#like sure there are some games with good story that also look pretty (looking at rdr2 here)
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DATV Spoiler Free Review
I beat Veilguard a couple days ago and have had some time to let it settle in my brain. So, without getting into the nitty gritty and more spoilery things, here are my overall feelings on the game.
The Great:
The world itself. The scenery. It was really gorgeous and felt fully alive in a way that none of the previous games have quite managed. Since it wasn't as open world as DAI nor as narrow in scope as DA2 (nor as old as DAO lol), it felt more vital. Definitely a place where the advances in graphics helped, I'm sure.
The Good:
The companions. I wouldn't say any of them blew me away but they all at least ranged from enjoyable to very good. I definitely had my quibbles here and there but I think they were all pretty solid. As such, though I've only done one romance, I'll suppose they're all good. A bit... sparse in my experience and from what I've been hearing, but nice enough.
Overall, I also think the story was pretty good. Like much in this game, nothing that blew me away, but solidly compelling.
Also, mechanically, the gameplay and the glamour system. It still doesn't feel like DA to me but it was enjoyable once I got used to it. It works well with how I play games. And it was nice to just set looks for myself and my companions and not worry about stats vs appearance.
Rook. I have some definite Complaints, and so this point is probably closer to the good to mid range, but they did a pretty good job with letting you pull in your faction stuff. I'm prevented from saying great because it feels like, even with what are supposed to be rougher dialogue choices, you're limited to being mildly pleasant.
The Mid:
The music. This is tragic to me because every previous game had some really standout songs and DAI especially was such a solid soundtrack. I love soundtrack music. Also because Hans Zimmer! I love Hans Zimmer. But the entire thing felt very generic epic fantasy to me. It wasn't bad but it didn't feel good. The only times I ended up moved by the music was when they lifted DAI songs.
The lack of imports. It wasn't the end of the world but did make some cameos feel really off. And for all the talk of making what few things were imported matter, that really didn't feel like the case at all (unless you were in a specific subset of players). I didn't care too much, but it was just enough to make things feel weird, especially with characters like Harding who are so attached to previous stuff.
The Bad:
The world felt so sanitized. I have no issue getting rid of real life bigotry that makes so sense in the context of the world. For example, the sexism in DAO especially made no sense. That said, there was a lot of in world nastiness that is just... gone. The game does a lot of telling us the elves have it bad but doesn't show it. No one bats an eye at a Tevinter mage running about outside of Tevinter. No one cares about a Qunari in occupied Treviso. I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world but it feels weird, especially when it's so central to Solas' motivations.
This sanitization carried on through pretty much everything. All of the factions are presented as good and heroic, even the ones that are historically pretty shady. Your companions are all pleasant and palatable. They have the occasional minor squabble but even when they almost have actual beef, it's solved super easily. You might get some disapproval for decisions but companions never seem to much care or hold it against you, even on really big things. I don't need DA2 levels of interparty drama but, boy did I want a bit more tooth sometimes.
The Awful:
I can't get into it without spoilers but it did a Thing that Bioware sometimes likes to do that I absolutely loathe. This is definitely personal but it ruined some of my desire to replay.
Overall:
I'd give the game a 7/10 or maybe 6/10, depending on how I'm feeling. It was enjoyable for the most part but it had so many things that felt like splinters. Lots of little things that stuck under my skin and bothered me. Would I recommend it? Genuinely depends on the person.
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Iâve heard some people suggesting that Veilguard is going to turn out being another DA2, and honestly, if it could scratch even a tiny bit of what DA2 accomplished in its clunky half-finished form, I would probably like it.
DA2 is a demonstration of BioWare knowing what their brand is all about, and knowing how to prioritize that over everything else. Legitimately it doesnât matter to me how ugly the game is if the world is full of compelling characters and a tight, well-rounded narrative. Good writing and character performance can breathe life into a world, even if that world is just the same two cave and building maps pasted over and over. Just like having brilliant actors on a mid stage. Sure, you can see the stage ninja wheeling in the garden backdrop for the upcoming romantic rendezvous, but it doesnât matter if youâre wholly captivated by the story unfolding in front of you. Honestly, I wish that upon Veilguard. Be a little clunky, have some odd quirks that fans will be divided over for the next decade, all that â but make the story something that will come grip me by the front of the shirt and give me something Iâll remember.
#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age the veilguard#me post#Iâll be honest weirdly this is the reason Iâm kind of concerned to see how nice the game looks#like sure there are some games with good story that also look pretty (looking at rdr2 here)#but bioware has been struggling a bit lately so I would honestly prefer to see it look a little bad#it would make me think theyâd put development time into their writing instead#but we can still hope I guess
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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE
#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED#I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 Iâm pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like đđđ#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it#until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth#and Iâve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE#so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man#I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah Iâm at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now#what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff#i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA#viola may be my favourite character Iâm obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m#i NEED to know whatâs up with thornâs cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there#hrrgrhehh the thing thatâs holding me back is Iâm allergic to subscriptions#impermanence. even though I know itâs fairly unlikely Iâll wanna watch it again any time soon I donât like the idea that Iâd have to like#in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I canât afford it even though I already paid for it once#Iâm a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips#it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and Iâve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade#and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I wonât be able to watch much for a few weeks#fuck it Iâm allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste#more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible Iâm pretty sure when this is done Iâll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do#okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes#luke.txt#update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc itâs 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3
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Dating the Slytherin boys (+ Harry) âȘ HEADCANONS
Requested:Â No
Characters:Â Mattheo Riddle, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Regulus Black, Harry Potter (+ y/n)
Warnings:Â NSFW mentions, English is not my first language
A/N:Â I'm not sure I like this but here we go. However I have to say I like Regulus' one so I might turn his version into a one shot one day (when uni won't be killing me slowly). This will include also the pre-dating/flirting stage as well. SORRY FOR THE TYPOS. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy! ^^
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus
Tag list for this story: @anawritez-posts @pumpkinchee @alwayslatetothefandoms
Mattheo Riddle:
His feelings for you probably confused him at firstÂ
If he falls first, he either wonât let you know or will do everything to get your attention (âHey, y/n, come sit here, the seat is free!â, ây/n, do you mind helping me with homework for Snape? I canât bloody do itâ, âHow about we go to Hogsmeade, just you and me?â, âyou look beautiful, y/nâ)
Your love for him always calms him when he gets anxious or when heâs upset, especially after his father comes back
Will tell you things he never told anyone
Would rather spend time with you than with his friends
Is terrified something will happen to you because of his fatherÂ
VERY jealous, but trusts you
Despite easily getting angry, he canât get mad at you. Even during argumentsÂ
LOVES sleeping in your arms or when you just hold him
He's crazy about your body
Loves showering with you, and we both know how it often ends
HOT, passionate sex
Will randomly eat you out without expecting anything in return (doesn't mind if you return the favor, though)
100% calls you "baby" or "love" all the time
Doesnât care about what anyone thinks of him as long as you love him
Your love makes him feel lighter and stronger
You're his whole world
Feels bad when he hears someone criticize you for dating himÂ
Always makes sure you donât overwork yourself, and makes sure you get enough sleep, water and food, and comforts you when you're anxious
Holds your hands when he's anxious or stressed
Will listen to anything you have to sayÂ
Crazy about your perfume
Theodore Nott:
Struggles to express his love or feelings in general, at least in the beginningÂ
Has never done serious relationships before, and it may cause some trouble in your relationship, as you end up believing he doesnât care about you
It causes many fights, and the last one will be the first time he says âI love youâ
Always goes to you for comfortÂ
Loves sleeping with you in his arms/on his laps, or cuddling, and with time he canât sleep without you
Loves watching you sleepÂ
Loves having you on his lap
Always gets you great gifts (even randomly)
âWell, it thought it was pretty, andâŠit reminded me of you.â
Will fight any guy who is rude to you or acts like a creepÂ
Very jealous (trusts you, doesnât trust others)
Doesnât mind PDA at all, will gladly hold your hand or kiss you in public
Always has a hand on your waist or around your shouldersÂ
Very supportive in everything you do, even when he doesnât understand it/isnât really interested in it
Isnât very good with comforting people (mostly because he's not used to it), but will hold you and listen to you as long as you need, can even give you advice/reassuranceÂ
Every compliment/'I love you' you say melts his heart and means much more to him than he shows, same goes for anything you do for him
Loves doing fun things, even if itâs just throwing snowballs at each other during winter (which ends in loving kisses, just savouring the joy of being together)Â Â
Love getting in a pool with you and playing "childish" games during summer
Any form of intimacy means A LOT to himÂ
He's used to hooks up and "fucking" but it takes him a bit of time to have sex with you (despite being crazy about you and your body) because you mean everything to him and with you it's really making love instead of just "fucking"
The first time is loving and slow yet passionnate (eye contact at all times, hands holding, desperate kisses from him), and it gets a bit rougher and passionate the next times (but aftercare, which he isn't used to, is always on point and keeps getting better)
Is secretly very insecure, and is terrified you will leave him (especially for another âbetterâ guy)Â
Craves your touch and your love but wonât admit it
His boggart is probably you being dead alongside his mother
Will tell you sweets things in Italian
Very clingy in private - and also in public with time
With you he learns to be happier and discovers a happier side of himself he didn't know he had
Loves you much more than he actually shows at firstÂ
Will often say you're all he has (and means it)
But with time, you have no reason to doubt his love and heâs the perfect boyfriend
Blaise Zabini:
Probably will court you like the gentleman he is
He doesnât trust people easily and might be a little distant (while always polite and kind) in the early stages of your relationshipÂ
But with time he becomes very warm and smiles a lot
Always kisses the top of your hand or your foreheadÂ
Doesnât do much PDA except for holding hands and kisses on your forehead
However in private heâll 100% cuddle you and hold you
Dates in parks or restaurants Â
Get you flowers at least once a month
Will always defend you against othersÂ
One of his love languages is acts of service
Lorenzo Berkshire:
You either were friends before dating or he fell in love with you at first sight, there is no in between
Takes you on fun dates (arcade, funfair, theme parks)Â
Can be shy at the beginning, which will make it a bit hard for him to talk about how he feels about you
Movie nights where you two eats lots of snacks and sweets while cuddlingÂ
Always smiles when you enter a room
So supportiveÂ
Loves when you're on his lap
He has no problem with PDA
Quickly willing to meet your family if you agree
Heâs a great listener and mostly gives good advicesÂ
Loves taking naps with youÂ
Always makes you sure you get enough sleep, water and food
Wonât let you get yourself into dangerous situations
Loves to go anywhere with you, no matter the activity and even if he just follows you aroundÂ
Many pet names
If you're Muggleborn or grew up among Muggles, he will totally ask you questions about the muggle world
Passionnate sex, will get rough if he hasn't seen you in a long time or if it's angry sex after he got jealous
His aftercare is the best, and he's always thankful you trust him enough to have that form of intimacy with him
Draco Malfoy:
Wonât flirt at first with you but keeps wanting your attention
Tries to seduce you with expensive gifts, and is a bit taken aback when you say he doesnât work
Continues to get you gifts, but will make sure they match your interests/tastes, and keeps expensive gifts for your birthdays and Christmas (even though heâd like to get them all year for you)Â
At first he doesn't show any weakness in your presence
With you heâll learn patience and to focus of more positive things, and also to stand up to his father
Takes you on dates every chance he gets
Will ditch his friends to spend time with you
Probably makes Crabbe and Goyle carry your bags or do things for you
So proud to be dating you, it might even make him more arrogant
Gets grumpy when jealous but after a kiss on the cheek heâs back to his normal selfÂ
Will invite you to his home and write you nearly everyday during holidays
Hates it when Harry or any Gryffindor boy tries to talk to you
Surprisingly has no problem with PDA
Loves when you come to see him play during Quidditch matches
Tom Riddle:
Oh boy
It started with him admiring/watching you from afar, for a reason he canât understand
SUPER confused by what he feels for you and why
Will probably try to get closer to you through homework or through books if he sees you read one
Will know everything about you, and will secretly follow you, saving you if youâre in danger with you never knowing who saved you
Crazy about your perfume, so much so that it makes him steal one of your clothes just to be able to smell it anytime he wants
After a while, heâll spend most of his time with you without ever admitting he likes it
Will probably let you know his feelings for you after he cast a spell on a guy for being a creep with youÂ
Wonât let another man touch you
Will ask Mattheo for advice to be better or to make you fall in love with him
Will do your homework without hesitation, even if he pretends that he hates it, and will leave explanations so you understand his answers/his work
No PDA except for holding hands or your hand under his arm, but will make sure to stay close to you at all timesÂ
Is a surprisingly good listenerÂ
VERY jealous, but surprisingly isnât mad or suspicious at you
âDid you enjoy having his attention? Do you wish for me to show you how my attention is better?âÂ
He doesn't stress over homework or stuff like that, so he finds it ridiculous when you do (learns with time to be more understanding)
Will let flowers in your room with a note on it
Pretends to not care about the gifts you get him for his birthday or Christmas but it actually means so much to him as no one ever got him any gifts beforeÂ
Nothing the others say about him gets to him, but he gets angry when he hears someone say that you deserve better than him
Is secretly insecure about his background and the fact that heâs poor, and thinks you deserve betterÂ
As Voldemort: Might be torn between continuing his goals for power or spending a simple life with you; is aware youâll leave him if he gets on a darker pathÂ
As Voldemortâs son: would do everything to protect you from his father, and if heâs forced to get the Dark Mark, he will makes sure you donât knowÂ
Possessive kissesÂ
Would hurt anyone who does you wrong
Borrows money from Draco to take you on dates or to get you gifts, as he feels like you deserve the nicest things, even though you keep telling him his mere presence is enough
May feel a little bit guilty that he canât properly show you his love like ânormalâ boyfriends doÂ
Wonât admit it but considers you the only good thing in his life, and if he ever lost you heâd get on a dark path
Wonât cuddle at first, but if you wake up first youâll find him sleeping close to you, with at least one of his hands touching you
Always notices when you donât eat, sleep or drink enough
Youâre the first (and only) person he will feel romantic love for
He has a bit of sexual experience before, but with you it's completely different - once you guys have sex for the first time, he becomes obsessed with your body and how it makes him feel
Loves fingering you
"You like it, dove?"
Even if you guys donât work out, he wonât ever be with somebody elseÂ
Would ask your parents for you hand in marriage, but honestly it's just out of politeness, the only answer that matters to him is yours
Regulus Black:
Like Blaise, he was raised the old fashioned way
Acts coldly towards everyone except you, his tone and eyes gets warmer and kinder when talking/looking at you, and youâre the only person heâll smile at
You were his best (and only) friend and he has been in love with you for years
He hides his feelings very well, but one day you start dating someone else (thinking Regulus doesnât share your feelings) but he canât bear it and confesses his feelings
Always defends you
Heâll take you on restaurants or picnics dates, always bringing flowers
Mostly fine with PDA (holding hands, hands on your waist)
Thinks heâs very lucky to have you
Probably already starts thinking of marrying you during your last year at HogwartsÂ
A bit jealous, but canât stand it when Sirius tries to talk to you
Will gladly do your homework with/for you
Loves it when you sleep in each otherâs arms, loves feeling you close
Loves it when you call him âReggieâ (only you is allowed to)
Will literally do everything you ask him to
Youâre everything to him
Canât stay away from you for long
Will get worried if youâre five minutes late
Always calls you âsweetheartâ or âloveâ/âmy loveâÂ
Slow, romantic sex most of the time but sometimes he needs to be rougher
Thanks to you heâll feel lighter and he will become kinder
Youâll even make him change his views on blood purity and stand up to his parents, and with time he gets closer to Sirius thanks to that (and you)Â
If that doesnât change and he still joins Voldemort, heâll leave you a letter before going to the cavern, saying how much he loves you and how much you mean to him
Harry Potter:
Donât expect any pet names from him, but he might create a nickname with your name (like he calls Ginny âGinâ in the Cursed Child)Â
His love languages are fierce protectiveness, loyalty and a patience he didnât knew he had
Has no problem with PDA because he doesnât care about what other people think Â
Loves cuddles
Rarely gets mad at you, and feels guilty when he does
Mostly gets mad at you when you hurt yourself (for example during Quidditch) but it's also because he was scared for you
Hot kisses in private
Will be jealous if he sees you with another guyÂ
Heâs passionate in a lot of things he does, and it includes you and everything you do
Will fiercely defend you again anyone, can even throw hands
Gets FURIOUS when Umbridge hurts you during detention, and will cuddle you for hours and do everything he can to make the pain disappear
Knows people are mean to you during fifth year because you're dating him and he hates it
During that year the only peace he feels is when he's holding you or when you sleep in his arms (it's also the only time he doesn't get nightmares)
Very supportiveÂ
Loves getting you giftsÂ
You make him feel SO happy, heâll just keep smiling for no reasonÂ
Gets more and more clingy with time
Always write to you during the holidays (you always invite him to come to your house)
I'm not sure about sex while you guys are at Hogwarts but he 100% feels lust for you, there will definitely be hot making sessions when you guys are alone in a dark corner of the castle and it often ends up with you against the wall with your legs around his waist while he kisses your neck and caresses your legs
However sometimes he just can't stop himself and will eat you out (even maybe finger you at the same time), and will be proud when you come
Any act of service you do for him means a lot
You're always worried about him when he's at the Dursleys but he reassures you that he's fine
Comes to you in the middle of the night if he has a nightmare and generally comes to you for comfort or to rantÂ
Needs you more than ever after Voldemort comes back and after Siriusâ deathÂ
Misses you like crazy during his quest for Horcruxes, and he canât bear the thought of something happening to youÂ
Might struggle to show it, but he knows and is thankful of how patient and comprehensive you are with him, and that makes him want to be the best boyfriend he can be
Terrified Voldemort might hurt/kill you
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I love your stories so much, please write more dark manipulative Max, maybe something with mindbreak or bimbofication of an innocent reader? It would be fun if she was Toto's daughter and Max so holds it over Toto.
this is for all the dark!Max/totoâs daughter/bimbo/mindbreak reader requests all you freaks have been requesting đŒđŒ for the first time i have something for the dark!lando girlies!!
Double Fantasy â„ïž
Max Verstappen x Landoâs Fuckbuddy!Reader
I can tell that you think that Iâm right for you, I already know that it's not true, but girl I'll lie to you (even though it's wrong)
Recently becoming a media executive for the FIA, you canât deny that your dream job has given you access to your dream men. Sadly, your top pick, Max Verstappen doesnât look twice your way - not interested in the daughter of Toto Wolff, who he openly dislikes. But you gladly enjoy your consolation prize of being Lando Norrisâs fuckbuddy. You didnât realise just how far Lando planned on extending your arrangement when he pisses the Dutch champion off one step too far - and now needs to figure out the perfect gift to give Max and make amends.
Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, dark! max, dark! Lando, but bimbo!reader is into it lol, have done a twist on the usual innocent! reader, sheâs totoâs daughter also, dubcon, blindfold, BDSM, no threesomes sorry I canât share max with anyone else, WC 5.6k
Multiple heads turn your way as you make your way down the FIA garage, your YSL black and gold heels clicking smoothly on the floor. You canât hold back the pleased smile on your pink glossed lips at the appreciative glances over your curvy figure. At 22, youâve landed your dream job as a marketing and media executive for the FIA. Glowing recommendations, a perfect GPA and of course a touch of good old fashioned nepotism via your dad, the Mercedes team principal Toto Wolff, landed you here, dressed in luxury outfits and regularly networking with some of the richest people on the continent. What can you say? Youâre a material girl, after all, with a pleasure for the finer things in life.
And that included an appreciation of rich, powerful men that you inherited as a result of a strict and emotionless father who preferred to spend his time running a motorsports corporation instead of at home. Daddy issues, one might even say (actually your therapist had said exactly that.) So the Formula One grid, filled to the brim with hot, millionaire drivers who have no issue flirting with the new pretty little toy on the paddock, was the perfect place for a girl like you to work. You definitely had your fun, arriving a few months ago for your first day, dressed in a tight yet full length maxi dress, giving you the perfect blend of sexy and demure that had much of the paddock panting after you.
But you were a girl with a taste for luxury - you werenât going to settle for any dirty mechanic or plain news reporter. No, what you wanted more than anything, was to get the best of both worlds like your lucky bitch of a stepmom Susie Wolff had done - FIA executive and WAG of the hottest and richest team principal. Even you had to admit, apart from your dad, the rest of the principals were a little bit too far on the balding old men side. But the drivers, you thought wickedly, the drivers were a completely different story. And they knew they were some of the most desired men on the planet, with their fame and status. Their egos were sky high - especially since multiple women would be throwing themselves at them every race weekend or media day. So you had made sure to play the game very, very carefully - unlike the other sultry models on the paddock, or conservative women dressed head to toe in basic team gear, you were the very picture of innocence with your sweet makeup and dark curls, cute girly dresses and heels, all shy giggles one minute and then serious, no nonsense businesswoman the next to keep them on their toes.
A lot of the drivers ate it up, too, flocking to Toto Wolffâs pretty daughter when theyâd see you doing the occasional post race interview or brazenly flirting with you at a driversâ meeting. But the one man who you truly wanted, the 26 year old in the Redbull gear with 3 world champions and a multimillionaire contract to his name, with intense blue eyes and thick thighs and broad shoulders, with a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine one second then flutters in your heart the next when youâd hear him laugh - he was the man who didnât look twice your way. Despite your attempts to flutter your eyelashes, wearing tight outfits and bend over just so in a certain angle, or pressing your generous tits up against his bulging biceps as your breathlessly whisper Congratulations on the win, Max he wouldnât even show a flicker of reciprocal interest. You were the daughter of Toto, after all - a principal who he was quite well known in the media for having ongoing disputes with for numerous years. As if Max Verstappen was going to be seduced by the likes of a gold digging daughter who was probably just as two faced as her father.
Youâd pouted for weeks, growing bitter with jealousy at seeing Max instead walk around with Kelly, a pretty, tall and slim model whoâd apparently outplayed you. But to your delight, you stumbled upon the best consolation prize. With all your pining you hadnât realized youâd snagged one of the hottest and most desirable drivers on the grid - McLarenâs Lando Norris. Well, snagged was one way to put it - after all, a playboy like him was hard to pin down, especially when he knew how much pull he had over women. But youâd thought about that to, even going so far as saving your virginity like the perfect daddyâs little girl you were. Lando ate it up, twistedly enjoying getting to corrupt the paddockâs pretty princess, the one everyone wanted to get a piece off. So unlike the other women he slept with, the ones kept secret and hidden from the media, you were his favourite toy - one that he paraded around whenever youâd be in the same city. Not quite a girlfriend, of course, he was far too much of a flirt to put such a label on you so soon - more of a friends with benefits, a high maintenance fling, a fuckbuddy, some might call it.
And once you had your manicured hands clinging onto his arms at the races you sure as hell did not plan on letting go. Toto was not overly happy at the news that his eldest daughter was involved with a driver, of course, but had accepted it as Lando was still a good choice compared to many of the other drivers he wanted you to stay well away from - like Mad Max. So you stayed loyal to Lando, not wanting any rumours about you flirting with multiple drivers to impact your dadâs important reputation. Youâd only flutter your lashes at Lando, kissing his cheek diligently with your glossed lips, sending the naughty photos of you in expensive lingerie just for him - because the rewards you got as his paddock arm candy were just too good. Always making sure your face was well cut out from any pictures, of course - you would die if they got leaked and your father found out.
But being Landoâs fuckbuddy came with a whole line of luxuries youâd quickly grown accustomed too. Tickets to whatever show you wanted, the finest food at the most expensive restaurant, the papparazzi going crazy at whatever outfit youâd wear when clinging onto Landoâs arm, and of course one of the most coveted men in the world between your legs, teaching you how to come apart on his fingers. Thatâs right, his fingers, and very rarely his cock, because you needed to secure that diamond ring, after all. And you sure as hell werenât going to give him wife privileges 24/7 when he hadnât even made you his official girlfriend yet. So instead you tried to push him to the limits, testing his patience to give up and retire his playboy ways if he finally got to bury his desperate dick inside your heavenly tight pussy again, after having taken your virginity.
Truly, you had outdone yourself, you thought, as every passing race this season Lando got more and more tense as tensions for the World Championships grew, with McLaren finally being able to threaten the Verstappen Red Bull reign for the first time in years. And with each passing race, he couldnât relieve the tension enough, trying to furiously fuck his way through all number of vogue models but somehow always finding himself back with you, desperately begging to be let in between your soft thighs. And like always, youâd blink innocently and coo that you felt too shy, wasnât last time enough, you didnât want to ruin yourself for the man you were going to marry, remember?
And Lando would groan, because as much as he wanted you, he also knew there was no way in hell he was ready to take you to the altar over this. Although it had been getting harder and harder to resist, lately, because although you were truly so talented with your small hands and sweet, drooling mouth, he would endlessly replay the heaven that your pussy had felt like the rare few times youâd let him enter you with his cock.
But as the season went on even you couldnât calm Lando down, especially after the Zandervoot race. Tensions were at an all time high between him and his normally good friend Max, after Lando stole his home race under him and even sealed the deal by throwing the Dutchmanâs simply lovely phrase back at him cockily. Max was well and truly pissed off at Lando then, not even turning upto their weekly Padel games or replying to his texts. Although Lando wanted to win the championship, he also wanted to remain good mates with Max - especially because he knew being on Mad Maxâs bad side always ended with the opponent finding themselves crashing into a wall at the next race. So as he pondered just what he could do to get his friendâs forgiveness, a wicked idea came to him, one night when he was out at a Monaco nightclub with you and had run into Max partying with his friends. Heâd tried to talk to Max, but had been rudely ignored, so instead Lando stood off the corner, rather crossly glaring at the Dutchman, when he noticed youâd disappeared from his side to tipsily wander to the bar and get another drink.
He was about to go help you when he saw you stumble, maybe take you to the bathroom for a quick sloppy blowjob - but was suprised to see Max appear at your side, his intense blue eyes watching your tinier frame carefully as he rested a large palm over your plump ass to secure you. And Lando watched as you giggled happily, twirling your hair as Max handed over his black Amex to pay for your drink, rewarded with a lingering lip glossed kiss on his cheek from you, before you scampered back over to where Lando was hidden in the shadows. And as you loyally returned to Landoâs arms, whispering that you were going to make him feel so good tonight, he seemed so tense, the Brit found himself ignoring your seductive words entirely to instead focus on how Maxâs hungry gaze lingered on your ass as you had strutted away from the tall blonde man. A sinister grin appeared on Landoâs face as he pieced it all together. Heâd always thought it was weird that Max chose to completely ignore you, given that he normally was a friendly guy off the track. Turns out his good mate was just trying to avoid getting involved with Totoâs paddock bunny of a daughter, huh?
Turning his attention to you, Lando whispered if you could pretty please try out something new for him tonight, because he was really stressed, okay? He watches you nod eagerly, foolishly thinking your plan to get Lando so desperate for you that he was ready to put a ring on your finger was working. Too bad you had no idea that instead, your fuckbuddy was thinking about how heâd just found the perfect present to gift to his angry rival.
So thatâs how you found yourself in a plush hotel bed later that night, all dressed up in a pretty white lace and mesh set and still in your heels, your eyes blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back. You eyes had gone wide with excitement, thighs clenching when Lando had pulled the ropes out, and youâd had to blush and act all innocent when secretly you couldnât be happier that you were drawing out the dirtier desires in Lando. Because that meant he was falling for you all the more, right?
You had no idea about the private conversation your fuckbuddy had been having with the driver youâd previously desired, just outside the club in a dark alleyway, where Lando had finally cornered Max to apologise. The furious Dutchman had, as expected, been in no mood to hear it - but had stopped in his tracks and turned around when Lando slyly suggested that as he had taken something of his, it was only fair that Max get one of Landoâs precious things in return. Like maybeâŠyou?
At the mention of your name, Max furrows his brows, telling Lando he wasnât interested in the latest toy on the grid who spread her legs for whichever driver gave her some attention. Oh, Lando all but purred, thatâs the catch, mate. Sheâs basically still a virgin, was one when I met her, only let me fuck her a couple of times, wants to save herself for the one or some shit. But I trained her how to use her holes, and fuck does she know how to suck a guy off with that sweet mouth of hers.
Thatâd caught Maxâs attention, and he smirked to Lando, calling him a fucked up asshole for selling out the girl who was loyal to him like this, who was Toto Wolffâs daughter, no less - a powerful man someone like Lando wouldnât want to make an enemy off. The Brit shrugged. Totoâs never going to find out. Whatâs mine is yours, mate. Enjoy. And with that, he tossed his room key to Max.
That night, Lando didnât feel bad, not even one bit, as he tightly wound the rope around your delicate little wrists, knowing that you loved to act all innocent but secretly kinky shit like this has you dripping. Especially if you were going to be ruined tonight by a man who you secretly still had desires for - and Lando was certain you did, judging from the way heâd seen you look at Max like he was a God you wanted to worship on your knees. Really, he was being a good friend to you both by letting it happen - just this once of course, he wasnât going to just hand you over to his track rival after putting in so much work to train you to be the perfect sex toy. So heâd left you there all alone in the room, abruptly saying he had an urgent call and would be back.
The drinks youâd had earlier certainly had their affects on you, making you whine against the tight ropes on your flushed and sensitive skin, almost grateful for the blindfold as you felt overstimulated already. When you finally heard the hotel door reopen, you sighed in relief as your fuckbuddy - soon to be boyfriend, you hoped! - finally came back. In your wildest fantasies youâd never have guessed that instead of Lando locking the door, Max stood in his place - and had taken one look at your tempting, restrained form and realized that the sly Brit had definitely not told you about his plans for tonight. Keeping you blind and tied up while you were tricked into thinking it was your beloved Brit entering you and not your daddyâs enemy, Max Verstappen? It was so dirty that Max got an instant hard on. Heâd seen the looks, the touches you gave him too - they were rather hard to miss, after all. But heâd played aloof, not wanting to give into your gold digging ways - but heâd admit that heâs been rather disappointed when he found youâd settled for Lando instead. Youâd surprised him with how loyal you remained to the McLaren driver, dutifully remaining by his side and avoiding Maxâs intense gaze when it would occasionally flicker over to you. But when the alcohol had loosened your inhibitions tonight, Max had seen the desire in your blown pupils, in your hardened nipples that peaked just at the edge of your dress, and had cockily smirked at the realisation that Landoâs little toy, Totoâs precious daughter - that she was still lusting after him.
And now that this opportunity had presented itselfâŠ.well, letâs just say that it had Max grinning wickedly as he plotted up all the ways he could walk away with both you and the world championship from Lando this year. That would certainly teach the younger male to mess with what was his, wouldnât it? And even better, it would put that arrogant prick Toto in his place, keep him from daring to speak out against Max in the media when Redbull trashed Mercedes - because his adored little daughter would be spending the race weekends on her hands and knees for the Dutch world champion, if Max had anything to say about it.
So thatâs how Max found himself at the foot of the bed, stripping off his clothes and lazily jerking himself off as he watched you squirm underneath your ropes, pouting as you couldnât do your usual bit of trailing teasing hands all over Lando and rile him up. Baby? You crooned, tilting your head in the direction you thought he was in. Arenât you going to-Oh!
You felt his warm, large palms cup your cheek, tracing your glossy, pink lips and you automatically poke your tongue out to circle his finger. Good girl, he sighed, the words making your tummy flutter. He sounded a little different to usual, his voice deeper, lower, but it was hard to think clearly over how much your head was pounding from raw desire, and you liked how he sounded tonight. You were feeling really horny and couldnât wait for him to finally fuck you too - having had to desperately ride your tiny vibrator after stopping Lando fucking you multiple times this month.
His hands continued their path, trailing over your delicate throat and teasingly encircling it with his large hand, making you gasp - you hadnât remembered it being quite so large that it wrapped around the whole width of your neck. But maybe your senses were more attuned now since you were blindfolded? It felt really good.
You promptly forgot to think about that any longer when those large hands moved downwards, roughly palming your bouncy tits and making you giggle from his attention. He teased and squeezed them, tugging down on the lace to free them in the open air, twisting on your hardened cute nipples. You squealed from the abuse to your overly sensitive areolas, distracted, and didnât notice when your hands ended up being untied - only to be guided to a very large and hard cock.
Baby, youâd giggled, itâs been so long that youâre even bigger than I remembered. He swore under his breath as you diligently jerked him off with your two small hands barely wrapping around his length, spitting on it cutely to ease the glide. And then heâs rubbing his leaking cock all over your tits, slapping them with it and chuckling darkly as they jiggled, all wet from his precum. Before you know it, you were drooling and suckling all over his cock, sweetly moaning how good he tasted, even more than last time. Suckling his balls and then licking all the way the very tip, just like heâd taught you, placing messy lip gloss stained kisses down the wet shaft before sucking them clean off. You made sure to pay extra attention to the thick veins that ran underneath his length, even the new ones you hadnât felt before, because heâd told you it drove men wild.
And when he grabbed your pretty curls, you let your mouth go lax so he could pump his full length furiously down your inviting throat, groaning how much of a good girl you were, maybe your full time job should be sucking his cock instead of trotting about the paddock. You moaned excitedly at the idea, and when he cums, all thick and creamy, you obediently swallow it all up.
Look, daddy, you say rather sluttily, dropping your mouth wide open, tongue out as you showed him how well youâd drank all his cum. Fuck, thatâs so dirty, calling me and your father the same name, huh? Shouldâve known youâd be into kinky shit like this.
You scrunch your brows cutely in confusion, not sure what he meant by that because youâd called him daddy many times before. But you donât get to ponder too long because you suddenly hear the sound of a camera click and can see the flash go off through the blindfold. Your tummy lurches, because Nooo, baby, no photos, please, what if my dad sees-
Your pleas are ignored as youâre being lifted by two broad arms and tossed onto the bed, your hands dragged up and over your head as your wrists are tied to the headboard. Youâre whining, asking him what he was doing, this was too much, you wanted to see him now, to touch him, but again you donât get an answer.
Instead, you feel his thick fingers hooking around the sides of your soaked panties and sliding them off, lewd strings of your wetness clinging to the lace as itâs pulled away. Then you hear him deeply exhale a fucking hell, making you blush as strong hands grasp your ankles and push them far apart so your intimate parts are exposed for his hungry gaze.
Thatâs all the warning you get before thereâs a foreign sensation of his warm breath blowing on your puffy folds, making you gasp, and before a broad tongue licks a stripe clean up your pink slit. You squeal in suprise, again stupidly babbling and asking what he was doing, because normally Lando didnât like going down on you, finding it too much effort for a quick stress relieving fuck - he much preferred having you suck him off instead.
But the mouth currently lapping at your folds seems to have realized just how unfamiliar this pleasure seems to be for your sensitive cunny, because he buries his face right in, licking and slurping up all your dripping wetness. You thrash against your restrains, incoherently moaning because it feels so good baby, mmmh, why didnât he do this more?
He laughs huskily, still buried inside your folds, and the deep vibrations make you almost cum right then and there. Your whole body is burning up with need now and youâre begging for him to put the condom on and slide in it, daddy, please, you needed it so bad-
You both moan as he finally sinks home, your creamy pussy gushing around him as it welcomes him in. You feel breathless at the size of him, because again heâs bigger and thicker than you remembered - not even just his cock, but his whole body, his bulging biceps and broad chest being able to hold you down with ease. You let him know it, too, whining that heâs so strong, it was really hot, had he been working out more?
