#like teaching a teen how to drive is already a fucking nightmare

[bunnipuff]

learning how to drive in garlemald sure must be an experience, huh

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Masterlist 1 Mystic Messenger Fluff/Crack/Other

Going camping with the RFA+V and Saeran!

RFA+minor trio opening a tight jar

Poly relationship with Jumin and the Choi twins

Seven teaching MC Programming for a school project!

RFA+V and Saeran with an MC who smokes cigs

RFA+V and Saeran with an MC who self harms (TW)

RFA with and MC who decimates their catcallers

RFA+ V and Saeran with a shy MC

RFA with a super bubbly MC

One and Only Brother (Saeyoung x Mc)

Bubbly MC with V and Saeran

RFA + V and Saeran with and MC who has toxic parents

Reaction to Jumin and the Choi boys to a horse riding date

RFA + Saeran with a belle like MC

RFA comforting a sad MC

Summer time with the RFA+Saeran

RFA with an MC who is a picky eater

MC writes a song for the RFA

Saeran+V with an MC who is with an abusive partner (TW: mentions of abuse and a toxic partner)

Jumin and Seven with an MC who has an abusive partner:

Zen and Jumin with an MC who doesn’t like tea

RFA+V and Saeran where they’re stuck in an elevator with MC

RFA+ V and Saeran with a bold drunk MC

RFA PLUS v and Saeran with a foreign exchange student

RFA with a S/O that has tourettes

RFA + Saeran with an MC that falls asleep randomly

RFA+V and Saeran where MC’s cat disappears

RFA+V and Saeran reading the MC to sleep

RFA+V and Saeran with MC that blurts out “you’re beautiful”

Rfa+V and Saer when the MC has a nightmare

RFA+V and Saeran comforting and MC who had a panic attack

What if MC was the one stabbed during V route

RFA with an MC studying for the LSAT

Poly relationship with Jumin and Saeran in Mint Eye

RFA with an MC who overworks themselves

Poly relationship with Saeyoung and Yoosung

RFA with a witch MC

Saeyoung and MC preparing for parenthood

RFA with an MC who is on her period

Jumin and MC’s reaction when their parents start dating

Saeyoung with an MC with social anxiety

MC calling the RFA because she saw her dog’s willy

Saeran teaching Saeyoung how to cook:

Saeyoung and V teaching MC to drive:

MC who doesn’t like guys with lots of muscles:

MC accidentally confessing to the RFA+V and Saeran:

Jumin reacting to an MC who eats Elizabeth’s poop

RFA with an MC who makes self depreciating jokes:

RFA with an MC reading Killing Stalking:

RFA+Saeran with an MC that likes cosplaying:

MC slapping the butt of the RFA and saying mine:

RFA with an MC who is 10cm taller than them:

RFA+Saeran with a vegetarian/vegan MC:

RFA with an MC who sends audios of them laughing:

RFA with an MC who thought she couldn’t get pregnant but she actually did:

MC calling the RFA sluts (in a friendly way

 RFA switching bodies with MC:

RFA+V and Saeran with an MC who has a husband/waifu:

RFA with an MC in the hospital (fluff):

RFA + V and Saeran reacting to an MC that gets a sugar daddy/mommy:

Heartbreak (angst with a happy ending, MC x Seven):

MC threatening to cut of the RFA’s dick (a lot of crack pft)

RFA with an MC that bullies little kids in games:

RFA with an MC coming out as non-binary:

RFA+V and Saeran with a nb MC having a dysphoria breakdown:

RFA with an MC that can’t remove the tampon:

MC barking at the RFA:

RFA with an MC who is sassy and sarcastic:

RFA with an MC that streams on twitch:

RFA with an MC that wears onesies:

RFA with an MC that likes washing their hair

RFA reaction to see the MC singing and dancing: ONE OF MY FAVORITES

RFA’s bad traits:

RFA with an MC that thinks everything is cake:

RFA with an MC who is an amazing singer:

RFA finding MC’s baby pictures:

RFA BEACH TRIP

Furrmidable Date! (Saeyoung x MC)

RFA’s reaction to MC’s ex still trying to contact them:

RFA and the MC get lost in IKEA:

RFA + V and Saeran comforting a teen!MC

RFA with an MC who just got glasses:

Together (Saeran x fem!MC)

RFA+ V and Saeran as Disney characters: AHHH I LOVE THIS ONE AND I SERIOUSLY WANT TO DRAW EVERY SINGLE ONE LMAO

RFA kissing an MC with a tongue piercing:

RFA with an MC who tells them they’re curious about feet fetishes:

V and Saeran bad traits:

MM as Avatar characters

The RFA+minor trio with a stomach bug:

RFA+minor trio opening a tight jar:

MC making the RFA+V and Saeran (+alters) happy cry:

Addictions of the RFA+minor trio:

V’s Route but MC fell in love with Seven instead of V

V’s Route but Seven dies

RFA with an MC who doesn’t like to spend money on themselves:

RFA with an MC who listens to creepy pasta:

Rika with an insecure skinny MC:

Seven and Yoosung arguing over which anime girl is the best waifu (with Saeran slowly dying on the inside)

Rika with an MC that likes styling her hair:

JuminxV fluffy headcanons:

RFA with a MC’s who’s sister is dead but asks them if they’re cheating on them with their sister I honestly don’t know how to do the title lmao

Baking with V for his birthday

Jumin taking care of sick V:

RFA members with a podcast

MC taking care of hungover RFA members+minor trio!

Comfort (MC x Suit!Saeran) tw: mentions of abuse:

MC giving belly rubs to the RFA+minor trio to soothe a tummy ache:

RFA+minor duo with two spiders running towards them in the bathroom:

Seven, Jumin, Yoosung+minor trip reacting to MC fucking murdering Rika:

RFA with an MC who has turned into a worm:

V asking a shy MC to model for him

RFA+V reaction to a strong, dotting MC:

RFA+V and Saeran when MC suddenly pulls their pants down in public:

H*lding h*nds with Jumin:

A random little party between the RFA members

Pranking V+Saeran(and then comforting them.)

RFA+minor trio with MC as their teenage sister:   Part 2

RFA+V reaction to a spider jumping out when they’re in the bathroom:

RFA+minor duo reacting to MC switching bodies with Eli:

RFA+minor trio’s reaction to their stomach growling when they’re cuddling with the MC (that’s a long ass title lmao)

RFA+minor trio+Rika playing among us:

RFA with an MC who is secretly hurting (tw abusive relationship):

Imaginary Friend: (Jumin x Fem!MC) Part 1

RFA’s reaction to MC being a mermaid:

MC wno already knew Zen cuz they worked at the bar his gang hung out in

Jumin x V wedding hcs:

Friendship hc for MM characters:

Saeyoung comforting an MC after they lost their cat: 

MM characters reacting to their stomach growling in front of MC:

V and Saeran with their stomach growling next to MC:

Jumin pulling down the RFA members pants:

NSFW

Jumin with an insecure chubby MC

RFA with a virgin MC (NSFW)

RFA with an MC that can pole dance

RFA with an MC who has a degradation kink

Punishment (Fem! MC x Seven)

RFA+ Saeran reacting to an MC who moans their name in her sleep

RFA with a masochist MC

Car sex with Saeyoung

Saeran with a petite chubby MC

Zen+Mannequin trio (NSFW-ish?)

RFA with an MC who likes the possibility of getting caught (nsfw-ish)

Tease (Jumin x MC, NSFW)

RFA with an MC that likes to be dominant in bed (nsfw]:

Shut up and drive (Seven x MC, nsfw-ish)

Lesson time (Jumin x MC, nsfw)

RFA with an MC who likes to play with the guys soft d*cks (crack, nsfw I guess? Pft)

First time (Jumin x MC, NSFW)

RFA+ V’s reactions when MC bursts into the bathroom. (With a bit of smut)

Jumin x V, HCS NSFW version:

JuminxV (NSFW-ish) Birthday edition

Sub! V hcs:

Pegging V (NSFW)

RFA+minor duo with a lady on the streets and a monster on the sheets (NSFW)

Angst

Breaking up with the RFA because they cheat on MC

I’ve always loved you (Jumin x MC) happy ending

Rejection (idk can’t write titles lmao, Seven x MC angst):

Regret: TW Mentions of death and suicide

Mistake (AKA ME-okno I’ll stop) Jumin angst:

Falling out of love with the RFA+Saeran:

Seduce Me the Otome

James with an insecure chubby S/O:

[daisybeewrites]

Academy Blues

avoi-dance!

word count: 3.7k

warnings: nightmares

ship: dousy (daisy johnson/daniel sousa)

ahahaha dousy is becoming a spark

Shaking.

Quaking.

Rubble falling.

Bones snapping.

Something dark on the floor.

He’s gone.

He’s gone.

He’s gone.

Daisy bolted upright, ribs expanding and contracting rapidly. The bed was shaking. A small cacti was on the floor, sand and pebbles thrown across the rug, pieces of the decorative pot shattered. She looked over at her clock.

2:14am. Great.

Daisy quickly rose, gathering her rug in one hand and a sweatshirt in the other. She walked down the hall, quiet as a mouse, still shaky.

Breathe, Daisy, She told herself.

She reached the bathroom without encountering anyone. She set the rug on the counter, gathering the tiny cactus and shaking it out of the soil.

“Ouch,” She inhaled sharply. Cacti are prickly.

The mirror rattled a bit as Daisy shook the sand and pebbles into the trash. She held back tears, the aftershocks of her nightmare hitting her.

A presence in the doorway caught her attention.

“Daisy? What’re you doin’?”

Jemma sounded like she had just woken up, her accented voice thick and scratchy with sleep.

Daisy opened her mouth to respond, but her voice cracked on the first syllable. Jemma’s eyes widened, registering the sight before her. She rushed over, enveloping Daisy in a tight hug. Jemma could feel Daisy’s chest racking with sobs. At least she could comfort her now, like she wasn’t allowed to before.

Jemma slowly pulled away as Daisy’s cries became quieter and less frequent. The small cacti was still resting on the counter, the rug discarded on the tiled floor.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jemma asked gently.

Daisy looked up, the rattling of the mirror lessening as she exhaled.

“I broke my cactus,” She sniffled, a few tears escaping as she stared at the broken succulent. She was really looking forward to watching this one grow.

Daisy shook her head, wiping her eyes with her sweatshirt sleeve. Silently, the pair picked up the rug and walked back to Daisy’s room. Daisy saved the small cacti, not quite able to just throw it in the trash. Jemma surveyed the furniture, making sure that nothing else had fallen. Her room was in its usual messy yet organized array. It made Jemma’s skin itch, but at least Daisy knew where everything was. Daisy collapsed onto her bed, pulling a fuzzy blanket around her shoulders.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Daisy thought for a moment, watching Jemma fidget with her fingers and rub her neck, noting her under eye circles and the sluggish way she smiled.

“I’m good,” Daisy said.

Jemma raised an eyebrow, tilting her head. “Are you sure? I don’t mind, really,” She offered.

Daisy nodded. “I promise, I’m good.”

Jemma hesitantly nodded, then left, softly closing the door behind her.

Daisy flopped backwards onto her pillows. She wasn't sleeping anytime soon.

Daisy woke at 9:36 later that day, her alarm buzzing softly and her phone screen lit with several missed calls from Elena and May.

7:04–May

Are you otw?

7:10–Yo-yo

daisy, you’re late

7:15–Missed call from May (2)

8:02–Yo-yo

may is pissed

get your best sorry ready

Daisy sighed. Fuck nightmares.

She had already missed half of second period, not that it wasn’t anything she didn’t already know how to do. Might as well take advantage of the empty canteen.

After speedily brushing her teeth and getting dressed, Daisy grabbed her backpack and headed out.

True to routine, the canteen was void of people, save for a group of fifth-years chatting in the corner. Daisy grabbed her usual cinnamon raisin bagel and coffee and found a spot near the back doors. If May came in, she would run. It was too early and Daisy was too tired to deal with May’s concern.

Daisy glanced up as the doors across the large hall opened again, almost spitting out her coffee at who walked in.

Ohmygodhe’scomingoverhere, don’t be an idiot!

“Hey, Danny Boy,” Daisy greeted. Smooth, very good start.

“Hey, Dais,” He said, morning voice rough and low. Daisy ignored the rising number on her biometer watch and quickly hid her hand under the table, resting on her bouncing knee.

She cocked an eyebrow. “Just getting up, are we?”

Daniel shrugged, “My alarm clock is broken, and I’m ahead in all my classes anyway. Missing one to trade for sleep won’t hurt me.”

“Aren’t you in May’s class, though? She hates when people skip,” Daisy asked.

Daniel thought this over for a second before responding, demeanor a tad sheepish. “I might have already asked for the notes for this week, everything she’s teaching today I’ve already been studying.”

Daisy smiled. Nerd.

“Well, in that case, would you care to join me in my avoidance of classes?”

Daniel checked his analog watch, second period was almost over. “Sure. My third is calculus, and all we do in there is textbook work anyway.”

Daisy stood up, stretching a bit. Daniel followed her out of the canteen, across the grounds, and around the girls’ dorms.

“Uh, Daisy, where exactly are we going?”

Daisy grinned. “Ever been on the roof, Sousa?”

Sousa looked up at the top of the building. “Are we allowed up there?”

Daisy furrowed her brows, responding with a noncommittal hum. Did he not want to go up there?

“To master the art of avoidance, you must be unpredictable. Go where no one will find you. Dance along the edge of expectations,” Daisy exclaimed dramatically. “That’s why it’s called avoi-dance. We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Daniel laughed, eyes smiling. “Ladies first,” He offered.

Daisy clambered onto the iron fire escape, waiting for Daniel on the first landing and giving him a hand. They started up the stairs together, wind blowing softly over their faces.

“So,” Daisy started when they reached the top, “This is it.”

Daniel watched as Daisy made a grand gesture, crouching down near an outlet to plug in the lights.

Putting on her best realtor voice, Daisy led Daniel around the space.

“In this corner we have a lovely, absolutely gorgeous three-hundred-sixty degree view of campus. Look! There are students in their natural habitat!

“And over here, we have a wonderful assortment of plants, both alive and barely clinging to life, just like most of the human inhabitants of the building!”

Daniel chuckled, nodding sagely. “Now, let’s talk money. What is the price per square foot, and how much are you suggesting as a down payment?”

Daisy’s grin faltered, not sure exactly what Sousa was talking about. Daniel’s smile grew wider at the slightly confused, completely adorable look on her face.

“Were you planning on getting work done?” Daniel asked.

Daisy shrugged, setting her backpack down and leaning against the low wall surrounding the edge of the roof. He joined her, sitting with one leg out and the other bent at his knee.

“It won’t take me long to finish this,” Daisy said, opening her laptop.

Daniel watched on as Daisy coded, taking mental notes of how her fingers glided over the keys, typing at a speed he could barely comprehend. She bit her bottom lip in concentration, pausing for a moment to assess her work, then continuing to circumvent the little red error messages that appeared at the top of her screen.

“How do you know what all that means?” Daniel asked. Daisy stopped typing for a moment to look over at him, tilting her head a bit.

“I guess I just picked it up pretty quick. When I was still living in my van, before Coulson found me, I had to make money somehow, so I started building codes and programs for people who needed it. They were definitely shady, and it got me into a couple tough spots, but I could always just move my van away, drive somewhere else.”

Daniel didn’t press for more information. Daisy seemed not to want to talk about it, as she turned back to her computer and let her hair fall into her face. A few minutes later, she pressed enter, and threw her hands up.

“Yes! Finally!”

Daniel peeked at her screen. Instead of a red error message, there was a small check at the top of her screen.

“So what exactly did you just do with the numbers and the symbol things?”

Daisy laughed lightly. “Sometimes SHIELD creates programs specifically for Academy students to hack into, so we can practice getting around firewalls and beating different layers of protection. At the end is usually some redacted file or just a blank document. Sometimes the Professors let the advanced students hack into companies and emails if they need help. It gives us ‘a wide range of practical experience.’”

Daniel scrunched his eyebrows, checking his watch. “So does it normally only take you fifteen minutes to complete assignments like this?”

Daisy smirked, “I don’t mean to brag, but yes. Most kids in my class can do it in forty-five, but I like to challenge myself.”

Daniel’s jaw dropped, amazed. “Wow. So in a couple years I’ll be doing that? I can keep up with CS 1, but that is…” He trailed off, not sure exactly how to describe it.

Daisy nodded, “It takes awhile to get used to, to understand. It’s like learning any other language, it helps if you start young, and I practically depended on coding for survival when I was in my teens. It gave me a huge leg up.”

Daniel let his gaze wander over Daisy’s face. She had a lot more to her than meets the eye. He looked into her eyes, finding her already staring at him, an intent look on her face. She opened her mouth to say somethi—

Briiiiiiiiiiing.

The bell cut her off. Daisy looked away quickly, cheeks tinted pink. Daniel made no move to get up, and neither did Daisy. They waited until it was over to speak again.

“I guess we should probably get going?”

Daisy agreed, standing up and reaching out a hand for Sousa to take. They walked back to campus together, parting ways to get to their classes.

Daisy passed by May’s room on her way to Physics, walking quickly and staring straight ahead.

“Daisy!”

Daisy stopped, walking backwards to stand in the open door of May’s classroom. No one was there but May.

Daisy slowly approached May down the rows of desks, smiling rather guiltily.

“Hey, May! How are you?” Daisy asked, voice an octave higher than normal. May had on her ‘Mom Face’, as Daisy called it, eyebrows slightly raised and lips pursed in a straight line.

“You know, leather jackets look great on you!” Daisy tried, picking at her nails, unable to maintain eye-contact without her chest constricting. May stayed silent.

Daisy dropped the cheery façade, sighing. This would get her nowhere.

“I’m sorry. I had a rough night and slept through my alarm. If it makes you feel better, I also missed my first three periods,” Daisy rushed out, exhaling sharply.

May sat back onto her desk, patting the space beside her.

“Call me next time,” May said, voice soft. “Asking for help isn’t weak, Daisy, and I don’t know how to help if you don’t tell me. I don’t have a class next period.”

Daisy nodded, a slight sting in her eyes. May continued, “You’ve had a rough year. I get it. But Daisy, running from those you love, who love you? It doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve tried. The only thing that will work is facing your fears head-on, and keep running at them until eventually they’re powerless. You need closure.”

Daisy rested her head on May’s shoulder, unable to look her in the eye.

“I’m sorry, May,” Daisy apologized, voice small.

May wrapped an arm around her in a side hug.

“You don’t need to apologize. Let’s go work out some problems, my way.”

In the canteen, Jemma and Fitz sat in their usual spot by the back windows, both munching on spaghetti and rolls.

“Fitz! Tell me you didn’t!”

Fitz looked up from where he was tinkering with a piece of tech that looked suspiciously like an ICER with a small cloaking device attached to the side.

“I didn’t,” He replied. He kept tinkering with the small gun until it made a loud pop! and shocked him.

“Ouch!” Fitz winced, promptly dropping the modified ICER on the table, empty cartridge bouncing onto the floor. He bent to pick it up, reassembling the tech and taking another bite of pasta.

“Have you figured out the problem?” Jemma asked.

Fitz rolled his eyes. “It’s not a problem, Jemma, it’s just that I, uh, I can’t get the…” Fitz paused, waggling his hands in the air as if he was grasping for the right word.

“The concentration? Weight? Bullets?” Jemma supplied.

“The bullets work! Non-lethal, heavy stopping power, break up under the subcutaneous tissue. Same ones from when we were working on The Bus. No, it’s the, um, the safety. It keeps going off without my permission,” Fitz finished.

Jemma took a bite of her roll. “Are you using one-hundred nano-liters of dendrotoxin like I suggested?”

Fitz nodded. “That’s in the bullets. This is just the design. I can’t figure out the balance, with the addition of cloaking, it’s thrown my whole design off.”

“Maybe Daisy has an idea? She’s listened to us ramble on for years, she’s actually used them.”

Fitz and Jemma looked around for Daisy. It was 6, dinner started at 5, and they always ate together.

“Usually she’s here by now,” Jemma frowned. The three of them had fallen into a comfortable routine, meeting at lunch and dinner and making plans to study after.

“There’s that guy she’s been hanging out with, er,” Fitz paused, snapping his fingers, “Sousa! Maybe he knows something,” Fitz pointed to where Sousa was eating a plate of chicken and rice near the entrance to the canteen.

“Are you going to go talk to him?”

Fitz looked back at Daniel, considering his options. On one hand, he had never talked to the guy. What if he said something wrong and made a bad first impression? On the other hand, Fitz needed to make sure Daisy was okay. They had a routine they had agreed to stick to, and if she was off routine, it meant something was wrong.

“Let’s go together,” Fitz half-suggested, half-asked.

Jemma nodded, getting up and walking with Fitz across the cafeteria to stand in front of Daniel.

“Hello,” Jemma started, “Have you seen Daisy lately? We’ve noticed the two of you together recently.”

Fitz stood slightly behind Jemma, fingers weaving themselves together.

Daniel took in the two of them, noticing Jemma’s thumb swiping nervously across her palm.

“Would you like to sit down?” Daniel offered.

“No, thank you, we’d really just like to find Daisy,” Fitz rushed out, looking slightly above Daniel’s eyes as he talked.

Daniel nodded. “Are you guys Fitzsimmons? Daisy talks about you a lot, I’m glad to finally meet you. But to answer your question, I haven’t seen her since third period. Is something wrong?”

Jemma sighed. “She had a bad nightmare last night, but when I left she said she was fine. I went to check on her this morning but she didn’t answer, I assumed she was out for a run.”

Daniel furrowed his brows. Daisy hadn’t mentioned a nightmare. “Is that why she was missing her morning classes?”

“She’s sleep deprived and has a tendency to entirely abandon routines if she doesn’t get off on the right foot. I bet she’s with May,” Jemma said, looking to Fitz for confirmation.

Fitz just nodded, staring at Jemma.

“Great,” Jemma clapped her hands, “Should we go find her?”

It took Daniel a moment to realize the question was directed at him. “Oh, uh, yes, sure,” He stammered, getting up and jogging a bit to catch up to Fitz and Jemma.

“Oof!” Daisy exclaimed. She and May had been sparring for the past couple hours. Hours. Daisy was absolutely exhausted. May was feeling fine.

From the mat, Daisy reached a hand up so May could pull her up. Instead of getting up, though, Daisy pulled hard, flipping May over. May rolled rather chunkily, ending in a position that was half-squatting, half-sitting.

Maybe she was a little more tired than she let on.

“Good one. Next time, roll with the flip, too. If your attacker is faster than you, you could’ve just given them a free shot.”

Daisy got up slowly, dusting herself off and extending a hand out to May.

“Truce?”

May nodded. Then Daisy’s world spun, and she was flat on her back.

“Ughh. I deserved that,” Daisy panted.

May smirked, staying on the floor with Daisy.

“Feel any better?”

Daisy shrugged. “I’ll at least sleep hard,” She said, still catching her breath.

“There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Daisy lifted her head off the mat to see Jemma and Fitz walking into the gym. Daniel was behind them.

