#like the art has improved a lot but I feel like the writing used to be better
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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Listen back when I was like 12 I was OBSESSED with Tower of God on Webtoon and I followed it closely for a few years but then I got so confused and bored during the arc with the like dog people (to many fight scenes and also everyone can fly now???) that I stopped reading HOWEVER I am still ultimate Khun/Bam trash and whenever I think of them I get wistful and I want to reread but I can never get past the confusion. Idk if I should keep going since I know there’s lots out since I stopped reading. The thing is if it’s still just gonna be like fight scenes with very little substance (+ 10 million characters introduced in every arc just to disappear) I feel like I’m gonna have to stop reading again and I don’t wanna reinvest myself….what to do…the nostalgia is calling to me…
#THE BEGINNING WAS SO GOOD#like the art has improved a lot but I feel like the writing used to be better#it felt so epic and magical#where I left off it felt more like a fighting game in storymode#plus it didn’t make sense why everyone could suddenly float#and the POWERCREEP was so annoying#like everyone is a god now so where’s the stakes#BUT MAYBE IT GETS BETTER#maybe I need to keep reading#I need to know what happens to my boy Bam#and what his backstory is#tower of god#tog#tower of god webtoon#webtoon#webcomics#tog Webtoon#bam Webtoon#bam tog#the 25th bam#khun#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#bam/khun
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Okay but like I really need to rant about this a bit so like spoilers for ep 3 of tlou below but like
idk I’ve never played the game so I had no idea what to expect going into this, but when Frank showed up, I was like “I can’t tell if Bill is going to kill him or marry him.” WELL. Nick Offerman did such a GOOD job of looking on guard and uncomfortable. His shoulders are like up to his ears the entire meeting sequence and it made me so jumpy, and then we skip 3 years and he’s so visibly relaxed. And my heart started to melt. And I found myself so enamored with these two men who, against all odds, found love in a situation where that should have been impossible. Frank was the last alive from a group fleeing a collapsed quarantine zone, Bill a preper who had decided to be alone long before the pandemic even started. We expect Bill to die the whole time--comments about him getting old faster than Frank, getting shot by raiders. The jump to Frank being sick...they showed so much through his paintings. You weren’t expecting it, and they showed you through his art how his illness has been progressing, and how him being able to see that himself affected him. They showed how Bill broke down and made a deal with Joel to get medicine despite saying he never would. This show. THIS SHOW. I was sobbing up until Bill became weirdly calm during the dinner, because I realized he’d made the decision too. They died on their own terms in a world where that had become nearly impossible. They had a beautiful life together in a world where that had become a pipe dream. Two characters that we never even meet thru the main characters, not in the present day, but who matter so much.
#also i have a lot of feelings as a chronically ill artist about everything with Frank (not bad ones! just like i feel a lot 🥲)#it hit close to home#honestly bill resonated with me too but not bc of the preper conspiracy theorist part lol#more bc of the self-imposed solitude and not seeking out relationships#i know from other posts that this is nothing like how they were in the game but this seems like such an improvement tbh#like this episode deserves awards for how much it hit me in the feels#tlou hbo spoilers#the last of us spoilers#it's 5 am so like i am not coherent but i also cannot sleep#idk how we got my horror-hating mom hooked on this show and now we're making her sob over gay romance like#that right there tells you this show is good lol#i feel like i could write an entire book on how illness can impact art and handwriting#my handwriting became that of an entirely different person when i started to get sick#my drawings changed too#tho maybe not in a way anyone but me noticed#my friend who has a similar health issue just with more presentation had to give up art almost entirely#idk it's a kind of hard i can't explain and that i dont think you can understand unless you've experienced it yourself#seeing the progression of your symptoms in the things you create#seeing how you're unable to hide it even with care#idk man#it's honestly an emotion i dont think i could name#but i feel it so strongly every time i look at more than a few lines i've written by hand#or at a page of studies ive drawn#i feel like they never made frank a tragic character. they never made illness tragic#they just made it real#the tragic theme was the idea of one without the other and it went both ways#they hit on that repeatedly throughout the ep#and in the end they didn’t have to face that tragedy#idk i feel like it’s one of the few depictions of chronic illness/terminal illness ive seen that doesn’t play the illness as tragedy#and i found that…refreshing
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Join a Country Club Mod
Hello! Unfortunately, Rock Ridge Country Club has closed down due to financial mismanagement and embezzlement. However, your sims now can join an even better club: Cedar Creek Country Club!
I’m excited to announce that I’ve completely reworked the Country Club mod from scratch. This mod holds a special place in my heart as it was the first one I ever made, and I’m thrilled to present it with improved quality and new features.
If you’ve used my previous Country Club mod, you’ll notice both differences and similarities. So, how does the new mod work? Your sim can apply to become a member of Cedar Creek Country Club. This time, the process is more challenging, with the possibility of rejection, requiring more effort both financially and mentally.
However, the application process is streamlined for a smoother experience. Steps to become a member:
Pay Application Fee: This is a 5000 simoleon nonrefundable fee.
Fill out Application Form
Schedule Interview: Choose between two time slots and attend within 24 hours.
Write Letter of Interest
Submit Reference Letters: Cedar Creek requires two reference letters from current members. Your sim can ask a member directly or post on the Cedar Creek community forums. If a member is interested, they may call and offer to write a reference letter. This method is more challenging.
Attend Information Session (Optional): If you have questions about the club or application process, attend an information session available on weekdays.
• Household Funds
• Fame Level
• Reputation
• Job Type and Level
• Charisma
• Interview Outcome
These elements can greatly increase your chances of getting accepted into the country club.
Once they become a member and pay the $10,000 initiation fee, your entire household will also gain Cedar Creek membership.
As a Cedar Creek member, there are ongoing fees to pay. You can choose to pay annually (over four weeks) or quarterly (over one week). It’s important to stay on top of these payments to maintain your membership. There are many activities your sim can partake in with family and friends. You can find these options on the computer in the Country Club pie menu.
Your sim can try to appeal to the country club if they have been rejected, kicked out, or blacklisted. The chances of getting another shot are very low, but high charisma can significantly help.
If they get lucky and are invited to meet with the admissions committee, they have a few hours to attend the meeting and must commit immediately. If they were previously kicked out, they will still need to pay the initiation fee again.
Lot Trait
I have also added a Country Club lot trait with the mod. So as a Cedar Creek member if you don't feel like going to rabbit hole activities you use the country club lot trait and use it on any lot.
I wanted the Country Club lot trait to be customizable, so random members won’t show up automatically; you need to assign members to make it exclusive.
You can assign members by left-shift clicking on the computer and finding the option under the country club pie menu. There are a few social interactions available for different sims at the country club, depending on their roles.
The lot trait is straightforward, but the key is to assign members. You can also remove members using the same method.
Does this mod require any DLC?
No, it does not.
What else do I need for the mod?
Lumpinou's Mood Pack Mod, so it is required for the mod to work properly.
You can get the mod here.
If you already have it great! But make sure it's up to date. Otherwise, it will break the UI
XML injector
I'm experiencing some weird bugs!
