#like the actual writing in that fic was good imo but the subject matter is.... i mean. LMAO

[revasserium]

hihi, for the ask game: 🤍!

for the fanfic ask game!

🤍- what’s one fic of yours you think people didn’t “get”?

i don't rly think there is one???? if i rly had to pick, it'd probably be this serial killer!tendou fic LOL. and it's like. dark!content so i don't blame ppl for not rly reading/interacting with it. but i did really enjoy the process of writing it? i knew as i was writing it that it was purely a fic /for me/ so to speak, so i wasn't disappointed or anything when it only got like a handful of reads/likes :)

[bluedalahorse]

A highly incomplete introduction to AuDHD for YR fans who want to write more Sara Eriksson

Greetings, friends! In my time in the Young Royals fandom, I’ve seen a few people mention they were interested writing Sara but they didn’t know how to approach her neurodivergence, or that they find it intimidating. I figured it might be worth compiling a post where I share both ADHD and autism resources I’ve found helpful, as well as elements of my personal experience I draw on when writing Sara.

This post is by no means exhaustive, and I could probably say a lot more. But I figured I’d get it out there in case it was helpful to anyone else.

Part One: Resources and Such

Yo Samdy Sam is an AuDHD vlogger who talks about her experiences, and I find her video about how autism and ADHD show up together pretty informative. Since Sara is both it’s good to have a grasp on these nuances! Yo Samdy Sam’s other videos are also ones I’d recommend.

I’m autistic, now what? is also a good channel to check out for someone talking about their day to day experiences of autism. Her videos are a little longer, but she focuses often on how things have changed from her childhood to her adulthood, which can be helpful if you’re thinking about Sara at different ages/writing flashbacks/working on fic set in the future/etc.

Chloe Hayden, who stars in another teen drama called Heartbreak High, is both autistic and ADHD, and very fun and positive. She presents quite differently than Sara does—lots more talking and energy—but I think she’s a good example of every neurodivergent person presenting differently. Also, people should watch Heartbreak High and write me some fic where Sara and Quinni meet because I want it.

How to ADHD is mostly geared toward practical life skills when you’ve got ADHD, but it doesn’t neglect the way those interact with emotional well-being. Sara might try some of these strategies while working on her school work and chores, either because an adult recommended she do so or because it’s part of a system she worked out for herself. Also, the videos are perfectly designed for ADHD brains, and i have acquired many ways to self-accommodate by watching them.

Jessie Gender is autistic and does commentary about lots of nerdy things and trans rights. I really liked her video on The Queen’s Gambit where she talks about autistic girls and sex. If you’re planning to write spicer fic about Sara (which people should write more of imo) then Jessie might be a good resource!

Marieke Nijkamp is a multiply disabled author, and one of her disabilities is autism. I still have to get around to reading her novel length books but her short story “Better For All the World” made me cry and is one of my formative sargust mentor texts. I really recommend it if you can get a hold of the anthology The Radical Element. (Although, heads up, the story deals with the Buck v Bell case of 1927, which is difficult subject matter.)

Disability in Kidlit has some great resources on writing autistic characters from a craft perspective. If you’re going to write specifically from Sara’s point of view, or even if you’re not, it’s worth reading this article about the autistic voice in fiction and this article about humanizing autistic characters. Other articles on the site are also great!

I’m going to talk more about my personal experiences under the cut below…

Part 2: My personal experiences & takeaways

Sooooo if you’ve met one AuDHD person, you’ve met one AuDHD person. I can’t really claim to speak for all AuDHD people, and I’ve only recently gotten my diagnosis anyway. That said, a lot of my own personal experience colors how I write Sara. So in the interest of transparency, I’ve gone ahead and listed some of the things I’ve thought about when I write her.

An important note before I get started—this is not, actually, meta or analysis of the show. I’m not trying to tell you want I “really” think is going on with Sara Eriksson, or what the writers intended, or what the show is saying. You may read her differently, and I’m sure your interpretation is just as informed by your own experiences as mine. So please don’t take this as a criticism if your interpretation is different.

What I am explaining here instead are the ways that my personal experiences as an AuDHD person have influenced my perception of Sara, which in turn translates to how I’ve made sense of her storyline and written her in fanfic. None of these are “excuses,” but they are explorations. You can look at it as me examining my own thinking and writing process. I’m also opening up about some of my experiences and being a little bit vulnerable. If you have questions about any of these things below, or you want to know more for your own fic, you are always welcome to message me. I may not be able to get back to you right away but I can help however I am able. There are also some things I might feel more comfortable discussing in depth one-on-one, so direct messages might be better in that case, too.

Anyway, let’s begin…

Polarized strengths and weaknesses: In my own experience as an AuDHD person there are some pretty dramatic contrasts between what I’m good at and what I suck at. I’m in the 99% percentile in some skills and the 2% percentile in others. This adds up to stuff like, I read the Sherlock Holmes stories for the first time when I was eight and Les Misérables when I was eleven, but I cannot drive a car or learn a choreographed dance no matter how hard I try. This is inexplicable to some people because they’re like, omg but you know all these advanced words! Surely if you can’t drive a car, it’s just because you aren’t trying hard enough! Likewise I think it makes sense to write Sara with a spiky profile of her own, and have characters react to that accordingly.

Perceptions of maturity: AuDHD adults aren’t children. AuDHD teenagers aren’t children either. And yet part of ableism is the infantilization of AuDHD people. I don’t have a lot of huge narrative squicks, but this is one of them, and it’s rooted in frustrations I’ve had over people treating me like I’m still a child. I always write Sara as the age she’s intended to be in the fic. If I see fanfic scenes or headcanon scenarios where someone is treating Sara like she’s five, and that’s spun as positive or never questioned, it can make me really upset and it’s an immediate back button. This is something I would recommend writers be on the lookout for if they’re incorporating Sara into a scene. Maybe this one bullet point is spinning a little far into criticism of other folks, but I think if I could communicate one thing to other people writing Sara, this would be it.

Special interests/hyperfixations: The thing about special interests is that autistic people often turn to them to replenish their energy and get their nervous systems back to a state of equilibrium. (For instance, me writing this post right now about my blorbo Sara Eriksson is me engaging with a special interest to put my nervous system in a state of equilibrium and put energy back in my body.) Sara’s time spent with Rousseau isn’t just wonderful because she loves horses, it’s also something that’s probably helping her recharge after a complicated day of navigating social situations at Hillerska. This is why she panics at the thought of losing Rousseau. Now, there’s still issues here in that Rousseau isn’t actually Sara’s horse. And I do think many teenage and adult autistics with low support needs, like Sara, understand that they can’t engage with their special interests all the time. But in order to write and understand Sara, I have to understand that she’s counting on Rousseau and horses more generally as something that helps her self-regulate and stay grounded. (In Heart and Homeland I also added art as one of her hyperfixations, so she often draws to recharge and make sense of things.)

Alexithymia: Alexithymia is essentially a trait people can have where they struggle to read their own emotions. It’s pretty common in autistic people and other neurodivergent folk; I have a mild version of it. For me, tuning into my emotions is a bit like trying to figure out what song is playing on a staticy radio. I might have to wait and “mess with the dial” a bit before I can fully understand what I’m feeling in a given situation. The question “how are you?” is a bit of a nightmare for me sometimes. Because my alexithymia is mild, I usually can figure out what I’m feeling in time, but I still often need extra effort to discern the nuances. I tend to apply this trait to Sara when I write her, mostly because she seems to need to sit with her feelings to understand how they’re affecting her. This is most evident when she’s trying to figure out if she like-likes August, though it comes out in other ways, too. Sara might just need a lot of time to process her emotions. Even when she’s showing her emotions and in them, they might take a lot of time to leave her system, and she might not catch on to how they’re affecting her right away. In Heart and Homeland, part of the reason Sara keeps a diary in the first place is so she can sort through what she’s feeling.

Heightened empathy: There’s an old stereotype that autistic people don’t have any empathy. This is not true, and some autistics even have an excess of empathy. I would argue that Sara (at least the way I interpret and write her) is one of them. This may seem counterintutive to some, as I have seen people argue that she is insufficiently empathetic to Simon and/or Linda. I see it differently, however. In my own experience, having an excess of empathy doesn’t always mean that I come across as loving and sweet to the people in my life. Sometimes it can make it so you’re so full of feelings toward others that you can’t act. I often function clumsily in conflicts, and feel like I’m caught between different parties, especially if it’s a situation where everyone appears to be hurting. It’s enough to make me shut down and not do anything, or even side with the person who to everyone else is obviously wrong. Especially when I was a teenager, the answer about “who to side with” in a conflict wasn’t always clear to me. For instance, in college, I dated a girl who constantly belittled me and many of my friends, and I let her get away with it because I was sensitive to the ways she was genuinely hurting about life. I am not proud of it now, and I did break up with her eventually and made efforts to patch things up with my friends when I could, but it also took me two and a half years to get there. Thanks to life experience and therapy, I am now better at recognizing red flags and overriding my excess empathy to call people out on their shit when they need it. It took me time, though, and I can’t help reading a lot of that into Sara. In a way, I tend to think her hope that August will own up to his actions is born out of heightened empathy for both August and Simon. She pins her hopes on this solution because, in her mind, it meets Simon’s needs because the person who harmed him has come forward and is willing to be held accountable for his actions and it meets August’s needs because he can find relief in owning up to his shit and stop drowning in regret. Now, yes, Sara is absolutely misleading herself and ignoring crucial details of the situation because she’s in love, and she does misread what Simon actually needs in the situation. This is very typically teenage. At the same time, when I write her in fic, I see this as tied to an excess of empathy, and not a lack of it.

