#like that’s so unrealistic to the industry & I get it a fantasy but I find it so stupid I’m sorry 😭

[aclowntiny]

Question for all who see this: how petty would it be to update my rules to exclude AUs I hate

[cultofsappho]

Ive come to the realization that the reason theres a small but loud group of people who are showing nothing but hate for the rwrb movie is because they have completely unrealistic expectations. People are forgetting that this is a cheesy romantic comedy, thats supposed to look and feel like a cheesy romantic comedy. This isnt going to be moonlight or gods own country or some other critically acclaimed, oscar nomintaed queer film that makes straight people go "hmm maybe they do deserve rights and respect🤷‍♀️"

Its gonna be a cheesy adult romantic comedy, thats gonna be a bit camp and over the top and thats exactly why its so good. I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch. I want to watch it and see two queer people fall in love and thats it. Thats how deep it goes. Maybe a sprinkling of politcal commentary in between.

There is this issue thats become bigger and bigger every passing year, that people expect every bit of queer representation to be the best thing ever. There can not ever be anything cringey or different or silly, and if it is then they send endless hate towards it, and in an industry that already hates to show queer people on screen, its this viscious cycle of someone finally being greenlit to make queer media, the media gets endless hate for not being perfect, the studio cancels the queer media before giving it a chance because theyve just 'proven that it wont make money', suddenly everyone is saying 'why do they keep canceling queer media😢', cycle repeats.

Im so over it. Let gay people be slightly cringy or cheesy or campy. Let queer media exist without putting it on this huge pedestal. Just enjoy things! And if you dont, dont watch it! Move on, find something better to do.

Yes!!! Thank you so much anon for putting this feeling into words much better than I could have!

"I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch."

Thank you.

I want light-hearted rom coms about queer adults just being queer adults and havig fun. I want comedy adventures where the characters just happen to be gay. I want more horror where at the end the final girl kisses a girl and can't belive they lived but not because they're gay. (suprisingly several of these exist and I love it)

I don't always want to think about the plight and horrors of being queer today with every queer movie I watch.

Sometimes, yes of course, I want to be seen on that level.

(Nimona, which came this weekend is a perfect example of a queer movie where I felt very very seen but also had a good time and was an incredibly silly fantasy adventure movie. But, still had the queer expereince intertwined.)

I'm looking forward to a movie that will be 90% rom com, and 10% realism/heavyness. re: being outed is a real thing that happens to people. famous people.

Alex and Henry go through some heavy shit. There's seriously traumatizing stuff at the end of the book. They're both dealing with mental illnesses, complex families, and rock-or-a-hard-place situations. I want all of that honored.

And, at the same time, I'm expecting a straight-to-streaming, mid-budget, movie that had to pass through a LOT of straight hands and board meetings to get to us.

Not to say we should love and accept every queer movie that comes out automatically, they have been done wrong in the past. (example: I skipped call me by your name bc the age gap still makes me too uncomfortable to watch)

But we have to give queer movies a chance to fit the genre they were made for, the tone they are made to be, and give queer creators a chance to show they are us annd they know us. The director is Bi. He's spent so much time going on about how much he related to Alex that he needed to make this movie. It's his first directing role, and I'm giving him a chance.

[tubular-wave-jpg]

I try to keep this blog more or less clean of all sorts of discourse related bullshit, but I have noticed a pattern recently and I want to rant about it. Long ass bitching ahead.

With women demanding more realistic characters in games and other media, there is now a push for them to be not just really realistic but also adhering to femininity and do things in such ways that real women would, or else you'd have to accept coomshit designs. Hear me out. Like the whole "would not it be more empowering for a woman to OUTSMART A MAN, instead of fighting an entire army when she is half their size??" when men do not give a fuck if their self-insert characters pull unrealistic schemes out of their asses and save the day. The implications of characters are different, I get it, with male one being a clear power fantasy. A lot of female ones are treated like some sort of marketing scheme. And at this point saying that "well, it is a movie, of course it is going to be unrealistic!" brings in the other side of the fictional people discourse which argues that if a woman can kill entire army made up of 2943 lions and 1745 men, because movies and such are unrealistic, then you should also accept a toddler faced, tits size of mountains anime girls moaning their way through battles, because it is a fantasy too, despite the implications of these characters are completely different (again). So I (maybe other people too) would find themselves in this weird limbo. It is infuriating how people do not understand the difference, between a fierce, smart and strong (actually, not hollywood marketing strong) female character, male power fantasy with quadrillion muscles and a coombait girl character.

People, especially women, are tired of these mind games, thought experiments and juggling random opinions to be both peak equality (Media holds men to unrealistic standards too! This buff man is LITERALLY THE SAME as this loli coomer oc!), peak ethics etc. It is not policing to notice that there are certain bias towards and objectification of women in media, deterring women from noticing these patterns is. And when you dare saying you think character looks unrealistic, you are bombarded by grown ass women too, who, in their cosplays and makeup, claim that they are actually JUST LIKE THEM!11!! and you are "body shaming".

The issue in my eyes is their determination to claim that there is no such thing as porn addiction (up until dicks stop working, then cue crying about how OF girls were master manipulators and exploited them financially) and porn in general affecting people, their perceptions of women and it leaking into entertainment industry.

[boycrazybimbo]

Hi again! I was the OG anon XD. Anyways, I hope ur doing well and all. Drink a cup of water and rest some- I know this may not apply to you, but still. :) Anyways, I came to rant again and get your honest opinion on WHB. Like, I don’t understand the part of being inclusive with male players. Don’t get me wrong, like, I’m fine with the game allowing male players, but that’s not exactly an Otome game, isn’t it? Like, its not actually targeted towards women, and it’s irritating that many fans make MC to be genderless… Like, it is an Otome game- Not a game “for everyone”. This isn’t offensive, but this will offend others. Like, come on. If prettybusy wanted a game for women, it should be for women- Sorry if I offend you, I just can’t shake this feeling off rn.

I agree with you. Here are things to consider:

The adult industry(pornography(hentai, games, etc.) is mostly male dominated. There’s a 2% chance that anything even remotely explicit will pertain to the female audience. Go check yourself. Visit your favorite site to watch adult content and you’ll only ever find things for males. Femboys for males, Lesbians for males, despite being lesbians, men fetishize them. Also, thus, there’s more gay porn for men than there is straight porn for women. It’s rare you’ll ever find porn female-centered.

Hentai games like What in “hell” is bad? always include male players. If it’s explicit, expect it to be for males, because apparently “more men watch porn”.

Hentai games, which are usually for males and are as proven many times, never include female players. You’re always playing this man who may or may not be an average joe, have a beer belly, may have dark skin or a blank face, or even a normal creep. Despite this, he manages to snag his harem of women by doing minimal tasks. Like… Umm… Hello? That’s not how women actually are- I would know as I am one myself and so are you.

So why are female-oriented games inclusive but male-oriented games aren’t?: There’s no explanation for that. Apparently making something for half the population, women, is seen as so inclusive that men can also be included. That’s not true, nor should it be. That’s basically a way of looking over women and catering to gay men. I find it odd how there’s more inclusion for gay men than women. Like, there’s definitely more women on this earth. That being said, that doesn’t help women at all. Like, if you cared so much about making things female-orientated, there shouldn’t be a male option to choose between. I don’t understand why prettybusy decided that to be best especially when their games “are for women”. Like, not really.

