#like the 'you both just thought what a drag' didn't you part was admittedly funny

[save-the-villainous-cat]

"Okay, I know you are just here to annoy me and to antagonise me but I really have a problem and I need your help," the hero said through clenched teeth. Their grip on the villain's elbow was tight. Tight enough to make the villain actually believe that something was wrong for a second.

Admittedly, the hero was right about the first part - the villain only attended the gala to annoy the hero. No one would ever believe that the kind billionaire who donated to good causes regularly was fighting the city's favourite hero at night. No one knew, except for the hero and it was by now the villain's special liking to tease their poor nemesis and to let them know the person they were fighting against could get away with most things.

It was more like a hobby. The villain enjoyed watching the hero's little attempts at changing politics or fighting for justice that was clearly manipulated by money. Money which the villain had enough of.

"Oh, really?" the villain asked. "You really want to make a scene? In front of this lovely audience?"

The villain set their hand on the hero's waist and leaned in.

"Don't you think our relationship is more intimate than that?" they whispered into the hero's ear. Messing with the hero excited them more than it should have. The hero was so naive that it was almost funny how they saw the world.

What they believed in and how they presented themselves was admirable but it was a little fantasy world they tried to live in. The hero's faith in humanity was set in stone but the villain had seen how cruel this world could be. In their opinion, the only truly kind person on this planet was the hero themselves - a saint amongst sinners. Someone who tried so hard, yet they were doomed to fail.

Not because they weren't good enough but because everyone around them was too rotten.

"Please," the hero said. They looked a little pale. "You like business, don't you? So how about you help me and I help you in return? Excluding murder or torture or something like that, alright?"

The villain sighed.

"What? Did you rescue a kitten or something and don't know how to bring it home?"

"No, I...just please." The hero's wide eyes were almost unbearable to look at. The villain could feel the hero's hand on their elbow, holding onto them as if they were going to fall over any second.

Those goddamn puppy eyes.

The villain cursed internally. Yes, they had wanted the hero's attention but they hadn't anticipated to turn on their morality and help them.

"Ugh. Fine. What is it?"

"Come with me, please."

The hero dragged the villain through the room full of politicians and celebrities hastily. It must have looked a little strange, almost as if the hero was going to scold them. For a second, the villain really believed the hero was going to betray their trust and simply kick their ass outside.

Those thoughts were discarded quickly, though. After all, this was the hero with their stupid kindness.

It didn't take long for the villain to realise that they were heading for the restrooms.

The hero nearly threw their nemesis into one of the little bathrooms of the hotel and locked the door behind the both of them. Without wasting another second, the hero started to undress themselves in front of the villain which - obviously involuntary - made the villain's heart skip a few beats. They tried to look unbothered but they had never seen the hero like this.

The fancy clothes they'd been wearing all evening came off and for the first time, the villain was aware how vulnerable the hero was right now.

And how much they seemed to trust the villain.

Annoyed at those thoughts, the villain scoffed.

"Christ, next time just tell me if you want to make ou- oh my god?!" Immediately, the villain looked away and stared at the tiles of the bathroom instead of the horror cut into the hero's stomach. There was a giant fleshy wound, something so disgusting, the villain was going to throw up any second now.

"I thought my bandages would be enough but I bled right through them and I really need someone to-"

"And you're asking me to help you?!" The villain covered their mouth with their hand and tried desperately not to vomit. "You know I can't - urgh-"

They couldn't see blood. Their own blood was alright but someone else's? That was a completely different story. Everything inside the villain contracted and they felt a shiver run down their spine. It was such a repulsive feeling they nearly saw this as a punishment.

"Please, I...I was planning on convincing the mayor to invest in more bike roads to lower traffic accidents. I really need to-"

"Oh, fuck off. You are unbelievable. You're going to a gala? With that wound? To convince the mayor to build more roads for fucking bikers?"

"Please," the hero begged. The villain didn't look at them. It was ridiculous enough for the hero to be here, let alone beg them for their help.

The villain felt sick to their stomach. Personally, they didn't use any weapons that could cut through skin. It was way too disgusting for them to even consider it. Whoever had done this to the hero, was sick to their core. The villain swallowed.

And yet...They could hear the hero's quick breathing and their sniffles. Fuck, they were probably holding back tears.

"I really fucked up," the hero said. "You are right about a lot of things, you know? Sometimes, I just want to give up because I feel so dumb for believing I could change anything. But this is really important to me and I really need you to save me this time."

The villain closed their eyes.

I really need you to save me this time.

"Shit. Lay down." They managed to look into the hero's eyes but in their periphery, they saw the blood running down their body, running down their leg. Thank god they were next to a toilet.

The hero did as they'd been told and the villain concentrated on their eyes instead of anything else. That was easy, it always had been. It was more intimate than any situation they had been in together. The villain sat down next to them and kept looking into their enemy's eyes.

"Tell me what to do."

"Can you use a clean towel to stop the bleeding?"

"Yes, yeah. Yes." The villain found one and pressed it against the hero's stomach. Their nemesis made a horrible sound. "One thing, though."

"Yeah?"

"You go home after this," the villain said. "I do this and you go home."

"No, I-"

"That's the one thing I want in return. You'll go home after this. Fuck, I'll drive you or whatever." The villain rolled their eyes, pretending to be annoyed once again. With an injury this big, the hero wouldn't make it through the night without rest. It was true that the hero was very hard to kill. But that didn't make the situation any less critical.

"Did you know over 30% of people in this city die because of road accidents? And over 20% of those include bikes, I've been trying for months to-"

"Okay. I will get those stupid roads for you," the villain hissed. "Just...let me bring you home after."

They didn't expect the hero to take their hand and smile softly.

[beevean]

I absolutely adore the way you write Hecula - oftentimes so tender, gentle and delicious, despite the lingering darker vibes in their dynamic. Before I found your writing I would have never considered the aspect of pseudo-incest for them (apologies, feel free to blame it on netflixvania) but i fell forever in love with your series and the way you portray their relationship. Please never stop creating <3

🥺

I was planning to take a break from them, and now I'm getting swarmed with fanart and appreciation... I was the one dragging people in hell, and now I'm getting dragged back myself 🥺

It's funny because I actually had something of a "conflict" about the psuedo-incest angle on Twitter. I made a post about why I like Hecula, and someone was like "didn't Dracula raise Hector since he was a child? I think it makes more sense in the show", I was like "yes, the grooming is horrible and part of my vision, because Dracula giving Hector part of his power and trying to turn him into an extension of himself is important to me. I don't like their relationship in the show because while Hector is shown to care for his Lord, I resent how little Dracula respects Hector", and they were like "I'm sorry but this crosses lines that I can't support."

And you know, I understand. Admittedly, I'm scared when people have this reaction now because you never know if they mean "I don't support this content" and "I don't support you and I think you're a bad person and I'm going to warn everyone about your degeneracy", but I fully understand if people are simply squicked out and don't want to engage. But it really does matter to me lol. Without going too much into detail, the pseudo-incest represents to me the selfish smothering that prevents the "child" from becoming their true self, a theme I am very interested in exploring. also it's hot okay let me enjoy the hot things maybe i like writing drac as a bastard without morals >:(

So yeah, for multiple reasons, I got too wrapped up in the symbolism of Dracula giving his powers to Hector, favoring Hector (who coincidentally looks a lot like him) for his skills, Hector choosing him as his Lord of his own volition but also desperation, the theme of "conditional love is still love", Hector seeing Dracula as a human which means worthy of respect and love but also flawed which leads to his growth, the mentor corrupting the protégé into committing all sorts of sins, said protégé finding the strength to love himself more than the one who hurt him with his affections, Dracula's influence on Hector beyond his grave (like the way he sits on chairs, or the way he loves Rosaly :3c). It's a horrible, toxic relationship built on power imbalance and taking advantage of a poor boy who just wanted a home and perhaps even filling the gap left by Lisa, and thankfully you get to play the divorce yourself lmao, but I find it bittersweet and desperate in a way that I personally think is understandable, given the circumstances of both. It could just be "vampire bastard fucks with his pretty boy" lmao, but, uh. I thought too hard about it, and now I'm 32 fics and a new WIP deep 😔

agghhhhh I rant a lottttt thank you so much for your lovely message! I really like your description - "tender, gentle and delicious, despite the lingering darker vibes", yes this is what I strive for! The twisted gentleness! The genuine care that comes from a dark place! You flatter me and motivate me 💖

[saikolikes]

Aki’s P5R  fanfic recs! (part 2)

Hi and welcome to another one of my recs posts! As you can see, this is part two: part one of this post can be found HERE and includes fics I bookmarked between April 2019 and December 2020. This second post will deal with everything I bookmarked during 2021 and 2022 (... so yes, part 3 is bound to happen some times in the future)

Here a brief disclaimer:

Everything in here is spoiler for either P5 vanilla, Royal, or Strikers;

I won’t report the tags, as it would take too long, so if you’re interested in a fic, please open the link;

Fic recs obviously reflect my tastes and preferences. For example, I love suffering and I don’t like fluff or domestic works, so browse this list knowing that;

The stark majority of the works here is shuakeshu

If you want more recs you can find them in my bookmarks, most of them are public!

MY ONGOING RECS Again, I don't read a lot of ongoing works (although, admittedly more than in the past) and these are the ones I'm subscribed to that I'm adoring!

