#like the fact that its free is nice dont get me wrong

[maxellminidisc]

Genuinely hate how Duolingo sets up lessons cause like its absolute ass when it comes to teaching you grammar. It essentially makes you do exercises without explaining to you why you do the thing and just expects you to I guess figure it out? Especially, when it comes to languages that don't structure their sentence as S(ubject) V(erb) O(bject) like English. Like for example, Korean, it never explains that your sentence and grammar are instead structured in a SOV format, never explains what purpose served and how to use Korean particles like say 이 or 가, never talk about what version of these particles will denote formality or informality, ect.

Grammar is absolutely critical to language learning. You can't just throw some vocab at people and then put them in a sentence without teaching how those sentences work. What you end up with is a bad habit of memorization, and memorization of information where like idk 80% of the sentence they teach are nonsense, instead of real comprehension of how a language works so that you can then use the info you've been given to start making your own sentences.

[bunnyboy-juice]

honestly. being able to be honest with my loved ones about when i am Mentally Unwell but also Dont Want To Talk About It has done wonders for my mental health

[hanasnx]

❝ incendium. ❞

── stephen glass x reader

MINORS DNI 18+ WORD COUNT: 3.3k SUMMARY: when a lie snowballs out of stephen's control, you swoop in for unorthodox damage control. NOTES: sorry i posted with the wrong title at first | wrote most of this over a year ago, so the style is a bit different, but stick with it trust me | if you say "part two" in the comments, you better come into my inbox with an actual plot or idea that will fit this "au" WARNINGS: f!reader | editor-in-chief!reader | suggestive content including sex and porn mentions so no minors still cos i dont want them on my page ever | deceit | inappropriate contracts.

When you’re the Editor-in-Chief for the biggest magazine of the year, you’ll have a couple thousand rumors spread about you. You wouldn’t pretend that its source wasn’t jealousy that drove poor opinions of you to circle the sandbox. It’s child’s play really, the way sparks of lies catch ablaze to spread like a dry forest’s fire. You’ve always imagined the end of the world to begin and end with a great flood— it was a blue planet after all. With that comforting metaphor, a measly incendium left you unbothered. 

You didn’t have a free moment in your schedule, and it had been like that for months. Being in charge meant shouldering the work of the workers underneath you, and it often meant taking some home with you— work, not workers. Speaking of which, you’d wish you’d find somebody decent to take home. Unfortunately, a relationship really didn’t fit into your hectic calendar. 

It was nice to have a personal assistant. She took care of the unimportant things for you, while you got to work on time and started on your bulleted list in order of priority. Said assistant, Maddy, sat at a desk outside your office, and when she entered to drop off your coffee she picked up, you seized the opportunity to inquire her knowledge on number one on your list. 

Maddy hummed questioningly as you waited, blinking at her over your reading glasses. “Oh!” She clapped her hands together once her memory was jogged. “The New Republic ran something a little detrimental to our brand. Our CEO’s legal team reached out to me to ask you to handle it before they had to step in. The last thing they want is a lawsuit—“ she rambled on and you held up your hand, quieting her. Upturning your palm to invite her to hand you TNR’s piece that supposedly mentioned this company. 

Maddy read your mind, spryly collecting the paper to place in your possession. 

It took seconds for you to scan it, creasing your brows in response to its misinformation. Maddy studied your reaction to its error. For you, this was not a matter of opinion, it was a matter of fact, and required your addressment. 

“Get Chuck on the phone, I want his earliest appointment.”

STEPHEN GLASS moistened his lips as he furiously typed up his latest story, anxious to meet the deadline with a particularly difficult article. His coworker Caitlyn swung in by his door frame. “Yo, Steve, Amy and I wanted to head to the bar after work today. You free?” Caitlyn had figured out the best way to ask him if he wanted to hang out was to put as little pressure on it as possible. He reminded her of a chihuahua…consistently shaken. 

Stephen glanced her way but continued typing. “Yeah? Got it… maybe…” he drawled dreamily, and she concluded he wasn’t entirely listening. 

Inviting herself inside, she slumped into one of his cold, blue, faux leather chairs. “What are you working on anyway?” 

“The Gainsmen piece. I was supposed to have it done already but it got buried.” he responded, eyes glued to the screen as if hypnotized. His hand blindly fumbled for his pen off to the side, like a good friend Caitlyn leaned over to slide the utensil into his fingertips. He banged the end of it against the meat of his thigh, revealing the ink tip so he could scribble some sort of note on his pad, all without ripping his pupils off the growing lines on the monitor. His coworker had never seen him so… intense. To free up his other hand for efficient typing he tucked the staff of the pen in between his lips. 

Stephen had the power to make her worry for him. From what she observed, he was overworked, and spent more time here than he ever did at home when he should be resting. That reasoning eased her into her next question, “You want me to help?” 

A sudden shift in his demeanor, his full attention on her for the first time since she entered his office, raising his brows with a hopeful glint in his dilated pupils. He pinched the pen in his knuckles, balancing the end of it against the corner of his mouth. “Would you?” His disbelief was adorably naive, as if surprised he’d ever receive help… if he deserved it. A smile tugged at Cait’s lips when she nodded, parting them to respond when a slam of a door tore both of their attentions away. 

It was you, the notorious editor of their largest competitor. It had silenced the entire floor, quiet enough to hear your heels click on the thin carpet, and Stephen’s pen drop onto his keyboard. Cait glanced at him as he scrambled to catch it in a failed attempt to prevent its further clattering against the keys. 

Every pair of eyes was on you as you cut through the stations. Your mere presence froze those around you, as if afraid to do something wrong and offend you in some way. At least, some of them anyway. Stephen always thought it was because of how stunning you were. Bone-chillingly authoritative in stockings and a pencil skirt. Behind his glasses his pupils dilated as they scanned from bottom to top, watching you walk further from him through the glass of his office. He gulped, thoughtlessly leaning in his seat to consume every angle of you his limited view from his desk would allow. Caitlyn had faced him again just in time to catch him in the act, and he settled back into his chair as if he hadn’t moved at all. She resisted the urge to flash him a quizzical look as he sheepishly watched himself fiddle with his pen in his lap. 

You did not waver your gaze from your goal, and Chuck had been expecting you. He wore the warmest smile he could muster as he opened his door for you, a headache having come on from the call he received earlier, announcing your scheduled arrival. “Miss (l/n),” he greeted with a nod, and you returned the greeting as he closed the door behind you. The frosted windows left a lot to the imagination of the employees on this floor. Everyone wordlessly agreed to remain reticent in order to eavesdrop on any juicy tidbit they could claw their sleep-deprived hands onto. Not only that, but as if enslaved to their subconscious desires, they shifted closer, gravitating towards Chuck’s office, crudely concealing the way they inclined their ears. 

Stephen’s hands clammed up, and he dropped the pen in between his legs so he could wipe his palms on his pants. He had a feeling he knew what you were here for. 

The conversation inside was indecipherable to the surrounding throng, except for one fragment at the resolution, resounding through the room, causing prying eyes to desperately study your blurred figures in hopes to interpret what kind of violent gestures you punctuated your threat with. 

“I will not be trifled with. My magazine did not tank my first year, it was the year before I was brought on board.” Able to see your arm raise, clutching a fluttering page, and slam it down onto Chuck’s desk. “When I came on I saved that establishment. I’m sick of reading about how the last Editor’s fault was mine! I expected more from The New Republic.” You had straightened. “Let a simple fact like this go unchecked in the future and I’ll poach you. Understand?” 

It was impossible to tell whether or not you waited for Chuck’s response before storming out. Stephen still thought you were as elegant as ever, observing you as you strode to the exit. He had suspected why you were here, and what you said at Chuck’s had confirmed it. You had nipped Chuck for signing off on Stephen’s piece. His mouth ran dry when your gaze landed on him. You didn’t recognize him as the man who wrote what you had come to pontificate on. Instead, you saw a boy in glasses, gawking at you from the seat of his desk as you happened to face him and accidentally make eye contact. 

Stephen had no idea you didn’t know who he was, and that assumption caused him to raise his hand at you to offer you a polite smile and a wave. You acknowledged it to be proper, unfaltering in your traipse. Just as soon as you’d left, the floor reignited, bustling and trucking through paperwork as if you’d never appeared. 

