#like the aspect of knowing this person over a few years and like - actively pushing away certain feelings

[wasabi-gumdrop]

"Slow burn but they're having sex the whole time" is pretty much your brand at this point

so true 😞🫶🏼 that tweet got a lil too personal but i know what i am 🤧

[ezlo-x]

“Wow I hope BotW gets a sequel someday…” - my TotK summary <3

It’s been a year, and honestly. I did not complete that game at all. I watched lets plays and cutscenes in youtube and a few playthroughs of my friends. And every time, my regret of buying this game grows ever so slightly. I know I sound mean and harsh but I prommy I got nothing against ppl who actually enjoyed TotK. This is more of my personal experience of how my excitement playing this game completely burned me out less than halfway through the game.

Gameplay

I’ll start with gameplay first, as I have issues with it. Let’s start with the physics of the game itself. Ngl, there was a small worry in the back of my mind when I realized there would be in-game physics and that you have to rely on those said physics. I personally don’t have a good experience with game physics and they usually tend to frustrate me. Which somewhat happened when playing the game. It didn’t happen too often, thankfully, maybe because the zonai parts didn’t tend to last long. Speaking of Zonai parts and builds

I wish building Zonai stuff was a bit more fun. Or at least give us more time to experience our builds. We already have a disadvantage by having a limited amount of batteries that you have to slowly upgrade throughout the game. So, seeing that one of your Zonai pieces starts to flash and disappear is annoying. I understand we can obtain more zonai parts throughout Hyrule, but I wish it lasted long enough. Also, the fact that you can’t really travel a lot in many of the builds, oh how disappointing it was to build a cool Zonai truck with big ass wheels but get frustrated that it couldn’t pass through a few bumps on the road. I feel like the Hoverbike is the best Zonai build of the game.

The Ultrahand is fun when trying to solve puzzles or merge random items. Fusing weapons, on the other hand, is my favorite thing in the game. There’s something really satisfying about fusing a really powerful weapon together. I really don’t mind that the weapons are breakable if that means I have a spot to make a strong weapon. Weapon durability never really bothered me. Both games push you to explore around to look for weapons. I think it would be boring if they weren’t breakable.

The shrines are a big improvement from BotW's shrines. I wished there were more challenging Shrines over the many King Rauru blessings. I can't really say much about the dungeons as I only completed two out of the five. But I think there was a bit to be desired; it's almost a Zelda dungeon.

Sage abilities. I want to speak to the game designer who thought it was a great idea to activate the sage abilities with the same button you click to pick up items on the floor. A total downgrade to the way you’d activate the Champion abilities in BotW.

Rupees. I would like to speak to the game designer who thought it was a great idea that you now have to manually press A to pick up rupees from the floor rather than casually walking in front of it to automatically pick it up. From my previous point, do you know how many times I’ve tried to pick up rupees only for Tulin’s ability to fly them away from me?

The sky islands, ohh boyyy, finding out that they had to reduce the amount of sky islands is disappointing, but I understand in a game design aspect. BUT it is disappointing that the game was advertising itself for the sky islands, only for there to be very few in the final. Like remember back in 2021 when they were advertising SkSw HD, and then i think a year later a totk teaser dropped and Link was falling from the skies? Good times ❤️

The Depths: I enjoyed the Depths a bit more than the Sky Islands. But it does get boring after a while if you’re not there to fight monsters or look for treasure, which is also disappointing. I love the OST descending down a chasm and entering the depths. Also, don’t get me started on how frustrating it is to use Zonai builds there compared to the surface or sky islands.

I think those are all my thoughts on the gameplay. I still have a few more issues with it but I feel like it mixes with the story so lets get that over with

Limitation vs Freedom

My biggest issue with this game is that it gives you the freedom to do whatever you want. However, there is still a story attached, and the story still wants to play out linearly. So, we have a game that grants you total freedom on how you want to play this game, but the story is still linear. But even if you decide to experience the story while doing dungeons and shrines. The game doesn't update with the piece of information that you discover.

The Dragon Tears are a really flawed way to experience the story. Zelda's memories are scattered across Hyrule; the number of times I've seen ppl say they accidentally got the tears out of order cause they thought it was similar to BotW's way of getting the memories. Basically, if you happen to be near one memory, you might as well get it cause it'll get annoying to go back and forth. Only to the person's shock, they got a cutscene meeting the Queen and King and then going up the Hebra region as that's the closest memory from the previous one. Just to see Queen Sonia dead on the floor.

What also bothers me is that the game doesn't update when you make a discovery in these memories. For example, I found out that Phantom Ganon can transform into Zelda in the memories and walk up to the NPCs in hopes of a change of dialogue. But getting nothing, walking up to Purah, Tulin, then Yunobo, and seeing no change of dialogue got really tiresome. It's as if the game doesn't believe you're smart enough to connect the dots.

Also, for people who decided to explore and get the Dragon Tear memories before entering any dungeon. There is very little change of dialogue, suddenly the game strangely punishes you by not letting the npcs acknowledge what you just discovered. While it's not an actual in-game punishment, you're stuck with characters asking a million questions that you already know of. Suddenly, the game's freedom to do whatever you want gets put to a halt because you decide to have the freedom to experience the story however you'd like.

NOW I get to move the part that I’ve been waiting (dreading) for!!

Lore

Sheikah Tech…I don’t care how simple the explanation is on why they are gone. It is probably the dumbest explanation I’ve seen. The fact that it wasn’t even questioned in-game and by the developers baffles my mind. How does it vanish in thin air? Their explanation is that the Calamity no longer exists doesn’t make sense to me either. The Sheikah tech has been there for more than 10k years but only in a dormant state. I don’t want to ask any more questions, or I’ll be here all day, but it drives me up a wall how the lore of the Sheikah got shafted to the side for the new stone technology aesthetic. Speaking of which-

Zonai in general. The fact that WE DONT EVEN GET LORE from the Zonais aside from being viewed as gods is sooooo ughhhhh I wish there was more. Why are there two remaining Zonais? (This probably got answered tbh but idc to look) Who’s the ancient hero and how come he looks like a Zonai or just in fact a different race we’ve never seen before?

Draconification…god. I have many thoughts and also many thoughts about the secret stones. It is an idea that I find interesting and could’ve worked for me. If it didn’t contradict itself in many aspects, as in how becoming a dragon, you will lose your sense of self. I think it would be a nice foreshadowing of the fate Zelda could’ve had. I think making the other dragons take a role in that and expand on it would’ve worked. Idk I think instead of implying it, it could’ve been expanded and shown a lot more severity of the situation.

Apparently I don’t got much on lore, but you know what I got much of????

STORY

This one is going to be a FAT one so bear with me. God where do I even begin here, I'm going completely omit the part where the game feels like it’s gaslighting you through the npcs cause I feel like everyone knows that.

My biggest frustration with this game is that it has such interesting story concepts and cinematic moments. But I can’t but feel like these moments were there first, and everything else was built around it. However, whatever suspicion I feel about how they created this story, only to my shock and horror that there isn’t a credited group of people in the credits, only an outside team (company?). Before I continue, I think it’s dumb when people say TLoZ didn’t have much of a story when previous Zelda games had a storyline to follow (OoT, MM, WW, TP, fucking…even Link’s Awakening, and more). So yes, TLoZ does have stories. It’s not just about the dungeons if I'm being honest.

What I find so odd is that Monolith Soft has games such as the Xenoblade games, where the latest game of that series does have a credited team of writers. Hell, BotW had two credited writers. But I won't go far speculating why they decided to hire a company outside the team to write TotK; it is only interesting to me why they did that. Since there really isn't a solid team of writers, I will focus my issues on Fujibayashi as a story writer; after all, he is the director of this game. And I've seen multiple interviews after the game's release where he explains a lot of the game's "lore" and story that should've been easily explained in the game in the first place. I think this will be me sharing my opinions rather than critiques... boy where do I even begin...

Sages—the ancient sages, not counting Mineru, are pointless. I felt no connection seeing the Ancient Sages meet their predecessors. Can't believe Age of Calamity made me feel more strongly about the Champions meeting their predecessors than the ancient sages did. - I also think they really don't share anything important. Maybe the first time, yes, but you could easily remove their cutscenes and just have Mineru explain how everything went down, and nothing will change. - Now, to the present Sages, I can't really say much, sadly. Tulin and Yunobo were the only characters for whom I completed their quests, and I enjoyed their character arcs, especially Yunobo's. If I could pick up TotK again, I would try to do Riju's arc, as it seemed really fun to play from the playthroughs I've seen my friends do. I don't really care for Sidon. Before I dropped the game, I was going through his quest and got really irritated fast for many reasons that I have mentioned here previously.

