#like that's what he was doing. he showed up so he could convince people they were wrong

[goatgoesmbe]

tw : reader implied to have social anxiety, stalking

Shortfic

Word count: 1808

rated: T

TF141 x f!reader

Hearts in the Chat

This wasn't something you usually do, reaching out to strangers, seeking friends, socializing. It was only online, sure-- but you couldn't the way your heart racing so hard you could feel it in your throat, your palms felt sweaty as you contemplated on clicking the link.

A discord server.

A public one at that.

Dedicated for people who took a liking on this FPS game you just got obsessed with. It was a pretty popular game, so you spent a lot of time looking for the one where it wouldn't be too crowded as to not overwhelm you. And surprisingly, you managed to find one.

It took you a few days fot it, scrolling at a few accounts that seemed to know each other very well. You tried to convince yourself that you weren't being creepy. After all, you followed one of them because you liked their posts which was mostly about games he recently played that you were also interested in, and also posts about a glimpse of his life. GazH8Heli.

You thought the guy was cool, definitely someone you wanted to get to know more.

But of course, you didn't have the courage to reach out.

Until.. today.

You saw his conversation in post replies about a gaming server which was opened for the public, even though the link wasn't shown in any post. Just told once in this particular reply.

Again, this wasn't something you usually do. You were content in being by your loneself with video games as your only companion.

But, this game you're recently obsessed with is a multiplayer game. And you were starting to get frustrated playing on random with strangers who couldn't cooperate.

Though, there is also a slight hope to find some kind of connection with someone. You were starting to get really lonely despite what you told yourself.

Just then you told yourself 'fuck it' and clicked on the link. Your heart racing so fast now that you felt nauseous-

"Welcomee..!!!" A message popped up on the screen, followed by the others who also welcomed you.

You fidgeted with the hem of your pajamas as you watched the chat greeting you. It seemed like searching for a smaller server wasn't really a good idea. You should've expected this, for people to interact instead of ignoring a user who weren't their friends.

It seemed like there were four members who are active currently. CapBravo6 welcomed you first with a simple message, followed by the guy you followed-- greetoing you in a more friendly manner by including heart emoji. The other one, Sexysoap69, spammed the chat with various silly gifs saying 'welcome' and you couldn't help but giggle. There was also a user who was seen as active but didn't appear in chat, GhostSRK9.

They didn't show their faces on their icons (if Soap's mohawk didn't count), but from the vibes alone you could tell they were all guys who already know each other well.

You already feel like hiding at the thought of simply replying to their warm welcome, but you would overthink about it and feel even more horrible if you just ignored them. And so, you sent a message "Hello everyone, thank you for the welcome ^^"

You clicked sent before you could change your mind or overthink about how well the simple reply would be received. Fuck, you thought the emoji was nice, but now you read it again, it looked like you were trying too much-

Fortunately, the message was well received. too well..

Soap replied with a gif of a cartoon kissing the camera, while the others reacted to your reply with heart emojis.

And you realized that you've been smiling. God, you feel pathetic.

"How did you find this server?? 👀" Gaz asked. It was a simple question really, not a big deal. But you were starting to feel anxious again, like you were being interrogated for some kind of crime.

You couldn't think of anything better to say than the truth. "I actually found it in your social.. i hope it's okay, sorry"

And before you could overanalyze your own reply again, another message came. "Don't worry about it, I assume you're here because of the game then?" Gaz asked again, while you see Soap has been typing for a while now.. but hasn't sent anything more except for the previous gifs. You were thinking about being more considerate and letting Soap send his message first, but Kyle's message got your attention.

At his question, your fingers immediately danced on the keyboard. You proceeded to ramble about said game, your experience playing, how you've been up to date with every news about it, and a bit of bragging about your rank.

When you were done, you felt your heart sink when you saw that you practically just sent a whole essay. But before you could think anything bad about it- and yourself, the four reacted to it with various emojis. You found yourself smiling again.

"You gotta be lying about your rank.. no way" Gaz's message said.

"Yeah! Even Ghost's isn't that high" Soap added. You audibly giggle at this since you expected a longer message from how long he had been typing previously.

Despite being so very anxious earlier, you found yourself getting along with them just fine.

"I'm not lying, i just play a lot.." You contemplated on adding that it was because you have no life, but decided against it since you felt like it would be too self-deprecating for the first interaction.

"Prove them wrong, then" Price sent, the second message since the first one greeting you from when you just got in.

Despite your hands that were a bit shaky from both anxiety and excitement, you quickly opened the game and took a screenshot of your profile before sending it to the server.

There were a lot of typing from their side before a message appeared.

"Just checked, it's real" Gaz sent before adding another one after. "Sent a friend request too ;)" You were ashamed to blush at the emoji.

Soap sent another barrage of gifs. "Sent one too" He added after.

"Same here" Price chimed in.

Even Ghost finally appeared in the chat with a screenshot of him sending the request in the game.

You were definitely not used to this. Interacting with people so easily like you've known them for a while, and how well they received you, bombarding you with attention.

Once again, you felt pathetic for being giddy at something other people probably think as normal.

"Okay.. just accepted them all, thank you ^^" You sent it without second thought for some reason, which you immediately regret. What were you thanking them for? well.. for being really nice, but does it show how lonely you have been?

It doesn't seem so from their replies which were still very positive.

And that's how you find yourself spending more time socializing online, comparing to before where video games were your only friend.

Days passed, and eventually you started getting less nervous talking to them. You haven't got to the stage where you started a conversation first, but you were not as shy as before when replying now. You didn't consider yourself to be active in the server, but they made sure you were.

While you never send a message first, they always tag you in every conversation. Which made you feel like it would be rude to not respond.

The conversation started like how it was at first, talking about the game you've been obsessed with lately. But eventually it turned to something more personal.

You learned that they were in the military together, coworkers. Though the details seemed to be classified. They never talked about it, but from their conversation alone you assumed as much.

There were channels in the server dedicated to conversations unrelated to the game. Memes channel was mostly dominated by Soap like he just sent everything he found funny there, while Gaz who actually sent something funny once in a while. There were creative space which also dominated by Soap, and you always replied to each of his drawings with compliments. How could you not when he tagged you every time he drew something. Not that you minded, he was a great artist.

The pictures channel was your favorite because you can see a glimpse of who they are. Price liked to send pictures of beautiful sceneries, Gaz sent photos he took that you would definitely add to your interest board, while Soap updated everyone randomly like a few times he posted pictures of him washing his hands in the sink with the following message "Just took a shit". You found yourself laughing at it every time despite the other's complaints.

Even Ghost was more active (as much as he was) in that channel. Sending pictures of the others sleeping without them knowing (mostly Soap) and photos of a military dog without any words said. Her name was Riley and you adored her.

And there was a vent channel, which was mostly Price scolding them for pulling pranks on him and the others. Soap would whine about injuries he got which made you really concerned, but based on the other's reactions, it seemed like a normal occurrence.

On some days, you were tempted to send something to that channel. To talk about stuff that's been bothering you. But you always found yourself deleting the long essay you wrote.

Though, eventually enough, their friendliness made you want to share more about yourself.

"Just think the moon is pretty.. even though my phone can't really capture it, haha" You sent a picture of the night sky one day after multiple times fixing the message.

You still felt silly about sending said pictures, but you tried to convince yourself that the others were doing the same so it wasn't a big deal, shouldn't be a big deal.

"Not as bonnie as you ;)" You saw Soap replied immediately which distracted you from your thoughts.

You didn't see anyone else replying unlike usual, but they still left emojis on said pictures so you paid it no mind.

"You don't even know what i look like XD" You sent with a giggle.

There wasn't an immediate response from anyone which was a bit odd.. but you kept telling yourself to stop overthinking everything.

Unaware of the red light being on beside your front camera, meaning that it had been on for a while.

"The way you type is bonnie" Soap finally sent, but it was lacking gifs and emojis like he was quick to send it.

"Haha, what does that even mean.." You replied, oblivious as ever.

"Just.. how we think a pretty girl would talk like" Gaz chimed in as Soap was shown to be typing for a while now.

"Lol, okay then"

THIS got longer than it should be- so Im gonna put the rest in other chapters

Next (soon)

open taglist : @partiallysame, @niazrzl, @iiriam, @sweetlike-sugarplum, @mordacioust, @boogeysmoth, @little-mini-me-world, @sxnshinebxcky, @thethingfromtheblacklagoon, @lady-red-night-1234

[lynnieverse]

you are in love // drew starkey

oneshot

drew stakery x popstar!reader

part two to like real people do

2.3k words

Things were going great, amazing even. Drew was so sweet, and you two had been getting to know each other slowly but surely until he finally asked you to be his girlfriend. It was adorable; he decorated his entire house with dahlias––your favorite flower––and cooked you dinner. Of course you said yes, and you’d been spending as much time together as possible ever since. It’s been six months, and life is bliss; it’s safe to say you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

But now, you’re nervous for a totally different reason. The first concert of a tour is always anxiety inducing. 

Will they like the setlist? 

Did we plan enough choreography? 

Is it flashy enough? 

Does the set look okay? 

Did we rehearse enough? 

What if I mess up?

All sorts of questions fly around your mind, assaulting your nerves and making you nauseous. You pace back and forth in your dressing room, fidgeting with the sequins on the bodice of your first outfit. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the large mirror on the wall; you’re perfectly put together––hair straightened, lips painted a deep red––but you feel anything but on the inside. You can feel the blood rush in your ears, vein on your neck thumping erratically to the rhythm of your heartbeat. Feeling the panic build in your chest, you fumble for your phone, quickly dialing the one person you know can help. 

“Hey baby,” Drew’s voice crackles through the speaker after two rings. You let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes in relief. 

“Hi,” you whisper softly. 

“What’s wrong?” he immediately asks. You let the smooth sound of his voice work its way into your psyche, calming you down immediately. 

“Nothing now, I was just nervous, first show and all.” You put him on speaker, setting your phone on the vanity so you can tug on your boots. You’d sent all the stylists, makeup artists, and assistants out of the room a while ago, wanting to have a moment of quiet before the storm. 

“You’re going to do amazing, Y/N. You’ve rehearsed until you bled, and everyone is going to love it.” You nod along to his words, trying to convince yourself.

“You promise?” 

“I swear.”

“I wish you could be here,” you know it’s selfish, but you pout anyway. He had agreed to his filming schedule before you’d even gotten together, and your tour dates have been planned for over a year, so him missing the first show was just how the cards played out. It sucks, but you understand; you’re both very busy, and he already moved things around to come to your show in L.A., even if it is months away. 

“I wish I could too, baby. I’m cheering you on from set, I’m even going to find a livestream to watch.” Your heart flutters, something that always happens when he does anything related to you, apparently. You’re about to reply when a sharp knock at the door interrupts you. 

“Come in!” you call, zipping up your boot. The door cracks open, Amara’s face popping in through the gap. You smile at her; she’s been the best assistant and friend today. 

“Hey, Y/N, they’re ready for you.” 

“Fuck, okay. Thank you, I’ll be right there.” Amara nods and softly closes the door behind her as she leaves. You pick up your phone and prepare your goodbye. 

“Hey sorry, they’re calling me to the stage.”

“Okay, baby. Knock ‘em dead, okay?” You laugh lightly, shaking your head. 

“You know most people say ‘break a leg’?” 

“Well I’m not most people.” You can practically feel his smirk through the screen. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I have to go, but I’ll talk to you after the show?” 

“Of course.” You smile at that.

“Alright. Bye, have fun shooting.”

“Bye, baby, love you.” You freeze as the line goes dead, staring at your screen in shock. He just said ‘love you’. Drew just said he loves you! Holy shit. Do you call him back? That had to have been an accident, right? Neither of you have even broached that topic yet, and you certainly didn’t expect him to say that over the phone. As you’re debating a response, frantic knocks shake you out of your panic. Guess that’s it then.

With no time to demand an explanation, you tuck your phone in your purse and exit the dressing room. As soon as you step into the hallway you’re engulfed by the chaos. People are flying around, doing last minute touches, and everything just seems like a blur around you. Amara appears, and without speaking she grabs your arm and tugs you towards the side stage. 

“Okay, here’s your mic,” she rushes out, handing you the glittery pink microphone. “Ears,” she wraps the wires around the back of your neck, letting you put on the earpiece while clipping the matching microphone pack behind you discretely. “You know the setlist, everything is running perfectly. The only thing you need to do is calm down and sing, okay?” Amara’s eyes are wild, no doubt from the high energy environment they’d fallen victim to today. 

You smile at her brightly, squeezing her shoulders in thanks. “It’s going to be great, just relax.” She nods her head, messing with your hair for a moment before leaning back and admiring the look. 

“Alright, break a leg!” You snort at the irony, thinking of Drew. Amara pushes you into the little elevator under the stage and gives you one more reassuring smile before leaving you to your thoughts. You take in a few deep breaths, running through your pre-show affirmations quickly before the platform starts to rise. With the jerk of the machinery, you plaster a show stopping smile on your face and pose, hand on your hip and microphone by your lips. 