Caitlyn, unaware of Stephen’s current situation, had stood from the chair, and leaned against the back of it as she collected her thoughts, narrowing her eyes at Stephen. “What was that?” she inquired slyly, curious as to why Stephen had greeted you so familiarly. According to Cait’s knowledge, you and Stephen have never formally met, and you weren’t exactly the most accessible person to befriend. Casually greeting you was simply not done, unless it was a peer like Chuck. 

Stephen had returned to his monitor, nervously tapping the pen against the desk surface as the gears in his head turned. “What? You mean the wave?” he affirmed with a smile tugging at his lips, about to tell her the truth of why he did it. 

When you re-entered his mind, he idled, reminiscing on your outfit today. How your hips swayed in your smart pencil skirt, the lines of your stockings at the backs of your legs, the tasteful blouse and how it accentuated your exquisite outline. As a writer, Stephen admired your professional work. As an artist, he agonizingly wished he knew you— inside and out. When Caitlyn demanded an answer, Stephen looked up at her with a bashful snicker. “I mean… okay, alright,” He clasped his hands together, reminding himself how sweaty they were. 

“Go on, Steph, I’m waiting,” Cait said in a playful tone, eager to hear the gossip she knew he would inevitably spill. Her favorite source of entertainment was Stephen: the human embodiment of the overflowing cup. 

He longed to do just that, hanging his head briefly before feigning defeat. “We kissed.” he conceded as if it was reluctantly drawn from him rather than readily supplied as soon as it was conjured. He didn’t know why he said that, it just slipped out.

“Hey, Stephen,” Amy peeked her head in, seemingly oblivious of the nature of the conversation he and Caitlyn just shared, evidenced by Amy’s immediate interest in Cait’s gaping mouth, readjusting against the door frame. “Wait, wait, what did you say? What did I miss?” 

Cait flashed a look at Stephen as if to ask permission to repeat what he’d just spread. Stephen merely smiled childishly, and pinched his fingers together at the corner of his mouth, running across his lips pretending to zip them. Caitlyn got the message, nodding, and mimicking him. 

Amy sighed in playful annoyance, which only caused the other two to grin knowingly. “Whatever. Stephen, Chuck wants to see you in his office.” 

One more quizzical look from Cait, and he reassured her, “It’s probably nothing,” He met Amy’s gaze, “Tell him I’ll be right there, Ames.” 

We kissed. He’d said. We kissed. A lie he couldn’t stop pondering, and it snowballed into expansion. At first it was an innocent kiss, as virtuous as a young white flower. When it was received with such shock and entertainment, Stephen couldn’t help himself. A kiss became a heated make-out session at a company Christmas party he snuck into. A make-out became a regular occurrence when you just couldn’t stay away from him. A regular occurrence became seeing each other. Became experimental oral. 

All until it became dirty fucking on the side using your power as an Editor over him. “What am I gonna do? Say ‘no’ to her? No,” Stephen shook his head and sipped his Colombian coffee from the slit in its lid. “No,” he swallowed, “not to an Editor-in-Chief.” His regaling earned him pats on the back and laughter from those taking it as a joke. No one thought he was in any real danger. It’s not like he worked underneath her— in an employment stance. 

He couldn’t give it up. Cooking was one thing, but earning the respect of those around all because a woman made of ice was supposedly wrapped around his finger was another high entirely. One he couldn’t give up, no matter how immoral. He admired you— immeasurably— and still he let those words run out of his mouth faster than he could stuff them back in. Filthy secrets about what you’re like in bed, how rough you like it, what position is your favorite. It’s not like he could reveal those details without unveiling a little of himself and his fantasies as well. 

He never expected that it’d turn out like this. 

Never expected he’d be summoned to your office. 

“Miss—“ Maddy’s clear voice rings in your ear, interrupting you during your process of scratching your notes into the margin of the text. 

You sigh. “Madeline, if you’re here about Frank’s paternal leave again I’ll be forced to fire that baby myself.” 

She stutters, caught off guard by your sour attitude and poorly-timed joke. “No, Miss, I’m here to announce Mr. Glass’s arrival. I made him wait a few minutes- like you asked.” 

You peer up from your work at Maddy who’s in a straight-and-narrow posture by the door as you gesture incredulously with your hand. “Go ahead, send him in.” She nods, and hastily abides by your notion, fetching him. 

This time you don’t redirect your eyes from your thick pile of papers as you annotate, the nervous footsteps of your anticipated company echoing through your cavernous office. He follows the rug across the long pathway to the chair in front of your desk, taking a seat, and the leather creaks against itself. 

He takes notice of your strategic reticence. “Hi.” his wavering voice is a near whisper. Your script comes to a screeching halt. 

“Mr. Glass,” you reply, “you are a man-in-demand, aren’t you?” You swipe a page to the left, noting at the top right to bookmark it. 

Sheepish, Stephen stutters in his response, lips curled politely up, “I- I suppose so. I suppose I wouldn’t know.” To keep him nervous, you hum, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Every movement, no matter how minute, creates the leather din that damn-near echoes in your resonate office-space. He waits for you to speak, and when it becomes unbearable he fills the silence. “Is this about your talk with Chuck– er, Charles Lane? Because- about that, if you just listen–” 

At that, your eyes finally flicker up to meet his. “No, Mr. Glass, it is not.” He swallows. It’s becoming increasingly clear why you’re known as cold. It’s an unforgivable atmosphere, and a shiver runs up his spine powerful enough that he takes his hand to rub his own arm to generate warmth. You stand, and he presses his lips into a thin line, watching your every move as you gracefully close the script on your desk with a rare finesse. “You’ve brought a lot of attention to my door, you know that?” Strategically, Stephen remains silent as you leisurely round your desk. His hands begin to clam up again, and he rubs them on his thighs as he stares hard at his lap. A whole new level of intimidation has been reached being this close to you at the center of your focus. He’s unsure how to play this right now, and he finally registers your proximity when out of the corner of his eye he sees you sit on the edge of your desk adjacent to him. Your smooth legs are crossed within arm’s length of him. You fold your arms over your chest, your unwavering gaze making him feel smaller and smaller. Regardless of that, you can tell he’s not going to break. So you increase the pressure. “Have we met before?”

Big, innocent eyes peer up at you, hesitant to face you as he shakes his head marginally. The instinct to question if you’re mad at him dies in his throat. “No, ma’am.” The panic rises in his chest now that he’s denied having met you aloud, but you can’t possibly know about the lies he’s told, can’t prove he told them. Yet when he meets that piercing gaze, there’s a part of him that wants to come clean to you about everything if it means pleasing you. Though there is his job to think about, what would people say about a writer who lies about sexual encounters with the company’s competitor? It can’t be good.

“Is that a fact?” You raise your brows at him, and he nods slowly. “So, can you tell me why others have a different perception on that?”

He shakes his head.

“Mr. Glass, as frustrating as this all has become, you’re not here so I can berate you.” you concede, and at those words he visibly perks up. You reach over, plucking a folder from across your desk that stretches your body out in a specific way that rides your skirt up. Before he knows it, he’s sneaking a glance at the exposed skin of your thigh, how the flesh pushes together. The promiscuous rumors he’s spread about you and his own animal attraction to you has gone to his head because in that very moment he considers how warm and tepid your thighs must be against his ears. His salivating tongue rolls between his lips. He morphs into the posture of a goddamn saint as soon as you slam the folder onto the surface in front of him, he jolts right into it from the sudden noise, as if a chastising ruler had just struck his naughty hands. “I’m prepared to make you an offer.”

“What is this?” The shiny material of the folder falls open, and he inclines forward to read the cover of the thick stack of papers within it.

“An NDR.”

“An NDR? For what?” Stephen plays dumb, but you naturally would assume he’d know nothing about what this deal entails. You give him a silent moment to scan it. Uneasily, as if he’s reading it wrong, he relays the synopsis of one of the passages. “You want… you want to have…”

“Sex.” you reply casually. “You have heard of it?” you joke. “You paint our encounters so colorfully in your little stories, I assumed you were far from a virgin. Or at least well-versed in porn.”

