#like the question that was the big bad wolf said to the 3 little pigs I promise I won’t eat you I’m _____
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The question: Mugsy said, “I made a mistake when I went to court. I never should’ve had _____ as my character witness.”
#RIGHT ON FANNIE#fannie flagg#match game#I’ve made the mistake of looking at the comment section of match game YouTube and it’s filled with people who just don’t Get the show#especially the role of the Weird Girl#I’d lay odds that these same commenters would be the kind of bozo contestants who would give crummy answers super confidently#yes the Weird Girl is there to get laughs. they all are. it’s a comedy game show. but she’s also there for oddball contestants.#like the question that was the big bad wolf said to the 3 little pigs I promise I won’t eat you I’m _____#expected answers were vegetarian and full but the contestant said Jewish—funny and perfectly logical—and Fannie was her only match#the Weird Girl is weird on purpose!#it’s always the same people who don’t like Brett and Kaye stevens too#👀 pretty sure the reason is just plain old misogyny and not thinking women are funny#Cher tweet rant over I feel better actually I just tired myself out
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is miss Muffet going to appear? Where is she?
I thought she came with them in the Lands In Between
YES ZAC YES ZAC
His nat20s are INSANE.
Oh we went hard Christian indeed
Oh no Lou. You broke my heart. "why other could? Why consequences not only never seemed to apply to other kids but were the ultimate for me. Why did I have to suffer every step of the way. Why must I suffer all the time whatever i do."
"For a moment you are all marionettes together". Stop it. Stop. It's too strong to hard.
Oh no not the turquoise hair fairy
Oh what was this second map with the sea?? Ariel? And I think they were other border of countries
Oh no Gepetto wth. Poor Pinocchio
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE YOU??? What the what the what. Whaaaaat?
I'm crying so hard. I know he doesn't believe it but I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much
Or there she is
Brennan showing absolutely perfect the danger kids are in when the people in their life don't show them love and affection enough. They get easily manipulated and are ready to give everything to the first glimpse of affection. Real or not. I don't blame Pinocchio, I will never blame him. But I HATE what the Turquoise hair fairy and Gepetto did. Oh you regret what you said? Apologize. Apologize NOW. You can't afford your kid being so neglected and deprived of your affection that the will run first thing to anyone. That's how grooming happen.
Oh the way they all jumped to tell him his dad loved him but it doesn't excuse that what he did and say was wrong
"Even though the moral is wrong Pinocchio still has to escape the moral of his story" oh this episode is breaking me
Oh so the fairies are not a united bunch, interesting
Still absolutely don't trust her tho
Okay so basically the Bad Things are happening because it doesn't match what the Authors want? But if the Authors would. Well. Disappear. What would happen?
Oh we're finally getting some insight on the relationships between groups
I fucking love the big bad wolf. Well I love wolf. I'm just sad he doesn't have a pack, he must me lonely
OH YES RED STORY YES YES FINALLY
Dramatic backstory: starting
Emily: Cinnamon Toast Rolls and Lollypopcorn
Bye broth! A caterpillar chasing their friend the butterfly
"Your ears are honking big" picturing the Wolf listening to the caterpillar and butterfly story while waiting to eat her. Story he already know ofc
They are just loosing it at "Honkin" and honestly same
I love the wolf so hard he is a tragedy that's incredible "why? I am a wolf"
Oh she waited so long. So so long. No wonder she killed the Woodsman.
She was so hungry. I love her. I hate The Wolf. I love the Wolf. I wonder what happened to him to end up there.
YES RED YES. She met death and death convinced her to live!
Gerard's story is so funny, tragic and very reflective but so. Funny.
The absolute chaos if Gerard just. Dies.
"do you go where the dogs are or to your frog pound" "pretty loaded question"
It's adorable that Murph just stated that years after it's still only Fred 2 and 3. Not like. 364.
Oh no they are dead
Oh their meet cute is so adorable
The plot thickens as we met the Gander
OH CINDERELLA
Oh no it's the Stepmother story
Yes it is
That's so much wider she loved her daughters
BABA YAGA OH YES OH FHKGFXHJ
Yeah same Emily EXACTLY SAME
Oh i'm so happy. She's so strong and old
She's going to be a pain in the ass
"your daughters won't be injured if you eat them, and then you will be able to save them" i'm not sure but that's something she could say for sure
There goes the witch way
To be the vilain in every story. To be cursed with never having a story. I would be mad too
How cruel that in a way she has the same goal as Cinderella
She big mad
But when does she eat her daughters?
No no no not her present. You are level 4 guys
Oh that's where she eats her daughters
Rosamund is so smart
The brick little pig being called a boar and a Baron (love the alliteration btw)
I understand from Brennan that while they were running for their life the book of mother Goose downloaded a shit load of information
Have they slept since they arrive in this new life? I feel like they didn't which is HORRIFYING
Any situation: involve a living being
Pib: I kill them
I really would like to understand the nature of that damn book fr
That Gérard&Pib interaction was gold:
Pib: idk how we're going to know someone who knows...
Gerard (vigorously) : yeah we just need to break him out
Pib (confused) : wait... We... No no I think we..
Love them to bits
"so you guys go camping?" well yeah Brennan THEY HAVEN'T REST IT'S A LONG DAY FOR THEM
They are children. "Can we sleap on the roof please?"
LONG REST
The dice sometimes tel' the story of a Frog who got a level of exhaustion from being outside, wet and dirty. Basic living conditions for frogs. While the wooden boy who can rot easily is sooo fine.
Mother Goose bless 🙌🙌
That envoy is absolutely spectacular. A Princess (slept for 100y)with her envoy, basically and old man, a puppet, a cat, a manfrog and a cloak
Rosamund: I AM NOT going to propose myself to be married. No. Not interested and I don't think that's something you do
30sec later: I'm here to offer myself in marriage
Zac and Emily's reactions>>>
Can't believe the Baron isn't call Beter
#dimension 20#d20#brennan lee mulligan#neverafter#siobhan thompson#ally beardsley#zac oyama#lou wilson#brian murphy#emily axford#ylfa snorgelsson#little red riding hood#gerard of greenleigh#pib neverafter#puss in boots#pinocchio#pinocchio neverafter#mother goose#mother timothy goose#sleeping beauty#rosamund du prix
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
buffet
yes i know i teased this fic months ago but i finally got it finished! this is a pregame oum.asai fic (feat. mutual stuffing owo)
ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32253592
(based off a real experience i had in japan .3.)
Going out to a fancy restaurant was never a luxury Kokichi had.
Going to a standard sushi bar, however, was just barely within his reach. His new Danganronpa buddy, Shuichi Saihara, had invited him to dinner after watching the new episode. Shuichi was far better off than himself, so of course it would be no trouble treating Kokichi to a simple meal.
“Are you sure you don’t mind paying for me? I’ll try not to order too much if that’ll help…” the smaller one mumbled, not meeting the other’s eyes.
Shuichi gently put a hand on Kokichi’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. We’re just here to enjoy ourselves, and celebrate another great episode of the best show on television!” The purple haired boy gave a sheepish smile as the two walked into the restaurant and took their seats. A myriad of images flashed onto the screen on the wall next to their booth, showcasing the delicacies available to them. Such a variety was new to Kokichi, to the point where it felt overwhelming. Meanwhile, Shuichi wasted no time in selecting numerous plates of sushi.
Truthfully, there was another reason Kokichi wanted to come. There was something special about watching Shuichi eat - the glimmer in his eyes and genuine smile when he bit into his favorite foods. His calmness was contagious and made the normally anxious Kokichi feel at peace with him. (And, well… it was nice for Shuichi to focus on something other than Danganronpa, for once.)
It didn’t take long for the sushi plates to slide along the wall’s conveyor belt, accompanied with a cheery chime. Five small plates containing two sushi pieces each were grabbed hastily by Shuichi and placed before him. Faster than Kokichi’s eyes could keep up, a piece of tuna sushi was popped into the blue haired boy’s mouth. Shuichi grinned and chewed a bit, before giving a hearty gulp.
“Aren’t you gonna order something?”
Kokichi was snapped out of his stupor by the sudden question. “Y-Yeah, I’m still deciding.” Although that was easier said than done, considering his picky nature and the unknown options displayed. Settling for a couple plates of salmon sushi and a can of Panta, he placed his order and tried his best not to stare at Shuichi, who effortlessly wolfed down four of the five plates in front of him. The taller boy’s appetite never failed to amaze him. It was… cute.
And there it was. It was getting harder for Kokichi to conceal his odd crush on Shuichi, given the circumstances. Watching someone eat so much wasn’t supposed to be cute, was it? He should be disgusted at the other’s brazen disregard for manners, but such an emotion just didn’t exist in this moment. It was mesmerizing, in a way. Just as Kokichi’s order was arriving, Shuichi casually ordered another 3 plates of varying sushi.
“You okay, ‘Kichi? Your face is red,” he asked, taking a swig of water.
The smaller boy hurriedly rubbed his cheeks in a futile attempt to cover his blush. “It’s just hot in here, that’s all.” Shuichi said nothing in response, but he could have sworn he saw a smirk on his face.
Shuichi was on to him, wasn’t he?
Kokichi grabbed his plates and drink and stuffed a piece of sushi in his mouth. He was caught off guard with how fresh it tasted. He was so used to measly cafeteria food, he couldn’t help but smile. No wonder Shuichi was fixated on this stuff. By the time Kokichi finished his first plate, his friend had already cleaned his three new plates. The smaller boy’s mouth was slightly agape as he watched him lean forward to order a small bowl of ramen. Shuichi plopped back in his seat with a satisfied smile, resting his hands on his stomach.
Kokichi couldn’t help but feel bad about his pace. Maybe he wouldn’t be so scrawny if he ate like his friend. With this new resolve, he shoved the rest of the food in his mouth and took a gulp of soda. Shuichi’s bowl had arrived just then, with the taller boy taking it off the conveyor belt.
“There’s no need to rush,” he laughed softly. “Your food isn't going anywhere.”
Kokichi looked up with a smirk. “Same to you, Shu.”
Shuichi shrugged, but bounced back after a slurp of his noodles. “Dude, you gotta try this!” Kokichi foolishly expected his friend to let him try his, but Shuichi was already scarfing down the bowl. He chuckled quietly before ordering a bowl of his own. The smaller boy was comfortably full, but who was he to deny indulging his best friend? Surely he could handle a small helping of ramen.
The taller boy went on to order a few more plates along with some side dishes while babbling on about the new episode. Kokichi listened intently as he ate the delicious ramen, finishing his drink straight after. By the time he finished, though, he felt a tightness at his belt. As discreetly as he could, he went to unbutton his pants. He was relatively shocked to see a small lump formed under his uniform. It was such a strange yet warm feeling. Placing his hands on his newly formed belly, he rubbed at it a little.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Shuichi lean in slightly. “Hey ‘Kichi, you want dessert?”
The smaller boy looked up and blinked. “You’re still hungry?” Just how big was his crush’s stomach capacity?
“Sorta, but I want to share it with you. You’ve still got room, right?” he asked.
Kokichi looked down at his stomach, as if he could feel it voicing complaints about the prospect of more food. He did see a delectable-looking slice of strawberry cake on the menu, and he knew he’d regret passing it up. Of course, he also didn’t want to disappoint Shuichi. That was far more important in his eyes.
“I think I’ll manage,” he replied with a cheeky grin.
Minutes later, and the cake slice arrived. Despite his fullness, Kokichi felt a bit of drool form around his mouth as he took in the sight before him. A slight strawberry drizzle coated the top with a zigzag design, with a large strawberry sitting atop the back. The filling consisted of vanilla and more strawberries with a rich, creamy icing. Shuichi used his fork to slice it in half, giving the larger portion to Kokichi. Having a dessert like this would be a piece of cake, literally.
...Or so he thought, until the last bit of strawberry sat on the plate in a taunting manner. His tummy definitely wasn’t happy with him at this point, but he was too far in to give up now. Slowly, Kokichi lifted the piece and brought it to his mouth, easing it in. The strawberry went down with a hard swallow, causing the smaller boy to lean back with a light moan. His fingers curled around the now-open seams of his uniform, feeling the shirt underneath. Kokichi's body was practically begging for a nap, and all the warm food inside him felt heavenly. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so at peace; but that peace was quickly interrupted by excess air rising up his throat. He quickly moved a hand up to his mouth to stifle a small burp before closing his eyes and leaning back once again.
He peeked an eye open to see Shuichi’s twelve clean plates stacked neatly to the side along with his empty bowl and water glass. The taller boy was also panting a bit, seemingly fiddling with his own pants button.
“Guess we’re both *urp* done, huh?” Shuichi asked tiredly. Kokichi could only nod in response.
After a few minutes of struggling to stand, Shuichi paid the bill and the two headed out into the cool, quiet evening. The smaller boy finally got a good look of the damage on his crush, and… wow. Shuichi almost looked pregnant with how much he packed into himself. Kokichi’s belly looked so small by comparison, it made him look like he was exaggerating. He had never eaten so much in his life, he felt as though he would pop at any moment.
Shuichi, however, seemed to be taking it in stride. “Man, that hit the spot! Guess watching Danganronpa really works up my appetite,” he sighed, giving his soccer ball belly a firm pat. Giving a brief look at his stomach, he suddenly looked at Kokichi with regret. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this, I probably looked like a pig…”
Kokichi shook his head. “Not at all! You’re not gross. I, um, liked it a lot,” he blushed. For once, Shuichi returned the blush. “That’s a relief. I gotta confess something too, though.”
The smaller boy looked at him curiously. “I wanted you to have a lot because you look so frail… I’m really worried about your health." He looked away, putting a hand behind his head sheepishly. "Er, sorry, that sounded rude didn’t it? I didn’t mean it like th-”
“It’s okay, Shuichi. Thank you,” Kokichi gave a gentle smile, placing a hand on the taller boy’s warm stomach. “I’d love to go out with you again sometime.”
Shuichi gave a large smirk. “So it’s a date, then?”
Against all odds, Kokichi’s face became even more red. The blue haired boy merely laughed, bending down slightly to give a peck on Kokichi’s cheek.
“See you after school tomorrow, ‘Kichi.”
#stuffedronpa#forgive me for i have sinned#lol jk#we need more mutual stuffing fics so heres my contribution <3#pora's fix
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
It looks like one of my answers doesn’t show up in the tags so I’ll copy it here, just in case. It might be interesting for the asoiaf fans, Jaqen’s and Arya’s fans in particular;)
So, the question I received was:
Where is the coherent foreshadowing for Jaqen and Arya? It all seems taken out of fucking nowhere
And here we go:
It starts in the very first book when Arya names her direwolf after the queen who married a Dornishman, and it never stops because Arya and Jaqen are repeating Lyanna’s and Rhaegar’s story. Of course, in ASOIAF, the story is never exactly the same. Which by the way gives me hope that at least they will have their happy ending. Or the closest thing to a happy ending, which in George Martin’s world means less heartbreaking than the others’s endings;d
Trouble with Jaqarya foreshadowing is that George Martin started writing the story with a five year gap in mind between Arya’s arrival in Braavos and A Dance with Dragons. So, when he first envisioned the story he already had a 15 year old Arya in mind. It means that Arya and Jaqen would have reunited in A Dance with Dragons already and she would have been old enough for a romance. It also means that Jaqen’s identity would have been revealed in A Dance with Dragons.
But, since GRRM abandoned the idea, we have to wait for the reveal till The Winds of Winter. As a consequence the whole build-up is made of hints, symbols, clues, metaphors, parallels to R/L and so on. Nothing is said explicitly because it would ruin the big reveal of who Jaqen is and what’s ahead of them.
So, from the top:
1. Arya names her direwolf after Nymeria, a queen who found home far from her own country and who married a Dornishman. Jaqen is half Dornish, he is Elia’s and Rhaegar’s son, Aegon VI. I already pinned the answer about his true identity to my profile so please read it if you need further explanation.
Thanks to the Game of Thrones finale we know that Arya will sail across the sunset sea. I searched through the books after s8 and of course I found information that they both, J&A, will leave. I guess I need to thank D&D for Arya’s ending, otherwise I would have overlooked the clues completely.
So, either they will find home far away, somewhere in the sea, or in Braavos or in Dorne or they will return to Jaqen’s castle ( the Red Keep or Dragonstone ). Wherever they will stay, it’s going to be far from Arya’s birth place, Winterfell.
2. Nymeria has golden eyes, Arya thinks that they shine like golden coins - it’s another connection to Jaqen ( Aegon ) who switches his iron coin for a golden dragon in A Feast for Crows. The coin is poisoned and kills Pate but it’s also a symbol of courtship. Pate needed it to claim his beloved Rosey.
3. On the way to King’s Landing, Arya is picking up flowers in the Neck, perhaps in the same area where the flowers for Lyanna’s crown had been picked. Ned is deeply moved when he sees Arya with the flowers because she reminds him of Lya. The flowers are purple - purple is the symbol of royal birth, of the rightful heir to the throne whom Jaqen ( Aegon ) is. They are called poisoned kisses and burn Arya’s hands - Jaqen is using poisons and represents fire. He is a Targ, a future dragon rider. Arya will also burn her hands and lips in the House of Black and White while learning to make poisons.”Poisoned kisses” is a bad name, it implies doomed love which reminds us of R/L. For Arya it means a love for the murderer. Hopefully with a happier ending than Lya’s love.
4. Ned tells Arya that she will marry a king and rule his castle and they will have sons. Like I said before, Jaqen is the rightful king. In A Clash of Kings, Arya even reveals his identity though it is very cleverly concealed in the scene when she gives him his own name. To be brief: it's a play on words; he asks her if the name of the king she wants dead is Joffrey and she answers the name ( of the king ) is Jaqen H’ghar. So Joffrey is not the king, he’s impostor, the true king is Jaqen.
5. In King’s Landing, Arya has dreams of Rhaenys though she doesn’t realize it. She also catches Rhaenys’s cat, her “little dragon”, and kisses its forehead. In Harrenhal, Jaqen kisses her forehead as if to return the kiss;)
6. Arya ruins Sansa’s silk dress and offers to make her a new one. Sansa tells her she could make a dress good enough only to clean the pigsty.
That pigsty is kind of a big deal.
In fairytales, princes disguise themselves as swineherds to hide their true identity, like in H.C Andersen’s story “The Swineherd”.
George Martin used this motif in his books too. In AFFC Jaqen wears the face of Pate “the Pig Boy”. Arya, on the other hand, lives in Braavos in his house, makes dresses and sweeps the floors. She lives in the Pig Boy’s house, in the pigsty, and cleans it - just like Sansa has said. Only the pigsty is the prince’s house like Ned has foretold.
