#like the exact opposite of ‘one person standing up for their beliefs’

[lanadel-heyyy]

jennifer lawrence is a middle school drop out raised in the imperial core who always talked about the hunger games being about “one person standing up for what they believe in” which is….not what it was about ever at all. of course she has terrible politics. katniss would probably look at her with pity like a little dumb capitol pet.

[cursedextrovert]

People comparing CaitVi dynamic season 1 and 2, are we watching two different shows or y'all just forgot what happened in the middle. There was literally a war going on, Cait's mom fucking died like are they just gonna be lovey dovey with all these politics going on? And then one moment they leave everything to just be with each other in that jail cell you are also mad like wdyw?

Also people who say their sex scene is not necessary and/or a bad representation.

Firstly, JayceMel also got a sex scene in season 1 so its not like they invented sex just for these two lesbians.

Secondly, they didnt just fuck. Vi was beating herself up thinking she made the wrong decision and fucking things up like always and Cait told her that she actually let the guards go so Vi can do that exact thing she wanted. Ultimately saying a) she trusted Vi when she said Jinx has changed and wanted Vi to let the girl out b) she wanted Vi to be happy more than she wanted revenge even tho just some months ago she was the opposite.

Thirdly, we see the detail, Cait hesitates when she sees the bandage where she used to hit Vi. We see Cait taking off her clothes and showing her all, being vulnerable because Vi deserves that much from her.

Fuck. I get it, ok? This is a rare time we got a wlw relationship where both are main characters, and in a big show like this so you want it to be perfect and deprive of all flaws. But wouldnt you rather have two well-written characters where they relationship is tangled with the core of who they are than just a wlw couple with no conflict, no personal development no nothing? Hows that a good representation? Their relationship doesnt solve the conflict between them and their politics but is the reason why they were intertwined in the first place.

And dont come at me about systematic problems as well like Im a poc myself living in a white country and a sociology graduate. I understand Caitlyn did terrible things and is a war criminal herself with how she stands aside letting Ambessa did the thing she did and for gasing Zaun just to seek revenge. But she, just like everyone is a product of her sociocultural surroundings, shes a human affected by their beliefs and emotions. Isnt that the point of the show?

I dont think she got her happy ending just because she lives, I think being alive is her purnishment. She has her whole life to make up for what she did and I believe she will. What other fate you think she deserves? Her death will not undo her crimes, so is prison, they will also prevent her from actually fixing what she caused and ultimately using her priviledge for good(which shes doing, you can read my post about it). And Im not about to start the whole ethic debate on prison. How does one define a purnishment worthy? How do one define what a person deserves?

Finally, you know who else was a war criminal and walked away with what he wanted? Singed. Reality is like that, not black and white. People dont get what we think they deserve, ever.

[sweetsugarcakes]

Hi! I liked the last one so much I thought I might just request, like, another one??

An Azula x gn reader again. So, Azula and reader are childhood friends, and reader is the exact opposite of her. They are kind, compassionate and believe in the good of people. And that belief is the only thing that kept reader from deserting Azula even when she turned more cruel over time; they hope that Azula will find her good side some time. Azula is very dependant on reader's friendship as it's one of the only ones she's got, and over time she has developed some more serious feelings, but she doesn't tell reader. However, at one point, probably after a battle, it's enough. Reader can't take Azula's cruelty anymore and, under tears, tell Azula how much they detest her cruelty and want her to change her ways and that they know she has good inside of her, because (drumroll) they have loved her for years but think they will have to leave her once and for all if she can't change. Of course, Azula is devastated. She is happy her feelings are mutual but still, there is drama because of reader's accusations and threat of leaving.

Again, a happy end would be phenomenal.

This is a long ask! I hope you like this one too!

Have a great time :))

hii I’m so glad you enjoyed the other one :)

I love this scenario I’ll totally write it❤️

Azula x gn! reader

How much you saw the good in people, even if they were a bad person. You know there must be a reason why they are the way they are. Ever since you were kids you, Ty lee, Mai Zuko and Azula were all friends. At first you noticed in the small cracks of Azula you saw her a bit mean towards the group. She pushed Ty lee when she did an amazing cartwheel instead of her. She almost set Mai on fire for Zuko to save her. You noticed but brushed them off because she wasn’t so bad. But she’ll get better you hoped.

You also noticed that she never was that mean to you. Sure she’ll give you attitude and make snarky comments at you but you definitely got special treatment among the others. You remember having that conversation with her when you were little.

“[Name], promise you’ll never leave my side? I feel that you’re the only one that understands me.” Azula grinned as she looked at her used to be innocent face.

Your little self smiled widely and nod. “I promise Azula I’ll never leave your side!”

So…you never left her side which meant you saw what she had done. When she tricked her uncle and her brother. Almost burning Ty lee alive and forcing her to join her team. Making Mai abandon her baby brother. Even more things which involved her trying to catch the Avatar. But you stood by it all still thinking “She’s going to be good.”

You even thought that when she burned down innocent peoples villages. You saw how miserable the nations had been because of her doings. Not only the nations but Mai and Ty lee were as well. You can tell by the looks of their eyes, they don’t want to do this. They were so scared to stand up to her. You wanted the Avatar to restore the peace between nations and maybe Azula would be better.

One day, at the boiling rock Mai betrayed Azula by saving Zuko. You watched whole scene unfold with Ty lee. Before the two were about to fight each other, Ty lee chi blocked Azula making her fall. Ty lee looked at you, “Come on [Name].” She stuck her hand out as you hesitated and looked at Azula at the floor . You called the guards over to take both Mai and Ty lee away. The two girl were shocked as you chose Azula over your freedom. You helped up Azula since she was still paralyzed. You looked at as she smiled at you. “I know you’ll pick the right choice” hee eyes were filled with love for you and you had it too. She made the guards take Mai and Ty lee away to be in prison.

You thought about how she was ready to kill Mai and make her two best friends rot in the cell. You and Azula come back from trying to catch Aang as it failed but in the process, Azula had hurt other people, you saw children hurt and crying. You saw their parents crying as well or they were deceased from her ordering the soldiers to get information from them and if they didn’t comply well…

Your head was pounding and your hands were shaking you don’t know what to do. You were holding back from crying. Azula still mad about Mai and Ty lee but having you by her side was everything she needed anyway. You two were back at the palace as you finally spoke up…

“Azula I-i can’t do this…” you muttered out. Azula turned to you.

“What?!” She shouts and confused.

“I can’t do this. I’m can’t be by your side. T-this is too much…” you looked down.

“What are you talking about your staying with me! You promised me you’ll always be by my side [Name]! Why are you doing this?! You’re going to be a traitor just like them huh?” Azula was angry you can tell but then stunned seeing you crying and glaring at her.

“I’m done Azula. I did promise but I saw the good in you. I thought everyday that you’ll change into a good person. But seeing you doing these horrific things… it’s awful but I still stayed because I loved you for years. I-I still love you but I can’t if you’re going to be like this. T-this is just cruel…I’m sorry if you can’t change…I don’t think I wanna be by your side ever again.” You saw her panting hard trying to take all this in. She couldn’t believe you loved her and she never noticed. She gritted her teeth about to attack you but she hesitated. Her love for you was too much to hurt you. She just mumbled “Get out! Get out!” You were stunned as she told you get out. You nod as you left. The woman you loved pushed you away you know she didn’t mean it but you needed to do what you said…you knew it was the right thing to do.

You were nearby where Azula’s coronation was being held you saw how horrible she looked. Her hair cut uneven and her makeup smeared a little. You couldn’t help feel guilty about you making her crazy. You then saw the fight with Zuko and Katara with Azula. You saw Azula getting defeated by Katara as you saw her balling as blue fire came out of her mouth. You couldn’t hold back anymore you ran fast to Azula as Zuko and Katara watched you. You hugged her. “Azula please…” you whispered into her ear as you felt her body all hot as she was surprised you were here.

“[N-name]…Please [Name] don’t leave me! I’ll change! I’ll change for you! I love you too! Please just don’t leave my side! I’m sorry” She said between sobs as she just cried harder and clung on to your clothing tight. She didn’t want you to let go. “I promise Azula I won’t leave you again. I’ll be there to help you.” You whisper as cupped the back of her head to make her let it all out. Azula then spoke into your shoulder. “I’ll be good. I have you. I love you [Name].” She said still sobbing. You pulled away for her a little still close as you cup her cheek. “I knew you would turn to be good. I love you too.”

and they lived happily ever after and Azula got her redemption and didn’t go to an insane asylum bc reader was there for her🤭

I hope you enjoyed this one. sorry making this a bit angsty😭 you also have a great day!! <33

[canonizzyhours]

i read more canyon fic than i should.

it used to be because i was interested in the actual canon edizzy dynamic some other posts here have talked about and i wanted to find good darkfic about izzy topping from the bottom. then i realized i was never going to find that and it became something i did in good faith hope that i would understand the canyon better, maybe i'd find some really good fic about their take on fanon izzy and i would finally get why they found this compelling. at this point it's something i do out of morbid fascination, i'm still trying to understand the canyon but what i keep understanding is that their perspectives are always worse than i expected.

anyway here's what i was thinking about today. at this point i can sort canyon fic into categories and there's this one subgenre that's always fascinated me - and it goes well back into the early post-s1 hiatus era - where izzy becomes a weirdly passive character who never really does anything.

you can see exactly why this is happening. the author is so immersed in canyon meta that they refuse to engage with any of izzy's canonical motivations from s1 - the craving for power, the homophobia, the fetishizing obsession with masculinity, the contempt for the crew who work under him, the cruelty, the sense of entitlement to control ed's life: they've been convinced that none of that stuff is a part of izzy's character. but when you take it all away, you end up with a guy who would never actually do any of the stuff izzy canonically does in s1. and if you gave him any other motivations that pushed him to do other stuff instead it would become really obvious this is just a completely different guy (there's several OTHER genres of canyon fic where they do exactly that and it is super obvious this guy just has nothing to do with izzy anymore). so you end up with a character who does absolutely nothing except stand around in the background of scenes gazing at edward thinking sad thoughts about their dying relationship and every once in a while the author remembers to have him say "fuckin' twats."

so i was thinking about this today and what hit me like a lightning bolt is this exactly predicted what would happen in s2. the writers wanted to redeem him in one season and since all his motivations in s1 existed to push him to be awful, they had to resolve all of them as quickly as possible. so within the first half of the season izzy had let go of his creepy psychosexual obsession with ed and belief that he should control ed's life and his homophobia and contempt for effeminacy and learned to respect others instead of needing to dominate or be dominated.

but just like in those fics, this turned izzy into a character who no longer had any real personality traits besides saying twat sometimes, or any reason to actually do much of anything at all. and since the traits they got rid of so completely defined who he'd been up to that point, giving izzy any NEW motivations or personality traits would just make it really obvious this was functionally an entirely different guy.

this is the exact reason he was so boring in 2x05-2x07. with those traits gone there is no longer any reason for him to do anything in particular. the only thing they can do with him at this point is demonstrate that his redemption arc is complete by repeatedly having him do the opposite of evil stuff he did last season, and once they've checked off every box on that list, they have to kill him off because there is now nothing else he can possibly contribute to the narrative.

it's so funny to me that if i had taken seriously the lessons i learned from reading canyon fic i would have been able to predict at the very beginning of the season, as soon as it became clear they were speedrunning the redemption, that he would be dead at the end of it. those fics showed me exactly why there couldn't possibly be any compelling reason to keep a fully redeemed izzy in the narrative.

#394.

[izzysillyhandsy]

Izzy's Gravy Basket

While discussing Izzy's looming end of season extravaganza (apparently Con's acting is so good we're all gonna lose our minds) on this poll, and maybe in connection with my episode 8 speculations here, @nicelimegreen put the thought of Izzy's own personal gravy basket in my mind - and I love it so much I have to write about it.

While Ed and Stede already let us see into their minds (and it was fascinating!), we haven't had anything like that from Izzy. And true to my firm belief that OMFD is a story about three central fuckups, an Izzy dream scene/hallucination would be absolutely perfect for the season finale to bring everything together.