Stephen can feel his throat closing up, shifting in his seat as he engages with you, his mouth in a permanent gaping position, looking for an opportunity to get a word in. “No, no.” He shakes his head, gesturing to himself at his chest. “You don’t understand, I don’t know what you’re talking about- honest!”

“Mr. Glass.” you chide with a playful curl to your lips. Your hands grip the edges of the wood, leaning towards him as if you’re exchanging coy secrets. “Don’t be modest, you’d make a killing in the fictional industry. Whatever are you doing at The New Republic?”

He rallies, sharply inhaling through his nose. “Let me just get out of your hair, and we can forget this whole thing happened—” he pleads, and in an effort to remove himself from the confrontation, he rises from his seat. Your hand gives him a firm push at his chest, planting his ass right back where it belongs.

“Mr. Glass, by all means I’m not keeping you here against your will, but need I remind you: I am not to be trifled with. Forgive me for being indelicate, but why not have the real thing?”

A second of silence passes, and Stephen gulps. You stand, and return to your chair behind your desk. “Think about it.” you tell him, and he takes it as his cue to leave, hastily gathering himself to stride towards the exit. 

[hiraethminds]

This is a tangent, I'm here to entertain with needless rambling

The deep rooted hatred for taco I see in the II community genuinely concerns me. Especially since those people tend to be Mephone "apologists"(For lack of a better word, I love Mephone don't get me wrong) despite how taco is the "active" side of the coin to his "passive". The connections between them are there trust me Im connecting the dots. Ive connected them.

I understand that she's done bad things, but blaming her for her shortcomings when she doesn't and never had the same support group to change as Mephone did makes me a little ehh.. Getting upset because Microphone showed her support in the new episodes simply because you don't like the ship(I understand why people wouldnt but thats not an excuse to deny her anything), and because Taco doesn't know how to change yet and you refuse to see her as anything redeemable. I'm not big on shipping, thats not the point of this tangent, but Taco finally having someone to support her and help her change is a GOOD thing. Microphone was being the bigger person there, she was being mature and thoughtful because Taco clearly needs the help. The fact that people continue to deny Taco any kind of growth even if she goes about it in the wrong way makes me deeply uncomfortable. Because the moment any character does anything bad that isn't HER they don't say anything about it. She was shunned by her peers because she was playing the game and continued to 'play the game' so to speak.

Theres a deep rooted hint of misogyny in the way they treat her, but I wont yap about that you dont need to read allat.

I understand people have reasons for not liking characters! That's ok. But I've seen them actively go out of their way to harass people that DO like Taco and actively criticize enjoying her character.

They tend to take it as defending her actions. Which is not what's happening. I don't think oscommunity could handle vriska is all I'm saying.

Feel free to not answer this I just need whatever little imp is telling me to scream about it to get out. go draw a taco dis is driving me crazy

Thank you for dumping this in my inbox bigbarf200, I feel like a wise confidant.

okay so I don't interact/observe with the wider ii community (Mainly cuz i like playing with my touys without being bothered) So this information is so Interesting to me!!!

As you mentioned, the hate might stem from misogyny (and by the way, I’d love to read your essay—talk all you want, my friend!). This is a societal issue that affects every part of life.

That said, I also think some people might dislike her simply because she’s a hustler and stubborn. When she has a goal, she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it, even if it means crossing into morally gray areas.

holding Mepad hostage > hijacking the show

lying and deceiving objects with good intentions > winning s1

seriously hurting Fan > winning Mic immunity

as you said in the greater scheme of things, she's genuinely done horrible things. But if you just accept that at face value you are missing out on such an amazing character. You have to consider her perspective and the circumstances of her birth (especially in a story like ii!!) to fully understand and come to an option on her. But I digress this is baby level analysis so ill move on.

people who think Mic being friendly towards Taco post e14 is out of character are misunderstanding Microphone as both a character and thematic device I think

that's literally the only rational reason I could think of as to why people would be mad about taco and mic being on good terms???

so yeah, these haters just sound like crazy irrational people who have a lot of pent-up emotions. crazy

anyways ty!!! I feel like I didn't have alot to add since, as stated, these people are just incredibly irrational. but its nice getting an earful of whagh the fuck the community is like. here are soem taco drawings for the occasion

[frozenjokes]

After years of thinking... I finally want to know what is CUBGUY and his boyfriend's MBTI aka the 16 personalities

You’ve opened Pandora’s box with this one my man because I am a psych major that HATES personality tests however that did not stop me from taking the test three times (this one which I hate specifically because the commercialization of personality tests to measure worth is evil BECAUSE THEY DONT WORK. THEY ARE NOT A GOOD MEASURE OF PERSONALITY OR WORTH AND HAVING TO TAKE THIS FUCKING FOR LITERALY JOB APPLICATIONS INSTEAD OF IT JUST BEING A FUN THING TODO IN YOUR FREE TIME IS FUCKING AURYRHEUSHDHUDUSHDJSHSJAHSUSUSJ KILLING BITING MAIMING GRAGAGSHGEHWDGSHHS I HATE. HER.) anyway. I can be normal about this subject I promise.

normal elsa: haha hey guys! I took the personality test for my ocs! yippeee!!! from left to right we have Cub, Scar, and Grian. thanks for the ask! this was fun!

but it’s not about having fun is it

so anyway I took notes. So you may have noticed some things don’t look quite right here. I mean, Cub looks fine! That’s pretty accurate even! Scar too, look at him go! … wait a minute. Grian’s not nice!!!! Or poetic!!!!!!! Is altruism even real????????????? (It is and I feel strongly about this but altruistic as an adjective to describe a person i believe is doing a disservice to the definition because what they MEAN is ‘selfless’ not altruistic but while we’re on the topic of selflessness Grian is fucking NOT)

So why did this happen. I don’t really care that the personality test got someone wrong, but I am interested in Why that happened, and why a test like this will never get a character like Grian correct.

Put simply, the answer is that this test wants to make you Feel Good. Now, having fun isn’t a crime and oftentimes personality tests are there to have fun, but the danger of something like this is that the MBTI isn’t presented as a low stakes fun activity, it’s presented as fact. Look. This is you! This is a good, objective measure of your personality, aren’t you great? You’re awesome :)! Here’s a list of vague-enough sentiments that probably apply to you based on the questions we asked. Yippee! its a really clever and extremely affective trick.

While the little blurb for Scar describes him relatively well, nearly every description of his ‘personality’ besides extroversion read pretty inaccurately, and that’s because the focus is so positive. The thing is, Grian and Scar are largely very self serving people (/neutral tone). They are often more worried about themselves than others, they’re impulsive, and that’s not all they are, but it’s pretty impossible to get at someone’s actual personality without recognizing what makes people flawed.

The closest I think the MBTI test gets to probing at this idea of potential selfishness are questions that are meant to test thinking versus feeling. Do you consider someone’s sensitivities in if they conflict with reason? Are you more concerned with facts or emotion? Logos versus pathos. That kinda stuff. But ultimately the MBTI test doesn’t really care about selfishness, it doesn’t care about flaws, it just cares about making you feel good baybe! So these neutral questions don’t really come back in any meaningful way. The MBTI is concerned about making caricatures of people, not accurately measuring their personality and that Matters because its so often treated as scientific, at least good enough to be used in consideration for jobs and work and school and all sorts of stuff.

And I could go on but the problem with modern personality tests goes so so so much deeper, even in more controlled, more science oriented fields like psychiatry. The system for diagnosing personality disorders is somewhat similar to a personality tests are at the very least aided by them, falling on a straight lined spectrum of Openness, Consciousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. But this system Sucks and everyone knows it sucks because comorbidity between clusters (A, B, C) of personality disorders is Insanely High. I wish I had the exact percentages, but I can’t quite find the information I’m looking for, but the point is that if the rate of comorbidity between different disorders is So High, how do you know these disorders are correctly defined at all? If a person more often than not has Disorder A and Disorder B at the same time, who’s to say they’re all that different at all? In general, a lot of the criteria for diagnosing a personality disorders is Really similar, so in general it’s a section of the DSM that needs a pretty massive overhaul.

I don’t envy personality psychologists man their job is Tough (and in my opinion, kind of impossible. there’s too many roadblocks in making an objective test. It is. Eugh.)