7. In Harrenhal, Jaqen wakes Arya from her wolf dream and kisses her. This motif comes from the Sleeping Beauty fairytale - only the prince can awake the sleeping beauty.
8. Also in Harrenhal, Jaqen and Arya make their “weasel soup”. They pour hot broth on the guards to free the Northmen. Jaqen gives Arya a pair of padded gloves and he is wearing the identical gloves himself, while they struggle the pot of soup between them - it’s a metaphor for sharing power. Gloves are symbol of power and noble birth.
The cooking pot is another motif borrowed from “The Swineherd” - the prince has a magic pot that plays a song. Jaqen ( Aegon ) has a song too, a song of Ice and Fire.
9. Jaqen gives Arya his coin ( we already know it’s a symbol of courtship ) and she pays with it for a passage across the narrow sea. She crosses the sea to get to the House of Black and White, the house of darkness.
In Greek mythology, the souls of dead people pay with a coin to cross the river and get to the Underworld. Arya, like Persephone, is first shown while picking up flowers and then she descends into the Underworld seduced by GRRM’s version of Hades. Hades has a three-headed dog, Jaqen has a prophecy ( and the coin ) of a three-headed dragon.
10. When Arya meets the Ghost of High Heart, the witch compares her to Jenny, a girl with flowers in her hair who fell in love with a Targaryen prince.
11. In ASOS, Arya listens to Tom Sevenstrings playing My Featherbed song. The song was written by Rhaegar for Lyanna. It tells the story of Jenny and Duncan Targaryen but Rhaegar concealed his own feelings for Lya in the text. The lyrics refer to Arya and Jaqen as well - they repeat J/D and R/L story of a Targaryen prince and a girl from the North.
Of course Rhaegar didn’t know about his son and Lya’s niece when he wrote the song:))
The song is not about Gendrya, like people think. I already mentioned it in one of my answers. It’s very important because it helps to understand what had happened in Harrenhal and what will happen to Arya and Jaqen.
Arya hears My Featherbed after Gendry invited her to the smithy. He knocked her over and they wrestled. Her dress was torn and she looked as if someone had tried to hurt her. Right after Tom plays Rhaegar’s song. Gendry obviously didn’t want to hurt Arya but that scene explains what Robert did in Harrenhal after Rhaegar left - he was furious that Rhaegar crowned Lya so he demanded “his rights”. That’s why Lyanna ran off. Rhaegar was her rescue.
12. In the House of Black and White Arya sleeps under the red blanket which reminds her of her favorite blanket from Winterfell. I’m sure it’s Jaqen’s blanket, and perhaps his bed too, because red is his color: red hair, red poison, red war, red god, red comet over Harrenhal, red dragon (?) - red accompanies him throughout his journey. Of course black is his color too, it’s the color of the Stranger. Red and black are the colors of House...
13. In Arya’s Braavosi chapters GRRM concealed the story of the beginning of Rhaegar’s and Lyanna’s love in Harrenhal. But that’s a massive story to tell so I will write a separate post about it.
14. Finally, in Mercy chapter Arya hears the story of the first Black Pearl of Braavos, the pirate queen, and her affair with King Aegon IV. She sighs wistfully and says that she would love to see a dragon too. Dragon here means more than an animal, GRRM once again hints at her future romance with the Dragon.
15. “Mercy” chapter parallels the prologue to A Feast for Crows. Originally it was meant to be in AFFC but GRRM eventually moved it to TWOW.
Perhaps GRRM wanted Jaqen’s chapter to start AFFC and Arya’s chapter to end the book. The prologue is a chapter with two main motifs: dragons and love. “Mercy” is a chapter of revenge and love for a dragon. The prologue starts at night when Pate’s beloved is sleeping naked in her room. “Mercy” starts at dawn when Arya wakes up naked in her room and sees a dragon boat passing beneath her window.
But those two chapters are so rich in parallels that they deserve a separate post as well:)
16. While Jaqen and Arya are having their adventures in Oldtown and Braavos respectively, in the North Mance is infiltrating Winterfell. Mance is posing as a bard. He sings a song of a Dornishman’s wife in turn with the Northman’s daughter. It’s another delightful hint that the Northman’s daughter, Ned’s daughter is ( well, will be ) the Dornishman’s wife.
As you can see it’s a pretty massive foreshadowing. I probably still omitted something because there are really tons of those clues.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the read.
Thanks for the ask :)
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
KLAROLINE FALL BINGO PREVIEW.
@eliliyah @klarolinefallbingo
Prompt: Dias De Muertos
Honestly the relevancy of the prompt comes far to late in the story but it’s there, kinda. But hey it’s there.
MASQUERADES
(CinemaAU)
Sometimes all she needed was to take a breather. A single moment. One pause.
Breathe in.
To collect her thoughts and emotions. To steady her bearings.
To state in a repetitive loop all the reasons why punching one Niklaus Mikaelson in the balls would be a marginally bad idea.
And breathe out.
Forgive her, but The man was infuriating. Okay?
And unashamedly so. Not a whit of genuine compunction behind that facade of ‘Inescapable Charisma and Unadulterated Allure.’
Definitely not her words.
Nope. No sir.
These were the words of a certain Greta Martin, editor-in-chief for the first October issue of People Magazine.
With one Mega-frustrating arrogant blonde blue-eyed dimpled asshat demon going by the name Klaus slapped to the front of said issue.
And Nope if anyone asks,
No, she did not literally just shred -In a shredding machine no less, because efficiency, thank you very much- the first copy of the magazine she bought, after reading the beginning eight lines on his exclusive, recounting what a ‘delightfully satisfying and marvellous experience the entire three months of shooting turned out to be.’
Ok one Black-hole sized pause right there please.
Thank you.
A single beat.
And....
The Absolute Fuck?!
She’s sorry. Marvellous experience?
Excuse her, but say what?
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Beg pardon but What?
Excuse her.
But Marvellous experience, as in, aggressive quotation marks scratching the air “Marvellous experience” is NOT how she remembers it.
The slap in the face obvious discrepancy to both their stories is definitely not blind to her.
He called 84 re-takes that lasted four whole hours for one eight minute long single-shot single-angle scene, Marvellous.
He called having ice-cold Whiteclaw thrown square on his face by a Absolutely-done-with-wild-gust-of-agitated-Blonde-Fury on the eighth day of set, Marvellous.
He called having two separate make-up artists downright quit after being unable to touch up her makeup every thirteen seconds because she ran her hand down her face in unbridled aggravation every time her eyes landed on him, Marvellous.
He called the same experience where, she had to literally rush out of a set, under the ruse of a bathroom break, Twice in the course of three months, so that she can peacefully go through the motions of a rage-fueled emotional meltdown, complete with angry frustrated tears and a relentlessly colourful diatribe, cursing every man in her life who bore even a sliver of resemblance to the stormy-blue-eyed spawn of satan that was her co-actor, Marvellous.
God. How the hell did he possibly think he could get away with this,
How did he think he was going to smooth over the transparent inconsistencies between her interviews and his, without raising at least a few confused questions from bloodthirsty intuitive fans and the Press in general.
Given how her talk-show interviews and magazine exclusives gave the steady image, that
1. Klaus Mikaelson is a dick and a half, with an overgrown ego so ginormous that even the entirety of Tinseltown is ‘plainly restricting of his nonpareil talent in histrionic execution.’
2. Klaus Mikaelson is an arrogant narcissistic asshole that Hast pronounc'd upon his brethren yond this day f'rth that gent shalt with ev'ry smidgen of purpose in his life striveth to be the Unrivalled Bane of Caroline Forbes’ Existence.
3. The process of Creating the undeniable tour de force Masterpiece that was ‘100 years of solitude.’ The newest Christopher Nolan Direction and Production in theatres right now, that already has definite Academy Awards Nomination in the talks, was anything but Marvellous. She admits, It was so so gratifying and made her heart full with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, that left her giddy with such lighthearted contentment for days, after the phenomenal response it garnered post-premiering, Yes. But that does not capsulate how frustratingly tiresome and emotionally debilitating the entire creation process was. Hell it was downright painful at times.
4. Would she voluntarily take another movie with Klaus Mikaelson as a Co-star alongside her? You can get back to her when the sun starts to rise from the west and the answer would still be a definitive NO.
Now of course she wasn’t this brazen with her claims she knows how to be cute and classy and concise.
But she definitely did not mitigate the truth of her statement, she’s had enough training with her PR department to know what to say and how to say it but she’s sure that nobody had been able to overlook her less than companionable remarks about Klaus.
For example
The Stephen Colbert Show:
Stephen: “So Caroline tell us about the process, the Making of it, how everything fell into place like tiny puzzle pieces to reveal at last this grand, Grand Picture.”
“The process? Well the process was certainly not...pretty...but after every time we finished a scene, however small or inconsequential it may have seemed to the plot, there was this immense sense of ‘there-Done it. And done it well.’ ”
Jimmy Kimmel Live:
“Klaus Mikaelson, well my Co-star is um....eccentric at best.....”
Jimmy: “and at worst?”
“Well..... I guess” -hellish, heinously intolerable, a cruel mean bastard- “....Unyielding...?”
The Ellen Show:
“Well Klaus was a..... demanding partner and it took Herculean efforts to meet his exacting standards, but I can understand how that paid off so well on screen. The end result when I saw it for the first time, it damn well paid off.”
Ellen: “so he is absolved of his admittedly ‘uphill’ personality then?”
She laughs awkwardly,
“Ye-ah....No.”
followed by more laughter dissolving the painstaking grimace she’s trying to tamper down.
Oh and the worst.
The Late Late show with James Cordon:
During the ‘Fill Your Guts or Spill Your Guts’ segment
James: “So....I’m going to give you, let’s see, Ah there, the Bird Saliva.”
Caroline: “James!.... Damn it, you are so not making it into my good books, and....God. That’s just disconcerting I mean, How do they even, I don’t know... collect it?”
James: “Well there’s a whole process of harvesting it from the salivary glands and—“
Caroline: “Never mind! Nope. No need for the details, please, James, a lady’s delicate sensibilities are at stake. And unless the question is ‘what is your social security number?’ I’m not drinking this poison.”
James: “Now Caroline you wound me, I can assure you everything on this table is edible albeit being marginally unpalatable—“
Caroline: “Marginally?!”
James: “You should try the Cow’s tongue. It’s delectable.” Followed by a sagely nod.
Caroline: “Now I’m just intensely bothered. You’ve definitely lost all claim for a spot in my good books.”
James: “Ah well, speaking of staying in your good graces, here’s a question that will have you downing that Saliva in seconds.”
Caroline: “Hit me.”
James: “Well then, ‘Name Any one CO-star with whom you have worked with in the past that you would never volunteer to work with again.’”
Pause.
And the audience descended.
“Like I said, speaking about staying in your good books.”
Amidst the raucous screams, whistles and laughter, it didn’t even bother Caroline, the clarity and speed with which the name
‘Klaus Mikaelson’ flashed in the front of her mind, like a large Neon LED sign from a typical Vegas Nightlife scene.
It took her a total of three seconds to know that she was going to answer with his name because, well just look at that drink in front of her,
Sure if you bend over real low and squint in the right light it may look like a harmless Daiquiri, but a Daiquiri it was not.
No. This was Bird Freaking Saliva,
Come on, you can’t possibly ask her to put that in her goddamn mouth.
Like NO.
Just no.
So sue her for protecting her taste buds that are yet to experience many more exotic flavours and textures of food from all around the world.
But then again she can’t possibly outright just say “Oh that’s easy, Klaus Mikaelson.”
That’s exactly the kinda PR trouble she wants to stay above and definitely didn’t need to be wrung out dry by her Spitfire Mistress-of-Hell Publicist Katherine Pierce for.
(Who also alternates as her BFF, occasionally, mind you.)
So she puts on a good show, dropped her head in her hands, gave a healthy long groan, looked up and gave James her best wounded Puppy Dog eyes, to which he was clearly not immune to, judging by how he looked a touch chagrined, but the game was just as much as beyond his hands as it were hers,
She looked to the audience “You guys are so mean, it’s not even funny.”
And grumbled a bit more till everyone was laughing and pitching forward and back on their seat amused by the poor Blonde’s Dilemma.
So she looked up to the heavens as if to ask for some unknown deity for deliverance and guidance, and poised herself to drink,
Only to put the glass back down in the last second in a begrudgingly weak show of caving in, and blurted out reluctantly,
(She’s a glorious actor, she’s aware.)
“You know what, Nope. He’s just gotta deal with it, okay?.”
Deep breath
Or was it the audience taking a deep breath and holding it in,
“ItsKlausMikaelson,PleaseDontKillMe.”
Pause again.
And the auditorium transcended.
Well,
she handled that, pretty well, if she does say so herself you know.
Apparently Kat Disagrees.
Apparently She Blew It.
She blew it so hard she could’ve knocked down the third little pig’s brick house.
Ironic since she always envisioned Klaus as the Big Bad Wolf who huffs and puffs and just generally blows.
Apparently her little admission was a PR disaster.
And Kat was furious.
The two minute edited clip that encompassed the question, the reluctant grumbling and finally the confession was apparently now a viral video on all social networking platforms.
They were trending on twitter under the hashtag
#KlarolineUnrequitedLoveIsABitch.
But her admission to being generally averted on taking up Klaus as a colleague again was apparently only one half of the video,
The other half....
Well the other other half was Klaus with his personal confession.
God, it wasn’t even a confession,
it was a—a Mockery, yes that’s it, a Mockery,
Of Her, no less
Basically Here’s the run down of the second insidious half of the video,
Klaus sitting in front of Graham Norton, in all their British glory, going live on The Graham Norton Show,
when asked about Caroline Forbes, his “partner” on scene has the audacity to let out this evil little amused huff and say:
“Caroline?” Another amused huff. “Well Caroline, Christ, where do I start? She’s an absolutely glorious presence on set. Her energy....it’s infectious, She hits you like a blonde hurricane of sunshine and snark and you’re just left staring up at the sun thinking, ‘you need to catch up mate, if you want to be half as bright and burning as her.’”
And Caroline thinks maybe this is the feeling of your brain imploding within the confines of the skull.
TBC
#klarolinefallbingo#Klaroline fall bingo#klaroline drabbles#klaroline fic#klaroline fanfiction#otp: Caroline I’m not you’re British muffin#otp: I shot him and now he thinks we’re engaged#otp: Caroline my love#klaroline event#vampire diaries#and the klaroline is perfect#klaroline forever#klaus mikaelson#caroline forbes#actors#enemies to lovers#Paris Rome Tokyo#actors in love#cinemaAU#AH/AU#strong ageless fearless
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
arcana modern au headcanons
mc
their aunt is still around because i said so
was in a car crash :-(
suffers from severe retrograde amnesia as a result of traumatic brain injury, as well as a lot of other physical injuries
had to relearn how to read, write, speak, walk, everyday basic tasks felt impossible. thankfully asra was with them 25/7
somehow after everything is still hope and joy incarnated
has an encyclopedic knowledge of plants and crystals, maybe one day they’ll inherit the shop
their aunts folk remedies for migraines
makes friends everywhere they go.
got mugged and just said “but i don’t want to give it to you”
asra
we already know he’s a hippie
drives an ancient vw bus because “I can fit all my friends in it”. the inside is decorated with colorful blankets, lights, and other tacky objects
lovingly referred to as the shaggin’ wagon.
lowkey famous on every social media site he joins, but it does help with business at the shop
he works the counter at the shop, lives there most days of the week, and brings back ingredients whenever he goes to muriel's place
always getting into weird situations that make great stories later
brings faust everywhere. nothing is off limits
“this is my emotional support snake”
asra has never been known as a ‘timely’ or ‘organized person’, but when it comes to mc’s medicine schedule, he is NOT fucking around.
muriel
he and asra grew up together in foster care, and ran away in their teens to live in an abandoned house in the woods
muriel really deserves his own hgtv show after all the work he puts into the house to make it livable
does random repair jobs and sells handmade furniture to earn a living.
chickens
goes to the library to research homesteading and makes his own edible garden
inanna is a stray dog he found that keeps following him
“muriel thats an actual wolf”
the most wholesome person in the world, even though he acts like he doesn't care
has nature documentaries on in the background
vegetarian vibes
maybe he was in the military, but he doesn't ever want to talk about it :-(
julian
he was rounding in his last year of medical school when mc was in the ICU
that's how he and asra met.. and you know the rest.. yikes
always getting attacked by this random crow every time he leaves home. it's very entertaining to watch.
when hes not working he's at this seedy karaoke bar.
coffee shop knows his name and order, and the punchlines to all his jokes, but hey, he tips well.
lives with mazenlinka because “who could possibly afford rent in this damned city?”
chaotic energy. rowdy boy. nasty rowdy boy.
his practice is within walking distance of the shop. checks in on mc every now and then to see how his favorite patient is doing
“hey watch this” *does some freaky double jointed shit*
for living in the city he has a weirdly in depth knowledge about sailing
nadia
gonna go with the classic big business owner trope, a branch off of her parents company.
looks intimidating until she smiles and starts talking, then she’s one of the kindest, intelligent, and funny people you’ve ever met
has a wine fridge in her office
suffers from severe migraines, sometimes so bad it affects her memory, which is why she hired portia as a PA.
she doesn't like using the word assistant though, portia is her most trusted friend.
yes she married a sociopath on a drunken whim in las vegas. yes they divorced. no she doesn't want to talk about it.
sleepovers and gossip with asra every friday
didn’t know mc before the accident, but when asra told her she immediately contacted the hospital to pay for all their medical and physical therapy bills.
portia
funky little lesbian
has a picture of pepi in her wallet to show people who didn't ask
rents out an adorable little cottage not too far from work
“is there cat hair on my back?”
her garden looks like some pinterest bs it's amazing, not to mention she's always wearing something colorful
proud sister of the worlds lamest brother
simultaneously mom friend and just baby
has some great remedies to ease migraines after working with nadia, mc is absolutely thrilled when she shares them
uses :3 emoji
BEST gift giver hands down
lucio
“hey doc! wanna come hand out?! i got some n-” *sound of julian locking his car doors, pretending not to see him.*
goes to the gym and does one set then takes pictures and leaves
very loud sports car that drives.... like that
questionable morals, but he takes good care of his dogs, they're practically spoiled
business major frat boy
managed to start his own company and does extremely well.
his prosthetic gets professionally polished once a week.
doesn't understand why noddy blocked him on instagram
once when he was a kid a pig chased him in the petting zoo
#i would write a fic but im gay so i cant concentrate that long#the arcana#the arcana modern au#modern au#the arcana mc#the arcana apprentice#asra#muriel#julian devorak#portia devorak#nadia satrinava#the arcana lucio#the arcana shop#the arcana game#the arcana headcanons
224 notes
·
View notes
Text
WoT - Would you read it for Chris' snack? // PILOT
Today we have, Food Follies, the pilot of Write on Time.
