffy shenanigans, requested

Having a human boyfriend wasn’t as hopelessly romantic as the girls in your pod made it out to be. Sure, the idea of star-crossed love was appealing, and the physical nature of human boys was certainly something to admire. But really, you didn't care much for human men in the carnal sense—Zoro was your exception.

Usually, you were nothing but doting on him, flaws and all, and he did the same for you. The pair of you slouched together, brooded together, gossiped together, napped together. You both wore the other’s sensual markings dotting your skin with pride, flaunting them even.

But sometimes, tensions do rise.

You watched as Nami and Robin headed down from the ship to the sandy beach down below, wanting nothing more than to join them, but you would find it much more enjoyable if your swordsman joined you. But all Zoro wanted to do was sleep.

You stood over him, fangs peeking out as you bit your lip. “Everyone’s gone down to the beach.”

He grunted in reply, eyes shut contently. Narrowing your eyes, you stepped sideward and let the rays of sun you’d been blocking hit his face. Zoro contorted uncomfortably, blinking up at you. “Huh?”

“I’d like to swim with you,” you stated simply. 

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun.”

He rolled his eyes and shifted away from the sun. “Hard pass.”

The deck went dangerously silent aside from the far off sounds of the sea, so he wasn’t all too shocked to crack one eye open and find you fuming over him. “Something wrong?”

“Yes!” You huffed and crossed your arms. “My boyfriend won’t swim with me, his beautiful, amazing, awesome mermaid girlfriend.”

He gave you a single sigh, and you knew you had him hook, line, and sinker. A pleasant smile spread over your face as Zoro heaved himself to his feet, barley sparing you a glance even as he slung an arm around your shoulder. He sported a scant grin, so he wasn’t too frustrated. “Can we go on a walk after?”

“Oh, so now you’re contributing?” You nuzzled into his side and stepped onto the soft sand. “Yeah, we can go on a walk.”

Zoro’s cheeks dusted pink, chin ducked like he wasn’t a big romantic under all that muscle. But you knew the truth, even when Sanji pleaded with you to see sense and leave the mossheaded swordsman. Like you’d ever listen to the stupid cook anyway.

“Thanks,” you murmured into his skin, kissing his hand draped on your shoulder. “I could’ve gone without you, but I didn’t want to.”

Your bluntness always warmed his heart, even when your words came out less than tender as they just did. He kissed your temple briefly, Zoro’s attention caught by Luffy and Usopp splashing each other in knee deep water. A bright laugh left you and you were gone, fleeing his side to bound into the ocean. Ten seconds later, you yelped, falling head first into the lapping waves, a vibrant tail flipping up where your feet should be.

Chuckling after you, Zoro waded in to just below his knees, arms folded over his chest. Your soaked form floated through the shallows, arms gliding your way through. He watched with amusement as your ducked underwater and raced at Usopp’s legs, clamping your hands around his ankles and sending the poor guy leaping back to the beach. That’s when he bellowed out a laugh. Your eyes darted to find him in an instant, warmth spreading from fin to face as his smile consumed you whole. 

Laugh fading, Zoro’s eyes fluttered open to your hot-cold gaze. You always bit at him harshly when he said you’re an open book, but it’s the truth—Zoro loved being able to tell what you’re thinking, never having to make complex deductions like he often does with everyone else. And though it made his skin feel warm and tight, he could see now exactly the depth of what you felt for him. Something in that was immensely assuring. 

He shed his shirt in one motion, hurling it back on the sand and trudging to meet you in deeper water. Standing over you, he let slip a warmer smirk than usual. Your eyes peeked up over the water, smile warped below the surface. The water lapped at Zoro’s chest as your hands reached for his shoulders, and you dragged yourself up in his body to hang off his neck, nose inches away from his own.

“Hey, sailor,” you giggled. 

He huffed a laugh. “Hey, fish.”

You swept your tail around his legs, curling around his limbs till he nearly toppled over, your lips a stiff line. “Careful, Zoro-Mine.” 

His eyes took on a darker tone, the name you’d gifted him some months ago capturing his attention wholly. Zoro nosed at your cheek, humming softly. “Walk?”

“I’ve barely cooled off!” You snorted, pushing his face away as you slipped right through his arms, ducking underwater and darting off before his hands could catch you. You emerged at Nami’s side, scaring her out of her skin, a laugh stifled by your pruning fingertips. 

Maybe an hour rolled off your shoulders before you scanned the area for your swordsman, finding him sitting atop the powdery sand with his eyes set on the horizon. Zoro practically glared at the sky, so much so that he didn’t notice you dragging yourself up the shore till your soft grunts of effort met his ears. Jolting to attention, Zoro reached to scoop under your arms and pulled you closer, resting you between his legs. He leaned his head on your temple, your body melting into him as his warmth spread to your cold skin.

“Ready?” he mumbled. You nodded gently, and when the sun dried out your scales and made them retreat into your skin, Zoro clutched your hand to alieve that familiar sting all through your body. Your tail parted down the middle and formed two ever-awkward legs. By some ancient magic neither of you understood, your clothes sparkled to existence along your skin. 

Zoro gripped your hands and rocketed you off the ground, relishing in the little laugh you gave when you landed on your feet. You called over your shoulder absently mindedly, not entirely caring if the others heard you, eyes fixated on Zoro alone. “We’ll be back before dark!”

You faintly heard Nami’s, “Yeah right,” before you led Zoro into the forest with a slight skip.

Having a human boyfriend could be exciting at times. Zoro never frowned at your questions, always ready with a reply whether he really knew the answer or not. He could toss you over his shoulder and race you through the trees (and somehow you always win despite your fawn-like legs). 

You just broke through another low-hanging branch when Zoro caught your hand, swinging you around into his chest. Bubbling laughter, you flashed a fanged smile up at him, gaze swallowing him whole. Zoro traced your cheek with a fingertip, simply admiring your expression as it softened into one of blissful content. 

With a shake of his head and a gentle grin, Zoro slung his arm over your shoulder and started to walk back to the beach. “Let’s just walk back, yeah? I don’t have the energy to lose another race.”

You chuckled into his shoulder. “Sure. I don’t care to win anymore anyways.”

(The fact that he always let you win hung in the air, unspoken and tender on your heart).

Time slipped right through your hands, and soon enough the sun dipped below the treeline up above. You watched it disappear through the dense branches. “Nami was right. We’re gonna be late.”

Zoro’s shrug shook your body. “She’s usually right, but she doesn’t need to know that.”

“So… we should stay out all night to scare her instead?” He cast you a smile. “Read my mind.”

Having a human boyfriend could be annoying too, sure. At times their kind perplexed you, turning you around till you didn't know left from right. Yet the only ones who held you steady were on that crew--Zoro's crew.

Zoro was human, and he couldn't help it, and you found yourself caring less and less with every day that went by, till he was no longer your human boyfriend, but simply Zoro-Mine, who happened to be human.

And with every day that passed, you lost the title of mermaid girlfriend in his mind as well, and became only yourself, who happened to sprout a tail when he took you up in his arms, ran out to the moonlit ocean, and tossed you squealing back into the waves.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:

@100520s @murnsondock

[neuroticbookworm]

For the character ask, Kiyoi from UK

Oh ho ho, my messy child who’s in love with my other, more feral, messy child.

How I feel about this character

I want to study him under a microscope. He’s my little research project I wanna carry around in my pocket even if he’s radioactive and will actively poison me. My Utsukushii Kare watch experience is definitely up there in the top 10 of my list of most frustrating yet satisfying media experiences, and it was mainly because I could not figure out what was going on in Kiyoi’s head until the final episode. He’s a well-written, complex character with excellent side-eye game. What’s not to like?!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I’ve only shipped him with Hira because

Only Hira matches his freak

I don’t want my and the other person’s face clawed off

My non-romantic OTP for this character

This is interesting because most of his friends suck, and also he is bad at making friends. But I watched Utsukushii Kare 2 pretty recently and really enjoyed his interactions with the more experienced and accomplished actor and his colleague, Anna. They’re in similar enough boats that Kiyoi was able to get good advice and share light-hearted banter with her. I enjoyed it!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I did not watch this live so I have no idea what constitutes as unpopular opinion. He’s my enjoyable little mess and I think most people agree

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I need him to sign both of them up for therapy.

give me a character ask game

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (3)

au where all robins develop a mental link after fighting some magical criminal of the week. what would they see in each other's minds? what secrets and repressed feelings do they discover? how would they deal with it?

for the ask game!

oooh, i love telepathic links that end up revealing secrets. especially with a family like the Batfam, who are usually so convinced they're good enough at reading each other to not have many secrets kept. so weird reveals are always fun

if i did this, i'd do DamiTim. just because of all the like, "deep dark feelings that are being hidden" for Robin shipping, DamiTim is the most fun for me. you expect DickTim or DickJay or JayTim, even DamiDick. but there's something that's so enjoyable about Damian having his feelings forcibly outted. not just to Tim, but to everyone. the way it'd be an active landmine none of them knowing what to say but all feeling each other's reactions. i honestly think Damian would try to punch somebody about it. (also, if you do a history of TImSteph where they've had sex, Damian would be directly linked to Steph's memories of how Tim was in bed, so that's fun as both something horrifying and enlightening just to screw with his feelings some more.) would they end up together? in my head probably, but it'd be weird and likely toxic bc how do you date someone you know inside out and know exactly what they think of all your flaws and what parts of you they obsess over. the answer is not very well but hey, the sex is good-

i think Jason *directly* feeling how everyone felt about his death would really rock him. he's heard all the apologies, but part of him isn't convinced there's truth to them. so to be crushed by Dick's *grief* over his death would be a come to jesus moment for him. but on the less fun flipside, you have him feeling how Dick feels about him *now*. because Dick doesn't really *like* Jason and deep down, sees Jason as a lost cause. that's his "deep dark secret". and Jason would feel and know that from the one person who he still wants to believe in him. i really do think Jason would have the Worst Time with all this, overwhelmed with everyone's intimate and complex feelings over his death. Jason is a very defensive person when it comes to his death and how reactionary he gets when other people make it about them, not him. so for Jason to have to constantly deal with that in his head, i truly do think he'd lash out a bit. the arguments. yelling at Dick and feeling Dick's guilt and snapping bc Dick has no right to feel guilty now. feeling that Tim viewed Jason as a failure. it's just a damaging mindspace to be in and man do i think Jason would take a While to recover.