Also, the unhinged enthusiasm of people who have seen all the episodes, specifically relating to Con's performance in episode 8, leads me to believe that there's something dramatic coming.

And why not Izzy's own purgatory?

I know, this makes it 3 death scenes in one season (plus 2 toe snips, an amputation and possibly torture?) which I would find a bit much even in hurt/no comfort fanfic, but it kinda is that kind of show, isn't it? (and I love it)

The fascinating question is, of course, what would Izzy's purgatory look like? (Please reblog and discuss, I'm going crazy with anticipation in general and about Izzy's conclusion specifically)

Let's look at our blueprint: Ed's gravy basket

Central conflict: self-hatred, fear of being a bad person, lack of self control, unloveable, no one cares if you live or die Location: beach, hut, cliffs Representation of self: Captain Hornigold, retired Pulling him out of it: Mermaid Stede <3 (I messed all of this up. I'll never leave you. You're safe.)

For Izzy, in my opinion, the central conflict is "What am I?" (from initially, "What am I to you?"). His arc this season is becoming a well-rounded person who can stand alone (first step: get a unicorn leg) and isn't (co-)dependent on his captain.

But that might not be all there is. Ed's death was directly connected to his conflict. I can't see how Izzy's death is caused by him becoming a more realized person.

Except... maybe this is a conflict between self-actualization and self-sacrifice. I've said it before, I sense a lot of guilt about something in his (and Ed's) past. Something about others paying the price for your ambitions (Letting someone die or driving them to suicide? Killing someone you love?).

Izzy spent a lifetime in the shadow of another man, propping him up (as best he could). Maybe there's a reason for this level of self-abandonment?

The location could be many places really - we know nothing of Izzy's past. It has to be quiet and introspective though, so I suggest a lake in some lonely place (Edward Teach born on a beach, Israel Hands born in the Midlands). Or a ship - because, at his core, Izzy is first and foremost a sailor.

Much more interesting is the person who'll be there with him. Keeping in line with our blueprint, it could be someone from Izzy's past.

For Ed, it was his feared captain who traumatized him deeply but also influenced large parts of his outwards persona, his conception of piracy and appropriate pirate behaviour. These are parts Ed hates about himself and that make him unhappy, and it ties in with his central conflict of course.

But for Izzy it could be the exact opposite. If it truly is a person from Izzy's past, it's very difficult to speculate who (that's why we need a scene like this - we know nothing about the fucker!).

I all comes down to how Izzy sees himself. Contrary to Ed, I don't think Izzy's conflict is self-hatred, so the person representing his self won't be someone Izzy hates.

I also don't see someone threatening - it is more likely someone in need of guidance, someone vulnerable and "weak". Maybe someone who wasn't strong and able enough to do their fucking job (and Izzy should have done it for him, then).

So who could that person be? It could be someone who was dependent on Izzy a long time ago, maybe someone he let down because he didn't protect/guide them properly. The person could be connected to the spade (traitor's?) tattoo or the ring on his cravat. It could also be a young Ed, who Izzy tried to take under his wing (for the record, I do firmly believe that Izzy taught Ed quite a few things, maybe not all he knows though).

He could also be alone 😢

I don't think Izzy wants to die like Ed did (he's doing quite well right now), but we've got 3 episodes left - who knows what'll happen. The guilt could play into it, or a feeling of this is how it was supposed to happen, I've paid my debts.

In any case, right at the end, someone will come and pull him out.

In spite of the crew being Izzy's love now, they've already saved him in Ep4. I think this time it should be Ed who comes for Izzy. I can also see Ed and Stede both being explicitly needed (Izzy has two hands).

I think there's a possibility Izzy won't drown though - maybe he'll burn in a wood/house/ship fire. A self-imposed fiery death in hell seems fitting with the guilt-theme somehow. But that's just me probably. Water works perfectly well too.

For the rescue, I am struggling to come up with something even half as perfect as a mermaid, I mean Ed and Stede can always ride in on a unicorn (bit of a double meaning there, but whatever), but that doesn't feel quite right - maybe Ed with a shark's tail? Someone else will have a brilliant idea I hope!

Going with Izzy's assumed conflict of self-actualization vs. self-sacrifice (and protection of others), the thing he needs to hear to bring him back would be something like "it wasn't your fault", "be happy" and "I/we want you in our lives but be your own person" (just a little more poetic maybe).

Conclusion: Izzy's purgatory will tell us something (harrowing I'm sure) about his past. Con's acting will be off the charts. We will want to thank him face-to-face (I've wanted to do that from the start, so...)

But Ed or Ed and Stede both will bring Izzy back - he'll thank them in his usual charming way and they'll live happily ever after <3.

Hope this wasn't too scrambled! Thoughts?

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Is Yuusaku's ghost a product of Ogata's imagination, or his hallucinations, or he's really some kind of ghostly presence near him (the last one is all up to Noda if he wants to play with supernaturality of course) because to my sense he's a manifestation of Ogata's subconscious therefore closest to being a product of Ogata's imagination/mind.

My theory is that Yuusaku's ghost is a manifestation of, or representation of Ogata's conflicts in mind (his moral conflicts, especially his repression of guilt vs what he thinks and persuade himself to think he feels) and I see this fitting with Yuusaku being a flag bearer (and therefore an icon) like he's there to represent something, to stand up for something.

So we all know Ogata's mind enormously repressing his feeling of guilt by persuading his own self into thinking he has none and it's normal as a coping mechanism and then here's the hauntings of dead Yuusaku who was the exact opposite of him with thinking and morality and the existence of guilt, as if appearing in manifest of Ogata's own inner conflicts in his subconscious. Because Ogata knows he feels guilt and it is real, just can't release it out. Basically what he's thinking represents what he's saying to himself, and dead Yuusaku is what he's saying against himself someplace in the back of his mind › the inner conflict

I just loved this as a concept, that's all, and wanted to share it with you to see how you'd react because I love your way of thinking, wording and observations. Thanks for taking your time for reading <3

Canon never quite said.

The closest we have to canon implying what Yuusaku is can be found here when Ogata says there's something he always refused to face... and then we're given the answer with this visual of Ogata facing Yuusaku...

...so you can see Yuusaku as the personification of his guilt.

I personally do prefer this implication but this doesn't exclude the fact Yuusaku can also be an akuryō (悪霊 “evil spirit”) as Ogata calls it or a variation of some sort as in Japan there's the belief things and feelings can take a life of their own and become spirits.

So having Ogata's sense of guilt... take a life of its own would make sense for them... even though not so much for us as we, instead, view ghosts solely as the spirits of DECEASED PEOPLE, not as spirits of objects, feelings or whatever.

So yeah, I'm on your same page with Yuusaku being the personification of Ogata's sense of guilt from that far chap 164 in which he started to see him in place of Asirpa.

I find it more interesting if it's all psychological and there's no supernatural involved... but for Japanese people it can very well be that both are at play.

As I'm mostly out of the fandom I'm not sure if Noda even revealed something else about the scene so I fear I can't help with it.

Thank you for sharing with me your theory, which matches quite close with how I also prefer to interpret the scene and sorry if I couldn't be of more help.

[clementine-side-blog]

Opium Haze - E.N

Summary: After a chance encounter, y/n runs into Edward Nashton. Y/n was his light in the darkness, and they saved him from a dark path. Together, they created their own story. They saved him from becoming someone he did not want to be.

(A/N: I have never been on a subway, so I probably will not do a good job writing about them lol. I intended for this fanfic to be longer, but I really wanted to post something this weekend, so sorry :( but it's still super cute and I'm very proud of it.)

Content Warning: AFAB reader, they/them pronouns, explicit language, angst, tooth rotting fluff, mentions of murder, thoughts of suicide, blood. (this fanfic is so cute helpppp)

Word Count: 6.9k

Songs For Inspo:

Swing Lynn - Harmless

My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

Hey Lover - The Daughters Of Eve

Freaks - Surf Curse

Yes To Heaven - Lana Del Rey

A Different Age - Current Joys

Let The Light In - Lana Del Rey

Good Looking - Suki Waterhouse

Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos

Heart To Heart - Mac DeMarco

~Read Below Cut~

~

Fate is a touchy subject. Some people believe in it and others don't. It all depends on what their own beliefs are. But, if you looked at y/n and Edward's story, you'd probably start to believe in fate. They were two totally different people. The two of them ran into each other after a chance encounter in a subway. But, even then, it was extremely unlikely that they would talk to each other. And yet, they did. All it took was a few words to start the beginning of a beautiful life together.

~

Edward stood on the subway platform, glancing down at his work shoes. They were scuffed from tripping over his feet so much, scraping against the concrete sidewalks of Gotham city. The scuff marks reminded him of his own soul and mind. Scratched, shredded to hell, and unappealing. But then again, so was every other person in Gotham. Not one person was innocent, even him. His mind raced with thoughts of violence, inflicting them on the people who left him for dead in the cold and lifeless walls of an orphanage. A system that was supposed to keep him safe had done the exact opposite. Every single second of his childhood was pure torture. The tips of his fingers were scarred from the rats that would chew at his skin in the night, much like his heart was scarred. Over a decade of living in an orphanage only to be thrown out and forced to get a job and slave away at it for the rest of his life. It was just another type of orphanage that Edward found himself stuck in. A life he was stuck in while the upper class watched in amusement. There was only one way out, but he had work to do before that. He was going to purge Gotham of the scum that populated it. He was going to wash it all away, like flushing away sin. And when his work was done, he would leave the world.

'The train will be departing soon.'

Edward looked up, shaking himself out of his thoughts. His eyes widened as he realized his train was about to leave. He reached out as the doors began to close, knowing he didn't have a high chance of making it in time. Something ran into him from behind, causing him to be propelled forward. His nose hit the closed doors of the subway train with a strong force. Edward groaned, pushing himself off and watching in frustration as the train left. He winced, touching the bridge of his nose with two fingers, bringing them back into view to see blood smeared on the tips. Whipping around, he had a scowl on his face as he looked at the person responsible.

"Ow! What the hell is wrong with you!?" He exclaimed in a painful tone.

The person before him looked to be the same age as him, maybe a year or so younger. He couldn't really tell as he was distracted by the burning pain that came from the deep cut on his nose. Due to the bleeding, he assumed that he landed on a screw or some type of metal that was elevated off the train. They had pair of washed out jeans on, slightly ripped on the bottom. A baggy t-shirt that had an awkwardly standing cat on it covered their upper body. They gasped, holding their hands, wrists adorned with various bracelets, over their mouth.

"Oh...Oh my God, I'm so, so, so, sorry! I-I was trying to catch the train a-and I wasn't looking!" They stumbled, eyes wide.

"Well, I was trying to get it on it too. So I guess we're both screwed over." He mumbled.

The person sighed, rummaging through the bag they carried. He watched, pinching his nose as he started to get a nosebleed. They pulled out a band-aid, showing it to him. He raised an eyebrow, scoffing.

"I nearly broke your nose, can you please let me patch you up?" They asked, crossing their arms over their chest.

Edward noticed how embarrassed they looked. He sighed, rolling his eyes. Nodding, he walked over to a bench near the far corner. He sat down, legs making a 90 degree angle perfectly because of how long they were. Y/n frowned, removing the band-aid from the wrapping around it. Upon further examination, he realized that it had a bunch of hearts on it and it was pink.

"It's either this or you can keep bleeding everywhere." They said.

"Well, I wouldn't need a band-aid if you had just watched where you were going." He mumbled.

"Touché."

They carefully placed the pink band-aid over the cut on his upper nose. Gently, they smoothed down the sticky ends, making sure it was properly secured. Once they were done, they stood awkwardly in front of him, vaguely resembling the cat on their shirt.

"Um, I'm really sorry. You're right, I should have watched where I was going. I hope it doesn't hurt too much."

"It's fine." He replied quickly.

"Do you know when the next train arrives?" They asked.

"Why don't you read the sign?" He scoffed.

