#like that labrinth song

[madameducyberversailles]

Saw someone talk shit against trans people and look at that-

Of fucking course. The icing on the cake, which you saw already:

Bruh. It's almost a formula at this point.

[snallavanta]

and when edvin releases his season 3 wilhelm playlist then what

[politemagic]

Dominic Fike mention!!! Em stop having excellent taste in music I'm already in love with you what more do you want

TONEE!!!!!

i love dominic fike sm. like the vibe of wcpgw is just 😚🤌🏼

you have impeccable taste in music AS WELL lovely!!!!!! i feel like our tastes vibe quite well together <3

[rainyautumn-andwhispers]

only a genius could love a woman like me♡

[libraryofzeglyth]

tiktok by natminsi | posted may 17, 2023

Only a genius could love with Jennie. pls support them ! Ib:@/k

[ladylaviniya]

Okay, if we confessing things about Apollo (Blood of Zeus), I have to tell someone my fantasy bc it burns my inside. I want him to fu*k me in his original height, when he is so tall and strong and big. When Zeus hugged Heron's mom in the Underworld it was so good to see the height difference or when Apollo was standing beside Heron. It's still a manageable size but to think about the stretch, the pain and pleasure combo and him being super excited that you would do this for him. Like Gods usually downsize themselves when having sex with a mortal but in this case his lover would express this wish to have him in his original size and it would turn out in this way is more comfortable for him. Maybe the lover is his priestess or something and this happens in one of his temples. (sorry for the confession, I have just seen your post about Blood of Zeus Apollo) This is of course not a request but if it interest you I would be curious of your take on this story if you would ever wanna write this or anything else for Apollo.

I love that you dare to write dominant/submissive or master/slave relationship. We need a super dark Apollo fic where his priestess is super submissive and wants to serve him well so this is why she asks him bc she wants him to be comfortable and he just goes with it.

This is so embarrassing please if this is not your taste just ignore it.

Blood Of Zeus: Apollo’s Pythia

Story Synopsis: You serve the god Apollo since he has threatened to bring a plague upon the people of Delphi.

Pairing: Apollo X Priestess!reader

Story Warnings: 18+ Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Vaginal sex, Humiliation, Size kink, size difference. Mentions of Loss of Virginity, Loss of Innocence, Ancient Greek God Mythology, Mentions of Animal Sacrifice, Master/Slave dynamic. Mostly Porn without Plot.

Authors Notes: Inspired by the song Still Don’t Know My Name by Labrinth. This was requested by @annievvv7 and I am considering writing a prologue and another chapter for when the reader is on Olympus. A Pythia is what they called the priestess at the oracle of Delphi.

The sounds of grunting and sucking of wet flesh echoed the marble walls of his temple.

“You’re thinking too much, my sweet little pythia,” The God of the sun whispered into your neck, his bright glowing hair tickled and blanketed your face and chest. His warm, large palm trailed down your soft belly and dipped between your trembling thighs. His agile fingers discovered your sensitive clit and rubbed gentle circles. His touch was so light and heavenly.

“Relax for me, your god.” he cooed.

He had you nude and spread open for him, your white chiton toga was pooled in a pile at the foot of his altar slab along with his glittering cape.

The stone beneath your back was stained in dark crimson from the countless goats that had been sacrificed in his name. At his command, you were at his mercy, vulnerable and obedient to his will. His presence alone was intimidating and his gaze pierced through your flesh as you were exposed, awaiting his words and commands. You were priestess of the temple of Apollo, you were raised to serve his will...even if it meant forgoing your vows of purity.

Apollo was correct, your mind continued to float away from his attentions. He saw it as strictly a challenge to bring back your focus to him and what he was doing to you. His two fingers, long and thick, carefully pressed inside your body.

It had been a month ago when you made the deal with the divine being. His threat was fearsome and you would not test him. It was a difficult decision, you had decided to save the people of Delphi by becoming his soul bounded slave...because he had promised if you denied him...you and the people of Delphi would face his wrath that would wrought a horrible plague.

You hadn’t known at the time of the deal that he had wanted your body in such a intimate and humiliating way. Upon your first time, Apollo had been domineering in inflicting his power...it could have been worse- you did bleed and you did try to fight him off, but he let you live and he granted you a merciful pleasure you had never known existed when you finally submitted to him. When he had come to you, you were a delicate virgin...now you were his desperate whore.

Your religion was strict with abstinence, you had even taken a sacred oath for Apollo as his representing pythia. Never did you truly believe he would be the one to take your purity. He said it was his rite to fuck you if not any other man. There was no questioning a gods rite.

Apollo’s fingers curled, brushing that spot inside you that made your vision blur, and it tore you from your thoughts as you arched into his palm. You made a pathetic whine and gurgle.

“Oh blessed pythia, you honour me,” he purred mockingly, his golden irises flashing as he looked down at your sweaty body. He drew his fingers out, holding them to the light to see how they gleamed before he licked them clean with his devilish tongue. Your lips parted and chest still heaved catching your breath. He smirked and bent down to steal your mouth in a hungry kiss, the taste of yourself on his lips made your core throb.

You pushed against his shoulders and gasped, “My lord, please lay down upon your temple floor...”

His brows lifted, “Making demands of me? Your god?” he still smirked, “Little pythia, I could punish you for such insolence.”

But he wouldn’t...he liked playing too much with you, especially when you were forced to grant the people their future among the oracle practice. The absolutely naughty things he would say to you, knowing you'd find it hard to answer the poor soul who merely wanted to know their fortune. How he would truly humiliate you and make you feel breathless by the day was done.

Your face was dishevelled in total lust, licking your lips, you pushed his shoulders again and felt his hands lift you by the waist carefully down from the altar until your bare feet touched the cold floor.

He crouched down and sat on the ground. His face was levelled to yours. You were by no means graceful but it did not stop his desire for you. You stood astride his thighs, your palms on his shoulder attempted to push him back. He let you.

Laying nearly flat on the ground, he balanced his upper back on his elbow and forearms. He tilted his head at you. You had to sit on his legs and pelvis to perform, or else the strain of your human legs would hurt more than the pleasure you’d hope to gain and provide.

You mewled desperately, reaching between you both to take purchase of his intimate member. It hung like a fucking horse, harden like a stone pillars rising up. A soft carpet of golden hair covered the base of his masculine appendage. His skin was still as gloriously golden and dark beneath his waist tunic kilt. You wondered if he had bathed himself nude in the pure light of the sizzling sun. His hard cock jumped in your hand, the veins pulsing against your palm. The God was huge, larger than any human man you had ever seen bathing in the springs.

And for some dumb reason you had insisted he be like this, his natural height and size instead of shifting into an average sized man. He was your god and you were his priestess, his pythia. You wanted to keep him pleased.

You reached between your thighs and rub the wetness there to bring it up and wrap around his cock. He gasped, amused and curious. Did you truly intend to take him at this size?

His large hands bent around your waist, digging into the skin of your soft bottom.

“Careful,” he murmured, “You greedy thing.”

You leaned forward, lining his thick bulb with your small opening, admiring the glitter in his golden gaze he held on you. His fingers ran up and down your spine encouragingly. When you rolled your hips forward you scrunched your face up preparing for the almighty stretch.

Your lips parted wide open, a horrible groan bellied from your mouth as you sank yourself down every inch of his unhuman length and thickness. You tried not to think about the possibility of it being the same size as your own forearm.

A low moan rumbled through his entire body that made your insides jump in delight and tingle. Apollo was happy to let you have this control, but he never took his eyes off you, never shut them. He knew the resentment still in your heart, the aching darkness for revenge. Of course if you tried to strangle him, stab him, even slit his throat he would not die, it would just hurt and perhaps piss him off.

You keened and whimpered, your body trembled as your lower lips pressed down to his soft pubic fuzz. For a few moments you were totally still. Tears streamed down your cheeks. He was impressed. His lips parted. You were admirable, trying so hard.

He moved his hands around. One thumb pressed to your sweet nipple and another to your clit, rubbing circles against them both. You gasped and felt your walls clamp down around him. He coaxed you through the pain, blooming inside you a new pleasure.

Apollo’s starved eyes travelled over your entire body, his eyes trailing low to the land where you both connected as he waited for you to move.

Carefully with your hands shaking on his chest, you lifted a little with a hiss, to roll down and sit perfectly again on his cock, letting him slide deep inside. You both groaned. It was exactly what you needed. The pressure of his cock, the feeling of being flooded with his cock so deep and entirely you couldn’t think of anything else but of your god creating this divine match.

You rode him very slowly. He let you lead at first until he grabbed your waist and jerked his hips up.

Submissively, you braced your hands on his strong glowing chest, feeling the smooth and tight muscles beneath your fingers, you rocked your hips back onto him, hunting the ultimate pleasure that was so quickly approaching, giving him everything you had. His eyes roamed from your face and your breasts, watching the way they moved as you practically bounced on his mighty rod. When he could feel your body growing weak and exhausted, he held you tight against him and began to thrust his hips up, slamming into you.

“That’s it, little pythia.”

He bowed his head, taking your tit and nipple into his mouth. He bit down, sending a shockwave through me, bringing your senses back momentarily. You gasped out loudly, your walls clenching. Your nails dug into his biceps. He sucked the nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirled and he hummed with delight at the sound of your noises. His fingers rubbed harder into your clit. Your soft whimpers began begging as he pushed harder up into you. Your lips pressed just above his ear while he sucked.

“You enjoy this my sweet slave?” He asked, even though he already knew the answer. Your sweet tears fell onto his shoulder.

“Yes my lord Apollo,” you whimpered, your toes curled and your fingernails dug up into his long blonde mane. You could feel the tsunami beginning to creep up your spine, your body surrendered to him.

“Then show me! Release your praise,” Apollo ordered, his voice a growl in your ear. It was too great. The bold bright light exploded behind your eyes. You screamed into the side of his neck, sobbing as the wave of desire broke the band.

Your muscles strangled his pulsing cock. Limply you sagged against his body while he steadied his thrusts and dragged the last few out, thrusting hard down once as he flooded your womb with his golden cum. His lips brushed softly against your cheek. He was slow and kind as he lifted you up and off of his cock. Your insides felt bruised.

He held you close to his chest, reaching out for his cape. It was like a wave of glittering white and gold. Like shining white sand, warm and comforting on your wet skin.

He covered your body in it, before lowering you to lay on the marble floor.

He eventually pulled out, and you could feel his seed start to leak out down your thighs and drip onto the cold floor. Your lips parted and your legs closed, embarrassed. He chuckled and kissed your salty sweat drenched forehead.

“You look so beautiful with my cum inside you.”

Apollo’s finger gathered the escaping slickness and pushed it back into your spent body, causing another shaky moan to slip from your lips.

“Best not to waste it.”

You trembled and boldly reached out to him. Tendrils of his long mane were combed through your fingers. So soft and smooth. He smelt like the morning, sweet dew and the warm springs. He cradled you in the crook of his arm, his skin was a great warmth along with his cape. His hand petted your body, trailing his finger tips up and down as you combed his hair softly. Come the rising sun, he would be gone again. He would speak to you daily through the oracle bowl, but you would not feel his powerful body until his next visit.

“Will I see you again?” You croaked, “Next month? Will your duties allow it my lord?”

Apollo was calm. Spent. He was pleased and relaxed. His cock had softened. His palm rested on your belly.

“No.”

Your face fell slightly. You couldn’t believe it but you knew you would miss him, his teasing touch.

“You will see me everyday...” he purred and kissed your cheek, “I have decided, you will return with me to Olympus.”

Your mouth fell open, your eyes widened. You didn’t know what to say.

“But my duties? I am to read the oracle and-”

His brows lifted, his hand pressed your hands above your head, his other finger pointed at your chest squarely.

“Your duties are to serve me, or did you forget the oath you made to me so quickly?”

With a fluttering heart and regretful fear you shook your head, “No, no my lord master. It’s just...what will I be if not your pythia?”

“My slave...my bride maybe...”

He bent down and pressed his mouth to yours before you could say anything further. He redressed himself as you sat up, stunned in silence.

“Br-bride?”

He smirked, and held out his hand to you, “Come with me my dear slave.”

You took his hand and he carried you to his summoned chariot. You would reach the city of the gods and we’d the great Apollo. God of the Sun.

[cassiesc0rner]

Impurities IV

Synopsis: You're the new girl at East Highland High, your only goal is to get through school. Until you come across Nate Jacobs

Genre: smut, angst

Pairing: Nate x fem!reader

Warnings: bad parenting, lying, jealousy, invasion of privacy, spying, dark themes,

oral (receiving), lmk if I missed something

Song rec: You - 2Feet | Dracula - Labrinth | Sour Switchblade - Elita | Saccharine - Jazmine Bean

WC: +8,6k

Other parts: previous part, next part

A/N: Writing this part felt like a rollercoaster😶 I hope you guys like it though!! ᥫ᭡

"Y/n?"

You stirred awake when you heard Nate's voice from the distance. You slowly opened your eyes, realizing that you were in fact still in Nate's bed and you weren't just dreaming that you had two mind-blowing orgasms just a few minutes ago.

"Sorry.. I really tried to stay awake but I couldn't." You admitted shyly as you pulled the blanket further up. Nate currently sat at the bottom of his bed as he stroked your leg over the blanket.

"It's totally normal to be exhausted after that." he smiled as he remembered how he came back and you were absolutely passed out because of him. "I didn't mean to wake you up but it's almost 7, and your mom's probably been texting you nonstop." You groaned as you remembered it was Monday, before your eyes widened.

"What do you mean it's almost seven?!" You exclaimed as you sat up in bed. You were under the impression that you’ve slept for a few minutes, not a few hours.

You haven't looked at your phone in hours, your mom's gonna kill you. "Yeah, like I said, I had to wake you up." he responded, once he saw the horror on your face.