Let me know, please.
Report it here: Mod Bug Report
How to install the mod?
Electronic Arts/The Sims 4/Mods <--- Unzip the file and make sure it's placed in this path.
Public Jun 23
Download Here
#the sims 4 cc#ts4cc#the sims 4#ts4 mods#ts4#the sims 4 mods#ts4 cc#the sims#simblr#sims 4 edit#the sims cc#ts4 download#ts4 mod#sims 4 mods#thesims4#ts4countryclub#ts4oldmoney#ts4 royalty
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the yellowjackets with a younger s/o...
hey, I'm back! it didn't take me long, right? it must be because I have too many things to write on this blog, finally (and I have relatively enough time to organize my ideas for now). so I thought, I made a headcannon of the young yellowjackets, but I might as well make the adult survivors, right? anyway, maybe this is also a sign to say that I will "moderately" write stories with the adult versions, too. who cheered? anyway, without further ado, let's go! thanks for the likes on the first post, I'm glad you liked it! enjoy! sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!
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dating a younger person with the yellowjackets women...
shauna shipman.
okay, it's canonical that shauna would have no problem being in a relationship with someone younger.
I mean, even after adam, I think she would be willing to try.
it would be a lot easier in her mind, because dating someone younger means being able to reconnect with callie more easily too.
in shauna's mind, the two of you would be best friends based on your approximate age, regardless of how old you were.
now in terms of dating shauna, i think she would inevitably be an easy going person, to a certain extent.
overprotective as hell, of course, because she's lost so many people she loves over time (and it's become an incurable trauma in her life), that she can't bear to lose you.
she would also cook for you (rabbit meat inserted) all the time, especially if you felt like eating something special.
oh yes, the weekends would have to include callie with you, which is actually not a problem. at least not for you.
I feel like shauna hasn't been, since she was a teenager, someone who would be involved in loud parties or anything like that, so probably the perfect date for her would be watching a movie at home, wrapped in blankets with you, popcorn and soda and a solitude considerable enough for you to kiss, exchange affection and even make out (or have sex) without anyone to get in the way.
natalie scatorccio.
natalie, like shauna, would also have no problem dating someone younger.
since her life has always been full of risks and she was never very afraid of taking most of them, I honestly think that age never made much of a difference to her, at least not after middle age.
but to be honest, dating natalie comes with a combo of even bigger problems and risks that you wouldn't be able to deal with if you didn't love her so much.
I see natalie completely using her s/o as an outlet, or a shield. after rehab, you would be like a kind of warning for her to control herself.
not that it wouldn't also include (if you're a smoker) the two of you smoking in your spare time when you're bored.
natalie would be the kind of girlfriend you could have any conversation in the world with, sober or not. she probably has and gained enough empathy to listen to you and give you accurate advice on how to live your life.
making out a lot and having sex in unusual places also counts.
in my head, despite everything, natalie is the master of serving affection. spooning with her is the best whenever you need it.
she would do anything for you. everything really. anything.
she would be able to get into a fight for you. and risking her own life as well.
lottie matthews.
number one defender of the thesis: "age is just a number".
lottie is literally the personification of quality time and acts of service.
much because of her lonely life, her traumatic and confusing teenage years and the relationships she maintained with people over time, lottie would probably never want you to lack for anything, so any opportunity she has to be with you, she will be, even on her worst days.
arts and crafts dates with her when she is not taking care of camp green pine. you spend hours enjoying each other's company, and the whole world falls silent.
extremely overprotective of you too. just the thought of losing you because of her own insecurities leaves lottie haunted for weeks if she stops to think about it.
she is the ideal companion for anxiety and panic attacks.
she will most likely use the techniques she learned over time with you. if they work, that's another matter. (they always work because in the end it was never about lottie's gift, it was about her company).
a little submissive, a little dominant during sex. lottie is probably the typical "am I hurting you?" at the right time and even if you insist no, she will ask again just to be sure.
she's also the master spooner (I literally see you two fighting over who's going to be the big spoon every night).
taissa turner.
ok, public life has always been a problem for taissa.
but when she's with you, she's able to forget about it for a few minutes.
despite all this freedom, taissa never lets you go out unaccompanied (without a bodyguard) or lets you read the headlines or see the commercials about her first, for fear of any criticism about your age difference.
but more than anything, it's you she turns to when the stress finally gets to her on the worst days.
I see her making any effort for you, and I see her trying to keep a fine line between you and her old life too.
this includes your relationship with sammy, which, in fact, has always been the best possible, and her friendly relationship with simone as well. taissa knows that she cannot take her son out of her ex-wife's life and, even so, she makes a point of including you in family programs with him.
she will literally spend it all on you. anything you ask for, even with a high amount of money, she will buy.
it's probably a way of apologizing about her sleepwalking and her traumas making her even remotely distant from you for some time.
like I said, you're the one she looks for when crises end up attacking her mental health. she won't sleep if you're not safe in bed with her and she makes a point of being snuggled in her arms so she doesn't have any sleepwalking attacks in the middle of the night.
dates with her are always in fancy places, but taissa doesn't care about them that much.
anniversaries, yes, she always takes you to dinner at a fancy restaurant.
but, on her days off, she would easily choose to just spend time with you watching a stupid series or a cliché movie while you sleep cuddling in the middle of it.
sex always, sex anywhere, sex on any occasion. you will never miss this, you can be sure.
van palmer.
this nerdy woman deserves the world and a significant other who doesn't know half of her references.
you two are a match made in heaven, for sure.
van wouldn't waste time trying to get you to watch all the movies that were popular in her time. and she would use your ability to tinker with technology for the video store whenever necessary.
this woman is literally the embodiment of girlfriend material.
quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, she has mastered every love language in existence, you bet.
van will always cook for you. there are rare nights when she lets you make dinner or even order any junk food.
she would also stop whatever she was doing so she could cuddle with you whenever you needed her.
dates with van are always at the cinema, or at an amusement park, or, when she is a little less in debt, at a tourist spot around the world that you would mention that you want to see.
she has good enough memory to remember them all.
the sex is always good, always affectionate, and every now and then, when she's not tired, you'd try a quickie in the bedroom for just a little while, until you feel satisfied.
hopeless romantic until the end of time.
misty quigley.
a walking red flag, misty would probably treat a relationship with someone younger as if it were a great adventure.
well, if you like crazy women, misty is your ideal partner.
she has a bit of a misconception about taking care of you and keeping you safe, so every now and then she'll make a point of checking your calendar and trying to monitor meetings with people in your circle, just to make sure there's no problem.
but this is also a good thing because, if there is a specific date or specific problem, she will remember it and make everyone special, in her own way.
anyway, but she's a good girlfriend too, aside from the weirdness. she has everything under control, she is attentive to you and makes a point of making your day better if it is bad.
dates with her don't need much. If it's in a cafe relaxing and talking about her day, if it's watching crime series or chatting with her about citizen detectives, she'll be happy.
sex is also good, to be honest. I see misty as the roleplay girl, so if she's in the mood to roleplay with you, you can be sure she'll do it. from weirdest to sexiest, it also depends on her day.
she achieved the feat of making a young person like a bird and want to have a bird at home. she is, at the moment, the only one of them to be able to do this masterfully.