King Rauru and Queen Sonia – There has never been a character that I've enjoyed where I think they deserved much better than what they were there for. I get it; Sonia was only there as the character to be killed off to move the plot forward, but oh my god...I could've saved her. I wished we could've seen her more involved in the story than just standing by Raruru's side. - King Rauru, my brain turns foggy when I think of this man, and sometimes there are too many words to explain my issues. But to water it down, I feel we centered ourselves too much on these characters who don't even affect the main protagonist to some degree. Sure, King Rauru first appears at the beginning to show you his magic hand abilities. But I guess I was hoping something like how the previous TLoZ games had your companion help you throughout your journey and are the key fact of many things in the story (Midna and KotRL appear in my head when I mention this).

Zelda—sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I think this game would've been 10x better if she had been the protagonist. I know it probably wouldn't make sense because she turns into a dragon by the end but Idc. What frustrates me about Zelda is that she's given very few options. It's a war or nothing. It's becoming a dragon or being stuck in the past forever. I guess that's the tragedy of her story, but instead of me feeling sad, it frustrates me.

Link—Oh god, here we go. Link has a very small role in this, and you can disagree with me. But how is it possible that this is one of the few Links that has little involvement in the story? Link just happened to stumble into a bigger mystery than it already was. Link didn't even prove himself to Ganondorf why he's a threat to him aside from the first cutscene and Rauru.

Ganondorf - .........I hope this is the last time we see Ganondorf in the series. I know that sounds shocking, but if Fujibayashi is going to take the lead in storytelling for future games, I don't want him to make another iteration of Ganondorf. To me, Fujibayashi works better by making completely new Zelda villains. Ghirahim and Kohga are perfect examples. Ganondorf in this game was so underwhelming and disappointing. He never directly confronted himself with either Link or Zelda. Gameplay wise, he's great, but the story? What is he doing here? Literally, it feels like they only brought Ganondorf back because people questioned about Ganondorf back in BotW.

Conclusion

There are many aspects of the game that I enjoy; however, in my case, the bad outweighs the good. That's why this game frustrates me: There was a lot of potential to be seen. There is probably more for me to say that I'm either intentionally leaving out or just forgetting cause there are many things. Happy one year TotK 🎉🎉🎉

[soul-controller]

The Ten-Millionth Like

As the new year rolled around, 24-year-old Martin was eager for a fresh start. While he had a laundry list of aspects of himself and his life that he longed to improve, the number one priority for him was to invest fully into his physical health. As such, when he was walking the streets of his Mexican town one day and noticed a promotion outside of a local gym advertising a special deal for new members, the man was quick to head inside and sign-up.

In the two months since signing up for that New Year’s deal, Martin had pushed aside his own anxieties and worked tirelessly in the gym to help reshape his body. While he was still in possession of a rather average physique as evident by the few areas of flab that remained on him, there were already clear results displayed as the man’s muscles looked just a smidge thicker. Since he hadn’t expected such prominent results already, Martin was understandably quite proud of himself already for his progress given the fact that he had never been one to really workout or be physically active growing up.

But despite his pride, the man knew that he couldn’t solely thank himself for his sudden prowess in the gym. Given the age of social media and the ability to easily search for assistance without having to pay exorbitant amounts for a personal trainer, places like YouTube and Instagram were able to easily help the man navigate his way to a rather consistent workout schedule to help him achieve his desired dream body. While there were certainly a slew of people that Martin looked into, there was no one that he looked up to more than Eric Janicki.

Not only was the man an absolute beast of bulk worthy of competing in bodybuilding competitions, but Eric was an absolute sweetheart and seemingly not as cocky as other fitness personalities like him. With all of these factors in mind, it wasn’t much of a surprise that Martin quickly fell in love with the hunk and his dorky personality. As such, Eric became Martin’s go-to account anytime he needed tips for his workouts and diets or just any sort of visual encouragement to do an intense gym session.

Since Martin had such an appreciation and crush for Eric, the man also shamelessly turned on notifications so he could be one of the first individuals to support the man’s Instagram posts. Given the fact that Martin had no real money to support the man via personal training sessions, the best he assumed that he could do was immediately like any post and jump straight into praising the man (or thirsting for him depending on just how horny he was). As Martin began to get himself ready to head out for an afternoon workout session, a ding from his phone notified him that Eric had just made a new post. Eager to showcase his usual form of appreciation, the man tapped onto the notification and allowed it to bring him straight to the brand new post. Before the video could even start playing, Martin had already quickly typed out a message of appreciation and posted a comment. Smiling to himself, the man finally double tapped on the post so he could go back to getting ready for his impending gym session.

But as soon as that logo of a white heart emerged in the center of the video, Martin’s entire body seized up. Fear quickly arose in the young man’s mind as he lost all control and found himself growing more and more disoriented the longer he stood upright. As much as he wanted to cry out for help or make his way over to a nearby chair, he remained completely stationary until the disorientating feelings grew too much to bear. Like a goat after being scared, the man suddenly felt himself falling backwards on his back of his heels until he tumbled down towards the ground. As soon as his head hit the ground in a resounding thwap, Martin fell straight into unconsciousness.

While he didn’t know how long he was out cold, the faint arrival of someone speaking was at least able to indicate to Martin that he at least hadn’t died. “Hey dude, are you ok?” the disembodied voice said, with clear emotions of shock and extreme concern expressed. Slowly but surely, the pain in the back of his skull slowly began to recede and as a result, he finally began to gingerly open his eyes. Looking straight up from the ground, his eyes couldn’t help but narrow at the sight of a smaller blond-haired man leaning down over him while continuing to ask if he’s ok. Still groggy, Martin could only extend a hand to get across the message of his desire to get back on his feet. Luckily the skittish man was quick to jump into action, grasping both hands around Martin’s outstretched hand and pulling him back up while uttering a deep groan.

Throughout his journey back to an upright standing position, Martin’s attention was fully trained on the arm he extended outwards. Somehow, the flesh of his arm was much lighter in shade, now seemingly in a lighter white shade in comparison to the rich and darker complexion that indicated his Mexican heritage. While that could have surely been just attributed to some sort of strange lighting, the sight of his arm’s bulkiness made it impossible to believe that this was all due to the lighting. The arm was incredibly wide all of the way from the hand up to the shoulder, as evident by the forearms that revealed intense vascularity all of the way up to a terrifying huge set of biceps. Was his body inflating and turning lighter in complexion due to some sort of allergy from the food he had prior to passing out? If so, he needed to get to the hospital immediately!

As if the universe was testing just how much shock the man could experience at once, the other man’s voice interrupted Martin as he looked down at himself and stared confusingly at the gray tank top he was now wearing. “Uh Eric, are you ok dude?” he said, which caused Martin to immediately lift his head up with a shocked expression on his face.

“Wha- who’s Eric? My name is Martin,” the man exclaimed, his sanity starting to finally break as he looked down at himself and started to hyperventilate. Nothing in the field of vision before him resembled his true self. He had seemingly changed ethnicities and lost all of his flab to become someone that resembled a real-life version of The Hulk (minus the green skin).

“Oh shit, I think you might have a concussion,” the other man stated, himself starting to hyperventilate as he frantically searched around and grabbed his cell phone. “Uh, stay right here bro,” he continued, “I’m gonna get a doctor to come and check you out!” Before Martin could even inquire further about what was going on, the other man had disappeared from the home gym and left Martin alone with his bulky body and frantic mind.

Everything about this scenario was so confusing to Martin, so much so that all he wanted now was answers. As such, he was eager to get out of this home gym and do his own sleuthing. So after leaning out and poking his head out of the doorway to verify that the other man wasn’t nearby still on the phone, Martin headed down the hallway in search of a bathroom. Upon opening the fourth door down, his first quest was finally fulfilled as he saw the familiar sight of a restroom. Rushing in, the man groaned in pain as the top of his forehead rammed against the top of the door frame. Given his former stature as a 5’6” man, it was quite unexpected to suddenly find himself tall enough to conk the head of his now 6’1” body against an entryway.