Daisy sat fully up, allowing Jemma to help her to her feet.

“Sorry guys. I should have called,” Daisy grimaced.

Fitz shrugged, “It’s okay, Dais, we got Daniel to, er, tag along with us. He was a good ‘replacement you’ for a while.”

Daisy looked over to Daniel, who was trying to hide a blush by clearing his throat and looking anywhere but Daisy.

Oh, right. She was wearing nothing but a sports bra and spandex training shorts.

Daisy walked over to the edge of the mat, stretching out her arms and grabbing her SHIELD sweatshirt, tugging it on.

“Thank you, guys, I appreciate the concern,” Daisy checked her watch, “You already ate dinner?”

Jemma and Fitz nodded.

“Okay, I’ll grab something with May and see you at the dorms?”

Fitz gave her a thumbs up and left, Jemma right behind him. May grabbed her water bottle, letting Daisy know that she’d be in the canteen.

“And then there were two,” Daisy laughed nervously, threading her fingers together and shifting from side to side.

Daniel smiled, “And then there were two.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over them.

“Thanks for hanging out with me this morning. You didn’t have to,” Daisy blurted.

Daniel shrugged, frowning, “I wanted to.”

Daisy turned away from Daniel, face heating up. He wanted to hang out with her?

Daisy bent to grab her gym bag. When she turned back around, Daniel was waiting for her.

“You can tell me, you know, if you’re having a rough go of it. I won’t judge,” He stated, calm and collected.

Daisy nodded, unsure how to respond. She rose up onto her tiptoes and rocked back, once, twice, three times before letting out a slow exhale.

“Have you eaten dinner?” She asked.

“Sorta. I was about to eat before I left with Fitz and Simmons,” He said.

“Well, you’re welcome to eat with me and May,” Daisy offered.

Daniel grinned.

“I’ll take your bag.”

They arrived a number of minutes later at the canteen, Daisy offering to take her bag every couple minutes and Daniel readjusting the black duffel on his shoulder, refusing.

May thought they were exceptionally cute.

“Took you long enough,” The short woman said, amusement lacing her words.

Daisy plopped into a seat before Daniel could pull one out.

“I’m gonna go get some grub, I’ll leave you ladies to it,” Daniel announced.

May raised an eyebrow at Daisy, whose face promptly went pink.

“He’s a dork,” She said, “He was awed by my CS homework.”

“Was it the homework, or was it you?”

May shot Daisy a very pointed look, to which Daisy rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.”

“He’s very square” May observed, watching him over Daisy’s shoulder.

Daniel came up behind her, holding a plate with a cinnamon raisin bagel in one hand and a plate of chicken and rice in the other.

“I didn’t know what else you’d like, but I felt bad for not grabbing you anything.”

May hid a laugh by clearing her throat. Daisy reached out to accept the bagel, avoiding eye contact with May.

After dinner, back at the dorm, Jemma and Daisy were sprawled out on Daisy’s bed. Jemma held her flashcards in her hand, quizzing herself while Daisy talked.

“May says I need ‘closure’, whatever that means. I thought I had closure. I went to his funeral. I hugged his sister!”

Jemma set her cards down, accepting that she wasn’t going to get any more studying done.

“But you don’t know what happened. You were being controlled, you weren’t here. Daisy, you’ve always needed answers. You’ve never been able to leave a problem alone if you didn’t have the full story.”

Daisy sighed. Jemma was right.

“Well… On to happier subjects. Tell me about the new marine bio elective. How’s that going?”

Daisy smiled softly as Jemma’s face lit up and her hands came up to flap excitedly. Jemma went off on several different tangents about the professor’s experiences as a wildlife photographer and the different coral reefs they were studying in class. Daisy tried to listen, really, she did, but she found herself stuck in her head, responding with passive hums and ‘yeah’s.

Eventually, Jemma seemed to run out of steam, her smile still wide and face slightly flushed from how she had been ranting about climate change’s effects on the world’s reefs.

“It’s 10. I’m going to head up to bed.”

Daisy nodded. She had a plan.

She walked with Jemma back down the hall to her room, bidding her a good night. Daisy got back to her room, breathing in the quiet, then settled onto her rug against her bed, laptop sat in front of her. Lines of code danced on the screen, the light from the computer highlighting her face.

“You have to do this. You need closure,” Daisy murmured.

Daisy sat up, stretching. She changed positions several times, finally landing upside down on her bed. She craned her neck to read her clock, 11:23. Last chance to turn back, you know the consequences. You could get kicked out of SHIELD. They won’t trust you anymore.

Daisy pressed enter.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Liam

Rio: I still can’t believe all that mess just happened

Rio: I swear to God my friends aren’t usually that trash like… what the fuck

Liam: it was unbelievable, are you ok

Rio: Like not at all but there’s nothing you can do

Rio: and you’ve already done loads more than I could ask, so don’t worry

Rio: This has really blindsided me, I’d never have expected this from her

Liam: sometimes you don’t know people how you think you do, or you did but they change on you into somebody else

Rio: So true

Rio: I never knew her, clearly

Rio: and she didn’t know me if she thought I was ever going to take her side over my family, was that the plan?

Rio: I genuinely do not get why she did this, tbh

Liam: she probably wasn’t planning further ahead than getting your other mate to take her side, she did things without thinking when I knew her

Rio: Who in their right mind would take her side

Rio: even without the full story

Liam: I dunno, I could be looking at it wrong and what she wanted was for all this to come out

Rio: Now I’m just worried there’s something seriously wrong with her

Rio: it’s not normal, no shit but

Rio: there has to be something going on to drive her to this, right?

Liam: if it’s a cry for help, getting this many other people involved and doing it tonight is a weird twist

Rio: It’s fucked, on so many levels I can’t even get into

Rio: Poor Edie

Rio: Is she mad at me now?

Liam: you don’t have to worry about Edie, she saw what Lex was like before this, she’s a good judge of who people are underneath whatever they put across

Rio: at least one of us is

Rio: I just don’t want her thinking I was out to ruin her night or make it about me and my friends’ bullshit

Rio: I was trying to do the opposite, draw a bigger crowd, you know

Liam: she understands where you were coming from, and it’s like you said, the two of us are in a bubble, I’m not gonna let anything ruin her night or switch up what it’s about

Rio: I’m really glad

Rio: At least that good still came from tonight

Rio: she doesn’t need to feel involved with all this Lexie business, it’s definitely about me, not Edie and you, I can see that now

Liam: I’d be a dick when you’re still going through it if I said I was buzzing we’re both out of it but I was questioning when it started if it was a bit about me, and her, I dunno what I could or would do if Lexie was, like, in love with me or something

Rio: But perfectly valid, this is a shit show

Rio: You don’t need to worry about her, she’s not going to come anywhere near me or mine ever again

Rio: it’s a betrayal beyond what she said in the text, and she knows that

Liam: she don’t worry me, and you don’t have to worry about anything but what she’s trying to involve you in

Rio: Oh we’re done

Rio: now I know she can’t fuck with me any more

Liam: loads of good came out of tonight then

Rio: I suppose that’s true

Rio: it doesn’t feel like that right now but hey

Liam: being done with her shite is gonna feel better in the long run

Rio: Sorry, I am not trying to dump this on you

Rio: that’s how I got here

Liam: Edie’s not mad at you but she would be at me if I just dipped on her sister in the middle of this

Rio: I appreciate that you took the time to do the digging

Rio: can I ask how you went about it?

Liam: not if you’re asking bc you wanna do more on her, that’s not being done or gonna make you feel better

Rio: Oh, no, it’s not about her

Rio: It’s for personal reasons

Liam: if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re gonna end up alerting the person you’re looking into before you find out what you wanna know

Rio: and it’s not something you can teach me?

Rio: I’m not a totally technophobic 👵 I swear

Liam: I don’t even know what you’re looking for

Rio: If Lexie had done more to me, behind the scenes, how could I find out if it was her

Liam: you’d know bc she can’t cover her tracks, it was easy for me to find the things I did

Rio: you don’t think she could keep it up then

Rio: yeah, that’s probably true

Liam: I don’t know, maybe if she wanted this to blow up as fast as it did and didn’t want something else to

Rio: She’s shot herself in the foot if it was her

Rio: anyway

Rio: I still feel bad, I should make it up to Edie

Liam: we could be giving her too much credit or not enough

Liam: Edie meanwhile deserves full credit for how the show went

Rio: I’m going to take her on an actual decent night out

Rio: you’re invited too, of course

Liam: thanks, if she wants me there, I’ll be there

Rio: We could go [somewhere bouj and your vibe] next weekend

Liam: where 😏

Liam: now I’ve searched it, yeah, alright, she’ll feel 👑 going there

Rio: Right?

Rio: I know it was technically your birthday but a girl can never feel like a 👑 too much

Rio: I’ll take her shopping first too but you don’t have to come to that bit, don’t worry 😉

Liam: wouldn’t be the first time I’ve waited outside a fitting room with a bag or the extra clothes they won’t let you take in

Rio: Bless

Rio: sisters are good training for girlfriends, for sure

Rio: I went out with a guy who had like all brothers and he was hopeless

Liam: my ma’d claim it’s more to do with her, however much of me is well behaved

Rio: well of course, that goes without saying

Rio: you aren’t a mummy’s boy type though, are you? 🤴

Rio: ‘cause I hadn’t even thought to warn her about that possibility yet

Liam: you’re too late with any warnings now

Rio: god, don’t say that, sounds so 😬 like 😂

Liam: if she calls me a mammy’s boy when you ask her, I’ll see myself out, like

Rio: I highly doubt she’ll say anything negative about you

Liam: your ma didn’t order me out when I met her, but you can give me a clue if she was just being polite, yeah

Rio: She was as surprised as the rest of us

Rio: but she’s pretty chill, and you aren’t a serial killer, so you’re good on that one

Liam: bit soon to crack a joke at Lexie’s expense or yours about how we don’t all get caught doing what we shouldn’t

Rio: 😏

Rio: if my sister goes missing, I think I’ll be able to put 2x2 together on that one, babe

Liam: the boyfriend did it every time, no technological skill required to solve the case, only luminol and an awareness of toxic masculinity

Rio: no wonder my ma liked you if you came out with all that

Rio: that’s just her energy

Liam: liked could be a bit strong but I’ll work on it, I get that everyone’s not gonna be celebrating as hard as mine is

Rio: that’s so cute 😫

Rio: it’s sweet, no one’s hating now

Liam: it’s the looking older thing, putting me at a disadvantage one time, but she knows I’m not 24 or something crazy now

Rio: No offence, but it could be a lot worse

Rio: she’s gone around with some strange people 🥴😷

Rio: and yeah, you aren’t that much older, really, so along with what you clearly have in common

Rio: I see it

Liam: not gonna get offended you think I’m normal, it’s a massive asset when I’m going round being a huge criminal, clearly

Rio: Ha, is it

Rio: stop with your jokes I’m tryna be sincere 😅

Liam: stop being sincere, you’ve had a fucked up night and if you don’t 😂 you’ll be 😭 is the cliche

Rio: God, too real

Rio: How tragic of me

Liam: nobody’ll hear it from me 😂 or 😭

Rio: Cheers, like

Rio: I’ll go get another drink and toast being free/drown my sorrows

Liam: I’d offer but you could be 3 drinks in while I’m still waiting to be served

Rio: I look older too 💁‍♀️

Liam: 🥂

Rio: I’d offer to get you guys some but I can’t 👀 yous and I’m sure you’re gonna go do something better now

Liam: I'll think of something to put the spotlight back on Edie and keep her feeling special until it's your turn

Rio: 🥰

Rio: Good job

Liam: she could teach you how to find out if Lexie did mess with you at all before, instead of giving a stranger like me access to your devices

Rio: Ah, I don’t wanna worry her

Rio: I’ll just forget about it, it’s no big

Liam: is it that worrying

Rio: Maybe I’m just over-protective, I’m sure that’s what she’d say

Liam: yeah, honestly, but I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing

Rio: She’ll thank me when she’s not a crazy teen

Liam: probably true

Rio: It sounds like wishful thinking, I know

Rio: but I’ve been there

Liam: wishful thinking you ain’t a crazy teen no more

Rio: Charming! 😂

Liam: not a 👵 you wanted me to know

Rio: If I am you are, and you want me to know you’re not too old for her soooo 🤫

Liam: you already admitted it could be loads worse

Rio: You aren’t some sleazy ‘producer’ who pretends you don’t know how old she really is

Rio: or some wannabe rockstar

Liam: unwishful thinking or did it happen

Rio: She’s not stupid, thank God

Rio: just nightmare scenarios that would be way more worrying if she remotely was

Liam: it’s that you’ve been afraid to come to her shows before now then

Rio: Pretty much

Rio: and idk

Rio: contrary to how it seems, I try to let them have their own things

Liam: I get your motives

Rio: If she wanted me there, she’d ask, wouldn’t she?

Liam: if it’s that simple between you two

Rio: Simple ain’t the word

Liam: which sounds like her coming out with what she do or don’t want ain’t likely

Rio: She’s been vocal about what she doesn’t want but I can’t do that for her, that’s the problem

Liam: confrontation where you don’t expect anything to change is easier than getting vulnerable over something you could have, or wish you could, but dunno if you’ll get

Liam: her music matters to her, but you playing along and 👏 bc you’re her big sister isn’t enough

Rio: I know it does, doesn’t she know that

Liam: she thinks you don’t take it serious

Rio: That’s not true

Liam: to her it is or she wouldn’t have told me and I wouldn’t be telling you

Rio: I don’t know why I’ve said any of this to you

Liam: there’s some anonymity as you don’t know me, but I’m kinda invested so you’re not just venting to someone who isn’t

Rio: Honestly, forget about it

Rio: I can talk to my own sister when I need to, we’re fine

Liam: yeah, but you can let me help too

Rio: What can you do about it?

Liam: you’re here bc I invited you

Rio: She could’ve said no

Liam: and she didn’t, she said it was a good idea

Rio: yeah

Rio: me and Edie are fine

Rio: despite any efforts from ex-friends or otherwise

Liam: nobody’s crediting Lexie to that level

Rio: what are you saying, Liam?

Rio: if there’s a problem you know about, then just say

Liam: if it was about her it’d be over, it’s you saying it ain’t simple between you and Edie, I’m not saying anything

Rio: It never is, is it

Rio: were things simple with your sister?

Liam: yeah, a terminal illness is gonna make things pretty simple, like

Rio: Oh, I would’ve imagined the opposite

Liam: not for a relationship dynamic, she gets what she wants

Rio: I guess so

Rio: well, obviously, it can’t work like that long-term, sorry to be blunt

Rio: but I’m not telling you anything you don’t know

Liam: I wasn’t telling you to follow the example of me and my sister

Rio: I know

Rio: Some things can’t be fixed, that’s the truth

Liam: don’t mean you throw round a statement like that and stop trying to

Rio: All I do is try

Rio: you don’t know

Liam: I know Edie’s worth the effort

Rio: and so do I

Liam: you’ve got time and loads of chances to keep on trying is the truth

Rio: Look, it’s not a secret I’m dating our cousin, so I know you know that

Rio: it’s also not a secret that plenty of people, Edie being one of them, are not fans of that

Rio: I can’t change any of that, that’s something we’re all going to have to live with

Liam: there’s stuff you can change though that’d make things better than they are

Rio: I’m not doing anything else wrong

Rio: in her eyes, anyway

Rio: that’s where the problem starts and stops

Liam: if you say so

Rio: You’ve known her five minutes

Rio: I really don’t need a lecture when I’ve known her her whole life

Liam: I wouldn’t keep it this vague if I was putting you in your place instead of trying to spare your feelings

Rio: Spare my feelings? Like she hasn’t said it all a million times worse? 😂

Rio: worry about what you know about her after-all, but thanks

Liam: I’ve got no worries about her

Rio: ‘course not

Rio: look, I sincerely mean drop it

Rio: it’s been an intense night and a weird one on my end, let’s act like we left it there, yeah

Liam: you not wanting my help don’t mean I’m retracting the offer, it’s still there

Rio: You’re dating her, you don’t need to impress me, like

Liam: it’s about her, not you

Rio: You don’t reckon she’s better off without me then

Liam: I wouldn’t admit to it, isolating someone from their family and mates is a huge red flag

Rio: 😏 Encouraging as ever that you just bring that shit up in lieu of nothing

Liam: you brought it up

Rio: no I didn’t

Liam: when you asked me if I think she’d be better off without you

Rio: that’s hardly accusing you of being a psycho abuser

Liam: it’d be a toxic thought for me to have, especially bc I’ve not known her long enough for you

Rio: you haven’t known her long enough to have a go at me on the matter, that’s what I meant by that

Liam: I’m not having a go, I’m having a convo you started and I think is worth keeping going, for Edie’s sake

Rio: I’m not mad at you

Rio: so agreed

Liam: she’s already helped me loads with shite I’m struggling with, I wanna help her too, if I can

Rio: that’s nice

Rio: genuinely

Rio: you clearly care, I don’t have to worry about that

Liam: we did just meet but everyone’s gotta start somewhere

Rio: of course

Rio: you know people usually don’t go this fast though, I’ve not just imagined that up

Rio: most lads ‘refuse to put a label on it’

Liam: most lads think they’ve got as much time as they want to fuck about, my brain’s not wired for wasting it

Rio: I get that

Rio: but you don’t have to skip ahead, miss the fun parts, you know

Rio: like, you don’t feel forced, right

Liam: what do you think she’s rushing me into or vice versa

Rio: I know our experiences shape us, and we have no control over that, trust me, I do

Rio: but idk, it’d make me sad to think you end up doing things you didn’t actually want to, or miss out on the little things, for the sake of fitting it all in, in pursuit of those milestones

Rio: you know

Rio: neither of you deserves that

Liam: you’ve described the opposite of what we’re both doing, it’d be funny if I’d never done any of it before or I was pretending to you I hadn’t, but I’m not with her

Liam: I want it to be different and she knows it is

Rio: If that’s what you both want

Rio: then that’s all good with me

Liam: after that’s what Lexie did, I fully expected Edie to want me to do stuff I wasn’t down to, but that was before I really knew her

Rio: What did Lexie do?

Liam: you know how she can be, it was intense, and asking too much of me

Rio: that’s fucked up of her

Rio: are you okay, did you tell anybody?

Liam: what would I have said, she fancies me too hard, I had bigger things going on, it barely registered until I said about it to Edie and she was upset for me

Rio: She shouldn’t have gone out with you

Rio: even if she thought she was doing a nice thing, she clearly wasn’t mature enough to even attempt to go about it in a good way

Liam: I shouldn’t have agreed to it, she wasn’t forcing that bit, it was on me

Rio: You were grieving, bad decisions are expected

Liam: nobody was mature enough back then, it was ages ago

Rio: so young

Liam: too late now to use the rushing things chat on her

Rio: I don’t think she’s been an evil bitch the whole time

Rio: she got it wrong back then

Rio: but this time she’s crossed a line

Liam: and got caught out for it

Rio: yep

Rio: oh well, at least it’s over

Rio: even if I never work out what I did to make her do that

Liam: it’s clearly a her thing, whatever her damage is, not your fault somehow you could point at and say yeah there’s what I did

Rio: yeah

Rio: I think I’d rather I could know, what it was about

Rio: that over thinking she did it just ‘cos

Liam: I could look again, see if there’s more to find, but it ain’t gonna be a folder called why

Rio: ha

Rio: nah, you’re alright

Rio: I can move on without it

Liam: drowning your sorrows or doing a cheers, wasn’t it

Rio: 🥂

Liam: I can see you

Liam: but we're gonna head off, direct from your sister is she already feels high

Liam: I'll pick her up if you wanna 👋 [and do pick her up before Rio can answer lol]

Rio: I saw your ma commented, are you going home?

Liam: not straight back

Rio: okay, well have fun

Liam: and you

Rio: 🧡🧡

Rio: and tell her I’m sorry, yeah?

Rio: and that she was really good

Liam: yeah, I'll let her know

Rio: thanks, Liam

Liam: she'll wanna hear it

Rio: I hope so

Liam: and about [wherever they are going on this double date] too

Rio: convince her if not

Rio: she’ll 🧡 it when she gets there

Liam: both of us getting to dress up will have her 😁

Rio: absolutely

Rio: I’ve not completely forgotten who she is, like

Liam: I was hyping up your plan not calling you out as being blackout drunk this fast

Rio: you know what I mean

Rio: blackout is now the mood but hey

Liam: don’t let Lexie get to you

Rio: I’ll do my best 🙃

[carnistcervine]

Haunting AU

Hey everyone, it’s ya gurl Carnist with another AU that she came up with instead of sleeping.

*The Avatar is an ancient spirit amalgamate that is reborn into a new mortal body every time it's current one dies.

*However, since the attack on the Air Temples 100 years ago, no one has encountered any trace of the legendary being.

*It is with this knowledge that Ozai banishes his gravely injured son, sending him on a quest to find the Avatar.

*So, a freshly burned Zuko is send off with his uncle and a motley crew with a half-trained medic.

*At first Zuko's fever fueled nightmares are centered purely around the agni kai and his father burning his face away.

*However, it's not too long before the dreams evolve. The dark figure that looms over Zuko changes in shape, instead of burning him, it gently cups his chin.

*The figure is not Ozai, no, it looks barely anything like his father, it's hair is much too white, and the beard is too large.

*It is gentle with him, but he finds himself afraid anyway. Zuko eventually finds the strength to push away from the figure and run, but he finds that he's surrounded by familiar, yet unfamiliar figures.

*They loom around him, closing in on him, chanting his name.

*Thankfully when he wakes up, he's safely by his Uncle's side.

*By what is considered a miracle of Agni himself, Zuko recovers from his injury. The only reminder being the scar that now mars his face.

*Once he's well enough to stand, he demands to search the air temples.

*Iroh tries to get him to rest, as the old man knows Zuko will never find the Avatar, and needs this boy to take this time to rest and recover. But Zuko is too stubborn to listen. So Iroh assists the boy in getting around until he's well enough to walk on his own again.

*There is a heaviness in the temples that Zuko cannot ignore.

*He tries to anyway, leaving as soon as he's able to see the Avatar isn't around.

*He pushes himself to get back to firebending as soon as possible.

*Much to his dismay, he's developed pyrophobia. His terror over his own element drives him up a wall. Iroh is patient with him, but Zuko can't stand his lack of progress and nearly re-traumatizes himself trying to force himself to get over it.

*The Iron Slug roams from place to place as Zuko runs his crew(and himself) ragged tracking down every hint of the Avatar.

*He pours over any information on the Avatar or Air Nomads to find any info he use to locate the Avatar.

*He's absolutely obsessed determined.

*It's been three years, his crew have grown resentful of him, and his Uncle just keeps trying his best in the hopes that he can help his nephew.

*One fateful day, he spies a strange light while sailing through the south.

*"It must be the Avatar." He tells himself.

*His Uncle however, believes it to be nothing more than the southern lights and encourages him to get some rest, maybe drink some calming tea.