oddly though, i think it'd be a good bonding moment for Steph and Jason. we really don't get much exploration of Steph and Jason bonding over dying. bc sure, Steph didn't actually die, but she *did* experience the social death where everyone believed she was dead and mourned her as such for a good while. she also felt *directly* responsible for her own death. a lot of blame falls on Steph for War Games (for the Doylist reasons of sexism but yk) and Jason feels responsible for his own death for walking into a trap. but unlike Jason, Steph had no suit in a case, no memorials, her name held no infamy. so i think she deserves just a bit of righteous fury about how dramatic Jason can be while she just has to move on bc hey, it's not like she *really* died. and she buries those feelings well, but not well enough to hide them from a mental link. and Jason, who hasn't really considered Steph before because he was so wrapped up in his complex over Tim, confronts those feelings with her. if anyone is going to know how he feels, it's going to be her. you could do it platonic or romantic, but i do think when Jason sinks to his lowest, she's the one who snaps him out of it, both with tough love and genuine compassion for his situation.

for the less serious crack of it all: they're all going to have far too intimate knowledge of each other's sex lives. everyone's gonna know Dick has fucked Slade. everyone's gonna know Jason has fucked Talia. in my heart, i believe Tim has slept with Anarky (Lonnie, not Ulysses) and everyone would *know* that too. absolute judgment all around. it's the spider-man meme of "wait you've done WHAT with WHO" and honestly, it gives a nice distraction for the more serious feelings. it's a palette cleanser they can default to. like when the fighting gets a little too serious and they're cutting too deep for comfort, someone's going to blurt out "well at least i didn't fuck Deathstroke." and the whole moment goes awry with laughter. bc i do think, at the end of it once they get through the worst of the angst, they'd be closer for it and self-aware of the ridiculous nature of all this. it's enlightening, in a way to see how they all felt about their time as Robin and the baggage/trauma they hold. even the ugliest feelings they hold for each other don't completely suffocate the fondness/respect.

that said, knowing the baggage/trauma. oof. i don't think Dick has ever fully opened up about his history with Mirage/Tarantula/Liu and now it's forced to sit in the open. Damian has never admitted the worst of being raised in the League. Tim hasn't fully faced the suffocating image of his dead father and his deep-seated want to kill Boomerang. all those ugly truths they stamp down bc well, either you're a vigilante or you're a well adjusted person, are out in the open now. and it's ugly and gruesome to force those thoughts to be shared. they all want to comfort each other for different reasons, while simultaneously not wanting their own trauma to be acknowledged. it'd be fun to see who'd instinctively react to whose trauma first. because it's an overwhelming rush of information, and you just naturally get pulled in certain directions. i think Damian would react to Dick's history of sexual abuse first, whereas Jason would be reacting to the murderous rage TIm is trying to fight off. Tim is reacting to just how much guilt Steph carries about War Games and all of it is very crunchy. there's so much they'd all have to talk about and it'd take days for them to address it all, between the arguments about the ugly parts. would they come out stronger for it? yes. but only if they didn't kill each other in the process. i hesitate to do a "and they come out one big happy family" ending, bc it's not very in canon, but i do think the bond of the Robin mantle is something special. even when the link is broken, they hold onto a freakish understanding of each other. they react and move in sync, can fight together without needing words. are they emotionally on the same page/have they forgiven each other for the worst of it? absolutely not. but they've got each other backs. it's a very much "if you called i'd drop everything to save you. but also we don't have it in us to hang out casually." bond, which i think is deeply underrated in fanfiction. sometimes, you can care about people but you have to do it from a distance.

[yuseirra]

I'm drawing a comic~ for the meantime...this manga honestly made me so frustrated and pissed earlier, I just ranted on and I found it so funny to read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, here's how I feel about it rn!!

oh, this is such a perfect time to take a break from it though, i constantly feel so nervous about creating something for it because things escalate fast and I need to make good sense of it and reflect it into my works EVERY week. I am nuts for staying accurate to the source material (it may not seem like it but I'm really a perfectionist and I wish to do a good job getting the characters right) This work has a knack for making me feel extremely tense. It's been that way for the past three months I've hopped in, it's nice and enjoyable to have something to be invested on but sometimes it gets too much.. people are growing insane and pointing knives at each other, our protagonist stabbed himself and fell into the waters. The fact that I think it was an utterly foolish decision for him to have been that way does not help. I do not support what he's done. It does make a pretty impressive scene considering it's a manga and the art looks good, I think they planned that scene to be there from the beginning too but Sigh

I think he directed his anger to the wrong guy. I am not convinced that was the right choice he's made so I hate the look of it. Way to feel this way about the main character huh,

I can't draw.. when things make me this nervous, what else is going to unfold? I feel like I can see the big picture for the whole thing, but there is no way I can predict all the little details and what if things get super ugly, even uglier than how it is now?? I can't possibly work with that, it's just so hard!; Mengo-san Aka-san, what did I do to deserve this?? I came in because I thought I understood what this is!!! I have a good idea of how things are going to go!!! Why do you have to make everything SO MESSY?? It's frustrating. I AM collecting the physical volumes you know? I WANT TO TILL THE END?? please don't make me regret it, You seriously AREN'T going to make the one guy Ai confessed her love to a total freak. You know that and I know it too. It's just out there and set in stone, goodness. This isn't funny. This is so pointless. It wears me out ugghhh it's not about the ship I mean, it's about the message!!! the plot!!!!!! I really don't like how this manga makes things way more complex than what it actually is. It doesn't have to be that way.

Heheh. I ranted again- the stuff below's what I wrote earlier. Honorable mention to chatgpt for helping me translate it.. this is just. I just want things to get resolved. It's getting so dumb.

***

Kamiki is drowning and getting dragged away, Aqua stabs himself, then floats on the water with a melancholy expression on his face… and then there's a break for two weeks or so, right? Ugh, seriously.

But honestly, even in this weirdly ended situation, I’m actually glad there’s a break. If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to write things like this. I get too nervous to write because I really hate making mistakes. I genuinely don’t like it. Normally, I wouldn’t enjoy talking about uncertain situations like this…

But what can I do when I see things?;;; If I didn’t understand anything at all, I wouldn’t be able to write something like this, and if I didn’t have enough time, I wouldn’t have time to think about it, so I wouldn’t be able to write then either. But now that I do understand, it’s just… so frustrating, suffocating, nerve-wracking, and I feel all fidgety because of it.

Honestly, this manga should just release one chapter and then take a break. Release one chapter and then take a break. It would be nice to have about a week to think about it with a clear mind. It’s so exhausting, really. I feel like I know where this is all headed in the end, but the creators have been dragging things out so slowly. Even with the Aqukana storyline, I got so tired with how they handled it that I took a break from reading it last year…

The story hands you the key. It even clearly shows you the door that the key can open. But then it puts up dozens of other doors next to it, meaningless ones. Even after giving you all the answers, it tries to confuse you. But you can see right through it. And while doing that, it points to each door saying, 'Isn't this door pretty~~~ How about that one?' constantly taunting you along. All while it's them that's given you the key already in the first place.

It’s really frustrating… I’m so tired. If I couldn’t see anything, I’d just watch while grumbling or be like, 'Oh…' and keep my distance without overthinking it. But it’s suffocating and frustrating not knowing why they’re doing such pointless things, and it makes me anxious too…

Well… I could just take a break, but… I really like Ai. And when I look at the man she loved, I feel like he could actually be a really good character too, so I watch carefully… There’s a lot to dig into. It would be nice to shift the focus onto the other characters, too, but…

Seriously, nothing’s been properly resolved, has it? They’ve been dragging it out for ages. The characters keep doing crazy things. You can’t end a story like this. It’s just… they're not writing well, but they’re doing it on purpose. This manga is like that; the creators enjoy twisting things, and I should just enjoy that too, but I don't think I do. I just want to use the key and go through the door; I’m not interested in looking at the various door knobs. I wish they’d just stop now. I feel like I know what’s going on. That’s why I’m here to draw fan art. I get so up and down every week, but if the outcome isn’t what I’m thinking, I have no idea what it could be, and I don’t think it would make for a good story at all. I’m not saying it has to go the way I want for it to be a good story! It’s just… if it doesn’t, it feels like the message will completely collapse. It’s not about the couple… Even if the characters die, as long as the story is good, that’s fine, but the framework has to hold up!

About Kamiki's state,

his trauma and the dire-ness of his mentality is probably even more serious than Aqua’s, right? And I actually got that right too.

They said they only felt alive when they were with Ai. That means, in essence, they’re as good as dead now. But if they still want to keep living in that state, it means there was something they believed they had to do.

That’s likely related to the wishes mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal.

‘I want to see you. I want your life to return.’ (Mephisto)

‘I want to get closer to you. I want to receive your love again.’ (Fatal)

'For that, I can do anything. I can even offer my life. I can sacrifice anything. What more do I need to use?' <(Common themes in both songs)

In short, it’s all about 'I want to see you.'"

The "you" here refers to Ai.

That’s what it is.

Well… when you think about it, what Kamiki is doing now is essentially that. His underlying wish was that, but the way he’s going about it has become completely twisted. I don’t think he developed this kind of logic on his own. He’s been influenced or possessed by something. Because he was never someone who could hurt others.

This character didn't harm Ai… I truly believe he wouldn't have hurt her. Everything he’s doing now, in his own way, is probably for Ai. It’s just that he’s gone mad.

And thus, you can infer he's in such a serious condition, yet it hasn’t been highlighted at all.