Regardless of the pain now throbbing at his forehead, Martin ducked his head underneath the door and finally entered the bathroom. Upon navigating his incredibly wide and bulky body into the tiny room, Martin turned to face the mirror and gasped at the discovery. Instead of his own body, he now found the vision of Eric Janicki reflected back at him! While it was surely a shock to become such a behemoth of a man, it also was quite erotic to realize that he was now in control of his biggest crush and gym inspiration. Although it was eerie to find no semblance to his former self in Eric’s own features, that fear quickly dissipated and turned into an observation that he adored. While he enjoyed his old features such as his big and round brown eyes, they paled in comparison to the gorgeous ice blue eyes that he now saw with. In fact, everything about Eric was better than Martin’s old self from his head all of the way down to his feet.

Eager to get a better look at every aspect of his new self, Martin took the opportunity to display his newfound strength by tearing the gray tank top to shreds while dropping his shorts down to the floor. Holy shit, Martin thought to himself as he got the once in a lifetime opportunity to see such a bulky physique in his reflection while also looking down. Eric’s pecs were incredible in the mirror, but they were even hotter due to just how far they jutted out when Martin looked down. Looking back up into the mirror, he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he took in his handsome model-like visage. Not surprisingly, the reflected gorgeous blue eyes immediately drew his attention, but other elements such as the trimmed facial hair and angular features of his nose and jawline became just as impactful.

Taking a moment to grab the phone that was hidden in the pocket of the crumpled-up shorts, Martin quickly unlocked the man’s phone and took the opportunity to document his first ever flexing session as a now 30-year-old buff bodybuilder-sized hunk. Although he himself didn’t have much knowledge about posing styles, the combination of both Eric’s own muscle memory and Martin’s own recollection of the man’s videos allowed him to seamlessly flex for the camera.

Even though he was more than turned on by the sight of Eric’s body, the dampness of Eric’s sweaty skin quickly caused Martin to veer into documenting something much more erotic. Lifting one arm up and over his head, Martin wasted no time shoving the strong and angular nose he now possessed right into his own armpit. Taking in the scent of Eric’s own body was like the sweetest drug to Martin, as evident based on the fact that he couldn’t convince himself to pull away and inhale the non-musky fresh air.

But as a ding from the man’s phone finally echoed through the bathroom, Martin finally pulled himself away from the trimmed armpit and checked the notification. Although he wasn’t going to originally go read the message, the snippet displayed to him instantly caught his attention. “I know you’re not the real Eric Jan-” it said, which immediately caused him to frantically tap on the notification and see what was going on.

With intense fear now written across his face, the man quickly read through the message to understand what was going on. “I know you’re not the real Eric Janicki. If you want to know what happened and also keep this body, respond to me ASAP,” it read, which caused Martin to take the opportunity to check out the account of the individual sending the message. Despite the threat of losing this body, Martin’s own curiosity couldn’t be contained as he checked the account and realized that it was an apparent mutual of Eric’s. As such, the man was even more curious about how this happened and how this woman knew about it.

“Uh hi, I’m here,” Martin typed out, cautiously approaching the situation due to not knowing whether the woman was a friend or a foe.

“Well hey there, congrats on being the lucky individual to swap bodies with Eric! 🥳” the response said, which only made Martin more confused.

“How do you know about that?” Martin boldly stated, opting to be upfront about it rather than skirting around the conversation. Clearly, they both knew what had happened so there was no point in trying to play coy about it.

As such, the woman wasted no time taking credit for the swap and stating that it was perfect revenge for her “narcissistic cunt of an ex”. Pressing further for more details, Martin was able to quickly learn that the woman is a novice witch who had concocted the ultimate revenge plan for Eric Janicki. According to her, the two of them had begun dating in high school and even went to the same college together. But as time went on, his focus shifted away from school and their relationship and solely onto his muscle growth and social media following. Before long, the two of them had split rather hostilely as she vowed to punish him for mistreating her and ignoring their relationship. Eager to get her revenge, the woman soon found herself invested in witchcraft and cast a spell that would swap him with the body of an individual who would verify his success. 

Unbeknownst to either of them, the interpretation of the spell made it so the swap was activated once Martin became responsible for Eric’s ten-millionth like on Instagram. In fact, the only reason why the woman was able to tell the swap occurred was due to the residual ripples of the magic utilized in the body swap.

While Martin was quite intrigued by the details revealed to him, this only made him more curious about what that meant for him. Now that she had swapped him with Eric, what would the woman want from him now? As such, the man posed such a question and found himself rather intrigued by the response.

“Oh, I want nothing from you,” she said. ”I just wanted to teach him a lesson and take him away from the body that he devoted all of his time to. Obviously, I can always swap you guys back if I want, but I have no real intention of doing that. As long as you’re not an asshole to people and just act like a good-natured guy, you’ll remain as Eric. But if you become egotistical about your new body and life, I won’t hesitate to swap you with someone else. Got it?”

While the woman seemed fairly nice and approachable once they had begun talking, the final threat of undergoing another body swap was quick to get Martin to agree to her terms. “Oh absolutely, you’ve got my word. I won’t be as shitty as he was, I promise!” Martin quickly fired back, which had seemingly convinced the woman enough as she told him goodbye for now while once again warning him about her keeping an eye on him.

Grabbing the phone and pulling back on a pair of shorts, Martin was quick to push aside his former life and just embrace his status as the one and only Eric Janicki. As such, the new Eric made his way out of the bathroom with a spring in his step. While the threat of the woman swapping his body with another random individual would continue to persist for the rest of his life, Eric vowed to not make the same mistakes as his predecessor. Unlike the former Eric, he wouldn’t allow fame and notoriety to get to his head. Instead, he was going to continue to focus solely on delivering content that inspires and assists people to become the best and buffest individuals they could possibly be.

Upon heading back into the home gym, Eric soon found himself running back into the young man who had discovered him on the ground. After being asked repeatedly whether he was ok, Eric stated that he had “never felt better” and was eager to get back into filming his content. Although there was some slight trepidation on the other man’s part about whether Eric was actually ok, he ultimately took the man’s word and grabbed onto a camera sitting on a bench. Quickly, the pieces began to be put together as Eric realized that the man was his personal videographer that helped him create content for his social media.

After taking a moment to accessorize his body with a headband, the formerly average Mexican man was eager to begin his first recorded workout as Eric Janicki. Although he was most certainly eager about everything, the presence of butterflies in his stomach suddenly emerged and grew in intensity just as the director counted down towards beginning the recording. Although it was slightly anxiety-inducing to be recorded front and center, his constant viewings of Eric’s content left him feeling rather relaxed as soon as the recording began.

“What is up guys, Eric Janicki back here with another workout today…” he stated, immediately doing the man’s signature intro with a flex. Although this was his first time ever performing on camera, the new Eric felt like he was a veteran at it. As soon as he got past the intro, the man was running like a well-oiled machine as he easily navigated through introducing each workout and demonstrating it for the viewer. Throughout the entire process, he couldn’t help but feel himself growing more and more turned on by just how easy it was for him. Not only that, but the longing stares of the director left Eric feeling even more encouraged (and turned on) to be the best he could possibly be.

Upon finishing up the recording, Eric was feeling incredibly sweaty and extremely horny. Based on the looks that the director was giving him, it clearly seemed as though he felt more than just adoration for Eric’s incredible physique. No, he definitely wanted to explore that physique rather intimately. So while the former Eric had a reputation of being a full-fledged straight man, the new Eric was more than willing to break out of that mold and thus began to make his move on the director.

This newfound confidence brought on by his new body was quite evident as it was only mere seconds before the two men were pulling each other out of their clothes. Eric was eager to demonstrate his strength and show-off for his director, easily tearing off the director’s shirt and pulling down the man’s underwear and shorts. Eager to lean in further towards his own personal kink of armpits, Eric was quick to shove the nerdy-looking man’s face deep into his pit to inhale that exhilarating sweaty odor for himself. As the man’s muffled moans and groans echoed through the home gym, both men were reaching peak horniness and thus demanded immediate release.