*Zuko persists and tracks the lights down to a small Water Tribe village.

*The village is nothing more than women and young children.

*Well, there are two slightly notable exceptions, a teenage boy and girl who hold the most vicious, venomous gaze towards Zuko.

*He simply brushes them off as he talks to the village's leader.

*The woman holds a firm glare at him, telling him that his people have already taken the last of the waterbenders, that their village has /nothing/ left.

*Zuko remarks that he's not interested in waterbenders, or warriors, or anything of the like. He's looking for the Avatar or information on the Avatar.

*The woman makes an odd expression, and tells him that the Avatar has been gone for a hundred years.

*Zuko knows that the woman is hiding something and threatens her at flamepoint, when suddenly his target comes out of hiding.

*A small boy, eyes burning with the purest light comes in from seemingly out of nowhere.

*The Avatar offers himself up if Zuko leaves the village alone.

*Zuko accepts these terms.

*He doesn't see the strange, pitying looks the villagers give him as he leaves.

*Zuko tells his men to lock up the Avatar, and they just look at each other, only opting to move when he yells at them to quit dawdling.

*Uncle looks very concerned and asks Zuko if he's feeling alright, Zuko says that his journey is finally over and he can finally go home, he's never been better.

*Iroh looks even more concerned at this, but Zuko brushes him off to go to his room.

*He's not surprised when he finds the Avatar sitting on his bed, head tilted like a curious puppy.

*Zuko's not really surprised that the Avatar has essentially been allowed to roam loose on his ship, his crew are a bunch of useless good-for-nothings and he has to do /everything/.

*The Avatar doesn't even so much as flinch as he approaches him, but the second he's on the stupid arrow head, he's all the way across the room.

*Like he teleported or something.

*Zuko pinches his nose. He should have known that catching and containing a spirit would be hard.

*The Avatar offers a friendly smile and calls himself Aang, he extends an offer of friendship to Zuko, but Zuko turns the spirit down.

*Aang frowns, glumly saying that he won't play along with Zuko's game if he doesn't wanna be friends.

*Zuko angrily yells that none of this is a game, when two new voices catch his attention.

*It's the Water Tribe teens from before.

*They're pretty pissed at him, ranting at him about how terrible he and his country are.

*Zuko yells and argues back until he's as blue in the face as their clothes.

*Eventually, he just yells at them to fuck off, and just like that, they're gone.

-Now for the other side of things-

*Iroh's already tired when Zuko goes on an impassioned rant about the southern lights. Like sure, they're very beautiful, but they've been down this road before.

*The Avatar is GONE. If they go and check out the lights, they won't find anything.

*They end up coming upon a tiny village, a remnant of the once might SWT. Iroh can barely bring himself to look at the place, seeing what his country has done to these innocent people hurts him deeply. But he needs to keep an eye on Zuko and make sure he doesn't get himself hurt.

*Iroh notes that the only people in the village are grown women and small children, and no one else.

*Iroh and the crew are very surprised at how easily Zuko agrees to leave the village.

*That surprise turns to muted horror when Zuko tells his crew to take the Avatar below deck.

*They want to ask Zuko exactly who he's referring to, as no one was taken aboard the ship, but Zuko is quick to get angry and yells at his crew to get on it.

*Not looking to get yelled at some more by the clearly agitated Zuko, the crew disappear below deck. They opt to gossip in the engine room like they usually do when Zuko is behaving strangely.

*Iroh tries to ask his nephew if he's feeling alright. He worries that some of their food might have gone bad or that the boy had caught something.

*Before Iroh can press further, or check for fever, Zuko disappears below deck to go to his room. He specifically requests that no one disturb him.

*Iroh hopes that Zuko is going to finally lie down and get some rest. He clearly needs it.

*The crew have grown used to tuning out Zuko's yelling, so they don't bat an eye at the shouting match coming from his quarters.

-Basically, Zuko is being haunted/possessed. The Avatar is pretty much a person that's possessed by a spirit amalgamate. Zuko is the Avatar.

*Aang is one of Zuko's past lives that's reaching out to him.

*Katara and Sokka are ghosts from the SWT that came to torment Zuko because they’re mad about being dead.

*Aang gets Katara and Sokka to slowly mellow out and chill a bit, and be a bit nicer to Zuko.

*Aang also convinces Zuko to go to all sorts of places in an effort to get him to have fun.

*He convinces him to visit Kyoshi, where Zuko is assaulted by the ghosts of the Kyoshi Warriors.

*When he inevitably gets captured by the locals after getting beaten and tied up by ghosts, Iroh has to come in and rescue his nephew.

*In fact, quite a few scenarios end up like this, where Aang somehow convinces Zuko to do something or go somewhere and Zuko ends up knee deep in ghost shenanigans, meanwhile Iroh's blood pressure could kill a komodorhino.

*Zuko has always been a bit off, but lately his strange behavior has taken a frightening turn. As no one else can see the ghosts(except Iroh, on few occasions) the crew go from near mutinous to deeply worried over Zuko and his mental state.

*Once they learn the truth of his scar, they want to go and kill Ozai themselves.

*A few times the Iroh Slug will dock at a port and a mysterious entity will be spotted. At first it's assumed to be a glow-eyed jiang-shi, only to be later identified as the lost Avatar.

*During these times, Zuko is overtaken by the Avatar Spirit and takes on one of his past live's appearances. Usually Aang's. He'll move in an unnatural manor, like something that isn't used to controlling a human body, or some limp, corpse being.

*It's not until Iroh realizes that he hears other distinct voices coming from Zuko's room, with no evidence of anyone coming in or out, that his nephew is being haunted.

*Slowly but surely, Aang drags Zuko northward so that they can "teach Katara waterbending". *wink wonk*

*It's only after they end up at the North Pole, fighting off waterbenders that Zuko goes into the Avatar state in front of his crew and they realize that /he's/ the Avatar.

*But the NWT also know that Zuko is the Avatar and they're like: 👀 so Zuko's crew is gonna have hell keeping custody of him.

*Especially when the ghosts keep trying to drag him away too.

*Speaking of ghosts, Yue is fairly ghost-like in appearance, with her pale brown skin, supernatural blue eyes, and snow white hair, but very decidedly physical and alive.

*But she is haunted/possessed by the Tui, and can empathize with Zuko on the being harassed by ghosts or possessing spirits.

*I'm still deciding on whether Toph should be a ghost or someone pretending to be a ghost.

*On the one hand: Ghost!Toph who kicks just as much ass and causes even more trouble than normal Toph, and haunted the shit out of the underground earthbending ring before she decided that harassing Zuko would be more fun. On the other: Little blind girl who dresses up as a spooky spirit and beats everyone's ass teaming up with a ex-prince who's possessed by an evergrowing, all powerful spirit amalgamation and constantly haunted by a pair of Water Tribe ghosts.

*It does eventually get back to Hakoda that the spirits of his children are haunting the Avatar and he just:  👁👄👁

[brittie-frog]

Riverdale 5x10

I'm really bored so I'm reacting to the latest riverdale episode. For explanation I haven't watched riverdale since the beginning of season 4 and all I know is that it's gone even more to shit with introduction of Mothmen. So let's see if I have a fun time.

- what are these new relationships?? Also Duran Duran - if you're gonna use it at least use it for longer than 30 secs for an awkward kiss.

- of course Veronica is dating a Chad.

- Nana being homophobic with the gay not allowed to be happy - it's literally in the label.

- Jughead works at Pop's, is he allowed/trained to be near children and teach?? Are any off them trained to do their jobs (other than Betty) or is Riverdale just that isolated that they'll hire anyone??

- Archie has survived a bear attack and a war zone where majority died - does he have plot armour?? Also he's meant to be an army recruiter when I thought he couldn't get worse.

- Jughead's me when I try to write to draw, just looking at a blank screen and no inspiration.

- why is his last name GEKKO??

- okay maybe Archie isn't that bad standing up and saying they shouldn't just follow orders coming from an authority figure if you believe its the wrong call.

- how old are the twins that they get a two tier cake each?? How big was the time skip??

- MAPLE MUSHROOMS?? Is that how episodes are written now? Can I try some to get over my writer's block??

- you can't access trauma - don't do drugs, go to therapy!!

- so bad thoughts manifest now?? That's so stupid, that's how you get stuck in an abusive relationship you guilt yourself into believe you caused the issues

- we love the gender norms of Juniper getting a pink bowl and Dagwood getting a blue bowl.

- already violent I see. Maybe being thrown in fire as babies and being part of a cult was harmful to them or is the fact that their entire family is fucking insane.

- Cheryl why do you still dress like a bitchy high-school cheerleader??

- that's fucked that he's writing a paper on her family without their permission?? And then trying to blackmail her? Who the fuck is this guy??

- why is Uncle Frank in jail and who is he??

- what were the photos of - her kissing someone else?

- I want to try a psychedelic burger now.

- a tour of the London dungeons would be the way to woo me, sounds like great date night to me.

- I'm 20 minutes into a 40 minute episode and I already just want to skip through to just see Jughead's high then leave

- why are you getting nostalgic and tipsy with the man you're getting a divorce from when he was so against it literal days ago??

- why is the general on the school tour like he wasn't wondering around the school that day.

- also you live in a town notorious for crime and you're going to let your - what 6/7 year olds - answer the door at night??

- they just escaped prison where'd they get the guns??

- also Charles is gay and wants to marry the maniac guy that pretended to be him

- these comical sound effects from like cartoon fights just made this more entertaining in a split second

- also why did a bunch of prisoners break into the school right after escaping?? That seems counter productive especially when the FBI are in town. Also where did the machete come from??

- completely understandable that the entire family family are like what the fuck when Glen arrives but like Chick no you don't count you aren't blood related.

- okay the enemy is always hiram Lodge can someone please just shoot him in the head to get it over and done with??

- general this isn't a war zone it's a town and you are holed up in the place that is going to be attacked by the majority of prisoners - you need to leave or you'll all die

- they're 9?? And also there isn't hope they already almost murdered a kid and they didn't have much to say about it

- you seriously still give a shit about Glen??

- Jughead's just living his best life in this bunker - or not, what the fuck is this nightmare?

- what the fuck was that thing and the comical man screaming at the end underneath the sound of the train blaring

- did none of them seriously not see the Grove burning to ground out of the window

- the look Cheryl and her mother exchanged when Nana suggested killing Cheryl's girlfriend? - absolutely comical the compete contentness with KILLING HER GIRLFRIEND!!

- then her girlfriend runs and she'd like wait as if you didn't just give her look that was like you are completely okay with murdering her for your fortune.

- also just that day you basically said the curse was bullshit and that praying was useless and now you're on board because Mumzie said so??

- the praying works - is that not an absolutely insane weather phenomenon that the entire town would be talking about especially cause that's got to be a strong wind to put out a forest fire??

- how did he actually manage to escape the handcuffs?? and the aliens are back I'm guessing

- who is this other guy living with Archie and why is he so chill with letting a former inmate live in the house??

- I assume that Hiram still wants to own all of Riverdale to do whatever it is he wants to do with it but the school, with inmates trashing it, does nothing but deprive teens of their education. What is he doing about the nurseries and Middle schools or does no-one but the Cooper family and that one other family have children under the age of 14??

- I'm sorry the prison hospital (I assume??) Is called Shankshaw??

- get justice how?? By driving around in a truck looking like the next highway killer??

- Oh he seriously injured himself to get out then left in an alien ship - good going Jughead.

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - SS XXIX

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 29

Word-count: 3.3k+

A/N: pls don’t come for me like lydia with her bat (i’ll forgive you if you do)

You hadn’t realized how badly you needed to spend time with Derek until you did, even if that time was spent cleaning the loft and complaining about not being able to go to Mexico right now. He was good at calming you down and listening to you talk things through. Although Derek hadn’t been a very good alpha when he had the power, something changed inside him after he’d given it up to save Cora. He’d be a leader again, you could feel it.

After Derek dropped you off at home and you’d had a very lengthy video-chat with Cora and Isaac, you dragged yourself into the shower and into bed. Surprisingly, you didn’t dream that night. Since recovering from the exhaustion of being on a hitlist, your brain almost always made you have nightmares. Not that night. You had other things to worry about. 

Like telling Liam that he had to stay at home because it was a full moon. 

“Come on,” he whined. “I can handle it. I’m getting better!” 

“Biscuit, the last time you said that you broke a window and tried to kill Stiles,” you said, getting up to cup his face. “Stay here. I’ll bring Scott home.” 

“No way, I can-” 

“Ugh, Liam, go home!” Stiles groaned as he and Malia came down the stairs, carrying some bunched up pillowcases in his hand. “You’re not coming with us!” 

“Why not?” 

“Because it’s a full moon, and I don’t feel like driving all the way down to Mexico just to have you rip my throat out,” Stiles said, hand ripping at the air above his neck. 

“You can lock me up, right? Chain me down to the backseat or something?” Liam asked. He looked at you for encouragement but all you did was shrug.

“You tore through the last chains, remember?” Malia said.

“Yeah, we’d have to freeze you in carbonite just to get you down there,” Stiles said.

“Okay, then where do we get carbonite?” Liam asked. 

“Oh, my sweet dumb-” you sighed and put a hand on one of Stiles’ shoulders to calm him down. He was still narrowing his eyes at Liam. “Look, Liam, we can’t take you with. Just stay here and look after everyone else, okay?”

The three of you started walking out the door and Liam stopped you again. He was breaking your heart. He wanted to come with and he wanted to save Scott and Kira. You looked at Stiles, and he looked at you. He said something about stealing a prison van, and you said something about Noah grounding him for the rest of his life. 

By the time the four of you got to the meetup point, a plan was made. 

“Are we really bringing him?” Derek asked as he climbed out of his car, Peter getting out on the other side. 

“Ew, are we really bringing him?” you asked, nodding your head at Peter. Then you swallowed your guilt when you remembered Malia was standing right next to you.

“We’re bringing everyone we can,” Peter said, clearly unimpressed by your tone. You shrugged. “And considering Scott and Kira were taken the night before a full moon, we should probably get going.” 

“What’s that mean?” Malia asked. 

“If Kate took Scott back to the same temple that she took Derek, how do we know she’s not planning to do the same thing to him?” Peter asked. 

“What, you think she wants to make him younger?” Liam asked. 

“She wants to make him powerless,” you sighed. Why didn’t you think of that before? Why did you need Peter to make you think? “Derek’s a born werewolf, Scott was bitten. If she can take him back to when he was human then … forget about being an alpha, who knows if we’ll even get him back to a werewolf?”’

Fucking Peter Hale.

“It’s true that a werewolf can’t steal a true alpha’s power,” Peter said. “But maybe a Nagual Jaguar, with the power of Tezcatlipoca behind her … Maybe she can. So, if everyone is sufficiently freaked out, I say we get going.”

“We can’t,” Stiles said. “Not without Lydia.”

“Why don’t you give her another call?” you suggested in a lower voice. Stiles met your eye and nodded before walking off and calling her for the billionth time that morning. 

“I got nothing,” Stiles said after a few tries.

“If she has a car, she can catch up to us,” Braeden said. 

“That’s a good point,” Peter said. 

“No. What if something happened?” Stiles asked. “What if she’s in trouble?” 

“Fine. You stay, you find her,” Peter said. “We’re gonna go on without you.”

“Why the hell are you so-” 

“I could call Mason,” Liam cut you off and Stiles reached for your hand to calm you down. “He has a study group at school. Maybe he could look for her.”

“Alright, fine,” Stiles said. 

You squeezed his hand before letting go to follow Derek. The plan was for the Jeep to stay behind, and for you, Stiles, Derek, and Braeden to take the prison van to keep Liam locked up. Malia was supposed to go with Lydia and Peter in case anything went wrong. Things were already going wrong.

“All good?” Derek asked after he cuffed Liam to the bench across from the three of you. Liam pulled his hands up and the cuffs clanged against the bars but they held. “Okay, I brought something to help you.”

You watched him take out a familiar wooden disc from his jacket. You looked over at Stiles and he shrugged before looking back at the triskelion. Every time you saw that piece of junk, you thought about Boyd and Erica. It helped them, so maybe it could help Liam. But it also killed them, so you didn’t have high hopes.

“This has been with my family for centuries.” 

Maybe Liam wouldn’t end up dead like everyone else who used it. 

“It’s a very powerful, supernatural talisman,” Derek went on. You could feel Stiles squinting next to you, so you moved your hand back to find his. “We use it to teach Betas how to control themselves on the full moon.” He gave it to Liam and then looked over at you and Stiles. You needed to sell it. 

“Yes, um, it’s powerful,” Stiles said slowly. He cleared his throat. “Very powerful.” 

You did your best to ignore him as you moved closer to the edge and put a hand on Liam’s knee. “Derek had a pack before you knew him,” you said, doing your best not to get choked up. “I saw how this helped them.” 

“Where are they now?” Liam asked. 

“South America,” you said. Not a total lie. You’d tell him more about Boyd and Erica when he didn’t look like he was about to cry. You smiled and slid back in your seat, Stiles wrapping an arm around you and you leaning back into his chest.

Everything was fine until the sun started setting. That’s when Liam’s breathing started getting more labored and Stiles’ arm around your waist started getting tighter. When the sunset and the full moon was up, Liam let out a growl and Stiles jerked his legs up and pulled you away - a move that woke you up from the light sleep you’d managed to fall into. 

“Stiles-” you started slowly, sounding confused. You looked over at Liam and detangled yourself. 

Liam was clutching the triskelion in his clawed hand. “Whatever you’re gonna teach me,” he forced out slowly. He looked up at Derek with glowing eyes. “I think you better start.”

You started inching closer but Derek held up a hand to keep you in the corner with Stiles. “Liam, you with me?” he asked after a moment. Liam nodded. “We have a mantra that we use. You repeat it, you focus on the words.” 

“It’s like meditating,” Stiles offered, moving closer to find your hand again. 

“You’ve tried meditating for your anger management, right?” you asked. 

“Yeah, and I freaking sucked at it!” Liam said, doing his best not to yell or snap at you.

“You say the words until you feel control coming back to you,” Derek said, drawing Liam’s attention back to himself.

“Okay, okay! What are the words?” 

“Look at the triskelion. See the symbol?” Derek asked. He launched into a sickeningly familiar explanation about how each spiral meant something - alpha, beta, omega - and how they were all linked. Any wolf could rise and fall to any position on the triskelion. It broke your heart. “All you have to do is say the words and, with each one, you tell yourself you’re getting calmer, more in control.” 

Liam repeated the mantra a few times, each time sounding like it took more effort to keep his voice level. He got more frustrated when Derek stepped in. 

“Derek, I don’t think his powerful talisman of self-control is working,” Stiles warned as he pulled you closer so you sat between his raised legs on the bench. 

Liam started to full-on turn now, fangs elongating and claws stretching out. He let out a growl that made you feel cold. He tried to lunge at Derek, but the cuffs kept him in place. The entire van rocked as he fell back to his seat. Braeden was losing control. 

You pushed yourself off of Stiles. 

“Biscuit, hey- hey, look at me,” you said. He broke out of one of the cuffs and Stiles pulled you back. Because you were out of his reach, Liam went for Derek’s face. His claws were barely an inch away from Derek’s skin. 

Braeden turned to assess the damage. “Derek-”

“I think we’re gonna need to go a little faster!” Stiles yelled. 

“What was that thing that Brett said?” you asked Stiles. Your voice sounded too quiet in the midst of all the chaos. “The other mantra.” 

“Uh, I-” Stiles thought about it, and you pushed yourself to Liam as you did. He wouldn’t hurt you. 

“Buddy, hey, I need you to listen to me, okay?” you said gently. He needed to get away from Derek. You charged your nightstick under the bench and reached your other hand out to Liam. You didn’t want to hurt him, but if you needed to restrain him, you wanted to be prepared. “Remember that day when we played against Davenport Prep for the first time? Remember how you freaked out? Can you remember what Scott said to you?” 

Liam didn’t seem to be registering your words, but the confusion on his face made him pull away from Derek - even if it was only a few inches. Then something snapped again and he went for Derek’s throat, ripping free of the other cuff. 

“We’re almost there!” Braeden yelled.

“Liam! Liam,” Stiles leaned up behind you, accidentally knocking the nightstick out of your hand. If anything happened now, you’d first have to scramble to find it and those minutes could kill anyone of you. “What three things cannot be long hidden?” 

“Liam!” you yelled at him and pushed Derek down. Liam scratched you in the process, but at least Derek still had a face. “Liam, what three things cannot be long hidden?”

You were almost on top of Derek, and now Stiles was leaning over you to get Liam’s attention. If it wasn’t a life or death situation, the position might have been funny. Stiles repeated the question again, and something started working. Liam was breathing again, even if it was uneven puffs of breath. 

“The sun- the moon - the truth.”  

Every word was its own sentence but slowly Liam started calming down. When the claws disappeared, you gave an uneasy laugh and collapsed on Derek. You were okay. 

“You’re bleeding,” Derek said. 

You frowned and straightened up. “No, I’m not.” 

“Uh, yeah,” Stiles said, turning so you were looking at him. He lifted your arm and you saw the stained, ripped clothing. “Yeah, you are.” 

“It’s fine,” you lied. “I’ll wrap it up and be good as new by the time we stop. We’ve got bigger things to worry about than a scratch.”

Stiles didn’t seem convinced but he helped you roll up your shirt and clean the scratch. It wouldn’t get in the way of saving Scott, and you weren’t just going to wait for them in the van just because of a little scratch. Even if it did hurt.

“I can’t believe I did it,” Liam said when he’d calmed down and the van came to a stop. He looked and sounded like himself again, but you couldn’t get the picture of him trying to kill Derek out of your head. “For a minute there, I thought I was gonna tear you guys apart.” 

“Yeah, well, not for lack of trying, right?” Stiles said. He seemed more upset than usual that you got caught in the crosshairs. “That would’ve made for an awkward ride home.” 

“Do you think you can bring the same level of control and strength inside La Iglesia?” Derek asked.

In a swift move, Liam unsheathed his claws and kept the rest of himself human. 

“We might actually pull this off,” you said in disbelief. 

Derek nodded and made his way to the doors. He pushed them open and you heard the growl of a berserker. You got up and tried to shove Stiles further into the van so you could help Derek, but you weren’t fast enough. The berserker pulled Derek off his feet and tossed him onto the ground. 

He started beating Derek on an old stone, and you scrambled out to help. Braeden fired an entire clip of ammo into the berserker’s side before you could do anything. She knelt down beside Derek and you couldn’t hear a word they said. 

Stiles’ hand slipped into yours as you watched them. You were vaguely aware of the warmth he provided, but you were acutely aware that Derek didn’t come all the way to Mexico to get killed. 

“How bad is it?” Peter asked. You didn’t even hear him and Malia get out of the car. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Derek insisted through blood-stained teeth. “Just get Scott.”

You weren’t listening to a word he said. There was something about seeing him bloody and beaten that cemented you to your spot. You heard the wolves go in, but you didn’t move until Stiles tugged on your arm. You had to leave him if you wanted to save Scott, even if it killed a piece of you.