The scene starts showing a grassy field with only one tree, in this tree we can see a small bird house hanging from a branch, that's the Tricky Trio's house, the scene starts to show the inside of the house, where Joseph and Philip are playing a card game called "The Game".
Philip: JUST PLAY!
Joseph: I'm thinking! T-INK-IN-G, now wait, will ya?
Philip: Ngh, don't think so you don't hurt your head.
Philip gets up, stands next to Joseph, and starts to see his cards.
Philip: If I were you I would play this one.
Joseph: Ok.
Joseph plays the card chosen by Philip.
Philip: Hey, how did you make such a good play?
Joseph: Secret.
Philip: Cool, 'cuz I WIN!
Philip plays all his cards and wins the game, he laughs while Joseph looks at him annoyed, Joseph then looks at the camera.
Joseph: Skilled isn't he?
Joseph goes back to looking at Philip.
Joseph: Let's play again.
Chris (offscreen): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Joseph and Philip get scared and look at each other for a second, the scene then changes to Chris, sitting on a couch, Joseph and Philip jump out of the throw pillows and look at Chris.
Joseph and Philip: WHAT?
Chris: It's horrible, deplorable, unignorable... it rhymed... BUT IT'S HORRIBLE!
Joseph and Philip: WHAT?
Chris: Somebody ate my SNACK!
Joseph and Philip: IMPOSSIBLE!
Chris (crying): Possible! WAAAAAH! Help me!
Philip: Of course, we'll help! I investigated a familiar case before, mine was a turkey sandwich, I loved it, seeing it dead was the most shocking scene I have seen in 17 years being a detective.
Joseph: What was the second most shocking?
Philip: This one.
Philip gets closer to Chris.
Philip: Don't worry, the great detectives are here.
A very detective like intro happens, with the first scene showing Philip walking in circles following his own trail of footprints, and the second scene showing Joseph holding a magnifying glass analyzing things, but accidentally looking at the Sun and burning his eyes.
Philip: Firstly!
Philip gives a stylish entrance by spinning his way to Chris and putting a pipe in his mouth.
Philip: Explain what happeneEE COUGH COUGH COUGH!
Philip throws the pipe away.
Philip: What COUGH COUGH, happened COUGH.
Chris: My snack was eaten.
Philip: Can you give a more detailed explanation?
Chris: Sure, my snack, wich is a quick meal between lunch and dinner was ingested and it's probably being digested and soon will become...
Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!
Philip: What were you doing when the snack was stolen?
Chris: I was on TikTok thinking about how JungKook is pretty.
Philip: Yes, and how did you find out it was stolen?
Chris: I went to the microwave, where I kept the snack, and then, I SAW... I SAW THE SCENE... ONLY CRUMBS AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.
Chris: By the way, "GREAT DETECTIVES"... how can I know that YOU weren't the ones who ate it? BUNCH OF MUGGERS!
Philip: ARE YOU CALLING ME THIEF?
Chris: No! Just criminal, evildoer, crook and outlaw.
Philip: Oh alright, BUT IT WASN'T ME!
Joseph: Me neither.
Chris: Where were YOU at the time of the crime?
Philip and Joseph: Playing The Game.
Chris: Hmmmm, ok, nothing strange there, for now! Oh, when I find out who was responsible for this, I will equalize their face!
Philip: Let's go to the microwave to analyze the crumbs, there may be a clue there.
Everyone runs to the kitchen, and Joseph starts pointing somewhere.
Joseph: LOOK! ONE CLUE!
Chris: Where is it? Where is it?
Joseph shows a cellphone with the app "One Clue Crossword" showing.
Chris: Are you trying to die?
Philip pushes the two, and goes to the microwave.
Philip: I'm serious, people! Hmm, let me see these crumbs here.
The scene shows a very cliché detective sequence with Philip analyzing everything, putting crumbs in scientist tubes, tasting them, even hacking them with a computer. The scene then changes to Joseph and Chris standing in the middle of the kitchen looking at Philip.
Joseph: What a show off, isn't he?
Chris just nods positively. After that, Philip jumps in front of them.
Philip: Well friends.
Chris: WHAT? WHO WAS IT? SAY IT! SAY IT IMMEDIATELY! AM I DYING? DO I HAVE CHANCES TO LIVE DOCTOR?
Philip: Well, analyzing the situation a little and testing the texture and taste of the remaining crumbs, I come to the conclusion that yes, it was definitely a snack.
Chris e Joseph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Philip: I also found a sign saying "William was here."
Chris: WILLIAM!
The scene changes to William sitting on another couch from the house, watching TV, out of nowhere a long, macabre hand slowly comes out of the TV, when it touches William, the TV starts screaming and Philip, Joseph and a furious Chris jump out of it and fall on the couch.
Joseph, Chris and Philip: IT WAS YOU!
William: I'M JUST GETTING OUT OF HERE WITH MY LAWYER! I'LL ONLY SAY SOMETHING WITH A MANDATE!
Chris: It was you, wasn't it? You ate my snack!
William: Did I? I don't remember.
Chris: Oh, so you're going to make a fool of yourself now, right? PHILIP INTERROGATE HIM!
Philip stands in front of William
Philip: Let's go! Helper, hold him.
Joseph's arms start to stretch and tie William to the couch.
Philip: A crime occurred here recently, one of the clues led us to you.
William: What crime? What clue?
Joseph slaps William in the face.
Joseph: We are the ones who ask the questions here!
William: Ok... then ask.
Joseph: Uuuuhhh, are you to blame?
William: For what?
Joseph slaps William in the face again.
Joseph: I SAID THAT WE ARE THE ONES WHO ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE.
Philip: The crime is a snack theft, the clue was a sign saying "William was here."
William: Ah, well, I'm having some amnesia attacks recently so I am leaving these signs all over the house to remind myself of where I have been.
Joseph: That's the most lame excuse I've ever heard.
Philip, Chris and Joseph: It must be true.
Philip: So, sir, have you heard anything recently that might be suspicious?
William: Well... I have amnesia so I have no idea.
Philip, Chris and Joseph look with a bored expression to each other and leave, the scene changes to them talking in private.
Philip: Okay, so it wasn't him.
Chris: But what if he is lying?
Joseph: Makes sense, Chris, I read in a book that the culprit is always the first person interrogated.
Philip: Yes, but we don't want that OLD AND PAST CLICHÉ on our show, do we?
Philip and Chris look at the camera and then at Joseph with a sarcastic look.
Joseph: Okay!
Philip: Hmmm, I already know who we can interrogate next!
The scene changes to a close up on William with an angry expresion on his face, the screen then shows Chris, Joseph and Philip around him.
William: Why do you want to interrogate me again?
Philip: We don't know who we can interrogate next!
William: Why don't you go, like, I don't know, to the place where she bought the snack?
Philip: Hey hey hey, shhh, I'm the detective here!
Philip turns to Chris and Joseph and says.
Philip: Guys, let's investigate the place...
William: GO AWAY!!!!
The scene changes to a restaurant called McRat. Philip, Chris and Joseph are in front of it.
Philip (narrating): McRat, normally a nice, happy place, but today, it was a dark place, because all the lights we're out.
Joseph: Are you narrating?
Philip: Yeah! Super cool!
Philip (narrating): We entered McRat, there was nobody inside it today, probably because it was already closed and we broke in to get in there.
Employee: GET OUT OF HERE NOW! I SAID WE'RE CLOSED!
Philip: Helper, hold him!
Joseph grabs an refrigerator, puts the employee inside it and closes the door, he then wait 3 seconds and opens the door, showing the employee inside a giant block of ice only with his head free.
Philip: We want to ask you a few questions.
Employee: Ugh, ok, yes, the CheeseRat is made of rats, yes, they are sewage rats, but they are washed, they are clean...
Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!
Chris: I came here and bought a Fried Vole earlier.
Employee: Well, those are worse, they are made with...
Joseph: NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOUR SNACKS ARE MADE.
Employee: Good, because I REALLY didn't want to explain about the Chicken Sushi... I'll just say one thing, it's not chicken.
Joseph looks at the camera and at the Employee with a sad expression.
Joseph: I'm glad I don't eat here.
Philip: Okay, okay, enough talk, did you see someone strange here recently?
The employee takes a good look at the trio, who are making weird faces.
Employment: Yes.
Philip: ...
Philip: Alright! We're going, come on, helper, let him go.
Joseph hits the ice with a hammer and chisel, breaking everything. They go to the outside of the restaurant and sit on the sidewalk.
Philip: Let's interrogate some more people.
Chris: I know someone we can interrogate.
The scene changes to the Big Bad Wolf, hidden in a bush in the middle of a forest, watching a Little Red Riding Hood pass by.
Big Bad Wolf: Hmm, picnic basket, snack time.
Out of nowhere Joseph, Philip and Chris appear.
Joseph, Philip and Chris: STOP!
Big Bad Wolf: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?
Philip: Well, you know, mom loved dad a lot and...
Joseph: TOO MANY DETAILS!
Joseph comes closer to the wolf's ear.
Joseph: I came from a scientific experiment.
Big Bad Wolf: What do you want here?
Chris: YOU ATE MY SNACK DIDN'T YA?
Big Bad Wolf: What? What snack?
Joseph slaps the wolf.
Joseph: Another one who likes to ask.
Chris: You know what snack! We know you're a glutton, tried to eat 3 pigs and even ate an old lady once.
Philip: Chris! This show was supposed to be family friendly.
Joseph: Yeah right, look who's speaking, "Mr. Daddy Loved Mommy Guy".
Philip: Mine was a valid example.
Big Bad Wolf: LISTEN! I didn't eat any snacks, in fact, if you read my stories you can see that I always fail to eat anything.
Chris: Go on..
Big Bad Wolf: But I know someone who is rude enough to eat other people's food without asking.
Joseph, Philip and Chris: Who?
The scene changes to Goldilocks analyzing the bears' porridges.
Goldilocks: Too hot, too cold, perfect!
Joseph, Philip and Chris appear out of nowhere.
Joseph, Philip and Chris: STOP!
Goldilocks chokes on the porridge and spits it all over her face.
Goldilocks: AAAAAH, COUGH, COUGH, WHAT? WHAT?
Chris: So you like to eat things without permission, right! Did you eat my snack?
Goldilocks: No! No! I swear! I don't even know you! But... I know someone who likes snacks.
A montage with the trio interrogating other characters starts, firstly with them talking with Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, then Garfield, then Hansel and Gretel. The scene then changes to the tired trio seated in a couch in their house.
Philip: Who we still need to interrogate?
Joseph: Goku, Naruto, Greedy Smurf.
Philip (excited): Ooooh, did you say Naruto?
Chris: Oh, forget it, we'll never find out who ate my snack, let's just leave it behind.
Chris walks out and Joseph follows her.
Philip (mentally): Hmm, wait... behind?
A light bulb suddenly appears on Philip's head and he has an idea.
Philip: I GOT IT!
The scene then shows all previously interrogated characters and the trio in a room, Philip is standing in front of everyone while the rest is sitting in chairs.
Philip: Now, you must be wondering why I called you all here.
Joseph: We are not, smart guy, it is literally the plot of the whole episode.
Big Bad Wolf: And why do we need to be phere? We don't care about a stupid snack.
Philip: You are here because we need more people to play Among Us.
All previously interrogated people leave the room, only leaving the trio.
Philip: Rude people.
Chris: WHO STOLE MY SNACK!
Philip: Well, Chris, I was in doubt, but after you said "leave it behind" I remembered something! Who is the only person who can be everywhere at the same time, and is the only person who in all cartoons, comic strips, films and everywhere never eats?
Chris: Me.
Philip: The cameraman.
Chris and Joseph: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, what?
Chris: This is a text, we don't have a cameraman.
Philip: But here we have a NARRATOR!
Chris and Joseph: AAAAAAAAAHHHH.
What? How can he...
Philip: COME ON NARRATOR! I CAN SEE YOUR TEXT! ACTUALLY SHOW YOURSELF!
Narrator: What?
Philip: Admit it, before the episode started you saw the snack and decided to eat it.
Narrator: O-Of course not.
Chris: IT WAS YOU! I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU!
Narrator: Of course it wasn't me, I was... I... I was! I WAS!
Philip: You can't fool me, Narrator.
Narrator: Grrr, ALRIGHT, IT WAS ME! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Chris: No! We still have to find out who you really are.
Grr alright... I, the narrator, materialize myself in front of Chris, Joseph and Philip.
William: Here.
Chris, Joseph and Philip: William?
Philip: Wait, William, are you a narrator?
William: Just for this pilot, the normal narrator is sick today.
Joseph: The guy missed the first day at work.
Chris: It doesn't matter, TIME TO DIE, FOR MY SNACK!
Chris starts to fight with William like crazy, a cartoon fight cloud appears and they start to move around the room fighting! The scene changes to Joseph and Philip.
Philip: So wait, my logic was wrong! If the original narrator were working today, William wouldn't be caught.
Joseph: Well duuh, who puts together a random phrase and thinks that would solve a whole case that easily?
Philip: It works in the movies.
Joseph: Well, at least MY logic was right! I told ya it's always the first person to be interrogated, didn't I?
Philip looks angrily at Joseph and then at the screen, and shows a sign saying "Cliché ending, isn't it?"
1 note
·
View note
Text
Guardian of the Forest
This has been stewing in my Google drive for quite a bit. It's when you play tons of Digimon, binge watch Attack On Titan and have a love for Demon Digimon that resulted in this little story here.
She was punished from the unrighteous sin of another. His entire species caged in stone walls like sheep to the slaughter. Both refuse to accept their fate and it was time to strike back and rebel.
Monster. A word that has many meanings to describe something. A term often used for otherworldly creatures or those with peculiarities. Something that fit the Evil Digimon species. They were called Evil for they represented the demons, horrors and undead of legends. Demons, ghosts, ghouls and vampires are such a small sample amongst the variety. Yet, not all of them are actually evil.
They are called that mainly for their power to manipulate the element of darkness. Darkness to many was considered malevolent, vile and unneeded. On the opposite, Holy Digimon were considered pure and absolute good. They held angelic appearances and wielded the element known as light. Light to many was blessed, sacred and untainted. Yet, not all Holy Digimon were good.
Yet not many could look past the black and whites of the world. This led the innocent to be punished and the wicked to be rewarded. It was how many innocent Digimon were sent to the Dark Area or worse, deleted. Amongst them was a Granddracmon who was only trying to protect his young. A Holy Digimon with a heart darker than any abyss had struck the family with unequal hatred.
Clash between Mega Digimon was intense and devastating especially one as powerful as GranDracmon who are said to surpass many Demon Lord Digimon vastly in power. In the end, Granddracmon had been subdued and punished. Punishment? The youngest Digimon had the power of Digivolution taken from them and cast out of the Digital World trapped in the In-Training stage with no hope of surviving or returning home.
Yet, hope was something no one could manipulate or control. For it granted the impossible in unpredictable ways.
Shiganshina, the outer town of Wall Maria. Long ago, giant creatures resembling emerged all over the world. These beasts held unbelievably sturdy hides, near godlike regeneration and incredible size from a simple three meters to a towering fifteen meters. To animals, they leave them undisturbed and vice versa. However when it involved humans was where the horror laid.
These creatures hunt down humans and devour them with no emotion. The terrifying part? These beasts only did it for the kill not for substance or vendetta. It was for the kill and no more. It didn't take long for humanity to be pushed to the edge of extinction overnight. Survivors crafted three walls ranging from 50 meters and over to keep the creatures out and these creatures earned their name. Titans, for they only brought death and destruction.
Shiganshina was located in the first wall that was made, Wall Maria. It was where farmers, common folk and those who were considered low status dwelled amongst vast abundance of nature. One forest in particular was special amongst the others. The Legend of the Red Eye. The Red Eye was a mysterious creature that dwelled within the woods. It was called Red Eye for the large glowing red orb that emerged before it strikes.
Deer, wolves and even bears fell victim to its claws with all of their blood drained. Yet to a single boy amongst thousands of people wasn't afraid. Hair short and the color of dark chocolate with eyes as bright as emeralds but a soul that burned like fire. This child was Eren Yeager, son of Doctor Grisha Yeager. An act of bravery was what set the greatest ripple of all history.
The sound of footsteps and crunching of leaves could be heard as a young child barely 3 ft in height ran through the Red Eyed Woods. This child, Eren, was carrying an empty firewood container on his back and in his hand was a few rabbits freshly killed. "Hmm… She should be somewhere around here. Garnet! Garnet! Where are you?" Eren called as his youthful slight raspy voice carried out through the vast woods.
A large bright red glared at the boy from deep within the brush of brambles and leaves. Claws clicked in the sticks they grasped. When the child draws near, it leapt out at him. Eren only turned before being knocked to the ground by a bluish violet blur. The boy laid on his back as green orbs stared into a single large red orb. Pinning the child to the ground was a large violet blue hand like creature.
It was half the boy's size with two wispy antennas, small white claws on each leg and a single giant red eye on the front of its odd octopus/hand body. Though what was peculiar was that Eren had a small pin on his shirt shaped just like the red eyes beast. "Get off me Garnet! If I come home with scratch marks in my clothes again, mom will get very suspicious about what I been doing!" Eren yelled in annoyance.
"Sorry Erenmon. Garnet is just hungry." A childish little girl's voice came from the creature as it walked off the boy. "What do you expect from your large appetite? All that pigging out on bears lately got you triple the size of a normal Tsumemon!" Eren exclaimed as Garnet looked at him. "I can't help it. Not being able to digivolve screws up any Digimon's natural biology. Size is the only thing that has been keeping me alive and not some wolf's dinner." Garnet replied walking over to Eren.
It was actually comical on how the duo met. Eren was being chased by a wolf when he had accidentally walked into its territory. This wolf was the one that actually was being hunted by Garnet. It was an alpha predator hunting a predator who was stalking a potential prey. It ended with Eren throwing a stick at the furball causing it to trip and Garnet the chance to grapple the creature to feed on it. From then it was the beginning of their odd friendship and years of trading.
Eren would visit Garnet with animals he hunted. Then he would exchange it for something the Tsumemon found in the forest or help in tasks like wood gathering. It benefitted both parties for Eren would get stuff he could use or sell and Garnet got more food to eat or store. "Do you need anything while your here Erenmon?" Garnet questioned the child. Apparently adding -mon to someone's name was a sign of respect and endearment for the In-Training's point of view.