Pulling the man out of his armpit and into a passionate kiss, Eric was even more turned on because he could both taste and smell his own sweat on the man’s lips as they continued to make out. Before long though, the director had a wide smirk on his face as he eagerly presented his tight little bubble butt to his boss. Licking his lips and staring at the submissive director, Eric was more than eager to take advantage of it. So after lining up his python of a cock against the man’s tight asshole, Eric was quick to press deep within the man and fuck him with intense passion and vigor. As the two men both rushed towards euphoric highs, the room became filled with a cacophony of guttural moans and grunts until they both came in unison.

Upon pulling out the man’s ass and cleaning himself off, Eric Janicki was quite excited for the new lease on life he had been given. He wasn’t going to let the moments go to waste, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to allow himself to ever be taken away from this glorious new life and body!

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[etirabys]

I've been absent from tumblr for nine days because I was in Philly for a 800 person twitter con (whose constituents roughly map onto the rationalist tumblr diaspora, culturally). I was tweeting up a storm in conjunction with meeting twitter people irl and barely checked tumblr.

The con itself stretched over a long weekend, but I arrived four days early for preparties and stayed two days for postparties. I am on the plane right now, returning home. I got about twelve weeks of normal socializing in nine days. In the last four days I was taking small amounts of Ritalin to get through the day. That sounds bad, but that's how much I valued talking to weird internet people and having unique interactions that you cannot have outside of festivals.

The last iteration of this con last year had 300 attendees. At the time, I had 180 twitter followers, mostly from the times tumblr melted down and everyone including me advertised where they were elsewhere, as insurance. I munchkinned the hell out of socializing at the first con, got an additional 100 active followers that provided enough attention for a self-sustaining poasting reaction, and am at 2500 now.

I'm approximately the same person on twitter that I am on tumblr, except I don't post my erotica (my twitter followers skew more heavily male, so I'm less willing to be sexual) and I'm more strategic about seeking clout. I like to think I stay away from the clout-chasing things I find really gross (like having takes about politics nonstop, or starting beef), but I currently treat getting twitter followers as an enjoyable game.

It's nice to have a place where I'm explicitly seeking power, as it is nice to have a place (here on tumblr) where I'm explicitly not. My tentative plan is to hit 10-20K and then push the "trying" lever to off. I know a number of "microcelebrities" who get no stalkers or murder threats, but can go to just about any major city and have a place to crash, or people to show them around. That is what I want for myself.

I explain this not very flattering thing as context for what the con was like for me.

Most of the time, I exist socially the way most people do – avoiding risks and being discreet with dissent to keep the peace. I think people go to events like this one or Burning Man to get a freaking break from having to do this – as long as the con is full of reasonably mature and interesting people, the atmosphere becomes wonderful when they coordinate to drop the pretense for a week. I ran into a person who had a bad interaction with my acquaintance a few years ago, and told him I thought poorly of his actions but wanted to hear his side of the story. (The ensuing interaction was illuminating and pleasant.) A guy came up to me and observed that he'd made several conversational bids this year and last year, I had seemed to dislike this every time, and asked if I would prefer he never approach me again. We proceeded to have an extremely autistic debugging conversation, in front of several of his friends, about whether we should speak again in the future. (The solution: yes, he can try again, but pick a question from Askhole – don't inflict small talk on me.) I ran up to Famously Evil-Alien-Vibes-Having Economist Robin Hanson and said, "I have nothing to say to you in particular, but I find you interesting and I want to hang out," and then we argued for an hour about the fertility crisis. After asking for blessing to say something negative, I told a blogger whose blog post that I'd otherwise really liked that there had been one aspect that I found disingenuous. We had a good back and forth after I said this.

What I found so addictive about this con is that my popularity-seeking drive and my honesty-seeking drive – both of which I somewhat repress most of the time – were not only expressible, but in harmony. It is quite inappropriate to be super open and openly autistic in most social contexts. Here, I could say exactly what I meant, and as long as I delivered it in the right way, people would like me for it. The conversation where the guy started with "You don't seem to like me, should I never talk to you again?" should by most predictive measures have been awkward and unpleasant – but I got the sense, steadily, that he (and his friend who eventually joined in) liked me for how I was responding to him. All I had to do was, literally, just say what I really thought, and it somehow all worked out.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

If you’ll humor a poor elderly 28 year old for a bit, I’ve been mad for the past few days and I’d like to vent to someone. The newest Fire Emblem game came out, and since I’ve been Touhou-dodging spoilers, I only just recently looked up the actors for the game. And I found out that they replaced a long-time voice actor for a staple character (Anna), and people were celebrating because the actress is conservative (and like not even VISIBLY conservative, she doesn’t talk politics at ALL) (1)

(2) So people are celebrating her being replaced, right? Well her replacement actress is a “Believe All Victims” woman who suddenly decided not to believe all victims when it was revealed her fiancé is a twice-divorced domestic abuser who has recorded threats of killing one wife’s dog and threatening the other (or the same one, details are fuzzy) that he’d beat her with a TV remote. And she actively defended him and is still engaged to him. (2, I swear 3 will be the last one)

(3) And I know this is a phenomenon that we KNOW is hypocritical bullshit, but I still feel compelled to ask: how are people so vitriolic over someone’s politics that they’d willingly take someone worse? Like… I absolutely don’t care about someone’s politics, so long as they’re not assholes. One of my favorite actors who has a sexy-as-fuck voice is one of those far-left types, I could not give less of a shit so long as he’s not a douchebag or a literal criminal.

First off, exCUSE you with that elderly 28 year old crap. As a 35 year old who just got over turning 30, you shut your youthful, radiant mouth. Enjoy your 20s. Be grateful each day to be further away from your teens.

Now to your actual ask, lol

I'm gonna be making some of assumptions of motivation here, because I can't actually read minds, but for most of these people, it's seems to be because nothing matters more than The Cause. The thing is, The Cause is always changing. Sometimes, The Cause is general left wing politics. In that case, they'll usually ignore or excuse things like abuse or misogyny if they had already previously supported the person accused of those things against an Evil Conservative. (see, Joe Biden killing #MeToo, Bill Clinton raping Juanita Broaddrick, Ted Kennedy and the Car That Wouldn't Stay Out of the Water, etc). Sometimes, The Cause is feminism, in which case being a Democrat or a liberal who does the Wrong Thing might not protect them if they're a man. (See, Johnny Depp) Sometimes The Cause is transgenderism, is which case it doesn't matter how feminist or left wing you are, you must be destroyed for not enthusiastically supporting every aspect of trans rights activism or even associating with anyone who doesn't support every aspect of trans rights activism in even the most tangential ways (see, JK Rowling, Mark Hamill, TERFs in general).

The left, especially the socially conscious left, love eating their own. Their entire movement revolves around punishing the guilty and obsessively checking themselves and others for thoughtcrimes. That kind of frothing mob mentality doesn't leave much room for common sense or self-reflection. Which is exactly what the people at the top pushing these ideas want.

[strwbmei]

"Does anyone else just have an inherent belief that they are a bad person?.."

•

Literally. I had this little thing from a few years ago that I managed to somewhat push down. It's weird and I don't know how to feel about it. It's like- I sometimes overthink too much and sabotage myself, thinking something in the lines of; "I am not attractive/good/successful enough to be happy alongside my friends/family" (and it's something simple like laughing together or just hanging out around them)

[It got so bad that I dedicated 2 years into 'fixing' my nose bump that was (and kind of still is) my biggest insecurity, and ended up breaking my nose, damaging some internal shit that made it fill with liquid, not to mention the pain, and now I am left with a permanent red scar on my nose bridge, but at least I got over it and changed my view of it - it's something so little and so insignificant but it somehow makes me feel like less than other people.]

In my case it's mostly based off appearance but I also feel like I should be as productive as an adult while I am actually just a depressed teenager (16). I feel like I am wasting my time with anything that I don't get a clear result out of. I have really high standards for myself. Being a perfectionist also doesn't help my case. So a 'solution' to this is my new schedule that I hold myself strict to - getting up at 5 am, doing all sorts of things while still having most of my time go to school, doing a specific sport 3 times a week for my dad (nevermind that I still have my own goals and work out separately), actively trying to get better at art and writing, as well as pick up new hobbies, and still aiming to get around 8 full hours of quality sleep.

What I'm trying to say is that I subconsciously and consciously think that I will become a failure if I don't excell in every aspect of my life - education/hobbies/skills/social life.. etc. And that gives me the twisted thought that I don't deserve happiness before I actually achieve something significant.