Turning around, y/n looked up at the sign on the ceiling. They huffed when they saw it would be another 30 minutes for the next train. Edward looked at them, knowing exactly what they would do. They would walk away and ignore him the rest of the time, as if they didn't just split his nose open. That's what everyone else in Gotham would do. No one cares about what happens to other people. Only them. Sure, it was nice of them to give him a band-aid, but that's about the nicest thing someone in Gotham could do. But, he was wrong. Extremely wrong.

"Do you mind if I sit and wait with you?" They asked.

He glanced up at them, holding back a laugh. Not really caring either way, he shrugged his shoulders. The stranger sat next to him, placing the bag they had on their lap. Edward wasn't quite sure what to do in that moment. He had terrible social skills as a result of being raised in an orphanage. But, he didn't really need to start a conversation. They did that for him.

"So, what's your name?" They asked.

He turned his head to them, blood dried underneath his nose.

"Edward."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Edward. I'm y/n." They smiled.

"Why are you talking to me?" He asked.

"Huh? Oh, do you not want me to?"

He went quiet, adjusting his glasses as he looked down at his lap. The truth was, he didn't really know. No one had ever willingly wanted to talk to him. Sure, coworkers talked to him at his job, but that was only when they needed something from him or it had to do with work. Edward wasn't used to having someone be friendly with him, let alone actually want to talk to him.

"I can sit somewhere else if you want me to. I understand if that's what you want." They said, smiling.

"No, it's ok."

Y/n nodded, opening up their bag. Edward, a curious man, peeked over. He watched as they pulled out a book, reading the cover.

'A Handmaid's Tale'

They opened up the book to a page with a bookmark in it. Removing it, they placed it in their bag. Edward couldn't help but try and read the book as well, despite having already read it. A subway wasn't the most relaxing place to read a book, y/n didn't have much to do.

"I've read that book before."

Y/n looked up, tilting their head at him.

"Oh yeah? What did you think of it?" They asked.

"It was quite interesting, pretty vulgar in some parts though. I found myself getting uncomfortable, but I'm pretty sure that's what Atwood was trying to do." He said.

"Yeah, I felt the same way."

"So, you've already read it?"

"Yeah!"

"Then, why are you reading it again?"

"Well, I really like the book. Plus, I'm helping out a student." They answered.

"Student?" He questioned, wiping away a new drip of blood from under his nose.

"I'm a librarian at a high-school. This is a required book in the English class, but one of the students just can't stomach reading it. It makes them too uncomfortable. So, I'm reading through the parts they can't read and taking notes for them." They smiled.

"That's awfully kind."

Y/n smiled.

"What's your job?"

"I'm a forensic accountant."

"Oh, that sounds interes-"

The phone in y/n's pocket rang, causing them to look down. They mouthed a 'sorry' and held up a finger. Answering the phone, they held it up to their ear.

"Yes, this is them."

Edward took note of their use of pronouns. He didn't really think he'd see them again, but it was just a tidbit of information he tucked away in his brain. He kept a lot of random information in there. Stuff that he would most likely never use in his life.

"Oh! I did?"

Y/n rummaged through their bag, scoffing when they stopped.

"You're absolutely right. I did. How embarrassing. Thank you so much for letting me know, I missed a train so I'll come get it right now."

Y/n hung up the phone, gathering their things as they stood up. Edward watched them, wiping away another drip of blood with his thumb. They sighed, pulling out a tissue from their bag. Y/n gave it to him, watching as he used the tissue to dab the blood up.

"Like a complete idiot, I left my laptop at the library. I have to go back and get it. I'm very sorry, I was really interested in hearing what a forensic accountant is."

Edward shrugged.

"I'm serious! I was enjoying our conversation."

Y/n pulled out a band-aid from their bag, grabbing a pen as well. Using their knee as a surface, they scribbled something on the wrapping. Edward recoiled slightly as they reached out their arm to them, band-aid held in between their fingers. They waved it, signaling for him to take it. Edward rolled his eyes and took the band-aid, looking down at the scribbling. It was a phone number.

"If you want to, text me! Or call, I'm good with either. Maybe we can meet up for coffee or something and you can tell me what a forensic accountant does."

"I could be a serial killer. You barely even know me."

"Well, that's why I gave you my number, duh. So we can get to know each other." They smiled widely.

Edward scoffed, putting the band-aid in the pocket of his coat. Y/n tilted their head, waving a good-bye before leaving the subway station. He watched how they walked with a bounce in their step, as if nothing in the world was wrong. Sighing, he leaned his head back and groaned. They were awfully nice for someone who lived in Gotham.

~

Edward sat in his bed, hunched over the band-aid that y/n had given him. He groaned, tugging at his hair and rocking back and forth slightly. His mind was conflicted and he had no idea what to do. No, he didn't have to text them. Did he want to? Yes. And he hated to admit that. The kindness he had experienced from them, even though it wasn't an astronomical act of kindness, was foreign to him. Empathy and friendliness were things he had never received in his life, and a stranger on the subway had given both of those things to him within a span of 10 minutes. It threw him in a loop and made him feel dizzy, stars crossing his eyes as he looked at the numbers scribbled on the paper wrapping. He knew they were setting him up for a cruel joke. Friends were probably leaning over there shoulders, waiting for him to text them. They would all laugh, pointing at his text, going on and on about how much of a stupid loser he was.

"Fuck." He mumbled.

He picked up his phone, typing in the number into his contacts. Entering the name 'y/n' as the contact name. Shakily, he typed a simple text. Edward was not sure what to say, and he wasn't even sure that he should even text them. He felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety -as he hit send, preparing for the humiliation.

'Hi, this is Edward from the subway.'

He stared at the screen, dreading yet awaiting a reply. Glancing over at his winter mask, he adjusted his glasses. The plans he had for the city were already made, but he had not begun anything yet. The most he had done was buy the mask. So, why was he texting this person? Why would he even try to form a friendship if he was going to wash everyone away in the end? It was pointless. Yet, he so desperately wanted to hold onto hope. Hoping for someone to save him from what he was becoming. Hoping for someone to show him that there was still hope for the people of Gotham. But, he felt like he was hoping for things that wouldn't happen. A chime from his phone caused him to look down, reading the text on the screen.

'Omg! Hi! I was worried you'd never text me! :D'

He stared at the text, relaxing after tensing up. There was no humiliation. No shame. No mocking. So, what was there? Kindness, perhaps? Genuine kindness? He let out a shaky breath, shivering in his cold apartment due to an open window in his bedroom. Once he sent the text, he closed it, getting too cold for his own liking.

'Were you waiting for me to text you?'

They responded quickly.

'Yeah! Is that so hard to believe? ;p'

Edward smiled softly, feeling his body warm up as he slipped under the covers of his bed. The comfort of his blankets and the conversation happening at his fingertips provided him a nice feeling. Happiness, almost. If not happiness, then at the very least it was peaceful.

'A little.'

'Well, I can't really prove it, so you'll just have to trust me. I got my laptop, btw!'

'That's good. Did you have to wait for another train?'

'Yeah, but it was ok. I used the time to read. Did you make it home ok?'

'Yes.'

'Good! So, any big plans for the weekend? Any crazy parties?'

'Do I look like I go to parties?'

'Not exactly, but I don't go to parties either. Well, at least not crazy ones. Maybe like, a birthday party for a cousin or something. I'm the life of the party at those things. They always have the best snacks and drinks.'

Edward laughed, somethings that he had not genuinely done in a while. Clearing his throat, he turned on his side, phone held in his hands. The light reflected off his glasses, shining in his dark room.

'I don't have any family. A party like that sounds fun.'

'You don't have any family?'

'No, I was raised in an orphanage.'

'Oh, I'm sorry about that.'

'It's ok.'

'Let's change the subject, ok? :) Circling back to my question, any plans this weekend?'

He appreciated the change in conversation, even though he was the one that brought the subject up. Mentally, he scolded himself for bringing up such a personal thing so early into the conversation. But, they seemed to handle it well. They didn't make fun of him for being an orphan, so that was better than everyone else.

'No plans.'

'Me neither. Wow, we're pretty boring, aren't we?'

'That was a joke btw, I don't think you're boring :)'

'I figured.'

'Well, since you don't have plans and I don't have plans...would you like to get a coffee with me or something? I know that's very cliche, but I genuinely don't know what else to do.'

His face turned beet red, shocked at what he just read. Edward still felt like this was all some elaborate prank. If he said yes, he could be walking right into a trap. But, what if it wasn't a prank? What if they were being genuine? What if they actually wanted to spend time with them? They seemed like a friendly person, but Edward knew all too well about hiding parts of yourself. Pretending to be someone you're not.

'Ok, when?'

'Yay! I was nervous you'd say no. How about tomorrow at 10? You know that one diner on 19th?'

'Yes, I actually live right across from it.'

'Woah, wait...in the apartment building near the Iceberg Lounge?'

'Yes?'

'I think we live in the same building.'

Edward shot his head up, a shocked expression on his face. Looking back down, he saw that they had texted again.

'I'm in number 22C, what about you?'

'25C.'

'No fucking way, you're shitting me?!'

'Um, no...?'

'I just moved in recently, maybe that's why we haven't noticed each other.'

'I'm not really a social person with the other people in the building. I don't keep up with newcomers.'

'That makes sense, I still can't believe it though. I'm coming out.'

Edward lifted his head up, placing his phone on the bed. He felt his heart racing and he wasn't quite sure as to why. It was just a strange chance encounter. The odds of them running into each other at the subway were slim. The odds of them talking were slim. The odds of getting each other's contact information were slim. But the odds of them living right next door from each other, that was incredibly slim. His head shot to the living room that showed through his open bedroom door as a knock echoed in the apartment. Edward got out of his bed, adjusting his glasses. He usually wore just a pair of boxers to sleep, but tonight he wore sweats and a shirt. Thank god for that. Walking through his kitchen, he looked through the peephole. When he saw y/n, his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He opened the door, looking slightly down at them. Y/n looked up, mouth slightly agape. They laughed, clapping their hands in amusement.

"Holy shit...This is freaky!" Y/n said, a smile on their face.

"Yeah, quite strange." He mumbled.

"Um, sorry I'll go back in my apartment. I just wanted to see if you really lived across from me."

Edward glanced at the clock that hung on his kitchen wall. It was only 7 o'clock. He bit his bottom lip, conflicted about what to do. He couldn't explain it if he tried, but he didn't want them to go. Every day, he would spend his nights in bed. He would think about how depressing his life was, how boring it was, and how he wished something would happen to change it. He wasn't a big believer in fate, but maybe this was it? Maybe, just maybe, it was fate that y/n and him ran into each other.

'What has no hands yet can knock on your door, and you better open up if it does?'

'An opportunity.'

"W-Wait."

Y/n turned around, looking at Edward with a soft gaze. He felt himself get sheepish underneath it. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he opened his door up wider.

"Why don't we have coffee right now?"

They smiled, tilting their head at his suggestion. Pulling out their phone, they checked the time. A small chuckle left their throat.

"It's 7 o'clock. Plus, like you said earlier, you could be a serial killer."

'I very much could have been. But, now you're here...'

"I don't think I could kill you in this apartment. The walls are thick, but they're thin enough to let loud noises get through. So, I'd get caught immediately."

"What a weird way to convince me to come in. What's even weirder, is that coffee sounds very nice right about now."

He smiled, dimples showing and eyes squinting slightly. Stepping aside, he allowed y/n to walk inside his apartment. He closed the door behind them and walked with them in the living room. It was a very neat apartment, aside from the living room that had books scattered all over a desk. Y/n hummed, peeking at the covers. Some were about forensics, some about history, and some were classic books.

"Avid reader? I guess I should have assumed so, since you read The Handmaid's Tale."

"Uh, yes, yes I am. I read a lot of books while I was in the orphanage. It was a hobby that stuck with me."

Y/n nodded, looking for a place to sit. Edward motioned towards a table that resided next to the archway to the kitchen. They sat down at the table, their baggy, lacey, white camisole bunching slightly around their waist. They had the same idea as Edward and wore sweatpants tonight, causing him to smile.

"You have a lot of books, Edward. I like that."

