#like that's what he was doing. he showed up so he could convince people they were wrong

[heartmix]

Come To The Game - Joe Burrow

Pairing: Joe Burrow x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k+

Warning: lying to parents, hopelessly in love best friends

Twelve Fics of Christmas - Christmas Game

A/N: this is really all over the place, i had no clue where i wanted it to go and had no clue how to end it.

Masterlist / NFL Masterlist

America's favorite sport, football. America's favorite time to celebrate while watching sports, holidays, specifically Christmas. It was a tradition in your family to spend Christmas day watching football and eating food, much like your Thanksgiving tradition. After opening presents everyone would gather in the living room to watch whatever game was playing. 

This year was a bit different. For one your parents and siblings would be traveling to Cincinnati to spend Christmas with you. The appeal of snowfall and wanting to be in a new place for the holidays was enough to convince them. What really sealed the deal was that you got them Christmas Day tickets to watch the Bengals vs Steelers. Well, Joe got them for you. It took days of convincing from him to let him do this for you and your family. 

"This is perfect. We'll finally be together in the same place for Christmas. I have my parents up in the family box so why not have your family meet mine?" He made a case knowing how badly you also wanted to go see them on Christmas day, it would also be your first Christmas game. 

"Joe I know how much tickets are for games, but I can't phantom how much holiday games cost." 

"You don't seem to care about the price when you're at every game." He smirked making you groan as his argument. He had a point, you never turned down a game for as long as you knew him. 

"I hate you." You mumbled out as soon as he sent you the tickets for the game. 

With a big smile, he said, "I know." 

Game day rolled around fast. Since the Bengals were the first game of the day everyone woke up extra early to get ready and meet at the stadium before the traffic was too bad. Everyone came to an agreement to wait till tonight to open presents. You were yet to tell them it would be at Joe's house with his family. 

After greeting a few security guards and workers you knew, one of the Bengals assistants walked you guys up to the family suite making your once loud family quiet. They were suspicious you were friendly with the staff, but being led to the suite silenced them completely. 

"Honey, please tell me you didn't spend millions for these seats." Your mom's voice rang as she took in the suite. It was decked out with fancy seating, buffet tables, and tv's on every corner. 

This is why you were nervous and hesitant about Joe inviting them to the game. There might have been a few details you forgot to tell them. One of them being that you knew the Bengals Quarterback. Joe has been your best friend since he got signed to the Bengals. He met you while exploring the town and you offered to show him what you knew after being there for years to attend university. 

"Umm-" Before you could respond a voice called out for you. Turning around you found it was Joe's mom who was waving you over to where you guys would be sitting. 

"Robin! Hi!" You embraced the woman despite seeing her just a few days ago when you and Joe picked them up from the airport. 

"Hi, sweetie." Joe's dad greeted you next and you gave him the same warm hug you gave Robin. 

"This is my parents, brother and sister. Guys this is Robin and Jim." You introduced everyone, them taking time to greet and hug each other. 

"It's so great to finally meet you guys, your daughter is just an angel." Robin went on to your parents who still had confused faces. 

"This is Joe's parents." Clarifying your confused family. 

"Burrow?!" Your brother asked a bit too loud for your liking, like there weren't other people in the suite, mainly the player's families. 

"Yeah, the quarterback." 

"How the hell do you know Joe Burrow?" Your dad's face was in shock, it was hard to surprise the man so seeing that reaction scared you. 

"Umm since his first year of being on the team." 

"Well, we have to thank him for this then." He put two and two together that you probably didn't spend money on these at all. 

"Good thing you'll be spending Christmas night with us!" Robin said with a big smile ignoring that you didn't tell your parents about her son. She didn't mind at all, thinking you didn't want to flaunt Joe around. 

The look your mom gave you was one of 'we are going to talk when we get in the car' One you weren't looking forward to. There was never once you hid something from her, especially your friend group. 

"Ooooh, youuu in troubleee." Your little sister said making you roll your eyes and push her head to sit down. 

The game went great. Once it started it was like your parents forgot about you lying to them and cheered for the Bengals. The game was electrifying with the Bengals scoring numerous touchdowns eventually getting them the win. When the game ended all of you made your way down to the locker room, per Joe's request. Inside you were panicking, you were praying your dad and brother didn't make any snarky comments, not about Joe but about the circumstance. 

Slowly the players made their way from the locker room to their families, or rushing to get home to see them. When Joe came out he spotted you all instantly. Hugging his parents first he moved on to you with a big smile. Forgetting about everyone for a second you engulfed him with a big hug to the point he lifted you off the ground. 

"Congrats superstar." You smiled as he placed you down. 

"Aren't you glad you came." he teased and at that, you remember your family was here. 

"Guys, this is Joe. Joe this is my family." You stepped aside to present Joe to your folks watching on nervously at the interaction. 

"It's great to finally meet you guys." He smiled at everyone not sure how to properly greet them. 

"I would say it's nice to finally meet you too but we had no clue you guys knew each other." Your dad said but immediately pulled him into a hug like he knew the dude for years. 

"Very nice to meet you honey." Your mom greeted pulling him into a hug also. 

"How did my sister pull you?" Your brother asked making you and Joe go red. There was that snarky comment. 

"We're not dating." You mumbled which caused eyebrows to be raised from your family. 

"Shall we go? I'm cooking dinner tonight!" Robin's voice broke the tension in the air. Thank god for her knowing social cues. 

"Oh great! we can help." Your mom said referring to the both of you. 

The drive to Joe's house was awkward, to say the least. It was filled with you trying not to crash the car as your family interrogated you about Joe and the sudden relationship, or lack thereof. Your dad and brother question about how you two became so close while your mother questions why you hid it from everyone. Bless your sister for being too young to care about you not mentioning Joe, being content with her iPad games.  

"Look I'm sorry okay, I just didn't want to flaunt that I knew him. Can we be civil for tonight because it's Christmas, I don't want you guys mad at me for this today." You begged turning off the car when you were in Joe's driveway. 

"Sorry sweetie, we'll be good." Your dad reassured planting a kiss on your forehead before everyone agreed. 

With being over so often you opened the door like you lived there. You saw Joe and Jim already in the living room watching the second football game of the day while you assumed Robin was in the kitchen preparing to cook. 

"There you guys are!" Jim's voice rang through making you smile. 

"Come watch with us." Joe's charming smile said as your dad and siblings didn't hesitate to find a seat. Joe found your eyes pleading with you to sit next to him. You looked over to your mom who gave you a look of 'I know you love football but you are crazy if you think you're not helping in the kitchen.' she's right and you know she raised you better than that. 

"I'm gonna help in the kitchen, hope it's a boring game." You winked over to Joe and Jim making the older man laugh. For a second you saw a flicker of disappointment in eyes before he stood up to follow you. 

"I'll help you guys." 

For the better half of 2 hours, you, Robin, your mom, and Joe slaved away in the kitchen. There were moments when there would be cheers from both of your dads making your and Joe's head pop up trying to get a glimpse of what was going on. Every so often the two moms would give each other looks. Robin knew that ever since she met you, Joe was head over heels for you. Your mother despite finding out about Joe today knew you cared for him on a deeper level. 

"Why don't you two go watch the game, we got the finishing touches here."Robin's voice broke the two of you away from peaking into the living room. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah. Go cool off." Your mom said this time and it wasn't a second later that Joe was pulling you away to flop onto the empty two-seater. Jim was used to this action by the both of you but your dad and brother looked over with eyebrows raised. 

"I forgot to say this but thank you for today, despite them being weird." You whispered making sure not to interrupt those who were watching the game. 

"You don't have to thank me, I wanted you there." He smiled pulling your legs onto his lap so that he could rub calming circles into your calf knowing you were stressed about today. 

"Still, It's been great having you in my life." Both of you just smiled and stared into the other's eyes. Both of you were so caught up with each other like it was just the both of you in the room. Nothing else was as important as the both of you being in each other's arms. 

"I really wanna kiss you." He mumbled catching you off guard. Did you mishear him? 

"What?" 

"You heard me." He smirked loving the reaction he was getting from you. He couldn't help it. The way you were looking at him with loving eyes and being so close to him, how could he not want to kiss you? 

"If you really want to." With your final approval, he leaned in, grabbing the side of your bringing your face closer till he felt your lips meet. Butterflies erupted in your stomach making you smile into the kiss. 

"YOU GUYS ARE DATING!" the loud voice of your brother broke the both of you away from the kiss. Looking over to the group of people each of them had different reactions. Your brother had his jaw hanging on the floor, your dad was confused at what he had just witnessed, and Jim who had a smirk. 

"I guess we are." You heard Joe say from beside you. Wiping your head over to him you saw the goofy smile on his face. Today just sealed the deal that he wanted to spend his days and nights with you. 

"We are?" Shocked was an understatement. Sure you both just shared your first kiss, but you didn't think it would move into a relationship immediately after. 

"Yeah, I've been wanting to do that since you came to your first game." He confessed. It was cute to see him like this and you wouldn't mind dating him if you got to see that goofy smile more. 

"Well Merry Christmas, your gift is me." 

"Best gift ever." He smirked before leaning in for another kiss. 

[satsugacafe]

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐒/𝐎

➳❥ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: Grimmjow, Starrk, Ulquiorra

➳❥ 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: Hello! Can I have a request? How would Starkk, Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra adjust to a human world with human s/o?

➳❥ 𝐀/𝐍: I had too much fun with this piece lol. Enjoy!

➳❥ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭: How they adjust to living in the human world with you.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Coyote Starrk

↬ Starrk found the human world baffling, mainly because of how noisy everything seemed compared to Hueco Mundo. Car alarms, the hum of electricity, and people chatting endlessly in cafes had him constantly muttering, “Do humans ever shut up? Where is the off switch?”

↬ He had a lazy charm that worked in his favour. He would somehow manage to get free samples from the bakery down the road just by looking mildly interested. “You know, this human world isn’t so bad when they hand out food for no reason.”

↬ Teaching him to use modern appliances was a trial. He once accidentally turned the vacuum cleaner on full blast and almost blasted himself through the wall. “This thing’s alive, isn’t it?”

↬ He was a natural with animals, though. Dogs adored him, and he could walk into a park and have a pack of strays following him within minutes. You joked he was assembling a canine fracciones.

↬ He had an odd fascination with pigeons. He’d sit on park benches for hours, watching them mill about, occasionally throwing them crumbs. “They’re like tiny, less annoying Lilynettes. I like them.”

Cooking became a mild obsession for him once he realised how much variety the human world offered. You caught him watching cooking tutorials on your phone. “Why do they all say, ‘easy recipe’ when this involves twenty steps and an oven I barely understand?”

↬ He was incredibly protective in the human world, though it didn’t show in dramatic ways. He’d keep you on the safe side of the pavement, steer you away from crowded areas, and shoot deadly glares at anyone who even glanced at you wrong. “Humans don’t know their place sometimes. Annoying, really.”

↬ He once tried going grocery shopping alone and came back with entirely the wrong things. You asked for bread and milk; he brought back jam and six bags of crisps.

↬ You introduced him to Netflix, and he became addicted to crime dramas. He liked to critique the criminals’ plans. You also caught him talking to your cat one afternoon, a very serious conversation about naps. “Listen, furball, if you don’t appreciate a good nap, what’s the point of life?”

↬ He was baffled by your human obsession with coffee. One morning, after trying it for the first time, he leaned back, his eyes narrowing at you. “So you willingly drink this dirt water every day?”

↬ Every time you mentioned going to work, he’d dramatically throw himself across the doorframe. “No. Stay. Your world’s already loud enough—don’t leave me to suffer alone.”

↬ Sleeping in the human world was oddly peaceful for him. He would stretch out on your sofa, claim half the bed without meaning to, and casually drape an arm over you. Just don’t let him sleep on a water bed. Worst sleep of his life.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

↬ The feral kitty cat was convinced humans were weaklings until you took him to a gym. He ended up challenging some poor bloke to a weightlifting contest, won, and then complained it wasn’t a fair fight. Eventually, exercising was his idea of fun. He got addicted to the gym, showing off during pull-ups or weightlifting. “You watching? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

↬ Adjusting to technology was a nightmare. He refused to admit he didn’t know how to use a phone and kept swiping at the screen like he was challenging it to a fight. “Why doesn’t it do what I tell it to? Stupid thing.”

↬ He got into trouble almost daily. One time, he scared a street performer by growling when they asked for a tip. You had to stop him from picking fights with random joggers. “What? They were staring too long. Looked like they wanted a challenge.”

↬ You tried teaching him how to cook, but he turned it into a battle. “Fire’s too weak. How do you even boil water in this thing?” He ended up burning toast and proudly declaring it a success.

↬ He was surprisingly good with kids, though he’d never admit it. Once, a group of kids challenged him to a game of football in the park, and he got way too into it. You had to stop him from trash-talking a ten-year-old. “What? They need to toughen up!”

↬ Animals adored him, which annoyed him to no end. Dogs would trot up to him on walks, wagging their tails. “What’s your deal? Go away!” But you caught him sneaking them pats when he thought you weren’t looking.

↬ Grimmjow got jealous easily in the human world. If anyone flirted with you, he’d casually stand behind you with his arms crossed, glaring like an angry kitty ready to pounce. “They can look somewhere else unless they want trouble.”

↬ You introduced him to video games, and he was instantly hooked. He preferred fighting games and made it his mission to beat you every time. “Don’t hold back, or I’ll make you regret it.” When he finally lost, he pouted for hours.

↬ He mocked human horror films relentlessly. “This is supposed to scare you? I’ve seen Hollows scarier than that guy with the knife.”

↬ He hated wearing human clothes at first and complained endlessly about jeans (like those skinny jeans Urahara gave him lol). “These things are like a prison for my legs!” Eventually, he settled for hoodies and track pants, which he grudgingly admitted were “not bad.”

↬ Going out to eat was chaos with him. He’d order the spiciest thing on the menu just to prove he could handle it, then spend the rest of the meal pretending his face wasn’t red. “I’m fine. This? This isn’t hot at all.”

↬ He did love human food but refused to admit it. “What’s this crap? Tastes alright, I guess.” Yet you caught him hoarding spicy crisps and chugging fizzy drinks like they were going out of style.

Ulquiorra Cifer

↬ The fourth Espada treated the human world like a scientific experiment, observing everything with quiet fascination. You once caught him staring at a vending machine for ten minutes before he asked, “How does it decide what to give you?”

↬ He doesn’t understand the need for human social practices, like small talk. When someone greeted him with, “How are you?” he replied, “That is irrelevant,” and walked away, leaving you to apologise.

↬ He had an unexpected knack for blending in. His quiet demeanour and neutral expression made him oddly suited to working in your local library. The librarian adored him for his efficiency, though he refused to smile at patrons. “They do not need my emotions to find a book.”

↬ He doesn’t understand sarcasm at all. When you joked about him being a terrible flatmate, he replied, entirely serious, “Then perhaps I should leave.” And then proceeded to depart.

↬ Was very baffled by human food. You once handed him a chocolate bar, and he stared at it like it was a piece of alien technology before taking a cautious bite. “This…is acceptable.” But no spicy food, please.

↬ He was deeply confused by human emotions. Once, you cried watching a sad film, and he frowned. “Why are you leaking from your eyes over something fictional?”