They made his past so tragic and horrifying (I try to thoroughly analyze the character's psychological state; as I mentioned before, I try to sync up with their emotions…), and yet, with this character, there are parts I just can’t dive into because it’s too overwhelming. It’s plainly obvious. He’s not in his right mind right now. He’s too depressed and tormented to be alive.

Think about it, he’s been through extremely serious things since he was at least ten years old, maybe even younger… Just thinking about it makes me… I once considered exploring this, incorporating to my works, but I simply couldn’t. I really couldn’t… it’s too horrifying!

If the author had written him in a way where he turned into a serial killer because he developed a hatred for women or something like that, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive it. Even though I haven’t experienced such things, I feel I know enough of it to say that would be too shallow, convenient, and disrespectful. That’s really not how you handle such material. It’s beyond lazy—it's irresponsible. But I didn’t think it would go that way.

Whether this character ends up being revealed as the ultimate villain or not, if they’ve created a character like this and don’t address it properly, it’s not respectful to the character. It’s too much…

But I believe that the creators have a certain affection for what they’ve created, so I trust they’ll handle it. I just… want to see it handled properly. I think the delay is because they couldn’t fully express it while the anime was airing. They keep taking breaks and adjusting their pace; part of it might be due to the creators’ conditions, but I think they might have deliberately delayed introducing new content to match the anime’s schedule.

Honestly, I got into this because I knew. I realized, "Ah, this is what this character is going through."

He really liked Ai. It was set up in a way that he had no other choice but to become that way.

Other characters have their own core identity, right? Even if you strip away all their relationships with other characters, they have something of their own.

But when you look at this character, from the planning stage, everything was set to align with Ai, and without Ai, the character itself wouldn’t exist…;; He just collapses. Like in the lyrics, "I can’t live without Ai." The only consolation is that Ai truly did love him back… It’s like, the creators made this character specifically as a match for Ai, you know?

When you create a character like that, it’s only right to handle it in a way that makes that visible.

About his relationship with Ai… it’s not like I just think they look good together or something… It’s more like, when you look at the story and the way the characters are built, it’s obvious that they were made that way!!!

But even in the current situation and how ugly it is, there's one reason I think Ai made a good choice in picking him as her husband. She picked a extremely handsome guy and passed down superior looks to their kids haha. When you look at him, it doesn't make it seem like Ai is way out of his league in terms of looks, does it? She met someone who matched her well and dated him, that’s how it feels. I’m pretty sure they’re really gods, you know? They’re like the god of entertainment and the god of light. Their story is just too similar… they resemble each other so much… If you look at mythology, Ame-no-Uzume’s husband just fell for her at first sight, got swept along, married her, and they even shared a shrine, living happily together… Ame-no-Uzume just barged into his domain, made herself at home, and they got together right away. That god really married well. He ruled over not just one or two domains, but was a supreme indigenous deity and was considered just and noble… It’s like, “Oh, I like this one,” and she picked him like that. And judging by the drawings, Ame-no-Uzume was really beautiful… She was incredibly cute… I was so happy looking at that mythology. They bless the couple’s fate and marriage because they’re satisfied and happy with each other. People even make masks of the two gods and wear them together during festivals.

Look, if I’m a romance writer and I want to write something related to the entertainment industry, and I borrow mythology, and I know this couple's mythology? And then I write a story like this? Well… from my perspective, Kamiki is a mad god who went crazy after losing his wife. He genuinely loved Ai. Look at his expression in chapter 162. It’s the same as in chapter 153. He loved her that much, and on top of that, she was his savior, his lover, and even the mother of his child, raising them risking everything she's got. He believes she died because of his mistake—so what would he do? He might have thought about following her in death but couldn’t, so he thought, "If I do something, maybe Ai will come back." And when that didn’t work, he just ended up desperately wanting to see Ai again… I think that’s what drove him mad. I don’t think he’s in his right mind. He’s totally lost it. I mean, who could stay sane after losing someone like that for over a decade?

It’s not like the readers should have to guess why he’s fallen apart like this, right? It’s time for the story to show us. I’m really struggling with this—making deductions, writing, drawing—and every time a new chapter is released, people come to me, feeling sad or offering comfort. Seriously, I’m fine! isn’t it? Aren’t the creators romance writers? How could they not cover this? It’s not just about the couple—this is such rich material, and not using it would be a waste, don’t you think? And it doesn’t make sense… Why would they write it so that Ai loved someone truly strange? It’s not like that. Ugh, seriously.

As I always say, it’s not my work, so I could be completely wrong.

Still… it just feels like such a waste. Not using this? Not doing this?

I think all the clues are there… They’re doing this on purpose. Just wait and see. I’m not called the Prophet-type for nothing (INFJ)? When it comes to things like this, my intuition isn’t that bad. There are a lot of things I’ve figured out as soon as I saw them.

What’s frustrating about this manga is that if the plot progression itself is confusing, that’s fine as a mystery element.

But here, they give you all the answers, then pretend they haven’t, dragging things out while playing dumb. That really makes me go, “What are they doing?” It’s like they show all the answers and then, without reason, go off on a tangent. It’s like entering the destination into a navigation system, knowing where you’re supposed to go, but steering the car in the opposite direction for three hours.

Then, they turn around like nothing happened and head towards the destination. It’s pointless. If you don’t know the destination from the start, there’s a thrill as you go. But this just looks like foolishness. It’s like, eventually, it’ll come to this conclusion, but the story gives you the answer upfront and then insists, "Actually, no~" and lies about it. I don’t think it’s a very good method. It’s tiring…

Maybe it works in a volume format, but reading it as it’s released makes you wonder, "What’s even going on here?"

Haha, I came into this with confidence. At this point, there’s quite a bit that’s built up.

When I think about it, I’ve gotten all the critical parts right. Look at the expressions Kamiki makes when he looks at Ai. Does he look like someone who would order Ryosuke to kill Ai just because she rejected him?

This guy just can’t come to his senses after Ai’s death. He’s been doing everything he could just to see Ai again.

And if you’re still confused, the answer is always in Ai’s video message.

Would Ai, of all people, say she wanted to live forever with someone who ordered her death? That’s not how you write that story. The answer was already there, so I don’t know what this manga is doing.

That's why I'm not worried about Aqua right now! I'm mad! LOL. Hey, your dad definitely loved your mom more than anyone else in the entire world. He loved her more than his own life. Well, maybe you put Ruby first… But seriously, is he really so crazy that he tried to kill Ruby just to save Ai?!

But if that's the case, then it means he's not in his right mind, so he needs an exorcism…;;

How could Aqua not understand what kind of person his dad is, even after playing him as his role? Why can't he get a sense of it? Why didn't he listen, and instead tried to drown him in the ocean? Why did he do that? Is he really that evil? Am I missing something? Why are you like this? I can’t sympathize with it—was that really the only way? It doesn’t look that way to me. This is like a parade of fools, seriously. Did I completely miss the mark? Am I really wrong? Did I get everything wrong, and did I fail to see it properly? Then why does Ai’s video message say what it does?

Aqua, please get a grip. And Kamiki is out of his mind. He needs to go to a hospital. Seriously. What is all this?

That's all.

[nextinline-if]

I’ve seen people ask authors who they’d ship their characters with, but I’m curious which ROs, from other WIPs, are your favorite? Is there any specific reason?

I absolutely love your story so much! You’re wonderful!

I'm unsure if both of these asks are yours, but I'm sorry it took so long to answer (like months RIP). Screenshot one was recent the other is older. Also thank you anon for your sweet words. <3

I appreciate your no-choice-patience <3 This is such a fun question. I read it wrong for about 4 months and kept stressing about which ROs to ship with mine. My brain was NOT working.

I'm being fucking serious, unfortunately. Please laugh at me in the comments. </3

Here are some of my favorite ROs from other WIPs:

Seven - @infamous-if; I can write a paragraph about why I like Seven but does anyone really want that? Heh. When the game first started, I was SO ready to be like "f you Seven, you jerk!" And then we find out that Seven still has that tattoo. Okay, interest peaked. Well, played. You got me f'ed up. I like to play tropes where it's from ex - to enemies - to lovers. Juicy stuff right there.

Ari - @theoperativeif; There's something really enticing about not just a slow burn but a slow burn that has the extra burn because of the obstacles in the relationship that prevent you from reaching each other. Ouch. I normally don't like slowwwww burns. Like, a little slow is good cause it's realistic but like where I ONLY get to imagine them in my MC's head or in memories? Got me f'ed up. (Again). I think I like this because of the trauma the two characters have faced together. Is trauma bond a tope? Don't know but let's go with that.

Blade - @shepherds-of-haven; On a surface level, you get a character who fights for those he cares for, has strong convictions, and is hard to get close to. I'm a sucker for those. But on a deeper level, I really enjoy the way his story is written and told. Unearthing Blade's past and trying to weave your MC into this complex character's heart. Not sure what trope is going on here but I'll take it all.

Sol - @theabyssal; Yeah, my Death is pretty pissed at Sol right now...but you're telling me that literal sunshine fell for Death? The Abyssal has A+ writing as is, but adding an incredible love story like that really hooks my soppy lil heart. The complexities...THE COMPLEXITIES. I'm on the edge of my f-ing seat here people. I want Sol to suffer and beg my Death for forgiveness. And my Death will make Sol suffer emotionally and then accept the forgiveness :') (she's a weak betch)

Dara - @ataleofcrowns; I mean, I LOVE forbidden/let's romance my general type of vibe. But Dara is an exquisitely written character. The whole game is beautiful but the characters are so full of depth. There's always another layer. Plus, I normally play a shier MC but I like catching Dara off guard. It's so enjoyable. Got me giggling and shit.

There are plenty of other lovely ROs from amazing IFs that I like but these came to the top of my mind and I didn't want to make this too long. I like tropes that f me up emotionally. More tears = better. Rip my heart out. Maybe put it back in. Maybe leave is on the ground. Author's choice.