"Nah. I just thought of giving you some rabbits to eat today. You have been a big help lately considering dad's work has been going slow." Eren states giving said forest creatures to the Digimon. "Hey, you are my friend and friends help each other. Ain't the Scouts coming back today from their latest expedition? You don't want to miss it." Garnet said as Eren flinched. "Oh crap! You're right! Thanks for the heads up Garnet. I have to go before Mikasa finds out I disappeared." Eren exclaimed as the little Digimon chuckled.
"Go Erenmon! I 'see' you tomorrow!" Garnet giggled with an eye pun as Eren took off. "I wonder when he will ever introduce me to his friends. Though considering everyone's views on the Survey Corps and this Titan nonsense of late, he does have good reasons." Garnet said as she took her claws and dug them into the three bunny corpses. "Why do I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen?" The Tsumemon asked herself before feeding her on food's blood.
Survey Corps or Scout Regiment, it was a military faction dedicated to exploring the outside world beyond the walls. It also had the highest death count of over 40 percent each expedition. This regiment was the only one who also did research on the mysterious titans and it was thanks to them for what precious knowledge they had about the giants.
Many thought they were fools for there was barely anything to cover the massive loss of life per trip but this isn't what Eren saw. To him, the Scouts were the only ones looking for answers to forever ending the titan's reign but also the world they were forced to abandoned for these insufferable walls. Some of the many who didn't support the Scouts was Eren's own mother Carla Yaeger.
She absolutely despises the Survey Corps and couldn't help but belittle them with each chance she gets. Eren could remember the many times she has done so in double digits. It was that attitude that made their relationship rough but meeting Garnet had made it worse. Garnet doesn't insult or belittle his mother whenever they meet up.
She could understand her wanting Eren to be alive but attacking the only thing willing to fight for the better of their face miffed her like a bad itch. "Nothing is forever. There will come a time where these walls will fall. The Survey Corps are the only ones trying to find a solution. They chose to risk their lives for change. To make fun of them is disrespecting their sacrifice. No one should insult their cause or souls" Were her words exactly.
Garnet had not just supported the boy but also teach him skills that could help if he ever enlists in the military. She taught him how to mask his presence, observe his surroundings and develop a sixth sense for danger. Eren had kept his goal to join the Survey Corps secret from his mother. The only ones who knew other than him and Garnet were his foster sister Mikasa and his best friend Armin.
Though he didn't feel it was smart to tell Mikasa. Mikasa was adopted into their family when her parents were brutally murdered by slave traffickers. Her onyx hair and near solemn black eyes with the crimson scarf was the only thing to identify her amongst any crowd. Mikasa was overly protective which was something Garnet believed she needed to hold back on.
Eren easily agreed with the Digimon during his current situation. The Survey Corps had returned to the walls but this expedition was a bust so to speak. A lot of casualties and broken spirits amongst the group of soldiers. The worst was when a mother looking for her son amongst then was brought back his arm and told they didn't learn anything new. That it was a waste. He recognized the look in Mikasa's eyes from the scene and knew what happened next was something he didn't like.
'Traitor!' Eren screamed in his head as he ran from his home in a rage. Mikasa had told his secret to his mother and the reaction was one he expected for her. 'Get that idiotic thought out of your head! I won't let my son go out to get himself killed for something pointless!' His mother's voice bellowed at him. 'She doesn't understand! I don't want to live a life as a bird stuck in a cage! I want to go see what's out there and the answers it holds! We can't sit around or this nightmare will never end!' Eren thought trying to hold back tears.
He needed to do something. Anything to resist the urge to scream in rage and go berserk. He looked up to see a boy around his age being picked by bullies. Eren recognized this particular child as Armin from his sun yellow hair, blue eyes and skinny frame. Despite being frail, Armin was the smartest of the three. Eren was the trio's courage and Mikasa served as the powerhouse. "Leave my friend alone you bastards!" Eren howled before jumping into the fray. It wasn't anyone's day at all.
"Nail Scratch!" A tree limb was suddenly sliced into pieces as Garnet leapt past it. The Tsumemon had decided to up her training by working on her techniques. It was something she did so on the day Eren made it to the Scouts then she could support him in battle. Titans only had one weak spot which was located on the nape of their neck. Her Bubble attack would be useless in a fight but her Nail Scratch had the best chance of actually breaking through their tough hide.
"Alright! I sliced clean through that limb and it was twice as thick as the last one too!" Garnet cheered happily. The sun was beginning to set as Garnet faced the wall far from her home. She felt confused as something was tapping into her senses. Then her pupil shrunk and her antennae shot up in alert. "That aura…! Danger! Really really deadly! It's… a catastrophe in the making! Eren in danger!" Garnet hissed wildly as a giant bolt of lightning crashed down from the distance.
"Find Eren! I gotta find Eren!" She cried out before darting off in a frenzy of worry and desperation. It can take one thing to remind the last remnants of humanity of what kept them caged. Giant skinless fingers hung over the 50 meter as what belonged to it rose into view. The face of a skinless behemoth of a titan with a corpse like mouth and verdant eyes that only promised devastation looked down on the people of Shiganshina.
In an instant the outer gate between the outside and Shiganshina had exploded inward taking into the air. Debris rained from above crushing both people and buildings underfoot the pure terror was the soulless face of a 15 meter titan peeking its head through the breach. A mass of panic had broken out as Mikasa and Eren were trapped in the chaos. "Come on Mikasa! We have to find mom! Part of that gate went flying where our house is at!" Eren screamed as he ran with all his might.
Garnet amongst the panic was also searching for Eren. The Tsumemon wove through the crowd looking desperately for her friend while dispatching any Titans in her path. "Nail Scratch!" She cried out as her claws ripped through the nape of a 12 meter Titan who was about to grab a child. "*huff* That's 7 of them but no sign of Eren. Where is he?!" Garnet shouted. She looked to her right and saw what remained of Eren's house.
How did she know? The corpse of Eren's own mother peeked from underneath the tile roof specifically her hand. "She wasn't eaten since that roof obviously crushed her. Irony on how ones fear of being devoured is to be replaced with death by their own home. Yet, where's Eren?" Garnet questioned before her single eye laid on something that chilled her core.
In the hands of an ugly blonde 15 meter Titan was Eren! "No!" She screamed as she flew desperately towards her friend. Eren was fighting to break the monster's grasp on him but it merely ignored his attempts to the likeness of a fly. 'I'm not going to make it but I can't leave him!' The Tsumemon thought. 'If only I could Digivolve but that bastard took it away from me!' The thought made her want to scream.
A memory flashed through her mind. 'Hey. Do you have a name other than Tsumemon?' A young Eren asked the little Tsumemon. 'No. Tsumemon is the only thing I got. No one really gave me one.' Garnet replied. 'Do you want one? I think you deserve an actual name than something you share with your species.' The boy said as Garnet looked confused. 'Um, okay? What do you think my name should be?' The Tsumemon questioned.
'Um… I got it! I'll call you Garnet! It's this stone Armin showed me in his special book! It said that a Garnet represents a strong spirit and will of defiance! You fight against all the odds and still come out on top yet keep a level head! ' Eren explained as Garnet couldn't help but feel happy. 'Then call me Garnet.' The Tsumemon soon had a determined look on her face.
'I won't give up! Eren put his faith in me! I am a Garnet and Garnets always overcome every challenge! I don't need Digivolution because I have something better! A friend!' Garnet thought picking up more speed. "We are going to see what lies beyond these walls together. Eren… I'M NOT LETTING YOU DIE!!!" Garnet cried out with all her might as Eren felt her resolve. "Garnet!!!" Eren cried as he turned and reached out for his friend.
And at that moment, hope had brought forth a new power.
"Spirit Rebellion! Tsumemon EXEvolve to…!" The Tsumemon cried as a bright red light engulfed her in a brilliant flash. The sound of torn flesh pierced through the destructive chaos as boiling red splattered everywhere. The head of the 15 meter sailed through the air along with other pieces of its body before crashing into different parts of Shiganshina and even one piece splatting onto the wall.
Eren had opened his eyes that he didn't know he closed to find himself still alive. "What happened?" He asked before noticing the surface underneath him was red, furry and eerily shaped like a hand. "Erenmon, you're safe now." A soft, kind and exotic woman's voice spoke as Eren looked up in shock. Only one person called him Erenmon. Holding him gently in their hand was a centaur like creature.
It was around 20 meters and looked capable of carrying a 15 meter Titan on her back. The top half was human with gray skin and the face of a woman that was obscured by a dark blue eyeless mask, red straps, black belts, a blue bat shaped cowl that a beautiful carved garnet gemstone and dark red fur covered the top half of her body and chest, long curly blond mane of hair on her head and a spiralling tail of yellow hair, half black and half white bat like wings on her back, twin curled horns, razor sharp claws, a beautiful woman's face that held sharp fangs behind soft ruby lips.
Her bottom half could be described as something from hell. The bottom half was more wolf and bear like than horse from the bulk and talon wielding paws, two giant eyeless shark like heads snapped from the side of her front thighs practically big enough to swallow a 12 meter Titan's head in their jaws, back curled spikes behind each of her legs guaranteeing pain for those careless to strike and on her lower was some sort of horse armor with a sheath that made home to a sword with a black bat like hilt.
"Garnet...You digivolved…" Eren spoke breathless at his friend's incredible transformation. "I don't think this is Digivolution but it's something more powerful. EXEvolution..." Garnet answered. "EXEvolution… Garnet, is my mom?" Eren asked as Garnet couldn't help but shook her head. Tears welled up in the child's eyes as he looked ready to cry. "The house killed her from collapsing. She was dead on arrival. Though there are more pressing matters." Garnet explained as Eren looked at the madness around them.
"Garnet. We have to get everyone out of here. As much as I want to kill these titans, there are still people alive who need to be saved." Eren said wiping the tears from his face. "I'm with you partner. Do you wish to give this form a name before we begin?" Garnet asked facing her friend. "Yeah I do. No longer are we going to sit back and let these bastards trample our dreams! It's time to fight back! Let's show them your new power Garnet! The power of GranDracmon: Rebellion Mode!" Eren shouted with all his might.
"GranDracmon: Rebellion Mode… Yes! That'll do my friend! Time to break our chains and rebel!" Garnet declared as her twin shark heads roared in challenge. Hope can come in many forms and often comes in moments of rebellion. To rebel against fate is to prove yourself worthy to face the impossible. That is the power of EXEvolution. Something this beauty and cruel world will easily understand because of two spirits who fought against fate!
That's it! GranDracmon line is one of my favorite Digivolution lines other than Cherubimon Evil or Venommyotismon from the Demon Digimon family. EXEvolution is like an alternate version of Digivolution which I created to avoid being a complete hypocrite since quote on quote Garnet can't Digivolve.
Eren's pure hatred stemmed from watching his mother get eaten but since she died an alternate way, he's resolve is more towards saving others than 'I'm gonna kill all the Titans'. Plus GranDracmon Rebellion Mode is came from a dream along with the thought of it being badass with a Rogue Titan Eren riding into battle on Garnet like a badass.
That's it for now! Until next time, stay fresh!
#attack on titan#digimon#crossover#eren jaeger#tsumemon#grandracmon#aotxdigimon#au#shingeki no kyojin#eren yeager#mun sonicasura#oc#oc digivolution#fall of shiganshina au#sonicasura
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross 13
aka ‘Slow Down’; available to read on AO3 HERE
Story Synopsis: Some weird low-key occult parties start popping up that Steve can’t in good conscience ignore and takes it upon himself to investigate. Billy gets caught up in the consequences of his meddling, and isn’t it funny? For all the strange things the Upside Down has thrown his way, it’s werewolves that Steve has trouble accepting exist.
Chapter Word Count: 7216
Pairings: Eventual Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Genre: Supernatural/Suspense/Drama/Horror-ish
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Next Chapter: 14
Notes: SURPRISE!! its a SECRET DOUBLE UPDATE 'secret double update? what does it MEAN?' it means that, when i went back to re-read my story to make sure i was keeping on track for continuity purposes, i couldnt even get through the first chapter! it was just THAT BAD (imo), so i went back and re-wrote it entirely. it doesnt offer anything new in terms of plot, but boy howdy is it an upgrade to what it used to be. bless those of you who kept up with the story after reading that trainwreck
(this chapter update is dedicated to @pfandghoul bc they were my 100th follower here- THANKS BUDDYYYY) OH ALSO- i got a commission done of billy in the TERRIBLE OUTFIT (but with hair, bc i cant commission an artist like demonfleet and not have him draw those beautiful curls). PEEP IT HERE
-----
“Who else knows?”
Hopper’s voice, though sluggish and weighted with exhaustion, still carried with it a tone of seriousness that had Steve feeling prematurely guilty about the way the rest of the conversation was going to play out. He knew what Hopper was really asking; knew he wanted to hear confirmation that the kids weren’t somehow involved in any of this, and even though they weren’t, not yet, Steve still found himself turning his eyes away from Hopper’s authoritative stare, focusing his attention instead on the spot on the table where he’d been picking at the veneer absentmindedly. And although he knew the question was primarily directed towards himself, he let Billy answer.
“No one,” Billy said self-assuredly, a hint of surliness edging out with his tone as he exhaled a hot breath of smoke and leaned forward to stub his cigarette out in the ashtray centered between the three of them. He sat back in his seat with a grunt and a creaking of wood and promptly lit another.
Gathered in the Harringtons’ dining room- (the room itself being, remarkably, an equal point of pride to both of his parents)- the three of them sat gathered around the antique wooden table that served as a centerpiece, perched around its aged surface in differing states of dishevelment. Their collective exhaustion was as palpable as the smoke trails that had been gathering and circling slowly above their heads for the past ten minutes, in which Billy had chain-smoked three cigarettes down to the filter before either Steve or Hopper had had the chance to finish their first.
Sitting across from him, Steve could feel Hopper’s eyes, sunken and dark and weary, boring into him as he waited for his response to confirm what Billy had said.
“No one else knows,” Steve affirmed after a moment’s hesitation, in which he took a hard drag of his cigarette and exhaled with a long, drawn out sigh. He could feel the pressure of what he was going to say next catching in his throat before he cleared it and amended, “Well, not… not yet, anyway.”
“Yet.”
The repeated word dropped from Hopper’s lips like a dead weight, falling upon the three of them like a bomb. It broke whatever uneasy peace they’d managed to find in those few minutes where they’d all just sat smoking in silence, each of them trying to recover from the ordeals they’d endured over the night before reconvening to tackle them again. In its place, a taut, malevolent tension began to take form, and in it Steve could feel the enmity brewing against him.
“Yet,” Hopper repeated again, and this time there was anger in his voice. Steve winced reflexively, slowly turning his eyes up from where they’d been focused on the tabletop to meet his anger directly. “And what does ‘yet’ entail exactly, huh, kid?”
Steve opened his mouth to answer, but couldn’t force the words he wanted to use to explain out. Under Hopper and Billy’s stares, all the reasoning he’d had stored up for why he needed to at least tell Dustin what was going on left him. He could feel the trust his only two allies had in him turning into something dark and misconstrued as he sat there struggling to form a sentence, but was helpless to combat it.
“It’s not what you think-” he started to say, but was interrupted when Billy interjected by slamming his fist down hard upon the table, rattling the ashtray in its place and silencing him instantly.
“Well what the fuck is it then, Harrington?” There was such strong mistrust in Billy’s eyes when he spoke- mistrust and vehement anger, such that Steve could practically feel the foundations they’d laid in their almost-friendship crumbling apart. “Selling me out to this pig not enough for you? You trying to go national with this shit or something? What the fuck does ‘not yet’ mean?!”
“Hey! You need to calm down,” Hopper snapped, directing his ire towards Billy, who’d begun to rise out of his seat with each word spoken in anger. “Sit down and give him a chance to explain, alright?”
But he didn’t.
“Fuck that, and fuck you,” Billy said roughly, leering across the table at both Hopper and Steve. His stomach let out a low growl that momentarily stalled him long enough for Steve to intervene before he could say anything more.
“What the fuck are you talking about, ‘go national’? Do you even hear yourself, Hargrove?” Steve spat back, exasperated, tired, and unable to keep himself from matching Billy’s aggression when it was being thrust at him. He narrowed his eyes and took another hard drag off his cigarette before continuing, saying, “Who the hell do you think would even believe me? You think I’m just going to stroll into the Hawkins Post and try to sell them a werewolf story? ‘Oh uh, yeah, some douchebag I know turns into a big bad wolf during a full moon. You might wanna print that- warn the people! Billy Hargrove’s a more literal monster than we thought!’ I didn’t even believe in any of this crap at first, who do you think I could I possibly sell that to?”
The words came spilling out of Steve’s mouth before he could even think about what it was he was saying. He knew he’d fallen for another one of Billy’s taunts but couldn’t help himself; he refused to be painted as the villain in Billy’s fabricated scenario when he hadn’t even done anything yet, and certainly hadn’t been planning anything near as diabolical as selling Billy out to the country as some kind of freak sideshow act. Steve matched Billy’s glare evenly, half-aware of the way Hopper had groaned and run a hand down the length of his face. ‘You’ve really done it now, kid,’ his expression seemed to say.
Appearing taken aback, Billy seemed somewhat startled by the harsh words Steve had doled out to him. With a hand across his stomach, a small hint of vulnerability crossed over his features before he quickly reigned it back and pulled his lips back into a harsh snarl, his half-smoked cigarette dangling forgotten in the corner of his mouth to reveal at last what oral thing had been bothering him so much on the car ride over.
His teeth, Steve observed dumbly as he stared openly at the obstructions lining his mouth. Of course it was his teeth.
Thin, long, and all of them pointed, they looked more suited to what might be found in the muzzle of a large hound rather than in the mouth of a man. They were canine in nature, unnaturally fitted in his mouth where before his teeth had been straight and white and pristine, forming a smile so blindingly handsome it wasn’t always easy to look away.
“You’re right! You didn’t believe in any of this at first, but all it took was a little bit of proof to convince you though, right, Harrington?” Billy cooed smoothly after a moment, an eager look flashing in his yellow-blue eyes at the prospect of their argument turning into a physical fight in Steve’s parents’ dining room. “How much proof do you think it’d take to convince one shitty reporter in this hick town, huh? A mouth full of weird teeth? A broken arm that heals itself in, what, the span of two days? I mean, isn’t that what did it for you, Harrington? Witnessing this small little biological miracle of mine? Maybe that would do the trick. Could really blow the lid off of this one; might even be able to contribute something to your daddy’s legacy besides being a little piece of shit.”
“Enough!” Hopper’s voice burst from his throat, booming loudly in the condensed space. The suddenness of his outburst was enough to draw both Steve and Billy’s attention off of one another, though they were each reluctant to turn away. “You!” Hopper shouted, pointing one finger authoritatively at Steve, who sat and stared at him with a baffled look on his face, “Quit goading him on, goddammit. And you,” he continued, turning his command to Billy, “sit down and shut the hell up! He might be mouthing off, but you need to show this kid some damn respect for taking responsibility last night. He could’ve died going after you, do you understand that? He could have died for you.”