He didn't want to, but he also knew you couldn't stay at his place. Not when your mom was still in the way. You couldn't just pack your things and live with him, she’d probably drive after you and drag you back home.

He got up and walked over to his chair where he had folded your clothes neatly earlier. He picked them up and walked back to the bed before handing them over to you.

"My mom's making food downstairs, she wants you to stay and eat before you go back home." he sighed. He knew his dad was downstairs as well and would probably ask you weird questions or try to humiliate Nate.

Not to mention that his brother was in fact at home and heard the two of you, like he hoped, based on the bitter look he gave Nate when he went down to get you a glass of water.

He didn't want Aaron to embarrass you in front of his parents though, he knew you probably wouldn't be able to look into their eyes ever again, and you probably also wouldn't want to come over ever again.

You nodded as you looked at the clothes in your hands "Can you.. turn around?" you asked, not even looking at Nate. He chuckled as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Y/n, I've seen everything there is to see." he reminded you. When you didn't respond he raised his hands in defeat "Alright, it's probably better if I do.. I don't know if I can control myself if I see you naked again.." he added with a smirk.

You chuckled in response as Nate turned and walked towards the door "I'll go ahead, yeah?" You nodded and once he left you quickly got up and stretched your arms before you got dressed. Then you fixed your dishevelled hair and went through your bag, searching for your phone to check your messages.

4 new messages

mom: Alright... 2:56 pm

mom: When are you coming home? 5:50 pm

mom: Hope you are okay 5:55 pm

mom: Tell me if you need me to pick you up 6:30 pm

mom: Do you want me to make food when you come home? 6:43 pm

you: you don't have to cook, Nate's mom already made food, everything is fine 6:49 pm

you: Nate is gonna drive me home after we ate 6:49 pm

You couldn't lie, it was sweet that she cared for you so much. But you just wished both of your parents would care about you, equally as much.

"So Y/n, tell me, how's my son treating you?" Marsha asked as she sat back down after you all finished eating. You sat across from her at the table, while Nate sat next to you across from his dad.

To Nate’s luck Aaron left the house after their dad got home.

You smiled back at her "He's amazing. I don't know what I'd do without him honestly.." you shyly responded. Nate smiled as well when he heard that.

"That's good to hear. You know, he's been really happy lately.. It's rare to see him so at peace." she responded with a content smile. "It's honestly quite unusual. He's usually anything but peaceful.." Cal added, and you weren't sure if it was just a dry joke or if he was serious.

Nate glared at him, but didn't say anything in response, so you decided to step in "Oh well.. I think Nate just gets drained easily because of practice and everything, it's not easy being such a good Quaterback." you smiled as you tried to lift the mood, knowing that even if it was a joke Nate most definitely didn't think it's funny.

Nate softly squeezed your thigh under the table. He loved how quick you were to defend him against his dad, especially since he knew how anxious you were around him.

"Oh he's been like this ever since he was a kid, nothing to do with his football career." Cal retorted drily, before he took a sip of what you assumed was whiskey.

Marsha was just about to say something when Nate already responded "Yeah, well maybe I had my reasons, dad." You weren't surprised by his sour tone or his intense glare directed towards Cal.

Sure, you didn't know everything that was going on between them, but it didn't take a lot to notice that his parents always paid attention to their image. You noticed that the moment you first went over to Nate’s place. It looked like it was straight out of a catalog, like no one lived there because it was so clean and tidy, and Nate was no different.

His room looked like one in those furniture magazines. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, just unusual for a teenage guy in his age to have such a clean minimalistic room.

And how often Nate told you that his dad criticizes Nate for everything he’s not good at right away, always expecting him to be the best.

You've been wondering how long Nate has been trying to maintain this image of perfection, or how long his Dad forced his perfectionism onto his son.

Marsha cleared her throat "By the way, Nate told me about your mom. Is she actually scared of him?" You quickly shook your head "She's not scared of him, she's just really anxious about any new person I meet. She thinks I'm not safe the moment I leave the house." You explained.

"Well, she loves you. And she probably wants to prevent anything bad from happening to you. If you want I can try to talk to her." She offered "I can't guarantee anything, but it's worth a try, we should get to know each other now that you two are dating." you nodded in response "That would be great."

She smiled softly before she added "You're also always welcome to stay, of course. In case things get too tough at home." "Thank you Mrs Jacobs..." She scoffed "Please, call me Marsha." You nodded.

"So, when would you talk to her?" Nate asked his mom impatiently. You turned to him "Nate, my parents don't even know we're together yet." you reminded him.

Nate actually wanted to keep it that way because of your mother, but he knew that she would ask questions if you tell her that his mom wants to talk to her.

"Then... tell your mom today. After I drive you home." He declared. You thought for a moment, were you even ready to tell your mom you're dating Nate? She told you so many times that you should take your time with dating, because she sometimes feels like she made the wrong choices.

Especially regarding your dad.

But you didn't want to make Nate feel like she didn't like him, you were sure that she'd be cautious about any other teenage guy. "O-okay." you agreed nervously "You don’t always have to listen to him you know?" Cal suddenly spoke.

Nate sighed as he threw his head back "Fucking hell, maybe you're the reason why I'm always on edge." You looked down at his hand on your thigh as he involuntarily squeezed it harder "I'm just saying-" Cal defended himself "Yeah, but that was so unnecessary, do you think I’m forcing her to do anything?" Nate retorted.

Marsha smiled apologetically at you before she averted her gaze down at the table. You sighed as they continued to quarrel. You hated it when people fought, because it reminded you of the way your parents would scream at it each other.

It became unbearable sometimes and whenever someone raised their voice at you, you had tears in your eyes. You also couldn't handle conflicts well, you always apologized, not letting room for any discussion.

Nate loved that about you, you wouldn't fight with him about anything no matter if he was rude sometimes, you simply just let him be.

He never even asked himself why you were like this, that the problems you had to endure at home made you this way. He just considered that you were like this, because you didn't want to lose the only person you had.

That was until you removed Nates hand from your thigh and got up from the chair. Everyone suddenly looked at you and it was finally quiet "I'll get my phone and wait outside.." you quietly said.

You gave Marsha a sad smile "Thank you, for letting me stay for dinner.. and in advance for talking to my mom." you said before you quickly left and went upstairs.

Once you grabbed your phone, you walked past the shopping bags. You decided to leave them there, since your mom would probably think you two went shopping instead of studying for maths.

After you had your shoes on, you quietly made your way to Nate’s car, waiting for him to come outside.

"Sorry about that.." Nate said once he started the motor and pulled out of the parking lot. "I just got so fucking mad when he said that.. the way he talked sounded so... I don't know." he added as he furrowed his brows in frustration.

You sighed "It's fine... I just really don't like it when people fight." you explained, as you fiddled with the hem of your dress. "Do your parents fight a lot?" he asked bluntly.

You nodded "Yeah... they're just two totally different people. I honestly don't even know why they got married in the first place." you scoffed. Nate sighed as he reassuringly placed his hand onto your thigh once again.

When he reached your place, he shut the motor off and looked at you "You want me to come inside with you?" he asked softly. You thought for a moment before nodding. Maybe it was because you felt safer with him and knew that your mom wouldn't make a scene in front of him, but you simply didn't have the strength to tell her yourself.

You both exited his truck before he locked it and grabbed your hand "I'm sure she's gonna take it well, don't worry about it." he tried to reassure you, even though he knew your mom would most definitely freak out.

You rang the doorbell, knowing she's already waiting for you. You softly removed your hand from Nate's grip, not wanting her to see you two holding hands right away. He frowned but before he could say something your mom opened the door.

"Oh, hello Nate." she said as she tried to put on a smile. "Thanks for driving her home.."' she added. "Can he come inside for a moment?" you asked nervously.

She nodded slowly as she made space for him to enter. She closed the door before she crossed her arms and eyed the two of you.

You sighed before you finally looked into her eyes and forced a smile onto your features. "Alright, mom... I need to tell you something." you tried to stay as positive as possible, as you saw the way your mom looked at you.

It was almost as if she knew whatever you're about to tell her wouldn't make her happy. "Nate and I are dating!" you exclaimed happily as you took his hand this time.

Your mother raised her eyebrows at that, as her gaze flickered to Nate "Oh.. how did that happen?" she asked, her tone void of any positive emotions.

You gulped before you replied "Um... well, he asked me out... last friday. He.. took me out on a date." you nervously explained. She squinted her eyes "Didn't you go to his party on friday?"

Shit

"Yeah it was actually Saturday, it was after you slept over, remember?" Nate intervened, you chuckled as you nodded, glad that he was so quick to save you.

“Right, sorry. It was on Saturday before he drove me home. He took me out to a fancy restaurant and everything, isn't that amazing?" you quickly added a hint of nervousness still present in your tone.

Your mom nodded, a small smile on her face "Yeah that does sound amazing.." she nodded and a seemingly way too long silence settled in "What made you fall for my daughter, Nate?" She asked bluntly as she looked at him.

He felt like he was being interrogated for committing murder, because of the way your mom glared at him. He smiled down at where your hands connected before he looked back at her "Well, what is there not to love about her? She's sweet, well mannered, intelligent, beautiful.. I could go on and on."

She nodded as if she was fine with that. "Alright... Well, who am I to stand in your way." You knew that she'll drop the façade the moment he's out the door. "But be careful Nate," she warned as she glared at him "I know where you live. If something happens to her because of you, I won't hesitate to ruin you."

You groaned "Mom, stop scaring him." you scolded "Nate would never hurt me." You said as you leaned your head against his arm. "I hope he doesn't." she added. "I can assure you Mrs y/l/n, I'd do everything to keep your daughter safe." he responded as he stared back at her.

And he was serious, he'd also protect you from her if he had to. He'd find a way, and judging by the way she eyed him as if she would kill him if you weren't present in the room, he was sure the day would come where he had to do that. Nate would never let anyone or anything stand in between you two.

Not even your mother.

Once you looked up at Nate, he forced a smile onto his face, before he cleared his throat "I'll get going then.." He added before he hugged you tightly. "I'll pick you up tomorrow, alright?" You nodded as you smiled.

"You barely know him, Y/n! How do you know he's actually serious about you? I mean.. how can you trust him so much?"

As predicted, your mom was not okay with you having a boyfriend "Jesus Christ, why can't you just be happy for me?" you retorted as you walked into your room, hoping you'd finally escape your mom.

You were forced to discuss your new relationship with Nate, the moment the door closed behind him.

"Because I know what I'm talking about! I've seen it happen right in front of me." she raised her voice as she followed you into your room.

"See what happen in front of you? He's been nothing but nice to me, I don't even know why you dislike him so much!" you walked towards your window as you opened it, feeling pretty heated by the argument your mom started.

She scoffed in response "Because I'm not gullible. I mean..." she groaned before continuing "Do you think he still would've asked you out if you wouldn't have changed your appearance so much?"

That seemed to hit a nerve because you immediately froze, once again thinking back to what Maddy told you "Okay, I don't wanna talk about this right now, like that's just ridiculous." You laughed drily, as you shook your head in denial "Why not? Because you know that I'm right?" she crossed her arms.

You turned around, facing your mom as you grew more and more furious. "No, because I'm sick of you hating on Nate when you don't even know him! God, you're so paranoid all the time, you're driving everyone around you insane!" you breathed heavily as you tried to control your anger.

"Alright, watch your tone-" "No! I'm tired of this, I'm... I always listened to you, I never broke any of your rules, even if that meant I didn't have any friends, because you were too scared to let me meet anyone outside of school! I never disobeyed you." You nearly cried out of anger.

"And I won't let you get in the way of my relationship, because I've never been happier!" you breathed heavily as you turned around again. "I mean why do you try to give me advice, when you married dad? You constantly fight with him, I mean you two just aren’t good for each other!" you rambled.

Your mom sighed softly as she tried to stay calm. "You wanna know why I married your dad?" she asked challengingly "I married your dad because he was just like Nate in the beginning. So generous and kind, it almost felt too good to be true. And once I distanced myself from almost everyone, we got married... And he only cared about his work, and being successful."

You turned around again, eyeing her as you scoffed before she continued "At first he bought me gifts and flowers and told me he loved me. But then he distanced himself more and more..." She sighed again as she contemplated whether or not to continue, but she decided to come clean with you.

"It... broke me, alright? I tried to leave him, I really did... but he told me he'd change and that he wanted to have a family with me... I... I wanted to believe him. I thought if we had a child, it would fix what's broken, that he'd be happier again, that I'd be happier again, and that he wouldn't be so focused on his work."

You furrowed your brows as you realized what your mom was hinting at "You can't be serious..." your mom avoided your gaze as she continued "He cared about you, he was so... different back then. But at some point, it felt like I had to raise you myself and I.. couldn't leave him, because I didn't want you to grow up without a father.."

"I grew up without a father. I mean, when was the last time he spoke to me for more than three minutes?" you asked in disbelief. Your mom ran her hands through her hair as she sighed "You're telling me you got pregnant because of your own selfishness and... what? It didn’t go as planned?"

When your mom didn't respond you scoffed in return "You know, I would say I'm sorry for you.. but you should feel sorry for me. Because I'm the one that suffered from your unhealthy relationship and the anxiety that you've projected onto me over the years."

You shook your head in disbelief as you walked towards your bed "Honestly, it's ironic that you want to give me advice on picking the right guy." you said sarcastically "Y/n, I'm trying to protect you, you know I always tried to protect you, and I know what kind of guy Nate is!"

Your mom tried to desperately defend herself "He's the type who only likes you if you do as he says, you know that, deep down you know that-" "Mom, enough!" you yelled.

"I'm sick of hearing you talk about him like that, okay? I'm so tired of it, because he makes me smile and I feel so good when I'm with him, and the moment I come back home my fucking smile drops everytime!" You spat.

“Even if I do what he says sometimes to keep him happy, I do it because.. he does the same for me! He keeps me happy.” You added as you tried to calm down again.