Inertia/Executive Functioning Struggles: Building on what was said above… some AuDHD people (like myself) can really struggle with making a plan and getting started on tasks, and the bigger the task, the bigger the struggle. “Tasks” is a word we usually apply to things like doing laundry, so we tend to think of executive functioning as an unemotional thing, but it can also apply to emotional stuff like, say, having a big conversation that needs to be had or breaking up with someone you know you need to. (Like I said above. Two and a half years with that shitty person in college!) In fact, I would say inertia can even make things harder with social/emotional stuff, because math homework is at least consistently math homework, but social/emotional situations can shift and become more complicated over time. At Hillerska, we see Sara get involved in ever-shifting social politics, and it takes things escalating to the field scene for her to take action at the end of S2. (In a more minor example, Sara taking a while to get ready in the parents’ weekend episode, and Linda rushing her out the door, is a great example of Sara being affected by inertia.)

Menstrual ick: Increasing numbers of studies show that people with uteruses who have ADHD, autism, or both are way more likely to have painful periods and PMDD. This is true for me—one of the biggest signs that my period is coming is that I am absolutely convinced everyone hates me. I don’t know how to apply this to Sara directly, but periods are part of life and if you happen to write about her dealing with menstrual nonsense, this might be something to keep in mind.

Sensory issues: A lot of people are aware of sensory issues for neurodivergents, and every neurodivergent experiences sensory issues differently, and not always in ways that are immediately apparent to neurotypicals. For me, I hate vacuums and car horns and bananas, but for my roommate, she hates any lights on after 7 PM and finds chocolate overwhelming. Sara doesn’t mention any particular sensory issues, but presumably she has some and masks her reactions, so uh… make up the ones that make sense to you, I guess. Or, don’t make them up, but maybe read about a bunch of different people’s experiences of sensory issues and work from there. External stuff like being tired, sick, or being on one’s period can heighten sensory issues, so think about vulnerability factors that might increase them for Sara.

Rejection sensitivity: Many people with ADHD feel rejection or criticism from others with a high level of intensity, even as physical pain. (Fun fact: PMS makes my rejection sensitivity even worse!) I don’t know if we see Sara feeling rejection sensitivity onscreen much in YR, but I can’t help but imagine she’s dealt with it in the past, based on the way she says she sometimes feels like the worst person in the world, when she’s talking to August in 2.3. If Sara’s had therapy (which I assume she’s had in some form because she knows breathing exercises) then maybe this is something she’s worked on coping strategies.

Accommodations in school: I don’t actually know how this works in Sweden specifically or at a school like Hillerska, but I’d love to hear how it works! Someone else should weigh in if they know things. But I would not be surprised if Sara has the legal right to certain accommodations in school such as extended time on tests, guided notes, etc. (Not being Swedish myself, I’m not sure what the equivalent to the Americans With Disabilities Act would be in Sweden.) One thing to note here is that Sara would get to decide herself whether she actually uses her accommodations or not. I would say, based on my observations of teenagers, is that some neurodivergent teenagers tend not to use their accommodations so they can avoid sticking out among their peers. This seems like it might be the case for Sara, since she wants to make friends at Hillerska and not stand out. The other thing she might encounter at Hillerska specifically is teachers who don’t want to meet those accommodations because they’re “old school” and, frankly, ableist. Accommodations are something one should take into account when writing Sara’s academic life, though.

Double empathy problem: This is something that the psych community is talking about more lately, and essentially the idea here is that neurotypicals communicate best with other neurotypicals whereas neurodivergents communicate best with other neurodivergents. That doesn’t mean both groups can’t communicate with one another (and even reducing it to two groups is kind of oversimplifying things, because obviously culture and other things impact communication too) but there are different patterns of communication at work here. In my own life, I vibe well with people whose neurotypes are similar to mine—this is exactly why @coruscantrhapsody and I are such iconic roommates. The Double Empathy Problen is theorized to have played a role in stereotypes about autistic people not having any empathy. (PS: I don’t actually think August has undiagnosed ADHD in canon, at least not according to the writers. Still, I think it would be pretty interesting to write him in fanfiction as someone who has a missed childhood diagnosis given the way he struggles with rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, and emotion regulation, and the way that the adderall addiction could be a form of self-medication that has gone awry. For that reason I think it’d be interesting to see a fic where the sargust relationship is viewed through the lens of the double empathy problem. Obviously not in a way where the ADHD excuses August’s harmful behaviors, but you know. An added layer of delicious nuance. Alternately, I know some folks like to headcanon Wille as autistic. Sara really clicking with autistic!Wille when they finally get a chance to talk is something I’d like to see!)

Neurodivergent community: As far as I can tell, Sara doesn’t really have neurodivergent community. This makes me sad, as someone who strongly benefits from friendships with other neurodivergent people. I would like her to have some in someone’s fic, please! Let me know if you write it.

That’s all for now… maybe I’ll add more in a future post.

For any other AuDHDers, do you have any elements of your personal experience that you incorporate into how you interpret or write Sara’s character? Feel free to reblog and add on, if you feel so inclined. (But also, no pressure.) Like I said, every ND person experiences this stuff differently, so someone else may have completely different experiences than me.

[disturbedreams]

How do you write horror?

I actually had like a conversation with my friends abt this a little bit ago so I'll talk about it here- this is a very broad question so I am going to answer it to the best of my abilities (like, how do I write vs. how do I write horror), so,,, pls be patient with me haha.

So, to kind of lay the groundwork I've kinda come to the conclusion that there are maybe 3 types of horror writers/ways to come at horror?? Or at least, that's how it gets categorized better in my head! Inspired by a post where someone described Jacob Geller as an architect's mindset, I think the 3 main ways to come at writing horror are as follows;

- The Language

- The Philosophy

- The Architecture

Keep in mind that this is all like ENTIRELY my own opinion and just how I come at writing my favorite genre, & I was/am an on and off fic writer and that's where most of my style was able to be developed!

Understandably these categories do seem a bit random but I think the example I can use best to explain it is gore, probably?

So with gore & body horror as an example, I'll go in the order of Philosophy > Language > Architecture for it to kind of make most sense.

Philosophy - Gore is many things. A lot of times the human mind meets it with, "that's wrong- that's wrong, wrong, wrong!"- and it gets worse with body horror, which seems to almost make an art form out of it. It is grotesque and obscene, and it forces you to be vulnerable- all things the mind hates. Organs that were never supposed to see the light of day are now being exposed to air they were never supposed to touch- and it's incredibly disturbing and upsetting because this isn't supposed to happen.... and worse, the longer you sit in it all, and you let it fester, it starts to become a "What really makes us human?" kind of thing. Everyone's reaction to the initial reaction to horrifying vulnerability of viscera is different.  Some curiously engage with it, some will become obsessed with how intimate it is, some will still desperately want to get away from it. It's always a fun little "how will I write these gore scenes this time" & understanding how I want ppl to react, which brings me to the next bit- language

(P.S. no body horror in it, but if you do want a good horror book that delves into like the "What Makes Us Human?" bit of things, I rec Obscura by Joe Hart!! like it literally becomes an overarching theme in the book! A+)

Language - I spend a lot of time trying to put human experiences down on paper, and it just... doesn't work because language as a whole is not enough of a vehicle to get across all of my thoughts and my feelings on this one subject- this one subject that is, undeniably intricate (no matter what subject it is, at any point in time). With body horror or just generally terrifying scenes where I really need to get across what exactly is happening and why it's so terrifying and you should be scared too- it helps to find words that are as specific as possible to the moment, especially with gore, because it forces the character(s) and the reader to be vulnerable. I focus a lot on character's reaction to things as well, as a way to convey like 'holy shit this is NOT OK!!! I am not cool with this!!', and really- it wouldn't be a good story if I didn't intrigue myself a bit imo- whether I terrify, or I scare, or I just get myself obsessed... understanding the concept of what I want to get across as much as I can, so I can then spend as long as I want trying to get it across as accurately as possible in a way that will have others sharing my fear/intrigue/obsession... that is my personal goal!