The Lovers, Reversed by salexectria, Terra5 (E) | Royalty a/b/o AU | akeshu | series in three parts, ongoing "A Thief is caught stealing from the Northern King, and is sentenced to death for his crimes. The Alpha Prince intervenes, but at what cost to them both?" What I love about this AU is the amount of politics and worldbuilding put into it, as well as the uniqueness of double povs who constantly switch from Akira to Goro creating one back and forth that acts literally like poking into their minds. Plus the slow burn and the pining are just on point.

never die when I'm dead by threerings (E) | Royal & post-Royal | akeshu | series in 2 parts, ongoing Two one shots featuring one of my absolute flavors of this ship: sad, intense and unhinged

IDC FOR UPDATES I resolved to defeat my abandoned-wip trauma one excellent fic at a time so here's a list of works that haven't been updated in a while or the author straight up confirmed they won't keep writing them, but they are so good you just have to read them and let them remodel you. Do it. Do it now.

the year of the knife by theexistentiallyqueer (M) | No powers AU | shuakeshu | 2 chapters "The plan for Akira's junior year of high school was to keep his head down and his nose clean, but he hadn't counted on his new high school having more trouble than it was worth--and he specifically didn't plan on Akechi Goro, the haughty, machiavellian vice president of Shujin Academy's student council, dragging him face-first into political scandal and a series of encounters that would change his life." Please let teq bring you through a journey of spot-on characterization and stunning prose that will rewire your brain chemistry completely. Their take on machiavellian Akechi is really good, and the snark Akira spits in this fic is really something I cherish.

kiss & cry by MajorGodComplex (T) | Figure skating AU | shuakeshu | 2 chapters "Goro’s first thought when he hits the ground is some combination of the words ‘shit fuck hell fucking bullshit bitch fuck motherfucking hell.’ His next thought is wondering whether Akira Kurusu, senior debut, constant thorn in Goro’s side, and the only person anyone this season seems to talk about, is also trying to land a quad axel at the moment." I don't know what to tell you, the prose of this one is so witty and funny you just have to read what's published of it as of now!

honeybrains by succubused (T) | Time loop | shuakeshu | 4 chapters "a chronicle of the twenty-fourth time akira kurusu lived through the month of january 2017" What can I say, I am really a sucker for time loops and this fic took me by the heart. Tagged as character study and with rights because the characterization here is very interesting!

in the snow globe by aminami (E) | Time travel | shuake | 1 chapter "It’s your heart,” Joker says like it’s the most obvious thing. “Your desires, your hopes, your fears. I’ll carry them with me always. My little snow globe." This fic will hurt you so badly but it will be so worth it, I swear. It's just so melancholic and tender and angsty and it carved a place in my heart.

my love has never lived indoors by rhodophytae (E) | a/b/o | shuake | 1 chapter "Ren Amamiya knows he's an alpha, and he's comfortable with that, but he's pretty sure that being an alpha is, well...different for him than it is for other people. He resigned himself a long time ago to the fact that he'd probably go his whole life without finding anyone else like him. And then he meets Goro Akechi." This fic has such an interesting take on omegaverse! Paired with a stellar characterization and delicious pining, it's no surprise it's a fic I will never forget.

GENERAL RECS The fics I’ve enjoyed the most and that I go back to reading sometimes.

how joker and crow survived the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 by shntlvs (T) | Royal | shuakeshu | series of 2 works "Escaping from Maruki's false reality gets interrupted by the Coronavirus pandemic." Could you have ever imagined reading a fic centered around the pandemic? Me neither, but this one and its sequel work so well and have very compelling bits of characterization for the boys. Unexpected premise, but I utterly loved it.

straw house, straw dog by caelam (T) | 3rd sem | gen | one shot "In the saccharine utopia of Maruki’s reality, Goro Akechi’s mother is still alive." I admittedly don't read too many fics with mamakechi so I won't claim to be an expert, but this one really left me impressed with how clear and tangible the tangle of feelings is.

Knight of Pentacles, King of Spades by Naometry (M) | Medieval AU | shuakeshu | 11 chapters "“Hifumi passed on your greetings,” Akira Kurusu says, fury simmering beneath his conversational tone. “And I’m polite enough to give you my own in person. So greetings, General Goro Akechi. I am the man who will kill you.”" I started reading this fic for the war captive trope but this story has so much more to it than just that. Nao's superb skill with writing violence and viciousness will have you thrust into a cruel world where two boys seem to be bound to kill each other... unless?

Ripples by Riona (T) | gen | canon compliant | one shot "Ten people know exactly who the news is talking about, and now they’re going to have to deal with that." A peek into the heads of 10 of Joker's confidants upon learning about his death. The fic I would never imagined myself reading, but I did because it was recced to me, and now I'm recc'ing it to you, too.

When Your Eyes Meet Mine by seths_dream (E) | no powers AU | shuake | one shot "The way the bellboy lingered on him made his heart jolt, made him think that maybe, maybe the bellboy was looking at Goro the same way Goro was looking at him." I've lost count of how many times I read this fic because the horny is just so juicy, it's unironically one of the fics I come back to when I need to remind myself how to write horny stuff. (the same author also wrote this delicious pegoryu that you have to read)

a study in what not to say by succubused (T) | 3rd sem | shuake | one shot "Akira has finally had enough of Akechi's bullshit; they resolve it the only ways they know how." If you like the boys being really nasty to each other, this fic is a must. It has excellent dialogue, dynamics, and a tad of homoerotic wound tending which can't hurt no one!

MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITES The fics that rewired my brain chemistry, took my heart out, slapped it, put it back, and left me a whole new person.

27 steps to seduce a crow by relationshipcrimes (G) | Royal | shuakeshu | one shot "A handy bullet-pointed list on how to flirt with, seduce, and keep your local Akechi Goro." Still to this day, I think of this fic in terms of Goro's characterization. If I have a thing for post-canon shuake chasing each other, it's probably due to this one.

The Brigverse by TzviaAriella (E but most works are M) | Pirates AU | akeshuake | series, ongoing I admittedly don't care that much about pirates but the og fic from this series (A Brig Too Far) was being passed on so much that I gave it a try and. Oh boy. Not only is the characterization impeccable, the story compelling, and the action thrilling, but at least one scene and/or line from each work in this series has altered my brain permanently. I am a new person after reading Brigverse.

wild and free by bangandawhimper (E) | a/b/o | shuakeshu | one shot "Akira Kurusu hasn’t always been an omega. But now everyone he meets in this city assumes he’s an omega. He’s treated like an omega. He feels like an omega. He knows he feels like an omega because he remembers what it was to be an alpha." This work might have my favourite take ever on shuakeshu omegaverse, it's so fitting for them, so thought out, and the characterization is so on point... my god. Read this fic now.

The Diamond Chest by kinneas (E) | post-Royal | shuakeshu | 3 chapters, complete "Who says you have to see Morgana speak in the Metaverse before you can hear him in the real world? Not the few hundred officers who arrested Ren in Sae’s Palace two years ago, that’s for sure." Honestly everything kinnes writes is gold but I'm shouting this fic out because I reread more than a few scenes from this fic more than once, and it's a 100k-words baby. I am a sucker for heist stories, I am a sucker for dealing with trauma in very tangible ways, and I'm a sucker for kinneas' characterization of the boys.

before midnight by specterthief (Not rated) | 3rd sem, canon compliant | gen | one shot "“I—” Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Sumire sets down her chopsticks and rubs her face with both hands. “Um—who told you I was going to training camp?” (On January 9th, Sumire goes home.)" This is the stellar Sumire characterization fic you're looking for. Read this. Read this right now.

I HOPE THIS DOESN'T AWAKEN SOMETHING IN ME (DELUSIONAL) I clicked on these fics solely due to my trust in the authors/the summary/one rec and now I find myself with a new kink. Thanks.

Containment Breach by salexectria (E) | Space pirates AU | akeshu | one shot Akira gets stranded on an abandoned spaceship seemingly infested by a terrifying creature. He finds the lonely survivor of the crew and they begrudgingly start to work together to contact help and survive. I am just going to say that I clicked for salex's name, I stayed for the stellar characterization, pining and top-tier bantering, and got overwhelmed by the tentacle sex. (/pos)

it takes two by lumensd (E) | 3rd sem | akeshu | two-shots By all means, this series has some things I usually am not interested in (phone sex, degradation) but Jay is so skilled and his akeshus are so fucked in the head that now I've signed up for the masochist Joker agenda. Hurray!

i dream of you draped in wires by rime (E) | 3rd sem | akeshu | one shot "Maruki's Shadows don't want to fight; they just want to collect data. Wait, are those cat ears?" You would think a work with the tag "catboy shibari gunplay fuckordie" can't be too serious. Wrong! Excellent character study attack 🔪🔪🔪 (from the same author there's also this P5 vanilla fic that is excellent)

Darken my doorway by EnlacingLines (E) | 3rd sem-post canon | akeshu | one shot ""I don’t need to test my theory. You should be thanking me, really. Opening this door for you.” “A door to what?” Akira says, exasperated by just how self congratulatory Goro still sounds.“ Submission.” Or: I am a firm switch shuake shipper, I don't vibe with too-extreme dynamics *proceeds to go ballistics over this fic regardless*, *awakens to the wonder of d/s a lil fucked up dynamics*

[goddesspharo]

I am blown away by “that on and off again (and on again)” and “twenty percent skill, eighty percent beer” Hannix stories! 🤩🤩🤩 Can we have a sneak peek into the next chapters or when you think you’ll post them? 🥰

I had the most infuriating day so thank you for this ask because it made me smile - I'm glad you're enjoying them! Life is definitely getting in the way of writing. The funny thing is I know every beat that both of these stories will take instead of seeing where the writing takes me so you'd think it would be done already.

twenty percent skill, eighty percent beer was always going to be a two-parter (because I cannot drag yet another WIP into the abyss of a nebulous or ever-expanding chapter count) so the next part is the last part. It's about a third done and I really thought I was going to just bang it out while I still had momentum, but then I got distracted with something else. (I'm almost positive it was a string of insane nights on call and a bunch of shitty movies.) This will probably be done before the other ones though.

that on and off again (and on again) is more peculiar in that I've got probably a quarter of the next chapter (Positano, baby!) done, admittedly not in any sort of order, but I've got like 90% of the last chapter done. I started writing it, realized it was meant to be for something that comes way later, and ended up basically rolling with that. So I really need to finish the Positano chapter because the San Diego, again chapter is tap dancing near the end zone waiting to finish this game.