↬ He adapted to human clothes surprisingly well, favouring monochrome outfits that matched his Espada uniform. You teased him about looking like a model, and he replied, “If that is how humans perceive me, it is irrelevant.”

↬ Ulquiorra had a habit of silently appearing behind you, scaring you half to death. When you yelled at him, he tilted his head and said, “If your reaction is fear, then perhaps your spiritual awareness is lacking.”

↬ He found rain fascinating. One evening, you found him standing on the balcony, staring at the sky as water drenched him.

↬ Despite his stoic nature, he had a protective streak. Once, a stranger got too close to you, and Ulquiorra stepped in, his gaze cold. “You are intruding. Leave.” The stranger bolted without another word.

↬ He often left you cryptic compliments. When you asked if he liked spending time with you, he’d say, “Your presence is…not unpleasant. That is sufficient, is it not?”

↬ He found the human world illogical but not without value. One night, as you both watched the stars from your balcony, he quietly admitted, “You humans…are fragile, yet endure. It is strange.”

©satsugacafé 2024: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.

[lqveharrington]

Hi, congrats on 2k! I was wondering if you could write Spencer Reid with Clean? Maybe something like Spencer got done with a bad case and is thinking about using but then reader helps him. Thanks!

Clean | S.R.

summary: When Spencer comes back from a bad case, you help him as best as you can; especially when his thoughts wander back to an unpleasant time in his life.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

includes: angst, fluff, addiction, drugging, talks about death, crying,

a/n: i love me some spencer reid 💛 (rules for celebration here!)

As a behavior analyst for the BAU in Quantico, it was your sole purpose to evaluate and look into potential criminals' mindsets. At first, you were hesitant to take the job they offered to you – not wanting to deal with so much pain in life. To your luck, they countered with an office job to manage the data collected by the agents who flew out to deal with the cases face to face instead. You were surprised to hear that they really wanted you on their team. Maybe it was because you took all the psychology classes in high school, or perhaps it was all TV shows you watched just to figure out how they ended in the first episode, but after much convincing by your family, you took the job.

It took adjusting and many days of learning everyone’s name before you could get comfortable with the people you worked with. Especially the team that went out for the cases.

Gideon and Hotch — and eventually Rossi — always scared you just a bit, but you learned they cared for you like a daughter. Emily, Penelope, and JJ loved you more than their job. They always hung back with you whenever they had spare time. Derek did his best not to tease you with how young you started working with the BAU, but soon realized how similar you and Spencer were. Ultimately calling you pretty girl in comparison to Spencer's pretty boy.

When you first met Spencer, you swore you both awkwardly froze and avoided each other until JJ forced the both of you to get along. It wasn't like you disliked him — it was the opposite. You only began to get closer to Spencer when he would bring you hot chocolate every day because of the one time he bumped into you and spilled your drink all over the floor.

Eventually he did ask you out on a date and the rest became history.

You even helped him get clean when the incident happened years ago. That case made reality sink in quickly, especially when you got the emergency call from JJ in Atlanta, Georgia. That was the closest you had ever come to joining the traveling team.

Over the years, you made sure to keep Spencer in check. It scared you to even think about him going back to addiction. Yes, he handled tough cases, but he always knew you were there to help him. Until the most recent case. Where the most recent victim looked exactly like his daughter.

"Hey, when did you guys get back?" You raised your brows in surprise when you found Spencer spinning a pen in between his fingers at his desk. "I didn't get a text from you—?"

"My phone died." He muttered and looked up at you, eyes tired and overworked. Within seconds, you were pulled into his arms as his head found its way into your neck. "Missed you and Liv lots."

"We missed you too, Spence." You wrap your arms around him and rub his back. You let him settle into your arms before you separated and sat on his desk, confused at his sudden affection. "I haven't looked at this case yet. What happened?"

The storm outside thundered, causing him to jump and clasp your hand in his own. You frowned and squeezed his hand, head tilting to the side. Spencer was never this afraid of rain, especially when Olivia loved the rain and always asked the both of you to play in the rain whenever you were both home. So you did what you do best — analyze him based on his behavior.

"Uhm, the victim was kidnapped and drugged until she nearly passed away from how much was injected into her veins." He felt for your pulse and counted how many times you heartbeat passed in a minute. "We were cutting it close with time when she got to the hospital."

You watched the way he kept pushing his hair back and readjusting his glasses. He was constantly fidgeting, which made you frown. He fidgeted plenty, but this felt like it traced a little deeper than the surface showed.

Pursing your lips, you stared at his shaking hands and met his brown eyes. "Spence... There's something more to it, isn't there?"

He swallowed and nodded, voice coming out quieter than intended. His hold on your hand tightened as he spoke, eyes shutting like he was in pain. "She uh... She looked just like Olivia, just older."

Your heart broke when you heard his voice crack. He hadn't thought about his own addiction in a while, and seeing a girl who looked like his daughter having a similar experience had him spiraling. You saw the look in his eyes, how scared he was to ever think of losing you or losing Olivia in the process of going back to addiction. He seemed to overthink the entire situation. If that was his own daughter — who he prayed wouldn't ever be harmed in any of his cases — he probably would've quit on the spot.

"Listen to me, Spence." You start and took both hands in your own, smiling softly when you saw his wedding ring adorning his hand. It had been a couple of years since you married him, but every time you saw the matching rings, you were instantly transported back to the day.

You squeezed his hand and kissed the back of them three times, one thing you began doing since you started dating. "Olivia and I know you will do everything in your power to be there for us. We also know you would do everything not to go back to drugs, you know why?" When he stared at you with wet eyes, you continued, your own voice cracking. "Because you love us too much to ever risk yourself to a life of addiction. You have grown so much and we both know you would hate yourself forever if Liv saw you injecting Dilaudid into your own arm."

He stayed quiet and listened to your words intently. Even with his IQ of 187, he knew you were right. He had thought about going back, letting the drugs take him back to the dark place he said he never wanted to go back to. But as always, you pulled him out of the dangerous waves before the water could fill his lungs. You were one of the only people who could hear his cries without anything being said.

You brought a hand up and wiped a stray tear falling from his eye, like you could hear his unspoken thoughts. "I know you Spencer Walter Reid. I can read you like the back of my hand, and not because that's my job, but because you let me know you."

Like a surge of the perfect storm brewing outside, he cupped your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your lips. It was filled with all his stored emotions from one singular case. You could feel the desperation, love, need. He sought out for you in his darkest times. You kept him clean all these years and he wasn't going to let that streak die because of a hard case.

You and Spencer both went to pick Olivia up from her ballet lessons, wanting to surprise her. And boy was she happy to see both her parents. When she heard the bell ring above the studio's front door, her head peek above the half wall and met her parents' eyes. She but all squealed in happiness and rushed over to Spencer first, jumping into his arms and grabbing his face in her small hands.

"Hi, daddy!" She giggled and squished his cheeks, her pink tutu splayed over him. "I missed you a lot! Like, more than the entire world a lot."

"I missed you too, Liv." He smiled and kissed her cheek, lowering his head to whisper into her ear. "Have you been good for mommy while I was away?"

She tilted her head and gave him a cheeky grin, reading him as well as you could. "I'm always good for mommy."

You raised your eyebrow at her and tickled her sides before kissing her cheek as well. She was the sun that shooed all the dark clouds from Spencer's mind. Of course, she would never know that. Not until she understood everything her father went through to be there for her.

"Go get your stuff so we can get home. I'm sure daddy is tired and wants to hear all your stories from school." You nod your head toward her pink backpack, the different keychains and trinkets Spencer bought her hanging from every zipper.

"Oh, daddy, I have so many stories to tell you! Like that one time—!"

"Get your stuff first, Liv." He let her down from his arms and chuckled when she ran toward the cubbies, stuffing all her belongings into her bag.

You perched your chin on his shoulder and looped your arm around his — the both of you watching your daughter with loving eyes. He understood what it meant to be BAU Special Agent, but he also understood what it meant to be a husband and father. He knew that the balance between work and home was difficult, but he would do anything to keep his family safe. Would he quit? No, you would never let him. But he would ensure that his thoughts would never wander back to such a dark place.

He would stay clean just for you and Olivia.

"I love you." He whispered to you and turned his head to meet your eyes, smile echoing your own. "Like more than the whole world."

You laugh softly and kiss his cheek, "I love you too, Spence. Don't ever forget it."

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 2

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2])

I'm glad nicky came up with a cool new tune because according to period movies and shows greensleeves is the only song anyone ever knew

look at that meek little smile, ughhhh. nicky is like two days old and this asshole has already figured out he's the perfect prop for her murder sprees. and these poor women are calling her sister and are willing to help too.

the spell is te accipimus in circulum, we accept you in the circle, and yes that makes me cry a little. we accept you in our community. and the spell is yellow air magic, which sounds like the most empathic kind if Lilia is any indication.

that's interesting, you can't really tell that well from screencaps but go rewatch the scene, this witch is making mushrooms grow with yellow magic instead of green?? is it just a spell (she is holding a book) or have I been getting it all wrong and color has nothing to do with the type of magic one has?

or maybe??? the color depends on the coven you're in?? the salemites all had blue magic for example. and now that I think about it the stone circle is a protection spell but it's not red/orange.

the meaning of this scene is so glaring dear lord. agatha was never going to give these women a chance to prove that yes, there are people out there who could love and help and accept her. she has shut herself up to that possibility a long time ago.

and she stole the soup too. awful.

I've seen all the different theories about nicky needing to feed on witches too, or nicky needing soul sacrifices to survive because he's the son of death etc. we don't have enough evidence to prove anything yet, but personally I headcanon nicky as a totally normal kid, that makes this story even more tragic.

and aww that baby suckling on the little pudgy fist

nicky doesn't look that happy about what he's been asked to do, does he?

we establish that nicky was sickly (maybe he was born with some internal defect that rio temporarily patched up?) we also see him steal the bell agatha will use for her Road scam in the future.

and we meet yet another witch being kind and wanting to help.

agatha: I love this six year old so much I'm gonna make him accessory to murder

dO yOU ShaME YouR MOtHER

and the big fake gasp too. as usual this bitch has conned a whole community

like, she's convinced herself that other witches are bad and are after her WHILE relying on witches's good hearts to con and kill them. what sort of mental gymnastics???

color goes from yellow to purple. nicky waits outside while his mom commits murder, it's not a good look on agatha. completely fucked up, actually.

(I'm terrified that the goat will end up being an agent of mephisto or something idiotic like that, lemme tell you. I hope they're just keeping it for milk and company.)

and here's the million dollar question. nicky has seen his mom kill literally since he was born, and now he's old enough to start realizing what that means.

oooh I know that look, that's agatha when she's put on the spot. she avoids his gaze, she can't be sincere with him.

and of course she's teaching herself spells from a book. nerrrrrrd

nicky, bless his soul, appears to give it a good thought and then offers a practical suggestion. I guess he wouldn't mind to have a roof on his head and some friends too.

GREAT acting from kathryn here. the quick OH SHIT face followed by the super final NO, with her jaw so rigid. in typical agatha fashion, when she's upset she becomes avoidant.

this is evanora's legacy. despite agatha's immense love for nicky, she is passing all that pain down and inflicting it on him.

remember when she called billy a survivor? this is the greatest asset in her opinion, the one she wants to teach her son. the truth is, she is angry at witches because she is scared of them, she's scared of being targeted again. but look at that kid's dark circles, I can't believe she's making him sleep in the woods, sick as he is!

really really fantastic subtlety. agatha wants to sound wise and strong, but she looks scared, uncertain, guilty.

see how nicky looks at agatha while he sings? he's checking to see if she's noticing, because his mom likes music and likes his voice. he's afraid he has upset her and wants to make her smile. he tried to reason with her, and now he tries to soothe her. this is what happens when you have an immature parent, a child will want to help, they will try to fix things. they'll end up parenting their parent, and it should always be the other way round.

agatha takes the bait. she's relieved that the conversation has moved to a safer subject. but oh, this script is so good. this is a mostly innocent, mostly sweet remark, but with a possessive undertone. don't forget that you are mine, she says.

and still, the love is real. even in a fucked up situation like this, these moment of happiness are precious and genuine and will linger on. look at how adoringly nicky looks at his mom, she's literally the sun and center of his small world, and that's how agatha likes it: she created nicky because she needed someone who could be hers without any baggage or consequences. but it turns out that raising a child is not a cheat code for love, it's one of the most difficult, most significant and impactful decisions a human can make.

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Christmas Family Swap 2

Last Christmas I gave you my heart….or my body more like. A year ago on Christmas day, my family woke up to find we had all swapped bodies with each other. My sister Em with my mom, my brother Calvin and sibling Sam, and worst of all - me with my grandpa Boris.

It all happened because of a magical Christmas knickknack that broke when my grandpa dropped it. We were all stuck in the wrong bodies permanently. Calvin and Sam adapted the easiest, being similar ages and looks, though with completely different styles. Calvin went back to college in Sam's body, and somehow managed to convince everyone that all he did was shave his beard and lose weight. He did gain a good amount back, much to Sam's horror. Sam immediately shaved the beard off once they found out this was permanent, and got their ears repierced. Surprisingly, they didn't seem too preoccupied with losing weight, and seemed to embrace being chubby. They did start to shave all the chest hair off though.

Em reapplied to the same college she went to, under my mom's name, and actually got in. I guess she didn't mind how much older she was, and what people would think of her. Me on the other hand…well let's just say it'd be so embarrassing being a fat old guy in college. Not to mention how hard it would be walking to each class lugging around a huge belly. My joints were so tight as well.

I started living in his house, and surprisingly he actually let me, probably because he knew that if he tried to fight back, the neighbors would take my side because they wouldn't recognize him. I knew he got an apartment somewhere, but other than that, I didn't know anything about where he lived or what he'd been doing. God I hope he was at least taking care of my body…but I guess that didn't matter now that I was permanently stuck like this.

This year I was the one hosting, since my grandpa's house was much nicer than my mom's. Of course he never wanted anybody there before but now that it was mine, I was happy to have everyone over. My mom came over early to help cook the food since I would probably ruin the dinner otherwise.

“Ferris, this place is a mess! Do you ever clean up around here?”

“Sorry.” It was still weird seeing someone that looked like Em, but knowing it was my mom behind her eyes. Being so close to the real Em made it hard to take her seriously sometimes when mom scolded me. It probably felt weird for her too. I was in the body of her dad!

“And are these ramen wrappers on the floor? I guess you do live like a college student afterall.”

“Yeah. At least the place doesn’t smell like cigarette smoke anymore.” My grandpa was an avid smoker, and when I swapped, I quickly began craving cigarettes. I gave in eventually, but managed to quit a few months ago. I guess since the body was the smoker but the mind wasn't, it was a little bit easier to quit.

A while later I got a text. I unlocked my phone to see it was from Em. My heart sank when I read the message.

“Hey Ferris, I'm gonna be bringing my new boyfriend if that's ok?”

I showed my mom the text and she copied my worried look.

“New boyfriend? Did she mention him before? I think it might be too soon to invite him to Christmas.”

“I think she kinda already decided before she even asked. I think it'll be fine. I mean we've been like this for a year so it can't be that hard.”