TLDR: the MBTI test is about as decisive as a fortune cookie and it literally can’t be anything more because then you would realize its lying to you. amen

[racingheartstopper]

Hi, I was reading the posts about “calling Lestappen is a stupid ship”, and reminds me of how I begin to ship Lestappen this year (not a very nice year to begin hah). Sorry if i do things wrong first time use anon ask (i dont even think i turned on ask anonymously)

It is exactly because they are not friends (let alone besties). They get along with each other well but they are not friends. I didn’t ship them when I begin to watch F1 racing, and began to wow when I saw Max looking at Charles. I thought they weren’t familiar with each other, but turns out Max cares a lot about Charles, so I was like LEMME SEE WHATS HAPPENING HERE. The fact that they enjoy staying with each other, both live in Monaco, having common friends but choose not to hang out too much is so interesting and funny. It’s more like they choose not to hang out together. I honestly dont think they will run out of topic when they sit together, but they choose not to do so is something I can’t get over with. Just like how they are not following each other on Instagram. And that famous video Charles cannot answer if Max is pretty kicks me into Lestappen!!! Charles is PR trained even during that time, but he made that question so awkward it’s almost like he tries too hard to hide the feelings that he forgot to put the proper PR face on. And he cannot stop thinking about Max after that question, he even give the light colour eye question for free. Like I know immediately he was fully thinking about Max for that ten or something seconds. Something between them made them not besties, not gonna hang out too often, too simple to say rivals, too much complex feelings. 

And how rb pr treats Lestappen ship. Max is the type of person cannot pr even if he tries. The rb pr does it in such a smart way that almost make me feel its because it would be better to put this into the sun rather than pretend the feelings never exists.

I think if one day they become besties, openly follow each other’s account, hang out often, openly say they think the other one looks so handsome all ppl in paddock are crazy about other, and hug each other firmly properly like how they choose to do to others, that’s the day I can officially graduate from the ship.

Sorry this is long, its just that blog you reposted reminds me a lot of how I begin to ship Lestappen. Enjoy the day :DDD

Hi, don’t worry, my first time using it too!

And I so get what you are saying! For me it was kind of the same, only a bit earlier. Somewhere early in ‘21. Was just online when I saw something lestappen. And I was like those two don’t even like each other. And bear in mind there used to be a lot less content and interactions than we have now. But the dynamic got me hooked.

After that the story kind of wrote itself.

It’s just fun. And at the end of the day. A ship is all it is and hope we can enjoy that peacefully in the confinement’s of tumblr

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n ex), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

°•More under cut•°

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

Trops:

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk!

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

Whats wrong with me? Im the schools most popular girl. Known for being pretty, smart, funny, outgoing, always going to parties, for sports (volleyball), having the perfect boyfriend, and being perfect overall. But now you are known for a fight with Heeseung's ex. Hwang Yeji. The SECOND most perfect girl in town. But now shes the first all because of a fight? Heres how it started.

You went to jakes party even tho you werent gonna and werent allowed to. Heeseung was there. You were there. And Yeji was there. The trio that was known for DRAMA in the past year. And oh dear, it was because of Yeji. Last year you got in a fight with her and it was not that bad but oh boy did you not know she was coming for you again. Yeji walks up to you and Heeseung and touches his arm rubbing his biceps. "Hee i missed you!" She says in the most annoying tone you swear you have ever heard in your 20 years of life. "Oh, uhm can you like not touch me?" Heeseung says clearly uncomfortable. "But baby our love language is Physical Touch." She says still touching his biceps. "Yeah sure. But who is we? And not with you it's not." Heeseung replies back trying to get her off him. At that point you were pissed off and almost wanted to punch her. But perfect you not wanting to ruin your reputation you didn't and because you were simply too nice. Annoyed enough you left to see if your friends were there. (even tho they said they wouldn't be there they were?)

When you went to your friends you guys were having THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. I mean like, getting drunk without a worry, dancing around, and just talking having fun in general. Soon you hear "YEJI WHAT THE FUCK!" From Heeseung's side of the room. It was Yeji. Again. But this time she was with Heeseung, touching his abs and chest. You look down to see his shirt was ripped off with nail marks on it. You looked at Yeji's nails. Long, almond shaped nails. Before beating the shit out of Yeji you were told to wait for Yunjin to pull out her camera... You in fact DID NOT wait. You punch her in the stomach repeatedly. Yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Until Yeji kicks your legs first to make you weak not being able to walk. Leaving you injured with Heeseung left shock she left the party.

You check online and there were MULTIPLE videos about the fight. But they werent praising you this time. It was all "Yeji is so strong to a girl who arm curls 80 pounds." "Haha! Im so mad i missed the fight." "Losing to the SECOND most popular? Nah she IS the most popular." Your friends try to cheer you up by taking you to a dog cafe.

"Whats wrong with me!" you ask while rubbing your legs from pain. "Ynnie, its not your fault." Wonyoung replies. "Yeah, really yn. Yeji is a fucking pain in the ass. She deserved that fucking kick in the ass." Karina adds on. "Wait like YEJI YEJI. Like Hwang Yeji? My brothers ex?" Yunah also adds. "I dont wanna talk about it." You say while eating.

< Previous - Masterlist - Next >

AN: Ahhh! Im back. (You did NOT miss me lol) A filler but somehow a lil bit long. Yet again my school is falling apart :/ (whats new tho?) And ive been playing in my schools volleyball league so i have NO free time whatsoever. But I hope your enjoying my "lil" ff series!

[twosdays-trash]

So ive had this idea for a while to continue where the Tooned McLaren left off at season one and exploring the things that may have happened between the end Season 1 and the start of Tooned 50.

Basically what I've got going in my mind is that after Lewis gets changed to Sergio, Prof. And Jenson are happy that "Lewis" is ok. Fretting over him and dragging him to medical to make sure that there weren't any major issues with the glitches, like organs being rearranged, bones fusing, or what have you.

So they bring him in, and medical is also doing the regular concussion protocol: what's your name, when is your birthday, what's today's date, who's the president, etc. and as the doctors go through it they realize that this isn't Lewis. But, as doctors should be, they stay respectful and dont voice their realization out loud just yet.

They go through with X-rays, CT scans, MRIs, blood tests, everything to make sure that nothing is wrong physically. And once all the tests are back (which would be pretty fast bc fanfic physics) they see that he is 100% ok!

So "Lewis" leaves the medical area and meets up with Prof. and Jenson, and they realize that Lewis looks kinda. Different. And they voice their realizations to him. But "Lewis" is confused because, what do you mean i sound different and look different and act different? This is how ive always been???

So prof and jenson are kinda freaked the fuck out! Like, Why is lewis. Not lewis? And while their freaking tf out Checo is like, erm... Im gonna find somewhere to chill because yall are freaking ME out. So he leaves and the other 2 dont even notice.

And then the doctor comes out a little bit after checo leaves and tells prof and jenson that all scans and blood tests have come back positive. No concussion, no fused or mangled organs, bones and blood work are good, everything is fine on a physiological level. But there is something that they (the doctors) are kinda worried about, which is memory loss or alteration.

And the doctors tell prof and jenson how all the answers they got in the eval pointed towards "lewis" having altered memories and a changed personality. They recommend that they treat this "new Lewis" like a new person, and to tread carefully since if he gets too much information all at once that could be an issue and cause complications with him getting his memories back.

So they're like, yeah ok we can do that, then make their way over to wherever Not Lewis is to meet him properly?

When they find him they apologize for reacting how they did (like crazy freaks) and just sorta ask ice breaker questions for colleagues 101.

Oh whats your name? Sergio. oh cool, do you have any nicknames? Yeah, its Checo. Its pretty common in Mexico, Feel free to use it. Nice nice... Sooo... Whats your favorite music artist? Hmm id have to say Alejandro Sanz, i think. Oh thats cool, ive never heard of him. Yeah hes a popular spanish artist. Mmm good to know. And so on and so on.

And oh boy is it awkward. Checo is confused as to why hes being basically interrogated by two guys he vaguely recognizes.

Then later they bring him in for some testing in order to see if he is or isn't a f1 driver. To make sure that if he has no memory or knowledge of driving, the rules, or terms that McLaren are able to get a replacement driver as soon as they can.