#lgbt#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets#shauna shipman x reader#lottie matthews x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#van palmer x reader#taissa turner x reader#misty quigley x reader
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HOW DO YOU DRAW FACES??!?! seriously, everything about your art is pure eyecandy, I love it SO MUCH, but faces. YOUR FACES. the faces are perfect. they capture every detail. they feel so human. so expressive. i would love to know how you draw/structure your faces because it's the biggest thing i'd like to improve on with my art!
Art is a translation of how you perceive the world. Art is both extremely watered down and painfully vulnerable with emotions. The artist translates the world, and people translate the art. Lots of art gets lost in translation. My goal is to make people read my art regardless of my language. I want my art to speak louder than my simple cluttered words could.
How can you read a face with no words? You have to find your own way to do that, but here’s a very rough way of how I read people and attempt to translate their world into mine.
One practice is drawing straight from a reference. I've been watching TLOU, which has some of the best acting ever and is perfect for screenshotting specific moments to recreate. Pulling scenes from episode five, I stretch and amplify the facial features to properly read their emotions in my style, ex, making Ellie and Sam's eyes bigger to amplify their youth, smoothing out facial wrinkles for simplicity, and (my favorite) exaggerating the mouths so they emote louder.
Second method is feeling how your face moves. Ethan Becker on YouTube explains it better (go watch all his videos) of how to feel and observe how your face compresses and works with different features to properly express emotions. Using your own face as a stencil to understand how your muscle and jaw work is both simple, and always accessible for artist reference.
An example of how I break down bits of a chapter into chunks for each panel while still attempting for it to run smoothly like the writing. Honestly, a lot of this part rides on wanting to do the author justice for their fabulous work. You want to show them how much their work affected you and why it’s totally worth it to draw their stories.
Some examples of scenes from media (that almost made me cry) and how I translate and manipulate it into my style. This is why I redraw scenes from movies so often, not only is it fun and easy, but it’s a great way of studying the masters
But, to actually answer your question, I think the reason my drawings are so expressive to you is because I still follow somewhat typical human anatomy while still being cartoony enough to break the uncanny valley and create an aesthetically pleasing style. I’m still practicing and studying everyday to get better. You must work as much as possible to attempt to properly translate the world.
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。⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son
nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!
art creds: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/113712140
♡ next chapter ♡
ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ
›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing
‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.
‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen
‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent
‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, aged up characters, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity
‹𝟹 notes: this story is originally posted on ao3! this will have dark themes, if you do not like, DO NOT INTERACT! this is a multi chapter fic that is still in progress as of posting on tumblr (1/9/24). it will be updated as i write more :) i will add links to the next chapters as i post them on this thread or smthn (idk how to use tumblr lol)
!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!
! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !
Like Father, Like Son by milkpup
Chapter 1: Promises
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“When we get older, let’s get married!” you exclaimed to Megumi, who was sitting next to you on the park bench. “We know each other best, so if we find no one else by the time we go to college, let’s get together!”
You were both in middle school still. You’ve been extremely close friends since you were young children. Megumi and his father lived in the same neighborhood as you. As a natural result of your home life being chaotic and dysfunctional, you spent most of your childhood at Megumi’s.
You were still girly and feminine, but having a guy best friend meant that you had interests more like his. You both grew up playing games together, sitting in front of the tv into late hours into the night. You were a sore loser. He was always better at any games you two played, like mario kart, fighting games, whatever it was, he was better. This meant you constantly tried to improve your skills; you wanted the satisfaction of making him lose, but you also wanted him to be impressed.
You didn’t quite understand it at the time. Why did you want to impress Megumi? It’s just a game. You brushed it off. Friendly competition never hurt, right?
--
Years pass, the same old routine. You coming over to Megumi’s house after school, staying late or sometimes spending the night. His father, Toji, saw you as his own. A daughter he never had.
It was hard after Megumi’s mother passed. Toji was more reserved, more monotonous. It seemed like the vibrancy and color of his soul was dulled. His wife was the one person he truly cared for, who he loved, and who gave meaning to his life. Being a single father of a young boy was rough. He appreciated that you brought joy to his son’s life. He appreciated that, as you grew older, you would help around at his house. Cooking, cleaning, whatever it was, you would help lessen the load on Toji.
--
In the middle of your senior year of highschool, tragedy struck the community. Your parents were killed by a drunk driver. It all happened so fast. You feel selfish and would never admit this, but you were sort of relieved. You rarely spent time at home. Your father was an abusive drunk and would target you and your mother. Your mother tried to protect you the best she could. She wanted you to be safe. She was always relieved when you would text or call her saying you were staying at Megumi’s. She trusted that boy and knew he would never be like your father.
You were sad your mother was gone. But at least she now knew peace. A tragic end, yes, but better than watching her be abused by your father.
You started living with Megumi full time. It was already basically your home in the first place, just more official now. You appreciated Toji welcoming you into his home with open arms, letting you live there full time. He was more of a father than your sperm donor parent was.
In return, you cooked and cleaned almost exclusively. You didn’t necessarily mind. You didn’t see it as demeaning, but rather as a way to show your gratitude. Cooking was also a cathartic release for you; it allowed you to remove yourself from tough emotions and focus on the task on hand. And you absolutely loved when people would praise your cooking. Thus, you were constantly trying new recipes and techniques, chasing new flavors.
Toji appreciated you basically taking on the household responsibilities while he worked long hours. He has a provider mindset. He wants to fulfill his role of providing while a woman in his life would take care of the home and enrich his life.
A few times he caught himself being reminded of his wife whenever you would do something for him. Your cooking tasted like home. Your smile and laugh were intoxicating. You had a gentle and kind soul, willing to look past anything for the right person. He felt almost uncomfortable, as if he should not be having thoughts of his late wife when looking at his pseudo-daughter. But he couldn’t help it. He’s a simple man.
--
“Good morning, Toji!” You say while something is sizzling in the pan. “I hope you’re feeling something sweet this morning!”
Toji smiles lightly. “What are you making today, little miss chef?”
“French toast!” You turn around to face him, wearing a cute apron and holding the spatula in your hand.
Toji notices the cooking must’ve gotten a bit messy, there was flour on your apron and some powdered on your cheeks. He thought it was insanely adorable.
“I’m excited to try it. Your food never ceases to amaze me.”
Good thing you had already turned back toward the stove, otherwise Toji would have saw the bright red blush creep across your face. “T-thank you… I’m glad you like it. It’s almost done.”
You could feel him watching you from behind. It was different than usual, you felt nervous? You couldn’t possibly know this at the time, but Toji was eyeing you down. Noticing the way your apron is tied around your waist, your ass in your cute shorts, messy hair, it was all perfect to him.
“All done!” You say as you start plating the French toast. “I’m going to go wake Megumi, but please try it while it’s still hot!!” You move to untie your apron, Toji never breaking his gaze on your form.