That made him laugh again, lips grinning right by your ear, as he tilts your hips up to meet his and starts fucking your gushing pussy roughly. Through your euphoric daze, you feel familiar butterflies swirl in your stomach at the deep laugh, the accent sounding so different from Landoâs but still familiar to you for some reason - yet you still couldnât quite place it. It was impossible to focus with the way he was thrusting into you, his hands pressing your hips down into the mattress in a bruising grip, making your tits bounce with each pump, your breath come out in soft pants as you gasped for air. Youâre about to cum, you can feel it, the intensity building up-
And then, finally, he takes off your blindfold. Your brown eyes take a second to adjust to the bright lights - and then you widen them in pure shock as you realize just whoâs wide cock was splitting you open.
You scream as Max grins wickedly down at you, pulling back to leave just his leaking tip inside your tight cunny, before slamming back in and, setting a bed breaking pace and drowning out your panicked wails with the loud banging of the headboard against the walls. Youâre doing so good for me, schatje he croons, his voice sickly sweet but his actions pure evil as he grabs your dirty panties and meanly shoves them past your plush lips. Grabbing your soft thighs, he tosses them over his shoulder as he bullies his cock into you even deeper from this angle, repeatedly hitting your poor cervix. Tears pool in your brown doe eyes as you look at where he enters you, horrified as you see heâs making you take his cock raw - something Lando and you never did despite how hot it sounded as a baby outside of marriage would be too much for both of your families. You cry and wail and scream, tears streaming down your face at the embarrasing and degrading treatment youâre experiencing. Really, itâs such wicked and sinful behaviour and you should hate Max so much for this, hate Lando for leaving you all tied up and alone and defenceless against his evil and twisted rival to take advantage of you like this, to bully your practically virgin cunny with each deep thrust from his massive cock.
So why are you rapidly reaching your orgasm even faster than before?
Max has apparently learnt the signs of your pliant body underneath him far too quickly, because he slides his thick cock out of your swollen cunny and instead rests it just on top of your folds. Almost lovingly wiping your tears away with a flick of his thumb, he demands that you beg for it, for his cock to split you in half, to cum inside you, for him, Max, to be the only man you ever let inside your sweet pussy from now on.
You frantically shake your head, your muffled no no nos an obvious contrast to what you secretly wanted, as youâre simultaneously bucking your hips up against his hard length, drenching it in new slick. He smirks, leaning down so your foreheads meet and sweetly kissing up your tears. Despite the depravity of the situation, youâre finding yourself blushing from the unexpected gesture. Schatje, he whispers darkly, sending shivers up your spine because youâd always gotten jealous hearing him call other women that, youâre making this so much harder on yourself. Itâs going to be so fun to watch you fall apart for me.
With that, he agonisingly tortures you, dragging just his tip through your folds again and again, slapping your throbbing clit with his head, biting and sucking on your sensitive nipples that leaves you arching your back into his talented mouth. Youâre struggling to make sense of whatâs going on, of trying to keep coherent. All that hard work and patience to try and lure Lando in was gone the very second your pussy had welcomed Max into it, because you knew Lando would never take you back if he found out about this. Your desperate brain reasons that then, it shouldnât matter, right? It was too late for you and Lando. And now, you had Max Verstappen using your pretty body however he wanted, making you fulfill all his twisted desires. If you showed him how good you could be for him, be the perfect little pet for all his frustrations to be let out at, maybe heâd keep you aroundâŠpermanently?
Max didnât miss the dazed look that had overtaken your wide doe eyes as your whines quietened down. Guess all his teasing had finally melted that scheming brain of yours. Yanking your panties out of your mouth, he asked you if you were ready to behave and ask him nicely.
You nod obediently, looking at him with heart eyes as you confess that his cock felt so good, so addictive, you donât think you could ever go back to Lando after being stretched open so wide, and could he pretty please fuck you hard and good?
Max growls at your submissive words. Youâre offering yourself up to me so sweetly, baby. How can I say no?
He unties your aching wrists, running his soothing palms over the rope marked skin, bending down to give you a passionate, open mouthed kiss. You greedily slurp at his intruding tongue, letting yourself get lost in the pleasure as he lines himself up at your entrance before easily sinking into the wet folds. This time, he doesnât stop his wicked thrusts, not when youâre squirting on his cock, eyes rolling to the back of your head, not when a creamy ring forms around the base of his cock from your cum, not when youâre tangling your hands in his hair and whining that itâs too much, youâre going to pass out.
He only stops once heâs tensing above you, one hand squeezing your neck and the other gripping the headboard as he drains his entire load into your tight cunny desperately clenching around him. Yours is truly the sweetest pussy heâs ever fucked. Heâs never letting you go. He cums so much that it spurts out past your pussy lips, all over your soft thighs.
After a while, when heâs done whispering praises into your ears, your gooey brain soaking it all up, he slides out of you, admiring how his cum leaks out of your cunny that had treated him very well tonight. He places a gentle kiss to your temple and lets you doze off for a bit. It takes you a while longer to come to your senses, and when you sit up, you gulp down the glass of cold water that has been placed on the bedside table. You see Max spread out on an armchair across the room, shirtless and in some grey sweats, smirking at something on his phone - but he looks up when he hears you and lets his gaze drift down your marked up body. You flush under his intense ice blue eyes, heart fluttering at finally getting attention from the richest and fastest driver on the grid.
He beckons you over, calling you his pretty schatje, and in your blissed out state you obediently crawl over to him on your hands and knees, settling in between his spread legs and resting your head against his large thigh. And when he tells you that you looked so cute crawling for him, maybe next time heâll get you a leash and collar with his name on it, hmm? you bite your lip and shyly nod, telling him of course, youâd do whatever daddy wanted.
He grins darkly, pleased with your submissive response, knowing youâre completely his. Forget Toto, forget Lando, the only man youâd ever be loyal to from now on was him. So you eagerly open your juicy lips wide at his command, drooling all over his cock to clean up the sticky mess your pussy walls had left behind. And when he points his phone at you, hitting record, you glassily stare straight at the camera, letting it capture how you hollowed your cheeks and licked up the creamy ring coating the base of Maxâs cock. Gonna send this to your father if he keeps lying about how Iâve going to sign a Mercedes contract next year, Max teases meanly. Or to Lando if he tries to overtake me on the track again. You whine at him, brown doe eyes distressed, and start deepthroating him even faster to please him more, hoping if you did he wouldnât show your daddy or ex fuckbuddy how much of a slut you were for the champion driver.
Being on your knees and obediently blowing Maxie was a position you became very familiar with. Because like he had wanted, every race weekend you would break your FIA contract clause of remaining unbiased and be dressed in a skimpy little outfit in Redbull colours, your lush tits pushed against Maxâs thick biceps as you clung onto him through his paddock walk. Max couldnât resist smirking at the Mercedes garage where Toto would glare, arms crossed, at the sight of his well accomplished daughter following the reckless Redbull champion around like a lost bunny. Placing a possessive large palm across your ass as he guided you into his private jet, giving it a good squeeze, Max made sure the paparazzi caught a good pic of that, too, for your father to see later when he opened Twitter.
And Lando, who knew how much Max despised sharing his toys, skulked from his seat when he saw you entering Maxâs plane for the ride back to Monaco. Heâd make sure to never make the mistake of flying in the Verstappen jet again, he thought as he moodily shoved his headphones over his ears to drown out the filthy sounds and desperate moans you let out as Max fucked you raw on the other side of the cabin divider. Youâd never let Lando fuck you in such a public place or so often, no matter how often heâd begged you.
Fuck it, might as well make the most of it, the Brit thought once he stopped moping and realised his music wasnât going to block out the obscene squelches as his rival continued to greedily bounce your creamy pussy on his thick cock. Shoving his hand down his pants, Lando slowly started jerking himself off, smirking when he sees one of Maxâs air hostesses blush and bite her lip when he catches her looking. Apparently he hadnât learnt his lesson of keeping his hands off what belonged to the Dutchman after all, because soon heâs thrusting into the hostessâs willing mouth with the same rapid pace that Max is fucking you with.
Your father had always said birds of a feather flocked together, after all.
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A/N: POST FIC CLARITY HIT HARD IN THIS ONE AHHHHHH đłđł hope this satisfies the dark max hoes (yall are so real for that)đŒđŒ as usual let me know what you think and send in more requests!
#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x you#f1 smut#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#dark smut#smut#18+ mdni#dark max verstappen#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris fic#lando norris imagine#lando norris smut#lando norris x you#toto wolff#post fic clarity hit hard in t
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New Ryoko Kui interview dropped!!!
(This is a quick and dirty translation made using machine translation, and which I've lightly edited to add clarity. I'm not fluent in Japanese so I may have gotten things wrong. I'm sure others will do a better job later.
ADDITIONAL CONTEXT: This article is from a Japanese gaming magazine, like the previous interview in Famitsu, so they focus on video games and don't discuss other influences, even though they do get mentioned and are clearly pretty major.)
Kui was able to write "Dungeon Meshi" because she was not good at eating food and participating in human relationships. In this interview, we dig deeper into the influence of games, and how Ryoko Kui focuses on things she likes and dislikes while writing. [Writers of the Gaming Generation]
Dungeon Meshi.
This manga is attractive for its unique theme of "dungeons, defeating monsters in the labyrinth, and cooking them," as well as the unique characters, detailed human relationships, and deep worldview depicted in the labyrinth. It is currently being made into an anime, and adventurers from all over the world are fascinated by the world of "Dungeon Meshi."
So I thought , "I wonder if this work was drawn by someone who loves food and people." The depiction of such delicious-looking food and the construction of delicate human relationships and characters. Surely, it must have been drawn by someone who absolutely loves it.
However, in reality, the author, Kui Ryoko, says that she "is not good at either food or relationships."
So why was he able to continue drawing things she was not good at?
During the roughly 10 years of serialization, Kui has continued to confront "things she dislikes." This interview delves into Kui's unique creative techniques... and at the same time, it also delves into her "favorite things."
That's the "game"!
Those who are familiar with the subject may already know this, but Kui is also a big gamer. And it seems that "Dungeon Meshi" is heavily influenced by RPGs such as "Wizardry."
As a result, this interview turned out to be "I asked Kui a lot about her likes and dislikes." Likes and dislikes. They are the source of all interests and curiosity.
So how do we use this knowledge in our creative endeavors? How does this knowledge manifest itself in Dungeon Meshi?
How were those charming characters and the deep world created? We spoke to the original author, Kui Ryoko, and the editor, Masaru Hiroi, about things they could only talk about after the series was completed.
This is a game with the volume of a great labyrinth. I hope you will explore it all the way to the final floor!
Dungeon food. It's eat or be eaten. There is no superior or inferior, to eat food is simply a privilege of the living. Dungeon food. Ah, dungeon food.
First, I want to ask about how Kui first encountered video games.
--What are some influences from games in Dungeon Meshi? What was your first game, Ms. Kui?
Ryoko Kui (hereinafter referred to as Kui): I played traditional RPGs such as [blank?] and "Final Fantasy."
I think the first game console I ever played was a Famicom, which my parents won in a lottery . So before I knew it, we had a Famicom at home. I think my parents bought me the Super Famicom and PS1 after that...
After that, I took a break from games for a bit around the time of the PS2, but around the time of the PS4, I was finally able to buy games with the money I had earned myself .
--Why were you able to stay away from games around the time of the PS2?
Kui: I was too busy with exams, so I thought, "Well, I shouldn't be playing games," and left. When I started living alone after that, I couldn't play games because I didn't have a TV. My computer was also a Mac. [Macs aren't compatible with many games.]
--What was the trigger that made you think, "I want to play games" again?
Kui: I think the biggest thing was starting the serialization of "Dungeon Meshi."
Fantasy stories all have different settings, but at the same time, there are also things they share in common. For example, if you want to create a fantasy work, but you only know "Dragon Quest," it will end up resembling "Dragon Quest." It's scary to copy the setting of only one work.
So I just wanted to play a ton of different fantasy games and get an idea of ââwhat the most common general understanding of fantasy is.
--Did you start playing it while you were still developing the concept for Dungeon Meal?
Kui: That's right. If I'm going to talk about "eating food," I have to play a game that has a system for eating food .
So I was interested in "Dungeon Master." However, at the time there was no easy way to play "Dungeon Master" on a real machine, so I played "Legend of Grimrock", which can also be played on a Mac.
["Dungeon Master," is a computer RPG released in 1987. Time passes each time you take an action in the dungeon, such as moving, fighting, or resting, so its biggest feature is that the game progresses in real time according to the player's actions. "Legend of Grimrock," is an action RPG released in 2012. It has a game design similar to "Dungeon Master."]
Until then, I had felt that overseas games and games played on PC were too difficult, but I felt like I had overcome one obstacle there. I thought, "Oh, this is pretty easy," and started playing a lot of different games.
-- Those two games are quite heavy even among RPGs, I think, so did you actually have that much difficulty with them?
Kui: No...I would say that my impression is more that best-selling games are easy to play (laughs).
I'm not that good at games myself, so I usually play games that allow you to adjust the difficulty on a super easy setting. So, games that allow you to lower the difficulty are always a lifesaver.
-- I've heard that apart from RPGs , you also like games such as "13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim" and "Paranomasite FILE23: The Seven Mysteries of Honjo ." Do you have a favorite genre, Mr. Kui?
Kui: I guess I'm just not very good at games that require you to use your brain through trial and error.
But in RPGs, if you just level up and keep tapping, you can win and progress in the game. Also, in novel-type games, if you read the text, you can progress. By this process of elimination, I quite like RPGs and text-based games .
Personally, I like games like Disco Elysium the most, which are text-heavy, top-down, and have maps to explore.
...Even I think that's a pretty negative reason (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi Masaru (hereinafter referred to as Hiroi): But, Ms. Kui, you have really played quite a lot of games, haven't you?
Kui: No, the reason I'm able to play so much is because I play in a pretty callous way ...
I often buy a game, play it, and then just don't play it. So there aren't that many games I complete... I only complete a few a year. I play around 40 games, and if I complete 5 or 6, that's good.
When I asked if I could draw at Comitia, I got scolded.
-- Have you had any exposure to fantasy outside of digital RPGs?
Kui: I think it's not just games, but also the fact that I've always loved foreign fantasy novels . I was given books like "The Neverending Story," "The Lord of the Rings," and "The Chronicles of Narnia."
-- Dungeon Meshi gives off an atmosphere of Western fantasy like gamebooks or tabletop RPGs, rather than the typical Japanese fantasy games like Dragon Quest.
Hiroi: I think I went to Kui's house before the series started. At that time, we were discussing the name of a sci-fi manga called "Drawing Inside the Brain," which I had rejected many times.
Ms. Kui said she wanted to serialize this sci-fi manga... and when he was on the fourth draft, he said, "No, this isn't going to work," and when I looked at the scribbled notes next to her desk, she had already drawn the original version of "Dungeon Meshi" ! (laughs)
Kui: âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠNo, I don't remember much (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: But I had wanted to draw a manga about exploring a dark dungeon, like Wizardry .
Since I was in elementary school, the manga I drew in pencil in my notebooks were all fantasy stories about swords and magic, so I had always wanted to draw a proper fantasy manga. However, there weren't as many fantasy manga in bookstores at the time as there are now, so I wondered, "Maybe fantasy doesn't sell."
Hiroi: At the time, there were a lot of people in their teens and twenties posting fantasy illustrations on online communities for artists, such as pixiv, and Kui was one of them.
I thought, there are so many people who want to write fantasy, so if she writes a fantasy aimed at this generation, it might sell.
And when I saw Kui's notes, I thought to myself, "Let's make a straight-forward fantasy manga, without making it weirdly twisted."
Kui: I originally thought of making this "dungeon exploration manga" as just a hobby... When I asked Hiroi if I could draw it at Comitia first, he got angry.
[Comitia is a comics convention in Japan for original self-published comics.]
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi: I said, "If you're going to draw at Comitia, then make sure you draw it as a proper serialization!" (laughs)
However, at that time, Kui had already published two collections of short stories, and they were being reprinted. In other words, she had a certain number of fans even before the serialization began.
So I decided, if Kui creates a pure fantasy for those fans, we can't fail badly. If it doesn't work, we'll just learn that fantasy is difficult to sell after all.
--By the way, were there any discussions between you and Ms. Kui about the fact that fantasy doesn't sell?
Kui: I remember vaguely talking about how fantasy manga doesn't sell well and how difficult it seems. I don't know much about light novels, so that might have been there for a while.
However, since a lot of fantasy manga were coming out around the same time, it was probably a "transitional period ." Maybe it was just when people started to feel more and more like they wanted to draw and read fantasy.
Not everyone is that interested in the things I like
-- I feel that "Dungeon Meshi" is a title that has breathed new life into the fantasy genre. How did you go about creating the setting and world when dealing with fantasy?
Kui: I try to think, "Not everyone is that interested in the things I like."
I like to think about pointless settings endlessly, but there are times when I think , "When this setting is actually made into a manga, people probably won't be interested in this story." So I try to include things that will make people interested, and cut out things that will distract people as much as possible.
For example, in "Dungeon Meshi" I initially wanted everyone to speak various languages. On top of that, I wanted to make the characters "only able to communicate with each other in one language"... but Mr. Hiroi said "Don't do that" (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: Even when I'm drawing it myself, I think, "It takes more than six panels to explain this setting...", and if I explain the setting more than necessary, it slows down the pace of the story.
Moreover, since "Dungeon Meshi" was a monthly serialization, unlike a weekly series, there wasn't much time for extraneous stories. Specifically, I had to draw one episode of about 30 pages per month.
In that case, there was no time to add in settings like "Actually, he was thinking about this behind the scenes" or "Actually, he can speak two languages." So, rather than there being any clear choices, there were quite a few times when "there was no time to do things normally." If it had been a weekly serialization, I might have included more.
--Does the scene where Chilchuck yells insults in his own language feel rather "forced"?
Kui: That's right (laughs).I thought, this only takes one frame...it's my chance [to include information about language]!
--So you haven't thought through all of these "fictional languages" yet?
Kui: If Dungeon Meshi were to be my life's work and I were to spend my whole life creating this world, I think it would be more fun to think about it...but initially, I thought that Dungeon Meshi would end in a few years.
Hiroi: Initially, I said, "It'd be nice if it continued for about five volumes" (laughs).
However, Kui's first draft really had a lot of material... so the editors cut out a lot of it. I understand that it's the parts the readers want to read, but I cut out the parts that deviate from the main story. So it's a battle between the "author who doesn't want to be cut" and the "editor who wants to cut."
--By the way, what kind of discussion took place between the "parts you want to cut" and the "parts you don't want to cut"?
Kui: There were a lot of them every time, but I can't remember them specifically now...it was just small, unimportant details that got cut.
In the scene where the hams made by the Red Dragon go back into the pool of blood, I remember saying, "You don't need these," and they were about to cut them off, but I remember desperately stopping them by saying, "We'll need them later!" I'm glad they weren't cut off.
But once I think of the setting, I want to include things, and then they get cut out, so at first I didn't want to expand the world too much.
I also wanted to complete the story within the dungeon. I didn't want to reveal the name of the country, and I didn't want to give the characters surnames. But in the second half, Hiroi-san told me, "The world is too small, so you should make it bigger," and I was like, "Are you sure?"
--Mr. Hiroi, why did you say that?
Hiroi: As the story progressed, it became clear that "Dungeon Meshi" was no longer just about saving a sister in a dungeon. So I decided that it would be unconvincing if the story had no involvement with the outside world, since what was happening in the dungeon was something that would affect the fate of the whole world.
For example, in real life companies, the more important a decision you make, the higher your superior's rank becomes, right? When I thought about it that way, I felt something was off about the idea of ââLaios and his friends deciding the fate of the world on their own. "How can they make that decision without anyone knowing about it?"
The fact that the Canary Team was there meant that there must have been a system of reporting, contacting, and consulting here, because that's how "society" and "organizations" work.
In short, I think we were thinking about the situation and asking, "If an organization were to get involved in saving the world, how persuasive could they make it given the society that exists in the story?"
Kui: Well, the plot hasn't changed at all.
From the beginning, I had intended to write a story about saving the world, but I also thought it was possible for the world to be saved by only a select few people in the dungeon who knew the circumstances. Changing it was what Hiroi-san thought would make it more persuasive.
When I was drawing the first half, Hiroi told me, "You don't have to decide anything yet." I was in a hurry to move the story forward and explain the world and story setting, but he told me, "It's better to limit it to introducing the four main characters until about the fourth volume." But in the second half, he said, "Introduce more people and expand the world."
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi: Kui-san was like , "That's not what you said originally!" (laughs) But both had meaning...
Kui: I was the one saying, "If we expand the world there, the story will never end, right...?"
After drawing it through to the end, I realized that the balance between holding back and expanding didn't work the way I had expected. I think this is one of the reasons why the serialization of "Dungeon Meshi" took so long.
-- But there are a lot of characters in "Dungeon Meshi," and the relationships between them are complicated. I heard that you also created the relationship diagram for "Taikaishu" [â»3] ...
Kui: No, I haven't made one [I didn't do that?]!
[Taikaishu is a full-color web comic by Funako Tsukasa that began serialization on a website in 2005 and is still ongoing. Its unique worldview has earned it a loyal fanbase, especially on the Internet.]
-- Eh? Is that not the case?
Kui: To be precise, I just created an account on the fan wiki.
When I started reading "Taikaishu," I struggled with the complex setting and the large number of characters...and I thought "it would be easier to read if there was an explanation or a list of characters."
So I searched for a bulletin board where readers were sharing their thoughts and asked if there was a summary, but they said there wasn't. So I thought, "Maybe if there was a place where someone with more knowledge could summarize it," and I just made a wiki account.
So I didn't actually edit it. It seems like I've been given credit for someone else's work, and I'm sorry about that...
Dungeon Meshi was created from a sense of guilt about food?
-- "Dungeon Meshi" started off with the catchy theme of "cooking monsters," but little by little the darker aspects and deeper world were revealed. Was the structure of "little by little revealing the darker side" something you had in mind from the beginning?
Kui: I thought I needed a theme to serialize it so I thought I'd try "food education." There were a lot of gourmet manga at the time, but I felt like there weren't many that focused on food education.
-- Considering that the theme is "food education," it makes sense that the nutritional value of the dishes in the story is clearly written down.
Kui: With the theme of "food education," I also thought up a rough outline of the story. Rescue the kidnapped princess, defeat the evil wizard, defeat the final boss, and become king... the framework is pretty simple.
But when I actually tried to proceed with the plan, I realized, "No, this story can't be done so lightly..." At first, I thought I could draw it in a more light-hearted manner.
Hiroi: At first, you were trying to finish the fight against the Red Dragon in one episode, right? I was like, "is that possible?" (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: When I tried to actually tell it in one episode, it ended up feeling like a very brief summary... In order to tell the story I wanted to tell, I had to tell it more thoroughly than I originally thought.
-- Did you have any special thoughts about the theme of "food"?
Kui: No... well... if I had to choose, I'd say I have a strong grudge against food.
Since I was a child, I was a very picky eater, and mealtimes were a pain for me. I hated eating in front of other people, and there was a time when I hated seeing other people eating, so I would look for toilets that were rarely used and eat my meals in the toilet.
When I was doing it, the word "toilet meal" didn't exist, so when the term actually appeared in society I was so happy, thinking "everyone was doing it!"
[Toilet Meals are a social phenomenon in Japan.]
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: I was thinking, "This is so terrible, right...?" but it was a relief to realize that other people were doing the same thing.
--So what made you choose the theme of "food education"?
Kui: My parents, who were struggling with my picky eating, taught me many things, including the "triple eating" method, but it was no use and I continued to be a picky eater into adulthood. My parents had instilled knowledge about food education in me, but I was not able to put it into practice.
[Kui might be talking about Triangular Eating but I'm not sure.]
So the only thing that remains is that I feel an enormous amount of guilt when it comes to food and eating...
Hiroi: If you think about it objectively, the series starts off on a very negative note.
Kui: But now I've gotten over the habit of eating with other people... or rather, I've come to like it. My editor takes me to lots of delicious places.
--When I was a student, I was trying to leave my udon bowl at school, but my teacher found out and made me eat the packet of udon by myself. There was no soup, and it was really hard to eat the udon by itself.
Kui: It must be tough. I tried to hide it, but my teacher found out and I got really angry.
Hiroi: I've tried to hide it in a drawer before. Then, something dried up came out of the drawer... (laughs bitterly).
How can I draw things I hate?
-- Or rather, is it the fact that you're not good at it that gives you a higher level of insight into the food?
Kui: I think it's because you're interested in it that you either like it or dislike it. Inevitably, you spend a lot of time thinking about it.
Since "Dungeon Meshi" depicts a lot of food, one might think "Do I like eating?", but in fact there are many times when I draw it because I dislike something .
--Aside from food, do you also draw things that you dislike?
Kui: Maybe. For example, human relationships, modern times, fashion...?
-- Perhaps the relationships between the characters in "Dungeon Food" are portrayed so delicately because the author is not good at dealing with human relationships?
Kui: I've always been very curious about things like, "(This person is usually so cold, but has such a charming smile in front of other people)" ...
I feel the same way, but I think people are different in the way they show their true colors. I think it's strange that it stands out to me...
-- I have a simple question. When you draw something you hate, how do you feel? No matter how much you hate something, do you find it fun to draw it?
Kui: The events in the manga don't directly involve me, so I don't dislike the things I'm drawing as much. Also, when I draw while looking for the good parts, it can lead to new discoveries.
Also, I think it's scary to draw only what I like.
In my work, the important thing is "what to capture with the camera," and there's no need to go out of your way to capture filthy things, but at the same time, I think the world will look bigger if you keep in mind that "there are a lot of inconvenient, dirty, and unpleasant things outside the camera." That's the feeling I have when I paint/create manga.
When playing a game, if I have to choose between a game where I only feel like I'm in the world inside the game screen, and a game where I feel like there are lots of people living on the other side of the screen, and that the people in that world could travel anywhere they wanted, I think the latter is more fun to play.
I'm always thinking about how to express that "sense of the vastness of the world" ...and I personally like games that have "a world" to them.
-- Do you ever incorporate elements from the game into your manga?
Kui: On the contrary, I think that is a part that cannot be adopted .
The best thing about games is that each person has a different experience. Games that have lots of endings are also a result screen for what you've done up until that point. When I see something like that, I think, "That's so cool."
Personally, I think that's the game's greatest appeal, and something that could never be replicated in a manga that doesn't have players.
If you're so busy, when do you play games?
-- I'm personally curious, how do you find the time to play games? Even though you're busy with your work as a manga artist, you play quite a lot of games.
Kui: I often use the Steam Deck before going to bed or during breaks between writing manuscripts. In fact, I almost only use the Steam Deck now. I keep it by my pillow, so I can take it and play before going to sleep, or during breaks...
--Is Steam Deck really that convenient?
Kui: I recommend it. The screen is small, but it can run Cyberpunk 2077 .
Also, personally, I've gotten tired of having to turn on my PC to start up a game...with Steam Deck, I can just turn it on and it starts up instantly, even when I'm lying down. How do you writers usually play games? There are times when you have to play games for work, aren't there?
--When it comes to work, I calculate backwards how long I'll be playing before I start playing...If it's a game that can be completed in about 60 hours, I usually estimate that I'll play for 3 hours a day and complete it for 20 days in a row.
Hiroi: It's a lot of work!
Kui: That's amazing... You really are a gamer.
I've always thought that I have a talent for playing games ... but I'm not really good at that. If I'm given a game that's a little difficult, I get tired of it right away, and I'm not very good at trial and error. The range of things I can enjoy is very narrow.
I wonder if game developers around the world are also struggling with the question of "Should I make my games accessible to a wide range of people, even those who aren't particularly gamers?" or "Should I make games that are challenging and can be played deeply?" The same problem exists with manga, too.
When there's a game that I can't play well, I feel happy because it means the creator decided that there's no need to pander to people who can't keep up.
-- By the way, when you play games, do you do it as a normal "hobby"? Or do you play more often to find material for your manga?
Kui: Of course, a big part of it is that I play games as a hobby, but it is alleviated by the fact that playing games might be useful for my work (laughs).
Even if I'm not that interested in a game, if I think "it might be useful for work," I'll find the courage to buy it, and no matter how expensive a gaming PC is, I can still buy it if I think of it as a work tool. So the hurdles for many things related to games are lowered for the reason that it's "for work."
--So, when you read manga, do you feel like you're reading it for work?
Kui: In my case, manga has become my job, so when I read it I can't help but think of work.
However, I still enjoy gaming as a hobby . That's why I don't want to lose this hobby... and I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it as much if I get involved in games as a job, so I don't take on any games-related jobs.
Does the depth of the world come from the fact that it is "not decided"?
-- I heard in advance that "Dungeon Meshi" was written with a clear awareness of "what should be explained" and "what shouldn't be explained," so could you tell me more about that?
Kui: Having read a variety of fantasy novels and games, I thought that the "moment of discouragement" was the "repeated use of foreign words." When you write something like "XX of XX of XX," if there are three or more katakana characters, there is a high chance that it will be skipped over by Japanese readers.
That's why I try to refer to town names as "the neighboring town" whenever possible, and refer to characters who appear in flashbacks as "uncle" rather than by their full names, so that readers can understand without having needing exposition.
The magic used during battles in "Dungeon Meshi" is depicted in such a way that you can "understand what kind of magic it is just by looking at the picture."
-- What other aspects of Dungeon Meshi are there that you deliberately left out of its concrete settings?
Kui: Numbers and language are the settings I avoided touching. For example, just by deciding the month of birth, it is first determined that there is a moon in this world. From there, it is also determined that there is gravity.
What's more, just the concept of a "birthday" means that there is a division into a "year" and that the world is determined to have a 365-day cycle. It quickly becomes complicated.
But on the other hand, if I were to set the details and make it something like "This country's currency is 1 gold, which is worth 5 yen," it would be a burden on the reader. When reading the work, the reader would be forced to convert it into "1 gold = 5 yen" in their minds every time. That's why I try to write it with "readability as a priority" as much as possible.
However, if you're creating a "fantasy" in the truest sense of the word, it would be better to create something that corresponds to that world's calendar or metric system in order to really immerse yourself in that world, so it's difficult to get the balance right...
-- I think that style of "deliberately not giving explanations" is quite amazing.
Hiroi: I think that 's definitely partly because "Dungeon Meshi" is a silly title.
The "mindset" of the reader is a little different...I think that from the very beginning, the reader is made to recognize that "this work isn't going to say anything too difficult."
Kui: Also, we had to give a bit of thought to coming up with the character names.
For example, the main characters in Wizardry are given names that correspond to their professions, such as "Warrior" or "Wizard." The "Senshi" in Dungeon Meshi was taken from that ... I named him after thinking, "I want that person to play an active role."
That's why I wanted the overseas version of Senshi's name to be "Fighter", but I was worried that overseas readers would be like, "What does that mean...!?" so I kept it in my head.
--The character names in "Dungeon Meshi" tend to be around 3 or 4 letters long and fit nicely.
Kui: If the name gets too long, it won't fit in the speech bubble...It's generally said that a line in a speech bubble should be about 7 to 8 characters long to be easy to read.
So "Chillchuck" is really long... I actually thought that the abbreviation "Chill" could be used more, so I named it that way, but it didn't work out so well, so in the end I just kept calling it "Chillchuck". Even I was thinking "that's long" while drawing it (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: Anyway, there are quite a few manga-like circumstances where "maybe four characters would be enough."
--By the way, are there any rules for naming the characters in "Dungeon Meshi"?
Kui: It's not detailed, but there are "settings within the story" and "meta-settings that are just for my own enjoyment."
For example, [if Dungeon Meshi was a game] the Shuro party has names that would be given by a certain type of player. When playing a games, some people give their characters themed names that follow self-imposed rules. In that sense, meta-wise, the Shuro party is played by a player who names their characters with a plant-based restriction.
Also, since the player likes girls, the party members are all girls, and so on... (laughs).
Hiroi: Oh, I didn't know that!
Kuon: ...While it's fun for myself, I also create characters by asking questions like, "Why is the party mainly made up of women?" or "Why do they all have similar names?"
However, even if I revealed these settings in the story, it wouldn't have made the story any more interesting, so they are merely "settings that only exist in my own mind."
-- What are some specific examples of "settings that you deliberately didn't reveal"?
Hiroi: I still remember when I said, "I want you to depict the elven kingdom in more detail," Kui replied, "That's going too far."
The dwarven country was depicted quite a bit, so I personally thought it could have been shown a little more...
Kui: I felt that if I depicted that, it would limit the reader's imagination.
There are definitely "lines that suggest something might happen," and when it comes to parts that are better left to the reader's imagination, I often choose not to draw them.
Also, even when we present settings that readers think they can just skim through, they often try hard to remember them...
It all started with the manga "Eating soba through your nose."
--Let's go back to the topic a little. How did Ms. Kui and Mr. Hiroi meet?
Hiroi: I think we scouted her.
I saw a short story that Kui had posted on Pixiv and sent him an email asking if I would like to draw a manga. I remember that he had a really funny four-frame manga called "Eating soba noodles through your nose ." It was about a character eating soba noodles through his nose and crying out in pain... I think I was drawn to his drawing ability, which made me feel like "Wow, that looks painful" when I saw it (laughs).
And from that point on, we have come to this point.
[This may not be the exact comic that Hiroi is talking about, but it's a comic Kui posted on her blog about someone eating soba through their nose.]
Kui: Oh, is that so? Isn't it something like "Shugaku Tenshi" [â»4] ?
Hiroi: No, that's not true! The manga about eating soba noodles through the nose was made before "Shingaku Tenshi". By the way, that manga was planned to be published in "Rakugakihon" , but when I asked Kui-san "Can I publish this?", she was very against it...
Kui: No, that's fine, but... I didn't think other people would find it that interesting.
Everyone: (laughs).
Hiroi: But that was more than 10 years ago...
--By the way, was Mr. Hiroi the first publisher to contact you?
Kui: Before that, an editor at East Press had contacted me. I was originally publishing fantasy manga that I had drawn as a hobby on my personal website. I compiled them into a self-published original comic and exhibited it at Comitia, and they asked me, "Would you like to publish this long manga as a book?"
However, after the editor asked around to various people, it seems he was told that "this will be hard to sell"... so the plan was dropped. Instead, it was decided to release a "short story collection" of short manga that had been published at the same time . This is "The Dragon's School is on the Mountain: A Collection of Works by Ryoko Kui" published by East Press.
I was contacted by a few other people as well, but the two people I still keep in contact with are Mr. Hiroi and the editor at East Press.
-- When you went from drawing short stories and web comics to starting a commercial serialization, did you study anything like "how to draw a serialized work"?
Kui: I learned almost everything about how to draw manga from Mr. Hiroi and the editors and writers at Harta .
I had absolutely no understanding of whether panel layout was good or bad, so up until the middle of the serialization, I would rearrange the storyboards one panel at a time, and I would get lectured like "Don't put a panel like this here."
I was also impressed when I was shown original manuscripts by other artists. They look beautiful in print, but the real thing is even more impressive. This is what it means to be good at drawing manga.
It didn't finish as I expected
-- Speaking of "serialization," you mentioned earlier that you initially intended to end it at about volume 5. Did "Dungeon Meshi" continue longer than you had anticipated, Ms. Kui?