“If you say so. We could just pretend to be each other.” I'd mostly started a new life and identity in the past year, but there still were some times I had to pretend to be my grandpa, like with his neighbors. It wasn't that hard, and I guess I could always pretend I was going senile or something if it comes to it.

Sam and Calvin soon showed up and we were waiting on Em and her boyfriend. When we got the text that they were on their way, my mom began cleaning up a bit around the kitchen area.

“Ferris, go tuck in your shirt.”

“But mom, I hate doing that. It…makes my gut hang out.”

“I know, I know. But just do it because it'll look nicer. It's not every Christmas we spend with someone we don't know. You want to make a good impression.”

“Ugh fine.” She was right though, we did want to make a good impression, even if our family was definitely weirder than you'd think. I headed to the bathroom to straighten up. When I looked into the mirror, it reflected a face that I now recognized as my own. It felt weird to think I used to hate seeing it, both on me, and on my grandpa, back when it was his. I wanted to grow a beard to cover the double chin and wrinkles, only to find out I really couldn't - it just awkwardly grew in patches. So I settled on clean shaven. I was an old man; it's not like I needed to impress anybody with my looks anyway.

I grazed my hands through my hair, or what was left of my hair anyway, and combed it back a bit. I then pushed in my gut with one hand in order to unbuckle my pants. With the way my gut just hung down, I'd gotten used to wearing long shirts that covered it up entirely. Tucking in my shirt highlighted it, but I really had to now so I took it, tucked it into my pants, and buckled them back up. I hated the way it looked, my belly seemed even more round and obvious. At least my belly was tucked into my pants instead of it hanging out.

I walked into the living room to find that Em and her boyfriend had already arrived. He was a regular college aged guy; must've had a thing for older women, or at least physically older women. He walked up to me to shake my hand. Definitely not something I was used to, having someone around my real age act so formal.

“Ah you must be Grandpa Boris right? Nice to meet you. I'm Aaron.”

“Er yeah nice to meet you too.”

“Em told me all about you guys. You seem like a fun bunch! Someone's missing though.” We all went a bit silent for a moment, but I needed to ease the awkwardness so I kinda spat out my thoughts.

“Oh uh yeah Ferris. My…grandson. Hes uh not coming.”

“Aw why not? Em said he was her favorite brother.”

“Uhh rude!” teased Calvin. Em spoke up to finish the answer.

“He's got his own things going on.”

“Ah shame. I'd love to meet hi-” Just then the door suddenly swung open, and standing in the doorway was none other than my grandpa - and boy, had he changed. I barely even recognized my old body! The signature slim muscle and abs I had were replaced with a chubby stomach contained by a blue shirt. How did he even get that big in just a year? What had he been eating?

“What's everyone looking at me for? It's Christmas! Show a little cheer for god’s sake!” he shouted. I can't believe he did this to me! At least he kinda got what he deserved. He was super proud of his hot body but it looks like he just couldn't keep up with the work needed to maintain it.

“Hey, I'm Aaron, Em's boyfriend. It's nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you.” He replied hastily. My mom suddenly interrupted.

“Well uh. The food is ready now everyone so feel free to grab a plate!” My grandpa rushed to the kitchen to get his before anyone else. He stacked a huge amount of food on his plate. I never realized how much of an appetite I had in my old body. Maybe that's why he gained weight so fast.

When he sat down, I noticed he reeked of cigarette smoke. I was so angry I wanted to tell him off right there and then, but I held it in because I didn't want to upset Em. So I kept quiet throughout dinner until Aaron tried to make conversation.

“So Grandpa Boris, how are you doing? I'm sure having a nice family like this must be wonderful.”

“Uh yeah, it's-”

“He doesn't know shit about having a nice family,” interrupted grandpa. I had enough.

“You know, if you want a nice family, you kinda have to BE nice first!” I shouted. Everyone went silent until he fought back.

“I AM being nice! I came here for dinner after all!”

“Yeah, only to stuff your fat face and get presents!” He looked as though he was defeated for a moment, but then started up again.

“Hey, it's not my fault you got a SHIT METABOLISM!"

“I worked out everyday to get that fit. What's your excuse?” Aaron whispered to Em, in between yelling.

“What are they talking about?”

“It's uh complicated.”

“Well uh I do have a present for you Em,” said Aaron, trying to ease the mood back into cheerfulness. At the word “present,” my grandpa suddenly turned his attention toward Aaron. Em opened the gift to find a little knickknack of an elf wearing a purple outfit. Definitely a weird color for a Christmas thing. It reminded me of the knickknack from last year.

“Well where's my present now?”

“Oh uh sorry Ferris! I only got one for Em.”

“Dad, you're not getting a single present this year!” my mom shouted.“

‘Dad?’ What is she talking about?” Aaron was confused now.

“Go to hell all of you!” Suddenly he grabbed Em's present and unlike last year, smashed it- on purpose.

“Grandpa, what the hell!” Em shouted. Aaron looked shocked.“Why are you calling him grandpa? I'm really confused now.”

“It's um…” started Em. “We uh swapped bodies last Christmas.”

“WHAT?” The next couple minutes we spent reintroducing ourselves.

“Oh shit. So you're your own mom? That's freaky. Very freaky.”

“So wait, the real Ferris is Grandpa Boris? Oh man that's gotta suck.”

“And I was super skinny before he trashed my body,” I replied.

“Well anyway. We should clean this mess up,” started Em. “I don't know why we-” Suddenly it felt like pressure was building up inside my head and I noticed everyone else except Aaron got wide eyed.

“Uhh are you all ok?” The pressure feeling built up until it suddenly exploded and felt like I was flying across the room. My sight went dark for a few seconds until it all stopped. When I opened my eyes I was sitting at the other side of the table, looking at myself.

“What happened?” asked Calvin. “Oh shit a beard!” He grazed his hands over his beard. “Not again!”

It was then that we all realized what had happened. We were all back in our own bodies! Except…I was fat. I looked down at my hands to see a familiar freckle to confirm that I was back in my own body.

“Well this is awkward,” said Sam. “We spend the last year building new identities only for everything to go back to normal. That knickknack really returned to us again!”

“Hey at least we look like ourselves again! Well…poor Ferris.” I felt like I was about to cry. I began heading towards the bathroom to see the damage my grandpa had really done. I looked in the mirror and the sense of security I felt when I saw my own face was quickly shattered when I saw how chubby my cheeks were, as well as the double chin I didn't have before. I took my shirt off to find that my abs were completely gone, replaced with a flabby belly that hung over my belt. I had a pair of jiggly man tits as well.

I was used to being fat, but at least when I was in my grandpa's body, I didn't feel as insecure because most old guys are fat anyway. But now? I was just a young guy who really let himself go.

Suddenly I heard a door slam, so I put my clothes back on to see what happened. My grandpa was gone.“Yeah, he's never coming over here again,” said my mom.

“He's just…”

“Too much?” I replied.

“Yep.”

“Well, no need to be so down in the dumps everyone!” started Aaron. “It's still Christmas! Even better, the whole new year new you thing will be pretty literal with all of you.”

“Again,” replied Sam with a laugh.

“Merry Christmas!”

[leclerc-s]

track seven - i don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming

series masterlist

WINTER BREAK 2023

ines_alonso, oscarpiastri, and charles_leclerc posted new stories

last night's gingerbread houses, 3 guesses which one's mine babysitting duties today 😁 watching bluey because according to the kiddos it's the show that reminds them of danielricciardo, for the record he does give off bandit energy, so i agree petite fraise is very happy at the alonso-leclerc-piastri home gotham's greatest protector is so cute, villains tremble before him

liked by lilymhe, francesca.cgomes, kellypiquet and others

ines_alonso first year hosting in the alonso-leclerc-piastri home this year in spain next year its monaco, trust me. p.s. charles is officially banned from stepping foot in our kitchen.

tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, fernandoalo_oficial

view all comments

maxverstappen1 oh my god, what the hell did he do this time?

oscarpiastri the firefighters were involved this time max, that's all you need to know charles_leclerc okay, you people are being dramatic and i am not being dramatic ines_alonso THE OVEN WAS ON FIRE! THERE WERE FLAMES CHARLES! charles_leclerc you're being dramatic, there was no fire oscarpiastri the firemen laughed at you charles, there was a fire.

user1 two cats and charles leclerc? how the hell do they manage?

oscarpiastri i ask myself that same question every day charles_leclerc fuck you, i'm a delight ines_alonso except when we have to call the firemen because someone lit the oven on fire BAKING COOKIES!

user2 the matching pjs and slippers?? oh i'm in love with this trio

user3 inés, how did you convince them to get matching pjs and slippers?? i need tips on how to convince my partner

ines_alonso threaten to withhold sex, it does wonders user3 why didn't i think of that? fernandoalo_oficial i can read this... charles_leclerc what's sex? never heard that word in my life 😅 oscarpiastri what is this sex she speaks of?? fernandoalo_oficial watch your backs going into turn 1 in bahrain user4 peepaw, stop causing controversies, this is why they call you a war criminal

francesca.cgomes marry me and make me delicious treats??

ines_alonso meet me at the courthouse tomorrow?? pierregasly absolutely not! oscarpiastri now i'm thinking we should've had you and kika get fake married instead of charles and max charles_leclerc why are you always feeding into this shit? oscarpiastri why not?

user5 she has style and yet her partners always dress in the same skinny jeans and shorts

user6 oscar needs to step up his fashion style user7 charles needs to wear something that isn't those fuckass tiedye jeans user5 those jeans are a horror to humanity

alex_albon there is not a single thought behind those eyes, just like oscar

oscarpiastri stop slandering my name alex_albon tell your girlfriend to stop flirting with mine and i'll stop oscarpiastri carry on, there's no use in me telling her, she'll never stop

user5 nano living up to the chaos of fernando alonso

user6 i bet he knocked down the tree ines_alonso he did and the charles scolded him, it was quite hilarious to see

georgerussell63 why does honey always look like that?

ines_alonso like what? georgerussell63 lost charles_leclerc she gets it from her father oscarpiastri fuck you, she gets it from you georgerussell63 this was not about either one of you but i fear i may have just started a war

jensonbutton the wife is demanding to know where you got those slippers from

ines_alonso i'll send her the link in exchange for pictures of you in them! brittnybutton deal! ines_alonso pleasure doing business with you mrs.button

ximena.gomez nice holiday?

ines_alonso i'm still mad at you but they're at each other's throats ximena, help me. pierregasly at each other's throats or in each other's throats? ines_alonso blocked and reported.

user8 wait, so they did get a place in spain?

user9 it looks like they did but it could be a rental for the holiday season? user10 honestly, i would love it they got a place in spain because that would mean the s*inz mafia can't get away from them even in spain use8 they can't get away from them even in sp

user11 honestly can't tell who i'm supposed to be more jealous of, inés for having two hot boyfriends or charles and oscar for dating inés

user12 charles and oscar because they have inés. i mean who gets jealous over the men? user13 all three?? user11 i think all three is the only right choice

FEBRUARY 1ST, 2024 AKA DIVORCEGATE

FEBRUARY 7TH, 2024 AKA GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GIRLBOSS

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, fernandoalo_oficial and others

ines_alonso i've always looked good in navy 💙

tagged: redbullracing

view all comments

charles_leclerc words cannot describe how proud we are of you mon soleil. looking forward to racing against you next year! ❤ by ines_alonso

oscarpiastri so excited to be racing against you again sunshine. i can't believe we finally get to share the same tracks again, looking forward to it! ❤ by ines_alonso

patriciooward felicitaciones hermana! this is what you deserve and so much more, i can't wait to see what you do on the track! ❤ by ines_alonso

alex_albon INÉS JESSICA ALONSO, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!

ines_alonso my middle name is not jessica alex_albon I DON'T CARE! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND?? AND I FUCKING BET MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN KNEW! maxverstappen1 I HAVE AN NDA YOU DIMWIT?! alex_albon I DON'T CARE?! THIS IS THE SHIT WE TELL EACH OTHER!!

fernandoalo_oficial no hay suficientes palabras para describir lo orgulloso que estoy de ti. te mereces esto y todo lo bueno que hay en tu vida. [translation: there are not enough words to describe how proud i am of you. you deserve this and everything else that is good in your life] ❤ by ines_alonso

ines_alonso papa, voy a llorar fernandoalo_oficial it's okay, i'm crying too

jensonbutton going to miss one of my favorite co-hosts, who else will help me terrorize the evil woman?? but congratulations baby alonso, glad your dream finally came true. ❤ by ines_alonso

ines_alonso it's okay jenson, we can terrorize her post race together, i promise. and thank you, it means a lot 🥹

isahernaez felicitaciones pequeña!! te lo mereces, no dejes que nadie te diga algo diferente! [translation: congrats little one!! you deserve it, don't let anyone tell you anything different] ❤ by ines_alonso

ines_alonso gracias isa! espero verte en una carrera pronto! [translation: thank you isa! i hope to see you at a race soon] isahernaez obvio! nadamas dime cuando y ahí estoy, tengo que apoyar a mi pilota favorita [obviously! tell when and i'll be there, i have to support my favorite driver] userxx i love the survived carlos sainz jr club ❤ by ines_alonso and isahernaez

sabrinacarpenter CONGRATULATIONS!!!

ines_alonso THANK YOU!!!

user14 wait, so who's the wag now?

oscarpiastri we're both her wags charles_leclerc we're just ken and she's everything user14 down bad, both of you

louieee BITCH?! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?!

ines_alonso I'M SORRY BABY!! I COULDN'T TELL YOU!! louieee I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BABY!! YOU DESERVE THIS AND EVERYTHING GOOD IN LIFE!!

carlossainz55 wow, what a way to stab your own brother in the back

ines_alonso womp womp oscarpiastri womp womp charles_leclerc womp womp maxverstappen1 womp womp louieee womp womp patriciooward womp womp fernandoalo_oficial womp womp alex_albon womp womp jensonbutton womp womp logansargeant womp womp aussiegrit womp womp pierregasly womp womp sebastianvettel womp womp lewishamilton womp womp kimimatiasraikkonen womp womp user15 KIMI? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

redbullracing looking forward to working with you in 2025! ❤ by ines_alonso

user16 SHUT THE FUCK UP?! RED BULL RACING JUST EARNED A NEW FAN!!

user17 carlos sainz jr found screaming and throwing up in a ditch somewhere

schecoperez felicitaciones baby alonso!!

ines_alonso gracias checo!

taylorswift congrats little alonso 💙 ❤ by ines_alonso

ines_alonso I'M RACING WITH THE NUMBER 13 MOTHER!! patriciooward i'm begging you, be normal for once taylorswift that's a great number to pick 😉

user18 i bet oscar and charles are glad to have red bull in the house without seeming like traitors for going out and buying it

user19 bestie, what the fuck does that mean? user18 oscar once said he doesn't like monster but he does drink another energy drink (red bull i'm guessing) and charles just seems like he's hopped up on red bull 80% of the time. user20 those bitches love to drink red bull and you can't convince me otherwise

tkelce congrats inés and good luck next year!

ines_alonso i might be freaking out a little bit right about now but thank you! danielricciardo no inés, you must stand strong, go bills! ines_alonso i'm so sorry mr. kelce but my loyalties align with the honey badger tkelce okay? user21 nothing is better than someone like travis kelce getting involved in the world of formula 1 because these people are insane and he's not ready for their chaos.

kellypiquet congratulations, looking forward to spending time with you in the garage next year 🩷

ines_alonso thank you kelly, looking forward to terrorizing max with p 🩷 maxverstappen1 p does not terrorize me, you and alex on the other hand... alex_albon okay, so find other friends bitch. oh that's right, you can't!

pedri felicitaciones!!

ines_alonso gracias pedri!!

user22 all these people congratulating inés because it's what she deserves is making me tear up a little bit.

aussiegrit congratulations inés, there's no doubt you'll do amazing.

ines_alonso be honest, is oscar holding you at gun point? aussiegrit they're going to think i hate you ines_alonso jury's still out to be honest

lewishamilton it'll be an honor to share the track with you inés

ines_alonso thank you lewis, that means a lot coming from you

nicorosberg make sure you terrorize max for me

ines_alonso will do britney 🫡 maxverstappen1 i will wipe the floor with her nicorosberg i will destroy you on sky sports and will tell fernando exaggerating lies that you said about inés ines_alonso i just sit back and giggle at this chaos

danielricciardo make me proud baby alonso!

ines_alonso always honey badger user23 and this one goes to all the haters who were saying what about daniel? clearly he was aware of this and is fine with it. y'all are just misogynistic.

eliasowens congratulations kid, i might give you a lot of shit for stealing my kids but you deserve this, don't let lord voldemort ruin this for you

ines_alonso elias, i love your kids, jury's still out on you but thanks. eliasowens you suck sometimes inés

¡taglist!