That said, I go for a lot of different tropes and try to do multiple playthroughs to romance all or most of the cast. I think every character can offer something different and I don't want to miss out <3

[night-dark-woods]

15, 21, 23, 24!!

THANK U ECHO this got so long oops.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmm not destiny-specific (i dont have any d2 specific gripes i dont think) & i mostly follow cool gay & trans ppl so this is much less of an issue than in the wider fandom (every so often some Main Fandom Art makes its way to me and i do a full double take) but like. i knowww they are almost all the same character model in-game but can we please get some characters who arent super skinny supermodels in here. please.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

not to sound like an edgelord but. the traveler. if we can acknowledge that the Darkness isnt ontologically Evil, i think we can (PLEASE) acknowledge that the Light isnt inherently good. and im not talking about the superpowers we get, they've (narrative team) made it quite clear that individuals choose to do what they will with based on their own morals. but the traveler is, imo, positioned as a Morally Good Agent Of The Light far more than the witness is Of The Darkness, and i think we need to talk more about the traveler's agenda!!! again, this complexity isnt completely absent from the narrative, but it doesnt feel like those interpretations are... metatextually supported igss? like zavala's frustration with the traveler leaving feels more like a very christian (as someone who was not raised religious) test of faith that zavala (and the canonical YW) have Passed and will be Rewarded.

where's tevis my best friend tevis. we need more characters with that pov. god is real god resurrected you god gave you a second chance at life with no memories of your past and a guardian angel (a "chattering oversoul," to quote toland) to tell you where to go and who deserves to die and raise you every time you fail just to throw you back into the divine crusade. like. lets talk about that a little more!!!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

this is hard bc i am in general very willing to "yes-and" ANYTHING with a hint of chemistry or a fun dynamic. it may not compell me but if you can point out a narrative similarity btwn characters i will almost always be down. unless its one i hate ("hate" being a strong word. really its just the strongest possible apathy) bc i contain multiudes :thumbsup:.

i can't think of a pairing i started out disliking and then changed my mind about due to fandom unfortunately. the closest would be igss that i hate crow/amanda as its written in the text BUT my perhaps controversial opinion is i think transitioning could fix crow specifically the version of crow i have in my head who did not get uldren's memories back. SotL was so good for the overarching plot of d2 but so so so bad for the type of awoken-enjoyer i am & imo the like... thesis statement of what a guardian is lol!

so unfortunately i dont have an answer for this one (i dont think "i like the pretend version i made up in my head" counts as coming around on a ship lmfao), bc you can pair any two destiny women and ill be like yeah for sure! and i have curated my online space well enough that i rarely see any other kind of ship, and when i do its gay men (o14, uldren/jolyon, someone i follow is cooking something with saladin/drifter which is inspired. i love whatever is happening there) which is like cheering absently for a sports team idc about but support on principle.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

mara. its always fucking mara. literally spent an hour and a half last night rehashing d1 mara-course in a server with someone who has not read any lore. which is fine! thats a fine way to engage with the game! its a valuable perspective! but use i-statements and accept that you are coming to the table with 10% of the facts about the character.

honorable mention goes to anything about redemption arcs (and savathun specifically)- most recently that fuuucking saint killing sav repeatedly lore tab. and if you (general) cant be assed to care about evil women (skill issue, but whatever), thats also backsliding YEARS on saints characterization and i dont even care about saint!!!

so really the answer is misogyny lmfao.

[daffi-990]

Weekend WIP Game

tagged by the kind and talented @jesuisici33 @wikiangela and @lover-of-mine

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

1. WIP List:

come close, let me be home (slow dance fic)

Fantasy AU

Rival Firefighters 🚒

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Fantasy AU.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Definitely Fantasy AU

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Hmmm I’ve enjoyed aspects from all of them tbh. Fantasy au is so self indulgent cos it’s my favourite genre so writing it is something special. Rival Firefighters is flirty and fun and coming up with banter between Buck and Eddie is always a good time. And the slow dance fic is sweet and soft and I enjoy writing these boys already all gooey in love so yeah ☺️

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

The fantasy au for sure! It’s my favourite genre and I really want to be able to bring what’s in my head into actual written words.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Fantasy au haha for the same reasons as above

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Fantasy au and probably rival firefighters

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer’s block?

Yes unfortunately 🤪

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

Fantasy AU has one OC so far and he is not a nice character so definitely not a favourite 😅

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Rival Firefighters … even though there most likely won’t be any actual smut until much later in the fic, there will be a lot of sexual tension .. I hope 🤞🏻

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Probably fantasy au?

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I have no idea tbh 😅

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Gonna have to go with fantasy au cos it’s in a completely made up realm. I’m very nervous about writing all that cos it’s not my strong suit.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Oh geez … umm fantasy au maybe? Like the notes for that … there’s a lot haha

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Fantasy au and rival firefighters

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

yes. The fantasy au fic actually started as a dream

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

Yes, the fantasy au has magic and stuff

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I think rival firefighters

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

No

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs

I’ve actually had the idea for the fantasy au for a few years but the main pairing was going to be Dean & Cas from Supernatural. I kind of fell out of that fandom but the idea stuck with me and the main characters just became two faceless people until Buck and Eddie came along and slotted into place like it had always been meant for them.

No pressure tagging: @thewolvesof1998 @exhuastedpigeon @callmenewbie @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @loserdiaz @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks

[penncilkid]

Hello hello! My name is PK and I'm a fervent enjoyer of non-canon ships. I'm not a fic writer exactly but I've been told "Where's the fic OP" twice now by my friends. So I thought I'd format one of my fic-adjacent ramble sessions for Tumblr!

Pairing: Milo/David [No Sweetheart or Angel, wanted to go easy on myself] [MDNI*] [Let's call this "canon reminiscent /lh]

Word Count: 3.2 K

*(I wouldn't consider this smut by any means but there's a few lines that make me want to add this as a tag)

[As a reminder, I diverge from canon quite a bit with this. This is just one route I could see leading to Milo and David getting together]

My vision for this pair is that they start getting closer in a more than just friends way a little bit after Gabe dies. Not immediately because have some decorum, but it would start during that transition period for David as Alpha. Asher is trying his best to help but is also grappling with the whole Beta thing, so he feels like he's in a complex position. But him and Milo can see that David's not doing great so Milo's like "Fine, I'll bite the bullet" and tries to confront David about it.

At first it's subtle, asking David if he needs help with something, if he wants anyone from the pack to stay after for meetings, if he wants them to pick up a shift so he can have the day off, etc. But David is too stubborn to accept any of it so he keeps brushing them off. This ends up culminating in a "fight" one day where Milo again tries to make an offer that David shoots down. Milo sort of snaps and is like "Alright, what the fuck gives? Why are you acting like you're too good to get help anymore, David?" David says he doesn't know what he's talking about, Milo calls bullshit. It doesn't turn into a screaming match but it's enough of a heated argument that Milo storms out of the den.

In the days following, Milo either calls out sick, switches shifts with people, anything to avoid seeing David. David brushes it off, thinking he's got more important things to worry about if Milo's going to throw a fit. But of course, Ash being Ash means this stuff can't fly for long, so he tells both David and Milo that he needs help with something at an odd time of day and then "coincidentally" doesn't show up. When Milo gets to the den, he's real tempted to get back in his car and leave. It's a mix of still being a little frustrated with David and being embarrassed that this "fight" has gone on for as long as it has. He walks up to David (who was waiting outside for Asher) and is like "Lemme guess, you're waiting for Ash?" "How did you...?" "Fucker told me the same thing."

They do some lighthearted bitching about their friend, which eases the tension. There's a bit of silence and right as Milo gets ready to apologize for speaking out of turn, David apologizes first. He acknowledges that Milo was right in what he said and that he's been struggling with everything changing, but he hasn't wanted it to show on the outside. Milo makes a light jab at David, "Alright well did you really expect that to go over my head? C'mon, David, we've known each other since we were kids. Gimme some credit" To make up for it, the two of them go out to eat, all that's chill. Cut to when Milo gets home, maybe has a drink or two as he's winding down. David sends him a message, confirming he made it home alright (because I've always latched onto the idea that he's super attentive to that given what happened with Gabe). Milo sends David a quick reply and wonders why seeing that message made him feel some type of way (romantic? Who knows, not Milo that's for sure /lh)

Now if I remember correctly, the audio where Angel learns about Gabe, it's been around 3 years since his passing. Keeping this in mind and in the spirit of being canon reminiscent, I think around/after this point is when Milo's feelings for David start to really bubble up. They've been building for awhile, much to his dismay. He's trying to play it cool, but his heart's in his damn throat any time David touches him casually or whenever the two of them are assigned to a job together. And he knows it's getting bad enough where he might lose focus, so he swallows his pride and does what he's been avoiding for months, if not years: asking Asher for advice.

"Alright, look: You and me both know that you had a lil crush on David when we were in high school. How the fuck did you get over it? I'm drowning, Ash." If this conversation is happening on the phone or at Asher's place, cue him yelling to Babe that they owe him 20 bucks (because it's funny to me <3). Asher asks Milo why he wants to get over the feelings so bad and Milo's like "'Cause this is David we're talking about." "So what?" "We've got... history. That complicates shit all on its own." "And?" "....Alright fine, and I'm also terrified he's not gonna feel the same. Happy?" Asher is being the little shit that he is, putting his arm around Milo's shoulder. "Listen. If I know David— And believe me, I do— What ya gotta do is be direct. If he doesn't feel the same, that's one thing. But if you even want a chance, you gotta be straight up with him. If you tried to ask him out casually, he'll just assume you're being friendly because that's what you are right now. Friends." Milo takes all this in and is like, "Nope, just gonna shove these feelings down for eternity." "I'll tell Marie—" "I will beat your ass." He knows Asher has a point though. Any idea Milo might've had could be easily construed as them just chilling as friends. But he doesn't really act on anything for awhile.