Architecture - Your terror needs legs to stand on. Your dread needs legs to stand on. Fear/scares can be induced from a simple movie's jumpscare, or a couple of terrifying lines that build a scene quickly and get the ball rolling- but for good 'ol gothic terror it's a bit of a consistent slow burn that slowly grows over the course of the story. It's usually why the gore happens towards the end of a story if it's the climax of the story, or, in other cases, gore tends to be used as a way to break a character. It's not only about the structure of the story, it's about the structure of the character. When you develop a character it's like you've carefully constructed a small building- and in this case, the gore scenes are direct attacks on where this character's support beams would be. A building within a building.... within a building...? If you will.

Kathe Koja's short story The Neglected Garden (Extremities) is actually a perfect example of this, as it starts off with the gore straight off the bat- and from there it's a slow decline (in this story specifically, it's akin to watching a team of workers construct a house incredibly quickly, then being like "it doesn't seem that sturdy-" right when a storm comes by and the house itself sinks and gets *really* fucked up... and then from there starts to slowly deteriorate and crumble.)

I think this applies to writers as well lol- like, I'm definitely more of a language oriented horror writer because of how much I focus on my vocabulary, my sentences, my prose, etc- and not even in a way where grammar is my strong suit. In fact, I am like, incredibly bad with grammar and this post is probably a prime example of it! but I really try hard to get across a concept/idea with the tools available to me and I try to expand those tools when I can, because it frustrates me when there aren't enough words in the dictionary for "he screamed".

Outside of gore and body horror, I usually have a concept, and then I write the scenes were I'm very into the concept of it and what I want to be portrayed... and then I start expanding from there and building plot, etc, until I eventually sit down and write it in it's entirety- so my personal order tends to be; Philosophy, Architecture, then Language.

(And yes, these are all just fancy words for plotting and drafting but they help me think about it easier so pls be nice to me LMFAO)

[rimupon]

While I wouldn't say I'm new to Youjo Senki, I'm not particularly deep into it either. (Watched the anime a few years ago, rewatched it every few months, only recently started the manga) However, I would still like to ask for fanfic recommendations, because I'd like to see everyone's favourite child soldier in Situations. So yea, recommendations?

Omg I’m sorry it took so long for me to answer I completely forgot this was in my inbox aaaa

So, a long while ago I actually did write up a fic rec list. but I think by now I have a few more things I could add to it…? I don't really have a lot more, so I’d recommend checking that one if you want more than what I have here.

Ok first, I wouldn’t necessarily say this is one of my personal recommendations, but literally since I saw the name 'necromancerfan' in my notifications, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was like 'Do they know? Are they referencing it? That couldn’t possibly be the case, but…' So, purely because of your name:

The Necromancer by LeviTamm The author is a really good writer, Tanya’s inner dialogue & reactions are absolutely fucking hilarious, she’s so sick of everything. But I can only really 'recommend' this with a HUGE warning and disclaimer that this fic has some pretty heavy and graphic descriptions of gore and violence. I’m talking five whole chapters of mutilation and torture. Quite disgusting descriptions imo. I personally did not finish it, but I also have friends that swear it’s good and the gore isn’t that bad. It's a matter of taste and sensitivity, I think. I really recommend you read the full author’s note at the beginning so you know what you’re getting into and from there decide whether it’s something you can read.

Ok, that was probably a bit of a weird one to start with, but I couldn’t not mention it, y'know. Moving on!

This would not be a fic rec list if I did not expound the virtues of my dear friend Tan. (Ao3 Link)

You should read all their fics really, they’re great. If you’re looking for a place to start, a non-exhaustive unordered list of my recent personal favorites: Paradise Praxis, Keychains, How I Met Your Uncle, Those Who Dare, Just Guys Being Dudes, The Ending You Desired

There’s more but if you let me continue we’d be here all fucking day and by the end I would’ve just linked their whole account.

The Devil on the Throne by springpoweredtoaster In summary, the whole Commonwealth royal family dies, leaving the government to scramble to find a still-living blood relative. This leads to Tanya becoming the Queen. I don't believe I’m fully caught up anymore, it’s been updated since I last checked in, but I remember really loving the first book.

A Young Girl's Delinquency Record by GremlinJack I think this is one that gets put on a lot of rec lists, but I didn't include it in my previous recommendations because I hadn’t read it at the time. Now that I have, I’m doing so. In summary, Tanya becomes a wanted international criminal on the run, and starts picking up many successful business ventures. Also Visha/Tanya is the focal ship.

Hostage by TheVideoGamer This is another one I kinda hesitate to recommend, but this time it's because of the subject matter. I really do feel like it’s a good fic if you’re looking for angst, but I have to recommend it with a huge trigger warning. This fic covers the topic of child sexual abuse, absolutely don’t read it if that’s a trigger for you.

The only reason I can recommend this fic is that it is NOT written as a lolicon rape fetish to get off on, it’s treated as the serious and delicate matter that it is. Summary for this one is that Tanya ends up taken hostage by Loria.

If you’re (rightfully) concerned, here are spoilers below if you want to know how it ends to determine whether you want to read it.

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While it is attempted, sexual abuse is stopped before it can happen. Physical abuse does happen in this fic, though. In the end, Tanya does end up rescued and brought back to the empire, and Loria is killed.

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Alright, I think that's the end. In the end I didn't really have much to add, I suppose? Thank you for asking though!

[karliahs]

hey so after reading through your entire ao3 account i just have to tell you that you’re hands down one of the most moving writers i’ve read in a long long time?? i guess i was just wondering what kinds of things influence your writing style and if you have any favorite books you’d recommend!! basically your prose is incredible and i would absolutely eat up more of it/anything like it

💛💛💛💛💛💛 this is such a sweet message and i can't tell you how happy it made me!! that means a great deal to me that you like my stuff enough to want to read more things like it

i don't necessarily know that there are writers who i feel like i'm emulating with my prose/writing style, or who i feel are similar to me. it's kind of hard to see that stuff with your own work, maybe? BUT i will absolutely ramble about some of my fave authors/books that i think everyone should read

i do think my stuff is influenced by the fact that i have read a lot of children's fiction - i studied children's lit a fair bit at uni and it's what i wrote my undergrad dissertation about. and while i know adults read/enjoy my work as well as teens, i think i take a fair bit from the children's/YA world in terms of writing about big/intense topics but gently

one of my fave children's authors and authors in general is frances hardinge. she is just...christ. her imagination, her world-building, her characters. one of the best things a book can do imo is take you to a really dark place and then back out of it with equal conviction, and the lie tree is one of the best examples i've seen of that. and i think about a face like glass and its worldbuilding constantly, and a skinful of shadows has the sickest premise on earth and absolutely delivers on it

i do also read a lot of short stories! they are underrated imo and very much their own artform. in the fic world if you lean towards oneshots/shorter works like mine then i'd recommend trying them out! i will say my taste in short stories tends to lean towards the weird and unsettling...like mouthful of birds by samanta schweblin, how to gut a fish by sheila armstrong, salt slow by julia armfield, eyes guts throat bones by moira fowley-doyle

hmmm people have previously commented on my writing being quite introspective and grounded, more about people feeling things than about plot, and my favourite book along those lines is very cold people by sarah manguso. it's so vivid and emotive and well-told. i have recced it to several people by being like listen nothing happens in this book and also it slaps.

i try to infuse my writing with a sense of compassion, and authors who do this really well imo are becky chambers, a long way to a small angry planet especially, and martha wells with murderbot, too.

uhhh these next ones i don't think i can draw even a tenuous connection with my own writing, but i think they're so good and everyone should read them. the mercies and the dance tree by kiran millwood hargrave are gorgeous and devastating. so is idaho by emily ruskovich, one of those books that's too good for me to even really talk about it coherently. piranesi by susanna clarke also - too good, can't say anything about it. courtney summers writes with uncomprising vivid rage, and i come back to her work often because of it: the project and sadie are my biggest recs, though maybe look up content warnings for sadie first because it's...a lot. actually lots of the ones in this paragraph have some very heavy subject matter so read with caution/possibly look up warnings first

i don't know that i answered the question you asked exactly but thank you very much for asking it, and happy reading!

[grollow]

13, 27 and 28 for the weird writer asks?

Hello hi you are one of my favorite people. <3

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Oh we aren't pulling punches, are we? The most difficult thing for me to write, I think, is probably recovery from physical injury. I think this might be the strangest answer to this, but I can't connect to physical pain at all when writing it. You can write it graphically and beautifully and it will mean absolutely nothing to me; it will be words on the page and I will not be able to empathize. I'm always jealous of people who get butterflies from the physical because I just do not. As a result, it's very hard for me to write that side because I can't empathize with it at all and. Yeah. Like I can understand there's physical elements but I gloss over that stuff hard for a reason.