As they go through with these tests they realize that he does in fact have the knowledge and ability to drive a f1 car at the level of other f1 drivers. Which is a relief for them because they don't need a new driver and since Checo didn't lose ALL of his memories as Lewis there is still the chance of Lewis coming back.

And everyone is so caught up in being excited that Lewis might "come back" that they forget that Checo is his own person. So they treat him the same as they would Lewis, completely ignoring forgetting what the doctors said about treating him differently.

They make jokes at Checo, push him around a bit like they would with Lewis because Lewis was pretty physical when it came to jokes and stuff, they tease him and make references to things in the past that Checo doesn't remember.

And Checo voices this, says he dosent know what their talking about. That he dosent get the reference or joke. And everyone is just like, Meh its ok, you'll remember and be back to yourself soon anyways.

No one realizes that this is making Checo feel really shitty. Cause imagine. You wake up in this weird place with fuzzy memories of your past, only strongly remembering how to drive f1 (and lower class) cars and your identity. Then suddenly you're thrust into a shit load of testing. Only to have everyone assume that you arent yourself, he may have come from Lewis he is not Lewis. For everyone to treat him like hes gonna be gone later this week and Lewis will be back in his place. Its draining!

And so as the weeks go on they "integrate" him into the team again, catching him back up on the mechanics and PR training. And slowly people start to realize that Checo hasn't turned back to Lewis yet. And Checo is training and working for weeks that turn into months, and everyone comes to the conclusion that maybe Lewis isnt coming back.

Its after months of Checo trying to make everyone realize he is his how person, he will never be Lewis no matter how much McLaren wants him to be, he just isnt, is that everyone stops calling him Lewis or Lew or some kinda fucked up mix between the name. Its only after hes been basically stripped of the only identification that he had waking up here, do they accept that he isnt Lewis.

And Checo is rightfully mad! So he snaps and calls out their Bs, You called me Lewis for months! I told you! everytime you called me Lewis I told you! I said my name is Sergio not Lewis and you just brushed me off! Youve been saying for MONTHS "oh its fine youll be back to lewis soon!" Am i back yet? Am i Lewis yet?!

Everyone is stunned and like oh shit we messed this up majorly. They set to fixing their mistakes, but that's a huge mountain to climb. And Checo is NOT gonna make it easy for them either.

And thats all ive got for now! Ive got some physical sketches drawn out that i might post on my art account ( @markotheartshark ), so if you wanna see that let me know! Ive also got about 1k written of this is actual Fic form but i dont think it will get past that since i have no clue where to go with it 😭 i might also post that if thats what the masses want.

Anyways i hope you enjoyed this little rant idea ive had!

[wetcatspellcaster]

Did you see Neil Newbon’s take that Ascended Astarion is the real him free to act on cruelty and violence and the spawn is the one with the mask? Yeesh.

Ooooooh, THAT'S the disk horse that's happening right now!! I knew something was happening (I felt a tremor in the waters) but I had no clue what it was lmao, I don't follow cast stuff.

I will try to respond to this in good faith, but I'm not very good at fandom discourse and so I'm afraid it may not be the answer you want.

I can see why that reading might make people angry, but I dont have strong feelings about it. Obviously, it's not my take on Ascension, but from the beginning I've been very upfront that my take is serving the genre I'm writing in and the ship dynamics I find hot. My Tav is lawful good to an unhealthy extreme, and that was how she was conceived in her Early Access bullying phase. And meanwhile, I wanted to be in a Gothic horror where he's obsessed (morality chains will do that to you) and they beat the shit out of each other. I have to make the Ascendent a monster, for that to work, and for people not to feel guilty every time they enjoy watching him getting stepped on lmao.

But I do feel like there is a morality policing around Astarion's ending that I don't want to partake in. This might seem dumb for me to say, given that my Tav is a veritavle walking moral policeman, but that is bc I fucking love Villain/Heroine ships, so I am literally right there, at the Devil's Sacrament with everyone else.

While I like the good ending and prefer it for many reasons, I would agree with a reading of Newbon's words that it could be read as a mask. This might be bc I mask with the best of them, am doing it right now even as I write and edit this ask 20 times. There's masking as an outright lie, and then there's masking as 'gotta get through day to day life as a functional adult without everyone suddenly deciding they hate me'... I personally think its nice that spawn!Astarion cares about other people, and cares about being a functional member of society at all! It shows he's no longer a lonely outcast.

I could also go deeper (the autism really shining through in this reply) and say it's a mask, in the sense that this has been deemed the 'polite' and morally correct ending, that is acceptable to others and enables the player to feel good about themselves. Which is often a way we derive pleasure from media, and not wrong in and of itself! Making Astarion good makes players feel good - that's not wrong, but if we're comparing endings, we have to acknowledge it. An Ascended Ending doesn't really cater to that impulse... unless the player really likes to be dommed (more power to them).

Unfortunately anon, I can't sit here with my most popular fic being an Ascended!Astarion fic, and pretend that there isn't a bunch of fascination or interest surrounding the Ascended version of his character. People clearly want to explore the implications of his evil ending and indulge in the excess of it, but feel bad doing so. People don't ascend him in-game, but they go to my fic and other people's fic because they want to have some space to enjoy the implications - in the sexiness, in the timeline where Astarion has revenge, in a timeline where he is obsessed with Tav etc. I mean, just look at me, I can't sit through the Ascended scene, but I'm here writing a fic about it!!

The fact that it seems to happen more in fic than in playthroughs tells me, if I was to get super deep in a tumblr ask, that people feel guilt about it. Some kind of mask is being employed, by someone, somewhere, in that mix. So I'm not about to add to any of that kind of policing. It would be pretty disingenuous of me to get my most feedback from an Ascendent fic I am writing, and then judge people for liking Ascendency narratives...

So while I don't have much interest in pretending the evil ending isn't the evil ending, that doesn't sound to me (second hand, through you, with my brain seeing 7 or 8 different implications) to be what Newbon is saying. He's just saying that the Ascendent is the less palatable Astarion to other people and that spawn!Astarion still has some kind of mask or a politeness filter on. Which... yeah. Kinda. In my world, I like that Astarion decides its worthwhile to restrain himself, because he has things to care about potentially ruining. But that's still in many ways employing restraint. People don't just stop masking, they learn to care about what others think in a healthy way. They have friendships, relationships, other ties to the world, that make them want to be something other than a cruel or violent or evil version of themselves. I think that's nice, and far less lonely but um... yeah. I can see Newbon's point, even if I don't want to like, live or die by it.

[ppnuggie]

　　　　　　TRAILCUTTER x female reader

　　　　『　trailcutter ,, female reader 』

　　-> pt . 1 / teebs w/ a reader that works for cybertronian/human relations

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort ,, reassurance <3

　　— just a little series of mine ill work on :3 feel free to request any of them <33 ive got a few short series in mind ,, one w/ drift in a fast n furious sorta au w/ undercover cop reader ,, one w/ tracks n a cop reader ,, theres another short series im doing w/ the minibots (including rung + minimus) w/ the reader on the lost light :D

— feel free to reblog or give any comments / feedback ! <3 i enjoy reading them and seeing my work spread !

        fixing the bowtie to your suit ,, you heard trailcutter sigh in the background . fixing any stray strands of hair left out ,, you turned around to your lover . " you doing okay ?" you asked with a head tilt ,, eyes staring into his own visor as he flashes a small smile . "alls good ,," he brushed it off . though you kept your stare fixated on him ,, frowning . " nervous ,, maybe ,," he casted his helm to the side . he couldnt keep his troubles hidden ,, you knew him too well for that .