@minmira95 // @lesliiieeeee // @vroomvroommuppett // @prongsvault // @justtprachisblog // @scuderiadevils // @cataf // @chezmardybum // @formulaal // @lilsiz // @norstappenvibes // @ironspdy // @nikfigueiredo @hinamesgigantica // @niniluvsainz // @matchaverse // @fakeikeastore // @theseus-jpg // @six-call // @81folklore // @emppusofi // @luvsforme // @nichmeddar // @loloekie // @luvpedro // @donttouchthegnote // @nothaqks // @inferiusreggie // @mochimommy2002 // @rach3164 // @clove08 // @clove0 // @lillysbigwilly // @jenxjar // @blupblupfish // @thereadinggremlin05 // @meowiarty // @magical-spit // @camdensreg // @laneyspaulding19 // @ocyeanicc // @yelenasloverrrrr // @percervall // @blushmimi // @spilled-coffee-cup // @greantii // @ietss // @yeanoskrrt // @brakingboundaries

¡not taggable!

@ashlovestoread1411 // @books-thingys-andstuff // @ale-522 // @aandreea_2005 // @Katness1 // @mgmoore // @Scott-McCall-could-lift-mjolnir // @xxx-betty // @ririyulife // @landonorizzz // @moldyshorts1997 // @itstimeforutogo // @yar16 // @em-andemm // @killjoycra // @◇Heart- Trees◇ //@michelleyw81 // @mgmoore //

¡leclerc-s speaks!

𝜗𝜚 i hope all of you that celebrate christmas had a great one, this was originally supposed to go up yesterday but i forgot to post it.

𝜗𝜚 and yes, this is 100% what the poll i posted ages ago was about, so writing this part, that deals with 2024 preseason is insane to me because the 2024 season was just so chaotic and heartbreaking. i am so not ready to write out logan and daniel's departures, even writing this part knowing what i know about daniel and red bull breaks my heart. plus even though it's a fanfic i don't feel good about this plot point and me just blatantly putting yuki to the side this way. i know why he didn't get the red bull seat but i have every right to be upset about it either way and i will be for a while.

¡disclaimer! 𝜗𝜚 this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[sanjisleggy]

the warlord’s wife (mihawk x reader)

req: Oh if you want to you should do a Mihawk x reader (fem or gn) that's hurt comfort where the reader is like the exact opposite of him. Like she is usually so happy and sweet and kind. And something happens and maybe she starts to worry that she is too much for Mihawk because he is just someone who is quiet and to himself all the time and she thinks she is constantly bothering him

a/n: ahhh my first attempt at writing for Mihawk! a much shorter fic compared to my others but i hope you guys like it nonetheless :3c i’d love to write longer fics for him if anyone has any ideas yippee

contents: rude people (lol), insecure!fem!reader, simp!Mihawk, a tiny bit of angst, some hurt/comfort, fluff :3c

wc. 1k

wanna be on my taglist?

—

i. 

standing outside the large ornate doors, you feel your face burn with embarrassment as you contemplate simply going to the docks to wait out by the hitsugibune until the gala ends. as tempting as escaping from the horrific social situation sounds right now, your pride refuses to let you bow your head in defeat.

”i don’t know how else to convince you,” you try to appeal to the two marines standing guard outside the venue entrance once more, “if you could just ask him to verify my identity—”

”i’m sorry, miss,” the larger man of the two cuts you off with a less than apologetic look. “there’s just no reason why we should do as you say. if we listened to every man or woman demanding to go in, we’d lose our heads.”

your indignance and frustration quickly bubbles into pure anger and for a brief moment you lament having left your katana back at the castle. you bite your tongue, unable to think of any other way to convince the marine officers that you are, indeed, a guest who’d been invited to the gala because you’re literally one of the Warlords’ wives.

“besides,” the other officer chips in unprompted, “no offence but you don’t seem like the type of woman someone like Dracule Mihawk would marry.” his partner fails to hold back a scoff but quickly attempts to return his expression back into one of neutral professionalism.

clenching your fists by your sides, you try your very hardest to keep your eyes from tearing up for the second time tonight. normally such a comment wouldn’t phase you—years of being Mihawk’s partner has done wonders for thickening your skin—right now, though, you can’t help but feel a familiar sharp stinging sensation pierce through your chest.

of all the snarky comments you marine dogs decide to make, why this one?

ii.

it had only been an hour into the gala and already you regretted begging your husband, just weeks prior, to consider attending with you as his guest. the event was a grand one held by the marines every year to “show their appreciation” towards their allies, which included the Seven Warlords; and every year the invite would show up at your doorstep only to be promptly thrown out by your introverted husband.

”can we please go? i miss going for social events like these.” you’d pleaded that night in bed, hugging his arm tightly as you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck—a move he liked to call ‘playing dirty. “just this once to see what it’s like, then i’ll never ask again.”

both you and Mihawk knew it was a lie but the swordsman was nothing if not a simp for you so he begrudgingly agreed.

”care to elaborate why?” you challenge, taking the two marines aback if their surprised expressions are anything to go by. clearly not used to ‘civilians’ talking back to them, they take a moment to gather their thoughts—and at least have enough decency to look embarrassed at being called out.

”w-well—”

“your wife is such a chatterbox! it’s a wonder you’ve tolerated her for as long as you have!”

”your husband is whom? forgive me, i find that hard to believe.”

”i thought he was some kind of recluse?”

”maybe it was an arranged marriage. how scandalous.”

”i pity the poor man. all my husband does is talk and it drives me insane some days.”

”darling?” a deep familiar voice calls out from behind you, accompanied by the sound of heeled shoes clicking against stone. before you can turn around, you feel his warm hand rest itself on your shoulder, the comforting heat of his body engulfing you from behind. “i’ve been looking for you.”

the blood drains from both the marine officers’ faces, their eyes widening in shock as it dawns on them what a mistake they’ve just made. as though pleading for mercy, the eyes of the larger man flickers in your direction, almost screaming: “please, i’m too young to die.”

”were these men giving you trouble?” Mihawk probes gently, using his other hand to tilt your head in his direction. the moment his eyes meet your own and widen ever so slightly, you know there’s no point lying. as much as you’ve been able to hold back your tears of frustration well enough to fool the average man, your husband is anything but average.

mouths still agape, the marine officers can do nothing but watch as the notorious swordsman proceeds to cup your face with his right hand in a manner so tender they can’t help but suspect he’s an imposter. unbothered by the unbelieving stares sent his way, Mihawk brushes his thumb under your eye as though to confirm his suspicion.

”they were but it’s okay now,” you finally reply, placing your hand over his to hold it in place as you relish in the comforting warmth of his palm.

”what did you do to my wife?” he disregards your subtle plea for peacemaking. he knows you well enough to infer that you simply don’t want him to make a scene for the sake of maintaining his public image. 

Mihawk’s aware of how much you actually enjoy silently watching him defend your pride and honour; and he also knows from experience how happily you’ll reward him with your honeyed words and sweet touches later tonight, when it’s just the two of you alone together. it concerns him, slightly, if he were to be honest, how easily you have him wrapped around your finger—but that’s something to think about another day. 

the marines stutter and stammer but nothing coherent leaves their lips, all linguistic ability fading into nothing under the angered gaze of the Warlord.

”be thankful my beloved is as kind as she is,” the swordsman warns, all the while maintaining his hardened glare. “know that had she not vouched for you two, i’d have no problem killing you right where you stand.”

—

taglist: @irethepotato @i-reblog-fics-i-like @grierpilots

[love-at-first-sight-23]

Obx Headcanons Part 2|Under the Mistletoe

Fluff, you’re dating/in love with the characters, written with a Fem!reader in mind

—Header from saradika-graphics—

JJ:

As soon as he sees that mistletoe, he’s pulling you right underneath it ❤️

And no, he won’t hold back. It might be a light peck or heavy make-out, but how could he resist kissing his baby?

He doesn’t really know the difference between mistletoe, holly, or weed. They’re all the same thing to him. Funny lil’ quirk of his. 😂

He might just hold some over the two of you for the chance to try out the tradition. He’s curious and charming, after all.

Rafe:

He might find it stupid at first, but then again, why not? He, too, loves kissing his sweetheart.

He’s not wasting a single moment. Without warning, he’s pulling you under and pressing those lips to yours.

He’ll want to do this every day— Even when the holiday season is over and the mistletoe gone, he’ll still be stealing you away to share plenty of affectionate kisses.

He’s a bit more aggressive than the other characters and may be annoyed if you don’t go further than a kiss. He expects you to go much further, in fact~

Kiara:

Aw, how sweet. A romantic time under the mistletoe during Christmas. She’d love to do this with you.

She’s more sincere and would for sure make this a special moment.

She may roll her eyes at such a cliché tradition, but secretly she imagines what it would be like holding your face in her hands with a little green plant overtop you.

She might only do this once, or twice, or a few times. Depends how she likes it the first time.

Pope:

If you ask him? He’ll be nervous about it. Will take a lot of convincing.

He might hang it up himself, then ask you shyly if you want to do “something new.”

He’s sweet! You guys will look so cute together.

Who knows how he’ll feel about it; if other people aren’t around he’ll definitely do it again.

John B:

He won’t say a word to you, just smile and press a kiss to your lips with the mistletoe on the ceiling.

You might be the one to point it out first, then kiss him, catching him by surprise.

John B can be romantic or casual. Depends on his mood. 

We both know he’ll want to do more with you. He’s pulling you onto the bed straight afterwards.

Sarah:

She’s doing this without hesitation. Why wouldn’t she?

So, so, so sweet. There’s nothing that could go wrong with kissing under the mistletoe with this darling.

How could you resist? A cheeky smile will be on this face the whole time. You’ll be able to feel it.

She’d be one to flip off one of your friends, whilst still kissing you, if they happen to make fun of you two caught in the act.

Cleo:

Haha, she’d laugh at this if you asked. She wouldn’t say no though.

Does she know about this stereotype? Probably heard of it at one point or another.

She’d do it in front of your friends, just to make a show. She doesn’t care what they think.

Aw, just a peck on the lips. Nothing too big, but you’ll both be sure to remember it forever.

Have to go greet some guests for Christmas Eve— See you all tomorrow! 🎅🏻

[lion-eva61]

Saw that tweet on twitter and hated it. Because 1. people seem always to gaslight Jayce , saying : oh, you are saying Mel manipulated him? Well his fault for being so easy to be manipulated. He is a himbo ! He is like a leaf in the wind so don’t you dare point out Mel’s grey morality. Instead make more jokes about Jayce!

Even half serios only half joking : Jayce actually wanted to be manipulated by a beautiful woman!

Here is my take:

First : Mel is deep down a good moral leader who is empathetic and cares about all people. But her true potential is buried and need to get out.

Second, Mel should have teamed up with ekko in season 2. Her journey to a good moral leader was not in season 1, her vote for independence of zhaun is not enough to make me say: her dream is to help people just like Jayce and Viktor. But her journey (right at the bombing of the council )should have began to become that person.

With ekko there was so much potential for her to learn about zhaunits and make her finally believe that they are HER people too, that all that gold she wears is like blood gold when all the zhaunits suffer.

Here is why:

First I want to establish Mel’s very grey character by her interactions with Jayce:

Jayce was easily pushed into all kinds of decisions (Markus and ambessa ) and into a political position by Mel, were she gave him full power over the future of hextech, BUT, the council gave no room for him to even have time to think about it. People often say: why didn’t he just say :No actually I don’t want it!

Well watch episode 4 again : Mel IMMEDIATELY began with the voting for creating a house Talis. The council was already 3 steps ahead before Jayce could even utter a word and talking over him. No one even asked him : hey do you even want this Jayce? It shows that the council, once they have something in their minds, they will have it reinstated. In this case :Mel wanted Jayce in the council , and she got that.

Not to mention that Mel already put the seeds in his head (same episode I think but earlier) that he could be a good leader to spread hextech to the world. She made sure to put that idea in his head to achieve his hextech dream.

Also it is not altruism that Mel gave him so much power, because she actually gave herself power over hextech. With Jayce in the council she has one vote more for whatever she wants to be reinstated, because it is easy for her to convince Jayce of her opinions(for example hextech weapons).

Mel used Jayce’s lack of political and tactical understanding. I mean, she was smart enough to approach Jayce and not Viktor, because getting a say of the future of hextech would be impossible through Viktor, a zhaunits who distrust the upper piltover class.

Her journey in s1 is that she moved and used tactics like a Merdada but learns to open up to Jayce and reject her upbringing. But that journey is rocky. To remind everyone : she was(under the pressure of her mother ) the catalyst for the hextech weapons, she brought that idea into Jayce’s and victors lab and brought another dilemma into Jayce’s life : is it morally correct to use his dream to fight other people to protect your own people. At that moment she didn’t consider the zhaunits her people, planting another seed into Jayce’s mind : it’s them vs us.

Meanwhile Viktor was defusing Jinx’s bomb and reminding Jayce , that there is choice for not using violence against people. A deliberate contrast to what Mel said.

And even the final vote for independence for zhaun is rocky : she was taking by surprise with the peace deal and looked worried and unsure. It looks like a mirror how Jayce felt when she took him by surprise and made him council. Now Jayce surprised her with the decision where her morals finally really stands, and she votes for peace.

Problem is, the council already overlooked so much of the issues in zhaun, that their voting is way to late. The pain of zhaunits expressed by jinx is boiling over and the rocket hits.

A final and very good conclusion, a middle finger to the council and their half asses morality.

And that was Mel’s journey : she was just not quick enough to realize, where her morals stands. She was not fast enough to let go of her merdada tactics and work for peace instead of wealth for piltover.