---

You hated this damn church. You’d been running through it for far too long until Peter stopped you and Stiles got a phone call. Then another berserker attacked and you started running again. Malia threw Kira’s sword at you and told you and Stiles to find Kira and Scott, they’d hold the berserker off as long as they could.

The two of you wandered around, yelling for Scott and Kira, until Stiles stopped. You crashed into his back, but he didn’t stumble. His flashlight shone on a very broken-looking Kira. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Stiles asked as he rushed closer to her. 

“It’s Scott,” Kira said. “Stiles, it’s Scott.” 

“What’s Scott?” Stiles asked. 

“The berserker. It’s him. Kate did it.”

“What do you mean ‘Kate did it’?” you asked. “How?”

“She made him into one of them! I don’t know how, but it’s him,” Kira said. “If they don’t know it, they could kill him.” 

“That’s why Lydia’s not here,” Stiles said. “They won’t know they’re killing Scott.” 

“We need to find them,” you said, handing Kira her sword. “Do you remember the way we came?”

Haphazardly, the three of you stumbled your way through the tunnels and found your friends moments before killing Scott. Stiles yelled at Malia to stop as she aimed a killing blow at Scott’s skull. Kira cut the bone-knife in half.

“It’s Scott!” you yelled at them. “You can’t kill him.”

“He’s gonna kill us!” Peter growled. 

Scott threw Peter and Liam off himself, and then marched closer to Liam. Liam crawled backward as Scott ignored your pleas to stop. Stiles tried to step in and Scott hit him so hard that you heard bone crunch. You don’t know why you thought he’d go any easier on you; you ended up concussed on the floor right next to your boyfriend. 

Your ears rang out as Scott narrowed in on Liam, dragging him up the wall. “No, no, no,” you mumbled, trying to get back to your feet. Stiles reached out for you, trying to tell you this wasn’t your fight. 

You didn’t hear what Liam said to Scott to make him change, but he backed up and took off the bones that made him a berserker. His howl broke through the ringing in your ears as he split the skull in half, and you clambered to your feet. 

“You.” Scott’s eyes were dead ahead on Peter as he spoke. “The only one who knew as much as Argent about berserkers. About the Nagual. You taught Kate, and you helped her. All for power.” 

“For my family’s power,” Peter corrected. “To be rightfully inherited by me. Not usurped by some idiot teenage boy, so incorruptible, he won’t shed the blood of his enemies even when justified. You don’t deserve your power.” He started shifting. “Not power like this.”

You’d kill him. He threw Malia against the altar when she lunged at him, and threw you into a wall when he stomped closer and you got in his way. Your body ached as it slumped to the floor, and your head felt sticky as a liquid ran down your neck. You heard their voices before they started fighting again, but you couldn’t make out the words. Just like you could feel someone moving your body, but you couldn’t see who it was. 

“Stiles?” 

“I’m right here.” His voice was tight and his warm hands cradled your head. “I’m not going anywhere. Scott? Scott, she’s hurt! She-”

“Stiles, he can’t fix this,” you said, using whatever energy you had left to reach your hand up to his face. You wanted to look in his eyes. His tear-filled eyes. “It’s okay. I love you, Stiles. I’m okay.” 

“No, you’re not. We’re gonna fix this. I-” his voice faltered and he tried to get Scott’s attention again. You didn’t mean for your hand to fall but it did, making a small thud as it landed on your stomach. “No, no. God, anyone. This isn’t how it ends.” 

“Stiles, it’s okay,” you said softly. Stiles closed his eyes and bowed his head. He whispered something you couldn’t make out, and he didn’t stop when you asked him to. “I’m okay. I don’t mind dying if it … it saves all of you. It’s okay.”

He wasn’t listening, and soon you couldn’t ask him to stop praying anymore. You couldn’t lift your hand to wipe away his tears, and you couldn’t tell him that it was going to be okay. You couldn’t even keep your eyes open, even though you were trying to. 

“Stiles, is she-” Scott was out of breath and you felt him kneel in front of you. “What happened?” 

“I couldn’t save her,” Stiles said. “I- I prayed and it didn’t-” 

You felt your hand twitch, and watched it snake up to Scott’s neck. It wasn’t comforting. It wasn’t you. You were choking him. He didn’t try to fight it as you pushed yourself to your feet, everyone too in shock to stop you. Something snapped under your hand and you threw him to the side. His body made an awful sound as it crashed into the wall.

“Y/N, what are you-” Stiles’ voice broke off as he got to his feet. “Y/N?” 

“We missed you, Stiles.” 

It was your voice, but it wasn’t your words. You didn’t have any control. 

“Missed me? What are you-” 

“Everyone has it.” You heard yourself say, taking slow steps towards him. A bloody, dusty hand touched the side of his face and you screamed at yourself to stop. “But no one can lose it. What is it?” 

All the color drained out of his face. “A shadow.”

Your face broke into a smile. “I’m your shadow, Stiles.”

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Writing Commission - Where I Want To Be - Chapter Five

Summary: Yamada Hizashi, better known as the Voice Hero Present Mic, is a busy man. He has classes and students to teach English to, an agency that always seemed to be in the middle of a disaster to help deal with, and a radio station that was one bad show away from being cancelled to run. He doesn’t have time for a bad day triggered by nightmares and fears and anxieties that just never seem to stop.

Luckily for him, his partners are Aizawa Shouta and Yagi Toshinori and neither of those two are very good at leaving Hizashi to suffer alone.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia    

Relationship: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Characters: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 29,323

Transaction Amount: $200 (USD)

WARNINGS FOR: Past childhood abuse (both emotional and physical) and anxiety attacks verging on panic to PTSD episodes. Please read with caution if needed.

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                                          Chapter Index

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On the average day Hizashi loved his agency. It was bright, and loud, and full of sound and laughter and life and, more often than not, it reminded him of just why he had become a hero in the first place. It was a place where, no matter what, he knew he was making a difference -- however small it might be. 

Hizashi did not love his agency when he was having a rough day, however. His aching head, already pounding from a headache that was quickly starting to edge into migraine levels, screamed in pain at everything that was going on. He knew, without a doubt, that if he removed his sunglasses for even a second then it would be just enough to kick him into a sensory overload. Even with his hearing aids turned down it was still, well… 

Gaggles and groups of interns were dashing across the main lobby and disappearing into elevators or hallways, harried lawyers who looked one bad moment away from a breakdown were rushing to elevators with files upon files of paperwork, engineers and designers for their in-house support equipment were lugging around large crates and yelling every time someone stepped in their path, and overall it was like Hizashi had walked into hell.

He couldn’t help the half-step he took back towards the door that he was still holding open. The urge to just turn around and head back home where he knew Shouta and Toshinori would be was overwhelming. He knew he would never do it, though. As much as he would love to skip out on an agency day, he had far too much paperwork to get done. Not to mention he had way too many interns and sidekicks to corral to even attempt leaving. 

Besides, the wonderful, but terrifying woman who ran the front desk had already seen him. She was typically cheerful, but considering the chaos of everything, she was looking at Hizashi as if daring him to try and leave. It was a look that, the longer he stood there, was morphing into one of murderous rage and, considering she was the linchpin that kept his agency from collapsing, Hizashi decided to hustle his way inside. He wasn’t sure if he feared murder from her more, or her quitting on them. Probably the latter, all things considered. 

She at least seemed mollified when she saw Hizashi heading towards the elevators, but he noticed a quick glimpse of concern on her face. It was enough to have him resisting the urge to groan. If she could tell he was having an off day from just one look at him from so far away, then he didn’t have high hopes for nobody else noticing. He did work with pro-heroes, after all.

He at least had hope that the day might just look busy but would actually be slow. Those hopes were soon crushed and Hizashi knew exactly what sort of day it would be when two lawyers converged on him before he could even step inside the elevator. “Yamada-san! Here are the files concerning the last three major incidents during your patrols. This includes the altercation at the Mitsuya building.” Ah, right. The mall that had almost been destroyed by a couple of pricks with a grudge against… capitalism? Hizashi hadn’t really been sure. 

“Thank you, Heartfilia-san,” Hizashi sighed, accepting the files and trying not to flinch at how heavy they felt. No one had ever warned him as a kid just how much paperwork was involved with being a pro hero -- especially a public pro hero who had to worry about things like property damage. Pushing his sigh back, Hizashi looked to the other lawyer. “Nozu-san? How’s everything regarding the last raid we did?”

The apologetic look on the man’s face had Hizashi closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He felt his head pound in tune with his urges to just drop everything and scream. Nozu seemed to realize he was close to losing it, because he was quick to add, “It could certainly be worse, Present Mic, sir.” 

“Let me guess, it could always be better?” The thick file Hizashi was handed made him bitterly regret his decision to not just remain as a sidekick for the rest of his days. Even if his life had been hell as a sidekick and he would have long since been dead, he wouldn’t have so much paperwork. “What’s the deadline for getting this in?”

“Well, that’s where the good news comes in,” Nozu perked up, looking delighted to have some good news to share. Hizashi couldn’t blame him. “In a typical case like this we would need to have everything submitted in two days in order for all criminals to be properly and legally charged and contained-”

“Two days?!” Hizashi was having a heart attack. He was going to die. He was just going to drop dead and let his skull split open from his migraine and allow his anxiety to eat him alive. It would be better than two days-

“In a typical case! This isn’t typical! We have more time!” While Nozu explained in a panic, Heartfilia gave a soft snort of laughter, looking as tired as Hizashi felt. The man had no doubt been pulling double and triple shifts.

“Next time?” Heartfilia spoke up, “Lead with that.” Hizashi couldn’t help but agree because, wow, yeah… He hadn’t thought his day could have gotten worse, and yet. “At least it’s not two days considering how much of a shitshow that case was. How much time?”

“One week from today,” Nozu sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Sorry, sir, for the scare. Thankfully one of the criminals that were caught slipped up enough that he’s being suspected as being part of a string of other crimes and robberies. We’ve been given extra time to complete things on our end while the court looks into it.”

Alright. Hizashi could handle dealing with a case like this in a week, at least. Closing his eyes and wincing at the pounding in his head, Hizashi swallowed and forced himself to keep it together as he nodded at the two, “Alright. I’ll get this all filled out and drop it back off with Crow-san. Anything else?”

Nozu shook his head rapidly, still young and new enough to be just the tiniest bit starstruck. Heartfilia, who had been stuck dealing with him for years, shook his head, “Just get some rest before you drive yourself into the ground. Again.” 

“Ha, ha,” Hizashi responded dryly. “You’re hilarious, truly. I can see the career in comedy already.” Hizashi pressed a button to call the elevator, looking over his shoulder as he waited for it to arrive. “Anything else?” 

“Yeah,” Heartfilia smirked, crossing his arms with too smug of an expression. “Ito-san is looking for you.” Fuck. The ding of the elevator was the only thing that stopped him from actually letting slip a few curses.

“I hate you,” Hizashi called as he pressed the floor for media relations, shutting his eyes and swallowing around the heavy, clogged feeling in his throat. The only thing keeping him even relatively sane was the fact he could and was still talking. Then again, if his migraine got much worse his quirk would start slipping, and if that happened then he could hurt people, and if his quirk was out of control then he was dangerous-

“Oh, hello, Yamada-san.” Startling at his name and trying not to show it, and realizing the elevator had stopped and opened its doors for him, Hizashi looked down at one of Ito’s interns. “Ito-san is waiting for you in her office.” 

Mumbling a quick thanks, Hizashi headed towards Ito’s office, wincing at some of the sympathetic looks he was being given. That never meant good things and today, of all days, Hizashi wasn’t sure if he could handle whatever news Ito had for him. As his media and public relations manager, she was in charge of making sure he had a good image when it came to the general public. It didn’t always go well.

Clutching the files he had been forced to take, Hizashi half-wondered if he could use them as an impromptu shield or weapon as he cleared his throat, knocked, and cracked open the door, “Good afternoon, Ito-san, Japan’s finest and best-”

“Save it.” The barked order had Hizashi snapping his mouth shut at once, and, yeah. It was definitely that sort of day. “Sit your ass down and explain to me why I have three media outlets trying to get comments on the fact that you got into a fist fight at a bar of all places.” Ah… Ah, right. Hizashi had almost forgotten about that. 

Hovering by the door and debating escape for a moment, Hizashi finally slipped in and took a seat as far away from Ito as he could get. It didn’t feel like it helped him very much, Ito taking a seat behind her own desk and simply staring at him. It was her favorite intimidating tactic and, unfortunately for Hizashi, it often worked.

Finally, after eons had passed, Ito braced her elbows on the desk and laced her fingers together, pushing out a long sigh that made guilt claw at his chest. Hizashi wasn’t exactly sure what he was guilty for, but the guilt was there all the same.

“Alright, Yamada.” Ito’s eyes, which had fluttered shut for a moment, snapped open and gave him a look that was as cold as ice. “Explain to me why I shouldn’t let you deal with this mess on your own.”

Blanching, Hizashi tried not to fully flinch away, instead roughly clearing his throat, and, alright. He was good with words. He was a language teacher, after all. “Well… If you think about it, I was off-duty at the time-”

“You were still wearing your full uniform and all of your support equipment,” Ito interrupted, eyes radiating her hatred and ire perfectly. “I have over a dozen unique photos from social media accounts of you, Present Mic, in a fist fight with a member of the public at a bar. It’s already spread rapidly across the top three social media sites and is gaining traction on another two sites as we speak.”

Ito paused, taking in a breath. The pause, Hizashi figured, was more terrifying than her anger. “Now, I want an explanation -- and not your media explanation for which I will give you something that you will repeat word-for-word. No. I want your honest explanation as to what stupidity went through your head when you thought you could just-”

“He was drugging a girl’s drink.” Hizashi braced for something to be thrown at him, waiting nervously before Ito, silent, gave a nod for him to continue. “I had just finished up my patrol and I stopped by that bar to talk to the owner about some of my contacts and some people I had on watch. I noticed that the bastard I punched had been flirting with someone who was pretty unreceptive and, when she wasn’t looking, he slipped a powder into her drink that dissolved immediately.

“The girl was about to drink from her cup as an excuse to not talk to him, so I snatched it from her and then confronted the asshole about the little addition to the cup. It, uh… It didn’t remain much of a civil conversation for long.” Hizashi, still seeing the displeasure, hopefully added, “I didn’t throw the first punch?”

There was a long, long moment of silence, Ito narrowing her eyes at him before giving a single nod that had Hizashi almost collapsing in relief. “I’ll deal with it, in that case. Can the owner or bartender confirm your story and the events?”

“Of course! I should have both their numbers. They offered ‘em up when they realized what went down and are willing to act as witnesses.” Hizashi knew he was in the clear when Ito looked pleased, some of the manic tension bleeding out of her. She really deserved a vacation soon. “So… public image?”

Ito looked down at her scattering of papers and forms, shoving a few to the floor before pulling some out of her drawer. It was an effort to not laugh. “Not the best, but not the worst, either. With that bar fight, now that I know the truth, I can spin it to get you some positive attention for a week or two, at least.”

Hizashi watched as Ito scattered around a few more papers before pulling another out of a pile, “The Mitsuya Mall, as I don’t need to tell you, was an utter disaster.” Yeah, it had… definitely not ended well when it came to property damage. “Thankfully no one was hurt, so that makes the outcome more positive on the overall. Your show’s doing well, so that’s helping-”

“And what are the more official sources saying?” Because Ito could go on all day if he let her and Hizashi knew that public opinion could mean more than just the average citizen’s opinion. “Bad or bad?”

Ito’s lips twisted up into a wry smile as she chuckled, “Just bad, for now. I think the new drivel is claiming you’re a laidback playboy who’s focused more on his radio show and his ratings rather than the safety of Japan.” 

“Playboy? Playboy? Really?” Hizashi made a face, shaking his head. He had been with Shouta since they were teenagers, after all, and the only other person he had ever felt the urge to really be with was Toshinori. “Jeez, alright. At least it’s just about the radio show. That always passes.” 

“It does if you keep getting good ratings,” Ito snorted, fixing a stack of papers, and then looking at her desk. “That seems to be the worst of it for now. Did Heartfilia-san get you those files yet?”

“Saw him just before you,” Hizashi said, holding up his files. He couldn’t blame Ito for not appearing very sympathetic considering her own workload. “How’s opinion looking like on the case?”

“Varied.” Well. It could be worse. “The public still seems to be under the impression we’re competent, at the very least, and I’m happy to keep it that way.” Ito looked at her desk one last time before nodding and waving her hand at him, “Alright, you can go. I’ll fix the latest mess you dropped in my lap and then I don’t want any disasters from you for at least two weeks. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” Hizashi nodded, standing up and walking towards the door. He paused for a moment, hand hovering over the doorknob. “Actually… what’s the current opinion on my image in regards to my… my quirk.” 

Hizashi didn’t turn around to see whatever look Ito was giving him, instead just waiting in the growing silence as he felt phantom pressure around his throat, pressing in tightly while phantom straps dug into his jaw and silenced him- 

“You’re a good man and hero with a powerful quirk that has only ever been used to protect the public.” Ito’s voice was soft, yet firm. She had known him long enough to no doubt know what was on his mind. ���The worst I have for you right now is that you’re too loud, but, honestly, that’s more about your wardrobe than your voice.” 

The unexpected dig had Hizashi giving a snort of laughter, quiet as he left the office and pushed out a soft sigh, eyes closing. His head was still pounding, and he still felt those phantom touches brushing against him, but it was enough to know that no one feared him or his quirk. Ito had never sugarcoated things for him, after all. It wasn’t much to know that he was at least decent in regards to the public, but… it helped a little.

“Um, Present Mic-san, sir?” Prying his eyes open, Hizashi blinked down a trio of new third-year interns. Two of them looked ready to burst into tears and the third looked as if she was ready to get into a fight for her life. “We’re, uh- Well, we’re new here, of course we’re new here, not that I expect you to know that, but, um-”

“Ignore her, she’s freaking out,” the one who didn’t look ready to cry said, stepping forward. “Our supervisor told us to go down to help support for the day but didn’t bother to tell us what floor or elevator to take. Think you could point us in the right direction?”

Ah, third years… They were either one moment from breaking down completely or they no longer cared if they lived or died. Hizashi not only remembered that time well, but even now he could relate. 

“Better than that, I can take you down there myself!” He made a mental note to later put in a work order request to submit for his next speaker, now that he was reminded. The last thing he needed was for them to fiddle with the specs again. “Come along, herolets!” 

“We’re, um- We’re not, uh, hero students, sir. We’re- We’re support students,” one girl nervously corrected, looking panicked as one of her friends pulled her along towards the elevator after Hizashi. 

“Really? If you ask me, those in support are just as much heroes as the rest of us.” Hizashi pushed the button for the right floor, looking at the third years seriously, sunglasses slipping down for a moment. “Listen. There will be plenty of people in your line of work who will doubt what it is you can do. They’ll think that just because you’re not out there on the front lines you’re doing less.”

“Isn’t that what we are doing?” The calm one, who looked put together and like she knew how the world worked far too well, stepped forward. “It’s nice of you to give us a pep talk, sir, but we aren’t heroes. We don’t have powerful, flashy quirks. We just know how to put things together without them falling apart.” 

Hizashi stared for a moment, tilting his head before giving a huff of a laugh. Shouta, he was surer, would have loved this kid, “What’s your name, listener?” 

“Ishii Chisuzu, sir.” Yeah. Hizashi would definitely have to remember that name for the future. He had a good feeling about it.

“Well, Ishii Chisuzu, I’m about to give you the best piece of advice you’ll ever get. Ready for it?” Waiting for the girl to nod, Hizashi gave her a sharp grin. “What you can do is not less. Got it?”

The elevator doors opened with a soft ding, the other two girls looking at him with wide eyes while Ishii gave the smallest hint of a smile, “Got it.” 

“Good! Now, off you scurry. If anyone gets after you for being late or something just send ‘em to me,” Hizashi winked, watching as the girls scattered for another direction. Hizashi stared after them for a moment, quietly hitting the button for the floor his office was on, leaning back against the elevator and pushing out a slow breath as he swallowed around his dry throat. 

As much as he loved his agency, it was such a public place. That was fine, typically, considering that he loved being a part of all the action and crazy problems that were always happening. It was just that on some days, when the past pressed against him far too closely, Hizashi really wished he didn’t work in a place that constantly reminded him of his quirk and what it was he could do.

He was fine in the school where he was focused on teaching English and had so many fond memories and had Shouta nearby in case his quirk was to ever slip from his control. When he was away from all of that, however, from the feeling of safety and protection, that was when he could feel the straps tightening around his jaw, and the hands against his throat, and the whispered words of how he would never be a hero with such an awful villain’s quirk and why couldn’t he just be silent-

Rushing out of the elevator as soon as it hit his floor, Hizashi slipped into his office, tossed his files of paperwork onto his desk, and collapsed onto the nap lounge he had dragged in forever ago. He kept the lights off, letting the dark room soothe his aching eyes and pounding head as he tried to steady his breathing. 

He should have just gone home early and stayed with Shouta and Toshinori, but he had work to do. Some stupid childhood trauma that had happened decades ago was not going to stop him from being the hero he had become. It didn’t matter that his skull felt like it was cracking open, or that his throat could barely make any noise without trying to close, or that he couldn’t stop feeling that damn muzzle- 

It didn’t matter. The media could make fun of him all they wanted to, but Present Mic still had work to do. His public image was meant to be friendly and a bit silly, ready to help but also just as ready to make jokes and have some fun. It wasn’t an accident it was that way. He had known from the beginning how the world would see him, but that was good. It left him the room and freedom he needed to do what had to get done. 

That included doing the work he needed to, even on his bad days; no matter how tempted he was to take a page out of Shouta’s book and just fall asleep where he was lying down. It wouldn’t be for long. A half hour, maybe an hour, possibly until the world ended -- just long enough for him to stop feeling so tired and strung out. 

The one thing that kept him from following through was his buzzing phone, Hizashi swearing as he dug it out and pulled it up in front of his face before scrambling to lower the brightness in the dark room. It took a few moments before he noticed the sender was Nemuri, Hizashi already regretting his entire life as he opened the attached images. 

He had been prepared for anything and everything, but not for the half a dozen images of young Present Mic fans who couldn’t be older than six or seven. It was the cute pictures that Nemuri had promised to show him at lunch before getting distracted, Nemuri sending a simple text that read, ‘One of them told me to tell you thank you for having a voice quirk and still becoming a hero.’ 

It was a simple message, and cute, silly pictures, but Hizashi felt like he could burst into tears as he looked through them slowly one-by-one. Once he closed out of the last one, he saw a few missed texts, all of them from friends or other co-workers who were checking in on him. Tensei, who had no doubt been told of his rough day by Tenya, had sent near fifteen messages in the last ten minutes alone, along with a selfie of him doing a wheelie with his wheelchair.

Overall his messages were filled with support or just a kind word or two, Hizashi finally, slowly, after an eternity, pushing himself up and heading towards his desk. 

He may not have been some incredible hero like Toshinori or even a deadly, fearless hero like Shouta, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a hero. Present Mic had work to do it and Hizashi would see it through until the end. 