Making the MC neutral doesn’t contribute anything to female players, because if it actually were an otome game, and, as prettybusy said something along the lines of “We make MC’s face blank so others can relate more”, then making the MC female would definitely do the trick. If they clearly wanted female players to “relate to the MC”, then being genderless is not apart of that.

Other issues include:

The point of otome games are to raise and boost women’s confidence and self-worth. And creating an explicit otome games creates a bigger message: “A game for women that they can safely, unforgivably indulge in their desires and fantasies without being silenced”. This problem is still at large. Looking at pornography, women don’t receive foreplay, reassurance, or even viewed as humans sometimes. “Big butt latina”, “Petite asian chick”, “Hot ebony does […]”, “Sexy MILF”, “Curvy white chick”, “BBW does […]”… There’s a problem with all of these. They all either are (racist) stereotypes or unrealistic expectations.

“Petite asian”, “Big butt Latina” are either unrealistic or contributes to a beauty standard placed on women. Yes, it’s true many Asian women tend to be short and petite, but constantly putting labels like “petite” on them makes other women in comparison, usually blacks, appear more “masculine” or “unattractive”. “Big butt latinas” is a VERY high expectation of latin women. This doesn’t care about the well-being of the woman, but rather that assets she may or may not have. Women are more than butts.

Ebonies and BBWs: Ebonies isn’t a name I, as a black woman, would be comfortable of being called. The word ebony means black, which is a pretty stupid label to put on black women. Not all black women are dark-skinned and some aren’t even near the complexion of black. Secondly, saying Ebony meaning “black” emphasizes the skin tone of the individual. That’s fetishizing. Black women aren’t ebonies, they’re black women. People don’t call whites or Asians “ivory”, just mostly pale or fair. BBWs are beautiful, but mostly in porn they’re fetishized. Many people often associated BBWs as “curvy” or “voluptuous”. Not to say they aren’t, but that label doesn’t fit them since being “curvy” is defined as having either an hourglass figure, sometimes pear. Which means, that “curvy” women waists are supposedly small. Let’s just stick with what plus-size women since curvy only ever fetishizes them more.

MILFs: We all know the “step-son” in the porn isn’t a step-son. He’s just an actor in porn that he wants to live out his “taboo” fantasies. This is fairly the worst in my opinion. This is the most unrealistic, but not the worst one of expectations from women since, not every woman you see will be your step-mother-

In conclusion: Women don’t have much for them and are often shamed for their desires or fetishized. Female-oriented games should be for females.

[alpaca-clouds]

You are not worse than big name writers

You know what? A few days ago I reblogged this one post and rebutted it in my TL. This one thing saying: "Hey, you are a worse writer than all the established writers, as you are writing your fanfics. But that is okay. You can just do something because you like to do it."

And that one really, really bugged me. Because while the post doesn't reference who they mean with established writers... either way, it rings untrue.

Let me explain: Literature as an industry and as an artistic medium has a lot of problems. Chiefly among them that it is gatekeepy as fuck and very much centered around the experience of cishet men (in the west mostly white cishet men). Meanwhile those white cishet men can at times churn out the most average bullshit, and they will still be celebrated for it.

I still remember one book that is at times considered part of the German literary canon. "Steppenwolf" by Herman Hesse. Sure, it is an old book, but also... It is unstructured as fuck. The writer is very much not interested in the female characters. Generally most characters are underwritten. Oh, and there are sentences in this book, that are almost 200 words long. A single sentence. 200 words. Yes.

And if you really look at it, a lot of the "literary canon" works are similar. Often unstructured (because that's artistic, I guess), mostly desinterested in female characters, or really anything that does not center a white man.

Back then, I compared "Steppenwolf" in an essay for the class to "Homo Faber", which for the record is one of those literary works I kinda like, because the style spoke to me. But if you do not know about "Homo Faber": It is about a depressed guy travelling the world, and by happenstance meeting a girl young enough to be his daughter, falling for her, sleeping with her, she dies. Plot twist, she was not only young enough to be his daughter, she WAS his daughter. Dude dies of pancreatic cancer in the end. It is a book I really did enjoy in terms of the writing style. But... I mean, can you think of a plot more white, cishet male than that?

The literary "genre" (that does not want to be genre, because it stands above the genre literature) is for the most part just cishet dudes smelling their own farts in a very artistic way with stylistic devices and shit. Sure, there are great books in this genre, mostly by people who are not in fact cishet or ablebodied, but those are not the ones usually getting celebrated or put into the "canon". Because we cannot challenge the fucking patriarchy, can we now?

And if we go into genre literature, like... Talking about western publishing mostly, because that is what I know: Most big releases are still mostly cishet white people, writing about white cishet experiences. Like, maybe you might find something in there, that is a white, cis queer woman, but... That's usually the most you get.

Sure, there are a few releases by non-white, trans or disabled people, but those are still super rare compared to actual demographics within each country. And usually outside of smaller publishing houses... Well, let's put it like this: Books are not allowed to rock the boat too much, right?

I have been told - and I know that the same is true for a whole lot of other writers - that a black, queer, polyamorous, autistic character is "unrealistic" and "asking too much of the reader" in a fantasy book.

Meanwhile there is tons of average, if not outright bad books being published by white, cis writers, focusing on white, cis perspectives. I mean, it is kinda a meme to rant about Coleen Hoover or Sarah J. Maas, but... Let's face it. It is, what it is. Those are not exactly well written. And, to put it frankly: Most fanfics I have read on Ao3 were at least of the same quality, if not a lot better than those books.

So, like... No?

Is there tons of bad fics out there? Yes. Are fanfics a medium for new writers to first explore their writing? Yes. But are fanfics on average worse than published literature? I would very much argue, no.

And of course, it should be said that yeah, fanfics themselves still have a big, big issue with featuring white, western perspectives. While a lot of fic writers are queer, they are mostly white, cis queer women. And a lot of writers from more marginalized groups struggle to find their audience, which is definitely an issue.

But, like... Don't act as if getting a book published somehow says something about the quality.

[ravenbloodshot]

Would Seventeen date a fan?

It's not part of the series but let's see

Mingyu- Yes and No. He wouldn't be completely sure if they would be really liking him or in awe of a persona. But if they're pretty enough he might disregard this fear (unfortunately)

Scoups- No, unless you were a foreign confident fan that grasp his attention.

Jeonghan- No, he doenst want to be pressured to meet unrealistic expectations from a fan. He also doesn't like the idea of getting women so easily, there is no chase for him, a fan would come to him too easily and he finds that unattractive

Dino- Yes (hes done it already) a fan would have to appeal enough to him, make him feel special and remain a secret.

The 8- Yes, he has VERY high standards though. You would have to be a fan that has the talents and looks of IU and just happen to be a fan of him

Seungkwan- Yes. a high class, rich fan that gives him loads of attention has a chance with him

Vernon- Nope. Not a chance.Doesn't think it's a healthy dynamic

Dk- Nope. Never in his life would he do that. It can only end up in the relationship being in a coffin

Joshua- No....toxic

Woozi- Yeah...he lowkey knows it's not the best investment to be with a fan but it's like a wattpad fantasy/mystery appeal that may make him second guess " like how bad can it really be". The fan would need to be pretty and appealing.