I kind of went on a bit of a ramble here but your post awoken a memory that I needed to write down (to maybe get my head cleared)

One thing that has really helped me, and continues to, is MBTI. But the deeper version of it that's more than just the immaculate, 'for fun' test - the actual trying to understand the way that different people's brains work.

I am no expert on it but I am getting the hang of it. Enough to find out my MBTI - ENTJ (8w9). Knowing my strengths and weaknesses, and the thought process I go through have really helped me better understand and eventually better myself, I also find it quite fun.

So yeah, I feel like a 'bad' person quite a lot.

I'm sorry if my post made you uncomfortable in any way. I can't say that I've ever gone to the same extent, but I definitely empathize with the feeling that I don't deserve to be happy unless I do something that others deem remarkable and worthy of attention. I don't know you personally, but I'm sure that you aren't a bad person!

On the more positive side, mad respect to you for somehow being able to balance all of that stuff! I can barely keep up with having 3 hobbies, ahaha... I'm glad you found a healthy way to cope with what you're feeling, though.

[zairas-realm-gateway]

when bege met with sanji, he specifically said that he would be marrying the 35th daughter of the charlotte family AND says her name is pudding. he has a nasty history of being perverted towards teenage girls after the timeskip (he literally Turns To Stone upon seeing shirahoshi, who is only 16) and his attitude with pudding is no exception (she even comments on his perversion during the wedding ceremony. there was no "brainwashing" involved, he is just a perv.)

im a sanji fan myself, but you can't turn a blind eye from his behavior towards teenage girls. he is 21 years old in canon after the timeskip. pudding being "mentally 18" is such a gross way to explain why sanji might view her as older than she really is and as someone who was groomed by a pedophile for acting older than i actually was at the time, that phrasing sets off so many red flags in my head.

im not necessarily saying sanji is a pedophile (because i truly dont believe that he is given his attraction to All women and 16 is the lowest age hes acted like that towards), but it is still extremely weird of him and people making fun of him or criticizing that aspect of him is perfectly fine and you shouldn't take it as a personal thing. that is just how oda wrote him. (but hey at least he's not kyros or vander decken who genuinely ARE pedophiles.)

You make some good points.

Alright, I'll take the correction on Bege telling him her name. But that still doesn't give any other details. Sanji isn't told her age, occupation, baking skills, etc.

I have a lot to say on his intricate and nuanced forced relationship with Pudding.

Long post and discussion under the cut

As for for the history with teenage girls post-ts, I think it's just Shirahoshi??? And while I'm not saying that's good, I will say that I am conflicted on some of the characterization in Fishman Island. I haven't read it in a long time so I'm just working off what I remember here. While the plot of Fishman Island is great, I always have some issues with the arc itself. It always feels a little off to me. Like some of the characterizations are just a little wonky here and there throughout the entire arc. It feels like Oda forgot how to write a few characters. It also feels like he's using that arc to see how far he wants to push new gags or personality aspects he's trying to work with after the IRL mini timeskip. Like he doesn't quite know just yet who some of the straw hats are after their time skip. I'm not saying that excuses Sanji's behavior, I'm just saying it makes me conflicted over the legitimacy of Sanji's personality in that arc. Because like Oda doesn't use the "almost die from bloodloss gag" again after fishman island either so it just always kinda feels like Oda was fumbling around in the dark with Sanji (as well as a few others) in Fishman Island. That's just me, though.

As for Sanji being obsessed with Shirahoshi's beauty, wasn't that like the whole thing with her? Wasn't like the entire country obsessed with how pretty she was? I could be mistaken but I thought I remember the citizens being enamored by her as well. I ain't saying it makes it better, I'm just saying that Oda made that a weird prominent detail if I'm remembering it right.

And I didn't say that that Pudding was "mentally 18" nor do I think she is, I said that she could be mistaken for 18 in a quick meeting. Meaning he wouldn't question her age as he actually barely got to talk to her at all. I think he only ever spoke to her like 2-3 times and never for very long or unchaperoned (judging by how Pudding talked about Sanji). Especially since Pudding is an excellent actor and is actively manipulating Sanji in a specific way that Big Mom has coached her to do. Neither family cared if Sanji and Pudding liked each other or cared about what was healthy for them so they would have no reason to let them interact for very long. As someone who was emotionally abused by my mother, when I was a teenage I took on personality traits and speaking patterns of someone older than myself (a common problem with emotional abuse). People often mistook me for being older than I actually was in short conversations. If Sanji never had any actual long conversations with Pudding, he'd have no clue that's she's not actually 18. While this doesn't make things right, it would explain some behaviors.

He doesn't actually want anything to do with her. He just wants to go home.

As for what I consider Sanji basically brainwashing himself is just him talking himself into an obsessive and possibly dissociative mindset. Sanji's under so much duress and his mental health is so incredibly fractured right now that if he's going to survive, his only option is to construct a dreamworld so far out of reality that he's actually happy and in love with Pudding.

Because of the sudden influx of trauma, stress, and crippling hopelessness, Sanji's grasp on reality is quickly crumbling. He needs to take any handhold he can grab. The only handhold he's allowed to take is Pudding. He calls her his "Ray of Hope". And because of this, he throws himself so hard into her orbit that he goes to the extreme of being creepy because now his only grasp on reality is Pudding.

This protective delusional headspace he's in is so strong (again, common for people who have suffered severe trauma and abuse) that he stays in it until he sees her eye. Because he if didn't have this headspace to keep him "calm" beside his would-be murderer, the wedding ceremony on the cake may have ended in actual disaster. And all their plans would be ruined.

After he gets through to Pudding by calling her eye beautiful, the very real danger of him being murdered is gone and he's released from his protective headspace. Which explains why he's so platonic towards her during the escape and all the cake baking despite the fact that she's constantly melting when he even looks at her.

What I am saying is that if Sanji called out for simping on teenage girls was a definable trend in his personality, why is he never all over Carrot? From what I remember (and I could be wrong), he only ever treats her like a little sister. She's young and pretty but still in Zou Sanji simps over the adult women minks rather than Carrot, despite her platonically being all over him (minks are just very affectionate). Hell, he seeks out Pedro more than Carrot.

I'm not saying that Sanji shouldn't be called out for being a fucking perverted idiot. Because he is one. I'm just saying that it pisses me off when people write him off as a one-note creep not worth thinking about instead of taking the time to understand that Sanji is extremely nuanced far outside his single trait of being horny.

I will say that Sanji can be creepy but I don't get the vibe from him about being an active creep specifically towards teenage girls. Especially since he seems to prefer more mature women like Robin, Kiku, Viola or frightening women like Nami.

As for me taking things personally and getting physically ill. That's just me being stupid and having severe rejection sensitivity when it comes to Sanji. I wish it'd go away.

I think it all boils down to Oda having sus choices in character ages... It would have changed literally nothing if he had just made Pudding 18.

[avathestarwarrior]

Hey there Ava, I wanted to say something in regards to those posts you recently made about your characters and art as a whole. Apologies in advance for the essay ahead, I had a lot to say and I really feel passionate about this because, hey, I've been there and I don't want to see you discouraged over this. First I want you to know that you aren't alone- when I was your age and still learning the ropes of art I felt exactly the same. All my friends around me what felt like suddenly jumped in their skills and only perfected their characters (design and story/personality-wise) while I sat stagnated in both. My characters were one-dimensional and I had little to no understanding of the major principles of art. And without a doubt, it is discouraging because they're being noticed for it and I hadn't made any ground in improvement at the time. This is a horribly common feeling especially for those without any access to formal training/teaching and beginners alike. Most of my friends lived in places where they could easily gain professional guidance and tools (usually through college, many countries allow you to jump to college while still in mid-teen years onwards), while I remember having to teach myself everything and struggling to learn even the most basic digital programs. Neither my high school or college (that I went to art classes specifically for, even the introductory ones) ever went in-depth when teaching the basics, and so generally I never had that strong foundation all my friends built onto. It's painful, but it's going to be okay because there are ways to help this. Now real quick, I'm going to go ahead and address what you were saying about your characters and art. Being completely honest, you were one of the first people I followed when joining this site, and I've really enjoyed seeing your work. While you may think that others would ignore your work over currently higher-skilled artists, I need you to know that there is a certain joy in watching someone find their way in a skill and grow within it. Drawing and designing characters (and yes, even writing them regarding their backstories/personalities) is a skill. For some, naturally they jump off and fly right away, with little to no friction. But for others? There may need to be a little more guidance and work. Some people also learn more slowly than others, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. You do not "suck" at these things. You just may need more supplementary sources to help guide your growth is all. That leads me into my next point;