Kui: First of all, I didn't really understand what a "serialized" comic meant, so I didn't even know how much of a story I could get done in how many pages. So, I thought I could wrap up the story nicely in about five years, in five volumes.
But I never quite got around to finishing it. It was so hard... (laughs).
Hiroi: To be honest, when I first heard "Volume 5,"I thought to myself, "(Are you kidding me...?)" I didn't say it out loud though (laughs).
--Honestly, even as a reader, around the time of the fight with the Red Dragon in volumes 4 and 5 I was starting to feel like, "Huh? It seems like it's coming to an end soon..."
Kui: From the beginning, my goal was to "defeat the Red Dragon at the halfway point." However, I was supposed to fight the Red Dragon in Volume 4, even though it was supposed to be 5 volumes. So I thought, "Huh? It's not over yet," and I gradually lost interest.
By the time I got to around volume 10, I felt like no matter how much I drew, it would never end. I didn't want to drag it out, but no matter how much I drew, it just never seemed to finish.
Hiroi: Even from an editor's perspective, it seemed like Kui was getting very anxious from around volume 10 onwards.
-- Having finished the long-running serialization of "Dungeon Meshi," did you experience any changes in your mindset?
Kui: I think it was great to have the experience of learning that it would take 10 years to draw a story of this scale. And when I think about my lifespan and how many more works I can draw... it makes me dizzy.
Hiroi: I feel like I'm constantly fainting...
-- Ms. Kui, are there still any works you want to draw in your mind?
Kui: Not that much. But I love drawing manga, so I want to draw a lot. I don't know if I'll have the stamina to continue for another 10 volumes, but I want to continue working as a manga artist somehow.
But maybe... I don't think it will sell that well next time...
Hiroi: Stop! Don't say that!
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: In that respect, "Dungeon Meshi" sold well, so I was able to draw what I had imagined to the end. Next time, I think it would be better to consider the opposite scenario of "if it doesn't sell" and make it shorter.
That's the next new challenge.
-- In addition to the expectations for your next work, do you feel any pressure?
Kui: In my case, the first collection of short stories I published was fairly well received. For a manga I drew for the first time, that's about it.
That was a relief, but at the same time, I felt that "Ideally, the reputation of my next work will also steadily increase, but there will definitely be ups and downs." If the reputation of the next work is bad, will I be able to continue drawing without getting discouraged? I realized that the "battle with myself" had just begun , and I was terrified when I read the first volume.
What game has cute illustrations, in your opinion?
Kui: This is a completely different topic, but you 've played SaGa Frontier 2 , haven't you? Aren't the pixel art in SaGa Frontier 2 really cute?
--The pixel art in SaGa Frontier 2 is...the best!
Kui: The illustrations in "SaGa Frontier 2" have such exquisite balance... if you try to express that in a picture, you can't reproduce that cuteness. It's like "exquisite head-to-body ratio."
-- In your opinion, Ms. Kui, are there any games that have cute illustrations?
Kui: The first one that comes to mind is definitely SaGa Frontier 2. Also, I still remember how cute the character designs were in Final Fantasy Tactics.
But back in the day, I used to trace characters from FF7 . I thought, "There are so many cool designs in the world..." (laughs).
Hiroi: Nomura (Tetsuya)'s drawings are amazing, aren't they?
Kui: I traced Cloud and Aerith on tracing paper and quietly said to myself, "So cool..." and got really excited. I noticed something while I was working on the "Dungeon Meshi" anime...basically, games and anime are made by many people, aren't they? So I always thought, "Many people must be giving various opinions to make them."
But when I got involved, I realized that one person's power is quite large. This was quite surprising. I thought that there were multiple people who wrote the script and storyboards, and that each person had their own responsibility, but... the power of one person is quite large.
ââNo matter how much the work is divided up, it's important to have a director or supervisor who brings it all together.
Kui: Yes, in the end, it depends on the power of the person who takes the lead ...
However, at the same time, I think that the division of labor between scriptwriting and storyboarding is something that would never be possible with manga. In the end, you have to create everything in one person's mind, so "bias" inevitably arises. So personally, I don't like the idea of ââit becoming a "world created in one person's mind."
Hiroi: However, not only in manga but also in novels, the individual author's personality is strongly expressed. I wouldn't go so far as to say "ideology"... but the person's way of thinking is strongly expressed.
Kui: Speaking of which, people who create games alone, such as indie games, are amazing.
It's often said that manga artists "come up with everything, from the art to the story, all by themselves," but I don't think they can compete with independent game creators who create the music, programming, and art all by themselves.
Moreover, even more than manga, no one can give their opinion until the game is completed. If you think about it that way, making a game by yourself is really a "one-man battle." At the same time, what I like about games is that there are quite a few "works that are not made with much consideration for cost" ... I enjoy it a little bit.
-- Do you ever think, "I want to make a game?"
Kui: I once bought RPG Maker , but it ended up being a complete failure... (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Love for "classic RPGs" was a major influence on "Dungeon Meshi"
-- I'd like to ask you, Ms. Kui, since you play a lot of titles on Steam and other platforms, have you ever had any problems playing a game?
Kui: Simply put, a "game that doesn't work" is a problem (laughs).
This sometimes happens with games made by individuals on Steam... they don't have any reviews, so there's no way to deal with it other than contacting them directly. There have been a few times when I've been stuck and wondered, "What should I do?"
Other times, I'll buy a title that just happens to pop up at the top of Steam's rankings. Sometimes I'll play it thinking, "The graphics are kind of cute, so I'll give it a try," only to find that it's incomplete beyond the framework.
--So now people are playing titles that aren't that major.
Kui: Also, when I played Planescape: Torment, which is said to have influenced Disco Elysium.
While playing, I came across a character who was suffering from a terrible curse that made his whole body smell and become sticky. A quest was triggered to ask the NPC who had cast the curse to lift it, but when I asked them to lift the curse, I ended up being cursed with a curse that made me have constant hiccups ...
So when I was walking around the town, the "hiccup" dialogue started popping up all the time. What's more, every time it happened, I would freeze up for about 0.1 seconds. All the dialogue was filled with "hiccups." Anyway, it was a troubling curse.
I had no idea how to deal with this either, so I decided to just kill the NPC who had put the curse on me. The NPC also challenged me by saying, "Maybe if you kill me, the curse will be lifted?", so I tried killing him, but... it didn't lift the curse at all (laughs).
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: I thought maybe the quest would progress in other places, so I walked around here and there, but the curse was not lifted after all. I was really curious, so I looked back at overseas information exchange thread online, and I found someone had written a lecture that said "You know what happens if you kill an important NPC without thinking about it, right?"
So I realized that this curse can never be lifted again. Even if I wanted to rewind, it was an auto-save, so I had to go back almost to the beginning... I was really... in trouble!
-- But "Planescape: Torment" hits a pretty impressive spot. Was it something that just happened to catch your eye while you were browsing Steam?
Kui: I originally liked games in the same genre as Baldur's Gate, so I think that's how I got into Planescape.
Also, I saw information that a huge amount of text in Planescape was translated by one person... I'm not very good at English, and games like Planescape have a lot of text to begin with, so I'm at a loss if it's not translated into Japanese .
However, when extraordinary people like those who make Planescape use their precious time from their lives to accomplish great things, I feel very grateful.
-- So, Ms. Kui, do you prefer games that are closer to the classics?
Kui: That's right. The first game I played was The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, and it was so much fun that I searched for "games similar to Skyrim" and played a lot of the games that came up.
All of them were completely different games from Skyrim, but they were fun. However, I don't like "old games". I think that newer games are generally more polished and well-made.
-- Wizardry, which influenced Dungeon Meshi, is also a classic work.
Kui: When I was a child, I saw my father playing Wizardry V : The Heart of the Maelstrom. As time passed, I remembered that there was a game called Wizardry. The game I played at that time was Wizardry VI: Forbidden Pencil.
I also played Wizardry V , but it was hard to see the map unless I chanted a spell. I was directionally challenged, so even though I had a guidebook at hand, I couldn't progress.
--By the way, were you more interested in making a manga out of "Wizardry" than the tabletop RPG "D&D" ?
Kui: When I was researching fantasy, "D&D" was often mentioned... but I had never even heard of "TRPG" before. First of all, you can't play it without friends, and I was shocked to find out that lots of people have friends they can play with like this...!?
Everyone: (laughs).
Kui: So when I looked up TRPGs on Wikipedia, I couldn't imagine that people actually played this kind of game. I was more confused and thought, "How can people really role-play in front of other people?"
After that, I watched replay videos on YouTube and it was only then that I understood how games like D&D worked.
Games, manga, novels. What is the purpose of all creative works?
-- What was the last game you played?
Kui: Recently I played a school management game called "Let's School." It's made by a Chinese company that also made "My Time at Sandrock."
Hiroi: You really like that kind of game, don't you? (laughs) Oh? Haven't you played "FF7 Rebirth" ?
Kui: I'm thinking about playing the remake of FF7 once it's completed.
Hiroi: No, no, if we don't do it now, we'll never finish it! It'll be a long time before we do it!
--Honestly, I also thought it would take about 10 years for FF7 Rebirth to be released.
Hiroi: I thought it would take about that long too... I really wanted it to be completed while I could still see. So, please do it!
Kui: Once it's finished...I want to play it all at once (laughs).
--Do you and Ms. Kui often talk about games?
Hiroi: Ms. Kui sometimes says, "I want to talk about this game, so I want you to play it." I played "Red Dead Redemption" because of that. Also, a long time ago, Ms. Kui recommended "13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim."
Kui: Whenever there's a game I want to discuss with someone, I always recommend it to Hiroi.
But maybe I haven't been playing games as much lately. Until now, I've been playing games because I thought of it as "for work," but now that the serialization of Dungeon Meshi has ended, I've been playing less games.
Moreover, I'm not the type of person who gets that into one game...I don't generally play through a game in repeated playthroughs, and I'm usually satisfied once I've finished the story.
Hiroi: Then we have to start [a new ] serialization soon.
Everyone: (laughs).
-- I'd like to ask you personally, do you have any "recommended indie games"?
Kui: I highly recommend "Papers, Please" and "Return of the Obra Dinn."
First of all, "Papers, Please" is a simple "spot the difference" game, so I didn't have high expectations at first. But when I played it, I felt like there was a proper "world" to it . Also, I was curious to see how the story continued.
And "Return of the Obra Dinn" had a great atmosphere. There were hints to solving the puzzles if you looked closely, but there was also a good balance of being able to force your way through, and the music and production were cool.
Hiroi: Come to think of it, you read quite a bit of the novel after the serialization ended, didn't you?
Kui: Ah, you mean "1984" by George Orwell? That was good...
I've always thought that creativity isn't necessary for life... It's entertainment, so it's not essential to life. But after reading "1984," I thought, "I guess creativity is necessary after all."
Humans need stories to experience things that should never come true, to prepare for bad things, and to prepare for understanding other people... You might think, "You should have already learned that when you were younger," but I was deeply moved by this realization.
Anyway, I feel that it would be great if people could learn things they didn't know before through this work.
Hiroi: ...Overall, it just felt like we had a fun time talking about games (laughs).
Kui: We just used the interview as an excuse to talk about the game (laughs).
-- No no, thank you very much for sharing your valuable story! (End)
I think I can understand a little bit about being interested in things you hate.
It's easy to analyze "why do you like something?" when you like it, but it's surprisingly difficult to analyze "why do you dislike something?" When you understand the reason, it seems that "why do you dislike it" is often more meaningful.
Perhaps creative works exist in part to help us understand the things we dislike.
I was able to hear a lot of deep "creation stories" that made me think about such things. Also, Ms. Kui is a huge gamer. Mr. Hiroi also likes games quite a bit. Since serious talk and game discussions alternated, the content may have been emotionally confusing. But I feel like "Dungeon Meshi" has a similar atmosphere.
If you haven't read "Dungeon Meshi," please take this opportunity to read it. It depicts a fun adventure. On top of that, it may help you prepare for difficult things that might happen in your life someday. Of course, it's also extremely interesting as a manga. I think it's definitely one of the best "entertainment" of our time.
Why does the body want to live? What does the mind want?
This is because we have a "desire" to pursue what we like and dislike. In fact, "things we dislike" are just as important as "things we like." By understanding our own "likes and dislikes" through creative works and entertainment, humans can prepare for things that happen in their future lives. Food and creative works are equally important for human growth.
...That said, I'm not sure if it has a nice punchline, or maybe not.
To eat. To experience creative works. These are truly the privileges of life. In order to live, we must continue to eat.
Now it's time to eat. What shall we eat today?
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HEATWAVE || Joel Miller x f!reader || 2,5k
Summary: Joel helps you to cool down on a hot summer day. In his own way.
Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, pwp, horny!Joel, sweaty filthy sex, m!masturbation, unprotected piv, creampie, cum eating, fingering, praise kink, swearing, pet names (baby, sweetheart). Pics are for the mood only, reader has no specific physical descriptions.
A/n: Iâve been dying of heat all week but imagining Joel railing me slightly alleviated my hardship. Hot Joel kiss to @milla-frenchy for beta-ingđ Dividers by @saradika-graphics đHope you will enjoy this story. Love ya!â€ïž
same couple - HEATWAVE collection || MASTERLIST
âDonât, Joel.â
âWhat?â
âDonât touch me, please. Itâs too fucking hot.â
Joel sighs and falls back on the couch as you shift away from his feet, getting comfortable as far as possible from his heat radiating body.
âFine. Jusâ wanted to make you feel good. Youâve been snappy all day.â
âSorry. Itâs all this damn heat! Iïżœïżœm dying without the AC!â You groan and shake the hem of your crop top, trying to cool off just a little. Youâre wearing the tiniest shorts you could find but nothing really helps when youâre dealing with a Texas summer without any conditioning.
âItâll be fixed tomorrow, baby, donât worry.â
âI know but⊠ugh!â
You throw a glance at Joel who has the most sympathetic expression on his handsome face. You also canât deny that he looks hot like this, completely naked except for his home shorts. His broad chest, rising and falling in steady rhythm, is glistening with sweat, his thick thighs are spread and his cock is slightly tenting his only garment. Youâd eat him whole if not for the fucking heat!
Torturing you even more he gives you his bedroom eyes and you bite your lip, thinking how to fuck him without touching him. Suddenly your gaze lights up.
âOh! I know what we need!â
He raises one brow in a silent question and you start hastily explaining, at the same time grabbing your phone off the coffee table and opening a browser,
âIâm gonna look for hot weather sex positions.â
Joel chuckles and you furrow your brows at the man.
âNo, donât laugh. They minimize skin contact and should be easy on the movements. I saw an article once.â
Your pussy aches more and more the longer you watch Joel splay on the couch and you need him to be on board with your idea but he doesnât seem very enthusiastic.
âNot sure itâll help much butâŠletâs try it,â he shrugs and you beam at him before typing away.
As always when you need it the most, the internet is slow and you shake your leg, already losing patience.
In your peripheral vision you notice Joel move and your eyes shift from your phone screen to him for just a second. You do a double take when you see him pull the waistband of his shorts down, freeing his semi hard cock, as his mischievous gaze is set on you.
"What are you doing?" you groan at the sight of his big hand, wrapping around his long juicy member.
"Jus' a lil' pre-game, baby. Go on with your research."
You watch him give his manhood a few languid pumps and your mouth waters when some wetness beads on the tip. A new surge of desire burns your core and your breathing fastens. A few seconds later you remember what you were doing and turn away from the hot sight so you could return to the task at hand.
You try to open the first link but itâs loading for eternity so you close it with a curse and press the second one.
Then soft grunts reach your ear and you see Joel pleasure himself in earnest, as his cock is drooling on his veiny hand.
âHey, wait for me, would you?â You grumble, tapping the same link three times, as if it can make it open faster.
âIâm imagining your hand doing it, sweetheart,â Joel smirks with his eyes already hazy as his palm is sliding up and down his length, thumb brushing over the tip from time to time, âor your pretty mouth, licking my cock. Oh, I bet your pussy wants some of this. She doesnât care about the heat.â
You know heâs teasing you so youâd hurry up but the solution of your problem is so close that you canât just stop now. So you fix your shorts that are sticking to your already wet folds and avert your eyes from your tormentor.
âFucking cookies,â you curse, getting hotter because of the sweltering weather and also after noticing Joel buck his hips to fuck his fist better.
Finally you find an illustration of an almost contactless sex position and tilt your head, trying to understand it.
âWhereâs his..? Oh! But⊠Nah. Iâd break your dick like that.â
âWe donât want that,â Joel chuckles, his voice strained with pleasure heâs giving himself.
Youâve never seen him jerk his cock for such a long time so your gaze involuntarily shifts away from your phone again and you shamelessly stare at his hand gliding up and down his stiffness.
âWe miss you,â Joel taunts you, seeing desire paint your face, and shakes his cock from side to side, spilling precum everywhere.
âJoel..â You whine and using every ounce of your will you tear your eyes away from his body and return them to the screen.
âOk, this one is more doable. But itâll take me forever to come like that⊠Oh and this⊠this just defies gravity.â
Giggling at the picture, you show Joel the screen and he gives you a polite smile but his half-lidded eyes tell you that heâs already deep in the ocean of lust, close to reaching his high.
Your gaze slides down to his throbbing cock, his big hand jerking it and you give up. You throw your phone back on the table and with a quiet âFuck it,â you decide to literally fuck it. Fuck Joel.
Your manâs eyes light up as he coos at you,
âYeah, câmere, baby. Come sit on your popsicle.â
You laugh, climbing up the couch over his huge body and straddling his thighs. His skin is unbearably hot but your need overshadows everything.
You take his cock in your sweaty hands and purr, wetting your lips, âpopsicle? shall I lick it first then?â
âUsually I wouldnât say ânoâ to that, butâŠ,â he says, taking in your body, wrapped in a tight crop top and little shorts. You hear him groan as you lean down to his leaking cock but then his hand on your cheek stops you, âbut! Iâve been playing without you and ⊠My cockâs ready for your sweet pussy, baby. Gimme.â
With that he shifts to the side and pulls you to lie down next to him on the couch. The warmed up surface and Joelâs huge body pressed close to you make you whine as another wave of heat hits you.
âShh,â Joel shushes you and clumsily sits up, almost making you fall off the narrow seat.
He takes his shorts off and helps you discard your clothes as well.
âFuck, look at you,â he mumbles, his hungry eyes travelling over your exposed body, âwanna lick you all over.â
You take a sharp breath, suffocating with lust, but then Joel does the unforgivable. He lays down on top of you, pushing your legs apart with his knee, and youâre about to cry at how hot the vast expanse of his sweaty skin makes you.
âJoel!â You cry out, trying to push him off, palms braced on his chest, but the next second his lips crash against yours and heâs giving you a heady kiss which quickly makes you forget all about the heat. Youâre immediately enchanted by him, his taste, his desire for you. The kiss is sloppy and messy and you cool off a little whenever your wet lips part from each other, even only for a second.
Soon sweat coats your body and Joelâs cock pulsating against your belly turns you into a desperate puddle. To get some respite from the heat, you tilt your head down and blow on your chest.
âIt wonât help,â Joel murmurs, âMaybe this will.â
He hunches over you, leans down and licks a long stripe from your breast over your neck and jaw and reaches your lips and kisses you again. You hum with pleasure, noting your salty taste on his tongue and enjoying the sensation of the cooling wet path on your skin.
Youâre making out for a few more seconds but the ache between your thighs makes your wriggle under him and Joel hastily lifts his torso and hovers over you, his chest inches from yours as you breathe out after this tiny relief. You glance down and see his heavy cock rest on your mound, his balls pressed to your folds, some wetness smeared on your belly where he is leaking on you. The sight makes you whine his name and reach for his big member.
Itâs hot, stiff and damp when you caress it gently with your fingers and Joelâs dark eyes lower to the place where youâre making him even harder if itâs even possible.
âPut it in, sweetheart. Want you on my cock already. Youâre drippinâ all over me. My balls are fuckinâ drenched.â
His Texan drawl is even more apparent when heâs so turned on and you know itâs time for him to fuck you. But he teased you so much. Why canât you?
You throw your legs apart wider, but pressing your hips deeper into the couch, pull away from Joelâs hot crotch. You feel the air slightly cooling your sopping pussy and it feels so amazingly good, that a gasp climbs up your throat.
âWhereâre you goinâ, naughty girl?â Joel groans and rolls his hips against your pussy, scorching you with his heated thighs, balls and cock, making you mewl. He overplays you, making your hungry hole clench around nothing, clit twitch and you immediately bring your hand down and push his pulsating hot length into your soaked entrance. Both of you moan loudly at the anticipated sensation.
Joel drops his body on you again, holding some of his weight as he braces his forearm on the couch.
You should be uncomfortable, annoyed, hot and miserable but all you feel is his cock spreading your insides, his balls rubbing against your ass. His scent, a mixture of sweat and musk with a slight trace of his favorite piney deodorant, envelops you completely. He invades all your senses at once and you let him, welcome it with your body and soul.
âJoel,â you whisper, choking on your feelings and hugging him even closer.
âI know, baby, I love you too,â he replies, covering your whimpering mouth with his and drinking your ohâs and ahâs.
Soon heâs rolling his hips, his thrusts languid and gentle, as youâre making out, glued together by desire and love. You become one as the heat, radiating from the two of you and the sweat on your skin are mixing together and your bodies slide against each other in this lustful dance.
His cock is massaging your walls, kissing your cervix with its fat head and you glide your hands over the expense of Joelâs dewy back, shoulders and arms before they sneak down and you grab handfuls of his ass. You start grinding your pussy against his pelvic bone and coarse hair.
Suddenly Joel lifts his torso and looks at you, blown out eyes darting between yours, his hips still moving.
âYouâre drowninâ my cock, sweetheart. So fuckinâ wet. My perfect pussy. Wanna see?â
After hearing your sultry âyeahâ, Joel brings his hand to your face, brushes your lower lip with his thumb and then his palm glides down your heated body. Your skin erupts in goosebumps from the gentle contact and you whimper when he runs his fingers over your slicked up folds, spread around his fat cock.
You lift your hips chasing his touch on your clit, and he grants your wish. His index and middle finger find your hardening bud and he swirls it for a few seconds, closely watching your reaction. Your lips part and eyes flutter shut, as his cock and fingers make your pussy purr. Joelâs manhood twitches deep inside you before he pauses his thrusts into your wet heat.
Suddenly he pulls his cock out entirely.
âJoel! No!â
He tsks at you for the impatience but then his girthy length gets replaced by three of his fingers and you gasp and then moan when he begins pushing them in and out of your messy cunt, curling them to press the pleasure spot inside your core.
Joel sees how close youâre by the way your eyes roll to the back of your head and your walls start squeezing his digits harder and harder. He places his thumb on your clit and pushes, sending a new wave of ecstasy to your brain and you cry out as your climax hits your sweaty body. The drops of your sweat slide down on the couch because of how hard you tremble under him and Joel watches the euphoria course through you with an adoring gaze.
âYeah, jusâ like that. Good girl.â
When you still and open your spent eyes at him, his fingers curve inside you as he scoops your slick and cum and then pulls them out. He raises his hand and watches your creamy juices slide down his hand.
âJoel,â is all you manage to mewl, witnessing your liquid euphoria.
With his tongue peeking out, he brings his hand to your chest and paints your pebbled nipple with your wetness. Then he leans closer and blows on it and you moan at the temperature change.
âYeah, you like it, huh? Dirty girl.â
As if confirming his words, your nipple hardens more and with a grunt Joel latches onto your breast and licks off the taste of your pussy. You whimper as another course of pleasure reignites your core.
Joel hums, enjoying the flavor of your skin, and the next moment his cock spears you in one go and he begins pounding into you, pulling his hips back fast and thrusting his throbbing manhood into your sopping pussy with hard and sharp strokes. His tongue continues dancing over your tits and you clench his curls with the last drops of strength you have in your spent body. After a few more thrusts, Joel parts from your puffy nipple and growls, still railing you.
âFuck, babyâ choke my cock againâ Câmon, be a good girlâcome again.â
He kisses you passionately while his hand slithers down between your bodies and he starts rubbing your clit, chanting, âOne more, one more.â
In no time youâre squealing as your pussy is clamping around his cock and it sends him over the precipice. Joel breathes out a moan and his hips jerk again and again, sending rope after rope of his hot cum inside you. Your cunt keeps milking him of the last drop as he presses his sweaty forehead to yours, your eyes locked with his and full of gratitude, love and euphoria.
Youâre descending from your highs together, limbs tangled and bodies flush against each other. To your surprise the sweat cooling your skin and his cum seeping out of your pussy send a shiver down your spine.
âIâm cold,â you mumble into the crook of his neck.
âReally? Maybe we donât need AC at all? I can just fuck the heat out of you?â
âYes, we do,â you disagree, giggling.
âBut I loved helping you, baby. We should reschedule the repair for next week.â
You push him off you, burning the man with a fiery gaze, âDonât you dare, Joel Miller.â
âIâm kiddinâ, sweetheart,â Joel chuckles, hugging you tight and shutting your grunts up with a kiss. A second later you feel hot all over again.
Thank you for reading! Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed the fic!đ
Same couple - HEATWAVE collection || Masterlist
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#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal characters#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#the last of us#pedro pascal x reader#pwp#joel miller tlou
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Unraveled
Summary: It was all fun and games until Loki started wearing that goddamn sweater.
Pairing: Loki x Female Reader
Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, dirty talk, praise kink, teasing, orgasm delay, sex, vaginal fingering, godly refractory periods, kitchen sex, semi public sex, Loki in a sweater.
A/N: My explanation for this one is that I saw too many pictures of Tom Hiddleston in a sweater and it gave me thoughts.
Being an Avenger has made you pretty good at rolling with the punches. After your third or fourth encounter with some alien/wizard/android bullshit, your perspective is fundamentally altered and real life seems manageable in a way that it didnât before. You have to call your insurance company to dispute a claim? Big deal, youâve negotiated with terrorists; you can handle Garth from Member Services.
The thing is, having that kind of perspective means that the things that do get to you can rattle you a lot more than they should. Natasha had warned you about that, but you were riding high on the thrill of successfully conquering Blue Cross Blue Shield and you kind of got to thinking she was exaggerating.
And then the seasons started to turn and Loki started wearing that goddamn sweater.
You can recognize when someone is out of your league. When you first moved into the Tower, it had been relatively easy for you to assign Loki to that category: he was a god. Heâd been featured in last monthâs GQ. You were mortal and your most recent press had been a TMZ story featuring unflattering paparazzi photos of you leaving a bodega in your pajamas at seven oâclock in the morning, a bagel halfway into your mouth. You were clearly not the same.
Up until the sweater, youâd managed to keep your cool around Loki and keep your attraction confined to daydreams and the occasional surreptitious lustful glance. Hell, youâd even had the nerve to be proud of yourself for keeping your shit together in front of him.
The sweater lays waste to all of that.
On the surface, it doesnât seem like a sweater that is capable of completely destroying your carefully constructed composure. Itâs a fairly standard crew neck in a deep green so dark it almost looks black at a first glance. But on Loki it justâŠdoes things to you. The fabric is well fitted, clinging to his biceps, pulling taut across his chest, emphasizing the line of his pectorals. It somehow accentuates how muscular he is while also still making him look lean and lithe.
The first time he wears it, you find your eyes just trail to him of their own volition, like an incredibly horny moth to the flame. Itâs a day of catching yourself staring, panicking, pretending that you were actually looking at something else, and then repeating the process five minutes later when your gaze inevitably wandered again. It almost would have been funny if it didnât put your blood pressure into the stratosphere.
To make matters worse, at the end of that dayâs debriefing, he rises from his chair and raises his arms to the ceiling in a long stretch. The hem of the sweater creeps up, exposing the firm, flat muscles of his stomach, lightly dusted with a trail of hair that meanders in a tantalizing path down to his belt buckle.
You promptly choke on your own spit. Clint claps you hard on the back and asks if youâre okay, which is a question you donât know how to answer (ultimately, you stick to a thumbs up and mumble something about dust getting caught in your throat). Loki is too preoccupied complaining about the entire concept of office furniture to notice. Or at least youâre pretty sure he doesnât notice.
You might have been okay if that had been the only incident, but the sweater makes a repeat appearance on Friday. The following Tuesday features the deadly combination of the sweater with a pair of tight, dark wash jeans that nearly send you into cardiac arrest. Your fantasies suddenly become much more frequent and detailed.
You are not really sure what to do about thisâitâs not like you can talk to anyone about it, nor can you ask him to stop wearing it without prompting some very uncomfortable questions. The idea that youâll get used to it is laughable.Â
You look at your calendar and note that spring is six months away. At least.
Fucking hell.
*
Itâs a Saturday afternoon and in a strange quirk of scheduling, almost everyone is out of town for a mission or a personal obligation, leaving the Tower unusually quiet. As much as you enjoy the daily clatter and chaos that comes with living here, you find a lot of comfort in these moments of quiet, however infrequent they may be.
You intended to make yourself a late afternoon snack. That was the plan, anyway. But as youâre standing at the kitchen counter and cutting up the fruit you just washed, you realize that youâre not entirely alone. From this vantage point, you can see Loki lounging on the couch in the next room and reading.
Heâs wearing the sweater. Of course heâs wearing the sweater. And the so-tight-they-should-be-illegal dark wash jeans.
Goddammit.
You have the sense to set the knife down at least. The last thing you need is a trip to the hospital because you got too distracted by your hot colleague while handling a knife.
You let your gaze travel along the firm muscles of his chest. Itâs just a sweater. It shouldnât look this good. It shouldnât prompt these kinds of thoughts. And yetâŠ
He shifts on the couch and the hem of the sweater creeps up. His hand drops to his belt buckle. Itâs entirely appropriate, but the way his long, long fingers are splayed against his stomach makes your mind drop straight to the gutter and wonder what theyâd look like wrapped around his rock hard coâ
âYou know, itâs rude to stare.â
His voice comes from behind you and adrenaline surges through you like an electric shock. The Loki on the couch looks up at you and smirks before disappearing in a shimmer of green.
You wonder if itâs possible to die of embarrassment and a heart attack all at the same time. It certainly feels like youâre about to.
You take a deep breath and try to collect yourself, which feels largely futile. Come on, get it together. Youâve negotiated with terrorists and insurance companies. Shake it off.
You slowly turn around, cheeks burning. Loki is standing right behind you, arms folded across his chest. You swallow.
âI um. I wasâI was justâŠâ Words escape you as your brain fires in every direction except a helpful one.
âYou were just what?â His expression is intense, but youâre not sure that heâs angry.
âSpacing out,â you say, trying to infuse your voice with confidence that you absolutely do not feel.
He places his hands on the counter behind you, intentionally caging you in with his body. You are overwhelmed by the scent of himâa masculine, wintery musk that makes you want to bury your face against his chest.
âTry again,â he says. His voice is deep enough to rattle your bones.
You swallow. Everything you could possibly say seems wildly inadequate.
Loki has never been one to be at a loss for words, though, and after a moment of terrified silence from you, he continues speaking.
âIâve noticed something curious over these past few weeks,â he says. âWhen I wear this sweater, you canât seem to take your eyes off of me.â
Your heart is pounding. Fucking hell. Have you really been that obvious?
âNow why is that?â he asks, his voice a low purr.
You briefly consider trying to lie again, but the piercing green of his eyes instantly makes you rethink it. âI umâŠâ You swallow hard. âItâs justâŠit suits you. YouâŠyou look good.â
He raises an eyebrow. âI look good?â
You nod.
âInteresting.â His lips twitch in a slight smirk as he looks you up and down. âAnd how does that make you feel?â
Your heart thuds in your chest, your stomach contorting with a strange combination of fear and desire. Youâre still humiliated, but the sound of his voice and the dark intensity of his gaze is intoxicating and incredibly arousing.
âI donâtâI donât know how to answer that question.â
âOh, I think you do.â Thereâs a rawness in his voice that makes your cunt clench.
You shake your head, eyes wide. Youâre pretty sure heâs not really mad, but you also don't know where this is going. Surely heâs not making a pass at youâŠright?
âHow does it make you feel to see me in this sweater?â he continues, his voice a low whisper. He pauses for a moment and when you donât answer, he continues. âDoes itâŠarouse you, perhaps?â
Holy fuck.
This canât be happening.
You try to think of something clever or sexy, but the bluntness of the question and the fire in his eyes kills whatever remaining brain cells you have left. Mutely, you nod.
Thereâs that smirk again as he licks his lips. âAre you wet right now?â
Your cheeks burn. You give the tiniest nod possible.
âHmm.â His hand alights on the button of your jeans. âI believe you Midgardians have a saying that is appropriate here: trust, but verify.â He slips the button free and your heart pounds like a war drum in your chest.Â
You cannot believe this is happening.
âYou havenât been entirely truthful in this conversation.â His palm presses flat against your stomach, the tips of his fingers slipping under the waistband of your underwear. âSo Iâm afraid Iâm going to have to see for myself.â
His hand is achingly slow, creeping lower and lower. He watches you intently as his hand cups your sex, seemingly cataloging the way your breath hitches and all the little shivers that run through you.
His middle finger finally slides between your folds and you canât help but moan.
âOh, you did lie to me,â he growls, his index finger joining his middle, both sliding up to circle your clit. âYouâre not wet, youâre soaked.â
Your legs are already starting to tremble and you grab on to his shoulders to try and steady yourself. The fabric of the sweater is softer than a cloud against your hands.
âSopping wet,â he continues, trapping your right leg between his thighs and the counter, the heavy weight of his erection pressing eagerly against your hip. âAnd this is all for me?â
Wordlessly, you nod. Thereâs no point in denying itâand you donât think he wants you to, either.
âWhat am I going to do about this?â he muses. His index and middle fingers lightly circle your clit again and you whimper.
âDonât stop,â you gasp. âPlease donât stop.â
âDonât stop?â he says. His tone is one of light curiosity, like youâre just chatting casually about the weather. âBut if I continue, youâre almost certainly going to come.â
âYes,â you gasp. âPlease.â
âOh, you want me to make you come?â You can hear the smirk in his voice. âRight here in the middle of the kitchen?â
You nod.
âAnyone could walk in, though,â he purrs. âAnyone could come in and see me with my fingers buried in your dripping cunt. What would they think if they saw you so utterly debauched and at my mercy, begging for me to make you come?â
âDonât careâŠâ you gasp. How are you already so close?
He raises an eyebrow. âYou donât care what theyâd think if they saw us like this?â
You shake your head.
âOh, you must be desperate.â He adjusts his hand, his thumb taking up the rhythm on your clit while his index finger sinks into your slick channel, making you gasp.
âLoki, pleaseââ
âBegging already,â he says, not letting up in his rhythm. âHas it been a long time, sweetheart? When did you last feel this good?â
Itâs not a question you can answer. You donât know that anyone ever has made you feel like this. You moan, your hips bucking hard against his hand.
âPoor thing,â he tuts. âYouâre clearly desperate for it. What kinds of filthy thoughts have you had about me?â he purrs. âIâve seen you staring, Iâve heard your breath hitch. Have you touched yourself while thinking of me?â
You manage a nod and his smile turns feral. âWhen was the last time?â
âLastâŠlast night,â you gasp.
âHow many times did you come?â
âF-Four.â
âFilthy girl.â His free hand slides up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he tips your head back. âNext time, all you have to do is ask.â
His mouth covers yours, his tongue pushing past your lips as he slides a second finger into you. You moan into his mouth as the pressure in your hips increases.