Wonwoo- No and yes. Thing is he may not think a person is considered a fan if their in the same industry as him, but technically you can be a fan of someone and work the same job as them. So he would if the fan was a pretty idol/actress but not if you were a regular fan

Hoshi- Yes but no saesang fan and no poor fan. Have to be pretty and well off

Jun- Yes.....he thinks if a relationship is meant to be it will be. He also doesn't like forgettable ppl/relationships so the fan would have to be someone that steps into his life and leave some kind of impact

I wouldn't be surprised if he would date a fan after like a one-on-one fan meeting, if like a really interesting question/topic was brought on by the fan. If a fan made a powerful impact on him even in that setting, he would fall for them. (I know it seems very Wattpad-ish but it's just how he is).

[maideninorange]

What movie genres do some of the Len'ens like and dislike?

Since I kinda figure Mugenri probably has some kind of rising movie industry (since I'm pretty sure TVs are mentioned to be a thing in Devanagara somewhere), this means that quite a few Mugenri natives actually have opinions on this subject too. Yay!

So generally speaking, war movies are pretty unpopular. This is because many Len'ens, both Mugenrian and Outside Worlder, have trauma related to war, so naturally they have quite the aversion to it. You won't ever find a war movie in the Shitodos' DVD rack, just as an example.

That isn't to say violent flicks overall are unpopular though! Action and Horror/Thriller are pretty popular overall, even if quite a few people mock them for unrealistic special effects (when in actuality, they've just been in actual combat too much). Although horror movies do have a notable side audience of youkai who watch them purely to see the monsters kill a bunch of insufferable humans. Sukune, Sese, and Yaorochi (when they can be convinced) have probably all watched a few of these in the past together lol.

Character specifics, Yabusame and Tsubakura probably both like comedies and sci-fi. Though Tsubakura tends to mock the romantic ones specifically, mainly because they are a cynic. Tsubakura can't stand psychological thrillers, whereas Yabusame can't stand dramas ("He should just tell her he's dying!"). Both would probably enjoy cheesy B-movies and dramas that accidentally turn comedic.

For the Shitodos, Aoji really likes high fantasy and, weirdly enough, cosmic horror. Hooaka hates it when Aoji gets to pick the movie, because they really don't like jumpscares (and totally not because they are scared by them). Aoji returns this favor with a dislike of their favorite sports movies. As for Kuroji and Hoojiro, they have similar taste in documentaries and pretentious art house films. Kuroji doesn't like Hoojiro's dramas though, finding them trite. Though to be fair, Hoojiro doesn't get sci-fi, so it all evens out. Kuroji is probably invited to Yabusame and Tsubakura's riffings semi frequently as well.

There is plenty of room for others, but these are just the ones off the top of my head. Plenty of others have their own opinions of course.

[ovaruling]

i’m really not trying to be unkind, but both your post and tags describe a worldview that i find defeatist to a wildly unearned degree. i am an animal rights activist, not a life coach, so i will restrict my reply to your claim about going vegan.

the critical difference between going vegan and shopping fair-trade/buying local/supporting unions/ethically sourcing is that going vegan is orders of magnitude cheaper, easier, and also just better for you.

you’re right about several things here—it is hard to get or keep a job without a smartphone full of conflict minerals, and it’s hard to buy clothes (or produce, no one will deny that) that aren’t poisoned by unfair labor practices.

but according to basic truths of thermodynamics, it takes a larger amount of human-grown vegetable calories, and uses more farmland (in places like the Amazon), to fatten and slaughter animals than it would to simply feed humans alone.

for the record, you would have a much more difficult time removing all of the vegan components of your dietary intake than you would removing all of the animal products.

it’s inarguable that all products of industry are stained with blood. what i do argue against is the fatalism dripping from these conclusions—veganism is not actually unrealistic for most people. like i mentioned above, it is physically impossible for meat or dairy to ever be a more economical product of any resource than, for example, dried beans. there are instances where corrupt subsidies distort this truth, sure, which is why coffee shops don’t upcharge for cow’s milk. but these are obviously impermanent states of affairs—we will live to see the environmental impact of these subsidies become too dramatic to ignore.

to the best of one’s ability, it is possible and necessary to stop funding abusive industries. “no ethical consumption under capitalism” is a technically true statement, but it’s most often shorthand for a comfortingly paralyzing fantasy that excuses you from ever having to exercise willpower (like driving past Chik fil A).

the “impact on the world” you’re describing is, simply, purchasing power—you and i both have it, it’s equal in worth, it matters to supply and demand, and we both bear a responsibility to use it as we are able.

if individuals withdrawing their purchasing power was as useless you claim, this mattress store would not have shuttered immediately after airing this ad:

The fact that so many people don’t know that cows don’t just give milk like that but have to be pregnant and have a baby first actually is kind of scary to me. Like wtf.

[newberyandchai]

The One and Only Ivan (2013)

I’ll be honest — I’ve been on a bad luck streak with the Newbery books I’ve chosen to read lately. I finished The One and Only Ivan in Florida over Christmas, but I was so uninspired by it that Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry steamrolled to the front of the line in February. After that, A Single Shard was more recently on the brain.

The course of Ivan’s story is predictable, the solution to the book’s main problem is deceptively simple, and I just wasn’t impressed with the characters. I felt this one was a miss for me even before finishing the first half.

The main character is based on a real gorilla who spent 27 years in an enclosure in a shopping center in Tacoma, Washington. He became the subject of several animal welfare protests in 1987, and locals started boycotting the mall as a result. They raised a significant amount of money to have him moved to a zoo in Seattle, and… that’s the story. Gorilla used as roadside attraction finds new home.

In the book, Ivan has several animal friends that live in the same cramped conditions inside the shopping center. The book opens with the center’s owner acquiring a young elephant to replace Stella, an older elephant with an injured foot who can’t perform for visitors anymore. As her condition worsens, Stella makes Ivan promise that he will do everything in his power to help the new elephant, Ruby, live a happier life. In the end, Ivan comes up with a plan and manages to finger-paint a message that the custodian’s daughter sees and displays on a billboard by the road. People protest, and Ivan is found a new home so he can live with his own kind. The book ends with him moving to a zoo, meeting other gorillas for the first time since his childhood, and beginning to live with them, with Ruby at home in a nearby enclosure with her fellow elephants.

I think the main thing I didn’t like was that the book’s premise felt like a clickbait web article respun into a children’s book — and that’s not the fault of the book, but more my approach to it. I think it made me become more aware of how jaded my attitude is toward the plethora of “heartwarming” stories that are shoved in my face each time I log onto Facebook or Instagram. These kinds of stories, in my (admittedly cynical) opinion, prey upon people’s emotions to get pageviews for the advertisements they run on their sites; they tend to draw out the story much longer than needed with pointless text (“You won’t believe what happens next!”) and spread it across multiple pages that you have to click through, which just increases the ad space they have available to sell and profit from.1

The industry of emotion p*rn (can we still say that word on Tumblr?) might be well-intentioned in some aspects, but to me, I think it is always destined to become exploitative and play people for suckers as it becomes larger and more commercialized. Look at the monstrosities Hallmark (and its anti-LGBT counterpart Great American Family) put out each year, yet moms and grandmas hungry for happy endings in an unrealistic, overly simple fantasy world continue to eat it up year-round. (…Okay, maybe that was a little harsh.)