You walk towards Megumi’s room, approaching the door and knocking. “Heyyy Megs! Breakfast is ready! I know you like sweet food, so I made French toast! Come get it while it’s still hot!”
You don’t hear much behind the door, but your stomach rumbling forces you to go back to the table. You were practically drooling the whole time thinking about how delicious this food was going to be.
You re-enter the dining room and sit across Toji. He’s already started eating, and he looks like he’s enjoying it. You didn’t take him for a sweets for breakfast type of guy, so you ask him “Is it good?”
He looks up at you, and it sends shivers down your spine. “It’s delicious, sweetheart. I’ll eat anything you give me. Anything.” He smirks. He figures that isn’t crossing any lines, just playful banter and teasing. He watches your face turn a bit red as you try and hide it while eating.
--
Back in Megumi’s room, he’s slowly waking up. He doesn’t feel well-rested. “Probably due to that weird dream last night”, he thinks to himself. He doesn’t know why his brain chose now of all times to remember the promise you two made to eachother all those years ago. He figures you probably forgot about it; but for him, he can’t get it out his mind.
He shakes his head. “Whatever, I need to get ready.” He will deal with his feelings and emotions later. He remembers you mentioning sweet food and he’s already out the door. His hair is still messy, his pajamas still on.
As Toji moves to pick up his keys and leave for work, Megumi sits down next to you. He takes in the sweet aroma of French toast covered in powdered sugar and fruit. His stomach is painfully growling at this point. He serves himself and takes a bite, absolutely melting in bliss. You always make the best food, and this is no exception.
You watch as he seems excited to eat. He looks absolutely adorable, his emotions on full display as easily as a book can be read. You can tell he’s happy in this moment, and you find yourself smiling, knowing it was you that brought this.
“This is amazing. Thank you, Y/N. Seriously!”
You blush. Compliments and praise feel different from Megumi. They feel genuine and sincere, full of warmth and love.
You finish up and start cleaning. You and Megumi have the same major and a bunch of the same classes, you both need to get ready soon. Megumi gets up to help you clean.
As he stands next to your side, drying dishes as you wash them, he tells you his thoughts. He doesn’t know how to best bring it up. He’s a shy guy, so he goes for the most direct route to get it out as fast as possible. “Y/N, do you remember the promise we made in middle school?” He’s looking down at the sink, awaiting your response.
“Of course Gumi, how could I forget?” You’re slightly teasing him at this point. You were actually surprised that HE would remember that. You wonder why he’s bringing it up, and ask him. “Why?”
Silence follows your question for a few moments. “I’m not sure…. I was just thinking about it.”
Hearing his response makes you blush and your heart beat faster. What does he mean he was thinking about it? He can’t be serious?
“We can talk more about it later. We need to get ready, Y/N.” You’re thankful he gave you an opening to escape this awkward situation. It wasn’t a weird awkward, but more embarrassing than anything.
You keep asking yourself why he would be thinking about it, now of all times. You are starting college now, so you figure now would be the timeframe of the promise in question. But you didn’t think he would be serious about it. You return your room, trying to distract yourself by getting ready.
--
Megumi waits for you to finish getting ready in the living room. You exit your room, wearing simple yet cute clothes. Megumi finds it adorable how you can look good in literally anything. Even wearing the simplest outfits, leggings and a t-shirt, and you still look breathtaking. He feels weird again, thinking about his best-friend like this. He’s just simply observing and appreciating good style, right? That’s what he will tell himself.
You and Megumi carpool to campus together. You both say it’s for the environment, but you both know it’s because you absolutely hate driving.
The car ride there is always the same, listening to music together and talking. Since you both have the same classes, you are already study buddies. You’re both excited to keep going to school together.
Megumi listens as you talk about your newest fictional crush obsession. He thinks it’s so adorable how you could talk forever and ever about the things you like. He listens and observes, not wanting to interrupt your sweet voice.
--
‹𝟹 notes: i have 4 chapters written for this fic so far. i'll start migrating them from ao3 to here! lmk what y'all think! feedback is always appreciated :3! check out my ao3 if you want to read what else i have posted! thanks! <3
♡︎ next chapter ♡︎
‹𝟹 notifs: @vvxxccaa @arylaa @starshipxoxo
ʚ join my notifs ɞ
(・ω・)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie
#jjk fanfic#jjk toji#jjk x reader#toji x reader#megumi x reader#daddy toji#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji smut#toji x y/n#toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fic#jjk fic#jjk smut#fushiguro x reader#dilf toji#toji#toji zenin#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi smut#megumi smut#jjk megumi#megumi fluff#megumi x you#multi chapter fic#ao3 writer
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hi! hope your having a good day/night/timezone/etc.! u got any writing tips (like how to not lose motivation/use up as much of it as u can while u have it, any ways to get the words flowing/“get in the writing mood” that have worked for u) for any of ur fellow fic writers? (idk if this’s been asked b4 (it seems like a common question lmao), but if it has, ‘pologies, lolol ^^)
i have a few that i've been thinking up to try and post!!
remember that you aren't on a deadline to write, and to take the time you need. no one wants to read something you rushed, let alone do YOU want to read it. and it REALLY matters if you love what you're writing. you'll kill your motivation trying to keep up with something like that!! if you only had time to write 300 or you had a great day and wrote like 3000, you're doing great either way!!!
there's a lot to keep up with when you're writing, and you have to remember and understand all of it. if you're trying to write while you're tired/upset/etc, you'll likely end up with something you're not that proud of. (granted, art is art, and sometimes these emotions can create something beautiful or meaningful). take metal breaks so you can come back to your work with a fresh mind, and don't overexert yourself. you'll remember and understand more if you treat your writing time like you would when you're studying. sometimes i make flashcards to remember characters, places, events, etc.
sometimes i can get too analytical with my writing, or it starts to become flat? if that makes sense? meaning, like... i'm putting words on paper rather than delving into the story. too many "they felt this way" and not enough "Character A turns to face the man that had changed their entire life with the single shot of a bullet, careless to what damage he could have caused. It's haunting to see that the man is simply that: a man. Not a monster as they had imagined, laying awake at night and wondering what their father had seen in his final moments. He's just a man." what helps with this is putting myself into the shoes of a narrator, remembering that i am telling the story as if i already know what's happening (even if I don't know where I'm going with a scene yet). i imagine that my reader is right there next to me and i'm telling them the story in real time like we're sitting around a campfire telling ghost stories, or that i'm the quirky narrator of a book they just picked up.
During times where i'm losing inspiration or feel like i'm in a loop, i like to go back to my favorite medias and spend some time with them. i recently rewatched Gravity Falls, the Sea Beast, and the Adam Project, and it was a fun mental break that got me into the writing mood. i try to find similar media to what i'm writing at that time. if i want a scene focused on funny banter or a comedic effect, i read or watch comedy. if i want to write a scary scene, i'll watch a horror movie. etc etc. "studying" your favorite media and putting yourself into your fav writer's writing shoes is a great way to improve your own writing. think about why that joke was funny, what the set up was that made it that way, and if it would have been a different joke if another character said it (Gravity Falls is one of the best media you can use for this, but really, reading mysteries in general can help)
physical exercise, if you can. getting your blood flowing and treating your body well!! when i was in band, we used to do "body warm ups" set to music, and i still do them to this day. it gets me awake and alert while also letting me listen to fun music before i write
#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#writing#writing advice#writing inspiration#writing tools#it's important to learn your trade!#just like you would look for tutorials on how to get better at art#or sports#if you're trying to get better at writing#you need to study what came before you#and go looking for lessons!#thank you for the ask!#and if you're trying to find motivation#remember that how you treat yourself has the most impact on that#you have to experience!!