Any sneak peek for the time loop fic would give too much away so here's a snippet from that on and off again (and on again):

All in all, Natasha thinks they're doing okay until Lexie's eyes dart between them and she asks, "So what's really going on with you two anyway?" "What do you mean?" Natasha asks casually as Jake's grip tightens around the steering wheel. "You didn't actually think anyone believed that Jake brought his work colleague to a destination wedding, did you?" "We're not talking about this right now," Jake quickly replies, glancing at the rear view mirror to flash his sister a look to drop it. "False. I need something to distract me from this excruciating pain." Lexie shifts her attention back to Nat and declares, "Clearly, you're fucking each other." "We're really not," Natasha replies, for once not lying about her non-relationship status with Hangman. They are technically no longer fucking. Sure, the technicality started forty minutes ago, but it still counts as the truth.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Florrickology, Part 3: Wyll's Womancrush Wednesday

If Wyllyam Ravengard is gonna do one thing, it's gush about powerful ladies his dad works with big misty heart eyes and his goblet overflowing with Respect Women Juice. While it seems BabyWyll didn't hold a candle for Florrick like he did for Duke Stellmayne, he regards her as a knightly badass to aspire to, just like dear ol' dad.

Thus, when probed about her in Act 2, he delivers the following glowing endorsement... which is also implies some weird things about his (s)hero, when you really think about it.

Player: Can we trust Florrick? Wyll: I was eleven when the counsellor spotted and slayed an assassin who stalked father from the shadows. Wyll: I was thirteen when she brought word of a goblin warband advancing on Rivington. Her keen scouting saved a hundred lives that day. Wyll: The counsellor's loyalty to my father is beyond question. She's as steady as Tyr's heartbeat, as upstanding as the Sword Mountains.

These lines are a prime example of what exactly I meant by 'unintended characterization' in Florrickology Part 1. The point of this conversation is just to confirm that, yes, the player should trust and continue to cooperate with Florrick because her loyalty is well-proven. What Wyll literally says about her isn't important; it's the impression they leave you with that matters.

The writers possibly didn't really mean to imply anything extra with these lines.

But, they did.

What's more, is they seemingly managed to imply two consistent, if odd, things about her.

Wyll, what do you mean she 'spotted and slayed an assassin'?

Wyll, what do you mean 'her keen scouting'?

Both of these are pretty weird things to say about a woman otherwise presented as a urban public servant... but are they weird things to imply about Florrick? Let's dive in.

Side note: it's also funny yet perfectly in character that Wyll looks upon these subtly bonkers accomplishments with such high esteem, since he is also completely insane but manages to maintain a veneer of "the only reasonable person in the room"

In this universe, the threshold for killing people is admittedly pretty low, but the implication that Florrick kills people sounds sort of strange, especially the add-on that she just straight up and killed someone on the streets--no judge or jury, just executioner.

Florrick, a woman presented as a paragon of virtue, whom Wyll promptly then describes as 'upstanding as the Sword Mountains', kills people? And she is a wizard, so she kills people instead of casting any number of incapacitating spells like Sleep, Command, Hold Person, etc?

Yup-- if they're coming after Ulder Fucking Ravengard!

I will have many thoughts about the debacle that is her confrontation in Act 3 in another post, when she believes Wyll sold his father up the river for his freedom, slaps on a fuckass hood, and comes directly for his head, but at least it's consistent with something. She, like Wyll, looks upon Ulder as a hero and the soul of the city she loves and serves so faithfully, and so she, like Wyll, will scuttle all over creation to find him, take on any enemy to save him, and will treat any attempt on him is an attack that must be answered with impunity.

Moving on to the second line, whereas Wyll's other above is echoed in something else that comes up later, Florrick's alleged prowess as a scout is actually mentioned earlier, in Act 1... to a much less frustrating and much more amusing effect:

In Waukeen's Rest, Florrick states "the Duke has been taken westward, if my eyes and ears are to be believed."

By "my eyes and ears", one might assume she means informants... until you remember she's trapped alone and escapes with the player, so there's no way someone debriefed with her during the 15 seconds between busting down the door and this conversation.

So clearly, she was in the burning inn staring through a burning window , mad as fuck, at the drow dragging him away like

tbf "her eyes and ears" could also be people yelling what's going on from the ground while she's trapped upstairs but shhhh this is for fun

While this is again an odd thing to imply about an urban bureaucrat, this one actually makes a lot of sense... because she's a wood elf, a race famously good at scouting the wilderness.

This is slightly debatable because the game randomly doesn't list her subrace and she lacks the Fleet of Foot trait (implying she's a high elf), but I assume her dress is simply so tight and impractical that it nerfs her movement speed. On top of having a distinctive wood skin tone, she's filed under "wood elves" in the list of character models in game files, and if she dies in Waukeen's Rest, you can report finding a dead female wood elf to the Fist and they immediately know it's her. So it seems the intention was for her to be a wood elf, even if they didn't execute it fully.

So, what's strange isn't so much that she possesses this skill, but rather that she deploys it on such a notable basis.

So, unlike Wyll's first line which reinforces something we come to learn later, this line opens opportunities to wonder what we don't know about Florrick.

In the previous installment of Florrickology, I posited she was possibly around 120-130 years old, but Wyll's examples only account for what she was doing 13 and 11 years ago. Other commentary, such as by Ulder, indicates she's been a friend of the family and a public servant for quite some time, but how long? We could have up to 100 years of life to play with. She well could have been wildin' since before Ulder was even born.

Has she always lived in Baldur's Gate? Was she always a government official? Is she even a Flaming Fist (I don't think so tbh, I think she's just understood to be Ulder's stand-in) or was she and if she was, what kind of shit did she get up to? When and how did she meet Ulder? Was she always a wizard (she is only level 6 in Act 1...)? And endless more questions!

The implication seems to be that she's been an advisor as long as Ravengard has been duke, so like... what was she doing out there at all, 11 years ago, discovering goblins far enough away from Rivington that she could intervene and save the whole town? Hiking? Keeping up with her secret ranger multiclass levels? Picking up a patrol shift to stunt on all the humans by having 4 extra hours in the day to spend in service of the city? Visiting her wood elf polycule in the woods and happened across goblin tracks?

For the discerning background character fan, this is a goldmine.

Speaking of headcanons and Wyll, I have also decided that one of his best and funniest ambient dialogues references Florrick, even though it's completely unsubstantiated:

Wyll: When I was a child, father sent me to Sharess' Caress to deliver messages. How was I to know what went on behind its closed doors? Lae'zel: Eating, sleeping, and sex acts of all manner, of course. Wyll: Hm. What's plain to you wasn't so plain to mini-Wyll. Lae'zel: Mini-Lae'zel wasn't so sheltered. On Creche K'liir, very little is hidden behind doors.

We all know Ulder only has one person he'd need to talk to so damn bad that he'd send his son to bother her at the damn brothel!!!

[egg-emperor]

What are your thoughts on Sonic Superstars as a whole?

I liked it! It's simple and fun, it serves its purpose as a classic game and captures the feel of the 2D main titles well in a cool new 3D way in gameplay, controls, music, plot, animation, etc. Definitely prefer Mania, especially since I replayed it earlier in the year to refresh myself on it but that doesn't mean it's bad in comparison like some are saying. It holds up against all the other classic games well, I think, so I consider that a win.

I had fun with it. I had to play single player but I feel it would've been a little more enjoyable on multi because it definitely felt like some parts were designed with it in mind, such as the length of the bosses and how much damage they can take, as I can imagine it would've been over in seconds if four players were all fighting it at once if they hadn't. True or not, some feel they drag on a little too much on single player.

The bosses ranged from enjoyable to frustratingly difficult because of how long they were. I can imagine that isn't so much of a problem with multiple players. The actual stages were almost too easy in comparison, they lacked the challenge Mania constantly offered but it made for nice relaxed gameplay in comparison where I could just sit back and enjoy, (which I'd been wanting after the nightmare difficulty of Final Horizon lol) so it's not terrible.

The Eggman themed stages like Pinball Carnival, Press Factory, and Egg Fortress included basically all my favorites and that's not even just my bias, they were the most fun for me gameplay wise too- and they also looked really fucking cool. I always love when Eggman's love for carnival shows and the dark industrial pollution of Press Factory was so awesome and my element, I enjoyed the look and the stakes of act 2 🥰💜

The new robots and boss designs both the funny huge animals and ones Eggman got to pilot were really cool too! And Eggman's adorable model and all his animations were just so precious, he's so full of life and charm and character and made me so happy. 💕 I wish he'd gotten more drawn animation and context in the plot in game but combined with the prequel comic, manga, and Trio of Trouble, it was a good amount.

Admittedly, I haven't played all of the game yet, only the main story mode, so I can only speak for that. I skipped all the extra optional acts and haven't played Trip's and the Last Story. Mostly because I got the game a couple days early but was in a rush to be somewhere, so I only played what I had to get the Eggman related stuff I needed, make my video, and be on my way. XD After main story, I didn't mind spoiling myself the rest.