I get that Ivan’s entire real-life situation and how people teamed up to rescue him from the shopping center was noteworthy at the time because crowdsourcing donations wasn't much of a thing before the Internet. It was probably a real feat to get the word out to others and persuade even a small percentage of those people to give money — there were newspaper ads taken out and many signatures gathered to raise the $30,000 needed to buy him from the shopping center. However, people ask for double what it took to move Ivan to a new home every day for their dog with a broken leg or cat with cancer on sites like GoFundMe, sometimes even after accounting for inflation. Today, it doesn’t have the same “wow” factor when it comes to seeing what people are capable of when they toss in a few bucks for a good cause (“Especially when that kind of crowdfunding becomes so commonplace that it becomes easily exploitable,” Jaded Abby adds).

Additionally, I knew this book had been made into a movie before reading it. After finishing it, it felt like it was the ideal story to be adopted for a visual medium. I could see a young kid gushing about reading this book in class to their Disney exec parent, only for the idea to immediately be taken to a higher-up while other staff begins to assemble a makeshift team to write a script, make a wishlist for voice actors, create a budget, etc. “Poor/sad animal movie” (with or without a happy ending for the animal) is a whole blockbusting genre across multiple forms of media; Marley and Me, War Horse, Hachi, Old Yeller, Water for Elephants, Free Willy, Where the Red Fern Grows.

The trailer is exactly what I expected, too. In the book, barely any time is spent on what Ivan remembers of his time in the jungle with his sister, yet it appears to be a focal point of the movie as part of contrasting how sad his life is at the mall with how great it was in the wild. The movie also offered the perfect opportunity for an all-star cast (Danny DeVito, Angelina Jolie, Bryan Cranston, Helen Mirren) to hook parents and establish credibility for the film — surely such esteemed actors wouldn’t work on a movie that wasn’t worth seeing, right?

It was also an opportunity (Jaded Abby is calling it an “excuse”) for Disney to show off their skills in the area of computer generation and motion capture and maybe seek some redemption. People have praised the animation style and contrasted it with the Lion King’s recent remake, in which the CG removed all ability for the animals to emote and diminished the emotional impact of the story, but I’ll have to actually watch the movie to assess it on that (and many other) fronts.

At this point, with my limited knowledge of the actual film, I have trouble distinguishing what’s a successful visual storytelling tactic and what’s a marketing ploy meant to capture our unsuspecting attention spans and stand out above the constant noise of other entertainment platforms. Maybe if a story is big enough and enough hands get thrown into the mix, it can no longer be something where the intention of sharing an inspiring tale excuses the cheap shots taken to make that story more appealing to the widest number of people. There’s a reason movie plots in major franchises (at least those without preexisting source material to draw from) are more general in plot and follow predictable tropes, often leading to lower audience satisfaction: global box office numbers are often over half of what a movie made in the U.S. makes, so plot nuances — the things that make movies special and memorable, at least in my opinion — that might not translate well in other languages or cultures are usually left out or cut. Record-breaking box office numbers just don't equal good filmmaking anymore; people will see big-budget movies regardless, even if they receive horrible reviews (just look at the Transformers franchise).

…Or I’m just an old man when it comes to feeling excited about new films, especially those meant for kids. Children’s books can have incredible depth and meaning,3 but children’s films and other visual media that stand the test of time and remain enjoyable for all ages are few and far between (looking at you, Illumination Studios — and what was Peacock even thinking with the blatant cash grab that was Megamind 2?).

In short, I’ll leave with some lyrics that half-relate to the personal dilemma I discovered in myself after reading this book: “Something kind of sad about/The way that things have come to be/Desensitized to everything/What’s become of subtlety?”

Rated 6/10, neither Recommendable nor Unrecommendable.

————————

1 Not entirely relevant, but: I worked briefly with paid advertisements at a previous job and got to see the scummy backend of that necessary evil. All the ad reps I worked with wanted to know the CTR, or clickthrough rate, of their ads, which was just the number of actual clicks on their banner ad divided by the number of views. A "good" CTR is only around 1-5%, meaning that a $5,000 ad spot worth a guaranteed 100,000 views may only result in a couple hundred people clicking on the banner, and an even smaller percentage of those people making a purchase. So: every ad you see is scrambling for your attention in hopes that you will be the one person who both clicks and makes a purchase.2 They have a vested interest in using everything in their wheelhouse to stand out from the crowd and make you buy something, from ridiculous emotional appeals to outright lying and rage-baiting.

2 …And if you’re the website wanting to show off how valuable your ad space is to get more money out of an ad purchase, you’ll want to show off how through the roof your CTR is, so you might place ads in spots where a user might mistake them for something else or have them pop up in places where they can be accidentally clicked on. Don’t be a sucker, friends.

3 Incidentally, the author, Katherine Applegate, is the same “K.A. Applegate” who authored the Animorphs books, which are near and dear to my heart — and contain a lot more nuance that makes you think (…but also lots and lots of violence).

[sokumotanaka]

https://twitter.com/TierganVashir/status/1588557274486013953?s=20&t=heXi-oFIhL_Gx3arSxK5og

Ah yes, another racist reveals himself. Unrealistic in medieval times; unlike you know, Giant Rabbit humanoids, Elves, Dragon people, Bipedal lion man and walking potato's. Japan’s been...on something recently, the topic of racism towards Black and Brown people seems to be getting worse and worse for no reason to the point I think they need to be checked up on. You can study art from ages ago and find there were black knights, solider, royalty!

and I can assure you, you’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, if you want brown and black people to buy your products, you’ll get more if they know you have their best interest in mind. Mindsets like this? you just alienate your consumers; now more people are regarding you as a joke, a racist, prejudice, ignorant and with what I read from this massive amount of text (Like I can talk right?) It definitely going to set future final fantasy games back! I wasn’t excited for FF16 and friends tried to get me into 14 and I was on the fence about it, now I want nothing to do with them

“Unrealistic” He really said that, Dragons are in, black people are out...Christ. for any ‘future’ creatives, always go for more representation than exclusion and gatekeeping. I assure you good games and dark skinned POC can go hand and hand in the video game industry, I mean look at Prototype, San Andres and Spiderman Miles Morales as some examples. I’m just...sigh, I’m so tired of fighting.

[ownedbybooks]

✧ bookblr intro ✧

Hello everyone! I’m Mirella, a brazilian graphic designer who loves to read!

I’ve decided to create this blog to talk about my readings through the year… i felt I was missing something last year, so i hope that joining the bookblr community would help me fill that whole in my chest.

Help me find more bookblrs by liking/rebloging this post! :)

🚨Attention!🚨 This is a SIDE BLOG! My main blog is @herslowness, so don’t be surprised if I follow you with that username, ok?

About me:

As i said, I’m from Brazil and a graphic designer, currently working on retail industry. I’m 27 year old and i’ve always liked to read, but it was in 2015 that i’ve began to discover more communities about books and reading (like booktube) and since them i’ve fallen more and more in love with books, even though i was a more of an avid manga reader in high school.

My pronouns are she/her and if you think that Mirella is to formal, you can call me Mi or Mimi.

You can find me on Goodreads, Storygraph and Skoob (brazilian platform)

About my readings:

I mostly read in Portuguese, but i often read stuff in English. Sometimes i read in French, to practice it. I wish to be able to read in Italian in the future, since i’m learning the language right now!