The farther you rise, the louder the screams sound in Nissan Stadium. You feel the joy bubble in your chest, the opening notes to your first hit song playing in your ear piece. The metronome clicking feels like home, guiding you on when to start. 

The screams get significantly louder when you stand, finally on stage, smoke surrounding you. They can only see your silhouette, but it’s enough. You hear the countdown in your ear and as it hits ‘one’, you start singing. 

I don’t mind

Letting you down easy, but just give it time

If it don't hurt now then just wait, just wait a while

You're not the big fish in the pond no more

You are what they're feeding on

The lights illuminate the pit, letting you make eye contact with countless fans, waving enthusiastically as your voice rings throughout the room. You catch a few silly signs, internally laughing at your fans’ creativity. 

So what are you gonna do

When the world don't orbit around you?

So what are you gonna do

When the world don't orbit around you?

Ain't it fun?

Living in the real world

Ain't it good?

Being all alone

Your eyes sweep over the crowd, watching as they eat up every move you make. Your background dancers twirl around you, perfectly in sync and effortlessly hitting every mark. You make your way down the stage, belting Ain’t It Fun as you do. You reminisce on the first time you sang this song live, in a small run down bar in Nashville, when you were only sixteen. Look how far you’d come. 

Don't go crying to your mama

'Cause you're on your own in the real world

Don't go crying to your mama

'Cause you're on your own in the real world

You clap your hands above your head, encouraging the crowd to do the same. They immediately mimic you, the sound penetrating your earplugs. You realize you’re tearing up, completely overcome by the love and support from your fans. 

You finish by striking a pose, the lights cutting off and leaving the entire stadium in almost complete darkness. You step back, standing on your mark as the crew hurriedly brings out a microphone stand and your guitar. You feel the strap being slipped around your shoulders, and grip the neck softly. When you’re alone on stage again, the lights gradually brighten, revealing your smiling face once again. You let the crowd cheer for a minute before stepping up to the microphone. 

“Well hello, Nashville!” You say loudly, placing your hands on your hips. The screams make you laugh, your eyes traveling up to the nosebleeds and all the way back down to the pit. The energy is electric, pride swelling in your chest. 

“I hope you’re ready for the fantastic show we have planned for you!” More screams sound before you continue. You go through your prepared speech, introducing and thanking all the dancers, back up singers, and members of your band that had toured with you since day one. Your eyes flick over to the VIP section briefly, looking for your parents. Your stomach drops as your eyes connect with the familiar blue ones you’ve come to adore. 

Drew is here, and Madelyn is smirking beside him. Your heart swells and you almost want to cry, completely filled with love for this man. You know you look ridiculous, mouth gaped open, but you don’t care. He’s here. Drew smiles at you, arms crossed loosely. You quickly try to recover, turning back to the crowd. 

“I have to be honest with you all,” a hush falls over the crowd. “Someone I care about very deeply is here tonight.” The yelling starts, and you start strumming your guitar while looking at Drew. 

“He surprised me, and so I hope you don’t mind if I change things up a bit.” More cheers, and a confused look from Drew puts a mischievous grin on your face. You glance back at your crew and nod once, hopefully sending the message to hold off on the next song. 

“This is a new song, one I wrote for this person specifically.” Drew stares at you in awe, Madelyn jabbing him in the ribs and laughing maniacally. You can see dozens of fans glancing back at him with their phones up, obviously recording his reaction to your words. You two hadn’t gone public by any official means, but there’d been talk, and this certainly confirmed things. 

“I guess the only thing left to say is…right back at you,” Drew scrunches his eyebrows before realization sets in and he’s right back to smiling. You step back and start playing the chords louder, starting the song. You keep eye contact between you, wanting him to really hear your words. 

One look, dark room

Meant just for you

Time moved too fast

You play it back

Buttons on a coat

Light-hearted joke

No proof, not much

But you saw enough

Small talk, he drives

Coffee at midnight

The light reflects

The chain on your neck

He says, "Look up"

And your shoulders brush

No proof, one touch

But you felt enough

You know he’s remembering every single moment you’ve mentioned, eyes sparkling as he sways to the sound of your voice. 

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

You are in love

His lips part, time standing still. Suddenly it’s only the two of you and no one else. The words ring true. You love him. You have for a while. 

Morning, his place

Burnt toast, Sunday

You keep his shirt

He keeps his word

And for once, you let go

Of your fears and your ghosts

One step, not much

But it said enough

You kiss on sidewalks

You fight and you talk

One night he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says

You're my best friend

And you knew what it was

He is in love

Madelyn covers her mouth with her hands, jumping up and down excitedly. Drew is still locked in place, seemingly not able to take his eyes off of you. You wink at him and he laughs, shaking his head at you. 

And so it goes

You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round

And he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown

And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words

'Cause you can hear in the silence

You let the silence linger, letting the cheers wash over you, feeling all the love you have for Drew simmering beneath the surface. 

You can feel it on the way home

You can see it with the lights out

You are in love, true love

You are in love

You finish out the song, singing happily to the man of your dreams, and everyone knows it now too. You feel unstoppable, completely charged like you always are in his presence. Drew discretely wipes his eyes, causing your own eyes to prickle. ‘I love you too’ you mouth, blowing him a kiss. He beams, nudging Madelyn happily. 

With one last lingering look, you turn your attention back to your adoring fans, smiling cheekily. “Thank you, thank you! How about we get back to the show?” you ask, giggling slightly before immediately going into an acoustic version of gold rush. You love your fans, but all you can think about for the rest of the concert is throwing your arms around Drew and kissing him senseless. And after the encore and the bows, you do just that…going home with the man you love.

[ragde890]

Chainsaw Man #194 analysis

So... Chainsaw Man 194.

I can't help but think about Power with the first scene. Two chapters ago, Denji mentioned her. And now we've got a first page very reminiscent of the composition of chapter 71 —almost mirroring it.

It doesn't end there, however. I find the next page is also reliving —in this cycle Denji seems to be trapped in— the "Bat Devil Arc" (chapters 4-12).

Back then, Denji was in a very similar state to his current one. He found his life empty and meaningless and his trauma, simple thinking, lack of socialization and toxic relationship with society, sex, gender and himself led him to gaslight himself into believing that what he really needed was sex. During his whole "rescue Nyako" thing, for example, despite the fact that he obviously felt empathy towards Power and wanted to help her because he could relate to her feelings (having lost Pochita himself), he still gaslit himself into believing he was "only doing it for boobs". In fact, Denji thinking about himself as some kind of unfeeling monster or animal (or dog, as he was called by the Yakuza and Makima alike), trying to interpret anything in terms of "biological needs" is a self-destroying attitude that has persisted until now.

The only difference with that and his current way of thinking is that now he's at the very least self-conscious (although he is still unwilling to accept the times he's been a victim of SA and blames himself from it/is trying to convince himself he has/should have like it.), and the trauma is much bigger.

Then, the immediate page after this opening displays something that was already shown in the "Bat Devil Arc".

Denji, despite being hypersexual, stuck in a loop of death and violence, and in the case of these last chapters, pretending he can live "like a Devil", is not at his core a bad person. He cares about consent, he values the people around him, he doesn't wish harm.

Fujimoto feels the need to reiterate this because we've seemed Denji do fucked up shit these last chapters (eating the tree people, "enjoying" Yoru's destruction and killing spree) and we're probably gonna see even more.

In the next pages, we see that he's well-aware of how fucked up the situation is, but his casual demeanour shows that he's not really facing how *serious* the situation really is: like he doesn't want to truly face reality.

Again, we turn to the omnipresence of Fire . First in the news, that show the destruction caused by both Yoru and the Fire Devil, and then, a bit subtler, with Denji cooking Gyozas —with the paneling emphasising the fire on the stove.

The next page yet again reinforces Denji's new (old, in fact, but I'm referring to its post chapter 183 version) mindset of living like an animal/devil: caring only about "sensory pleasures" like eating, sleeping or sex.

It also makes the yuxtaposition of "everyday life" and destruction/apocalypse that's been on for the last arc even more obvious.

After that, we get to the next scene.

Some people might have not noticed, but this "One month from now" dialogue is implying a timeskip. "Two weeks" in universe ago, Barem said "Half a year", so... When was the 5 month timeskip? After Denji was captured by PS? During this chapter, after the first scene (in which case, Asa was 5 months in the backseat?)? For now, it's a mystery. 

Right after that, we've got what looks like a callback to chapter 131, with Fami using what seems like the same kind of excuse Nayuta used back then. If we believe Fami is being honest here, then she was sincere as well in that interaction with Nayuta, and we'd finally have some characterization for her. It does indeed look like she's given up: she doesn't believe she can defeat the Death Devil anymore, so she's trying to enjoy what little life she has left (maybe even in *imitation* to Nayuta).

This next interaction with Yoshida is also interesting. He looks legitimately serious here. His "I'm no fun, huh?" is not one of his usual quips: he's genuinely agreeing to Fami's comment, and accepting as his reality.

Yoshida's painfully accepting that he's never had and will never have the fun/joyful live of a normal highschooler. Death will soon come and everything he'll have experienced are his practised smiles, fake connections and isolation. He's always been an outsider, unable to form connections with his peers, having shaped himself to be a Devil Hunter first and a human second (if at all). This is the alienating world he's chosen, that has forced him to cut all sensorial and social aspects of live. Until he is, as Fami described, no fun at all.

And he suffers all of this completely alone because the mask he's created for himself doesn't allow others to see the pain. He's shaped himself as a "necessary evil", a tool to serve PS, his whole existance defined by his job. He's one of the only main characters that take the treath of the Death Devil completely seriously. He wants the world to be saved, at the expense of his own life, because he wants to do the right thing (that's when he does "evil" things in order to "save the world", he still feels bad about it, like when he had to imprison Denji). But in order to do that, he has to sacrifice himself and his individuality. He believes live is about sacrifices, that wanting more than the choices you're given is selfish, that normalcy is about fitting in the box that's been constructed for you. A completely selfless, "lawful" ideology that goes completely against Denji's.

Yoshida craves human connection, but he can't get it at all, so he buries this need in books, tv and parasocial relations. Even when he tried having an actual connection with Denji, it didn't work at all. He's so painfully lonely and feels that's how it'll be forever. If anything, he acts as a perfect foil for Denji: both craving for actual human connections, and both adopting completely opposite but equally toxic mindsets to cope with the fact they can't get them. Both being forced into being used as tools, objects, but never people.

Then we get to the last scene. After a page of Yoru and Devil "hanging out" as devils, Asa finally takes control of her body again.

It's quite sad that even here, Denji still can't tell the difference of when it's Asa and when it's Yoru. That he still sees them as one big entity is very fucked up.

About Asa's situation right now, I don't know what'll happen. Her situation is as bad and traumatic as Denji's right now. Let's not forget that she's also been a victim of Yoru's SA (it was her body, after all), and she feels responsible for it. Not only that, but she's been forced to see how Denji completely disregards her to happily hang out with her abuser.

Furthermore, her entire motivation has "just" (depending on the precise location of the timeskip) been torn apart. All the stuff about "beating chainsaw man to save Denji" that Fami told her was pure lies, with Yoshida and Yumiko admitting that they want the War Devil to turn CSM into a weapon. She had convinced herself that saving Denji was her responsibility, her purpose, and now she's found out that she's just been used, and the situation just keeps worsening. What does she have left now?

For the record, I don't think she'll attack Denji next chapter. But it'll be as easy as talking it out either. This next arc will most surely be a tough one, as we're getting progressively closer to Part 2's climax.

[sevsgiirl]

— show her what you’re all about.

sevika x jealous!reader. men and minors dni.

synopsis: sevika didn’t think bringing you to one of her meetings with the chembarons would go south. then again, she probably should’ve mentioned that one of them happens to be her ex. something you didn’t take lightly when you found out.

word count: 4k words.

tags: jealousy, established relationship, margot is sevika’s ex, overstimulation, sub!sevika, top!reader, strap-ons, explicit sexual content.

note: this was inspired by lana del rey’s jealous girl hence the title reference, and also because I got a req from a reader requesting jealous sevika and although I’ll be coming back to that I wanted to do jealous reader first because I’m insane <3

it took a while for you to convince her to have you tag along at work.

it’s not that sevika was against it. if she could have an excuse to bring you with her wherever she went - whether it was to run one of silco’s collections or to ensure that some of his shipment got transferred smoothly - just as long as you’d be safe no matter what, why not?

but considering her job isn’t the safest, she’s had her doubts about letting the people in that part of her life know about her relationship at the risk of endangering you, and she’d rather be the one who gets harmed before anyone even touched a single hair on your head.

nevertheless, you persisted. telling her that people at the last drop were likely aware that she wasn’t single anymore. with her nights of gambling, drinking, and visiting the gardens becoming less frequent, they’ve probably begun to speculate that something, or rather someone, had snatched her away from her usual proclivities.

plus it’s not like you two have been discreet. on nights when sevika stayed out too late, stressed from the missions silco assigned her and where she felt the need to drink her problems away until it was well past midnight - you’d always be the one to go and fetch her from the bar.

even if you tried to convince yourself that no one had seen the two of you stumble out of the last drop together, chances were a wandering eye lurking in the shadows still managed to catch a glimpse or two.

fast forward to earlier this morning, sevika tells you that she’ll be the one taking over the assembly with the chembarons as silco had other matters to attend to.

knowing him, she already knew he was either off to make sure the enforcer who kept an eye on jinx’s sister was doing his job right, or to deal with jinx himself. as the girl couldn’t be left alone for more than five minutes without causing trouble.

and he would’ve brought sevika along hadn’t the chembarons insisted on doing a meet-up to discuss trade, shipment or stocks. which honestly, was something you didn’t bother knowing too much about.

it was common knowledge between you two that sevika’s way of living isn’t something that you agree with. it was a cesspool of violence but she’s disputed many times that the ends justify the means. that what she does for silco only works to propel zaun’s liberation and at that point, you could only keep your mouth shut because if there was one thing both of you could agree on is that the city deserved better.

for sevika, if that meant working under silco, no matter how questionable his strategies were, then sure. but it’s not like it was easy for you to let go of your lover every single day, dreading whether or not she’d come back home from work or not at all. that’s why you insisted on tagging along.

ever since the two of you met, sevika’s been the one to provide for you and that’s given you the luxury to stay at home. she’s given you the freedom to do whatever it is you want to do with your time while she’s gone, just as long as you don’t stray further away from home. but you’d be lying if you said that after a while, just being by yourself worrying if she’s okay while at work hadn't become isolating.

so you’ve been asking her for a while if you could come just to keep a watchful eye, which she turned down. even going as far as to laugh at the suggestion.