You sat down on your bed as an eerie silence settled in and you saw the defeat in your mother's eyes. "You'll see it... sooner or later you'll see what I meant. And when you do, you're in way too deep to leave him." You rolled your eyes "I'm not like you.. I wouldn't go to such lengths to keep a man."

Your words stung and your mother was clearly hurt by what you said, but she always had an answer ready "We'll see about that.." she said before leaving your room and slamming your door shut.

You did not expect that to happen, especially not today. Sure, you knew that she'd give you the 'guys like Nate aren't good for you' talk, but to find out that your parents only had you, because they tried to fix their shitty marriage, was insane.

You're also sure that Nate would probably ask you if anything happened after he left, when he picks you up tomorrow, but you obviously couldn't tell him that your mom hated him.

Except, he didn't even have to ask.

It's not like he didn't want to drive back once he left your house, but when he heard your mom talk the moment the door closed, he got curious and decided to eavesdrop just a little bit to make sure everything was alright.

And when he heard you two fight and move your talk to what he assumed was your room, he made sure that no neighbour saw him before he made his way to your window on the other side, crouching right next to a bush so you didn't see him by accident. And to his luck, you opened it and he could hear everything.

He already knew your mother didn't like him, even if you tried to tell him that it's not true and that she's just extra careful with boys.

He honestly thought that was really cute of you, but he actually couldn't care less about what your mother thought of him. When she intervened into your relationship like this however, it started to really bother him.

Nate also was really satisfied, knowing that you stood up for him and fought with your mom, despite how much you hated arguments. He didn't know that you had that side to you, because he was so used to you being soft spoken and sweet, but he figured it was the anger that you suppressed for ages, finally slipping out.

He felt even more connected to you because he related to you so much, since his parents also bring out the worst in him. Except, he never really suppressed his anger.

But it showed him that you'd do everything for him, just like he'd do everything for you.

Needless to say, you didn't really talk to your mom after the fight.

Days passed and you only left your room to go outside when Nate picked you up. It got to the point where even your dad noticed it was awfully quiet at home when he came back from his trip.

Your mom also didn't apologize she just acted as if everything was fine, while you didn't try to hide the fact that you were still pretty much pissed. But you distracted yourself, because your mind was occupied with Nate.

Nate's birthday in fact.

You wanted to surprise him for his birthday, and host a party. But since you never really went to a party before and you also couldn't host one at your place, you had to ask the only person you know could help you.

Max from his football team.

You knew that he was the next closest person to Nate that you personally knew -even if he wasn’t exactly his best friend, but you figured it’d do. Besides, Nate once told you he's had a good time at one of his parties once, and you were sure he would help you throw a party for his friend.

One day after your biology lesson, you waited for Max to walk along the hallways, and once you spotted his tall figure you took the courage to talk to him. He obviously knew you but you two never talked alone.

You approached him quickly before he could head towards the cafeteria. "Hey!" you exclaimed once you got his attention. He smiled at you "Hey, what's up?" he asked casually. You swallowed harshly, while fidgeting with your hands as you replied "Nothing, I just kinda... have to ask you for a favor.." you trailed off.

He raised his brows "Me?" you nodded "Alright what is it?" he chuckled "Soo, Nate's birthday is next week right?" he shrugged "If you say so, we don't really talk about birthdays during practice, you know?" He joked "Wait are you gonna ask me what to get him?” he asked.

You shook your head before you lowered your voice even more "I actually wanted to ask if you could help me throw him a birthday party?" he thought for a seemingly long moment, before he nodded "Sure, why not. I haven't had a party in a while. Do you know where?"

You shyly shook your head. You’d feel bad if you'd ask him if you could party at his place, since you really didn't know the guy. But you also weren't sure if Nate's parents would be fine with a party at his place.

He smiled at you "Hey it's fine, we can do it at my place, I just asked in case you wanted to celebrate somewhere special." you sighed in relief before smiling back at him "No I haven't planned anything so far, so that would be perfect. Thank you so much, really.."

He scoffed before pulling his phone out "It's no biggie really, just uh maybe give me your number and we can meet up and plan everything, alright?" You quickly nodded before shakily pulling your phone out ready to give him your number.

You were silently praying that Nate didn't see you two right now, because he would probably ask why you were talking to Max and why you were giving him your number.

Once he saved your contact he sent you a text so that you had his number as well. "Again, thank you so much, and sorry if I just took time off of your break." you nervously chuckled, once both of you put your phones away again.

He shook his head "Nah, don't worry about it." He looked behind you and spotted Nate in the distance who seemed to approach you two "Your boyfriend's coming." you looked behind you and panicked. Great.

"He can't know what we just talked about, it's supposed to be a surprise.." he nodded as he quickly thought of something. "Let’s tell him..." he tried to think of something as Nate came closer and closer "you asked me what you can buy him." he quickly mumbled.

Nate reached you two shortly after and smiled down at you before leaning down to kiss you. You froze as he pressed his lips onto yours in a harsher way than he usually would as his hands rested on your waist.

He then broke the kiss and looked at Max with a grin "What's up," he greeted him "Why are you two standing here?" he added. You cleared his throat before Max spoke up "We just talked about birthday presents y'know? Since yours isn't too far away." he nudged him playfully.

Nate chuckled drily "Oh..." You pouted as you looked up at Nate "Yeah Nate, you kinda ruined the surprise now." you complained. He sighed before stroking your cheek "I'm sorry... But hey, you really don't need to buy me anything." he reassured you.

Once an awkward silence settled in, Max cleared his throat "Well, I'll see you two around." he said before smiling at you and leaving towards another direction.

Nate knew he was probably looking way too much into it, but he didn't like how Max smiled at you. You weren't aware of how beautiful you were, you never noticed how boys and even girls looked your way, because your gaze was mostly glued onto the floor or literally anywhere but people's faces.

But he saw it, he knew he wasn't the only who knew you were perfect. Which is why he was extra careful. He couldn't allow you to have male friends, he was already worried about your mom taking you away from him, he couldn't handle anyone else being a threat.

He looked after Max as he walked down the hallway, when you looked up at him "Nate," you tugged on his hand "you're not jealous, right?" you joked, even though you couldn't be more right.

"What if I am?" he asked as he looked back at you. You chuckled as you shook your head "You know I only have eyes for you..." you reminded him as you turned around to head to the cafeteria "It didn't seem like it when you smiled at him.." Nate mumbled.

"I smile at everyone." You defended yourself. Nate sighed, knowing you were right. But that didn't mean it was okay for him. He frowned as he walked into the cafeteria with you.

He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but Max had the power to ruin everything between you two. He could tell you all the bad things Nate has said and done that he knew of, and he really didn't want to risk that.

He tried to shake the thought that there was more going on, but he decided to pay even more attention to who you hang out with in the future. Because he really didn't want you to get closer with Max.

Just recently you befriended some girls from your arts class, who luckily didn't have any connections to Maddy or Cassie, so he decided not to ruin that for you.

He felt so powerful knowing that he had control over everything you did and who you talked to.

Until you sat next to him at home the same day, watching a movie while you texted Max.

Max: Let's just buy the stuff together 4:56 pm

You: you mean like drinks and snacks? 4:57 pm

Max: yeah that too but we also need cups, decoration and stuff 4:57 pm

You: trueee omg I never went to a high school party btw, so I'm really glad we're doing this together 4:58 pm

Max: yeah that's crazy ur missing out fr 5:00 pm

Max: Until now at least because my parties are always amazing😎 5:00 pm

You chuckled at the emoji as you shook your head. "Who're you texting?" you flinched slightly as you looked at Nate who glanced down at your phone.

You locked it before smiling at Nate "Just Mia from my history class, sorry." you lied, and Nate almost would've bought it if you hadn't locked your phone this quickly. You placed your phone next to you as you looked back at the TV.

Who the fuck where you texting?

"Oh.. and what are you talking about?" he asked as nonchalantly as possible as he looked at the TV again. "Just about... this unnecessary assignment we got today." you explained casually. Nate nodded, still not really believing you.

You never lied to him, or at least he was pretty sure you didn't, so it must be something big if you're lying to him right now.

He also noticed how casual you acted as you talked to him just now. You usually didn't act so casual, so he immediately figured it was just your way of covering up that you were lying, and trying to come across as honest as possible.

But that didn't work on him, he immediately picked up on your tactic.

Once you excused yourself to get a glass of water, Nate paused the movie, and waited a few seconds after you closed the door behind you. Then he quickly grabbed your phone, taking in the sight of your lockscreen.

It was a picture you took of Nate after one of his football games. He smiled, as he felt himself somehow relax a little bit.

Until one notification popped up

Max: Btw let's drive to the mall after school tmr... now

and then another text

Max: But we gotta be careful or else he'll see us and... now

and then another...

Max: Can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out... now

What the fuck?

Why was Max texting you? And why did he want to go to the mall with you tomorrow? Was he planning some sort of date? He placed your phone back on the same spot he picked it up from.

He clenched his jaw as he repeated the messages in his head over and over again 'can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out' he had to be talking about him, who else could he possibly mean?

The look on his face when he finds out what? That you were.. meeting up with Max behind his back? You wouldn't cheat on him.. there's just no way, no no... You weren't like this.

Sure it was only the preview of the message, and he sadly couldn’t see the full messages, but what else could he possibly mean?

For how long were you talking to Max? How didn't he notice it sooner, he was around you all the time. He even waited in front of your room sometimes to walk to the cafeteria with you.

Nate knew he didn't have enough evidence to confront you. What if he misunderstood the text messages? You'd feel betrayed because he was invading your privacy.

Your trust would probably be broken.

He sat there in silence as his mind ran a thousand miles, thinking of everything he could've meant but no matter what he thought of, every thought lead to you cheating on him.

Once he saw you enter his room again, his thoughts were interrupted. You smiled at him as you made your way back into his bed, seeing the glass down on the table. When you sat down next to him he roughly pulled you into his lap, causing a surprised squeal to leave your lips.

You straddled him as you looked at him with a flustered expression, before he pulled you in for a desperate kiss. You gasped completely confused by the sudden display of affection before you slowly kissed him back.

He pulled you closer as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, forcing a sigh out of you. Once he broke the kiss he looked at you, his serious expression not matching the way he just kissed you. "Do you love me?"

You blinked at him as you furrowed your brows "Of course I love you." you said as your hand made its way to his cheek, and he sighed in return as he closed his eyes.

"Nate-" before you could ask him what's wrong, he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling the scent of the perfume he bought you, and it eased his mind just a little bit as he stayed there.

"Hey... what's wrong?" you asked softly as you stroked his hair. He hated how vulnerable he felt because of you, he should be angry, planning Max's murder and punish you for betraying him like that.

But all he could think right now, was that he might lose you and he was so sure that everything was going just fine between you two, so why did you seek another guy's attention? Did he not satisfy you enough?

He attacked your lips once more, this time more passionate as he made out with you. You genuinely didn't know what came over him all of a sudden, but you felt like he was avoiding something.

Nate's hand slipped under your skirt and grabbed the flesh of your ass while his other hand moved to your waist, before he swiftly laid you onto your back, causing you to gasp.

Then he hovered over you, kneeling between your legs "Can I try something?" He kissed your neck as his hand once again wandered under to your skirt, causing you to gasp.

He bunched your skirt up as you froze "Sh-shouldn't we talk about this?" you nervously asked, as you felt his hand hook under the waistband of your pink panties.

Nate pulls back slightly to look at you with a playful smile "There's nothing to talk about, Sweetheart." he assured you before he stroked your thigh "Do you trust me?" You nodded slowly, a hint of worry still visible on your face.

"What are you going to try?" you asked nervously as you felt vulnerable in the current situation. He chuckled before he licked his lips. "I'm gonna make you feel good." he stated before finally pulling your panties down your legs and removing them in a quick motion.

You instinctively closed your legs as you swallowed, but Nate wasn't having it. He was quick to pull your legs apart with his strong grip, admiring the view of your bare pussy. He could feel his pants tighten, but this wasn't about him, no, at least for him it wasn't.

This was about finally being able to taste you, and showing you that he was all you needed. That you didn't need a second option, because he would give you everything you needed.

Nate bent down, closing his eyes as he inhaled your sweet scent. "Fuck..." he breathed out before darting his tongue out and licking a stripe up your slit, as he watched your reaction. You nearly jumped off the bed as you whined, slightly overwhelmed by the foreign feeling.

He smirked at your reaction "You look so pretty like that.." he trailed off as he listened to the various sounds you made. "Do you like that?" His tongue started flicking against your clit, as he pushed your legs further up, ripping a low moan from your throat.

"Y-yes... but you don't have to do this." you reassured him as your breathing got heavier. He chuckled, the vibrations adding onto your pleasure. "Don't worry about me.. Could spend hours between your thighs." he mumbled against your clit, causing you to moan again.

Your hands made its way to his hair, your nails dragging along his scalp, which caused him to groan against your clit. You already began to feel like you're losing your sanity with the way Nate made you feel in just such a short amount of time "You're so good at this.." you mumbled.

Nate smirked in response before sucking on your clit. Your thighs were trembling at this point and you weren't sure how long you would last "Nate, oh... I'm so close." you whined as your hips involuntarily bucked into his face.

With one final harsh suck on your bud, he sends you over the edge, causing you to moan his name as you tremble from the intensity. Once Nate tasted your release on his tongue, he made it his mission to not waste a single drop as his tongue cleaned you up.

You trembled and mewled because of the slight overstimulation, before he finally removed his mouth from you. "Sorry, you just tasted so good I couldn't stop myself." he rasped before hovering over you again and pressing his wet lips onto yours, allowing you to taste yourself on him.

After he broke the kiss, he cupped your cheek, as you relaxed into his touch and closed your eyes "Are you okay? You came pretty hard." he boasted as he smirked down at you. You didn't even have to look at him to know that he we smirking, since his tone gave it away.