I really like fantasy books, time travel books, fairytales retellings and young adults. but i’m open to explore and i’m always trying a new genre or book to get out of my comfort zone. because of that, lately i found out, i like classics and gothic literature and i’m starting my journey with terror by reading Stephen King’s book (i’ve read IT and I loved it!)

I have a personal ongoing project that i like to call “reading through the zodiac”, where i’ve started reading the epic book recommendations based on your astrological sign. I just started, though… I’m still in the Aries books.

This year i’m joining 2 buddy reads: one is more focused in classics (and we are currently reading War and Peace) and another one is for Cassandra Clare’s books (we are reading them since last year, in order of publication. This month i’m going to read Clockwork Angel).

I actually like reading in buddy reads, because knowing and seeing other people reading the same book as me, at the same time, gives me motivation. Plus the discussion makes me understands better the books, since one person can have a different point of view from mine!

I also LOVE joining read-a-thons, but i can’t do one after another! I must take some time after joining one, so i can heal. If i don’t respect myself I will for sure enter a reading slump phase, so… i just try to listen to my body as best as i can and read with the pace i feel like in the moment.

My reading goals:

This year my goal is to read 45 books.

I plan to finish some books series, but I don’t know which one at the moment. the only rule i set to myself, starting this year, is that if I start a new book series, i have to read it till the end or till the last book released by the author.

I also want to read all my 150+ ebooks i got for free during march 2020, because of the pandemic. but I know it will be quite impossible for me to read that much in a year, so i’m just hoping i will read the most i can from it.

I also have a physical pile of TBR in my room with almost 50+ books that i want to read, but again, it’s too unrealistic that I will read all of them this year, so i’m just going to be more flexible with it again and read the most i can from it.

Plus: i also wanna try and see if i can read everyday. for that i won’t count pages or percentage, since my goal for this is to read as much as i want… even if it’s a little bit.

[annsillsomething]

this is going to be a long post

so I watched the rings of power

and I have to emphasize that I didn’t pay anything for it because I would never pay someone for defiling the beautiful world J. R. R. Tolkien created

well, I say I didn’t pay anything but it have definitely costed me some nerves

and not only because it is so devastatingly different from the original work, it hurt, but I was willing to give the creators a chance to tell a « new story »

if they had succeeded I would have still complained because I believe it’s unacceptable when dealing with such a well written and detailed world like J. R. R. Tolkien’s but there would have been at least something positive about the whole situation

but this series don’t tell a good « new story »

and I don’t have to see the end of it to be completely sure

the number of scenes that do not make any sense even in the context of the « new story » is ridiculously large

like that one with Galadriel jumping overboard in the middle of the sea

and speaking of Galadriel

let’s ignore for a moment the fact that what we see in the rings of power is a completely different character (where is her husband, by the way, I wonder)

but I can’t ignore that she was turned into Mary Sue

like her single-handedly killing the troll that at least three of her soldiers failed to even scratch

or defeating 4 guards in full armor while being in chains and unarmed

that’s not what a strong female character is supposed to be, that’s a badly written overpowered character whose personality can be described in two words: independent (which is more like arrogant asshole who « doesn’t need anyone’s help ») and badass (not in a good way, something like « I’ll punch you in the face if you as much as look at me slightly wrong »)

seems like more than two words, but I wanted to be as clear as possible

I don’t understand why this kind of characters is so popular nowadays (not among the audience but in the industry, I still can’t get over Carol Danvers… she was so damn annoying and flat)

ok, some might say « she is an ancient elf with thousands years of experience », but so are her soldiers, what makes her different?

honestly, I’ve got so many questions, Galadriel in the books is incredible why make her so… shallow

ok, enough about Galadriel

let’s move on to other stupid things

Arondir (and some elves whose names I didn’t catch, they died too fast anyway) fighting the orcs in their camp (or whatever that was, I’m not sure I got it right)

the scene looks so unrealistic and physically impossible… ugh… I just can’t, it’s not even cool because the rings of power is not an anime, it’s supposed to be fantasy (probably dark fantasy in this case) series, that implies some magic, yes, but none of defying gravity and flying on the giant chains

then there was the tunnel that Arondir was investigating

that’s some of the horror film’s logic like « let’s go into a potentially dangerous place which is hard to get out of fast »

additional points for going alone

and when he tried to get deeper when he spotted enemies instead of going back the way he came

without knowing whether there is a way out

that might be my claustrophobia talking but I still believe it wasn’t the smartest move

and I don’t think this character is supposed to be stupid

those are the things that annoyed me the most

and I really try not to dive into the abyss of complaints about canon deviations (J. R. R. Tolkien’s works are very important to me personally, I spent my whole youth reading and rereading everything I could get my hands on, so yeah… I don’t want to speak about all this shit in the series now)

the story itself is barely there

4 (5th being watched while I edit the post) episodes in and nothing actually happened

and I don’t like where this is going (for a lot of reasons)

there is another thing which… surprised me

while watching the scene where Teo is hiding from orcs I found myself hoping they will find him

I really wanted them to

and this is when I realized that the problem is even bigger than I estimated

that has been the first time I actually rooted for orcs

I couldn’t find a single reason to empathize with Teo or any other positive character (aside from Durin, Disa and Nori with her family, those are fine), I didn’t want to see them happy or even alive, I didn’t want to hear their story

this has been the first time I wanted Sauron to actually succeed in his quest to conquer the world

and that must mean something

in conclusion, I can say that I didn’t have high expectations for these series to begin with (at least after the trailers, before that… talking about it is just going to make me sad) so I wasn’t too disappointed

it is exactly as bad as I thought it would be but now I can make a list of things that make it bad instead of just saying that it is

my sister made me watch it to see me suffer (she got what she wanted)

Upd.: the 5th episode was something

I’ve never heard anything more stupid than the explanation of the necessity of mithril for the elves (no spoilers my friends, I want you to hear it yourself)

someone must have been drunk or high when they came up with it

it was so terribly stupid I couldn’t even get angry

the rest of the episodes pales in comparison to this shit

I’m still rooting for orcs and whoever is leading them (I don’t care who this guy is, Sauron or someone else, I like his voice and overall vibe), haha

oh, and Númenóreans’ armor is probably made of cardboard or something like that, really, it looks so cheap and ugly, ugh

well, it probably won’t protect from anything but at least the soldiers won’t sink if they fall overboard heheh

[relatablegenzwriter]

How to write erotic moments or short stories without making it convoluted, cheesy or tacky? I grew up very religious and although i no longer believe have lots of trouble with sexuality in general. I'd like to try writing stuff as exploration cause i find p*rn too exploitive and iffy and dont wanna support that industry. but i'm not really sure what to do to do it "right" instead of dull or cringy. I just sit for hours with a blank paper till i give up

Writing Non-Tacky Sex and Romance

I'll start right off the bat by saying that this is definitely not my writing area of expertise, and I don't know how much I can tell you that you don't already know. So I'm gonna offer a couple of tips and then send you to a lot of posts that might answer your question better than I can! (P.S. I know your question was about sex specifically, but as you can see from the title, all of this can be applied to romantic scenes as well, which I got similar questions about.)