“baby,” she cooed “I don’t need you to keep an eye on me. I’m capable of looking after myself.”

you huffed “I know you can. it’s just that… it gets lonely sometimes, okay? and when it does I can’t stop myself from thinking about what weird crap silco’s put you through and if you’d be able to come out of it unharmed.” you explained “it doesn’t help that you come back some days so beaten up.“

“we’ll, you should’ve seen-“

“-the other guy. I know.” you sighed, cupping her cheek “I just get worried, vika.”

sevika couldn’t deny her heart squeezed at your words. no one’s expressed that much concern over her. she’s always been expected to bite the bullet in almost all situations - her left arm, or rather the lack thereof, being a prime example of that.

no one’s felt the need to offer anything beyond the usual ‘are you good?’ whenever she got herself into a dilemma, so to say it was hard to accept that your constant fussing stemmed from a place of genuine love and worry, would be an understatement. it felt disorienting. she wasn’t used to it.

but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel flattered. so after a while, she had finally caved in and brought you with her to the assembly. walking alongside her hand in hand as you strode through the eerie corridors of the last drop’s headquarters, walking into the elevator as sevika opened the heavy metal doors for you to step through.

she gripped your hand tightly on the journey up to the assembly room “if it gets overwhelming or uncomfortable, you tell me, okay?” she said in a soft but commanding voice.

you nuzzled closer to her and kissed the underside of her jaw “yes, boss.” you replied playfully.

she scoffed and rolled her eyes, but when you looked, the slight curve of a smile teased at the corners of her mouth.

you were glad that she brought you on this specific day where silco was absent because although you’d never admit it, that man scared the living daylights out of you. you’ve had your fair share of interactions and as far as you know, he was the only one out of the people sevika worked with who’s always known about your relationship, he just never commented on it.

he’d briefly acknowledge you whenever he’d see you at the last drop but that was about it. aside from that, you had no intention of knowing more about the notorious drug lord and even though sevika told you he’s the last person you should be afraid of, you found it hard to believe.

but as you arrived at the top and walked into the assembly room where the chembarons were all gathered, perhaps sevika was right when she said silco wasn’t even the worst one out of all of them. when your eyes scanned the room, you could only squirm from where you stood as the scrutinizing gazes of the chembarons shifted between your partner and you.

one of them a grotesque, wrinkly rodent with a ridiculous top hat and sharp claws eyed you and chortled “who’s this, magpie? your new arm candy or something?” he gestured to you, his words degrading “where’d you find her? at the gardens? you can only get a pretty little thing like that from down there.”

you scowled at the implication and before you could give him a piece of your mind, sevika beat you to it “fuck off, smeech. we’re here to discuss business. not so you could run that mouth of yours talking shit you don’t know about.”

you felt her flesh hand squeeze your waist and you quickly relaxed, her protectiveness never failing to soothe you.

she turned to look at you and cocked her at the corner “you can sit there for me, baby. this won’t take long.” she muttered and you nodded. your hand stroking her forearm one last time before you let her go and made your way to the side of the room where a dusty velvet couch was situated.

you sat silently as you watched sevika start the meeting. all the while, you felt a hot, piercing gaze drill holes into the side of your head and when you looked up, you caught one of the chembarons watching you. her elbow on the table and her chin prompted on her knuckles, she stared at you with a heated glare that made your skin prickle because really, what the fuck was she looking at you for?

she was a petite, pale-skinned woman with blonde hair that had green dye at the tips. four metal piercings could be seen on her forehead along with a clasp around her nose and two more piercings below her lips. her outfit was revealing, a black sleeveless top that showed off the deep plunges of her neckline that was only accentuated by the choker around her neck.

she wore black eye shadow and you couldn’t deny that the baroness exuded a seductive aura, her thin lips forming into a mocking grin when she noticed the way you ogled at her appearance.

you quickly turned away, uncomfortable by the unwanted attention and no wonder sevika didn’t want to bring you along to these things. the atmosphere was too unsettling and you couldn’t help but fidget from where you sat, wanting the hours to pass by already and it seemed as though sevika felt the same.

with an exasperated look on her face, the chembarons kept probing her about silco’s absence, specifically the hideous rodent from earlier “how are we even supposed to take this shit show seriously when he let one of his goons do his dirty work for him?” he said, his tone condescending.

sevika’s jaw clenched “I could care less if you want to listen to me or not, smeech. silco’s already made it clear that the lost inventory is going to be replaced and that you’ll get your money back. for now, we’ll just sign over an agreement with a deadline ensuring we’ll get the stolen cargo back.”

smeech took a hit from his cigar, the purple smoke billowing through the room and you couldn’t help but scrunch your nose at him “you better make sure, hot shot. silco’s been slipping lately and we all know it’s because of baby blue. who was the reason the firelights even got hold of the previous cargo that was misplaced, by the way.”

you remembered that incident, sevika came home that day the angriest you’ve seen her, your thighs involuntarily clenching at the memory of the rough sex that ensued when you offered to take her mind off it.

sevika grunted at the reminder “we told you that was the first and last time. jinx lost her shit. end of story.”

“oh come on, smeech.” the blonde baroness chimed in “you could tell darling sevika here is doing her best. so lay off her, will you? she’s more than just silco’s number two. plus she knows better than to be just some lost, kicked puppy who follows the big man around. not knowing how to be her own person.” her eyes were on you as she said the closing statement, and your eyebrows furrowed. excuse me?

however, sevika was oblivious to the subtle jab thrown at you. muttering to the baroness that sat near her “thanks, margot.” so that was her name.

you couldn’t help the ugly, prickly sensation that clogged your insides at the sight of them being friendly with each other. too friendly to be exact, given how sevika seemed to be fed up with the other chembarons.

meanwhile, her attitude towards margot held a stark difference that you just couldn’t ignore. it made you dig your nails on the sides of the couch, wanting to swallow back down the acid that suddenly churned in your throat. no, perhaps you were overreacting.

the assembly lasted for a couple more minutes until finally, sevika called it off. saying silco would be present in the next one and while the other chembarons got up to leave, margot lingered in her seat as sevika gathered the paperwork on the table.

standing up with a slight sway of her hips, your stomach twisted as you observed how she walked up to sevika and placed a tentative hand on her bicep. making your partner raise an eyebrow but making no move to shrug her off.

sevika wasn’t the type to make you jealous. she didn’t find any enjoyment in eliciting a reaction out of you by entertaining other people and you thanked her for that because although you’d never admit it, you were extremely prone to jealousy. so much so that the feeling swallows you whole and practically burns you alive. you hated the feeling more than anything.

which probably didn’t help that margot was relishing in bringing the green-eyed monster out of you. you stood up with your fists balled before you unclenched one of them to reach for the switchblade that was strapped to the holster just above your thigh.

it was something sevika gifted you on your birthday, a weapon to protect yourself with and although this wasn’t a situation you’d ever imagine you’d be using it, you couldn’t stop yourself. especially when margot dared to caress a finger over sevika’s arm, her intentions clear as day.

“how you’ve been sevika, my love? it’s been a while, no? I’ve missed you.” margot purred, grasping sevika’s bicep “I didn’t think you’d already moved on so quickly. especially since it wasn’t long since we, you know…”

your heart pummeled to the pits of your stomach. margot is her ex?

why the fuck didn’t she mention that to you? and it seems as though it wasn’t a big deal to sevika given how she only let out a tired breath at the baroness’s words “it was never serious, margot. I don’t know why-“

you didn’t even let sevika finish before your hand curled at the handles of your switchblade, your temper rising when margot didn’t cease with her invasion of sevika’s personal space and how sevika just didn’t make a move to fucking stop it.

without thinking, you grabbed the dagger in your hand and swung it across the room. the blade aiming directly between the small gap that separated the two as they jumped at the sharp object that suddenly flew past them and onto the wall, creating a noticeable dent.

your nostrils flared as sevika turned to you, her eyes wide but you dismissed her. you made your way towards them and glared menacingly at margot, but she seemed undeterred.

“I think the meeting’s already extended for far too long, don’t you think?” there was a bite to your tone that made her smirk.

margot’s gaze shifted between you and sevika before she let out a hum “hm, no wonder you chose this one.” she said before turning on her heel and walking out of the room.

your heartbeat was still pounding violently against your chest even when she left the room, the air thick with tension as you turned to sevika and she couldn’t mask her shock at the fiery look in your eyes. you look like you wanted to eat her alive and then spew her out.

“we’re talking about this when we get back home,” you said and sevika could only stay silent at the warning.

𐙚 ˙ ⋆ .˚

the apartment had never been more silent.

you trudged your way inside with sevika following close behind, tossing the keys onto a nearby table while the sounds of your footsteps echoed in the small space.

once the door closed and was clicked shut, you let out a stuttering breath when you finally turned to look at your perplexed partner.

she only stared back at you “can you tell me what the fuck happened earlier?” she asked and you could only laugh at how painstakingly oblivious she was. but at the same time, it agitated you because really?

“it’s one thing not to tell me that one of the chembarons you regularly meet up with happens to be your ex,” you began and the light bulbs inside sevika’s head finally lit up “but for you to allow her to get that chummy with you is another.”

she cringed at the slight edge of your tone. she’s never seen you this pissed off before.

“baby, it’s not-“

“not what? that important? or is it because I’m just not that important to you?” you hissed and she took a step back at your words because really, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

margot didn’t mean jackshit to her. they had sex on a few occasions and even tried the whole relationship thing until sevika realized they just weren’t compatible. it lasted about a month until they decided to call it quits. sure, they’d still hook up every once in a while back then but it immediately stopped as soon as you came into the picture.

but of course that wasn’t enough for you.

“you know she doesn’t mean anything. if she meant that much to me I would’ve told you and hell, I wouldn’t even acknowledge her. and even if she did mean something to me it’s not like I would’ve tried anything with her. what do you take me for?” she was genuinely shocked you’d even feel mildly threatened at the idea of margot stealing her away because that was about as plausible as her growing her arm back.

nevertheless, you weren’t pleased by her explanation “do you know how much it pissed me the hell off seeing that wench cozy herself up to you as if you two were still a thing?” you scoffed “she’s lucky that blade didn’t cut through her fucking skull.“

she’d never seen you act this way before, what’s more surprising is not that it was out of character, but that the sudden switch in your attitude turned her on.

she’s always perceived you as someone gentle and nurturing, the complete opposite of her who oftentimes lets her anger the best of her. you were never like that. you always made a point to approach things cordially. never violent. so to see the way that you’re acting now, almost leveling with her hostility made her core clench.

an undeniable heat pooled at her insides at the way you were looking at her as if you were ready to maul her.

“baby…” she took a step towards you, and you didn’t miss the shift in her tone “come on, look at me. she doesn’t mean anything. you’re the only girl for me. you know that.”

you didn’t budge even when she started pressing kisses down your throat, palms grabbing the meat of your hips as her tongue darted to lick your neck.

“hm… fuck. I never thought you’d be the type to get so jealous.” she muttered.

you scoffed “I’m not jealous.” you pushed at her chest, creating some distance between you two “why would I be jealous of someone I know could never compare to me?”

sevika hummed at that, grinning “then why are you so angry?”

your eyes squinted as you pulled her by the collar of her shirt and tugged her closer “because it seems like you forget sometimes.”