You nodded shyly, as you responded "Yeah.. it was intense, thank you Nate." he smiled, loving how grateful you were, never taking anything he gave you for granted.

He could've sworn he fell deeper for you, every time he discovered something new about your body. The way you sounded, the way you tasted or the way your body reacted to him. It just fueled his need to own every inch of you.

"No need to thank me.. You deserved it, you're always so good to me.." he praises you, before retrieving a paper towel from the box on his nightstand, and cleaning you up.

You slowly open your eyes "Do you want me to... return the favour?" you ask shyly. Nate thought for a moment, since the throbbing in his pants definitely hasn’t disappeared, but he decided to shake his head. This was about you, and making you feel worshipped, showing you that you only need him.

"You can try that another time.." he grinned, before picking your panties up and sliding them back on for you.

"Maybe tomorrow..?" he offered as he looked deeply into your eyes, knowing that you certainly don't have time tomorrow. You chuckled nervously "That would be great, but.. I don't think I have time tomorrow.."

Why, because you were sucking him off already?

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked as he stroked your sides and he could see the panic in your eyes, just for a split second "Uh.. Mia wanted to meet up for... the history assignment." you shrugged.

There it was again, this casual, nonchalant attitude you had earlier when you said you were texting Mia.

his hand twitched slightly as he tried to stay calm, but it was really hard, when all he could think of was that you were lying to him just like that. "Oh... okay." he forced a smile.

You felt awful for lying to him, but you knew it would pay off in the end. You already imagined how happy he would be once he'd enter Max's place next week.

Nate felt the urge to yell at you, and ask you what the fuck had gotten into you, for you to betray him like this. But he decided it’s best to stay as calm and rational as possible, and see what would happen tomorrow before he would drive to Max's place and bash his head in with a baseball bat.

It was just so hard for him to think rational when it came to you.

The next day was pretty exhausting, you already were extremely anxious once you got into Max's car, and drove to the mall with him.

It wasn't as awkward as you expected it to be though, Max was really chill and funny most of the time. You weren't used to going out with anyone other than Nate, but you could envision yourself hanging out with both of them sometimes.

You wondered why Nate and Max weren’t closer, since Nate would probably have a lot of fun with him.

You were however pretty overwhelmed when you two bought alcohol. You were glad that Max took it upon himself to pick out the, as he calls it, 'good stuff '. Max had a fake ID and you were really anxious when the store clerk asked for it, once Max wanted to pay for it.

He was completely relaxed however, chuckled and pulled it out like it's the most normal and legal thing ever, while you tried to stuff all the bottles back into the shopping basket, without breaking any of the glass bottles.

And after spending 3 hours at the mall with him, you were finally back in front of your house. You spent a fortune just on drinks and snacks alone and Max decided to pay for the decoration and some of the alcohol as his 'present' for Nate, despite you telling him, that it was already nice enough to offer his place for the party.

You were also glad he offered to drive you home, since it started to rain heavily once you two sat in his car.

You still felt bad about Nate, he was so sweet yesterday and he even told you to text him and send him your live location once you're on your way home, so he knows that you're safe, which you did of course.

Except, that wasn't the only reason.

As soon as he received your text, he drove over to your place, making sure to drive fast in order to be there before you arrive. He knew Max would drive you home, since it was raining and staring to get dark.

Once he arrived, he searched for a secluded street nearby where you two wouldn’t see him. Then he parked his truck before he got his umbrella and left the car before locking it. Then he opened the umbrella as he walked closer to your house.

Once he found the perfect spot he simply waited, waited for you to get out of his car.

It was still raining when Max parked his car in front of your house. "Thank you for everything, again. I couldn't have done this without you." He brushed you off again "Don't mention it. Just.. please don't let Nate beat my ass if he finds out we went out alone." he joked, even though he knew he was dead serious.

You chuckled before your expression changed to a more serious one "Can I ask you something?" he nodded "But you gotta be honest with me." he nodded again as he turned towards you "What's the deal with Nate and Cassie? I just feel like.. he’s not telling me everything regarding her.." he sighed already regretting that he agreed.

"Well... Cassie was Maddy's best friend." you nodded before your eyes widened "Wait.. who dated him first?" "Maddy.. and it got really ugly when she found out her best friend was fucking her ex behind her back... That’s pretty much all I know."

You didn't expect that, to be the story. But you finally understood why Nate didn’t really elaborate what happened between him and Cassie. Dating your ex’s best friend wasn’t really something to be proud of.

"I mean, Maddy did cheat on him but.. having your best friend date your ex is really.." Max nodded as he nervously scratched his neck "Well, Nate..." he stopped himself, not sure if warning you would put him in danger.

He was already conflicted about this whole birthday party thing, because he wasn't sure whether or not to help you when you approached him the day before.

Nate was unpredictable, especially when it came to his girlfriends, so he wasn't really sure what to do in this situation.

Would Nate be mad at him if he wouldn't have helped you? Would he be pissed because he refused to help his girlfriend, or would he be glad that he stayed away from you?

And on the other hand, would Nate be happy that you two planned a surprise for his birthday? Even if it meant you two met up alone behind his back, and you lied to him?

He knew that you weren't aware of it, but you put him in a really tricky situation by asking him for such a favor.

"Yes..?" you looked at him and he chuckled nervously "Uh.. Nate just made a few wrong choices, I guess.. I mean I think.. he was just so focused on Cassie, and so sure that she’s the one, that he kind of... forgot about Maddy." he shrugged as he rambled, in an attempt to stop you from asking him question he couldn't answer you.

"He’s not really an emotional guy, he.. thinks strategically you know? He's more of a rational, logic thinker than an emotional one, so he didn't consider that Maddy might be upset about that." You nodded in response.

"Hmm.. that makes sense..” you mumbled, not really sure if that actually made sense. If he was in love with Maddy, he would definitely care about her and know that it’s morally not right to cheat on her with her best friend. But Nate doesn’t seem like someone who’d cheat, they probably weren’t together anymore when he dated Cassie.

But you decided to not bother Max any further, since he already seemed really uncomfortable with answering the first question.

“Thank you for telling me." you smiled at him, and he immediately felt even worse for sugarcoating what Nate did, and acting like he wasn’t the bad guy. But he also knew that he had to, in order to protect himself.

If you'd know the truth or start acting weird around him, or even worse, you'd break up with him because you finally know what he’s really like, it'd be over for him.

He’d find out that Max talked to you eventually, and he wouldn’t hesitate to make him suffer instantly.

Because Nate wasn't stupid, he'd immediately know it was him who told you everything. And he was capable of making Max disappear for good, too, without anyone asking questions.

“I’ll get inside then, my mom’s been weird the past few days.” you sigh “Actually, scratch that, she’s been weird the past few years.” Max chuckled “Damn, is it this bad?” you nodded your head in response.

“Oh you have no idea.. just a few days ago, she basically said that Nate is a manipulative asshole and that he will destroy me one day.” you snort as you think back how ridiculous she sounded.

Max‘s eyes widened before he also chuckled, even though he wanted to tell you that your mom probably isn’t as crazy as you say she is. “Damn…” he trailed off “I know right.. I mean, sure he might have this ‘jock image’ and everyone respects him and stuff, but he’s so different when we’re alone..”

You couldn’t help but smile as you thought about all the kind things he’s done for you. You felt so empty without him, and now you were sure that you couldn’t ever go back to living the way you used to live before you met him.

No one could replace him, you were sure.

Nate sighed as he waited for you to finally leave his car, checking the time seemingly every minute. What were you doing in there for so long anyways? Since he stood far away behind the car, and it was still raining, he couldn’t even see what you two were doing in there.

His thoughts were racing once again, as he got closer to the car, but still kept his distance. He was thinking of everything you two could be doing right now, right in front of him. What if he was touching you right now? And what if you didn’t want that, or-

And then he inhaled sharply, when the passenger door finally opened, and you stepped outside. He saw how you closed the door and waved at him as you smiled.

That beautiful smile, that was reserved for Nate, and no one else.

Nate was fuming on the inside, as he tried to think straight. But he simply couldn’t.

All he wanted to do is follow him home and beat the absolute shit out of him, maybe that was the only right thing to do. He’d let his anger out, and Max would learn his lesson.

But he couldn’t do that just yet, he had to talk to you first. Ask you if Max approached you first, and if he touched you, because those things we’re important to know before he rushed into anything.

He watched you until you made your way inside your house, before he walked back to his car. Once he was inside he slammed his hands onto the steering wheel, breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself down.

ding

Nate looked at his phone as he saw a notification pop up. He saw your name and immediately opened the message

Princess: I’m home now, love you 💋 6:52 pm

✎ Literally just worked 6 hours straight on this and got nearly nothing done, because I cannot focus for the life of me hhh♡

- Cassandra

Taglist:

@lilyrachelcassidy, @endless----love, @sophsss867, @jennnsthings, @digitalpup444, @vividfleur, @tsofo26, @lunalvrsblog, @sunshinedaisy21, @kissforvoid

[tearsstained]

All for us - Theodore Nott Headcanons

Headcanons of Theodore Nott's relationship with the reader and his general life based on the song 'All for us' by Labrinth

POC friendly, plus side friendly, unspecified house, unspecified blood status, gender neutral.

Content warnings: not proof read, angst, drugs (weed & nicotine), addiction, prostitution/slavery (mentioned), sex (mentioned), fights (mentioned), intoxication (mentioned), death/murder, insecurities/self-demoralizing thoughts, Lorenzo Berkshire (mentioned), Mattheo Riddle (mentioned), Regulus Black (mentioned), song lyrics used, songfic.

Navigation | Masterlist | T.N Masterlist |

"Too much in my system"

Theo! Who was once offered a smoke by a group of muggle boys at 14 years old when he snuck out of the house.

Theo! Who then got addicted to weed and nicotine because it regulated him emotionally and stopped his thought process for a while

Theo! Who became friends with Mattheo Riddle and Lorenzo Berkshire when they had a smoke sesh together in their dorm for the first time.

Theo! Who became closer with Matt and Enzo which led to him hanging out with the Slytherin gang.

Theo! Who was too high when he first met you through Lorenzo, he could barely remember you but he knew you were one of the prettiest people he had ever seen.

Theo! Who could only ask Lorenzo about you so many times before he got annoyed by the constant nagging about 'the pretty person'.

Theo! Who got irritated when he couldn't find you again so he tried to forget you instead.

Theo! Who could not get the image of your face out of his head, no matter how much he smokes.

Theo! Who went through several packs a week just trying to forget your face.

"Money MIA, pockets hella empty."

"Mama making ends meet,"

"Working like a slave."

Theo! Who had a hard upbringing as his mum died early in his life.

Theo! Who found out his mum did anything and everything to support him, even prostituting and slaving herself to his dad.

Theo! Who discovered his mum only married his dad because he paid her too.

Theo! Who discovered his mum only accepted because she was financially struggling and thought it would be an escape just for it to lead to her murder.

"Daddy ain't at home, no."

"Gotta be a man."

"Do it for my homegrowns."

"Do it for the fam."

Theo! Who never had a caring dad, even when his mother died.

Theo! Who was mostly home alone since his dad was always out trying to find another woman who could 'fulfill his needs'

Theo! Who got yelled at and punished by his dad for mentioning his mother once in the manor.

Theo! Who was told to 'be a man' and get over his mother's death.

Theo! Who matured too quickly because of his dad's harsh words and torturous punishments.

Theo! Who never had any siblings so he had to tough it out on his own at home.

Theo! Who never considered his dad to be his family and believed his mother the only person deserving of being his family.

"Just for your love, yeah."

"I'll give you the world."

"Mona Lisa's smile."

Theo! Who noticed you hanging out with the Slytherin group more often but mostly stayed with Lorenzo.

Theo! Who was euphoric when he finally became friends with you.

Theo! Who fell in love with you all over again but didn't try forgetting you this time.

Theo! Who fell into an awkward friends with benefits, situationship, sort of relationship with you instead of just asking you out.

Theo! Who continuously gave you mind-blowing sex because he didn't know how else to get out of the 'friends' stage with you.

Theo! Who wanted to give you so much more than orgasms but didn't want to scare you by moving too quickly.

Theo! Who didn't know how to move out into a proper relationship with you.

Theo! Who genuinely believed you were the most gorgeous person to walk the planet.

Theo! Who believes you're special and no one could ever beat you in a sense of beauty and personality.

Theo! Who thought of you in a way others think of Mona Lisa's smile, perfectly drawn to create something so irreplaceable.

"Hell, I'll do 25 to life."

"If it makes me a king."

"A star in your eyes."

Theo! Who would lock himself up in azkaban for life if you asked him to.

Theo! Who would sacrifice everything for you, even his friends and weed.

Theo! Who does everything to seem like a perfect guy in front of you and even begs Lorenzo to leave in a good word about him.

Theo! Who was so possessive over you to the point where he bashed a guy for trying to take you away from him while you were drunk.

Theo! Who asked you out after fucking you into oblivion because he was jealous of a boy you were talking to at a party.

Theo! Who was internally freaking out when you finally started dating but played it off by giving you another orgasm.

"Guilty or innocent."

"My love is infinite, I'm giving it."

"No need for prisoners."

"Bitch, please, hands up, this is a stick up."

Theo! Who was forced to become a death eater because his father wanted to please Lord Voldemort.

Theo! Who didn't want to endanger any, but more specifically you so he distanced himself from you at school.

Theo! Who despite distancing from you, still thought about you every second.

Theo! Who believed Lord Voldemort's desire for harm was unnecessary and didn't want to hurt or imprison anyone.

Theo! Who still complied with the Lord's demands despite not wanting to just so he knows you're safe.

"Guess you figured my two times two always equates to one."

"Dreamers are selfish."

"When it all comes down to it."

Theo! Who was too scared to open up to you about his problems and trauma so instead you find out through other sources.