I find it odd how Eggman is completely absent from Trip's and the Last Story, I hoped to see more of how Trip joined his side and I also feel there at least should've been a bit of context provided for how the dragon got out to fight because it was strange how it just appeared out of nowhere and went just as fast. I didn't expect crazy depth from a classic game but that was a little too random to just throw at you like that lol

But other than that it pretty much gave us just about everything I expected and I'm happy with it. I kinda don't think it was quiiite worth £60 as I enjoyed Mania more and that was way less expensive, (though maybe that's too soon for me to say as I haven't played the other two campaigns), so I say unless you're super eager then maybe wait for a price drop- but I do recommend the experience for a nice little fun time with a faithful classic feel!

[lizzygrantarchives]

Index Magazine, fall 2008

I'm waiting at Alice's Tea Cup, a café on the Upper East Side, when Lizzy Grant saunters up. She's wearing skintight black pants, a vintage floral blouse and a red letterman’s jacket. Her bright blonde hair is piled on top of her head and her eyes are rimmed with sooty eyeliner. If we were in a movie, her entrance would be scored with a vamp, the bass line revving to announce the arrival of an enchanting young ingénue.

But since we're not in a film, she's scored her own entrance with her CD Kill Kill. Produced by David Kahne (Regina Spektor, Sublime, Paul McCartney), the music is lush and cinematic, with strings, Wurlitzers, and electric guitars, recalling 50s-era Americana both sonically and thematically. The mix is anchored by Lizzy's voice, which twists between a smoky gravel and a breathy Marilyn coo as she wails about the timeless ache of love in a modern world.

Her EP, also titled Kill Kill, is out October 21 with a full length LP due in February ‘09. Over coffee, we discussed her music, her trailer home, and Tiger Beat.

You describe your music as Hawaiian glam metal and surf noir. How did you come to those descriptions?

At first I didn't know why I liked the “Hawaiian and glam,” idea but as I started listening to more artists I like, it made sense. There was just something about the look of Hawaii and then I started thinking more about Elvis and I couldn't believe how many Hawaiian references there were in his work. And the glam came from an old boyfriend, who was very handsome. He said that his music was glam, so I copied him. And then I started to look at other glam-y artists and movies-- you know, like “Velvet Goldmine,” and I thought, this is what I've always wanted to do. I'm very into a drag queen world-- anything showy and gold.

And what about metal?

The same boyfriend taught me all about Van Halen and Poison, and he called them metal bands. As soon as I heard them, I thought, “these are my people!” And then it was all that I listened to, so... When I met with all the big record labels, they didn't like the term “metal” at all, because admittedly the music doesn't sound like metal. But, it is influenced by men who like metal.

And surf noir is the similar to the Elvis references?

Surf noir is one of those two word phrases that came together for me. I was listening to a lot of Beach Boys and watching a lot of movies and I just felt like what I wanted to be was something “surf noir.” But then I started searching for the words together, and there is a movement called surf noir, but it’s a style of cinema… I couldn't buy Surfnoir.com.

So the EP has three songs-- any plans to release a full CD?

Yes, when I recorded with Davey [David Kahne], we recorded 13 songs. So I was never expecting to release an EP, but when iTunes came to us, and became fervent supporters and said, “put out anything and we'll give you the artist's spotlight.” We decided, okay, we'll just put out an EP, which was released on October 21.

The instrumentation is very theatrical and I was wondering what sort of process you used in writing those parts. Was it collaborative?

Before we started, we spent three weeks with really thorough emails back and forth-- I really liked the sound I had and I wanted to make sure to keep it. I told Davey that I wanted to sound like black and white, and I wanted it to sound famous and like Coney Island and like a sad party. And he wrote back, “I can do that! I understand that perfectly.”

How do you feel about how it came out?

I am pleased. The funny thing is, if it was exactly the way I wanted, then I would say that I am completely pleased, but because it's different than I expected, I'll be pleased if many other people like it too. I feel like a shithead saying that...but I hope it gets some kind of recognition just so that I can move on and do some different things.

What type of things would you move on to?

I always expect that once I do something, I'm going be able to transition into this better life, like maybe move somewhere else or get to know more people. Ideally, I would like to move back to a little part of New Jersey or Coney Island and have people to work with on little projects like music videos, because I do much better in a box. Performing is really, really hard for me, so I would just like to have more people and more money to do more sexy projects.

Sexy projects!

Yes, I just want to have something to do all the time-- and it's easier to do when people think you're great.

Where do you see a record like this being played?

That's a good question. I was sure that I knew, but I've been wrong. For instance, I've been singing recently at private parties for young Wall Street, and not so young Wall Street, and I'm surprised that they like the music. I guess that's not really a demographic though is it?

A recently unemployed demographic, but...

[Laughs] And I started singing at places in my hometown like the American Legion, and the friends I have here-- biker guy transplants from small towns. So maybe them too?

I thought it was really interesting that you use a lot of very feminine cultural signifiers with references to Daddy figures and pinup styles. At the same time, it feels modern because the narrator of the songs is very clearly the one in control. Do I understand it correctly?

I think you do. I guess my songs started being songs that I liked when I stopped being nervous about the content. I do like singing about “Daddy” and “baby”-- “Daddy” being the man and me being the “girl.” I didn't know that that had been such a prevalent theme in the Fifties, but now that I’ve listened to more music from that era, I see that it is. And I’m very relieved, because I don't want it to seem like I have a complex! But it's something I can't get over. I want to have a life where there's just one man in it, and I haven't found that.

But then in the song “Gramma Blue Ribbon Sparkler,” it seems your grandma is telling you that there will be one guy, and you respond that you want to be “the whole world's girl.”

That's funny. I mean, that was the last song we recorded and I already had the choruses, and I got to write the verses while I was living in a trailer in New Jersey. The best part of it was the light rail that ran from the Park to Hoboken. I wrote the verses on that, back and forth, because that’s the best view of the city. I think that was one of my happiest times, and I think that makes for happiness in the verses. And I remember telling my grandma, “I wish I could meet someone.” And she said, “When I was young, we didn't have the chance or the choice to try and see a lot of people-- you had to meet a man and that was kind of it-- but don't be afraid to meet everybody.” And I thought, you're the first person in my family who's ever made me feel like it’s okay to want to try and find the right thing.

Were you living in a trailer when you were making the record?

Yes. And I know how that sounds. But the fact is that I always thought it was a dream. It was the first place that was mine. And the people-- it's a real community. People decorate their homes.

Speaking of embellishment, it seems like style is very important to you and you have a very cohesive package in music and your look.

Well, wanting to have a defined life and a defined world to live in has been a lifelong ambition and desire for me, but it has changed a lot. Which is fine.

Now, it's very retro-inspired but modern, similar to the music.

A lot of the songs on this record came about because I didn't have a lot of exposure to all things cool, but now that I do, I just realize that I fit in perfectly. So I plan on just gratefully incorporating more of it.

Sounds very organic.

Yes, though now that I have been exposed to more, it's getting harder. I don't want it to feel like I'm copying anyone.

Did you ever read Tiger Beat magazine?

Tiger Beat? Like Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

Exactly! They always do quizzes about things people like, so I thought it would be fun to give you a little Tiger Beat style test!

Cool! That's a big deal.

Three things you always have with you.

Three things I always have with me… [rummages around in her bag and pulls out items.] A sparkle notebook. Lip liner. Cayenne pepper.

Cayenne pepper! Why?

When I get nervous, I put Cayenne pepper on my lips. It calms me down.

Best pickup line ever used.

It was something like, “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” I didn't get it at first and I was like, well no, but that's very nice.

Most embarrassing song on my iPod or generic MP3 player.

I would say a self-help audio-book.

Favorite food.

Coffee. And pie.

If you could kiss any celebrity, who would it be?

Oh that's good. Antony. From Antony and the Johnsons.

Describe yourself in three words.

Confused. Floral. And ah, odd?

I was expecting Hawaiian glam metal.

Oh, that too!

Originally published on indexmagazine.com.

[just-emerald-star]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE TOTAL DRAMA REBOOT (BOTH SEASONS)

WARNING: This post contains spoilers for both seasons of Total Dram's Reboot. Just as a head's up.

Since I never intend on discussing the series on my channel (at least not until it gets an official release in the US...thx for that WB/Max) I'll share my thoughts on the Total Drama Reboot (both seasons in context) here in detail. I'll be doing so through explaining my thoughts on the characters.

If you want my basic thoughts on both season first, here's the gist:

SEASON 1: Excellent from start to finish. Minus a few glaring issues the show has been known for (gross out jokes/fart jokes), it was absolutely phenomenal. A real & true breath of fresh air after a streak of shit seasons (not including Ridonculous Race <3) | 9.5/10

SEASON 2: This season had a lot to prove since it was gonna bring back the cast and we all know what happens when Total Drama insists on keeping characters longer than necessary. I was pleasantly surprised when they dodged a bullet and made a damn good second season with the cast. The new writing team has given this series a much-needed edge to put it back on the map. That said, some of the characters very clearly stayed on for too long or in one person's case...won the whole damn season. It suffered from keeping certain characters around for too long but it did give some (mainly my boi Caleb) some much needed screentime and development. | Gets a 8/10.

Now onto the character stuff.

First things first: Here's the tier list I made for the cast. It'll help as I explain myself per each placement.

Ok so let's start from the bottom and make our way to the top cuz I'd like to end this on a positive note.