𐙚 ˙ ⋆ .˚

sevika grunted, squeezing your sides so tightly you were sure she’d be leaving bruises on your thighs, but despite that you didn’t falter with the frantic bouncing on her strap.

the bed creaked in a violent back and forth as you threw your head back and moaned, placing your hands on sevika’s shoulders while you continued to grind against her. the ridges of her cock sliding deliciously against your tight walls “t-that’s it, baby…” she rasped, her pupils blown wide at the sight of you using her to get off “god, your pussy’s taking me so fucking well.”

you let out a chuckle, your breathing labored “no one’s gonna be able to fuck you as good as I can, vika. I hope you know that.”

she nodded, hypnotized by the way your tits bounced in front of her face while the wet squelching of your folds filled the room.

the back of the strap continuously hitting her clit and she couldn’t suppress the groans that slipped past her lips when you showed no signs of slowing down “b-baby, I’m gonna cum, holy f-fuck.”

with that, you slid off her, not being able to contain the grin on your face at the way her eyes popped open when she realized you had suddenly stopped.

“w-what are you-“

“I don’t think you deserve to cum, actually,” you said as you glowered at her, fingers reaching down to play with your clit and sevika was about as close to losing her shit when you decided to play with yourself instead.

thumbing the hood of your clit before you slipped one to two fingers in, grinding against them while sevika desperately tried to pull you back down.

you jerked yourself away from her prying hands, shaking your head at her attempts to get you to ride her again “after the stunt you pulled today, not telling me about margot-“

“she doesn’t fucking mean anything!-“

“-and not stopping her when she flirted with you in front of me?” your tone was patronizing as you observed her panicked stricken face “what makes you think you deserve to cum?”

sevika didn’t know whether to lash out or cry at this point, but knowing you, you wouldn’t succumb to her pleas unless she gave you what you wanted.

“baby, p-please. I’ll never do it again. fuck every other girl who isn’t you, okay? I only want you. you and your tight fucking pussy. I don’t want anyone else. shit. the way you squeeze around me and the way you bounce on my cock, I’d rather fucking die than lose that.” she babbled and you bit your lip at how nonsensical she sounded.

you leaned down and slipped your tongue inside hers. humming as you kissed her slowly and her eyes fluttered shut at the taste of you while you drank her moans in.

without warning, you sank down on her once more and she immediately detached her mouth from yours to let out an obscene moan when you resumed riding her.

your pace frenzied and you stared at the way her heavy breasts moved with the speed of which you rode her. her fingers clawing at your hips as she aided you with your bounces.

“you feel so good f-fucking, vika. cock so big.” your eyes rolled at the back of your head, the build-up of your orgasm approaching meanwhile sevika took in the view of your flushed cheeks and parted lips.

she then started frantically bouncing you on her strap, making you scream while your juices dripped down from your thighs.

“v-vika, I’m gonna cum!-“

“that’s it, baby. cum for me. cream all over my cock.” she groaned as your body started trembling in her hold.

your orgasm hitting you like a punch in the gut and you couldn’t stop the cries that spilled out of you when sevika didn’t stop with her relentless thrusts.

practically using you as a fleshlight and your nails dug into her forearms when you started to feel overstimulated “v-vika, please, oh my god. b-baby stop, I c-can’t…”

“a bit more…” she stuttered, her pace never faltering “I’m so sorry, b-baby. you just feel s-so fucking good.”

after a few more minutes she joined you as she came, body shaking. you fell in her arms and hugged her loosely, her cunt gushing behind the harness around her hips, humming when you started leaving little bite marks around her jaw.

you two stayed like that for a while, just relishing in each other’s presence.

“I know I said I wouldn’t pull the same shit I did with margot earlier…” she mumbled in the crook of your neck “but I’d be lying if I said seeing you jealous didn’t turn me the fuck on. not to mention the sex. jesus.”

you could only let out a snort at her fucked out state “don’t push it. next time I might actually not let you come.”

“take back what I said then,” she said quickly, making you laugh as you held her close.

[matchalovertrait]

Aaand that's the end of Operation Fox! 🥳 Well done, team!! Thanks to the The Double Diamond agents of S.I.M.S. for showing us how it's done!

Start from the beginning (Gen 2)

Previous | Next

[It was Antonio knocking on the window! Once he got Dulce’s attention, he pointed at himself as if to say “it’s me!”]

DULCE: Antonio?? How???

[She opened the window to let him inside.]

[Antonio climbed through the window and that’s when Dulce noticed the... ledge? Thingy? Whatever that is. How’d he get up here? They’re on the second floor. Hold on, is he actually Spider-Man...]

ANTONIO: Why are you still here??? I was waiting for you to get out.

DULCE: I was getting the job done. I unlocked a safe and switched out the notebooks. We can go now.

ANTONIO: Oh. [Pause.] Well done.

DULCE: What were YOU doing? And what was all that noise in the hallways?

Story Time...

ANTONIO: Well before I did anything, I glanced at a tablet that one of the “guards” held. The idiots had their entire schedule on display, which confirmed my beliefs: They’re not actual, qualified ones. Meaning, they likely weren’t that threatening.

“DOG-WALKING GIG” “BUILD IKEA FURNITURE GIG” “PRETEND BOYFRIEND GIG” “TUTORING GIG” “FAKE SECURITY GUARD GIG”

ANTONIO: Still, I exercised caution. I stealthily walked to one of the rooms and closed it as loud as possible. Then, those two ran to the locked door and demanded I let them in. “Guests aren’t allowed in the rooms,” they said.

ANTONIO: I took a risk and posed as Caruso through the locked door. I do a surprisingly convincing Italian accent, by the way. I told them I was changing into a spare costume and to leave me alone.

ANTONIO: They wouldn’t budge at first and pounded at the door—I might’ve threatened to have Isabela deduct their pay. Anyway, they backed off but they got too quiet for my liking.

ANTONIO: I exited through the sliding door to access the ladder outside. I remembered the “blueprints” Matth- I mean “Fuego” had access to. I knew it was only a matter of time before “security” brought the real Caruso.. Or possibly Isabela, if she’s here.

ANTONIO: Once on the roof, I paced around and kept an eye out for you.

ANTONIO: I expected you to leave soon, but I didn’t see you. So, I made my way over here to check what was wrong. It was not easy getting down from the roof... there isn’t a ladder on this side.

DULCE: Well, we should go now if the guards have reported this! Come on!

[The two headed out the window, making sure to lock it to cover their tracks.]

DULCE: Wow, we’re so high up.

[Dulce smiled. It would be a dangerous climb, but the adrenaline was exhilarating.]

[They tried to make their way down quickly yet quietly once they saw some people in the backyard. Dulce was ever so grateful for her athleticism.]

DULCE: Careful now.

[Once they made it to the ground unharmed, they ran as fast they could to safety!]

[Antonio’s car was at a park about two miles away. They had to keep running.]

?: What are you doing?

[Who was that?! Dulce and Antonio turned their heads, ready for the next obstacle.]

[It was two girls talking to each other! What a relief.]

GIRL #1: I’m taking a break.

GIRL #2: The power turned back on! C’mon, let’s keep dancing.

DULCE: Oh my gosh! I think we made it out of this alive. Let’s get out of here for real!

ANTONIO: No need to tell me twice.

[astracora]

Drunken Confession - Rafayel

Characters: Rafayel x gn!mc

Warnings: Very Drunk MC and Rafayel, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2656

Written: 26th February 2025

Notes: Pre-relationship, with Rafayel and the main MC I write for. I am still feeling super soft from Raffy's birthday trailer, so this one is even more sappy.

Masterlist AO3

<- Caleb <-Zayne <-Xavier

Rafayel sulks, all through listening to Thomas talk. He had finally convinced you to come with him to an exhibit not as his bodyguard, and as his actual date. Though he hadn't quite used the words.

You hadn't really taken the offer overly seriously, he supposes the jovial tone he'd used hadn't lent itself to you hearing 'Just be my date for tonight, Cutie' as what he truly meant, 'Stay by my side forever'. You had agreed though, allowing him to pick you out an outfit to match his own.

Normally when you accompanied him, you kept your weapons at your side, and wore the same outfits he saw you fighting in. Too serious, too prepared to actually do the job he'd 'hired' you for. There were times he almost regretted that that was the only idea he could come up with, to keep you close. The first thought in his mind.

He'd had to think of something, after all. He just hadn't expected you to take it so seriously.

He'd be grouchy about his ability to protect himself, and you, if it weren't so delightful seeing you so willing to fight for him.

The moment he'd walked in with you, holding your hand tightly, fingers entwined, joy thrumming through his veins, he'd been excited for an exhibit. An odd feeling, his love for art, often tempered by the fact that it was his job. That his pursuit of inspiration through pain, meant to profit off the agony of his people, of his dying world.

A reminder every day, that he had gotten here off the backs of the lost.

Your presence brought him a sense of calm, he wanted to drown in. It had not lasted long, he'd been pulled away by Thomas to talk to people. Those who wanted to buy his works, those who wanted to talk his ear off over how they felt over his pieces. Those who simply wanted to be seen with him, for their own benefits.

An exhausting way to spend time, when instead he could be showing you his work, asking you what you thought. You'd given him that small uncomfortable smile, and pulled away, disappearing into the crowds, telling him you'd be fine.

He knows you won't be fine. You dislike crowds, the noises overwhelm and you want to avoid events like this. You come because you care, and you want to protect him as his bodyguard. Otherwise you'd rather visit him at the studio, watch him paint, or walk along the beach with him.

Rafayel would prefer that too.

He fidgets and looks around, as people are talking at him, trying to stifle his urge to yawn. He doesn't want yet another lecture from Thomas, that keeps him from your company a moment longer.

It's impossible to spot you, unable to find the flash of red in your outfit like Reddie's tail, or the white hair.

His patience wears thin, already stretched to its limits, fracturing and ready to snap at a moment. He has to get out of this droll conversation, with people he doesn't care about. Thomas is an exception, and even then, there are places he'd rather be. People he'd rather see.

"I need the toilet." Rafayel blurts out. If he wasn't ready to start a small fire just to get out of the conversation, he'd cringe inwardly at his choice of escape.

He really had to work on his spontaneous methods to solve problems.

Ignoring the looks he gets, and the sigh Thomas releases, he escapes. Running away like he's desperate, which he is. Just not for what they think.

Scouring the room, he eventually finds you, hidden away in a corner, rubbing at your arm, draining a glass of champagne you turn your nose up at. As you finish it, you scowl at it, like the taste has insulted you. He passes a waiter, slips him some money, takes the entire tray, and sneaks up behind you.

"Hey cutie, you here alone?" He speaks over your shoulder, watching as you jump, stepping back. You almost slip, before his hand takes your waist, pulling you closer, and steadying you.

When you see him, and see his smile, you smile back. Relieved, and saved.

He preens a little at the expression, at the warmth in your eyes. At the way you're comforted by him.

"I am. My date," You stress the word, turning your face away from him, "abandoned me to be very important." You aren't fully turned away, peering at him out the corner of your eye, unable to fight back the amusement.

He hands you a glass, "Spend some time with me then, I'm far less important. You could have me all to yourself." You take it from him, tilting it up to your mouth. "We could go somewhere quieter?"

It's a serious question, and as he watches you drink, balancing the tray in one of his hands, he gets a small idea. Placing the tray in your free hand, and darting off. When he returns, he's holding a full bottle of it in hand.

You blink at him, and then laugh, almost spilling your drink as you raise your hand to cover your mouth. Trying to muffle the noise, so no one comes to find the both of you, "Are you trying to get me drunk and alone, fishie?"

His grin is buoyed and boyish, he knows that. "Of course, cutie. Come on." He waits for you to put the now empty glass in your hand down, abandoning the tray, but taking two empty glasses, and then he pulls you with him. Out the back of the exhibit hall, into the surrounding gardens.

They're normally closed off when an event is happening, but he happily uses his EVOL to melt through the lock. If Thomas looked he'd figure it out, but the chances of it getting pinned on him, is low enough to be worth the risk. At worst he'd have to pay for a new lock, he assumes.

You still give him a scandalised look, and fight the amusement back as you poke him in the side, "Raffy, if you get in trouble for this-"

"It's fine, cutie. No one will know." Probably.

As he tugs you along, he imagines for a moment, running away from a wedding. His new spouse at his side, his heart thundering in his chest at your beck and call, and finding somewhere you can be alone.

A daydream on a fish's fin, amidst turbulent tides.

It still makes the mark on his chest burn, yearning and desire, keeping his heart alive.

When he finds a sufficient place, he pulls you down into grass, catching the glasses before they fall from your grasp. The two of you sit, surrounded by flowers and shadows, and he snaps his fingers, to call a small flame to light up your face. The shadows cast across your cheeks, the laughter in your face. The slight wavering to your eyes.

You are almost in his lap, close enough he could reach out and pull you into it. To distract himself, he fills a glass for you, handing it over, and fills his own. Downing it quickly, and starting on another, then another, until he feels sufficiently caught up to you.

Alcohol always makes it just a little bit easier, for him to wear out the edges of his grief. To soften the lines of his bitter pain. To look at you and quieten the agony of so many lost memories.

The bottle doesn't last long, as the more he drinks, and the more you drink, the closer the two of you get. His cheeks are heated, and he's glad for the small fiery fish swimming to help you see each other, because it cannot reveal just how flushed he is. Just how quickly the alcohol affects him.

You lie with your legs over his lap, his fingers drift over your leg, drawing patterns on your skin as you talk. Animated, hands moving, occasionally sitting up quickly just to poke at his cheeks.