âOh yes, let me hear all of those pretty noises,â he murmurs. âAre you going to let me fuck you against the counter after I make you come?â
You nod, whimpering.
âGood girl,â he purrs. âI think you need to be fucked properly and hard. Is that what you need?â
âYes,â you gasp.
âMmm, thatâs what I thought. This cunt is just too wet and needy for any other treatment.â He draws back to look at you more fully, giving you a lazy, hungry smile. âYouâre about to lose it all over my fingers, arenât you?â
Your orgasm is cresting, the tingling pressure in your hips becoming unbearable. You nod, lost for words.
With one more smirk, he curls his fingers inside of you. âCome for me, pretty girl, let me see you.â
Your cunt spasms around his thrusting fingers and your whole body shudders as your orgasm overtakes you, your head tipping back as you cry out.
âOh, thatâs it,â he murmurs, âthereâs my good girl.â
A shiver runs through you at his words, your hips still moving against his hand, trying to draw out every last ripple of pleasure.
He kisses you as you come down from your high, and you take the opportunity to run your hands over his chest and tentatively feel the hard planes of muscle that youâve been staring at these last few weeks. But after a few moments, he takes your hand and guides it to his cock.
His preference for leather pants or those sinfully tight dark wash jeans made you suspect that the size of his ego might actually be proportionate to the size of his cock and your initial assessment seems to confirm that theory. You rub your fingers over the denim that covers his thick shaft, feeling yourself grow even wetter at the low groan he makes in the back of his throat.
âTake my cock out.â His voice is so deep and his eyes are so smoldering, it feels like the command goes straight to your cunt. You are practically trembling with anticipation as your shaking hands make quick work of the button, buckle, and zipper.
You canât help but suck in a breath when his cock comes into view. Heâs long and deliciously thickâbig enough to be a little intimidating, but not overwhelmingly so.
He guides your hand to wrap around his shaft. He barely fits in your hand. âLook at what youâve done to me,â he says, his voice raspy as he guides your hand to stroke his cock. âFeel how hard I am for you, feel how much I want you.â
His cock practically pulses with need, the tip slick with pre-come and you grasp him more firmly, your cunt pulsing as he gives a deeply satisfying groan.
You stroke him from base to tip, squeezing lightly. He groans again. âThey told me to stay away from you, you know,â he says.
You arenât so far gone that you can let this information slip by. âWhat? Who?â
âStark. Rogers. Romanoff. My brother.â He reaches behind you and shoves the fruit and cutting board into the side, the knife clattering into the sink. âThey saw how I looked at you,â he says. âThey saw that I wanted you. They told me you were too good for me. Too sweet.â
You feel your jeans and underwear melt away in a shimmer of green and he lifts you easily onto the counter.
His eyes flash with desire. âI wonder what theyâd say if they knew youâd let me fuck you raw in the middle of the kitchen?â
For a brief moment, frustration almost wins out over your lust. âWe could have done this sooner?â
His gaze turns serious. âDarling, we could have done this the moment we met, but Iâm told a handshake is more appropriate.â
You take a breath, about to embark on a rant about the individuals heâd named and how they hadnât even asked, theyâd just assumed, but Loki puts a hand up against your mouth.
âDonât make me wait any longer,â he says. Thereâs a sincerity and a need in his gaze that youâve never seen before and itâs enough to calm your anger for just a moment.
âOkay,â you say, wrapping your legs around his waist and angling your hips toward his, âbut clear your schedule because Iâm gonna need you to fuck me a lot to make up for all that time.â
His grin is feral as he pushes into you.
You shiver at the blunt stretch of his cock, your hands gripping his broad shoulders. He indulges in a low groan as his hips press flush against yours.
âIf Iâd known they were keeping me from this tight cunt, I wouldâve done something sooner,â he rasps. âYou feel absolutely perfect.â
âPlease,â you breathe, âI needâplease.â
His hips snap hard against yours and you moan, your head tipping back.
His eyes glitter as he pulls you close, pressing his mouth against your ear. âThe next time I have you, I will be sweet and soft.â
âAnd this time?â you ask, though you think you already know the answer.
âThis timeââ His mouth presses against the curve of your neck, teeth scraping just this side of too hard against the tender skin. ââIâm going to utterly ruin you.â
His pace is fast and roughâthe word possessive comes to mind. You twist the luxurious fabric of his sweater in your hands as his cock hits that sweet, aching spot inside of you, pressing against your sensitive cunt in a way that makes your muscles spasm and clench around him. You moan, a shiver rolling through you as you inch closer to release.
âIâmâŠfuck, Iâm getting close,â you gasp.
His pace abruptly slows and his grin is wide and his eyes are dancing with mirth when he raises his head from your shoulder.
âThat was unnecessary,â you say with a scowl.
âOh, I just want to savor you for a little longer, my love,â he purrs as he settles into an easy and slow pace that still makes your toes curl. âYouâre going to take me right over the edge with you and Iâve waited so terribly long to have you.â
âI feel like youâre probably omitting the fact that you like being a tease,â you say.
He grins again, increasing his pace ever so slightly. âBoth things can be true.â
He does this a few timesâtaking up a wicked pace that almost sends you hurtling over the edge, only to slow at the last possible moment, silencing your whimpering protests with a deep and slow kiss that is good enough to make you forgive him until a few minutes later when he does it all over again.
You hold out for as long as you can, but eventually, the ache in your hips overwhelms you.
âLoki,â you breathe when his pace again begins to increase. âPlease donât stop.â
âDonât stop?â he rasps, somehow finding the concentration to raise an eyebrow. âYouâre quite sure?â
You nod.
âYou want to come all over my cock?â
Speech is slightly beyond you at this point, but you manage to gasp a desperate plea as you hurtle into the final plateau, right before the fall.
Loki regards you with that same playful look as he fucks you. You wait, unsure of what heâs going to do, your body desperately crying out for your release.
His lips curl into a smile. âCome for me, sweet thing.â
At the sound of his voice, every one of your muscles is tensing and releasing, the slick walls of your cunt clamping down hard on the thick girth of his cock as you shudder and moan.
The remnants of Lokiâs composure are fraying, his eyes closed and his jaw slack as he chases his own end. His brow furrows and he throws his head back, letting out a low groan as he comes and you think it might be the best sound youâve ever heard.
You sag against him as you both come down from your respective highs, his heart beating hard under the soft fabric of his sweater. He reaches for your face, tilting your head back so he can kiss you, impossibly slow and soft.
Youâre in the middle of the kitchen. You understand this. In a wholly rational world, you would be quick to hop off the counter, quick to try and negotiate the return of your jeans from whatever pocket dimension heâs sent them to.
Instead, you find yourself wanting to stay in this moment, with his arms wrapped around you, his cock still pulsing inside you as he kisses you breathless.
You count to ten, then twenty. At forty, you draw back slightly, only to have him pull you back into the kiss.
Itâs somewhere after one hundred when he trails his lips to your neck and you manage to say what you intended: âWe should probablyâŠâ you trail off as he sucks at your pulse point, sending a shiver down your spine.
âWe should probably what?â he murmurs against your neck, before tracing a lazy figure eight with the tip of his tongue.
It takes you a moment to find that sentence. âGet dressed and such.â
You feel the sharp press of his smile against your skin. âI think not.â
Before you can open your mouth to say anything, the kitchen is fading in a shimmer of green to an unfamiliar bedroom and the two of you tumble into a bed draped in green silk.
âIâd like to stay like this for a while,â he says, a smile playing at his lips as he slowly rolls his hips against you, somehow still impossibly hard. âIn fact, I think I need to have you again.â
âI can live with that,â you say. You tug at the fabric of his sweater. âBut this is going to have to go.â
His gaze is smoldering and his bare skin is suddenly pressed against yours as the sweater and the rest of your clothes disappear in that familiar shimmer of green.
âWill you like me as much without it?â he asks, rolling his hips against you.
You drag your fingernails up along the firm muscles of his back. âI think Iâll manage.â
âGood,â he says, leaning in to kiss you, âbecause as I understand it, we have quite a lot of time to make up for.â
#loki smut#loki x reader smut#loki laufeyson#loki laufeyson smut#loki x female reader smut#loki x female reader#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki x you smut#loki x yn smut#loki imagine
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MS. MADRID/ FERNANDO ALONSO + JUDE BELLINGHAM
jude bellignham x alonso reader / SMAU FIC
FACE CLAIM / none!
WARNINGS / some thirsting, cursing, and my little to none football knowledge
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yn.alonso âœïžđ„
đïž
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user3 you survived your first game!!!!
yn.alonso it was a struggle đ
user7 i remember when my boyfriend took me to football game and i swear i almost fell asleep like 10 times
user06 iâm sure fernando had a blast
lance_stroll you should come to a hockey game with me, itâs more entertaining
yn.alonso next time my dad tells me he has an extra ticket iâll take you up on that offer
lance_stroll đ đ
fernandoalo_oficial i will force you to come to the next game
yn.alonso please donât đđ
user2 i think you were the teams lucky charm đ
user16 pretty girls support real madrid đ
user0636 linda!!!! [ cute ]
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yn.alonso posted on their story!
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[ dinner in barcelona đȘđž ]
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fernandoalo_oficial te ves hermosa [ you look beautiful ]
yn.alonso gracias papa [ thank you dad ]
judebellingham hey! i saw some of your tweets about me, i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out for dinner with me? iâm in madrid for a bit!
yn.alonso heyyyyyyâŠâŠ sorry you had to see those tweets
judebellingham donât worry iâve seen worse đ
yn.alonso but i would love to go to dinner with you!
judebellingham great! iâll text you the details :)
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footballgossip jude bellingham spotted in Madrid on a date with a mystery girl! do we have a new football wag? let us know what you think!
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user2 my heart just shattered
user09 my husband got a girlfriend đ
user7 who cares???
user666 someone needs to check on yn
user3 why?
user61 cause sheâs down bad for him đ
user12 ok but what if thatâs her????
user9 oooooo!!!! your on to something
user4 wish that was meâŠ.
user8 yâall thatâs me in the picture!
user218 girl me and you both know that thatâs not true
user02 i wonder if they will come out to the public
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judebellingham spain so far đđȘđž
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user5 HE SOFT LAUNCHED
user0 hope your having a good time!
user44 whoâs the girl?
user8 if only we knew
user13 i just know yn is devastated
lucasvazquez91 đ„đ„đ„
user3 so fine and for what
fernandoalo_oficial đ đ
user46 is this a sign that yn and jude are together??????
user9 i love how fernando wonât let yn date an f1 driver but heâll let her date a football playerđ
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yn.alonso boyfriend so cute i had to hard launch him
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user4 yes yes yes
judebellingham your so cute
yn.alonso I LOVE U
user55 the question is did fernando approve?
yn.alonso he actually did!!! mostly cause that would mean i would watch football games with himâŠâŠ
user8 yeah heâs cute and all but that top is BEAUTIFUL
user00 ugh heâs so hot
user2 iâm just going to lay in the middle of the street for a bit
fernandoalo_oficial â€ïžâœïž
user8 we are getting wag yn!!!!!!!
user6 i also thought she would date an f1 driver đđđ
user7 nah fernando would crash into them
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TEAM RADIO / SWEETLOVERS - not my usual type of post but itâs been in my drafts for a bit.
#sweeterlovers#formula 1#f1 smau#formula one#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1#fernando alonso smau#jude bellingham#jude bellingham smau#judebellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you
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Conspiratorialism as a material phenomenon
I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.
I think it behooves us to be a little skeptical of stories about AI driving people to believe wrong things and commit ugly actions. Not that I like the AI slop that is filling up our social media, but when we look at the ways that AI is harming us, slop is pretty low on the list.
The real AI harms come from the actual things that AI companies sell AI to do. There's the AI gun-detector gadgets that the credulous Mayor Eric Adams put in NYC subways, which led to 2,749 invasive searches and turned up zero guns:
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/nycs-subway-weapons-detector-pilot-program-ends/
Any time AI is used to predict crime â predictive policing, bail determinations, Child Protective Services red flags â they magnify the biases already present in these systems, and, even worse, they give this bias the veneer of scientific neutrality. This process is called "empiricism-washing," and you know you're experiencing it when you hear some variation on "it's just math, math can't be racist":
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/23/cryptocidal-maniacs/#phrenology
When AI is used to replace customer service representatives, it systematically defrauds customers, while providing an "accountability sink" that allows the company to disclaim responsibility for the thefts:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs
When AI is used to perform high-velocity "decision support" that is supposed to inform a "human in the loop," it quickly overwhelms its human overseer, who takes on the role of "moral crumple zone," pressing the "OK" button as fast as they can. This is bad enough when the sacrificial victim is a human overseeing, say, proctoring software that accuses remote students of cheating on their tests:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/16/unauthorized-paper/#cheating-anticheat
But it's potentially lethal when the AI is a transcription engine that doctors have to use to feed notes to a data-hungry electronic health record system that is optimized to commit health insurance fraud by seeking out pretenses to "upcode" a patient's treatment. Those AIs are prone to inventing things the doctor never said, inserting them into the record that the doctor is supposed to review, but remember, the only reason the AI is there at all is that the doctor is being asked to do so much paperwork that they don't have time to treat their patients:
https://apnews.com/article/ai-artificial-intelligence-health-business-90020cdf5fa16c79ca2e5b6c4c9bbb14
My point is that "worrying about AI" is a zero-sum game. When we train our fire on the stuff that isn't important to the AI stock swindlers' business-plans (like creating AI slop), we should remember that the AI companies could halt all of that activity and not lose a dime in revenue. By contrast, when we focus on AI applications that do the most direct harm â policing, health, security, customer service â we also focus on the AI applications that make the most money and drive the most investment.
AI hasn't attracted hundreds of billions in investment capital because investors love AI slop. All the money pouring into the system â from investors, from customers, from easily gulled big-city mayors â is chasing things that AI is objectively very bad at and those things also cause much more harm than AI slop. If you want to be a good AI critic, you should devote the majority of your focus to these applications. Sure, they're not as visually arresting, but discrediting them is financially arresting, and that's what really matters.
All that said: AI slop is real, there is a lot of it, and just because it doesn't warrant priority over the stuff AI companies actually sell, it still has cultural significance and is worth considering.
AI slop has turned Facebook into an anaerobic lagoon of botshit, just the laziest, grossest engagement bait, much of it the product of rise-and-grind spammers who avidly consume get rich quick "courses" and then churn out a torrent of "shrimp Jesus" and fake chainsaw sculptures:
https://www.404media.co/email/1cdf7620-2e2f-4450-9cd9-e041f4f0c27f/
For poor engagement farmers in the global south chasing the fractional pennies that Facebook shells out for successful clickbait, the actual content of the slop is beside the point. These spammers aren't necessarily tuned into the psyche of the wealthy-world Facebook users who represent Meta's top monetization subjects. They're just trying everything and doubling down on anything that moves the needle, A/B splitting their way into weird, hyper-optimized, grotesque crap:
https://www.404media.co/facebook-is-being-overrun-with-stolen-ai-generated-images-that-people-think-are-real/
In other words, Facebook's AI spammers are laying out a banquet of arbitrary possibilities, like the letters on a Ouija board, and the Facebook users' clicks and engagement are a collective ideomotor response, moving the algorithm's planchette to the options that tug hardest at our collective delights (or, more often, disgusts).
So, rather than thinking of AI spammers as creating the ideological and aesthetic trends that drive millions of confused Facebook users into condemning, praising, and arguing about surreal botshit, it's more true to say that spammers are discovering these trends within their subjects' collective yearnings and terrors, and then refining them by exploring endlessly ramified variations in search of unsuspected niches.
(If you know anything about AI, this may remind you of something: a Generative Adversarial Network, in which one bot creates variations on a theme, and another bot ranks how closely the variations approach some ideal. In this case, the spammers are the generators and the Facebook users they evince reactions from are the discriminators)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generative_adversarial_network
I got to thinking about this today while reading User Mag, Taylor Lorenz's superb newsletter, and her reporting on a new AI slop trend, "My neighborâs ridiculous reason for egging my car":
https://www.usermag.co/p/my-neighbors-ridiculous-reason-for
The "egging my car" slop consists of endless variations on a story in which the poster (generally a figure of sympathy, canonically a single mother of newborn twins) complains that her awful neighbor threw dozens of eggs at her car to punish her for parking in a way that blocked his elaborate Hallowe'en display. The text is accompanied by an AI-generated image showing a modest family car that has been absolutely plastered with broken eggs, dozens upon dozens of them.
According to Lorenz, variations on this slop are topping very large Facebook discussion forums totalling millions of users, like "Movie CharacterâŠ,USA Story, Volleyball Women, Top Trends, Love Style, and God Bless." These posts link to SEO sites laden with programmatic advertising.
The funnel goes:
i. Create outrage and hence broad reach;
ii, A small percentage of those who see the post will click through to the SEO site;
iii. A small fraction of those users will click a low-quality ad;
iv. The ad will pay homeopathic sub-pennies to the spammer.
The revenue per user on this kind of scam is next to nothing, so it only works if it can get very broad reach, which is why the spam is so designed for engagement maximization. The more discussion a post generates, the more users Facebook recommends it to.
These are very effective engagement bait. Almost all AI slop gets some free engagement in the form of arguments between users who don't know they're commenting an AI scam and people hectoring them for falling for the scam. This is like the free square in the middle of a bingo card.
Beyond that, there's multivalent outrage: some users are furious about food wastage; others about the poor, victimized "mother" (some users are furious about both). Not only do users get to voice their fury at both of these imaginary sins, they can also argue with one another about whether, say, food wastage even matters when compared to the petty-minded aggression of the "perpetrator." These discussions also offer lots of opportunity for violent fantasies about the bad guy getting a comeuppance, offers to travel to the imaginary AI-generated suburb to dole out a beating, etc. All in all, the spammers behind this tedious fiction have really figured out how to rope in all kinds of users' attention.
Of course, the spammers don't get much from this. There isn't such a thing as an "attention economy." You can't use attention as a unit of account, a medium of exchange or a store of value. Attention â like everything else that you can't build an economy upon, such as cryptocurrency â must be converted to money before it has economic significance. Hence that tooth-achingly trite high-tech neologism, "monetization."
The monetization of attention is very poor, but AI is heavily subsidized or even free (for now), so the largest venture capital and private equity funds in the world are spending billions in public pension money and rich peoples' savings into CO2 plumes, GPUs, and botshit so that a bunch of hustle-culture weirdos in the Pacific Rim can make a few dollars by tricking people into clicking through engagement bait slop â twice.
The slop isn't the point of this, but the slop does have the useful function of making the collective ideomotor response visible and thus providing a peek into our hopes and fears. What does the "egging my car" slop say about the things that we're thinking about?
Lorenz cites Jamie Cohen, a media scholar at CUNY Queens, who points out that subtext of this slop is "fear and distrust in people about their neighbors." Cohen predicts that "the next trend, is going to be stranger and more violent.â
This feels right to me. The corollary of mistrusting your neighbors, of course, is trusting only yourself and your family. Or, as Margaret Thatcher liked to say, "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women and there are families."
We are living in the tail end of a 40 year experiment in structuring our world as though "there is no such thing as society." We've gutted our welfare net, shut down or privatized public services, all but abolished solidaristic institutions like unions.
This isn't mere aesthetics: an atomized society is far more hospitable to extreme wealth inequality than one in which we are all in it together. When your power comes from being a "wise consumer" who "votes with your wallet," then all you can do about the climate emergency is buy a different kind of car â you can't build the public transit system that will make cars obsolete.
When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about animal cruelty and habitat loss is eat less meat. When you "vote with your wallet" all you can do about high drug prices is "shop around for a bargain." When you vote with your wallet, all you can do when your bank forecloses on your home is "choose your next lender more carefully."
Most importantly, when you vote with your wallet, you cast a ballot in an election that the people with the thickest wallets always win. No wonder those people have spent so long teaching us that we can't trust our neighbors, that there is no such thing as society, that we can't have nice things. That there is no alternative.
The commercial surveillance industry really wants you to believe that they're good at convincing people of things, because that's a good way to sell advertising. But claims of mind-control are pretty goddamned improbable â everyone who ever claimed to have managed the trick was lying, from Rasputin to MK-ULTRA:
https://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism
Rather than seeing these platforms as convincing people of things, we should understand them as discovering and reinforcing the ideology that people have been driven to by material conditions. Platforms like Facebook show us to one another, let us form groups that can imperfectly fill in for the solidarity we're desperate for after 40 years of "no such thing as society."
The most interesting thing about "egging my car" slop is that it reveals that so many of us are convinced of two contradictory things: first, that everyone else is a monster who will turn on you for the pettiest of reasons; and second, that we're all the kind of people who would stick up for the victims of those monsters.
Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/29/hobbesian-slop/#cui-bono
Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#taylor lorenz#conspiratorialism#conspiracy fantasy#mind control#a paradise built in hell#solnit#ai slop#ai#disinformation#materialism#doppelganger#naomi klein
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we can't be friends (but i'd like to just pretend)
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x unnamed female!reader, callsign Ladybug (story from Jake's POV)
Word count: 12.8k (sorry, it's a really long one)
Synopsis: Jake's not entirely sure how the bet came about other than being too drunk and maybe a little bored at the Fourth of July party. But after shaking on it with Yale, he agrees to help the new WSO - Ladybug - out with her crush on Rooster and figure out how to get the two of them to the Navy Ball together. With four months to get it done, it'll be simple. But when the reserved aviator is harder to get to know than expected, Jake has to push her to get out of her own way.
Written for @sorchathered Rom-Com challenge, with a prompt of She's All That
Warning: This fic does include angst (mentions of drunk driving and the aftermath, PTSD, loss of consciousness, and toxic men) with fluff
18+, minors DNI
Crossposted on Ao3 | My Masterlist
---------------------------------------
The Hard Deck was busy for a Monday, which suited Jake just fine as long as he still had access to the dartboard and could flirt with some of the fresher faces while avoiding his previous mistakes. After a long day in the classroom, he was ready to let off some steam, and the pretty blonde thing by the bar looked like sheâd do nicely.Â
Downing the rest of his beer, he threw his last three darts, ending the game against Coyote with a decisive win and making his way to the bar. Yale and Omaha were there, but the rest of the Daggers were huddled by the pool table. As he passed, he could hear Phoenix telling everyone about the new WSO she was sponsoring that was finally arriving after her orders got pushed back - he still didnât understand why she volunteered for the extra duty. Sponsors were great, but unless you had kids, getting established on a new base wasnât hard - show up on time, figure out your housing, and report to command ASAP. There was no need to have someone hold your hand through the process. But that was just his opinion. If Phoenix wanted to spend her spare time being pen pals with folks moving to San Diego and running around to help them get settled, more power to her.Â
Getting the blondeâs number was hardly a challenge, and she grinned at him while walking away to rejoin her friends. Jake motioned to Jimmy for another beer, and the older man quickly slid one over the counter. Moving closer to his fellow aviators, Jake leaned against the bar and surveyed the crowd. âFound yourself another tag chaser?â Yale chuckled, sipping his drink.
âLike shootinâ fish in a barrel,â Jake shrugged and smiled as the girl looked at him again. He threw a wink for good measure and saw how the friend group giggled.
The front door opened, and his eyes darted to the woman walking in. Even if she hadnât been wearing her khakis, the god-awful birth control glasses that Bob also favored would have given her away as military. Jake let his gaze rake over the unfamiliar woman, clocking the double bars and wings as she looked around nervously. And then he heard Phoenix call out, and she looked up.Â
Omaha looked up from his drink, tracking the woman as well. âShit,â he hisses through his teeth before lifting his glass and taking a swig. âThatâs Ladybug?â Twisting, Jake watched her reach Phoenix, who seemed to be introducing her to the rest of the crew.
âLadybug?â Yale asked, straightening from where he leaned against the bar. His eyes tracked her as she moved, barely hiding a sneer behind his drink.Â
âMy new backseater,â Omaha sighed. Since Halo had gotten orders to Pensacola, the aviator had been waiting for his new WSO to arrive.Â
âAnd would you look at that - girlâs swinginâ way out of her league.â Even from across the bar, Jake could see Ladybug blushing as she talked to Rooster and reached up to adjust her glasses. Phoenix, standing between them, caught his gaze and raised an eyebrow. Smirking, he turned away, his attention settling back on the table of women who werenât subtle about their looking at him. Lifting his beer, he grinned around the mouth of the bottle before slapping the bar and pushing away from it.
âIf youâll excuse me, gents - looks like Iâve got an audience.âÂ
It was still early when he closed out his and Kristenâs tabs, and Jake reflexively looked back toward where the Daggers hung out. Most were still there, but he noted that Ladybug had already left. The scowl Phoenix shot him when she sensed his gaze let him know heâd get an earful tomorrow about not welcoming the new kid, but heâd deal with it. Â
âReady?â Kristen purred, running her hand up his back as she came alongside him. Grinning down at her, he nodded before signing his receipt and shoving his wallet into his back pocket.
âLetâs get outta here.âÂ
Weeks bled past, punctuated by a party at Paybackâs for the Fourth of July. As the married man in the crew, the Fitch family was always happy to host.
And while Jake wasnât purposefully keeping tabs on Ladybug - âBug is fine,â sheâd told everyone - he started to notice her absence more. While in the Ready Room, she often looked out the window and listened to the radio chatter while others played foosball and messed around. Omaha said she was good but missed Halo and joking around in the cockpit. Bob, Fanboy, and Phoenix seemed to be the only ones to get her to open up and crack a rare smile. She didnât join them at lunch in the cafeteria or for drinks at the Hard Deck.Â
And every time Rooster got near her, she got flustered. Her usual reserve and cool seemed to disappear, and she either clammed up or rambled.Â
So, seeing her show up at the party with a fruit platter was surprising. Paybackâs wife, Maria, quickly offered her a drink, and Bug joined Phoenix and her girlfriend, Kerri. From the grill, Jake watched as she mingled, and he wondered how she was wearing jeans on a day when the temperature was already reaching the mid-80s. Most of the other women had opted for shorts or summer dresses - god, he loved summer dress season - but Bugâs only concession to the heat seemed to be a short-sleeved shirt and occasionally pressing her cold soda can to her neck.
âI gotta ask,â Kerri said, her arm looping through Bugâs as they walked into the kitchen to grab food. âWhatâs the story behind Ladybug? Nat told me thereâs always a story behind the callsign.â While assembling his burger, Jake found himself listening to their conversation.
âI, uh⊠I worked with a lot ofâŠnew⊠pilots when I was starting. There were a couple of close calls and,â she shrugged. âLadybugs are good luck.âÂ
âShit,â Rooster said, glancing up from spooning pasta salad onto his plate. He grinned, a sunburn already appearing on his face. âI remember you on the Ford now - you were the WSO with the kid just out of FRS who panicked when his landing gear got stuck and nearly skidded into the ocean.âÂ
Bugâs eyes were big behind her glasses as she flushed, pouring chips onto the table when she missed her plate. Quickly, she set the bag down and cleaned up her mess while muttering, âYeah.âÂ
âDamn. That was a bad one - thought he was gonna ram the back of the carrier at first.â Rooster put down his plate and lifted his hands to demonstrate. âI heard the pilot started descent without realizing his front gear wasnât down, missed the tailhook, and almost didnât accelerate fast enough to recover. They circled and had to dump fuel while they got the barricades up, but they came in too low and nearly clipped the back of the ship before finally skidding in.âÂ
âJesus!â Kerri said, looking at Bug. âSeriously?â
âIt was his first carrier landing,â the woman replied with a shrug. âHe got better.âÂ
âAfter we all had to sit through a lecture on the basics of landing,â Rooster smirked while grabbing his plate and throwing a wink at Bug, who flushed bright red. âDidnât you both have to sit front and center for that one?â
âIt was a good refresher.â
âHe still flying?â Jake asked, biting into a carrot stick. Bugâs eyes flashed with something before her gaze dropped to her plate.Â
âNot anymore,â she said softly, quickly heading back outside with her plain burger and a handful of chips. He and Rooster exchanged glances as Kerri got a worried look on her face.Â
The drinks flowed, and Jake enjoyed himself as he hung out with his buddies. As fun as it was to have Mav around, it was also really nice when the soon-to-be-Admiral chose to hang out with his wife and stepdaughter, allowing the younger crowd to cut loose. Payback and Maria had already offered anyone who'd drank too much a safe space to crash, and Jake would take advantage of it. He and Yale went shot-for-shot in beer pong, and his tongue was red from the jello shots heâd consumed.Â
âSheâs delusional,â Yale slurred, punching Jakeâs arm and pointing to where Bug and Rooster were chatting. âNot hot ânough to pull an aviator.â
âSheâs an aviator too, dick,â Jake rolled his eyes, watching as Bug pressed her cold soda can to her throat. The movement shifted her shirt, and he could see that she had the beginning of a sunburn on her arms. Squinting, he stared at the raised red line that reached the middle of her bicep, and, as though feeling his gaze, she looked at him. Her eyes darted down to her arm, and she quickly adjusted her sleeve to hide it, her face flushing.Â
âOooh, Hangmanâs gotta crush on Bug!â He rolled his eyes at the immaturity, sipping his beer and anticipating the hangover heâd have in the morning for mixing alcohol.Â
âYouâre drunk. Sheâs a decent WSO and keeps Omahaâs dumbass alive.â And that was true. As much as he never wanted a backseater, he couldnât help but notice how methodical Bug was. She was the first on the flight line doing her pre-flight checks, talking to the flight crew and mechanics about anything that felt off in the jet. She took thorough notes during a mission brief and conferred with the other WSOs to triple-check things before heading out. He knew that Mav was keeping an eye on her, probably vetting her for a reference to a test program.Â
The conversation shifted, and Jake could feel his tongue getting looser the more he drank. That was how he was somehow talked into a dumb bet - that Bug would catch Roosterâs eye and go to the Navy Ball with him.Â
And Jake would help.
Bug left the party before night fell, missing the impressive fireworks and sparklers they set off in the front yard. They had to brush debris from their hair and use the hose to put out minor fires in the grass, but thankfully, the only injuries were minor burns.
As he lay on Paybackâs couch, Jake closed one eye to stop the room from spinning when his phone started going off. He ignored the few messages asking what he was doing and if he wanted to come over, wishing he was sober enough to drive home instead of listening to Yaleâs snoring.Â
As much as Jake wanted to forget his drunken bet with Yale, the other pilot was adamant they followed through because heâd shaken on it. And, never one to back down from a challenge, he reluctantly agreed.Â
His first step was reconnaissance. With four months until the Navy Ball, he knew he had enough time to enact his plan once he figured it out. He knew Rooster and the type of women he usually dated. And it wasnât that Bug was unattractive, just that she seemed not to give a shit what she looked like. Which wasnât great because Rooster usually dated women who did. They wouldnât have been caught dead in public without a perfect face of makeup, while Bug seemed content with eyeliner, not even bothering to hide the pimples that occasionally decorated her face. The few times he saw her off duty, she favored comfortable clothes over cute, and he never saw her hair out of anything but the regulation bun or a ponytail.Â
However, Jake's most significant obstacle was her confidence. While Bug had no problems with her confidence regarding her job, the moment the conversation strayed outside anything to do with work, she seemed anxious. And if she was going to get Roosterâs attention, that would need to change.Â
The first thing he had to do, though, was to gain her trust. Without that, she wouldnât hear him out on any of his suggestions.
Which was why he found himself approaching her at lunch after seeing her sitting outside at one of the few tables under the trees that the smokers usually used during breaks. She looked down at her phone, occasionally tapping the screen as she picked at her lunch. âMind if I join you?â Jake asked, not bothering to wait for her answer before tossing his heated-up chicken and rice onto the table and sitting. Bug gave him a surprised look but returned her attention to her phone, eyes occasionally flicking toward him as he ate and watched her finish her apples, cheese, and crackers. She blushed every time their eyes met, and he noticed she wasnât tapping her phone as much. He was about to say something when she frowned, tossed her apple back into her lunch container, and tucked the phone to her ear.
âHey, gimme a second.â With a tight smile, Bug gathered her things and shoved them into her lunch bag, slipping it over her arm before standing and walking away.Â
Jake tried again the next day, only to find that Bug wasnât at the table. Instead, he saw her walking around the building with her headphones in, her flight suit tied around her waist, and one of her sleeves pushed up. On the third day, he beat her to the table and saw her pause when she caught sight of him. âI donât bite, Bug,â he called out and saw her shoulders tense. Her gaze was guarded as she trudged to the table and sat, not saying a word as she pulled out her container of apples, cheese, and crackers with flavored water. His eyes darted over her meal as she opened the container. âSo whatâdâya think about the new group of trainees?â
Her hand froze as she dug in her pocket, eyes slowly lifting to meet his. âTheyâre cocky.â Her answer made him smirk as he reached across the table to grab a hunk of cheese from her lunch. âHey!â
âWe were all cocky when we got here. The instructors and Adversary students will beat it outta them.â Bug gave him an incredulous look as he popped the cheese in his mouth and grinned.Â
âClearly, they didnât beat it out of everyone.â The steely look she gave him was the most animated heâd seen her. She slapped the back of his hand when he reached for a cracker. âYou have your own lunch, Hangman.âÂ
âThatâs not a lunch, Bug, thatâs a kidâs snack. You need protein.â She ignored him and pulled out her phone, tapping on the screen. Chuckling, he opened his lunchbox and took out his meal, stirring the chicken and rice together. He watched her as he ate, smirking every time he caught her glancing at him and noting the rising blush on her cheeks. âWhy do you hide out here?â he asked.Â
âI hardly think sitting outside the office is hiding,â came her clipped response.Â
âIt is if youâre avoiding your squad.âÂ
âMaybe I just like peace and quiet while Iâm eating.âÂ
âAnd scrolling social media.âÂ
âIâm not - â Bug lowered her phone enough for him to glance at the screen, seeing it covered in text. âI just like to read in silence, okay? Do you mind?â Jake shrugged and didnât say anything for a few minutes until he finished eating, his fork clattering in the glass container as he tossed it down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.Â
âWhat are you reading?âÂ
âA book.âÂ
âIs it any good?â
âItâs hard to tell when someone keeps interrupting me.âÂ
âWhat type is it?âÂ
âAn e-book.â
âNo,â he chuckled. âHistory? Non-fiction? Biography?â The faded blush roared back, and she refused to meet his gaze. His grin grew as he asked, âIs it a sex book?â
Bug locked her phone and set it face down on the table. Crossing her arms over her chest, she lifted her chin, lips pressed into a thin line. âWhat do you want, Hangman?âÂ
âNothinâ. Just trying to get to know my new squadmate.âÂ
âYou donât have to know me,â she snapped, shoving her things into her lunch bag. âI already have a sponsor and a pilot.â Startled by her response and the tears glistening in her eyes, he pushed to his feet as she stood.
âBug - â
âJust leave me alone, Hangman.âÂ
For as close as the squad worked together, Bug was good at holding herself apart from the team. After slipping a note into her locker with a quickly jotted âSorryâ and feeling like heâd regressed to high school, Jake left her alone. Losing a bet wasnât worth being an asshole and causing a rift in team dynamics.Â
But while she was ignoring him, it was good to see that she was at least talking to Phoenix. And, every once in a while, Rooster, who still seemed oblivious to her crush. Jake tried not to look at Yale whenever the two interacted, not wanting to see the mocking eye-roll the other aviator would send his way. The way sheâd blushed and tripped over her boots when Rooster patted her shoulder after a run where Omaha managed to get tone on him with her guidance was enough for Yale to go on a ten-minute tear about her at the Hard Deck.