1. Be careful with metaphors. Of course, no writing style is "right" or "wrong", but flowery language can often make or break any scene, especially romantic ones. Many times, the overuse of dramatic, romantic metaphors can overload a scene and make it feel cheesy and cliche. And let's face it, millions of tiny stars aren't bursting around a couple every time they kiss, and we all know that sex is not magical in the slightest. I think the biggest problem with these kinds of descriptors, though, is not that they make you groan with how sappy the writing is, but because they often feel impersonal to your characters. So instead of your character "hearing a symphony swell around them", maybe "for a moment all their worries about [plot conflict/subplot conflict] seemed to move toward the back of their head". (not my best descriptor i could come up with on the spot but you get it) Although, while this will remove the cliche aspect of your scenes, it can still go overboard. Bringing me to my next point…

2. Be realistic. Like I said before, not every romantic or sexual interaction your characters have is going to feel like a Nicholas Sparks movie. There are lots and lots of awkward, ordinary moments. Include these! Of course, you probably won't want to make every moment of every sex scene say "yeah it wasn't that special" (unless of course this is the direction you want your story to take). If your character enjoys kissing or sleeping with someone, say that. But there are very few people whose worldview has shifted after one night together, and I doubt this is true for your characters, either.

3. Be careful about your source information. It's okay to take inspiration from everywhere, but it's important to take everything with a grain of salt. Particularly with sex scenes, writers tend to take inspiration from two major places: porn and WattPad (you know, THOSE fics). Keep in mind that porn is not meant to be realistic in the slightest, and I could go on a whole other tangent about the horrible expectations it sets for sex in real life. And don't get me wrong about wattpad: there are great writers on there and it's a great option to share and read fiction (for free, too!). But a lot of the ridiculously smutty fics, while entertaining and well-written, depict fun-sounding but sometimes unrealistic sex, that may not fit into the fantasy novel you're writing, @sjmaas. (Disregard that last bit if you are writing something akin to wattpad smut) Also, just a little side note that you should never be treating porn or wattpad as legitimate sex ed for real life!

4. Try building your scene from the ground up. I did a post on this a while back, but I used to really struggle to write romantic scenes until I figured out a method that works for me. Basically, you picture your scene as a building that you first need to lay the framework for, then fill in the cement/bricks/whatever, then furnish and decorate. First, I go through and write all the dialogue that will be taking place and mark crucial events. (example: "Hey, can I tell you something?" "What?" "I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." [kiss]) Next, I rewrite the scene almost monotonously, in the plainest way actions can be written. ("They held hands." "She took her jacket off." "He walked across the room.") Once I have my "building", then I can go in and add all the emotions and little details. I do this so that I don't have to stare at a blank page, since I already know how my scene is going to go. Then all I have to do is fill in some little details that make the scene more personal to my characters. I highly recommend this to you, since you talked about how you know what you want to write but can get scared of a blank page (hey, me too!).

5. Extra Resources! Here's some people that can probably help better than I can with specifics:

Including Consent In Writing (SUPER IMPORTANT)

Non-Explicit Scenes

Explicit Scenes

Romance In General (with a section containing tons of nsfw writing advice)

Good luck with your story!

[popanalysis99]

Toxic Men in TV Series who are the absolute worst.

(TW: R*pe and Sexual Assault)

While there are some men who seem to be interesting, let’s not deny the fact that there are most male characters who act like their “toxicity” is cool but honestly, it’s horrible and something not to root for. So here are the toxic male characters who are the absolute worst, excuse my misandry:

Kevin McRoberts - Kevin Can F**k Himself

We had to start somewhere from the bottom of the underworld. A recent entry on this list, Kevin is the lead character Allison’s husband who...let’s just say has the brain of a dumb frat bro who is extremely high on pot and hasn’t recovered since then. While most of the sitcoms in the past would portray these so-called goofy and dim-witted husbands as “big fun” and lovable, Kevin is not like that, at all. In this anti-sitcom nightmare, Kevin literally believes that the whole world revolves around him. He plans such stupid unrealistic schemes to seize the day, recklessly spends the savings on stupid irrelevant sports merchandises and doesn’t even let Allison have her own agency outside of his life. Plus he is so petty and spiteful to the point he destroys one good thing that any of the women in the series have, like Allison’s dream job and Patty’s love life. And that latter was because she didn’t bring him a burger! All of this makes him look less funny and more tyrannical. No wonder poor Allison got spurred into wanting to kill him.

Ross Geller - Friends

Ross may seemed like a “nice guy”, but let’s just agree it was a facade. Ross believes that he knows what’s best for the women he dates in the series and thinks he is superior and is always right about everything. He is seems extremely disturbed over the fact that his ex-wife, Carol is a lesbian and is jilted towards her current wife, Susan and snarks at the latter for it. And then there is her extreme control and jealousy towards Rachel, especially in her career. While Rachel is no saint either, Ross jumps to the conclusion that the man who got her a perfect job wants to sleep with her, then goes out of his way to humiliate and mark his territory on her and even if it’s revealed that the said guy has a girlfriend of his own, Ross still doesn’t abandon his theory, unless he believes that the guy is cheating on his girlfriend with Rachel. And then there is the fact that he joined his student girlfriend on a spring break just to have her all to himself, not caring about the fact that what if one of his students or colleagues would’ve seen him on TV with her and that could’ve put him in a huge scrutiny.

Joe Goldberg - You

The show is basically built around how toxic Joe is, but this didn’t stop him from having his own fanbase apparently, with most of them glossing over his actions. But Joe is not a dream boyfriend at all. Once he sees a woman in front of him, he immediately gets obsessed with her and believes she belongs to him and him only. And to achieve that, he stalks her, he checks everything about her, kills people he believes are harmful to her when he himself is the same and when the woman finds out about him and rejects him, he kidnaps and kills her and the cycle begins again.

Chuck Bass - Gossip Girl

What is it with the teen drama industry’s obsession with the “Bad Boy who can be redeemed with love” trope? Chuck Bass is “the bad boy” of Gossip Girl. If his attempted rape of Serena and Jenny didn’t give fans an indication that how deranged he is, his violent and emotional abuse of his girlfriend Blair cements him as this. He slut-shamed women around him, hit Blair once and even traded her for a hotel ownership and somehow he gets a happy ending with her at the end! What?

Nate Jacobs - Euphoria

Nate is a star quarterback of his high school football team and seems like he has it all, but underneath, he is fucking deranged. His untamed manly rage causes him to physically and emotionally abuse his girlfriend Maddy and blackmail Jules, who didn’t do anything wrong but just sleep with his father, which makes me think that Nate is blackmailing her into lying to the cops about his assault on Maddy when she wasn’t even there when it happened just because it’s fun for him. Honestly, I’d like to see the imagine Rue and Jules had of killing him become a reality someday.

Dawson Leery - Dawson’s Creek

Just because the show is named after him since he is the protagonist, doesn’t justify his actions. Dawson sees himself as some sort of a Nice Guy hero who believes he is entitled to everything. He has this extreme view on women and how they should fulfil his fantasies of his Rom-Com world. He is extremely critical of Jen when he finds out about her promiscuous past and tells her that she should be ashamed of herself for it, and gets jealous when his two best friends Joey and Pacey begin dating. And when he was briefly in the movie business, he was a rookie but was already a primadonna with the director and crew of the movie was working on and insulted a film critic for criticising his movie which was actually bad.