Easy is found family. It's very simple for me to envision what I think would be a healthy dynamic, what would be good for someone. I am, at my core, a character writer, and I thrive when I am allowed to let characters interact and build on one another. I love found family so much. It's my comfort zone.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Hmm. The technical answer to this isn't Hollow Knight related and it was because THAT FANDOM is cursed. If I go with Hollow Knight, the answer is Hornet. The reason is that I do not find her very interesting. She's a very common archetype in video game characters - the strong, stoic, responsible older sister type, with a colder edge. I feel like I see characters like her in media all the time. As a result, she doesn't exactly interest me. Every time I have to write adult Hornet, I am breathing into a paper bag and crying.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Firefly. Which is kind of funny because I was very scared of writing Grimm for a long time. He's my favorite character (today - sometimes it's Hollow - they rotate) and I was daunted because I wanted to write him so differently than most fanfics I'd read had depicted him. The vast majority depict him as, imo, really vapid, flirty playboy - and I liked the idea of that being a facade to hide something a lot more complex. In my first few works, I felt like I touched on the surface of it, but his POV was always super scary to me.

And then I was in the shower, trying to work out a plot hole I'd written myself into in W&G, and I got the line, "Then we shall burn together in treason," and I was like wait. WAIT. I HAVE AN IDEA. I AM A GENIUS ACTUALLY. And I wrote a lot of the scenes from Grimm's introduction chapter in W&G, and realized that I had given him WAY TOO MUCH lore for a character with sub 10k words in that fic.

I knew I had to give him his own story. But I was terrified because I knew I was going to be diverging from fanon again, which seems to be my fucking special talent. Fortunately, @aewrie had my back - they'd already laid down groundwork of a Grimm that didn't fit the common fanon archetypes, and was absolutely endearing to read. They gave me the courage to try it myself.

He's mostly been reliable to me, too. I'm really enjoying writing Red Sky most of the time, despite my current weird writing problems (that I think are less RS-centric and more Ashe-is-Struggling-centric).

[chaiandsage]

Heyo!

I just wanna say i finally finshed your trust life fic after, admittedly, a long time (I struggle with long fics and typically hate reading them) it was really great I actually had a lot of fun reading it! Im really glad your fic could be the first lobg fic ive read in a really long time and encouraging me to step outta my confort zone for that kinda stuff :} anyways I did actually have a question belive it or not, I was wondering if you had any tips on writting in character for them (them being the traffic games characters) and for writting longer fics?

Hi! Thank you!!

I’m not surprised it took you a while. When I went back to read it all myself, it took me literal weeks to finish, lol. But thank you for giving this one a try anyway. It’s great to know that you still enjoyed it even though it was out of the norm for you

For your question, I think a small, but effective way to achieve that would be to make sure a character’s dialogue includes phrases or words that they usually use often. Same goes for their tone too. So like, I know that people like Joel and Bdubs are usually loud talkers whereas Etho and Lizzie are more on the quiet end. So maybe just try to reflect that and keep things consistent unless the situation calls for something else? I’ll also just try to read things over in that character’s voice and if it feels wrong coming out of their mouth, then I change it according to what feels more accurate

Aside from dialogue tho, you could also try seeing how others seem to write them most often and work off of that? Sorry for the vagueness. I’m not sure I’m the best person to give advice on that subject 😅

Longer fics however… If you’re asking how to stretch a fic out, I think one way to kind of cheat at that would be to have the story take place from more than one perspective. That way there’s twice or more the amount of potential thoughts, problems, backstory, and development to cover (learned this the hard way)

—But if you’re asking how to write a GOOD long fic… I mean, I’d say it’s very important to have the gist of what you expect to happen be already established front and center in an outline. That way you’re not unprepared for anything and have already gotten one of the most difficult parts of writing it done (imo). That’s not to say that straying from your outline is a bad thing. If anything, depending on your story, it could kind of function as a safety net for that sort of thing. So no matter how much you decide to change, you at least know what direction you’re meant to be going in (I really hope I’m making sense here…)

ALSO—keep around a journal, or a notepad, or a log on your phone, or whatever so you can jot down any random ideas that you think would be cool to put in your story that might come to you whenever. Don’t trust yourself to remember to add them in once you start writing, because you won’t/lhj

If your fic has a lot of characters in it, then also make sure to write down and keep track of their relationship or current standing with other characters. For example, it wouldn’t make sense for two people who had beef three chapters ago to suddenly be cool or indifferent around each other the next time they meet up without there having been some kind of resolution (internal or otherwise) in the middle of all that. If someone gets into an argument with another person and then doesn’t see them again for a few chapters, their immediate thought upon seeing them for the first time again, in my opinion, shouldn’t be a cheery or neutral one. Maybe they cooled down a little between those chapters, but I don’t think the problem should have just fixed itself with time alone. That goes for a lot of other situations too

So, yeah, that’s pretty much what came to mind for me. I don’t consider myself an expert on any of this so please feel free to take it with a grain of salt. Regardless, I do hope you’re able to write out what you had in mind :)

[rollercoasterwords]

hello!

this is a little bit away from your last post but i think a lot of “hot take activism” has stemmed from oh they have a point! i’m going to drive this in further so i don’t look like a bad person!

even though some hot takes are subject to opinion

for example a lot of fan fiction writers have been slated for their E rating on mlm fanfiction and many of the critics are cishet women, whilst men in the fandom have taken no issue

now if a man were to take issue that’s entirely valid however a lot of people critique unprompted which then leads to a kind of mob mentality in a way where all of a sudden all explicit mlm fics are crucified and deemed fetishisation (even though no one had a problem before this one critique)

a friend of mine had written a fic that had been quite popular in a small fandom and was basically bullied until it was taken down even after he explained that he himself was a gay male

i’m all for calling out harmful issues when necessary: call a spade a spade

but i think sometimes people’s intention can be misconstrued and imo more harmful than the actual writing itself

(i’m on 2 hours of sleep and i have more to say! but i’m gonna keep this anonymous just in case i wake up and think “i didn’t mean to phrase it like that” although i think i got my general point across)

yeah i mean. i tend to think that most online discourse which takes nuanced issues and boils them down to one or two sentences is more about virtue signaling and performing morality for an audience than it is any sort of real activism, because flattening what should be a complex conversation does more harm than good. i don't necessarily think it's all ill-intentioned though, more just....people falling prey to the social media panopticon unfortunately

one thing i do wanna push back on a little though is that it seems like you're placing a lot of emphasis on the identity of the critics/people being critiqued, and that is part of what i'm trying to stay away from. like u say many of the critics are cishet women, but is that true? how do u know? do they all have "cishet" in their bios or something? like i'm not being sarcastic here and i'm not trying to be snippy, i am genuinely just like. asking u to reflect a bit on this point and get back to me. because part of what i said in my original post is that even if u are 100% sure about the way someone identifies, it still is not productive to treat identity as a fixed and static category. someone who identifies as a cishet woman could identify as something completely different the next day, and that's entirely valid imo

similarly, when u say "well it's different if a man takes issue with it," i just...do not necessarily think that's true. obviously it is important to take into account the ways in which someone's gender identity will affect their personal experiences and inform their critique, but i think the content of that critique matters more than the specific identity of the person making it, y'know?

like, i don't want to unfairly represent either side of this conversation. and if one side is people going "oh everyone writing these explicit mlm stories is cishet women!!" and the other side is going "oh everyone complaining about fetishization is cishet women!!" do u see how. both of those stances are operating from the same premise. and will therefore never be able to have a productive dialogue with each other. personally, my impression is that the majority of the people involved in this conversation on both sides are not, in fact, cishet women--at least in the marauders fandom. i'm not going to say that's 100% the case because it's impossible to do any sort of statistical analysis, especially given the fluid nature of identity. but do u see how the fact that we have different perceptions of who is actually talking about this makes a focus on identity in and of itself a bit of a non-starter for talking through the issue?

i do agree w u that mob mentality is a big part of this though, and what happened to your friend sucks + is definitely an example of the way this sort of policing around who can write what is ultimately going to hurt queer people more than it does anything to like. dismantle systemic homophobia. but i just wanna reiterate that the core of the issue to me is not so much "people are taking the conversation too far" as it is "the premise of this conversation seems to rely on an understanding of identity that is rooted in gender essentialism."

[purrincess-chat]

You know a good thing about Ladrien being underrated is that the chances of you finding a bastardized version of the canon character is rarer than if you picked any other side of the lovesquare.

Yeah sure, Adrienette, Ladynoir and Marichat is awesome. But too many fics turn them into these ooc bastards like Adrichat is now an alphahole and Maribug is a weak, pathetic and insecure girl. Ladrien however? These two are the least easiest to turn into the stereotypes which means that most of the Ladrien fics will have proper characterization.