When I said that you aren't alone in this, I don't just mean "I've been there". I also mean, there's an insane amount of free sources that are online you can use to push yourself forward. Pinterest has a lot of good references ranging from 'how to draw this' to 'something I can use for inspiration' and you can easily amass a huge collection for just about any of your drawing needs. Also YouTube! I stagnated in my art and designs for years, but when I started actively seeking out tutorials my skills slowly-- very slowly-- grew and I was able to not only learn new things but also build off of them from there on. Some of my favorite tutorial/art/design tips channels are: -Marc Brunet (short and sweet, easily digestible tutorials on drawing from a professional game artist turned art teacher. Just about anything drawing related is on his channel). -Brookes Eggleston - Character Design Forge (a channel specifically for improving character design (and a few tips on personality qualities as well) and some of the principles you can use to apply when designing). Both of these channels also have tips for the whole mental aspect of these things, which is very encouraging and helps when trying to get out of a mindset that may be hindering you and your progress, including artblock and feelings of inadequacy. I apologize again for the long ask, but I really hope this helps you in some way! Know that you're not in this journey alone and that with some time and a little bit of guidance, you will improve-- which I want to also say that it's much easier for others to see than for you to. At the end of the day, try to be a little more compassionate towards yourself, because it can only get better and I know you're doing your best. The fact that you're posting your art and characters online like this is already inspiring enough to many who are afraid to even start, and I genuinely mean that from experience. As scary as it is, maybe ask some of your friends or artists in general that you look up to for tips, most people are happy to provide insight on their work when asked politely- and definitely seek out some resources for yourself as well, those that I mentioned are without a doubt a good start. I wish you all the best of luck, and please take care! <3

Thank you there friend for this long ask. After reading this, I think I forgot something important! I already know these things and I have't tried it out recently! Thank you so much for reminding me and everyone who might come across this that we are indeed not alone. I am truly touched and I'll make sure to never underestimate myself again! Sadly I don't know exactly who you are (Although I assume you were like the first one to like the rant post I just made) but thank you again. And I hope that maybe you can like DM me? Anyways, thank you so much!

[complhexspace]

It’s my birthday and….

I can’t believe that I finally made a mood board for what I wanted out of 2023, but here it is and I’m gonna go ahead and walk you guys through it.

Every year I do use a notebook or try to plan out what I want out of that year. and include bite sized actions and to execute that plan. But this year, I really wanted to include a visual aspect to really give myself the idea of what I wanted out of this year.

I really want to make sure that I prioritize practicing mixing music this year. I realize that this is something one that I’ve always wanted to do to that. I’m kind of a natural that and I really want to explore this and see how far that I can take it.

And in doing this, I really wanna make sure that I push through my comfort zone and push through things that I find terrifying like public speaking, like putting myself out there and really give myself a good college try I’m doing something that I’ve always wanted to do.

I truly believe if I stop talking so much shit to myself that I would accomplish so much. If I stop telling myself that no one would care or I wouldn’t do this right or if I stop myself from over planning and just use the tools that I already have, that I honestly would be able to do whatever I want to do in life. It’s just I have to really truly believe in myself, and give myself that chance.

I’ve always been heavily focus on my creativity in my life, but in the past 2 to 3 years its magnified and I really want to keep that going. I think it’s so important as an artist in a creator to figure out my art style, my people, and what drives me as a Creator.

I’ve always known that creating music, art, film has always been my passion. It’s just I’ve never known how to grab it and go after it. And I’m not gonna lie to anyone and say that I do now, but I'm still going to actively go after it. 

I want to see how far my creativity and my passion for all things right now creative can take me. I want to golf myself into my creative passions, and become one with my creative visions.

Also want to make a few things possible that I’ve always wanted out of life that I’ve always always fell out of reach like having a body that I’ve always wanted. I know that sounds enormously superficial, but that’s probably the superficial part of me. Because of the way that I was brought up (the way that my trauma has wired my brain). Also, simply, because in this current moment, I am realistically unhealthy. I don’t believe that just because you are a fat person that you were unhealthy, but in my case I am. I want to feel good in my skin. I want to feel good in the way that I carry and present myself whether or not people perceive how I look as good or not as long as I feel good about myself.

I really want to do my best and make some obtainable significant change this year, even some changes that aren't on this board and that I haven't continuously talked about on here) without holding myself to high standards that end up burning me out or freaking me out in the end. Im just so tired of talking about what I want out of life. 

[breesays]

c'est comme ça / admit

I hate to admit getting better is boring

But the high cost of chaos, who can afford it?

A few months ago came upon an ace blog on Tumblr, an entry that said the person didn't want to read anymore about the "ace experience" because they were living it, and spent a lot of time assuming everyone was just like them. I, on the other hand, would love to and am actively searching out more ace experiences to read and hear about. You know what I am NOT curious about? The allo experience. That was one of my biggest problems during the very brief stint we had with a sex therapist. She was pushing "non judgemental curiosity" on my part. Por que? The allo experience, in all it's many forms and narratives, has been effectively shoved down my figurative (um and maybe literal) throat since I was a teen. From having to (over)hear hormonal peers pine pine pine to sex scenes in books ("he entered her" VOM) and movies (I'm in love with TWs) and like every TV show ever UGH, I have truly had enough. While everyone is shipping fictional characters my suspense is that I hope it WILL NOT hit that physical tipping point. Watching Wednesday I definitely felt her ambivalence about her admirers/supposed love interests. Or her being strategic about hanging out with them. I know I'm projecting, but it's so draining to have someone you're fond of look at you and also search you for MORE. I filled teenage journals to the brim with that theme.

What a thing to admit / That when someone looks at me with real love / I don't like it very much / Kinda makes me feel like I'm being crushed

I was thrilled that in the Marvel movie Shang Chi that the main characters relationship with Awkwafina's character remained platonic. THAT is what I want to see more of, hear more of.  I just finished Claire Kann's "If It Makes You Happy" and while it was not a page-turner or the kind of book that had brilliantly crafted sentences that stunned you into awed silence, it had SO many things other books did not.

A fat main character who did not care to lose weight, or have self esteem issues

A QPR - not without it's issues, but still

Polyamory - a soon-to-be college student who didn't necessarily identify as such but who knew she could be in a relationship with more than one person

That said, it wasn't easy to get into. Winnie is not a super likeable character (but also she wouldn't care that I said that) and it takes awhile for you to get the gist of allllll the relationships she has - family and friends. But this work of fiction is important for the sheer amount of representation that is not so easily stumbled upon. I can't even fully express how much that means to me, but when I get around to articulating it, I will write my own book. Thank you, Claire Kann.

Just realized that was a book review, so all that is on my GoodReads and I only write like 3 reviews a year. Why? The same reason I don't write music reviews - it's personal. What it means to me has everything to do with what I need, who I am at any given moment. It's a prescription. Doled out in strings and timbre and lyrics.

Realizing so much of my love has been platonic and somehow that was offensive. Two of them asked, "You think I'm cute, like a puppy?" (Yes?)

Thinking about dividing up my blogs - keeping breesays for the daily (ok, monthly?) life stuff, toddler life moment recording and then putting all my ace experiences on a different domain. It all intersects, sure, but there's potentially some darker themes in the ace stuff, and I don't know who wants to go there. breesays - love and light and parenting and recommendations and culture. littlespooncrimes - "People talk to me, and all their faces blur / But I got my fingers laced together and I made a little prison / And I'm locking up everyone that ever laid a finger on me" knife emoji x3

At this juncture in my life I am NOT doing a lot of exploring of that aspect of my identity. I did pre-order all the ace books. I'm listening to a lot of science podcasts on longevity, working on my meditation practice - kind of grounding myself before I go back into excavate some of this stuff. Some of it is humorous in retrospect, some of it physically pains me. I want to be able to rip open old wounds, sure, but I also want to make sure I can recover. I'm not asking for Wolverine-level regeneration, just being able to breathe through a memory and go on living life as opposed to needing 3 hours to be catatonic. See also: cold showers.