"I definitely saw one of those really rich guys, spill a drink down himself. He was stood at the side scrubbing furiously."

"Never drink red wine at these things, if you're wearing a white shirt, I learned that the hard way."

You sit up, moving so you can sit on his lap, pinching his cheeks, "Did the fishie make a mess?"

For a moment he can't speak, looking down at you. At how you're sat, pressed against him. One arm draped over his shoulder, as you pinch, and pull just a bit. He swallows, once, and before you can realise how close you are, he pulls you closer. One arm around your waist, one hand taking yours wear it pinches at his cheeks.

His voice is a little shaky when he speaks, and he wants to shake himself to be calmer. Sauve, maybe? Can he be sauve right now?

"All over myself. Right in front of some of the investors Thomas spent weeks wining and dining. Horrible. He lectured me for hours."

You laugh, softly, head falling down to his shoulder, nose brushing against his neck, and his head feels fuzzy. The sensation of your skin so warm against his, that feels like ice. Goosebumps raise at every point you touch. He can't tell what is the alcohol and what is the bond. What is you.

"It's not funny cutie, I was humiliated." He whines, hand tangling your fingers together, so that he can carefully brush your fingertips over his lips. He almost whines for a very different reason. The line between the person he wants to be with you, and the person he is underneath the bravado thinning. "I can't believe my bodyguard wouldn't support me in my agony."

Your fingers pinch his lips, making them pucker, but your other hand runs through the back of his hair, easing into his scalp. His hips jump, jostling you in his lap, and he bites down on the noise he almost lets out. "Who is this bodyguard, Raffy? I thought I was your date."

The word is stressed again, but this time, your eyes are in front of him. Mismatched gaze focusing on his own. Looking in his face for something. Head tilting to the side, hair falling over your eyes.

He doesn't know if you find it, but you lean back on his shoulder again.

"You're right." He speaks through a tight throat, "I brought my date here to show them my work."

"Your date sees your work often."

"Are you bored of it?" It hurts more to ask than he thought it would. There's a feeling of fear lurking under the words. Something that he puts so much of himself into… he doesn't want you to not find worth in it.

Anyone else can think whatever they like about his worth. He just wants you to value him, his pain, his love, everything he offers.

You must hear it, able to see parts of him, even when he hides them. No matter how hard he tries to only show you what he wants you to see, he always seems to trip up. Always seems to leave a crack in the wall. Sitting back up, your hands moving to his cheeks, so you can turn his face this way and that.

"Bored?" You ask, incredulous, eyes widening. You look stunned, shocked and confused. Like the very concept stuns you. You shake your head, overly quickly, as though trying to force the point home. Before you have to steady yourself against him. Letting out a groan. "Shouldn't have shaken my head that much." He moves his hand from your waist to your neck. Easing circles into the back of it, to help with the onset of dizziness.

He really should have brought out some water too. He can feel the hazy heat in his own head, the slight delay in his vision.

You eventually relax again, smile returning, "I could never be bored of you Raffy." Your thumb brushes over his lips, and he kisses it quickly before he misses his chance. "I want to always keep seeing the world you do. Every painting, every sculpture, every song."

Leaning over, you press a kiss to his cheek, and he wants to cry. Barely fights the urge to cling to you and sob. To beg you to stay there forever, and never ever leave him.

He wants to share everything with you, tell you about the pain that shapes his world, share every secret he's ever had, all his feelings, all his thoughts. He wants you to know him better than anyone else ever could hope to.

He wants to never release your hand, for the rest of eternity. No matter how many incarnations of you he has to find. No matter how much it hurts to be forgotten, to be lost, to keep looking for you no matter what, that he has to deal with the bitter hurt and the cold edge of pain. That he would do it over and over and over again, as long as you look at him, and touch him, and love him.

He is bound to you, and he wants you to be as bound to him.

Even if he is terrified of you seeing him, every version of him, and fearing him or hating him.

Even if you could never truly understand him, not really.

Because he will not let you. He cannot.

To be so vulnerable, to the one he loves, is a Lemurian's greatest strength and weakness.

When the moment comes, he hopes you dance through the pyre together, and drown together. He's sure he'll be able to turn that into his greatest painting, his most heartfelt song.

"Keep showing me your world Rafayel. Forever, alright?" You urge, squeezing his cheeks, and shaking him from his thoughts. "As your bodyguard, or as your date." The tease comes back to your voice, but your eyes are steady, your expression serious. You're opening the door for him, so he can step through when he's ready.

"Maybe one day I'll paint you, cutie." He manages on a whisper, leaning forwards, nose brushing yours. So close he might kiss you. Your eyes flutter closed, but he cannot cross the line. Fingers trembling against your skin, so he moves past your lips, chin resting on your shoulder, lips at your ear. "Stay with me forever, and I will."

He clings to you, in his lap, holding you against him, willing you to make a promise that will bond you in the same way as he is bonded to you. His word your chain, like yours are his. Mutual and constricting in all the ways he wants. You're worlds apart, and he wishes for more than anything, for you to be able to cross a line impossible to join him in his, or he in yours. Ever since he was a child, even now as an adult.

"I promise." You speak, and he knows it's a drunken haze, and he knows you'll forget tomorrow, and he knows that you'll forget so much more, no matter how much the knowledge aches.

He knows your promise cannot bind you like his will bind him. He also knows you do not lie to him, as easily as he lies to you.

So consciously aware of every part of the divide of ocean and land. Of human and lemurian. Of everything that means he cannot truly be understood by you, as long as you do not remember everything that mattered before. Even though it aches.

Still, he watches the sunrise with you in his arms, as the both of you ease into slumber.

And he makes a note to paint his heart one day, decorate a canvas with it, even if you never were easy to capture on paper.

[valeriapryanikova]

ominous

(itsy-bitsy fanfic concept/idea/? under the cut)

[A page ripped out of a journal; the owner’s handwriting is messy and barely legible.] 

february, 29th

i'm surprised i'm not dead now.

yesterday, in the late evening, as i was painting, it started storming. suddenly and hard. one second the dark sky is clear from any clouds, and the next moment the droplets are pelting me with a surprising force. i rapidly abandoned my easel and canvas (not like there would be anything lost—the piece was dull and not working out the way i desired) in favor of seeking cover.

i was still near the village, on its outskirts, but just a bit too far from my house to reach it quickly before my whole being was drenched through and through. so i ducked into one of the huts, all of which stand empty, desolate… or so i thought, at least.

only once inside did i spot the dim, ominous, red glow of the overhead lamp; the sound of a muted conversation; the overwhelming sense of “wrong”, like i was not meant to be here. abruptly silence fell and two sets of bright eyes stared me down.

terror froze my body. i felt like a prey caught in between two predators, i could practically feel their jaws snapping around my neck.

the dredger slowly smirked at me, barring her sharp, sharp teeth. (since when are they sharp? i may not have crossed path with her often, but i swear i would’ve noticed if she had shark teeth before.) i did not stay to see if the fisherman would further react to my presence too. the control of my body returned, allowing me to let out a panicked apology for interruption and bolt out of the hut, running home at full speed.

it’s been hours since then. i couldn’t fall asleep. i’ve been up the whole night, haunted by fear. the scene of those two beasts in the darkness, ready to snap me like a twig for overhearing something (i don’t remember what exactly, all the horror of the situation evaporated all my thoughts), got stuck in my mind’s eyes. so i’ve been doing what i know how to do best—painting.

[Attached to the diary entry is a typewritten note.] 

That painter fellow is an impressionable and imaginative type. Needless to say, the actual interaction with the two fish merchants was likely a lot less… Dramatic.

The painter was reluctant to show me the painting mentioned in the last paragraph, but after some convincing I did manage to take a quick look on their recollection of the witnessed scene: it seems mostly useless for my research, but I noted down some details that might be of use in the future (refer to “AudioLog#143” transcript for more information).

Collecting data on “The Fisherman” continues to prove itself annoying. The subject is allusive: there’s not many sources mentioning him, and folk around here rarely witness him out and about. Currently the only lead I have is finding that one old newspaper article about the docks that, if I recall correctly, mentions him in an interview with workers. Perhaps, when I have time, I’ll try asking the collector from the other side of the river if he has a copy of that newspaper issue.

However, for now, I’m significantly more interested in “The Dredger” subject. There’s more than plenty info about her—I would actually say there’s too much info about her, all inconveniently inconsistent. In an attempt to get more reliable data I’m getting in contact with Mined since they have done scientific observation of this area and the people of interest. My request for access to their data has gone unanswered so far and, if shoving my anthropology degree in the faces of those bumbling idiots won’t work, I’m sure that that city nearby has enough hackers willing to do some dirty work for a pretty diamond.

I will get the data I want, one way or another.

[twistedpink]

hiiii! I’m so sorry that I have multiple requests, you don’t have to do it if your busy, I’m so sorry for requesting so much! T^T

first request is your sneaky link series, but with riddle rosehearts and chapter 7 dream!riddle rosehearts both? Curious how different they’ll act hehehe ;-;

second request is protective!riddle rosehearts? Like someone randoms stranger flirting with reader, how would he react?

that’s all, so sorry for the really huge request, you don’t have to do it if udw, and keep up the great work, I love reading your work!^^ :D

Tysm!! You should send in protective!Riddle separately, I’d love to write it!

Sneaky link!Riddle that’s a housewarden, a tyrant, and so close to being a boyfriend- He can feel it! More often than not, when you get “the goods” and make a move to leave, he does anything to make you stay,, He’s normally a terrible liar, but is it really lying if the rule just doesn’t exist yet? You can’t leave, he still has to make you.. uh.. Midnight scones! It’s the rules!

Sneaky link!Riddle that can’t help loving you, despite the nature of your “relationship”.. He still covets you, always will, but he wouldn’t dare violating the boundaries for your arrangement. Poor boy’s stuck in limbo :( It’s just not enough for him! If he could trade your body for your mind, he’d do it in a heartbeat. In fact, he wants for nothing more.. Your affections, maybe a little banter before you kiss him dizzy,, He can only dream of it. <3

Sneaky link!Riddle that takes what he wants- Your time, money, and body are up for grabs, so long as you still like him enough to swoon :) Riddle doesn’t make you worse (louder, maybe), he makes you confident, and there’s nothing you can do to ward him off once he sees the progress he’s always wanted to see in you. He’s only “sneaky” cause’ he hasn’t convinced you to drop the judgy crowd you’re in, but it’ll happen soon enough. For now, he’s happy to makeout in your closet, with that same judgy crowd breathing down your neck,,

Sneaky link!Riddle doesn’t have designated dates and times for a little stress-relief like your Riddle does, he’s too cool for all that- You’re lucky if he graces you with a text, sometimes, when he’s really ticked off, you’ve found him in your school nurse’s office. Now you know how bad those cots are for two people,, If you’ll have him, he might consider making it official and giving you a label, but not any of the lame ones like “partner” or “spouse”. When you’re with the Riddle Rosehearts, you walk your own path. He hopes you can keep up- His show next week’ll be killer! <3

@bju3c0re

[ilikekidsshows]

You know, this is definitely old news, but to this day I'm -still- so bothered by Marinette's behavior in Ephemeral. Not even the part where she conspired to secretly expose Chat Noir's identity to a third party without his knowledge or consent (cute). It's what she said to him during, to convince him to reveal himself; she tricks him into thinking it was something they were doing together, and thus takes advantage of his trust in her and how much their bond means to him (transcript below for context):

Ladybug: Well... actually, it's kind of linked to what happened today. I've given it a lot of thought ever since I became guardian, you know? (leans on the fence) And, I've realized that... you were right after all. (turns to Cat Noir) We should tell each other our secret identities. Cat Noir: But, aren't the secrets supposed to protect us? Ladybug: I thought so. But when you didn't show up today, I didn't know how to locate you because we can't communicate when we're not transformed. If something bad happened to one of us when we're not heroes, we could know about it. It would make us stronger. We'd be able to defeat Shadow Moth quicker! Cat Noir: (walks towards Ladybug's side) So, we're doing this, for real? Ladybug: Yes. Cat Noir: Wow. Okay. You go ahead, m'lady. Guardians first! Ladybug: No, you first. Cat Noir: Let's do it together. (Viperion listens to their conversation while he's in the sewers.) Ladybug: No, I mean it. You go first. I'm... feeling kind of... awkward.

Is it just me, or is this not one of the most blatantly manipulative things she's ever done? To honest, I find it disgusting. She says all these things she knows he wants to hear, and doesn't mean one word of it. I've seen damage control interpretations that she did mean it, actually, that it's what she secretly wants herself but...that just feels like copium at this stage. There's no direct evidence for this interpretation beyond wishful thinking. On the other hand, it's blatant that she doesn't "feel awkward" as much as she's making an excuse to get him to reveal without having to herself (she doesn't want Viperion to know her identity, too, after all). Meanwhile Adrien is being put into a vulnerable position and arguably actually feeling awkward himself (seriously, when you watch the episode you can hear it in his voice). It's just...gross. And for what?