Theo! Who eventually realized he never quit his smoking addiction, instead he just replaced it with the addiction of idolising you.

Theo! Who thought you were too good for him and that he was being selfish by dating you and trapping you with him and his issues.

Theo! Who no matter how much reassurance he received from you and his friends, he still believed he was burdening you and victimising himself.

Theo! Who was just scared of getting you hurt or into any drama with the sacred 28.

"I hope one of you come back to remind me of who I was."

"When I go disappear."

"Into that goodnight."

Theo! Who was demanded to go on a mission by Lord Voldemort.

Theo! Who only obeyed because they threatened your safety.

Theo! Who put some much effort and preparation into the mission just to hope you'll be okay.

Theo! Who prayed every moment that you'd be safe.

Theo! Who no matter how hard he tried on that mission, never made it home.

"I'm taking it all for us, all."

"Doing it all for love."

"Yeah-eah, yeah-eah."

Theo! Who became another form of Regulus Black, an unavenged and unsuccessful soldier that did it all love.

Theo! Who was never known beside those that attended school with him and just seemed to vanish.

Theo! Who nobody knew what happened to him besides his father and Voldemort who could care less.

Theo! Who was a forgotten memory for others, but not you or his friends.

Theo! Who was forever a mystery for you.

Theo! Who at least is with the only other person he's ever loved, his mother.

Theo! Who died for you.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your first impression about your person and viceversa"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read what was/may be the first impression you'll have about your person when you met/will meet them and viceversa. for a couple of piles MAY not be necessary but I suggest you to take the pac 2 times, one asking about your person's first impression of you and the other asking about your first impression of them (or vice versa): you may get two different piles and it's totally fine. This person may be your current/next romantic partner, your destined romantic person/soulmate, fs/fp, exes and 'friend-crush'(= crushes you have/had interactions with).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

--your first impression of them--

This person seems having either a double aspect to them, a double nature or may immediately look pretty balanced. They may also seem a mystery to solve, kinda like... they hide something or are very private. At the same time, they may be speaking or do something which will make you think they have it all together (but probably don't say it all) and are wise and also resourceful. It feels like a meeting in a job setting, where they aren't being their full self. Like you know, maybe they have to be a bit collected and all for clients or boss looking or anything. They may be under the spotlight for some reason, may be again a presentation or something where there are many people around (it could be even eg. a wedding where they talk about either of the newly weds) and they wanna do good, but you'll think they seem very fascinating and mysterious. For some of you, they may look jealous or sulky, or maybe you will feel like this (either for their abilities or because they're not alone).

song: jealous | labrinth

--their first impression of you--

They'll think you look a bit introverted/shy at first but maybe you'll interact with someone and they'll realize it's just an impression. Or, you'll probably be in a moment of your life where you're letting people in again after a while so it'll feel a bit weird but cute to look at you standing in a corner and trying to interact with others. They'll find it endearing. I think the setting will be the same as above (job or a palce with many people involved as a wedding or anything else): I'm getting again jealousy involved, so either of you may be talking with someone else and it will hurt the other's feelings somehow (like you're each other first-sight crush?). They'll find you special anyway, beautiful, despite (or even cause of) this shy side of yours. They'll see how strong, grounded (maybe you'll be giving very good informations and be very detailed when it comes to work or your presentation or something), and funny you can be, and will adore your bright smile. I think they'll try to talk with you first. And they may even like a lot how you look. Like, a lot. I am hearing "peeling" so they may even imagine removing your clothes or want to get to know you better.

song: watch me burn | michele morrone

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pile 2

--your first impression of them--

You'll like their vibe. They look comfortable, easy, calm... I'd say like an ocean, but we all know oceans aren't that calm. Maybe you'll like that storm that you can imagine going on behind their eyes. I think you'll notice how passionate they are about something and this will make you more curious about them, somehow even proud? Or you'll find them inspiring for what/how they do something or think. You may start as friends first. They are a very abundant person, rich not just necessarily on the outside but in particular inside. They have a very various/wide world in their guts. They're also very nurturing... I'd say healing to you. That type of comfort. It can come as a storm but it's still good. They will probably help you chill somehow, even with just a look. Or a few words said all of a sudden. Maybe they are/will be that type of friends coming to see you at 3 am if you need or pick you up somewhere. You'll instinctively trust them.

song: I'm gonna be (500 miles) | the proclaimers

--their first impression of you--

They like you. Like a lot. Like with a passion. They are attracted by you. They may be even trying to manifest you or attracting you in their life. It's like you starstrucked them in a way, and they cannot get over you. Maybe they also felt like a little closed off from others (and from you too at first, pretty delusional soul when it comes to love), not trusting many people, but the moment you came in and found your way inside of them, they changed their mind. I think that despite finding you hot, they also really like you for something else. Either they feel a connection with you or appreciate your vibe/happy side, or... you're just surprising them cause again they may have tried to manifest you or talk with you. But indeed, the first thought is something about you being very physically (or your vibe) attractive and they needing to contact/talk with you asap in any way. They'll find you very fascinating then, cause you incarnate exactly what they were looking for in a person but could never find anywhere (that's probably the reason behind being closed off or a bit off in general at first).

song: 34+35 | ariana grande

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pile 3

--your first impression of them--

They seem someone open and very connected with their inner child, very kind. Not naive ofc, just very comfortable with being spontaneous. They seem gentle and cute too. May be a friend first (this is the first impression of them as a lover, so kinda a realization) or someone that you met in the past or even in a past life, or they remind you of something that happened in your childhood, make you nostalgic (maybe you were like them but somehow you changed: probably you had to heal something and grew a bit more serious). They are very welcoming and loving, very hearty-nature. They are a lover by all means. They are also determined and chill in a way that make sthem hopeful and positive about anything they're trying; any new endeavour or experience they can do, they'll happily try it out. Very cheerful and positive person, may also be pretty happy about where they are in their career or mentally (may have healed/be healing something but be in a balanced situation). You really like having them around, they make your life better/cheer you up by simply being themselves or around you.

song: if i ain't got you | alicia keys

--their first impression of you--

You're a little shy/closed off and it may take a while to get inside of you. I think the setting can be the same as above: you two may have met in your childhood or in a past life. There's a connection between you two. They will think you're very strong-minded and (for some) even a bit stubborn. Still, they'll like that of you. They think it's cute when you pout. They'll think you're very much the person of their dreams, you make them feel good, you relax them somehow. Maybe they often felt on guard for some reason, but you feel comfortable for them. You help them chill. They'll think you changed a lot or it will be clear that you have been through some important stuff (maybe from the way you act). Probably cause you don't let people in that easily, you kinda have a wall to protect your most inner side, but they're not scared to work on it cause they really find you endearing and fascinating. they're not very preoccupied by your walls anyway they're "more stubborn", lol.

song: the arc | godevil godevil

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pile 4

--your first impression of them--

Two options: they seem bright, and they bring you some kind of inner peace. Or... you don't like them that much. They seem a bit too much to bear with, a bit too "uptight" or something like that. Probably there's something blinding you, like an idea you had or a belief and this person is challenging it a lot. A LOT. Not sure if it's just with their appearance or how they act (eg. maybe you like more silent people and they're all chatty and kinda annoying) or in the way they talk or about what they talk or anything... still, it's kinda upsetting in a way. This challenging feeling though will change with time (we're ofc talking about your person). They'll find a way to get to you. You probably need to find a balance and let go of your old beliefs a little more. Find a new compromise. I think you'll end up liking them much more than you ever thought. This challenge will make you upset/get on your nerves, but in a hot way too at a certain point in your connection.

song: i wanna be yours | sofia krlberg

--their first impression of you--

They'll find you very interesting, appealing, they'll find you like a dream come true for certain aspects. They will love how determined you are and how you don't let people disrespect you. They will like that meeting you will feel like fated, for any reason. You're again whoever they dreamed to be with in and you're there in front of them. Just like out of nowhere. It feels a very sudden meeting or realization tbh, like they were going out for some reason and bam, there you are. You're beautiful, welcoming (I think if you're a female you may have a very nice curvy body or if you're a male you can be pretty toned -I'm getting big chest vibes-, but any other gender applies: this person just has a fascination about your body too and how comfy it looks to them specifically or it could be how kind, welcoming, gentle you look to them -so it can change according on this person's likes). Dunno what else to add tbh, they're just there with their mouth open. Starstruck. (For some, you may know them already or they may have seen you already)

song: a little bit yours | jp saxe

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Never felt so...

John Egan X Reader

Summary: John's letter to his girlfriend...

Warning: Sad/ talk about death/ kissing./ crying/

Word count: 800 words.

Dear Y/n,

My darling I miss you so much, I’ve been in this camp for so long now, I’ve lost track of time. Recently, I’ve been thinking about my life a lot. That German officer said something that got stuck in my mind. He said that you’re going to remember the last time you’ve never felt so, and he got cut off by a gun shot. I’ve been thinking about the time I never felt so loved in my life. A moment comes to my mind, it was the night before I got shipped away. We danced together all night and the way you looked at me is still stuck in my mind. I think about it constantly. That’s the night I knew that all the love songs were about you. It’s true what they say: Distance makes you love harder. Because I love you so much. You will forever be my always. When I think about that night, I know that I’ve never felt so loved.

Yours, Bucky.

-

His cheeks were hurting from smiling this much. Dancing with her was the best thing in the hole world. She was beautiful, like art. Her laugh filled his ears, it was the best sound he ever heard. ‘’I’ll miss you so much’’ she whispered in his ear. He trapped her in a hug as they looked around the room, they were the last one, the band were the only people left in the room. ‘’Why are you whispering, darling?’’ he asked her. ‘’Because I’m afraid that if I speak too loudly, you’ll forget what I said. You tend to listen more when I whisper’’ she smiles. John smiled even more. ‘’John, like breathing, loving you is the most natural feeling I’ve ever known. You’re my person’’ she said against his lips. When their lips touched, it felt like home. Their soul found their home. John Egan never loved anyone more than he loved her, and he’d never felt so loved before.

Dear Y/n,

I just had another moment thinking about the quote from the German prick. It was when I learned that Buck ‘died’ in that moment, in that red cabin in London, I’ve never felt so low. You know what he means to me, but to learn that he went down was a punch to the stomach. We thought we were invincible, so to know that he went down was like watching the superhero lose a fight. So that’s the moment where, I’ve never felt so low. I love you my dear.

Yours, Bucky.

-

All alone in that telephone box, breathing the pain away. His brain couldn’t understand what just happened. How could Gale Cleven go down? It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. It was a trick to get him back on the base. Buck was alive, he was going to be waiting for him at the base. His brain couldn’t function properly, John didn’t want to believe the fact that his best friend was dead. He was in pure denial, he can’t die. Bucky felt like he was being punched in the stomach, he was out of breath. All of his happy thoughts with his friend went through his mind. He couldn’t be dead, but is he was the Germans were going to regret it. He never felt so low before.

Dear Y/n,

I’m sorry that this paper is filled with tears. I’m so alone. I never felt so alone. I don’t even know if this letter will come to you. I’m currently in a German prison, I got captured and I’m alone in my cell. I’m alone. I’m going crazy, I’ve been gone for far too long, I forgot the sound of your voice. I’m crying because I’m tired, because I miss you, because my best friend is dead and I’m crying because I’m alone. I don’t know who I’m going to be when I come home, but I’m not going to be the man you knew. All alone, in this cell, I don’t know how long I can hold on, I’ll fight for you; to get back to you. But it’s so hard… I’ve never felt so alone…

-

He’d been crying for a while. The letter was in his coat pocket, he wanted to send it to her, but he didn’t know when. Looking around, he noticed the drawings on the walls. All the men that were there before him had draw on the wall, so he decided to do the same, he took out his pocketknife and started to draw on the wall. He drew two people hugging each other, he drew inside one of the people. For him, it was Y/n and him. When he finished, he looked at his art, crying again. He’d never felt so…

[bones4thecats]

Wedding Songs; Disney's TWST

This features the songs that I think the main characters of Twisted Wonderland would have for their wedding. And by main characters I mean by the dorms. The Professors and other characters will be on another list coming out later on! Thank you and I hope you enjoy this!

❤️ Riddle Rosehearts, Housewarden of Heartslabyul »»—–► Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars 🧁 Trey Clover, Vice-Housewarden of Heartslabyul »»—–► Lover by Taylor Swift 💎 Cater Diamond, Third-Year of Heartslabyul »»—–► Stand by You by Rachel Platten ♠️ Deuce Spade, First-Year of Heartslabyul »»—–► Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran 🪅 Ace Trappola, First-Year of Heartslabyul »»—–► You Da One by Rihanna

🦁 Leona Kingscholar, Housewarden of Savanaclaw »»—–► Genius by LSD (Ft. Sia, Diplo, and Labrinth) 🍩 Ruggie Bucchi, ‘Vice-Housewarden’ of Savanaclaw »»—–► Love You Like That by Dagny 🐺 Jack Howl, First-Year of Savanaclaw »»—–►This Is What Forever Feels Like by JVKE and Nick Jonas

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto, Housewarden of Octavinelle »»—–► I Like Me Better by Lauv 🍄 Jade Leech, Vice-Housewarden of Octavinelle »»—–► Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding 🎭 Floyd Leech, Second-Year of Octavinelle »»—–► In The Name Of Love by Martin Garrix and Bebe Rexha

☀️ Kalim Al-Asim, Housewarden of Scarabia »»—–► Levitating by Dua Lipa 🐍 Jamil Viper, Vice-Housewarden of Scarabia »»—–► Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk

👑 Vil Schoenheit, Housewarden of Pomefiore »»—–► YOU & I by Anne Marie (Ft. Khalid) 🏹 Rook Hunt, Vice-Housewarden of Pomefiore »»—–► Eyes Off You by PRETTYMUCH 🍎 Epel Felmier, First-Year of Pomefiore »»—–► Thank God by Kane and Katelyn Brown

🎮 Idia Shroud, Housewarden of Ignihyde »»—–►It's You by Ali Gatie 🤖 Ortho Shroud, Deadly-Sweet Boy of Night Raven College »»—–► **None due to being portrayed as a child**

🐉 Malleus Draconia, Housewarden of Diasomnia »»—–► If Only by Dove Cameron 🦇 Lilia Vanrouge, Vice-Housewarden of Diasomnia »»—–► a thousand years by Christina Perri ⚔️ Silver Vanrouge, Second-Year of Diasomnia »»—–► Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding ⚡ Sebek Zigvolt, First-Year of Diasomnia »»—–► Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez

❤️‍🩹 Yuu Sei, Magicless Prefect of Ramshackle »»—–► One Call Away by Charlie Puth 😼 Grim, Reckless-Tuna-Loving Kitten-Cat »»—–► **None due to being... y'know... a technical animal...**

Now For Some Fun...