Yeah, that's an issue with any big ship though, people project their own ideas onto it or self insert and play out their fantasies, which like, y'all do y'all. But idk it's why I don't read very much in the fandom, or in any fandom for that matter. (That and my #adhd~) I'm particular about a lot of things, and hot take, but many popular fanfics (just in general, not just ML) aren't written well imo. And that's not directed at any one person, so don't go looking for shit 🙄 There are good fan writers out there, don't get me wrong, but very few "popular" fanworks really grab me. (Especially that one bitch that wrote that story where Marinette transfers schools and meets new friends that got way too popular for some reason) The same can be said in real life too though. The things that are the best quality aren't always the most popular. Idk taste is subjective I guess.

Idk where I'm going with this ramble, my brain is fried from staring at my resume all morning and trying to figure out how the fuck to sell myself to a panel of smart people, but anyway, yeah there are a lot of bad LS stories out there. That's why I prefer to write my own, or only read very trusted friends. 😅 I'm writing an MC story right now, but I'm being hella particular about it so I dont even think actual MC stans will like it, which like good, this one is for the Ladrien stans that want to like MC but their fanfics are just consistently bad and ooc. I think a lot of people just don't understand the show and characters, which also contributes to the problem, but in my experience Ladrien stans are some of the only ones that really get it. 💅

[brick-a-doodle-do]

For the ask game,

1-22 24-39

I am sorry

-Small brain anon

you're forgiven, it's in the past :)

okay before i get into these,,,, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 20, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30, 35, and 36, 38, have been answered!

that leaves....still quite a few. god damn.

2 : if you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? if you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

i would try, i probably could it just wouldn't be a very long time, even longer than usual. my hand cramps a LOT when i write (which is a new thing idk why) but my stories are still important :D

7 : what is your deepest joy about writing?

i have a few actually! honestly, starting with the most basic joy, it's really rewarding to remind myself that i have the ability to make a world. i can create cool versions of people i absolutely adore and make totally new people too! and i often forget that if i try hard enough i can make people cry with my writing or make one joke have people go feral,,,

another one is the reminder that god damn. almost eight billion people and i had this idea. i have complete freedom over this. i have claimed the coolest idea EVER out of almost eight billion people.

and i guess just the fact that i can write what people want me to write or what people enjoy. i love taking input from others because i know it'll make one person enjoy something! little details that i remember about someone? throw it into a fic and hope they see it and smile

8 : if you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

bye bye fucking dialogue. i would love to write something wordless and see how it works out, it just sounds awesome tbh, very moody. one of my non g/t wips is like that for a lot of it and it's just really calm to write! i don't have to worry about balancing things or making accurate dialogue, it's just one person in the universe and the vibe of that can easily get through to me. and in my experience, it'll go pretty good!

13 : what is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? what is easy?

ehhh i really hate writing combat or anything fast paced. moving scenes along and changing settings has never been a strong suit of mine imo,,,, like it always feels either really rushed or really choppy imo

and i think mental health is pretty easy for me to write. like that hazy, unhappy mind. it's extremely slow and easy to make long and extravagant descriptions with,,,,

14 : do you lend your books to people? are people scared to borrow books from you? do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? will you ever get them back?

i don't have a large collection of books. i'm never really immersed into actually reading a book which i know is awful as a writer and honestly just a terrible attribute of mine but i'm not a big reader. fanfic tho is my bitch, and in which case i have no experience with any of this :'D

16 : what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

a piece of lined paper i found in the book, so essentially someone else's makeshift bookmark

i am respectfully gonna skip 17 & 18 because i don't have the energy to really explain any of that and all of my wips are so like not worthy of those questions. the best ur gonna get is the minutiae of tiny workers i'll post tomorrow lmao

19 : tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?

it's nothing too dramatic, i started when i was in third grade and wrote a nine page story by hand and my teacher mentioned i was a strong writer for my age. i wrote all the time in school, picked up fanfic in like early 2019 (which also conveniently was my first g/t writing)

and uhh i started just because the feeling of writing was really rewarding and freeing. i loved roleplaying on roblox all the time too i would love making long descriptions of things n such :DD

i think i'm on a good track, i have 42 full-fledged wips that i have some ideas for, 3 book ideas and a cool and supportive community to share my growth with :]

21 : could you ever quit writing? do you ever wish you could? why or why not?

honestly, no, i don't think i ever could. even if i change my mind about pursuing it as a career i could never stop it being my hobby. it's so freeing and a great way to unwind, i love the thought of writing all of my life and the thought of what my writing will be like in a few years if i'm writing like this now (which is such an improvement from 6 months ago, let me say. and yeah i'm complimenting my work for once)

i never do wish i could, because i know that regardless of if i take a break or not i'm never going to completely abandon it. i have ideas that i'm too in to be out of,,,

22 : how organized are you with your writing? describe to me your organization method, if it exists. what tools do you use? notebooks? binders? apps? the cloud?

it depends on my wips, but for the sake of convenience i'll just go off of my aus on here: it is so messy. there is no organization, and if it is there are so many wips of my organization ideas, it's so sad. i have tried so many different ways to organize my thoughts because doing lists and making things look neat and tidy is my favorite, but on the opposite end i get bored countlessly listing out information i already know, so uhh yeah no organization. occasionally i'll jot down like "make sure to add this!" in my notes app or at the end of wtv im working on

24 : how much prep work do you put into your stories? what does that look like for you? do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

i love the thought of prep work, hate actually doing it. i go in head first, usually with a mental map of whatever i want to happen. a lot of the time though i let the story write itself cuz i'm lazy like that :'D

i dislike trying to actually sit myself down to make things all laid out and ready to be written cause..........gagghghhsadskdj

29 : where do you draw your inspiration? dhat do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

it depends! some of my ideas are directly from a movie or show i watch, usually taking the idea of an "au" not from the fandom but from that show specifically if that makes sense,, other times my head'll give me some three am ideas or random ideas.

i also really like picking a color and making an inspiration board off of it! it gives me some cool ideas cause imagery can tell a big story sometimes imo

when the well is try i usually either work on other stuff or just wait for it to rain again so there's water to run off of.

31 : write a short love letter to your readers.

idk about a love letter but honestly y'all are literally so cool. i know my community isn't remotely close to any big publishers' fanbases but damn it feels so overwhelming in the best way possible to get showered with love by the people i can easily recognize whenever i post something! to have over 100 notes on some of my fics and know that every like on my work is an individual person is just baffling. to know i have almost 200 followers in my corner, even if some of them are bots or following me for other content, it's fucking amazing. sweet comments and questions about my work is just fucking exhilarating!! it's so motivating to hear "write more of this" because damn. demanding. people demand i write more. it's SO COOL. joining social media was probably the worst decision i've ever made but tumblr has singlehandedly fixed every doubt i've had about being on the internet :) <3

32 : what is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? how did you find it? what does it mean to you?

ee passerine & rooftops spoilersss down below :]

i will do fanfic bc. yeah wtv. anyway there are a few, i think that if i'm being actually serious and not doing joke ones, i absolutely love the ending off passerine, it's so perfect. i am tearing up thinking abt it ngl which sounds dumb but damn. "he had a life before this, a mother, a father, a home, sisters and brothers, but what he had now was alright too. he stood alone in his bedroom mirror, combing his hair back from his face to braid it for the day, tucking it behind an ear where a sapphire earing hung, catching sunlight. he paused when he saw it, leaning in close to make sure it wasn't a trick of the light, or the lingering traces of a dream. he blinked once, twice, his mortal heart caught in his throat. there, nestled amongst the pink strands, delicate as a bird's wing, was a single, grey hair. if he listened closely, he could hear his brother coming down the hallway, looking for him. but this moment was his alone, half-sobbing, half-laughing, he fell against his chair and closed his eyes against the sudden sting of tears. he could see in his mind, a field of flowers under an open sky, a place for waiting, where all the finished stories went. where he too would go someday. a knock came at his door, and technoblade began to smile." LIKE DUDE. I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR ENDINGS TO STORIES. it's so dramatic and so domesicated and passerine is such a short story all in all but it's so perfectly written and captures relationships so well. it shows technoblade's acceptance of death so well, and although he'd been wanting of death for a while it still kind of shows how he is eager to pursue the rest of a mortal life.

also from passerine i like "this is what it feels," someone gasped, "to lose everything" I LOVE IT. tommy is their everything and losing him made the story turn so dull,, it went from silver to grey easily. love it.

ALSO. FUCKING ROOFTOPS. it is such an old fic, but it's the second fic i've ever read in the fandom. “youuu aren’t real. nope! noo, no you aren’t. youu’re not reeaal, you'ree inn my head. my head! geoorge is in my head again!” it's just so sad. i love it. the atmosphere of this scene despite it being out of context here is still just so perfect. the vibes of rooftops have never left my head.

and also this absolutely doesn't count but there's a comment on rooftops that said "this is the same story where they went camping" and i have never gone a day without thinking about that LMAO

33 : do you practice any other art besides writing? does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

hghghhhhh not really, no other art. cooking and baking sometimes but i wouldn't call my skill level art LMAO

but it did start a gbbo au and has helped a lot with terminology and stuff!!