This is Lila levels of manipulation, but worse, because it's our supposed "heroine" who's acting this way (and I hold her to higher standards, yes, because hello, actual superhero and intended role model here?). Which is fine if it's treated as an actual flaw she learns from, but no. Of course not. She will never face real repercussions, or learn from this, because oh hey, turns out this never happened (and no, her realizing something went wrong with her plan in the end does not automatically mean she regrets her plan to betray his trust, or that she even realizes she was doing so). And our one saving grace, the one chance of this being addressed in any meaningful way, was Chat Noir's expression at the end of the episode, where it's clear he knows she's keeping something from him (he saw Viperion in the sewers, after all). But this never go anywhere, actually. They'll let him be frustrated at the secrets for one brief moment in Strikeback, before she has a panic attack and he drops it all, never to be brought up again.

And so many people seem to gloss over that she never actually apologized. All she did was berate herself for being the worst guardian ever, and then immediately accept Chat's pep talk, which includes a bit about how she's the "best superhero there ever was." At this point, I'm starting to think she has a point about being the worst, actually. Maybe she should lose her memories, transfer the guardianship to Alya, and get therapy. I'm not even mad at her, I'm mad at the writers for constantly pushing it in my face that she's the "best" when she's demonstrably...not, multiple times over. She doesn't need to be the best! It's not like she can't be impressive without being The Best TM, my god. But anyways. She could put her money where her mouth is and come clean about Ephemeral and other things, but no. Of course she hasn't.

And now as of season 6 we have him genuinely praising her as 'the best version of herself,' so no, his expression at the end of Ephemeral meant nothing in the end, actually, and she got away scot-free, being disgustingly manipulative without having to make amends or apologize or anything. All she had to do was cry.

I'm currently drinking major copium myself, hoping all or some of her secrets come to light (including her plan in Ephemeral, which, oh yeah, he still doesn't know about), wherein he rethinks the whole 'best version of yourself' thing and feels rightfully betrayed.

Because what the fuck, Marinette.

So yeah, I'm still bothered by Ephemeral.

---

Maybe Ephemeral wouldn't keep being so topical if Marinette's utter moral failures in that episode didn't keep getting ignored by the show. It's like the writers are counting on people to forget about it ever happening so that they can pretend Marinette isn't ready to shamelessly manipulate Cat Noir with every vulnerability he’s ever revealed to her. Until she, of course, does it again and the fandom will act like it's completely new and out of character, and the writers will take advantage of that to act like it's not a pattern of behavior by now and really is just a single, momentary lapse of judgement she shouldn't be judged for. But, like, those of us who remember know that all Marinette needs to manipulate Cat Noir with no hesitation is 1) a reason to do so 2) an assurance that she won’t get caught.

Marinette is a dishonest person. I remember reading someone talking about ‘Reverser’ and they said that, in that episode, Marinette couldn’t even help another person approach someone without her plan having an element of deceit to it. That just stuck with me. And now she’s being pitted against Lila, the person the fandom dubbed “Liar-la” because they thought she was the bigger liar based on very little. They’ve really amped up Lila’s liar game since with her multiple mother scams and such, but, like, considering how unironironically they have Marinette acting just like Gabriel, I don’t think the “liar versus liar, whose lies will bite them harder” parallel is going to amount to anything in the show.

[realitythroughthelensoffiction]

The implications of Crowley being able to stop (and start) time

In the very first scene of season 2, we see Crowley asking Aziraphale for help with "cranking up the engine". Aziraphale's job is to hold a piece of paper with overlapping circles drawn on it, and Crowley uses a hand crank to rotate the circles. After that, he proceeds to create the nebula. The part with the crank seems to have been a prerequisite to that.

Angels using hand cranks to set the universe in motion is not something Good Omens invented; you can find depictions of very similar scenes in medieval art (for an example, see this post by @tenderlywicked).

It is not clear, though, what "cranking up the engine" exactly means. It could just mean getting the mechanics of this part of the universe to work. But many fans have suspected that it also served a different function.

We know that Crowley can stop time. From what we've seen so far, he is the only supernatural being with this ability (except maybe God). But how does he do it? In the scene in the Bastille, he is not shown on screen when he stops time; when he restarts it, he does so by snapping his fingers. Snapping his fingers is also the method he uses to restart time in the scene with Mr. Dalrymple. At the airbase in Tadfield, he throws his hands up to stop time. But when he restarts it, he uses a hand crank. And although the crank is not visible in the scene with Mr. Dalrymple, Crowley does a very similar movement with his hand when he stops time there.

People have discussed whether the crank he is having at the airbase is the same crank he uses at the beginning of season 2. I'm one hundred percent convinced that it is. If the crank in season 1 was just an ordinary starter crank for the Bentley, Crowley couldn't start time with it. Plus, the series made sure to put an emphasis on the significance of the crank by showing it in a close-up shot when the Bentley explodes (for the possible symbolism of the shot, see this post by @erme-maererme).

The official Funko Pop! figure of Crowley is holding the hand crank, too, just as the Funko Pop! figure of Aziraphale is holding the flaming sword (you can find an image on Pinterest). Angels traditionally are depicted carrying attributes; I think the crank was (or maybe still is) Crowley's (for a wonderful analysis of Crowley as an engineer, see this post by @joycrispy).

So, assuming that the crank is indeed a tool to start time and was used thus in the 'Before the beginning' scene, what are the implications of that? Well, to answer this, we have to take a closer look at the concept of time - and of eternity. We know that heaven is eager to "begin eternity", as Michael proclaims in season 2. And we know from their drunk conversation in season 1 that neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are very fond of this idea.

But what exactly does eternity mean? I've always thought of eternity as an endless amount of time. But, theologically speaking, that's not what eternity is; instead, in classical theology, eternity is regarded as the complete absence of time (cf. this encyclopedia article; challenges to that classical concept in more recent theological approaches are also discussed there). For Good Omens, this notion is confirmed by Michael in the aforementioned scene, and also by Ligur in season 1, when he states: "Times are changing. They're coming to an end, for a start".

Now, the absence of time does not necessarily mean that everything is static. But in Good Omens, it seems to signify exactly that: no change, no progress, just repeating the same thing "over and over and over... and over and over and over".

This is very likely one of the main reasons why Crowley is so opposed to it, since he appears to be a fan of progress. Again, take a look at the aforementioned post about Crowley as an engineer. He even seems aware of things that are ahead of his time, like when he suggests to Mr. Dalrymple to wash his hands, because "it's gonna be over age in a few years". Not only that, but he even links progress to the concept of time. In season 1, when he drives his car towards the burning M25, he tells Hastur: "You know the thing I like best about time is that every day, it takes us further away from the fourteenth century [...] Didn't have any cars back in the fourteenth century. Lovely, clever human team inventing cars, and motorways, and windscreen wipers..."

And if time is connected to progress, and Crowley is able to start time, then that links his character to progress, too. You could go as far as to say that Crowley embodies the change and progress heaven fears.

Lastly, fans (for example @crowleysgirl56 in this post) have wondered whether Crowley is also able to manipulate, especially turn back, time. And while that would fit the recurring theme of altering reality in Good Omens (see this post), I'm pretty sure that turning back time is not something Crowley can do, because if he could, he would have already done it.

@sendarya and the people in the comment section of her character analysis of Crowley on Youtube have pointed out how often he uses the words "(it's) too late", and one time even "it's always too late": when the unicorn escapes Noah's son, when Wee Morag dies, and when he realizes the pointlessness of threatening Jim.

According to the video, Crowley uses "it's too late" to express his feelings about how "actions often have unintended consequences" that cannot be undone. And truly, Crowley is an expert when it comes to unintended consequences. As his entry in the Good Omens Wiki puts it: "many of his own plans end up backfiring on him". He shuts down the mobile phone networks in London, only to realize that this means that he isn't able to make calls either. He creates the M25 just to end up trapped inside it. The most important example for actions that had unintented consequences for Crowley are probably the ones that led to his fall. So I believe that him being able to stop time, but not to turn it back, is actually part of the tragedy (or irony?) of Crowley's character.

That being said, I assume that Crowley's abilty to stop and start time will be brought up in the finale again. Not in a game-changing way, but in a way that emphasizes how it is significant for who he is as a character and what time represents for life on earth. Actions cannot be undone, no matter how bad their consequences are. Progress, like time, can briefly be held up, but never be stopped or revoked, because it is an essential part of life itself.

[itsnesss]

I have a request 💖 sensei wolf x reader, she is his wife, and consoles him after his defeat against Johnny Lawrence

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭 | sensei wolf × fem!reader

summary | he's defeated, and you comfort him silently, reminding him that one loss doesn’t define him. you offer your love and support, assuring him you'll always be there, no matter what

warnings | reader!wife, emotional distress, vulnerability, implied past trauma, comforting touch, slight angst, kissing

word count | 1.0 k

author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩

The sound of the fighters' screams, the crash of punches, all had ceased. Only the stillness remained, as if time itself had decided to stop. There he was, the man who had been an unstoppable force to many, now leaning on one of the training bars, head down, shoulders hunched, as if the weight of defeat was crushing him.

The man who had never known the meaning of surrender, the man who had taught you to fight not only with the body but also with the mind. But in that moment, all he seemed to have was a bitter defeat, marked by the punch of Johnny Lawrence, a man from the past who had resurfaced to teach him a lesson. A lesson that, whether deserved or not, had left him vulnerable. And that feeling of vulnerability was the last thing he accepted.

You could see how his gaze emptied. Sitting there, with his legs stretched out, he seemed smaller, more human, than what people usually saw. You, who knew him better than anyone, understood that behind that facade of strength, of the image of the invincible leader, was a constant battle. Not only against others but also against his own demons, the ones that never disappeared.

You approached him without making a sound. You didn’t need words, only your presence. You knew that the touch of your hands, the warmth of your body near his, would be more effective than any verbal comfort. You leaned in slightly, placing a hand on his shoulder. You didn’t say anything, but you could feel how his body slowly relaxed, as if your touch were an anchor in the middle of the internal storm that was pulling him away.

He didn’t look at you at first. His gaze stayed fixed on the ground, as if he couldn’t find the strength to face you, or maybe, out of pride, he didn’t want to show his vulnerability. You knew the weight of the defeat was heavy for him. He had invested so much in this fight, so much in that image of invincibility he had built over the years, and now it all felt like it was crumbling before his eyes.

Finally, he raised his head, and for the first time, his eyes met yours. His dark eyes, which always seemed to have an answer for everything, now were empty, lost. The look he gave you was that of a defeated man, someone who felt like he had failed not only in front of others but in front of himself.

“I’m sorry...,” he murmured, his voice heavy with regret. “I should have never underestimated him.”

You shook your head softly, giving him a calm, almost imperceptible smile, but one filled with assurance. “You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, Feng.”

But he wasn’t convinced. You could see it, how his mind tried to find an excuse, a way to justify the defeat, how he saw himself as a man who had failed. In his mind, Johnny Lawrence was not just a rival, but a reminder of his own past, of his own vulnerability. His insecurity.

“Johnny is just an obstacle, a challenge. Just another fight. That’s all he is,” you said firmly, taking his hands in yours, which were cold from the tension building up.

He looked at you for a second, skeptical, and then, with a sigh, leaned back, resting his back against one of the dojo walls. “You don’t understand. I’ve always been the best, I’ve always led, but today… today I felt like I had taken a step back. Like my efforts didn’t mean anything.”

You moved a little closer, not taking your eyes off him, and sat next to him. The atmosphere between you both was charged, but what you felt wasn’t hopelessness, but a deep connection. You knew this moment was necessary, that he needed you to remind him of who he truly was, outside of the fight, outside of the dojo.

“It’s not the end of the world, you know?” you said softly, touching his face with one hand, caressing his cheek. “Everything you’ve done up until now, everything you’ve achieved, it doesn’t disappear because of one fight. You don’t define yourself by this defeat, or by the outcome of this match.”

The lament on his face didn’t disappear immediately, but something in his posture changed. You could see how his shoulders slowly relaxed. Despite his pride, despite his resistance, he trusted you, your words. He knew what you said was true.

“What truly matters is who you really are. What you’ve built in your life, the people who follow you, those who respect you. And me, I’ll always be by your side. No matter how many times you fall, Feng, I’ll be here. Always.”

With those words, you felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It wasn’t victory that he needed to hear, but the comfort of knowing that even in defeat, he wasn’t alone. You knew that for him, the fight never ended. And you also knew that, although today’s battle had been important, there was something much bigger than that: the future they could build together.

He looked at you intently, and for a moment, words weren’t necessary. Without saying anything more, he raised his hand and ran it through your hair, touching you gently, as if he were thankful for your support, for your patience. His gaze was deep, but calm. He was a man who had been touched by defeat, but at the same time, felt the strength of your love and understanding.

Then he hugged you, a deep and warm hug. There was no need for words. The simple fact of being there, together, was enough. And in that moment, he knew that no matter how many times he fell, or how the world saw him, he would always have your support, and that was more important than any victory.

“I need you,” he whispered, his voice barely a murmur, as if the vulnerability of that moment had stripped him of his armor.

“I’ll always be here,” you replied, hugging him tighter, clinging to him, to the peace that only he could give you. “No matter what happens, Feng. No matter what comes. We’ll get through it together.”