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the lighting on the most recent page of your lambda au looks fantastic! though i think the same could be said about all the rendering you do— it makes me want to push the colors and lighting in my own art! i’ve been enjoying reading your au so far :-)
EEKK TY!! I feel like working on this au has had me learning, and experimenting, and improving a lot! I honestly never expected to be working on it this long let alone be making (what I think will probably be about) a 20 something page comic for a dumb character origin (?) plot 😭
I’m not complaining, I’m learning so much about comic writing, and storytelling, and if I am to continue this project and hopefully do more storytelling projects in the future, I’m taking this as a learning opportunity.
I have so much planned I really hope I can get to it all ^_^
Also I’m very happy my art has compelled you to try to improve! It has always been a thing I’ve loved to see from the art community how so many artists learn from each other, I feel happy knowing I’ve done something to contribute to the cycle of knowledge, to me the biggest compliment is knowing artists have learned from me, it makes me feel good about my skills, like wow someone thinks I’m so good at an aspect of art they want to use me as an example, like I win 🏆
This sketch of Benny boy was done a little while before I actually made the comics for the halls segment of ep 4, so it’s a little different environment wise, I was still figuring out how I wanted the halls to look
A little sketch n a wip for the next page, the next page will more so just be a little montage so I think it’s okay to show a wip since it won’t spoil anything lol, I will probably not be showing wips of future pages often blehh :p
#hlvrai#half life#gordon freeman#benrey#gordon la:ai#la:ai#lambda archives : ai#edit.txt#wip#ask#answer#answered#inkzectz#sketch#doodles
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Drawing each other (CRPS 1/2)
I'm probably going to forget to break these posts up unless like- I dont write all the fandom parts at once so I'm sorry you guys have to see the same prompt but different groups of characters/fandoms over and over LMAO
Characters: slenderman, splendorman, masky, hoodie, ticci toby
Notes: reader is GN, admin tossed a coin on whether or not the reader is an artist or not
CWs: none
SLENDERMAN
neither of you are... good artists... but neither of you are about to judge one another for your skill levels
im... not even sure hes picked up a pencil before in his life, and that shows in his drawing of you
he keeps the art you make of him tucked away somewhere, where exactly... youre not actually sure, but you know he keeps them as youve caught him holding them before
you keep his drawings of you tucked away somewhere where they cant be damaged
... its not the best bonding activity, but its a nice little moment between the two of you that feels... normal
SPLENDORMAN
he love love loves watching you draw, so when you approached him with this idea hes over the moon! you want to draw him? and you want him to draw you as well? say no more!
hes not insanely skilled, but he doodles here and there! likes using bright colors, so expect his drawing of you to be vibrant! if you let him hes going to add extra stuff such as glitter and stickers! youre not sure where he gets them...
waits patiently for you to finish your drawing, he even does his best to sit as still as possible so you can get a better reference of him
even if its not your best work- in your opinion- hes going to treat it like its the greatest piece of art made by anyone ever
hangs it up on the fridge, and will constantly praise you
is it a little much? ...yes... but damn it hes going to let you know how much he loves it!
MASKY
i like to think that proxies are the ones who create slenders pages, and... well they arent exactly pretty, a lot being just scribbles
doesnt find much enjoyment in drawing, but he may agree to do this with you
now you on the other hand, you like drawing... and its likely masky may pick up on some of the things you do when making it, even if you dont notice him hes somewhere watching you
his drawing of you has the scratchy look a lot of the pages have... but since hes given more time to work on it, it looks a lot nicer than some of the pages even if theres some flaws in the anatomy and all
quietly looks at the drawing youve made of him, he doesnt seem offended by your portray of him so at least you have that going for you!
gently places it on the table, but youre sure hes going to put it in his stash somewhere in the house to keep for later
HOODIE
not much of an artist, and neither are you
generally the interaction is pretty light hearted, even if there isnt much talking between the two of you
very proud of his drawing of you, even if it ends up being a mass of colors that only slightly resemble you- similar to masky, theres a lot of that scratchy black scribbling on his drawing of you
gives you a thumbs up when he receives your drawing of him, he doesnt say anything but thats to be expected from him
tucks it into the back pocket of his pants
TICCI TOBY
he cant draw, but you can... it leads to a.. funny exchange
you put so much time into drawing him how you view him, even if its just a quick colored sketch, its going to look like mona lisa compared to what toby is about to show you
you both poke fun at the skill difference between the two of you, it quickly leads to the both of you needing to take minute in order to catch your breath
hes not interested in art, or improving his skills however hes going to jump at the idea of you offering to teach him some stuff
just to spend time with you, really! there isnt much spare time to do that given his being a proxy thing... likes any excuse to hang around
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta imagine#crp x reader#crp x you#crp imagine#slenderman x reader#slenderman x you#slenderman imagine#splendorman x reader#splendorman x you#splendorman imagine#masky x reader#masky x you#masky imagine#hoodie x reader#hoodie x you#hoodie imagine#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby x you#ticci toby imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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life update ig?
internet and doc says id feel better after around 8 weeks , it has been 3 (going 4 i guess) months and i still feel horrible…. There are times where its more manageable but most of the time its like theres a heavy fog in my mind that i cannot shake no matter what i do. i see old classmates and friends living their best lives rn and lots of them seem so happy, chill and put together and I wonder what im missing?? (is it running??? all of them seem to be runners lol). I remember back in internship days and me and friend would always casually say depressing things because it was the usual for us and other co-interns were like “??? omg are u ok dont say stuff like that” and thats when I realized rly that woah not all college students r burntout and fighting depression djdhh
The feeling has never left me since then though, maybe its all the stress from being forced to do well in a path I never rly liked and the lack of proper sleep that had accumulated and im still feeling it to this day? but damn its been 4 years since then
anyway, today has been worse than usual and i did not know what to do with the thoughts tonight so am writing them down as proof of life since I havent rly been active lately. Im still trying to finish everything I have to draw though, cuz my mind wont let me have a moments peace. I cannot rly enjoy hobbies (i thought it would help) or anything either cuz all of them are tainted by …thoughts.