34 : thoughts on the oxford comma, go:

i love it in practice but the second i get reminded to use it i go bonkers and start hitting things

37 : if you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

they would think i am weird as hell bro i keep writing about these people SWALLOWING EACH OTHER ALIVE 😭😭😭

i wanted to do a real response to that but a. its 3 am and b. this was funnier <3

39 : what keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

the atmosphere of the thing i am writing. i can be in the most unmotivated mood but the second i start thinking about how a scene or an au feels i am immediately lightened up and want to write it!

god damn it only took about half an hour but i did it!! thanks for these questions, even if they took like 2 weeks to finish and cut me short of what i wanted to do tonight /lh/nmay

[ssaalexblake]

idk, i’m having a genuinely problem trying to describe my STP annoyance bc It entails context for me, I think it’s fanfic-y (derogatory), but not in a way where i think anything bad about fic itself. I strongly support the rights of everybody to write good fic, bad fic, fucked up fic, ooc fic, fic with the tropes i hate the very most, weird fic, any kind of fic you could name (just don’t expect me to read it), but So much of that stuff Belongs in the world of fic and shouldn’t leave it. 

While i’d roll my eyes at a fic including all these tired, overdone, and more than a lot sexist tropes, i’d just scroll and move on. Have fun with it, I guess! I don’t approve, but this isn’t about me and isn’t hurting anybody. 

But this is like, the actual show. If the show was going to have a plot straight out of a fanfic it damn well better have been a Good fic. The kind that respects the women there and doesn’t revolve them around the men to help Them develop. The kind where the writer did a ton of research of what happened in the shows before. The kind where the plot is natural for the characters rather than a plot where most of the characters are bent into place to make it work despite how much of a mess that is. 

Mostly, if i saw a fic where beverly and picard had a secret love child she hid from him for 20+ years whom she’d named Jack i’d be like ‘wow that is So fanfic’ and never remember it again for how cookie cutter and unimaginative that is. I literally have no issues over this guy’s fic. Aside from the fact that it’s not fic, it got shoehorned into canon despite it Not Fitting The Show It’s In. They had to ditch the show’s cast to make this work. That’s how much it doesn’t fit in this show. That stuff doesn’t matter in fic! That’s what fic is For. This isn’t fic. 

This is just many negative things stacked up in a trench coat. It’s 2023, I expect Far better than this as the bare minimum from tv in general and i hold trek to a higher standard than that because the whole point of trek is that it holds itself to a higher standard, or i guess, that it is committed to Trying even when it doesn’t succeed. I don’t care that the plot is objectively shit, tbh, i didn’t much like the plot of s1 either and it didn’t bother me, it’s that they’ve Truly bought the 80s attitude from tng back when in the first two seasons this wasn’t the case. I may not agree with all the character choices in the first two seasons, but it was new, they were trying even when they weren’t succeeding, and it wasn’t This. 

I don’t hold by ‘not real trek’ arguments bc it’s so subjective and kind of absurd imo, but i do not think this season of the show is trying to do much of anything at all. I can make a crack at a few themes, but when i start to get into it it falls apart because it Always ends up back at one thing. Nostalgia. A good story choice totally ignored because if they do ignore it they can have a dramatic shot of one of the tng crew with a tear in their eye. Trek imo, is about many things, but not looking backwards, never That. Not without them trying to make a really good point from it, anyway. 

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

re: your most recent post izaya is a pretty twink with an ego and veneer of composure and untouchability in addition to having a very dangerous occupation, an abundance of bad karma, and not that many people in his life who would care if something happened to him (haha… unless?) like i actually cannot think of a more suitable candidate for whump fiction than him 😭

(since its been a while: the context is izaya rape fics)

oh no i ABSOLUTELY understand the appeal and i even have one of my own cooking up in my Brain Meats, i just think its funny that EVERYONE instantly saw izaya and wanted this specific thing to happen to him even today, considering rape fics are kind of taboo to write about, like- people will DEMAND some kind of justification over why youre writing it if you do amything thats deemed Wrong such as show the rape happen, focus too much on it, focus too LITTLE on it, etc... rape is (understandably) touchy subject and it tends to get fandom in particular riled up because of the general puritanism going on

not to say that there arent wrong ways to handle a rape scene/rape fic- i heavily dislike rape as cheap drama, where it happens and is never brought up again in the fic, or leans too heavily into the ultra gratuitous- which is NOT the same as whump or extreme angst imo. theres a difference between a hyperfocus on the rape as a plot point and a way to dissect izayas character, which includes reactions to trauma which could include things like repeated breakdowns and things people deem "wangst," BUT the end goal is to portray what the author thinks would happen if izaya were to get raped

but things that just are gratuitous exist for no reason other to torture izaya- but wait, you might think, your icon is from "breaking izaya," famous Rape Doujin! whats the difference?

the difference is, rape porn knows its rape porn. it doesnt pretend to be an insightful, introspective look on rape or a rape aftermath. it's meant for weirdos with noncon kinks (read: me) to yank it to and markets itself as such. in a way, gratuitous whump fic is the written version of noncon doujin, kind of?

the line between "acceptable gratuitous" and "unacceptable gratuitious" is VERRRYYYYY blurred and can vary from person to person- for instance there are a lot of people who think noncon doujin shouldnt exist at ALL!

but yk there is a certain good and bad way to write about rape, but you... kind of only need to worry about that if you want your work to be a serious look on the subject. but there is a certain clumsy way to write even gratuitious sadiatic whump that ends up treating the subject matter with less weight than it deserves

what the fuck spurred this rant on lmao. i just have a LOT of thoughts on writing angst and whump as its Kind Of My Whole Thing as a writer- i write good angst and i'm known as The Angst Guy that WILL make you cry. and i have written rape into stories before! quite frequently actually, but not as explicit whump; more story beats that contribute to the backstory and current personality of the character. so i dont know much about rape whump in particular so i might be a bit off base here

anyway yeah uhhhhhhh rapefic rant. rape does not look like a real word anymore

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HELLO AGAIN #1 FAVOURITE WRITER!!!

I have a few questions. Feel free to ignore them if they invade your privacy!!

Firstly, is English your first language? I don’t know if this is weird, but I‘ve been wondering since your writing is so amazing, I feel like it has to be.

Secondly, for how long have you already been writing stories? Again, they’re so amazing and I have been praising your work in all of my previous asks, but I can’t tell you enough. You really are such an amazing writer and I‘m so so so amazed by your talent.

Thirdly, what did you even do to get this good??? Like honestly, how is that even possible? Were you born with that talent?? Is it hard work?

Tysm for uploading stories, they make my days even better 💗

HI ANON! I don’t mind answering your questions but I’ll put them under the cut because I’ll probably start to ramble hahaha

Yes it is although i am bilingual!! Pretty much since I was a baby we have been using hindi and English interchangeably at my house and most of my relatives only know hindi so I can speak it fluently (i can’t read the script though unfortunately 😢). I do live in a country that speaks predominantly English though so in my daily life I mostly only use English which is why I’m definitely better with it than I am with hindi.

THANK YOU SOO MUCH!! I’ve been writing stories since I was a kid but they were mostly just random things i wrote in journals and they were all ATROCIOUS. As I got older I got busier so i mostly stopped writing but i got back into it in 2020 because I had nothing else to do and figured i might as well. I started writing fics as a joke actually but my best friend told me that I should start posting them. That was in the beginning of 2021, so I’ve been writing fics since then i would say?? That’s when i got more serious about actually writing and trying to finish stories and giving them actual sensible plots instead of just doing whatever. It’s also when i actually started caring about how my stories were written instead of just throwing words on a page.

You’re too kind!! I think there’s a lot of factors that go into being ‘good’ at writing — which is also a subjective thing imo, I’m sure there’s plenty of people that think I’m terrible LOL. For one, i think that it’s important to read a lot, because then you get exposed to a lot of different styles and can absorb the best things/your favorite things from each while also getting a sense for what to avoid, whether it’s because those particular things wouldn’t work for your genre/story or if it’s just because you don’t like them. It’s also important to write a LOT — since 2021 when i made my ao3 account, I’ve posted over a million words and written even more that i decided not to upload for whatever reason. Writing is like a muscle and if you don’t practice and work it out, you can’t improve. It’s going to be awful at first and that’s okay!! I seriously cannot reread my older stories, even some of the ones I’ve left up, because they make me cringe so hard from how bad they now seem. As you write more and more, you start to get into a rhythm and your style naturally develops. It’s a constantly evolving process and at least for me, no matter how much i like something at the moment I’ve written it, there is a 100% guarantee i will look back in a year or two and be embarrassed by it. It’s also important to be vulnerable; i think writing is a lot more impactful when you give yourself the permission to do whatever you want and put your best effort forward without worrying about how people will react to it. That’s not to say i don’t worry, but the worrying can come once the writing is FINISHED, or else I’ll never get anything done.