She is not a villain but also not an ally to zhaun. YET

Now season 2:

In season 2 she should have cooperate with ekko, learning the people of zhaun and become the person she really is deep down but is buried under the pressure of her mom and all the years of accumulation wealth for her and piltover, ignoring zhaun.

Her journey was not over to become a true good leader, she was barely a good moral leader in season 1. she should have become one in season 2.

The symbolism to throw away the gold to help the tree of the firelight’s, make it bloom and shine again like she wanted as a child, a city beautiful that it’s shines bright: THAT IS LIERALLY THE FIRELIGHTS HIDEOUT

That’s why it is so so disappointing that Mel Stan’s never talk about her in greater depth, brush her decisions and tactics with a moral white brush, ignore all the so obvious wealth symbolism around her that point out how far away she is from the pain of zhaunits , gaslight Jayce and ignore her journey.

And make stupid tweets.

You guys should not be angry why she didn’t end up with Jayce , but why she never had the chance to show us , that of all people in piltover, she is actually the most caring. That she would have the biggest heart for zhaun. Why didn’t we see that? When it was established how much she actually cares that people don’t suffer? Why didn’t Mel not have a single chance to interact with zhaunits ? To see their suffering ? To make actual changes ?

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Christmas Special

(5.6k words, wrote this in 24h <3 Merry bloody Christmas, guys! TW murder, I guess. Nothing too detailed, tho)

I woke up with a headache. Not a hangover, mind you. I am above getting such things, and in any case it's unfitting for a man such as I to get drunk. No, I had one of those classical headaches, the likes of which are received after a fine blow to the head.

That naturally implied another assassination attempt. How coarse. I opened my eyes and tested my bonds. There were none. Either my captors were convinced I would not run, or they were remarkably incompetent fools indeed.

The room I was held in was… strange, for lack of a better word. There were bright lights that danced across the ceiling, a roaring fireplace, and a table chock full of meats, vegetables, and grains. Yet, that was not the greatest surprise of all.

There was, for unfathomable reasons, a massive tree. Just— sitting, in the center of the room, dominating the festivities. It was gaudy with glowing lights, glittering twine, and baubles infesting its surface. 

Oh, and there were people. Lots of them, in fact, all looking equally confused. We were draped on sofas, sprawled out on armchairs, resting against walls. I was, perhaps, the first of us to wake up, and I swept a watchful eye across the room.

A surprising number of familiar faces caught my eye. Hash, my darling, was there, along with her lowborn friend the vampire. And, would you believe it? There was my old nemesis, the Godhuntress herself, lying blissfully unconscious, just waiting for me to kill her.

By instinct, my hand found its way to my dagger. Some of the bloodlust must have shown on my face, for I caught a mortal boy flinch and hide behind his companion. 

I was halfway to her exposed throat when said companion grabbed my wrist. “You don't want to do that,” she murmured, and her tone gave me pause. It was far too weighty to belong to a mortal, the regality in it far more reminiscent of one of us ancients.

I turned to her and showed off my best smile, the one with all my teeth. She didn't so much as blink at it. “Oh, believe me, miss. I really do. Nothing, and I mean nothing, in this world would grant me more pleasure than snuffing out the life of this vile monster. Now, how about you let me go about my business, hmm?”

She remained imperturbed. “Not happening, kid. Now, how about you tell me what's going on? I don't like this one bit.”

I shrugged and withdrew my blade. Under that strangely cold grip of hers, I sensed a power I did not want to mess with. “Damned if I know. Last I remember, I was in bed, sleeping.” 

“Your kind sleep?” She sounded skeptical. “Actually, what the hell are you?”

“I could say the same of you, miss,” I replied. “But I suppose I'll go first, shall I? I'm a forest spirit, and you may call me Hans.” I left the last portion of my name unspoken, for no one as versed in inhuman dealings as I would ever give my name freely. A damned shame that mine was so short, however. Two syllables was not a great deal of room to make aliases with.

“Katherine, and I suppose you could quantify me as a demon.” She paused. “You don't look like a spirit to me. How old are you?”

I crinkled my nose at her. “Old enough to handle my own, Miss Katherine. And you're one to talk, wearing the face of a little girl. Don't the humans call that pedophilia?”

“No, you're pedo-bait. I'm jailbait. There's a difference, pipsqueak.” The smile was slipping off her face. “Or maybe your little-boy brain is just too underdeveloped to understand that?”

I didn't take the bait. “Fortunately for us, that's not the case. And if you'll excuse me, I'll go find someone more cordial to chat with.” The Godhuntress was stirring, and much as I wanted her dead, a fair fight with her was not one I would win. 

The demoness Katherine let me go, turning back to her mortal boy-toy. I beelined to Hash, the one soul in that room I trusted wholeheartedly. “Wake up, my dear. We've got trouble.”

At that last word, he bolted awake. “Trouble?” He surveyed the room. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Trouble.”

The two of us watched as more and more people got up. The vast majority of them were humans, gangly and pock-marked and over-solid, though I did catch glimpses of spirits and others of our ilk here and there. Katherine was attempting to interrogate the Godhuntress, something I wished her the best of luck with. If I was fortunate enough, perhaps they would get into a fight, and at least one of my problems would be solved.

“We should try to investigate,” Hash whispered. “Someone must know something, yea?”

“If you are so inclined, do it yourself.” I pursed my lips. “I think I shall wait for them to come to me. And sample the food, while I'm at it.”

“Are you crazy? We don't know where it's from. We don't know what it's made of. We don't know jack shit, and you want to play it cool? Have you finally lost your marbles? The only kind of person who would act so casually in this scenario is-” He stopped in his tracks. “Oh. So that's your game. I like it. Dangerous as fuck, but that's life, isn't it?”

“Yes, that is life. Now hop to it, my love. Between the two of us, I think we can get a grip over this crowd in no time.”

Hash gave me a final nod, and strolled off. The first thing I did was grab a glass of wine. Everyone looked more suave like that, and it gave me an excuse to put myself in the center of the room. Several curious eyes followed me as I picked up a plate of venison on the way back, and it was not long before the first of my visitors followed.

She was a young woman, something I sensed would be a common theme in the hours to come, with a spear in hand and an unquenchable rage about her. I swirled my drink in its cup and waited for her to speak.

“Hey! Creepy little boy.” In my own name, was I going to have to be called little boy all evening? “Tell us what's going on, or I'm gonna shish-kebab you with my spear.” 

“I have no idea what you mean,” I replied, pretending to be preoccupied with the vortex within my flute of wine. That glorified stick of hers was hardly sharp enough to pierce a slice of bread, let alone me. “Why would you think I know anything at all, dear?”

“Because you're the only person who looks even slightly at home here? Everyone else is freaking out, and you're just sipping a drink. What are you, one of Santa's elves? Krampus' stolen children? Why are we stuck in a Christmas celebration?” She waved her spear around threateningly.

That was interesting. I did not know what Santa or Krampus were, but I did know the elves, and I knew I could not hope to pass for one in my life. “Maybe,” I said, winking. “Or maybe not.” With luck, she would elaborate.

The girl seemed to only grow angrier at my words, leveling her spear at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hash watch me with alarm. I shook my head slightly, warning her not to rescue me. It would be for the best if we did not show our hand yet. 

“Come on then. Aren't you going to stab me already?” I spread my arms, offering her a clear view of my chest. She narrowed her eyes, and for a moment I felt a genuine flash of fear. Beneath that gaze was something that writhed and fed on rot, something old as time itself and hardly less conquerable.

And then it was gone, as an old man grabbed her weapon and pulled it from her grasp. “Athena! What the hell are you doing?” He was followed by another human boy and… a summoner? 

Yes, a summoner, or something akin to it. I had not seen one of her kind in a very long time. The plot thickened. I have the newcomers a lazy smile, and they responded by tensing up.

“What on earth are you?” That was the summoner, pushing angry little Athena behind her. “You're not human, that's for sure.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Athena snapped, wrestling her spear back. “That thing knows something. I'm sure of it.”

The summoner met my gaze, piercing me right through. “No he doesn't,” she said, before I could recover. “He's bluffing.”

“Excuse me?” I pushed myself out of my chair, going nose to nose (or nose to collar, as the case was) with her in not-so-faux rage. “I know plenty, little mortal. For starters-” Pulling her down by the scruff of her tattered shirt, I whispered in her ear. “I know your little girl is cursed. I know that you are a witch, and a good one at that. And, I know that you really do not want to go back to where you came from, so how about you enjoy the food and leave me be, hmm?”

That last line was nothing more than an educated guess, but it paid off. They were too scruffy and thin to have been living in safe conditions, and I caught sight of more than one open sore on them. 

Gears turned in the summoner's brain, wondering if it was worth the cost to call my bluff. Eventually she stepped away from me. “My apologies, sir,” she said, nodding politely. “We'll leave you be.”

I grinned. “Thank you very much, little one. Go try the venison, if you feel peckish. I find it delightful.”

Athena opened her mouth to argue some more, but the summoner gave her a warning glance, and she left with naught more than a glare at me. Settling back in my chair, I took another sip of the wine.

“Hey, you're Hash's boyfriend, aren't you?” On the list of things I did not want to be called, that somehow ranked below ‘creepy little boy'. I turned to see Hash's vampire friend, still wearing his Smiley Mart™ shirt. What was his name: Dane? Dale? Dave?

Yeah, Dave sounded about right. “Hello, Dave,” I said, turning back around so I did not have to look at him. “Is there something you want?”

“Hash told me to come find you. She said you could use my help?” He stepped around so I was facing him once more. “I really don't know what to do, honestly.”

I sighed. “Go interrogate someone,” I told him, more to get him off my back than anything else. “Actually, go keep an eye on some people for me.” I pointed out the Godhuntress, who was flapping her wings in an attempt to get a mortal girl to stop poking them. 

“Is that who I think that is?” Dave's eyes widened. “You think this was her doing?”

“Hmm? Of course not. I want you to tell me when she looks distracted so I can go kill her.”

“You're crazy,” he said. “That's the Godhuntress. You know, the greatest deity since the Creator herself? Yeah, that Godhuntress. She'll squash you like a bug.”

“Doesn't matter. I will find a way.” I clenched my glass. “She took something very precious from me, and I will take my revenge, one way or another.”

“Alright, alright. It'll be a hell of a story to tell, in any case.” He made to leave, then turned back. “Say, is that wine any good? I'm feeling rather thirsty.”

I considered it. “It is rather dry,” I replied. “But fruity, too. Take that as you will.”

“Cool. Thanks, Hash's boyfriend,” he said, and the glint in his eye told me he was calling me names in insult. Unfortunately, by the time I had registered it, he was long gone.

People were beginning to crowd around the tables, finally encouraged to touch the food. That was when I spotted someone I had thought I would never see again: Merida Ryder. And with another forester at that! 

For once, curiosity got the better of me, and I trotted over to talk to her. She would not recognise me, of course. I had taken great pains to disguise myself that time, and I wondered how she would feel seeing my true face for once. 

“Well, well. If it isn't miss Merida, all grown up. Remember me?” I tapped her on the shoulder.

She turned around, and it broke my heart to see how she had changed. Her eyes were sunken, the lights gone from them. Merida looked down at me, and there was no spark of recognition. “No,” she said flatly.

The forester turned around, and he let out a little gasp. “You're-” I shushed him. 

“Can you not see I am trying to talk to someone here? It is most lovely to see a fellow Ces-ilre, but I must speak to Merida first,” I said. “Are you sure you don't remember me? I passed you that gun, all those fateful years ago.”

She blinked slowly. “Don't. I don't want to remember.” Merida shuddered. “Go away, Hans. Thank you for your help. I absolve you of the favours you owed me.”

I am not and have never been a stranger to suffering, but it hurt to see her crushed like that. “So you do recognise me,” I continued. “What happened, Merin? You used to be so happy.”

“I grew up.” 

And that was all she would say on the matter. The forester extracted my hand from her shoulder and led me back to my couch. I let him, of course, something in the hollow cavity where my heart should be aching. 

“You're the Spirit Emperor,” he whispered to me, snapping me out of my reverie. “What are you doing here, my lord? And how did you know Merida?”

“Same as you, and that is none of your business,” I whispered back, slipping into forester dialect. “What is your name and clan, sirrah?”

“Kristavla, formerly of the Ko clan. My lord.”

“So you were there when… the Incident happened.” I jerked my chin at the Godhuntress, now attempting to engage a very uncomfortable Dave in conversation. Or perhaps she was interrogating him.

“No. I was attending to my fiance, my lord. The late Kitsy Te-clan.”

“Oh. I killed her, did I not?” I vaguely remembered a foul-mouthed guard who had insulted me the moment I arrived on castle grounds.

“Yes, and I thank you for it.” Kristavla shook his head. “I will not speak ill of the dead, but she was not a good woman.” 

“I can imagine that.”

We sat there in silence for a few more moments. “Would you like to help me avenge our people?” I gestured again to the Godhuntress, who was being fawned over by a lich of some kind. “We may not get another chance.”

“I am not one for vengeance,” Kristavla said. “But you are a friend of my friend. And so I will. For you, my lord, and for our people, may their remains soak the earth.”

“Thank you. Be on your way, friend,” I told him. “Speak with the vampire in the demeaning costume—” I had to approximate a word for Dave's Smiley Mart uniform— “and see if you can isolate and weaken her. From there we shall make the kill.”

Kristavla nodded, and slipped away. Taking his place (for it seemed I would have an endless supply of supplicants today), was a lean, sly doctor. Her red hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and her skin was dry enough to resemble scales.

“Hello, Spirit Emperor,” she hissed. “Fancy seeing you caught up in the Christmas web.”

There was that word again. Christmas. “Care to explain, doctoress?” I offered her a seat. She was about as human as I, with the way she moved, though I could not tell what on earth she was.

“I am an Oracle,” she rasped, as though reading my mind. “And my people arranged this felicitous meeting.”

I froze up. “I see. And why should I believe you?”

She laughed, a sound that had more in common with the death of a small furry animal than anything friendly. “Your name is Hans-el Ko-clan. You killed and ate your parents to save the Goddess of Dreams. Your lover is a shapeshifter who will not tell you its true name, and you hold a grudge against the fallen angel they call the Godhuntress.”

“All very impressive,” I agreed. “ But any old fool could have worked that out with the right background knowledge. Tell me something nobody knows.”

The Oracle grinned, revealing red and raw gums. “Careful what you wish for, little boy.” She shifted closer, and I could smell the blood on her breath. “You claimed the throne by mimicking the magic-thieving spell the Godhuntress used on your dear friend. You helped the renegade Merida start the civil war in Palioden by orchestrating a situation in which she had to kill her sister using a gun you provided. And, as the topping on this pie, your worst fear is-”

“No!” It came out louder than I expected, and more than a few heads turned our way. “I believe that you are an Oracle. Please, do not continue this.”

The Oracle leaned back, victorious. “Good boy,” she murmured, proving that there was, in fact, a nickname I could dislike more than ‘Hash’s Boyfriend'.  “Now, I suggest you stop hiding in this little corner and get to moving the plot forward, will you, dear? You ought to be an active protagonist.” She pushed me off my chair. “And be grateful we didn't send you the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present or Future.”