Now, before we get into the next phase of this, some added backstory: David had a crush on Milo growing up. I'm thinking a little after high school (won't say college necessarily since I don't picture them in college but like, young adulthood phase). He'd always found Milo incredibly attractive and found his boldness admirable in general. David was constantly thinking about what he had to do for others and how to make the pack look good (since he was the Alpha's kid then the pack Beta). Milo always felt incredibly refreshing to be around. But he figured Milo would never be interested in because David's just himself so he eventually got over it. Cut to that argument him and Milo had a few years back. He remembers that night when they made up because dinner had been fine but all he could do was focus on Milo. It felt nice to just hang out with him without the pressures of being Alpha. And he enjoyed listening to him talk about anything because he always had a strong opinion. I think around then is when his past feelings awoke again but there was a new obstacle: He was the Alpha of the pack. It wasn't like before, things were different. He'd never have a chance to pursue Milo without feeling like he had pushed Milo into a corner somehow. So again, he tried his best to push his feelings down, appreciate and value the friendship he had with Milo and leave it at that. It was enough to just have Milo in his life, even if it wasn't going to go any further.

Back to how these two end up together: the Moonbound Solstice. They're all at David's place, everyone's having a good time together. Milo's chilling, talking to someone from the pack when Asher cuts in and is like "Sorry, just gonna steal him for a minute" "Ash, you can't just— AY okay okay I'm coming" They walk off, somewhere far from the kitchen to minimize the risk of David overhearing. In hushed voices: "Alright, so what's the plan?" "Ash, what the fuck are you talking about?" "Milo, it's the Solstice. This is the perfect time to make a move." "Are you out of your damn mind? This is the last place I should be hitting on— On you know who." "What are you talking about it, it's perfect! The whole pack's here, no one would even notice." "Look, he's already got his hands full hosting the Solstice at his own place for a change. I'm just gonna chill and enjoy the night for what it is." Asher is pouting as Milo walks off, immediately thinking of what he can do to help nudge David Milo's way. (Unhinged alt route: Ash giving Milo a flat so he has to stay the night)

Cut to the end of the night, people are heading out and whatnot. David is subtly trying to get people out because he loves his pack but his senses need a break. Asher (+ Babe, package deal) and Milo offer to stay and help clean, and David lets them since it's only a handful of people. Milo's keeping his cool, vibing to the much lower playing music when: "Babe, what do you mean you have a work call you need to take tonight? Can't it wait?" "Sorry, Ash, I need to be home in the next twenty minutes" "Alright. Guess we're heading early." Milo thinks nothing of it until he makes eye contact with Babe. They smile with a sickeningly sweet wave. Those bastards. Before Milo can try to rope Ash into staying somehow, the two of them are gone.

When Milo and David are alone, Milo tries his best to focus on the task at hand because feelings or not, he's not gonna do a shit job at cleaning so David has to clean up after him. Once the bulk of it is done, David mentions that he needs to grab something from upstairs or maybe says he's going to go change out of his clothes (I imagine he put on something better looking but not as comfortable for the solstice). Milo's chill with that, getting his keys, phone, other personal belongings together. He happens to slip into the kitchen though, stealing a bit more of the food David had made for the solstice. While he's stealing (said with love), he hears very close to his ear: "You can take some home if you want." He nearly punches David, gripping his arm as he tries to slow his heart rate. "You tryin' give a guy a heart attack, Shaw (/lh)" because he legit didn't hear David come back downstairs. "Maybe if you weren't busy trying to steal some food, you would've heard me— Greer (/lh)." Milo rolls his eyes with a grin and there's a moment of quiet when he realizes his hand is still on David's arm.

He lets go, clearing his throat, confirming that it's actually cool if he wants to take some of the food home with him. David says sure, giving him a container to fill (or Milo takes whatever the food came in, not sure what I'm picturing David's cooking set-up to be). David walks Milo to the door (as a good host does) and the two of them talk in the doorway for a few minutes about upcoming jobs, responsibilities, all that formal shit. There's another quiet moment as the two of them watch each other. Inside, Milo's like "Alright, no one else is here. This is as good a chance as any." The second he gets ready to ask David out on a more proper date, David instead says "Good night, Milo" and essentially closes the door in his face. Milo stares for a moment before cursing himself in Spanish (my HC), walking to his car and muttering about how "Of course he was just being polite, what the fuck were you thinking?" On the other side of the door, David is groaning into his hands, face warm as he tries to calm down because he came way too close to making a move on Milo.

Intermission (Wow, you're still reading? Damn /pos): I wanted to think of how to push them closer to a confession before they actually get together and eventually settled on "sickfic shenanigans". Insert deliriously sick Milo whose phone died and he can't find a charger for the life of him so David goes over to his place to check on him. Initially, he's trying to get David to leave because "I can handle myself fine". But that doesn't last long because admittedly, he feels like shit and has been for the past 12 hours. The dynamic quickly turns into Milo convincing David to stay then being so sick his filter is hanging on by a thread (/lh). "Why do you have to go rush off so fast?" "Milo, I have a pack to take care of—" "First off, I'm part of the pack— (cue Milo coughing) And second, they'll be fine without their Alpha for a few hours." Milo's playing it off as lighthearted but David can tell he doesn't want to be cooped up inside alone on top of feeling like shit physically. A little later, when Milo's on the verge of falling asleep (as many do while sick), he's like "Y'know, it's fucking wild you don't got a mate, David. Like look at you. Doesn't make sense" David laughs at first, thinking Milo's sick delirious (which he is, but that's affecting his filter, not the validity of his words). He's like "ay, why are you laughing, I'm serious. Look— if I were ya mate, I'd treat ya right. I'd cook, I'd work extra hours so I could see ya, I'd make sure we're the best dressed wherever we go— not to mention, I got a great dick." David writes this off as Milo being sick and spewing nonsense but never forgets the words. Meanwhile, Milo (after getting over the sickness) is convinced he dreamt saying any of that to David.

Back to the present, David's been a bit stressed with work as of late so Asher suggests the pack take a trip/weekend vacation. He says he'll handle figuring everything out, letting David take a backseat this time. They go somewhere, a resort, a hotel, something that involves people having rooms they're staying in. Everyone's having a good time, chilling all day, night rolls around. David's in his room when he realizes he forgot to pack something— can be anything. Toothpaste, a charger, something for his hair, the specifics aren't important. He texts Asher, asking if he has the thing he forgot and Ash is like yeah. David asks Ash which room he's staying in, Ash texts him the room number. David leaves his room, goes there, knocks and waits patiently. Door opens, and who's standing there? Milo, shirtless and in the middle of brushing his teeth or some shit.

David's checking his phone to see if he went to the wrong room but nope, numbers match. "Asher must've made a typo. I just needed to borrow something from him." "Well, what did you need? Maybe I have it." Before David can leave, Milo's busy ushering him in, closing the door so he can finish brushing his teeth before finding what David needs. They're making idle conversation, talking about what they spent their respective days doing. While Milo's talking, David's kind of staring at his back, not processing a word he's saying. Milo turns around and notices and is like "What? Don't tell me there's a bug on me and you didn't say shit? (/lh)" and David is trying to think of a good cover up. Milo tries to lighten the mood, says he's just messing with David before going to find whatever David's looking to borrow. He finds it, hands it over when for a split second, his eyes land on David's crotch. David leaves shortly there after but all night, Milo's like "...That was a boner... why the fuck did he have a boner?" But again, Milo's mind is like "Nah, I'm reading this wrong somehow."

Now, I'm painting a picture: it's the next day, Ash, Milo, David, few others from the pack plan on doing something together while on the trip. Asher gets there a bit late but is somehow on time compared to David, who shows up minutes after (that man was up all night pining). Ash notices Milo's not here yet and has a devious idea (as always). He asks David to go check on Milo so they can go. "Why me?" "You were the last one here, it's only fair. Now shoo." David rolls his eyes but goes, getting to Milo's room, knocking. He can hear Milo's definitely inside because he's cursing and complaining. He knocks again before the door swings open to reveal a mildly disgruntled Milo Greer (my vision is he's in pants and a white tank with his name chain. The in between outfits outfit).

He asks what David is doing there, David explains that Asher sent him to pick up Milo, Milo's like "What time is it— Jesus fucking Christ." The issue at hand is Milo can't find an article of clothing that he swears he put in his bag. He's been trying to get by with alternative options but none of them look the way he wants them to, which is making him quietly lose his shit. David stifles a laugh, to which Milo lasers in on. "And what do you think you're laughing at?" "You haven't changed since we were kids, that's all." Milo scoffs but admittedly, the sentiment puts a smile on his face. Almost immediately after that moment, he finally finds what he was looking for (tucked under something, irrelevant right now). He starts to get ready, pulling his shirt on, buttoning it up but let's say a button or two is fighting him for whatever reason. Without a second thought, David walks up, buttoning it for Milo. Milo's having an internal moment as a result, staring at David's hands then his face. David finishes and looks up to catch Milo staring. He clears his throat, saying something about waiting in the hall when Milo catches his wrist.

"Can I take you out on a date?" "What?" "I don't know what or where yet, but I just— I know this is probably stupid and I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but Asher's gonna kick my ass if I don't do something so— Can I take you out on a date, David?" David's taken aback. "Wait... so you were serious. That time you were sick. All that stuff you said about being a good mate for me." "THAT WASN'T A DREAM?" Cue Milo letting go of David's hand and nearly cursing himself out, running a hand through his hair because now he's mortified. "I can't believe I actually said all that shit to you—" "Did you mean it?" "Huh?" For the first time, David's not looking at Milo like a friend or pack Alpha. The look in his eyes screams pure, unfiltered attraction. "Yes or no, Milo." Milo's face is hot, "Course I meant it. I'd treat you great if you gave me the chance to show you." David steps closer, gripping Milo's face gently and tilting it up towards his. "Show me." Milo grins before pulling David down to him, the kiss they shared far better than the ones he remembered from spin the bottle games they'd played as teens. This kiss felt deeper and closer than that could ever compare. The moment they break away, gasping for air, Milo's busy unbuttoning his shirt. David asks what he's doing, to which Milo replies "I'm about to savor as much time with you as I can before I have to see Asher's smug face. Unless you'd like to explain how your hair became a mess between the time you left to find me and when you get back?" David laughs before pulling Milo to him again.