The weight of Hopper’s words had the exact impact he wanted them to. Steve turned away in embarrassment as a funny look crossed over Billy’s face. Confusion wormed its way through his anger, furrowing his brow and pulling his lips into a frown. It was a look Hopper had seen many times before when he’d been in the army, when soldiers who’d been at arms with one another were forced to let it go under the threat of punishment from their higher ups. It was a dark, begrudging sort of obedience fresh cadets endured when their commanding officers demanded they stand down when they weren’t quite ready to. With his momentum shaken, Billy’s look of anger slowly slipped into something a little more unreadable as he sank back down into his seat, muttering a quiet “Yes, sir” aloud as his stomach emitted another horrifically loud growl that everyone in the room ignored.
“Christ, I’m dealing with children here,” Hopper mumbled, kneading his fingers against his temple. He took a moment to take a deep breath of collection and lit another cigarette, flicking his lighter fruitlessly a couple of times before a spark struck and he continued speaking.
“Nothing said here leaves this house,” he said sternly, making sure to make and hold eye contact with each of them to stress the importance of his words. “This,” he said, gesturing vaguely to Billy with his freshly lit cigarette, “doesn’t go ‘national’; it doesn’t even go local, you got that? Whoever your ‘not yet’ applied to doesn’t get to know, so you can put the idea that you’re going to tell anyone else about any of this right out the window, understand?”
He looked sharply to Steve then, insisting in so many words that the children be left out of whatever they decided to do moving forward. Steve bit the inside of his cheek and looked away stubbornly, nodding once as he crossed his arms across his chest. He was aware of how he must’ve looked- like a spoiled, pouting child- but he couldn’t help it. Of course he understood; it didn’t take a genius to understand why this needed to be kept secret, but he still owed Dustin an explanation, and right now he figured he liked Dustin a hell of a lot more than he liked Hopper.
Hopper watched him with a scrutinizing eye, and, as though he could read Steve’s thoughts, said, “Let me hear you say it.”
“What?”
“Say you understand,” Hopper said quietly, ignoring for a moment the fact that Billy was sharing the space with them. He enunciated each word with gentle forcefulness, not issuing him orders now so much as silently begging for compliance. “The three of us can handle it. We don’t need for anyone else to get involved.”
The air in the room felt very still in that moment. The cigarette smoke that had been pooling above them like a pale cloud continued its slow and stagnant swirl, apathetic to the nature of their conversation. Staring at him, Steve once again felt guilty. After everything that the chief had done for him, he still couldn’t commit to the promise Hopper wanted him to make. He understood where his concerns were coming from, but Dustin was already involved, in a way. He sighed.
“Well, the thing is,” Steve began to say, nervously tapping his fingers against the table, “Dustin kind of already knows?” Hopper’s expression turned dark, as Steve had expected it to, but better he tell him now than for him to find out later. “I mean, I asked the kid to use his house! You were there; you dropped me off. I didn’t tell him for what, or WHO,” he said, shooting Billy a pointed look, “but he knows something’s up. It’s kind of obvious I was trying to use his cellar as a holding cell, and I promised I’d tell him about it once things settled down.”
Hopper exhaled a long and forlorn sigh, rubbing his face into his hands tiredly. “Could this get anymore convoluted?” he mumbled to himself before he looked up and locked his gaze onto Steve. “Fine. You promised to tell him about it, so you will.”
Confused, Steve shifted his attention from Hopper to Billy. “I will?”
“Yep.” Hopper blew out a long string of smoke. As he did so, the tension he’d held in the muscles of his face seemed to relax. “We’re going to double-down on your dog story. You’ll tell him you were dogsitting for one of your mom’s friends. Dog got loose, and you had to lure it back. Threw some meat down there to attract and trap it. I trust you to make up some details to fill in the gaps if he asks anything specific. You got that?”
Steve stared at him, knowing full well there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Dustin would ever believe that. And besides, Steve had already told him it was a red alert, but if this was what it took to get Hopper off his back, then, maybe it was fine.
“I understand,” he said, knowing he would, eventually, have to ask forgiveness for his future misdeeds.
“Good.”
Steve lit another cigarette and breathed it in deeply, hating how openly relieved Hopper sounded. He stole a glance towards where Billy was sitting with his own cigarette still hanging limply from his lips and felt that guilt compounded. He couldn’t say for certain what Billy must have thought of him at that point, but there was no way he’d have been able to keep helping him on his own, because Hopper was right: he had almost died last night. But with the worst of it over (he hoped), they could focus less on that and put their heads together to figure out what to do going forward.
Or, they could have, if Hopper’s hip radio hadn’t begun to crackle in that exact instance, releasing a string of police-coded jargon through the speaker. They all collectively jumped a little at the startling noise as the dispatcher (Florence’s voice, Steve recognized) requested Hopper’s aid in assisting his deputies with something he couldn’t decipher.
“Great,” Hopper mumbled to himself, stubbing out the cigarette he’d hardly been able to enjoy. If possible, he looked even more tired than when he’d walked in. “Yeah, I copy,” he said into the radio as he unlatched it from his belt. “I’ll be there soon; give me a few minutes to wrap it up here and I’ll meet them at the scene.”
He clipped the small receiver back onto his belt before coming to a stand, groaning in a way that was similar to Steve’s dad when he’d been sitting down for too long.
“You’re leaving?” Steve asked as he watched Hopper collect his hat and place it haphazardly on his head.
“Duty calls,” Hopper grunted noncommittally. He pulled on the coat he’d left on the back of his chair and zipped it up to the collar. “I had a few of my boys start investigating a lead for me. A small one, but if they’re calling me out there, it means they’ve found something, and hopefully it’ll help us settle all this a little more quickly.”
“But we haven’t made a plan for what to do the next time this happens,” Steve said concernedly. He felt exhausted beyond his years, but none of their major issues had been solved or even discussed yet. “We haven’t talked about what we’re supposed to do at all.”
“Next time?”
Steve turned from Hopper to Billy, who’d spoken softly and, despite having looked enraged only moments before, now appeared confused.
“Well, yeah,” Steve said, flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette into the ashtray, “this is like, a monthly thing for you now, right? Kind of like a girl when she gets her-”
“Don’t fucking say it,” Billy growled. Steve shrugged, unbothered.
“...but only for a day instead of like, for a week,” he finished, feeling a little bit of self-satisfaction at the way Billy cringed and groaned.
“God fucking dammit Harrington.”
“You were the one who showed me the movie though,” Steve said, shifting the subject easily to skirt around Billy’s annoyance. Hopper lingered by the dining room’s opening, hearing out the tail-end of Steve’s concerns. “It didn’t end for him after one month; he was like, doomed to keep turning every full moon forever or something, right? Isn’t that how werewolves work, and doesn’t that, y’know, kind of include you now?”
A dawning look of horror spread across Billy’s pale face as he made the connection. He blinked once, let the long trail off ash fall off his cigarette onto the table, and looked away, dazed, as though the thought of having to relive last night’s nightmare hadn’t occurred to him before.
“What do you mean, next time?” Hopper asked, parroting Billy’s earlier confusion. “You saying he’s liable to... turn again?”
Steve nodded somberly. “We can’t use Dustin’s house again; he escaped way too easily, but I guess we have a month to prepare, so it’s not critical right now or anything,” he explained, to which Hopper acknowledged him with a low hum. “But we still definitely need a plan for next time.”
“Leave it to me, kid; I might have something I can make work,” Hopper muttered. His eyes were unfocused as he turned and began to leave, already mentally trying to work out the specifics of whatever it was he had in mind. “Remember,” he called back once he’d reached the front door, his haggard voice echoing down the short hall, “nothing said here leaves this house.”
He didn’t wait for affirmation before departing. From the dining room they heard the soft click of the front door as it opened and shut, leaving Billy and Steve alone in the dining room. Turning in his seat to look out the front-facing windows, Steve watched Hopper get into his truck and start the engine, noting the way he let his head hang briefly for a moment before he perked up to back out of the driveway. And then he was gone.
A wave of exhaustion overcame as he sat there, eyeing the empty space where Hopper’s truck had been. He was hungry, tired, and wanted nothing more than to just be able to sleep forever, but as long as he was needed, that wasn’t likely to happen. His role as caretaker was ever-expanding, and now, it seemed to include Billy as well.
Hopper had managed to hold the peace between them (though barely) while he’d been there, and Steve couldn’t presume to know how things were going to go now that it was just him and Billy again. As he turned back in his seat and finished off the rest of his cigarette, he realized that whatever aggression Billy had been harboring towards him was gone.
“Next time,” Steve heard him mumble to himself. The dejected manner in which he spoke was so unlike himself that he was reminded of the way he’d been behaving the day before, as though he could no longer find his own self-worth. Billy took the cigarette that had been hanging off his lip and held it in his hand, staring at the dimly glowing cherry before looking up to catch Steve’s eye to say, “I don’t think I can go through that again.”
He said it with such vulnerable honesty that Steve found he didn’t know how to respond. His own self-worth took a hit as guilt and pity began to rise within him as he stared back at Billy, hating that he didn’t know what to say. It felt wrong to try and supply him with empty assurances when he had heard firsthand and seen the aftermath of how painfully debilitating the transformation had been. There was nothing he could say that could possibly begin to alleviate the horror that came with knowing it was going to come and afflict him again and again, month after month, for the rest of his life.
What sort of consolation could he possibly offer him?
“C’mon,” Steve eventually said, depositing the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray as he scooted his chair back to stand up. Billy watched him with an exhausted, yet vaguely sorrowful expression that Steve decidedly didn’t like. “I’ll show you the bathroom.”
Well, at least he could offer him a shower.
-----
Steve could hear the shower running by the time he came back up the hall with a fresh towel in hand, but Billy wasn’t yet locked inside the bathroom. He was leaning up against the wall beside the bathroom door, arms folded across his chest and eyes closed, dozing off while he waited for the water to warm up. As Steve approached, he noticed that, while Billy had taken off the bloody ruination of his old shirt, he still had Mrs. Henderson’s ugly bathrobe loosely tied around his waist.
Billy cocked one eye open when he heard him come close, and mutely traded the shirt for the towel when Steve offered it to him. Neither of them spoke as the exchange was made; a silence broken only by the sound of spraying water hitting the shower tile forming between them until Steve found it too unbearable to withstand.
“So,” he started to say, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “about before… I, uh, really shouldn’t have, y’know, said what I did about you being a monster.”
From his position against the wall, Billy frowned.
“I was just caught up in the moment,” Steve continued apologetically. “And I know that doesn’t like, excuse my actions or whatever, but it was still a shitty thing to say.”
As he opened both of his eyes, Billy found that Steve was looking everywhere but directly at him, and in fact had taken to looking at his own reflection in a decorative vase while he’d been talking. It was awkward; he was starting to feel uncomfortable about the sincerity Steve was trying to convey.
“I don’t give a shit, it’s not like it bothered me,” Billy lied, speaking tersely. His stomach growled, and he placed a hand over it idly. “Trust me, I’ve been called worse things than that.”
Steve’s shoulders slumped a bit as he worried the back of his hair into a knot. “Still,” he said awkwardly, finally turning away from the dark reflection of the vase, now absentmindedly trying to pull his fingers free, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes towards the ceiling, Billy huffed out a deep sigh and said, “Look, Harrington, if you’re willing to make me some pancakes and fry up some bologna we can call it even. Just, stop doing… whatever this is and let me shower.”
Steve paused to think about it. “Sure, okay, I can do that. I think we’ve got some pancake mix somewhere.”
With that awkward bit of conversation out of the way, Billy eased up off of the wall he was perched upon and slid into the bathroom before Steve could make any sort of addendum and closed the door. He listened to the sounds of Steve’s retreating footsteps down the hall over the pouring water as he undid the tie around his hips and left the beanie on the sink counter, decidedly not looking in the mirror as he stepped into the strong, warm stream.
-----
Billy stayed in the shower for a long, long time.
Steve hadn’t really been expecting it to be a quick one, but still, as he stood over the stove making a tall stack of pancakes that would’ve been enough to satisfy the stomach of any starving man, he wondered just how long he needed. The water had to have been going cold by now.
The smell of the bologna frying in the pan had, at first, encouraged his appetite, but was now starting to turn his stomach. The smell of bologna alone had never been appealing to him, and to have to smell it as it cooked was nauseating. He cut off the stove, transferred the fried meat to a serving plate, and then sat at the kitchen table to wait.
He nibbled a little at a pancake, but couldn’t stomach the smell of the bologna well enough to finish it off. He waited at the table patiently, like a mother might when she was waiting for her kids to come down and eat and strained his ears to listen for when the water shut off upstairs.
It didn’t, though. He could hear it trickling down through the pipes in the walls, quietly draining away whatever it was Billy was trying to cleanse himself of.
Steve sighed miserably and folded his arms over the table, sliding the chair back far enough so he could rest his head over them like he used to in English. He closed his eyes (‘Just resting my eyes’, as his dad was prone to saying before he fell asleep on the couch), and soon found himself asleep.
-----
In a dream, it was snowing and he was driving, speeding along a narrow, unfamiliar road.
‘Faster’, he was thinking to himself as he depressed the accelerator harder. ‘I have to go faster.’
A deep, dark blackness enveloped him from all sides outside of the car. He couldn’t see through it or if anything was in it, even though he knew, intrinsically, that he had his high beams on and should have at least been able to see where he was going. The road before him manifested as a slick black line, wavering in and out of focus between his rapidly swishing windshield wipers and the oncoming flurry.
He was in a hurry, though he didn’t know why. Billy was fine. Sitting in the passenger seat beside him, he looked almost bored with Steve’s pedestrian effort to save him.
“I’m doing my best,” Steve said, unsure of why he was now crying. “I’m going as fast as I can- please, please just understand that.”
“You haven’t done enough,” Billy responded in a voice that both was and wasn’t his own. It hurt Steve’s ears to listen to as he whimpered involuntarily. “I’m already lost.”
Alarmed, Steve took his eyes off the road to look at Billy and found him looking back. His eyes were a dark, glowing red, and he sat with his hand perched on the door handle. In the window behind him, red eyes that mirrored his own were slowly emerging from the darkness, coming so close to the car that the glass was beginning to fog up from its panting breath. How it was able to keep pace with the car when Steve had the accelerator pressed against the floor was unknown and frightening to him.
“Don’t,” Steve begged as Billy’s fingers curled around the handle, getting ready to pull it open like an emergency exit, “I can still help you.”
“I’ve been lied to before,” Billy said solemnly, his two-toned voice warbling as he pulled on the handle and opened the door to give himself over to the creature that was waiting hungrily by the window.
-----
“The fuck is this?”
Steve opened his eyes abruptly and nearly fell out of his seat as he transitioned into a wakeful state. Startled, he sat up and rubbed at his eyes uncomprehendingly.
“They’re just pancakes, Hargrove, don’t be rude,” he said sleepily without fully realizing what it was Billy was talking about. “Misshapen, maybe, but still just pancakes.”
Freshly showered, Billy stood before him wearing the beanie taken from Dustin’s house and some of Steve’s own clothing. An old ‘Hawkins High Phys. Ed.’ shirt clung tightly to his torso, baring a little bit of midriff above the hem of some old sweats. In his hand he held Steve’s two-way radio Dustin had gifted him to include him as part of their party, and through that radio he could hear Max’s voice trying to make contact.
“Steve, come in, Steve! Are you there?”
“Why do you have a two-way radio to my little sister sitting by your bed?” Billy asked icily, unabashed anger seeping out of his very being.
“What the hell were you doing in my bedroom?” Steve countered, feeling his stomach drop when he came to understand the implications Billy was making. He stood up and made to swipe the radio from Billy’s hand. “It’s seriously not what you think.”
“Remind me, where have I heard that one before?” Billy pulled the radio easily out of Steve’s reach, glowering at him as they faced off. “This looks pretty fucking bad for you, Harrington; she’s not even fifteen yet, you sick fuck.”
“It’s not just for your sister,” Steve said heatedly, then, realizing how that sounded, amended by saying, “Look, I know you know I take care of her friends- this, it’s just- it’s just a radio to communicate with them, alright? They’re weird nerds who don’t like to use phones like normal people. It’s not for anything as dirty as you’re imagining, so would you quit looking for reasons to hate me when I haven’t even done anything?”
Sighing, Steve ran a hand through his hair and reached out for the radio, silently asking for it to be handed over. Billy continued to hold it, staring at him with an indecipherable look on his face. They stood at odds with one another before Dustin’s voice came through the radio speaker.
“Steve! It’s Dustin, we have a situation- please advise. Come in, Steve! Over!”
Billy looked at the radio in his hand and then at Steve with a scowl. He looked bored as he finally relinquished it without further fuss, sitting down at the table opposite of Steve and pulling the plates of food towards him. He gave him a mean look as he began sandwiching the fried slices of bologna between a couple pancakes before biting into them.
Relieved and annoyed, Steve turned away to speak into the radio. “I’m here, I’m here, sorry, what’s up?”
“Oh my God, it’s about time!” Dustin huffed. “You said you’d radio me later and you never did! Over.”
“Some stuff came up,” Steve mumbled, sitting down at the table and rubbing at his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Will,” Dustin explained. Steve frowned. “He says he saw something last night that might have to do with the Mind Flayer-”
“Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on a second,” Steve interrupted quickly, casting a furtive glance towards Billy who was now watching him suspiciously. “I’m uh, I’m not alone over here.”
There was silence on the radio after Steve let up on the talk button. Billy squinted at him and mouthed ‘it’s not what you think’ sardonically at him. Steve sighed and shrugged; there wasn’t an easy way to explain this.
“I swear Steve, if you’ve been ignoring us because you’re with a GIRL-”
“No!” Steve exclaimed in frustration. Why did it seem like everyone was against him today? “I’m not- I’m not with a girl; haven’t even been with a girl since-”
“Oh, Steve,” Billy chirped in an ugly, high falsetto, speaking loudly enough for the radio to catch and relay his voice clearly. “Quit playing with that toy and come back to play with me.”
Horrified at Billy’s poor impression of a girl, Steve turned to face him with a look of shock.
“What the hell is your damage Hargrove? You know they probably heard that,” he hissed as he let took his finger off the talk button. “Why do you constantly have to prove yourself as being the biggest thorn in my side? Can’t you hop off my dick for five fucking minutes?”
Billy snickered and laughed, clearly satisfied with himself. He shot him a wink when Steve turned up his middle finger at him and bit down on another one of his weird bologna/pancake amalgamations.
“Was that Billy?”