The idea of crawling into a corner and sleeping until the end of the world was still tempting, though.

[leopardfang15]

My Charlastor Child Bio

Alright so, I can’t draw, so I’m gonna have to use the art of words to describe my boy. Kinda sucks cuz I always see these cool reference sheets and I’m sitting over here like “aww... I wish I could make those.” But hey, if anyone is interested in drawing one for me as a commission, I’d be interested in talking and working some prices out. Nothing too crazy, just a simple thing. Fair warning though, I’ve never commissioned anything before so... there’s that.

Now, to business.

Name: Dominic

Nickname: Dom. He is well aware of all the sexual jokes that can be made from his nickname, he’s heard them all and to be honest the lack of originality is the most annoying thing at this point.

Appearance: Physically, he’s inherited the blonde hair and pale skin from his mother. In his early teen years he wore it long enough to be in a braid but after awhile he was like ‘fuck it, too much work’ and wears it short as an adult. Dom’s very athletic and is actually a knight in Hell so he has a more muscular build. He’s a tall and red eyed boi like his dad and he gets the dial in his eyes that his dad has when he gets pissed off.

Another thing Dom inherited from his dad was his sense of style. While maybe not as flashy he is dressed formally when he’s not working out. (He’s not about to do push-ups or go at it with a punching bag in a suit you maniacs). Dom typically wears a long coat and works out by himself because he also inherited a fluffy deer tail from his father. Also like his Radio Dad, he does not like having his tail touched by random people.

His most notable feature would be the black, feathered wings on his back. That angel DNA from Charlie’s side has finally appeared. Dom’s got a wingspan of 12 feet and he knows how to use them.

Personality: He’s a fairly laid back joker. Whereas his parents are theatrical as fuck, he’s more of an observer than a performer. Of course his parents have taught him to sing and dance he usually does that alone to entertain himself or with other family members. Dom also enjoys playing small pranks around the hotel. He’s not one for outlandish ‘pretending to be dead’ or tripping someone down the stairs type pranks but more like sticking a deer crossing sign to his dad’s door.

He’s really family oriented and cares a lot about them. I do imagine him having siblings but I don’t have plans to make anymore but there are plenty already out there. #bestbigbrother. Dom is definitely a Mama’s boy. He will run errands for her and allow himself to be pulled into a dance or a song in public for her. Another fact about Dom is he is in fact an adrenaline junkie. His favorite activity is flying and he does things like jump from a 300 foot building for the sake of the rush.

Background

Childhood: Little Dominic was a tiny ball of energy, following both parents around like a puppy. Always asking what they were doing and wanting to help, if he could sit still long enough that is. Some of his favorite memories of his parents was his mother teaching him to dance and roughhousing with his dad. (Hard to imagine the Radio Demon wrestling with a child but he’d let him win and then play dead to see if he’d get an amusing reaction out of Dom. Dom would usually try to get his dad to ‘come back to life’ before he’d smile and say “I guess I get your stuff now” and grab one of his dad’s bow ties or something)

One of his favorite things to do was give his parents a heart attack climb up high places and try to teach himself to fly. Eventually Charlie gets Husk to teach Dom how to fly. He’s not able to do much until his wings fledge because before then he just has these two limbs full of fluffy and useless down. Fledging was a nightmare because because when his feathers came in he was super itchy but couldn’t scratch them without possibly breaking his feathers. He was absolutely miserable for a week before they finally came in. Dom eventually grew in Husk and he started looking forward to the little ankle biter to come running up to him saying, “can we practice flying now, Uncle Husk?”

Teenager: Ah, teenage rebellion. Dom went through that. In an effort to help him deal with all his energy (and keep him from sneaking out) Charlie got Vaggie to teach him to use a sword. But a teenage boy that likes to explore cannot be kenneled. He liked exploring Pentagram City, especially by air and seeing what knew place he could discover.

He eventually found places he could go to if he wanted to avoid his parents. If he wanted to avoid Charlie he’d go to some of the sketchy fight clubs in town and he actually learned how to fight there. If he wanted to avoid Alastor he’d go to some of the clubs that played heavier rock or metal. He typically wanted to avoid his dad more. While Charlie typically scolded him for doing dangerous aerial stunts but Dom could tell that was more about a worry for his safety. With Alastor, Dom felt like he just didn’t quite fit the mold his father expected of him. He saw a lot of differences between his father and himself personality wise. He eventually, more or less convinced himself that he was a disappointment to his dad and distanced himself from him. Alastor, figuring it was mostly just teenaged angst, just let Dom have his space and figured he’d come to him when he was ready.

Adult: Dom has mellowed out by now. He’s calmed down and is more comfortable in his own skin and with himself. He has carried a love of rock and roll and martial arts from his teenaged years into adulthood. Though I’m not sure how exactly yet, he has been knighted by his grandfather Lucifer. If a demon is avoiding a meeting with the Devil himself, Lucifer will pay Dom to find said demon and bring them to him. He’s kind of like his grandfather’s personal bounty hunter but does not take requests from anyone else. When he’s not chasing down demons for Grandpa Luci he works security at his mother’s hotel.

Dom’s relationship with his father is tense and very awkward at this point. He doesn’t hate his dad it just feels like the years of practical separation makes him feel like he has no way to relate to his dad. Interacting with him is usually short conversations like “How was your day?” “Good, how about you?” “Good.” (I got pleanty of ideas for attempts at rekindling their relationship)

Random Facts

His choice of transportation is obviously flying. Not only is it faster than driving but to comfortably fit in a car he has to retract his wings which isn’t very comfortable.

People seem to always want to touch him. His wings, his tail, his biceps and he does not like it. He’s a bit like his dad with his aversion to touch though that only applies to non-family members. If he doesn’t know you, please don’t touch him.

He doesn’t like overly crowded places because of people touching his wings. If he ever decides to go to a bar, or he has some kind of royal gathering he has to go to he has to think about what he’s willing to put up with; strangers touching his wings or the discomfort of hiding them away?

He has a one-handed sword that he can summon in a fight. It’s one of the few bits of more advanced magic he knows. Whereas some demons, like his parents will use magic in a fight, he’ll just punch a guy through a wall.

He can sing, though he doesn’t do it in public. By himself or around his family is fine. He typically sings rock and my Headcanon for his singing voice is Ivan Moody from Five Finger Death Punch.

His wings are a great indicator of his emotions. If he’s feeling anxious or scared he’ll pull them in close to his body and if he’s happy or excited his wings will flap a little. His feathers also change themselves. If he gets angry or he’s ready to fight his feathers will actually harden and sharpen.

He can launch his feathers like projectiles and he can also slice through plates of steel when the feathers on his wings turn to blades.

He has taken up smoking in his later teen years. Per his mother’s request, he doesn’t do it inside the hotel.

When he was eleven his father taught him how to shoot a rifle. As an adult, he sometimes goes down to a shooting range to practice.

He likes to show affection with his wings. Ex: putting a wing around someone for comfort, wrapping his wings around someone when he hugs them or if he’s taking a nap with a sibling he’ll wrap them up in a feathery cacoon.

He usually sleeps on his stomach. If he lays on his back for too long his wings cramp up. He’ll take short naps on a couch in the lobby but if he’s going to be for the night he’ll lay on his stomach.

He knows how to braid hair. His mother taught him because he liked to play with her hair. It’s something he does when they’re just relaxing and he’ll braid his siblings hair if they ask.

He can take passengers when he’s flying. He flies targets to his grandparent’s castle and he’s flown his mother places. It obviously depends on the demon but on average he can take two to three adult demons on a flight with him.

Well, let me know what you think. I’d be willing to role play with Dominic if anyone is interested. If enough people want it, I’ll make a side blog for Dominic and Hazbin Hotel roleplaying specifically.

Also, @the-radio-princess I have two Charlastor fics in the works. One I was working on before you ripped out my heart so it will be in the EverythingsOkay!AU where Charlie ran off to New Orleans with Jaimie. The other one is from one of my ideas from my Charlastor Headcanons post.

[lokeanrampant]

Anders & Mental Illness

Cause someone kinda spurred this Wall of Text.  

You want unpopular opinion time?  Here ya go:   Anders is NOT mentally ill.

So what are the symptoms that people are seeing that make them see mental illness, which, for the purposes of this post, will be a medical diagnosis concerned with neural biochemistry that can never be cured, but can be managed with the assistance of medication to help correct the body’s own imbalance.

Anders DEFINITELY has post-traumatic stress disorder.  Please note, this is not considered a mental illness by way of biochemistry.  It is a learned behavior and associated response, an extreme form of Pavlov’s conditioning, that can be treated through cognitive therapy, medication, and time.  Why does he have PTSD?  Let’s go down the list:

Because he’s been trained to hate himself since he manifested magic.  Not because he did something wrong, but because of how he was born.  Yay, let’s teach people to hate themselves for being born.

Because he’s been taught he’s a walking weapon.  

Because his own family went from being as much a family as any other (with good and bad points) to essentially calling him a monster and throwing him out like so much garbage.

Feelings of persecution because, well, he is taken from his family, called a monster, and then locked into a tower/prison to experience little to no privacy and under constant guard where any small movement, action, or thought could be met with abuse, torture, or death.

Solitary confinement – MULTIPLE TIMES.  Please note, while there is not much in canon about the type of solitary confinement used, it is generally a small cell (60-80sq ft, or a 6-8’x10’ cell).  This is where everything is done – eating, drinking, sleeping, reliving oneself.   For Solitary Confinement:  

There may be extreme sensory deprivation – there may or may not be light, sounds may be constant or none at all or that idle drip-drip-drip of condensation on stone. There is no actual human contact.

As if mages are dehumanized already, the combination of isolation and sensory deprivation furthers this dehumanization in that you will eventually start to question reality itself.  Once you leave this sort of confinement, readjusting to the sights, sounds, and textures of the real world is a major hardship.  Everything is too loud, too bright, too textured, too everything – it’s a total body sensory overload.

For someone so steadfastly opposed to being confined, who has escaped multiple times simply to be free?  Solitary confinement is the WORST type of abuse.  It’s throwing an arachnaphobic into a room full of spiders, or a claustrophobic in a tiny box, or an agoraphobic into an open field.  It is their worst nightmare come to life. Short-term, it would excruciating, but multiple times with ever-lengthening terms?  That creates a desperation that will lead to severe risk-taking, extreme levels of anxiety, a desperate need-to-please to avoid that situation again (very Stockholm Syndrome), and suicidality.  But of course, the institution that does all this doesn’t care.  One less mage to worry about.

From an RL-perspective, the United Nations has classified anything over 15days in solitary confinement “constitutes cruel, degrading and inhumane treatment, or torture.” For someone who is mentally ill already (again, see above), the pressures exerted on the human psyche for such extended periods of time would resolve into a complete psychological break.

Based on all of that? It’s a wonder Anders is functional at all, though we know people who have survived such things and live with PTSD and can be function.  It shows a pure strength of self and major resilience.  THAT we do see in Anders.

So now we’re going to look at the why so many see the shift between DAA and DA2 Anders as absolutely signs of mental illness.  So DA2 was a rushed mess with a seriously unreliable narrator and essentially decided to disregard almost everything from DAA.  Remarkable storytelling, there, BioWare.  Good on ya.  *rolls eyes*

DAA Anders.  Ah, yes, the sassy, snark-driven flirt that everyone adores.  It’s called OVERCOMPENSATION.  Anders knows full well if this last escape attempt doesn’t work, he is, quite literally, a dead man.  While he has no fucks left to give on many levels, he will fight that one tooth and nail. He would rather die than go back to solitary or be given a lobotomy.  He will rail against authority, but anyone who gives him an ounce of positive reinforcement, an ounce of kindness, that is something to which he will cling with desperation and do anything to keep that positivity occurring.  Especially if it can in some way prevent what he fears the most.  So he flirts, is charming, is sassy, is snarky, and is HELPFUL. He may have a mouth on him, but he IS helpful.  He wants to ingratiate himself.  It’s also a self-defense mechanism where if he can deflect everything with wit and sass, no one will actually know what terrifies him the most and give them leverage over him.  He can’t afford that vulnerability.  

But he cannot hide the anger – that is there, in spades and then some.  He remembers enough of his life before the Circle to know there is a better life.  He is angry for everything he has felt in the Circle, for all the people who were hurt there, for how he was hurt there, for how anything resembling any sort of goodness was stripped away, beaten out, abused, or killed.  They were not allowed anything truly good in their lives and he had had that, tasted it, wanted it.  Knew it was there.  So he is angry, furious, fighting so hard to be free and be allowed to breathe and just be him, not some monster they kept telling him he was.  He didn’t feel like a monster, he didn’t want to be a monster, but he was still terrified he was one.  

And so he becomes a Warden – mostly because he can and as yet another last-ditch effort (he has a lot of those) to break free from the tyranny of the Circles and his impending death sentence at the hands of the templars.  The Wardens should be his escape.  They are an organization beholden to NONE.  Their backgrounds effectively cease to exist, for the most part.  It doesn’t matter if they are rogue, warrior, thief, murderer, or mage – once they are joined, they are Wardens.  And if it weren’t for the continued persecution of the templars who simply cannot stop being assholes, who knows what might have happened.  He did already exhibit traits of fighting for freedom, his own if no one else’s, at this point.  Justice helped him see that there were more people oppressed and made him start thinking about that.  

For all the extra time he had before being taken to the Circle, Anders is still young.  Though there are no canonical ages mentioned, general thought is that DAA Anders is early-20s.  And the Circles are geared toward keeping mages naïve and helpless, to keep them like young children so they are, by necessity, required to rely upon their captors for survival.  Anders has a bit more independence going into that environment than many, which is how he continued to fight and get himself in trouble.  He’s very strong-willed with a drive for independence, but he’s still effectively in the mindset of a troubled teen.  

Yet with all of that, there really isn’t any mental illness.  There is the PTSD, the anxiety and paranoia, the overcompensation, all from truly legitimate and horrifying experiences that would leave multiple symptoms of lasting impact in varying extremes.  Again, PTSD is a learned response to stimuli.  He is reacting based on previous experiences and results. And it absolutely influences day-to-day interactions even if the experience is in the past, because the key part of PTSD is that the past is NOT the past, it is still actively influencing the present, even if those stimuli are not actively in the present.

So let’s talk DA2 Anders. This is actually my preferred Anders. Why?  Because he has grown up.  He’s been given the TIME to actually figure himself out to a degree outside the confines of the Circle.  And do you know what he found?  That is has mountains of strength and compassion to give to others.  That he can say NO to some things.  Do you have any idea how difficult is to say NO when you’ve been indoctrinated like that?  It’s one of the hardest things in the world to do and even when you learn it and can say it, it can still be such a struggle to fight to listen to yourself and your feelings and not fall prey to that belief that it would simply be better for everyone if you said yes, no matter how horrible it may be for you to do so.

Anders in DA2 is a semi-to-mostly-functioning adult, as any adult would be after going through his life experiences, but all in all, he’s actually doing okay for himself.  He’s managing.  Sometimes, that is the absolute best we can manage.  We find out that he merged with Justice from DAA.  A lot of people will claim this, in and of itself, makes him bipolar or, at the very least, the outdated Multiple Personality Disorder (now Dissociative identity disorder), wherein there are a minimum of two distinctly separate identities that persist.  On the outside?  Eh, I can sorta see it…EXCEPT.  Justice isn’t Anders splitting his psyche into multiple pieces.  Justice is JUSTICE, a Spirit of the Fade.  A personality in and of itself/himself (and this particular personification of Justice chooses to be male, so male pronouns from here on out).  Justice isn’t a fragment of Anders’ personality.  He is a spirit who inhabits a living form that already has a soul. YOU LITERALLY HAVE TWO SOULS IN ONE BODY.  This is not a mental illness, this is spirit possession.  So DID can go straight out the window on this one.  

And then there’s that whole spirit/demon thing.  Justice IS NOT a demon.  He’s one hell of a hard ideal, in spirit form.  I have an entire essay written about Fade Entities, but that’s another topic. Needless to say, Justice isn’t some cute lil cricket on Anders’ shoulder.  Justice is a burning ideal in a world full of injustices.  And Justice, as we can see in DAA, is actively learning about the world around him.  He becomes, essentially, a very protective elder brother to Anders as you can see Justice only really breaks out and takes control in DA2 when Anders is clearly at breaking point and under severe emotional distress.  Imagine Hawke going to bat for their younger sibling in times of distress and you have Justice, wielding the blue fire and lighting of the Fade.  Justice allows Anders to know there is someone always looking out for him, who always has his back.  He allows Anders to feel a modicum of safety and gives him that push to allow him to be who he is.  He is, in a word, family.  Not easy, not kind, not always loving, but he is the chosen family – the blood of the covenant, not of the womb – and that much stronger for it.

Justice gave Anders a type of companionship after years of solitary confinement that no one else could. Justice helped anchor Anders, even though he pushes him hard.  Spirits can learn (Justice does, Cole does, even Wynne’s Spirit of Faith does) and they learn their environments and hosts if need be.  But inhabiting the living body of someone who has experienced everything Anders has?  It makes Justice very protective and very angry, but that doesn’t make him a demon. It actually makes him more human. He feels righteous fury at those who hurt his friend and continue to hurt him and others like him.  He feels insulted and personally attacked whenever he is called demon because he knows Anders’ fears about himself and Justice and their merging and he would never want anything like that to hurt his friend or for he, himself, to fall to that.  But he hasn’t.  Justice is still Justice and still that same ideal.  To warp Justice into a demon would require Justice brutalizing everything he is and warping the ideal of justice into something else entirely. And vengeance doesn’t count here – they are two sides of the same coin, which is why you often see vengeance called vigilante justice.  If the order of the world dictates that those in power do not provide justice, then vigilantism is the justice they receive.  I’m not even entirely sure what Justice could become if he was able to be warped enough into a demon, actually, no, I take that back, he would become Zealotry – the brute enforcement of an ideal, fanatical enforcement of an idea with no regard anything but that.  And that is NOT Justice.  There are much better examples of zealotry in Thedas.

Does Anders have aggressive self-defense mechanisms?  Oh hell yes.  He actually aggressively overacts to quite a few things to the point Hawke really should have smacked him upside the head a few times.  But it goes back to that old saying where it’s not paranoia if they’re actually out to get you.  And yes, they are actively and actually out to get Anders. Yet for all of this?  For all that he remains hunted, for all that his very existence is hated and persecuted and reviled?  He starts up a free clinic.  He uses his magic to heal people without asking for anything in return, except maybe to be left alone and maybe, just maybe get a warning if the templars are too close.  He has so much compassion, even after everything he has experienced.  He cares enough to not want others to experience what he has experienced.  

So let’s get back to mental illness.  I see a lot of references to manic episodes.  Now, I know that everyone who is diagnosed with BPD, I or II, experiences their own form.  It’s different for everyone.  I have BPD II and have only experienced medication-induced manic episodes and YIKES – I don’t know how anyone deals with those on a regular basis at all.  I get the funzies of depressive episodes, sometimes so badly they will pull me under.  Sometimes, so badly that yes, suicide is at the forefront of my thoughts. A lot of that has to the with the diagnosed PTSD and self-hatred that I have been trained to have. Indoctrination is a bitch. Therapy is helping, but it took years to get this shit diagnosed even after years ago, I had done enough research to kind of diagnose myself.  But no one wanted to believe me when I brought it up as a possibility.  People see other people functioning, to the most basic appearances, normally, and they hand-wave away the idea that there might be a problem.  So that said, let’s take a look at manic episodes.

I’m going with a firm NO on this one.  The closest thing I can see to manic episodes are when Anders is working almost feverishly on his manifesto.  No abject risk-taking that was any more prevalent than his multiple escape attempts. The closest thing we have to that is him running a free clinic and the mage underground in Kirkwall.  Hell, him breathing in Kirkwall is risk-taking.  But the manifesto nights?  It’s less manic and more avoidance, in my mind.  I’ve done it.  It’s keeping so busy that you don’t have time to think about the bad things that are constantly in your head.  Keep busy, keep healing, keep writing, keep fighting and for the love of all that is good, DON’T SLEEP.  Don’t let the dreams in, don’t be helpless and vulnerable.  Work until you’re so exhausted and you don’t dream, then wake exhausted again and do it again.  This is PTSD-anxiety at work combined with night terrors.  He is terrified of going to sleep, of being vulnerable to attack, of the nightmares of not just the taint, but of dark spaces and helplessness and the Fade and memories of failures, all those he couldn’t protect.  He drives himself so hard so he doesn’t have to think of those things.  It’s a defense mechanism.  It’s mostly utilized for anxiety and depression when dealing with PTSD or with basic extreme stress/duress and grief, and his history clearly can point to when those started.  

Oh, wait, I mentioned depression up there, didn’t I?  Hey, that’s a mental illness!  Yes, it is. Absolutely.  But you can be depressed without having the mental illness/biochemistry maladaptation.  Damned genetics.  ANYWAY.  PTSD causes extreme reactions, stress and duress, anxiety, and yes, depression.  You can’t escape the anxiety, the fear responses, the need to either work yourself to the bone or sleep away the pain.  In Anders’ case, it’s working himself so he doesn’t dream. Guess what happens when you do that to yourself over and over and over again?  The body isn’t designed to go without sleep and proper rest.  Those of us with sleep disorders will tell you (and it’s in the medical literature if you care to research it) that that degree of sleep deprivation will cause depression.  It’s not necessarily a matter of biochemistry, but that of situational body adaptations to not being able to recuperate.  

So there it is in a very large nutshell – my thoughts on why Anders is NOT mentally ill.  I get that some people want to see themselves in their favorite characters.  I relate to Anders on many levels, but I cannot put my diagnoses on him.

[weakeninghope]

Behind green eyes

Pairing: Ash Lynx/Eiji Okumura

Rating: Teen

AO3 link here

Summary:    “Ash, you deserve this. Me. Feeling loved. I feel protected when I’m with you, I feel like my soul is bound to yours, what do you think I’d do without you? I know that behind those green eyes of yours you hide a lot of pain, but there’s also the person I’m in love with, this gentle, loving caring person who’s dumb and hates pumpkins and mocks me for hating moths and…” Eiji kept rambling about how much he loved Ash and…

Notes:  Tada! I'm here again! I've written a longer piece this time! It feels rushed but I've had this idea in my head for a while and wanted to write about the girl, so here you have this piece of garbage. I feel like shit for having killed the girl even though this happens in canon but *sobs* KELLY ILYI'm gifting this work to my precious friend SabyPhantomhive because she has helped me with the beta, with the ideas and because i love her.Also I gave myself the rights to invent stuff and bend the canon please forgive me but I wanted to try it out!I hope everyone enjoys this, though! please, comments and kudos are really appreciated.See you in another fic <3 Also this contains heavey manga spoilers!

fic under the cut!

Ash knew he had a problem, he didn't want to let go. He should have accepted that Griffin left, that he had to leave, but he refused to. Griff was the only support he had ever had. His mother left after he was born, and his dad was not much of a dad. He preferred calling him “old man” because Jim had always neglected both Griffin and Aslan. That’s why when Griff turned 18 the two siblings started living together.