        " it'll be alright teebs ,," you reassure the bot ,, walking over and placing your hand against his leg . he would have to mass displace for the interview . as the liason for earth ,, people on the planet were curious about your new relationship with one of the crew members . the government didnt say much ,, but you knew they didn't approve of it . though people on earth were thrilled ,, an interspecies relationship ! the first of it ,, with humans that is .

        and so one of the few famous reporters were interested in doing an interview with you both . saying they want to know about life in space ,, how it was aboard the lost light ,, and what its like to be with a cybertronian . trailcutter ,, lord bless his spark ,, he was all for it ,, but now that he started to think it through ,, he was nervous about their reactions .

        it wouldnt be his first ,, or last ,, time around humans . hes been to earth ,, met the residents and seen the sightings ,, but now that he was in a relationship with a human ,, and about to be interviewed ,, he couldnt help but worry about what might happen . what if says something wrong ? or does something to make people think otherwise of interspecies relationships ? especially his with you ? his spark hummed loudly ,, visor dimming as he worried more and more . " hey ,, look at me ." your voice broke his worried thoughts .

he crouched down to your height ,, or as best as he could . " you'll do fine ,, i know it ." your hands wrapped around his digit ,, a smile settled upon your lips as you eased his nerves . " if they go overboard or say something that makes you uncomfortable ,, just tell me and we can leave immediately . i promise trailcutter ,, i wont put you in a situation you dont want to be in ." you reassured the bot ,, hands petting his digit . " if you dont want to do this we can call it off ,, and ill message the interviewer . they'll understand ,, im sure ." primus bless you ,, trailcutter really felt like he didnt deserve you . he wouldnt say that out loud though ,, knowing you'd get upset and tell him he shouldnt think that way . but he knows ,, he knows deep down that you mean the world to him ,, that he doesnt really deserve someone as nice and understanding as you . he's lucky to be with you ,, still awestruck at the fact you chose him over any other bot .

you could've chosen rodimus ,, with his bright and flashy paintjob and outgoing personality . you couldve chosen ratchet ,, who could help you with anything and was quite a handsome mech in a way . there was also skids ,, who was more the nice to you and made you laugh often . or even the minibots aboard the ship ; swerve — who knew more about earth than trailcutter did — would be a good match for you . even that little guy tailgate hes seen around . they were better suited for your height ,, and wouldnt have to worry so much about accidentally squishing you underfoot like he does everyday . hell ,, you even could've chosen cyclonus . he had shanix ,, and knew a lot more than he did about anything in the universe .

but you didnt . you chose him ,, a mech with a drinking problem and many insecurities . a mech known as a little horsey to be used for his force fields only . though it was due to those very force fields that had attracted you to strike a conversation with him . giving him more compliments he'd ever receive in his whole life . that little conversation would lead into a friendship ,, and those little moments between you two would blossom into your relationship . you had taken the mech a long way ,, his insecurities started to become something he was starting to feel confident in . while he still drank ,, he didnt do it as often or enough to get overloaded like he usually did .

" thank you ,," was all he could muster . servos wrapped themselves gently around your body ,, lifting you up to his facial plates so he could plant a kiss to your head . " i'm good ,, i'm ready ." he said ,, derma curling into a smile . " you look good with that suit on ,," he commented ,, digit moving up to play with your little bowtie . you raised a brow at that ,, " is that so ?" your lips formed a smirk . " should i wear this more then ?" trailcutter nodded ,, letting out a chuckle . " please ,," he pleaded gently .

[exauhstedsunflower]

I dont even have real thoughts. Just,

When I was 10/11 and forced myself to move on from playing with my Barbie’s because I was exposed to society and growing up and it seemed like something I had to do. Going back for my dolls one day after months deciding I needed to do something I loved only to find out my mom threw them away because I stopped playing with them. Being devastated. This reinforcing that there is something wrong with me because I shouldn’t want to play with dolls anymore anyway. The barbie movie not quite healing that wound but softening the blow when I think about it now.

Getting my nails done in hot pink every time at 12 and then at 13 getting them in blue. Painting my nails pink two weeks ago because I was excited about the barbie move and feeling at peace.

Seeing my best friend since I was 9 in pink for the first time in I cant even remember and us both feeling nostalgic and free and beautiful.

Me being 14 and my brother being 11 and him discovering the patriarchy. Him making sexist jokes. Me screaming at him. My grandmother laughing at us fighting. Me crying about it to this day, even though I’m 22my brother is now 19 and nothing like that anymore. Me seeing myself in Barbie and my brother in ken as they grow apart and then back together. Realizing that even though Ken hurt Barbie, barbie is the one to tell him its ok in the end. Ken not apologizing. Seeing us in them once again and feeling an ache in my chest.

Wanting to watch the scene where Barbie says she doesn’t feel pretty anymore and why she doesn’t feel pretty. Why she doesn’t feel like who she is supposed to be. Her face. My face as I start crying. My heart breaking as I realize that I have felt that, and that if its being portrayed here that it’s a universal experience to have that breakdown, to have a friend say ‘you are beautiful, you are enough. You’re not wrong, the world is.’, to not believe them fully, though you do accept that they’re probably right. The fact that she’s not wearing makeup in that scene. She’s broken down into her barest form, and her barest form is wrecked because the world has fucked her up and made her think she’s not enough.

Barbie panicking as Mattel tries to literally put her in a box. The people that are technically responsible for her, the people who she believes will help her, are not only not who she thought they would be, but they try to put her back in a box. Her not being able to be put back into a box. She knows too much now. She’s seen and felt and thought too much. She can’t be what they want her to be even when they try to force her. Impossible standards not even ending with people you’re meant to trust. Barbie being alone in that moment. Barbie finding a friend who gets it and not being alone anymore. Barbie not realizing that until the friend refuses to let her drown. The friendships that women make under the pressure of the world being something so beautiful and heartbreaking and necessary.

Sasha being exposed to something good and nice in pink for once instead of something hating on whatever the pink thing is and slowly smiling more, becoming herself. How this exposure can help young girls so much. Before this not only hurting herself by distancing herself from her mom and feminism but also hurting other women in the face of the pain society has slowly caused her because she has given up on herself and on society the way society has given up on her and itself.

in the end, Barbie not even advocating for herself even after everything she’s learned about feminism and what the world with do to women who let it swallow them whole. Sasha, who previously was not much of a girls girl, being the one to say “What about Barbie?” Everyone saying “Yeah, actually, what about Barbie?” Because she deserves a happy ending too. Barbie was standing in the back and out of the way not only in this scene but in most of the ending scenes actually, which is a wonderful portrayal of what all of these things that have happened to Barbie can do to a woman, regardless of how strong or empowered she was or may have seemed. Barbie, the main character of the movie, becoming quiet and contemplative and unsure, and relegating herself to the background because of all of this. Barbie being surprised to see people wanting something good for her. Barbie not knowing what she wants. Barbie absolutely knowing what she wants the whole movie but dancing around it because as a woman you are put in a box and you’re not supposed to say what you want. Even as a barbie. (“I have never wanted anything to change!” “I only ever wanted things to stay the same!” “I don’t know what I want anymore.”) but “It takes two to open a portal.” And so many more sly comments about how Barbie caused all this too. Barbie not even being proud of her accomplishments by the ending when they’re in the void. Ruth only figuring out What Barbie wants because of a comment, a self effacing comment. Barbie asking permission to be herself. She’s been affected negatively by the world, and yet is choosing to live in it anyway. As are the women of the world. Barbie didn’t need permission. But she asked anyway, she probably wouldn’t have done it is Ruth said no. If anyone had protested at all. Because as a woman she is self sacrificing and making sure everyone is ok with things before doing it. Ruth not showing Barbie life as a woman in the end, because Barbie already knows what that’s like. She’s not asking to be a woman, she is a woman, she’s asking to be human, for which life is nuanced and beautiful. As is being a woman, though in very different ways.