He blushed slightly, clearing his throat.

"Um, how do you like your coffee?"

"Do you have any creamer? I like sugar and cream." They answered, playing with their hair.

"Yes, I do."

He went into the kitchen, making two cups of coffee. As he did so, he tugged at his hair. Thoughts raced through his mind, going 100 mph. His head felt dizzy and he felt a sharp pain forming at the base of his skull.

'Kill them, let them serve as an example.'

'They can be your first victim.'

'They just want to humiliate you.'

'You don't deserve friendship or love.'

'Who could ever love you?'

He took a deep breath, looking in his reflection on a plate. Edward shook his head, dismissing the terrible thoughts. He didn't want to do any of that. The thoughts were just his own mind trying to play tricks on him. He would not do any of those things. Y/n, although having only met them today, was his only shred of hope that he had for happiness. They were the only thing he had to hold on to. And, what made it even better, is that they seemed to enjoy his company as well. It felt like the stars had aligned and blessed Edward with a guardian angel, sent specifically to save him from himself. And for that, he was eternally grateful. Never again would he think violent thoughts, never again would he contemplate ending it all. He had something, someone, to keep him grounded. A friend. That's all he had ever wanted in his life.

~

That night, the two of them stayed up for hours. They talked about their jobs, Edward finally explaining to y/n what a forensic accountant did. Eventually, they delved into more personal things. Edward talked about his experience in the orphanage, how traumatic it was, how much it changed him as a person, and how it ruined his childhood. Y/n talked about their challenges growing up as a non-binary AFAB person and how their family never approved of them. The both of them listened closely to their stories while sipping away at cups of hot coffee. Neither of them had planned for any of what happened that night to happen. But, they were glad it did. Because, after that night, things took off. They hung out more, visiting each other's apartments, having breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner together. After a month of friendship, Edward had worked up the courage to ask y/n to be his partner. It was awkward, just like he was, but that's what y/n loved about him.

~

"Edward, I've already read this book literally last week. I don't really want to read it again so soon."

Y/n had asked Edward for book recommendations a day ago. He said he needed time to look through the books he had, so he could pick a good one for them. But, he had just given them a book they read recently: Wuthering Heights. Y/n pushed the book back towards him across his kitchen table.

"Trust me, you should read it again. You might realize you missed something." He said.

"What? What does that even mean?" They asked, laughing slightly.

He shrugged, taking a sip of his lemonade. Y/n shook their head, rolling their eyes as they opened the book to appease him.

"You're so ominous for no reason, Edward. Look, I'm reading the book for the 2nd time this month, wow!" They fake gasped.

"Oh come on, read it to me. What's the first paragraph say?"

Y/n sighed, looking down at the page. Their eyebrows furrowed when they saw a sticky note on the page instead. Glancing up at Edward, they noticed he had a small smile on his face. Humming, they looked back down at the sticky note.

"Y/n..." They trailed, reading the rest of the note silently to themself.

'...this past month with you has made me a happier man. I've enjoyed our talks over coffee, our movie nights, and our complaining about our jobs. But, I don't want to do that anymore as your friend. I feel strongly about you, in a way that is more than friends. I look at you every day and think about how lucky I was to meet you, even if you did almost break my nose. It was worth the pain. You've thawed out my icy heart and made me feel loved for the first time in my life.'

Y/n looked up from the note, eyes wide. Edward smiled and leaned forward. His hands rested over y/n's, holding them in his.

"Um, y/n...will you be my partner? If that's ok with you, of course. You don't have to if you don't want to. I understand you might feel pressured to say yes, bu-"

"Edward! Yes, I will!"

His eyes widened.

"Y-You will?"

"Of course!"

Edward let out a shaky breath, smiling wide as he got up from his chair. Walking around the table in one big stride, he squatted down and cupped y/n's face in his hands. He leaned in softly, planting a gentle kiss on their lips. Y/n kissed him back, dropping the book and embracing him in a warm hug.

"But, Edward, I have one question."

"Yes, anything."

"Why did you use the Wuthering Heights book...it's kind of a tragic story..."

"Y/n, that's the most romantic book you had. Would you rather me have used Romeo & Juliet?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You make a good point. I have a penchant for tragic love stories, don't I? Oh my, do you think that's how we'll end up?" They asked, worry in their tone.

"What? No, of course not! That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, you're right. After all, Romeo and Juliet killed themselves because they couldn't be together, right? And, we're dating."

"That's a rather morbid look on it, but yes, you're right. I think we'll be just fine." He smiled.

~

Their relationship was a great one, fantastic even. No other couple in Gotham were quite in love like they were, and that was just a fact. It was as if they were made for each other, like soulmates. Two puzzle pieces that fit into each other perfectly. Creating a beautiful love. Edward loved y/n so much and they loved him. At the school y/n worked at, they became the favorite couple.

~

Edward sat behind the library counter with y/n, reading a book that he had brought with him. On his days off, he would go to y/n's job and keep them company. It was nice of the school to allow it, mainly because Edward helped encourage the kids to read more. He had sort of become like the library's mascot. It was cute and he didn't really mind it. A student walked up to the counter and placed a book on it.

"Good morning Y/n!" The student said.

Y/n, being non-binary, didn't really prefer to be called any titles. Because of this, they just had students and peers call them by their first name. It was their own personal choice and no one really minded it. It just made them even cooler to the students. Y/n's library was like a safe space for LGBTQIA+ people, having a pride flag hanging above their office. The school, luckily, was also a supportive school, allowing them to hang it up. Though, if they even tried to tell them to take it down, they would have put up a hell of a fight. Edward admired that about them, finding their kindness for others to be so inspiring. He also loved how they advocated for themself, not afraid to show who they really were.

"Good morning Jeremy, let's see what book we have this time."

Y/n scanned the book and looked at the cover. Their mouth formed an 'o' and they nodded their head in approval. It was a rather juvenile for someone in high school, but it was a good book nonetheless. Sometimes, you just had to read a book because you wanted to read it, not because you wanted to be smart. And y/n was a firm believer in that. Hell, they would still read Dr. Suess books sometimes, they were still as good as they were when they first read them.

"Fantastic Mr. Fox. Oh, I loved this book as a kid. Have you seen the movie?" They asked, handing the book to them.

"Yeah, that's why I wanna read the book." They smiled.

"What are we talking about?" Edward asked, peeking over his book.

"Fantastic Mr. Fox. Did you ever read the book, Edward?" Y/n asked, smiling at the kid as they walked away.

"Yes, but I never watched the movie."

"Oh, well I know what we're doing for movie night then."

"I suppose so." He smiled.

A couple laughs behind them caught their attention, and y/n turned back around the counter. Before them were a group of kids, two boys and three girls it looked like. Y/n rolled their eyes, motioning for Edward to come over. Humming, he stood up from his seat and placed his book down on the counter.

"Honey, the children want a riddle." Y/n said, already knowing what they were going to ask.

"They do? Hm..." He thought, pushing up his glasses.

The high schoolers laughed softly, looking expectantly at him. Y/n focused back to the computer, looking through a few emails as he thought of a riddle. The sound of his fingers rapping on the counter drew their attention back to him. Y/n watched in adoration as he told the group of kids a riddle.

"Ok, I was asked this riddle back in high school. It's probably one of the most intense, serious, and difficult riddle you will ever be asked. Are you ready?" He asked, ominously.

"Edward, don't scare the shit out of them!"

"Language, y/n. There are children present."

"Oh, they say worse than me."

One of the kids spoke up.

"What's the riddle!"

"Ok, if all Wibbles are Criggles, all Borkins are Kwumblins, no Hoggles are Borkins, and all Criggles are Borkins, is it true that all Borkins are Criggles?"

The kids all stared at Edward like he had three heads. Y/n burst out laughing, holding their side. He crossed his arms over his chest, acting like this was the most serious thing he had ever asked anyone.

"What the hell? Ed, did you just have a stroke?" Y/n asked.

"No, this is a serious question."

One of the girls spoke up.

"Ok, so...all Borkins are Kwumblins...I'm sorry this is too funny." She started giggling.

"All Borkins are Kwumblins, but no Hoggles are Borkins. So, all Wibbles are Criggles..." A boy mumbled.

A girl bounced up and down slightly.

"Oh, wait! I know! The question is, are all Borkins Criggles? The answer is no! Because, all Borkins are Kwumbins and all Criggles are Borkins. It's only asking about the Borkins, not the Criggles. So, no. Not all Borkins are Criggles!" She spat out, holding her tongue with her finger dramatically as if it stopped working.

Edward nodded.

"Very good! That's exactly the answer! I'm impressed, it's quite a confusing riddle." He smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Nashton! So, we have a riddle for you two!" The same girl asked.

"Oh? Well, I hope we can answer it." Y/n said, standing up next to Edward.

"Their solidarity is new, their commitment is deep, You’ll find me essential before the leap. What am I?"

Edward's face instantly went red, already knowing the answer. However, y/n took a little more time. The kids were giggling, elbowing each other to keep quiet. Y/n blushed as well, realizing the answer.

"A marriage license." They said.

"Uh huh, so...when are you guys getting married?" A boy asked.

Y/n clapped their hands.

"Oh boy, look at that! Time for my lunch break! Looks like we'll have to get back to you on that." They said, rushing them out of the library.

"Aw come on!"

"Aren't you 5 supposed to be in your classes anyways?" They asked, hands on their hips.

"Ugh, fine. But, we better get the wedding invitations!" A boy said.

"Yeah sure, go on you heathens."

"Why, so you guys can make-out?" A girl giggled.

"Inappropriate! Go on!" Y/n shoved them out of the door, closing it behind them

From behind the door, they could hear giggling and whispers, slowly fading away with footsteps. Sighing, she turned back around to see Edward propping himself up on the counter with his hand. He had his book in the other hand, hanging down by his side. Y/n shook their head in amusement as they walked back over to him.

"Call me crazy, but I think they want us to get married." He stated.

"Woah, really? That's impressive, can you read minds?" Y/n laughed.

Edward smirked, sitting back down in the chair he was in before. His leg hiked up over his other leg, hanging lazily. Flipping the page, he held it in place with his thumb. After a few moments of silence, he looked back up.

"Do you want to make-out, though?"

"Edward, there are cameras. I would love to, but I'd rather not get caught and get fired."

"What, not a fan of exhibitionism?" He teased.

"Edward Nashton, you are such a weirdo. I love that about you."

He smiled and shook his head, chuckling. The two of them fell back into a comfortable silence. When they got back home, they watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox together. Unsurprisingly to y/n, Edward absolutely loved it. His favorite character was Ash, because he too felt different. That was y/n's favorite character as well.

~

Their relationship continued to grow, 6 months turning into a year. A year turned into 2 years. 2 years turned into 3. And finally, 4 years had come around. On their 4th anniversary, Edward decided to take it to the next level.

~

Edward and y/n had finished up their anniversary dinner, now heading back to their shared apartment. After they had dated for a year, they decided they should move in together. Sure, they had already lived directly across from each other, but they wanted to be even closer. They wanted to see each other every morning and every night. Their shoes lightly clicked against the cement stairs that led down to the subway station. Y/n stopped, tugging at Edward's sleeve.

"Hey, this is the subway station we first met at!"

Edward subtly smirked to himself.

"Oh would you look at that, it is!"

They continued to walk down the stairs, finally reaching the platform. It was completely empty, due to how late it was, apart from a security guard. Y/n looked towards the bench the two of them sat at for the first time, eyes widening. Edward smiled, wrapping an arm around their waist as they walked over to it. Candles were placed on the tiled floor around it, lit and flickering in the cold air.

"Edward, did you do this?" They asked.

Glancing behind his back, he gave the security guard a smile. Yes, Edward had planned this whole thing, but it was the security guard who lit the candles just before they arrived. When he had come up to her and asked for her help, she agreed instantly. Edward, who once believed that no one in Gotham could be nice to anyone but themself, had been proven wrong. And now, he trusted other people to help him. He definitely owed the security guard.

"Y/n..."