Jake had walked away. He hadnât even stayed long enough to pick someone up and went back to his apartment, wondering what the hell Yale had against Bug.
An August rainstorm drove Bug inside to the cafeteria, and Bob waved her over to join them. The only seat left was between Jake and Rooster, and she reluctantly settled between them and opened her salad. Jake was happy to see bits of grilled chicken in it but forced himself not to say anything. He was relieved that Yale, Harvard, and Fritz had decided to go to the food court for lunch so he wouldnât have to witness how Bug kept herself apart, how she picked at her food, and how her eyes were downcast. When Phoenix mentioned the upcoming beach trip, she didnât hear the offer to join until Rooster nudged her, brow furrowing in concern.Â
âYeah, sure,â she murmured, not seeming to realize what she agreed to.Â
Later, when they were in the desk farm, Jake saw Bug jump out of her seat and leave quickly, phone pressed to her ear.
And Yale glared at her while looking up from his phone.
Bug needs help and youâre the closest. Hereâs her address.
Jake stared at his phone as he sat at a red light. Halfway to the beach, he quickly flicked his blinker to pull a U-turn and head back toward his house. Bug only lived a few streets away from him, in one of the apartment complexes that had gone up over the last year.
He spotted her standing by her car, phone pressed to her ear and lower lip between her teeth. Jake frowned when he drove behind her, seeing the tilted vehicle. Rather than pulling into a spot, he parked behind her and hopped out to see that two tires were slashed. Her eyebrows rose behind her glasses when she saw him, and she quickly spun to avoid his concerned gaze, her floor-length floral skirt fluttering.Â
âWhatever is closest, I donât care,â she said, and he could hear the barely constrained tears in her voice. âYeah, two tiresâŠ. Alright, thank you.â He crouched and ran his finger over the puncture mark on the back tire, glancing up to see that Bugâs shoulders were up by her ears.Â
âYou alright?â he asked.
âIâm fine. I told Phoenix that I didnât need anyone here.âÂ
âSomeone slashed your tires.â
âIt happened to a few people last night,â she shrugged, slowly turning to face him. âItâs an annoyance, but nothing I canât handle on my own.âÂ
âWas that the insurance company?âÂ
âYeah. Theyâre going to tow it to a garage for me.â
âAlright, how long are they gonna be?â
âThey said an hour, which probably means two. You should go and enjoy the beach.âÂ
âIâm not going, Bug. Did you call the police?âÂ
âTheyâre the ones who let me know it happened. One of my neighbors called them after he came out and saw his slashed.â
âSo youâve got the report number?â When she nodded, he ran a hand through his hair. âAlright, Iâm gonna move my truck.âÂ
âHangman, Iâm serious - â
âSo am I. I can sit in my truck or wait by your car, or we can go inside, but Iâm not leaving until they get your car. And then we can go to the beach.âÂ
âIâm not going to the beach.â
âWeâll see.â Bugâs lips pressed into a thin line as she crossed her arms, hip cocking to one side. He smiled at the sight, eyes snagging on the red scar on her arm. With his sunglasses on, she didnât notice.
Her apartment was nice, in the ârecently moved in and havenât fully unpackedâ way. As she grabbed some water, he looked at the cart of books sitting by her couch. One caught his eye, and he flipped to a random page.Â
Patroclus is breathing harder than the effort to hold our princess down requires, and his cock is so stiff, itâll be a fucking miracle if he doesnât come just from foreplay. Itâs fine if he does. We have all of tonight and tomorrow.Â
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
Jake looked up from the book and grinned, holding it so the cover faced her. âI didnât realize you were reading porn at lunch.âÂ
âItâs not porn,â she snapped, reaching for the book. He wasnât sure why he did it, but he held the book higher and read aloud.Â
âI plan on tucking these two in for some rest after I fuck the worry out - oof!â He doubled over when her fist collided with his stomach, not enough to hurt but to startle him. Face bright red, Bug snatched the book from his hand and returned it to the cart, standing protectively in front of it. âThatâs definitely porn,â Jake chuckled. âGood for you. Didnât take you for a threesome kinda girl - â
Bug let out a strangled sound before she lunged forward to press her hands to his mouth. âWill you shut the fuck up, Hangman?â Fighting back the urge to lick her palm, he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her hand from his mouth, unable to keep from grinning.Â
âYour secretâs safe with me, Bug. I wonât tell anyone that you avoid talking to us so you can spend your lunch reading sexy - â
âThanks for stopping by; now get the hell out of my house,â she cut him off, ripping her hand out of his hold and pressing it to his shoulder, trying to turn him toward the door. He shook her off, choosing to collapse onto the couch instead. She glared at him briefly before sighing heavily as he reached for one of the water glasses sheâd dropped onto the coffee table. Sitting on the opposite side, she grabbed the other glass and ran her thumb through the condensation already forming on the sides. âYou really donât have to stay. The tow driverâll take care of my car, and I donât feel like going to the beach after this.â
ââM startinâ to get the feeling that you donât like us, Ladybug.â While his tone was teasing, Jake meant every word. âYou donât eat with us, you wonât go to the Hard Deck, and now youâre avoiding a beach day? Those are pretty much mandatory for the squadron.â
Hurt flashed in her eyes, and Bugâs teeth dug into her lower lip. âI⊠I donât dislike you guys. I just⊠thereâs a lot of stuff that - â Her cell started vibrating on the coffee table. Jakeâs eyes shot to it, catching the name RISK and seeing a picture of a guy in a flight suit, smirking up at the camera and flipping it off. Bug snatched the phone up, eyes darting toward him. âIâm sorry, I have to take this.â Quickly, she stood while answering it and walking toward her bedroom. âHey, howâs it - â
The door closed, muffling her voice. Jake stared at it momentarily before pushing to his feet and walking to the fridge to get a refill. While the rest of the apartment was pretty bare, the refrigerator was covered in magnets from across the world, puns about books, a few bills, and a couple of pictures. He recognized the man from her phone screen as the one with one arm around Bug and her head on his shoulder as they sat in the shadow of an F-18âs wing, hair a tangled mess with her helmet between her knees and a pair of glasses with brown frames perched on her nose. They were there in a group, Bug laughing while sitting on his shoulders and his fingers digging into her thighs to hold her steady at an outdoor concert, the hem of her dress sitting on his head. There were pictures of a softball team, Bug grinning with a bat resting on her bare shoulder.
And Jake realized it was the first time heâd seen her smile like that.Â
That thought irked him. And it definitely didnât make him pay more attention to the calendar hanging in the kitchen. Sipping his water, his eyes darted over her small, neat handwriting, and his brows furrowed. Riskâs PT. Deposition. PCP follow-up. Chiro follow-up. FS reassessment.Â
When the bedroom door opened, he was back on the couch, reading one of Bugâs books. Her eyes were red when she stepped out, and he clocked the fake smile. âTow truck driver just called and said heâs pulling in.â When her eyes landed on the book in his hand - the Kiss Quotient - color rose in her pale cheeks.Â
âGood timing. Weâll get that taken care of and head out. Harvardâs already texted me a list of things people forgot, so weâll grab those at the store on the way.âÂ
âHangman - â
âBug.â It was his turn to cut her off, the playful tone absent in his voice. âCome on. Give us a chance. If nothing else, Roosterâll be there.âÂ
âWhy would - â
âIâm borrowing this, by the way,â he added, raising the book and tucking it under his arm while walking to slip on his shoes.
âWhat? No - you donât want - â The front door shut behind him, and Jake couldnât help but chuckle when he heard Bug open the door and call for him to stop. He ignored it, going to greet the tow truck driver.Â
It was hard not to pay attention to Bug after that day at the beach. Sheâd declined every offer to play a game, instead sitting on her towel and reading. She didnât even change into a bathing suit - choosing to wear that long skirt that covered all but the tops of her feet and a t-shirt that gave her a farmerâs tan. The most skin she showed was a flash of ankle when she walked along the water with Kerri, pausing to pick up shells occasionally as Rooster and Phoenix trailed them. Jake tried not to pay too much attention when, on the way back, Kerri and Phoenix pulled ahead, leaving Rooster and Bug walking side by side and chatting. Â
But she stayed through the late afternoon retreat to the Hard Deck, sipping cranberry juice and ginger ale. When she stood beside Rooster as he pulled his usual party trick of playing the piano, Jake tried not to notice how her skirt and his hideous Hawaiian shirt almost matched and pay attention to the woman chatting him up. He saw Bug looking at her phone a few times but only slipped away twice before calling it a night. She declined his offer to drive her home when he managed to shake off the woman - Jackie? - for a few minutes, and said goodbye to everyone instead of disappearing as usual.Â
And now that he was watching, he noticed how frequently she left work early on days they werenât in the air. The occasional wince when she turned too quickly to look at something, and how she sometimes favored her left side toward the end of the day. The handful of over-the-counter painkillers she took after they did PT and drove home before hitting the showers.Â
She didnât join them at lunch every day, but she started to make appearances, even though she mostly stayed quiet and frequently left to answer a phone call before the end of the break. And Jake found himself seeking her out at the smokerâs table. After he returned her book, teasing her mercilessly about the explicit sex scenes in the story, she just put in her headphones and flipped him the bird before going for a walk.Â
He wouldnât admit it, but the book had been hot. And it made him wonder what else Bug was reading, face blank as she sat across from him.Â
The only one who seemed unhappy about the change was Yale. Jake caught the aviator watching her through narrowed eyes a handful of times and noticed how she went out of her way to avoid him. When he asked Bug about it, she just shrugged and changed the topic.Â
The only activity she had yet to do was a night at the Hard Deck, so Jake found himself standing at her front door, grinning at her confused expression. âWeâre going out,â he said, reaching over her head to open the door wider and inviting himself inside.Â
âWhat? No, bra hours are done.â Laughing, he kicked off his shoes and spun, planting his hands on his hips. She crossed her arms over her chest, making the thin material of her t-shirt cling to the swell of her breasts and a thin strip of skin appear over the waistband of her sweatpants.Â
âCome on, Bug. You need to do a Hard Deck night with us. Everyoneâs gonna be there in a few, and itâll be fun.â When she stared at him, he forced his smile to not falter. âYou canât tell me you didnât have fun the two times youâve been there before.âÂ
âIâŠâ she paused and took a deep breath, eyes pinching behind her glasses. âI appreciate the invitation, Hangman, but I want a quiet night. Iâm exhausted and - â
âJust a couple of hours. Have a few drinks, play some pool, and then Iâll bring you home. Promise.â The longer he looked at her, the more his smile faltered. So he played his ace - âRoosterâll be there.âÂ
Her brows knit together for a moment before her expression cleared. âIâll give you one hour,â she sighed.
âThree.â
âIâm not putting my bra back on for three hours. Two or no deal.âÂ
âYouâve got it. As long as you wear something other than jeans.âÂ
âWhatâs wrong with jeans?â she demanded, squeaking in protest when he pushed past her into her bedroom. He flicked on the light, glancing quickly at her unmade bed and rumpled sheets before moving toward her closet. âDo you even know what boundaries are?âÂ
He quickly flicked past her flight suits and uniforms, finding what he was looking for in the back of her closet. Grabbing the hanger, he grinned while turning to see Bugâs scowl. âWear this,â Jake said, trying to hand her the hanger holding a sundress. She stared at it, eyes slowly raising to meet his.
âNo.âÂ
âCome on.âÂ
âNo.â
âYouâll look hot in it.âÂ
âIâm wearing jeans or nothing.â
âNot sure why youâd be naked instead of wearing a dress, but Iâm not opposed.â She blushed, shaking her head.Â
âGoodnight, Hangman. Thanks for stopping by, but Iâm tired.â Jake sighed her name, making her eyebrows shoot up. Heâd never called her that before, and he wasnât sure why he did it now. She was always Bug or Ladybug.Â
âWear the dress. Come out and have fun with your friends. Please?â Their gazes met, and he could see the conflict in her eyes. And, after a long moment, she reached out to take the hanger. Their fingers brushed, and he tried to keep his eyes trained on hers but couldnât help but notice how her breathing had increased. The slight tightness around her mouth as she blinked quickly. And the subtle way her body trembled.Â
âI-Iâm going to jump in the shower.âÂ
When the bathroom door closed, Jake had the urge to knock on it and tell her she didnât have to wear the damn dress. That she could go in her sweatpants and he wouldnât care. That he was an idiot for asking, Yaleâs reminder about their bet ringing in his ears as he drove past her street. She didnât have to wear a damn dress to get Roosterâs attention, and she shouldnât have a crush on a guy who was so oblivious.
Instead, he walked back to the kitchen, opened the cupboards until he found a glass, and helped himself to some water. He stared at that picture of Bug on the manâs shoulders. Her eyes nearly closed behind her glasses with how broadly she smiled, one hand holding a cowgirl hat to her head, the other thrown out to keep herself steady with a beer clutched in her hand.Â
Jake couldnât believe that Rooster wouldnât remember a girl like that. Even without the makeup and smiles, there was no mistaking Bug. Behind those birth control glasses, he could still see glimpses of that woman in the WSO. And it bothered him not to know what had happened to dim that shine.Â
He was a few chapters into another book heâd plucked off the cart when he heard the shower turn off, the blow dryer starting a few minutes later. Jake glanced at his phone to check the time, ignoring the texts asking where he was and if he was going to the Hard Deck. Instead, he set his phone beside him. He settled on the couch, leaning against the arm and making himself comfortable as he read about a group of guys who got together and read romance books to save their relationships.Â
Jake was lost in Gavin and Theaâs story when he heard a throat clear. Sitting up quickly, he spun in his seat, jaw nearly dropping at the sight of Bug. But not his Bug - the Bug from the picture, standing in her doorway with a teasing smirk on her red lips and uncertainty in her eyes. She shifted under his open admiration, hand lifting to adjust the glasses that she wasnât wearing. âLet me guess, youâre gonna borrow that one too?âÂ
âIâŠuh⊠yeah,â he nodded, moving to stand before her. She hadnât pulled her hair back into its usual bun or ponytail, leaving it down so it curled against her shoulders. Jake let his gaze dance down her body, and Bugâs shoulders pulled back under his blatant inspection, inadvertently drawing his attention to her breasts pressing against the sweetheart neckline of her dress. When she crossed her arms, his attention went to the raised red scar on her right arm, and he had to stop himself from reaching out and tracing it with his fingertips. It was about the width of a pencil, curling from the top of her shoulder to the middle of her bicep. Sensing her discomfort, he tore his gaze away, allowing it to drift lower. Her dress skimmed the top of her knees, and he bit back a groan at seeing cowboy boots on her feet, red scars decorating the skin on display.Â
Bugâs hand was clenched tightly around a jean jacket, and Jake could feel the discomfort radiating off her. But she met his eyes when they lifted. He wasnât a makeup expert, but he could appreciate how her eyeshadow and winged eyeliner complemented her eyes, and he found it heartening that he could still see the little divot on her nose from her glasses. âCan you even see without your BCGs?â Jake asked after clearing his throat.Â
The apprehension drained from her face at his gentle teasing, and Bug scoffed while rolling her eyes. âI hate wearing contacts, but Iâll put up with it for a couple of hours.â Shaking his head, he reached for her jacket and took it, holding it out to help her slip it on. His fingers accidentally grazed her neck, and he caught the subtle scent of something floral when she turned toward him. His eyes went to her lips like they were a painted target, and her voice was a little breathier than usual when she spoke. âIâll meet you there?âÂ
âIâll drive,â he answered, voice husky as he stepped back.
âIâll drive so you can have a couple of drinks.â
He shook his head, digging into his jeans pocket for his keys. âYou can be my WSO tonight and pick the music, but Iâm driving.â That made her roll her eyes, and Jake had to force himself not to stare at her ass as she walked in front of him out of the apartment and down to his waiting truck.
In the dark interior of his truck, he could smell her perfume and gripped the shifter to keep from placing his hand on the expanse of her thigh that flashed in every streetlight they drove under. Seemingly oblivious to his struggle, she sang along to a 90s station about kissing in the moonlight.Â
And, once they were outside the Hard Deck, she paused, her hand slipping into his for a fleeting moment. He could feel her shaking and squeezed her fingers before she let him go and stepped into the bar.Â
Everyone would have paused to witness the not-improved-by-different Bug if it had been a movie. But no one seemed to notice them enter, and Jake reclaimed her hand to help tow her through the weekend crowd to where he knew the Daggers would be waiting. And that was where Bug got the recognition she deserved, when Kerri catcalled her, making a flush rise on her cheeks as Phoenixâs girlfriend took her hand and dragged her from Jake, encouraging her to do a little twirl. He saw a couple of glances at her scars, but thankfully, no one said anything.Â
And Jake spent the night catching men checking her out, but Bug remained oblivious. When he went to the bar to get them some sodas - he overheard a conversation from two pilots about not recognizing her. âNow thatâs the Bug I remember,â Rooster said as he joined him at the counter, setting down his empty beer bottle. Jake glanced at his wingman and nodded as they watched her laugh at something Omaha said to her and Fanboy.Â
âHey, Jake,â a somewhat familiar voice said, and he felt a hand on his lower back. A woman slid into the vacant spot beside him, smiling coyly. âLong time no see. Wanna buy me a drink and catch up?âÂ
For his life, he couldnât put a name to her face, but he was pretty sure theyâd slept together. Beside him, Rooster snorted and ordered his beers. Jake tore his gaze away from the woman and caught Penny before she left. âIâll get two Cokes, please.â
âThatâs not my usual,â she giggled.
âNo, itâs my friendâs,â he replied. He shouldnât have enjoyed the shocked look on her face, but he felt relieved when her hand lifted, and she disappeared into the crowd.Â
But when he looked over to see what Bug was up to, sheâd also disappeared. When he returned to the group, Bob said sheâd stepped onto the patio to take a phone call. Jake sipped his soda and tried not to keep glancing at his watch, but his eyes darted to the back door. Yale arrived, pressing a beer bottle into his hand as they played darts, and he didnât think before drinking it.Â
Forty minutes had passed when he finally decided to look for her. The late September night was still relatively warm, but it was breezy by the water. The laughs were loud on the patio, but he didnât see her at the tables. The parking lot lights spilled out onto the beach, and Jake caught sight of a flash of color in the corner of his eyes. His feet moved before he realized it, shoes sliding in the soft sand. As he neared, he could see Bug had removed her boots, her forearm across her raised knees as she curled into herself, trying to make herself as small as possible. âItâs okay, Risk,â her voice was soft, and he could hear her sniffle. The sound made him move faster, shrugging off his bomber jacket as he neared.Â
Sensing his approach, Bug lifted her head, and his heart broke at the sight of tears on her cheeks as she talked on the phone. In the weak moonlight, he mouthed, âYou okay?â She looked at him for a long moment before shaking her head, letting her forehead drop back onto her arm. Jake hesitated a heartbeat before draping his jacket across her shoulders and sitting beside her. The sand was cool, and he rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his wrist and trying not to listen to Bugâs call over the crash of the waves.Â
âRisk, I⊠yeah. But itâs getting⊠I need toâŠâ she heaved a weary sigh, digging her nails into her shoulder. âIâm going to go, alright? We can talk tomorrow and⊠I told you, I'm with some friends toni - â The voice on the other side of the line got loud, and she lifted her head to swipe at her eyes. âNo, Iâm not fucking any of them, Risk.â The words made his blood boil, but Bug just sounded so tired. âIâll talk to you - alright, good⊠I know youâre upset, but I ne - please donât say thatâŠRisk, Iâll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.âÂ
They were silent for a long time, the only sounds were Bugâs occasional sniffles and the tide coming in. A weight hit his bicep, and Jake turned to see that sheâd rested her head on his shoulder. He lifted his arm, tugging her closer. She was trembling, and he knew it wasnât from the cold. âWanna talk about it?â he asked. When she didnât answer, he didnât push.Â
âRisk isâŠwas,â Bug said, voice rough with suppressed emotion, âmy pilot before I got here. W-we were really close.â It was on the tip of his tongue to say that didnât give him a right to say that to her, but her next words froze him. âWe were in a bad car accident coming h-home from my going away party.â
âHow bad?â Jake asked, not wanting to know the answer.Â
âBad. We were t-boned by a drunk driver and - â she gasped, letting him pull her closer when she started to shake. âRolled a few times.â Her hand lifted to touch her temple. âI woke up, and everything was upside down. I hit my head so hard that my glasses broke. But I was lucky. Just had a concussion and cuts from crawling out of the glass. Risk wasnât⊠heâŠhe was turned to look at me when we got hit, and he took the brunt of it.âÂ
âIs he okay?âÂ
Bug shook her head, tears dripping off her face as she stared at the water, her voice sounding distant. âParalyzed from his chest down. The docs think he might get some feeling back, but heâll never walk again. Never fly again. Theyâre med boarding him out for that and the TBI.â
âFuck.â
âOne minute we were having drinks and he was telling me he was in love with me, and the next everything was literally upside down.â It was his turn to tense.
âD-did⊠do you love him?â
âLike a brother.â Jake nodded, pushing away the feeling of relief at her words. His heart cracked when he heard her soft sob. âHeâs so angry with me. He doesnât remember the crash, but I do. I think I was conscious for the first two rolls, andâŠhe was so still. I thought he died. I thought Iâd lost my best friend and couldnât do anything to help him.â Acting on instinct, he pulled her into his arms, her knees digging into the sand by his hips as he held her. He could feel her warm tears on his neck as his hand swept her back, holding her tightly.Â
But while he half expected her to fall to pieces, Bug just let out these little hiccupping sobs that broke his heart. âIâve gotcha,â he said, whispering her name as his lips brushed her hair.Â
âI should have let them ground me.â The words were so quiet he would have missed them if they werenât so close. âI had to leave the day after he woke up. I stayed as long as I could, Hangman, I swear. But the flight surgeon cleared me for duty, and I had orders. I had to come here.âÂ
âYou had orders,â he echoed. âHe canât blame you for that.â When she nodded, he repeated himself. âHe canât blame you for that, Bug.â
âHe feels like I abandoned him. That I left my wingman. I-I figured you all would feel the same way⊠Yale does.âÂ
âWhat does Yale have to do with this?âÂ
âHe was in our squadron before he got stationed here.â A chill ran down Jakeâs spine, bits of information slotting into place. It was quickly replaced with anger.Â
Gently, he pulled away from Bug until he could meet her watery gaze. Her eyes were guarded, exhaustion etched in every feature as he ran his thumb across her cheeks to try and clear away the mess of her makeup. âYou did nothing wrong, honey. And no one can blame you for what happened - the accident or you being here. Understood?â When her eyes lowered, unable to meet his, he cupped her cheek and raised her head. âUnderstood?âÂ
âDid you drink?â His stomach dropped, tasting the beer Yale had given him on his tongue, smelling it on his breath.Â
âJust one.â Bug nodded, bracing her hands on his shoulders and pushing to her feet. It took everything in him not to stop her, his hands sliding to her hips as she looked down at him.
âIâm gonna get a car.â
âI can drive - â
âNo.â He let his hands fall to the sand, hating himself for forgetting his promise. âItâs fine. You should stay and have fun.âÂ
As much as it killed him, he waited with her in the parking lot for her car to arrive, wanting to pull her into his arms but resisting the urge. But when she tried to give him his jacket, he pushed it back into her hands. âIâll get it later and grab yours before I leave.â
Bug nodded, saying as she slid into the backseat, âThanks for tonight, Hangman.â He waited until the tail lights had pulled out of the parking lot before turning and making his way into the Hard Deck.Â
He wanted to get the hell out of there and pushed his way to the counter to close out his tab. Bugâs jacket was by the pool tables, and he threw down the pen to retrieve it after signing his receipt. Fury rose in him as he spotted Yale laughing with Harvard and Omaha. Without thinking, he stalked toward him, shoving the other aviators out of the way to grab him by his collar and pushed until Yaleâs back hit the wall. Jake ignored the âHey!âs and âWhoa!âs, the hands trying to pull him away as he leaned close to hiss, âYou leave her the fuck alone, hear me? Leave her alone, or Iâll fuckinâ kill you.âÂ
Hands curled around him, yanking him away, and Rooster banded an arm around his chest while Harvard stepped between them, holding back his pilot. The bar quieted in anticipation of a fight, but Jake only had eyes for Yale, who grinned. âFinally told you, huh? So much for never leaving a man behind.âÂ
Rooster pulled hard, Payback catching his arm when he raised his fist. âCome on, man,â Rooster grunted, hauling him away. âItâs not worth it.âÂ
He grit his teeth, breathing heavily through his nose as he shook off the other men. Grabbing Bugâs jacket, he stormed out of the bar, avoiding Penny and Mavâs gaze and the whispers that followed.Â
Bugâs jacket sat on his front seat as Jake drove into work on Monday. Heâd texted to check on her over the weekend, but she told him she was okay and didnât want to see anyone. His phone had been blown up with the other Daggers trying to figure out what happened on Friday, but Jake didnât know how to tell them without sharing Bugâs story - and that wasnât his to tell.Â
The morning briefing was short, and they were dismissed to the Ready Room to prepare for their flights. Jake was going up in the first group. But before he headed out to the flight line, he stopped Bug on her way out of the classroom. âIâm fine,â she said, answering his unasked question. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and the silent request for him to not say anything. So he didnât. Other than telling her that her jacket was in his car, Jake asked if sheâd brought lunch or a kidâs snack. That earned him a tired smile, and she said she would have to buy lunch today.Â
But they wouldnât get that opportunity.
Bug went up in the second group, and Jake listened to the radio chatter while lounging on the couch. He was happy to have gotten tone on Yale and Harvard, pulling riskier moves that Cyclone wasnât pleased with, but it had been definitely worth it to hear the asshole cursing him over the mic.Â
Their flight started routine enough, and Jake was helping himself to a cup of coffee when he noted a change in Bugâs tone. âHey Omaha, you with me?â she asked after heâd pulled a quick roll into a dive to avoid Fritzâs attempt to lock on them, climbing to regain altitude as they neared the hard deck. âOmaha?â
âOmaha, come in,â Fritz echoed. âBug, his radio out?â Even though they were out of sight, flying over the desert, Jakeâs eyes flicked to the window.
âNegative, radioâs fine. Omaha?â He could hear the tension in her voice.Â
âShit - level wings, Omaha.â
âHeâs out!âÂ
âInbound,â Rooster called. The Ready Room was silent, and Jake didnât realize heâd moved closer to the radio until he felt the volume dial in his fingers, cranking it higher.Â
âBug - status?â the tower called.Â
âLosing altitude. Fuck!â Hot coffee splashed over his hand as Jake squeezed the paper cup, and he quickly set it down, shaking away the burning liquid at the sound of her panic.Â
âOmaha, recover!â the tower yelled. âSomeone give me details.Â
â55 nose low, 67 bank,â Fanboy called out.Â
âTheyâre diving,â Phoenix breathed. Jake felt a hand on his shoulder but couldnât move. Couldnât do anything but listen to Bugâs panting breath over the radio.Â
âCome on, Omaha,â Payback barked.Â
And then Jake heard it - Bitchinâ Betty telling Omaha to pull up. âPunch out,â he whispered. His hand itched for the throttle and stick, adrenaline racing as he pictured the dive. As a backseater, Bug was helpless. There was no stick, no throttle. Just the radar, letting her know how close to the ground they were. Their speed. It was her pilotâs job to keep her safe. He was vaguely aware of Coyote coming up beside him, probably reliving his G-LOC blackout just a year ago.Â
âTone,â Fritz called.Â
â8G, mach,â Fanboy called. âAlt 500.â They were nose down, headed toward the ground at the speed of sound.Â
âRecover, Omaha!â Rooster yelled. But then one voice drowned all the rest, a scream that Jake would hear in his nightmares for years.
âNeil!âÂ
âClimbing,â Fanboy called.
âBack, Iâm back,â Omaha panted. âFuck.âÂ
âKnock off,â the tower ordered, scrubbing the rest of the exercise. âAlright, Omaha, climb back above 12,000.âÂ
âPayback, knockoff.â
âFritz, knockoff.â
âFuck, Bug, you good?â Roosterâs question went unanswered, so he repeated it. âBug, status?âÂ
âBug?â Omaha said.Â
â9K and climbing,â came her shaky voice.Â
âRooster, knockoff. See you on the ground.â
âYou good?â Coyote asked.
Twenty-seven seconds. Omaha had been out for the longest twenty-seven seconds of Jakeâs life.Â
âSheâs good, Hangman,â Phoenix said. But he didnât hear it. He focused on the radio, listening to the tower guide everyone back in. Rooster refused to land before Omaha, wanting to keep an eye on everything from the air. The room emptied, and he stayed there until Omaha alerted the tower that he was in the landing position.Â
And then he bolted, sprinting past the others to the tarmac, barely restraining himself from running to the jet as Omaha landed and taxied. It took ages for the engines to stop and the canopy to lift. There wasnât any movement for a long moment until Omaha stood, turning to look at his WSO. He extended his arm, and Jake was relieved to see her arm reach up to bump fists. His breath was sawing in and out of his chest as he raced toward her, barely skidding to a halt as the two embraced as soon as their boots hit the tarmac. âSo fuckinâ sorry, Bug,â Omaha breathed. âNever happened before, and it - â
âAre you alright?â Jake demanded, forcing himself not to shove the other man away, his hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to draw deep breaths.Â
âWeâre good,â Omaha answered.
âAre you alright?â Jake demanded again, gaze not leaving Bugâs wide eyes. Her face was damp, and he could see the imprint of her mask on her pale face, but otherwise, she seemed fine.Â
âWeâre good,â she repeated, her voice steady. But when he pulled her into his arms, he could feel that she was shaking hard and smelled the sharp scent of sweat. He was vaguely aware of the others arriving, their questions going unanswered as Bug rested her helmeted head on his shoulder, hiding her face from them.
âIâve gotcha.â He didnât want to let her go, but he knew they needed to make their way to medical. She and Omaha would need to be checked out and debriefed. Eventually, she pulled away and looked up at him, and Jake made himself give her a reassuring smile as he reached to unclip her helmet. Her hair was sleek with sweat when he lifted it from her head, tucking it under his arm.Â
âHey,â Rooster said, appearing beside them, glancing between the two. âYou good?âÂ
âYeah,â Bug nodded, stepping toward him and throwing her arms around him. âThank you, Rooster.â
ââCourse. You ready to get checked out?â She nodded, glancing at Jake. He handed her the helmet and tipped his chin to where the flight surgeon was already talking to Omaha. It hurt to turn away from her, and he caught a flash of something in her eyes as he moved away to shake Fritzâs hand. Rooster threw him a look before tossing an arm over Bugâs shoulder and walking her toward the doc, stopping so she could hug Payback and Fanboy along the way.Â
They spent the rest of the day in the classroom, neither Omaha nor Bug joining them. When Jake left work, he saw that her car was already gone. There was talk of getting together to have a few drinks at the Hard Deck, but Jake had no interest in going - especially not when Bob had quipped about another lucky landing for Ladybug.
Heâd planned on going straight home and having a glass of whiskey. It was his preferred way to wind down after a hard day, and this one hit harder than most. It wasnât the first time heâd almost lost a wingman, and he knew it would take some time to shake, but this time was⊠different.Â
This time, it was Bug.
Jake was parking at her apartment and knocking on her door before he realized it. His fist collided with the metal when she didnât answer. âBug, itâs me,â he called. She was there - her car was in its spot. But she didnât answer. He banged again, then rested his forehead on the door, calling her name. When he heard the flick of the lock, he straightened.Â
Bugâs eyes were red when they met his, her hair a tangled mess on her shoulders. She was still in her flight suit, the sleeves tied around her waist and her black undershirt discolored with sweat. They stared at one another for a heartbeat before Jake stepped closer, cupped her face, and kissed her. His lips were rough against hers, and he took advantage of her surprised gasp to deepen it. Her hand carded in his hair and he walked them into her apartment, pausing only long enough to kick the door closed. He moved his hand to curl around her neck, guiding her to just the right spot while his other hand slid under her shirt, wanting to reassure himself that she was alright. Bug moaned as his hand curved around her waist, fingers digging in and pulling her close enough to feel her heart beating against his.Â
Jake tasted spearmint on her tongue and, when they broke apart to catch their breath, the salt on her skin as his lips sealed on her throat. His fingers curled in her hair, tugging lightly to encourage her to give him more access as he nipped and soothed the hurt with his tongue. âFuck,â she breathed.Â
âDonât scare me like that, honey,â he whispered, relishing the soft whimper she let out. âCanât do that to me.âÂ
âI was so scared,â she admitted. âIt was just like the crash. I couldnât do anything but watch.â His mouth covered hers, unwilling and unable to think about her being in situations where he couldnât do anything to help. Standing by the radio and listening, being helpless, had been the worst kind of torture.
They froze when there was a knock on the door. And then Jake felt as though heâd been doused in cold water when he heard Rooster call out, âBug?â He pulled away and stared at her, taking in her kiss-swollen lips and the red marks heâd left on her throat. âBug?âÂ
âJ-just a minute,â she called back. The glint in her eye dimmed slightly as he stepped away, dropping his hands from her body. Jake ran a hand down his face before licking his lips, savoring the taste of her mouth, tongue, and lip balm before he cleared his throat while continuing to back away.
âIâm⊠Iâm glad youâre okay.âÂ
âYou donât have to - â
Jake didnât wait for her to finish her sentence, turning on his heel to open the door. Rooster took a step back, surprise written across his face, as he pushed past him and hurried toward his truck.
Heâd fucked up, and he knew it.Â
Jake hated himself, but he wasnât sure what for - kissing Bug or leaving her. Probably a bit of both.Â
But he definitely hated himself for going out of his way to avoid her. For seeing the hurt in her eyes, knowing that he caused it, and doing nothing to make it better. Actively making it worse when she sought him out - avoiding her at lunch and flirting with a woman the night Bug surprised everyone by showing up at the Hard Deck. He knew it was a dick move to walk the woman to her car, leaving her disappointed when he said goodnight without so much as a peck on the cheek. Jake knew what it looked like when he climbed into his truck and drove away rather than going back inside. He spent the rest of the night alone in bed, trying to forget the taste of Bugâs skin, only to paste on a fake smile and whistle as he strode into work the following morning. Bug hadnât looked at him all day, but heâd definitely caught angry glances from the others. Â
It had taken everything in him not to stand on the tarmac the first time she climbed back into a jet and watch the entire flight. Instead, he forced himself to play foosball with Coyote and pretended not to listen closely to her on the radio. Â
If there was a benefit to Jake denying himself her company, it was that Bug was getting closer to the rest of the squad. She was eating lunch with them when he dodged her, eating outside or in his truck. She was joining them at the gym instead of sneaking away. The first day he saw her in running shorts instead of pants, Jake wanted to go to his knees in front of her and kiss every scar on her legs to let her know how gorgeous she was.Â
And sheâd agreed to take the last open seat at their table for the Navy Ball.Â
Jake wasnât sure if he would go until a few hours before it started when Phoenix texted that sheâd castrate him if he skipped. So he ironed his dress blues and shaved, promising to leave right after the ceremony and dinner. He didnât even get his truck washed before heading to the hotel, tossing his keys to the valet, and going straight for the cash bar.Â
Phoenix and Kerri were getting pictures taken, and Jake spotted Payback and Maria chatting with Mav and Penny. Fanboy and Bob were mingling, and he didnât want to sit at the table by himself, so he decided to circulate as well. Heâd never enjoyed these nights but knew it was important to get his face out there and show that he was a good sport, especially since heâd be pinning on his gold oak leaves in a few months when he was promoted to Lieutenant Commander.Â
One more step toward his goal of being an admiral.Â
When he was almost finished with his whiskey neat, Jake made his way back to the bar for another but decided to wait until dinner. But as he walked away, he heard someone call him, turning to see Yale motioning him over. âWhat?