Can I recommend another book for you? Elissa Bassist's "Hysterical" - now THAT one had some sections that stunned me into silence. Also rage. And tears. But I read it on GOOGLE PLAY BOOKS so none of my goddamn notes were saved.

Sometimes I get caught up in wondering what kind of havoc I wreaked on ex-whatevers. What is it like to encounter an ace in the wild, when she doesn't know what she is? When she's faking it (but not well) and taking secret shots in your kitchen? When she would love nothing more than to be little spoon but if that was a breadcrumb to sex let's just off ourselves right now. Die inside, by suicide. No blue moons. Crush the stars they can't align.

They're OK. The rest of the world was designed with them in mind.

[tangledbea]

I was more active in the fandom around late 2020-2021. It was almost like my support system during the pandemic. But then I drifted away from it. I didn’t stop liking tangled but I just didn’t watch it or listen to any songs anymore even from the series. I started coming on here less often and eventually started to completely move away and I thought that that phase was over now.

But right now, right before I’m sending you this, I was really reaaallly low. I think the lowest I’ve been in a very long time mentally. My mind was going to places i didn’t want it to and overall it’s been a tough few months and a tougher week. And I didn’t want to feel crappy so I started looking back. What parts of my life were happy? How did I keep my mind healthy? And as I looked back I remembered tangled, rapunzel. I know she’s just a character, but her spirit, the way she used to deal with life. The way she used to respond to life being good, or pushing her down too. It all inspired me back then. So sooo much. I wanted to be like her, she made me want to be a better person and I actively worked towards improving myself in so many ways only because of her.

I remembered that and so I went back to my Pinterest board and just surfed through those random screen caps and it just immediately lifted me up. Not in a “it made me happy” kind of way, I mean that it actually gave me hope. Just remembering rapunzel.

And I realised again that tangled is so much more than my favourite movie and rapunzel is so much more than a character I love. She kept me sane through the pandemic and she saved me from getting lost any further. Thinking about her right now brought me out of that chaotic mind of mine.

I didn’t mean for it to get this long or sound this melodramatic but these are my genuine feelings. I just got overwhelmed and blown away but not so shocked at the same time? Just shocked at myself that I forgot I could just t turn to tangled for a while and it might make things clearer and pull me out of whatever ditch I’ve dug myself into

Rapunzel has been a giant inspiration and motivation to me for the past almost 12 years, as well. And while I don't love every aspect of her portrayal in the series, her strength, determination, curiosity, and genuine heart have helped me a lot as well.

I'm glad you're feeling better, though, and I'm glad she and Tangled were and are able to help you get through low times, and I wish you the best of mental health moving forward. 💕

[katebvsh]

What do you do when you feel like cold spiritually, I mean, when you feel a little bit like numb and unable to feel strong emotions, what you will recommend to re-cover the flame, the passion, the interest, the will in things? I feel not depressed but I feel definitely very cold since like a few months and i think is because life push me finally into the circumstances that let me break definitely a like 8 years of limerenece attachment. Now I feel very liberated from many many forms of pain and angst that had been haunting me all this years, but without them I feel like my will and passion had gone too. I don't know. I ask you because I had asked u before about things related with limerence, but if you think is too personal or complicated to give and alive I totally understand. I just can't talk about this kind of mental feeling with anyone in my rl. Have a good day, and as always sorry my english.

Hello anon! Thanks for taking the time to write to me 💕

I’m going to give you a short “general” answer for this. I tried writing down my own personal experiences and it quickly turned into a small novella. If you’re interested in that send me another anon and I’ll include it separately. Or send me a message off anon.

As always, I am not a therapist or psychiatrist so this cannot be taken as a replacement for professional assistance.

1. Make sure you have starved any source of limerent reinforcement. None of this will work if you don’t. Also be careful as you might get reinforcement through indirect means (ex supernatural or magical thinking which can encourage obsessive tendencies). You need to practice self awareness…catch yourself thinking about LO, accept and recognize that you are thinking about LO, forgive yourself and redirect yourself into a more positive activity. You can’t have passion for anything if a tiny part of you is still keeping the door ajar for LO to waltz in.

2. Try to ground yourself in physical reality in healthy ways ex exercise, hobbies, crafts ect. Derive meaning in your life through multiple aspects (eg family, work, friends, hobbies) Have both healthy long term and short term goals. You need to do this even if it feels mechanical and forced at first.

3. Work on your self esteem, focus on you and try to work on understanding what happened, why it happened and the role you actively played in it. Then think of where you have turned things around to your benefit, how you are changing and becoming a better version of yourself.

4. Have reasonable expectations for yourself. Recovery is going to take time, months most definitely, potentially even years. You are in a psychologically vulnerable state rn because you’ve essentially given up the true source of meaning in your life for the past 8 years. Limerence forces you to push yourself and your identity aside (and by extension family, friends and anything that made you truly happy) for the sake of maintaining a singular obsession. You’ll have to slowly rebuild yourself over time while incorporating the limerent period into your life narrative in a realistic but also forgiving way.

The numb feeling is pretty much because you are emotionally drained. It will slowly pass. Essentially force yourself into activities that are positive, even if you feel like a robot or soulless animal while doing them. In the meantime you need to slowly confront the reality of what happened and the role you played in it. How did I get here? Where did I learn to chase love? It has to be processed emotionally AND rationally. If you don’t confront the emotions or the reality of the situation you’ll be stuck. Also try to reach out to friends and family. You need to find ways to accept meaningful love to replace something imaginary.

Let me know if you want the more personal version. I can describe certain thought patterns I remember going though my head. The emotions you will need to confront and resolve include shame, guilt, resentment towards LO and eventually regret that will make you want to reconnect. Acknowledge the emotion when it eventually does surface, understand and accept it with love. Do not identify with and see yourself through these feelings. They are states of mind that are ultimately temporary

In terms of content I would suggest crappy childhood fairy’s videos. They can have some very good advice. I have also attached some articles.

I wish you the best and thank you for reaching out to me 💕

[touristattractionstovisit]

Alpather Lake Trek – The Path Less Explored

We stood there on the frozen ground in awe, not able to believe the scene in front of us. Gigantic mountains blanketed in snow encircled the snowscape with a frozen lake lying in the valley below. The snow on the ground glistened like little jewels under the luminous sun. Not a single sound except the whooshing wind and no soul in sight other than the two of us and our guide. It felt as if heaven had manifested itself in front of us. This is how Alpather Lake or the Frozen Lake greeted us for the very 1st time at the onset of Winter.

Bewitched by its beauty, we decided to return again last Summer.  And it presented itself in a different yet equally magnificent form. Partially thawed, its emerald water complemented the white snow. And the path leading to the lake was dotted with wild flowers and little shrubs of different colours. 

Read on to know everything about this trek from Gulmarg. As we have visited in both seasons, you will find all aspects of this trek for both Summer and Winter. 

About Alpather Lake

Alpather Lake is a small yet scenic alpine lake lying at the foothills of the twin Apharawat Peaks. The lake is situated at an altitude of 14400 feet and stays frozen for more than half the year. That is why it is more popularly known as the Frozen Lake among locals. While the frozen lake in Winter presents an ethereal snow-covered view, Summers brings out the enchanting emerald Lake into life with the otherwise stark landscape flecked with wild flowers.

The lake can only be reached by trek from Gulmarg. As it is an offbeat place and is visited by very few people, the serenity it offers is unparalleled. But it is not just the charm of the lake, but the journey that makes it the experience of a lifetime.

Is Alpather Lake trek difficult?

Trek to Alpather Lake may not be very difficult, but it is not easy too. I would rank it as MODERATEwhich needs a bit of physical fitness. Most part of the trek route is steep and is strewn with boulders. 

Especially in Winter, it is easy to get out of breath every few steps while climbing the steep uphill path.  Having said that, we do not hike regularly and this was our 1st trek in the mountains, that too in Winter. Yet we could manage it with the help of our guide. In Summer the trek felt relatively easier.

Know before you take a guide

You can take a guide from Gulmarg itself or find one at the Phase 2 Gondola station.

Guides charge very high for this trek, around INR 2500 or even more (official charge is INR 1300). You need to bargain, but it does not come down a lot. This time a guy quoted INR 4000 for the trek from Phase 2 station and we finally agreed for INR 2000 including the tip.  