Max’s voice. Both Steve and Billy froze as she called them out, sharing a mutual look of horror at having been recognized.
“Steve? Why are you with Billy?”
“Uh.” Wide-eyed, he looked to Billy for help in answering, but was met with nothing but a look of shock. They both floundered for a moment, during which Billy took the chance to shove more food in his mouth as though to say he was currently preoccupied and couldn’t be assed to help explain. “It… wasn’t?” Steve finally answered lamely.
A strong silence permeated over the radio before it crackled and relayed Max’s voice as she said, “Steve, he’s made fun of me plenty of times that I’d know his ‘I’m a dumb girl’ voice from anywhere.”
Steve groaned and threw Billy a dirty look, to which he received a simple shrug in response. It wasn’t supposed to have been a secret, exactly, but his children knew the history between them just as well as he did and he’d eventually have to explain to them just how they’d come to be together sooner or later. “Alright, yeah, I’m with your brother. He’s at my place.”
“Step-brother,” Billy corrected gruffly, wiping away some crumbs from his mouth.
“Can he hear me right now?” Max asked.
“Uh,” Steve said. “Yeah, he can hear you,” he replied after Billy gave him the go-ahead.
“Don’t come home.”
At first, Steve thought she’d said it out of anger, or spite, or something. It was vague enough that it could have been construed that way (especially with how flatly she’d spoken), but the look on Billy’s face made it clear that it was less a threat and more a warning, of sorts. He stopped chewing his food, eyebrows coming together as he frowned deeply. That vaguely sorrowful look that had crept up around his eyes from before surfaced in his features again as he stared ahead of himself.
“Message received?” Steve asked quietly, unsure of how to process his change in demeanor, to which Billy gave a brief, curt nod. He shoved the plates of food away and sat back with a forlorn expression on his face. “Message received,” he repeated into the radio. “Could you uh, put Dustin back on? Who all’s over there with you guys?”
There was a moment of silence in which Steve pictured the radio changing hands. While he waited for a response, he pulled the dish with the pancakes on it closer towards himself and made a second attempt at eating one.
“The whole party’s here, Steve. We have a situation that requires your assistance, over.”
“Yeah, I remember,” he said through a mouthful of soft food. “Not to be like, dismissive about it, but is there any chance it can wait? I’m kind of… ‘booked’, for the rest of the day; we can have, like, a group meeting and discuss things in person tomorrow, if it’s not urgent.”
He was careful not to mention how he planned on sharing Billy’s situation with them if they agreed, given how angry he’d been about the prospect earlier. It didn’t look as though Billy was paying him much attention at that point, however, as he stood up somberly and walked out of the dining room without a word, no longer interested in eavesdropping on his conversation. Steve wanted to follow after him to make sure he didn’t go anywhere he wasn’t supposed to, but stayed still and finished off the pancake he’d been eating.
“He says it’s not dire; just wanted us to be aware that something might be fucky. You wanna meet up with us tomorrow afternoon at Mike’s house? Over.”
“Sure, that’s fine,” Steve replied. He waited a moment to see if Billy was going to return, and when he was certain he wasn’t going to, he dropped his voice to a whisper and said, “I need you to do me a small favour before then, Henderson.”
“Oh my God, Steve, seriously? Another one? Over.”
Ignoring the indignation with which Dustin spoke, Steve continued. “I need you to research werewolves for me, alright? Like, specifically if it can be cured. Can you do that for me?”
“Uh, I mean, sure? Why though? Does this have something to do with our campaign? Over.” The fact that Dustin was so suspicious caused a little grin to spread out across Steve’s face. In spite of everything, leave it to Dustin to find a way to route it all back to the game he’d gotten him involved with.
“I’ll let you know tomorrow,” Steve said, unable to keep a teasing lilt from affecting the tone of his words. “And uh, just so you know, I’ll probably be bringing Max’s brother along, so don’t freak out if he shows up. Over and out, nerd.”
“Oh, now you decide to start using-”
Steve switched the radio off abruptly before Dustin could finish his sentence and set it face down on the surface of the table. He sat still for a moment, feeling his earlier exhaustion swirling within him like a snowglobe before he stood up and wandered out into the living room. He found Billy lying splayed out on the couch, eyes closed and resting easily atop the cushions.
“Just make yourself at home, why don’t you,” Steve said dryly, to which Billy gave a noncommittal grunt. “Do you, uh, need a place to stay tonight?” he asked awkwardly when he understood that Billy wasn’t going to move from his position.
Opening his eyes, Billy stared straight up at the ceiling with a stern look on his face.
“I can stay with Tommy H. if it’s a problem,” he said after a minute.
“I don’t really care what you do,” Steve replied, placing a hand on his hip. “But he’d ask questions, you know. You don’t really… look like how you should.” Billy heaved out a long and depressive sigh, shutting his eyes again. “It’s fine, though- you can stay in the spare bedroom upstairs,” Steve offered.
“Couch is fine,” Billy mumbled.
“You’d be missing out, it’s got a Queen-size mattress up there.”
“Couch is fine,” Billy repeated tiredly.
Steve shrugged. “Suit yourself, I guess.” He studied Billy laid out flat across the couch and felt that familiar need to show him pity. He couldn’t help but wonder what Max’s warning applied to; wondered if Billy would tell him about it if he asked.
“You were right about what you said before.” Billy’s voice was soft with exhaustion, but even so, it managed to break into his thoughts. Steve gave him a look of incomprehension. “About my hair, you were right; it’s coming back.”
“Oh,” Steve said, refraining from tapping into his inherent desire to chirp ‘I told you so’ back at him. “That’s great, man. I knew it would.”
“Still paler than the underside of a witch’s tit though,” Billy muttered, holding up a hand to examine his new complexion morosely.
And, yeah, he was right: even though it seemed his hair was going to be restored to its former glory (given enough time), it didn’t look like the same could be said for his skin. He was still woefully pale, looking less like the golden god he’d been before and more like, as Billy had said, the pale underside of a witch’s tit. Steve eyed him contemplatively, trying to come up with a solution that didn’t involve him laying naked out in the snow to try and catch some sun.
“Do you remember Tammy Thomspon?” Steve asked eventually, to which Billy had to pause in order to connect the name with the person being referenced. Once he’d nodded, Steve continued. “She always had a tan year round; used to talk about how she’d go to like, tanning beds and stuff.”
“I am not going to a tanning salon, if that’s what you’re suggesting here Harrington,” Billy said decisively.
“No no! She used to do tanning beds, but then she kept talking about how they were unhealthy and caused skin cancer and blah blah blah. Before the semester ended though, she said she started using some new thing; she was telling me about it in History before the final,” Steve elaborated, stepping further into the room to take a seat on the armrest of the couch. He snapped his fingers as he tried to remember what it was. “It was like, some spray on stuff? A spray-on tan, I think. You could try that? Wouldn't even have to go anywhere to get it done, I think it’s sold retail.”
Billy appeared lost in thought as he contemplated the option. He flexed his pale fingers and heaved another heavy sigh. “Anything would probably be better than this.”
‘You don’t- I mean, it’s not… you don’t look that bad,” Steve lied. Billy put his hand down and glared at him from the far end of the sofa. “Alright alright, so you look like the white end of a fingernail. We get some spray tan, rinse you in it, and presto, you’re back to being average, dark and handsome. I mean, if Tammy Thompson can do it, it shouldn’t be that hard, right?”
Billy snorted. “Handsome, huh? Probably not; she was as dumb as the rest of the cows here.”
“She wasn’t the brightest light in the shed,” Steve agreed, feeling the slightest bit embarrassed at having called Billy handsome. “But, cool; glad we got something sorted out today.
“I’ll be in my room if you need me for anything, and I know you already know where that is,” he said as he came to a rise, casting a snide look at Billy before heading back towards the staircase.
Predictably, Billy clicked his tongue in annoyance. “You realize you only gave me a towel earlier, right? I wasn’t about to put that thing on again. I wasn’t snooping; just trying to find a fucking change of clothes when I heard Maxine yelling for you on your shitty bedside table radio,” he said in that easy, drawling nature of his. “What was I supposed to think?”
“Why don’t you try thinking a little less and just ask instead of jumping to conclusions?” Steve huffed. He hadn’t wanted this to turn into another argument, but it seemed as though the conversation was quickly heading that way. “Look, I don’t- I’m too tired to argue with you. I’m gonna catch a nap and then we can like… I don’t know. Get some bottles of spray tan and hose you down in the backyard or something.”
Billy grunted in affirmation, and Steve was content to leave it at that. He shot Billy one last look before he stepped out of the living room, and, leaving the food out on the table where he’d left it, went straight up to his room. Like the condition he’d left Dustin’s cellar in, he’d clean up the dining room later.
As he entered his room, Steve was afraid, for a moment, that he’d find evidence of Billy having gone snooping through all of his belongings. It would’ve been just like him to try and find something else he could use to hold against him while Steve was unaware, but as he looked around the area carefully, it seemed as though his room appeared untouched. His closet was left open from where Billy had gone in to take the clothes he was currently wearing, but, true to his word, it didn’t look like he’d rifled any deeper into it then he’d needed to.
Relieved, Steve stepped forward until he was toe-to-hem with his bed and let himself fall face forward directly onto the mattress, exhaling a deep sigh once he collided with it. He laid there unmoving, breathing in the hot, trapped air between his face and his comforter before he rolled over and laid himself out spread-eagle to look up at the ceiling.
“Why does this have to be so much harder than it is?” he groaned, cupping his hands together to cover his face. The familiar question he’d wrestled with of ‘why me?’ that he’d been struggling to answer since any of this started began cycling through his mind. Of course, now that he had time to rest, his brain wouldn’t let him.
He just wanted to help, and already he’d almost lost the trust of the only two people he could rely on. Neither of them seemed to understand that it was too great a burden for one person to have to shoulder alone. It needed to be a team effort, but no one seemed willing to branch out and make it one. Once again, it was left to him to take the initiative.
“Why is it so hard for me to help anyone in this damn town?” he moaned.
#harringrove#harringrove fic#billy hargrove/steve harrington#billy x steve#billyxsteve#billy/steve#steve harrington#billy hargrove#werewolf!billy#slow burn#long fic#canon compliant au#stranger things#stranger things fic
1 note
·
View note
Note
3, 4, 6, 9 for Guarded Hearts 😙
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?--This part from Part 1: “Bastien smiled and looked over at her. The lights of the bridge illuminated her face and made her blonde hair seem to glow. He reached over for a lock of her hair, turning it over in this fingers. She stepped closer to him, nearly touching him but not quite. With his free hand, Bastien traced along her jawline with her fingertips. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips in the moment before he kissed her. Alice closed her eyes, sinking into the kiss. She couldn’t have said why, but even knowing they’d just met, even knowing he was leaving, she felt something click.” I think I like it so much because it’s the moment when they first start to fall for each other, even though Alice and Bastien are both unwilling to admit that they’re falling so hard and so fast for someone they met only hours earlier.
4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?-- I’d have to say the version of “The Three Little Pigs” that Drake tells Alice in Part 25 because it made me laugh when I wrote it. I love the idea of Bertrand as the big bad wolf and Olivia as the third pig who takes him down 😂
6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?--This is by far the longest fanfic series I’ve done but it also feels like the most involved. Because I’m following the whole TRR series, there’s so much ground to cover and I’m exploring more of the side stories rather than just focusing on the main conflict.
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?--Not really. I’ve considered a lot of different ideas about what pathway this is going to take (and I just came up with new inclusions today), but the general idea of following Bastien and Alice through the TRR series has stayed consistent. However, I originally toyed with the idea of Alice starting another relationship while she and Bastien are apart (I wasn’t originally going to have them get back together until after the homecoming ball), but that ended up not fitting very well with the characters and overall story arc.
Thanks for the ask!
Questions for Fanfic Authors
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ice Floes
Quickly, before we begin: 1. this is a mostly-true anecdote that ties together several different, ideas I’ve had in the last two-ish days, including... 2. There are no ice floes here, it’s a reference to senecide in certain cultures (rarely practiced in Norhern Tribes and never practiced in the usual, “Send Grandma floating away on a chunk of ice!” way).
So, the first concept idea for this pieces my younger brother, Andy, who is working this summer s a fire-spotter in Idaho and/or Montana (he’s stationed in a national park that covers really big portions of both states). This is a cool, Norman Maclean manly-man style job for a grad student, and we were all fairly certain Andy would like his job (which, as a per-diem, is hard to beat, I’ll admit), and we’d all love to drop in and say hello, except I’m in very specific chemo ward 3-4 times a month (and that last week when I don’t have chemo, I still have to get them to draw my blood and run labs), so my schedule’s a little hard to work. And I started joking that, with our family’s luck, Andy would wind up in someplace with a name like ‘Dead Man’s Gulch” or “Rattleasnake Ridge” (remember that line) that we’d just as soon not bother with. Well, parents won’t be discouraged, so Dad’s thinking he might scratch off a bucket list item AND visit Andy... by backpacking to him (or near him). Which, even though he’s a nut for the treadmill, is not exactly the first phyisical task you’d nominate Dad for if you saw him in person. However, he’s decided to start training to address that very problem. Also, Andy’s fire station is somewhere in the Rattlesnake Mountains. I’m absolutely not making that up, Also, since my more-twisted jokes are apparently reshaping reality in their wake, I’d like to joke that I’ll be a multi-gabillionaire in a few years after someone reclassifies these scribbles as science-fiction.
One of the issues/questions I’m faced with all the time (aside from, “Why did we catch you tying truck nuts to Deputy Pierson’s police vehicle*?”) is how much of my time I really do devote to staying healthy and managing your disease/prescriptions/insurance/appointments. The short answer is, almost all of it. I know I spent a post last week essentially boasting how healthy I was, apart from having Stage IV cancer. What’s important is to know is that I take a weird sort of pride in that, and, as Dad has pointed out, in most cancer cases, the death/survival rate refers to elderly people who have other diseases or health issues in addition to cancer; he hasn’t heard of patients who get chemotherapy, then go for a 3-hour leg day the next day (I’d point out that having a pediatric cancer - as I did, sort of (another brain tumor) has serious long-term health implications for survivors, and now that I’m having toxic sludge pumped through me on regular basis has a few more long-term associated-problems that I’d like to avoid. The point is, it is slowly starting to dawn on me that he might have a point, and I’m definitely doubling down on that bet, too. Which Dad knows, and knows I’ll be up for any dangerous stunt, as long as there’s even a minor probability of increased healthfulness. Which is why Dad and my step-mom invited me on Dad’s inaugural training hike; The Path of Pain (that’s not the official name, but it’s more accurate than the real thing). Now, bit of context; it’s not true that the Inuit would kill people by putting them on an ice flow and then sending them off. What is accurate - from my sources - is that in times of famine, some Northern tribes (probably including the Inuit) would suddenly decamp in the middle of the night without telling Grandma and Grandpa. effectively leaving them to the mercy of the elements and luck/fate (to be fair, if the grandparents made it to the new camp, they were honored and informed of all future camp locations). So, I was aware of this when the following conversation occurred: SELF: This hike isn’t one of those obscure traditions where you’re going to leave the sick, infirm, and old - the societal deadwood, if you will - out in the elements to save the rest from starvation or something, is it? DAD: No. Why, are you worried we’d leave you behind? SELF: Nope, just stating - on behalf of the ill - that I have absolutely no intention of being out-distanced by the old just so I can be dire wolf bait. Also, I am absolutely prepared to lie and cheat in the name of that goal. Other people probably have better father-son chats. Other people are boring.
So, before I start describing the festivities - which involve a severe and horrifying betrayal - I might need to describe my disability status, and disability as it stands. GBM diagnosis is an automatic disability according to social security, because of that whole “really, really, high fatality rate and incredibly fast progression (although I’m okay now - I think, maybe - when I fist met Radiation Oncologist, she said the tumor had a 20% growth rate, which means it would double in size every five or so days - I shudder to think how bad, how quickly that could’ve gotten). And, even though I’m mostly-fine at the moment, for the first two weeks after my neurosurgery, I couldn’t walk. This was because I was completely numb on my left side for that time. Remember the last time you got a cavity filled and the dentist used novocaine? Imagine that sensation - or lack thereof - throughout your left side. Walking was a problem because I had no idea where my feet were (unless I was looking). I’ve come a long, long way since then, but that was not even eight months ago (before anyone asks, after a rather dismal showing by the physical therapists at the hospital, I haven’t been doing anything special to recover, other than exercising like my life depends on it). So, testing it on a steep, dangerous slope seemed bright.
Those of you who’ve been hiking with me probably have no trouble picturing the image. I don’t exactly skip up paths, but I do power through them the same grim, pig-headed determination that I’m bringing to the rest of this damned disease. The peak in question is about 1500 ft - not a prize-winner, to be sure, but it’s not a bad accomplishment for someone who couldn’t even go 150 feet not too long ago.
Now, with that smirking sense of triumph and gold star accomplishment, imagine my dismay when my wicked step-mother announced that this wasn’t the goal of the hike, the actual peak we were looking for was... 22 miles away. Okay, so that’s a bit of an exaggeration, the sum-total route was six miles, all on difficult trail. Greek heroes in classic tragedies endured less betrayal.
Now it would’ve been well within my power to request to go back; but, at that moment, I was feeling physically good at marching a mile in less than an hour, and that sensation somehow fused with testosterone, the Stetson, and male vanity, so, even though I knew at the time it might not be a good idea, all I could do was just grimly forge on with a few complaints. Good news, after a severe challenge to my dexterity, balance, and endurance, I’m still mostly-intact. I’m painfully sore from the waist down (I’ve said before, I’ll say it again, why isn’t codeine OTC in this Godforsaken country like it is in every civilized place on the planet). Left leg (and side) are not too bad, but the right foot’s killing me (I’ve tried stretching and rolling it on my yoga roller, which helped, but it’s still not up to snuff) - when I first got out of the car after arriving home (it’s a California thing; we drive for an hour to walk), I couldn’t, because that stupid right heel was too tender, And after all this, my reward to myself was an extra beer and another Tylenol. What have I become? Anyway, Dad and I have quietly agreed that sitting up and getting out of bed should definitely count as a trip to the gym (he’s also ordered a tree that’s sitting by the garage, so there’s a distinct possibility he has darker plans in store for me), and I’m personally going to try and keep my step-mother from any and all topographic maps. Still, you can’t outpace time and you’ll die if you ignore new constraints placed by disease, so I’ll look into some sort of walking stick (I spent the first five minutes back in the car slumped in the driver’s side because that’’s how achey/creeky I felt all on the left) before attempting anything that stupid and arduous again *I’ll credit Dad with this joke when he discovered that you can get a discount on these items if you order them online in bulk
1 note
·
View note
Text
Start from a previous chapter:
Entry 1: Welcome to Citytown
Entry 2: Well, the town’s still standing
Entry 3: Fishin’, Diggin’, and Choppin’
Entry 4: Bad day? Shopping helps.