[darkniters]

i wrote this in 2022, please enjoy

-

sitting by your pc, you're not really paying much attention to the monitors, but more blindly scrolling on your phone. seeing your creator friends making tweets come up on the timeline, and even getting some interactions yourself.

you've got one ear under your headphones, the other laying limp behind your ears, when suddenly a familiar notification chimes from your pc, the same on your phone.

you've received a discord message! but sitting in a ball on a chair seems much more appealing right now, maybe the notification can sit for a bit?

the thought wasn't properly considered, as you were already leaning forward to move your mouse, clicking on the messaging application.

it's a dm from ted!

the single way conversation read as such:

YOU.

you better answer you stupid son of a bitch or i will rain hellfire upon you

HURRY UP

they were all sent within the same minute.

pls be nice to me ted nippleson

what do you want, i have no more corpses in supply, you're gonna need to wait another week for that.

are you INSANE

i do not CARE for your pitiful corpses, fool

however i have made you something (oooh ted i wonder what it is)

you couldn't deny you were weary of what ted prepared for you, but curiosity consumed you as you continued to type on your keyboard with satisfying clicks.

i am very frightened ted

have i ever told you that you are a very scary man

nope, but its good to know that i have that sort of power against you.

anyways, i hope you like this, took me a bit to put together

[ link ]

looking over the link, it sent you to spotify, and you clicked into it. a gasp escaped your throat.

ted made you a playlist! and it had some of your favorite songs and some of his own. this was the first time anyone ever made you a playlist, and you were deeply touched by it. another discord message was sent.

it was very difficult to put together, please oh please im begging on my knees make more playlists public i can't keep guessing the songs you like from twitch con 2 years ago.

ted you actually got it super on point, very impressive top man!

yea cause im never wrong (y/n)

you switch the playlist on, it didnt seem to be in a liminal order. scanning through the songs, he was REALLY on point. you read the description of the playlist.

whats up pussy supreme (you are scared of me, admit it)

you've been on the ted nivison brain waves recently, and yea we talk and game a lot but i feel like a thank you is in order, so check it out! a playlist of the shit you listen to (and some of what i listen to too)

thank you for taking quality time out of your life to talk with my stupid ass

reading this, a smile never left your face. the fact that he even did this in the first place was just so nice!

DUDE you killed that shit

i gotta like make something in return

you silly goose

the reason i made the playlist to arch over both of our music tastes is so you dont need to do anything!

YOURE DEBT FREE

DUDE ILL FEEL BAD

ILL HAVE SOMETHING READY IN A FEW DAYS

NO LEAVE IT ITS FINE

I JUST MADE IT CAUSE WE TALK ALL THE TIME AND WE GAME TOGETHER

I DONT NEED SOMETHING BACK YOU USING YOUR TIME TO TALK IS ENOUGH

PLEASE

ITS OKAY

naaaah i'll make you something for sure dude

spending my time is bare minimum, you do the same with me!

new songs keep playing during the conversation, but when 4:00 comes around, teds gotta head out

alright wise guy

you're lucky i have a video to record right now

or else this would continue

enjoy recording dude, im gonna keep listening to this playlist that you've created for my fine ass

FINE???

YOU ARE THE GOOFIEST MOTHER FUCKER IVE EVER MET

DO NOT CALL YOURSELF FINE

BITCH

D:

i hope your video corrupts

and you

shit yourself during recording

and you lose power

YOU DONT MEAN THAT

I DO????

conversation then fizzled out.

you took one more glance over the playlist and noticed something.

some of these songs were made for confession.

you didnt question it, maybe it was done because he likes them, but also some of them were completely out of the ordinary im the playlist, and stuck out like a sore thumb.

little did you know, ted put those in deliberately, seeing if you'd notice and ask about it. maybe not now, but at some point. and maybe, just maybe, he'd have the balls in telling you how he actually feels.

[chiisana-sukima]

ive actually been thinking about it a lot since i posted that and i agree with you that general rape culture is part of the reason people don't notice that sam gets sexually assaulted

like the scenes that are cut and dry sexual assault scenes (no magic. no hell. no magic potion shit) usually portray the woman like a black widow/femme fatale type i.e meg in nightmare and we're so used to seeing those scenes that they don't even register because its the idea that women get their power from sex and being attractive ya know?

so i do think it's less that male victims are played as jokes since most of the time i think the scenes are played pretty straight (for the most part, they guy in tall tales is a big exception and there are sooooo many rape jokes but actual scenes, we usually see sam and dean as not enjoying these things and the audience are meant to root for them to get away so) and more that we're just used to the idea that this is the way women *can* intimidate men ya know?

(also feel free not to answer if you dont feel comfortable <3)

Yup, I think everything you said here is 100% true, and that there are other factors at play too that fit under the "rape culture" umbrella.

You absolutely will not believe some of the insane, hardcore rape apology shit people will say to me in defense of pretend SA in a silly TV show, even after they know I'm a survivor. Because of the demographic of spn Tumblr fandom, most of these conversation partners are liberal women or AFAB nbs. And apparently honestly unaware what they're saying is deeply offensive and horrifying. Some of them are legitimately Sam fans. And to make matters even more tragic, often they are survivors themselves.

Mostly I think we are all--all genders included--afraid. Afraid we could lose control of our bodies, our relationships, our home inside the vessel where we store our Self. It makes us so defensive that to have someone talk about it without subterfuge is seen as a threat rather than an act of human fellowship.

And then as one big part of the defense against that fear, we often emotionally accept--even if intellectually we know it's not true--the pervasive lie that strong, upstanding people can't be raped, and especially that men can't be raped unless there is something so fundamentally wrong with them that they no longer count as part of the social category "men". And we accept the converse lie too; that good people can't rape, and therefore if someone isn't 100% irredeemable the sexual assault alleged by their victim can't really have happened. I see this in fandom with both on-screen and off-screen SA, with SA jokes, and across male and female perpetrators.

A couple examples under the cut. The cut is there in case you aren't a masochist and don't like the feeling of needing eyeball bleach.

SA happens because you're a bad person:

Tbf to OP, post one is liveblogging 12x02, where we don't know immediately that it's SA. Otoh they felt no need to liveblog the reveal that Sam wasn't in fact a dirty whore who was fucking his torturer because he's just that slutty. And the later post on why Sam gets sexually assaulted so often, is not substantially different reasoning

Or maybe it's not SA at all. Because you're a bad person and also crazy (italics at the beginning are a quote from me):

It's not rape if I like the rapist, plus bonus you made me do it because you're a bad person:

And the all time, best ever, gold metal winners, from Mark P and Sebastian Roche:

Video of the panel is gone, but there is contemporaneous liveblogging:

This is from a con in January 2015. Sooooo right after O Brother Where Art Thou when Lucifer made the rape joke/threat while Sam cried. Could totally have been consensual though, because Lucifer isn't as bad as people make him out to be, dontchaknow. And Mark P is a nice guy who respects women (lol), so obviously it wasn't a rape joke. He would never. (┛`д´)┛彡┻━┻

[zroqravity]

no you are literally so right about the patreon thing though

i don't wanna be a hater on my blog so I'm gonna be on anon, but it is genuinely a stupid financial decision.

also like.

why the fuck was the update on patreon only??? if it concerns riptide, their main campaign??? like at least make a community post (they didn't have a problem making community post for merch for an exclusive campaign but they can't talk about hiatus on there??? weird)

also a thing that annoys me is the fact that they still have ads and shit on episodes, they have sponsorships. and it's not weird, every single podcast with a patreon I listen to has that (dndads, which they actually made a reference to once in an intro, naddpod) but they're the only ones that have activity on patreon and NO activity on main feed. it's weird!

and those podcasts manage to have active main campaigns while also having successful patreons! i understand that for the boys it's like a main job and so the pressure to have it pay off is high. but it's just not gonna if they move to patreon completely. it never works! I've seen people try so many times and it never works because patreon just doesn't work like that. it literally advertises itself as a place for exclusive content and it ain't exclusive if it's The Only thing that exists.

anyway I think they should have prioritized getting wanderlust out first (if they make it like the suckening I swear to fucking god I'll explode), THEN doing a patreon mini-campaign and then coming back with riptide. or better yet, posting the mini campaign along with riptide coming back to lure people in. would work on me if patreon wasn't locked away from regionally

they're just managing it all rather poorly tbh. like I get it? they're making money and I would also prioritize that shit, I understand. but at this point some of it just feel disrespectful. like posting the update on patreon of all places (not even fucking twitter???? or smth?)

anyway anyway. sorry for getting all of this off my chest in your askbox I just. most people I follow and/or am mutuals with for jrwi have patreons and i just feel like I can't complain about it. yknow? it's probably just in my head but yeah. you're so right

THE UPDATE THING YEAH I DIDNT KNOW I COULD ACTUALLY WATCH IT FOR FREE FOR QUITE A WHILE! It'd reeallllly weird to only put it on patreon especially when they have posted things of this sort on twitter in the past and at least made a community post abojt it on youtube, I can't think of exactly why they did this honestly but just the fact that they did it makes me suspicious despite there not being anything technically wrong with it and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

also they have ads enabled on patreon stuff?? Yeah that is kinda weird and something I've never thought about before. Also a big fan of dndads here, in my original repay to the ask I actually mentioned them as a podcast who uses their patreon well but decided to delete it.