They turned around, looking down to the ground as they saw Edward on his knee. Gasping, they cupped their hands over their mouth. Tears welled up in their eyes as they felt a shiver go down their spine. Edward took a shaky breath, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a black velvet box, holding it in his hand.

"I never told you how I felt when I first met you, and I'd like to do that now."

He looked down at the subway tiles, sniffling and then looking back up at y/n.

"I was in a dark place at that time of my life, y/n. Any hope I had of love, friendship, and happiness was dwindling away. Every day was strenuous and draining. Troubling thoughts crossed my mind, thoughts that I never wanted to act on, but felt like they were the only solution to my pain. That day we ran into each other, that was going to be the day I acted on those thoughts. But, in the span of a few minutes, you showed me more kindness than I had ever been given in my entire life. A complete stranger. It baffled me, I didn't know what to think of it. I was certain you were setting me up for an elaborate prank. But, I'm so glad I decided to text you. The kindness that you showed me, well, it saved me, y/n. You pulled me out of the darkness and showed me a sliver of light, the hope that I so desperately wanted to hang on to."

"Eddie..." They sniffled.

He brought his hand up to his face, wiping away a tear that trickled down his cheek. Clearing his throat, he went back to his speech.

"I remember when I made you that cup of coffee. I thought to myself, 'They must be my guardian angel, sent down from heaven.' I thought this because no one that perfect, breathtaking, gentle, and kind could possible be from this world. Even as you stand before me here, I find you just as ethereal as you were the day I first met you. Here. In this exact place."

Edward shivered, hands trembling as he opened up the box. A silver ring with a humble diamond rested in the soft material. It was nothing extravagant, not at all. But, it was beautiful to y/n nonetheless. In fact, it was the most lovely ring they could ever imagine, because it came from him. It was perfect.

"And, it is here, where you first came into my life, that I ask you to stay in my life. These past 4 years I've spent with you have been amazing, truly they have. But, I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore, y/n. I want to be your husband. I want married life. I want to wake up to you, knowing you're my spouse. I want to have a family with you, y/n. I want to be a dad, I want to grow old together with you. I want the stupid little arguments, I want the moody teenager, I want the house. But, I can't have any of that if I don't have you. Without you, life has no meaning, color has no hue, music has no tune, and my heart will not beat. They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and when I looked into yours, I knew it was true. I looked into them and I saw good. I saw gentleness, kindness, love, and compassion. Your eyes, they are always foggy and shining, I've become addicted to looking into them. Like...like an opium haze. Addictive and mysterious. I was enthralled and I still am. I knew I wanted to be apart of your life, but I was so scared. I'm scared right now too, I'm shaking. But, I know in my heart that my love for you is true and I would be a fool to let you slip out of my life. So, y/n..."

He held up the box slightly, the object slightly shaking in his hand.

"Will you marry me, please?"

Y/n choked back a sob, hands still covering their mouth. They nodded frantically, letting the tears roll down their cheeks. Edward's eyes widened behind his glasses, glazed with tears. He straightened his posture, mouth forming a small smile.

"Yes, Edward. Yes, I will marry you! Yes!"

Edward's mouth hung slightly agape, surprised at the answer. He knew y/n would say yes, but it still caught him off guard. The tears that he had been trying to hold back were now flowing down his face. He stood up quickly, closing the box and embracing y/n in a tight hug. Their arms wrapped around each other, Edward's hand tangling in y/n's hair as he planted a chaste kiss on the top of their head. The two of them pulled away, hair stuck to their faces from the tears. He opened up the box, taking out the ring and sliding it on their ring finger. Y/n looked at it and smiled, laughing slightly. Edward laughed as well, kissing their hand and rubbing his thumb over their knuckles.

"Y/n Nashton. That has a nice ring to it." They hummed.

"My heart is still racing..." He chuckled.

"Mine too...let's go home, fiancé. We can watch Forensic Files in celebration."

"God, I'm so glad we're getting married."

"I love you so much, Edward."

"I love you too, y/n. More than you will ever know."

~

[xxdungeon-stuckxx]

Rage

Opposite-

Hope

Neighboring-

Heart, blood

Presides Over-

Rebelion, truth, anger, negativity, deconstruction, madness, chaos

Themes-

Most rage players from the canon are destruction classes, meaning that most of their traits mimic that of hope aspect players. For this reason, it is hard to clearly define rage-bound traits.

Most notably, rage players hold control over negative emotions and negativity in general. They hold power over anger, depression, and fear.

Personality-

Rage players are passionate about the things that they think matter. They are also more than willing to convince others why their passion is completely justifiable as well. A rage player is someone who wants to convince others to take their side, to see their perspective, and to share their beliefs. They want other people to be just as passionate as they are.

When a rage player sees a problem is society, they will wreak havoc on any and all systems that cause a problem. They are rebellious by nature for this very reason. However, rage-bound players might not tear down societies structures for the greater good. Their judgment can often be flawed and they may find problems where there are none to be had. How rage players based their judgment is through what they personally think is an issue, regardless of how much good or bad fixing this issue may cause.

Rage players are natural anarchists. They don’t want others to tell them what to do and how they should live their lives. They think that structured society leads to deception and corruption, which a rage player can’t stand for. They thrive on chaos and are held back by nobody but themselves.

When a rage player believes in something, they will believe in it until the day they die. It’s hard to convince a rage player when they are wrong or disillusioned.

Despite the aspect that they have control over, rage players are positive individuals. They bring joy wherever they go, and they are social butterflies. They may seem strange to those in their social circle, but most people find their jovial nature to be appealing in some aspect. They care deeply for their teammates, and they can often be found comforting those who are going through hardships.

Other’s are likely to say that rage players suffer from “mood swings”. They can flip their emotions on a dime, without any warning. A once happy and carefree rage player may suddenly become enraged at seemingly miniscule things. Rage players feel that their emotions have a good reason for changing so quickly. When they see something they hate, they cannot contain their hatred.

Rage-bound players don’t bottle up their emotions. They let them flow freely and they don’t care who sees them unleash them. They are extremely expressive people who have a hard time toning down their emotions during a given situation. They physically cannot hide their feelings in the form of outward expression.

Rage players are unpredictable, and the next actions they take are never known by others. Being chaotic by nature, they love the feeling they receive from their capriciousness. In a battle, their enemies never know their next moves. Their allies never know what they may do next. A rage player may seem like they are about to do one thing, then do the exact opposite instead. They relish this unknowingness of their actions, and use it to their advantage.

Rage players have secret motives that they may not tell others about. A rage-bound player, for instance, may plot against their teammates in order to favor their own personal motives. They may even work with the enemy in order to secretly aid their party and deconstruct the obstacles surrounding them. They aren't opposed to “working dirty” in order to gain success.

Rage players may fall into abuser mindsets if they are not careful. Part of their journey is to learn to control their emotional outburst, otherwise they may harm others. Their emotions become overwhelming to them though, and any negative feelings may result in physical and/or verbal altercations with others. It’s best to leave a rage player alone when they are experiencing negative emotions of any kind, or else they may lash out. The term “anger issues” defines a rage player quite well. 

A rage player can become so angry that they can't see straight, in a metaphorical sense. The choices they make when they are angry are not done through logic, but through feelings alone.

If a rage player thinks something is stupid, then a rage player will outright hate that thing. If a task is given to the rage player that they don’t see the point of, then they will resent the person who gave them the task and the task itself. Oftentimes, they will go against what is asked of them or they may simply not do it at all. They do what they want because, to a rage player, what they want is the only worthy task for them to complete.

In Canon-

Gamzee Makara (Bard of Rage), Kurloz Makara/The Grand Highblood (Prince of Rage), Xefros Tritoh (Player of Rage), Nihkee Moolah (Player of Rage), Lynera Skalbi (Player of Rage), Vestri (Player of Rage), Helion (player of Rage), Charun Krojib (Player of Rage)

[tiredassmage]

*walks into your inbox, plops down* so what's the deal with tyr and alucren. :^)

Sksfkdslnfd. I love them because they would not get along personally, lmao. Professionally? Tyr's too much of a professional to let it to completely disrupt the work they need to get done, but it's still a nuisance. xD

And they also have something of a... dichotomy might not be the exact term, but there's a disconnect between what each of them would say of themselves and present as versus who and what they truly are. And that makes them incredibly interesting to stand side by side and chew on like a Twizzler.

First, a little background on our latest Cipher.

Tyr and Alucren are around about the same age; Alucren is slightly older (by maybe a couple years, at most) and started his career of service to the Empire in the Ministry of Propaganda in a role working closely with the Imperial Diplomatic Service before his track record of charisma and wooing several populations back to the tune of the Empire's control had him re-evaluated to bolster Imperial Intelligence's Operations division and he was re-designated Cipher Eleven, becoming an infiltration and information specialist with supplemental training as a sniper. Him and Nine are active in Operations in tandem, then, but likely don't necessarily cross paths on-duty - such being the nature of their specialization and general assignment of Ciphers.

Their deal then, in short, is Eleven is one of the loyal operatives that survives the dissolution of Operations and is reabsorbed into Sith Intelligence based on his history of loyal and effective service to Intelligence and their Sith masters. Tyr and Alucren butt heads based on... operational differences.

Officially speaking, Tyr maintains the rank of Commander under protections of the Ministry of War and ends up reporting to Lana. Unofficially, Lana essentially adopts him as her right-hand man. Lana learns fast and it's not that she doubts her own abilities, certainly, but Tyr has field experience that becomes invaluable in assessing, training, and managing operatives for the budding new directives of Sith Intelligence. So, Lana often asks for his assessment on their recruits in addition to pulling him to plan and manage operations.

Eleven, to paraphrase Tyr's thoughts on the matter, is effective, relentless, but entitled. Alucren's a product of a rich history of Imperial nobility, a long family history of service in roles ranging from the Diplomatic Service to some of the Empire's key architectural projects. He walks around like he's hot shit and, on paper, that more or less does hold up. But it grates at Tyr, who is very much a "the good of the whole over the reputation of the one" type.

Their weird little... dichotomy of sorts then is that one of Alucren's favorite covers, games, whatever you'd like to call it, is to present himself as relatable, as sympathetic. He employed it to great effect to secure deals and silence whispers of unrest and rebellion in his previous service tracks and continued to do so as a Cipher. But it is a front to the bone. Because Alucren does genuinely think he's pretty hot shit. It's not exactly that he doesn't think Nine is. But Alucren also delights in seeing a facade crack and he finds out that he can needle his once-former coworker Cipher and now, in a sense, commanding officer and he enjoys taking it to the bank. Alucren is a product of wider Imperial beliefs on areas such as strength, slavery, and the place of aliens in the Empire. Tyr and him sit on rather polar opposites of that spectrum.

And Tyr has a reputation for taking heat for the rest of Operations. Keeper/the former Minister favored him, in what little ways you could in Operations. There's whispers of what happened on Eradication Day. Some of the military still stands a little taller when he walks by because of his service on Corellia. No one he served with misses Lord Razer and plenty of them admire his brass for holding the line on operational standards even as Imperial Intelligence was stripped away around them. Nine is more that every man, in a way. In his role as Commander, he's very carefully considerate - you tell Nine the truth so he can handle the upper management. Tyr goes to bat for his operatives when push comes to shove.

Him and Minister Beniko have locked themselves in her office several times to "discuss" operational protocols and deployments. Their voices rarely carry enough to be heard, but sometimes they raise just enough to hear impressions. And he's one of the few that can make Beniko storm off with fire in her eyes without getting dressed down or entirely dismissed from the agency.

And Eleven's heard of this reputation. It tickles him that he can tweak on it. Nine's far too disciplined to ever slip from his precious decorum, but sometimes there's this muscle that feathers in his jaw when Eleven gets "cute" during briefings. Nine's eyes narrow slightly as he calculates the most professional dressing down of the tweaks of insubordinate and disrespectful behavior he can come up with. To Alucren, it's a game. To Tyr, it's a nuisance he begrudgingly tolerates because when Eleven decides to focus on his assigned task, he's effective - too effective to cut loose or reassign.