Before I could ask her what the ghosts, or even Christmas, were, she was gone. Not gone like a ghost walker, or like a teleporter. Gone entirely, as though she had never existed in the first place. I shook my head to ward off the strange feeling, and got up. It was unwise to disregard an Oracle's warnings.

I was about to approach a random person, when someone once again came to me. For once, she seemed perfectly normal. “You look like you know what's going on,” she said without preamble. “Care to explain?”

“Unfortunately for you? I do not,” I informed her, pausing to pick up a few jellies and put them onto my plate.

“Well that's not very polite of you, seeing as I know what Christmas is and you don't,” she replied, taking a few jellies of her own. “And I hear you killed your parents too. We've got that in common, at least.”

That gave me pause. She didn't look like a mage of any kind. “And how did you do that, little girl? With a knife? A pillow to the face at night?”

“A death ray, actually. I'm Mara. Nice to meet you, Hans,” she informed me, sticking her hand out. “You're the talk of the party, you know. They say you're an Emperor.”

“And just who might this ‘they’ be?” Blasphemous gods above, did she ever shut up? 

“Well, Visitor over there, and his buddy Aida. They're from Palioden, which a few little birds tell me is a land in your world. Which, if you can't tell already, I'm not from.”

“What?” 

Mara giggled. “You heard me, Mr Spirit Emperor. I'm not from your world. And if I eavesdropped right, they-” she pointed at Athena's crew- “aren't either. The creepy girl who stopped you from killing that goddess too.”

“The Godhuntress isn't a goddess,” I snapped. “She's nothing but a grandiose genocider. And how did you know about me and Katherine? Everyone was asleep.” 

“I happen to be really good at pretending to be asleep. Picked up the habit in kindergarten.” I tiptoed to pick a cream puff off the top of its tower, and she helped lift it down for me. 

“Thank you. So what do you want, Mara-murderer? A boon? As you have ascertained, I know naught more about this place than you.” Finally, that was a lie. The Oracle had provided me with some excellent information.

“I want to help you kill that bitch. The Godhuntress, or whatever her name was.” Mara's eyes glinted with bloodlust.

“Why?”

“She disrespected me,” Mara snarled, cracking her knuckles. “I was wondering what she was, and I poked her wings, and would you believe it? That fucking bitch slapped me. Me! No fucking warning.”

I was deeply surprised to hear that the Godhuntress had not done worse than a mere slap for the insolence of grabbing her wings. But any aid was welcome aid, especially from someone as adept at spying as Mara appeared to be. “I see. Let's team up, shall we?”

“Excellent.” She rubbed her hands together. “I know that pretty elf girl and the convenience store dude are on your side. Is the other spirit with you too?” I nodded. “Mmkay. I'll tell them everything I know, and report back.”

“Certainly,” I replied. Mara let out another disturbing giggle, and ran off. There was something deeply wrong with that girl, I decided.

I drifted down the table, plucking up more desserts as I went. The talk of the party, was I now? I could certainly see it. More than one person parted way to let me pick out my food, and I saw a distinct wariness in their eyes. Then again, it was but my dues. 

I passed by a Luxatian Crusader in full armour, and she nodded at me. “Spirit.”

“Knight.” For once, I was having a normal encounter. For once, nobody was questioning me about Christmas, or Santa, or Krampus, whatever they were. For once-

The knight unsheathed her sword.

I moved to dodge the blow, but it never came. Indeed, she was not so much as looking at me. Her eyes were trained on someone else, instead. A lich.

“You,” the knight snarled. “Iraela Foundling. The Lich-Queen. I swore an oath to defeat you. And now, I shall.” Ah. It seemed I was not the only one with a grudge to satisfy. 

The Lich-Queen blinked, and eloquently croaked out, “What?”

“I am going to watch your unlife spill out onto my blade, foul beast. You killed my family, my entire village. I watched your ghouls eat my sisters. They were six years old, Lich-queen. I had to run while they begged me to save them.” Tears sprung to the knight's eyes. “You are a monster of the foulest kind, and a fog shall lift the day you die.”

“A monster? Damn right I am a monster,” the lich announced. “I am the monster humanity made of me. Your kind declared me cursed, broken, unlovable. All I did was listen to their words. You should have known it by now: a child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. And all I ever wanted to feel was warm.” She threw her arms wide. “Go on. Slay me. Continue your precious little cycle of hatred. One day, the people I saved, the ones your family scorned, will avenge me.”

A glint in her eye told me she had no plans of going down so easily.

The Crusader spat on the ground. “Spare me your lies, Lich-Queen. Your pretty words will not sway justice.”

I sighed. I knew what kind of woman turned herself into a lich, and it was hardly the sort who a mere knight could defeat. If nobody stopped that fool knight, she was going to get herself killed.

In a flash, I was standing behind the Crusader, barely reaching her underarm. A quick knockout spell later, and she was down, keeling over like a metal doll with its strings cut.

The room had fallen silent. Everyone, even the Godhuntress herself, watched me. I resisted the urge to declare my undying hatred of her, and instead gave a cheery wave to the room. 

The Lich-Queen let her arms fall. “Say, might you be the Spirit Emperor?”

I nodded. “The one and only. And a little bird—” I prodded the unconscious knight with my foot— “told me you were the Lich-Queen. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“And I yours.” She offered her forearm, and I took it. “I actually knew your predecessor: Sucsu'anane.”

That name belonged in our history books. Sucsu was old, and infamous. “But that would make you the first Lich-Queen,” I murmured. “You- It was you who started the Runic wars! It was you who caused the shifters to die out!”

I was staring a legend in the face, a woman who had caused horrors long before my time, horrors that echoes for all eternity. “By the false gods, it is good to meet you! What an honour, Lady Iraela. What an inspiration you were to me.”

I might have spread the flattery on too thick, but Iraela lapped it all up. “Why, you're too kind. Let me tell you: ruling is all in the flair. Why, for my coronation…”

I let history's greatest disaster lead me by the arm to a nice corner, where she proceeded to chatter my ear off. For once, I shall spare you the details. Suffice to say, I learnt more about the history of the Deadlands than I ever wished to know. 

“Let me tell you something, Hans,” she said, interrupting her own monologue.

“Hmm?”

“I heard you knew a shifter named Hash. Well, I met him too.”

That made me perk right up. I'd known Hash was older than I, but that old? Fascinating. What else was he hiding from me?

“Don't trust him. He betrayed us all. We would have won the war, if that little bastard hadn't run off to the elves and spilled the beans. We could have been great, Hans-el. Our peoples, the vampires and the spirits and the ghouls, could have ruled the world. But Hash was soft. Do not let that softness corrupt you,” she warned. “It will rot you from the inside, and when your enemies scoop your guts out, they will not so much as give you the gift of eating you alive.”

“I know,” I replied. “My mother was soft, and it brought her naught but suffering. Our people revile it.”

“And yet you love him,” Iraela commented wryly. “That alone tells me enough about you.”

I did not dare lie and disagree. “Yes, I do. But Hash can take care of himself, now. He's slippery as hell.”

“Yes, that much I have seen from tonight's festivities. But that is the point, is it not? He will slip your grasp and betray you, just as he did the shifters. One day, you will make a cruel choice, a choice for the greater good, and his soft little heart will push him to betray you. All because you weren't hard enough to cut him off.”

I stood up, suddenly reminded of my conversation with the Oracle. My greatest weakness indeed, I thought. “That may be so, my lady. He may betray me, and leave me dead in the gutter. But that is a risk I am willing to take.” I brushed invisible dust off my skirt. “All you are is a woman who failed to rule the world, Lady Iraela. At the end of the day, all you have is your love's blood on your hands and a heart you wrenched out of your own chest. Even if I lose it all, at least I loved, and was loved in turn. For someone who went on and on about needing to feel warm earlier, you just do not seem to understand that, do you?”

Iraela laughed. “So young,” she whispered. “So young and so foolish. They'll make mincemeat out of you, little Emperor. And I'll laugh at you from my grave.”

I strode away from her, back stiff and fists clenched. I could take insult all day, but this? This firm condemnation? It stung. It stung like my father's whippings. It stung and I wanted to never think of it again.

I was still standing about, willing emotion away from me, when Mara tapped me on the shoulder. “Come on,” she said, grinning. “Buncha tables appeared. I grabbed one for us. Your little vampire friend got dragged off to hang out with the rest of his kind, but it seems I'm free to roam.” She laughed maniacally. 

She led me to a table. Hash, my Hash, my brilliant, softhearted friend, grabbed my arms and all but pulled me by his side. “Check this out: That vampire's got a tan!” He pointed a woman in work clothes, conversing animatedly with Dave. “Apparently, she's a field researcher. Can you believe it?”

“Yes, I can,” I agreed numbly. 

“Oh, and this Christmas thing! Mara told me all about it. Apparently, they eat turkey and give gifts and celebrate this saint of theirs. I don't have a gift for you, but I figured this might do!” He pointed at the Godhuntress and lowered his voice. “I cut a sleeping rune onto her piece of turkey while I was carving it. She doesn't know know to use the cutlery, so when she bites into it, the spell will activate, and it'll be your chance! Whaddya think?”

He really was sly. “Brilliant, my love,” I whispered, my mind still on the Lich-Queen. “What else did you find?”

He scrunched his nose up and thought. “Um, the God of Evil's here, and he's a pretty chill guy. The Godhuntress' daughter's here too, and she's got an axe to grind with dear old mum, too, but I convinced her not to do anything drastic. There's some poor blue fellow in the corner, and he's got some kind of curse. I didn't go too close, but he seems… different from the rest of us. When we're done, we should go investigate.”

Beside me, a man in a strange vest sat down. “Hello there, lad,” he began, only to fall silent when he met my eyes. “You're no child. You're a monster.” He stumbled back, clutching his hand to his chest. “Maya? Let's find another table.”

Hash barely hid back laughter as he all but fled the scene, the girl he called Maya giving me a wry smile and nod as she followed. “Now, where was I? Oh, yes. The others. Look over there. No, not at the demon-girl. The blondie and the redhead next to her.”

“I recognise the others at that table,” I told him. “Kristavla and Merida.”

“Yeah, Kris was helping us out earlier. The redhead? Apparently an infamous mind-mage. She fuckin conquered an entire city, all on her own. And the blond girl's a spell-snapper. Ugly combo, if you ask me. They're from the same era as us, but Nyctomachian.”

“And them?” I pointed at Athena and the one-eyes summoner. “They damn near called my bluff.”

“Yeah, they bothered Dave real bad too. Something tells me they're not gonna harass us again, though.” He grinned at me. “A certain someone may have implied that he was the reason they even ended up here.”

I wanted to facepalm. “Damnit, Hash. That was exactly what I told them too.” I looked over at them, deep in discussion. The old man met my gaze, and held it with the kind of defiance that promised trouble. “Ah, what the hell. We can deal with them later. For now, let us celebrate.”

I drank more wine, this time watered down (for no man of my stature should ever get drunk), gossiped with Hash and Mara, and bided my time.

The Godhuntress took her spare time sipping drinks and eating appetisers. For a moment I suspected she knew of our devious plan, for she avoided her turkey for far too long. Then she lifted the fateful piece of poultry with more grace than it deserved, and bit down.

I was by her side before her head hit the table. My reputation preceded me, for the others at her table, a rather foolish spirit and his mortal friend, scrambled back. Gasps of shock and horror resounded as I readied my blade.

It was quite a shock to realise those noises were not for me. I glanced up from my goal for one fateful minute, perhaps compelled by the strings of Fate that the Oracles pulled, and caught sight of what could only be described as a cryptid.

He came from the chimney, white and red despite the soot. A full white beard hung limply from his chin, and his deep voice resounded throughout the room. “Ho, ho, ho! Merry bloody Christmas, fools!” He pulled out a massive sack and grinned at the room. “You're all bad apples, the lot of you! Coal for everyone!” 

Everyone except me dodged the sudden hail of coal that followed the opening of his sack. “Well, what are you waiting for?” He leered at me, icy blue eyes piercing me like the fangs of the last Oracle I met. 

I lifted my knife, aiming it at the dazed Godhuntress' throat. A glimmer of recognition dawned upon her face, but I did not let her recover fully. Down went my blade, swift, brutal and twice as just as any executioner's axe.

And what a merry, bloody Christmas it was.

[avelera]

Hi, I love your work as a writer and answering questions about Jayvik. That's why I wanted to ask you about: what do you think happened to Viktor from episode 2 to 5 of season 2? What progress did he make to want to talk to Jayce again and "need" to show him what he had accomplished? That's what I was wondering when I was rewatching Jayce and Viktor's conversation in episode 5 of season 2.

That's a really interesting question!

I think the answer to what Viktor wanted to show Jayce was, at least on the surface, the progress he'd made with the commune.

Keep in mind, Viktor and Jayce's stated goal for most of S1 was crafting Hextech to help those in need, particularly in the undercity.

While Jayce was gone, Viktor has apparently:

Found a way to cure people of injuries AND of shimmer addiction, which has plagued the undercity, and done so with powers granted to him by the Hexcore, which is a product of his and Jayce's joint work in a way.

He's built what appears to be a thriving, peaceful community in which healed people from the undercity can live safe, fulfilling lives. He's basically skipped tons of steps between, "Give people technology that will improve their lives," and gone straight to, "Solve people's needs and create a community that offers a perfect life."

Given that the Hexcore is where Viktor got the power to do all this, and that if he's being manipulated by it, he's probably not aware of it, this would really look like Hextech has given Viktor the power to wave his hand and just go straight from A -> Z on solving all the problems they hoped to solve incrementally with Hextech.

But I think it would be remiss not to make a few caveats to this. Viktor left Jayce behind before and now suddenly he wants him back. There's a range of reasons for this that range from human to totally inhuman. The work he's done might have little or nothing to do with why he sincerely wants to see Jayce again. For example:

Viktor woke up feeling shocked and betrayed. Maybe now that he's made peace with his new life, now that he's found a way to turn his new "gifts" to their original goal instead of dying on the Council Chamber floor, he's better disposed towards Jayce now. Maybe he wants Jayce to come by too out of a sincere desire to mend that relationship. The work itself is secondary.

Maybe after a few months, Viktor is a little tired of all the Kumbaya hippy BS and really does miss his scientific partner since it doesn't seem like anyone is really intellectually challenging him at the commune besides Imaginary Sky. The work itself is secondary.

Maybe "Viktor" wouldn't want Jayce there at all. Maybe he left to keep Jayce safe from the sentient Hexcore now living in his chest. Maybe after months of feeding assimilated lives to the Hexcore, it's powerful enough to override Viktor and/or convince him that he really does want Jayce back, so that it can assimilate Jayce too as one of the few people who could stop it. The work itself has nothing to do with it.

Hope this sort of answers your question!

[fromkenari]

@alliwantforchristmasislou

I don't talk about my identity a lot because I live in a town in the 2/3rds of the state that is red despite it being a blue state. I'm not accepted, nor is it really safe for me open about it beyond my friends, and the sad thing is I have only one other friend in this town with the same pronouns as me and my friends, all of whom are queer positive and a bunch of whom are queer themselves don't use the correct pronouns for my other friend who uses them or me because well, you know, transphobia but they claim it's because using "they" in a singular sense is just too awkward for them to do that for my one other friend who uses they/them and me. And I could talk about the suicide rate of non-cis kids in this town, but this is a positive post, right? It's why the Trevor Project is so important.