No. Just. No Tier

Chase: Easily one of the most annoying characters in the entire show. I know that's the point, cuz he's a shitty influencer type who cares mostly about himself and the views. I totally get that. But that's ALL he was. We often saw him be a nuisance who cared more about himself or impressing Emma. I didn't laugh at him not once. He was just plain awful. And if that was the point, then good shit writers, I guess lol

Emma: Sadly she suffered from being attached to Chase. Her whole reason for being on the show was just connected to Chase. It was also the point for her but what gets me is that she was a tour de force outside of Chase's shadow. This was proven when she tried focusing on herself and was besties with Bowie. Those were glimmers of hope. And I was hoping she'd come back stronger post-S1 upon learning that Chase lied to her. But in the end, Emma was just...kinda there until she left.

Millie: Nah fam, I couldn't stand her. Started out fine enough and was fun to have around, but once she started moving forward in the game with Priya in the alliance, I started growing tired of her. I'm glad she started taking the game seriously but man oh man it was too late. Didn't need to see her in that finale, but she's lucky it was for the sake of reconciling with Priya. And the less said about her time in S2, the better. Just glad she left early.

Ripper: Fuck Ripper. He wasn't funny. He had a few good lines here & there but was just...not great. If you like him, that's cool. His relationship with Axel was admittedly adorable though. Not enough to make me like him but still cute nonetheless lol

WASTED POTENTIAL & MEH TIERS

Gonna combine these two since they have one character each in there.

Nichelle: Sweetie, I'm so sorry. We were all rooting for you. you were a victim of high expectations just by design alone. And it's a shame cuz you could've been great. You left in S1 so early & that hurt like hell. But then you came back swinging in S2 and kicked ass...until you fell for such a shitty tactic. Brilliant on Julia's part but fuck y'all for not giving Nichelle more time to shine.

Axel: I don't have much to say on her tbh. She was just kinda in the middle for me. She honestly would've been much higher if she wasn't dragged down by her lovey-dovey relationship with Ripper as S2 went on. Still adorable pairing tho. Glad she was around a bit more in S2 tho.

GOOD & GREAT TIERS

Wayne: I suppose I'll start with S2's winner. I love Wayne. He's a great friend & ally to Raj, on top of just being hella funny. Love what he was all about. Sadly, S2 didn't do him any favors. He was still the lovable goof we know & love but it felt like his IQ took a bit of a nosedive between seasons. And on top of that, IDK how tf he reached the finale over Raj. Again, I love Wayne. I really do. But him winning S2 was...a choice.

Zee: Funny af guy. Crazy how he got sent away for similar reasons twice. I don't have any critiques of the guy. He was funny everytime he was on screen. He's just good. Not great, but good. Loved him.

MK: This lady would've been a bit lower if I was only talking about S1. But the writers gave her a major glow up in S2. Seriously, her & Julia's friendship is some excellent TV. Seeing them work together and fuck around with everyone was fun to watch. She's never been a fave for me but I do appreciate having her around.

Damien: Oh honey, you were robbed. Damien was one of my faves from the beginning. Was hoping for more from him in S1 but realized he left at the perfect time, otherwise he would've gotten annoying af. S2 however...my man stepped the fuck up & I'm so damn glad. He was SO GOOD and he made merge. And then my heart broke when he got sent packing. I knew the moment he found that idol he was done for. He was gonna lose it. I hated it. He could've reached the finale.

MY FAVES TIER

Scary Girl: Scary motherfucker who had some of the best lines/moments throughout S1. I appreciated the writing for her in S2, even if it didn't quite stick the landing...that is, until she returned in the finale. She was back to her crazy self and I loved every minute of it. Entertaining character from start to finish.

Julia: Easily the second best antagonist in this reboot. One of the best surprises in the reboot. Holy shit, Julia was given all the good shit. Whether it was the writing or character moments, Julia basically delivered what I look for in villain in Total Drama. One thing that bitch is gonna do is find a way to win immunity by any means necessary and honey, she's a challenge beast in the right circumstances.

Priya: Ah yes, S1's winner. One of the best competitors in Total Drama. She was made for shit like this, as explained to us by her lol. I loved her in S1, cuz she was hella focused and stayed in the game despite being let down by Millie at every turn. Don't cross Priya y'all homegirl will win lol. S2 Priya was solid and I especially loved her budding relationship with Caleb, despite all the hiccups. She kinda lost her focus when Caleb came up but even that didn't entirely stop her from kicking ass. Also kudos to Total Drama & I having characters named Priya.

TOP TIER

Bowie: The baddest bitch out there. I've spoken at length about how I'd love to see more prominent queer black rep in mainstream media not centered around being punchlines or tragedy. And Total Drama delivered just that to me on a silver platter. Bowie is literally everything I was looking for in great queer rep. Best part? He was well-written. Dude was written perfectly from start to finish in S1. Every move he made was executed well. Even when he fumbled, he found a way back on top. His rivalry with Julia is perfection. His friendship with Emma was cute...wish they rekindled it. And of course his relationship with Raj was so damn cute. Speaking of Raj...

Raj: Y'all gave me not one but TWO queer POC in the same season?? And they ended up together??? Total Drama you're spoiling me! Raj is one half of the hockey bros. And he was my fave of the duo. Raj just kept surprising me as the show went on. When I realized he was gay, I screamed. Jaw dropped...I really thought Bowie would be the only one. So glad I was wrong. Similar to Wayne however, his IQ did drop a bit in S2 but it wasn't as bad compared to the former. I would've preferred him to reach the finale over Wayne. Raj v. Caleb v. Julia would EAT DOWN.

And finally...

Caleb: From a first boot to a literal king of the game. Caleb was one of the biggest surprises in the show and I'm so thankful he did the dam thing in S2. Seriously, Caleb could've been another one of the show's infamous first boot punching bags. He was the one I was cautiously optimistic about coming back for S2. What was he gonna do? Was he actually a threat as Bowie assumed? How will Caleb turn out character-wise beyond the good looks? All of that was answered and then some in the first ep of S2. He made a point to be a great asset to his team. He's the embodiment of the hot guy who's got a great balance of brain & brawn, while also being a very nice guy. I especially appreciated his whole thing with Priya. I was almost certain they were gonna reach the finale ngl lol. If there were ANY justice in the world, it would've been a Caleb v. Julia finale instead of what we got. But hey, at least he made it to the end. Biggest glow up from a Total Drama character.

Annnnd that's all I've got. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Share your own thoughts in the replies below. These are just my thoughts and I've been holding them in ever since S1 got leaked last year. With both seasons out, I just felt like it was time to finally speak on them since I had no plans to make a video. As I said, maybe I'll still make one if there's interest...but no promises.

Anyway, thx again for reading & until next time, peace out!

[thatshinobilife]

I’m almost too lazy to make this post because God it’s just so self explanatory but my loyalty to Temari runs too deep so here goes: 

They did exactly what I called they were gonna do and made her an over aggressive nagging house wive. This is why I complained over and over again three years ago when I saw they had moved her to Konoha because I KNEW someway somehow they were going to subject her character to this. They want her to be Yoshino 2.0 even though that’s NEVER been who she is because “lmao get it Shikamaru is just like his dad! Parallels!!”. They don’t take the time to think about how her character would actually react because none of that matters now - she exists solely to be Shikamaru’s wife. 

Some people are crying “abuse!” at what she did but I don’t really want to go there tbh. It’s very clear that in the Naruto universe things we find abusive are just par for the course. Calling out Temari in this instance would require we call out basically ever other female character which is not realistic. Domestic violence in Naruto is always played for laughs which is obviously fucked up but not something I think it’s fair to fault the characters for as we’re not intended to see it as abusive (even though realistically it is). No, what I really take issue with is the fact that being an overbearing and strict mother/wife is basically all Temari is given to do. 

This woman was born in one of the most fucked up situations of any character we see. He father was a walking human disaster, her mother was dead, and her youngest brother had a nasty habit of slaughtering anyone who looked at him the wrong way. She has always been strong and confident but throughout the series she softens considerably as she learns caring is not a weakness. She is a better diplomat than either of her brothers and remains calm and collected in even the tensest of situations. Her dynamic with Shikamaru has always been one of mutual respect and understanding which is what makes their relationship work so well (and IMO better than any of the canon relationships we got). Yes, Temari is a take no shit kind of person who probably WOULD chastise her son for his pitiful behavior - but not in the way we’re shown. In Boruto her parenting method basically amounted to “I’m just going to hit you and intimidate you until you get the picture and ultimately just end up listening to your cooler nicer wiser dad.” She doesn’t actually say anything of significance to Shikadai at all - that is reserved entirely for Shikamaru as he’s the influential one in their sons life. Temari is just there to be the ol’ ball-and-chain ~what a drag~ mom whose only dominion is the house she is confined to. THEN there’s the fact that Temari refusing to make dinner inevitably meant neither Shikamaru nor Shikadai could eat - as if a grown man could not make his own dinner and HAD to have his wife do it because it’s her domestic ~duty~. This is extra and dramatic but it actually makes me sick that they’re doing this to her. After everything she went through she would have something worthwhile to add to the conversation other than “bah you’re too easy on him I’m going to withhold meals to prove a point!!!”. She doesn’t treat her brothers like this and they’re consistently shown to value her opinion because her opinion is worth hearing.  Temari played a crucial role in Suna politics prior to the end of the series. She sat on the council and came with Gaara to all the kage summits/meetings. She was one of the best kunoichi in the series just brimming with potential and strength and ferocity. During the war I began to get annoyed with how much they were making her revolve around Shikamaru’s character because after a certain point basically all her dialogue was in relation to him. That’s when I knew things were about to take a hard left turn for shits-ville and boy was I right. In chapter 700 ALL we see her doing is sitting in a house chastising her son and serving her brothers tea before they head out to a kage meeting without her. We don’t get any indication that she’s still affiliated with Suna, hell we don’t even get any indication that she’s still a ninja. In the boruto manga/movie she doesn’t interact with her siblings ONCE and is not with them in the pit with all the other Kage/advisors. I was happy to see she still had her fan but other than that I left highly unimpressed. Now in the anime she is ONCE AGAIN pictured in a house, serving people drinks and nagging away as if that’s all she’s good for anymore. I know it was played as a joke but that’s exactly what makes me so mad - her character has become nothing more than a trope meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The nagging housewive angle truly is the lowest hanging fruit but studio peirrot really could not resist could they.