I suppose, in short, boys will be boys. xD There isn't exactly deep bad blood between them so much as a groaning professional distaste for each other. Alucren thinks Tyr's a little too uptight - which is a little hilariously ironic from the one that's far more loyal to Sith orders of the pair of them. And Tyr thinks Alucren is a bit too big for his britches and a tad too entitled, but gratingly just self-aware enough of his hubris that it probably won't bite him in the ass. It's just enough to be an annoyance.

That all said, if Eleven did ever find out where Nine's loyalties truly lie, they'd have a hell of a lot of bad blood. Eleven is unerringly loyal to the Empire and willing to accept a lot more as cost in the service of its goals than Nine ever was or will be. It'd be naughty indeed for an operative like Nine, pride of Intelligence, to be harboring Republic sympathies, wouldn't it?

Disclaimer: this is written like a threatening plot point, but I don't intend to let them at each other in this manner... at least for the foreseeable future. But it's a good card to have in the deck, yes? ; -)

[mcbex]

Strong enough*

"I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be- I give up, I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you cover me, Oh right now I'm asking you to be strong enough, for the both of us"- Matthew West.

I would like to recognize the power of the people...

When I was younger I adored my brother. I wished I could be like him. One time while on a family vacation I heard him say the phrase "power to the people", and now the phrase is a core memory for my entire family because every clip of me on my Dad's cam-corder captured me saying this on repeat. "Power to the people!" If he was cool, I was the exact opposite and in certain circles, I have yet to live down the 9 year old me's attempt at coolness. I've given up trying. Although my attempt at claiming power back from the secular world has not diminished nearly as much. Indeed the power is in us all. We just neglect to recognize this. In the mass coercion of society I wonder if we have forgotten the god of our universe starts with a big G and can help and shape the course of our lives. Have I forgotten God? I have forgotten that his power lives in me?

Recently my Dad and I had lunch, where we talked about all sorts of things... politics included. He was angry that people who were elected to do things were waiting for Trump to take office before they are willing to lift a finger. My answer to that was, that they are fearful for lack of support. This isn't a political message so I'll stop right here with this. My point in sharing that is that it takes one person standing against evil for others to gain courage to stand. But if everyone is waiting for someone to stand up for what's right, who might our hero be. And why do so many lack the courage to be the person God created them to be?

In fact it seems at times we'll do anything to seem like the right fit for the right person, even if it's at the wrong time. Sometimes, I admit, I have even stayed quiet in the face of in justice or worse, when asking God to help me, he sends what I need to be the person I should be. Then I ignore it altogether. The heart wants what it wants and sin is a twisted family member we can't seem to kick out of the house.

I think it goes deeper than just trying to influence others. I think the meat of it is, what will I do when faced with the mortal sin of man? It takes knowing that you're right and then the willingness not to go along to get along. Further it takes the stand. Standing alone is a lot like jumping off a cliff. Will anything be there to catch you? It's a bet I'm willing to take when it comes to Christ. The power given to the people stays with the people until they give it away. However it's not easy trying to follow God's path, and be that person. Even if I do recognize being that individual should be the simplest thing, because that's who I was created to be. No, it takes a lot of hard work and discipline to even know where to start sometimes. When we pass on standing up for what's right, or our beliefs or say yes when we should have said no, we become as if we're just another lost soul. That isn't something want to be any l longer. Funny that I know I'm not really equipped for any of it. I'm not strong enough. But I know a guy who is.

William Shedd said, “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” Be brave. Be bold. Live your life to the fullest. God is with you. God is for you. You are not alone.

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭1‬:‭13‬ “So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.”

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

[percontaion-points]

Delicious Monsters chapters 33 & 34

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 33

“And I wouldn’t trust Grace even if I was the most gullible person on the planet.” 

Jayden starts to open his mouth. 

“I’m not being biased! I don’t disbelieve everything she says, but I also don’t trust her.” I shake my head. “She’s making a mint off a place where the fact that people have died in it is part of the sales pitch.”

“I don’t think anyone online thinks she was some sort of innocent victim. She’s complicated. That’s what’s juicy about it.”

Wait wait wait… Is Grace STILL running the Airbnb from the house?! 

Like I get that we don’t have all of the facts about what happened ten years ago, but it kind of sounded like a lot more people died, and Daisy eventually went on trial for it. 

“No, but it also doesn’t exclude her from being a predator. Which she is.” 

He makes a sound in the back of his throat. 

We’re never going to align on Grace. I think that much is obvious.

He thinks of Grace Odlin as someone in a gray area. A victim of the horrors of that house but also someone who did what she needed to do to survive, as if continuing to book guests in a mansion with a body count to make a living is on the line instead of way over it. 

I, on the other hand, think Grace is a master manipulator. Maybe at one point she was a victim of the house, but there were too many people caught in her orbit, too many pieces that she was slotting together. That didn’t happen by chance. 

The problem is that Brittany grew up with the same kind of parent that Grace is. Emotionally abusive, standing by while things got physically abusive and doing nothing. 

Brittany sees the walking red flag that Grace is because she was once in Daisy’s shoes. Still kind of is. 

I, on the other hand, think Grace is a master manipulator. Maybe at one point she was a victim of the house, but there were too many people caught in her orbit, too many pieces that she was slotting together. That didn’t happen by chance. 

And maybe I would think differently if I’d had Jayden’s upbringing. If I’d had parents who loved and took care of me. Who went through some hard times but always looked out for me despite it. 

And there it is. 

I let out a long, pained sigh that shakes my entire body. I’m sorry, Daisy.

Chapter 33 summary: At their hotel, Brittany senses that something is super off about Jayden. He keeps leaving to make really secret phone calls. However, Brittany decides that if she acts normally, then maybe things will go back to normal.

When Jayden comes out from the bathroom, they sit together to look over the documents that Bert had sent over about the death of his wife, Liza. She was the house’s first victim in this story. Except that their relationship had been rocky, and if Liza’s death hadn’t been ruled a medical incident, they likely would have arrested Bert for it. At the end of his note, he said that Daisy was angry at Grace. Brittany speculates that it’s because Grace failed to tell her daughter that there had been a death at the house, which I think would upset anybody.

However, this is where things for Brittany start to fall apart. Jayden is 100% of the belief that Grace was a victim in all of this, too. As I mentioned, Brittany sees Grace for the abusive shitfuck that she is, if only because Brittany’s own mother is the exact same way. 

Kevin, their manager, calls them up and briefly talks about schedule and budget. He then says that they got a contract with Grace for an interview, but only under the agreement that they “wouldn’t paint Grace or Daisy in a bad light”. Which is the opposite of a true crime documentary; it’s about viewing everybody in a neutral light, and letting the evidence speak for itself. Brittany knows that Jayden’s secret phone calls were arranging this, and she yells at him for trying to turn Grace into a victim. 

She goes outside, where she takes a call from her mum. However, her mum is on a real bender, and basically tells Brittany “Nobody gives a shit about your stupid true crime show. You’re a failure. Why don’t you simply quit and move back in with me? Also, your little friend called me for an interview.” (Yes, literally in the same fucking breath.) Brittany sees red over this. 

Chapter 34

Mom had neglected to grab the guests’ grocery order, and the house only had the basics—tea and coffee, some sugar and leftover milk. I promised I would get their stuff right away. Meaning I now had to waste an hour going into town because Mom couldn’t get her shit together. 

Grace when they first moved in: You shouldn’t worry about taking care of the Airbnb! That’s my job! Your job is to be a child!

Grace, barely a month later: *literally cannot be bothered to care for her own business, leaving it 100% up to Daisy to ensure that the business doesn’t fail*

“You forgot their grocery order,” I said. 

She looked up and blinked. “Sorry, I’ll text you the details. Just pull the money out of the joint account.” 

She didn’t seem concerned about how I would get to the grocery store. Of course she wouldn’t be. Now I would have to trek over to the Okekes’ and bug King for a ride.

 I squinted at her screen. “What are you doing?” 

“Making bookings,” she muttered, back to being engrossed in the screen. 

Making more bookings… None of which she’s actually going to care for, again leaving it 100% onto Daisy to take care of.

“Hi, Grandma, it’s me, Daisy.”

Chapter 34 summary: The next weekend, Daisy ends up having to ferry the latest round of guests over to the house. When they get up to it, Daisy realises that her mum also forgot to get groceries for the guests. And what is Grace doing that’s more important than actually running her business? She’s dinking around on the computer, “scheduling future guests”. Rather than to deal with the ones she currently has. 

Daisy walks over to King’s house, where she tells him about what happened with Ivy. He apologises for not having warned her about Ivy, but says that by the time he realised that Daisy was a medium, it was a little too late. However, this only makes Daisy double down on her decision to put a stop to Ivy and stop the house. 

At the shopping centre, Daisy sees Katie lugging a bag of junk to the donation store, and goes over to talk to her. Katie says some stuff about “the terrible thing that happened to me in the house”, which obviously strikes Daisy’s interest. However, I’m positive that whatever happened to Katie has nothing to do with the dead. (My gut is still telling me that Peter was molesting little girls.) But when Katie realises that Daisy has no idea what she’s talking about, rather than to actually help this poor girl who is practically screaming out in agony, Katie is like “Okay bye.” and all but runs off. 

Daisy then calls up her grandma, which I don’t think that she’s ever done before. 

[cheryawa]

This is a personal post, so if it doesn't resonate for you, move along.

Manifesting for me has inadvertently and unwillingly had me access my own sense of self worth.

All these people you see push and push that their belief is the only way, the right way, and you have to do this and this or you're lazy and pathetic or whatever the fuck else.

It's so exhausting for someone with weak boundaries, no different from toxic self help culture. Always leveling up. Always trying to be enough, but also not too much. Trying to reach certain standards. Keep my thoughts in check. Don't beat myself up but also beat myself up for being "too negative." Beat myself up for wanting support and validation because apparently I'm not supposed to want that.

Never letting myself actually be me. I manifested so many things when I was younger, then everything basically stopped when I found out about all these rules and things people push. I was never doing it right in their eyes, and I kept trying so hard to be right, and just when I thought I'd let go of it all and figured out what I really want and believe, a new wave of people would come in pushing their new beliefs, and I'd spiral again into thinking I had to do more and be more, never an actual end goal in sight. I'd never be enough because I wasn't that kind of person.

I don't think you understand how much the "tough love" mindset pisses me off. I genuinely believe it's primarily people with power issues who prey on vulnerable people who need help to get that desired power trip. Maybe a few people out there are genuine, but tough love still isn't for me and never will be.

I've spent my whole life being nothing but insulted, dismissed, invalidated, yelled at. Yet I'm supposed to be motivated by people insulting me and telling me my problems don't matter? No.

I don't think you understand how this is an abuse tactic. "I'm only hurting you for your benefit in the long run." Then being insulted and invalidated if you say how you don't like the treatment. You're just weak and too sensitive if you don't like it.

The exact same abuse I experienced throughout my childhood, and even now as an adult.

I hate tough love. End of story. I don't have to explain myself to anyone or justify why I don't like it.

I'd see all these confident, domineering people and feel overwhelmed by them. How am I supposed to stand up to someone who's like a hurricane? Constantly going through rage after rage, feeling my boundaries trampled as people forced their beliefs onto me. I didn't know what I believed, just that I hated what everyone else was pushing on me.

I didn't have that sense of self worth, yet I was expected to force it through half-assed affirmations or I was weak and "not trying hard enough."

But maybe I don't want to feel hot. Maybe I want warmth and affection and for someone else to give me compliments. Yet this was demonized as "wrong" and "seeking validation from the 3D."

I think the manifestation community (as well as the self help community) has a massive problem with hyper-independence. A fear of vulnerability that creates this need to always be the one who's there for the self, an assumption that no one will be there for you, so you must be there for yourself.

But my whole life, I've always been there for myself. I was always alone. Always strong for myself. Even if I cried and showed vulnerability and hurt and hurt and hurt, I had no choice but to be strong. Always. Lack of vulnerability is the opposite of strength. It's fear, avoidance aligned in a way that gives the illusion of strength.