Entry 5: Celebrity Edition
Entry 6: I don’t like you like that!
This week has been quite the roller coaster.
It’s been so long since I started this journal and my wonderfully weird adventures in this town. I’ve grown fond of my land, my authoritative power, and even my neighbors… Well, most of them. But then everything changed in the blink of an eye.
It all started when Friga, one of my long-time residents had decided to move. I decided to go to her house and help her pack to spend some quality time with her before she left. When I arrived at her house, she had told me about an embarrassing packing mishap that we had to fix. Oh Friga, you lovable dunderhead…
As we reorganized her boxes filled to the brim with shoes, I couldn’t help but ponder — Friga doesn’t wear shoes, so why does she have so many? At this point, it’s best not to ask questions and just get her out of town as soon as possible before I start thinking too hard about it.
It wasn’t long before others followed her example: Ankha, Beau… That other guy. So sad to see everyone go. The only one who remains from the beginning of my reign as mayor is Antonio — who is legally bound to this town. I will not let you leave my dear, sweet, Antonio.
Several new citizens moved in almost immediately. I suppose word of my magnificent Citytown is getting around. The first new resident was Julian, the blue unicorn — or I suppose you could say, blunicorn (my gosh, I’m hilarious. I should tell him this superb pun).
I always make it a priority to visit my new residents and help them settle in and occasionally snoop through their personal belongings. Apparently Julian has already made quite the impression on everyone that very day as he is a very big deal in this town.
We hit it off pretty well and we made a plan to get together the next day at his house. Apparently, I made quite the impression on him as he greeted me in the most shojo way… Why are all the men in this town so into me? They should know by now that I’m a one anteater kind of girl.
I’m not so sure about how I feel about Julian anymore. Besides, he has pretty strange taste in music.
The next resident to move in shortly after was Gala the pig. I don’t mean that offensively as she quite literally is a pig. She’s a sweet girl, and pretty cute too… Again, for a pig. No offense intended.
I overheard her and Wolf Link the other day speaking about some very intellectual topics, which was rather unexpected given her rather carefree nature. I was quite intrigued with what she had to say.
However, when I later began to chat with her, I found her slang to be a bit jarring — as did she.
She’s still a good kid though. Wolf Link and I even invited her to join us for some stimulating outdoor exercises.
I think I’d like to have her stay a while, which is more than I can say about… Well, we’ll get to him later.
My third new townie is named Annabelle. She’s an armadillo I believe, and if not, close enough. I, like always, tried to get to know her a little better to see if she meets my expectations for citizenship in my town. She seems normal for the most part, aside from some… odd hobbies…
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t engage in a little chopping every now and then as well…
She followed me around the rest of the day, which quickly got on my nerves. Whenever I tried to have a nice conversation with someone she would just stick her nose into our business! Literally! Have you seen that thing? It’s huge!
Regardless, she seems mentally stable enough to reside within Citytown for now… Unlike Mira. Remember her? Ugh. She still visits — and I swear something goes missing every time she does! At least it’s not as bad as when Quillson visits. How I despise that duck. What a creep…
Anyway, then he showed up.
After Beau left there was a vacant space to the left of my house. It was so open and free! I had been stuck between him and Ankha for the longest time and now that they’re both gone I could move about as I pleased — maybe even plant those blue roses that I’ve been wanting to grow for the longest time — but NO! He has to come and ruin everything!
Chief.
That low-life, knock-off, smug little wolf! From the moment we met, I knew our relationship would be a bumpy one. A local? How dare he not know who I am! This is MY town, bub!
Who does he think he is? Fang! That’s who he thinks he is! This little brat just goes and copies Fang all the time, trying to pull off that charming attitude as his own! It’s sick! That handsome fool! Even Fang himself caught onto his little scheme and I’ve never seen him so mad before!
I consulted Antonio for advice, because he understands me so well — Like no one ever has.
However, instead of resolving the whole Chief situation, I instead brought up some internal trauma that Antonio has been enduring lately. Such a complexed individual.
So instead I turned to Whitney for advice. She is my go-to galpal, and she always has a wise word of advice whenever I need it. We had a long talk near the cliffside about how to calmly and collectively rectify the situation at hand.
We finally settled that there was only thing we can do, handle the problem like adults and summon the ghost who lives in my attic to get rid of him.
…Did I never mention that I have a ghost that lives in my attic? Oh, well, I do. To make a long story short, I found this lamp and took it in my house because, ya know, it looked neat, and a ghost popped out. Anyway, with a little convincing, my ghost pal will take care of this Chief fellow within the next day or so. He’ll never know what hit him…
Oh no, he’s onto me!
All and all, I think I handled all the new residents (and ex-residents) rather well. I should get a promotion. Super mayor! Yes. I’ll speak to Isabelle about this during my next meeting. Have I ever even gone to one of those? …Huh…
Regardless, after this mad rush, things have been seeming to calm down around Citytown with only a few visits from that annoying Gracie character. What’s her deal anyway? There’s nothing wrong with the way I dress… I think the villagers might form a mob soon. I fully support their decision.
The future does look bright again for Citytown now that Chief is gone and my new residents are settled in and mingling about… Also, I found Antonio’s swimsuit bag, which is always a plus.
Read my residential review here!
Thank you for taking the time to check out my work!
If you’d like to see more from me, check out my Instagram, Deviantart, and Facebook Page!
If you would like to support my work, please check out my Patreon or my Etsy Shop!
It’s been so long since I started this journal and my wonderfully weird adventures in this town. I’ve grown fond of my land, my authoritative power, and even my neighbors... Well, most of them. But then everything changed in the blink of an eye. Start from a previous chapter: Entry 1: Welcome to Citytown Entry 2: Well, the town’s still standing…
#Animal Crossing#Animal Crossing New Leaf#animal crossing villagers#Diaries#Diary#Funny#Gaming#Neighbors#Nintendo#Parody#Short Stories#Video Game#Video Games
1 note
·
View note
Text
Control Training - Liam Dunbar and Scott McCall
Request: Imagine request: you recently got bitten by Scott. And your training to use your wolf abilities to there extent. Since Liam and you are dating he's there for moral support. You need to learn how to control your anger but scot hits you and you get really mad and start to wolf out on him and try to attack him cause you anger gets the best of you. Liam and Scott calm you down.
Summary: (Y/N) has just recently been bitten and Scott is training her how to control her power. Of course, (Y/N)’s boyfriend Liam has to come for moral support which is much needed.
“How are you feeling? What are you thinking about?” Scott asked me as he stood opposite me with a bag full of lacrosse balls. It was after school hours and no one was here but us. We told coach that Scott was going to train Liam some new Lacrosse tricks but actually, he was training me how not to kill people.
“Good. Just wondering if when they wrote the 3 little pigs or red riding hood they actually knew about werewolves and like... were hunters or something... or just tryna make us look bad or something...”
“Okay... Well, you need to focus. We need to see how good you are at maintaining calm. You have to keep your heart rate down or else you’ll turn, and we can’t have that happening in public.” I nod and look over to Liam who’s sitting on the benches. Suddenly, I’m hit in the face with a ball.
“Um, what the f-”
“Stay calm.”
“How can I when you’re throwing balls at me?”
“This is how Stiles trained me. Pretty much right where we’re standing too.”
“Okay but I’m not yo-” Scott threw another ball at me and I heard Liam chuckle when I glared at Scott.
“(Y/N), they put me in handcuffs. Trust me, this is better. For both of us. I don’t really like the idea of Scott putting you in handcuffs.” Liam interjected trying to make light of the situation.
“Okay, okay. If this is how I have to learn then go for i-” Scott threw another ball.
“You could’ve let me finish what I was say-” And another. I breathed in deeply as he kept throwing balls. I tried to compose myself and stay calm but when I heard his voice ask me a question I snapped. I felt my claws come out and I growled lowly, showing my teeth. The others paused and when I started running at Scott he quickly changed form too.
“(Y/N), calm down!” He shouted over the vicious fight. I could feel something inside my chest get hotter and hotter. It was like some internal fury that I was now externalising onto Scott. I could feel his skin under my claws every now and then when I swiped at him and the smell blood intensified.
“(Y/N).” I hear Liam’s voice and I froze.
“(Y/N), please stop. Control yourself.” I feel his hands grab onto my arms. I had forgotten that he was even there. In fact I had forgotten I was even there. It felt so surreal; like it wasn’t even me that was hurting Scott. I froze and started taking in big breaths, realising what had happened, what I had done.
“Oh my god.” I whisper as my body changes back to normal. I see blood coming from Scott’s cheek and shirt. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me.”
“I’ll heal. And don’t worry, we all tried to kill someone our first transformation.” I looked over at Liam who laughed and nodded, looking at Scott and then back to me. It wasn’t until then that I realised that I had hurt Liam. A gush of blood was seeping from his shoulder. I jump up and grab ahold of him arm seeing how deep it was.
“Don’t stress. Like Scott said, I’ll heal.”
“Okay, I think that’s enough training for one night. I’ll see you two back here tomorrow.” Scott said as he picked up his bag and smiled at the two of us.
“Yeah, see you then.” Liam said for me as I was still in a small state of shock. “Come on, lets go wash this blood off.” Liam says as we begin walking to my car.
“A warm shower sounds nice.”
“Yeah it does.”
“By myself.”
“What?”
“You heard me Dunbar, theres been enough excitement for one night.” I giggled.
Hey! Sorry this took a lot longer than I expected. I have no excuse, I just bought a Nintendo Switch and got extremely side tracked! I haven’t even done 1% of my holiday homework ahaha. Anyway, hope you liked it! xx
#tw#tw imagines#tw imagine#teen wolf#teen wolf imagine#teen wolf imagines#liam dunbar#liam dunbar imagine#liam dunbar imagines#Scott McCall#scott mccall imagine#scott mccall imagines#dylan sprayberry#dylan sprayberry imagine#dylan sprayberry imagines#Tyler Posey#tyler posey imagine#tyler posey imagines
217 notes
·
View notes
Text
Unexpected crush I 04
01 I 02 I 03 I 04
Words count: 1936
Member: Jimin & you (ft. Taehyung)
Genre: Fluff
A/N: I’m really sorry if this story confuses you, I haven’t exactly seen through it so if there’s anything you come across that doesn’t make sense, let me know! <3 - VIC
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's so typical that the weather just decided to change once I got out of the bus. Today might turn out to be the worst day ever this year. I woke up ten minutes before I had to reach the bus, meaning I missed it. I'm twenty five minutes late for class and the rain decided to pour the day I forgot to bring an umbrella. My backpack strap ripped and it was just in the beginning of this day.
Yesterday was horrible too, I got in a fight with my mom and my sisters car broke down on Saturday and wouldn't be back until Tuesday. Another problem I had that didn't involve my after school life was, Katie. She made a huge fit yesterday and claimed that she had technically given me a warning about staying as far away from Jimin as possible because she had dibs.
Jimin is not some toy, sweetie.
Then again, why did she think I was stealing him away from her. Maybe because I still had his sweatshirt, but other than that - I have no intention to hang around with this guy. I'm sure he had better things to do than to waste time on a weird and lonely girl like me.
Wow, that was sad.
My biology teacher didn't seem so happy with me being late for class. I was happy she didn't question me right in front of the entire class when I came in because that would've been super awkward. Instead she nodded at one of the desks gesturing for me to take a seat which I quickly did. She didn't have to tell me twice. I never liked biology, it was all so confusing - but just like math, I tried my best to learn it and understand every bit of it - and I think that's why I get good grades. Because I try my best in everything and trying is what counts, right?
Unfortunately for me, the only seat that was available was the seat in front of Katie and her little followers. This is the reason to why Biology was one of my least favorite subjects, because this was the class where Katie was reunited with all of her evil friends that was just as bad as her. I heard snickering behind me and I knew they were laughing at me, but I was ignoring them like all the other times they harassed innocent people. It wasn't as easy to ignore them when they started whistling and calling for my name, so I turned around just to make it stop. "What?"
"You forgot to button up your shirt, we can see your bra." I looked down at my shirt and sure enough half of my shirt was unbutton. My cheeks flared red and quickly buttoned up my buttons as I turned around while the whole class was laughing at me. The teacher didn't seem to notice which was weird because she said it pretty loud. Either she wished to not acknowledge the bullying in this class or she was deaf.
Ever since last Friday, Katie assured me that the rest of my school year would be miserable. That was a warning that I wouldn't take for granted because trust me, Katie had a lot of connections, she had lots of friends that admired her and she had everything. She could drag you down with just a finger snap.
Biology was over before I knew it, we actually discussed something interesting today and I was happy that half of my day was finished. We had Biology the first half of our school day and then I had two classes with English and after that I was done. My plan for the rest of the day was watching Netflix and do homework and take a warm bath and sleep. Just chirpy ;)
Can you find your way to your locker or do you want me to guide you? - Andrea.
I chuckled as I quickly messaged her back,
On my way! Dumbass. -C
Since me and Andrea had no classes together we always meet each other at our given lockers in middle breaks before next period. That way, we got to share valuable information and just gossip in general. The middle breaks were fifteen minutes and next period was two minutes from my locker so we got some time to talk. As always Andrea was staring at her phone once I got to my locker. She hated being alone and waiting because it made her look like a dummy, and I mean - that's one way to put it.
"My face is up here," I point out and her eyes snaps to mine with relief. "What took you so long?"
I opened my lockers. "Katie held me back."
"You in trouble?" Katie grabbed my arm before I could escape biology class and throwing some words that made me cringe so bad. It didn't scare me, she didn't look intimidating at all - if anything, she annoyed me. So I listened to her and then I just flicked her off as I walked to my locker. "Dunno, don't care."
"You should care."
"Why?"
"Cause she's evil, and she will throw a party for your death. Please play safe."
"What do you mean play?"
"This is a game, you're gonna lose. I'm telling you this as your friend who's worried about your safety, leave this game before you get hurt." I slammed my locker shut, annoyed.
"I'm not gonna get hurt, Andrea." She looked a little taken back by my frustration so I quickly apologized for scaring her, "I'm so sorry, bad day."
"It's fine, I'm just worried."
"I know you are, but nothing is going to happen. Katie isn't Regina George so just let it go." I fixed my backpack because it was trying to slip of my shoulder and pulled off a genuine smile. "I have to get to class. I'll take to you later."
I didn't even let her say goodbye back because to be honest I was honest. She was my best friend, she should have faith in me. Sure Katie was higher in school than me but I'm not weak and I'm pretty sure I could drag someone like Katie down if I had connections too. Problem is that I don't. I don't have connections like she does, and maybe that's why I'm annoyed. Because Andrea is right about me getting hurt. Not because she brought it up, ah fuck my life.
I decided to just stay in our home room for lunch because no one usually stays here because all of them has friends. Even Andrea had other friends after and maybe that's the reason why she doesn't join me in our home room. I was just watching teen wolf's new episode when suddenly the door flung open. My eyes widened when I recognized the face.
"Jimin?"
Jimin stood there in my home room door looking breathtaking as always. He was wearing blue shorts and one of those baseball shirts in grey and black with his grey converse. His hair was not styled today and frankly, it looked kind of cute on him. If it wasn't for the fact that he was looking confused I would've ended up staring at him and drooling, but I didn't. Instead I mirrored his confused look because what was he doing here? Was he searching for me.
"I've been looking for you," he takes a step into my home room and walks over to my desk. His eyes flicks to my computer screen. "Are you seriously watching teen wolf?"
"Why were you looking for me?" I changed the subject.
"How am I supposed to keep a promise if you don't come out?" He frowned. I chuckled, "Jimin, that was a joke. I wasn't gonna come out."
"I wasn't joking."
"Good for you." I responded. I turned my attention back to Dylan O'Brien expecting Jimin to scurry out of this room but he did the quite opposite actually. He grabbed the chair next to my desk and slid it next to my chair. I arched an eyebrow, "What are you doing?"
"Having lunch with you?"
"Why?"
"Because I want to watch teen wolf too."
I tilt my head to the side, amused. "You watch teen wolf?" He mirrors my tilt - "Absolutely. That stiles guy is a hottie, isn't he?" I would've missed the sarcasm if it hadn't been for the quick raise in eyebrows he gave me after he said it. I rolled my eyes, closing my computer.
I pull out the sand which that I brought from home and was about to take a bite when I noticed Jimin was eyeing it, hungrily. "You want some?" Like a little kid, he nodded. I gave him the sandwich and he ripped a big bite of it but for a guy like him, that was probably nothing. "You can have it all, I just ate."
"You dead ass?"
"Hm?"
"Are you sure?"
"Oh yeah." I wave him off as I watch him eating the chicken teriyaki sandwich. I knew Jimin was a soccer player and soccer players eat a lot of food to gain muscles. Jimin sacrificed the delicious pizza in the cafeteria to have lunch with me in this nasty classroom, I would've felt guilty if I didn't give him anything back.
"This is delicious." He moans.
I laugh, "I'm sure."
He finished the sandwich in no time and it had me shocked. He was eating like a pig previously and now he was dabbing a napkin to his mouth like a little rich kid. I giggled earning a questioning look from him.
"You eat like a cow."
"I'm sorry but nobody eats normal."
"I do." I reply. He smirks, leaning in closer to my face. As a reflect I quickly back away but he keeps closing in. "Is that so?" Before he could move any closer, the door flung open again and another voice interrupted us. "What's with this sexual tension, Jimin?"
My hands flew to my cheeks as I tried to hide them. Jimin smiled at me cutely before looking over at his friend that was smirking and leaning against the door frame. "Shut it, Tae."
Taehyung walked over to us and gave me a small head nod. "Taehyung."
"Crystal."
"She's cute, where did you find her?" Why do these guys keep making me blush.
"I know, right?" Jimin looked to me and then back at Taehyung, "She worked with me in the musical room."
Taehyung's mouth formed an 'o'. He grabbed a chair next to ours and dragged it to our positions. We just started talking about anything actually from then. Aaron was a really cool guy and he seemed really nice. He didn't seem too upfront or too direct - he was just perfect. Aaron was tall with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes were so blue you couldn't even describe them, they were beautiful.
"So, you're telling me you dropped a whole bucket of blue paint at her?" Taehyung pointed at me. Jimin thought it would've been fun to tell him about our first encounter, but for me it was humiliating. Aaron didn't seem to judge, in fact - the laugh that escaped his mouth was melodic and comforting. His laugh started fading and Jimin seemed to notice it as well.
"What's up?"
"Three o clock." Me and Jimin looked to three o clock and I think I heard a low mutter of, "Here she comes, again."