Nevermind the fact that it would have been way funnier had they subverted the whole “why did you marry such a strict woman” thing by having Shikadai side with his mom instead, saying something to the effect of “why did you marry such an unmotivated slacker”. Can we stop treating Temari like she’s just an overly aggressive loaded gun that’s just one mistep away from going off. I mean I genuinely love Shikatema but I do not think the Boruto anime understands Shikatema. Part of me still wishes they just hadn’t got together because they don’t actually feel like “them” when they’re portrayed like this. No one is being respected as a character. 

Anyway all this to say I’m basically done with the Boruto anime now. I might still watch the next couple of episodes because curiosity is gonna get the better of me but emotionally I have severed all connections. It just comes down to the fact that I cannot handle them so grossly mischaracterizing characters that I have loved since I was 11 years old. I actually don’t mind the new gen when they’re on their own but every damn time they show one of the original characters they manage to fuck them up in some way. We see it with Temari, with Naruto, with Yamato, with Sakura. Hell I can’t stand Sasuke and even I’m mad about what they did to him post chapter 699. I am never going to like the new gen characters more than the original cast so if watching Boruto means seeing them get completely decimated then I’m not gonna watch it. Simple as that. Naruto being an absent father is the worst crime but I have no doubt they’ll continue to top that in future episodes. 

[tuffdwightwest]

You Are My Best Friend Chapter 5

When they arrived back into the hall. Astrid and Heather had also returned and Tuffnut had quickly joined in telling stories that got most of everyone laughing. Snotlout stood away though still distracted and thinking over his feelings from earlier. Not just earlier but in general.

Even in their teen years growing up on the Edge. He had always been... fond of him. Perhaps even more then Ruffnut. Even flirting with Ruff he had always found Tuffs reactions kind of amusing. Plus the rivalry with Fishlegs had been fun. He thought about the other night though. Where Tuff said he didn't love Ruff. It was true... he didn't love Ruffnut. At least not like that.

But did that mean he loved Tuffnut? How long had he been harboring feelings for him?

"You seem distracted." Dagurs voice suddenly called. Jerking Snotlout out of his thoughts as he looked over at the Beserker king. Dagur was actually looking at him in a bit of concern but everyone else seemed to still be distracted with their own things. Which came at kind of a relief.

"Its nothing." Snotlout mumbled gaze immediately going back to Tuff which did not go unnoticed by Dagur.

"Oh, I know that look." Dagur stated.

"What? What look there was no look." Snotlout said hurriedly.

Dagur just hummed looking over at Tuff who was currently laughing whole heartedly. "He's not a bad choice honestly. Think he would be interested too. He gives off that... vibe." Dagur said.

"What vibe?" Snotlout questioned.

Before Dagur could answer though Hiccup called everyones attention. Dagur just squeezing Snotlouts shoulder before walking over to Hiccup as he thanked the Beserkers for their visit. Snotlout however found he had enough of socializing.

At least sober and seeing some mead next to him he didn't even care that it burned as he started to down it. Ignoring everything as he just focused on the hopefully blissful feelings it would give.

---------------------

Night fall was finally upon them as the night of partying started to come to a close. The mead had helped and the few others Snotlout drank afterwards. Meaning that he was plenty drunk throughout most of it. At one point he had stumbled outside to go piss when as he was returning he recognized Tuffnut. Sitting outside and just staring up at the moon. A troubled look on his face.

Against better judgement Snotlout stumbled towards the other. Practically falling into him. Not missing how it caused the other to jump but Tuff caught him anyway. "Whoa you're a few bottles down aren't you?" Tuff questioned. Helping steady Snotlout as Snotlout just sat down. Leaning against the twin as it just felt right.

"Yeah." He breathed out before breaking into a giggle. "Every'hing so swimmy." He mused. Tuff just gave him a small smile before looking back out at the entirety of Berk.

"I imagine." He flinched as he heard what sounded like a brawl start in the mess hall. Something that Snotlout caught and without filter immediately called him on.

"Y' so jumpy. What y' scared?" He teased.

Tuffnut just met his gaze for a moment before looking back inside. "I don't like it when people are drunk. It just... reminds me of bad things." He said cryptically holding onto his arms. "I honestly don't even like being drunk myself. I get too serious." He explained with an awkward laugh.

Snotlout just frowned. The energy felt different in this conversation. But he also felt like he couldn't keep up. His brain foggy and unable to focus. "Th'nk its funny." He just said instead.

Tuff just gave a small smile at that before getting to his feet. Holding out his hand and grabbing onto Snotlouts to lift him up. Snotlout gladly accepted the others hands leaning into him as he grinned. "I think you've had too much. You're practically on top of me." Tuff teased.

Snotlout though suddenly leaned all his weight on top of Tuff. Causing them both to fall. Snotlout standing over Tuff with a flirty grin. "Well I love being on top of you~" He teased. Looking down at the other.

Tuff still had an awkward smile on his face but as Snotlouts hand went to rest on Tuffs chest. He found his heart beating extremely fast. His whole body tensed. Neither of them moved at first, as if neither knew what to say. Without thinking though Snotlout suddenly leaned down pulling the other into a soft kiss.

Surprised by how soft the other was. Snotlout let out a happy moan as he attempted to deepen the kiss only to suddenly find him pushed away. Chastised he looked down at Tuff surprised to find tears in his eyes. Immediately concerned he cupped the others face for a moment. "Tuffy?" He questioned.

Tuff looked up at him as he said his name. "So you are aware it's me?" He asked a bit detached. Snotlout nodded not sure why Tuff asked that.

"Then why did y-" Tuff went to start again when Snotlout again just leaned down and kissed him. This time though he was pushed away much quicker and a whine escaped him.

"Stop it!" Tuff cried out. Kicking out from under Snotlout and getting up away from him. Immediately Snotlout grabbed his wrist though causing him to whip around and glare at the other. Snotlout just looked sad and confused though and perhaps that caused Tuff to soften even as he looked a bit wary.

"You're drunk Snotty. Maybe, I should take you back to your hut." He offered.

"Oh what we doin' there." Snotlout asked hopefully. Tuff laughed at that before reaching out and pulling the other to his feet. Being quick to stop him from leaning to completely on him.

"You are going to sleep and I'm probally going to go for a walk to forget this happened." Tuff admitted.

"Do y'u not like me? I really like y'. I thin' I want to be with y'. That always wanted t' be with y'." Snotlout admitted ruining it by again pushing past the little barrier Tuff made for himself. As he crushed the other against the stone. Rubbing against him with his obvious excitement.

Tuff for his self blushed but mostly just looked alarmed at the attention. "Get off." Tuffnut warned.

"Please. You are so soft and wa-" Snotlout didn't get to finish that sentence as suddenly Tuff reached out and decked the other hard. Enough to knock him out. Breathing heavily the twin looked down at the other. Not exactly meaning to knock him out but panicking due to the situation.

Bending down he pulled the other against his lap making sure he didn't badly injure him before sighing. "Maybe if you weren't blackout drunk I would have took you up on the offer." He admitted softly. Which was honestly part of the reason why he was resisting. Well that and he just despised drunk people. They were rude, pushy, got in your personal space and... reminded Tuff of him.

He wasn't the strongest and it would take a lot to drag Snotlout back to his hut. So getting up he found a wheelbarrel before bringing it over to Snotlout and lifting the other in. Wincing as he saw the bruise starting to form. Making sure he was secure though he just started to walk down the hill lost in his own thoughts.

So Snotlout for sure liked him. He wasn't so sure after the flight with Hookfang but this had proved it. Tuff though didn't know how he felt. Admittedly, he had had a crush on Snotlout. But it had started to fade after he kept not showing any interest. Even going after his sister which honestly had made Tuff quite jealous. So his old feelings about the boy had kind of faded. But after tonight and even a few nights ago. It seemed they were starting to return.

As they made it to his hut. He didn't see any of his family around which was kind of a relief. Spitelout wasn't the nicest man. Especially to Tuffnut. Having made his spite of the twin quite known. He had made it all the way to Snotlouts bed and resting the other on it. He tucked him in gently before smoothing back his hair.

Taking his helmet and setting it aside for him. Spotting a stuffie nearby he also grabbed that before handing it to Snotlout. Watching as he suddenly snuggled into it. Which was a good sign. Seemed he went straight from knocked out to asleep. He was viking, a drunk viking, Tuff expected nothing else. Hesitating for a moment after standing up he leaned down and kissed the other on the forehead. "We need to talk when you are clear enough to remember." He mumbled. Turning to leave only to spot Snotlouts mother watching him.

Eyes widening the two met gazes before Tuff muttered an apology and quickly left the others room. Moving quickly through the house and practically breaking into a run after he escaped the doorway. Once a good mile away from the house. He slowed down before sighing. Feeling tears threatening to fall again. Now that he was alone though he figured he didn't mind.

And collapsing the twin just let his emotions go.