Thank YOU for reading and sending asks, I really appreciate it!! I hope my answers all made sense and weren’t nonsensical 😭 if you have any other questions, feel free to ask, whether they’re about my actual writing process or my stories in general.

[bigskydreaming]

I agree with everything you said in the last post but especially the Damian part.

Like I don’t know why people treat it like Dick had to choose between two toys and he chose the shinier model. He was in a situation where a 9/10 year old child was going to go back to a murder cult if he didn’t find a quick way to sure he stayed. And no option was good if Damian left. It was either Ra is going to steal his body or would become a powerful supervillain who would resent the whole family and between that is a whole lot of child abuse. It not like Dick had all the time in the world to figure out a different way for Damian to stay he had maybe like a day. 

Also we never actually got to see Dick’s view on the situation only Tim’s because the only time we got to see that conversation was in Red Robin ( which might be wrong but I’m pretty sure I’m right). Tim was having a slight mental breakdown so maybe not the best narrator. 

Like, the ONE thing I'd love for people to keep more centered in the varying discourses about Dick, Tim, Robin and Red Robin, is that like.....

The writer himself had Tim and Dick reconcile and work together in the aftermath of Tim leaving because he was upset.

It really doesn't get mentioned enough IMO that at no point in the actual canon stories was Dick ever oblivious to Tim being hurt, uncaring of this, nor did the canon ever try to claim on Dick's behalf that he DIDN'T hurt Tim, y'know?

I talked earlier tonight about the importance of remembering that these are fictional characters who can not CHOOSE any actions for themselves, but rather are ruled entirely by what the writers choose FOR them.

And the thing is.....for all that Dick is often characterized in fanfics as being oblivious or uncaring to having hurt Tim, or say that he kicked Tim out of the house and the city, or that he called Tim crazy or that he chose Damian OVER Tim or all these other things.....

None of those things say anything about Dick or what kind of character he is, despite the fact that fanon and fics have made a huge deal OUT of running with the idea that THOSE acts in fact say a LOT about Dick's actual character or whatever.....

But like, the point is not just that none of those things say anything about Dick simply because they're not how the canon went....

JUST as important, IMO, is the fact that none of those things are even in the BALLPARK of saying anything about Dick's actual character.....

Because the actual canon was written the way it was for the sake of TIM'S story. It was never about trying to make Dick look good, the events played out the way they did because the writer INTENDED there to be conflict between the brothers about it! Dick didn't find some magical way of ensuring that he delivered the news to Tim in the absolute right way possible because he just didn't care enough about Tim's feelings to do so....Damian delivered the news to Tim in the absolute worst way possible BECAUSE the writer WANTED the chasm between Dick and Tim.

THE CONFLICT WAS THE STORY!

And just as importantly.....the same writer who caused the conflict also RESOLVED the conflict. In his own same stories. Tim and Dick may have never hashed over every single detail of Tim's issues with Dick, but there was CLEARLY a reconciliation. Tim showed his forgiveness, his understanding of why Dick had done what he'd done and the fact that he'd made his peace with it, in a variety of ways from telling Dick he still had his trust, joking with Dick in SPECIFIC ways that called back to personal in-jokes that they'd had since the 90s -

(and that in fact were originally written by the same writer....like, the Brady Bunch jokes are a SPECIFICALLY Fabian Nicieza thing, as in he's the only writer who has EVER had Dick and Tim having that particular in joke between them, and he established it when he first wrote Tim, when he and Dick were great during Tim's time as Robin in the 90s. Tim calling back to those jokes during Red Robin and specifically reinviting memories of some of his favorite moments with his brother HIMSELF, like was as clear a peace gesture as you can get, IMO.)

But point is....the conflict happened the way it did, because it was MEANT to happen. There was supposed to be conflict, so by that very token, Dick wasn't MEANT to find the perfect way to handle the Robin situation that made sure Tim didn't suffer any negative feelings about it.

The reason its lasted so long as discourse in fandom was that regardless of the fact that the writers and characters both showed a resolution to the conflict that was deliberately sown to BE a conflict in the first place....

Fans of Tim decided this resolution wasn't adequate enough.

And so the events of it have been tweaked endlessly, as has the fact that the brothers reconciled itself, in order to keep this conflict extended far beyond the parameters or duration of the ACTUAL canon conflict its based on....with Dick further exaggerated into this uncaring instigator because the conflict FANS wanted was one in which Tim was Dick's victim in a way that he was never intended to be by the initial source conflict, which wanted BOTH characters to be somewhat sympathetic but now turned into a one-sided thing where only ONE character is 'deserving' of sympathy.....

But the problem is....that wasn't the story. And this wouldn't BE a problem, due to it being fanfic and fanfic being innately transformative, if not for the fact that people keep trying to point to canon actions as the proof of conclusions they're drawing about Dick's actions in the FANON conflict.....when the only thing the canon actions are meant to serve as the foundation for, is the conflict which ACTUALLY happened AND was resolved in canon!

And the thing is, a lot of fandom have done a lot to compare this situation to Dick losing Robin in the first place, but without actually leaning into that comparison in order to examine how Dick truly felt about that then, and ACTUALLY make it the comparison they're raising it as.....

(people can't claim that they've done this if they themselves are calling the situations parallel and yet clearly holding Tim and his feelings as innately more sympathetic and deserving of understanding than they're willing to even retroactively apply to Dick in the very situation they themselves have invited comparisons to....like if you're STILL calling for Dick's head for what he did with Robin here in a way that you're not having any characters anywhere, even just in reference or passing say that Bruce deserves being chewed out for to similar degrees.....your comparison is rigged from the start, it just is)....

But ultimately at the end of the day, there IS an answer for why Dick wasn't more careful and studious in his handling of the Robin situation....and that answer, for better or worse, is that he wasn't MEANT to be. The handling exists the way it played out, because it was meant to engender a specific conflict, one that was then resolved to the satisfaction of the story's writer.

If that wasn't to the satisfaction of fans, that's understandable! No story ever satisfies all fans!

But the problem is, the transformative nature of fanfic cuts two ways. And this is what people so often conveniently overlook when they cite that you can do anything with fanfic and that its subject to everyone's personal wants and agenda.

Like this is all perfectly true. But what people CAN'T do, is forbid others from drawing conclusions based on what decisions you do and don't make with fanfic.

And the problem with the Red Robin discourse, is we have a conflict that was engineered from the start, and negatively impacted a particular character aka Tim.

And the resolution the canon offered didn't satisfy the itch a lot of Tim's fans had for that particular conflict.

But the thing is.....there's two entirely different ways to tweak a conflict with fanfic.

You can make it BETTER.

Or you can make it WORSE.

And nine out of ten times - with this being especially obvious when you keep in mind that the canon itself DID CREATE RESOLUTION TO ITS OWN CONFLICT - its very apparent that a lot of fans just were not interested in making the resolution of this conflict even BETTER than what we got in the canon.

See, because the reason it happened in canon at all was NOT in fact because Dick was just as uncaring and neglectful as FANON of this conflict makes him out to be....since the reason it happened that way at all was ONLY because the writer needed it to happen in SOME way that sowed conflict between Tim and Dick and sparked Tim's solo journey of self-discovery.....

The only real way to BETTER resolve the conflict of the Robin mantle transition...

Would be for Dick to specifically approach Tim in such a way as to take his feelings about the matter into account and make his argument for why he felt Damian needed this now.

And that's something that's ABSOLUTELY easy to do, because the only reasons things DIDN'T happen that way in the first place, was circumstantial! Because the story was PLOTTED to have Damian spill the beans before Dick even had an opportunity to talk to Tim one on one. Changing a story's direction born of circumstance is one of the easiest things to do with fanfic since all you have to do is write different circumstances! Nobody's character even needs addressing there, because no character is inherently flawed for that story happening the way it did....that's why the story WORKED, in canon! Dick just circumstantially wasn't given even an OPPORTUNITY to be as conscientious about the matter as we would have liked him to be.

Easy, EASY fix with fanfic.

But that's not what fanfic tends to do with this particular story point, is it?

Instead, we get constant worsenings of Dick's motivations, Dick's choices, Dick's reaction to Tim's response, etc, etc.

The slant is entirely one-sided, aimed at making Tim not just more sympathetic, but Dick LESS sympathetic. Making it a nuance-free example of not even two brothers fighting in the face of their mutual grief, but one being VICTIMIZED by the other's willful ignorance of their feelings and loss, while simultaneously demonstrating none of the same himself.

And that's a choice that tons of fanfic writers have made, and they GET to make that choice, but what doesn't get to happen is making everyone else pretend that this was the only way the story COULD have gone, the TRUE resolution it deserved and the thing that ACTUALLY said something indicative of Dick's character.....

When not only were there these other opportunities to resolve the conflict in ways better for BOTH characters....the resolution of the actual conflict is considered irrelevant even though creating a conflict that could be resolved in story was the ONLY reason for the characters making the specific choices they made in the first place!