âJust thought Iâd rub it in your face that you lost our bet,â the other man smirked, pointing behind him. Jake glanced over his shoulder, watching as Rooster led a woman to their table and pulled out her chair before collapsing into the one beside her. His arm went around her shoulders, and he tugged her in to kiss her temple. âLooks like you didnât get Rooster to pick Bug after all.âÂ
âOur bet was over months ago, asshole,â Jake spat.Â
âYou sure about that?âÂ
âIt was stupid to do in the first place.â
âWhat, you betting that you could get Rooster to be attracted to Bug?â He frowned as Yale looked over Jakeâs shoulder and winked.Â
âYou what?âÂ
He closed his eyes, wishing that it wasnât her. But when he turned, Bug stood there, shock and hurt written across her features. She looked gorgeous in a tight, floor-length navy blue dress with some type of short, glittery sleeves. He could just see the scar on her arm peeking out, and he ached to press his lips to the curve of her neck. âBug - â
âA bet?âÂ
âYup,â Yale said, clapping a hand to Jakeâs shoulder that he quickly shook off, fists clenching. He couldnât punch him here, not in front of all the officers, but he wanted to. âAll a bet.â
âIt wasnât,â Jake said, reaching for Bug. She stepped back, her red lips pressed into a thin line. âIt started out that way but - â
âJust - â she cut him off, lifting a hand to stop him. âJust stop, please. Donât ruin tonight for me. At least, not more than you already have.âÂ
âBug - â But she was gone, pushing through the crowd and exiting into the hotel's main lobby. Turning, he faced Yale, who smirked into his highball glass. âYouâre a fuckinâ asshole, you know that?â The other man shrugged.Â
âYou ever think Iâm doinâ you a favor? That Ladybug might not be a good luck charm but a curse? Look at the other pilots sheâs been involved with - I mean, fuck. Omahaâs never G-LOCâd before, and a couple of months with her as his WSO and suddenly heâs almost crashing?âÂ
Aware of the eyes on him, Jake forced himself not to lift his clenched fist as he stepped closer to Yale. âYou shut your fuckinâ mouth before I shut it for you.â
âGentlemen,â Cyclone said, appearing beside them. âYouâre blocking the bar.â Jake lifted his chin and stepped back, feeling the air bossâs eyes on him.Â
âSorry âbout that, sir,â he forced himself to say. âIâll get out of your way.â His eyes darted across the room and saw Rooster standing up from the table. Angry, he followed the pilot, intercepting him on his way to the menâs room. âHey!â
Rooster startled at Jakeâs bark and raised an eyebrow. âHey?â
âWhy didnât you come with Bug tonight?âÂ
âBug? Why would I come with her?âÂ
âBecause she likes you, you jackass!âÂ
âMe? Bug doesnât like me, jackass. At least, not like that.âÂ
âYes, she does. Sheâs had a crush on you since she got here.âÂ
âArenât you two dating?â The question brought Jake up short. âEveryoneâs kind of thought the two of you were together.âÂ
âNo⊠no, weâre not. Sheâs not - she likes you. Weâre just friends.âÂ
âWow,â the other man said, crossing his arms and smirking. âI didnât realize what a fucking idiot you were. Bug and I are just friends - you two arenât friends. Or, at least, not just friends.âÂ
âButâŠâ
âWow. Phoenix is gonna love this,â Rooster laughed, clapping the other man on the shoulder. âNow, if youâll excuse me, I gotta piss and then get back to my date. Maybe you should go find yours.âÂ
Jake stood there for a long moment, playing the last few months over in his head. It had been a while since heâd seen Bug blush whenever Rooster looked at her. And, if he thought about it, sheâd always looked confused when he mentioned Rooster being somewhere as an incentive for her to go out.
And sheâd kissed him back.Â
MaybeâŠmaybe what heâd taken for an adrenaline crash on her part had actually beenâŠÂ
âFuck,â he groaned, realizing that maybe Bug did actually like him. Maybe he wasnât the only one whoâd caught feelings over the last few months. And she thought heâd only talked to her because of a bet.Â
She ignored his phone calls, and he couldnât find her anywhere in the hotel. He was about to get his car back from the valet and drive to her apartment when he saw her walking back into the ballroom and had to force himself not to run after her. Bug settled at their table, taking a spot between Kerri and Maria. Both women looked at him as he stood behind Bugâs chair and leaned down to whisper in her ear, âCan I talk to you?â
âNo.â
âPlease?â When she turned away from him and started talking to Maria, he bit back a groan. He sighed her name and watched as a blush rose on her cheeks.Â
âMaybe you should sit down, Hangman,â Phoenix said, smirking as she nodded to the seat directly across from Bug. Their squad had thrown in together to get two tables, and he was relieved to see that Yale was sitting at the other one. âSpeech is about to start.â He sighed, rubbing a knuckle along Bugâs shoulder and watching the goosebumps rise. She ignored him, and he retreated to sit between Bob and Roosterâs date. Bug continued to ignore him as he stared at the pretty blush that stretched from her cheeks to her chest. He was paying so little attention that Bob had to elbow him when the color guard entered, and he saluted, not watching the guard but instead watching Bug as she stood at attention with her back to him.Â
If asked, he couldnât tell you a damn thing about what the keynote speaker said over their 45-minute speech other than hazarding a guess that it had something to do with the Navy and Marines celebrating their birthdays together. Instead, he watched Bug turn in her seat, occasionally facing him as she sipped her water. During the short break, he stood and tried to catch her before dinner was served, but she looped arms with Maria and retreated to the ladies' room.
âDidnât think tonight would have a show with it,â Payback chuckled, sipping his beer and setting a glass of wine by his wifeâs plate.Â
âThis is perfect,â Phoenix agreed, tapping her rum and coke against Fanboyâs.Â
âShut up,â Jake grumbled. When Maria and Bug came back, Maria tucked herself under her husbandâs arm while Bug checked her phone. He caught the way her brows furrowed, and her shoulders slumped, finger hesitating over the screen before tapping it and returning it to her clutch. When her eyes lifted, they met Jakeâs before flitting away to focus on the floral centerpiece.Â
The same thing happened as they ate dinner. Jake had never realized how hot it could be to watch someone eat⊠that lipstick smudge on her water glass. When they cleared away dinner and cut the birthday cake, he grabbed them both a piece and fantasized about smearing the icing on her collarbone and licking it off.Â
The DJ kicked off the music, and as soon as Bug put down her fork, he pushed to his feet and circled the table. âDance with me?â he asked, extending his hand over her shoulder. She ignored him, as expected. Her skin was warm under his palm as he rested his hand on her shoulder and leaned to whisper in her ear. âOne dance, and Iâll leave you alone. Promise.â Bug sighed, and Jake grinned when she grabbed her napkin from her lap and threw it onto the table. He pulled her chair back, chuckling when she ignored his offered hand.Â
âOne dance,â she said, holding up a finger before walking to the dance floor. She waited expectantly for him at the side, and he took her hand, leading her to the middle of the floor where they could hide in the crowd from their friendâs prying eyes. But even as she stepped into his arms, one hand resting on his shoulder and the other in his, she didnât look at him.Â
âBug, Iâm sorry.â When she didnât say anything, he forged ahead. âThe bet was stupid, and I made it before I really knew you.â
âWhen?âÂ
âWhat?â
âWhen did you make the bet?âÂ
âThe Fourth of July.â He watched her lips press into a thin line as they swayed to an old song, her eyes fixed on his medals rather than meeting his eyes. Jake sighed, âWe were drunk, and it was stupid, and I donât even know why I did it. And it was before I knew that you and Yale even knew each other before this. But, what Iâm tryinâ to say is that Iâm sorry that I made the stupid bet, but Iâm also not.â
Bug pulled them to a stop, anger flashing in her eyes as she finally looked at him. âYouâre not sorry?â
âNo,â he smiled, applying gentle pressure to her lower back and pulling her closer. She resisted. âYou promised me one dance, Bug, and itâs not over.â Reluctantly, she stepped closer and resumed their awkward dance. âIâm not sorry, at least not entirely, because I probably wouldnât have tried so hard to talk to you if I hadnât been tryinâ to set you up with Rooster. Youâre not the easiest person to get to know.âÂ
âAre you blaming me?âÂ
âNo, just stating a fact. You avoided talking to any of us about anything other than work. If it wasnât for the bet, I wouldnât have gotten to know you - Iâd only know Ladybug.âÂ
âI am Ladybug.âÂ
Jake smiled while saying her name, his hand lifting from her waist to trace the scar on her arm. âYouâre more than Ladybug. Ladybug doesnât read sexy books over lunch or think that apples, cheese, and crackers are a meal. She doesnât play softball or answer her friendâs call even knowinâ heâs probably gonna hurt her. Thatâs all you, honey. Ladybugâs great, but I think Iâm fallinâ in love with you.âÂ
Bug stopped for a second time, her red lips falling open as she looked at him. âWhat?âÂ
âI said, I think Iâm fallinâ in love with you.âÂ
âEven though you were trying to set me up with your friend?â she asked after a moment.Â
âIf you think about it, I wasnât really trying too hard.â
âYouâve been ignoring me for weeks.â
ââCause I didnât want to see you with him, but I want you to be happy. And if youâd be happier with Rooster, then I guess I can figure out some way to break up him and - â
âAre you serious right now?â her voice was getting louder, and they were starting to draw attention. Noticing this, Bug squared her shoulders and stepped out of his arms, storming off of the floor. Jake hurried behind her, heart in his throat as they exited the ballroom and entered the hotel lobby.
âBug, please - â Spinning on her heel, she marched back toward him and poked his chest.Â
âYou⊠you jackass!âÂ
âIâm hearing that a lot tonight.â
âYouâre an idiot!â
âHeard that, too.âÂ
âYou donât tell someone that you âthink youâre falling in love with themââ - she made air quotes while throwing his words back at him - âand then try to set them up with your friend.âÂ
âHow am I supposed to know? This is the first time Iâm doing this.âÂ
âThis is - â Bug paused, ruby lips falling open as she let out a little gasp. Crossing her arms, she cocked a hip and pinned him with a glare. âThis is the first time I think Iâm falling in love with someone, too, and even I know that, you idiot. Itâs pretty common sense.âÂ
Jakeâs grin was blinding, and he hesitantly reached out to wrap a hand around her waist, stepping into her space. Bug tilted her chin to meet his eyes, her lip twitching as she fought a smile. âYou think youâre fallinâ in love with me, Bug?âÂ
âMaybe.â
âWell⊠maybe I donât think Iâm falling in love with you. Maybe I know Iâm in love with you. I think,â he leaned down, his breath ghosting over her face as he stared at her lips. âI think maybe I knew when you nearly burned in.âÂ
âMaybe I knew it then, too.âÂ
Jakeâs nose brushed hers before he kissed her. This time, it was soft. Teasing. Testing the waters. They pulled away to stare at one another for a heartbeat before Bug threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to lick into his mouth. Jake smiled, his arms going around her waist and pulling her close, his fingers curling around the nape of her neck. And then, just like before, they were interrupted. But this time, it was by a catcall.Â
âFinally!â Rooster laughed.Â
âGet a room, you two!â Phoenix ordered before kissing her girlfriendâs cheek.Â
Bug and Jake looked at one another, and she reached up to wipe the red lipstick from his mouth. Her cheeks were flushed, and she couldnât quite meet his eyes when she said, âI do have one⊠a room. Here. If you wanted to.â
âFuck, honey,â he groaned. âLetâs go.â Her blush deepened as she pushed onto her toes to whisper in his ear.
âSo⊠you should know that Iâve only slept with one person. And only once. Just in case itâs notâŠso you donât get your expectations too high.âÂ
Jake stared down at her, forcing his jaw not to drop. âBug, please tell me he at least made you cum.â Rather than answer, she pressed her lips together tightly, and he groaned again.Â
âI have so much to teach you, honey. Starting tonight. Letâs go.â
âMy keyâs in my clutch. At the table.âÂ
âRight.â He nodded, bending to kiss her again.Â
âIt might, umâŠhave been a while. But Iâve read a lot,â Bug said, as though trying to assure them both. And Jake couldnât help but smile at that.
âI know. Iâve read some of your sexy books. Want me to reenact them for you?â Bugâs breath caught, and he chuckled, pecking her lips. âBe a good girl, and wait here for me, honey.â
There was some good-natured teasing when Jake hurried to their table and snatched Bugâs clutch. He ignored it all, wanting to get back to her quickly.
But he did detour to the cake table, picking a slice with extra frosting.Â
----------------------------------------------
Author's Note: This one really got away with me, and I was shocked that I managed to write it in about 2 days. A huge thanks goes to May for beta'ing this for me and making sure that Jake still felt like Bug was interested in Rooster throughout.
I love the idea of Jake reading romance novels because his girlfriend likes them. Three that were mentioned here (in order) are: Wicked Beauty by Katee Roberts, The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, and The Bromance Bookclub by Lyssa Kay Adams. You know that he would absolutely lovingly tease his partner about reading them, and then be blown away by just how much one can learn from reading smutty literature. There are definitely some book shopping trips he'll be treating Bug to in the future.
Ladybugs have historically been seen as a sign of good luck. I liked the idea of Reader having that as a callsign, as she wouldn't have anything to do with piloting the plane, but could serve as good luck for her pilot. Even in scrapes, she's there to help them out. For Risk, on his first carrier landing, she was able to keep him calm, and later in the accident, she was able to keep him stable until help arrived. For Omaha, she was able to snap him out of G-LOC by screaming his name. And for Jake? Well, ladybugs can also mean luck in love and expanding family.
A bit about the trauma in the story. Bug would meet the diagnostic criteria for post-trumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and probably should have been grounded for a little while. But disassociation from the traumatic event can help someone compartmentalize their trauma and get back to work (can attest to this from personal experience) - she was medically cleared by the flight surgeon and was back on duty. As of this posting, the Air Force is the only branch with a policy that allows aviators to get 60 days of mental health treatment without needing a return to duty waiver/clearance. Bug would have benefited from treatment, which might have further delayed her PCS and made Yale not hate her. She's not "cured" of PTSD by falling in love, but hopefully there's some therapy in her future to help her process the traumatic events. As for the G-LOC, there is no way for a WSO to take control of the aircraft, and the F-18s haven't been retrofitted with the technology to have autopilot reengage when the pilot loses control.
Risk would undergo the medical discharge process - "med board" - to be separated from the military with an honorable discharge following the accident, as he would be unable to preform the duties of his Military Occupational Specialty (MOS). I donât imagine him as a bad guy, trying to hurt Bug, but traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) can cause emotional dysregulation and aggression that can be hard to deal with.
If you're interested, this is the dress that I imagined Bug wearing to the Navy ball (not representative of how I think she looks).
Thank you so much for reading this. If you would like to be added to my tag list, please fill out my tag list form (hyperlinked).
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#hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin x reader#top gun fic#top gun maverick#jake seresin#Hangman top gun#soft!Jake Seresin#hangman smut#hangman fic#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin fanfiction#hangman imagine#She's All That fic#sorchasromcombirthdaycelly
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a story in which katsuki's bratty son tries to blackmail his mother! how terrible
â characters. katsuki, reader, katsuma (the son)
â contents. fluff, katsuma is a little shit
â word count. 600
â authors note. GJFCK MFGVFDXK GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDOMESTICTRASFJNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGJBJFNVDSLM
Your son is alot like his father, in good ways mostly.
He stands up for himself at school, and is mostly independent. For the most part, Katsuma was a pretty easy kid.
However, he can also be the most major little shit on the planet, much like in the situation you're in now. He's learned what blackmail is, and he loves it.
You were in the kitchen, baking cookies, when you heard Katsumaâs voice from the living room. "Ma! What's this?" he yelled.
You turned to see your five-year-old holding the pregnancy test you had thrown away earlier.
Oh no.
Your heart skipped a beat. "Katsuma, where did you find that?" you asked, trying to stay calm.
"In the trash," he said with a mischievous grin. "I'm gon' tell Dad unless you give me extra cookies- and I wan' that brand new hero figurine at the store...AND I wan' my own bb gun- AND!!! I wan' a brand new pair of boo-"
"Katsuma." you sighed. You've known your son to be a major handful all his life, but also know realizing he did indeed have you in a tight spot. "Katsuma, this is important. I wanted to tell your dad in a special way."
Katsuma pouted, crossing his arms. "Fine, but I still want extra cookies...and the figure...an' can I still have the bb gun?" You sighed once more.
"Alright, you can have two extra cookies- AND the figurine... but you have to promise to keep this a secret for now," you said, hoping to buy some time.
"Deal," he said, his eyes gleaming with pride.
As you handed him the cookies, you couldn't help but feel frustrated, yet a bit amused. Katsuma was a lot like his fatherâbrash, stubborn, and always wanting to be in control. You watched as he stuffed the cookies into his mouth, crumbs falling everywhere, and shook your head with a small smile.
Just then, you heard the front door open. Katsuki walked in, looking as intense as ever. "What's going on in here, hm?" he asked, sensing the tension.
Katsuma jumped in before you could speak. "Mom's got a secret, but she won't tell me!"
You shot a look at Katsuma, then turned to Katsuki. "It's not like that! I justâŠI found out something today and wanted to surprise you..."
Katsuki raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What's that?"
Taking a deep breath, you decided it was now or never. "Katsuki, Iâm pregnant. We're having another baby."
For a moment, he just stared at you, processing the news. Then, a rare, genuine smile spread across his face. it was sadly short lived, and replaced with a smirk instead. "Oh really?".
Katsuma looked between the two of you, his earlier mischief forgotten. "So, does that mean I get a little brother or sister to boss around?"
"Katsuma, you will not be bossing your them around." you said, ruffling his hair. "You have to be a good big brother, okay?"
Katsuma's eyes widened. "Iâll be the best big brother ever! Can I teach them how to play hero games?"
You chuckled. "Sure, but you'll also need to help take care of them."
Katsuki walked over and pulled you into a gentle hug. "I'm really happy, you know," he said quietly. "This is good news."
You relaxed into his embrace, feeling a wave of relief. "I was so nervous about telling you."
He pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "Why? You know Iâm always here for you, no matter what."
Katsuma tugged at Katsukiâs pant leg. "Dad, does this mean we need to buy more baby stuff?"
Katsuki laughed. "Yeah, it does. And you can help pick it out." "Good! Yknow dad...when we go to the store,I wanted to see if you could buy me a new figurine..or a bb gun...or a brand new pair of boo-" "No." "Oh.. DAMNIT!"
The rest of the evening was filled with excited chatter about the new baby. Katsuma kept asking questions about what it would be like to have a sibling, while Katsuki suggested names and joked about teaching the new baby how to be tough like him.
Later, after dinner, you all sat together in the living room. Katsuma was snuggled between you and Katsuki, half-asleep from all the excitement.
Katsuki looked over at you, his expression softer than usual. "You know, I never imagined myself having a family like this," he admitted. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Me neither. Weâve come a long way, havenât we?"
He nodded, reaching over to squeeze your hand. "Yeah, we have. And itâs only going to get better from here."
#mha x reader#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki x you#bakugou x you#bakugo x you#mha x you#bnha smut#mha smut
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let the light in - ryomen sukuna
â©âË.ââŸââșâ⧠10k follower event special! â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
word count: 15.5k warnings: mentions of fighting and injuries, reader has a cursed technique but i don't describe it bc i'm lazy, she's actually pretty weak in this ngl i needed her to be a bit of a damsel in distress. sukuna is pretty out of character but he has to be. also sukuna can take control of yuji's body when he's asleep bc i decided so ok it's my first time writing for him so bare with me. summary: reincarnation!au with a twist. in every life sukuna finds you in, he has to remind you of who you once were- and who you once were to each other. it's a burden, but it's one he's carried for centuries and he wouldn't have it any other way. more info: slowburn enemies to ?? to lovers, sukuna is hopelessly in love with reader its very fun â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
[ ooh let the light in // at your back door yelling cause i wanna come in // ooh turn your light on // look at us, you and i back at it again ]
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
Finding her in this life was the first thing on his mind as soon as his consciousness was manifested. Just like every era before this one, sheâs always his first thought.
The second thought was- what the fuck?Â
In all of his centuries walking this earth, heâd never been quite out of body like this. As in, in a completely different body from his own. And much to his displeasure, heâd manifested inside of some brat jujutsu sorcerer that was a bit too strong for his own good. No worries, though, after they tracked down a few more of his cursed fingers heâd be able to take proper control and Itadori Yuji would cease to exist as soon as Sukuna regained his full strength.
So for some time, he played nice. Or, as nice as he could, that was. He sat back in his domain and waited. Heâd never been one with a strong sense of patience- he may have been a man once but he was a curse now- but if it meant strengthening his chances in being reunited with her sooner, then he would play the long game. Besides, he could have some fun torturing the brat and his friends for a little while, right? No harm in some chaos and carnage along the way. He would need good stories to tell her when they were together again, anyways.
There were times where the brat began to wonder what it was Sukuna was doing there, quietly tucked into his domain. On the rare occasion that he didnât rear his head into conversation with a nasty comment coming from a mouth materialized on his cheek or the back of his hand. Times passed where Yuji would cringe awaiting Sukunaâs inevitable filth, but instead he was gifted with silence from the curse inhabiting him. The young sorcerer could only assume that this meant he was doing something else- but what? What could he possibly occupy himself with while trapped in his own domain? Some days Yuji worried he was plotting something, but others he wondered if the King of Curses was just lost in thought. Did he daydream?
Sukuna wouldnât call it that, but if anyone were able to catch him in the act, theyâd know it was exactly that. All he could do with his time is imagine how heâd reunite with her in this life. It was one of his favorite parts of each new century or so, and after hundreds of lifetimes, there were plenty of memories to keep himself occupied with.
This time he knew heâd have to outdo himself, seeing as he was in an unfamiliar body, and he could only hope that she liked this one as much as the last. Perhaps the next time he took control of it heâd make sure everything was up to standard- he couldnât have her rejecting him just because he was in some bratâs body this time. On the other hand, he knew her to be more playful and experimental than he was, so maybe sheâd find a change in host exciting.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
To his delight, Sukuna is reunited with the great love of his life sooner than expected. To his great displeasure, itâs at exactly the wrong time.
Heâd been irritated enough having his brat vessel tap out just because he couldnât take on a measly little Special Grade. Of course, he wasnât about to appease some righteous jujutsu sorcererâs agenda by exorcizing the curse himself. But in the end, the curse disappointed him too, thinking that it could pick a fight with the King of Curses and come out of it alive.
Pride outweighed vengeance, and he found himself entertained with playing with the Special Grade. Playing, because of course itâs abilities were weak compared to real jujutsu, unlike the childish display the brat had put up first.
Heâs so drawn in by his play fight with the curse that heïżœïżœïżœd completely missed her- that is until heâs using his Domain Expansion, and from the corner of one of his eyes he finally notices.
While itâs a shock that heâs managed to let the great love of his life go unnoticed, she isnât exactly⊠conscious.
The special grade is sliced diced and forgotten, barely even a blip in Sukunaâs memory now once he recognizes the slumped over body on a pile of rubble a few hundred feet away. Heâs delighted, ecstatic even. The bloodthirsty grin on his face is replaced by a beam of pure thrill. Heâd previously thought it might take years to find her in this life, so to stumble across her now, after getting control of this body over a mere pest, was a real treat.
He approaches her limp body so quickly heâs practically teleported to her, and his beam begins to falter as he takes in her current state.
Itâs not a matter of worry that sheâs fairly beat up and knocked unconscious so hard thereâs soft snores between heavy breaths, her mortal body working overtime to keep her alive at all- it was nothing a quick use of his Reverse Cursed Technique couldnât fix.
The wince of disgust that contorts his features is directed solely at her attire. Â
Crisp black button up torn open to reveal the same shade of undershirt snugly fitting her underneath, paired with pants of the same material. He didnât need to see the crest at the collar of her shirt to give him further context as to what she was up to in this century.
âOf course,â He utters through his snarl as he crouches down towards her, hands glowing as he promptly heals her wounds. She doesnât awaken, her body growing even more exhausted after being put through the technique, but her muscles do appear to relax as she slumps further into the dirty ground. âYou would be a sorcerer in this lifetime. Idiot,âÂ
The cruel name falls from his lips with nothing but melted affection. No other person on this earth would be allowed to hear him speak this way and live to tell the tale. It was reserved only for her- and she wasnât even awake to hear it now.
With steady hands Sukuna gathers her in his arms, trying to bend her into a more comfortable position. She doesnât wince or complain when bruised limbs drag across broken slabs of concrete. If he wasnât able to hear the steady beat of her heart, she would have easily been mistaken for dead already.
âA shitty reunion this time around, Iâm afraid,âÂ
Sukuna sighs before he sits fully on the ground. Heâs not sure how much longer heâd be in control of this body, but any thoughts of fleeing to bring as much destruction to Tokyo is far from his mind. He wants nothing more than to sit here with his lover and hope that sheâd wake back up before heâs dragged back into his domain.
With one arm wrapped under her shoulders to keep her limp body closely tucked to him, his free hand brushes the messy strands of hair away from her resting face. She looks peaceful, even though when she wakes sheâd still carry the aches of her healed injuries. The tips of his fingers linger over her soft cheek as he admires her.
âJust as beautiful in this life as you were in every one before it, my love,â He murmurs, so quiet that even if she were conscious enough to hear it, she probably wouldnât have.
He only gets a few moments of peace with her before he can feel a stir from inside of him, and he can faintly make out Yuji gaining his consciousness back. He snarls in his aggravation, wishing he could knock the brat out so he could get just a little more time with his long lost love, even if she wasnât her usual lively self.
âCome, we have things to doâ He tells her, before he pulls her closer and lifts her up. Â
He makes his way out of the destroyed building with leisure, knowing that the other sorcerer, Fushiguro, would be waiting outside for a fight. It wasnât in his plans to end the kidâs life just yet, but with the reunion of his one true love coming prematurely, things might have to change. Oh well, he was flexible.
She fusses in his arms upon the lift, but even with her pinching brows and twitching eyelids, she never quite wakes up. Which was alright, they would have plenty of time to properly catch up in a bit. Sukuna had other things to handle first.
It would be some time still before she properly met the King of Curses face to face- in this life anyways- as shortly after his departure of the ruined building, he would have to set her aside to take care of a few of the weaker level shikigamis that the Fushiguro kid sent his way. After ripping the bratâs heart out of their shared chest, it would be a few weeks before things seemingly transitioned back to normal.
When (y/n) would finally come to in the infirmary a few hours after it all went down, Megumi would relay how the King of Curses had carried her out in his arms. Sheâd give him a bitter laugh, thinking he was trying to lighten the mood after the news of the death of their friend. But Megumi wasnât usually very good at telling jokes, and after seeing his grave expression stay put, her face would fall.
âYouâre serious?âÂ
Megumi nods, the thin line of his lips unwavering.
(y/n) blinks a few times as she processes it slowly. Sheâs still not sure that she believes him, but she doesnât have a reason not to either. If Gojo had told her this sheâd have rolled her eyes, and maybe called him insensitive and unserious, but why would Megumi make something like that up?Â
âI donât understand,â She tells him with a furrowed brow, and the way Megumi shrugs one shoulder unenthusiastically tells her he didnât understand it any better than she did. âYouâre telling me he saved me?âÂ
âMaybe, I donât know,â Megumi replies dryly. He shouldâve known sheâd ask him questions he clearly didnât have the answers for, so he tried to provide her with what he did know so that maybe she wouldnât torment him with more of her own questions. âBut he brought you out, and set you down somewhere with your head propped up, and he didnât try to attack you at all. At least, it looked like he didnâtâÂ
Her tongue darts over the dryness of her bottom lip as her jaw hangs open at him. She doesnât bother him with more useless questions, but that doesnât mean the whole ordeal wasnât plaguing her mind.
Something was very strange about that behavior. But with Yuji gone, she figured it was no use trying to decipher it all anyways. Maybe after some time when her grief wears off into something she could live with, she could forget about it completely.Â
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
With Yuji turning out to be alive and well, Sukunaâs plans shifted once more. Heâd tortured him as best he could without the ability of taking control of the body, letting his friend be turned into a transfigured human, refusing to kill the spirit that called itself Mahito- as upsetting as it was to his brat vessel, Sukuna cared very little for such trivial events. In fact, if Yuji were to shut up about it, he probably could have forgotten completely. He only had one goal on his mind- to return to her again. Anything else was merely a stepping stone along the way.
Just as before, Sukuna spends most of his time in his domain without much noise. Except this time, Yuji starts to get an inkling of what heâs doing.
âItâs unbecoming and submissive of you to pretend to be dead,âÂ
Sukuna taunts one day while Yujiâs working on his âtrainingâ on Gojoâs couch while he invests himself with a romantic movie. His sudden appearance was a good test to his abilities, though, as the sleeping cursed puppet on Yujiâs lap doesnât stir. It was safe to say that Yuji had gotten as used to sharing his body with the curse as he was going to get.
âWhat if your little sorcerer friends need you?â Sukuna chuckles. He quite enjoys the image of Fushiguro and the little red-headed girl struggling to keep up with mere Second Grade curses. Â
âTheyâre fineâ Yuji replies casually, barely paying attention to the mouth on his face that wasnât his. The movie was just getting good, after all.
âYou think they can manage to hold their own?â Sukuna scoffs at the thought. âWith half-assed cursed techniques like theirs?âÂ
âFushiguro and Kugisaki are the most cutthroat people Iâve ever known. Didnât Fushiguro almost kick your ass?â Yuji mutters, more irritated than offended by Sukunaâs cruelty. âYouâre just lucky you havenât had to deal with (y/l/n)âÂ
So is that what she was calling herself this time? Sukunaâs lips tilt into a smirk.
âShe doesnât seem like much to be afraid of,â The words themselves are harsh, but something in his tone changes. Enough that Yuji starts to lose focus on the television. âLast I saw her she was half dead. If it werenât for me, she would have been dead-deadâÂ
That finally catches Yujiâs full attention, and he misses the next few lines of the movie when he asks, âWhatâs that supposed to mean?âÂ
Sukunaâs silent, thoughtfully so, as he tries to find just the right way to play his cards. Does he use his history with the bratâs friend as a scare tactic? Or does he keep that little fact to himself for a while longer? Either way, the longer heâs silent, the more Yuji begins to go stir crazy.
âHey, you old curse!â He hollers suddenly, causing the cursed puppet in his lap to wake up and start to get aggressive. Yuji heaves as the tiny thing rears a heavy punch into his gut, but it doesnât stop him from interrogating the curse inside of him. âWhat did you mean by that!?â He huffs out.
Sukuna chuckles, and just as quickly as heâd appeared on Yuujiâs cheek, he disappeared again, hiding away in his domain and entertaining himself with the sight of Yuji getting beat up by a little cursed teddy bear.
Perhaps heâd let the brat overthink for a little while longer, anxiety was a form of suffering after all, wasnât it? At least watching the brat worry himself sick about it would provide him some amusement for the coming days. Until the sanction of his fake death is lifted, and he could go back to his goal of being reunited with his love. Â
(y/l/n). Her new surname rings in his head as he settles in his domain and lets his mind begin to wander again. As pretty as it was, heâd have to return it to the proper name. His name.
Yuji is attacked by Yagaâs cursed puppet a few more times that evening, but not due to the film changing his range of emotions. In fact, it was due to his complete lack of focus on the movie. All he could think about was what business Sukuna could possibly have with (y/n).
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
When he makes his surprise reappearance for his friends, Yuji debates on pulling (y/n) aside and asking her about what Sukuna had mentioned. But for all he knew, he very well could have been toying with him, and ultimately he decided to enjoy what little time he had to catch up with his friends before they dove into the Exchange Event. It just didnât seem worth bringing up at this time.
But for some reason, when she takes her seat as the Tokyo students begin their planning, Yujiâs compelled to sit beside her. Itâs not an odd choice, itâs not out of character for him, she is his friend after all, but heâs quite aware of the way his feet move on their own accord to carry him to the empty seat beside her. Yuji knows his body, and he knows he wasnât the one commanding it to do that.
It makes him gulp when he unceremoniously plops into the seat. (y/n) gives him a look, something crossed between confusion and amusement, but she brushes it off and doesnât say a word as she shifts her focus back to Maki. Yuji tries to ignore it as well, a bit embarrassed about the whole display. Was that really Sukuna? He tried to clear his mind, too, it was quite important that he took in everything Maki was saying, but his mind is wrapped up in whatever game the King of Curses was playing right now.
And finally, when he thinks heâs heard enough of the game plan for the event, he feels it.
The slit under his right eye opens, the side facing (y/n). Yuji holds his breath, hoping that Sukuna doesnât open his loud mouth and bark out something insulting, but he doesnât. His mouth never materializes. He simply stares.
Itâs almost worse.
A few minutes pass and no one seems to notice, as the attention of the room is still commanded by Maki. Except for Yuji himself, as heâd stopped listening to her altogether while he anxiously awaited whatever was to come next. What was he doing? He began to bounce his leg.
His throat closes up when he sees (y/n) turn her head out of the corner of his eye. He doesnât meet her gaze, even though sheâs clearly staring at him- or Sukuna, he supposes- but she doesnât speak up. Sheâs just as silent as the curse heâs hosting. Still, her gaze remains on the dark eye peeking out at her. If they werenât in a room with all of their peers, Yuji wouldâve broken his ignorant demeanor by now, but something inside him tells him to keep his mouth shut.
When the group disbanded for a quick lunch before the event officially started, (y/n) remained seated while the others filtered out, and when Yuji began to stand, she stopped him. All sheâs done is reach a hand out, she barely even touches his arm, but itâs enough for him to stop in his tracks, and he stays put in his seat.
They donât say anything until the room is empty, and even then, (y/n) chooses to speak quietly, almost under her breath.
âWhat the hell is going on withâŠâ She pauses, her eyes flickering between Yujiâs and the ones below, before she raises her hand in a small gesture. âHim?â She mumbles it so low, afraid that saying his name would be enough to summon him, even though heâs so clearly already there before her.
âI donât-âÂ
Yuji starts, but before he could say anything- or think of anything to say- Sukunaâs mouth is materializing on his cheek. Itâs an unsettling feeling on its own, but Yuji always felt a certain chill on his spine whenever heâd feel that mouth forming a smile.
âJust missed lookinâ at you, sweetheartâÂ
Yujiâs face is sickly pale in a matter of seconds, the fear that settles over him tenses up all of his muscles, to the point they ache, and as much as he wants to remove himself (and Sukuna) from this situation, heâs frozen in place. Too stunned to say anything, too stunned to move, he just stands there helplessly as (y/nâs) wide eyes dart between both pairs on his face.
(y/nâs) reaction comes first, the shocked expression wearing off into something else. Yuji canât place what it is- anger, disgust- but she loses the desire to keep the conversation quiet as reality settles over her.