Kilgrave - Jessica Jones

Kilgrave is the main villain of the Marvel-Netflix series Jessica Jones. He becomes obsessed with the titular heroine when she breaks off from his mind-control. Before that, he spent years treating her as his sex slave and raping her constantly, which left her traumatised. He begins to stalker and believe it will be a “lover’s reunion” when he will see her again someday. He manipulates and brainwashes everyone around him to his whim and treats most women as objects but despite all that, sees himself as the good guy of the situation. Even after Jessica finally gives him his just desserts, he still haunts her everyday.

Fernando Vera - Mr. Robot

This spawn of satan is the reason why I decided to write this list in the first place. Where do I even start? He is first introduced into the series when he forces Shayla to go on a date with her and later rape her. This is what causes the misandrist vigilante Elliot to sell him out to the FBI and this apparently turns on Vera and moves his unhealthy obsession to Elliot. He has Shayla killed when he tricks Elliot into breaking him out of prison, then returns to have him all to himself by kidnapping his therapist Krista and forcing information out of her about Elliot so that he could “break him and build him back up”, like a fucked up version of The Taming Of The Shrew. He psychologically abuses Elliot into remembering being sexually abused by his father as a child and proceeds to gaslight him into thinking that he was just helping him. The huge problem with Vera is that he sees himself as some sort of Christian Grey who believes that his abuse towards both Shayla and Elliot is charming. Whenever someone failed his desires, he immediately gets bored of them and moves onto someone else, like when he got Shayla killed and moved onto Elliot. That’s why it felt so cathartic when Krista killed him.

Tate Langdon - American Horror Story

Apparently, he is Tate Langdon and he is...hot?? While most of the AHS fans glorified him due to his emo bad boy nature, let’s not forget the fact that he was a school shooter who murdered innocent students and staff and was in general possessive and toxic towards Violet. So no way he is boyfriend material!

Don Draper - Mad Men

Don Draper was the main protagonist of Mad Men. He was an advertisement and marketing executive who had a lot of vices and did a lot of horrible things such as cheat on his wife and treat almost every women and colleagues like crap.

Dexter Morgan - Dexter

While Dexter might seem like the serial-killer killer, there are a lot of things about him which are unadmirable. He gaslights those he is close to so that they could get off his back, obstructs evidence pointing out to him, captures those who didn’t even fit his victims like Doakes and caused the deaths of LaGuerta, Rita and finally his sister Debra. Yeah I think you should stay away from him.

Walter White - Breaking Bad

Aaah..the worst of the worst. Walter White is the protagonist of the series Breaking Bad. He first starts off as a pushover high school teacher who isn’t respected by anyone. When he gets diagnosed with Lung Cancer, he gets into the meth business so that he could support his family, but we all know that it’s not true. He relishes on the power and glory from being a drug dealer and then kingpin and because of that he ends up abusing both Jesse and Skyler, emotionally abusing and selling out the former to the sadistic Nazis and raping the latter several times. He is so petty and spiteful that he kills anyone insulting his ego, just ask Mike. And even after all this, he still claims that it’s all for his family. Like what?

[fictionalmenmistress]

(my) TMNT HEADCANONS:

(Part One)

(With dialogue tidbits)

• Mikey wishes he could have experienced grippy-socks as a little kid. (Those little kid socks with rubber dots on the bottom so babies don't slip on the floor) If he got grippy-socks as a young adult, he would still go ballistic, even tho they can only fit on his fingertips.

• Leo actually is a Shakespeare buff. He can recite lines, and gush about how his favorite plays are usually ones not known quite well, like "King Lear". He has this secret fantasy of reciting lines below a whisper, into the ear of the love of his life, if he could have one. One of his favorite hobbies, when he's not training or meditating, is to pick up a thick book and read a new play.

• One would expect Donnie to pee his pants from fear, but he actually watches horror movies to laugh after a long working day. He finds the unrealistic depictions of monsters and supernatural things laughable... especially how the characters handle things under pressure.

"Pfft, HAHAHA! Why did she go in the attic? That's the LAST place you'd go, aside from the basement!" *snickers* "I- I mean, at this point, she might as well have earned getting caught by the cannibal."

"Donnie... I say this as your older brother. You have a problem." Leo blatantly mutters, watching the screen with his arms comfortably crossed.

"Yeah yeah," He says, waving his hand dismissively. "Let me pick my poisons. Its a guilty pleasure! What can I say?" Donnie shrugs.

• Leo is the only one who can watch Horror movies beside Donnie. He's passively bored by them, and doesn't like the unnecessary gore, but if its on, he'll sit down and watch it.

• They terrify Raph the MOST, but he'd rather die before he ever admits he's afraid from 'a lil old movie' (He has a reputation to uphold). Mikey is openly terrified, unashamed to scream or jump, yelling to turn them off. Jump scares are his movie nemesis.

• Raph is a softie for children. He'll say things like: "NAH, I can't watch that lil booger-machine!" But its really just a cover-up for him being scared of hurting the child on accident, being much bigger and stronger. He secretly LOVES kids, and is great with them. They're just drawn to him, and it melts his heart.

"Raph, why are you making those weird happy faces? You good?" Donnie asked.

"Wh-wha? Sh-shut it, ding dong! I'm playin with da baby"

"Baby? *gasp* WHERE?!" (Mikey likes kids too, but Raph actually is the better baby-sitter.)

• Raph is great at consoling children, even if he's frustrated or nervous from the screaming and tantrums. The children test him, but respect him. Mikey... he'll just start crying with the child.

• There's a place near the lair in the underground, where used/forgotten things are illegally dumped. Splinter has a secret hobby of scavenging around for nice things *its partly a rat instinct, to collect things*, and he would often dissapear for hours to go 'shopping, but for free'. In the early days, Splinter scoured through there to find nice presents for the boys. Sometimes, he let the boys come with him one by one, to look for keepsakes or gifts for the others. He wanted them to have happy birthdays, and a nice Christmas, like other little children got to. To this day, if he finds something nice, he'll suprise the boys with a cute, newspaper-wrapped gift.

"Ah! Here, Leonardo. I found a fascinating new story for you." *smiles and holds a small book out over Leo's shoulder*

"Oh... thank you, Sensei..." *Leo smiles blissfully, deeply intrigued while flipping through the pages* "Wow, I've been wanting to read this classic for AGES!"

"Raphael! My son, I think you'll find these new shorts to fit you quite well." *holds out folded grey boxing shorts with a lil smile*

"Ah, thanks Pop." Raph mutters, flashing a crooked grin, milking his excitement to make Splinter extra happy.

"Donnatello! Ah, just who I was looking for! I got you a little something-"

"Wow... gee, thank you father! This will be a great component for my molecular diffuser! Its JUST the industrial-grade magnet I needed..." Donnie rambled, pushing his glasses up his nose arch, with a twinkle in his eye. Splinter chuckled.

"Michaelangelo, my little one, I have this packet of little color things for your collection-"

"STICKERS! Aaaaaa, thanks dad! Wow, look at this little kitty-burrito one!" Mikey shouts, holding it tight to his chest. "This one is for YOU!" He smiles ear to ear, holding a little star sticker out, that reads: '#1 dad'

*it makes Splinter super happy to see his boys happy*

[jeanjauthor]

I was reading about mediveal horses in fantasy and how they’re unrealistic. And usually the horses were avarge. But isn’t a shire horse origin in 1066-Ish? Could that be used in a mediveal fantasy?

It could be, but you might want to do some research to know what those shire horses were actually used for, and what they weren’t.  Horses were not owned by everyone, and were not put to the plow for a long time.  Why not?  Because horses were more expensive than oxen.