So yeah, that concludes this fic adjacent ramble (/lh)! I love rarepairs and rambling, so if people enjoy this, I may format some other rambles as they arise. I think I've got some Sam/David tucked away somewhere, so let me know. If you actually read all of this, wow, okay, thank you (/lh /pos)

[rhondafromhr]

Ships for the ask game!!

I probably should have just done one but oh well

Barnroe (Becky x Linda)

Holloweane (Mrs. Holloway x Duke) (I think that’s how you spell the ship name lol I could be wrong)

Holy Bastard (Ted x Mark Chasity)

Nerd Polycule (Ruth x Pete x Richie, Steph and grace can be included or not you can pick :P)

Oh dang that’s a lot :D/lh, thanks for the ask! Putting my answer below the cut because I ended up rambling a little bit lol

Barnroe - don’t ship it (but I still think it’s neat!)

1. Honestly nothing about them, I just never got as invested in BF as I did in the other musicals (still love it so much though!! And the soundtrack is easily my favorite of the 3) and didn’t feel as compelled to make or seek out fan content so Barnroe just wasn’t on my radar I guess.

2. Idk honestly, I feel pretty neutral leaning towards positive on this ship so I’m not sure what would get me invested?? Maybe if I read a really good fic of them that would get me into it (there’s a good chance that’ll happen honestly, catch me becoming obsessed with them like next month probably)

3. I have stumbled across some really cool fanart of them and I can definitely see the potential for a really interesting dynamic

Holloweane - ship it

1. Everything about killer track and their dynamic there.

2. I just love how much they seem to care about each other and the way the narrative keeps them apart and the whole thing where she’s told Duke her life story multiple times even though she knows he’s inevitably going to forget…it hurts so bad I love it

3. I don’t think I have any unpopular opinions on this one

Holy Bastard - don’t ship it (but again I think it’s neat!!)

1. Mainly because I’m not that invested in Ted as a character. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s complex and interesting and I do find him entertaining, but I’m not invested enough to seek out fan content where he’s the focus, shipping or otherwise.

2. Maybe if they have more interactions in NMT3 and I can get a clearer picture in my head of what their dynamic might be like it would get me more interested in them

3. I do love the potential family dynamic it could create. I feel like once Grace found out the interactions between her and Ted would be especially hilarious. And could honestly be kind of cute and wholesome too if Grace slowly comes around to him and they bond. I think they have more in common than they realize (“I can’t believe Ruth’s in a show about hookers!” vs “this show’s about hookers!”) Plus Pete and Grace being stepfamily would be fun!

Nerds polycule (I’m going to go with Ruth/Pete/Richie) - don’t ship it, but again still think it’s neat!!

1. As much as I love reading and writing fic where they’re all really good friends and care about each other, solely based on their interactions in NPMD I get the impression that Pete doesn’t like them all that much and he’s really only sticking with them as a safety in numbers thing, so I have trouble picturing that kind of relationship with them. Then again I can’t really talk, I’m a crack ship enjoyer that regularly ships characters who have literally never interacted lol

2. Maybe if we get to see more interactions between them in NMT3

3. I do think they have the potential to be a really fun, chaotic trio so I totally see the appeal! Also Ruth having 2 boyfriends and bragging to anyone who will listen about the fact that she pulled not one but two bad bitches, I do really love that for her and I think she deserves it <3

[cricketnationrise]

Weekend WIP Around

so. i'm bad at responding to tag games at the best of times. and then i worked 11 days straight and lost all sense of time and space. but! ive had several days off now, my head is screwed on relatively straight again, so here we go. thanks to: @cha-melodius @three-drink-amy @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @dumbpeachjuice @welcometololaland @celaestis1 @indomitable-love @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @doggernaut @sherryvalli @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin and @read-and-write- for the MANY tags over the last two weeks! have some words! 💜🦗

I'm using @welcometololaland's 20 question game for writers and artists (thanks Lola, this is so fun!)

1. WIP List: (from my "Active WIPs" folder otherwise we'd be here 5eva) Game Changer (Noise Boys) Tortall AU [FTH] rwrb assassination attempt AU [FTH] jon/alanna Tortall canon-divergence [FTH] an incomplete list series going platinum sequel jack's off-season wishlist series rwrb kiss-cam omgcp say yes to the dress au

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest? Game Changer AU ~2.4k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest? eventually an incomplete list series since it has the most parts planned, but the going platinum sequel has more than a little potential to explode on me

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why? I am SUPER enjoying writing the Game Changer AU right now, it's really fun coming up with all the prompts!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why? jon/alanna canon-divergence. hands down. it's not a pairing i usually seek out, and i want to write them believably, especially since it's for charity

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why? see above.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why? probably everything on this list will get a beta pass, actually. kiss cam will depend on how long i end up making it/if it actually gets a whole plot XD

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block? jon/alanna has less of a writer's block and more of a starting block, but i'm hopeful that once i figure out the plot the writing will come fairly easily. kiss-cam au I paused on purpose because i was writing The Mummy AU and Going Platinum at the same time and a third wip was driving me crazy.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them? none of them have OC's at this time

10. Which WIP is the sexiest? Going Platinum sequel 🤝 Jack's Off-Season Wishlist

11. Which WIP is the angstiest? rwrb assassination attempt AU, for obvious reasons

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)? well, i hope all of them!

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)? ditto from above

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on? as of today, Game Changer Tortall AU

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why? Going Platinum sequel. I cut a lot of ideas from the original fic because they didn't make sense with the hiding identities I had going on, so now that they're together, I'm really excited to figure out how alex's job (and henry's support of it) lets their relationship evolve and grow

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs? not about any of these, but while I was writing the Mummy AU I watched the movie so frequently that I would regularly dream about that one.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't? Going Platinum sequel - choreography complications since they still aren't showing their faces on the streams Game Changer Tortall AU - working within the framework of the show itself, possibly coding the whole thing to look like a script

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour? Game Changer AU for sure.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process? not right now!

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs. say yes to the dress au - Bitty as Randy, but it's a Nurseydex endgame fic AND a bonus snippet from the Game Changer Tortall fic to make up for all the 6/7 sentences/wip weds i've missed :D

“Tonight’s guests: coming in fresh from a shower: it’s Merric Hollyrose! Looking around for somewhere to tie his horse: Owen Jesslaw! Tallest, oldest, last – and certainly not happy about it – it’s Neal Queenscove! And your host, me! I’ve been here the whole time.” “Welcome to Gamechanger, the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Kel Mindelan, and I’m joined today by these three lovely contestants. Now, you all understand how the game works?” Merric shakes his head. “Nope.”  “Haven’t the foggiest,” says Owen cheerful as always in the face of the unknown. “You haven’t explained a dratted thing.” Neal pouts and Kel feels the last wisps of nerves melt away in response. Kel knows how to do this – getting Neal to hit peak dramatically grumpy levels is as natural as breathing. She throws Neal a cheeky grin before turning back to the camera. “That’s right! Our players have no idea what game it is that they’re about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning, so without further ado – let’s begin.”

Consider this an open tag to play along!

[smallumbrella369]

weekend wip game

Thanks for the tag @ramonaflow 💙

1. WIP List:

Joshua Tree

Fake Boyfriend

Style Consultant

Fic/Fic

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Joshua Tree

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Definitely Joshua Tree

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I’ve not gotten too far on it yet, but Fake Boyfriend. It just has a light and easy vibe. 

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Joshua Tree. Trying to put the epic movie in my head on the page is hard.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Joshua Tree. (You will get sick of this answer) It’s just a lot. A lot of time spent on it, a lot of changes made, a LOT of words

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

Oh, all of them! I always like to have a second pair of eyes on my words.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

Oh my god, every single one of them, at the moment! 

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

There’s a rock climber in Joshua Tree named Wolfgang and he’s odd and helpful and kind. 

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Joshua Tree, I think. 

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Probably Joshua Tree. I kind put David and Patrick through it. 

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I think Style Consultant would be the best for that. 

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Joshua Tree is a dream location, both in reality and the area I invented for the story. 

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Probably Joshua Tree. It’s been in my head and in my docs for a very long time. 

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

I try not to have high expectations around how a fic is received. Of course, I want them to be loved, and kudo-ed, that validation is nourishing. But the bottom line is I just want to be proud of what I’ve created. I want to be happy with it, have it be a story I want to read. 

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

No, but that would be cool!

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

It’s possible that one of the things that has me stuck in Joshua Tree is it feels like a lot of moving parts. 

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

I think there’s funny moments and banter in all of my wips. But if I had name one, it’d be Style consultant

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

No

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

I’ve considered the possibility that Joshua Tree has been hard to complete because it’s not supposed to be fanfiction

Tagging @missgeevious @mostlyinthemorning @blackandwhiteandrose @delilah-mcmuffin @distractivate @flowerfan2 @this-is-not-nothing and anyone else that wants to play.

[giggly-squiggily]

Hi Hello it's midnight for me and I just finished watching Steven Universe and the movie (I haven't watched Future yet- gonna do that this weekend) so now I have thoughts

Spoilers for Steven Universe below the cut!

First of all: I'm kicking myself repeatedly for waiting so long to watch it cause HOLY- 😭🥰 IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I wasn't sure I was gonna be into shows like this (Wasn't massively into Adventure Time- don't get me wrong, it was cute as hell and funny but just kinda..eh?) But I finally gave it a shot and WOW!

My favorite gem is still Garnet; I just- I adore her. She's wise, funny, the whole Sapphire and Ruby ship is so cute ("They were my favorite couple!"- Bismuth my blacksmith queen) and just-GAH! I love how excited she got over fusions and just how lovely she is all around!