âWhat!?â It comes out in a screech, but itâs just as quickly followed by absolute rambling. âWhat the hell are you talking about? What the hell is he talking about?â She awkwardly shifts her gaze between both sets of eyes, unsure and unfamiliar with how to communicate with the both of them.
âI- I donât-âÂ
Again, Yujiâs interrupted before he can come up with anything.
âWe still have all the time in the world, for now you just keep your pretty little head focused on this game of yours, hm?âÂ
Just like that, the fanged mouth is disappearing and Yujiâs cheek is returned to itâs normal state again.
(y/n) blinks, going silent again while her face is flushing with color. Now her eyes seem to focus on the lower, darker pair of eyes. Itâs hard to gauge what Sukuna is thinking, or feeling. With only a narrowed set of eyes to go off of, not to mention heâs a reckless curse, heâs not a man, she doesnât know what to make of the interaction.
But with the memory of what Megumi had told her, a dread begins to weigh down her chest. Whatever this behavior was about, it couldnât mean anything could. It was unwanted attention, that was for sure. No matter how warm her face felt, or how nervous she suddenly was just being around Yuji.
Soon enough the eyes shut too, but even though it appears itâs only her and Yuji in the room, she can still feel Sukunaâs presence. She swallows the lump in her throat like itâs lead.
âLetâs justâŠâ Her eyes flit away from the closed lids, meeting Yujiâs warm but worried gaze again. Sheâs not sure if itâs a comfort or not that he seems just as anxious as she feels. âLetâs just get through the Exchange Event firstâ She suggests.
Sheâs sure that this is the right choice of action. There was simply no time to dwell on Sukunaâs out of character behavior- then again she didnât know him, she didnât know what was in character, he was a curse!- not with all of their peers relying on them to secure the win for the Tokyo Prefecture.
Although she couldnât deny her head wasnât exactly in the game during the event. When she finds herself getting sloppy, taking hits she normally should have been able to dodge, she begins to curse the King of Curses himself. Surely this whole thing was an act, that was what he was best at, wasnât it? Torture? Mind games? He was probably laughing it up in his domain watching her struggle so miserably at an event she couldnât have been more prepared for.
When shit really hit the fan and curses and curse users reared their ugly heads in the middle of a semi-light hearted game, it dawned on her just how out of it sheâd really become. Suddenly it didnât matter how Mai shouldnât have been able to get that shot at her shoulder- or how she shouldâve seen Miwaâs Domain Expansion coming. There was no way she was going to let a curse like him get in her head and keep her from protecting her friends and herself from a real threat.
And once this attack in the middle of their event was taken care of and the scores were settled, sheâd find a way to give the King of Curses a piece of her mind.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
That time came sooner than expected, and itâs seemingly out of nowhere when he pays her a little visit.
Deep down she knows that she should be terrified when the King of Curses is at her door requesting her time for âa talkâ as he called it. A thousand questions should flood her mind, and after some time theyâll begin to register, slowly and one by one, far later than itâs appropriate to ask.
Heâd gotten her alone, and this should terrify her further, she should feel like a lamb in the presence of a wolf- no- curse. But for some reason, when he enters the training room sheâd been doing warm ups in, all she does is stare at him.
Sukuna knows that thereâs no way she could have mistaken him for the brat, not with all of his markings, not with his vermillion eyes, not with the abundant amount of cursed energy he carried with him. Any other mortal would straighten up, freeze in place and stare at him in utter fear as they waited for whatever fate he bestowed upon them.
Not her.
Foolishly, he believes this is due to the lifetimes theyâd spent together before this one. Even though heâs well aware of the rules of the courtship. He recalls many meetings before this one where heâd had to open her eyes to the Binding Vow that brought her back in every lifetime. Still, he naively held onto a hope that her lack of reaction to his presence now is because somewhere inside of her, she knows she doesnât need to be afraid of him like the others.
(y/nâs) true feelings couldnât have been farther from his assumptions. It may have been a moment of poor judgment, but the moment heâd materialized at that door, irritation overrode self preservation. It didnât matter that the cursed energy he carried was so heavy it was palpable. Â
She took one look at the King of Curses and furrowed her brows like she was a child heâd wronged, and there wasnât an ounce of fear for her life when sheâs the first to speak.
âWhat the fuck are you doing out?âÂ
Out, itâs a funny choice of word, isnât it? Sukuna canât help the chuckle of amusement. Did she mean out and about, casually roaming the sacred grounds, or could she have meant out due to his control over the bratâs body?Â
A frown settles on her lips when she sees heâs already enjoying himself. She should be wondering what heâs been up to before he came here, or when exactly it was he gained control over Yujiâs body.
âAnd what happened to-âÂ
Before she could fully voice her worry for her friend, Sukunaâs waving a dismissive hand.
âThe bratâs fine, not everything has to be about him, you knowâ He scolds her as if this was a conversation theyâd had a hundred times before now. Her frown deepens.
âForgive me for caring more about him than a curse like youâ She scoffs back at him.
How was it that in every lifetime she had to have that same bad attitude? Of course eventually sheâd always settle down and warm back up to him, century and century again. Some cases took days, others years, and Sukuna was starting to get a feeling that due to the circumstances they found themselves in this time around, this case could be the latter. He frowns at the thought.
He found her so quickly this time, why did she have to be so stubborn?Â
âAlways such a brat, I can hardly tell the difference between you,â He replies.
The look of disgust on her face is washed away by mild surprise. Both from the soft and easy cadence of his usually rough and cruel voice, and from the realization that he probably should have killed her for talking back to him the way she did. Now she starts to wonder just how many buttons she can push before she sees the true side of the King of Curses.
Her brows pinch together as she watches him with calculations behind her eyes. Was this all a part of the act from before?Â
âHow interesting could things have been if youâd swallowed the finger that day and not this brat, hm?â He muses, and he seems genuinely curious about it. Â
(y/n) can barely keep up with him, trying too hard to jump to conclusions before heâs revealed them. Then again, there might be nothing to understand at all- this was all a part of the mind games, wasnât it? She makes a mental note to meet with Gojo about this. Sukuna mustâve had greater plans in mind that the strongest sorcerer should be looped in on. Even if so far⊠he hadnât exactly done anything⊠just made her friendship with Yuji fairly awkward.
Sukuna hasnât moved from the doorway. Her eyes sweep over him carefully as she wonders if this is purposeful. If his motive is to give her a false sense of safety.
âHumor me for a moment, (y/n)âÂ
He sounds out her name like itâs an unfamiliar word, and for the first time since heâd appeared minutes prior, thereâs a familiar hollow in her chest. At first she tags it as distress, but the way it lingers like a dull ache has her double guessing itâs cause.
âWhat?âÂ
No shouldâve been what came out of her mouth- if anything needed to be said at all. Would he let her leave if she tried? Would he punish her for it? However, despite every instinct begging to drag her in a different direction, she canât help the intrigue she feels for him.
âWhatâre you doing here as a sorcerer?â He hums again with his question, eyes narrowing on her slightly as he takes account of her every reaction.
Sheâs holding her breath right now, itâs obvious in her tense jaw and unmoving chest. Not even a strand of hair waves in itâs place. Every part of her is so still, he could easily mistake it as her natural instinct to fear him as her natural predator. He knows this isnât the case.
She opens her mouth to protest the question at first, but just as quickly, her jaw slacks, and sheâs closing it softly as she sits on it a little more thoughtfully.
âWhy do you ask?âÂ
It irks him to have a question answered with another question. This was another quirk of hers that she always had in the earlier stages of their reunion. Even with the grain of irritation, Sukuna still finds himself amused in the way that she truly is the same person in every lifetime. She may have different names, and occasionally a feature or two isnât quite how he remembered it- and trust him, he remembered- but her soul remained pure, unfiltered, unchanging. She was always his.
âThe last we spoke, you had quite the unshakable opinion about a society that breeds and boasts of itâs powerful children to protect them, only to leave them in neglectâŠâ He trails off, scanning her features in the search of any flash of recognition. If anything, sheâs only more confused. Her brows are furrowed and her lips have formed a pout which he deemed as her sign of defeat in trying to understand him. âSomething about creating the things you fear. But it was quite some time ago, and I see youâve so clearly changed your mindâ He raises a hand, palm up as he lazily gestures to her.
(y/nâs) posture straightens up, partially out of her defensive nature, but mostly due to the seriousness in his tone. Logic tells her she shouldnât be taking anything he says as truth, it would be foolish, and in the end probably deadly too.
But that intrigue hits her, ignites a tiny spark in her chest that has her longing to learn more. The intensity tells her that if he werenât this curse, that perhaps if he was just a man, she might humor him in the way he was looking for.
If she began the what if game now, she feared sheâd find herself justifying her continuation of this conversation.
âYou must have me confused, thenâÂ
Her words are clear and concise without being loud.
âI havenât confused you in any century before this one and I would never confuse you in the ones to come after,âÂ
She tries to hide the surprise in her expression, but she knows she fails. Especially when Sukunaâs amusement in her reaction seems more genuine than before. He takes a step into the room, just a single one.
âYour brat friend is fine. He fell asleep. We have a sort of⊠deal,âÂ
There is some comfort in his words, even if (y/n) is unsure about her trust in him, the words still hit her chest and her shoulders slowly begin to untense. She doesnât question him, doesnât make any comment at all. She supposes heâll fill the silence eventually, and her assumption is correct.
âYou and I have known each other for quite some time,â He continues. âLong ago, you made a Binding Vow to me. A vow that allowed your mortal body to be reborn in every lifetime, so that I may find youâÂ
Her brows furrow, hardly believing this to be the truth. Sheâs supposed to believe a Binding Vow could hold the power to reincarnate her? A quiet scoff blows past her lips.
âIncredible,â She murmurs, but itâs clear her astonishment isnât enthusiastic. Itâs cynical. âWhat sort of entertainment do you really gain from this?âÂ
She asks, crossing her arms over her chest as she dares a few steps forward. Sheâs not all that close to him, but at the end of the day it didnât matter her distance from Sukuna, the radius of his danger could stretch for miles.
âYou never believe me right awayâ He muses, his hands folding behind his back as he regards her curiously. It makes her feel like a specimen, like a wild animal heâs just stumbled upon, but she doesnât shrink under the intensity of his gaze.
âWould you?â
Itâs not the response heâs expecting, but his eyes light up with a flicker of excitement.
âOf course not,â He answers, his lips beginning to curl into a smile. It should send a chill down her spine, but she takes another step forward and tilts her chin up higher. So foolish, he thinks with an air of loveliness wrapped around it, donât you see that the mere fact I let you live for behaving like this must mean thereâs some truth in my words? Instead, he tells her âYet, you fall every timeâ
âI fall for the trick?â She snaps, but her intrigue remains.
âYou fall for meâ He clarifies, a finality in his tone that has her shutting up, albeit momentarily.
No, she mustâve been right, it was all some grand trick. Some ridiculous, theatrical ploy heâd come up with just to deceive her. Sheâs not sure of the why yet- if he wanted to kill her, couldnât he have done it already? If he wanted to torture her, couldnât he have chained her up by now? Sheâs skeptical, but she would hate to admit that some part of her, deep, deep down, considers that he may not be lying to her.
Of course he must be lying, so she tries to shove that idea down.
âAnd why would I do such a thing like that?â She asks, her tone bored, but the wideness in her eyes as she awaited his answer didnât go unnoticed. Â
Sukuna unfolded his hands in order to push them into the pockets of Yujiâs pants. His grievance in wearing a sorcererâs uniform was obvious in the unsavory curl in his lips as he briefly glanced down at himself, but his attention returned to her just as quickly.
âA Binding Vow is a double sided contract,â He reminds her. âYou entered it willingly,â He tilts his head at her as he watches her process this information, before he tells her the full truth. âIn fact, you were the one who brought the idea to me, sweetheartâÂ
âDonât call me thatâ She mutters out quickly, not thinking twice about the consequences of scolding the King of Curses.
âItâs true,â Sukuna shrugs his shoulders with a lazy drag. âI almost didnât agree to it. But youâve always been⊠convincingâÂ
Sheâs not sure what he means, because the memories heâs recalling arenât shared- if theyâre real memories at all- and yet, she continues to lay her questions on thick.
âAnd why wouldnât I choose to remember all of this then, hm? If I chose to be reborn, over and over, why wouldnât I have wanted to remember?â Sheâs challenging him, and Sukunaâs enjoying it, even if it means that right now the distance she puts between them is further than before heâd found her due to her distrust in him.
History has repeated itself for thousands of years, but no event was as perfectly cyclical as she was to him. Time and time again he would find her, and in every lifetime, sheâd been his.
âYou wanted to,â He tells her. âThe vow took a bit of a different turn than expected. See, your soul didnât simply leap into a pre-existing person with each reincarnate. You were born again. Every part of your being, physical and⊠otherwise, was reborn. It actually makes it all the more difficult to find you, you knowâÂ
âSeems like a copoutâ She says, her expression unamused.
âWell go on then, what else do you want to ask me?â
âI have nothing,â She lies. âBecause Iâm not entertaining this any furtherâÂ
âFine, then,â To her surprise, Sukuna actually accepts her rejection- if you could call it that. âIâll give the brat his body back. But youâll know where to find me once you start to rememberâÂ
He leaves without a word, not even a mere wave, and itâs not until heâs gone that (y/n) wonders if she should be worried about him roaming the grounds of Jujutsu Tech, but nothing happens.
In fact itâs such a quiet night that the next morning everyone seems well rested and rejuvenated, all in good spirits and ready to take on the day. Everyone but her. And she canât stop her eyes from shifting towards Yuji every thirty seconds, always double checking the slits under his eyes, as if one of these times sheâd find them open and focused on her.
She canât get the image of Sukuna lounging so casually in that training room. Itâs hard when one of her closest friends shares his face, so even when sheâs not anxious about seeing that second set of eyes, her heart still skips a beat when Yujiâs eyes catch hers and he smiles politely.
Naturally, that skip in her heart was due to her nerves, and had nothing to do with the contents of her discussion with the curse inside of him.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
Sukuna gives (y/n) what he believes to be an abundant amount of time to let their past settle in. He wants her to process it all properly. He wants her to come to her senses and realize that there were no ulterior motives in his reveal.
He still makes the occasional crude comment from Yujiâs cheek, but while theyâre ever directed at her, she finds her posture straightening and her eyes trained on the skin where heâs materialized, always waiting for him to direct something her way. He doesnât. He hardly even looks at her- when sheâs looking, that is. While inside of his domain and perfectly hidden by Itadori Yuji, Sukuna spends as much of his time staring at her while he can. Some days, thereâs an intensity so strong that Yuji finds himself not-so-subtly staring at her too. Sukuna doesnât like this- if he had things his way then no one would lay there eyes on what was his- but letting Yuji sneak glances here and there was a small price to pay in order to make sure the pair remain close enough that Sukunaâs still able to have some sense of nearness to her.
Due to this silent period on his part, (y/n) decides against bringing Gojoâs attention to the situation. While she knows it hasnât just disappeared, because she just knows that it will be brought up again, she hopes that enough time passes that she can learn to brush it off as nonsense spewed from a bored curse.
It nags at her, despite her best efforts, she never allows herself to forget it completely. It crosses her mind every day, if not every minute she spends with Yuji. The way he stood, the way he spoke, it would play on a loop in her mind until she was sure it would drive her to the point of madness. It very well could have, already.
And one night, she decides to take the reins into her own hands, and she approaches it first.
After watching a partial movie in the common room, Megumi had long gone to bed and Nobara had crashed on a makeshift pile of blankets on the floor, (y/n) feels an anxiousness settle over her when she hears Yuji begin to snore and he, too, was just as knocked out as the rest of her friends.
She debates on it for a moment, her eyes sliding between the flickering television and the resting boy sitting beside her on the couch. Her index finger taps at an unkept pace against her knee, and she lets as many minutes pass as she could, just to be sure Yuji truly was asleep.
Then she turned her head fully, eyes focused on that mark under his face where Sukunaâs eyes were peacefully shut. Not sure of the inner workings on how the whole vessel thing worked, her only choice was to take a shot in the dark and hope it worked.
âI was going to tell Gojo about what you said, you knowâÂ
Her whisper is so soft, her voice cracks and gives on certain syllables. Even if he could hear her from in there, she wonders if he could have heard something so silently spoken.
Slowly, the eye opens, and it blinks a few times before it slides towards her. She wonders if he sleeps in there, or if every introduction light when he leaves his domain requires an adjustment.
And then, Yuijâs stirs, and (y/n) freezes up, watching as he twitches before his eyes begin to blink awake, as well. Fear spikes in her chest at the thought of getting caught talking to the curse inside of him while he slept.
But when his eyes fully open and an array of markings begin to paint across his features, she realizes itâs not Yuji. Itâs just his body. Thereâs a certain guilt that follows her relief from this. In no situation should she feel pleased to see Sukuna over Yuji.
âAm I supposed to be threatened by this?â He asks slowly, in a low tone of voice that she canât decide the cause of. Was he trying to be considerate of the sleeping sorcerer on the ground? Or was he just trying to be as menacing and mysterious as always?Â
He doesnât lift his head from where Yuji had been dozed off against the couch cushion, neck craned at an angle that couldnât be comfortable to sleep in for the entire night, but Sukunaâs not exactly looking out for the bratâs comfort. He could use a good crick in the neck or two.
âI donât think thereâs anything I could do to threaten you,â (y/n) replies honestly, the hush in her voice making her sound softer than she wouldâve liked. She doesnât need him thinking sheâs warming up to being in his presence, after all. âBut⊠would you kill me if I was?âÂ
âWhat do you think?âÂ
It comes out fast enough to be taken harshly, like he holds a disbelief in how idiotic she could be, but their conversation began with a whisper and it seems to be carried on that way. A lump forms in (y/nâs) throat as she holds eye contact with the darkened vermillion ones that stare back at hers.
The deep feeling sheâd buried, the one that told her maybe she trusted him whether she liked it or not, sparked and caught light, burned just a little bit brighter, caused just enough smoke for her to give some of her attention to.
If he truly wanted to kill her, he had millions of chances to do so before now. So she concludes that his goal wasnât to do so. Of course, this begs the question,
âWhat is it that you want, Sukuna?âÂ
Sheâs much calmer than the last time they spoke, he notices. Sheâs nervous, but not tense, and not nearly as defensive. Heâs not naive, he doesnât mistake this for trust, but he is pleased in her change in attitude.
An idle smile curls on his lips as his fixed gaze softens with familiarity.
Just like every time before now, she always, eventually, came around to him. It was like her curiosity couldnât keep her away, and her heart always won over her mind.
âI believe you already know the answer to thatâ He refrains from letting an old pet name fall from his tongue, a courtesy to her that he allows this once, just so she wouldnât flee from her seat next to him.
She hums, letting the sort-of-answer sit on her mind for a moment. An unknown feeling gnaws at her- or at least, a feeling she doesnât want to put a name to.
âWhy?â The word ghosts off of her lips, and even with the worried knot between her brows her eyes stay set on his. âWhy does it have to be me?âÂ
âYouâre looking at it all wrong,â Sukuna muses, his lower set of eyes rolling just slightly before he can help it. âIt doesnât have to be you- it just is. Itâs always been you, and it always will beâÂ
âBecause of the Binding Vow?â She questions, and he blinks at her, processing what she meant, before his brows furrow just a little bit, and he shakes his head.
âThe only clause to our vow is that you will always be reborn,â His tongue runs over his teeth as he tries to bite back the amusement he feels when realization dawns on her. âEverything after that comes from your own free will, sweetheartâÂ
âDonât call me thatâ She snaps at him, but itâs a mumble, hardly audible, hardly threatening. Sukuna purses his lips.
âLike I said, you were the one who came up with the contract,â He huffs. âI wouldâve never agreed to such a thing if you werenât so persistentâÂ
She perks up at that little comment, and suddenly turns in her seat, tucking her legs underneath her as she faces him. Sukunaâs barely moved at all, still slouched into the cushion in the position Yuji had fallen asleep in. His eyes follow her movements as she sets her elbow on the top of the furniture so she could prop her head in her hand. Her brows are drawn together again as she studies him.
âThen why tell me about it?â She blurts the question out.
âBecause Iâm the one burdened with the centuries of memoriesâ He replies without missing a beat, voice dry and expression unreadable. Heâs keeping it as neutral as possible, knowing her calculating eyes would see right through any sudden change, no matter how small.
âAnd you are?â She asks, and then in a softer voice, finishes the thought, âBurdened?âÂ
Sukuna blinks, slowly, before letting his gaze wander the soft and curious look on her face. He fights the urge to smile at the loveliness of it all- the twitch in her nose, the small pout in her lip- heâs the King of Curses and there should be no force on this earth that weakens him the way her gentle gaze focused on him does. Even after all this time, she is his achilles heel, she is his greatest burden, and she is the only thing he could ever truly, completely, want.
âYes,â His answer is quiet, and (y/n) lifts her head as she stares at him with her confusion. âThere exists no stronger shackles a being could trap me with the way you have,â
Her face falls, and sheâs silent for a long moment. With a dry throat and a mind too busy and overcrowded with thoughts, she wasnât sure what she was supposed to say. But that gnawing feeling was starting to make her chest ache, and the pounding of her heart in her ribcage was relentless.
âThereâs no greater curse I could bearâÂ
She hates the way he says these things so casually, without a strain in his expression or voice. She wonders if itâs because heâs done it so many times that itâs lost itâs value. Perhaps to him, this was just a part of the burden that was her existence, explaining these things to her was simply a chore that needed to be completed. She swallows a few times to ease the dryness of her throat.
âDoes it get old?âÂ
Sukuna smiles. It should trouble her- he knows that it unsettles Yuji- but if she feels unease itâs not shown.
âA thousand years of anything gets old,â He sighs, rolling his head over the cushion to stare up at the blank ceiling. âAnd Iâd hate to admit the things that never get oldâÂ
Itâs stupid. Itâs ridiculous and foolish and naive, but she smiles.
âWhat doesnât get old?â She asks, her curiosity blending with a sick sense of delight as she wonders just how many sides of Sukuna there really are.
He angles his head towards her again, narrowing his gaze as his lips twisted into a small smirk. It felt like his technique had the ability to see right through her- she wondered if he was really strong enough to do that.
âLast time we spoke, you said you wouldnât entertain this,â He reminds her. âWhatâs changed?âÂ
âNothing,â She murmurs back without a moment of hesitation. Â
Itâs the truth, and she has no reason to falsify an answer for him. Just as he had no reason to be so forward about their past. Even if she hadnât gathered much, this conversation was much different from their last, and she felt as though she would walk away with this one overwhelmed by all of this new information. Her trust in him is precarious, and could easily be destroyed by one wrong move, but right now, she canât see what reason she has not to take him at his word. Itâs not as if heâs asking for anything in return, itâs not as if she wonât return to her dorm for the night and likely not see or speak to him again for some time. So, she supposed, what was the harm in entertaining the idea just a little?
âNothing at allâ She finishes the thought softly, before turning her attention back to the forgotten movie still playing across the room. It was nearing the end, and sheâd missed enough of it to barely understand what was happening on screen now, but she didnât have any more questions for the King of Curses tonight, and he kept quiet as she watched the movie.
To her surprise, Sukuna did sit and watch the movie. Sheâs not sure how much of it he actually listened or paid attention to, but it was clear that he had not given Yuji his body back, and was still very much alert and in control.
(y/n) doesnât return to her dorm room until she finally sees Yuji asleep next to her, his face bare of any markings, and the extra eyelids under his eyes closed just as peaceful as his own.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
In the meantime, (y/n) didnât feel so anxious around Yuji anymore, which they were both grateful for. Yuji wasnât sure why the sudden chance came about, but he certainly wouldnât complain. He was just glad to have his friend acting her usual self again.
He had no idea of the few chats sheâd shared with the curse he hosted. While Sukuna wasnât necessarily hiding his interest in her, he wasnât forthright with the brat either. He didnât need the kid interfering with what he was building on here. It was slow moving like a trail of molasses but Sukuna was more patient than most people gave him credit for. He could let a lot of things go.
Not this, however.
All of Gojoâs students had been sent on a seemingly standard assignment. Odd, unexplainable disappearances had been happening in a clearing in the middle of the woods, enough so to alert jujutsu society and send a few sorcerers to the scene to investigate.
Upon arrival, there was an undeniable heaviness in the air. The field that the group of four found themselves in didnât stretch for miles, but it was no small clearing. It was a strange place for a curse to settle in and lure non-sorcerers towards. Curses often tucked themselves into hidden spots, within abandoned buildings or deep in the thick brush of the woods. Not a clearing of grass and wild daisies.
The entire situation was odd, it didnât sit right in anyoneâs mind as they went their separate ways to scour the area for any insight on what was happening here. It didnât take long for something to turn up.
A curse that had to have been a First Grade, with a large, sharp toothed grin and gouged out eyes, materialized in the clearingâs center, and as soon as it clocked this eveningâs prey as jujutsu sorcerers, it seemed to go into a mad state. (y/nâs) not sure if it possesses great speed or the ability to teleport when itâs suddenly before her. All sheâs able to do in that amount of time is lift her weapon into an offensive position, sheâs not even given the time to drive it forward in an attack before suddenly, sheâs no longer on the ground.
She comes to mid air, just before she hits the ground and rolls a few times before her senses kick in and her hands brace themselves against the ground. She can faintly hear her friends calling for her in their shock, but itâs distant. Her head is spinning too fast for her to lift it to see just how far the curse had thrown her.
A few coughs erupt from her throat before she even tells her body to do so, brought on by the hit to her chest once sheâs lifted herself up enough to relieve the pressure from the ground. Her arms are trembling from the adrenaline and a few drops of blood splatter from her mouth, but once sheâs sat up enough, she drags the sleeve of her uniform over her mouth to dry the blood, and she finally gets a good look at where she is.
Sheâs been thrown clear out of the field, and she considers herself lucky that her body hadnât been halted by a tree, and instead tumbled to the ground. Being thrown directly into one of the large oaks sheâs surrounded by couldâve been fatal if sheâd hit it just right, or at the very least she couldâve broken her ankle. With a rushed assessment she decides nothing feels broken, and therefore she can grab her weapon and-Â
Her weapon is nowhere near her. She scrambles to her feet, her breaths heavy and irregular as she searches around the grass, looking for the large blade sheâd had in her hands less than a minute ago. Â
It had only been a minute, right? She hadnât blacked out, had she?
Realizing there was no use wasting her time looking for a weapon now, she pushes herself to break into a sprint back towards the clearing. Her friends are blurry images moving about, trying to attack the larger blurry images that fends off their attacks with little struggle. She concludes this when she begins to hear the yelps and grunts of her fellow sorcerers, and yet the curse doesnât seem to struggle at all.
Just when her vision begins to clear and sheâs preparing herself to rejoin the fight with only her cursed technique and her fists, she sees the curse grab Megumi by the leg, and soon after heâs getting thrown into the air just as she did. His name is torn from her raw throat in an instant- but Megumi is more prepared to be airborne than she was, drawing his hands together to summon Nue to catch him.
Relief is short lived, and soon Megumi finds himself instructing Nue to catch Nobara and Yuji when shortly after, theyâre being thrown as well. Nueâs a quick shikigami, but itâs only strong enough to carry one person at a time before itâs energy starts to deplete, and the curse keeps at itâs movements, chuckling the three of them into the air before they can land an attack on them on their decline. Yuji tries, using Black Flash on his descent in the hopes of striking it where it hurts, but the curse manages to catch him in a tight fist before chucking him again.
(y/nâs) still keeping an eye out for her weapon when she grows nearer to the fight, seeing as no one elseâs techniques have caused any real damage yet, her cursed tool of a sword could be quite handy right about now.
She was hoping that with itâs attention focused on the other three, she could attack it from behind, and drive it more towards the clearing again. With how much movement and tossing it had done, it had driven them all deeper into the woods, which made it harder to land attacks, but had been good coverage for (y/n) to sneak up in her approach.
To her disadvantage, she hadnât expected there to be a pair of large eyes on the back of itâs head. In the dark of the night she hadnât noticed them until theyâd opened and landed on her instantaneously. It mustâve sensed her sneaking around behind it.
Sheâs quicker in her movements this time, dodging itâs large hand before it could grab onto her, but it outsmarts her and snatches her up in the other. A yelp sounds from her when it squeezes harder than the last time, her air supply cut off just as sheâd tried to take in a large breath, making her sputter and cough as it raised her in the air again. A sense of dread and failure washes over her when she realizes itâs going to throw her again. Whatever this curseâs deal was, it had a thing for throwing itâs victims around to torture them.
And torture it was- as this time when sheâs launched into the air, itâs a clear throw over the trees. Itâs harder than before, and faster. The cool air cuts over her face in sharp streams, bringing tears to her eyes before she could comprehend what would come of her fall. She could brace herself, but as she gets a watery glance at whatâs below, she knows that shielding her face would provide no comfort to her fall.
Just past the cluster of oak trees is a steep overhang. Rock and the roots of old trees jutting out some thirty feet to the ground. Â
This is why her fall felt so long. A sharp gasp escapes her, and when her inhale gets caught in her throat, she wonders if this is the last breath sheâll ever take.
When she shuts her eyes to protect them from the harsh wind, a wetness spreads down her cheeks. In a last ditch effort at self preservation, her arms brace over her face, and she buries herself into them, not wanting to see the last thing that would break her fall. Hopefully she wouldnât feel it, either.
Her jaw clenched tightly as her heart began to race faster, expecting the crash to come soon.
The sensation isnât as expected. There is no slam against stone or cold ground that knocks the wind out of her. Instead somethingâs wrapped around her middle, and out of worry that the curse had grabbed her in order to throw her again, she withdraws her head from her arms in a jolt.
Itâs not the curse thatâs caught her mid-fall.
Itâs Sukuna.
With one arm wrapped around her back and the other around her shoulders, his large hand braces the back of her head to keep her tucked close. Theyâre still falling, but the sensation feels different like this. Itâs almost as if heâs carrying her to the ground, his posture as natural as it would be if he were standing there now.
Wide, watery eyes blink up at him in astonishment when she fully registers what was happening.
âYouâre alright, Iâve got you, sweetheartâÂ
If it werenât for the rawness in her throat, she mightâve scolded him for the pet name, but her voice was taken away from her as soon as sheâd been heaved into the sky a second time.
She doesnât even process the way sheâs gripping onto him until he lands on the ground, holding her up just a moment longer before carefully setting her on her feet. Her hands are holding onto the sleeves of Yujiâs uniform in fists so tight her knuckles are white, and her hands are trembling.
The others are nowhere in sight, or at least, she canât see them right now. Her mind is so shaken up she doesnât actually look. Her eyes donât tear away from the stunning red of Sukunaâs once. She doesnât even blink- hence the continued downpour of tears. From the wind and her acceptance of a brutal death, her emotions were slowly catching up to reality.
Her chest is heaving but thereâs no relief in feeling like sheâs caught her breath. Her heart is pounding so hard that it makes her ribs ache, but that very well could be the bruising from her previous fall setting in. Her mouth moves but it takes a few tries for any real words to come out, and when her voice does come back to her, she doesnât say much.
âS- Sukuna-âÂ
He silences her before she could even try to say something else. Prying her hands off of his arms and placing them at her sides, even though thereâs still tremors in her muscles.
âI only have a minute,â He tells her, in a gravely serious tone that sheâs never heard from him before. She blinks her wide eyes, leftover tears getting stuck on her lashes. âItâs been handledâÂ
He doesnât say anything else, but he doesnât get the chance to before his posture begins to weaken, followed by his eyelids twitching and the marks beginning to fade away.
Gasping, (y/n) surges forward, grabbing Yuji by the shoulders before he could stumble and fall. His eyes roll and blink a few times before he feels in control of his body again. Soon after his posture straightens, and then itâs Yuji whoâs looking worriedly down at (y/n).
Sheâs close, very close. Her hands are gripping onto his shoulders for dear life. He can feel her panting against his chin as her worried eyes scan over his features.
Yujiâs disoriented, like maybe heâs just woken up from a dream, or maybe heâs just woken up inside of a dream, and heâs not exactly sure how to voice this concern. She makes it harder on him when one of her hands leaves his shoulder in order to reach for his cheek.
Itâs so affectionate, the way she reaches for his face and presses her palm against it, that Yuji finds his skin heating up and a blush appearing over his cheeks before he could will himself not to. Sheâs never behaved this way with him before. He could only recall casual touches that occurred during training, or maybe a brush of her fingers when she handed him something, but nothing as intentional as this. Â
And sheâs certainly never looked at him like that either. He canât place his finger on it, but it makes his stomach churn to meet her eyes.
âUh, (y/n)?â He mumbles out her name, and he finds himself doing a quick sweep of her, assessing her for a major injury. But sheâs standing just fine, and he canât see any blood. This had to be a head injury, right?Â
He asks himself that question once more then the pad of her thumb brushes under his eye. She faintly traces the incision of the closed eyelid just below his eyelashes. Yuji holds his breath, but heâs not sure who heâs doing it for. (y/n), whose eyes are glossing over as sheâs gazing at the wrong eyes, which remained closed, or Sukuna, who Yuji was sure she was trying to reach to now.
And then she leans even closer, and the breath heâd been holding is forced out of him from the closing distance between them. Her hands remain where they are, on his shoulder with an iron grip and against his cheek with the gentleness of a butterfly landing there.
On instinct Yuji finds his eyes darting down to her lips, but heâs positive sheâs not going to kiss him- right? She wouldnât do such a thing on a whim, not like this, not now when theyâve barely completed their assignment. Not to mention their friends arenât too far away- where are Nobara and Megumi anyways? Yujiâs thoughts are racing as fast as his heart as he struggles to figure out what to do as she grows nearer.
Before he has to come up with a decision, (y/n) stops, and Yuji swallows the lump in his throat out of relief that she wasnât leaning in to kiss him. The ride home would have been so awkward.
âThank youâ She breathes out the words, her thumb stroking over the spot on his cheek one more time before she finally drops her hand, and she pulls away from Yuji completely.
He blinks at her in disbelief, waiting for his heartbeat to calm down, which it does the further she steps away.
âWhat happened?â He asks, louder than he means to, but when he finally collects his thoughts and processes what just happened, he canât help but blurt out the question.
The pair begin to make their way back to the clearing, both realizing that the First Grade curse was gone, clearly exorcized with the amount of purple goo coating the surrounding plants and trees. They donât discuss it right away, but they both have an inkling on how it was taken care of.
âSukuna saved my lifeâÂ
Yuji wants to ask more questions, but when he turns towards her to do so, he can tell that sheâs not ready to talk about it. Her features had hardened, and she didnât meet his eyes as they walked.
He knows heâs put off this conversation one too many times already⊠but once again he finds himself biting his tongue as they catch up with their other friends.
Something tells him that heâll have to bring it up soon, though. Because the King of Curses wouldnât save just anyoneâs life twice- much less a sorcerer. And he has a gut feeling that (y/n) knows more than sheâs letting on.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
This time, itâs only a few days since the last assignment when (y/n) crosses paths with Sukuna again. Well, this time around, he came to her.
Sheâs just slid her bookmark between the pages sheâd decided to pause on tonight when thereâs a knock at her door. With a quiet huff- she was just about to go to sleep after all- but before she can call for her visitor to come in, the door slides open and heâs inviting himself right on.