Katie.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
September to Remember
Is anyone else losing time with no idea where it’s going?
That’s how September went for me. Made some changes to better be prepared for keeping my social media presence alive while trying to do that little writing thing I love so much. Still don’t know how to solve the problems my editor brought to my attention, but I'm working on it. In the meantime, I have been gearing up for NaNoWriMo and preparing ahead of losing more time then. (Dare I mention holiday stuff? Like the Christmas shopping started, or the semi prepping 2 months worth of game boards and daily arts? Should totally follow my Patreon link for more on that!)
So basically? Finally might be getting ahead of the dreaded 8-ball. At least #CharactersHell was a success! Got to count the little victories too.
The awesome thing is that it’s now October, so I have many things to look forward to. Kilt Fest again, Halloween cookies... Things that you guys might love seeing, beyond my writing updates. Which of course, this is... September rounds up below.
#WIPTruthOrDare
1- T- My WIP starts in fall, covers Halloween quite well, for a bar.
2- T- No… Maybe it's simply the way in which I've hurt MC that I don't like...
3- T- Tweety! No one else works that hard or makes it look that easy.
4-T- Tweety is a plantser… Couple ideas to start the ball rolling, but no clue what will happen after that.
5-T- Tweety has reputation to uphold, so she's always early… Providing others don't run late...
6- D- Sly slips in for this, toting a mixed bag of books, including the last book he needed, Historical Society handbook/guide. “This usually fixes everything.”
7- D- Well, the last time SOMEONE didn't do what was expected, a good guy ended up with a black eye and handcuffed to a bed frame...
8- T- Tweety has those friends that pick on you for fun. But the Antags are the worst.
9- T- Deej has a “pet” Lynx or two.
D- Antag would like to know if humans count as pets?
10- T- the accents! The Scotney needs a proper balance, or else it's too harsh!
11- T- For no spoilers, we go to Woods, who's waiting to see if the band gets signed.
12- D- Already did it, got to read the book…
T- From that same, yes… Plus exhausted legs all the time.
13- T- Some are, some aren't. It's a diverse community, so all sorts of beliefs.
14- T- Tweety writes, reads, sleeps… mostly soaks and falls asleep journaling.
15- D- Costumes! Write a specific or nonspecific creature into WIP and share! Vs Halloween costumes
16- T- so close they call the bunch of them Trouble girls. At least 3-5 of them.
17- T- Soak, pick out an outfit, write and sleep, only to change her mind in the morning.
18- T- Truth be told, someone had to be… Or at least a clear “villain” in that scene.
19- T- Both. One cannot truly live without both. One you just see more of...
20- T- Tweety is a soda only sort of woman. She can mix a mean punch though.
21- T- Yes. Sophia avoids the ex that's with her employee. Love triangles suck, and people suffer.
22- T- Tweet wakes up, dresses, works, sleeps and repeats with small breaks of craziness.
23- T- Yes as it's a semi current Earth.
24- T- Sophia takes a drink since Tweet is too “nice” while Brandon and Tim just take a shot at her.
25- T- Tweety. She's the kind one taking care of others. No one likes the things that happen...
26- T- Tweety and Sly. Tweet’s prepared for crazy and come ons, while Sly is a wealth of knowledge.
27- T- Honestly? This Diner/Beach Travel thing. So real and intimate...
28- T- The same one who regularly fries the Jukebox trying to “fix” it. - Deej
29- T- I think Remmy, or Sly have a great grasp and can do justice as narrator.
30- T- Tweety does even to her own detriment… #spoilers
#wipwordsearch
1- Bebe shot through the room, if one could #run and skip, she seemed to be doing it.
2- Even nearly #falling onto a guy and barely keeping her red rubies caged looked classy.
3- Angus and Scotty had the good sense to first agree with Woods, and then do their darnedest to get Brandon to #leave while he was still in one piece.
4- Frost #groaned, something in her face gave him the funny feeling in his gut again.
5- When Tweet, Runta, and Ally came out from their fix up, it started with one #whistle, which turned into more and soon had the girls blushing at the reaction.
6- The #gravelly tone wasn’t lost on either of them, "Tonight's lesson- don’t start anything you can't control."
7- He seemed to lose himself in that thought; mindlessly working the bottle around, as if #twisting it would #twist him free of whatever plagued his mind.
8- He didn't stop until she looked much more alive, and likely to melt and #drip right out of the car.
9- Not that Bebe on her side of the bar would be outdone. She would make her own group #gasp at her antics and outbursts, Nira at her hip, egging her on.
10- She could still see and remember all the ugly things she believed of herself, but now she couldn’t touch it, couldn't revel in it like a pig in #mud.
11- Woods smiled again, already figuring out how to #rock out as a version of Wolverine.
12- "If it's a pole you want luv, I'm ready and willing to be of assistance anytime." He chuckled, her eyes #rolled in exasperation, yet her face said she loved it; even her lips twitched warring not to smile.
13- Woods' gaze #drifted to the stage, and a smile stirred his face for the first time in what felt like a long time. "Do you mind…?"
14- A #chill went down Tweet's spine, she could have done without music now, and certainly never wanted to hear that song ever again.
15- NO DUSK
16- NO GUTTERAL
17- "Ok, ok I'm sorry I snore, but you kick. If either of us should #cry over bad sleeping habits, it could be me."
18- She first needed to wash away the sweat and #grime that came from his violent sleep.
19- "It's just that he's a big ladies man, #spent most of the day getting all kinds of attention from the ladies, probably thought he could get you to do it too. Roger's not a bad kiddo, just not smart about his manners."
20- It had been so long ago, but now he clearly remembered #Grandma Jeanie.
21- They even coaxed a guy into trying out as a chef. He'd been #sweet talked into whipping up some lunch, even if it was sandwiches, and somehow he was grateful for the opportunity.
22- She hated the battle, but knew in her #heart, it was right to worry about the complications of leaving and untangling things.
23- Her father sounded similar when he was drunk, and her mother usually #bore the bruises to prove it.
24- "I spoke the truth doll face; it does look like your #closet exploded." She stuck her tongue out at him, and he made the pinching motion at her.
25- Most of the surrounding clubs were #seedy and their names tried to sound respectable, but you could see it from the street how they operated.
26- Smiling to himself, his randomness started to sound like Bill #Withers to his own ears. Use Me came to mind and he went with it, making sure to pay more attention on Tweety.
27- The band started playing on the stage; the cymbal #crash and reverberation out of the guitar were perfect attention getters.
28- the one time she would enjoy having a silent sort of boyfriend was also the time he decided to talk..."I swear to god, if you open your mouth, it better be to #sing or to simply use your lips. Anything else and I will walk out right now."
29- She moved to strapping on the mask, a pretty purple piece, with lines of glitter around the eyes and the mask edges. It had slight points at the top edges of the mask, and on them were a line of gems; in amethyst, ruby, and #sapphire blue.
30- He had too many hopes and dreams for one night. If she was as good as he hoped she was, a #month wouldn't even be enough to scratch the surface.
#CharactersTell
1/9- *Looks around before stepping up* “I believe I am to volunteer for this round of questions, as education is my strong suit. While you may have heard me called a Thesaurus, I prefer Sly, your night time bartender.” (in the Red Letters series)
2/9- Sly- “Currently, I am a college student, but I have an education from books. Well read is an understatement for me...”
3/9- Sly- "I'm a transplant. An Aussie originally, these classes abroad are amazing, but the hours are rough on me. So what if they joke I'm a vampire? At least I have all sorts of foreign educations…"
4/9- Sly- "Up until recently, I preferred to be a lone wolf if you will. Maybe I had a friend outside of school that shared my hours and moods, but usually only one at a time."
5/9- Sly- "The subjects that were not my best, they had a tendency to bore me or be harder. In my favorite classes, I did get much further ahead. Certain classes were practically finished in months."
6/9- Sly- "I do prefer my solitude yes. Only now am I learning to embrace the education from interesting people."
7/9- Sly- *The verbose bartender pauses* "I do not like talking about that with anyone."
#CharactersTell
8/9- A strange woman walks on stage, dressed in mismatching items with a pink wig on. "Oh honey, if you don't know who I am, you're in the wrong bar. You may have the privilege of calling me Lady Sophia."
9/9- Lady Sophia- "What education do you think you deserve? I have many teaching styles…" (So, not your Ivy League grad here…)
10/9- Lady S- "This is a toss up. I personally loved music classes, as I AM a singer. But I did attend nearly every gym class… Between the health classes and all that physical movement? Best thing to study and then put into practice, usually behind bleachers."
11/9- Lady S- "Of course. History already happened, so who cares? Only reason I kinda went to math and economics class was because of a guy. Really if there wasn't something to stare at, I picked and chose."
12/9- Lady S- "Define popular? Like rah rah shove a pom pom up my (bleep) popular? (bleep) no darling, but I did develop my own following and acclaim, for my talents…"
13/9- Lady S- "Bothering is such a simple word. I had my share of "stalkers" and "can't get enoughers" but there were people who considered me a "bother". Inappropriate is really in the eye of the beholder, you know?"
14/9- Lady S- "As much as that does not matter now, I actually had great grades in economics and decent ones in business related electives. No wonder where my business owner skills came from."
#CharactersHell
1- Just your average bar for crazy people. Little history, little future building, lots of music and dreams...
2- It's a woman's fiction genre because it's more than just a romance or slice-of-life story.
3- The challenges are the characters mostly! Some go off the rails and it's hard to get them back… Others think I am writing SFF, or something more X rated. Mostly it's just "how to host/run a bar while antisocial."
4- This WIP is something I've been working on for a long time, and I can never get it out of my head. This story wants out and it's pursuing me to no end, challenges and all.
5- I wouldn't say my world is very harsh, but there are some bad elements that make it less than pretty...
6- There are multiple levels of evil, some you can see, others are working in secret together.
7- Besides the fact that it's a bar, therefore full of alcohol? Well, there is a sort of brothel thing going on in the background that Tweety doesn't care for...
8- This one's a toss-up. Remmy is in a broken relationship from the start. Tweety is in a relationship, and yet not….
9- Remmy is aware, though that doesn't make it hurt any less. Tweety wasn't to start, but does realize, and it makes it harder to work.
10- Remmy is at a 9, while Tweety is at about 4. One is more likely to leave than the other, and Tweet has far more than a budding relationship to worry about.
11- For Remmy's hellmaker, she's aware she just doesn't care. For Tweety, Woods doesn't realize her inner workings. Woods can be kind of clueless...
12- Remmy does, in Long Island Iced Teas made by Tweety. Tweety can over flirt when her feelings are hurt or she's trying to pretend...
13- Oh definitely. The third parties are endless, including the bar owner Sophia, bandmates like Brandon, and just general other patrons in the bar. Can't forget Tim too...
14- In a relationship likely to cheat? Has to be Raven. The rest of the group have sort of fluctuating relationships where you can't tell if they're together or not so you really can't call it cheating.
15- Tweety is to blame for some of what she's gotten herself into, but not all of its her fault, some of its circumstance from the job she's in...
16- Oh all the time. Tweety isn't known as a Trouble girl for no reason, and you don't hear them calling Double or Triple Trouble without her friends.
17- They are in both kinds of hell. It's a lot of psychological stuff, until it becomes physical. Breaking things both mentally, and the furniture too.
18- It's likely a lot of characters won't come out the same. But they will survive, just changed, and scarred...
19- Oh yeah the lusty people are the original bar workers, with the exception of Frost.
20- As it says in the book, nobody would be hanging out in a bar if they didn't have personal stuff too. At least our bar workers, patrons are different story.
21- Generally it's not very gory, except for the scenes that are meant to be. Try to keep them to at least one really graphic thing a book...
22- I hate editing, it's harder for me to fix things when I'm still not seeing the problem.
23- Now I do, some software, an actual editor (mine's @scribecat check out her awesomeness!)… makes this process a little easier.
24- A lot of the time it's binge-watching something and getting away from writing.
25- if it's a long weekend, and I know I don't have to work the real job, sometimes there's alcohol...
26- My problem characters are always the smart ones. Like Sly, who's nicknamed the human thesaurus; or Nira, who's like a crazy genius… Sometimes they are smarter than I am.
27- I hold on to a lot of stuff, so worst memories are critiques- school writing stuff long before I knew I was to be a writer.. stuff I should be over but still haunts me. Or the times I tore out notebook pages with "failed" first chapters. Never get those back..
28- #FF
29- Tim hits almost all of them, like Pride, Lust, Greed, Envy and Wrath. They pair up, like pride and greed, but especially lust, Envy, wrath working all together...
30- Tim? Oh he's depraved enough to revel in it, and I doubt he'll be redeemable… Can't make the leopard change his spots.
#september#writer#round up#twitter#my posts#games#tag games#patreon#nanowrimo#prep#wiptruthordare#characterstell#charactershell#red letters#teasers#wipwordsearch
0 notes
Text
What about the Wolves?!
There is constantly so much chaos going on in the world and often times, we all tend to overlook the important things. For example, what about the wolves? Now, I’m sure most of you are familiar with the reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone National Park, and the positive impact it had on the ecosystem. However, this isn’t about that. This is about the wolves that go unnoticed. The following is a list of Wolves ranked in order.
1. Governor Tom Wolf
Tom Wolf is the 47th Governor of Pennsylvania. Governor Wolf has been focused on three simple goals: jobs that pay, schools that teach, and government that works. Over the past two years Governor Wolf has fought to increase funding for Pennsylvania schools by nearly $840 million while implementing a fair funding formula, in order to begin reversing the devastating $1 billion in cuts made to schools five years ago. He has expanded health care access to 715,000 Pennsylvanians, including increasing the number of insured children by 20%. Wolf is “for the children” like The Wu Tang Clan. Working diligently to fight the disastrous opioid epidemic, he is still chill a chill dude, so he legalized marijuana.
2. The Hungry Wolf (from the popular Duran Duran Song, “Hungry Like The Wolf”)
This hit jam was released in 1982 and has been turning people on ever since (according to the redundant YouTube commentary). It won’t get the party started, but it sure will keep it going. It addresses the honest animalistic nature of dating and sexuality. I’m sure this song also reminds you of your mom. Plus, it has been featured in popular movies, such as “Big Fat Liar” starring Paul Giamatti and who can argue with that.
3. A Lone Wolf
According to the widely trusted source, Wikipedia, “A lone wolf is a person that generally lives or spends time alone instead of with a group.” This term originates from observing real wolf behaviors, thus creating the euphemistic metaphor that wolf behavior and human behavior are synonymous to one another (despite zero biological evidence for this [I am not a licensed scientist.]). “Normally a pack animal, wolves that have left or been excluded from their pack are described as lone wolves.” Lone wolves (the people, not the actual wolves) hold their niche is society, as people are often exclusive. People who can be independent and kick ass despite being beaten down or left out are kickass people. However, everyone loves being accepted, and where there are lone wolves, there are other lone wolves, and hopefully they can collaborate into a cohesive wolf pack, like in the movie “The Hangover”.
4. Endangered Wolves
These guys are obviously overlooked. Being endangered isn’t chill, but I’m sure these sad, dying, little wolves are. I guess I don’t know how chill wolves are firsthand, and due to the headlines about them attacking children, we can assume that seems pretty chill to some people. #SaveTheWolves
5. Wolf of Wall Street
Although the man who inspired this nickname (Jordan Belfort) is a criminal, it was a pretty phenomenal feature length film directed by Martin Scorcese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Leo was accompanied by a stacked cast in the undertaking of pretending to do hard drugs and insider trading for the entire 3 hours of the movie. Fun fact: The word “fuck” and its numerous conjugations are said between 506 and 569 times, making this the film with the most uses of the word in a mainstream, non-documentary film. Plus, I wrote a paper about this movie without even seeing it and got an A+. The only teacher commentary was, “Have you finished the movie?” (Because I hadn’t, and didn’t talk about the consequences he incurred. Oh well.) While maintaining a 77% approval rating, it’s apparent that this should clearly be ranked.
7. Werewolf
Werewolves are like the Transformers of mythical creatures. This is a public service announcement on all of the ways you can become a werewolf, according to the world’s most trusted source, Wikipedia:
The removal of clothing and putting on a belt made of wolfskin.
The body is rubbed with a magic salve.
Drinking rainwater out of the footprint of the animal in question or from certain enchanted streams.
By draining a cup of specially prepared beer and repeating a set formula.
On a certain Wednesday or Friday, slept outside on a summer night with the full moon shining directly on his or her face.
Here’s ways I think you can transform into a werewolf:
Applying Rogaine frequently and excessively, covering one’s entire body while also ingesting a lot of various amphetamines.
Having a boner lasting longer than 4 hours, with no access to a doctor.
Having hairy and angry Eastern Eurourpean ancestors accompanied by a drinking problem that causes you to wear clothes that are too tight.
Dress up for Halloween.
Witches and curses and stuff, duh.
6. Wolf Blitzer
Reportedly one of the least buzzworthy news anchors on air today, Wolf Blitzer is just trying to do his best. I really appreciate whomever cuts his hair, and I appreciated his befuddlement when Trump “won” the election, despite the backlash he received on Twitter. Also rumor has it that he’s a Ween fan, so points to him for listening to that. But milk toast can no longer be praised in our country, we deserve better than boring. Sorry Mr. Blitzer, I still like your haircut.
8. Teen Wolf
All teenagers are nightmares. That’s a fact. And I don’t know much about this popular Teen Wolf, except that instead of puberty hitting him, he is faced with folkloric nonsense and excessive chest hair growth. I’m not sure if he’s violent, or good at sports. But he is a teenager, and that is bad enough.
9. Big Bad Wolf
His name defines his character, which is cool because it is kind of like a heads up for his unpredictable shitty behavior. First of all, these three pig brothers (we can assume this because they are doing serious construction work, a stereotypically male profession) built these houses on their own, with their bare hoofs. I can’t imagine building anything without thumbs could be very successful, and I’m now revealing a plot hole that I think has gone unnoticed. Maybe the fact that they were pigs negatively impacted the structural stability of these homes, leaving them more vulnerable to strong wolf winds. Regardless, it was not the pigs’ fault. He huffed, and puffed, and blew those homes over, without any appreciation for the diversity of architecture or material. Also, what is the point of that fable? If I remember it correctly, which I probably am not, the moral is just that you should build your home with brick and not hire pigs as your architects or carpenters.
10. Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood
Although great at deception, and having the ability to talk to humans, we cannot forget that he swallowed an entire grandma. He also followed a little girl through the woods and stole her baked goods. The most probable wolf to encounter, and thus the worst.
Spread awareness about the wolves. Tell your friends. Tell your coworkers you don't like. I know you'll tell your mom. #wolves
0 notes