[starlitnightdream]

Love Of The Divine Tree FINISHED THOUGHTS AHHHH

I LOVED THIS DRAMA GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL AMAZING YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH IT. ( if you watched till the end of the moon and are in pain please watch this it will heal you)

Small review: Amazing drama where both ml and fl are very very likable. BOTH ARE AMAZING. This one does not raise your blood pressure heh both are perfect for each others stubbornness to save each other hahah.

About the ending: A great ending . Both come out of the final boss fight alive. no one person waiting in front of a reincarnation tree or whatever ( been there done that in the beginning of the drama instead ) A wedding scene ( fancy hair accessories yay) A proper happy ending they contributing to overpopoulation at this point lol was seeing him do all the work and was like NO? this can't be? the whole drama they were equal -but then they said they drew lots to see who was the shifu and who was the disciple for the day and I was like ah okay fair enough ( best would be alternate lmao but whats the fun in that for them ig)

Now we move on to some longer thoughts ahah. ( btw I still have lots of screenshots to post but wanted to post this first)

Su Yishui: adorable cutie who has done no wrong (if you actually think about it its basically nothing lmao) other than that one time man thought getting the spirit spring would be good for him.he blames himself for mu qingge's death which is pathetic bec its obviously everyone else's fault but his bruh why the guilt for something he didn't do AHHH. anyways best boi. (this drama also shows that tantai jin could have lived happily if he met someone nicer) man went through so much to save mu qingge and xue ranran later best shifu and disciple lmao. ALSO towards the end? they reveal man was so good to people even without mu qingge lmao bro was doing side quests saving everyone woahh. but man really thought mu qingge would blame him after she died to save him?? where did that genius go su yishui?

Mu Qingge/Xue Ranran: Best person su yishui could have ever met she sees him and decides yes this dude shall be saved. can't blame her lmao bro looks amazing and also was literally a sweetheart inside all that hissing cat exterior lmao. The efforts to save him man respect to her. another best shifu and disciple right here too ahah. The fl we all need who literally tells ml nah not believing those harsh words you say to push me away lol. ( because some fls really after the ml cares for her the whole drama one incident and they believe ml is bad???) Love her for defending him every single time and being there for him.

Wei Jiu: this dude was there for the comic effect you cannot convince me otherwise lmao. He and elder Tu could be the main characters of the usual misunderstanding filled drama lmao. Man is not a villain bahaha. man's pretty clueless lol.

Elder Tu: she needs to stop hiding her thoughts lol and with wei jiu especially lol crazy combo there both of them need to just COMMUNICATE BRUH. also she was crazier for giving up after one try wow. her full life she never told him anything and once tried it and decided to give up? not a fan of her hiding it from him because she should have told him he isn't that bad. if she told he def would have done something nice lol.

Su Yu: this guy started off good hmm thought he would just be the dude who liked fl lmao but man had a mini villain arc right there but then went back to do something great in the end lol. but also didn't like him ever since he purposely tried to make Su Yishui think Mu Qingge liked him. that hairpin scene was low ahhhh if he specificvally searched for the hairpin bec he knew what Su Yishui's mom had done.

Mu Ranwu: total evil bish. had no reason to become a villain but still somehow became one lmao. like even su yu fine his brother who he saved poisoned him.. but mu ranwu? her sister SPOILT her. still she got her killed and almost killed her in second life also that bish.

Wang Suizhi: Clown who liked mu ranwu because bruh what is there to like in that shallow evil person. she saved him? thats crazy she tried to kill her sister then but okay I guess... bro was crazy sacrificed his life for her. so not worth it.

these were random character thoughts lol there more but laterrr

still can't get over xue ranran and all the others saying he looked bad with the marks on his face lmaooo its was just some pretty lines bahaha the man looked equally gorgeous lol not much difference with the marks gone ahhh

[blossoming-mind-palace]

PBSS! Chung Myung x Reader: “Under the Saint’s Wing” (SFW/Part 2)

Summary: Chung Myung still needs more convincing in order to take in Yu Iseol, so you formulate a plan to persuade him. Tang Bo helps you by bringing his own student, Tang Soso, to Mount Hua so she can spar with a martial artist. Yu Iseol ends up being her partner, but their training session comes to an abrupt end.

Contains: Gender neutral elderly reader & the found family trope is starting to show

A/N: The Tangs have arrived! I hope I did them justice because this is the first time I’ve written them. I hope I didn’t butcher their characterization. Also, sorry for the hiatus. I’m back and passionate about writing and ROTBB again.

WC: 3,476-ish

“Tang Soso, this is Yu Iseol. Yu Iseol, this is Tang Soso,” Chung Myung awkwardly motions his arm towards each girl as he introduces them to each other. Tang Soso is already beaming at Yu Iseol; meanwhile, the black-haired one doesn't know what to think of her just yet. “Hi, I'm Tang Soso! It's nice to meet you!” The girl bows and waits for Yu Iseol’s response. Yu Iseol copies her in a less cheerful manner. In the distance, you and Tang Bo watch everything unfold.

“D'awww, it looks like they like each other!” You gush over Yu Iseol's potentially new friendships, and Tang Bo looks at you like you're crazy. “How can you tell? Yu Iseol hasn't said anything, and her facial expression has barely changed,” he points out. It's true that Yu Iseol struggles with expressing herself, but, after spending more time with her, you and Chung Myung have learned how to empathize with her.

You watch as both girls rise, and Yu Iseol keeps her gaze on the girl in front of her. Her mouth says nothing, but her eyes are filled with a friendliness and curiosity that most people wouldn't notice. “If she didn't like Tang Soso, she simply would have left without saying a word. Trust me, she likes her,” you explain before picking up a couple of swords. Tang Soso is doing most of the heavy lifting in their conversation while Yu Iseol nods or sprinkles in short answers. The Mount Hua disciple is surprisingly warm and receptive towards the Tang girl, and you're hoping that after this, Yu Iseol may finally make a friend.

You both continue to watch them under the morning sun, and Tang Bo sighs before leaning over and whispering to you,”I hope you're right, and I hope that your plan works.” “What plan? What are you two whispering about?” Chung Myung has walked away undetected from the younger disciples and interrupted your one-on-one conversation with your old friend. The plan is to get Chung Myung to warm up to teaching after watching Tang Bo show off his student, but Chung Myung doesn't need to know all of that! You need to think of something to cover up your meddling. Tang Bo quickly pulls away and clears his throat,”Our plan to strengthen the relationship between Mount Hua and the Tang family, of course! What else could it be, and why else would we pair my little Soso and Yu Iseol together?” His crow’s feet appear when he smiles confidently as if his acting is flawless, and you nod in an attempt to show your support.

‘He looks so suspicious… Chung Myung, my dear, please do not catch on!’ You think while watching your beloved cock an eyebrow at the both of you. You subconsciously hold your breath as you wait for him to call the both of you out, but you release it when he finally turns around. “Whatever. Stop talking and concentrate on why we're here in the first place,” he says as he walks back to the girls. You and Tang Bo's shoulders simultaneously relax, and you glare at him before whispering,”Don't blow it.” “Yes Mr./Mrs./Mx. (Y/N),” he snickers and playfully salutes before you both approach the girls.

Chung Myung has already started helping Yu Iseol adjust her posture while Tang Soso takes inventory of the various poisons and daggers Tang Bo helped her hide on her person. Thanks to Tang Bo's high status in his clan and a little bit of persuasion from him, Tang Soso, and her father, she miraculously became the first girl to learn about both the clan's poisons and their medicine. Like Yu Iseol, she has a promising future ahead of her and has been able to master her techniques quickly. ‘It's only natural that we pair them up, right? Hopefully they'll become close comrades, too,’ you think as you watch everyone prepare for their training session.

Tang Bo whispers in his descendant's ear while you stand on the sidelines. After deciding that her stance is sturdy, Chung Myung backs away from the Mount Hua disciple and Tang Bo does the same with his own descendant. After announcing that the sparring match is beginning, Tang Bo starts to approach you and Chung Myung is right behind him. You peak over Tang Bo's shoulders, and when you see your lover, you mumble,”It looks like someone doesn't want us whispering again.” The Tang elder snorts before returning to your side, and Chung Myung gets in-between you two.

“What's so funny, huh?” Chung Myung asks and looks at you with a wary expression, and you ‘innocently’ smile at him. “Don't worry about it!” You anxiously reply before breaking eye contact to watch the girls. You're silently praying that they'd distract him, but your prayers reaped no rewards. “You two are up to something. I know you are!” Chung Myung insists while putting a hand on your shoulder. You try to think of something to say to take the heat off of you, but your mind draws blanks. Thankfully, there's a distraction right in front of you guys.

“Dodge faster, Yu Iseol!” You cup your mouth to amplify your yelling, and Cheongmyeong's attention is finally ripped away from you. Her speed is actually perfect and she looks confused as to why you would yell that. She trusts your judgement and goes faster, anyway. Meanwhile, Tang Soso is struggling to keep up with her. A few daggers fly, but none of them hit. The tables suddenly turn, and the Tang girl has started dodging instead of Yu Iseol.

All three of you watch with a collective, intense interest and wait for someone to make a move, but the two girls are currently dancing around each other instead of attacking. “You're going to have to throw harder and faster. Remember what I taught you?” Tang Bo attempts to verbally nudge his student in the right direction. “Don't interfere too much! They won't be able to think for themselves if you keep telling them what to do,” Chung Myung buts in as all three of you keep your eyes on the young girls.

Under your collective and intense gazes, the girls continue dancing around each other, and the Tang’s pace gradually quickens. Tang Soso throws a few more poison-laced daggers, but her projectiles suddenly stop when she notices how low her inventory has gotten. Yu Iseol begins closing in on her and attempts to slash at her, but the Tang's reflexes are starting to improve even more. She continues dodging, and finally creates a decently large distance between her and Yu Iseol before reaching into her sleeve once more.

Everyone watches and waits to see how the Mount Hua disciple will react, but she side-steps instead of moving forward again. “She's assuming it's another dagger,” Chung Myung says under his breath, and is being careful with his volume. “Trying interfere?” You whisper back and jab at his elbow. He opens his mouth to react to your comment, but the training ground is suddenly enveloped in smoke.

“Ohhh, smart girl!” Tang Bo unashamedly praises his student, but thanks to her smoke bomb, no one can see the girls. Thankfully, Tang Bo doesn't back away or try to hide his nose, so you’re certain that it’s just a harmless, non-poisonous gas. “Yeah, but it's a shame that we can't see them now,” you turn towards Tang Bo while pointing this out. The only thing you can make out is the sound footsteps and the occasional clanking of Tang Soso's daggers being deflected by Yu Iseol's sword. It sounds like she’s going to use the last of her daggers while Yu Iseol is blinded, and, in your opinion, she deserves the praise Tang Bo gives her. She really is a promising student.

Suddenly, you hear the familiar ‘ting’ near you, but this time the noise is too close for comfort. A metallic blur shoots towards your group and the two men side-step. You dodge with what you thought was impeccable timing, until you look down at the small red dots beginning to form on your once-crisp uniform. What just happened doesn't entirely register until you look at it and feel a tingling sensation coming from your side. As reality sets in, so does the poison.

“Wow, Soso, those daggers actually hurt! Great jo-” your sentence abruptly stops when the tingling spreads throughout your body. The last thing you hear is an “uh oh” come from your old friend as your body goes limp. Your body ragdolls onto the ground with a loud thump, and you can hear people yell, but you struggle to process what they're saying as your consciousness begins fading. All you see before you close your eyes is presumably Yu Iseol's shadowed figure quickly darting out of the opaque smoke and towards your direction.

-

The first thing you notice when your senses return is the horrid aftertaste of disgustingly bitter medicine. It’s actually so repulsive that the first thing you do when you regain consciousness is cringe and uncontrollably gag. “Oh! She's finally awake,” You're greeted by Tang Soso beaming down at your twisted face. “Here, drink this,” you hear Yu Iseol's calm voice, but this time there's a hint of worry in it. You try to sit up but your arms wobble thanks to how weak they feel, so Tang Soso helps guide you. When you finally sit up, Yu Iseol gently puts a small cup of water in your hands. You waste no time in drinking it and hurriedly let the bitterness wash down your throat.

“Eugh, that was disgusting!” You whine before analyzing the room. It looks like you've been sleeping in the medicine hall, and Tang Soso and Yu Iseol have pulled up a chair so they can both watch over you. The training session started in the morning, but the warm hues of the sunset are currently seeping through the window. Tang Soso gives you a sheepish, apologetic look when you glance at her. Meanwhile, Yu Iseol's eyebrows are slightlscrunched, but you aren't entirely sure why. “What happened?” “You were accidentally hit by one of my poisoned daggers, and you've been out for almost a whole day,” Tang Soso explains while rubbing the back of her neck nervously. “Sorry, by the way,” the young Tang apologizes and sheepishly smiles at you.