🫵 The Reader (aka Y'all), of like every fic I’ve written »»—–► True Colors by Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberlake 🫧 Bones4thecats (aka me), the writer of y'alls pleasure!! »»—–► Black and White by Niall Horan

I hope you guys like the songs that I chose! I'm probably going to make a new playlist featuring some of these here soon on my Spotify. And yes, I'm aware that some of these are the theme songs of a couple characters I already did. But y'know what? I don't care. They work, so boom. Anyways, enjoy <3

The Theme Songs (Twisted Wonderland) <3

The Main Characters -> Dorms

The Extra Characters -> Staff, RSA, etc.

[kokushibosbestie]

◍ Muichiro Tokito Playlist ◍

Reminder: ASKS ARE OPEN. ASK FOR PLAYLISTS PLS! <3

LUNCH - Billie Eilish bad guy - Billie Eilish goodbye - Billie Eilish Wilt - VRSTY Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys Ain't It Fun - Paramore Lost Boy - Ruth B. Genius - Sia, Diplo, Labrinth, LSD The Middle - Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey Sunflower - Post Malone, Swae Lee lovely - Billie Eilish, Khalid Wait a Minute! - WILLOW death bed - Powfu, beabadoobee NIGHT DANCER - imase Perfect - Ed Sheeran Somebody Told Me - The Killers I Like Me Better - Lauv Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars Bloody Mary - Lady Gaga Baby - Justin Beiber, Ludacris Rude - MAGIC! Grenade - Bruno Mars #BrooklynBloodPop - SyKo Haloweenie IV; Innards - Ashnikko La La La - Naughty Boy, Sam Smith Done for Me - Charlie Puth, Kehlani I Say A Little Prayer For You - Tori Kelly, Pharell Williams Ver. Hands up! - 6arelyhuman, kets4eki, Pixel Hood Tadow - Massego, FKJ Electrical - Bali Baby Sweet Dreams - Ferdinand fka Left Boy Faster n Harder - 6arelyhuman Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato Walls Could Talk - Halsey GOOD LOYAL THOTS - Odetari GMFU - Odetari, 6arelyhuman ur not hot - callmespice XOXO (Kisses Hugs) - 6arelyhuman, horrormovies, Pixel Hood Copycat - Billie Eilish Mary On A Cross - Ghost killer queen - Mad Tsai lover boy - Mad Tsai House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco Heathens - Twenty One Pilots older - Isabel LaRosa Can't Remember to Forget You - Shakira, Rihanna Two Birds - Regina Specktor Counting Stars - OneRepublic Solo - Clean Bandit, Demi Lovato stacy's brother - Mad Tsai Pacify Her - Melanie Martinez Cake - Melanie Martinez Play Date - Melanie Martinez Tag, You're It - Melanie Martinez Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes, Adam Levine Mockingbird (sped up) - fenekot (On Spotify) Washing Machine Heart - Mitski Warning from My Demons - SLAVES

GOSSIP - Maneskin, Tom Morello Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy

You can try to tell me that he wouldn't listen to Melanie Martinez, Billie Eilish, 6arelyhuman, Odetari, and Mad Tsai, but we all know he would. You cannot change my mind, love. Anyway, this was super fun ngl so pls ask for character playlists guys! <3333

NONE OF THE PICTURES OR SONGS BEING USED/MENTIONED ARE MINE, ONCE AGAIN THEY ARE NOT MINE.

[cialovesklopp]

chapter two — away we go

summary — it’s her first race and the first time she has to prove herself to the harsh world of formula one. the stakes are high and everything becomes dark once the lights are out. victory is always the highest goal and some are willing to play dirty to get there.

song — genius [ sia, labrinth, lsd ]

warnings — light mentions of drugs and child negligence

word counts — 6.5k

cia’s quick rambles — here’s part two as i’d said. i apologize again for the long wait and really hope that the next chapters are going to come out at a more consistent rate. maybe every two weeks or something. in this chapter we have first conversation with max and he is officially introduced into the series. i hope i get max right as i’ve never written for him but pls, if i get something wrong, just message me. i appreciate it.

on another note, i’ll be taking a mental health break but more to that on another post. also even though i watch a lot of f1, i don’t know shit about the engineering part and am more focused on strategy so pls don’t care much about any technical engineering information that I mention 🫶🏾

( masterlist / navigation / previous / next )

— zandvoort 2023

as if the stars had already decided on her faith and following demise, her first race, where she was to prove her skills, was zandvoort. the home of their fiercest rival and dutch lion — it was enemy’s territory. but despite their small home advantage because of max aaliyah wouldn’t let that divert her from her goal.

it wasn’t just a race and the result that mattered so much to her. all the late nights at the factory, countless hours spent in the wind tunnel were about to be showcased. and aaliyah hated failure. all that work couldn’t have been for nothing. 

for her, it was her first time at the paddock and just from the way people had waited t0 see them arrive, she finally understood all the hype around elite motorsport. the paddock itself was a hive of activity, with people, who happened to cross paths with the mercedes team chef, asking for pictures. aaliyah was amazed by how easily he handled it all, it seemed so easy almost as he took picture after picture. it was a world she just did not belong to. 

roar of engines, the constant smell of burning rubber and the sight of orange wherever she looked were the reminder that she desperately needed. to realize and let it sink in where she actually was. it made her heart race, knowing how much he had dreamt of this moment and now she was living it for him. every detail, from the polished pit lane to the towering grandstands packed with excited fans, felt almost too vivid to be real.

what aaliyah definitely had not expected was for her to be the new talk of the paddock. paparazzi were blinding her with their cameras, while constantly shouting at her to new questions as she walked through the paddock. 

“why do you think you were chosen for this huge role?”

“are you sleeping with toto wolff to get this job?”

“how do you already have a phd?”

her breath hitched in her throat as the paparazzi shouted at her, it was overwhelming and unexpected. the sheer intensity of it all caught her off-guard as they made their way through the crowded paddock. 

toto, who had sensed her discomfort pushed her behind him protectively to shield her from all the questions. “aaliyah, i need you to promise me something.”

she nodded.

“if there is anything, no matter how overwhelming, you look for me directly. don’t try to handle it yourself. i’m always right there.” there was a sense of sternness in his voice but she knew he meant it well. 

and she couldn’t fault him for his protectiveness. even though outwardly she looked composed, inside she felt like a ticking time bomb, poised to explode. and she couldn’t afford to fall apart again, she'd sworn that to herself when they'd spoken about her past.

she would never go that low again.

“i know. i promise.”

aaliyah took a deep breath to get her pulse normal again and it felt like a huge weight fell off her shoulder when they finally reached the mercedes garage. they walked inside lewis’ side of the garage, past his car that had become aaliyah’s new baby and pride. 

just as promised she had brought new upgrades to the car, some a bit more recognizable others small. yet they were all significant— a result of all her hard work she auf poured into. whether it was at three in the morning or during her weekly facetime with eva. 

a few had doubted her suggestions at first and aaliyah couldn’t even blame them for being a bit hesitant towards her. i mean, how could they trust a girl that they had never heard of? a woman who had no experience in this area?

in the end it had been toto, who had forwarded her ideas which helped her set them through along with lewis’ persistence. 

she had changed the floor and brought a new rear wing and seeing the car in front of her fitted with her modifications felt like a small victory. a small part of her promise was completed. 

aaliyah put her bag on the table, that toto had directed her too and which was already equipped with two pairs of headphones. she looked knowingly at him. 

“i don’t think i’m gonna need two.”

he laughed. “schatz, du bist in der formel 1 jetzt. ich sag dir aus erfahrung, du wirst zwei brauchen.” — darling you’re in formula one now. i’m speaking from experience when i’m telling you that you’ll need two

she had gotten an entire space for herself along with an office and she still had a good view of the entire garage, especially on both sides and the data analysts. 

after arranging her desk, that would become her new working space for the next few weekends, toto led her further down the garage again where a man and lewis waited for them. 

“aaliyah, new chief —“

“technical engineer?” bono completed for her. he held out a hand, “we’ve already heard a lot about you.”

“i hope only positive things.”

bono laughed. “believe me, this guy here,” he pointed to lewis, “does not shut up about you. and the new upgrades seem very promising. that’s some terrific work.”

she nodded, sending a small smile, that showed her gratitude. “so just to check, you are lewis’ race engineer. and george’s on the other side?”

“yep. but we all always work as a team together.”

lewis turned towards her. “have you already met the other drivers?”

“was i supposed to? i’m just here to win.”

toto let out a discreet sound, that highly ressembled a snort. “love the mindset already. exactly what we need.”

“happy to deliver. but now back to actual work,” she pulled out her laptop and showed them a board of different graphics surrounding the car. 

she showed them different designs and concepts of the car that involved her upgrades and how they were supposed to work. 

after they had finished going over every little adjustment she had made, the three men bid their goodbyes and went their separate ways. lewis still had to give some interviews before stepping into the car and toto was busy doing whatever team chefs were doing. it gave aaliyah some time to think of what was coming these next days. 

entering the bathroom, aaliyah instantly headed for the sinks and splashed some cold water over her face. she rubbed her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. 

it felt like she was fading away, replaced by a stranger in the mirror. the reflection didn't belong to her anymore; it was as if a shadow self, with a life of its own, stood there instead. she could no longer see herself in the image before her, only a ghostly echo of what once was.

the woman in the mirror was not her. she embodied empowerment, confidence— a transformation. she was the newest chief technical engineer, a groundbreaking achievement as the youngest woman and first in mercedes’ history to hold that title. she felt every bit of that power and distinction. yet, the aaliyah in the mirror seemed like someone else entirely, a reflection separate from the person she believed herself to be. the aaliyah in the mirror was different to her. 

aaliyah wondered: did she also have that constant feeling of something nagging away her soul? if she also felt the kind of pain that led to itching on your entire skin? that aching kind of guilt that was capable of weighing like the entire world? 

aaliyah wondered, "did she too feel that ever-present gnawing at her soul? that relentless itch beneath the skin, that pain that bit and stung like a constant reopening scar? the guilt so heavy, it felt like the weight of the whole world?"

her therapist had already told her that she was suffering from survivor’s guilt. from living while another person found themselves buried six feet under. and there was nothing she could do except live his fucking dream as if it was hers. 

“you’re going to ace this. and you’ll be the fucking best. and you’ll prove to that bitch that you deserved to be her daughter.” 

whoever said that self-pep talks were a waste of time clearly never found themselves in a place where everything felt black and white. as aaliyah stepped out of the bathroom, a hint of color returned to her life—some of the confidence she'd lost after the accident. no, it wasn’t a waste of time at all.

but did she need these words? absolutely, she did. especially after her mother abandoned her, forcing her to practically disown herself. she truly did.

aaliyah had been completely lost in her thoughts, her mind going over the different upgrades she had added to the car that she did not see the person walking opposite to her. i mean who could blame her with all the commotion on the paddock? looking up and staring at everyone would be exhausting. 

she only looked up from the ground again when she was met with a vast chest acting like a wall and making her phone and office map fall down. 

“es tut mir so le— fuck, wrong language. i am so sorry,” aaliyah rambled, kneeling down to pick up all the papers that had fallen out, particularly those that had her sketches and designs for the car. 

“oh, it’s okay. nothing happened. let me help you,” he, as aaliyah could make out, joint her on the floor. she could make out a strong accent but couldn’t exactly place where it was from. somehow that felt like a relief— at least in meant, she would never have to see him again. 

he moved to pick up one of the several documents but aaliyah stopped him. 

“you really don’t have to help me, this was my fault.”

he shook his head and assembled the rest of the papers, handing them to her before standing up from the dirty asphalt. aaliyah rose to her feet again and used the split second she had to get a full look of the man in front of her. 

his dark blonde hair was hidden under a blue cap, matching the color of his shirt. to her, he appeared quite ordinary, much like any other man she had encountered here. however, his blue eyes immediately caught her attention—they were unmistakably familiar, and she was certain she had seen them before.

why did her mind always betray her at crucial moments like this? she had no idea. it’s like her own thoughts turned against her, and honestly, she was not surprised.

“you didn’t have to. i would have managed.”

“and get marched over by all the people here?” he pointed towards all the people around them, all going into different directions that made it look like complete chaos on the paddock. 

a small grin appeared on her lips. “but this was my fault anyway. i wasn’t looking where i was going.”

“i could say the same,” he smiled at her softly. god, he was charming, aaliyah thought to herself. “is your phone okay?”

right, her phone that had shattered on the ground. “yes, my phone is fine, no scratches,” she said, though it clearly wasn’t. she had no interest in continuing the conversation, especially with someone who, upon closer inspection, was clearly wearing red bull merch—an obvious sign of the enemy.

“that doesn’t look like it. i can see the display.”

she laughed nervously. “yeah, but that’s only my business phone. i literally never use it.” at least there was a hint of truth in that.