If you take the guide from Gulmarg, they tend to push for the activities at Gondola Phase 1 and Phase 2 due to their commission. Unless it is peak winter when the sledge or skiing path is already smoothened, avoid the activities. As part of our Winter visit (during December 1st week), there was not enough snow both in Phase 1 and 2. So the Skiing as well as Sledge ride were absolutely scary and uncomfortable. Sush even hurt his back during the sledge ride.

Guide Details

We had two different guides in Winter and Summer. They both were apt and helped us all through the trek. But given to choose, I would recommend the person who accompanied us in Summer. He is from one of the mountain villages and is a very humble person. What we liked more about him was he was not too greedy and did not bother us for more money after the trek was over which normally others do.  Here is his contact detail. Read the full article Here….

[isabellasdigitalcommunities]

WE <3 SLOW FASHION

The fashion industry is one of the most harmful impacts on our environment from child labour, cheap exports and viscous trend cycles. These issues can be connected to the high demand of new designs from consumers that more and more collections are released each year. Around 20 years ago, the fashion industry would only turn out two collections a year, for autumn/winter and summer/spring, but now to keep up with the ever changing trends, release 50-100 mini collections per year (Domingos, Vale &Faria 2022). 

In contrast to the harmful impacts of fast fashion, slow fashion has been introduced to mitigate some of these harmful processes. The slow fashion movement represents the need to invest in more durable products and timeless designs in order to transform the values of the fashion industry and adopt more sustainable methods. The movement pushes companies to adopt a business model that prioritises quality over quantity and based on slower manufacturing, ethical attitudes and durable well-made products (Domingos, Vale & Faria 2022). By providing workers with safe and just working conditions, including fair wages, manufacturers can also improve economic aspects of the process (Zhen et al. 2017, p. 83).

The slow fashion movement relates to digital citizenship, with the idea of respecting each other in online spaces and acting responsibility relates to the movement's respect for sweat shop workers and the concept of sustainability. There are a number of influencers that rave about sustainable fashion and educate viewers about things such as finding local brands and how to get involved in fashion and environmental activism. Venetia Le Manna is a "former fast fashion addict turned fair fashion campaigner" who uses her digital platform to call out big companies for over-production and exploitation of their workers. Being a good corporate citizen can be achieved by committing to sustainable fashion, but it can also be extended to being a good digital citizen by acting responsibly online when deciding where your next clothing purchase will be. Once upon a time you were only able to buy second hand clothing if you scoured all your local op shops for hours but nowadays, apps like Depop and Poshmark are available to almost everyone. Facebook Marketplace and Instagram reselling pages are also accessible for branded garments.

I personally buy almost all of my clothes second hand because I love a good bargain. Brands like Princess Polly or Cotton On have ridiculous prices for their basics that I can find at the op shop for half the price. I also don't really like searching through racks of clothing at the op shop because it can get overwhelming so I frequent a women's clothing market in Williamstown that's held every few months. I love that it has a wide range of sellers with different senses of style so I can find a lot of unique pieces for really good prices. Also buying a second hand item holds some sentimental value because I know it's from years or seasons ago, I'll never be able to find it again. I will keep some garments for literally forever if I can. I've had the same Supre black singlet I bought off of a Facebook group for 5+ years and it has not a single hole! And because my favourite clothing market is every few months it’s the only time I'll buy new clothes but sometimes I won't buy anything because nothing catches my eye. However, the last market I went to I found a brand new North Face jacket for $30! The seller just wanted to get rid of it because her daughter didn't want it even after they brought it home from overseas. Similarly, a lot of second hand sellers at markets or on Facebook just want to get rid of clothes that take up space, like the saying "one man's trash is another man's treasure". 

References 

Domingos, M, Teixeira Vale, V & Faria, S 2022, 'Slow fashion consumer behaviour: a literature review', Sustainability, vol. 14, no. 5 

Zhen, L, Henninger, C.E & Alevizou, P.J 2017, 'An Explanation of Consumers' Perceptions Towards Sustainable Fashion - A Qualitative Study in the UK', Sustainability in Fashion A Cradle to Upcycle Approach, Palgrave

[dailytelegraphnewstodaysblog]

Temporary Sports Training Points

There is a season to get everything in everyday life, and that holds particularly so for sports. At present it is football time of year. Basketball is getting into and we find out Baseball all but finished. So , how if you ever look at your real conditioning coming into, in the course of and coming out of all the sports season? https://www.europeannewstoday.com

Every last sport is different thus won't get into points. The goal is usually to give you a few guidelines to use during your workouts programs. The following tips should help you establish proper mindset for virtually every sport you like when you move in and from its season.

Pre season prep time frame

Leading into a athletic season should be seen as an preparation or warm-up time. Just as you should do before every performance you need to prepare your entire body for the activity. It is a time when you need to bear in mind your sport and provide thought to the aspects of your body used within the sport.

Think about the best way your body moves on the activities of the sport activity. Whether it is football, sports, basket ball or simply Olympic badminton competitors (if you did not know, yes badminton is an Olympic sport), each sport offers specific ways this uses your body which makes it unique. This novel idea is where you'll want to maintain focus as part of your pre season exercise sessions. Find ways to activity your muscle groups that could strengthen and establish endurance in them with these specific running movements.

Why undertake we focus on such areas? Simply to enable eliminate injuries at the time of season. If you ailment your body to handle the suitable movements involved in a sport, then all through season - at the time you put all your endeavor into your sports activity - you will be more unlikely to get hurt. Actually doing this will even limit the amount of sourness you feel during the season medical.

In season highest development

So , right now you're all started and ready to participate in - uh, certainly, you think so. Due to the fact you took made the effort to do some pre season warm up (by the way, good job) doesn't mean that you are at the top of your sport. If you want to make sure you have your peak for ones season you need to certainly push yourself to the most notable.

Professional athletes, and the who strive to as the best, don't only just leave there online game to preseason loosen up and practice; these people know that intense exercising regimens year-round will take their physical physical fitness to its summit level. It is this particular conditioning that makes their particular game that much a lot better than the rest.

Here are some spaces that you should focus on while having Sport season.

Rotational Exercise - Ensure that you are exercising your entire body not just this areas your recreation uses. Many activities have repetitive routines that only physical exercise your body in one area, for instance swinging a good bat. Make sure you tend to be doing other exercise routines that allow you to state your body through a full range of routines.

Your core -- Make sure you are consistently developing your major; this area may help stabilize you in much of your body's actions. Your midsection : Rectus abdominis, Rectus abdominis, Transversus abdominis, Erector spinae -- as you can see, has got four distinct muscles that need your concentrate. Plan to exercise your midsection of your shape in every workout.

Loads - continue to work with weights in your workouts but maybe constrain to 1 repetition associated with 15 to failing. During peak year or so, weights might need to get limited, but out of season, they are essential for muscle enhancement. This will ensure you aren't over fatiguing your own self during your sport's months; unless, of course, a person's sport requires far more intense weight training.

Cardiovascular exercise conditioning - Not in the cardiovascular exercise you get through the sport, you should also make three days in one week to this area. A person's heart and lung area provide the necessary o2 and nutrition for the muscles of your physical structure. If your cardiovascular system can be operating at the country's peak you will have a much better chance of performing at the peak in your activity season.

Off period cool down

Well, a games are around - No more level of competition to keep you inspired. So what do you can to cool down through your Sport season? A off season from any sport is highly recommended the phase where you stand recovering, both psychologically and psychologically. Quite a few athletes use this period to evaluate their time of year and make a willpower on where they're able to focus for change for the better in their next year or so.

One way to look at the from season is to visualize it as a transitional interval; a 4 to 6 weeks time period between your sporting activities season and the preseason. It should include cardio exercise training (never supply this one up) so that you can maintain your aerobic conditioning; keep it brightness and enjoyable. Inside additions include strength training that focuses on stabilization and correcting any kind of imbalances due to repeating motion. Finally, include flexibility exercise. You need to include plenty of stretch. This will remove tips stiffness associated with cardiovascular season.

Wrap all this up

As you can observe there is no wrap up designed for exercise; it's a element of every season. Right now you may be wondering, "How do I maintain concentration and keep a motivation going in the course of every season". Certainly, it's easy! The ultimate way to make sure you are stimulated is to engage a trainer for all your physical activities seasons.