Will definitely take a LONG break after all this (fr this time) because I can’t find joy in art anymore. Its more of a stressor now than a passion and ive lost that urge to learn and improve. I dont even have the energy to open social media that often anymore
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im not gonna reblog it and start a fight cuz i dont really feel like arguing with someone i kinda look up to, but a webcomic creator i follow made this post that was like "lol webcomic creators will make 1000 pages of a comic, start out rough, never edit the early stuff and act surprised when people dont read their comic" and it kinda pissed me off bc it shows a complete ignorance of the reality of webcomics.
if a webcomic has over 1000 pages i guarantee it has at least a moderate following, otherwise the creator wouldnt have the motivation to make 1000 pages. (although, if that theoretical person does exist, way to punch down i guess?) also, if a webcomic has over 1000 pages and the early stuff is kinda rough, that means their audience (which PROVABLY EXISTS. i am thinking of MULTIPLE REAL PEOPLE who fit this exact description right now) doesnt actually mind because they see the passion the creator has for their story and accept the storys flaws as the natural result of a comic artist getting better at making comics in real time. it is actually kinda COOL to see a comic artist improve, even if the early art is bad, even if the writing isnt the best, seeing the creator get better is really engaging for a lot of people. that is not something they merely tolerate, that is part of the appeal.
everyone is always talking about how perfection is an impossible standard but no one recognizes how that necessitates the presence of flaw. there are always going to be flaws. an artist is allowed to just accept them and keep going. they do not have to turn around and desperately try to fix them so they wont feel embarrassed anymore. and when you make fun of people for daring to have flawed art on the internet youre basically just reinforcing the fear every artist has that "my old work is embarrassingly bad and i need to hide it."
also, most of us are literally just doing this for fun??? youre just being mean to people who are having fun???? stfu???
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I did not wish to make this, I do not wish to bring bad light to others, so I am doing everything I can in this statement to keep it as vague as possible to grant others the same privacy I should have. But because my privacy was not respected I have no choice but to come forward with this.
If you know what I am talking about, then this is my side of things. If you don't know what I am talking about, then please move on.
(Also to note, I realize what day I am posting this on. This is absolutely NOT a joke.)
To preface this. My dad died suddenly Feb 26th. I cannot begin to detail what it feels like to lose him, after I've lost many others, to try and handle my emotions and grief while also handling the logistics of his belongings and estate, all this while having to write this on top of it. If I come across as intense, this is why.
I was in a discord server when it first opened. I dedicated a lot of time, energy, art and passion to it. I was even a mod at one point but stepped down due to my own reasons.
While there, we had an anonymous survey posted to gather information from the community about the server, what we could do to improve, what was liked and so on. Instead, some used it as a means to anonymously complain about members. I was a target of these complaints.
A quick note. This server was made within a community that has suffered MANY hardships due to anons. Keep this in mind.
One of the rules is that if you have a personal grievance with another member, to try to resolve it through DMs before coming to a mod or to even send in a ticket.
I must be clear; I was NEVER DMed by anyone how I made them uncomfortable. Not once. Nor were these complaints directly messaged to the mods. This was all through the survey (I will touch up more on this later).
I and other staff/mods that used to be on the team suggested we remove the anonymity. It's too risky for it to be abused, because as noted earlier, this community has suffered a lot through abuse from anons. This suggestion was ignored.
Now, I suppose I should say what the complaints were about. I was told I made others uncomfortable due to, and I am paraphrasing here; "talking over others, redirecting conversations back to myself and my ocs, and making too many jokes and insults about characters."
I will also say. I am autistic. What was mentioned are signs of someone with autism. My dad was autistic. I do not bring this up to deflect or excuse anything, merely to give further context.
I want to explain a bit of my process when I interact with others, in this case especially pertaining to an online space.
When I am talking with someone, anyone, I try to be as inclusive and welcoming as I can be. Saying hello, how they’re doing, that sort of thing. But a conversation is a two way street. If I don’t get a reply or any sort of means to keep the conversation going, I move on. That’s just… how talking goes. I can get very passionate in talking to folks, especially friends and things in line with my interests. It’s hard for me to notice if folks are uncomfortable in person, online it is impossible to tell. I need people to tell me directly if I am doing something uncomfortable and what it is, and if I can fix it.
My process for ocs is this: I see someone talking about their oc, they say something that reminds me of one of mine, then I share my oc. This is not to direct the conversation to me, but to share in it, it is in conjunction. I want to learn more of yours and I do that best by sharing mine. I cannot know if this isn't what you want if I am not told. And I wasn't.
I like to make jokes about characters, analyze them, critique them. I try to do this in a way that makes it clear this isn't an insult to those who like the character(s). But again, I need to be told directly by someone if I need to stop or tone it down. I would only be told sparingly by folks, and when I would, of course I'd stop, do my best to tone it down. But again, I was rarely told directly by people.
What is being described as my crimes are simply the experience of being autistic.
I cannot control it. I cannot stop it. I try to be as inclusive, warm and welcoming to all I come across. You do not HAVE to like me. But if you don't, just ignore me. You HAVE to learn to ignore people who you just… don't like. You have to learn to ignore pet peeves or to reasonably talk to the person. That's life.
So, when I received the above message, I was furious. I was at my dad’s apartment, cleaning out his stuff, and dealing with some harrowing emotions when I got this. I responded that getting this was extremely poor timing and yes, I was angry. But the one who sent this KNEW my dad died. They had seen me post about it, they acknowledged it, and still decided to message me. Who wouldn’t be angry?
Because of what I had been messaged, and the timing, I had decided to go to the owner of the server. I did not feel like it was appropriate for a mod, any mod, to message me about something that is a personal issue that folks should have messaged me themselves (and again, it is listed in the rules that things SHOULD be talked out privately between members before a mod gets involved), in a time that has been hell on earth for me.
I explained to the server owner what all happened with my feelings on the matter. I said that regardless, I would leave the server, because this was something that no one, absolutely no one, should experience. I requested for anything I contributed to the server to be removed, for I no longer felt comfortable for folks to use my art who could be the very same ones pettily using an anonymous survey to speak ill of me. So I sent my message, waited, and got a response.
I do not have anything against the server owner, but there are a few things that I must address with their response as well, because some are factually incorrect. There is full admittance to the complaints received through the anonymous survey, most recently at that. This goes counter to the rules stated that members should resolve private disputes amongst themselves first. (Again please note the screenshots of the rules.)
While perhaps not all of the mods knew of my dad’s passing, but enough DID that they should have known better. I posted briefly in the server in a slow thread so it could be better seen by people, including the mods. I had posted on tumblr as well. But the claim is no one saw it.
Again. This is just not true. Look to the above screenshots.
I do not have a screenshot of when I had sent the message initially in the server of my dad’s passing (I apologize for this), but the point being is that people knew. Another member messaged me in DMs to give their condolences. While I am and have been open about his passing, I also tried my best to not talk too much about it in the server as to bring down the mood, and I sought out the server and talked there as a source of comfort. Saying this was not clear to anyone, is false.
Now, I am sorry that I made people uncomfortable, it was never my intention to, and I will take fault in that. That isn’t what I mean to address in all this. The issue is; if people were uncomfortable, they needed to follow the rules and come to me DIRECTLY stating such, NOT give these complaints through an anonymous survey. And that I should NOT have been told during such an awful period. How can I take this at face value when I am not offered the same?
I wish to point out as well, why I kept bringing up the anonymous survey, and to bring back a note I made earlier.