My second favorite is Peridot. I loved her- she is the cutest little green dorito EVA! The way she speaks, her mannerisms, her dynamic with Lapis (Who admittedly I still have mixed feelings on but generally I enjoy her alot)- it was all so freaking kfakjerakjkjrakjerkjekjr I can't get over how cute she is HELP!

Really- I found myself loving all the characters! Pearl is cute as heck, Amethyst is an icon (I loved that scene where she refused to put all her problems onto Steven and recognized he had so much on his plate already- it was truly such a growth moment and I'm beyond proud of her. Plus- Smokey Quartz is an icon), and STEVEN! He's a doll! I adore him so much!

As for Beach City- I don't think I have a non-favorite. Everyone is so charming and silly; and even when they were at their worst they managed to bring it back around. Lars becoming a space pirate and Sadie becoming a rockstar- the grandmother becoming mayor and Ronaldo being..well, Ronaldo; it was all so good! I really do love Greg aswell; that Comet song will be forever stuck in my head. Oh! And Connie! I adore Connie!

As for the movie....eh? Don't get me wrong, it was great- and I really like Spinel; but all the endless songs started to get a little much after a while 😅 There was some great ones like Garnet's return song True Love and Steven's Change song- and of course Other Friends and Drift Away are absolutely incredible. It was a good mix of great songs and....kinda meh songs but still incredibly pleasant to listen to. I had a great time. (I also really liked Happily Ever After but I think I prefer Natewantstobattle's version; the rock cover really gives it that extra oomph!)

The DIAMONDS! I kinda don't know how to feel about Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond. I get why she did what she did; it was clear as glass the home life she was living wasn't good to her- but the way she did it certainly wasn't the cleanest. I like how complex her situation is and how Steven navigated it. I also like how the diamonds were presented- not good gems but complex enough that they're enjoyable. (Not to be bisexual on tumblr but Yellow Diamond....👀)

Overall this was a great time all around! I don't know what I'm gonna watch next (post future), my sister and I are thinking either Owl House or Amphibia, but y'all are welcome to leave suggestions! This was a much needed comfort experience during an admittedly crappy time.

(Also I'm almost done with Season 2 of Vinland Saga and y'all it's absolutely incredible but so freaking SAD- ooooo, I got feelings but I'll share them all when I finish the last four episodes)

This is your gentle reminder to sit down and indulge yourself in something comforting! Especially if things are being tough right now- you deserve to treat yourself :)

[starrbar]

Ships and kinks don't actually reveal how deeply one can enjoy or appreciate a story

I noticed that lately I have this small paranoia in my head that goes kind of like this: "I just experienced an amazing, deep, or wholesome thing. If I start shipping or sexualizing the characters this soon, that will make it look like I never cared about the story or characters or nuances or lessons etc. It'll be like I was only looking for wank material and never appreciated the truly great stuff about it."

And that's not true. It's never true in my case. And though I don't condemn people who may genuinely only care about the ships of a particular media they like, I personally DO care about the whole packages and I analyze media extensively, so I really don't want people to think that of me.

I haven't seen a lot of claims of specifically this, but I have seen sort of adjacent claims about proshippers. Usually goes something like, "It's really Concerning™ that proshippers can't recognize red flags of a predator / don't understand sibling love", as if their ships indicate the ultimate limit of their capacity to comprehend anything. And that's just ungodly wrong. It's almost awkward to see comments like that because it's so bizarrely illogical.

I remember one time, I had expressed the opinion that one of my favorite stories, while it did not contain any plots about incest or pedophilia, was so well-written that it would have handled those topics with grace and care if it had decided to include them. And someone accused me of "PURELY seeing it as sexual and getting off to it" as if I hadn't literally centered my comment on the capabilities of the writers, and had even said that I preferred the relationship as it is in canon. Nowhere in my comment had I even mentioned finding the ship hot or wanting it to be canon. I demonstrated that I was able to appreciate the canon material while shipping a problematic non-canon ship on the side, and people still chose not to see that.

And it's actually one of the most frustrating experiences I've ever had with antis. If someone makes a shit claim to start the conversation, it's annoying, sure. But if someone purposely ignores or rewrites what I JUST SAID in order to make a shit claim, that makes my blood boil tenfold.

Couple example stories for me are Omori and Arcane, two very deep, meaningful stories with some very wholesome scenes too... which also happen to have problematic fanon ships that I enjoy exploring both for analysis reasons AND for horny reasons.

And I've seen people get genuine backlash for enjoying the wholesome side of a story purely for sfw E-rated reasons while also enjoying a creepy ship in a completely different space, in a completely different context. Or even just not caring if other people enjoy those things. "How dare you draw a child while being a proshipper!? You must be a creep!" a la this incident.

And now that I think about it, one reason someone may only see me horny-posting about something is because frankly those types of posts are easier to finish writing than a full essay about my intricate feelings about a plot. But then I find it embarrassing that I frequently fail to publish those essays because they would at least serve as proof that there's more to my enjoyment than just "sibling ship hawt".

Another reason is that I do manage to get those essay thoughts out, but unfiltered and ungrammar'd, to my friends. In servers or in DMs. Where I can express myself frantically and unpolished and still be fully understood. And if I say something that could be taken badly, I can just explain myself further instead of risking a sea of harassment BEFORE I have the chance to clarify something weird I said while jittering in my seat and flailing in excitement. With published essays about complex topics, I have to be VERY CAREFUL with my wording and quadruple-billion-check my posts, because I am aware that the internet gets enraged if you mention a thing and then don't give 20 disclaimers about every other possible interpretation of that thing.

Anyways.

Regardless of my probably unnecessary paranoia, I still recognize that everyone has a different reason for enjoying something. Everyone gets something different out of a positive experience. And it's not my job to judge and dictate which reasons are good and allowed and respectable. If something brings you joy, who am I to take that away from you?

Regardless if you enjoyed a show because of its plot or because of its "plot", there's nothing wrong about it. There's nothing gross or insulting about the way you enjoy things.

Keep being you and doing things you love!

[candied-cae]

"Izzy's appearances in 2x03 with Stede were some of the only times I could stand him." - Allow me to further explain

I want to preface this with "I know." I know I was not an Izzy Enjoyer during Season 1 and I know I wasn't really looking forward to a redemption arc for his character because I was worried it wouldn't be taken seriously enough, since this show is a comedy. And, so far, I feel like I was right. His forgiveness feels rushed to me, and Stede's adverse reactions to him are the only times where it felt like this was in fact Izzy Hands from season 1 and not a guy with the same name and face but with a clean record and softer disposition.

The instances where Stede is put in Izzy's proximity are the only ones that really make sense coming out of Season 1. As far as we see, a few months has passed and pretty much everyone on The Revenge has forgiven Izzy for the simple reason that they can tell Ed is taking a little extra of his anger out on him. We see no apologies made, we see no kind gestures, we see no really complex stuff about him realizing he fucked up.

They skip right to his breaking down and the rest of the crew picking up the pieces behind Ed's back, even though for most of them Izzy was their torturer at least twice before all on his own.

So it felt weird and jarring that he seemed completely washed free of his "sins" of the last season, especially since it happened right there in the first episode. I wish the production team put more time in making Izzy "earn" the kindness the crew affords him, but I digress. The interactions Stede has with Izzy feel the most right (to me) and I adore how much character work we can pull from them.

(In agonizing detail by going over every word of dialogue and expression exchanged between them, you've been warned.)

The first time they address each other, goes as follows:

"Bonnet. Good to see you." "Piss off, Izzy. I don't wanna hear from you."

With Izzy approaching Stede without reason and speaking first. He limps on over and opens up with something polite almost. But when it comes from Izzy Hands - the man who personally insulted Stede, insulted all his favorite activities, insulted his crew, challenge him to duel and skewered him through the side, went on to call on Calico Jack and the Royal English Navy to take down The Revenge, who stole his crew and ship after he'd been arrested, and Stede's clearly got suspicions that Ed's behavior was influenced by him - that greeting is a slap in the face.

It's that kind of fake sweet pretend-we're-friends-for-the-sake-of-social-graces thing that Stede left behind on the mainland.

So he just tells him to leave. That he doesn't care what he has to say if it isn't information, and even if it was, Stede doesn't trust what Izzy shares.

And Izzy's a little caught off guard by that reaction. We see him sort of sway and look to the side. He looks rejected, which he is. And it's the first time all season that someone hasn't really let him have a fresh start (except for Ed). It's the first time anyone's tried to hold him accountable for the litany of things he'd done to the crew in the last season. Events that seem to have taken place only weeks/months before.

The second time Izzy speaks up, he does so to tease:

"What about my painting? Why was it all stabbed up?" "That was me." *sighs*

Izzy puts on a smile and leans his head back a bit. He's try to act proud and sort of snarky, since Stede isn't playing with him like they did previously. So, he tried to goad him into saying something. Into getting snippy or bitchy in return. He's trying to push Stede into giving him something to work with.

Because if people talk to him, and they play his games, and they soften up, that's how (it seems) he's been able to win them over and get into folk's good graces.

But Stede doesn't give. He doesn't want to play Izzy's mind games. He doesn't want to volley a few insults back in forth until it's fun. He doesn't want to give Izzy any of his time or attention or energy, because Izzy doesn't deserve any of it to him.

Stede walks away, and we see Izzy's expression freeze and fall. He's stuck and confused, because he thought that was a good move. He thought that one was going to get a reaction. And maybe that's how he's always gotten people to talk to him, by pushing them into a retaliation, but it doesn't work.

What's the quote? About how hate isn't the opposite of love, indifference is? Stede is being indifferent to Izzy's presence, and that's doing more to Izzy's feelings than if he outright hated him.

The third time they interact, Izzy's followed Stede into the captain's quarters and jokes:

"Don't cry, Bonnet. We just redecorated." "I don't mind, actually. I think the knives really help bring the place together."