So anyway. Tumblr, Discord, and the internet, in general, have been the only hardline I have to a diverse queer network. I've been on this site since sometime in early 2009, and you know, before that, I was on Livejournal, and before that, I was on fan forums, Yahoo! Groups, and Pro Boards. So I've been around. I've seen it all in real time. And even though I was not into anything to do with Superwholock, I saw all of that, and you know, I have never really been deep in a fandom. Not even when I was on Livejournal. I just have a massive aversion to oversaturation.

So. I've been watching 911 since the pilot. I was hyped for it because of Angela Bassett. I thought, "You're making Angela Bassett a cop and handing her a TV show; what could go wrong?" (That's rhetorical; don't @ me. I know better now.) Anyway. I was hooked from the first episode, and you have to understand when 911 premiered, I was in one of the darkest points of my life. I had finally been declared legally disabled, which I had been working toward for 3 years. So, you know, nobody on Tumblr was talking about this show. By the end of Season 1, a few of us were scratching around at things, but there wasn't much there.

Then, Season 2 happened, and you know, Season 2 was some of my best times in the 911 fandom. I was there when we were deciding on Beddie vs Buddie. I was there when the first Buck/Eddie fic was posted to AO3. I even wrote some back then. It was a completely different energy then. There was an entire Discord server of us who were mortified that "Be Careful What You Wish For" was likely about the part of fandom that wanted Eddie and Shannon to end, but the consensus was, "WTF, we wanted her gone, but not like that!" And then, you know, the people celebrating it got louder and louder, and I was in fandom less and less until I stopped posting about 911 entirely on Tumblr.

Eventually, I made a new blog, this blog, not because of that, but because Tumblr shadowbanned my old blog, and nothing I posted would show up in tags. And you know, I was a big fandom creator and roleplayer, and I had to start all over. But I was still watching 911. I never stopped. I also watch Lone Star, and oh, the stories I could tell about the early days of Lone Star when 911 OG purists were throwing hissy fits that Lone Star content was getting tagged as 911. Seriously, it was a knockdown, drag-out fight to watch. But anyway, you know, I'm watching, and I'm waiting. I'm waiting for Evan Buckley to be confirmed as bisexual as I get my Henren scraps and cry over everything they do to Josh.

Then, the show gets canceled. But OMG, it's Immediately picked up by ABC, so trying to understand how to feel was indescribable. Because Seasons 5 and 6 sucked, they sucked, and I won't be convinced otherwise, and I was despairing because I was going to have to jump ship. And then the show jumped networks. So, I'm figured what do I have to lose?

So, I am still reeling from the Cruise ship disaster and rescue. And I'm going, "Is my show back? It's kind of back, right?" while also going, "And Tommy's back, and he's getting along with everyone. Sure, why not?" And then, you know, Episode 4 happened, and I'm watching it wondering what the hell is going on. Is Tommy going to be a recurring character now? And then you know Buck was an idiot, and you know I thought it was about Eddie, and I was kind of mad because really? The cast and crew get kicked around by their ship's fans, and you're giving them this? Because anyone who tells me watching that episode as it was airing that they thought Buck was doing that for Tommy before the loft scene, I'm calling horseshit because I've been watching since episode 1

I've wanted Bi Buck for as long as I can remember. And it was not until the loft scene that I even realized something was happening. I didn't know what it was, but something was off. And some point, I was standing on the couch freaking out at my TV, going, "WHY ARE THEY STANDING SO CLOSE TOGETHER? WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?" And then, you know, the kiss happened, and thankfully, no one was living next door in my duplex at the time because I was not quiet about my joy, and I sprained my freaking knee. I was so chaotic in my reaction. (I had to go to urgent care. It was a whole thing. Eh, my joints suck because of chronic illness. I told you I was on disability a long time ago, okay.) And you know, once I simmered down, I ran to this blog to post about it because 4 episodes on a new network, and they gave me Bi Buck.

And you know, I tried so hard to find a voice for Tommy in my head, but I couldn't. I didn't have enough material to do it. I appreciated everyone who could do it because I read your fic, which was great. I didn't even get into the fandom for it until Season 8 because I couldn't wrap my head around the ship, but I was going to sit there as long as it took to understand Tommy because it's Bi Buck's canon ship. Of course, I want to be able to write it myself. That's what I do. And right about when Tommy brought Buck avocado toast, I got it. Everything synced up in my head, and I understood it. I could go back and look at things and understand why Tommy did things now.

So, during that break for Halloween, I was writing little things and not posting them. I had already at the start of Season 8 found a Discord server, and I was hanging out in the tag. I was looking through follow lists people posted and zipping through them. And yeah, sue me. I call it Tevan because that's what Tommy calls him. That's not a judgment on anyone; it's just my preference. I forgot to mention that I was also there when shit hit the fan during the Season 7 hiatus and trying to survive in my old 911 Discord Servers, but people were awful for no reason. I'm never gonna understand why a whole swath of fandom hated the ship to the point that they were causing traumatic harm to other people, especially queer men in fandom. That's just so beyond me, and, again, another reason we need the Trevor Project is that queer men fetishists on Tumblr do not constitute a safe community for queer people. But I'm getting off track.

So you know, they broke up Buck and Tommy in the next freaking episode, and I had a lot of feelings. I posted a lot of them here. Some of them conflict because you know the human brain can handle more than one viewpoint. Gray areas are my bread and butter when it comes to media. Anyone gets puritanical about anything; I don't care what you ship; I will remove you from my curated experience because I don't need it. It's not healthy.

I've been writing more and more about this ship since the breakup. I even wrote a fixit for the breakup. And you know what happened in the show compared to what people say in interviews? There's a huge disconnect. In any other situation, especially given it's 911 and the Abby of it all, you would expect this to not be over because that's not how Buck's big love interests work. Most of his relationships end with him being too invested, but you don't get to call it a pivotal relationship for Buck and say it's over cold turkey. That's crappy writing because it completely goes against his characterization.

But I didn't realize how attached many people were to Tommy. I felt like I finally met him in the Halloween episode, and bam, he's gone in the next. So much wasted potential. So much drama. So many harassed actors and crew members. So many "journalists" acting like it's their blog is the gossip section of their high school newspaper, but they get screeners? So much crap happened, and what was it all for? So Buck can pine for Tommy and cause Los Angeles County to go on a flour ration? Like? I don't get it. So yeah. If the show wants to fix this mistake because this one they did leave themselves a contingency plan by not killing the man, they can fix it.

So bring back Tommy. If you do, I'll think about forgiving you for Amir's storyline last season. But we still need to talk about what messages we're sending people in these episodes. Those teenage girls do not deserve to get blamed because a grown man went rage quit to the max. The copaganda is SO HIGH that I can't even watch Athena's scenes now. And there's a bunch more I won't list because we're talking about Tommy and how you need to bring him back. I love these characters, but I'm tired of them repeatedly getting the same trauma and outcomes. You finally let queer people kiss again on your show, and then you get rid of one of them?

Anyway. I'm going to keep writing BuckTommy because I need something good to happen in fandom as I continue to watch this ridiculous show. And if you read this whole thing. I'm sorry that this is how it ends.

[fandoms-in-law]

The Kid's Appreciation

Summary: After their 7th day of recieving gifts the Kids start hatching a plot to thank Steve. Their parents had better get on board cause these kids will love Steve into crying on Christmas

A Christmas Day Ending to this post of Steve giving the kids advent treats

~

It took a week of daily treats from the music box for them to start planning.

Of course the kids expected Steve to be there for them if hell opened up again, and to give them lifts and keep in touch if it didn’t, but the music box and the things he was filling it with were something none of them had predicted.

“We should do something for Steve!” Dustin exclaimed it when they met up with Lucas, Mike and Max at the arcade.

Max gave him a deadpan stare, replying, “Der, some of us have been thinking of gifts since he started this.”

“He doesn’t want stuff. He wants company.” He met her judgemental tone with his own, rolling his eyes and thinking before turning to them with an idea in his eyes.

Mike backed off a couple steps. “No, I know that look-”

“Lets have a Surprise Christmas Party for him!” Dustin declared.

“Lucas, you’re helping me convince Mum and Dad. I’ll help with yours.” Mike bargained immediately.

Lucas laughed but that cut off when Max huffed, “Mine will never go for it.”

“I can convince Mrs Mayfield.” Dustin nodded assuredly. “So Christmas Day, we get everyone together then call Steve to come join the fun.”

“It’s doubtful we’ll actually convince our parents to let us do this on Christmas and where are you planning this to be?” Lucas asked sceptically.

“Mom or Hopper might know. I could ask them.” Will offered, “And if they’re suggesting it the other parents might agree more easily.”

“Perfect, that’s enough to get started planning with. Talk to them in the next few days and then we’ll do more.” Dustin grinned.

~

“We want everyone to get together on Christmas Day.” Will said, watching his Mom and Hopper carefully as the words changed how dinner conversation had been going.

Joyce reacted first with a commiserating noise, “Honey, The other kids families want to spend time with them too, we can’t take them away from that.”

“But we’re family too. You’ve said it to most of them, Steve, Dustin.” He began listing, already thinking of which other arguments might convince them to actually arrange the gathering.

El nodded beside him, “You said that we’re all family now because we look after each other and saved each others lives. And you were talking about just adopting Max two nights ago.”

“Her mother is-” Hopper began to grumble but cut himself off, clearing his throat. “Sure kids, all of us are family but their families don’t understand that and they’ll argue that seeing their cousins or grandparents one of the few times they’ll visit in a year is more important than spending time with people who you see regularly.”

“And we’ve not got a big enough space to host everyone. Where would you want this party to be?” Jonathan added, looking around their home and dismissing the idea Hoppers cabin would work since that was smaller.

“We could use the fire pit?” Will suggested, but his expression already showed how he disliked the idea of sitting outside in December, even if there was a fire. “Or take it to Steve’s? But cook the food here, so he doesn’t feel like he has to host.”

Hopper narrowed his eyes, “Why wouldn’t you be asking Harrington to host already if you wanted to do that?”

Will fell silent, pushing food around his plate.

“Because we want to surprise him with it to thank him for everything he’s doing for us.” El replied plainly. “Eddie can fetch him if we find somewhere other than his home we can all go to.”

Hopper huffed, knowing that with El and Will wanting to do this they’d probably manage to, adults accepting or not. “I’ll ask around places that might let us have some space this week, but no promises. Now tell me what Harrington has been doing to inspire this?”

Will and El tripped over themselves to explain, including pulling out the gloves Steve had given them.

~

"Joyce invited us to a Christmas gathering." Nancy mentioned casually as they had a family dinner. "Mostly Mike and I but you can come too."

Ted looked over at her in interest, "You've not asked permission to go anywhere for a while. When is this gathering?"

Nancy halfway turned to Mike, not quite checking the details as she said, "Christmas day about 3pm."

"We've got to go, Dad. They're our family too after everything we've gone through together." Mike insisted before the frowns on their parents faces could become refusal or objections.

"Family isn't made by sneaking away from your actual family and cross country road trips. Christmas day is to be with us and possibly your girlfriend." Ted dictated. "Ask Joyce to do it a day later."

Nancy glared, "We want to gather with the people who kept us alive through the darkest moments of the year on Christmas. We shouldn't argue with the planning Joyce has already done. That's ungrateful."

~

"Sue, hi, how are you?" Mike hurried downstairs when he heard the greeting, spotting Erica and Lucas stood behind Mrs Sinclairs, strained smiles on their faces that tightened when they saw him. Clearly the Wheelers weren't the only ones resisting their plans.

"Hi Karen. I'm well but wanted to know if you were also being asked to give up your Family Christmas for the kids to see each other." Sue replied pleasantly.

"They aren't just friends. We're brothers basically. After everything that's happened in Hawkins, we want Christmas to be for all of us." Mike frustratedly explained.

"And it's for Steve! I tried telling ours, he's going to be alone! On Christmas! And we're his family, us and Joyce and hopper, Robin and Eddie, so we need to be there for him." Erica added, annoyed and making Mike think that should have been their argument from the start.

Karen looked at her shocked. "What do you mean he's alone? Isn't he going to meet his parents somewhere if they can't come here?"

"No!" All the kids protested immediately, Lucas adding, "They never visited him those weeks he was in hospital after the earthquake or even called. Do you really think they'd do something for Christmas if a town destroying earthquake gets no reaction?"

She looked thoughtful now, "And you're sure Joyce is right to arrange a big gathering instead of inviting him to holiday with them? We'd love to have Steve here even."

"That's not all his family though." Erica said, her tone calling their mothers dumb even if she wouldn't say it. "He's the one giving us things every day this month. Why can't we go to the Byers thing and give back to him on Christmas?"

Sue and Karen shared a look. "Okay, we'll think about it but this isn't an agreement yet." Sue said on a sigh.

The three kids shared victorious grins.

~

"Dustin, can you come here Sweetie?" Claudia called upstairs. He'd listened to her chatting at the door for a while and ran downstairs now.

He glanced into the living room expecting Joyce to have been invited in. "Yes?"

"I know you like our small Christmases together but Mrs Byers just invited us to a Christmas with them. Would you like that just as much?" She asked hopefully, clearly joyful at the idea of more people around to share the day with.

Dustin beamed at her, "That'd be fantastic! I hope Steve's there too. And Max. Do you know if she invited the Mayfields?"

"I'm not sure but I'll call and ask. If not then I'm sure she won't mind me doing so." she assured him.

~

"No I see my daughter little enough as it is." Mrs Mayfield shut down Joyce's invitation before she'd finished saying it.

Hopper huffed, "And whose fault is that?"

"Hope, we're making a friendly invitation for them both to come. Don't insult her." Joyce warned, smiling through gritted teeth.

He folded his arms, judging Max's mother still, "Just say there'll be alcohol and she'll come. Skip the frills."

At those words the door was slammed on the pair but an hour later Max called to confirm they'd come.

~

"Christmas for Steve is go!" Lucas declared through the radio. "But we should still try to get him something."

A moment later Max replied, "A best mum mug or something equally sappy would make him cry."

"Heartfelt and condescending, he'd definitely know it's from us." Will quipped, snickers following the words.

"No, we need to give him a lightsaber and dice, get him to play with us." Dustin protested.

"I think Robin would know what we should give him." El said, her voice clearer than the rest suggesting she'd used her powers to help it.

~

Steve answered the door in confusion. Nobody should be visiting on Christmas day, they never had before though he'd occasionally been invited before the day to join other families on Christmas.

Outside stood Robin and Eddie, grinning as he looked them over, "What are you doing here? You're meant to be with your families."

"Wayne will meet us there. Come on Stevie, didn't you get your invite?" Eddie coaxed.

Robin shook her head, "We're his invite. And apparently an invitation from Hopper is too important for me to refuse so I got sent on my way earlier. Get your shoes and coat and we'll head off."

"Invite to what? Why wouldn't they have invited me before now whoever is arranging this?" Steve eyed them, but did turn to get ready to leave after a moment.