Everyone told me I had to be strong (as if I wasn't already), had to be okay with being alone (as if I haven't always been alone), had to be there for myself (as if I wasn't always there for myself). But I don't want any of those things.

I want warmth and love and affection and care. I want validation. I want to be understood in how I feel and think. I want to stop being the only one who cares about me. I want to be treated the way I deserved but never got. I want to be tended to at my worst. I want to be comforted and loved through all of the trauma I experienced. I want the freedom to be insecure and still be loved. I want to hurt and be loved. I want to make mistakes and be loved. I want to be listened to, for someone to care about me enough to tend to my wounds as I've always had to on my own.

My self love isn't cutesy handwritten notes or fancy bubble baths or affirming that I'm hot shit. My self love is my rage when people tell me I shouldn't want what I want, or how it's unrealistic, or how it's "weak" or whatever else. My anger is me loving myself enough to know something is wrong.

I was always putting others above myself because I didn't trust myself. Domineering people confuse me so easily. Years of gaslighting created a lack of self trust. How do I trust myself if nobody else agrees? I want someone to agree, but everyone says that's wrong, too, and I have to be there for myself. But I need help, but they say needing help is weakness.

After so much rage and dissociation from that rage, isolation from people not liking my defiance and anger, I had to acknowledge it. That anger was telling me all along that I have inherent worth. There is no standard to meet. I am worthy of everything I desire as I am now. I don't have to be stronger, or kinder, or meaner, or less sensitive, or more "disciplined," or more positive, or more carefree, or more rigid, or anything else.

There is nobody to be but me. I am enough as I am. I desire what I desire because I deserve it. I could not desire what I'm not meant to have. If I'm triggered and need to feel "bad," to have "bad" thoughts, I'm allowed to. It will not mess up my manifestations. Why should God have to force himself to think "good" thoughts to get what he wants? Why should God not let himself feel whatever he needs in the moment, or think whatever he needs in the moment? Why should God not inherently have and be worthy of his desires? It's nonsensical.

So now, I still struggle with letting myself feel anger without dissociation due to the intensity of my rage, but I know my anger is me wanting better. My anger is my love and I'm allowed to feel it. I'm allowed to not like it when people make me feel bad, and if they make excuses for how it's actually okay, it's not my problem. I'm allowed to dislike current circumstances. I'm allowed to want things to be different.

When I was younger, simply wanting something made it manifest. There's no reason that wouldn't work now. I don't care who says wanting is wrong or proof you don't have your desires. That has never been true for me.

To want is to love. To be angry is to love. To cry about current conditions is to love, knowing I want and deserve better. No matter who I'm being or what I'm doing. There's nothing I could do to be unworthy of my desires. There's nothing I have to do to get my desires if they're already mine. If I weep about how things are now, that doesn't suddenly make my desires not desire me.

And that is my rambling story of what I was forcibly ripped into and had to learn. I don't care who says what or who goes and repeats whatever someone else said, no matter how hard they push it as fact. This is my path and nobody else can interfere with it. I have learned so much personally and that means so much more than following along with whatever someone else is saying.

I will have all of my desires no matter what. I am worthy of them as I am now with nothing to change about myself. There is no self to change to be good enough for them. I never wasn't good enough. Society is going to keep saying to work harder to earn things and be enough, and I will keep refusing to play the game.

[emptymanuscript]

Who to propose as a positive masculine Role Model, instead of the Demagogue du jour? Seriously?

It's not an issue of masculinity, it's an issue of value. We pay lip service to what makes a good man and then we use all our cultural power to undermine it. That's why it doesn't win the hearts and minds of boys, because all our messaging is to encourage the opposite of what little boys know they value: kindness, curiosity, patience, and someone to be on their side.

Children desire power because they are powerless and they know it. They know there is absolutely nothing they can do to protect their lives and they're stuck relying on adults that don't take them seriously and won't protect them. So instead of giving them men who will help them, we tell them to TAKE their own power, to MAKE people take them seriously.

And the above exactly right, we tell them that because you can sell any number of products designed to help someone gain power. From muscle proteins, to guns, to snazzy 'you must be rich' cars. It's so much easier and more profitable to say a man is someone who has X, rather than simply that a man is someone who shows up to help.

There are more examples of positive role models than you can shake a stick at

They're local and small because they're there. The Masculine Role Model is the person who shows up to give a kid what they need.

You ever watch a tiny kid run to their teacher or coach or caretaker? They love them. There's power in that. There's the desire to be like that when they grow up because little kids know the power adults have. These men only seem weak when we say they're weak, when we call them noodly armed and four eyed and sheeple.

Everyone who grew up watching Mr. Rogers remembers and feels the power that man had. It's still a damning question, "Are you living up to who Mr. Rogers wanted you to be?" if the answer is no.

Does anyone actually think Mr. Rogers would think these demagogues, racists, and autocrats are people to be proud of? People who are good role models?

And it doesn't stop when kids are little. Teens don't connect with their parents because of the exact same reasons that little kids need those heroic role models, because they realize just how little power they have, how much they're being held back, and how terrifying the world is.

And we show them the way out is violence and strength and the ability to inflict yourself on others whether they want it or not. It's a revenge fantasy, with the teen's stand in as the hero.

Still, get the right teacher, the right coach, the right helper, teens will love them. They'll dream about doing the same.

When I was 14 I ran into Jane StClair. No, she wasn't a masculine role model. But she changed my life. She found me when she was exactly the right person to give me the exact help, hope, belief, and encouragement that I needed. I STILL love Jane StClair, 30 years later. I literally cannot picture what my life would be like without having met her, her influence was too fundamental. The choices she helped me make when I was in my teens lead on to the other choices that have defined me. She was a mentor to me and a guide and, yeah, I dream of being like her. Still.

And that's also part of the point. The fixation on the masculine will fail a substantial number of people. Looking at muscles and money will simply leave too many in the dust.

A guy in my class at the same time that Ms. StClair found me fell into a drug habit. He got clean sometime a little after college and sought out one of our teachers who had tried to help him early on in order to help him now. So he ended up, as an adult, hanging out at our old highschool. And just because of proximity he started running into the problem kids but, unlike most teachers in the school, he knew what was going one with them. He knew why he had chosen drugs and what had made it impossible to quit. He knew how to listen. And he just sort of fell into being a guidance counselor because he could understand and sympathize and had the experience to help. He became a role model to those kids to sober up and cope with their traumas because he was there and could give them what they needed, which had nothing to do with living in revenge fantasies or bending the world to their will.

That's the point of a role model, to encourage the person looking at the model to become a better version of themselves. That was actually part of why Ms. StClair was so powerful for me. She privileged my goals even when they weren't what she thought was best. She helped me become me, not a little clone of her. She understood what I needed and her own limitations and worked with me to make who I wanted to be a reality.

Do we need more bullies in the age of mass shootings? Do we need more billionaires in the age of capitalism's destruction of society? Do we need more demagogues and autocrats? Is that the kind of men anyone actually wants? Then why the hell should our role models look like that? Why are those kind of men even in the options?

Give me Mr. Rogers or Ms. StClair. Give me the guy who shows up to be a big brother or an AA sponsor. Give me the guy who shows up to help.

Maybe the real crisis of masculinity is that none of you people have FRIENDS.

[xoteajays]

Heights:

Cobra - 5'8 ½ (174 cm).

Hyuga - 5'8 (173 cm).

Murayama- 5'10 (Between 177 cm and 178 cm, depending on the site).

Rocky - 5'11 (180 cm).

Smoky - 5'9 (175 cm).

Jesse - 5'7 (170 cm).

So Cobra is about a half inch taller, since some sites list his height as 5'8 ½ or 5'8 ¼ depending on the site you read. But he's slightly taller than Hyuga.

I was actually conversation with someone before about the types of women (or partners in general terms) that the characters of High&Low would end having a preference for.

About Rocky.. You basically said everything we did for him. I don't see a man like Rocky discriminating against any woman. And, regardless of personality, I imagine him as a protective over her like he is with women. Because Rocky has his multiple successful businesses (with Club Heaven being only one of the businesses), along with his fashion sense, the man will definitely have money - so he's definitely gonna spoil his partner. Since he is a romantic, I could also imagine him spoiling them with other gifts (flowers, candy, clothes, jewelry). I see him as affectionate in a more private setting rather than public, but if by a chance that he is affection in public, basic affection like you said - holding hands, quick kisses, an arm around her waist. Like in season two, when Rocky's with that ugly girl in Club Heaven. Which also easily leads me to mentioning his kinks too, but that's just a topic for another time. So Rocky's easiest for me. Not usually into romantic men, but I could easily be projecting my romantic fantasies for him though. Rocky's the ideal romantic man type.

Exactly! Cobra is definitely the ones I'm having way too many complications trying to figure out. But I'd have to agree.. Even if she is not a physical fighter, I imagine being with a woman who's a fighter in ways where she will fight to protect what matters most - someone who stands up for her beliefs. A confident woman. Not sure about appearances though. Maybe like Rocky? Possibly someone who isn't too picky about appearances, maybe someone who will fit his personality. But that's all I can see too. Not so sure about anything else. Cobra's a complex man.

Exactly! That's what I was thinking. I imagine Yoshi being with a woman who's like his best friend at the same time. Either she matches his personality, like, y'know, the female equivalent of him in every way it could be known. But I could also imagine opposites attract types of personalities too, to some extent, in a way. But it depends on their exact personality for the connection to work. She doesn't have to be this physical fighter, but I also think Murayama actually love if she was. So he really seems more adaptable.

For Hyuga. That's what I was thinking. A personality similar to his.. The badass type of woman. Whether she's a physical fighter or not, she'll probably have a strong attitude. Confident. Intelligent. But if written well, an opposites attract could possibly happen.

And you already know what I said about Smoky's type of woman. Not that there's much to go on for his character though.

Talking with someone about original characters is kinda helping me be more focused.. Helping me to piece out, figure out, a lot more details for them the more I talk to someone about them. Maybe the "speaking aloud" concept, your thoughts makes more sense when you speak about these thoughts (or write these thoughts down).

I already have four characters. I've thought about all the other groups, character, so on and so forth. But it feels like there might be too many characters if I'd do that. And I'm still figuring out these characters.

Oh! Yeah. I forgot to say this last time. I thought the same thing as you.. I already told you that there is a person who's using Aya Asahina (similar to Kuina in AIB) as her face claim. If her character had the hair, the dreadlocks, my first thought was that she could have been related Tettsu. But she is in no relation to other characters in a family relationship.

Tao's character is another option. Because Usagi's a rock climber, parkour, she could fit as a Rude Boy if you ever wanted to use her. Or whoever you use for that character. That was just a thought.

I've been watching a lot of Korean series lately. So if this movie seems interesting to me, I might actually watch it. But no promises though.