âYu-! Sukuna?âÂ
The initial scolding tone she takes drops as soon as she realizes heâs not who she thought. Her voice softens around his name in a way that it shouldnât, but that she canât help. She sits up a little further in her bed, brows furrowing as he slides the door shut behind him.
âYou canât just walk in hereâÂ
âI knockedâÂ
âOkay well⊠well you have to wait for me to actually invite you inâ She mumbles out, only to be met with a scoff and a humorless chuckle. But when her frown deepens, he sighs.
âFine, Iâll knock for longer next timeâ He grunts, before he begins to wander around her room. He glances over the few things littered on her desk- a picture frame of her and her friends, an open and neglected textbook, a pair of bracelets sheâd forgotten to put away- he almost forgets why heâd come in to begin with.
âUm⊠did you need something?â (y/n) asks after a minute of him wandering around and eyeing all of her things.
âYouâre freaking out the brat,â Sukuna says casually, picking up a little porcelain cat on her shelf. His eyes narrow as he turns the small thing around in his hands, as if trying to decipher itâs purpose. âHe wonât stop asking about you nowâÂ
âWhat?â (y/n) pushes the covers off her lap, moving to the end of the bed to sit a little closer to him. It doesnât matter if sheâs quiet, itâs only the two of them in the room, but she feels a sudden need to lower her voice anyways. âWhat do you mean heâs freaking out?âÂ
He turns to her then, the figurine still in his hands. The tiniest of smiles purses on her lips at how silly a tiny cat looks in his large and tattooed hands. Despite how easily he could crush it to dust, his hold on it is gentle.
âI just thought that you should be aware, you know, that eventually youâll have to decide if you want to explain yourself to your friends or notâÂ
Her stomach twists and turns into dozens of little knots. The King of Curses was stopping by her room late into the night just for this? She shouldnât be surprised, because she knew his motives, but still, she blinked at him with wide eyes.
âYou havenâtâŠ?â The question trails off as she shakes her head at him, unsure of how to word it just right.
âI donât like the idea of the brat knowing all of my business,â Sukuna hums, finally setting the cat back down on her shelf. âYouâve always had a knack for collecting useless thingsâ He comments, and the words are harsh but his tone is nothing but amused.
âSo⊠you think I should talk to Yuji?â She asks, and Sukuna lets his shoulders rise and fall in disinterest.
âIf thatâs what you wantâ He says, but it doesnât feel considerate. (y/n) frowns.
âDonât you think heâll be⊠upset?âÂ
âWith you?âÂ
She nods.
âYouâve done nothing wrong. If anything, the brat would only worry about you. Seeing as he despises me, and allâÂ
âYou donât exactly make it easy to feel otherwiseâ (y/n) mumbles, and her words hang in the air for a few long moments. Sheâs not sure if she means the insinuation behind them or if itâs just a coincidence, but she doesnât try to backtrack to explain herself.
âYes, well, he certainly cares more for you than he does for me. Too much so. Some boundaries might do you some good, you knowâÂ
âBoundaries?â
âYes, boundaries. He almost kissed youâÂ
Her eyes nearly bulge out of her head before her brows furrow and she scoffs in disbelief.
âWhat? What are you even talking about?âÂ
Sukuna tucks his hands into his pockets, looking all the more out of place in her room at this hour.
âDuring your little gratitude session on your last assignment,â He says, his lips curling into a deep frown. âYou got a bit too close and his brat-mind went a bit haywire. You donât need to be so affectionate with him, you know. A plain thank you would have sufficed-âÂ
âI wasnât being affectionate with him,â She snaps back, and Sukuna raises a brow at the display. âI was thanking you, asshole. You pretty much saved my life?â She says it like sheâs trying to jog his memory. âI wasnât trying to make a move on Yuji, and Iâm sure he knew that too. I donât control his thoughts, he can think whatever he wants, doesnât mean itâs happeningâÂ
Sukuna steps closer to where she sat before bending down to match her height. Sheâs still frowning, clearly annoyed with this interaction, but she had yet to ask him to leave, and he has a feeling she wonât.
âSo if the brat had plucked up the nerve to make a move, you wouldâve pushed him away?â He asks, and heâs smirking, almost as if he wants her to say otherwise. Her eyes narrow, not understanding what his mind games were getting at this time.
âPolitely, yes,â She answers, shaking her head at him. âWhy does this matter? Last I checked, in this lifetime, Iâm not some cowering wife for you to boss aroundâÂ
Sukuna laughs at that, genuinely laughs. He stands back up to his full height and throws his head back and cackles so loud that (y/n) can only pray Nobara doesnât wake up from next door. She might not need to whisper to speak with him, but the walls werenât exactly soundproof either.
âSweetheart, youâve never been a cowering wife,â He tells her once his laughter died down. âA wife, perhaps, but never some submissive weak minded mortalâ He adds.
âSo we have been married?âÂ
She asks him with such peculiarity, and it makes him chuckle again. She sounds as though this has been the strangest thing heâs revealed thus far, and he canât help but find humor in it.
âWe haveâ He answers.
(y/n) shifts her position, pulling her legs towards her chest and staring up at him expectantly, waiting for a continuation that wouldnât come. Sukuna merely stares at her with mild confusion.
âWell?â She asks, tilting her head forward. âDid we get married every time?âÂ
He smirks.
âIâve told you that you created a Binding Vow in order to be with me across centuries of eras. In the grand scheme of things, donât you think marriage is a little⊠bleak?âÂ
(y/n) shrugs a shoulder, resting her arms atop her knees as she gazes back at him curiously.
âItâs bleak in this lifetime,â She murmurs back. âNot to me, at leastâÂ
Sukuna hums, before shaking his head.
âYou never changeâÂ
âDo I really?â She presses again. âFor the last⊠thousand years⊠am I really the same?âÂ
Sukuna ponders for a moment. This was a common question of hers, and each time, he struggled to answer it.
âYou really want to know?âÂ
She doesnât say anything, but she pats her hand against the space on the bed next to her. Sukunaâs gaze shifts to it momentarily, before looking back at her. After a moment, he takes a seat.
âYou are almost completely the same in every lifetime Iâve found you in,â He explains. âYouâre always stubborn, you never make it easy. But you always⊠come around,â He turns to her. âLike nowâÂ
âYou think Iâm coming around?â She asks, a skeptical look in her eye that makes him smirk. He leans forward as though the next part he shares is a grave secret.
âYou never want to admit it, but you always have a soft spot for meâÂ
(y/n) raises a brow back at him in defiance.
âI think youâve got that turned around,â She murmurs. âI think the King of Curses has a soft spot for me. And I think heâs making it everyoneâs problemâÂ
He chuckles quietly, his gaze sweeping over the gentle features of her face.
âI think the feelings you have for me in every beginning come from your soulâs memory,â He tells her, raising a hand, and gently pressing the pad of his thumb against the center of her forehead. The sudden touch makes her freeze at first, but eventually she relaxes as the rest of his fingers lay in her hair. âI havenât quite figured it out yet, I donât know how it is that youâre never able to keep your memories,â He tilts his head as he ponders it for a moment, his eyes focused on where heâs touched her head. âBut I think deep down, you know that you trust meâÂ
(y/n) doesnât have a witty comeback for that one. Sheâs still reeling from the warmth of his touch, and the weight of his words. But she feels obligated to say something when his gaze met hers again.
âI never said I believed you in all this, you knowâ She whispers weakly.
âYou donât believe me?â He murmurs back at her, his voice a low rumble as his hand starts to fall from her head. He doesnât remove his touch, he lets the back of his finger trace along her temple, before slowly moving down her jaw. Sukuna doesnât seem displeased in her words. If anything, he seems intrigued by them. âYou know, you almost look the same in every life, tooâÂ
âI do?â She asks, just as his fingers fall still against her cheek.
Sukuna hums, and nods his head.
âThe last I saw you, your hair was different,â He tells her. âIt was longer, to about⊠here,â With his free hand, he gently touches her waist, and the way she tenses doesnât go unnoticed. âYou would wear it in all sorts of different styles. Pretty braids and⊠whatever our servants would desire to do that day,â Her eyes widen at his use of the word servants, but Sukuna glides over it. âBut that was a few hundred years ago, of course. It would all be outdated now,â He drops his hand from her waist, but the other remains against her cheek, his touch ghosting over it. âNot that it wouldnât still be exquisiteâÂ
Her eyes shift between his, trying to decipher the emotion they hold. She canât tell if heâs amused or sorrowful. Was he disappointed that she couldnât remember?
âThis is why Iâm the one who doesnât believe youâ He murmurs after a few beats pass.
(y/nâs) brows draw together just slightly, just enough to pinch the skin between them.
âWhat do you mean?â She asks, her voice betraying her as it shakes just a little.
âBecause you look at me like thatâ He says, nodding at her slightly.
(y/n) blinks, doe eyes resembling the glass of the porcelain cat heâd just been mocking. Her lips are parted, formed in the smallest of pouts as she gazes up at him, that look unrelenting.
She tilts forward, her gaze flickering over his face leisurely, mapping out the black markings, and all the small details that make him so different from Yuji. The way he insists on pushing the bangs out of his face, the broader jaw, the sharper canine that she only notices when he laughs or smiles- which is quite rare. Sheâs admiring him so openly that Sukunaâs not sure what to do under such heavy surveillance, so he just sits there and allows her to stare.
But eventually, she sighs, and drops her legs from her chest before she crawls across her bed, moving to get under the covers again. Sukuna remains in his spot at the end, watching her without an expression as she settles into her pillow.
âDoes it disturb Yujiâs rest when you take over like this?â She asks quietly as she presses her cheek into the soft comfort of her pillow.
No, the bratâs completely dozed off, thatâs why he could take over like this. Itâs what he wants to say, but he doesnât.
âIâll be sure it doesnâtâ He says as he stands, and walks around the bed, facing the side sheâs just moved to. He crouches down to meet her eye level again, and (y/n) moves a little closer to the edge towards him.
âOkay, good,â She whispers.
She blames her exhaustion when she reaches out to him, the tips of her fingers barely prodding at the dark ink that follows the sharp curve of his jaw. Her eyes follow it as she traces it down to his chin, almost painfully slow. It takes every ounce of restraint for him not to lean into the touch.
âI donât know what you expect me to do, Sukuna,â She murmurs, her fingers lingering on his chin, her eyes slowly meeting his. âI⊠I canâtâŠâÂ
She canât even say the words. She hardly wants to be thinking about them. But Sukuna knows her better than anyone whoâs ever walked this earth, and he nods back at her in understanding before she could try to finish the thought.
âIâve never expected anything of you,â He murmurs, before reaching up to pull her hand from his face, gently closing his fingers around her own as he moves it away. âYou have been the greatest love of my life whether youâre able to remember or not,â He tells her, and she listens to him with her full attention. âAnd whether you believe me or not, you still will be,â
Thereâs the smallest of squeezes to her hand with his words, and a lump begins to build up in her throat.
âYou can ask more questions another time, alright? You should get some sleep, sweetheartâÂ
She gives him a faint nod, her eyes already feeling too heavy to keep open when she feels her blanket being dragged over her shoulders. Distantly, her mind registers that the King of Curses is tucking her into bed, but sheâs too tired now to comment on it.
Thereâs another squeeze to her fingers, followed by a hesitation, and then the soft, unmistakable pair to two lips pressing against her knuckles. Itâs not a lingering kiss, and itâs featherlight, over as soon as it began, and again, (y/n) keeps her eyes shut and doesnât say anything.
Sukuna lays her hand down against her blanket with the gentleness of maneuvering a newborn. She hears him walking away towards her door.
âGoodnight, SukunaâÂ
Itâs the softest call, but itâs enough to make him pause at the door and glance back at her. She still canât look at him- sheâs afraid sheâll burst into tears if she does, although she canât quite explain the heavy emotion thatâs bringing the tears to her eyes to begin with.
âGoodnight, my loveâÂ
Itâs murmured so quickly before heâs hastily exiting her room that she couldâve missed it altogether, but she doesnât. Her hand curls into her sheets as she pulls it close to her chest as she lets tonightâs conversation sink into her mind.
The truth was, she did trust him. She did believe him. And she was pretty sure this was the case for the entire time sheâs known him. Sheâs pretty sure this was unavoidable.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
Everythingâs blurry when she first comes to.
And everything hurts.
She tries to move, but it only results in a strangled whine being pulled from her throat as soon as she tries.
Sheâs on the ground. Itâs covered in rubble. Thereâs glass pricking her arms- or maybe the gravel was just that sharp. Thereâs a warmth pooling under the side sheâs laying on. Likely blood.
Another groan when she at least tries to get on her back in order to assess the bleeding wound on her left side, but just as sheâs about to roll her body weight, she catches something in her vision.
Yuji?
Heâs slumped over against a wall, and he looks no better than she feels. Covered in bruises and blood that may or may not be his own- whatever went down was ugly.
She blinks a few times to focus her vision a little better. She tries to call for him but her throat is raw and all that comes out is another whine. Either way, heâs clearly passed out and wouldnât have responded. The fight mustâve taken everything out of him.
Oh, the fight, it slowly starts coming back to her in flashing images. That Blood Manipulation Guy. He was rough. Sheâs not sure how they got out of it alive- sheâs not sure how they got to this point at all. Her mindâs still foggy and the only thing thatâs easy to focus on is the shooting pains in her body.
That is, until thereâs the sound of clicking heels and hushed, feminine voices. (y/n) hadnât even realized her eyes had slipped shut again until those two appeared, and she peeks her eyes open to see two girls whispering between themselves as they crouch before Yujiâs body.
They look harmless enough, no older than her, and not to mention they look anxious. So nothing about her blurry assumptions about them triggered any warning flags.
That was, until they pulled out a bag of fingers. Unmistakable fingers.
She needs to get up now and she knows it. She pleads with her body to move, wishing the throbbing hot pain in her left leg would disappear just long enough for her to get to Yuji, to stop these girls from what theyâre about to do.
Itâs unclear how much time lapses before she notices a third figure at Yujiâs body. A curse. And he seems to have a few fingers of his own, too.
No, her voice cries, but itâs only in her head. You canât do that.
Sheâs never felt so weak, her fingers barely twitching against the concrete when sheâs trying to tell her body to get up. Sheâs sure that means none of the rest of her limbs are moving. Sheâs trapped there.
Her heart is pounding, her breaths are labored, dread consumes her so completely sheâd throw up if there was anything left in her stomach.
Itâs tough to count just how many fingers are shoved down Yujiâs throat before the curse is clamping his large hand over his mouth and forcing his head back in order to make the unconscious boy swallow every last one. With tears in her eyes she knows itâs more than whatâs safe, and thereâs a turmoil in her gut as she doesnât know how to feel about what comes next.
With her heart pounding in her ears she canât tell what exactly the fighting amongst the curse users and the curse himself was about, but suddenly only the cycloptic curse remains standing over Yujiâs body. Heâs grunting and growling, still pushing the boyâs head back. (y/n) wonders if heâs swallowed all those fingers by now.
These three were idiots. But they were idiots stronger than her, and even if sheâd had the strength to stop them, it wouldâve been futile.
However, now, they hardly made her list of things to be afraid of in Shibuya.
The blood thatâs pooled under Yujiâs body startles her- when did that get there? But after blinking a few times to clear her sight and focus just a fraction of a bit better, she realizes itâs not human blood at all, but that awful purple essence that leaves a stench behind.
âIâll give you one second,â Comes the familiar voice that doesnât belong to the body it erupts from. âMoveâÂ
In a flash, the small crowd around him is a good ten feet back. (y/n) could almost laugh if her throat wasnât bloodied raw. They chose to wake him up with all those fingers, and now theyâre visibly afraid of what they summoned themselves? They truly had no idea what they were in for now.
It only takes one glance towards her before Sukunaâs suddenly before her beaten form, crouching down to assess the damages.
âNow, which one of these insolent freaks did this to you?â He asks, tilting his head as his Reverse Cursed Technique took effect over her wounds with haste. âIâll start thereâÂ
âN-none of them,â She stammers out, even though itâs the truth.
For the first time, she considers that she should be afraid of Sukuna. The other three are still trembling even from their distance, barely letting themselves breathe in his presence.
All sheâs ever felt towards Sukuna is irritation, perhaps mild vexation, but mostly he just confused her. But now, she can feel the abundant amount of cursed energy wafting off of him, and despite his history in sparing her life and taking an interest in her, she briefly wonders if this is the moment he changes his mind.
The thought passes in a matter of seconds, when a pair of hands are gently aiding her in sitting upright. Even with his technique healing her wounds, there are still aches and pains that make her wince. Shards of glass falling from her skin as the healing tissue forces them out, bruises that still sting when she moves too quickly before their nasty colors disappear completely.
And Sukuna regards her with an expression sheâs never seen before, but it makes her heart lurch in her chest. Itâs concern. His brows are knotted, and his eyes are scanning over her repeatedly to make sure no injury was left on her body. This was followed by sizable hands mapping over her carefully just to double check.
She should be afraid, but sheâs not. Â
In fact, as soon as those vermillion eyes return to hers, all she can feel is relief.
And she doesnât think twice before sheâs darting forward on achy knees, her arms wrapping around his neck and the rest of her body colliding into his so harsh it knocks the wind out of her for a moment, but she doesnât mind panting to catch her breath again. She embraces Sukuna as tightly as she can, as though heâs the only savior sheâs ever known, an angel painted in pure white rather than the corrupted being he truly was.
Sukuna has half a mind to grab her by the neck and remove her from him with a snarl about how her injuries were still healing, but instead he wraps an arm around her, his hand smoothing over the tattered back of her uniform.
She could only imagine what the three at the end of the corridor were thinking, watching the King of Curses embrace such a weak sorcerer.
âYou understand now, donât you sweetheart?â He asks her quietly, and she manages a small nod against his chest, before her hands tighten into fists at the red hood that lies between his shoulder blades. âItâs been a rough night, hasnât it?â He muses, and when (y/n) doesnât give him a response this time, he uses his free hand to pry her face away from his shirt, hooking her chin under his finger so that sheâd meet his eyes.
Rough night didnât even begin to cover what sheâd been put through, what was she supposed to say?Â
âItâs alright now, my love, Iâm here,âÂ
Those words from him shouldnât bring her the amount of comfort that they do. The tears in her eyes begin to drip down her cheeks. Sukunaâs smiling as he brushes them away, and despite her better judgment, she leans into the touch, seeking out even more comfort. He chuckles at the sight, but humors her as he cups the side of her face in his palm, cradling her head with the gentleness of holding a flower by itâs petals.
She wonât admit it, not now anyways, but she knows deep down that there is no force on this earth greater than the swell of love in her chest right now. Itâs something sheâs not sure should ever be voiced, but she has a feeling that Sukuna will find a way to draw it out of her anyways. Just as heâs made her trust him, just as heâs made her confide in him, heâs bound to find a way into drawing the confession out of her as well.
Perhaps itâs her own fault, too. Hiding the way a part of her believed everything heâs ever said to her, hiding the way it made her feel to know that she was so loved by a force so strong and unstoppable that heâd scour the earth after every lifetime in order to find her again.
I think the feelings you have for me in every beginning come from your soulâs memory, heâd said. But I think deep down, you know that you trust me.
She stares at him now knowing all of this to be true, and Sukuna can almost see every thought in her dilated eyes, swallowed nearly whole by dark pupils as she clings to him now.
With a brush of his lips to the crown of her head, he makes her a promise that sheâll live through this horrid night yet.
She still holds onto him when he stands, and he lifts her up with ease, cradling her to his chest like she was merely a small and frightened child. The only unease she felt now was knowing what fates were in store for the three at the end of the hall, who Sukuna had set his sights on first.
âNow, letâs take this one on together, sweetheart, shall we?âÂ
Her own fate was still unknown to her, but sealed in place long ago.
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
[ cause i love to love to love to love you // i hate to hate to hate to hate you ]
â©âË.ââŸââșââ§
xoxo ~ jordie
a/n: thinkin about writing a snippet of their past live(s) or something. i wanted to add something like that to this fic but i wanted the reader to feel unsure if they really could trust him soooo it went a diff route. idk don't hold me to it. i'm just a girl.
#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#ryomen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#ryomen sukuna imagine#sukuna imagine#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen imagine
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The Prophecy | J. Hughes
Summary | Youâve given up on love until love hits you in the face (with a door)Â
Warnings | Unedited, one curse word, (really bad) angst
Author's Note | I finally finished all of my finals! So that means more regular stories so send in requests! This is also part of my 100 follower celebration!
Masterlist
You never expected to feel so lost in a city you lived in for most of your adult life. You and your college boyfriend broke up after five years of dating. You met early in your freshman year and were stuck together like glue. He made you feel like you caught lightning in a bottle, so much so you were willing to do anything for him. So many of your friends thought you were going to get married and he had been hinting at it since you graduated a year ago.
You were blindsided when he said that he didnât think you two should be together anymore and basically kicked you out of your shared apartment. Luckily Hannah, your best friend, offered to stay in her apartment until you could find one.Â
All you could think was that it was your fault. Why else would he end it so suddenly? He gave you little to no explanation. Even though you were still so young you felt like you would never find a love like his. It was like someone was betting against you. All you ever wanted was someone who wanted your company.
After a couple of weeks you were able to find a new apartment in a different part of town and you never felt so excited or rejuvenated. Hannah was trying to convince you to start dating again, but you told her it was too soon. You were scared someone was betting against your love life and you didnât want to risk it yet.Â
Little did you know when you went to check out a new pizza place you would run into the cutest guy youâve ever seen. It wasnât a normal meeting though he almost gave you a concussion by hitting you with the door.
âIâm so sorry, are you ok? How many fingers am I holding up?â The stranger asks as he stares into your eyes looking for any signs of injury. Before you respond you notice his really tall friend recovering the pizza off the ground.
âIâm fine thank- why are you moving your finger in front of my eyes?â You ask confused about what he is doing.
âIâm trying to make sure you donât have a concussion. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell,â he said, still doing some concussion protocol? Youâre not too certain what is happening honestly.
âI think Iâm ok I really appreciate it though,â you say finally getting the opportunity to stand up as he backs up. You go to move inside before he stops you.
âWait whatâs your name?â
âY/n,â You tell him before turning around to enter the shop and order your much deserved pizza.
Later you meet up with Hannah to debrief about both of your weeks. You almost forgot to tell her about the mystery pizza man until she mentions dating to you again.
âHannah, I'm not going on a date right now. But there was this really cute guy who almost gave me a concussion the other night when I went to get pizza,â You say nonchalantly.
âWhat? Y/n why didnât you tell me? Whatâs his name? Are you going out with him?â She babbles as you roll your eyes.
âNo to all of those questions. I felt like such a fool because of my ex and Iâm not doing that again.â You say with a shrug. Living alone has really forced you to think about your relationship and you realized that the end of your relationship was most likely your fault, and you definitely do not want to get into another relationship until you figure out how to stop it from happening again.
After dinner you and Hannah decide to hit a club that was only semi full until the hockey crowd filtered in after the game. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits though so the Devils must have won.
Little did you know is that your pizza mystery man was currently walking in the club with some of his teammates to celebrate. Hannah was a pretty big fan and spotted some of them almost instantly.
âOh my gosh the Devils are here we should go say hey. Maybe you can find a date,â She wasnât going to take no for an answer so you just let her pull you by the wrist.
Hannah finally stops when sheâs face to face with Nico, who you only recognize because of all of his ads around town. Before you can introduce yourself someone calls out your name.
âY/n,â Your mystery man. He says it shocked like he didnât expect to see you again.
âYou know Jack Hughes?â Hannah whispers into your ear. You just ignore her because maybe it's fate? Maybe itâs a cruel joke?
You donât even know what to say, youâre so shocked by the turn of events. You never wouldâve thought youâd meet him again. You thought your near concussion experience would be the last you see of him.
âIâm Jack by the way,â He says and youâre drawn in by his voice and his eyes that havenât left yours.
âI think you owe me a drink for almost killing me,â You say, shocking yourself.
âIn my defense I didnât try to give you a concussion, my brother was distracting me,â He says leading you to the bar. You order your regular drink and he does the same before asking you if youâd want to talk for a bit. Â
The two of you talked for what seemed like minutes until Hannah came to find you to let you know that sheâs leaving. You check the time and realize you should probably leave as well.Â
âI had an amazing night thanks for keeping me company,â You say getting up to leave.
âWait let me give you my number,â Jack says standing up and you nod, handing him your phone.
You walk Hannah home because youâre much more sober than she is and all she can talk about is that you know Jack Hughes.
âYou should go out with him, he's so cute and sweet.â
âHannah Iâm not dating right now and you know that,â You say, leading her to her door.
âYeah I know but you just deserve to be happy, and I really think he would be perfect for you,â She said, drawing out her syllables. You say goodnight and make your way home which luckily isnât too far from her apartment.
The next day you decide to listen to Hannah and reach out to Jack. You try texting him telling him that you had a great time talking to him last night, but the message never gets delivered. All you can do is feel idiotic. It wasnât fate to run into him twice (physically or not). You feel so childish thinking maybe this was your chance.Â
You blame Hannah for getting your hopes up to think that maybe something could happen. You were starting to think that maybe it was some cruel joke fate was playing on you. You were almost compelled to pray to change your prophecy, but then you just started feeling even more insane. But, there must be a way to change it, right?
Later in the week you decide to work out of a cafe nearby and feel like the universe is playing some sick joke on you. As you look up your eyes meet with a pair of blue eyes staring you down. You smile shyly at the hockey player not knowing how to respond to someone who never responded to your text. Jack took that as an invitation to join you.
âYou never called,â He says as he sits down.
âI texted but you never responded,â You say nervous youâd get turned down in person this time.
âWhat are you talking about? I was so excited to see you again because I wanted to get your number the first time we met but I thought it would be weird if I asked after almost giving you a head injury. I wouldâve noticed if you texted me,â He rambles and you just pull out your phone to show him the message. He clicks around on your phone until his eyes get wide.
âI gave you the wrong number,â Jack says with a blush on his face. You feel that maybe your tables are turning. Instead of fate working against you, maybe they just wanted you two to meet a couple of times.
âThird times a charm right?â You smile at him as he fixes his number in your phone. You two fall into conversation once again before he checks the time.
âI have to go but I canât leave until you agree to go on a date with me,â Jack says with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. You just nod knowing that someone was finally betting on your love life.
#hockey imagine#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#hughes brothers#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes#jack hughes imagine#nj devils#jack hughes fic#jh86#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x oc
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Meeting my longtime artist and good friend, Chris, IN REAL LIFE!
So, I hadn't been to a restaurant in over a decade. I can't even remember which restaurant since it was so long ago. But in the past few weeks I've now been to TWO restaurants.
I am becoming a social butterfly.Â
And it is exhausting.
But also good.
First I reconnected with my high school best friend, John.
And that went great.
But then the opportunity to see my friend Chris (a.k.a @whosthewhatnow ) came up only a few days later. And this close proximity of social events scared me a bit, but I have been feeling much better since they figured out my heart thing, so I decided to try and do both things even though they were only a few days apart.Â
The key to this was strategic resting. As soon as I got home from seeing John, I got in bed and I didn't get out of it until it was time to see Chris. And that was just enough recovery time to pull this off. Typically a short outing requires 2-3 days of rest after.Â
I had never met Chris in real life. He has done nearly all of the artwork for my website and comics over the past decade. And he was a main character in my CRAPPRnauts series.
We know each other so well and it is crazy that we've never seen each other with our very own eyeballs.
He is such an amazing artist. He works fast and he adds so many cool extra details that you can stare at his comic panels multiple times and catch a new joke or easter egg each time. He is a dream to work with and my Corg Life series was only successful because he did such a wonderful job bringing Otis to life in comic form.Â
So we decided to meet up at a restaurant with his friend Michael and then I was going to take a nice portrait of him after dinner. Chris had never had a professional photo taken of himself and I decided to fix that.
I told him I had a mobile photography setup. Which, in reality, is a trunk full of lights and stands and other various camera gear that I definitely won't need, but bring anyway. It's "mobile" in that it all fits in my car if you are good at Tetris (which I am).
The restaurant was downtown and I had visions of St. Louis's famous Gateway Arch in the background of Chris's portrait. I thought that would be such a cool shot. I could see it in my head and I even dreamed about it.
So I got in my car and headed downtown and my GPS told me to exit at 249B. But I kept looking and I couldn't see the sign for 249B.
This is how much road I had left when I finally was able to see the exit for 249B.
So I ended up taking 249A and going straight to East St. Louis.
Which, if you believe the headlines, is not a place you ever want to be.
Google Maps and I have been having issues lately. They also tried to get me to take the spooky way home that night, but thankfully I actually knew the non-spooky way back from when I used to go to Cardinal games with my parents as a kid.
My short term memory was trashed by shock therapy. And so was a lot of my long term memory. But it finally came through in a pinch and remembered something useful.
I only had to loop around and cross a bridge so I didn't really do anything but touch the edge of East St. Louis. I was mostly concerned about being late for dinner more than its scary reputation. Usually those news stories about a place being "dangerous" are actually just racist and hurtful to people stuck in poverty. I mean, technically my house is in a "dangerous" neighborhood, and we do have trouble with petty crime in some spots, but aside from a few dinged-up mailboxes, I've never felt unsafe in my home.
On the way back to regular St. Louis I could see the Arch on the horizon at sunset and it was kind of magical. And I wasn't able to get a good shot of it, but it sure looked pretty from my point of view.Â
My photos kind of remind me of the beginning of movies like Training Day where they are trying to show you gritty, dutch angle shots of the city out of the car window to give you a sense of the location.
As I approached the restaurant I invented a new genre I call "stoplight photography." The sky was orange and the streets of St. Louis were just asking to be photographed. But I wasn't willing to die to get neat photos, so I just took them at every red light.
The big trick was trying to edit the dark area at the top of my windshield out of the photos to make it look like I didn't take these pictures from my car.
After a 15 minute detour through Illinois I arrived at my destinationâa Mexican place called Rosalita's. It had a beautiful sign, so I took that literal sign as a metaphorical sign it was a nice place to get a quesadilla.Â
Dinner was great. Both signs were right and their quesadilla was very tasty. Chris and I both got one, so we are quesadilla twins. The waitress was one of those "I can remember your order without writing anything down" types. And I am one of those, "I get anxiety when things aren't written down" types. And, to her credit, she did not forget our orders. But she did forget to give us silverware and napkins. So I still feel like my anxiety was valid.Â
We told sad stories of the pups we lost. But we also had a lot of fun and laughed and I got to meet Michael who turned out to be an absolute mensch. I sometimes have trouble meeting new people with my social anxiety, but he was very affable and made me feel comfortable with his presence almost right away. He was a fan of Otis and mentioned he still has a Super Otis shirt. I always get choked up hearing that Otis is still loved. Hopefully we get to meet again.Â
Dinner ended and it was picture time.
I asked Chris if he wanted the high effort photo or the low effort photo. Either we figure out how to get to the Arch or we find a spot near the restaurant and just take his portrait there. Chris and Michael had a driver because they were coming from a big conference and getting to the Arch would have been complicated. So we decided to go with the low effort option.Â
I found a cool shop nearby that had an LED wall that changed to all sorts of different colors. And I thought that would make a neat background and give a colorful edge light on Chris's face. I pulled my car near that spot and started unloading my trunk full of photo gear.
I think Chris and Michael were a little overwhelmed when I started pulling camera gear out of my trunk like a clown pulling an endless handkerchief out of his mouth. But as far as photo setups go, it was actually pretty minimal.Â
Light, giant battery, light stand, umbrella, tripod, camera, rolling walker with seat.
My dad's old rollator came in clutch because I wanted to shoot from a low angle and it is hard for me to bend down. In fact, I think I'm going to look into getting an all terrain version so I can do more outdoor photoshoots.
I started shooting in the middle of a downtown sidewalk. And I was super anxious. I could not focus (my brain, not my camera). I was very distracted with all of the people walking by and staring. I was not sure if any of the photos were turning out. I wasn't even sure if they were in focus (my camera, not my brain) because I had not yet had my lens calibrated. But down the street there was a guy with an old school boombox playing random music. His music helped to drown out the ambient noise and gave me some comfort.
I had no clue if the photos were any good, but when I got home and checked them on my computer, I realized I have 12 years of experience and muscle memory built up. I probably should have just trusted myself because the photos all turned out great.
I think Chris can now officially say he has had a professional portrait taken of himself.
This photo has been officially loved by Chris's girlfriend and mother.
There is no greater seal of approval and I am honored.
I was able to comp in any of the colors the wall displayed from other shots in case Chris is feeling a little more green in the future.
A literal rainbow of options.
I also liked this one, though it is a little more "environmental portrait" than regular portrait.
And I got some nice photos of our little group to help us remember the night.Â
And I got a bunch of photos of Chris making silly faces like Calvin at his school photoshoot.Â
I love this woman's reaction to our little impromptu sidewalk photo shenanigans.
After we said our goodbyes and I gave my friend a hug, I was a little bummed I didn't get to photograph him at the Arch like I had dreamed.
But then I realized I had my own car and it was capable of taking me places. (I actually haven't gotten used to that after not driving for nearly 15 years.)
So I decided to drive a few blocks over to Kiener Plazaâa park with a view of the Arch.Â
TO BE CONTINUED...
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I wish those Mouthwashing fans would stop attacking everyone who draws Anya as pregnant. First of all I'm pretty sure (Im not an abortion expert so I might be wrong) even if they got back to Earth safely Anya would be too far along to get one so it's not realistic but that's not even my main issue.
Mouthwashing is a PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR GAME that is about people's bodily autonomy being stripped away from them. Yes Anya could kill that thing in a perfect world, but the world of Mouthwashing is very specifically not a perfect world and Anya's pregnancy is incredibly important to the narrative. "But they said it was a good ending au" ok and usually Curly is still severely burned, obviously this is a good RELATIVE TO CANON AU, not the sunshine, rainbows and baby bunnies au.
Anya's pregnancy is the catalyst for everything that happens in the story. While yes there are definitely pro-lifers who are making content like that to push their agenda, that's not where most of this is coming from, and attacking random who people are drawing psychological horror art for the psychological horror game for it just makes you look like an asshole.
I know "Drawing something doesn't mean you condone it irl" Is largely used in shipping discourse but I feel like Mouthwashing fans should be able to understand that "Exploring dark/depressing themes in art, especially fan art of a game like Mouthwashing, does not mean that you think that this is the best possible situation in the real world"
Edit: Also (while I don't think people who do this are bad or media illiterate) I feel like just saying "Well in my AU Anya can just abort that thing and everyone else who does it differently is wrong" kinda misses the point of Mouthwashing. As I said Mouthwashing is a game about the horror of losing bodily autonomy and how these men have failed Anya, it is incredibly important to the narrative and horror of the game that Anya is forced to keep the baby.Â
Obviously, I think people should be allowed to write AUâs where Anya has the choice of getting rid of the baby because it is a nice alternate universe but to me at least it feels like a bit of a cop-out. These auâs actively reject one of the main themes of this game and the creators tend to (not all of them, just some) act like they are better than everyone else who tries to engage with it because conveniently getting rid of one of the most important parts of the game's story and horror makes them feel better even if it ruins the narrative. Donât get me wrong making an AU so you can feel better is great, I do that all the time, but you shouldnât be harassing people for doing things differently. (Oh yeah and harassing people over AUâs is extremely childish and gross)
#mouthwashing#tw sa mention#tw sa implied#tw pregnancy#tw abortion#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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