Before you can say anything, Yu Iseol anxiously interjects,”No, I'm sorry. It ricocheted off of my blade and hit my elder. It's my fault.” Now that you think about it, you’ve never seen Yu Iseol wear such an upset expression on her face. The guilt must be eating her up, because her brows haven't relaxed since you woke up. You reassure both girls with a warm, comforting smile and gently put a hand on Yu Iseol's shoulder. “It's okay, I'm not mad at either of you. If anything, I'm proud! If you two work together and turn that ricocheting into an attack of some sort, you'd be quite the duo to reckon with. Not only that, but you managed to take down an elder that's much more experienced than you,” you pat Yu Iseol’s shoulder while you talk, and when you’re finished you pat Tang Soso on the head before folding your hands on your lap. Both of the girls look confused by your answer.

“We took you down by chance, though, and you weren't even the target!” Tang Soso points out. “Oh, well, we all make mistakes. You were still able to take me out with the combination of Tang poisons and Yu Iseol's force, so it's technically progress in both of your journeys. It may not be the progress you two were aiming for, but it's still progress,” you start lecturing them until you hear someone open the door. Your attention shifts to the door, and it’s none other than your dearest partner.

“They're right, y'know?” Chung Myung points out while walking into the room and pulls up a chair on the other side of you. He must’ve overheard your conversation from the hall. He sits and looks at Yu Iseol before continuing,”Your defense has improved and you kept your stance despite the force of the daggers being thrown at you. The only problem is that you need to keep a closer eye on your opponent's openings and become more confident when you close in on them.” He turns towards Tang Soso and leans back in his chair before continuing,”And you have some solid tricks up your sleeves, but you shouldn't rely on them too heavily. Like Tang Bo, you need to focus more on martial arts, and learning more close-ranged moves would benefit you.”

He has the expression of a stern teacher while he gives them his constructive criticism, and you think that he looks quite handsome during his lecture. ‘He's so on the fence about teaching, but he's doing a flawless job,’ you think as you admire how well your husband is doing and his dashing good looks. “Yeah, he's right. What would you have done if Yu Iseol had successfully closed in on you before you could even whip out that smoke bomb?” You ask and wait to see what kind of plan the Tang girl might formulate. “Uhhh, stab her with my dagger?” She nervously answers and she doesn't look very confident in her answer. You can see how insecure she is based off of how she anxiously plays with the ends of her sleeves.

“That is a terrible way to react. A sword is much longer than a dagger, so Yu Iseol would’ve stabbed you before you could even get it out. Also, what if you had accidentally thrown your last one beforehand?” Chung Myung points out. His tone is harsh, but you know he means well. If they don't get the criticism they need, they'll never improve. Tang Soso's hand comes up to her chin as she thinks for a moment, but her face brightens when she remembers something. “I'll just throw this at her!” She pulls out one of her impressively sharp hairpins. “Oooh, that's quite the weapon! Your back up plan needs some work, but those are definitely sharp enough to pierce skin,” you point out before holding out your empty palm. Tang Soso places the pin in your hand and lets you take a closer look at it.

Chung Myung glances at it, but isn't as intrigued by it as you are. You give her the floral pin back before gazing at your husband and waiting for his input. “Still, it's not enough. Focus more on close combat and try picking up a sword,” Chung Myung sighs. His lecture is perfect, and it's a shame he's still on the fence about taking in Yu Iseol as a student. Chung Myung catches you spacing out and staring at him, so he stares back with a suspicious look on his face. You have a feeling that you should change the subject as soon as possible.

“Where's Tang Bo?” You quickly ask to get his focus off of you and your thoughts. “My elder isn't too far away. He said you'd be okay under my care, so Yu Iseol and I have been looking after you. Speaking of him, he might be waiting for me to join him so we can go home,” Tang Soso grins at you, and you can see her little dimples peek out. “Oh, wow! You must be proficient at medicines, too, if he trusts you that much,” you gasp at her and she sheepishly nods. She enjoys the praise, but it seems like she doesn't want to look cocky when agreeing with you. “I guess you could say that… May I check on you one more time before I leave?” She asks and her cheeks have a slight glow. ‘Aw, I didn't know she could be so bashful!’ You think before giving her your wrist so she can check your vitals.

After letting Tang Soso check on you one more time, she bows and leaves the room with the gratefulness you'd expect from a Tang lady. After seeing what she can do, you're certain that she'll be elegant and lethal when she grows up. After she leaves the room, you notice Yu Iseol is still staring at you with the same worried look. “Do you have something to say, little one?” You ask her softly in an attempt to not stress her out anymore than she already is. Her hands that were once folded on her lap are now balled into fists as she apologizes once more,”I'm sorry, you wouldn't be here if I hadn't blocked her projectile towards you.” “It's okay, it was an accident. Don't get stressed out over it,” you try to console her by patting her head, but when you retrieve your arm, she still looks displeased with herself. Now that you're really looking at her, you notice that her eyes are looking a little glossy.

“But you could've died, so I'm sorry-” “No more ‘buts’ or ‘sorries’. They didn't die and they said it's fine, so there's no reason to keep apologizing,” Chung Myung cuts her off before she can go any further. An almost inaudible sniffle comes from her, but she nods after listening to Chung Myung. “See? It's fine, and I'm fine,” you say while lifting your arms and flexing as a way to playfully show her you're back to your old yet healthy self. “So there's no need to feel guilty. Now, you should go eat dinner with your fellow disciples instead of staying cooped up in the medicine hall with a couple of old coots,” you grin and playfully ruffle her hair.

Her lips curl up slightly, but her eyes are still a little glossy when she nods at you. She bows before silently leaving the room, and now it's just you and your husband. You hold your hand out to him and he grabs it. He lets you rub his knuckles and play with his hand while you converse. “What did I do to deserve such a handsome and loving husband? Not only that, but you're flawless at teaching, y'know?” you compliment him while bringing his rough knuckles up to your lips. “I know you're buttering me up for something,” he accuses you of plotting, but he doesn't look upset. It's the opposite, his lips have curled up as if it's a reflex to the affection you're giving him. His cheeks even have a rosy tint, and if he tried to act upset, he still wouldn't be able to hide how flustered he is.

At least, not from you. You've known him for too long, so it's hard to hide things from each other when you know your partner so well that you can predict their thoughts and movements. It's not a surprise that he's catching on to your meddling fairly quickly. “Oh, my dear, I have no idea what you're talking about,” you feign your ignorance with honeyed words as you kiss his knuckles. He scoffs but continues soaking in the attention you shower him with. You pull away from his knuckles but keep holding his hand as you suggest,”Little Iseol seemed like she was still upset when she left. Maybe you should try spending time with her to cheer her up?”

You quietly hope that your question wasn’t too revealing as you wait for his answer. “I don't know why you think MY company would cheer her up,” he groans and weaves his fingers with yours. “She admires you much more than you realize,” You reassure him and tuck some of his hair behind his ear with your free hand. He goes quiet and looks like he's deep in thought, and you let the silence linger so he can keep mulling over your suggestion.

“Please? For me?” You beg while playfully batting your lashes at him. He rolls his eyes at your theatrics and sighs before answering,”Fine. I'll try to talk to her or something if you think it’ll make her feel better.” You beam at him when he finally agrees with you. Your plan is in full swing.

“Fantastic! Now, I need to get out of here. I literally haven't eaten all day,” you say as you dangle your legs off of the bed and attempt to stand. The weakness has finally worn off, and now the only thing that’s wrong with you is the cramping coming from your empty stomach. Despite knowing that the poison is out of your system and you've been treated, Chung Myung gets up and keeps an eye on you just in case you're too weak to stand on your own. When you're finally up, he wraps his arm around you as you both start to exit the medicine hall’s patient room.

Part 1

[xtinyslip]

"then, what is it about? you haven't held back on the rest. why start now?" her tone wasn't even argumentative but whilst they were airing things, he may as well get this off his chest. She'd rather this be the disgusting argument it was now, then them constantly having to come back to it because they didn't raise everything they wanted too. "i shouldn't be so willing to agree but i do." there was definitely something wrong with the both of them. "that may have been the logical thing to do but is there anything logical about love? i mean, i'm genuinely asking because i'm still attempting to figure it all out. and you didn't do the same to me? i know it was confusing at the beginning but i've loved you from the moment i saw you. how the fuck isn't that ruining me for anyone else? just you, that would have been nice." could he still even give her that anymore? well, all she knew was that she wasn't going to be one of those sad people who ended up regretting not fighting as hard as they could for the person they love. cecilia wasn't sure she had the answer and that hit the hardest because he was right, no one could ever fault how hard they had tried but the thought of giving up? it hurt as much as holding on was right now and she didn't know what to do. "then, what do you suggest? is the best that you can come with is to give up? to just end this?" maybe that was the right thing to do but she could have crippled over with how much the thought of doing that hurt her. "I THOUGHT --" and she honestly felt like the biggest idiot for even letting herself think it. Llt alone admit it to him, when he was right and had told her what felt like a hundred times. "CONSIDER KRAMER TAKEN CARE OF. I'LL SEE TO IT PERSONALLY." she could have given him so long speech back but nothing was going to make up for the fact that she just hadn't seen this. nothing. "is this all you have to desperately cling too? that you made vows to her? because you made vows to me first. you made vows to me that were actually supposed to mean something. this marriage to donna was as forced as our divorce was. she got a pay cheque out of it, p. please, please explain to me why you think you owe her ANYTHING?" this was one situation she truly didn't understand and honestly, she was never going to want to understand why he was acting like his vows to donna were important than the ones he made to her. "i don't know." that was the truth, and yet her grip on his bare shoulders was so tight, it was very clear that she wasn't contemplating letting go either. "so? i thought we were already there." oh, cecilia wanted to leave her fair share of marks and bruises on him. she wanted to show donna how insignificant she was in the grand scheme of things. the rougher he was, the rougher she encouraged him to be, she didn't want gentle, she didn't want nice right now. "i think you're doing a pretty good job at convincing yourself of that. yes." this was taking to much time, she needed him now. fumbling with the button on his jeans so that she could free them of any barriers between them. "you're going to show me..." @fcdcdmcmories 

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. I..." or maybe it was and maybe he had been fooling himself and right now, he didn't particularly know what he was meant to say. that they didn't work? THEY DIDN'T. that they were fools to even be here? yes, but.. was that going to change anything? probably not and maybe, their story showed that it was not going to. but.. but.. what could he even say? was there any making any of this right? "i think we're both insane. i think we should have taken what happened with kramer and back home and stayed as far away from each other as possible, and yet.. we kept on attempting to make it work. TIME AND TIME AGAIN. I THINK THAT SAYS THAT WE'RE BOTH OUT OF OUR FUCKING MINDS. and you took all that i had left to give and apparently ruined me for anyone else. isn't that enough for you? what else do you want from me? of me?" because he didn't feel as if he had anything left to give. if anything, he felt as if it had all been taken away and right now, all that he saw was her. he couldn't look at anyone else. he had tried.. god, if he had tried, but.. NONE OF IT HAD WORKED. shaking his head and this time.. it was.. sadly. "it wouldn't work. you know that as well as i do. we tried. how long can love hold something together, when everything else seems to be pulling it apart?" wasn't that the case here? because he could admit it. he could admit that he loved her and he could admit that he had tried and he could admit that he had done everything and yet.. here they are. "I WARNED YOU. I WARNED YOU SO MANY TIMES ABOUT HIM. HE'S NOT OUR FRIEND. YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID TO ME. WHAT HE DID TO WILL. THAT FUCKER IN THE MASK THAT YOU SAW DOWN THERE? IT WAS HIM. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. HE DOESN'T EVEN REMOTELY CARE. HE WANTED TO OWN YOU. AND THIS SHOWS IT. NO, I DON'T THINK YOU HELPED HIM, I JUST.. I THINK HE'S YOUR BLIND SPOT. ALWAYS HAS BEEN." for a moment, he stopped. for a moment, his hand lifted, almost as if he wanted to reach for her and almost as if he wanted to end it all there and then, but.. it fell down. it did. "i've tried. i've tried to forget you completely. i tried - god help me - to fall for donna so desperately, but.. i can't.. i can't even look at her without thinking it's wrong. WITHOUT THINKING SHE'S NOT YOU. THE ONE GREAT LOVE OF MY LIFE," he could admit that. it was the truth and he had spent long enough denying it. "I JUST.. I MADE VOWS TO HER and.. i can't just break them. and we.. you and i.. you know that we don't work. we're too different." but he didn't want to focus on that. he wanted to focus on her and right now, it was with a desperate grunt that he reached for her. "you still want me here? even.. after everything?" his voice did not seem like his own as he picked her up, placing her against the counter. his hand were everywhere ; in her hair, in her waist, against her own, pulling her closer to him.. closer, closer, closer. fuck. "we're going to hell for this. YOU KNOW?" nibbling against her neck, not bothering to be soft or gentle or anything. perhaps there'd be a mark there in the morning, but.. he laughed darkly, shaking his head. "you think that i don't want that? you?" grunting, as he got rid of her belt. "you really have no idea how much i do.." / @xtinyslip

[stargirl230]

interlude

Lost focus and drew a consensual workplace relationship (the inherent intimacy of hanging out in an artist's studio to watch them exist in their element got to me)

Zoom in for details I poured my soul into <3

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

[ozymoron]

no more buff men!!!!!!!!!!!! no more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant takr it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!