“okay, that’s a relief. but are you su—“

aaliyah shook her head, “yes, it’s perfectly fine. sorry again and hope you have a nice day.”

he chuckled. “you too. let’s hope you don’t bump into other people anymore.”

aaliyah turned around, not even facing him anymore as she mumbled a small “yeah let’s hope so.” 

she had to get away before any news outlets or paparazzis caught her talking with max verstappen. toto would definitely have her head. 

she had anticipated saturday to be a busy day but actually living and being a part of it was a whole other level. the changements she had made on the car, even though only minute, had brought noticeable changes to the car.  commentators had instantly noticed it during the first free practice sessions and fans had picked it up during the third one. but they didn’t connect her name to it yet. 

just as the data had predicted, the w14 was responding perfectly to the improvements, with lewis even telling them on his radio that he definitely felt quicker on the straights. and the tyre management had increased significantly too. 

however quali was not the same thing as free practice. which is why she nearly spent the entire night at the paddock, going over the car again. it had been toto who had forced her to leave after catching a light still being on at 2 am. 

toto couldn’t know that aaliyah drove herself tirelessly, haunted by a fear that sleep would pull her back into the wreckage of that accident, dragging her into a circle of guilt from which she never seemed to escape.

maybe she wasn’t as okay as she thought. but who could be with a gifted brain treated as a nuisance their whole life? aaliyah didn’t think anyone would be.

“you ready for your first qualifying?” lewis asked her as they stood at her desk, going over the latest data. 

aaliyah shrugged. “i’m not sure. i wouldn’t really describe it as nervous. i just really don’t want to fail.”

“well, you know my motto: still we rise. it’s okay to fall down once a while,” replied lewis.

she nudged him lightly although a small grin had showed up on her lips. “maybe but not on my first race. and now get into the car before your fans accuse me to have let you out too late. we need the data and a good position if we want to catch up to ferrari and those bulls.”

he lifted his hands in surrender. “understood, i’m already going.” 

her eyes followed him as she watched him walk away before sitting down correctly at her desk. the entire garage was buzzing from the upgrades working and with that recent development, they had put all eyes on them. everyone was now waiting for them to actually put their hard work to show where it actually mattered: qualifying. 

but she was proud, watching as the cars raced around the track, putting in best sectors. she had ordered for both george and lewis, to be firstly put on new mediums before switching back to the used soft. the same tactic had been used again, when both cars had gotten to q2. and now was the time for q3, where everything was decided. 

aaliyah wouldn’t describe herself as greedy but she desperately longed for that feeling of satisfaction if the cars qualified above p5. it would be a silent, unspoken confirmation that she wasn’t so out of place as she thought. 

“so lewis, we’re letting you and george out now to put a few laps down before we change tyres again to the used softs from q2 since we raced the fewest laps with them. that way we can have them for the race at the beginning,” aaliyah told lewis over the radio. 

“copy that.”

the two black cars exited the garage again and aaliyah moved her eyes back to the screen. the two red bull cars were already on the track and max verstappen had already done two purple sectors. something that was not so unusual anymore from what she had heard. 

george and lewis had done two laps before going back to the pit again, while aaliyah went over the gained data with the other analysts and strategists. she had already figured out that the trickiest part for the car was sector two, as it was there that the silver arrows were losing the most time. the goal was now to turn the wrong into the right. 

“sector one and three are looking good lewis, try to push more in sector two,” said bono over the radio. 

aaliyah also pushed the radio button. “and george, be careful. you already have track limits warnings.”

as the session unfolded, she watched with anticipation where the few changes they had taken from friday to saturday could leave them. she could see the way the two drivers were pushing the car to its limits and just like the rest of the mercedes staff, she held her breath when lewis and george were putting in their last times. 

“oh my god,” she let out and put a hand over her mouth. “p5 for george and…”

“p2 for lewis,” bono told her with a huge smile plastered on his face. the entire garage erupted into cheers and applause was heard from everywhere. “the upgrades are working brilliantly.”

toto walked over to them and engulfed aaliyah in a side hug. “p2, not bad for your first race. congratulations, you did amazing. those upgrades were incredible work.”

“but this wasn’t just my work, it’s the entire team that worked its ass off.”

“still, your upgrades made this possible. can’t believe we’re actually a threat on enemy’s territory.”

“but it does feel good,” added another voice and aaliyah turned to find george walking towards them, still in his race suit with his helmet underneath his arm.

she was caught off-guard when he also all of the sudden pulled her into a hug, his face still glistening with sweat. “the car felt amazing out there. we were actually competing for pole again.”

“like i said, this was all a team effort. and you and lewis did amazing out there,” she replied modestly, her face a mixture of relief and excitement. “tell me, is qualifying always this nerve-wrecking?”

“believe me, tomorrow will be twice as hard.”

toto sent her a reassuring smile. “it’ll be okay, you get used to it. and this is the perfect start for the first race after the big summer break here. so keep up the good work and this might be every weekend.”

“what are the chances for a win tomorrow?”

“well, those red bulls are basically space rockets. their speed on the straights is unmatched. but good strategy should bring us a double podium at least,” aaliyah explained. she looked at her watch again and then at george. “by the way shouldn’t you be giving out interviews?”

george waved dismissively. “they don’t mind me coming late. all the questions will probably be about you as our new engineering wizard.”

aaliyah rolled her eyes at his teasing undertone. “my only job is to make sure that the car looks good. i don’t know what’s there to be called magic.”

“maybe but seriously, the car felt fantastic. the upgrades really improved the tyre management and this new ground speed was definitely helpful during drs.”

did her ego grow twice now after hearing it from george? maybe not. but she could not deny that it didn’t feel good, hearing that her changes were successful. 

"glad to hear about that, g. now we just have to analyse sector 2 because that’s where we lose the  most seconds.”

he nodded and then leaned in, lowering his voice. “can i ask you something?”

“as long as it’s not a date.”

george gasped and looked at her with an overdramatic, offended expression. “you? never. and i love carmen too much.”

aaliyah grinned. “same, can’t wait to meet her. so what did you wanna ask?”

he lowered his mouth to her ear again. “you think you could make my car faster than lewis so overtaking him will become easier?”

“are you already gossiping without me? and i thought we had a mutual agreement concerning gossip,” a new voice called out and they turned to see lewis arriving, not in his racesuit anymore and with a drink in his hands. 

aaliyah smiled at him playfully. 

“it wasn’t anything important anyway. and congratulations for p2.”

“wouldn’t have been possible without you. the upgrades are fantastic.”

toto suddenly clapped his hands, drawing everyone's attention and interrupting them. "so, team, debrief in ten minutes and then strategy meeting for tomorrow. if we play our cards right, we can have our first win tomorrow.”

the ten minutes had only been sufficient for a small coffee break before they were expected again for the debrief. 

she felt proud of herself for achieving this accomplishment and making the car better but at the same time this nagging feeling she had experienced in the bathroom earlier had not truly gone away. 

specifically, after the debrief she could not stop thinking about what would happen if she failed or disappointed toto. she would have to go back to munich again, stuck in that hopeless circle of despair while trying to find her place in the world. these past weeks had given her a little taste of what she could belong to; what it felt like to have a whole safety net she could rely on again. 

losing it would crush her. 

that constant fear she carried around with her was also part of the reason, why even after the debrief was concluded, she stayed back to analyse some more data. george and lewis had asked her to join them for dinner but she had declined politely, wanting to perfect her work. 

that constant fear she carried was like an invisible tide, pulling her deeper into her work. even after the debrief ended, she lingered, absorbed in her data, as if trying to outpace the relentless current of her anxiety. george and lewis had invited her to dinner, but she had declined politely, wanting to perfection her work.

aaliyah wanted the small taste of victory she had gotten today to last and she needed to put the work behind it. especially because the world of f1 was harsh and critics were ruthless. so she allowed herself to savor the moment but always with the reminder that it could be over as quick as it had started. 

it was toto who had to drag her out of the office at way past eleven again. the sound of footsteps echoed in the empty corridor but aaliyah pushed it aside, assuming it was just security or cleaning services. she was too focused on her work, even though her body screamed tiredness, to comprehend what was going on around her. 

“you do know that in order to win, we need you alive right?” 

aaliyah turned around, a small yawn escaping and looked up to see toto standing in the doorway. his facial expression was a mix of concern and soft astonishment. 

“why are you asking that?”

toto shrugged, stepping into the room. “i’m just reminding you. i don’t need my newest chief technical engineer to die from lack of sleep. why didn’t you join george and lewis for dinner?”

she sighed, reluctantly closing her laptop. “i thought spending the evening with some data was more appealing than some pasta.”

“and you say you love pasta?”

aaliyah feigned a look of horror. "i adore pasta but work has priorities. there was still so much to do; like i worked on our strategies for tomorrow again and i think we could apply some of these things like,” she rummaged through all the papers on the table and handed toto a messy sketch.

“for a better airflow we could amply this. maybe that will help them during sector two because that’s always where we lost the most time. and then in case ferrari is going on a similar strategy, i have developed a plan e and f that i just have to go over with the strategy crew and bono. you know, since lewis is going second.”

toto nodded, clearly impressed but there was also concern across his face. “when was the last time you slept for more than five hours?”

as she thought about his question, toto snorted. “the fact that you have to think about it says enough. come on, i’ll drive you to the hotel.”

“but what about the other—”

“anything else can be done tomorrow,” he cut her off, grabbing a part of her things. “look aaliyah, i know the f1 world is harsh but there’s a balance between life and success. working yourself to death won’t do it. so how about you let that brain of yours rest a bit?”

“i’m not tired, i’m fine. sleep’s overrated anyway.”

toto threw a quick glance at the small trash bin where he could identify three empty cups of coffee. 

“but no sleep is not the goal. come on, let’s get going. don’t make me call eva.”

aaliyah rose an eyebrow. “why would you call eva?”

“she told me that in case you have one of your brain episodes, where you can’t stop overthinking, i should call her in case it becomes too much,” his eyes softened as he looked at her. “she cares about you. very much.”

aaliyah smiled softly. “she’s the closest thing i have to a family with gabriella and jan.”

“yeah, and the least i can do is bring you back in one piece to them. so come on, let’s get you to bed.”

she considered it, then smiled. "fine, this time you win.”

the two walked out of the garage together, the night air cool against their skin as they exited the paddock. the night sky was shining bright above them as they walked past all the other boxes, a small smile appearing on aaliyah’s lips when toto put a hand around her shoulder. 

tomorrow could definitely come now.

 

race day dawned bright and clear and announced itself early in the morning with aaliyah having to wake up at eight. so much for getting more sleep. but she had to admit that she had been tired — as soon as she had entered her room, she was knocked out. 

she couldn't even remember how she had gotten into her bed or when her head had touched the pillow, everything from last night was a blur. 

thinking back to yesterday and how there was a clear gap in her mind made aaliyah think back to another time she had lived too. when she was just that empty person with no aspirations or goals, lacking any kind of direction and just floating through life. 

her thoughts wandered back to when running the entire day on chemicals was the only way for her to survive. the only means to keep her from drowning in the weight of unrelenting expectations and emotions she was carrying with her. 

but that time was over — or at least she thought so it was her past. focus was now on the future and the race.

after the dutch national anthem had been performed, the drivers went back to the garage shortly before joining their teams and their cars on the starting grid. aaliyah’s eyes traveled around her surroundings as she walked towards the w14, all the stands blurring to a sea of orange. the dutch fans had turned up proudly in their home colors to support their hometown boy.

she was relieved but also a bit surprised to see toto beside her but shrugged it off and the two walked to george’s car first after sharing a small smile. 

“you here to give me a last few words?” george asked her playfully which had aaliyah roll her eyes. 

“i don’t know; do you need them?”

“well, i’ve already gotten my pep talk from carmen but a few last encouraging words have never hurted,” he replied. 

aaliyah patted him softly on the back. “well, russell george; i’m sure you’ll ace this. a few positions should be in the game for us. you just have to push.”

“copy that chef. thanks aaliyah,” they exchanged a last high five before she let toto talk with his driver and headed up to lewis’ car. 

next to his car was the glorious rb19, the rocketship she was desperately trying to beat and outmaster. since she didn’t want to look suspicious, however, aware of all the cameras around them, she quickly turned around, giving it a last glance before focusing on the black car in front of her. 

lewis was already seated in his car so she bent down to talk with him. 

“are you nervous?” the british world champion asked her once they exchanged small greetings. 

aaliyah shrugged. “a bit, it’s my first race. i don’t want to screw up by making a wrong choice. quali has nothing on actual race day.”

she didn’t know why but lewis somehow always understood her. they didn’t have to talk much or share many words to know what the other was thinking. 

aaliyah vermutete that it was because of their struggles, that were so similar, that made connecting to each other so much easier. 

“i remember my first one, i don’t think i even slept. i was so nervous and excited.”

“believe me, toto had to drag me out of here at half past one.”

lewis grabbed her hand in a comforting way. “hey, no matter what position i end up today, you did great. for the first time since 2022 i feel comfortable again in the car.”

she nodded reluctantly. “then let’s hope the car is ready for the next race. i want to experience a real win.”

“i’m sure we will be back in monza. maybe even get an actual win. but let’s focus on this race first.”

“indian on me if you make a podium.”

“already telling you now, thanks for dinner.”

aaliyah shook her head at him, a huge smile on her face, and walked back to the garage. after sharing a quick greeting with mick, she took her respective seat next to toto and focused her eyes on the screen in front of her. 

a quick glance at the time told her it was only one minute till the lights went out. one last round till it actually started. whether she succeeded or failed, the press would know her name by the end of the day. aaliyah still had to choose if that was a good or bad thing, the entire scrutiny she would be living under now. 

“now the magic happens,” whispered toto. 

the formation lap had ended and all the cars were in starting position. three lights had already gone out. 