Commissioned Piece by YumiKazahaya

[wanda-peitro-lorna-maximoff]

Chapter 4

Part one here:

_____________________________________

Morgana was 16 now. Itd been a year since her father Uther announced she would be of marrying age. At the very least of age to be promised to someone, and it was easy to say that Morgana was not pleased at all. Arthur had tried to sway their father, as gently as he could without angering him, but Uther wasnt having it. The old man was already confined to his room, sick beyond repair, and he 'had to make sure his children were taken care of.' It didnt matter how. It didnt matter if Arthur would be miserable as a young king, or Morgana miserable as a house wife; as long as they were taken care of. And that's when Morganas teen rebellion really kicked in. Everyone knew about it, Morgana would sneak out late, making it incredibly easy for anyone to find her going to see her latest 'crush' of the week. She didnt mind the gossip-- she even welcomed it. The one suitor who had been at the castle when he heard about her 'cheating' - which, for the record, the prince had only asked Uther to court her; never morgana herself- was absolutely mortified. And Morgana couldnt have been prouder. Gwen and Arthur were... reasonably a bit embarrassed, but they had about as much of a chance of stopping her as Uther did. And if Gwen was really being honest, she found it hilarious. All Morgana had to do was ask for a kiss from a fair lady and the busybodies in the castle would get to work.... unfortunately the more it happened the more Gwen and Arthur were less amused. Gueinivier couldnt quite put her finger on it but it made her stomach turn whenever she saw Morgana kissing some other lady... Arthur was more annoyed in general, in a brotherly way.

But today seemed different. A lot more relaxed... no one was giving her letters from princes' or kings, and no need to ask for more favors from the ladies in the town or working in the castle. The perfect day to get up to something with Morganas favorite people in the world... Gwen and Arthur. ... well, Gwen was definitely a favorite, arthur really got on her nerves a lot, but he was still her brother. So that's what brings us to the now. Gwen and Morgana walking through the forest in comfortable silence... Arthur had unfortunately been roped into another meeting with the king and the round table, so the two thought to make it a girls day. As they walked, Gwen couldnt help but let her mind wander, glancing over to Morgana... it was true, the Pendragon siblings were both very good looking. Anyone anywhere would love to be their king or queen... but gwen loved them beyond their looks. Morgana was mischievous, mysterious and bold. Arthur was strong, dependable and kind... the two put her head in a tizzy. But with Morganas.... escapades lately... she couldnt help but give the witch the cold shoulder. The secrets and kisses from other girls were funny and cute at first but now they had gotten a bit more frequent... a little more bold. And unfortunately, Gwen was far too good at hiding her true intentions because Morgana hadn't even noticed anything was wrong. Sure she had acted a little off at times but, times were strange now... with her fathers declining health and tensions on making sure Arthur was ready to be king...

... and then Gwen nearly jumped out of her skin. Her thoughts were so abruptly interrupted by a sudden presence that she let out a squeak in suprise. the suprise guest in question laughed at her reaction, along with Morgana.

Mab had been watching the two for a few minutes, waiting for a good moment to suprise them and drop from her place in the trees. "Hello you two." Mab put her arms around the girls. Admittedly it had taken her a while to accept Gwen even as an acquaintance. But what really sealed the deal for Mab was Gwen's pure, genuine fascination. Whenever she looked at magic and its byproducts her expression held nothing but amazement, wonder and fondness. And if anything, Mab wanted to keep amazing her, just to see that look on her face. It never failed to make her laugh. "I'm suprised you're both out today..." the princess trailed off, and Morgana groaned. "Its been absolute hell back at the castle." She rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders for emphasis, to which Gwen chuckled and shook her head. "They... that is, Arthur and Morgana... have had their hands full to say the least." Gwen further explained to Mab, who got a thoughtful look on her face before replying. "Sounds like you've come to the right place to decompress then." She winked at the girls before wordlessly leading the way further into the woods...

"Ahhhh...." Morgana sighed in relief as she sunk down in the fairy made hot spring. She didnt realize how much tension she was holding in her neck and shoulders until now, but the hot water was absolutely amazing on her muscles. All that running away from terrible princes, knights and responsibilities does a number on ones self she supposed... "Are you two done yet?? The waters going to get cold." Morgana called through the thick veil of greenery to Mab and Gwen, who were currently whisper fighting with eachother. Since neither girl was exactly ready for a suprise swim, Mab had let them borrow some of the stollen goods she... acquired as offerings in her woods. People who dont want to be kidnapped, killed, cursed or worse always left her a little something at the threshold of her home. And the few cloaks she'd acquired she allowed Morgana and Gwen to use... they were her least favorite anyway. But honestly, Mab didn't see *why* you needed to cover up around others while you swam, showered, bathed, etc. It was a completely foreign concept to her, but she got a kick out of the red faces from Morgana and Gwen she just told them both to hop in. "I cant just go in! What if its... not secure enough." Gwen gestured to the 'swim-suit' Mab fashioned for her. "Well, then itll fall off. What do you *think* would happen?" Mab hissed back at her sarcastically. "You'll be fine. Its not like she'd bite you.... well..." Mab had to reconsider that. Gwen shoved her arm and the faerie princess grinned. "Follow my lead." She said confidently, Gwen watching as Mab strutted out. She had her usual attire on. Not uncommon, since it looked like the plants that made up her base clothing were just a part of her; but the few nice touches of clothing or signs of humanization were gone.

She stopped at the far end of the spring before jumping in and swimming over to Morgana with ease. "Come on Gwen." Mab said impatiently, and Morgana shouted after her. "Sooner you get here the sooner we can play water games!"

Gwen took a deep breath. Be brave. Just like them. She rolled her shoulders and closed her eyes, calming herself down before opening them again, now with new determination. Her nerves wouldnt get in the way of this rare day off. So, she took off running... and dove into the water. She could hear Mab and Morgana clapping and laughing above, swimming over to them now as she breached the surface. "That was amazing!" Morgana said with a big grin. "One things for sure we've got to do that together-- just... neyoooommm... " she put her fist in the water suddenly, making a splash. "See how big a splash we can make..."

"Well. One things for sure, the fun is only just beginning." Mab gave them a mischievous smile.

The fun was officially in full swing. Mab had invited a few fresh water sirens to come play a guessing game with them, and it only escalated from there.

Some of the river nymphs were playing as a referee for the games going on; some of the kelpies at the bottom of the hot-water would sing while a few of the fae would try and guess what they were singing. Some of the sirens were playing a competitive diving game with their treasures; bits of bone, a pearl or two. Whoever got to it first kept it. Which, without supervision quickly devolved into a bloody fight. A few of the not-so-water-resistant creatures were having loads of fun just on the shore, making flower crowns for any winners and not so subtly trying to help the contestants who they thought were the cutest. Morgana had joined Gwen in the kelpy game, since the creatures had a tendency to drag any losers down underwater and drown them... but Gwen was doing suprisingly well. Morgana was only a little bit jealous. Mab had split from the girls briefly to compete with the sirens, winning a few games and rejoining her friends once she had enough trophies of victory. They came to sit with eachother at the edge, all three of them smiling to themselves and basking in the fun. "So. How's your day off been?" Mab asked them with a grin. "Well considering Gwen's won more games than I... I'd say not so well." Morgana joked, making Gwen laugh. "Well, I can give you some pointers next time." She winked and nudged Morgana with her elbow; making Morgana blush just a little. "Well. Either way you both look just about ready to join the sirens with the way you're pruning up there. Let's get you two dry." Mab hopped out of the 'pool' and shook herself dry a bit. "Okay *mom* " Morgana teased as Gwen and her followed. "No you pronounced it wrong. Its MAB." Mab corrected her. Morgana wasnt super sure if she was being serious or not, but it didnt matter. Mab lead them to a closed off area where she stashed the twos clothing. "Once you're dressed we can do some land-games." Mab winked at them, squeezing out her hair. Gwen and Morgana went over and grabbed their clothes as Mab got some cloth to help dry them. The fae girl allowed them both a screen of ivy and vines to get dressed in a bit of privacy...

Today was... something else. Gwen couldnt remember the last time shes had this much fun. The amazing wonders around her filled her head with dreams and her heart with hope and longing for adventure... discovering more and finding things no ones ever seen before... but only if it was with her friends. As cliche as it was... she wanted Morgana... Arthur, even Mab there with her. Wherever the road took her. They completed her in a way she could never have imagined. She wanted to be there for them. Just as they would for her... Gwen had many friends as a child. But when her family moved to Camelot, all of it was ripped away from her. She wondered sometimes... if they thought of her. But the Pendragons and this magical world... took the heartache away.... but... recently? With Morgana..? The heartache returned... no it wasnt the same as before. No force on earth could take Morgana away from her. No, the heartache wasnt one of sadness... it was longing. So similar but so different. The heartache that belonged to Morgana was one that was bitter-sweet. Whenever she looked at her it was the feeling of coming home to a warm fire and sweet fruit.

So then... why did the thought of being with Morgana... hurt at the same time?

..she knew the answer. Arthur. She loved arthur just as she loved Morgana. And yet... not. They were so different but she loved them all the same. The kind of love she'd want to come home to and kiss before bed every night.... Arthur and Morgana... were her love.

Meanwhile, Morgana got dressed. Nothing in particular was on HER mind. No... but something was on Mabs...

The faerie peaked her head through to Morganas side. Seeing she was infact decent. Mab had been infatuated with Morgana for a long time. She'd known it in her gut. Shes told so many of her friends and they all dismissed it as wanting a pet. And shes seen fae have human pets... the feeling wasnt the same. For them It was control... dominance and cruelty. But Mab wanted Morgana for the very reason just to love her. When she thought about kissing Morgana her heart raced, when she thought about curling up with her, going to bed and waking up to see her face everyday... it made her heart hurt with how much she wanted that. Real love...