 Then everything fell apart. Griffin left. Ash killed for the first time. Was raped for the first time.

 Nobody believed him to be innocent until the truth about the Bluebeard of Cape Cod was found, but at that point, it didn’t matter to Ash anyway. He didn’t have anything to hold onto anymore, so he left for the streets. He was just a runaway kid, but he was better off on his own that in that cruel town full of garbage.

 Or so he thought until he turned 11 and Dino Golzine stripped him off the little remaining innocence he had. He began selling him as a sexual toy for old, perverted geezers as the likes of Dino himself. Ash felt terrified again, even more so than the first time. His abusers only wanted to take everything away from him; they even laughed when he started crying, sobbing, or inhaled sharply because of the pain he felt whenever they roughly pulled his blond hair.

 It was a never-ending nightmare that couldn’t possibly get worse.

 But it did when Dino brought him to his mansion and intended to turn him into his kind of “son”, if son meant sexually abused 14 years old who was forced to sleep with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight as if the sandman was going to enter his room.

 Dino wanted to make Ash his heir, or so he was mouthing about most of the time. Ash was pissed, hurt, but mostly pissed but because he had learnt that the only true emotion he could feel was rage. He was just angry, in those little occasions when he still had a little humanity left inside of him and could feel something, even if it was something feral as rage. It was still something.

 At least there was more than being beat up and forced to do things against his will in Ash’s life. It was truly saddening, that the only thing he could cling to was his street gang. Dino introduced him to one of the best street gangs in Manhattan, and contrary to what Ash thought, the guys were pretty loyal and hated the geezer’s guts, too. Downtown was in the palm of Ash’s hand and he would lie if he said he didn’t like -If that was the word- spending time with his mates. He couldn’t spend a lot of time with them because Marvin, the fat-ass, would show up and force him to return to the mansion.

 He would also rape him if he felt like it.

 In his world, every adult was perverted, sick in the head or overly disgusting. The only thing he had was remembering Griff and the people of his gang.

 Until there was a day when she came to his life.

 That day wasn’t anything special, he was just combing the area with his people because one of his friends had gotten his ass into trouble with some other gang and they had to look out for him.

  Fatal mistake. You must never let your guard down in Ash’s world. You don’t know how you could end up, and that was for both Bones and Ash.

 Bones had lost his teeth in a fight with the rival gang that had cornered him, and Ash had lost his cool temper when before he could even punch the guy who hurt Bones, someone knocked everyone out.

 It was a girl. Behind her there were another bunch of girls dressed quite similarly, but no one looked like her. The mysterious girl was wearing broken jeans, a large flannel plaid shirt and had light brown, short hair and ocean blue eyes.

 She looked,.. Incredible. The look on her face was so full of anger yet so full of life… Ash couldn’t believe himself.

 “This is our turf now.” the girl’s voice broke the silence and had everyone staring at her, agape. Excluding Ash, who was thoroughly examining her. “So you better leave. Don’t you think I’ll save your little friend’s ass every time he gets caught in trouble.” She chided, looking straight at Ash.

 Oh, so she was talking to him?

 “Excuse me, I’m sorry we interrupted your tea party.” Ash countered “Bones has his orientation up in his ass and lost himself. Besides, the ones invading your so called “turf” where the gang you just beat up, so congrats on that, I guess?” Ash mocked. He was going to have fun with this.

 “Hey” the girl said, stepping closer to Ash in that graffiti-filled alley “you better shut up or you will have your mouth up on your ass.”  The girl snapped. Oh, he liked her attitude.

 “Oh-“

 He couldn’t end his sentence. Marvin tracked him, -in the end, even though Ash tried to run away, Marvin always tracked him- and broke into their conversation. Ash knew that this would mean trouble because Marvin felt deep hatred and disgust towards girls, and seeing Ash practically one inch apart from one wasn’t going to be of his liking.

 Fuck. He had to get rid of the fat-ass, if he wanted to know more about that girl.

 Ash was already starting to give up the chase because Marvin was pulling at his t-shirt and he didn’t want his friends to suffer because of him again. They were the only good thing he had, he didn’t want them to die or something just because they were close to a street punk.

 And a murderer.

 “Kelly, what are you doing?!” A girl shouted.

 And everything happened within a second. Kelly shot Marvin on his right arm and grabbed Ash’s hand; everyone ran away and left Marvin there, cursing and screaming.

 That was something, Ash thought as he was running alongside Kelly. That was the first time someone stood up to him since Blanca started teaching him how to shoot and already defended him from Marvin; but Blanca was busy that week and had to leave New York for personal matters, so Ash was alone again.

  Kelly’s hand felt calloused. He was sure that she had fired a gun in more occasions than not, because she also looked older than him.

 Neither of them spoke for a while, they were still running until they crashed in a nearby park, which Ash assumed was a place Kelly knew. After all, she had been purposefully driving them both towards that direction.

 The park wasn’t that much of a park. It didn’t even look like one. There was grass, two or three trees and a lot of mud here and there. It was also quite small and it was located in a zone that wasn’t really transited. It was probably Kelly’s hideout.

 “Why did you bring me here?” Ash asked a few minutes after that, as if to break the silence. Besides, he really wanted to know why did she save him if she appeared to hate his guts (as most people did).

 “I don’t want more people to end up like me.” Kelly muttered under his breath. She was sitting in the grass, knees close to her chest, looking at the ground. The brunette was still panting, they had a really long run, even though nobody was chasing them. Kelly probably had to run like that in plenty of occasions, Ash suspected.

 “So now you’re a heroine and you’ve come to save me?” Ash mocked. He knew he shouldn’t have said that because Kelly had really saved him, but he was scared. Scared of attachment. Scared of having something more to hold onto.

 Because once you have something to treasure, you have something you don’t want to let go of, and Ash had had enough of this.

 “Shut up. I can tell you’re trying to be tough.” Kelly said lifting her head and inhaling a sharp breath, “That man, Marvin, wanted to abuse you, right?” She asked. And before Ash could muster up a witty response or the truth, she continued. “He won’t abuse me because he’s gay, I know him. But his brother had abused me a few times. He abducted me when I was 9, and one day, I killed him breaking a chair in his head and hit him until he was dead. After that, I stole his gun. Then I started living in the streets until I found the girls from my gang. Merry, the older one, taught me how to shoot. You know why Marvin looked at me that way? It wasn’t just because I am a girl. It was because he knew me, but he’s never tried to kill me since he wasn’t on good terms with his brother anyway. He probably hates my guts because he’s seen me with you.” Kelly rambled on. She really opened up to the blond.

 Her raw honesty and the pain in her voice ignited something in Ash.

 “I was raped when I was 7, and I killed my abuser when I was 8. Then I ran away from my town and old geezer Dino found me. Marvin is part of his people and he doesn’t let me breathe. Fuck, I am recently learning how to shoot thanks to a man hired by the geezer who is not that bad as for having been hired by that demon- and I’ve thought of killing him. Guess a murderer stays a murderer.” Ash bitterly chuckled the end of the sentence.

 “You’re talking to one of your kind, then.” Kelly chuckled, too. That was a beautiful sound.

 Ash was scared. They had barely met each other and he was already starting to believe he could like her. He felt something in her that he had never seen in anyone else. They had a similar past (sadly), but Kelly had a whole different attitude. She wasn’t a coward, she wasn’t scared, she wasn’t trying to put all her sadness inside her and play it off with an indifferent mask.

 “I see. That was a nice shot. I’ve barely started learning, but I bet I can shoot better than you.” Ash said, smugly.

 “I really doubt that.” Kelly cracked a smile while looking at Ash “Merry’s a really cool shooter and I’m a fast learner, you’d be surprised if I were to show you my full potential.”

 “Why don’t you show me, then?”

 “Why whould I?

“Because you told me I’d be surprised, and I want to be surprised.”

 “Nah, I don’t want to offend you by being better than you”

 “Then you don’t have to worry about anything because I assure you that you won’t be better than me.”

 And then Ash stood up and waved Kelly goodbye, since he had to reunite with his peers. As he was leaving the park, Kelly shouted to meet there the day after that at the same time, which Ash assumed by the position of the sun that it was around eight PM. Ash turned to look at Kelly’s dazzling smile, nodded and proceeded to return to his hideout.

 The day after that they met again, and Kelly was wearing the same clothes. Maybe she didn’t have a spare, or she just liked wearing that like Ash liked wearing his grey hoodie, who knows. Kelly was waiting for him with a smirk, twisting her gun in her hands with practiced expertise. Ash then confirmed that she was older and had experience with the usage of guns.

 Maybe he’d had to ask Merry to help him while Blanca was away.

 Or maybe not he thought as Kelly’s demanding “Get your ass down here!” brought him to reality. He had managed to escape from Marvin and the geezer and he was there, with someone who claimed to be a better shooter than him.

 “I’ve brought my gun.” Ash said “I don’t let anyone hold it.”

 “And would you let me hold it?” Kelly asked.

 “I don’t even know your name.” Ash countered. Their dynamic was entertaining and fun, he wasn’t used to that.

 “Excuse me? I’m the one who doesn’t know your name.” Kelly asked, pretending to be hurt.

 “Really? I thought everyone knew me because people use to hate my guts.” Ash let go.

 “Why do you think people know me, dude. They hate my guts too. I’m Kelly. Kelly Momsen, even though you know that already.”

 “Ash Lynx. And now could we get started?”

 Kelly grimaced but didn’t say a word, just piled up some junk for them to shoot at. Ash lost track of the time they spent there shooting stuff and laughing. He was genuinely having fun and he probably blushed a little bit when he looked at Kelly from the corner of his eyes and saw that focused expression of hers he knew he wouldn’t be able to take of his head anytime soon.

   Since that day, they spent three days seeing each other, because then Blanca would come back and Ash would have to follow his training again, but he always had some time to see his gang members so he could maybe pile up some time to see Kelly. Their activities together weren’t always shooting or talking about their past; he learned a bunch of new things about Kelly. The brunette was 15 years old, roughly a year older, even though she looked older than what she was. She was scared of thunderstorms because when she lived alone on the streets she felt like she would die any minute if a thunder struck her; she had an unbelievable weakness for cats (Kelly Momsen, the tough gang leader who could beat you into a pulp without even batting an eye, loved cute kittens. It was a fact). Kelly, too, learned things about Ash.

 Except the thing about the pumpkins. Screw him if he was ever going to tell that to anyone. Griff had already laughed at his face when he told him what happened that night. (He then ruffled his hair and whispered a soft I’s okay, Aslan, you’re safe now accompanied by one of Griff’s sweetest smiles). Griff’s smiles were always the sweetest. Hell, he really missed his brother. He didn’t want to let go of his hand when they parted ways… but he had to, there wasn’t any other option.

 A strong, growing fondness for Kelly was starting to grow inside of Ash, until the last day they had agreed to meet, Ash found Kelly’s corpse on the park. The green, almost yellow-ish grass was now red, stained with the blood of the person he thought he liked.

 Ash didn’t have to turn around to see who had committed such atrocity, but he did nevertheless to glare at the bastard.

 Marvin.

 I killed your little girlfriend. He said.

 It was his fault. Ash knew Marvin liked to follow him around, and he let himself grow attached to Kelly. And because he was this selfish and spent time with her…

 -

 “I couldn’t save her.” Ash said, his eyes saddening. Remembering this story always made him feel like shit. Sure, Marvin was dead (not by his hands, he couldn’t avenge Kelly) but he was dead, and Eiji was in his life.

 He didn’t know if he had to feel relieved or scared now that Eiji was in his life. Because back then, with Kelly, he thought he liked her, like, really liked her, because Kelly was amazing, but with Eiji, Ash knew he was in love. Ash’s eyes were welling up with tears. Why did everyone close to him had to suffer? He had lost count of how many times he had to ask himself that question.

 Eiji gazed at Ash, concern written all over his deep brown eyes. He was going to apologize again for asking about the girl, huh? Japanese people are always apologizing.

 “Are you feeling bad for me again?” Ash asked “The world won’t let me mingle with normal people anymore.”

 He was about to correct himself because Kelly wasn’t normal at all, but then Eiji had to intervene.

 “If me being here is a burden to you…” Eiji muttered. Ash was done with making Eiji feel bad. He should’ve gone to Japan before, or maybe he shouldn’t have met him in the first place. Ash didn’t deserve Eiji, and Eiji didn’t deserve this suffering.

 Ash had fallen for Eiji when he noticed his warmth; the warmth in his eyes, in his touch, in his promised forevers… in Eiji himself. Eiji Okumura was the definition of warmth.

 “No, it’s not that- forget it, I don’t want to fight.” Ash sighed. He had already fought with Eiji and felt bad enough for having lashed out at him once, he didn’t want it to happen twice.

 “Ash.” Eiji said, determined.

 Were they really going to fight again? The night before Ash was going to settle scores with Arthur? Please, no.

 “Stop acting like you’re the only one who feels this.” This?

 Shit.

 “What?” He asked. Bewildered. Eiji was much more keen and sharp that what he looked like, so… what if he knew?

 “This. Between us. I love you too, you know. You don’t have to act like you’re pushing me away to protect me.”

 “I… Eiji…”

 “Ash, you deserve this. Me. Feeling loved. I feel protected when I’m with you, I feel like my soul is bound to yours, what do you think I’d do without you? I know that behind those green eyes of yours you hide a lot of pain, but there’s also the person I’m in love with, this gentle, loving caring person who’s dumb and hates pumpkins and mocks me for hating moths and…” Eiji kept rambling about how much he loved Ash and…

 Well, you’re screwed. Ash thought. And so am I.

 “Eiji, you know what happened to that girl who was close to me, and she belonged to my world; which means that I can’t be with anyone, no matter from which world they are. You don’t belong here.” Ash bitterly let go.

 That was wrong and would probably make Eiji angry. Again. He was going to screw up again.

 Eiji stood up and sat at the couch, besides Ash, and put a hand on Ash’s trembling shoulders. Then Ash grabbed Eiji’s Hand and clasped it tightly.

 “Eiji. Don’t let go” He whispered against Eiji’s shoulders. The I love you was left unspoken as Eiji pressed a chaste kiss on Ash’s blond, beautiful hair. They didn’t have to say it. Eiji said it because he knew Ash was repressing his feelings, but between them, they really didn’t need to say it.

  –

Ash knows he has a problem, but... he dies letting Eiji go, because this is how it should be. Because he shouldn’t have even tried going to Japan. All the soft kisses and touches and embraces they shared after that night shouldn’t have happened. He shouldn’t have let himself attached to Eiji, but…

 Their souls would always be connected.

 –

Eiji knows he has a problem, he thinks, staring at Ash’s computer, but how was he supposed to let Ash go if his soul would always be with him?

 He still remembers the day he knew Ash had died. He still remembers how much he had hated Lao and how much he still has.

 But… he knows he can’t keep hiding Ash’s pictures forever. Because…

 Ash is alive inside his soul, after all

[sassysweetstories]

Rivalry //Shawn Mendes Series

Summary: You are a demigod that’s been brought to Camp-Half Blood in hopes to find yourself and learn more about your powers. In fear of being bullied, much like before, you intend to stay behind closed doors until there in no choice but to come out about who’s child you truly belong to. 

Ship: Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, fighting, swearing, fluff, blood, etc. 

Notes: none of these gifs are mine. i saw another fic about demigods and i wanted to try and make it a series. the thoughts been festering in my mind forever now. i hope you like it. (also, none of the demigods and gods are really related. because of the parents fucking around, it’s not legitimate in this series. I ALSO RECOMMEND YOU TO LISTEN TO THE PERCY JACKSON SOUNDTRACK WHILE READING THIS. IT’S SO COOL) 

Your P.O.V

Camp-Half Blood. There is was, staring back at me like some haunting horror movie scene. The outer perimeter only being lit by two burning fires alone gave me a strange mix of home despite the ominous setting. I belong here. I tell myself the same thought that I’ve been repeating the whole drive here. I belong here. This is the golden arches for the odd and weird kids, a place to feel accepted. A place where it’s okay to be different. Or, at least that’s what I was told. But I knew if there were teens here, people my age, there would still be judgement. There always is. And the trip here was nothing but ridiculous. This place seems to fall off the edge of the earth and right under the nose of humans. And yet, I feel a pull towards the location. I know in my heart that I belong. 

Despite the nerves that start to fester, I take a deep breath and walk forward. It’s dark and quiet but the second I pass through the veil, I feel a sense of comfort or warmth wash over me. You are safe here. It seems to say to me. Lugging my one suit case farther in, I find myself following the main pathway. That is until my eyes come across a centaur. He’s fucking huge, twice if not three times my height. "Mr. Brunner, I presume.” I say seriously. Everything about me screams business, not pleasure. But he ignores it and gallops up to shake my hand in mutual respect. “Please, call me, Chiron. You’ll be seeing me quite often. Might as well get on a first name basis.” I give him a hardy shake and follow him along the dark pathway, my heart beating with excitement and nerves. 

“Welcome to Camp Half Blood, (Y/n). I realize, as you’ve said before, that you do not want to disclose your parentage to anyone, but here in Camp Half Blood, we categories and home you according to your abilities. That is, until I realized who you belonged to-” He pauses, wary of his next words. “-We don’t get many rare demigods here, so in the interest of your discretion, and for you, and the safety of others, we will not disclose that information until it becomes absolutely necessary.” The second the words leave his mouth, I feel a weight being lifted off me. If anyone knew who I belonged to.. Gods, what a nightmare that would be. Mr. D continues to educate me on what exactly I would be doing here and the longer he spoke, the more excited I became. 

“Tomorrow (Y/n), I will personally show you around the facility, but for now I will take you to your living quarters, which are located not too far from the other kids but a good distance for privacy.” I want to look up at him and thank him but I’m so in awe by everything, I can barely form words. Instead I give him a small nod and unpack, mentally preparing for the next day to arrive. My house, since I’m the only one living in it, is a lot lighter than I thought it would be. It’s an odd mix of colors but nothing like I had anticipated. In one room it is black with shades of bright purple. In the other, it’s a vibrant orange/yellow with blue and green flowers the cover the ceiling which brought an odd contrast. It’s surprisingly warm and cosy despite my first wary impression. Everything about the room alone is far much nicer than I’d ever had. I can’t help but lean against my bed headboard and smile. I was home. 

The next morning I’m up bright and early, too excited to even hide it. I’m practically bouncing off the walls as I slip my shoes on. But the second Chiron shows up, I suppress it a little bit. I don’t wanna come off too strong, after-all. I’m not even outside before the sun is happily shinning down on us. The trees all gleam in delight under such warm and bright weather. I can’t help but smile at the sight. Birds fluttered above my head, singing their normal song. The trees around us sway against the wind and tower over my head like mountains. The longer we walk, the closer we come to the middle of the camp grounds. Kids of all ages and colors run by us in a hustle and bustle, not without giving me a once over, if not stare at me as if I had horns or something. 

For some reason, I’m something entirely new to them. It’s as if they know. Instead I stand up straighter, demanding respect and even scowl at some who dare to give me pointed looks. And instead of making the situation worse, I focus on Chiron’s words. “You will be training like the rest of the students. But before you get to that, you have a schedule with certain classes to obviously learn about your parents and the other gods here.” As we walk by, a boy with bright eyes and dirty blonde hair eyes me up and down like a piece of meat. He nudges his lacks and they look in my direction and have the audacity to howl at me. Instead of causing a scene, I clench my fists in frustration. Deep breaths. In and out. 

Finally pulling my gaze away from them, I can’t help but stand up straighter, as if I was trying to prove something to them. I can tell behind their cocky stares that their curious about me and what I can do. Who do I belong to and what I have to offer. But I hope they never find out. But all I know is that I do, in fact, belong. But if I wanted to show that, I would have to be on the field and in the classroom. My first class is Gods & Goddess and their powers. Before I even came to Camp Half Blood, I had always been fascinated by Greek mythology. 

I use to spend hours after school reading up on all sorts of stories only to find out I was the child of one them. Chiron escorts me to the class, if that’s not awkward enough. But when I enter, more than fifty kids look directly at me. I can practically feel their judgment filled expressions pressing down on me like an anvil. I suck in a breath of air, letting Chiron speak for me. “Professor Ryan, this is your new student, (Y/n) (Y/L/N).” I give him a hardly shake and give him my signature smile. I swear I hear a group of girls in the front sigh and swoon. Aphrodite kids, I’m sure. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Miss (Y/L/N). You can sit right next Mr. Underwood.” I glance up at the large college build lecture hall before my gaze falls on the satyr I saw early. He looks nice, giving me a warm and playful smile. I can’t help but return it because in all honesty, it’s quite contagious. When I take a seat, I pull out my hand for him to take. “(Y/n). Nice to meet you.” He grins and takes it before shaking it lightly. “Grover. Grover Underwood. Likewise!” It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Grover whispers comments at me the entire time, practically shit talking the professor. It takes everything in me to not burst out laughing. Once class is over though, we walk out together and the conversation flows comfortably. 

“Hey (Y/n), I wanna introduce you to my best friend, Percy Jackson.” A boy with ocean blue eyes waltz up to us, showing me an equally warm smile. I take his hand and give him a hardy shake. “Nice to meet you, Percy. Cool name. I’m (Y/n), (Y/n) (Y/L/N).” Percy is just as nice as Grover and they make me feel at home. He’s son of Poseidon apparently. Which took me by surprise. “You’ll meet the rest of the gang later. Until now, you’ll have to settle for us.” Percy says jokingly but I can already sense a slight insecurity. “I like your guys’ company just fine.” But the second the words leave my mouth, I see Percy and Grover ease up. The sight makes me chuckle. It was only the first day and I was already making friends. 

Grover has taken it upon himself to show me every nook and cranny of the camp, saying Chiron was an old fart who didn’t know any of their secrets. Pointing over to a warm pink lit dorm, he gave me a cheeky smile. “Aphrodite’s daughters. Hello ladies!” He gives them a wave and some of them giggle in response. I’d be lying if I said none of them were attractive. The art of beauty and seduction was always something they perfected apparently. Some even wink at me as we walk by. I can’t help but blush as we shuffle across the way. “Aphrodite’s daughters are nothing but wild, especially in the sheets. Stay away from them. Or don’t. I mean, I don’t stay away, haha. Not far from them is Athena, girls and boys are separated but that doesn’t stop us much. You’ll meet Annabeth later. She’s a child of Athena.”

We make our way over to the dueling field and the girl he was talking about, whom I believe is Annabeth, is dueling with three other opponents. I watch in awe as she beats them with ease, not a bead of sweat to cover her gorgeous features. I can’t help but gape as she strides over to us, looking nothing but powerful. “That was amazing.” I spew out before my mind could even think. Before she seemed more cold and wary, but the longer she eyes me, the more at ease she becomes. “Thank you. I’m Annabeth.” I take her hand, still gaping. “I’m (Y/n). That was incredible. Can you teach me how to do that?” She laughs at my genuine awe. “Of course, in due time. We have to meet up with the others.” 