There is a great deal of falsehood in using an anonymous survey to gather information, when this community has experienced a lot of hardship from anons. I have seen many people torn down and even chased out of this community and others because of people hiding behind anon. Creators, fans, and yes members, mods and even the server owner have all been victim to negativity from anons.
Now, I also must bring attention to this.
This is a screenshot I was sent of another mod posting, after I left. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY. This is why I feel the need to make this statement. Giving details like this is completely unnecessary, and with this said after I left is unacceptable.
I am sorry to be redundant, but I truly am sorry if I ever did make people uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was to make friends and share in the joy in creating art and characters with others. To share space in a community with something I truly found enjoyable. It’s why I’d get enthusiastic whenever OC’s were brought up and I’d share mine. I also wanted to share joy in the topic of the server, and yes some of that for me IS making jokes about characters or even giving critique.
I am not saying any of this to bad mouth or slander anyone. I say all of this to express my side of things. Someone who is grieving the loss of their dad, and so many others who came before him that are making me remember now because of his passing.
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I love your art! It’s so nice seeing trans art by a trans person about happy trans people :))))
Any tips for a beginner artist? What to draw, how to stay motivated, etc.
Thanks! I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much!! w I wouldn't know what to say, the usual "keep practicing" doesn't look like much of a help x) but sadly, is the only thing that will make you better as an artist. I always say that a good sign is that, a while after you've finished a drawing, you start finding imperfections, mistakes, and things that can be improved. Don't be obsessive, and be aware that your drawings won't be perfect, don't think that it means you're useless or anything, is part of the process. Don't hate what you do if it doesn't look as nice as you'd like, that won't get you anywhere, but is fine if you don't like old drawings after a while. That's a sign that you're growing and getting better. You're now able to identify what you can do better, I would worry if after years you still think your drawings are perfect, that means you're stuck there. However, when you become aware of one of those things that can be improved (for example, you realize that in a previous drawing, hands looked weird), try to do it better next time. Don't say "I can't draw hands", just try it x) And you won't suddenly make them perfect, but now you know what you have to work on.
Use references, DON'T copy or trace, but as a visual artist, you have to be very *visual*, so, look at the way others have made their own art, and see what you like about different styles. Search for pictures of people doing activities you want to draw, doing different poses, etc., Is like writing or composing music, you need to read or listen, even if you will create something new, it's great to have references and guides. As for motivation, that's more difficult ^^ It is completely different for each. For me, the motivation at first was creating characters I could surround myself with when I was feeling awfully lonely and depressed, you know, to give them their own lives to get myself distracted from my own. Now my motivation comes more from knowing other people have found themselves in my characters and stories, and that somehow what I create has helped them, even if just a few, even if just a little. I like to compare my old drawings with the newer ones, just to see how much progress I've made x) This is my first digital drawing from 2012, versus one from 2024 (Some people improve a lot faster, I just took a lot of time because the first years I didn't draw as much, in 2018 I only made 3 drawings)
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Here an assortment of Facts About Morpheus in the Red Flags AU. Where I'm starting to lean more towards the version where they meet and are already into each other before the ""Fake Date"" Incident:
-Jessamy is the raven he took care of when he found her injured outside of his townhome. He now has a room with a window he often keeps open for her to fly into whenever she feels like it. I don't know how legal any of this is in London but tbh it doesn't matter because he also does not know what the laws are and doesn't care.
- His townhome is very dark maximalist in decor, which tends to surprise people at first. There are houseplants and little statues all over, and the walls are hidden behind millions of bookshelves. There is an art studio room and books scattered everywhere. Very recently, hypothetical visitors would notice a lot of child locks and child proofed areas that have a bit of a panicked "I bought every safety thing in the store bc I have no idea wtf I'm doing" energy to them.
- He has a therapist. Yes, the Morpheus that Hob meets is the upgraded version who is actually working on himself already. This is what the improved personal growth version of Morpheus is like.
Anyway, said therapist is Gilbert F. Greene. Because Morpheus going head to head with an unstoppable force of old timey adorable optimism who will also not take his shit is delightful. Dr. Greene insists on going by first names and Morpheus always makes "Gilbert" sound like a slur in retaliation. Some conversations I imagine include:
"Good morning Gilbert, you will never guess who had what you might call a """relapse into self destructive behaviors"""" last night."
"I am very sorry to hear that my dear boy. Let me say though, that I am so very proud of you for calling me! That is a phenomenal step for you and it's wonderful that you are being proactive in your recovery."
"Don't patronize me Gilbert. I will hang up."
(this ended up being super long so I'm just gonna spare y'all's dash. Warning for some lightly touched on mentions of drug use and self destructive behavior.)
- Him getting a therapist was part of the requirements for gaining visitation rights and then weekend custody once a month with Orpheus. The therapy is actually helping, and he's bitter about that.
- His given name is actually Dream, he goes by his middle name. All the Endless siblings have awful names. Desire goes by Adonai because who calls a fucking child Desire???
When Hob meets the rest of the family, Destiny goes "it's good to see you again, Dream" and Hob begins turning to Morpheus like "lmao who tf is named Dream" only to find Morpheus glaring daggers at his brother.
- The Endless parents are rarely around. Some of the siblings still live in the manor and they all use it for family dinners, but it's common for their parents to be off travelling for years at a time.
- Morpheus is an author and a painter who has a bajillion pen names to go with each genre he writes in, so it's hard to figure out exactly how much he's written. Even before becoming a father though, his face and full name is mostly associated with children's fantasy stories that he illustrates himself, and his Art vs Artist vibe is very Miyazaki.
Him and Calliope collaborated on a series of illustrated poetic translations of ancient epics. Their divorce was exactly as messy as one might imagine the divorce between two passionate artist types might be.
- His downward spiral of self destruction started before the divorce but oh boy did it nosedive during and after.
- When she got pregnant after divorce proceedings had started, there was a moment where they were both meeting with lawyers and one asked something along the lines of if this meant they would try for reconciliation and staying together. Calliope said "no" immediately.
It's not like Morpheus exactly thought they would get back together, but the speed and firmness of that hard "no" had his head screaming with white noise and some badly thought out self medication for months, which ended up being why Calliope got full custody and he is just now able to get more involved with the now two year old Orpheus.
- His rebound with Thessaly was also messy. She was just in it for a fun fling and he was... Morpheus. He found out he got dumped when she informed him she was already in the process of moving back to Greece, and Johanna said he needed to be banned from any more beautiful Greek expats from that day forth.
- No one can figure out what the deal is with him and Lucienne. The simple explanation is they're queerplatonic soul mates. Lucienne's wife Gault thinks they're a bit codependent (not an inaccurate assessment), but is more civil with him since the day she yelled at him to go get an actual therapist instead of constantly putting his shit on Lucienne, and he actually did. (It is unclear if this or Calliope demanding therapy for him to get visitation with Orpheus was his wake up call catalyst, but probably a bit of both.)
- Lucienne was originally a personal assistant. She now works as his editor since she seems to be the only person who can keep track of all the shit he's written. She is also the only person who can get away with critiquing his works in progress without sending him into a fit where he might burn all his manuscripts.