"Morgana." Mab began... there was a pause. "... Mab?" Morgana questioned her. She looked incredibly suspicious... was this the start of some prank? "I..." Mab stepped further in. "Wanted to tell you something." She crossed her arms loosely. Mab had never actually planned this part out. She always figured that somehow, someway, she'd just sweep Morgana off her feet and Morgana would have no choice but to practically marry her on the spot!.... but this was definitely not how things were going to go. Morgana was... difficult to really wow, or 'sweep feet'. "... okay." Morgana narrowed her eyes at the faerie, getting ready for some sort of prank or attack of some kind... Mab walked closer... and awkwardly put her hand on Morganas shoulder... and came in closer... until the side of her face touched the side of Morganas... okay so maybe it wasnt 'telling' her anything... Mab didnt even know if she could say the right words... but she hoped and metaphorically prayed that Morgana understood.

She did. It was an intimate gesture. Mab trusted her... to turn her face to her and keep her close; faces touching just slightly. This was big... and Morgana couldnt help the huge suprised grin that spread across her face. Off and on throughout their friendship she's thought about it-- being with Mab. Theres no doubt that they got along and shared so many things in common, but she never even dreamed that Mab would come to her first. And like this.

Mab slowly pulled away. Looking reserved and guarded, waiting for Morganas reaction... still hopeful she understood, and accepted. "So... you like me?" Morgana asked with her grin. Mab looked just a little insulted at that. "Of course I like you! What do you think I am? An idiot? It would be stupid of us not to court! We love the same things, we're already so close and we-" Mab was cut off by Morgana kissing her on the cheek. "Ah yes. How could I argue with such air tight logic?" She asked sarcastically. Mab was completely frozen for a moment. "Is that a yes?"

Morgana smiled. "Does this answer your question?" She pulled Mab back in and kissed her. The faerie could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She pulled Morgana as close as she could, and kissed her back... unbeknownst to them, the screen Mab created was falling apart into beautiful wild flowers to reveal the scene to Gwen...

When Gwen saw the two... she felt like she was going to vomit. Not out of disgust. Never. But she never thought that seeing her secret love and good friend kissing could break her heart so much... she just stood there. Frozen.... until Morgana noticed. And she laughed.

"Wow. Look at miss queen of the fae... cant control her plants when shes kissing." Morgana teased Mab, who was now red in the face, looking around to see Gwen and of course... no screen of greenery. "A-um- i- I can control them! I can do... anything!" Mab argued. Morgana laughed. "Does that include making your face go as red as my hair?" She asked. And honestly... in the moment... gwen couldnt help but laugh along..... it was better than being heart broken.

[astudyinfreewill]

One of Adam's firsts? Something he didn't have the chance to do as a kid because his dad thought it was a waste of time or money? Adam's first petting zoo/Aquarium? Adam's first amusement park? Adam's first, uh, airplane ride/vacay out of Virginia?

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Ronan says, cautiously. Ronan is hardly ever cautious, which makes Adam feel even worse.

“It’s fine,” he replies flatly, drying his palms on his jeans. Ronan, as always hyper-aware of Adam’s hands, gives him a skeptical look.

“I can see that. Listen, it’s not too late to cancel.” 

Adam can tell both that Ronan doesn’t want to cancel, and that he would in a heartbeat.

“It is too late to cancel,” he says stubbornly. “We would lose the money.”

“I’m not exactly terrified, Parrish.”

Adam throws him a withering glance. “Some of us don’t have the ability to just dream up checks.”

Ronan shrugs. It’s not real, this sparring, Adam knows that, even though only a year and some change ago it would have devolved into an absolutely real and ugly fight. The calculated insolence in the set of Ronan’s shoulders means he’s putting on an act, pushing Adam’s buttons with the spoilt Aglionby prince attitude, in an effort to distract him from his nerves. Adam is a little awed – both at Ronan’s strange brand of thoughtfulness and at their ability to read each other so well. He guesses dating for a year will do that.

A year. He can hardly believe it. And yet they’ve lasted this long, in spite of demons, hit men, and the various obstacles of long-distance relationships. And that’s why they’re here, at an airport, waiting to board a flight to Paris for their first anniversary. Paris, of all places. That’s something else Adam can’t believe.

It was Ronan’s idea, because for all his barbs and sharp edges, he’s a hopeless romantic at heart, even if he’d deny it to his last breath. They’d been lying in bed, limbs tangled as sweat dried on their bodies, Adam’s fingers tracing the hooks and claws of Ronan’s tattoo, Ronan’s face buried in the crook of Adam’s neck.

“You’re a menace,” Ronan had said, non-sequitur.

“Oh?” Adam smiled.

“Yeah. You are. You make me absolutely fucking stupid.”

“Stupid how?” Adam asked, lips teasing the shell of Ronan’s ear, enjoying the resulting shudder.

“Stupid like—I want to do all sorts of mushy stuff for you. Buy you flowers and shit.” Neither of them bothered to mention that for all the times they’d woken up to a bed full of dreamt petals in every color of the rainbow, Ronan might as well have bought him a whole flower shop. “Write you songs. Take you to stupid Paris and kiss you on the stupid fucking Eiffel tower.”

Ronan’s face was resolutely buried in Adam’s neck, but it was easy to tell he was blushing furiously, his cheek hot against Adam’s throat. Adam’s heart was doing funny things in his chest.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I know. It’s a damn cliché. I said it was stupid.”

Adam didn’t think it was stupid. His life had been so bleak until he’d found them – Ronan and Gansey and Blue and Cabeswater and Persephone and Opal and magic – so utterly devoid of poetry, that romantic clichés had never really been an option. Between school, work, and avoiding his father, he didn’t have time to worry about much else aside from his next meal or stealing an extra hour of sleep. And yet there was part of him – the part of him that had sent Blue flowers, the part of him that had made Cabeswater play music for Ronan – that deeply longed for romance. But possibly even more overwhelming was the idea that Ronan wanted to give him that kind of stuff – that he thought Adam was worth being romantic over.

He ran through a few quick calculations in his mind, unable to completely shut off his rational side even with his heart beating unsteadily against his ribs. He had time off from school, and a part-time job at the library that paid well. It could work.

“We could go to Paris,” he said, trying for offhanded and missing by half a mile.

Slowly, Ronan lifted his head to look at him. “Are you messing with me?”

“I’m not!” Adam protested. “I’ve never been to Paris.” Which Ronan knew, because, well – Adam had never been out of Virginia, period.

“I thought you were terrified of flying,” Ronan pointed out.

“I’m not terrified,” Adam argued, his ears going slightly warm. “I just don’t like it.”

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of the point. I don’t want us to celebrate our first year together by doing something that you’re not going to enjoy. You don’t have to go along with it just because I want to.”

Adam shot him an unimpressed look. “And based on what you know of me, how likely am I to do something I don’t want to do just to please other people?”

Ronan laughed and kissed him. “Not very, you beautiful bastard.”

“Exactly.”

Ronan shook his head, still smiling in a slightly awed way. “Are you sure?”

Adam’s mind conjured up images of beautiful buildings he’d only seen in movies, of old monuments and new discoveries and adventure; he thought of walking with Ronan along the riverfront of the Seine at night, and kissing him in the soft glow of old streetlights.

“I’m sure.”

And he was. Present Adam, however, thinks Past Adam is a sentimental idiot and loathes him deeply. He dries his hands on his jeans again, leg jiggling nervously.

“Look, Parrish. It’s going to be fine. I’m going to hold your gross sweaty hand and everything.”

“Oh, wow, Lynch, that’s so generous of you. I mean, especially considering how much you hate holding my hand under normal circumstances,” Adam retorts dryly.

Ronan has the good grace to concede the point, but Adam is too nervous to even feel smug about it.

“Last chance to turn back, Parrish.”

“No,” Adam insists. “I really want to go.” And he does, despite how miserable he feels now. “Besides, Gansey would never forgive us. He dragged Blue and Henry there all the way from Iceland just so we could hang out on Saturday.”

Ronan rolls his eyes, but the mention of Gansey seems to remind him of something. “Hey, you know this is not going to be as bad as the helicopter, right?”

“…No?” Adam hates how small his voice sounds, but really, how would he know? He’s never been on a plane before.

“No,” Ronan smiles, “it’s much more stable. And nowhere near as loud. Plus, you won’t have to worry about Gansey’s sister kidnapping you or something.”

Adam scoffs at the ridiculous (but still admittedly flattering) notion of Helen’s interest in him, but he feels relief edge its way in, easing the knots in his stomach. Before he has time to start worrying again, they’re boarding.

Ronan, true to his word as ever, holds his hand as they taxi down the runway (“Nothing’s happening yet, Ronan.” “Shhh. I’m being supportive,” Ronan grins, pulling Adam’s hand into his lap). He doesn’t even complain when Adam nearly crushes his fingers as the engines fire up and they hurtle towards the sky.

Adam actually knows a lot about the mechanics of planes, because he likes knowing how things work. He’d gone on an extra research binge after they’d booked their tickets, thinking that understanding the hows and whys of aircrafts and flight would ease his anxiety, except he’d only ended up making himself more aware of all the ways things could wrong.

But then.

Then he looks out of the window, and just like that, he stops thinking of science and engines, of lift and thrust and gravity, and for a blessed, magical moment, all he feels is wonder.

He stares at the tiny buildings and trees underneath, at the clouds close enough to touch. The world is gradually fading away below them, and sure, Adam will never like being suspended mid-air – he’s an earthly creature, made of touch and practicality, likes having his feet on the ground and his hands busy – but right now, as the plane gently rocks up and to the side, he feels as light as a cloud himself.

Because he’s flying, and Ronan is holding his hand; because he never ever has to go back to the trailer park, because he saved himself; because Ronan loves him, and Adam finally believes himself worthy enough of it to love him back, and they’re going to Paris.

Adam is flying, and he’s not afraid.