Again, he's tried to push Stede's buttons. Playing on already used jokes that Stede's too posh and soft to, say, appreciate something like a dozen knives thrown/stabbed into the walls and ceiling of his cabin.

He's teasing, on the edge of calling Stede a cry baby, either just to see if it'll work him up, or if that's the only way he knew how to start their discussion. But again, Stede isn't playing with him. He brushes past the implied insult and moves to something more like "I don't care" in response.

Instead, turning his attention back to the subject of Edward Teach. Because he knows the crew were all dodging the question and he knows Izzy would have to know what happened to Ed.

During that same conversation they pivot to more serious matters:

"What'd you do with him? I know he wouldn't have left by choice." "I know you think you understand him-" "He was either going to watch the world burn or die trying. So which was it?" "Alright, Bonnet. Have it your own way. He went mad. He tortured the crew. He took my fuckin' leg 'cause I dared to mention your fuckin' name. He was a wild dog, and we dealt with him like one." "You sent him to doggy heaven." "No, I could never do that. We deserted him on a beach. Left nature to do the rest. More than he would've done for us. You and me did this to him. And we cannot let this crew suffer any more for our mistakes." "Why would they suffer?" "If your captain senses mutiny, she'll kill us all. That's pirate code."

The most notable expressions during this conversation are Stede's who almost seems to wince when Izzy says Ed retaliated against him over mentioning Stede's name, his defeat when he believes Ed was killed in mutiny, and his concern about making sure his crew will be spared.

These are feelings that are barely about Izzy, and mostly about the fact that Stede is taking on a lot more blame than he's saying. He feels a lot of the responsibility for what's happened (further exemplified by him cracking to tell Zheng Yi Sao that he should've told Ed how he felt and avoided all of it). And this is the first time Izzy really gets anything out of him from all his poking and prodding he does in the episode.

And though Stede is convinced that Ed was simply marooned and it's its own kind of tragedy and means there was somewhere to go to try and get him back, Stede worries about saving his crew first. He pleads with Zheng Yi Sao and even wins her over until Auntie finds Ed's "body."

After that revelation, Izzy's in The Red Flag's brig and only says:

"Go on, Bonnet. Give me your worst."

And Stede says nothing. He looks at him. He hears what he has to say. But he doesn't do anything. Nothing except having to physically push himself off the bars to walk away.

And again, we can tell there's blame he's assigned to himself for it.

It's a little bit his fault that Ed's "dead." It's a little bit his fault the rest of his crew is going to be executed. It's a little bit his fault, and it's a little bit Izzy's. He knows so, because Izzy said it to him himself. "You and Me did this to him." And Izzy huffs, gives him permission to fly off the handle. To pour his rage and grief all over Izzy, to retaliate with words or with blades.

Izzy would take it. Whatever Stede was going to give him, he was going to take it. Just like he was trying to make him mad earlier, Izzy was still grappling for something. For acknowledgment. For something in his last moments before an entire career of piracy ended at The Pirate Queen's behest.

But Stede gives him nothing.

And that hurts worse. That brings tears to his eyes. That settles in the quiet idea of "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" that cuts so much deeper.

And the last time Izzy tries for anything, he tries being grateful:

"I just wanted to thank you for-"

But Stede still doesn't listen. Doesn't even let him finish thanking him.

Even though he went as far as to save Izzy's life along with the rest of the crew (he could've struck him down or declared he was unwelcome to join them back on The Revenge if he really wanted to), he still hadn't earned acknowledgment. Hadn't deserved pity or anything else. He doesn't even deserve to stand next to Stede and fluff his ego, as far as Stede seems concerned.

Stede hasn't forgiven Izzy. And maybe it's because he feels there's nothing to forgive, it's mostly Stede's own fault- maybe it's because he blames him too much and will never let it go- maybe he's too hurt to feel anything but tired and sad once the immediate danger has passed... Izzy doesn't know.

What he does know, is that he has tried everything to get reactions out of Stede. Everything except apologizing. So, I'm personally hoping for an apology in the upcoming episodes. For some vulnerability and truth and embarrassment. Because these are the beats of a redemption. These are the plot points of turning your life around, and people either don't believe it's genuine at first or don't care.

This is the "cost" of Izzy's actions in Season 1. And it's something they haven't given us from anyone else yet. I'd also really like Ed to make some kind of address of the fact ("You wanted Blackbeard as dark and demanding as he could possibly get, I gave that to you"). Because that's how a redemption arc works best. The guy who fucked up has to put in an effort expressly to be forgiven.

To me, it's not enough that his life sucked for a couple months and he didn't get exactly what he wanted (aka, he didn't realize he didn't actually want it like that) and he lost a leg. He's going to keep pirating on one foot, but to receive a position on The Revenge happily shared, there needs to be something more.

More OFMD

[firespirited]

A lot has happened and I got the selective mutism again so here's a sleep meds dump.

Effie the cat abandoned by lady two doors down who's having a mental health crisis is currently living in our garden. We were going to rehome her but neighbour complexities mean that she'll be eating at the neighbours house and possibly slowly moving into their garage as their territorial cat adapts. She is a bird killer which annoys M, J who's very allergic has decided to mediate the whole cat business. I still think Effie would have no problem finding a new home but J's vetoed that. So there's a cat outside the window and I might need to build some sort of rainproof shelter soon. Papaye the cat is also back living in the building and two orange young cats moved opposite. Thankfully no fights yet.

I hurt my wrist doing some small crafts and barely any writing. RSIs are horrid. It's been a year. Very annoyed.

On the other hand uh so to speak, four people decide to shop for my dolls this week. Months of nada then 4 at once. I have parted with my preciouses, the baldies (and kept more than enough projects) to a fellow customizer and fully don't care if they get trashed, flipped into $200 customs or sit in a drawer. They're blank canvases that I can't paint. The ideas for the paintings can wait for another time, another scale, maybe even another medium.

I sent my first parcel to the states in ages!!! Will let you know how that goes!

Aaand the money earned on deglued catty noir and a couple of partial/yarn reroots went... straight back into 38 doll heads. I know. I knoooow.

So I had a rough series of days then I struck up conversation with a lady at the phonebox library to ask if she knows who runs it. She didn't know but volunteers at the red cross store in town. It was the kind of conversation that starts out friendly and I knew within a few minutes that if I didn't find a bunch of things to say that she was going to tell me her life story and probably trauma dump (which could be anything from getting older and adapting to empty nest to seriously awful), not sure why I have this effect on people but I do. I filled a awkward lull in conversation about people throwing away items that are still useful by stating that I repair fashion dolls and the enjoyment in making something old new again and learning about various crafts and she really wanted to either commission me for her 18y/o daughter's dolls or hand me the pile she's been keeping from throwing away at the red cross at which point I remembered my neck is borked (!) , i tried to repeatedly back pedal and explain that I'm currently not doing any commissions but ended up mumbling while staring at my feet oddly choked up that 'health has been a serious issue' lately and pretending Lily had pulled on her lead to change the subject. We ended the convo with thanks for her volunteer work and putting books at the phonebox, for the lovely chat, have a nice day etc.

It stuck like a piece of grit in the cogs for a few hours and then I heard we might someday get a vaccine for autoimmune diseases but that's the 15th 'promising' cure in 25 years, they really bum me out. We've been this close so many times before. I want the cure, i want the disabled to have value. I want hope. I want to not feel in debt and at society's mercy 24/7.

Later I was doing my normal ebay check just in case that rare doll drops and made a bid thinking that I probably wouldn't get it. What was in my mind was "dolls are my hobby and expertise - you can't use your shoulders so you don't have a hobby or expertise - i do it's a hiatus - it's been a year and no progress when does it end?" on a sort of quiet background loop of brain nonsense. As you do.

26euro shipped. 38 heads, 30 bodies (2heads and the bodies not pictured), terrible photos but I spied GG Nichelle, anime 90s skipper, Miko, vintage Steffie, Midge and Tutti.

It's an excellent investment if even 2 or 3 end up in decent condition.

It's also 38 steps backwards in the 'destash and stop messing with the shoulders' efforts, right at a point where I'm getting somewhere. You can't be like 'que sera que sera' when you're actively making choices.

IDK I was really hoping for a sign or a way forward and my dr and physio are super passive which is both great because they don't put me in positions where I have to face post exertional malaise by their hands only my own choices but I also do all of my own medical research and bring it to them for approval. I've run out of clues or ideas for my swollen tongue and damaged vertebrae. It makes me feel trapped then stupid happens. No, feeling trapped leads me to choose a thing that will make me feel mastery of crafts and skills and it also comes with a price tag of massive pain.

***Seriously it's small potatoes, some hobby supplies from a hobby I'm crippled at.***

... But it's symptomatic. It's part of a large scale pattern of reclaiming some sense of personal, well not control and probably not usefulness/productivity but something close to usefulness/skills? It's not quite dignity either but there's a little bit of pride in there. I'm not going to ruminate on a year of bad decisions or whether they were the least bad decisions to balance sanity and health. But there's something broken since the pandemic for sure and probably long before that I'm running from. It could even be being raised in the 'purposeful' life mindset (if you know you know)

ok i keep deleting paragraphs and paragraphs of unpacking stuff from my twenties so I'll leave it at that so my brain will allow this. The teal dear of it is that it's awfully hard to just exist without 'contributing' or generating money or cosmic goals I guess. Allowing yourself to be a mote and a blip in the universe sure is difficult.

I wouldn't allow this kind of talk from friends who have innate value to me. Hmm.

It sure was a nice few years getting to make things and I'm finding it hard to imagine a different life despite living it for a year.

__________

Well happy 21st everyone. Feed your skeleton and ear snails some funk today. Don't let the existential bedbugs bite (especially if they're ticks). Wear a mask when around gen pop and take the painkillers, things shouldn't hurt. 💚💚💚

I have a package of heads to look forward to. And a cat outside the window. And some introspection to avoid. 😅