Random off topic question. And I don't mean this in a sexual way either. Did you ever see Nijiro shirtless before? Because I saw shirtless pictures before.. He is slightly hairier than I thought he would be. Not in a bad way! Obviously guys have body hair so that is not surprising. But, for him, he has a bit more hair than I imagined him having. If that makes sense.

i just know hyuga would hate being known as the shortest sword leader. it’s one centimetre and hyuga is silently pissed. he’d be fine if he’d ever managed to beat cobra in a fight, but he couldn’t even do that.

rocky feels like an easy one. i think it definitely comes down to personality for him and how they mesh. but really, any kind of girl. i think rocky likes to pamper and money is no object. i can see him with a girl who likes to buy things and then show them off to him like ‘here’s what i bought!’; but can also see him with a girl who’s shy about spending his money so he happily buys things for her.

cobra is so difficult to figure out for someone who has so much screen time. appearances are difficult to me, because i don’t know how dudes think and i’ve got a lesbian brain that goes ‘all girls pretty’. cannot discern anything it into a ‘type’. i do think cobra, rocky and probs smokey too at least would lean more on the side of personality over looks, though all three would dole out compliments. also i remembered that there’s that scene of cobra going to buy himself a cupcake and i think it’d be cute if he had a gf who likes to bake.

genuinely think that being a fighter is all it takes to be s.exy to murayama; doesn’t matter about gender, if you can brawl, he’s like ‘ur hot’. but yeah, if not a total energy-matching gf, he needs one that supports him. someone who tries to keep him out of trouble and out of fights i feel would dampen his spirits. like sure, be worried if you must (though he’d be confused bc he’s a ‘great fighter’, he ‘never loses’), but trying to stop him from doing what he does would probably depress him in the long run. i really do just like the thought of him having a lil gf who dotes on him after his fights; she’s cleaning up his hands, and he just smiles and leans in to give her a lil kiss on the cheek or forehead.

hyuga and a similar-personality gf are such a loud couple. just confident and cocky and you see em and are just like ‘yea of course those two would get together’. like insufferably into each other. but! hyuga with an opposite-personality is such an interesting - and kind of funny - concept. i’m definitely leaning more towards favouring the former, but the latter is something i could enjoy if done well.

i am so very soft about the idea of smokey with a big-sister-to-nameless-city type gf. they’re the ‘parents’ to nameless city. im imagining them as childhood sweethearts. smokey dies and she never dates again because he was ‘the one’ for her :( she tells all the kids stories about smokey and keeps his grave tidy and never lets his memory die :( :(

that’s what i meant! it really does help to talk about ocs - or even the characters around them - to develop them more. you can really muddle out the details when you’re talking and writing stuff down, because sometimes you get to talking about something you wouldn’t have otherwise thought about.

i’m trying to keep to developing one oc at a time to not get overwhelmed. so right now i’ve got one mostly developed oc and one oc idea.

i was half-thinking of a hyuga oc and thought aya would make a good fc for her (then the takeshi oc came along and im on her now) (i also didn’t want to step on any toes with it being such a small fandom and there already being a popular oc with an aya fc). imagining her as tettsu’s sister is a lil funny. i’m just imagining a scene like:

cobra, at the end of a sword meeting: … *sigh* hyuga, tettsu would like to request you stop dating his sister.

hyuga: no ❤️

i dont know that i’d actually make her tettsu’s sister, though the image is funny, but i also think it’d be funny if they weren’t related and just looked so alike and they just *spiderman pointing meme* at each other.

i do think tao would make a good nameless city character. now i’m imagining her as the aforementioned big-sister character. her and smokey would be cute together. i’m still thinking of using yuri and her aib character’s amputated leg, since there’s quite a few videos of people doing parkour while having amputated legs so it’s not out of the question. and, since the aib character made it in the borderlands and it’s not an actual prosthetic, it looks like something they could have rigged together for her in nameless city out of spare parts.

i enjoyed it - it is a horror movie though, just as a warning, and can be kind of intense at times. it’s an entertaining watch if you’re into horror/psychological thriller movies. wi ha joon is totally excellent in it.

t.iktok and pinterest love to throw pictures of shirtless men at me after i’ve just been looking at their show/movie characters. nijiro does have a very defined happytrail. i think it’s surprising mostly because you usually don’t see a lot of east asian guys with body hair. i mean, look at the exile guys whenever they have their shirts off in music videos, they’re all very smooth.

[your-local-tired-communist]

Something I wrote

When you think of a Wings of Fire character that makes people mad, the first dragons that come to mind would probably be Scarlet, or Morrowseer, or one of the villains. You wouldn't think of a sweet innocent SilkWing, right? Well, Blue does get people mad. He sparks online arguments that are quite entertaining to read. But why does everyone hate or love Blue? What makes a character confusing? What is so interesting about a mellow pacifist? That's what we'll be looking at in this video.

THE FACTS: Before we delve into the opinions, let's look at the facts. Blue is a young SilkWing who is the main protagonist of The Lost Continent. He is described at the beginning of the book as "liking things as they are," and he would have exchanged independence for safety all the time. Sympathetic and Empathetic, he hates hurting other dragons' feelings, and puts himself in others' shoes all the time. He wants to be liked, but the way he used to get other dragons to like him was by letting them order him around. His character arc is him learning that some rules must be broken, either because they're unfair or if there is something more important. He is currently in a relationship with Cricket, who helped him develop as a character. In the following books of the third arc, he basically has the same personality, but he's more of an individual and stands up for his own beliefs. Unlike his father, Admiral. When Blue first meets his father, he thinks that it's all nice and dandy, because Admiral was just like him! After a few conversations with his father, Blue realized that what Admiral was doing, (sending letters to Queen Wasp in hopes of getting a better life while imprisoned) was fruitless, and that was Blue's main turning point. He also has a sister, Luna, and Swordtail, one of his best friends. This background information may seem unnecessary, but we need it in order to understand what's going on outside of the canon.

THE DISLIKE: Credit for the people who shared their opinions is in the description. I'll be taking a look at why people hate Blue so much. First, some hate his flaw of being too "soft", and his inability to speak up for himself and others. There does seem to be a general consensus between people who dislike Blue that he is an extremely shallow character and that he is not that smart. One person even stated that Blue had "less personality than a wet rag." A few other people claim that he's just a copy of Moon, except much more bland. All these people find him extremely boring and don't like how naive and childish he is.

THE LOVE: Credit for the people who shared their opinion is in the description. While the haters don't like Blue because of how simple he is, the lovers will say the exact opposite. They will talk about how sweet and pure and complicated his character is, and from what I've seen, they love his flaws. They love how he tries to see the good in everyone and how he'll always do what's right in the end. One user mentions his internal conflict. Of wanting to help dragons and be free, but also wanting to follow the rules, which exist for a reason, right? And to fit in. Some will say that he is intelligent, but he second-guesses himself a little too much. In all, they love Blue, flaws and all, for being such a wholesome and realistic character.

MY OPINION: I myself do enjoy Blue as a character. I think that he has excellent character development, and he's just such a sweet boi. I do find him a little bit bland, but that's just on the surface. He is not my favourite, but he is a character we should all think about a little more, in my opinion.

CONTROVERSY: So what have we learned about the way people view Blue? Either boring or real. How do we end up reading the same thing, but then interpret it in the exact opposite way? Well, it's mostly just the people's preferences, but how is the line so evenly divided? I think that if given a character that has some of the same attributes as a character that was introduced before, some will love reading a character that's similar because they loved the original the first time around. Others will find this boring because they have already read it. It's all a matter of perspective. If you love a character like Blue, maybe try to think about how it would feel if you didn't. "I've seen all of this before. What a boring character! Can we see something new?" And for those who don't like Blue, I encourage you to think about what it feels like to like Blue. "Ooh, another pacifist! I love their thought process." Be like Blue, and try to look through another lens.

Credits:

u/LeafWyvern

u/Alderan922

u/IanAlexBear

[burning-academia-if]

HI I just realized you asked for the poly version too!! Here they are:

Beck/Rook:

            Beck watches Rook, the way he clutches your hand, the way his eyes are glazed over. The curse of a true love’s kiss hangs over him. Beck can read him well, better than Rook would like to admit. He thinks that if there’s a true love here, it isn’t him. Beck doesn’t believe in there only being one true love. He loves both of you fiercely, after all.

            With a gentle force, he takes the hand Rook isn’t using to cling onto you. He blinks over at him, a soft frown on his face. Beck keeps his voice soft, “It’s alright. They’ll wake up.”

            Rook’s eyes slide away again, “It just has to be you—”

            Beck cuts him off, pressing a kiss to his mouth. Harder than he meant to, telling of all the emotions he’s trying to hide. Rook gasps, eyes wide when Beck pulls away and presses his forehead against Rook’s, “Don’t say that. It’s been the three of us in this together since the start. It could only ever work with both of us.”

            Neither can afford to doubt now. Rook stares at him for a second longer, before a light flickers in the depths of his hopeless gaze, “You’re right.”

            Beck almost laughs at the begrudging tone Rook uses. Still, the two both turn towards you. He presses a kiss against your brow, before brushing your lips. You’re still warm. The knowledge soothes him. When Rook kisses you, he cradles your face, pressing close as though trying to crawl into the depths of your sleep and pull you out.

            When he pulls away, he doesn’t let you go. Rook cradles you, and Beck settles in next to him. It only takes a moment before your eyelids flutter. Rook takes a hard breath, a tremble in your fingers when your eyes open and find his.

            “MC…”

            “Good morning.” Beck whispers, “I’m glad you came back to us.”

???/Rook:

            Rook sits on one side of where you lay and they sit on the other. He watches them, and wonders if they knew the way their body is tensed and desperate to spill blood. He’s only seen them so gentle with you.

            “A true love’s kiss.” Rook quotes, and they look up at him from under their lashes.

            A smile as fragile as glass and equally as sharp decorates their face, “Do you think whoever cursed them was hoping to tear us apart?”

            He doesn’t know why you were cursed, or why with a true love’s kiss. Still, he glances over at your sleeping form. You look far too peaceful given the circumstances. Once, there’d be doubt, but he’s long since rid himself of the person who would have run away.

            “They don’t know us well. I’ve fought like hell to stay with them, a curse isn’t going to change that.” He doesn’t believe in soulmates, a complete opposite belief from the one watching him. He does believe in whatever binds the three of you, whether those binds are good or bad.

            The other smiles, “Then, shall we?”

            He isn’t sure who leans forward first, his cheek brushes with theirs, and his nose to yours. The three of you are all connected at once for the briefest moments. Rook pulls away first, and they keep their head down, forehead pressed against yours. He imagines the blood they’ll spill later for this. He imagines how easy it’d be to help them. For now, he listens to them call your name as though praying to a God.

            You shift, and when you open your eyes, all the tension leaves them. It’s the self they can only be with you, “We’ve been waiting for you, little moon.”

Zoe & Rhea:

            “It can’t…really by the both of us…can it?” Rhea usually doesn’t doubt herself, and when she does, she tries not to voice it. But it’s hard to ignore it when the person beside her as the same exact concerns. Zoe wrings their hands together, standing next to where she sits.

            She steels herself, “We both love them and they love both of us. I don’t see why not.”

            It sounds far more certain than she could ever dream of feeling. Zoe stares at her, able to read her better now that the two of have fallen into this interwoven relationship then she’d like. Her not raising her head to look at them is a dead giveaway, but them seeing her face is the same. It’s a lose-lose situation.

            “I mean, I guess I never imagined caring for you in any way, let alone to the degree I do now. Anything’s possible.”

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” She snaps her head towards them, only to pout as they laugh at the expression she wears.

            A bit of tension has left their shoulders, “It means we just have to try. Just like our relationship. Even if it is only one of us…we wouldn’t be able to tell right? And even if we could…Do you think things would change?”

            Rhea doesn’t know the answer to that question. Still, she knows her friendship with Zoe has become just as important as her relationship with you. It’s two different types of love that both fill her heart to the brim.

            She gives a nod, “You’re right. As long as we stay together, it doesn’t.”

            “Yeah.” Zoe takes a breath. “Are you ready?”

            Before this, Rhea thought they’d be to shy to kiss you first. But they must read the still conflicting emotions on her face, because they kneel next to the bed. They duck their head, hands going to hold your own. They’re trembling slightly, but they must kiss you. Just the quickest peck, before they pull away.

            Your breathing stays even, and they raise their eyes to hers. She kneels down, too. Your eyelashes gleam in the orange twilight. Zoe closes their eyes, and presses a kiss to your hand and keeps it there. Rhea brushes her hair behind her ear and leans down. Her kiss is soft, but she can’t help but linger. A wish to the world for this to work.

            When she pulls away, Zoe makes a small squeak of surprise. She turns and sees your hand twitch in their grasp. The two of them look towards you, and when you open your eyes, they both cry your name.

            Before you know what’s going on, you’ve been scooped into their embrace, stray tears dripping down their faces.

Hello again from the ghost of old IF asks galore!! Have you answered the "MC felt asleep and the only thing that could awaken them is the true love's kiss" scenario yet, dear author? I couldn't find it, I searched, honestly 😭 But if you did, then could we please get poly reactions? Like, what if two of them should kiss MC so they can wake up? (And it did work, MC woke up!)

*crushing stage or not - all up to your preferences!

This was actually one of my favorite prompts I've gotten lol I answered it here!