“The others?” I can’t help but ask in curiosity. They all smile as Grover spoke. “Luke and Shawn. Luke tags along with us occasionally but he mainly sticks to the more jock type crowd, ya know? He’s more brutes than he is brains. But don’t tell him I said that. Besides, he only sticks around with us because he fancies Percy.” Percy shakes his head, chuckling lightly as we walk down a different pathway. “He’s my friend. They’re both really great. You’re gonna love Shawn. He’s super chill but can be a bit cocky at times. He’s also got a killer voice. Shawn might seem a bit off but he’s pretty down to earth-” Annabeth practically snorts. “And he’s not a dick like Luke.” I can’t help but laugh at the comments being made towards the young boy. “Is Luke the one with dirty blonde hair? I may have seen him this morning howling at me. What a douche.” They snort at my comment before nodding. 

We head over to the weapons hall and as we enter, I can’t help but gape in awe. Weapons from all shapes and sizes layer each side of the walls, some even attached to the ceiling. Running my hand over some, I can’t help but smirk at the glint of light they all give off. “Beautiful, ain’t she? You’ll start combat soon but before you get your hands dirty, you’re gonna need a weapon, eh?” Grover says to me, motioning for everyone to follow him. We do so and listen to the folk lore behind all of the swords and knives without homes. That was until a bright black shine caught my gaze. Without realizing it, I drifted away from the group to get a better look at it. Black as night, the sword stretches a good few feet with a dark red leather handle and small, thin white swirls etched across the blade. 

I feel a pull towards the blade, like it was meant for me. I’m so enthralled by it’s treacherous beauty I almost don’t hear the manager comment, “Gorgeous, isn’t she. Five carbon steel, practically unbreakable, with a dark red handle that’s both comfortable yet firm enough to grip.” I graze the outside of the handle and smile at the sensation. That was until the manager commented, “I wouldn’t try to pick it up. It’s the heaviest weapon we’ve got and you look pretty nimble.” I could stand men trying to down grade women. Instead of listening to his warning, I take the sword with one hand and lift, expecting it to be heavy for my too “nimble body” but instead it practically floats under my touch. I twirl it around and it feels like I’m holding air. “Are you sure it’s the heaviest? It feels light to me.” 

The look on his face is nothing but priceless. Jaw dropped to the floor, face white he manages to scrape the last bit of testosterone he had and heads to the front. I take the sword with a smile, intending to check out before I came to an abrupt halt. The blonde douche I saw early, Luke, I believe, was speaking to another boy in a hushed manor behind a stack of knives. He had chocolate brown hair and equally as appealing eyes. “I don’t know Luke.. We don’t know anything about her-” He said softly, scanning over the weapons. Luke replied hastily. “She could be a great ally when we have the battle Friday.” The chocolate haired hunk scoffed. “We don’t even know if she can fight yet! Nor do we know of her abilities! What could she possibly offer for the win?!” Luke rolled his eyes and nudged the boys arm jokingly but he didn’t seem to enjoy it. “Don’t worry. With my suave persona, she’ll be confessing everything in no time. We’ll win this fight Friday, Shawn.” 

Were they talking about me? They must be. Quickly and quietly, I slip away from them without making a peep and head to the check-out line. “Looks like you found one!” Percy exclaimed happily, eyeing my weapon of choice. Annabeth nods her head with pride. “That’s a beautiful sword. You’re sure about it though? Once you choose a weapon, it becomes like your mate.” Percy and Grover share a confused glance before shrugging at me. I look down at it with my own sense of pride, happy with my choice before nodding. “Yeah, I’m sure.” Percy’s eyes wander to someone over my shoulder. “SHAWN! LUKE!” He exclaims, smiling at the two. I don’t make eye contact with them yet. Instead I hand over my sword to pay. 

The cashier nearly drops the sword, half dragging it across the floor to scan the price-tag along with the belt attachment. “Do you need help?” I ask, trying not to smile at his struggling state. He puffs and curses under his breath, arms bulging in hopes to lift the weapon I’ve handed to him. “Nope, ugh, I- I’m f-fine-” The interaction has unfortunately caught the groups attention and Grover can’t help but ask, “(Y/n), did you get the biggest one?!” I glance over at him and nod. “Yeah, what can I say, I like big things.” The sentence was meant to be a casual response but all four of the boys turned bright red with embarrassment while Annabeth burst out laughing at their reactions. As I’m about to look back at the cashier, my gaze meets Shawn’s. 

His eyes are bright despite being a chocolate brown. They almost have a flicker of light to them. One I can’t particularly describe. He’s different, I can feel it. I give him a small smile which he returns with a mediocre smirk. “Hun, why don’t I take that before you pull a muscle-” I wrap the holder around my waist and tie it before taking the sword from him. He sighs, almost happy to not have to carry its gargantuan weight any longer. But before I can slip my beautiful weapon into its case, Luke saunters up to me with a cocky grin. “You must be the beautiful, (Y/n). I’m Luke. Would you like me to carry that for you?” Annabeth and I exchange a knowing look. What did this boy expect from me? To just drop my panties cause he decided to be nice? Pff. 

I give him the fakest, most innocent smile I could before sighing sweetly. “Oh my gosh, that is so sweet. Thank you.” I take a step back and toss the blade at him. He lefts out an “Oof!” before falling to the ground, coughing and grunting as he attempts to hold the weight up. I walk around his immobile body and stick my hand out for Shawn to shake. “I’m (Y/n). Nice to meet you.” The moment he takes it, I feel a shock run through my body, itching up and down my spine before it dissipates. What the hell was that? “I’m Shawn. Likewise.” When he lets go of my hand, his is warmer than when we first touched. I wonder if I rubbed off on him? He glances down at me with wonder and curiosity. We duel with our eyes, examining one another before looking away.

I strut over to Luke who is still thrashing on the floor before I lift my sword off him with one hand. He sighs in relief, taking massive breaths of fresh air to accommodate for the ones that have been taken from him. Sheathing my blade, I look back at Annabeth with an innocent smile. “Annabeth, hun. Would you like to go practice dueling?” She laces her arm through mine, waving at the boys as we walk out. “I think we’re gonna be very good friends.” I can’t help but laugh with delight at her statement, feeling the boys eyes follow us the whole way out. I can’t help but look back at Shawn and ponder. Who does he belong to? 

Annabeth and I head out to the battle arena to change and practice fighting. “So-” I say while adjusting my gear. “-who are Luke and Shawn’s parents.” Annabeth tosses me another accessory for combat before replying. “Well, Luke is Hermes kid. You wouldn’t have guessed it but he, like most kids, hate their parents. He despises his dad, which is understandable. And for some odd reason, he gets super defensive and competitive when it comes to battles. Thinks he has to prove something to someone because he thinks his parent isn’t the strongest. It’s all about titles to him.” 

I nod along to her words but ask about the other boy, not caring much about the first. “And Shawn? What about him?” She talks while she ties her boots. “Well I think Luke just hangs out with Shawn because of his parental title-” I sheath my sword, standing up straighter. “What do you mean? Who is his parent?” When she looked back at me, I expect her to tell me the name of a small god but instead it’s someone who rattles me. “He’s the son of Zeus.” I drop my shoe in shock, nearly dropping the rest of my stuff. Annabeth laughs. “Yeah. He usually has that affect on women.” I scoff, shaking my head before resting my hands on my hips. “Pff. No! I was just surprised. Um, that’s pretty rare, isn’t it?” 

She nodded, grabbing her sword before following me out onto the battlefield. “Yeah, it is. Percy and him are the only two sons of the big three. There hasn’t been a third son but I’m hoping it’s a girl. I think Luke is using Shawn and Percy’s friendship to get ahead during the trials and fights. It’s vile.” I nod along to her voice. She was definitely Athena’s kid, brilliant and tactical. “Okay so, what are you gonna teach me so that I’ll be prepared. I want to be as good as you.” Annabeth took a few steps back, stretching her muscles. “That might take some time.” I drew my sword and grinned up at her. “I’m a good learning.” Before I knew it, she ran towards me and our swords crashed together. “Let’s get started.” 

Annabeth is a brutal teacher but she’s nothing like Ares teachers. They’re ruthless and cruel, just like their god father. I half expect them to have sharp teeth. We practice for nearly two days straight I almost don’t notice it’s been that long. With only fruits, vegetables and water to keep us going, we keep fighting. It’s nothing but exhilarating. We’re dueling and running circles around one another so much I barely acknowledge the ever growing crowd that’s decided to make their way towards us, intrigued by our fight and what we have to offer, what I have to offer. I barrel towards her, dodging whatever attacks she intends to throw my way before slamming my sword down on her. When they clash, sparks fly. Our faces a mere few inches apart as we growl at one another before separating again. 

“How long have they been going at it?” I hear Percy ask Grover. To which he responded with. “Two days straight. A few breaks here and there but I’ve never seen someone hold a fight with Annabeth and not fall over. It’s incredible.” Luke and Shawn stand near the other two boys, watching us closely. I almost feel bad for Shawn but I’m then reminded that I don’t really know him. “Getting tired yet?” Annabeth asks me with a shit-eating grin. I stand up straighter with an equally as warming smile before getting into my fighting position. “Not even close.” The sounds of our swords clashing together echoed all throughout the camp. There wasn’t one person who knew we were fighting. She slams her sword down and instead of hitting me, smashes the grass. 

I turn over my shoulder to dodge her attack before making one of my own. When I reach my sword out, hers matches my movements. The tips threatening to cut the others throat. “You’re a fast learner.” She says, smiling up at me. We mutually sheath our weapons and examine the others sweaty state. “Gods, I need a shower.” I say, wiping off the sweat that dripped down all parts of my body. “I think the boys disagree.” Turning over my shoulder to see what she meant, Luke stares at me like I’m a prize, like I’m meat to be won over. Grover and Percy look at me as friends do, with pride. But I can’t quite pin Shawn’s facial expression. His is a mixture of things. Some I can’t read, others I can. It’s pride for a friend but with a hint of attraction, lust. “I think you’ve caught the golden boys eye.” 

I eye him up and down and watch as he does the same for me. I can’t help but take Annabeth’s previous words into consideration. If this battle is as important to Luke as she says it is, than how important is Shawn to him. What does he have to offer? What are his powers? Do they have limits? What if Shawn isn’t as innocent as people believe him to be? What if he’s just as wrapped up about the hierarchy as Luke is? Annabeth and I head over to the showers, very much in need of some soap. But the whole time I can’t help but ponder that all of this seems to dive deeper than I think. 

(I hope you guys liked it! This is just the introduction to the series. I think I’m gonna make it a 2-3 parter series. Comment below! I love suggestions and feedback!)

[briteboy]

WOW I’M FINALLY DOING THESE CHARACTER ASKS I NEVER ANSWERED SORRY

this is literally so long RIP me

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

rooney - “So...this is going to sound bad, but during my childhood, I spent my summers in France, and whenever we’d take trips to Paris I had this habit of stealing little knick-knacks from different shops...often little tourist-y things, kind of just a challenge for myself to see if I’d get away with it. I always did, and I kept it up throughout my teen years. I know, it’s bad. I lost most of the stuff, but I still have a lot of it and they’re all special to me even though I got them by very immoral means...gimme a break, I was a kid! Oh, and I also really treasure my grand-mere’s family recipes. And my tea garden, of course.”

gianni - “Truthfully, I don’t tend to value material things...I try to minimize my attachment to personal belongings so that I’d be able to get up and go anywhere with a moment’s notice if I wanted to. That being said, however, I do have quite a hefty collection of books that I’d probably miss if they were to perish in some disaster. I also have an incredibly unorganized collection of personal writings that I’d hate to part with...even though I can’t even begin to sort through them all in the first place.”

santi - “letters...a bong shaped like an elephant...but most of the important things stay in my head.”

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

rooney - “When I was five I climbed an apple tree and fell about 10 feet and landed right on my back. It knocked the wind out of me and then an apple fell on my head and I had a bump on my forehead for a month, much to Audrey’s amusement. I’ve also suffered a lot of twisted ankles due to clumsiness.”

gianni - “I used to do a lot of sports in my youth, so injuries were like second nature to me...I must’ve broken every extremity at least once. They probably never healed right, either, because I was never one for resting.”

santi - “just one? well...i got into a pretty bad car accident once. no wait, okay okay, how about the time i wiped out so bad at the skate park that i broke my toe and the bone was literally sticking out? that was pretty good. or the time i broke my...nah nevermind, no one wants to hear about that. just take my word of advice: be careful in the cowgirl position, folks”

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

rooney - “I used to have a recurring nightmare where I’d be in a car that was driving except there was no driver. Every time I’d panic and take the wheel, except I didn’t know how to drive...I don’t remember anything past that, just that every time it happened, I woke up with my heart racing. I probably stopped having those dreams when I actually learned to drive, haha!”

gianni - “I periodically have dreams where I’m sucked into the couch into an alternate dimension. Some of them have turned into nightmares, but most are just bizarre.”

santi - “ha.”

(lmfao this b*tch)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

rooney - “Probably just...‘I love you.’ No matter who I’d be saying it to...I’d just like to think the last words that leave my lips would be full of love. Unless, of course, I was brutally murdered by some serial killer. Then it’d probably be ‘Vete a la verga culero.’”

gianni - “’It’s all happening.’”

santi - “‘hey...wanna see a dead body?’”

32. Pet peeves?

FIRST OF ALL I’M SO GLAD YOU SENT THIS FOR BB FIONA OMG ;__; I CRY

anyway fiona’s pet peeves are line cutters, bad liars, commercials, when someone uses up all the peanut butter and forgets to throw the jar away, when people sugarcoat things or skirt around the truth, and when people call her fifi. do not ever call her fifi.

57. What D&D alignment are they?

OOOOOH FUCK YEAH fiona would be...honestly i think she’d be lawful evil lmao. or chaotic neutral. somewhere in between the two.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

fart jokes 100%. 

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

santi - getting caught streaking in boarding school and sub-sequentially losing a bet to drako. or spilling coffee beans all over himself in an attempt to impress a cute waitress at the bakery he worked at 🙃

gianni - when he first met rooney’s parents he had just begun learning spanish and tried to say he was embarrassed for spilling a drink on himself in all his nerves but accidentally used the word “embarazada”, thinking it meant embarrassed. so instead of saying “estoy muy avergonzado” (i am very embarrassed) he said “estoy muy embarazada” (i am very pregnant.) rooney’s dad had a good laugh out of that one.

rooney - most of rooney’s embarrassing moments are borne from her clumsiness. one time in middle school she tripped over thin air in front of her crush and rolled all the way down a hill and got a black eye from hitting her face on a rock at the bottom. she’s beauty she’s grace

lou - lou is one of those people who refuses to be embarrassed because she hates showing weakness. so if something embarrassing happens to her she’ll shrug and brush it off even if she’s secretly dying inside. often she’s always one step ahead, so if anything, she’ll be the one to catch you in the act and embarrass you.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

rooney - i think it goes without saying, gianni. audrey and her parents, and maisie and mars as well because she's learning the ropes of parenting through the way audrey interacts with them. her bffs 5ever, eli and cosmic <3 also idiot boy santi because in a way she is a lot like him, though not as lost. they help each other out when they’re in similar mindsets.

gianni - rooney of course, his parents, his bb boy santi ;-; all of his old dorm mates at boarding school, and his little one on the way (same goes for rooney)

santi - gianni, rooney, avey, his family even though he would fake his death in order to avoid them, his old dorm mates, eli and yes-- even miyu, lion-hearted girl, la pelirrojita, and.............fiona, above all. ;_____;

lou - fiona, her mother, audrey (and the rest of the wallace fam, but especially audrey because she works at the bakery with her), and.........orejudo.

20. Fears?

LMFOADSKGJKD 420 PLS I H8 U...i already did 4 so u just get 20 SORRY

santi has...a lot of fears. lmao. in fact, they kind of dictate everything he does, in case you couldn’t tell by his debilitating anxiety. rejection, failure, loneliness, disappointing his loved ones, confirmation that he really is as terrible a person as he thinks he is...and hurting the people he loves. that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

rooney - one time her grandmother made her eat tripe. never again. she also used to eat bugs for money and candy when she was a kid.

gianni - he’ll try literally anything at least once, so he’s eaten a lot of weird shit. one time drako dared him to eat haggis. no ragrets

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

rooney - constant cuddler. she attaches herself to gianni’s body and makes it impossible for him to turn in the middle of the night. it’s okay, he doesn’t mind.

gianni - he spreads out and takes up the entire bed and somehow messes up the sheets and the covers in the process. rooney doesn’t need that much space when she’s constantly spooning him anyway tho

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

rooney loooooves egyptian food and middle eastern food. she always looked forward to taking trips to morocco when she lived in spain because they had the best food. she also has a weakness for lebanese cookies. and gianni is a big fan of indian food...but his mama’s lasagna has always been his favorite ;-;

19. Are they right or left handed?

both rooney and gianni are right handed! but gianni is trying to teach himself to be ambidextrous...emphasis on trying.

21. Favorite kind of weather?

rooney - sunny, blustery days where you can hear the trees whispering.

gianni - he loves the scorching heat of summer like nothing else.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

rooney - sunset

gianni - sunrise (he’s weird)

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

both rooney and gianni are messy people...that’s why their house is so cluttered. RIP

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

rooney and gianni both believe in supernatural things. rooney’s a lot more into it and will believe superstitions whereas gianni is a bit more practical, although he also accepts that there won’t be answers for everything and some phenomenons are just unexplainable. 

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

rooney usually throws a star wars party because her birthday is may 4th. it’s usually her, gianni and santi, but also sometimes eli, miyu and audrey as well. last year they marathonned the OT and played a star wars drinking game (take a shot every time luke whines lmao)

gianni takes his bbys on a camping trip every year for his birthday, as you saw last year hehe

86. Do they like sweet foods?

rooney definitely has a sweet tooth. but she has a unique taste in desserts and likes to try new things, especially from different cultures. and if it’s too sweet, she won’t like it. gianni doesn’t really, but he does make an exception every time he visits the wallace’s bakery.

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

santi definitely prefers hot to cold. he tries to preserve summer for as long as he can. it makes him feel like a phoenix starting anew.

36. Least favorite smell?

santi’s least favorite smell is probably the weird smell your pee gets after you eat a lot of asparagus. also artificial candle smells that are so sweet they’re gagworthy.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

he kind of gets grossed out because it reminds him of that scene in matilda where the fat kid eats the entire chocolate cake. but then he’d probably eat it anyway because hey it’s cake!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

santi - NO lmao. well...it fluctuates. it was good for a while...now he’s stuck again.

lou - she wants to be happy but she won’t let herself be because she feels an impending sense of letdown. she always gets let down.

29. Are they a morning person?

santi - hell fckin no lmao

lou - not if she can help it. both she and fiona hate waking up in the morning to get fi ready for school. but they suffer for the sake of education

30. Sunrise or sunset?

santi- sunset, always sunset (i think i answered that before but whatev)

lou - sunrise. she’s only seen one once in her life, so it’s a pretty special time to her. but referring to the last question, she’s not a morning person, so...

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

santi is messy as fuck. but we knew that. lou tries to stay as organized as possible, but sometimes she just gets overwhelmed and lives in the mess for a little while.

32. Pet peeves?

santi - when you only get like one wonton in your wonton soup, remembering something specific that’s just on the tip of your tongue but never quite getting it, that level of drunk/high where you start to feel yourself coming down and you realize just how lackluster everything is again.

lou - talking in circles, bullshit, repeating herself, family feud episodes that don’t feature steve harvey as the host, dirty dishes and bad reception.

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

already answered this for santi aheh

but lou treasures the few baby pictures she has of fiona because she wasn’t able to afford a camera or even a nice phone at the time. ;-;

34. Least favorite food?

santi - lobster. he fucking hates lobster. also those cheap chocolates with the cherry inside, blech. also not a fan of mushrooms.

lou - PEEPS. she ate too many one easter as a kid and now she gags at the sight of them. oh and tomatoes.

35. Least favorite color?

santi - grey, but not silver. he likes silver.

lou - chartreuse. and most shades of green. she only likes one very specific shade of blue-toned green.

36. Least favorite smell?

already did this for santi ohoho

as for lou, she can’t stand the smell of bacon. it’s too overpowering. it’s fine at first but then it gets to be too much, and she doesn’t even care for bacon anyway. also that garbage smell the periodically wafts through the air in the city, especially when you’re driving through new jersey lmao

37. When was the last time they cried?

santi? who tf knows. he’s always crying. he’s probably crying as we speak. lou, though...she hates crying. it makes her feel vulnerable. if she cries in front of you, it’s the real deal. especially if u make her cry...then wow. ur a monster

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

U ALREADY KNOW THIS ABOUT SANTI. but lou...probably not. she’s kind of a loner, especially when showing that side of herself :{

[xottzot]

2018-09(AUG)-12th--August--Sunday---WA NEWS-------in pain-strange events-illegal motobikes tearing around-Watchers oblivious as usual....

2018-09(AUG)-12th--August--Sunday---WA NEWS-------in pain-strange events-illegal motobikes tearing around-Watchers oblivious as usual....

Firstly, my LAST blog entry should have been marked as "2018-09(AUG)-11th--August--Saturday---"...I think I got the day wrong, but the date itself was right.

------------------------------------------------

Now...after admitting THAT mistake, now lets get onto THIS blog entry of mine on Sunday 12th of August 2018......

At around 4:30pm, an unregistered offroad motorbike with a young female passenger also on its back behind the young male adult, it VERY QUIETLY arrived at Mitchells old house and snuck in trying no to draw any attention to themselves.

Not long ago before they arrived there skulking in, there WAS a watcher vehicle parked in the usual location, and it was probably Western Australian Police or authorities......but because they left, they DID NOT SEE the illegal offroad motorbike arrive there.

All during today there has been on and off Police sirens chasing ?

At Mitchells old place there was not just one offroad motorbike but possibly TWO, one being hidden, stashed away into one corner of the yard behind the ramshakle but tall fence. THEY would explain the loud Police and their Police sirens today giving chase and trying to appehend them.

Perhaps the unmarked Watcher car was there to try to catch them as well? - It left after considerable time parked in the usual surveillance location that has been used for so MANY YEARS surveilling the criminal aboriginals of this hellhole. But those criminal aboriginals has one house of them 'moved out' as their house is being rebuilt because they destroyed it so utterly. Whilst over the road from them at Fatguts place, THAT place 'looks' deserted and has a pile of rubbish from their yards dumped out on the front street verge for close to a week now or more. (it's being slowly picked over by roaming scavengers).

Last night and early this morning, there was the loud Police siren(s) chasing ? - I didn't see them but I certainly heard them. This is a constant seasonal thing, offroad (unlicensed and unlicencable for road use?) motorobikes tearing all about just before there's going to be days of rain coming and settling in, which is the weather forecast for this hellhole area.