"It's a surprise and because they wanted to surprise you." Robin cheerfully replied.

"The kids then. Fine, let's go." he headed to Eddie's van, never questioning if he could drive them there.

Eddie’s car radio was just as loud as he usually had it but the tape playing was Christmas tunes that got Steve to laugh and had them all singing along on their way.

~

When Eddie pulled up outside the school, Steve hesitated. He watched the building cautiously, eyes scanning over the doors to store rooms and the entrance to the main building until he smiled at something.

Just beneath the roof on the corner was a flickering fairy light that he headed towards, even as Robin and Eddie seemed to dig through their pockets for something he assumed would be their invitations. He didn’t mind, since the kids had left him directions already.

Following the string of lights, and ignoring the calls of Robin and Eddie behind him questioning where they were going, Steve saw a gift attached to the lights with a ribbon but not hanging from them. “Do you think I should gather these and wait until I’m with the kids to open them, or just open it now?” He asked, cutting off a complaint as Eddie realised the invitation didn’t say where in the school whatever was happening would be.

“Now,” Robin decided. “I want to see what they got you.”

Eddie made a disagreeing noise, “Ah ah ah, are we sure that this is for Steve? We could be following someone else’s string of fairy lights.”

“It says Steve and also, no we couldn’t be. Why would anyone else chose the school to have their Christmas at?” Judgement infused Steve’s voice as he replied, more focused on unwrapping the gift, smiling softly at the painted flowers and ‘World’s Best Mom’ caption on the mug when he saw it. “Such shitheads. I love them.” He muttered, turning to carry on following the lights.

He carried on following the lights, snickering when the chain ended and a card was balanced between the plug for that string of lights and the next. The card was filled with small messages from all the kids, as well as Joyce, Hopper, Wayne, Nancy, Jonathan and Eddie, saying what they loved about Steve. With tears in his eyes he looked up to see the name missing from inside it.

“Where’s your message?” He teased, trying to pretend he wasn’t as moved as he was by the card.

Robin pulled a small card from her pocket, “Over here for after your kids have made you cry.”

“So thoughtful.” He laughed wetly. “Let’s see what else they’re giving.”

Around the next corner the lights went around Dustin was waiting, “Check point one reached.” He muttered into his radio before waving. “Steve! Open this now, pleeeaaaasssseee.”

“Hug first, shithead. You’re being too sweet when I wasn’t prepared.” Steve insisted, pulling him in before he could protest and causing the present to hit into his back.

“We love you, let us show it.” was mumbled into his chest just before Dustin pulled back, holding the gift out to him again.

Steve was still smiling as he unwrapped the gift, revealing two lightsabers and immediately keeping the green one while holding the blue one out to Dustin. “Dude, these would be so great for our handshake!”

As the pair went through their handshake Eddie draped a hand over Robin’s shoulder’s, “What is this and why haven’t I seen it before?”

“Their secret handshake. Dustin decided he was too old for it when he started high school but Steve says they still do it if it’s just them around. I guess having actual lightsabers overrules the too old thing.” She murmured back, smiling.

“Adorable.” Eddie smiled at the scene even more now. “Come on nerds, we’ve got a gathering quest to finish.” he called after Steve’s overdramatic death scene, laughing with them when Steve happily jumped up, neaten his hair and focused back on following the lights.

As they turned to carry on, Max came down the hall in the opposite direction. “Me and him are escorting you the rest of the way, Steve. The favourites get to babysit their babysitter tonight.”

“And you get a hug as well.” Steve agreed, tugging her in with only a grumbling groan in protest.

The hug was tight and carried on for enough moments that Dustin added himself to it, wrapping around both of them until Max pulled back.

She looked at Steve for a moment before tugging something red from her pocket. “You’ve got a party to attend, and a hat to wear, Santa.”

Steve only laughed and ducked down slightly so she could force it onto his head. “I guess I did do this to you. Is this one I got even?”

“Maybe, didn’t ask, I got an elf hat that day.” Max shrugged, taking one of Steve’s arms while Dustin took the other to keep them moving into the school gym.

Inside the gym was everyone, not yelling out ‘Surprise’ or turning all the attention on them immediately but separately waving or calling out greetings when breaks in their conversation naturally happened. Steve wanted to bask in it, or wander over to the other kids and join their chats, thank them for what they put towards this unexpected celebration, but the two on his arms led him over to the Christmas tree immediately.

“Now Santa Sweetheart, have you been good this year?” Eddie followed them, somehow getting a bright red long coat on in the time they’d walked across the gym and falling into his DM persona.

Steve laughed at the combination but nodded, “As good as I can be, even tried to save a few lives and convince others not to throw theirs away running into danger.” He replied, but wondered if he should have argued.

Eddie nodded slowly, eyes narrowing as if he was making a tough decision, “That does sound very good, but-”

“We’ve got evidence!” Robin interrupted, laughing and holding out her card. “Here, read this!”

Echoes of “And this” sprang up around the room and Steve didn’t notice who handed him a box of tissues as Eddie did indeed start reading out all the good or wonderful things his family thought he’d done that year, a lot of which he hadn’t thought about doing at all.

The kids ended up all gathered around him, all touching him in some way if they weren’t the lucky ones to have claimed his lap, which were Erica and El.

“We love Steve.” El said simply when Eddie fell silent, seemingly torn between going back into character or adding his own words.

He nodded at her words. “That we do, Supergirl, that we do. Steve Harrington is definitely on the good list this year and should get all the gifts he desires. However this is Hawkins and the funding just isn’t there apparently. Can I interest you in some awesome artwork and a dozen or more cards to fight any negative thoughts in your head?”

Through happy tears Steve nodded, reaching out for them. “Love you all too, thank you so much.”

“And the happiest Christmas we could put together for you too, Dingus.” Robin reached over to softly shake his shoulder, stood somewhere behind him and his kids.

[devondeal]

Lex Luthor in the new trailer looks like everything I wanted.

In the OG 1978 movies he was too campy and ridiculous. I just got annoyed with him.

In the Snyder movies, ugh he’s just plain bad.

I’ve never seen Smallville but many people say their Lex was good. I believe it must have been very compelling but I just cant get behind the whole “Clark and Lex were friends before enemies” thing for them. It just makes more sense for rich snobby Luthor to look down on Clark immediately to me and hate Superman right off the bat.

I adored the Lex in the Supergirl show. Jon Cryer did amazing but he didnt have much material to work with. But he balanced campy with serious perfectly. Never got far enough with the Superman and Lois show to see that Lex but tbh it doesnt seem interesting to me.

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman probably has the best onscreen Lex Luthor imo. He is a rich fuck who has convinced everyone he is a philanthropist and a good person. Jon Shea plays him so well. There is a little goofiness but enough to make him more disturbing than clown-ish like Gene Hackman’s was. This version shows what I love from Lex Luthor. He could be a real life villain. We have so many billionaire assholes who do not care for us. The fucking Elon Musks of the world. This version reflects that perfectly and really delved into Lex’s fucked up psyche of why he hates Superman despite not even knowing him all that well.

Nicholas Hoult in his two moments in the trailer immediately conveyed that he is going to be a serious threat but I can sense there will be some goof to him but not enough to ruin his legitimacy. I LOVE that he’s rich in this version too because what makes him a great villain is Superman cant use his powers to put him in jail. Not without breaking the law because Lex being the rich fuck that he is can just bribe himself to safety.

I also just love this close up of him

It’s giving rich kid whose dad gave him the wrong rolex vibes and that is EXACTLY who Lex Luthor is.

He hates the idea of anything being more powerful than him. He has the ultimate small man insecurities and makes it a dick measuring contest between himself and Superman. Whatever somewhat legit fears he has of an all powerful being is overshadowed by his xenophobia of Superman being an alien and his own small pee pee feelings.

This trailer is just so wonderful I’ll def have more rants to come. My brain is still processing tbh. Little at a time.

[nerdygaymormon]

In thr garden of eden why would god force Adam and eve to disobey him in order to move forward and keep all his commandments? Why wouldn't he just give them the choice of whether or not to eat the fruit (like maybe offering it to them and they can say yes or no) without commanding them to not do it? God being all knowing, he knows Satan will coerce eve and she'll eat the fruit anyway. I'm mormon and so confused about that part

You're on the right track in that these stories were written to get us to ponder their meaning, what are we supposed to learn from them, what lessons about life can we glean?

Here’s one thing to remember, no one has come up with a satisfactory explanation, it’s left a quandary for us to puzzle over.

I think most Christians view the Fall as a mistake, that we were all meant to live in the Garden and have idyllic lives. That certainly is not the LDS viewpoint.

As Latter-day Saints we have 5 versions of this story: 2 in Genesis, 1 in the Book of Moses, 1 in the Book of Abraham, and the 1 presented in the temple endowment. They differ from each other and the things we can learn from each of them differs accordingly.

There’s two main LDS theories I’ve heard taught. The first is that people are here on earth to learn and grow, how can this happen without choices to make? By giving conflicting commandments, God is forcing Adam and Eve to choose.

The other main LDS theory is that God created them perfect and for them to experience the sufferings and degenerative effects of mortal life and death, God didn’t impose it on them, they had to choose it in exchange for the opportunity to grow and progress. I think this idea is a bit problematic for people who believe Adam & Eve are historical and were the first humans, why would Adam & Eve get to make that choice for everyone? But if we think of them as symbolically representing humankind, then we chose to come to earth and encounter the hardships of mortal life for the opportunity to progress to become like God.

There’s some other theories. One fits with Elder Oaks’s recent conference talk that there are some commandments which are temporary and some which are permanent. Not partaking of the fruit was a temporary commandment, thus the conflict was going to be temporary. One version of the story says God will return with further instructions. Perhaps those instructions would include in what circumstances and timeline they were to partake of the fruit, but then Satan showed up and convinced them to do it now.

Another theory is it was done this way to demonstrate that when we’re faced with a decision, choose to be more like God even if it isn't the easier path. Eve chose to be more like God even if that brought suffering and death. We are all going to die in the end, so focus on choosing to become more like our heavenly parents.

In life, we are all going to have hard decisions to make, choose the higher law. Love is the highest law (see what Jesus said about the two greatest commandments). Eve chose love for God by wanting to be like Him. When Adam was faced with the decision, he chose love for Eve, he ate so he could remain with her.

Maybe another way to understand the predicament of Adam & Eve in the Garden is that life isn’t simple and predictable. Our understandings are limited and what we think is the correct thing to do and what we understand God wants for us can change as we get more experience/knowledge.

I hope I gave you some ideas to explore. Going beyond why would God give them conflicting commandments, what else can we learn from the story of Adam and Eve? You may be interested in some of my thoughts from this post and this one.

[apomaro-mellow]

Two in the Bush 8

Part 7

Steve’s wardrobe options had gotten more limited as his belly grew, but he tried not to feel some type of way about it. He was still able to dress in a nice shirt and pants and not look too out of place when they brought him to the restaurant. An upscale kind of place that made him wonder how they’d found this place.

“Some guy I know works here”, Billy said as they were taken to their table.

“And he admits that to other people?”, Eddie gasped.

“Watch it, Munson. I’m trying to be nice.”

Steve smiled. He had to admit, just a few months ago, Billy would’ve just decked Eddie and be done with it, ruining the mood and their night. The fact that the three of them were even doing something like this. A date was different than just going out to eat. This was both Eddie and Billy showing their intentions with Steve, and thus their intentions with his pup.

Conversation flowed easily between the three of them, it always did. Eddie was naturally talkative, as was Steve. Billy was less so, but he surprised Steve with what he said sometimes. It made Steve realize he was a good listener.

“So about that one guy…”, Eddie started as their appetizers were replaced with their entrees.

“The alpha redhead or the blonde beta?”, Steve asked.

“Redhead”, Eddie answered.

“You mean Manfred?”, Billy asked.

Eddie snapped his fingers. “Manfred! Yeah! He came in again, trying to micromanage and shit.”

“Isn’t that the same guy who couldn’t tell he was driving on bald tires? And he couldn’t remember which mother gave birth to which kid?”

“The very same! Tires bald as hell and shuffling around like he knows shit.”

“Speaking of kids”, Billy said as he looked to Steve. “You thought of names yet?”

“I’ve thought of several. But I’m not really gonna know until I’m holding them in my arms.” Steve smiled, bringing a hand down to his bump. “I did decide on the names you guys are involved in.”

“Oh?”, Eddie leaned in, intrigued.

Steve nodded, smiling at him. “Whoever the real sire is, the baby will get their last name.” Then he looked at Billy. “And whoever isn’t the father, will get to give them a middle name.”

Billy blinked in surprise. “You’d do that?”

“It only seems fair”, Steve said, looking at the both of them. “Only one of you is the father by blood but you’ve both taken care of me and this pup.”

They went with Steve to doctor appointments whenever they could. They helped him modify his diet, even foregoing some things just so Steve didn’t get jealous. They had massaged his back and feet to relieve aches. Steve had been prepared to do this with just himself and Robin. But with two extra hands, the load was much lighter.

Steve found himself staring at them both more and more. He knew he was lucky, so incredibly lucky. To have not just one but two alphas vying for his hand and fatherhood of his pup. There were plenty of alphas who turned tail at the first mention of the word ‘baby’. Eddie and Billy had not only NOT turned away. They ran at Steve in full force. After dessert, Steve watched them split the bill and then they were on their way home.

He was feeling satisfied in a way he hadn’t in a while. And he didn’t miss the way their gazes lingered on him. Steve wasn’t completely surprised that guys had stopped coming up to him in public. A prominent belly didn’t do much for his dating prospects. And he had gained weight in other places as well. He told himself he was still a catch and that after having the baby he could get right back out there. But sometimes when he looked in the mirror, it was harder to convince himself of that.

The way Billy and Eddie looked at him though, were looking at him right now, it was the same way they always did. It carried the same heat, the same desire. There was a small voice in the back of his head. The one that tried to keep him from making bad decisions. But as they got back home and started towards the stairs, it got quieter and quieter. Steve had forgotten why this was a bad idea in the first place.

Before the other two could part ways to go to their respective rooms, Steve cleared his throat, making them pause. Steve stood at the door of his own room.

“Do you two…wanna come in?”

They entered wordlessly, Billy on him in seconds, lips on his and hands in his hair as Eddie closed the bedroom door. Then Steve felt a warmth at his back that could only be Eddie.

“You sure about this?”, he whispered as he kissed his ear.

Steve broke away from Billy’s mouth to nod. “I’m sure. I know it.”

“What about Robin?”, Billy asked, already unbuttoning Steve’s shirt.

“She’s out. Won’t be back until morning.” She’d told him as much when Steve told her about this date. And at the time, he had assured her there was no need. But she’d given him a look, full of meaning. She knew him better than he knew himself. 

“Then we’ve got all night”, Billy grinned, showing his teeth.

Eddie brought his own teeth out, nipping at Steve’s ear and the back of his neck. He was surrounded on all sides but he didn’t feel caged in. No, he felt embraced. One hand went to Billy’s jaw while the other reached behind, bringing Eddie’s arm around him. As the fell together into bed, a different voice became louder and louder in Steve’s mind.

A voice that said this was the best idea he ever had.