PATREON IS REGEON LOCKED??!?!@ THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE NOT ONLY ARE THEY LEAVING OUT FANS RHAT DONT PAY BJT ALSO SOME THAT WOULD PAY BUT JUST HAPPEN TO LIVE IN THE WRONG PLACE??????#@ AND THESE PEOPLE WOUNDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO SEE THE UPDATE

yeah they are handedly this shit very poorly, I'm glad my asks could be somewhere for you to talk about this bc I know how frustrating this is, I'm really glad I finally got the guts to speak more about this bc its something I've had a big problem with for a while and it's really nice to see that it's not actually all in my head and I'm not just being a hater unreasonably like I tent to think i am

Sorry for the late reply, my reply to your other ask will come even later, sorry again o7

[thebearemoji]

My thoughts on the astarion romance (spoiler: they're not good)

Hoo boy going right from the wonderful bliss of karlach's romance to this.... dark mess of despair was a hell of a whiplash.

So I'm gonna assume if you clicked on that read more that you don't care about spoilers. If that's not true then dont read this. To be clear we're on the same page, astarion has two potential outcomes. You let him complete cazador's ritual and ascend to big boy vampire or you stop him from completing it.

The game made the choice to make a statement with the outcome of astarion's quest. If you don't break the cycle of abuse, then you're perpetuating it. Astarion after completing the ritual is much more cazador than himself. The romance takes this one step further, the only way to continue it if the ritual is completed is to willingly become astarion's spawn. The game implies in no uncertain terms that you will meet the same terrible fate he was so recently trapped in. Cazador's master tortured him. Cazador tortured astarion. One way or another Astarion will torture you.

He even has a line of dialogue after you reject him along the lines of "Of course I'm familiar with love. I would've tormented it out of you until you had nothing left if you'd let me." That's just the start. Just about every line to come out of a romanced evil astarion is stunningly toxic, he pretends to love you, threatens to leave you, all to get you to agree to become his spawn. You can even read his mind to find out he thinks you're degrading yourself by staying with him. It's stunningly dark, and part of me respects the writing for sticking so hard to their guns.

Speaking as a fan of roleplay focused games, this did take me off guard. I'm accustomed to games treating evil choices as options to explore your characters and develop a sense of gray morality. Because... it's a video game for fun and sometimes its fun to do silly pretend evil things and twirl my pretend evil mustache. But bg3 will occasionally treat evil choices as sins that the narrative will punish you for, sometimes immediately, sometimes later down the line. And astarion is undeniably one of these choices. A non romanced evil astarion is fine, i guess. but i know i'm not the only one out there who fell into the trap of thinking astarion could be the other half of my evil power couple.

I don't think this is necessarily inherently bad on its own. It severely reduces any desire I have to ever play an evil character again in this game, which sucks because I love minthara. HOWEVER

I got a bone to pick with the good boy astarion romance too.

So of course after the gut punch of evil astarion romance, I reloaded and made him the same good boy i did on my first play through. The subsequent romance scene is nice, and he gets the same beautiful heart-wrenching catharsis that made me sure he was the one I wanted to romance second in the first place.

But throughout all the later conversations, he keeps returning to this idea that he "seduced" my tav. ??? Where. From where I was standing, act 1 he propositions me for casual sex, my tav says yes. Afterwards he proposes continuing to have casual sex, my tav says yes.

And yet he keeps saying these words "I seduced you, manipulated you, used you." And the fact that he's admitting it is meant to show character growth.

But why is the game so determined to make my tav his victim??? Why are those my only two options? The dialogue choices didn't give me a way to say "you didn't manipulate me, I chose to be with you of my own free will, knowing what you are." There's nothing i can do to flip this narrative that my character was used and wronged, even though i dont believe she was. And that left the romance feeling very polarized, like there are only two lenses with which to view romancing astarion.

You are either his victim that he lies to for a grand majority of the game. he doesn't even like by his own admission, he claims he used you for protection. But he grows to appreciate all you did for him and even love you.

Or his helpless thrall, equal parts a victim but hell at least at that point you're embracing the kink of the whole thing.

Tbh, neither of those really do it for me.

In conclusion, astarion is an amazing character, I'm never romancing him again, and finally,

that is all

[residentevilbunni]

idc if i am dramatic. my blog was there for me every single day for six years. i dont have a real life, i dont have any friends, nobody knows me or even who i am or my name. for the first time ever in my life i felt belonging. idc if i am crazy, but i've had nothing and no one for so long, my blog became my best friend. it was there though several heartbreaks. it was there for me during the first worst period of my life, when everything crashed and i broke. it was there when i went through all my rough phases, it was there to catch me and hold me. it was there to listen to me completely judgement free. it was there when i stopped having contact with my father. it was there when my friends left. it was there through all of my health chrises. when i received no help from the health care system, when i was dismissed and ignored and mistreated. when my sisters stopped talking to me. after every traumatic and scary and uncomfortable moment. no matter what it was there to listen to me. i was never alone because i had my blog. my blog i could pour everything into. idc if it is unhealthy because it was all i had. idc if that is chronically online because i dont wanna live in the real world, it is too dangerous and here im safe. idc if none of it is real bc i dont care for reality. and not only the blog itself, but honestly there was the place people were nice to me. irl i have been bullied and discarded and hurt and abused, but people were nice to me?????? that was the first place i've ever experienced that.

idc if im autistic, no other blog feels the same. it just doesnt feel the same. every day for six years that blog was my anchor. it grounded me. it was the sole reason i wasnt so alone i ended it all. when i was sad, i told it. when i felt the urge to show someone all my stupid fucking pics of snails or the sky or whatever, it was always there for me. always. no matter what. i think ppl would think i sound insane but something inside of me is broken, i cannot have real relationships and connections with people. im so far away from everyone. even my mother. and she gave birth to me. im just not fully human, it hurts and i wish i was but im not. i dont talk to ppl, i dont connect, bc im just filling a role so they wont hurt me. my entire existence is just to fawn so others wont hurt me as bad as they could.

i want my blog back bc it is all i had. and the first time i got my blog termed i knew that oh yes i was blogging abt tcc so like i get it. sucks but i get it. this time it was safe for six years, and then just bc i felt upset that some stranger was saying smth hurtful and judged me on one of my vent posts, i got so mad so i told them off. and then half a day later my account got termed for "promoting sh" and idk if it is all my posts abt it i've made or if it was that one fucking picture on that sideblog where i responded to that person, that pic i reblogged from someone else with faint marks. i've seen more and worse on other ppl's blogs. blogs that are still up. why did mine get termed but not everyone elses??? (i dont want that bc im insane and fucked up but i think ppl should post that if they want) but im just so heartbroken bc it is unfair. why is all i had gone?? i once reported a blog w cp and it stayed up for months. mine got termed in less than a day. everything i had gone just bc of one "sh" post. one report.

i cant stop crying. and i just dont care abt anything else. that blog was the first and only time i've felt "home". idc if i sound insane. i am just not like others and i never will be. i was broken and ruined and i just am this way. i cant connect. i dont have anything else. and now its taken from me. i dont feel whole. i feel like the most precious and treasured and beloved piece was stolen from me. theres probably smth very wrong w me for feeling this way for just an account on social media, but, i think it was the only thing i've ever felt truly safe to let myself feel a connection to. and the fact that no matter what happened to me, no matter what other ppl did to me, i would always have my blog to run to... and that i no longer have that is hurting me so much. i think i most likely had some neurodivergent attachment to it bc i just do not feel the same way abt my other social medias. they could delete my instas and pinterests and twitters and i'd be like oh damn that sucks whatever. and i am here crying and typing but i feel removed from this blog. and all my others. it was that blog i felt attached to. and it is gone. just bc i was so fucking stupid and just had to tell someone off. i never will again, i'll let anyone walk on me i'll let anyone violate all my boundaries and i'll never speak up again just pls pls pls pls let me have my account back.