So that motorbike was ridden in to be hidden at Mitchells old place, probably in a shed out the back, and then the male returned to the hidey spot behind the fence and wheeled-in the second motorbike. - The Police once again have NO IDEA at all. And THAT PLACE is the SAME place just recently that Police were giving chase in these streets right here in these streets after one was ridden out of THAT PLACE and off on the roads and then the Police gave chase with sirens and lights...... - Dunno what happened about THAT episode.

Season crime occurs like clockwork seasonally at this hellhoel area.

At the corner shops area, it strangely did NOT seem to be criminally damaged or broken into last night as 'usually' does.

ALSO....yesterday?, TWO motorbikes were ALSO taken out of hiding for their backyard and they then both were tearing about on the roads from the onset of darkness and then later at night that day they returned and they too were hidden away out in the backyard.

And roaming unmarked Police cars cruising about just drive straight past......probabaly why today the unmarked Watcher vehicle was stationed for HOURS watching the street.

And AS ALWAYS about this hellhole area, as SOON AS THE WATCHER VEHICLE GOES AWAY...the shitheads 'magically' appear....THIS has been going on for YEARS AND YEARS at this hellhole area. It USED to be watching the very criminal and VERY violent aboriginals but now (just as I forecasted and have been for YEARS), now there is a seemingly 'lull' in THEM being responsible for so much shit...the non-aboriginals rise up and then its THEIR TURN to take their criminal places.

Dear Fliss I'm sorry to say saw all this kinda stuff herself for many years.

------------------------------------------------

I've had a very strange occurence that's been happening apparently for days this past week at least, probably longer. I don't want to say what, because nobody believes me anyway. And I don't want to bring it to the attention of shitheads. - Dear Fliss would understand.

If I dare to tell anyone else, they WILL NOT believe me despite it being the absolute truth and I still have the proof to show but nobody fucking well cares so what's the fucking point......

------------------------------------------------

My injuries have been giving me hell the past few days and are about to get worse and give me more pain on top of terrible pain.

My only temporary relief is to be unconscious and sleeping, but I wake up a LOT in pain. AND...I can never ever 'sleep-in' because I'm constantly having to have to take care of things about this hovel and to take care of poor Sam and poor Max who are in despair and worse. (I'm not giving YOU any details since you don't care.)

------------------------------------------------

By staff writers -- 12 August 2018 — 11:33am

NEWS bits:--------- (and YOU wonder why there's so many sirens mentioned all the time in my blog.....?)

WA NEWS:----- Gosnells teen, woman charged after stolen loot found buried in backyard

https://www.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/gosnells-teen-woman-charged-after-stolen-loot-found-buried-in-backyard-20180812-p4zx0p.html

-------------------------------

By AAP -- 12 August 2018 — 8:41am

WA NEWS:--------- Teenager charged after girl, 16, dies in alleged hit-and-run crash

https://www.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/teenager-charged-after-girl-16-dies-in-alleged-hit-and-run-crash-20180812-p4zwzp.html

-------------------------------

By staff writers -- 11 August 2018 — 8:43am

WA NEWS:---------

11 August 2018 --- Boy found dead in shed fire is 16 year old boy, police confirm

-------------------------------

Australian social NEWS:------- Does facing death teach us how to live a richer life?

https://www.watoday.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/does-facing-death-teach-us-how-to-live-a-richer-life-20180809-p4zwfo.html

-------------------------------

PerthNow -- August 12, 2018 7:59AM

WA NEWS:--------- Police lay charges over crash that killed Esperance teen Kaitlyn Scott

https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/crime/police-lay-charges-over-crash-that-killed-esperance-teen-kaitlyn-scott-ng-b88925628z

-------------------------------

I love you dear Fliss and so VERY MUCH want to be with you. - So does poor Sam and poor Max. Sam has again been having howling nightmares (literally howling in his sleep). Max has become VERY sad and morose and sullen. - The chicken saved and brought home here by YOU many years ago is the ONLY one left, since all our others have ALL DIED, and it is also sullen and despondent and crying our for attention all the time, which I also try to give it. -- It's a rare gap in wet weather but all THAT wet weather crap is about to once again be a constant to this hell and hellhole. It's COLD.

Getting dark....it's time for the roaming crimnals to be criminal...and they are already roaming about in noisy cars....

I love you dear Fliss and so VERY VERY MUCH want to be with you.

[jimdsmith34]

5 Ways Adults See Their Best Memories Turn Into Nightmares

I’ve talked before about how, despite what adults tell you, your teens are not the best years of your life. There are some pretty awesome things that happen during that period, but your enjoyment of them has nothing to do with a lack of bills or not having to support a family. That’s what an adult says when they’re fed up with the stress of their own lives and projecting it onto yours. It’s short-sighted and idiotic. Suck it, mom.

It has everything to do with the little milestones that represent growing chunks of freedom. They are, in essence, rites of passage that mean you’re putting your teenage years behind you. You’re escaping. When they happen, you’ll mentally log those as some of the funnest times in your life. Then, when you get older, you’ll flip through your skull’s Dewey Decimal System, pull up those memories … and be absolutely goddamn horrified when you picture your own kids doing seemingly insignificant things like …

#5. Getting Their First Job

Why It’s Important:

Aside from just straight up giving your parents the finger and moving out of the house, getting your first job is the ultimate transition from adolescence into adulthood. If you work a night shift, curfew is more flexible. You likely have your own car, or will soon be buying one, so you’re not dependent on mom or dad’s level of sobriety in order to drive you places. If parents are the ones buying your clothes and entertainment, they likely have a say in what you get, so a job frees you up from all of that. It’s your money. You’ll buy a katana if you want to, goddammit.

In the general public’s idea of “adulthood,” the word “job” is more important than “age.” And it should be. I have 40-year-old relatives rotting away in prison right now because smoking foils and stealing shit was more important to them than seeing their kids graduate high school. Those people aren’t adults. The adults in their families are the kids who figured out this one basic financial formula: “Work for the shit I need. Save for the shit I want. Oh, and don’t fuck with meth.”

Don’t vape, either. It makes you look like a twat.

Why It Scares The Shit Out Of Parents:

Up until this point, the only real authority figures in your lives have been parents and teachers. Cops don’t really count unless you’re a sociopath, and even then, there’s not a lot they can do to punish minors. But when you make that transition into the working world, you have a brand-new set of second parents in the form of supervisors and managers. And as adults, we know that most of those are clinical assholes.

We’re not so much concerned about the way they treat you as humans. We know from experience that your life is going to be like that Harry Potter scene where they’re trapped in that vault and all of the treasure starts reproducing. Except instead of gold and silver goblets, it’s an unceasing explosion of assholes. An asshole geyser, if you will. We’re more worried that you’re still in the process of learning how to be a socially functioning human, and we don’t want some power-tripping dickhead influencing how you perceive and treat the rest of the world.

We’ve had our own jobs as teenagers, and we know that there are employees who steal and get away with it. We don’t want them teaching you how to do that, because if you get caught, you’re screwed. And even if you don’t get caught, you’re a piece of shit. We know that there are bosses who can easily make you think that the correct way to manage is to scream, curse, and throw tantrums. Or on the other end of that spectrum are managers who let employees get away with things that would get their asses fired in a more serious “adult” job.

“… the FUCK outta here!”

No, it’s not that we’re afraid of how they’ll treat you. We’re afraid of what they could turn you into. Seventeen years of hard work teaching you the right thing can be undone with a single dose of the unfiltered world. I’ve seen it happen. And yeah, I know that not all kids are precious little angels just waiting to be corrupted by the cruel, remorseless world. But the more rebellious, anti-authority kids tend to learn a lot quicker when they come to work in a bad mood, tell their boss to go fuck himself, and then watch their work history collapse for the next five years. That’s a whole new set of fears, because if that kid has already started paying for his or her first car and then loses their job … congratulations, parents! You just added a new car payment to your budget.

Oh, and speaking of cars …

#4. Driving A Car On Their Own For The First Time

Why It’s Important:

It’s a car. Come on. You just spent the last few months in driver’s ed, learning all of the rules that everyone ignores the second they start driving on their own. You spent the (in my state) 40 hours of mandatory driving with a parent in the passenger seat. Not all at once. That would be silly. You’re silly. Stop being silly.

You sillyass.

Every little imperfection has been pointed out while we held your hand through the process. You’ve sat through dozens of lectures from teachers, parents, aunts, and uncles — and if you’re crazy rich, that sweet talking car from Knight Rider — explaining how the world is full of bad drivers, and you should always be looking out for “the other guy.” Always wear your seat belt. Never, ever, eeeever drink and drive. Don’t even take a chance with your cellphone. Just turn that shit off. If you try to merge while eating an egg salad sandwich, your face will fall off.

Those are deviled eggs, dipshit. Those are fine.

Finally, all of that bullshit is over with. It’s time to grab the keys, put on your awesome NASCAR helmet with flames painted down the sides, and hit the open road. No more lectures. No more, “How many times have I told you to HIT THE FUCKING BRAKES when you turn a corner?!” Eat me, Grandma. This is my world, now.

Why It Scares The Shit Out Of Parents:

The most obvious reason is that you are piloting a machine that will end you before you even have time to shit your pants. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t know someone who died in a car accident. The not-so-obvious reason, unfortunately, is one of trust. Both of you and everyone else in the entire world. Sorry, but I’m going to get all real up in your shorts for a minute. That’s a thing kids say, right?

The truth is that we’ve seen you at your dumbest. If my oldest son is reading this, understand that I’m not calling you dumb as an individual. I’m talking in a blanket sense. Ask any adult you want about whether or not they considered themselves smart and worldly as a teenager, and they’ll laugh you out of the room. “Oh Christ, no. I was dumb as owl shit.” One time I jumped from the top of a two-story barn into a snow drift that was only two feet deep because I thought it would be fluffy and soft. It was not. My brother once wondered if hairspray would still ignite if it was dry, and set a girl’s head on fire. Neither of those statements are jokes.

It makes me feel better to remember it like this.

We’ve seen the dumb shit you do, and we shudder when we think about the stuff we haven’t seen. The idea that you could space out for even a few seconds while driving a car sends us into a blind panic. Then add on top of that the idiocy of every other person who exists outside of your windshield. People blowing through red lights at full speed. Drunk drivers. Little kids sprinting out into the street to chase down a ball. In my part of the country, we have suicidal deer as big as ponies.

So it’s not just that we’ve seen you at your worst, and we’re hoping you can shed that while behind the wheel. We’re thinking about all of the accidents or near misses that we’ve seen as adults with decades of experience under our belts, and it’s still hard. And that’s not a dick joke.

#3. Staying With Friends While Their Parents Are Gone

Why It’s Important:

Of all the things on this list, this is the one I remember the most fondly. The first time I was allowed to spend the weekend with my friends and no adults around was incredible. A group of about ten of us decided to go on a camping trip at the end of the school year. The ones who were old enough to drive picked up the rest, so it was two trucks, which meant a whole shitload of us rode in the bed. The second we pulled away from the last house, we all transformed into raw teenage boys, cursing out the kind of insults at each other which in retrospect make me die a little inside. Teenage boys are weird.

Along the way, the drivers decided to race. So at barely sunrise, we were throwing donuts at each other, going 90 side-by-side on the highway. Again, with most of the guys sitting or standing loose in the beds of pickup trucks.

When we got to the campsite, we unloaded all of our fishing poles, food, tents, blankets, pillows, beer … oh, and guns. Probably 20 of them, ranging from run-of-the-mill 12-gauge shotguns to .45 autos to an AK-47 or two. By sundown, every one of us was drunk as shit, firing weapons and throwing unspent bullets into the campfire. Nobody remembered to bring water, so when we ran out of beer, we had to just drink the melted ice from the dirty-ass coolers. It was freedom at its purest.

Just move the fish aside. There’s water underneath.

Why It Scares The Shit Out Of Parents:

HOLY FUCKBALLS, HOW DID NONE OF US DIE?!

OK, my personal illustration of dumbassery aside, there are legitimately more subtle reasons this scares parents. Take away the camping, the guns, the booze, and the race that gave 20 middle fingers to Death himself, and we still have stuff to worry about.

All of the fun stuff that we tell our kids not to do … those are the things they’re going to immediately dive into the second we’re out of sight. I’ve accepted that there’s a pretty good chance my kids, like most kids, will eventually experiment with drugs. But when they do, I hope to god it’s just pot and not something that was made in some redneck’s bathtub. Our state (like most states) has a fairly bad problem with prescription drug abuse. About one in five teenagers will try them at some point, and they are super easy to get. In fact, they’re much, much easier to get on the streets than they are from a doctor. My kids are smart, but not so smart that I trust them to know how much Vicodin is safe to take versus their body weight, metabolism, personal resistances to pain killers, and whether or not they’re allergic to the medication in the first place.

“Just grab a handful. They’re healthy.”

When we’re talking about that shit, we’re far beyond a night of giggling and eating Twinkies. We’re talking about highly addictive medication that can kill your ass if you go overboard. But enough about drugs. That’s probably just the paranoid addict in me talking.

We still worry about what liberties they’re going to take when we’re not around. Simple things like staying out after curfew. In a small town, it’s not that big a deal, but in a larger city, you might as well be painting a neon bullseye on their asses, along with a sign that says, “Please beat the shit out of me and take my wallet. I am the dumping grounds for your drunken 3 a.m. rage!” Hell, even in a small town, pull up a website that shows the locations of sexual predators in your area, and tell me that doesn’t make you want to teach them some Deadpool shit.

But as a parent, you just have to finally learn to let go and give them a little slack. It’s just really hard to trust someone who has to be reminded on a daily basis to brush their teeth. It’s even harder to trust the strangers in a town whom you regularly fantasize about being on fire.

source http://allofbeer.com/5-ways-adults-see-their-best-memories-turn-into-nightmares/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2018/01/5-ways-adults-see-their-best-memories.html

[allofbeercom]

5 Ways Adults See Their Best Memories Turn Into Nightmares

I’ve talked before about how, despite what adults tell you, your teens are not the best years of your life. There are some pretty awesome things that happen during that period, but your enjoyment of them has nothing to do with a lack of bills or not having to support a family. That’s what an adult says when they’re fed up with the stress of their own lives and projecting it onto yours. It’s short-sighted and idiotic. Suck it, mom.

It has everything to do with the little milestones that represent growing chunks of freedom. They are, in essence, rites of passage that mean you’re putting your teenage years behind you. You’re escaping. When they happen, you’ll mentally log those as some of the funnest times in your life. Then, when you get older, you’ll flip through your skull’s Dewey Decimal System, pull up those memories … and be absolutely goddamn horrified when you picture your own kids doing seemingly insignificant things like …

#5. Getting Their First Job

Why It’s Important:

Aside from just straight up giving your parents the finger and moving out of the house, getting your first job is the ultimate transition from adolescence into adulthood. If you work a night shift, curfew is more flexible. You likely have your own car, or will soon be buying one, so you’re not dependent on mom or dad’s level of sobriety in order to drive you places. If parents are the ones buying your clothes and entertainment, they likely have a say in what you get, so a job frees you up from all of that. It’s your money. You’ll buy a katana if you want to, goddammit.

In the general public’s idea of “adulthood,” the word “job” is more important than “age.” And it should be. I have 40-year-old relatives rotting away in prison right now because smoking foils and stealing shit was more important to them than seeing their kids graduate high school. Those people aren’t adults. The adults in their families are the kids who figured out this one basic financial formula: “Work for the shit I need. Save for the shit I want. Oh, and don’t fuck with meth.”

Don’t vape, either. It makes you look like a twat.

Why It Scares The Shit Out Of Parents:

Up until this point, the only real authority figures in your lives have been parents and teachers. Cops don’t really count unless you’re a sociopath, and even then, there’s not a lot they can do to punish minors. But when you make that transition into the working world, you have a brand-new set of second parents in the form of supervisors and managers. And as adults, we know that most of those are clinical assholes.

We’re not so much concerned about the way they treat you as humans. We know from experience that your life is going to be like that Harry Potter scene where they’re trapped in that vault and all of the treasure starts reproducing. Except instead of gold and silver goblets, it’s an unceasing explosion of assholes. An asshole geyser, if you will. We’re more worried that you’re still in the process of learning how to be a socially functioning human, and we don’t want some power-tripping dickhead influencing how you perceive and treat the rest of the world.

We’ve had our own jobs as teenagers, and we know that there are employees who steal and get away with it. We don’t want them teaching you how to do that, because if you get caught, you’re screwed. And even if you don’t get caught, you’re a piece of shit. We know that there are bosses who can easily make you think that the correct way to manage is to scream, curse, and throw tantrums. Or on the other end of that spectrum are managers who let employees get away with things that would get their asses fired in a more serious “adult” job.

“… the FUCK outta here!”

No, it’s not that we’re afraid of how they’ll treat you. We’re afraid of what they could turn you into. Seventeen years of hard work teaching you the right thing can be undone with a single dose of the unfiltered world. I’ve seen it happen. And yeah, I know that not all kids are precious little angels just waiting to be corrupted by the cruel, remorseless world. But the more rebellious, anti-authority kids tend to learn a lot quicker when they come to work in a bad mood, tell their boss to go fuck himself, and then watch their work history collapse for the next five years. That’s a whole new set of fears, because if that kid has already started paying for his or her first car and then loses their job … congratulations, parents! You just added a new car payment to your budget.

Oh, and speaking of cars …

#4. Driving A Car On Their Own For The First Time

Why It’s Important:

It’s a car. Come on. You just spent the last few months in driver’s ed, learning all of the rules that everyone ignores the second they start driving on their own. You spent the (in my state) 40 hours of mandatory driving with a parent in the passenger seat. Not all at once. That would be silly. You’re silly. Stop being silly.

You sillyass.

Every little imperfection has been pointed out while we held your hand through the process. You’ve sat through dozens of lectures from teachers, parents, aunts, and uncles — and if you’re crazy rich, that sweet talking car from Knight Rider — explaining how the world is full of bad drivers, and you should always be looking out for “the other guy.” Always wear your seat belt. Never, ever, eeeever drink and drive. Don’t even take a chance with your cellphone. Just turn that shit off. If you try to merge while eating an egg salad sandwich, your face will fall off.

Those are deviled eggs, dipshit. Those are fine.

Finally, all of that bullshit is over with. It’s time to grab the keys, put on your awesome NASCAR helmet with flames painted down the sides, and hit the open road. No more lectures. No more, “How many times have I told you to HIT THE FUCKING BRAKES when you turn a corner?!” Eat me, Grandma. This is my world, now.

Why It Scares The Shit Out Of Parents:

The most obvious reason is that you are piloting a machine that will end you before you even have time to shit your pants. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t know someone who died in a car accident. The not-so-obvious reason, unfortunately, is one of trust. Both of you and everyone else in the entire world. Sorry, but I’m going to get all real up in your shorts for a minute. That’s a thing kids say, right?

The truth is that we’ve seen you at your dumbest. If my oldest son is reading this, understand that I’m not calling you dumb as an individual. I’m talking in a blanket sense. Ask any adult you want about whether or not they considered themselves smart and worldly as a teenager, and they’ll laugh you out of the room. “Oh Christ, no. I was dumb as owl shit.” One time I jumped from the top of a two-story barn into a snow drift that was only two feet deep because I thought it would be fluffy and soft. It was not. My brother once wondered if hairspray would still ignite if it was dry, and set a girl’s head on fire. Neither of those statements are jokes.

It makes me feel better to remember it like this.

We’ve seen the dumb shit you do, and we shudder when we think about the stuff we haven’t seen. The idea that you could space out for even a few seconds while driving a car sends us into a blind panic. Then add on top of that the idiocy of every other person who exists outside of your windshield. People blowing through red lights at full speed. Drunk drivers. Little kids sprinting out into the street to chase down a ball. In my part of the country, we have suicidal deer as big as ponies.

So it’s not just that we’ve seen you at your worst, and we’re hoping you can shed that while behind the wheel. We’re thinking about all of the accidents or near misses that we’ve seen as adults with decades of experience under our belts, and it’s still hard. And that’s not a dick joke.

#3. Staying With Friends While Their Parents Are Gone

Why It’s Important:

Of all the things on this list, this is the one I remember the most fondly. The first time I was allowed to spend the weekend with my friends and no adults around was incredible. A group of about ten of us decided to go on a camping trip at the end of the school year. The ones who were old enough to drive picked up the rest, so it was two trucks, which meant a whole shitload of us rode in the bed. The second we pulled away from the last house, we all transformed into raw teenage boys, cursing out the kind of insults at each other which in retrospect make me die a little inside. Teenage boys are weird.

Along the way, the drivers decided to race. So at barely sunrise, we were throwing donuts at each other, going 90 side-by-side on the highway. Again, with most of the guys sitting or standing loose in the beds of pickup trucks.

When we got to the campsite, we unloaded all of our fishing poles, food, tents, blankets, pillows, beer … oh, and guns. Probably 20 of them, ranging from run-of-the-mill 12-gauge shotguns to .45 autos to an AK-47 or two. By sundown, every one of us was drunk as shit, firing weapons and throwing unspent bullets into the campfire. Nobody remembered to bring water, so when we ran out of beer, we had to just drink the melted ice from the dirty-ass coolers. It was freedom at its purest.

Just move the fish aside. There’s water underneath.

Why It Scares The Shit Out Of Parents:

HOLY FUCKBALLS, HOW DID NONE OF US DIE?!

OK, my personal illustration of dumbassery aside, there are legitimately more subtle reasons this scares parents. Take away the camping, the guns, the booze, and the race that gave 20 middle fingers to Death himself, and we still have stuff to worry about.

All of the fun stuff that we tell our kids not to do … those are the things they’re going to immediately dive into the second we’re out of sight. I’ve accepted that there’s a pretty good chance my kids, like most kids, will eventually experiment with drugs. But when they do, I hope to god it’s just pot and not something that was made in some redneck’s bathtub. Our state (like most states) has a fairly bad problem with prescription drug abuse. About one in five teenagers will try them at some point, and they are super easy to get. In fact, they’re much, much easier to get on the streets than they are from a doctor. My kids are smart, but not so smart that I trust them to know how much Vicodin is safe to take versus their body weight, metabolism, personal resistances to pain killers, and whether or not they’re allergic to the medication in the first place.

“Just grab a handful. They’re healthy.”

When we’re talking about that shit, we’re far beyond a night of giggling and eating Twinkies. We’re talking about highly addictive medication that can kill your ass if you go overboard. But enough about drugs. That’s probably just the paranoid addict in me talking.

We still worry about what liberties they’re going to take when we’re not around. Simple things like staying out after curfew. In a small town, it’s not that big a deal, but in a larger city, you might as well be painting a neon bullseye on their asses, along with a sign that says, “Please beat the shit out of me and take my wallet. I am the dumping grounds for your drunken 3 a.m. rage!” Hell, even in a small town, pull up a website that shows the locations of sexual predators in your area, and tell me that doesn’t make you want to teach them some Deadpool shit.

But as a parent, you just have to finally learn to let go and give them a little slack. It’s just really hard to trust someone who has to be reminded on a daily basis to brush their teeth. It’s even harder to trust the strangers in a town whom you regularly fantasize about being on fire.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-ways-adults-see-their-best-memories-turn-into-nightmares/