The discourse is literally all just born of people using the slight against Tim's character as an excuse to make Dick's character look worse. IMO to distract from the fact that this happened at all, because the real gripe was with Tim not being Robin anymore but there was no way to unilaterally decry that WITHOUT making the case that Damian should never have been Robin, and most fans I think recognize that would have been a nonstarter, discourse wise. There’s no rolling the clock back on a new Robin EXISTING, that’s been proven conclusively in the past. Once a character has been a Robin, you can’t argue away their right to ever be one period. If it couldn’t happen with Steph, despite the shortness of her Robin tenure and the smaller size of the girls’ fanbases relative the various Batboys (and let’s not pretend a disparity doesn’t exist there), then it wasn’t going to happen with Damian. So fans made their displeasure known in another way - venting it on the character that precipitated the changing of this particular guard.

And the thing is, ultimately, for all the comparisons made to the Bruce and Dick Robin debacle, they all fall short of being valid given two fundamental differences:

1) Canon has one hundred percent refused to ever fully address the conflict Bruce created in story when he fired Dick or just gave Robin away to Jason, with the only time its ever really been addressed in the comics being when Dick came to confront Bruce about it and Bruce made no form of actual apology or recourse, but instead ultimately just yelled at Dick about missing him and then told him to go. Which umm. Yeah. Oh, the resolution of it all.

2) The other key difference being that while there are certainly fans who have used these story points simply TO make Bruce look worse, the same as I'd argued happened with Dick in the Red Robin scenario.....it is still undeniable that there are a sizable number of fans such as myself who have always insisted we only raise this particular story element because we WANT to see better or actual resolution of the conflict raised in story - aka Bruce firing Dick or just giving away Robin - AS WELL AS being very clear on a perfectly easy way TO showcase better resolution: just having Bruce fucking OWN HIS ACTIONS AND APOLOGIZE FOR THEM.

So even with the awareness that while ultimately both Robin turnovers only happened because the writers chose that conflict happen, they remain incomparable in my mind purely because only one of them was ACTUALLY resolved or treated as resolved in canon, and like.....the other one is the only one that actually has fans continuously making the point of what story actions can actually be taken in meta, headcanons and fics, TO create the resolution we want.....whereas the other conflict will never be resolved any better than it is in canon, because the people who keep raising the conflict don't even want to acknowledge that it even WAS resolved in canon at all, because that would defeat the entire purpose of continuously worsening the conflict specifically TO create reasons for a continued grudge against Dick's character.

And you flat out just can't ever resolve a conflict that people ultimately WANT to exist.

[buoyantsaturn]

13 17 21!

hiiiii katherine!!!

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

relationship angst is actually very difficult for me bc like. i dont know whats reasonable for couples to fight about bc ive never been a part of a couple lmao. like whats a disagreement and whats a fight and whats enough to break you up like yeah i know the red flags and whatever but i genuinely am the last person who should be writing romance fics lmao.* easy is usually anything where people are just like joking around and picking on each other although i WILL say that i take a million years to workshop jokes and yes my mutuals suffer from it. that being said the ass eating joke in the camp counselors au is still the funniest thing ive ever written and i still cry laughing every time i go back and reread the conversation that made that joke happen in alabanda

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

my CURRENT wip (technically 2 most current wips) are secrets. the things that i Can tell you include: wip #1 is an extension of something i absolutely ADORED writing but continuing it makes me nervous bc like. you know how sequels are rarely as good as the original? i suffer greatly from that syndrome in my writing imo so it might be 1. worse for people to read (and yes i know i know yall will read whatever i write and will love it with your whole hearts but thats not the point) and 2. less enjoyable for me to write :/ but im having fun planning it right now at least!! i even got a new idea for it right when i got home from work so that was just jotted down in the planning doc :3

and wip #2 is a surprise! it is a very very new idea that is also technically not even My idea but i Got the idea by reading two entirely different fics (like not even both by the same author, and i doubt the two people even know or know of each other) and it was kind of like. what if i take THIS aspect of this writing decision and incorporate it into THAT storyline to explore how things might differ. and i have no idea how the end result is going to turn out bc i did Most of the planning at 11pm last night after working a 9 hour shift and then practicing my bass for like 2 more hours so. i might have to rework the whole thing anyway and may not even post it at all <3 we shall see <3

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

i will admit i have Thought about quitting. I could never quit writing Altogether bc like ive said before ive been writing fun little stories literally for my entire life but like. right after i graduated college i was like. i should really stop paying so much attention to fandom and fic writing and focus more on like. finding a real job that isnt at a tourist trap that doesnt respect me and i kept telling myself not to plan too much further ahead in the year with my fics because who even knows if i'll be writing fic come october or november of 2021 (lmao) so like. i kind of did try to at least slow down my writing and that. failed miserably lmao. but i have decided that actually no i do not want to stop! writing makes me happy and its something that i enjoy doing and i think it keeps my brain active and gives me something worthwhile to do while im relaxing on the rare chance that i get a day off from work. i DO wish i could write more of my own original stuff but i simply do not have the brain space for creating original characters and relationships and such which is why i feel so comfortable putting the pjo characters into so many wildly insane new situations. at least that way it FEELS like i'm being original and creative even if im just playing around with the same puppets in front of a bunch of different cartoon backgrounds <3

thanks for asking!!

send me numbers!

[novantinuum]

10 and 15 from the writing meme!

Yay, more numbies! Thank you Lopson! <3

_

10: which patterns keep popping up in your projects/characters?

Oh, boy. Ummmm... so, over the years, many of my projects have basically taken the form of "project Mental Issue of the Year on current fictional blorbo" fiuhdbnfjshdgb, and my current project is no different.

Back in the Gravity Falls day, I had an extensive Fiddauthor RP going with a friend that was a great way for me to explore queer identity and love in a time where I honestly didn't have many outlets in which to safely do so. My Steven Universe fic writing days were the times of Mental Illness and Broad Musings on the Experience of Therapy and Recovery, which also greatly paralleled my life at the time. And then right now, my biggest fic project is very much doused with sibling yearning and angst,, in that sort of "two people who had fallen apart finally get the chance to come back together and rekindle their bond and make up for those lost years" way, which. Yeah. Once again a very personal subject matter to me. I'm very glad fic gives me a space to wax poetic on topics that deeply matter to me, even if some of them are likely to never come to pass.

The other pattern that shows up with my writing is that I always find myself gravitating towards the characters who have terminal martyr disease. AKA,, the ones who are just itching to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, who feel they have the whole world weighing down on their shoulders, who push themselves way too hard, who may not always realize just how much the people around them actually care, actually want to see them thrive as a person beyond their "destiny" or "purpose" or whatever constrained box they've pressed themselves within...

*coughs*

In order of fandom:

The Doctor, Stanford Pines, Jim Lake Jr., Steven Universe, Link.

15: what do drafting and revision look like for you?

I'm a very, very, very thorough drafter, by nature.

It's to the point that my drafts often feel more like a first draft, at times.

These days, when I get a story idea, the first thing I try and nail down is the emotional journey I want my characters to go on. In the past, I think failing on this point was my biggest weakness... aka, I'd write a plot that characters just existed within instead of a story that actually led characters to change and evolve over time. I'm trying to avoid that now by actually writing out extensive notes about where my characters end up emotionally by the end of it all. This is where I think really hard about my introduction and climax- IMO if the climax of the story isn't intertwined with my character arcs, that's a sign it needs reworking. (A story can have multiple climaxes, too, though! My current story technically has four- two at the end of part one, and two at the end of part two. The part one climaxes are the characters falling to their lowest points, and part two features them rising to a new understanding of themselves/their pasts/their futures.)

The next thing I focus on is the when, where, how, and why of it all. The actual beats of the plot. Once I understand what leads to what, and how the general bones of the story slot together to lead towards the climax(es), I start thinking about the details of how my characters are responding to and choosing and pushing the plot. For instance:

In my current chapter, I know that I want Link to fight a camp of bokoblins, and then later that next morning start to teach his little sister Aryll how to shoot a bow. Those are the main beats of this scene.

Adding more detail to this, and thinking about how my characters are specifically pushing and responding to these plot beats, I later expanded these draft notes to describe how Link had to rush to take out a stray bokoblin last minute with a throwing spear in that fight, because it was stalking towards his sister and he was scared that if he didn't act IMMEDIATELY, she'd get hurt. With that extra detail in mind, the next plot beat now makes a lot more sense on a character scale: Link has decided to teach Aryll how to shoot a bow because he wants her to have a means to protect herself- so she'll be safer in such circumstances- since he's deeply worried about her safety.

Truth be told, I don't have a super extensive revision process though, because I'm a super picky writer from the get-go. I'm very choosy with my words as I'm writing the prose, so much of my revision is just flow/grammar/spell checking.