An ox is nothing more than a castrated bull that’s been trained to pull a plow, a wagon, etc, and if you have cows for milk and dairy and beef, you’d want to keep most of the females, but not keep most of the males--not as bulls, because your cattle would be goring each other.  So any male cattle born would be assessed for qualities, and either kept for stud (only 1-2 on a farm, IF you have the room to keep a bull separate from the cows), slaughtered for beef, or castrated and trained to be a work animal.

Cows will drop a fairly equal ratio of the genders, but female cattle produce milk, making them valuable to keep around and keep fed.  Horses...well, Mongols might milk mares, but that really wasn’t an European thing, which is what a lot of fantasy (talking about the stuff written in English, here) is based upon.  And mares don’t produce nearly as much milk as cows do.  So economically, it makes more sense to keep cattle around and put them to work in the earlier medieval periods.

Shire horses are huge because they are meant for pulling plows and wagons (their solid hooves don’t break up the rows and the soil nearly as much as the split hooves of cattle).  They’re not usually trained to carry armored warriors into battle, etc.  Medievally, there were horses trained for specific tasks, like the smooth-gaited riding palfrey.  It was not a specific breed of horse, instead being picked for its temperament and trained in its movements.  While certain knights did have big destriers to ride...the majority of mounted warriors actually rode smaller horses, like rounceys and coursers.

And of course, the mule is often overlooked.  This hybrid between a donkey and a mare was the “workhorse” of medieval life, if it wasn’t oxen.  They could carry a lot more weight, were more intelligent, and ate less (or at least didn’t have to eat as much quality food in winter), making them inexpensive to keep.  There might have been mules trained for warfare, for scouting, and certainly for “blending in” when spying on a neighboring region.  Just go in as a trader or traveler with your packs on your mule, and people won’t think twice.

Additionally, you might want to research when stirrups were invented and used--Roman cavalry did not have stirrups, because while they were invented in BCE Asia, they didn’t reach Europe until some time after the collapse of the Roman Empire.

...As you can see, using a shire horse for something in your story in a way that your equestrian-knowledgeable readers won’t go “...wtf??” over can require a bit of educational effort.  Presuming this is a fantasy set in a created world and not an historical real-world setting, you can get away with many things...but if there’s one thing to take away from all of this, understand that shire horses are BIG, and will need to EAT.  Lotta pounds on that thar horse!

And they’re not a bicycle.  Your character cannot just get off their steed and go inside a house for the night.  That horse must be given water, and a rubdown, the saddle needs to be removed to prevent galling and sores and scarring from those saddle sores, they need to have adequate food of the right quality--shire horses are big, so they need a lot of calories, but you cannot give a horse nothing but grain, however high-calorie that feed may be.  They need fiber from grasses and hay--they do not eat straw, which is calorically and nutritionally deficient!--they may even need tree browse (yes, horses and cattle will eat leaves, not just grasses), and sometimes you’ll want to feed them fruit, but not always.

Also, sugar cubes are very much an Industrial Revolution thing, because the cubes are made via complex machinery.  Sugar lumps are what you’d serve medievally...but you’d probably not give pure sugar to a horse, because sugar is expensive in a medieval setting.  Honey drizzled over dried fruit slices would be a more likely treat, and you’d certainly feed your horse (or donkey, mule, etc) the core from your apple or your pear.

Additionally, horses are herd animals.  They need companions around them or they become distressed from anxiety and nervousness, not having other sets of eyes and ears to help watch out for danger.  This doesn’t have to be another horse...though it should be, on a farm.  There are companion animals that are goats and mules and donkeys, and I’ve even heard of dogs and cats--yes, housecats, or more properly, barncats--being companion animals to horses.

Consider your characters’ socio-economic backgrounds before assigning them a shire horse, make sure they treat that horse as a living being in need of care and not like a bicycle that can be easily set aside and forgotten about, and decide if what you need is a really big horse (because sometimes you do!) or if something smaller or faster or whatever might serve your story better.

And lastly, horses cannot gallop for more than a few minutes.  Galloping is sprinting.  Not even Usain Bolt can sprint for more than a few minutes!  Cantering is also not something that can be maintained 24/7, or even for an entire hour.  Horses need to be ridden at the walk, the amble, and/or the trot as much or more often as at the canter, especially when burdened with armor, gear, rider, etc.

Humans can out-distance horses over the long run.

We are pursuit predators.  While horses and dogs can outrun us in a sprint, we can literally walk other animals to death.  Wolves can almost keep up with a reasonably fit human who is used to walking everywhere (which is your basic medieval traveler)...but even though wolves are pros at long-distance travel, they still have to stop and rest more frequently, and horses far more frequently still.  Horses give us the advantage of short bursts of higher speed, and the ability to carry or (even better yet) pull far more weight in supplies, etc, than we can haul ourselves...but they cannot run forever.

If your human has enough of a head start that can negate the sprinting capacity of a horse, and if there is enough underbrush to just barely admit a human to pass through it, but not a horse, a human on foot can escape from mounted people pursuing them.

...All of this is just scratching the surface of writing realistic horses in fantasy, and I am not an expert by any means.  (I have, however, listened to many, and done my own research.)  So...go chat with equestrians, ask them questions, look up resources online, and ask yourself some questions. 

How would this character have/afford a shire horse?  How would they train this horse?  What uses would they have for this horse? How do they take care of the horse?  What equipment do they carry for taking care of the horse, riding, etc?  What companion animals does the horse get to have? What are their plans for recovering the horse if it spooks and runs off?  How much does the horse consider the character a friend and/or herd-member?

Yes, you could ignore all these questions and just have the horse around when it’s convenient and vanish it when it’s inconvenient...but unless it’s like an enchanted bridle or a brooch, a ring, a summoning statuette, whatever, imbued with the spirit of a faithful steed (fantasy writing is great for this stuff)...you’re going to need to thing about these sorts of things if you want to have your horses in your fantasy setting be realistic enough that the equestrian community won’t *facepalm heavysigh* any time they read a scene in your story with an equine.

The “enchanted bridle” thing is how I pretend my characters in World of Warcraft don’t have to worry about actually housing, feeding, etc, their steeds, and it’s how they can ride or fly all day without tiring because it’s not a living being, it’s an enchantment full of magic.  BUT, if you’re going to go this route because it’s easier...you’ll still need to consider, how did your character acquire this enchanted object?  How could they afford it? Did they make it themselves? Or did they find it, or steal it?  How is it powered?  Does it have a limit to how much it can be used in a day, or summoned and dismissed and resummoned?  Does it require a set period of waiting time between being dismissed and being resummoned? 

Is there a chance of this enchanted item breaking?  Remember, it doesn’t have to break at the worst moment in the story; it could break earlier, when they have time to fix or replace it...but do they have the resources to fix or replace it?  Not just in terms of buying or craft, but, are enchanted bridles or horse statuettes common in that region?  For that matter, if they’re not common, is it going to cause confusion to people when they go around or into a building for a few moments, only to come back to see absolutely zero horse anywhere, because while they were gone you dismounted and dismissed the enchantment?

...Okay, okay, I’ve gone on long enough!  You can see how this one topic can quickly get out of hand.  And again, I am not an expert on equestrians in stories.  But if you do a bit of research and keep some realism in mind...you can write realistic scenes involving horses, shire style or otherwise.