“i hope i used the right spell.” the lights were finally out and with it, the race started. 

lewis managed to gain the lead in the first ten laps, overtaking max at the start, but it was clear to aaliyah, after a quick look at the data, that he wouldn’t be able to hold that position.

george on the hand seemed to do well with his mediums and had moved up to fourth place after overtaking charles leclerc. both drivers had been set on the same strategy to maximize the gains and maybe have a double podium so aaliyah left them some time, choosing against putting them. 

“how many seconds could we gain if we pit george now and try to undercut the norris?” toto asked her when the gap between george and norris came down to 3 seconds. 

“depends on how his tires are at the moment. for now, none of the top six have boxed yet,” she looked at george’s times and then at marcus, his race engineer. “tell him he can push a bit more and close the gap to norris.”

marcus looked at her with curiosity. “and when do you want to box him?”

“we will undercut the moment he is close enough to overtake. that way norris will push his tires and when he boxes, we box lewis too. that should stop an undercut on us.”

he nodded. “so plan c it is.”

aaliyah pressed the radio button for lewis. “so lewis, i just wanted to inform you that we’re going for plan c.”

“copy that.”

“how are your tires?”

“i still have grip so they’re okay. i can still last on them. by the way is the indian you promised me vegan?”

“i don’t know, i haven’t looked for a place yet. you have to win the podium first.”

“copy that.”

aaliyah looked down to hide her grin and rolled her eyes, clearly amused by lewis. 

just as she had predicted, mclaren did call in lando norris the moment they realized the undercut that had been performed on them. and it became even more unfortunate for them when they saw lewis being called in right after them for a set of hard tyres. 

the rest of the race went in their favor even if they couldn’t compete for the win. after they had completed the pit stop, lewis had regained second place again and george had moved up to third with the undercut clearly working. and the latter had created such a big gap afterwards to norris in fourth place, that it had given them an extra pit stop which they could use to box for soft tyres and chase after the fastest lap. 

so although max verstappen had still claimed victory on home ground, aaliyah wasn’t disappointed. it wasn’t happiness she was feeling; more like content. satisfaction to her avoidance of failure. 

and she could add gratefulness to it when she watched lewis and george on the podium steps, happily raising their trophies in the air. the cheers from the mercedes garage were deafening, the joy contagious as they celebrated their success. one could even think that it was them who had won. 

while the rest of the team went to greet the two drivers and get ready for the podium celebration, aaliyah stayed back. she had already congratulated lewis and george on the radio and could talk to them later after the prize giving ceremony. 

as she placed back her headphones, toto walked up to her. he smiled at her knowingly and without warning pulled her into a hug too. 

“you did great this weekend. this wouldn’t have been possible without your work.”

“this was teamwork. and it was just my first weekend. monza is going to be different.”

he smirked at her. “already memorizing the calendar?”

“i like to be prepared. i have to outsmart the competition.”

“and how do you feel? do you feel that rush?”

aaliyah nodded. “it’s like lewis told me. the whole reason this sport is so endearing is because it keeps you alive. like a drug.” 

she wished she had been addicted to that and not the whole chemical stuff she had snorted up her nose to feel alive. 

“yeah, it’s like that. man hat seine höhen und tiefen in diesem sport. aber deswegen ist es wert.” — you have your highs and lows in this sport. but that’s what makes it worthwhile.

aaliyah smirked. “i’m going to crush them. today was good, a sweet taste but i can do more; do better.”

toto patted her on her shoulder. “i’m excited for your future work.”

“it’s going to be brilliant.”

even though they had just celebrated another win, the vibe in the red bull garage was the complete opposite. it wasn’t sad in the garage — everyone was still buzzed and cheery because of the good weekend, but there was an air of caution also in the air. there was a distant taste of urgency in the air that had not been addressed yet but could not be ignored any longer. 

because now an actual threat, that they had thought could be ignored, had risen again. 

and christian horner wouldn’t be who he was if he hadn’t already thought about the measures they had to take to make sure to stay on the top. he had watched the race data repeatedly, analysed it again after the podium ceremony and each time, it worried him more when he looked at the times from the mercedes cars.

the rb19 had been the quickest car on the grid again but the margin to the other teams became smaller and smaller, each race that passed. and somehow mercedes had done an incredible jump and had even surpassed the ferraris, concerning closing the gap to them. they may still have their rocketship but it was clearly looking like mercedes was making the transformation from jet to rocketship too. 

taking a deep breath, his eyes travelled the room before they finally fell on the winner from today’s race and sergio perez, his second driver. both had already finished with their media commitments and horner motioned for them to follow him into his office. the two drivers followed, both clueless about what had their boss not enjoy the victory party. 

his office was neat, clean and strictly organized. nothing was out of place and no item that stood in his pristine office was not without a reason in its place. trophies, helmets and photographs could all be seen in the background, either on shelves or hung on the wall. max and sergio both took a seat and looked at christian expectantly. 

the red bull principal shut the door before joining them at his desk. he let out a sigh. “so. i hate to bring this up now, especially after such a fantastic and productive day but i fear there’s no path to escape what is coming.”

“is something wrong with the car?” asked checo. 

“not in that way. however mercedes have apparently gotten their things back together because the upgrades they’ve brought are working,” he explained to them. “we got off the hook today as i think they didn’t want to risk a few grid penalties but monza could become difficult.”

max let out a small scoff. “we have the best car on the fucking grid. and who cares if we don’t always win with a one-lap-gap. as long as we win and win the constructor’s championship, everything is fine. it’s too late for them too catch up.”

“but they were incredibly strong today. things could have gone slightly different today. they were not playing and from what the data shows me, their ground speed has improved a lot too. they are catching up and quick,” he argued frustratedly.

max shrugged, not really seeing what there was to worry about. because even if the car wasn’t the best anymore, he was still the best driver and he didn’t need the fastest car to win. he was capable of winning with the second fastest car; he had done it before. “we’ve got adrian. and hannah is also the best. we are still unbeatable and the championship is practically decided too.”

“but we shouldn’t ignore that we can’t race too comfortably anymore,” checo replied, agreeing with christian. 

“exactly. something is telling me that these next races are going to be tough. today wasn’t just luck for mercedes.”

max leaned back in his seat. “okay, and what do you want us to do?”

christian looked between the two drivers. “i know that mercedes brought a new chief technical engineer on board.”

checo nodded. “yes, lewis did mention something about a new engineer and the ideas had been her idea. apparently she’s the one making a difference there.”

“and i want you two to spy a bit on them and see what you can find out. find her, try to talk to her. i’ve never heard of her so she must be new to the sport which means she’s also more prone to making mistakes.”

checo spoke up. "but we don’t want this to become another spygate."

“of course not. i’m not saying, find her and instantly bombard her with question. be subtle and smart about it,” he turned towards max. “use your charm. maybe she’ll slip something. from what i saw, she’s young.”

he was still very displeased with the idea but gave in at last. “fine, i’ll see what george could tell me amybe. but i don’t really think this is necessary.”

“maybe we’re overreacting but from what i heard, they want to bring in another set of upgrades to monza and if those work, the victory might as well be theirs.”

“don’t worry we got this.” they reassured him before leaving the office to join the festivities outside again. christian watched them go and leaned back in his chair. while he had deep trust in max and checo, some things had to be done alone. especially in formula one, where everyone was a shark, holding out their nose for the smell of fresh blood. 

off the track, they may all be friendly with each other but on it— that was the hunting ground and playing nice ended in nothing. no one could truly succeed by always playing by the book. those were the risks that made the sport so thrilling and alive. 

digging was only the first of the things he would be doing to get behind whatever mercedes were planning. getting his hands dirty was the least of his worries if it meant staying on top. it’s only too bad, that the same truth that brought him to the top could get her six feet under.

[seagull9111]

Family Line by Conan Gray being nico di angelo coded

a VERY necessary post, also @that-dam-heartstopper-fan and that one anon this is for u!! THIS IS NOT ALL THE LYRICS IN THE SONG

"My mother never cried a lot She took the punches, but she never fought"

- maria di angelo taking both verbal and physical abuse from the gods (zues) and presumably her family and friends.

"I say they're just the ones who gave me life But I truly am my parents' child"

- change that to 'parent' and thats nico deflecting rumors about him being a killer and a kidnapper because of his godly parentage.

"Told a million (lies) to survive"

- nico lying to mortals about himself. lying to hades about what he is doing. lying to his friends about how he is feeling.

"I watch the fathers with their little girls And wonder what I did to deserve this"

- nico, while homeless, seeing other happy familes with food, water, warmth. while he has to move around constantly

"How could you hurt a little kid? I can't forget, I can't forgive you 'Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me"

- 10 year old nico when bianca dies running into the labrinth for 'safety'. him struggling with trust issues only to be proven right once again when jason dies.

"I was a kid but I wasn't clueless (Someone who loves you wouldn't do this)"

- the people around him, jason, percy, chiron, hades, hazel(?) treating him like a fragile kid after all he had done for their respect

"All of my past, I tried to erase it But now I see, would I even change it?"

- nico realizing that as crappy as him life had been going, it made him into himself and he wouldnt have it any other way

"I can run, but I can't hide"

- after years of running and hiding from others, he finds that maybe it would be easier to stay, just this once.

based off this post, but i though about it too much and took it too far.

!!!ALSO GO LISTEN TO THE SONG IT SOO GOOD!!!!

[ruewrote]

𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑.

PAIRING: jj maybank x fem!reader WARNINGS: jj having a panic attack, reader worrying for jj GENRE: flangst. SONG INSPIRATION: beneath your beautiful by labrinth WORD COUNT: 718 REQUESTED: yes

navigation | ask | outer banks masterlist

you would say that jj was a very outgoing person, he always had a bright attitude toward everything. he'd been like ever since you were young.

whether it'd be with the way he held himself or how he talked to others, but deep down his insecurities dug deep.

the biggest one of all was looking like his mother, his dad made sure jj knew how much he hated him for it.

it started off with hurtful words that soon turned into cuts and bruises, it had only gotten worse as he grew up.

he'd wince and try and secretly hold his side when he fell a bit too dramatically onto you, not looking you in the eyes as he got up, changing the subject before you could even say anything about it.

you knew him. you knew something wasn't right.

weeks went by and you gave him every opportunity for him to tell you what was really going on, but got nothing in return.

tonight you were supposed to have your movie night, just like you did every friday after school since your parents were at work 'til late, but no. there you sat alone. the most recent message out of five going straight to delivered.

blowing out a defeated sigh, tired of waiting around. you started getting ready for bed, changing into a borrowed sweatshirt that was his and a pair of shorts, sliding under your bed covers.

your head full of worried thoughts as it pressed against your pillow, unlocking your phone for what felt like the hundredth time that evening still not finding any sign of a response.

closing your eyes deciding it was better to sleep early than to overthink.

an hour went by and you lay looking up at your ceiling wide awake, grunting as you chucked the pillow from under your head, over your face.

that's when your phone started to vibrate from beside you. shooting up from under the mountain of blankets, you clicked accept.

"y/n we need your help-- jj just got to the chateau and he's freaking the fuck out can you--?" kiera rambled, with that said you ran out of your house, jumped onto your bike, feet pedaling as fast as they could.

not caring about how the old metal chain was scrapping against your calves. just hoping that he was alright.

you heard the muffled but recognizable yells as you got closer, hearing things being thrown from the other side of the home as you leaned your bike up against the porch fencing.

"c'mon man, you gotta chill out!"

your hands clenched at your sides as you made your way into the house, seeing broken glass everywhere. the shouts getting louder as you carefully shuffled over the debris.

"jay?" that was all it took for everything to stop. a heavy silence hung over the chateau, jj slowly turned to you, his fists uncurled. letting his guard down since it was you.

gasping when you saw his bruised face, rushing over to him hands hovering over his cheeks, not wanting to hurt him. he hadn't made any effort of looking into your eyes, feeling too ashamed of himself. your thumb brushed against his chin, tilting his head toward you, that's when jj broke down.

jj's body slumped into yours, his shoulders shook as you held him, your arms wrapped tightly around him as you stroked the hair that you could reach. his fingers clenched the material of your clothing as he nuzzled his face deeper into the crook of your neck.

"i've got you, it's okay..."

you made eye contact with pope and john, giving them a sad smile and watching them leave you standing in the middle of the messy living room with the broken boy still in your arms.

it was later now and you were cuddled up under jj's arm, laying on his chest as a random movie played in the background. he fell asleep a long time ago, but you continued to trace shapes on his chest.

not being able to sleep, feeling heartbroken after finding out the truth about his dad. blaming yourself for not noticing sooner.

your eyes now filling with tears as you looked up to see how peaceful he looked as he slept. so carefree.

that night you made a promise to him and yourself that you'd protect jj no matter what. not realizing yourself falling even deeper for him.

© ruewrote.

[starkeysheart]

Dating Rafe Cameron

A Playlist 🎀

1:36 ━❍──────── -3:18

↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

Devil’s Advocate - The Neighbourhood

House of Balloons / Glass Tables - The Weeknd

All For Us - Labrinth

Happier Than Ever - Billie Eilish

You Don’t Own Me - SAYGRACE, G-Eazy

NEW MAGIC WAND - Tyler, The Creator

Never Be Like You - Flume (Ft. Kai)

Star Shopping - Lil Peep

She Knows - J. Cole, Cults, Amber Coffman

Stargirl Interlude - The Weeknd

Sippy Cup - Melanie Martinez

Wonder - Lana Del Rey

Don’t Blame Me - Taylor Swift

Let The Light In - Lana Del Rey

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

High By The Beach - Lana Del Rey

Black Out Day - Phantogram

Falling Down - Lil Peep, XXX

Star Shopping - Lil Peep

Super Rich Kids - Frank Ocean, Earl Sweatshirt

Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkey

Softcore - The Neighbourhood

i’m debating on writing separate stories for each song, i did it in 2021 with she knows by j cole and people liked it- so let me know if i should 🤭

also any songs i should add !!