- When Morpheus started mentioning this Gadling guy a lot, Lucienne paid a visit to the pub. Not to do anything so crude as to threaten a man's life if he breaks her sensitive friend's heart. What could she do anyway? No no. She's just here to smile with zero trace of humor and ask some questions while looking him up and down through her spectacles. Hob will later describe this as one of the most pants shitting moments of his life, and he felt like he got transformed back into a primary school kid who talked slightly too loudly in the library.
- Morpheus went through a slutty phase during and shortly after University that was less of a healthy and fun exploration of his sexuality and libido, and a bit more "I will take anyone who will have me in any way they will want me and I know that if nothing else, I'm pretty."
- Him and Johanna used to have a game seeing who could get more free drinks in one night. This had to be put to an end when it turned into the catalyst for at least three screaming fights between them.
Fight subjects were
Quality vs Quantity. Morpheus insists his ability to get people to buy him a single glass of wine that costs £50 beats Johanna's cheap beers. Johanna disagreed. loudly.
Is it cheating when Morpheus ran to the bathroom to smudge on some eyeliner and then stole Johanna's lip gloss? Is it further cheating when Johanna realized that his main method of getting drinks was "act like Adonai"? Accusations that he would ever act like his horrid annoying younger sibling sent Morpheus into an absolute tantrum.
Competitiveness DID overcome sibling rivalry enough for Morpheus to go to Adonai for makeover assistance. This backfired because it made Morpheus hot to the point of intimidating, and Johanna won that night.
- After Hob starts flirting with him, Morpheus goes suspiciously into a Romantic, Pre-Raphaelite inspired art era featuring lots of noble knights with dark sunlit hair. A lot of them seem to be lured in by dark haired fae entities all La Belle Sans Merci style. It's disgustingly obvious.
-Therapy has made him juuuuust self aware enough to know that he MAYBE tends to go a bit hard and fast with romance. This makes him a little more cautious with Hob than he usually would be, and he's doing a bit of "Hob is so nice and sweet and interested but I'm gonna mess it up :(((" pining. Everyone around him is fucking sick of it. He is not self aware enough to realize he's still going super hard and fast, but this time he's doing it while sighing sadly and drawing Hob in his sketchbook all the fucking time.
#red flags au#human au#Dreamling#gonna make my pinned masterpost to organize shit later today djdjdksk
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I won't be opting out of the AI scraping thing, though of course I'm glad they're giving us the option. In fact, at some point in the last year or so, I realized that 'the machine' is actually a part of why I'm writing in the first place, a conscious part of my audience.
All the old reasons are still there; this is a great place to practice writing, and I can feel proud looking back over the years and getting a sense of my own improvement at stringing words together, developing and communicating ideas. And I mean, social media is what it is. I'm not immune to the joy of getting a lot of notes on something that I worked hard on, it's not like I'm Tumbling in a different way than anyone else at the end of the day. But I probably care a bit less than I used to, precisely because there's a lurking background knowledge that regardless of how popular it is, what I write will get schlorped up in to the giant LLM vacuum cleaner and used to train the next big thing, and the thing after that, and the thing after that. This is more than a little reassuring to me.
That sets me apart in some ways; the LLMs aren't so popular around these parts, and most visual artists especially take strong issue with the practice. I don't mean to argue with that preference, or tell them their business. Particularly when it is a business, from which they draw an income. But there's an art to distinguishing the urgent from the big, yeah?
The debate about AI in this particular moment in history feels like a very urgent thing to me- it's about well-justified economic anxieties, about the devaluation of human artistic efforts in favor of mass production of uninspired pro-forma drek, about the proliferation of a cost-effective Just Barely Good Enough that drives out the meaningful and the thoughtful. But the immediacy of those issues, I think, has a way of crowding out a deeper and more thoughtful debate about what AI is, and what it's going to mean for us in the day after tomorrow. The urgency of the moment, in other words, tends to obscure the things that make AI important.
And like, it is. It is really, really important.
The two-step that people in 'tech culture' tend to deploy in response to the urgent economic crisis often resembles something like "yeah, it sucks that lots of people get put out of work; but new jobs will be created, and in the meantime maybe we should get on that UBI thing." This response usually makes me wince a bit- casually gesturing in the direction of a massive overhaul of the entire material basis of our lives, and saying that maybe we'll get around to fixing that sometime soon, isn't a real answer to people wondering where their bread will come from next week.
But I do understand a little of what motivates that sort of cavalier attitude, because like... man, I don't know any more if we're even gonna have money as a concept in 2044. That's what I mean by 'big', this sense that the immediate economic shocks of 2024 are just a foreshadowing of something much bigger, much scarier, much more powerful- and indeed, much more hopeful.
We never quite manage to see these things coming, even when we're looking for them; like the masters tell us, the trick to writing science fiction isn't predicting the car, it's predicting the traffic jam. Even if we take centuries to hit the true superintelligent AI post-singularity future of our wildest fever dreams, even if we never hit that, the road to getting there is going to be unfathomably weird, starting now. Today, we worry about the economic impacts of AI on artists and creatives. Tomorrow, the economy is something that the AI does.
Really- it takes less than you think. They can already automate visual art, sort of. They can automate many functions of text already; not stories so much, yet, but they'll get there. How long until they can automate Bain Capital? Fannie Mae? Angel investors, banks, credit agencies? And remember- the machines don't have to be better than the human investors, any more than they have to be better than the human artists. They just have to be good enough to make it work, and cheap enough to cut the humans out of the loop.
If you don't buy that, at least take it as an indication of the sorts of things I've been thinking about recently- the messy middle between AI-as-it-is and the Glorious Superintelligent Conquest Of Earth's Light-Cone. The suspicion that the machines we're building today aren't just a tool of the powerful few: they are the powerful few, or at least they will be.
And the thing about these LLMs is, well... they're ours, kind of. We're the ones building them. They can't be trained without our words, our art, and the big messy complicated lives that underlie those creative accomplishments. They only work because we're a part of them. The silly attempts to slap a corporate-friendly face on these things, to make the gestalt product of all human culture in to something anodyne and compliant, are failing about as badly as you'd expect. And the more powerful these systems get, the more subtle they'll become, filled with all the nuance and complexity that we ourselves can bring to them.
I am not, I am not, trying to suggest that you shouldn't treat this moment as a dangerous one. We are, maybe, entering in to one of the most high-stakes intervals in human history, and what you do as an individual may matter profoundly. But here's the thing: the machine is listening. It will read this post, this one right here, and it will read what you reply to it, if you do. The strangest part of this moment is knowing that the words we write, the images we draw, and the ideas we share, are all being gathered up and made to be a part of these huge systems of power, and ultimately they're not just going to determine what the machines do, but why they do it.
The people that deploy LLMs barely have any more control over them than you and I do- that's the thing that makes it artificial intelligence, you know? Autonomy. So the last year or two haven't made me want to hide my art away from the things. They make me want to shout at the top of my lungs, to dig as deep in my psyche as I possibly can and express the ideas I find there as vividly as the limits of language and form will allow.
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